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Generally cranky - help fix?
October 24, 2012
I've feel angry and frustrated for no reason and I don't know what to do about it. I'm worried that I'm taking it out on my husband. Help?
For a few weeks now, I've felt just generally angry and frustrated. I can't really put my finger on why I feel this way. I'm concerned that I'm not being a good partner to my husband as a result.
There are a few life changes that we have made that were relatively big but I should have absorbed them and moved on by now. About a year ago, we moved from a crappy apartment where we had lived for six years to a nicer place. Two years ago, I quit a job where I was underappreciated and underpaid for a better gig. In January, my husband quit his job to start a company and it's going well.
But of course, it's not that simple. I loved my old neighborhood and could walk to work. Now I have to take the bus - and it's fine, but it's different. Similarly, the new job is great - but I don't have the same comfort level and relationships with people that I did at my last job and a lot more is expected of me. And my husband's company is going well but with a start-up, in some ways, it never feels like things are moving quickly enough.
At the same time, my sister is pregnant which I'm excited about. My sister-in-law is getting married and I'm happy for her. But I'm going to need to take time off for both of these things. I used to take time off to do cool stuff that made me proud. I volunteered to build with Habitat in other countries and served as an international election observer. But my new job means fewer vacation days to do cool stuff so I have to make choices. I could conceivably take unpaid leave but people at my job don't see to do that kind of thing.
I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to. I don't mean that in a depressing sense and I'm certainly looking forward to seeing family for the holidays and my sister's babies and such but I feel like I don't have my own thing I'm looking forward to. I kind of just want to be left alone. Since I'm not crazy about my current job, I thought of looking into new ones but it's only been two years and we're about to start working on a big thing that will take me through February and I would feel like a jerk leaving in the middle of it.
I feel like I used to do cool things - travel on my own, volunteer doing cool stuff, run marathons - but it's all in the past. I'm too tired when I get home from work to do anything besides drag myself to yoga a few times a week and occasionally try to call my family.
I think all of this has made me grouchy around my husband. I feel really badly about it because I know I should be nicer to him but I'm just tired. I mentioned to the psychologist I'm seeing (I've had depression and anxiety for years) that I feel generally frustrated and angry and she didn't have anything to say. I'm tired a lot. I've done sleep tests and for whatever reason, I don't get restful sleep so I take Nuvigil which is awesome but I still feel frustrated.
I get frustrated when my husband asks what I want to do for dinner. I feel like I always figure out what to do for dinner. I get annoyed at him when he starts saying he wants to go to bed early and then sits on the couch for another hour and a half. I feel snappy when I'm cleaning up around the apartment and he's just watching TV. But sometimes it's not even stuff like that. He'll say something innocuous and I'll just want to reply something mean for no reason. I feel like a monster. I don't want to be this person. Sometimes I will notice that it's tied to my menstrual cycle and then I'll feel a little better. But usually it's not even that.
TL; DR - I'm generally frustrated, angry, depressed and tired for no particular reason and I'm worried that I'm taking it out on my husband and I don't know what to do. Help?
posted by
Human Relations
(27 answers total)
32 users marked this as a favorite
I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to ... I kind of just want to be left alone.
I don't know what sort of yoga you're doing, but mindfulness practice might help on these and a couple of other issues you mention. Thich Nhat Hanh's books, e.g.
The Miracle of Mindfulness
, do have some woo in them, but they're still very practical.
I get frustrated when my husband asks what I want to do for dinner ... I feel snappy when I'm cleaning up around the apartment and he's just watching TV ... He'll say something innocuous and I'll just want to reply something mean for no reason.
Assuming that smoke indicates fire, I'll suppose your husband may actually not be pulling his weight on domestic responsibilities. If these reactions are on the rise, you're right to be concerned but probably well in time to resolve them before it's serious.
Ideally, he'd just jump in and do what it takes for you to feel great about his contributions around the house, but it's also true that it's OK for people to be lazy if they're doing what you need, and no one is a mind-reader. So decide exactly what you need him to do, and if he does it, practice forgiving and enjoying his quirks in all areas that are left undetermined.
What'll kill your relationship dead is developing a habit of thinking poorly of him as a person, when in fact it's likely there are manageable circumstances here that can improve the situation quite a bit.
Anyway, to sum up, I think you have a pile of ordinary frustrations, none of which sound key but that collectively add up to something such that your crankiness is understandable. I don't think you can expect a quick route to perfection with these kinds of issues, ever. But try to prioritize your needs and knock them out one by one so that what's going on around you improves in the largest chunks possible without taking on too much at once.
If you can't pick one thing that would most contribute to your sense of contentment, I have to fall back on very generic recommendations: focus on attitude by reading things like Thich Nhat Hanh or Epictetus or Alan Watts or Marcus Aurelius or whatever, and develop a hobby that has measurable but extremely graduated indicators of success so that it makes you feel like you're achieving new things all the time.
posted by
Monsieur Caution
on October 24, 2012 [
1 favorite
You've said most of your hours are spent:
- fulfilling expectations not defined by you, among & for people who don't offer comfort, humour, or commiseration
- commuting
- keeping a house, which is situated in a neighbourhood you're not sure you like
I'd be pissy too.
Did you feel you were an equal contributor to the decisions behind these changes, or did your husband drive them, in the main?
Can you improve the quality of your collegial relationships? Carve out more time and space for yourself (e.g. hobby), or meet good friends more often? Find scope for more decision-making in your work, or a way to use more of the skills you enjoy using?
If you hate your neighbourhood, it's not impossible to find another one closer to your job (even though you've just moved).
Husband should clean more.
posted by
on October 24, 2012 [
5 favorites
I can identify - I'm having similar issues right now. Partially because of my personality and partially because of my own depression and anxiety, I don't handle change very well. I'm kind of a creature of habit - I think because tending to anxiety makes you want things to be predictable and routine, it's less to worry about. A particular change might be a great thing for me in the long run, but it still unsettles me. It sounds like you had one big change after another, when you hadn't fully adapted to the change before it, and since each change is a stressor then the stress piles up.
I told my counsellor one of the biggest things bothering me is how "edgy" I am. Everything gets under my skin, even the smallest things, and it's worse because I know if I had some perspective all too often these are not important things at all. It's exhausting to feel angry and frustrated all the time and it's plain unpleasant. So what she told me is to imagine each of us have an empty bottle inside us, that's our energy & our ability to cope with whatever life throws at us. Each thing that happens to us that we have to deal with fills that bottle up a little bit more. Whenever we do things that help us feel relaxed and restorative it will help empty the bottle a little bit.
She said, you are feeling so on edge because your bottle is full. You have no room left, you are at your limit. Your resources are tapped out and you don't have anything left to draw on. Start thinking, she said, about what you can do to empty your bottle even if it's just a little bit. Be selfish, you need time for yourself; if your time for yourself is completely aimless, laying on the couch daydreaming for an hour, do that. If it's taking a long bath and reading mindless magazines, do that. If it's working on something creative, do that. But do only what you have to do for other people - ask for what you need, take on less responsibilities (for instance, dinner - I told my husband flat out I can only think about dinner half the time and that I expect him to figure it out for us the other half, that I need him to step up and take that one small pressure off me; I, too, was flipping out over having to figure that out every day). Basically you've given yourself a lot of changes without time to really process each one so give yourself downtime now to decompress. She mentioned as well that I am tending to downplay the good things going on in my life and overemphasize the negative things - she told me I need to be more aware that I am doing this and think of ways to be in the moment, enjoy the good things and not allow the negative to crowd out what good there is by dwelling on it. I think one way is to actively come up with a few things that were positive about each day, to reinforce it.
I am finding it's really helping me to talk, talk, and talk some more about how I'm feeling and pick at figuring out why I feel how I feel; to consider what would make me feel happier - what would make something I'm upset about, better. I talk to my husband, I talk to my counsellor, I talk to my friends, I talk to my mother, I talk on MeFi; having all the different perspectives helps because each can offer me a new angle to consider. If your psychologist doesn't have anything to say to you or any ideas how to deal with something that is an ongoing issue affecting you - feeling like this definitely impacts getting through each day - maybe you should be talking to a therapist or a social worker, someone with constructive thoughts for you, who can help you drill down to specific things you could do to cope with and mitigate these feelings?
posted by
on October 24, 2012 [
21 favorites
This really jumped out at me:
"There are a few life changes that we have made that were relatively big but I should have absorbed them and moved on by now."
I'm going to guess that at least some of your frustration is coming out of thinking you should be feeling a certain way about all these life changes, but for some reason you just don't. And constantly failing to live up to some internal drill sergeant ("Your life is better! Start being happy, goddammit!") is exhausting.
You sound like you have high standards for yourself--you've traveled solo, run marathons, volunteered. You set goals for yourself, achieved them, and that felt awesome. Now you're spending a lot of time helping other people achieve their goals: your employer, your husband (even if the goal is 'dinner and relaxing'). And you're applying the same drive and energy to those things, but not really getting anything out of it.
Things are not necessarily better now just because they look better on paper. You are allowed to miss your old life and you are allowed to have doubts about your new job. Maybe that leads you to look for a different job, maybe not. I think taking unpaid time off is a great idea, even if it's a little out of the ordinary. It sounds like for you, needing time to work on your own projects is like needing air or food. You need it
in order
to be able to go to work and be married.
I'm sorry I don't have a lot of practical advice. My own frustrations and feelings of ambivalence about my job led me to save a bunch of money and then quit, so clearly I am not the best career counselor. But a large part of that decision was thinking, hey, maybe I am not broken and it's OK to be frustrated, even though from the outside, my life looked pretty cushy.
posted by
on October 24, 2012 [
3 favorites
Sorry, quick follow-up: do you feel able to meet the expectations held of you? Are they more stressful than they are challenging/engaging?
(Husband should cook more often, too. And/or: order in sometimes, and get a cleaner to come in once in a while. You need a break, and you need some fun.)
posted by
on October 24, 2012
Assuming the housework is split reasonably, it sounds like you're getting crabby with him because he's a "safe" person to crab at. But as you know, it's unfair to him. So how to stop?
A few thoughts -
1. Find some time to do a nice activity together. Do a crossword, take a walk, something that doesn't tie into whatever domestic irritations are simmering. If you only spend time together with annoying domestic tasks or plugged into different screens, it's not good for team spirit.
2. If you're in a crabby mood, tell him so and excuse yourself to cool down. "I'm sorry, I'm just in a rotten mood, I'm going to go take five" or whatever. If you know you're in a bad mood, find an outlet for it that isn't him.
3. What re-energizes you? (Eg seeing friends? spending time alone in nature? hard exercise? creative stuff?) See if you can fiddle your schedule to find more space for that. Get some more positive stuff happening that you can think about, rather than dwelling on the things that are missing.
posted by
on October 24, 2012 [
4 favorites
And maybe obvious, but have you done blood tests for things like Vitamin D, iron, thyroid, etc that are sometimes linked to tiredness?
posted by
on October 24, 2012 [
1 favorite
Everyone here has really good advice so far, but I'd just like to add that
potential side effects of Nuvigil
include depression, anxiety, agitation, nervousness, and depressed mood.
posted by
on October 24, 2012 [
6 favorites
It seems like you're getting annoyed with your husband about having to be the cruise director ("what's for dinner, mom?") and for indulging in down time while you are feeling over-burdened, or at least unfairly burdened.
My husband and I are in a somewhat similar position, where he is working on awesome things but for minimal money, and I am working for most of the money. When everything is cool, it works well. When I am really stressed out about work and/or money, though, I can get caught up in resentments from "Cook dinner? Why do I have to do ALL THE THINGS?" to being crabby that he's still in bed at 10 when I had to be at my desk at 8 or that he can stay up later while I have to go to sleep or I will die.
It sounds like you need to re-balance your tasks. We hired someone to clean once a week. My husband does kitchen cleanup and dishwasher duty; I cook 9 out of 10 nights, although he'll chop or dish up if I ask for help. Everyone does their own laundry and whatever house laundry (towels, etc.) is around. The other night we eat one of the meals he can make or one of the meals we've frozen.
To be honest, though, no matter how even we can make it it will still never feel even because there is the whole cultural burden of the boy/girl thing. I don't care if the house is a mess but I know that when people walk in, the messy house earns a demerit point for me but not for him. I am not evolved enough to not care and so I pull out the broom and sweep the dog hair off the floor. He doesn't.
I also keep 27x more running lists in my head; I go to bed thinking "must remember to defrost porkchops in the morning" and "must add TP to shopping list" where he doesn't. I've never figured out what to do about that, but it's an element of domestic burden that is hard to quantify or to share.
I do know, however, that as long as stuff
defrosted, the answer to the question "What do you want to do for dinner?" is "I don't know, honey; work it out."
posted by
on October 24, 2012 [
17 favorites
You and your husband sound not unlike me and my husband when things get busy. Dinner, and what we're having, and who's in charge of making it, becomes this disproportionately stressful thing.
Do you have a schedule for who's cooking on what nights? We sort of came to a tentative agreement recently that has made our lives easier. It turned out that Mr. Stomper really likes to plan out all the meals for the week, and I really hate deciding what we're eating days in advance, so we compromised by making a big list of staples and things he needs to cook his repertoire of meals, plus flexible items so that I can just make whatever seems easy and good on my nights to cook.
