text:
Top 5 Essentials That A Guy Should Have
When He's Trying to Impress A Woman
So, with that in mind, we decided to ask two friends (one male and one female) to weigh in on the topic: What are the top five things a guy should have in his apartment when hosting a female guest with the intention to impress? (Disclaimer: This is with the intention to impress a potential girlfriend, not a one-night stand sort of thing. That's a slightly different list.)
From the female perspective, Kelley offers us her top five essentials:
5. Toilet Paper
4. A Clean Bathroom
3. Water (both utility and for drinking. Girls like filtered water...or at least I do.)
2. Something bought that you know she likes. Flowers if she is obvious, or a favorite food item (like Nutella) or alcoholic beverage.
1. A fresh clean towel just for her
And from the male perspective, Russell offers his top five essentials:
5. A good floor lamp, or at least a versatile desk lamp. Lighting is key. Candles expose the fact that you're trying too hard, but overhead lighting is an absolute turn off. Ideally, more than one lighting source; but in a pinch, a floor lamp with a dimmer will do.
4. A turntable with a copy of Al Green's "I'm Still in Love with You." This should go without saying, but I'll say it anyway: Side one of this record is better than an ounce the mythical Spanish fly. You definitely need to be careful with this record though; it will get you in some serious trouble if you unleash it before you know for sure what you're getting into. Because once this genie is out of her bottle, you won't be 'just friends' ever again. The turntable part should be self explanatory, man up and get one if you don't already.
3. Funky Fresh Sheets -- you know, good looking; highest thread count you can afford. My ex fell for me on the basis of a fancy set of red pillow cases with super 70s style stars on 'em. She stuck around for ten years before the pillowcases fell apart too. I actually own the same sheets that Pam Grier owned in Foxy Brown; and if you think women don't notice your bedding, then you probably wear Crocs.
2. A nice well stocked supply of the "Things-To-Do." Watching videos is for couples that are either solidly together or just need a pretext to get busy. If you wanna get to know someone, pour a round of drinks and play a game of backgammon or dominos (not Scrabble, unless you were both English Lit majors). Simple games are natural aphrodisiacs: competitive; but in a playful, friendly way. They allow conversation to flow freely and give you both a way to avoid awkward silences. Plus, girls always look so cute when they are making that "I'm concentrating" look with their lips.
1. A super comfy towel. She's gonna "stay the night," so she's gonna, at some point, need to use a towel. Make sure she feels pampered by it.
And there you have it. Interestingly enough, both parties ranked the importance of a good, clean towel (and they didn't collaborate on their lists at all) as the number one essential to have. Got your own must-have list? Share your suggestions in the comments...
86 Comments
"..and if you think women don't notice your bedding, then you probably wear Crocs." Maybe even with board shorts. Hilarious and true.
breakfast plans. It could be just planning on making eggs or waffles (or both!) or a bagel shop you love.
But, lunch you can decide later, stay in or go out, same with dinner, but breakfast just kind of pops up on you as the first thing. So have a plan...
Not just a clean looking bathroom but clean the freaking toilet. All of it, scrub it. It's something you ignore and can look like you like to live in filth easily.
Its True... I brought a girl home for the first time who I layer ended up dating more seriously, and she walked around complimenting me on how clean my place was.
She then later told me how nice it was that I had a bed that was more comfortable then hers.... Its all about making your place inviting, and not in a sleasy way.
I know someone whose entire house looks exactly like that photo, right down to some of the models in the case and the comic book boxes in the background. Is that a Major Matt Mason walker in the background on the wood counter? Whoever did the sets for this movie did his/her homework with a vengeance. Although the walls should be covered with framed posters and lobby cards.
I have a set of Galaxy Quest drinking glasses. I'm a girl. A dorky girl, but a girl nonetheless.
A clean bed with clean sheets and a clean comforter or duvet cover. Clean is key! Chocolate doesn't hurt either. I found it endearing when my ex had a shower squeegee.
I managed to fall for a guy that used sleeping bags as sheets on his bed. Now we live together and he appreciated the real high thread count sheets I insisted on us having :)
Along with that clean toilet make sure you get the pubic hairs off the floor, it is astounding how many times I've seen this (but maybe the guys I know are just gross).
I agree with annerosenbaum--cleanliness is best (esp in the bathroom).
I concur: a nice lamp or two! Not only for good lighting during your date, but because it shows you care about and are attentive to the feel of your surroundings. When I first walked into my now-husband's apartment, I knew it was a good thing because he had two sweet and stylish little lamps he had picked up at the flea market.
And, even though his bathroom was already pretty clean, when I wanted to take a bath he immediately cleaned the tub without my having to ask.
One thing that I always notice with my single guy friends, their apartments are really warm. I think it has to do with their love of walking around in just their boxer shorts or something... but check your temp. Make it comfortable but more on the chilly side than the sweaty side so that you have an excuse to pull out a blanket and snuggle when you are watching a movie together
Liquid hand soap. I don't want to use the bar you scrubbed your bum with and then set by the sink.
I guess Douglas Adams was right about the importance of towels.
Sheets for sure. What is it with guys and their nasty, thin sheets that won't even stay on the bed? And some of them don't even have a mattress pad. Yuck. Talk about uninviting!
LOL, the converse of Melanie8's if you're a girl-- I always try to have both liquid AND bar soap in the bathroom, because I've noticed way too many guys seem to not even register the liquid stuff as "soap" and just do the quick rinse if there isn't a bar. Don't ask me why, it's weird but true.
Here's what got me into trouble on my last date- he turned all the lights off to watch a movie. Guys may think the dark is just part of the movie-watching experience, but it sets a level of intimacy that was WAY too high for where we were at.
I like how the man says a turntable is a must and the woman assumes he may not have toilet paper. Which just means she's dated more slobs than he has, which makes sense, but is hysterical.
"and if you think women don't notice your bedding, then you probably wear Crocs." LMAO.. I love you Grace!!
But what if you WANT a guy with an apartment full of toys...?
But definitely nice bedding and a clean bathroom with TP.
Ok, maybe it's obvious to other people but I'm just going to ask- Why is the turntable self-explanatory? Is that a must for 'older folks'?
honestly the turntable with al green could either be read as a cute dorky attempt at suave, or could seem sleazy, depending on how the guy cam off in general. Turntable = hot; Al Green = cliche.
I'm sorry, a turntable? Gimme a break. That's my parents, not my boyfriend. I wouldn't hold it against a guy if he had one, but ... really.
Otherwise, good suggestions. Reminds me of this first date with a guy who lived in the dorms... all male... he had to scope out the mens' room to make sure no one was in it so I could use it, as there was no ladies'. It was really funny.
Knowing what she likes definitely scores. Once after my husband and I got into a fight, he brought home cinnamon bread and cocoa (and salmon canned food for the cat, who was also involved in the dispute.) It was definitely a comfort food night.
P.S. There's a certain number of toys we'll put up with, but I know someone who broke up with her boyfriend because he spent more on his Star Wars figurines than on her.
I got scabies from an ex-boyfriend's couch that he was delighted to score for free on the street, so I have to echo the request for cleanliness.
If your couch smells like a wet dog, has bugs or requires the addition of plywood to keep the springs off the floor, I am probably not going to stick around long enough to make out on said couch.
The sad thing is that I am long out of college and still find men with nasty couches to date.
Oh and if I make it to the bedroom, I do find it kinda nasty if the fitted sheet is coming off and there is no matress pad ('cause what if you found that mattress on the street too!?!).
Yeah, on that turntable thing, I agree with annamaria. I am of the turntable-cassette generation, and I sure as hell would not want one in a bachelor pad. I mean really, even CDs are getting passee. All the music on a MacBook on the coffeetable wireless to a good stereo: that's the way to go.
Who are these people?? (meaning Kelley and Russell)
Clean, decently clean. Possibly cleaner than your eyes are used to looking for, so someone else take a look. Especially your own bed, even if you don't expect her to stay in it. No pictures of exes around. No pinups unless they are *very* vintage looking. Change the cat litter if you have a cat.
Anna Maria again here: I just didn't understand why the turntable was being touted as hotter (or something one had to man up to get).
What is being done with that turntable that can't be done with an iPod!
the turn table i think it meant for the newer "hipper" generation then the older" had it when they were young" kind of thing.
I knew a few of my friends who had turntables or multiple turntables and were proud of their vinyl. I was an art student and all of them were too, so it just kind of goes with the territory. I had no preference for them but don't really see the need to have one...
Clean sheets and a clean bathroom are the most important. Snacks are good too.
I think the turntable thing is not important, just playing music is. Although I admit I've never dated a guy who didn't have a turntable and records. But then I am 35. I have a turntable and records. But it's just not as important as the basics.
Actually, I'm thinking the turntable was probably just being suggested in service of recommending the 'first side' of an album- for this AT entry.
