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I'm Renting...And Okay with That
As I chatted with a group of parents at a 4-year-old's birthday party recently, the talk over frosting-smudged paper plates inevitably turned to schools, mortgages, and condos. As I tried to slip another cupcake onto my plate, one of the moms turned to me and asked if we were going to sell our place any time soon. Not thinking anything of it, I said that we rent, and man did the needle come flying off the record player. I felt a few more eyes on me, and I had the weird feeling that I was suddenly the "renter" in a room of "home owners".
Before that, things had been going swimmingly. I helped break the ice by making everyone mimosas, told a few wacky-parent stories (parents love a good wacky-parent story), taught one of the dads to do a soul handshake (awkward). But once I mentioned that we were renters, things changed. Suddenly the group was either sympathizing with me, questioning me with furrowed brows, or letting me know subtly that "it was okay". One couple spent a solid 15 minutes explaining how long it took for them to find a place to buy in the city and to "hang in there." Hang in there?! The awkward soul shake dad wrote down his realtor friend's number, since he specializes in "up and coming areas" that are "a lot more affordable" than where we're currently living. And one of the moms kept peppering everything she said with the phrase "which we really can't afford," while looking directly at me, as if to say, "See sister? I'm broke too!"
By the end of the kiddie party I wanted to make a public declaration on why we're renting. Instead, I stuck another cupcake in my purse and left the party in confusion as to what had just happened. It was like a universal truth that renting = bad, but it's been an overall positive experience for us. I know it's all contextual. We were lucky to find a space we love in a great neighborhood in the city. We painted and decorated and made the space our own and, in a way, life's just taken off while we've been here. Between marriage and two kids, and not enough hours in the day for the professional and creative endeavors we're trying to propel, buying a home just hasn't entered into the picture yet. I'm not opposed to it and, sure, one day the ability to fix up a kitchen and retile a bathroom sounds great, but I'm not lying awake at night in a panic because we don't own our place either. So I was surprised at the level of concern expressed, as people tried to offer solutions to our "problem" when we're in no hurry to fix anything because nothing feels broken. We don't have a house but we most definitely have a beautiful home.
And, really, isn't all of life contextual and unique, including our living arrangements? For some people, buying a home signals their entree into adulthood, but that's not the case for all of us. I suppose it's similar to those who are unmarried by choice or childless by choice. We don't all want the same dream. At the same time. In the same way.
So as renter's month comes to a close here on Apartment Therapy, I wanted to give a little shout out to those of us who are renting who are not just out of college, who are working professionals (some even with families), who are not broke, who are not "hanging in there." We're renting simply because we are. And we're okay with that.
(Image: Dean's Stylish & Social Greystone)
127 Comments
I'll drink to that!
My husband and I feel the same way! We're amongst the oldest renters in our apartment bldg., and while we do plan to have a house someday, we're completely fine with renting for now - if the refrigerator dies the landlord takes care of it; when it snows we don't have to shovel... nice!! Like you, I think it would be fun to make some more changes, like retiling or doing something interesting with our ugly kitchen cabinets, but for now we're very happy renting!
We rent w/o regrets. My wife and I travel more frequently and quite honestly better? than any homeowner couple we know. I think I might even own more power tools than them too. What do they really own anyway? They still pay taxes to the people who really OWN the land.
Speaking as an owner of not one but TWO homes, I think you're doing the right thing. Let me explain: I recently bought a foreclosed house, cash, that I intend to live in. I won't have a mortgage. Yes, it needs work and it's modest but I'm OK with that. What I'm not OK with is the house I am currently living in. Back when I was a gainfully employed professional, I remember coming home in the evening from work and realizing as I stepped over the threshhold that everything I had was actually owned by the bank and it could be taken away in an instant if I ever lost my job. Well, I lost my job and have been paying the mortgage with my savings. I've recently got an offer on it and I can't wait to be out from under this albatross because that's what it is if you don't own it outright. Oh sure, I enjoyed finishing the basement, replacing the kitchen and adding hardwood floors. But it never really belonged to me. It was only contingent, a conditional ownership as long as I was working. In other words, it was rent.
I'm sure I will get all that equity back and then some and some of that will go towards paying for my daughter's education. But I have learned my lesson. If you're going to own a house, OWN a house. Save up as much money as you can before you buy, be modest and put aside 2 years of mortgage payments in savings just in case. If you can't afford to do that, rent. You'll sleep easier.
Living in a country (Switzerland) where the majority of people rent apartments I have always found this idea that you "have to buy" that other countries have (like the US or the UK) somewhat weird. Especially nowadays when people move around a lot (more so when they are younger) and you hear so much about people who can't afford their homes in the first place.
