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By Abbey Niezgoda
For a short week, it has been a long couple of days for Kelly Bollinger. The binders filled with homework are all she has left of the medical assistant degree she was working on at the Sawyer School, which closed its doors earlier this week without notice.
"This is what I actually worked my hardest on," Bollinger said. "And for it to go to waste, it's a shame."
Instead of going to class, she has had to go to meetings with officials and lawyers, searching for answers. It has been radio silence from the school's presumed owner Michael Kelly until now.
"Mr. Kelly has provided us with a way to access the Sawyer School," Board of Higher Education spokesman Michael Trainor said. "Our goal is to identify where all of the students records are."
The locks were already being changed at the location in Providence so those records can be handed back to the students who want to finish their degrees elsewhere. A couple of schools have already offered to accept them, but they still do not know how that will impact their financial aid,if they will ever get their tuition dollars back from Sawyer or if their credits will even transfer.
"We're looking at the curriculum at Sawyer and working with, for example, Lincoln Tech to see what would be applicable for a transfer and what might not be," Trainer said.
"I'm hopeless right now that things are ever going to get figured out," Bollinger said.
The Board hopes to have the records back to students like Bollinger by sometime next week, but with so many unanswered questions, it is easy to feel overwhelmed.
"This is the closest I've ever come to completing something," Bollinger said. "I was going to be the first of the four of us to go to college and now I can't do that because there's no school."
The Board has added extra manpower to the telephone hotline in order to help Sawyer students. Anyone affected can call: 401-277-5018.
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You know, there is something simultaneously hilarious and disgusting about Blogginheads hosting Ann Althouse (of boob-shaming fame) and Robin Givhan (of WaPo's cleavage coverage) in a clip called "Michelle Obama's Arms." It's like they have no shame whatsoever. (And they really, really should.)
If Bloggingheads is really supposed to be about making political discourse better by circumventing corporate television to give folks ample time to talk about issues in depth (rather than in sound bites) – then why in the world would they produce something like this, which basically embodies the worst of American media?
Or maybe this is just what they think "women's issues" are? Tits, arms and power suits?
8 Comments
are they seriously having a 'serious' conversation about sleeves?!?
Michelle Obama carries weapons? That *is* newsworthy. Have we ever had a First Lady who was packing before? Does she not trust a possibly racist Secret Service to protect her husband? I'd love to hear that discussion…
…oh, wait. it's about her arms as *body parts*?
Do they realize this has less significance than a picture of my cat with a funny ungrammatical caption on it?
Hahahahaha, at first I read "Anna Althouse" as "Anal House."
Can I admit something? I can't watch the video because I'm at work, but Michelle DOES have stellar arms. I am jealous.
This is just stupid. All I needed to see was the name Ann Althouse. "Let's talk about women…" leads to a discussion of designers and sleeve length. For NINE MINUTES. Classy, classy stuff. On the plus side, at least Althouse didn't make it all about herself this time.
There is so much I would rather know about Michelle Obama than what her arms look like.
I think they need to start fining journalists who waste people's time. maybe we can stop them from totally destroying democracy in this country,…
michelle obama has a constitutional right to bare arms!
Jeez, more useless crap news! Ugh, can't these people just leave news to people who aren't completely shallow wastes of carbon?

subset: commoncrawl


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Dallas, TX -- (ReleaseWire) -- 02/19/2014 -- Indian refurbished medical equipments market can grossly be divided into two kinds of manufacturers: the ones offering life support devices like ventilators and defibrillators and the ones offering the heavier medical imaging equipments like CT scanners, MRIs and the X-Rays. Most of these devices are imported, bought from OEMs and sold in India. A current shift in the ownership model has been observed where the OEMs prefer to set up their own refurbished goods base in emerging nations like India, than to tie up with third party vendors. Most of these third party owners usually act like brokers intending to just sell of the refurbished product; giving bad name and maligning the name of the original equipment manufacturer. Certain backhand knowledge and technical expertise is needed to ensure the refurbishment is carried out properly.
Complete report Available at http://www.marketreportsonline.com/314542.html.
India so far has had no ban on imports of these medical equipments, whether they are high-quality equipments refurbished to the original manufacturer's specifications or second-hand equipment of undefined quality. India has been quite vocal in introducing many healthcare reforms in order to meet its premium objective of "healthcare to all". Refurbished medical devices have contributed significantly towards realization of this objective and have been the mainstay of private hospitals, charitable organizations and small scale diagnostics. The onus of promoting this industry is fairly driven by various hospital chains in the country, which are struggling to meet the cost of new imaging equipment despite budgetary constraints and long budget constraints and long budget approval process.
Purchase a copy of this report @ http://www.marketreportsonline.com/contacts/purchase.php?name=314542.
Refurbishment is a well-established element of the global healthcare economy and has been there since long and is here to stay till the time there is a need for medical equipments. It is one of the pressing needs in today's healthcare scenario where quality and cost effectiveness go hand in hand, where budgetary constraints dominate the purchase practices of healthcare providers.
Refurbishment comes across as a step towards increasing ecological consciousness in a recycling economy. Many original equipment manufacturers as well as standalone refurbishers' have established their separate refurbishing units and have been delivering equipment across the healthcare sector. Much to amusement, refurbishing provides additional value to a new user and reducing the toxic and waste disposal burden.
Major points from Table of Contents (http://www.marketreportsonline.com/314542-toc.html) are listed below:
1. India Medical Equipment Market Overview
2. India Refurbished Medical Equipment Market Overview
3. India Refurbished Medical Imaging Equipment Market
4. Supply Chain Analysis for Refurbished Medical Imaging Equipment
5. Regulatory & Policy Framework
6. Refurbished Medical Imagining Equipment Market Dynamics
7. Competitive Landscape
7.1 Biomex
7.2 Sanrad Medical Systems
7.3 GE - GoldSeal Refurbished System
7.4 Soma Tech
7.5 Zigma Meditech India
7.6 Masters Medical Equipments
Related Reports on Medical Devices Market:
Global Transcatheter Aortic Valve Replacement (TAVR) Market Report: 2013 Edition @ http://www.marketreportsonline.com/312039.html.
Medical Devices Market in India 2014 @ http://www.marketreportsonline.com/311699.html.
Contact email@example.com for further information/ details.


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News :: Local
Lena Dunham :: Candid As Always
With her new book and promotional tour, Lena Dunham continues to be the voice of millennials. And as outspoken as ever.
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GLAAD CEO Sarah Kate Ellis to Receive Women Achiever Award
GLAAD President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis and three others will be honored at the Women's Fund of Long Island's 20th Annual Women Achievers Breakfast on October 23.
Urie Brings Smash Hit 'Buyer and Cellar' to Gay Days
The 2014 Gay Days at Disneyland are set to take place Oct. 3 to 5. For its 17th year, the event is expected to attract more than 30,000 LGBT park-hoppers from California and all over the country. And Michael Urie will be performing "Buyer and Cellar."
Rhode Island Walk for Life Benefits AIDS Project RI
About six hundred participants gathered on the south lawn of the Rhode Island State House in Providence on Saturday, September 27, for AIDS Project Rhode Island's 29th annual Walk for Life.
No Decisions Made on Pink Saturday
Suggestions ranging from mandatory bag checks to making Pink Saturday a daytime event were discussed at a recent community meeting, but no decisions were made.
Campos Seeks Funds for PrEP Access
Supervisor David Campos on Tuesday, September 23, introduced legislation requesting supplemental budget funds to expand use of pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, to prevent HIV infection.
