text:
A dark angel has been set on fire, With burning love and desire
This feeling he never knew before, Yet his mind is asking for more
He curses for the feeling he calls love, It makes him feel like an angel from above
His heart holds the feeling tight, Because it's all that comforts him through the night
Rotten and dark he is inside, A fallen angel of the night
He kills mercilessly, letting no one in, His definition of love: An agonizing sin
His fight for humanity never ends, His heart is one that will never mend
He fell from the dark abyss of the sky, With no explanation of reason why
He fell hard to the concrete but no bones were broken, He stumbled down the streets pleading but no words were spoken
He knew that this heart and soul had been taken, And that meant he was forsaken
This feeling he never knew before, But his mind is asking for more
A dark angel has been set on fire, with burning love and desire
Forsaken Angel
*Note: This is the sequel to merciless Angel. If you haven't read Merciless Angel, read it here: http://thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/merciless-...
His broken body was laid gently atop of the crisp snow that covered every patch of the ground in the deserted clearing. A pool of dried and gritty blood stained the pure milky texture of the snow in random patterns around his brutalized body. Purplish bruises were embedded into his naked skin in clusters from consecutive hits. Cuts that threaded across his jeans and bare arms had turned a feverish red from the freezing cold kiss of winter. His left hand was in a grasping motion on top of his frozen chest, and his right was in the pale hand of the girl's next to him.
His left hand covered the worst wound that spotted his body—the one that he inflicted upon himself in a sacrifice to the one he loved. It was deep and clean cut almost straight through his vermillion heart in his core. A pond of blood and mutilated flesh had settled in the cut now, and deep lines protruded from the edges. It was swollen up a few centimeters from irritation and the gruesomeness of it would even make the holiest angel cringe in agony. But somehow—by some god forsaken miracle—his heart kept beating. Slightly; but still beating all the same. Blood kept flowing through his unmoving body to keep him barely hanging on the edge of survival.
Yet, just looking at him you would have thought he was surely dead. His face was like a marble statue—emotionless and unchanging. His once light filled eyes were concealed by his shaded lids and the new snowfall had left small droplets of water on his inky black lashes. His cheekbones were bruised and swollen; but none the less still prominent against his colorless canvas of a face. His full lips were colored an unnatural mauve in the dim light of the night, barely see-able underneath the painting of blood over his exposed skin. And his muscular chest moved only in slight motions that were unnoticeable to the untrained eye from respiration.
A few inches from his body there was the carefully carved handle of the dagger sticking out from in the snow, which he had used as his tool to give himself to the greater power. He had been willing to give up all he was—all his hopes, dreams, hates, desires, and so much more for the single emotion of love. He had no hesitation when it came down to the fate of his soul and body. The choice was that of an angel. A true, rightfully placed angel.
But when this angel gave up his life for the one he loved, he had not died like what was expected. By some power in heaven he was left to walk the earth with his beloved, and of course this was pleasing to the angel. But the angel didn't know what consequences were in store for him from this discovery. When the angel made the decision he hadn't thought ahead in the least. What this angel has in store for him is no easy task. He will discover what being an angel is all about. He will be forced to make decisions that will change his life forever. He will have to decided how or if humanity will be saved. He will have to decided if love is victor above all else. This angel will be tested. This angel will be hurt. This angel will will have something given to him, and something taken from him. This angel will be forsaken.
Chapter 1-(Kale's POV)
"Y-You? I thought you were dead?" He sputtered nervously, weakly struggling against my metal grip. I tightened my hold around his ice cold neck warningly.
"If I was dead you would sure as hell know it, leech. These dirty streets would be clustered full of garage—and when I say garbage I mean you and the rest of your trash gang. If I was dead," I leaned in dangerously close to his sweat stained face so that he could feel my breath on him, "All the humans would already be gone and you low lives would be starving for the need to steal the life from someone innocent and defenseless for the rest of eternity. Without me, there would be no humanity." I spat. His neck craned back and his lips twisted into an angry frown.
"Pretty high on yourself, aren't you Reject?" He snaked with a new found sense of confidence.
I laughed venomously. "I have an excuse to be conceited, do I not? I've massacred thousand of your brothers in arms with not a glimmer of mercy for any of them. I've ripped your very kind limb from limb, mutilating their flesh and bones in ways you never imagined. In fact, I killed your leader in one single swing of a sword. If that isn't reason enough for being conceited, then I don't know what is."
His black eyes glimmered in the searing moonlight of the alley, and he hatefully looked up at me. "He's going to find you Reject. He's going to kill you, and then we will utterly flourish. Your ego will not save you from his wrath, and neither will heaven. You were barred from God for your sins—and so he will not save you in your time of need. No one will. Not even the ones that love you. Remember that when you speak of your victories." He hissed. Involuntarily, a small stream of cold dripped down my spine. I had a past with prophecies, and I really didn't need another one to hang over my head and silently control my decisions.
"Thanks for that insightful look at my future, and forgive me, but sadly I don't believe any of the bull that is comes out of the mouth of a devil's slave." I shook my head aimlessly, and reached into the waist of my jeans to grab my Desert Eagle handgun. The sleek, silver metal melted into the palm of my hand willingly. I pressed the black tip of the gun against the thin material of the soulblazer's dress shirt right on top of his heart.
"Now tell me; how does it feel to know that I'm going to kill you, and you can't do a thing? Or that not a soul will hear you scream as this lead bullet drills through your heart and sends a hemorrhage of pain ripping across you for a second before you die in my unforgiving arms?" I questioned bitterly. His lips quivered spitefully in anger as he glared at me with his slightly black eyes.
"You'll get what's coming to you." He cursed under his breath. I rolled my eyes carelessly.
"Unless you mean something good like getting lucky, I'm not interested. So say your little devil prayers or whatever the heck you do before you die." I mused. He breathed heavily and closed his eyes hesitantly. I sighed impatiently and looked up into the starless night. I wondered absentmindedly if Destiny was up yet. I sure as hell hoped not because she would come out looking for me in this unsafe place. I was not supposed to up and about at all because I was on bed rest, but I couldn't stay in bed when I knew there was a soulblazer lurking just outside our residence.
"Okay, times up." I snapped, causing him to open his eyes. Instead of the fear I expected to see on his face, there was a devious smile. I didn't get time to render over what it meant because there was the cock of a shotgun behind me. My stimulated senses heard the almost silent click of a trigger being pulled, and my instincts shifted into full throttle. I twisted the soulblazer around so that we switched places and he was left helplessly in front of me.
There was a ear splitting bang as his body was crushed against mine viciously. Bullets tore through his chest, and the impact sent me flying against the concrete wall. As his motionless body fell the ground, I aimed my handgun at the shadows at the end of the alley. There were two—one muscular and bulky and one small and curvy. I quickly calculated that they were roughly ten meters away. I blindly aimed at the bigger one and pulled the trigger. The shadow moved out of the way skillfully and shot the double barrel shotgun again. I rolled to the left, landing back on my feet mechanically. The curvier figure pulled something from its waist, and it's arm flicked out towards me.
I heard a faint whizzing noise, and instinctively ducked. A dark green metal shard whipped just above my head and stuck straight into the unbreakable wall caging me in. My heart rate accelerated, and I shot my gun several times at the two figures. Miraculously they both danced out the way of the bullets in the small space. Jesus, was I fighting ninjas or something? Either way, it looked like this was going to have to be an up close and personal fight. I swapped my handgun out for my angel sword, and took off running towards them. Figure one shot the shotgun again, but I avoided it by placing one foot on the left side of the building, then pushing off and bouncing onto my other foot on the right side.
I bounded towards them gracefully like this for less than two seconds, and when I came close enough, I jumped off the walls completely and flipped my sword so the blade was facing downwards towards their nearing bodies. I got the upper hand of course, and shoved my sword right through the top of the shoulder of the smaller one. It was a female—and she screamed sharply as I forced her to the ground. My sword grounded against her collar bone and sliced most of the bordering skin right off. Blood shot out of her wound and spotted my leather jacket straggly. I yanked the sword out—leaving her withering on the ground—and turned just in time to block the male's punch with the handle of my sword. Then, as he swung again I shot my foot into his gut and sent him staggering backwards.
I looked backwards to see if the female was still on the ground—and sadly she wasn't. She had climbed to her feet and now wielded a short sword in her right hand while her left hand was grasping her wound. The look on her heart shaped face was frenzied and hungry behind her shallowly aqua eyes. It caught me off guard that they were colored because I had naturally figured that they were soulblazers defending their land. But they weren't. They were something else.
I didn't have time to ponder this because the wild female ran towards me and I could hear the male getting up behind me. I flourished swords with the female; both of us stepping skillfully and blocking out each shot. When she threw me a high shot, instead of blocking it I ducked down and pulled my handgun from me belt. I pulled the trigger and sent a bullet tearing into her stomach. I didn't wait to see her reaction, but instead moved to turn around and was cut off by the male—and his dooming fist which caught me in jawbone. I staggered, trying to recover but he moved too quickly for me to react as he smashed my sword out of my hand. It clambered against the concrete a few feet behind me right around where the female would be doubled over.
I swung my fist out and caught him the jugular, then threw a second punch at his gut. Instead of taking pain he seemed to absorb my punches and came back with twice the force I had when he tackled me. I had no chance to fight the tackle, and was forced to the ground with all two hundred and fifty pounds of him on top of me. I struggled to get free of his grasp, but it obvious that he was in power. He knocked the handgun out of hand and began to lay punches against my face.
