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Ever read a post on EdenCafe or uploaded a video review? Carrie Ann had something to do with it. This amazing woman is ever-present in our community and is always approachable. When not inhaling coffee like nobody's business, she blogs on her own sex blog and hangs out with her partner of 9 years and her 17 year old son. What makes this woman tick? How does she have enough hours in the day?
Carrie Ann is one of the backbones to many EdenFantasys programs including the video review program, Eden Cafe, and many of the upcoming Eden Clubs blogs. Carrie Ann's hard work has made EdenCafe into a blog with over 1,200 daily visits and over 100 different contributing authors. Even though she's busy with her work at EdenFantasys, she still finds time to blog on her personal blog.
Carrie Ann started blogging as a way to get her thoughts out about her daily life and BDSM. She added sex toy reviews to her blog, and she hasn't looked back. Her blogging experiences have even led her to try out mud and quicksand fetish videos and amateur porn for awhile. Her blog is still active, and she posts on it regularly. She relishes having a place to be totally unfiltered.
She enjoys taking time to relax. Along with reviewing her favorite products (wood and silicone toys) and more, Carrie Ann is a coffee addict. She likes to camp, and she enjoys taking long motorcycle rides. Surprisingly, she considers herself more of a hermit, and prefers the company of her partner and close friends rather than large groups. Her life includes a relationship of nine years with her fiance, and raising her seventeen-year old son. She even met her partner online in a Yahoo Chat room 13 years ago; it's proof that online relationships can work out.
The EdenFantasys community has seen Carrie Ann online for quite some time, but now you can ask her your questions and get to know the woman behind the screen name!
What is the most frustrating aspect of working for Eden? The most rewarding?I think the very most frustrating thing is working from home. There are benefits, of course. Having my own coffee close by, wearing pajamas all day, not having to comb my hair until noon...
But it's also kind of like you are always at work. There is no differentiating between office and home cuz the office *is* home. I often go to check my personal email in the evening and end up working another two hours because I noticed ten more work emails.
Of course, that's a silly complaint, isn't it, compared to folks who have to commute an hour away and such every day?
The most rewarding, for me, is absolutely the community and having a chance, every day, to be a part of something that is ever growing. You guys are all awesome and it's because of you that my job continues to expand, expanding my horizons and experiences in ways I never imagined!
Kayla (host): "I know how you feel about working from home now. I'm addicted to it though; I ended up loving it. Besides, could you really live without coffee at work for eight hours every day? Really?"
What is your favorite wood and silicone toy? I have a feeling one of the wood ones is probably a Nob Essence toy.You are most correct! My favorite wood toy is, indeed, Nobessence. The Intrigue (P-spot and Handle) to be exact. I said in my review that it's the toy that stole my words and I wasn't kidding. It still leaves me quite speechless.
My favorite silicone toy is the Vixen Vixskin LoneStar. Rawr!
Hey Carrie Ann. I just have to ask, have you ever really beat anyone with a cherry scented double dong?I don't actually own a cherry scented dong so, no.
BUT. I will buy one and chase you naughty reviewers if you don't heed the rules!!! I swear it!
Kayla (host): "Nom Nom Phthalates!"
What is your favorite type of coffee? Any specific brand?I don't know that I can answer this!
I can definitely say that canned coffee is the devil and Folgers, Maxwell House and the like should be banned. How do they make it into those little flecks, anyhow? Ground coffee does NOT look like that.
I do like dark roasts and I drink it with half and half, never milk, and rarely use sugar.
If I absolutely had to pick a favorite right this minute it would be Green Mountain Sumatran Reserve.
Kayla (host): "Really? I always have the canned coffee. I've never thought anything of it. I think I remember seeing your Keurig at some point; I want one of THOSE. My coffee is also like..half-sugar, half-milk, so I'm a bit of a coffee-pansy."
What is your favorite Edentube video that someone has done.I can't possibly pick my favorite actual review -- there have been far too many and so many of you do them so, so well!
I can say that Kevin from Pipedream's recent video of the Fuck Me Silly really tickled me. I think it was the ass slap at the end, it was just perfect!
How long have you had your labret? I think you have/had other piercings, but I'm not sure. Is the labret your favorite?You know, until I see a picture where it is really noticeable, I forget it's there? Weird, hey?
It is my favorite piercing, probably because it's the one I've had the least problems with it. I also secretly really enjoy the fact that no one ever comments on it, despite it being a facial piercing. I don't get weird looks, even from older folks, even when I worked in the hospitals. Just goes to show that "weird" stuff can seem totally normal and IS normal, treated like it's no big deal so long as you don't make a big deal of it.
I've had it for... hmmm... 7 years? I've only ever changed the actual jewelry once, when I lost the original.
I have had other piercings. I still have my ears done -- two earrings in each ear, plus a cartilage piercing in my left upper ear -- as well as a dual inner labia piercing. I had nipple, tongue and outer labia piercings, as well, but removed all of those about 5 years ago.
Kayla (host): "I'm totally the most awkward college student ever. I had to google what a labret is. 7 years is an insanely long time. I'm not going to tell you where I was 7 years ago, or it'll just make you feel old."
What was your most memorable ride and where was to?We rode to West Virginia from Wisconsin once in late October. It was freezing, probably 40 degrees when we left home. We were going to move Taylor's mom from WV to WI and figured taking the bike we could put it in the Uhaul and not have to drive two vehicles home. Saving gas, you know?
Gods almighty, when we hit the freeway doing 75 miles per hour it was so cold I thought I was going to die. All through Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana...
I'm not sure how you figure out wind chill and all that but it was freezing. FREEZING.
It took us like 20 hours to get there due to frequent coffee -- and then, of course, frequent pee -- breaks but we got there. Slept a few hours, packed up Taylor's mom and drove home in the truck. By the time we got to the tolls in IL we were ridiculously silly and I think they thought we were drunk.
Thankfully, when I think about riding I'm more likely to recall shorter, warmer trips that were actually fun but can't name a specific one that I remember most. They all blend together into a single joy.
Its five thirty on this colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra afternoon in Alabama! I have to ask, is your cat happy? mine is!My cat is ecstatic, she just got fed. My dogs, on the other hand, are whining over the tenderloin I have roasting in the oven and knowing they won't be getting any.
I sure hope that's the cat you meant...
Kayla (host): "You're such a perv.
I wish I had a kitty. I wonder if it's easy to keep the cat and dogs from fighting. Ours were like best friends; it was weird."
I love the pink color in your hair and I've always been curious if you like it for it's aesthetic look or if there's something more to it and how long you've been doing it.I started doing my hair pink because my guy asked me to. He insisted it would look really good on me so I tried it -- and screwed it up horribly. I chose a purple/pink and it was so, so unflattering on my skin tone.
I tried again a couple years later and had much better results with a pinker pink, a warmer pink and have been doing it off and on ever since. It's probably been... hhhmm.... 4 years? 5? Probably five.
I go back to brown about once a year, swear I'm getting too old for the pink and then realize I miss it. I like the way it brightens my face and, I'll admit it, I like being "that pink haired girl on the back of Taylor's bike." So I start over, re-do it and keep it for about a year, only to start the cycle all over again!
Kayla (host): "You're never too old to have hair that you truly enjoy. I have a feeling we'll start seeing the elderly in funky-color hair colors now that it's more popular."
What was your very first sex toy?A rabbit. Though it had a beaver on it. It was horrifying and noisy and I really wish I'd gone with a pocket rocket or something!
Kayla (host): "I think I got lucky. One of my first toys was actually a traditional vibrator that I really enjoy - even today. The rabbit sounds horrible. I remember thinking that, when I was looking for my first toy, that rabbits looked frightening."
What has been the most surprising part of working with Eden, besides, of course, the surprises that toys can provide?I think...
I guess it's that I'm still here. I was initially hired to do the tweeting for SexIs, just a couple hours a day and I really didn't expect it to ever turn into a full-time job.
I am thankful that it did, grateful to be a part of this company and community but can't deny that I still wake up some days, shocked that I've come so much further and done so much more than I ever imagined I would.
Kayla (host): "Now I'm curious how long you've been with EF. Sometimes I'm amazed by the internet offering "real jobs" though too, so I understand how you feel."
What's your favorite review that you've written? (I don't necessarily mean your favorite toy, but what review pleases you most?)It may be silly and sappy but I think my favorite review is probably the one I did on the Energie. Not because it is a spectacular review but because that was when, I think, I "got it", got what a review should be about.
Things were changing at that time, reviews moving from kind of erotica based to informative and when I did that review I had kind of a Eureka! moment, I guess.
I like to think I've improved since then but I love that review because I remember the moment and it was a good one.
Kayla (host): "I think you must have improved since you write some of the most useful reviews on EF (to me), so I think this Eureka moment was for the best."
I absolutely hate peeling garlic. It takes forever, and sometimes the skin sticks, and...
What's your least favorite part of cooking?Chopping onions because I hate how my hands will retain the scent for hours and hours sometimes. Mostly, though, I hate cleaning up!
I know how much you love bubble baths and all other things sensual, what's your favorite thing to pamper yourself with?You hit it on the head with the bubble baths.
I have this ridiculously corny CD called "Loon Song" that is a nature music thingy. I like to pop that in (though these days it's on the ipod, not a cd player), pour a giant glass of moscato (a great bath wine), run the hottest bath I can stand, grab a book, lock the door and just leave everything and everyone behind for an hour while I relax.
My collection of bath products, oils, soaps and even poofy sponges verges on an obsession but, other than rides in the summer, it's the one thing that always makes me feel good.
Kayla (host): "I wish I could relax as well as you do. Baths actually annoy me. I get pruny, mad, and bored very easily. You make taking a bath sound so fun though; I'm disappointed in myself."
How did you get started reviewing sex toys?I actually got an email from someone here at EF.
I can't, for the life of me, remember who was in charge of the review and affiliate program at that time but I got an email asking if I wanted to sign up. I was intrigued and did, immediately, sign up for the affiliate program but held off a bit on the review thing. I was kind of like... eh. Whatever.
Within a few months, though, I'd turned in my "sample review" -- which is how we got approved back in the stone ages -- and was happily writing really bad reviews.
I have to say that decision was probably the best I've made in recent years!
Kayla (host): "That's insane. Look where that one little e-mail has led you now. Maybe you should try and find who was in charge of it and thank them or something. :)"
If you had a million dollars (you'd be rich), what would you do with it?I would...
Pay off my parent's mortgage, buy my own home, buy Taylor the biggest, baddest bike he could find and put the rest in the bank and continue to live just like we do now, only with a bigger place and a bigger bike.
I'd probably also fly you and M to Wisconsin for a visit!
Did you ever think that you would be reviewing sex toys, and becoming such a major staple in a community like EF?I've done a lot of different things but reviewing was a big step for me, something I really wasn't sure I wanted to do. Once I started, though, I got a little wrapped up in it and can only be glad that I did.
My road at EF was rocky in the beginning! I argued on the forums and was a big pain in the ass for Victoria when she first started here. I would never, ever have guessed that this is where I'd have ended up, doing the job I do and being so involved in so much of the company. I'm glad though! So glad.
**ps. I do not recommend being a pain in the ass on the forum as a way to get ahead!**
Kayla (host): "I think I'm going to have to ask Victoria about how much of a pain you were. Guess it goes to show even the 'worst" people on the forums can end up cleaning up their act to become valued members of the community. I can't imagine what you had to be a pain in the ass about though."
What is your favorite thing to do, to help you unwind after along/stressful day?If it is warm weather, I like more than anything to get on the back of my guy's bike and take a long, winding motorcycle ride. It is the one thing that empties my mind completely of stresses.
If I can't do that, I choose a bath or a book -- or both! And snuggles, of course, especially if the snuggles include my hair being played with.
Before coming to work at Eden, what other jobs have you held?Well...
I was a waitress for a long time,when I was young. I managed a watch and jewelry repair shop. I was a manager at a jewelry store in a mall. I was in the medical field for many years -- I started out as a CNA in a nursing home and ended up as an EMT, ER tech and psych tech. I've done amateur porn and fetish videos, though I don't know if I can really call those jobs.
Then I was a house mouse for awhile. That was my favorite job, besides this one. I truly enjoyed taking care of the house, cooking, cleaning, pampering my family. The job with EF came at just the right time, though, just when I was needing a challenge.
And it's always a challenge, in the best possible ways!
Kayla (host): "A jewelry store sounds like a fun job. I think I'd end up wanting to purchase some of the gorgeous rings and necklaces though. It's neat how many different jobs you've held though."
Are you a fan of lingerie? Do you enjoy wearing it? What's your favorite piece of clothing to wear? Sweatpants? Jeans?I am not a huge fan of lingerie on myself. I'm not the slinky sexy or frilly or girly cutesy type, I guess. I'm more likely to throw on an old jersey or man's shirt than a lacey gown.
Nothing really seems to suit me when it comes to lingerie.
My favorite clothes are jeans, a tank top and boots -- though I'll also admit I like sweatpants and pj bottoms for around the house and probably do so too often, especially in winter.
Kayla (host): "I bet Taylor likes you that way too. :) I think my sweatpants and PJ bottoms are probably my first-love. I love running around the house in pajamas. It's nice, freeing, and not as constricting as jeans."
Have you ever roasted your own coffee?
We brought home a kilo of green coffee beans from Mexico last year and I just started toasting up this week - cast iron on a gas stove. It's like no other coffee I've had before - you must try it!
What's your favourite way to prepare your coffee? French press? Stove-top espresso pot? Drip or machine?I have not, though it sounds interesting! Someday, maybe.
My favorite way to prepare coffee is probably French press though I don't often take the time. I use a Keurig or a Tassimo single serve machine at home daily, depending on what I want. When I go out for coffee I tend to get a dry cappuccino with half and half instead of milk or a plain espresso.
Damn. Now I want to go out for coffee...
Who would you say your favorite author is, and what's your favorite book?My favorite author is probably a tie between Janet Evanovich and Anne Rice (though I dislike her erotica). Janet Evanovich amuses me greatly and Anne Rice's books (particularly the non vampire ones like Cry to Heaven and Violin) are so rich in descriptive details and emotion they keep me enthralled.
My favorite book is Winnie the Pooh.
Or, if I must choose an adult book, it would be 'Tis by Frank McCourt.
Kayla (host): "Anne Rice, huh? It makes me want to go try reading one of her books again. The last time I read them was in elementary school, and needless to say, they just weren't that appealing to me at the time. I have "Claiming of Sleeping Beauty" now though.
Never was fond of Winnie the Pooh though."
What are your views on Starbucks?Ah-ha! A guilty pleasure. My rational brain knows Starbucks is not very good. My snobby side says Starbucks is "so 2005". My tastebuds do not follow along and actually like most Starbucks coffees. They're all dark and nearly burnt and strong enough to give me a stomach ache after too many glasses and even if it means hanging my head in shame, I have to admit I'm fond of them.
Not the fancy drinks so much, though. Too sweet. But I do like their beans.
Kayla (host): "So do you end up making your own Starbucks coffee at home?
Their fancy drinks is all I will touch there. Their straight coffee is wayyyy too strong. You are a much better coffee-drinker than I am. I concede."
How do you like your coffee?Generally strong and dark with enough half and half to make it caramel colored. Lighter roasts I drink black and occasionally I add a few teaspoons of vanilla sugar when I'm craving sweets.
(Vanilla sugar, for those who don't know, can be easily made by taking a container of sugar -- I like the Sugar in the Raw stuff -- and tossing in a vanilla bean. Let sit in a sealed container for a couple weeks and, voila!, vanilla sugar. It's delicious!)
What, in your opinion, is the most rewarding aspect of the reviews you yourself do? What is your one biggest tip for a new reviewer?I think, for me, the most rewarding part of reviewing is knowing that I've inspired someone to try something they may not have otherwise.
It's a lot of fun to review popular toys but I kind of enjoy, even more, reviewing the toys that haven't been reviewed as often, or putting a spin on a toy that might not have been thought of before. Like using the inflatable wedge as a bath pillow.
My #1 tip for new reviewers is...
Have fun. It's not all about stats and cleaning info. Those things are important but put your personality into your reviews and tell us what you thought of the product. That is the most important thing.
Kayla (host): "I never would have thought of an inflatable sex pillow for a bath. Neat and creative. It'd probably be pretty comfy for your head too.
I agree with your tip. Sometimes I get caught up in what's "required" information that I even forget to let my personality shine through."
Of the many programs that you run, which is your most favorite?EdenCafe, without a doubt. I feel like it's my baby and I"m so proud of it.
Of course, it wouldn't be what it is without the community of writers it has which makes me proud of all them, too!
Kayla (host): "EdenCafe is amazing. :) It's great what you've managed to do with it. I'm always impressed."
You've tested a lot of sex toys and products. If you could design your dream toy, what would it look like and what features would it have?You know, I am really horrible at visualizing things so this question truly stumps me. Then there's the fact that I don't think I could ever be satisfied with just one sort of toy so I suppose...
I would want it to be magical and able to morph into whatever my body was craving at any time.
What? That is so NOT too much to ask! Hehehe
Kayla (host): "Magical dildo! Like a mythical unicorn..."
If someone asked this already, forgive me. How does your son feel about your job?My son is absolutely amazing. I truly have no idea how he turned out the way he did, how I got so lucky.
He's really open and easy about sexuality in general. He's not embarrassed by much and wasn't even afraid to ask me for condoms or admit when he started to be sexually active. He doesn't act like it's no big deal but he does act like it's totally natural and normal.
My job, to him, is just a job. He jokes with me when I get mail, teases that I'm getting more "dicks" in the mail. I guess because I never made a big deal out of it, he doesn't either. It's just a job. Sex toys are just a part of life. He's even sort of broached the idea of getting something for his girlfriend -- jokingly, but in a way that lets me know he's going to be okay with the idea of her using sex toys if she wants to. (Which is awesome. I'd be sad if I had a child who was intimidated by toys or didn't understand that people need and want variety)
He'll be 18 this summer so I guess I shouldn't be so shocked that a near adult acts so adult about the subject but I am, almost daily.
I want to pat myself on the back for doing a good job with him but I don't think I can take the credit. I think he was just born amazing.
