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During the recording process, the band shot a series of videos documenting their work on 'Deathless'. Today the band has posted the third video in the series. The new video can be seen HERE.Read More
Dublin's finest metal exports, Primordial, will release their long-anticipated new studio album, 'Where Greater Men Have Fallen', later this Fall via Metal Blade Records.Read More
Cannibal Corpse
A Skeletal Domain, the latest full-length from American death metal icons, Cannibal Corpse, debuted at an astounding #32 on Billboard's Top 200 chart, making it the highest charting record in the band's storied history!Read More
During the recording process, Revocation shot a series of videos documenting their work on 'Deathless'. Today the band has posted the second video in the series.Read More
Job for a Cowboy
Job for a Cowboy have wrapped up music and art on their fourth full length album, 'Sun Eater.' Along with producer Jason Suecof, the band have crafted a cerebral and accomplished piece of technical death metal.Read More
New Releases
Metal Blade TV
Upcoming Releases
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BEYOND THE SHORE set to tour North America with headliners Arsonists Get All The Girls
- January 29th, 2014 – Lexington, KY's Beyond The Shore are...Read More
BEHEMOTH launches "Ora Pro Nobis Lucifer" lyric video
- January 28th, 2014 – "The Satanist" to be released...Read More
SISTER premiere new video for track "My Enemy" off brand new album Disguised Vultures
- January 28th, 2014 – Swedish punk/metal act SISTER, whose new album...Read More
DESTRAGE debut "My Green Neighbour" video and launch pre-orders for their new album!
- January 22nd, 2014 – Milan, Italy natives, Destrage, have released a...Read More
BEHEMOTH unveils "The Satanist" prologue part 3 on BloodyDisgusting.com
- January 22nd, 2014 – "The Satanist" to be released...Read More
Battlecross to hit the road this March with Protest the Hero
- January 22nd, 2014 – Detroit, MI-based metal act BATTLECROSS is...Read More
Metal Blade Albums on Sale at iTunes
- January 21st, 2014 – Metal Blade Records has teamed up with iTunes to...Read More
MONTE PITTMAN New Album 'The Power of Three' Available Today on Metal Blade Records!
- January 21st, 2014 – "You may not yet know Monte by name, but...Read More


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The universality of the black 15in1 line is part of its appeal. From the Miracle Hair Treatment to the Miracle Hair Shampoo and Conditioner, the black 15in1 line is for all types of hair — from fine to thick, curly to straight, colored to natural and everything in between.
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Black 15 in 1 Miracle Finishing Hair Spray - 10 oz. (330 ml) (284 g)
black 15in1 Miracle Finishing Hair Spray is recommended for use after using black 15in1 Miracle Hair Treatment to keep hair in place for an extended period of time. Made with many of the same ingredients as the black 15in1 Miracle Hair Treatment, black 15in1 Miracle Finishing Hair Spray works perfectly for all hair types. Benefits of black 15in1 Miracle Finishing Hair Spray include maximum hold, satin soft touch, long-lasting brilliant shine, UVA and UVB protection, helps protect hair color, is humidity proof, helps to strengthen hair and reduces fly-aways. black 15in1 Miracle Finishing Hair Spray can be used on both wet and dry hair.
Black 15in1's Story
black 15in1 is a line of hair products that began with the black 15in1 Miracle Hair Treatment – an all-in-one hair product formulated to solve 15 key problems consumers have with their hair while making their lives easier at the same time.
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Gaynor likens the black 15in1 Miracle Hair Treatment to vitamins.
"It's not a product that you just spray on to make hair shiny. Actually, as you use the hair treatment over a period of time, you'll see a huge difference in your hair. It's a progressive thing that hair keeps reacting to while getting better and better." Likewise, the black 15in1 Miracle Hair Shampoo and Conditioner is packed with nourishing benefits.
black 15in1 Miracle Finishing Hair Spray was created to add a styling/finishing product to the line.
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Comments about Vestax Typhoon USB DJ MIDI Controller with Bundled Virtual DJ Software.:
Lets see, I have been djing for a couple years, I started with cdj's, carrying around cd's gets a little frustrating not to mention it becomes a whole jobjust to keep your collection in mint condition to avoid skipping. The Typhoon is a great item. I set it up in about 45min. Transferred my cd files and voila!! i was mixing better than I ever have with cd's.And the controller is just plain sexy with its sleek red n black design. I normally play clubs,bars,out in the park. So this is a piece of cake i just put it in my laptop bag and im ready to go. The price is unbelievable considering what serato itch,and some of the controllers cost about 3 or 4 times more. This does the job, and nobody in Philly has it either. I ordered it from Canada, I like exclusive stuff. Ive been checking [...],[...],and other music stores for months. Nobody has them. If you are fortunate enough to get your hands on one consider yourself lucky. I sure am. Typhoon rocks, and the software is cool too.
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(CNN) -- A veteran New York firefighter who darted into a burning high-rise building looking for trapped residents has died.
"New York City and the FDNY suffered a terrible and tragic loss when one of our bravest, Lt. Gordon Ambelas, died while trying to save lives," New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio said.
"We have lost a real hero tonight, and our hearts are heavy."
Ambelas was one of more than 100 firefighters who responded to the blaze in Brooklyn late Saturday night, the Fire Department of New York said.
Fellow firefighters found Ambelas' unconscious body inside an apartment, de Blasio said.
Ambelas was taken to Woodhull Hospital and was later pronounced dead. Two other firefighters suffered minor injuries.
The fire, which broke out on the 19th floor of a 21-floor building, was controlled in about one hour. The fire was determined to be accidental. The electrical cord of an air-conditioning unit where the fire started was "pinched between a bed frame and the wall," according to Fire Commissioner Daniel Nigro.
Ambelas, who joined FDNY in 2000, was recently promoted to lieutenant.
"I ask every New Yorker to keep Lt. Ambelas in your prayers, keep his family in your thoughts and prayers," the mayor said. "We are all very fortunate to have the men and women of the FDNY at the ready to risk their own lives so that each and every one of us can be safe."
Two firefighters killed in Boston blaze


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Some people who have gonorrhea do not have any signs of infection. You can pass gonorrhea to someone else without even knowing it.
Men might notice one or more of:
Women might notice one or more of:
In both men and women:
Both men and women can have a test for gonorrhea simply by giving a urine sample or by having a swab taken from the affected area.
For the urine test, it is important not to pee for two hours before the test is taken.
A test for chlamydia, which is often present when you have gonorrhea, can be done at the same time.
When you test positive for gonorrhea you and your partner(s) must be treated. A health care provider will prescribe two antibiotics that will treat and cure gonorrhea.
It is important to:
You may need to be tested after treatment if:
Everyone who has tested positive for gonorrhea should have the test repeated in six months.
You can expect to be contacted by a nurse from the health unit who will talk with you about the treatment and prevention of this infection in the future. The nurse will also talk to you about your partner(s).


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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
|Look up S&M in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
S&M may refer to:
- Sadomasochism, a form of physical role-playing
- S&M (Metallica album), a 1999 live music album by Metallica and the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra
- S&M (Le Shok album), 2001
- "S&M" (song), by Rihanna from Loud
- The Sodor & Mainland Railway, a fictional railway in The Railway Series media
- S&M Airlines, a 1989 punk album by NOFX
- "S&M", a song by Thin Lizzy from Black Rose: A Rock Legend
See also[edit]
|This disambiguation page lists articles associated with the same title.
If an internal link led you here, you may wish to change the link to point directly to the intended article.


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If you want any infomation or wish to discus your order please call
0161 8195031
Kiku Boutique. The art of Corsetry in the heart of Manchester.Burlesque, Wedding & Evening wear!
Kiku Boutique offer bespoke corsets, lingerie and clothing made in Manchester by our own designer.
As well as our classic ranges, we specialise in limited editions and one-off designs, but we prefer to tailor make a bespoke corset just for you. Which can include personalised embroidery. We have a free measuring and consultation service, so we can create a one off corset that will be as individual as you are.
At Kiku we have a passion for silks, and have an extensive range of colours and silk types for you to choose from.
Our aim is to create clothes you will love, with classic lines that are always in fashion. Our bespoke service means that we can design and create a garment that fits you perfectly.
Please call into the boutique at 100 Tib Street and talk to Lynn about your requirements. We are just a couple of minutes walk from Piccadilly Gardens, in the heart of The Northern Quarter where you will find a growing range of interesting shops.
If your looking for that extra special outfit, don't spend hours wandering around other shops. Come and speak to us and we'll endeavour to fulfil your wishes. We will be adding examples of our evening and bridal wear to the website soon, in the mean time talk to us in the shop about what you want.
If you can't make it to the store please call on 0161 8195031 to discuss your order or visit our online shop.
