text:
Posted by Charlie, under SNAPSHOTS
There has been a lot of controversy around breastfeeding lately.
Retail stores have told people they couldn't do it within their walls. Formula companies implied that formula was a better route. It's like breastfeeding is being silently marketed as obscene or something.
With all the swirling hatred on the topic, I thought my son and I should share our thoughts…
For those who have trouble producing milk or choose not to breastfeed, this isn't directed at you. This is for the idiots who have a "problem" with breastfeeding and get all bent out of shape about something that women have been doing for eons.
I thought this photo of my wife and son would be most appropriate for you ridiculous few. Enjoy.
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207 Comments
207 Responses to "Breastfeeding: Suck It"
Xerxes says:
I took the liberty of turning this into a bina-fide lolcat style poster.
Cool man! You kinda laid the text over our name, but I appreciate the effort!
Theo says:
Another version without obscuring the site name!
JeninCanada says:
Sweet! Thank you!
michelle says:
i love it!!!
heidi says:
This is great! I'm always appalled by the bf "haters" out there. Sadly, it is only in America that breast feeding is an issue. In my experience, (currently still breast feeding and my daughter turned 2 on Monday) people here think that you should stop breast feeding at 1 year and anything over that is disgusting. Totally a social thing and its sad. People don't understand that it is sooooo much better for your child. However, I don't want to bf until she's 5 either! Anywhooooo, to each their own, right? Also, I have a very similar picture of my babe and myself. Team Suck It!
Desperate House Husband says:
Sadly it's not just America that people have a problem with breastfeeding. Here in the UK there are some who really seem to consider it something almost obscene. Just as bad are those who advocate it in ALL circumstances (the "Breastapo"). My wife stopped breastfeeding fairly early – but only because we wanted to get on with number 2 as soon as possible. It's a personal choice, and by having places where you can't bf means people are excluded – downright wrong.
When people get amped about it on either side, I have a problem. What happened to civil discourse? I thought one of the purposes of growing up was to be more "adult" about things…
Kristen says:
Well said, Charlie!
I did not BF my children…..Wasn't really an option with #1 and when #2 came along I had severe PPD…..bottle/formula feeding was best for our family….
I sometimes regret not BFing #2, but all is done and she's a healthy and wonderful little girl
I truly believe each family has to do what is best for THEM and stop all the judging about who is right and who is horrid. Every baby comes with different needs….and the family does too. Remember, "to each his own"!!
MaltyMama says:
that is all
Yeah, the age limit thing is almost as bad as the "doing it in public" debate. People get crazy. But that also seems to be the norm about parenting discussions. Just plain crazy.
chris says:
love your post. my oldest BF til 10 months (he weaned himself), second son went to 18 months, and third son = 3 years. All 3 are grown men, well adjusted, college graduates and are doing what they want to do. Never received any artificial formula – only breastmilk. And, they were nursed at music festivals, fairs, company picnics, and family events. if people didn't like it, they could move somewhere else
Liesbet says:
A while ago in Belgium a woman was asked not to breastfeed her baby in the waiting room of a HOSPITAL, of all places. It became a huge discussion, but most of the people here don't have a problem with bf, thank god. Most people agree, though, that although you don't have to HIDE it, it is very natural, women should not walk around with bare breasts with a baby on them either. Just be sensible about it, I guess…
I've breastfed my baby uhm, about everywhere, but when I'm in the open, with a lot of people around (restaurant, shop,…) I tend to give my baby and myself a little privacy by placing a light cotton cloth over my shoulder.
Lol. A HOSPITAL??!?! WTH!!!?? I agree, be sensible. If I'm talking to you, just give me a heads up before launching a boob. I like respecting people's privacy and as a man, I get a little uncomfortable if I know a woman's nipple color and size.
Kristina W says:
I agree Charlie. I'm still breastfeeding my 2 year old who mainly only nurses when first waking up. If she "asks" while we're out of the house I move her hands and tell her "not right now"
But when she was younger and breastmilk was her only source of nourishment I would try to excuse myself to a less obvious place, and never in front of a man, I'd tell my friends I need to nurse her is it okay if I do that here? Not because i'm ashamed, but because I respect those around me, realizing it makes some people uncomfortable and choosing to respect them as much as I'd respect myself.
Sex is natural too, and I wouldn't want to see other people having sex. I'm being a bit extreme, but just because something is made to happen, or "natural" doesn't mean you have to flaunt it or be disrespectful about it.
Politeness and respect goes a long way towards endearing breastfeeding into the hearts of others. I've known friends whose husbands asked them not to breastfeed period because of the bad press breastfeeding gets with the over exuberant nursers demanding, picketing, and in general being rude about breastfeeding. Turning it into a social issue, instead of a parenting issue.
Stacy says:
I'm in the same boat 2 year old only nurses in morn. I distract during the day and night now too. When it was her only source of food I was also more open about it and had to do it in public at times. I always first and foremost access the situation and yes sometimes the best choice was sitting in my car as opposed to the target bathroom or floor. I posted earlier in response to Charlie and some other guy forget his name. mainly I think a mother's right to nurse/feed her child is different than the act of sex both are natural but one fulfills an immediate need the other … obviously you said it yourself it was an extreme example but that's where you must see one is deserving of protection and safeguarding because the very act of it is being hindered by society. SEx is not. We are in no danger of the act of sex becoming extinct. If men and women are choosing not to BF because of public scrutiny it's the public against it that must change. The only way we change it is to make people more comfortable with it. I'm sorry but there is truly nothing wrong with kids & adults seeing a mother nursing her baby. yes I did access every situation and act accordingly. I was discreet but I'm not going to be deterred from feeding my baby by someone's hangups about it. I will respectfully do my best to take into account that not everyone is super comfy about it but I will not let that dictate my parenting decisions. It's very sad to me that the numbers of mothers that nurse are low when it's the most natural and readily available source of perfect nourishment for a baby. (I'm not talking about Mothers who can't for valid reasons)
Stephanie says:
I don't think you should *have* to go to your car, but I have no problem with it. What I *do* have a problem with, is women breastfeeding in the bathroom. If *I'm* not going to eat in the bathroom because that's disgusting, why would you feed your baby in there????? I've never understood that one. And I never want to.
Braindonkey says:
Good for you. And yea, Team SuckIt is awesome. SHIRTS.
My wife had a hard time breast feeding. Lots of mastitis, slow milk production, etc, but she stuck with it. One day, we managed to actual get the balls to leave the house and be in public with our scream factory. We were in the corner of a Paradise Bakery, with the blanket over baby and boobie (because mommy doesn't want to give a boobie show), and some cranky old woman came over and said "you really should do that in private".
Wife's reaction? Pulled down blanket putting boob fully in view and exclaimed, "what? Eat? You're eating, she's eating, it's a restaurant. Where's the problem?" (not my wife's normal M.O. Normally she would have just turned red and started crying lol) 3 women at the table next to us started cracking up and cheering mommy.
Flip side. I got yelled at for looking at a woman breastfeeding with no attempt to hide it. We were in a waiting room, she was 5 feet away right across from me, cute baby, boob, and nothing else to look at. Can't win.
Stephanie K. says:
Braindonkey: your wife is awesome!!!
Your wife wins all.
I get sensitive about it in public only to the degree that I'm uncomfortable. There are ways to be discreet but it doesn't mean sequestering women in a corral. I just need a little head's up about it before boobie missile launch codes are activated.
Breeder says:
Your wife is SUPER awesome Braindonkey. As for looking, everyone is allowed to look wherever they want, if someone is uncomfortable with others looking at them breastfeeding they can use a blanket or whatever.
But when the looker, (not the lookee aka breastfeeding mama) is uncomfortable, I have to say tough titty. Really, being discreet isn't always possible when you have a squirmy, fussy babe that hates being covered and giving "a little head's up" only draws attention. Its a good rule of thumb to just assume that a baby is going to need to get fed at anytime they are hungry.
When I'm out and about, I've nursed my kids whenever, wherever, I did it to my own level of comfort. In the event that I was sitting with someone, specifically a male person, who I was actively conversing with, I did give them a heads up. I didn't nurse in public till I was comfortable with it and I had a nursing cover but my kids would never stand for it, so I just nursed. Usually wearing a hoodie so my back wasn't bare. I was lucky enough to only be given a weird look once, in my 4 cumulative years of breastfeeding in public. When I was at the zoo of all places (actually the same day I got awesome pictures of a gorilla mama nursing her very large baby, more like kid). I was there with my newborn and my 2.5 year old. I just smiled back and continued feeding my baby. And good for Braindonkey's wife! Don't mess with mama!
Bingo! I deal with discomfort head on. I had (and still do sometimes) have a hard time looking people in the eye when I speak. I handle that most of the time by staring intently. It usually freaks them the hell out. So, the slight (irrational) discomfort of P.B.F. is MY problem. I can move, stare intently into my iphone, or close my eyes and dream of chain saws, footballs, or whatever manly thing I am supposed to envision. (didnt want to say breezy sunny beach out loud)
Charlie: The crying baby is the alert
Love this line
"Charlie: The crying baby is the alert"
Rachel B. says:
I find that to be the most inspiring story! I also like to be discreet, but if an old women says something to me, I will pull out my boob and tell her to suck it! (Okay…maybe I won't do that…) but I will definitely let her have a piece of my mind. Being a new mom, I'm shocked at how rude and self righteous people can be. It's very frustrating.
Shannonannon says:
Yay! Your son is wise beyond his years.
That is VERY true. In many respects…
Brittney says:
I'm going to vomit.
Yes. That's right.
No.. No.. Not because of the photo but because of the term "boobie show" and the idea that women just want to walk around bare breast with a baby on them.
Wait, what?
Dork Dad says:
/sarcasm on
I'm totally turning you in to the decency police… posting online pr0n like that. Honestly, where do you get your morality?
/sarcasm off
-Dork Dad
Lolz. Lolztation.
the grumbles says:
you win. GO TEAM.
I see a movement starting…
Dana Biersdorfer says:
My son & I have a similar picture, too! Thankfully, I haven't had any problems with BREASTFEEDING, but I have had trouble at work with pumping (and was consequently "laid off" due to "restructuring of the workload"). It's great to have people speak out of this…especially a dad (man). Thank you!
No worries. Men can stick up for boobs in many ways: breastfeeding, breast cancer, breast meat on chicken. Many ways.