My partner is reluctant to buy a house at any point in our lives, since we would always have a mortgage, and the bank would truly own the house. I feel differently about that situation, but I certainly am in no rush to own, even when we marry and have children. I don't pay property taxes, and if something breaks, the landlord fixes it.
I'm looking forward to owning a house, when we can make whatever changes we want (update the kitchen, redo closets, renovate the bathroom). But in the meantime, renting is a choice, and not "what you do until you get a house."
People just really need to step off when it comes to people not following customary "norms" of society, whether it's the decision to stay single, not have kids, renting, or anything else outside of the box.
It truly is a financial choice that only makes sense for some people, but it is so ingrained in the US psyche for middle class people to get that house.
You can use this online calculator to figure out if it makes sense financially for you:
For me, owning means no one else has a say in how we live and it's a way to set aside some money for security. Plus, the renovating. Best hobby ever.
I think attitude varies from city to city. A lot of cities are great to live in but purchasing a home is not possible for a person or a family. The only benefit I see to owning a home (which I do) is the possibility that it will go up in value and I'll be able to make a bit of money from it. Other then that, no. It's quite expensive to own a home and I have to give up on other things that I could enjoy when I was renting. To each his/her own. It depends on what each person's personal priorities are.
Every time I do the math on the tax savings, I waste hours on Redfin trying to find something suitable. Then I look out my window at my gorgeous view and go relax in my insanely comfortable, perfectly located apartment. I'm about to resign my lease for another year, and the only part of me that wants to move is the part that pays the taxes. Doesn't seem like reason enough quite yet. I don't want to settle for less in buying a condo, so I'll keep socking money away until I can get more by buying.
Did you teach Awkward Dad how to do the Harlem Shake too?
I wish you had cut off the "poor little you" murmurings with a blanket statement that you are happy being a renter (and a few other things if you no longer wished to be polite). You don't have to explain to a room of (basically) strangers or anyone else why you live the way you do. It is no one else's business!!
Very likely those people had not-so-fond memories of what it was like to be renting and were just trying to help. While some may be lucky in their situations and homeownership is not for everyone (I'm ambivalent about the prospect, myself), renting often brings its own set of distressing circumstances: bad landlords, bad neighbors, laundry wars, things you wish you could change but can't ... the list goes on and on.
The fact is, I will never be able to afford to buy a home in the neighborhood where I live. So I rent and I love it. I can live exactly where I want to live, treat the place like my own (in fact, I choose to take care of the little yard myself because it relaxes me), yet don't have to pay for maintenance or emergency fixes. I spend my time enjoying the place, not worrying about it. Good deal.
Several of my fellow single, almost-30 friends are buying houses right now. It seems like an effort to have something in common with their married, almost-30 friends. They want to "own" something and make a lot of fuss about it making "fiscal sense". Maybe it does, but, I feel a lot more "at home" in my current rental than I ever did in the Sonoma condo I used to own. I think it's really about finding and creating a great space than ownership, and you can do this with renting or buying.
I've owned before, and rent now. Painting the walls whatever color I wanted was great, but so was calling the landlord twice last winter when the roof leaked twice, and not worrying about whether I had enough money to pay for repairs myself. There's pros and cons to both.
You think that's hard? Try saying "I don't like coffee" to a group. Any group. I feel I've barely escaped tarring & feathering.
Hello, I'm leapkate. I'm unmarried, with no children, I rent, and I don't like coffee. Bonus point: I don't like baseball or football.
I love it when people claim they don't pay property taxes because they rent. Um, it's included in the rest. And if you live someplace like San Francisco, where rents have risen 14% in the last year, guess what? It's cheaper to buy! I definitely agree that there are major pros to renting (no unexpected maintenance bills, things are taken care of for you, etc - you are paying for a service, instead of equity, which is great and has its own value!). We bought, in large part, to lock in a monthly payment we knew we could afford, since it was the bottom of the bubble in San Fran, and rents were skyrocketing. It is a different type of insurance! Also, taxes here are tied to purchase price, and don't go up like in other places, so that is not a concern here like in other states.
We own. Have for 8 years now. But now that we have children, sometimes I wish we didn't. I think we could save about $400 a month if we rented something just one room smaller. We don't have neighbors that listen to loud music or heavy walkers living above us. But we have to handle our own maintenance/repairs and mow our own grass/landscaping. Sometimes I'd rather rent than deal with that mess.
I totally agree on the benefits of renting. I wish there were house valet services that would fix everything that breaks in an (owned) home. My last rental was in a great building with a very responsive landlord, and it was so convenient in so many ways. And then when it wasn't, we moved. And that flexibility is great, too.
