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Exploring different parts of the world is a journey may hope to make a reality in their lifetime. Many are eager to learn of the different cultures, study the history of countries, enjoy a taste of the diverse foods, and take pleasure in the simplicity of hearing other languages spoken. While the thought of spontaneously backpacking across Europe may seem tempting, remember that you will need a place to sleep, and the last thing any foreign traveler wants to do is wind up lost. Mapping out your backpacking journey will help you organize your travel itinerary and ensure you do and see everything you want to while in Europe.
Aside from the obvious agenda of selecting a date to travel, booking a flight, and packing your backpack and belongings, there are other important steps no traveler should avoid.
1. Choose what places you want to see
You can start planning your backpacking journey with the most exciting step: choosing what places to explore. Europe consists of 47 independent countries, each rich with history and a diverse culture to learn about. Many travelers especially like to visit countries where their ancestors are from, and visit historical landmarks and museums. You can see the many beautiful buildings, including castles and empires, attend a cultural festival, and find out what the nightlife is all about. Of course, don't forget about indulging in foreign cuisine. Swing by a bar or restaurant and take a taste of something different.
2. Arrange for accommodations
After spending what feels like forever exploring the different parts of Europe, you're going to need a place to rest. Since you already mapped out what parts you want to explore, you can begin searching for nearby hotels. Because you're backpacking across Europe, remember that you don't need anything too fancy.
3. Find a means of transportation
Because so many countries make up Europe and depending upon what parts of Europe you want to see, you should find reliable transportation to help get you to where you want to be. You can research online the different trains, ferries and buses available and the schedule they run on. This will also help you plan how long you want to stay at each location.
4. Have currency available
Make sure you exchange your American dollars for foreign currency so that you have money available. You can do this at certain banks or at the airport. The euro is widely used in Europe, and countries that use it include Australia, Belgium, France, Germany, Finland, Greece, Netherlands, Luxembourg, Italy, Spain, the Republic of Ireland, and Portugal and Madeira. If you're visiting the United Kingdom, whether England, Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland, their currency is the Pound.
5. Learn some of the lingo
While you don't have to master another language prior to visiting another country, it helps to know simple and common phrases such as "Hello" and "Thank you." Although many countries across the world speak English, don't assume that they will speak it just because you do. You may want to take note of useful phrases and keep them in your backpack should you need them.
Most importantly, have fun on your backpacking adventure across Europe. Be sure to make the most of your time and make it worth the memory.
Jillian Johnson is a professional content writer who can blog all day about travel and the many places to explore. Follow her @MissWritey.


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ACS 18.104.22.168 Upgrade Hangs
I had a problem when upgrading from 184.108.40.206 to 126.96.36.199. I'd see the following: Saved the running configuration to startup successfully Then the CLI would just hang, after an hour I CTRL+C 'd out of it. Stopping the ACS process and re-running the install fixed the issue. ACS/user# application stop acs Stopping ACS. Stopping Management

subset: commoncrawl


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Bollom Intulac Ultra Topcoat
Manufacturer: Bollom
Bollom Intulac Ultra Topcoat delivers excellent clear fire protection to wood and timber.
- High performing satin or matt finish
- To be applied over Bollom Intulac Ultra Basecoat to complete a Class 0 fire-rated system
- Decorative varnish system for interior use
- Certificates of conformance & installation available
- Single pack
- Natural wood finish
Availability date:
Product Description
Bollom Intulac Ultra Topcoat (Satin or Matt) is applied over Bollom Intulac Ultra Basecoat to provide a Class 0 fire rated protective/ decorative clear varnish system for interior wood. It is easy to apply and ideal for use in communal areas.
The Bollom Intulac Ultra Varnish system provides a high performance fire protection coating system for interior wood surfaces. It comprises a clear, intumescent base coat designed to form a protective carbon char in the event of fire, delaying the inflammation of the wood – and a clear, protective top coat (available in Matt and Satin finishes).
How it Works
Intulac Ultra Base Coat is designed to form a protective carbon char in the event of fire, delaying the inflammation of the wood. It reduces ignitability of soft and hard wood and other wood derivatives I.e. plywood, chipboard, fibre insulation board, hard board and also on veneering ≥ 12mm thickness. It also insulates against heat, checks fire, prevents propagation of fire and diminishes flue-gas density and flue-gas temperature.
NB: Bollom Intulac Ultra Basecoat must be overcoated with Bollom Intulac Ultra Topcoat after 48 hours and not more than 4 days. It is important to speak to our Technical Department and refer to the product data sheet prior to using this product to ensure the correct specification has been chosen for your surface.
Features and Benefits
- 1 x 5lt of Bollom Intulac Ultra Basecoat and 1 x 500ml of Bollom Intulac Ultra Topcoat is sufficient to apply the specified 3 coat system to 12.5m²
- Can be applied over existing varnish - Maximum of four, single, well-adhered coats
- Simple 3 coat system to achieve Class 0
- Single pack products so no mixing required
- Protects and highlights the natural beauty of the wood - ideal for timber in communal areas.
- For interior use only. Not suitable for surfaces exposed to mechanical stress, such as floors, doors, stairs etc.
Coverage and Application
Bollom Intulac Ultra Topcoat should be applied undiluted by brush, roller or spray. Surfaces to be painted must be primed with Bollom Intulac Ultra Intumescent Base Coat
and dry, free from dust, oil, wax, grease and release agents. Apply two coats of Bollom Intulac Ultra Basecoat to a coverage rate of 5m² per litre, per coat (this means a 5lt tin will cover a total of 12.5m² after the two coats). The Intulac Ultra system requires the application of both the Intumescent Base Coat and Protective Top Coat. The Intulac Ultra Basecoat must be left a minimum of 48 hours and max of 4 days prior to applying the Intulac Ultra Topcoat. Apply 1 coat of Bollom Intulac Ultra Topcoat at 25m² per litre (this means a 500ml tin will cover a total of 12.5m²).
How to get Fire Certification
It's simple, just keep proof of purchase, batch numbers of the products used along with site details and contact Bollom Customer Services Department on 0191 410 6611 with the information and they will send you the relevant Certificate of Supply within 5 working days.
The Bollom Intulac Ultra range has been made with the professional painter and decorator in mind and all products are easy to apply and have been fire tested to BS 476 Parts 6, 7.
IMPORTANT FIRE PRODUCTS NOTICE: The information displayed on this website should be used as a guide ONLY and our Technical Department should be contacted to obtain a tailored specification and any advice necessary before you place an order for fire protection products. Fire protection products are non-returnable except in accordance with Condition 8 of the Terms and Conditions. We will not be held liable for any resulting damage to property, human life or monetary costs incurred due to the incorrect specification you have prepared or use of fire protection products caused by your negligence, including your failure to have contacted us to obtain the relevant advice/specification.
It is your responsibility to read the Product Data Sheets (available below) before you place an order and prior to application of the product. The content of this website is our best recommendation and is not advice. Coverage rates quoted are approximate, you agree that coverage depends on the condition of the substrate, surface absorption, texture and application method. We ALWAYS recommend a trial area is coated to ensure the product meets your requirements before use.
Technical Data
|The figures stated above are approximate. Please ensure you refer to all datasheets for full application information.
|Ross on 16/01/2019
Can this paint be used on Accoya timber? i need to make an Accoya staircase fire rated.
Bollom haven't carried out any specific tests, however they don't envisage a problem using the Intulac Ultra system on Accoya (provided it is not for use on the stair treads themselves). Usual criteria would apply - i.e. minimum thickness of the timber 12mm, 3 coat system (2 coats of Bollom Intulac Ultra Basecoat at 5m² per litre/per coat followed by 1 coat of Bollom Intulac Ultra Topcoat at 25m² per litre) to give a Class 0 rated system.
Accoya do have a UK office, so it may be worth contacting them (0207 7244300) if in doubt. The Intulac Ultra Basecoat is water based, so you could check this will be OK with the technical department at Accoya.
|Brian Hepworth on 05/03/2018
Is there a fire retardant product that would cover already painted surface. Paints are acrylic on plywood?
Clear fire retardant systems can't be applied over previously painted surfaces. Something like the Bollom Intulac Ultra system can be applied over existing stains and varnishes but not opaque paints. To upgrade previously painted surfaces you should use Bollom Broflame Ultra Basecoat followed by one of the compatible Bollom Flameguard Ultra Topcoats in the colour and finish of your choice.
|Ted Bhogal on 07/02/2018
Your description gives the Intulac Ultra as providing Class-O protection against spread of flame. We are looking to provide a clear finish with 60 minute resistance to structural timbers in the event of a fire. Please can you confirm if your system will achieve this? Kind regards, Ted Bhogal Design Manager - Ardmore Construction Ltd.
The Bollom Intulac Ultra system achieves BS Class 0 on timber substrates but not 30 or 60 minute protection - See instead Thermoguard Fire Varnish 30 & 60 Minute System.
|Gavin Fouldes on 09/10/2017
Question: hi just wondered if this will give any timber/MDF & veneers a class o rating??
The Intulac system (Intulac Ultra Base Coat + Intulac Ultra Topcoat) is designed to form a protective carbon char in the event of fire, delaying the inflammation of the wood. It reduces ignitability of soft and hard wood and other wood derivatives I.e. plywood, chipboard, fibre insulation board, hard board and also on veneering (less than or equal to 12mm thick). It also insulates against heat, checks fire, prevents propagation of fire and diminishes flue-gas density and flue-gas temperature. The Simple 3 coat system achieves Class 0.
|Andrew McRae on 14/08/2017
Question: Hello,
I was wondering if this product would work on top of osmo oil?
No, we're unable to offer any system that can be used over wood oils.
Colour reproduction of the Products on the Site is limited by the technology used to deliver web pages and by the colour representation of Customer's own monitor and computer set-up. We have made every effort to display as accurately as possible the colours of our Products but we cannot guarantee that the colour shown on Customer's monitor's display will accurately reflect the colour of the Product on delivery. We recommend that Customer first purchases the smallest Product available or access an industry standard colour chart in person (and not digitally) to ensure that the colour is acceptable for its purposes. For more information, please see our Terms & Conditions of Sale.Close


