text:
their astoundingly free-spoken mother-in-law and their numerous children. Sometimes humorous and often heartbreaking, this film follows the daily lives of the wives whose situation has turned them into both bitter rivals and co-conspirators against their abusive husband.
In 2011, the Sister Wives Blog started out as a place to talk about the TLC reality show "Sister Wives", Kody Brown and his wives Christine, Robyn, Meri and Janelle. Today we not only discuss the show, we discuss Polygamy in our society, and the public perceptions of the Mormon Religion. We discuss "Polygamy USA" and will be covering "My 5 Wives." This blog is geared towards the adult reader, so please, no one under the age of 18 years. Thank you!
Monday, July 9, 2012
Four Wives and One Husband, Polygamy in Iran, Documentary
their astoundingly free-spoken mother-in-law and their numerous children. Sometimes humorous and often heartbreaking, this film follows the daily lives of the wives whose situation has turned them into both bitter rivals and co-conspirators against their abusive husband.
55 comments:
- SoylentGreenJuly 9, 2012 at 6:17 AM
Mister Sister,ReplyDelete
"Humorous and heartbreaking"--I'm glad you posted this link and included a spot-on summary.
It interests me that ssues faced by polygamists a world apart are not so different. I'm looking forward to hearing the take on this documentary as I always enjoy the posts.
My thanks to you, Mister Sister, for all you do.
- oh pleeezzzzJuly 9, 2012 at 8:44 AM
For me the hugest differnce between sister wives and these wives is their brutal honesty, quite frankly it was refreshing to see. All the women were able to vent on camera and even get angry, insult their husband and their mother in law. You saw and felt their frustrations.ReplyDelete
I've only watched half the show so far but from what I've seen up until this point I would say the husband is way less abusive emotionally then Kodster and he seems to be a hard worker albeit a huge womanizer. Just like Kody's, Heda's wives didn't have to marry him but did and now no one seems happy. Too many mouths to feed and the most current wife gets all the attention. For me the biggest problem with men like Kody and Heda is that they procreate without really caring about what happens to their offspring. For both men (as the mother in law stated best) it's all about the pussy! This is what happens when women aren't educated at all and all the focus seems to be on the male and his needs and desires. Looking forward to watching the rest. Thanks Mister Sister for the interesting post.
- LobotomizedJuly 9, 2012 at 11:21 AM
Interesting documentary.ReplyDelete
First, let me point out a few differences. In Islam, a man is allowed to marry up to 4 wives, for the heck of it. He doesn't become a God on a planet in coocooland. He's allowed to more or less to fulfill his (sexual) needs. He must have permission of his other wives to marry (nowadays, in several islamic countries women get prenups that state no 2nd wife will be allowed, and if a man still marries a 2nd wife the first one automatically get a divorce and granted almost all belongings).
In a normal situation (not these rural country people), the wives live in seperate, large houses, not too close to one another. They have totally seperate lives. Thus, a man must be rich to be able to maintain his several families. One of the reasons therefore is economical honor/showoff/power.
The other reason men marry other wives are sexual, duhuh, lol. But still, he must be able to provide economically for all of his (growing) families.
Here though, they all live together. I do admire their honesty, and they will say others what they think of them, straight in their faces! These are very simple people, but if you substract the material, so are the Browns.
I do have to say though, what we don't get shown, is that men are basically owners of the women and therefore are allowed to be totalitarian and beat them when necessary. From what I heard from people and read in many books, it is totally common for a man to beat the heck out of his wife, and she will still crawl back to him. Figuratively we have seen that with Kody and Christine (in the Morales interview).
All in all, none of those wives are really happy. But I have to add, that in those countries, being a divorced women basically takes away all normal options. No one wants to marry a divorcee, so it's either they stay with their parents and end up all alone when they die (and in such countries, being a woman alone is hard), or they become a 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife.
I did enjoy their honesty, the mother in law and the fact that they stood up against each other keeps amazing me. They are also not trying to portray anything like sunshine and lollipops, don't seem to lie and are just straight folks.
I have found a few similarities to the Browns... Yet their situation is just way different because they can not go to heaven/don't get to get the heavenly perks without Kody. For these Iranian women, it's more a matter of survival, than anything else.Replies
You are correct that Islam permits men to abuse their wives. From the Quran, 4:34:Delete
"Men are the managers of the affairs of women for that God has preferred in bounty one of them over another, and for that they have expended of their property. Righteous women are therefore obedient, guarding the secret for God's guarding. And those you fear may be rebellious admonish; banish them to their couches, and beat them. If they then obey you, look not for any way against them; God is All high, All great."
- LobotomizedJuly 9, 2012 at 2:22 PM
I didn't know that quote (but I know other quotes of loving-kindness, lol). In their culture it is totally socially acceptable, they think every self respecting man should hit his wife from time to time.Delete
- sarinaJuly 9, 2012 at 3:43 PM
Thanks for posting the video Mister Sister!Delete
As far as abusing women goes, that is and has always been the thing I take issue with when it comes to Islam. I think that both Joseph Smith and Mohammed, when they wrote down their revelations, they tailored them to their own needs. Joseph Smith wanted to legitimize his cheating on his wife, Mohammed wanted to take more than one wife also, hence the revelations they received.
Just to clarify, I do not wish to upset any Mormons or Muslims, but that is how I see it.
- PoppyCJuly 9, 2012 at 8:11 PM
Sarina I wholeheartedly disagree with you; not just because I am a Muslim but because polygamy was commonplace in that society at that time so there would be no need for Muhammed Peace be upon Him to create a new innovation of polygamy. Limited polygamy was quite a radical idea for that society, prior to then some men had 15 or more wives and there was no upper limit. As for the quote from the Qur'an this is a poor translation and taken completely out of context. The Prophet Muhammed Peace be upon Him is on record as having never beaten or hit in any sense of the word his wives, children, servants etc etc and his is the best example for Muslims. The verse above is talking about a particular situation where someone's behaviour is completely out of control; and they are going off the rails, I am talking really wreckless behaviour which could earn someone jail time ala Lindsey Lohan, then and only then is a Muslim man permitted to tap his wife in a symbolic gesture which is usually done with a handkerchief or other cloth and on the shoulder its really to say look your behaviour is completely out of control, a little like slapping someone across the face when they are hysterical. Slapping any Muslim on the face is completely forbidden, its even forbidden for a Muslim to slap an animal on the face so this is the alternative. If the wife then comes to her senses and then realises what she is doing then he is not permitted to repeat the same again even with a handkerchief. Also a court could order the husband to have this same type of reprimand for such behaviour; it isn't advised for the woman to undertake it herself due to men generally being stronger and if he was a wreckless character he probably wouldn't take kindly to it. Hitting anyone in such a way as to leave a mark or physically hurt them is not allowed in Islam and it is a grounds for divorce if a Muslim man ever hits his wife.Delete
- LobotomizedJuly 9, 2012 at 9:34 PM
I come from a country with a lot of Muslims (Europe!), lived in a building for a while with lots of them, and even almost married one (thank God I didnt, even though he is still a great guy).Delete
It has happened more than a few times that neighbor kids knocked on our door that their father is killing their mother and my mother would run over there to find the men beating down their wives very, very badly and would put an end to it, disciplining the men (she has that talent). Now I know this happens in all cultures, religions, races but among muslim women, they accept it as part of their lives, at least according to the ones I was friends with (and they dress modern, dye their hair, no scarfs, wear make up, etc).
I, personally, believe the polygamy is a man made custom. There's nothing 'inspired' about it. If it was natural, there would be dozens of females born for every one male born. However, this is not the case and never has been. Even though there are actually more male babies conceived than female babies, it pretty much evens out to 1:1 ratio in live births. With men taking more than one wife, it means the some men will end up with none. That's why teenage boys get kicked out the FLDS on trumped up charges.Delete
Polygamy, just like Grandma said, and the other poster abt. Joseph Smith, it's a way to get p&*(!Delete
- PoppyCJuly 10, 2012 at 8:09 AM
Yes Lobotomized women who are culturally Muslim not necessarily strong adherents to the Islamic faith. Amongst practicing Muslims who do wear the scarf etc wife beating is not acceptable and yes I am in Europe also. In those 'Muslim' cultures where misogyny is commonplace it is just as commonplace amongst those of other faith groups in those countries. You'll also find that those from these cultures tend to participate in behaviours completely opposite to Islamic teachings such as dabbling in black magic, wearing 'evil eye' charms and so onDelete
Yep, Kim, grandma put it quite bluntly. LOL! Grandma ratted them out.Delete
- FootupkodysassJuly 10, 2012 at 3:57 PM
PoppyC, Does it also have to do what country the Muslims are from? LIke wouldn't there be a difference in beliefs If a man was from Egypt as opposed to Saudi Arabia? And also as far as what the Quran says about beating women (I hope I spelled it right). Are these people reading it and taking it wrong?Delete
PoppyC: Please show me where the Koran states that it's only permissible to beat one's wife if she's "going off the rails". Exact verse, please. None of the verses in the section in which I quote (4) have anything remotely similar to what you are claiming here.Delete
Also, is it permissible for a woman to similarly discipline her husband when he's "going off the rails"? For example, did Osama bin Laden's wives have Islamic permission to beat him for his terrorism?
- linnetJuly 10, 2012 at 5:14 PM
Disclaimer: I am the first to defend Muslims and Islam against unfair judgements--many of you have seen my previous comments that did just that. That being said (I'm going to refrain from commenting too forcefully, so as not to start an international incident) the romanticised version of Islamic polygamy presented by both Lobotomized and PoppyC are not generally true for most muslims. I have lived in 3 countries. That includes a European country where I was isolated in an immigrant community of many muslims of many different backgrounds; the US, among hundreds of Muslim and Christian Middle Easterners from a number of countries; and Syria, among Arabic and Kurdish Muslims--both Sunni and Alawite, Assyrian Christians, Arabic Christians, Catholic Armenians, and Yezidi. I personally know at least 20 polygamous muslim families. In fact my husbands own grandmother was taken on as a second wife when she was quite an old woman (by a man who was probaby about 30 years younger). Since she was over 95, and he was almost 70, I wouldn't call her a cougar; and I assume (or dearly hope :D) it was not all about the sex. I also know at least 2 men who married without their first wives' knowledge--and more than 2 who married because their first wives insisted on it.Delete
- AnonymousJuly 11, 2012 at 4:34 PM
I think you could agree to diagree, but not say they are flat out wrong. Each see it it's own way.Delete
- Anonymous jJuly 9, 2012 at 12:21 PM
I liked this docu. because these people keep it fairly real. I'm sure there is plenty that isn't seen but there wasn't a heavy sugar coating.ReplyDelete
It is what it is.
I'd hate to see what it would turn into if they were filmed all the time...it would become as distorted as the SW show I bet.
Thanks SoylentGreen and SWB.Replies
- LobotomizedJuly 9, 2012 at 1:00 PM
These people are illiterate, Iranian people from the countryside. This is how they are. They don't even think of sugarcoating, showbiz, etc. I think they don0t even really know about that. I finally watched it till the end and saw he (way in his fifties) got himself a new teen bride (against Islam which allows 4 wives tops). Then it stopped, I wonder what his mom/other wives thought of that. He will get older, it will be harder for him to work, he'll have babies with this girl, I don't think things will be well 10 years down the road. It's sad.Delete
- SheilaAnnJuly 9, 2012 at 2:42 PM
Lobotomized, perhaps he's thinking of divorcing one of the other wives so he can keep the teenaged one (horrible)?Delete
- HummerJuly 9, 2012 at 3:47 PM
I saw this video before and though why is TLC wasting time & money on the Browns when this tells the whole story in a single viewing. Opens with wifes 1 - 3 complaining about newest wife # 4. Husband spends too much time with # 4. # 4 pines for a baby of her own. Pregnant wife # 3 supplies her with one (to keep her busy & therefore less favorite, plus it's only a girl, not important like a boy). 2 years go by and we now hear how he beats his wifes when he's angry with them. Even wife #4, who is saying maybe she should have married the other man who was interested in her. She has tried to kill herself 2 or 3 times. The husband has given each wife her own home, then tells wife #3 to move because he's going to sell her home. She doesn't want to move, but he's already building her a new place. But surprise, he brings home wife #5, and puts her right next door to wife # 4. Wife # 5 thinks she has married a very nice charming man.Delete
- PoppyCJuly 9, 2012 at 7:59 PM
They are shia so they can marry more than 4 wives. Shias are only allowed to marry 4 wives in a permanent marriage but Shias have something known as temporary marriage which the sunni Muslims (the majority) do not. In the early days of Islam according to sunni doctrine, temporary marriage was allowed as it was something found in the Arabian society prior to Islam, but it was phased out and then finally forbidden. Shias believe the evidence of it being forbidden is weak and that one of the first Khalifs (Muslim rulers) forbade it himself. Technically speaking some Shia jurists allow marrying unlimited numbers of women in mut'a (the Arabic word for temporary marriage). I know there is a Shia 'commune' in Malaysia where the leader has 10 wives, he was imprisoned for two years about 17 years ago not sure what happened to him after that, I did read somewhere that after that he was allowed to stay with the 10 against Malaysian law but cannot find the later article about him now. There was a rather striking pictoral article in a glossy magazine over here in the UK showing his 10 wives all lined up wearing identical outfits.Delete
- linnetJuly 10, 2012 at 5:29 PM
If "temporary" marriage is so forbidden, why is it legally binding in every islamic country? College students in Cairo are even engaging in temporary marriages during their university years because of the housing shortage.Delete
In fact, in Egypt, there is a thriving "white slavery" sex trade. "Temporary marriage" of girls as young as 8 or 9 (as long as the girl has had a single period) goes on--and though THAT (under-age aspect) is absolutely illegal, the authorities treat it as a misdemeanor on the rare occassions that it is reported. It is generally NOT reported though, because it is the father himself who pimps out his underaged daughters. He is paid a fee to "support" the girl for the about a year, in the event that she is impregnated (as is commanded in the divorce instructions of Islam). This is not practised by all muslims everywhere--but it is absolutely dishonest to deny that it--or other distasteful facets of Islam--exist.
BTW, I would be the first to point out similarly outrageous aspects of my own society and religious tradition, but they are not the topic today!!
- zoobeedoobeeJuly 9, 2012 at 3:26 PM
wow! that was amazing. Admittedly I have a fascination for middle eastern/north african culture, having lived in it before. Although as it was pointed out above, marrying all these women was not about getting planets or being a God, the similarities are quite real. The problems they face half a world away were incredibly similar - husband/father does not respect wife, spend enough time with wife, spend enough time with his children, struggles to provide for them, wives/children are unhappy. Unfortunately it doesn't look good for polygamy - however or wherever it is practiced. I was really moved by the compassion of wife #3 towards her sister wife #4 who was unable to have children. Giving up her daughter at birth was a massive gesture towards a woman who literally came along and stole her husband. Seeing #5 show up was predictable and sad. I'm sort of glad the documentary ended there, even though I was fascinated by it. Seeing wife #4 go through the emotions of her husband bringing home another younger wife who probably will bear him children with ease would have been very painful. Oh, and I gotta mention it - his TEETH. ughhhhhhhhh. What a catch..........NOT!ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJuly 9, 2012 at 6:36 PM
I call this keeping it REAL.ReplyDelete
All my son cares about is p^&&*.
Sounds like poligamy to me!
- AmusedJuly 9, 2012 at 7:17 PM
Thanks to SoylentGreen for this video and MS and all who make SWB what it is.ReplyDelete
"THIS" one was fascinating for all the reasons others have already stated.
There were so many point-on-point similarities to Kody and his harem.
The standout moment for me was almost at the end when the first wife saw her grandchild and the camera panned to the closed metal barricade-like door and she said that her daughter had not been allowed in public for 3 years. And that Heda, the father had refused other suitors in preference to this one who was keeping her daughter a virtual prisoner.
Uhhhhhhhh !!!! That was so sad !! The mother's eyes told it all.
Yet another glaring example that *Polygamy is just not healthy for women or children.*
Wouldn't we all like to be able to whip out those pancakes or tortillas, bread, like those women do.ReplyDeleteReplies
- zoobeedoobeeJuly 9, 2012 at 7:50 PM
no kidding! when they first started rolling the dough I was thinking! "why such a long stick"? and seconds later my question was answered! crazy nan-e lavash or nan-e taftoon skills. Now I am craving indian food with garlic naan for dinner....Delete
As I was watching this, I became more and more horrified at how unhealthy this environment is. Wives against wives, husband against wives, wives against husband. Its scary, especially how he disrespects them, the abuse is completely visible and horrifying. The way he treats his own children!! It fills me with sadness that people in the world have to live like this. I feel for the wives here, for it is hard for them to leave their husband, its a matter of survival for them. But the Brown family is living exactly like them, except the abuse is emotional. It saddens me that here in the US women accept to live like this when they have the freedom and help to survive. May God help all the families in situations like these.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJuly 9, 2012 at 8:06 PM
The part where wife #1 pointed out her grandchild and talked about how her daughter's been captive by her husband for three years was SO sad. I can't even imagine.ReplyDelete
Also, was that a real engagement between toddlers?!
Am I understanding this right? Did the one wife give her baby to the childless wife?ReplyDelete
- Ellle AussieJuly 9, 2012 at 9:51 PM
Anon 8:06pm I think that was a marriage arrangement.ReplyDelete
New shoes, she didn't give her the child realy, I think she is just having her raise th little girl. I think the little girl still stays with her actual mother. Women are devalued in Iran, if it were little boy I realy doubt she would let another wife raise him.Replies
I wasn't sure how that worked. How sad.Delete
- linnetJuly 10, 2012 at 4:36 PM
In many Islamic communities, it's not unusual for a woman to let another women with no children (often a sister-in-law, cousin or other close relative) raise one of her children from a young child to a teenager, and for that child to help their "auntie" when she is elderly. And not just girls, BUT hardly ever a first chid of either sex, or an only son.Delete
- AnonymousJuly 9, 2012 at 9:54 PM
She did. But it was almost dual parenting. Biological mom nursed her for at least two years, while the 4th wife was raising her as her own.ReplyDelete
- Gladys72July 9, 2012 at 10:08 PM
My computer is old and I can't watch well. Can someone summarize for me?ReplyDeleteReplies
Certainly you can get the gist of the documentary just by reading all the comments on here. I can't think of a better job of summarizing.Delete
- Sandra QJuly 10, 2012 at 3:36 PM
Gladys, it's about a poor Iranian man and his 4 wives. He ends up with a 5th. The enlightening part of it all, is that they speak very openly and honestly with each other about their place, dislikes, each other, and they are a hoot. Sadly, their living conditions are awful, like spilling blood of a sheep and the kids walking in it. BUT, the honesty gets you. They talk about how much they sleep with their husband and everything in between. Hubby wishes one of them would go. If only THE BROWNS talked this honest, now that would be a show!Delete
- Ziggy StardustJuly 9, 2012 at 10:59 PM
I think his comments said it all, really..."if your well runs dry, you dig another one" Then about how one sheep looks the same as another and it's the same as women -- they all are the same to him. property. He said that TO HIS WIFE. how very sad :( no wonder she tried to set herself on fire! I'm not sure how much comparison can be drawn here between this family and the Browns, but it all makes me wonder. Also, did he build a new house for his 3rd wife, under the guise of saving money and selling her old one, only to have a new house for his 5th wife? Surely they saw through this plan. How very sad! I did love the grandmother, though. Makes me thankful to have air conditioning and furniture and a loving family.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJuly 10, 2012 at 12:26 AM
Off topic:ReplyDelete
FLDS Burying kitten alive as a warning to ex-memberReplies
I read that, even thought about posting it. You may talk about it here, but keep it in this thread!~Delete
- AnonymousJuly 10, 2012 at 3:29 AM
please post more documentaries like this~! this was an awesome watch!ReplyDelete
- PoppyCJuly 10, 2012 at 9:44 AM
The documentary is called Matter of Principle. I am on my phone now so cannot post the link but if you google 'YouTube Mormon polygamy documentary 1991' it will come up.ReplyDeleteReplies
- PoppyCJuly 10, 2012 at 5:15 PM
Sorry the first part of what I was saying didn't go through for some reason there is a very interesting doc that the blog mods should link here IMHO, it's from 1991 and about Mormon fundamentalists mainly AUB and FLDS but some independents as well. Am on phone but if you search for what I've written in the other comment it should be the first to come upDelete
- LetEmBePligButNoBleedingTheBeastJuly 10, 2012 at 1:07 PM
How do you think Kodouche would react if polygamy was legalizes, but with the caveat that if you are plig you can't collect welfare, food stamps, or get Medicaid? Oh , and you have to let women marry more than one man and the women, to get welfare and food stamps. have to name the father and have to have DNA testing to prove their claim? Think he would be so gung ho then? Also, do you think he would then legally marry Janelle and Christine and legally claim he kids? I'd say, probably NOT!ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousJuly 10, 2012 at 4:16 PM
I think that is why he and the Dargers are not pushing for legalization. Simply do not want to be prosecuted for being polygamist. Or is the Kodester pushing for making it legal? Would be shooting himself in the foot big time.Delete
Great documentary. Very sad indeed. The one 'nice' part though was how they were all so open about their issues and hatred. None of that 'it makes us better' garbage the Brown women are always spouting.
- Sandra QJuly 10, 2012 at 3:40 PM
Why can they get away with it in the name of religion, and any other man be arrested?ReplyDelete
- SeekerzJuly 10, 2012 at 4:24 PM
I am not generally a conspiracy theorist type, but did anyone else think the ending with the fifth wife was scripted? They was they ended it exactly when comes in and didn't speak to Ziba or anyone else about it. Only the new bride gives a scripted sounding little speech.They filmed Ziba getting up from bed in the morning, and it is not likely they just happened to be there waiting for her to get up, and she is just sitting there the moment they walk in, and she says nothing. And the only phone call they happen to record is Heba speaking with his bride. I dunno, just didn't look right to me.ReplyDelete
- OneWhoKnowsJuly 10, 2012 at 9:16 PM
In today's times, there may not be beatings, but there are slappings, ignoring, other ways for men to punish the women, and yes, it happens in the AUBReplyDelete
- OneWhoKnowsJuly 10, 2012 at 9:19 PM
Very wild that happens in todays times. Oh yes, let's legalize polygamy and let them all come over here.ReplyDelete
- PurpleToeRobynJuly 11, 2012 at 11:58 AM
So honest, compelling, and interesting.ReplyDelete
Would it not be great if the Brown's were so honest? That would be ratings gold! TLC, are you listening?ReplyDelete
- KodyGreenPantsJuly 15, 2012 at 12:53 PM
I watched this last night. Thanx SoylentGreen. BTW, does your name have anything to do with the T shirt above of Kody and wet pants? hee heeReplyDelete