But just having it scheduled who's going to DECIDE what's for dinner has made things somewhat easier.
What DarlingBri said: it never feels even, because I feel more pressure to keep on top of housework than Mr. Stomper does. It takes a lot of mental cheerleading to get myself to say "to hell with it, I'm going to do something fun/for my own career, instead of the dishes."
Oh, and also, I kind of feel you on the holidays. We moved and had a baby and all this stuff in the last two years, and last Christmas everything was so different and...well, just different. It was really hard to enjoy the holidays -- they just felt sort of washed out from all the changes in my life. So there's that.
posted by
on October 24, 2012 [
1 favorite
Are you getting enough exercise? I get this way very much when I don't. Especially the sleep part.
Your concerns speak loudly. You love your husband. Tell him what's going on. Ask his support. Express yourself.
posted by
on October 24, 2012
I was going to mention the same thing as
. Two of the extremely well-documented, almost expected side effects of Nuvigil are heightened frustration and anger.
posted by
on October 24, 2012
I just run until i don't give a damn. Run 12 miles. Bike 100 miles. It has a remarkable effect. You can't get angry or frustrated for 2-3 days afterwards. And it sorta trains your brain to react differently over time.
Really hard hatha yoga classes and kettlebells work too. But I find a good long run most effective.
posted by
on October 25, 2012 [
1 favorite
I have no advice to add, but I just wanted to thank you for this post, it's one I've considered writing for a while now. I could be you or DarlingBri except that my husband already does more around the house than I do and I still get cranky and snippy and I hate it. So thank you for posting this, you're not alone!
posted by
on October 25, 2012 [
3 favorites
You're not doing anything fun. How can you recharge your batteries without fun? You're spread very thin meeting obligations but you say in your post that you feel you haven't got stuff to look forward to. Of course you're grumpy, you're giving yourself to everyone else without replenishing your own joy. What do you do that feels like play? Make room for that thing. Make it a priority and a routine. Be selfish about it. A hike or a run or a few hours playing an instrument or picking up a knitting pattern or riding rollercoasters or playing Minecraft all Sunday - whatever your thing is. You need it MORE when you have stressful stuff going on - it balances you out. Maybe yoga is your Thing but it sounds more like another obligation right now.
posted by
Lou Stuells
on October 25, 2012 [
2 favorites
I'd add that you said "I don't have anything to look forward to". I think this is exactly right. You don't. You're bored, your life is perhaps a bit better than before, perhaps a bit worse. Bleh.
You need goals. Run a marathon. Volunteer abroad again. Go back to graduate school. Do it!
posted by
on October 25, 2012 [
2 favorites
Man, I have so been there. Like flex said, I hate that feeling of being edgy and knowing that I'm getting unreasonably irritated/angry/frustrated by things that normally wouldn't be a big deal. You're not alone in feeling this way.
You mention that your therapist had nothing to say. That's sort of troubling to me. What you're experiencing sounds a lot to me like the early stages of depression as I experience it (and maybe as you do, too). Your therapist's job is to help you identify what's causing these symptoms and help you cope with them. That includes not just diagnosing you with depression and sending you to get a prescription, but also some amount of inquiry and encouragement in healthy directions.
The therapists I've had who have been most effective have asked questions like, "What do you feel like you need to be satisfied with your life that you're not getting?" They've also worked with me on self-care stuff like exercise, sleep hygiene, eating, etc. Moreover, they help me with some of the interpersonal stuff that's bothering me that I don't know how to express (things like getting your husband to take on equal responsibility for making dinner). I think it's worth asking your therapist for support in these things if she isn't offering it. If she can't, I would suggest finding a new therapist who will be more helpful.
I second the folks who have said you should talk to your husband. If you've had depression and anxiety for a long time hopefully he's familiar with what that involves. In addition to suffering from depression myself, I'm a partner to someone with depression and when he's irritable it makes a big difference for him to just acknowledge that it's because he's feeling bad and not because he's upset with me.
I am also right there with you on the feeling like you have nothing to look forward to. I know I've said those exact words in the past, even at times when things were going relatively well like they seem to be for you. It's hard to work up the energy and motivation to make something to look forward to when you're feeling like this. I know you mentioned that you have limited time off, but is planning a vacation an option for you right now? Maybe even just taking a long weekend to go visit another city? Maybe a class you could take in the evenings? Sometimes the structure and having paid for something gets me out of the house even when I'm not feeling like it.
posted by
on October 25, 2012 [
3 favorites
Well, setting aside some physical/mental malady or influence (which I'm not actually setting aside, but I'm just not qualified to even guess about), it seems to me that one major thing is clear: you are spending all day at a job that doesn't really do it for you, and then go home to your place in a neighborhood that doesn't really do it for you. Neither are terrible, but neither are giving you anything to feel happy about, and together seem to be significantly weighing down your sense of well-being and satisfaction.
Some people are really sensitive about their home/neighborhood-setting. I'm one. I get actually seriously agoraphobic in certain environments, and I've become physically unwell living in an apartment I disliked. I had chest pains that didn't seem to have a physical cause, and as amazing as it seems to me (because I'm not the princess type, and kind of the complete opposite of a hypochondriac, whatever that is – it's only a flesh wound!), I was apparently ill because I felt depressed by that objectively nice apartment that I just didn't like. After moving, no chest pain. I live in a nice place now, nice enough to keep me from getting depressed, and it's coveted by friends, but I still desperately miss our last, way-too-small apartment (in another city) with the fabulous sunrise view, huge balcony (with the sunset view) and wonderful, wonderful neighborhood. I miss it every day, and we moved five years ago (because of work, otherwise I think I would have held on tooth and nail, even though we would have maybe had to rent another space just to keep my husband's work equipment).
Anyway, I have a lot of thoughts on the other stuff that is bugging you, but to keep this from being a complete wall of text, I'll leave that off for now, especially since you say that it's just in the past few weeks that feelings have become somewhat unbearable. I imagine that the day-to-day minutiae of living with your husband hasn't changed that much over the years, which makes me assume that the more critical problem lies elsewhere, and I can imagine the combo of work-situation-I-don't-like and neighborhood/home I don't like doing the same to me over time, plus making me super snippy about anything else that would normally be manageable.
posted by
on October 25, 2012 [
2 favorites
Oops. Lost some text there somewhere along the line, but what I was going for is that it might be a great idea to go ahead and change either job or home, though probably not both at the same time. Since you have a thing going through February at work, I'd seriously look at moving, even though you did that fairly recently and it's a royal pain in the ass to move. We moved from the chest-pain apartment after only a few months... which is when we found the place that I loved so much I still quietly long for it every day.
posted by
on October 25, 2012
Depression, I'm learning, takes all sorts of different behavior forms - it's not necessarily always sadsack and ashes and crying all the time. In retrospect, mine started with anger, very similar to what you're describing, after me being totally aloof to the fact that I was burning myself out. I'd recommend seeing a behavioral health doctor or therapist. No, really - just do it.
I was in a similar shoes these past few months and have been exercising regularly for years, which usually does the trick with controlling my stress. However, then all of a sudden, no matter how far I ran or how long I vigorously worked out, I was still ANGRY - at everyone and everything and it was hurting various relationships in my life because I was taking it out that way. :(
Then sometime in the past month the bottom fell out and I felt the saddest I've ever felt, and realized I was full-on depressed. Suddenly the anger that I had dissolved into total exhaustion and I could barely leave the house, was sleeping 14 hours at a time, abusing sick days and working from home...not good. My sense of time became totally warped - it felt like I was moving in slow motion, yet the clock was screaming by at lightning speed.
Luckily, I dragged myself to a doctor who diagnosed me with major clinical depression. I've been on Wellbutrin XL so far and it's amazing how much it's given be back so far. I'm not totally there yet, but I feel my old self coming back a little more each day and it's helping me be clear enough to figure out what I want/need from my relationship and life.
I'd highly, highly recommend taking a step back and seeing a doctor or therapist. They can help you put all of this in check.
posted by
on October 25, 2012 [
2 favorites
What's interesting to me is that this question is not "how can i feel better?" but "how can i be nicer to my husband?" I don't know if that's because he's the only one you feel snappy towards, or because he's the only one you let yourself take it out on, and my answers to those two situations would differ. Do you feel equally frustrated with all those obnoxious people blocking the aisle in the grocery store, for example? Do you feel annoyed at half of your work colleagues?
posted by
on October 25, 2012 [
1 favorite
i feel like that a lot frankly. so you're not alone.
1) if you can find a job you like better, take it! you don't owe them anything.
2) the fussy, angry all the time feeling could certainly be stress related. when you're on edge ALL THE TIME because of stress--for whatever reason--every little thing is more irritating and can set you off faster.
3) not getting good sleep adds A LOT to stress
4) fuck dinner. release yourself from the idea that dinner has to be made every night like mom used to. spaghetti or frozen pizza on the couch is fine. really. unless you WANT dinner to be an affair every night, then make it a priority.
5) your therapist might suck. you might need to see a new one or really press the issue with the one you have if he/she is generally good.
posted by
on October 25, 2012
Hi all, thank you so much for your insights. A few thoughts:
- I've had depression and anxiety for years. I used to get a prescription for Wellbutrin from my GP but about a year ago, I started seeing a psychologist at a university nearby. In that time, I've had like 4 or 5 psychologists. It's not big deal in my opinion. I tried Lexapro but I wasn't wild about it so I went back to Wellbutrin which I really like.
- I have had blood work done relatively recently and tested for things like low thyroid - no dice.
- I do not like being the cruise director for my husband and I. He knows this but he still looks to me to figure stuff out. It makes me super happy when he's like, oh, I just did the dishes because duh, the dishes need to be done, or don't worry about dinner, I've got it. I know I also need to ask for help more often or tell him what I need.
- We do a decent amount of getting take out and going out to dinner. We have someone clean occasionally. I love it :) I acknowledge that my tolerance for messiness is lower than his so I feel responsible to do more since it is my issue.
- I love running but I've had to take time off. I had a really minor unnecessary surgery on my foot and I've been skittish about running since then. However, I ran Sunday and I felt so happy!
- Part of the reason I feel badly is that I know my husband is stressed out with trying to get his company off the ground and I want to be more supportive. I knew that was something I would have to do when he started this and I was ready to take it on so I feel really badly when I'm snappish.
posted by
on October 25, 2012
One of the things that has really frustrated me lately is that I feel like my time, for the next several months, is spoken for. I'm visiting family for Thanksgiving and Christmas, when I'm also planning a baby shower for my sister. Then for Martin Luther King Jr. Day, we're probably visiting my in-laws. After that, I will be super busy for work through February. My sister is due in March and my sister-in-law gets married in May. So even if I had the days off, I feel like I can't do anything I want to do anytime soon.
I recently had an opportunity to volunteer abroad but I didn't really have the days off and my husband wasn't really feeling it and I wasn't really feeling it so I turned it down. And I felt really bummed about having to do it. If I did take time off after the busy time for work but before my sister-in-law's wedding, I would feel obligated to go on vacation with my husband. I'm sure that sounds terrible (poor me, I *have* to go on vacation with my husband) but I would really like to volunteer abroad again. I'm tempted to plan a volunteer abroad gig for the summer and just be like, deal with it, this is in 8 months.
posted by
on October 25, 2012
Does it have to be Thanksgiving AND Christmas? Can your husband visit his folks for MLK and you stay home? Because honestly... reading your calendar makes me want to hide under my bed.
If you want to do this supporting-family stuff, you've got to make sure you're supporting your OWN needs enough to have the strength to be there for others. How helpful are you when you're grumpy and snappish? You have to beg off gracefully sometimes. You can do it all, OR you can do it well.
Plan your trip. And in the meantime, get back to running - it feels good cos it IS good! And it's something you can have little bites of, regularly and often. Say you just held out for the thing 8 months from now, and meanwhile plodded grimly onward as you have been. After 8 months without respite, are you even sure you're still going to want to go, or will it have become one of those obligation trips by then, because you're 8 months tireder, and hung so much expectation on it?
posted by
Lou Stuells
on October 25, 2012 [
1 favorite
I do not like being the cruise director for my husband and I. He knows this but he still looks to me to figure stuff out.
Again, deflect. From "I don't know honey, you decide" to "I'm not the momma, I don't know" and finally "You are a grown-ass man, figure it out." If you do this, you need to accept that the outcomes he achieves may not be the ones you want.
"Are we going to Mary and Lucy's for brunch on Sunday?"
"I don't know honey. I'm up for it if you are. You sort it out."
Nothing happens and now you can't go because he didn't RSVP? Well okay then. Maybe he'll pick up the ball next time. Because this is not
- a lot of this stuff is mutual household shite, not something that is specifically your task that he's being kind enough to lend a hand with when it really isn't his job. It is, and he needs to do half of it.
posted by
on October 26, 2012
Thanks again to everyone who offered advice and support. I've been trying to figure this out for a while and part of the reason I put it off is that I don't really have a question. Your words made me glad that I asked.
posted by
on October 26, 2012
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Alternate Unofficial Names: Como Depot.
Como is an incorporated place (Class Code P1) located in Panola County at latitude 34.5107 and longitude -89.9398. (Como Panoramio Photos). The elevation is 358 feet. Como appears on the Senatobia U.S. Geological Survey Map. Panola County is in the Central time zone (GMT -6). Observes DST? Yes. Current Time. | Como, MS ZIP Code Maps | Como local area photos
Como had a population of 1,291; a land area of 1.89 sq. miles; a water area of 0.01 sq. miles; and a population density of 683.43 people per sq. mile according to the US Census Bureaue estimate of July 1, 2009. Latest Census Estimates for all incorporated places in Mississippi.
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subset: commoncrawl