LV Pride Hosts National Coming Out Day Family Festival
National Coming Out Day (NCOD) promotes public awareness of gay, bisexual, lesbian and transgender rights and celebrates sexual diversity in our families. Attendees can expect great drink specials, hot go-go dancers and special surprises.
International Celebrate Bisexuality Day Comes to Boston
Bisexual individuals and organizations around the world will be gathering to mark International Celebrate Bisexuality Day. In recognition, the Bisexual Resource Center is hosting a Boston-based event on Friday, September 26 at Calamus Books.
Ben & Brad Celebrate Sterling Silver Memories
Benjamin Sears & Bradford Conner celebrate their Silver Jubilee as a song duo with two special performances, along with a one hundredth anniversary performance of Irving Berlin's first Broadway show, "Watch Your Step."
Out SF School Board Candidates Back New Curriculum Standards
The two out candidates seeking seats on San Francisco's school board are supportive of the new curriculum standards known as Common Core.
Providence: Mayor OK to Send Firemen to Gay Parade
Former Providence Mayor Buddy Cianci did not violate the rights of firefighters ordered to drive a fire truck in a 2001 gay pride parade, a lawyer for the city argued to the Rhode Island Supreme Court on Tuesday.
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In an effort to improve health outcomes in San Francisco, Mayor Ed Lee has announced the expansion and alignment of three successful community health collaboratives into one body, now known as the San Francisco Health Improvement Partnership.
Latest News
August 02, 2013
July 25, 2013
UCSF will offer free dental screenings and health education in the Mission District this weekend as part of San Francisco's "Sunday Streets."
June 24, 2013
Construction is set to begin this summer on a dynamic public plaza space that will provide a rich and varied experience for thousands of people at the new UCSF Medical Center at Mission Bay.
June 04, 2013
The turnout for this year's free skin cancer screening hosted by the UCSF Department of Dermatology made it one of the most successful. The blazing Saturday sun may have been an appropriate reminder about the importance for getting checked.
May 22, 2013
The many ways in which UCSF students reach out to the community are as diverse as San Francisco itself, from combating Hepatitis B to hosting radio shows about science careers.
May 15, 2013
Chancellor Susan Desmond-Helllmann, MD, MPH, presented awards to 11 members of the UC San Francisco community for their extraordinary contributions to the University and beyond.
May 13, 2013
UC San Francisco, a frequent high-performing team at AIDS Walk San Francisco, will again for the gold – the honor given to the top fundraising organizations participating in the annual event.
May 09, 2013
Lowell High School football player Jacky Tang went through a barrage of medical tests at UCSF's PlaySafe Cardiac Physicals, an interdisciplinary clinic designed to detect underlying medical abnormalities in young athletes and prevent sudden death.
April 23, 2013
UCSF is a part of a broad coalition called San Francisco Health Improvement Partnerships (SF HIP) that's been tackling health disparities across the city's diverse population.
April 01, 2013
The Abundant Life Health Ministries Initiative is a partnership between UCSF and nearly 30 churches across the Bay Area to address health disparities of minority populations.


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Rendezvous with Manhattan History
As Borough Historian, Michael Miscione digs into the rich past of New York City
In 1998, Michael Miscione was a television producer, when he decided to make a documentary in honor of the centennial consolidation of the five boroughs. This project was the beginning of his life as a New York City historian.
"This was a life-changing moment because it made me realize how much I loved New York City history, said Miscione.
Miscione has a position few New Yorkers even know exists's he is the official historian of the borough of Manhattan. The position is state mandated and each borough has an historian appointed by the borough president.
When Scott Stringer became Manhattan borough president in 2006, Miscione met him at a debate and told him he would love to be the new borough historian if the then-current borough historian, Caledonia Jones, stepped down. When the vacancy became available, Miscione became the seventh historian to hold the position.
"I like the terms 'position" and 'appointment" better than 'job," because the word job implies a paycheck, Miscione said.
The position is unpaid, which means that borough historians have day jobs. "I and my fellow historians sort of fit it into the cracks of our lives, the Upper East Side resident said. Miscione also works as a tour guide.
In Miscione"s role as borough historian, he holds press conferences to commemorate important anniversaries, gives speeches and answers questions from media, the public and city institutions.
Two big anniversaries coming up this year include the 200th anniversary of the creation of the street grid and the 100th anniversary of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire.
"I am getting assaulted with triangle fire everything, and the actual anniversary isn"t until weeks from now, said Miscione.
Last year, Miscione held an event in honor of the 75th anniversary of the creation of the urban legend of alligators in the sewer. The myth stems from an incident Feb. 9, 1935, when several teenagers in East Harlem were shoveling snow into an open sewer manhole and found a 7-foot-long, 125-pound alligator.
Although Miscione will answer questions to the best of his ability on most topics, he has limits. Very soon after Miscione was appointed, he received a phone call from somebody asking him about a great-grandfather who had lived on the Lower East Side.
The job description specifies that borough historians don"t do genealogies. "So I had to break this man"s heart and tell him I didn"t know anything about his great-grandfather.
Another area Miscione doesn"t like weighing in on is disputed neighborhood boundaries.
"There are very, very few officially definable neighborhood boundaries, and yet for some reason people get so wrapped up in this, said Miscione. "When you tell them that it is blurry or undefined, they get upset.
Miscione grew up in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, and has lived in Turtle Bay for his entire adult life. The origin of Turtle Bay, he said, has nothing to do with animals and is thought to be an Anglicization of a Dutch word.
"Being a native New Yorker and having lived through some of the history I talk about is a real asset. It makes me personally familiar with some of the things that have happened and it has given me exposure to the five boroughs. It"s very easy to become provincial if you just stay on your little island, but that is a bad way to be.
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Book Description:
In this follow-up to the popular Bungalow Details: Exterior, Jane Powell and Linda Svendsen go inside the bungalow, to identify and explain the wonderful details that make a bungalow authentic, from wood floor to beamed ceiling! Arts & Crafts homes often feature an attention to detail and design that is lacking in all but the most expensive homes built today. Yet, in the iconic home of turn-of-the-century working-class folk, these details were ubiquitous-wood detailing, built-in furniture, art glass, beamed ceilings, inlaid floors, extensive tile work, and impressive fireplaces were featured in even the most modest bungalow, just as they were in the larger architect-designed counterparts. Powell's expertise in the era and Svendsen's captivating photography combine to focus on the important details that make these simple homes as beautiful and easy to live in now as they were at the time they were built. From plate rails to paneling, closets to colonnades, lighting to laundry chutes, and everything in between, Bungalow Details: Interior is a practical and informative resource for restoring, re-creating, or simply appreciating the period details of an Arts & Crafts-era home. Bungalow Details: Interior reveals the "insider" knowledge on how to become an Arts & Crafts details expert!
Tags: Crafts-Hobbies-Home, Home-Improvement-Design, How-to-Home-Improvements, Home-Repair,


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Sunbright - Local Information, Resources & Photos
Sunbright - Searchable Map, Aerial Photos & Driving Directions
Alternate Unofficial Names: Pine Knot, Pine Top, Stapleton.
Sunbright is an incorporated place (Class Code P1) located in Morgan County at latitude 36.2434 and longitude -84.6699. (Sunbright Panoramio Photos). The elevation is 1,312 feet. Sunbright appears on the Pilot Mountain U.S. Geological Survey Map. Morgan County is in the Eastern time zone (GMT -5). Observes DST? Yes. Current Time. | Sunbright, TN ZIP Code Maps | Sunbright local area photos
Photos of the Sunbright Local Area
Sunbright had a population of 592; a land area of 3.78 sq. miles; a water area of 0 sq. miles; and a population density of 156.61 people per sq. mile according to the US Census Bureaue estimate of July 1, 2009. Latest Census Estimates for all incorporated places in Tennessee.