Kayla (host): "Your son sounds freakin' amazing. That's all that needs to be said."
How does your son feel about you reviewing sex toys and working at EdenFantasys? How old was he when you told him?Oooh! I just answered this one to Lauren -- the first part, at least -- but as for when I told him..
I've worked for EF for going on two years in Spring and have reviewed since '07 and I guess he's always known. He was 15 at the time I started working here and it's kind of hard to make stuff up and hide what you do for a living when he sees the site open almost constantly.
I've always been pretty open and honest with him so it was really no big deal.
I firmly believe that if you act like something is normal, the people around you will feel like it's normal. Reviewing, sex toys and sexuality are all normal so I never acted like it was something to hide -- hence he feels like it's just a natural part of life and not something to be ashamed of.
I love that. Really, really love that and am very proud of him.
When you were a kid, what did you want to be or do when you grew up?Well, first I wanted to be a nun.
Seriously. I went to Catholic school.
Then I wanted to be a nurse, then a doctor. Then I wanted to be a teacher but decided, quickly, that I couldn't deal with teenagers on a daily basis and the only thing I was interested in teaching was high school English.
I know. But, honestly, I used to be good at it.
Yes. A nun.
Kayla (host): "I really can't picture you at Catholic school. Like, at all."
How old were you when you go your first sex toy and what was it?When I was quite young I used to stick an electric razor in my pillow case and hump it.
Can I consider that a sex toy?
Then a traditional vibe - you know, the beige kind with the twist dial - turned up in a closet and I tried it. I kind of ewwwwwwww now, knowing it was probably my mom's but, hell, I was young, didn't think much with all those hormones.
My first real sex toy was a beaver/rabbit thing and, thinking back now, it was horrifying. Just horrifying. Ugliest rabbit vibe ever.
If you weren't working for Eden, what do you think you'd be doing?
If you were not working for eden or had not discovered it all, how do you think your life would be different? What do you think you would be doing instead?Well, I'd definitely have less money, since I was a house mouse for a long time before I started with EF.
I think I probably would have ended up going back to psych work. In this economy, we would have needed for me to go back to work and that was what I enjoyed doing the most. It also broke my heart on a regular basis and I went home crying a lot so I'd probably also be a lot more stressed out!
Kayla (host): "Yeah. A lot of Psychologists require therapy themselves since dealing with everyone's issues all the time is stressful. I'm glad you found a better-suiting job for you. :)"
What's your favorite movie of all time??No making fun of me but...
It's a tie between the little known "Story of Us" (amazing movie that really hits home for me about how relationships that work need... work and effort and are not ever smooth sailing forever) and "On Golden Pond".
Cheesy, I know.
Kayla (host): "I think my youth (and lack of media experience) is showing, but I've never heard of either of those. Cheesy movies can be good movies though."
Which format do you prefer to write your onsite reviews in? Standard or Extended?I personally prefer to read and write the Standard template. I like the more personal way they come across and I like writing in a more personal, free form style.
I think the Extended is a really, really great tool for new reviewers, though, as it teaches them what should be included and can't be beat for Description Reviews.
More than any of those, however, I like to write offsite reviews. They make me feel like i"m sitting down to coffee with the folks who read them, chatting with them about the toy, and I enjoy that a lot.
Kayla (host): "I like reading your off-site reviews. You always seem more conversational in them, and I love the pictures (when they're included)."
Do you regret doing any of those amateur porn or fetish videos?Not at all!
The straight up porn always made me feel awkward because I'm very closed about sharing my sexual reactions with people. I don't like to give those pieces of me to just anyone, which is why we stopped doing it.
The fetish stuff was mud/quicksand fetish films and it was a blast! Very little nudity and a lot of bad acting. I wouldn't trade those times for anything. It wasn't my fetish, it was something I did as a favor to a great friend, but it was absolutely a good time and majorly enlightening.
Kayla (host): "Are we talking about *literal* mud/quicksand fetish videos? Is this a real fetish?
Wow. I think I'm missing out on some vital things."
It's no secret that you've got quite a toy collection going, what's your favorite toy overall?I used to always answer this with "Benjamin Bond" but, I have to say, he's been usurped.
I also have a hard time admitting my favorite toy because... well... I made fun of it and called it ugly and swore I wouldn't get it and would always hate it forever and ever and ever and it's just humiliating to now have it be my favorite.
The damned Eroscillator with the soft fingertip attachment.
I love that thing.
Kayla (host): "You've gone over to the dark side."
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I have to know, Carrie Ann!!If a woodchuck tries to chuck my Nobessence, I will beat it with a jelly dong!
I know you've had to deal with frustrating people, myself included, in your line of work. Is it easy for you to look past issues and move on with the future?I am a hot tempered, blunt, cranky woman sometimes.
I get angry easily and yell and fuss and then, five minutes later, am laughing with the person. My whole family is like that so to me it's normal -- but I know most folks aren't like that.
I guess I take fights and argument and difficulties with people as no big deal and move on easily. I think the only time I hold a grudge is when someone hurts me. Then I have a hard time letting go of that hurt and trusting them again.
Thankfully that has not happened at work!
How many pets do you have, and do they all get along and behave?We have 2 dogs and 1 cat and they mostly get along. The dogs do, anyhow. (A 5 year old beagle and a 2 year old rottie) The cat is old and cranky and just lays on my bed all day and ignored the dogs.
We had a kitten recently but had to give it up. It was feeling very challenged by the other animals and behaving badly. Broke my heart cuz I loved him like I can't even explain but it wasn't fair to the animals who were here first to have him disrupt their lives.
Kayla (host): "A beagle? Those dogs always seem very hyperactive. I don't know if I could keep up with them.
I want a kitten. :( That's really sad. We've had problems with kittens not adjusting to our animals too. It seems to be a personality thing; just like humans."
I've been reading your blog, A View from the Floor, for almost two years now. I've seen it change a good bit during this time, both in content and in design. Is it still evolving? What's your vision for it? Are there things you might want to include later that have been on the back burner?I've been blogging since '05.
I used to have three blogs; one for BDSM stuff and reviews, one for vanilla stuff and one for angry, angsty stuff. I also blogged on MySpace and Multiply, whatever social platform I was using at the time to keep in touch with friends. I've used tripod, blogspot, wordpress.com, tumblr and live journal.
Eventually I settled on self hosted wordpress and my blog has morphed into what it is today.
I used to have a dark and sexy theme but have gradually moved to a more readable, professional looking one.
I also combined all my blogs, imported entries all into the one and figured.... fuck it. I am what I am and it's silly to separate myself into all these different identities.
Through it all, though, I've blogged for me. I don't have a schedule I keep or a plan I stick to. I blog about whatever pops into my head when I feel like writing. Always have. I sometimes go months with only a post or two and sometimes post twice a day for months. I never let it bother me either way.
I'm selfish. My blog is my space. It's a small view into not just my life but *me*. I refuse to be pressured by it or to feel like I have to make it bigger and better all the time. I want it to remain that way -- my personal place, my flinging of myself out into the universe.
I can honestly say I have no plans for it other than to hope the urge to write stirs soon. (I haven't written anything there all year!) It evolves as I evolve, organically.... and I like that.
I *do* seem to include less BDSM and sexy stuff since I started my job here at EF. It's kind of awkward. Those who may peek in at the blog just because they saw me here but have not followed long term could easily freak out by some of what I say. I'd probably be accused of being anti feminist and sex negative. Heh. So I definitely withhold a bit more than I used to and hope I can overcome that in the future but, otherwise?
The blog is just me, talking to myself or some invisible coffee klatch in my mind, and it's never likely to be anything more than that.
Kayla (host): "That was an amazing look into your blogging. See? This is why we do interviews."
What made you choose a public blog, as opposed to a private journal to work out your thoughts?Mostly, I've always journaled in some way, whether it was with pen and paper or saved documents typed into the computer. At one point, I realized I wanted a nice, pretty place to put it all and share it with Taylor and some of our lifestyle friends.
I never really grasped the whole "public" thing, never expected more than 10 or 20 people I knew to be reading my stuff.
I"m not sure, had I thought about it, had I known how it would grow (and then ebb and flow thru the years) that I would have chosen the public option -- but I guess I'm glad I did. We all like to know we're being listened to when we talk, I guess.
Kayla (host): "I'm sure you have a lot more than 10 or 20 readers now. I guess I never really stop to think about the vast amount of people who read my blog either."
What advice would you give someone who wants to start a blog?I would ask them what sort of blog they wanted and why they wanted one.
The key to being successful, in my opinion, is figuring out what you want and what to do about it.
Then I'd tell them to take it slow, be themselves, and don't fall for gimmicky ways to grow and become "popular". If you get big instantly, you're likely to crash just as instantly.
Slow and steady wins the day!
When and how did you realize your interest in BDSM?I'm not sure I can pinpoint an exact time. BDSM has always, for as long as I can remember, been a part of my fantasies -- even before I knew what it was. The inequal power dynamic has always been my choice, even before I realized it.
I was more formally introduced to BDSM as a lifestyle and something other people did when I was 20 by a woman I met while getting a tattoo.
It was a definite turning point in my life.
Kayla (host): "That's neat. At a tattoo salon? Was she the artist or just a patron? I can't imagine finding out about BDSM like that. My experience was finding out on the internet."
How did you tell your partner at the time that you were interested in BDSM? Where you never about telling him?When I first got into BDSM in a way that gave it a name and a definition, I didn't have a partner so it was not a big thing. I also didn't feel it was something I "needed" for a long time and wandered from it to vanilla relationships and back again.
When I did realize it was something I didn't want to be without again, I stopped choosing partners who I'd have to explain it to. Everyone I've been with since then has met me with the full knowledge that "this is what I do/need/am".
I know how much more rich my life is because of BDSM. What is the most significant thing BDSM has brought to your life? How has it enhanced your relationship with Taylor?For me, accepting that aspects of BDSM are integral to who I am as a person has made my life much less drama free.
I'm a masochist and a rather extreme emotional masochist so before I figured out that I could get those needs met in a consensual way I found myself in a lot of bad relationships with a lot of not so good people.
BDSM allows me to be me, allows me to feel like it's okay to be me and keeps my life very balanced.
My relationship with Taylor has been based on BDSM and D/s since day one so I guess... it's more than enhanced it, it's caused it? If that makes sense.
We wouldn't be together if either of us were "nilla.".
Kayla (host): "Those "nilla"s. It's interesting how BDSM has been so vital to your relationship with him. I guess I don't think my relationship with the boyfriend would work nearly as well without the D/s aspect either. I can get very cranky."
When I went away to college my mom kept crying that she couldn't believe time went by so fast. Can you believe that your son is really at the age to be going away or is he still your little baby?
How do you feel about the fact that you'll have an empty nest pretty soon?I have enjoyed every single stage of my son's life. It's weird, because I'm always highly aware of how he's changed, how he's grown and where we are on the path.
Some days I miss the two year old boy. I miss snuggles and big, gummy smiles. But mostly, I enjoy him at this age more than any other. He's such a... person. More, he's a person I truly like and respect.
I'm a little sulky over him leaving soon -- though he does have one more year of high school and will likely not "go away" to college so he may be around a few more years.
At the same time, I feel okay with the idea of moving on to the next stage of my life and having more time to focus on me and on my relationship with Taylor.
And having more time to have sex whenever, however we want to!
Teens put a HUGE damper on sex!
Kayla (host): "I can just imagine the day after your son leaves. Your house will be sex-toy-palooza! I'm sure he'll come back often to visit though."
I'm not sure if it's been asked already; but.. Have you ever visited the warehouse where EdenFantasys keeps all of their goodies? What was your reaction to it? I've seen pics, and it looks freakin awesome (to me atleast . )I have! I got to go out to NJ when we did the April Flores Love Toy Art Show in October of '09, got to meet everyone from the office and see the warehouse.
It's HUGE! Shelf after shelf, row after row of toys. It's kind of intimidating and probably a good thing we didn't get to spend a lot of time there, because I would likely have gone into some kind of overdose coma. heh
Kayla (host): "I'm so jealous. I want to look at it sometime. I can't even imagine so many sex toys in such a small space."
Of course here at EF we all know you, but what about When you go out in public around your hometown. Do you get recognized at all?Oh gosh, no.
I may, possibly, on a good day, get recognized at BDSM events but I live in a fairly big city. The only folks who recognize me are the ones who recognize me as that crazy pink haired girl who lives down the road with the noisy dogs. (beagles bay. they're loud. it's insane)
When you're not on EF, what else are you usually doing?I recently quit smoking and took up using an e-cigarette to help do so. (Nicotine delivery via an inhaled vapor, rather like using a patch or gum in that you "step down" to lower levels of nicotine gradually.)
I find myself lately on a lot of vaping forums and smoking cessation sites. Heh.
Other than that?
I write in my own blog, read a lot, sit around talking to my guy and my kid, ride in the summer but am mostly a homebody.
My favorite thing to do is... Chill!
Kayla (host): "I end up doing a lot of reading too; it's one of those amazing ways to relax. Plus, you can get some amazing information out of books. I did not know you had just quit smoking though; the things I'm learning about you!"
How is the relationships in your circle of boyfriend and son? I know when my dad was dating it annoyed me a lot. Have the guys in your life been able to handle each other?It's really good, actually.
Taylor has been living with us for 9 years so the kid has had him around since he was 8. My son's dad lives in California and he only sees him 3 or 4 times a year so he and Taylor are even closer because of it.
The kid will often say, "Taylor's not my, like, DAD, but he is the closest thing I have to one every day."
They love each other.
Thank gods.
Kayla (host): "It sounds like they have a better relationship than I have with my own father, so it's a good thing. I can actually imagine Taylor being a really great father."
A Canuck has to know, have you ever had a Tim Horton's coffee?
NOMI have not but it's on my bucket list!
Have you ever considered getting your own motorcycle license or taking a Rider's Education program to become a better passgenger? Would you let your son?It is actually my intention to take a riders course this year though only time will tell if I'll have the time! My bike may sit another year...
I would absolutely encourage my son to take the course if he ever showed the inclination to ride but, so far, he really hasn't and isn't super fond of being a passenger, either.
My fiance actually teaches a Share the Road program -- it's part of our local drivers ed course load, helping keep drivers aware of motorcycles on the road.
I haven't really considered a class to become a better passenger. I guess ...
I've been riding on the back of bikes since I was just a kid. Since the 70s. I'm sure there is always something to learn, a way to improve but considering I really only ride with Taylor (I'm weird and do not hop on the back of hardly anyone's bike) and he consistently praises me for being a good fender buffer, I don't worry about it too much and would rather spend the time learning to ride my own - if I could find some spare time!
Do you or Taylor do most of the cooking? What is your favorite thing to make for dinner?Taylor cooks... spaghetti.
Which is actually not true. He taught ME how to cook "his" spaghetti.
We're a totally traditional household. I cook and clean, he does the yard and car work. It works for us -- though I've taught my son a little less traditionally and he's fully aware of the fact that most men do, indeed, help with housework and cook and that the way Taylor and I are has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with what we've agreed to do.
My favorite thing to make for dinner is probably chicken scallopine. The aroma makes me drool and it's all "fancy" while still being pretty easy.
Kayla (host): "It made me smile that you took the time to teach your son that it doesn't "have" to be like that. You're an amazing mother."
What is the very first thing you do when you wake up? Describe your mornings. Are you a morning person? (I swear, I'm not creepy )Hmmm...
Well, I am not a morning person, at all. Taylor often says my head spins around and I hiss. I don't quite believe him but it's close.
On work days, I set my alarm for 7:30 and usually stumble out of bed at 7:45 or 8:00. (I"m a snooze hitter) I bump into the door, Taylor's desk and a chair on my way to the coffee pot. I put in a K cup (I use a keurig), press the middle button and go pee. By the time I'm done, the coffee is done and I add half and half and trip my way to my desk. I open the laptop and blink at it for a minute or two, then log into Skype and open email.
Someone usually messages me on Skype in the next few minutes and I answer them, though I do not believe I normally make much sense since I still cant' quite see...
Some days, when I have a lot of email to catch up on, I hold off on logging into Skype until 9, at which time I am pretty much awake and have had 3 cups of coffee.
On weekend? I sleep as long as I can and the whole family avoids me once I do get up until I've stopped blinking (and my head stops spinning around).
Kayla (host): "Your mornings actually sound pretty dramatic. Mine seem tame in comparison."
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would that be?Wow.
I don't know if I can choose. Anywhere? Somewhere with mountains AND an ocean and probably outside the US.
Greece or something.
Of course, I've never lived anywhere but WI so chances are I'd be homesick and end up back where I started anyhow....
Kayla (host): "You should try Iowa. It's kinda like Wisconsin, but only a lot more flat."
There are many people on this site with pink hair, why do you think this color in particular is so popular? Have you ever tried any other colors?I have not, personally, other than natural colors. I think pink is so popular because a) there are shades to go with just about any skin tone and b) it stays in and fades more nicely than other unnatural colors.
Kayla (host): "I do like the pink with your skin. Maybe it's because it works really nicely with your slightly pale complexion, but I know I couldn't pull off pink. It's like perfect for you. It actually matches your voice too - I know that makes no sense, but it does."
Do you own any stock in coffee places you go a lot?
Hey Carrie Ann, First off I want to say that I really appreciate all the help you have given me with the EdenCafe Blog!
Are you a Starbucks girl or a Small Business Coffee Shop girl? Personally while I love supporting the little guys, I spend just about EVERY Wednesday night at Starbucks with a group of local kinksters and pagans.
Also, what are your views on the BDSM/Fetish Community ?I tend to go to Starbucks if I need a fix and am not sure where anything else is.
My main coffee place, however, is a small place called Moondance. They won my loyalty when they remembered, a YEAR after my first visit, on my second. Impressive and the coffee and food is excellent.
I do not own stock in any coffee places.
As for my views on the BDSM/Fetish Community...
Eh, it's like any community. It has good points and bad and it is very dependent upon your location.
Online, I tend to get exasperated by the fact that everyone seems to want to be part of everything, accepted by everyone, one big giant group of sameness. I don't feel the same as everyone else and am more of a small community kind of gal.
Our local community is a little fractured on a large scale; always some fight between the "old" folks and the "newbs" but, in general, the community I choose to spend time with is a close knit group who fully support one another.
