text:
I got a thoughtfully posed question from a reader named Kathleen on June 22. I started to write my typical three-paragraph reply, then decided to save it for this post. It was that good a question, and it's something that's always in my mind as I work with these birds.
Kathleen wrote: The rehab centre I'm at has a policy of being as hands-off as possible with the animals to prevent socialization to humans, and we do our best to find same-species nestmates or role models, or barring those, at least a mirror to keep babies company. Julie, I've been reading your blog for a long time, and it seems like you take the opposite approach, being very hands-on with the young ones. Do you find that the babies you raise still go right back to being wild once they're on their own? Are they any different from young birds raised the way they are at the centre I'm at?
My answer:
Songbirds are different. I've been raising orphaned songbirds since 1982, and have had quite an array of foundlings successfully find their way back to the wild despite having had loving care from humans to start their lives (or restart them, after losing contact with their natural parents). Birds I have raised have paired with wild birds, raised their own young, and returned to visit in successive years. Cardinal, catbird, cedar waxwing, rose-breasted grosbeak, mourning dove, wood thrush, phoebe...the list goes on. Having been a small-scale rehabber, I have rarely had the good fortune to be able to group young of the same species or place them with conspecifics who will raise them as some larger rehab centers do. So I indulge myself, giving them the same kind of unfettered love I give my children or my domestic pets. I name them and I murmur to them. And when the time comes to release them, I kiss them on their heads and sever our ties very gently, over a period of weeks or even months. Three ruby-throated hummingbirds I raised stayed around the yard for a month and a half after release, coming back for feedings for three days, and after that simply visiting with me. They all migrated on schedule, and all three returned the following spring, resplendent in full ruby gorgets. They still knew their names, but there was no denying that they were full-fledged members of the hummingbird tribe, having flown across the Gulf of Mexico twice and found their way back to my doorstep. I'd call that a successful release.
Having done this for 28 years, I don't believe that refraining from becoming emotionally involved with the birds one raises; refraining from naming them or stroking them or murmuring endearments to them keeps them from identifying you as their mama. I think it's OK, and even desirable, to openly let an orphaned bird or animal know it is loved. I think the clinical approach is just a thin, semantic mask for a bond that must be present in order for a human to devote herself to the care of an orphaned bird. We're in hazy territory, I know, but I strongly believe that even a hummingbird needs to know someone cares for it and loves it. I believe they do better when they are loved. I don't think it hurts to sneak a nuzzle now and then, nor do I believe it shows disrespect for their wildness, as I've been admonished. Do you carry it around like a lapdog? Of course not. You feed it and show it you care, and leave it to its own devices in between.
I maintain that it is difficult if not impossible to keep from bonding with a bird you're feeding on the half-hour all day long. I don't know how it works for you, but that bond is what keeps me going, what allows me to turn my life completely upside down in service to a half-ounce bird, feeding it dawn to dusk, shopping at the grocery store in the middle of the night so I can be home to feed it. Why deny it exists? There's no need to get anthropomorphic about it, but why be coldly clinical about it? I suspect that such hands-off policies are aimed squarely at a rehabilitation organization's viewing public, so that these wild animals are not treated as or perceived as pets. I understand that and fully support it. They aren't pets. They're wild creatures slated for release and independence in their natural habitat. When one has a visiting public for which to model behavior, it's best that wildlife rehabilitation be presented that way.
But it's not how I work, and I'd submit that there are many ways to skin this cat. We're all working toward a successful release, but with songbirds, I believe we have the luxury of being a bit more relaxed about the imprinting issue than we do with raptors, waterfowl or galliniformes. Working alone or with the help of my daughter, I have been able to indulge my maternal instincts, shower my charges with love, and still keep in mind that they are ultimately wild and will return to the wild. Do my foundlings leave more slowly? Doubtless. And I believe that every minute, hour and day that a bird has to develop its flight muscles, foraging and survival skills and devote to simply figuring out how to live wild gives it an advantage over one that is simply abandoned when the rehabilitator thinks it's time. Release is a very dicey thing. Knowing when a bird is truly able to be self-sufficient is a skill that takes awhile to acquire. I'd doubt very much that most rehabilitators have the luxury of following an orphaned mourning dove along its path to independence for 60 days, as I did with Libby.
She found her own kind; she billed and cooed and preened with a same-age juvenile dove; she stopped landing on our heads; she became wild and wary and finally, while we were away on vacation, she left, perhaps for good. Or perhaps not. I look for her every day, and should I be blessed enough to lay eyes on her again, I'll know her, just as I knew the hummingbirds, the waxwing, the cardinal, the phoebe, the grosbeak and the wood thrush. It is a magical thing to be a bird's mother, to love it fully and to let it go, and to see it return of its own free will until it doesn't need to any more.
So, Kathleen, I can't say how it goes for the birds raised at your center, never having witnessed their release. I can't say how they differ from the birds I've raised. While they may not go "right back" to the wild, I can say that most of mine make it, having had the luxury of letting their instincts kick in slowly on their own, with full backup from their earthbound mama. I encourage them to linger, keeping food around at all times, but their wildness inevitably takes over, as they learn to take cues from the wild birds all around them. I go from Mom to just another human unit to be avoided, until that magic day weeks, months or years after release when I am approached by a free-living wild bird who comes up for a moment, just to say hello. For the months of effort and concern I've expended on its behalf, there could be no sweeter benediction.


text:
15401 Community Colleges
- For the 2020-21 school year, there is 1 top community college in 15401, Uniontown, Pennsylvania, serving 233 students.
- Minority enrollment is 4% of the student body (majority Black).
- The student:teacher ratio of 10:1 is less than the state average of 25:1.
15401, PA Community Colleges (2020-21)
- College Location Students
- 11 East Penn St
Uniontown,  PA 15401
(724) 439-4900
233 students
Recent Articles
Learn about how budgetary constraints are prompting community colleges to only offer four-day school weeks.
Learn about how you can pursue a degree and career in the entertainment industry by starting at your local community college.
Learn about the variety of mentoring programs available in community colleges, and why you may want to be involved as a mentee or mentor.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
The Internal Private Network (IPN), Cyberport's backbone for Internet access, is a unique IT&T facility unlike standard market broadband products, with 4GB Ethernet uplinks and pay-as-you-go bandwidth to accommodate unanticipated increases in user demand. Tenants receive two IPN ports at 100 Mbps local shared bandwidth free of charge after a one-time installation fee, and can subscribe for GE ports if higher or dedicated international bandwidth is required at a cost of only $1,000/Mbps per month (up to 1Gbps) through the Cyberport Optical Network (CON).
IPN ports can support both IPv4 and IPv6. Each IPN port subscription comes with one free public IPv4 address which will be assigned by the system automatically. In the event that a fixed IPv4 address is required, tenants must submit the MAC address of their interconnecting network device for registration. For IPv6 addresses, a prefix of 48 will be allocated upon request at no additional charge. An 8-IP network (with three usable IP addresses) will be allocated if more fixed IPs per port are required, with an administration fee of HK$120 per month per 8-IP network address. [APNIC regulations restrict us to 16 public IP addresses per tenant; any requests beyond this must be submitted via NOC and HKCMCL to APNIC for prior approval.]


text:
Class JFerraz Shawmut Class J AJT Fuses Provide Protection To Main, Feeder And Brance Circuits.
Ferraz Shawmut Class J AJT Fuses feature time-delay characteristics for harmless in-rush currents, while the current-limiting ability ensures protection for all applications. Superior cycling ability with worldwide acceptability. Fuses are non-indicating and are made for indoor use. 2-1/4" in length. 600V. Amperage ranges from 2 up to 400.
close ➡