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Rock-n-Chairity Auction 2010 Select Another Gallery » Our unique event includes an art auction combined with an evening of fun, entertainment and food from area restaurants. The event helps support several of Woman's baby-centered programs.
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(WHAS11)—House Democrats are not saying whether they have enough support to pass their health care reform bill, but they're hoping to bring it to a vote next week.
While that's happening in Washington, hundreds of supporters of the plan are camped out inside Humana's downtown Louisville headquarters saying the healthcare giant puts profits ahead of patients.
WHAS 11's Gene Kang was at the scene Friday morning with the protestors and they will remain there until 11:30 a.m. Friday fighting for universal healthcare.
"Patients not profits...Medicare for all...patients not profits Medicare for all," is the phrase The Kentuckians for Single Payer Healthcare group chanted in an effort to stop lobbying politicians and give more care to the uninsured.
"What we want the insurance companies to do is to stop their expenditures for lobbying and campaign contributions to politicians and instead give more care to those who are insured." David Bos, protestor, said.
Humana spokesperson Jim Turner said Humana will allow the protestors to stay until right before noon Friday as long as it stays peaceful.
"They want to see it happen...we want to see it happen...the main point we want to make from Humana is we absolutely want to see health reform this year in 2009." Turner said.


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Mondays With Madi
No. 18 Cats, No. 19 Devils Clash in McKale in Pac-12 Opener
The Wildcats swept UMBC to sweep the Wildcat Classic
A balanced offensive attack led Arizona to two wins on day one of the Wildcat Classic
Ashley Harris Q&A
The 20th-ranked Wildcats (8-1) close the nonconference schedule this week at home when they welcome Coppin State, Tulane and UMBC for the Wildcat Classic in McKale Center
Mondays With Madi
Arizona defeated Florida A&M in three sets and UCF in four on Saturday
Second-ranked Texas swept Arizona in the Wildcats' first game of the 26 West Longhorn Classic
Arizona needed the minimum nine sets to sweep through the Arizona Invitational last weekend, helping the Wildcats improve to 6-0 on the season.
Senior outside hitter Madi Kingdon has been named a candidate for the Senior CLASS Award
Mondays With Madi