Community is such a hard word, isn't it? It can mean your immediate neighborhood or something much, much larger. I could talk forever about it... but won't.
Kayla (host): "Community is a hard word. It's a big enough word that my local university offers an entire class just titled "Community" though. :P"
Is it true that Danny Bonaduce had to take out a restraining order on you because you stalked him?No, but he did block me on Twitter once.
I got a little too enthused about his clock.
Kayla (host): "Sometimes you are such a weirdo.
That is kinda neat though. One of those stories to "tell your children"."
Where on earth do you keep all those toys you have?Well....
I've given away or swapped probably half of the things I've reviewed. I don't like to keep things I'm not going to use often enough, that will be neglected not because they are bad but because I have too much stuff. I"m not much of a hoarder.
Of the stuff I still have, I use an over the door shoe holder (fabric, with pockets) to hold my wood, glass and metal toys. I use two Toi Bocks' for my LELO and other luxury stuff. I use two Devine Playchests and a clear plastic cart with drawers for the rest.
Lube is all over the place, along with lip balm.
Kayla (host): "I've seen your pictures of all your toys. It's an amazing thing to see. I remember when you only had one ToiBocks too; those things are amazing enough to own two."
If you had to choose only one toy from your toy collection to use, and all your other toys would be boxed up and sealed for one year, which toy would it be? You've tried so many, I'd be curious to know if you have one which is your absolute "Don't take this away from me" toy.
You talked about your favoruite toy... but what would be your top five favourite toys?
Everyone's been asking what your favorite toy is, so my question is, what is your partner's favorite toy to use on you? And have you ventured into using some on him?
Hi Carrie. What was the first sex toy you "fell in love" with and what's your all-time standby toy?The first toy I "fell in love" with was probably the Form 6. It was so magical to me, mostly because I was floored that I was given it to review. I didn't feel worthy!
My top five toys would have to be, in no particular order
- Eroscillator with marshmallow attachment
- Vixen Lonestar
- Pure Wand
- Intrigue
- Feeldoe
I tend to grab the Eroscillator as my solo time stand by, a small clit vibe like the MiMi or Siri for partner sex.
My favorite toys for him to use on me are glass toys. He's much better than I am at angling them properly and getting the right rhythm.
For use on him... we both LOVE tenga eggs. They make hand jobs a LOT of fun.
And if I had to pick one toy, the rest to be boxed up for a YEAR?
Oh my.
I'd just beat the person trying to do it over the head with the Eleven and keep them all, instead.
Kayla (host): "A Tenga Egg? I guess I can see that. I think we'd be more of a Fleshlight type of couple, but at the same time, the Eggs are a fun texture but you can still feel the hand through the Egg.
Neat list though. I still don't think you'll ever get me on the dark side of the Eroscillator lovin' though."
What's your favorite time of year, and why?I love spring, because our winters are so long, by April we're lusting for some warmth and sunshine. I love the scent of wet, new life and that first day when you can take off your hoodie and run around in short sleeves.
I love fall, because the scents and colors amaze my senses. Because it's incredible to be able to turn off the air conditioning and breath fresh, crisp air. I love putting my hoodies back on and snuggling in on cool nights that begin to turn dark early.
I love the first snows of winter, the crunch and the brightness even at night when the world is covered in snow. I love the way everything feels insulated and quiet.
But, more than anything, I love summer. Tank tops and sunburn, the smell of sun screen and motorcycle exhaust. The wind in my hair, the heat of the road, the sweat on my neck. I love sunglasses and long, long days that never seem to end. I love the sound of neighborhood kids screaming and playing, the smell of fresh cut grass and tomatoes on the vines. I love camping and bonfires and cold Corona bottles dripping with condensation, nearly frozen from the cooler full of ice. I love lemonade and iced coffee, kayaks and canoes, digging in my garden and chasing my dogs with the hose.
Every season has something that makes it special but summer is when I feel alive. Totally alive.
OK here's the question I always dread: Do you worry that your child will become completely promiscuous because of your involvement in the sex industry?Not really.
Despite my job and my openness about sex and sexuality, he's really only known me to be with three guys; his dad, my second husband and Taylor. I think he distinguishes between sex being good, okay and normal and going hogwild crazy pretty well.
If anything, he'll be less active sexually than I ever was. He already looks down on his friends that strive for that coveted "player" 'status and is pretty responsible when it comes to partners and their feelings. With luck, he'll remain so as he gets older.
Then again, so long as it's done responsibly, I don't really think there is anything wrong with being promiscuous, either.
Kayla (host): "Seriously. Your son sounds amazing. You've got a great kid."
So, how did it come about that you're participating in the community interview? Did you volunteer? Do you have any reservations about participating?Victoria came home from her office meeting last week and said, "Oh, you're the community interview next week."
I promptly vomited and cried.
I'm shy.
This is the weirdest thing for me. I cannot figure out why anyone would want to ask me anything and truly figured I'd get like 4 questions!
Kayla (host): "4 questions? Sorry. Not quite. Try like...probably over 150. It's 'cause we all love you, so we want to know about every aspect of your life. To prove this point, I will ask the most random question ever. (You'll know it when you see it.)"
Since you love all things pink, do you find a lot of your toys being pink or do you like variety in the colors?I like variety. In fact, I like orange and green sex toys best. I have something in probably every color there is, though! (And, of course, a lot of pink and purple because they're the most common colors in sex toys in general)
Kayla (host): "I think more companies should make things in green. It can actually be a pretty sexy color in the right hue. Like a dark, forest green like the dark magenta on the Ella."
What do you tell people who ask you what you do for a living? Or even people who come over to your house (I'm probably wrong, but I feel that if I walked into your house, there'd be piles and piles of sex toys everywhere )?I generally tell people that I do social media and marketing for EdenFantasys.
If they ask more questions, I give them details about EdenCafe and the video review program and what kind of store EF is.
Mostly, though, my toys are all put away when not in use, unless I have a pile I"m currently reviewing on my desk.
Reviewing is for fun but the actual job entails more staring at documents and sending emails than messing with product.
Kayla (host): "I actually think I enjoy the "e-mail" aspect a lot more than the reviewing and playing with products part. I love interacting with people on a daily basis, and while my dildos help facilitate that, I love the interaction the most.
Maybe you should start carrying around your affiliate code to try and get some good sales off those people who ask. :P"
If you were to design your own sex toy...what would you name it?"The Sex Toy"
I? Have no imagination.
Kayla (host): "You also would have the worst Google SEO stats ever for that toy. Just sayin'."
Hi Carri Ann,
You mentioned that your son is 17. There has been an ongoing struggle for decades over the content of sex education in schools. Both political sides have pushed and pulled to get their content taught while attempting to exclude their competitor's content.
Did you educated your son about sex, or did you allow his school to do that?
If you educated him, was it because you did not trust them (school) due to political (left) or religious (right) intrusion into sex ed?
How do you stand on the matter of sex education; should it be taught in schools or in the home?
What content do you personally believe should be taught?
Thanks Carrie Ann,
Miguel (CrazyCubano Montes) M.
Hi, Carrie Ann! How did you handle the "sex talk" or just sex talk in general with your son as he was growing up? (P.S. I love you!!)My son's father sat him down and had what he called the "birds and the bees talk" with him when he was 8.
Confused and embarrassed the hell out of the kid. It was amusing and horrifying at the same time.
On my end, I have mostly shared tidbits of sex info slowly, age appropriately, as he's grown. If he asks a question or we see something on tv or in a movie, I would give him honest answers in a light-hearted yet blunt sort of way.
I started telling him to come to me and ask me for condoms when he decided he needed them when he was 12 or 13.
When he did ask for them, we not only bought them but we also pulled up youtube videos that showed how to apply them. (I figured he'd be more comfortable with that than with me pulling out a dildo of my own to show him, ya know?)
I can't say we've ever really had "the" sex talk. We've just always talked about sex as he was comfortable doing so, as he had questions.
Perhaps I am lucky that he was unembarrassed and unafraid enough to answer them but it has worked well so far.
I did allow the school to teach him most of the health info he needs with corrections from me as needed.
For example, he was told in school that condoms do NOT protect you against HIV. Hmmph. Now a bunch of kids feel like they just shouldn't bother with them since they don't help anyhow. I set him straight -- but wish, with all my heart, the schools didn't put us in a place where we have to do that.
I believe kids should learn sexual health basics at school. I do.
But I also believe parents need to take the majority of the responsibility and actually talk to their kids.
I do not believe in abstinence only programs. At all.
Kayla (host): "Our school's idea of "help" was to ignore it completely. Not a single thing on it at all. There was a week-long report we had to write on STDs and drugs in Health class, but aside from that, nothing was ever mentioned.
I love that we live in an age where you can watch a YouTube video on putting on a condom though. That's amazing."
You must spend a ton of time on the EF website. What do you find yourself spending the majority of your time doing?My time is pretty evenly divided between EdenCafe, the back end admin where I'm always assigning stuff and puttering with gift cards and jotting notes and my email program. I get a lot of email (work related) every day.
With all that you do, we're curious how you manage your writing time? Do you have a set schedule every day for each of the things you have to write (Reviews, Cafe, blog posts, etc)? And what do you do when you have writer's block (if you get it)?I have set work hours. Even working from home, most of us still "need" to be around and working during the normal work day. So EdenCafe stuff gets done then. Any reviews I do or posts on my own blog are pretty much done after work, on "my" time. Like anyone else, I schedule them in as I have free time and as the urge to write them strikes.
I don't know that I really get writers block but I do get uninspired at times. Not that I can't write, just that I don't feel like it. I don't let it stress me out. I write when I want, and write a lot. Then, when I don't want to, I let it go.
Kayla (host): "I hate writer's block. It's one of the most annoying things out there. You must wait for some good inspiration though since a lot of your blog posts are amazingly creative and fun to read. So jealous."
I know being around for quite some that you must have developed many friendships. Does is make it hard for you to draw the line between friendship and business? Did you ever have to "put your foot down" with a friend?I have, on occasion. It's awkward and weird but, luckily, it has never effected the friendship. I try to do it nicely and most friends get that there has to be a separation between fun, friend stuff and work stuff.
What do you feel is your biggest success with Eden Fantasys?So far, EdenCafe. It's a rousing success, so much more than I ever dreamed it would be.
Next up? EdenCommunityClubs Blog!
Kayla (host): "I'm impressed to see how those are going to turn out. I'm sure it's going to be amazing."
If I send you a package of Tim Horton's coffee while I am visiting Arch in Canada this year will you think I am being a brown-noser? Will you care as you sample the coffee? Will you possibly buy a cherry scented dong to beat creepy people like me?I would never turn down coffee, especially much raved over coffee I haven't tried yet!
And that dong? Much as I'd like to have one to beat you all with, I'm afraid the scent would make my doggies nuts!
You write so many useful reviews, blog and post at edencafe, what happens on days when you get writers block? How are you able to overcome it?I am very fortunate in that most of the writing done at EdenCafe comes from the community. My own contributions don't require much in the way of creative writing and are much more administrative so writers block isn't an issue. With reviews, I tend to just muscle thru them if they're overdue. With my personal blog, if I don't feel like writing, I don't. I don't worry about it.
It's a blog, not a business. It's my "me" place and I refuse to make myself feel stressed over whether I write there or now.
Kayla (host): "I think I tend to look at my blog as more like a business. It's awesome that yours is personal though. With your 100+ contributors on EdenCafe, I can see why you don't have to come up with many articles. You just have to give us "writing minions" some ideas."
What is the meaning of life?
I have...
I really have no idea how to answer this.
I don't know that I expect life to have a meaning.
Life is a journey we all set out upon. I try to enjoy it and learn from it and truly live it. I try to have no regrets and to appreciate even the horrible stuff that happens to me as it shapes me into who I am at the end of the journey.
That? Is really all.
Kayla (host): "The Native Americans actually think that everyone's life is basically following a set "story" and you make your own "story" as you live your life. Just sounded somewhat like your idea of it. Random fact of the day."
I realize your son is older now, but when you first started with Eden, how did you manage to balance your time between him and his school events, your work, you and your partner's together time, your friends and family, and still find time to take care of yourself?It's kind of just like any job -- though it is the most challenging part of working at home. I had to set limits for myself. I still do. I try to only work until a set time so that I do have time after work for family and relaxation.
Another of the benefits of working from home is that I can take time off for school events and doctors appointments and stuff and it's not a big deal, I can make up the time later.
Mostly, though, it's just like any other working mom and partner. You juggle a lot!
How many toys do you need to review right at this moment?I am ashamed to say I have like 12 reviews pending that must be done. (I still review for multiple sites on my own time)
I have about 45 that I intend to do eventually on things I've purchased.
Help! I am hopelessly backlogged!
Kayla (host): "I totally know that feeling."
If you had the chance to work with anyone who would it be and why?Harry Potter. Totally Harry Potter. I love him cuz he's not afraid to say Voldemort. Fearless, magical people are always fun to work with.
What are some writings from EdenCafe that have stuck out in your mind? Do you enjoying reading all the entries? How often do you have to turn down entries?On EC, the posts that stick out most to me are the body image ones people have done as well as the ones people have done when speaking out against sexual assault. They're heartbreaking and hope giving and I'm hugely emotional.
I can't say I enjoy reading every single entry but I love that there are so many types of posts submitted. No one likes everything but it's great that we can offer so much for people TO like.
I think I have turned down...
Definitely less than 20 entries in the past year.
Kayla (host): "Guess you have some great contributors. I like reading the body image ones too; there's something about knowing that I'm not the only plus-sized girl who's had problems that is comforting to me."
What do you use as masturbation fodder? Video, stories, imagination, etc...Erotica, for the most part, gives me hives. I just don't like it, find it never goes in the direction I want it to and little things turn me off right when I was about to be turned on. Frustrating!
I will occasionally pop on some porn for a quickie but usually I just use my imagination.
Kayla (host): "I'm the opposite. I usually like erotica; it's not always great, but I usually find it a lot better than porn."
What are some things you would like to see take off @ EF? What are some new things you are planning on doing on the EF Blog? Are you looking for new blood?Welllll....
Right now, EdenClubs and Events are taking off like crazy, so much so that we're making a blog dedicated to them. That's my next big project.
As for EdenCafe, we're always looking for new blood. There is a "writing for EC" link at the top of every page, with some writing prompts and basic guidelines and I invite everyone to join in!
Kayla (host): "I can't even begin to tell you how many people I've referred to that "Write for EC" link."
Has anyone every really annoyed you at a job (here or previous jobs)? How were you able to handle it? Has this helped you build a stronger character?Ahhh, we all have to deal with annoying people. Heck, to someone, we all probably "are" that annoying person. That's life.
I do think, once we realize that, we do become stronger. It's easier to let things go once you're aware of them and have inspected them from all sides.
I try not to have too many dealings with those who irk me and to remain neutral as often as I can when it's job related.
I'll admit I occasionally get all worked up and vent on my blog, though.
Do you think everything is fair in love and blogging? Or are there just some bombshells or grenades that shouldn't be lobbed at readers regarding the author's personal life?I think it depends a lot on the type of blog you have.
If I had a cooking blog, it would be really awkward and weird to announce that I'd just had a threesome the night before.
If I have an erotica blog and start putting up pictures my kids drew in school, that would be weird and jarring to my readers.
At the same time, blogs belong to the person who writes them and I strongly feel we should be comfortable posting anything we want to on them. People do not have to read them.
Most bloggers, however, want readers -- hence they monitor what they say and do to avoid alienating any.
Less honesty, less shock...
Kind of boring, when you think about it.
Kayla (host): "I think blogs end up catering to our readership. Sure, I write a sex blog, but if I start posting recipes all the time, all of my sex blogger readers would probably not come as much since they don't want it. But if I'm a personal blog, that's why they're there in the first place. Y'know, just my opinion on it all. (I would be a bit creeped out by a kid's picture on an erotica blog honestly.)"
What is the craziest thing you have done on a stationary motorbike and a moving one?I drink coffee at 85 miles per hour...
Beyond that, we actually try to be really responsible on the bike, moving or still. So many motorcycle related deaths each year, so many people don't see them or think badly of them, we don't want to give anyone the idea, by our appearance or actions, that bikers are irresponsible and crazy.
Kayla (host): "Responsibility! You haz it."
What is your beauty regimen? Any secret tips you care to make not so secret? You do not look a day over 30!That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. (I"m a sucker for "young" compliments. I am, I am.)
I have no real tips other than a lot of water to balance out the coffee consumption and I always wear sunscreen. Oh! And grapeseed oil as under eye cream.
Being happy and full of life goes a long way, too. I notice I look a lot better when I can brush off stress and live happily than when I'm feeling down, stressed or miserable.
Frequent sex helps, too!
Kayla (host): "It's true. I asked the boyfriend how old you were once, and he guessed 25. You have some serious staying-young powers. Really."
How did you decide to be so open about who you are in blogging? Did it come about when you started working here or were just as open (showing your face/name/etc) before you started working here too?I started being more open about who I am online about the time Taylor and I moved in together. I simply got tired of the ever changing screen names.
By the time I started blogging in '05, I was already fully out. We were getting a BDSM community center/organization off the ground and, as Event Coordinator, I had to pretty much be out. I was already doing the mud/quicksand fetish videos and, though I used a nickname for those -- the director preferred that everyone did - there was no hiding that it was me. Had my dad come across one, a fake name wouldn't have made a difference, he'd obviously know it was me.
So I said fuck it. I told my parents about the videos and warned them I had a blog - though it was not something I thought they'd want to read and to this day they have not - and that Taylor and I like cuffs and ass slapping and went for it.
This is me. Hello. I'm Carrie Ann and I do kinky stuff and I blog and occasionally you might see me naked.
By the time I joined EF in '07 there was just no reason to make up a name.
A lot of folks think you need to give everyone all the details to be out. You don't. Just like with kids, you give them what they need as they need it. My parents did not need to understand every bit of my relationship dynamic or hear about all my kinks. Just enough to clue them in so they wouldn't be shocked was enough.
Once you decide there is nothing wrong with the way you are and what you do and stop being ashamed of it, most folks also think nothing of it so long as you don't mash their face in it and force them to see more than they need to.
