text:
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Who got it?
Posted by Lynn at 11:21 2 comments
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Primary One
Posted by Lynn at 21:51 9 comments
He is coming home
So thinking of his arrival I decided to write a little letter about how we will tackle things now that he is home....
I KNOW what I need to do. I know we are aiming at getting to your house and me eventually moving in. It is what we both want and the sooner it happens, the better. But I won't be pressured. I have noticed that I do much better when I do things on MY terms! When I feel relaxed and comfortable I can do more in the car, I feel brave enough to push it a little. But when we go driving and end up fighting it just makes it seem impossible. Then it has a knock on effect and after a bad drive I feel crappy and then it takes away a bit of my confidence.
While you have been away my drives have been ok. Although there hasn't been anyone around with a car all the time I have made the most of when I have seen Angela or when I went my drive with Karen. I know I still need to do it more often and I appreciate you always offering to take me. My walks have been getting further and i have been enjoying them. I have felt braver and walked down streets or along roads that I always avoided. I felt really proud of myself and my confidence took a little boost again. I have massive hopes for us and I see this summer being a great time for us where I achieve much more but i think i need you to stop going on as much.
Please don't take it as a moan because I know you only want the best for me but I hate that whenever we speak you ask 'where have you been', 'Have you been out', 'Have you been out in the car', 'Have you been any further'. Remember Karen said months ago that that isn't a healthy relationship. Where I walk or drive shouldn't be all that we are about. I know you must find it really hard and really frustrating, you have been so patient with me and I really do appreciate it, but I hope you can understand. I have so much I need to work on Gerry. Not just driving in a straight line from my house to your house. I have started with small walks but over the last few months I have visited friend's houses, been to the pub, gone to the shops, the dentist, gone for food. This all might seem small to you but these were massive achievements for me. My confidence will build as I do more and more and soon those things will seem small to me too, but you need to understand that there is A LOT I need to work on.
I really do hope you can handle it, because i think that at the end of all of this we could have a fantastic future together. I am hoping that this letter will let you see that I am prepared to do the work that is needed and I hope you can support me and be here for me but maybe not force things on me so much. You don't need to put pressure on me or force me to do things... because I will do those things anyway, but will do it in a much better frame of mind if it is done my way. I hope that doesn't sound too selfish.
Posted by Lynn at 17:29 1 comments
Monday, 23 February 2009
Getting to know you
I recently read this 'Getting to know you' section on Diver's blog. I enjoyed reading it and decided to give it a go myself.
1 ... If you could have any superhero power what would you choose?
The ability to teleport. No more walks and drive... Your just THERE
2 ... If you could relive one moment in your past, which one would you choose?
Any of the times before agoraphobia, to be free. To be far from home without a care in the world.
3 ... What is your favorite movie?
I can't choose just one. Loving Slum Dog Millionaire, Trainspotting, Leaving Las Vegas, City of God
4 ... What is your favorite comfort food?
MMmm Anything stodgy. Oh and pringles, and dip. And McDonalds and generally anything that is unhealthy as i try to avoid it usually
5 ... What is the first thing you notice when you meet someone?
Prob their character. If they are friendly or not. I usually know instinctively whether i will get on with them or not.
6 ... Something you find fascinating?
People. Life. Artists.
7 ... What is something you are passionate about?
Family, extremely so
8 ... How did you come up with your blog title?
It is pretty self explanitory
9 ... If you won the lottery, how would you spend it?
Oh im boring. Id clear all debts and take care of myself and my family. And buy a lovely home and a car.
10 ... What do you like about the opposite sex? Or what attracts you to someone?
Im 5' 10' so i would prefer someone taller than me. I like dark hair and eyes. I have to admit i quite like tattoos on men...but not too many. Cleanliness lol, someone who knows how to dress well. Patience and someone who can make me laugh. (am i asking too much haha)
11 ... What do you know for sure?
That I need the loo... brb
A - Z Meme
Attached or Single? Attached
Best Friend? Angela
Cake or Pie? Cake
Day of Choice? Friday
Essential Item? Hmmm Its a toss up between my laptop or my mobile phone
Favorite Color? Aqua
Gummy Bears or Worms? Ill opt for the bears as i dont know what the worms are
Hometown? Is where i live
Indulgence? Shopping. No item in particular. I seem to enjoy spending money that I dont have
January or July? July. Summertime :)
Kids? I am surrounded by them constantly but none of my own... yet
Life Isn't Complete Without? Love
Marriage Date? 2010 or 2011
Number of Magazine Subscriptions? One.. and only subscribed cos i wanted the free gift.
Orange or Apple? Either
Phobia(s)? Agoraphobia of course. Fears.. elevators, heights, flying.
My cat's breath smells like cat food - Ralph Wiggum
Reasons to Smile? My nephews.
Season of Choice? Summer. Bliss
Tag Two ... Graham and Marie
Unknown Fact About Me? I have a really bad tattoo on my ankle. A Mistake from when i was 17. It is meant to be a fairy but it is awful and the poor little thing doesnt even have a face.
Vegetable? Carrot.
Worst Habit? Smoking.
X-Ray or Ultrasound? That would involve going to a hospital so i will pass
Your Favorite Food(s)? Pasta, Pizza, Cereal (i live on the stuff)
Zodiac Sign? Capricorn
Posted by Lynn at 23:48 1 comments
Sunday, 22 February 2009
Hmmm Not too sure...
Not too sure about this layout. You people reading it are most important so let me know. Should i change it back. I get so bored of the same page but this seems a little... strange to me. Thoughts?
Posted by Lynn at 00:32 5 comments
Saturday, 21 February 2009
Be Positive
The last few time's I have written it has been about the dentist or my walks, I feel as though I have missed somethings out.
I have been receiving emails and comments on you tube and, to be honest, i have been shocked. I still find it completely mad that people say I 'inspire' them. People seems to find me brave, but there at times when that's the last thing I feel.
For example. before Gerry left for Canada he decided he wanted us to go a drive. He parked up outside my house and beeped the horn. He then called me and told me to hurry. I had just eaten dinner and was seeing to the kids, I was in the middle of things, and so i felt totally rushed. I did ask him to come in but he refused saying he was sick of sitting in my house. So to avoid a fight I ran out as quickly as i could. The whole drive felt totally sprung on me and I didn't feel mentally prepared. Out in the car I had lost the comfort that I had found in previous weeks. The only word I can use to describe it was 'exposed'. Everything around me felt too much and all that surrounded me was this small tin, i.e, the car. I told myself to relax, that it would pass and the comfort would soon set in. Unfortunately it didn't pass and i suddenly felt sick. My stomach was in knots and i really thought that I would throw up. I had to ask him to pull over. Nausea was never a symptom of my panic attacks in the past so this was new to me, although I didn't actually have a panic attack..or come close, the nausea wasn't too pleasant. It was enough to put me off the drive and ask him to take me home. As you can imagine, Gerry was less than impressed and told me I was making 'just another excuse'. He didn't come in but instead drove off as he had 'things to do'. When I got home the nausea continued but eventually faded. I still don't know if this was down to the drive or perhaps it was completely unrelated.
So it is at times like this when I don't feel brave. I feel a whole mix of emotion from anger to frustration and total hopelessness. It is easy to let times like that pull you down, but lately I have learned not to let this happen. I know that I might have a bad time in the car one day and the next day feel totally great and even go further than I had previously. I guess it is all in how we approach it, at least that's what I think it is.
For example, the night after the failed drive with Gerry my nephew's were over. It had gotten dark when they were due to go home so instead of them walking like they usually would, Gerry said he would drive them. Immediately I said I wanted to go too. So we piled into the car and drove over to my brothers house. I then popped into my brothers to say a quick hello while Gerry waited in the car. Then when I got back out we went a little drive on our own where I told him to go further. The reason for this was simply that the drive was MY choice! Someone making demands of me or telling me when I have to do something doesn't work. Time and time again this has been proven by Gerry and I. When he tells me what to do and where to go it usually ends up in a fight. But when it is my choice and he also has the correct attitude it goes really well.
Also this week my walks have gotten even longer. I have walked along streets that I haven't faced in about 3 years. It is totally true that the more you work on this the more your confidence builds. As I walked those streets I generally felt fine, the problem is that your head constantly asks you 'how do you feel'. 'Why aren't you panicking'? We have spent so long being agoraphobics that we no longer trust ourselves. Few of you may remember that I wrote about going to my local shops on my bike. I hadn't been in so long and when I finally made it I was so proud of myself, I wrote about it in a post and put up a photo. I now regularly make the trip to the shop but still did so relying on my bike. Even If i didn't ride my bike, I would walk along pushing it. Classic safety behaviour! My mind was telling me that I was more comfortable with the bike, less likely to panic and if the worst thing happened and I DID panic.... i could get home quickly to my safe place. This week though I was out on my walk and I was so close to the shops. I got closer on my next walk and then closer still. Finally on Wednesday I was the closest I have ever been. I stood there looking at the buildings and asked myself to push it further. My head said 'No'. My head told me that If I took those extra steps that I would panic. It made me feel like me walking to the shops was completely unrealistic, funny even. But then this new thought came up. This new 'positive' way of thinking has only began to grow in strength as I walk each day. I looked at the building and I told myself... 'You feel perfectly calm right now so why aren't you trying it. If you are ever going to attempt to walk to those shops you will want to attempt it NOW when feeling GOOD and not in future when you may be anxious'. And so I walked. I made it, I stayed calm and I remained there for about 10 minutes.
I guess I have forgotten to praise myself for these things. My little achievements may seem so small to other people but when i look back on how I was, things have improved so much and it has been down to me. I guess I should be proud. So I continue to walk further and the drives are ok. I still don't get out as much as i would like, but on Friday I went to a shop further away, one I hadn't been in for many many years, and I made myself go in and buy something. Following that I picked Luke up from school. Gerry likes to focus on the distance I drive from my house, and heading in the direction of his place. That is his goal. Me moving in. But i have soooo many other mountains to climb as well. I need to feel comfortable in shops, walking from the car, keeping appointments, going to the dentist, going to parties... in fact I need to learn everything from scratch! If i don't do all these things and build my confidence I will basically move from once house and into Gerry's where i will be even MORE agoraphobic. There I will live in a new town, surrounded by streets and shops that aren't familiar to me. If i cannot be confident in my walking I will be trapped there... When Gerry goes to work i will have no one to drive me from A to B, and so i think I would feel like a prisoner. If I don't learn to use buses and taxi's again I wont be able to visit my parents or friends unless I have Gerry. I don't want to rely on anybody but myself... and so I will continue working on MY things at MY pace.
Marie, who most of you will know, asked me how I have managed to make all the changes that have been happening. At first I said it was nothing really, just something switched in me, but that's not true. When I really think about it, there are a lot of things I do these days that help me with getting out and about. I know this part will be repetitive but I will try and share whats getting me through.
- Keep a diary. Write what you have done each day, no matter how small. This way you will have a sense of achievement, order and also it is a useful way of looking back and seeing just how much you have improved.
- Exercise. Ok I know not everyone enjoys this, but I do think that old saying is true... A healthy body, A healthy mind.
- Listen to relaxation cd's as much as possible. I have mentioned many times that I listen to Paul McKenna daily.
- Get into a routine. This for me was my biggest battle but I would say THE answer to my on going recovery. I slept most of the day and was up most of the night. Your not gonna make great progress if your all sleepy and foggy. Now my day is completely structured and sticking to this agenda is keeping me going.
- Don't make huge unrealistic plans. Take baby steps. When I started all of this I walked to my Gate and back everyday. When I was ready I took it further, and if you have watched my video's you will see I can walk pretty far right now.
- Do things at YOUR pace. Don't let anybody dictate to you. I would say that perhaps medical professionals could be the exception here but i really don't think anyone knows the right pace for you to do this better than you do.
- My fight against agoraphobia didn't just start with walking, I have taken on other problems I had which seemed huge in the past. I would only bath during the day and I would never take pain killers (or any medication actually). Now i bath whenever I feel like it and I have relaxed with taking pills. So maybe you could look at facing some problems you have INDOORS before taking on the ones outside?
- Talk! Anytime you have things on your mind either write it down or talk to someone. I will never bottle anything up like i did in the past. I know its not healthy for me and only leaves me sitting about brooding.
- Make the most of the days where you are feeling good. A friend pointed out to me that he makes the most of his good days because when the bad days come and he is stuck indoors he doesn't want to think... I wish I had made the most of things when I felt better. Your only going to be frustrated with yourself for not fighting back.
- Whatever task you choice, be it walking to the edge of your street, do it over and over and over again. Daily if possible. I know people might worry that their neighbours will give them funnily looks but at the end of the day who cares. Your getting your life back and that's way more important than their opinions. Also you could maybe talk on your phone so it doesn't look so strange or if you have a dog take it along. Making myself walk everyday has definitely helped me in the long run. Also if i have a day when I am feeling anxious I will maybe go a much shorter walk but I still attempt it.
- Remember that there will be bad days and don't give up when they come. The good days always return.
- Positive mental attitude. Seems so cliche but absolutely works.
- Make a list to take out with you. If you get anxious and your head gets too messed up to think it is handy to have a list that You can read that has clear statements such as, this will pass. You are better than this. You are strong and will get through this.
Ok I think I am done... for now haha. I hope it doesn't sound patronising because i KNOW I am telling you things that you already know yourself. But i honestly thought in the past that I was THE worst agoraphobic ever! Everything seemed totally impossible and I really believed that I was beyond help. So to see the change in me I can be quite suprised at myself. The hardest thing is having the motivation to put it into practice. But for me my motivation came as the days passed and I stuck to my plan in getting back out there.
Anyway I think I have rambled for long enough tonight, I will mention that I have felt so silly for going on about the dentist being so easy that last time. I have been rather sore these last few days and have finally succumbed to pain relief. BUT... don't let that put anyone off. This is one of the best things I have done in year. I mean, I have lost 11 teeth!!!! If I had left it much longer i would be lucky to have any left so don't let it get that bad. When my work is all done I will post a picture of me with a huge smile to show the end result. You probably all think I'm quite gumsy now haha. Thankfully not, all the extractions were from the back but had i left it any longer I might not have been so lucky. So.. night folks xxx
Posted by Lynn at 22:51 3 comments
Thursday, 19 February 2009
For American Readers
I have been asked to pass this onto all the American readers on behalf of a casting agency...
Do you have a phobia that's holding you back from enjoying life? Are you looking for help? A major cable network is casting a show that will try and help women overcome their phobias. We're looking for women who have phobias that constrict their day-to-day life and want to take the next step in overcoming their fears.
The show will put female phobic's into a therapeutic environment to help them face their fears head on. Under the guidance of counselors and through the use of therapy the goal of the show is to help these women get their lives back on track. If you're a woman who's ready to eliminate your fear once and for all, this is the show for you!
Please email us with your name, age, contact information, picture, and phobia. Be sure to also include in your e-mail a brief description of how your phobia has prevented you from living life to its fullest and why you're ready to conquer it and finally move on.
Send your e-mails to: email@example.com.
Posted by Lynn at 19:45 0 comments
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
You Tube Update
I posted the links for my 2 Youtube video's yesterday but the second video had really bad sound quality. I have now fixed this and you can hear what Luke and I are saying.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqW0UiBrc_A (Part 1)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYRf60Ikfw0 (Part 2)
Posted by Lynn at 18:46 1 comments
Just back from the dentist again
Not long back from my latest dental appointment which i am talking about in the video. I forgot to mention what happened before i got the work done. I was left waiting for a full hour this time before i was even given the injection to numb my mouth. This time the numbness DID cause me to panic. I wasn't thrilled about my appointment today but I was no where near as nervous as I was the last time, so i was surprised about the panic.
Once given my injections i was told to go back into the waiting room. As i sat there and felt my face go numb i got more and more anxious. The problem was I felt like i couldnt breathe properly. I just felt like I couldnt get a full breath and before I knew it the thoughts came flooding in. I was imagining ambulances being called, me fainting etc. I think in the past this would have lead to a full blown ARRRGGHHH moment! That dreaded panic. But i told myself to stop. I tried to relax my body as I was way too uptight, and i slow took nice relaxing breaths through my nose. Thank goodness it passed quickly enough. I was fine after that.
Incase you cant see the video I had 4 or 5 teeth removed and 4 fillings. Need to actually have a look in my mouth and count!
Now I feel the worst is most certainly over with. The next appointment will be childsplay compaired to the 2 previous and FINALLY she will fit my ugly front tooth!
Gerry must be somewhere above the atlantic about now. I dont like the thought of him being so far away but i remind myself.... I have agoraphobia. Gerry Lives 10 minutes away....but it may as well be Canada cos i cant get their either lol. Ok i'm off to drink tea through a straw x
Posted by Lynn at 14:40 0 comments
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
Taz & Gerry and the week ahead
Posted by Lynn at 22:39 2 comments
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
The Christening & Relying On Others
(Me, Laura, Angela and Lynne. Old picture but one with the girls together)
It was the christening of my friend Laura's son on Sunday. Beautiful Korrie is about 6 months old now and since he was born Laura has been planning this day. Finally (very quickly) the baby weight is off and Laura was keen to get out, looking good and have a big celebration for her little boy. Before Christmas I mentioned this on a post and said that i would be attending the christening. This was something I was really looking forward to. Finally I would be spending time with friends in a new setting, i would get to share Laura and Korrie's day and also it would be a personal challenge against my agoraphobia. Being at the christening would prove to me how much better I am doing and it was something I was very keen to do.
Originally it was supposed to be Gerry & I going as a couple but unfortunately he had been asked to work, so instead I invited Angela along. On Saturday I had mixed feelings approaching the big day. I was both excited and nervous but decided to break the day into sections, as i had done with my dental visit the previous week. I would get up, see how i felt, get dressed and see how i felt and so on. I spent the Saturday evening at home organising myself. I got my new dress, New Shoes set out and ready to put on. Made sure my camera had enough battery, and the same with my mobile phone. I felt quite prepared and decided I better text Angela to make the final arrangements.
I tried texting a few times but I got no reply. Knowing Angela could be busy with other things I waited a few hours but still had no reply. Angela's parents were flying to Australia in the morning and it was decided that Angela would arrive at my house once she had dropped them off at the airport at around 10.30am. I guess I just wanted to make sure everything was going ahead as planned. I thought it was strange that Angela hadn't been in touch for the usual conversation between girls 'what are you going to wear'. So the feeling stayed with me, something wasn't right. I suddenly had a feeling in my gut that Angela wouldn't be going. Finally after midnight I got a text telling me that she would phone me when she dropped her parents off. I found this a bit strange. Why would she need to phone me when she drops them off when she should be heading straight over to my house? Hmmmm was i just being paranoid? Anyway the texts went back and forward with Angela being very vague until eventually I just asked her if she didn't want to go. Soon she told me that she wasn't looking forward to it. She didn't have anything to wear.
I went to bed and set my alarm anyway, hoping that in the morning it would all work out. I woke up at 8 and text Angela to make sure she had found an outfit but I got no reply. At this point I just felt completely depressed. I KNEW Angela wasn't coming. Gerry was working, my parents were away out. I had no way of getting to the christening. I don't know if i should have just got myself dressed but i didn't even bother. I didn't see the point. At 11am, 15 minutes before the ceremony began, Angela called me to say she would just go. She was dressed in her jeans but we could still make it. Should I have gone? Obviously I wasn't dressed and being a big day out for me, I had wanted to look my best. I would be seeing people I hadn't seen in years and wanted to make a good impression. 15 minutes to get myself dressed and to the church seemed unlikely to me and so I told Angela I wasn't going to bother. I will admit I did blame Angela.
I spent the rest of the day feeling down. As much as Angela not seeming that interested and me being left in the lurch was the main reasons for me not going, I felt as though I had failed. The day I had been looking forward to for months had come and I wasn't there like i promised I would be. I text Laura and explained but I was worried she would be thinking 'Oh well Lynn isn't coming just as i expected, Just as she never comes to anything', but it hurt because i REALLY wanted to be there.
Why didn't I get a taxi? Well simply because I am not 100% comfortable with using a taxi yet. I would be ok using a taxi in different situations but on this day I was taking on a challenge that would make me extremely nervous. I wanted a safe person. I wanted someone with me so that if the anxiety got too much I could simple say 'I have to go now'. With a taxi I couldn't do that. I would have to call a taxi, WAIT on the taxi, while feeling awful and it just didn't seem like the best idea. Also since the snow was particularly bad it is possible to wait for an hour on a car.
While on the road to recovery this is one of the most difficult things I face as an agoraphobic. Relying on other people. I fully understand that Angela wasn't that interested in the christening. Laura isn't a friend of hers. But even day to day i still need to rely on other people for certain things. To really work on my driving I need someone with a car to be available every day. It's just not realistic. Most of the time people are working during the day, and those who are available in the daytime don't drive. At the moment i probably get out for a drive once or twice a week, which makes the progress much slower than it would be if i could be out every day.
Then there are the days when someone IS available with a car and yet I don't want to ask them to take me a quick drive because you feel as though your putting them out. Who wants to drive around and around in a circle with me? Or the other example is that someone may pop over with a car and sit for a cup of tea then announce that they need to leave because they need to go to work, the gym, shopping etc.
I totally understand people have there own lives to lead, I am no ones responsibility but my own, and so I walk. But it is times like these when i feel like a prisoner again, and also I can feel like a child. Its like a need a babysitter to take me on an outing and its not something I enjoy. Unfortunately that's how it is at the moment. I am lucky that I at least have Gerry and my dad to take me out when they are available so I don't want to sound like i am complaining. I'm just explaining the difficulties we can face. What is the solution?
Then this problem snowballs and creates another issue. My drives with Gerry can be quite stressful, as you know. Everytime we go out in the car Gerry needs to see progress or i am met with a huff of breath or a roll of his eyes which make me more stressed and also pissed off to be honest. I explain to him that i need to drive in my safe zone over and over again to get 'comfortable'. If i was driving that loop everyday it would already be comfortable, but unfortunately since the gaps in between my drives can be quite long, it can take a while for my nerves to settle, even when im just driving in my 'safe zone'. I don't always feel comfrotable enough to 'push it' further. Sometimes i feel i am doing enough by just doing the drive at all.
I don't really see a solution other than paying a taxi driver everyday, which could become very expensive very quickly, or to start taking a bus. Like with the taxi, i dont relish the idea of standing outside of my comfort zone and waiting for my bus home to arrive. So in the mean time I will just have to keep taking drives when they are offered but more likely I will have to get over the embarrassment and just ask people to take me out more often. Ah dillema dillema.
Lastly, the dentist... thank you all so much for your messages. I still cant wait till my next appointment and the good news was the pain after the appointment was totally bearable. Of course it was a little sore but i never had to rely on pain releif. One bad point though is that one of the fillings has already come away slighty, so my ordeal seems a little tainted now ha. Im sure she can fix it when im back in a week. My walking is great, i have pushed it further and further and really enjoy it so i will continue this. Gerry is off to Canada on Wednesday for a week, i will miss him (and his car), but since he is a keen snowboarder im glad hes getting away to the snowy mountains to de-stress. Anyway thats all for now. Take care x
Posted by Lynn at 22:37 3 comments
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Walking Video & Agoraphobia Buddy
The above videos are pretty straight forward. It's just me out on my daily walk and at 4 points where I can push things further as i seem to cover a square area. I made the video's for my friend D but figured I would post them on here as they are easier to watch this way.
D and I have decided to team up in the fight to beat agoraphobia. Obviously I had already established a bit of a routine with my daily walks and drives but now D and I are going to do it together. Each night we both go online and we discuss our plan for the next day. Usually the goals are manageable and at the moment we focus on 'a street at a time'. We both leave the house at the same time each day and then after an hour or so outside we go on the phone and talk about how we got on.
It has actually worked out well so far as it gives you that extra push to make the effort. Today for example i was very tired. I had little sleep at all last night and I could have happily slept the day away, but with D in mind I forced myself out of bed, went to the shops and then went on my walk, pushing myself an extra couple of streets. It's nice to know someone is doing the same thing at the exact same time, going through the same emotions. I'm sure in future we will share frustrations and also successes and I look forward to hearing about D's progress. Obviously getting better is about me...and for me, but as I walk it does help to think... I'll do this for D. If possible I would recommend that you try this out. I'm sure you know someone else with agoraphobia who you speak to online or whatever... if not there is always D and I, we can start a team ha.
(Excuse the poor sound quality, i couldn't talk too loudly in case someone passed by and stuck a straight jacket on me ha i must have looked strange)
Posted by Lynn at 15:25 2 comments
Friday, 6 February 2009
Book Recommendations
Posted by Lynn at 00:18 10 comments
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
The Work Begins!
Today I had my dentist appointment. This time i was not so calm. I was terrified. I knew the work was beginning today but apart from that I had no idea what to expect. For some strange reason it was my face being numb that was causing me the most stress. I know why though, its about control isn't it, it always is. If i didn't like the numbness, I wouldn't be able to make it go away.... I would be stuck.
Never slept a wink. Got up early and my head was running through excuses why not to go. I tried to talk myself round, it wasn't really working. Again I hoped my friend wouldn't turn up, she did! My appointment was at 12.15 so as the time approached I left. I decided to break the appointment into steps. Firstly I would just get outside, and see how I felt. Then I would speak to the receptionist, and see how i felt. All the while I was ready to bolt. First sign of a panic attack and I was planning on jumping in the car an breaking the speed limit till I was back home. Gerry spoke to me before I left and said 'You can't spend your life running home'. With this in my mind I knew I had to do it.
Got there, spoke to receptionist and before I knew it i was giving my injection...S! Several! I was told to go back to the waiting room to let the numbness take over. I sat in the waiting room on my own and i was physically shaking at this point. I really wanted to leave. Didn't care what they said about it. But i stayed and waited...and waited...and waited!!! I think i was there for half an hour with my mind running riot. I decided when I went back in I would explain my nerves and ask the dentist if i could possibly just have one thing done.
Finally I was called and i explained my situation. I was basically told no, and the work began. I think it must have taken another half an hour in the chair, i had been hoping for 5 minutes. NO such luck. Finally I left and went home. The result.... the left side of my mouth now had SIX, YES SIX LESS TEETH and I had 4 fillings!
The procedure itself was fine. It was totally pain free and as my time in the chair passed I got more and more calm. Next appointment is in 2 weeks time to do the right side of my mouth and then finally the front, the front being the ones i want done soonest.
I am EXTREMELY proud today. I know many agoraphobics manage to visit the dentist but it was just never an option for me. Again i feel totally shocked that I managed it and now i just want my next appointment to hurry up because I am sooo looking forward to having all my teeth fixed.
The numbness has now gone and I plan a relaxing night in bed. I feel like I have been through the wars haha. I was told to expect some discomfort and I have that, but thankfully I have no real pain so far. I am so happy!!!
Posted by Lynn at 17:36 13 comments
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Something to make you laugh
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
Samsung Electronics Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller:'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
RAC Motoring Services Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
Directory Enquiries Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'. Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller:'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator:'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland'.
Tech Support:'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Tech Support:'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?
Tech Support:'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
. Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
(my dad would do that, he always asked me if i have email numbers, i think he means addresses. But hey we cant all be computer literate)
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'
Posted by Lynn at 00:16 0 comments
Monday, 2 February 2009
The Past week & Road Rage
I kept thinking about that post...why didn't i do it sooner? People always told me that you must WANT to get better and my reply was always 'i DO'. Looking back now i don't think I had the hunger that I have now. The ambition. My life was comfortable. It might not have been very exciting but it was safe and I was content. A combination of things has brought about my new way of thinking, my determination. I put it down to Gerry, my age (as i want to have freedom for my 30s which are fast approaching), my Paul McKenna download, the diary which i write in daily and my homeopathic medicine. I need to remind myself that this is the best I have ever done since i got agoraphobia. In the past I may have pushed the boundaries and ended up walking or perhaps going to the local pub to socialise, but I NEVER made appointments at the dentist, never went in a car and never really looked to the future. I knew i wanted to meet someone, move house and have kids, but when i imagined it, i couldn't really see it. Now though, when I think of those things, i can see it is very possible and this has given me my hunger. So I hope that I did not sound patronising. Of course we all wish we could be 'fixed' and get ourselves out there, but for a lot of years it just wasn't my time, i don't think it was my time. It took a lot of panic attacks, a lot of thinking and a lot of learning and acceptance to get where i am today.
Anyway..... the past week has been great. Yes the anxiety returned for a few hours, but It didn't escalate to full blown panic. I have been out in the car, out walking as per usual. On Saturday I went to the local church sale with my 2 nephews as you can see in the picture. My mum makes the most beautiful home made cards and sells them at events such as the one in the church, or in local community centres. As she has been struggling with her nerves lately, I said I would go as support. My nephews, like all kids, love to buy lots of old rubbish, so I knew they would enjoy a trip around the stalls. They bought old teddies, videos and bizarrely a fondue set (strange? melted chocolate and marshmallows mmm maybe not so strange). I then spent the rest of the day at home with them.
Scotland has a reputation for bad, cold weather. Although we do get rain a lot, surprisingly we have seen very little snow in the past few years. I remember one day of snow last year which didn't even settle on the ground but today within 10 minutes of starting the ground was beautiful white. I decided to take myself out for a walk which I really enjoyed. The place looks so much nicer in the snow.
Posted by Lynn at 14:12 2 comments


