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In March, we let you know that trash-to-fuel generators were getting shipped to Iraq. Well, they've arrived and are being tested.
If you've ever worked for the military, you know they don't speak English, but Acronymish. So, the generator is called TGER ("tiger") and the acronym stands for Tactical Garbage to Energy Refinery. The prototype, which uses a variety of technologies to run an electrical generator, will be tested until August. If it works, more are on the way to smaller camps and possibly to disaster relief sites.
Right now, the military burns the http://www.smartersecurity.com/generic-form-of-levitra trash in incinerators, emitting icky emissions and eating up a lot of fuel, time, and human power since it takes quite a few people to where can i buy real viagra run one. Also, cutting down on the use of diesel fuel is especially important since the trucks that haul the fuel are basically moving targets sure to make huge bangs. Decreasing casualties is cheap discount cialis a priority, and what better reason to get on cheap generic viagra india to using waste as fuel?
The prototype accepts trash in a chute at one end, and the wet and dry wastes are separated. The dry trash is crushed, pelletized, and fed into a gasifier where the pellets are heated until they're turned into synthetic gas, which then fuels the generator. The wet waste is converted with the use to enzymes into hydrous ethanol, which is then blended with synthetic gas to boost the generator's output to 55 kw. There are hopes to levitra generic india improve the best prices for propecia technology so that literally all trash goes in one end, and electricity comes out the other – kinda the goal we all have for waste-free living. And the improvements are needed, since start-up time is a full 6 hours, and takes up about 1 gallon of diesel fuel an hour. But once started, it is reported that it runs at 90% efficiency. I'm a little incredulous about that, but we'll see what folks say at the end of August.
With folks like BlueFire and others already working on this, it seems like highly efficient, easy to use trash-to-electricity technology is on the cusp of www.roli-guggers.de being large scale reality.
Via Cnet
written by Andrew Leinonen, June 20, 2008
I still wonder about the ability of such a portable unit to incorporate all the necessary emissions scrubbing hardware to clean up the inevitable toxic byproducts of combusting general waste...
written by The Food Monster, June 20, 2008
One day if we can get those to produce more electricity than we require, Every city in America should have one, it would save us all of the land for landfills.
written by Thom, October 11, 2008
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Post-Christmas sales: What to expect
Just as Black Friday became Black Thursday, expect more after-Christmas sales to begin before Christmas Eve.
This post comes from Louis Ramirez at Dealnews.
Despite the fact that many of us have already spent several weeks seeking out gifts for loved ones, the shopping season doesn't come to an end once Christmas rolls around. In fact, Dec. 26 is traditionally a very busy day for shoppers. Whether you're using a new gift card or secretly making a gift exchange, retailers tend to bombard shoppers with post-Christmas sales.
Even here at Dealnews, we posted 50% more after-Christmas sales in 2011 than 2010.
What can you expect from retailers this year? We combed through 2011's best sales to offer some predictions for 2012.
After-Christmas sales will start early
Before you even think about the sales, it's important to know that, like Black Friday (which edged its way into Thanksgiving), we expect to see after-Christmas sales starting earlier than usual. Last year, confirmed after-Christmas sales began going live as early as Dec. 23. This year we expect more of the same, and since Christmas Eve falls on a Monday, we wouldn't be surprised to see a few branded sales begin as early as Friday, Dec. 21.
It's also worth noting that last year Dec. 26 fell on a Sunday, when people had the leisure of shopping online or in-store. This year it falls on a Wednesday, when many people will be back at work, so retailers will have to fight even more to get your attention. You'll likely see big headlines and discounts, which may be great for getting your attention but may not always offer the best deals. So naturally we recommend keeping a focus on the items you want to buy.
More sales, but fewer Editors' Choice deals
In 2010, 35% of the deals posted on Dec. 26 were Editors' Choice caliber. Last year that number fell to just 13%. This drop in percentage is partly due to the fact that the overall quantity of deals we posted after Christmas in 2011 was 50% higher than the previous year; however, the total number of Editors' Choice deals was still down slightly year over year.
For 2012, we predict that the number of after-Christmas sales will increase again, but Editors' Choice offers will remain roughly the same.
For comparison, the number of Editors' Choice deals posted on Black Friday 2011 and Black Friday 2012 remained steadfast at roughly 38%. And while a lower percentage of Editors' Choice deals indicates that after-Christmas deals won't be as strong as the deals we saw on Black Friday, there are certain items that will see better discounts, including brand-name HDTVs, Christmas decor, and more.
The best things to buy right after Christmas
So where exactly should you turn for the best after-Christmas sales? In addition to brick-and-mortar discounts from the likes of Toys R Us, Old Navy, and Victoria's Secret, last year we also saw discounts from many online retailers like Amazon, Newegg, and 6pm.
And while we saw sales across all product categories, apparel rang in the most deals, with discounts ranging from 40% to 90% off with stacking coupons. For in-store shoppers, printable coupons took an extra 20% to 40% off single items, or in extreme instances, printable coupons took 50% off non-sale items. Brand names to look for include Barneys New York, J. Crew, and L.L.Bean.
Gadget fans should take note, too. If you didn't find the perfect tech deal over the holidays, all hope is not lost. Specific categories like brand-name HDTVs and a number of consumer electronics traditionally see more aggressive discounts post-Christmas than they do in the weeks leading up to the holidays.
More on Dealnews and MSN Money:
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Why Grenada?
St. George's – the capital of Grenada – may not roll off the tip of your tongue as a destination when you think about the Caribbean, but this island is about to take off. Why? Because it has practically everything – except a lot of direct flights, but any extra effort to get there is well worth it.
Kirani James winning an Olympic gold in the 400m – a first for the island with a population of only 103,930 – did Grenada proud. And that sort of publicity that you couldn't buy is going to attract tourists. So if you want to beat the invading hoards, book your trip immediately. No, not next month – now. Got it?
Long known for its spices, this 21 by 12 mile island was first colonized by the Spanish. It then yo-yoed between the British and the French before becoming independent in 1974. Nutmeg leads the spice pack and is found in everything from ice-cream to rum to liniment to sooth your aches and pains. But cloves, ginger, cinnamon, mace and allspice are also in the line-up, which explains why Grenada truly is the "spice island."
In Grenada, contemporary history in measured in terms of pre-and-post-Ivan. This 12-hour-level-3 hurricane on September 17, 2004 wreaked havoc. And everyone has an Ivan story. "We had to make out way down the hill to the church and it was hard to move my mother because she is in a wheel-chair. There were no leaves left on the trees," sighed Jenny, "and no birds." But rather than being down and dusted, the island spirit prevailed and - like the nutmeg trees - is making a comeback. And as Grenada reinvents itself, it is poised to be "the" next hot-spot destination for the savvy traveller. And just remember that you read it here first.
In addition to sun, smiles, sand, surf and spice, this people-friendly island has a love affair with reggae and the music pulsates from all available mini-taxis, restaurants, bars and shops. The tranquil pace on the island generates a charm that allows you to slow down and, well, smell the spices.
A Day Trip Around St. George's
Known as The Town to the locals, St. George's is a place where walking is the primary form of transportation. Check the maps – one of the centre of town and the other heading south.
Really you can start and finish your day trip anywhere you want, but here is a suggested itinerary. Begin at the Grenada National Museum on the corner of Young and Monckton Streets. Here you can check out the displays of pre-Columbian, colonial, independence and post -independence displays.
When you emerge from the somewhat dimly lit museum turn left and head for Tikal. This shop was opened by the charming and energetic Jeanne Fisher – whose exact age is a badly kept state secret – in 1959. About 85 per cent of the arts and crafts are locally made, with the remainder coming in from surrounding countries like Haiti to help support the people there. If you want some original art, check Sandra Fisher's paintings. She is Jean's daughter and her work is distinct and influenced by the island.
Foodies will want to pick up a copy of Wendy Hartland's Great Grenada Recipes. Dark chocolate lovers beware: You will drool over Mott Green's organic concoction, but try not to drip on the island soaps or the malachite and amber jewellery in the display cases. The Grenada Chocolate Company just keeps winning awards and accumulating accolades. And the chocolate bars make a perfect easy-to-pack gift for those unfortunates who were left back at home.
Then pop across the street to the Grenada Arts Council and check out the local talent. It is a struggling operation, so leave a donation in the jar at the entrance.
Double back and head for the Sendall Tunnel. Dug out and reinforced in 1894, the Tunnel Sendall links the two side of the Town, namely the Carenage and the Bay Town. Rumour has it that this narrow tunnel – one lane of traffic with pedestrians hugging the left-side wall– is the largest flat stretch of land on the hilly island.
Once through the Tunnel, head for the Espanade Mall. This duty-free shopping paradise backs onto the cruise ship dock. And when a couple of ships dock at the same time the entire area becomes totally foreigner-infested. To get a discount you have to present your ticket with a 48-hour turnaround time. If you get a touch lost or confused about where to go to find something, check in at the Duty Free Caribbean and ask to speak to Shirley. She will get you sorted.
Time for lunch so head for BBs Crabback. The seafood in this family-run-location-perfect-on-the-water-front restaurant is so fresh it makes you wonder if they have somebody in a boat just outside. Check out the special of the day with Anna or Brian if you are hungry. Or decide on something from the menu if you want a smaller meal. A personal recommendation – which originated with Anna – is the sizzlar lambi, succulent spiced conch.