Morgan County: Cities & Towns | ZIP Codes | Schools | Features (airports, churches, hospitals, etc.)
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Reader Story: A Cautionary Tale
Published on - February 28th, 2010 (by J.D. Roth)
This guest post from Maria is part of the new "reader stories" feature here at Get Rich Slowly. Some reader stories contain general "how I did X" advice, and others will be examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success — or failure. This story very much reminds me of the book for unmarried couples I reviewed earlier this week.
This is a story about a relationship between two people and some money.
Part 1
Boy meets girl. Boy moves in with girl. Household expenses are split and all seems well. Years pass. Boy wants to change cities for professional reasons. Girl wants to finish grad school. They make a deal: They'll move when the degree is finished.
Warning signs: She is paying a greater share as the years go by and her career advances. He doesn't take any concrete steps toward advancing his own career. He has sold his car 'to save money' and relies on her to drop him at the train station for his job. He has no real friends and his 'project partners' (in six years, there's only one finished project) all seem to be women. And then:
Part 2
The degree is finished and true to the deal, she starts organizing a move. She researches new jobs cross-country. She rents a truck, makes hotel reservations, and arranges for a friend to drive the car in caravan with them. Oh, by the way, she'll pay the friend's airfare home. She puts down the money on an apartment. She lands a job, but he says he needs some time off work to get things going. They make a new deal: She'll cover the rent for a while so he can concentrate on jump-starting his career. Years pass. His career hasn't started. The subject comes up fairly often, but she hates to fight.
Warning signs: By the end of three years, not only is she paying all living expenses, she's giving him an allowance to cover his "career-building" expenses. He hasn't held a job since the move. His 'project partners' still all seem to be women. He has built no social or professional network and does not participate in her social life. (This didn't bother her much when she was in grad school, but life is different now.) She doesn't really want to live alone, and she tells herself he isn't costing her much more than it would cost to live alone; but their relationship has become that of roommates. And then:
Part 3
She takes up an activity she's passionate about. He isn't interested. She meets someone new and tells her roommate she wants to pursue the new relationship. He panics. He asks her to marry him. He argues. He threatens. He marches her into the bank and stands at her back while she takes cash advances on six credit cards, a total of $30,000. He deposits the money in his own account. She tells him that they can't continue to live together, and she can't afford to move because she doesn't have the money for a deposit. He won't move out. She starts spending most nights and weekends away.
Warning signs: The whole situation.
Part 4
After months of misery, she is able to finally get him out by renting a truck, packing it with almost all their possessions, and driving it to his sister's home nearby. With the expenses of the move, her own living expenses, and the extortion debt, she is barely making ends meet. She has no savings and no assets. She talks things over with the new partner. They decide bankruptcy may be the best solution. She asks around and gets the name of a firm of attorneys.
Part 5
The attorneys hear the story, go through all the paperwork, and agree that going after the ex in court would be both expensive and unlikely to result in restitution. A bankruptcy petition is prepared and filed, at a cost of a few hundred dollars. She has to appear in court. She feels like an idiot, a failure, a disappointment to herself. The judge hears a brief statement of her reasons for the petition, nods, signs off. That's all. Ten years later, the bankruptcy is off the credit report. Had she not filed, she would still be making payments on the debt.
Author's note
This is a true story. I've heard similar stories from half a dozen women, and a couple of men, in my city. At least I never married him. At least I didn't have to smuggle my belongings to my office and store them under my desk until I had all the essentials together, and leave for a new state from the office, like one of my friends did. At least I wasn't that scared.
In hindsight, perhaps I should have either moved out immediately or had the bank call the police. But I didn't want to feel responsible if he hurt himself, I surely didn't want him to hurt anyone else, and his behavior was sufficiently frightening that I believed one of those outcomes was possible. So I bought him off.
What is the moral of this story?
Don't cover expenses for another able-bodied adult without a contract, and don't make financial deals that only favor one party.
Reminder: This is a story from one of your fellow readers. Please be nice. After nearly a decade of blogging, I have a thick skin, but it can be scary to put your story out in public for the first time. Remember that this guest author isn't a professional writer, and is just learning about money like you are.
This article is about Reader Stories, Real-Life, Relationships
This woman was a FOOL. That's all. She can blame her ex but she did it all to herself with her eye wide open and no gun to her back. Sometimes we don't like the consequences of the choices we make so we have to vilify others to make ourselves feel better.
As a long time SAHM I have to say that if we were all held to the MORAL of this story were held by all then unemployment would be much worse than it is right now. Not every adult CAN or SHOULD work to support themselves, there just aren't enough jobs in the universe, and non-working adults add value to the lives of those who do work. As anyone who knows one and counts on them to do the things they can't do because of their work schedule. But enough of that…some people will never be convinced. There is no such thing as HAVING IT ALL
A marriage license is a contract I guess, but even that doesn't guarantee anything anymore.
How is this a cautionary tale? I managed to figure this out when I was a teenager in my first relationship when he couldn't even afford to buy me a latte at Starbucks. It's pretty obvious when a person is leeching off your resources, monetary or non-monetary, even when you don't want to believe it. That's what having a support system other than a significant other is for – they see things that you are too blind to see. Where were family and friends in all this?
That's great that you're a survivor of an abusive relationship but it's pretty clear you still haven't learned your lesson from the looks of this blog post. I hope that if you ever have kids, you teach them the value of being self sufficient and not letting the notion of love and romance get in the way. As someone who has dated a deadbeat and got out losing maybe $150 at most, I have no sympathy. This has more to do with your willingness to tolerate these types of men in your life than anything about personal finance.
Guys, please be nice. This woman is sharing her story to try to help people, not to feel sorry for herself. There's no need to call her a fool. That doesn't help anyone.
I sympathize with Maria. We do all look back on situations and realize we've made mistakes. I'm glad she took the steps to move on and I hope this post enlightens others to pause and evaluate if they may be on a similar path.
To me, it's an important reminder to make sure you are comfortable with the financial arrangement in any relationship – Married or otherwise. And, this comfort level has to be periodically reevaluated. If the comfort level cahnges talk it through and consider the options.
Thanks for the post.
56Part of me wants to say that I can't believe how naive some of the commenters here are. And part of me wants to be glad that they have apparently had the kind of life that leads to thinking we all control our destinies.
Predators – and that's what this guy behaved like – don't come with signs around their neck saying "I will treat you nicely just enough to make you think I'm a good person for you to be with, and the rest of the time, I'll beat you down to the point where you think no one else will want you." They start off by imitating "good spouse material." Think of it as their hunting camouflage.
To those folks who think that women should hold out for the really exceptional men, well take a look around at the pool we're working with: most men (and women too) start out as fixer uppers. Who among us didn't "need some work" before we became a great spouse?
There's an initial investment of trust and time *on both parts* before you have a good relationship, and it's normal and right to do some of that investing during tough times.
This is a situation where someone took advantage of someone else. I'm appalled at how much victim blaming there is here. It's all her fault because there were warning signs?! Well, heck, how many of you are married to perfect people who don't ever give you any "warning signs"?
What – he broke the entertainment budget three months running? Well, heck, don't readjust the budget – leave, because that's a warning sign he'll dump you when you're old and saggy! And it'll all be your fault because you didn't pay attention to the warning signs!
For those folks who think this only happens when people cohabit, I will remind you of the fact that plenty of women have put their men through med school, law school, etc., only to wind up divorced when their doctor or lawyer hubbie decides he wants a newer model.*
That guy who (at 29) looks like he'd be a good husband and provider? Well, somehow women are supposed to know that when he's 50, he'll change his mind? Guess what – at 29, HE doesn't even know if he'll change his mind in 20 years.