text:
The American Booksellers Association's annual Winter Institute has grown since its launch in Long Beach, Calif., in 2006, as a West Coast alternative to BookExpo America in the East. Just over 300 booksellers attended the first Institute. In the intervening years it quickly reached its cap of 500. This year's conference, in Kansas City, Mo., to be held February 22–25, continues the trend, in large measure because it has kept its focus on booksellers. "The Institute remains a place where booksellers from all across the country can interact with each other, and learn from each other," says ABA CEO Oren Teicher.
Educational sessions are designed to reflect particular topics of concern, from the Kobo/ABA/Ingram partnership to working with self-published authors, best practices for genre buying, and marketing that moves the needle. There are no booths or exhibit floors to distract from the convention. The closest thing is a day of consultation stations with publishers and other industry professionals, including, for the first time, Publishers Weekly—and a locked galley room with ARCs of forthcoming books from publishing sponsors.
The 2013 Institute also features two plenary sessions by bookseller favorites. Daniel Pink returns for a third time, to talk about his most recent book, To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others (Riverhead); and Malcolm Gladwell will discuss his upcoming fall release, David and Goliath (Little, Brown, Oct.). Both Pink and Barnett C. Helzberg Jr., founder and chair of the Helzberg Entrepreneurial Mentoring Program (HEMP), will lead advance seminars. In addition, booksellers will have a chance to meet big-name authors and promising newcomers (see Buzz section below), including Jeannette Walls, whose memoir The Glass Castle was a Booksense Book of the Year Honor Book. Booksellers will be able to participate in a live Q&A with Alex George, whose novel set near Kansas City, The Good American, is this year's One Institute, One Book pick.
While some things stay the same, the Institute remains "a work in progress," according to Teicher. "We've always believed that experimenting with new things and new approaches makes sense." That has meant moving the Institute forward by a month so that it can overlap with Campus Market Expo, or CAMEX, which is held at the Kansas City Convention Center from February 22–26, sponsored by the National Association of College Stores. Where the Institute is small and self-contained, CAMEX has been ranked as one of the 250 largest trade shows in the country for the past 10 years. NACS spokesperson Charles Schmidt anticipates attendance of between 2,200 and 2,400 college store buyers, not including Institute attendees, and more than 700 exhibitors with 1,500 booths.
The collaboration is only for this year, but Teicher holds open the possibility of doing it again, based on feedback. "We know from our ABACUS survey," he says, "that most profitable stores are selling a modest percentage of nonbook merchandise in their inventory. So exposing stores to a wider range of nonbook product makes sense." Those who place an order of any size from a vendor exhibiting at CAMEX will earn a $100 rebate.
For its part, NACS welcomes Institute attendees. As Schmidt points out, "Both organizations' members are facing competition in their traditional product lines and being challenged to provide nontraditional products and services while reducing expenses."
Buzz Books at WI8
With so many noteworthy authors heading to Kansas City for the ABA's second-biggest bookseller confab of the year (after BookExpo), PW asked a cross-section of large and small presses to pick their most buzz-worthy titles. Below are 16 new and forthcoming adult, children's, and crossover books, with a heavy emphasis on fiction.
Author: Samantha Shannon
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Pub month: August
Price: $26 hardcover
First printing: 150,000 copies
Why so excited: "It's rare for a debut author to write with such assuredness and imagination. Samantha has fully conceptualized a terrifying parallel world populated with extraordinary creatures—and has mapped out seven books in order to tell the story. The idea came to Samantha during her first year at university, and we're publishing just after she graduates from Oxford," says West Coast publicity director Sara Mercurio.
Publicity and marketing plans: Rights sold in 16 languages; film rights optioned by the Imaginarium Studios, cofounded by actor/director Andy Serkis; six-figure global marketing campaign that includes targeted Facebook advertising, interactive apps, exclusive content, author participation, and contests, as well as pre-pub meetings with booksellers and a blog tour at publication.
Opening: "I like to imagine there were more of us in the beginning. Not many, I suppose. But more than there are now."
Author: Ru Freeman
Publisher: Graywolf Press
Pub month: May
Price: $26 hardcover
First printing: 40,000 copies
Why so excited: "This novel could be Graywolf's biggest breakout book ever. It has incredible book club and sales potential," says marketing director Michael Taeckens. "It's The Kite Runner meets To Kill a Mockingbird meets In the Time of the Butterflies. Freeman's remarkable story, based partially on her own childhood, depicts the ethnically and religiously diverse families on one lane during the buildup to the Sri Lankan civil war."
Publicity and marketing plans: Ten-city author tour; online marketing and publicity campaign, national advertising, major bookseller and librarian outreach.
Opening: "God was not responsible for what came to pass."
Author: Laura Lee Smith
Publisher: Grove
Pub month: April
Price: $25 hardcover
Why so excited: "Heart of Palm is about one of the funniest, most full-blooded, and occasionally heartbreaking sets of characters: the Bravo family. But it is also a novel of place, specifically, the northern Florida town of Utina, a rundown community about to be swept up in the tide of change that's transformed all of north Florida. Smith has produced a novel of great beauty and wit, with all the roil and surprise of real life," says editor Amy Hundley.
Publicity and marketing plans: Author tour of Florida and the Southeast; marketing to Goodreads and book clubs.
Opening: "Most people never understood why Arla went and married a Bravo."
Author: Benjamin Percy
Publisher: Grand Central/Hachette
Pub month: May
Price: $25.99 hardcover
First printing: 100,000 copies
Why so excited: "Red Moon is an explosive and deeply layered literary thriller set in the American West. Through strong prose and a fresh perspective on the horror genre, Percy crafts a world both familiar and frightening. Unforgettable characters, grisly action, and gripping storyline will have readers tearing through the pages and relishing the prose," says associate director of publicity Sonya Cheuse.
Publicity and marketing plans: Three-city presell tour; six-city author tour; print and online advertising; Web marketing, including book trailer and giveaways.
Opening: "He cannot Sleep."
Author: Helene Wecker
Publisher: Harper
Pub month: May
Price: $26.99 hardcover
First printing: 75,000 copies
Why so excited: "[This] is an enchanting debut novel, an immigrant tale that combines elements of Jewish and Arab folk mythology. It tells the story of two supernatural creatures that arrive separately in New York in 1899 and try to fit into the Jewish community on the Lower East Side and Little Syria on the Lower West Side, respectively. It's fresh and original and immediately appealing," says senior v-p, executive editor Terry Karten.
Publicity and marketing plans: Pre-pub dinner in Northern California; online and social networking campaign; Like to Read Sampler campaign on Facebook; book club outreach; blog tour.
Opening: "The Golem's life began in the hold of a steamship. The year was 1899; the ship was the Baltika, crossing from Danzig to New York. The Golem's master, a man named Otto Rotfield, had smuggled her aboard a crate and hidden her among the luggage."
Author: NoViolet Bulawayo
Publisher: Reagan Arthur/Little, Brown
Pub month: May
Price: $24.99 hardcover
First printing: 50,000 copies
Why so excited: "Bulawayo has used her own unique experience emigrating to the United States from Zimbabwe to tell the story of Darling, a young African girl transplanted to Detroit. In Bulawayo's capable hands, Darling's story is a fresh and honest tale that will ring true for anyone who has ever gone on the search for a better life," says marketing director and associate publisher Heather Fain.
Publicity and marketing plans: Four-city author tour; national media campaign.
Opening: "We are on our way to Budapest: Bastard and Chipo and Godknows and Sbho and Stina and me. We are going even though we are not allowed to cross Mzilikazi Road, even though Bastard is supposed to be watching his little sister Fraction, even though Mother would kill me dead if she found out; we are just going."
Author: Mark Slouka
Publisher: Norton
Pub month: August
Price: $24.95 hardcover
First printing: 50,000 copies
Why so excited: "Brewster is a departure for Slouka; here he returns to his hometown roots and has written, perhaps, the novel of a career. Rarely has a friendship between two teenagers on the brink of manhood been delineated as beautifully and powerfully, and rarely are the stakes as high. Jon and Ray are fighting for their lives in this novel set against the Vietnam War era," says v-p, executive editor Jill Bialosky.
Publicity and marketing plans: Six-city author tour; early outreach and giveaways on Goodreads; co-op available.
Opening: "The first time I saw him fight was right in front of the school, winter."
Author: Edoardo Nesi
Translator: Antony Shugaar
Publisher: Other Press
Pub month: May
Price: $19.95 hardcover
First printing: 20,000 copies
Why so excited: "[This] book is a cri de coeur about the devastation globalization has wrought on the local economies and industries that Nesi grew up with. It's a must-read for all those who value 'local' and 'sustainable' and abhor the 'creative destruction of capitalism.' But that is only part of the story. This screed, this confession of having to give up the family business, is also a literary work of the highest order," says associate publisher Paul Kozlowski.
Publicity and marketing plans: First nonfiction book to win the 2011 Strega Prize.
Opening: "In September 2004—on September 7, 2004— sold my family's textile company."
Author: Jeannette Walls
Publisher: Scribner
Pub month: June
Price: $24.95 hardcover
First printing: 500,000 copies
Why so excited: "We are thrilled that Walls will be attending Winter Institute, because it represents a bit of a homecoming," says v-p, director of publicity Brian Belfiglio. "Independent booksellers were early and eloquent champions of The Glass Castle…. The Silver Star affirms [Walls's] remarkable evolution from bestselling memoirist to exceptional novelist."
Publicity and marketing plans: Ten-city author tour; national print and online advertising; outreach to book clubs.
Opening: "My sister saved my life when I was just a baby."
Author: Cathie Pelletier
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Pub month: May
Price: $24.99 hardcover
Why so excited: "Cathie is a rare talent, and The One-Way Bridge shows her at her best. Cathie has the ability to satirize any circumstance and at the same time draw the reader deeply into the characters and their lives, which are anything but tranquil. Fans will be thrilled to return to their beloved Mattagash; new readers will delight in the dynamic, true-to-life folks of this rural Maine village. Readers of writers such as Elizabeth Strout and Richard Russo will surely feel at home with this exquisite novel," says v-p, editorial director Todd Stocke.
Publicity and marketing plans: Ten-city tour of New England and the Southeast; advertising; online marketing; book club outreach.
Opening: "There is something in the northern Maine air that speaks of the first snowfall hours before it arrives."
Author: Stephan Pastis
Publisher: Candlewick Press
Pub month: February
Price: $14.99 hardcover (middle grade)
First printing: 200,000 copies
Why so excited: "It's exciting to debut Pastis as a children's author to booksellers familiar with his wildly popular cartoon strip, Pearls Before Swine. It is a reintroduction of sorts to a very talented artist, writer, and comedian, who, through the evolution of his own life, and especially through his own children, has discovered that he has something valuable and very funny to share with kids in this different kind of storytelling medium," says publicist Tracy Miracle.
Publicity and marketing plans: Twelve-city author tour; $250,000 marketing campaign; pre-pub tour; online and social media campaign; consumer ad campaign with Poptropica and Funbrain, among others; nine-month teaser campaign that began at BEA.
Opening: "It's harder to drive a polar bear into somebody's living room than you'd think."
Author: Linda Urban
Publisher: Harcourt
Pub month: March
Price: $15.99 hardcover (middle grade)
First printing: 35,000 copies
Why so excited: "Linda will be a familiar face to many booksellers, as she began her career working at Vroman's in Southern California. Her forthcoming title is a quiet story with a powerful impact. The Center of Everything explores a girl's grief and regrets following her grandmother's death. Set in a quirky small town that hosts an annual celebration of the invention of the donut hole, [the book] is itself like a perfectly cooked donut: just the right amount of sweetness and substance," says publicity director Jennifer Groves.
Publicity and marketing plans: Author tour; featured in Middle Grade Mania Campaign; consumer print and online advertising; educator discussion guide.
Opening: "In the beginning, there was the donut."
Author: Ally Carter
Publisher: Disney-Hyperion
Pub month: February
Price: $17.99 hardcover (YA)
First printing: 200,000 copies
Why so excited: "Carter has mastered the art of giving readers exactly what they want while leaving them on the edge of their seats. She doesn't disappoint in Perfect Scoundrels, the third book in her New York Times–bestselling Heist Society series. Hale has always been a fan favorite, and this time Kat has to save him from being the mark," says senior editor Catherine Onder.
Publicity and marketing plans: Multicity author tour; Heist Society/Gallagher Girls free novella e-book, Double Crossed, released January 22; movie theater ad campaign; featured title in Hyperion Teen Design Challenge cover promotion.
Opening: "Of all the people who knew about the big house in the middle of Wyndham Woods, very few had ever been inside."
Author: Alaya Dawn Johnson
Publisher: Scholastic/Arthur A. Levine
Pub month: March
Price: $17.99 hardcover (YA)
First printing: 50,000 copies
Why so excited: "Johnson is the personification of what's so exciting about The Summer Prince: a swift, sharp intelligence, a palpable warmth, and style to spare," says publisher Arthur A. Levine about this story of love, death, technology, and art set in the lush tropics of a futuristic Brazil. "Booksellers better read this in pairs, 'cause if you're like me you'll be dying to have someone to talk about it the minute you're through."
Publicity and marketing plans: Appearances at TeenBookCon and select events in the New York area; national advertising and social media campaigns; promotions and contests on thisisteen.com/books.
Opening: "When I was eight, my papai took me to the park to watch a king die."
Author: Shannon Messenger
Publisher: SimonPulse
Pub month: March
Price: $17.99 hardcover (YA)
First printing: 75,000 copies
Why so excited: "In the YA publishing world, we've seen a large number of books focusing on a teen girl who falls for a guy with some kind of special power. Then along comes Let the Sky Fall, where it's the girl who's got the kick-butt power and the guy who's desperately in love with her. Even better, in this story, the characters are wind sylphs, with abilities that are 'grounded' in a world that feels familiar and accessible," says executive editor Liesa Abrams.
Publicity and marketing plans: Author appearances; online chat postpublication; countdown widget; Pulse IT feature title; dedicated Windwalkers series microsite.
Opening: "I'm lucky to be alive."
Author: Sharon Draper
Publisher: Atheneum BFYR
Pub month: March (YA)
Price: $17.99 hardcover
First printing: 100,000 copies
Why so excited: "Sharon came up with the idea for Panic because of a mini-experiment she'd been conducting. She'd been disturbed by how much she'd been reading about kids making really bad decisions when it came to trusting strangers they had no business trusting. It's a novel about a teen who says 'yes' when she should have said 'no,' a novel that is harrowing and haunting, yet hopeful," says v-p, editorial director Caitlyn Dlouhy.
Publicity and marketing plans: Seven-city tour; blogger, and book club outreach; Pulse It feature title
Opening: "'Hey, dance boy!' Sixteen-year-old Justin Braddock, wearing his favorite Timberland boots, tromped down the rain-slicked sidewalk, book bag slung over his left shoulder, heading to the bus stop. He did not turn around—he knew who trailed him."