Kayla (host): "I remember being amazed to find out that "Carrie Ann" wasn't a screenname. You have such a neat name."
Without giving away any surprises you might be developing yourself, what do you see as the natural evolution for the future of adult blogging? I'd love to know how you feel the integration of Social Networking into Eden is changing/enhancing the site, as well as any insight you might have into "what's next" in the ever-changing landscape of online sex-positive community.Social Networking integration is a boost to any site. It does so much to draw in people who may not otherwise ever have seen your content! I definitely see more people in the adult blogging word using social media in the future -- although, as with anything 'adult' in nature, I also see the social sites making that more and more difficult for us.
As for what's next...
I hope it is more honesty, less snark and less cliquish behavior from individuals who consider themselves sex positive. Less buzz words and more doing of positive things.
Kayla (host): "Twitter is pretty good about adult content. I know I don't put much of my "eggs" on Facebook because they keep deleting adult company's profiles though. I agree though; social networking is such a huge aspect."
How many blogs do you follow? What reader do you use?Oh, geez. I follow hundreds and hundreds of blogs. I use google reader to keep up and will straight up admit I do not keep up with any blog every day. I tend to scroll thru my reader twice a week or so and I do a lot of skimming -- though there are 30 or 40 blogs I read fully and voraciously.
What celebrity would play you in a movie about your life? What celebrity would play Taylor?I just got asked this on Formspring not long ago, I think, and could not decide! I don't really relate to any celebrities at all, can't think of a single one that feels like me or Taylor.
That's kind of pathetic, isn't it?
Kayla (host): "That's not pathetic. I don't think I could come up with one either."
what comes to mind when you hear/see the word "gummi"?Bears!
Nom nom nom. Especially the white (pineapple?) ones. Yum!
Kayla (host): "I hate the white ones. They taste awkward. The red ones totally beat the white ones."
If you found out that you only have 24 hours to live, what would you do?I would spend the day with my family without telling them. Just sit around and talk and laugh and fight. I would hug my son, hard, and make sure he knows how proud of him I am. I would cry.
And then I would go home and have the best sex of my life with Taylor and die in his arms.
Is that corny?
Kayla (host): "Not corny at all. It's actually really sad. You can't die; we need you."
Do you stick with a certain brand/shade of pink hair dye, or do you mix it up? If you have a favourite/staple, which is it? I'm trying Manic Panic for the first time, since salons are just wayyyy out of my budget these days. I'm curious about what brands are good.I always use Splat hair dye these days -- from walgreens or cvs -- though I mix it. I start with the Fetish Pink and either mix in some of their Raspberry red color or I mix in Manic Panic's light pink, depending on the shade I'm going for. The two Splat colors give me a reddish pink that is bright and deep and the Splat + Manic Panic gives me a true cupcake pink that lasts awhile.
You stated that you're not into lingerie, but are you into thongs?
(Don't worry; they get into YOU!)
I am totally a granny panty kinda gal, but I like boyshorts, too.I like hipster bikini type panties for every day, around the house. But when I go out or put on jeans, I usually wear a thong. My thighs are too heavy for boyshorts, they look horrible!
Kayla (host): "Thongs and I don't get along. Hipster binkins are cute on almost every body type though. Cheekies too."
Where do you see yourself in 10 years and how do you plan on getting there?A hard question!
I never really imagined myself being 41 and it kind of horrifies me to think of being 51. Not that 51 is old, gosh it's not, but I'm a total live in the moment type and I truly can't picture it.
The future is a big, exciting abyss and all I can say is I plan to enjoy the journey there but rarely plan much...
Kayla (host): "I wonder how long EdenFantasys will be in your future. It's kinda neat to think about. No need for retirement when you can play with sex toys all day. :)"
I,myself, being a avid coffee drinker-I am wondering do you drink it all day even right before bedtime? I was up to 75 cups/big travel cups a day. So if you were to go and donate blood would it be blood or coffee that you donate?I've never consumed that much in a day! I feel coffee deficient now!
I do about 10 cups a day these days, which probably comes out to about 100 - 120 ounces. Not nearly so much as I used to, though I do drink it right up until bed time.
When my Mom found out I was reviewing sex toys, or reviewing anything for that matter, she hasn't stopped telling me I'm wasting my time since. Has anyone, family or otherwise, given you a hard time about your job or sex toy reviews?The biggest issue I've had from others with reviewing toys is people assuming that is my job.
I get tired of telling my friends I do more than sit around testing sex toys all day. Not that reviewing is bad but it makes me a little testy when people I consider close to me reduce my job to that. They should know better!
My family has always been really supportive though and the response I usually get is "oh,what can you get me!?"
Kayla (host): "That'd be a pretty neat job to sit around and masturbate and get paid. I think it'd actually get old after awhile though. :)"
If you were stranded on an island, what would be 3 things that you would take with you and why?A magical, never ending supply of coffee.
A magical, never ending supply of books.
All of which are pretty self explanatory. Nom, entertainment, fun.
Kayla (host): "I don't really think coffee counts as food...."
As you review more toys, and toys as a whole improve, I'm sure toys you used to love get pushed to the back of the pack. Do you have a mental (or even an actual) rating system for your WHOLE toy collection? I'm kind of envisioning a little black book hidden under the mattress with tallies for all your toys. ("Tonight, Lone Star was so disappointing. I almost wish I'd just chosen Jimmyjane...")Not really?
I do have toys that get pushed back, that I forget I even have. Often when I do follow up reviews I note that the toy is under-used.
I totally *should* have that black book, though, to remind myself not to pull out certain toys that I get guilted into trying again and remembering exactly why I don't use them!
Kayla (host): "I feel like some of my toys get pretty neglected too. Poor toys. The Little Black Book idea is priceless; the "journal" of a sex toy reviewer."
If you could recommend one or two toys for beginners (solo, couple, and BDSM) what would you advise?For solo and couple use I really recommend, more than anything, a good bullet vibe. They're so versatile, relatively inexpensive and very non-intimidating.
For guys, I recommend Tenga cups for solo use. For the gals, a good, moderately sized dildo and clit vibe. Specifics would really depend upon the person but good, general use toys for just about anyone are the JeJoue MiMi (a super clit vibe!) and the Vixen Tex for a realistic dildo or the Ella for a non.
When it comes to BDSM stuff...
Ahhh. Taste dependent. Cuffs are a good start as is a soft suede flogger.
Kayla (host): "I think you should be a Sex Toy Personal Shopper."
You said you prefer to wear jeans and a tank top *highfives* I hear you! Now, for denim: faded, extra dark, blue, black, or even *gasp* acid wash?
I'm a faded black girl myselfI prefer darkish blue denim or totally worn, faded, ripped up denim that got that way thru wear, not from the factory. In boot or flare cut.
Kayla (host): "Same here. Boot cut and Flare cut is such a flattering cut."
What are 3 things that you would like to do before you die?1. Spend Christmas in a remote cabin, snowed in, with Taylor
2. Visit a foreign country besides Cancun (been there, doesn't really count. Heh)
3. Learn to dance
Kayla (host): "The remote cabin idea sounds really cute. Maybe that should be on everyone's lists."
What would you suggest to someone wanting to start working from home for the first time? Do you use any specific scheduling system?I do. I try to work normal 9-5 hours.
I am unsuccessful most times but a routine is important. You tend to run yourself ragged if you're mixing work with regular day to day stuff all the time.
Also, if you work at a desk at home all day, get UP from the desk when you're done or it feels like you're still working!
What's your guilty food pleasure?Potatoes.
I could eat potatoes all day long. French fried, mashed, baked, boiled, chips. I love potatoes.
I do not, however, like chocolate so I always fool myself that potatoes are at least slightly more healthy... as my ass expands...
Kayla (host): "I like french fries; those are sorta like potatoes.
You really don't like chocolate? Weirdo. Chocolate is amazing."
I think you are so gorgeous, do you like being in photographs?Not... particularly?
I like to mess around with taking pictures and with photo editing so I often take a lot of self images -- which are often the only ones that turn out since I take 100 to get 1 good one!
Other people tend to take candid photos and I am one of those totally "in motion" type people. I move a lot, am very expressive, so candid shots nearly always catch me rolling my eyes, with my mouth open or my hands flying around. Argh!
Kayla (host): "I hate that too. My candid photos always look ridiculous.
I second TitsMcScandal though; you are gorgeous."
What would you consider to be the most unique and unusual sex toy in your collection?Probably the Cobra Libre. It is so unusual, so different than anything out there for the guys and it really looks like a toy car!
Kayla (host): "It's true. The Cobra Libre is really unique; I keep going back and forth about buying one."
What are your biggest fears?Failure.
Failing at something I'm actually trying at horrifies me.
I'm also afraid of bugs -- especially if there are a bunch of them in one place, like an ant hill or bee hive -- and heights.
Kayla (host): "I'm with you on the bugs. Bugs are just terrifying."
Have you had any funny mishaps occur during the testing of your toys?When I got Benjamin Bond, I didn't think anything of leaving him out. I mean, it's a ghost. To me, it doesn't look at all like a sex toy.
My son had his girlfriend over, however, and she walked by my desk, into his room and was like, "Why does your mom have a vibrator sitting out on her desk?"
Ok. I guess I've lost my objectivity. LOL. Luckily, he's not embarrassed to tell people what I do and she wasn't bothered by it either but so much for thinking something is discreet!
Kayla (host): "I think this is one of those stories you have to share with everyone. It's kinda hilarious."
how long have u been part of Eden Fantasys?? i just joined about a month or so ago and i had alot of points earned and doing more again for free shipping that way =] awesome site and welcome!I started reviewing for EF in 2007 and started working for them in 2009.
So... reviewing for 3.5 years, working for almost 2. Congrats on the points and on joining the community!
Kayla (host): "I did not know you've been here for so long. Four years on EF now - Wow!"
You have tattoo(s)? How many? Which one is your favorite?I have five small tattoos. My favorite is a sketch-like image of Winnie the Pooh and Piglet, holding hands, walking into the sunset.
It's a quiet afternoon, and you're in the mood for a movie. You make some popcorn, get a drink... What genre do you put on? What genre will NEVER be playing?I prefer drama or period movies, for the most part. I'll watch comedy and action and just about anything if I have to but I HATE ZOMBIE MOVIES.
I know that's not a genre but it freaking should be!
Kayla (host): "Zombie movies aren't so bad (not usually anyway). I like drama movies though. They're some of the best."
Did you really set a fire in the review video with fire sirens? ; )LOL!
No. I was outside on my balcony and there must have been something going on in my neighborhood that day because the sirens just would't stop -- though I kept checking and could not figure out where they were coming from.
Apologies if it's been asked. But I saw that before EF, you did some time as a CNA. I just got my certification December 30th, and I'm really struggling to find a job. Any helpful advice?
And what was your least favorite part about your jobs before EF? (My RN friend says she still gets "squick"ed at suctioning up saliva and mucus and phlegm lol)For me, the worst part was the bureaucratic red tape.
For example, when people get older and develop dementia or, more specifically, Alzheimer's Disease, they often lose the ability to do a lot of things. Like walk. Unfortunately, they also forget that they cannot walk and tend to try, anyhow. Then they fall and hurt themselves, often badly.
The government says we can't give them certain drugs to keep them calm or place a safety bar on their chair to prevent them from getting up because those are restraints and chemical restraints. And so they fall. And fall. And fall. And sometimes die.
That bothers me. A lot.
The government also says that only so much staff is needed to adequately care for people - the numbers of which are not enough to one on one care for someone that constantly tries to do things they are physically not able to.
It's heartbreaking and horrible.
It's the same in hospitals. I can deal with mucus and phlegm and poop and blood and gaping wounds and gunshots and broken faces and paranoid schizophrenic people thinking I'm out to get them and bi-polar people trying to stab me but I cannot deal with having my hands tied, unable to provide good care, by regulations and rules that don't make any sense.
Sorry if that was kind of a rant!
I don't really have any advice when it comes to a job, unfortunately. It's been a lot of years since I worked as a CNA and jobs were plentiful when I did.
Kayla (host): "I knew nothing about any of those laws in place. I know those would bother me too."
What do you feel is your best stress-buster? What do you do to let off steam?I take a lot of baths, read a lot of books, listen to a lot of nature/yoga/mediation music. I used to do yoga and should again, I just find myself not having time to do it when I LIKE to do it, which is in the morning.
I sweet talk my guy into massages sometimes, too.
To let off steam I used to throw things. Now I vent on my blog or go for a ride or close myself in a room and ignore everyone for a bit until I cool off.
Kayla (host): "Maybe waking up earlier would give you more time to do some of your yoga? Massages are relaxing for me, too."
What is your favorite comfort food, and what is your strongest memory tied to it?I don't know if I can pick a single favorite. Mac n cheese. Pizza burgers. Pot pie. Stuffed cabbage. Breaded pork chops. All of my favorite feel good foods remind me of my mom - because it was from her I learned to make them, memories of being young and carefree that they bring back.
Even nicer when I don't have to cook them!
Kayla (host): "Mac and Cheese actually sounds pretty good right now. Now I think I have a craving. I blame you."
My above question just got me thinking again...
So where did the pink hair come from and when did you start dying it? It's totally become your signature.My guy suggested (talked me into) it. After a major failure, the next attempt was good and I alternate between the pink and trying to go back to natural once a year. I keep swearing I'm getting too old for the pink and then keep going back to it!
You know I once had someone ask me if this was my natural color?
I blinked so many times they probably thought I was nuts. I tipped my head and blinked some more.
And then I said, "yes" and walked out of the store.
Kayla (host): "I would have loved to witness that. I don't think pink has ever been a natural haircolor - like, ever."
Hey, Carrie Ann! First, you're amazing. But I'm sure you already know that.
But as for my question... I know you'll get asked some of the standard, but oh so interesting ones like how you got started on EdenFantasys. But there's one that's been weighing on my mind as I consider my own situation:
How/when/why did you make the decision to be "out" on Eden and not use a pseudonym and hide your face? It has actually empowered me to have you as a inspiration here but I'm not sure if I'm ready for that step. But I will confess that I also LOVE your pink hair!I"ve actually been "out" on EF since I first started here.
I hit a point years ago where I just didn't have the energy to hide anything anymore and I got tired of being called by nicknames that just weren't... me.
I have always been lucky, though, in that I have a family who doesn't razz me about any of it and have never had a job or relationship affected by my sexuality, blog or hobbies. Not everyone is as lucky. I always suggest people be very careful when being "out" but also... it is what you make of it. If you treat it like no big deal, so do most others.
And thanks for the compliments! You made me blush!
What do you use on your hair?? I only dye my tips, so my hair has always been natural and yet it never looks quite as smooth as yours does in your pictures - what's your secret??I'll admit I'm vain and totally insane about my hair.
I generally use only Tigi Dumb Blonde shampoo and conditioner, which is packed with protein goodness and smells like candy.
I rarely dry it - most days I let it air dry then help out my natural waves with a quick curl with a very big curling iron.
When I do dry it, I use a big flat brush and do it slowly, then flat iron and then curl the ends. It's time consuming and a pain in the ass.
I also use a smoothing lotion in it when it's wet (One of those Got2Be products, it's in a pink and orange bottle)
I use silicone lube on it when it's dry. Just a dab, about the size of a dime or less, rubbed between my hands and then thru my hair.
Silicone hair smoothing products work just as well but are actually more expensive since you're paying for fillers and alcohols that lube doesn't have!
I also rarely use hair spray.
Did I babble too much?
SEE! Vain. Vain, vain.
Kayla (host): "Not vain. You just want to preserve your beautiful hair; that's all. You put a lot more effort into your hair than I ever would with mine though."
What is your least favorite house-hold chore?Dishes.
And dusting.
And laundry.
And cleaning the bathroom.
I need a maid?
Kayla (host): "It does look like you need a maid. Cleaning the bathroom is easily my least favorite chore."
If your life story was sold as a perfume, what it be called?"Drama"
What was your favorite subject in school?English!
In High School, I took 14 semesters of English credits in 4 years.
Kayla (host): "That's insane. English was my favorite too."
What kind of music do you like? Do you play music when you are having sex?There isn't much music I don't like at least sometimes.
I do have a horrible sensitivity to high pitched sounds so guitar solos with a real high pitch to them make my head hurt and the high sopranos of opera cause serious pain for me but otherwise, I like it all.
I probably listen most to blues, jazz, rock and country. And hip hop. And...
if someone ask you how to become a freak in bed what would you tell themThat would depend upon what they considered freaky.
Kayla (host): "I can't even imagine the full range of "freaky" advice you could cover."
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?Probably my impatience. I tend to get very aggravated by slow people, slow technology and slow... well, anything!
Kayla (host): "People walking slowly is probably my biggest frustration. I hate being stuck behind people who are intentionally being annoying like that. Slow technology is pretty bad too."
Did you take any courses on Social Media or did you just take a learn as you go approach?Definitely learned as I went and am still learning. There is a lot of useful info online but, honestly, I feel so much of it is instinct and gut feeling and paying attention and, in terms of FB and Twitter, just being yourself, being a real person.
If your son wanted to become involved in the sex/sex toys industry, would you encourage that or try to seer him to a more conventional job?I would be okay with it, for sure, but I might encourage him to go with something more conventional,if only to save him from hassles from others down the road.
Of course, that all depends on if we're talking porn or turning into the next miracle toy designer, too. I have no issues with either but, in reality, some aspects of the adult industry give a person more problems than others!
Kayla (host): "I agree; you make some really great points. People think toy designers are "weird", but they aren't nearly as "bad" as being a porn star unfortunately."
And as for your blogging, has there ever been something you published, regretted later, and either erased or retracted?I have removed a few posts that I felt very naked and bare having shared. I never delete them entirely but, sometimes, things are just too personal and deep to have strangers gazing upon them. Usually I make those things private, viewable only by Taylor and I.
I rarely indulge in regrets, though. 99.9% of the time I live with what I wrote and learn from it, even when it brings me a lot of trouble, negative feedback or even pain.
Kayla (host): "It's still good to have some private posts. I know I've removed a couple of my picture posts."