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Gayle Pescud in Ghana Expat Spotlight
Today's Expat Spotlight interview is Gayle Pescud.
Website: http://gisforghana.blogspot.com
Where are you an expat, and where are you from?
I am Australian, currently in Accra and Bolgatanga, Ghana.
How did you become an expat, and why?
I felt compelled by the Asian tsunami to 'make a difference' in Indonesia but I realized I didn't have the expertise to provide meaningful help. I got hooked, however, on the idea of volunteering in a developing country and I stumbled upon Women in Progress in Ghana. It suited my background and expertise—business, writing, research— so I thought, why not? I had no idea about Ghana when I arrived in July '05 to volunteer.
Best piece of expat advice you've received?
My Aunty advised me to keep a handful of toilet paper in my bag at all times. She is more than wise.
Best piece of expat advice you'd give?
Befriend a very good doctor who you can contact if you're heading to a developing country where you might not have easy access to (helpful) doctors. Also have good travel insurance. Sort out PINs for bank accounts and plastic cards before you leave. Write down and save the international numbers for your home bank/insurance help lines for when you need to call (stolen cards/disaster).
Are you planning or dreaming of a move? Are you going home instead? Where to and why?
I've lived in three parts of Ghana with several different languages, not to mention Cambodia and Vietnam, in the last four years. For now I want to enjoy the fruits of having found my feet in the north of Ghana. Having said that, I would travel for something special—books, coffee, fresh parsley, or sushi, for example.
Tell us more about what you do in your location?
I co-authored a full travel guide to Ghana with my partner, Godwin. I advise a fledgling NGO, Young People We Care (www.ypwc.org). I am also a Ghana author for Global Voices which I enjoy. I also write content for others' blogs and two of my own.
What is the expat community like where you're at, and would you recommend your location to others?
There is no expat community in Bolga apart from long and short-term volunteers and missionaries. I steer away from the latter, and have yet to meet the former as I'm very busy. I virtually never get homesick so I don't crave that contact. For me, a large part of the attraction of living in a foreign country is being among people of that country, wherever it is. It was the same in Japan. Others love the company of fellow countrymen or other expats when living abroad. I understand that; it's easier to relate and it does feel good to offload to someone who inherently 'gets' you when life abroad becomes frustrating.
As a safe, inexpensive and laid-back developing country in Africa, Ghana rocks. I don't think it's everyone's cup of tea, though. If you're looking for glamour or 'lifestyle', I may be wrong, but I don't believe Ghana would cut much mustard.
If you want to know you're alive, take life at a slower pace, contribute to local development (if you wish), cultivate patience for a fraction of the price of an Ashram, take advantage of almost empty beaches, and still be six hours from London, you could do worse. While not as developed as, say, South Africa, it is exceedingly safer.
Unless you're in Accra or Kumasi, there are no luxuries like coffee shops, cinemas, or large supermarkets. However internet cafes are improving dramatically everywhere. Water supply and electricity are notoriously unreliable, but you learn to cope.
You have to accept a certain degree of risk and sacrifice; reliable medical services are not always there when you need them, especially outside the cities.
Still, many foreigners have given up the conventional life and moved here to establish businesses, NGOs, or retire. Lebanese form one of the largest expat communities and there are no tensions between Lebanese and Ghanaians. Many urban Nigerians have told me they prefer Ghana's easy-going vibe and friendliness than Nigeria. The owners of Green Turtle Lodge are a young British couple with a toddler and seem to love it. The owners of Ko-Sa resort are two German couples who gave it all up to take over that delightful grass-roots lodge. The owners of Waterview Heights in Wli, with views of the waterfall, drove here from Germany planning to drive south and retire in South Africa. However, they loved Wli and as the weeks passed they dismissed their South Africa plans and set up home there.
Living here permanently requires marrying or planning to marry a Ghanaian, an employer sponsorship, or investing. Whichever way, it's a painful process. That's when those inexpensive patience cultivation classes begin.
Anything you'd like to add?
Yes, a comment a volunteer made when I first came to Ghana in 2005 says it all: 'Life in the developed world is like living in black and white, but here it's like living with the color switched on.'
In 'my other life' things ran on time and worked. Water flowed from taps, the power never cut and you didn't need power stabilizers for electric equipment, ever—which seems extraordinary to me now. Here, things do not run on time and they often don't work but you learn to make the best of it. 4 billion people live without regular electricity or water supply which, therefore, is actually the norm, on a global scale. Having access to reliable electricity and water is the exception, a privilege. It shouldn't be so, though.
Now, I'm planning to marry a highly unusual Ghanaian man: great cook, challenges the status quo, thoughtful, kind, and cleans. We're setting up our own NGO with a focus on income generation and environmental renewal. You'll be able to read more at www.g-lish.org This is definitely not where I expected to be when I left home to 'volunteer for six months' in 2005 and I'm eternally grateful for that. I only wish the tsunami didn't have to happen for me to have found this life.
Thank you, for participating in our Expat Spotlight! We wish you success and happiness in your current location, and wherever your dreams and business endeavors take you.
One thought on "Gayle Pescud in Ghana Expat Spotlight"
Yet another place I've wanted to visit. Nice to view it from an expatriate's perspective. Thanks for sharing.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
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2) Assuming that you will be automatically accepted. No medical exam does not mean automatically acceptance. There are several limitations, most of them related to health condition. Age is also a decisive factor. Although this policy is more flexible than any other, there are still some boundaries.
3) Assuming that you do not have to worry about your health. People that are declared terminally ill do not qualify for no-exam life insurance. Furthermore, each company excludes people that have certain chronic diseases. If you are sick, you should inform first if your problems makes you ineligible.
4) Assuming that there are not so many options to choose from. In fact you can choose from term life policies, permanent policies and even more, from final expense insurance. However, you cannot choose too bigger amounts of coverage.
5) Assuming that there are not so many companies that sell no exam life insurance. Many carriers realized that they were neglecting large segment of the population and by doing that, they were neglecting good business opportunities. In recent years we have noticed that more and more companies have specialized in offering this type of insurance. Just check online and you will find numerous insurance agencies.
Check our website for more info and free life insurance quotes. Visit our Homepage!