A cheap and cheerful choice is Creole Shack, upstairs in Andall's Supermarket. This is where the locals eat lunch, so the line-ups at noon-ish can be intimidating. Traditional Caribbean dishes – such as dashee, oil down (the officinal national dish) or roti - are on offer so you can point at what you want and the server will add it to your plate. There is a bar so you can pick up a Carib or a Stag to swig with your meal.
The television for the sports bar is next to the buffet downstairs, but you can escape to the upstairs deck with an ocean vantage-point. Karaoke abounds on Friday and Saturday nights for those so inclined.
Head south along — either along the beach or on the road — and stroll around the Port Louis Marina. Sit at the outdoor café overlooking the harbour and watch the boats float around.
If you want a hit of modern shopping, stop at the Spiceland Mall. No surprises there as it is one of those places that could be anywhere in the world. Yawn.
Time for dinner. Chances are you are at Grand Anse Beach where 90 per cent of the visitors stay. So chill out, take a shower to wash off the sweat of the walk and enjoy a rum cocktail. What? You don't have any rum and fizzy? Tisk, tisk you should have picked up some your earlier walk. No problem as there is a run shop about every ten paces. More on that later.
Splash out and try local cuisine that lives up to international standards and head for Oliver's at the Spice Island Beach Resort. Reservations are recommended and dress is "elegantly casual evening attire." The menu changes daily, but always includes two appetizers, two soups, five entrées — one of which is a vegetarian selection — and four desserts. During the peak season there is a buffet dinner on Friday nights. A local band plays four or five times per week during the peak-season and three evenings in low-season.
Insider tips and other suggestions:
For those who want to swot up on their history of the island read Grenada: A History of Its People by Beverly Steele.
The party-hearty can take a Rhum Runner cruise. Dance, drink, eat is the main theme, complete with a steel band and a beach stop.
If you are doing the town on Saturday, a must-visit place is the Grand Anse Craft & Spice Market.
The hail and hearty head up the hill to Fort George, 175 steep feet above sea level. Donations to the historic site are tax deductible for Americans.
The National Cricket Stadium may appeal to sports enthusiasts. If you are so inclined, head north on Halifax Street from the centre of town and check it out.
Side-Trips Close to Town
Le Phare Bleu Marina & Boutique Resort at Calivigny Bay 8001. A bit of a jaunt, but well worth it. If you are tired, check out the Pool Bar Restaurant as it is a touch early for the Lighthouse Ship Restaurant. This place caters to events – such as wedding, graduations and the like – so there may be some action. According to Lynn – who manages the operation for the Swiss couple who own it – Le Phare is "like a little village. It has everything – restaurants, a mini-market, a hotel and place where you can moor your yacht."
Stop in for a drink and a snack in the mid-afternoon and enjoy the ambience.
Transportation for going further afield
Travel like the locals and flag down a taxi-van. This hop-on-hop-off option is cheap, efficient and a good way to meet the locals. Drivers have even been known to reverse the vehicle for a block or so to pick up passengers.
Rent a car. There is no shortage of choices and types of vehicles. Vista Rentals offers a new fleet and complimentary mobile phone with each rental: www.vistarentalgnd.com
Contact Justin Louison at Exotic Discovery Taxi & Tours
Home Telephone: 1-473-443-5056
Mobile: 1-473-403-7184
E-mail: email@example.com
Day Trips from St. George's
Petite Anse
Head for this idyllic resort on the wind-swept north shore of the island to truly get away from it all. Allow an hour to an hour and a half to get there and enjoy the scenery along the way. The three road options include going up the west coast road, heading across the middle Grand Etang or taking the long way around the east coast. Go up one way and come back another for variety.
Tucked away down a winding dirt road is an opportunity to indulge in isolated paradise. This charming places runs on the personality and charm of Phillip and Anne Clift, the British couple who carved the resort out of the tropical rainforest.
What is there to do at Petite Anse? Swim in the pool. Sit and do nothing – such a precious indulgence. Go for a walk. Stroll back and forth on the sheltered beach. Explore Sauteurs, a nearby village. Have Max the chef whip you up one of his famous rotis for lunch or dinner. In summary, just get away and relax at a resort where the motto is "no shirt, no shoes, and no problem."
Bathway Beach
"Don't go out beyond the protective reef," warns Miss Johns, a teacher at the St. Victoria Special Education School, "because people disappear there. The body may or may not be washed up on shore" And the tone of her voice conveys the seriousness of being so foolish as to venture out of the safe area and chills your blood a few degrees.
The locals all know this beach and it is packed with picnicking families on the weekends and everyone on the island for holidays and festivals. But the tourists tend to stay in the area around the Grand Anse Beach so, chances are, you may be the only foreigner.
Photo credit: Grenadaexplorer.com
Agnes's Rum Shop
Rum – which comes in mild, medium and knock-off-the-top-of-your-head – is the tipple of choice in the Caribbean and Grenada is no exception. And it is ubiquitous. Saunter into any little shop that sells cigarettes, sugar, toothbrushes and bread and there will be bottles stashed under the counter. Buy a 1/8 or a ¼ or go for broke and get the whole bottle. It is mixed with locally made fizzy drinks and slides down very easily. Just be sure it doesn't return to whack you on the back of the head.
Agnes runs a rather non-descript shop along with her daughter Jenny, quoted earlier. The store used to be on the other side of the road, but Ivan nudged it across the way, so they took it as a sign from the heavens and left it there.
If you can't find Agnes's little shop on the road between Bathway Beach and Sauteurs, stop at any of the other similar places along the way. Beer, for those who prefer it, is also on offer.
Head for the hills
Hikers, bikers and trekkers can head for the Gran Etang Forest Reserve and the many waterfalls. I don't "do" nature so there are no recommendations.
Jody Hanson is an insufferable travel junkie who has visited 102 countries. On an island hopping junket in the Caribbean in July 2012 she had the opportunity to spend a week in Grenada. There she had the fortune to meet the remarkable Anne Clift, who has lived on the island since 2007.
To say everyone knows Anne – remember the population is only 103,930 – is not an exaggeration. A trained nurse, she regularly stitches wounds, dresses cuts, takes temperatures, reads blood pressures, monitors blood sugar levels and doles out medications to many of the locals who cannot afford even basic medical care. Driving down the road she is greeted with waves and a chorus of people calling out Misssss Annieeeee. Her reception comes a close second to Kirani's victory parade.
Jody Hanson is an insufferable travel junkie who has visited 102 countries. On an island hopping junket in the Caribbean in July 2012 she had the opportunity to spend a week in Grenada. There she had the fortune to meet the remarkable Anne Clift, who has lived on the island since 2007.
To say everyone knows Anne – remember the population is only 103,930 – is not an exaggeration. A trained nurse, she regularly stitches wounds, dresses cuts, takes temperatures, reads blood pressures, monitors blood sugar levels and doles out medications to many of the locals who cannot afford even basic medical care. Driving down the road she is greeted with waves and a chorus of people calling out Misssss Annieeeee. Her reception comes a close second to Kirani's victory parade.


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SwarovskiNews and articles about Swarovski
Swarovski announces Miranda Kerr as AW14/15 campaign muse
Comprising of seven visuals, the campaign highlights key seasonal trends worn by Kerr which stand out of the AW2014/15 collection.
Swarovski features in The Saturdays' latest music video
The girl group will be sporting both men's and women's pieces from the Nirvana collection the video, which will be released on May 23
Chamilia unveils Wish bead in support of Make-A-Wish charity
Chamilia has this month unveiled its Wish bead, from which the brand is donating £12 to the Make-A-Wish charity for each bead sold.
Stephen Webster creates jewellery for Skyfall
The fine jewellery designer has teamed up with Swarovksi to create pieces for the 23rd Bond film, out in October
Christmas comes early at CMJ event
Retailers and suppliers celebrated Christmas early at the Company of Master Jewellers' (CMJ) autumn trade event, which took place on Sunday and Monday, and was the buying group's largest to date.
Jewellery designer Xiao Zi Yang wins the Swarovski Elements Jewellery awards at ITS
The Shanghai-born designer was given the award for her piece using Swarovski Elements, which was inspired by Asian joinery used in timber architecture
Lola & Grace launches second London store
Swarovski launches limited edition Erika & Eliot Around the World pieces
Swarovski HQ relocates to Chiswick Park
Swarovski reveals plans for lola&grace
Robinson Pelham designs penguin egg for Fabergé Big Egg Hunt
Swarovski chooses The Jewellery Show for its latest UK showcase
Jack & Jones and Swarovski open first UK out-of-town stores in Glasgow
More than stones: Lola Rose's metal-based rings
Tiffany & Co and Swarovski achieve top ranking in online study
Swarovski theme for Christmas 2011 at Harrods
Swarovski presents Gem Visions 2012 trends
Swarovski's Nirvana ring available to win in monthly sweepstakes
Peter Lang Australia gains Swarovski Crystallized as a stockist
Elizabeth Galton returns with luxury e-tail site
Swarovski unveils Central Saint Martins design winners
Swarovski Gems launches Zirconia Diamond Colors at Baselworld
Kleshna raises cash for Royal British Legion with poppy collection
Swarovski opens doors to flagship Oxford Street store
Jeweller John Pass takes on Thomas Sabo
Jewellery brand Yvette Ries re-launches in the UK
Pearly Prince Elephant raises £18k for World Land Trust
Swarovski set to open flagship Oxford Street Store
One to one: Kleshna Handel
It was an appearance on The X Factor that put Kleshna's work in the spotlight but this isn't a tale of fame found overnight, as Laura McCreddie discovers
Stone gods: Diamond trends
While diamonds are being used in less classic settings, they remain one of the most desirable stones. Laura McCreddie looks at their allure, changing trends and the rise of synthetics.
