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Mr. Beaks Reviews THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN!
Regardless of your feelings on the necessity of a web-slinger reboot, Sony's decision to christen its new effort THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN was inspired in that it suggested - via the comic book's flagship title - a classic approach to a firmly established character. This, it seemed, was the studio's opportunity to close out Sam Raimi's Parker v. Osborn trilogy, to embark on a serialized Spidey franchise with some fresh(er) faces, a promising young director and a jocular tone more in line with the '60s-'70s comics. Best of all, it didn't have to be an origin tale because everyone was up to speed on the origin.
Nerdy kid from Queens. Radioactive spider. Arrogance. Dead Uncle Ben. Great Power. Great Responsibility. Got it.
Get ready to do it all over again.
The triumph of THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN is that, even at its most tedious, it's rarely infuriating. As Marc Webb proficiently goes about reconceiving Peter Parker as a charming outcast with just enough game to land a brainy beauty like Gwen Stacy, you stick with the film because you think Webb might pay off the romance with an endearing final moment (an intimate variation on MJ's "Go get 'em, Tiger" at the end of SPIDER-MAN 2). Here's the thing: he does. Here's the other thing: the rest of the movie.
I spent most of THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN wondering who I'd cast opposite Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone in a big-screen version of Kenneth Lonergan's THIS IS OUR YOUTH; it's that close to "good", and that close to being contemptuous of its source material. Working from a stitched-together screenplay credited to the capable trio of James Vanderbilt, Steve Kloves and veteran closer Alvin Sargent, Webb occasionally, accidentally sketches a portrait of two rambunctious kids eager to get on with fucking up their lives. Parker's a principled product of earnest upbringing thanks to the blue-collar values imparted by Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen) and Aunt May (Sally Field), but once he acquires his powers (after snooping around the Oscorp lab built around his father's pioneering research), he wants to cut loose in a way that's perfectly, hormonally reasonable. Contrary to Ben's obligatory admonition (hilariously out of place in this iteration), he doesn't humiliate Flash; he nonviolently humbles him. The only problematic aspect to Parker's display is that no one whips out their phone and uploads the moment to YouTube, at which point Parker would be headed for a one-and-done year at Kentucky prior to becoming the first pick in the NBA draft.
You think about these things when a movie fails to engage you early.
Sony spent a decent amount of cash selling the "untold story" of Spider-Man, which, near as I can tell, involves a corporeal depiction of Parker's parents (embodied with day-playing professionalism by Campbell Scott and Embeth Davidtz). It's nice to see his birth parents for once, but there's no palpable bond, and the search for an emotional connection yields nothing tangible; Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans) piggybacked off Richard Parker's discoveries, and Peter, hinting at his intellectual potential, giddily fills in the gaps. How does this begin to remedy Parker's abandonment issues? Does he have abandonment issues? What's this kid's problem anyway? He's got superhuman strength and remarkably easy access to the twentieth-floor window of a girl he'd very much like to fuck (and who seems to be into him). There's an "untold story" here alright, and it's tapping into everything Marvel Comics sedulously avoided. Truffaut would've smashed this.
You look for reasons to be involved during THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN because you're pretty sure the writers and the director are way too smart to buy into the play-it-safe bullshit they're shoveling up on the screen at a million-dollars-per-minute (a depressingly conservative estimate). Sooner or later, you figure the film's going to pull up from its tailspin and clear the horizon. But Webb and his writers (and the studio that invested more money than they'd reportedly anticipated) can't deliver the mail. It could be that they wanted to reinvent the superhero movie and no one would let them, or they just failed to strike a balance between coming-of-age comedy and big-budget tentpole. To an extent, this feels like a studio experiment; a Brundlefly melding of TWILIGHT and BATMAN BEGINS. It's a little bit dour, a little bit cheesy, and a little bit ashamed to be there. Worst of all, it's never fun.
I hate that I'm this indifferent to a film written by the artists partially-to-fully responsible for ZODIAC, PAPER MOON and THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS (that's all Kloves, and I miss that guy), and I hate that this is what they're reduced to: microwaving quick-cooked pulp for a paycheck. I also understand they're voluntarily participating in their own debasement: that's called having a family in Los Angeles. In any event, there's a place for trash, and it's perfectly fine for talented writers to wallow in the muck, but when they deign to get dirty, leave them the fuck alone. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN is a film buried under studio notes, an attempt at something different that, thanks to corporate timidity or obligation, fizzled out into a movie no one will ever love. Sony, realizing their mistake, has brought in Alex Kurtzman and Bob Orci to write the next chapter in this half-hearted, but quite pricey, reimagining of the most joyous character in the Marvel canon. Smart move. We'll never think to care.
Faithfully submitted,
Please donate to the Trailers From Hell push at Kickstarter. Do it for Joe Dante. Do it for Jack Putter.
Readers Talkbackcomments powered by Disqus
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July 3, 2012, 12:05 a.m. CST
by Bob
July 3, 2012, 12:07 a.m. CST
by Beaverduck
July 3, 2012, 12:07 a.m. CST
by MrDark
No, not really. I'm surprised it even got this good of a review somewhere. (Not counting Harry, since he seems barely literate).
July 3, 2012, 12:07 a.m. CST
by Beaverduck
July 3, 2012, 12:08 a.m. CST
Beaks vs. Harry
by MasterControlProgram
Estute and well-written review vs. A rambling mess that is all about Harry and very little about the movie. -- End of Line --
July 3, 2012, 12:08 a.m. CST
This year'sRISE of COBRA>..you want to like it...but its really just bad
by DARKJEDI
July 3, 2012, 12:15 a.m. CST
TED or Amazing Spiderman......TED...
by DARKJEDI
July 3, 2012, 12:19 a.m. CST
Totally agree.
by therobcat
Great review. Many plot points in the film seemed muddled and way too convenient. It didn't feel like a Spider-Man film. Also, Sally Field is not right for Aunt May. I don't know what they were going for, but she just seemed... rough. Misused Curt Conners turning into CGI Killer Croc didn't thrill me either.
July 3, 2012, 12:20 a.m. CST
You lazy bunch normally leave 95% of the reviewing to The Kidd these days and then you decide we need to read reviews of Spider-Man from ALL of you ??
by Dubster32
Would be good to see input from you all on more movies imo.
July 3, 2012, 12:21 a.m. CST
'Its no fun'
by tomdolan04
B-b-b-but he makes snarky wisecracks in this one
July 3, 2012, 12:24 a.m. CST
Sir, your nailed it
by Cpt. Arnoldo
Mirrors my issues with it exactly. Bravo. Most infuriating thing was when the people on the train react to him on the roof of the train by commenting that he spilled their beer...what the fuck? There's another instane of something silly like this that annoyed me but can't recall
July 3, 2012, 12:26 a.m. CST
Sony, realizing their mistake, has brought in Alex Kurtzman and Bob Orci
by tomdolan04
Fucking yes tha....dude, wait what?
 To paraphrase Hudson - 'They're coming in. I feel safer already'.
July 3, 2012, 12:30 a.m. CST
by Stereotypical Evil Archer
July 3, 2012, 12:31 a.m. CST
Wow. Geez, Beaks. I Hated It Too, But That Was By Far The Most Scalding Review I've Read Yet
by THX1968
And I am in total agreement with your review, but I am seriously impressed with the casual brutality of it as well. Uhm, I actually have to read it again here to get my head around it. My hat is off to you sir.
July 3, 2012, 12:32 a.m. CST
topher grace is not in it so i will not see it.
by Balkin Flabgurter
July 3, 2012, 12:39 a.m. CST
Reboot it Sony, reboot it NOW
by tomdolan04
Need moaaar origin
July 3, 2012, 12:40 a.m. CST
Just got back from watching it
by Supermans
And I have to say I enjoyed the movie Yes the high school scene where Parker humiliates Flash by dunking from half court with the entire school watching, and then no one seems to care the next day or even looks at Parker any differently is strange. Flash's attitude towards Parker afterwards is odd as well, kinda like Biff in Back to the Future after the past was changed and he was humbled. However put that aside. The rest of the movie actually works pretty darn good. The special effects are top notch, and I like the chemistry between the characters. This was more fun to me than Spiderman 2 for some reason. The best part of the film was when Spidey saves the little boy. That was the turning point when it went from him looking for revenge for Uncle Ben to a feeling that he needs to be better than that and protect people. There is a lot more to the movie and I will be seeing it again.
July 3, 2012, 12:43 a.m. CST
right on the money
by mcdowell_32000
The last paragraph brings so much truth, however, it was a stone cold killer o'erseas, therefore, the suits couldn't care less and would rather count their cash than take criticism.
July 3, 2012, 12:46 a.m. CST
What is this?
by Glenn
What the hell is Spiderman, is this a real comic book character? How long's it been around? I need to stop reading The Archies at my orthodontist and pay attention more, geez... Dunno 'bout the rest of y'all, but I'm kinda getting tired of watching camera moves in CGI flicks that are absolutely impossible and signal "SPECIAL EFFECT" loud and sparkly. Nolan seems to understand this better than anyone which is why Dark Knight works for me. Now get off my lawn, you darn kids, and take your Mystery Machine with you.
July 3, 2012, 12:52 a.m. CST
I think I'll watch Dredd instead.
by batfunk
July 3, 2012, 12:54 a.m. CST
it'll still have a high imdb score and rottentomatoes score
by Matt Szczerba
and it'll make a shit load of money and many sequels will be made with the same director and actors. live with it.
July 3, 2012, 12:58 a.m. CST
will people now get off raimi's back for 3?
by walt
sony was hands off for 1 and 2 and it was a frickin miracle sony has seen their mistake and are bringing in kurtzman and orci? that is a joke...right?
July 3, 2012, 1 a.m. CST
There Is No Such Thing As Domestic Box Office Anymore
by THX1968
Domestic box office is an after thought. Movies are literally made for the overseas market. That is where all the money is. Look at Dark Knight and Spider-Man, then consider the casting of those films and the markets where such casting would be a selling point. People in the US are content to rent, understandably, as the theatre going experience has deteriorated here in the States with loud mouths and trash that refuse to shut off their cell phones for a few hours. Exhibitors aren't doing much to bring people into theatres on their own, which is why I'm having 3D forced down my throat. Besides, Call of Duty is always there, tempting me to take up arms in the never ending battle. Yeah - no one in this business gives a shit about domestic B.O. There was a time when a movie like Spider-Man NEVER, EVER WOULD HAVE OPENED OVERSEAS. All you young punks need to seriously consider what is going on in the business of film and why that dictates what we see, and why it gets made. Amazing Spider-Man is a perfect case study.
July 3, 2012, 1:01 a.m. CST
I think I'll watch Bread instead.
by Chairman_Kaga
Molding, that is.
July 3, 2012, 1:01 a.m. CST
supermans you are very good at suspending disbelief
by walt
July 3, 2012, 1:08 a.m. CST
Whats this truth telling on the internets
by Saen
July 3, 2012, 1:10 a.m. CST
But...WILL IT SELL TOYS????!!!
by justmyluck
July 3, 2012, 1:24 a.m. CST
waltkovacs: You're right.
by Supermans
There are obvious flaws in the way the characters interact as has been pointed out. The school scenes are unrealistic, heck everything about the way people reacted to Spiderman including those who helped move the cranes, after he was shot in the leg, yet miraculasouly healed within 5 minutes Wolverine style. If you are able to ignore all these things and simply enjoy the film for what it is....Like Kirk fighting the Gorn which was so cheesy, yet deep and entertaining at the same time. You can walk out of the film enjoying it as I did. I actually hac very low expectations going into the film, which is why it surpassed my expectations I guess. However there are more scenes that I liked than I disliked. So pretty much all the negative reviews are spot on, however all the positive ones are right too depending how deep you want to analyze the movie vs whether or not you want to suspend disbelief and just enjoy the ride. I definately see more chemistry and true love between this version vs Tobey's. Also, I liked this version of Uncle Ben better as well. My advice is go see the movie and make up your own minds about it.