text:
The Central Connecticut women's basketball team has announced its 2013-14 schedule. The Blue Devils will play 10 non-conference games, before opening up Northeast Conference action on January 4, 2014.
The Blue Devils return 11 letter winners, including three starters, from last year's squad that earned the #5 seed in the NEC Tournament.
"I cannot wait for the 2013-14 season to start," head coach Beryl Piper said on Wednesday morning. "Northeast conference games are always a challenge as any team in the league can win on any night and I think our non-conference slate will really prepare us for the rigors of a long conference season. Every player and coach on this team is excited for the opportunity in front of us this season."
The season will tip-off on November 8 with a game at the University of Central Florida. Two days later the Blue Devils will drive across the sunshine state and play the Bulls of South Florida (Nov. 10).
Upon returning from Florida, CCSU will play its next four games in the State of Connecticut. Rhode Island (Nov. 13), New Hampshire (Nov. 20) and Siena (Dec. 3) will all visit Detrick Gymnasium with the lone road game during the stretch being a short trip to the University of Hartford on November 26.
In December, CCSU will travel to Vermont (Dec. 8) and Rider (Dec. 21) and host UMass-Lowell (Dec. 15) and Hofstra (Dec. 30) for home games.
The New Year will signal the start of NEC action with the Blue Devils hosting Robert Morris and Saint Francis U on January 4 and 6, respectively. The Blue Devils will also host Fairleigh Dickinson (Jan. 18), St. Francis Brooklyn (Jan. 25) and Mount St. Mary's (Jan. 27) at Detrick Gym during the year's first month. January road games included visits to Wagner (Jan. 11), LIU Brooklyn (Jan. 13) and Sacred Heart (Jan. 20).
In February, the Blue Devils will travel to St. Francis Brooklyn (Feb. 1), Mount St. Mary's (Feb. 3), Bryant (Feb. 8), Robert Morris (Feb. 15) and Saint Francis U (Feb. 17). February home games include LIU Brooklyn (Feb. 10), Sacred Heart (Feb. 22) and Wagner (Feb. 24).
The final two regular season games will come in March with CCSU going to FDU (March 1) and hosting Bryant (March 3).
The NEC Tournament will begin on March 8 with semifinals scheduled for March 11 and the NEC Championship game slated for March 16.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
A fire component standard is a document with mandatory provisions to indicate requirements and testing methods for components or materials to be used within the fire protection system installation.
Fire component standards can be written by independent product safety certification organizations, insurance companies or state related authorities.
Please note: the UK standard is actually "LPS 1131" for fire pump units, written by the "Loss Prevention Certification Board", or "LPCB"
The component standards are intended to describe the requirements of the components to ensure:
- conditions of performance
- safety
- quality
They also describe the quality control in manufacturing to ensure a consistently uniform and reliable component.
The standards specify the criteria for listing the components (component that have been evaluated by an approved testing laboratory), as guidance for the approval body, manufacturers and authority having jurisdiction (AHJ). Consultants may want to check the certification documents of the components before or at the delivery, and the authority having jurisdiction should always check the approval number on the nameplate.