The metallic taste of blood filled my mouth involuntarily, and I spat the crimson liquid up into his shaded face. He jolted backwards, and I took the opportunity to sit up and smash my head as hard as I could against his. As our skulls collided there was a massive crack, and though pain receded in my head; it was a successful headbutt. I shoved his limp body off of my and climbed to my feet with the purpose to get my fallen weapons, but my plans were foiled when a round object was shoved against the middle of my back.
There was the same destined click of a trigger, and an ovular bullet was send plodding into my body at extreme speeds. As it pushed mercilessly farther and farther into my body the pain it brought with it fought into my blood streams. I cried out, and fell to my knees at the mercy of the inanimate bullet. I expected them to finish me off at this moment of weakness, but instead they did the opposite. With blurry vision I saw the figures of my two enemies running out of the alley and into the street, disappearing into the foggy night without a trace. Neither showed a sign of injury to any of the wounds I caused them. I closed my eyes and tried to mentally shove the agony out of my body as I felt myself getting weaker and weaker with every breath.
"Kale?!" Destiny cried from the mouth of the alley. I heard her light footsteps running through the puddles of the alley towards me; her breathing paced and relief filled. I opened my eyes just in time to get the image of her face as she knelt down beside me and her eyes filled with warmth and serenity. Her gentle hands gripped around my shoulders and pulled my down to lean against her. "I told you not to leave the room! I've been going crazy trying to find you! What happened?" She questioned, her eyes falling on the dead body of the soulblazer.
I let myself breath in her calming scent of vanilla and lilac as I hooked my hands around her waist. "There was a soulblazer down here lurking around. I took care of him, but then two other things— and they weren't soulblazers—showed up. The female shot me." I breathed.
"She shot you?" Her voice got two octaves higher as her hands began to run up my chest feeling for a bullet hole.
"In the back. But I'm okay. It's already healing." I stated truthfully. She sighed angrily.
"And what do you mean, they weren't soulblazers? Where they humans?"
"No." I said with certainty. "They weren't human, and they weren't soulblazers. Their was something different about them..." I trailed, trying to place their oddity.
"We can figure out what they were later, but you can't pull this stuff right now Kale. You have to realize that you are weak." She noted. "And I can't believe you would just leave like that. I had no idea where you were! You could have been dead for all I knew!"
"I'm not weak." I argued, disliking how she was making it sound like I was a baby. She pulled back and looked me deeply in the eyes.
"You still haven't healed, Kale. You're body is much weaker than usual, and it can't handle trauma like this." Her hazel eyes filled with pity. "I know it's hard for you to be so limited, but I need you Kale. You can't just throw yourself into battle so carelessly with such high chances that you get killed."
"Destiny," I sat up and placed my hand on the side of her face tenderly. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'm here for you." She leaned forward and pressed her tepid lips against mine for a kiss. I kissed her back feverishly and let our lips mold together in a act of passion. The surprising heat ran into my veins, taking over the pain and replacing it with warm pleasure. But Destiny pulled away too early for me to really get a taste of her, which was unusual.
"Lets get you back inside before you pass out. We'll talk later." She whispered, standing up, pulling me with her. I wanted to argue, but she was right. It didn't hurt anymore—my messed up blood stopped pain from lasting long—but I did feel like my lids had gotten extremely heavy. She encircled her arm around my waist and lead me down the alley back towards the apartment building where we were staying.
My feet were like bricks; dragging below me with a raucous sound as I uselessly stumbled forwards. A thick haze was beginning to curtain over my eyes and blanket my senses. Destiny was right when she had said I was weaker. A month ago those people would be dead, and I would still have all my energy left to do anything I wanted. But ever since the battle against Faust a few weeks ago I hadn't been the same.
For the first two weeks after the battle I was sure I was hell rotting away in hell because I was in more pain and agony than I though humanly possible. I figured that the stab to my heart had killed me. But in reality I had just been suffering in a secluded apartment where Destiny had dragged me after she had woken up dazed and disorientated. We still hadn't talked over what had happened, or how my blood had miraculously saved her, and I was thankful for that because I had no idea what so ever how it had happened. But somehow I survived, and I was just forced to suffer unbearable pain for a while. In fact, I was still supposed to be in bed because the wound to my chest was still controlling my limitations. But I just couldn't restrain myself today.
"Don't fall asleep on me yet..." Destiny grunted as she forced open the back door of the apartment and dragged my forward. I was already to deep in slumber to reply to her. She pulled me into the elevator, and leaned me against the wall as she hit the button for floor 3. The jolt of the elevator as it began to move up made me wake up—a little.
The ride was brief; only about thirty seconds. Then there was a joyful ding and the doors slid open to reveal a battered hallway. Destiny re-wrapped her arm around me and we began the walk towards the second room on the left. She pushed the door open, and if it hadn't been for my intoxication I would have snapped at her for leaving the door unlocked. But since I was too tired to talk I just put it on my mental to-do list.
A few feet from the door she dropped me into my haven—into my bed. The mattress squeaked as I plopped my body down on it and closed my eyes instinctively willing myself into slumber.
"Rest now Kale, and don't you ever do that to me again." Destiny whispered from above me. "I can't loose you." She briskly pressed her lips against my forehead for a kiss, and then her footsteps left my side. The dream world took over then—and memories from the last two days took over my mind as I drifted to sleep.
Damp sweat beaded my forehead and brow as I grunted helplessly on the cheap twin mattress of the bed. Agony. Pure, excruciating, full on agony flooded every part of my body. From my head to my toes I was just a vessel of the deepest kind of pain. The kind that even a god sent angel would fall mercy to. It was a constant, pending weight crushing on my chest every time I dared to breath. For every slight movement I made, another boulder was dropped onto me from above. I didn't even fight against the hot tears when they began to pour out of my eyes anymore.
My blood felt it was flowing the wrong way—working against my body instead of with it. Everything inside of me was backwards right now. I should have been dead—I almost wanted to be dead. But something had forbid it, and here I was battling the greatest foe of my existence. I would have given up ages ago if it hadn't been for her. For my sweet Destiny who egged me on through it all. She held my clammy hand in hers and whispered words of encouragement in my ears when the darkness began to fade it.
I cried. I screamed. I begged for mercy on my body. But nothing came other than more waves of heat and terror one after another. Excessive amounts of time had passed; this I knew, but as for how much—I didn't know. I didn't even know where I was or what had happened. All I knew that was me and Destiny were together and that was really all that mattered.
"Keep fighting Kale." Destiny whispered from somewhere beyond the crashing waves of hurt. I wanted to answer her and tell her that I would always fight for her no matter what, but if I tried to move my mouth a fountain of blood would spurt from between my lips and fall across my face. There was nothing I could now except for fight. All I could do was stay alive for the sake of love. For the sake of humanity. For the sake of her.
"Is it over?" I whispered in a hoarse and crackly voice. Destiny ran her fingers across my cheekbones up to my forehead, and brushed my dripping wet hair out of my face. The coldness of her touch was the best thing I had felt in what seemed forever. The extreme heat that had held my body hostage for the last few days was finally breaking with her frosty touch.
"Yes Kale, it's over." She sobbed, and I heard the thickness of tears in her voice. She leaned down, and I finally saw her face. The feeling that rendered over my body was like the feeling that I had been blind up to now. Like her face was a beaker of light in the never ending darkness. She pressed her soft lips against mine and kissed me.
The surprise would have knocked me off my feet if I had been standing. The pleasure, and static of her kiss overtook the pain in my body and flushed it away. No longer did I want to cry out in agony, but instead I wanted to rejoice in happiness. Only heartfelt warmth was left running in my body. I kissed her back as well as I could—which was weakly with my sudden lack of strength—and continued to kiss her until I was out of breath. She pulled away and nuzzled her head into the crevice of my neck. My pulse beat against her face quickly reminding her that I was still alive.
"I love you." I murmured, trying to wean myself to wrap my arms around her, but I had not energy left at all.
"I love you too." She replied. And that was all I needed to fall into a deep and dreamless slumber that my mind had called for, for so long.
"I think it's time for my sponge bath!" I called out innocently. Destiny rolled her coffee brown eyes at me from across the room and her lips twisted into a smile.
"I remember back when you were just sleeping and not annoying me every five seconds." She muttered, turning back to the table full of pill bottles, cremes, and bandages. Basically everything I had been living off of for the last few days. She grabbed a handful of colorful pills in her hand and a glass of water. She slowly waded towards me, stopping at the side of the bed.
"You know, it gets awfully boring in here all day. I've got to crack a few jokes to keep my mental state good." I defended. She knelt on the bed beside me, being very careful not the jostle the bed at all.
"Your mental state was out the door weeks ago." She retorted.
"Oh, so your a little sarcastic gal now? Huh?" I challenged, painfully pulling myself into a slight sitting position. She smiled wistfully and passed me the fistful of pills. They were all different sizes, shapes, and colors yet, all of them equally distasteful looking. I dropped them in my mouth—ignoring the bitter the taste, took the water from her, and drained it all into my mouth. The pulls went down, leaving a scuttling feeling in my throat.
