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important note:::this story is COMPLETE!
So, many of you follow three of my other stories and those who have know I started working on a new one with the intention of completing it before I post. Well, good news! It's complete which means there are high hopes for the other stories you may follow!
Summary: After Edward leaves Bella in New Moon, she is completely broken and finally gives up. She finds herself standing at the edge of a cliff, welcoming death and without hesitation jumps only to wake up the next day back on her first day of Forks High School..the day she first met Edward.--given a second chance to be with her true love. However, will Bella choose to allow history to repeat itself or will she give Edward up completely?
***I'll post this chapter at a time..there is a total of 6 and they are long...depending on how well of a reaction this story gets, I'll post the rest The characters of this story do not in any way, shape or form belong to me..they belong to Stephenie Meyer!....
Read, review and enjoy!
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Chapter 5
I woke up Monday morning thinking I'd be ready for school and ready to deal with how the Cullens would react about me knowing everything about them and about how I was more or less a part of their family until Edward left me. I already knew Rosalie wouldn't be welcoming me though I still didn't understand what her problems with me were. Regardless, when I woke up and tried getting out of bed, I was overcome with so much pain. I was blindsided by it. I knew my muscles were still sore after that fall and waking up back here but I thought it was getting better. It wasn't as difficult pretending to be fine everyday since the pain began to subside. But this morning...it seemed to come back tenfold and moving around was extremely difficult. It was still early so I knew Charlie would be home; I decided to tell him I needed to stay in today. Whatever this was would pass, I was sure of it but I needed to take it easy today. I...barely and painfully...made my way down the stairs to see Charlie sitting at the kitchen table drinking his morning coffee.
"Morning dad," I managed to get out, pain evident behind my voice. I place both hands on the counter for support but even that motion didn't get off easy.
"Morning," he responded before looking up at me and seeing the state I was in. "Are you alright Bells?"
"No dad, I'm extremely sore this morning...it hurts to move around," I told him. "I guess the extreme body workout I did during the week is starting to catch up to me big time...do you think I can sleep it off today?" He eyed me, thinking before he finally agreed. To say I was thankful for this would be an understatement. Not only was I escaping a day of school that I knew would be terrible due to my sudden immobility but I was escaping a day of facing the Cullens after they would have been informed. Seemed like a win, win to me. A few moments after Charlie said I could stay home, he had to leave for work. Now all I had to do was manage to get myself back up the stairs. I had thought getting down the stairs was the hardest part...I knew I'd be wrong with that. But before as I managed to get to the first step, the door bell rang. I instantly cursed whoever it was at the door because I knew how difficult it would be for me to even reach the door without being overcome with the pain.
"Who is it?" I called out, hoping they could come in if I told them they could.
"It's Alice!" I heard from the door.
"Come in, door's open," I said quietly this time. I knew she'd hear me without difficulty. As soon as I granted her permission she walked in; she failed to mention Jasper was with her. I didn't have a problem with him being here though. I was never mad at him for what happened.
"Hey Bella, you know Jasper don't you?" Alice smirked while I rolled my eyes at her.
"Hi Jasper," I said, staying where I was by the first step. The less I moved, the better.
"Hello Bella...it's a pleasure to meet you," he said politely. "again...I pressume." I nodded in agreement, knowing officially that the Cullens had been informed over the weekend. I could see in his eyes something was bothering him...possibly the knowledge of what he had done at my birthday party but that was just a guess. I just hoped he wasn't picking up on how much pain I'm in.
"It's nice to see you again," I reassured him. "Feel free to take a seat if you'd like," I told them both. Without thinking about it they both took a seat on the couch, still not paying close attention to my place by the stairs.
"So Bella, we wanted to see if you wanted a ride to school today," Alice started. "But then I saw you weren't going in today but Jasper and I wanted to come see you anyway. The others don't know though..."
"I'm not avoiding you if that's what you think," I told her.
"Well I sure hope not!"she scowled as she crossed her arms. "Why don't you come over here and sit with us? Then you can tell us why you just decided to stay home."
"I can tell you from over here, you know..."I tried avoiding having to mention the pain for as long as I possibly could. Though as I stood watching them and as I spoke with Alice, I noticed Jasper trying to figure something out.
"Bella...I know we've met and have known each other for a while based on what Alice has told us but I hope I don't overstep my bounds when I ask you this..."Jasper started, trying to say the right words. "But, I'm sensing an extraordinary amount of pain from you...is something wrong?"
"Of course something is wrong with her, she's giving up the love of her life because she's convinced herself he doesn't want her because he stupidly lied about it!" Alice answered for me, though that wasn't exactly something I would've answered with. She saw passed my facade though.
"I'm not refering to emotional pain Alice,"Jasper told her, then looked back to me. "I'm sensing an incredible amount of physical pain...as though you were in some sort of accident that's had severe effects on your body. I don't understand how you're able to tolerate it."
I thought for a few moments how to respond. Of course, on some level I had expected Jasper to sense the pain I was feeling. It was impossible to hide it from him but what was I really supposed to say? I had no explanatoin behind this pain and I didn't want it open for discussion and I certainly didn't want to be taken over to see Carlisle for him to run tests. I bet there wasn't anything wrong though. I just assumed my muscles were sore because nothing had happened to caused there to be problems...not in this reality at least.
"I'm honestly not sure why you're feeling that because I feel fine," I told them both. In order to completely convince them, I forced myself to move from my standing position and sit down on the couch. I had to keep reminding myself to not flinch or cry out in pain with every step I took, even more so when I started to take my seat. If I managed to do that without indicating any pain, then they would drop it.
"Bella...are you sure you're not just trying to cover it up?" Jasper asked as he stared at me intently...I was sure the pain had crept its way to my face here and there. Even if I remained calm, the pain was still there. I did the only thing I could think of...something I wanted so badly to not ever have to do but I allowed all of my good memories of Edward resurface. I thought about everything we had done together, everything we'd talked about, every touch and every laugh...just enough for Jasper to not be able to detect any pain. The happiness seemed to make me forget about the pain I was feeling and as soon as it set in, I saw Jasper relax. He believed it and that was enough for now.
"Like I said, I'm fine," I told him, allowing a smile to form on my face. The thoughts of Edward just made me miss him even more.
"So why aren't you going to school then?" Alice asked once again.
"I just couldn't sleep the other night so I wanted to stay in, catch up and come to school tomorrow refreshed," I told them,hoping they were buying my lie. I was never really good at lying but in this case, I needed them to believe it. I didn't need unnecessary worrying.
"Oh...well that's ok then," Alice said and gave me smile. I wanted so badly at that moment to sign in relief but they'd catch that. I wondered if they planned on staying here the entire day, which I normally wouldn't have minded but I wasn't sure how long I could keep up the facade of not being in pain. Just then, thankfully I might add, Alice checked her watch. "We should go before the others get suspicious." I nodded my head in understanding as I forced myself to stand up to say goodbye. As soon as they were out the door, I turned to head back up the stairs, ignoring the pain with each step I took. I sat down on my bed, relieved the facade was over but was startled when Alice showed up at my bedroom door.
"Hey, you scared me!" I exclaimed, completely taken back by her sudden appearance.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to," she said as she made her way over to sit beside me on the bed. "I just really needed to talk to you before I left, Jasper went on without me."
"Ok...?" A part of me already suspected it would be about Edward. I was almost surprised when they never mentioned what happened the other night when she told everyone but I finally understood. Or at least I was starting to.
"I think it's obvious that I told everyone what we discussed the other night..." she started. "Of course, everyone is completely taken back as to how this is even possible and Carlisle immediately hit the books. But while he's busy doing that...everyone wants to get to know you...again," she laughed after she said that part. I wasn't surprised that Carlisle would start doing research about what happened to me though I didn't know if I actually wanted answers. I had my own I was sticking to...it was to give Edward that clean break he had wanted without wasting his time until he realized that's what he wanted. Clearly he regretted ever pursuing a relationship with me and this was fate giving me the chance to give him what he wanted from the beginning.
