text:
the Sixth:
Two men who are close friends dupe one another and in the end have their wives in common.
MANY are the tricks and deceptions which men nowadays practise one upon another, but of the whole mass of these you will find none comparable in craft and knavery to those which one friend will use in imposing upon another. And since it has fallen to my lot to open the entertainment this evening with a story, it has come into my mind to give you an account of the subtlety and cunning and treachery which a certain man employed in the befooling of another who was a close friend of his own. And although the first one who tried this knavish game completely duped his friend by the amazing cunning he displayed, yet in the end he found himself tricked by a craft and ingenuity no whit inferior to his own. All of which shall be clearly set forth to you if you will of your kindness give a hearing to my story.
In the famous and ancient city of Genoa there lived in times past two friends, of whom one was called by name Messer Liberale Spinola, a man of great wealth, and at the same time one much addicted to the pleasures of the world, and the other Messer Arthilao Sara, one of the chief merchants of the city. The friendship between these two was very warm and close; so great, indeed, was their attachment the one for the other, that they could scarce endure to be apart. And if it should happen by any chance that either one of these had need of aught belonging to the other, he could claim it without delay or hindrance. And seeing that Messer Arthilao was engaged in numerous ventures in merchandise, and had in hand many affairs, both on his own account and on the account of others, he one day had to set out on a journey to Soria. Wherefore, having sought out his dear friend Messer Liberale, he thus addressed him in the same sincere and benevolent spirit he ever felt towards him: 'My friend, you know well, and it is manifest to all men, how great is the love and affection subsisting between us, how I always have relied and still rely upon you, both on account of the friendship we have had for each other for so many years past, and on account of the vow of brotherhood that there is between us. Wherefore, because I have settled in my mind to go to Soria, and because there is no other man in the world whom I trust as I trust you, I come with all boldness and confidence to you to entreat you to do me a favour, which thing, though it may cause no little disturbance to your own economy, I beg that you of your goodness, and for the sake of our mutual good feeling, will not deny me.' Messer Liberale, who was fully inclined to do his friend any kindness he might ask for, without further words concerning the matter, said: 'Arthilao, my dear friend, the love we have one for the other, and the bond of fellowship which our sincere affection has knitted between us, ought to render un necessary all such discourse as this. Tell me now, without keeping aught behind, what your wishes may be, and lay me under your orders, for I am ready to discharge whatever duty you may put upon me.' Then said Messer Arthilao to his friend: 'My desire and request of you is to beg you that, so long as I shall be away, you will take under your charge the government of my house, and in like manner of my wife, calling her attention to anything that may be wanted, and whatever sum of money you may disburse on her behalf I will pay you in full on my return.' Messer Liberale, when he understood what his friend wanted of him, first gave him hearty thanks for the high opinion he had of his probity, in that he held him in such good esteem, then he freely promised Messer Arthilao to discharge, to the best of his poor abilities, the task which had been put upon him.
When the time had come for Messer Arthilao to set out on his voyage, having first bestowed all his merchandise on board his ship, he recommended his wife Daria-who, as it happened, was three months gone with child-to the care of his friend, and then set forth, sailing out of Genoa with his sails spread to a favouring wind, and with good fortune to aid him. As soon as Messer Arthilao was embarked and well on his way outward Messer Liberale betook himself to the house of Madonna Daria, his well- beloved neighbour, and thus spake to her: 'Madonna, Messer Arthilao, your good husband and my very dearest friend, before he set forth on this voyage, besought me with the most pressing entreaties to take under my charge the care of all his affairs, and of you yourself, madonna, as well; and likewise to keep you mindful of all the things for your good of which you may stand in need. I, for the sake of the affection which always has existed and still exists between him and me, promised him that I would perform any duty he might lay upon me. Wherefore I have come to you at once in order that you may let me know your will, without hindrance, concerning any matter which may suggest itself to you.'
Now Madonna Daria, who was by nature very sweet and gentle, thanked Messer Liberale heartily for this speech, begging him at the same time to be as good as his word if at any time she should find herself in need of his good offices. To this Messer Liberale answered that he assuredly would not fail her, and, in discharge of his promise, he was very constant in his visits to his fair neighbour, and took good care that she wanted for nothing. In the course of time it came to his knowledge that she was with child, but feigning to be ignorant thereof, he said one day to her, Madonna, how are you feeling? doubtless somewhat estranged on account of the absence of your husband, Messer Arthilao.' And to this Madonna Daria answered, 'Of a surety, my good neighbour, I feel his absence for many reasons, but above all on account of my present condition.' 'And in what condition,' said Messer Liberale, 'may you find yourself?' 'I am three months gone with child,' Madonna Daria replied, 'and there is moreover something strange about this pregnancy of mine. I never felt myself so ill at ease before.' Messer Liberale when he heard this said, 'But, my good neighbour, are you really with child?' 'I would it were you instead, my friend,' said Madonna Daria, 'and that I were well quit of it.''
Now on account of what had passed it ensued that, in the course of inter views of this kind with his fair neighbour, Messer Liberale was so much charmed by her beauty and her soft plump figure, that he became hotly in flamed with amorous desire for her, and night and day could turn his thoughts to nothing else than how he might ob tam gratification of his dishonest wishes, but the love in which he held his friend Messer Arthilao kept him back for a time. But after a while, spurred on by the violence of his passion, which melted all his good resolutions, he went one day to Madonna Daria, and said, 'Alas my dear friend, how deeply grieved I am that Messer Arthilao should thus have gone away from you and left you pregnant; because, on account of his sudden departure, he may very well have forgotten to complete the child which he begat and which you now carry in your womb. On this account, perchance, it has come to pass that your pregnancy is such an uneasy one.' 'O! my friend,' cried Madonna Daria, 'do you really believe that the infant which I bear in my womb may be lacking in one or other of its limbs, and that I may be suffering therefor?' 'Of a truth,' replied Messer Liberale, 'that is my opinion; nay, I hold it for certain that my good friend Messer Arthilao failed to give it the due number of limbs. It often happens in cases of this sort that one child is born lame and another blind, one of this fashion and another of that.' 'Ah! my dear friend,' said Madonna Daria, 'this thing you tell me greatly troubles my mind. Where shall I look for a remedy, so that this misfortune may not befall me?' My dear neighbour,' Messer Liberale replied, 'be of good cheer and do not distress yourself in vain, for know that a remedy is to be found for everything except death.' 'I beg you, for the love you bear to your absent friend,' said Madonna Daria, 'that you will put me in the way of finding this remedy; and the sooner you can let me have it, the more I shall be bound to you; then there will be no danger lest the child should be born imperfect.'
When Messer Liberale found that he had brought Madonna Daria into a mood favourable for his purpose, he said to her: ' Dear lady, it would be great baseness and cowardice in a man if, when he saw his friend ready to perish, he did not stretch out his hand to aid him. Wherefore, seeing that I am able to supply the defects which your infant at present has, I should be a traitor to you and should be working you great wrong If I did not come to your assistance.' 'Then, my dear friend,' said the lady, 'do not make any longer delay, but set to work straightway, so that the child may be made perfect at once; for, besides the pity of it, it would be a most grievous sin.' 'Do not let any doubt on this score trouble you,' said Liberale; 'I will discharge my duty to the full; and now give orders to your waiting- woman that she get ready the table, and in the mean time we will make a beginning of the good work we have in hand.'
Thus, while the waiting-woman was getting
in order the table, Messer Liberale went with Madonna Daria into the
bedchamber and having made fast the door, he began to caress her and
kiss her, giving her the most loving embracements man ever gave to woman.
Then replied Messer Liberale, 'Pray tell me which is the greater sin, to lie with your friend, or to let this infant come into the world maimed and imperfect?' 'I judge that the greater sin would be,' replied Madonna Daria, 'to let a child be born, through the fault of its parents, in an imperfect state.' 'Then,' rejoined Messer Liberale, 'you would assuredly be guilty of a great offence were you to refuse to let rue bring to pass all that work your husband left undone in the formation of the child.' Now the lady, who desired greatly that her offspring should come into the world perfect in all its members, gave credence to these words of her neighbour, and, notwithstanding the close tie between him and her husband, she gave way to his desires, and many and many a time hereafter they took their pleasure together. Indeed, so pleasant to the lady seemed this method of restoring to her infant whatever might be wanting, that she was ever begging Messer Liberale to take good heed lest he should fail, as her husband had failed before. Liberale, who found he had fallen upon a very dainty morsel, did his best, both by day and night, to make up anything which might be wanting in the child, so that it might be born perfect in every way. And when Madonna Daria had gone her full time, she was brought to bed with a lusty boy, who proved to be the very counterpart of Messer Arthilao, and perfectly formed, lacking nothing whatsoever in any of his parts. On this score the lady was overjoyed, and full of gratitude to Messer Liberale as the cause of her good fortune.
After a short time had passed Messer Arthilao returned to Genoa and betook himself to his home, where he found his wife restored to health and fair as ever, and she, full of joy and merriment, ran to meet him with her baby in her arms, and they embraced and kissed one another heartily. And as soon as Messer Liberale got news of the return of his friend, he quickly went to see and greet him, congratulating him on his happy return and on his well-being. A few weeks later it happened that Messer Arthilao, as he sat at table one day with his wife and fondled the child, spake thus: 'O Daria, my wife, what a beautiful child this one of ours is! Did you ever see one better made? Look at its whole presence, and admire its pretty face and its bright eyes, which sparkle as if they were stars!' And thus, feature by feature, he went on praising the shapely boy. Then Madonna Daria answered: 'Of a truth there is nothing wanting in him, but that is not altogether owing to your fine performances, my good man; because, as you know well enough, I was three months gone with child when you went away, and the child which I had conceived was not yet fully furnished with his members, whereby I had like to have had grave mischance in my pregnancy. Wherefore we have great cause to thank our good neighbour Messer Liberale, who was most, eager and diligent to supply out of his own strength all that was lacking in the child, making good all those parts where your own work had failed.' Messer Arthilao listened to and fully understood this speech of his wife, and felt wellnigh beside himself with rage. 'It seemed as if he had a sharp knife in his heart, for he quickly comprehended that Messer Liberale had played the traitor to him and had debauched his wife but, like a sensible man, he feigned not to have understood the meaning of what he had heard, and held his peace, turning the discourse, when he spoke again, upon other matters.