Latest News
July 2013
In the near future we will be celebrating our 5th birthday!
5 whole years of making beautiful outfits for beautiful people.
On Saturday July 13 we are attending the Alternative & Burlesque fair with our usual stall. But we are also giving away prizes because it's our birthday and we feel generous. The biggest prize is a share to win, for a bespoke corset! That you can enter on facebook by looking at this page.
We would also like it if you voted for us in the Manchester Vintage Awards this year, which you can do by visiting the link below and voting for us in the Best vintage clothing category.
September 2012
Well September is shaping up to be VERY busy for us!
Firstly we have the Alternative & Burlesque fair hosted by Heresy & heels which is held at Sound Control on New Wakefield Street just off Oxford Road near the Corner House.
Next up is a wedding fair being held at Room 4 conference Halls on the 23rd of September.
Which is closely followed by an ladies only event titled "50 shades of fun". Im sure judging from the name you will be able to tell the tone of the evening, but heres a kink anyway.
And another wedding fair being hosted in our good friends florists.
Why dont you and a friend treat your selves to a vintage make over photoshoot at Alt Studio. For £50 you both get a professional make over with the option to buy prints afterwards. Come and talk to us about booking a session.
May 2012
The 5 finger discount event has been CANCELLED! due to our nail technician being otherwise engaged. We will reschhedule and let you know when. Sorry about that :(
Firstly Kiku is holding an open night on the 23rd of May, this night is all about nails!
We have our friend Alex from Five Finger Discount, coming in for the evening to perform some nail art magic.
We will have a few drinks and nibbles on offer too. If you would like to come it would be nice if you told us but not essential.
It will start around 6:30 till 9:00
a link to some of her art is here
Five Finger Discount on Facebook
Speaking of facebook. We have recently kick started the local business page again, it's all so very confusing.
If you have already like us, thanks for that and if not please go and like our page.
March 2012
Well March kicked off witha bang!
The tattoo'd tea party was great, we saw plenty of smiling faces.
On Sunday March the 11th we have a stall at G Casino in Manchester, for the Retro Wedding fair
and also the fabulous Sukki Singapora is hosting another night of sophisticated burlesque at the Kings arms.
The flyer for this event looks like this
February 2012
Well February is turning out to be a busy month for us.
first up we are heading back to heresy and heels alternative market at sound control on Saturday 25th of Feb, which is evolving into a pretty interesting event. The flyer looks like this
Then we are off to a great weekend of tattoo action, at event city which is near the Trafford center. This 2 day event has a tons of stuff happening which is why we chose it, as our first tattoo convention to go to :)
Saturday 3rd of March and Sunday 4th.
Hope to see you all soon at one of these or just pop into the shop.


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Bull market or prelude to a bust?
The markets are nearing levels not seen since 2007 -- but let's not forget the crash that followed those highs. Conditions now look eerily similar.
There's a new exuberance sweeping the market. Major U.S. stock indexes are approaching new highs for the first time since 2007. The Dow Jones Industrial Average ($INDU) is flirting with 14,000 again.
The surge started after Washington compromised on the fiscal cliff, releasing a pent-up surge of buying demand as investors enjoyed a reprieve from budget worries, the eurozone crisis and other concerns. Also contributing: Japan's aggressive efforts to weaken the yen, which have added another central bank to the list of those abusing their currencies to pump cash into the system. Even retail investors are stepping back into stocks.
So why do I remain skeptical? Why not just throw in, set worries aside and enjoy the ride?
Because to me, this looks like 2007 all over again, with a burst of exuberance just before it all comes crashing down. Here's why I'm a doubter, and how to play it if you share those doubts. And if you don't? I'll suggest some areas worth considering if you're feeling cautiously bullish.
Party before the storm
Even as stocks crawl to new highs, there is growing evidence that this bull market -- now in its fifth calendar year -- has entered its terminal phase.
Late-stage bull markets are typified by explosions of sentiment, like the current rally. They're also marked by an erosion of economic fundamentals and a general postponement of disbelief, like we're seeing now.
In fact, the similarities between the current run and the 2007 bull market top are striking.
Anthony Mirhaydari
The gains in the major averages haven't been confirmed by rising trading volume, broad participation across the stock universe or gains in ancillary markets like commodities or emerging markets.
In fact, we're seeing investors moving out of economically sensitive sectors like basic materials and steel-makers and into less-sensitive defensive stocks like Procter & Gamble (PG) and health care issues. The move comes against a steady rollout of declining economic data, including terrible consumer confidence readings. We're also seeing ongoing confirmation that the fourth-quarter earnings season is likely to be a disappointment, tracking below expectations so far.
Yet all the negative catalysts are being ignored by the bulls, which is what we saw in 2007 and is typical of last-gasp rallies. There are also constant reminders that bullish exuberance is reaching historic levels.
Risks remain
People are ignoring the very real fiscal policy risks the U.S. faces over the next few weeks; yes, the debt-ceiling debate was postponed until May, but the "sequester" budget cuts and the need for a new federal spending plan hit much sooner.
We're also seeing rising resistance of inflation hawks at the Federal Reserve, the European Central Bank and elsewhere to the rich world's experiment with extreme monetary policy easing (which is growing increasingly ineffectual).
People believe Europe has been fixed. (It hasn't, and Germany is falling into recession.)
People believe 2% inflation will end Japan's multidecade malaise. (It won't.)
People believe tapped-out U.S. consumers and the nervous corporate sector will spend and invest despite the uncertainty, stagnant wages and new taxes. (They won't.)
People believe both earnings growth and growth of the gross domestic product will reaccelerate later this year, yet I see clear signs of lost momentum in both earning power and economic vigor.
Shades of 2007
Just look at the chart below of the 2007 market high.
Stocks peaked on Oct. 9 that year, at a time when conditions looked remarkably similar to how they look today. Stocks had suffered a double-dip in the previous year and had pushed over old highs set a few months prior. All was right with the world, and the market was going vertical. Bullish sentiment surged, and skeptics were dismissed.
Then, like now, hopes were high that an unquantifiable risk (the subprime problem) would be contained and papered over by the Federal Reserve. Then, like now, corporate earnings were under pressure from weak revenue growth and rising costs, but there was hope Chinese demand would compensate.
Then, like now, the market had separated massively from the economic fundamentals -- as shown in the chart below of the Citigroup U.S. Economic Surprise Index (which measures where the real data is coming in, compared with Wall Street expectations) versus the Standard & Poor's 500 Index ($INX).
People were lulled into a false sense of security by ridiculous, outlier data points that were later downwardly revised. Then, it was GDP growth estimates. In 2007, the bull market top was fueled by second- and third-quarter GDP growth estimates of 3.8% and 3.9%. This reversed a two-year deceleration in growth and confounded the pessimists.
Now, it's a drop in the unemployment rate driven not by job growth but by people leaving the workforce in disgust -- which is why the employment-to-population rate has fallen to early-1980s levels.
Within a year of 2007's rosy predictions,the economy was miredin recession. The chart below shows what happened to stocks.
After the dust settled, the government revised those 2007 growth estimates down to 2.5% and 2.2%. But of course, it didn't refund the losses suffered by investors who, in October 2007, wanted to believe Uncle Sam.
What makes me think something similar could happen now?
Most important, the stock market has disconnected from economic realities on the ground again, as shown below.
I'll add two more things:
- The CBOE Market Volatility Index ($VIX), a commonly used gauge of market unease, is finally showing signs of caution. A more obscure gauge of this in the options market, the Credit Suisse Fear Barometer, has been showing the same for weeks. Maybe the fog of irrationality and lingering good vibes from the fiscal cliff deal are ending. Whatever the cause, options traders are starting to worry about downside risk again -- and are paying up for protection from downside losses.
- Despite impressions to the contrary, fourth-quarter earnings season is turning into a dud. As of Jan. 25, with 47% of the S&P 500 reporting, earnings are tracking 6% below the $25.51 consensus estimate on Jan. 4. Of those companies that have reported, they've collectively missed the consensus estimate for their share of total S&P 500 earnings by 13%. Because of this, the 53% of companies left to report had better be bringing good numbers, or we could be looking at an outright drop in earnings per share versus last year.
So while we face the prospect of negative EPS growth this quarter, bottom-up Wall Street analysts (a traditionally bullish bunch) are looking for earnings growth to reaccelerate to a mind-numbing 23% rate by the fourth quarter of 2013.
That just won't happen. Nor is GDP growth going to reaccelerate to more than 3% later this year, as many economists believe.
Weak earnings. Weak economy. Fiscal austerity and political uncertainty. Higher taxes. Narrowing market participation. Weakness in industrial metals.
And yet, extreme bullish sentiment and one of the least volatile rallies in the past 40 years.