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168 New Milford Turnpike, New Preston, CT 06777.
Rte. 202. (860) 868-2962. A full service salon specializing in: custom haircutting, haircoloring, and waxing. We offer a full line of haircare products. Unwind in our friendly, spacious salon with the breathtaking view of the East Aspetuck River and surrounding hills. Tues. – Sat. 7 – 5.
787 Main St South, Woodbury, CT 06798.
203-586-1172. We embrace and celebrate the power of nature's oldest crystal with several Himalayan Salt Treatment Rooms utilizing Halotherapy. In addition to our salt therapy, Salt of the Earth offers an array of other holistic healing methods to help you restore balance through touch, heat and energy. Spa is open Tues.- Sun. Mondays private appt. only. Cave sessions start on the hour from noon to 7 pm weekdays, Sat. 11 – 5 and Sun 12 – 5. Refer to website for spa hours and a list of all services.
590 Danbury Rd., Ridgefield, CT 06877.
(203) 969-4327. Entering Saltana Cave you are surrounded by tons of Himalayan salt rocks just as if you were in a famous European salt mine. Relax in zero gravity chairs, listen to soothing music and unwind during your halotherapy treatment. Sessions every hour. Adult sessions: Tues.- Fri. 11 -7, Sat. 9-5, Sun. 10-4. Children sessions (1-8) Tues.-Fri. 12 & 5 pm, Sat & Sun 11 am & 1 pm. Salt therapy is known to significantly improve respiratory issues and allergies in children and adults. Fairfield County's first and only therapeutic Himalayan Salt Cave.
407A Litchfield Place, Litchfield, CT 06759.
(860) 567-8575. Full service day spa and hair salon. Massages, body treatments, facials, manicures, and pedicures. Boutique with gift items, candles, lotions, soaps, skin and hair care products. Ask about our packages for couples, weddings, and parties. Overnight spa retreat with accommodations at the Litchfield Inn. Spa finder member. Mon.-Sat. 9-6, Wed. and Thurs. until 9 pm, and Sun. by appt.
900 Straits Turnpike, Middlebury, CT 06762.
Rte. 63, (I-84, Ex. 17, next to Bally's Gym). (203) 598-7525. (203) 598-7525. Voted BEST DAY SPA in CT Magazine 2010 & 2011. Unwind at our full service Day Spa and Nail Salon for men and women. Our licensed and certified estheticians, massage therapists, make-up artists, nail technicians offer the most up to date knowledge in skin care, beauty and stress relief. We offer a complete line of Aveda & Eminence products & facials, peels & masks, microdermabrasions, Hydrafacial Swedish, hot stone & deep tissue massage, cellulite & seaweed wraps, manicures, pedicures, and more. Customized packages, monthly specials, memberships, online store all at www.visobello.com.
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Marie & Rick ♥ Pre-Wedding
Marie and Rick are a very sweet couple and they picked Shek O and Central as the shooting sites. Maries particularly wishes to shoot in greenery and so I did a site visit to Shek O some weeks before the shooting and found some nice greenery places. The cloudy day didn't stop our fun and laughs! =)
V Photography
Locations: Shek O, Central
Lighting partner: Stanley
Make up artist: Sharon