But when he was risen from the table, Messer Arthilao began to cogitate over the strange and shameful conduct of his friend, whom he had loved and esteemed far above any other man in the world, and day and night he brooded and planned in what fashion, and by what method, he might best avenge himself for the great offence which had been wrought against his honour. The poor wight, thus engaged, harboured ever these projects, scarcely knowing what course he would take, but in the end he determined to do a certain thing which would let him bring to pass the issue he especially willed and desired. Wherefore one day he said to his wife, 'Daria, see that to morrow our table may be furnished a little more generously than is our wont, because I wish to invite Messer Liberale and Madonna Propertia his wife, our good neighbours, to dine with us; but take heed that, as you love your life, you speak not a word of any sort, and let pass anything you may see or hear without re- mark or notice.' And Madonna Daria agreed to do as he proposed. Then having left the house he betook himself to the piazza, where he met his neighbour, Messer Liberale, whom, together with his wife, Madonna Propertia, he bade come together on the following day. And Messer Liberale gladly accepted the invitation.
On the following day the two invited guests repaired to the house of Messer Arthilao, where they met a most friendly greeting and reception. And when they were all gathered together and were conversing on this thing and that, Messer Arthilao spake thus to Madonna Propertia: 'Dear neighbour, while they are getting ready the viands and setting the table, I would you took some trifle to sustain you.' And, having led her aside into a chamber, he handed to her a beaker of drugged wine with a toast thereto, both of which she took, and, without any fear whatever, ate the toast and emptied the beaker of wine. Then they returned, and, having placed themselves at the table, began merrily the dinner.
But long before the feast had come to an end, Madonna Propertia began to feel drowsiness stealing over her, so that she could scarce hold open her eyes, and Messer Arthilao when he perceived this said: ' Madonna, will it please you to go and rest yourself a little; peradventure last night your slumber was broken,' and with these words he conducted her into a chamber where, having thrown herself upon the bed, she fell asleep at once. Messer Arthilao, fearing lest the potency of his draught should pass off,' and that time might fail him for the carrying out of the project which he was secretly keeping in his mind, called Messer Liberale and said to him: 'Neighbour, let us go out for a little, and leave your good wife to sleep as long as she may need; peradventure she was astir somewhat too early this morning and is in want of sleep.' Then they both went out and betook themselves to the piazza, where Messer Arthilao made believe to be pressed in the despatch of certain matters of business, and having bidden fare well to his friend, returned privily to his own house, and, being come there, stole quietly into the chamber where Madonna Propertia was lying. When he went up to the bed he perceived that she was sleeping quietly, whereupon, without being espied by any one of the people in the house or rousing the notice of the lady herself, he took away from her, with the utmost lightness of hand, the rings she wore on her fingers and the pearls from about her neck, and withdrew from the chamber.
The effects of the medicated draught had entirely dissipated themselves by the time Madonna Propertia awoke, and, when she felt inclined to rise and leave the bed, she remarked that her pearls and her rings were missing; so, having got up, she searched here and there and everywhere, turning everything upside down without finding any trace of the thing she was seeking. Wherefore, mightily upset, she rushed out of the room and began to question Madonna Daria whether by chance she might not have taken her pearls and rings, but Madonna Daria assured her friend that she had seen nothing of them; where upon Madonna Propertia was wellnigh beside herself with agony. While the poor lady was thus distraught with grief and anxiety, without any notion as to where she should seek a remedy for her trouble, who should come in but Messer Arthilao, and he, when he saw his friend's wife so painfully agitated, said in a somewhat diffident tone: 'What has come to you, dear friend, that you are in such trouble?' In answer to this question Madonna Propertia told him the whole misfortune which had befallen her; whereupon Messer Arthilao, making as if he knew nought of the matter, thus spake to her: 'Make a close search, Madonna, and consider well whether you may not have put these your jewels in some place which you no longer remember. But in any case, supposing that you should not be able to find them, I promise you, on the faith of our old friendship, that I will make such an investigation of the matter that they who have taken away these things of yours will find they have played a bad turn for themselves; but first, before we put our hands to the business, I beg that you will once more make a diligent search in every corner.
Whereupon the ladies and the serving women as well searched and re-searched the house from top to bottom, turning everything upside down and finding nothing. Messer Arthilao remarking their ill success, began to make an up roar through the house, threatening now this one and now that with ill handling, but they all swore solemnly that they had no knowledge of the matter. Then Messer Arthilao, turning towards Madonna Propertia said: 'My dear neighbour, be not overcome by this trouble, but keep a light heart, for I am at your service to see this matter to an end. And you must know, my dear friend, that I am the possessor of a secret of so great virtue and efficiency that by its working I shall be able to lay my hand on the man, whoever he may be, who has taken your jewels.
When she heard these words Madonna Propertia said: 'Oh, Messer Arthilao! of your kindness I beg you to make this experiment, in order that there may be no cause for Messer Liberale to suspect me, or to think of me as an evil doer.' Whereupon Messer Arthilao, seeing that the time was now come when he might meetly work his vengeance for the injury which had been done him of late, called for his wife and for the serving-women, and strictly charged them that they should get them gone out of the chamber, and that no one of them should dare to come near to it under any pretence, except he should summon her thither. And when his wife and the women folk were gone, Messer Arthilao closed the door of the chamber, and having drawn with a bit of charcoal a circle on the floor and figured therein certain signs and characters of his own invention, said to Madonna Propertia: 'Now, my dear friend, lie down on that bed and take heed you move not, neither have any fear on account of anything you may feel, forasmuch as I will not go hence till I shall have found your jewels.' 'You need not have the smallest fear,' said Madonna Propertia, 'that I will budge an inch, nor indeed do the least thing of any sort, unless I have your commands thereanent.' Then Messer Arthilao, having turned himself towards the right, made certain signs upon the floor, then turning to the left made other signs and conjurations in the air, and pretending the while to be conversing with a multitude of spirits, uttered all sorts of strange noises in a fictitious voice in such a way that Madonna Propertia was not a little bewildered, but Messer Arthilao, who had foreseen this, reassured her, and speaking comforting words to her bade her not to be affrighted. And when he had been within the circle for about half a quarter of an hour, he began to speak certain words in a gurgling tone, which were as follows:
What I have not found, what I am seeking
Madonna Propertia was fully as much astonished as pleased as she listened to these words, and, when the incantation was finished, Messer Arthilao said: 'Dear friend, you have heard all that was said. The jewels which, as you believed, you have lost, are somewhere about you. There is no need for any further grief. Keep up your spirits, and we will find them all. But it is necessary that I should seek for them in the place where you understand they are.' The lady, who was very desirous to get back her jewels, answered eagerly: 'Good friend, I fully comprehend all this. Do not delay, I beg you, but begin your search with all despatch.' Whereupon Messer Arthilao came forth out of the circle, and, having made ready for his sport by lying down beside the lady on the bed, straightway began his fishing, and at the same moment when he made his first cast, he drew forth a ring from his bosom (without the lady seeing it), and this he handed to her, saying: 'See, Madonna, how successful, how good a fisherman I am, how at the first cast I have recovered your diamond!' Madonna Propertia, when she saw the diamond, was greatly pleased and said: 'Ah, my good, kind friend! I pray you not yet to cease your fishing; then perhaps you will get back all the other jewels I have lost.' Messer Arthilao kept on at his angling like a man, now bringing out one lost jewel, now another, working so well with his tackle that finally he recovered and handed back to the lady every article that had been lost.
For this service Madonna Propertia was highly grateful and quite satisfied with the issue of the affair, and, having got back all her precious jewels, she said to Messer Arthilao: 'Dear friend, see how many and valuable things you have recovered for me by your good faith and diligence; peradventure by another cast of your line in the same place you might win back for me a beautiful little kettle which was stolen from me some days ago and which I prized very highly." Then Messer Arthilao answered: 'Most willingly would I do this, were I not somewhat wearied just at present over what I have already done. Be assured that at some future time I shall be quite ready to make a trial to get back your kettle, and I have good hope that we may succeed.' Madonna Propertia was fully content with this proposition, and, having taken leave of Messer Arthilao and Donna Daria, she took her jewels and returned home with a light heart.
A short time after this it happened that one morning, when Madonna Propertia was lying in bed with her husband, and the two chatting pleasantly together, she said to him: 'Oh, husband! i'faith consider whether you might not, by taking a turn of fishing, find for me the little kettle which we lost a long time ago; because, forsooth, some days since I happened to miss certain of my jewels, and Messer Arthilao, our good neighbour, was kind enough to come to my aid, and, by fishing for them most skilfully, found every one of them and gave them back to me. And when I begged him that he would try another cast with the view of finding the kettle, he told me that he was unable to recover it just then, seeing that he had wearied himself some what by the fishing he had already done on my behalf. Wherefore, I beg you, let us two make a trial to see whether we may not be able to get it back.'
Messer Liberale, when he listened to this speech, understood well enough what manner of repayment his neighbour had made him for his own trick, and, holding his peace, was fain to pocket the affront patiently. On the following morning the two neighbours, when they met upon the piazza, looked narrowly one at the other, but neither of them had the courage to broach the subject, so nothing was said on one side or the other. Nor did they take their wives into their confidence, but the issue of the affair was that for the future a common right was established for either one to take his diversion with the wife of the other.
