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This is from Chris Adrian's new novel, "The Great Night", a sort-of sequel to Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream", only set in present day San Francisco, with Oberon & Titania's fairy court appearing one night in Buena Vista Park, and all havoc wreaks as a result of Puck, trapping several "young lovers" in the park along with the fairy folk. (As well as a group of homeless, here substituting for the actors.) (It all works, trust me.)
It's a fascinating read.
For one, the premise (Shakespeare's characters and play recreated/revisited in a modern day setting) is one I love and (most always) can get behind. For two, the way the story is told, featuring each character's flashbacks to their painful lives (even Titania's) are both excruciatingly frank and sad. The backstories interweave along with the present, and within each other (think Lost), but also progress the story.
Anyways, I love this passage, because it's so fittingly true to my experiences with relationships and people.
(Yes, the speaker here is gay, and discussing a homosexual relationship, but I think it applies to anyone.)
Because who hasn't done that? I can't be the only one who, in the absence of an actual person, falls in love with the idea of that person. This could be someone you may go out with, but due to schedules, never really see that much; someone who lives far away, or a long distance relationship; or someone you simply like from afar, a crush that develops over distances and space, one built on tumblr posts and texts and FB comments and tweets and emails or late night phone calls and even later at night, post-drinking exchanges that invariably both parties regret the next day, or just forget ever happened.
Years and years ago, a close friend pointed out that this is always what I do. That by the time the first date is over, in my head I'm already months down the relationship timeline, and I've already sabotaged myself and the relationship in my head, or fallen for something that wasn't real. I've committed myself to a relationship that doesn't exist, in an imaginary, romantically perfect world I created in my head.
This is a problem I've more or less got over, over the past half decade, as I'm now a bitter, jaded cynic when it comes to love and relationships. (This isn't a bad thing, actually.)
But every so often, this "daydreaming" reoccurs.
Sometimes (always) with, obviously, disastrous results.
It doesn't help that sometimes the person on the other end, the half of the relationship that isn't present, does things to lead one on and into thinking something is there that isn't. (Cue Beauty & The Beasts "Something There".)
And every time it happens, it's just as bad as the time before, and you'd think I'd learn my lesson. And mostly I do (by this I mean I just stop caring for anyone at all), but then, invariably, I let my guard down and let others convince me of feelings that may or may not exist, and soon I'm back in my imaginary world where I have feelings and have fallen for someone I believe feels the same.
Only to be confronted by the cold, hard realty of the situation later and to be so vastly disappointed and overwhelmed that all I can do is retreat and escape back into my well-fortified and protected fort of bitter, jaded cynicism.
Now, this is entirely my fault. I don't blame others for their inability to conform to the intense and overly-romanticized version of them that I've created in my head. How could I? You don't blame a dream for not being real after you wake up.
But, and if I was the only person I knew that did this, that'd be another thing, but I'm not, so clearly others put stock in imaginary things.
I know people who have traveled vast distances and spent great amounts of money visiting someone they fell for in the false-world they created within the reality of the situation. People who then are confronted by disparagingly sad realities when they realize the boy/girl they've been fascinated by either has a girlfriend/boyfriend that they've failed to mention in those late-night texts and even later at night calls; or they are really just not interested; or they simply love having someone want them.
(Girls, it seems, always want attention from any guy, no matter whether they need it or not, and no matter the source. I have female friends who become better and closer female friends with me anytime they're single. But the moment they find a "real boy", that is, someone worth dating who isn't a "puppet", and by "puppet" I mean a stand-in for a boyfriend/romantic relationship, someone they can get attention from and give attention to, someone they can subsidize their feelings with and for; as soon as they find this "real boy", then the "puppet's" strings are cut. It's back to me never hearing from them… until they break up and need someone to once again pick them back up and give them an emotional crutch. They need their strings.)
And that is the gist of it, really. And I'm not putting all the blame on girls; I know guys who keep girls around for the same reason, unable to commit or pull the trigger, but needing and wanting that attention. Is it waiting for something else better to come along, or is it a desire to not be lonely in the short run?
Either way, it causes everyone to imagine and put faith in realities that aren't real. And as this passage from "The Great Night" points out, it's only afterward that we realize how much faith and stock we put into the falsity of the relationship, entirely missing the reality of it, and thus falling for something and someone that never actually existed.