Checked out your Fetlife account. I was surprised that you're into cutting/blood play. Besides the deep trust and love between you and Taylor, what aspect of cutting/blood play do you like best? The pain? The healing process? The smell and look of blood?It depends upon the type of knife play or cutting.
We're doing a decorative cutting on my shoulder/back that I enjoy because while we're doing it there is a deep, spiritual connection and sense of peace.
But when we do knife play the aspect I enjoy most is the edge of fear; teeth chattering, gut clenching fear.
Kayla (host): "Macho99 did his research. Knife-play can definitely be tons of fun; I didn't know you really liked it. The things you learn."
If you could meet anyone (living or dead) who would it be and why?Ahhh... my sister. I had a younger sister who died of SIDS when I was less than two years old.
Technically, I guess I met her but obviously I do not remember her. I'd like to.
Who is your favorite porn performer?Male? Rocco Siffredi. Female? Belladona.
I prefer both in their films from nearly a decade ago.
What? I'm old.
Out of all the toys you have tried, which do you think has the most powerful vibrations?A Sybian.
Besides that, however, definitely massager type toys; the Hitachi, Wahl, Fairy. Those are all way too powerful for me!
Kayla (host): "You are so lucky that you've tried a Sybian. That's insane."
How did you get the nerve to get on a motorcycle for the first time and how old were you? My boyfriend of nearly 2 years still can't get me on the back of his - first off, the seat is just too tiny for my ass, and secondly I think of all the things that CAN go wrong despite him being a very safe rider. I also think if I'd done it when I was younger and less fearful it would've been easier. Was it this challenging for you or did you just hop on?I can't be absolutely sure without making a phone call but my dad got his first bike in, I believe, 1979 -- which made me 9 years old the first time I got on the back of one.
Times were different then, as were laws. Hell, my youngest brother was 4 and he road on the front, on the gas tank.
My dad also worked at Harley my entire life, retired from there about 5 years ago, so I guess I grew up with the culture.
I am very picky about who I will ride with and will hop off at a stop light if the rider is unsafe but, for the most part, if I trust the person, I just try to let go and trust.
You have no real control when you're on the back of a bike so absolutely be sure, and able to relax, before you hop on!
If I'm totally honest, I also resign myself to it being a good day to die every time I get on. Not because I mistrust Taylor but because motorcycle accidents are so common these days. People texting and driving, doing their nails and driving, filling out paperwork and driving or just plain driving stupidly tend to run them off the road far more often than I like to think about. I know, every time I get on, this could happen.
Then again, it could happen in a car, too!
Kayla (host): "For the reasons you listed, I don't think I could ever really ride in a motorcycle. I'd love to try the high of it, but it's scary to think about it."
What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?Once, when I was barely legal to go out to clubs, I went to one.
I had just a wee bit too much to drink.
I was walking to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror directly across from me. I talked to myself and waited for myself to move. Of course, myself didn't. So I put a hand on my shoulder to gently make myself aware someone was trying to get by and realized it was... myself... in a mirror... and I was touching glass... and people were snickering.
I was young and easily embarrassed and I LEFT!
Kayla (host): "That sounds hilarious!"
How did you first stumble upon Eden? What were the aspects of the community that made you want to stay for so long and get involved?I got an email from the person who was the review program manager at the time, asking me if I was interested in doing reviews and becoming an affiliate.
I did that for awhile before I even realized there was a community, a forum, other people around to talk to.
Once I did, there was no stopping me! It was simply too fun and I spent too much time here. The rest, as they say, is history!
What has been your favorite sexual experience so far this year?At about 1 am on New Years Day I squirted during anal sex and thanked GODS I had thought to bring the Throe on our holiday getaway!
Is that TMI?
Kayla (host): "Not TMI; just sounds like a lot of fun. That was about a month ago though; you gotta get making more sexy fun."
There seems to be an interesting correlation between motorcycle riders and sex toy users, do you have any idea why this might be (aside from both groups being predisposed to being AWESOME)?I actually never noticed!
I think most of my friends who ride are also friends from our BDSM circle so I never thought much of it. And those who aren't a part of that circle... eh, I guess I never mention adult stuff to them.
Weird! I'll have to pay more attention and give it some more thought.
Off the top of my head, though, I'm thinking riders tend to be sort of free spirit types who are used to being razzed for their attire, looks and choice of transportation and possibly tend to be more open minded about stuff like sex? (Plus, there IS all that boob flashing....)
Kayla (host): "I have never noticed the correlation between sex toy users and motorcycle riders. I think I'll have to pay more attention now. Good hypothesis though, Carrie Ann."
I told you I was asking the most random question ever: What is your favorite brand of cereal?GrapeNuts.
Nom, especially in yogurt!
So, with all the toys that you have and all the toys that you get to review, do you ever get overwhelmed at all the choices? Do you ever forget about certain toys you have and then when you go and use them are surprised by how much you enjoyed the toy you forgot about?I do forget about toys. I also tend to forget that, for the most part, sex toys in general are just awesome and, for most, so much more delightful than always having to do things manually.
Which is a huge part of the problem when reviewers start getting more and more toys, more and more high end toys.
We forget how fucking awesome a simple bullet IS to someone who has never felt one before. Or how great that traditional plastic vibe felt when we had never felt a G-ki.
You know?
I have too many toys and I tend to stick with the same few because of it. It hurts my brain to rummage around thru them all to find something. And then I find myself comparing things to my couple of real favorites and it's really not fair.
It's a shame we can't grown new, fresh eyes and a new, fresh perspective with each toy we try and have it feel new and fresh every time we pick it up again.
I think my goal this weekend will be to pull out some older, neglected items!
Kayla (host): "Great way of looking at it! I remember my first experience with a sex toy."
Okay, as a coffee snob.... If you were stranded on a desert island and could only have one kind of coffee with you, what would it be?Probably something simple -- a Columbian, maybe -- that would taste pretty good even if I had to crush the beans with a rock and boil 'em.
When you get older, do you have a dream for your personal ideal home of some sort? Like, a place to retire to- just you and Taylor.
Ex: Country or city or beach or jungle...? Garden or several closets for toys/clothes? That sorta thing..I want to be those old folks, wandering around the country in an RV, seeing it all!
Kayla (host): "That sounds kinda fun actually. Seeing new sights sounds amazing."
What does it feel like to finally be interviewed? Honestly, I've been waiting to see your picture on the interview page!It feels really weird.
I can't quite figure out why anyone is asking me anything or why they are interested!
I've been sitting here, thinking... stop boring these people to death, Carrie Ann! Say something meaningful or deep or entertaining!
And then I say something like "grapenuts!" and I just shake my head at myself.
Kayla (host): "We all have lots of great questions for you. You're just a wealth of knowledge; I'm excited to have you on interview."
There seems to always be certain topics in religion, politics, or social issues that get people worked up. What issue gets you ranting and fired up?People being mean and not admitting it!
I mean...
I can be a mean old bitch at times and will call people on the stuff they do that irks me, without a doubt. But I try to do it in a direct way.
If I say something mean, I don't hide it or act fake about it.
I get really, really worked up when people say mean things, do mean things and then try to act like they didn't intend to.
Either you meant it to be mean or you didn't give a thought to anyone's feelings but your own -- and I'd really rather have someone just be mean to my face than not think about how I'd feel at all.
That's not really politics or religion or a social issue but it is the single thing that always has me getting up on the soap box and ranting.
Hi Carrie Ann! I HAD to come ask you a question.
I hope this is not too personal but I am curious - I am pretty sure you have been engaged for a while (well, at least a year or two...?) and I am wondering if you and Taylor plan to tie the knot at some point, or if you're just happily seeing where the journey takes you or what?
On a different note, what product helps you stay so cool, so organized and so pretty all at the same time? Because I am looking for new tricksWe've been engaged for 5 or 6 years, I think.
For me, it was the asking that was important, the feeling behind the asking, more so than the doing.
I've been married twice, Taylor three times (I know, right???) and both of us know the ceremony and paper don't make it work out.
I think we will tie the knot eventually but neither one of us are in any rush to do it, either. And if we don't? I'm okay with that, too.
As for the tricks..
I have none! I'm sitting here, hair in every direction, wailing about the lack of work accomplished today with a pounding headache. Not cool, organized or pretty. heh.
Kayla (host): "When you guys get married, I'd love to see pictures."
What do you often eat for your breakfast?Coffee.
I find I can't really eat until I've been up a few hours or I get sick to my stomach.
Kayla (host): "Same here. Breakfast and I rarely get along."
If I take a look inside your refrigerator what would I find?Tomato juice, butter, yogurt, a water filtration pitcher, left over chinese delivery, a can of playdough, a half a vitamin water, and a dried puddle of spilled something or other that needs cleaning.
Plus oranges and apples and cheese and hot dogs and turkey bacon in the bottom drawers, and catsup and dressing and half and half in the door.
Normal stuff.
What did you want to be when you were 12 years old?Teddy K's girlfriend.
Kayla (host): "I am actually way too young to even know who that is."
Are you a keloid former? How do you treat your BDSM scars? Do you hide them from everyone? Show it off? What is the weirdest reaction you got from someone who has seen them?I am very lucky in that I do not scar easily.
We do some pretty intense play at times and pretty much always draw blood in some way but I have very few scars that are not intentional.
I generally treat any wound by cleaning it gently and dressing it with vitamin e oil when I think of it. I'll be frank, though. I'm just a good healer. We rarely think to do aftercare on my marks.
I don't really show them off other than in an appropriate setting with other BDSM participants who will understand them. I'm not ashamed of them in any way but I'm a firm believer in not shoving anything at anyone and forcing them to accept it. I want the world to think BDSM is acceptable and I don't think running around flashing scabby whip marks is the way to do that.
I think the weirdest reaction I've ever had came from my mom. I plain old wasn't thinking and asked her to put lotion on my itchy back about a week after a heavy scene and she noticed the fairly fresh but fading marks.
She lotioned me up then shook her head and said "You guys are really, really weird."
I totally expected her to freak out after I realized what she'd been seeing but she was all calm - which freaked ME out!
Kayla (host): "I think I'd probably have the same reaction in my mother said something like that. It's one of those things that you don't expect your mother to you. Good for you for being responsible with your kink though; no reason to involve people who aren't consenting.."
Does your son know about your involvement in the BDSM sphere? If so, did he find out deliberately or was it accidental? What was his response? If not, do ever plan on telling him?He does, though he has absolutely no details other than the very basics.
He knows Taylor and I have a male dominant relationship and that we enjoy "kinky" stuff like spankings and collars and handcuffs. I've never felt the need to tell him more, just as my parents never really discussed what they did in the bedroom with me or my brothers.
He's cool with it and he understands that some people like to do more extreme things.
Taylor makes BDSM equipment so he was exposed to that before he even knew what it was. He's got a steady hand and likes to help and has frequently aided Taylor in cutting leather.
He had mini floggers for his GI Joe guys.
He's also grown up in a time and place where goth kids and emo kids and skater kids are normal, along with crazy clothes and collars and chains and whatnot. Hip hop videos show girls getting their asses spanked.
Kids of his generation just seem to have a lot less hang ups about that stuff than ever before and that has, without a doubt, helped him feel more okay with what I do.
Kayla (host): "You made me smile. Mini floggers for his GI Joe dolls? Did you ever tell him about that? I think it'd be one of those "You were so cute when you were a kid!" stories."
When I conquer the world, there will be a sex toy called the OmNomNom. What do you think it should look like, and what should the functions be?It should look like an Oreo and it should magically get soft when dunked in liquid and shift in shape to be either a penis sleeve or a dildo!
Kayla (host): "Even just the idea of a sex toy named "OmNomNom" makes me freakin' happy. I want an OmNomNom."
Why do you hate zombie movies so much?They give me a headache and the make up is bad and they're always corny and predictable.
Where does your name come from? Is "Carrie Ann" your full first name? Where'd your parents come up with that?Ahhh.
My name is actually supposed to be spelled Carrie Anne, with an "e".
My parents named me after the Hollies song that was popular a few years before I was born. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgA4-bLcoN8
But the hospital messed up and left the e off the birth certificate so, while the sentiment is the same, the spelling is not. I guess at the time it was unusual and different and they liked it.
It is my full first name, no middle name. Kind of like Mary Beth or Betty Sue or... that sort of thing.
Kayla (host): "Well, it's unique. And it's cute. For some reason, I think your name shows your personality perfectly. Guess your parents did a great job with your name. :)"
I hope this hasn't been asked before (as well as any and all of my other questions), but how many reviews IN ALL have you done? (I'm sure it's a hell of a lot!) Can you remember?I've not actually counted but I think around 400, 425?
Definitely enough to cause periodic burn out, that's for sure!
And when I"m feeling burned out I just refrain from reviewing for awhile. The readers deserve good, fresh reviews and if a reviewer can't write them, if they are starting to sound the same all the time, it's time for a break!
Kayla (host): "That's insane. I think I've done that many too. I know how you feel about burnout. You always write great reviews though."
What do you like best about living in the Midwest? I've lived there and I've found it's either a "love it or hate it" situation.My family is here.
If not for that I would probably - no, definitely! - move somewhere with a much less harsh and a much shorter winter. (Though I do love having four seasons)
Kayla (host): "Midwest winters are terrible. I know how that is. I'm so ready for winter to be over."
Carri Ann how long should I be massaging her G-Spot before I can get her off/make her squirt?? This is something I've been trying to do for a while now but no success! This is just a goal of mine, and it always ends up with her getting aroused and just jumping on top of me and cumming really quickly!Everyone is different but I'd say...
Keep at it and if it happens, it happens but until then, enjoy that she enjoys it so much she gets impatient!
Since you have reviewed so many toys, describe what features your ideal toy would have. (I know cherry scented is a given )Well, it would definitely dispense coffee after I got off! Heh.
Seriously, though, I think my ideal toy would be something that felt like the LoneStar but was shaped like the Ina. Rawr!
Kayla (host): "That's be an interesting toy. I wonder who would make it: LELO or VixenCreations?"
I know you've said before in a few places that after reviewing over 300 toys and other products that you feel a little "burnt out" on toys. I recall recently you mentioned that while you still love receiving packages, you are not always as excited about what's inside. However, I also know that every now and again a toy really thrills you (Lonestar and the Eros recently) and brings you back from the burnt-out place. My question is after so many years at this, what does it take to truly sweep you off your feet?I think the main thing is it has to feel different.
I have so many toys that look different but, once you get so many, they all really just do the same thing.
The LoneStar and Eros both astounded me with how different they felt than anything else I have.
Something has to stand out, provide something nothing else can, I guess.
Kayla (host): "I still think you've gone to the dark side with the Eroscillator. It is unique though; I'll have to give you that. There's not really any other toy on the market that's like that one."
Have you ever had to deal with plagiarism? Either on EdenCafe or someone plagiarizing your blog posts as their own?Not yet on EdenCafe that any of us have detected but I have had to deal with it on my own blog in the form of someone stealing all my personal posts and putting them on their dating site blog!
Flattering, in an odd way but still felt like a theft of a piece of me and I didn't like it one bit!
Kayla (host): "It makes me happy that you've never had an issue with people copying articles. I know I enjoy reading all of the articles on EdenCafe; you do a great job of it."
Have you heard Rihanna's new song "S&M"? As a BDSM practitioner, what do you think of it?I loathe it.
The use of the word affliction bothers me. The cliche phrasing makes me roll my eyes. It's just seems almost like a parody of something that is an important part of my sexuality and... meh. Yuck.
Kayla (host): "I still need to watch it. Your reaction isn't making me any more excited to see it though."
I am a relatively "normal" straight man who has always felt a bit uncomfortable (threatened maybe?) with the idea of using toys in the bedroom; however I am trying to open up a bit as my girlfriend of 5 years wants to kick things up a notch. What would you suggest as a good way to start adding a little more adventure to the bedroom?Some massage candles, a tickler and a bullet vibe. All can be used on each other and the bullet can be used during regular partner sex so it's adding to, not taking away from anything.
Everyone feels included and very, very good to boot. Plus, it's all relatively inexpensive!
Kayla (host): "What a great suggestion. Inexpensive and sexy."
For a long time what people would call "sex work" has been something I was only intellectually behind. I have always believed (and still do believe) strongly in positive reforms in legislation and within the sex industry - but it was not personal to me beyond just having friends involved in it. Now I am dipping my toe in these waters both in real life and on the internet and more and more I see what things need change from a first hand basis as opposed to just from a theoretical stand point.
In your opinion, what (if anything) are the biggest things that need reform and change in the sex work industry: porn, dancing, escort, etc.
Also I, like Tuesday, would like to know the meaning of life if you get a chance to type it all out. Thank you.I could go on and on about this but I"ll try to keep it to the main things that stand out for me.
1. Attitude and perception. The world is so damned fast to judge anyone that does anything remotely sexual for a living and it just plain makes me mad. I know more good people in the sex industry than I know good people in the legal or business worlds. (sorry!)
2. Safety. Just like with motorcycle riding, any time anything risky is done one should take all the safety precautions possible. Not only will it keep you safe but it HELPS CHANGE perceptions if you do all you can to be a safe, responsible person.
3. Marketing. The world is changing and people are realizing that all sorts of looks and types are attractive to them. The sex industry still tends to market hugely toward some "norm" of what is attractive that is supposed to magically turn everyone on and I think change in this area is mandatory!
Kayla (host): "Definitely some good ideas for change. The idea of safety is really important; sometimes I think people aren't nearly as concerned about safety (in all fields of work) as they should be."
What toy(s) that you were excited about has turned out to disappoint you the most? What in particular disappointed you?I think the toy that disappointed me most was the LELO Elise. I wanted it so badly, for so long and then, when I got it, it was so lightweight that I just wanted to cry. It felt insubstantial and hollow and the disappointment was kind of crushing.
I got over it, like it now for what it is instead of heaping my expectations upon it and expecting it to be something with super powers -- but I'll never forget how it felt to want it so desperately and then be so disappointed.
Kayla (host): "That actually sounds like a really sad story. Poor Carrie Ann. I'm glad you've started to see the Elise for what it is though. I remember thinking that the Elise was just freakin' huge."
