text:
Tony Law
Winner of the Chortle Award for Breakthrough act in 2012... 14 years after starting out in comedy. He was also nominated for the Foster's Edinburgh Comedy Award the same year.
Tony Law Videos
See more Tony Law videos
Tony Law: Enter The Tonezone
It might not seem it, as he stands there in a flimsy skin-tight onesie decorated with cut-up neckerchiefs, wearing a rabbit hat and blowing inexpertly into a trombone. But there's a point to Tony Law's new show.
Sure, he sports the usual look, partway between homeless and Glastonbury mushroom casualty, and for a good half-hour he indulges in the same loose dicking around that his fans have come to expect, complete with commentary about just how ill-prepared and random it all is. Law's a man who makes a virtue of the fact he needs to glance at his notebook (yes, he has scripted this nonsense) or his reluctance to banter with the audience, believing mutual trepidation is the correct state of affairs between performer and audience.
He moves between various ideas, only semi-committed to any of them save for the rhythmic dance routine, but the fluid, fervent nature of the bizarre activity is a boon, keeping us – and even him, it sometimes seems – constantly surprised. Oh look, there's the old steamboat horn; now he's pretending to transcend time. Non-sequiturs abound – you'd be very hard-pressed to spot a sequitur in any of this.
We're all aware that this is foolishness, a safe manifestation of insanity. If he knows it's nuts, he must OK, right? So, definitely not a nervous breakdown, just a man being silly and entertaining.
But it turns out he has had a emotionally tough experience in the past year which could have had a traumatic impact on his psyche. And it raised all sorts of harrowing memories, not to mention dark thoughts of mortality, that could have made him this strange way.
He admits to being scared about telling an honest story from his own life, a major departure from the surreal fun-and-games that is his stock in trade. Very occasionally he chucks in a well-telegraphed comic embellishment to sugar the pill, including a silly payoff that dissipates the tension with a big laugh, but mostly this is true. And that honesty adds heft to his escapades and an emotional core to the nonsense.
Hidden away is the idea that society's rituals, however peculiar they seem, are all born from ways of coping with tougher moments… and screw it if he can't create a few new rituals of his own, here on this stage. Our time in existence is limited and probably futile. So why not pass an hour of it being foolish in the presence of a man who long abandoned the idea of conformist decorum?
'It changed my life forever and I've ski-doo'd that breathful trail ever since'27/09/2013
Comic release21/03/2007
Older Comments
Jon - 09/05/2012
Seen him three times and am a big fan of his style, which I'd describe as something along the lines of alternative with panache.
Jake - 22/02/2012
He is just brilliant, you will be guaranteed something different, not your conventional comedian, much, much better than that. Sit back and enjoy the ride!
Kellie - 29/04/2011
This man is a comedy god. Quirky and creative he is genuinely hilarious every time and he just gets better and better. More!
Andy T - 08/04/2011
Absolutely brilliant! Very creative and utterly unique. I suppose if I had to compare him to anything, I'd say he's like the stand-up version of Family Guy - surreal with sharp insights and bizarre tangents that left me in stitches. I'd definitely recommend catching him if you haven't already.
Adrian Breeds - 27/03/2011
Abysmal - utterly clueless and less funny than an enema. By the time he finished his 15 minutes of drivel most of the room had emptied into the bar/toilets just to get away from the noise. Never, ever again.
Jack - 28/02/2011
This man is a genius and unbelievably funny.
Matt - 09/01/2011
Funniest freaking comedian out there. Personable and funny even if half of what he says is nonsense. Top, top comic.
Dan - 02/09/2010
The funniest comic I saw at the Edinburgh Festival this year. I'll definitely watch him again.
Ollie - 26/01/2010
Very silly... simply had to do a few stretches and had the audience in the palm of his hands... very funny without saying very much of his material. In a word, brilliant.
MrC - 30/11/2009
Enjoyed his opener for Stewart Lee this Sunday in liberal Salford. It was almost post-modern in its self-awareness. The irony was the reference to all the Manchester liberal having descended on the Lowry when barely half an hour later a proportion of the audience was baying for the blood of a deranged heckler at the main event!
Michael Monkhouse - 25/06/2008
Really weird and sometimes you don't know what the hell he's on about. Neither does he probably. Still funny though.
Charlie - 02/06/2006
Seen Tony at the Glee Club in Birmingham - this was the first time I had seen or heard of him - and I almost laughed my ass off! I couldn't tell you what he looks like due to the tears streaming from my eyes from laughing so much. Ace, totally ace
Leo - 29/05/2006
The guy his freakin hilarious. I could barely breath from the start when all he did was put a microphone in his mouth and make a funny noise. The guy is a comedy genius.