But by then it's too late. The damage is done. We've already flown to Vegas or New York or Oklahoma or driven cross country or two states over or just up the 101 to a seaside beach town. We've already invested, emotionally, into something that turns out to not exist, and suddenly all of that real emotion poured into something entire fake bursts and crumbles and we're left feeling entirely foolish and angry, angry at being a fool and angry at letting ourselves once again fall for something that was never real to begin with.
And in the process, we might have damaged or lost a real and valuable friendship. Or maybe not, maybe we caught ourselves from falling for the same shtick that others (including ourselves previously) have fallen for.
At the end of the day, relationships are only as real as the people in them. And when you deal with people who don't know who they are, and who they want to be, and hide behind some façade they've created, people who are afraid to be themselves for the very same reason that you are afraid to be yourself, then nothing is real and nothing ever works out.
Los Angeles has plenty of people who refuse and are unable to cope with their own reality. "Never date an actor or actress" is thrown about everywhere (and with good reason), but the same holds true for almost anyone. So many people in Hollywood pretend to be someone other then themselves for so long they lose who they really are. Some have to "always be on" for their job, or are always pleasing someone else, or are always subservient to a boss, or have just forgotten who they really are, that no matter what, you'll never get to know the real person that exists within. They have to be the friend who always parties, who never says no; the girl who's always a good time or the guy who always gives rides; the couple that always says they'll come out for just one beer but never appear; the friend who always has an excuse for why he can't hang out.
And it's not just LA. Sure, we're a special kind of fucked up here in the City of Angels, but it's not the only place where this happens. More and more people develop online identities and personalities to be somebody else or someone better. People reinvent themselves when they move, or drop their friends and lifestyles in the hope of being someone else, even if they're sacrificing everything that they liked and defined them for the sake of something new or different or "potentially" better.
I'm as guilty as anyone in every count listed above, and plenty of us are. We're social chameleons, or social networking chameleons.
But somehow, in the process of trying to be someone else or someone better, in trying to be a better version of ourselves for the sake of a girl or a boy, we lost entirely who we are and the reason we wanted to change to begin with.
We've created another reality. One filled with cracks just waiting to fall apart.
So I guess this post is about learning to navigate the various realities, real and imagined, that exist around us, that we create and that others present to us, in the hopes of finding something and someone real, and having something real with them.
More often than not, this doesn't happen. As long as there's communication there will be miscommunication.
And it's not to say that girls or boys are using deception or lying; let me say right now that's not what I'm saying. (Though several do.) What I'm saying is that we all will misinterpret everything said by anyone we are interested in, because invariably we want something to be there when it's not. It's that false hope we believe in and that waylaid faith we have only in others.
But if any of us hope to be real and live in the real world, to escape back to reality, then we have to face the cold, hard facts that exist in the real world. That means getting hurt and that means getting your heartbroken, and that means taking risks and putting it out there. And that means we have to stop fabricating relationships out of hope and lust and missed connections.
We have to wake up. And stay awake.
There are things and people worth dreaming for, but it's better for everyone if they're actually there when you wake up. Otherwise, what's the point?


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You are in... Forums > Discuss This > MotoGP > Cal Crutchlow not upset to miss out on maiden win
Matthew Birt says:
Cal Crutchlow may still be seeking to end Britain's 32-year winless run in the MotoGP world championship but denied he had missed a golden chance to claim a first premier win in Germany yesterday (Sunday).
The British rider produced one of the best performances of his career at the Sachsenring to fight his way back from sixth to second, passing Assen...
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Jul 11
Posts: 258
Ocdcbr says:
An awesome performance by cal. In the circumstances I don't think he can have made any better choices... Not the strongest start but its better than going crazy and ending up on the floor or taking out someone else.... Again behind Rossi he had to take his time and do a clean move which he did. 10/10 from me and all us Brits should be behind him giving our positive support 100%
I'm hoping for more of the same next race!! GO CAL!!