text:
Miscellaneous thoughts about miscellaneous matters
I have gotten the impression that American schools do not teach Civics very well. There seem to be U.S. citizens who think that the people should do what the government says, and that the Duty of Civil Disobedience is not a responsibility that Americans should take seriously. The matter of how citizens should act in a republic has a great deal formal philosophical literature behind it, and its origin go back before the origin of organized government. I could go back to Platos Republic and some
Updated 08-20-2019 at 05:20 PM by PeterL


text:
I Love Black People T-Shrit $12.95
and other t-shirts
Black Parrot
A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot.
So Many Fathers
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."
Stolen Bike
A truck driver is driving through a little town in Georgia wit a truck load of bowling balls. In this town there is 2 state troupers who hate truck drivers with a passion. The truck driver sees the two and turns off at the next exit. He sees a little black boy on a bike hitch hicking he picks up the little boy but tells him, "you cant ride up here but you can ride in the back. So he put's the little black boy and his bike in the back and get's back on the interstate. the two state cops see him again and pull him over they start giving him hell just looking for something to write him up for. They can't find anything so they are about to let him go then one says to the other, "We forgot to check the back." So one goes to the back opens the doors, slams them back comes up to the truck driver. The cop is whiter than a ghost and scared as hell, and says "Get the hell out of my town, get the hell out of my county, get the hell out of my state and don't ever come back." So the truck driver leaves. when they get back into the car one looks at the other and says "what the hell did you see back there?" the other says, "That guy was carring a truck load of black babys and one had already hatched and stolen a bike".
Tatooed Penis
This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.'"
Proud Jamaican Father
A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds."
The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?"
The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
Penis Contest
Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."
Sandbox Humor
First-grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"
Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."
Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."
She does and gets a cookie. Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.
Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."
Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."
Morris does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.
He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."
Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."
Black One-liners 2 (Submitted by users)
Q: Two black guys decide to jump off a building; who lands first?
A: Who cares?
Q: A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving?
A: The cop!
Q: Why are black peoples nostrils so big?
A: Because that's what God held them by when he was painting them.
Q: What do you get if you search for babboon in dictionary?
A: You get a picture of Robert Mugabe.
Q: What is black, purple,and yellow?
A: A black person goin to church.
Q: How do they make roads in South Africa?
A: They make the black people lay down and have every other one smile.
Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.
Q: How can you tell a black person is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: Why are there more black folk then Indians?
A: Because we haven't played Cowboys and Black folk yet!
Q: How do you break up the "Million Man March"?
A: Fly overhead with helicopters and drop job applications.
Q: Why did the black man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?
A: He said: "If I'ze gonna be im-po-tent, I wanna looks im-po-tant."
Q: What do they do with blacks after they die?
A: Gut them and use them as wetsuits.
Q: What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?
A: Jail break
Q: What do you call 4 black guys in a car?
A: Tinted windows.
Q: Why are black ladies pocket books so big?
A: They have to put their lipstick some where.
Q: What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa?
A: A good start.
Q: Why are all black people fast?
A: Because the slow ones are in jail.
Q: What's long and hard on a blackman?
A: The first grade.
Q: What do you call a bunch of blacks falling down a hill?
A: A mudslide .
Q: What did the black kid get for christmas?
A: Your T.V
Q: What do you call vietnamese guy that wants to be black?
A: Vinegar!
Q: What does NAACP stand for?
A: National Association of Apes Called People
Q: What do you call a black guy with a fan?
A: Antique air conditioner
Q: What travels at 200km's a hour?
A: A black man hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine?
A: They both don't work and always take your money.
Q: What u call 10 black people in the back of a truck?
A: A good days hunting.
Q: What do you call one black on the moon?
A: Problem
Q: What do you call ten blacks on the moon?
A: Problems
Q: What do you call the entire black population on the moon?
A: Problem solved
Q: Why dont black women wear panties to picknics?
A: To keep the flies off the chicken.
Q: What's faster then a black guy running down the street with your TV?
A: His brother behind him with the VCR
Q: Why wasnt there any blacks in the flintstones?
A: Because they were still monkeys.
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs?
A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
Q: What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in a pile of leaves?
A: Rasin Brand.
Q: What do you call a group of black people.
A: An auction
Q: Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?
A: KFC isnt open on holidays.
Q: What would martin luther king be if he was white?
A: Alive
Q: What are three things you can't give a black person?
A: A black eye, a fat lip and a job.
Q: Why do black people lean to the center of their car?
A: They think the smell is coming from the outside.
Q: Why did God give Black guy's big dicks?
A: He felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads.
Q: Why are black women like bicycles?
A: They give out free rides
Q: Ever hear about the black man who went to college?
A: Neither Have I.
Q: Why do black men have bigger penises than white men?
A: Because as kids white men had toys to play with.
Q: Why are there only two paulbears at a black guys funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.
Q: What does FUBU really stand for?
A: Farmers used to buy us.
Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face?
A: Stop laughing and reload.
Q: What's the difference between bigfoot and a hard working black man?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted
Q: How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 2 one to screw it in the other to drive the pink caddilac
Q: What do you call a black man on a stick?
A: A tootsie roll pop
Q: Why are blacks so fast?
A: From running from the cops.
Q: Whats the difference between a black and tires?
A: When you put chains on tires they dont sing
Q: Did you hear about the black who died yesterday on Rt. 80?
A: He stuck his head out of the window at 100 mph and his lips beat him to death!
Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world?
A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
Q: How do you hide something from a Black Man?
A: Put it in a book.
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the street and a dead black guy in the street?
A: There's swerve marks in front of the dog
Q: Why are black peoples hands white?
A: Because there always leening up aganst cop cars.
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole?
A: You swerve around the pothole.
Q: What happened to the 5 black guys that drove off a cliff in a cady?
A: Who gives a shit!!
Q: What do you call 400 black people swiming in a river?
A: An oil spill
Q: Why was the black baby crying?
A: He had diarea and thought he was melting
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand?
A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp
Q: What do you call 9 black guys hanging in a tree???
A: An alabama windchime
Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The lights out, how can u count them?
Q: Why can't black's,live in the country side.
A: There's no street corners.
Q: Why can't black people spell.
A: Because there black.
Q: How do you starve a negro to death?
A: Hide his food stamps under his work boots.
Q: How do you kill 50 flys?
A: Hit a somailen in the face with a shovel
Q: What do you get if you cross an afro with a black?
A: A microphone.
Q: Why Do Blacks Hate Country?
A: Every time they here Ho-Down They think someone shot their sister
Q: Why don't black people like asprin?
A: They have to pick through cotton to get to them
Q: Why cant stevie wonder read?
A: Cuz hes black
Q: What does FUBU stand for?
A: Farmers Used to Beat Us
Q: What do you call a black man at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Polution
Q: What do you call all the black people at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Solution
Q: Why is there cotton in medicine bottles?
A: To remind the black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.
Q: Whats yellow, black in the middle and funny?
A: A school bus full of blacks driving off a cliff
Q: What's purple and chained to my front porch?
A: It's my damn neigro and I'll paint him any color I want to.
Q: What is it called when a black women is in labour?
A: Constipation
Q: Why Are black peoples hands and feet white?
A: When God painted them he told them to assume the position.
Q: A black guy and a spanish guy are in a car whos driving?
A: The cop
Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets?
A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk
Q: What do Black lesbians have for breakfast?
A: Cocoa Muffs
Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy?
A: The park bench can support a family
Q: What does pontiac stand for?
A: Poor old nigger thinks its a cadillac.
You're So Black
You're so black you blead coffee.
You're so black you could leave a hand print in charcoal.
You're so black you went to night school and the teacher counted you absent.
Snap!!! Snap!!!
I bloke walked into a bar with a crocodile on a lead. He walked up to the bar man and said:
"I'll have a beer please... and a black manfor the croc"
"Very well" said the Barman. He pulled the man his pint and went and got a dead black man from out the back. He threw it across the bar and the crocodile ate it.
The bloke went back up to the bar and the barman said:
"Same again?"
"Aye" said the man with the crocodile... and I'll have another nigger for the croc. Sure enough the bloke had his pint and the croc had his black man.
The bloke went back up to the bar. The barman said
"Same again Sir?"
"Aye" said the bloke..."and I'll have another black man for the crock."
"I'm sorry Sir, but we don't have any dead black man left," said the barman,"how about a pygmy?"
"No" said the bloke, "he doesn't drink shorts."
They are BURNING!
Pepito was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Pepito, and said: Pepito, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Pepito spun the wheel at full speed,then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Pepito replied: Damn! I better hurry because they are burning!
Gotta Stop for a Black Man
There are 3 guys. A jew, mexican, and a black man. These 3 guys were in the middle of nowhere and were stranded with no way of transportation to get to town. Well, they thought of this idea to have one of them lay down in the middle of the road and figured a car would stop and they would have a ride. So, the jew went and laid in the road. A car came and thump thump, ran him right over. Ah man, it didn't work, but its gotta. You try it. The mexican went out on the road and a car came and thump thump, ran him right over. Dangn't, this is such a good idea, they gotta stop for a black man. So the black man went out on the road and car came. Thump thump, errrrrt, reerrrrrr thump thump, thump thump, thump thump.
New White Kid
There is this black kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the black kids. So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. Hey dad look im white! His dad kicks his ass, and says alright go show your mother. Hey mom look im white! His mom beats the shit out of him then says go show your gradma. Hey gradma look im white she beats his ass and sends him to his room. About an hour later all the family comes to his room and says have you learned anything from this? The kid says yeah ive learned i have only been white for an hour and I already hate 3 niggers.
Black And His Son
A black man and his son are on a plane heading home back to Africa. During the plane flight theres a problem, the plane is overweight. On the overhead an annoucement comes on. "We are having overweight problems so we are going to have to throw some people off of the back of the plane, we'll start in alphabetical order. Will all african americans please stand up and move to the back of the plane". The Son stands up and the father says "sit down." "Will all black people please stand up and goto the back of the plane." The Son stands up father says "sit down." "Will all cloured people please stand up and move to the back of the plane." The Son stands up the father says "sit down." The son then says "But dad, if were not african americans, blacks, or coloured, what are we?" "Today were Niggers son."
Magical River
A black family of four hears about a magical river that can turn them white if they swim across so they go and the dad and mom swim across, and they come out white, the dauhter jumps in and swims across and she turn white, so the son trys to swim but the current takes him and the little girl goes up to dad and goes, daddy daddy Kobe just got taken by the current and the dad says, "Ah, fuck that nigger".
Halloween Costumes
A black man and his wife were going to a Halloween party in a couple of days. The husband tells his wife to go to the store and get costumes for them to wear. When he comes home that night he goes to the bedroom and laid out on the bed is a Superman costume. The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Superman? Take this back and get me something else I can wear." The next day the wife not too happy, returns the costume and gets a replacement. The husband comes home from work once more and there laid out on the bed was a Batman costume. He again yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Batman? Take this back and get me something I can wear to the costume party." By this time the wife is irate, so the next morning she goes shopping. When the husband comes home again from work there laid out on the bed are three items. One is a set of three white buttons, another is a white belt, and the third item is a 2 x 4 of wood. The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?" The wife yells back, "You can take your clothes off and take the three white buttons and put them on the front of you and go as a domino, and if you don't like that one, you can take the belt and put it on and go as an Oreo cookie, and if you don't like that one, you can stick the 2 x 4 up your ass and go as a fudgesicle!
Black One-liners (Submitted by users)
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
A: The black ones steal your watch.
Q: How do you start a black parade?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.
Q: Why do blacks burry their dead upside down?
A: Use em as bike racks.
Q: How did they improve the transportation in harlem?
A: Move the trees closer together.
Q: What did the black girl say while having sex?
A: Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.
Q: Why are black people like jelly beans?
A: No one likes the black ones.
Q: What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A: A rotten banana
Q: What was the only thing missing from the million man march?
A. An auctionner
Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit?
A: 9 months.
Q: What do you call 100 black guys baried from the neck down?
A: Afroturf.
Q: Why are blacks afried of lawnmovers?
A: Beacuse it gose run nigger nigger run.
Q: What do you call a barn full of blacks?
A: Antique farm equipment.
Q: What do u call a black priest?
A: Holy shit
Q: What does the BFI on the dumpsters stand for?
A: Black Family Inside
Q: Have you ever seen a black person on the jetsons?