This story told by Alteria was so mightily to the taste of the company that it seemed as if they would have gone on for the rest of the evening making remarks thereanent, and discussing the craft and dexterity with which the one friend had duped the other. But the Signora, when she saw that the laughter and the frolicsome speeches promised to go on somewhat longer than was meet, gave the word that the merriment should stop, and that Alteria should follow the established rule by propounding her enigma. Whereupon she, without making any further delay, thus gave it:
A useful thing, firm, hard, and white,
This enigma given by Alteria awakened amongst her hearers fully as much pleasure as had her story. And, not withstanding the fact that certain traits thereof might seem somewhat to affront modesty, the ladies did not on this ac count forbear to discuss it, because they had on another occasion heard the same thing. But Lauretta, feigning to have no inkling of the meaning of the enigma, besought Alteria to explain it, and the latter, with a merry countenance, spake thus to her questioner: "It is superfluous labour to carry crocodiles to Egypt, or vases to Samos, or owls to Athens. However, to do your pleasure, I will unfold my riddle. I declare that the instrument, partly plumed and partly perforated, is simply a pen such as one employs in writing, which, before one dips it in the inkstand, is white and dry, but when it is withdrawn therefrom is black and moistened and ready to serve the writer who holds it in what ever way he will." As soon as Alteria had finished this explanation of her pretty riddle, Arianna, who was sitting beside her, stood up and began to tell her story.
Next: Night the Sixth: Second Fable
Straparola, Giovanni Francesco. The Facetious Nights by Straparola. W. G. Waters, translator. Jules Garnier and E. R. Hughes, illustrators. London: Privately Printed for Members of the Society of Bibliophiles, 1901. 4 volumes.
Anne Heiner, SurLaLune Fairy Tales


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Vision Malevolent #9: Old Pets Scoff at the Playful Ones that Want Our Love
August 11, 2011 3 Comments
At this point in a show like Project Runway, it's a scramble. It's a scramble to figure out who we like, who has legitimate talent, who will be vilified and who will be canonized. It's a scramble to figure out what the underlying narratives of the season will be. It's a scramble for the producers to sort through the palaver and nonsense and unending amount of raw material and find something coherent to form that narrative and those characters. Which role armor can you stuff people into, and such. And for the viewer, at this point, allegiances are like S&P's reputation: we'll turn on you just because we fucking want to, and that's that. But give us a reason to turn on you, however, and it can get ugly, real fast.
Oh hey, Bert.
In episode 2, Bert's bridges burnt like London Bridge. Or, you know, London.
The dichotomy between Episode 1 Bert and Episode 2 Bert just shows how impotent we are in the process of watching and analyzing this show. After the premiere, it was a completely reasonable, even safe, to say that Bert role this season was the show's sweetheart, the one everyone can root for. He was the mordant old man grasping a second chance. His was a story imbued with tragedy, and we didn't want to wait for the redemption; we wanted that Pixar ending now, godammit.
Then a funny thing got in the way: it turned out that Bert is a dick.
Bert acted like a spoiled cunt for 90 consecutive minutes. He put himself above the show and refused to participate in the challenge, which he smugly derided as amateurish, even though the whole point of these gimmick challenges are to show how resourceful and innately talented the designer is. Yes, even those that hath designed for Halston and Blass. And it wasn't just that he felt this way, it was tha he was demonstrative about it. He was vocally cavalier about it all. He smirked more than Mike Mizanin, and in the end Heidi had to go out of her way to scold him on the runway, and how often has that happened?
But the other reason, the main reason, is that I have more information to deal with, specifically the supplementary material on PR's official website at mylifetime.com. This is an invaluable resource, containing post-show interviews with designers and the judges, as well as extended versions of Tim Gunn's workroom critiques, the runway judging, and those scenes where the designers debate who will win and who will go home (called the "Designers' Dish"). The latter is fascinating. For instance, in last week's Designers' Dish, Bryce totally dominated the discussion, despite being a very minor part of the proper episode.
Thus, that supplementary material is essential viewing for any fan of the show, because it gives you some real insight into the designers, and a little better judgment of their personalities. Based on that video, I was fully prepared for Bryce to be a much more vocal presence on the show.
This week, there was a video called "Everybody Hates Bert." If the title isn't explicit enough, let me quote Becky's concluding statement: "He not an unkind person; he's just weird." Now, overlooking the fact that Becky will have her Portland citizenship revoked for being judgmental, the video really is an amazing smear piece. By the end, I expected Willy Horton to pop out and reveal that Bert dropped the bomb on Daisy Girl.
The thrust of the piece was that Bert is irritating, callous, and obnoxiously opinionated, falling on the "insufferable asshole" side of "tells it like it is." And, you know… technically that's the only side you can fall on; I honestly can't recall that phrase ever being used to describe someone constructively blunt. For people like that, such as Tim Gunn, we used dignified words like "honest" and "candid."
For Bert, it's "old queen." No, really, that's what Fallene called him. And you know what, Fallene? Thanks to that blip, you will no longer be allowed on the University of Colorado-Boulder campus. Nice going, faux flapper.
But anyway…. Sorry, Bert. You're kind of like James Murphy if he gave up at 30. Yes, you were there in 1978, the kids are coming up from behind, and so on… now shut the fuck up and play the goddamn game, you idiot.
The other thing from this show that I feel needs mentioning before we start the recap is the concept of defending yourself on the Runway. This has taken many different forms over 8 seasons. Most often, people just meekly nod their head in shame, a show of pained deference that assuredly excites the judges. And I mean, excited. In the most instinctual way. Like, to the point where Kors would fuck anything on the stage, even Nina Garcia.
Alright, maybe not Nina. But still, most designers treat a bad runway judging like a health insurance form: they give as little information as possible, and just try to get out of there with the status quo intact. But even so often, you get the rare Combative Reaction. This is exemplified by Santino Rice's gloriously incendiary decimation of Nina in Season 2, a diatribe that was so vicious and aggressive that Nina later admitted that she was legitimately scared. You also had Kenley Collins' relentlessly passive-aggressive balderdash from season 5.
Both Santino and Kenley came in 3rd place for their season.
But then there's the far less successful tactic of openly agreeing with the judges, which is what Fallene foolishly did this week. In simplest terms, it's pragmatic honesty. It is understanding the limitations of the show's conceit: that you have to find inspiration immediately and then translate that inspiration in less than half a day. If that look is not going well after a certain point, there's no way out. The best you can do is commit to the look and try to finish it in a way that won't get you eliminated. But you have to finish. Even if it sucks, it has to be completed.
So you finish the garment, fully aware that it's shabby. You get up on the runway and they annihilate you. You're not surprisedSo you try to assuage the damage by confessing your own dissatisfaction. And why not? This isn't the fullest of your capabilities. The impossible circumstances got the better of you this time, so why lie? This is the time to be forthright and accept responsibility.
And this is the response you get: "If you can't defend your garment, why should we?"
Heidi's retort is bathed in illogic, and exhibits one simple truth: if they don't like your look, there is literally nothing you can do an nothing will save you. There is no escape from the indignity. No strategy will emancipate you. In fact, anything you say inflates the shame. Fallene got austere scorn this week for refusing to defend a garment with which she was frustrated. And yet, in the premiere Raphael did the exact opposite. He defended his shoddy work… and they killed him for it! Back then, they said, "He doesn't get it." Defend and you are a moron. Concede and you're a loser. There isno middle ground. OY VEY.
So, let's begin.
Scatterbrained montage recap of last week's episode heavily plays up the Bert story, which in retrospect seems like a setup, but it was the story of episode one so it shouldn't have portended anything in real-time unless you truly are an impenetrable cynic jerk. They also play up Josh's banking background, which I touched upon last week. This still makes no sense. It's like when a friend shows you a youtube video and you have to pretend like you're equally amazed. Sure Heidi, that's quite a leap, from handling deposit slips to designing clothes.
You know, except for that little thing where he graduated from FIDM with a degree in fashion design.
And the fact that everyone must have assumed he was gay even back then when he was a shiny-bald male bank clerk. Sometimes things don't fall apart, Chinua Achebe.
They also note Josh's trouble with his model and again I have to stress the importance of watching the mylifetime.com videos (if you live in the US. If you live outside the US, please send money.) In this episodes extended Tim Critique for Josh, Tim goes out of his way to ask Josh about his model, and Tim does not seem impressed. In fact, he flat out calls her unprofessional (apparently she had trouble walking), and his face is engulfed in concern. So yeah, Josh had a lot to deal with in the 5 days he spent on camera, and he dealt with it terribly.
We get our first look at the opening credits and I've always wondered how th….
Ok, what?! Who in the production office looked at months of fandom outcry and bloodlust and thought, "Ah, I see. What you're really saying is that you want more Kors and Nina!" And it's doubly bizarre because they get as much up-front screentime, with the usual barrage of out-of-context non sequitor sassiness, as all the designers combined. The designers are just sort of shuffled about behind Tanatar Korrsa's smug bronze visage.
In fact, all the designers get to do is pose and primp.
Or they look like mud clones, aka "We need more shots, just get fucking PA out there and we'll fix it in post!"
And, I should point out, that Josh M.has already gotten more face time than half the designers will get in the whole show.
And here we get yet another shot of a goddamn cab in Manhattan. Guys, please. We know where you are. Just show the shackled immigrant selling hats. That's more than enough to establish setting.
So we get the usual sequence of sleepy designers alternatively providing epitaphs and putdowns to the designer that fell the night before. Kim makes a weird reference to Raphael entering a Beyonce look-alike contest… it doesn't make sense, but the other designers laugh at her joke anyway, because Kim looks like a dirty fighter and they know she'll dangle them out the window. Also, they're idiots.
Josh feels better having gotten a full night's sleep. He states that his goal for challenge #2 is not to win, but simply make it through and on to challenge #3. I'm surprised that he would admit this.