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Content Count2,387
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Blackpool area
wet`n`grinnin!! replied to BlackpoolVX's topic in Meeting UpBest place to find Stannah Skiers is on facebook mate. Just look for stannah skiers and ask to join
PWCForums.co.uk NEW Members and Launch Site Maps
wet`n`grinnin!! commented on E:maginehosts's record in Latest NewsJust added Stanah Slipway to the database, great idea!!
Stanah Slipway
wet`n`grinnin!! posted a Member Map Marker in Launch SitesFree parking, free launching, no insurance or RYA required. Slip way is very tidal but you can usually get in 90 mins either side of high tide (search for Fleetwood tide times). Not worth launching on anything less than an 8mtr tide unless you like mud!! This slipway is used mainly by skiers but boats use it as well, the channel is best looked at during low tide so you can see where it goes on tides over 9.8 mtrs the grasslands around the launch channel gets covered over and it very easy to beach your ski, best to go with someone who is familiar with the area and NEVER ski alone!! Look for Stannah Skiers on Facebook if you want to meet up with the locals.
Nice Little Project For Someone !!
wet`n`grinnin!! replied to wet`n`grinnin!!'s topic in General Jetski Chit ChatNot sure about the open propeller at the back of it, seems like a leg mincer if you come off it
Nice Little Project For Someone !!
wet`n`grinnin!! posted a topic in General Jetski Chit Chathttp://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Surfblazer-qx2-boat-jetski-project-/262404663859?hash=item3d18896a33 Anyone fancy a challenge
Nope totally stock
Some pics of My SC...shes a beaut!! The horrible pink pic was taken before I restored her to her current condition.
Got a really nice Kawasaki 650 SC on a great trailer. Needs a repair to the exhaust which I will do if that's what's needed to get a buyer. It's in mint condition and as rare as rocking horse droppins so it's not cheap.
Aerial camera
wet`n`grinnin!! replied to doodlebug40's topic in Family PubOne of the guys we ski with has got one on order. Having seen the videos etc I dont think I will be ordering one any time soon. 25mph top speed (and thats not allowing for any headwind!!) simply wont cut it on a ski. In fact you could easily outrun it on a pushbike!! Nice idea though but it will have to get a lot faster before it will be any good for filming skis (I guess the freestyle guys will love it though as they dont go very far or very fast!!)
Posh Boat Program on More4 Channel at 10pm Tonight
wet`n`grinnin!! posted a topic in Family PubHow the other half live!! On tonight (28/12/15) on More 4 (Sky channel 136) at 10pm http://tv.sky.com/tv-guide/#/programme/detail/4043/57371
First post on new forum format !!!!
wet`n`grinnin!! replied to Jules R's topic in General Jetski Chit ChatBlimey...thats so much better, well done guys and thank you for your time and investment...long live the forum!!
wet`n`grinnin!! started following First time in sea
Need a Router(wood working)
wet`n`grinnin!! replied to ron burgundy's topic in Family Pub1/2" router will do most things well. Soft start is essential and something with a bit of weight behind it is also good. You don't need to spend a fortune on known brands Screwfix or Toolstation do decent tools at good prices. A 1/2" router will also come with an adaptor to fit 1/4" bits but is more heavy duty.
How do we get this forum buzzing again ???
wet`n`grinnin!! replied to JETACTION's topic in General Jetski Chit Chat
How do we get this forum buzzing again ???
wet`n`grinnin!! replied to JETACTION's topic in General Jetski Chit ChatI also don't think the 10 post rule is helping. I understand why its there but it puts newbies off


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A chocolate shop owner has been sentenced for sexually assaulting a boy, a Scottish court has heard.
Alan Dixon, 77, of Willingham Hall Industrial Estate, has been fined £9,500 and ordered to pay £3,000 compensation after he pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a boy in Scotland on one occasion between December 2010 and July 2013.
Dixon, a partner in Market Rasen's Special Edition Chocolate, was sentenced at Dunoon Sheriff Court on Monday, August 31.
The court heard how Dixon's fine was a direct alternative to custody.
He has been placed on the sex offenders register for five years.