I think what a turntable provides that an iPod or mp3's in general cannot is a warm, high fidelity audio experience. If one is a true audiophile, which I can safely say myself and Russell both are, then a turntable and clean vinyl are about as necessary as having just about anything else.
I think it shows a certain level of pride and attention to detail to have a nice turntable and a decent music collection. If music is your thing that is.
Certainly I find it more interesting than a collection of Furby's.
Basically get your apartment together better than if you were expecting a visit from your parents. After all you wouldn't like to see your mom spending part of her visit cleaning house, so make sure there is nothing to clean, no dust, etc. Make sure you have a well stocked refrigerator with plenty of stuff with which to make snacks. Provide a wide variety of items to drink, not just water. Make sure the kitchen is thoroughly clean, not just the bathroom, this means not just clean countertops, but also no dishes in the sink.
If she's staying overnight and the relationship has not become intimate, discreetly place folded sheets, pillows, blanket etc. near your couch. This conveys to her that you will be sleeping on the couch and she will be sleeping in your bed.
In the past year, I've experienced the extremes of guy apartments. Number one had a bathroom that warranted shoes rather than mere flip flops and a kitchen with a dirty litter box. Number two has fluffy towels, nice iPod mixes made for my taste, and French-press coffee. Guess which one I'm dating? Guys, you might not mind your gross apartment with it's associated fungi, but other people will.
I've never dated a guy who didn't own a turntable and a record collection. It is definitely way hotter to put on a record than to push a few buttons on an ipod. Then again, I have a turntable and record collection, too.
And I'll add a bit of a twist for what about all the gay men and women (I'm also assuming Bi's and Trans people too)? A lot of these will also work there as well, and I should add these.
Make sure the kitchen is CLEAN, that is, counters cleaned, the stoved wiped off, floor clean, all recyclables and garbage out and no dirty dishes anywhere, all should be cleaned and PUT AWAY. I'm a little forgiving if clean dishes are left in the dishwasher but please make sure it's been run though for it'd be embarrasing to have to wash a plate and/or utensils the next morning to make breakfast. Never, ever just pull said dirty plate out of the dishwasher and rinse it in cold water and glop the food onto it still damp. I had that happen to me w/ a male friend when he offered me dinner for helping him, um, no.
I also second the clean bathroom and bedroom, especially the bed if possible. I'd also ensure that when you scrub the tub, get the surround too for that can get nasty w/ scaley stuff too.
Good music and good lighting through lamps, definitely and I'd shy away from raucus rock unless you know he/she loves it. I'd play something fun like vintage Jazz and yes, I'd do it on a turntable for I have one and do use it regularly if possible.
And last but not least, PICK UP your clothes, jackets and put them away and remove all garbage easily seen
If he/she is staying over, ensure a clean, unused spare toothbrush and clean towell and washcloth are out.
Older than most of you, I think this interest in vinyl recordings is silly -- digital media have much better fidelity and are also lots more convenient. Gold plated monster cables are a joke -- so is vinyl. (Not that I want to interfere with anybody's superstitious beliefs!)
I kind of think guys should leave their places the way they live in them. Of course it WILL turn off lots of women if you happen to be a juvenile slob, but better they know that from the outset than find out too late! Truth in advertising! That way, only women willing to take you as you are will hang around, so it's kind of a self-screening process.
Date gay men! This is not difficult.
CLEANLINESS is most important. i hated going to certain guys friends houses because their apts were so gross. any room she will be in should be cleaned!
i'd advise to try to make it as hotel-like as possible. freshly cleaned sheets (fitted AND flat sheet), towels, and clean bathroom (scrub everything, toilet, sink shower, floor!) i agree that liquid soap hand soap is a must... many girls get creeped out by bar soap- unless its a brand new nice looking freshly wrapped bar soap.
make sure your place smells GOOD, a candle in the bathroom is nice.
have stuff in the fridge (and make sure its clean!) in case shes thirsty or needs a snack! i dont know why but again all my guy friends never had anything in their fridges.
have a plan for things to do.
its crazy how many guys overlook these things, which to me seems to just be plain common sense!
no pictures of ex-girlfriends or wives, please. It's wonderful to be amicable and friendly, but do put the photos away.
sorry, kelleymeansbusiness, i'm gonna razz you for that:
as an audiophile, you couldn't get busy to anything newer than music on record albums? because anything else would be inconsiderate?
otherwise, the suggestion of getting a turntable in consideration of the guest is so that the guy can play Al Green specifically?
and do the dishes and put them away.
Razz away!
I am not saying that I can't get busy to anything other than tunes off of vinyl...i'm not that crazy....just as someone with over 1,000 records it's something I appreciate and value. Like, you could get down on an Ikea couch....but wouldn't you rather a really rad Barcelona or something more unique?
I guess since I love vinyl and collect it I see where Russell is coming from. I see people who collect records as being very similar to people who love and collect design and unique furniture. You can get your furniture cheaper and in a lesser quality, or if you want to or see the value in it, you can go for the real deal.
Ultimately it's less about a hard rule and more about showing off your interests and values.
In any case, if someone played me amazing music off an iPod I wouldn't walk out.
When I saw my boyfriend's apartment for the first time the following things immediately impressed me:
1. He had nice, FRAMED art on the walls, photographs, not a Rambo poster.
2. His house was clean & organized
3. He had nice clean sheets and a duvet cover
4. He had a couple candles already near the bed
5. He had a clean bathroom
6. He had a seriously impressive collection of books. Don't date people who do not read.
Anyway, we now live together and it's lovely. He even convinced me to buy black sheets, which I thought would look terrible but now I think looks really cool.
If you are not into collecting records, I would not recommend a turntable. I once had a guy friend who had a crush on me buy a turntable and some of my favorite records (I collect them) in an effort to impress and it was more off-putting than anything.
Deep cleaning (even hiring someone if you're afraid you won't see the little (pubic) details is a good idea. Makes her feel like you are taking this seriously
(Favorite) snacks and drinks make her feel like you listen.
Room for her to hang her clothing up and place her personal items that feels like her own little bit of space.
A favorite breakfast place is great.
Bad idea - Taking her to that that bar that you always run into the drunk ex (exes!)
On the chilly side! Don't most guys hope girls will want to get out of those sweaters?
Anyone who thinks digital is sexier than vinyl doesn't get it. Selecting a record, slipping it out of the jacket, delicately putting the tone arm down--that's sensual.
Push button music = push button sex.
Cleanliness is the only thing I care about. ESPECIALLY the bathroom, that grosses me out so much to see hairs and things lying around.
My friend in graduate literally never once (in 3 years) vacuumed his apartment. Or cleaned the bathroom. His girlfriend had to make him go buy a new shower curtain and scrub the shower before she would stay there.
As a former music journalist, I probably have at least 1500 pieces of vinyl--sitting downstairs in storage, alongside a trove of very expensive, extremely wonderful sounding old-school stereo equipment. Sorry, but with all that and the subsequent inundation of CDs, something in my apartment had to give. Sure, I miss the act of putting on an actual record--and good Lord, I miss the artistry of album covers and liner notes--but having to get up every 22 minutes to flip vinyl? Not feelin' it. Having guys come in and be flabbergasted that a girl had this kind of set up and that rare Teardrop Explodes EP they'd only dreamt about and watching them spend the next two hours drooling over my record shelves instead of me? Wasn't feelin' that, either. Strictly digital now. It's the MUSIC that's important, not the medium, and the sound difference, especially in the (hoped for) heat of the moment, is negligible to all but audiophiles. Hint: CDs sound appreciatively better than MP3, and both sound remarkably better--much warmer--when played through a clunky set of high quality, old-school speakers. Them, you keep upstairs.
From gay guy here: clean bathroom. And clean sheets and no stuffed animals on bed if we reach the third date.
I am with Sherrybin in believing people should be themselves and live as they live. If you are really a slob, I will atleast know what I am getting myself into.
I do however think that its really nice to have a fridge with things I can eat & drink. That's part of being a good host. Nothing crazy just a better selection than beer or tap water.
I always loved it when a guy cooks, nothing complicated, just the whole-hearted attempt was nice - better than a restaurant. If a guy can't cook, bring in some good take-out or have a simple recipe that he and his guest can shop and work on together. At least have some good dessert or chocolate for later...
I liked seeing evidence of a guy's interests - if I didn't know what they were before I came to his place, maybe I should rethink staying overnight.
A few pictures of family, friends, events always helped break the conversation and reassured me that I wasn't staying with some crazy loner dude.
Some decor and objects that are interesting, not entirely out of the Dollar Store or Big Lots. I was never bothered by someone doing budget decorating, but you just want to see that the guy cares enough about himself to try and put some thought into his environment.
I listen to digital, I want to be romanced by a turntable - or better yet, a real instrument that he can really play. (My husband is a musician and I love him dearly!)