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How to Face Fear: 10 Bible Verses To Inspire Courage
Everyone feels afraid at some point -- whether it's a gnawing, anxious feeling or a paralyzing phobia. Any change, even positive changes like marriage or a promotion, can prompt feelings of fear. The Bible offers powerful alternatives to those voices, reminding readers repeatedly, "Do not be afraid." Click through this gallery to find Bible verses to help you overcome fears and anxieties in your life.
(From the New International Version unless otherwise noted)


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#Muse Media #Muse Media looks for our muse by mixing prose with other media, in this case by looking at the future with Joyce Carol Oates "Remembering backward is the easy thing. If you could remember forward, you could save yourself…" Joyce Carol Oates, The Gravedigger's Daughter * Joyce Carol Oates never shys away from […]
You are here: Home / Archives for Black Water
#Muse Media: The Future and #Joyce Carol Oates
January 16, 2013 By A.K. Andrew
Filed Under: Authors, Muse Media, Quote, writer Tagged With: Black Water, Joyce Carol Oates, Muse media, National Book Award, Pulitzer Prize, Quote


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Motherhood. It's a beautiful, wonderful miracle that you wouldn't trade for the world. After all, you made life! You made tiny little you's that you love unconditionally.
Sometimes, though, kids can be a handful. We all know the feeling, whether seeing it or experiencing it - the tantrums in the grocery store, the fits, the refusal to nap or bath. We like to think that animals experience some of the same emotions we do - the joy, but also the frustration and the "what on earth did I just do" moments.
So here's a collection of hilarious, adorable, and totally relatable pictures of new moms:
1. This mom is so visibly over it, it's like we can read her mind. "How on earth did I have seven of these? I am so tired. When do they start preschool?"
2. This is the picture that belongs with the phrase, "this is my life now". She's clearly just resigned to being climbed on for the foreseeable future.
3. Getting to sit in your favorite spot in peace? Not with kids you don't.
4. Finally, they're asleep. Now we can sleep for...maybe 45 minutes. If we're lucky.
5. She's asleep at the wheel! That's a tired momma cat. But that's okay, the kittens have it under control.
6. Another "this is my life now" mixed with a little "what have I done" and "why is my face a bed?"
7. When will it end? They just keep feeding and feeding. Please make it stop.
8. This mom looks a little...stressed. You know that grimace you give when you're just barely holding it together? That's where she's at right now. You would be too if you had to carry all seven of your kids on your back!
9. This seems like a first-time mom who didn't know exactly what she was getting into.
10. This momma pup looks so dejected we feel bad for her. She has 11 or so happy and full little nuggets, but it looks like she could really use a nap.
11. That is some strong backtalk and sass that little one is giving his mom. We have a feeling she's not going to stand for it, don't you?
12. "What do I do? How did I get here? It's so small!" We imagine that's what this adorable mom is thinking about as she's panicking in this picture. Don't worry momma, you got it!
As amazing as motherhood is, it's definitely an emotional rollercoaster. We love that these animal moms were able to capture all the emotions that come with motherhood!
Which one was your favorite? Don't forget to share this with your family and friends who could use a laugh, and your mom-friends that can relate!


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Tara & Thomas's Wedding
at Museum of Man
Tara and Thomas had their wedding at the Museum of Man.
A beautiful wonderful wedding in winter.
Tara wanted her white wedding when it come to flowers.
She said she wanted to do something a
little non traditional when it come to flowers.
She wanted balls of babies breath for her centerpieces.
We loved to winter romance concept and ran with it.
Her cake was embellished with beautiful pearl broaches.


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Spend Care Free Trip with Kids by Hiring Airport Limo in Chicago
Limo services are for them who want to travel in comfort and style. The royal look and great conveniences they offer make people think they are meant for rich families. That is the reason people consider Airport Limousine services are meant for elites who can afford the grand fares charged by them. This is just a misconception; Chicago Limousine services are not that much expensive, you can avail them at discounted rates as well.
Although, the service is available at discounted rates doesn't mean that quality is being compromised. Airport Limo services in Chicago are famous for the excellent and quality they offer. Want to make the upcoming vacation unforgettable for you and your loved ones? Experience the lavish ride by hiring Hummer Limousine in Chicago without making a hole in your pocket. These services can make your vacation an ideal blend of fun and excitement, as you would get to see all the worth visiting places in the city.
The general public is reeling under the heat, though people are looking forward for the coolest place to Rome around. Planning for a trip, how can Chicago be ignored in such cases, it's most pleasant destination to visit this summer. Chicago is the destination you could opt as per your pocket size. There is no denying the fact that Chicago is a trending destination this summer. If you are planning a trip to Chicago pen down the famous destinations you want to visit, it will help to decide the estimated time period for your trip.
The cool lake breeze somehow gives the soothing effect from the chilling summers and that is the main reason to visit the place. It can be the ideal location for those who seek some relaxation from the killing heat of the plains and the hectic schedule. You would get some enticing sightseeing spots over there to visit with your kids. If you are new to the place Hummer Limo Services would make the job easy for you. To experience the pleasure of heaven on the earth, plan a trip to Chicago today. Chicago stands proud in its pristine beauty. Mountains, Crystal water lakes add some sparks to the natural beauty of the place.


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So, I have put the game sounds into an afterthought mode. Working with the group, and their mind changes and their fighting amongst themselves has left me with a sour taste in my mouth. I am still going to help them with their project, but I am now feeling that it isn't enough, since I find myself not excited about doing it.
Other than that, however, I have started my journey into circuit bending. I went to Value Village, and purchased a handful of child toys that made noise. Amazingly, all of them worked! The first one that I opened up was one of those See and Say toys, where you pull lever from the top and the arrow lands on various animals. I find myself waiting now for some switches and whatnot, to be able to manipulate the sounds to how I would like them. When I found myself waiting for these things, I decided to open up another toy.
This toy had LEDS and while exploring the circuit, I ended up frying it 😦 Sparks literally came off of it. It happens though, and that's why you only use battery powered ones!
After that, i reached for a little playskool keyboard, but find that I can't get the last two screws out of it.
That is where I now sit, is waiting. I have a few more toys that I am planning on opening up, but I woud like to experiment more with the first one that I have, since the other ones are pretty neat and I don't want to fry them, just yet.
Related articles
- Circuit Bending Basics with Little-Scale (adafruit.com)
- BEND: A Circuit Bending Documentary (makezine.com)


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More than just an Art Studio!
Green Art Studio in Boca Raton
Mrs. Diana and the rest of the staff at Green Art Studio delight in helping children channel their energy and emotions into various creative endeavors. Finding new and exciting ways to enhance your child's education is often hard to do, so let us do the work for you! Allow Green Art Studio to introduce your children to the enchanting world of art, and watch them thrive. Art classes, tutoring, and camps will allow your child to grow, learn, and develop while having fun. There is no need to hire any tutor in Boca Raton, when your child can partake in homework help and then participate in fun activities with friends. Your child can also have a great time during school holidays instead of sitting at home, bored. All of our programs are super fun and educational, so don't waste any more time and sign up today!
We are the one-stop for all of your activities, birthday party, camp, enrichment, learning & artistic needs! Nestled in the heart of Boca Raton, we pride ourselves on programs designed with you in mind. From seniors to children and everyone in between, we provide the location, supplies and demonstrations to create masterful works from novice to advanced, cultivate artistic expression, and form precious memories to last a lifetime. One look at our gallery will show you the energy and creativity in our programming.
We like to think of our art studio as your art studio, where learning and exploration take place.
Whether you are by yourself and looking to meet others, holding a special event for your organization, are on a date, or just looking for some fresh new fun, we've got the class to engage and excite the artist within you! We help turn up the party for adults and children with our themed Birthday Parties and Painting on Canvas nights. If you are looking for an engaging instructional studio, music classes, dance classes, or Saturday program we've got it all right here. You'll be amazed at all of the artistic expression, fun activities and programming we have under one roof!