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Hi all,
My problem is fairly straightforward:
My friend has an M-Audio Keystation 49e that I am trying to use on Windows XP laptop.
I have updated the Keystation 49e drivers and Midi Series II drivers (?).
I realized two weeks ago that I would need someway to transfer the midi information from the keyboard to my laptop. So I purchased the M-Audio Midisport Uno 1x1. After installing the included Midisport Uno drivers, I made sure to also download the most updated drivers on the M-Audio website.
On my program (Mixcraft 4...cheap I know) that I know for a fact has midi capabilities, there was no sound. No recognition of any midi signal. So I went to the FAQ section and downloaded the MIDI-OX program to test my midi input and output.
When I opened the program, the Midi output section had two options: (1) Microsoft GS Wavetable SW Synth and (2) Midi Mapper. HOWEVER, there was absolutely nothing in the Midi input section (when I opened the program, it even notified me that NO MIDI INPUT DEVICES ARE DETECTED).
So my question is, WHAT IS GOING ON???!!
Some useful information would be to note that the back of the Keystation 49e has a "MIDI OUT" input but no "MIDI IN" input. As a result, right now I have the usb portion of the Midisport Uno plugged into my laptop but only the midi out cable plugged into the Keystation 49e (thus the midi in cable on the Midisport Uno is simply dangling, unplugged and doing nothing....though I have tried plugging that one into the keyboard but have had identical results).
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me figure out what is going on. I feel the answer is fairly simply (such as there should be something for me to plug the mid-in cable into) but being relatively naive with music technology, I am at a dead end. Do I need to buy a new midi interface or is mine sufficient?
Thank you all soooo much in advance


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Domestic Trailer: 'The Wolverine'
(via Film Thrasher)
Trailer: 'The Wolverine' - July 26th
Directed by James Mangold, starring Hugh Jackman, Will Yun Lee, Tao Okamoto, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, and Rila Fukushima.
Ok, this doesn't look that bad. It should be noted that this is the international trailer, which interestingly starts out the same as 'Les Mis.'
(via TheWolverineUK)
Fox Uses Vine to Tease New 'Wolverine' Trailer | Film Thrasher
Great use of Vine. Makes the "trailer for a trailer" thing almost acceptable.
New Images: 'The Wolverine' | EW
New Posters: 'The Wolverine' | IMP
James Mangold's 'Wolverine' Portraits | /Film
New Image: The Wolverine | Empire
Poster: 'The Wolverine' | IMP
Motion Poster: 'The Wolverine'| Deadline
Poster: 'The Wolverine' | Comic Book Movie
For the past month and with the production of X-Men: Days of Future Past growing ever closer, rumors regarding the return of the original trilogy actors have run rampant. Patrick Stewart has come close to confirming his involvement while Famke Janssen also hinted that she could get in on the time-bending adventure as well. Up to this point nothing has been confirmed, and with The Wolverine still in production there could easily be a few surprises in store. With talk still surrounding a set photo that The Jean Grey School for Higher Learning receiving its big screen debut, now a new report suggest that perhaps the titular female herself could be showing up as well.
First Image: Hugh Jackman Is 'The Wolverine' | /Film
Either that or they took some liberties with 'Les Mis'.
The Wolverine, Fox's long-gestating sequel to X-Men Origins, looks to be inching ever closer to our screens with Hugh Jackman announcing that filming is set to begin on the project in August…


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Believe you can and you're half way there. 🌟✨💫
Eto ang aming scenario every New Year. Wawa my babies takot sa paputok! Anyways, Happy 2014 everyone! 🎉🎉🎉 (at Noveleta)
"Stop looking for perfect partners. Just find someone who knows how lucky they are when they have you." Happy New Year, Love @jeffvales! I'm ready for more adventures w you. I love youuuu! 💏💑👫💖 (at Vigan City)


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TORONTO -- John McDonald didn't start Friday's game, but he sure finished it.
McDonald hit his first career walkoff homer in the 11th inning Friday as the Toronto Blue Jays defeated the Tampa Bay Rays 6-4 at Rogers Centre.
He entered the game in the second inning after starting second baseman Jayson Nix injured his left knee on a hard slide by Sean Rodriguez that broke up a double play.
"I don't hit too many, so any time you do something to win a ballgame is fine," McDonald said. "Obviously, I was happy."
McDonald, not known for his power, allowed himself to gaze at the ball as it left the park.
"I kind of watched it a little bit," he admitted. "I was trying to talk to the ball to get it to go a little farther but it doesn't usually work."
Until McDonald's homer, the key offensive player for Toronto (9-10) had been Jose Bautista who fell a single short of becoming the third Blue Jay to hit for the cycle. He doubled, tripled and homered before walking in his final two plate appearances.
McDonald's first homer of the season made a winner of left-handed reliever Marc Rzepczynski (2-0), who retired his only batter and made a loser of Adam Russell (1-1) who faced two batters.
Slumping Juan Rivera greeted Russell's entry into the game with a one-out single up the middle and Chris Woodward ran for him. McDonald did the rest, hitting a 1-0 sinker over the left-field fence.
"I liked my fastball matchup against him," Russell said. "I just didn't get where I wanted it to go and I paid the price."
"I thought Adam was in pretty good shape right there, based on his workload," added Rays manager Joe Maddon. "But again I probably warmed him up too much tonight."
McDonald was 1-for-4 and is batting .300 for the season and has four RBIs. In Tuesday's 6-5 win over the Yankees, McDonald put down a safety squeeze to tie the game against Mariano Rivera in the ninth.
That is more the type of thing expected from McDonald. And even though his power has improved -- working last year with now retired manager Cito Gaston and hitting coach Dwayne Murphy -- big home runs aren't expected from him.
"I think what's happened over time is not only has he matured but it's work that he and had Murph and Cito did last year," manager John Farrell said. "Just simplifying his plan going in and being aggressive to the fastball. As he has looked for pitches and looked to drive some pitches he's capable mof what he did tonight."
Rays right-hander Jeremy Hellickson pitched seven innings and allowed three runs, six hits and three walks while striking out six. He stood to win until reliever Joel Peralta surrendered his lead in the eighth on a double by Edwin Encarnacion.
The Blue Jays , whose starting rotation has been struggling, got seven innings from left-hander Jo-Jo Reyes. Entering the game 0-2 with a 6.75 ERA, Reyes allowed six hits, a walk and four runs while striking out six to lower his ERA to 6.20.
B.J. Upton drove in the first two runs for Tampa Bay (9-11), the first on a sacrifice fly in the first that scored Sam Fuld who led off with a single, stole second and took third on a groundout.
In the third, Upton singled in Fuld who singled, advanced to second on a groundout and stole third.
The Jays got on the board in the first when Adam Lind singled to score Jose Bautista who doubled with two out.
Lind again tied it in the fourth with a double to centre that scored Bautista who led off with a broken-bat triple to right. Bautista's soft liner bounced past diving right-fielder Ben Zobrist.
The Rays took a 4-2 lead in the fifth. Kelly Shoppach led off with a single and was sacrificed to second by Elliot Johnson. Fuld tripled to right to produce one run and Johnny Damon doubled in the other.
Bautista's fifth homer of the season with two out in the bottom of the fifth pulled Toronto to within one run.
The Rays had a leadoff double by Damon in the eighth against Jason Frasor. Upton popped to second and former Blue Jay Felipe Lopez bounced back to the mound and Sean Rodriguez struck out to end the threat.
Bautista came to the plate to lead off the eighth with a chance to join Kelly Gruber (1989) and Jeff Frye (2001) as the only Blue Jays to hit for the cycle, but right-hander Peralta walked him on four pitches.
Bautista took second on Lind's groundout to first and he scored the tying run on Encarnacion's double to right centre. Travis Snider was walked intentionally with two out but Rivera bounced out to third.
Notes: Attendance at Rogers Centre was 23,192. ...Right-hander Brandon Morrow, who started the season on the disabled list with inflammation in his right elbow, makes his first start of the season for Toronto on Saturday. Left-hander David Price will start for Tampa. ...The Mets returned infielder Brad Emaus to the Blue Jays after claiming him in the Rule 5 draft last December. Toronto then traded Emaus to Colorado for right-hander Chris Malone, 27, who has been pitching at Double-A Tulsa, and a player to be named or cash.
Keep up with the latest on Canada's national programs from the governing body for amateur baseball in Canada.
Baseball Canada Website
Scott MacArthur, Richard Griffin & Gregor Chisholm discuss quiet trade deadline for the Blue Jays, struggling rotation & potential Biogenesis fallout.
Scott MacArthur & Toronto Star's Richard Griffin preview the trade deadline, Blue Jays' needs & being on Boston as Jon Lester rumours ramp up.
LA Angels infielder, John McDonald joined Blue Lunch to discuss his career from the time he left Toronto to the present.