"That's fine I guess..."I wasn't sure if Edward was included with everyone. I also wasn't sure if being friends with him is something I could bring myself to do. I needed as much seperation as possible because I knew that no matter how much I tried, I'd never get over him. I was better off never waking up at a second chance. I thought it'd be better giving him what he wanted but it was worse knowing it hadn't happened yet.
"I should also give you a heads up about Edward..."she hesitated, eyeing me trying to see if I would be able to handle what she wanted to warn me about. I smiled, trying to encourage her to continue. "He's upset...typical Edward and beating himself up over what he did to you. He finally gets why you've been acting the way you have been towards him but he says he isn't giving up on you...but don't tell him I told you that." Why was he not going to give up? I was doing him a favor by keeping him at arms length!
"He really shouldn't try Alice, you can tell him I said that." I told her, trying really hard not to break down in front of her.
"Bella, why not?" she asked. I saw the confusion on her face and I understood it. But I needed her on my side with this.
"Because I'm giving him what he wants by doing this." I knew this was more me convincing myself that this was the true reason and it was, wasn't it? I just couldn't go back and let things be the way they were only to have him leave me again. Having that happen in one reality was enough for me. I didn't survive it the first time, I knew I couldn't a second time either. I could tell Alice had more to say but I needed time alone. I needed to prepare myself and figure out why I was in so much unexplainable pain. "I think I'm going to catch up on some sleep, ok? I don't want to have to miss another day tomorrow."
"We both know I won't let that happen," she smirked at me before heading back out the door. Once I was alone and in the clear, I did my best to get comfortable in my bed. Each movement I made didn't go without a rush of pain surging through my body and again, left me with confusion as to why it was there to begin with. I hoped that the next morning would be better but only time would tell.
At six in the morning my alarm was once again going off and I was hesitant of reaching over to shut it off. My entire night consisted of pain with each toss and turn that came as I slept. Though instinctively, I still reached out to shut it off and was surprised when the pain I expected to feel didn't come. In a fast motion, I sat up. I wanted to dance around the room to celebrate that pain being gone. That was, until I got out of bed and needed to sit back down. It seemed the pain which I had throughout my body decided to shift and now resided as a migrane. I wouldn't let it hold me back today though, I had to get to school. So, just like any other day, I grabbed my toiletry bag and headed to the bathroom to shower. Once I was refreshed and dressed for school, I headed down to the kitchen in hopes of taking medicine for my migrane and a quick bite to eat.
"Morning Bells," my dad greeted me as I made my way into the kitchen. I was honestly surprised to see him. Normally at this time he had already left for the station.
"Hey dad," I didn't turn to look at him since I was on a time limit. Instead I continued getting what I needed so I could go.
"How are you feeling today? Better?" he asked.
"Stiffness is gone. Now I just have a migrane," I told him as I took motrin out of the cabinet.
"Migrane, huh..."he uttered, mostly to himself but I still heard. "Bells, if you're starting to get sick, I want you to go see a doctor ok?"
"Ok dad, but I'll be fine," I grabbed an apple. "I'll see you after work."
Today was yet another rainy day, though while I'm sure I preferred for it to be one of those sunny days that kept the Cullens out of school, I was grateful for the lack of sun. I knew if the sun was out and shining, I wouldn't have made it past my drive way with how the brightness would have hurt my eyes. I hid it well in the kitchen but the closer I got to the school I knew if the medicine didn't kick it, I'd be miserable all day. And it was exactly as I predicted it would be. I suffered through all of my morning classes and I wasn't sure how much more suffering I could take. All I knew is I needed to get to every class considering I missed a whole day yesterday. The medicine did nothing. My migrane just continued to get worse and by lunchtime, I was ready to rip someone's head off--metaphorically speaking of course. I stood in line with Jessica, waiting to grab something from the lunchline though I wasn't even that hungry. I felt sick.
"Edward Cullen is looking at you," Jessica whispered to me. I didn't want to look but I couldn't help myself. I looked over at the Cullen table only to see he wasn't there with them, even though they were all looking my way--Alice with a big smile on her face. That's when I remembered the day he first chose to sit away from the Cullens' and gave up trying to stay away from me. He had chosen a different table and wanted me to come over to sit with him that time...yet again, he did this. I looked at him, seeing the pain and hurt in his eyes. He gestured for me to come sit with him but I couldn't handle that right now. I couldn't think straight with this damn migrane. Instead of going over to him, I followed Jessica to our usual table and sat there as everyone else joined the table.
"So did you guys hear about our Bio lab today?" Mike asked everyone as he took his seat across from me.
"We don't have some like, pop quiz or anything do we?" Jessica asked, clearly annoyed already at the thought.
"No, better than that! We're bloodtyping!" he exclaimed. He was acting like a little kid at Christmas morning at the news, which to me, made no sense. Instead, I remembered the first time we had to do this and how quickly I got sick as soon as someone pricked their finger. Mike had to take me to the nurses office but I couldn't get there...I needed to sit from how sick I was...and then of course, Edward came to the rescue and carried me the entire way there. Not this time! I couldn't believe I had forgotten about the bloodtyping though...I would definitely be skipping Biology next period. I needed a get away though. This migrane kept getting worse by the minute.
"And how do you know that?" Eric chimed in.
"A friend of mine had that lab already earlier and gave me a heads up," he shrugged his shoulders. "Hey what's his problem?" Mike gestured behind me and of course, everyone looked to see who he was referring to. I already knew but looked anyway. Edward still sat there, alone at the table as though he thought I would change my mind and sit with him. I wouldn't.
"I don't think I've ever seen Edward look that angry before," Jessica commented, though I knew he wasn't angry. That was Edward beating himself up over everything that had happened between us in my reality. He was probably wallowing over the fact that I jumped off a cliff because he left. He felt guilty, not angry. "It's kinda hot.." she added. Immediately, my hand balled into a fist underneath the table. Even though I was ensuring our seperation, I still felt a bit possessive over the man I loved.
"You would say that," Mike laughed at Jessica, though this clearly angered her. I knew she liked Mike,even in this reality.
"What's that supposed to mean?"she asked, crossing her arms. But before he could say anything, the bell for the next period rang and everyone was out of their seats headed towards the doors. With the crowd piling around the door which led outside, I took this as my opportunity to leave without anyone--including the Cullens--seeing me. I was not setting foot into that Biology room while they were blood typing. Instead, I headed over to my truck to lay down inside. I'd be away from all noise, lighting, anything that helped the migrane cause me pain.
I didn't even get five minutes of solitude before a knock came from my window. I glanced up from my position and saw it was Edward. Of course he'd be here. I sat up and motioned for him to come around the other end. Not a second later, he was on the passenger side and I was being stupid by letting him into my truck.
"I never pegged you for the ditching class type," he said, obviously trying to break the ice.
"I'm not."
"Then why are you out here instead of in Bio?" I could tell it was more curiosity behind his question..as though trying to get to know me in this reality.
"Blood typing," was all I said to him.
"You get sick around blood?" he asked, surprised. This reminded me a lot of the first time we had this conversation.
"Yes, I can't stand the smell of it," I told him but quickly went to add something before he commented on it. "But before you scrunch your face and say humans can't smell blood, I can. It smells like salt and rust and it makes me sick." I looked over at him to see the expression on his face. He looked taken back until understanding grew on his features.
"I take it we've had this conversation before?" he asked.
"So did you skip first originally?"
"No, I didn't take your advice that time," I told him, trying not to smile at the memory.
"What advice was that?"
"That sometimes it's healthy to ditch classes." he didn't respond right away after I told him that. I wasn't pushing for him to say anything either. I wanted silence and all the talking was making things worse for me. I thought maybe he'd take the hint that I didn't want to talk, but I thought wrong. Of course.
"So why wouldn't you sit with me at lunch?" he asked. I thought I could hear the desperation in his voice.
"I have my reasons."
"Which are?" he pushed.
"One being I don't exactly have much to talk about. I told you, we can't be friends. Second being that I have a migrane, so I prefer silence and dark lighting compared to noise and lit rooms."
"Bella...we do have a lot we should talk about. And I don't want to just be your friend...I can't stand not being with you..." I cut him off before he could finish. I couldn't sit here and hear these words from him. Not when I needed to keep him away.