We all have to live with ambiguity, and we have to live with good decisions that turn out badly and bad decisions that turn out badly. It's called "living." And if we're lucky enough, maybe we'll learn from someone else's decisions.
Thank goodness, Maria, that you had the good sense to shack up before marrying this guy. Thank goodness you had access to birth control. Thank goodness that you got out. And thank you for sharing your story.
*I'm not saying that there haven't been women got newer models, but the fact is that it's more likely to be the other way around.
I'm obviously out of step with a lot of readers today, because I think Maria's willingness to share her story is really courageous. Most of us have made huge, humiliating mistakes, and we hide them under a veneer of "Oh, look how responsible, intelligent, and debt-free I am." But face it, we wouldn't be reading this blog if we didn't resonate with the principle of getting out of debt–which means having debt, doesn't it?
Debt from relationship choices is a particularly painful kind–whether it arises from manipulative partners, folie a deux, or just plain youthful irresponsibility. I have to echo a previous poster who recommended counseling–when I left a disastrous relationship in my late twenties, counseling saved my emotional and financial future. And when, 20 years into a very happy marriage, my partner developed bipolar disorder, with all the crazy spending, the debilitating depressions, and the rest of the symptoms that go with that, counseling (for her and me) saved my life, my finances, and my marriage again! A good counselor can really help you find perspective, balance, and comfort in horrible situations.
Thank you, Maria, for sharing your story.
mimms (comment #56) said everything that I was thinking. Thank you.
It's a shame that smugness seems to be such a common trait in the PF world. JD, thanks for being a breath of fresh air in this field.
Don't move in with someone until you marry them? Are you crazy? What if she had married him, and then moved in with him, and then found out who he really was? He would be entitled to half of her wealth, and alimony. You don't really know someone until you've lived with them. Better to live together and discover what there is to know, than to legally bind yourself to another based on a leap of faith.
Yeah, I have to say I don't understand the level of cruelty and anger that I'm reading about her story, "that happened in the past."
This was her experience. This is how she dealt with it and moved on. If you want to time travel to judge her action you are being cruel and foolish.
This is an example of a financial situation that people need to be aware of; a romantic financial situation.
Some of you think that marriage prevents this from happening to a person?
You really believe that? Ask some folks who have had a married partner run up credit card debt and hide the bills on them.
Bless and be blessed if you figured it out at 17. Some people are not that lucky until 37. Education in terms of how much you have does not make you savvy about kind hearted backstabbers who will love you, take your money and run. Or worse, stay.
Her story is not an opportunity to blame. It is an opportunity to process these events and learn from them.
Personal finance is personal; there is another person on the other side of the monitor that should be respected.
I just wanted to chime in and say thank you for sharing your story and your hard-earned/learned path away from abuse and control. Whether it was physical abuse or not, this is a clear pattern of manipulation and control that has affected many women (and men) who are otherwise highly functioning and intelligent people. Long-term emotional investments mixed with unideal time-and-circumstance of meeting/falling into a relationship have created so many similar stories, many with significant financial repercussions.
Your story clearly struck a cord with a few in the comments, so it was worthwhile to share (despite the negative feedback from some of the less informed.) I wish I could email this to some of my girlfriends and help them find clarity too, but it seems to take more than friends' concern to help wake them up. Kudos for you bravery in finally facing the situation and in being brave enough to share your mistakes and your personal growth in the aftermath.
This is a very painful story to read. Not that I have gone through it, but that I have heard it so many times. You wish you could go back in time and offer counsel at a time where the situation may have been avoided.
I have no idea how many times I have thought I was helping someone, just like Maria did here with her boyfriend, just to have them take advantage and hurt the one that was there to help in the first place!
Hind sight is always 20/20, and we can all say we would have done things different, but when emotions get involved all rules go out the window. That is the main hurdle with personal finance. Emotions can't be avoided, only understood.
As a parting thought, I am a Christian and this reminded me of a passage from 2 Thessalonians 3:10 "…If a man will not work, he shall not eat."
Good words to remember when deciding if what I am doing is actually helping someone, or enabling them.
I hope you will share how things progress from here Maria!
I think the interesing part lies in the psyche – lack of self-worth here. Debt might be a problem, but it is not THE problem (it is a symptom of a larger problem) this girl is dealing with and until the debt (and its cause) are fully faced, the problems will remain in place and she risks running into this same type of problem again. The girl allows a guy to walk all over her for whatever her needs and reasons are and then when it is all over she declares bankruptcy on $30,000? This shows how one's self-esteem/version of self-worth encompasses one's whole being. Had she (albeit an unpleasant task) paid off the loan, etc., that might have rectified her folly with the guy and built some greater sense of self-satisfaction/worth in the end and for future reflection. The filing of bankruptcy just perpetuates the deeper problems.
Thanks A LOT JD and commenters 56, 57, 60 and some others too. Most of the commenters seem to say that the girl was stupid for having been taken advantage of. Even though my own story is a lot less extreme than Maria's I identify with her a lot and I can imagine how easy it could be to fall into that trap – hey, I almost did. Sure, other people might have gotten out of the story way before it got that bad, but we are not all that strong.
About the "don't date deadbeats" argument…. Well, of course it didn't start out like that !! He was in maybe the best school of the country (I'm not in the US btw), he stood by me during my depression years… and yes, he did ask me out first and wowed me with an amazing (all-expense-paid) first date.
I honestly think he is depressed and I kept waiting for him to snap out of it — and trying to help him too anyway I could. It just took me a long time to realize I couldn't help him if he didn't want me to and I had better help myself before it was too late.
To whoever made the comment about my parents letting him move in, well, first in my case I would not say he is an abuser, not at all. Then please DON'T apologize on behalf of my parents. They were great all along and they didn't do anything wrong at all.
I have been in this situation except that I DID marry the guy. I got out at just about phase 3 and while he's never been able to collect on attempted extortion I did other things very wrong in disengaging from the entire relationship. It's not a gender issue or a men vs. women thing – I've seen women do the same thing to men right down to the extortion. Clearly we can't hear the man's side of the story in this one, but ultimately it's about one person taking advantage of another person's trust and love, not about a man taking advantage of a woman.
I'm actually a little horrified at the way some commenters are using this horrific story for their moral soap boxes. Blaming the victim doesn't help anyone and encourages criminal behavior, and marriage while serious wouldn't have prevented this and would have made it worse. Marriage is not the social solution which it's billed; marriage is a very serious commitment – not the magic way to solve social problems. I'm just profoundly grateful women finally DO have divorce rights, or I could easily be living in a cardboard box right now.
I also want to say thank you for writing this story. It's important to remember that abusive relationships are like a self reinforcing cycle: the abuse has the effect of making the abused feel like they deserve it, and that can make ending the relationship difficult, since in the strange world of the relationship the abuser's behavior "makes sense". This is especially true in emotionally abusive relationships where if no one is hitting anyone the abused can find themselves wondering if they deserve to complain.
As for marriage, I've seen situations like this and it can be terrible to find yourself paying alimony, especially if the other party is able to convince the courts they gave up a career for you. This can happen to either gender.
Maria, you are super brave to tell this story, and I'm sure many people will identify. Hindsight is 20/20 in relationships, especially. Incidentally, it seems like a lot of the harshest criticisms are coming from women, and that surprises me.
Commenter 19: according to the CDC, the divorce rates between cohabiting and non-cohabiting couples differs by only 6%. The biggest indicator of divorce remains socioeconomic status and the age at which you marry.
A sad story! Hopefully it will help some readers make wise decisions.