text:
Moderators: [Official] Foundry Assistants, Cartographers
DiM wrote:i thought you abandoned this one. nice to see it back to life.
and i see you added a nice effect to the bottom locomotive
PS: resize the image in your sig. it's huge
edit// i see you resized it. now add [/url] at the end
edit// perfect
alex_white101 wrote:that looks really cool if a tad confusing, also the line that runs along the top, kind of greenish does it get you a 5 bonus? i think this would be excellent the only thing im not sure about is the bonuses......
WidowMakers wrote:Man you beat me to it. I was also thinking of a US highway/railway map. Basically just what I was thinking. Well you snooze you lose. Oh well. Great start.
cairnswk wrote:DiM wrote:i thought you abandoned this one. nice to see it back to life.
and i see you added a nice effect to the bottom locomotive
PS: resize the image in your sig. it's huge
edit// i see you resized it. now add [/url] at the end
edit// perfect
Thanks DiM....no i hadn't abandoned it...just working slowly on it in between other projects that creative flow came more easily for.
This one was a little difficult to get everything in place and create the overall concept to make it look good.
DiM wrote:i haven't heard anything about it in a long time and that's why i thought you dropped it.
anyway. i'm not familiar with the us rail but it would be neat if there was another line from den to hav with 1 extra station between those 2.
another thing between den and slc there's a point where the tracks narrow oddly.
DiM wrote:also the same problem between tus and elp.
and also the orange line ooks kinda squished.
same squishiness from nyp to bos
PS: i would help you but i have no idea what to search for. maybe an american would be more helpful.
edit// in chicago, the yellow and grey atmy circles are barely visible. and i suspect the army numbers will be very hard to see in chicago maybe make the circles less tarnsparent.
one more thing. the watches in the stations. all point at 3 o'clock. maybe make them point like the real time zones. and some watches are blank.
Pious wrote:I like it, but it's confusing at Chicago and which bonuses go to which rails. Does the orange rail have a station all the way in Chicago? Can every station at Chicago attack every other station? If so, it might be too hard to hold any of the bonuses from railroads that have a station in Chicago. This gives a huge advantage to railroads that don't have a station in Chicago.
It also might be too easy to block off paths in some areas. In the top left, it is too easy to hold the bonus once taken (besides it bordering Chicago, which is too hard to hold a station at).
What determines a split city and a shared city needed for more than one bonus?
Will the acronyms be used or the city names? If the city names, some people might not be able to tell their names from the acronyms so it could be confusing.
It looks like a fun map though.
Night Strike wrote:I'm liking this idea. Good work thus far. I don't have much creative feedback at this time, but I probably will eventually.
Unit_2 wrote:i have a good idea. take out some stations, and put in some trains inbetween the stations.
P.S i LOVE trains!
Unit_2 wrote:if you don't know what i mean by "trains", i mean put a engine as a territory.
Pious wrote:Is it wise to have NEW and BOS having 11 points combined? They're probably going to be held by the same person since they have the majority of their territories together.
I think an obvious deciding factor between a shared-bonus-territory and having a hub station is having a line end there, but WAS and ALB don't fit the criterea. What did you use for it?
Users browsing this forum: No registered users