"Edward..I already told you where I stand. I'm not going to change my mind." I told him, trying my best to sound sure of my decision. I was never able to fool him in my reality...I hoped it was the same in this one. I didn't look at him as we sat in awkard silence. I felt his eyes on me but I wouldn't give in to the temptation to see his face.
"Bella, I don't understand why your doing this..I can see it's not what you what...but we've been given this second chance to make things work, why do you want to throw it all away?" I could hear the pain behind his voice but instead of allowing myself to feel remorse for my actions and decisions, I was angry. No, I was beyond it. Why do I want to throw it all away? I couldn't believe he had the nerve to say it was what I wanted. I was giving him what he wanted and I was saving him from all of his regret! He truly was masochistic! He wanted to pursue a relationship with me...knowing that not even a year from now he would be telling me I wasn't good enough for him and breaking my heart. He wanted me to suffer! I wanted to hit him and I would've if it would have actually done damage to him.
"Get out!" I said through my teeth. By now my hand was gripping tightly to the steering wheel and I could see my knuckles turning white.
"What?" he asked, clearly taken back.
"Get out of my truck Edward!" I raised my voice slightly though the seriousness was more evident then before. I saw him reach hesitantly for the handle before turning back to look at me.
"I don't understand...if I said or did anything wrong please tell me and I will do everything within my power to correct it..."he pleaded.
"It's too late for that Edward. What's done is done and you got what you wanted," I turned to look at him, trying to convince myself not to jump into his arms and tell him I didn't mean it. I didn't expect him to suddenly be sitting so close to me when he had just turned to finally leave. The proximity took me back and I almost lost track of my thoughts. I collected myself but before I could say anything, I felt Edward's lips on mine. He kissed me with such passion, such urgency...I couldn't help but return the kiss. A second time I let my emotions get the best of me only to result in yet another broken heart. When I needed air, I pulled away. His eyes were dark...possibly filled with lust and desire. I saw him tilt his head as though to go for another kiss but I couldn't do this. I pulled away.
"I shouldn't have done that," I said as I untangled myself from him and turned to face the steering wheel. I needed to distance myself from him.
"But the fact that you did just shows how much you want to be with me too Bella," he whispered to me. I hated that he was right. But just because he was right, that didn't mean that I would give in.
"No," I shook my head, wanting to deny it all. "NO! I can not and will not do this!"
"Why...I don't understand how you can clearly be in love with someone but push them away...why do you insist on pushing me away?"he pushed, though he confused me. I figured it would be obvious to him why I'd be this way. So why would he want to pursue anything with me yet again knowing the outcome? Did he really want to see me in pain? The more I thought about this, only to grow more confused, I questioned how much Alice really had told him...did he even know he left me? Did he know what I did to bring me here...to this new reality? He wouldn't be this persistent and carefree about this if he knew...would be? I liked to think I knew Edward well...so taking that into consideration, he didn't know and that made me angry.
"Alice didn't tell you, did she?" I asked, which only brought confusion to his face.
"Tell me what?"
"What did she tell you?" I ignored his response, wanting to hear conformation that he indeed, knew nothing of what happened to our relationship or to me.
"She told me that you had an accident and woke up from it reliving your first day of Forks High; she told me you know about our family, that we were all close and that you and I were together," he answered, still confused. "She also told me since it worked with us in your reality, I should stop sulking around thinking I'll kill you with the slightest touch..."
Alice was relentless...if I wasn't sure of this before, I was positive of it now. I hoped she would actually listen to me and leave well enough alone but of course, she wouldn't have it. She wanted me with Edward and by leaving out the details...it was her way of making sure it would happen. I couldn't deal with it..it was all too much. With trying to process the events that had just occurred, I became even more aware of my already unbearable migraine. Usually after taking medicine they would go away, but strangely this time it didn't. I needed to get out of here.
"I have to go," I quickly told him. "Please leave Edward."
"No, I want to know what you know," he insisted. "Obviously Alice hasn't told me everything..."
"Then it's her you need to be talking to," I simply said. "I have to go.I won't ask you again." I saw anger and curiosity and hurt clear in his eyes but there was nothing I could do. I knew if I tried to comfort him, I'd give in and I couldn't do that. A moment later, I found myself alone in the truck and feeling like the biggest idiot. Instead of heading home to get rest, I headed toward finding the one place I could finally relax and safely give myself to my emotions. The meadow.
I didn't imagine how difficult it would be for me to find the meadow on my own, having only being there once before. The first time, I was too distracted with the fact that I was hiking to pay attention to the path. There was even the chance that I would only reach there--if I did--by night fall and then getting back would be another problem. I almost siked myself out of the search but I was determined. I needed the safest escape considering which choice I made the last time. It took me two hours, a few wrong turns and a hell of a lot of determination until I finally stumbled upon my destination. There it was, in all its glory, our meadow. Or in this reality, just a meadow which warmly invited me in. I layed down in the center of the field, welcoming the serenity and willing my migrane to finally seek residence elsewhere. Unfortunately, it never left. It stayed put, happily where it was, taunting me. I had gotten so focused on figuring out where this migrane even came from that the sudden sound of a branch cracking took me off guard. I sat up, a little too quick for my liking only to be welcome by not only the migraine but the same pain in my chest I had first had when I woke up in this reality. It seemed every pain I had experienced was starting to come back to me and each one brought along a friend. To my slight...and I mean the slightest..disappointment, Edward was here. I saw remorse on his face for disturbing me but I couldn't say I was surprised.
"There's just no escaping you, is there." I said sarcastically.
" 'Fraid not," he responded though he couldn't look me in the eye. I stared at him for a few moments until realization hit me. He knew...right?
"You know now, don't you?"I asked.
"No...at least not everything. Alice said you had to be the one to tell me, not her," he told me as he took a seat beside me. "What I do know is that the accident you had killed you...and then you were here. I don't know what happened before your accident Bella, but however you came into this reality, I'm thankful. I can't live in a world where you don't exist...please, tell me..." I looked into his pleading eyes...knowing the truth would clearly break him. But it was what he wanted and I did love him; the truth was the least I could give him. I took a deep breath, ignoring the pain that accompanied it and started.
"We were together...you loved me, I loved you...I still do no matter how much I try to avoid these feelin--" he cut me off before I could continue.
"Bella,I love you too! More than you could possibly imagine.." he said with urgency.
"Edward, you need to let me finish...you asked to know this." I told him; he nodded. "I planned on being with you forever, but you left me. Alice threw me a party at your place for my 18th birthay and I got a paper cut. Silly injury really, but the blood flow was enough to send Jasper into a frenzy..you pushed me back, to protect me. I crashed into the glasses which cut my arm...making the situation worse than it already was. You became distant from that moment on...until you decided your world wasn't for me. I wasn't good enough for you..you didn't want me..you said I'd get over my feelings for you in time..have a normal life...well, there was nothing left in me when you left. You took my heart, my soul, my reason for being. The accident Alice told you about was no accident. I jumped off a cliff." Edward was still as a statue...could vampires go into shock? "Edward?" I asked, concerned. I guess I expected this type of reaction from him...I gave it some time until after what felt like hours, Edward "came back" from his statuesque state.
"You...ki..killed yourself?" he fought with the words.
"I couldn't live without you..I promised I wouldn't do anything wreckless but you promised you'd never leave..you lied." I said, looking away.
"I just..I just don't understand...how stupid could I have been to actually bring myself to lie to you in such a horrible way!" he said with disbelief. "Bella...if how I felt for you in your reality came any close to how I feel in this one...then that decision I made--one which shouldn't have even be made without talking to you about my concerns--was all a lie. You are good for me...too good. In fact I wonder why you even chose me...a soulless monster, but you did. I do want you..in every way I could have you Bella...I just can't believe how stupid I was in your reality!" I stood up, needing to get away from the proximity as I tried to process what he had just said.
"Edward..you say this all now but what happened will happen in this reality...just like it did in mine. I know that because no matter how much things turn out differently here, in some way they are similar to what was meant to happen!" I insisted. He was standing in front of me, cupping my cheek with his hand in less than a second.
"Bella...I will never forgive myself for what my lies did to you. I can simply make up for my foolishness here, in this reality...don't you realize what all this means?" he asked, whatever thought he had brought a light to his eyes.