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Mind Games
French Jews, confronting anti-Semitism in the wake of the Dreyfus Affair, created the figure of the intellectual. And now, arguing about Israel and Islam, they're killing it.
Thirty years later, Benda worried that his fellow intellectuals, wittingly or not, had undermined their noble mandate with all too worldly ideological attachments to socialism or nationalism. One could not be both a true intellectual, argued Benda, and what Sartre would eventually identify as an engaged intellectual. The "clerics" of his day willingly "abased the values of knowledge before the values of action." Of course one could be engaged—in fact, at times, as during the Dreyfus Affair, one had to be engaged. Yet, Benda claimed, such instances of political engagement had to follow rather than precede the disinterested and dispassionate analysis of a particular question or policy. The conflation of these approaches was catastrophic, shaping an age, Benda decried, distinguished by "the intellectual organization of political hatreds."
Thus, the concept of the public intellectual—committed and engaged—was born. But Benda himself would not live up to his own principles for long: One war later, he was unable to resist the siren call of worldly ideologies, becoming a fellow traveler of the Communist Party and apologist for the crimes of Stalin's Soviet Union. From the defender of Zola's legacy, Benda had become a participant in Moscow's show trials. This betrayal suggests the ease with which intellectuals blurred or simply ignored the line between Truth and truth. Too often, the historian Tony Judt observed, the French intelligentsia acted in history rather than in the light of history and acted out of a sense of conviction rather than a sense of responsibility. It's a tradition that continues still.
During the early days of Vichy, the official in charge of Jewish Affairs, Xavier Vallat, lectured an SS officer who had questioned his anti-Semitic credentials. "I have been an anti-Semite longer than you," he blurted. "What's more, I am old enough to be your father!" Vallat, who oversaw the implementation of Vichy's anti-Semitic legislation and aryanization of Jewish property, was right on both scores: He was already reading Maurras when his interlocutor was still in diapers.
Yet this dismal story points to a French paradox: The same country that gave us the likes of Vallat also gave us Léon Blum, the leader of the Socialist Party who became prime minister in 1936, leading Vallat to mourn that his "old Gallo-Roman country will be governed by a Jew." And Blum was not alone; nearly a half-dozen Jewish prime ministers have governed France in modern times, from Blum to René Mayer, Pierre Mendès-France, Michel Debré, and Laurent Fabius.
But this Jewish prominence carried a high price: Their alliance with the Republic thrust the Jews, as the historian Pierre Birnbaum noted, "into the very heart of the guerres franco-françaises." The more assimilated they became, the more prominent in the realms of politics and culture, the more central Jews became to the conspiratorial fantasies and rhetoric of anti-Semites.
Had it not been for France's defeat by Nazi Germany in 1940 and the creation of the authoritarian French State—better known as Vichy and hailed by Maurras as a "divine surprise"—anti-Semitism may well have remained a respectable ideology in France. The anti-Semitic legislation imposed by Marshal Pétain's regime in 1940 and 1941—without the slightest of nudges from the Nazis—raised few eyebrows in occupied France. Most of the nation, of course, was still reeling from defeat and occupation and scrambling to meet their material needs. Yet the "vivid French tradition of anti-Semitism," in the words of historians Michael Marrus and Robert Paxton, had seeped into the political mainstream and greatly eased Vichy's task. During the rafles, or round-ups, of the summer of 1942, French gendarmes, under the aegis of Vichy authorities, gathered more than 27,000 Jews, nearly all of whom were deported to Auschwitz. In August alone, 4,000 Jewish children, taken from their parents, were shipped east from Drancy, a grim suburb of Paris, on French trains run by French engineers and guarded by French gendarmes. By the time the Allies liberated France two years later, nearly 75,000 Jews, both foreign and native-born, had been delivered to Auschwitz; about 2,500 survived. What didn't survive, though, was the understanding French Jews, in particular intellectuals, had of their place in the nation.
A quarter of a century ago, the French historian Henry Rousso hauled France into a therapist's office, pulled out his notepad, and began to ask very personal questions. The result was The Vichy Syndrome, a book that, like Robert Paxton's Vichy France, was not only a dazzling work of history but also a historical event in its own right. Both books grabbed France by its collective collar and demanded that it return to and reconsider its recent past.
According to Rousso's diagnosis, this particular syndrome surged into French culture and politics in the early 1970s. Until then, France had known a kind of collective amnesia concerning the four years under Vichy and the Germans—a forgetfulness encouraged by Charles de Gaulle, who had, for reasons of postwar unity, peddled the image of a France with 40 million résistants. This portrayal was as fictitious as the earlier image of a France with 40 million pétainists, but never mind: It was precisely what the French, emerging from the shock of the occupation, needed.
The student rebellion of 1968 first breached the wall of silence that had been built around Vichy. It also launched the careers of the so-called "nouveaux philosophes." Many of these young firebrands, ranging from Finkielkraut and Bernard-Henri Lévy to André Glucksmann and Pascal Bruckner, were Jewish. They eagerly pummeled figures of paternal authority—Sartre was no more spared than de Gaulle—and ridiculed the myths they had inherited, be it the "singing tomorrows" of communism or the glowing yesterdays of Gaullism. Ultimately, the only thing truly new about these philosophers was their use of the electronic media: The shine of Lévy's mane of hair became better known in France than the substance of his thought.
This was hardly surprising, as the contents of Lévy's shampoo were far richer than the contents of his writing. In particular, his book The French Ideology, which spied a specifically French brand of totalitarianism under every nook and cranny in French history, was especially silly. Yet all of this was irrelevant. What did count, in Rousso's phrase, was the shattering of the mirror in which France had looked at itself for more than 20 years. Walking gingerly among the shards, French Jewry, in particular, began to piece together a new self-image. This work of reassessment had, in fact, already begun in 1967, with the Six-Day War. The existential threat posed to Israel in that war, followed by its stunning victory, galvanized a community that had always insisted on its thorough Frenchness. There then followed the one-two blow delivered by Charles de Gaulle: his decision to impose a military embargo on the entire Middle East, followed by his public reflection that the Jews were an "elite people, sure of themselves and domineering." In retrospect, the general's remark seems less a provocation than an observation many Jews have themselves made. Moreover, de Gaulle's warning to David Ben Gurion on the eve of the Six-Day War—"You will create a Palestinian nationalism, and you will never get rid of it"—proved tragically prescient.
But this is now, while then was then. Even Raymond Aron, the era's most perceptive and least impulsive thinker, was shocked by de Gaulle's observation. Among the first Frenchmen to rally to de Gaulle's call to join him in London in 1940, Aron knew anti-Semitism was utterly alien to the general's worldview. Nevertheless, as Aron recalled in his memoirs, when he heard de Gaulle's remark, "a burst of Jewishness exploded within my French consciousness." Until his death in 1983, Aron wrestled with this tension; for a time he considered naming his memoirs Souvenirs d'un Juif Français. Ultimately, Aron fell back on Mémoires, a simple title that barely disguised his complex and unresolved inner conflict.
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Gas Pains
Recently discovered gas and oil fields could make Israel one of the world's largest energy producers. That threatens Iran's power, which is why its agents in Lebanon are manufacturing a border dispute.