Pamela says:
Me and my boobs went everywhere with kid in tow and not once did anyone say anything negative. Planes, restaurants, grocery stores, costco, parks, inlaws…have boobs, will travel.
And for you, guy who can't win, I took my husband to a "hippie fest" of all my mom friends and there were boobs everywhere and the poor guy couldn't not see. One mom joked that me must think it's awesome and my husband, without hesitation, was like, "yeah, but these are workin' boobs and I'm not in to ogling the ladies at work."
Why can't we just get in the mentality of seeing public nursing and going "oh, there's a baby eating. that's nice." and then move on with our day?
If i implied that I was ogling, I miss-typed. It's a beautiful, even comforting thing to watch. I didn't realize i was watching, just was the only thing in the room, literally. (i actually for a minute thought i might be getting punk'd.
Like your husband, Them's workin boobs. Same as watching a baby panda being fed by a bottle at a zoo for the most part. Cute, warming, etc.
But to be chastised for watching, implies a desire for privacy on her part, but yet, no effort at all to hide it in a VERY OBVIOUS situation of unavoidable eyeballs.
I think the problem is that 99% of the time, it's done in private because your at home most of the time, so when it's out in public it catches attention. Same happens when someone takes a pee in public, no one want's to watch, but everyone does. Can't help it.
I can get on board with this. It's like you try harder not to stare and it makes people uncomfortable. Catch 22 (boobs).
CobyLyn says:
Braindonkey, Pamela, (and Chaz),
I for one admire women who bf in public. I LOVE babies, I like boobs, I even own a pair, lucky me! I think what the human body is capable of is AMAZING! I'd be looking/admiring/looking away/oops looking back/conversing with owner of baby-boob/repeat.
Unfortunately it's not a usual sight to see so I don't have Pamela's mentality of 'oh no biggie, baby eating.' So if anyone had a problem with me looking then I'd have to think why isn't she using a modesty cover or whatever they are called?
Braindonkey, I loved your comments and most of Pamela's, seriously Braindonkey, anyone that has problems with ANYTHING you posted has deeper issues.
Your last paragraph is an "I have a dream" speech waiting to happen.
Joanna Schroeder says:
Nice work, Charlie! And I agree with Finn!!
What a great photo.
Natasha says:
Your kid ROCKS! (and thanks for this post. It is so good to get a dad's perspective and thoughts on the topic.)
Thanks Natasha. He's a good man that kid. We fought the good fight with breastfeeding even though it was a rough go. I'm very proud of my wife for sticking it out as long as she could. She's a trooper.
Margaret says:
One of my most treasured photos is my son flipping the bird at 6 weeks while nursing.
I don't get the hate for public nursing. Its what nature intended the boobs for, cleavage is just a side benefit.
Cleavage is good. And useful at times.
Ang says:
Love "workin boobs"!! that's awesome. Go Team SuckIt!
Me too! Go Team!
Phil says:
It can't be said enough that there are a great many shirtless men walking around in public throughout the world at any given moment that can *actually* be deemed offensive.
Carry on!
Hahahahaha! Never considered that. Totally offensive.
jennifer says:
yep, i remember my taking our sweet 4 week old to the zoo last summer. she did well until lunch time, then commenced to cry quite relentlessly when she got hungry, but there was nowhere obscure to feed her that wasn't a nasty disgusting bathroom. and no out of the way benches. so i sat down on a very public bench and proceeded to breastfeed my child. to the shock of everyone who was already staring at us because of the prior screaming. "how dare you let your child cry like that in public… do something to calm her down. wait, what are you… no don't do that!! how dare you?! in public!?!" at the zoo, no less, where people line up to see the baby pandas breastfeed and ooh and aah at how perfect and sweet and peaceful and natural it is. not that i want people to line up and ooh and aah over me. just a little freakin respect and support. why is that so hard to ask?? we should expect and demand it in fact! and i don't even breastfeed anymore!!
love the pic by the way
lol i just posted a reply to a comment using baby pandas as an example. Yeay Pandas!!!
This comment is pure rad.
lol, I just posted about the only time I got dirty looks for nursing was at the zoo, too!!
marissa says:
i love this! 100% true!
chris says:
so sorry you had this experience. I keep hearing from moms that this is the reaction they get when they feed their babies in public. I really though (hoped) these attitudes were long gone – but obviously not. My sons are all in their 20's and were exclusively breastfed. (Born in the 1980 decade). I nursed them anywhere and everywhere – discreetly, as most people were unaware that I was feeding my child. We lived in Milwaukee, WI and I nursed then at company picnics, the Zoo, a large music festival, fast food restaurants, malls, and department stores. You're right, I don't eat in a bathroom, so why should my baby eat in a bathroom? Why do we smile and give positive comments when someone is bottle-feeding but not when nursing their child? Both reflect caring and nurturing behaviors. You see more skin on TV (Think Super Bowl Halftime Show), than you do when a woman is feeding her child – BUT IT SHOULDN'T MATTER!, you're doing what we're supposed to do – feed your baby the most nutritious substance developed. Don't let those people stop you- be proud that you are doing what you think is best for your child. Congratulations! You are an awesome woman and mom
Gayle says:
I got nasty looks at the zoo too!!! I am with you all moms nurse at the zoo!!! Tyler is 14 months old I nursed him at pep boys yesterday and didn't get one nasty look! So it normal to nurse at pep boys but not the zoo???????? lol
Stephanie K. says:
I've recently been in quite a few BFing debates so I'm going to quietly sneak out of any started here…but again, THANK YOU, I BF in public like a BOSS!
Debate away.
Andi says:
You tell'em son of Charlie!
Yeah, you tell them Finn!
Missy says:
"Boobie Show"? Really? Yes, I just love it when I am trying to feed my child and it becomes a "show". Just relish the idea that my stretch mark streaked breasts and ginormous areolas are on display for every teenage boy who starts to ogle and every insecure woman who can't get over the fact that the more you stare the more my child will pull off to wave and stare back. When y'all start covering your heads when you are smacking your lips sucking down a 30 ounce porterhouse and chugging light beers I will be more than happy to cover my breastfeeding child. Until then, why don't we just mind our own business and live and let live. If the back of my child heads offends you, look away!
It's tough when you've never seen a boob in real life like I have. This comment is also full of RAD.
I actually don't think the teens are ogling for the most part. They are interested/baffled/cant-not-look-at-it because it is something so foreign to them. They have enough porn on the intarwebs to convince me of that.
Breeder says:
If porn was all the boobs teenaged boys needed to look at, they could tell me what color my eyes are. True Story.
Touche! Win -> Breeder
Great thing about growing up in a family who have all breastfed-I've nursed in front of my teenaged nephew and his friends (we're talking 16 and 17 year old boys here) and not a single bit of weirdness. No staring, no funny comments. It's possible 1/2 of them didn't even realize I was nursing even though I wasn't covered up. But we sat there talking about skateboarding and punk music and had a great conversation with, really and truly, zero weirdness and no one looking or trying not to look, etc. And trust me, I was paying attention. I was curious as to what reaction I would get and I got none.
Lisa says:
Awesome pic. LOVE IT! And thank you for pointing out that you can defend breastfeeding without it being an attack on those that don't breastfeed. It's so frustrating that there can be so much anti-breastfeeding messages out there, but if you dain to defend it, you're automatically a militant lactivist oppressing the poor ladies with supply issues.
My kids hated covers, so I rarely covered when nursing in public because it drew more attention than not. And I've never had a single negative comment–I almost wish I had because I have so many great comebacks for them that I've never had a chance to use! LOL
I feel like I always have great comebacks 3 days after the fact. Good for you.
CobyLyn says:
Oh pls post comebacks anyway!
Heaven says:
I know exactly what you mean…
I actually used to carry my old nursing cover in the diaper bag so that if someone told me to "cover up" I could pull it out and tell them if they took it and covered their head/their child's head while THEY ate their meal I'd cover my baby's head while she ate hers. I used it for the first few months with my first daughter (carried it in diaper bag for a while with baby girl #2) because I thought you could get into trouble for not using one… then she got into the screaming/pulling it off/refusing to eat until she was uncovered phase and (I don't believe it was a coincidence) about a week after she started it I saw a mother nursing with no cover. I talked to the mother and promptly removed the cover and never used it again. No problems getting baby to nurse after that and I was still as discreet as one can be with a baby who keeps pulling their head away from the breast to look around lol.
I also almost want someone to tell me to do it in the bathroom so I can say "I'm glad you're cool with eating where you sh*t so you can bring your food and keep us company… Oh… You don't want to eat on a toilet or a dirty bathroom floor? Neither does my baby."
I've been lucky enough to never have anyone say anything negative though and I've nursed for almost a year total (first baby weaned herself at 8 months and 2nd is almost 4 months old now… hoping to go past 1 year AT LEAST). I'd like to think it means people are becoming more accepting of it but I think it's because I haven't encountered anyone RUDE enough to speak up about their thoughts on when, where or how I should feed my babies.
I have some more but I've already pretty much written a book here lol. My comments tend to get long.
Brandy says:
InkyDinkyMommy says:
THIS! I was asked to leave Barnes and Noble over Christmas break for breastfeeding. I have yet to go back out since. I was soo embarrassed. Not anymore!!!!
FYI. it is against the law in almost every state to prohibit breastfeeding. And many states have laws specifically giving the right to do it where ever the hell you please. Go find that asshole and hand them this page printed out.
CobyLyn says:
Seriously dude, you are becoming my hero I can picture the perfect super hero outfits for you and Charlie and Finn This has been a great post and eye opening too!
Thanks. I'm just some guy, who at the moment is trying to not get any work done, and succeeding magnificently at it. No Spandex please, it makes my fat look fat.
KD says:
haha, now I picture someone walking into B&N, sitting on the counter and feeding baby….. "I have the right to do it wherever the hell i please!" (hands out page)
Krysta says:
I keep a copy of my state BFing laws in my wallet, for just such an occasion. :). I kinna wish someone would say something!!
That is insanity.
Laurie says:
I couldn't agree with Finn more!
Heather Craft says:
Love it! My LO is 5 months old and began fussing quite loudly last night in Target. I pulled out the bottle (she has reflux so its special formula). She knocked it out of my hand! So..we found a quiet spot in the baby section and I sat on the floor next to the stoller display and she NURSED AWAY! I got a few looks but baby was happy, I was being discreet, and it didnt hurt anyone! Although hubby said the overhead security cameras got a show! LOL He said the guys in the back were probably loving it!