As #5 pointed out… men in all cultures should be lead in relationships.. and if you are in one relationship where the man want to be led.. That is a red flag!
*Tangent alert and possible trigger*
Kris, I've heard it said that the reason people criticize most harshly those who are similar to themselves is to alleviate a sense of fear and powerlessness.
If we (by which I mean the generic "we," not women specifically) can convince ourselves that the other person "deserved" what they got, or that their problems are the result of "bad decisions" exclusively, it enhances a feeling of control and reduces fear.
"If I do/don't [insert whatever decision or characteristic], then I can be assured that I will/won't [experience X]."
The classic example is "If she didn't [wear those clothes, get drunk, walk alone at that time of night, etc.], she wouldn't have gotten raped. Therefore, if I don't [wear those clothes, get drunk, walk alone at that time of night, etc.], I won't get raped."
The problem with this line of reasoning is that there are circumstances beyond our control:
- a jet engine can fall out of the sky onto your head and kill you;
- a drunk driver can hit you and make you completely dependent on others for your care;
- a person stronger than you are can decide to rape you;
- and – as in the case of Maria's story – someone can decide to manipulate your emotions to the point where you think you're being strong enough to stay when in fact you're gradually being weakened enough to be taken advantage of.
So sad that anyone, but especially women, let themselves become doormats and give into co-dependence and scare tactics. Obviously, best not to get there in the first place. But if you start on the path, reach out to support networks ASAP – police, family, friends, a male friend with big muscles.
Holy wow…there are a lot of crazy comments (again). I haven't read them all, but I got to the part where J.D. stepped in.
Maria, first, thank you for sharing this story. I don't think most people have an appreciation for how scary it can be to write this all down and put it in front of 20,000 people.
Secondly, as someone who was in Maria's situation years ago and watched a former boyfriend self-destruct and try to kill himself, it is super important to not ignore the early warning signs. Fortunately I didn't lose quite as much money as Maria–I lost only $5000 or so–but it hurt quite a bit back then.
As women, we tend to want to "help" these guys and we often don't have enough courage or self-confidence to think we can do better. I went through some therapy to help with this and I recommend that path. Maria, thanks again for sharing your story, and I hope the weird comments won't discourage you from doing so over and over again. There are many women out there who will be helped by hearing this.
Mimms, you hit the nail on the head. Maria is incredibly brave for sharing her story, which is unfortunately not uncommon. It seems like the harshest criticism is of Maria and her choices, rather than her abuser (and this sounds a LOT like emotional abuse). Let's not all pretend that we would have made all the "right" choices had we been in her situation. We don't know her situation. It's impossible to know exactly how you'd react until it happens.
Maria, this is a great post; thank you so much for writing it. Haters to the left!
While I agree that it is brave to be sharing her story, I don't see Maria really taking control or learning from it. My advice would be to stop being afraid of doing what is right and trust yourself. Yes, she was emotionally abused, but when she left it was because another man told her to. She declared bankrupcy, despite in the past making enough money to fund the deadbeat, rather than pay debts that she legitimately owed and could have paid back if she worked hard enough. It seems she did this because her new boyfriend told her to. She isn't taking control now, and if a future boyfriend ends up being another deadbeat, I doubt the outcome will be any different.
LOL @ Christine #48!
Thumbs up to the author of #37.
I don't have a problem with cohabitation, but the advice is great!
The cross section of feelings about gender roles in these comments is disheartening. Man, woman, green, blue, or purple – the lesson here is to keep your eyes as open as your heart. It's not about committing to marriage because things like this happen between friends or parent/child as often as they do in romantic relationships. I'm with the writer – get a contract if it's a purely financial relationship. If it's a matter of the heart, try your best to remember to respect yourself and your priorities as much as you are respecting and loving the other person.
Ok I was understanding up until she went to the bank and took out cash advances to the tune of $30K. Um, what?
Can't comprehend.
The guy clearly was bad news YEARS before that happened. This is sad, but what the heck…
@JD. comment #57
Yes, if we all had the power to do the things that we already know are rational there would be no theme for this blog, your upcoming book, etc.
We all make mistakes we could have avoided and that are obviously not smart to other people.
Thanks for posting Maria. Like others I think your story will stick in people's heads and influence them to make better choices.
@ #50: "And guys with money – like myself – would never date such a girl. If a girl doesn't pay her half, then she's the deadbeat. See, it works both ways. You are responsible for yourself, man or woman."
I have to say that I would be very upset if a man didn't offer to pay on the first date. I'm more than willing to pay my fair share as the relationship progresses, but I think chivalry and manners show something about the guy.
It actually makes me quite sad to read comments like this. Whatever happened to being a gentleman? I'm certainly a huge fan of paying my own way, but not on the first date!
I tore my own life apart making poor choices so I know how tempted you are to beat yourself up for making them.DON'T!! I've turned my life around despite being a felon and still on parole. With your education and advantages you WILL be able to build a better life. Learn from your mistakes but don't dwell on them. After all, dwelling on the past just interferes with your present. It takes courage to share your story and I commend you for it. Thank you for sharing.
Great job writing this story so succintly! The emotional details could fill a novel and yet you have given just enough information to make me say Bravo. Thank you for summing up part of my 20′s just wish I had been given the same bankruptcy advice. Instead, ten years later I am still paying. I should have swallowed my pride, not listened to the scary bankruptcy tales and gotten a fresh start. Just wondering if you are like me, thanking God that I didn't have any children with the loser.
totally agree with #59, this is a classic piece of evidence in support of living together before you get married. had they been married, the guy would have all rights to claim spousal support and he would have cost her a bunch in legal fees.
Ouch. Do I detect abuse? I imagine that's what the $30k was about…
I think #56′s comment is the best comment to this post. It's sensible and fair. Kudos, mimms.
I'm not actually sure I agree with the moral. In this case it really didn't work out, but that doesn't mean that, given different people, it can't work out. Sometimes one partner is in a situation where he or she needs monetary support (eg between jobs) or where monetary support enables both to do something new/better/different (eg starting a start-up).
I think I would take different morals from this story… like set limits, or don't cover expenses long distance, or you can dump someone without paying them off, or get outside help when your relationship doesn't seem right anymore… I dunno. But not, "Don't cover expenses for an able-bodied partner without a contract." Not everybody is a user.
I too love #56′s comments. I had to stop at Part 4 (it was like watching a train wreck!)….I've been in a few train wrecks myself and although it was painful for all around me watching and telling me about 'the warnings signs' its part of growing up!
Hindsight is everything…money is money…she got out…in the end, she's a very smart cookie.
The sad thing is that as a cautionary tale goes, it's useless. No one's going to read this, recognize their own situation, and change their behavior because of it.
Sure, everyone will read this and see "girl wants to break up", "guy asks for $30k", "girl says 'OK'" and react with astonishment. And the person who wrote it would have done the same thing if she'd read it the day before it actually happened to her.
It's a sad story with absolutely no ability to change anything for anyone in a similar situation. Some things we have to learn by experience, and that includes pretty much everything in the field of romance. Logic goes out the window for even the most level-headed of us pretty easily in those situations.
Thank you for sharing your story. Good for you for leaving a harmful situation, you deserve much better.
@#86, Tyler:
Wait, you know for a *fact* that this story has "absolutely no ability to change anything for anyone in a similar situation"?
Are you psychic? I might have to hit you up up for the next Powerball lottery numbers.
Seriously, don't go poo-pooing someone's story and say it has "absolutely no ability to change anything". That's a B.S. Blanket Statement and unless you're omniscient, you have no way of knowing whether it will or will not change anything. Maybe me reading it now will change one of my future outcomes.