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Here's How, Where and When You can Invest Your Money
Investing money might have long been on your cards, but doing it actually is the real deal that scares most of you lured by the idea. Maybe all the financial literates have tons and tons of stories to narrate to motivate you for the same. And it is true that they succeed in exciting every bit of you and making you think hard about the ways in which you can do that. But perhaps, they fail to translate the workable ways in which you should implement the idea of what to do with your money to make it grow. If you too feel that you are left in a barren land with an idea of surviving or more particularly, with an idea of investing your money but with a little knowledge of how, when and where to invest it, this guide is meant only for you. Read on to find it all out.
How to invest?
Well, there are certain things that you should know before you invest your money. There is a difference between investing and gambling. Where investing happens after thorough analysis and research, gambling is something that depends entirely on luck or chance. So, before putting your money in any deal, make sure you have done your homework and got the insights by delving deeper into it. It means that you are not only known to the prospects of succeeding in that deal, but are also aware of the risks involved and the consequences if it fails. And if you really want to ensure that your investment goes easy on you, you should proceed with the goal of success but with the preparation of failure. Involve financial advisors and other specialists if you can put a lot at stake. Don't be a risk averse if making profits is on your mind, but take risks that are calculated.
Where and when to invest?
While there are many ways in which you can invest your money smartly, recognizing those lucrative opportunities is the toughest part. When the market goes volatile, most of the investors who want to play it all safe tend to quit or prefer to stay at bay. While this is really fine as long as you want to make decent money out of your investments, those who want to make crazy profits should go for taking a ride on the wave but with sheer prudence of course. When it comes to choosing the ways of investing, first thing you can do is buy a land or property from the right place and at the most opportune time with making the best use of skills for negotiating. Now what you can do is seek help of dependable brokers. They are industry insiders and so can lend valuable advice and suggestions to you. After buying a land, you can get it built from experienced builders in Auckland and rent it out for some period. When you feel that the time is ripe enough to sell it off and make the best money out of the deal, go for it.
Apart from property, you can invest in mutual funds or exchange-trade funds or buy shares with the aid of seasoned brokers. This investment would be the most interesting of all. It will keep you on your toes all the while when your money is in the market. Other than this, you can also work towards earning interest on your money by lending it. The best way to make out where you should invest your money is by studying the market. And don't rely on the current time – if it is risky, it is going to be fine later and if it is fine today, it is going to be risky tomorrow. You have to gauge the pattern and use vision, statistics and logics to look beyond the current market condition.
Investing money smartly is all about timing and research. And don't be daunted by the idea of taking risks; always remember: it was those calculated risks taken by some investors that enabled them to establish an empire today. Besides, you would do yourself a favour to take the assistance of smart brains instead of going with your own instincts with little knowledge of the subject.
Author Bio: Sarah Williams runs a construction business from quite a time now. Her presence in construction industry has made her derive knowledge about real estate business. Apart from this, her understanding of prudent investments is quite substantial too. She chooses to share all of her knowledge through these write-ups.


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We offer discount based on your order amount:
Order Amount
Swarovski Crystal Elements 5810 Round Pearl 8mm. Each packs contain 12 pieces of 8mm pearl.
Swarovski crystals components are made in Austria, the finest quality in the world. They contain more lead, machine cut and are more sparkly than Czech fire polished crystals.


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Mid-Michigan's Bigger Dealer With Better Deals
Protein makes up about 15% of the process. The majority of muscle mass is incorporating protein and muscles flex not only our arms and legs, but our hearts and intestines way too. Most of the energy the body uses comes from muscle activity, so the more muscle you have the more calories you burn.
A wonderful way enhance your as well as break right through to the next level of fat reduction is with many aerobic exercise into your program, regarding 30 minutes of walking three to four times a little while. (If you are 35 years or older, or haven't exercised regularly, having 10 to 15 minutes two to three times 1 week.) In addition, weight training with free weights or machines several times a week can help Narvi Testo, for around allows that burn more calories at a higher speed. Studies show that weight training can increase your metabolism overnight by five to ten percent. Working out can increase your metabolism for 21 hours after an intense workout.
When you are thinking about aerobic exercise, you am aware that you are exercising in the right level if you are able to carry on the conversation while doing the application. If you are too breathless to talk, then an individual exercising too hard. On the other hand, if hand calculators sing during aerobic exercise, the intensity is simple enough.
What a person are knew the secrets to exercising the proper way to maximize your workouts? A secret solution that includes cardiovascular training, strength training, and Narvi Testo Reviews SIMULTANEOUSLY?
Soy - To lessen risk of heart disease and lower cholesterol, eat 25 grams of soy protein a full day. Foods such as tofu and tempeh best source of soy peptids. Tempeh is a fermented soy cake protein food with a texture much like meat.
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Define the habits well-developed body is stronger to change - You tend to overeat possess are stressed, upset, anxious, sad, tired, pressed or depressed; quite step is to become aware of your routines so you may learn to modify them. Before eating something, ask yourself if you're really hungry. If you are not, make an endeavor to notice what's making you eat. Show up with something to distract yourself. This may to safeguard practice however in a few weeks you'd have modified a behavior which benefits final a long time to come.
Busting these strength training myths can be a step the actual right direction on your trip to a healthier individuals. Be consistent and patient. Keep in mind that it takes time to change something as complicated while human looks. Keep up the great work and you will be seeing results soon.
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Tag Archives: baby modelling
No Sale. My Flirt With Baby Modelling
I have two beautiful daughters. My youngest is just over six months old. Everyone who sees her asks if we've considered getting her into baby modelling. So after hearing the suggestion countless times, we decided to give it a try. … Continue reading
Posted in General, Musings, Personal Tagged baby modelling, daughter, father, model agency, modelling, musings, parenting, superficial, writing 3 Comments


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The look in picture one caught my eye. I like that smooth and easy silhouette....it's effortless. I've added an assortment of looks, as well as store offerings for those of us shopping for boots.
|Add caption
|Caroline Issa
|A model wearing Tom Ford
|Chiara Ferragni
|Olivia Palermo
|Saint Laurent
|TopShop Unique, $390
|Michael Kors "Jessa", $850
|Stuart Weitzman OTK boot, $645
|Alexander Wang "Lovanni", $1,350
|Sma Edelman "Pierce" OTK boot, $199
|Vince Camuto "Faristall" tall boot,
|Michael Kors "Cidney" tall boot, $375
|Jessica Simpson "Cardona"
|Calvin Klein "Gladys", $199
|Calvin Klein "Bisma" OTK
boot, $189
|Michael Kors OTK boot, $825 (dillards.com)
|Leather and Patenet cap toe tall boots, $189 (zara.com)
|BCBGeneration "Eileen" tall boots, $124.99
|Donald J. Pliner, "Devi3", $398
|Ivanka Trump "Izze" tall dress boots, $225
|Adrienne Vittadini "Tiger" OTK boots, $229
|Nina Originals "Alure" OTK boots, $298 (macys.com)
Street style images: harpersbazaar.com & essence.com


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Atto VERTICALE is an eccentric concept by Masera Design born from a unique idea, a wrist watch with a mechanical hand wound movement assembled on an anodized aluminum case. The classic movement matches perfectly with a fresh and colorful watch case and strap. In between two sapphire crystals the movement floats giving the watch a powerful and distinctive personality.
Colored, refined and stylish, the unconventional design with interchangeable straps, shows itself as a dynamic act in vertical movement.
I wind it my self
Free thought about the hand wound
One may imagine the hand-wound watch as a obsolete object, but it is not. Of course, this is not an antique model but a forefront clock. Atto VERTICALE is the proof: a colored and innovative hand-wound watch which faces the current trend.
In the hyper-connection era, those who are refusing to follow the technological trend, people who are self-willed and think independently: non-conformist those are the people that could be wearing a hand-wound watch.
Beginning the day by winding your watch is a ritual of few seconds that provides the watch with a necessary supply of time, it could be said that you are creating the time. Military submarines choose hand wound watch for the most trustworthy time. In fact , it is customary for the eldest naval officer to be given the task of winding them up at the same time every day.