"Uh..." I droned, closing my eyes and falling back into the dented part of the pillow where I put my head every day.
"Let's see how the wound is today."She sighed. She unbuttoned my shirt slowly, and peeled it from my chest. Then her tender fingers un-knotted the bloodstained bandage from around my wound. Just like every time she undressed it;she gasped. I used to look down at my self inflicted cut and have the same reaction. It would make me dizzy and lightheaded and sometimes even make me pass out. But for the last few times I had just kept my eyes closed while she worked on it. I didn't want to see the single thing that made me so pitifully weak.
She began to rub her fingers around the cut, soothing the irritated skin down. I smiled in my daze and let the shooting feeling of pleasure take over my veins. Her touch made me want to melt into her fingers and cease to be torn away from her.
"What are trying to initiate here?" I hinted jokingly. Destiny scoffed.
"I will never understand how you can be so cocky even when your on the brink of death."
"Yes, well I won't let something like death keep me from third base..." I trailed. Her nails dug into my skin grudgingly, and I laughed weakly at her.
"How about you focus more on recovery? We can't hid out in this apartment forever." She said seriously, and I knew she was right. The sooner I got well—the better. Everyday without me hunting was a day where more soulblazers were being created. Humanity couldn't live long without me. No one could live long without me. Cocky? Maybe. But it was true all the same. I felt somewhere in the pit of my stomach that this cover of darkness was almost over. There was a new beginning coming. And it was coming soon.
"Kale? Kale, wake up!" Destiny's voice was strained and urgent as she shook my body. I groaned, and slapped her arm away. I muttered something incoherent and squeezed my eyes shut tighter. The haze of sleep wasn't ready to release me yet, and I wasn't ready to leave. But Destiny was persistent. "Kale, get up right now. I'm serious. We have a visitor." She hissed.
I jolted into a sitting position, sending a wave of vertigo over my body. My eyes peeled open and I was blinded for a single second as my eyes focused. "What?" Destiny sat on the bed next to me, her face creased with worry. Behind her, a strange girl I had never seen before in my life was standing confidently in the middle of the room, staring expectantly at me.
She looked about 5'9, with a fragile and extremely thin body that reminded me vaguely of Sonea. She had inky black hair that was down to her shoulders, but it wasn't completely black—there were platinum white streaks in the frontal part framing her face. Her eyes were an ashen gray, and hidden behind massive amounts of black makeup. She wore all black clothing that covered every inch of her despite her neck and face. She had a rough looking, army green backpack slung over her shoulder that seemed to be bursting full. She raised a black eyebrow up at me as if to signal that she knew I was judging her. Yes, she definitely reminded me of Sonea.
"Who is this?" I whispered, though I knew the strange girl could hear me.
"This is—" Destiny began but the girl cut her off with the wave of her hand. She stepped towards me and grinned.
"My name is Jezabel, and I'm here to save you from your father, your mistakes, and mostly death." She shrugged. "No big deal."
*All charactors and plot are mine
Views: 532
that was sectacualar!!!!!!!!
but just to show you how amazing it was...i'll give you an account of my thoughts
1 the faust poster kinda scares me
2ooooh scary prolog
3 oh shiznik not another profacy
4 OH SHIZNIK!!! not another gun!!
7 thats gotta hurt
8akkk wut r they!!!
12 yeah...des would come right then
13kale your an incredible idiot
14something's gunna b in the aparment!!!!
16 wait...i thought her eyes were hazel...not coffee brown
17im likeing Jez already :D
i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT RUSSETT
plz plz plz hurry up and update...i'm dying here
PS; if you dont hurry i shall send Mr. Raccoonie and his evil minions to capture kale until you update!!!! and Mr. Raccoonie will hold a knife to your throat while you write so u hurry up!!!!!
Oh yeah, first to comment :D
Haha. Wow that was entertaining to read!
And I just updated...don't expect an update for a few days. but thanks.
pffft u shall update sooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have a feeling that this is going to be an awesome story!! so update soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! plz = )
this is awesome!!!!!! update soon plz :)
Thanks guys
YAAAAY! It's finally posted!
& I have a really, REALLY bad feeling about this Jezabel girl. Just saying. xD
Ahaha, Kale hasn't lost his touch. Always has me laughing :)
Great job! Can't wait for more =D
i cant wait for i loved the first story but i think i might love the sequel more :):D
Thanks guys:) Glad you all enjoy it
Loooooovee that sooo much!! you need to post soon b/c we need more of Kale!! And I already hate Jezabel!! I have a feeling that she's going to get between Destiny and Kale, which is sooo not cool b/c they are supposed to be meant to be!
Can't wait for the next chapter!
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Comedians Gary Gulman & Karith Foster at EastVille Comedy Club
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All offers for Comedians Gary Gulman & Karith Foster have expired.
The last date listed for Comedians Gary Gulman & Karith Foster was Friday November 13, 2009 / 11:00pm.
Currently at EastVille Comedy Club:
EastVille Comedy Club Presents Top National Stand-Ups
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EastVille Comedy Club, located in the heart of Manhattan's East Village, prides itself on featuring the funniest and most experienced comics in the biz for a sure-fire night of laughs. The 125-seat retro club regularly hosts comedians seen in film and on television's Comedy Central, HBO, The Tonight Show and Late Show with David Letterman. Janeane Garofalo, Judah Friedlander, Jim Gaffigan and Todd Barry are among the top comics who've recently played the EastVille. This offer allows you to buy now and choose any available Thursday through Sunday show time, so long as you reserve in advance. Learn More
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The weather was a nice summer night. I wore jeans, a dressy top and heals, but felt a bit over dressed definately a dress down place..EastVille Comedy Club dress • Jun 19 2013 star this tip starred
Eat before you go, no food service just booze and candyEastVille Comedy Club info • Mar 27 2013 star this tip starred
Reviews & Ratings
Featured review from Goldstar Member
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Gary Gulman did not perform. I wanted to see him.
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I was very disapointed that the comedian Gary Gulman never showed up on Friday. The other comedians they brought out were funny, but I went to the event because I am a fan of Gary's. Disapointing.
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If Gary Gulman would have been there it would have made it easier to review the 'Gary Gulman' show...not sure what happened, but was def disappointing to drag a bunch of people there and find out after.
Boston's Gary Gulman has appeared on just about every television show a young standup comedian can appear on, including The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and The Late Show with David Letterman. His brand of clever, original comedy has delighted audiences of all ages all over America.
While Gary has been a headlining comedian for several years now, he is most well known for his breakthrough success on NBC's hit standup showcase, Last Comic Standing. Over the past four years his charm and talent have also caught the attention of numerous television networks who have inked Gulman to star in lucrative comedy projects for them, including CBS, Showtime and FOX to star in his own show.
Though he's only been performing for a relatively short time, his body of work includes a half-hour Showtime Network special, a critically lauded CD entitled Conversations With Inanimate Objects, the HBO comedy documentary Tourgasm with Dane Cook, and a one hour special on Comedy Central entitled Boyish Man. Comedy experts everywhere praise Gary as one of the top comedians touring today.
Karith Foster has grabbed the country's attention working alongside Don Imus as the black female co-host of Imus in the Morning on 770 WABC Radio. Karith is also well known for her reoccurring appearances on VH1's Best Week Ever. Karith has also been featured on Comedy Central, NBC's Today Show, and NBC's Last Comic Standing.

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Credits & Info
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- Apr 3, 2012 | 9:42 PM EDT
- Daily 3rd Place April 5, 2012
Related Stuff
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Author Comments
Hi everyone! I had so much fun making "The Pitch" for the holidays in 2010 that I really wanted to make a Passover sequel. I finally got a chance, gathered the cast and made "The Focus Group" a reality! I hope you enjoy this ridiculous send-up of spring holiday traditions.
Big thanks to the Newgrounds community for Daily 3rd Place, front page, lots of views and some interesting and unexpected religious discussions in the reviews!
Rated 5 / 5 stars April 13, 2012
Hearing the story of passover as a kid, might explain why my favorite movies are Hellraiser, Videodrome and The Human Centipede. This was funny!
Rated 4 / 5 stars April 12, 2012
Derps, ex jew, atheist now.
I gotta agree, passover sucks, this whole religion sucks.
At least no school for 3 weeks.
Good animation
Rated 1.5 / 5 stars April 12, 2012
Not to detract from the author's experience or his observation of other's participating in easter/passover, but the one's i've attended with my jewish/presbytarian/baptist friends are kickass and nothing like what's depicted here. I was not gonna post but saw all the anti-religious comments coming in and changed my mind.
Rated 3 / 5 stars April 12, 2012
I happen to be a jew. This animation was good, and it actually made me laugh, but all you anti-cemetic reviewers actually hurt me deeply. Please, remember that us small portion of Jews actually have feelings.
Rated 3.5 / 5 stars April 11, 2012
The passover part was good,
but they forgot to have the kids drink four cups of wine.


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FLOWERY BRANCH – Falcons wide receiver Eric Weems was named the NFC special teams player for the week, according to team.
Weems set a franchise-record with a 102-yard kickoff return to help spark the Falcons to a 28-24 victory over Tampa Bay.
Weems is also the team's top tackler on special teams with 11.
"We are only out there for one snap," Weems said. "For that one snap, you have to give it all that you've got."