#37- Five years ago I would have said the same thing. I now have a nephew(31) and a niece(26) living this nightmare. My brother and his wife were terrible examples of a good marriage, and the "kids" are living it out in their own lives. Both supporting dead beats and cannot see it. Drives us all crazy- to the point my mom has given them both "counseling" for presents. Still, unresolved. Until they can see it for themselves…they will not get it. Like Maria- they are both worried that the harm will come to their partner so they stay and pay.
I have no advice. Your story of "getting out" is an important one.
BTW- the young woman who is stated there are no marriageable guys out there after grad school- I guess you don't know my son and his friends. All of them are waiting until they are established before they date for marriage. None have co-habitated and all are interested in having families….All professional men who choose to work the 100 hours a week unmarried. I suspect there are lots of professional women doing the same thing (as I find my friends with daughters getting their MDs and PhD as well). I figure they will all meet when they are about 35!
I can only speak for myself, but I've always felt that as a woman it's really important to be self-sufficient. I don't want to share my money with another adult, or ever be responsible for someone else's living costs. This is one reason why I live alone and am never having kids. I don't want to screw someone over or for someone to screw me over.
Why the hell did she give him $30,000? That's just unbelievable.
@Money Reasons Says:
"Sad story for both individuals.
I feel sympathy for the male in the story. At one time is sounded like he had ambition, but he let himself become a child in the relationship. "
Are you crazy this man threatened her and she feared enough for her personal safety that she would rather give him cash than stay and fight for what is rightfully hers. The man sounds dangerous, and yes she made a choice it is one many women face today; walking out they door often means leaving without possessions, money and other assets.
Cara @ 35: I think that if the roles were reversed, people would be throwing around the words "bitch" and "gold-digger" to describe the deadbeat woman. Whereas here, we even have a few commenters feeling sorry for the asshole!
Agreed with #76. I can sympathize right up until she robs the bank.
I have been in bad relationships, I have made stupid decisions, I have been in situations I didn't know how I would get out of — but I have NEVER robbed a bank. She knew very well that she couldn't pay for what she was taking. She robbed a bank with a credit card to support a man habit, and I wouldn't have any more or less sympathy for a person who robbed a bank with a gun to support a drug habit. Both situations are the result of emotional needs not being met, bad (and abusive) relationships, and a series of bad decisions. All people (drug addicts, murderers, and bank robbers) deserve compassion, and I hope this woman is getting help, but isn't this blog, at least in part, about personal responsibility??
"Ten years later, the bankruptcy is off the credit report. Had she not filed, she would still be making payments on the debt."
This seems pretty flippant for a personal finance blog, and almost like a victory statement. The country is in the financial toilet due to rampant financial mismanagement, and I can tell you that my rates just went up to 25% through no fault of my own.
Compassion, yes, I will give it to her, these were certainly not easy times. I am glad she got out, and I sure as hell hope she learned something – but sympathy for someone who is debt free, starting a new career and romance while the rest of us foot the bill?? Not likely.
And I thought the life insurance comments were rough. Thank you for the post Maria. It takes courage to lay it all out there for everyone to see.
I learned a long time ago that life isn't static. Nothing stays the same. You are either getting better or you're getting worse. MY definition of insanity, at least the one I live by, is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If something isn't working. Change it! Make a decision, take action and move forward. From my perspective, it looks like that is exactly what you have done. Personally and financially. Keep it up!
Thanks for sharing Maria, that must have been difficult to reflect back on.
Most of the critical comments seem to come to a place of not understanding what happened at the bank. Could you clear it up at all? What did he threaten?
For all those wondering why Maria 'chose' to give her partner $30 000…
It's called financial abuse. Abuse is not just physical. I really don't understand why people here aren't able to recognize this fact.
Here's a list of warning signs of financial abuse:
Thanks for sharing your story, Maria.
I had two overwhelming responses to this story and the comments. And I'm really glad Maria shared it and J.D. posted it.
1. It is super sad, though probably not surprising, to see so many gender attacks (even the ones disguised as gentle quips) in the comments. This is one situation between two people. They happened to be male and female in a romantic relationship. As someone else mentioned above, this kind of emotional and financial relationship disaster happens between parents and children, brothers and sisters, same-sex couples, etc. Anyone who has ever felt beholden/obligated to or responsible for another person is at risk of being taken advantage of in this way. In my opinion this is a story more about fear and guilt, than man and woman.
2. There are always two sides to every story. This is Maria's story. The "deadbeat, douchebag, predator" and whatever else he was called has his own story. In my experience it takes two people to screw up a relationship and most people don't enter into one with the intention of being an emotional and financial leech.
This tale reminded me of J.D.'s recent book review on Money Without Matrimony. Timely and important. But I wonder how many of us are emotionally mature enough in our earliest relationships to absorb and practice this wisdom in the throws of first-time romance. Life teaches hard lessons.
@beforewisdom (#23):
"The divorce rate is over 50%."
No it's not. Look it up.
Also, it's more complicated than that.
Excellent post.
Thank you for sharing your story.


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Media: Julie Long (585) 389-2456
Nazareth College is pleased to welcome Gabriel Marshall as director of the Higher Education Opportunity Program (HEOP)/Excel.
Marshall, a graduate of Daemen College, earned a bachelor's degree in English. He holds a master's degree in counselor education and a certificate of advanced study in mental health from the State University of New York Brockport.
HEOP at Nazareth College is a comprehensive program that provides academic support to capable students who, due to lack of academic and financial resources, might not otherwise be able to study at Nazareth. These students are able to excel academically at Nazareth College with support from this program. The Excel program is designed to facilitate access to Nazareth for students whose academics would qualify them for HEOP, but who do not meet that program's criteria on residency and/or income. As the director of HEOP/Excel, Marshall will provide leadership to ensure the continued success of the programs.
Founded in 1924, Nazareth College is located on a close-knit, suburban campus in the dynamic, metropolitan region of Rochester, N.Y. The College offers challenging academic programs in the liberal arts and sciences and professional programs in health and human services, education, and management. Nazareth's strong cultures of service and community prepare students to be successful professionals and engaged citizens. The College enrolls approximately 2,000 undergraduate students and 1,000 graduate students.
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New Delhi - Forward Akashdeep Singh will be leading the 18-member Indian hockey squad for the 7th Junior Asia Cup at Malacca, Malaysia from May 3-13.
Besides India and hosts Malaysia, the other participating teams are Bangladesh, China, Iran, Japan, South Korea, Pakistan and Sri Lanka.
India won the last two editions of the championship at Karachi and Chennai in 2004 and 2008. This tournament will be the qualifier for the Junior World cup to be held in 2013.
Selection trials were conducted at SAI Centre, Bangalore, April 6-7 April by Hockey India (HI)selectors B.P. Govinda, Syed Ali and Balbir Singh, alongwith government observer Harbinder Singh.
The squad:Goalkeepers: Sushant Tirkey, Keshav DuttDefenders: Sukhmanjit Singh, Amit Rohidas (vice-captain), Sampath KumarMidfielders: Pardeep Mor, Harjit Singh, Surender Kumar, Gurmail Singh, Prabhdeep Singh, Satbir Singh, Munish RanaForwards; Mandeep Singh, Akashdeep Singh (captain), P.L. Thimmanna, Malak Singh, Sukhdev Singh, Naveen AntilStandbys: Bhisham Singh Phairembam (goalkeeper), Gaganpreet Singh (defender), Amit Kumar, Jarmanpreet Singh, Amon Mirash Tirkey, Talwinder Singh (all midfielder), Ranjit Singh and
Parvinder Singh (both forwards)


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10. view the firmware and O.S. level on a BlackBerry?