July 3, 2012, 1:33 a.m. CST
supermans i can buy kirk fighting the gorn, cuz they had 10 bux to shoot that scene
by walt
sony, despite hating the fuck out of the genre, gave the makers 215 mil for 215 mil, there should be minor continuity and logic errors...not gigantic ones that make you slap your head they shoulda gone nuts and used the cameron script...kinky sex and all
July 3, 2012, 1:39 a.m. CST
we all knew this was the weakest movie of the summer
by mattythelionheart
let's hope marvel get the rights back and move on.
July 3, 2012, 1:43 a.m. CST
Ummmm...Orci and Kurtzman wrote Transformers 2
by Rupee88
So they are writing the next Spider-Man movie and you are happy? not sure that makes sense.
July 3, 2012, 1:55 a.m. CST
worst summer movie season....ever
by walt
based on expectations can someone make a time machine and send me back to 1982?
July 3, 2012, 1:56 a.m. CST
by bowtiehoon
Correct me if I'm wrong Mr Beaks, but my guess is that was sarcasm..
July 3, 2012, 1:59 a.m. CST
by ihatefanboys
Yes they actually wrote both transformers and transformers 2, they also wrote Star Trek, and many other highly successful movies, so whats your point... they write movies people want to see, so its not sarcasm.
July 3, 2012, 1:59 a.m. CST
I just went to see the movie.....and I walked out
by Jonathan
This is a blasphemes piece of shit!
July 3, 2012, 2:02 a.m. CST
What does it has to happen for marvel to get the rights back????
by Seth Brundle
i heard that if sony doesnt make a spiderman movie in x amount of time they lose the rights that cant be all of it!
July 3, 2012, 2:03 a.m. CST
20% http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_revenge_of_the_fallen/
by justmyluck
26% http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/legend_of_zorro/ 26% http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/eagle_eye/ 35% http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_dark_of_the_moon/ 40% http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/island/ 44% http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/cowboys_and_aliens/ 54% http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/people_like_us_2012/ 57% http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_the_movie/ 70% http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/mission_impossible_3/ taaa...daaaa, we have a weenie! 95% http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_trek_11/
July 3, 2012, 2:05 a.m. CST
So sad, its a sad sad situation.......
by jack Bauer
Sorry for the cheap Elton John intro... But it is as sad, a sad situation where Sony had the chance to fully reboot Spidey into a true 100% Spidey fan film and instead they played cupid and teen angst. The dunking scene which I saw on the fan trailer would have raised many an eyebrow and certainly not go almost unnoticed or uncared about, people would have been buzzing. To make it a throw away moment is utterly unrealistic. Oh well, hopefully Supes will be better...
July 3, 2012, 2:10 a.m. CST
I disagree
by Brian
Sure, it had its issues- the main one for me being the score. But I loved Garfield and Stone and all the webslinging they got up to. This movie showed a Spider-Man INVESTED in what he was doing- something all 3 previous Raimi films always failed to do in my eyes.
July 3, 2012, 2:10 a.m. CST
Sony will NEVER relinquish the rights to this property...
by Doctor Bumhole
This piece of rushed-out shit will still make decent profits because every one of you donkey dick sucking shit cunts will still actively go to the movies and pay to see it while you could be helping me to live my dream of writing an off Broadway musical staring all of your mothers lined up on stage while i shoot their wide-eyed faces with diarrhea straight from my gaping asshole and btw here's the first scene for Austin Powers EXT. LAS VEGAS (STOCK FOTTAGE) - NIGHT GRAPHIC: 1967 - SOMEWHERE IN NEVADA It is set against the obvious skyline of Las Vegas. INT. DR. EVIL'S PRIVATE QUARTERS - DAY The lair is 1960's high-tech. We see a huge oversized conference table with six scary-looking EVIL ASSOCIATES, including a Latin American REVOLUTIONARY in a field jacket and turtleneck, TWIN NORDIC DOCTORS, and a METER MAID. ANGLE ON: A RING WITH DR. EVIL'S INSIGNIA ON IT. THE RINGED HAND IS STROKING A WHITE FLUFFY CAT. DR. EVIL (face always unseen) Gentlemen, are we all here? Good. As you know, my plot to high-jack nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage has failed. Again. This organization will not tolerate failure. He presses a button. The Revolutionary, the twin Nordic doctors, and the meter maid's chairs tip back and fall into a pit. Their chairs return empty and smoking. DR. EVIL Mustafa... ANGLE ON: MUSTAFA, an Arab with a red Fez. DR. EVIL Frau Farbissina... ANGLE ON FRAU FARBISSINA in a severe Salvation Army uniform. DR. EVIL I spared your lives because I need you to help me rid the world of the only man who can stop me now. We must go to London. I've set a trap for Austin Powers! EXT. CARNABY STREET - DAY MUSIC: Soul Bossanova by QUINCY JONES. We start on a pair of BEATLE BOOTS and peg-top crushed velvet pants walking down the street in rhythm, à la Saturday Night Fever. We pan up to reveal AUSTIN POWERS, International Man of Mystery. He's a swinger, with medium-length Mod hair and sideburns and he wears National Health Services glasses. Austin walks along Carnaby Street taking photographs. It is that perpetual bright sunny day you see in Sixties movies. Austin, bursting with life, gives a two-handed handshake to a MOD FREAK, who's just gotten off a red double-decker bus. Austin salutes a strolling BOBBY, then comes across TWO BEAUTIFUL MOD GIRLS who are excited to see him. They all start to twist to the music, including the Bobby. FREEZE FRAME - TECHNICOLOR BLUE TINT - TITLE CARD (PRODUCTION NOTE: ALL TITLE CARDS WILL BE DONE IN TECHNICOLOR FREEZE FRAMES À LA SWEET CHARITY.) In the middle of the street, THREE MODELS wait impatiently to be photographed in a makeshift photo shoot area. One wears a short-skirted Stewardess outfit. One wears a metallic silver pantsuit with matching cowl. The other wears a see-through Mary Quant dress. AUSTIN (taking photos) Alright, luv! Love it! Turn...pout for me baby. Smashing! We see that AUSTIN HAS VERY BAD ENGLISH TEETH. The model in the stewardess outfit foes on all fours. AUSTIN Crazy baby. Give me some shoulder. Yes! Yes! Yes! (beat) No. No. Show me love. Yes! And...done. Here you go, luv. I'm spent. Austin throws the camera in the air behind him. An ASSISTANT scrambles and catches it before it hits the ground. AUSTIN Get these off to Fab Magazine right away. SUPERMODEL 1 Austin, you've really outdone yourself this time. AUSTIN Thanks, baby. SUPERMODEL 2 (suggestively) We could have another photo session back at my flat. AUSTIN (coyly) Oh, behave! SUPERMODEL 3 Austin, I love you! AUSTIN So many women, so little time. A gaggle of MOD GIRLS come towards the shoot site. They recognize Austin and SCREAM hysterically. MOD GIRL 1 It's Austin Powers! Austin runs away. The mob chases after him a la Hard Day's Night.
July 3, 2012, 2:11 a.m. CST
incidently, am i a troll?
by Doctor Bumhole
July 3, 2012, 2:14 a.m. CST
"a movie no one will ever love" - Mr. Beaks, AICN
by buggerbugger
That's not going to make it as a pull-quote, is it?
July 3, 2012, 2:15 a.m. CST
Orcus and Colonel Kurtz shouldn't be writing the
by Dingbatty
instructions on toilet paper.
July 3, 2012, 2:16 a.m. CST
so it's not amazingly amazing
by Windowlicker74
but nog so amazing? I am amazing!
July 3, 2012, 2:16 a.m. CST
"Worst of all, it's never fun." - BULL-FUCKING-SHIT
by Shermdawg
I had more fun with this film than all three of Raimi's films combined.
July 3, 2012, 2:32 a.m. CST
The movie's a mess...
by Jason
...except for Garfield. It actually seems as if this entire movie exists to give a great actor a chance to play a great character, as if it were the $200 million blockbuster equivalent of a stage production of Hamlet (which is something he is bound to do in the next few years). Aside from a quartet of strong performances (Garfield, Emma Stone, who is lovely, and Martin Sheen and Denis Leary as very appealing father figures), this movie really has little to recommend it. The second half is especially poor, and The Lizard is terribly realized. I feel like Webb's direction is getting a pass because of how charming his leads are, but I don't see anything cohesive or assured about his work... The script, editing, music, and effects are all underwhelming - they range from clumsy and weak, to - at their best - boring and redundant. To quote Irfan Khan's character, it's an ill-fitting suit... The movie wants to be Spider-Man Begins, but it can't hold a candle to the Nolan bat-films, or, for that matter, Sam Raimi's heartfelt and stylish spider-trilogy. Even the incredibly flawed Spider-Man 3 feels more sincere and compelling in places than this film does. This never looked particularly promising to me, but now it's official: other than the pleasure of Andrew Garfield's performance in the title role, I'd have preferred to see a Raimi/Maguire Spider-Man 4.
July 3, 2012, 2:43 a.m. CST
shermdawg did you go into the projection booth
by walt
and masturbate on the film canisters only way i can see having fun with this movie
July 3, 2012, 2:46 a.m. CST
doctor_bumhole, austin powers, the musical...could really work
by walt
July 3, 2012, 2:47 a.m. CST
The Lizard looked like a reject from Super Mario Brothers the Movie
by spmahn
July 3, 2012, 2:50 a.m. CST
"The script, editing, music, and effects are all underwhelming"
by Shermdawg
So did you take a bathroom break during those amazing Lizard vs. Spidey fights in the school and sewer? Sure the character model for Lizard wasn't that great, but those fights were better than anything Raimi ever delivered. And while the score isn't anything to write home about, after the overbearing music of the previous films, it was a refreshing change. And as far as the script goes, not only does it nail both Peter Parker and more importantly Spider-man, but it's never a chore to sit through like the utterly dreadful and plodding Pete/MJ bullshit of the trilogy.