text:
Directed by Kim Heung-dong (김흥동), Kim Jin-min-I (김진민)
Screenplay by Lee Hwan-kyung (이환경)MBC | Airing dates : 2012/02/11~2012/09/15
56 episodes - Sat, Sun 20:40
All ambitious men pursue power and the women they love. After accomplishing these pursuits, all that remains is their legacy after death... 500 years before the Shogunate ruled feudal Japan, Goryeo also had a strong military establishment that ruled country for 100 years instead of a king. Especially, the Choe clan ruled Goryeo for 60 years in place of Goryeo kings. It was Kim Jun, a slave and family retainer to the Choe clan, who ended the Choe clans power to become the most powerful man in the kingdom. There were few cases in history where a slave was able to rise to a position of power and authority. However, as described above, Kim Jun stole his masters love and reached the highest position in the Goryeo royal court to rule the entire kingdom. This drama is inspired by historical facts recorded in the Annals of the Goryeo Dynasty and tells a story about courageous men.
Kim Jun (=Kim In-jun) (Actor Kim Joo-hyeok)
Like his father, Kim Jun also became a slave owned by the Choe Chung-heon clan. Choe Woo became impressed with Kim Jun and promoted him to be the household retainer and later on, a trusted commander. However, he eventually usurped his master and reached the pinnacle of power. He was one of the few insiders who witnessed the rise and fall of the Choe clan. He later changed his name to Kim Jun from Kim In-jun.
Song-i (Actress Kim Gyoo-ri-I)
As Choe Woos daughter, she was married to Kim Yak-sun. With her open-minded personality, she once fell in love with Kim Jun. But her heart toward him took a tragic turn that destroyed her whole life.
Choe Woo (=Choe Li) (Actor Jepng Bo-seok)
As a son of Choe Chung-heon and the second-highest ranked commander in the kingdom, He inherited his fathers generosity and fearsome intelligence. He released Kim In-jun from the bonds of slavery and gave him one of his concubines. For 30 years, he led successful campaigns to resist Mongol invasions and also commissioned the creation of the Tripitaka Korean. But unfortunately, none of his sons became a worthy successor. Later, he changed his name to Choe Li.
Choe Yang-baek (Actor Park Sang-min)
He was a former slave who thoroughly followed the same path as Kim Jun did. As a rival, he faced against Kim Jun at every turn.
You're reading the news with potential spoilers, make them spoiler free, dismiss
DVD Vol. 2 of 2 DVD (12-Disc) (English Subtitled)
DVD Vol. 1 of 2 DVD (8-Disc) (English Subtitled)
View all 314 pictures for "God of War"
|Technical Information
|70 min
|Web site
|Festival(s) & award(s)
|Sales or release dates & Box Office
|Fan club
|Quick message
To participate to HanCinema, you must sign up or log in. Sign up, Why ?
|Old message board
Subscribe to HanCinema Pure to remove ads from the website (not for episode and movie videos) for US$0.99 monthly or US$7.99 yearly (you can cancel anytime). The first step is to be a member, please click here : Sign up, then a subscribe button will show up.
Drama of the week
HanCinema's Official Facebook group will keep you updated on the latest in Korean movies and dramas!
Today's birthdays