David - 26/05/2006
I saw Tony at a gig recently and thought he was fantastic. I love his off the wall sense of humour and he never fails to leave me doubled over with laughter. Can't wait to see what he comes up with for Edinburgh this year.
Phil Harrington - 10/04/2006
I have seen Tony Law twice and he was better the second time but still really really shit.He thinks putting a microphone in your mouth is so funny he did it four times The man is a waste of time and is basically biting on Harry Hill's style.
Sinead - 08/03/2006
Saw him last night - stomach still hurting from laughing. Totally mental, random, rambling sense of humour... best laugh I've had in ages. Intellectually superior to most of the audience who didn't seem to "get" everything, but they still enjoyed it. 100%. Ace. Love him.
Stefan - 26/02/2006
One of the best I'e ever seen, was so random but absolutely brilliant.
Dave - 26/02/2006
Awesome show! Barely had a chance to breath. Non-stop hillarity
Steve - 11/02/2006
I saw Tony at Jongleurs in Cardiff and he was brilliant. It took a couple of minutes to get going but he was very funny. I think he was too intelligent for many people in the audience.
David - 02/02/2006
Saw him at the Hyena in Newcastle. Brilliant! Great spontaneous feel to the show, I never stopped laughing
Cameron Ward - 22/12/2005
Arnab Chanda - 27/11/2005
Brilliant, best in the UK, hands down.
Roger - 07/11/2005
Sorry but the guy came to our uni and was whitewashed by a member of the crowd. He ended up embarrassing himself in a slagging match. Comedians need to be a bit better than this to impress me.
Gary Smith - 25/10/2005
You can't pin down this guys act but when its that funny why bother? A must see.
Damon - 04/09/2005
He was ace. Really random.... Lovely. Super funny.
Kirsty - 24/07/2005
Oh my god this guy was brilliant! Watched him at the Glee Club last night and he was absolutely hilarious, had the crowd nearly wetting themselves.
David Archer - 15/07/2005
Saw him at Scunthorpe last night as part of a Best of Edinburgh show. Truly crap. Died on his feet. I hadn't a clue what the bloke was on about.
Rachel - 05/07/2005
Wonderful as ever last night in Torquay. Saw him 2 years ago in Newcastle and he never changes
James - 15/05/2005
Brilliant imaginative humour and excellent delivery
Tim - 15/05/2005
When I saw him last night, he seemed to have jetlag and not everyone warmed to the slow pace of his delivery. There were sparks of comic brilliance -I could have listened to him all night.
Ricky - 07/05/2005
On a night with 3 other top notch comics, Tow stood out from them all. I though I was watching the B*stard offspring of Hicks and Izzard. Anyway, Tony if you ever read this you owe me one funny bone , 'cause you broke mine. C'mon the Gay Russians
Jess - 14/04/2005
He was the funniest comedian to appear on Rove Live in a long time. I loved how he just kept talking and rambling about shiny things. What a crack up
Urusla - 07/04/2005
This comic is what would have happened if Keith Richards had picked up a microphone instead of a guitar.
Darren - 24/03/2005
An absolute genius. One of the funniest men alive.
John Smith - 14/02/2005
Saw him at Up The Creek on Saturday night - what a tosser! No idea, no good material, lost the crowd and was booed off
Robert H - 31/01/2005
Andy H - 22/01/2005
Amazingly funny. Half the crowd were confused and kind of silent. I and many others were constantly laughing. A must for anyone with a quirky sense of humour
- 13/01/2005
Very surreal but with the undertone of a fine comedy mind. This guy is the comedy equivlent of Marmite. Worth seeing if only to question how far you can bend you imagination.
Ursula - 16/10/2004
Third time I've seen him, truly unique sense of humour, intelligent and extremely funny if you can step out of the real world for half an hour.
Graham - 03/10/2004
Random, imaginative and very funny.
atrick and Hilary - 01/10/2004
Heard him twice in Edinburgh in 2004 and he is the funniest comic I have heard since Eddie the King Izzard - all the big names were mediocre compared to this zany genius! P
Alex - 29/09/2004
Without doubt the funniest man I've ever seen.
Dave - 25/05/2004
Superb, great impression of a brachiosaurus and then a bloke on a brachiosaurus' back. Awesome.
Brien - 08/05/2004
Not very impressed. His material was not funny and he did not connect with the crowd.
Andy - 14/04/2004
Top quality comedian. Very clever. Very funny. Absolutely hilarious.
