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Categories > TV > Thunderbirds > Enhanced
Answers0 Reviews
After participating in a rescue at a US research base John begins experiencing strange and amazing side effects.
Chapter Ten: Answers
Thunderbird Five
That Same Time
Alan Tracy smiled triumphantly as the program he was using to break into the US government computer network slipped in through the last of their firewalls into the main information system. There would still be barriers around specific areas for him to get through but that would not be a problem. Feeding in the search request for information on any and all technologies that had been undergoing research and development at the research base in Nevada he waited.
After a moment the search program reported back that it had detected additional firewalls and guardian programs designed to catch any unwary intruder or unauthorised person from accessing that part of the database. A part that Alan noticed uneasily was used extensively by both the wing of the military that dealt with black projects and the intelligence services especially the CIA and NSA. The fact that those two paranoid agencies could have been involved in whatever had been researched at that base was worrying.
He made a few adjustments on the console before him and then sat back to wait for the search program to slip past the guardian programs and through the firewalls. Hopefully it would not be long before he got his father some answers about what exactly the government had been up to at that base. And what it was doing to John.
Tracy Island
Scott and John were unsurprisingly the last ones to arrive at the sickroom and it came as no surprise to them to see the whole family - except Alan of course and grandma who was still away on the US mainland - waiting for them along with Brains, Kyrano and Tin-Tin.
No one spoke as they came into the room and moved towards where Brains was standing at the diagnostic bed. As he approached the diagnostic bed again John took in the adjustments that Brains and Gordon had made to it. Long tracks had been added to the left and right side of the diagnostic bed and each mounted a slim bio-scanner unit. The pylon like units lacked the elegance of the commercially available models but that was no surprise considering that Brains had made them in a hurry. Both units trailed optical cabling that plugged into the base of the diagnostic bed.
"I know the set-up doesn't look pretty but it will do the job we need it to do," Gordon said watching John.
"Looking nice doesn't matter as long as we get some answers," John answered as he climbed up onto the diagnostic bed and lay down flat on the surface.
"T...T...True," Brains agreed. "Are you ready John?"
"As ready as I'll ever be," John replied hiding his nervousness about what Brains might find.
Brains gave John a reassuring smile then turned to the control console and powered up the new systems of the diagnostic bed before bringing the other systems on line as well.
The inward facing panels on the bio-scanner units lit up then a band of translucent green light grew between the two units. Then they began moving slowly along the track the glowing scan field between them passing through John's body scanning him right down to the submolecular level. To John the scan felt really, really strange as the scan passed along him the parts of his body the scan beam was currently going through tingled weirdly - it wasn't strictly unpleasant but it wasn't really comfortable either. And even when it passed a faint tingling like very mild pins and needles remained behind for several seconds
The scan took almost two minutes to complete - two minutes that got increasingly uncomfortable for John. He sighed in relief when the bio-scanners shut down their sweep completed. But then the normal diagnostic scan unit came on again at its maximum sensitivity and slowly swept John's body with its laser-fan like scanning beam taking almost a minute to complete its task.
Brains examined the analysis as soon as it appeared on the consoles display screens. The analysis took longer than it normally would as the amount of information gathered by the bio-scanners and the diagnostic sweep was far more than the amount of data the system was normally designed to cope with. Indeed Brains had had to add data buffers between the bio-scanners and the main diagnostic system for the whole thing to work in the first place.
But what he saw when the scan results finally popped up on his screen made his jaw drop open in amazement. What on earth are these things, he thought.
"Well Brains," Jeff Tracy prompted. "What has the scan revealed?" John sat up and looked at Brains and had the situation been any different he would have laughed at the completely dumbfounded look on the technical genius's face.
"What is it?" John prompted.
"I'm p...p...putting it up on the m...m...main monitor," Brains stammered as he wasn't sure he would be able to describe what he saw.
Everyone turned their attention to the sickrooms main monitor screen as it lit up showing a false colour magnified image of a section of John's blood stream. There floating over the magnified images of blood cells was something's that were well and truly bizarre and definitely did not look like they belonged inside the human body.
The main body of the objects was a smoothed oval shape inlayed with an incredibly intricate looking pattern of electronic circuitry. Yet the rest of the main body seemed be organic. It was like a fusion of a living organism and a machine. Projected from the body of the objects were a number of small tendrils that seemed to end with tiny manipulative tools of somekind.
"What on earth are those," Scott said finding his voice.
"I'm not sure," Brains admitted. "But I b...b...believe that what were seeing is some form of n...n...nanotechnology."
"Nanotechnology," Virgil repeated shocked. "But that's practically impossible. No ones ever been able to develop a practical form of nanotechnology."
"Well it doesn't look like an impossibility anymore Virgil," John said. "And these things are inside me? Floating around in my blood?" Brains nodded.
"T...T...There not just in your blood John," Brains said manipulating his controls. "This is an image of one of cells in your body that h...h...has be c...c...changed."
An image of a cell in John's body magnified thousands of times appeared on the big screen. And there inside the cell was one of the nano things. Yet it was slightly different to the ones that were floating around in John's blood. The main body was still an oval shape but slimmer and edging closer to being round like the cell it was in. There were many more tendrils coming from the central body, yet they seemed different somehow and they were interfacing with the rest of the cell.
John was stunned.
"My god," he breathed in shock. "So these nano things whatever they are, are what's causing my cells to change?"
"Yes," Brains said. "The p...p...process is still ongoing but the diagnostic scan shows that eighty-five percent of the cells in your body have now been c...c...changed. I estimate that the change will be c...c...complete within another two hours."
"So what are these things doing to me," John asked. That after all was the question that he really wanted answered. They now knew why his cells were changing and what was doing it but what exactly were these nano machines doing to him.
"They s...s...seem to be enhancing the p...p...performance of every system in your somehow."
"To what end," John asked stunned.
"I don't know," Brains replied. "Your g...g...guess is as good as mine."
"Maybe Alan will be able to provide the answer to that question," Jeff said thoughtfully. "He's using the computers on Thunderbird Five to sneak into the US governments computer network."
"That will be easy enough for him," John replied grinning. "The firewalls and guard programs the US government use are good but no match for our systems. And the beauty of it is they won't even know we've been there." Everyone in the room grinned at that.
Before anyone else could reply a bleeping came from the intercom unit indicating that a message was coming in from Thunderbird Five. In unison Jeff, Scott, Virgil, Gordon and Brains left the sickroom. John hopped off the diagnostic bed and followed with Tin-Tin coming along behind him.
They reached the main living room just as Jeff answered the hail from Thunderbird Five.
"Go ahead Alan," John heard his dad saying as Alan's portrait on the wall disappeared replaced by a real time image of Alan himself backdropped by Thunderbird Five's control room.
"Dad I've got the information you wanted," Alan said immediately.
Thunderbird Five
A Few Moments Earlier
Alan read through the information that the search program had retrieved from the US government's database about what exactly the government had been researching on that base in Nevada. There was a lot of information here about a variety of different projects. Naturally most were to do with weapons design and new defence systems. Though one was a design for a sensor that according to Thunderbird Five's computer once put into production and use would be able to break even International Rescue's stealth technology. Alan would have to give that design to Brains as soon as possible so he could make adjustments or improvements to their stealth technology to counter the sensor. The sensor design might also be able to improved upon by Brains for use on the Thunderbirds as the information indicated that it had some really impressive capabilities.
Alan only found one project that could be doing anything to John. And he could barely believed what it was. Somehow some genius working for the United States government had after almost three decades of work developed a practical form of nanotechnology called nanites. The engineer in Alan was very impressed with the accomplishment even though he was disgusted at some of the things the government was considering using their new technology for. Thankfully they wouldn't really be able to do anything with it for awhile. According to the last entry in the database the destruction of the base had meant valuable research data had been lost, data that would take at least a decade to recover. The surviving nanites - the ones rescued by the researcher - had been designed for one purpose. And reading over the information Alan was willing to be it was those nanites that were what was causing John to change.
Alan manipulated his controls and hailed Tracy Island. After a moments waiting his father's face appeared on the communications screen.
"Go ahead Alan," Jeff Tracy said.
"Dad I've got the information you wanted," he replied. "I think I know what is happening to John though it's pretty hard to believe."
"We've found out a few things ourselves," Jeff answered and explained what the bio-scan had revealed. "But we have no idea what these nano machines..."
"Nanites," Alan interrupted. "They are called nanites dad."
"Oh!" Jeff replied. "But as I was saying we have no idea what these nanites are doing to John. We know some are merging with his cells somehow but for what purpose we do not know."
"I think I can answer that question," Alan answered. "I've had a look over the information. There is a lot of it and most goes way over my head but I understand enough to be able to tell you."
"Go on," Jeff prompted.
"Basically dad the nanites that are in John as designed to transform a normal human into a superhuman by enhancing the bodies capabilities dramatically. Sensory perception, strength, speed, reflexes, agility all become enhanced. To what degree is not said."
"Wow," Alan heard Scott's voice say from off screen.
"But there are drawbacks," Alan added.
"Such as," Jeff prompted.
"Increase nutritional needs. The nanites are biomechanical their organic component requires food to survive just like any living thing. And the machine part is powered by that part of the nanite. Basically dad John's going to have to eat more than normal to cope with the energy demand or eat more high-energy foods. Otherwise it could result in nanites starting to shut down and that would be a very bad thing."
"How so," Jeff asked.
"Another drawback of the nanites is that once they're a part of a person they can't be removed," Alan answered. "The team at the research base were trying to solve that thorny little problem but weren't getting anywhere. Basically once the nanites are part of the human body as they're becoming with John then the body becomes completely dependent on them for continued function. Any attempt to remove them could lead to what the information terms total systemic collapse." Alan flinched slightly as he said that. Total systemic collapse was just another way of saying that if the nanites were removed from John's body it would kill him.
For a couple of moments there was silence over the communications link with the island. Alan could tell from the look on his fathers face that he knew what they information meant by total systemic collapse as well.
"I see," Jeff said at last. "Send the information down here so Brains can have a look at it."
"F.A.B dad," Alan replied. "And dad there is something else that I found. But its not related to the nanites but it's a real threat to us."
"Go on," Jeff answered catching the seriousness immediately.
"Dad the US government has come up with a prototype sensor system. A sensor that from the quick analysis I did up here will see through our stealth technology like its not even there. Once these sensors are put into production in a month they'll be able to track us wherever we go. I've got the design specs here."
"Send it down here with the nanite information," Jeff instructed.
"F.A.B," Alan replied flipping some of his controls. "I'm sending the data to the computer in Brains lab now."
"F.A.B Alan."
Tracy Island
John sat back on one of the couches in the living room area his mind awhirl as he tried to fully process what Alan had said the nanites were doing to him. The nanites were changing him into somekind of superhuman. It was hard to believe yet it was better than turning into a monster which is what he'd feared and it certainly explained a few things.
Like how he'd heard what dad and Virgil were saying this morning when he should not have been able to, it was the enhancements in his hearing starting to come into play. The thing with the jam jar lid had been the first sign of his increasing strength and the thing on the beach when he had seen Scott as if he was standing next to him.
John frowned when he heard Alan speaking about the sensor that had been developed by the US government. A sensor capable of penetrating the stealth technology they used to prevent someone tracking the Thunderbirds back here to Tracy Island. And John was willing to be that wasn't a coincidence that the sensor could do that. He was willing to lay odds that it had been designed with penetration of their stealth technology in mind. Certain parts of the US government and military had made no secret that they believed that the Thunderbirds should belong in their hands. Never mind that they would use the technology to destroy life not save it.
"Data transfer complete dad," Alan's voice said.
"F.A.B Alan," Jeff replied.
"That new sensor has some pretty impressive capabilities dad other than penetrating our stealth systems," Alan said. "With a few improvements and modifications we could integrate it with our own systems."
"I'll look at it," Brains replied intrigued he would have to analyse the sensor design anyway to make adjustments to there stealth technology or redesign it completely at any rate.
"Is there anything else Alan," Jeff asked. Alan shook his head.
"That's all I have dad," Alan replied. "Do you want me to get back into the database and see if I can get some more information?"
"No the information you've found is enough Alan. Well done." Alan smiled at the word of praise from his father. One didn't get praise out of Jeff Tracy very often so when it happened it was something to treasure.
"I better get back to work," Alan said at last. Jeff nodded and Alan broke the connection from his end. His face disappeared and the portrait reappeared instead.
Jeff turned to look over at John who still had a thoughtful look on his face, obviously still taking all this in.
"Are you alright with this John," he asked concerned.
"To be honest dad I'm not sure," John admitted. "But I guess I've got no choice but to learn to live with it. Who knows I might even come to like it." He sighed and stood up. "But that's for the feature right now I just need to go for a walk to clear my head."
Jeff nodded and John started to leave the room when a wave of dizziness accompanied by a wave of exhaustion rippled through his head. John stumbled and was quickly caught by Virgil otherwise he would have fallen.
"John are you alright," Scott asked.
"I don't know," John replied. "All of a sudden I felt really dizzy and really tired. Whoa." Another wave of exhaustion and dizziness rippled through his head and he leaned against Virgil to avoid falling.
"You haven't eaten properly today," Scott said thoughtfully. "None of us have. And Alan did say you'd have to eat more because of the things inside you. Maybe that's what's causing this."
"A l...l...logical conclusion Scott," Brains agreed.
"Well that settles it you're going to eat John before you go anywhere," Jeff said. "Kyrano."
"Yes Mr Tracy," Kyrano said appearing immediately from the corner where he had been quietly listening to what was going on. "I will go and get Mr John some food." Jeff nodded and Kyrano left.
Meanwhile Virgil helped John over to the couch where John sat down fighting against the sudden urge to go to sleep. He hoped that Kyrano got back soon with some food because he suspected that Scott was right. He needed to eat something now. Because if he didn't he did not want to think of what could happen.