July 3, 2012, 2:52 a.m. CST
Just got back from the midnight showing, and I want my money back
by GreatOne4
Complete crap. If it wasn't a Spdier-Man movie, I would have walked out. You can tell Sony rushed this out in order to retain its rights to the material. Let me count the asininities: (1) Having weak, nerdy Parker suddenly toy with Flash, then dunk a basketball from at least the free throw line and break the backboard, then throw a football at least 50 yards in the air and dent the goal post. Secret identity anyone?; (2) Parker stealing intern pass into major corporation - good thing major corporations never require photo i.d. to obtain a guest pass; (3) Parker's ability to walk around Oscorp with only a guest pass; (4) No security into hugely important/secret lab testing area; (5) No Daily Bugle/J. Jonah Jameson; (6) No catching of Uncle Ben's killer; (7) No payoff or real relevance of going into Peter's parents' background; (8) Whole transformation scene occurring on subway is fucking retarded, and then way crowd reacts to his being on ceiling of train is even more retarded; (9) How did Connors, who was fired from Oscorp, get all of that equipment into a sewer; (10) When Connors was being told he was fired, 99.9% of all corporations escort your ass out the town that second, with a security guard hovering over your every move, not, "You're fired. You have until the morning to clean things out."; (11) Parker revealing himself to Gwen was way too rushed; (12) Gwen's acceptance of Parker as Spider-Man was way too casual; (13) I don't recall the "with great power comes great responsibility" speech from Uncle Ben, and if it was there, poor writing to not make the pinnacle moment of Spdier-Man's development not stand out more; (14) Way in the Hell do we have to have another scene of New York union workers all joining to help Spdier-Man swing from crane to crane at the end of the movie. Aside from the ripping off of an equally annoying scene from the first Spider-Man, almost every other shot of Spider-Man swinging shows him going from building to building - he didn't need the fucking cranes, and it's inclusion was completely stupid. (15) Killing of Capt. Stacey was too soon (and by wrong character), and his dying instructions in the comic were to take care of Gwen, not stay away from her; (16) No way does anyone make that promise; (17) No way does anyone keep that promise; (18) After blowing Gwen off, including missing her father's funeral, there is no way that one simple line as Parker walks by her causes her to smile; women do not think like that, only boys who never grew out of adolescence (and apparently now write movie scripts) think they do.
I could go on and on, but I'm tired and want to go to bed. But seriously - DON'T GO SEE THIS MOVIES. Go see the Avengers for the 5th time. Trust me, you'll be better off. For the life of me I cannot understand why Sony cannot find someone who knows how to write a script for an asset that, if done correctly, would make them at least $500 million. Might anyway, I guess, so the joke's on me.
July 3, 2012, 2:59 a.m. CST
Give up hope for a Disney/Marvel Spider-man.
by Shermdawg
It'll never happen.
July 3, 2012, 3:13 a.m. CST
Couldn't agree more. It lacks the fun and sense of wonder that a true Spider-Man film requires.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 3:14 a.m. CST
Also, the film had no true heart. Absent was the bond between Peter and Uncle Ben and Peter and Aunt May. And that is a HUGE absence.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 3:24 a.m. CST
@greatone4 - Your review makes me want to sell-off my tickets for tonights showing!
by CeejayNightwing
The things you highlighted sound like the kinda stuff that will annoy the fuck out of me in a movie!
July 3, 2012, 3:25 a.m. CST
What gives?
by Brian
I just don't understand why there is a problem with say- how the Lizard got all the equipment into the sewers when we're watching a movie about a high school boy getting powers from a spider bite. Villains have lairs. Its Spider-Man. Do we really need to argue over real world semantics? Also, Uncle Ben and Peter had at least two great scenes together in the movie. Actually, their bond is what got me into the film. I was unsure during the first 10 minutes or so, but as soon as Peter and Uncle Ben were in the basement having a talk I was hooked. And for me, the movie was more fun because I actually bought into the characters more this time around. The Spidey action scenes in this looked leagues better than anything Raimi offered up, and hopefully in the sequel we'll have even more of them. I wish they would've kept Capt. Stacy on for one more movie, sure, but hey it didn't take away from the film for me.
July 3, 2012, 3:27 a.m. CST
shermdawg fess up, how much is sony paying you
by walt
its ok, you are amongst friends
July 3, 2012, 3:30 a.m. CST
And the winner of most obvious plant goes to...
by Dead_Kate_Moss
supermans! Otherwise, good, trustworthy review Mr Beaks.
July 3, 2012, 3:30 a.m. CST
Not a dime, I found this to be a huge improvement over Raimi's entries.
by Shermdawg
Just wish we had a different villain, I think we all were hoping for Kraven to be used in some way for a Lizard story.
July 3, 2012, 3:31 a.m. CST
Just got back from watching it, and it must be said:
by Half-Baked-Goggle-Box-Do-Gooder
What they got RIGHT, far better than Raimi ever did: Spidey's AGILITY, the way he FIGHTS up close and personal - A maddening, constantly moving, dizzying blur of motion and webbing tricks, instead of the two-feet-on-the-ground guy who stands still and trades punches, Hulk vs Thing-style, with the bad guy. Rest of the movie - ? Garfield's MUCH better than MacGuire, portraying Parker as a fast, smart thinker, instead of MacGuire's usual moping. Chemistry between Garfield and Stone is better than the halting stumbling between MacGuire and Dunst. Characterization, though, is 'way off. Connors not nearly tortured or remorseful enough when back in human form. Leary adequate, but nothing special.
July 3, 2012, 3:34 a.m. CST
Loved the web scene in the sewer.
by Shermdawg
July 3, 2012, 3:34 a.m. CST
greatone4, you include that many plot holes when you dont respect the source material or the fans
by walt
and once again...NEIL GAIMAN RULES question is...why does peter david love this pile of shite
July 3, 2012, 3:34 a.m. CST
Thanks Mr. Beaks...
by Jay Jay
Finally, an honest review! This movie is not good and frankly bored me to tears. Totally uninspired and unnecessary reboot.
July 3, 2012, 3:38 a.m. CST
mondobeyondom, why?
by walt
because if you trumpet to the heavens that you intend to make a darker more realistic movie than raimi made...do fuckin so...or dont and anytime someone honestly compares current fx to fx of even 5 years ago...im gonna slap them silly of course the fx was better well not really...that first escape from the cops looked fuckin lame
July 3, 2012, 3:42 a.m. CST
There is only one hero that can save us from a summer of cheesey crap.....Paging Mr Nolan.
by cameron
Nic Cage's wig on fire, Bouncy men on Mars, Transfor-Battleshit-sers, camp comedy (cough) overhyped avengers, Alien movies without aliens, and a limp unamazing spider brat......... Was there ever any doubt Batman would be the one to save us from an avalance of crap.. One word Batman....RISE
July 3, 2012, 3:46 a.m. CST
In the Raimi films, you can feel the love and warmth between Peter and Aunt May and Uncle Ben. Such warmth, however, is almost non-existant here.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 3:49 a.m. CST
Also, this film lacks the brilliant flashes of color any self-respecting Spidey flick deserves and requires. Sony, Webb, and Vanderbilt seem to have been dead-set in making this film dark and brooding - Spider-Man by way of Nolan's Batman.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 3:49 a.m. CST
Lol Kurtzman/Orci
by photoboy
That's the sequel completely fucked then.
July 3, 2012, 3:51 a.m. CST
by Brian
Of course the fx would look better- and so what? Does that take away from them? But I didn't just mean the fx themselves, I just really liked what they had Spider-Man do and for once Spider-Man had a reason for what he was doing- something I never got from the Raimi films. And this WAS a more realistic film than Raimi's. Are you forgetting BONESAWWWWWWW?
July 3, 2012, 3:54 a.m. CST
drstrangelove, you think Nolan and co. aren't capable of cheesy crap? May I point you toward Exhibit A:
by The Krypton Kid
"Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now." Talked about a cheesy, forced line written to sound profound.
July 3, 2012, 3:55 a.m. CST
Brilliant flashes of color a Spidey film deserves?
by Brian
What does that even mean? There are some pretty dark stories in Spider-Man, in many iterations. This is not something new to the character. But you may have missed other significant parts of the film if you felt that's all it was.
July 3, 2012, 3:58 a.m. CST
mondobeyondo, who gives a freaking crap about "realistic." It's a comic book movie for crying out loud.
by The Krypton Kid
So a sense of wonder and fun is par for the course. The Nolan way of thinking is what nearly ruined comic book films until The Avengers saved the day. Oh, and by the way, in the original Spidey comics, before he became a hero Peter wrestled Crusher Hogan. Try to get a better grasp of what a comic book film should be.
July 3, 2012, 3:59 a.m. CST
Oh, I'm well aware of the darker Spidey stories, "Kraven's Last Hunt" for example. But this is the origin story. And Spidey's origin does not wallow in darkness.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 4 a.m. CST
If I wanted to watch a romance..I`d rather see a man-spider shootin fluid at big beefy guys.. hey wait a minute.!
by higgledyhiggles
July 3, 2012, 4:02 a.m. CST
Yes, there are moments of darkness in the origin, but it's not all that it is. Despite the tragedies that befall him, there is plenty of brightness in Pete's life.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 4:02 a.m. CST
"Alien movies without aliens"
by Shermdawg
Uh, we got a Alien movie with Aliens, and it was lousy because half the film was wasted setting up that bullshit JUST to show us how the initial phase of xenomorphic life begins.
July 3, 2012, 4:04 a.m. CST
"I also understand they're voluntarily participating in their own debasement: that's called having a family in Los Angeles"...Point goes to Mr. Beaks.
by seansarto
July 3, 2012, 4:07 a.m. CST
krypton kid
by Brian
Wallow in darkness seems a bit hyperbolic to me. This film had some dark moments- sure, but that definitely was not the entirety of the film. I think you're playing that note a little too hard. You missed the point I was making. The complaint was that they hadn't made it more realistic- I gave an example of how it was. If you look at some of my above comments I argued the same thing as you. Its a comic book movie and you'll have to forego realism. That doesn't mean you can't make your fantastical elements more grounded though- that's just a different take on the character. I think your problem is you have a very specific "grasp" of what a comic book film should be and if something doesn't meet that criteria, well then they're doing it wrong. Like the Crusher Hogan thing. Yeah, great, that was 50 years ago. In the Ultimate universe he ended up playing basketball after he got his powers. There's always going to be different tweaks to the origin story and that's not at all a bad thing. If they had done it like you said, you'd probably be complaining that they aren't doing anything new.
July 3, 2012, 4:13 a.m. CST
Moments of darkness in the origin but that's not all there was...
by Brian
Is exactly how you would describe this movie. Aside from the parents' disappearance, Uncle Ben, and Capt. Stacy's death, what really made the film seem dark to you? The overall tone wasn't as campy or light as Raimi's films, I guess I'll agree to that. But to label this film dark and brooding is shooting a little fast and loose in my opinion.
July 3, 2012, 4:13 a.m. CST
Basketball scene
by hulkiest
I haven't seen the movie yet but I did catch a clip of that irritating basketball scene on yahoo. And that made my heart sink. Cuz one of the missteps and/or lost opportunities that I felt Raimi's first Spiderman movie made was Peter beating up Flash Thompson. You beat up the toughest kid in school, people don't say, "You're a freak, Parker." Otherwise they might get beat up themselves. And in my mind M.J. wouldn't say, "You really freaked us out, Peter." (She's dating an alpha male jock bonehead and she's freaked out by a fight?!) She might say, "Man! I never knew you were such a Tiger." Get it? She and the writers actually use lines from the comic. But the main thing is DON'T SHOW PETER USING HIS POWERS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. Because then when Spiderman shows up, the logical conclusion is "Hey, I know who Spiderman is! He's Peter Parker, the kid who suddenly became super tough and amazingly agile." (And in Rami's case...wasn't Peter bitten by a spider on that class field trip?) And from what I'm reading they make the Uncle Ben death even more convoluted and after-thought-ish in the reboot. I hated how Raimi handled it. Just rushed it in to save time rather than the comic's perfectly realistic, "Ho-hum, weeks later, when Peter has the head the size of a hot air balloon." It's a pretty great and important moment in the comic. How can they keep screwing it up? I was hoping that the new film would correct such errors but it sounds like they not only repeat them, but make them worse. Ungh...Spiderman films...keep... beating my love of Spiderman... out of me.
