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Your one-stop, source of information and resources regarding: Spa, Massage Therapy, Beauty, Well-being and Wellness (with a focus on the Philippines) by Eunice
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
A Journey to Massage, Spa, Health and Wellness
A Journey to Massage, Spa, Health and Wellness
By Eunice
It was in the early months of 2000. I have been coughing for the past one month but have no signs and symptoms of having tuberculosis or pneumonia aside from consistent cough and a painful back. I just returned to my position working as a travel and timeshare sales and marketing executive for the past three years and I was thinking that maybe it was due to the very cold temperature inside the hotel. Everyday it was like winter inside the presentation area and because all of our directors were Westerners, we were stuck in a position where all of us have to adjust to their preferences in temperature and corporate culture. I can no longer ignore what I was feeling so I went straight to a pulmonologist and decided to submit myself to an examination. Medical history was taken and the specialist decided to have my sputum and X-ray checked just in case. Both results were normal except that I have dextro-scoliosis for which the pulmonologist referred me to another specialist- this time an orthopedic doctor who told me that my condition cannot be helped any other means except by surgery. Feeling dismayed that medicine cannot help me with my condition, I sought also the help of my friend who was a physical/occupational therapist and yes, she verified that the only solution to scoliosis is surgery. But I can also help myself not to make it worse, she said. She gave me exercise movements to be done everyday so my condition will not worsen. So, reluctantly I have accepted my condition. While I was searching online for a cure, I found that massage can alleviate symptoms so I have tried it and it helped ease my back pains. So, I started to look at massage therapy in a different context, I started to look for alternative medicine as a career. I was not able to find a medical degree leading to a doctorate in Alternative Medicine but I found out that there is such thing as Licensure for Massage Therapist. This was my first step in my journey to massage, spa, beauty, health and wellness. From that time forth, the rest was history.
Two years thereafter, I have been feeling weak and sick. I am having difficulty breathing whenever I walk or come up and down the stairs. Even if it's just some light work, I get tired easily. I feel fatigued almost all of the time, I have chest pains and shortness of breath. Being someone from the medical background, I sought medical help immediately. The internal medical physician told me to seek the professional help of a cardiologist. I thought to myself, "why a cardiologist? I thought it was my lungs again?" Even if I was not convinced, I still heeded his advise and went to a cardiologist who asked me to undergo an echocardiogram (ECG) and some running test. The result? I have MVP or Mitral Valve Prolapse in my heart (to be specific it was in the Posterior Mitral Valve leaflet). I read again the results, I have MVP or Mitral Valve Prolapse. What again? MVP? Most Valuable Player? Like in basketball? Hehehe…. What is that? ano kamo? I must have been asleep or absent when that was taught in school because I cannot find it within the recesses of my stock knowledge. So I asked the cardiologist to please explain my condition. He said that I have a condition in my heart also known as "click murmur syndrome" and "Barlow's syndrome". This is the most common heart valve abnormality, affecting five to ten percent of the world population. I thought," yeah right Doc, you are just saying that to pacify me." So where did I contract it, where did I get it from? Is it a disease? An infection? He said "the Mitral Valve Prolapse (MVP) syndrome has a strong hereditary tendency, although the exact cause is unknown. It is seen most commonly in women from 20 to 40 years old, but also occurs in men". By this time, I am already correlating data in my mind from my previous medical history and was wondering "My dextroscoliosis is idiopathic (meaning of unknown cause) and now another condition, MVP is also of unknown origin?" Again, the cardiologist said, there are no cure for it except if I went ahead and do surgery, which is not really necessary, he said. As it's not really a cure. Since my MVP condition was a classic one because I have mitral regurgitation, he told me to not to stress myself too much especially physically and not to worry too much. There is no cure.
To make matters worse (or should I say better?), when I searched online about MVP complications, it includes in rare circumstances—cardiac arrest, usually resulting in sudden death. Ahhh, at least a prayer of mine has been answered because I asked the Lord not to make my death long and hard. Hehehe…..anyway, I just kept on praying and hoping for the best. You may feel that it's morbid to think about death, but actually it's more unhealthy to live in denial of death and what will inevitably happen in the future. We need to think more of eternity, not less.
In 2007, I was also diagnosed to have endometrial polyp and intramural myoma (both are said to be abnormal growths) to which the gynecologist told me the only solution are two ways: conceive a baby or undergo sugery. Again, both of these do not promise that it will not grow again. By this time, I am already aware of some alternative and complementary therapies so I sought the help of one Meetup member who is a doctor but also into complementary medicine. No other than Dra. Naomi. She explained to me that my condition was very easy to cure. She gave me a lifestyle check including food: what to eat and what not to eat. That time I was still eating red meat but slowly getting off of it. So, I decided to take her advise seriously.
You know, when you are faced with death on your face, you get to evaluate you life and your lifestyle. I was then reminded by God to cling to him. I remember the time that God and I made a pact, this was a long time ago that once I get to accomplish what He (God) has entrusted me to do on Earth (whatever that is) I am free to go. He is free to take me home. Since the time that I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, I do not fear death. My only request to God was: I do not like to suffer- it should not be a violent death or a long hard death. But, we do not get to choose when and where our birth and death will be. All we can do is ask God to grant our prayers. Well, after being given the advise from the doctor that they cannot do anything and there is no real cure for my condition (again). This time, I decided to undergo surgery but I have to give other ways a try. "If these trials (the complementary therapies) will not work after three months, I will go under the knife" I said to msyself.
During that time, I have gotten into self-reflection. It's ironic because I only slow down when I am faced with life threatening illness or danger or physical ailment. Ewan ko ba lagi akong parang nagmamadali...hahaha....kahit sa mall my sister would always remind me ano ka ba ateng? we need to stroll and walk not pace fast. Most of the time naman, I get so caught up with work and other things to do that I am always in a hurry. At other times, I forget eating because I am so engrossed with work. Yes, at times for the whole day when I have an activity, dinner na ako makakakain. I was also reminded by God to slow down. As I read Psalms 46:10, it said, "be still and know that I am God". Ouch! There I am again noh? Being reminded by God to take things slow and not to forget Him even in our daily lives not only on Sundays. During those times, as we were also talking with Dra. Naomi she said that prayer is also very powerful and there were scientific researches which showed that whenever you pray for something especially food that you are about to take, it energizes the molecules of food thereby giving you more boost and healing along the way. So I also started a prayer vigil for my healing. After three months of extensive health diet and lifestyle conditioning- and boy! It's hard….really hard because I have to have the discipline to really eat only this much, eat only this, do only this and not do that. My body was complaining because it is not used to a "really" healthy lifestyle and when I started out this new lifestyle, my diet was all raw and vegan. As if I have cancer. I ate raw food and a lot of seaweeds! Only fruits for a start and vegetables but nothing with face on it. Eh di siyempre, yung katawan ko manghihina the first few days pa lang. I was trembling because of hunger as I was used to carbohydrate based food. But after I got my system in check, detoxified myself, a week thereafter, my body started to move in directions that my mind wants it to go. Since then I have not indulged in red meat particulary pork- sabi nga nila naging muslim na daw ako. But then again, come to think of it, they have a point not to eat pork because it's really not healthy, it poisons our body. Pork is very hard to digest and assimilate. So, after three months, to be able to finally confirm if my new lifestyle was effective, I have to go back to my gynecologist and have myself checked again. This time, during the ultrasound while the gynecologist was looking for the myoma- she was saying, "bakit nawala? Anong ginawa mo?" after an extensive search, the gynecologist gave up and said "nothing" and my results where normal. Thank God. It was a miracle. God used Meetup for me to meet people like Dr. Naomi, encouragements and prayers from my friends, family and Ted, diet and lifestyle to heal me.
But my story will not end here, remember I have dextroscoliosis and the doctor said also there is no cure? I went to this fire and heat therapy (one of the indigenous therapies that we went to for our Meetups) and had three (I think) sessions with Tatay Tony and to my surpise, my backaches have really diminished. For this, I would like to thank Mr. Ramon Tan, the owner of Carica who introduced me to Tatay Tony when he found out that I have scoliosis. To this day, I have not had too much pain on my back not unlike before. This was one of our photos:
Last but not the least, just last month February 24, 2010, I was diagnosed to have nodules and cysts on my mammary glands (in short breasts). Yes, cysts and nodules not just one but four on each sides. Ano ba yan? Ang dami naman tumutubo sa akin? Hehehe……puro pa naman idiopathic……unknown cause. But again, when I was about to undergo aspiration biopsy the surgeon told me to come back again after a month if I felt something abnormal if not I can come back in April for a mammography, just to be sure.