Tony Law Dates
Wed 24 Sep 2014
- National Maritime Museum
- 19:30
- £18.50 to £24
- Aisling Bea, Stewart Lee, Tony Law
Thu 25 Sep 2014Book Now
- Leicester Square Theatre
- 21:00~23:00
- £15
- Josie Long, Tony Law, Simon Munnery (MC)
Tue 30 Sep 2014
- Cardiff Chapter Arts Centre
- 19:00~20:00
- £13
Tue 30 Sep 2014
- Cardiff Chapter Arts Centre
- 21:00~22:00
- £13
Sat 4 Oct 2014
- Lincoln Drill Hall
- 18:30
- £10 (£8 concs)
Sun 5 Oct 2014
- Newport Pagnell The Cannon
- 19:00~20:00
- £10
Mon 6 Oct 2014
- Palace Theatre
- 19:30
- £8.50 to £23.50
- Aisling Bea, Daniel Kitson, Joe Lycett, Josh Widdicombe, Katherine Ryan, Sara Pascoe, Stewart Lee, Tony Law
Wed 8 Oct 2014Book Now
- Birmingham Glee Club
- 20:00
- Adult - £13.00, Student - £10.00
- Tony Law
Fri 10 Oct 2014
- Tony Law: Enter the Tonezone
- Wolverhampton Slade Rooms
- 20:00
- £13.75
More Tony Law Dates …
Sat 11 Oct 2014
- Canterbury Marlowe Theatre
- 19:00~20:00
- From £10.75 to £14.75
Tue 14 Oct 2014
- Tony Law: Enter the Tonezone
- Edinburgh Stand
- 20:30
- Call for prices
Wed 15 Oct 2014
- Tony Law: Enter the Tonezone
- Glasgow Stand
- 20:30
- Call for prices
Fri 17 Oct 2014
- Tony Law: Enter the Tonezone
- Hove The Old Market
- 19:30
- £14 (£10 concs)
Mon 20 Oct 2014
- Southport Fox & Goose
- 20:30~21:30
- £10
Tue 21 Oct 2014
- Tony Law: Enter the Tonezone
- Sheffield City Hall
- 20:00
- From £10
Wed 22 Oct 2014
- Aldershot West End Centre
- 20:00~21:00
- From £10 to £12
Thu 23 Oct 2014Book Now
- Nottingham Glee
- 20:00
- Adult - £12.00, Student - £10.00
- Tony Law
Fri 24 Oct 2014
Thu 30 Oct 2014Book Now
- Oxford Glee
- 20:00
- Adult - £13.00, Student - £10.00
- Tony Law
Fri 31 Oct 2014
- Tony Law: Enter the Tonezone
- Cambridge Junction
- 20:00
- £13 (£11 concs)
Sat 1 Nov 2014
Sat 8 Nov 2014
- Falmouth Poly
- 20:00~21:00
- From £10 to £12
Sun 9 Nov 2014
- Tony Law: Enter the Tonezone
- Bristol Tobacco Factory
- 20:00
- £13.50
Tue 11 Nov 2014
Thu 13 Nov 2014
- Tony Law: Enter the Tonezone
- Exeter Phoenix Arts Centre
- 20:00
- £12.50
Fri 14 Nov 2014
- Plymouth Barbican Theatre
- 20:00~21:00
- £12.50
Sun 16 Nov 2014
- Tony Law: Enter the Tonezone
- Salford Lowry
- 20:00
- £16
Tue 18 Nov 2014
- Colchester Arts Centre
- 20:30~21:30
- From £10 to £14
Thu 20 Nov 2014
Fri 21 Nov 2014
- Cranleigh Arts Centre
- 20:00~21:00
- From £12 to £14
Sun 23 Nov 2014
- Newcastle Stand
- 20:25~21:30
- From £12 to £14
Tue 25 Nov 2014
- Norwich Arts Centre
- 20:00~21:00
- From £12 to £14
Fri 28 Nov 2014
- Tony Law: Enter the Tonezone
- Leicester The Y Theatre
- 20:00
- £12.50
Mon 29 Dec 2014
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Tue 30 Dec 2014
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Fri 2 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Sat 3 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Mon 5 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Tue 6 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Wed 7 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Thu 8 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Fri 9 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Sat 10 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Mon 12 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Tue 13 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Wed 14 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Thu 15 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Fri 16 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Sat 17 Jan 2015
- Soho Theatre
- 19:30~20:30
- £12.50
Represented by
Show + Tell
3 Unit 7a 4th Floor
Rich Estate
Crimscott Street
contact by email
Office: 020 7394 3663
Past Shows
Paramount Comedy Presents Edinburgh and Beyond
The Dinks 2: Mouthbreathin' Talk Radio
Tony Law: The Dog of Time Killer Joe
Tony Law: Revenge Of The Dog Of Time Tony Law: Mr Tony's Brainporium Tony Law: Go Mr Tony Go! Tony Law: Maximum Nonsense Tony Law: Nonsense Overdrive Tony Law: Enter the Tonezone The Tony Law Show


text:
Definition of Catalonia in English:
CataloniaLine breaks: Cata|lo¦nia
Pronunciation: /ˌkatəˈləʊnɪə /
An autonomous region of NE Spain; capital, Barcelona. The region has a strong separatist tradition; the normal language for everyday purposes is Catalan, which has also won acceptance in recent years for various official purposes. Catalan name Catalunya /ˌkatəˈluːnɪə/; Spanish name Cataluña /ˌkataˈluɲa/.