Jesi says:
I have bf'ed all three of my children for at least a year each. They're 5, 3, and 1. My youngest just stopped about a month after her first birthday. I loved breastfeeding my kids. And I don't have a problem with people who choose not to breastfeed. I have a problem with the stares I got out in public, even though I was completely covered up. With my first, my mom had taken us out to lunch, and my daughter got hungry. So I covered with a blanket and started to feed her. The people at the table next to us started looking and staring. Not uncomfortable stares, they were 'Ooh, she's got her boob out under that blanket. Let's keep looking to see if the blanket falls off and we can see!' stares and creepy smiles. It made me really uncomfortable, and the people at the next table were all men and in their 40's. Breastfeeding is very natural and personal, and the way those grody old men (I was 24 at the time – so old seems appropriate) were sexualizing it made me very uncomfortable. Thinking about still makes me uncomfortable, and it's been 5 years!
Breeder says:
This is one of the many reasons I have never used a cover, it draws more attention than just getting down to business 9 times out of 10.
ana {bluebirdkisses} says:
I will never understand why breastfeeding is so taboo in this culture. We were in Spain last summer with our 5month old {at the time} and there I was completely free and able to feed my son, whenever, whereever. No questions…no funny looks…no snide remarks. It was pretty lovely to just be normal for a change.
I don't get the big issue.
If you can breastfeed privately, then do it. If you cannot, then cover up. If you cannot cover up, then turn away from people. If you can't do it privately, and you cannot cover up, and you cannot turn away, then you're probably a weird breastfeeding exhibitionist.
I'm hungry…
Breeder says:
You have some strange hang ups buddy.
Shit My Kid Says says:
Um…yeah… (turning away from crazy person)
Christine says:
If you can't stand people breastfeeding publicly, don't go out. If you have to go out, look away from people who breastfeed. If you can't look away, don't stare.
If you have to go out in public, and cannot look away, can't avoid staring, and can't handle it, then you're probably the weird one.
Wait, what?! Maybe I didn't make myself clear. I have no problem with moms breastfeeding in public (unless you're saying that the mom is under no obligation to try and be discreet with the body parts she exposes).
My point is that if a mom is mindful of the fact that there are other people around, then no one in their right mind should be concerned about what's happening under the blanket.
Not sure when I said I couldn't stand public breastfeeding.
But you also bring up another good point — just as much as it is the mother's responsibility to be discreet, the "watchers" have an obligation not to keep looking over and making it more uncomfortable.
If , after reading that, you still think I'm crazy and shouldn't go out in public, I'd like to know why.
I think the point is, why do I need to turn away? And if I don't, that makes me a "breastfeeding exhibitionist" seriously? And why does it start with me having to do it "privately"? And if not "privately" then I have to "cover up" and if I can't cover up I need to "turn away". How about I just go about my business and feed my baby without having to have concern about someone caring about the method I chose to feed him? I'm simply feeding my baby in the most natural, healthy and best possible way and I could care less if there are people out there, like you, who seem to think this is something I need to keep hidden. I'm just feeding my kid. That's all I'm doing. It's not my job to cater to people who have issues with it. It's my job to take care of my baby and that is exactly what I'm doing by feeding him when he is hungry. No, I'm not going to stay home for the first two years of my kids' lives so that other people who can't stand the sight of me FEEDING MY BABY can be more comfortable. And I assure you, I'm not sitting here whipping my boob out for all the world to see, shouting, "Hey everyone! Check it out!! I'm feeding my baby with my BOOB!!!" Generally I'm the one sitting on a bench somewhere quiet happily nursing my baby in the warm sun, enjoying my baby and the outside air.
shanny says:
"I think the point is, why do I need to turn away? And if I don't, that makes me a "breastfeeding exhibitionist" seriously? And why does it start with me having to do it "privately"? And if not "privately" then I have to "cover up" and if I can't cover up I need to "turn away". How about I just go about my business and feed my baby without having to have concern about someone caring about the method I chose to feed him?"
you took the words out of my mouth. it melts my brain to think that other people care so much about my baby eating. it's certainly not MY problem. (which is why i just whip it out and feed the bloody baby!)
I think if you make no attempt whatsoever to cover up your breast, then that is a problem. I'm not asking you to hide or be ashamed of the fact that you are breastfeeding in public, I'm just saying that common courtesy says that, when you do breastfeed in public (a practice that I fully support), you need to be mindful of what you are exposing to the public — just like you're required to do when you're not breastfeeding.
Am I really that off-base here?
Michael, you're two-facing it a bit. paraphrase: You should cover up, but not asking you to hide or be ashamed. Those are mutually exclusive.
The problem is it's almost like a disability. Baby needs food, baby starts crying lots, mommy feeds baby for both life and peace. Like a quad who needs to be fed by their care giver. No one asks them to cover up because it's 'uncomfortable' to see, which it usually is. And the quad cant do it their self. (horrible analogy, i know, but i drank too much coffee and can't think of something better. so apologies for comparing BF to being disabled. lol)
shanny says:
how do i know if i'm covering up just enough for you? or you? or you? i may as well just wear a sheet around.
why does it make you uncomfortable? if it doesn't, then why are why having this discussion? you say you support breastfeeding, which makes me wonder if you policed the level of modesty your wife was showing; "honey, that guy just glanced at you. maybe pull your top up a little bit more"
i know this is semantics but i don't think women are running around tits out yelling check this shit out! before feeding their hungry baby. we just pop it out quietly and feed.
am i covered up enough for you michael? what if i pull this bit of shirt up here? is that better? oh no, the baby pulled the wrap off. will i be raped? put in jail? ejected from the mall?
it's silly. women have enough to worry about with a new baby.
Great conversation here.
I guess where I'm at a loss is in understanding that there are women out there that truly don't mind being intentionally bare-breasted in a public setting (for the purposes of breastfeeding, anyway). Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I just assumed that a woman would prefer to be covered up as much as possible.
Shanny and Braindonkey, just so that we can be clear, are you saying that you would have no problem with a breastfeeding woman who makes no effort at modesty? Where do YOU draw the line?
Lordie, they are just breasts. I draw the line at the *nursing mother's* own level of comfort. And no, I actually don't care if she is sitting there with her breast fully out nursing her baby. I really don't. Did *I* sit there with my breast hanging out 100% with no shirt or anything. No, I didn't. Generally I wear clothes when I'm out and about and my baby's head was covering any bit of my breast that might have been exposed. No great effort on my part to cover up, no nursing cover. That was me, that was what I was comfortable with. Everyone has their definition of "modesty". My big problem is your post comes across an awful lot like you feel the need to "shame' a nursing mother if she is exposed at all. Sorry, it's a breast, get over it. Guess what, in countries where it's allowed, I've also sunbathed topless. No one would be harping on me for that, but show an inch of skin while nursing (less than I see at most US beaches) and it's shame on me for not being "modest". Sorry, I also think breastfeeding needs to be seen as much as possible. It would make other womens' journeys into breastfeeding a whole lot easier if we, as a society, knew what proper breastfeeding looked like, we had friends and mothers and sisters to watch and teach us how to do it. That is a large factor in the difficulty women have these days. They don't have the examples they used to have. Honestly, there were loads of times I breastfed out in the open in public, where people were chatting with me, and never even noticed I was nursing. And when they did, thankfully they were kind and supportive of me feeding my baby in a healthy and natural way. Breastfeeding rocks. Breasts rock. And there is no need to be shamed into hiding it away.
Stacy says:
spoken from a man who has never tried to nurse a baby while holding a cover up in place while tiny baby is trying to pull that cover off every two seconds. It really causes more commotion to try to fight the baby to keep it in place. I don't know many (any) nursing moms that use breastfeeding as their chance to do some titty flashing. It's a mother's responsibility to feed her baby! While we are doing the best job of being discreet, our main focus is feeding the baby not weather or not it offends you. I am a modest person and I'm not so comfortable whipping out my breast in public but my child's needs are more important than my shyness. Most likely you will not see more of my breast than you would if I was in a bathing suit but sometimes that baby pulls off without warning or refuses blanket etc. Sorry you may see more. I've seen more at the beach.
For CHARLIE: I don't remember when it became normal to say I'm about to take a bite of this sandwich close your eyes or walk away. why should I warn you I'm about to feed my baby? If we are in that close of proximity I believe you are perceptive enough to anticipate the baby is going to get fed by the clues that come right before. If a woman is comfortable enough to start feeding her baby in front of you assume she is comfortable with you being right there. If she goes into super covert mode assume she is not and give her some space (I'm assuming somehow she has not done that herself). Social cues are something you take part in every day without words I believe Charlie, you can get comfortable with this and by reading your latest comments I think you are starting to wrap your head around it. I wish it was the norm for women to nurse so everybody had more practice being comforatable. That being said I've nursed all 5 of my kids and I really don't remember an occasion I was spoken to about not doing it in public. I do remember occasionally feeling creeped out by a man's vibe in which case I would employ my husband's protective burn a hole through you with his eyes shield or if he wasn't with me I'd move. Let's bring back nursing to Sesame Street/media let's make sure this new generation is totally at ease. read story below on Huffington post and that comment will make sense
By the way all these folks that are so offended by public nursing do you also go up to scantily clad women in barely there bikinis/clothing and tell them to cover up? The human body can do amazing things including turn people on and sustain life… which concept do you take issue with? What is so offensive exactly about public feeding? it baffles me. Do you think it's turning men/boys on? do you honestly think they haven't seen a boob? or been turned on by what a woman does? what is it? I actually think people that are offended by it have hangups beyond this one issue regarding sex. Like to poll these folks and I'm sure a they have a few more wacky ideas about sex, babies, and bodies. Don't like to sound too judgmental but when someone actually approaches a woman in any negative way while she is feeding her baby they have the problem! Every time I see a nursing momma in public I want to high five her -of course I can't otherwise I would be seen as a weirdo but I mentally do. Nursing is not sexual it is primal, natural part of life and should be protected and safeguarded. Maybe this is why a lot of women are choosing formula because they fear public scrutiny (I said some not all). Go FINN & TEAM SUCK IT
Elizabeth Flora Ross says:
One of the things I regret is never letting my hubby take a picture like this. He wanted to capture the beauty that breastfeeding is. These days I miss those moments and wish I had a photo to look back on just like this one.