The previous club record of 100 yards was held by Darrick Vaughn (2000), Deion Sanders (1991), and Dennis Pearson (1978). The last time the Falcons had a kickoff return for a touchdown was December 15, 2002 when Allen Rossum ran a kick back 91 yards for a score against Seattle. Additionally, Weems ranks second in the NFL in kickoff returns with a 28.1 yards per return average.
Originally signed as an undrafted free agent out of Bethune-Cookman, Weems is having one of the best seasons of his career as he is on pace for a career-high 1,313 return yards.
Weems is the fourth Falcon to earn player of the week honors this season and he joins kicker Matt Bryant as the second Falcon to take special teams player of the week honors, with Bryant winning the award with game-winning field goals in Week 4 and Week 12.
Wide receiver Roddy White believes Weems could be getting some consideration for the Pro Bowl as the top special teams player in the NFC.
"Yes, he should be the first special teams player to be in the Pro Bowl, right now," White said. "He's done a terrific job of just going down there and making plays. Last week he made a real big play with 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter to help us out. It was really the momentum changer in the game that gave us that spark that we needed to win down the stretch. Yes he should be the first special team player on the Pro Bowl ballot."
–D. Orlando Ledbetter
December 8th, 2010
2:18 pm
Good for him, he deserves it.
December 8th, 2010
2:19 pm
Good for Weems and our special teams
December 8th, 2010
2:19 pm
December 8th, 2010
2:19 pm
And I don't give a flip what "number" I am, lol.
December 8th, 2010
2:27 pm
hOW ABOUT FIRST
December 8th, 2010
2:27 pm
Didn't know that a founder was a Falcons fan.
December 8th, 2010
2:55 pm
Pro Bowl voting
December 8th, 2010
2:56 pm
Way to go Weems. That, coupled with Grimes getting NFC South High Energy Player of the Week, and we got some darn good players on this year's crop.
December 8th, 2010
2:59 pm
How 'bout them Falcons!
This is what we've always wanted.
December 8th, 2010
3:00 pm
Congratulations Mr. Weems. You and Bryant are in a class all by yourself and have kept us in the games. You deserves it!!.
PS: Good to see Mr. White have something good to say. Now keep you mouth shut on the football field and just play.
December 8th, 2010
3:10 pm
great job eric!!!
December 8th, 2010
3:18 pm
Way to go weems need more of that, GO Falcons and lets punish those panthers sunday with a total blowout
December 8th, 2010
3:50 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Myron Abernathy, GamblingIQ (Dirty), ATLHOMER, Michael Robinson, OTG Sports and others. OTG Sports said: RT @AJCFalcons: Eric Weems named NFC special teams player of the week http://bit.ly/hmbiEN [...]
December 8th, 2010
3:54 pm
Falcon James — Give it a rest. Roddy backs it up. Its about time we had a legit bad$ss @ wide out. This kid walks the walk and talks the talk. Just saying.
December 8th, 2010
4:32 pm
CONGRATULATIONS to Eric Weems. This is a well deserved honor. Now Falcons fans go to the NFL website and get to voting soon for the pro-bowl selections. GO FALCONS!!!!!
December 8th, 2010
4:33 pm
D'led does Finneran get an assist? His lead blocking was off the chart!
December 8th, 2010
5:47 pm
That KO return was a team production, starring Eric Weems.
It was a beautiful thing, spectacular, all of those cuts and blocking and no flags, wonderful.
I have replayed it on the DVR about 30 times.
December 8th, 2010
5:49 pm
Falcon James@3:00……I don't understand your comments about R. White.
What in the heck are you talking about?
December 8th, 2010
7:21 pm
Roddy is running his mouth too much the last 2 games – drawing personal fouls, after the words degenerated into physical confrontations. Mr. White is too good to bother with this junk.
December 8th, 2010
7:53 pm
Tremendous player. Gives 120% on every play. I'd love to see him more at WR, though I understand the slot is crowded.
December 8th, 2010
8:11 pm
WTG Weems! but i still ike harry at slot. Looks like hes getting back into it now too.
December 8th, 2010
9:43 pm
Whats the lastest on Michael V i C K
December 8th, 2010
10:05 pm
Congrats Weemie!! You and Grimes play 10 feet tall.
Skip Bayless is a troll, lookin' for publicity by baiting the Falcons players. I wish Roddy would keep his mouth shut, he is starting to remind me of T.O.
December 8th, 2010
10:07 pm
Jesus F'in Christ D Led, what is the deal with the mute button……………….?
December 8th, 2010
10:09 pm
D'Led, you can't be serious man………………
December 8th, 2010
10:11 pm
D 'Led, you are a dark void surroundd by a sphinxter muscle
December 9th, 2010
12:11 am
The penalty against R. White for a personal foul Sunday, was total BS.
December 9th, 2010
12:17 am
On two different plays earlier in the game, Buccaneer players had hit White during a jawing session, after the play was over, with both hands and a lot harder than White hit the Buc's player. There were no penalties called agains the Bucs. White barely tapped the Tampa player.
December 9th, 2010
12:22 am
When you are playing against one of the historically dirtiest, cheap shot defenses in the history of the NFL, I guess you are suppose to just let them abuse you the entire game.
December 9th, 2010
12:36 am
And it seems like Weems is always the first guy down the field on the kickoffs. This dude is awesome. It would be cool to see him get a few snaps at WR now and then. He's a playmaker.
December 9th, 2010
3:30 am
I enjoy Weems' effort; he's a grinder and takes pride in his work. That said, I'd like to see the Falcons pursue wr/kr/pr Eddie Royal of the Denver Broncos. He's a more explosive athlete who has been underutilized by Denver. 91 catches as rookie – abused DeAngelo Hall in rookie debut. Not targeted in McDaniels' offense. He's available if we dangle a young player from defense.
December 9th, 2010
3:34 am
Just wish Madden would give Weems more respect. He has an 89 speed and is 63 overall
December 9th, 2010
4:38 am
My girl has a crush on ya Weems. LOL. Good job man.
December 9th, 2010
6:32 am
Amen Falcon James on Roddy White.
Weems congrats Mr. T.I. lookalike, lol!
December 9th, 2010
7:20 am
I was watching and I was thinking we are going down. How the hell can we win behind 10 points with 10 minutes to go? And then Weems and Grimes showed up. Totally awesome …
December 9th, 2010
7:21 am
It would be amusing to see these guys get up in R. White's face, live, person to person, instead of on a keyboard, and then tell Roddy White, to keep his mouth shut.
He has a right to run his mouth all that he wants to.
December 9th, 2010
7:26 am
But I do agree that he should not carry it to the point of drawing a penalty. He is too good for that.
It looks like the the zebras are looking for him to commit that penalty, judging from the Tampa game.
December 9th, 2010
7:51 am
December 9th, 2010
7:55 am
Look …………..it's obvious that the defense is goading Roddy, knowing he isn't going to ignore the trash talk…….
Roddy shoud be smart enough to let his play answer their taunts……….
December 9th, 2010
9:15 am
Congrats Weems. And yes Roddy needs to stop the personal foul crap, he's to good to be acting like DHall. It's stupid and makes him look childish.
December 9th, 2010
9:16 am
I don't mind trash talking but drawing a 15 yrd personal foul is a drive killer.
December 9th, 2010
9:26 am
If R. White is going to draw a penalty, he should make it count, and punch his adversary in the throat.
I would love to see him or anyone else in the NFL knock the cheap shot artist, Ronde Barber out, stone cold.
December 9th, 2010
9:29 am
I have it as this:
1. Brett Favre – the only QB I can literally say can get the ball ANYWHERE on the field at any time with pinpoint precision. In his prime almost unsackable, ask the Niners who had him half sacked, only to see him throw it sidearm across his body 30 yard and hit his receiver in stride. The Cowboys literally play a 70 yard prevent against him for entire quarters in the playoffs. Ask the Vikings why when they had Favre at midfield, with Javon walking sprinting across the 5 yard line, Favre then hits Walker BEFORE he crosses the goal line. Truly the most talented QB there ever was. Won almost unanimous MVPs his first three yearsduring the golden age of QBs before it became redundant to give him the award.
2. Dan Marino – Could be #1, the best pure passer the game has ever seen. Like Favre, played in the one man aerial circus system where HE was the ONLY player any good, and made stars out of all the scrub receivers. PINPOINT accuracy to any part of the field within 40 yards, sees all 4 receivers at once instantly, and literally kills you from any hole in your defense within 40 yards that his receivers streak to.
Quarterback skill only shows through when the QB is pressured and has to make instant tough decisions and throws. Otherwise watching any old scrub have all day to make easy decisions every play, otherwise autosack himself or throw a disaster EVERY time is boring, anybody can do that.
3. Joe Montana – Could be #1, the most pinpoint accurate, consistent to the point of perfection QB the league has ever seen. By 1991 it was getting to a point where the Niners were robotically throwing to high spots all over the field where the defenses cannot reach, where the windows were supposed to be small, but the receivers just catch it right at the spot like it was routine. It got to a point (and the only time) where the league literally had to step in and break up the Niners. During the playoffs you know what he was going to do, but you can't stop it, you just took it as Montana took it to another level and rubbed it in your face the levels upon levels of gap ohis superiority has put his opponents behind.