A: NO. Looks like a good future doesn't it?
Q: What do you call a black person in a three piece suit?
A: Will the defendent please rise.
Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.
Q: What do you call 20,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road?
A: There's skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: Why are black people so good at Basketball?
A: Cause all you have to do is RUN ... SHOOT ... and STEAL
Q: What do you do if you see a black man flopping around on the ground?
A: Stop laughing and reload
Q: What Do You call Mike Tyson if he has no arms or legs?
A: Nigger, Nigger, Nigger!!!!
Q: What do you call a group of blacks in the ocean?
A: An oil spill
Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids?
A: Cocoa puffs
Q: What do you call a 80 year old black guy?
A: Antique farm equipment.
Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls?
A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths
Young Racists
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Robot Caddy
A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free. The golfer agrees and takes out the robot. While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life.
The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies.
He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore. The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened.
The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of their metallic material and into their eyes.
The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black?
The golf pro said that they did, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.
It is hard being black.
It is hard being black. We get the bad end of the deal with every sport. Hockey your slappin a black puck around. Pool you have a white ball trying to knock you in a hole. The only thing we have is bowling, where you have a black ball trying to knock down a bunch of rednecks.
No Mexicans Please
A U.S. Navy cruiser pulled into port in Mississippi for a week's liberty.The first evening, the Captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:
"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's, coming of age party. I would like you to send four well mannered, handsome, unmarried officers. They should arrive at 8 p.m. prepared for an evening of polite southern conversation and dance with lovely young ladies. One last point: No, Mexicans. We don't like Mexicans."
Sure enough, at 8 p.m. on Thursday, the lady heard a rap at the door. She opened the door to find, in dress uniform, four exquisitely mannered, smiling black officers. Her jaw hit the floor, but pulling herself together she stammered, "There must be some mistake!"
"On no, madam," said the first officer, "Captain Martinez doesn't make mistakes."
The Mexican
A Mexican family crosses over the border to the Land of Milk and Honey where the streets are paved with gold. But the husband can find no work.
His family is hungry, so he takes a walk to a quiet place at the foot of a big hill, kneels at the base of a tree, and begins to pray: "Sweet Jesus, please show me a way to feed my family..."
Eyes closed, the Mexican does not see the BLACK man coming over the top of the hill, who is stumbling wildly with a broken grocery sack. When the Mexican man opens his eyes, a large wheel of cheddar cheese rolls down the hill an lands at his feet!
"Oh, thank you Jesus, thank you!" he cries, grabs the cheese, and runs straight home. Upon returning home, he gives the cheese to his wife and instructs her to make nachos.
"But wouldn't you rather have cheese enchiladas and burritos and other things?" she inquires. "No," the husband says, "Jesus sent this to me with a message... As I ran home,
I kept hearing Him yell, ' THAT'S NACHO CHEESE! THAT'S NACHO CHEESE!'
Black One Liners
Q: Why are aspirins white?
A: Because they work.
Q: How did the black girl know her mother was on the rag?
A: Her brothers dick tasted funny.
Q: What has six legs and goes: "Ho-de-do, ho-de-do, ho-de-do"?
A: Three blacks running for the elevator.
Q: What's the definition of the word "Confusion"?
A: Father's day in Harlem.
Q: Do you know why so many blacks were killed in Vietnam?
A: Because every time the seargeant said: "Get down!" they stood up and started dancing.
Q: What did God say when he saw the first black person?
A: Ooops, I burnt one!
Q: Why is Stevey Wonder Smiling all the time?
A: He doesn't know he's black.
Q: Blacks took over Toys R us.
A: The renamed it to We B toys.
Q: A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant.
A: It's called Nacho Mama.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Eskimo with a black person?
A: A Snowblower that Doesn't work!
Q: What do you call an Negro with a peg leg?
A: Shit on a stick.
Q: What does an apple and a Negro have in common?
A: They both look soooo pretty hanging from a tree.
Q: How do you starve a black man?
A: Put his food stamps in his work boots.
Q: Why don't blacks like Tylenol?
A: They have to pick cotton to get to them.
Q: What did the black women get for getting an abortion?
A: Fat cash from crime stoppers.
Q: What does a black person get for Christmas?
A: Your bike!!!
Q: How do you keep black people out of your back yard?
A: Hang one in the front!!
Q: What is the difference between a black and a bucket of shit?
A: The bucket.
Q: Why do you never hit a black on a bike?
A: Because it is probably your bike.
Q: Why are black people so tall?
A: Because their knee grows.
Q: Why do black people wear hats covering their face?
A: So the birds don't shit on their lips.
Q: What is white with a black asshole?
A: The A-Team
Q: How many black people does it take to single a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice um.
Q: How many black people does it take to pave a road?
A: Depends on how heavy the roller is.
Q: When is the only time u concentrate on a black man.
A: Behind the eyepiece of your rifle.
Q: What's the difference between batman and a blackman?
A: Batman can go to the store with out robin.
Q: What's the difference between shit and a black?
A: Eventually Shit turns white and stops stinking.
Q: Is it better to be born black or gay?
A: Black - because you don't have to tell your folks.
Q: How do they say "fuck you" in Los Angeles?
A: Trust me.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: An interracial couple in a car wreck.
Q: How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet?
A: None, it's a woman's job.
Q: What's the definition of black foreplay?
A: Don't scream or I'll kill you.
Q: How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?
A: Ever try and take a rib from a black.
Q: Who won the race down the tunnel, the black or the Pole?
A: The Pole because the black had to stop to write "motherfucker" on the wall.
Q: What do you get when you cross a black and a groundhog?
A: 6 more weeks of basketball season.
Q: Why do blacks always have sex on their minds?
A: Because of the pubic hair on their heads.
Q: Did you hear about the new black French restaurant?
A: It's called Chez What.
Q: What did Lincoln say after his five day drunk?
A: I freed whom.
Q: What's long, black and smelly?
A: The unemployment line.
Q: Why don't blacks like blowjobs?
A: They don't like any jobs.
Q: What do you get when you cross a black prostitute with a Chinese woman?
A: A broad that sucks shirts.
Q: Why do blacks raise chickens?
A: To teach their kids how to walk.
Q: How do you make a black nervous?
A: Take him to an auction.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A: A black and Decker pecker wrecker.
Q: What do you call a black test tube baby?
A: Janitor in a drum.
Q: Why do blacks smell so bad?
A: So the blind can hate them too.
Q: How did they invent break dancing?
A: Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.
Q: Why did God invent golf?
A: So white people could dress up like blacks.
Q: What do you call a black man in Thailand?
A: A tycoon.
Q: Why do blacks keep their fly's open?
A: In case they have to count to eleven.
Q: What do you call a black man in a tree?
A: A branch manager.
Q: What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
A: Father's day.
Q: Who are the two most famous black women in history?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mutha Fucker.
Q: How do you stop a black baby from crying?
A: Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
Q: Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
A: They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
Q: What do you call 4 blacks in a 57 chevy?
A: Blood vessel.
Q: Why do blacks wear white gloves?
A: So they don't bite their fingers eating tootsie rolls.
Q: What is black and has four legs and goes Hol De Doe, Hol De Doe?
A: Two blacks running for the elevator.
Q: Why did God invent the climax?
A: So blacks would know when to stop fucking.
Q: Why did so many blacks get killed in the war?
A: When the Colonel yelled get down, they all got up and danced.
Q: What's the definition of worthless?
A: A 7'2" black man with a small prick, that can't play basketball.
Q: What do you call a black with a new bike?
A: A thief.
Q: What do you call a black with a new caddie?
A: A better thief.
Q: Why don't black kids jump on their beds?
A: Because they'll stick to the velcro on the ceiling.
Q: How do you get them down once they're stuck?
A: Tell Mexican kids they're pinatas.
Q: Did you hear about Klu Klux Kneivel?
A: He tried to jump over 8 blacks with a steam roller.
Q: How can you tell when a black as been on your computer?
A: It is not there.
Q: What do you call a black with no arms?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: Why do black women where high heels?
A: So their knuckles don't drag.
Q: What do you call a black guys condom?
A: A duffle bag.
Q: Why are black guys eyes red after sex? A: From the pepper spray.
Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10,000 black guys?
A: Warden.
Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 black guys?
A: The quarterback.
Q: Whats wrong with 5 blacks driving a Cadillac off of a cliff?
A: The car holds 6.
Q: How do you get a black man out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: What do you call a black person on birth-control?
A: Crime prevention.
Black Hair
The black dude walked into the house to see his wife dancing seductively in front of him. "Hey babe," he said. "Where'd you get that grass skirt?" "That aint no grass skirt," she replied. "I had my hair straightened."
Heart Transplant
An old Souther planter goes into the hospital and is informed by the doctor that his condition is pretty serious. In fact, he's going to require a heart transplant.
"Well, doctor," drawls the planter, "you'd best get on with it. But whatever you do, just don't give me the heart of a black man."
When he comes out of the anaesthetic, the doctor is leaning over his bedside anxiously. "Cal," he says, "I got to use a black man's heart." Cal pales. "But the good news is: your dick is three inches longer.
The Genie
A black guy knew he had it made when the old brass bottle he found in the back yard turned out to have a genie in it. Any three wishes he had would be granted, the genie informed him.
"I wanna be rich," said the black man. The back yard filled up with chests of gold coins and jewels in the blink of an eye.
"I'm no fool," said the black man. "I wanna be white." And there he stood, white, blonde-haired and blue-eyed.
"Thirdly, I never want to work another day in my life." And he was black again.
Ghetto Test
If the statement is true add the points in parenthesis to your score.
Scoring is given at the bottom of the test.
1. You've ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan. (5 points)
2. You've ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception. (8 points)
3. You've ever had to use pliers to turn your TV on. (7points)
4. You had to come in the house when the street lights came on. (6 points)
5. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady)
6. If you can count more than five police cars in your neighborhood on a daily basis. (3 points)
7. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each)
8. If you've ever been beaten with an extension cord. (15 points)
9. If you have ever had to walk to or home from school. (2 points)
10. If you've ever passed someone a note asking "Do you like me?" or "Can I have a chance?" check _yes, _no or _maybe. (7 points)
11. If you have ever used dish washing liquid for bubble bath. (9points)
12. If you have ever mixed up some Kool-Aid and the found that you didn't have any sugar. (4 points & add 4 if you put the pitcher in the refrigerator until you got some sugar)
13. If you have ever played any of the following games. (2 points each): (hide and go seek, freeze tag, captain or momma may I?, or red light..yellow light..green light 123!)
14. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he rang a bell + 5 if he played R&B)
15. If you remember any of the following candies. (1 point each): cherry clans, lemon heads, Alexander the grape, ring pops, Chico sticks, baked beans, candy cigarettes, powder packs with the white dip stick, big league chew, "Wine" Candy (jolly ranchers), jaw breakers, and candy necklaces.
16. If you refer to Now and Laters candies as "Nighladers". (6 points)
17. If you've ever ran from the police on foot. (5 points + 5 if you got away)
18. If you remember underoos or the Wonder Woman bra and panty set. (6 points + 4 if you owned some)
19. If you've ever had reusable grease in a container on your stove. (5 points)
20. The batteries in your remote control are held in by a piece of tape. (5 points)
21. If you've ever used any of the following for drinking glasses. (3 points each): jelly jars, mayonnaise jars, mason jars, or peanut butter jars.
22. You've ever covered your furniture in plastic. (2 points)
23. The heels of your feet have ever looked like you had been kicking flour. (1point)
24. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances. (1 point each): Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge'.
25. You've ever used Tussy. (9 points)
26. You've never been to the dentist. (10 points + 10 if you've never been to the doctor.)
27. You've ever wore clothes with the tag still on them. (4 points)
28. If you're acquainted with someone with a name as follows. (3 points): Kay-Kay, Lee-Lee, Ree-Ree, Ray-Ray, etc.
29. You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)
30. You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points)
31. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc). (3 points)
32. You pronounce words like this (1 point for each example you can think of skrimps or strimps, skreet, axe (ask), member (remember), frigerator, etc.
33. You use nem' to describe a certain group of people (for example Craig and nem' or momma and nem'). (6 points)
34. You've ever had a crack across your windshield and never bothered to get it fixed. (3 points)
35. You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat. (4 points)
36. You've ever asked a perfect stranger to take a picture with you and told your friends it was someone you dated. (3 points)
37. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking it. (7 points)
38. If you've ever ran a race barefoot in the middle of the street at approximately 11 at night. (10 points)
39. You've ever left a social gathering with a plate. (1 point)
40. You leave a restaurant with silverware, sugar, and/or jelly. (8 points)
41. You think "red" is a flavor of Kool-Aid. (4 points)
42. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (3 points)
43. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (8 points)
44. You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan's. (5 points)
45. If you've ever had to get to the driver's side of the car through the passenger side door. (8 points)
46. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (7 points)
47. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?" (10 points)
48. You won't answer the phone if you don't recognize the number on the caller id box. (7 points)
49. You know a child who can't speak, but can do the "bank-head bounce." (15 points)
50. You think Tupac is still alive. (20 points)
0 - 30 - You have enjoyed a nice sheltered life in the suburbs.
31 - 60 - Hood movies have given you a little exposure.
61 - 100 - You may have visited the hood a few times or on weekends.
101 - 130 - You probably spent a few years in the hood, and moved to the suburbs.
131 - 160 - You're the genuine article. You are no stranger to hood life.
161 - 200 - You are definitely, without a doubt an expert on life in the hood.
201+ - Congratulations! You are Ghetto Fabulous!