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Thursday, December 08, 2011
What's an Object, Metaphysically Speaking?
When I first got interested in object-oriented ontology (OOO) I wondered just what qualified as an object, metaphysically speaking. I suppose the question was particularly acute because, at that time, I was reading Tim Morton's early thinking on hyperobjects, which presupposed ordinary metaphysical objects and seemed to extend it in some (possibly strange) way to some special class of objects, objects, Tim, said, that were massively distributed in space and time. Such as global climate change. What's to be gained, I wondered, by saying that climate change is an object, as opposed, say, to a process?
And that question—what IS an object?—was still very much on my mind at the OOO meetings in New York City in mid-September. A brief exchange between Graham Harman and Levi Bryant clarified that at bit. I forget just what they were talking about, but they decided tnat, no, it wasn't an object, it was a set, an arbitrary collection of objects. So, (metaphysical) objects are one thing, sets another. We're getting somewhere.
Then I discovered, perhaps in reading The Quadruple Object (which I'm still studying, it's a dense little book) that imaginary objects are as much under consideration as, well, real objects. Except, you see, that imaginary objects are real objects, don't you see? but not real in the way that real objects are. Now, of course, that's not what Harman says, nor is it quite what I was thinking or am now thinking, but it's a useful index of potential confusion.
What I was looking for was some special definition of what constitutes and object. And there isn't one. Objects are in opposition to relations, and there's this story about a hammer, or an orange or a tree, whatever, that's always withdrawing itself from us and from other objects: ". . . an object is anything that has a unified reality that is autonomous from its wider context and also from its own pieces" (Quadruple, p. 116).
OK. So, is a shadow an object? Here's a photograph of a shadow:
It's perhaps unnecessarily complex for this purpose, but it will have to do.
The shadow is of a rail fence as it is cast on a field of grasses and wildflowers. The bottom rail is clearly visible about a third of the way up from the bottom. The top rail is above the middle but it tends to get lost in the darker green of the remaining leafage on the tops of the plants.
As far as I can tell, this shadow, and any other shadow, fails the autonomy requirement. Shadows exist ONLY in context. If you eliminate either the light source (or sources), the occluding object (or objects), or the receptive surface (or surfaces), and there is no shadow. Thus shadows aren't objects. But they can nonetheless give rise to sensual objects, an example of which is captured in that photo, and I've got other photos of that shadow, other sensual objects. That shadow is as perceptible as any of the many plants on which it is projected.
So, a shadow is something that isn't itself an object, a real object, but gives rise to sensual objects. Imaginary objects give rise to sensual objects too. But what sort of thing is a shadow that it has effects in the world like those of, well, real objects and imaginary objects?
I don't know what kind of question this is in the context of object-oriented ontology. I don't know how to resolve it or to weigh it. But it's not shadows that I'm concerned about. It's those imaginary objects, some of which are more or less like real objects, except that they're imaginary, some of which are completely fantastic and only like real objects in this or that property or component, and some of which may even have been thought to be real but have now turned out to be only imaginary (dragons? phlogiston?). As far as I can tell, the imaginary objects of which we know require the support of human culture (though I wouldn't be surprised if at least some animals experience imaginary objects) and human culture, conceptually, is a mess.
What worries me is that human culture may well rest on vast assemblages of things that exist and dissolve like shadows. To the extent that that is so—and I've certainly not demonstrated it—I'm not sure what object-oriented ontology is going to have to say about it. The physical set-up that gives us the shadow of a rail fence on a field is much like the physical set-up that gives us the image of Wily Coyote going over a cliff and hanging suspended in the air for a moment until he looks down and then, zip! he falls. Instead of the field we have a motion picture screen; instead of the sun we have the projector bulb; and instead of the occluding fence we have the film strip rushing through the gate. Eliminate any one of those and zip! no more Wily Coyote over the cliff.
There are other ways to cut that, but I'm not sure where any of them lead. What I'm wondering is whether or not, in claiming to talk about things like Wily Coyote as easily as it talks about hammers and tsunamis, whether object-oriented ontology isn't claiming the prize before having run the race. The funny thing is, perhaps OOO in fact deserves that prize. But I'd like to see how it runs the race.
I am hoping that you have had time to finish the The Quadruple Object and are now in a position to clarify this matter for us, your reading audience (a set of reading objects?). I think these questions have practical value in understanding aspects of human culture and social organization at various scales. At a very low level (perhaps not the lowest) humans are a collection of cooperation cells. We recognize the aggregate as perhaps the quintessential thing--a person. These "things" aggregate to make families, communities, political parties (tribes), and (if they are lucky) unified nations. Perhaps there is an upper bound represented by some global entity (but why stop there?).
In any event, I really like your brief exploration of the ontology of a "shadow"--I will be using that example (with vague attribution "something I saw on the Internet") in my future discussions :) . I would love to see anything else that you have written on this subject.
Perhaps you or someone else reading this could direct to the philosophical literature on this topic. I am interested in complex adaptive systems and understanding the evolution of cooperation. I am looking for formal and maybe, falsifiable examples of what constitutes an entity.
John Balwit balwit-at-gmale.com
Well, I HAVE written quite a bit about OOO, and while all of that is somewhere on The Valve, the easiest way to get it is to go to this link at my other blog, New Savanna. That'll take you to all I've written on OOO so far.
As for whether or not a shadow counts as a object, I sent that post by some OOOers, including, as I recall, Harman, and have gotten no response. I've mostly finished The Quadruple Object and, on the basis of that reading I'd have to say that, no, a shadow is not a real object because it's not autonomous. But if that's so, then it's not clear what it might be.
My impression is that OOO is still very much in process and these things are still being worked out. Tim Morton has a useful tutorial on OOO at his blog.


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For as long as I can remember I have been captivated by India, a country I romantically envisioned as a spiritual place of vivid colors, capricious deities, squint-eyed snake charmers, multi-hued temples, and fiery food. Growing up I devoured novels about the tumultuous history of Hindustan, a land ruled by sultans and emperors whose names included "the Great," a vast almost-continent where hennaed women in saris danced sensuously, noble-looking men wore jeweled turbans and rode elephants, and hump-backed cattle roamed freely along dusty, narrow streets.
Bouchercon 2014 & Some Big News
I am writing this at 39,000 feet above Colorado on my way home from Bouchercon, the annual world mystery conference that just wrapped up in Long Beach, California, because there is lots of news I can finally share after keeping mum for the last six weeks. My trip to southern California—longer than usual, ten days—was bookended with stops in the Bay Area to visit family in Santa Cruz and Cupertino and included a spectacular drive along the Pacific Coast Highway nearly as far south as Big Sur—the photo above was taken at Hurricane Point south of Carmel.
Pacific Coast Highway
Goodreads Giveaway!
I love this photo of the Mayacamas Mountains, acres of vineyards, and the wind turbines that are so common in the Napa Valley as we drove up Highway 29 two years ago so I could do research (yes, it was research!) for THE SAUVIGNON SECRET. My publisher Pocket/Gallery Books is giving away free copies of the new paperback until September 25. Enter here for a chance to win . . . and if you're not on Goodreads, I urge you to join. Recently they passed the 10 million-member mark. It's a great forum for talking about books.
The Sauvignon Secret Photo Gallery
Last year I was so busy I didn't get a chance to put together a photo gallery—as I usually do—when THE SAUVIGNON SECRET was released in August, 2011. However, thanks to Beth Tindall, my webmaster at Cincinnati Media, I've finally got a gorgeous group of pictures to show off, just in time for the release of the paperback. You can find the collection here on my website . . . and it goes without saying that I hope you'll read the book as well! Don't forget to check out the Photos page on my website for galleries for the other wine country mysteries.
The Sauvignon Secret
The Sauvignon Secret is officially out today in paperback from Pocket Books. I love the cover designed by the talented Wendell Minor, who has done all my paperback jackets. If you haven't read the book, I hope you'll buy it from your local independent bookstore . . . they need our support!
Summer travels
Heading home from a brief trip to the San Francisco Bay Area for a family reunion and my parents' 60th wedding anniversary. We usually take Virgin America as there's a direct flight from Dulles-SFO. On the way home, I saw this sign as we entered the very cool new Virgin terminal in San Francisco . . . too bad I didn't bring my yoga mat.
The Things I Do For Research
When The Sauvignon Secret came out last August, my book tour included doing events on the day of an earthquake, in the midst of a hurricane, during a week of monsoon-like rain, and while undergoing extensive and unexpected construction work to the entire second floor of my home. As a result, a few things fell through the cracks, including the photo gallery I always put together for each book in the wine country mystery series. I plan to remedy that by the time the paperback comes out in late July, so stay tuned. (Hopefully my Webmaster Beth Tindall isn't reading this because, actually, she's the one who puts the good-looking galleries together . . . and I suspect she believes she got a pass last year).
The Sauvignon Secret
It's always such fun the first time I get to show off the jackets for my upcoming books. I really love the paperback cover for THE SAUVIGNON SECRET, with that spectacular view of the Golden Gate Bridge and the Marin Headlands. SAUVIGNON will be out in late July, published by Pocket Books. Once again, the talented Wendell Minor designed the cover; in fact, he has been the artist for every one of the paperback editions of my Virginia wine country mysteries. If you want to see some of Wendell's artwork, check him out here or on Facebook.
The Sauvignon Secret Book Tour
Looking forward to THE SAUVIGNON SECRET book tour, which begins August 16. I'll be appearing in Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, California, Arizona, and Missouri, so please check the website for specific events. Hope to see many of you while I'm on the road, but if you can't make it to an event please feel free to contact one of the bookstores where I'll be signing to preorder the book. They'll be happy to arrange for me to personalize it to you when I'm in the store and ship it to you later.


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Mission Statement
Allen Ellender School community is strategically committed to provide students with opportunities to develop problem-solving, communication, and technological skills to function effectively and intelligently in a competitive global society. All students will demonstrate proficiency or above according to State and District standards.
Vision Statement
We envision Allen Ellender to be a high performing school by nurturing students in a vibrant learning environment that will foster academic achievement.
Our Beliefs
- Teachers utilize innovative ways to engage students in achieving their goals.
- School personnel are accountable for implementing a curriculum that results in exceptional student performance.
- Students are motivated, inquisitive, challenged, and actively involved in learning.
- Students learn and gain respect in a positive school environment.
- Our various school communities respect educators and students and celebrate their achievements.


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Going live!
You will find us at these trade fairs
What important dates are coming up? Which trade fairs will we be attending? You have an up-to-date overview of everything here. After all, we hope to see you there!
General Meeting, Gosheim
03.07.2019 – 03.07.2019
General Meeting Maschinenfabrik Berthold Hermle AG - Gosheim


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brand new take on 737NG pilot training has just landed!
If you answered 'yes' to any of the above, then FS2Crew's new "Audio
Ground School" for the 737NG series was designed with you in mind.
Four ways our program is different from traditional CBT training:
About the Presenter:
Damien Weekes is currently a Captain on the 737NG. He has 2500 hours on type,
and has flown the 700, 800 and BBJ models.


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Beautiful accommodation, modern cuisine, local wines & Tamar River views
Beautiful accommodation, modern cuisine, local wines & Tamar River views
Situated on the picturesque Tamar River in Tasmania's Tamar Valley, Rosevears Hotel is the perfect destination to stay or simply enjoy a relaxing meal.
Sit in the newly renovated Beer Garden and Deck overlooking the Tamar or on Winter days you can enjoy a lazy afternoon in front of the open log fire.
Our restaurant, bar and function rooms provide a unique meeting place for family, friends and business associates alike. We offer a range of packages for intimate gatherings or larger groups, from weddings to conferences and everything between.
We guarantee you will find it hard to leave!
Stunning views of one of the most scenic spots along the Tamar River. Rosevears Hotel is the best place to base yourself to explore the Tamar River Region & Tamar Valley Wine Trail.
Rosevears Hotel has 26 contemporary hotel rooms consisting of 1 bedroom, 2 bedroom and Spa room complete with outdoor Jacuzzi. Each room has a luxury king size bed and spectacular full length views of the picturesque Tamar River. King beds can be configured as twin king singles upon request.
A unique waterfront dining experience. Indulge your taste buds in our modern menu that showcases the finest and freshest produce that Tasmania has to offer.
This delightful historic tavern provides old world charm with modern comfort and fine fresh food. The stunning back drop of the Tamar River is the perfect location for lunch or dinner.
We have a number of different areas for you to choose from when dining at Rosevears. Whether it be inside in the Restaurant, in the new Waterfront Dining Room or outside on the deck you will receive the same level of service.
For the perfect day out, tour the Tamar Valley Wine Route with us. The Tamar Valley is renowned for it's award winning cold-climate white wines and Pinot Noir.
We have our own tours so we can be flexible to design the perfect tour for your visit or you can choose from our selection created to feature the best of the Tamar Valley.
With just a few hours to spare you can experience our Rosevears Lap or the Rowella Pocket Run. Or if you want to make a day of it then the Pipers River Run or Tamar Valley Premium Selection will suit you. Read more on our Wine Tours or Transport page.
Arrive by boat, helicopter, motorbike, walk or drive.
Arrive by boat, helicopter, motorbike, walk or drive.
Rosevears is only a 15 to 20 minutes drive from Launceston along the beautiful Tamar Valley.
We are half an hour drive from the Launceston airport or an hour if you are arriving by Spirit of Tasmania ferry from Melbourne.
Boat – Enjoy the Tamar Valley from the Tamar River. Rosevears has a pontoon for you to use directly in front of the Hotel.
Bus – Rosevears Hotel has a range of buses seating from 10 to 35 people which is a great option to facilitate private bookings & functions.
Drive - a quiet 20 minute drive from Launceston, snaking right along the edge of the Tamar River.
Limousine - Whether it's a birthday, engagement or just a family outing, arrive in style in the Rosevears Limousine. Seats up 10 guests. Our limousine is also available for private hire to add some flair to your special occasion.