So why am I sharing to you all of these? One, because having to face the reality of death several times, we get to evaluate our lives more than anything else. Life is short. As James 4:14b said, "Our life is like a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes". Life is not all about career or money and how far we have reached in our fields. Although these are important, these are not permanent. We have to ask ourselves, if God chooses to take me right now, am I prepared? Have we done God's purpose for our lives? Have we glorified God through our skills, our talents and our abilities? Life is not just a matter of going up the ladder of success in the world's standards. It is what we have done that impacts eternity and how do we prepare for eternity? Go on a one on one talk with God. Pray. It works. We have to ask God to forgive us and let Him come into our lives and offer our lives to Him as he has given His life for us. When you are in your dying moments, I do not think I will hear you say "bring me my diplomas, I want to look at them one more time or bring me my medals and trophies, my awards and the jewelries that were given to me". When life on Earth is ending, we do not want to be surrrounded by objects but with people. People we love and cherish. So whenever we wake up everyday should be to make sure that we spend time loving God by loving other people and using whatever talents or skills He has given us to share it with everyone. Do not waste today's blessings by keeping it with yourself. Give God and people a time and chance into your life.
Two, because whatever our journey is in this field, we all have stories to tell, we have experiences to share and kindness to show. You have something to share, something to contribute and no one in this world is as unique as you. You are created to do more than exist. You are wonderfully made. You are placed on this earth to add more love, give more of ourselves, to add more understanding, more forgiveness and we can do that with our work, our career, our talents, our skills and our abilities. Our money, our career, our life- will come to an end but what we have done for the sake of God will reflect until eternity.
As Russel Kelfer's poem amptly states:
You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.
You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.
The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.
No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.
You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!
Do not just spend your life trying to create success financially and in your career or trying to create a legacy on Earth. It's not at all bad to want to be remembered when you are gone but ultimately what matters most will not be what others say about your life but what God would say about yours. Realize that all these acheivements will be surpasses by others in the future, records will be broken, reputations fade and tributes forgotten. Do not just live for an Earthly legacy because there is much more than what we see on Earth.
I pray that God will touch you in whatever situation you are right now. Be it in health or in sickness, in success or defeat, up or down- we need God. I also hope that you will come to realize that no religion, no amount of good works will ever replace God's love for us. He is just a prayer away, He is just waiting for us to come to him and talk to Him with our hearts. All we need to do is ask to come into our lives. "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened (James 11:9-10)".
Do not waste your time, ask God now.
Posted by yunesa at Wednesday, April 07, 2010
6 comments:
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Labels: spa, massage, work, career, sex alternative medicine, carica, complementary, eunice, health supplements, massage, massage therapist, meetup, MVP, myoma, polyps, ramon tan, scoliosis, spa, spa consultant, wellness, yunesa
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Adam & Chelsea
"Thank you so much for your support through this process. The service you provide is one of a kind and more than I could've hoped for when setting out down this path. You've truly helped make a lasting memory and allowed me to provide a ring that Chelsea and I can be proud of forever!"
Sean H.
"Susie helped me to design a beautiful ring I never could have conceived on my own. Her attention to detail was impressive and I trusted her completely"
"Working with Susie was a great experience. As someone who knows little about diamonds or jewelry, she took her time, patiently walking me through each step of the design process, ensuring that I was well informed before making my decision. I ended up really enjoying the design process and the end result is perfect, no doubt because of her unique and elegant style. Susie was very accommodating as we live in Canada and handled all the complexities that come with international shipping"
"I came across Susie's work on Instagram and sent the link to my partner with no specifications, as I knew that I would love anything she created. Susie created something greater than I could have imagined! It's delicate yet striking, and completely unique to me. Now I can't wait to design my wedding band!"

subset: commoncrawl


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Small Banks to Get Relief From Post-Crisis Financial Rules - ABI
The Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. proposed easing rules for small banks as part of a broader Trump administration effort to loosen restrictions put in place after the financial crisis, the Wall Street Journal reported. Under a plan approved unanimously yesterday by the FDIC, banks with less than $10 billion in assets could be subject to a single leverage ratio for their capital holdings, replacing a more complex set of requirements that applies to larger banks. The minimum ratio small banks must meet to get the relief would be 9 percent of equity to total assets. The proposal would implement a provision of a bank-deregulation law signed by President Trump in May that required regulators to set the community-bank leverage ratio between 8 percent and 10 percent. The FDIC also released a proposal to increase the threshold for full appraisals in residential real-estate transactions to $400,000 from $250,000, potentially easing a hurdle for getting home mortgages across much of the country. That means sales under $400,000 wouldn't require an appraiser to review the home as part of the mortgage process.Back to News »


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Recent Posts
- The Wait continues for Changes to the Kings Cross Gyratory
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- LAQN Site Camden - Euston Road February 15, 2019Levels for site Camden - Euston Road (Roadside) Monday 11 Feb 2019 20:00:00 GMT, Species Nitrogen Dioxide (NO2) Banding: Low Index: 2 (Measurement)Tuesday 12 Feb 2019 15:00:00 GMT, Species PM10 Particulate (PM10) Banding: Low Index: 2 (Trigger)Tuesday 12 Feb 2019 15:00:00 GMT, Species PM2.5 Particulate (PM25) Banding: Low Index: 2 (Trigger) For more informat […]
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Tag Archives: Traffic Flow
The Wait continues for Changes to the Kings Cross Gyratory
TFL says it needs more time and more consultations on Kings Cross. It is not an unknown. In fact, most people in London will recognize Kings Cross as a manic place for traffic, pedestrians and cyclists. We at Kings Cross … Continue reading
Posted in Bad Gyrations KX Campaign, Gyratory consultation 2016, Kings Cross Station Refurbishment, New Tagged Acton Street, Caldeonian Street, cycling in London, Gyratory, gyratory system, King's Cross Road, Kings Cross, Pedestrian crossings, Pentonville Road, Peton Rise, Rodney Street, Sadiq Khan, Swinton Street, TfL, traffic calming, Traffic Flow, Traffic lights, Transport for London, Urban centre 3 Comments
Dreams of Kings Cross, a comment on proposed changes on the gyratory system
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Photographer Stumbles Into Disney-Inspired Wedding Shoot
Community member
I am photographer living in the Middle East. Most of the weddings I shoot with my partner include elaborate beaded & bedazzled ball gowns. Enormous skirts, giant heels and layer upon layer of tulle are all par for the course, everything it takes to make a princess dream wedding session.
But I was floored when one bride stepped out in a golden ball gown, hair bumped to perfection, and the infectiously bubbly nature of a true Disney princess; she had transformed into Belle of Beauty and the Beast. Funny thing, the bride had no idea what I was talking about when I told her that she looked exactly like Belle. Despite confusion by my enthusiasm and insistence on finding a single red rose, the couple played along and what resulted was an amazing Beauty and the Beast themed wedding shoot.
I believe the results were magical.
More info: firstsightphotographers.com
There was so much Belle remeniscent goodness packed in this dress that I spent a good amount of time trying to capture it all from above
Once I saw the dress, I sent the entire bridal party into a frenzy to find a single red rose… while maid of honor and best man showed up empty handed, the owner of the garden where we planned our session saved the day
Thankfully the bride was happy to indulge in what quickly became a Disney fantasy princess wedding
And while he was no Beast, the groom certainly mastered the stormy gaze for much of the photo shoot
With time, the groom revealed his inner Prince Charming
The magic is all in the details
But truly, theirs is a fairy tale ending
And just one more touch of magic to close the night
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It's a common scenario: Your parents are coming to visit and their dining preferences are unadventurous, to say the least. So where on earth do you take them? Having entertained many guests over the years, we've put together a guide to non-adventurous hutong dining for the parental units. Don't worry, we did include a few more exciting options because you have to challenge them a little!
The first day (or the unadventurous)
Mr. Shi's
Mr. Shi's Dumplings and standard foreigner-friendly fare served in a clean environment are made even more accessible by the English menus and foreigner-focused staff. Their branches throughout the city also make for a good option for those parents daring enough to wander the mean streets of Beijing by themselves while you're at work.