4. Steve Young – When he first came in, was Montana, with the mobility. He had all the tools, the accuracy, ability to track teh receivers, and both on the run. He could scramble, and was pretty much automatic anywhere within 10 yards. Him and Montana threw the best deep ball in the league, made the hail mary play and changed it into a routine play called the bomb, and made it legendary and termed football play into an unheard of "finesse offense". Best QB rating in the history of the league.
5. Jeff Garcia – Consistent, accurate, smart, never turns the ball over, tough, and has the most heart of anyone. Unsackable and probably the best pure passer on the run. ALWAYS kills the blitz. Probably the clutchest player in history. Takes ANY bottomfeeding team INSTANTLY to the playoffs (had the Niners within a year, had the Browns instantly talking playoffs before he got injured, the Eagles, the Bucs, only the Lions couldn't win because Garcia spent all his time trying to get them to take home their playbooks). Can come back from almost ANY deficit. Came back from 18 point deficits FOUR games in a row on the Bucs last year, the most incredible thing I've seens.
Like Garcia, Elway is smart, consistently accurate, has heart, throws an accurate deep ball, maybe stronger than Garcia, can somewhat throw on the run, but Garcia is IMPECCABLY accurate, throws that deep ball with the Montana-like touch, constantly threads the ball between three defenders or drops it pinpoint into three layers of defense. Probably the most accurate deadly thrower on the run, only Favre compares here. NOBODY has more heart than Garcia, and Garcia definitely has more heart than Elway. Garcia handles the blitz better than Elway and anybody, he ALWAYS beats it, and can come back from ANY deficit, clutch play after clutch play all the way to the end in perfection. Garcia is more clutch that Elway, in fact, nobody is more clutch than Garcia. Garcia when he went to the Eagles won EVERY single game all the way to the playoffs (every game was an elimination game) and should have beat the Saints, the most clutchest play ever got called back that would have put them in the tying FG and the winning TD position. And just last year came back from almost 18 point deficits 4 games in a row to put the Bucs in comfortable playoff position. Elway does well when the game is somewhat in hand, but is not good enough to come back from any deficit in superhuman fashion. Both are tough as nails. Garcia throws the least INTs in the league compare to attempts, impressive considering he is ALWAYS under a pass rush. Another area he is better than Elway.
December 9th, 2010
9:30 am
Do you really believe this?
I won't list my to 5 ever, but how about this?
My Top 10 QB's of the passing era, 1980-present.
1-Peyton Manning
2-Dan Marino
3-Joe Montana
4-Brett Favre
5-John Elway
6-Tom Brady
7-Steve Young
8-Dan Fouts
9-Kurt Warner
10-Drew Brees
December 9th, 2010
10:01 am
Glad to see Eric recognized, he has been flying under the radar with the fans but not his teamates.
December 9th, 2010
10:18 am
now that he got a taste weems is gonna be wanting more he is a team player and the birds are a team love it


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FORT MYERS: Debbie Lynn thought she'd found the man of her dreams.
He was a U.S. Army soldier named Sgt. Gary England. The two met on an online dating website for single parents.
"I just fell in love with that photo," said Lynn, who posted his picture on the wall next to her computer at work. "I would look at it and smile."
But after months of emailing, Lynn would discover that Sgt. England wasn't who he claimed to be.
"I wasn't gullible," she said. "I really believed who he said he was."
The reality is a scammer stole a picture of Sgt. England and used it to steal money from Lynn and perhaps other women. It's not clear if Gary England is even the man's real name.
Lynn wired thousands of dollars for all sorts of reasons. The man she was talking to asked for money to pay hospital bills, customs fees and other charges.
Lynn agreed. She ended up wiring a total of $19,000 over the six months they communicated.
"I'm not really worried about the money," she said. "I'll make it up. It's six months out of my life that's gone. I'll never get it back."
A U.S. Army spokesman tells the NBC2 Investigators that this scam is happening all over the country. Scammers snatch up pictures of soldiers online and assume their identities on dating websites.
Scammers often make up names to go along with the pictures they've found online, sometimes not even using the correct rank based on the soldier's uniform.
The Army says it's not the only military branch affected. Scammers have also used pictures from the Marines, Navy and Air Force.
The scammers can, however, be predictable.
They'll often use the wrong rank. If you get a picture of a soldier, check to see if the person's uniform displays their rank and whether it matches with what the individual is telling you.
They'll want money sent via wire transfer services like Western Union. They'll say they need to pay for things like laptop computers, cell phones, medical bills or customs fees.
Some scammers will even claim that the Army doesn't let them use a phone, which isn't true.
If you think you've been scammed, or if you've received suspicious communication from someone claiming to be in the armed services, report the crime to one of the following agencies:
Federal Trade Commission website or call 1-877-ID-THEFT (438-4338) or TTY, 1-866-653-4261.
Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) (FBI-NW3C Partnership).
FBI | United States Secret Service
US Postal Inspection Service
US Army Criminal Investigation Command
US Navy Criminal Investigative Service
US Air Force Office of Special of Special Investigations
US Coast Guard Investigative Service
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text:
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Merrill Lynch and U.S. Trust reached out to some high-powered clients this quarter to invest in a social-impact bond whose proceeds finance a program to lower recidivism rates among ex-convicts in New York.
The project raised $13.5 million over 60 days from clients of the Bank of America Corp-owned
"They are looking for new and creative ways ... to have a more direct connection between the dollars they are investing and the impact it is having on a social problem that they care about," Andy Sieg, head of global wealth and retirement solutions at Merrill Lynch said during a telephone news conference on Monday.
Investors can realize annual returns of up to 12.5 percent over five-and-a-half years, although the probable return is in the high single digits, he said. Actual returns depend on the success of job-training programs for 2,000 newly released prisoners administered by the Center for Employment Opportunities. Success rates will be determined by Chesapeake Research Associates.
The social impact bond is the first pay-for-success instrument in which Bank of America participated, and the first in which a state, New York, is participating. Reducing recidivism will help control prison costs, the fastest growing budget item in New York in 2012 after Medicaid, Gov. Andrew Cuomo said in a news release.
About 20 pay-for-success bonds have been issued in programs worldwide, but more than 10 U.S. states are considering the programs, said Tracy Palandjian, chief executive of Social Finance Inc, a nonprofit that structures such investments.
The new issue attracted an average order of $350,000 from 40 high-net-worth individuals and from family and other foundations. Capital from investors will come in two stages, this June and again in early 2016.
The funds raised are minuscule compared with the about $12 trillion in U.S. individual investor assets under management and the billions raised weekly in capital markets, Palandjian and Sieg said.
But the Merrill executive said he is confident more transactions will follow at Bank of America and other institutions because of, "strong interest by clients in impact investing."
The Rockefeller Foundation provided a $1.32 million guaranty that covers 10 percent of investors' principal should it fail to repay 100 percent of their investment. The Robin Hood Foundation, a nonprofit with strong support from Wall Street and private equity, invested $300,000 in the project.
(Reporting by Jed Horowitz. Editing by Andre Grenon)


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|Orange, Calif.
|High School:
|Villa Park HS
TRACK & FIELD SOPHOMORE (2014): Competed in seven events for the Titans during the 2014 outdoor track and field season... ran the 1500 and 5000-meter once each this season... in the 1500-meter run he placed ninth at the Bryan Clay Invitational on April 18 with a time of 4:04.33... in the 5000-meter run he placed 11th with a time of 15:19.04 at the Ben Brown Invitational on March 15... competed in the 3000-meter steeplechase three times this year with his best finish and time coming at the Big West Challenge on April 11 when he finished fifth with a time of 9:35.62.
CROSS COUNTRY SOPHOMORE (2013): Little was a key element for the Titans, competing in six events during the season…placed in the overall top-20 in three events and top-10 among Fullerton runners in all six events…ran a season-best 25:50 over the 8K course at the Inter-Region Jamboree on Oct. 4, finishing 94th overall in Sacramento, Calif...posted his best finish at the Mustang Challenge in Santa Clarita, Calif., on Sept. 21, covering the 8K course in 25:51.52 to finish 15th overall, and fifth among Fullerton participants…competed in one 6K event on Oct. 19, finishing in 20th place with a mark of 18:35.4 at the Highlander Invitational…at the Big West Championships in San Luis Obispo, Calif., he was second among the CSF runners and 35th overall, logging a time of 27:25.9 at the 8K event on Nov. 2…concluded the season competing in a 10K event at the NCAA West Regionals, logging a time of 32:51 while finishing in 137th place overall and fourth among Fullerton participants.
TRACK & FIELD FRESHMAN (2013): Competed in eight events for the Titans during the outdoor track and field season...Little participated three times in both the men's 5000-meter run and 3000-meter steeplechase...finished first in the men's 3000-meter steeplechase with a time of 9:39.30 at the Steve Scott Invite in Irvine, Calif., on April 27-28...had a personal best time in the 5000-meter run at the Ben Brown Invitational, when he finished tenth with a time of 15:22.96...holds the third best time for a Titan in the 3000-meter run this season, after posting a time of 8:50.54 at the Spring Break Invite on March 22-23 in Irvine, Calif.
CROSS COUNTRY FRESHMAN (2012): Beginning his collegiate career, Jeff Little competed in six team meets for the Titans. Posting his career-best time of 25:39.9 at the Santa Clara Bronco Invitational on Oct. 13. Little had his career-best-place at the Big West Championships finishing in 45th place with a time of 26:30.8. As a freshman, he competed in the NCAA West Regionals finishing in 166th place with a time of 33:20.