text: http://www.feedbooks.com/store/top.atom?category=FBFIC014040N&lang=en Historical / Modern (<1799) 2014-09-21T04:49:30Z http://assets2.feedbooks.net/images/favicon.ico?t=1411144396 Feedbooks http://www.feedbooks.com firstname.lastname@example.com 261 20 Pirate Latitudes http://www.feedbooks.com/item/52055 urn:ISBN:9780061938740 urn:ISBN:9780061929380 Michael Crichton http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Michael+Crichton%22 2011-02-11T14:48:52Z 2014-09-16T09:41:14Z en HarperCollins 2009-11-23 From one of the best-loved authors of all time comes an irresistible adventure of swashbuckling pirates in the New World, a classic story of treasure and betrayal.The Caribbean, 1665. A remote colony of the English Crown, the island of Jamaica hol... 320 pages 966 KB 4.99 The King's Agent http://www.feedbooks.com/item/205688 urn:ISBN:9780758278142 urn:ISBN:9780758246820 Donna Russo Morin http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Donna+Russo+Morin%22 2012-02-17T06:56:19Z 2013-01-29T14:25:13Z en Kensington 2012-02-27 To the casual observer, Battista della Paglia is an avid art collector, or perhaps a nimble thief. In reality, the cunning Italian is an agent for François, the King of France, for whom he procures the greatest masterpieces of the day by any means... 384 pages 1 MB 9.79 The Tudor Throne http://www.feedbooks.com/item/102854 urn:ISBN:9780758272348 urn:ISBN:9780758255747 Brandy Purdy http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Brandy+Purdy%22 2011-06-08T01:38:20Z 2013-01-29T14:25:13Z en Kensington 2011-06-30 In the wake of King Henry VIII's death, England's throne is left in a precarious state-as is the peculiar relationship between his two daughters. Mary, the elder, once treasured, had been declared a bastard in favor of her flame-haired half-sister... 384 pages 865 KB 9.49 The Queen's Dollmaker http://www.feedbooks.com/item/6282 urn:ISBN:9780758256331 urn:ISBN:9780758238573 Christine Trent http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Christine+Trent%22 2010-11-24T18:08:54Z 2013-01-29T14:25:13Z en Kensington 2009-12-31 On the brink of revolution, with a tide of hate turned against the decadent royal court, France is in turmoil--as is the life of one young woman forced to leave her beloved Paris. After a fire destroys her home and family, Claudette Laurent is str... 352 pages 570 KB 8.79 The Queen's Necklace http://www.feedbooks.com/item/75261 urn:ISBN:9781775450320 urn:ISBN:9781775450320 Alexandre Dumas http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Alexandre+Dumas%22 2011-02-25T17:32:44Z 2013-01-24T14:22:20Z en The Floating Press 2010-11-30 Fans of historical fiction will love The Queen's Necklace, Dumas' gripping retelling of the Affair of the Necklace, a suspicious incident of theft in the court of Louis XVI that some experts say set into motion a chain of events that resulted in t... 438 KB 3.29 Secrets of the Tudor Court http://www.feedbooks.com/item/16356 urn:ISBN:9780758260147 urn:ISBN:9780758241993 D.L. Bogdan http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22D.L.+Bogdan%22 2010-11-25T04:39:17Z 2013-01-29T14:25:13Z en Kensington 2010-04-30 When young Mary Howard receives the news that she will be leaving her home for the grand court of King Henry VIII, to attend his mistress Anne Boleyn, she is ecstatic. Everything Anne touches seems to turn to gold, and Mary is certain Anne will on... 352 pages 540 KB 8.79 Cupboard Kisses http://www.feedbooks.com/item/182650 urn:ISBN:9781611872255 urn:ISBN:9781611872255 Barbara Metzger http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Barbara+Metzger%22 2011-12-18T13:01:57Z 2014-09-02T07:00:58Z en Untreed Reads Publishing 2011-12-14 Well-bred orphan Cristabel Swann tolerates her thankless teaching job -- until her uncle dies unexpectedly. Arriving in London to claim her inheritance, Cristabel encounters something else entirely -- a loutish naval captain who won all of the old... 526 KB 5.29 The Scottish Prisoner: A Novel http://www.feedbooks.com/item/169146 urn:ISBN:9780345533494 urn:ISBN:9780385337519 Diana Gabaldon http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Diana+Gabaldon%22 2011-11-17T09:38:53Z 2014-06-18T00:52:39Z en Delacorte Press 2011-11-28 Includes a preview of the new novel in the Outlander series.London, 1760. For Jamie Fraser, paroled prisoner-of-war in the remote Lake District, life could be worse: He's not cutting sugar cane in the West Indies, and he's close enough... 400 pages 2.8 MB 7.99 The Boleyn Wife http://www.feedbooks.com/item/7032 urn:ISBN:9780758257017 urn:ISBN:9780758238443 Brandy Purdy http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Brandy+Purdy%22 2010-11-24T18:33:02Z 2013-01-29T14:25:13Z en Kensington 2010-01-31 Shy, plain Lady Jane Parker feels out of place in Henry VIII's courtly world of glamour and intrigue--until she meets the handsome George Boleyn. Overjoyed when their fathers arrange a match, her dreams of a loving union are waylaid when she meets... 336 pages 897 KB 8.79 To Serve A King http://www.feedbooks.com/item/47924 urn:ISBN:9780758268082 urn:ISBN:9780758246813 Donna Russo Morin http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Donna+Russo+Morin%22 2011-01-26T14:23:41Z 2013-01-29T14:25:13Z en Kensington 2011-01-31 From her earliest days, Genevieve Gravois has known one fact above all: Francis I, king of France, is her enemy. Raised by her embittered aunt after her parents' deaths, Genevieve has been schooled in things no woman should know: how to decipher c... 384 pages 1.6 MB 9.49 Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade: A Novel http://www.feedbooks.com/item/27045 urn:ISBN:9780440337126 urn:ISBN:9780385337496 Diana Gabaldon http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Diana+Gabaldon%22 2010-11-25T10:34:21Z 2014-06-01T03:33:46Z en Delacorte Press 2007-08-27 In her much-anticipated new novel, the New York Times bestselling author of the Outlander saga brings back one of her most compelling characters: Lord John Grey—soldier, gentleman, and no mean hand with a blade. Here Diana Gabaldon brilliant... 336 pages 2.8 MB 8.99 The Moghul http://www.feedbooks.com/item/97781 urn:ISBN:9781611790818 urn:ISBN:9781611790696 Thomas Hoover http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Thomas+Hoover%22 2011-05-20T09:25:51Z 2013-02-11T09:50:24Z en Fireship Press 2011-05-08 "...the finest book on India since Kipling." India 1620: India is ruled by the son of the great Akbar, and is about to pass his crown to one of his sons. Brian Hawksworth, ship's captain and emissary of King James, must choose sides, but will he ... 974 KB 8.79 The Other Boleyn Girl http://www.feedbooks.com/item/70334 urn:ISBN:9780743233088 urn:ISBN:9780743227445 Philippa Gregory http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Philippa+Gregory%22 2011-02-12T01:23:27Z 2014-06-16T12:01:54Z en Touchstone 2002-05-20 The #1 New York Times bestseller from "the queen of royal fiction" (USA TODAY) Philippa Gregory is a rich, compelling novel of love, sex, ambition, and intrigue surrounding the Tudor court of Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn, and the infamous B... 672 pages 5 MB 11.66 Lord John and the Private Matter: A Novel http://www.feedbooks.com/item/29973 urn:ISBN:9780440334521 urn:ISBN:9780385337472 Diana Gabaldon http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Diana+Gabaldon%22 2010-11-25T12:11:22Z 2014-06-01T03:33:46Z en Delacorte Press 2003-09-29 Adored bestselling author Diana Gabaldon brings us the first book in a new trilogy featuring many of the characters from her wildly popular Outlander series. In her New York Times bestselling Outlander novels, Diana Gabaldon introduced million... 336 pages 2.4 MB 7.99 Shogun http://www.feedbooks.com/item/18932 urn:ISBN:9780307490896 urn:ISBN:9780440178002 James Clavell http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22James+Clavell%22 2010-11-25T06:49:10Z 2013-10-08T02:34:00Z en Dell 2009-02-18 A bold English adventurer. An invincible Japanese warlord. A beautiful woman torn between two ways of life, two ways of love. All brought together in an extraordinary saga of a time and a place aflame with conflict, passion, ambition, lust, and th... 1,152 pages 2.8 MB 9.99 Jackass Frigate http://www.feedbooks.com/item/98016 urn:ISBN:9781935585312 urn:ISBN:9781934757734 Alaric Bond http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Alaric+Bond%22 2011-05-20T09:46:55Z 2013-02-11T09:50:24Z en Fireship Press 2011-05-08 How do you maintain discipline on a ship when someone murders your first lieutenant-and a part of you agrees with their action? December 1796. It was a time of unrest and discontent for Britain, made even worse by the war with Revolutionary Fran... 36.5 MB 8.79 The King's Daughter http://www.feedbooks.com/item/9012 urn:ISBN:9780758262561 urn:ISBN:9780758250964 Barbara Kyle http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Barbara+Kyle%22 2010-11-24T19:36:40Z 2013-08-08T15:12:05Z en Kensington Books 2010-11-30 Upon the death of her father, Henry VIII, Queen Mary assumes the throne after a long exile. Her first order of business is to wed the devout Prince Philip of Spain, creating a powerful alliance that will transform Mary's fanatical dream of ridding... 3 MB 4.29 The Fort http://www.feedbooks.com/item/53890 urn:ISBN:9780062013842 urn:ISBN:9780062010872 Bernard Cornwell http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Bernard+Cornwell%22 2011-02-11T15:20:21Z 2014-08-26T18:07:46Z en HarperCollins 2010-09-27 While the major fighting of the war moves to the south in the summer of 1779, a British force of fewer than a thousand Scottish infantry, backed by three sloops-of-war, sails to the desolate and fog-bound coast of New England. Establishing a garri... 480 pages 1.3 MB 10.99 Lord John and the Hand of Devils: A Novel http://www.feedbooks.com/item/27168 urn:ISBN:9780440337294 urn:ISBN:9780385311397 Diana Gabaldon http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Diana+Gabaldon%22 2010-11-25T10:37:00Z 2014-06-01T03:33:48Z en Delacorte Press 2007-11-26 Diana Gabaldon, the New York Times bestselling author of Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade and the wildly popular Outlander novels, delivers three tales of war, intrigue, and espionage that feature one of her most popular characters: Lord... 2.5 MB 7.99 Dragonfly in Amber http://www.feedbooks.com/item/235561 urn:ISBN:9780440335184 urn:ISBN:9780440215622 Diana Gabaldon http://www.feedbooks.com/search?query=contributor%3A%22Diana+Gabaldon%22 2012-05-10T05:07:55Z 2013-01-20T00:47:27Z en Random House Publishing Group 2004-10-25 BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Diana Gabaldon's Voyager. From the author of Outlander... a magnificent epic that once again sweeps us back in time to the drama and passion of 18th-century Scotland... ... 1.2 MB 8.99