Jan 12
Posts: 1623
doohanfan says:
will win Laguna Seca rev.Dovi has made career moves that are worse, and caused greater offence to Japanese factories, than Cal ever has, not that this necessarily is high praise for Cal's corporate negotiation skills.Imo Dovi reached his peak a few years ago, and is a high class journeyman rider. Whether he would have beaten Cal this year with both on Tech 3 Yamahas is and will remain a matter of conjecture; he was certainly better than Cal last year, but Cal seems to have improved this year, and riders have been known to improve.What isn't in dispute is that Cal is on a satellite bike, and is performing better than any satellite rider since the 800 class started. Dovi whilst better than Cal last year didn't reach those heights, and didn't do much better on a factory Honda, although a win is a win, particularly in the premier class, wet, dry or otherwise.
[This Reply has been modified by the Author]
Jul 12
Posts: 3070
wosihound says:
Rossi set his fastest 4 times on on laps 7,8,10 & 11.
The man himself said, "The first ten laps were not so bad but later I started to have problems.."
It was pretty clear that Rossi's pace dropped off, while Cal's got better..his fastest time was on lap 17.
So what's all this..
"In the first few laps, me and Valentino were struggling so much..we had no rear grip in the first 10 laps and really struggled opening the gas."
"We were both in the same situation but being really honest I felt I was willing to take more risks than him. I am not saying I was willing to be on the floor but I wanted to catch Marc."
What, Rossi didn't want to catch Crutchlow's new best buddy, Marc?
Absolute horseshit Crutchlow..you're telling stories to try and make yourself look better. Perhaps the ex-van driver thinks everyone is as simple as him? He reminds me of Stoner the way he makes things up to suit himself.
I like this one best..
"I think I might have caught him..Valentino is no slouch too and it was not easy to pass him."
Well done for working that one out Pal?..and from a bloke who keeps telling everyone how much he deserves stuff, but who has yet to lead a single lap in a GP race?
Put a sock in it you numpty.
is a satellite bike rev. Name some other riders who have done as well as Cal is currently doing on a satellite bike in the fuel economy formula era.Last year was Cal's second year in GP bike racing, and superbikes have not been a great conduit to GP bike racing in recent years. Dovi has had every opportunity, mostly well merited, including actually making it on to a factory Honda for 3 years, and many years in GP bike racing including several more than Cal in the premier class.
Jul 13
Posts: 348
ElDiabolico says:
is starting to sound like "Lorenzow" 2 - 3 years ago... everyone in Spain used to say to him to STFUp and race...
"Valentino is no slouch too..." No! We always believed that the 9 WT where due to planet alignement... thanks for the tip Cal! Enjoy while it lasts...
if JL and DP were fit, no CC nor VR would have been in the podium... Vale was not happy with his setup and Cal would probably end up falling if under pressure...
"We were both in the same situation but being really honest I felt I was willing to take more risks than him. I am not saying I was willing to be on the floor but I wanted to catch Marc..."
We already know that, that's why you fall 2-3 times per race weekend... You got lucky until now but luck doesn't last forever (ask Vale)...
Jun 10
Posts: 510
weskit says:
The man himself complained about having issues with the rear tyre, and it's cited on motogp.com as the reason Bradl was able to get past on the first lap. Rossi looked to back off slightly after almost high-siding himself around lap 14. So far all consistent with what Crutchlow had to say, so what exactly have you got an issue with? Besides the fact that your idol was beaten by the satellite bike. Again.
May 13
Posts: 150
WillRTW says:
faster than VR... great result Cal... that sure was a lucky podium for Vale... if JL had been fit, it would of been JL top step and then MM and CC... and if Pugwash was fit, 4th was his leaving Vale with 5th...!
Jan 09
Posts: 960
RawDawg says:
what's your deal mate? Cal had a splendid race and great result yet you are all over him like stink on shit. He doesn't have to make any excuses for finishing 2nd - it's not like he has the pressure and expectation of winning on a satellite bike or being a challenger for the title. He had a really good day. Since he's the first Brit to have 4 podiums in a season in the premier class since 1982 I would have thought you would be sucking his dick and licking his balls instead of kicking him in the ass lol
Apr 11
Posts: 1681
ow01fogno1 says:
Ur just
Annoyed cal beat Rossi on a fave circuit and no excuses by Rossi,beat him fair and square on his m1 as Rossi would
Say,I'm sure cal is speaking for Rossi meanin he did struggling because he told
Me,or was you racing and heard differen??? Lol I
Thought not
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It's Always Something: A History of Natural Disasters in Santa Cruz County
Museum of Art and History
Floods! Fires! Earthquakes! Droughts! Tsumani! In his talk Sandy Lydon will review the parade of calamities that have beset Santa Cruz over the years, and attempt to answer the obvious question: What are they trying to prove and why didn't they just give up?