text:
News & Notes: Game 124
Buffalo Bisons
67-56, 2nd(-6.0)
LHP Raul Valdes 1-1, 1.88
Rochester Red Wings
47-79, 6th(-27.5)
RHP Mat Fox 6-8, 4.23
Friday, August 20, 2010
Coca-Cola Field – Buffalo, NY
TV: Time Warner Cable SportsNet 13
Radio: WWKB AM 1520, WGR Sportsradio 550, bisons.com
TODAY'S GAME: This evening, the Bisons take on the Rochester Red Wings in the final game of a three-game set from Coca-Cola Field (7:35 p.m.). The Herd rallied yesterday in the ninth inning for a 4-3 win to earn their second consecutive walk-off victory. After this series, the Bisons host Pawtucket for six-game in five-day series that starts with a doubleheader on Saturday.
COPYBATS: The Bisons did not gain any ground in the IL playoff race last night as Louisville won again. The Bats beat Syracuse, 6-2. The Bisons trail Louisville by three games in the IL Wild Card Race.
RED HOT HERD: The Bisons have won 15 of their last 18 games for a .833 winning percentage since July 30. The Herd has also won 12 of its last 13 games at Coca-Cola Field, including six straight going into tonight's game. Buffalo is now 11 games above .500 for the first time since August 27, 2007 (73-62).
THRUWAY CUP: The Bisons are 8-5 against the Red Wings this season, including a 4-3 mark at home. Buffalo is now 13-12 in the Thruway Series, 4.5 games behind Syracuse (17-7) and six ahead of Rochester (7-18). There are 11 Thruway Series games left in 2010, with the Bisons playing in seven of them.
DRAMA: Yesterday's victory was Buffalo's 11th walk-off win and 31st comeback win of the season. It was also the second time the Herd has walked off in back-to-back games this season. The Bisons beat Gwinnett on July 16 on a OF JESUS FELICIANO RBI-single in the 11th and defeated the Braves again on July 17 in the ninth on a OF JORGE PADILLA sacrifice fly.
THAT'S A RELIEF: The Bisons' bullpen has been phenomenal in the month of August. In 54.2 innings of work, the relievers are 4-0 with three saves, 54 strikeouts and a 1.65ERA. In 12 appearances, LHP MIKE O'CONNOR has thrown 12.0 innings with a 1.50ERA, a win, and 15Ks in August. In seven appearances, RHP JOSE DE LA TORRE has tossed 10.2 innings and posted two wins, a 0.84ERA and a .111 opponent batting average this month.
TGIF: Tonight is Buffalo's final fridaynightbash! of the season. The Herd is undefeated (8-0) on Friday nights at Coca-Cola Field in 2010, outscoring their opponents, 71-35. The Bisons were only 4-9 last year on Fridays at home.
METS UPDATE: The Mets (60-61) lost in Houston, 3-2, last night. Former Bisons LHP PAT MISCH allowed three runs in six plus innings of work in the loss. The Mets are still 8.5 games behind the Phillies in the NL Wild Card race. New York will travel to Pittsburgh to play the first of three against the Pirates tonight at 7:05 p.m.
Follow the Herd:
Listen to the Game:CLICK HERE!
Bisons Baseball Network: CLICK HERE!
Broadcast Team email: CLICK HERE!
Everything about the Herd: CLICK HERE!
Get to a Game: CLICK HERE!