July 3, 2012, 4:15 a.m. CST
I have a good grasp of what a Spider-Man film should be. ASM gets some stuff right, the Peter/Gwen relationship for instance, but otherwise it's pretty dark and grim stuff. Peter is an angry character in this film, angsty even, and I'm sorry, that's no
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 4:16 a.m. CST
I have a good grasp of what a Spider-Man film should be.
by The Krypton Kid
ASM gets some stuff right, the Peter/Gwen relationship for instance, but otherwise it's pretty dark and grim stuff. Peter is an angry character in this film, angsty even, and I'm sorry, that's not close to who Peter is.
July 3, 2012, 4:18 a.m. CST
mondobeyondo did you like the stan lee cameo?
by walt
of coooooooourse you did...for you are a fucking sheeple do you know that you just trashed his plot from amazing fantasy 15? of course you didnt...cuz you are a fraud get the fuck off this site
July 3, 2012, 4:19 a.m. CST
by Balkin Flabgurter
especially about the corporate obligations part (HARRY@AICN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
July 3, 2012, 4:20 a.m. CST
Angry character in this film?
by Brian
So he was just laying there on his web, playing games on his cell phone all the while FURIOUS BEYOND REASON? I thought that was just a lighthearted and cool thing for Spidey to do. I had no idea there were dark undertones to it.
July 3, 2012, 4:22 a.m. CST
And in the 60 years of Spider-Man, Peter is not angst-ridden over his biological parents. That is an invention of this most recent film.
by The Krypton Kid
Peter is content with Aunt May and Uncle Ben as his parents, and he is far more warm toward them than he is portrayed as being in this newest film. The Raimi films got Peter's relationship with Aunt May and Uncle Ben perfectly. Hell, in this new film Peter almost seems indifferent to them.
July 3, 2012, 4:23 a.m. CST
by Brian
I did like the cameo. Because I thought it was funny and it was cool seeing Spider-Man flip around in the background. So sheeple no, but maybe easily entertained. Don't really see your point there. How did I trash Amazing Fantasy? And a fraud? Really? You resorted to name-calling and all around douchbaggery pretty quickly there.
July 3, 2012, 4:25 a.m. CST
Sorry, but playing a smart phone game does not balance out his mostly brooding and angsty demeanor/behavior. And the way the film is shot is grim. Raimi managed to balance the light and dark aspects of Spidey. This films fails to do so.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 4:29 a.m. CST
As long as Sally Field doesn't launch into a five-minute speech about heroes, I'm in!!!
by 3D-Man
That speech in SM2 made my ears want to vomit.
July 3, 2012, 4:29 a.m. CST
The phone...
by Brian
Was just one example. You really think that's all there was to the movie? Really?
July 3, 2012, 4:32 a.m. CST
the krypton kid
by Brian
You're seriously going to compare Garfield's angst to Maquire's? If I drank every time they had Tobey cry, I'd luckily be dead and not in a shitty debate with you on AICN at 5:30 in the morning.
July 3, 2012, 4:33 a.m. CST
hulkiest you wouldve had parker go from variety show to variety show
by walt
or maybe just one...americas got talent...going for that mil, getting known by all of america then have ben killed at home, coincidentally by the same robber that would take a good half hour....and wouldnt work on film works in the comics cuz it takes a page and we didnt question the amazing coincidence
July 3, 2012, 4:34 a.m. CST
Very few light moments. But overall, the film and Peter himself were excessively grim. And grim is not Spider-Man. Grim things might happen to Peter, but such darkness does not define him.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 4:35 a.m. CST
"the way crowd reacts to his being on ceiling of train is even more retarded"
by buggerbugger
Do none of the people on the train connect a teenager who can stick to ceilings with the sudden appearance of a superhero who can stick to walls? I thought this reballsening of the series was supposed to be "gritty" or "grounded" or whatever the fuck the current buzzword is?
July 3, 2012, 4:37 a.m. CST
mondobeyondo, you're the one debating me. I'm just answering your questions. I'm fully content with my opinion and don't really need to prove myself like you seem to.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 4:38 a.m. CST
In Spider-Man Peter cried because Uncle Ben died. In Spider-Man 2 he was heart-broken because of MJ and hardships. But he was still a cheery guy. I don't count Spider-Man 3.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 4:40 a.m. CST
Maguire played Peter/Spider-Man with a necessary lightness, a necessary dorkiness, because that's integral to Peter. Sorry, but Garfield's too cool for school routine is incorrect.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 4:41 a.m. CST
"did you like the stan lee cameo?"
by buggerbugger
Personally, I hate every single one of the fucking things. Nothing pulls you out of a movie more than a pointless "Hey, look at the fan reference we just made! Don't you feel more clever than the rest of those dumb fucks in the audience who didn't get it?" It's like that fucking moronically "clever" reference in the 'Django Unchained' trailer with Franco Nero. "Hahaha, he played Django, but most of these Joe Public pricks won't get the joke, hahahaha, I'm clever!" Seriously, fuck off with this nonsense.
July 3, 2012, 4:48 a.m. CST
Finally, someone who doesn't bow to Sony pressure.
by Dale
Harry is gona be pissed at this review. :D I happen to love it. Thanks for being strait up.
July 3, 2012, 4:53 a.m. CST
mondobeyondo with your comments about tobey crying, you have outed yourself as a plant
by walt
the stuff you hated from 02 was right out of the comic, but you dont know that cuz you are a fucking employee of a fucking marketing company go and fuck thyself
July 3, 2012, 4:57 a.m. CST
scratchmonkey i liked the nero thing, and django is a one shot
by walt
i liked the "try to find hitch" in this movie...in all the hitch movies as a kid, i loved the cameos in the then big budgeted films but the stan lee stuff is obvious and tired especially when, with each one, his tales of how he created everything in the marvel uni become more convoluted and evil
July 3, 2012, 4:57 a.m. CST
>>>>'Sony, realizing their mistake, has brought in Alex Kurtzman and Bob Orci to write the next chapter in this half-hearted, but quite pricey, reimagining of the most joyous character in the Marvel canon.'
by Kai_Mah'gra
Right. Because as we all know so well, what better way to inject a healthy dose of class, intelligence and all-around upgrade quality into your movie than to hire the hacks.....e.....I'm sorry, the braintrust that brought us such classic masterpieces as the Transformers franchise and who are right now as we speak, bending over the Star Trek franchise and shoving that flaming dildo dipped into battery acid and wrapped with a barbed wire all the way up into the supple ass? Other than that, your review is spot on. Great job Sony; what better way to ruin the sequel (hahahaha) than to hire those 2. Why not just go for the whole hack and hire The Bay to complete the trifecta of clusterfuck.
July 3, 2012, 5:06 a.m. CST
I just saw it and LOVED it! They FINALLY got Spiderman and Peter Parker right!
by antonphd
I could nit pick about changes to a couple of details, but I am not a geek, so, I didn't give a fuck. The film got everything that mattered right. They got what makes Spiderman and Peter Parker so appealing. I enjoyed Raimi's Spiderman films (even the last), but they were cups half full at best. Finally we have the inventor and the smart ass in addition to the good guy with the world on his shoulders. Now he's Spiderman instead of Superman.
July 3, 2012, 5:07 a.m. CST
The Amazing Spiderman is the Craig 007 films as opposed to Raimi's being the Brosnan 007 films.
by antonphd
July 3, 2012, 5:12 a.m. CST
Please. Raimi's Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 captured all the colors and multi-faceted spirit of Peter Parker and his world. Those two films captured both the tragedy and whimsy. This film mostly dwelled in darkness and hardly resembled Spidey's world.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 5:12 a.m. CST
I'm super torn
by mukhtabi
I have cash to watch one movie tomorrow. Ted or The Amazing Spiderman. Ugh, must decide!!
July 3, 2012, 5:13 a.m. CST
I'm not seeing this. And AVENGERS is overrated.
by Autodidact
July 3, 2012, 5:13 a.m. CST
Please. Raimi's Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 captured all the colors and multi-faceted spirit of Peter Parker and his world.
by The Krypton Kid
Those two films captured both the tragedy and whimsy. This new film mostly dwelled in darkness and hardly resembled Spidey's world.
July 3, 2012, 5:14 a.m. CST
Anyone who has seen this movie, please answer
by Dead_Kate_Moss
It looked like they were going to get one thing right and up Spidey's wise-crack count. But none of the reviews I've read have mentioned anything about that. Apart from the clip with him joking about the small knife, which they showed early, is Spidey more of a joker this time?
July 3, 2012, 5:16 a.m. CST
Garfield got Peter's intellect right. Sometimes he felt like Peter Parker. But it was an uneven performance and not completely Peter. Ultimately, the script, direction, and overall tone is what failed.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 5:19 a.m. CST
I'll see it once (as cheaply as possible) for Garfield as Spiderman.
by UltimaRex
And then wait for the three to four times I'll watch TDKR.
July 3, 2012, 5:19 a.m. CST
Are there any scenes where he doesn't take his mask off?
by Autodidact
July 3, 2012, 5:19 a.m. CST
Are there any scenes where he swings without going "WOO-HOO" or some shit?
by Autodidact
July 3, 2012, 5:20 a.m. CST
Armie Hammer for JLA's Superman.
by UltimaRex
Since I'm on a social network trip.
July 3, 2012, 5:21 a.m. CST
I agree Scatchmonkey, cameos are inane
by biscuithead
Don't do it filmmakers. It's really not cool.
July 3, 2012, 5:24 a.m. CST
Please explain to me
by Glenn
I just watched Transformers 3 on netflix; it took me 6 days to get through it (no joke, it exhausted me). What happened? What was the story? And why did it have the ending from Ghostbusters? I think the stories for these last two movies were: Shia LeBouf is a kid that...and ILM. Something like that. Oh, for clarity, will it ever come my way?
July 3, 2012, 5:28 a.m. CST
Kryptonite Kid, A History of Violence Is a Comic Book Movie
by Sidepocket
I agree about what you said about Spider-Man but what you said about how "comic book movies should be the way I see them" and you talking like your fucking Stan Lee went directly over the line. Comic Books are what they are, there are no "all comics must have color and Robert Downy JR cracking not-funny jokes" or "Comic Book movies must be serious business with a heroin overdose to sucker in the Oscars." The best thing a Comic Book movie can be is to support everything that makes the comic a success as much as possible. Batman all the way from the original Detective Comics was a Noir, grounded, social reflective series of Comic Books and that is why Nolan movies have nailed it. (I also loved Burton's first Batman movie and the Batman 60's TV show). Unless you are covering the Venom Ark, Ben's Death, Gwen's Death or Spider-Man Reign, there should be no reason to copy Batman's style of story because that is not Spider-Man. Spider-Man is about learning to chose the right thing to do over the selfish thing to do, and have a little bit of fun doing it when you are doing it right. That and a bunch of plot bullshit (the parents origin, the destiny story arch) are the real reasons AS-M does not do well. Also FYI, I really hate the "EXPLOSIONS, BOOBS AND THE AMERICAN WAY" style of The Avengers and Iron Man movies. It's overdone now and I really liked Thor and Captain America, they were too good to be put in that faux-Michael Bay bullshit...