text:
377 members11 Likes
John Gerard has not received any gifts yet
Yeah clay is fine with me...if its the weekend, it would be great if we could start late, like 7ish in the evening, or early in the morning like 6am.
hey I live in Midtown and we can play at Bitsy Grant, its close to where I work. Let me know what times works best for you. Cheers
© 2020 Created by Mark / The Mayor. Powered by


text:
A member of the Oregon Ducks has the "honor" of being the latest college football player to reset the "Days Without An Arrest" tracker back to double zeroes.
The Oregon Daily Emerald is reporting that linebacker Rahim Cassell was arrested very early Sunday morning and charged with driving under the influence. Cassell was pulled over around 1 a.m. local time by Eugene police officers for speeding and changing lanes without using a turn signal.
In a statement to The Oregonian, head coach Mark Helfrich confirmed the incident involving one of his players.
"We are aware of the situation and continue to gather information," the coach said. "We have a high standard of accepted behavior for our student-athletes that will not be compromised. Once we have a complete determination of the facts, we will take appropriate steps."
At least a one-game suspension for the redshirt junior is not out of the question, although that determination will be made further down the road.
Last season as a backup linebacker, Cassell played in all 13 of UO's games.


text:
News & Notes: Game 134 (on SNY tonight)
Follow the Herd:
Listen to the Game Live: CLICK HERE!
Bisons Baseball Network: CLICK HERE!
Email the Broadcast Team: CLICK HERE!
Everything about the Herd: CLICK HERE!
Get to a Bisons Game: CLICK HERE!
TODAY'S GAME: Tonight, the Buffalo Bisons take on the Rochester Red Wings in the first game of a two-game set at Coca-Cola Field (7:05 p.m.). The Herd is coming off a 2-1 series loss in Rochester, as the Bisons lost the series finale 5-4 yesterday. Buffalo went 3-6 on their season-long nine-game roadtrip. The Bisons begin their final homestand of the 2009 season tonight, in which they host Rochester and Scranton/Wilkes-Barre for two games a piece.
vs. THE WINGS: The Bisons are 5-9 against the Red Wings this season. The teams will face each other the next two days to close out their season series. The Herd has an overall .548 (103-85) winning percentage and a .564 (53-41) percentage at home against Rochester since returning to the I.L. in 1998.
ROLLING STONE: RHP Tobi Stoner gets the start on the mound for the Bisons in tonight's game. The righty has won his last two decisions and has posted a 1.50ERA in his last three starts. In his last outing, Stoner allowed just one run on three hits in six innings in a no-decision on Wednesday in Pawtucket. In the three-game span, he has allowed just 14 hits while striking out 14 in 18.0 innings of work.
HIT MACHINE: The International League hit competition continues to be a two-man race. Neither OF Jesus Feliciano or Gwinnett's INF Barbaro Canizares registered a hit yesterday. That means Canizares kept his one-hit lead, 141-140. Feliciano's nine-game hit streak came to an end yesterday, during which he averaged .389 (14-36).
CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK: OF Chip Ambres had a solid day at the plate in yesterday's game. The veteran went 2-5 with a run and an RBI. Ambres has been clutch for the Herd with runners in scoring position all season long, going 22-70 (.314) with two home runs and 28 RBI. The outfielder currently leads the Bisons with a four-game hit streak. In this span he has a .353 average (6-17) with two runs, two doubles and three RBI.
BISONS BITS: INF Javier Castillo had his fourth three-hit game and fifth two RBI game of the season in yesterday's game…The Bisons have just nine games left this season. Buffalo has a doubleheader on September 4 in Lehigh Valley.


text:
Endangered World, Biscayne National Park, installation, "Endangered World: Biscayne National Park installation"
Print Page | Contact Us | Report Abuse | Sign In | Register
|Membership Management Software Powered by YourMembership :: Legal
©2008-2014 Xavier Cortada. All text content, videos, and images are the property of Xavier Cortada.
Any reproductions, revisions or modifications of this website without expressed consent of Xavier Cortada is prohibited by law.


text: Hi All, I noticed last night that my Tremonti has a pickup ring hole that seems stripped. The screw goes into a certain depth and then just turns and turns without ever tightening to completion. What is the best and safest way to fix this myself? Thanks for any help!


text:
When the bicycle of 13-year-old Sinikka is discovered in the exact same wheat field where a heinous rape/murder took place 23 years prior, retired police detective Krischan (Burghart Klaußner) senses that the two crimes are connected, and vows to bring the killer to justice. The fact that Krischan was unable to catch the killer two decades prior still haunts him to this very day, but perhaps with the help of ambitious young officer David, this time he will find a way to bring closure to the case. Later, as the investigation begins and a sweltering summer heat wave washes over the town, the young victim's parents begin to experience an overwhelming sense of dread concerning a clean-cut husband and father who had recently visited their home before the crime. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi
Movies.com, the ultimate source for everything movies, is your destination for new movie trailers, reviews, photos, times, tickets + more! Stay in the know with the latest movie news and cast interviews at Movies.com.
Copyright © 2020 FANDANGO MOVIES.


text:
Baby Sharing A Room? These Tips Are Priceless
Photo credit: KidStock/Blend Images/Getty Images
Lauren Jimeson, writer of A Mommy In The City blog, got together with super hot children's furniture shop Bellini to see what they could do with her kids' bedroom — a room that is not only tiny, but shared. Jimeson's family moved to New York City from Florida and the change was a big one — not only the city aspect, but the apartments in NYC are small, and the rooms within even smaller.
Small space, transformed
That's where Bellini steps in and works with the family to create an adorable bedroom for her two small girls, and what they've done is amazing. If you have a small nursery or child's room, their tips can really help you maximize space while lightening up the room to make it seem a little bigger.
Are you inspired? I sure am.
More fun for Baby
NurturMe continues to change how we feed our babies
SwaddleDesigns introduces the first smart swaddling blanket
Review: Out of Print Clothing