From the Home screen, click
[Options] (or
[Settings], dependent on theme).
[About ]and version information will be displayed. For best service,
support and feature-availability we recommend the use of a device running v4.5 or
Clicking again will display information about other installed software before returning
you to the
[options] menu.
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A tragic but fascinating forgotten piece of colonial history (in the sense of the English Empire.)
Excellent post by Sue Purkiss about the price paid both on the military side and by the local inhabitants for the Battle of the Somme.
We have all heard the claims: People were shorter in the past, and that is why old beds are so short. I am here today to tell you that both "facts" are hogwash! Well, mostly...
History and floor plan of Regency era town houses in London and other English cities.
William Sydney Porter, better known as O. Henry, was a brilliant story teller--with a secret. He first used his pseudonym while doing time.
Ever wondered what bartitsu involved?
It's always interesting to stumble across long-forgotten scandals of the late Victorian and Edwardian eras.
A novelworthy tale of duplicity...
Why British tea was so expensive and what happened as a result: smuggling and product contamination.
Laurie Graham recalls the fate of some lesser-known members of the Romanov family, including Bimbo and his cat.
Nervous conditions: symptoms, causes and types diagnosed in the Georgian era
How goods got to the cities in the 18th century.
Some quick tips for putting your historical fiction in motion.
Victorian Men's Hairstyles & Facial HairA collection of Victorian photographs, depicting some of the hairstyles and facial hair fashion of the time.
Some of these guys are hot. A great roundup of inspiration for your next Victorian hero.
MM Bennetts provides a corrective to our rose-tinted idea of Austenland.
Is it true that the pulverized bones of soldiers and horses who died at the battle of Waterloo were later sold as fertilizer?
I used to live in Waterloo... and put bonemeal on my garden. Just saying.
One of the most interesting eras of ancient British history is when the Romans left and everyone else moved in.
To eat. Begin with that verb: not "opium-addict," nor "smoker" or "drinker"—though this last was most appropriate, since for most of his life Thomas De Quincey preferred laudanum, opium dissolved in an alcohol solution.
A fascinating peek into drug addiction in the early 19th century, via its most famous victim.
One of the English government's weirder money-making schemes.
Interesting post from M.M. Bennetts, although I would love to know how you can be a spy when everyone knows who you are.
Laurie Graham talks telephone (numbers).


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Posts Tagged 'kintetic energy'
CES: Power Peg
What is it: The Power Peg is a 'kinetic energy charger'. Place the device in your backpack or on your hip while you walk or run and up to 5 watts is generated, which is enough to power an iPhone or iPod. Features: Mini USB inp...


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Do mammograms cause cancer?
Free radicals (atoms with unpaired electrons) cause cancer. Radiation (grossly simplified) is a massive amount of targeted free radicals used to detect cancer (also CAUSING cancer). This study does not surprise me, and it's not the first study I have read with the same conclusion: http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20091201/hl_hsn/mammogramsmayboostcancerriskinhighriskwomen7 Comments • Continue Reading →
Here's the green smoothie recipe I almost always use!
Here's my everyday green smoothie "template" recipe. It allows you to use virtually any green, and any fruit, maximizing the greens. Enjoy! Robyn's Green Smoothie Template Recipe Makes 8 cups of 100% raw smoothie. Put 2 1/2 cups filtered water in the BlendTec Total Blender. Optionally, add: ½ tsp. stevia (herbal sweetener) or […]8 Comments • Continue Reading →
a Time Magazine article you should read
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1917458,00.html Please read this article about the high price of the cheap food we eat. I am extremely unhappy with our president's health care reform plan. (My health care reform would include disincentives for prescription drug use and incentives for healthy living "preventive" measures.) But I'm a big fan of Michelle Obama's organic […]5 Comments • Continue Reading →


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"Home," the first single by American Idol champion Phillip Phillips, has been given a huge sales boost thanks to some Olympic champions.
Entertainment Weekly reports that "Home" was used to introduce the women's gymnastics competition at the 2012 London Olympics on Sunday night, and was then played three more times during the night in pre-taped segments with the women of Team USA. As a result, sales have gone through the roof: The track was languishing down in the 80s on the iTunes rankings, but it climbed back to number six after Sunday night.
"Home" isn't the first American Idol song to air in conjunction with the Olympics. In 2008, David Cook's coronation single, "The Time of My Life," was also used to soundtrack that year's Summer Games.
In a related story, Phillip was presented with a gold plaque marking half-a-million sales of "Home" during a recent tour tour stop in L.A., according to the Hollywood Reporter.
Copyright 2012 ABC News Radio


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Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I'll never let him hurt you, I promise
This is so fucked up2 Reviews
awhaaa?? a LONG chapter!? bahahah, read and REVIEW i'm not kidding even if you thought it sucked i need to know these things so REVIEW MEEEEE
"What is it?" I asked, kneeling in front of her, cupping her face in my hands and wiping away her silent tears with my thumb. "Evan, its okay. You can tell me- "
"I'm pregnant," she mumbled.
It took about five minutes for those words to even process. And I finally clued in as to why she didn't want to tell me. She didn't know who the father was. I stood up feeling next to no emotion. Evan clung to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and crying into my stomach.
"Calm down," I said, peeling her arms away from me, "I just... I need to think."
"Are you mad?" she asked through tears.
"I can't be mad at something you had little to no control over.. I just.." I paused.
"Just what?"
I took a deep breath in, "Do you have any idea how fucking complicated things will get if its not..."
"I know Gerard, its not like I fucking want this,"
I shook my head, realizing how insensitive I was being, "I know, its okay. Listen I'm here. And I'll help you. Everything will be fine,"
She smiled weakly, "Thank you,"
Later, after a very long lapse of silence, Evan fell asleep in my arms. I carefully pried myself away from her, then finding my self walking to the kitchen, sitting next to Mikey a cup of coffee warming my hands.
"So?" he asked.
"This is so fucked up," I mumbled into my cup, before taking a large gulp.
He sat uncomfortably for a minute, making it evident he didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry bro. I hate to say this but did you ever think that Evan isn't the victim in all this?"
I gave him a look, "She's the one that keeps getting abused."
"I know that-"
"Well then how can you say something so stupid?!" I replied, I little too loudly.
"Frank called today, we talked for a long time. Its not like he wakes up in the morning and decides he's going to hit her,"
"So that makes it okay?" I yelled, "He manipulates people, that's what he does. And now he's got you too"
"She's just as manipulative Gerard, think about it." he said, his words almost venomous, "Do you know where Frank even is right now?"
"No, and I don't fucking care. Do you honestly believe the words that your saying right now?"
Mikey shrugged. "He's put him self in an anger-management program at the mental institution. He really loves her."
"Thanks for fucking defending him over your own flesh and blood." I hissed before storming out of the house. I needed a fucking cigarette.
I stepped around the corner after hearing way to much of that conversation. Mikey's eyes widened and he began talking a million miles a minute. All I caught were about three I'm sorry's.
I stopped him, "Its okay. You're right,"
He furrowed his brow in confusion. "I am?"
"I don't even care anyway. Frank called?"
He nodded, still that look of utter confusion on his face. "Yeah, I have a number, if you want to talk to him..."
He handed my post-it note with a phone number scrawled across it. I grabbed the cordless off its cradle and shuffled into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I sat down on the cold tile floor cross-legged and leaned against the door.
I didn't really realize just what I was about to do until someone picked up on the other end. "Hello, Clifton Mental Hospital, Judy speaking, how may I help you today?"
Mental Hospital? What the hell?