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The Freedom of Information Law, effective January 1, 1978, reaffirms your right to know how government operates. FOIL provides rights of access to records reflective of governmental decisions and policies that affect the public. For more information on the Freedom of Information Law (FOIL), contact the Committee on Open Government.
The Records Access Office hours of operations are: Monday through Friday, 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. For questions regarding access to DASNY records, please call (518) 257-3380.
The New York State Freedom of Information Law ("FOIL"), which is set forth in Article 6 of the Public Officers Law (Sections 84-90), requires that DASNY make its records available for public inspection or copying, except to the extent that records or portions thereof fall within one or more grounds for denial set for the FOIL statute.
The New York State Personal Privacy Protection Law ("PPPL"), which is set forth in Article 6-A of the Public Officers Law (§§91-99), is intended to protect your privacy by regulating the manner in which state agencies collect, maintain and disseminate personal information about you. The PPPL (i) grants you a right of access to records maintained by state agencies containing personal information about you; (ii) permits you to correct or amend information that is inaccurate or irrelevant; (iii) prohibits state agencies from collecting personal information that is irrelevant or unnecessary for their official purposes; (iv) requires that state agencies requesting personal information from you disclose why the information is being collected, how the information will be used, where the information will be maintained, and the consequences of failing to provide the requested information; and (v) protects you against disclosures of your personal information without your consent, except as specifically authorized in the law.
How to submit a FOIL request
All requests for records must be in writing and can be submitted online, mailed, emailed or faxed to the FOIL Access Administrator as set forth below. Please describe with reasonable detail the records that you are seeking. Please include relevant project information, dates, names, descriptions, time periods, etc. Also, please include your phone number and mailing address so we may contact you with any questions.
Submit your request using the Open FOIL NY online form:
Submit your request using mail, email, or fax:
Mailing address:
FOIL Access Administrator
515 Broadway
Albany, New York 12207-2964
Email: [email protected]ASNY.org
Fax: (518) 257-3380
How to appeal a denial of a FOIL request
If you've been denied access by the FOIL Access Administrator, you will be notified in writing. You have a right to appeal, but you must do so within 30 days. An appeal must be filed in writing and mailed or faxed to:
Records Access Appeals Officer
C/O Office of General Counsel
515 Broadway
Albany, New York 12207-2964
Current Subject Matter List
As of January 1, 2019
Unit: Business Continuity and Internal Controls
Administrative Policies and Procedures
Policies and Procedures back ground and development Files
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Control Self Assessments back ground and development Files
Internal Controls Certifications/Statements of Compliance
Internal Control Certification background and development Files
Internal Controls Training back ground and development Files
Unit: Budget and Payroll
Annual Operating Budget work papers, including salary budget
Journal Entries, including cash receipts and budget entries
Operating Fund working Files
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Payroll Registers and Master Controls
Management and Other Reports
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Travel Vouchers
Unemployment Records
Worker's Compensation Records
New York State Biweekly Tax Receipts
Unit: Building Services
Building Access and Visitor Logs and Security Video Tapes
Fire Safety, Alarm and Sprinkler Maintenance and Testing Records
Vehicle and Travel Records
Building Management Systems and Operation and Maintenance Manuals
Miscellaneous Building Management Contracts
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Unit: Communications and Marketing
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Unit: Human Resources
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Unit: Operations Administration
Authority Headquarters Files
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Project Invoices
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Address Book
Unit: Financial Management
Bond Transcripts
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Unit: Environmental Affairs
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Unit: Office of Professional Integrity
Case Files and related records
Training and background development Files
Intelligence Files


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We provide substantial residential and business tree solutions throughout Essex/ Suffolk. All our tree doctors are fully qualified and significantly experienced with love for trees and a high sense of satisfaction in our work. A personal service. No job too huge or also tiny. Carrying out elimination of solitary branches to complete woodland/ site clearances. In addition to tree surgery we also carry out bush cutting, secure fencing and basic landscape design, this puts us a cut over our rivals we are able to perform total jobs throughout.
Your regional Tree Surgeons
We run with a small team of eleven, which suggests we generally have three to 4 teams working with any offered day and provide a 24/7 emergency situation call-out. We aim to offer clients the highest possible requirements in tree job, outfitting and educating our teams to offer a full range of arboriculture, forestry and site clearance services. Commercial Elite Arborists agreement to several business clients such as real estate developments, local authorities, institutions, Bars, Landlord and a lot more. We have the ability to execute every little thing from checking to preparing for completion.
Ecology & Website Surveys
Elite Arborists are recognized specialists in ecology, arboriculture and environment management. We work for a series of industrial and domestic clients consisting of organizers, engineers and developers. Our group constantly provide a high level of solution and maintain our obligation to secure our future environment. Tree pruning Colchester Domestic Tree Surgical treatment We aim to provide clients with the highest possible criteria in tree job, gearing up and training our teams to supply a full series of arboriculture and forestry services. Supplied to you at economical prices. Commercial Tree Surgical treatment
Elite Arborists are skilled teams cover the Southern Counties & London. We operate with a small team of eleven, which implies we commonly have 3 to four teams servicing any kind of given day and provide a 24/7 emergency call-out Our expert group are extremely qualified with regular training We are constantly training and enlightening our staff, with a commitment to deal with any kind of challenge. All our Tree Arborists have actually been educated to the highest possible standards and are fully qualified to carry out different types of tree surgical treatment.


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Jaat Ki Jugni 9th May 2017 Written Episode Update
Jaat Ki Jugni 9th May 2017 Written Episode, Written Update on TellyUpdates.com
Savita confesses god how much she hates Munni as she could not become mother because of her. Bade Chaudhry married her and took promise to consider Munni as her daughter and not expect child. She wants to harm Munni. She lights lamp and says she wanted to make Chaudhry brothers fight and get them away from Munni. Match stick burns her hand. She asks god what he is indicating. Chaudhry/Bauji enters and asks if she burnt her hand and pampers her fingers. Bittu calls Chaudhry. Savita reminisces asking Munni to ask Bittu to run away with Jyoti and doctor and Munni saying he will not back off.
Bittu calls Chaudhry and his family down. Munni says she will stay on his side even if whole world goes against her and will help his truth. Bheem comes shouting why damadji is calling. Bittu asks
Dadaji gathers villagers and asks them to bring weapons. Masterji says it is against his principles, but he will accompany them. They all get into tractors and leave. Inspector stops them and asks where they are going. Dadaji says to play blood holi. Inpsector pulls gun and warns to get down. They kidnap inspector and his team and take them along toward Chaudhry's house.
Chaudhry picks his gun. Savita silently locks him in a room. Phool Kumari snatches gun from goon and warns everyone dare not to touch Bittu. Sunaina boasts that her husband will not spare her now. Phool Kumari asks Bheem to tell his wife how she burnt his bum. Bittu consoles Phool Kumari to calm down, they came here to for Jyoti and doctor. Savita asks Munni and Bittu that she locked Chaudhry in his room and asks to run away with doctor and Jyoti before he comes out. Chaudhry calls Bheem and Pratap to open door. Bheem says family itself betrayed, asks Pratap to open bhaisab's room door. Jyoti points knife at Munni and wanrs not to move. She with doctor kidnaps Munni and speeds in car.
Precap: Jyoti kidnaps Munni and takes her in car. Munni says she was always on her side. Jyoti throws her out of car and she falls from cliff. Bittu jumps from bike trying to hold her. They both hang on a tree. Bittu says brain says he will not be saved, but love says he wil and jumps into water. Munni shouts Bittu.
Update Credit to: MA