Ran four years of cross country and track for the Spartans under head coach Dave White... set a cross country personal best of 14:49 as a senior... ran personal bests of :54 in the 400m, 2:00 in the 800m, 4:24 in the 1600m, and 9:53 in the 3200m as a senior.
Born in Los Alamitos... parents are Rodger and Vicki... has a brother, Steven, and a sister, Karlee... business major at Cal State Fullerton... lists friends, video games, backyard family parties, music, and long drives among his hobbies and interests... favorites include: Santiago Oaks Park (place to run), Craig Alexander, Steve Prefontaine (athletes), The Dark Knight Rises, 21 Jump Street, Man of Steel (movies), ACDC, Blink-182 (musical artists) and pizza (food).


text:
FAYETTE COUNTY (WVVA) - Both southbound lanes of Interstate 77 are now reopened in Fayette County after being closed due to a multi-vehicle accident.
The crash near mile marker 64 in Fayette County involved at least two tractor-trailers.
Both southbound lanes were closed for approximately three hours as crews cleared the scene.
Further details are unknown at this time.
WVVA News will provide further details as they are made available.


text:
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text:
High School College Acceptances
|Academy of Art University
|Monserrat College of Art
|American University, Rome, Italy
|Montana State University
|Antioch College
|Morehead State University
|Art Academy of Cincinnati
|Mt. Holyoke
|Art Institute of Chicago
|Mt. Hood Community College
|Art Institute of Ohio
|Niagara County Community College
|Art Institute of Portland
|Northeastern University
|Art Institute of Seattle
|Northern Arizona University
|Bard College
|Oberlin Conservatory
|Beloit College
|Occidental College
|Berklee School of Music
|Pacific NW College of Art
|Birmingham-Southern College
|Pacific University
|Brookes Institute of Photography
|Pacific Lutheran University
|Bryn Mawr College
|Pitzer College
|California College of the Arts
|Portland State University
|Prescott College
|Carleton College
|Quest University
|Clark University
|Ralph-Macon College
|Concordia University
|Reed College
|Cornell College
|Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
|Cornish College
|Rhode Island School of Design
|DePaul University
|Rice University
|DePauw University
|Salve Regina University
|Dominican University of California
|Seattle Central Community College
|Drew University
|Seattle University
|Emerson College, UK
|Simmons College
|Earlham College
|Sarah Lawrence College
|Emerson College, US
|Savannah College of Art & Design
|Eugene Lang College of
|Simon Fraser College
|the New School for
|Social Research
|Soka University
|Southern Oregon University
|Fashion Institute of
|St. Edwards University
|Design and Merchandising, CA
|St. Olaf College
|Fashion Institute of Technology
|State University of New York, New Paltz
|Fort Lewis College
|The Evergreen State College
|Gettysburg College
|Trinity Western University
|Global College
|University of Colorado at Boulder
|Goucher College
|University of British Columbia
|Grinnell College
|Gustavus Adolphus College
|University of Denver
|Hampshire College
|University of Illinois at Chicago
|Humboldt State College
|University of Minnesota
|Knox College
|University of Montana
|Lane Community College
|University of Oregon
|Lawrence University
|University of Portland
|Lewis and Clark College
|University of Puget Sound
|Linfield College
|University of Redlands
|Macalaster College
|University of San Francisco
|Manhattan School of Music
|Marlboro College
|University of the Pacific
|Maryland Institute College of Art
|University of Washington
|Marymount Manhattan College
|University of Wisconsin
|New York University
|Ursinus Collge
|Massachusetts College of Art
|Vancouver Island University
|Mills College
|Warren Wilson College
|Minneapolis College of
|Wells College
|Art and Design
|Western Washington University
|Wheaton College
|Whitman College
|Willamette University


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text:
When a Woman's Work Is Done
Published on - May 16th, 2012 (by Robert Brokamp)
This is a post from staff writer Robert Brokamp of The Motley Fool. Robert is a Certified Financial Planner and the adviser for The Motley Fool's Rule Your Retirement service. He contributes one new article to Get Rich Slowly every two weeks.
One of my jobs at The Motley Fool is to serve as the internal financial planner for Fool employees. Lately, however, I've been answering more questions my colleagues have about their parents — and it's more likely about their mothers or mothers-in-law. The truth is, women face a more difficult task when it comes to retirement planning, for several reasons:
Women earn, and have, less. According to the Census Bureau, women earn just 77% of what men make. They are also more likely to interrupt their careers to raise children or take care of older relatives. According to the Social Security Administration, the typical woman spends 12 years out of the workforce. This results in lower retirement benefits and smaller portfolios. On average, a female's 401(k) is 40% less than a male's.
Women live longer. Generally, retirement begins when a person leaves the workplace and ends when life leaves the person. The longer someone lives, the longer retirement lasts — and the more assets will be needed. On average, gals live five years longer than guys, which means they tend to be retired longer. Add to this the fact that, with most couples, the wife is a few years younger than the husband, and you can see why most women should plan on spending their last few years on their own. Which leads us to…
Women are more likely to spend part of their lives single. Though my wife may not believe it, marriage enhances retirement security. According to a National Bureau of Economic Research study by Susann Rohwedder and Michael Hurd, 80% of married couples in the 66-69 age group are adequately prepared for retirement, whereas just 55% of single persons have enough resources. Unfortunately, more than twice as many older women are single than older men. According to the Census Bureau, 19% of men over the age of 65 live alone, compared to 40% of women in the same age group. More than two-thirds of 85-year-olds are women.
Women tend to retire earlier. According to the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College, the average retirement age for men is 64, whereas the typical woman retires at age 62. This is often because a wife will retire at the same time as her husband. It's just another reason why women can be expected to fund a longer retirement than men.
Women often leave financial planning to their husbands. According to a survey from ING Direct and Dailyworth.com, 40% of married women leave retirement planning to their partners, and almost 30% say they don't know what their main source of future retirement income will be. This leaves widows and divorcees vulnerable when they find themselves single again, and could contribute to a general lower knowledge about money matters. According to studies by Dr. Annamaria Lusardi, director of the Financial Literacy Center, women score 12 percentage points lower than men on tests about concepts such as inflation and diversification, as well as other measures of financial literacy.
What's a Woman to Do?
While all those statistics can be discouraging, the good news is that there are plenty of solutions. Here are the steps all women (and the men who love them) can take.
Become a money master. Regardless of whether you're single, married, or living in a hippie commune where no one bathes but someone has to pay the bills, make sure you keep learning about financial planning and have a hand in the household finances. According to a study from Hartford Financial Service and the MIT AgeLab, couples who share the financial housework are more prepared than couples that rely on just one member to do all the financial lifting; the former group is more likely to have saved more and developed a plan for what will happen when one spouse passes away. This doesn't mean that each spouse must do everything together, but it does mean that each spouse should know enough about what's going on, and how to manage the family finances in the case the other spouse becomes ill or passes away.
Manage the couple's benefits with the survivor in mind. The timing of when one spouse begins receiving Social Security and pension benefits (if any) can affect the financial security of the other spouse. The questions to ask are: 1) Will the primary beneficiary receive a larger benefit for delaying, and 2) how much of the benefit will go to a surviving spouse? In the case of Social Security, the benefit does increase for each year of delaying, which can be very important source of income for a retiree whose lifetime earnings record is not as high as her or his spouse's, because that higher benefit will continue to the lower-earning spouse when the higher-earning spouse passes away.
Be ready to be on your own. The last time I covered this topic in a GRS post, a reader linked to a New York Times article, written by a woman who had once been an advocate for stay-at-home motherhood:
So I was predictably stunned and devastated when, on our 40th wedding anniversary, my husband presented me with a divorce. I knew our first anniversary would be paper, but never expected the 40th would be papers, 16 of them meticulously detailing my faults and flaws, the reason our marriage, according to him, was over….
The judge had awarded me alimony that was less than I was used to getting for household expenses, and now I had to use that money to pay bills I'd never seen before: mortgage, taxes, insurance and car payments. And that princely sum was awarded for only four years, the judge suggesting that I go for job training when I turned 67. Not only was I unprepared for divorce itself, I was utterly lacking in skills to deal with the brutal aftermath.
I hate to be so cynical as to suggest every person should be ready to become single at any moment, but I do think everyone should have a Plan B at the ready.
Delay retirement until everyone is ready. The decision to retire should not be based solely on whether both spouses have enough money to cover expenses, but also on whether a surviving spouse would be secure should the other spouse pass away. According to the Hartford study, the typical widow sees her income drop 50% when the husband passes away, yet expenses drop just 20%. To make sure they have enough in their later years, people should continue to work — and save — until they have enough to survive on their own, and not retire just because their spouse does.
Everyone should know the team. If you use any financial-services professionals — accountants, advisors, attorneys — both spouses should know at least enough to know what they do for you, and how to contact them. If you don't use pros because one spouse does the work, you may want to begin assembling a team in your later years to smooth the transition in case that one spouse is no longer able to do the job. You can start with a fee-only financial planner, such as those who belong to the Garrett Planning Network or the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors.