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Today we are welcoming Steve Bein who is here to talk about how to write historical fiction. His novel, DAUGHTER OF THE SWORD, The Fated Blades #1 (published on October 2, 2012 from Roc Trade), blends modern and historical time periods to tell the story of a Japaneses detective and her involvement with three legendary swords. In her review, Abigail described it as a, "a gritty and compelling police procedural…the writing is lush and evocative, and the characters are broken and heroic in turn." Check out the widget below to win your own copy of DAUGHTER OF THE SWORD.
How to write historical fiction without being a history major
Steve Bein
I always considered myself an indifferent student of history. It's ironic, then, that I should find myself writing historical fiction.
When I was a student, memorizing a bunch of names and dates wasn't really my thing, mostly because I couldn't see why they were important. Finding the whys of things led me to be a philosophy major instead, and it was probably a decade after I took my last history class that I understood that history and philosophy are in the same business: the business of making arguments. Now that I get it, I like history, and I like to joke that the difference between historians and philosophers is that philosophers are unburdened by data.
They say you're supposed to write what you know. I think that's good advice, but it doesn't leave much room for the kind of fiction I'm interested in. I can't help it: I think samurai are cool. But nobody knows what it was like to be a samurai. Sure, we've got lots of records about medieval life, and more books on the subject than you could ever read in a lifetime, but what the historian needs to know about a period is so much different than what the writer needs to know. The writer has to be able to put readers in that world, and to know exactly how characters feel about their world. The historian only has to make an argument; the writer has to transport the reader to another reality.
It's the details that make characters come alive, that transform settings into inhabitable places full of sound and scent and color. When you're writing historical fiction, you've got to become an amateur historian in order to collect the details. And there lies the problem for someone like me, someone who enjoys history but isn't reckoned an expert. I have to find ways to cheat.
I never would have guessed how important art history books would be. Anything that can give you insight into material culture is invaluable. I felt I needed to know what a samurai's kimono looked like, what his sandals must have felt like, what else he'd put on when it got cold or rainy. So I went to museums and galleries to see those things on display. When I couldn't do that, I found the right books in art and art history, and on top of those, I'm really fortunate that a lot of directors have taken great care in getting the details right in their samurai movies.
Wait. I'm not fortunate because of that. Those movies were a big reason why I set my stories in Japan in the first place. Daughter of the Sword is full of allusions to classics like Lone Wolf and Cub and Zatoichi: The Blind Swordsman. It was visiting a Japanese castle at night, and trying to climb the wall, that made me want to write a ninja story like Only a Shadow in the first place. (Sorry, security guards! I really did climb the walls of Hiroshima Castle. Now that I've confessed to it, I find myself hoping there's a statute of limitations on that.)
So I guess my advice for writing historical fiction is to love your story so much that you're happy to obsess over it. Visit historical recreations if you can find them. Read a whole hell of a lot. Watch the right movies, visit the right exhibitions, talk to the right people, practice the right kinds of Google-fu. Immerse yourself in the books, the images, the language, the culture, even the cuisine. Love your story enough to enjoy the research—to treat it like play. Once you're having fun with it, the research is easy.
Steve Bein
Steve was born in Oak Park, Illinois, a near west suburb of Chicago. His first career as a perpetual student took him to universities in Illinois, Germany, Japan, and Hawai'i. That all culminated in a PhD in philosophy from the University of Hawai'i at Mānoa. Today Steve is a visiting professor of Asian philosophy and Asian history at the State University of New York at Geneseo, where he also teaches courses in philosophy and science fiction.
Giveaway provided by Roc Trade
One copy of DAUGHTER OF THE SWORD by Steve Bein
Available on October 2, 2012 from Roc Trade
Mariko Oshiro is not your average Tokyo cop. As the only female detective in the city's most elite police unit, she has to fight for every ounce of respect, especially from her new boss. While she wants to track down a rumored cocaine shipment, he gives her the least promising case possible. But the case—the attempted theft of an old samurai sword—proves more dangerous than anyone on the force could have imagined.
The owner of the sword, Professor Yasuo Yamada, says it was crafted by the legendary Master Inazuma, a sword smith whose blades are rumored to have magical qualities. The man trying to steal it already owns another Inazuma—one whose deadly power eventually comes to control all who wield it. Or so says Yamada, and though he has studied swords and swordsmanship all his life, Mariko isn't convinced.
But Mariko's skepticism hardly matters. Her investigation has put her on a collision course with a curse centuries old and as bloodthirsty as ever. She is only the latest in a long line of warriors and soldiers to confront this power, and even the sword she learns to wield could turn against her.
Enter the giveaway via the widget below US only
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About the author
- Early Review: Incarnate (Spellmason Chronicles #3) by Anton StroutSeptember 29, 2014
- Review: Ghost Layer (Ghost Seer, #2) by Robin D. OwensSeptember 25, 2014
- Deadly Destinations: Gina Rosati & win AURACLEAugust 8, 2012
31 Responses to Guest Blog & Giveaway: Steve Bein & win DAUGHTER OF THE SWORD
I would want a gun that always finds its target type of magical weapon.
I actually own a katana with a black blade and I'm pretty comfortable with it so if I could just get it infused with magic I'd stick with that. ^.^
Thanks for a very interesting post and congrats on the new release! I've got major book lust for this title!!! Ummm… maybe a sword that turns into a shield and can cut through anything and always comes back to me
hmm well im not much of a fighter so maybe something to make me invisible
I think I'll go with a magical katana and here's why:
I'm a huge fan of Japan and Japanese lore (especially being a student of karate for many years now) and of katana. I would love to read this book!
I'd choose something a wee bit smaller than sword, perhaps a dagger?
I have no clue. Does it have to be a weapon? Maybe a bow and arrow then?
I'd prefer some defensive that was magical like an impenetrable shield.
Of course I meant "something"
I guess I would pick a magical sword that helped me look like I knew how to use it.
A bow and magical arrows that never run out.
I would want a magical sword that would appear when I needed it and disappear when I didn't – that or a magical robe of invisibility – so I could disappear if things got too rough for me:) Thanks for the giveaway!
Definitely a magical Katana
A sword for sure. Because let's face it, swords are cool. But the magic would have to help me fight because otherwise I would probably hurt myself more than anyone else.
A magical sword. Thanks for the chance to win!
Hmmm…. I am a huge fan of Indiana Jones…. I'm thinking it would be cool to have a magical whip……
I would totally have way too much fun with a magical ax!
A magical bow and arrow
I'd want a magical sword that would slice through anything, including armor.
I would waNnt a un that always has the right kind of ammo for what you're shooting at
A bow and arrow like the one that Susan has in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
A magical bow and arrow with a shield.
I would want a spirit fighter. Like a spirit would could give me powers when summoned and be an extra pair of eyes while in fighting!
I love sword fights in books and movies but since I know I would not be good with it I would choose a bow & arrow.
Depends on the fight…
But I'm going to go for Dragon!
Hmmm…what magical weapon? Well, I don't know how to use a sword or bow. I don't particularly like guns, unless it's magic power was always hitting the right target in the right spot so if I can't have my first choice I'd go with that.
I'd prefer to go with a invisibility cloak so I can get up close and use a dagger or fists. Fighting hand to hand is something I at least know how to do. The cloak would be far more useful anyways.
There are lots of good answers already. I'd have to go with a magical sword as well. Always rely on the classics. : ) Thanks for the giveaway! I've heard great things about this book.
I'd like two…scimitars preferable.
A bow of obsidian and arrows of the deepedt amethyst that neither break nor run out.
A magical sword that returns to me no matter where it is. This book sounds awesome! Thanks for the author guest post (always enjoy knowing more about authors and their work) and for the great giveaway!
I think a bull whip would could come in handy. Thank you for the giveaway!