July 3, 2012, 5:36 a.m. CST
sidewinderpocket, I'm saying be true to the source material and the nature of the title character. Not a lot to ask for. I'm also saying don't impose dark and brooding just because it seems like the it/cache thing to do.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 5:36 a.m. CST
Thought it was FUCKING great! Sony hit the jackpot with Stone!
by jackson healy
And loved the C. Thomas Howell mega-cameo! And Lizard was amazing! Gotta see it again!
July 3, 2012, 5:38 a.m. CST
And Spider-Man's origin was not steeped in angst/darkness as this film, which is an origin story, attempts to be.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 5:42 a.m. CST
"i liked the "try to find hitch" in this movie...in all the hitch movies"
by buggerbugger
Oddly enough, I like Hitchcock's cameos. Maybe it's because they're mostly subtle, like a silhouette in a glass door, or inventive, like his photo in the 'Lifeboat' newspaper? But all of these "Look, it's Stan Lee/Lou Ferrigno/Franco Nero" things? They simply grate on me. It never feels anything more than the filmmaker saying "See, I've been a fan of this for years, just like you, please love my movie because we're both geeks!"
July 3, 2012, 5:44 a.m. CST
Lamest Plant Award Goes To.... jackson healy!
by Dead_Kate_Moss
Seriously, you have to put more effort in than that or you'll never get ahead in the Plant Industry.
July 3, 2012, 5:52 a.m. CST
Code in the review Beaks!
by Mister McClane
What's with the italics code __ in the review text Beaks? Come on. Good concise review though, pretty harsh, I like it, the film made me pretty angry for reasons nothing to do with the lead actors sadly. Poorly poorly written and plotted movie, and the Lizard is one shitty villain with no fucking motivation! And yes, 'it's never fun' is the biggest problem I had with it. Was just bored, and I am a life-long Spidey fan. Very depressing.
July 3, 2012, 5:57 a.m. CST
I can't get excited to see this. Whereas with the Raimi ones I couldn't wait
by smudgewhat
The first 2 Raimis are pretty much perfect. The sense of wonder is totally communicated and the whole thing is fun. Think of Dafoe chewing the scenery so gleefully. Doc Ock? Perfect. Yeah so part 3 was messy but I dug Topher as Venom.
July 3, 2012, 6:37 a.m. CST
by UltimaRex
Why on earth do you want to know? Just play the "is she wearing heels or boots in that shot" game I was enjoying.
July 3, 2012, 6:43 a.m. CST
I've been watching Raimi's flicks
by FlyingToupee
Haven't been able to bring myself to watch Spidey 3 yet. But even the first movie, flaws and all, is superior to TASM. It just has more heart, and is faithful to the mythos. TASM is not terrible; the acting is particularly good, and it's nice to see Gwen Stacy in all of her hotness. But the whole purpose of Spidey is buried in this movie; they've turned him into Batman, a vengeance driven avenger, rather than a boy who becomes a man when he realizes his own selfishness helped to create the situation that killed his uncle. Not a bad film, but I can't recommend paying full price to see it. I was fortunate to be allowed to go with a friend at a press screening, and I'm glad I saw it. But I'm also glad I'm not anxiously waiting in line today, only to be disappointed.
July 3, 2012, 7:21 a.m. CST
The only thing worse than Dancing Peter Parker...
by StatelyWayneManor
...is Rad Skateboarding Peter Parker.
July 3, 2012, 7:33 a.m. CST
And yet Harry loves it.
by knowthyself
Harry loves a lot of crapola.
July 3, 2012, 7:36 a.m. CST
I am a Spider-Man expert!!!
by Thunderbolt Ross
Your first paragraph had me just about to click away - "jocular tone more in line with the '60s-'70s comics" - but I mushed on. Well-written review, ultimately.
July 3, 2012, 7:39 a.m. CST
And then he get's the powers of a "SPIDER". how can anyone buy into that. It could never happen.
by cookylamoo
And yet people complain that Peter can sneak into a building.
July 3, 2012, 7:40 a.m. CST
...we're all just waiting for dark knight rises....
by knowthyself
July 3, 2012, 7:42 a.m. CST
The sequel should retell the origin.
by knowthyself
Because we can't get enough origin.
July 3, 2012, 7:48 a.m. CST
Sony needs a Joss Whedon
by Steve Lamarre
otherwise just give Spiderman to Marvel studios and quit wasting everyone's time. Sony is currently going down the same road of epic fail that Fox studios did with Fantastic Four, Wolverine, etc. This is particularly awful because we're in the age of Avengers, and studios are expected to be more faithful and savvy. Redemption is not impossible, but it's frustrating when audiences have to wait three years for the next chance, especially for something that should be a no-brainer to begin with.
July 3, 2012, 7:54 a.m. CST
They should make an origin trilogy where the first movie is just Peter chatting up Aunt May and crying a lot
by Autodidact
July 3, 2012, 7:55 a.m. CST
krypton kid, absolutely right about Raimi's Spiderman 1 and 2
by P
July 3, 2012, 7:56 a.m. CST
So it seems like the film talk all the chances in the wrong places.
by knowthyself
What's the point of doing mechanical webshooters if you're just going to poop all over the rest of the original comic elements of Spiderman?
July 3, 2012, 8:05 a.m. CST
I'd honestly love a Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends movie
by Autodidact
Or maybe I wouldn't. Maybe I should grow the fuck up!
July 3, 2012, 8:15 a.m. CST
by Dead_Kate_Moss
July 3, 2012, 8:22 a.m. CST
orci and kurtzman are writing the next one?
by chainsaw autotune
i feel my brain going numb a l r e a d
July 3, 2012, 8:33 a.m. CST
Speedoman, Speedoman. Does whatever a Speedo can.
by StatelyWayneManor
I was wondering how they woyuld explain the new suit.
July 3, 2012, 8:52 a.m. CST
Looks like it's up to you Nolan
by SkitZo
And to think I was actually looking forward to the movies this summer...pfffft
July 3, 2012, 9:03 a.m. CST
Spider-Man goes emo for 15 minutes in Spider-Man 3 and everybody freaks out. But when he's emo for a whole movie people love it cause it's "dark".
by cookylamoo
July 3, 2012, 9:04 a.m. CST
Transformers 2?!!!!
by J Miggidy
While they have writing credits it was during the writers stike and it shows. It wasn't their fault totally. Plus Kruger came in to help with that script as well. Those guys have written some good stuff including the Star Trek reboot/prequel. That was a fun movie, even for a non trekkie like me.
July 3, 2012, 9:12 a.m. CST
Budget $215M? Answer me this...
by Dead_Kate_Moss
How much does it need to comfortably gross to guarantee a sequel? Doesn't it usually need to be at least double the domestic gross? Will this take $500 million? I know some of you know this shit well, I don't.
July 3, 2012, 9:14 a.m. CST
Andy Griffith Died
by eric haislar
July 3, 2012, 9:24 a.m. CST
eli_cash = PLANT
by Brian Tomasch
July 3, 2012, 9:24 a.m. CST
chilled_feline_solution = PLANT
by Brian Tomasch
July 3, 2012, 9:25 a.m. CST
dead_kate_moss = PLANT
by Brian Tomasch
July 3, 2012, 9:25 a.m. CST
waltkovacs = PLANT
by Brian Tomasch
July 3, 2012, 9:28 a.m. CST
the_truth_hurts, it's like the Happening up in this bitch
by P
July 3, 2012, 9:29 a.m. CST
zombie_fatigue = CORRECT
by Brian Tomasch
July 3, 2012, 9:32 a.m. CST
The reboot was a win win for Sony
by seasider
They knew they were gonna piss off some fans and critics but not enough to to make the film a box office flop. They were also able to make a movie a lot cheaper than it would've been had they gone ahead with Raimi's Spiderman 4.
July 3, 2012, 9:45 a.m. CST
I can prove I'm not a plant, if yr serious
by Dead_Kate_Moss
I've been here since 2000, I remember the fake SW prequel leak with Grando Calrissian and the black lightsabres, I remember the fake Aliens vs Predator reviews, I remember and was friends with BadAssUncleFucker, who sadly passed away... so no plant me.
July 3, 2012, 10:02 a.m. CST
by Dan
July 3, 2012, 10:04 a.m. CST
I'm glad to see Raimi's eyerape done....
by Dan
The man is about as subtle as a heart attack. Everything was bashed over the head...
July 3, 2012, 10:13 a.m. CST
saw it lastnight sure was fun to watch spidey swinging in 3d pretty frigin cool
by skiff
so far this sumer i am liking alot of stuff avengers prometheus and now spiderman. Batman looks like a total downer like I will need an antidepressant to watch it.
July 3, 2012, 10:26 a.m. CST
This would have worked so much better if . .
by Clark Kunt
. . they'd done it like this: http://tiny-url.org/Spiderman
July 3, 2012, 10:29 a.m. CST
Hey am I invisible????
by Dead_Kate_Moss
How much does it need to make to guarantee a sequel? Simple question! Thanks x
July 3, 2012, 10:42 a.m. CST
Don't worry, Dead_Plant_Moss
by SergeantStedenko
You'll get your sequel.
July 3, 2012, 10:43 a.m. CST
yup, im a plant...you got me
by walt
not sure who im working for, as i pretty much hate everything currently in release
July 3, 2012, 10:57 a.m. CST
I don't want a sequel! I'm not a plant!
by Dead_Kate_Moss
Oh ok I'm a plant. Go see this movie/don't see this shit! delete depending who I am supposed to be working for. But telling me how much the movie needs to make doesn't help anyone does it? I'm just curious (and hope it doesn't cos I don't want a sequel - or is that a double-bluff? yes it is. or is it? ad nauseum. HOW MUUUUCH!!!???)
July 3, 2012, 11:33 a.m. CST
flyingtoupee, well and accurately said.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 11:46 a.m. CST
by Brian
"i pretty much hate everything"- if anyone has outed themselves, its you. I am no plant, just a fan of the character.
July 3, 2012, 11:47 a.m. CST
krypton kid
by Brian
Nah, he definitely came more into himself after he became Spider-Man. He wasn't the nerdy kid from high school forever.
July 3, 2012, 11:51 a.m. CST
Read the books. While he definitely came more into his own in college and beyond, he still had the awkward dork charm. JMS' magnificent run more than proves that.
by The Krypton Kid
July 3, 2012, 12:15 p.m. CST
You think about these things when a movie fails to engage you early.
by MacReady452
or when you are a grown man trying to assign meaning to an allegory crafted for 13 year olds. Get a grip.
July 3, 2012, 12:19 p.m. CST
Beaks' Review Is Completely On Point
by HateThaNet
The night action scenes look quite good, but the rehashed origin story, weak plot, and mediocre performances bring this movie down.