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16 February 2018 : Another day in the Life of a Game Ranger. God's creation in the wild.
- Details
- Category: Gods creation in the wild
- Written by Cameron Diedrick
- Hits: 751
16 February 2018
Friday was just one of the great days that make you wish all of them were like this; two packs of wild dogs with pups, two lion prides, two leopards and great general game all around! We had a mission to get to the hyena den early, and although the little baby wasn't out, the others were around and gave us a good sighting in the early morning – so good even a male warthog came to see what was going on! We tried to follow up on tracks for the lions that had been following the buffalo herd in the west, but the tracks for the buffalo were walking in circles and we weren't having luck with the lion tracks.
There had been luck though with Johannes finding Tshwukunyana male leopard and we made our way towards him, but we stopped off to see the wild dog den site first, and it was quite active considering it was late in the morning already! From there we passed lots of giraffe and some zebras on the way towards the leopard who was walking in a difficult area – some nyala and kudu spotted him and after the alarm calls, he disappeared and we couldn't relocate him; luckily less than 200m away, Mondzweni male leopard was sitting in the middle of the Nhlaralumi riverbed! Our drive ended off with a herd of 50-odd buffalo and some elephants before we closed down to complete a great morning for my guest on her birthday! As for the other sightings, a pack of 8 adult and 7 wild dog pups were found feeding on a steenbuck right by our lodge, and the pack even popped up on the dam well before moving east. The Western Pride of lions (8 adults and 1 cub) were also resting on our northern boundary.
With new guests, my plan was to track down the pack of wild dogs near the lodge before going to see the lions a little further west. With Difference on the tracks, we bumbled about, but were finding very little until we got a herd of elephants feeding along the banks of the Sohebele riverbed. Whilst with them, Difference let me know that he had found the dogs, and we shot off to try and get into position, which we eventually did and found the seven pups, probably around 4 months old playing around as the adults rested, but soon the pack got on their feet and moved off to the north; we followed until sunset and left them too it.
The Western Pride had got mobile, but sadly moved straight north into Ingwelala, so we decided to rather try for Machaton male leopard and his impala kill in the same area, but before we could get there, we found Inkanye female leopard standing in a marula tree checking her surrounds. She jumped down and wandered off, chasing a scrub hare with no luck before a hyena got too close and she charged it to move it along; satisfied that there was no food to be had, the hyena walked off and so did Inkanye. We followed for a while before leaving her to it and stopping for a late drink. The fireflies on the way home were another highlight of the drive that had many highlights! Yet another great day in the northern Timbavati!


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The Components of Top Security Awareness Programs
By Daniel Brecht
A good security awareness program is a great way to inform personnel on any kind of malicious activity targeting an enterprise's use of cyberspace. It is crucial that organizations' staff be wary of common fraud schemes, especially those targeting them rather than technical components of the infrastructure. Preparing staff to discover phishing or other types of cyber scams means providing a comprehensive system of training, policies and procedural instructions that could help recognize signs of malfeasance and report suspicious activity and not fall prey of scam artists. End-user training is one of the keys to the successful implementation of any security awareness program.


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Building on years of strong sales, Del Taco Inc. is planning its most ambitious expansion effort the next two years and has ramped up its sports marketing budget to get out the word.
Del Taco, the nation's second-largest Mexican restaurant chain, plans to open 120 restaurants in Western states this year and next, boosting the number of outlets to more than 500 in 12 states.
The privately held, 37-year-old Laguna Hills chain has signed promotional deals with eight teams in four states, including the Los Angeles Clippers and Utah Jazz in the NBA and the Phoenix Coyotes in the National Hockey League.
Although Del Taco's $700,000 annual budget for sports promotions is meager--less than 5% of Del Taco's total ad budget--a company can build name recognition using banners and handing out free promotions at sports arenas, said Keith Bruce, sports marketing director at advertising agency Foote, Cone & Belding.


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News and Reviews Gadget Technology: Latest LG Flatron M2280D with HD LED Technology Review
LG has just released their latest LED HDTV Technoligy and 3D TV to the market. Flatron M2280D will feature large size screen that has multitude function and it can be connected to the wide screen TV via HDTV connector.
LG Flatron M2280D only has 3.7 Kilos but it is really portability. For connectivity needs, M2280D completed with PCMCIA card, antenna, SCART connector, audio in out and component and Composite video graphics input. How about frequency support for this LCD screen? M2280D will support 30 to 83Hz for Horizontal Freq Bandwith Technology, on the other hand, it offers 56 to 75 Mhz for Vertical freq Bandwith, this LCD also support TV-tuner.
So, when you need a LCD that support for Full HD LED Technology screen, LG Flatron M2280D is the best choice for you.