- More example sentences
- And you would not want to forego dinner, not in the Catalonian countryside, where the standard of cooking bears comparison with that across the border, in France.
- A month ago she moved to the small Catalonian town of Castell de Fels to be with her boyfriend, whom she met when she spent a year studying in San Sebastian.
- After a British Airways flight from Heathrow to Barcelona, we arrived in the Catalonian capital to a violent thunderstorm.
Definition of Catalonia in:
- The US English dictionary
Get more from Oxford Dictionaries
Subscribe to remove ads and access premium resources
Word of the day flagitious
Pronunciation: fləˈjiSHəs
(of a person or their actions) criminal; villainous

subset: commoncrawl


text:
April Davids is currently on a flight from the United Kingdom to Tokyo, Japan.
In July 2011 April's first tour saw the Pro-Wrestling:EVE standout compete in eight matches with four wins, two losses and two time limit draws.
Welcome back APRIL!
- philovance reblogged this from iceribbon
- iceribbon posted this


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September 17, 2014
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FIRST PERSON: 'The value of one soul?'
Posted on Dec 20, 2013 | by Alex Garcia
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EDITOR'S NOTE: Alex Garcia and his wife Jessica are Southern Baptist missionaries from One Heart Church in Norcross, Ga. They serve in London among international college students through gifts to the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering for International Missions and Cooperative Program, which fund the presence and missions outreach of nearly 5,000 Southern Baptist personnel internationally. Gifts to the Lottie Moon offering are received through local Southern Baptist churches or online at
, where there are resources to promote the offering. This year's goal is $175 million.
LONDON (BP) -- What is the value of one soul?
London is a city with 8 million people. What difference can one soul in a city of that size make for the cause of Christ? According to the Bible, one soul can make a huge difference.
One of my favorite stories so far here in London is about this group that the Lord started here. We call it Refuge. It is a group that meets regularly and is about a year old. So far, we're seeing almost 100 people from all over the world attend these gatherings. And, they are shining the light of Christ into their countries.
I really want to say thank you because without your giving, we wouldn't be here.
When I first got here, my wife and I met this young Brazilian guy. We started talking about life and were able to share the Gospel with him. He responded almost immediately. He said, "Yeah, that's what I want for my life." And immediately after that, we started hanging out with him in coffee shops and studying Bible stories in English.
We knew our time with him was really short because he had to go back home to his country. The last story we were studying together was the story of Philip and the Ethiopian (Acts 8). Our new friend was fascinated by the fact that the Ethiopian wanted to be baptized, right there. He asked me what would keep him from being baptized. "Nothing," I said. I told him we have a bathtub at home. He could invite all of his friends, and we could have his goodbye party and baptism on the same night.
It was just beautiful and I praise God. Because of the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering and the Cooperative Program, we're able to share the Gospel with that young man. And I believe he is sharing about his amazing encounter he had with Jesus while here in London.
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- Interior Design >
- 10 Small Bedrooms with Huge Amounts of Style
10 Small Bedrooms with Huge Amounts of Style
Tiny bedrooms can present big decorating challenges. Apartment dwellers as well as homeowners feel the pinch when faced with balancing the need for storage and the desire for a stylish, uncluttered space. Because the only nonnegotiable item in a bedroom is the bed, we've pulled together 10 examples of how you can use mirrors, color palettes, multipurpose furnishings, and other decorating tricks to live large in your small space.
How often do termite queens lay eggs?


text: Weingartz and Gleaners Community Food Bank's annual 'Mow Down Hunger' campaign to raise food for hungry children is underway. The campaign hopes to raise 1 million meals between now and October 7th. Weingartz is matching all donations to help reach their goal.Last year's Mow Down Hunger raised $310,000 and gave nearly 1 million meals to hungry children. You can donate online through www.mowdownhunger.com or by phone at 855-315-FOOD (3663).


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Rise Up at LRU!
Greetings from Lenoir-Rhyne University!
Watch the following video to get more information about Lenoir-Rhyne University.
It's hard to believe that your senior year is almost at the midpoint. You will soon be making a college decision, and embarking on a life changing experience. As a Lutheran university, Lenoir-Rhyne not only offers outstanding academic programs, but is a place where your faith can grow and develop, and where you can learn more about living a meaningful life and how to serve others.