I agree with all the other stuff about food and cleanliness, but I think there should be LOTS of towels, just in case... ;)
i'm a girl & have a huge rastorbation of an explosion from a comic in my kitchen. personally, i'm impressed when i see some comics, books, & a seriously nice computer. nerds make the best boyfriends.
also, yeah, the kitchen & bathroom should be clean. the worst is when you have to clean a glass b/c the sink is full.
Amen, Palmetto gets it. I would never date someone who thought digital was better quality/better experience than vinyl. I have both, but digital is strictly for ipod listening on the go. But for date night? No way. Although that's not quite as sad as going to see a DJ who uses an ipod (or two) instead of decks.
And to the people who keep saying "new" music (as opposed to "old" vinyl) new albums still come out on vinyl.
Vinyl lovers... I admit, I did miss what you consider the "sensuality" of vinyl (maybe because I disagree with the idea) -- I concede others may feel that way. But what about the dead silence that occurs when the disc ends just when things are getting interesting? At least with digital music the music continues until you choose to stop it...
I completely agree, keep it clean. Im in my early twenties working in NYC and I guess growing up with a very clean mother and three picky sisters rubbed off on me because all I get is compliments on my spotless apartment. When I have ladies come over they always ohhh and ahhhh and how clean the apt is it always helps to seal the deal.
The vinyl/mp3 debate never ceases to amaze me. I have had both in my lifetime (I am only 22, but I got my first record at 7) and I prefer digital whole heartedly because it makes the music I love more accessible.
I think that if I was dating someone and they thought that digital/vinyl differences was a reason to break-up, I would have to say good riddence. I am a film buff, hard core, but I would never, ever judge a person for enjoying films on their computer screens rather than on a projector. It's just petty.
to Rick Roberts.. I am dating a gay man - and he's the straightest gay man I know. The first time we went to his house his bed was a mattress on the floor with a sleeping bag strewn across it. It almost spelled the end for me.
Other past dates that have spelled disaster: guys talking about where their projection screen tv and 'footbal watching chair' are going.
Guys having a set of sheets that were like 24 thread count. I'd rather sleep on sandpaper.
Something DECENT to eat! Even if it's a bowl of cereal or knowing a good takeout restaurant! Nothing kills the mood like a 'date' at Taco Bell.
A few nice toiletries- shampoo, liquid soap, a spare comb - that can be shared. I'm not expecting the Four Seasons, but an ancient bottle of Pert Plus and few scraps of Ivory soap do not encourage visitors to linger.
One of the comments mentioned that putting folded up sheets/blanket/pillow on the couch would tell her that you were going to sleep on the couch and the girl in your bed.
Uh. That's not what I would think if a guy did that for me. I would think that he's getting the sheets for the couch for me so that I'll have everything I need during the night and I won't need to go into his bedroom to ask him for something (like an extra blanket).
First let me just say that when I wrote my top five list it didn't even occur to me that I should include "clean your damn apartment" on the list. Cleaning the place up just didn't seem like a "thing" to me; a thing to do perhaps but not a thing. Plus, as Anthony Bourdain said, if a restaurant can't be bothered to clean its bathroom -- and they know we are going to see that disgusting mess -- we can only imagine whats going on in their kitchen, which is kept out of our sight. In other word, if your potential lover's bathroom is a polio pond, you can pretty much guarantee that his junk is gonna smell like cheese.
Secondly, I really had no idea the turntable comment was such a raw nerve. But I'm glad to see that its caused a nice, sometimes heated but civil, discussion. Let me clarify my own position. I am a lover of music in all its glorious formats. I own several ipods and my laptop connects directly to my stereo and pumps tunes throughout the apartment. In fact, I most often listen to music digitally. That said, I think any serious music lover will agree that when we put a record on the turntable we simply listen to it differently -- giving it more of our immediate attention -- than when we have music playing off a laptop or ipod. I think the movie analogy that was made earlier in the thread is apt. There are many ways to watch a movie, in fact I sometimes even watch them on my iphone because it is convenient. But seeing a movie on the big screen, where we know we can't pause the action, forces us to give ourselves over to the experience, allowing us to fall more deeply into the story and thereby rewarding us with a richer experience. In this way it is a more sensuous experience, similar to the way we look at a new lover, giving them our full attention and not taking them for granted... yet.
Reasonable people can agree to disagree about these things, the lists were personal, and I've enjoyed reading all of the idiosyncratic things that others have suggested. There is only one post that I feel the need to address directly, because this person is so wrong it hurts. Hurts to the very core of my being. And that is the sub-human that referred to Al Green as "cliche." You my dear are beyond hope. I should wish a pox on you, but for the fact that if you can't appreciate that the first five tracks of this album are as perfect a movement of music as has ever been created in the beautiful idiom of soul, then you are already suffering the worstes of curses.
- Russell
My top 5 would be:
1. Clean The Apartment/House - there is nothing more disgusting that walking in and seeing someone else's junk and clothes and etc laying around -- it doesn't have to be perfect but it should be presentable.
2. Bedroom - Decent sheets and extra pillows since not everyone is comfy with just one. Plus having a little room to hang up my stuff or maybe a drawer (or even half of one) to put things in makes it feel like home.
3. Bathroom - I think pretty much this has been covered from others - no one wants to use a toilet that looks like the last time it was cleaned was more than a year ago. Plus an extra comb, toothbrush, etc is always going to make someone feel more like home.
4. Plans - It's ok if you aren't a good cook - either we share in cooking or at least find a few decent places to eat. Though room should be left open for talking, cuddling, maybe both reading, etc.
5. Decent Furniture - Who wants to sit on a couch that looks like the guy drug it out of the dumpster? That should just go in caring about your environment. If it looks like you live out of a dumpster, I doubt I am going to think you are some cool suave guy.
Just to add a few extras...background music that would be pleasing to both parties, actually having more than condiments in the fridge
If I wasn't intimate with the guy, I'd feel a little bad taking over his bed and telling him to hit the couch. So a guest bed or at least a pull out should be open for whichever party decides to take it.
In a twist on the above, here are my Top 6 Must NOT Haves:
1. Milk crates as furniture (hidden in closet as storage is somewhat acceptable)
2. Floors I don't feel safe walking barefoot on (any room)
3. Obvious cat box (aka I can see and/or smell it)
4. Dirty linens
5. Dirty bathroom
6. Sink FULL of dirty dishes (1-2 is ok)
No opinion on the vinyl vs. non- debate. As long as the music's good, I'm content.
Russell's tips are great! Every single guy should read this. The floor lamp tip especially - lighting makes such a difference.
My bonus list:
1. On food, if you can't cook well, have someone teach you to make scrambled eggs. Eggs and toast with butter and jam are so easy and so yummy.
2. I also think a coffee set up can be important. The single cup filter cones work great, and they are inexpensive.
3. If you can keep plants alive, one or two can add a lot to a space.
You folks dissing turntables are nutjobs! I don't get your remarks at all. A turntable is usually the sign of an audiophile & a person who cares about quality in music, generally speaking. In case you haven't noticed, there's a renaissance in vinyl. Sure mp3, iTunes & the like is very convenient & I use it all the time, BUT I also know they're just digital bits that can't compare to analog, & bummer of bummers hard drives eventually crash & fail. It's not if, but when:) It might be like comparing estate grown extra virgin unfiltered olive oil, with pure olive oil that's been filtered & had all the life stripped out of it. I realize many people aren't going to care which is absolutely fine.
TP, that's another matter, I don't understand people budgeting extra cash to buy premium toilet paper. THAT makes no sense to me:)
My husband didn't know about good sheets until we got together. I gave him a pair of nices ones for our first Christmas and it was life changing.
My "requirements":
1. Clean bathroom with multiple rolls of toilet paper.
2. Clean good sheets
3. Clean towels (at least 2 preferably)
4. Snacky food and wine
Vinyl - sounded like crap for nearly 100 years before the CD arrived, still sounds like crap today. Noisy, distorted crap. Yes Virginia, even a $10,000 turntable playing a hundred dollar "virgin vinyl" pressing. A $5 used CD from Amoeba in a $99 DVD player blows it away in terms of fidelity.
If my date whipped out an archaic Al Greene cliche and slapped it on a music-killing turntable, I would flee that poseur's pad as fast as my feet could carry me.
Besides basic cleanliness, if a new man in my life has a few healthy house plants, I always feel more at ease and optimistic about the possibilities.
Good call on the lighting as well.
Some dispassionate information on the turntable argument...
CDs and certain digital formats can retain a more accurate reproduction of musical frequencies than vinyl. Some people like the way this sounds.
Vinyl records introduce some distortion and clicks and pops and hisses, and usually have a more colored frequency response than CDs. Some people like the way this sounds.
In conclusion, some people like CDs. Other people prefer vinyl.
Some people like Pepsi. Some people like Coke.
It should be clean and it should not smell oddly. Consider purchasing odor absorbers and open up the windows to air the place out. A thorough vacuuming, including the furniture, also helps with odors. Avoid smelly candles and air sprays. Avoid visible piles of dirty laundry or dirty dishes.