Then I realized this was the part when I was supposed to say something. "Oh, Um yes, is there anyway I could talk to Frank Iero?"
"One moment please," she said, followed by the beep signaling I was on hold.
A few minutes later he picked up the line, "Hullo?"
I swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in my throat. "H-hi," I managed to spit out.
"Evan? You aren't supposed to know I'm here."
"I accidentally overheard Gerard and Mike talking."
"Oh....accidentally huh?"
I sighed, "Okay, not completely."
"Why did you call I thought you hated me anyway,"
"I've told you this a million times over Frankie, I could never hate you."
"You got really mad when I showed up the other day I just thought-"
I cut him off, "I. Could never. Hate you." I repeated, slower this time.
"Well I'm getting better here. I'm gonna learn some self control. You know..."
"I have something to tell you,"
"What's that?"
"I'm pregnant...with your kid...I think."
"You think?"
I nodded, only seconds later realizing that a nod is a motion not a sound, "Yeah... I don't really know..."
"Who the father is?" he finished for me.
"If its mine...will we get back together?" he asked, using that honey-covered almost sickeningly sweet voice.
"I don't know Frank that's not really the first thing on my mind right now,"
"Why'd you call then?"
"To tell you.... and just to talk."
"You miss me," he teased.
I didn't want to admit it, but he was right. "Where are you? Can I come visit you sometime?"
"Yeah, it's about five minutes out of town. Mikey knows where it is. He's coming tomorrow. You can come with him."
I bit my lip, "I might just do that."
"Okay," I could hear the smile in his voice, "I'll see you tomorrow. Bye,"
I pressed then end button and set the phone down on the floor. This is so fucked up
*admires the length of the chapter Oh! ahem sorry, haha k so if something in here doesn't make sense let me know, its one in the morning and i'm very tired. hahaah but i did this all for you! in return for this gratuitous chapter, YOU SHALL REVIEW ME!! hahahahaha. if you don't give me reviews, i will shrivel up and die from a serious lack of nourishment. ANYWHO! enough rambling hope you ENJOY!!*


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Mareilles is situated in the Haute-Marne (Champagne-Ardenne region) in the north-east of France at 12 km from Chaumont, the department capital. (General information: Mareilles is 227 km from Paris).
Popular places to visit nearby include Langres at 36 km. For more places to visit and local tourist attractions see the map and listings below.
Some places that we or our contributors have visited and reviewed and can recommend close to Mareilles. Note that all distances shown are 'direct' and real driving distances will be greater.
Hover your mouse over photos for navigation buttons
Champagne-Ardenne (surrounding region)
Local markets
Below we show places with official tourist classifications and other places of interest to visit nearby that should provide inspiration if you are visiting Mareilles and wondering what to do next! Positions of each of these attractions is shown on the map below.
Recommended detour towns (fr: plus beau détour) Langres (36km)
Remarkable gardens Le château du grand jardin (30km); Le jardin de mon moulin (31km); Jardin d'Ode (37km)
Protected historical centre (fr: secteur sauvegardé) (see also historical French towns) Neufchateau (37km)
Sites of natural beauty Cotes de Meuse (42km); Lac du Der-Chantecoq (56km)
Villages in bloom 4* (fr: ville fleurie) Colombe-le-Sec (35km); Rollainville (40km)
Commune: Mareilles
Canton: Andelot-Blancheville
Arrondissement: Chaumont
Department: Haute-Marne
Region: Champagne-Ardenne
Postcode: 52700
from Chaumont (prefecture): 12 km
from Paris: 227 km
from Calais: 394 km
from Nice: 522 km
from Bordeaux: 581 km
from Strasbourg: 189 km
We have 6 other places listed nearby (within 6 kilometres of Mareilles): Briaucourt, Chantraines, Cirey-les-Mareilles, Darmannes, Rochefort-sur-la-Cote and Treix.
This page in French: Visitez Mareilles
Not yet a member!? Make more of your visit with your own personal trip planner.
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I told Pierce a thousand times! I never wanted to meet LeVar in person! I just wanted a picture! You can't disappoint a picture!
perfect face
(Source: sofuckingbeautifulbaby)
I don't know why this exists, but I approve.
Have totally blogged this before, but look at donald's perfect face. It's perfect. Over and over again.


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Lodi High School is hosting a six-week baseball camp starting Jan. 4. Lodi head coach Hobie Schultz will direct the program in conjunction with U.S. Baseball Academy.
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The Rockwell 10-Inch Portable Table Saw is ideal for any home or workshop with limited space or on the jobsite. Plenty of power and work space to get the job done. Includes open leg stand.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Netherscourge said...
Definitely take up mining and skinning all the way to 70. Skinning and mining will also help you level up faster - since several quests require skins and ore and some mobs will drop quest items you need when you skin them - same with the ore quests - some ore you mine will have quest items. (Netherwing Dailies, for example, have a Daily Ore Turn-in, which you can get from mining the deposits around Netherwing Ledge in SMV)
These days, I wouldn't touch any armor-producing professions, because anything you can craft will always be inferior to what you can get from PvP, Dungeons and even Reputation Rewards. Use the money you make from Mining and Skinning to BUY whatever cool craftables you want off the Auction House (noting that a couple you can't use without being a crafter yourself).
I'd go with Enchanting, Engineering or Jewelcrafting, if you choose to drop skinning. Keep mining, because it's used in Engineering and Jewelcrafting. Enchanting works with anything (it's also off-shoot gathering profession, from the shards you get from DE'ing items). Engineering has lots of cool stuff and gadgets (Jumper Cables, Scopes, Gyrocopters) and Jewelcrafting is awesome for filling out sockets in armor, which seems to be a staple now for high-end items.
Blacksmithing, Tailoring and Leatherworking are largely useless, IMO. Blizzard destroyed a lot of the "old-world" stuff with the Expansion and the armor-producing professions have really never recovered.
If you need bags, Armor Patches or Riding Crops - just buy them off the AH or buy the mats and ask someone to craft them for you.
So long story short - take Mining and Skinning to 70. Then, drop Skinning for Enchanting, Engineering or Jewelcrafting and reap all the benefits :)
This is just my opinion - ignore me if you wish. :)
"Blacksmithing, Tailoring and Leatherworking are largely useless, IMO."
LOL. Are you playing the same game I am? My warlock is raiding SSC/TK and is still wearing 2 tailored pieces he made at 70 (Spellstrike Hood and Frozen Shadoweave Robe) and has ADDED two more since we hit T5 content (Belt of Blasting, Boots of Blasting). I can't comment on BS or LW, but in tailoring, some of the best gear you can get is made by tailors. Not just for gearing up for Kara, not just for starting raids, not just for leveling, some of the best gear you can get.


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New York Times Gives World's Most Lukewarm Endorsement to Ken Thompson
With friends like these ...
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With friends like these ...
And reproductive-health advocate Sandra Fluke joins her.
In a race this tight, personal battles become a campaign weapon.
This wouldn't be happening if Hillary had accepted his offer.
A controversial landlord of private homeless shelters.
The mayoral hopeful's early campaign promise is a doozy.
He's a "common billionaire," and sports Joseph A. Banks to prove it.
They don't have a high opinion of hizzoner.
She supports the man but not his policy.
George McDonald had planned to run as a Republican, where the field was more open.
Though he still hasn't made up his mind.
We don't give a lot of thought to all the good things about the MTA.
They aren't thrilled about a left-of-center career politician in City Hall.
Christine Quinn can breathe easy.
He'll have to decide soon, but he's a bit busy at the moment.
Everyone, a little. But some more than others.
He's a lot more competitive for comptroller.
Looking to bridge the five-borough geopolitical divide.