The Times, They Are A-changin'
These kinds of posts can be tricky, since they're based on generalizations that obviously don't apply to every woman or couple, and can come off as sexist. To be sure, I know plenty of couples in which the wife is in charge of the household finances. These folks tend to be younger, which is why I think the difference in retirement prospects for women and men is partially a generational issue. It's certainly my experience that women in their 70s — like my mother, who found herself divorced and re-entering the workforce in her 50s — are more comfortable leaving all the financial housekeeping to their husbands, and also less comfortable talking about money. Maybe that's just my personal experience. But I do hope, as the income gap between men and women shrinks, and more men share in the child-raising responsibilities (for example, The Motley Fool offers paternity leave to new dads), that a post like this will be largely unnecessary several years from now.
This article is about Retirement
Hi Robert, I would just like to point out that many women earn more than men.
I had four (4) female bosses at the same time. They all made more than me.
The boss above them was female as well and a company executive. There was no chance that I could see for me to move up.
So, I would not say that women earn less. On average, perhaps that is true.
Individual cases vary greatly. Many women earn more than men and we should not lose sight of that.
Nice anecdata. They're your bosses, I would hope they earn more than you!
The plural of anecdote is not data!
Yes, Men often seem to get the best deal, and it's not really fair. I also don't think it's sexist as you are just sticking to the facts. I definately think things are changing though. It's been a long slow process, look how far things have come over the decades.
"According to the Hartford study, the typical widow sees her income drop 50% when the husband passes away, yet expenses drop just 20%."
I would guess the 50% drop comes from either 1. annuities/pensions or 2. Loss of earned income.
Do you think as private companies move further away from offering pensions, and more towards defined contribution plans, we'll see this statistic attenuate a little bit? Your 401k doesn't disappear when you die.
This may have to do with pensions (though many pensions do have a reduced payout to survivors) but may simply have to do with social security. If the husband was the primary breadwinner and collects x social security, the woman if she didn't work makes .5X; the couple lives off 1.5x, but if the breadwinner spouse dies is now living on .5 x.
I wish I could be optimistic about your assessment, but just looking at who I know (such as people in my family) many people are putting no money towards retirement in any kind of IRA or 401K, because they spend all their money on current living expenses. I think things are going to get worse, not better.
Actually, the survivor gets 1x. That's what my mother, who never worked, got when my dad died.
Ah, well my parents are divorced so didn't know about that.
It depends upon how the pension plan is written. Some pensions cease upon the death of the recipient. Others continue in a reduced benefit to the surviving spouse. Pensions are getting so rare that it's unlikely to matter for most of us, however.
That doesn't sound like the right amount. Maybe you're confused. As far as social security the surviving spouse only gets 1/2 of the "breadwinner's" benefits.
As mom of five pointed out, private defined benefit pensions can have benefits paid out in any way they want to do it. Social security works one way and pensions can work just about anyway they want. So a pension can be setup to give $0 benefit to a surviving spouse or 50% or 66% or 100%. Usually the pension plan gives you a choice of how you want survivor benefits to work.
I suspect some of this is also a result of people either having a mortgage still in retirement, or not being willing to downsize their living arrangements once one spouse passes away
I think you will be writing this article for many, many years to come. I left the workforce with my husband. He is seven years older and has a pension. I do not have a pension. I never made half what my husband did anyway (even when he retired the first time and joined me in MY field). We were squirrels though. I will never be able to live in NYC or cruise for years- but then we have never wanted to do that to begin with.
I don't think that most people see the ING retirement as a reality. Personally, give me a place to walk and grandchildren nearby—and I will be content for a very long time!
Yes, I would love to be a housewife or eventual SAHM, but I know that if, God forbid, something ever happens to my husband, I will be on my own and have to provide for myself. He has life insurance that will take care of the mortgage, but I will still need to provide for everyday expenses. This is why I am worried about leaving the workforce entirely. I want to make sure my job skills are current and marketable, even if I only work part-time, in case the worst happens.
I agree with the notion of having lots of insurance if your primary career for a few years will be raising the kids.
However, I'm uncomfortable with the notion of planning my finances around the possibility of my husband divorcing me. I was unable to access the NY Times article about the woman who was presented with divorce papers after 40 years of marriage, but that doesn't stop me from having an opinion about it.
Just an off the cuff observation from the excerpt part: It seems that that lady's problems were the likely result of financial mismanagement or wanting to maintain her predivorce lifestyle not from being a SAHM – although her cluelessness about the marital assets and the state of her marriage may have sprung from some warped sense of SAHMhood. If so, shame on her and that, I think, is what you should take from what Robert has written.
They've been married 40 years? Couldn't they have just sold the house and each moved into a smaller place free and clear of a mortgage? Without a mortgage, would she still need job training? Everyone suffers financially in a divorce, but if she's financially ruined in her mid sixties, my guess is the couple wasn't doing the right things financially for many years.
I totally agree with Becky. No, you don't want to live your whole life with that suspicion of "maybe he'll divorce me," but there are plenty of other things that can happen. Long-term disability and death are at the top of that list. My aunt was widowed at 40 and left with 7 kids and no jobs skills. Fortunately, my uncle was in finance and let her in very good shape, but as the last of her kids graduates from high school and she has no education or job skills, she's trying to figure out (at age 55) what to do. Permanent disability is another scary thought. While there is some disability assistance, it wouldn't replace a full-time salary, even if you had some disability insurance.
I think you can access it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/01/fashion/sundaystyles/01LOVE.html?pagewanted=all and if not, Google the part Robert quoted and it will come up.
I read it when it was first linked here, and on the topic of her divorce, I believe he was an alcoholic and was leaving her for another woman, which is probably why he wasn't more equitable/less contentious with the settlement.
Thanks for the article link! It really doesn't answer my questions though. Why did she still have a mortgage after all those years? Was there any retirement money? She surely would have been entitled to a portion of that?
There's not enough information in the article to have a definite answer, but I will speculate that woman fell on difficult times due to poor financial planning, not because she didn't plan for a divorce. My guess is if you asked her husband how he was set for retirement his answer would be not well.
If the point is that both spouses need to have a handle on the finances and retirement money, I agree. If the point is that one *needs* to prepare for divorce, I'll disagree.
I read the article and I too am a little confused as to how she got so screwed. Maybe the laws are different in NY. I suspect that since he filed for an 'at fault' (she mentions 16 pages of them) divorce that played into it, perhaps he refinanced the house and 'gave' the money to the mistress – so he didn't have it anymore (she was clearly blindsided, I guess he could have been making moves for a while). Maybe they really weren't as well off financially as she thought they were – and they're lifestyle had been bought on credit with no retirement funds (this is what I suspect is the real reason).
The real take way is that if she had been knowledgable about their finances – even looked at the accounts – she would have been protected from most shenanigans on his part.
Maybe be could afford the better lawyer.
It doesn't say if she's still in the home she shared with her, so maybe she has sold it since the divorce? It's possible she still had to pay the old mortgage, make the repairs, etc. in the year or two after the divorce, when perhaps she was too far in shock to make the decision to sell.
Because of a series of decisions I've made in the past, and a series of events I could not control I am part of the statistic, not the super, high-powered nouveau femme. This post is a good reminder to keep on top of things financially for the long-term, especially if marriage and partnership is not in the cards for me.
To some extent, the fact that this is a gender phenomenon is a generational thing. I think this is valuable advice for everyone. Even if you're a guy in a "traditional" family, presumably there are women you care about, and thus you need to think about these issues as well.
I have generally out-earned my husband and I am our household money manager. I worry about how he'd manage without me, and try to plan with an eye toward his well-being if I die first or we divorce.
A couple of factors that have been ignored.
FMLA is not just for babies.
Major Heart Attack – Considered an illness and a badge of honor, no pay issues. Time for rehab readily accommodated.
Birth – considered a handicap. Time to follow-up with child and family issues resented.
So there is one difference. Also need to consider that the birth can be planned for and backups trained, not so with heart attack.
The other issue about women in male dominated fields. How many wives accept and encourage their husbands to socialize with female coworkers outside of the office. How many husbands are comfortable with this. This is an important part of working with your team and in getting ahead.
Until we recognize that both genders have absences from work and need to be considered as absences without the why. Also need to figure out how to address the issue of socialization outside of work and how folks plan to address it without alienating the spouses.
I am a little surprised at the comments here. I read the NYT article referred in this post, and from it it follows that for 40 years of marriage the woman did not concern her with things like mortgage or car payments. Is that her husband's fault? Also, she seemed to expect that the alimony she received (the money to support a smaller household) would be similar to what she was used to have to run a larger household. Why?
One's spouse is not one's slave, people change and circumstances change. I do not think my husband owes me a living (he is the main bread winner, and I did stay with OUR kids for a couple of years – but I consider that a privilege. SAHM is NOT a job, and is not really comparable to one, sorry, girls – it is very different, and usually the pressure is a lot less). A woman staying at home with the kids is not doing her husband a favor – provided those are HER kids as well. It is a choice that both parties make, and the choice that should be reconsidered as circumstances change.
Finally – how can one compare a heart attack and having a baby? If you had a choice – which one would you have? Pregnancy and birth are usually joyous events, and occur in most cases by choice. Heart attack is not joyous by any stretch of imagination, and not a choice.
Another suggestion that I wish was on here and would be more impactful for ALL women is…Write, Call, Meet with, Email your legislators about the negative effects of wage discrimination based on sex. Fight for equal pay for equal work, better family leave policies and more flexibility for families who are having kids and working! Get involved.