subset: commoncrawl


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text: A Lion's Mane Jellyfish (Dan Kitwood, Getty Images) [ New Jersey Swimmers Warned About Jellyfish [POLL/AUDIO] By David Matthau July 8, 2013 | Townsquare New Jersey If you go swimming in the ocean or a back in New Jersey this summer, watch out for jellyfish. Read More|Comment Category: New Jersey News, News, Sandy Tags: Barnegat Bay, NJ, Sandy Send to a friend! Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Pin it! Reddit This! Share on Tumblr!


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Take a free fencing lesson
We really need to think of new bar-side conversation starters since Paul the Octopus has put away his proverbial crystal ball. He endured fascination, praise, and even death threats from around the globe during his successful (eight times!) and controversial tenure of World Cup psychic.
Several states with tight control on liquor sales, such as Virginia, Vermont, and Mississippi, are considering a change in legislation that would privatize the distribution of alcohol, either by auctioning licenses to private companies or selling distribution centers. [Wall Street Journal] ... More >>
Get psyched for winter
Chicago has dodged a bullet, being eliminated in the first round from 2016 Olympics consideration. (Tokyo is also out; Madrid and Rio de Janeiro remain in the running.) The Times says not to worry -- sometimes a loss is almost as good as a win. How so? Jay Kriegel, director of the New York's ... More >>
Ping-pong is no joke at this tournament
Can you spot the next Phelps?
Useless things that make Mexicans great
From Hilary Duff to Hoosiers
Authors fight for freedom of expression in China
Lingering anger over the defeat of Mayor Bloomberg's dream of building a colossal stadium on the West Side to host the Jets and the 2012 Olympics is now complicating efforts to forge labor solidarity on behalf of the striking transit workers. Bloomberg's push to build the billion-dollar edifice alo ... More >>
Urban sports for low-energy athletes
Produce merchants get the boot for a City Hall favorite and yet another Olympic stadium
Athletes in the flesh raise ire of press and temperature of fetishists
The Hockey Season's Best Bouts
Venus and Serena Battle Charges of Arrogance and the Myth of the Superbred Black Athlete
Vancouver Smackdown
The 2000 Olympics Start Next Week. Pumped Up?
The Specialization of Womens Bodies for Specific Sports
The Women's World Cup Enters The Elimination Round