Xian Lao Man
Another great place to send or take your parents for its wide-ranging menu (that is also available in English but may be slightly intimidating for its small writing and extensive options). While the staff here don't speak English and are in fact often quite surely given that their average age is around 15 years old, the food is very good and very foreigner-friendly If worst comes to worst, there are always others foreigners around that can help you order. Expect a short queue during peak lunch and dinner times.
Nice Rice
This trendy Hunan eatery spans two floors and offers a great introduction to regional dining for parents. The English, picture-heavy menu, clean surroundings, and occasionally English-capable staff make for a good bet for people who are new to China or are still working through that initial culture shock. Given that they serve Hunan cuisine, expect the dishes to be spicy but not too spicy.
After the first day (or for the slightly more adventurous)
Spring Trees (Andingmen location)
Spring Trees presents a clean eating environment for the slightly more adventurous (it even has tablecloths!), but the menu is a little less attuned to foreign tastebuds, providing a more authentic spin on Sichuan cuisine. That being said, the food here is not overly spicy and chili can be avoided altogether depending on what you order. However, we do recommend the mapo doufu, of course, and the dandan noodles. The staff here are also notably some of the friendliest we've encountered in Beijing.
Jindingxuan (Ditan location)
For a taste of Southern Chinese food, we recommend the infamous 24-hour, bustling four floors of Jindingxuan. While very clean and easily accessible because of its English picture menus, the queuing outside and the raucous atmosphere indoors might be a turn-off for someone who has only been in China for a day. Still, Jindingxuan provides an unmatched experience for anyone wanting to eat cheap dim sum coupled with the excitement that comes from true mayhemic Chinese hospitality. Bonus: throw your parents into the deep end with an order of chicken feet.
Baron Rozi (Dongsishitiao location)
Slightly outside of the hutongs, near Dongsishitiao, is Baron Rozi Xinjiang Cuisine, one of the city's newer Xinjiang restaurants. Try the dapanji (pictured above) and of course, a great rendition of the city's ubiquitous lamb chuan'r. The Uyghur entertainment of dancing and music makes Baron Rozi the perfect place to bring visitors, and the palatial surroundings don't hurt when you've got fussy parents in tow.
The last night (or for the adventurous)
Zhang Mama
A Sichuan mainstay for those of us living in or frequenting the Andingmen area, Zhang Mama can be a bit of an attack on the senses with lots of smells, tastes, and general over-stimulation (think screaming). Expect a long queue and no English menu, but the restaurant will give your parents a good introduction to Sichuan cuisine if they're not fortunate enough to be traveling south.
Bonus points
Lamb spine hot pot
Offering exactly what the name suggests, lamb spine hot pot is really tasty and if your parents can get over the initial "wait, what?" it is worth taking them to. There's one over on 21 Cheniandian Hutong, or if you're in the Wangfujing area try 101 Baofang Hutong.
"Baby poo dumplings"
Located opposite the branch of Mr. Shi's Dumplings on Cheniandian Hutong, this restaurant actually serves up superior dumplings than Mr. Shi's. The catch? The staff definitely don't speak English and you'll have to navigate a Chinglish menu, and most "interesting" of all, multiple the Beijinger staffers have seen the owners' baby do a number one or a number two in the restaurant at some point in time. Is the risk worth delicious dumplings at much lower prices than Mr. Shi's? That's your call.
Photos: Dianping, Margaux Schreurs
This post first appeared on our sister site, the Beijinger. See more stories by this author here.
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More people can enjoy a warmer home for less through the release of £70m of Government funds which residents can bid for directly.
NKDC's SustainNK is urging NK residents to apply for the Green Deal Home Improvement Fund (GDHIF) after it opened to new applications from midday today (Monday).
Based on the popularity of previous funding rounds, it is advisable to be in as quickly as possible for a share.
Grants of up to £5,600 are available to households in England and Wales to help with the cost of installing certain energy saving measures such as solid wall insulation, double glazing, boilers, cavity wall and floor insulation.
Executive Board Member with oversight for energy matters, Coun Richard Wright, said more than 25,000 households across the country had already received a voucher for The Green Deal Home Improvement Fund since its launch in June 2014.
This time the finances available have been increased for domestic energy customers to receive: up to £3,750 for installing solid wall insulation; and/or up to £1,250 for installing two measures from an approved list; up to £100 refunded for their Green Deal Assessment; and up to £500 more if applying within 12 months of buying a new home.
The money is available until all the funding is allocated. The first time it was done £120m went in six weeks and last time £24m went within 48 hour and so this fund may not last much longer than a week.
"Over and above our ongoing promotion of sustainability, energy efficiency and Energy Switch in order to cut bills, it isa delight to promote initiatives such as this which help residents to carry out positive change that makes a lasting difference for lower bills and warmer homes," said Coun Wright.
To complete the two-stage application process, householders will need:
A Green Deal Advice Report (GDAR) or Energy Performance Certificate (EPC) that is less than two years old;
A quote from a GDHIF registered installer or provider for work specified on the GDAR or EPC and included on the list of GDHIF approved measures; and
Proof of property ownership (for landlords/undertakings only) Householders are encouraged to get more than one quote, particularly when they are having expensive work done, to make sure they are getting the best deal available.
The initiative is also good for businesses, with more than 1,100 Green Deal authorised businesses currently registered to provide work under the scheme.
For more information, see how the Green Deal Home Improvement Fund works and how to apply.
Call the Energy Saving Advice Service on 0300 123 1234 Monday to Friday, 9am to 8pm, or Saturday, 10am to 2pm


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There are many dangers associated with working in machine shops. That is why machine shop workers compensation is so important. Making sure all employees are covered in the event of an accident is important for the employee as well as the employer. As an insurance broker, it is important to know that legally, in most states, a business owner must provide workers compensation insurance for their employees. There are a few different things that workers compensation does for an employee who was injured or made sick on the job.
Wage Replacement
One of the most important things that machine shop workers compensation provides for an injured employee is wage replacement. The worker is paid all or part of the wages they would have made, had they been able to keep working. This allows the employee to recover without worrying about how they are going to pay for things while they are not working. This way, they are free to heal in a stress-free environment, which allows them to get back to work faster.
Medical Expenses
Making sure an injured employee's medical bills are paid is incredibly important. This coverage ensures that being injured won't cost the employee any more than it already has. Hospital bills, medications and medical supplies are all covered under the umbrella of medical expenses.
Machine shop workers compensation is incredibly important for anyone working in that industry. Make sure your clients' employees are covered today by contacting a premier insurance wholesaler.


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Disaster Relief
Crestwood Baptist Church has partnered with IConnect Outreach to work together in the recovery process of our community. IConnect Outreach is a nonprofit organization that assists communities in the recovery process, to learn more about IConnect Outreach ministries you can visit their web site at ICONNECTOUTREACH.ORG. IConnect Outreach will register those requesting assistance with the recovery process of their home and determine what assistance can be provided. IConnect Outreach will work to provide administrative support, resources, volunteers and direct the work that can be performed in cooperation with Crestwood Baptist Church. Crestwood Baptist Church will work with IConnect Outreach to provide volunteers, resources and housing for out of town volunteers.
If you wish to request assistance in the recovery process or volunteer please register below. If you need assistance with the registration process your can contact Crestwood Baptist Church or IConnect Outreach at (409) 626-0294. When registering with ICONNECT OUTREACH please indicate that you were referred by Crestwood Baptist Church.
If the form is not accepting responses, please check back or call the church office to register (409) 246-2750. They are experiencing a high volume of requests and periodically pause requests in order to process the ones they have.
To specifically donate to flood relief, use the following link, then select the Harvey Disaster Relief fund; 100% of the money will be used for flood relief.


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- Philadelphia's Smokin' Joe Frazier having his finest hour, knocking down "The Greatest" Muhammed Ali in the 15th and final round of what was perhaps the biggest Heavyweight Championship fight in boxing history, Madison Square Garden, 1971, New York City. Frazier is now suffering severe illness and has been diagnosed with liver cancer. This has Frazier in a lot of people's heart right now, worrying for his health.
In Smokin' Joe's best days, he would smoke into a roaring blaze.
Smokin' Joe Frazier:
The public wants and has wanted great Heavyweight Champions like Joe Frazier for the past few years now. In the 90s, 80s, and especially 70s, you had an incredible crop of American Heavyweights. People will talk about Ali, Tyson, and Evander Holyfield and Larry Holmes, but they don't speak enough about the inspirational, tough as nails Joe Frazier.