So the girls chatter because that's what girls do! Men sit around a table and talk. Girls sit on their beds and gossip. But I have to say, when you look at these four together…
Danielle already looks like an anachronism. If Gretchen looked like she was from the 1970's, Danielle looks like she was transplanted here from the 1870's. Even the attitude's fit. Gretchen was the epitome of the Me Decade, and Danielle seems to have that frosty, restrained antebellum attitude that carried over residually into the Reconstruction Era.
Funny thing about Danielle, though: how many scenes has she actually been in? How many words has she spoken on camera? We got that gem from last week about how she felt she her placement was not good enough, but otherwise, she's literally been a non-entity.
She does make the most of her aired vocalizations, though. In the "Everyone Hates Bert" video, she shows trademark restraint as she talks about the old man, and her description of a "tiff" they had in which Bert called her a "stupid idiot" is hilarious.
Speaking of Villified Classy Gay Man in the Christopher Radko Vein, he is being teased by his roommates about being the target of everyone going forth. He takes in in stride.
Heidi comes out, looking spectacularly casual, and provides one of the more obvious pun-clues in recent memory, stating that the next challenge will provide the designers a chance to "unleash" their creativity. Josh M. instantly presumes S&M…. This is produced by the Weinsteins, Josh, not the Wachowskis.
The designers meet Tim on 14th street, and hey! They show us Central Park? What, you couldn't follow a goddamn cab from Parsons to 14th in real-time? You've got 90 minutes to fill, you know. And nothing would provide setting more than that. Make sure you don't transcribe the "speaking foreign" of the cabbie on his cell phone, though. I like counting the seconds between the times I pick up the word "traffic" in his rambl…
Ok, so the pack of designers are walking down the street and…. there's Tim!
They are at Petland Discounts, and the challenge is this:
Did I mention that Fallene is styled like a fucking flapper again? Girl, move on. Olivier mentions how the only pets he had growing up were rabbits. LOL, he's so British. Anyway, nothing is off limits. They can buy whatever they want, as long as it is in the store and somehow related to domesticated animals. They have $300 to spend, and they are all excited about it. Even Laura is excited about getting $300, which makes zero sense. Never break character, you dummy.
Tim fervently stresses that materials that look like conventional fabrics will be frowned upon, and that muslin is allowable as a base. This year, the designers heard that part, and we all paid for it. They also sprint into the store, something that doesn't make any sense, either. You have 30 minutes to shop in a goddamn pet store. Why do you feel rushed?
So, without having even left the pet store, we get two of our intra-episode stories, fully formed: Bert is a dick, and Fallene fails at "her" challenge. Bert being a fucktard was a surprise, but we pretty much see Fallene's story happen in every Unconventional Challenge. There's always the wacky designer with strange aesthetics that everyone looks to perform brilliantly in a challenge such as this, and they always fail. And not merely because of the pressure, but because this is too close to their aesthetic. If "having fun with it" is actually your natural philosophy, it's very unsettling to be forced into "having fun with it." Fallene's gripe about not having enough time is actually valid: when this is the kind of thing you normally put a lot of effort into, it's not exactly easy to relax. The stakes are higher for you, whereas the other see this as a time to have fun and do something weird for a change.
Funny thing, though: Bryce was in the same boat. They sold it harder for Fallene, but subplot of the episode was that Bryce was going through the exact same thing, of being a designer with an outlandish and fun portfolio, and struggling with the concept of being demanded to produce fun and outlandish. It's difficult to orient yourself to that kind of thinking.
By the way, while Fallene is talking about how this challenge suits her so well, she notes that, "I don't take fashion to seriously." Ok, couple this with Josh's comment about how his goal simply to survive and the lack of self-awareness is off-the-charts right now. These kids are just setting themselves up, which is pretty shameful in SEASON NINE. You have got to know that these comments can be distorted. Easily distorted. At this point, the producers must have wondered: "If we leave a running camera in the interview room, could we take the rest of the season off?"
Anthony congratulates himself for purposely choosing materials based on what the other designers are not choosing. Then there's this amusing juxtaposition:
And thus, plot #2: Bert is a smug bastard that considers himself above the challenge. He flat out says that he doesn't want to do the challenge, and feels no impulse to do so because he has immunity. And this, people, is why immunity is the greatest thing ever. At worst, it merely makes people complacent, subconsciously shifting the balance of power. BUT, it can also cause people to completely self-destruct. Bert didn't go that far, but he put himself on that road. The judges were NOT amused by this display. He actually called this challenge "clown stuff!"Awesome.
Oddly enough, though, he compliments Laura for buying those anti-scratch cones you put around a pet's neck. Laura may be quite disagreeable, but that girl's got a sharp mind. And in these two episodes she's displayed knowledge and technique. Get used to her, because she's not going anywhere for a while.
Anthony lays out his birdseed-as-beading dress. Becky openly laughs at Cecilia's idea to make her dress using dry dog food. I mean, she's really laughing.
Elsewhere, Bryce begins his attempt to break the basic cable record for saying "wee-wee pads" in one hour, previously held by Puppy Bowl VI. Laura tries her cone skirt on. Fallene is confused by her own choice of materials, while Viktor has a conversation with her from across the room about how this challenge is up her alley. We also get pointed backstory about her hippie liberal parents.
Olivier mentions his upbring in Ohio and how he moved to Lo….
Well, never mind that, because Viktor and Josh M are flirting like crazy. That, or they are openly taunting and sabotaging each other. Or BOTH! X3
Back from break, Josh M notes how comfortable he is with this challenge because he grew up in the theater. Yeah, Josh, we knew it before you even said it. Funny how every backstory we're hearing from this crop this far is exactly what we imagined when we first saw their pictures the PR website. Which is weird, because their personalities are quite different than what we imagined, in most cases.
We see Josh C and Cecilia dying their materials, and I can't really recall seeing designers being shown dying stuff this often in a long time. But then again, we've had two unorthodox challenges in the very first episode. We're two shows in and Mood hasn't even been mentioned yet. That's a bizarre and intriguing twist, but I hope this doesn't leave them bare at the end.
Laura gives us yet another explication of her "upper midle class" background, and how this giver her an inherent edge when determining what is luxorious and what isn't, due to shopping at luxorious stores since her childhood. Well, can't argue with that logic.
And we're really getting the characterization this week, as Fallene now reveals that she is a hair stylist by trade and a self-taught designer. She leaves out the part about how she was actually inspired in her youth by a trip the the Fashion Design School at Brooks College. Somehow, this translated into getting no formal training at all.
Bert explains to various people his complete disregard for the challenge, resulting in yet another instance of Josh McKinley. physically expressing his feelings:
Tim arrives, and he is universally stunned. He is stunned that Viktor manipulated the pads to the point of being unrecognizable. He is stunned by how brazen Bert is. He is… ok, well he's not stunned by Josh C. But he's supportive, I guess. While Tim talks to Olivier, they cut to a jaded-looking Anthony several times, which is a nice touch upon repeated viewings. Tim is concerned for Bryce, and he gives shrewd advice to Laura. Josh M. intently listens to Tim's critique about time constraints, and shows a malleability that is pretty remarkable.
The models come in. Bert's model just goes along with whatever Bert is whining about, whilst Bryce notes that everyone is actually having fun while Bert is demonstratively miserable and bratty. The models all seem excited, except for Julie's model who is either totally baffled by Julie design or understands it far too well.
Josh M. reconfigures his design on the fly, based on the amount of time he has. It's pretty commendable. Less commendable is the way Laura's dress fits her model, which is downright egregious. Egregious enough that I would feel creepy screencapping it. She also concludes that a total revamp is necessary. Josh decides to use neon aquarium rocks to form a multi-colored top, and Julie uses cardboard stripping from cat scratchers to form a dress of the same shape.
Meanwhile, Bert builds a little mentor-protege relationship with Olivier, since Olivier also has minimalist tastes. And imagine that, he still went along with the challenge instead of belittling the whole thing. Astounding. Bert asks Olivier what he is thinking about for a belt, and Olivier has a My So Called Life moment.
The Joshua's bond, as Josh M talks Josh C out of styling a clutch into the look. Looking at this scene again, it seems like his main reason is because he doesn't trust the model. Maybe Josh really was handicapped. You know, apart from making awful clothes. Julie is self-critical, while Bryce has no officially lost control of his garment.
Now, this screencap serves a purpose, and I'm not even going to caption it:
But he's been nothing but caring and motivational. In this screencap, he's effusively praising Fallene's garment. Like, aggressively telling her how amazing it's going to look on the runway. I think Josh M is just the sort of person that loves people. Now, obviously he is a person, and maybe he just sees his own reflection in everything, but from the very beginning of this season he was commended the talents of his castmates. I find it charming. Count me as a full supporter of Bronze Josh.
The designers make the final alterations. We see Anya threading the sewing machine. I seriously can;t recall ever seeing this, and we've seen it twice for this girl now. Anthony has decided to do away with his grass skirt idea and now the whole dress will be covered in bird seed. Josh M displays his new look to Tim, who does a classic Adjust Glasses Take.
Time for styling, and that means:
He's a bit perplexed by Olivier's request to put some of the bedding on his mode's eyebrows, a pretty wacky request totally obfuscated by the grace of Handlebar Mustache Make Up Brah, who breaks out a new character:
Runway Time:
Magnificent. And for all the balderdash about this being derivative, with the collar and all… people, grow the fuck up. It's time to bring your criticism to a post-post-modern level, ok? The Creativity Fallacy needs to stop. This is a well made dress that is not hinderedby the lack of singularity. It's the same reason the first Interpol record was breathtaking despite completely ripping off numerous bands, or why Community is the funniest show on television despite having very little original essence: the material is awesome, the execution is brilliant. Anthony's dress deserved the win.