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Posts by DutchOven
105 posts • joined 19 Dec 2007
Remembering the true* first portable computer
Portable computer?
...I've never seen anyone take one of these out of their breifcase on the train.
Pirate Party wins seat in European Parliament
Am I missing something?
The BNP are big fans of "Celts, Anglo-Saxons, Danes, Norse and closely related kindred peoples". (They didn't mention picts, though did they?)
...but let's get this straight. If you violently invade a country and hang around for 1000 or more years then the BNP think you're a "nice" foreigner. If on the other hand, you have something positive to give to society but your parents were invited here 40 years ago, they want you out?
...and the fact that we all started out in Africa and share the majority of genes with every other human being on the planet counts as nothing. We are all humans, regardless of everything else. Race, colour, creed, parentage, religion, the place you happen to have been born; they're all artificial subdivisions. It's idiots like the BNP that make me ashamed to be British - they actually make me feel like leaving these islands - and I will if they ever manage to gain any serious power.
I wonder how the BNP stand on emmigration? I mean they're a little bit down on foreigners coming here, do they feel just as strongly on behalf of foreign nations when British workers go overseas? I doubt it very much (which speaks volumes about double-standards and nimbyism, doesn't it?)
Microsoft sues John Does for bilking search bribery machine
So another security hole for Microsoft but this time it hurts only them.
What are the bets that this one is closed in record time?
Phorm woos browsers with personalised web
Good thing?
"Ertugrul said Phorm's seven years so far without revenues was "actually a good thing" because of the complexity of its products."
No, it's a good thing because eventually those people who hold the purse strings will say "fuck off" - which is pretty much what anyone who knows about Phorm is telling them anyway.
DARPA killer AI robots to 'participate in own construction'
Please, please, please
...can some Eastern European hackers get access to this and get it to redesign itself so that it says "Hasta La Vista" and travels back from a post-apocalyptic future...
In fact, no, please don't. Destroy it now before it destroys us!
Her Maj honours NZ wizard
If he was a real wizard then he would have cast a spell on her majesty that would have planted the idea of giving him a several million dollar "donation" instead of just a wimpy little medal...
'Cloned' CGI faces mimic people 'better than skilled actors'
Oh really?
"Many of these effects would otherwise be impossible to achieve, even using highly-skilled actors."
Is this really saying that actors can't impersonate another person and adopt their manerisms?
Or are they merely saying that it's impossible to make someone look like someone else using the current CGI and make up?
Although I am not an expert, I have watched TV before and seen both of these things done... sometimes even both at once.
Shocked. Shocked I was. I thought it must have been witchcraft and now that I know that it's "impossible" using current technology, I know it must have been.
I'm going to go and get myself de-hexed, just in case.
Critical Windows vulnerability under attack, Microsoft warns
RE: damned if they do, damned if they don't = asper (yawn)
DT wrote: "Linux might be fine for surfing tinternet, hosting websites and doing all manner of techy things that get you guys wet, but frankly it's niche. Computers are for running software and last time I checked gloating isn't a "killer app" , but an effective way of putting people off your little club."
...and what do the majority of users do with their computers. Oh, wait. It's number one on your list "surfing tinternet". They might also need a copy of Open Office, just in case. Apart from that, they're good to go. It no longer takes a PhD in Computer Science to understand Linux, my friend installed in instead of WIndows on his PC and he's a computer amatuer. So far he has asked me for advice a total of zero times...
Hacks and IT workers boozing themselves silly
Real Estate?
"WTF is real estate, eh?"
Obviously it's the opposite of "pretend estate".
Getting my coat (but only after consuming another 23462 units, natch - someone has to raise the IT average!)
Twitter suffering chronic banality, diagnoses Dr House
Sums twitter up really
"microblogging Web 0.2 phenomenon Twitter"
Obviously, I understand this may be a typo. If so then it's Freudian in nature...
Governator revives anti-violent video game crusade
WHen he lost the first time...
.... did he tell the judge "eye'll be beck"?
Wolfram Alpha - a new kind of Fail
"This guy either got too many wedgies or not enough wedgies as a child."
He's not had enough of them as an adult if he thinks anyone is interested in this POS.
After seeing articles about it all over the interwebs, I decided to give it a spin last week.
I promised myself that I'd use it for an entire day. I did - I rarely got back any results though and the ones I did get back were usually not relevant at all. (Isn't it just as well that I had another window open for an oompa-loompa search, just in case?)
If I was this guy, I'd give myself a B for publicity and an F for product usefulness.
...and no, he's never going to make any money from this guff, is he?
Worldwide GPS may die in 2010, say US gov
RE: Only bad for city dwellers
AC wrote: "...the remaining satellites will work most of the time perfectly - until you enter New York and need a bunch of satellites in a very constrained field of view - then you may feel the lack of extra satellites."
You mean the exact sort of place where:
- maps are easily available (maybe even on your phone?)
- there are likely to be street signs
- you can ask for directions
I don't have any devices that use GPS so maybe that's why I am one of the few who can still get from A to B without one. (In ten years maybe that will be an impressive party trick or something!)
Hacker claims whaling expedition harpooned Steve Jobs
Hardly news
If it's true then the story "Man falls for phishing attack" isn't news.
If it's fake then the story "Kiddie knocks up fakes in photoshop" isn't news.
...and let's face it, on the evidence, it looks as fake as fake can be.
UK.gov international net clean-up plan gathers dust
Oh really?
Did he really say it had been created "as a place that governments couldn't reach."
...and who created it? Wasn't it the US government? Does he know anything about the internet?
I suspect that what he really objects to is free speech. This is Nu-Stazi, sorry Nu-Labour after all. They think they've got a right to monitor and control everything.
I can only echo the sentiment above - the sooner this lot of computer illiterates die off, the better.
Google blames cheeseburgers for destroying the planet
If only I could get these cheeseburgers to stop using google every time my back was turned they wouldn't be slowly cooking themselves via global warming.
Cops collar Russian punting dog dressed as lamb
Dogs danglies
I have not got any personal experience in this subject but someone once told me that corned beef sells rather more than expected in Korea.
The reason being that a couple of scooped teaspoons of corned beef can be used as substitute for dogs bollocks in certain delicacies. The taste and texture are apparently very similar once cooked.
Nothing to do with sheep. Sorry.
Google's email goes titsup (again)
I use Gmail all the time and despite all these stories about outages, I've never had any problems. Ever.
(Is gmail the same platform as googlemail? If not then that could explain it)
English vocab poised to hit 1m words
I'd just like to say
...have they not got anything better to do with their time?
What a bunch of arsecandles.
It's doubly as bad when (after reading a bit more) I realised that the 1,000,000 mark was passed in 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009.
So not only are they doing something which is of extremely limited usefulness, they're also incredibly inept at counting...
I was always under the impression that by using one of those new-fangled computer thingys, they could: count the words, make sure there were no duplicates, have a definitive answer and still be home in time for tea. I was obviously wrong (or grossly underestimating user stupidity)
Paris because even she can count (and her life isn't being wasted quite as pointlessly)
Vatican damns Angels and Demons as 'quite harmless'
I'd like to see the Vatican make a film of *their* book.
I wouldn't watch it but I've no doubt it would be pretty tedious.
...a bit like the Da Vinci Code.
Errr, that can't be right, can it?
Personally, I find the idea that a Cardinal could be a murderer a little easier to swallow than the one about the guy who is hiw own father, brings his friend back from the dead, walks on water and then comes back from the dead himself.
Yes! It's the invisible¹ shed²!
One major drawback
Who needs a shed a few thousands of a millimeter across?
It's so small it's invisible anyway.
Meet Phorm's PR genius
RE: Petard hoisted
You don't have to actively campaign against something to report accurately, now do you?
El Reg doesn't froth at the mouth like the Daily Fail about Garry Glitter's terrible record in child-minding because they don't need to, everyone knows about it already. Here we have a lot of people who know about IT and IT security and privacy issues and they tell it how it is... which is a very good thing because if you fail to understand the issues involved then you're not going to be able to make an informed opinion!
Actually, now that I think about it the only thing Phorm could now do that would damage them more is to hire Gary Glitter as PR spokesman...
Paris, 'cos she knows about web privacy and isn't daft enough to hire Patrick Robertson either...
Self-replicating machine replicates
I thought I heard it speak...
...and it said "John Connor?", with a dodgy Austrian accent.
Darling supports broadband by raiding Granny's digital fund
RE: Not so "New" Labour
Raymond Cranfill wrote: "For a country that gave the world the Industrial Revolution, the steam engine, the transAtlantic cable, Adam Smith and the like, it's truly sad to see the state of broadband in Merry Olde England."
Except Adam Smith didn't come from "Merry Olde England", did he? He came from Scotland, as any fule kno
...and as Wikipedia (rightly) says: "The history of the steam engine stretches back as far as the first century AD; the first recorded rudimentary steam engine being the aeolipile described by Hero of Alexandria". Once again, nothing to do with "Merry Olde England"!
Besides, I don't think this budget affects only England. Last I looked it was the UK Chancellor who made the UK budget and that includes Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland as well.
Google splits with Mozilla on 3D interwebs
It *is* actually useful
I did my dissertation on this and I can tell you that 3D webpages have actually got useful applications in real life.
Someone else has already noted usefulness of looking for relationships between web-sites, which may be why google is looking into it.
It's useful in many other things too. A graphical representation tells 1000 words as they say. If you need to find other news stories which are related to the one you're reading, for example. The length of the lines connecting the nodes or the size of the nodes can be varied to indicate the relevance. Mouse over can reveal what the headline was, click to visit...
Or family trees, zoom around in 3D and click on a member of the family to view their picture.
Of course, that's just two applications (and both quite similar) the list really is endless. Google maps anyone....?
Flying-rifle robocopter: Hovering sniper backup for US troops
I'm sure this will come in handy....
...next time they fabricate an excuse to invade a 3rd world country.
They can hover over the citizens, showing their ARSS to everyone
JG Ballard — 1930-2009
Sadly missed
I always enjoyed his short stories.
Alas he stopped writing them because no-one buys magazines which feature short stories any more.
...and now he can never write any more.
A truly sad day.
Microsoft ends mainstream XP, Office 2003 support
Missing the main point entirely
"Non-security critical fixes will be available to those punters who signed up to Microsoft's Extended Hotfix Support program 90 days before mainstream support was killed off."
Notice that they're effectively saying "8 years wasn't enough to close all the security holes".
Whatever makes them think that I'll be upgrading to any of their new OSs when after many long years of development and 8 years of actual use they still can't close them?
Windows 7 isn't going to be any better. You can tell yourself whatever you like.
...and the poster who asked if Win7 is likely to run in 512Mb of memory. I've seen unix systems that came on floppy disks and used less than 512Kb (not Mb, Kb) of memory, by the time I had WIMP going, it was still less than 512Mb BY A LONG WAY! What does an operating system need more than 512Mb of memory for? Can anyone answer that? The Amiga had a reasonable OS going in about 100k of memory (usually much less) same with the Archimedes etc
If I was MS, I would concentrate on taking XP and
a) making the damn thing a lot more secure
b) removing bloat.
Strangely, I suspect that merely doing b) would help towards a)...
I suspect that once XP support and security updates have gone the way of the dinosaur then many people will be switching to a friendly flavour of Linux...
Open-source iPhone plan to control your home
Am I missing something here?
I was able to control every IR device in my house the day that I bought my first iPaq. That was 2003. The software came with the device...
Paris, just because.
Smear site leads back to Commons
RE: A complaint has been lodged
"If there is no response and the details are not corrected, then the domain name will be suspended in approximately 30 days and cancellation will follow 30 days after that."
Because for obvious reasons, they didn't check the credit card details that were used to pay for the hosting and/or domain name in the first place?
If it was up to me, I would charge the credit card several thousand pounds "administration charge" for shutting down the site. That way someone would have to come forward and complain... (or that person would at least get kicked in the knackers by their uber-meisters!)
Microsoft's online Office variant preps for business
"Microsoft's biggest problem when it comes to shipping new versions of Office is getting the existing install base to upgrade."
Yeah but their biggest problem with everything is security.
Frankly I wouldn't trust them to push shit down a pipe, never mind do things to my trusted data.
If their previous security record is anything to go by then adding a table to a word document (for example) will allow Eastern European Botmasters to install their horrible software on my machine...and anyone who uses Excel to keep track of their home finances will probably end up revealing their financial secrets to half the world.
I'd rather put my 'nads in a mincer than let them handle my data.
Hair-stripping fungus threatens future of judo and sumo
If Karate-do, loosely translated means "Way of the empty hand".
What is Japanese for "Way of the empty hair-follicle"?
Microsoft: have it your way on IE 8
Do they still release it for Mac? No.
Do they still have a version for WinNT on Sun. Oh silly me.
The only platform that it exists on is Winblows. Most of the users seem to be the ones who are too stupid to look for a better browser. Microsoft might save a lot of money if they just gave up and directed people to a page with links to 3rd party browsers like Chrome, FireFox, Opera etc
Which is pretty much what you get if you try to download their WMV stuff for OSX these days.
Russian schoolgirl invents inertioid-driven Venus rover
Where do I begin?
First off - if two things rotate in opposite directions then as well all know, there is no movement contraray to the direction of the axis of rotation. We only have to look at those personal helicopters to know that.
As for this whole "Indigo" thing. Mwa ha ha. Pull the other one! That alone would be enough for any sensible person to dismiss this entire story as complete bullshit.
Isolated Aussies left really isolated
I thought they could have fallen back on their fail safe system - the bush telegraph.
BMW opens up to haptic car doors
Nice idea
I'd like to know what will happen if the cars batteries run down. Will you be able to open the doors at all? If not then it's a massive fail.
I think a far more useful device would be one that used the dying remnants of battery life to send some kind of message to the owner (a light on the key could flash or something)
Obviously, this is going to be great news for cyclists. Or it would be except for one glaring problem - people will get used to not having to look out for danger and then when they buy a car that isn't a BMW, they will end up whacking cyclists with it every time they get out (or simply losing the door to a passing bus..!)
ps. How many thousand does this add to the cost of a car?
Apple iTunes unwraps (precious few) 69 cent tracks
El Reg
I liked your top-ten listing. It's really going to help me.
Those are now the "ten tracks most unlikely to be downloaded by DutchOven".
Can you do another one next week, just so I'm safe from the over-produced, manufactured swill that seems to pass for chart music.
MS pushes back Forefront security offensive
Shurely shome mishtake?
"The security giant expects to ship a second beta of Stirling and a release candidate prior to the final release."
Isn't this Microsoft we're talking about here? I assume that "security giant" is a new technical term for "incompetent buffoon"?
When has Microsoft ever release a product without any security flaws? DOS (maybe, not sure) but everything since then has been so full of holes that Swiss cheese makers have used their software for inspiration.
Paris because when her "security" hole was penetrated, details were only uploaded to the internet once.
Wolverine leak claims first victim?
Imortant Info missing from article
Is the movie any good? Was his review a favourable one?
My guess is that the answer to both those questions is a resounding "No" and that this is all a big publicity stunt.
I secretly suspect that this is another special effects movie and that the plot (if there is one) is going to be pretty bad. Of course, the plot isn't going to change just because some special effects are not yet in place.... so the review could be very accurate. Maybe a little too accurate!
Boffins invent automatic net-hookup roboffinry machines
I for one welcome our machine overlords with open arms
Assuming of course that they decide the best way to bring progress and harmony to earth is to wipe out the unproductive masses, starting some kind of "machine war". Obviously, this will all lead up to the "great re-alignment" - the day when we all have our brains replaced by little chrome plated boxes.
How gov scapegoats systems for man-made errors
It *IS* a system error!
"Our instant reaction was that this was unlikely; most system errors usually turn out to have a very human origin."
Forgive me if I am wrong here but last I looked, Skynet had not yet taken over and humans were still a required part of most IT systems.
So, if a human is part of the system and makes an error then that's still a system error...!
It's still no excuse for blaming the code! They should have put the blame squarely on laziness, sloppiness, lack of training, the user being addicted to crack, user being distracted by their itchy arse or whatever the real reason for the problem was...!
Twitter users hit by smut spam hack attack
You guys at the register missed the obvious title: "Twits invited to view Twats"
Vatican vetos 'dot god' domain
Obvious solution
Prosecute companies for inapropriate use of a gTLD.
For example, if a companys main line of business is to sells things then it MUST be a .com
If a company doesn't sell things then it CAN'T be a .com
That way, until MS become in some way Cornish or important to Cornish culture, microsoft.ker would be illegal.
Sheeple might also be tempted to infer from the gTLD that things like microsoft.xxx are not genuine sites...
As for .god! The day the big man reaches his hand through the sky and posts his request to ICANN, I'll eat my hat. Until that day that happens, no religious group can credibly claim that the domain would be going to the right bunch of loonies...
NZ unleashes sonic Manilow weapon
Why bother with Manilow - he's been knocked from his perch.
James Blunt is now the insipid choice of the elderly (but horny) pensioner.
Where's the Paris Hilton angle on this story? Maybe they should play her songs too - they are obviously not very popular with the yoof... unlike her videos.
Barclays heralds new wave of wallet-waving
"More concerning is the ability of the banks to collect usage information about all those cash transactions; they'll know where you drink coffee, what paper you read and how much you spend on cigarettes."
Well, they can already tell which shops I have spent money in. The information is on my credit card statement too.
...but unless I start using one of the new cards for every transaction, what you've said isn't gonig to be true.
It would require *every* retailer in the country to switch over to the new system. Until this happens, intelligent people are going to carry that old-fangled cash around in their pocket.
In fact, the switch away from cash doesn't seem likely to happen at all - unless things have changed since the times they introduced cheques and credit cards. IIRC these were both widely tipped to leave cash as an historical curiosity (but as we know, it didn't happen!)
Google boss backs subsidized Linuxbooks
RE: And just what will be the price?
AC wrote: "Subsidizing the hardware is no different to Microsoft offering massive software discounts to OEMs."
Except that it is fundamentally different.
You're not going to be paying (anything at all) for the OS. You're also getting discounted hardware.
MS have a different model, you pay for the OS. It might be cheaper than normal retail when included with a new PC but you *do* pay. You don't get discounted hardware as part of the deal either!
...and let's face it, that's a rubbish deal for anyone who is replacing an existing PC, who already has a licence for Windoze or who doesn't want Windoze in the first place.
Obama releases Dubya's secret anti-terror memos
Who is representing the average US citizen?
"First Amendment speech and press rights may also be subordinated to the overriding need to wage war successfully."
or "We don't really give a shit about the rights of our citizens as long as we can throw our weight around a bit and our military suppliers are getting plenty of dosh".
Isn't it ironic that disorganised terrorists who are trying to restrict the freedom of US citizens are up against, errr, organised terrorists who actually have the power to restrict the freedom of US citizens and who frequently do it?
Prime Minister's health records breached in database attack
RE: You left out the most interesting bits
"Oh come on and spill the beans.
What's Gordo taking?"
It's not just him it's Salmond too.
...and the answer is "too many greasy fry-ups and too many pies"
<-- is this the "hardened arteries" icon?
Yang spent $79m snuffing Microhoo!
RE: Cheap.
ask the banks.
Convicted Romanian hacker is hot commodity in Italy
What's he need a job for if he can just liberate cash straight from other people's accounts?
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text: glossylalia: nefariousnewt: numol: jadedfucker: lebeam: NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) – Police are looking for a 10-year-old boy from the Bronx who they say has been missing for almost two days. Police say 10-year-old Latrell Hall was last seen on Macombs Avenue as he left for school around 8:30 a.m. Monday and hasn't been home since. Hall is 4'5″ weighing about 60 pounds with brown eyes, black hair and a slim build. He was last seen wearing a gold ball earring in his right ear. Anyone with information on where Hall might be should call police or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-577-TIPS (8477) or visit www.nypdcrimestoppers.com. (via Police Looking For Latrell Hall, Missing 10-Year-Old From The Bronx « CBS New York) Like I mentioned before, if this were a young white girl there would be two million notes already. REBLOG THIS! He is our child. [image: photo of Latrell Hall, smiling and wearing a red graduation cap and gown. he has brown skin and a heart-shaped face. read above quote for rest of description of his appearance.] Signal boost!!! Get out the word, Bronx people!!! Get out the word, Manhattan!!! FIND THIS BOY!!! The first two links are to two unrelated stories, and the final link says that the child was found safe.