There should be some place to sit and someplace to set down a glass.
There should be plenty of clean drinking glasses, preferably some without beer logos.
A clean, well-stocked bathroom is essential. Good towels, a bath mat, soap in appropriate places, toilet paper and somewhere to hang those towels.
The bedding should not be distracting, i.e. avoid elaborate patterns or scratchy materials like wool. There should be at least two pillows, and there should not be stains on the pillowcases.
I like a visible clock in the bedroom. It can be a little anxious-making to be in a new space with a new guy. I find that a clock helps me feel oriented when I find myself awake at 3am.
Where do you Al Green haters come from? I can't even get my head around it. And then to have the balls to announce your ignorance to the world like its something to be proud of. I don't know weather to pity your lack of taste or feel sorry for your total cluelessness.
I will pray for you both.
I don't particularly love vinyl - it sounds distorted. Yes, it's great for listening to old records since you want it to sound less crisp - but for more modern music, what's the harm in a cd or a cassette? Now using your IPOD or hard drive for music is almost too modern for my taste - I still like the idea of the guy having to put on music, not just click a button on his keyboard or mouse.
Clocks are always good - with my guy before we moved in together, he used his small clock radio as his only resource for time. Now there's a clock in every necessary room - it's logical and less rude than making a guest hunt down the small appliance you have time set on.
I have must haves per room - even going down to furniture.
Living Room -- A clean sofa is a must. If you got it secondhand, fine - if you pulled it in from the dumpster, I'm probably leaving. Somewhere to sit a drink is also great - an additional chair is always nice too. Must have some form of music in this room - even if it does have to come from a computer.
Kitchen -- Simple one - clean dishes, slightly organized, and food. Very appropriate to have a few things your guest likes to make it feel more like home.
Bedroom -- No clothes on the floor, clean bedding, requirement of two pillows for me since I'm accustomed to it, a small clock, and a small radio doesn't hurt.
Bathroom -- Plenty of all the necessary essentials, cleaned up nicely, and a newer shower liner.
ya i prefer digital... but the real difference in 'fidelity' as you all put it comes from A) the quality of the freaking recording hello! and B) the human ear...sorry but digital quality beyond a certain bit rate is just as good as any vinyl because the difference is indistinguishable period.
Also i thought the turntable suggestion was totally a play at looking cool lol!
Requirements: Clean where it counts (both him and the space) and "supplies" (towel, water, snack.) Beyond that, notice what I am wearing and assume I planned it carefully. (If I wore something that buttons all the way down the front, it's because I want to you unbutton each one tantalizingly slowly, with long, deep kisses in between each.) When I catch you looking, tell me that you like what you are looking at -- specifically. "You have a great ass" will do nicely. I'm not there for politesse. Put out two or three things that lead to storytelling about your life (sports trophy, professional journal, travel-related memorabilia) so I can get to know some history.
When I'm at your apartment, I know why I'm there. Push a little. I'll push back if you go too far. The biggest decorating faux pas at a guy's apartment is for the guy to be an accessory to the furnishings.
al green is a cliche like the saarinen table is a cliche. i feel sorry for anyone who can't see the musicality in al green.
Ok… I am a guy responding to this who once upon a time did this very often. Cleanliness is obvious and needs to be a must. I can not stress enough how important it is for your bathroom to not only be clean and smell good, but ALSO be organized. MEN! WOMAN WILL GO THROUGH YOUR THINGS! Yes, it is true. Do not just jam everything into your cabinets. Secondly, even if you have no chance in hell scoring your girl in bed, still hook your bedroom up! People are naturally nosey, some how they will find a way to peak into your bedroom. I am a realtor by trade and know exactly how much smell can influence an atmosphere, so candles and room sprays are a must. If you can handle a kitchen I suggest you cook your date her favorite meal. Switch out some of your light bulbs a color of your choosing (red) or whatever, if done properly, can look classy and thoughtful.
I like how the girl just wants things to be clean and comfy, and the guy's list is all about teh seductions.
@SarahinATX - SO TRUE! I've seen nasty hair all over the corners of the bathroom and the toilet about a thousand times in guys houses - so gross. That is mostly the reason I use a different bathroom in the house I live in with my fiance.. I think most boys have selective blindness when it comes to bathroom hair :)
NO BICYCLES IN THE HOUSE. So disgusting. And marathon/triathlon numbers do not make interesting wall art. Especially when slapped up with tape like a child's finger painting. Black leather couches are not cozy. Please leave them in the '80s with the Patrick Nagel prints.
Ilya, you are soooooooooooooo right. I will ABSOLUTELY BE NOSY!!!!! When I was still a naive little rosy-colored-glasses-wearing innocent, I thought it was simply "fair" for me to NOT be nosy. After a couple of real doozies (honestly, at one point I was considering making fingerprints, a photo ID, credit report, and FBI/CIA/Interpol checks going back 3 generations on both sides a requirement for potential suitors) I learned that 1. PEOPLE LIE and 2. people can hide CRAZY for a loooooooong time.
Now, I'm not sneaky about looking...I always jokingly ask to get the dime tour and will say "What's in there?" and point to closet doors and medicine cabinets and the like. I don't have anything to hide, so why should you? If we're getting to the level where there's going to be touching without contact precautions (hey, I work in a hospital!) I have a right to see any red flags.
And not in a judgemental way...we all have issues...but if it's clear my issues aren't compatible with yours (I am a spastic freak about having clean kitchens and bathrooms, but will let books and magazines breed like bunnies and don't have to have every hat or single pair of shoes put away but my closets and drawers have to be organized) then that's good to know.
Plus, again, I want to see any personal red flags. Like, a shrine to your mother. In your bedroom closet. Or the "just for fun" knives and swords and "dead grenades" you get from Soldier of Fortune monthly that could easily arm a small island under attack. Or the Valtrex behind your Nyquil. Or the pictures of your wife and children and their lovely crayon and macaroni artwork all over your closed-door office. Etc, etc.
Just a few examples that, had seen early on, could give the "Danger Will Robinson, DANGER!!!!" signal to abort mission.
So, I reserve the right openly investigate ;)
"if you think women don't notice your bedding, then you probably wear Crocs." - TOOOO funny. Very true too. I AGREE !
Please make sure that your nice clean bathroom has a door that closes completely and has a working lock too. Also please make sure it contains an air freshener spray, that i can find easily. Preferably a natural one, those with citrus or lavender essence are very nice.
I also agree with SherryBinNH. [That is not to say that I am ok with not seeing the floor because of all your stuff... no dirty clothes visible (boxers on the floor? gross!), and a clean bathroom is a must.]
HOWEVER, if I am interested in being in a real relationship with a guy, I want him to be himself around me. I want to be part of his life - not an awkward house guest. If he's a slob, I want to know that from the start. If we're intimate enough for me to be staying over, we're intimate enough for me to know how he lives. Plus, I know I'm guilty of having a mess (not dirty!) place once and a while.
if your bed is a "taco", get a new one.
First time I met my guy, his kitchen literally had dusty counters and a pile of pizza boxes as high as me (I'm 5 foot nuthin), which he was weirdly proud of..HOWEVER, there were no dirty dishes, and the bathroom was sparkling clean, as was his living room. His video/dvd collection was/is AMAZING. To me, good taste in music/movies is equally paramount to kitchen/bathroom cleanliness (5 years next month attests to that!).
When I visit anyone, lover or friend, living/bedroom messiness ok. . as long as there are clean kitchen/bathrooms, clean sheets and towels!
We lived in my husband's apartment when we just got married. First thing I asked was, "Where did all your toys go?". Haha, he wasn't as bad as the guy from "40 Year Old Virgin", but almost. A friend told him you cannot let your wife live like this.
I agree with everything on this list but would prefer some Paulinho Moska or Bajo Fondo instead of Al Green. Please remember we are not all bobo hipsters.
Great list from the male perspective.


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|0. PostgreSQL table comparator - pgComparator is a tool to compare possibly very big tables in different locations and report differences, with a network and time-efficient approach.
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|1. OpenRPT report writer and renderer - Graphical SQL report writer, designer and rendering engine, optimized for PostgreSQL. GPL/commercial dual license. Please use the SourceForge page until server performance at pgFoundry improves:
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|2. Round-Robin SQL - Round-Robin SQL is a SQL implementation of a round robin database.
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- peter yeseab
- London Uk
- United Kingdom
This conversation is closed.
Can we ever achieve World Peace?
Can we ever achieve world peace? and how would we approach it? It seems that the idea of world peace moves further and further away as war continues to progress across the world and oil companies seeming to govern our world. If there was a chance in which we could live harmoniously, could it be done in a country governed by the fundamental laws of capitalism? How would we combat different faiths and could science hold the potential for world peace?
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Oct 11 2013: Hi Peter,
I go along with the bible. Bloodshed & mayhem will continue until most of the world line up against Israel. This will result in the long awaited Battle of Armageddon, which will be rudely interrupted by the Second Coming of Christ. He will impose world peace for a thousand years.