Bert thinks his piece is amazing, but in full acknowledgment that he didn't even try to satisfy the methods of the challenge. Problem is, Bert, that this could have gotten you waxed no matter what the context. This is basic and totally betrays your lack of effort.
This looks like a 4th grade geography craft assignment. It looks like that joke they used to do in cartoons when someone would throw a baseball around the world, and it would come back in like five seconds with stickers from a bunch of countries. Yet, it's pretty good. It's awkward, it's not top 3, but it's ok. The back is really nice. I would have liked to have seen the back be the entire dress.
It's the same top from last week, and she styles her model exactly the same way she is styled. Cool use of the colors, though.
This one was totally ignored, but I liked it. The shade of blue is striking against the black, and I think the effect on her left side is dramatic. I didn't see "mangled boob," certainly. The back has a curve on the hem that makes me think, once again, that these guys are designing for the sake of upskirt websites.
Viktor wasn;t lying when he said it was a tight dress. I think it's chic. It manipulates the materials toowell, in fact. Part of these kinds of challenges is making your look appear to be normal, but still displaying the uniqueness of the materials. Viktor's looks like a normal dress. There's not a wow factor to it, even if it is technically a nice design.
Now this dress I found to be repulsive. I hate that sky blue color peppered throughout, for the same reason I hated the color of Bryce's look: they look like stuff meant to absorb your animal's waste. That color and texture will always relate to it. Obviously she did a much better job, and her technique is enough to get her by, since these challenges reward that sort of thing. But I'm grossed out by this dress.
I'm also sort of grossed out by Accent Sponge. The bottom looks like a gradient shifting various degrees of urine stain. But the top… the top looks like a rug you'd find in the apartment of someone who follows jambands on tour. I can smell the stench of bong water and ferret droppings on it. I also thought the skirt was a little stiff, but, then again, most of the looks were stiff.
I did think this look succeeded, but there's an inherent problem. It supposed to be a wacky dress, but look at how structured and uniform it is. Each layer of color is distinctly stratified. There's too much order in this dress.
This was my near-winner. I thought it was glamorous and used the materials in a demiurgic and effective way. The skirt is a bit short, and it does look like a lampshade, but I like the top and this it's well constructed. The styling told a story and was well conceived.
But then it gets real good when it comes to the decent looks. Josh M won;t win because he went to far, but they appreciate his ambition. They are enthralled by the bird seed dress, but Nina cannot get over the length, and thus she stubbornly pushes for Olivier's dress. Heidi refuses to budge, in favor of Anthony's, and we are once again at a stalemate. But we get a great line for Kors about going through "Manopause." Careful, Michael. Being in the Tanatar State this long is dangerous. If you die in the Tantara State, the Tanatar Spirit will cease to be!
Olivier wins out and wins immunity for the next challenge, and he adorably says that he will work harder in response. More squeamish is Danielle's response to Olivier announcing his victory. Why was she licking her lips so aggressively? D:

subset: commoncrawl


text:
School uniform is required at Northiam CE Primary School and consists of:
- Royal Blue sweatshirt/Cardigan/Fleece
- Dark grey/black trousers/shorts/skirt
- White blouse/shirt
- School tie
- Black shoes
- In summer children may wear blue checked/striped dresses.
All school uniform is available at Superstitch86 in Hastings. The school stocks a limited amount of school ties and water bottles they are available from the school office.
SuperStitch 86
7 Castleham Road
St Leonards on Sea
East Sussex
Opening Hours 9.00am – 5.00pm Monday-Friday
9.00am – 12.30pm Saturday
Extended opening times during the school summer holiday period
Tel: (01424) 852225
Fax: (01424) 852225
Email: firstname.lastname@example.com
For reasons of safety and hygiene children need to change for PE and Games lessons. Kit of plimsolls/trainers, T-Shirt (royal blue) and Shorts (royal blue) should be kept in school in the Northiam CE Primary School PE bags, also available from Superstitch86.
We have now also set up an embroidery service with Tesco to enable you to order Uniform from them online. Please follow the link below.
which also shows how much has been raised so far:


text:
NOTE: this page is for classic HughesNet satellite internet. If you are using the new HughesNet Gen4, please visit our Gen4 review page.
used This Service?: 2 years •
It To A Friend?: No •
service Bundle?: No
Was told we would have fast internet, but most of the time we don't even have any internet, tho we pay our monthly payment always on time. Really does not deserve even 1star.
Lousy services
used This Service?: 3 months •
It To A Friend?: Never •
service Bundle?: YES
The absolute slowest & worst internet & phone services I have ever tried to use! Regular cutoffs & shutdowns! Mostly slower then frozen molasses! Have to jump through hoops to try to get connected with customer service or technical support! This company appears to be operating on the very edge of lies & extortion!These people should be shutdown!Sure indicates the sounds & actions of SCAMMERS!Probably would be wise to stay away from this bunch! I already HATE these services!
not even ganna give it a star!! my biggest thing is slow internet service!! slow internet service=bad wifi!!! AND i'm stuck paying your fees for another 1year 1/2!! you guys need to better your services!!!
Hughes Net or Dial up, which is faster?
Is Hughes Net faster than dial up…well that is the question? There are times where I find Hughes Net to be faster but all too many times I have found Hughes Net to make Dial Up look good! I have never seen dial up take 30 seconds or more to load Google's home page! To top it off its not just about speed but data allowance! Hughes Net advertises that you can sit there & watch a video about cooking or how to fix your car! RIGHT! Try it sometimes & your data allowance will be gone in about 2 minutes! Stay away from News sites or even Yahoo as they have auto play videos & advertisements that you can't turn off & before you know it your data allowance is down to ZERO! In short Hughes Net is a big rip off & a piece of shit that's about 1 notch better then dial up & because dial up is impossible to get any more you have no choice but to have Hughes Net or no internet at all (& sometimes no internet at all looks pretty good)!
The worst Internet Service in the Country! They should be fined for charging so much and the poor service. They kept running me out of time every month. SO tech came out and replaced all equipment. Still have over 50 percent of time left, but so slow, I can't even watch a movie!! Hate It!!!
This service is not much better than dial up. More often than not, we have to turn on our mobile hot spot in order to download news associated video's, or e-mail. If given the choice ever again and I can't get cable internet, I'll go with the hot spot.
Three months after canceling I got a bill for $215 for a part of the dish on the roof I didn't return after I cancelled my account. They told me the day I cancelled that they did not want it back.
This is easily the worst company I have ever dealt with, the service was between not working and slow when it did work.
Never again. USPS snail mail is faster.
Hughesnet: Don't waste your money!
1. Don't believe their TV commercials! Hughes Net is the WORST internet service I have EVER had! The installation was a nightmare. The installer came over and put the dish on the side of my house. Two days later, Hughes Net said the device needed to be removed and never should have been installed on the side of the house. After nearly 20 phone calls,and missing another day of work, the problem was finally resolved.
2. The offered me a promotional $100.00 rebate back in November, that I have yet to see!
3. You won't be able to complete any work with Hughes Net's snail slow internet service. Don't even try to watch a news or music video, that's just not going to happen! I have spent up to 30 minutes, trying to wait for buffering to complete so that I can watch a 5 minute video. When I called to complain about the lousy service, they said I could UPGRADE to a faster service. The so called upgrade was worse than the base package!
I wish I had NEVER subscribed to Hughes Net. Learn from my mistake and from all of the negative reviews on this board. You would be better off to go to the local library, than use the crappy service of
One star is really too high for this company!
Don't Bother
I read the review from the customer supporting Hughes Net and I can tell you that we knew what we were getting when we purchased. We knew no movies, no games and very few downloads. BUT we did expect BASIC service. We can only connect to the internet 50% of the time for basic internet browsing. 25% of the time it just won't connect, the other 25% it's slower then dial up, and we've waited until midnight and there is NO difference. We have called, their only suggestion is to upgrade to Gen4 with all the fees and equipment charges, no thanks. We are looking into other options now. If you had no other choice (we didn't back when we signed up) then it's better then nothing, but when you pay for a service and can't use it more then you can it's not worth it since we now have the option for DSL we are probably going that way even though it's more expensive at least it'll work!!


text:
Drug Rehab:
New Jersey:
We do not have statistics for Oldwick at this time.
After deciding that you need aid with a chemical addiction you have made the first and hardest step toward sobriety, however the next step of finding that help may be a daunting task if you do not know where to look. This page provides you with a list of public, private, non-profit, and Christian drug rehabilitation centers and addiction specialists near Oldwick, New Jersey.
Oldwick is located in Hunterdon County and contains the following zip codes:
Drug Treatment Centers near Oldwick, New Jersey
Sitemap - Privacy & Terms - Contact Us - Drug Rehab
Copyright © 2007, Sober Pursuit, All Rights Reserved.


text:
My mum has cut me out of her life because I had a row with my brother
Read Deidre's personal replies to today's issues
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD a row with my younger brother 18 months ago.
Mum took his side and distanced herself from me.
I'm so hurt.
I am 44 and have two grown-up daughters with my husband.
Mum and I were close but she's not visited for ages or spent the past two Christmases with us.
I tried to put things right with her and my brother but she won't forgive and forget.
She is very close to my younger brother and his two children, who are nine and six.
She adores the kids and I doubt she will risk upsetting him for fear of losing touch with the children.
I am starting to wonder if I ever meant anything to her.
I'm so unhappy.
DEIDRE SAYS: No matter how old we are, a part of us always longs to know we are loved unconditionally by our parents.
Reach out to your mum one more time and try to build bridges.
Suggest a meal out on neutral territory – just the two of you, or maybe with your daughters.
If she rebuffs you yet again, it is a flaw in her, not you.
It could help ease your feelings to read Difficult Mothers by Terri Apter (WW Norton & Co).
NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE I haven't had sex with my girlfriend in three years because she thinks it's gross
READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Luke is over the moon about becoming a dad but is the mum-to-be?
Get in touch with Deidre today
Got a problem? Send an email to email@example.com. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficialFacebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidreor write to Deidre Sanders, The Sun, London SE1 9GF (please enclose SAE).


text:
Posted by Scott Bassett on January 10, 2001 at 19:56:05:
In Reply to: Wanted: 83' or 84' Ibanez roadstar ll bass posted by TML on January 10, 2001 at 13:49:46:
I have one that is close to, but not quite, what you are looking for. I have a 1985 Ibanez Roadstar II 5-string, the 885 model. It is in very good shape. Gloss black finish with no significant nicks or scratches. The neck is narrow for a 5, probably not much wider than a Fender P-Bass 4 neck. It has the low-impedence pickups that require a 9 volt battery (as I understand it, this is not a true active bass because it lacks a preamp - but I must confess that I have not looked into it in detail). I have a higher-end Ibanez 5 (Soundgear 1205), so I could part with the Roadstar II.
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text:
Here is one more sweet family that was in town for a Hotel Del Coronado conference for a Midwest chapter of the YPO … such an entirely nice group of people. I pulled them down to the ocean for a short and sweet family photo session before their exceptional sunset beach dinner was served. I know they had a packed schedule for their time on and around Coronado Island, with time spent at Sea World, the San Diego Zoo and more. A whirlwind vacation mixed with what was hopefully just a tiny bit of business. Enjoy a few moments from our time together!
Get in touch if you are planning to spend some time on Coronado Island and would like to book a family portrait session with me. 619-990-0106 email@example.com
Follow me:
Facebook: facebook.com/sheilaclappertonphotography
Google+: +SheilaClappertonPhotographyCoronado
Email: email@example.com
Website: www.sheilaclappertonphotography.com


text:
Today, notification to download two upgrades. Got error message that it can't be done. Clicked on the link to a support page that did not address the issue in the error message. Do you want me to send you a PrintScreen of the error message? Please advise. Also, I am disabled and can't do so much typing or clicking and reading on these help pages.
Be the first to post a reply!


text:
Last night the Los Angeles Dodgers season came to a crashing halt with a 3-2 loss to the New York Mets in Game 5 of the NLDS at Dodger Stadium. Despite arguably the best 1-2 starting pitching duo in baseball, for the third straight season they failed in the postseason. The question is what's next, how do they regroup and move forward in 2016?
Personally, I have been a Dodgers fan since I was nine years old in 1988. That year I watched Orel Hershiser and Kirk Gibson lead the Dodgers to a World Series championship with a group of players that truly epitomized what it means to be a team. I've spent the past 27 years supporting them faithfully and trusting that they know what they are doing. I try to trust that things will work out, that the people in place are the best people for the job. However, as much as he's had regular season success and three straight division titles is nothing to sneeze at, but I just don't think Don Mattingly is the manager to lead this team going forward. The Dodgers brought Andrew Friedman and Farhan Zaidi in to run the front office and make personnel choices. They are both known as analytics guys and Mattingly is not that kind of manager. After a third straight postseason failure, I feel like they should bring in a manager that better meshes with their ideas. Plus, with a core group of players that have been in L.A. for awhile a new voice in the room might be what they need to get over that hump.
On the field what are they getting for their $300 million.
Catcher: Yasmani Grandal has three years of arbitration eligibility left. How he bounces back from potential offseason shoulder surgery that zapped him of all his power the last two months of the season will go along way towards how the Dodgers offense performs next year. Backup A.J. Ellis played very well when Grandal was injured and has a 12 game postseason hitting streak. His veteran leadership and rapport with Clayton Kershaw make him a tremendous asset. He is also arbitration eligible. Austin Barnes looked good in a limited role and with his ability to play other positions could be an interesting bench option.
1st Base: Adrian Gonzalez had another solid season leading the team in runs, hits, doubles, homers, and runs batted in and is under contract through 2018. At the end of that season he'll be 36 years old, making it a priority to find a strong core to put around him in case father time finally catches up to him. At present there are no viable options in the minors. Cody Bellinger, currently the #9 prospect in the Dodgers system could be an option down the road hitting .264 with 30 HR and 103 RBIs in high class A Rancho Cucamonga.
2nd Base: Second base is a question mark going into 2016. Starter Howie Kendrick is a free agent as is backup Chase Utley. The question is do you try to bring back Kendrick or sign some other free agent like Daniel Murphy or turn the reins over to prospect Jose Peraza. Peraza hit .293 in triple A with 33 steals and could infuse some much needed speed and energy into the lineup that sorely could have used some against the Mets.
3rd Base: After being Mr. Everything in 2014, Justin Turner just kept hitting so much so that he took over the everyday third base job. Hopefully a healthy Turner, who is arbitration eligible and due for a big raise, will be more like the .323 with 13 HR and 44 RBI hitter he was prior to going on the DL in late July and not the guy who hit just .237 with 3 HR and 16 RBI over the last six of the regular season. That being said he was clearly the Dodgers best postseason performer and will be counted on heavily in 2016.
Shortstop: Shortstop will clearly be handed over to Corey Seager who looked like the real deal in September hitting .337 with 4 HR and 17 RBI. Seager did look a little overmatched by the quality young arms of the Mets going 3 for 16 with 8 strikeouts. Look for Seager to become a major focus of the offense in 2016 and while there will undoubtedly be some growing pains he should be a fixture in the Dodgers lineup for years to come.
Left Field: The outfield is still a major question mark for the Dodgers. When healthy, Carl Crawford has gotten the bulk of playing time in left. However, after going 1 for 11 in the first three games Crawford found himself on the bench in games 4 and 5 of the NLDS. Andre Ethier also saw ample time in left. Both Crawford (signed through 2017) and Ethier (through 2017 with a club option for 2018) have been rumored to be trade bait and this winter could be the time it actually happens. Ethier seems to have the most value after a healthy, bounce back season hitting .294 (highest since 2008) with 14 HR and 53 RBI (his best in both categories since 2012). As much as I personally love Ethier and would love for him to spend his entire career as a Dodger he could possibly bring the Dodgers a quality starting pitcher or the bullpen help they desperately need.
Center Field: Defensively, Joc Pederson is All-Star caliber but, offensively he has to more consistent. There's clearly talent there as his 20 first half homers showed but, there's a lot of work that needs to be done for him to be a quality, reliable hitter. I think a trip to the Arizona Fall League or some sort of winter ball would do wonders for him. The biggest thing is he needs to learn how to cut down is swing with two strikes. Putting the ball in play especially with runners on has to be more of a priority that just swinging for the fences.
Right Field: Here once again is a talented young player that needs to make adjustments in Yasiel Puig. In his first 14 months in the big leagues Puig was a force offensively hitting .319 with 32 HR and 97 RBI in 203 games. But, from August 2014 to the end of the 2015 season Puig has hit just .253 with 14 HR and 52 RBI in 128 games. Now whether it's because of injuries, pitchers making adjustments, off the field issues or what have you the production the Dodgers get or think they can get from Puig in 2016 will be a major factor in their success. The other thing that needs to be said here is that Puig could also be moved. Even more than the bounce back year from Ethier, Puig could potentially garner a major haul for the Dodgers, filling multiple needs if the right deal could be found. Either way Puig will go along way towards the determining the Dodgers success in 2016. He is under contract through 2018.
Outfielders: Aside from those mentioned above, players like Kike Hernandez, Scott Van Slyke and Alex Guerrero could once again play significant roles in the Dodgers outfield. Hernandez looks to be the other option if Pederson can't cut it in center but, is defense needs to improve a lot. Van Slyke has tremendous raw power and could be a valuable trade piece for a quality reliever from a team looking to add some thump to lineup. In just over 600 career at-bats he has 26 homeruns.
Guerrero is the wildcard of this bunch. He came out like lightning in April hitting .423 with 5 HRs. But, dropped precipitously after that hitting just .207 with 6 HRs with rest of the way. Maybe he just needs more consistent playing time who knows but he's another enigma on this team.
Starting Pitchers: Here is where another major question mark lies. Yes, they have Clayton Kershaw, who finally got the postseason monkey off his back in game 4 versus the Mets. But, after that is a giant mystery. Zack Greinke can opt-out of his contract, Brett Anderson is a free agent and Brandon McCarthy and Hyun-Jin Ryu are coming off major surgeries. Alex Wood is under team control through 2019 and should be in the mix for the rotation but, this team has serious issues if they enter 2016 with Alex Wood as their number two starter. Trying to keep Greinke and/or signing a top free agent pitcher or two should be a major offseason priority. With guys like Price, Cueto, Kazmir and Zimmermann set to hit the market not landing a top free agent pitcher will be a major disappointment.
The Dodgers do have a stable of potentially quality arms in the minor leagues but 19-year Julio Urias, 23-year old Jose De Leon, and 20-year old Grant Holmes are all a year or two away from competing for major league spots.
Bullpen: The bullpen was an Achilles heel for the Dodgers almost from the jump this season ranking 11th in the NL in ERA. Closer Kenley Jansen was once again solid and is arbitration eligible. Chris Hatcher struggled early in the season but come on strong with a 1.54 ERA over his last 26 appearances. Lefties Luis Avilan and J.P. Howell did solid jobs as well. There are some bright spots for the 'pen. Howell has a club option and Hatcher and Avilan are under team control through 2019 and 2018 respectively. That being said finding more consistent, quality relief help should be another priority for the Dodgers this offseason.
Offseason Priorities:
-Top starting pitcher (Greinke/Price/Cueto)
-Secondary starting pitcher (Gallardo/Kazmir/Samardzija/Zimmermann)
-Quality setup man
-Top of the order contact hitter
-Trade one of Puig/Crawford/Ethier
-Second Basemen


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Overall, a very satisfying Year 2017 for Hesol Consulting: Logistics & Supply Chain. On behalf of our team, I would like to thank each of you, our Clients, our Channel partners, our Advisors, our Consultants and our vendors.