I nursed my daughter everywhere, and never had anyone take issue with it. I even received positive feedback from complete strangers. As in, "Way to go, mom." And "Good for you!" I did use a nursing cover most of the time. I was more comfortable that way, and my daughter was very easily distracted so she did better with one. But in the heat of the Florida summer? Forget it? The last thing she needed was to be under a blanket. I was as discreet as I could be, and no one seemed bothered by it.
Shannah says:
I especially like the way that he is flipping the bird. Or did no one else notice that?
TheNextMartha says:
I never took any pictures. The though never even crossed my mind. Of course that was before phones with cameras. I'm cool with it though. Nice boob.
Jennifer says:
this is just awesome!!
Annie says:
I breastfed for the entire first year until I had to stop because of my own health. When I see this picture all I think about is how cute that baby is and how much I enjoyed breastfeeding. That time with my daughter was very important to me. It was tough letting it go. I have breastfed standing in the back of Bed, Bath, and Beyond. On to many planes to count etc. One time I was in between two men. I covered up and not one of those guys complained or acted uncomfy. I did have a friend that would pull her boobs out regardless of who was around. It was just weird. I always did my best to keep the situation mostly covered. I have sat in church and fed during the service. No one said a word. So I think there is a limit to how open you should be in public but I was not about to starve my kid either.
Yvonne says:
WHOO! Go boobies!
I, thank god, have never received any negative attention for nursing in public. I think my husband would have several choice words to say if someone dared say anything to me.
My daughter had to use a nipple shield for the first 5 months, which I had to hold, which means I couldn't cover her with a blanket because I couldn't see what I was doing. I can still usually cover most of my breast with my shirt, but it's still hard to keep everything covered the whole time. It's nice to have people standing up for us nursing moms!
Marilyn Gardner says:
This is awesome! After breastfeeding 5 children I love this. I didn't actually know there was any other way to feed a baby :). The fact that our society prides itself on tolerance and yet has such a problem with breastfeeding is unbelievably infantile. I remember when my mother-in-law said to my husband "She's going to breast feed? What will I tell your father and brothers?" To which he replied "Tell them she's feeding our baby!" Thank you for this!
shanny says:
in australia, we have our ta-ta's out all over the place. yay for our babies!
Mel says:
I don't understand why people use a cover, it's like an arrow BOOB HERE > I breastfeed in public, and most of the time no one notices. In fact, I often have strangers look to see the cute baby (who could blame them, I make gorgeous kids) and only notice when they're close enough to reach out and stroke her hair, which really freaks them out, as though they're actually touching another woman's boob.
When we were new to breastfeeding, I used the parents room when we were at a shopping centre, because it was awkward when I was out of practice, and bub was new at it, but the parents rooms are usually crowded, so I only bother to go in there to change her nappy now
Christina says:
covers aren't about hiding the fact there's a boob. i could wear a shirt that says MY BOOBS LIVE HERE written across the chest without changing the fact no one can see the details of said boobs. i don't care if people know i'm bf'ing. i just don't want them seeing my boob.
– proud bf'er and typed while doing said deed.
my wife used a cover for two reasons.
1) she was boob-tarded and couldnt manage to get going without it looking like she was wrestling a bag of cats. (she was absurdly huge)
2) baby wouldn't eat without it most of the time in public. Too much to look at, can't miss anything.
And of course Christina, not focusing 100% of your attention on breastfeeding would get you yelled at as well. So, BAD mommy for multitasking! My wife would have laptop on 1 knee, baby propped up to boob, and be on the phone all the same time. our kid still loves mommy.
I attempted to use a cover when I was new at nursing, I was more comfortable that way. Just that simple. I had no clue what I was doing and my boob was about 3 sizes of my baby's head. That being said, my babies both would have nothing to do with a cover and it made things worse. They were focused solely on getting the cover off and I ended up flashing a whole lot more boob in my attempts to use the cover. I was able to easily keep my breasts covered up with my shirt and stuff without the need of a cover. There was definitely a time when there was the whole distraction situation where the baby wanted to pop off at every little sound and movement. For those times I just had to find somewhere quiet to nurse because it wasn't happening any other way.
And lol at "boob-tarded" that was me in the beginning, but I can officially say I have the hang of it now…now that I'm not even nursing anymore.
Christina says:
Proud multi-tasker. I love my kids to pieces…but 20 minutes of staring at 1) my vein-laced, pale white boob and 2) a nursing infant with closed eyes and newborn acne that makes me want to scrub her face with a brillo pad would drive me absolutely INSANE. Not to mention repeat session with boob #2…
When my son was around 3 months, we got adept enough at breastfeeding that I was able to play World of Warcraft during feeding times. Happy parents = Happy babies =D
KD says:
my girl is nearly 15 months and still breastfeeds….. only at home now as her breastfeeding is sporadic (one day she will, next day she won't) and she just doesn't have a need for it when we are out anymore, but when she was younger if there wasn't a feeding area available I would just stop and feed her whenever she needed it…. never used a cover. I was never approached and told not to feed and it was inappropriate. I would love to know what these people who think it should only be done in private say if told you find their eating in public offensive and they should only do it in private.
What I mainly get now, when people find out she still breastfeeds, is strange looks and comments that she is too old for it. I suffered from a very painful condition called vasospasms in early breastfeeding, and worked very hard to be able continue breastfeeding so as long as she chooses to breastfeed (within reason, but most babies naturally wean when the time is right for them anyway) I will continue to breastfeed her. What does it matter to these people anyway, it is now done only in my home, usually in the morning when she wakes up, and that is it.
Katy says:
so funny!
I wasn't able to breastfeed because of my medicine and I have actually received a lot of criticism for it! Apparently people can't be happy no matter what you do! I say feed that baby
no you can't win. I will place money that at least one jackass said "you should stop your medicine so you can breastfeed", without any knowledge of why you take it. life-saving or not. Friend of mine got that repeatedly, even from family who knew what the meds were for and if she stopped, would severely diminish her daily quality of life. Rational was, "you can suffer for the kid". Right, like the 11am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am wakeup calls from baby aren't enough, not to mention the 500 other things.
Milly says:
awesome, awesome, awesome… you rock! kuddos to you and your family
HBACingMama says:
Great picture! I've BF'd all my babies (#4 is drinking from the tap as I write this) in public, usually without a cover. The only negative comment I got was from an older brother…I think he disliked the idea of me even havings breasts, let alone using them for something. I should preface this by saying I've never been very close to any of my brothers. My Gramma was dying and in ICU. We went to say our goodbyes, and my son (child #2) needed to nurse. I plopped down in a chair in the waiting room (facing away from the majority of the room) and proceeded to nurse him. My brother walk by and said "Go to the bathroom." I looked square at him and said "Go to hell." In the six years since, he's never said another word to me about nursing. Hee, hee.
YourfriendlyneighborhoodDaddyman says:
The "why can't you bf in the bathroom" comment is totally obnoxious. If my wife was feeding our daughter at say BK & someone asked her that I'd be quick to ask them to go finish their Whopper sitting on a toilet.
Christina says:
I breastfed in a Lowes bathroom all of once before I determined it would NEVER happen again.
I am a modest person but after that, I have very little qualms with feeding in public. I just wear nursing tanks under normal shirts, maternity shirts, or bring a cover. I guess I'm lucky that my babies like to be covered for feeding sessions.
Ruthanne says:
Funny enough it was my older brother who was the most freaked out. My son was born at my mum's house which is detached and not overlooked by any other houses. My son was jaundiced so the midwife said to sit in the sunlight so I did s told, feeding by the window in the dining room. My poor brother totally couldn't cope with any hint of seeing his little sister's boobs doing such a good job (and it being my first day breastfeeding, feeling shy as I was, I was doing my utmost to be discrete) He was yelling at me 'get away from the window! You'll be SEEN!' And I was like, 'Who by? A police helicopter?!'
Bless him. He learned to adjust to me over the years but has been insistent on his wife using a 'modesty cloth' as he calls it.
Shit My Kid Says says:
Amen, brother Finn.
Heather says:
I love all the daddies behind this post! Its great. I just got done breastfeeding my 8 week old at the gym with my two year old. Did I use a cover nope. Did I flop my boob out for the world to see, nope, I just discretely lifted my nursing tank, baby latched on and no one saw a damn thing. You don't need a cover to be discrete. I had one with me in case he got squirmy, but sometimes they just hate to be covered. I loved reading all the comments! Thanks for your support dads!
I love your line, "You don't need a cover to be discrete." I tried to take the pro-discretion stance, but I think some of the commenters to my original post misunderstood and somehow thought I was asking them to wear a burqa.
They were not happy with me.
Anyway, I think you are the perfect example of a public breast-feeding mom — someone who understands the value of being discreet.
Well said.
Jamie says:
The perfect breastfeeding mom is one who makes sure her child is fed, jackass.
Dollface says:
Indeed! I don't want to shove breastfeeding in people's faces; I don't see a need. I just also don't see a need to hide in a dark room, lol. You can definitely feed uncovered without being over the top and offensive. Just do it, don't flash it around and be done. It's about feeding your baby, not trying to make a scene. Well said!
Mama1mama2MAMA3 says:
We were also at the zoo one day and the nice little nursing nook is outside. In the freezing windy cold….. And my friend and I Both need to feed our babies- noplace!! Sooooooo. We were on he way to the giraffe area about to retreat to the elephant building when we went into he naked mole rat display. YAY plenty of bench space and nobody there!! Until we had the babies hooked up…. Then swarms of people came in— and soon 4 other babies needing to eat! Haha! So we were joking about being on display and wondered if we could get paid for it….. It was just cool. And there were all varieties of covered-ness. And a few disgruntled people wanderIng thru the display were surprised, a few thought it was awesome and a couple told us it wasn't decent. Oh well. Can't please everyone. I'd do it again.
Deanna says:
I love that picture. Makes me wish I was still nursing my son and he's almost 2. I stopped nursing him when he was 9 mo, but I nursed my daughter 'till she was 14 mo. I would have went longer with my son, but I was working and it made it difficult to produce. When I had my daughter we were in Germany and there is no such thing as modesty there(exaggerating). A woman breast feeding in public was normal and completely natural. However, when I had my son, we were back in the states and I deffinately had to be a little more discrete. Needless to say, I sometimes did my breastfeeding in the car. But I still LOVE that picture. It's beautiful.