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The Three Pillar Plan is Bishops continuous funding campaign. The Three Pillar plan is one that aims to raise capital and invest the funds as an endowmwent to generate interest with which to build the Bishops of the future. The campaign has three pillars that need financial support - People, Projects and Programmes.
The People Pillar embodies the concept of "Investment in human excellence" and is aimed at Staff, Scholarships & Bursaries. We have defined clear objectives for all funds: For example the Academic Bursary fund aim is to increase the number of bursaries from the current three to six per year per grade - a total of 30. The People Pillar funds will be invested in perpetuity so that the return on capital will generate the required income stream securing Bishop's future.
The Project Pillar - "Being able to offer world class facilities and opportunities" includes the faith in action outreach projects and more bricks and mortar plans such as the Rick Skeeles Pavilion and a Bishops clubhouse. These are long-term capital projects that will take effect as the specific project funds become available.
The Programmes Pillar – The programmes included here are building up the General Endowment Fund which will produce an income which can be directed to special needs as and when they appear. Another specific programme is building up a fund called the Staff Salary Augmentation Fund, the interest from which will provide income which can be directly applied to augmenting staff salaries so that the school can both attract and maintain staff of the highest calibre. The third main programme is building a culture of legacies and bequests, by inviting people to include Bishops in their Wills.
Of these three pillars, the first area that has been identified as the most significant to the whole school programme is Scholarships. The funding of scholarships will create a pillar of support which will have far-reaching and enduring benefits for both school and pupils. For Scholarships therefore we invite boys of exceptional talent in Academic, Sports or Music into the Bishops family to strengthen and to further boost our reputation as a centre of excellence.
This is an admirable feature of most independent schools and we support bursary funding. Bursaries are awarded to boys who would not otherwise be able to attend the school, whose families are experiencing financial difficulties. A vital part of this pillar is the OD Bursary fund which aims to assist boys of good character, whose fathers or grandfathers are OD's and would like to continue the tradition but cannot find the financial support themselves. We would like to help them continue the legacy into the next generation.
Staff Development
We are all aware of the vital role which teachers play in the lives of the boys and the School. We are also aware of the critical shortage of teachers devoted to the broad and extensive curriculum and standards expected at Bishops. Our aim is also to offer our existing staff the opportunities to develop their professional interests and areas of specialisation. More than a century of history and tradition has benefited the school and the boys who are members of it in so many ways: outstanding facilities situated on a campus which is one of the finest of any school in South Africa; a loyal and strong family; and a teaching faculty that is widely admired for its professionalism, dedication and hardworking ability to weave magic in the lives of boys in the School.
We would also like to offer incentives and reward staff and to attract 'the best of the best' in teaching and coaching. Trainees and Internships bring vigour and energy and we need to invite and host them here at Bishops.
Outreach and Community Development
Community relations and outreach has been an understated activity at Bishops for many years and we are proud of what we have achieved. The impact on individuals and communities both in the Bishops Family and in the chosen community has rippled through the School. How our young men discover the future depends on the humanity of all the lessons we bring to them; so we gather people from different backgrounds, religions, countries and races and we trust them – to work and live together, to develop insights and abandon prejudices. We want our students to honour the privileges that they have received, to become independent, rational and compassionate citizens of the world, to respect the environment and to contribute meaningfully to their communities.
Buildings and facilities
The second pillar is Projects and this includes creating new facilities and upgrading existing buildings.
At the heart of any good school are its people but, in order to work well together, they need facilities and resources commensurate with their skills. The school manages its budget prudently and invests every year in refurbishment and ongoing upgrades but some projects require more money than is generated by fee income, like the recent refurbishment of the boarding houses. Whilst the facilities at Bishops have improved immeasurably in recent years, the need for further developments in some vital areas is compelling. Recent developments here include the re-building of the new Heatlie Pavilion, and the beautiful Skeeles Pavilion on Lutgensvale, which was opened in August 2011, and is already a valuable addition to the Lutgensvale fields complex.
General Endowment Fund
The Bishops Endowment Fund is an important source of income as it directly supports faculty and students, ongoing technology and facilities needs as well as other Bishops priorities. The fund offers OD's, parents and friends of Bishops a special opportunity to support the highest current priorities of the School through their annual unrestricted giving. Most importantly, this broad-based support reflects the combined philanthropy of generations of Bishops family who give generously at all levels. Bishops have endowments held in common investment funds and segregated or discretionary funds
Staff Salaries Augmentation Fund
All successful schools face a similar challenge how to generate income to keep the school fees in line with inflation and yet keep the staff salaries above inflation. The best solution is to create a fund that Council can call on to adjust the balance when necessary, as without this fund, fees could escalate beyond market relativity.
Legacies have in recent years become increasingly favoured as a means of charitable giving. A gift to Bishops in a will proclaims confidence that we will be making a difference to the lives of bright, talented young boys for generations to come.


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We talk about value a lot in agile. The whole point of agile is often given as "the ability to deliver value quickly". Lean looks at value streams and flows of value. But when we say value, what do we really mean? What is value? The dictionary tells us that value is "the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something."
So value describes something that is important to someone. But who? When we ask ourselves this question, we usually come up with and answer of - "the customer". This isn't a wrong answer, customer value has to be our of our key drivers. Make the customer happy by giving them what they want. That's the key to business success. But note that I said "one of our key drivers", not "our key driver". There are other "someones" out there who are also important, and often get forgotten. What about the organisation itself? Its employees?
We have all seen the press releases come out. The CTO of some big organisation proudly announces that with this new agility thing they are now able to release to market every three months instead of yearly. Great news isn't it? Great endorsement of agile techniques, isn't it? Have you ever worked in one of those organisations? What is it like working in the delivery teams for one of those organisations? Is it, as the press release seems to indicate, some sort of IT workers' paradise where features flow easily into production and there are smiles and profits for all?
Or does it feel like an endless treadmill where releasing every three months just means jumping through all the hoops you had to jump through for the yearly releases but now instead of doing it once a year you are doing it all the time? Where the nightmare month you used to have once a year to push the release kicking and screaming out the door is now your normal workload? Chances are, it's not the first one. Feeling burned out? Are we achieving our results by throwing away one of our key principles - the principle of sustainable pace?
Last time we looked at the trend towards massive scale in the agile community and some of the problems scale leads to. We looked at an alternative approach. A scaled down approach -
"Imagine, instead of a huge program, we have small groups of teams, say 2-5 teams in a group. Each group manages its own stakeholders, environments, dependencies and the like. Each group is directly aligned to a set of business stakeholders with a common set of outcomes, is funded through an investment pool aligned to business outcomes, not specific project deliverables, and delivers value end to end for the stakeholder group."
This approach would allow the organisation to deliver value efficiently without the need for massive scaled structures and the complexity and inefficiencies that go along with them. The only problem of course is that such a structure is impossible in most organisations because they are built around large programs and large platforms and simply don't have the ability, architecture or processes to handle a scaled down operation.
So where to from here? Can we move beyond scaled approaches to a scaled down approach? I think we can and the first step in that journey is to scale up.
There has been a trend recently within the agile community to embrace massive scale. Not just a few teams working together but really large groups. Every day we see examples of bigger programs, larger release trains, all successfully being managed through agile techniques. Just recently, a colleague ran a PI planning event for close to 1000 people spread across three countries. I have seen other organisations proudly boasting that they have "the largest release train in the southern hemisphere", with some figures on the incredible budgets that the train is managing. The SAFe framework now has 4 levels rather than 3 to enable it to manage bigger and bigger structures. Less has Less-huge to do the same.
While I celebrate the achievements of the coaches successfully helping organisations achieve this, and the incredible feat of facilitation that a 1000 person, 3 country PI event must be, I can't help worrying that this drive towards massive scale is not altogether a good thing. Large companies want scale because that's the way they are used to working. They are used to thinking in terms of large programs of work involving hundreds of people. In order to help them, we have developed techniques that allow us to handle this sort of scale. But just because we can do something, it does not automatically follow that we should do something. There are significant downsides to scale.