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Here are some of my recent creations using Laurie's techniques. This one is my first larger box. Its a blank canvas box about 7" square. I'm on the search for more of these boxes but no luck so far.
This one is a I put together on the fly. No particular theme or palette in mind. Sometimes that's the best way to go.
This box was a commissioned piece for a male friend, hence the more masculine colors. He wanted a box for papers to keep on his counter. I really, really love the way this one came out. (I wonder if he'll ever see it???)
My next box will be a wine theme for a friend/customer. (I wonder if he'll ever see that one? Sorry Jim!) lol
More to come so stay tuned!
Happy Arting,


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Financial Aid
Georgia State Law is committed to helping you overcome financial obstacles to obtaining your legal education. Major sources of financial aid include scholarships, tuition waivers, federal Stafford Loans and Grad Plus Loans, as well as private educational loans. Scholarships and tuition waivers are administered within Georgia State Law.
Applying for Federal Aid
A Free Application for Federal Student Aid – or FAFSA – is required for any federal aid. The application is available online beginning in January. To ensure the university receives your results, input the Georgia State University school code, 001574, on your application when prompted.
We must receive the results of your aid application by April 1; we encourage you to complete the online FAFSA by Feb. 15.
If you have never filed a FAFSA, apply for a personal identification number first. Your PIN will speed up the application authorization process. Your FAFSA must be renewed each year using your PIN. You can retrieve it at pin.ed.gov.
Acceptance to the Georgia State Law program is not a prerequisite for filling out the FAFSA. Complete your FAFSA online.
To be eligible for federal aid, you must be:
- a U.S. citizen or permanent resident;
- registered with Selective Service, if required;
- enrolled at least half time (six credits) in a degree-granting program;
- not in default on any previous borrowed student loans.
Types of Aid
- Graduate students only are eligible for a $20,500 unsubsidized Stafford Loan.
- Federal direct unsubsidized student loans aren't based on financial need and will accrue interest while you're in school. Students may borrow up to $20,500 each academic year, with a cumulative maximum of $138,500.
- Ford Federal Direct Grad PLUS Loans are credit-based with an interest rate of 6.4 percent and managed by the U.S. Department of Education. Grad PLUS loans provide graduate and professional students with additional funds for educational expenses not met by other types of aid. Your FAFSA must be on file to be eligible for this type of loan. Apply in PAWS, Georgia State's web portal (links follow below).
- Private loans are credit-based and also known as alternative or commercial loans. These loans bridge the gap between the amount the government allows you to borrow and your educational costs. Many lending institutions offer private loans; terms and conditions can vary significantly. The loan amount approved cannot exceed the total cost of education, minus student contribution and financial aid.
- Georgia State University scholarships and tuition waivers are administered within Georgia State Law.
- Outside scholarships are available from a number of sources. Check FastWeb.com for external scholarship information.
Note: Guest and visiting students should contact their home institutions about financial aid.
What Happens Next
Once the school receives your processed FAFSA, award processing begins, so check your Georgia State email for important messages. Unresolved requirements will appear in your PAWS account. Check it often.
- Submit all required documents (for example, student-signed federal tax returns, Selective Service papers) to the university Financial Aid office no later than 10 business days from the initial date of request.
- Log into PAWS to accept or decline awarded aid that appears with an "offered" status.
- Log into PAWS/GoSolar. Click Financial Aid, then "Award Information Menu." Select "Award by Aid Year" to view this year's awards.
- Complete the required loan entrance counseling for your first loan with Georgia State.
- Complete the loan promissory note for your first accepted loan.
- Determine whether your awarded aid covers your charges. You're responsible for paying the balance by the dates the university establishes.
- Familiarize yourself with Georgia State payment deadlines.
- Visit the university's Financial Aid website for FAQs and additional information.


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In stock.
We are excited to introduce the new CX series of battery chargers from Cotek. The advanced and programmable 3 stage chargers are ideal for charging and maintaining all types of batteries including Lithium-Ion.
Compact and powerful they offer silent operation and multiple isolated outputs making them ideal for marine, commercial and blue light vehicle installations
Input : 90-264V AC
Max Output : 29.4V @ 40A max
Dimensions: 312mm x 213mm x 77mm
Weight: 2.9 Kg
Comes with 2 Year Warranty
We offer **FREE NEXT WORKING DAY DELIVERY** to anywhere in the UK mainland on all orders over £100.


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Lollapalooza 2013 Stage and Street Style: Standing Out in a Crowded Field
Gearing up to see the likes of New Order, Crystal Castles, and Major Lazer and join the record horde of 300,000 that filled Grant Park this weekend for Lollapalooza is tantamount to suiting up for battle. In fact, this summer the music festival uniform has become downright military, from the utilitarian button-down casually tossed over one's equally pared-down de rigeur tank and denim cutoffs or the occasional minidress, down to the ankle boots (the better to dance in the mudslide resulting from a surprise downpour). The key tactical strategy? Whether you're taking the stage or simply gunning to stand out in the crowd, add an element of shock and awe to combat the otherwise standard-issue look—a Jeremy Scott hologram kimono and Deco frame sunglasses if you're IO Echo's Ioanna Giko; a fleet of gold rings and a chainlink bracelet to echo the metallic gleam of your multi-zippered jacket if you're Theophilus London; a dazzling white Burberry suit if you're Wild Belle's Natalie Bergman. Other necessary supplies for the performing set? Tegan & Sara stick to the basics (leather and denim jackets, Red Bull for fuel, Jason's Sun Block for protection), while Lizzy Plapinger of MS MR takes a cargo approach (a leather jacket with multiple pocket room for camera and chapstick); and Ellie Goulding and Lianne La Havas build on a solid foundation of Doc Martens, with La Havas topping hers off with a vintage headscarf and statement Topshop necklace. As for the rest in the field? Eye-catching oversize shades or hair dyed in a pop palette (highlighter yellow, pink, or lavender) were among the weapons of choice to forge a truly head-turning look.


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April 10, 2017 / Astoria Chloe / Inspiration
Apartments are a place to live where functionality is much more important than design, yet it would still be okay to apply some interior design ideas for apartments to liven it up. There are so many possibilities that can be taken from the interior ideas suitable for small space apartments. One of the best ways in making the apartments much more attractive is by creating a particular display spot. You can us a set of floating shelves on one point of your apartment. Place a couple of decorative things such as mini statues, photos, clocks, potted plants, etc right there.
Some apartments might forbid you to apply a new paint job on your own. One tip of the ideas for apartment's interior design in dealing with such policy is by painting your furniture. Change the color of your furniture to the one that suits the color of the room. Once it is done then there would be no more color problem for your apartment. Moreover, the flooring of the apartment is also one thing that you cannot change. You can always buy a new floor covering such as rug to cover the real floor of the apartment as one of the interior design ideas for apartments.
In a small apartment, there would be less storage available for your stuff. Use open shelves made of metal as addition to your storage need. It would provide you with more storage spaces as well as decorative value from the stuff that you placed there. One best apartment's interior design idea is the use of mirrors. Just to deal with small space, the use of mirrors is very famous. You can create a wider feeling of the room when using mirror. It can also add more lights to the room as well. Those are some useful tips in the application of interior design ideas for apartments.
Recent Post