Manon and Alethea says:
When my daughter got bigger (she weaned at 22m) I couldn't really hold her in the normal bf-position(the laying in the arms one) so I had her sit on my lap as if she where hugging me. This really worked well in public, nobody could say anything cos by the looks of things she was just hugging her mommy!
Other than that, I've only had one comment while I was bf publicly. A older lady came over and actually said, wow I wish more mothers would do what you're doing.
But I live in South Africa and breastfeeding seems rather acceptable here.
I just really hope that people would loosen up a bit more about it. I mean at the end of the day its just feeding a baby…would somebody go and ask a mother bottle feeding her child to go do it somewhere else?? No of course not, she just feeding her child. So why bf would be any different is beyond me…
Progressive Parenting says:
Krystal says:
Love this! I literally could not cover up. My baby had really bad reflux we didn't get under control until he was 5 months old. Until then, he would scream and cry and pull off frequently and it was all I could do just to get him latched on, let alone juggling a cover. Plus, those things are dang HOT and I was afraid he'd suffocate.
I did do the two-shirt technique, and I tried to find somewhere out-of-the-way, but more for my own privacy and the embarrassment of the battle than for anyone else's comfort.
Monica says:
I had a real hard time BF my daughter who is now 3, My daughter couldnt just couldnt get the milk to come out lol not for the lack of trying. I ended up having to pump as well as put her on the breast. Then after about a month my supply dried up. I guess there wasnt enough supply. BUT I think BF is wonderful and I'm glad my daughter got it for the first month. I see no issues with formula either however a mom and baby chooses. When i was BF the only place I had an issue was at the mall. I had a light receiving blanket over me but someone in the FAMILY BATHROOM said something. She said you know thats what they make pumps for so you can be discreet. no skin was showing. I didnt cause a seen and i packed up my daughter and went to our maturnity store and they let me use their dressing room. as I was leaving another lady said wow your a rude B word she was just feeding her child. I dont like confortations. GO BREASTFEEDING!!!!!
Just a Dizzy Dad says:
Wicked awesome!!! I love how your little one is flipping the bird!
ANd, I am totally with you on this issue. I am glad My friend pointed you out to me.
Dave says:
Anyone else have a problem when they tried to share this link on Facebook and a completely different picture came up? Is this a filter thing (my wife tells me FB has a problem with breastfeeding photo's.)
no issue here. i just tried it. it's possible that the howtobeadad server failed to respond for that image when you tried. most likely internet fail.
Craig says:
My wife tried for months to breast-feed but her supply slowly died. They blame it on a thyroid condition. I happily support breast-feeding as the husband and I will support my wife next go around when we can try it again! Thanks for the wonderful post!
Belldon Colme says:
Have you ever smelled a breast feeding baby's breath? It is sweet. I mean that in the literal sense. Have you smelled their soiled diapers? They hardly have any odor at all.
Have you ever smelled a formula baby's soiled diapers? Damn, man, you could kill a wild boar with those. And their breath is unpleasant, at best.
Listen– nature is trying to tell us something here. This is not a matter of morality, it is a matter of biology. Formula is the first experience a person has with processed food. It is every bit as bad for babies as it is for adults.
The end.
Together, let's put the fun back into life!
Belldon Colme
Mazy says:
I'm a little uncomfortable with all the comments of folks saying they are uncomfortable with it, or that a woman needs to be discreet. Umm, WHY? Do you eat with a blanket over your head? Does a baby with a bottle eat with a blanket over it's head? No. So why should my children be forced to because I chose to bf? Breasts are not sexual organs, so everyone needs to relax. I've nursed while sitting on the floor at Grand Central Station, at the library & park, even while walking through the mall Christmas shopping & carrying the older one on my hip (babe was in a sling)…If anyone saw any part of my breasts, I'm sure it wasn't any more than what is exposed by oh so many young ladies who have an interesting sense of fashion & are NOT bfing. I've never seen a scantily clad teenager being told publicily to cover herself, when a lot of them certainly are indecent!
Stacy says:
Veronica says:
I never had comments, just looks and head shakes when out and BF. At the mall, just sitting on a bench, feeding a baby. Just looked at them and asked if they would prefer a screaming baby.
I did have a bad experience (or several) while bottle feeding my first (no milk to be had, although I tried EVERYTHING. I was told
1-no, we can't give you hot water to heat a bottle. Breastfeed and it won't be an issue.
2-Please hide your formula. We don't want you to influence other moms (at health center)
3-Why are you giving a bottle. Your milk is really best. You really shouldn't give your baby a bottle. Not good.
The last was from the owner of a convenience store… I had just stopped during a road trip to feed the baby.
I asked what makes HIM think he knows what is best for my baby, and informed him it was entirely possible that it was "MY" milk and that he really shouldn't tell a stranger how and what to feed her baby, especially when that stranger is a new mom with all the new mom hormones.
Kippie says:
You name a location, and I've probably breastfed there. I've never had any flack, and if someone tried, they'd get an earful! I use a cover in public, but it's no secret what I'm doing. (Happy baby feet poking out are a dead give-away.)
ajira says:
Thank you so much for bringing me so much joy in the middle of the night. I've been reading comments and giggling my substantial arse off. LOL.
Been breastfeeding for almost three years now and it was always a given/no brainer. Totally familiar with those that struggle or can't (founded a cooperative to share breastmilk with those that want it but don't have it) and accepting of their right to choose what's best for their babies.
I think the idea of discretion when it comes to breastfeeding still points to a sense of boobs being something that should fundamentally not be seen in public. Especially annoying when men wander around shirtless at will and more so (like someone else said) when they really could do with being covered… my eyes! my eyes!
I was/am more worried about my backfat being exposed and getting cold than I was about my ginormous boob being seen. My son is almost three and my boob is still bigger than his head so there's no way to hide this mother. I've never enjoyed eating under a tablecloth and my son shares the sentiment so that wasn't an option either.
Now, bf rarely happens in public as there are far more interesting things going on when we're out and about. But if it does happen again, I have a long list of comebacks I'm ready to use. Including, 'Suck it, grandma!' LOLest!!
Monica says:
Finn is RAD! Nuff said. Hehe. Love it!
Jelisa | Blogging Ever After says:
THIS is awesome!
Stacy says:
youtube video of crazy things people say to nursing moms
Kurt says:
Makes me wonder how it is acceptable for everyone to "ignore" or "pretend" the homeless lady is not giving blowjobs for money behind the Whole Foods. But customers inside the store complain. I say, wip your tits out and give the liquor of life sustaining! Unabashed and unforgiving.
Daddy's in Charge? says:
Funny…. Good minds think alike.
luis says:
I know I will get some negative comments for this but here we go:
I´m the proud father of 3 (2 girls and 1 boy) they were all breastfed and we (my wife and I) were pretty saddened when in all 3 cases her milk ran out at around 6 months.
To me both extremes of the debate are equally ridicule. Those who say that breastfeeding in public is offensive are just as absurd as those who say: Hey the kid is just eating!
You are not popping out a burger or a pizza or even a bottle. You are popping out a breast, a body part than in most contexts is a sexual body part.
So I advocate discretion; it´s not anything to be ashamed or that has to be hidden, but when possible I do think women should try to be discrete.
My wife went through all the stages, the cover, a simple baby blanket to full breast exposal, all according to the situation at hand; but she always felt more comfortable when she was able to be discreet. I live in Mexico, my wife never got even a disapproving look (I actually can't understand how someone can take issue with this) and the discretion part is not something for the benefit of "others" to me and my wife it was a personal choice.
Another example, sometimes on the highway you just have to pee so you pull over.
Peeing is not something to be ashamed or has to be hidden, it´s a bodily function shared by both males or females… still you don't pee in the middle of the highway if you are a man you turn around so not to show you penis to the incoming traffic or if you are a woman you try to do your business away from the public eye.
It's a matter of personal modesty, not a matter of shame.
For me no need to give a heads up or whatever, if the baby is hungry he needs to eat, period. But if the circumstances allow it I rather had my wife be discreet than to pull her full breast out.
Excellent points. I find it fascinating that, to many others here, promoting personal modesty=shaming the mother into seclusion. On this issue, I begin from the assumption that a woman would *prefer* to be discreet. Unfortunately, the most vocal responses seem to gravitate more toward an "I'm just gonna whip my boob out where I want and if you don't like it, you can just stay home" approach.
I don't get that.
luis says:
I saw your post and the replies you got; maybe it was the wording that provoqued the reaction you got.. anyway mine was meant as support
The romans had a saying that meant "the virtue is in the middle" meaning that polarized positions maybe are not the best and you got some pretty extreme answers
Christina says:
You are not popping out a burger or a pizza or even a bottle. You are popping out a breast, a body part than in most contexts is a sexual body part.
YES!!! /agree
Stacy says:
It's actually not exclusively a sexual body part
primarily by evolution standpoint,
the main purpose of breasts = to lactate and feed an infant
modern society/the media has presented them in the sexual way
so I believe there is a difference between the girl smooshing her boobs against the window washing a car in a Carl's Jr. commercial =obviously (sexual) and a mama feeding her baby.
I don't pop out my boob to feed a baby by the way.
Since when did the human body become so offensive?
I'd like to talk about that.
Why do people take so much issue with this and not how tiny bikini's are or something else? (I could care less)
What about feeding your baby with you body is so taboo? ANd I am all for discreetly nursing but the more it seems I feel pushed into hiding the more I think we actually need to go out and nurse in public so we can get people comfortable with it. NO not popping our boobs in everyone's faces just quietly going about our business BF with the full LEGAL right to where ever children are allowed to be.
BOy AM I grateful I am protected by the LAW
Luis says:
Lol we are in agreement there the main function of the boob is to feed the infant but we live in a society that 99% of the time perceives the boob as sexual
It is not offensive nor rude to breastfeed and if anything I said before can be construed as such I apologize
Just like you I believe discretion is important but never more important than a child with hunger
Christina says:
My favorite fictional character (Bones) would say something about how the purpose of breasts (providing life-sustaining nourishment to children) actually is what creates the sexual connotation when men look for a mate (someone who can produce healthy offspring).
But aside from the breasts general purpose or not, there are plenty of women who find sexual pleasure in having their breasts played with. That is not socially or culturally learned. There are hormones produced when nipples are played with – that wonderful feel good hormone. Ironically the same one that helps us produce more milk and make our uterus contract…but it also is the same hormone that induces the big "O".