July 3, 2012, 12:29 p.m. CST
RE: " Sony, realizing their mistake, has brought in Alex Kurtzman and Bob Orci to write the next chapter in this half-hearted, but quite pricey, reimagining of the most joyous character in the Marvel canon. "
by Stalkeye
Buahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!! *Cough*nailinthecoffinforSpidey*cough*
July 3, 2012, 12:49 p.m. CST
Here's my take.
by BlaGyver
Here on AICN, we TBers tend to deal in extremes. It's either a fucking masterpiece or the worst piece of shit ever. This is a movie that really can't be looked at like that. There's a lot of good. There's a lot of not-so-good. GOOD 1. I'm relatively fresh out of high school (graduated two years ago) and can tell you that the whole "jocks vs. nerds" thing doesn't exist in as pure a form as it used to. That's changed a lot since Peter Parker was created. Personally, while Spidey has always been the superhero I related to most, I thought this was a representation of him I could relate to more as it seemed to be more derived from the modern high school experience. The scene where Flash throws a basketball at Peter's head and then just makes an obnoxious quip, and the way that Peter responded to it, was way more in line with what happens today. Nobody's lunch money gets stolen, nobody gets beat up or shoved in lockers (possibly the only scene they don't get right is when Flash is beating up the random kid, and then Peter). It's just the little things. The little quips, the occasional shove. The fact of the matter is that while I would never pull the George Lucas "IT'S A MOVIE FOR KIDS" bullshit, Spider-Man's early stories are high school stories and that aspect of the movie, between handling the younger characters and the actual scenes in school, was handled perfectly. 2. On that subject, Garfield is pretty damn perfect in the character. I don't know what movie you guys saw, but the one I caught last night didn't have him brooding every few minutes. Garfield has said in a lot of interviews that he played Peter as "a bundle of nervous energy", which I think, again, was a good take on the character for a modern age. He doesn't necessarily have to be a buttoned-up taped-glasses nerd to be unpopular. He just has to be unbelievably awkward and pretty much incapable of holding regular conversation. And Garfield as Spider-Man himself was perfect. I love Rami's first two movies, but with maybe two or three exceptions, casting was never the strongest thing they had going for them. 3. Similarly, Emma Stone is pretty great as Gwen. Gwen is one of my favorite female characters in all of comics and she did a pretty great job. 4. The action sequences are really great. Almost wish I could go see it in 3D (last night was 2D) because they'd really be something. 5. Flash was really great in this movie. I didn't like that in Raimi's movies he was basically relegated to a one-dimensional jock. This depiction seems more true to the comics in that he's a dick, but he's not a raging fucking asshole. The scene where Peter pins him against the locker was really good. 6. We'll get to Uncle Ben's actual death later, but I thought that the aftermath, that being the way that Peter handles it, was good. In short, most of the good in the movie comes from the way that Peter, Gwen, high school as a whole, and the teenage relationships in the movie are handled. THE BAD 1. The Lizard. For the first half of the movie, I was really excited because The Lizard is possibly my favorite Spidey villain and they seemed to be handling him well. After the first transformation, it all goes to shit. Nothing he does makes any sense and the tragic nature of the character is lost. That was a bummer. 2. I mentioned this about a month ago, but the New York aesthetic is lost. Aside from maybe two shots of the skyline, this doesn't feel like a movie that takes place in New York City. That's a shame, because it's a really damn important aspect of the character. The exception to this is the scene with the crane operators. Raimi's "New Yorker" bits were pretty damn bad. Webb's was pretty on-point. No bullshit "WE'RE NEW YORKERS, YEAH" stuff. Just "Spidey needs help, let's get him some." 3. Uncle Ben's relationship with Peter was pretty non-existent. Aunt May's was a little bit better but still not quite there. This made his death scene fall pretty flat. 4. Most of my other issues with the movie come down to the desire it has to set up sequels. Here's the thing: I don't care who's involved in it, when it comes out, what advanced reviews say, whatever. If a Spider-Man movie is in theaters, it is going to make a shit ton of money, MORE than enough to guarantee a sequel. Let's not forget that until The Dark Knight made Batman so popular, Spider-Man was the most financially profitable superhero in all of entertainment. You don't have to have three cliffhangers (Peter's parents, Oscorp's plotting, and Uncle Ben's killer still at large) to make people get in line for the next movie. They're gonna see it either way, so at least wrap up two of those with maybe a little something to tease the next movie. 5. Which brings me to my biggest issue with Amazing Spider-Man: The post-credits scene is the COCKTEASE OF THE GODDAMNED CENTURY. I might just feel this way because I was told that Norman Osborn appears, so maybe I was expecting something more, but goddamn. That shit made me mad. If there's ONE thing to take from Marvel's movies (there's a lot, but bear with me) in terms of how they set up sequels, it's that their post-credits scenes are not slight teasers. They're REVEALS. Iron Man: Hey, I'm Samuel L. Jackson and shit's about to get big. Thor: Hey, check it out, Selvig is being manipulated by Loki. Captain America: Yo, check out the FIRST FUCKING TEASER FOR THE AVENGERS. And Avengers? Guess what? THANOS IS COMING. Dammit. Don't show me a fucking shadowy figure that MIGHT be Norman Osborn. Get your shit together and cast him under the radar. It's been proven that that can be done. I don't want a shadowy figure basically restating a plot point we already knew about. I want Christoph Waltz showing up and expanding the subplot about Peter's parents, or maybe teasing what he has in store next. I fucking HATED this stinger. That's about all I have to say. There's good and bad in this movie but it's definitely worth at least the price of 2D admission (well....it was 8 bucks for me and I don't mind. I know it's more expensive elsewhere).
July 3, 2012, 12:51 p.m. CST
Also, Dear Sony: Benicio Del Toro for Kraven the Hunter
by BlaGyver
Royalties are unnecessary, just get me a nice fat scholarship because college is expensive.
July 3, 2012, 12:55 p.m. CST
And I think the biggest uphill battle they have, at least as far as pleasing me goes...
by BlaGyver
Is recasting J. Jonah Jameson. JK Simmons was plucked off of the pages of the comic in his portrayal.
July 3, 2012, 12:59 p.m. CST
FUCK sony and their movie studio executives
by MISTER RUMBLES
Seriously. They can't even make a decent TV anymore let alone a movie.
July 3, 2012, 1:06 p.m. CST
I'll pass on this and hold out for TDKR instead.
by Stalkeye
Sincerely, A fan of Marvel.
July 3, 2012, 1:26 p.m. CST
This must be the first review of The Amazing Spider-Man that isn't about the Sam Raimi films
by flax
July 3, 2012, 1:33 p.m. CST
Yeah I think Raimi doesn't get shit on enough for the garbage action in Spider-Man... it got better in 2 and 3 though
by Autodidact
The way Spider-Man and goblin stand toe-to-toe exchanging slow-mo punches is just embarassing to watch.
July 3, 2012, 2:17 p.m. CST
It was BORING!
by Logan_1973
I'm not the type that needs Bay-like action all the time, but man this film was missing something. I found no real hook and was flat-out bored. You know you have a real problem when you're not having fun in a Spidey movie.
July 3, 2012, 2:59 p.m. CST
by Jared Parker
July 3, 2012, 3:23 p.m. CST
by Chairman_Kaga
"Let's not forget that until The Dark Knight made Batman so popular..." I think Batman's (89) 250 million domestic (498 million adjusted) made Batman popular twenty years before The Dark Knight.
July 3, 2012, 3:42 p.m. CST
Wish someone would've spoiled...
by repo_man
...the fact that there's a fucking coldplay song in the middle of this film. That really didn't help. Nor did the scene with the lizard having a Norman Osborne / Green Goblin style conversation with himself in the sewers. Seriously, if you're going to make stupid and completely fucking pointless changes to the costume, the characters and their motivations to distance this film from Sam Raimi's, why the fuck would you copy an entire scene from the first Spider-Man film ?! It wasn't even a good scene in Spider-Man, here, it's fucking embarrassing.
July 3, 2012, 3:43 p.m. CST
you guys crack me up when you talk about orci and kurtzman
by walt
i wont see any of their soulless movies...but all of you do you all raved about st 2009
July 3, 2012, 4:06 p.m. CST
There Will Be Spiders
by animatronicmojo
So, he gets bit by not one, but more than one, spider this time!? ZOMG never saw that coming. But wait, doesn't that make him "Spiders-Man?"
July 3, 2012, 4:45 p.m. CST
This movie will bank overseas
by shane peterson
not sure about stateside though.
July 3, 2012, 4:45 p.m. CST
wlatkovacs damn right I will rave about JJ Trek
by shane peterson
I enjoyed it. Feck off.
July 3, 2012, 4:50 p.m. CST
So what's next...
by Michael Morning
SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN and then WEB OF SPIDER-MAN?
July 3, 2012, 4:56 p.m. CST
How much does it need to gross to guarantee sequel?
by Dead_Kate_Moss
I ask yet again, rather than googling the answer
July 3, 2012, 5 p.m. CST
Amazing Spiderman:First Class?
by james
I was just woundering if anyone else thinks it would have been better to do what X-MEN First Class did.Reboot the series of films by having them take place within the years of the comics first release(somewhere between 1962-1969.This would alleviate any issues regarding technology like cell phones,internet,and actually use a none digital camera without looking out of place.
July 3, 2012, 5:22 p.m. CST
except for news cast, how could anyone tell that it was the 60s? i hated the movie
by walt
the clothes and hair were all wrong. most of the film felt wrong i wish they had used children of the atom as the template
July 3, 2012, 5:25 p.m. CST
tazzman so you like soulless shite
by walt
bet you were first in line for transformers, the commercial and jizzed in your pants when optimus prime spoke for the first time too many parents in america didnt use the belt
July 3, 2012, 5:29 p.m. CST
SPIDER-MAN!!! NOT Spiderman! THERE'S A FUCKING HYPHEN!!!!!
by Dead_Kate_Moss
July 3, 2012, 5:44 p.m. CST
by Jared Parker
andrew looks AND acts like peter/spider-man
July 3, 2012, 5:49 p.m. CST
jp1, he does?
by walt
the parker of the comics is a total dick with a hoodie?
July 3, 2012, 6:14 p.m. CST
Since they had to make a spider-man movie again...
by brianusn
I would of made the story when he goes through that portal in space and goes to the other universe with the nano-tech suit. That probably still would be a piece of crap. But hey....better than Prometheus......I'm still pissed about that. Summer of crap movies! 1. Prometheus....wtf was this piece of crap. I want Aliens not some anti-God garbage with a 2 minute look at an Alien being made. 2. Abe Lincoln Vampire Humper.....wtf, really? Would of rather watched Van Helsing again. 3. Dark Shadows...wtf, a movie based on an old tv soap....Zzzzzzzzz 4. Battleship....wtf, what a piece of trash. 5. Men in Black 3....wtf, Tommy Lee Jones looked like a corpse. Crap 6. Snow White.....wtf....bad enough we got to put up with that chick in Twilight and her ugly ass and bad acting. 7. Oh don't forget the new Pirhana movie...hahah joke. 8. Chernobyl Diaries....wtf hahahahaha $%^ck it im done.
July 3, 2012, 6:26 p.m. CST
brianusn unfair to the original dark shadows and the 3d biting fish movie
by walt
the original ds spawned diary of a vampire/lestadt, the vampire chronicles and yes, even buffy...lots of firsts in that show and the piranha movie was goofy, but fun
July 3, 2012, 6:40 p.m. CST
by Jared Parker
what was tobey maguire, but a HUGE DICK??? think before you question somebody
July 3, 2012, 6:40 p.m. CST
Great review...
by ThulsaBoom
...it literally sounded exactly like my apprehension coming true. Will. Not. Support.
July 3, 2012, 6:48 p.m. CST
by Jared Parker
do you hate every film that came out this summer? BATTLESHIP was worthless, but i liked SNOW HITE AND THE HUNTSMAN, PROMETHEUS and DARK SHADOWS. i think you are a very bitter person
July 3, 2012, 6:48 p.m. CST
jp1, Garfield's performance is not who Peter Parker is
by The Krypton Kid
I'll repost what I wrote in Harry's Review: Garfield could have been the definitive Parker because he has the perfect look for the character. But his performance is far too angry and angsty. Yes, Peter is bullied, yes Peter is underestimated and unfairly ridiculed, but he is still a happy teen with a positive disposition. He is a reflection of his aunt and uncle who are strong positive influences. Garfield's Peter Parker is far too angry and detached from his aunt and uncle. He almost acts as if they are burden to him. There is no sense of warmth from the performance. It's totally wrong. The true Peter Parker adores his aunt and uncle and has no angst toward them. If you think I'm wrong, go read the source material. Oh yeah, and Garfield played Parker as far too cool. He didn't capture Pete's innate but charming dorkiness.