I wish this post had just said explicitly that all those examples are a function of sexism…this is what institutional sexism looks like folks. Not to mention the impact of race for women of color.
Very timely, post Mother's day.
Definitely looking forward to more updates on unique issues surrounding women and retirement.
Someone must've deleted a comment… got it in my email. Anyway the article about being a SAHM's salary comes from http://www.salary.com/what-s-a-mom-worth-in-2012/ – I'm just pasting the summary here, but read through:
"After averaging the salaries of these top 10 mom jobs, we were able to calculate how much moms would earn if they actually received a paycheck for their work, including overtime pay.
Stay-at-home moms work a total of 94.7 hours a week, with a 40-hour base and 54.7 hours of overtime on their mom duties. That's good for an annual salary of $112,962, or $17.80 an hour. But we all know the value of raising one or more people into quality human beings cannot ever be truly calculated.
Working moms make less with an estimated annual salary of $66,979, logging 57.9 hours a week (40 base, 17.9 of OT), regarding their mom duties. But that doesn't take into account the 35.7 hours a week these career moms are averaging at a paying job, where they make an average annual salary of $45,515. Working mothers have a constant tightrope to walk in balancing family and home, which makes the work they do in both arenas that much more impressive. "
I am not saying this is 100% accurate (I mean, we all have to do something to take care of ourselves and our family – men as well). I think the JOB aspect of staying at home varies also with the age and needs of your child or children. Plus it does suck that in a partnership, where it's financially reasonable (or even responsible) for one person to stay home to care for the children that it results in serious negative financial impact for one person.
Your generation needs to grow the eff UP! WOW – you guys really, really, REALLY think you're effin VICTIMS?????? Get the hell over yourselves. RIGHT NOW. You haven't got a clue – not even a hint of one. GROW UP! And for God's sake get the hell over yourselves. What a bunch of cry babies you are. WAKE UP!
You are living in AMERICA and I, for one, am sick to death of your cry baby antics.
And no, I am not a white male, rich guy – on the contrary I am a female, lawyer who lived well below the poverty level and NEVER took one dime of welfare $. Graduated from law school with honors, all the while raising a babe.
Seriously – your generation makes me PUKE. What a bunch of light-weight cry babies you are. You are NOT what AMERICA is made of. Your parents must just hang their heads in shame


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The Canadian Press - ONLINE EDITION
'Kinky Boots' struts off with the most Tonys; 'Pippin' and 'Vanya and Sonia' also win big
NEW YORK, N.Y. - The feel-good musical "Kinky Boots," with songs by pop star and Broadway newcomer Cyndi Lauper, strutted away with a leading six 2013 Tony Awards on Sunday, including best musical, best original score and best leading man.
Christopher Durang's comical "Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike" won the best play Tony. "Matilda the Musical" and "Pippin" won four awards each and two other shows — "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" and "The Nance" — shared three awards each. Tom Hanks left empty-handed, a Broadway newcomer not fated to be a "Lucky Guy."
Neil Patrick Harris was back for his fourth turn as host and was once again crucial to keeping the show funny and smart. He opened with a razzle-dazzle bang amid dozens of dancers and singers — even getting boxer Mike Tyson to hoof — and closed it three hours later by rapping with Audra McDonald to a reworked "Empire State of Mind."
The big, opening number started with Harris simply holding a guitar in a pub like "Once" but quickly morphed into a flashy number that showcased performers from almost a dozen musicals. Harris sang "It's bigger! Tonight it's bigger," jumped through a hoop, vanished from a box and promised a "truly legendary show" before glitter guns went off.
Lauper, who popularized the hit "Girls Just Want to Have Fun," was part of an impressive group of women who took top honours. Diane Paulus and Pam MacKinnon both won for directing — a rare time women have won directing Tonys for both a musical and a play in the same year. (It happened most recently at the 1998 Tonys.)
It was also a night that celebrated diversity: Of the eight trophies for acting, four went to African-Americans.
"Kinky Boots" — based on a 2005 film about a failing shoe factory that turns to making drag queen boots — also won for choreography and two technical awards, and Billy Porter won for leading man in a musical.
Along the way, Porter had to beat "Kinky Boots" co-star Stark Sands and told him from the stage: "You are my rock, my sword, my shield. Your grace gives me presence. I share this award with you. I'm gonna keep it at my house! But I share it with you."
Durang's play centres on three middle-aged siblings uneasily negotiating with age and hysterically mixes in references to Lindsay Lohan, Maggie Smith and ancient Greek drama.
Paulus won her first Tony for directing the crackling, high-energy, circus-based revival of the musical "Pippin," which also earned the best revival honour and helped Patina Miller earn a best leading actress trophy.
Paulus dedicated her award to her parents, "who gave me the best gift a daughter could ever hope for, the encouragement to do what you love with your life, which for me was the theatre."
For Miller, the win caps a whirlwind few years. She was nominated for back-to-back Tonys for her first roles on Broadway and is engaged. "Honey I can't wait to marry you!" she told her fiance.
MacKinnon won for directing the play "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" a year after earning her first nomination for helming "Clybourne Park." Her revival of Edward Albee's story of marital strife won the best play revival and earned playwright and actor Tracy Letts his first acting Tony. Letts, speaking on behalf of all actors, called what he does "the greatest job on Earth."
Andrea Martin, 66, who won as featured actress in a musical, plays Pippin's grandmother and has been stunning audiences nightly by doing jaw-dropping stunts.
Courtney B. Vance won for best featured actor in a play for portraying a newspaper editor opposite Hanks in "Lucky Guy." He dedicated his award to his mother.
Judith Light won her second featured actress in a play Tony in two years, cementing the former TV star of "Who's the Boss?" as a Broadway star. In "The Assembled Parties," she ages from about 53 to 73 over the play's two acts. She beat out Judith Ivey, Condola Rashad, Shalita Grant and Carrie Coon.
"I want to thank every woman that I am in this category nominated with: you have made this a celebration, not a competition," she said.
Gabriel Ebert of "Matilda the Musical" won as best featured actor in a musical. He thanked his four Matildas and his parents, stooping down to speak into the microphone.
Cicely Tyson, 88, won the best leading actress in a play honours for the revival of "The Trip to Bountiful," the show's only award on the night. It was the actress' first time back on Broadway in three decades.
"'Please wrap it up,' it says. Well, that's exactly what you did with me: You wrapped me up in your arms after 30 years," she said.
Going into the night, "Kinky Boots" and "Matilda the Musical" were fierce rivals, but the musical adaptation of the novel by Roald Dahl managed only best book, best featured actor and a few technical awards. Shows that walked away empty-handed from Radio City Music Hall included the acrobatic "Bring It On: The Musical," the hit-heavy "Motown the Musical" and "A Christmas Story, the Musical."
Some of the telecast highlights included the stunning kids on Broadway — the orphans in "Annie," the actor Raymond Luke Jr. as a pre-teen Michael Jackson in "Motown the Musical," and the dancing tots in "A Christmas Story, the Musical" — especially the young tap dancer wizard Luke Spring — plus the four young women in "Matilda."
Harris got his face licked by the dog playing Sandy in "Annie," made fun of Tyson and Shia LaBeouf, who left a revival of "Orphans" before the show opened and then tweeted about it, and joined with "Smash" star Megan Hilty, "Go On" star Laura Benanti and former "The Book of Mormon" star Andrew Rannells to skewer theatre stars who seek fame on TV with a twisted version of "What I Did For Love" from "A Chorus Line."
The Tonys, picked by 868 theatre voters, cap a somewhat grim financial season on Broadway in which the total box office take was flat and the number of ticket buyers slipped 6 per cent. Both numbers were blamed in part on Superstorm Sandy, but high ticket prices and the lack of long term audience growth has many worried.
AP Entertainment Writer Frazier Moore and AP National Writer Jocelyn Noveck contributed to this report.
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Snowy Owl Wall Art Print... the beauty of the outdoors, interpreted by one of today's finest artists!
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Gates Corporation is a global diversified industrial company that provides advanced power transmission and fluid transfer solutions by engineering products and services that reduce the total cost of ownership for a wide variety of applications. Our products and services serve customers in several end market segments.
As an engineering leader with a strong foundation in research and development, Gates is committed to advancing the science of motion performance by developing safe, forward-thinking products, services, systems, and solutions, as well as fostering long-term customer and employee relationships. Headquartered in Denver, Colorado, Gates employs over 14,000 people across 106 locations in 30 countries.
If it moves you, there's a good chance Gates has a part in it. Gates. Powering Progress.
Gates will advance the science of motion performance by being the partner of choice for the most trusted systems, services, and components in power transmission and fluid transfer applications.
INTEGRITY: We are trustworthy and candid; we act responsibly; we are reliable.
ACCOUNTABILITY: We are thoughtful in our planning; we take ownership of our performance; we all accept responsibility for working safely.
INITIATIVE: We are always looking ahead; we follow through energetically and with determination; we strive for service excellence.
COLLABORATION: We are willing and cooperative; our teamwork makes us more successful.
CURIOSITY: Our thirst for knowledge helps us see opportunities; we continually seek new information.
QUALITY: What we do, we do well; we are uncompromising in the quality and safety of our systems, services, and products.