text:
Search For Books - By Author, Title Or Keyword
1913: The Year Before the Storm (Paperback)
An International Bestseller
"An absolute gem of a book." —The Observer
Just before one of its darkest moments came the twentieth century's most exciting year . . .
It was the year Henry Ford first put a conveyer belt in his car factory, and the year Louis Armstrong first picked up a trumpet. It was the year Charlie Chaplin signed his first movie contract, and Coco Chanel and Prada opened their first dress shops. It was the year Proust began his opus, Stravinsky wrote The Rite of Spring, and the first Armory Show in New York introduced the world to Picasso and the world of abstract art. It was the year the recreational drug now known as ecstasy was invented.
It was 1913, the year before the world plunged into the catastrophic darkness of World War I.
In a witty yet moving narrative that progresses month by month through the year, and is interspersed with numerous photos and documentary artifacts (such as Kafka's love letters), Florian Illies ignores the conventions of the stodgy tome so common in "one year" histories. Forefronting cultural matters as much as politics, he delivers a charming and riveting tale of a world full of hope and unlimited possibility, peopled with amazing characters and radical politics, bristling with new art and new technology . . . even as ominous storm clouds began to gather.
About the Author
Florian Illies is a German journalist who has worked for major European newspapers and magazines and cofounded the art magazine Monopol. He is the author of four previous bestselling books, which have sold more than 1 million copies. 1913 is his first book to be translated into English.
Shaun Whiteside's translations include Nietzsche's The Birth of Tragedy and Robert Musil's The Confusions of Young Törless. Jamie Lee Searle's recent translations include works by Ursula Poznanski, Frank Schatzing, and Dora Heldt.
Praise For…
Praise for 1913
"A vivid, richly textured book that chronicles a world crackling with talent, energy and foreboding. The pace and scale of activity is at times breathtaking . . . Illies' talent is to weave all this together in a way that keeps the reader with him." —The Financial Times
"An utterly delicious treat or an ideal present for anyone even mildly interested in 20th-century art, music and literature....a sexy, comic and occasionally heartbreaking soap opera.... an irresistible book, excellently translated and packed with factoids and surprising encounters."
—Michael Dirda, The Washington Post
"Illies's stylish evocation of 1913 is thrilling entertainment for those who have heard it all before but wish to experience—one more time, perhaps—the bleary-eyed ecstasy that is the result of staying up all night reading a book in one sitting."
—The Weekly Standard
"Already an international bestseller, German author Florian Illies's 1913: The Year Before the Storm is an absolute gem of a book. His snapshot approach to the year, recorded month by month, is the most original historical account I've come across . . . Illies' genius turn of phrase, beautifully retained by Shaun Whiteside and Jamie Lee Searle's elegant translation, can be found throughout . . . The entries read like history's footnotes, but as anyone who's read Freud knows, the footnotes always tell the best story." —Lucy Scholes, The Observer
"An entertaining and illuminating study." —Shirley Whiteside, The Independent
"A hugely enjoyable idiosyncratic month-by-month narrative, in which the frenzy of artistic activity in London, Paris, Vienna, Berlin, and Trieste is conveyed with vigour and humour." —Juliet Nicolson, The Daily Telegraph
"This highly entertaining month-by-month account of 1913 . . . is rich in detail, humour and vivid pen portraits . . . 1913 is the best possible holiday read—or gift—as it is so enjoyable, yet the breadth of information and astute insight will prevent one feeling guilty of indulgence." —Eileen Battersby, The Irish Times
"Illies is as astute a researcher as he is an observer of the zeitgeist . . . Reads like something out of a magic realist novel." —The Guardian
"The rich range of subjects, the vibrancy of the writing, here translated by Whiteside and Searle, and the intimate details of the biographies all make this a fast-paced and engrossing read… Highly recommended."
—Library Journal, STARRED REVIEW
"A fascinating new structure of writing... With exceptional wit and understanding, Illies shows the societal and cultural changes propelling man toward modern art, new thought processes and war."—Kirkus, STARRED REVIEW
"Illies shapes his material not as a scholar, but as a wordsmith, as a story-teller with a strong sense for dramatic effect and composition . . . The most enjoyable book I've read in years." —Die Welt