"What what means?" I asked, confused.
"This...your death and then you waking up the day it all began for us...we're meant to be Bella. The decisions that happened in your reality weren't supposed to be that way and as soon as they went wrong, fate gave us our chance back. We belong together..." I heard his words...so much of me believed it...I just couldn't hurt anymore. I couldn't.
"Edward...I can't relive you leaving me...I can't," I shook my head, trying to get the thoughts out of my mind.
"Bella...I swear to you...I will never disappoint you again. If I have to spend eternity making it up to you, I will do so gladly as long as I have you by my side...I love you and I know you love me." He hid whatever guilt he had from what I told him well; instead there was such joy.
"I don't know..."I continued to struggle with what to do.
"Say it Bella." I shook my head no. I couldn't. Once was enough.
"Say it." he repeated, more serious. The look in his eyes...his amazing eyes caused me to cave.
"I love you," I whispered, knowing he could hear. Within an instant, he was kissing me and I found myself not even questioning if I should kiss back. I did what came naturally to me. Staying away was not natural and of course I'd get hurt...maybe I'd keep coming back to him like he said...maybe fate really did work in weird ways and its plan was to ensure Edward and I are never apart...I pulled away to look at him, gasping for air. "This is going to be really difficult for me...I hope you know that.."I warned him.
"I'm not going anywhere..." he told me. I couldn't help but smile.
But just as easily the smile came...it went. The pain increased in that moment and was even more unbearable than before..as though that could even happen. I screamed out in pain, causing Edward to instantly go into panic mode. He was probably thinking he broke me! So much for getting another kiss...I was nearly tumbling over in pain though Edward held me, badgering me with questions about what was wrong...what hurt...etc.
"How long have you had these pains?" he asked, serious.
"Ever .....since I woke..... up.... in this ....reality...they went away but .....the last... few days different...symptoms came ...back. It's...never...been....this....bad..." another wave of pain hit me, this time directly in my chest. I couldn't even describe the type of pain it was..it made no sense to me at all.
"Bella..I need to get you to Carlisle," my vision was blurring. I could vaguely see him pull his phone out. He spoke so fast..even if I was in good condition and was trying to hear I couldn't. "Carlisle's coming here...it's best not to move you Bella..." I didn't respond. There was ringing in my ears...tightness in my chest...pressure in my head...almost the way it was when I was under that water. I couldn't make out his screams for my name though I knew they were there. But I kept slipping and slipping...until I couldn't see him at all and the meadow disappeared...
wow,wow,wow........that was so amazing!!!
i cant wait for the next chapter.!!!!!!!!!!1
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Despite a population decline following the devastating 2010 and 2011 earthquakes, CHRISTCHURCH is the largest city on the South Island, with around 350,000 people, and capital of the Canterbury region. Founded as an outpost of Anglicanism by its first settlers, the city was named after an Oxford college. To some extent it pursues an archetype – the boys at Christ's College still wear striped blazers, and punts glide along the winding River Avon – but in recent years the city's traditional conservatism developed a youthful and more multicultural edge, balanced by laidback beach life at the Pacific Ocean suburb of Sumner.
Until the quakes, Cathedral Square was the heart of the city, and a new green space is planned here once the future of the ruined early 1900s cathedral is clear. Historic buildings to have survived the quakes include the Italianate 1879 Old Post Office and the adjacent 1901 Palladian-style former Government Building. Other surviving buildings include the neat rows of pastel-painted 1930s Spanish Mission-style buildings along New Regent Street and, along Victoria Street, the Victorian clock tower, which houses a clock originally imported from England in 1860 to adorn the government buildings.
Sprawling Hagley Park contains the spectacular Botanic Gardens, a golf course and playing fields, and at weekends it seems like the entire population of Christchurch is here, strolling around or playing some form of sport.
Even while rebuilding takes place, Christchurch still works as a base for exploring further afield, with a plethora of companies offering activities such as rafting, ballooning and high country tours in the surrounding countryside, and is also within a two-hour drive of several good ski-fields to the west.
Brief history
Maori occupied scattered settlements around the region before the first Europeans arrived, establishing Lyttelton as a whaling port in the 1830s. By 1843, the Scottish Deans brothers were farming inland, but the real foundations of Christchurch were laid by the Canterbury Association, formed in 1849 by members of Oxford's Christ Church College, and with the Archbishop of Canterbury at its head. The association had the utopian aim of creating a middle-class, Anglican community in which the moralizing culture of Victorian England could prosper.
It was at Lyttelton that four ships containing nearly eight hundred settlers arrived in 1850, bound for the new city of Christchurch. The earliest settlers weren't all Anglicans by any means, and the millenarian aspirations upon which the city was founded soon faded as people got on with the exhausting business of carving out a new life in unfamiliar terrain. Nevertheless, the association's ideals had a profound effect on the cultural identity of the city, and descent from those who came on the "four ships" still carries social cachet among members of the Christchurch elite.
Earthquakes in 2010 and 2011 severely affected the city, destroying many of its renowned buildings, but local and national authorities and residents are committed to planning and rebuilding a new, revitalized city.Read More
Christchurch earthquakes
Christchurch earthquakes
The 7.1 magnitude earthquake that hit Christchurch on September 4, 2010 marked the start of a series of tectonic events – including some 2500 aftershocks within a year – that would have a dramatic, deadly effect on the city, changing it irrevocably. The aftershock of February 22, 2011 killed 185 people and badly damaged or destroyed many buildings in the city centre, while one more person died in the June 14, 2011 aftershock. Still reeling from the devastation, the city was struck again on December 23, 2011, this time by 5.8 and 6 magnitude quakes.
At the time of writing, parts of the city centre within the Four Avenues – Moorhouse, Fitzgerald, Bealey and Deans – were still cordoned off. Some will remain inaccessible to the general public until structural safety has been ascertained and it's known which buildings require demolition, and the timeframe during which this will happen. Christchurch's iconic neo-Gothic buildings fared particularly badly, including its landmark cathedral, the geographic and, for many, spiritual heart of the city. In early 2012 it was announced that the cathedral could not be saved and will be demolished. Authorities are considering installing a temporary "cardboard cathedral" – check wchristchurchcathedral.co.nz for updates. The Port Hills were also roadblocked at the time of writing, and parts of the beachside suburb of Sumner were stacked with shipping containers to protect against further land slippage. For residents, it remains an uncertain time as they await news of insurance and authorities' plans for rebuilding the city, while contending with ongoing seismic activity.
But there is good news: as plans for rebuilding unfold, some businesses remain or have since reopened, and others have relocated or are intending to do so, either temporarily or permanently, to unaffected suburbs. These suburbs have experienced a renaissance as people who once frequented the city centre are seeking out eating, drinking and entertainment venues further afield. And spirited locals are creating pop-up bars, shops, restaurants and cafés (many housed in shipping containers) as well as new long-term establishments, while working to repair and reopen businesses where possible.
The TranzAlpine
The TranzAlpine
One of the most popular day-trips from Christchurch is to ride the TranzAlpine train (4hr 30min each way; book well ahead for discounted prices; w tranzscenic.co.nz), a tourist-oriented trip across to Greymouth on the West Coast (an extension to Hokitika is under consideration). It's a gorgeous 231km journey – with numerous viaducts and nineteen tunnels – all seen from the train's large viewing windows and open-sided observation car. Christchurch's industrial suburbs give way to the farmland of the Canterbury Plains before climbing through braided river valleys and open tussock country into the Southern Alps. There's a pause at the beech-forest high point of Arthur's Pass before descending through the 8.5km-long Otira Tunnel that burrows under the 920m pass itself to the West Coast.
The train leaves Christchurch train station at 8.15am every morning and nominally returns by 6.05pm, though years of under-funding mean that delays are fairly common. Levels of comfort and catering are also below par for what is essentially a tourist attraction, though standards are improving.
If you travel in December you will see red and white rata in bloom, but the trip is at its romantic, snow-cloaked best in the winter months (June–Aug). A good strategy for those with a vehicle is to catch the train at Darfield, 45km west of Christchurch, allowing a later start in return for missing Christchurch's industrial suburbs and a few farms. It's also worth considering alighting at Moana for a relaxed three-hour lakeside lunch before boarding for the return journey. It beats a hurried snack in Greymouth.
The trip can also form part of a high-country tour.