text:
Our job as a Sage 200cloud Partner is to help our clients to achieve their goals such as complete their month ends faster, improve month end reporting, increase automation, reduce manual data entry processes, increase profitability and generate more leads and sales. With 200cloud, we have all the tools we need to help you achieve your goals.
Sometimes it can be daunting to know where to start and who you should start talking to first. We are here to help guide you through the process. We would usually recommend starting with a requirements document, which could be as simple as some bullet points on a piece of paper, but if you haven't managed to get this far, don't worry...we can assist you with this.
For us, it's all about listening to our clients, understanding their objectives and goals, their current bottlenecks and then coming up with a solution that fits the organisation and will deliver a real return on investment. We know one size doesn't fit all when it comes to accounting software and ERP solutions so it's a matter of working out the best fit to suit each business or organisation. We specialise in Sage 200cloud for small to medium sized businesses.
|read more about Sage products
|See our upcoming events
We are Ireland's largest Sage Business Partner based here in Castleknock, Dublin 15. Envisage Cloud Limited was formed in 2014 as a result of the merger of two long established Irish Sage Partners: Advent Processing Solutions and ADP Business Solutions Limited. We specialise in delivering solutions to mid-sized organisations, focusing on Sage 200cloud and Sage CRM products.
|read more about Envisage Cloud here
Well... that depends on the size and nature of your business, you may be good to go with aSage 50, a very good accounting software for small businesses
, or maybe a more comprehensiveSage 200, for medium sized businesses.
|Check out our product page for more details.
We would usually recommendSage 200
orSage 200 Online
as it can be tailored or integrated to suit particular needs.
We have our own software development team here, so we can advise you on your options when it comes to finding the right solution for your business.
|read more about our Sage software development services
That's a very topical question and one that needs to be fully explored. Unfortunately, the answer is not black and white. What's right for one business may not be at all right for another. So, it really is a case of sizing up your options and making an informed decision. Click on the "book free consultation" button below if you would like to have a chat about your options.
|visit our Sage 200 Online page for more information


text:
News & Notes: Game 90
Follow the Herd:
Listen to the Game Live: CLICK HERE!
Bisons Baseball Network: CLICK HERE!
Email the Broadcast Team: CLICK HERE!
Everything about the Herd: CLICK HERE!
Get to a Bisons Game: CLICK HERE!
ON THE TUBE: Today's game will be shown live on SNY (SportsNet New York) as well as Time Warner Cable SportsNet 13.
TODAY'S GAME: This afternoon, the Buffalo Bisons host the Toledo Mud Hens in the finale of a four-game series from Coca-Cola Field (1:05 p.m.). The Herd is looking for the series win after sweeping Saturday night's doubleheader, 1-0 and 2-0. Buffalo has now won six of their last eight games. Tomorrow, the Bisons start an eight-game roadtrip to Louisville and Indianapolis.
vs. THE HENS: The Bisons are 2-1 against Toledo this year, thanks to last night's doubleheader sweep. Buffalo won the season-series a year ago, 5-3, thanks to a series win at Fifth Third Field. The Bisons have not lost a set to the Mud Hens at Coca-Cola Field since the 2003 season (one win and four splits).
SHUTOUTS: Last night was the first time the Bisons swept a doubleheader with a pair of shutouts since June 15, 2006 in Durham with LHP Jeremy Sowers and RHP Ronald "Bear" Bay doing the honors in 3-0 and 4-0 wins. The last time Buffalo accomplished the feat at home was August 14, 1997 as the Bisons took a pair of 8-0 wins against Indianapolis.
TAKAHASHI: LHP Ken Takahashi will make his third start with the Bisons today. The 40-year old rookie had a 0.95ERA in nine relief appearances to begin his Triple-A career. In his two starts since joining the rotation on July 7, the southpaw is 0-1 with a 0.82ERA. On the Sunday before the All-Star break, Takahashi allowed just one earned run in five innings in a 3-2 defeat to Scranton/ Wilkes-Barre.
STRONG ARMS: The Bisons pitching staff has been tremendous over the last 10 days. Since July 8, Herd hurlers have posted a 1.48ERA with only 45 hits allowed in 67.0 innings of work. Buffalo has three complete games in their last eight, with the honors going to RHP Lance Broadway, LHP Jonathon Niese and RHP Nelson Figueroa.
NIESE-LY DONE: LHP Jonathon Niese tossed his second complete-game shutout last night. He becomes the 16th Bisons pitcher to have two shutouts in a single season in the Modern Era, and only the third southpaw. Jeremy Sowers was the last two do it in 2006 while lefty Bryan Clark also had a pair of shutouts during the 1986 season at War Memorial Stadium.
ROSTER MOVE: The Bisons have activated INF Andy Green from the team's disabled list today. Green missed 68 games with a fractured left thumb. INF Luis Rivera has been transferred to St. Lucie (A).


text:
|There are 0 sections of this class.
|Web Registration Dates:
Resident: 12/10/2019 @ 8:30A - 05/27/2020 @ 11:59P
Non-Resident: 12/24/2019 @ 8:30A - 05/27/2020 @ 11:59P
|This activity has a prerequisite of Pass Type(s): C Fam Annual, C Fam Ann Add, C Family 3 Mth, C Fam 3 Mth Add, C Family 6Mth, C Fam 6Mth Add, C Ind Ann Ch, C Ind 3Mth Ch, C Ind 6Mth Ch, Waterways After.
|This is a Co-ed activity.
|Open to These Ages:
|5 years to 8 years
|Open to These Grades:
|Notes for this activity:
|This class introduces students to basic ballet techniques. It consists of floor warm-ups, barre exercises and ballet combinations. Students will have the opportunity to develop strength, balance and flexibility. Leotard, tights and ballet slippers are recommended.
Ages: 5-8 (Classes are divide by grade level)
Household credits and refunds are considered when an activity or program is cancelled by the City of Aventura or in the case of medical emergency accompanied by appropriate documentation that can be verified.
All refunds and credits take approximately 6 weeks to process from the date of request. No refund or credit requests will be considered after a program has concluded.
This class is held on Wednesdays.


text:
You are in Guest mode. If you want to post, you'll need to register (we promise it's painless).
Registered users should log in now. (Forgot your password?)
|This forum allows unregistered guests access to read. You must register to post in this forum.
Isn't it time to start rationing gas?
{Wheels.21.1}: Glen Marks {wotan} Tue, 08 Aug 2006 16:55:10 CDT (2 lines)
I think it that rationing should have been started back when the U.S. invaded Iraq.
{Wheels.21.2}: Alex {alex} Tue, 08 Aug 2006 17:04:03 CDT (HTML)
{Wheels.21.3}: Joseph Kang {jsk} Tue, 08 Aug 2006 17:09:20 CDT (2 lines)
Seems like a good suggestion to the oil companies to run up prices by artificially reducing demand.
{Wheels.21.4}: Ben Conover {benc} Wed, 09 Aug 2006 13:07:36 CDT (1 line)
Someone should invent a vehicle that runs on pie. And frosting.
{Wheels.21.5}: Joseph Kang {jsk} Thu, 10 Aug 2006 09:09:57 CDT (3 lines)
I'd like someone to come up with a car that runs on self-righteous indignation for the social conservatives. There's more than enough of that to last a lifetime!
{Wheels.21.6}: Frank Rizzo {cuttaxes} Thu, 10 Aug 2006 09:54:55 CDT (5 lines)
Is there a gas shortage? The possibility of demand so exceeding supply that it posses a danger to society? No, and No. Personal reduction in consumption is smart on many levels. But rationing is not needed.
{Wheels.21.7}: Glen Marks {wotan} Thu, 28 Sep 2006 00:02:47 CDT (6 lines)
- There seems to be no political traction for reducing demand. Consumers don't want to hear about making any changes from the plentiful gasoline of the 1990s. And unfortunately, short of colonizing the Middle East ... there isn't a way back to that. Severin Borenstein
{Wheels.21.8}: McKenzie K. Musick {mckenzie} Thu, 28 Sep 2006 09:25:37 CDT (11 lines)
Glen if you reason for rationing gas were to require even some little sacrifice while the United States is sacrificing the lives of its men and women and taking the lives of Iraqis I would certainly agree with you. However if it is to conserve gas then the U.S. should not give tax breaks to businesses ( and individual who operate "Scamway" home businees) for vehicles that weigh over 5,000 lbs.( Or what ever a SuburbanExpoNavigator weighs.) The U.S. Congress should have passed much higher cafe standards. Far more money should have gone into alternative fuels. Rationing is not a bad idea for the reason I first gave but it is not the right approach to conservation. People who write off their SUVs will find a business loophole to obtain all the gas they want. ( I am a cynic.)
{Wheels.21.9}: Frank Rizzo {cuttaxes} Wed, 25 Oct 2006 16:26:44 CDT (12 lines)
McKenzie, What you were referring to was often called "The Hummer Deduction". It was originally implemented to help farmers and others who have to use large vehicles for business activity. But as with everything congress does, the law of unintended consequences took effect and accountants discovered that one need not be a farmer to take advantage of the deduction for large vehicles. The law/tax break has since been repealed.
{Wheels.21.10}: Glen Marks {wotan} Fri, 24 Nov 2006 12:27:05 CST (3 lines)
"How to save money on gas": http://www.wikihow.com/Save-Money-on-Gas
{Wheels.21.11}: Glen Marks {wotan} Thu, 31 May 2007 16:23:40 CDT (4 lines)
"Edwards wants probe of high gas prices": "http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070531/ap_on_el_pr/edwards_gas_prices;_ ylt=AjY3pACrIsBEwByqJ9jUlC6s0NUE"
{Wheels.21.12}: {wotan} Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:29:19 CDT (0 lines)
{erased by wotan Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:29:30 CDT}
{Wheels.21.13}: Glen Marks {wotan} Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:29:47 CDT (2 lines)
Am I the only one who feels that come November the top political issue will be $5/gal. gas?
{Wheels.21.14}: Jack Van Gossen {lowjack} Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:56:22 CDT (2 lines)
Only as part of the whole economic picture, not as a standalone issue. But the economy is most decidedly issue #1 right now.
|This forum allows unregistered guests access to read. You must register to post in this forum.
You are in Guest mode. If you want to post, you'll need to register (we promise it's painless).
Registered users should log in now. (Forgot your password?)