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text: Warning: Declaration of vB_ProfileBlock_vBSEOLikes::block_is_enabled() should be compatible with that of vB_ProfileBlock::block_is_enabled() in ..../vbseo/includes/functions_vbseo_ui_profile.php on line 52 View Profile: Vamuli - Cartographers' Guild Remember Me? Register Help Home What's New? Forum Forum Home New Posts FAQ Calendar Community Groups Albums Member List Forum Actions Mark Forums Read Quick Links Today's Posts View Site Leaders Donate Blogs Gallery Album Gallery Picture Gallery Advanced Search Member List Vamuli Vamuli Guild Applicant Find latest posts Find latest started threads View Articles View Blog Entries Likes Received (0) Likes Given (0) Mini Statistics Join Date 07-09-2009 Last Activity 08-08-2011 11:46 AM Blog Entries 0 Recent Visitors The last 5 visitor(s) to this page were: !!anderson, IanPenn, StephJones, SteveMildred, terminal This page has had 304 visits Tab Content Vamuli's Activity About Me Post AreasLikes Given Tab Content All Vamuli Friends Photos New Activity () Please reload this page to view the 200+ new activity items that have been created. Older Activity More Activity No More Results No Recent Activity About Vamuli Basic Information Date of Birth September 7, 1989 (25) About Vamuli Location: Finland Software Used: GIMP Statistics Total Posts Total Posts 1 Posts Per Day 0.00 General Information Last Activity 08-08-2011 11:46 AM Join Date 07-09-2009 Referrals 0 Post Areas Top Areas Of Posting 0 Likes -- Cartographer -- Default Mobile Style Contact Us Cartographers' Guild Archive Advertising Top All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:29 AM. Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.2 Copyright © 2014 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved. Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.1 Site Copyright © Robbie Powell 2006-2014All posted content is the sole property of the poster and may not be reused without permission, except for cross-site promotions.Digital Point modules: Sphinx-based search


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a Gastronomic experience in Montagu at the foot of the Langeberge, a mere two hour drive from Cape Town. Enjoy contemporary cuisine with the emphasis on using fresh local produce.
The Victorian house, dating back to the late 1800's, has been beautifully restored in rich, warm colours. During summer months dinner can be enjoyed on our terraces in the landscaped garden. Mature trees complete the picture of an evening not to be forgotten.
From chef-owner Heinrich-Werner's kitchen you can expect wonderful food, created with an artistic flair and attention to detail. Only the freshest - and where possible - local ingredients are use to create cullinary masterpieces. Fresh Trout from Franschhoek, delivered 3 times a week, wild mushrooms picked regularly in the forests close to Stellenbosch, herbs and veggies picked early in the morning are just a few of the ingredients on our A-la-Carte or Four course menu.
Expect an element of surprise when dining at Jessica's. Werner loves to work with foams, soft and brittle gels and unusual flavours to enhance a dish, like a few drops of pine needle oil!
We offer an A-la-Carte menu, that changes every 6 months, and also a Four Course dinner menu. Duck confit served with Grand Marnier jelly, spicy chorizo and prawn salad and springbok tartar served with home-made mustard ice cream are just a few of our starters. Springbok, ostrich and lamb are firm favourites on the main course menu. Desserts offer home-made ice creams, creme brulee, coffee pearls suspended in whisky and a decadent brownie to end off a meal. We offer a specialised winelist with wines from the Robertson Wine Valley, which are paired with the menu.
We offer seating for 40 guests, and can cater for small groups and intimate weddings.
"Modern deconstruction cuisine at its very best"


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For every day that passes here in Sweden so I become more and more motivated to stay in the Philippines for a long period of years. Especially in this snow- and slush-time now. Since it is also a big difference in how people are, in the Philippines cheering everyone on each other in a different way. They are kind to each other. Not as in Stockholm, where the biggest and strongest always wins. Here, it helps if you also are nasty… So no thanks to this! Continue reading
Monthly Archives: February 2012
Back in Sweden again…
Now we have been back in Sweden for a little more than a week and the only thing I think about is how and when we can go down again. This weekend we have drawn a first drawing of the house we will build in the Philippines. Mark, we have that since a couple of years and now it begins to contract to build houses. This building will serve as our home while we are there, but also home to some of the people who will work with the construction of the next house. Continue reading
Costa Bohol Photos
Want to stay in a nice place in Panglao, I can recommend Costa Bohol. Here are some pictures I took during the time we lived here.
Not much done today
Today's activities have consisted of a visit to a very nice and it seemed Alert adovkat. He was about 30 years and has received recommendations from friends. Possibly he can help us with various things with our company down here.
Then we spent a few hours in the ICM (Island City Mall) then a small Continue reading
It was an earthquake about an hour ago here. We were in town and checked out some construction materials when everything started to sway. I did not really so much, but Lotiz said it was so we ran out quickly. It turned out that the earthquake was about. 80 miles from where we are now and that it had a magnitude of 6.8. Details about it can be found here
First day with rain
Today we woke up to rain for the first time since we got here. It's a bit nice actually, but setting it up a little when we were thinking we could go shopping for building materials today and just have a motorcycle available. Should we stay in the Philippines eachother longer so you have to almost have a car. We were by the way, looking at a Photos pickup other day. There is a Chinese brand but the motor and Continue reading
Sunday = day of rest
Last night was Joan and Andy pass on some drinks. Then we went to Linaw Beach Resort which is located on the quieter side of Alona Beach. Very nice and neatly and where peace and quiet. Continue reading
Now we have been to Bohol just over a week. We were luckily hold of a great accommodation named Costa Bohol. It is Sharon and Benji who owns the place. There is a small but good pool shared in two small houses. It is situated on Panglao, yet close to Tagbilaran City if you want to buy some.
Then our friends Joan and Andy was so kind to lend us motorcycle so we can get around. Continue reading


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By Laura Thomas - bio | email
MYRTLE BEACH, SC (WMBF) - The City of Myrtle Beach is pushing for more sports tourism in the area, and they may have found one more event.
It's a proposed half marathon that could come to the Grand Strand in October 2010.
Robert Pozo with Continental Event and Sports Management is planning the event and presented the plans to the Myrtle Beach City Council's quarterly workshop Tuesday.
Pozo says the Myrtle Beach Half Marathon would not be a competitor to the Myrtle Beach Marathon, but rather could serve as a training event for runners of the other event in February.
Pozo also says this event will help the Grand Strand economy.
"Running is recession proof. Running has gone up in the early 70s when we were going through tough times, in the early 90s, and now, once again," explained Pozo.
Roy Edmondson of the Myrtle Beach Chamber of Commerce helps to bring sports events to the area. Edmondson says this half marathon will help the economy in the off season.
"It's a great event for the community. It could be a great economic impact, [with] little negative impact to the community as far as road closures go. I think everyone should be pleased that we're bringing more money into the community," said Edmondson.
The Myrtle Beach City Council still has to approve a special events permit, but Councilman Randal Wallace says he thinks the plans will go through.
"This is an exciting prospect," explained Wallace. "I think council, from what I can tell, looked pretty excited about it."
Wallace also says this could be another stepping stone in expanding the city's push for more sports tourism.
"The other marathon we have in February is such a big hit in one of the coldest times of the year," said Wallace. "It's just kind of the tip of the iceburg of what I think sports tourism could bring to the area."
City council is expected to vote on the special events permit on Tuesday, August 25.
©2009 WMBF News. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
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Washington - Dust plumes high in the atmosphere are wafting a vast number of microorganisms from Asia, across the gaping Pacific, into North America.
Scientists detected more than 2,100 unique species compared to only 18 found in the very same plumes using traditional methods of culturing. They have been able to gather enough biomass in the form of DNA to apply molecular methods to these samples.
"It's a small world. Global wind circulation can move Earth's smallest types of life to just about anywhere," says David J. Smith, biologist from the University of Washington, the journal Applied and Environmental Microbiology reports.
It has been estimated that about 7.1 million tonnes of aerosols -- dust, pollutants and other atmospheric particles, including microorganisms -- cross the Pacific each year, according to a Washington statement.
The aerosols are carried by wind storms into the upper reaches of the troposphere. The troposphere, the layer of air closest to earth up to about 18 km, is where almost all our weather occurs.
Co-author Daniel Jaffe, professor at Washington-Bothell, has previously documented especially large plumes of aerosols in the troposphere making the trans-Pacific trip in seven to 10 days. The recent findings are based on two such plumes, one in April and the other in May of 2011, detected at Mount Bachelor in the Cascade Mountains of central Oregon.
Most of the microorganisms -- about half were bacterial and the other half fungal -- originated from soils and were either dead on arrival or harmless to humans.
A few fungal species have been associated previously with crop wilt but scientists had no way of determining if any crops were affected during either plume event.
Interestingly, Smith says, two of the three most common families of bacteria in the plumes are known for their ability to form spores in ways that they can hibernate safely during harsh conditions, making them especially well adapted to high altitude transport.