subset: commoncrawl


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Audio and Guided Tours
Self-guided audio tours and guided tours of Walt Disney Concert Hall are offered by the Music Center most days. All tours are an hour long and begin in the Grand Avenue Lobby of Walt Disney Concert Hall.
Tour Information from the Music Center
Tours of Walt Disney Concert Hall do not include the auditorium due to a near constant rehearsal, performance and special event schedule. The Hall's vineyard design creates outstanding acoustics and there is not a discreet way to enter the Hall without disrupting these activities.
Virtual Tour
Learn More about the architecture of Walt Disney Concert Hall


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About Dr. Sauerbrey
Andreas M. Sauerbrey, MD joined Orthopaedics of Steamboat in 2001. He served as Chief of Surgery for Yampa Valley Medical Center from 2006 to 2008. He has served as an Arthrex Arthroscopy Course Instructor from 2006 to the present. Previously, he worked at Medical OPS Management, performing Orthopaedic Independent Medical evaluations and as a relief physician at Bryne Mare Rehabilitation Hospital in Malvern, Pennsylvania.
Dr. Sauerbrey received his M.D. degree from Oregon Health Sciences University in 1992. He completed an internship in the Department of General Surgery at University of Colorado Health Sciences Center in 1993. He went on to complete his Orthopaedic Residency at the University of Colorado.
Subsequently, Dr. Sauerbrey received fellowship training in shoulder and elbow surgery at the University of Pennsylvania, and in hand surgery at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia. His specialty training in conditions affecting the upper extremity provide an extra level of expertise in those areas; however, he is well trained to manage all aspects of orthopedic care including joint replacement, sports and trauma.
Dr. Sauerbrey also has his Sports Medicine Specialty Certificate. Each year, he attends orthopaedic courses and instructor meetings so he can provide patients with the latest technologies in his specialty. He has extensive experience and interest in PRP (Platelet Rich Plasma) therapy.
A USAA and US Ski Team Physician
Since arriving in Steamboat Springs, Dr Sauerbrey has volunteered for USSA and the US Ski Team. He has traveled with the Freestyle Ski Team annually since 2002 and was the US Freestyle Ski Team Physician from 2007 until 2011. As Freestyle Team Physician, he covered the World Championships in Inawashiro, Japan in 2009 and Deer Valley in 2011. He was also chosen to be the Freestyle Team Physician for the Vancouver Olympics in 2010.
Dr. Sauerbrey is originally from Bend, Oregon, and is glad to live in a small town so he can interact with people on a more personal level. His wife, Lisa, is from Anchorage, Alaska. They have a son, Max, and a daughter, Morgan.
Practice Information
Located in Northwest Colorado, Orthopaedics of Steamboat Springs delivers quality care to the local communities of the Yampa Valley as well as for the visitors to our area in need of orthopaedic treatment.
Our comprehensive physician team consists of both general and specialty trained orthopaedic surgeons.The practice cares for all problems of the musculoskeletal system, including fractures, tendonitis, arthritis, torn cartilage and ligaments, nerve and pediatric injuries.
At Orthopaedics of Steamboat, our goal is to provide comprehensive treatment for all orthopaedic conditions in a personal and professional manner. We strive to provide state of the art medical care, with our additional training and modern facilities.


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Six months ago David Cunliffe's image had taken a battering, particularly as the ABC (Anyone but Cunliffe) faction was identified as one of the main reasons for Shearer's victory in the Labour Party leadership contest.
- Public broadcasting (or lack there of) is increasingly being discussed around the country – especially with the launch in Auckland tonight of a series of nationwide meetings – see the Save TVNZ7 Facebook page. David Beatson has also written a very good blog post about the problems with the Freeview model of public broadcasting (Bang goes another public service TV channel), and Stuff survey's a number of experts, asking What can be done about NZ TV?.
- The Listener's Toby Manhire is increasingly busy picking up on the stories and angles that many other journalists miss. Today, for example, he asks, Is Conservative party leader Colin Craig a creationist?, and he reports on the fact that John Key ranks ninth of 21 leaders in region in approval ratings.
- Industrial relations is one of the big political stories of the year, and the Government is determined to make further changes in this area – see: Jamie Gray's New industrial relations laws rewrite labour rules and Newswire's Labour slams law change proposals.
- How much does sexual violence plague New Zealand? According to a report, 'one in four girls and one in eight boys is likely to experience it before the age of 16' – see: Newstalk ZB's Sexual violence in New Zealand 'huge' say advocates. But David Farrar challenges the credibility of theses figures and argues that 'The actual true levels of sexual violence are bad enough, that they do not need exaggerating' – see: Sexual violence statistics.
- The Ureweras saga continues to divide the political left in this country. See the very different viewpoints in Matt McCarten's Urewera fiasco pointless and expensive shambles, Chris Trotter's In A Weakened State, and Lew Stoddart's Against "courageous corruption" as Crown policy.
- The public's view of the ever-closer US-NZ military relations is surveyed in Audrey Young's Opinion divided on NZ-US military exercises.
- With an increasing focus on the activities of lobby groups in New Zealand, David Farrar looks at a very under-examined element of the industry – those lobby groups that are actually funded by the state – see: Taxpayer funded lobbying. As Farrar shows, some lobby groups are effectively funded by government to lobby government with political campaigns – which is a very problematic arrangement.
- Finally, New Zealand gets the attention of the President of Wadiya in a very funny 43-second message, which can be watched here. For more on this, see TVNZ's The Dictator greets 'New Zealand Devils'.


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MILWAUKEE, WI (WTAQ) - Four people are under federal indictment, accused of defrauding a sub-prime mortgage pool of nine-and-a-quarter million dollars.
They're accused of fraudulently transferring troubled mortgages to the now-defunct Central States Mortgage Company of suburban Milwaukee -- where they allegedly siphoned the money.
Three of the defendants used to work at Central States.
Its founder, 66-year-old Richard Jungen, is charged with three counts of fraud along his ex-wife Elaine Jaeger and former chief financial officer Jerome Poehnelt.
The fourth person, David Chapman, is charged with three counts of fraud, obstruction, and lying to investigators.
The indictments were handed down August 27th but were sealed until this week.
They were handled so quietly, that the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel said the defendants were surprised that an indictment was handed down.
Central States Mortgage became Wisconsin's largest mortgage house until it went into receivership in 2009, when the foreclosure crisis was at its worst. None of the defendants are under arrest, and court dates have not been set.
Central States suspended its operations after a federal racketeering suit was filed in 2009 accusing Jungen and his associates of defrauding 15-million dollars.
That suit was later dropped.


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Power Components
Synthesizers.com takes the Modular Philosophy to Controllers
Our controllers are completely modular. Mix and match as you see fit. Change and expand at any time. Start with a keyboard, add a Box cabinet, then add a wheel controller or maybe a whammy bar. The possibilities are endless.
Controller Bundles
Pre-configured controller bundles provide a simple way to get the controller that fits your needs.
Or we can build a custom controller system with the controller components on this page in virtually any configuration you desire.
Keyboard Controllers
Modular Keyboard controllers with quality keybeds, metal frames and beautiful walnut sides.
Add Wheels, Expression Blocks, Whammy Bars and other controllers using Box-style cabinets to create
the perfect custom controller system.
Add a Q174 MIDI Interface module to produce Pitch voltages and Gate signals.
Box Cabinets
Box-style cabinets are low-profile for holding modules and controllers.
Mount to your keyboard controller or use stand-alone, even on the floor as a foot switch.
Available in 1, 2 and 4 spaces.
Wheel Controller
Wheel Controllers provide voltages to change any synthesizer parameter in a 1-space module that can be mounted anywhere in your system. Use for pitch-bending, modulation control, sequencer triggering and more. Many unique features including configurable spring-return, center-detent and programmable wheel color.
Expression Block Controller
The Expression Block produces a changing voltage as you press the lighted acrylic block. The voltage can be used to change any synthesizer parameter such as amplitude, filter frequency or modulation amount.
Whammy Bar Controller
The Whammy Bar controller produces a voltage as you push the Fender Guitar-style bar up and down. The voltage can be used for pitch-bending or to change any synthesizer parameter such as filter frequency or oscillator pitch.
TouchPad Controller
The TouchPad controller produces a voltage as you press on the force-sensing pad. The voltage can be used to change any synthesizer parameter.
Ribbon Controller
The Ribbon controller produces a voltage based on where you press along the sensor. The voltage can be used for pitch control or to change filter settings or any other parameter.
Knob and Pressure Controller
The Knob and Pressure Controller provides unique expression options with a rotating knob and a pressure sensor. Both rotation and pressure provide variable output voltages that can be used to change pitch, filter settings or any other parameter. User-selectable spring return and detent. End-of-travel switches provide Gate signals to trigger sequencers and envelope generators.
Dual-Axis Whammy Bar Controller
The Dual-Axis Whammy Bar controller produces a voltage as you move the Fender Guitar-style bar up and down, and another voltage as you push and pull. These voltages can be used for pitch-bending or to change any synthesizer parameter.
ThumbStick Controller
The 2-axis ThumbStick Controller produces two independent voltages that can be used to control any synthesizer parameter. A Switch Gate signal is produced when the ThumbStick is pressed down.
Joystick Controller
The 2-axis Joystick Controller produces 2 independent voltages that can be used to control any synthesizer parameter. An Auto Gate signal is produced for each axis.
PC Joystick Interface
The PC Joystick Interface provides connection to a user-supplied analog PC Joystick. Two variable voltages and 2 Switch Gates are produced along with the an Auto Gate signal for each joystick axis.
Guitar Switch Controller
The Guitar Switch controller produces two On/Off Gate signals that can be used to trigger sequencers, change filter parameters, etc. These rugged switches are designed to be operated by foot.
Foot Pedal Interface
The Foot Pedal interface provides connection for an external variable pedal and a switch pedal. Voltages and Gates are produced to control synthesizer parameters or trigger sequencers.
Variable Foot Pedal
Provides variable control of parameters. Control filter sweep, tremolo depth and virtually any other voltage control-able parameter. Use in conjunction with the Q142 Pedal Interface Module or the Q181FJ Foot Pedal Interface.
Foot Switch
Provides on/off control of parameters in the synthesizer system. Use to trigger envelopes and sequences, for controlling portamento or for simply activating additional effects while playing. Use in conjunction with the Q142 Pedal Interface Module or the Q181FJ Foot Pedal Interface.
Questions? Copyright (c) Synthesizers.com