Kleshna inspired by origami for new range
British jewellery designer Kleshna has unveiled her new Love Birds collection, which was inspired by the Japanese art of origami.
Karen Morrison unveils spring/summer 2011 collection
Jewellery designer Karen Morrison has released her spring/summer 2011 collection.
Karen Morrison
These chandelier earrings, part of Morrison's latest collection, feature five graduated chains made of sterling silver and 22ct gold.
Swarovski launches this Nasty necklace in spring as part of its Wings of Poetry range.
Swarovski launches first ever men's collection
Jewellery brand Swarovski is poised to launch its first ever men's jewellery collection in stores from January 2011, which it has created due to increased demand for a men's range.
Leather cuffs from Ice London Jewellery
This statement wave-design leather cuff is new from Ice London Jewellery.


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Jan 1, 2013
In his first interview with the foreign or local print media after taking office in December, Mexico's new finance minister Luis Videgaray says he is confident political consensus now exists to shake up state oil company Pemex and overhaul the country's fiscal regime through a bold set of reforms to be carried out this year.
Mexico City, December 14, 2012
How would you characterize the Pact for Mexico? What is its
central vision?
First and foremost it's an opportunity. It's a broad
political agreement to carry out some significant
changes in public policy, particularly in economic policy, to
make some changes that we all know need to be made on the
fiscal side, in energy and in competition, to name a few, that
are long overdue.
This is an important achievement, to have an
agreement. But the true achievement will be to make it happen.
So therefore, the Pact is an opportunity. We want to seize that
One of the key elements of the Pact is calling for
a broadening of social welfare. Is it fair to say that the Pact
is essentially calling for the creation of a welfare state in
The Pact is based on the belief that we need...
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Sep 30, 2014 | New York City
The preeminent social affair for key players in the Latin American financial and capital markets....
Are populist governments like Venezuela & Argentina turning pragmatic?
In some ways
"[While] it's good to build more infrastructure and increase investment, you have to be conscious about the macro effects of too big an increase in domestic demand, including of course public expenditure."
Julio Velarde, Peru central bank
All material is subject to strictly enforced copyright terms & conditions and cannot be repurposed or reproduced. © 2014 Latin American Financial Publications Inc.


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The disgusting ingredient in Gatorade
A petition against brominated vegetable oil found in Gatorade adds to bad beverage news for consumers.
Today's entry on the list of Terrible Things You're Drinking: Flame retardant.
Thank a Change.org petition circulated by 15-year-old Sarah Kavanagh of Hattiesburg, Miss., for reminding everyone that PepsiCo (PEP) product Gatorade -- along with 10% of other drinks sold in the U.S. -- contains brominated vegetable oil (BVO).
It's supposed to keep the flavors in citrus drinks from separating into orange-tangerine-grapefruit slick floating atop a bed of seltzer, but it's so named because it contains bromine, which is the same element found in the flame retardant used on upholstery and children's items like pajamas. How refreshingly noncombustible.
It's just the latest bit of bad news for the the American convenience store drinker this year. Already, tallboy cans of Monster Energy (MNST) faced scrutiny in a lawsuit filed after a 14-year-old Maryland girl died last year from heart problems after drinking the sugar-packed beverage on two consecutive days. Monster's pint-sized competitor, 5-Hour Energy, drew similar criticism last month when its high levels of B vitamins and the amino acid taurine were cited in 13 reports of drink-related deaths submitted to the Food and Drug Administration.
Back in March, the Los Angeles Times reported that the Center for Science in the Public Interest found high levels of 4-methylimidazole, an animal carcinogen, in Coca-Cola (KO) and Pepsi products, though the FDA disputes the claim. Both of those companies are fans of BVO, as PepsiCo adds it to both Gatorade and Mountain Dew, while Coca-Cola puts it in Powerade, Fresca and Fanta Orange. and Dr. Pepper Snapple Group (DPS), for its part, uses BVO in Squirt and some Sunkist brands.
As with the chemicals in the drinks above, the bromine found in BVO creates its share of problems once ingested. When used in flame retardants, research has found that it can build up in both the body and breast milk. Studies link that buildup to neurological disorders, reduced fertility, hormonal changes and advanced puberty.
Brominated vegetable oil has been linked to short term issues, including cramping, blurred vison, teariness, vomiting and cyanosis (that's right, it can turn your skin blue), but it also lets bromine build up in fatty tissues. In rats, this leads to heart lesions. In humans, it's been associated with memory loss, birth defects and growth problems. An article in Scientific American found that video game players who chug mass quantities of Mountain Dew and other BVO-laden drinks to keep their edge wind up with skin lesions, nerve disorders and memory loss.
BVO's beverage use and potential dangers aren't exactly breaking news. A Yahoo columnist typed out a screed against it four years ago, while regulators have been less than enthusiastic about its use for decades. According to the New York Times, the Flavor and Extract Manufacturers Association revoked approval of BVO in 1970 after its studies couldn't definitively prove it was safe. In 1977 the FDA ruled that BVO up to 15 parts per million was safe for use in fruit-flavored beverages, but stressed that the approval was a temporary measure pending further study. By comparison, wood rosin is a approved for the same purpose at 100 parts per million.
Nearly four decades later, those studies haven't happened because, as its spokeswoman says, they "would require an expenditure of FDA's limited resources, which is not a public health protection priority for the agency at this time." Meanwhile, the European Union has banned its use in food and Japan is moving in the same direction.
Even if the FDA can't scrape up enough spare change to consider similar action, beverage companies might be swayed to act on their own. Back in February, McDonald's (MCD) and other companies stopped making burgers out of meat bits treated with ammonium hydroxide -- better known as "pink slime." Starbucks (SBUX) stopped using dye made of acid extracted from cochineal bugs as its pink food coloring in April after being pressured by a Change.org petition similar to Kavanagh's.
Perhaps one day a thirsty consumer will be able to open a store's cooler and not have to worry about drinking a bottle or can full of potential lesions. Until then, even dubious tap water is less costly than playing Russian roulette with the colorfully packaged chemicals in the drink aisle.
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Markets across most of Asia ended on a lower note, while Japan's Nikkei was closed for Autumn Equinox.
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Friendships and Financial Inequality
Published on - August 29th, 2012 (by Kristin Wong)
This article is from staff writer Kristin Wong.
A few years ago, I started spending time with a coworker outside of work. She was cool, fun to hang out with, and we had a lot in common. Except income.
She worked in a separate department and made significantly more money than I did. Hanging out with her and her friends usually involved dining at fancy restaurants, drinking at fancy bars, and talking about whether we'd go to Greece or St. Bart's — I hadn't been to either.
Today, we're no longer friends. It's not because we had some falling out or personality clash — we just came from two totally different worlds. After turning down a slew of invites, not being able to vacation with her, and generally saying 'no' to friendly financial pressure, we grew apart.
Frankly, I just couldn't afford the friendship.
Financial inequality often becomes an issue in friendships. It's probably much harder to deal with in relationships, but it can still take a toll on friendships. It has for me, and lately, I've been wondering — how do you deal with making significantly more or less than your friends?
Problem #1: Guilt and Jealousy
When our friends begin to reach their financial goals, it can make us sensitive. It can remind us of our own goals that we're struggling to reach. GRS writer April Dykman once wrote about this topic, pointing out that one person's success can often signal a friend's failure.
I can relate. I have friends with some pretty big accomplishments under their belts. They've written movies; they've published books. I hate to admit it, and it's not very endearing, but I'm jealous. Sure, I'm happy for them and all. But more so, I'm jealous. I want to do those things, and the more they succeed, the more I think, "I'm not succeeding at that."
Similarly, when our friends start to monumentally surpass us financially, I think it's only natural to self-reflect. And that self-reflection can lead to jealousy. If that jealousy inspires us to reach our goals, that's one thing; if it builds resentment, that's another.
Conversely, the other person — the one who's making more money — might start to feel guilty. Especially if you feel like your income inequality is causing a rift in your friendship, you might start to feel like it's your fault for "changing."
Solution #1: Communication
For my MSN job, I interview a lot of relationship experts, psychologists and therapists. When I talk to them about relationship problems, their solutions always go back to one thing — communication. It might be cliché, but it's important. If you're having feelings of guilt or jealousy, it's important to talk about it. Money is an awkward subject. But the longer you bottle in your feelings, the more resentment will fester, and then awkwardness will thrive.
Last year, I met a new friend who loves going out all the time. I began feeling the same way I did with my old coworker — like we couldn't afford to be friends. But this time, I decided to not let that get in the way. I flat out told her, "I can't afford to do these things." Interestingly, we still hang out, and since then, she's even told me, "I can't afford to go out to dinner. Let's hang out at my place instead."