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Vickerman 5 ft. Black Fiber Optic Christmas TreeItem # HN-VKR1254
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The downside is if you want a 5 foot tree-order a 6 foot tree. Also, the stand included must be used because it is compatible with the large tree base. We were hoping to use a revolving stand-but can't. Lastly, a fair price for this tree in my estimation would be $150 top.
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People want choices. They want to control how much, and in what form. This has never been more evident than in the world of frozen yogurt.
Self-serve is the way to go, and in comes 16 Handles. The New York-based chain has opened its latest location in Plainview in the Morton Village Shopping Center, where Baskin Robbins once was. It's the latest entry in what's quickly becoming a crowded 'do it yourself' frozen yogurt market in town, joining , and .
16 Handles also has locations in Jericho and Port Washington, all owned by Scott Silverman. Patch sat down with his district manager, Jim Pousont, to talk about 16 Handles, where they've been, and where they're headed as they set up shop in Plainview.
Q. Tell us a bit about the 16 Handles chain and its local history?
A. It started in 2008. The inventor, Solomon Choi, grew up with Baskin Robbins. He loved the fact they always had a lot of variety, a lot of flavors, and that's where he got his vision for 16 Handles - always having 16 flavors that rotate to keep it fresh. Always have fresh fruit cut, and some decadent [toppings] for the kids. We have something for everybody: sugar free flavors, gluten-free flavors, sorbet if you're allergic to milk.
Q. How has business been so far?
A. A slow start but getting better every day. People are starting to realize we're here and we have a lot of coupons and marketing. Our 'grand opening' is on Sunday March 18, when we really invite the world to come check us out.
Q. Why was the decision made to open a location in Plainview?
A. It's a great area, and whenever you talk Plainview with people, Morton Village seems to be the one that everyone knows where it is. There is a lot of competition here, but if you have a great brand and a lot of product, hopefully you can be the one that outlasts.
Parking is a little tough but the reality is that brings people in. At least you know the shopping center's full.
Q. With all the other self-serve yogurt shops in town, how will 16 Handles differentiate itself to do just that?
A. The fresh cutting of fruit every day, the fact that we have over 50 toppings, there really is a choice and variety for everybody. It's a competitive edge for us.
Q. What is the future for this type of business? Where do you see 16 Handles headed?
A. Next for us are 'Whip-ups', like a blended version of your yogurt, spoonable, where you get all your flavors and toppings blended together. To be different we just didn't want to have smoothies, we wanted something unique to our brand.
We will have a 'limited time topping' offer starting in a month and a half. We have some flavors that are being reformulated and constructed just for 16 Handles. We actually hired a chef [to make the topping] that will be unique to our brand.