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The Menu, 149
Edits / Travel
Regional Survey – Sarawak
Edits / Food & Drink
Market recovery
Edits / Monocle
Issue Promo 76
The Menu, 148
Edits / Food & Drink
Artisanal Ice Cream
The Menu, 147
Edits / Monocle
The Monocle Guide to Good Business
The Menu, 146
Edits / Food & Drink
The waiting game
Wednesday 30 July
Booking a busy London restaurant table often requires patience but the current trend of doing away with bookings overall is not helping. Monocle's Josh Fehnert explains why the wait leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
Turning up to an exclusive restaurant and bagging a table without a booking was once the preserve of the powerful. Now, however, a new generation of restaurants are shunning the time-tested system of making reservations in…


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Tuesday August 31, 2010 / 1:00 PM - 3:30 PM
Contact: Betty Havrylik (401) 333-2552, x 2 email@example.com
This class is an easy-going hands-on approach with emphasis on composition, color, techniques, form, etc.
Students will be given individual attention and encouraged to use their own techniques and can learn how to use oil, watercolor, acrylics, or pastels.
Natalie G. Vecchio is a local media artist who has been painting for over 50 years in a variety of media: Oil, watercolor, acrylic, pastel, tole, gold leaf and reverse painting on glass. She has an A.A. in Fine Arts from CCRI and a B.A.from URI. She is an artist member of the RI Watercolor Society and is a member of the South County Art Association. Her paintings have been displayed in various shows in New England.
Limit: 8 adults.
Fee: $40.00 for 5 weeks, payable upon advance registration.
Supplies information given upon registration.
Location: Meeting Room 3


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Graphics Software
- Capture
- Graphics Conversion
- Editors
- 3D Modeling
- 3D Rendering
- Presentation
- Viewers
- Image Galleries
- Animation
- Handwriting recognition
Showing page 1 of 7.
HP Linux Imaging and Printing
Hewlett-Packard's Linux imaging and printing software15,928 weekly downloads
winPenPack: Portable Software Collection
Everything you need, completely free, open source and portable!8,373 weekly downloads
The FreeType Project
The FreeType project develops free, portable and high-quality software solutions for digital typography. We focus on bringing small, efficient and ubiquitous products.8,276 weekly downloads
The OpenGL Extension Wrangler Library
The OpenGL Extension Wrangler Library is a simple tool that helps C/C++ developers initialize extensions and write portable applications. GLEW currently supports a variety of operating systems, including Windows, Linux, Darwin, Irix, and Solaris.5,739 weekly downloads
A PDF Reader and Note-taker for OS X4,585 weekly downloads
NIF File Format Library and Tools
NifTools aims to provide users with Tools to View, Edit, Create and Visualise 3D Models stored in the NetImmerse File Format. The NIF format is used by many popular games based on the NetImmerse/Gamebryo Game Engine such as Morrowind, Oblivion, Fallout 3, Fallout: New Vegas and Skyrim. We are creating a unified description of the NIF file format allowing our contributors to build tools and utilities, to facilitate user created content. The tools will allow users to: - View/Edit/Visualise the data of a NIF model. - Libraries to Read/Write the NIF Format. - Import/Export NIF models into various 3D package via Plug-ins. - Custom content creation for NetImmerse/Gamebryo Games.3,791 weekly downloads
SIMD-accelerated libjpeg-compatible JPEG codec library1,886 weekly downloads
Open Source Solid Modeling CAD1,841 weekly downloads
A platform independent program to geotag images(use GPS data to store location information with the image).Uses external maps to fine-tune locations.743 weekly downloads
Python File Format Interface
PyFFI is a Python library for processing block structured binary files. Supports NetImmerse/Gamebryo (NIF, KFM), Crytek (CGF), FaceGen (EGM), DDS, and TGA. Includes 3D tools (stripifier, tangent space), utility scripts, and a file editor QSkope.589 weekly downloads
TWAIN sample Data Source and Application
Use the TWAIN 2 sample data source and application, to test your TWAIN project, or as templates to incorporate TWAIN into your graphic applications or Scanner drivers. The samples are released as open source software and uses a Modified BSD licenses.413 weekly downloads
DD Thought Tickler
DD Thought Tickler is a thinking process recorder. It is a kind of vector graphics editor and idea processor. It has new function not ever known. It records your thinking process, by memorizing every steps that you've operated on this tool.509 weekly downloads
PyOpenGL is the binding layer between Python and OpenGL.303 weekly downloads
Converts OpenType and TrueType fonts to and from XML.212 weekly downloads
Barbecue - Java barcode generator
Barbecue is a Java library that enables the creation of barcodes in a variety of standard formats that can be displayed as Swing/AWT components, included in printed output, generated as EPS and SVG and displayed in a web application.187 weekly downloads
YUV Player
yuvplayer which supports planar/packed yuv211 weekly downloads
GLE - Graphics Layout Engine
GLE is a graphics scripting language designed for creating publication quality graphs, plots, diagrams, figures and slides. GLE relies on LaTeX for text output. Its output formats include EPS, PS, PDF, JPEG, and PNG.155 weekly downloads
Gnofract 4D
An advanced fractal generation program, which draws the Mandelbrot and Julia sets and infinitely many more, including Fractint, UltraFractal and your own custom formulas. True color rendering, antialiasing, unlimited undo, and a quick and easy interf201 weekly downloads
G3D Innovation Engine
G3D is a commercial-grade C++ 3D engine. It is used in commercial games, research papers, military simulators, and university courses. G3D supports real-time rendering, off-line rendering like ray tracing, and general purpose computation on GPUs.148 weekly downloads
TTF to PS Type 1 Font Converter
Converter of various scalable font formats (most notably TTF) and of the bitmapped BDF format into PostScript Type 1 fonts and metrics (.pfa, .pfb, .afm).101 weekly downloads
ngPlant is a plant modeling software package. ngPlant interactive tool can be used to create 3D models of different plants and trees. ngPlant software libraries can be used by developers in their 3D applications, or plant modeling plugins.113 weekly downloads
Virtual Lego building for the Macintosh.148 weekly downloads
Quantizes a 32-bit RGBA PNG image to an 8 bit RGBA palette PNG using the neuquant algorithm.72 weekly downloads
EasyBMP Cross-Platform Bitmap Library
EasyBMP is an easy cross-platform C++ library for reading and writing Windows bitmap BMP files. No installation, no need for external libraries, small size, well-documented, and simple enough for the novice programmer to start in just minutes!110 weekly downloads
The VXL Project
A multi-platform collection of C++ software libraries for Computer Vision and Image Understanding.68 weekly downloads


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Watch little hands make big fun!
Make waves with your guppy fan by crafting this simple bean bag toss game!
Blow kids away with these homemade guppy and little fish-shaped wands
The race is on! Help Nick Jr. pals collect party favors in time for the fiesta
Help Dora's friends make it to the fiesta in time & get your own charm bracelet
Fruit is on the loose in Gina's kitchen! Help Wally collect the runaway produce
Get groovy with colors & glitter to create unique designs in this mess-free game
Help Dora and her new friends get ready for tonight's big concert in Playa Verde
Help Marshall save the turtles and fly with Skye to Chickaletta's rescue!
The Team needs your help! Round up the bad guys and get your own UmiCops badge
Create sticker pics with the PAW Patrol pups & more Nick Jr. friends
Get great ideas on hosting a Nick Jr. themed birthday bash!


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6 Unexpected Costs of Having a Baby
The cost of having a baby, just in the first year of life, is around $11,000. But do you know the unexpected costs? Here are six to keep in mind!
While your belly is getting bigger, it may feel like your bank account is getting smaller! We have some ways to cut corners and help you budget for Baby.
Babble blogger Lauren Hartman shows you what she likes to keep in her diaper bag, and the secret to keeping it all organized.