By all indications, the current surge is a blow-off top, just like the one we had in 2007.
I agree. Wall Street is disconnected from the prevailing economic conditions in this country. Easy money through fed/treasury policy has only stalled the inevitable, with interest, Todays unexpected GDP data is , yes, the fault of Bush, Tsunami, Europe, Sandy, etc.. This gig will be up soon enough. The market is trader and computer driven. Not investor fueled. The volatility has a lot more to do with Wall Street houses and hedge funds short term trading than investors. Outside large investment entities, most retail investors are out and into gold or cash.
I am no economist but in 2003, I kept telling a friend in the mortgage brokerage business that the free for all in that industry was headed for collapse. It took longer than I thought but didnt yet understand how it was being forestalled by political and cozy financial arrangements, and collusion between Wall Street and Washington. Remember Fannie and Freddie? they are still here and engaging in the same practices that contributed to the meltdown-as is Wall Street.
While the fed is still in denial, or deception mode, Joe Blow is curtailing spending, ACE manufacturing is moving to China and successful companies are hoarding cash.
Globally, there is still more than $175 trillion in derivatives that have to unwind.
Hang on to your wallets, politicians are after YOUR money.
Like Fat Cat, i started my trimming Monday and more today. Am considering something i never thought i would in over 20 years.... all cash and Gold. Any idea what happens when Obama/Bernanke end their printing orgy? They are printing at the rate of 1 Trillion per year in the bond market. That is staggering. The other end of that is our massive deficit spending and one will effect the other.
At some point, as mortgageAndDebtFree says, rates will go up and the bond markets will correct this for us. The bond market is MUCH bigger than the stock market and will take a dump. What we pay for debt will easily go from under 2% to 5%+ MINIMUM and the interest on our massive debt will top a Trillion per year. I fear this to be worse than the first, as the dollar will also crap out.
Inflation, Inflation and more Inflation will bring us down. With less money from the private sector flowing into the economy, which we all know this is what keeps it stable! there will be a big crash. The government has been building up a false wall economy that cannot support itself (no strong foundation). Look for higher taxes to come as this is their last resort to put a finger in a leaking dike. THEY ARE OUT OF FINGERS!!!
We are now one quarter away from a recession. Four years after the previous one "ended". Very similar to the 1930's when the 1937 recession came 4 years after the "recovery" in 1933. Then, as now, it was a jobless recovery with unemployment in the 15-20% range for all of FDR's first 2 terms despite unprecedented government spending. Apparently, failed policies do not improve with age.
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Strange isn't it...
Precious metals are up...
Stocks are up...
the US dollar is being devalued by the minute...
the Fed printing presses are running 24/7/365...
Our national debt clock is racking up debt faster than ever...
All H_ll is about to break out in the Middle East...
North Korea is about to test LR nuclear weapons...
And Obama says all is well in the Rose garden!
Bend over and kiss your as_ goodby as the big meltdown is imminent!
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November 8, 2006
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FYI I am a ruby developer
I'll be in San Jose tomorrow If you would like to meet. I'm also there for the weekend. Dave
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A one-person protest got a lot of attention in Waikiki Friday morning. Hawaii resident, Tess Meier, walked freely around one of Oahu's most popular beaches -- completely topless.
Meier is promoting what she calls topless equality, saying, "We believe that anywhere a man can be topless a woman should have the same right. Otherwise it's discrimination."
She is a representative of "ToplessEquality", an organization founded in 2012 to support acceptance of a woman's right to be topless if she chooses.
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I have this fuzzy but intense memory of jogging to and from my car to get something. What I was getting and where I was headed after aren't the important pieces of this memory. It's the feeling. I wasn't jogging because I was in a rush, but because for the first time in a very long while, I just wanted […] Read more »
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- Weight Stigma Awareness Week 2014 Starts Monday!
- 7 Ways to Stay Fit This Fall
- 7 Steps for Women Beginning a Yoga Practice
- Mindful Eating When Dining Out: Enjoy!
- The Binge Eating Diaries: I've Been Having An Affair
- Lost and Found – My Fitness Soul
- A Mindless Evening Leads to a Mindful Morning
- Memoirs of a Dietetic Intern: Understanding My Chaotic Eating
- The Life Lessons of Golf: What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger
- The Binge Eating Diaries: We CAN Just Do It!
Young Women's Program
Come learn how to start leading a life free of dieting and weight worries at our healthy weight loss retreat. Yes, it's fun, too!


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"Deep bird language is an ancient discipline, perfected by native peoples the world over. Finally, science is catching up. . ."
What The Robin Knows
A lifelong birder, tracker, and naturalist, Jon Young is guided in his work and teaching by three basic premises:
-The robin, junco, and other songbirds know everything important about their environment, be it backyard or forest.
Read More
Bird Language?
Interpreting Bird Language is an art form.
The calls, postures, and other behaviors of birds convey much information to those who understand their patterns. The attentive, trained observer can deduce through bird language the location of predators and other forces on the landscape.
Read More
- What the Robin Knows
Birds are the sentries – and our key – to understanding the world beyond our front door.
Read More
- How to interpret the Behaviors and Patterns of Nature
Would you like to be able to recognize the signs of an approaching jogger two minutes before their arrival?
Read More
- Advanced Bird Language:
Reading the Concentric Rings of Nature, a 8 CD learning journey with storyteller Jon Young.
Read More
"Jon Young is one of the heroes of the new nature movement, an expansion of traditional environmentalism who opens a door to a universe that overlaps modern life, a world lost to most, but found by some."by Richard Louv, author of The Nature Principle and Last Child in the Woods


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This fabulous banner was made by the one and only Mieke
Click here --> HERE!<-- to visit her banner shop!
In a place known to those who live there as Threchan: three societies reside. These societies are permanent, once born into one; there is no escaping its deadly claws. You must abide by the rules or be executed. There is no sympathy for those who disobey the law. Any breach of the law is considered heinous and will not be taken lightly. Those who obey will be reworded at the age of 82.
You are expected to obey.
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Hey everyone! I've gone through a plot change, but the preface still remains the same. This is the reason for my taking so long to post the first part of chapter one! I should have it done soon! Thanks for bearing with me!
*Pronunciation guide at the bottom of the reply*
Chapter One; Bonitans.
Part One:
Water leaked between my toes as I stared at the tree. The ocean was cool and calming against my skin as the ominous bark of a dog sounded somewhere in the city. The sky was a dark rose as the sun took its leave. The tree in front of me was bare and out of place; one, single oak tree in the middle of the beach. It shouldn't have grown there; it shouldn't be living near salt water. But it did. It resided here on the far side of the beach. No one bothered it, it often offered shade for those of us who were not permitted to be near the rich, popular crowd of the Bonitans.
Most didn't care that the Bonitans acted as if they ran the world, because in fact they did, but only cared about was how they knew they ran the world. In our simple little civilization on the coast of what used to a place called Florida. Now it was known as Threchan. Threchan is small community. None of us dare leave it though. The only thing that awaits us is thick tall trees and the army of the only other living civilization.
And besides, if we were caught trying to leave Threchan, it would result in our immediate arrest. I guess this is because they are afraid that we will get ourselves killed by the army of the only other living city, Muerten. But if someone wants to escape Threchan, arresting them is only going to make their longing to leave burn stronger.
Bonitans didn't seem to understand this. With their large houses, lush houses, dangerously good looks, and magnificent talents; they don't seem to have an understanding of the other classes. They can't comprehend the pain of having to hide in the confinements of your own home simply because you're too beautiful to be a Lavoraten.
Lavoratens. I always feel a pang of guilt when I think about them. This is simply because no one ever thinks about them. They are average. Not because they were born that way, but because they are forced to be. The middle class is known for their averageness; but also known for its rebellion, for its trouble-making nature, for its willingness to disobey the law.
Us Faiens, we don't rebel. We don't have the time to rebel, or the energy. The Bonitans work us to the bone.
"I really wish that you wouldn't fidget so much dear," My sister Anabel said, immediately reminding me of my grandmother. "Dear" was her nickname for everyone she came into contact with. "And stop biting your nails Joe," Her hand came towards me and swatted me thumb away from my lips.
"I'm sorry, I do it when I'm nervous." I answered her quickly.
"There's nothing to be worried about." She said, her knee bouncing up and down like a bobber in the middle of water. She was obviously worried too, but I didn't know whether it was because of the bill she had to pay after, or if it was the fact that we were at the doctors' for the second time this month.
"We could leave, reschedule." I offered, knowing that she would immediately turn me down.
"Of course we can't, Joe, we'd just have to come back in a week or so, rescheduling is just putting it off. And besides we're already here." She wouldn't look at me.