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You know what they say about horns right? The bigger the horns, the more muscle he needs to support the weight of them. I wonder if this guy has a muscular neck. I guess you don't have to worry about it, you're only wearing the Big Horns Devil Mask.
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Focus on the Family Broadcast >> All Episodes
Finding God's Mercy When Life is Messy (Part 1 of 2)
Air Date 02/17/2015Get Social and Listen
Author Vicki Courtney encourages parents of prodigals to develop an authentic faith by allowing God to meet them in the midst of the emotional and relational challenges they face with their children. (Part 1 of 2)
Listen here, watch recent episodes on our YouTube channel, or download our app.
Jim Daly: Vicki, is there a simple formula to doing parenting as a Christian? So, if you do A, B, and C, you get the result you want?
Vicki Courtney: Absolutely not. I think sometimes we wish there were, but no, there is not.
End of Teaser
John Fuller: Well, there is hope though for every parent and we hope to give you, if not a formula, some encouragement along the path. And our guest on "Focus on the Family" with Jim Daly is Vicki Courtney. I'm John Fuller and Jim, this should be an interesting program for those who think there's a formula, but are perhaps finding out, not so much.
Jim: Hey, John, I think we all want to hope in that and I think in some cases, you know, it does work. You do certain right things. It's like the book of Proverbs, when you do right things, oftentimes you get good results. It's simply true though, that it's not always the case and I know parents, we beat each other up because we have a situation or we have a son or daughter who goes a direction that we're not pleased with. And we're thinking, what have we done wrong? Where did we miss it?
John: I gotta take all the "My son is an honor student," at this school—
Jim: (Laughing) Right.
John: --I'll take those bumper stickers off now.
Jim: Right and yet, at the same time as Christian parents, we want to do the best job we can do and that's a good thing. Scripture tells us in Hebrews 13:8, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday forever." And that is true and so, that's what we need to rest in as we parent, as we live our lives, as we are husbands and wives to our spouses. I'm looking forward to what I would call a dose of reality.
John: Well, our guest, as I said, is Vicki Courtney and she's the founder of Virtuous Reality Ministries. She's a popular speaker, author of a number of books and the one that forms the basis for our conversation today is called Move On: When Mercy Meets Your Mess.
Jim: Vicki, it's great to have you at Focus.
Vicki: Well, thanks so much for having me.
Jim: When you talk about "the mess," do many of us as Christian parents, Christian households, do we hide beyond a veneer a bit? And there's stuff goin' on that is messy, but we just don't talk about it?
Vicki: Oh, absolutely; we all have messes going on, but I think what I've seen in my, you know, 28 plus years as a believer now, is that there's this tendency to lapse into the "Pretender Game," is what I call it.
Jim: Pretender Game.
Vicki: Yes, yes.
Jim: What does that look like?
Vicki: Okay, so you walk into church on a Sunday morning and you paint the trademark smile on your face. You hopefully have a good number of people, you know, "Hey, how are you? How're you doin'?" And you know, we usually give the default answer, "I'm great; I'm great; doin' well. And you?" And yet, behind the scenes at times and sometimes things are clicking along and going great, right? But then there are other times when they're not and yet, we still answer in the same way and feel that pressure to maybe present ourselves and our family as having it all together.
Jim: Now this really came home for you, because you were writing on virtue and you know, training your children to stay sexually pure before marriage and all of a sudden, something hits you right between the eyes. What happened?
Vicki: Sure, I was about to turn in a book called 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son and one of those conversations has to do with sexual purity, of course. And my oldest boy had just graduated from college and was home for a few months. He was engaged to be married. And so, during that time, you know, he had a job fortunately and was going into work. And that morning he left for work and 15 minutes later, he walked back through the door. And I had the hard copy manuscript sitting on my lap at the time he walked through the door and I was actually working on conversation No. 3, talking about sexual purity.
And he walked through the door and I could tell something was up and said, "Hey, did you forget something?"And he said, "Mom, I can't stand it another minute. I had to come back and tell you, I think Casey is pregnant."
Jim: His fiancée.
Vicki: Yes, his fiancée. And at that point, I got up and met him, you know, halfway and I was not a writer. I was not a speaker in that moment. I was a mother and I was also someone whose own life had been greatly impacted by God's grace and mercy.
And so, I did what came naturally and wrapped my arms around him and we wept together and I said, "You know, we're gonna get through this." And from that point on, you know, [we] took positive steps forward.
But of course, you know, we all have that tendency, you think, "Oh, no." There was a moment that came later like, "Yikes! This is not good timing," right? (Laughing)
Jim: Well, yeah, I mean to unpack that a little further, I mean, you had a lot of options in front of you in terms of how you would respond. Sounds like you responded as you should have, a loving mother. I think sometimes as Christian parents, when we're confronted with that situation or something similar, it may not be exactly that, it can test your depth of your relationship with Christ and how much we put into our relationship with our children and are they embarrassing us?
Vicki: Right.
Jim: But talk about that, because I think in many Christian households, that's the standard we hold. Don't embarrass me.
Vicki: Right, right.
Jim: And that's now helpful.
Vicki: No and I need to confess, too, that there was a time when that very much was a temptation for me, to not cover up, but just not talk about that rebellious teenager, not talk about some of the challenges that were going on behind the veil, if you will.
And I think, especially for mothers, a lot of times, we worry that it's an indictment on our parenting. If we've invested all this into raising our children, then we take it personally. Like, well, we must have done something wrong, because as you guys said, you know, at the front of the program, I think we like to think there might be a formula. And if you check off all the right things and you make sure your kids, you know, they do VBS when they're little and they listened to all those old Bible Psalty tapes. Remember them? (Laughter)
Vicki:VeggieTales, right. (Laughter)
Jim:Adventures in Odyssey.
Vicki: Right, my kids loved that. And so, you know.
Jim: But they're not foolproof plans. The point to that is, that God gives every human being a choice and—
Vicki: Right.
Jim: --you have to make good choices. And as parents, what we're trying to do and should be trying to do is, [to] teach our children how to make good choices. They're gonna be confronted with things. Vicki, let me ask you in your book, Move On, there is that connection and transition that you made, because you came to the Lord in your college years and you know, you had some living under your belt and you knew what it was like. You mentioned you had an abortion when you were a teenager. Those are tough things.
In that context, that 80 percent, 20 percent thing, maybe 80 percent of Christians have experiences in their life like that, where they have fallen down, the Lord has showed them mercy and grace and they then can extend it. And then there's that 20 percent. They've lived a pretty good life. They were raised in Christian homes. They've never really stumbled in big ways. Are they more prone to that legalism that you talked about? Or are we all simply prone to it?
Vicki: You know, yeah, I love that question. My husband's in the 20 percent, actually the top 5 percent probably. (Laughing)
Jim: Yeah and I just used those randomly.
Vicki: No, I like that. In fact, I joke in a lot of my, you know, I've written about it and when I get to speak, I share it sometimes, that he was the overachiever. I mean, and I don't say that lightly, I mean, Valedictorian of Chemical Engineering at the University of Texas—
Jim: Wow.
Vicki: --overachiever academically. He was the good Christian guy. He had kind of the checklist of what, you know, he was looking for in a future wife. And I only met one requirement and that is, she loves Jesus. And so, everything else, you know, he threw the list out, because God very clearly showed him, you will be a great match with this gal and vice versa. It took me a while to see that I had strengths in areas where he had weaknesses.
Jim: Sure.