Frazier was born in the south, Beaufort, South Carolina, and didn't have it all good growing up. Frazier was cut from a different cloth than some, a strong man. A strong man who later moved to Philadelphia to pursue his career as a Heavyweight fighter. Frazier wasn't a talker, and didn't hype himself up too much, he pretty much expressed his feelings in the ring. Other fighters, like his great rival, Muhammed Ali, will talk a lot of talk along with walking the walk to get more butts in the seat, and more cash coming in.
Frazier though seemed to not get into the mix of the hoopla, and promotional aspects of boxing. For Joe he firstly was looking to get Smokin' and be the best fighter he could be, and that he was doing extremely well. Winning the Gold Medal for the United States at the 1964 Olympic Games in Tokyo, Japan. The gracious Gold Medal champion returned home to the states, and wasn't given the kind of publicity you'd expect a sensational, knocking punching, Gold Medalist prospect to get.
So from there on, it looked like Joe was going to have to go down his journey the hard way, but come to think about it I think Frazier would say "Ain't nothing wrong with me about that." For his tough upbringing and mental strength prepared him from a red carpet less entry into the professional ranks.
Now, although Frazier's demeanor greatly helped him in withstanding all adversities, mainly Muhammed Ali as a fighter, and his mental gymnastics. It didn't hurt that Frazier was built to be a bruiser to bruise for fifteen rounds non stop, and get more and more Smokin' as the fight went on, that is if the fight was gonna go far.
Smokin' has been used countless times, and it's a great ring name, one of the best ever, but lets just say Left Hook Frazier would have been fine as well. That left hook must be touched on some more, sheesh. In all thirty seven bouts that Frazier fought in, including Foreman who had to have tasted some of what Joe had, pity must be bestowed upon them. That left hook thrown all the way from Philly could crack like Willie Mays, and I'm sure it's an experience that none of those men would like to go through again.
Frazier's right hand wasn't too fun either, as fighters would come in prepared to adjust strictly to Frazier's left hand, only to be banged around by Frazier's thudding right hand. As for his body punching: fogettaboutit. Those stomach busting hooks were one of the main reasons Frazier gave Ali his first defeat. he pounded his mid section all night long, and didn't let Ali's mind games, talking, or lying on the ropes lure him into head hunting.
Frazier was beating Muhammed Ali up in the second half of the fight. Beating Ali up to the stomach to render Ali's rope a dopes less effective, and then crushing Ali's jaw with left hooks to finish up. Ali as always being the great Champion he is, gave a memorable performance himself, particularly in the early rounds, floating at his best.
When Ali's legs began to get heavy though, it became Frazier's fight, and Frazier was ready to let Ali have it for all of the pre fight talk. Ali would come out with dazzling hand speed and excite the crowd and score from time to time, but it wasn't steady, and Frazier was on him like white on rice. The climax happened in the fifteenth round when Frazier had knocked down the great Ali with one of the best left hooks thrown by man. The signature punch for Frazier sealed the deal on a fight that won't be forgotten any time soon, and forced every man to agree that for that night in New York City, Joe Frazier was the greatest Heavyweight in the world.
Joe truly did carry himself as a good man, and a good champion to look up to.
After beating Ali, Joe Frazier could have retired. Several people in the boxing community spoke of his eye problems and the dangers that would lie in him continuing to fight. But Joe Frazier is a fighter, and that drive he possesses had to have helped him accomplish the greatest feat a young Heavyweight fighter could dream of.
Not just that, but Ali was Ali, his moniker was and is "The Greatest" it even said it on his robe each time he walked into the ring. So if Frazier was able to beat that guy, does he really have anything else to prove that there is a wealth of greatness in him? None the less, Frazier continued on, and was coming up against a man who punched even harder than Joe himself, and was much bigger, the goliath-like "Big" George Foreman.
Foreman was a Gold Medalist himself from Texas, and is probably the hardest punching Heavyweight Champion in the history of boxing. Styles make fights, George Foreman was just the terrible formula for Joe Frazier, because Frazier will go forward against a brick wall and try to hook it down. So he was going to do the same against George Foreman in Jamaica in 1973. defending his Heavyweight Crown after beating the famed and celebrated Ali. It was that night in Kingston that as Frazier's son put it " I found out my dad was mortal just like any other man." As Foreman knocked Frazier down six times to stop the bout in the second round to gain Frazier's Heavyweight Championship.
Foreman's knockout of Frazier made him look very vulnerable, and Muahmmed Ali avenged Frazier's victory in early 1974. Those two losses left Frazier with very little momentum, and many writers, and those in the boxing community said that Frazier couldn't go anymore with the tops in the division.
In the meantime, Ali had shocked the world in Congo, knocking out Foreman in eight rounds with an explosive flurry that floored Big George and kept him down. Ali's rope a dope tactics had paid off better than they did with Frazier, as Frazier had more head movement and craft to his offensive aggression. Where as Foreman could just punch, or rather release sledgehammers. So with Frazier's aggression it didn't matter how well he was coming forward, he was going to be hit, and against Foreman, if you get caught clean, it's over for any Heavyweight. It doesn't help that Joe was a slow starter too, but the style match up was just a nightmare anyways.
So from Ali's perspective he had an easy rubber match on his hands, he could set the record straight convincingly and knock Frazier out. Frazier signed for the bout and trained like the same man who beat Ali in 1971 at Madison Square Garden. This time though it'd be in a obscure place for a Heavyweight Prizefight: In Manilla, the Philippines "The Thrilla in Manilla".
If one thinks about it, you may come to the conclusion that the first fight between Ali and Frazier was a bigger fight. Both men were younger, and undefeated. But for some reason ask most on the street about "The Fight" (The 1971, first bout.) and they won't be as familiar with that phrase or fight as they will be with "The Thrilla in Manilla."
It's because Joe Frazier shocked a majority of the public with his heart. Ali in the early rounds was going for the knockout and at times it looked like he really had Frazier shaken up and ready to go, he even told one of his cornermen "My god, that guy can take a punch." For some reason, despite Frazier not being able to mount a great competition against Foreman, and Ali knocking Foreman out, Ali brought out the best in Frazier and his style with his intelligent aggression gave Ali fits when Ali wanted to coast, or just in general.
Ali liked to discourage fighters too in the first half of the fight and then put on a show sometimes in the second half. But with Joe Frazier he couldn't do that, because Joe got Smokin as the tough got going. Frazier's defense would pick up, and his bobbing and weaving would gain more and more momentum along with his hooks, primarily the left, as the fight continued. So for Ali, after punishing Frazier earlier on, wether he knew it or not, was going to get a beating that night as well.
In the second half Frazier got his right hand going to set up the left, and punished Ali on the ropes to the body and finished up with left hooks up top like he did in their first bout. Frazier had tender eyes though, and they began to give out as the rounds progressed. The fight was just about dead even, but Frazier's vision was in danger. Frazier had a trainer that really cared for him and his well being, and although he didn't necessarily doubt that Joe Frazier could make it all fifteen rounds and maybe land something real big to get him the nod, Frazier's trainer, Eddie Futch wasn't worried about glory at that point.
he was worried about Joe Frazier, and his vision, and his future so he halted the bout, and genuinely incensed the proud Frazier in the opening moments of the fourteenth round. As Ali would win the most famous trilogy in boxing history by going though what he called "The closet to death I've ever been." With Joe Frazier, and still held on to his Heavyweight Championship.
The real story though to much of the media, and the locals on hand who were rooting for the underdog, and fans worldwide were not just concerned with Ali's victory, but more the fight itself and how incredible Joe Frazier performed when he was thought of as a dead man. that he wanted to fight with one eye or not. Forget "Cut me, Mick." Thats something Hollywood doesn't write, thats the heart of a true Champion.
It would be Joe's last mark of greatness in the ring, but in boxing once you've won the Championship, you always get to keep it. So Joe Frazier will always be the Heavyweight Champion of the World, or if he wants to be too humble about it, say I was once the baddest Heavyweight Champion in the world. They don't make em like Joe Frazier no more, or at least he's not walking around as a man yet. Fight fans love picking dream fights. Frazier would probably be on the top 15 list about 3 or 4 times. Frazier-Liston, Frazier-Tyson, Frazier-Marciano, Frazier-Holyfield. Smokin' Joe gave anyone their money's worth the best he could, and he'll always be 'The Champ'.