Now, we've all seen "Batman". The one with the Joker? Right? Does anyone ever ask you the same question the Joker asked of the air about Batman's toys? "Where does he get such wonderful toys?" Well.. not he... you are a she. So change that a bit to make it work!!! LOL!!!Heh. I can't say anyone has ever quite asked me in that way but when they ask, I do say "EdenFantasys"!
Do you speak with your dog?Not like I speak to people, of course, since neither of my dogs can answer me but I do talk to them.
I mean, stuff like "hungry? let's get your doggy chow!" or "want to go outside?" or "SETTLE DOWN you big, unruly mutt!"
Kayla (host): "So cute. I can imagine your dogs being large and attention-seeking sometimes. Not sure why. That's just how I see them being."
My 200th question Carrie, you do so much for Eden. How do you manage family and work and be so organized? A few tips for me, please. Want to learn from the best.It makes me laugh nervously when people call me organized.
I always feel like I'm pulling my hair out and running in circles. It's pretty darn cool though to know the Boss sees me as organized. I must hide my being flustered well!
On a serious note, I do try to be organized and I take to heart a suggestion you gave me early on; I try to log out at a reasonable time and go do "real life stuff" for awhile. Even if I come back and work more I feel more calm and collected if I've taken a break and spent some time with the family and indulged in a little "me" time!
Kayla (host): "Oooh! Even Fred is asking you questions! I always see you as organized too Carrie Ann. Even if you don't see it, you get a LOT of stuff accomplished; it's amazing how much you do."
The Famous roll poll- do you hang the toilet paper over or under?Over over over over OVER!
Kayla (host): "I do over too. I know some people keep it under, and it drives me insane. They say it's to keep the cat from pulling the roll."
Do you have unmet needs? If so, how significant is this issue in your life? Will it motivate you to make drastic changes?I think we all have frustrating, heartbreaking moments when we feel things we need are being neglected. For the most part, it's our own perceptions of needs that is skewed.
I truly cannot say anything I need is lacking in my life -- though there are often times when I can't have things I really want.
You seem to have a bit of a wild streak. Was it something you had since childhood or something that developed over time? Did you sneak out of the house as a teen or were you the booknerd type that discovered yourself later on?Hmmm...
I was - and am still - a bit of both.
I'm quite the homebody hermit most of the time and am actually the least wild of all my friends. I'm like the voice of reason when everyone else is wanting to get crazy.
I do let loose on occasion though and when I do, I really let loose!
Oddly, even those closest to me often shake their heads and have a hard time believing I was such a good girl when i was a teen.
Oh, sure, I snuck out of the house on occasion and skipped school once but they all meet me and immediately think I'm wild and crazy with a drug hazed past and are, I think, actually disappointed to find out I nearly always stuck to my curfew, got good grades and to this day hate to break the rules.
Kayla (host): "Sounds responsible to me. It actually makes me like you even more. I'm that same, boring, rule-adhering person too."
Any special plans for Valentine's Day?
Any special plans for Valentines Day?Nope.
I know the roots and history of Valentine's Day are valid and go back to the end of ever but I cannot look at it, these days, as more than a Hallmark holiday that I just don't have any desire to celebrate.
I'd much prefer a bit of romance just for the hell of it than because someone says this is the day to do it.
Kayla (host): "I agree with you; everyday romance is so much better."
What do you think contributed to your ability to be so open with your sexual side and sex in general? Do you feel like it was a choice you made or ingrained in you within your family? I wish I were more like you in that way. I definitely admire that.I was having phone sex once, a long time ago, with a guy I was in a long distance relationship with. He made me bark.
I think, at that point, something just sort of snapped.
My brain went from "ZOMG, my neighbors probably heard that!!!" to...
Yanno what? Who cares.
For the past 12 years or more I've tried to surround myself with people who understand my sexuality and who are open, themselves, about sexuality. Eventually, you simply begin to feel like everything you do is just fine, is normal, is okay. You stop feeling weird about it, you stop being embarrassed. And when you meet new people, you find that they often feel the need to be more like you rather than trying to make you be more like them. Especially if you don't mash their face in your sexuality.
I don't go running around Walmart, dancing in the aisles and singing "I'm a BDSM freak! I like to get my butt spanked! I like to crawl on the floor!"
For the most part, in my day to day interactions with people, my sexuality doesn't come up at all. I'm just me. People either like me or they don't. When they've become close enough that sex and sexuality and kink and choices might come up, I deal with it the same way I have my son -- I give enough information to appropriately answer questions but I don't force them to accept and acknowledge every kinky thing I do.
I'm just me. I don't want to have my sexuality be some deep, dark secret I'm ashamed of and I've found that by being aware of what others can accept - and not forcing them to accept more - I can be as open as any situation demands and it's all good.
So. Yeah. Some barking turned into an intense feeling of "I do not want to be ashamed anymore" which turned into... not being ashamed anymore. Once you're not embarrassed by what you do and realize being open doesn't mean you have to give every small detail to every one, it's pretty easy to just... be.
Kayla (host): "That's an amazing way of looking at it. I honestly don't think I'd have the ability to bark on the phone; I definitely admire you for your strength in your beliefs too."
What is it about motorcycle rides that you love the most? The fresh air? Clinging onto your partner? The roar of the engine? The thumping of the motor on loins lol?It starts with letting go. Hopping on the back of the bike means giving someone else total control and that, for me, put me in a kind of zone where I give up not only control but stress and worry and tension, too. So from the moment I swing a leg over and settle in, I feel different. Looser and less stressed and more happy.
I love the sun on my face. I love the wind in my hair. I love the smell of motor oil and exhaust and the feel of the heat shimmering up off the road on the hottest days of summer. I love the speed on the straightaways and the feel of leaning into the curves. I love the sweat in the seat of my jeans and the tingle of my chapped lips, the sunburn on my nose and the grit and dirt on my boots. I love to tip my head back and start at the sky, not giving a shit that the wind is tearing thru my hair and making knots I'll have to struggle with later. I love the way my thoughts drift and wander and sometimes completely still. I love the feel of Taylor's hand on my knee. I love the small waves we get from nearly every other rider on the road, love giving them in return. I love stopping for coffee and the feel of stretching my legs. I love riding straight thru until night falls when the scents change and my world narrows to me and him and the road and the wind and the stars.
There is a lot to love and I cannot name a single thing that I love the most. For me it is a whole that I love, not a part of it.
Did you know that I loooooooove your review videos? Everytime I see one I think "Oh this product must be good, Carrie Ann has done a review on it" I really like how a lot of them are comparisons of really similar products. Have you ever considered launching a seperate sort of review just for comparisons of all the different toys out there? Similar to the automatic comparison on the website already, but with actual people saying what makes them unique and what makes them similar.We have discussed it many times but, in the end, comparisons are very, very subjective which makes finding a way to implement any sort of official comparison program difficult at best.
Kayla (host): "Yeah. It'd be really hard. You do a great job of comparing products though; I love your video reviews for that reason."
How do you feel about gun use, and would you use a gun yourself? Do you have any guns?I believe in the right to bear arms.
I also believe in my right to be terrified of them and not touch them.
Nope, no guns in my bedside drawer.
Kayla (host): "Terrified sounds like the best way to be (at least for me). Hopefully you don't live in an area where you have to consider the use of guns on a regular basis."
Whats your favorite method to let Taylor know your 'in the mood'? Are you blunt and say some variation of 'Do me' or 'lets go to bed', or do you have a ritual or signal that he just understands and responds to now that you've been together so long?Usually just snuggling up and touching him is all it takes but, occasionally, one of us will say "hey, wanna fuck?" or "wanna quickie?" -- which is usually a signal that we're not looking for a bunch of foreplay and a long session but just a... well, a quickie.
Kayla (host): "Sounds like a fun way to do things. Foreplay is good, but quickies can be fun too."
I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, but I consider you to be a person that has a strong opinion and you're not afraid to express it. That is certainly a trait that I admire. My question, have you ever had a major disagreement with a decision made by EF and how did you resolve it?I have been very fortunate in that there has never been anything major that I've disagreed with in my time at EF.
I'm also lucky in that my bosses tend to encourage me to speak openly and honestly about how I feel and my feelings absolutely are taken into consideration when we're making changes.
I don't always get my way but I do get to speak my mind.
Kayla (host): "I love how open the structure is here at EF; it's great to be able to speak your mind. I agree with Kindred though; I do see you as someone who has a strong opinion. That's a good thing in my book."
What is the number one item on your 'bucket list' that you have not yet accomplished?A cross country motorcycle trip with no time limit, no schedule and enough funds that we could alternate between camping out and staying at luxury hotels as the mood stuck us.
Would you rather spend 7 years in a bright red latex catsuit (a la Britney Spears "hit me baby one more time"), not allowed to put other clothes on top of it or cover it up...
spend 7 days wearing a homeless man's clothing which were shat in (not being able to bathe)?
Think carefully. Many friends have argued over this one.I have no imagination. Truly.
All I can think as I read that is...
Who the hell is going to make me do either?
Kayla (host): "Iunno. Maybe you get a million dollars if you do one of them?"
I have upteen zillion cats running around. My favourite cat moments are the ones in which they are decidedly un-catlike and un-graceful. What are your favourite cat moments?I like when cats to typical "cute kitty stuff".
I guess when they're playful and entertaining themselves with typical, rolly polly cat things it amuses me to no end.
Kayla (host): "Same here. The fact that cats are so amused by silly things makes me smile. Sometimes I feel like it's their evil plan to amuse us humans."
What kinks of yours do you find very difficult to confess to?I have a huge hard on for consensual non consent and, while I can easily talk about it, I rarely do.
Everyone wants to think they're kinky cool and that they walk the line but tend to throw out terms like "sex negative" and "abuse" when someone walks a little over the lines they've drawn for themselves.
I don't like anyone else drawing my lines so I tend to keep a bit more quiet about the really intense stuff I find fun.
Your relationship dynamic may be seen by some as "traditional." (Man is the Man, he works, takes care of what is his, you help, nurture, do the laundry, cooking, housework, child rearing ect.) My Man and I have a very similar agreement, and I get flack for it all the time, I'm told, ."It's sexist." "Well, our relationship is 50/50!" and the worst, "You're being abused and used and don't realize it." IMO, these people have their minds closed and their noses in my business. As well as pushing their view of "what a relationship should be" into our personal well thought out dynamic.
How do you handle those who attempt to force you into a 2nd Wave box that you clearly don't want to live in? (Aside from, of course, beating them with a cherry scented dong. Which, by the way, I may have to get to deal with these people myself.)
Mostly I surround myself with people who "get it" and have little time for those who don't.
It probably sounds harsh but people do not get to tell me how to live or how to be happy and those who try tend to be quickly cut out of my life.
That being said, I am very, very lucky. My family "gets it". My parents have a very traditional marriage (though they're not at all kinky, it's just an actual, product of the 50s traditional marriage) and the dynamic Taylor and I have mimics that.
Having been divorced twice, I pretty much left behind all the friends I had thru my younger years. I started over and surround myself with accepting people.
It probably wouldn't be so easy if I had to try to convince old friends I didn't want to lose!
Kayla (host): "Sounds like you have a great support system. It's great that the people you care about understand the two of you."
If you could create technological development in sex toys that doesn't exist yet, what would it be, and why?I want a clit vibe that is soft and squishy.
I want the Mia or Nea or Siri or MiMi or bCurious or Layaspot to be SOFT and SQUISHY and still retain direct, strong vibrations that are focused on a small area.
Why has no one done this yet? Why, why, why?
Kayla (host): "Maybe it's hard to get clitoral vibes to transfer vibrations well when something is squishy. There are some insertive toys that are really squishy and such, but I can't think of a single clitoral toy that's so squishy."
Is there a particular brand of philosophy you embrace when it comes to sex? Be it your own, a pioneer's, or cultural ideal.Sex is fluid and constantly changing. I guess the only philosophy I embrace is to enjoy it for what it is, right this minute, without expectations that it be something else.
Enjoy the quickie, the leisurely love making, even the times when you don't get off. Just enjoy them for what they are, every time.
What do you tell people you do for a living? Particularly vanilla people or strangers? Are you out to most everyone as a sex-writer or sex-blogger? Why or why not?I am out pretty much everywhere -- though I do not share links with my family. Mostly because they don't really want the details and it would be awkward for them to be that close up and personal with my kinks and actual sex acts.
They know what I do and are okay with it but don't want specifics. (Which is good, cuz I don't really want specifics from them either. Heh)
When people ask me what I do for a living I generally say "I'm the blog content and blogger relations manager for EdenFantasys. Social media, editing, that sort of thing" Very few people, just meeting me, really ask for any more than that. I mean, if someone tells me they work for Walmart, I don't generally ask them if they stock shelves or run a register. I guess it's the same thing.
I rarely mention my blog as something I do for a living just because... eh... it's not. Never has been. My personal blog is just that... my personal babbling and not at all a business.
Kayla (host): "I think I'm one of those weirdos that would say "Oh, so what do you do at Wal-Mart?" I'm curious like that. I'm a bit different with my blog; it's personal, but I do consider it more of a "business" since I spend so much time doing it."
What would you say is the hardest part of writing reviews or doing the video reviews?For me it's keeping them interesting and different after doing so many. They all, eventually, start to sound the same and it's difficult to keep them fresh.
It's hard to even realize it's happening. Generally, I read other people's reviews and see it happening to them and that, in turn, makes me take a harder and closer look at my own and work to keep them fresh.
Kayla (host): "After you've owned and reviewed so many toys, I always find it amazing that your reviews are always so interesting to read. You do a great job on them!"
Maybe this has been asked before... but if all the sex toys in the world were destroyed and you could only have ONE.. what would it be?I know it's not a sex toy but...
I can turn things into sex toys and can use my fingers but I can't live without lube!
Kayla (host): "Lube is pretty amazing. Sometimes I wonder how I survived without it before I realized it was "okay" to use."
What do u do when you lose your passion for something?I stop doing it, if I can, until I feel rekindled.
Or I muscle thru and try to find new ways to make it exciting again.
If you didnt have to work what would you do?I would...
Take care of my family and my pets and writing in my blog all the live long day.
Or, if I had oodles of money, I'd do all that and travel, too!
Kayla (host): "I wonder where you'd travel to. Taking care of pets would be a full-time job."
What makes you laugh?Taylor.
It is the thing I love about him most.
I don't laugh easily. I smile a lot but it's pretty rare that I burst into out loud laughter.
He can always make me laugh, often until my sides hurt and tears run down my face.
Kayla (host): "Awww. So cute!"
What is your weirdest relative like?I haven't seen her in 20 years but I have this cousin who one time pretended to be a horse for like 4 months.
She galloped everywhere and ate under the table and wouldn't talk.
It was... freaky weird.
Kayla (host): "I'm curious how old this cousin was. I mean, it's weird if they're like...30, but if they're four, it's kinda normal. Sorta."
Who are your heroes?My mom. She is the most incredible person ever.
What is a emo kid? is it emotional?Yup. I have no idea who made it up but seems to me it should be "depressed" not "emo"
Kayla (host): "I'm not sure where "emo" kid came from. I find it a demeaning statement really. Ick."
Whats your favorite snack?Nuts, but my tummy doesn't like them as much as my mouth does these days so I rarely get to eat them.
I also like hot pretzels. Nom!
Kayla (host): "I don't think I've ever had a hot pretzel. I've never liked nuts either. At least nuts come in neat varieties; can never get tired of nuts."
You said earlier that you've given away probably half of your toys... Do you ever give one away and regret it later? If so, what toy do you regret giving away most (or which one did you give away and then have to purchase again because you miss it too much?)Yes. I gave away my G-ki and still regret it! I haven't purchased a new one but I will, eventually!
Kayla (host): "I don't know if I'd miss my G-Ki. You should get on purchasing that. I kinda regret giving away my Form 3 though; just since I can't say I own it now."
We know you buy your sex toys online , what about the rest of your purchasing? Is shopping something that must be endured, or would you go into shock without a weekly mall fix?I like to shop but I don't really like malls. I'd rather wander around smaller stores and am a sucker for Target. They have make up and clothes AND coffee and pens and mugs and stuff!
Kayla (host): "Target is a neat one. I really like K_mart though. Our K-Mart is sad and abandoned, so it's fun to adventure there. I really can't find any good clothing though; it's sad."
I noticed you say "beat with a (sex toy)" frequently. Is there an order of toys that represent how badly you want to beat them or just toys at random?Heh. It's totally random and is normally a cherry scented jelly dong -- just because I can visualize it so well!
Do you feel famous with so many people on this site looking up to you and knowing who you are?Nah.
It's actually one of my biggest pet peeves, when reviewers and bloggers start acting all famous and calling themselves celebs.
It's just so arrogant and far fetched and.... well, ridiculous!
Kayla (host): "I'm a celebrity. C'mon, I'm number #2! You owe me all sorts of respect. :P"
If your life had a soundtrack, what would be the song playing in your life right now?You know those infomercials for CD sets, compilations from like the 80s hair bands or whatever?
That's my sound track. Bits and pieces of songs that never play all the way through....
Kayla (host): "Bits and pieces are always fun to listen to. It makes it easy to find some good songs to find the full tracks for."
I also met my partner in a yahoo chat room. Which room did you meet in? I met my partner in the Uptown Lobby.Ha. People are going to be like WTF?????
"The Rape Room" back in 1998 when user created adult rooms were still allowed.
Kayla (host): "You're right. I'm a bit confused. :P I hope you don't tell that as the "family" story."
Have you ever purchased a toy for yourself just to realize... You've already gotten it and reviewed it?
(And I can't believe you think you'd not get a lot of questions, I have heaps and heaps of things I'm dying to ask you.)
Surprisingly, I have not!
Or maybe not so surprisingly. I guess my memory is pretty good that way. I don't think I've ever even looked at a sex toy and forgotten I'd already tried it.
I have gotten things that I didn't realize would be so similar to other things I already have, though.
Kayla (host): "I haven't done that either. It's surprisingly easy to look at a toy and remember you've tried it. Or maybe we're just weirdos like that. :)"
We know you have quite the toy collection.
Do you collect anything else?I do!
I collect pens and coffee cups and lip balm and candles -- though they all get used and are less of a collection than an obsession. I can barely walk out of a store without buying at least one of the four.
Kayla (host): "Pens? That's kinda neat. I did not know that; I'd imagine coffee cups would take up more room than pens."