A simple act of communication salvaged — nay, improved — my friendship.
Problem #2: Giving and Taking (Advantage)
You should treat friends sometimes. Especially if it's your idea to go to a fancy place and you make more money than they do, you shouldn't have a problem with picking up the tab sometimes.
That being said, it's easy to take advantage of a friend who enjoys giving. Even the nicest, most polite of us sometimes take advantage of people without even realizing it. My parents, for example, always insist on paying when I visit them in Texas. While I don't mean to take advantage, I've come to expect it. It's not right, but it's easy.
After college, I started my first "real job." The pay wasn't spectacular, but it was better than the near-minimum wage I was making while in school. A good friend of mine was still in college, making near-minimum wage. We would go for drinks every Friday night, taking turns on picking up the tab. But when I got my new job, suddenly it was assumed that I should start paying the tab week after week. When I inquired about this, my friend's answer was: "well, you make more than me now." Our new income inequality meant that I had to make things equal by paying most of the time.
Solution #2: Set Boundaries
I told my friend that this wasn't how things were going to work. I shouldn't have to pay each time simply because I made more money. Also, I explained that I now spent a lot more time working and I moved into a nicer, more expensive apartment. So my "entertainment fund" was about the same as it used to be. It was an awkward conversation, and for a time, I felt like money caused a rift between us. But it needed to be said; boundaries needed to be set.
On the other side of the coin, all of us have that one friend who always insists on paying. Sometimes it gets to the point where you just get used to it — like with my parents. If that friend doesn't feel the need to set financial boundaries, find other ways to repay them. That could mean babysitting, helping them with home repairs, etc. You might earn significantly less than they do, but your time is still valuable.
Problem #3: Growing apart
As your net worth starts to drastically differ from your friend's, growing apart may be easy. I hated nodding and smiling while my old coworker talked about what the weather was like in Santorini this time of year. Similarly, while I live a pretty middle-of-the-road lifestyle, I still have some friends who have to worry about paying the bills each month. It's hard for me to talk to those friends about certain topics. We can't talk about things like savings goals, for example. Or even simpler things — like cable alternatives or road trips. When I talk about those things, I feel like I'm inadvertently being condescending, as those are not even options in their financial lives right now. Sometimes, this makes conversation difficult, and often, I feel like we're growing apart.
Solution #3: Keep Traditions Alive
It's important to keep doing the things you were doing. If you used to invite your friend over for Sunday dinner, don't stop doing that just because you (or they) start making more money. Your lifestyle and priorities may change, but keeping the traditions alive will help ensure your friendship stays in tact.
I don't know all the answers, as this is something I'm in the process of dealing with. The sentimental side of me thinks that true friendship won't let a little thing like financial inequality get in the way. After all, laughter, love and understanding are the elements that make friendships thrive, and they're also free.
But there is the unpleasant reality that sometimes, friendships end. It's the last resort answer to all of this, but it happens. Maybe the income gap is too big an obstacle for a friend. Or maybe you set boundaries, and they just don't get it. For whatever reason, I suppose, sometimes, you just have to accept the end of a friendship and learn to move on.
These are the problems and solutions I've come across, and I'd like to ask — has financial inequality ever been an issue in any of your friendships or relationships? If so, what happened? How did you deal with it?
This article is about Real-Life, Relationships
I had a roommate that would nickel and dime us when we graduated from college. If the cable bill went up 27 cents he divided it by our percentage of the bill and wouldn't refill the toilet paper if one of us forget it was our turn to buy. It was sad but that caused rifts and I don't talk to that person as much anymore. I had no problem paying for these things but it was the extreme detail he divided everything by that just got too old very fast. Instead of splitting a bill three ways he'd go as far as dividing the tax up. While I agree that we all need to pay our share it would have all worked out in the end and he was just saving himself a few cents or at most a dollar or two. Sad thing to grow apart over.
Yikes. Unfortunately, I can completely relate. I had an almost identical situation with a roommate. She was such a cool person, but after we became roomies and I got massively taken advantage of, it was hard to want to keep in touch with her. It's amazing how different people can be once money is involved!
Sounds like an ex of mine I lived with 9 years ago. Everything was split exactly down the middle regardless if we lived together or not. Groceries, meals out, utilities, etc. He made a lot more than I did, but that didn't matter. It was exhausting to say the least.
This year a friend really wanted to have a big shindig for her 40th birthday. In San Diego. I'm a big fan of birthdays. Big, big fan. But right smack dab in the middle of the summer, with prior commitments already existing, air fare, hotel, pet sitter, and spending money for someone else's birthday, was just not in the cards.
I sent a very nice email saying as much. Also detailing how we were looking forward to a night on the town here to ring in her big 4.0. We've celebrated birthdays with this person for about 8 years.
I haven't heard from her since.
I had one friend (she is now late) who took advantage of me. This went on for quite a few years before I realized what was happening. I sat her down and told her that I would not help her again no matter what because of her 'short handedness'. I stuck to my word and she stopped asking me for anything but we continued being good friends minus money exchanging hands. On the other hand, I have two friends who are the most generous people I know. When going out, we sometimes go dutch and sometimes any of us picks up the tab for no reason other than she wants to treat her friends. We have been friends for almost 20 years and have had no problems regarding money issues whatsoever. That is the kind of friend I like.
It'd be nice if money didn't get in the way of friendship, but like you said "laughter, love and understanding are the elements that make friendships thrive," not money. But money can create rifts in understanding, which decreases the laughter, and pretty soon the love dies too. Keep up that understanding, which means keep up that communication!
Agreed! It always goes back to communication, doesn't it?
This was a great article. My wife and I are experiencing something very similar with some close friends. I met my wife at my college roommate's wedding. I was an usher, she was the maid of honor. Anyway, both my college roommate and my wife's friend come from a ton of money. My roommate's dad owned an engineering firm, and my wife's friend's dad was the CEO of a local hospital.
Our incomes were pretty similar at first, but since we've all started families things have really changed. My wife and I decided to scale back, so she could be a stay-at-home mom. Our friends both work and receive tons of "gifts" from their wealthy family.
I'll admit that it there are definitely times where I get jeolous. They're financial situation is just so much better than ours that we're experiencing that "drift" in our friendship. We don't have as much in common anymore, since we're quite frugal and they're quite spendy. It's a hard issue to address, because we've all been friends for a long time.
Yeah, it's hard not to get envious sometimes, and I hate that feeling. When I find myself getting jealous of something I know I can't have, I just make a list the things I DO have (In your case, your beautiful family). Simple, and corny as hell, but it helps.
It's hard when relationships get pulled on by negative emotions, especially when we often don't have a lot of control over them. One thing you might try is to read the Millionaire Next Door – there's a whole section about how people whose parents help them out with monetary gifts often struggle much more with money than those who don't, and gets deep into the psychology and pattern setting that entails. It might help you turn things on their head mentally – instead of jealousy over their advantages, you may be able to feel sorry that they're being screwed over through family kindness, and being pushed deeper into the hole. If you're feeling especially big-hearted, this can make you deeply sympathetic; if you're struggling with jealousy, this may make you feel superior. Either way, it may help you re-frame the issue in a way that stops you from feeling bad, and lets you focus on the good stuff in your friendship.
I guess I'm pretty lucky. I have friends who make far more than I do, and are much better off financially, but their idea of a good time is hanging around the house having a girls night. I will say that my friends who like the lavish vacations and dinners, myself included, are the ones who really can't afford it. Fortunately, most of these friends don't live in the same city so my splurging is limited to when they come into town. And as far as vacations, they know I always say I can't afford to go, but they still ask.
I had a situation with a friend many years ago. I was visiting him and we went out to dinner followed by drinks and a cab ride back to his house. Along the way, he always picked up the tab. The next morning, he asked for some money to help cover everything. At the time, he was working as a fund-raiser for a charity and I was a low-ranking enlisted in the military. I knew he made more than me, but I think I was assuming that he was making a lot more than me and was not surprised when he picked up the tab. Now I see that he was setting a boundary. I could easily afford to pay my part of the bill, and did so without complaining.
My late parents lived in a neighborhood that was less than what they could easily afford. Their neighbors seemed to resent that they could travel extensively when they (the neighbors)could barely afford to vacation once a year. Also neighbors noticed their more expensive car. It's something to consider when dealing with others.
Kristen brings up an interesting point about parents always paying. Mine do this too. I wonder if it is a generational thing? Do Gen-X'ers parents also cover them? Baby boomers? I doubt it. Yet I don't think our relationship will ever get to a point where we can go out to dinner normally together and have me treat. I have done it a couple times, much to their amusement, even though they know I can definitely "afford" it. there is something else going on there.
Same here (I am kind of on the border between Gen X and Gen Y). I see my family about once a month, sometimes twice. They almost always pay for food, but once in a while I will pick up the tab. They appreciate it but don't expect it regularly.
They also still spend an exorbitant amount on my Christmas and birthday gifts, which sometimes makes me uncomfortable since they are 5-6 years from retirement. However, my mom takes great pleasure out of buying things for others so it's hard to object.
I make 2x as much as my mom and my husband and I probably make 3-4x as much as my parents. My sister makes more than I do. I stopped letting my mom pay and lectured my sister on how she could NOT let our mother keep treating her. My mom has finally gotten used to it.