July 3, 2012, 6:50 p.m. CST
And Harry did not 'love' it...
by ThulsaBoom
...we have to learn to read between Harry's lines people! The headline clearly (as clear as Harry gets anyways) states that TASM, "almost nearly impossibly amazing, but is actually just sometimes amazing & mostly cool..." Key words: 'almost,' 'but,' 'just,' 'sometimes,' 'mostly.' i.e. THIS MOVIE IS SHIT Whether Harry is an enthusiast, or a sell-out, he'll let you know if a movie is a classic by just about anyone's point of view. If it's not a flawless victory in Harry's eyes, it's going to be shit to the more tempered perspective a lot of the time. For the record I love Harry's reviews, but especially when they are met by reviews like this, and the work of The Kidd. Cheers Beaks!
July 3, 2012, 7:20 p.m. CST
i saw ASM and enjoyed it so suck it haters!
by rben
July 3, 2012, 7:28 p.m. CST
I'd love to see some more period piece comic movies
by Autodidact
If they make another FANTASTIC FOUR it should be a reboot set in the sixties and do it right this time and not so low-budget goofy. And have Peyton Reed direct (the DOWN WITH LOVE guy).
July 3, 2012, 7:43 p.m. CST
Im indifferent, but Im not happy either
by Kakii
The good bits : Peter and Gwen, webshooters, the action sequences and web swinging. Everything else was meh if not shit. Lizard CGI was terrible, he may have well fought Jar Jar or something of the sci fy channel like the 2 headed shark! Plus Connors is meant to be like Jekyll and Hyde not just some Dr gone a bit mad. For everything Raimi got right these guys did wrong and for everything wrong they got near to right, a complete lets put 2 fingers up at Raimi and screw the fans. I dont hate the film but just felt nothing for it either. It ranks on par or just a tad better than spiderman 3! At least they didnt prison gang rape spidey on screen as they did with Wolverine!
July 3, 2012, 9:02 p.m. CST
wow, busiek loved it and wants astro city to get the same treatment
by walt
i am dumbfounded
July 3, 2012, 10 p.m. CST
Is Snyder the only one who knows how to use the cinematic medium to enhance the hero's journey?
by Boober
Without arrogantly corrupting it under the guise of "vision"?
July 3, 2012, 10:13 p.m. CST
Two takeaway quotes here: "...it's never fun" and "...a movie no one will ever love."
by DoctorWho?
Dammit! I keep hearing that general assessment one too many times. Just might keep me at home at this point.
July 3, 2012, 11:48 p.m. CST
Great collection of reviews here
by Ray
July 4, 2012, 12:24 a.m. CST
Saw it earlier today
by Anthony
I liked it. Garfield is a better Peter Parker AND Spider-Man. Suck it, haters.
July 4, 2012, 12:35 a.m. CST
Down to 72% on Rotten Tomatoes and only 174 reviews. Spider-Man 3 is 63% with 242 reviews. Not looking good.
by American Mythos
Like I said before, this will level off at around Spider-Man 3's critical love/hate ratio before it's all over, or if these numbers keep up it could fall further. Could we see a Hulk/Incredible Hulk situation here? Another reboot in a few years with new stars that glosses over the origin and gets right to the meat of the story? I guess it all depends on the box office now.
July 4, 2012, 12:38 a.m. CST
Ohh, now down to 71%
by American Mythos
July 4, 2012, 1:05 a.m. CST
One Word.
by Iahael
July 4, 2012, 1:25 a.m. CST
It HAD TO be another origin story
by centilope
It always has to be because that's one extra movie, which means, if the movie is successful, additional hundreds of millions of dollars, half a billion or more, just from ticket sales. Not to mention merchandising and all that. You expect a studio to say no to THAT?
July 4, 2012, 2:27 a.m. CST
This could have easily been accomplished with Webb, Garfield and Stone as a continuation, not an origin story...
by American Mythos
The elements for a darker, mopier Peter were already established by Spider-Man 3. Gwen Stacy was even introduced. It might not have been a perfect film, but a lot of it could have gone without mention in Spider-Man 4, hell, it could have even been called The Amazing Spider-Man. Just pick up with Peter (Garfield) sans Mary Jane, dealing with an already established Kurt Connors/Lizard/Peter dynamic, with Gwen (Stone) waiting in the wings. The film wouldn't even have to have addressed Mary Jane, at least not for awhile, leaving the unmentioned events of SM3 tied to her absence in Peter's life. A film like that, not just another reboot, would have brought a lot of naysayers around, myself included.
July 4, 2012, 2:28 a.m. CST
I also assume "supermans" is a plant
by daggor
A good plant, but I don't like pointing out the giveaways. I say "no thanks" to a Twilight-inspired Spidey with bullshit secret origins. The spider bite was an accident. Peter Parker is an average guy given extraordinary powers. Uncle Ben's "great power" line is what fuels his decision to be a superhero, not some new scene with a kid. Aunt May has silver hair in a tight bun. The costume has big eyes and the girlfriend has bouncy boobs. Get with it.
July 4, 2012, 2:29 a.m. CST
Oof. Someone used the term "hater."
by daggor
July 4, 2012, 2:30 a.m. CST
Re: "haters"
by daggor
If someone that doesn't like this new Spider-Man film is a "hater," then I suppose someone that loves it is a "dumbass."
July 4, 2012, 3:28 a.m. CST
Bullshit, gone is the campy bs, whiny MJ, Parker yelling MJ everyminute, Campbell cameos from hell....
by Manuel Lopez
These reviewer is full of shit. Garfield is the best Peter Parker, shy, awkward, noble, horny and flawed. This movie is very good, good enough story, different, gone is the horrible overdone camp that Raimi inserted time and time again, the annoying, cartoony mishaps that Peter endured, the 'fuck there he is again' Campbell cameos, the bitchy MJ. This is Spiderman like it should have been done from the start. Stop listening to online reviewers and people just go see the movie yourselves. This movie blows Thor and Captain America, Iron Man II out of the water. And finally, The Avengers is fucken overrated, let that go already you nerds.
July 4, 2012, 3:54 a.m. CST
hoo sounds like....
by thebastard
someone(mlopez) is either trolling or is super defensive about bashing a movie that nobody was really excited about anyway. Spider-Man 3 was such a horrible disaster, I don't think anyone really wanted more Spider-Man. Don't get me wrong, I love the web head as much as anyone else, but after all the nonsense of Spider-Man 3. Most of which was pressure from the studio to inject Topher Grace fat, into a already suitably fatty spidey movie. I haven't seen the movie yet, I may like it...we'll see. I have my doubts though
July 4, 2012, 6:56 a.m. CST
Do people even read comics? This was a fucking disaster
by the artist formerly known as messi
Seriously. This was less like Spider-man than even Raimi's movies. People are saying Andrew nailed Peter and Spider-man? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?! He was nothing like the two. He was a worse Peter than Tobey and as Spider-man he was more or less the same, still shitty. I realized during the movie just how boring it was, it was no fun at all. I knew this was going to happen as they were going all Nolan esque for a character that is meant to be the most fun in the Marvel U. This is a disgrace and a total fuck you to the character. how fucking hard is it to make a Spider-man movie? He is the easiest character to adapt, you don't have to change just about anything because he just works. You know what this film felt like? It felt like nobody had read a fucking comic book, it felt like the writers, directors and producers had browsed on wikipedia about Spider-man(not even read but browsed) and then made their own shit up. In the past 2 weeks I got through over 30 issues of Ultimate Spider-man and caught up to the latest issue and over 40 issues of Amazing Spider-man which ended with the conclusion of the Brand New Day arc so Spidey is fresh on my mind and his characterization is fresh in my mind and what I saw on screen was not Spidey. The wisecracks? Where? The mopey Peter who rides a skateboard, that's not Peter. Fucking fail. Peter is a bright fun kid, he moves on and deals witrh things no matter how bad his life is. But skateboarding and having a few decks? Now Uncle Ben and Aunt May have money too? Money troubles have always been a part of Peter's life. Making Captain Stacy a cunt instead of a guy who supports Spidey and then killing him off, without the actual stigma from the comics where Gwen blames Peter. Fuck this movie was rushed. His parents, it was made to be such a big deal then skipped over and then left for another movie except UNCLE BEN AND AUNT MAY ARE HIS PARENTS. His biological parents are irrelevant in the long term, Peter has no emotional connection to them. Never did. Uncle Ben and Aunt May are who mattered to him so the distance between him and them in the movie was retarded. Why bring his parents in if they're not Shield agents and weren't killed by the Red Skull. No point The director said he wanted to do something different that hadn't been done before? How bout you give us a fucking Spider-man movie?! Is that so hard?! You want a true example of a moving Spider-man? The Spectacular Spider-man cartoon. That is Spider-man, pure Spider-man. If they filmed that in live action as is, frame by frame it would be a true Spidey movie and that's half assing it, imagine if people cared. I'm so angry about this shit where these characters I love are being shilled by people who don't give a fuck because of greed. They made this movie to keep the rights but couldn't be fucked making a good movie no matter how it might fuck up the future of Spidey and the chance of ever seeing a real Spider-man movie. This is fucking Spider-man http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRvtyvsFcyY Gwen was shit, not like the comics, it was Emma Stone being Emma Stone. There wasn't even "with great power comes great responsibility". That indian Oscorp employee just disappears in the movie. The Lizard, why? The Spectaclar Spider-man cartoon dealt with it in 20 mins and that's all the lizard story you need, why does Conners have to be a mad scientist, his shit was an accident and then easily dealt with. Fail And these writers. fuck. how do they sleep at night, you get paid so much money when there is so much unemployment and a world crisis, at least work for it. read a fucking comic. how hard is it to read a comic? The rumor was that Marc Webb was hired because Sony could boss him around and be the real directors. This is probably true. Not to mention Avi Arad is a fucking cancer who knows nothing about comics. Fucking morons, never doing anything right, if you make a good movie, it will make money. Why do you fall to nepotism and hire Alvin Sargent who is 85 fucking years old to write a movie about teenagers. Because he's married to the producer, and because of nepotism a great character is fucked, like it's not a big deal. If you're gonna hire an old man then hire Stan Lee at least. But what about a screenwriter who knows Spidey? like I dunno? Bob Gale who wrote a small little series of films called Back to the Future and who actually fucking wrote Spider-man comics, good ones too. Brand New Day was a success and if you read those comics you'd get spidey as a character. But apparently it's too hard. It's obvious this hire Orci and Kurtzman to write the sequel is just to save face and make people think that Sony believe in the movie when its a piece of shit. Bottom line is we will never get a true Spide-man movie until Marvel gets the rights back. Thankfully as a piece of shit this movie won't make much money as it only has 2 weeks until Dark Knight Rises. If it was a great movie it might have had a chance but a massive fuck you to everyone involved.
July 4, 2012, 6:58 a.m. CST
This is the Superman Returns of Marvel films
by the artist formerly known as messi
boring. unmemorable. everyone involved acted like comic books never existed. Fuck you all.