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(London Daily Mail) No wonder it's been so hard to find in Scotland, this new photograph appears to show the Loch Ness Monster has headed Down Under for a place in the sun.
Taken off Magnetic Island – located off the Queensland coastal city of Townsville – the pictures have convinced locals they have their very own 'Nessie'.
With a population of just over 2,800, the island is buzzing after the bizarre monster-like 'creature' suddenly popped up out of the pristine waters off an area known as Picnic Bay last weekend.
The image, which is eerily reminiscent of the famous 1934 image of the Loch Ness Monster, had visitors and locals scratching their heads, with theories ranging from it being a large bird to a sunken boat.


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Welcome to your dedicated Indooroopilly page. As part of a larger group of optical stores, Bupa Optical is able to offer better discounts and services than ever before, while still offering you the quality of service we are known for. We know the importance of delivering qualified and friendly eye doctors, optometrists and opticians to care for your vision, along with providing a great range of fashionable frames and contact lenses. By ensuring our staff and products are of the very best standard, we hope to offer you a unique optical experience at great value.
Stop by your local Bupa Optical store, Indooroopilly to find out more, or book an appointment online now!
Eye health isn't as clear cut as just having clear vision. There can be a number of underlying issues (for people at any age) that can be quite easily detected by having regular eye tests. At Bupa Optical, our focus is on providing quality, cost effective vision care for the whole family.
Stop by your local Bupa Optical Indooroopilly store, give us a call, or book an appointment online right here.
We're focused on delivering the services you need in a friendly and professional environment. Click on the headings below to learn more about the services on offer at your local store, or book an appointment now.
Click here and make an appointment from the comfort of your own home! Simply follow a few steps and we'll see you soon!Book Now


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Professor Paul Leisher
Lenticular lenses are typically molded plastic optics which have found use in a variety of low-cost, large-area applications. For example, in lenticular printing, these lenses are applied to printed material such as postcards and posters to create the illusion of depth or to modify the image as the viewing angle is changed. The goal of this project is to assess the feasibility of this inexpensive, mass-produced technology in a high power laser array. Semiconductor vertical external cavity surface emitting lasers (VECSELs) arrays currently utilize expensive 2D optics arrays. These lenses are precision manufactured, and the cost can exceed the total of all the other components in the laser. It is not clear that the level of precision afforded by these optics is strictly necessary to achieve reasonable output from the semiconductor laser. If a VECSEL array utilizing a molded lenticular array could be demonstrated, it would represent a significant achievement in reducing the overall cost structure of this class of device.
Professor Richard Ditteon
The Harvard Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics is the home of the Minor Planet Center which keeps track of the locations of hundreds of thousands of minor planets in the solar system. Researchers use this information for dynamical studies of the solar system. For this project you will use images of minor planets taken for the minor planet photometry project (see below) to determine the precise location of these minor planets and report your observations to the Minor Planet Center. We also use this data in the Celestial Mechanics course (PH322) to calculate the minor planet orbit around the Sun to predict its future position.
Minor planets are not usually spherical in shape. As they rotate about their own rotation axis, we will view larger or smaller sides of the minor planet and the minor planet will appear brighter or dimmer. We use the telescopes in the Oakley Observatory (on campus) and the Oakley Southern Sky Observatory (in Australia) to take images of minor planets over extended time periods. Measuring the brightness of the minor planet allows us to plot the variations and determine the rotation period of the minor planets. Observing the same minor planet at various positions in its orbit allows the determination the orientation of the rotation axis. A shape model for the minor planet can also be created.
Some kinds of stars oscillate. Their outer layers expand and cool and then contract and heat up. These changes cause changes in the amount of light the stars emit. Other stars are form binary pairs where one star passes in front of or behind the other star. We can monitor known variable stars to determine the amplitude and period of their oscillations and determine if they are intrinsic variables or eclipsing variables. We can also search star fields to discover new variable stars.
Supernovae occur when a star runs out of fuel and the star collapses in on itself creating a neutron star or a black hole. The supernova is actually due to the rebound of infalling material. During the rebound, the star can become nearly as bright as an entire galaxy of stars. Supernovae are used by astronomers to determine the distances to their host galaxies. But to make those distance measurements, astronomers need to know when and where a supernova is happening. In this project we would image dozens of distant galaxies in the hope of catching a supernova going off in one of them.
Professor Renat Letfullin
Nano-Optics: Surface plasmon resonance phenomenon. Surface plasmon resonance (SPR) has been investigated both for its fundamental importance and as a possible detection technique. Recently, commercial biosensors have become available that rely on SPR for detecting various proteins and other DNA constituents. With involved students we perform simulations of the integral and differential optical properties (such as scattering, absorption and attenuation cross sections and scattering amplitude functions) of nanoparticles below the diffraction limit for a broad range of the wavelengths of transverse electromagnetic waves.
Ultrashort laser radiation interaction with nanostructures. Two models will be studied to describe ultrashort laser pulse interactions with metal nanoparticles in time. The first is a two-temperature model which involves fast thermalization within the electron subsystem, non-uniform energy transfer to the lattice, and electron energy losses due to electron heat transport into the particle volume. The second is a one-temperature model based on a heat transfer equation written within a uniform heating approximation throughout the particle volume. We perform the comparative simulations of temperature-time dynamics using these models for laser heating of metallic nanotargets in the femtosecond, picosecond and nanosecond regimes, thus providing an effective modeling method to explore the effects playing the determining role in the laser-matter interactions.
Laser-induced explosion of nanoparticles. The strongly-enhanced SPR of noble metal nanoparticles at optical frequencies makes them excellent scatters and absorbers of visible and near-IR light. When the strongly-absorbing nanoparticles are irradiated by ultrashort laser pulses, their temperature rapidly reaches the thresholds for nonlinear effects and can cause an explosion of nanoparticles. This involves the generation of a shock wave of dense vapors expanding in the cell volume with supersonic velocity, producing sound waves and optical plasma. There are two main physical mechanisms that could lead to the laser-induced explosion of nanoparticles - (a) thermal explosion mode through electron-phonon excitation-relaxation and (b) Coulomb explosion mode through multiphoton ionization. We will estimate the threshold laser energy density required for the realization of the thermal explosion of nanoparticles.
Microbubble overlapping mode. Bioconjugated nanoparticles are selectively attached to chosen cellular targets, in particular to membrane receptors activated by other antibodies. When nanoparticles are irradiated by short laser pulses, they absorb the laser radiation, and their temperature rises very quickly, reaching the threshold of microbubble formation in the surrounding liquid medium. We study a new dynamic mode for selective cancer treatment that involves the overlapping of bubbles inside the cell volume. The nanobubble overlapping mode around intracellular structures induced by short laser pulses can dramatically increase the efficiency of the cancer treatment as a result of the larger damage range and higher expenditure rate in comparison to a thermal damage mode.
Nanoclusters aggregation mode. We propose a new mechanism for selective laser killing of abnormal cells by nanoclusters aggregated in the cell volume. A cluster is a group of closely-located nanoparticles separated by the thickness of antibodies (10-30 nm), which has a typical size of 200-400 nm. Here, the effective therapeutic effect for cancer cell killing is achieved due to a large damage area at the relatively-low energy density of the incident laser pulse.
Thermal explosion mode - nanobombs. We propose yet another new mechanism for selective laser killing of abnormal cells by laser thermal explosion of single nanoparticles - nanobombs - delivered to the cells. Thermal explosion of nanoparticles is realized when heat is generated within the strongly-absorbing target more rapidly than the heat can diffuse away. Here, the effective therapeutic effect for cancer cell killing is achieved due to nonlinear phenomena, which accompany the thermal explosion of the nanoparticles: generation of a strong shock wave with supersonic expansion of a dense vapor in the cell volume, producing sound waves and optical plasma.
Professor Robert M. Bunch
The use of light emitting diodes (LEDs) for lighting applications will continue to grow for many years. As new LED structures are developed, especially white light LEDs, there is a continuing need for methods to characterize their optical properties. The current project involves developing a test platform for LED measurements of the output spatial profile using precision rotational stages and calibrated detectors. Other projects will include measurements of total flux (optical power of an LED) using an integrating sphere and spectral measurements to obtain color coordinates.
Professor Maarij Syed
Magnetic properties of materials are both a fundamental discipline and a highly applied field with applications that range from imaging to data storage. In this project magnetism of unconventional composite material is investigated using a technique called Faraday Rotation (FR). FR refers to the phenomenon in which the axis of linearly polarized light is rotated as it propagates through a medium in a static magnetic field applied along the direction of propagation. The amount of rotation is proportional to the optical path length, and magnetic field strength, and a material-specific constant called the Verdet constant. Materials with a large Verdet constant have applications as optical isolators, modulators, and magnetic field sensors, to name a few. However, despite the usefulness of FR, few studies have investigated this effect in the context of the nanoparticle composites. These composites refer to a general class of materials where a polymer matrix is seeded with magnetic nanoparticles. These systems allow for the investigation of magnetism at a nano scale where size dependent magnetic properties often result in interesting and novel departures from the well understood magnetic behavior of large scale bulk samples. The polymer matrix also modifies the behavior of these magnetic nano systems by making the observed properties a function of the chemical nature of the surrounding matrix, its mechanical rigidity which may aid or oppose magnetic alignment, etc. The project aims to explore all of these fascinating interrelationships by using different combinations of magnetic nanoparticles (Fe2O3, Fe3O4, etc.) along with various polymers (e.g., silicate gels, etc.). By employing FR to investigate these systems one can not only better understand nano magnetism, but it is also possible to investigate the application feasibility of these systems as optical isolators and magnetic field sensors.
Conventional application of FR is typically in DC mode, whereby the applied magnetic field is static. This project builds on the last two years of work where our lab has perfected a much more sensitive version of this technique that is referred to as the AC version of FR. The AC technique makes use of lock-in detection that allows for the reliable determination of exceedingly small rotation angles, which in turn can be used to precisely determine the Verdet constant of a given sample. To date, experiments involving the AC technique in our lab have used single wavelength sources. This project hopes to push the technique to a new level by using a broad band source and develop the related detection scheme, along with resolving noise issues that may be present in a new setup.
In short, the project represents an exciting blend of optics, electromagnetics, nano science, and experimental technique that would require the student pursuing the project to integrate all these interesting and challenging disciplines into his or her understanding.
Professor Michael McInerney
A silicon diode is the end product of the laboratory in the course EP406 'Semiconductor Devices and Fabrication'. Students actually make a wafer full of diodes as they learn the general methods of device fabrication. Not all of the diodes on the wafer are successful.
The aim of this project is to characterize the diodes produced to determine why some are successful while others are not. This characterization requires cutting, mounting and polishing specimens and observing under optical and electron microscopes. An etch that is selective for different dopings of silicon must also be identified and used.
This project will help us improve the quality of the diodes that we make in EP406.
A simple diode conducts electricity in one direction and not in the opposite, reverse, direction. It does have a tiny reverse current that can become large if the reverse bias exceeds a 'breakdown voltage'. The forward current increases exponentially with bias until it saturates. This behavior can be shown as a graph on an oscilloscope if you have the correct electronics. This project is the design and production of these electronics.
The student doing this project will have to design and produce an electronic instrument that can take input from a signal generator and a diode and output the characteristic curve (I,V) for the diode to an oscilloscope.
This project will be a great help to PH405 and EP406.
A pin hole is able to act as a lens but requires a bright light source. Several pinholes can gather more light but their images interfere with each other. This interference can be undone, or 'deconvolved' if the pattern of the pinholes is correct. The aim of this project is to find a way to determine this correct pattern. I suspect that a genetic search is a likely approach; but there may be others.
A pin-hole lens is useful for radiation that cannot be focussed easily; such as X-rays and gamma rays.
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Lions on the move
The Stormers have completed moves for prop Pat Cilliers and flanker Michael Rhodes on permanent deals from the Lions for Super Rugby 2013.
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Meanwhile, the Lions said Derek Minnie and Willie Britz had signed new contracts which would keep them with the team until 2014.