Now, this site doesn't ever use the word "I". But I have to say, growing up in Las Vegas and being one of the best autograph go getters and always being at the fights during my pre teen and teenage years, I heard stories of which athletes were gracious or cold to fans seeking autographs or photos. I say this with conviction, some guys have a notorious reputation for being cold and damn near impossible to receive an autograph from.
Wether it be because of the person's decision to not wanna be bothered or major security measures. Anyways, Joe Frazier had a universal reputation with serious autograph go getters as being one of the nicest men to the fans any athlete had ever been. Many claimed "Yeah, Frazier never turns me down, never turns down an autograph." A testament to his humility. Joe Frazier wasn't just the Heavyweight Champion of the World, and the man that first defeated "The Greatest" Muhammed Ali. Joe Frazier was the peoples champion, a lot of fans loved Joe for his heart and aggression, moxy and most of all his demeanor: A bad man, who you don't wanna see in a dark alley by yourself, but a real gentlemen. Seemingly carrying himself with kindness; until it was time to do business, than he was Smokin' Joe.
All in all, sports are always great to watch, to talk about, and to appreciate. But we do have some prima donnas, men who get paid millions upon millions and receive a lot of affection from fans and still don't seem to have a humbleness about them, a gratefulness. This is no criticism to such individuals, whatever makes you happy is understandable, people have different mindsets. But again with Frazier, something you got to love is how he walked, his style, his expression in the way he fought, his demeanor, the man himself. Joe Frazier was the champ man, and he'll hurt ya with a left hook if he has too.
Frazier is undoubtedly one of the top 10 Heavyweight boxers of all time. Young men my age and younger will watch his fights on ESPN Classic, or maybe a DVD, and get a glimpse at Frazier and they'll give admiration and recognition to Smokin' Joe just like I am right now. From reliable resources it was found out that in the late 1960s when Muhammed Ali was stripped of his Heavyweight title and banned for over three years, Joe Frazier asked him to come into his limousine. What ensued was Frazier comforting Ali, giving him some cash, and letting him know to contact him if he needed to. A noble act from Frazier.
Ali would go on to hype up the fight and trash talk gracefully to generate more revenue once fighting with Frazier. But Joe just didn't appreciate it, and thought it unnecessary and over the top. Now one could argue Ali is a guy with a sense of humor and a great promoting brain and was yapping to get more dough coming in. However, such personal insults against Frazier got underneath the skin. Hence why the two are to this day not friends. Which is a shame considering millions of people loved what they combined to create in the squared circle over thirty years ago.
Frazier's last straw perhaps is when Ali did make an attempt at a truce, and told Frazier's son his father's a great Champion and he respects him very much. When Joe's son came back to him, Joe responded "Why doesn't he tell me that to my face if thats how he feels?". It's possible that Joe was wiling to truce with Ali, the two men created the most memorable three bouts in boxing history. It's just that Joe Frazier is a proud man, and on those terms, maybe he felt the extension from Ali wasn't sincere enough.
Besides signing autographs for anyone that'll ask, the ole Champ has been residing in a Philadelphia boxing gym still to this day, until he's gotten ill. Living in the boxing gym, and still giving the speed bags and heavy bags hell. There is a kind of boxing enthusiasts that loves a guy that doesn't necessarily have the best feet or speed, or quick shots, but rather loves a guy who has to take a shot to give one, and those kinds of fans will always adore Joe Frazier, along with others.
The legend from humble beginnings in South Carolina that ventured to Philadelphia did it all: He won the gold medal, he became the Heavyweight Champion of the World, and he gave Ali his first loss. Along the whole way watching Joe, you'd have to miss him, who wouldn't mind a Joe Frazier nowadays anybody? Get better champ, God Bless and the site wishes you the best to you Joe and your family.
A tribute on Smokin' Joe Frazier. The man, the Champion, and the legacy.


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Blog Archives
When It All Began…A Tale From the Sexier Side
Skinny, tall, bathed in patchouly, she smiled as I approached. Little did I know she was wearing tiny, booty-bearing Calvin Klein panties under her boyish jeans. She wore them for me. She greeted me with a strong embrace. That dimpled smile gleamed with sexiness. Nervous as shit, I did not let on that I changed my outfit six times before I drove to her apartment.
She picked me up and twirled me around as she carried me into the door. Her apartment was clean and a candle flickered on a large glass coffee table. We got cozy on the couch and she went to turn on some music. Portishead. She seduced me with Portishead. The ambiance was sensational.
The hours flew by and the conversation flowed. My nerves never really calmed down, but I was careful to play it cool. I didn't want her to know I've had a crush on her since high school. As the time went by, we crept closer to one another. I could not fathom that this girl actually might like me.
I was getting incredibly turned on and the heat was rising. I wanted her. It took everything in me to not tear her clothes off.
Then in one smooth, yet swift motion, our lips collided. The heat overtook me now and her mouth was beyond delectable. Evidently this beautiful girl felt it too, because her hands were making their way beneath my shirt. The scent of passion filled the air, and we joined together like one hot lava-filled volcano. I think she tried to trick me by buckling her belt to the side, but I must have showed up her game because I got them off with one hand, while my other hand was removing her bra, unveiling two incredibly perky, small pink breasts. We somehow made our way to the bedroom, where the rest of the clothes hit the floor.
I'll never forget that she made a point to have the light on. This was a new side of confidence that I can't remember experiencing before. This also allowed me to experience the sight of the most delicious body I've ever laid my eyes on. This girl was simply breathtaking. This is also where I discovered the teeny tiny panties, and the way the bottom of her cheeks hung out just a little. An image I can never forget.
We were wild. We were intense. I was still nervous, and convinced that I was all over the place. She felt fucking amazing, and tasted even better. We moved in a harmonious rhythm, like we had done this before. Like we had invented it. It was fucking-yes- but also so much more. Lovemaking? Maybe. But that would sound too much like a dyke fairytale. It was more like an event. And we bought the only front row tickets. A sold out performance. I swear fireworks went off when she came. And she returned the favor, sending a million of my nerve endings into orbit. Was she real?
The next morning I woke up in her bed. I looked around. She was not in the room. Oh my god. I'm in her bed. The girl I had dreamed about for years. And we just had incredible sex, then held each other all night long. I was tripping. Then came the flood of self doubt. I was instantly convinced this was a one night stand and the girl of my dreams didn't really like me.
As I was starting to get dressed and prepare to drown in my sorrows somewhere else, she came into the room with a fresh cup of coffee- and placed a sweet, long kiss on my mouth. Again, that smile. Those dimples. She said she had an amazing night, she thanked me for staying over, and she asked when she could see me again. I couldn't believe it.
Well believe it. That night was the first night I spent with my wife. The girl of my dreams. The girl who made me nervous and rocked my world. I write about this now because last week was the eight year anniversary of that magical night. I remember everything about it. She was adorable and sexy. She is even more adorable and sexy now. Still has the smile and the dimples. I love this woman more and more every day. Happy anniversary, Beautiful.
It Went Too Fast, Love – a poem about heartbreak
If I could, I really would
Catch every tear that fell.
Though I know I really should
Accept that time will tell.
It was a lost cause,
But you're not lost, love.
It was a past love,
It went too fast, love.
I imagine her expression,
As she quickly shut the door.
All too clear was her rejection.
I clean the pieces from the floor.
Strawberries fragrant in the air,
Strawberry scented, like her hair.
Tire tracks provide evidence,
Matching tread marks on my heart.
Spinning sick, it makes no sense.
There came an end before a start.
It was a lost cause,
But you're not lost, love.
It was a past love,
It went too fast, love.
Her fingerprints left in the dust,
Silky strands clogged in the drain.
That skin was more than glowing lust,
Her ideals around this room remain.
Strawberries fragrant in the air,
Strawberry scented, like her hair.
Need an intervention of the soul.
May I have the will to dream?
Once was fire, now burned a hole.
Is this as broken as it seems?
It was a lost cause,
But you're not lost, love.
It was a past love,
It went too fast, love.
Gay Vet Denied Right For Wife To Be Buried By Her Side
74-year-old Navy veteran, Madelynn Taylor would like her wife to be buried with her in the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery, but officials will not allow it. Idaho doesn't recognize her same sex marriage. She followed standard protocol, taking her discharge papers and marriage certificate to the Veterans Cemetery to apply to be buried there with her wife when she passes away, but was at a loss when they would not process her request.