Oct 12 2013: Jesus gave us two commands; 1) Love God, & 2) Love one another. In my daily life I seek to do both. The effect of this should be to cultivate peace. However, try as I might, I still have tendencies to anger, selfishness, lust, etc. I recognise however that ,by promoting Jesus & his instruction, the overall effect should be to spread peace.
The sorry truth is, however, that the very mention of Jesus get's the hackles up on the majority of people. So, yes, we should promote peace with all vigour, but we have to realise most people don't want it on these terms. Aside from that, the bible is quite clear regarding how history will end.
Oct 12 2013: Peter L,
You write..."Bloodshed & mayhem will continue until most of the world line up against Israel".
Then you say that we have two commands...1) Love God, & 2) Love one another
Is the whole world lining up against Israel a way to love them? Seems like a contradiction.
Peter Y,
Yes, I think/feel we can achieve world peace when we GENUINELY respect and love one another.
Oct 12 2013: I know of many long term experiments and effectiveness studies, yet after 2013 years without any significant positive result and progress, this case can definitely be closed.
What 'get's the hackles up on the majority of people' isn't Jesus, its his promotion. 2013 years is to long a time for the always same commercial.
Oct 11 2013: Hello Peter (Law),
How can an "imposed peace", be real peace?
Isn't that what dictator Tito did in the former Yugoslavia (impose peace), which lasted until after his departure, after which the country then descended into the horrible 1990s bloodshed of the latent suppressed unresolved psychological issues of Serbs vs Croats vs Bosnians vs Macedonians vs Herzegovinians vs Montenegrians as well as the two smaller ethnic groups in Kosovo and Vijvidina plus the Albanians who happened to be the wrong side of the border??
As I vaguely recall from the Bible, amongst many things Jesus suggested 'making enemies friends' - which can be taken at 3 levels (as can all holy texts) (i) at face value on the pure material level, (ii) in terms of consciousness and awareness, and (iii) mystically.
In which case the onus on us humans (being created of "God-stuff" in like image), is to work towards resolving our own inner conflicts whilst at the same time sponsoring a pilgrimage of trust on earth whereby we endeavour to see 'the Christ' in others, no matter what the material form appears to be.
To take a hands-off approach and blandly accept "bloodshed and mayhem" as inevitable until 'Jesus returns to sort it all out and impose peace' seems, to me, a cop-out unworthy of attempts at christian living.
Oct 12 2013: Hi Joshua,
Cool name by the way, same as Jesus.
See my reply to Peter above.
Dictatorship by man, & dictatorship by God, are entirely different.
We are talking of a being who created the universe; you just don't get any more powerful than that. He came to earth as a human to be totally abused by mankind, because it was the only way to extricate us from the aweful consequences of our own stupidity. If He did not love us, why would He bring such grief upon Himself?
I'll be honest. I have a pretty good life; but if someone offered me eternal life in this place, I would pass. However, to be cared for by a God who loves me enough to die for me, well that's a totally different story. That kind of dictatorship, I can handle.
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Changes in Latitude...Changes in Attitude by HB2K8 - about 6 years ago
"The Houseboat Crew (HB2K8) at Norris Lake, TN. Whether it is Lake Cumberland, Dale Hollow, or Norris Lake this crew always makes the annual trip. This is the 11th year. This was our first year using CustomInk for our shirts and they were great to work with. We got exactly what we wanted and quickly. The online design tools were easy to use and gave us awesome ideas. Free shipping was an awesome bonus!"


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Network: Lifetime
Genre: Movie/Miniseries
Director: Kenny Leon
Synopsis: A Lifetime movie chronicling the lives and friendship of six women in Louisiana through their triumphs and tragedies.
The British are coming! Eddie Redmayne & Benedict Cumberbatch up, Steve Carell down in Oscar race
News Nuggets: Who are the most liked TV actresses working today?
Oscars News: Jennifer Lawrence will not three-peat at Oscars with delay of 'Serena'
Will smash hit 'Partners' bring Barbra Streisand back to top Grammys race?
Editors almost unanimous that Julianne Moore will win Best Actress Oscar
'America's Got Talent' finale: Jennifer Hudson reprises Oscar-winning 'Dreamgirls' song
Patricia Arquette goes supporting at Oscars for 'Boyhood' (Exclusive)
'71' at NYFF: 'Unbroken' star Jack O'Connell lays groundwork for Oscars
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Will Starz's 'The Missing' be found by Emmys as Best Miniseries in 2015?
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Cats rock Cal Lutheran as offense rolls
Sep 21, 2013
By Robert Husseman
Of the News-Register
Linfield recorded 654 yards of total offense as the Wildcats defeated Cal Lutheran, 52-14, on Saturday afternoon at Maxwell Field.
Senior quarterback Josh Yoder threw for three touchdown passes and ran for another score. Linfield (2-0 overall) outscored the Kingsmen (0-2) 24-0 in the second and third quarters.
Former McMinnville running back Spencer Payne carried the ball five times for 29 yards, including a 14-yard touchdown in the fourth quarter, in his first game as a Wildcat.
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The Glenbrook Lady Apaches lost a district game to Cenla Academy Friday night, 49-32.
"Despite the loss the girls really played well," Lady Apache head coach Rendi Dillard. "We were down by 12 at half time and came out in the second half on fire defensively. We forced them to turn the ball over on their first five possesions after the half."
The Lady Apaches got to within one point, but could not hold onto the momentum.
"Overall I am really proud of the girls and how hard they played," Dillard said. "Lauren Sims had a great defensive game. She really stepped up and made some great stops. She led tus with 16 points."
Carsin Spurlock added 13 points and Shelby Nicholas had three.
North Webster 84, Calvary 75
The North Webster Knights improved to 5-2 in District 1-2A with a 84-75 win over Calavray Baptist Friday night.
North Webster jumped out to a 22-9 first quarter lead, and then led 41-29 at the half. The Knights out-scored the Cavaliers, 22-14, in the third quarter, and then withstood a 32-21 fourth quarter by Calvary to hang on to the win.
Montavious Smith had another monster game with 31 points and Dontavious Smith had 14. Lyntravious Gipson added 11 points and Devin White scored 12.
The Knights improved to 16-5 overall.


text:
Advertisement: Preregister now for the Medicine 2.0 Congress
TME16/459: S.I.TE. Project: Spinal injury and Telemedicine
S Boccaccio; P Marano; R Saracco; N Dal Degan
Istituto Ortopedico Villa Salus Strada Provinciale Brucoli Augusta, Augusta, Italy
ABSTRACTIntroduction: A meeting held in Augusta, in November '98, proposed the launch of a Telemedicine application in order to improve spinal trauma rehabilitation protocols. This medical area, as many others, is still populated by diverse ideas and doubts on the possible protocol of intervention: a common protocol tying together surgical, rehabilitation, orthopaedic and neurological medicine can lead to significant results.
Methods: Scope of this project, is to realise a network (virtual-line) using Internet, connecting Italian and German spinal centres interested on this protocol, and to allow for the exchange of data, clinical reports, images, with different levels of interaction:
- Store and forward
- E. mail;
- Attached documents;
- News group
- E. mail;
- Real time
- Videoconferencing system and electronic board.
- Videoconferencing system and electronic board.
Results: The specification phase is now complete and at present the work is progressing towards the realisation phase.
Discussion: This application is very interesting from different points of view:
- It is a new Telemedicine application.
- It uses Internet, hence transportation cost are marginal and its reliance on de facto standard browser eases further applications development and portability.
- It fosters a new approach to co-operative research in medicine.
(J Med Internet Res 1999;1(suppl1):e123)
Internet; Spinal Cord Injury; Telemedicine
Edited by G. Eysenbach;
This is a non-peer-reviewed article.
published 19.09.99
Please cite as:
Boccaccio S, Marano P, Saracco R, Dal Degan N
TME16/459: S.I.TE. Project: Spinal injury and Telemedicine
J Med Internet Res 1999;1(suppl1):e123
URL: http://www.jmir.org/1999/suppl1/e123/
doi: 10.2196/jmir.1.suppl1.e123
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Le Doulos (1962) December 1, 2010Posted by Cal in : Film Noir, Non-Asian, 1960s films , 2 comments
Director: Jean-Pierre Melville Starring: Serge Reggiani; Jean-Paul Belmondo; Monique Hennessy Territory: France
Freshly released from prison, Maurice (Serge Reggiani) immediately commits murder and plans a robbery – talk about not letting the grass grow beneath your feet! When he tells his girlfriend Thérese (Monique Hennessy) about a new job, he trusts acquaintance Silien (Jean-Paul Belmondo) although he hears rumours that he is a police informer. When the robbery goes wrong – and the scene gets overrun with cops – Maurice bitterly blames Silien for blabbing to the authorities. But the truth may be more complicated…
With its ever-weaving storyline and deliberately misleading narrative, Le Doulos (which means "hat" but is also a slang term for a police informer) is another film noir masterpiece from Jean-Pierre Melville that often reminds me of the better works of Hong Kong auteur Johnny To. Like To's latter-day noirs, the plot seems to make little or no sense at first – only revealing what it's all about in its own sweet time when it's good and ready. Which means plenty of patience is required, but ultimately the rewards are greater.