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Vegan Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins
Recipe Contest Entry By Kathy Blajerski, Castle Rock, CO
Decadent and moist muffins, perfect for the holidays.
1 banana, mashed
1 (15 oz) can of pumpkin puree
1/4 of 100% pure Maple syrup
1 tsp. of vanilla extract
2 cups of whole oat flour, or whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 tsp. of baking powder
1/2 tsp. of baking soda
1/2 tsp. of salt
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1 tsp. of ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. of ground ginger
1 cup of semi-sweet dairy free chocolate chips
1.Preheat oven to 375°F. In a large bowl, combine mashed banana, pump- kin puree, maple syrup, and vanilla extract.
2.In a small bowl, combine oat flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger. Transfer mixture to large bowl and mix together gently until well-combined. Avoid over-mixing to prevent toughness in the final product. Fold in chocolate chips.
3.Spoon batter into muffin cups and bake for 20 minutes or until the muffins are lightly browned. Remove muffins from the oven and let cool for 5 minutes. Store in an airtight container or enJOY right away : )
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Wednesday updatePosted on December 17th, 2008 – 4:41 PM
By Kent Youngblood
The Gophers returned to practice Wednesday after two days off. They will practice through Sunday, take a couple more days off, then meet in Phoenix Christmas night. That will give the Gophers five practices in Arizona prior to the bowl game.
A number of players are still limited because of nagging injuries, though coach Tim Brewster says the team will be 100 percent for the bowl game. Among those hobbled are Willie VanDeSteeg (ankle), Lee Campbell (ankle), Garrett Brown (ankle) and Dom Alford (ankle).
Wide receiver Eric Decker , who is coming off arthroscopic surgery for cartilage damage on his left knee, is moving well. He hasn't been in pads yet, but he was out on the field running some routes and doing some cutting this afternoon. He says he'll be OK for the bowl.
I'll be writing more about Decker as the insight bowl nears. But he reiterated his belief that he will be back with the Gophers next season. The fact that he has paid a heck of a physical price to play this season – rib injury, concussion, ankle and leg injuries, etc. – has not changed his mind.
It was good to see Sam Maresh today. He's been around the team watching practice for much of the season. But it was good to offer him congratulations in person for having been cleared to return to the game he loves playing. ''It's just an amazing story,'' Brewster said of the Maresh situation. ''What a blessing to us all.''
Meanwhile, highly-recruited athlete Bryant Allen, a 6-0, 160-pounder who could play receiver or running back, will announce his college choice tonight according to Rivals.com. Allen, from Maplewood, Mo., has offeres from the Gophers, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Missouri and Wisconsin, among others.
That's about it. Stay warm.
41 Responses to "Wednesday update"
Thanks Kent for the update. Great to read that Decker is moving well and that Maresh is back in the mix. I think things are looking up for the Gophs. That Iowa game stunk to high heaven and I hope that they play well against the JHawks.
I think the Gophers will come out ready to play against Kansas. The combination of the Bowl break, Davis, and new offensive schemes will get them focused and ready to play. I predict a win. They have to win so my 8 game prediction will come true. A win would give them some nice momentuem for next season.
I'm glad for Maresh and having a heart defect repaired myself, I thought Maresh wouldn't have any problems getting back on the football field.
I too am looking forward to watching the Gophers again against KU. But the key for gauging improvement between now and the KO to the the 09 season is the off season work and the Spring practices. How much the OL matures and the RS Frosh and incoming JUCO's can contribute is the key. And if Davis can help the OL be better players.
Not the KU game.
I'm glad that Brewster dediced to implement the new offense right away. It gives the players Bowl practices, Spring practices, and Fall practices to learn the new formations and schemes.
I'm looking forward to the Kansas game to see the changes in the offense. I thought we were too much in the spread before. You need to mix things up.
I'm really excited to see the new formations and hopefully new attitude from the line. I just hope they give me a reason to keep the excitement going in to next season.
An important ingredient Gold is that we need to execute all the things we mix up. Kinda like making cookies; a bag of talent here, a generous dose of experience there, sprinkle in a huge bag of luck, and top it all of by keeping the key players healthy. And then the oven has to be turned up to the proper temp to get a bunch of award winning cookies.
This kinda blended in with my evening of making Christmas cookies with Mrs Bayfield.
I think I need to get out of the kitchen and go snowmobiling tomorrow.
I hope we play as well as your wife makes cookies.
Good to hear Decker is planning on coming back for his senior year!! He deserves to be there when the new stadium opens!!! They need his presence and leadership on the field and need him for depth. With Spry and Thompson both leaving and Decker playing baseball this spring, there will be only FIVE scholorship receivers on the field for spring practice- 4 true freshman this year (Green, Smith, Brandon, McKnight) and Kuznia!! Gophers need to get some depth at that position! Next year, they wont be able to fill out a 3 deep!!! Let's go Brewster and recruit some receivers!!!
Hayo Carpenter a JC player should be here for Spring Practice. He had about 3000 yards recieving in his two years in JC.
GoGophers–that is the problem. We are too thin at all positions. That is why several strong recruiting seasons are crucial and so far so good in that area. You can get all the WR's you want but I am worried about the RB's and LB's. Weber goes down and we have freshmen backing him up. Who is kicking/punting?? Depth has always been are achilles heel. That is why I lose my patience with some of the posters here who want instant results.
FoxSportsNews—The other NFL Network bowl game is the Insight, in which Kansas — fresh from the exhilarating upset of Missouri — should whip a reeling Minnesota team that has lost stamina, resolve and identity.
This would make real good lockerroom material.
Time waits for no one tex. That is what I am trying to tell this brewster. He has thrown away opportunities to win Big Ten games that could have bought him some more time. EVERYBODY hates a LOSER though…EXCEPT these brewcrew apologists… 3-13 in Big Ten games is a loser's record. EVEN if they give this brewster five stinking seasons, he's not going to get it done at the rate he is going. Life is tough. Life is hard. Football coaches…Big Ten football coaches HAVE to win a LOT of Big Ten football games or they will be used up, chewed up, spit out and thrown on the scrap pile of "wanna be" Big Ten coaches who just couldn't get the job done.
2009 is CRUCIAL. This brewster wasted years…2007 and 2008 in which the overall schedule and the Big Ten schedule were incredibly favorable for Big Ten winsfor the University of Minnesota. This brewster is really headed into the eye of the storm now though. PSU and MSU have been added to the schedule and gone will be the worst Michigan team in decades and Indiana. NO excuses that you people come up with will help this brewster unless he wins at least five Big Ten games in 2009. He took the job when he took it. He only has his own misfortune to blame. He got the hand he was dealt. He could have just said "no." This prexy b and this maturi character are under the gun too. They NEED a LOT of Big Ten wins in 2009. But, the schedule is NOT their friend either.
This brewster needs to dump, ditch, shed this dunbar NOW. With less than 5 Big Ten wins in 2009 this brewster is going to really be starting to reach lame-duck status. How the heck could this maturi extend his contract IF he only gets 2 or 3 Big Ten wins????? He will be dead meat unless he gets extended at the end of the 2009 season. His only prayer is to get off his dead butt and bring in about 18 juco All-Americans in this recruiting class in February. IF he does that, he is certifiably crazy. This brewster is in pretty close to a no win situation now. IF this prexy b and maturi make the wrong moves, they will royally screw this football program up at a time they are just going into a new stadium…Maybe they can get the Federal Government to bail this brewster character out! I think he needs it…
Bayfield–I like your "recipe" but think you are missing a key ingredient—esprit de corps. This is an intangible that unless you are on the team, us armchair qb's probably can not gauge.
KTBH–I am not a BrewApologist, just a realistic supporter. At this juncture, I am more concerned about the trendline than the W/L columns. Trust me, Brewster and staff knows that 2009 is a crucial year. Why do you think they are humpin' it all over the country looking for players?? We know your position, dig up some new material, please.
Texas Gopher,
Put it on the booooard!!!!
I think you will see a vastly different team than the one that ended the season. Getting keys players healthy will definitely help them get back on track. I look forward to what I believe will be a very entertaining bowl game.
Bayfieldgopher, I agree with your contention that the real gauge for improvement will come in the off season workouts and spring practice. Can't wait for the first kick off in the new stadium!
Good luck Gophs!!
Texas Gopher,
Put it on the booooard!!!!
Refers to:
"FoxSportsNews—The other NFL Network bowl game is the Insight, in which Kansas — fresh from the exhilarating upset of Missouri — should whip a reeling Minnesota team that has lost stamina, resolve and identity."
Great locker room material.
I'm an extremely lucky man there Gold to have a partner like Mrs Bayfield. Plus her chocolate chip cookies are the best ever.
KTBH says, "His only prayer is to get off his dead butt"—do you hear how hypocritical that sounds?? I am guessing Brewster covers more ground in one day than you do in a month.
We all know that Decker can handle missing spring practice so the fact that his missing spring practice gives more reps to younger guys is going to be helpful to this team. We have an unusually large freshman receiving group (5) and a Juco transfer just learning the offense that are all badly in need of reps and one-on-one coaching. Green is probably going to start the spring as the #1 WR with Kuznia and Smith as the other two receivers. That will leave Carpenter McKnight, Brandon, and Stoudermire as the second team WR's which means that only one WR will be left out of the two deep. As we saw with the freshman this season, it is not an easy offense to grasp so this should give Carpenter a chance to acclimate himself to the offense and eventually work in to the first team.
I think the offensive line and the receivers are going to benefit the most from spring practice. WR's are the youngest position on the team and the line will be getting the biggest makeover with Tim Davis. MarQueis Gray should be a big beneficiary too because he will likely be running the second team O with Nance.
You have me a bit baffled. Why would Brewster need to bring in 18 All World JUCO's? After all, he has three classes of Mason's recruits to work with. Or whats left of them. What more could any coach ask for?
Of course that has nothing to do with anything as who ever followed Mason should win big, often and right now. Especially after inheriting a program that Mason himself proclaimed to be rebuilding in his final year!
You are correct though. Brewster "got the hand he was dealt."
Actually, Carpenter is not going to be here for spring practice. All 5 freshman and Kuznia will be in the spring two deep. It sucks Carpenter won't get the extra 15 practices to learn the offense, but at the same time it is good for the freshman–and good for our depth.
Wide receiver is going to be a strength in 2009.
We will have depth and a fair amount of experience — Decker, 4-year starter; Kunzia, starting experience; Green, starting experience; Smith, playing experience; McKnight and Brandon, a taste; Carpenter, juco excellence; and Keise, probably a redshirt.
Also the two all-purpose guys, Stoudemire and Pittman, may be in the mix at wide receiver too.
Cross your fingers on Bryant Allen (deciding tonight) and BrYce McNeal too. Allen is a legitimate threat to take a bubble screen to the house and we didn't have that this year.
Grunk—help me out with Allen. Background, etc. Thanks in advance.
[...] Minnesota star wide receiver Eric Decker is doing some running following left knee surgery and maintains he will return for his senior season in 2009, the Star Tribune's Kent Youngblood writes in his blog. Also, the Gophers' offensive line got a big boost with the signing of tackle Jeff Wills, Marcus Fuller writes in the St. Paul Pioneer Press. [...]
[...] Minnesota star wide receiver Eric Decker is doing some running following left knee surgery and maintains he will return for his senior season in 2009, the Star Tribune's Kent Youngblood writes in his blog. Also, the Gophers' offensive line got a big boost with the signing of tackle Jeff Wills, Marcus Fuller writes in the St. Paul Pioneer Press. [...]
Bayfield: I'm taking a direct shot at these recruiting whiz-kid classes that this brewster is supposed to be bringing in. I don't see it ahppening with what he is doing. He needs Big Ten wins and Big Ten wins are the only thing that counts.
Thses brewster apologists always talked about the great talent this zookster was brining into Illinois and tried to hold zookster up as the person that was just like this brewster in the Big Ten. Now it seems that there is a drug problem that runs through this Illinois football program. (check out the stabbing pains that the Illinois football program seems to be growing it's way into.) Way to go zookster! This brewster and ALL coaches need to be careful about the players they are recruiting. Society has a LOT of problems and the recruiting process needs to take lots of precautions to keep societie's problems out of their programs.
Yes, we are clearly headed in the right direction once we get this pesky game against Kansas out of the way. We will have the height of the recruiting season coming up followed by the always encouraging "off season" and the equally upbeat "Spring season". All sorts of hype and "reasonable expectation" games can be played by all the Kool Aid set without ever having their statements and hype put to the test of actually having to play real football games against actual Big Ten teams.
The 'boo boo' game against Iowa is ancient history which tells us nothing about next season's football team anymore than the ancient pyramids tell us about the building practices for the new stadium.
These are the heady eight months of real 'football' for the Brew Crew. The nasty four month minor part of the year where we are forced to actually play games is nearly over. The big talk, hype part of year can soon begin. I now fully expect a solid eight months of "wait until three years from now" to prevail.
Correction, meant Indiana's basketball program wasn't doing a good job of screening their recruits. MSU's Football program had some drug problems back in the Smoker days as well. Be careful when offering scholarships because those kinds of problems rip up a program.
Illini DT stabbed twice. Let me guess, he was stabbed for no reason at all.
But it is OK, Zook and his recruiting are models for our program.
Wren … Nice job of trying to slander and smear Gopher football players based on a news item you saw about another team.
YES, please give us more bubble screens. I love that play, it is sooo butch!
Loon … Nice job of sleaseweaseling.
the Loon says:
December 18th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Illini DT stabbed twice. Let me guess, he was stabbed for no reason at all.
But it is OK, Zook and his recruiting are models for our program.
I expect you to ban people who continue to discuss racist opinions. Do you really want your good name on this type of trash?
Bisker says:
December 18th, 2008 at 8:30 am
Texas Gopher,
Put it on the booooard!!!!
I think you will see a vastly different team than the one that ended the season. Getting keys players healthy will definitely help them get back on track. I look forward to what I believe will be a very entertaining bowl game.
Bayfieldgopher, I agree with your contention that the real gauge for improvement will come in the off season workouts and spring practice. Can't wait for the first kick off in the new stadium!
Good luck Gophs!!
Bisker I have always enjoyed your posts until you brought Hawk Harelson into the mix. What a miserable human being he is….
Otherwise keep up the good work.
I love it, you idiots can't find anything wrong with Mn. today so you use other schools to infer that thats us. What a bunch of crap.
littlebigboy …. It is just typical sleaseweasel attempt to dirty our program through smears, slander, slime and innuendo. That's all they've got.
Gainer to MSU. SH-T!
That's a shame. He would have been a nice addition. Let's hope we can get Taikwon Paige & Bryant Allen. I read that Traye Simmons is working hard on trying to convince Paige to come here.
Hey, the bubblehead Loon loves the bubble screen, how's that for irony?
Loon, so how did those last years at Memorial stadium work out for the Gophers? Never saw you comment on that one? We are returning to the outdoor setting, so I want to know how great it will be! Were we 90-30 in the 1970′s?
And on the last blog, I thought renegade was going to try kiss Bayfield, where do these oddballs come from?
It is almost scary the internet gives a voice to some of these deranged people.
I hope Brewster has a bodyguard because these people (ie Renegade) creep me out, I cant imagine the angst the coaches must feel.