I can't lecture my in-laws like I can my family, so we do it about 50/50 but it always takes planning and/or sneakiness on our parts for us to pay the bill, which is additional stress and effort (but we do it anyway). We're also more likely to take them places where we order at the counter so they can't pay for us. (Back before we had money, we'd make food for them, but they prefer eating out to our home cooking.)
We're Gen X, my sister is Gen Y. Parents are all boomers.
I'm apparently the only parent here (retired with middle age kids) who got totally SICK of paying for all their restaurant meals with us. Two of our three kids have NEVER so much as bought us a hamburger.
I've tried to change the boundaries in other ways but it bred a huge amount of resentment, but I guess that's a topic for another post.
How terribly sad.
I pay about half the time with my mom – we generally pay our own tabs, but occasionally we or my folks will do an invitation and say "and i'd like to pay". My dad likes to throw money around so he generally pays, but we see him very rarely. My in-laws like to pay, they used to come visit my partner & take him and all his friends out and pay. But in recent years we had The Talk about how we make as much money as them these days and want to be grownups and pay our own way part of the time, and they took it in good humor.
My little brother never pays. For anything. He's visiting right now and it's reminded me that this is how it has always been. I want to go back in time and burn every copy of Love Your Forever and The Giving Tree that my mom was ever near.
HAHAHA! Yes, the giving tree. Not very popular in my house. 'Mommy, what does "say doe mass oh kiss tick mean"?'
Gen X here and we just got back from a trip to see family, we paid for breakfast with my parents and paid for lunch with Mr. Sam's Mom and Step-Dad, paid for fixing to make dinner at home at his Mom's house and we paid for dinner with Mr. Sam's Dad. So we picked up the bill 3 times on the trip.
It might be generational – or just family politics.
My DH and I are Gen-X and when we visit my Boomer parents they refuse to let us spend money on anything. (They even balk at letting us fill up the gas tank when we borrow their car while visiting them!) Over the years, I've watched DH and my dad "battle it out" for who gets to pay the check. Thank God, they both approach it with a sense of humor.
We've also mastered the art of sneaking away to chat with waitstaff and pay the bill before it ever gets to the table
Yeah I'm GenX and my dad frequently pays for stuff. (I'm the 'poor' one in the family – dad and bro are engineers, sister's other half is a computer scientist, I married an actor.) Funnier, my husband is a late boomer (born 1958) and his dad ALWAYS pays when we go out.
No matter what my mother always treats. I don't know if its because she knows she makes way more than I do (with a fully paid off home, no car note, etc) and/or she knows I have medical/health care expenses on top of my lower income or if its just because she wants to treat.
When she came to visit me in Portland last year, I treated her for brunch when I picked her up from the airport. She still insisted on paying the tip and everything else until she went home.
I don't think that's every going to change.
Gen X/Gen Y cusp here… My parents used to treat all the time, but now we share. There's sort of an unspoken system.
1) If it's just me and my mom, I pay.
2) If it's me and both my parents, then they pick it up if it's dinner. I pick it up if it's breakfast/lunch/brunch/coffee/etc.
3) If it's me, my parents, and my partner we trade-off if it's a nicer meal, go dutch if it's casual.
4) If I invited them out for a nice dinner, we pay, but they always chip in to cover wine or something.
My parents still insist on paying most of the time, as do my husband's parents. I'm Gen Y and he's on the cusp of Gen X/Gen Y (I'm 28, he's nearly 32). His parents are local, while mine live in my hometown a couple of states away. We've been married four years.
We're DINKs, and I'm not really sure where our income falls compared with theirs right now. All of us are solidly middle class, though, with no overly expensive tastes.
I can probably count on one hand the number of times either set of parents has let us pick up the tab. Each time required us to really stand our ground to the point of almost feeling guilty for denying them the opportunity to treat us! I think (and hope) that they just really like doing it.
If my current educational pursuits pay off and our income increases significantly in the next few years, I can certainly see pushing harder to foot the bills. But for now, I'll just let them do what seems to make them happy.
I'm 31, with two slightly younger brothers. My parents also liked to continue to treat us, but in the last few years, I've taken to picking up the tab on at least one meal per weekend visit. (One brother and I live far away, so we only see our parents three or four times a year.) My mom was laid off over a year ago, and my dad was just laid off this summer. Despite their saving an emergency fund and teaching us children good personal finance habits, I am seeing their financial house crashing down. I owe my good start in life and much of my success to them, and so I am doing all I can to help them out at this time.
When I am out with my parents we take turns to pay the bill so I pay about every third meal out.
My mother insists on buying things for me but I feel silly taking money from my parents (as I make more money than they do) so I refuse to take it is not a birthday or christmas present.
If I buy groceries to them I refuse to take money or something else that is not that expensive.
Same here–my mother will occasionally take me clothes shopping, or pay for me to have my hair done at a nice salon. But she doesn't give me cash unless it's my birthday or Christmas, and then it might be $100. I guess this way, it feels like she's treating me to a nice extra, rather than actually supporting me.
I'm either Gen X or Gen Y depending on what source you use, but as soon as I graduated college & started a decent job, I was expected to start picking up the tabs. My parents look at it, that they took care of me growing up, and now it's my turn to start taking care of them. This means that I also have a much greater say on where we go out.
Thus, everyone's responses is so unusual to me!
Gen X here too.
On our own my husband and I rarely eat out, and almost always at an inexpensive restaurant.
In contrast, my in laws like to eat out, and at pretty nice restaurants when they visit (once a month probably) and after some early awkward attempts to pay, we let them treat. They also are much more financially comfortable than we are. Admittedly this is a nice treat for us, and we are always very grateful. But we also don't expect it and always offer to make, or help make dinner (the option we can afford). It will be interesting to see if their spending habits change when they retire…
My parents also usually treat, maybe because dinner normally includes all three kids and their SO's. Though we occasionally pay when it's just the four of us (though even that takes some finagling). In contrast to the in laws, we are all very frugal, and go to less expensive restaurants, order less expensive meals and drinks, and even use coupons Actually we are most likely to cook at home, but that isn't the question. They also live much further away, so meals are much less frequent.
I really think both sets of parents seem to get some pleasure or satisfaction from treating. And I think as long as we don't expect them to treat, don't abuse their generosity (porterhouse and 20yr old scotch?), provide alternatives that we can afford, and are appreciative — it seems okay to me.
I've been experiencing a bit of this. Back when I was broke, my friends were doing well, financially. Now two of my best friends have had divorces the past couple of years and are struggling. I'm doing much better financially and its hard because much of their hardship could have been prevented. One makes more than double what I do but still lives paycheck to paycheck. I think we've all drifted apart in more ways than just the financial. I completely changed careers and now we find there isn't as much to talk about. Yes, we all used to work together once upon a time. Seems like once you are out of college, the bulk of your friends are from work.
Kristen, I too loved your article; it's a great topic. In my case, I lost a friendship at least in part because of differences in how we handled our incomes, which were about the same. (There were other, underlying reasons too, related to different cultures and our respective marriages.) "Jenny" and I had boys the same age who liked each other so we got together frequently for playdates; our family incomes were probably about the same, and $ for outings usually meant McDonald's or similar. But Jenny had a lot of problems with credit card debt, opening new cards to shift balances to pay for old cards (this was before the Great Recession), and spending for new clothing (for 3 boys), new furniture, and a brand-new minivan with little money down. Not that I didn't have any credit card debt, but I didn't misuse it to nearly the same extent. Over time, she realized I handled money better than she did and was jealous that we "had so much more." (No new furniture, clothes, or minivan though.) The final straw was when we bought a house, because Jenny coveted her own house instead of renting an apartment from her in-laws. She's refused to speak to me since, even though I tried hard to be low-key about our buying it because I knew she would feel bad. I don't mind so much losing her friendship per se, but I regret that the boys lost their friendship as well.
My sister recently told me about losing a long-standing friendship over money as well. In this case, her "BFF" felt she'd been shortchanged and actually took money out of Sis's purse to make it up. End of friendship.
Regarding parents, when Mom was alive, she insisted on picking up the tab at eateries even though she was on a very limited income. I resisted for a long time until I realized she was determined to spend/blow the money regardless of circumstance. Therefore, she could spend it on me, or spend it on scam artists, or buying things she would give away because she really didn't want them (not specifically for a charity, just because), or even just lose it from her purse. I decided then that under those conditions, I justified having her "waste" the money on me, making it clear I would pay if she wanted. I didn't think it was a generational thing; I thought it was Mom's amazing ability to fritter money away like dust in the wind.
It's sad that your friend would let that get in the way of your friendship, I'm sorry to hear that.
With people who have been friends a while, I feel like it's usually more about those underlying issues you mentioned and less about the money. Maybe the money just makes it worse or is used as a scapegoat or something…I dunno.
When I was younger, I always was the person that picked up the check. This had to do with the fact that I was still a people pleaser and then lived in a more urban area with better restaurant choices.
Now that I have many more years of life experience, therapy and common sense under my belt; this is a non-issue. I've always been able to afford to eat out and pay for others to do it with me, but now I am content to live frugally and do as I wish.