Do you ever have problems with your pets unrolling the roll of toilet paper?Nope. We keep the bathroom door closed because it horrifies me to think of them drinking out of the toilet -- so they can't get to the toilet tissue to mess with it!
Kayla (host): "I wouldn't like to think about pets drinking out of the toilet either. No toilet paper though."
If someone wants to become more familiar with the social media world what would you recommend they do outside of taking a course (money is tight here)?Google!
You can learn so much just spending a few weeks on google, reading all the different opinions and options and advice.
Kayla (host): "Google is amazing! I wouldn't think to recommend it for social media though; great idea!"
How often do you find that your education background coming into play when writting or doing a video on your reviews? Does it help you in choosing which products you will try?Eh...
I guess it does come into play in that I'll instinctively warn people about medical issues and hazards with a toy but not heavily. It's second nature more than deliberate.
You have tried many toys and reviewed a lot of items. Is there one you haven't tried yet, that you would like? One that's been on your list but you haven't gotten to yet?A fucking machine.
Kayla (host): "I agree; that's be an amazing thing to try."
Do (did) you have body image issues? How do (did) you cope with / resolve it?
(I'm not sure why I'm asking this. HA You are a BEAUTIFUL woman. )Gods, yes.
I dislike the wrinkles I'm getting and hate my weight and feel like an awkward, bumbling elephant in a room full of gazelles most times. At the same time, I'm not super concerned with being liked by everyone so the issues are my own, internal ones. I don't really care what he or she or they think, which makes it easier to deal with my issues.
I don't project them on others and try not to react as if others feel the same way about me as I do.
Does that make any sense?
Kayla (host): "It makes perfect sense. You don't need to worry about it though; you look gorgeous!"
If anything in your wildest imaginings were possible, what sex toy would you design for yourself?A toy that turned my thoughts into action, no actual toy needed.
So if I was thinking about vibrations on my clit, it would automatically feel like there were vibrations on my clit. And so on and so forth.
Magic stuff!
Kayla (host): "Maybe with training, it'd be possible to do something like that because of the brain. Hmm. Pavlov's training all over again?"
If you were an animal what kind of animal would you be? Why?An animal that drinks coffee!
Actually, I have no idea. I really don't have an animal I relate to at all as having the same traits I do.
Probably something that hibernates in the winter...
Kayla (host): "So like..a bear? I don't think I see you as much of a bear though."
Have you done any ventures into the creative writing side of things?Rarely.
I used to write little stories for my son when he was young but creative writing isn't my strong suit.
I always say I'm not a writer, I'm a talker.
Kayla (host): "Maybe you could become a storyteller? That's the oral story. That seems more suited to your talents."
As a reviewer and blogger, what has been your biggest struggle to overcome in being successful and getting your work done?Work is totally separate, for me, than reviewing and blogging so I'm not sure how to answer.
When it comes to reviews and blogging, I don't let it stress me out. I don't struggle with either. If I am in a slump, I am okay with that. If I'm active, I'm okay with that. I try to make sure it's always enjoyable to me and never something I have to struggle with. If I'm struggling, it's time for a break.
Kayla (host): "It seems to pay off for you too; you always have well-written reviews."
If I give you one million dollars how would you spend it?I would pay off my parent's mortgage, buy a home of my own, buy Taylor the biggest, baddest bike I could find and put the rest in the bank.
Kayla (host): "I wonder how much taxes would end up being. Still sounds like a lot of money to spend though. I'm sure you could find a pretty amazing bike."
If you were to part ways with Eden Fantasies, what type of job would you take? Or would you use some of your degrees for your next profession?I would probably go back into psych work...
Or maybe back to school.
Kayla (host): "You should do Psych work. It's actually some pretty interesting stuff. I think you'd like it."
This is a random question, but I am taking a journalism class and have had to do a few interviews. One of my favorite questions is what are your biggest pet peeves? So what are yours?My biggest pet peeve is, I think, when people turn shit into a competition that I don't want to participate in.
When they need to make you feel less than in order for them to feel good.
Needy people that need me (or comparisons with me) to make them feel good instead of feeling good about themselves.
And greed. And the sense of entitlement so prevalent today. And people who are mean and talk about people either behind their back or passive aggressively but don't have the balls to say things face to face. And...
I'm kind of bitchy. I have a lot of pet peeves.
Also, socks left on the floor. I do not like picking up someone else's sweaty (or sweat hardened!) socks.
Kayla (host): "Ewww. Sweat-hardened socks? I can't say that I blame you. I wouldn't want to do that either!"
If you were a god what would you do to the world?Give it a time out.
What is your favorite time-period in history?I don't know if I can pick a favorite but I think I'd like to have been alive in the 1940s.
Kayla (host): "The 1940s actually does sound like a neat time period. I honestly don't know too much about it though."
Which super power do you like to have and why?I would like to have a magic lasso and golden bracelets...
What turns an okay review or blog into a terrific one?Personality!
I like to see the person behind the writing shine through it, to feel like I know them, have touched a small part of them.
At the same time, I'm finding as I grow older, that meanness can make a good blog or review horrible.
Being snarky and sarcastic is so common right now and, to me, it makes good writing - and probably good people - ugly.
Kayla (host): "I admit that I'm guilty of being snarky sometimes. I try to avoid it though. I agree though; snarkiness can really ruin an otherwise good review."
How did blogging lead to performing in quicksand fetish videos? And uh, what exactly is a quicksand fetish video?Actually, they happened at the same time and were unrelated to each other in regards to cause/effect.
I started blogging because I had a lot going on in my life. My relationship was a couple years old, we were becoming very active in the local BDSM community, I was starting to do the quicksand videos and I realized I needed an outlet, somewhere I could babble about all the stuff filling up my head.
A quicksand/mud fetish video is...
There are many different types, really. Lots of people have "messy" fetishes and mud wrestling type fetishes and some of the films are like that. Women rolling around in clay and mud, acting sex and getting messy.
Then some folks have damsel in distress fetishes and genuine quicksand fetishes. Like, old movies with their common quicksand scenes turn their crank.
I can't say that I really "get" it... it's not my thing at all. But, hell, a lot of people don't get why I like to be spat on.
A friend of ours and his wife had been doing these films for another company for a few years and wanted to start doing their own. They asked me if I'd consider doing it and I refused for awhile but finally caved when they offered more money than I could turn down.
ARGH! I guess I have a price, eh?
And so they set up their own company and I went along for the ride, doing films for them for 4 or 5 years. Mostly damsel in distress type stuff that entailed "sinking" in clay and peat pits and a lot of bad acting. It was a lot of fun and a lot, lot, lot of hard work.
I'm glad I did it. I made some great friends and learned a lot and had a blast but am, at the same time, glad I've stopped doing it. It's physically pretty demanding and I'm not sure I have it in me anymore.
Kayla (host): "That was an interesting video to watch. I did not know that people had a fetish for quicksand. The things you learn, right? It made me giggle to see you stuck in the mud. I'm curious how those quicksand videos were produced now though."
How much time do you ACTUALLY spend on the internet?TOO much! Probably in excess of 12 hours per day.
Kayla (host): "Wow! You even have me beat! About 8 or 9 hours a day of those are probably work-related though."
Have you ever run into someone who recognized you from your blog or EF, that you didn't know from Adam?Nope. At least, not that they've said anything!
Kayla (host): "I think that'd be interesting. I wonder who lives around you?"
What is the worst reaction you have ever gotten from someone after talking about what you do?I really, really hate it when I talk to my friends about my job and they make comments like "I'd like to get paid to play with sex toys all day!"
It's demeaning and it invalidates the jobs I actually do and makes me feel like they aren't really listening or paying attention to me, as if they truly believe that is all I do.
Makes me want to say, "Oh yeah? Well, I'd like to have a job as easy as answering a phone all day so there!"
Kayla (host): "Haha. I don't know if it's intentional ignorance; most people just can't even imagine what a job like yours would consist of."
Hi Carrie Ann! I think my question might be an easy one! What tips do you have for someone or a cpl who are just getting into BDSM and what things to try or not try? Oh and if there are any good books on the subject???Figure out what turns your crank, what makes your dick hard or your pussy twitch and give it a shot.
If it doesn't do anything for you, don't try it.
There are no set things you have to do, no set things everyone does.
Start slow, be informed, try what you want and avoid things that make you feel icky.
What kind of new features would you like to see on Eden?Something that showed sound levels on toys in real time. Like an audio file for each product!
Kayla (host): "That'd be amazing! I think it'd be hard to apply to day-to-day life though in a reality type of way though."
You mentioned in another question above "I do not recommend being a pain in the ass on the forum as a way to get ahead!"
What then would you recommend as a way to get ahead?Participate. Be giving. Don't be competitive. Don't be greedy. Don't be a know it all. Be kind.
It's the same as anywhere, really.
Treat people like you want to be treated.
Do you have a favorite color when it comes to sex toys? or is your collection a mixed bag of colors? I have a lot of pink toysI have a weakness for orange toys.
Most of my toys are pink, though -- mostly because it's the most common color they're made in besides purple and I hate purple with all my heart so, given the choice, I choose pink.
Kayla (host): "Orange toys are so few and far between. The only one that comes to mind is the Sugar Drop."
How did you get into BDSM? How old were you when you started? What got you hooked on it?
Was your husband into BDSM too? What is BDSMs role in your current and past relationships? (I apologize if I'm waking old demons.)I've been kind of kinky all my life, though I didn't have a definition for it all until I was around 20. I guess I've always been hooked.
Neither of my exes were into anything really kinky or BDSM -- which is probably a large part of why things didn't work out!
Kayla (host): "It's surprising how important sexual compatibility and kinks are to a relationship. It's good you found someone who you work with now. :)"
What would you consider to be your proudest moment as a person?
I want to bar your son and raising him from this question, because I've read how insanely proud you are of him alreadyWhen I was a young teenager I used to spin a rifle in a baton and drum corps.
We went to world championships and I took home a whole bunch of gold medals, including for a solo performance. That? Was pretty cool.
Kayla (host): "I used to spin baton when I was in high school! It's not really popular to do anymore though. It's sad; it was a fun activity."
That is awful that someone took your personal post from your blogs and used them as their own. What did you do and what precautions are you taking now to prevent this from happening again?There isn't much anyone can do, really.
I google search a few times a year and contact anyone who has used my content without permission but, beyond that...
Eh. I let it slide.
Kayla (host): "It'd be expensive to do anything legally about it. It's surprising how much it would cost to fight to get your content removed."
If you could not work for EF where would you like to be doing/working on ?If I could do anything in the world I wanted I'd probably open a coffee shop.
Kayla (host): "I bet it would have some pretty amazing coffee too."
What's your favorite band/singer, what's your favorite album, and what's your favorite song?My favorite song, ever, is Drift Away by Dobie Gray. Or maybe Believe by Brooks and Dunn. Or Something in the Way she Moves by James Taylor. Or 3 AM by Matchbox 20. Or...
I can't answer. It changes every time I hear a song I love. Or a band I love. Or a singer I love.
I do have to say most of my favorites are older songs, though, that bring back memories of long ago.
What (or who, I suppose) is your biggest motivation?Fear of failure and making people unhappy.
I don't mind pissing people off if it's intentional or over something I believe in but, for the most part, it really bothers me to make people unhappy or to fail at something.
Kayla (host): "I feel the same way; I wouldn't want to be unhappy, and as such, I don't want to make other people unhappy either. I didn't see that as being a motivation for you though; it's neat the things I'm learning through interview."
What are your favorite ways to relax? Are there different levels of relaxation and what is the highest? Maybe a bubble bath?A bubble bath, indeed.
Locked door, mellow music, a glass of cold, crisp, sweet white wine, a ton of bubbles and good smelling stuff and the hottest water I can stand.
Or just a good book and a soft blanket or snuggles with my guys works, too.
Kayla (host): "Bubble baths can be fun. The boyfriend likes them. I actually hate them; pruny fingers are just plain evil. I'm all for the good book and soft blanket though. Sounds like an amazing way to relax."
What is your biggest hope for your son as he gets ready to strike out on his own?Happiness, even when the road gets rough.
Kayla (host): "That's definitely a very admirable goal."
Congrats on quitting smoking! Considering the ongoing debate about the negative effects of coffee, I was wondering if you've ever tried to cut down on your intake and how that went for you. I've never really been able to drink the stuff, but I have a lot of friends who can't live without it.Oddly enough, my coffee consumption has gone down along with stopping smoking.
It's still way above normal for most folks but much less than it used to be. Which is good! It's my intention to try to get down to a normal level for a normal human (or at least switch to decaf) within the next year.
I'm getting too old for so much bad stuff in my body!
Kayla (host): "It's true; caffeine in such high amounts can't be good for you. I'm glad you're not smoking anymore either; we need you around for as long as possible."
How do you and Taylor handle conflict in your relationship? (Do you face it head-on, avoid it, yell, talk, compromise?)A little bit of everything, really.
We rarely yell but we bicker back and forth and speak strongly. Sometimes we avoid things if we need time to cool off and don't want to say hurtful things. We do a lot of talking, for sure.
No real set ways, I guess. We just work at it. All you really can do.
How is your current relationship with your parents like?Good. Great, really.
Like most people, things were a wee bit rocky when I was a snotty teenage girl who knew it all but, these days? Things are awesome. My mom is my best friend and my biggest hero and my dad... well, he's just my dad and we love each other dearly, though we don't actually say all that much to each other. He's not a big gabber.
Kayla (host): "That's so good! It makes me hopeful for my future relationship with my parents. At least your son has a good role model in that aspect."
I love reading your reviews and watching your videos. You're awesome. My question is what do you do with it all??
Do you keep the ones you're not into or throw it away (recycle)? Have you re-gifted anything, if so what? Where do you store it all?
I just can't imagine doing all of those reviews and keeping up with it all.I have traded some stuff with other reviewers, given some to friends, to my mom, tossed some bad old stuff away...
Mostly, I just store stuff neatly away, though. I have mad storage for things (I mentioned how I store in another answer) and keep it all pretty organized.
Even cords are wrapped up neatly and placed in their own bag!
Kayla (host): "The cords would probably make the biggest mess. I think I need to steal your storage secrets though; my storage for my toys looks like a mess sometimes."
What do you do to really indulge and pamper yourself after a rough day?Turn the computer completely off, run a hot bath, have a glass of wine, grab my book and go "lalalalalalalalala I can't hearrrrrrrr you" when anyone tries to talk to me.
What was your most embarrasing sex toy experience?I can't think of one, honestly but you should ask Laurel sometime about the flying buttplug....
Kayla (host): "Too bad Laurel's not on interview. Now I want to ask her."
There's a billion different lubes out there, which ones are your favourites?I like Fun Factory's toy fluid, Better Sex Essentials silicone lube and Liquid Silk best, I think.
Also, System Jo and Shunga's flavored lubes are excellent.
Kayla (host): "I'm still addicted to our "Wet" lube. Not sure why, but it seems to work best for us. I liked FunFactory's Toy Fluid too. Flavored lubes make me happy too."
What is your favorite sex position?I'm probably boring but... missionary with my hips lifted on the Liberator Wedge.
Rawr! Hello, g-spot!
Kayla (host): "Totally agreed. The Wedge is amazing."
Tell us, honestly, how does it feel to have gotten 260+ questions so far? (Ahem, I *am* remembering you saying you'd only get 4 or 5 questions when I told you that you were our next interviewee... and I did say you'd get tons... so I am super curious!)It feels weird.
I know it sounds ridiculous but I keep blinking at my screen, watching new questions come in and thinking...
Why do these people want to know this stuff? I am SO boring! Heh.
I am definitely astounded and feeling a little bit blushy over it all.
Kayla (host): "You shouldn't be; you're amazing, and we all want to know more!"
Confess: what is your biggest guilty pleasure! (Is it chick flicks? Air guitar in your socks? Britney Spears' debut album?)I read... romance novels. Big, fat, sappy bodice rippers.
Kayla (host): "I didn't picture you as a romance reader. That's so cute! :)"
Do you like g-spot vibes or clitoral vibes better? I have noticed recently that I have more clit vibes than anything else. I was curious which you prefer.I prefer dildos for g-spot stimulation and vibes for clitoral. For me, vibrations on my g-spot just don't do much.
As for which I have more of...
Dildos for g-spot stim, for sure.
Kayla (host): "One of those random facts to know. You could always just purchase g-spot vibrators and not turn on the vibrations. Two for the price of one."
(Sorry about the double question above, I don't know why it did that... *scowl*) Have you ever been on a vacation? If so, which vacation has been your favorite and why?I went to Florida with my aunt and uncle and my horsey cousin the summer I was 12. It was horrible. Walking around sea word and disney with a girl who neighed all day long was enough to make me insane.
I went to Cancun with friends the year I was 21. It was a blast.
But my favorite vacations are camping trips, for sure.
Kayla (host): "A girl who neighed all day? That would be ridiculously frustrating. Cancun sounds fun though."
If you could do anything for one day, besides the things you do for Eden, what job would you do?I would....
I think having the job of Princess of Imaginary Land would be most excellent. I would lounge around drinking coffee while my servants waited on me and my parents made all the executive decisions about our kingdom.
That would be a good job.
Kayla (host): "A job? Really now? Doesn't sound like any job I know. Sounds like a pretty neat "job" though. I think I'd like that too."
Do you still make money off your Clips4Sale account? Do you sometimes feel like removing the clips?Heh. Yeah, we still get the odd and random check from them I'm not expecting.
I've really never considered taking them down. We stopped doing them for many reasons but I'm pretty sincere when I say I have no regrets and those are a part of me and us and how we've grown so... I'm not embarrassed about them nor do I feel the need to yank them.
If things were a bit different, we'd probably still make them.
Kayla (host): "A random check for stuff you did awhile ago? Sounds pretty awesome to me. It's actually really unique to see those videos; they were before you even had pink hair! (You were pretty with brown hair too.)"
If I'm mixing drinks, what'll you have?A corona with lemon, please.
And keep 'em comin'!
What is your guilty pleasure when it comes to junk food snacks? Would you opt for salty or sweet? And what snacks in particular?I like both!