The obvious Melville devices are in place – trenchcoats, hats (lots of hats – it seems everyone is wearing a hat or at least standing next to someone who is) and a laconic approach to dialogue. The lighting is also used dramatically, especially in the dingy house occupied by the ill-fated Gilbert at the start of the movie. Film historian Ginette Vincendeau remarks about Melville's films being about "the uphill struggle to failure" and this statement succinctly hits the nail on the head.
Le Doulos's habit of keeping the viewer in the dark may be frustrating, but it also makes you want to go back and watch the film again straight away – always the mark of a great film. Me, I'd love to watch it again right now, but more Melville films are waiting…
The Bad Sleep Well (1960) October 13, 2010Posted by Cal in : Thriller, Film Noir, 1960s films , add a comment
Director: Akira Kurosawa Starring: Toshiro Mifune; Kamatari Fujiwara; Masayuki Mori; Takashi Shimura Territory: Japan
Loosely based on Shakespeare's Hamlet, The Bad Sleep Well is the least well-known of Kurosawa's adaptations of the Bard's work. Instead of placing the story in feudal Japan, Kurosawa chooses a contemporary setting in this gritty, downbeat film noir thriller.
Toshiro Mifune is Nishi, a man marrying into a major company beset with controversy surrounding the suicide of a former employee. Suspected of marrying simply to gain power, Nishi faces suspicion and hostility as the secretary for Vice President Iwabuchi (his sozzled new brother-in-law declares at the wedding ceremony "make her unhappy and I'll kill you", in what must be one of the oddest wedding speeches on celluloid). However, it turns out his motives for marrying into the family are even more sinister than power and influence as he struggles to find out the truth behind his new employers' dark secrets.
After criticising the casting of Mifune for High and Low, I have to eat humble pie and say he was absolutely perfect in this film noir masterpiece. It really is a tragedy that The Bad Sleep Well is not among the absolutely highest regarded of Akira Kurosawa's films – it is simply a riveting, thrill-packed ride of twists, turns and fantastically drawn characters. What's more, you would have to go some way to finding a film so fantastically shot as this one. Kurosawa's keen eye for dramatic locations is shown again and again in this film, whether in volcanic wastelands or war-torn bombed-out factories that can double up as prison cells.
Films about corporate espionage can be convoluted and dull, and in the opening scenes of the film things can seem rather complex with lots of unfamiliar names thrown at the viewer. But from that scene, The Bad Sleep Well settles down into a clear film with a narrative that is easy to follow. It may be long, and not a little grim, but the story moves like a bullet and is never dull.
This is another of Kurosawa's contemporary-set films that really must be seen by a wider audience too hung up on his samurai movies. The Bad Sleeps Well is one of the best thrillers I've seen in a long time. In fact, I can't understand why Hollywood hasn't remade it yet. Give it time…
High and Low (1963) October 7, 2010Posted by Cal in : Film Noir, 1960s films , 1 comment so far
Director: Akira Kurosawa Starring: Tatsuya Nakadai; Kenjiro Ishiyama; Toshiro Mifune Territory: Japan
A wealthy shoe magnate is extorted when his son's friend is mistakenly kidnapped. When every decision he can make will end in financial disaster for him, his hopes lay solely at the feet of the police force, who are pulling out all the stops to bring the guilty parties to justice.
Heaven and Hell is an odd film. For a start, it doesn't feel much like an Akira Kurosawa film, despite the presence of both Mifune and, in a relatively minor role, Takashi Shimura. Secondly, it is essentially split into two parts: the first hour is the kidnapping drama and following that, the police force's attempts at capturing the criminal. With the focus shifting so abruptly and forcefully, it is sometimes hard to care as much as you should.
A case in point is Mifune's character Gondo, who is, let's not beat about the bush, quite difficult to like. However, by the end of his story arc, I was firmly behind him as he had become much more human. What's more, it seems I wasn't the only one who thought so: at the point where Gondo essentially leaves the story, one policeman turns to another and says "I never liked him at first". I'm also not 100% sure Mifune was the right man for the job - it sounds awfully strange to hear him talking passionately about the quality of women's shoes. Nevertheless, the shot of him mowing his lawn with grim determination is quite a sight. It's therefore hard to say who the "star" of High and Low is, but I'd say Inspector Tokura (Tatsuya Nakadai) deserves the top billing (although Kenjiro Ishiyama tends to steal the scenes he's in).
That's not to say High and Low is a bad film: far from it. The first hour, which pretty much takes place in one room, is downright Hitchcockian in flavour, and the last half hour or so is genuinely tense. The film's use of music as counterpoint to the on screen action is the most pronounced I've seen in a long time: the tinkling muzak rendition of "It's Now or Never" coming over a cheap radio at one critical moment should have you gripping your seat.
One thing intrigued me is the use of colour in an otherwise black and white film. At one point, we see "pink smoke" in a black and white film – something I don't recall seeing before. But seeing something you've never seen before is what Kurosawa was all about in this, his most productive and inspired period.
The Tale of Zatoichi (1962) September 21, 2010Posted by Cal in : Action, 1960s films, Jidaigeki , 5 comments
Director: Kenji Misume Starring: Shintaro Katsu; Shigeru Amachi; Ryuzo Shimada Territory: Japan
Nineteen years into my love affair with East Asian films and I've just got around to Zatoichi, one of the most famous characters in the swordsman-with-something-wrong-with-them subgenre of martial arts thriller.
The Tale of Zatoichi is the first of many films featuring Ichi (to give him his proper name – "Zato" is a kind of title) as the blind masseuse who is also a dab hand with a blade. Employed as a heavy by a yakuza gang on the brink of war with a rival gang, Ichi (Shintaro Katsu) is drawn to his opposite number Hirate (Shigeru Amachi), a fellow swordsman living by a similar code of honour but who is working for the gang Ichi's been hired to wipe out.
The surprise to me is how little action occurs during the vast majority of the film. Rather, The Tale of Zatoichi is a dramatic character study of two honourable men who are doomed to fight to the death on the whim of intellectual inferiors whether they want to or not.
The relationship between Ichi and the ailing Hirate (who is plagued by consumption) is an unusual one. To my mind, there definitely seems to be a strong sexual tension there, as seen in their curiously stilted and awkward dialogue and their mutual admiration, although Ichi trotting out the eternal pickup line "come here often?" when the pair first meet on a riverbank is probably unintentional. I'm not normally sensitive to this (for instance, as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing in least bit gay about the films of Chang Cheh*) but I just could not overlook the homoerotic overtones of this film and can only conclude that the pair are hopelessly in love with each other. Of course, this only makes the fact that they have to fight to the death even more tragic – Edo-period man-love must have been pretty hard to come by.
Anyway, sexual issues aside, The Tale of Zatoichi is one of those classic action movies that I'm getting increasingly fond of as I grow older. It's not too quickly paced to allow an old-timer to get confused, looks all nice in classic black and white, and is a must for anyone who gets teary-eyed at tales of honour and sacrifice. Yep, that's me all over.
*Except for perhaps this one.
Sanjuro (1962) May 7, 2010Posted by Cal in : Blogroll, Action, 1960s films, Jidaigeki , 6 comments
Director: Akira Kurosawa Starring: Toshirô Mifune; Tatsuya Nakadai Territory: Japan
A corrupt Superintendent holds a decent town Chamberlain captive, while his nephew and eight friends plot to free him. They are aided, whether they like it or not, by ronin Sajûrô (Mifune), who quickly proves himself indispensable to the group.
I have to admit a slight disappointment with this workmanlike sequel to the superb Yojimbo. Mind you, coming straight off Red Beard, and with a general feeling that everything Kurosawa touched in his monochrome period turned to gold, I perhaps had unrealistic expectations.
It's certainly lively enough, and I would recommend anyone new to this film to pay very close attention to the opening dialogue between the eight young men as it provides vital information. I missed the significance of this dialogue and found myself completely lost and having to go back and watch it again. But that's my own fault…
The film has more of an emphasis on action and has an undeniably lighter feel than its predecessor. The character of Sajûrô is as unstoppable as he was in Yojimbo, and watching Mifune cut a swath through his enemies is as satisfying as ever. And when he goes undercover to find more information on the captives, the drama does increase significantly. Also, it's interesting that the humour in Kurosawa's films (when present) seems to have aged pretty well, as there are a couple of comic touches (particularly a scene where our heroes are forced to celebrate a victory in silence) that are still funny. However, I missed the weight and tension of Yojimbo, and while no Kurosawa film can be said to have been hastily put together, I couldn't shake the feeling that he was going through the motions a lot with this film, which by all accounts he wasn't.