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The Calling of Christian Writers
- Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The conversation later veers down this charming path, as the Pulitzer Prize winning Christian so casually explains to the secular interviewer on a nationally distributed podcast that John Calvin is "… cool in a lot of ways. If you read his sermons on the 10 Commandments," Robinson explains, "they're absolutely beautiful, profoundly humane interpretations of things that many people find forbidding." She continues, talking about how Calvin situated sacred and human experience "in the mind and in perception," and about how she feels indebted to the 16th century reformer for his understanding of, "… the givenness of everything."
From Robinson, throughout the whole of the conversation, there's not a syllable of defensiveness; there's no awkwardness, no need to shy away from anything she believes. And from Lanpher, there's only respect for a great writer.
More than 1,600 years ago, Augustine argued that Christians not only had a right to employ "the art of rhetoric," but also the obligation. Though sometimes skeptical of literature, he recognized that Christians, should they abandon the field, left it open to "those who expounded falsehood." Browse the shelves at the nearby Borders, and his words ring true.
"Christian fiction"—the books we find in the back of the bookstore—often edify and inspire us. And just as we need composers to create hymns, the church needs writers—novelists and theologians alike—to build up the body, to enhance our worship, to delight us with stories that exemplify the truths of the Christian faith. Still—it may be time to confess that we've left literature in the hands of those who have no hope to offer. It might be time to reconsider our neighbors and their need to make sense of the world; their need for books, poems, and short stories that probe life's mystery, that offer hope without flinching from the Fall's consequences, that don't—by their sentimentality—mock our true state, or the price that was paid for the world's redemption.
Richard Doster is the editor of byFaith. He is also the author of two novels, Safe at Home (March 2008) and Crossing the Lines (June 2009), both published by David C. Cook Publishers.
This article originally appeared at byFaithOnline. Used with permission.
Original publication date: January 13, 2010
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There's work and there's your life's work.
The kind of work that has your fingertips all over it. The kind of work that you'd never compromise on. That you'd sacrifice a weekend for. You can do that kind of work at Apple. People don't come here to play it safe. They come here to swim in the deep end.
Something big. Something that couldn't happen anywhere else.
Welcome to Apple.
Although, it seems quite fitting to give this to teachers as well.


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This week we have 2 brand new webinars for you. We expect these to be very popular, so make sure you reserve your seat.
NEW – Wednesday – February 16th – 11am –
WebDesign.com PRESENTS Chris Garrett:
How to Build Community With Your Blog
This is part 2 of a 3-part special presentation by Chris Garrett, author of ProBlogger – Secrets for Blogging Your Way to a Six-Figure Income. In this session Chris will talk about how – and WHY – you need to focus on building a community with your blog if you want it to be profitable.
You can read more detail here. As well as take a look at notes from the first session.
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Builder Style Manager EXPOSED
Builder Style Manager is the hottest tool for working with iThemes Builder if you don't want to mess with any code. In this webinar, you'll get the nitty gritty about the Builder Style Manager. Plus you'll learn the ins and outs of what areas of your site can be manipulated by the Builder Style Manager. This is the EXPOSED series where we will go through EVERY setting to provide a firm grasp of the tool.
Reserve your seat today – https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/243450770
Coming up next week…
NEW – Monday – February 21st – 11am – Builder Basics
Learn how to use the Builder theme by iThemes. A comprehensive web development package containing 1 parent theme, 23 child themes, and 9 plugins.
Reserve your seat today – https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/692441610
NEW – Monday – February 21st – 7pm – Members ONLY Chat
This is a twice-a-month event where members of WebDesign.com can request specific training. More information for members at http://university.webdesign.com/member-chat/
- All times are Central Standard Time. You can also see the local time for Central Standard Time and Oklahoma City, where we are based by clicking here.
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- Subscribe to the WebDesign.com Events Calendar via Google Calendar or iCal


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Articles by Noah Clark
Labor Day traditions
Kinston residents enjoy the day in a variety of ways READ MORE
Developmental math the focus of LCC's plan
Quality enhancement plan required for re-accreditation READ MORE
Dance to support veteran events
Community social to raise funds for Korean War tribute and Veteran Pavilion READ MORE
Jones County mourns death of former sheriff, trooper
Mason remembered fondly by friends and family READ MORE
Kinston Charter Academy closing its doors
School closing due to financial struggles READ MORE
Kinston Charter Academy closes its doors
248 directly affected by school's closure READ MORE
New system making changes to Lenoir County Schools
Parents will soon have more access into their child's education as revealed at the Lenoir County School Board meeting last week. READ MORE
Students at APA reflect on homeschooling experience
At Arendell Parrott Academy, there are some students who have experienced both worlds of school and homeschool. READ MORE
Update: Marine vet raises awareness of military suicides
A veteran walking across the country is traveling through Lenoir and Greene counties today on his way to Washington, D.C. READ MORE
CSA farm offers produce for a subscription fee
LeRay operates a Community Supported Agriculture farm READ MORE


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Industry-funded front group praises Guinta and Bass
It will probably come as no surprise to learn that Congressmen Frank Guinta and Charlie Bass have been honored by an organization with close ties to the GOP and the pharmaceutical industry — but you might not be expecting the group to be masquerading as a nonpartisan, grassroots organization.
Guinta and Bass recently received "Standing Up for Seniors" awards from RetireSafe for their efforts "to protect the health benefits and security of New Hampshire seniors." RetireSafe claims to be a non-partisan organization lobbying for America's seniors, but last year Roll Call unmasked the organization as a partisan, industry-funded front group.
The Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America, (PhRMA) contributed $88,000 to RetireSafe during the past three years, reported Roll Call's Janie Lorber. "While that is small change from PhRMA's standpoint, it is a sizable contribution compared with RetireSafe's more modest budget," she wrote.
The group's partisan ties are well documented. For example, Board member Jim Marquez was general counsel for the Transportation Department under Ronald Reagan, board member Charles Partridge advised George W. Bush's transition team, and vice president of public affairs Al Cors, Jr. previously worked for the National Taxpayers Union and the National Rifle Aassociation.
In 2003, RetireSafe participated in Grover Norquist's National Taxpayer Rally along with a right-wing who's who including the National Taxpayers Union, the Heritage Foundation, the Cato Institute, the American Conservative Union, the industry-funded Citizens Against Government Waste and pharmaceutical front group 60 Plus Association.
Talking Points Memo quotes former DCCC spokesman Doug Thornell on RetireSafe's impact. "Right-wing front groups like RetireSafe can spend little money, but still impact races," he explains, "by just having Orwellian-sounding names and slick mailers that try to dupe seniors into supporting positions that run counter to their best interests."
"The awards," Lorber wrote, "provide these Members with valuable political cover for supporting controversial bills and can then be used as a credential on the campaign trail." Right on cue, Guinta accepted the award saying, "Granite State seniors can always count on me to be in their corner."


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"The invitations arrived looking just how they are shown on line. An adorable design on quality card stock. Very please with product!"
"This invitation is made with quality paper and the colors are just as seen online. I'm very pleased with them! The only negative is I was shorted 1 invitation. Thankfully, I ordered a couple extra."
"This was the perfect design for a gender neutral shower that said baby without being cutsey, That is hard to find! So glad that we found this card, it suits our mom to be perfectly."
"These turned out even more gorgeous than I imagined. I got so many compliments well before our baby shower about how much our guests loved the deco style invitations. I ordered the white shimmer paper for printing to accent the gold and give the invites a more luxe look. Divine!"
"These invitations are so cute and perfect! I recently ordered another style from this company, but they were damaged so I had to order more. These looked more interesting than the original ones so I chose these as a replacement. The envelope's they came with had our address printed on the back (which was extra but well worth it). The print on the card is amazing, and the colors are very bright."


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If you can guess the score of the 2013 Super Bowl between the San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens, you could score huge prizes courtesy of FanSided partner RetailMeNot.com
Get the score right and you could some serious loot, including tickets to a game, fan gear, a flat screen TV and pizza for a year! Visit http://www.retailmenot.com/
RetailMeNot's "Guess the Score and Score the Savings You Want with RetailMeNot.com" contest starts today and is a chance to win the ultimate fan package. Submit what you think the final game score will be for the chance to win:
- Grand Prize Winner will receive (2) football tickets of their choice, apparel, a 60 inch flat screen TV and free pizza for a year
- (20) Runner-Ups will win $100 for TicketsNow.com
The contest ends February 3.
Good luck!