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Guest recipe: Gnocchi with morels, peas, sorrel oil, pine nuts, and miso broth »
When I run the world (fingers crossed), New Year's will be on May 1 and we'll all have off to celebrate the first farmer's market of the year and the international struggle for a communist world. Just think about the spring greens—dandelion, stinging nettles, pea tendrils, baby mustard greens, sorrel. I know some crazy carnies (and I mean carnivores) that can just stand and chew on some fresh-cut baby kale stems and be super-happy about it. It's an awesome time of year. We'd celebrate the whole month. While you might be sick of potatoes after winter's doldrums, new white-fleshed potatoes can make awesome gnocchi, so here's a very springy gnocchi recipe with a slight twist that really works. One thing to note: if you're using frozen gnocchi, you will not boil them; instead, à la Jonathan Waxman, you'll put them straight from the freezer into the frying pan and season with salt.
Gnocchi with morels, peas, sorrel oil, pine nuts, and miso broth
serves four to six
2 lbs. white fleshed potatoes, new or old
1 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
½ tsp. salt
Miso broth
1 small onion, cut in half
1 rib celery
3 bay leaves
1 Tbsp. black peppercorns
4 cups water
1 Tbsp. white or yellow miso
Sorrel oil
1 bunch sorrel
¼ cup water
1 ½ cups olive oil
1 bunch early spring greens, rinsed and stemmed
4 to 12 fresh morels, cut in half (the more the merrier, although if you can't find morels, other mushrooms work OK, like the dehydrated porcinis in the picture)
½ cup peas, shelled
½ cup pine nuts
2 cloves garlic, sliced thin
Miso sauce
Put the onion, celery, bay leaf, and peppercorns into a pot with the water. Simmer for 30 minutes while you make the dough. Strain.
In a small bowl, place the miso. Whisk ½ cup of the stock into the miso. Taste. Add more stock in small quantities until the flavor is still pretty strong but balanced and it has a brothy consistency.
Boil the potatoes, skin-on, in heavily salted water. When they're done, you should be able to stick a knife into the center of the potato without resistance. Try to test as few as possible and disturb the skin as little as possible. Remove the potatoes when done.
Let the potatoes cool just enough to handle. Rub the skins off. Use a tammy/strainer or a ricer to thoroughly puree the potatoes.
Mix with ¾ cup of the flour and the salt. Work the dough with your hands into a manageable ball and knead altogether for two to three minutes. As the potatoes cool they will get stickier, so move pretty fast. If the dough sticks to your fingers, work a little more flour in until it stops doing that. It shouldn't be firm like pasta dough but it should be firm enough to hold its basic shape when you pinch off a piece.
It is a learned skill to make gnocchi dough correctly and there's no substitute for experience in this regard. This is an approximate ratio I've provided, but I do suggest before you start rolling and cutting that you test one out first by dropping a piece of the dough into simmering water. If it falls apart, you need more flour in the dough.
You've made the dough! Pinch off jawbreaker-size pieces and roll them out into ½-inch wide snakes on a floured surface, trying not to taper the ends too much.
Line these up next to each other and with a big knife or a bench scraper cut them all into gnocchi-sized pieces. If you want to dimple or tine them, now is the time. Sprinkle them with flour and let them rest for 5 minutes. If it's not dinnertime yet spread them out on a sheet-tray, wrap the tray in plastic and put them in the freezer.
When you're ready to eat, put up a large pot of salted water (unless using frozen gnocchi).
Sorrel oil
Tear up the sorrel, separating it from its stems. Put all the sorrel, ¼ cup water, and olive oil into a blender and puree for a good two minutes, pausing to scrape down the sides of the blender every 30 seconds or so. Season with salt and strain.
Schav is a sorrel soup that was a springtime staple for immigrants in the early 1900s. At its most basic, it was sorrel, water and salt, but it still was so delicious that people drank it out of mugs. I could drink this sorrel oil straight, but for a good schav just reverse the oil/water ratio here. Sorrel oxidizes super-quick after it's chopped up or pureed, turning from bright springy green to army green to gray-green. It still tastes just as good but if you want to be classy just make this oil right before you put everything together.
The final countdown
Warm the broth in a small pot. Make sure everything for the final dish is prepped and handy. If, like me, the largest pan you have is about 10 inches, you're going to have to finish this dish one serving at a time, so divide up your mis en place accordingly.
Drop the gnocchi into the boiling salted water. Heat a pan with oil. When the gnocchi float in the pot, put the garlic and morels into the hot pan and season them with salt and pepper. Cook for 15 seconds and then add the gnocchi to the pan, trying to spread them out so as to have one even layer. Disturb the pan as little as possible until the gnocchi start to brown on the bottom.
When the gnocchi are browning add the peas, pine nuts and greens and season them with salt and pepper as well. Toss together. Add more oil if you don't see any on the floor of the pan. Cook for another solid minute, tossing every 15 seconds or so.
Put in the center of plates. Pour or spoon broth over the top so that it pools around the gnocchi. Drizzle the sorrel oil around the plate.
Mark Tinkleman is committed to a radically better future for all of humanity. He is a cook by profession, was trained at the Natural Gourmet Institute, and has worked at award-winning vegan and omni restaurants in New York and Philadelphia. He lives with his beautiful partner and their cat in Philadelphia. Go Philly!
∞ posted at 14:50 by youtalkfunny