I do feel like Sanjuro will be a film I will appreciate better with time and repeated viewings, and despite my disappointment, I still actively enjoyed a lot of it. Which does reinforce my unrealistic expectations theory.
Red Beard (1965) April 2, 2010Posted by Cal in : Drama, 1960s films, Jidaigeki , 2 comments
Director: Akira Kurosawa Starring: Toshirô Mifune; Yûzô Kayama; Terumi Niki; Tsutomu Yamazaki Territory: Japan
A young, newly qualified doctor grudgingly takes a job at a clinic for the poor. But the young Yasumoto (Yûzô Kayama) is arrogant and ambitious, and considers himself to be above his calling. However, under the guidance of the clinic's head physician, Kyojô Niide (Toshirô Mifune), the young doctor begins to learn compassion and humility.
Anyone doubting Kurosawa's genius behind the camera only has to watch the first half of this epic tale of two doctors and their various patients. The director's visual style is not hampered one bit by static location (besides, one sub-story told through a series of flashbacks allows him free reign to show his stuff on a larger scale) and one shot had me scratching my head wondering how he'd done it (I'm talking about the "well shot", and I believe the answer, if you are interested, is here).
In his final role for Kurosawa, Mifune gives a fantastic performance as the humble, compassionate and patient doctor who mentors the new recruit in his spartan clinic. When Yasumoto's bad behaviour, fuelled by his desire to be a Shogunate doctor, becomes apparent at an evening meal, Niide (nicknamed Red Beard by fellow doctors) keeps calm and says: "Even bad food tastes good if chewed well. Same with work." I have yet to see all of the Kurosawa/Mifune collaborations, but I have to say that this is the strongest performance I've seen from the actor. I've no idea if the scene is taken from the book by Shugoro Yamamoto, or whether it was an inclusion by Kurosawa, but Mifune also gets to show off his ability at brawling when he beats up (and then bandages up) an angry mob. Mifune hardly breaks a sweat while injuring his foes, in a scene reminiscent of an unarmed Yojimbo.
Any film lasting nearly three hours (slightly longer including the intermission) needs a certain spark to compel the viewer to watch, and Red Beard indeed flies by. However, in the final third, the film's episodic nature finally becomes apparent and for me, this stops the movie from becoming one of the greatest films I've ever watched. But don't let that put you off – Red Beard is still one hell of a great film, and further proof that Kurosawa and Mifune were one of the greatest director/actor combinations of all time.
Yojimbo (1961) June 18, 2009Posted by Cal in : 1960s films, Jidaigeki , 3 comments
Director: Akira Kurosawa Main cast: Toshirô Mifune; Tatsuya Nakadai; Yoko Tsukasa; Isuzu Yamada Territory: Japan
A Ronin calling himself Kuwabatake Sanjuro (Toshirô Mifune) wanders randomly into a town split into two warring factions. The rival gangs are vying for supremacy and causing much work for the local coffin maker. Sanjuro decides to play the gangs off each other, who are both anxious to employ the samurai to get the upper hand over the other. His plan to eliminate the scum hits a snag when the balance of power is shifted with the arrival of the brother of one of the gang leaders wielding a pistol.
I have to admit that the merits of this Kurosawa film were sometimes lost on me as I struggled to come to terms with how completely Leone had plundered Yojimbo for his A Fistful of Dollars without so much of a nod to the source material. Yes, I was aware of the legal wranglings over Leone's film, but I was unprepared for how closely it follows Yojimbo – even as far as shot composition (just compare the screenshots on this very blog!).
The opening is brilliant – Sanjuro wanders into town and sees a dog carrying a human hand in its mouth. This is obviously not your typical small friendly town full of community spirit where everyone helps each other. It's actually a vile little town, as Sanjuro soon finds out. Seibei, the undisputed boss, has a new challenger for power in the form of his former right hand man Ushi-Tora. Both have their followers, and they have essentially ripped the town in half with their power struggle. Each side's avarice and duplicity gets the better of them when acquiring Sanjuro's services. Although his mind is already made up before meeting the inhabitants of the town, the gangs prove beyond doubt they are without any redeeming features. Seibei even plots to kill Sanjuro in his sleep after defeating Ushi-Tora and his followers.
Yojimbo is also full of sardonic humour, as demonstrated when the two gangs call a truce when an official visits town. Or when Sanjuro first unleashes his skills and kills two thugs and seriously wounds another – he walks back to the Cooper and simply says: "two coffins…maybe three". In fact, I've been wracking my brain thinking if this very line was uttered in A Fistful of Dollars. I don't think it was, but it certainly sounds like something Eastwood would have said. Another funny scene is when Sanjuro gets the two gangs to face off with each other, and then quits the fight to watch their pathetic mid-day squabble from the bell tower, which is reminiscent of the 'cowardly' depiction of the samurai fight from Rashomon.
As usual, there's an air of Kurosawa being ahead of his time. There's a fantastic special effects shot where Sanjuro throws a knife into a leaf blowing around a room. This effect blew me away, and although it turns out to have been achieved in the most mundane and obvious way, it still seems to have been shot in a way that still seems realistic today.
Yojimbo is a great film, but I sincerely wished I'd seen it before A Fistful of Dollars. That way, its impact on me would have been greater. Out of the two, I think Kurosawa's style, humour and the use of black and white film gives this film a grittier edge than Leone's film. Mifune seems born to be Kurosawa's cinematic alter ego and gives a solid performance here. What's more, he handles the katana with speed and convincing confidence. He certainly had me convinced he was a samurai master, anyway.
For once, I thought the BFI DVD was quite good – although the image quality could have been better. But the subtitles are removable and an appropriate size, which was an immense relief. It's probably not a patch on the Criterion edition, though. One for the wish list, perhaps…
Le Samouraï (1967) August 2, 2008Posted by Cal in : Thriller, Non-Asian, 1960s films , 5 comments
Director: Jean-Pierre Melville Main Cast: Alain Delon; François Périer; Nathalie Delon; Cathy Rosier Territory: France/Italy
Contract killer Jef Costello (Alain Delon) carries out a hit on a nightclub owner during opening hours, and is spotted upon exiting the crime scene by the house pianist Valérie (Cathy Rosier). However, when rounded up for a police line-up by the Superintendent (François Périer), Valérie denies that she's ever seen Costello. Reluctantly, the police release him, keeping him under surveillance until they can get proof. Pursued by both the police and his employers behind the hit on the nightclub owner, Costello is also curious as to why the pianist didn't give him away…
When you consider that this is apparently Johnnie To's favourite film and John Woo practically gushes throughout the booklet of the Criterion DVD release, you'd have thought I'd at least have heard of this film. But it wasn't until a fellow Hong Kong film fan mentioned him in this very blog that I became aware of the existence of Melville and Le Samouraï. Certain things are beginning to click now though, like why Chow Yun-Fat was always referred to as the Alain Delon of Asian cinema. Well, Chow Yun-Fat loses out on the style stakes but it's not really his fault – the 60's were a much more stylish era than the 80's and I'm looking to get me a fedora and trenchcoat in the vain hope of pulling off a Delon.
Despite Jef Costello's unquestionable cool, his lifestyle is not too enviable. He lives in a hovel of an apartment with a canary as his only companion (and even here, you get the impression he only keeps the pet because it serves a practical purpose). There are no nick-knacks or diversions in his spartan flat, and the only thing that comes close to decoration is a collection of empty mineral water bottles on top of his wardrobe. His only real contact in the human world is his "alibi" Jane Lagrange (Delon's then-wife Nathalie), but he treats her so casually and indifferently you can't tell if they are friends, lovers or just working together as a means to an ends.
The film has style outside its main star, though, and the film has a chic that was only achievable for a short space of time in the mid-to-late sixties. The colours used are mainly just varying shades of grey, often making you think Melville might as well have shot the film in black and white. It is a very minimalist film, and the lack of dialogue in many scenes (it's almost ten minutes before the first line of dialogue is delivered) adds to the distinctive style. The exterior shots of the city of Paris are also excellent. This is the only film I've seen set in Paris where the Eiffel Tower is not even in a single shot – probably because this is a French film and it's only us foreigners who need those establishing shots to show we're in the City of Light and not, say, Istanbul.
It's not all style and no substance, though. The plot is compelling enough, although the pace is a trifle more pedestrian than is fashionable today with a surprisingly lengthy section where suspects are gathered at the police station for an identity parade. He wonders why the pianist Valérie didn't shop him straight to the cops and suspects she's up to no good. That doesn't stop him obviously developing feeling for her though, even if she's working for the organisation behind the hit on the nightclub owner. Like Jef's flat, there's little in the film that is superfluous, and the urge to find out what's going to happen is strong.