I knew what she was thinking. How come you weren't careful! Why did you go and have to re-break your wrist, now I have a second bill to pay for and can't afford it! I wished I could have told her that it wasn't my fault, that the tutor did it to me on accident. But I couldn't, I would only become a tattle tale, which would make her even more upset with me.
"Jolene Andrews?" Came the thick accent of a Bonitan nurse.
I stood up, feeling my heart speed up when the nurse looked at me with those sharp eyes that every single Bonitan seemed to have. "Right this way." She said, almost letting the door slam in my face. She was making it perfectly clear that Faiens were not welcome. But she couldn't say it allowed. Saying it allowed would break the law.
She led me to small room that smelled of medicine and bleach. "Let me have a look at your arm." Her voice was deadpan. She had no compassion for me at all. She nearly yanked it when I held it out for her. "Re-breaking your wrist was not a smart thing to do girl, we do not appreciate attention seekers." She said harshly.
I kept my mouth closed. Mouthing off to her would only get me thrown out while Anabel still had to pay the bill.
The nurse eventually just took an ex-ray with their fancy machine and gave me a sort of removable cast. It was the only thing we could afford. One of the nice ones that looks like your skin and allows you to move while broken were for the rich only. So I had a heavy, black, stiff glove that closed around my hand uncomfortably.
Anabel was waiting impatiently by the time I came out. She looked up anxiously as I walked out of the door that I went in through.
I thought I heard her mutter a "finally" under her breath.
She gave me a small but genuine smile as we left. She must have paid while I was inside.
"Do you want to stop and get something to eat?" She asked as we walked out of the office.
"No." I said quietly, trying to make the throbbing go away in my wrist. We couldn't afford to eat anywhere but home.
"Are you sure?" She asked gently.
I looked up at her and smiled. "Yep," I said lightly.
She nodded her head as we began to walk home. Bonitan cars buzzed by us furiously. There was no way that they were following the speed limits. There weren't any officers around to stop them, but it's not like an officer would dare pull over a Bonitan. Only Lavoratens got pulled over. Faiens didn't even have cars.
The walk wasn't long, but the heat barreled down on us, making it seem more miserable than it actually was.
We were both panting for water by the time we got back home. Anabel's fiancé was waiting for us at the door.
"Henry," Anabel said with a smile, walking up to him and kissing him on the cheek. He grinned and said something in her hear that made blood flow into her cheeks.
"Hello Henry," I said lightly and walked inside the steam box of our house.
James was sitting on the couch. He waved an absent minded hello at us as we walked in. He was drawing something on a scrap paper.
James was eighteen and the most loyal brother a girl could ever ask for. He was only two years older than me, so we were usually interested in the same things. We always had the same view on things, the same perceptions of the world. He was the only one I felt I could trust completely.
Not like Anabel. Anabel worshiped the Bonitans. She had a complete opposite view of the world from James and me. She loved how to Bonitans lived while James and I simply despised it. We found it frivolous and sickening while she found fabulous and saucy. The way they dressed, the way they talk with their thick accents, the way they did their hair, all of it was admired by Anabel.
But we never said anything to her about it. We let her have her own opinions. Besides, she was the eldest, she made up the rules.
James was eighteen now though, he could make his own decisions. But being eighteen also meant that you were now subjected to the government's every will. If they called you into do something, or to work somewhere, you had no choice. You had to go.
"I'm going to get started on dinner!" I called out from the kitchen. No one replied, but I knew that they had heard me. There were only a few rooms in the house.
Dinner wasn't much these days. We could hardly afford bread. I sliced some up and then went to the garden in the back yard. I pulled a few potatoes from their resting spot and went inside to cut them up. I would have to put the rest of them later.
I eventually ended up with a potato soup for everyone. I wasn't hungry though. All day a nagging feeling had been itching in her stomach. Something was wrong. At first I had thought that it was just going to the doctor's office, but now that they were done with that, I couldn't lay her finger on what was going on.
I walked into my room and lay down on my bed, the coils putting pain in my back. The ceiling was an off white color with that sharp popcorn stuff sticking out of it. I sighed and sat up, feeling my wrist moan in protest against my weight.
I looked down at the quilt on my bed. My grandmother had made all three of us a quilt before she passed away. Mine was the newest being that I was the youngest. Anabel didn't use hers anymore, afraid of damaging it.
I traced the intricate designs of the quilt squares with my fingers. There was something about this that calmed me. I smiled faintly, thinking of my grandmother and her endless plate of cookies.
"Aren't you coming to eat, Joe?" James asked me from the doorway, ripping me from my thoughts.
"Yeah," I said, looking up at him, even though I didn't want to eat at the moment.
Anabel and Henry were already eating and it looked as if James had already made himself a bowl. I turned to the pot to ladle myself some out when a hard, sharp, knock of a fist at the front door boomed through the house.
I dropped the ladle on accident, sending soup splashing over the side, burning my hands. I gasped and wiped them off on my paints.
"I'll get it," I offered when no one else did. A person knocking on the door was extremely rare, and when they did, it was most likely because they were bearing bad news.
I walked into the living room and to the door, after wiping my suddenly sweaty palm on my jeans, I opened the door.
"Is this the Andrew's residence?" Asked a tall, broad shouldered Bonitan man with is eccentric accent.
"Yes sir, it is." I said, forcing myself to make eye contact with him.
"I have a letter to James Andrews from the High Office." He said, holding out a thick envelope to me.
I took the envelope cautiously and said a clipped thank you.
He turned around and marched off of the porch and into his car. I watched him drive down the road, disappearing into a cloud of dust from the dirt roads.
"Who was it Joe?" James asked, walking up behind me.
"An officer from the High Office, he- he gave this to me. It's for you." I said, already dreading the envelope. This was it. The feeling in the pit of my stomach; it was all about this little envelope.
"Well, then I guess I should open it then, huh?" He said with a ghost of a smile.
He carefully tore it open and read the contents allowed.
After the first sentence, I felt my world begin to spin.
"Dear Mr. James Andrews, you are being drafted into the Army of Threchan. You are to fight amongst the rest of the Army against the suppressors of Muerten."
*Pronunciation Guide
Bonitan: boe-nee-tan
Lavoraten: law-vor-aye-ten
Faien: fay-en
Threchan: th-reh-chan
Muerten: m-where-ten
Hey everyone! So I'm SO sorry it took so long to get this up. I went through a plot change. xD I hope I was able to explain everything nicely. If you have anyquestions, please don't be afraid to ask!
Please leave your opinions and predictions! =D
-Claire J. Darling.
Claire! I loved this sooo much! Update soon missy!
I'll update this weekend Jasey! I promise! =D I'm glad you enjoyed it!
xD Yes I had meant to, it's more of a dialect thing. =) But thanks for pointing out what you thought may had been an error. =)
Thank Nikki! I'm glad you liked it! =D
Haha, I got that. I figured since you wrote that repeatedly that it was something like that.
This sounds soo intresting! OMG! Wow. I really like it. Your stories are always soo intresting!
Wow! That sucks that she had her wrist brokent! What James was drafted for the Army? That sucks!
Over all this was really good!
Certainly Tikki! =D
I'm glad you liked it!
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Some new faces will see plenty of mat time when Kettle Falls High School gets its 2011-2012 wrestling season underway close to home on Wednesday at Colville in a Jamboree with the Indians, Chewelah, Selkirk and Republic. Wrestling gets started at 5 p.m.
The Bulldogs of head coach Joe Kerns will be at the Liberty Tournament on Saturday (9 a.m. start).
As everyone gets caught up in the holiday fervor, it's important to remember our men and women in the Armed Forces who are sacrificing more than the usual luxuries that are associated with this season.
In an effort to provide a link between United States soldiers and their loved ones at home, the Statesman-Examiner is inviting the public to post a video message to a family member or friend in the military on the S-E website, www.statesmanexaminer.com.
It could be another interesting winter for Colville High girl's basketball.
The Indians, who finished 17-5 last season, lost five key seniors off a veteran club, but they return a solid nucleus of players and some promising newcomers that could pull some surprises in the competitive Northeast A League this winter.
Colville also returns a couple of familiar names and faces that have been actively involved with Colville girl's basketball for many years.
What is likely one of the most inexperienced girl's basketball teams in the Northeast 2B League (Bi-County) this winter will get the 2011-2012 season underway this week.
Kettle Falls High opened the season on Tuesday at the annual Chewelah Jamboree. The Lady Bulldogs will open their regular season on Thursday at Kettle Falls against Selkirk. Game time is 5:45 p.m.
KFHS will travel to Chewelah for another non-league date on Friday. Game-time against the Northeast A League member Cougars is 5:30 p.m.
Our loving Jeffy Cook was taken from us too soon at the age of 23. Born in Homer, Alaska on July 31, 1988, he moved to Kettle Falls with his family at age five and went to school in Kettle Falls and Colville until the age of 16.