Vicki: But all that to say, I think because he really is just naturally, it's almost a personality or a temperament I believe, too. Not always, but if you're raised in a secure home, we've seen this with our own children. My daughter--I have two sons and a daughter--she was more like her dad. She just likes to follow the rules. And so, he's like that, too. But I do think that personality can lean more toward a sense of legalism.
Jim: Well, and I guess I loaded that question a bit, because you have these battles within the church. Let me say it this way, those that can live the old covenant life well, meaning the Old Testament—
Vicki: Oh, yes.
Jim: --they live it well. They do the Ten Commandments. They heed them well. They follow them well.
Vicki: Uh-hm.
Jim: I think there's a potential for that person to be the legalist and then why isn't that person living it well or maybe what I'm trying to say here is, how do we absorb God's grace, which is the New Covenant under Christ? That He's died for us, that He's covered our sins before our heavenly Father? That's a hard thing for a righteous person—
Vicki: Uh-hm.
Jim: --to yield to, that I didn't earn it, back to performance.
Vicki: Right.
Jim: How do we balance that?
Vicki: Yeah, I think my marriage has been a great example (Laughter) of that. We've had to learn, you know, and really, my husband, he's a wonderful and godly man, but he's one of these that, I think as you described that, he looks at the situation and he's like, why can't people just follow the rules?
Jim: Live it well.
Vicki: Right. And I'm over here like, well, there are those of us, honey and my youngest son is my personality. He's my little "mini-me." And go figure, he's the hardest teenager out of the three of our kids, too. But I said, there are some of us that even though we know the rules, we have to learn them the hard way. And sometimes we have to relearn them again and again and again. And that's where grace and mercy, it comes to life. And so, yeah. It's a balance definitely.
John: Well, our guest on "Focus on the Family" is Vicki Courtney. We're talking about grace and mercy and she's written about those in the book, Move On. The pre-title I guess is what you'd call it, Vicki, is You Can Stay Where You Are, Or You Can Get Honest and Move On. And we're talking about really grabbing onto God in those moments where you might be angry with Him or bitter or confused or struggling with performance as a Christian. And you can find out more about the book and resources to help you in your faith walk at www.focusonthefamilyh.com/radio.
Jim: Vicki, let me ask you this. Is there a litmus test that we can say, oh, I gotta be careful. I'm becoming judgmental? Where is that line? It seems to not be point A to B. It seems to be more jagged.
Vicki: It's very jagged. And again, I think this is where the Holy Spirit comes in and gives us one of those nudges. I know for me, you know, even though I'm more prone to lapsing more into grace and mercy, than like rules and the law, there came a time early on when I was a young mother and had been a believer for five to eight years, where I began to feel more secure with the formula, as you referred to it.
Jim: Well, it gives you structure.
Vicki: It does and see, for me, I wasn't raised in a Christian home. I'm still young enough that I'm flashing back to the things that I did, right? And it created a lot of collateral damage in my life and so, as that mother, I'm desperate for my kids to be spared from those decisions and those choices. And so, I latch on to this formula, even though, you know, we should know better. And so, God showed me along the way that, you know, you know what He does? They grow up and they become teenagers, right? (Laughter)
Jim: Well, I've heard God said …
Vicki: It's a nice way [He] showed me along the way. They turned 13 is what happened.
Jim: I love the saying that God is the father of teenagers. All of us act like teenagers, but the point of that is, it does come out of a good heart, a heart to protect and to do the right thing. But at the same time, again those kids have choices and they're gonna make choices. And you gotta be careful not to recriminate yourself or your spouse for not being the father or the mother that they should be. There's always room for improvement, but—
Vicki: Right.
Jim: --I think we're—
Vicki: Right.
Jim: --we're very hard on ourselves as Christian parents when our kids make bad choices. And what do you do? I mean, you had that situation. What are the healthy next steps when your child comes to you at 15 or 16 or in your case, when you were 17 and you were pregnant. How did that work in your family when you were the teenager?
Vicki: Well, I didn't tell anyone about it. You know, I hid that and I wasn't raised in a Christian home, so for me, you know, at the time, well, I didn't run around saying I'm pro-choice, I'm pro-choice. But when the rubber hit the road and I found out I was pregnant, I wish I could tell you that there was some sort of, you know, time period where I thought about what is my decision?
And so, of course, I'm very, of course, pro-life now, but in looking back at it then, you know, this is in the 80's and I think there really wasn't a lot of just heartfelt conversations going on in homes, whether they were Christian homes or non-Christian homes. There wasn't a lot of sitting down, you know, parents with kids and saying, "Hey, you know, no matter what you're going through, this is the safe place where you can bring your problems."
One thing that I did do, because I wanted my children to feel like our home was a safe place and it is such a, oh, as you said, an awkward, you know, balance, because then you almost don't want to give 'em permission to go mess up, right?
Jim: Uh-hm.
Vicki: So, if you tell them this is a safe place, there's nothing that you can't come tell us, then your fear in the back of your mind is, "Oh, great. Did I just like you know, give them permission to go out and go to the party this weekend and drink alcohol or whatever that is, have sex outside of marriage?"
But we told our kids that and I went a step further with my kids and said, "I hope and pray you can save sex until you are married. But if you mess up in that area and you find out you're expecting a child, I want you to remember my story, because I have tremendous regret over that decision that I made and this is a human life."
And so, my son [and fiancée] they never gave it a second thought when they found out that they were expecting. And I'm grateful for that, because I hear from women who tell me, you know, I was raised in [a] Christian home and my dad was, you know, a deacon or an elder or maybe on staff. I found out I was pregnant. They wouldn't understand and I had an abortion.
Jim: Well, and that kinda goes back to your pretend comment and there are several thoughts running through my mind right now, so let me try to give them to you one at a time and have you respond to them. So often in our Christian parenting, we're reinforcing a performance orientation. In other words, you gotta be careful. Don't mess up, because in essence, what we're saying, we don't mean to do it, but we're saying, God's grace isn't sufficient.
Vicki: Right.
Jim: That's what we're really saying to them, that it's about living a perfect life and if you mess up, oh, man, you're in trouble. And as opposed to teaching them that life is full of trouble, that we're sinners by nature and that what has happened for us is, that Jesus has died for our sins. It says right there in Scripture, that all things are permissible, but not all things are worthwhile, right?
Vicki: Right.
Jim: And so, God is sufficient. He has covered those sins, but we need to teach our children, this is part two I guess, that we need to teach them the wisdom to choose wisely--
Vicki: Right.
Jim: --and know that it doesn't come from fear. It comes out of love, the love that God has for us. And in response to that love, we want to choose wisely to show our love toward our heavenly Father. It's hard to do that when we're on the performance track, where you act—
Vicki: It is.
Jim: --this way and if you don't act this way, the holy hammer's comin' down on you.
John: Hm.
Vicki: Right.
Jim: How do we do a better job of equipping our kids, our teenagers to understand this? Because if we're honest, not a lot of us understand it.
Vicki: Right, for me and for my family, that "come to Jesus" moment that you know, we were leaning more toward rules and regulations, even in our home and I'm ashamed to say, at some level our parenting had more of a theme of behavior modification, rather than, hey, let's get down to the heart of the matter.
So, our "come to Jesus" moment was that third child of ours that I just mentioned was like my mini-me, the one that has to learn some lessons the hard way. And he tells the story, he's real active in Young Life leadership in his college years now.
And he had to fill out an application in his freshman year of college sharing his story. And so, you know, here's a kid who has been in the church, raised going to church all his life. He was active in FCA and all kinds of stuff and he was one that, you talk about playing the pretender game. This kiddo could, he was there on Sunday, leading in you know, his youth department. And then he was out there with the world the rest of the week.