At the end of the day, it's the character of Jef Costello that intrigues most. His solitude, and his abstinence from the most basic human comforts make us want to know more about him. That he's a killer (and a damn fine one) adds to his mystery. Where did he learn his skills, for instance, and what made him become the way he is? When he refuses his ticket when checking in his hat, we suspect we're never going to find out. But although we have few answers to our questions, the ride was worthwhile.
Interpol 009 (1967) May 11, 2008Posted by Cal in : Action, 1960s films , add a comment
Director: Yeung Shu-Hei Cast: Tang Ching; Lee Kwan; Margaret Tu Chuan Territory: Hong Kong Production Company: Shaw Brothers
There's an international money counterfeiting gang in town, and Interpol agent 009, Chen Tianhong (Tang Ching) is sent to investigate.
Like Lo Wei's Golden Buddha from 1966, Interpol 009 attempts to bring a Chinese James Bond to the screen, although the two films are otherwise unrelated.
Agent 009 has much in common with his more famous counterpart – he's a suave womaniser, heavy drinker (although he prefers brandy to a vodka martini) and is deadly with any form of weapon you can to give him. He's also got an arsenal of gadgets to get him out of scrapes, such as a watch with several uses (including a listening device), a lighter that can turn into a smoke bomb and chewing gum that can open locked doors. However, that's pretty much where the similarities end, as Chen Tianhong has the charisma of a housebrick. Perhaps sensing this, he is given a sidekick in the shape of Huang Mao (Lee Kwan – best known for his appearance as Ah Kun in Bruce Lee's The Big Boss) who runs around Hong Kong in a Beatle suit and provides comic relief.
Chen Tianhong (who proclaims, and I swear to God this is true: "Danger? That's my middle name") woos the ladies despite some stinky chat up lines (he even comes out with "do you come here often?" to one lady). This is perhaps the sauciest Chinese film from the 60's I've seen as Agent 009 canoodles with just about every lady he comes into contact with and there's even a bare bottom at one point. This is a far cry from the previous year's Golden Buddha, which is extremely coy in comparison.
The story concerns a money counterfeiting gang headed by a beautiful mysterious lady (the tragic Margaret Tu Chuan, who would commit suicide before the decade came to an end at the age of 27) and it's here that another problem becomes apparent – the villains are all a bit pedestrian and the locations are very domestic, with the action all taking place in Hong Kong. Part of the appeal of the Bond movies is the exotic locations and the overblown villains, and this film is a letdown on both points.
There is some enjoyment to be had from the film, despite its drawbacks. However, I'm not sure all the fun is intentional. There's a scene where the bad guys are beating up some guy, who manages to get away in an unguarded car. He gets away and then drives his car straight off the nearest quay and into the water. One of the perusing villains just mutters "silly man" and shakes his head – which I found hilariously funny. The final reel mercifully turns up the action a couple of notches, and another Bond device comes into play – the age-old ploy of the bad guys tying up the hero (with sidekick in this case), planning a grisly fate for them and then scooting off and assuming the hero gets splattered across a large area. In this case, the villains leave 009 to stew until the bomb they've planted goes off and turns Chen Tianhong into a disgusting red mess.
So how long do the villains give Chen Tianhong to ponder his fate while they make a speedy getaway? Two minutes? Five minutes? Surely no more than ten minutes? Actually, they give him two hours. In that time, Bond would have got out, killed an army of henchmen, downed a couple of vodka martinis, shagged the villainess, killed her and quipped about it to his leading lady while making a witty quip over the radio to an exasperated M. Chen Tianhong barely gets out with his skin intact, and this sums up the film in a nutshell.
Interpol 009 is just too dull most of the time to be enjoyable and suffers from some illogical plot problems to boot. It's not a complete write-off, and the 60's fashions and sensibilities are always fun to watch, but this is not even on par with the more cringeworthy Roger Moore-era Bonds.
Once Upon a Time in the West (1968) August 27, 2007Posted by Cal in : Action, Non-Asian, 1960s films , 5 comments
Director: Sergio Leone Cast: Claudia Cardinale, Charles Bronson, Henry Fonda, Jason Robards Territory: Italy
Original title: C'era una volta il West
Newlywed Jill (Cardinale) arrives in the town of Flagstone to find that her husband and his children from a previous marriage have been slain. The executions were carried out by Frank (Fonda), who is working for Morton (Gabriele Ferzetti), a rail baron crippled by a bone disease who is largely confined to his specially adapted train carriage. Frank plants evidence to implicate the bandit Cheyenne (Robards) and his gang, but upon befriending him, Jill finds he is not the man responsible. Cheyenne joins up with a harmonica-playing stranger (Bronson) to find out the truth. Harmonica, though, has his own agenda.
Upon watching this for the first time a few years ago, I was quite disappointed with certain aspects of this film. In retrospect, much of my criticism was simply down to the fact that I had watched The Good, the Bad and the Ugly the previous week and I couldn't help comparing the two films all the way down the line. Now, I can judge the film on its own merits a lot more now, and Once Upon a Time in the West certainly does have a lot going for it.
It's crystal clear right from the start that this is a big production. Paramount had given Leone a generous budget to work with and it shows (it has been stated that the Flagstone set alone cost more than A Fistful of Dollars). The cast list is even more impressive than before (with Henry Fonda gleefully playing against type), and the production moved to the United States to shoot some genuine western scenery. The direction from Leone is also excellent throughout, with more of his trademark wide shots mixed with extreme close-ups. In fact, Once Upon a Time in the West is probably his best looking western, even without the standout crane shot introducing the town of Flagstone.
One of the few things that doesn't work so well as far as I'm concerned is the decision to make one of the leading characters female. Don't get me wrong, Claudia Cardinale is very capable (and utterly, utterly beautiful) but I don't think Leone really knew what to do with female characters; a little like Chang Cheh (I've got to make some kind of reference to the genre or seriously consider renaming this blog Heroes of the West!) in his films – who are usually either virtuous family members, untouchable goddesses or whores. The character of Jill McBain is a bit of a mixture of those. It seems to me an arbitrary decision to make a female lead, simply to do something different from the Dollars films. The result is her character seems the least well drawn of them all, although being a non-combatant it is sometimes refreshing to see things from her perspective and not from a gun-toting cowboy for once.
With the male leads we are on much more familiar ground. "Harmonica" is cut from the same cloth as the Man with No Name (it is rumoured the part was originally offered to Eastwood, who refused in order to make his name in Hollywood), a mysterious, laconic stranger who plays a haunting dirge on his mouth organ whenever he appears. His presence and purpose is unexplained throughout the film, but hinted at by his reference to men Frank has killed in the past. Leone films tend to give rise to all kinds of theories, but the strangest one I've heard concerns Harmonica. Some believe he was killed in the shootout that occurs at the start of the film, and spends the rest of the film as some kind of avenging spirit. It's a nice thought but I'm pretty sure it's not what Leone was thinking and doesn't seem wholly feasible; but judge for yourself.
Ironically, seeing as how he had such a tough time on a Leone film, it was Eli Wallach who persuaded Henry Fonda to appear in this film. Leone had been trying for years to obtain him, but the quality of the scripts (or rather, the translations of the scripts) always put him off. Fonda does indeed have some presence as the ruthless, self-centred Frank, and from testimony obviously enjoyed playing the bad guy for once! His scene where Morton confronts him on the hillside, away from his specially adapted carriage, has particular bite when Fonda spits at him: "when you're not on that train, you look like a turtle out of its shell".
Robards rounds off the main cast with the mainly good-natured bandit Cheyenne, who has some nice chemistry with Bronson's character.
Ennio Morricone provides the soundtrack once again, but this time his contribution is more conventional. All of the main characters have their own theme (one of which is actually a plot point in itself), and there's also a surprisingly bouncy, melancholic tune that serves as the film's main theme. There seems to be different motifs or cinematic themes throughout the film (such as water), but one seems to be rhythm; from the persistence of the windmill at the start to the rhythmic click-clack of the railroad. This is also captured in Morricone's main theme.
While I still think Once Upon a Time in the West could have been paced a little better, I'm definitely coming to appreciate it a little more now. In particular, I'm growing fond of the screenplay, which includes plenty of sharp and snappy dialogue. It seems the film is a grower – it under performed at the box-office and but obtained its classic status in later years. Which leaves me hopeful of enjoying this one even more in future.


text:
A notice went out to students and parents on Tuesday reminding them that end-of-semester break, scheduled for Jan. 27-28, could be pushed back for weather delays.
High school students are scheduled to take four days worth of exams between Jan. 21-24. If weather conditions delay or cancel schools for one of those days, schedules will change to accommodate it.
High school exams will be administered according to the following schedule:
- Tuesday, Jan. 21: A Day, periods 1 and 2
- Wednesday, Jan. 22: B Day, periods 1 and 2
- Thursday, Jan. 23: A Day, periods 3 and 4
- Friday, Jan. 24: B Day, periods 3 and 4
And if schools open up to two hours late, exams will continue as scheduled, and so will the school day. Classes will not end late as a result of a weather delay, according to the release.