So aside from the complete narrow-minded view of the purpose of breasts in your statement, they are not solely for the purpose of feeding babies and are, in fact, a sex object as well.
luis says:
Christina: I dont really get what your point is, the tone of your post is antagonistic but what you concluded is what i´ve been saying all along! I´m happy we are in agreement
Stacy says:
How did you read into my post that I think breasts are ONLY meant for nursing a baby?
re-read before you call someone's view narrow minded. I'm trying to make a point that we as women, as humans are capable of more than this one sided view of breasts and bodies. we are capable of opening our points of view
this forum is giving us a chance to see things differently, to connect and hear each other and because of this opportunity I feel the need to keep posting- maybe something I say will change one person's mind a little. So many here are echoing this philosophy of acceptance and support for BFeeders it's so awesome but for those who are still "uncomfortable" consider this:
Maybe next time you are in the presence of a BF mom try to feel into where the uncomfortable feelings are coming from what's it really about? Did someone say your body is something you should hide and cover up or feel ashamed of? Or a decent/polite woman wouldn't do that in public? Cause if that is what's coming up for you… that's your work to do and not a part of my experience with my child. Or maybe you are fine and comfortable with your point of view but don't put that on me. You're right Luis it's a matter of personal modesty that every woman has to decide for themselves and then respect each other's points of view. I'm just asking for more tolerance, less judgment. I absolutely know I'm going to turn off most people with that touchy feely stuff- those will think I'm some hippie dippy mom, soap boxing for my own benefit. But I'm not different from any other parent who wants the best for her children. I want real change and real acceptance for my fellow nursing mommies. I want no man to ever tell his partner not to nurse for fear of public scrutiny or any woman decide not to for the same reason. I'm just trying to get the people who are "for nursing in public as long as it's discreet" -to stop trying to tell a mom how much is too much boob to show while nursing. Or how she should conduct herself to please you. WE try not to show too much or to make a big scene about it but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. I'm more comfortable being discreet about it and I feel like people should respectful in return by not drawing attention to it. We are not popping out boobies in people's faces. The majority of women are BF discreetly. Instead of the debate of what's appropriate and good manners and thoughtful how about supporting the act of BFing wherever a women does it? Try to work through those feelings that have anything to do with decency and just maybe we will lose those hangups as a society.
A woman's body is many things including a turn on to males but it's not my responsibility to worry about what anyone is thinking. You can THINK anything you want but legally the law is on the side of the nursing mother so it's you that has to adjust.
If women did nurse more frequently in big numbers in public then there would be a shift, eventually it would be normal to see and people wouldn't make such a fuss over it and in turn more babies would benefit from breast milk which has lifelong benefits to mother and child !Children would not feel uncomfortable if their parents did not pass on their feelings to them. Kids learn that and pick up on that energy from the people around them. If they don't have it naturally why teach them that? What benefit is it to the planet to pass on these ideas of what's decent and respectful around nursing a baby to the next generation? I'm more interested in why this gets more attention than some of the violent & over sexual billboards and commercials my children are subjected to just by walking outside my door, not if they may see a mother nursing her baby in the park or target. I always nursed in front of my kids and their friends and none of them ever batted an eye it was more like "what is she doing there? oh she's nursing the baby? on with their business they would go- the ones that stare or are more curious, are the ones being taught it's something taboo. I'm more concerned with how "decent" we are to each other and teaching my children to respect a woman's body and ALL it can DO!
Dollface says:
I am a mother of 2 beautiful girls (ages 2 years 9 months and 9 months old). I have been blessed with an ample supply of milk for both of them. My oldest weaned herself at 16 months old, but I caught hell from friends and family for letting her nurse past the age of 1. To me, that's bull. I was also shamed into going into the bathroom and feeding her when out in public or over at a relative's or friend's house. I had to be quarantined for the obscenity of feeding my daughter! How could I whip that boob out and sustain my child's life?!
Yeah.. within the first month of my second baby's life..that went right out the window. I developed the "suck it" mentality. We've been feeding our children this way for ages. If you think it's obscene or have any kind of problem with it, that's in you.. not me. I will whip my boob out in Walmart, at Ruby Tuesdays, or even at a sporting event. Why should I have to shamefully hide to sustain my child, or even let my child wait because someone might see and have a problem with it?? Also.. I get the "kids might see and they won't understand!" bit a lot. That's their parents' shortcoming, not mine. My child won't suffer for others' poor parenting.
Kristina W says:
I don't think teaching your children to respect others, as they themselves would like to be respected is "poor parenting" And while I don't mind people breastfeeding in front of my children, I hold high regard for my friends who are considerate enough to ask me if it bothers me.
As for the sustaining your childs life after a certain age, it's no longer the only way to feed a child. So where as I'll deal with flack for feeding my hungry child in the only way she will eat, while trying to respect those around me, I won't force myself on others by feeding a toddler who doesn't like to be discrete in public just because.
Why do we feel that because certain things are "natural" that they're a more legitimate cause than others. Like because it's natural it trumps everybody elses feelings, preferences, and rights around you. I have friends who dislike the use of foul language, I can drop the F bomb once in awhile, but around these friends I respect their preferences and feelings. I have people who like to tell hurtful jokes, they know it bothers me so they keep them clean around me and share those with people who it won't bother. We live in a society that's so self centered and self focused that we zone out on everybody else around us and fight for our rights to make ourselves happy, our lives easier, our demands the highest. If something makes our lives a little more complicated, well screw that, I'm fighting for my ease regardless of who I trample.
In some countries women go around topless, in other countries you can be jailed, stoned, killed for showing your ankles. I don't know because I don't live there, but here in America is the only society that seems to fight about everything. Sue everyone, picket, protest, and sign petitions if we're inconvenienced. So just *maybe* this breastfeeding issue isn't as deeply important to our futures as we're making it. For crying out loud, back in the days of I Love Lucy they weren't allowed to use the word "pregnancy" can you imagine women going out and breastfeeding their babies in public???
There's a difference between "hiding in shame" and being considerate of those around you. One is behaving as you've done something wrong, the other is behaving as if those around you have just as valid feelings and opinions as your own self.
Dollface says:
I respect your opinion, however I disagree to some extent.
As for your "treating others as they would like to be treated" or "respecting others as they would like to be respected".. I have no idea how you pulled that from my statement. I stated that if a child doesn't understand me breastfeeding my child, the lack of knowledge or fault thereof is not my responsibility, it is their parents'. I have always taught my children respect. I don't even know how that came from my topic of children and breastfeeding.
Because it's natural doesn't mean it trumps others' feelings. However, how many people think of the mom in that situation? She's doing the very best thing she can for her baby by breastfeeding that child. Hands down. Why should she be alienated and punished for that by being secluded or banned from feeding the child? Women are allowed to take out a bottle and feed a baby anywhere, but it is inappropriate to bare your breast and feed your child. Can you tell me just why this is inappropriate? I really honestly don't understand the logic behind it.
I don't see how me feeding my child could offend or hurt anyone's feelings, whereas telling a hurtful joke or cursing definitely could. I don't see them on the same level. People treat breastfeeding like it's an obscene act. It's true. And a big part of that has to do with the mindset we have on the human body. Our culture has both over-sexualized everything about the body and tabooed sex at the same time.
We are bombarded with "sexy" things every day due to media, but breastfeeding offends and is a lot of times put on the same scale with sexual nudity. We are one of the -only- cultures that has done this, and this oversexualization has made a lot women ashamed of their bodies and feel bad to be noticed for a very long time, concerned for being compared to a "whore". I can give references to this.
In Europe, you might see a woman breastfeeding in the park and no one would be upset, ever confront her, or anything. There would be no cause for offense because it is natural. It is a part of life like breathing or eating or walking. You see nude beaches all the time as well. This is because they don't see the naked human body as purely a sex object.
Can you tell me why breastfeeding an infant or even a child over the age of 1 would be offensive to anyone at all? What rational reason could be given for being offended at someone feeding their child in this manner? That question wasn't really rhetorical; I honestly want to know. I really can't think of a valid reason for taking offense to a breastfeeding woman.
As for being considerate. Do you think it's considerate that I have to go to a restroom to feed my infant at a restaurant while the food I paid good money for gets cold? Do you think it's considerate for me to alienate myself and confine myself from everyone else, not be able to enjoy conversation? Do you think it's considerate for me to get hateful looks for feeding my child?
Stacy says:
dollface like all your comments… well said
Stacy says:
To: Kristina W
"We live in a society that's so self centered and self focused that we zone out on everybody else around us and fight for our rights to make ourselves happy, our lives easier, our demands the highest. If something makes our lives a little more complicated, well screw that, I'm fighting for my ease regardless of who I trample."
SELF centered? how about baby centered? OURSELVES happy? how about hungry baby fed? OUR demands? baby's demands!
We are not as mothers trying to trample on other people. we are feeding our child! This is the kind of faulty thinking that makes me upset. It's not about ME OR YOU -IT'S ABOUT THE BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"So just *maybe* this breastfeeding issue isn't as deeply important to our futures as we're making it."
How do you know? Do you know what would happen if every baby in the entire world was given formula instead of the milk that it's mother produces- that is engineered naturally just for them? That's different in the morning than it is at night? That has all her antibodies in it that she then passes on to her child?"
it is of the utmost importance to me and to every mother that thinks nursing is the absolute best start at a healthy and strong immune system. It is to me because I think it's one of the most rewarding and bonding experiences I have with my newborn.
it is to me because I don't want to feed my child processed food
My husband reminded me today that I was given a very harsh vibe by a man while I nursed my 5 month old baby in of all places a historical building in Philadelphia, PA. We had just sat down for a short lecture and tour and the baby started fussing so I nursed her while my father-in-law tried to hold up a blanket the baby kept pulling it off her. I was in the back row and a man one row ahead of me kept looking back to give me the most disapproving look. Now I purposely took the back row to be away from the crowd and this man had no business looking at anything but the tour guide speaking. He made a big production of his looks and if he was just minding his business he would have never known what I was doing. If it bothers you- don't look- I wasn't in his line of sight. The man probably saw me as "disrespecting" an historical monument and I felt the opposite that this right to feed my child with my body was protected by the very laws these men created.
Take the photo of Finn above are you really offended by the boob? It could be a leg (granted a very odd shaped leg). What are we so offended by? Skin? the idea the baby is sucking on a woman's nipple?