My friends are happy to join me in a low-cost activity or eat at home. It is now more important that we get together to see each other to take some time out from our busy lives. Going out to eat usually means a coffee, dessert or cheap meal together since we live in a place where the choices for great meals out are limited.
It doesn't matter where you eat or how much it costs, friends should be pleased to be with each other.
I have dear friends who are stay at home moms that are married to super successful business men. Both of them have second homes down here in Florida. So while I have some anxiety that I'm not keeping up with them, I enjoy spending time with them at their vacation homes and living their life which is not my life (i.e. shopping on Louis Vuitton store).
I have other friends who were unemployed for an extended period of time and who are now employed but still struggling. And then I have friends who are basically my peers. For the folks who are long term friends, its important for me to maintain those friendships and I do. When my rich friends are here in Florida I take advantage of their hospitality and spend time with them at their vacation homes and I see them and my friends who are not doing as well financially when I go up north for a visit. Since my long term friends are not living close to me its easier for me to ignore the disparity in finances since its not a day to day thing.
For my friends who live closer to me, I recently posted about folks that I feel are our peers but they recently upgraded to a McMansion. It is weird to see people who I feel are on the same financial level move past me and show that off. But, since its not a best friendship the move to McMansionville doesn't really impact our friendship except to make me feel like I'm not keeping up but that is okay because I don't want to keep up, I want to pay off our mortgage and not trade up.
I feel this is always an interesting balance.
My friends and I mostly don't talk about money. But we mostly seem to enjoy doing similar things – happy hour, brunch, parties at someone's home – so disparity, if it exists, doesn't come up. No one has a problem with less-expensive options.
My family always spends a lot more than I do, and it can be strange. My sister and I were talking about a much-looked-forward-to book that's coming out next month; I have it on hold at the library while she has it on pre-order at Amazon. My dad does our taxes; he says we make plenty and should spend on xyz (nice dinners, a housekeeper, for example) but it certainly doesn't feel to me like we have the money for that!
I have an issue with family members. My sister-in-law and her husband seem to think that my husband and I are just rolling in money, which we're not, and therefore resent us for the money that they think we have. It doesn't make much sense to me because I worked all through undergrad, worked through law school, and my husband is working his way through undergrad. We made our choices, she chose to get married right out of high school and have two children before she was 25, and never had any more education after high school. She and her husband also buy brand-new cars every 3-4 years, whereas my husband and I drive our cars until they die. The strangest thing is that they actually make fun of us (we've heard through other family members) for having a budget, but again, appear to resent us for having money. Bizarre. I don't feel a huge loss in not having contact with them, because I don't care much for them for other reasons, but it is sad that their perceptions and envy have caused a rift between brother and sister.
DH and I generally take turns being the "hosts" with our close friends. One friend is kind of manic about never being in anyone's debt. She can't stand "owing" me $5 for lunch.
At our age (and with most of our friends being DINKs like us) we're long past the sort of issues that arise in a person's 20s, and none of us are hurting for money.
But we've learned that in order to keep some relationships close, we have to be the organizers and sometimes that means we're the ones paying. We're okay with that.
I actually just ended a friendship over this….because my friend made so much less than me. It didn't bother me at first, but I could never call her up and say, let's take the kids here (cause she didn't have a car), or let's go to the zoo on half price day (cause she didn't have any money). Even inviting her to have lunch at my house got to be too much because she always felt indebted to me for feeding her grilled cheese (yeah, I'm a highroller). I didn't care about the money disparity; I needed a friend far more. But her pride required her to repay me equally for everything, which she couldn't. So we went our different ways. I hated ending it because it gets harder and harder to make friends the older I get.
From someone on the other end, it really does hurt. I am in the *exact* same situation as your friend was (no car, no money, nothing), and I have no friends either, partly because it's awkward for them, and me (I'm exactly like your friend, I feel indebted).
So people like her and I….just end up being alone.
I could not have said it better myself. Doing everything on the cheap gets a little old after a while when they actually have money to spend and you don't.
Excellent post! This is something more and more people are struggling with, I think. I have dealt with this gap before and dealt with it by being honest with my friends who are more financially independent at the moment. It isn't always easy, but honesty does seem to help.
Something similiar is starting to happen to me, but with sisters. I have way more disposable income than my two sisters. We all have good college degrees, but I chose a more lucrative career.
I think what is making it worse is that I am the youngest so that it is upsetting the balance of power in the family.
I am not sure what can be done. I obviously cannot drift apart and my sisters are going to notice my trip to France.
Unfortunately, I think it will become pronounced as we grow older. Even with my trips, I am saving more for retirement. (Fortunately, my sisters are finacially sound so I will never have to bail them out.)
I'd suggest that in most cases of good relationships existing within a context of financial inequality, the affluent party tend to be people who'd match the profile described in The Millionaire Next Door — i.e. people who've earned their wealth, appreciate it, take care of it, and don't tend to participate in too many activities they would consider wasteful or excessive. In other words, they don't tend to outwardly seem that different.
I would bet that Warren Buffet successfully maintains some close friendships under these circumstances.
I'd suggest that in most cases of good relationships existing within a context of financial inequality, the affluent party tend to be people who'd fit the profile described in The Millionaire Next Door — i.e. people who've earned their wealth, appreciate it, take care of it, and don't tend to participate in too many activities they would consider wasteful or excessive. In other words, they don't tend to outwardly seem that different.
I would bet that Warren Buffet successfully maintains some close friendships under these circumstances.
Excellent topic! More like this please (an article written from a person who has grown to be a lot richer than his/her friends would be a nice follow up).
I think this can also be a big issue when you start dating someone and your incomes are multiples apart.
I think this can also be a big issue when you start dating someone and your incomes are multiples apart.
This is why I rarely date (not a preference, its the way it is). There's nothing more awkward than having someone who is better off than you across the table and you having to explain your situation.
That happens more often than not.
Tell me about it. I don't date either (not that anyone asks). Not having a car, or any steady income, and having to live on charity, tends to put a damper on the romance.
Very interesting subject. Husband and I lost a whopping 30 kilos(!) each on weight, and it definitely makes our overweight friends feel guilty and a little weird… and maybe, I feel a little strange now with them too, having had that moment of personal "enlightenment" to get the diet started and then the persistence to keep doing it for many months. I moved from the Fat Lady camp into the Sexy Woman camp, and dress differently and well, live and think a bit differently than before.
Unfortunately, I don't yet have a lot of weight in money but I admit that I try to keep closer to the people with money by now than to the people without money – many of our friends have a low income and I don't mind, but I feel that when I compare us to them, I won't have the courage to move forward, moneywise. I tend to feel guilty for having more money – and that although we're far from rich. I try to raise my income so that we can acquire land (where some of our low-income friends can live with us), so it's a good goal for us all but I need that money mindset for now and it won't develop when I'm too "poor" in my head :/ It's complicated…
Lack of money is a huge reason why I have very few friends. I am extremely poor because of super-low earning power (I am extremely frugal and a saver as well), so I have very few friends. I can't afford friends. I can't afford to go to weddings, birthday parties, movies or anything. I don't even have a car, so I can't drive to where friends are.
I also can't afford to date anyone, and it's unlikely anyone would want to date me either.
How do I deal with not being able to afford friends? During the free time that I do have, I hang out alone in my room, and surf the net. The few friends I do have all live over 500 miles away, and communication is limited to a few emails every month. It's definitely a lonely existence, which is part of why I get so irritated when people smugly say "Money can't buy happiness". That is definitely not true. Money most certainly can buy a bit of happiness, especially when you have hardly anything at all. It just cannot buy joy.
Admittedly I know nothing of your circumstance, but there are probably like-minded/interested people you could join for activities (I realize no car might make that difficult).
Where I live there are hiking groups (I think some operate via meet-up, but I haven't looked lately) and other free activities. Very hard to make suggestions w/o knowing your interests and/or limitations. But certainly cost shouldn't hold you back from every activity.
I'd also suggest volunteer work (though a second job is a good idea too). Even if you don't develop friendships outside of that, you'd have interaction with others at a Food Bank (for example) and know you are making a difference to boot.
Thanks for your suggestions. I just wrote a long comment about my limitations in the comment above yours. Not having transportation of my own is a big problem, since this town is very small, in the middle of a desert, and I'm in a remote area of the town. The even bigger problem is the demographics here, as I explained in the above comment.
Meh. A lot of my friends are entrepreneur types. Sometimes they're flush. Sometimes they're broke. Much like us. We pay for each other's meals at expensive restaurants when we're flush, and enjoy the hospitality of others when we're broke.
One of my friends has an income hundreds of thousands of dollars higher than mine. We do NOT go on vacations together (grin), but we will meet at Chili's or Pepper's for a Margarita after work and compare days.
Well this is timely. I sat here today thinking about how to tell a good friend of mine that I probably won't be hanging out with him much any longer. It's not his fault, either. He and his wife are sweet, unassuming, and well off. But it's our other friend and her husband who have brought me to the point where I have decided that, for my own sanity, I need to bow out. This other couple (say, Bob and Cindy) cannot stop talking about their cruises, their new cars, their huge 401K contributions, their lavish gifts to one another, etc. They know I am struggling financially. I have even mentioned to Cindy that all this talk makes me uncomfortable.