text:
Special Populations/Special Needs - Web Resources
- Professional Organizations
- Government Agencies
- Disability and Special Education Resources
- Assistive Technology
- Workforce Development
- Universal Design
- Behavior
Association of Higher Education and Disability
Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD)
8181 Professional Place, Suite 201 Landover, MD 20785
Phone:(301) 306-7070 Fax:(301) 306-7090
Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) is a national non-profit organization representing children and adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder.
The Council for Exceptional Children (CEC)
1920 Association Drive
Reston, VA 20191-1589
(888) 232-7733
The CEC is the largest international professional organization dedicated to improving educational outcomes for individuals with exceptionalities, students with disabilities, and/or the gifted. The CEC advocates for appropriate governmental policies, sets professional standards, provides continual professional development, advocates for newly and historically underserved individuals with exceptionalities, and helps professionals obtain conditions and resources necessary for effective professional practice.
The Learning Disabilities Association (LDA)
4156Library Road, Pittsburgh, PA 15234-1349
(412) 341-1515
LDA is a national nonprofit, volunteer organization providing information specific to individuals with learning disabilities, their families, and professionals. The organization provides such services as advocacy, education, and research.
Disability Access, Information and Support
AIS is a resource to the higher education and postsecondary education community, providing a menu of services for those concerned with disability and access to postsecondary education. This website contains publications on postsecondary issues, professional development, resource documents, technical assistance, links to other resources, consulting services, and a professional discussion bulletin board.
ERIC Clearinghouse on Disabilities and Gifted Education
The Council for Exceptional Children (CEC)
1110 N. Glebe Rd., Arlington, VA 22201-5704
ERIC gathers and disseminates the professional literature, information, and resources on the education and development of individuals of all ages who have disabilities and/or who are gifted.
LD Online (Learning Disabilities)
LD Online is an interactive website and guide to learning disabilities for parents, teachers, and children. The site highlights new information in the field of learning disabilities, basic concepts of LD and ADD, audio clips from learning disability experts like Richard Lavoie, Bob Brooks, and Sally Smith, and a Bulletin Board and LD Chat that gives parents, teachers, and students a chance to share their experiences and ideas.
The Center for Parent Information and Resources (CPIR)
35 Halsey St., Fourth Floor, Newark, NJ 07102
Debra Jennings | project director firstname.lastname@example.com
The Center for Parent Information and Resources (CPIR) serves as a central resource of information and products to the community of Parent Training Information (PTI) Centers and the Community Parent Resource Centers (CPRCs), so that they can focus their efforts on serving families of children with disabilities. Much of the rich library of materials and publications that NICHCY produced over the years is located here.
National Institute on Disability, Independent Living and Rehabilitation Research (NIDILRR)
Administration for Community Living
330 C St SW, Washington, DC 20201
(202) 401-4634
NIDILRR is a federal government grants-making agency that sponsors grantees to generate new disability and rehabilitation knowledge and promote its use and adoption. Promoting the use and adoption of new disability and rehabilitation knowledge by various stakeholders helps people with disabilities in the following ways:
- It improves their ability to perform activities of their choice in the community
- It expands society's capacity to provide full opportunities and accommodations for its citizens with disabilities
PARAQUAD, Inc. – Independence for People with Disabilitieswww.paraquad.org
311 North Lindbergh
St. Louis, MO 63141
Phone: (314) 567-1558 Fax: (314) 567-1559 TDD: (314) 567-5552
PARAQUAD, Inc. is an independent living center committed to empowering people with disabilities to live as full and productive members of society. This site provides access to a number of programs, services, and products available through this organization.
Retail Savings Guide for People with Disabilities
They've provided research on special offers and discounts available to senior citizens, women, and veterans, in their series of guides to help you find ways to save money. In this guide,you can look at ways those with disabilities can stretch their dollars.
As with their other guides, the purpose here is not to portray anyone as "less than" or "needing special help." For them, the bottom line is "If you can save money, why not do it?"
Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services (OSERS)
OSERS supports programs that assist in educating children with special needs, provides for the rehabilitation of youth and adults with disabilities and supports research to improve the lives of individuals with disabilities.
Oklahoma Commission on Children and Youth
The Oklahoma Commission on Children and Youth strives to identify and meet the needs of children, youth, and families in the state of Oklahoma. This website contains information about the initiatives of the OCCY, resources available, and links to other web resources, including OASIS which provides information, referrals, and one-on-one assistance in locating available services for people with disabilities, chronic health conditions, or general health-care needs.
Oklahoma State Department of Education
2500 North Lincoln Boulevard
Oklahoma City, OK 73105-4599
The Oklahoma State Department of Education's website provides information about current issues in education. Information about the Policies and Procedures for Special Education in Oklahoma can be located on this website.
U.S. Access Board
The U.S. Access Board is a federal agency committed to accessible design of electronic and information technology, communication systems, public rights-of-way, playgrounds, and transportation. This website provides information about achieving accessibility in these areas.
U.S. Department of Education
400 Maryland Avenue, SW
Washington, DC 20202-0498
The U.S. Department of Education's website offer a range and ever-growing collection of information about the Department, including information about initiatives and priorities, grant opportunities, offices of the Department, publications, and research and statistics. It also has many links to organizations supported by the Department.
The Department of Labor: Working in the 21st Century Workforce
This website provides information about the Office of the 21st Century Workforce, its mission, and career resources available to ensure that all American workers have as fulfilling and financially rewarding a career as they aspire to have and to make sure that no worker gets left behind in the limitless potential of the dynamic, global economy of the new millennium.
The Department of Labor: Office of Disability Employment Policy
The mission of ODEP is to bring a heightened and permanent long-term focus to the goal of increasing employment of persons with disabilities. This will be achieved through policy analysis, technical assistance, and development of best practices, as well as outreach, education, constituent services, and promoting ODEP's mission among employers..
Oklahoma ABLE Techhttp://okabletech.okstate.edu/
Oklahoma State University
1514 W. Hall of Fame, Stillwater, OK 74077
Voice/TDD: (800) 257-1705
Wellness Center Voice: (405) 744-9748
Fax: (405) 744-7670
The Oklahoma ABLE Tech project is funded under the Assistive Technology Act of 1998. The project provides information and referral to individuals with disabilities, their family members, guardians, advocates, authorized representatives and others regarding assistive technology devices and services, funding of assistive technology and other disability-related topics.
This site has many links to resources, news, statistics, and accessibility aids for computers.
- National Center for Accessible Media (NCAM)
WGBH Educational Foundation
125 Western Avenue, Boston, MA 02134
Voice: (617) 300-3400 Fax: (617) 300-1035
The National Center for Accessible Media (NCAM) is a research and development facility that works to make media accessible to underserved populations such as people with disabilities, individuals with limited English proficiency, and people with low literacy skills. NCAM strives to make media more accessible in schools, the workplace, the home and the community. NCAM is designing access into emerging telecommunications such as Advanced Television and the World Wide Web.
NANOPAC provides products and services to individuals with disabilities for assistive technology, environmental controls, voice activation, speech synthesis, text to speech, switches and switch mounts, magnifiers, reading machines, door openers and much, much more. They also provide technical assistance to determine assistive technology needs and offer a demonstration center for testing and trying out specific devices.
National Collaborative on Workforce and Disability for Youth
The NCWD/Youth is one of two technical assistance centers funded by the U.S. Department of Labor to assist the workforce development community in addressing issues affecting the employment of people with disabilities. This site contains useful information and resources for youth with disabilities and their families, service providers and other front line workers, administrators, policy makers, and employers.
Job Accommodation Network
West Virginia University, PO Box 6080 Morgantown, WV 26506-6080
(800) 526-7234
The Job Accommodation Network is an international toll-free consulting service that provides information about job accommodations and the employability of people with disabilities. JAN also provides information about the Americans with Disabilities Act. This site provides information about disability resources, employment resources, disability legislation, web tools, related websites, and other resources.
Searchable Online Accommodation Resource (SOAR)
SOAR is a web-based service of the President's Committee on Employment of People with Disabilities Job Accommodation Network (JAN). The program is designed to allow users to explore various accommodation options for people with disabilities in the work setting. It takes the user through a step-by-step process, beginning with the identification of the disability and the functional limitations of the individual needed an accommodation. Then it points the user to recommended accommodations, as well as examples of accommodations that other employers have made. If equipment is recommended, the program will also provide a list of potential vendors for the equipment.
Employment Assistance Referral Network
The U.S. Department of Labor's Office of Disability Employment Policy has implemented a free nationwide employer service to increase the representation of people with disabilities in the workforce. The Employer Assistance Referral Network (EARN) became available to the public March 1, 2001 and is designed to assist employers in locating and recruiting qualified workers with disabilities.
Web Accessibility Initiative
The WAI, in coordination with organizations around the world, pursues accessibility of the web through five primary areas of work: technology, guidelines, tools, education and outreach, and research and development. This website provides information, resources and tools for accomplishing these goals.
Youth Change
275 N. Third St. Woodburn, Oregon 97071-4705
1-800-545-5736 Fax: (503)982-7910
Youth Change has been training youth professionals throughout North America for nearly twelve years. They provide information-packed general session, on-site and taped workshops. They also publish many books and tapes, all designed to deliver the newest and fastest solutions for the "worst" kid problems.


text:
posted by Jack Saturday at
Post a Comment
<< Home
Come by to Jack Saturday once a week for some bracing anti-wage-slavery quotations, it'll be nice to have you over to the place. I'll be including some of the wake of my personal journey through freedom from the job in this third emancipatory phase of history, the phase of liberation of wage-slaves through a Guaranteed Livable Income.
Come to Extraordinary Discourse for my podcast, wider ranging. It would be a joy to spend an hour a week with you.
View my complete profile


text:
Frisky Navy Removable Wallpaper
**The accurate lead time is approximately 2-3 weeks**
Designed by Olivia Wendel
Our wallpaper is easy to install and de-install. Just peel and press. It's like a big sticker!
This poly fabric wallpaper is environmentally safe and bio-degradable over time. No PVC and nontoxic.
And it will adhere to virtually any painted surface!
Not recommended for brick, non-painted cement surfaces, or heavy painted spackled wall board. Make sure you allow 40-days on newly painted surfaces for out-gassing, otherwise bubbles may develop.
Sorry, no returns. Please purchase a sample if you're on the fence!
If you order wallpaper after purchasing a sample, we will credit you $5.
For custom colors, sizes or patterns, please contact email@example.com


text:
Don't Have an Account? Sign Up to Save Favorite Listings, Save Searches & More...
Panoramic Views of the Guemes Channel, knows for it's dynamic boating activity with commercial marine, pleasure boats heading out to the San Juan Islands and the Washington State Ferries. This large level lot is nestled between the beautiful San Juan Passage and Channel Landing communities in a small 3 home development, Channel Crossing. Just steps to the treasured Guemes Channel Trail this lot is perfectly located to take full advantage of all Fidalgo Island offers. Bring your plans & builder.
Get your free home valuation here.
All listings featuring the icon are provided courtesy of the Northwest Multiple Listing Service (NWMLS), Copyright 2020. All rights reserved. The database information herein is provided from and copyrighted by the Northwest Multiple Listing Service (NWMLS). NWMLS data may not be reproduced or redistributed and is only for people viewing this site. All information provided is deemed reliable but is not guaranteed and should be independently verified. The information contained in these listings has not been verified by The Cascade Team Real Estate and should be verified by the buyer. All properties are subject to prior sale or withdrawal. All rights are reserved by copyright. Property locations as displayed on any map are best approximations only and exact locations should be independently verified.
Listing information last updated on September 20th, 2020 at 5:05pm PDT.