I was at a small amusement park today and the sign near the bathroom said nursing station
I walked in and out of curiosity (I did not have a baby to nurse) asked where the station was- the attendant said "it's that chair". I wish I knew how to post a photo because you would see the weakest attempt at a "nursing station" I've ever seen right next door to a toilet. Yuck and yes I've nursed in a toilet before out of necessity but wouldn't it be great if your HANGUPS DIDN'T TRAMPLE OVER MY BABIES' RIGHT TO EAT?? ANd Eat without the smell of piss and s#$t around?
I've said it before and I'll say it again I've never known a nursing mother to use the act of feeding her baby as anything other than that. All those opposed make it sound like an audition for Girls Gone Wild.
Kristina W., your last paragraph is gold. Actually, your whole response is excellent, level-headed, and well-stated. You are just like every nursing mother friend I have ever had. Judging by some of the other responses, I suppose I should consider myself fortunate in that fact.
Kylie says:
Notice how your son has up his middle finger.
Michael Benton says:
Thank You Thank You Thank You! I'm so glad to see another dad actually post something like this. (My son thanks you also!)
I don't care what anyone thinks about breastfeeding. If it's time for Liam to eat then it's time for him to eat. I used to have a really uneducated view on breastfeeding. I was against it in public. I was against a lot of things. Then I actually read (a ton let me tell you) sites, articles, and educational material about it. My girlfriend is a huge child advocate, and I have her to thank for changing my outdated view on breastfeeding.
The fact is formula is not as good as breast milk (or the benefits of skin to skin contact for baby and mama both). I understand here are cases where a woman cannot breastfeed and this is when formula is a decent option. We have a family friend who had to use formula due to medical issues. I do think however that the only reason formula is pushed on nursing mothers in hospitals and some birthing centers is because the formula companies pay them and for no other reason. It's sad.
Anyways.. Thanks again for posting this!
Belldon Colme says:
Putting aside the anger for a moment… What is the leading cause of Obesity in America? Anyone who is paying attention will immediately shout "processed food!" What is the first introduction humans in America have to processed food? Baby formula.
Don't fool yourself here… baby formula is NOT the best food for infants.
Biologically this is a "well, duh" thing. This whole breast issue stems from misguided religious zealotry. Why do I say misguided? Because if you believe in God and creation, you must believe God created us the way he did for a reason, and that to act in opposition to the good He intended is not only unhealthy, it is sin. If you are a believer in evolution, you have even less excuse to object to breastfeeding.
As to discretion, every voice I am hearing here is weighing in one way or another on the discretion of mom. What about the discretion of the public? Is it discreet for a man to keep staring at a breastfeeding mother? I really think not. As a mom endeavors to be discreet for the sake of ignorant people who seem only to view her breast as a sex object, perhaps the general public might also show a tiny bit of discretion.
Just my two cents.
Belldon Colme
luis says:
"As a mom endeavors to be discreet for the sake of ignorant people who seem only to view her breast as a sex object"
My take on this (and my wife´s btw) is that she was discreet not for the benefit of others but her own, there is a difference
Amy Schuttler says:
Dear Charlie, I love you. And I thank you.
Breastfeeding Mama w/no tolerance for other people's bullshit.
zora says:
first of all: this photo makes me miss my daughter (who i have seen this morning and will see tonight).
i'm from germany where actually breastfeeding is promoted quite aggressively within the community that has to do with babies. in fact, mother's who choose not to breastfeed will excuse their decisions a lot because breastfeeding is so fashionable at the moment. outside of the baby-caring community, it is quite accepted (some malls have really nice bf-rooms with armchairs), but after a certain age of the baby, people will see you as "the mother that can't let go" if you don't wean your baby at at least 6 months of age. when i returned to work, i omitted the fact that i had to be at home by 8 p.m. because my daugther wouldn't sleep without me – but i work in advertising, maybe that's a bad example…
i was able to breastfeed fully until my daughter was 6 months old and weaned her completely only when we were both losing too much sleep over it after her 1st birthday (she wasn't able to sleep without nibbling me, weaning took one night, two days later she was sleeping through the night soundly without any breast-help.)
before we had our baby, i remember a situation at a party were a mom bf'd her baby in the midst of the party. i didn't really have a problem, but i also understood that it put at least my husband in a kind of uncomfortable place because, as he put it, he wasn't sure if he was supposed to look and compliment her on bf'ing or if he was supposed to look away to grant her privacy that she was obviously not seeking. so i have to agree with luis and michael grey: no problem with breastfeeding in public, but still after 14 months of breastfeeding, sometimes also in public, i think it shows also disrespect for other people if you don't at least consider in what situation you put them. when i would breastfeed my baby in a café or for instance if my father-in-law was around, i would use a cotton cloth to cover up. also because my daughter was easily distracted, but i mainly had in mind how i would feel if i was at a café and suddenly caught sight of some stranger's bared breast. or, as i am a woman and a breast is a more common sight for me, a penis or scrotum.
NO, you don't have to ask everybody around you if they are okay.
NO, you don't HAVE to use a cover if it makes the job hard.
NO, you don't have to be ashamed for breastfeeding.
but even as a mother, you are part of a society where certain body parts are usually covered and taking them out is a situation to be handled with decency. flaunting the fact that your baby is eating from your breasts in a "deal with it" way will get you reactions of the same kind, that is: if you don't consider the feelings of the people around you, they might not consider yours. if you can, try to be as nonchalant and private and relaxed about it the situation allows, is what i think.
to me, it speaks FOR the men that ask for this consideration: because they have the sense that your breasts, even if they are "working breasts", are a part of your privacy, which they respect.
anyway i think it is very hard to find "the right way" to do it in a general discussion. each situation of breastfeeding has a history that led to this specific situation, so who are we to say: you should ALWAYS… or you should NEVER… know your rights, but also be aware of those of the others.
luis says:
"NO, you don't have to ask everybody around you if they are okay.
NO, you don't HAVE to use a cover if it makes the job hard.
NO, you don't have to be ashamed for breastfeeding.
but even as a mother, you are part of a society where certain body parts are usually covered and taking them out is a situation to be handled with decency. flaunting the fact that your baby is eating from your breasts in a "deal with it" way will get you reactions of the same kind, that is: if you don't consider the feelings of the people around you, they might not consider yours. if you can, try to be as nonchalant and private and relaxed about it the situation allows, is what i think."
Luis says:
Lol I saw your post and the replies you got, mine was meant as support. It probably was the wording since I did not get any of the replies you got
Anyway as an unrelated point derived from some of the other posts i just wanted to add that a bathroom is no place for breast feeding and anyone making the "suggestion" is WRONG
Lauree says:
LOVE IT!!!!! Totally awesome!
anita says:
Love it! I'm from Argentina, here we call breastfeeding "dar de mamar" which is the perfect combination between the words "amar" (to love) and "mama" (mother/mom). I think this describes perfectly what'breast feeding' means for a baby and for his mother! ♥
Dbl005 says:
This issue about breast being sexual is the fault of many men and a heck of a lot of women. Example… Plunging, nearly exposed boobs, which scream sexual, NOT functional. Sadly, we live in a time of "gross entitlement," where people feel entitled to do as they please, anything they please, and no one better not express a negative opinion. Like the analogy of relieving ourselves mentioned earlier, it's necessary, those organs serve 2 purposes, but not one of you bf'ing parents would appreciate it if someone whipped it out to pee in public. There is so little modesty or class left, only people with entitlement issues. Farting is perfectly natural and very necessary, maybe next time we see a woman bf'ing in public, without exercising a measure of modesty, I'll get my husband to stand close and carry on with the other natural function of his behind!
Brian says:
Wow – to equate breast feeding with farting? My wife has breast fed all of our children (6), some have weaned themselves at 13 months, some at a little over two years. It is a natural act, a child eats because they are hungry. Yes – breasts can sexual, but they were designed for feeding. The only entitlement is for the one who is feeding (ie – the infant/young toddler). Why should they be made to take their dinner somewhere else, bathroom, bedroom where no one else is, etc. With our first child, my wife got up and left the room while we were visiting my grandparents, they both asked her to come back in and continue to visit. Both of our families were like that, and still are. The child is part of the family, and eats with the family.
Don't even try to equate nursing with peeing, farting, belching, or taking a crap. Totally different things.
Sarah Beth says:
It seems like all the anti-breastfeeding folks think that we're all just whipping out a completely exposed breast, when in truth MOST women exercise modesty. It's not because we are ashamed. I don't want people to see my breast and I don't want everyone else to be a part of a private moment with my baby. So it seems that the debate is between the two extremes: No BFing in public and complete exposure, when in reality most of us are somewhere in the middle.
Britt says:
Breastfeeding in public isn't the problem.. It's not even trying to cover your exposed breast to people around that are trying to eat and don't want to be staring at an exposed breast. They do make blankets to cover up with, be respectful of others.
Dollface says:
Which is more discreet, I wonder?
Quietly undoing a nursing bra/ exposing a portion of your breast and latching a happy, quiet, suckling infant…
Fidgetting with a flailing, wailing child under a nursing cover who desperately doesn't want to be covered up?
I wonder which would draw more attention to the situation at hand? Not to mention that covering a baby while nursing cuts off a lot of the mother-baby eye contact which is a big part of the experience.. especially
for baby (there are a few covers that attempt to help with this… none are very good).
abbby says:
Excellent picture!! love it!
Anastacia says:
I love breastfeeding. I bealieve that everyone that can do it should do it, its whats best for the baby so why not?! I breastfed my 2 year old till he was 6 1/2 months old then he didnt want it anymore. i am currently still feeding my 3 month old.
Kelly says:
I agree with breastfeeding. I unfortunately did not produce enough milk for my son and he was tongue tied. So I could not breast feed for long. So i did both for the first 5 weeks. xx
Les says:
I love the photo My boys would occasionally do the same thing (with the middle finger) and my husband would take it as directed toward him, "F-off, buddy, this boob is mine!".
I would from time to time get the hairy eyeball while I had the blanket draped over my shoulder. Funny thing was, the baby was usually just sleeping, nothing more. Effin idiots.
Matt says:
HAH! I saw this when you originally posted it a while back, and have seen it as it went viral, but only today did I notice the little guy giving the finger! Great!
Linda says:
Been following this discussion for a while, I hadnt planned to comment, but its reached a point where I just have to say something.
But first, thanks 4 having such a site. Its given my hubby n I such great advice and laughs. Keep up the great work.