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Another taste of congee
Are you tired of congee yet? Good, because you probably haven't tried the congee at Huo Zhou Wang, a new Hong Kong-style porridge specialist in the food court attached to the San Gabriel Hilton. Congee is a homey dish, something you can make with tap water and the dregs of last night's rice pot, but Huo Zhou Wang is kind of a swank place, with elaborate menus, lots of marble and rustic clay bowls.
What's more important are the tanks of live seafood in the rear — crabs, lobster, prawns and abalone for those times when you want to experience the kind of porridge a billionaire might fancy. The house special congee, spiked with dried scallops, large prawns and a handful of Manila clams, is just splendid enough, with a toasty flavor, tons of umami and the kind of slight chewiness you might expect from a well-executed seafood risotto in Venice. With the addition of an abalone — $19.95 at the moment — there is an extra jolt of salinity, of hidden depths. To season the congee, you use neither salt nor pepper but a sharp condiment made from fermented yellow beans. In last week's Food section, I wrote about seven of my favorite bowls of congee. Huo Zhou Wang's seafood congee might be better than them all.
— Jonathan Gold
Tofu tacos — yep, we're serious
If you've driven along La Brea Avenue near Olympic Boulevard in the last couple of weeks you may have noticed a big sign for Trejo's Tacos featuring the face of actor Danny Trejo, that cool guy from the "Machete" movies and "From Dusk Till Dawn." This is Trejo's new taco restaurant — a project from the actor, film producer Ash Shah and Jeff Georgino. Daniel Mattern (formerly of Cooks County) designed the menu. It's scheduled to soft open early next week, then officially open with expanded hours and an expanded menu the week after. One of the most exciting bites? The tofu tacos. Yes, the machete-wielding guy from all those action movies is serving tofu tacos. And they are inspired by none other than Yotam Ottolenghi's black pepper tofu. The fried squares of bean curd are buttery and rich, smothered in a tangy black pepper sauce, served on a fresh corn tortilla with pickled onions.
— Jenn Harris
Bread, one of life's small pleasures
The bread scene in Los Angeles has been taking off in odd ways — instead of giant, shiny new bakeries with rows of deck ovens, bakers in this town have been taking the DIY approach. Witness two of the newest bakeries, Lodge Bread in Culver City and Seed Bakery in Pasadena. These are tiny operations. At Lodge Bread, the 940-square-foot shop is built around a giant Bassanina steam-injection deck oven that takes up most of the space. Bakers and co-owners Or Amsalam and Alexander Phaneuf are making amazing loaves of high-hydration, darkly baked bread, dark brown discs that they stack on the shelves near the oven like history books. At Seed Bakery, Joseph Abrakjian uses natural levain and whole-grain flours, baking spelt boules and loaves of 100% rye adjacent to the few crowded counters. The breads — farro, einkorn, kamut — chalked on the board make the place sound more like a heritage seed bank than a boulangerie. The bread is spectacular, the crumb a network of flavors, the crust a real crust. Which, by the way, makes for excellent toast — which both bakeries have on their menus. We may live in the Era of Toast, but it means nothing without spectacular bread.
— Amy Scattergood
Market Report
It's a paradise for lovers of winter greens right now, especially with the cooler temperatures and all this rain. Look for colorful shades of chards, durable kales and delicate lettuces, as well as nettles and mustard greens. It's also high time for other brassicas — cabbage, broccoli, Brussels sprouts — as well as sweet mandarins and other citrus. And don't forget beets and root vegetables, such as turnips and rutabagas.
What's just left: Winter squash is making its way out.
What's on the horizon: Snow peas.
What to cook: Now is the perfect time to make the simple Portuguese soup caldo verde. Combine onion and sausage (preferably Spanish chorizo) in a pot with a little oil, cooking until the sausage is browned and the onion softens, then stir in chicken broth, kale and potatoes. Simmer the stew until the potatoes are soft and the kale is tender. Break up some of the potatoes to thicken the soup if you'd like, and serve with a drizzle of olive oil.
— Noelle Carter
Ham it up at the bar
There's an Old-Fashioned cocktail, and then there's the In Fashioned, a drink on the menu at the Old Man Bar at Hatchet Hall in Culver City. The restaurant is known for its country ham plate, and the drink program makes full use of the menu's star ingredient. In the In Fashioned, a country ham-infused bourbon is mixed with a couple dashes of Redeye bitters and pecan bitters. The drink is garnished with a maraschino cherry that's been wrapped in a lemon peel, and a wafer-thin slice of country ham. The drink is much sweeter than an Old-Fashioned, balanced by a serious ninja kick from the meaty bourbon. Just consider this drink your first dinner course while you nibble bits of the luscious, salty ham with each sip. If a wine spritzer is more your speed (no one is judging), order the Grüner Coke. It's a mix of Grüner Veltliner, Riesling and grapefruit liqueur.
— Jenn Harris
Cookbook of the week
"The Apprentice: My Life in the Kitchen," by Jacques Pépin (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, $17.95). In honor of the French chef's 80th birthday, his memoir has just been republished, with a new foreword by Anthony Bourdain. It's a fantastic way to celebrate Pépin's career, which has continued unabated through years spent cooking for Charles de Gaulle, teaching us all how to cook with Julia Child on PBS, and writing cookbook after acclaimed cookbook. Pépin's beautifully written memoir takes us back to his childhood, when he began work as a 13-year-old apprentice at Le Grand Hotel de l'Europe in his hometown of Bourg-en-Bresse near Lyon. Pépin moved to Paris as a teenager, and before he came to the United States in 1959, he'd cooked at Maxim's in Paris, served in the French navy and been personal chef to three French heads of state. Pépin is as warm and engaging on paper as he is on screen, and his book provides not only stories but recipes and personal photographs that trace his many decades of cooking. It's a great read, as Pépin is endearing, candid and often remarkably funny. And if you get hungry while you turn the pages, you can always put the book down and make Pépin's recipe for cheese soufflé.
— Amy Scattergood


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My baby doesn't sleep through the night and I know I am not alone there!
When I tell people I am tired and that she doesn't "sleep through the night", they either tell me how to "fix" my baby (who by the way, isn't broken, she's normal) or they tell me to sleep when she sleeps. Now I know everyone means well and actually, sleep when baby sleeps is much better advice than routines, sleep training or early weaning (but I am not getting into that now). However, there are a few problems with trying to sleep whenever my baby sleeps:
I have had four babies and they have all slept differently during the day and evening. My first daughter slept mostly in the day but only on my chest. My son had nice regular naps you could count on (well done Ted) and my other two daughters are massive sleep fighters. OMG. Even from birth, they just hated sleeping during the day (not that they are much better at night either).
That isn't to say they were happy being awake all day. Oh no. They are/were grumpy and tired and desperately needing to sleep but would not - unless... in my second daughter's case she was in the car or, in the case of my fourth baby, she was snuggled against my chest, beautifully and lovingly wrapped in a sling.
I am so grateful for slings because I seriously couldn't have done it without them. She loves being wrapped and feels calm and contented there. This is where, for at least the first 6 months, she always wanted to sleep during the day.
Now we can all agree that it isn't safe to sleep either while driving, or while carrying a baby in a sling, and so sleeping whilst my baby sleeps at those times, is impossible.
Infant Sleep Information Source: SIDS and Safety
Sheffield Sling Surgery: How to use a sling safely
2. I have other shit I have to do
I know, I know. I need to let my standards of hygiene, house pride and parenting slide. Well I hate to admit it but with 3 other kids, they aren't that high anyway, and there comes a point where the house work actually does have to be done, and my other children actually need me. When my children don't have pants and school clothes to wear because I haven't done the washing, when I am eating cereal out of tupperware with breastmilk (I haven't actually done this but it's come close) because I have neither washed the dishes nor bought groceries, or when I haven't washed myself or my other children properly for nearly a week, this becomes unworkable. Now those (and a few others) are just the basic things that I have to manage so as to survive and keep my family healthy. I have a legal, moral and humanitarian responsibility to do those things.
3. I feel like crap after I have slept on someone else's schedule
I am sure it isn't just me, but having 30-90 minutes sleep when another person deems they are tired during the middle of the day doesn't work well for me. It's ridiculous really because I love sleep and am precisely the kind of person who likes naps during the day, but I have this strange thing where I want to sleep when I am the one who is tired and sleepy. Yes, I am tired all the time, but I am certainly not always ready to just sleep, especially now we are out of those early days. It takes me a while to calm my mind and body enough to sleep once she is down, and so once I have nodded off, there just isn't always enough time to get through a whole sleep cycle, meaning I am woken halfway through one.
So on the days where it is just too much and I either choose to snooze next to my beautiful daughter, or I'm simply so tired I just fall asleep with her, I feel awful after. It only makes me feel groggy and desperate for more.
4. I want to spend time with my partner
In the first few months, your baby will likely stay with you until you go to bed but later on you may get the great joy of putting your baby to bed anytime between 6 and 9pm, depending on your lifestyle and your baby's individual personality, and you get time. Time to shower, time to read blogs, write blogs, chat to people online, exercise, breathe or probably most importantly - spend time with your partner.
Relationships can get pretty tough in the first year and having even small amounts of time alone with your partner can be the difference between a family unit staying together and not. It doesn't even have to be that special; me and my hubby collapse on the sofa and watch something together. The together is the important bit and you can't do any of that if you (in trying to get as much sleep as possible) go to bed with your baby.
5. I don't want to!
What about the millions of other things I want to do.
I used to have a life. I think.
For the first few months, I put all on hold to sleep when I could, and rest, and just be with my baby. That's why I wanted a baby. So I could enjoy having a baby. I stopped yoga, meditation, Taekwondo, the work that I love (supporting parents), reading.... and that's fine. I wanted to put all on hold. I wanted to give my all to my baby. But, after a while, something has to give. I needed to meet my own needs in order to continue being able to meet my baby's needs (and the rest of my family too). If I don't move my body, steady my mind, blow off steam, stretch my intellectual muscles and support others - I feel like I'm drowning.
In the first year, the chances are that your only opportunity to do any of these things is when your baby is napping. If baby is up they need you and your focus, and while you might get small moments while they are awake, they are short and rare.
So yes I am very tired, and yes I need to find a way to get more sleep, but sleeping when my baby sleeps, isn't really a viable option long term.
Thanks for reading,
**IMPORTANT - I am not saying you shouldn't sleep when your baby sleeps. Do whatever works for you. I am simply responding to something that I have been advised for years (and have seen advised all over the Internet) and struggle with, in the belief that many others struggle in the same ways.
If you are struggling with your baby or toddler's sleep we offer workshops and private consultations which will provide you will evidence-based information to empower you to create your own solutions for your family. Our consultants have in depth child development knowledge and are trained to support you.


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One of my best Christmas presents this year was from none other than my beloved. He remembered that a long time ago (about a year) I had mentioned that I wanted a pedometer/heart rate monitor watch. Well, Christmas morning I had opened a very odd shaped package, and there it was!
This thing is AWESOME! I went to Disneyland on Monday and monitored my steps. Now keep in mind that in D-Land…there is a lot of standing in lines. But here is my number: 7066 steps. Not too bad. Yesterday I wore it to see how many steps I take on a average day…7123. Yeah! I am sure that my does not reflect a 'normal' day as I did go shopping yesterday with my brother and sister-in-law. Lots of walking at a mall and not much standing around. I measured my heart rate today while I did my morning spin bike…my high was 178 bpm. Not bad. At resting my heart rate is about 64 bpm.
This watch can measure mph, calories, an alarm, stop watch, heart rate, and steps. It keeps your goals saved and when I first used it, it asked me my date of birth and weight!
As I had said before…This thing is AWESOME!