And so, I was doing a lot of writing then and I would bust him by reading his messages on his phone. I unapologetically was one of those moms. But all that to say, you know, he was a difficult teenager.
And his moment was right before he went off to start his college years and I knew that something wasn't right, that he was straying once again. And he shared this in his application, telling his story. And when he let me read it, he sent it to me and I'll never forget, 'cause I was sitting in a parking lot, about to go into a Starbucks. I thought, I'm gonna read this. And I just wept in my car, because it was one of those inside glimpses that parents get as your kids get older.
Jim: He was honest.
Vicki: Right and what he said was, you know, my parents, they gave me this foundation, you know, I mean, long story short, I'm summarizing, of course. And he said, "I made a lot of bad choices." And he said, "There was a moment where a couple months ago, my mom came into my room and said, 'You know, the Holy Spirit just dropped it into my heart that you are not on the right path. I can't put my finger on it. You're too old now'"--he's 18 at that point, about to head out the door—" 'for me to go through your phone.'"
"'But at this point I feel like, you know, Hayden, what I want to tell you is that, your father and I have done everything we can to offer you this foundation of faith. And now it is up to you to decide whether you want to pursue the abundant life in Christ or not. But as you well know, you know, when you make poor choices, there's fallout. And some choices bring a great deal of pain and heartache and fallout. But when we walk closely with Christ, then you know, we experience the yield, the Spirit-filled life, you know, the bounty that comes from a life lived, you know, walking closely with Him.'"
And so, I put the ball in his court and I said, you know, "You don't need to confess anything to me. That's not my place. You confess it to God, right?" And so, instead of like doing a kinda, you need to get your act together; I think you're going out with the wrong people; you're hanging out with the wrong kiddos; you know, you're gone on the weekends. I'm not really sure if you're drinking, you know, again or what it is that you're doing. Instead of lapsing into any of that, I pulled it more back to, you know, and then I asked him a really hard question. I said, "Hayden, do you feel at peace with the Lord—
Jim: Hm.
Vicki: --with where you are right now in your life? And if that answer is no, then I would encourage you with a godly sorrow that leads to repentance, that you go before the Lord and you ask Him to help you start anew."
Jim: Let me ask you this now that your kids are all in their late 20s now, I'm assuming. You've talked very transparently, which is helpful for all of us. I'm assuming you have their permission to do this (Chuckling).
Vicki: I do; I do.
Jim: And then the follow-up question to that is, you had that discussion at 18 with your rebellious child.
Vicki: Right.
Jim: Would you have had that in hindsight? Would you have wanted to do that at 13 or 14—
Vicki: Yes.
Jim: --to put some of that responsibility or—
Vicki: Uh-hm.
Jim: --more of that responsibility on him?
Vicki: Absolutely.
Jim: Why do we hesitate in that regard? We try to continue to mother and father? I mean, I'm right there with 14- and 12-year-olds. And my inclination is to give them more of that responsibility now, to have that chat with them now, to say, hey, we're doin' the best we can do, but you own this. You're big enough to own this now. You're mature enough to own this. Is it wise to do it as early as you can?
Vicki: Yes, I believe, if I could go back and we did actually have a couple times prior to that, right around when he was probably 15, 16 and we were beginning to discover he was leading a double life, if you will.
Jim: Yeah.
Vicki: We did. You know, we would sit him down and say, you know, Hayden, rather than us dole out the punishment, which was always my tendency, you know and I always "overgrounded." I don't know, every family has a parent that "overgrounds."(Laughter) And then you're like, oh.
John: I mean, like you're grounded for six months—
Vicki: Right.
John: --that kind of thing?
Vicki: Yes, now I'm stuck taking you to school. (Laughter)
Jim: Jean always that to me, I overstate what I'm gonna do.
Vicki: Right.
Jim: You know, you are—
Vicki: Same here.
Jim: --never eating for another year. (Laughter)
Vicki: And you're never—
Jim: It doesn't work well.
Vicki: --leaving the house and then you're stuck with 'em—
John: Yeah.
Vicki: --all the time.
Jim: Yeah. Jean'll always gently say to me, could you make the consequence a little more reasonable?
Vicki: Right. (Laughter) Right. That was actually my husband who would nudge me and go, don't do the "overgrounding" thing, you know?
Jim: Yeah.
Vicki: But yeah, I would lean more toward that, you know, here's the punishment and you need to get your act together and clean it up and all of that. And then right around 15, 16, I realized with this child, that was not effective.
Jim: Let me ask you this though, when you talk about your own experience again, where you made some poor choices as a 17-year-old girl. At what age should you have that vulnerability with your child? You know, there's age-appropriate vulnerability. So, you would speak differently with your 9-year-old daughter about that than you would your 15-year-old daughter.
Vicki: Absolutely.
Jim: Talk about the wisdom of how to talk about your own experiences as a woman when you were a teenager, with your teenage daughter.
Vicki: Yeah, for me, you know, in certain painful parts of my past, I just prayed and asked God to show me clearly when the right time would be to share with my children some of the mistakes that I made. But I caution moms when I talk about this on the road and when I've written about it, as well.
We never, ever dump things on our children from a place of, you know, we're not even walking in victory, to where we're looking to our child in a sense to come along and support us or console us. And so, we make sure we're walking in victory from whatever that is and we speak with a confidence over God's grace and mercy that was extended to us.
And so, for me, like take the abortion for example, I did share with each of my three children at three different ages. I can't remember exactly what ages they were, but they were all probably 14 or older.
Jim: So, it was appropriate for them--
Vicki: Right, right.
Jim: --in their maturity level.
Vicki: And it had come up naturally in conversation. So, yeah, it's just being very attentive to the Holy Spirit's direction in that and when the time's right.
Jim: Vicki Courtney, we have talked about many good things today, that life isn't perfect, God meets us in our messiness, which is the title of your book, Move On, When Mercy Meets Your Mess. We've talked about how to make your home a safe place, a place of reality, not pretend.
Vicki: Right.
Jim: And I think that's one of the core things, John. It's hard to do, because we want our children to see a good life, a good life in Christ. And you know, sometimes like the Lord demonstrated, He walks with messiness, with the woman at the well, with the woman caught in adultery, with the tax collector, with the Pharisees. Those were all messy situations. He chose to walk with us in our messiness.
John: Uh-hm.
Jim: I am intrigued about pursuing the parenting role a bit more. Let's come back next time, if you can stick with us and talk about the hope that we have in living a good Christian life. Can we do that?
Vicki: Absolutely, would love that.
John: And I do hope you'll join us next time as we share more about that authentic, honest Christian faith with our guest Vicki Courtney. Now be sure to get a copy of her book, Move On: When Mercy Meets Your Mess, in which as you can tell through this conversation, she really beautifully weaves her personal journey and testimony with some sometimes challenging thoughts about faith. Each chapter closes with thought-provoking questions, so you can journal about those or even ask those in a small group context.
And today, when you make a donation to Focus on the Family of any amount, a gift of 20 or 30 or $50, we'll send a copy of Move On, as our way of saying thank you. Look for that book or a CD or a download of this program at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio or call for details. Our number is 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY; 800-232-6459.
Our program was provided by Focus on the Family and made possible by generous listeners like you. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for listening in. I'm John Fuller, inviting you back tomorrow for more trusted advice from Vicki Courtney about authenticity, as you walk with God and we once again, offer encouragement to help you and your family thrive in Christ.
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