He then moved to the westside of Washington, where he graduated from Darrington High School in 2006. At the age of 19, he got a job an Boeing where he remained until his untimely passing.
The Colville High School auditorium is empty, save for Gary Killings sitting at the Grand Piano in the center of the stage. He plays middle C, repeating the chord methodically as he adjusts the gleaming instrument's music pins to achieve the perfect pitch.
"I once had a little girl stand next to me for over 30 minutes while I tuned her family's piano," Killings recalls. "I was surprised that she just stood and watched me the whole time as I did just what I'm doing now. Then, finally, she looked at me and asked, "Don't you know any other songs?"
Another picture of Zac the staff cat? What can we say, besides that here at the Statesman-Examiner we love our pets. We know you do too. That's why you should go to http://www.statesmanexaminer.com/pets and check out the assorted cats, dogs and even horses photos from doting owners. Submit some photographs of your favorite pet online at our website today (pictures must be clear. S-E reserves right to publish).
John Melville a resident of Deer Park, and formerly of Valley, passed away on Nov. 19, 2011. He was 83.
He is the dear husband of Virginia Malek and the loving father of Cheryl of Chattaroy. His brothers are Robert Melville of Spokane and Gerald Melville of Valley.
John enjoyed numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Born in 1928 at Valley, John graduated from Valley High School (Class of 1944), and was a truck driver for many years with the State of Washington Highway Department and then was a slag hauler at ALCOA in Addy. He retired in 2001.
Olga Lydia Carter passed away on Nov. 20, 2011 at the age of 94. She was born on April 6, 1917 in Gifford, Idaho, the daughter of Henry and Meta (Stelljes) Dehning.
Olga attended school in Lewiston, Idaho, then moved to Rubens, Idaho where she met Eldon Carter. The two were married in 1936. Olga and Eldon moved to Colville in 1940, and she and her husband started a garage in the present Empire Auto Parts location in 1943. In 1946, Mr. and Mrs. Carter began construction of the building to house Eldon Carter Motors, a Rambler and Toyota dealership now known as Carter Toyota.
A longtime resident of Kettle Falls, Norman passed away peacefully at Sacred Heart Hospital in Spokane Nov. 7, 2011 after a brief illness.


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Eric Boulton
Bailey, Nilsson lead Islanders past Senators for second straight win
because of injuries. ... Defensemen Radek Martinek, Lubomir Visnovsky and Brian Strait, and forwards Kyle Okposo, Eric Boulton and Michael Grabner didn't play for the Islanders. ... The Islanders are 13-4-2 in their past 20 road games
Coyotes rout Islanders for second straight win
back end, as a group, it wasn't there," defenseman Thomas Hickey said. John Tavares netted his 13th goal, and Eric Boulton and Kyle Okposo also scored for the Islanders. Two nights after making 46 saves in a shootout victory over San Jose


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Dance at Bougival
Pierre-Auguste Renoir, French, 1841–1919 French
181.9 x 98.1 cm (71 5/8 x 38 5/8 in.)
Accession Number
Medium or Technique
Oil on canvas
Out on Loan
On loan to the Musée du Luxembourg, Paris; The National Gallery, London; and Philadelphia Museum of Art, "Paul Durand-Ruel and Impressionism", returning September 2015
The open-air cafés of suburban Bougival, on the Seine outside Paris, were popular recreation spots for city dwellers, including the Impressionist painters. Renoir, who was primarily a figure painter, uses intense color and lush brushwork to heighten the sense of pleasure conveyed by the whirling couple who dominate the composition. The woman's face, framed by her red bonnet, is the focus of attention, both ours and her companion's.


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Foam & cement: A look at construction
Don and Debbie Scherck are building a new 3,500 square foot house on Allan Street out of styrofoam and concrete using insulated concrete forms (ICF) made in this instance by Logix. General contractor is Mark McGary of Square and Level construction of Bellingham who has 10 years' experience building with this method.
The Northern Light's series on house construction runs for the next four issues and will update the progress McGary makes as the house takes shape, in addition to covering other topics.
These will include a look at an extensive remodel/restoration of an older home near downtown Blaine now owned by Tom and Pat Long and a cosmetic renovation of the main floor of John and Dolores Bennitt's house at Semiahmoo.
Long's house was built 102 years ago by a sea captain who made extensive use of birds eye maple woodwork, all of which is in its original condition and has never been painted. The remodeling will focus on the kitchen area, a truly old-fashioned layout in which the sink is in a large but narrow pantry off the main 11.5 x 12.5 foot main kitchen, probably to be near the freshwater pump that was once connected to a well beneath the house.
The main kitchen, despite its small size, also has five doors, two windows and a china cabinet made of old-growth fir that is embedded in the wall between the kitchen and the expansive dining room.
The Bennitt's house near the first hole fairway on the Semiahmoo golf course is a compact and fairly new two-story retirement home that doesn't at first seem to be a likely candidate for what's essentially a main floor face-lift. But once completed, the place seems transformed by the Bennitt's project primarily because of the skill of their contractor with both paint and woodwork.
That's all for future issues, though, so for now it's back to the Scherck's new house. McGary is sold on this construction method because it provides for quick building time and provides a very secure, quiet, well-insulated house that's impervious to insects such as termites and carpenter ants.
When McGary began putting together the exterior walls once the lot was excavated by Bob Cazabon, it looked as if he'd somehow opened a box of giant Lego's. Each module is four feet long, a foot and a half high and over a foot in width, counting the eight-inch space between the styrofoam sides, each of which are two and three-quarters inch thick.
"That thickness in the styrofoam lets you mount a regular electrical box without having to rout out a hole," said Scherck, "plus making for a bit sturdier construction."
The blocks are stacked on top of each other and taped and glued when necessary. "It is important," said job foreman Tim Hayes, "to be a little careful with the material. It breaks more easily than wood when it's being put together."
Walls go up about 30 percent more quickly than with a regular concrete wall put together with plywood panels and snap ties. "The drywall screws to the inside surface once the concrete's poured and the exterior siding screws to the outside," Hayes said, "and you never have a snap tie let loose."
Once finished, the ICF method provides an insulation value of R50, almost three times that of a conventional wooden wall's R19. It's got a three-hour fire rating as opposed to 15 minutes for a wood framed wall, and provides a superior vapor barrier that doesn't require air spaces, so you get better insulation without the sweating and trapped interior moisture common in wood frame walls, which no matter how well built always seem to leak somewhere.
Inside a wood framed house one usually hangs heavy objects like kitchen cabinets and appliances by screwing them to studs set 16 inches apart inside the wall. A wood screw in a wooden stud will securely hold about 100 pounds, Hayes pointed out, and in an ICF system mounting screws go into an embedded plastic backing about two inches wide set on eight inch centers. "They won't be quite as secure," he said, "so we use more of them. But basically you can put things pretty much where you want to."
Part of Scherck's ICF walls will be below grade, and for that McGary will protect the exterior styrofoam with an impermeable barrier, essentially a rubber sheet, because styrofoam in contact with the ground must be waterproofed. That's still an improvement over wood, as some builders feel that sooner or later any wood in contact with the soil will decay.


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Shipping rates rise in 2013
UPS, FedEx and the US Postal Service are all charging more. If you want the best rate, here's what to consider.
This post comes from Louis DeNicola at Cheapism.
You may have heard that stamps will soon cost an extra penny, but the price of sending a package is creeping up even more, no matter which major provider you use.
Since Cheapism published its report on cheap shipping options ahead of the holiday season, both UPS and FedEx have raised their rates -- about 5% on average.
The U.S. Postal Service is poised to follow suit, with price hikes averaging 6.5% for Express Mail, 9% for Priority Mail, and 21% for Standard Post (formerly Parcel Post). When these new shipping rates take effect on Sunday, the Postal Service will still undercut its private competitors in most -- but not all -- cases.
UPS was the first to start charging new shipping rates, with increases of 5.9% for UPS Ground and 6.5% for UPS Air, effective Dec. 31, 2012. The company tempered the hikes by reducing its fuel surcharges, resulting in an average net increase of 4.9% for ground shipping and 4.5% for air service.
FedEx followed on Jan. 7, increasing rates an average of 5.9% and cutting fuel surcharges by 1 percentage point for FedEx Ground and 2 percentage points for faster FedEx Express deliveries.
When all is said and done, FedEx -- which matched UPS down to the cent for most services when Cheapism compared rates last year -- comes out ever-so-slightly cheaper than UPS, and both continue to trail the Postal Service in almost every case.
Notably, the private couriers now barely beat out the Postal Service in two scenarios from Cheapism's original shipping comparison: ground delivery of a 10-pound package to Chicago or San Francisco from New York City. (You can find more details about those shipping scenarios here.)