One more thing: if you haven't already we'd like for you to visit our campus and check it out for yourself. We think you'll be pretty impressed with what you see. In the meantime, please feel free to contact us with questions. We'd love to talk with you and tell you more about how you can "rise up!" at Lenoir-Rhyne!
Let us hear from you!
Karen Feezor
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Take Charge of Tomorrow Apply Today


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Not many people know how to curl.
"It's just a matter of trying to get more of your stones closer to the
center of the rings than your opponents," says Curt Bradbury, member of
Bismarck's Capital Curling Club. "It sounds like a simple concept, but
there's a lot of strategy involved."
"It's like chess on ice, it's probably the best way to put it."
When the winter Olympics come around, curling sweeps the competition.
"It's really fun when you get to throw the rocks around a little bit and
see who gets the most points to win," says Luke Pengilly, a 10-year-old
Members of Bismarck's Capital Curling Club say they're expecting the
Sochi games to be a big hit with people who want to try out the sport.
"Given that it is an Olympic year, we are going to expect some kind of a
spike in our membership," Bradbury says. "Right now, we've got upwards
of 250 people."
The Capital Curling Club is open to people of all ages and skill levels,
and even beginners can rock by the end of their first day.
"It's a good way to meet people, great people curl," says Dave Shireley,
who just started curling in November of last year. "It's just fun to do
something in North Dakota in the depths of the winter."
All the people who help at the club are members who volunteer.
"If you catch curling in the Olympics, you should come down," Shireley
says. "We're always looking for people, always willing to teach people
how to curl."
Members say they're hoping to have more than three-hundred people in the club in the near future.
Evangelist Franklin Graham prayed on a sidewalk outside the Pentagon Thursday after his invitation to a prayer service inside was withdrawn because of comments that insulted people of other religions. More>>


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text:
28 U.S. Code § 1363 - Jurors' employment rights
Source(Added Pub. L. 95–572, § 6(b)(1),Nov. 2, 1978, 92 Stat. 2457.)
Prior Provisions
Effective Date
Pub. L. 95–572, § 7,Nov. 2, 1978, 92 Stat. 2457, provided that:
"(a) Except as provided in subsection (b) of this section, the amendments made by this Act [enacting this section and section 1875, renumbering section 1363, relating to construction of references to laws of the United States or Acts of Congress, as section 1364, and amending sections 1863, 1865, 1866, 1869, and 1871 of this title] shall apply with respect to any grand or petit juror summoned for service or actually serving on or after the date of enactment of this Act [Nov. 2, 1978].
"(b) The amendment made by section 5 of this Act [amending section 1871 of this title] shall apply with respect to any grand or petit juror serving on or after the sixtieth day following the date of enactment of this Act [Nov. 2, 1978]."
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Kristen Hanley Cardozo is dangerous with pointy sticks. She lurks stealthily in the San Francisco Bay Area with her family and a collection of yarn and patterns that threatens to take over the house. You can read about her adventures and mishaps at Knitting Kninja.
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Based on the movie "Wristcutters."
The drops of water crashed all over her, incorporating even more so in the pool her shower could take, as long as she sat over the drain, no water would escape. As long as the doors would be able to take as much water as she needed to drown… but it instead only just let the water free to soak the tiles of the bathroom floor. The whimpers were endless, whoever had the bad luck to spend the night in that apartment would believe they were sleeping with a half-cut cat crying out for its life at the other side of their bedroom door. But it was no cat, and there was no blood, nobody was dying, not today anyway. Violet sat under the water, her back pressed tightly against the white tiles of the bathroom wall, her red, pale feet retracted so much they touched her hips, her arms locking the knees which were so tightly pressed against her chest only for some sort of balance. For some sort of comfort.
But comfort never came, and she only felt worse by the second.
Tomorrow would have been the day where she'd walk out of the front door, with life forming inside of her, a fetus who would've been a baby, a baby who would've been a boy or a girl, she didn't know, but she wanted to so badly, she had wanted to think of the day she would finally have that happy chapter in her life. One that would make her feel finally useful, like she could finally do something that would change lives, or perhaps only just one, maybe only the baby's. Weeks ago she had felt like she could rule the world with that child, like she could be the person she wanted to be, to be the sun in this little creature's life, who knew? They always told children at schools that they could manage to become the President one day, and who knew if maybe this one creature would have had been able to achieve it? Whether it was a boy or a girl, it didn't matter, she only just wanted the baby to live, but the phone, and his voice… he seemed so eager about it. It disgusted her.