This year was loaded with Surprises and Excitement; as we see back we have continued to do what we do the best 'We have solved some of the most complex supply chain problems in style'. More importantly, we have maintained our ROI for clients within 7 Months (Max).
The real WOW factor is the '3 New Supply Chain Niche consulting areas' – IoT, Industry 4.0 and Block Chain. Please read our case studies at www.hesol.co.in/blog
We wish you all Happy Festival Wishes and Wish you a great new Year 2018!!!


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Chủ đề: Baseball Blast - Wii
09-18-2012, 10:56 PM #1Silver member
- Ngày tham gia
- Feb 2016
- Bài viết
- 1
Baseball Blast - WiiDescription
Baseball Blast! is a baseball-themed mini-game extravaganza like no other, and exclusively for Wii. Consisting of more than 20 mini games, covering everything from hitting, fielding, pitching and even baseball trivia, it allows players at all skill levels and interest in baseball to join in the fun. And with four person multiplayer support, the voice talents of Bob Uecker and Ron Dibble, the likenesses of some of baseball's biggest stars and Wii MotionPlus compatibility it is a gaming experience not to be missed for both baseball fanatics and novices alike.
System :PAL
Language : English
Size : 582 mb
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1.- http://uploaded.net/file/703bhseb/BaseballBlastWIINTSCENG.part1.rar 2.- http://uploaded.net/file/9t3v7ayv/BaseballBlastWIINTSCENG.part2.rar


text:
Articles related to robo advisory, online wealth management. automated investment advisors, investment management, digital investment advisor.
Michał Różański, CEO of Empirica, was among keynote speakers at the CFA Investment Summit in Warsaw./in Company, News, Robo Advisor /by jakubjarosz
On October 27th, 2017 the CFA Investment Summit, a key event for financial market participants in Poland, took place at the Warsaw Stock Exchange.
The event was organized by CFA Society Poland. The main media partner was the newspaper "Puls Biznesu". The conference was divided into a series of lectures and panel sessions with the participation of nearly 250 experts from Poland and abroad.
This year's event began with the presentation of the results of a survey commissioned by CFA Society Poland. The survey was run on a sample of more than 500 financial professionals and its subject was knowledge of fintech issues.
Its results indicate that, when asked about their knowledge of the use of new technology in the financial industry, only 31% of respondents responded that it was very good or good. The vast majority of respondents (40%) said that they were "neither well nor poorly" acquainted with the topic.
The conference
In the first part of the conference, the speakers focused on what the opportunities and risks the fintech revolution presents, especially for companies and managers dealing with traditional investment advice.
– According to a survey conducted among top experts, they absolutely do not see the threat. Almost 80% think that fintech is not a problem for them, because they are good enough that when conditions change they will adjust and win. On the other hand, for less developed professions that do not require creativity, it is indeed a threat, because these professions will disappear. The ones which stay will be specializations that require creativity, an analytical approach and communication skills – explains Krzysztof Jajuga, President of CFA Society Poland.
The next part of the conference was dedicated to robo-advisory platforms. The panel discussed the difference between fully automated models and hybrid solutions. It was attended by Empirica S.A. CEO Michał Różański, who noted:
–There is space for a whole spectrum of advisors on the market – from traditional to fully automated models. Today, in a rapidly changing world, it is hard to predict how the accents will be distributed. Since now 1 percent of the population uses financial advisory services, there is a problem with supply/the problem lies with the supply, because it pays off for advisors to advise only the richest . This is the space for automated consultancy.
The founder of Empirica believes that the entrance of the generation of millennials in the market, increasingly eager to use AI-based (artificial intelligence) solutions, will especially be the impetus for the development of fully automated advisory platforms, which, using a well-tailored user interface, will allow customers with lesser resources to engage more on the investment market. Which, he added, should lead to its greater democratization.
More (in polish)
FCA encourages robo advice models to deliver lower cost advice/in News, Robo Advisor /by hanifnezhad
Project Innovate and it's move to improve Financial Technology (fintech) across the industry has had a very positive reception across the UK. What project innovate initially set to achieve, was to tackle regulatory barriers to allow firms to innovate in the interest of consumers.
As part of Project Innovate, Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) launched the Advice Unit. The Advice Unit is a special support unit focusing on models that provide a 'personal recommendation' or 'discretionary investment management' for their clients and particularly on automated advice models, including fully or partly automated online advice.
To apply and receive regulatory feedback from the Advice Unit, firms need to demonstrate how their model meets Advice Unit eligibility criteria. In that regard FCA sets out a schema of negative and positive indicators.
Among the positive indicators, the Advice Unit strongly encourages firms to model their service around those consumers who do not have significant wealth or income. Their models should have the potential to deliver lower cost advice to unserved or underserved consumers. Moreover They will need to be able to demonstrate that they offer a genuine consumer benefit.
Additionally firms also need prove that their model is an automated advice proposition. FCA's website for this matter states firms who wants to qualify for regulatory feedback, should have a system that the "core element(s) of the customer journey is automated. This may include some of the following: collecting fact find information, collecting underwriting information, conducting customer risk profiling, undertaking a suitability or appropriateness assessment, identifying suitable debt options, etc."
Firms that meet the Advice Unit eligibility criteria are given regulatory feedback on their model. This could include:
- an initial meeting with the Advice Unit, and other specialist areas of the FCA if needed, to discuss the proposition
- for firms requesting ongoing engagement, a dedicated point of contact in the Advice Unit to provide regulatory input at agreed milestones
- specific feedback on the regulatory implications of the model – this could include follow-up meetings with relevant FCA staff to discuss specific issues, informal steers, and individual guidance as appropriate
- input on how to apply for authorization if the firm is currently unauthorized
Empirica presented technology for Robo-Advisors at Cloud Expo, New York/in Digital Asset Management, Digital Wealth Management, Financial Technology, FinTech, News, Robo Advisor, Software Development, Software Vendor /by hanifnezhad
Empirica proudly presented the technology for Robo-Advisors; How to build great software behind your Fintech service at Cloud Expo 2017 in Manhattan, New York.
The event was from 6th to 8th of June 2017 at Javits Center in New York City, where panels were hosting star speakers from Silicon Valley to Wall Street. The event was focused on Fintech, Cloud Computing, Artificial Intelligence, Cognitive Computing and other hot technology fields and topics. There was a tremendous turn out to Cloud Expo 2017. The event was honored to host speakers and audiences from around the world. Global leaders in technology such as Amazon Web Services, IBM cloud, DEll EMC and financial industry giants like Accenture and Deloitte, together with successful companies and brands around the world , brought the latest trends of technology in one place.
Mr Michal Rozanski, Empirica CEO and board member of EARP Integration used his 35 minutes on stage, introducing new technologies in Robo-Advisory arena. Mr Rozanski, show cased Empirica's newly built Robo-Advisory platform to express the importance of fine technology in automated wealth management solutions. The speech carried on with Mr Rozanski, explaining the maturity Empirica gained facing challenges during development of a modern Robo-Advisory platform from scratch. The session was concluded with Mr Rozanski give away on informing the essential factors of developing a software behind a Fintech service, and answering the 'HOW' for those intending to build such applications.
Moreover, visitors and audiences could meet Empirica representatives at their dedicated booth at Cloud Expo, where they could ask and discuss deeper and in details about the technology behind Fintech services as well as the technology behind Robo-Advisory.
Investors expect robo-advice tools/in Digital Asset Management, Digital Wealth Management, Financial Technology, News, Robo Advisor /by hanifnezhad
According to Accenture report, "The Global Distribution and Marketing; Consumer Research", more consumers would welcome Robo-Advice services to manage their banking, insurance and retirement. The survey that included nearly 33,000 consumers in 18 countries and regions revealed that the majority of the consumers are willing to accept exclusive "robo-generated" advice for certain banking, investment and insurance products.
71 percent of respondents to this survey are open to get robo-advice to assist them in the bank account selection. Approximately 78 percent of the consumers surveyed would allow Robo-Advisors to give them investment advices. Finally, nearly 68 percent of the respondents would authorize their retirement planning to be led by Robo-Advisors.
The statistics behind this report expose an astonishing range of recognition and acceptance of these automated advice tools among people.
Plausibly Millennials are the main reason for this vast acceptance, the group that is about to reach their prime spending years. The economy is in their hands and the market will shape around their interests. They are digitally aware and prefer to perform their transactions online; commonly they do trust machines. This digital native generation might not currently have the highest assets among all generations, but the increment rate of their assets is predictably the highest. Though Millennials are not the only fans, surveys show a wider range of acceptance among retirees and general investment believers as well.
Pragmatically speaking, this range of acceptance promises more banks and financial firms to open their doors and to use Robo-Advice tools.
Genuinely the current (traditional) approaches to some of these operations (banking, insurance, et cetera) are not only costly but also rusty. Transparency, unbiasedness, time, are only some of the undeniable advantages of Robo-Advisors over the traditional style. This has fueled many firms already to incorporate this technology in their systems.
Although the common goal for those firms which focus on Robo-Advisors is 'augmentation', innovation remains a key separator.
Robo-Advisors introduce new features to continuously fulfill their clients' needs and to stay ahead of their competitors, for instance in January 2017 Wealthfront reintroduced "Selling Plan". Selling Plan is an improved and automated process of selling concentrated stocks. It intends to diversify the portfolio more efficiently. Interestingly, the service which usually is available for executive accounts, was made accessible for all users with commission free regime. Moreover, Selling Plan prioritizes selling shares with lower tax rates.
Furthermore in this competition, we have witnessed more use of AI in Robo-Advisors.