Even then, however, if the contents of the package fit into one of the Postal Service's flat-rate boxes or qualify for Media Mail service -- reserved for items such as books and DVDs -- those are easily the cheapest methods. Under the new shipping rates, Priority Mail Flat Rate shipping, a two- to three-day service, will go up 45 cents for small boxes, $1 for medium boxes, and $1.40 for large boxes. But the cost is the same regardless of how much a parcel weighs or where it's going. The Express Mail Flat Rate price will hold steady at $39.95 for overnight delivery.
In addition to cost, Cheapism's 2012 report considered factors such as reliability, customer service, convenience and extra services included in the price. FedEx and UPS offered the notable benefit of delivery tracking for all their services, while the Postal Service provided free tracking only for Express Mail. Now the post office will extend that service to Priority Mail and Standard Post as well.
However, with the agency on course to run out of money as early as October by some estimates, something else may have to give. A proposed cut to Saturday delivery is perennially on the table, and the chairman of the Postal Regulatory Commission has told Reuters that rapid cost-cutting measures could compromise service.
More on Cheapism and MSN Money:
- What is the best time to buy what?
- Shipping cost comparison
- Usher in the new year with the best diet apps
- 5 stores with great return policies
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Women's Socer Falls To Monmouth, 1-0, In NEC TournamentNEW BRITAIN, Conn. - The Quinnipiac University women's soccer team lost to Monmouth University, 1-0, this afternoon in the first round of the Northeast Conference Tournament hosted by Central Connecticut State. With the loss, the Bobcats end their season with an 8-7-2 final record with a 7-3-1 position in the NEC. The Hawks improve to 14-4-1 on the year, with a 9-1-1 stance in conference play. With the win, Monmouth advances to the Northeast Conference Championship game that will be played on Sunday, Nov. 8, at 1 p.m. The Hawks will take on tournament-host Central Connecticut in the final game, as the Blue Devils defeated Long Island, 1-0, in game one of the semifinals.
"We're disappointed to lose," said head coach Dave Clarke. "We got punished on a mistake, and we didn't take the chances when they came. We played quite well, but we just ran out of gas getting caught up with players who had illnesses or injuries. Overall, I think we did well to stay in it until the end."
The Bobcats saw a few opportunities to score in the first half, taking two legitimate shots on net before Monmouth scored the opening goal of the game. Both Bobcat opportunities came early in the first from freshman midfielder and NEC Rookie of the Year, Jillian Strassner (Avon, Conn.). Strassner saw two chances to tip a cross into the corners of the net, but both shots ricocheted wide out of bounds.
The Hawks scored the lone goal of the game in the 35th minute of play to earn the 1-0 lead. Midfielder Courtney Snyder collected the ball at midfield and lobbed a pass to junior Mary Wilks outside the 18-yard box. Bobcat goalkeeper Biz Cook (Appleton, Wis.) was out of the net to challenge Wilks, where the forward lifted a shot over Cook's head into the lower left corner for her 12th goal of the season.
Quinnipiac saw two more solid opportunities to score from junior Meagan McLoughlin (Rocky Hill, Conn.) and sophomore Furtuna Velaj (Stamford, Conn.) in the second half. McLoughlin took a hard shot from inside the 18-yard box in the 47th minute of play, but her blast moved right into the hands of the Monmouth goalie to keep the Bobcats off the board. In the 71st minute, Velaj's shot came from the left inside corner of the 18-yard box where the forward wrapped around a Hawks defender and ripped a shot that went inches wide of the left post.
Monmouth's strong defensive back line, anchored by NEC Defensive Player of the Year Ali Kliment, held Quinnipiac to seven shots in the game, with Strassner leading the Bobcats with two. The Hawks' goalkeeper, Lia Fierro, made one save in the game while Cook recorded three saves for the Bobcats in the loss.
Quinnipiac wrapped up the 2009 season with an 8-7-2 overall record and a 7-3-1 stint in the NEC. The team's regular-season play earned three players, Strassner, Velaj, and Hanne Walleck (South Glastonbury, Conn.) All-Conference honors as announced at the NEC banquet on Nov. 5.


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Discussion of 1990's college radio music and any subjects associated with such
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Jason Aldean is up for a few CMA Awards Wednesday night, but he's got his eye on the top prize -- Entertainer of the Year. After the success of his Night Train tour and album this year, Jason feels he has a real shot at taking that trophy home.
"Any time you're in that category and have a shot at that one is pretty special," Jason says. "That's one that's kind of, to this point in my career, has kind of eluded us so far. So, if there was one I would like to get before my career is done, it'd be that one."
Even if he walks away empty-handed, Jason knows he'll have a good time with his fellow country stars at some of the after-parties.
He says, "CMAs obviously are a big one for us here in Nashville. It's kind of the last big party of the year for everybody."
Jason will perform on the 47th Annual CMA Awards Wednesday night at 8 ET on ABC. He's also opening up about his recent split from his wife, Jessica , on the ABC special In the Spotlight with Robin Roberts , airing Tuesday night at 10 ET.
Copyright 2013 ABC News Radio


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"Skyler. All the things that I did. You need to understand – "
"If I have to hear one more time that you did this for the family – "
"I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And…I was…really…I was alive."
"Felina" may be the most anticipated episode in Breaking Bad history, but it is not necessarily the first 'series finale' the show has produced. Both the Season 2 and Season 4 conclusions, "ABQ" and "Face Off," could easily have served as spectacular send-offs, as each expertly culminated upon everything that had happened up to that point, and brought closure – either literal, thematic, or both – to the story and characters.
"ABQ" saw Jesse's life utterly destroyed by Walt's actions after the death of Jane, featured Skyler finally calling Walt on all his bullshit, and ended with Walt's many sins becoming personified by two planes colliding in midair, right above his house. Had the show ended there, we would have been robbed of three all-time great seasons of television, but there would be no regrets as to the power of the conclusion.
"Face Off," it goes without saying, was the grand final showdown between Walter White and Gus Fring, and in addition to being the single tensest and most nail-biting hour the show ever produced – climaxing, of course, in the eponymous bit of iconic, shocking violence – it also brought closure to nearly every ongoing story arc, left Jesse at a place of relative peace and stability, and completed Walt's transition from mild-mannered chemistry teacher into all-powerful drug lord.
Both episodes are, I think, better hours of television than "Felina." They are more emotionally affecting, more ambitious in scope, and filled with more all-time great moments that will forever stand tall in the TV drama pantheon.
Yet neither, I contend, is anywhere near as good an ending to the show that was Breaking Bad as "Felina." And while there are many equally valid reasons for this – the general atmosphere of darkness and desolation, the self-reflexive quality of Walt's final journey, the note-perfect send-offs given to Skyler and especially to Jesse, etc. – the one that matters most to me concerns the core emotion I felt while watching the show's final minutes unfold. It was not the emotion I expected to feel before the episode began, nor after the majority of it had unrolled. It wasn't sadness, or distress, or disgust, or fear, or tension, or even visceral exhilaration. I felt all these things and more watching "Felina," and each, certainly, is a core emotion I will forever associate with the Breaking Bad experience. But the one that hit me hardest, and the one that has lingered with me most in the time since the final credits rolled, was something entirely different, though no less connected to the core of Breaking Bad.
It was laughter. Wild, raucous, all-consuming, uncontrollable laughter.
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As I sat watching the final moments play out, with a bleeding, dying Walter White walking through the Nazi meth lab, the slightest hint of a smile on his face as he spent his dying moments in the one place he ever truly felt alive, I could not help myself – I broke out laughing, and it was the use of the Badfinger song "Baby Blue" that really sent me over the edge. Listening to this immensely cheesy, completely overblown love song play out over Walter White's dying moments, watching in awe as Vince Gilligan boiled down the entire arc of his all-time great television series into a strange, perverse, utterly pathetic 'romance' between a man and his meth, I found myself laughing harder than I have ever laughed at this series. Maybe as hard as I have ever laughed in my life.
Part of my unstoppable laughing spasm stemmed, I think, from the simple 'release' that ending provided. "Felina" is a quiet episode, a slow and methodical one that takes its time putting everything in place, but it is also an incredibly tense one, not quite so much as "Face Off," but similar in how it keeps the viewer wound as tight as possible even when very little is happening on screen.
Is Walt going to kill Gretchen and Elliot? What exactly is Walt doing meeting with Lydia and Todd? Does Walt have something nefarious in mind for Skyler? How is this final standoff with the Nazis really going to pay off? Is Jesse going to kill Walt? What will Walt do now that Jesse has driven away? The viewer watches with gradually mounting pressure as all these moments unfold, right up until Walt steps into that meth lab, "Baby Blue" kicks in, and 62 episodes worth of tension snaps, like a rubber band breaking in one's face. And I couldn't stop myself. That sudden lack of tension, and the crazy feeling of whiplash it induced, forced me to burst out laughing.