text:
WMS view service - WGS84 graticule
|Product information
|WMS view service - WGS84 graticule
|Commercial code
|Commercial code is not defined.
|Export unit
|No export unit defined.
|Unit price
|No export unit defined.
|Product description
|WMS-GEOGRSIT-P view service is provided as a public view service for the WGS84 Graticule vector data. It serves above all for orientation in the network of WGS84 datum meridians and parallels and for approximate derivation of coordinates in the map background that is displayed together with data of this service by the user. The service fulfils Technical guidance for INSPIRE view services v. 3.11 and simultaneously fulfils the OGC WMS 1.1.1 and 1.3.0 standards.
|Service characteristics
|Download document service characteristics
|Service location
|Access restriction - licence agreement and other restriction
|Terms of use see Terms of trade
|Service view with the public client
|Run the service
|Czech Office for Surveying, Mapping and Cadastre, Srovnal Pavel, Mgr. , phone: +420 284 041 860 , e-mail: email@example.com
Product last update:
Information last update:


text:
|Olive Oil Ice Cream
I know what you're all thinking…Olive Oil Ice Cream??? Yuck! Well, that was what my husbands said when I told him what was up for this weeks FFWD. I told him, trust Dorie; rarely does she not come through!
Actually, I was looking forward to this one. I think I even gave it a thumbs up for nomination! I'm always curious with new food combinations! I love trying new things and can tell you all, this did not disappoint! I could barely taste the olive oil, as it was very subtle! It was very custardy and rich! Are you wondering what my husband thought? He loved it, called it a winner! Would I make it again? You bet!
This recipe calls for milk, heavy cream, egg yolks, sugar, vanilla and of course olive oil! You cook it as you would any custard based ice cream. Separate your egg yolks; putting them in a bowl and setting them aside. Bring the cream and milk to a boil. Then pour about a ⅓ of the milk mixture into the eggs, very slowly. This tempers the eggs so that they won't cook. Once the eggs are acclimated to the heat you can stir the rest of the mixture into the eggs quickly. Now, return the mixture to the pan and heat until it coats the back of a spoon. When this is done strain the mixture into a clean bowl. At the end you beat in the olive oil and vanilla. Chill this mixture for at least 2 hours before putting it into your ice cream maker. That's it!! Freeze and enjoy!
It was worth the extra time and I can't wait to serve it with a hot cobbler or berry pie. For now, it was quite lovely with just some sweetened berries on top!
Happy Friday everyone!!
You can find this recipe in Dorie Greenspans cookbook "Around My French Table" and it has been
posted here!
|Pouring the cold mixture into the ice cream maker
|The ice cream maker at work….
|After about 20 minutes…ready to put into a container and freeze
|This was custardy and rich
|Oh so good with berries….A Good Thing!


text:
What a wonderful Christmas we had! The entire month of December was filled with merry times and great memories with friends and family. I must say the month kicked off with quite a great way to get in the Holiday Spirit by making Stockings over at Shea's house! It was such a wonderful night, and with her reminding me to be patient the entire time, the stockings came out so good. You should check out her stocking post if you want a step by step tutorial. Seriously, make your own next year. I have such special memories making them and love that they came out so professional, and knowing that I have them for years to come is amazing!
We got our first tree, which was beautiful all month and I enjoyed sitting by it sipping tea every morning.
A friend and I went to the Grove where it 'snows' every evening in December, and it was everything I wanted! It was so much fun and I finished up my Christmas shopping.
A few friends and I also went on a lovely Christmas light walk in the canals down in Long Beach. Wow. Amazingly beautiful houses with awesome decorations.
George got his Christmas gift early! He loves it and now I don't feel terrible about leaving him outside all day with no shelter.
We had committed to both having Christmas Eve with B's family (12 people) and Christmas Day with my family (9 people) so we had a lot to prepare! I did all the cleaning and setting up and B did ALL the cooking. I am not much of help when he's on a cooking mission and since he cooks for 16 guys at his station, I knew he could handle it and I tried to stay out of the kitchen to not annoy him. Both evenings turned out wonderful and we truly enjoyed having everyone at our house, though prep was pretty stressful! We are so grateful to have such amazing families who were open to creating new memories in our new home.
We left for the mountains the day after Christmas with some friends and it was a great time of relaxation and hanging out, and now I need to detox all this holiday cheer! We got back and have been cleaning and trying to get back into the normal routine. B went back to work today and we took down our Christmas tree. :( but I did get this lovely idea off Pintrest and made B run out to the curb before they took it away to saw off a little piece that I can now remember always!
We both got ROAD BIKES for Christmas! I still can't believe it and can't wait to start using it! It's beautiful black and red and I will post lots more pictures of it, right now it's still over at B's parents house because we haven't been home much but I am looking forward to riding around town on it soon. I also got two new pair of Toms and a Michael Kors watch that I was eying as well. Such a fun and exciting time opening gifts!
What a fun first Christmas we shared together. Here's to many more together!


text:
Dideir Surname Ancestry Results
Our indexes 1000-1999 include entries for the spelling 'dideir'. In the period you have requested, we have the following 1 record (displaying 1 to 1):
Try these...
d'idiacques d'idiaquez diddep didder diddesbiri diddesbiry diddesbury diddimus didding diddins diddip diddisbyry diddle diddlebury diddlesford diddon didds diddton diddum diddy dide didebrok didel didemetrio diden didenham didenko dideret dideridge diderot dides didesbyri didesbyry dideswrth' didgberry didham didicot didier didier-garnham didier-st
These sample scans are from the original record. You will get scans of the full pages or articles where the surname you searched for has been found.
Your web browser may prevent the sample windows from opening; in this case please change your browser settings to allow pop-up windows from this site.
Research your ancestry, family history, genealogy and one-name study by direct access to original records and archives indexed by surname.


text:
Business Gets Social With Community-Building StrategiesBy Michael S. Kenny and Will Yen Print
Here's how to build a successful social media strategy and architecture.
Social Media has created a customer-interaction paradigm shift from a "one-to-many" broadcast model to a "many-to-many," necessitating a change in how organizations interact and communicate across their value chain: employees, customers, partners and suppliers. The rapid adoption of social media and social networking—and the increasing demand for more customer interaction—is compelling many organizations to develop a well-thought-out social media strategy and presence that's consistent with the organization's strategic objectives, culture and values.
Organizations still need to plan and develop corporate marketing and product strategies, but with the advent of the social media groundswell, they should incorporate a community-building component into these strategies in order to adapt to the change in how customers, partners, suppliers and competitors are interacting.
Even traditional companies like Coca-Cola and Whole Foods can be found on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter or similar social networking sites. Rather than remaining the sole source of information for customers, organizations are now simply part of a broader public customer conversation. However, formulating a strategy and designing a presence to interact with customers and facilitate customer conversations is a challenging task for most organizations, one that involves both business decision-makers and the IT organization.
The Lay of the Land
Today's social media ecosystem is characterized by multiple niches and players in an open environment—offering organizations a multitude of platform and product choices. In formulating an effective strategy, organizations must consider all media forms and presences, while also defining how they want customer interaction to take place. Starting small, thinking big and scaling quickly are the keys to success for organizations that are beginning to test the social media waters.
In recent client discussions, we found that the majority of business benefits fall into three categories: customer support, sales and marketing, and innovation and collaboration.
Building externally facing online communities has proved successful in decreasing the overall cost of customer support and relationship management. For example, according to "The Linksys ROI Story: Support Community Delivers Significant Savings from Call Deflection," from Lithium Technologies: "Linksys sees cost savings in the form of call deflections, and was able to increase the number of indirect call deflections to 120,000 cases per month by building out an online community for engaging with customers. This led to an overall decrease in customer support costs. By creating and nurturing an online customer community, Linksys has empowered its customer base to solve product issues within that community."
It is clear that empowered customers will have superior knowledge of a company's products or services—a key element of increased customer satisfaction.
Coca-Cola and Zappos.com are also excellent examples of companies that are leveraging the power of social media. On Facebook, Coke fans can create content to profess their love of the iconic soft drink. Coke boasts more than 34 million fans on the social networking site and has launched some popular Facebook applications.
And Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh connects with both employees and customers on Twitter, making it easy to elicit feedback in real time and collect customer profile information. This generates a database of potential customers—thereby driving revenue and increasing market share.
By creating environments in which both internal and external customers, experts and employees can interact, companies are realizing the benefits of collaboration. In some cases, this includes feedback into their product-development life cycles.
Internal collaboration can be facilitated and nurtured within the community, and social media platforms provide some of the key technologies to enable this collaboration in the form of blogs, wikis and chat. According to a case study conducted by Jive Software ("VMware's VMworld.com: The Global Destination for Virtualization"), after implementation of VMworld.com, a collaborative conference community, VMware was able to "see in real time the hot areas in the virtualization community, the trends and top-of-mind concerns, and leverage these insights in product direction and messaging."
IT Solutions Builder TOP IT RESOURCES TO MOVE YOUR BUSINESS FORWARD
Which topic are you interested in?
Data Storage
IT Management
What is your company size?
What is your job title?
What is your job function?
Searching our resource database to find your matches...