Hedgeable's "tax samurai" called Katana, an AI based tax management service designed for high net worth investors. This smart tax management feature will not execute any selling, unless it is tax efficient. Moreover Katana makes intelligence decision weighting tax efficiency with downside protection. Additionally Katana will automatically harvest losses for optimal tax alpha. Additionally this AI driven tool will provide tax-smart aggregation and tax friendly trading.
In summary one of the largest generation in the history is approaching its investing time; they understand, and they do welcome automation. What is specific to this group is its appreciations of fast and impactful tools, the features that Robo-Advisors use as their slogan. On the other hand there are new technologies introduced by Robo-Advisors and FinTech firms, especially more involvement of AI in order to smarten and shorten procedures. Additionally Robo-Advisors are more and more affordable.
These reasons together convince us of there will be upcoming increase of transformation to this technologies as well as more demand from the investors.
Empirica at Cloud Expo 2017/in Company, News, Robo Advisor /by annawaszak
Empirica takes part in Cloud Expo in June 6-8, 2017 in New York.
Cloud Expo offers a wide selection of more than 120 technical and strategic Industry Keynotes, General Sessions, Breakout Sessions, and signature Power Panels. Durnig the FinTech Session we will present own advanced Robo-Advisory Platform and our experiences we have gained for over 6 years of developing solutions for financial institutions and FinTech companies, including robo-advisors. We will illustrate the most important issues of building tailored FinTech software. We'd love to welcome all FinTech innovators interested in how properly implemented technology can move their businesses forward.
Empirica starts development of institutional solutions for MetaTrader 5/in Company, Financial Technology, News, Robo Advisor, Software Vendor /by empirica
Empirica has announced the development of brokerage solutions for MetaTrader 5. Our company has become the institutional software provider for companies using the advanced multi-asset platform. More brokers actively switching to MetaTrader 5 generate a demand for applications expanding and complementing the platform features, while tech service providers as Empirica strive to satisfy this demand by pushing further the development of the platform and its infrastructure.
"For the last 6 years we have strengthened our market position as leading software partner for financial institutions and FinTech companies. We have developed a very strong algorithmic engine, that has already made one of our customers the fastest market maker on Warsaw Stock Exchange. We are pioneers in developing intelligent robo-technology based on machine learning. Now in cooperation with MetaQuotes we will support brokerage firms and investment companies in MetaTrader server extensions that will meet their specific requirements and needs in relation to the forex market. The customers of MetaQuotes can benefit from our ability to combine the high technical expertise and deep industry knowledge of our team", — says Michal Rozanski, CEO at Empirica S.A.
Customers who have already benefited from strong competences and experience of Empirica are Warsaw Stock Exchange, Credit Agricole, brokerage firms and robo advisors like BOS Bank, InvestHelp and Swissborg. Empirica is headquartered in Poland and set up international units in Germany, the Netherlands, Finland and Switzerland.
How AI will cause robo advice to completely outperform human advice/in Company, News, Robo Advisor /by empirica
Most financial advisors are in a state of denial about robo-advice. They say clients value the human touch or need real people to understand the nuances of their financial lives. They're wrong. Soon robo advice will be much more efficient than human advice ever was. The next step in wealth management is to get rid of it's weakest and costliest part – the human advisor.
In this article we would share the results of our analysis on most important areas where appliances of Machine Learning (or marketing term – Artificial Intelligence) will take wealth management to the next level. Those areas include:
- ML in behavioural analysis that tracks typical investors mistakes and reacts on nervousness, not thought-through decisions, spontaneous reactions to market downturns etc. Contact the investors when they really need explanation and support.
- Sophisticated portfolio allocation and rebalancing backed by algorithmic trading and execution algorithms
- Real time adjustments in investment strategy (change in goals, life situation, job, location, marital status, remuneration) on finest level, that human advisors could not deliver
- Combination of long term advice with ML analysis of current budget status (with integration all bank accounts) and spending and saving practices. The result would be high level plans combined with help in everyday execution.
- Chatbot and voice technology – explaining the investment strategy and current market situation in most natural manner.
- ML in in analysis and navigation of tax nuances
Implementing those AI functionalities in robo advice systems will be important step on the way to delivering more financial freedom. Professional advice, available to anybody, especially to those who can't afford it now, but need it most. At friction of the current costs.
AI is beating humans in chess, go and recently even in poker. Now it's time for a financial planning game. And these are not bad news, but not for the financial advisors but for the customers.
If you want us to elaborate on the topic of using Machine Learning in Wealth Management please vote for us to be part of incoming WealthTech Book:
See our Robo Advisor Software:
Empirica presented robo advisory software at FinTech Connect Live in London/in Algorithmic Trading, Digital Asset Management, Digital Wealth Management, FinTech, News, Robo Advisor, Software Development /by empirica
Empirica took part in the biggest FinTech Event in Europe with almost 2500 attendees from 44 countries and 145 exhibitors & partners, taking place in London this December (6th & 7th). FinTech Connect Live combined a large scale expo, with 180 experts speaking in 120 dedicated conferences focusing on different FinTech subsectors, like WealthTech, InsurTech or PayTech with strategic discussion based sessions, keynote presentations, product demos and interactive workshops.
Empirica proudly presented own white label solutions like an intelligent Robo-Advisory Platform, Algorithmic Trading Engine and FinTech Software Framework as well as development services among both tech giants and brand new start ups with sophisticated niche product offerings. Anyone interested in speaking with Empirica about building the bespoke FinTech solution behind own service could meet our team at the stand. We shared experiences gained for over 6 years of developing solutions for financial institutions and FinTech companies, including robo-advisors. We ran many interesting conversations about new market trends and needs, specially in wealth management space. Our Robo-Advisory Platform received huge attention from asset managers and investment companies participating in the event.
Empirica presented also company showcase demo at the showcase theater. While presenting our experiences, CEO of Empirica illustrated the most important issues of building tailored FinTech software.
During the conference there were many interesting presentations and panel discussions about future trends of robo advice and advancements in the fields of InvesTech and WealthTech and other FinTech sessions like: the future of banking, blockchain rising, opportunities and risks in the data economy in FinTech, crowdfunding & P2P lending.
Thank you to all the participants who visited us at our stand or watched our showcase demo presentation!
Empirica Team
See our Robo Advisor Software:
Free version of Algorithmic Trading Platform for retail investors/in Algorithmic Trading, Financial Technology, FinTech, News, Robo Advisor /by empirica
We have just released beta of Empirica – Algorithmic Trading Paltform for retail investors! It's lifetime free for development, testing and optimizing of trading algorithms.
Our development team (exactly this team who implemented the entire system) also provides full support in algorithms development as well as connectivity to brokers. If you need help just contact us.
Among many features what is unique is our exchange simulation where you can influence market conditions under which you test your algorithms. No others software offers such a realistic level of simulation.
In paid versions we offer the execution of algorithms in robust server side architecture.
Download free version of Trade Pad at www.empirica.io. We strive for your feedback!
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When my daughter said she doesn't want to eat salad today, I said ok your choice ;) but now what should I say to Mr. Tomato & family....they have been really excited to meet up with you and specially to show their new 'convertible car'. I better call them and cancel our meeting. She said wait did anyone say Mr. Tomato with his new convertible here....I wanna meet, I wanna meet....please mom don't cancel...pls, pls ,pls ....And there I go :) What a exciting visit it was, they sure own a wonderful green convertible!
Uufff kids & stories are never ending affairs!!!
Assembling this convertible turnout to be such a easy peasy task. Believe me no kid could ever say no for this, mission veggie is complete for the day :)
for 1 car -
- 1 cucumber
- 2 baby carrots
- 3 baby/ Cherry tomatoes
- some cake sprinkles for eyes
- toothpicks cut in half
Steps -
- pill cucumber (i like to use the skin though) find the flat side of it & that will be our base
- just cut the top part of tomato slightly insert a toothpick & attached it to car base
- cut the carrot in round slices to make wheels. attach to car with toothpick
- now add eyes (i used butter as a glue ;)) and toothpick hands on tomato & make smile using cucumber skin
- give a carrot stirring in driver's hand.....
your car is all ready to zoooooom!
After all super moms are not myth, everyone can be ......all it takes is little bit of imagination & mommy's magic......LOVE!!!


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First track, "Myth", is all shivery and cuddly and what you might expect. "My mother said to me/That I would get in trouble", they begin on second track "Wild" while topical synths heave underneath. Meh. There's a cheap, gimmicky keyboard intro and some sub-Kate Bush panting on "Lazuli", which irritates me further. I realise I'm listening to this in a bad mood, etc; but if it was better, it would improve my mood - and I don't have time to wait for my mood to get any better. I've another 315 of these fuckers to get through.
There's too much of this bilge swilling around already. It's too hard to keep engaging with it critically; it's like swimming against the same currents over and again. And I hate swimming. Even the title "Troublemaker" bothers me. It's that kind of domestic, fluffy duvet worship of some imagined sexy, evil being that will never actually cause any kind of threat or - Aaah, fuck it! I'm boring myself now and even here isn't the place for one of those rants.
Maybe it's because there are only two of them - making music as/in a couple maybe drifts into gauzy self-satisfaction. Maybe, maybe: as wishy and washy a word as you might expect. "Wishes" actually lifts my evil feelings a tad; the choppy guitar solo in particular. But I just wish they (and by extension I) could escape from the all-smothering synth noise. It's a ubiquity as unwelcome as the 808s was welcome back in them there days.
"On the Sea" dispenses with the electronic wash, leaving a piano to clinically pick out the same notes, but the music itself demonstrates the same limp purposelessness of what they are doing. "Irene" is almost seventeen minutes long; I cannot and will not be arsed with that. Sorry, Beach House, not your day for a fair hearing from Coc. I'm sure you're pretty broken up about it.