"My baby!" the impulse of the whimper that came out almost left her out of breath. "My poor baby!" her face was already a grimace of flesh so pale it almost seemed purple, her nose was pink from the chilly air and the cold water, she could barely feel her limbs, but her chest felt as if the weight of a million circus elephants would've aimed to crush her small body. The air came out of her lungs every time as if somebody had punched her right in her belly, forcing the air out of her lungs, but never making an attempt to bring it back to her system. Did you ever wonder how it felt like when you've cried restlessly for hours? At first you felt the need to breathe in deeper to sob as loud as you needed to, but as the minutes passed, you just wept and felt this burning inside your throat that made you forget completely about stupid little things such as breathing. Breathing, in the land of sorrow, was nothing but a petty thing that would keep you alive for more suffering to come.
Violet's eyes had been sealed shut during the entirety of the event, and only just now let her tired neck stretch and drive her head back to lay against the wall behind her, her entire neck stung with pain for the strain of having been pushed forward as her face fell on top of her knees, or between her legs. A shiver ran down her spine, and she felt her skin crawling, goosebumps sending minimal shivers to erect the hairs at the back of her neck, at her arms, and legs. She knew the cold would come, it always did one way or another. She didn't care, nothing would move her from where she sat tonight, or so she thought. Her mind oozed with thoughts, I should've known. I shouldn't have been so naïve. My baby won't ever see the light of day… No, no, no, no, no. Don't be so stupid, it's not a baby, it's barely a fetus. Only four weeks, or was it five now? Shut up! It's only a fetus inside of you! A thing… it would only make things worse for you! Robb…
"Robb" she growled through gritted teeth. You stupid little girl. You should've gone through with mother's plans. You should've listened, you stupid, stupid girl. How did it come to this? "I hate you!" She screamed out at the man who had trapped her into this, the back of her head hitting hard against the tiles of the bathroom wall. "I HATE you!" the only one to have wrecked this perfect little dream of hers, the liar, the man whom she thought would love her no matter what, or at least have some decency to keep the boy. He could sneak in after work to give him some company, right? He had done it so many times before with Violet. The hollowness of her was now filled with anger, the droplets of water annoyed her to no end. She needed it to stop, when she closed the water, everything seemed to make a little more sense. Her body felt washed out, wasted, scattered through the entire floor. Her throat burned with irritation, sorrow, and irony. She banged her head against the wall a couple more times.
The repeated hits came flowing like electricity through Violet's body, her sobs getting out of control as her head rushed to meet the concrete beneath the whiteness of the ceramic covering it. Hot tears poured from her eyes, warming up the cold skin at her cheeks, and running down to slide down her throat, and into her chest. Violet didn't know how many strikes she took, or how long it took her to finally stop, but after a couple of moments she felt her closed eyes open up slowly, her rich blue eyes looking up, staring intently at the white light hovering above her. Her breathing slowed down and deepened, her arms loosened up the grip around her legs, and she felt her head rest above her shoulders. For a moment, her mind had gone blank, and it was as if she'd blended in with the entirety of the room. She had become nothing, a piece of furniture in a room so still she thought would break if she ever moved.
She had made her decision.
The next step to get herself back on her feet seemed to her as if she'd just learned how to walk again, as if she had never before attempted such thing. Her hips hurt and so did her back, her shoulders and feet ached slightly, and one leg had gone numb for having been in such position for the amount of time. Slowly, she got herself out of the shower, and just set foot on the drenched floor, a careful hand to the wall in case she slipped. Violet needed to sleep for the big day tomorrow, and she couldn't with these soaked clothes. She stripped from everything she had, and hung them at the bars behind her. When she turned around, her eyes caught her own reflection on the mirror; no expression could be seen on her features, neither did she know what she felt inside. She watched herself closely. Her pale skin showed no sign of the purple she thought once painted her flesh, her lips, fully red, nose and cheeks so pink people would have thought it looked rather charmingly to her.
Her gaze lowered to her nakedness in front of the mirror, she wasn't a skeleton, but she'd always been very thin at the torso, her small waist and ribs easily showing, her flat belly, her full legs and arms, all so pale they would probably be the perfect colour of snow. Her lazy eyes looked over at the reflection in the mirror, batting their lashes for one slow second, and darted away from the room. That night she didn't sleep, she only just rested. Probably in a state of shock, thinking about all the things she achieved in the past. Yes, it was better to look at the past, otherwise everything would seem worthless—-daylight came and she watched the walls of her room fill in with the colour of light. Of supposed happiness. Curious how it was, in the past, some nights she would not sleep, or wake up before sunrise, just to watch the beauty of the sun coming back to greet her with welcoming arms. She once loved the sound of birds starting to sing at the early hours of the morning, and today was no exception.