text:
Manufacturer's Description
EA Sports Active 2 with Total Body Tracking will include the innovative EA Sports Active heart rate monitor that provides constant on-screen monitoring, allowing users to capture intensity and optimize performance over time.
Users will also be able to track and share their workout data online through automatic uploading from their online connected console to their personalized EA Sports Active profile.
- Built-in Heart Rate Monitor - Track your heart rate on screen in real-time with the innovative EA SPORTS Active heart rate monitor to capture intensity and optimize performance over time. The heart rate monitor sits comfortably on your left forearm and does not require a chest-strap.
- Wireless Motion Tracking - The EA SPORTS Active 2 Total Body Tracking wireless system uses motion sensors in leg and arm straps along with the Wii® remote to register movement and provide complete freedom of motion.
- Take Your Workout Online - Track your progress on the web via the EA SPORTS Active online global community. EA SPORTS Active 2 tracks your fitness data online via automatic uploads to your online profile and allows you to share your data and connect with other users through workout groups - all while reaching your own personal fitness goals.
- 70+ Exercises and Activities - Create unlimited customizable workouts with over 70 exercises and activities to choose from, including foundational exercises like squats, lunges, and bicep curls and fun fitness activities such as mountain biking, basketball, and boxing.
- Enroll in the 9-Week Program - Designed by certified personal trainers, the EA SPORTS Active 2 9-week program provides total body conditioning using progressive exercise. It provides a fitness roadmap to help keep users motivated and on track of their fitness goals. Additional mini-programs will also be available to add on, keeping workouts fresh and inspiring.
- Built-in Personal Trainer -Your personal trainer will be there by your side every step of the way to guide you, motivate you, and create the most effective custom workouts based on your needs.
- Wii Balance Board Compatible - Add new challenges to your routines with the Wii Balance Board. (Balance Board not included)
|Item Code
|Packaged Weight
|0.1 Kg
|Release Date
|Thursday, 18th November 2010
|Product Type
|Video Games
|Fitness & Health


text:
STATEHOUSE — State Rep. Matt Ubelhor (R-Bloomfield) is encouraging local students to apply for the Indiana House Page Program. The program offers students 13 to 18 years old the chance to visit the Statehouse and see a full day of legislative activity.
"It's important for young people to learn what goes on during the legislative session," said Rep. Ubelhor. "The House Page Program is the perfect way for students to do that. This experience will allow them to gain hands-on experience and meet Indiana's legislators. I strongly encourage those eligible to apply."
Along with visiting the capitol building and touring such locations as the governor's office, the chambers of the Indiana House and Senate and the Indiana Supreme Court, pages get the chance to witness floor sessions and committee meetings and help staff members.
Students who serve as pages are excused from school for the day. Pages are responsible for their own transportation to and from the Statehouse.
Interested students are encouraged to schedule their visit quickly, as spots fill up fast. Pages are asked to include two different dates when they can come to the Statehouse between January and April. Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays are the best days to serve because that is when the House is in session. There are no pages on Fridays. To sign up, visit www.in.gov/legislative/house_republicans/off_cms/page or call 1-800-382-9841.


text:
You are currently browsing the tag archive for the 'end-of-life suffering' tag.
Tag Archive
A Tragic Misnomer for Aid-in-Dying
April 23, 2017 in Uncategorized | Tags: aid in dying, autocracy, autonomy, choice, conscious dying, disability, dying, end-of-life, end-of-life suffering, Illness as spiritual initiation, independence, MS, Natural death, Sacred death, suicide as misnomer, the Feminine | 22 comments
For my patients who have used this law, I was honored that I could be with them every step of the way, ensuring that they were cared for, and that they had control of the final days of their lives. That's what death with dignity really means. – Nicholas Gideonse, MD
When I was a child, I grew up on a natural lake. I was probably in the water eight hours a day. My family called me a fish. As I got older I learned to waterski– two skis, then one, or slalomming. I was on the swim team in elementary school, delegated to the 500-yard freestyle, because I was the one with the physical endurance to swim 5 laps, straight. During the summer I rode my horse, daily. In high school, I was in the snow ski club. And, in graduate school in New Orleans, I rode horses and ran road races in the scalding heat of the Louisiana summers. Needless to say, I was always physically active and athletic.
Running was the first ability I lost. I was 47 years old, with two children, a horse farm, and a psychotherapy practice. Within three years, I could no longer ride my horse and I started tripping and dragging my right foot. While carrying my computer, I fell on the wood floor and broke my patella in half, which led me to a walker. Although I dreaded using a walking aid, I was glad for the safety it provided. That was, until I fell on my walker and cracked my sternum.
With a cracked sternum, standing, sitting, any movement was excruciating. I'd bruised ribs in the past, but nothing like a sternum crack which required assistance for any movement. I was losing my autonomy. Around this time, I began having "accidents," incontinence particularly disturbed my husband. This affected my dignity.
After failing to engage the brakes in my car quickly enough and finally stopping in the middle of a busy street, I realized that I would never drive another car and risk endangering a life. I was losing my independence. I was still able to drive the golf cart on the farm, which gave me some sense of autonomy, but all of the chores were left to my husband, which was not our agreement when we purchased a labor-intensive horse farm.
My husband was becoming more and more irritable and resentful. Burdening loved ones is another huge fear to an active person becoming disabled. Each of these losses could lead to major depression, but having been a therapist or in therapy much of my life, I have the internal resources to deal with these stressors. Fortunately, I was not financially dependent on my husband or the government. I cannot imagine the level of suffering people encounter, when terminally ill, who are less resourced than I, either internally or externally.
After cracking my sternum, I was almost relieved to sit in a chair where I was safe from excruciating injuries. "You don't get the small stuff," exclaimed the doctor who read my patella x-ray. So, sit in the wheelchair, I did.
Probably the two worst symptoms of progressive multiple sclerosis are heat intolerance and intractable fatigue. I used to call it "crying fatigue," because all I could imagine doing was to lay on the floor and cry. It was not grief or sadness that led to crying, but intense exasperation, with no emotion attached. Only someone with chronic or terminal illness can understand this level of pain and suffering.
After Katrina, when we had no air-conditioning for a month, in the heat of the Louisiana summer. I remember stumbling to my car with my walker, turning the engine on, sitting in the air-conditioning and crying. I knew I could no longer live in this state of Louisiana that I loved, that the heat and the hurricanes were more than I could bear. I no longer had the endurance of the 500-yard freestyler or the independence to care for myself with a partner who was beginning to resent me more each day. We would move to Colorado. I thought that would solve many problems, but little did I know my life was about to, once again, change forever.
On the way to Colorado, a wheelchair accident resulted in my femur being shattered, the largest bone in the body. It was shattered so badly, that the surgeon had to scrape the pieces together, to screw the stainless steel plate to something. This is where my book Meet Me By the River – A Women's Healing Journey begins and chronicles my life from devastation to deep gratitude and joy. (Shameless plug.) From the hospital, I was discharged to our new home in Colorado. Six months later, my husband/partner of 11 years left and I, reluctantly and not very gracefully, was to learn how to live alone with this degenerative, neurological illness. Fortunately, I had the financial resources to not be a burden on my family for at least a decade.
Many people facing terminal illness embrace a spiritual life for the first time. Even if they were religious, their beliefs take on greater meaning, much like a spiritual initiation.
I began to see these physical limitations as directed by a higher power. I no longer saw them as punishment or some failing on my part; I saw the Universe as loving and I saw how my ability to impact myself and others was much more effective in this condition. The healing in myself and others was profound. I began to love this illness and see it as a course correction that was leading me to my highest purpose in life. The joy I experienced was infectious. The help I could provide to others was more than I'd ever imagined, with an able body.
As the illness progressed, I began to assess the level of suffering I was experiencing. At some point I knew that my suffering would no longer be a positive catalyst; the suffering would be needless. This pivotal point is different for everyone, depending on their capacity to process the pain and suffering, their level of development, and the Mystery beyond our limited knowing.
In November, the Aid-in-Dying law became legal in Colorado. The most common reasons people choose Aid-in-Dying are loss of autonomy, becoming a burden on one's family, loss of independence, financial concerns, loss of control of bodily function, fear of uncontrollable pain, loss of ability to participate in pleasurable activities, and loss of dignity. (I highlighted some of the issues that cause me the most suffering in red.) This law is well-crafted to protect the vulnerable from abuse: one must be in the process of dying, be of sound mind, be able to self-administer, and no other person can benefit from this choice.
Opponents of this law often use the word suicide to incite people, emotionally, in my opinion. I have assessed suicidality for 30 years as a psychotherapist. When suicidal, a person wants to die. I have talked many a person "off the ledge." It is an insult and a misnomer to ascribe suicidality to a person in the sacred dying process, who is finally able to surrender and let go. What a harmful imprint this could leave for the family to carry. Words have power.
All of this being said, my first choice would be to die naturally. Unfortunately, people never die from MS, they die from "complications from multiple sclerosis." The complications can be: sepsis from pressure sores, choking to death which has to involve a beloved caregiver trying so hard to keep me alive, drowning in my own fluids from pneumonia, or some other horror I don't yet know about. The best option I could hope for would be failing to thrive, or starving to death, slowly. Keep this in mind when considering choice.
Societies that rule with a more parental, autocratic style usurp one's sovereignty for making choices for themselves and their bodies, which includes how they might want to leave this beautiful world. These regimes characteristically manifest a disregard for women's rights, or a disrespect of the Feminine. (I use "the Feminine" as a term applicable to either gender: having more of a tendency toward vulnerability, empathy, and sensitivity. These are values that have been punished for nearly 5000 years.) Hopefully, we are integrating more feminine values moving toward a kinder, less violent world.
In the meantime, if I begin to feel complete with this lifetime and ready to let go and serve my loved ones from Spirit, do not conflate this sacred decision with suicide. This is not suicide. I do not want to die. My life has always been about service and learning to connect more deeply in Love, I know myself and I know this intimacy and animation will continue, and, most likely, express itself in a much deeper Way.