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Definition of brainy in English:
brainySyllabification: brain·y
Pronunciation: /ˈbrānē /
adjective (brainier, brainiest)
Having or showing intelligence: a brainy, high-powered lawyer
More example sentences
- Trapped, not by a zoo collector but by his own brainy brilliance, he has set himself up in a huge restless menagerie where he is in constant danger of cracking under the strain.
- It may be too bright, too brainy for popular consumption, but I think they're looking at at it very seriously now.
- It was brilliant and brainy without being esoteric.
clever, intelligent, smart, bright, brilliant, gifted; intellectual, erudite, academic, scholarly, studious, bookish
- More example sentences
- It will not prepare moviegoers in any way for the depths of lunacy this brainily stupid movie plumbs.
- She reaches deep with delicate and knowing fingers to tug the filament of a brainily targeted emotion.
- But even the funniest of these brainily ludicrous jokes sputter halfheartedly.
- More example sentences
- All this camouflages, to some degree, his eclectic braininess: Before pursuing geography, he earned degrees in religious studies (with a minor in musical composition) and art.
- Without substantial characters or the faintest hint of realism underpinning the proceedings, the film comes off a bit like wish fulfillment for people whose braininess and ambition made them uncool as teenagers.
- For all its braininess, it's actually fun to listen to.
Pronunciation: /-nəlē/adverb
Definition of brainy in:
- The British & World English dictionary
- The English Synonyms
- The US English Synonyms
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Word of the day dinkum
Pronunciation: ˈdiNGkəm
(of an article or person) genuine