She made herself get out of the bed, and look out the window, her lips pursed for a second, but just as the sound of birds singing to her today, in this manner, she could only bite her lip and try not to cry so early. But she didn't, not one single tear. Today she'd clean the entire house, she needed to set things how they were. Who would want to enter into a filthy house anyway? She had guests today anyway, they just didn't know it yet. She started with the bathroom, the drenched tiles on the floor, the mirror. Her own bedroom, the living room, leaving the kitchen for the very last. Once she was done, she made herself ready for the trip. Took a long, deserved shower, did her hair, and even put on a pretty dress she had bought for when Robb and her went finally to Greece, but it seemed it wouldn't happen now. The thought made her smile in a sickening way, disbelief still holding the lips back into a more saddening smile.
When finally Violet set herself to listen, as she drank her tea in her living room, she waited for the phone to ring for a little while before finally taking it from the table in which it had been watched buzzing twice now. No hurries, she had promised herself.
"Violet, I received your message. I'm not coming with you, I thought you'd know I'm busy."
"Unfortunate, then. You would have liked my present for you. I guess your driver would have it all for himself, then."
"But I guess you no longer want to see me."
Hesitation, and she knew she was winning.
"Alright, I'm coming"
No smile crept her lips, she didn't say another word.
The call ended.
Her heartbeat sped up slightly, but she took in one deep breath before finally getting herself to her feet again. The next minute were contained of her scribbling down with her perfect handwriting a note. She had already left the door unlocked for anybody who'd seen her, she hoped it would be Robb. She needed it to be Robb, the man whom she'd thought would be her knight in shining armour, to finally become one and walk through that door, finding her princess, all ready for him. Violet walked into the kitchen and only just opened the gas switch, and let it fill inside the oven. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, her last clean breath, she had to enjoy it. Just as she had enjoyed that man between her legs, just as she had enjoyed his useless talk, how his hand brushed her skin, the false promises, the hollow words. It was time, she knew, she needed to act quickly.
Violet knelt quickly in front of the oven, and opened it carefully so. She didn't inhale until she felt like she could hold no more. The smell was awful in her nose, her throat burned from the lack of oxygen, she frowned into a terrible grimace. She thought she'd cry, but she kept herself from doing so, she couldn't cry, she didn't want to die like this. She didn't regret it, she didn't want to live. A hand was kept on her flat belly as she thought of her baby in those moments. It didn't take long before her lungs started to ache, like drowning, she had thought. Like being born again. Many times she'd think how being born would've been, but never dying. Not until now, that she was alive enough to die. One more sharp breath, and Violet Black's body fell onto the ground, helpless, lethargic, her heart beat slowly, painfully, but her mind was no longer. It hurt to even breathe. Her eyes opened slowly.


text:
MySQL and MongoDB Sitting In a Boat
An interesting post from lunar logic guys about using MySQL and MongoDB for their Kanban product, how that get there and the tools they are using.
As a personal note, I thought how this system would be characterized in terms of CAP. It should be quite clear that we cannot speak about consistency over the two systems as MongoDB doesn't really support transactions (you can check these notes on MongoDB for more details). So, in case their system would be using master-master MySQL replication and replica-pairs for MongoDB, and the internal tools would know how to work with this setup, we could probably say that we have an AP system. But if any of these preconditions are not fulfilled, I'd say both A and P are lost.
via: http://lunarlogicpolska.com/blog/2010/02/15/mysql-and-mongodb-working-together-in-kanbanery
by Alex Popescu
Ana-Maria Bacalu
- Most read
- Latest


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Fans who were hoping for a sequel to the Taylor Swift / Ed Sheeran duet "Everything Has Changed" won't be happy to hear that Taylor does not appear at all on Ed's upcoming album. Why? For Ed, it's a case of "Been there, done that."
Speaking to London's Capital FM , Ed says, "I didn't work with Taylor on the album purely for the fact that we've done that already. We've already done a song, and I don't know if that would surprise anyone if that happened."
That element of surprise is apparently what the Grammy-nominated Brit is going for on the new disc, and he feels that having Taylor join him, would just be more of the same old, same old.
"We're always going to perform together, we're always going to write together, we're always going to hang out," Ed explains. "I just felt for this record, I wanted to make a record that would surprise people and keep them intrigued. And I've already done a song with Taylor within the last two years, so I don't know if anyone would be too shocked by that."
So far, there's no release date for Ed's album, but it's expected to come out long before Taylor's next disc, which is due at the end of this year. If you want to hear Ed singing with a female singer/songwriter, wait 'til March, when Christina Perri 's new album head or heart arrives. He's recorded a duet with her for that project.
Copyright 2014 ABC News Radio


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State of Play (2009)
Alternate title: State of Play (Universal)
The most popular movies among NYTimes.com readers.
2 of 52 Readers' Reviews
HIGHLIGHT (What's this?)
April 21st, 20096:01 pm
This is an extremely enjoyable thriller which treats its audience as adults. The NYT review commented on the excellence of the movie but noted a level of dissatisfaction with the ending. I won't disclose the ending but it was plausible ...yes, one left the theater with questions given there was not clarity and there were "loose ends." One can speculate that the writers and director took some liberties in order to keep the movie at about 2 hrs in length (remember this was a 5 or 6 part BBC mini-series so one can appreciate the challenge the writers had).