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Yet moreso than that, I laughed because that final scene plays out like a perfectly delivered punch line. "Felina" is, up to and including that point, all about Walter White writing his own ending to his life's story. It is different than any television finale I can recall, because unlike the characters of most stories, Walter White knows his time is up. He is just as intensely aware as the audience that this is his final hour, and that these are his final actions, and that his legacy will be set in stone by these final choices he makes.
The entire time, he is looking for the perfect ending, just the same as the fans. First, he thinks manipulating Gretchen and Elliot to deliver the last of his money – which still amounts to a pretty massive fortune, over ten times more than his original Season 2 goal of $747,000 – is the right way to cap his journey. Then, upon hearing his beloved blue meth is still in circulation, he chooses to extend his plans, because letting someone take credit for his signature product is patently unacceptable. So he takes out Lydia with ricin, and devises to infiltrate the Nazi base with a hidden machine gun, and says goodbye to Skyler along the way. His strategy works, and with the Nazis dead, he chooses to let Jesse go, and even give Jesse the option to kill him, which seems like a fitting ending. But Jesse declines.
So what does Walter White do with his final moments of life? Where does he decide to go to take his final breathes? Where does he wish to leave his final, blood-stained mark on this Earth?
He goes to the meth lab. And dies with a smile on his face, as these lyrics play:
"Guess I got what I deserved/kept you waiting there too long my love,
All that time without a word/Didn't know you'd think that I'd forget.
Or I'd regret.
Special love I had for you … My baby blue."
And all I could do was laugh, because that is an absolutely hilarious way to end the series. To all the world, Walt dies the most pathetic death imaginable. A dirty, hideous murderer, lying dead on the floor of a meth lab in a Neo-nazi compound. He dies as nothing more than a common, two-bit criminal, and many of his actions throughout the episode – hijacking a car, hiding in the shadows at Gretchen and Elliot's, buying a machine gun, poisoning Lydia, gunning down his enemies, etc. – are not those of the great and powerful Heisenberg, Emperor of meth, but of an absolute low-life.
Yet in his own head, Walt dies happy, exactly where he wants and needs to be – with all his enemies decimated, his family taken care of, and surrounded by the beautiful meth equipment that gave him purpose in life. It is, as I said, the punch line to the entire series, with the entirety of this complex, sweeping, harrowing six-year tale summarized as a corny teen 'romance' between Walter White and his meth.
And I could not love that ending any more if I tried.
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I write these reviews in a vacuum, without looking at anybody else's reactions to the episode in question, so I have no idea whether or not any other viewers found the conclusion as side-splittingly funny as I did. Doesn't matter. I laughed uncontrollably at that final scene, and it could not have felt more fitting to me as a longtime viewer of the show. Because while Breaking Bad is many, many things, it has always had a darkly comic core, and though there has hardly been any humor in these last eight episodes – understandably so, given that the power of this final season came from seeing Walter White's crimes taken to their natural, horrific endpoint – it felt unspeakably right for that humor to return in the show's final minutes.
This is especially true when one considers exactly how humor functioned over the life of the series. Breaking Bad was often compared, in its early years, to the works of the Coen Brothers, and that is an apt comparison, because this story, like many told by the Coens, is rooted in the notion of crime as something 'absurd.' And many crimes are absurd, when you get right down to it, even as they are also terrible and disturbing and life-destroying. Walter White's sins hurt many, many people, including those he loved the most, but to properly study the scope of his transgressions, we must also be willing to admit that there is something inherently funny about what he did. A middle-aged Chemistry teacher, stricken with cancer, choosing to cook meth to earn a living for his family? That's funny, as are many of the actions he and Jesse took after making that fateful decision. And while Breaking Bad could alternate brilliantly between soul-crushing darkness and riotous black comedy, those two tonal realms never existed separately. They are two sides of the same coin, and Vince Gilligan is a great writer in large part because of his ability to analyze a criminal life such as this holistically, never pulling a single punch in the tale's darkest moments, but also allowing the brevity to surface when the absurdity rose naturally to a fever pitch.
This is why I love that final scene so much. On one level, it is very dark, and I can easily understand someone walking away feeling disturbed, rather than laughing like a maniac. Trust me, even as I did the latter, I absolutely felt elements of the former. But that humorous side does exist, and it is intentional, and it is just as organic a part of the Breaking Bad story as the incredibly dark material immediately preceding it. Because by allowing us to laugh at Walter White, to see him for the pathetic, insular man he truly was and find humor in his lonely, deluded death, we take away his power, just as laughing at the absurdity of crime helps to reduce the sway those crimes hold over us – and, by extension, understand it better. If the series ended with Walt getting murdered, or going out in a blaze of glory, or any number of the other 'serious' ways it could have ended, Walt would have retained at least a modicum of his power. But because he dies smiling in a meth lab, accompanied by the sounds of a corny love ballad, he is exposed for what he truly is: Sad, pathetic, and, yes, funny. Not on his terms, but on ours.
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But enough about Walt, for the time being. I have no regrets whatsoever in devoting 2000 words to the final scene, but "Felina" was excellent throughout, and there are plenty of other topics to touch upon before saying goodbye to this great, great show.
As noted before, this was a highly reflexive ending, with Walt's knowledge of his own impending demise coloring not only every aspect of the hour, but the specific ways in which supporting characters were sent off. Nearly every major (surviving) character earned some form of 'poetic justice,' and while that could easily come across as a tad too contrived or tidy, I feel it all stems naturally from Walt's self-aggrandizing desire to end the story on his terms. So when it comes to Gretchen and Elliot, for example, Walt does not kill them, but forces them to carry out his will, not only using them as a means to an end – whether Walt Jr. wants it or not, he will have that fortune soon enough – but making them submissive and cowering in the process. Whatever they say about Walter White in public, Gretchen and Elliot will now be forced to do his bidding in private, and live in fear of him for the foreseeable future (even though they will likely hear of Walt's death on the news, I assume that encounter will keep the two shaken for a long time to come).
For Lydia, Walt uses his knowledge of her obsessive-compulsive habits to poison her with the ricin, and for Uncle Jack and the Nazis, Walt unleashes the same heavy-weapon hellfire they directed towards Hank – and in the process, wipes out everyone who had been peddling his precious blue meth.
For Skyler, Walt just wants to say goodbye, and to help in some small way to clean up the mess he left her with. It is one of my favorite scenes in the history of the series, operating on several different levels – Walt's legitimate guilt versus his drive to end this relationship on his terms, Skyler's hatred for this man mixed with the grief over the love she has lost, etc. – and building to the absolutely devastating exchange – "I did it for me" – quoted above. This is most likely something Walter White has been thinking for some time – ever since Hank's death, with plenty of time to mull it over in the cabin – but for Skyler, it is a revelation, not because she can't see Walt's selfishness on her own, but because hearing him say it does allow for some small measure of closure. Skyler will always be scarred by what her husband did, and probably never fully recover from the horror of these past two years, but she is an immensely strong person, and especially after hearing Walt finally give a straight explanation for why he did what he did, I do believe that she will be okay in time.
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As for Jesse, the future is far less clear – few people have endured the sheer number of horrors he has – but where I firmly believed, a week ago, that Jesse could never survive this finale, I am now amazed at the emotionally uplifting note Gilligan and company chose to end his story on.
Earlier today, in preparation for the finale, I was watching the show's all-time best episode, "One Minute," in which, among many other eventful happenings, Jesse is hospitalized after taking a beating from Hank, and finally, near the episode's conclusion, confronts Walt on what a poison he has been from the beginning. It is a defining scene for Jesse, because for the first time, he is full cognizant of just how manipulative Mr. White has been, and just how much he has suffered as a result of their partnership. Jesse is truly strong in that scene, stronger than ever before, but ultimately, he is too weak to walk away, too weak to fully extricate himself from Walt's toxic orbit.
And that, in a nutshell, is Jesse's arc – I believe he is a good person deep down, but he is not completely a victim in everything that has happened. He knew, at least from that scene in Season 3, what a destructive force his partner was. And he could have walked away there, or any other number of times before and after. But Jesse was too weak to walk away, too weak to reject his surrogate father, and in the end, too weak to stop horrible things from happening to those he loved the most.
The brilliance of "Felina's" climactic scene, then, is how it tests Jesse's strength point blank. Walt drops his gun. Jesse picks it up. "Do it," Walt urges. "You want this." Like always, Walt is tempting the boy – giving Jesse the option to do further evil for his own selfish benefits. And after all he has been through, Jesse can finally understand this. "Say the words. Say you want this. Nothing happens until I hear you say it." Jesse cries. He probably wants to kill Mr. White more than anything in the world, but he knows that if he does so on Walt's terms, then he will forever be Heisenberg's prisoner.