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I have posted this before (quite a few times :) but it is one of my favorites..Charlie Chaplin at the end of "The Circus" 1928
Charlie on tour with the Karno Company
(via fuckyeahchaplin)
Young People Drinking, 1900 (via The Selvedge Yard)
(via theblacklacedandy)
(via theblacklacedandy)
Tilbury carriage, Les Modes May 1902
(via theblacklacedandy)
The blurb is from an April 1932 issue of The New Movie.
The picture is Marion Davies (photo by C.S. Bull) in the aforementioned trapeze tights. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
Oh, and Buster Keaton was a god. That is all.
(via fortheloveofbuster)
Seaside, 1918 via The New York Public Library
(via theblacklacedandy)
Buster Keaton at home.
(Source: lanallure, via mrbusterkeaton)
(Source: gcapshare)


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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
A very good article! I agree on you mostly. I, personally, wouldn't want part of Stormwind to be permanently Scourge ridden like the Ghostlands have to put up with.
However, I found the final event with the attack on Stormwind to be very dull. I went out and experienced it once, then made sure to avoid the area for the rest of the time. I made an alt just to see the Org strike go down and while it was more interesting it still wasn't as much fun as the zombie invasion.
For the next expansion in 2010 (or whenever it comes out) I'd prefer it if it was set up like the holidays are. Dailies and lots of quests that you can do for a set limited time so you can get excited about it. I'd also prefer if the event didn't overlap with a in game holiday too since at first I thought the zombie invasion was part of Hallows Eve rather then WotLK.


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Drugstore Discovery of the Week: Still Sweet On Johnson & Johnson
A slew of newfangled baby beauty brands have emerged over the past decade, but there was just one when we were kids: Johnson & Johnson. Classic products like its Baby Shampoo, Lotion, Oil, and Powder have withstood the test of time—and still get some play in our own baby-free home. As anyone who has picked up a bottle of the golden-hued shampoo in adulthood is well aware, it still makes your hair, well, baby soft. Johnson's continues to launch new classics, the latest of which is its Honey Apple Baby Wash. The ultra-gentle formula was designed for delicate baby skin, making it perfect for super-sensitive grownups as well. Its low-foaming, creamy lather also has a pleasant scent that's sweet but not cloying. There's something comforting about seeing that old-school oval bottle holding its own in our shower. Some things never change.—Fiorella Valdesolo
Photo: Courtesy of Johnson & Johnson


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I have been overweight all my life. I was always the fat kid in a group. The jolly one if you will. I never let my weight get in the way of anything. My mom was supportive of every endeavor I wanted to do. My weight didn't control me, but I felt it was prohibiting extra stuff in my life. Recently my wife and I had our year wedding anniversary. The start a family talk has been overwhelming from both sides of the family. My main motivation for this surgery is make to make sure I am around to experience my kids lives. To better my life and make healthy choices for my family. Tomorrow, 4/10/13 I start my 2 week "liver" shrinking diet in preparation of my surgery. I am hoping that everything goes as best as possible. I am not nervous at all, my wife on the other hand is a nervous wreck.
Well.....one week to go and the liver shrinking...
Well this is the surgery week. I am sitting at 339...
Today is the day after surgery. My belly feels...
Day 2 after surgery, and I must say the worst pain...
May 1st, 1 week after surgery feeling great. I...
Sorry for the delay.....
So far so good. I have met with the Doctor for the consult and the preops talks. He seems confident and direct with his approach. I look forward to updating this after the surgery and subsequent visits.
Comments (8)
Hi John,
How are you doing now it's been another week or so post-op? Are you recovering well?
- Reply
- Reply
- Reply
John I am excited for you on this journey...my surgery date is schedule for June 20,2013 I will keep you in my prayers make sure you post after..God Bless
- Reply
- Reply
Hi there, welcome and thanks so much for sharing your journey with us!
Wow, not long until the big day! If you don't mind me asking, what is your current weight and do you have a goal weight yet, that you want to reach?
- Reply
- Reply
That's a great attitude to have. I'm sure your doctor will give you some guidelines of what they expect you to lose, but at the end of the day, this is about getting healthy for you and your family.
Please do keep us updated with your progress!
- Reply


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Can someone make a thisiscisprivilege?
I wanna put "your gender is not consider a fetish. When you want to look for people of your gender, you do not have to look for a category that is a slur. Alternatively your gender is non represented at all on porn site"
- sillysillysillysilly likes this
- sodcalm-getangry likes this
- chauvinistsushi posted this


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I saw "G.I. Joe" and "Transformers 2." on opening night. I'm not proud of that fact, but I also know that admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery.
If I can find it within myself to stop seeing every bit of dreck that is stamped with the trademark of something I loved when I was a kid, then maybe the studios who make and distribute movies will be forced to make movies I will actually enjoy.
Which is why I am making a plea for the beautiful "Bright Star." Jane Campion's brilliant ode to first love and poet John Keats. It will be released in additional theaters this weekend, so if you haven't been able to find it at a theater near you, maybe it will be there now.
The performances are superb and Campion has woven a gorgeous, moving tapestry of passionate first love with fine, elegant stitches. Support good movies. See this one!


text:
European ParliamentRoom ASP 3H114.00-16.00
14.00Welcome - Mario Pirillo, MEPModerator - Teresa Riera Madurell, MEP
14.2021st Century Testing and Health Research: A Look Inside the ToolboxProf. Dr. Lisabeth Knudsen, President of ECOPA, University of Coprnhagen Department of Public Health, Denmark
14.30The FP7 Project AXLR8: Accelerating the Transition to a Toxicity Pathway ParadigmDr. Troy Seidle, AXLR8, Associate Coordinator, Canada
14.40Mapping the Pathways of Toxicity in Humans. What are the Benefits?Prof. Dr. Marcel Leist, CAAT-EU, Konstanz University, Germany
14.50Industry's Needs for the 21st Century Safety Science and Non-Animal Approaches (A Unilever Perspective)Dr. Julia Fentem, Vice President, Unilever Safety and Environmental Assurance, United Kingdom
15.00The JRC's Role in Advancing Safety Assessment ScienceProf. Maurice Whelan, Head of Systems Toxicology Unit Responsible for EURL ECVAM, European Commission Joint Research Centre, Italy
15.10Development and Use of Advanced Testing Approaches by the U.S. FDA (TBC)Dr. Donald Prater, Deputy Director (Food), Europe Office, U.S. Food and Drug Administration, Belgium
15.20Advancing Safety Science and Health Research Under Horizon 2020 with Innovative, Non-Animal Tools Report PresentationDr. Gill Langley, Senior Scientific Advisor, Humane Society International, Untied Kingdom
If you need a badge to enter the European Parliament, please email and specify '10th October Event' in the email subject.
WC9: Humane Science in the 21st Century August 24-28, 2014 Prague, Czech Republic
Symposium on Social Housing of Laboratory Animals October 5-6, 2014 Denver, Colorado
Green Toxicology Workshop October 23, 2014 Empa, Dübendorf, Switzerland
The Emergence of Systematic Review and Related Approaches in Toxicology November 21, 2014 Baltimore, MD
More Meetings...
©2014, Johns Hopkins University. All rights reserved. Web policies, 615 N. Wolfe Street, Baltimore, MD 21205


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text:
11:48 AM PT -- Kelly's people tell us ... "Initial indications are that he is suffering from complications from surgery he had last year to treat an abscess on his vocal cords."
Besides the book launch party ... Kelly has also had to bail on the "Jimmy Fallon Show" and canceled an appearance on NBC's "Today" show.
Kelly's people note, "It is unclear how long Kelly may be sidelined."
R. Kelly is suffering from a mysterious "health emergency" ... that has caused the singer to cancel an event in New York this evening ... TMZ has learned.
We spoke with Kelly's rep ... who tells us the singer has officially postponed tonight's R. Kelly Book Launch event in NYC "due to a health emergency that has sidelined Mr. Kelly in Chicago."
The rep adds, "We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this has caused."
Probably those tight a-s shorts he likes to wear, constricting his man parts.
You people discuss me. He was cleared of all charged and it was also found the he was not the person in the pictures and he has never been known to use drugs. I guess you just make **** up as you go along. *******s..........................
Abscess on vocal cords can be a side effect of herpes, HPV (genital warts), or tonsil issues. Given his history I would suspect one of the first two.
Didn't know you needed vocal cords when you lip synch.
Most of All of you can close your mouth... Praying for the King!!
His emergency is he is trying to find some young girls to play with
Seriously...no one cares!
Come on people...yes R Kelly has some 'issues' but inspite of that he is a very talented man who can write/ produce some d*** good music.
Nice idea
I was so mad when I heard about this. Man, was I pissed!
probably from all that piss he drinks!
Get well soon