text:
Your Global Engineering & Manufacturing Logistics Partner
We at DHL know the challenges faced in the Engineering and Manufacturing industry, but with our expert knowledge we understand major emerging trends and how your supply chain will react to them.
What DHL can offer you?
- Global coverage and with consistent high quality service. Accompanied with our expertise of manufacturing's shift to new developing markets in Asia and the Middle East
- Solutions and innovation. Remain a step ahead of your competitors with our knowledge of global business cycles, their impacts on your supply chain and counter resulting costs
- Flexibility and reactivity in your supply chain, to meet increased revenue streams from aftermarket operations
- Operational excellence and a zero defect culture, enabling you to improve production effectiveness
- Specialised solutions for the industry
What We Do For the Engineering & Manufacturing Sector
Our offer transportation of your cargo predominately via air mode. Working with carefully selected carriers, we operate with schedules on all the world's major routes so you can plan with certainty and become more efficient. We offer a range of highly flexible products which allow a choice of delivery speeds to best suit your requirements.
Our offer transportation of your cargo predominately via ocean mode. With our broad product range we cover different equipment types and consolidation services to ensure your cargo reaches the right place, at the right time in a cost-efficient way. In order to deliver highest reliability we have planned space protection from every major container port in the world.
Safe, compliant and reliable management of project logistics for oversized cargo and heavy lifts.
The solution includes global multi-supplier projects, from pick-up to consolidation and delivery, to fabrication facilities and final project jobsites.
It also includes feasibility studies, route surveys, load supervision and end-to-end logistics visibility.
- Comprehensive service from one single source with punctual delivery and industry expertise
- Highly trained specialist teams providing integrated turn-key forwarding services including:
- Project logistics, oversized cargo and heavy lifts
- Project freight management and project surveys
- Design and transport engineering
- Material management and IT
- Accurate handling of heavy lifts, out-of-gauge cargo, time-critical and high-value material
- Full transparency via tracking and tracing system
Forwarding Insights
Interested in keeping up with the latest global logistics news and insights? Stay ahead of the game with DHL Global Forwarding.


text:
You know we love cellphone straps around here, so how could we resist what could be the ultimate cellphone strap ever? This one's called the Tokyo Micro garden, and contains a "nutrient-rich gel" and a plant which actually grows over time. Cool, yes, but even cooler when you smash it against a would-be-mugger's face and give him an eyeful of gel and plant matter.
Product Page [Dirtymicrobe via Notcot via Spluch]


text:
During the COVID-19 pandemic, ONLY online/virtual events are permitted; In-Person University-sponsored public events, both on and off campus, are suspended. This calendar may not be accurate at this moment. Please see www.american.edu/coronavirus for the latest information regarding university operations.
Events Hosted by International Student & Scholar Services
No events today.
Coming Soon
No Events after September 30.


text:
Trista Sutter for Dancing With The Stars All Star Season????
Thanks to Court for seeing this tweet which Heidi and I think is suspicious too!!! As many of you know, Trista Sutter and Louis Van Amstel were partners on the first season of Dancing With The Stars. This is when Louis had long hair. LOL! Flashback video below at the end of this post. LOL!!
Let's get Miss Heidi's thoughts:
Heidi: My thoughts are that Trista is one to watch…for the next ten days, anyway. 🙂 Now, it's entirely possible that this is nothing. In fact, since Trista was the first one out her season, it's kinda likely that it's nothing. But the timing is very coincidental…and of course, a new season of the Bachelor will be starting before you know it, along with Bachelor Pad. And we know how ABC feels about cross promotion. 🙂 Before you know it, they'll be having TWO family members on each season. Anyway, I did a quick google on her and it doesn't seem like she has anything going on other than motherhood – which is great, but makes this tweet all the more interesting. Things that make you go "hmmmm…."
Wow – random thought. My brain always goes to the pro pairing, so what do you suppose would happen if, say, Derek, Val or Tristan end up with Trista. 🙂 In fact, Trista and Tristan has a funny ring to it. I'm just thinking about the possible fall out if pros who would like to be back on the show get one of their former partners handed off to either a newbie or someone who has no former partners coming back. Yes, I am evil. 😉


text:
Take a tour of the 'doomsday Disneyland'
(CNN) -- Guardian Centers may be a place to practice how to respond to a disaster, but that doesn't mean real danger is nonexistent.
When we headed over to see its mock subway station, complete with eight cars donated from Washington's Metro system, we were told we had a limited window to view it. The reason -- they were going to be pumping actual toxic gas into the building to simulate a chemical attack.
As smoke rose from chunks of concrete representing an obliterated building, Chris Schaff put it this way: "As soon as you come in here, the pretend goes away."
He's a fire and rescue battalion chief with Fairfax County, Virginia, and his words carry a lot of weight. His elite team of urban search and rescue operatives has been deployed to numerous disasters, including Hurricane Sandy, the 2011 Japanese earthquake and tsunami, and the 2010 Haiti quake.
Luis Fernandez, a two-decades-plus veteran of disaster response, agreed the Perry, Georgia, facility passes muster.
"The temperature extremes, the building extremes, the noises, the environment, are incredibly lifelike," said Fernandez, Miami-Dade Fire Rescue chief of staff and.a spokesman for the Federal Emergency Management Agency.
The brotherhood of Disaster City
From the aforementioned subway station, to a mock bridge with crushed cars, to a devastated structure made to look like the aftermath of the Oklahoma City bombing, Guardian Centers' 830-acre site is designed to allow a variety of responders to do a variety of drills in one location.
This kind of "doomsday Disneyland" owes its vision to Geoff Burkart, a telecommunications executive who was in Louisiana in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. During Katrina, he saw "what was being done there, and what was not being done."
From there the idea was born, and a former Cold War missile plant became the location.
The subway station is especially convincing, fashioned from an elongated building originally designed to be an assembly line for the weapons.
Open for less than two years, the Centers facility has changed the game for disaster response training. Clients can tell Burkart's team what their specific needs are. If it's a group from the Pacific Northwest, they can request the ground be saturated to simulate the region's heavy rainfall.
Many agencies have "script writers" that work with Guardian Centers on specifications, from smoke to rebar.
"We're primarily just a tool, and we want to be the best tool," Burkart said.
He doesn't want to slight government training facilities but points out the advantages to being privately run.
"We can adapt and provide everything the client needs almost on demand," he said.
And by being able to provide a number of different training types in one place, Burkart says, he's saving the taxpayers money.
Still, the process to create such scenarios takes time. A recent weeklong earthquake response drill for FEMA and the U.S. Agency for International Development took months to plan, according to spokespeople.
And things must always be changed up. A pair of dog handlers from a New Mexico search and rescue team pointed out that the animals are smart enough to remember where the holes in the rubble are.
As for Burkart, he hopes his vision will extend well beyond the rolling hills of central Georgia.
"If we can make this entire campus successful, we would like to put one of these in (each of) the four corners of the United States," he said.
Check out http://groups.yahoo.com/group/californiadisasters/
Read my blog at http://eclecticarcania.blogspot.com/
My Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/derkimster
Linkedin profile: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/kim-noyes/9/3a1/2b8
Follow me on Twitter @DisasterKim


text:
All your favorites may be returning for the sixth season of Mad Men.
Elisabeth Moss, January Jones and Vincent Kartheiser are reportedly finalizing two-year deals that would see them continue with the series into Season 7, Deadline reports.
Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss: I "know certain things" about Peggy's future
The fate of Moss' character Peggy Olsen was left up in the air at the end of Season 5, with her leaving Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce behind for greener pastures. Things only got worse when cast member Jared Harris — who definitely won't be back (RIP, Lane!) — hinted that Moss had also said her goodbyes. Moss recently confirmed to TVGuide.com that she would return for Season 6.
In addition to Moss, Jones and Kartheiser — the latter two portray Betty Francis and Pete Campbell — Christina Hendricks is still negotiating her deal, though the details of how long she'd be portraying the vivacious Joan Holloway are unclear. Leading man Jon Hamm previously signed a deal that would see him stick with the show through Season 7.
Mad Men is slated to begin production on its sixth season in October.