I much prefer salty snacks but there is nothing better than having a few pieces of something sweet and a handful of something salty and nibbling on them both.
Like a couple cookies and a bag of dill pickle chips. Mmmmm.
Kayla (host): "I will not even pretend like that sounds appetizing to me."
Do you like men to wear cologne? if so what kind of scent do you like?Not much of a cologne fan, though I do love the Woodland for him body spray from bath and body works. Mmmm. So nice.
Seriously? What the hell kind of face cream do you use.... because you do not look 41!Heh.
Whatever kind I happen to buy.
I do use the Oil Method of cleansing (easily found via google. I use grapeseed and castor oil) a few times a week and I always wear sunscreen. I also use grapeseed oil as eye cream.
And thanks!
Kayla (host): "I agree. You look so much younger. I've never heard of this Oil Method, but apparently, it might be worth checking out."
I have been sending in submissions now and then and I know the topics are random lol, I can only imagine the kinds of submissions you read on a daily basis. What is the strangest or most off the wall topic you've seen so far? I wouldn't be surprised if it was one of mine lol.Well, there was that time someone sent in the bug erotica...
I just had to... run screaming thru the halls of my home.
But mostly I get pretty on topic, normal stuff. I really do!
Kayla (host): "Bug?...erotica? Is that how it sounds? You know what? I just really don't want to know."
Oh great Carrie Ann, what will happen to your vast collection of toys when you're gone? Will your children/grand-children inherit them? Will there be a museum (Musée de Carrie Ann)?Someone is going to inherit my Eleven, for sure.
Chances are all the vibes will be dead by then. They only last so long, yanno? Even the best of them.
But the gorgeous wood and metal and glass will be willed to someone.
Just not sure who yet.
I may have a "who can be the nicest" day this summer to determine who wants them most. Heh.
Kayla (host): "I wonder what your lawyer would think when willing that out to someone. "And her sex toys go to..." Bet that'd be a new experience for the lawyer. I think I'd probably giggle if I had to do that."
What makes a review really stand out to you? What makes a reviewer stand out?For me, a review really stands out when it has all the relevant info but still manages to come across as a good read with a lot of personality shining thru. I want to not only have a picture of the product in my head but I want to come across with an honest reaction, set of feelings and idea of how it felt.
A reviewer stands out, to me, when they do this consistently, when I begin to feel like I know them a bit more with each review, not just some stats and specs on the stuff they were sent.
Kayla (host): "I agree; there are so many stats reviews out there, but it's good to get some personality in them. You always write some great reviews too, so you are a pretty good example to follow."
Who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong?Wha?
What are sex toys for you? Are they more of a "couples" thing, or is it more for masturbation use? Do you regularly have sex without them? How does Taylor feel about your toys? Is he regularly telling you to keep them more tidy or does he just accept that they will take over?Sex toys are little extra bonuses that help me get off when I don't want to stick to just my fingers or straight sex.
They can be a couples thing, for sure, though I tend to use most of my toys solo other than plugs and dildos we use to simulate DP. We probably use sex toys during actual sex... hmmm.... 15% of the time? (Unless you count the Wedge, then we're up there at almost 100%)
Taylor doesn't mind my toys in the least. I always make sure he's stocked up on his favorites, too. And his are most likely to take over since he has no designated storage for them beyond tucking them in drawers.
I? I have mad storage. I? Am obsessive compulsive. My stuff is neat, tidy and put away.
Kayla (host): "Huh. I would have guessed your sex toy use would have been more than 15%. Especially with your large amount of toys. (I know how you feel about the Wedge; the Wedge is my favorite "toy" ever.)"
With all of the coffee you drink, do you even get the caffeine effects anymore? I know I don't get it from soda anymore.Not so that I notice, other than the first couple cups of the day.
After that, I just get a headache if I don't have enough.
Kayla (host): "That's an addiction you know. Maybe time to cut back a bit?"
What is your currently "most anticipated" toy that you haven't tried yet?There is actually nothing on my wish list that really stands out as something I've just gotta have.
I think I'm in a burned out phase! I don't want stuff just to hoard, just to have this huge collection. I want stuff I truly love and will truly enjoy and use a lot.
I'm waiting for us to get in some bigger Liberator gear! Now that stuff I LUST over.
Kayla (host): "The Liberator gear will definitely be something I'd buy. Especially if there was the Esse or that bondage bed they carry; those would be on my wishlist so fast!"
Which Community Interview did you learn the most from (other than this one)?The one I remember most clearly and enjoyed the most was the one with Xhale.
I love those guys and love their glass more than twenty chocolate cakes. Truly wish we carried more. People cannot fathom the difference in one glass vs another until they have held a piece of Xhale art.
Kayla (host): "I...don't own a single piece of XHale? I think this must be rectified. Now I need to go back and read the XHale interview too; I don't remember much about it."
Do you have a pet peeve when it comes to EF and its reviews?YES.
While I believe cleaning info and safety info and material info are important I do not think they, along with some size stats, make a review.
I wish people would lighten up a bit and inject some creative writing, personality and emotion into their reviews.
Fully 80% of them bore me to tears, my own included.
I want to see them be informative but FUN to read.
We're selling sex not peanuts.
Kayla (host): "Peanuts? I wonder if there are bloggers out there who write peanut reviews. There must be at least one. Right? (I will not search nor link to it just because I wouldn't want the peanut blogger to look at their Google Analytics and be like "What in the world am I getting traffic from a sex toy site for?")"
When giving a close friend a gift for her bachelorette party, what naughty gift would you choose and why?I would make a basket with some tenga cups and a MiMi and some massage candles and a DVD and a book.
I thing gag gifts are a waste of money but would love to set up a new couple for some hot nights, be it together when they're in the mood or apart when they want some solo time.
Kayla (host): "That sounds like a pretty neat idea actually. You always come up with some great stuff."
This has to be a lot of fun... is this the best job you've ever had?It is, absolutely.
It's challenging and hard some days but we really are a great team and we all work together very well. I love it here!
Kayla (host): "Glad to hear you like the job! Makes me excited for the future. Anytime I chat with you, you really seem to like it, so glad that's the case."
You say that you're shy, how do you get past that, in a situation like this where you're on the main stage?I've been kind of taking each question and singling it out as just one thing I have to focus on and avoiding looking at the whole shebang.
At the same time, I'm always yapping with you guys on the forum so it kind of doesn't feel nearly as "on the spot" as it would if you were all strangers!
Kayla (host): "You have gotten a ridiculous amount of questions. You should be excited that everyone has so many questions to ask. It means you must be really awesome."
What is the worst thing that you've ever done and gotten away with?I used to steal my mom's mint creme cookies. She'd hide them in an upper cupboard and I'd take one or two every night and suddenly the box would be empty and I'd leave it there and blame my brothers.
At least five times a year.
Kayla (host): "I wonder if anyone ever suspected you? Five times a year is a lot of cookies to steal. :P"
What's the longest you have gone with out drinking coffee and were you having withdrawals?Um...
A day. Maybe a day and a half.
And yes, I get grumpy and headache-y and cannot focus and, eventually, once I yell enough, someone brings me some joe.
What is your favourite birthday tradition? What do you like to do for yourself on your birthdays, and what do you like do do for others?
Which birthday celebration in your life, is your most memorable, and what do you find memorable about it?My birthday is on Christmas Eve. My family also does out big Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve.
It's always been a wild, insane, open house with people in and out all day and night and very little focus on the fact that it's my birthday.
I get a cake every year and my choice of dinner -- which is always mom's homemade sloppy joe and shrimp and crab legs to munch on -- but, for the most part, it's Christmas, not "my day".
I'm okay with that.
It makes me happy to spend my birthday with so many loving friends and family members and keeps me from feeling spotlighted and started at.
Kayla (host): "Awww. Christmas Eve? That would really suck. I bet you were probably one of those people that got the "birthday&christmas" present. I guess I can see how it'd be a neat thing though; almost everyone would be together for Christmas anyway."
If someone had never used a wood toy before and was a bit hesitant, what would you tell them and what would you recomend as their first wood toy?Take it slow, try something a bit slimmer to start with and make sure it has a nice g-spot curve cuz g-spot stim is where wood toys really, really shine.
I love Nobessence but their stuff is on the large side so I would likely recommend something by Hans Hardwood as a first piece.
If you were to open up your own coffee shop how would you make it different from the other coffee shops?Oh, I dunno.
I'd want it to be very friendly and open and comfy with lots of good coffee smells and less packaged stuff but, other than that? Not much.
I like coffee shops and would be totally content to have just a normal one that was comfortable and had good product so people wanted to come and share my obsession with me.
Kayla (host): "It could be a sex toy store *and* a coffee shop? That's probably against some sort of law for having a food place though. But it'd be really awesome."
What was your most awkward first date experience? I remember my ex and I were so nervous on our first date we talked about orange juice and the question of pulp or no pulp lol.My very first date ever the guy showed up to get me in a ...
My parents were like "OH BUT HELL NO!" and drove us to the movie instead.
Totally humiliating since he was 3 years older than I was.
Kayla (host): "A van isn't that horrible. Unless you count the "let's have sex in the back" possibilities. For me, it just signifies responsibility and lower car insurance.
...I'm the most boring college student ever, aren't I?"
Have you ever been to EF main office?I have. Laurel and I got to go see the office and warehouse when we were there for the April Flores Love Toy Art Show. It was cool. The warehouse is big and it was so, so cool to get to meet everyone!
Kayla (host): "That's so unfair. I want to go at some point. I bet it's amazingly huge."
What would you do without the internet?Probably the same thing I did before the internet; read, watch tv, and work outside the home.
Kayla (host): "I honestly don't remember what I did before the internet. I actually can't remember "before the internet" at all."
Obviously, we don't need specifics, but do you like the neighborhood you live in? What brought you to live there?I love where I live.
We're in an urban area but not right in the downtown area or in the crappy neighborhoods that surround our downtown. We have lots of shops in walking distance as well as parks and places to grab food. We have nice neighbors and all the homes are older - think built in bookshelves and cabinets, real woodwork, big, fenced in backyards and walk in closets. (1920s-1940s era)
There are kids and families, lots of pets, college kids, racial diversity. There's a college campus a mile down the road.
It's nice.
We ended up moving here because we had to move fast -- our last apartment was sold three times in a year and the last owner was... let's just say UGH... but I'm glad we did. We've been happy here!
Kayla (host): "It sounds amazing. Sounds like somewhere I'd want to live when I bought a house."
When you first started blogging, did you start with a free host, or did you go straight to purchasing your own domain and hosting?I started on tripod, of all places.
I moved to blogger, then wordpress.com, then self hosted when I realized I wanted total freedom to make things look exactly how I wanted with no one to yell at me about adult content.
Kayla (host): "I remember having a Tripod website.Man, that thing is old!"
Do you use any specific "tools" to help you stay organized? Google Calendar? A phone? A paper calendar?A legal pad and pens.
I use Google Docs for EdenCafe posts but, otherwise, it's either all in my head or in a notebook.
Kayla (host): "That's impressive. I recently switched to using Google Calendar, and I'm honestly loving it."
What are your favorite salty snacks? What about your favorite sweet snacks?Potato chips - the crunchy, kettle cooked kind - in vinegar and salt flavor or nuts or cheese for salty.
For sweet, I like small pieces of caramel or caramel and chocolate or chewy candy like Starbursts or fruit -- though I prefer summer fruits to fall/winter fruits.
Kayla (host): "Starbursts sound yummy right now. What about Oreos? Oreos are pretty amazing too. Sounds like you have good taste in food though."
If there's anything you could go back and change within your career and time spent as a reviewer on EF, what would it be? Is there anything you would have done differently?I don't think so?
I think I've evolved as EF has evolved and am totally okay with having made mistakes or not always been perfect.
In your videos, I sometimes see your pets running around in the background. What are their stories? How did you come to adopt them? What about their names?Aha!
Our cat, Kitten (or Scaredy Cat, though we never call her that) was a stray my mom found in her back yard one winter. We fed her and gave her a box and finally caught her and it turned out she was both fixed and declawed. No one claimed her when we contacted animal control so we kept her. She's very un-catlike and mostly stays in the laundry room with her food or on my feet in bed. We've had her for 10 years and we think she is 11 or 12.
Our beagle, Miss Dazey, was adopted from a breeder who breeds hunting dogs. She's not much of a hunter so he sold her as a pet. She has initially belonged to someone else who mistreated her. The breeder took her back and we got a great price on her --- but she had almost no hair! She was all full of hot spots. We fixed her up and fed her a lot and now she is a fat, happy, lazy old dog who loves us. We've had her for 5 years. She is 6.
Our Rottweiler, Leonidas, came to us from some of our best friends who breed. He was the runt and the last to go and they just didn't have the energy to deal with one more puppy until he sold so they gave him to us. He's small for a Rottie, about 95 pounds and more sleek than bulky and square, but he's loving and hyper and dumb and affectionate and a great pet. We've had him for 2.5 years, since he was 12 weeks old. Having been raised with the beagle, he has a funny bark -- half Rott roar, half beagle bay. It's amusing and noisy!
Kayla (host): "Scaredy Cat sounds adorable! I feel sorry for her, but I'm glad she found a loving home. The dogs sound cute too."
How are those quicksand movies produced? Is it a giant pool with water and mud? How long did it take to get clean after shooting one of those movies?Most production companies have a dedicated spot they do them with permanent pits built for it.
The pits are dug out, then filled with either clay or peat mixed with water and allowed to stay filled and grow to look more natural.
The peat is very thick about half way down -- the consistency of, say, oatmeal - but watery the second half.
The clay is SUPER thick, just like a clay mask you buy for your face only in a large quantity.
Most pits range in depth from 1 foot in some areas and on the edges to 6-8 feet in the center.
Some companies use natural mud pits but they're hard to find and tend to be full of really nasty green gunk.
When I film for Pamela Rose Productions I do it in a weekend, usually three days. I usually do 3 - 6 sinks a day so we go from getting ready to doing the sink to cleaning up and then right back to getting ready. It takes about half an hour to get hosed off and then showered/hair washed. The peat and clay are rough on the hair and skin so MUCH conditioner and lotion are required.
Kayla (host): "That sounds insane. I mean, it sounds *easy* in theory to dunk in a giant thing of mud, but that cleaning and getting ready? I can see that getting old very, very fast."
Are you the jealous type? Is Taylor? If you don't mind, kindly share one of your worst experiences and how you dealt with it.
Again, might be waking some demons. Apologies.I am, admittedly, the jealous type. Taylor is not.
I don't have any specific experiences to share because we both work very, very hard at communicating our feelings and compromising for each other -- and I try hard not to react to my jealous feelings - but I will say my jealousy gives me super powers!
Taylor used to work as a stagehand for a local concert venue and he swears that every single time some girl flirted with him during a show his phone would ring and it would be me calling.
Totally coincidental but amusing that it happened so often, none the less.
You seem very comfortable in your sexuality. Was there ever a time where you felt intimidated by the intimacy aspects of sex? Making eye contact, talking about things in the moment..Not really?
I have shy moments even now. I think we all do. Things get super intense or I'm having a bad body image day and and I get flustered but, for the most part, I take sex for what it is in the moment.
Some days it's less comfortable than others and that's okay. I don't have to be a sex goddess every day. (Or, you know, ever)
I also will always suck at talking dirty. I just start to stutter and blush and sound fake!
Kayla (host): "That sounds more adorable than sexy. I'd still love to hear it though. I'd probably laugh."
I've thought about writing reviews for Eden, but I feel like I just can't share those experiences with people other than my partner. Was there ever a time you were timid or nervous about exploring your sexuality?We all are at first and even after a long time can be effected by shy days!
Just write what feels comfortable and, if you're not feeling like you can share intimate details, remain a bit more technical. It's all good.
What are your long term goals for Eden Cafe? What would you like to see it become (not that I don't love it there just the way it is, but EF does love to keep things moving and shaking!)? Is there anything you'd like to see done or touched on there that hasn't come up yet?I would, I think, like to see even more and more community members participating. I'd like to see a broader variety of topics and viewpoints and more controversial and political stuff.
I'd also like to see more educational stuff and would love to have someone who is a qualified sex educator doing some pieces but I'm also happy to let it grow slowly and organically. It's worked so far and I really like what it has become. I figure it can only get better!
Kayla (host): "I would love to see this community grow too. It's amazing how far its come, and I'm looking forward to it changing even more."
You have the somewhat unique perspective of being both a reviewer and employee of EF for a few years now. Over those years, there have been many changes. What are some of the more memorable changes, both good and bad, that stand out to you?Ahhh.
Description Reviews and the time when those first were being put into place. That was a hard time for me (and that program still makes me opine loudly and verbosely from both sides of the fence) and was confusing for reviewers and staff alike.
When we started adding videos, too. Gosh, that was my first really big responsibility and I worried myself into a tizzy almost daily!
I remember almost all the staff changes and program changes. I see the community constantly changing and in flux -- usually for the better but I miss some of the folks who started with me and are gone.
There is so much -- and nearly all of it has been good and bad in some way, if for no other reason than change is never easy, but primarily good.
I'm proud of EF and where it is and of my role in the changes. Even more so of the amazing community that really defines EF as different than anyone else.
Kayla (host): "I remember when the video program started; it's amazing how much it's morphed into something amazing, complete, and helpful; it's thanks to you too!"
You and I have had many many late night chats, midday talks and vents to each other... and I know how you feel about most things! But I bet most of the readers want to know how you feel about your coworkers, how you feel about this past year of serious growth and development, and how you feel about the merger and our collective future...do tell, dear Carrie AnnIndeed! We've even talked while you shopped at Target mid Christmas season. Heh.
I am fortunate that I truly adore my co-workers. We all work hard and have turned into such a good, solid team that it amazes me and reminds me, every day, why I am lucky to be here, to be a part of it.
I will admit the merger makes me nervous, mostly because I am shy (what? I AM!) and I don't know any of the Liberator people and what if they eat me????? At the same time, I think it is the coolest thing ever and feel proud to be a part of the Liberator family, to have extended my work family to include such fine products and hard working people.
Very, very excited about the future!
Kayla (host): "I'm pretty excited too. I'm also very excited that this happens to be your last question; this is a perfect way to end this interview - looking to the future."
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