Wednesday, October 14
5:30 pm
Museum of Art and History
705 Front Street
Santa Cruz, 95060
PriceFree, but reservations essential! (831) 429-8433
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text: The Flippo Gallery is a space dedicated to the exhibition of contemporary works of art by professional artists. Artists exhibiting at the Flippo Gallery, emerging and established, present work in a variety of media addressing a wide range of conceptual concerns. The gallery is intended to serve as link between the educational mission of Randolph-Macon College and the community at large. Built in 1876, Pace-Armistead Hall is included on the National Register of Historic Places. The building was renovated in 1997. The Flippo Gallery is located on the first floor of Pace-Armistead Hall. The renovation was made possible by a generous gift from Mr. and Mrs. M. William Armistead. A gift from Mr. and Mrs. F. Carter Flippo provided an opportunity to incorporate the design of the Flippo Gallery into the renovation.Directions to Pace-Armistead Hall: http://www.rmc.edu/MapsandDirections.aspxThe gallery's hours are 10:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. Mondays through Fridays, and also by appointment. The Flippo Gallery will be closed during Academic holidays.Please visit the Flippo Gallery Facebook page!


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Grevillea striata R.Br.
Trans.Linn.Soc.London 10:177 (1810)
Naturalised Status: Native to Western Australia
Name Status: Current
Brief Description
Grazyna Paczkowska,
Thursday 17 August 1995
Tree or shrub, 3-12(-15) m high. Fl. white-cream/yellow-green, Jul or Oct to Dec or Jan or Mar. Red sand, loam, clay. Near watercourses, plains.
Beard's Provinces: Eremaean Province, Northern Province.
IBRA Regions: Carnarvon, Central Kimberley, Central Ranges, Dampierland, Gascoyne, Great Sandy Desert, Murchison, Ord Victoria Plain, Pilbara, Tanami, Victoria Bonaparte.
IBRA Subregions: Ashburton, Augustus, Carnegie, Eastern Murchison, Fitzroy Trough, Fortescue, Hamersley, Hart, Mackay, Mann-Musgrave Block, McLarty, Ord, Ord-Victoria Plains P1, Pentecost, Pindanland, Tanami P1, Victoria Bonaparte P1, Western Murchison, Wooramel.
Local Government Areas (LGAs): Ashburton, Derby-West Kimberley, East Pilbara, Halls Creek, Meekatharra, Murchison, Ngaanyatjarraku, Upper Gascoyne, Wiluna, Wyndham-East Kimberley.
Scientific Description
Chris Hollister and Nicholas S. Lander,
Tuesday 8 April 2008
Habit and leaf form. Trees, 9–30 m high. Branchlets not glaucous. Leaves simple, 100–350 mm long overall. Leaf blade 2–15 mm wide, undissected, flat, linear. Margins entire, flat. Hairs straight.
Inflorescence and floral features. Inflorescence axillary, or terminal; a raceme. Flowers green or cream, very irregular. Pedicel 1–2 mm long. Perianth 3–4.5 mm long, simple-hairy, 4 -partite; lobes all free. Stamens 4. Pistil 6–10 mm long, stipitate; stipe 1–2 mm long. Ovary glabrous. Styles glabrous, white or cream. Pollen presenter conical.
Fruit features. Fruit granulose, oblong or ellipsoidal, glabrous, 13–21 mm long.
Flowering Time. August, or September, or October, or November, or December.
Habitat. Amongst medium trees, or low trees, or tall (sclerophyll) shrubland; in rocky or stony soil, or gravelly soil, or sand, or loam; occupying water courses, shale ridge.
Distribution. Western Australia, Northern Territory, South Australia, Queensland, New South Wales. Western Australian Botanical Province(s): Eremaean and Northern; IBRA Bioregions ER: GSD, TAN, PIL, CAR, GAS, CR, and MUR; IBRA Bioregions N: VB, DL, and OVP.
Etymology. striata (L): s. furrowed, striped, bot. striate, with fine lines or gooves.
Descriptions were generated using DELTA format and DELTA software: Dallwitz (1980) and Dallwitz, Paine and Zurcher (1993 onwards, 1995 onwards, 1998)


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