Before they earned their wealth, we used to discuss light topics. We used to have fun. Now there is no discussion where they can't take the opportunity to criticize welfare recipients or to mention their latest acquisition. So for three hours every two weeks, instead of enjoying myself, I feel drained.
I wrote an open heart letter to Cindy last year to tell her how uncomfortable this made me, but after tears and apologies, we are back where we were. I don't begrudge their wealth; I begrudge their constant bragging.
I'm not even sure it's the wealth of a friend; it seems to be their tact in handling their relationships with others in less fortunate circumstances.
Thanks for a post very dear to my heart, Kristin. The older I get, the more fiscal inequality becomes an issue. I am by nature a very generous person, and I am regularly taken advantage of. Some I don't mind because they reciprocate in other ways. Others make me fume because I want them in my life and I don't want to become a calculative person, or if it gets too upsetting, I cut them out of my life.
Even among my siblings, it is tricky. I have two siblings living in the same city and we go out for meals on a weekly basis. They are both married with kids, I am single. We take equal turns to pay, which means I end up paying more. One sibling is conscious of this, and will try pay more often, sometimes puts money into my account or invite me around for meals, etc. The other does none of these things. Thus, I invite the reciprocating sibling over for meals more, and sometimes babysit their kids.
I have stopped dating men whose are a lot less financially secure. I don't want to make them feel bad, or stop doing things I like to do (eat out at fine dining restaurants once in a while, take overseas holidays, buy thoughtful, but sometimes expensive presents). I am frugal in certain parts of my life, but I like to spoil the people around me. I always catch myself offering to pay for things and agreeing to do things for people, and I have to learn that sometimes I end up unhappy because it becomes an expectation. I find that a lot of people mean to reciprocate, – but they never end up doing it.
I have accepted that as a childless person, I will always subsidise those with kids. What does surprise me is that parents never seem to take into account that there is a cost to someone else if you split the bill evenly, kids eat quite a bit (we often go out for shared dishes). There is the expectation to buy more and more expensive presents. One of my siblings asked me to purchase a $60 pair of shoes as a birthday gift for his 3 year old.
I don't want to take a hardline, and I wish I didn't have to 'educate' people not to take advantage of me. But I guess I have to work through my discomfort, have the tough conversation and realise that I cannot be friends with selfish people.
I'm so glad I saw this post! This has been an on-going issue between my roommate and I since last year.
Long story short, I have always made more than her due to differing industries and more work experience. She had a very hard time getting a job and when she finally did, it still paid less than mine. When we moved in together I was guilted into paying more of the rent because I made more (I do have the master room, but they are essentially the same size and I never wanted it, she told me I needed to take it to justify paying more). I never thought it was fair and she knew this but I felt guilty and helpless so that's how it has been since we moved in.
I recently quit my job to follow a career path that I'm actually interested in but I will be making substantially less money than I did before, and than even less than she makes. There is no way I can afford to pay the additional share of the rent, but I'm scared to approach her about leveling our payments. We had agreed if she got a higher paying job we would split equally.
Any one have any suggestions on how I should go about having this conversation?? We've had a very rocky friendship lately due to uneven earnings (among other things) so I don't want to have a huge fight but I simply cannot be covering other people's financial obligations on top of my own. Please help!
I think you already realize there is no magic solution here. She is going to resent the heck out of the conversation and changes to the status quo.
You just have to do it.
Sometimes it's hard to get someone who loves to treat to hand over the bill, and I must admit that I have in the past allowed myself to take advantage of the situation. Now, I'm wrestling the bill from a family member's hand at least half the time!


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The Chinese manufacturers are starting to conquer more and more markets and their vehicles have finally begun to offer satisfactory performances and prove that these guys are fast learners. However, some faults regarding the build quality and reliability still remain, but some sacrifices had to be done to keep the price as cheap as possible.
The new generation of Heavy Duty trucks from JAC is a major improvement over the previous models, but while we appreciated the technical upgrade and the more comfortable cabin, we'll have to criticize the exterior design. There isn't anything inherently wrong with it, but it's almost identical with Scania's trucks and you won't need to be an expert to spot the resemblance.


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Nazareth College's Communication Sciences and Disorders Association (CSDA) is hosting their annual Smile Dinner event.
The dinner will take place on March 28 from 6 to 8 p.m. at St. John's of Rochester, located at 8 Wickford Way, Fairport, N.Y. 14450.
Meal prices are as follows: adults and children ages 10 and up are $6, children ages 3 to 9 are $4, children under 2 are free, family of four and up are $20, and takeout is $6 per meal. There will be raffles and games at the dinner.
All of the money collected will go to the Cleft and Craniofacial Center at Golisano Children's Hospital.
Event Info
Dr. Vogler-Elias at (585) 389-2770
View more: HHS, Homepage, Student Life


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Crochet, Knitting, Needlepoint, Embroidery
Warning: this web site
is not currently maintained.
All events listed here are
intended as examples of Senior Activity Center events, but may not be
currently offered. Prices may have changed since this site was updated.
Please obtain the Senior Activity Center newsletter for updated information, or
call the center at 603 889-6155.


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Sprint Additional 1 line Framily Plan
The basics
|Additional 1 line Framily Plan
|2 Years
Included features
Optional features
Other available services
|Up to $350/line for Advanced Devices & up to $200/
|$1.99 per call, plus airtime
|May be required if credit is insufficient
DescriptionSprint's Framily Plan - Introduced January 10, 2014 "The more people added, the lower your rate." You can add up to 10 people for a monthly bill as low as $25/mo/line each. And of course everyone gets unlimited talk, text guaranteed for life and 1GB of data while on the Sprint network. You can also buy up to unlimited data—which will be guaranteed for life as well. Enjoy the Framily discount knowing that you can have separate bills for each account. So you can share all the benefits of Sprint Framily without sharing the bill. Discount is applied within 2 invoices.* *Source: Sprint Note: The price point is listed as 0 because it will change depending on how many lines you add. Current Rates: 1 line - ($55 per line) 2 lines - ($50 per line) 3 lines - ($45 per line) 4 lines - ($40 per line) 5 lines - ($35 per line) 6 lines - ($30 per line) 7-10 lines ($25 per line)


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On Monday, April 8, members of the 72nd Indiana State Police Recruit were assigned to their new posts as full-fledged Indiana State Troopers.
The 47 new troopers have been assigned to various state police districts throughout the state since their graduation on December 21, 2012. Prior to receiving their new commissions, the troopers received approximately 917 hours of structured training at the ISP Recruit School located within the Indiana Law Enforcement Academy at Plainfield. The troopers then completed a three month field training period with seasoned troopers where they were observed applying the knowledge and training gained in the academy to real life situations. Two of the 47 probationary troopers are assigned to the Putnamville Post, Trooper Ian M. Portteus and Trooper Erik S. Smith. Trooper Portteus, age 24, is an Owen County native and graduate of Owen Valley High School. After high school, he attended Indiana University-Purdue University of Indianapolis. Portteus is an avid car and motorcycle enthusiast, enjoys music and is a worship leader at his local church. He and his wife reside in Owen County. Trooper Portteus will be assigned patrol duties in Clay County. Trooper Smith, age 30, is a Sullivan County native and a graduate of Sullivan High School. Smith served in the United States Air Force from 2003 through 2011 with tours in Japan and Iraq. He is a sports enthusiast and volunteers as a boy's basketball coach for Terre Haute South High School. Prior to his acceptance in the ISP Recruit School, Smith served as a Vigo County Sheriff's Office Correctional Officer for 2 ½ years. He and his wife reside in Vigo County. Trooper Smith will be assigned patrol duties in Sullivan County.


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Book your room at Resort at Port Arrowhead
Standard Room, 2 Queen BedsMax Occupancy: 5 guests (up to 4 children)
Standard Room, 1 King BedMax Occupancy: 3 guests (up to 2 children)
Standard Room, 2 Double BedsMax Occupancy: 5 guests (up to 4 children)
Standard Room, 1 King Bed, SmokingMax Occupancy: 3 guests (up to 2 children)
Standard Room, 2 Double Beds, SmokingMax Occupancy: 5 guests (up to 4 children)
Family-friendly Lake Ozark hotel with an indoor pool
Situated near the airport, in Lake Ozark, this golf hotel is close to Osage Beach Premium Outlets. Area attractions also include Gran Rally Karts.
Hotel Features
In addition to a restaurant, Resort at Port Arrowhead features an indoor pool. Other amenities include a bar/lounge and complimentary wireless Internet access.
Room Amenities
In addition to complimentary wireless Internet access and refrigerators, guestrooms feature microwaves along with air conditioning and climate control.Information missing or incorrect? Tell us!
At your hotel
At your hotel
In addition to an indoor pool and a seasonal outdoor pool, Resort at Port Arrowhead provides a fitness center and a children's pool. The hotel offers a restaurant. A bar/lounge is on site where guests can unwind with a drink. High-speed wireless Internet access is complimentary.
Event facilities measuring 25205 square feet (2268 square meters) include conference space and meeting rooms. This family-friendly hotel also offers complimentary newspapers in the lobby, laundry facilities, and room service (during limited hours). Complimentary self parking is available on site.