July 4, 2012, 7:05 a.m. CST
Also James Horner needs to retire
by the artist formerly known as messi
Dude keeps scoring movies like it's the early 90's. Avatar score was ridiculous and this was worse.
July 4, 2012, 8:09 a.m. CST
Remember that bit in spiderman 3 when peter went emo and was a bit of a dick and everyone hated it?
by notspock2
Apparently what people actually wanted was a whole movie of that...
July 4, 2012, 9:13 a.m. CST
Raimi's Spider-Man 2 vs. 3...
by Immortal_Fish
I fail to understand why my fellow comic geeks think one is far superior to the other.
 Why is Saturday Night Peter in 3 so awful once you've considered how 2 employed Raindrops Keep Falling?
 The Harry and MJ make omelets scene was cringe inducing, yet how exactly was it inferior to the way MJ's romance with JJJ's was adapted? Which of these was felt like the more organic relationship?
 I agree that in 3 the suits tacked on Brock and left Flint Marko undeveloped. But 2 had that preposterous train sequence with a maskless Parker and despite all those people onboard, none of them had a camera equipped cell phone.
 Personally, I think 2 and 3 are on the same level. Both good, yet not great, with 2 having more of a leg up because the villain was more effectively developed. Both had their share of terrible moments.
 So, I'm curious... If you think Raimi's 2 is leagues better than 3, why?
 And it's a shame to hear that Amazing won't encourage fat kids to chest bump in the cinema parking lot.
July 4, 2012, 9:29 a.m. CST
A "movie no one will ever love" Beaks?
by YackBacker
Ha, you got a little ahead of yourself with that preachy ending to your review. Bring it back in- this movie had more heart than the Playskool-level of emotions Raimi put onscreen. (SPOILERS) When Peter reveals to Gwen that he's Spider-Man, it's flat-out the best scene in ALL SPIDER-MAN films. Brilliant.
July 4, 2012, 9:30 a.m. CST
immortal_fish - strong reps for the fat kids chest bumping. legendary reference
by the artist formerly known as messi
I didn't think the Raimi movies were that good either. Anyone who's read the comics knows the "Batman Begins" Spider-man movie has yet to be made. Amazing Spider-man was the Superman Returns of Marvel movies.
July 4, 2012, 9:59 a.m. CST
by BlaGyver
I mean moreso that when The Dark Knight came out, I'm fairly certain (though I could be wrong) that Batman surpassed Spider-Man as the most financially profitable single superhero of our day. If that came across as an uneducated "Batman wasn't popular until TDK" comment, my bad. That wasn't my intention.
July 4, 2012, 10:33 a.m. CST
Meh, I'll go see Katy Perry's amazing jumblies in 3D today
by SergeantStedenko
July 4, 2012, 2:13 p.m. CST
autodidact, I'm glad you don't just troll on the comic review posts
by Poptard_JD
July 4, 2012, 3:09 p.m. CST
you go see it...
by Manuel Lopez
and then make up your mind... just keep an open mind and forget that some reviewer from aintitcool.com bashed it because he didn't think it was time for a reboot, restart, whatever. and if by 'nobody' you mean keyboard warriors from here... then yeah I guess 'nobody' was interested... but if you're thinking of the outside world... well you could not be more wrong... thousands were interested in seeing this movie because I had to make a huge fucken line to get in, and when I got out, there was another huge line for peeps to get in again. This was a fresh start man, fuck Maguire, Kirsten and DeFoe were great back in 2001, but in 2012 it was time for a facelift, new kids, new generation, different time, different take, bad or worse it was needed!
July 4, 2012, 3:10 p.m. CST
How does a one-armed man build a laboratory in the sewers of NYC? In a matter of days (or a day) no less?
by Meta
Not in Lizard form, as I'm sure walking around as a Lizard in the halls of Oscorp might be noticed.
July 4, 2012, 3:12 p.m. CST
How does Peter get the biocable cartridges to make web shooters?
by Meta
He must of stolen them from Oscorp, because he surely didn't buy them. But they (director-writer) didn't show that he stole them because they didn't want to show Spider-Man crossing the line to become a thief. Another stupid plot-hole.
July 4, 2012, 3:16 p.m. CST
Why does Captain Stacy ignore a bio weapon terror threat by The Lizard, to chase Spider-Man?
by Meta
He's one of the top cops in NY, shouldn't a bio terror threat of serious proportions trump chasing after a vigilante once it's announced on the police radio? Where the fuck are are his priorities?
July 4, 2012, 3:20 p.m. CST
What kind of fucking billion dollar corporation has a shitty security (hollographic) keypad entry system with an ungarded room containing their most valuable secrets and not even one video camera set up in there?
by Meta
Hey if getting super high-technology is that easy, I'm going to break into Apple next week to steal the next generation of iPad and iPhones.
July 4, 2012, 3:29 p.m. CST
Why does Peter ignore a man exiting the spider room in a hazmat suit, ignore the sign saying "must wear hazmat suit" next to the hazmat suits and walk into the spider-room without a hazmat suit on?
by Meta
Not to mention, fuck around in the spider-room with the webs, causing the spiders to be dumped on him. Oh, that's a fucking brilliant way to explain how he got his powers. You couldn't have had one of the spiders, just escape from the spider-room to find it's way to Peter? And how could Oscorp not test these spiders in 10 years for the special properties their venom carries? I mean they created these spiders to create the biocable, you mean they wouldn't test not one of them to see if the venom might be a cure for cancer or something by injecting it into a lab rat? Seriously retarded.
July 4, 2012, 3:41 p.m. CST
Did anybody else feel that other than the fact it was Sally Field, Aunt May performance was non-existent.
by Meta
She didn't act, she just reacted, to everyone else with uh's and ah's and facial expressions. She was Peter's emotional punching bag for most of the film. Other than that she was boring as wallpaper. Nothing like the Aunt May from either original or ultimate comic-books, or even 1/2 as good as Rosemary Harris in the Raimi films. Aunt may was a prime motivator for Peter to become Spider-Man, a living reminder of the biggest mistake he made after getting the powers. In this film she's just Sally Field saying "What happened?" to Peter every time she sees him.
July 4, 2012, 6:53 p.m. CST
mlopez = plant
by Dead_Kate_Moss
Anyone who says 'go see it and make up your own mind' = plant. Clue - this is a review site, one of the reasons people read the reviews is to make up their minds whether to pay money to see stuff. If everything was free and we lived forever, sure, ignore all reviews from anyone and watch everything ever made.
July 4, 2012, 9:52 p.m. CST
so anyone who likes the movie...
by Jared Parker
is a plant, meta?
July 4, 2012, 9:56 p.m. CST
god the level of douchebags on this sight kills me
by Jared Parker
the raimi films were not the holy grail of comic book films. its not like your talking about donner's superman films or burton's batman films. give it a fucking rest already, people
July 5, 2012, 12:04 a.m. CST
JP1: Where do see anywhere that I accused anyone of being a plant? Douchebag!
by Meta
And the word is "site" when referring to a Website. "Sight" is something you need for reading. But it's obvious you lack it, since you throw accusations at the wrong people.
July 5, 2012, 10:30 a.m. CST
Maybe it's because I was dreading it. But it suprised the hell out of me.
by Wcwlkr
I really liked this movie. I didn't absolutely love it, but I really enjoyed the hell out of it. And I look forward to more which I'm super shocked to say. I loved the way Garfield played Spider-Man that was the best part of it. It definitely had some nitpicks I wasn't feeling but this felt like Spider-Man to me. And I had a lot of fun, it could've lightened some but I think just like when comics got grim & gritty after The Dark Knight Returns. Comic movies are trying to emulate Nolan's Batman Trilogy. I just know there were plenty elements of this that I loved. And fewer elements I didn't like. But look I expect this film to get a lot of hate, because that's what people do. But I enjoyed it so I could care less what others think.
July 5, 2012, 10:39 a.m. CST
Comic book hero logic not the place to find Real World Logic
by Wcwlkr
Look finding logic in comic books is like finding great nutrional value in a pack of Gummi Worms. It's not gonna be there. I understand somethings should make sense. But it terms of a Real World approach where a guy get's bit by a radioactive spider & gets super strength, agility, a Spider Sense, the ability to climb walls I just think you shouldn't be suprise at the loss of real world logic. I mean that's like getting really angry that The Hulk's pants always turn purple when he changes. Or the fact that his clothes fit at all. It'll drive you crazy to try & decipher that, and you lose the fantasy & sheer enjoyment. In reality Batman would be locked up, or effed up once all gangs set an ambush and riddle him with bullets. Have some fun like in the comics and enjoy the ride.
July 5, 2012, 11:54 a.m. CST
by Jared Parker
i apologize. got you mixed up dead_kate_moss. sorry about that
July 5, 2012, 11:56 a.m. CST
i think everybody had too much july 4th cheer
by Jared Parker
we all need to calm down
July 5, 2012, 12:52 p.m. CST
jp1, no not everyone who is posting here that they liked the movie is a plant
by SergeantStedenko
Only plants like you with usernames that those of us who have been here for a while have never seen before until the last few days.
July 5, 2012, 3:18 p.m. CST
this movie was RAAAAAAD. I loved it! There wasn't a "groan" moment in the whole thing..
by Poptard_JD
While I really really enjoyed the first 2 Raimi movies, even I could admit that there was some terrible acting and groan worthy dialogue, but this one didn't bother me at all. But I guess that makes me a plant. And guess what, I WRITE for this site and even I say GO FOR YOURSELF and make up your own mind. Reviewers here express their OPINIONS, not to be taken as fact.
July 5, 2012, 3:51 p.m. CST
by Jared Parker
i've been a membero of this site for five years now. i just changed my username, dummy
Dec. 12, 2012, 12:58 p.m. CST
Fuck you dingbatty,Orcus had nothing to do with this
by orcus
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text:
Ciara rocked a vampire-esque costume in Paris yesterday while there for Fashion Week. She was attending a themed party held by former French Vogue Editor-in-Chief Carine Roitfeld and got into her "beyond the grave" character by rocking a blood-red lip and sheer Dracula-style cape.
She was joined by Kanye, who wore all black, and the designer of his "Watch The Throne" album cover, Riccardo Tisci, who went all the way with a gruesome, "bloodied" mouth.
This is getting us into the Halloween spirit!
The "Irreverent Dinner"
http://ionehellobeautiful.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/128004937_8-318x478.jpg?w=180&h=180&crop=1 http://ionehellobeautiful.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/128004921_8-318x478.jpg?w=180&h=180&crop=1 http://ionehellobeautiful.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/127995306_8-318x478.jpg?w=180&h=180&crop=1 http://ionehellobeautiful.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/128004955_8-318x478.jpg?w=180&h=180&crop=1 http://ionehellobeautiful.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/127995315_8-318x478.jpg?w=180&h=180&crop=1
Kanye, Ciara, Naomi & More Hit Up Paris Fashion Week [PHOTOS]

subset: commoncrawl


text:
See and share Beautiful Nature Photos and amazing photos of interesting places
My locks are shorn for sorrow
Of love which may not be;
Tomorrow and tomorrow
Are plotting cruelty.
The winter wind tangles
These ringlets half-grown,
The sun sprays with spangles
And rays like his own.
Oh, quieter and colder
Is the stream; he will wait;
When my curls touch my shoulder
He will comb them straight.