Nevertheless, the movie was excellent and the cast, without exception, was outstanding. Rachel McAdams was very good which, in many respects, is a compliment to Russell Crowe. He gave her alot of room and never over- whelmed her. Helen Mirren was terrific as well but the role did not have alot of breadth. Ben Affleck was very good and Jason Bateman was tremendous as a caricature of a P.R. guy.
In life, as one ends an undertaking, all the "loose ends" are not always tied up in a neat little bow. Further, there are always threads, in this case sub-plots, that can and are interpreted differently by different people.
Go see it. It will be time well spent and you will enjoy discussing it with your friends.
— WJHeron, S.F.,CA
HIGHLIGHT (What's this?)
April 24th, 20097:11 am
State of Play wasn't a good film. They all tried to make it look good but they failed. The final twist was totally unnecesary and didn't add much to the story. Once you analyse the plot, you find too many holes and incoherent bits. The thing is that the film goes too fast and when you're finally digesting a scene, there has been another twist and you have a sense of being confused.
Liked the acting, specially Crowe and McAdams. Mirren was good but in the usual Helen-Mirren-type of character: a bunch of bad words, sexiness and attitude. I don't understand the praise for Jason Bateman who only had a few lines and looked like Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men. Ben Affleck was bad as usual, no doubt about it. He always brings the wrong notes to his performances.
State of Play is a decent experiment but don't expect too much as I did. You will seat there looking at the credits feeling that you were somehow robbed if you do.
— Mike Vaughn, Dublin, Ireland


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Was £23.00
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Ceramic white 'Oink' diamante pig money box
Item No.3320014535
From the 'Oink' range by Salt and Pepper, this white ceramic pig money box is embellished with diamante stones for a glamorous touch and has a rubber plugged base.
- HW: 16.5 x 23cm
- Ceramic
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Debenhams is happy to exchange or refund your purchase within 28 days providing the goods are in a fully resaleable condition (including tags) and not within the exclusion policy*. This policy does not affect your statutory rights. You can return unwanted items either by visiting your local store (the fastest way to get a refund), by arranging a courier collection or returning by post. Exclusions apply to selected products. For instructions on how to return products and information on Debenhams refund policy visit the returns and refunds section of the website.


text:
Heart Shaped Portobello Panini
Recipe courtesy of Ellie Krieger
2006 Ellie Krieger, All Rights Reserved
- Healthy Appetite with Ellie Krieger
- Total Time:
- 10 hr 19 min
- Prep:
- 15 min
- Inactive:
- 10 hr
- Cook:
- 4 min
- Yield:
- 2 servings
- Level:
- Intermediate
- Healthy
- Total Time:
- 10 hr 19 min
- Prep:
- 15 min
- Inactive:
- 10 hr
- Cook:
- 4 min
- Yield:
- 2 servings
- Level:
- Intermediate
- 4 sun-dried tomatoes
- 4 portobello mushroom caps, 2 ounces each
- 1/4 cup crumbled Gorgonzola
- 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon olive oil
- Salt
- Pepper
Reconstitute the sun-dried tomatoes by soaking them in boiling water for 10 minutes. Remove the tomatoes from the water and chop them.
Slice the stems off of the mushrooms so they can lay completely flat. Slice each cap in half so you have 8 round mushroom slices. Carefully cut each slice into a heart shape with a cookie cutter.
Top half of the heart shaped mushrooms with 1 tablespoon of tomatoes and 1 tablespoon of cheese. Top with remaining mushroom slices. Brush the top side of each "sandwich" with olive oil.
Preheat a large, nonstick skillet or grill pan. Place the mushroom sandwiches in the pan carefully, oil side down, and cook for 2 minutes. Brush the top half with oil, flip, and cook for 2 minutes more. Season with salt and pepper, to taste, and serve.
More Recipes and Ideas
Grilled Portobello Panini
Recipe courtesy of Patrick and Gina Neely
Heart-Shaped Whole-Wheat Pancakes with Strawberry Sauce
Recipe courtesy of Ellie Krieger
Meatball Panini
Recipe courtesy of Giada De Laurentiis


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'Birdscaping Your Home' topic of Oct. 23 presentation
Judd Brink of MN Backyard Birds will present "Birdscaping Your Home" at 7 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 23, at the Northland Arboretum in Brainerd.
This program will discuss how you can attract more birds to your home with birdscaping. Native plantings of trees and shrubs combined with feeding stations can increase the number and variety of birds. Information about which feeders and food are best for the upcoming winter season will be provided along with how to provide water.
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