"I thought they'd say okay because in any federal cemetery it is okay, in any national cemetery," Taylor said. "I could take the same documents and get buried in Arlington if I needed to, with no problems. But here they said it's a state veterans cemetery, not a national cemetery. So we have to go by the state laws."
Click this link to view a video clip on Taylor:
Taylor and her late wife Jean Mixner married at a church retreat in Oregon in 1995, and formally in a California courthouse six years ago.
Taylor, who served six years in the Navy from 1958 to 1964, says that while she could be buried together in another veterans cemetery, she says as a longtime Idaho resident with brothers and sisters here, she doesn't want to settle. She wants to be in Idaho's Veterans Cemetery, with her wife by her side.
"I just feel that it's the right place for me," she says. "I want Jean with me."
Source: LGBTQ Nation
I'm So Hot. And I'm So Old.
When I speak of my single life, I sound like a 50 year old man glorifying his high school football days. I get all glossy-eyed and lost in my own swollen head. I think I sound hot. Seasoned. I reminisce on when I was dating four girls at the same time. On the good dyke clubs "back in the day". I think I am impressing the 21 year olds that landed in my circle. Like these baby dykes can learn a thing or two from this veteran clit licker. I remember how attractive I used to be with my tan and tiny clothes. I was an avid teeth bleacher. My legs (and more) were always shaved. It was a serious case of "too many girls, too little time".
Maybe I do sound cool. I don't know, it's possible. Or maybe I just sound old.
Truth is, I haven't been single in eight years. And truth is, I'm okay with it. In fact, I have been married to my wife for almost seven years and we have a baby boy. We own real estate. And a dog. We don't get drunk and we have a bedtime. I wear comfortable clothes.
I don't know if people are impressed with the image of the former me. I don't know if I miss her. I don't know if I think that if I were single today, that it would be the same as it was. Because the reality is that it would be nothing like it used to be. I sincerely laugh at my fantasy of the younger, goddess-like version of me. The thing is, I have changed. Single, married, or whatever. I'm not the same person that I once was. And it has nothing to do with whether I was a fresh little lezzie or not. It has everything to do with growing up. My priorities went from phone numbers to anniversaries, from new club music to nursery rhymes, from panties to diapers. You catch my drift.
Maybe we all like to hang on to something from our youthful counterparts. I mean, isn't that what the media and commercialism want us to do? Look younger! Feel younger! Maybe because I've had so many changes in these last eight years, that it just seems recreational to embrace a memory or two. Frankly, I enjoy remembering the days where things happened a little faster, women were a little more prevalent, and I was a little shinier.
And as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing wrong with that. Okay okay, and I was a ripe little hottie. There, I said it.
Skin On Fire, a sexy lil poem
She used her eyes like a weapon,
And her tongue just like a whip.
She set her skin on fire,
With the curve of her hip.
She caressed herself gradually,
Using just a fingertip.
Her breath was sweet and heavy,
As she slowly bit my lip.
I embrace her body underneath,
When she invites my hand to slip.
Insatiable thrusting swallowed me,
Wave of ecstasy tightened her grip.
As she trembled and glistened,
Succulent nectar I always sip.
We held each other in our arms,
With steamy flesh, our sweat did drip.
Soon enough she kissed my neck,
Whispered in my ear to "flip".
It was my turn she said,
Our love making goes round trip.
Do You Know Your Sexual Standards?
How important is sex in your life? What kind of sex life do you want? Have you ever given it much thought?
We all set standards for our lives. We know the kind of person we want to be with- or not be with. We decided which people we would- and would not- accept as friends. We relish on personal standards regarding appearance. For instance, I'm totally one of those gals who hate to leave the house without at least a teensy bit of makeup. We have made decisions of where we like to hang out, how much money we'd shell out for a car, what we do for employment, and what side of ourselves we show to others. But what about our sexual standards? What we like sexually? Desires? Sexual values? I'd say we don't give this area the focus it deserves.
It is important to know what you enjoy, sexually, what you don't, what you're comfortable with, and what you want in a partner. Standards are not just about boundaries. The definition of 'standard' is 'a level of quality or attainment'. Something you like and accept into your life. What sexual qualities do you look for in a partner?
Here is a comprehensive list of sexual standards from the book, The Whole Lesbian Sex Book, by Felice Newman.
- Erotic attraction. Heat. Someone for whom you feel powerful sexual desire.
- Sexual compatibility. Your favored sexual activities needn't match up like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle, but it helps to be playing the same game.
- Willingness to try new things– that's what makes it possible for you to grow sexually, both individually and together.
- Openness to discussion about what you like, don't like, what you need, how you feel, your sexual histories, STDs, safer sex- even if the conversation is awkward or uncomfortable. Good communication deepens sexual relationship.
- Respect for both herself and you. That's limits and desires- especially respect for those she does not share. This also includes respecting your physical and emotional health concerns.
- Sexual honesty. This is required for your emotional safety. It's also the bottom line for couples who forgo safer sex practices, instead choosing to be monogamous or fluid-bonded.
- Ability to listen to not just the words, but the intention. Listening is more than just waiting your turn to speak.
- Embodiment. You do not have to be a goddess of sensuality or a practitioner of Tantra to be in touch with bodily sensations. Regardless of your level of sexual experience, your disabilities and physical limitations, and even a history of dissociation, you can learn how to live in your body as a sensate being.
What other standards can you add to this list?
I think we all should check in and take personal inventory of ourselves as sexual beings. What are your desires anyway? How do you like to be touched? Are you a top or a bottom? A switch? Do you like butch girls? Bois? Lipstick lesbians? S & M? Toys? Massage? Do you like to experiment? Are you shy? What are your fantasies?
Once you establish your own set of sexual standards, make a commitment to live by them. Declare what you want in a sexual relationship, and make those connections with others. Sex can be so fulfilling when you are confident in what you welcome.
Please feel free to comment and share your own thoughts on sexual standards.
From GF to BFF: The Lesbian Ex Factor
Girls. Girlfriends. Ex-girlfriends. Friends. Best friends. Sigh…Girls. Can lesbians really be friends with their exes? I'd like to think so, but some others don't see it possible. Either way, the undeniable truth is that most of us are indeed friends with our ex-girlfriends.
So, why are we friends with the ex, anyway?
One reason I really think lesbians remain friends with their exes is because as females, we tend to form a natural bond- a sisterhood, if you will. When we become close with another female, we open up on an intimate level, whether that female be a friend or something more. We develop feelings for this other person, whether we're in love with her or not. Feelings can include nurturing, affection, admiration, and ultimately an attachment develops. When a relationship dissipates, that attachment doesn't necessarily go away, thus we hang on to some of the feelings for this other person. Us women tend to be connected to our maternal side, whether we know it or not, and we still care for our ex as a whole person, not just as a girlfriend. The end result- a friendship with the ex. Or at least an attempt at a friendship with the ex.
How Does it Work?
Lesbians will do anything to keep in touch with their ex-girlfriends. Of course that doesn't describe you, right? Common scenarios such as making a point to 'return her stuff that she left behind', or checking in with a mutual friend 'to see if she is doing okay', or showing up at her favorite lesbian bar on her only night off to 'accidentally' bump into her. If you deny doing any of this, then you at least know someone who has. This could be the budding start of fitting back into her life, or it could push her further away from you. Or it could lead to a restraining order.
You two have broken up, but you are still sleeping together. As friends. You both (most likely one of you) have agreed that the relationship can't work. But you still want to reap the benefits of the sexual relationship you share. Sex with the ex. As pleasurable as it is dangerous.
Why it works- You know each other, you know what feels good, you share an element of trust, it's comfortable, and the 'in-between' love and casual sex kind of feels good. You can reap the benefits of a relationship without the responsibilities.
Why it doesn't work- One of you will start dating someone else. It will then be evident that the sex with the ex arrangement was indeed temporary, and whether you want to or not, feelings will be affected.
Your ex is friends with your friends. We know that all too often us dykes travel in many of the same circles. I don't know what it is- maybe because there are fewer gathering ports in which the lesbian community can be social, in comparison to our hetero peers. When your ex-girlfriend is part of your group of friends, it can be very difficult. Awkward isn't even the word for the mutual friends when the two of you have to be in each other's presence for the first couple of times. Sometimes friends feel pressure to take sides when there is a break up in the group. I believe that sometimes continuing participation in the group can actually help for two exes to form a new friendship. Without fail, there is sure to be a healthy chunk of lesbian drama to choke down!