If those of u that r insisting on modesty came to Africa, ur eyes would probably pop out. I mean that quite seriously. Coz in almost all countries here, breastfeeding totaly normal, and done wherever, whenever.
In fact, should ur baby get squirmish 4 whatever reason, u'l most likely be told to feed the child! By both men and women.
I've seen only very women use modesty covers. And would u imagine bf'ng even till 3yrs is acceptable?! I have a niece that would actualy demand that her mama sit down n feed her! (her mum had tried everythn to wean her off, but the girl wouldnt have any of it. She finaly just stopped all on her own a few weeks shy of her 3rd birthday)
As I was saying, for us bf'ng is very natural, hence no one would ever think 2 look at a bf'ng woman n think she is indecent. Never.
And I should point out that especialy in rural settings, (where most of the population is uneducated) the mother literaly lets the boobie hang out. The whole works. Yet not even the men get uncomfortable. I mean, like was earlier stated, they're 'working boobies' lol.
So, i guess it has to do with the society's mentality.
My thoughts on this, maybe if bf'ng was seen more (and I dont mean indecent exposure) it would stop seeming like a taboo.
With love from Kenya,
Go Team Suck it!!
Anna says:
there's a perfectly brilliant swedish word "ORKA" which pretty much means "to put energy into something". You can sarcastically say "ORKA!" to someone which pretty much means "really? ur putting ur energy on that?" (Or u shrug ur shoulders n say "eh, orka" meaning pretty much "why bother") Boobies are made for babies to eat from. It's as simple as that. I really don't see why it bothers ppl so much. ORKA! If my baby needs to eat I whip out a boobie and it's dinner time. I have so far actually not had ppl complain besides my brother in law who looks like a blushing 12 year old and gets very squirmy and awkward whenever my little one has to eat. I shrug my shoulders and say…yep u guessed it…"orka" and I feed my baby.
I don't remember this being an issue with my friends in Sweden and I agree with Linda I think even in Sweden most ppl would tell u "eh, just feed him!" if ur baby starts becoming squirmish for whatever reason….and I agree, if more ppl did it….it would be less of an issue….but I know…americans are ALOT more prudish. However, my husband married a swede so I'm gonna feed my son wether it's in front of my father-in-law, my husbands ridiculously prudish mother or 10 staring men at the public library. If little one needs to eat….he needs to eat.
Oh and for all ya boobie feeding ladies out there….a trick I do in my head to turn any "awkward staring moment" into something fun…..whenever I see someone awkwardly staring when I breastfeed my head immediately starts playing "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard……" that song totally becomes hilarious after u've started breastfeeding.
(AND……I ALWAYS carry a card in my wallet with my state's breastfeeding laws! It's a good SUCK IT to ppl who might bother you!)
Love from the swede over "here"
[...] hell is? This site is all about the lighter side of parenting, and on that note I present to you the greatest breastfeeding photo ever. Here is the second-greatest. /* Recent [...]
David says:
That breast looks… fabulous.
Ai says:
we don't get a lot of stares in Japan but all women here use a cover and won't go without one. I've nursed my baby from department stores to inside the train lol. If you girls have a ergo sling you can feed them in that too I just used the hood piece as a cover to hide her in public.
the only thing tho I have a mother in law who kept telling me to take my baby off of breast feeding. THAT was what made me furious.
Ai says:
oh love this pic btw!!
James says:
It's a tricky question. England is getting the prudish bug as the baby powder companies want to extend their reign. Recently a well regarded writer on women's issues came out and said, and I paraphrase: teeth arrive when a baby needs to eat food that needs chewing. The mother of my children said 'She's basically just declared she works for Nestle'
My partner is very 'Get over it' to ogglers and prudes.
I'm not into feeding them until they can drive, but jeez! We're turning baby powder imperialism into a matter of social mores. Breast feeding is natural, and a bit brilliant. Bottles are an alternative for those that need it. All the while my (breastfed) eldest son stands two inches above his peers, and is as sharp as a razor.
Crystalyn says:
This is beautiful :O) I have a picture exactly like that on my phone of my son! HA!
Sarah says:
So, I actually have the opposite "awkward public bf-ing" story than most people… I was at Starbucks with my mom, sisters, and a friend, and my DS was about two months old, and starting to get VERY curious about the world around him. I was relatively young and new to breastfeeding at the time, so I was proud of myself for actually working up the courage to do it in public.
Out of my own modesty preference, I was wearing a cover, but DS was having none of it; squirming, grabbing, etc. I finally got him settled and eating with the cover over him ans was chatting with my family, and I notice a little old lady sitting in the corner glaring at me. She gets up and starts coming towards our little group and I steel myself, thinking, "oh crap, here comes the boobie police…"
"Excuse me," she says, in a very heavy Eastern European accent, "but I was a pediatrician in my home country and you should not cover up your baby when you feed him! You have to let your baby breathe! And talk to him while he eats so he knows you love him!"
She was full on finger-shaking in my face.
I gave her a strangled smile and stared until she went away. My friend summed up the experience best: "….Well…. Awwwwwkkkk-waarrrd."
All that to say, you can't win for losing. Thank God my husband has always been very pro-breastfeeding and encouraged me to do whatever was most comfortable for both me and DH.
Tatiana says:
How you perceive a woman that breastfeeds says a lot about who you are.
We have deviated so much from our natural state that flashing a boob while bf is an issue in our society.
Saying you need a little heads up before someone bf, Charlie only shows you weren't around bf women much, growing up.
In Africa and other countries, this is something you just see all the time, ad know its a source of food, not only a sexual thing.
So if you see this as a child and continuously growing up, you would not feel werd even if someone flashes a boob unexpectedly, without warning.
Common people, its their only source of food!
And you need warning?
I would not delay my baby from a breast by one second, to give someone little warning, suck it up!
@Wolf_Mommy says:
Awesome post! I love seeing men supporting breastfeeding. You rock!
Christina says:
Love the pic and the post. I breastfed my first one, and I breastfeed my baby. I don't care where I'm at, if he wants it he's getting it.
I'm lucky that I live in a state that says where ever I am allowed to be, I am allowed to breastfeed, and can not be charged with indecent exposure should something be seen.
Breastfeeding Laws by State: http://www.ncsl.org/issues-research/health/breastfeeding-state-laws.aspx
Juan says:
Really? Those who CHOOSE not to breastfeed? How consumeristic… This is a child, not a consumer product or an accessory we're talking about, right?
Juan says:
I understand trying and not being able to, but choosing not to breastfeed from the outset?
Oh, Juan. Are you a woman?
Juan says:
No, not a woman, but my wife and I are on the same page about this. Not only that – my wife had tons of breastfeeding issues, so I understand when women just can't. We just think it's sad that women see it as a choice. Again, totally understand medical issues. Trust me, we understand, but we also kept going. FYI – I also know the can of worms that this issue is…:)
Lisa says:
Juan maybe you could have a think about why some women choose not to breastfeed. Mine is only one story, there are lots of reasons for that choice, but here goes…
In the end I did breastfeed my baby – yes, in public too – but as a survivor of abuse it has been a huge battle emotionally. I don't think you can understand unless you have been through it yourself, how hard it is to let a demanding, self-centred little someone have access to your body any time they choose, even when you are tired or touched out, even when they hurt you.
The ONLY thing that gave me the strength to keep going was my husband who said 'I know this is really important but you are important too, if you want to stop just say so and I will go buy a breast pump or some formula, whatever you like'. No judgement, no questions, he gave me back a sense of control over my own body. 13 months later we are still breastfeeding, and the knowledge I can stop any time I want still helps me get through the I-hate-breastfeeding days.
Please PLEASE don't judge women who 'choose' not to breastfeed. You cannot know what has gone into that choice.
Dave says:
Unfortunately my wife wasn't able to do this, we both wish she could have. All the same, it meant that I was able to share in the lack of sleep and getting up to feed our little boy, having my own bonding with him, and letting her get some rest.
You're a good man, Dave.
Alisha says:
I have a few pictures like this one of my daughter and me simply because I never want to forget this part of her life. She's almost 9 months old and of course eats solid foods now too, but her favorite thing to eat is still breast milk. I love being able to comfort her in a way that only Mama can. Nursing in public was really awkward for me at first, mainly because I always end up having to do it at church, but I just take her to the nursery and use my cover. It's no big deal, and everyone there expects it now. A lot of times, people just think she's sleeping.
Sophy says:
For some reason, I dont think those people (who doesnt approve of breast feeding in public) would be on a site like this… lol
Nice website! Greetings from Sweden
Stephanie says:
As a young mom I always felt shamed for breast feeding my baby girl. People made me feel embarrassed and like I was gross. But sadly due to that I lost my supply and I also couldn't keep up with my daughters feeding demands she was a hungry bug. But women have breast fed seriously forever. I don't why it should ever be an issue in the first place. What did they do before formula? People should be ashamed for not at least trying. I felt like less of a mother because I couldn't and in my town there isn't much feeding friendly places. (Also a lot of pervs). Glad people are starting to become more pro breast feeding.
Abbi says:
I am a mother of 3 who was never able to produce and breastfeed my children. I didn't want to formula feed, but while still in the hospital, even when requested, they never sent a lactation consultant, on 2 occasions. NO ONE showed me how with my first baby. The second baby,I tried, and ended up trying to pump but was only producing 1/2 ounce from both breasts combined per day. I saw a lactation consultant and she could not pump me out and basically told me there was nothing she could do, and to bandage myself with cabbage leaves so my supply would dry up. Buying someone else's breast milk was just entirely too expensive and not an option for us. THANK YOU for posting this!! We still need to bring awareness to those who have trouble and to make sure they get help if it's requested.
Abbi says:
I forgot to add, that with my 3rd child, we did not attempt to bf at all because of the stress it had caused with the last two children.
Cassie says:
I love that I happened to come across this article while breastfeeding my 3 month old son.
Amanda Jenkins says:
Congrats on your son! I too am glad to have found this article. I nursed my daughter until she was 20 months. It was heaven… Most of the time. I have an 8 month old son that I exclusively pump for due to cleft palate and feeding difficulties. Check out my website for bf articles like one about great apps to use and some parenting advice.
Andrew Garda says:
:pops monocle:
IN my day, why I *never*!
Seriously I don't know I ever had an issue with public breastfeeding—I certainly didn't after I had kids.
Anyway, great picture, great sentiment.
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