"I want this." Walt admits. And that is all Jesse needs to hear. However hard it is to walk away, he knows he cannot give in to Walt anymore, not even to get revenge. So he drops the gun, and drives away, laughing and crying hysterically while he does so (a similar emotional 'release' to what I felt watching the subsequent final scene). Whatever happens next, Jesse is finally 'free,' in more ways than one, because he finally said 'No,' to Walt, finally refused to do Mr. White's dirty work, and finally proved himself the bigger, better man by rejecting the opportunity for revenge. I think many will read Walt's actions in that scene as guilty or apologetic, giving Jesse the chance to kill him as a way of setting things right, but I strongly feel that what Walt did was purely sadistic. Like telling Jesse point-blank about Jane's death, it is a way of sticking the knife in further; Walt will get the death he wants, and Jesse will be destroyed even further in the process, caught indelibly in a circle of violence.
But Jesse rises above that violence, something he always had the potential to do, and while the chances of him having a normal, healthy life after this are extremely slim, Jesse does have a future. He is free, for the first time since the pilot. What happens next is a mystery, but that Jesse's future is no longer set in stone is, in and of itself, a minor miracle. He does not have to be shackled by the horrors of his past. He can move on, if he is able and so chooses, and he can have a life outside of Walter White. It is not where I predicted we would leave this character, but I could not be more satisfied by the resolution he received.
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And so it goes for Breaking Bad as a whole, which ended about as perfectly, to my mind, as it possibly could have. This was a reflexive episode for a reflexive series, a story about a man who, from the very first episode, wanted to forge his legacy on his own terms, cooking crystal meth and committing increasingly unspeakable crimes in an effort to be the arbiter of his own fate. In the end, Walter White ultimately got what he wanted – an ending he dictated himself – and yet as "Felina" makes clear, through its own reflexive structure and beautifully comic ending, the image Walt built for himself, and the story he tried so hard to construct, was never as grand as the one he had in his head.
This show could have ended in so many ways, and at so many points – including this season – but I am overjoyed it ended here, on a complex note that encapsulates, to me, everything that Breaking Bad was about: The mixture of darkness and absurdity in everyday life; the distance between self-perception and outward image; the self-fulfilling drive of criminal actions; the weight of consequence, and how we react when we feel it settle in; and perhaps most interestingly to me, the nature of storytelling as something we all engage in to justify our own failings and transgressions, and how the narrative webs we weave for ourselves (and all the characters, not just Walt, try weaving for themselves at one point or another over the life of the series) are as delusional and destructive as they are inescapable.
And on a production level, "Felina" was a fabulous tribute to the amazing performances and craftsmanship that built this wonderful show. Bryan Cranston, Anna Gunn, and Aaron Paul each delivered some of their very best work to date. Dave Porter's original music was hauntingly beautiful throughout. Michael Slovis' cinematography was, as always, immaculate. Vince Gilligan's direction was precise, controlled, tense, and effective, his writing sparse and powerful.
In short, Breaking Bad left the television landscape reminding us why it left such a big impression in the first place. This was bold, zany, audacious, intelligent, emotional, and exhilarating television, one of the finest programs ever to air on TV, and one of the great pieces of modern American fiction. "Felina" did not need to be as good as it was to ensure that legacy. But Breaking Bad nearly always went the extra mile, and here, at the very end, I might even say that legacy was heightened for me. For in making me laugh, unexpectedly and uncontrollably, "Felina" reinforced what an endlessly rich piece of fiction this was, putting Walter White's story in perspective even as it guaranteed this tale as one I will never forget.
Be sure to check out our companion piece to this review: 6 Outstanding Moments From The Breaking Bad Finale. And thanks to JoBlo for creating the excellent tribute video shown above.Previous


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Master WOD Archive 6.18.12 to 6.24.12
The beginning is the most important part of the work.
- Plato
No matter how advanced you think you are now, you were once a newb – don't forget it! Tomorrow, take the time to encourage someone just starting out on his or her fitness journey. We know the Workout of the Day (WOD's) can get intimidating at times, so here is one geared for those just beginning to train.
Set aside 30 minutes of time for FITNESS and commit. No distractions, no phone, no excuses. Just keep moving forward and keep your heart rate up as you move from one exercise to the next.
20 minutes cardio (walk, run, hike, cycle, swim, etc)
10-25 burpees
10-50 lunges
max amount of pull-ups
Cool down with a nice easy jog and stretch. Maybe try out a yoga class.
WOD for 6.19.12 brought to you by Gaspari Nutrition
Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.
- Aldous Huxley
Head on over to the Spartan Blog to view the WOD for 6.19.12 by James Villinque and Hobie Call, brought to you by Gaspari Nutrition.
We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Let's see what you can do! Tomorrow's WOD should be performed for time. Just set your exact goals from the suggested reps below and stick to it. Warming up with a light jog, some jumping rope, or doing a few burpees is always recommended.
Run 2-5 miles then do the follow strength exercises
1. 30-90 Push Ups
2. 15-30 Burpee/Pullups
3. 30-90 Box jumps
4. 100 Jumping Lunges
5. 50-200 Crunches
6. 3-5 minute Plank
WOD for 6.21.12
brought to you by Air National Guard
Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.
- Gustave Flaubert
Keeping a strict schedule is important if you keep finding yourself complaining that you 'don't have enough time to train'. Actually analyze every hour of your day and you'll probably be amazed at how much 'down time' you actually possess. Regiment your day as to always include a workout, even if brief. Try and squeeze in a few short workouts if your day is totally hectic. Exercise is closely correlated with brain function, so set that alarm to train before sunrise and you just might have an amazing day at work.
grab 20-40 lbs sandbag, Spartan pancake, or even a set of dumbbells and hike/walk 2-4 miles (preferably hills). It's not about speed, it's about strength and endurance. The more irregular the weight you are carrying the more you are going to build up your body's adaptability across many planes of movement while also working your core strength.
finish your trek with weights and do:
20-100 squats or squat throws
10-100 push-ups or burpees
20-100 lunges
max pull-ups
You'll thank us at your next Spartan Race.
WOD for 6.22.12
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
- Sam Ewing
You have to put the time in to show up ready for your Spartan Race. There are no magic formulas or pills, only hard work and more hard work.
Warm-up with a jog that stretches into a moderate tempo run that covers 1-5 miles in length. You should negative split these miles, finishing at or above race pace.
Find a good place to jump into:
25-100 burpees
50-200 lunges
5-25 pull ups (or 25-100 push ups)
50-200 body weight squats
Jump right back down into another 1-5 mile run, reaching your fastest pace the last mile.
For a cool down, do a 10 minute jog and then stretch.
In this WOD try and get right back into running near race pace immediately following the strength exercise sets. A Spartan Race forces you to transition from speed to strength and power rapidly so you want to be adaptable.
Having weights ready for the lunges and squats is optional.
It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect it's successful outcome.
- William James
Bringing the right attitude to a workout is crucial for that workout to be successful. You need to show up ready to perform, unwilling to let anything distract you. For tomorrow's WOD set your mind to the task of executing each rep with perfect form. Try and leave less and less time between each exercise. This is a good routine to tap into some intensity. Let the straight forward nature of this WOD allow you to focus all of your attention on pushing yourself to the next level in your fitness.
Warm up: 10 minute jump rope and a light jog
5-15 pull-ups, 10-30 burpees, 5-15 burpee pull-ups
(repeat 3 times)
then, 1-3 mile tempo run
Cool down: stretch
WOD for 6.24.12
All things are difficult before they are easy.
- Thomas Fuller
Long Run:
What distance run do you consider to be too difficult for you right now? Well, whether that number is 5 miles or 50 miles, tomorrow start striving towards conquering that distance. A tried and true method to do this is to make sure you continually push the distance of your long run each week. What was your long run last week? Add 10-15% of that run to tomorrow's run. So, for example, if you ran 10 miles for your long run last week, push yourself to 11-12 miles tomorrow. Make sure you bring enough water and fuel to see you through to the end. If you've been pushing hard and progressing continuously for the last few weeks, feel free to consider a more recreational recovery run. Still go long but back off distance and intesntiy to give your body some time to absorb your recent gains.
Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.
- William James
If you went long today, go short and sweet tomorrow. Recovery days are crucial in any fitness progression. Take a day to absorb your recent strength gains. Try light aerobic exercise doing something new – whether that is breaking out the jump rope or doing a 20 minute swim session, it doesn't matter. Just get active. Breaking a sweat is a great way to loosen up and recover from a hard wo
Tags: Master WOD Archive