What You Need to Consider
She will start dating again. Without you. And it will feel like a punch in the gut. No matter how close you two are as friends, it isn't going to feel good. You will feel jealous, even though you know you have no right to be upset. You will feel left out, even though this is just her moving on. And as her friend, you need to not be bitter, but supportive. I admit that I have shown my fair share of attitude toward my best friend/ex-girlfriend when she started dating back when we had first broken up. I'd always point out her new girlfriend's flaws and give my assessment on how they do not belong together. I didn't want to be with her, but I didn't like any girl she was with either.
You will be in a situation where your partner is friends with her ex. And it will suck. My wife and I have gone in exhausting circles with this one. She gets upset when I'm friends with certain exes because she insists they still have feelings for me. I argue and tell her she's just paranoid, that we're good friends. Then you know what happens? She buddies up with a few of her ex-girlfriends. And the heat inside me rises every time I have to see any of them. I know the back stories. I know how it ended. And I know that feelings still hang in the air like really adorable smog. Yet I know I can't ask her to give these friendships up either.
Making it Work
Friendship works best when you both have moved on. When you each have begun dating someone else, it's the permission slip to let go of pent up feelings and be okay with each other. This gives you each the assurance that romantic feelings are no longer there, or at least they're tucked away respectively.
Have a talk with your ex about feelings and boundaries. If you two are serious about being friends, then you should be able to talk about it. You no doubt care about each other, you have history, and you don't want to lose each other. You need to clear the air of any residual feelings or attraction you may or may not have for each other. It's wise to be on an even keel. Now is also the time to take into consideration any new partners and their feelings.
Avoid lesbian love triangles. I laugh out loud on this one. Sure I give this advice, though I have seldom followed it. Basically if you want to be friends with exes, don't date their exes, or their exes exes, etc. It equates to boatloads of lesbo drama in a handbag. I have been in dating situations where my girlfriend was the ex of one of my ex girlfriends. I've also been in a situation where I was dating two girls, who were in fact dating each other, yet each of them didn't know about their relationship with me. A genuine triangle. I'll stop here.
If you are going to be friends, then act like friends. In other words don't sleep with each other- even if you are both single, incredibly horny, and feel you have nothing to lose. Confusing boundaries and accidentally rekindling feelings can be dangerous and someone could get hurt.
Introduce her as your friend, not your ex-girlfriend. It's habit to refer to her as your ex, but if you keep doing this out loud, that's all she'll ever be. You wanna be friends, right? So make her your friend and leave it at that.
Be a good friend. Treat her like any other friend you have. No, treat her better. I don't mean favor her. But be genuine with her and support her. Have fun with her and be there when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Listen if she wants to bitch about her co-worker. Have her back.
Word on the Street
I asked some local lesbians' opinions on being friends with the ex. Here's what they said:
"Exes always treat each other the same way they did when they were dating. Whether it's sweet or bitchy, they always talk to each other differently than they do other people. That connection doesn't go away."
"Being friends with an ex completely depends on their personalities and the reason for the break up. If there was a broken heart, then it's probably not a good idea, but if it was mutual, then it's worth a shot."
"I do not think you can be friends with your exes because I think you always care about that person in a different way than you would [your] friends whom you do not have or had an intimate relationship with. You can ultimately spark those feelings again without meaning to, making life confusing, even if it's not what you really want."
"It is okay if you are friends at a distance, or have mutual friends. But it doesn't work if you are close friends."
"Two can meet and have a super strong bond and get along great but because they are lesbians they think it's that special 'she's the one' feeling, and really it's just a meant to be friendship. If they can end the 'something more' part and be friends, then why not? Why lose a great person from your life just because you used to sleep together?"


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This is my 1,500th blog post for Every Day I Write The Blog.
Way back a year-and-a-half ago, I marked post #1,000 by saying that I didn't know how much longer I'd keep going. I had to be running out of stories.
At the time, I may have underestimated how many untapped sources there were. Turns out there were several hundred left.
But now, for reals, I think I've hit the pretty close to the end of what I can do with the original concept of this blog---or at least half of the original concept.
Part of the initial idea was to take a song and write about, "what does this song remind me of?" telling a personal story from the past. At this point, I look at the notepad where I have kept a list of stories I'd like to tell, and I've crossed pretty much everything off the list.
I'm sure I'll come up with a few more, here and there, but largely, I think I've hit the wall, covering 45 years worth of stories of my life.
The other part of the blog was to write about being the Program Director/Music Director at mvyradio, and to give a little insight into the question I get asked over and over, "How do you pick the songs?"
I can probably continue to bring you new things, and talk about the process.
But I don't think I can write every day.
A few months back, I started taking on the General Bloggers page at MVY, which is not an every day thing, but does suck up a bunch of blogging time. And if the original reason to start this blog was to help the station, then working on the MVY blog is probably more important.
I have a few other creative ventures that I'd like try out, which are outside of the mission of the blog, but I can probably post here if I free up some time. So if I write less, I can post more---get it?
. . . and in The End . . . there's never an end. Even the death of John Lennon didn't prevent The Beatles from putting out a new song. So I suspect I'll keep writing on the blog.
Just not Every Day.
Hear the song on Youtube.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
The Beatles "The End"
at 6:49 AM
Labels: 92.7, cape cod, every day I write, martha's vineyard, MVY Radio, mvyradio, PJ Finn, The Beatles, The End, WMVY
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A woman of varied interests. Author of the "For Dummies" series about
eBay, as well as Social Media and Customer Service books. Host
Computer & Technology Radio.
Small business? Find tools, apps and tips on my Cool eBay Tools website!
Thursday, February 23
Parallels Cloud Summit INFOGRAPHIC of Tweets
Posted by Marsha Collier
Labels: Banyan Branch, Parallels Cloud, twitter
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Thursday, January 13, 2011
Great Site for Kids' Rooms
I am loving Bernadette's blog Chic Spaces for Little Faces. I know a lot of you have little ones, and this blog is chuck full of inspiring room ideas!
Posted by Katie @ katieboothinteriors at 8:47 AM
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If you're asking a friend or colleague for tips or pointers on which Italian wines to buy, and the person you're speaking to is a self-proclaimed "Italian wine expert," you may consider taking their selections with a grain of salt.
I phrase it this way, because Italian wine is so notoriously difficult to compartmentalize or generalize, that those who are truly the best would never boast such a peacocked statement. Experts know full well "The Boot" has eccentricities and its own alternative wine facts, waiting for you around every hairpin on a strade statali.
There's no quick way to summarize Italian wine. Forget it. But the romantic in this author loves that element, because that means there are infinite and evolving stories to learn and share.
Let's start with some core facts about Italian wine. Nearly 1,000 grape varieties are used to produce Italian wine. Anyone who learns about ampelography — the study, identification and classification of grape vines — will tell you that this number will never be exact.
And for those used to reading the label to find recognizable grapes, Italy's not going to be very helpful in this matter. Although wineries, and regions that depend on the export-driven grocery store consumer, will put the grape on the label to facilitate sales, it's not very common.
Instead, Italian wines are categorized in three important tiers that are vital to the American market. A word of warning, it's very crucial to know that being a part of one of them neither demeans it, nor elevates the wine's quality.
The "top" level is "Denominazione di Origine Controllata e Garantita" or DOCG. In English, this stands for Designation of Guaranteed Origin. There are 74 DOCGs in Italy, including true titans of wine, like Chianti Classico, Barolo, and Brunello di Montalcino.
The next level is "Denominazione di Origine Controllata" or DOC. This translates to Designation of Origin. There are roughly 330 DOCs in Italy. The difference between DOCG and DOC wines is that a wine from a DOCG location is fairly more elevated than its counterpart.
But remember, these are demarcations via the legal process of making boundaries, so it's fair to assume that politics that might just play into this; similar to gerrymandering in the U.S.
So, on one hand you have DOCGs like Ruché di Castagnole Monferrato or Primitivo di Manduria Dolce Naturale that produce wines of moderate and small quality, and on the other, there are DOCs like Aglianico del Vulture and Etna, which produce game-changing red wine from southern Italy.
An important third category emerged in 1992, and is called "Indicazione Geografica Tipica." The IGT translates into Typical Geographical Indication.