- Conference space size (feet) - 25205
- Conference space size (meters) - 2268
- Number of meeting rooms - 13
- Outdoor seasonal pool
- Indoor pool
- Children's pool
- Fitness facilities
- Restaurant
- Room service (limited hours)
- Conference space
- Meeting rooms
- Total number of rooms - 203
- 24-hour front desk
- Laundry facilities
- Number of floors - 2
- Bar/lounge
- Wedding services
- Complimentary newspapers in lobby
- Express check-out
- Free self parking
- Breakfast available (surcharge)
- Free Wi-Fi
Stay connected
Available in all rooms: Free Wi-Fi
Available in some public areas: Free Wi-Fi
Park your car
Free self parking
In your room
- Connecting/adjoining rooms available
- Microwave
- Phone
- Air conditioning
- Climate control
- Complimentary weekday newspaper
- Refrigerator
- Coffee/tea maker
- Complimentary toiletries
- Hair dryer
- Shower/tub combination
- Iron/ironing board
- Cribs/infant beds available
- Daily housekeeping
- In-room safe
- Free Wi-Fi
Eat and drink
PortSide Restaurant - This restaurant serves breakfast, lunch, dinner, and brunch. Guests can enjoy alfresco dining (weather permitting).
Room service (during limited hours) is available.
An indoor pool, a children's pool, and a seasonal outdoor pool are on site. Other recreational amenities include a fitness center.
The recreational activities listed below are available either on site or nearby; fees may apply.
- Golfing nearby
- Sailing nearby
- Water skiing nearby
- Mountain biking nearby
- Hiking/biking trails nearby
- Parasailing nearby
- Miniature golf on site
The fine print for Resort at Port Arrowhead
When you arrive
Check-in time starts at 4 PM
When you leave
Check-out time is 11 AM
How you can pay
Accepted at this hotel: American Express, Diners Club, Discover, MasterCard, Visa
Your pets
Pets allowed
You need to know
Extra-person charges may apply and vary depending on hotel policy.
Government-issued photo identification and a credit card or cash deposit are required at check-in for incidental charges.
Special requests are subject to availability upon check-in and may incur additional charges. Special requests cannot be guaranteed.
- Pet fee: USD 12 per night
We should mention
The property has connecting/adjoining rooms, which are subject to availability and can be requested by contacting the property using the number on the booking confirmation.


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Bar Tool Checklist: The Basics - and Beyond
Straight Up Cocktails and Spirits
How many tools does a home bartender really need? I find I'm of two minds on this. Sometimes I want to go keep things pared down to the essentials (just a jigger, shaker, bar spoon, strainer, and citrus reamer, ma'am). Other times I find myself eyeing spherical ice molds and ornate absinthe spoons. Here's my own bi-level bar tool essentials/appealing extras list. Tell us, what's on yours?
[Note: The "Basics" here are what I consider to be bartending essentials. The "Beyonds" are not strictly essential, but definitely worth a second look - and maybe, depending on the kind of cocktails you like to make - even a buy.]
Basic: jigger
Beyond: mini-measure for precision measuring small quantities; larger measure for batching; atomizer for misting
Juicing, Muddling
Basic: paring knife; muddler; reamer, press, or other basic hand-powered juicer
Beyond: electric juicer
Basic: cocktail shaker (Boston or cobbler) and bar spoon
Beyond: high-speed blender capable of crushing ice for blending frozen drinks
Basic: ice cube tray
Beyond: spherical ice molds; ice pick; rotary ice crusher; ice bucket and tongs
Basic: hawthorn strainer
Beyond: julep strainer; fine-mesh strainer (such as a tea strainer)
Basic: sharp paring knife for making citrus twists
Beyond: Swiss peeler for making citrus strips; channel-cutter for citrus spirals; fine grater for nutmeg, etc.
How does this list compare with your own? Anything missing? Anything you think is a waste of money/drawer space? Weigh in in the comments section below.
Nora Maynard is a longtime home mixologist and an occasional instructor at NYC's Astor Center. She is a contributor to The Business of Food: Encyclopedia of the Food and Drink Industries and is the recipient of the American Egg Board Fellowship in culinary writing at the Writers' Colony at Dairy Hollow. She previously covered food and drink in film at The Kitchn in her weekly column, The Celluloid Pantry.
Related: Summer Entertaining: How to Build a Basic Bar
(Images: Nora Maynard)
4 Comments
I saw this at Pottery Barn, and I wish I could buy it. It has the recipes for classic cocktails on the side with the proportions!
I think you need to make drinks very frequently in order to justify the drawer/cupboard space of a jigger. Whatever devices you normally use for liquid measuring should suffice.
@alicelost, not in the least ! First of all, a jigger is pretty small, even in my space-impacted kitchen it's not an issue. Then, it's so much more convenient than using tablespoons. That's really the only "normal device used for measuring liquids" (I paraphrase but you get the drift) that compares. One jigger (1&1/2 oz) in one pour, or 3 tablespoons? Hmmm....I'll take the one pour. I mean seriously, we're only talking about something that's about 2-inches high here.
@alicelost. I agree compleatly! In a compact house where every inch of storage counts I can't justify the space. I have a shot glass given to me as a gift that has teaspoon/tablespoon measures on one side and ounces on the other. It's the perfect multi-function tool, dinner and baking during the week and bartending on the weekend!!


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By Peter Hamby
CNN Political Reporter
BOSTON (CNN) -- The Republican National Committee approved a resolution Friday vowing to sideline CNN and NBC from the presidential primary debate process in 2016 unless the networks abandon plans to produce programs about Hillary Clinton.
CNN recently commissioned a documentary film about Clinton, the former first lady, U.S. senator and secretary of state, that is scheduled to run in theaters and on CNN sometime in 2014.
NBC, meanwhile, is developing a dramatic miniseries about Clinton, who is considering a second presidential bid and would almost certainly enter the race as the Democratic frontrunner in 2016.
"For the first time our party rules allow us to take action on these debates. So it is time that we do what's right for our party and our candidates. And by the way, it is the right thing to do for our voters," RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said at the meeting.
In a statement released after the vote, CNN responded: "CNN Films, a division of CNN Worldwide, commissioned a documentary about Hillary Clinton earlier this year. It is expected to premiere in 2014 with a theatrical run prior to airing on CNN. The CNN broadcast date has not been determined. This documentary will be a non-fiction look at the life of a former First Lady and Secretary of State. The project is in the very early stages of development, months from completion with most of the reporting and the interviewing still to be done. Therefore speculation about the final program is just that. We encouraged all interested parties to wait until the program premieres before judgments are made about it. Unfortunately, the RNC was not willing to do that."
The seven-point resolution, which passed by voice vote, describes the television projects as "little more than extended commercials promoting former Secretary Clinton," promises that the RNC "will neither partner with these networks in the 2016 presidential primary debates nor sanction any primary debates they sponsor" unless they halt production of the programs.
The language also notes that Robert Greenblatt, the chairman of NBC Entertainment, contributed to Hillary Clinton's 2008 presidential campaign and President Barack Obama's re-election bid in 2012.
The measure goes to the heart of what Republican insiders believe was a major problem for the party during the 2012 primary process - a marathon debate schedule that kept GOP candidates off the campaign trail and led several of them to make a string of damaging statements in full view of the national electorate.
Republican nominee Mitt Romney staked out hard-line immigration positions in several primary debates - he famously called for illegal immigrants to "self-deport" - and the comments were used against him to devastating effect by the Obama campaign during the general election.
A group of Republican officials who were asked to draft a post-election "autopsy" report and plot a path forward for the party called the number of primary debates in 2012 - 20 in all -- "ridiculous."
The RNC "shall endeavor to bring more order to the primary debates and ensure a reasonable number of debates, appropriate moderators and debate partners are chosen, and that other issues pertaining to the general nature of such debates are addressed," Friday's resolution said.
The committee has no formal power to prevent Republican candidates from participating in network debates, but they could decide to enact penalties for candidates who might choose to ignore the resolution.
Before the vote, Priebus earned a standing ovation from the 168-member committee when he accused the two networks of "obvious bias" and said CNN and NBC "won't be hosting a single Republican primary debate."
"We're done putting up with this nonsense," he said. "There are plenty of other news outlets. We'll still reach voters. Maybe more voters. But CNN and NBC anchors will just have to watch on their competitors' networks."
™ & © 2013 Cable News Network, Inc., a Time Warner Company. All rights reserved.


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The decision marks the first time a court has said the state law forcing Illinois-based marketing affiliates to collect sales tax violates federal rules.
Weekly video posted on police department's Facebook page shows vehicles caught by the town's only red light traffic camera.
Internet retailer cuts off affiliates after Illinois' governor signs bill requiring in-state affiliates to collect state sales tax on purchases made by Illinois residents.
Forget MySpace. A new Illinois law says sex offenders can't use Google, Yahoo, Amazon, and many other popular Web sites.
Pluto was excommunicated from the planet world in 2006. Now, the Illinois state senate has decided that the excommunication vote was invalid and that it will reinstate the planet.
An Illinois woman is arrested after a local boutique puts out an alert about a distinctive neon leopard print dress.
MySpace won't have to reveal name of spoof profile creator in case involving Illinois official who declined to provide details of alleged defamation.
A county employee interprets the woman's Facebook comment to mean she visited an Illinois dog park without a permit.