The IGT came into existence essentially as an evolutionary step to create a codification for great wine that didn't fit in to Italy's DOC/ DOCG regulations. You're more likely to see the name of the grape on the label of an IGT wine and it's certainly more common to see grapes of French origin like cabernet sauvignon, syrah, and merlot in these wines.
An impressive example of a nice, affordable IGT wine is the Pietranera Toscana, 2015. A straight varietal sangiovese at $17, is far better than most chianti, if you're generally a cabernet sauvignon drinker. It's a fruit bowl of tart cherries, plums, raspberries, with an element of candied, black-fruit.
One location that more than deserves the elevated DOCG status is barbaresco. The 2011 Pasquale Pelissero Barbaresco from the Bricco San Giuliano vineyard is a shining example. Cherry, roses and coffee notes co-mingle in this surprisingly nuanced $40 bottle. Its full-bodied structure screams for a feast of braised beef. It's a great special-occasion wine that is worth poking around for at your favorite independent retailer. One of the more interesting DOC wines I've had lately is from the tiny region of Oltrepo Pavese in Lombardy. A white wine made from the pinot noir grape. What's that? Frecciarossa makes a pinot nero bianco built on expressive flavors like apples, pears, and succulent melon? It's peculiar that a red grape makes white wine. It doesn't happen often, unless you're in Champagne, but there are no bubbles here, just refreshing and savory fruit with a great value ($20). A strong white wine, built for the summer.
Moving to the east of Lombardy into Alto Adige is a price-comparative chardonnay by Elena Walch, an important champion of Northeastern Italian wines. One of the better chardonnay values I've had, $20, is pretty damn balanced. Spring and autumn aren't always ideal for ripening wine grapes. It's cold at night and not often warm during those summer days. It shows in this wine, a reflection of brightness and length.
Italian wine is often difficult to robustly comprehend. Just remember that there's no test and it's certainly okay to not really sweat what's on the label. If you like dry red wines that are often both tart and ripe, you're in the right country. If you like white wines with a hint of complexity but half the price of French wines from Burgundy, you're also where you need to be.
Justin King is a certified sommelier and is the owner of Bridge Street Social, a wine and cocktails-focused restaurant in DeWitt.


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Wasteful energy consumption can cost homeowners thousands of dollars per year. Fortunately, there are many high-scale and budget-friendly approaches to amending this issue and making your home more energy efficient.
The tips below may seem surprisingly simple, at least in terms of how much you can save each year. It's amazing how far some new light bulbs or a filter change can go toward reducing the cost of your energy bill — especially during particularly hot or cold months.
Here are seven ways to save money on energy costs:
Make Nighttime "Lights Off" Time
A device left on overnight here and there won't make much of a dent in your electric bill, but consistently leaving your computer on standby or your TV blaring throughout the night can add up significantly. Make a list of devices in your home that consume energy and identify whether they are on during the night. In the instance of a computer, check for energy-saving settings that automatically shut your computer off if it idles for a certain period of time.
Change All Filters
From your air conditioning to your furnace, ensure all systems that use a filter are cleaned regularly. A blocked filter for any of these machines can result in it working harder, consequently using more energy. This is a very simple action, but it can save you money and help your system work much more efficiently.
Landscape With Energy in Mind
During the summer, homeowners can increase energy efficiency by planting trees and plants to serve as shading. If you place them in close proximity to your home's windows, they can help keep out the heat, so you won't have to spend nearly as much on air conditiong.
Use Energy-Minded Products
Fluorescent light bulbs use about one-third the energy of standard bulbs. Replacing all your home's bulbs with energy-saving ones could result in substantial savings.
Update Old Electrical Appliances
Although your budget may not allow for an immediate upgrade, the tips above can help save on electrical costs. Those savings could be used to update old electrical appliances, replacing them with energy efficient upgrades. The impact of a new appliance can be massive. For example, 2001's top-rated refrigerator uses 40% more energy than today's top-tier refrigerators.
Insulate Wherever Possible
One of the simplest and most cost-effective ways to save on energy consumption is to ensure windows and other locations in your house are correctly insulated. If any unnecessary heat or cold is seeping through cracks or gaps, it's wasting your AC or heat.
Also, be sure to caulk any doors, windows, holes, and cracks that may be letting cold or hot air seep through. This includes electrical outlets, which are prone to holes since they may lead to outside walls.
Also, if you have a fireplace, it's advised to install glass doors. That way, chilly gusts don't enter your living space through the chimney.
Use Ceiling Fans Wisely
Ceiling fans have more power than you may imagine. They spread hot or cold air around considerably, aiding heating or cooling systems to the point where significantly less energy is used.
Run ceiling fans counterclockwise to help circulate cold air back into a room and clockwise for warm air. This is a simple yet effective trick that can significantly increase a heating or cooling system's energy efficiency.
These seven tips can help you make your residence a more energy-efficient one, in both the cold winter and hot summer months. You'll start saving money, and you'll be helping conserve important resources, too.
- Incandescent, LED, Fluorescent, Compact Fluorescent and Halogen Bulbs – Consumer Energy Center
- Making Your Home Energy Efficient – House of Home


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Find the Best Salsa Instructional DVD Online
How to trade Bitcoin at 100X leverage or margin
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100×Leverage!! Cryptocurrency FX Account Set Up
If you want to find the best resource site offering salsa dance lessons than you've come to the right place because we have the best resource site for you. Go right now to www.salsadancedvd.com This salsa dance DVD program starts with the basic concepts, revealed in clear English. You'll be learning salsa with a solid foundation from the most qualified instructors.. You will understand the simple concepts of timing and footwork. You'll learn how to get into the basic step. You'll learn exactly what to do, step-by-step and what will look good out in the real world. You'll learn the unique footwork up close. You'll also learn styling and how to create the Cuban motion – or those sexy salsa moves you've always wanted. Learn step-by-step instruction on how to get the movement going. These videos show the moves of both women and men. Visit www.salsadancedvd.com now and begin to master the salsa dance! You won't find any other product like this, anywhere else. You'll learn basic dance techniques that will assist you in every partner dance that you learn! But best of all you'll benefit from salsa dancing! You'll gain these great benefits by going right now to www.salsadancedvd.com. But why is salsa dance so great? It's'. Fun, Great Exercise Lose Weight Greater Flexibility Better Reflexes Better Health More Confidence Dance skills Social skills Mental clarity Logical thinking Meet Singles Start your salsa workout today and begin reaping the rewards of this highly recognized, respected and explosive dance style. Learn how by visiting www.salsadancedvd.com and get the best DVD offered online today! Find the Best Salsa Instructional DVD Online


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Kenwood TM-D710 repair TOKO FIlters procedure
As we all owners of that rig know ,the most common problem of the Kenwood D710 is the TOKO filters that "arrange" the narrow and wide reception in both bands. There are 4 filters in total. 1 Narrow and 1 Wide for band A and another set for band B.
TOKO Filters
50G = Narrow Band B
55G = Narrow Band A
50E = Wide Band B
55E = Wide Band A
Next there are pictures from my transceiver ,while i was changing the filters. You will also notice the electrolysis taking place to the faulty filters!!!
|TOKO Filters, notice the faulty ones
|Main PCB removed from shell
|The bottom of the PCB, you can clearly see the older solder from the last repair
|First filter removed one to go!
Finally i have to say that this was fairly easy repair(30min). The transceiver now is working like a charm, and finally after 2 months i have a fully operational transceiver in my car!!!
Proceed at your own risk!!!


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123 Gluten Free Olivia's Outstanding Fortified Mulitpurpose Flour Mix 27 Servings Per 24 oz. Box
What do you want to bake today? With Olivia's Outstanding Fortified Multipurpose Flour Mix, a whole new world of baking opportunities opens up for people living a gluten-free lifestyle. This incredibly versatile gluten-free flour mix can be used cup for cup in virtually any recipe that calls for wheat flour, self-rising flour or cake flour. Best of all, this multipurpose non-GMO flour mix is fortified with B Vitamins, Iron and Calcium to help people with celiac disease get the nutrients that are often lacking in a gluten-free diet. Use the highly praised angel food recipe on the back of the box as inspiration or just let your baking skills and creativity take you where you want to go. With Olivia's Multipurpose Flour Mix from our friends at 123 Gluten Free you now have the essential tool to make your baking dreams come true.
Key Features of Olivia's Outstanding Fortified Mulitpurpose Flour Mix:
(*) See instructions inside box to convert to cake flour and self-rising flour
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