I live in the UK where owning your home is almost expected. I still remember having a conversation with my father when I was about 19 where he told me that renting was for idiots and I was wasting my money; I should buy a house and get a foot on the ladder. My husband and I went ahead and bought a house (with a mortgage so we don't truly own it) and the next conversation with my father was where he told me that having a mortgage was a constant burden and I was stupid to give up my lovely rental. Owning is a constant stress that comes with masses of expense and sometimes we do consider going back to rental...
Exactly this.
I get sick of the expectation that you must follow certain steps in life. Get married, buy a house, have kids. (for me it's the 'marry your boyfriend and have kids at your age' part that I get grilled on.) But why is that assumed to be the correct path? Yeah, jump on the homeowner bandwagon and possibly loose equity almost immediately, have high expenses and maintenance, and a heck of a time when you decide you want to sell. Don't get me wrong, I that I own my condo, but it fits into my particular 5 year financial plan. Shouldn't mean anything to the rest of the world.
After owning for many years, we now rent. We're deciding on an area, and seeing what shakes out with kids' schooling locations. I'm quite happy having someone else worry about the washing machine breaking or new appliances or what have you, frankly. For now at least, it's far less stressful!
Way to go! I'm okay with it too, especially since the duplex we're in is just the right size at a great price and close to both me and my long-term boyfriend's work, but not in an HOA neighborhood (which all the regular housing developments around this area are, and I HATE HOA builder developments). Honestly, unless an affordable lot popped up in my dream area of town, I'll be fine being in the duplex for quite a while longer. In fact, if my landlord ever wanted to sell, I'd scoop it up in a heartbeat and do the mass gutting renovation I've been dying to do since moving in. But, as it is, it works, and we're happy. It's just the rest of the family that keeps telling us to get married, buy a house, and have kids. Not ready, not sure when I'll be ready, and not in a rush to get there.
We rent by choice and don't have children by choice. So what if everyone thinks we're poor and barren! :P We're not and we know it!!
We've lived in more than one area that has gone "downhill" where property values went down significantly. And property taxes here are as much as mortgage payments. I've talked with people who have been scared off from moving across the state line to here for that reason. And I know it to be true since they fight about it in the local government all the time.
Pair with that not having to pay when major stuff goes bad...our landlady has laid out at least $10K in the past year on this house. I'm happy to not have the headaches of home ownership.
We live rural and our rent is unheard of in the major city that we came from. I wouldn't change it for anything!
I think it depends where you live. Here in Montreal, something like 50% of people are renters, not owners. There's absolutely no stigma attached.
If anything, it's the owners who get the sympathy -- they're the ones dealing with fluctuating mortgage rates, high property taxes, condo fees, expensive and unexpected maintenance and repairs, and long commutes from the suburbs where they've been exiled due to property prices.
Meanwhile, us renters are sitting pretty, thanks to rent control that allows us to afford our large, open spaces in great neighbourhoods. I calculated it out once, and realized it would cost me about *double* on a monthly cost per living basis to own the very same place I'm now happily renting.
The only reason I bought my (first) condo this winter is because my beautiful and affordable apartment was becoming less affordable. Housing is so tight here that the city is at a 2% vacancy rate for apartments. I could buy a condo with mortgage + HOA payments that equal my current rent - and saves me the inevitable $100+ rent increase I'd had every year I rented.
I was nearly devastated to leave my lovely, welcoming apartment. The only thing that save it was that I moved a total of 2 blocks away. But I know what you mean - I also kept getting asked when I was going to buy a house, and when I finally announced I was looking, everyone was as jubilant as if I had announced I was getting married.
Woah!!! I understand how you feel.
So many people live by a "norm", not even certain where it comes from at times.
There IS societal expectation that you educate yourself, get a job, find a mate, get a place, have children, ....all in that perfect cookie-cutter order! It's insane!!!!
I have a small cedar house now, FOR NOW, and am not sure if it's permanent. Sure it is cute, adorable, cabin-like, zany, charming etc, but so were my 12ft-ceiling-ed apartments with French doors, oak floors & industrial views, as were tiny charming houses i rented... The were equally homes to me, made funky by how i lived in them, what i hung on the walls, who visited me.
I feel absolutely no happier owning except that most of my family now sighs a sign of relief that i may actually be NORMAL. Which in a way depresses the heck out of me... and, unbeknownst to all, i check out rentals in Prague and Portugal more often than they will ever know... the heck with the house.
Life is what you make it and forget the nay-sayers! I'm sure your place is great.
Yes! I love this post! My husband and I are in our early 40's with 3 children. One child is in college and 2 in high school. We have owned a few homes but have rented more years than owned! Being renters has given us the freedom to move with ease when my husband was relocated across Canada and to Washington DC where we rented a fabulous home in the suburbs of Virginia. Moving back to Vancouver where the real estate market is ridiculous, we have chosen to rent. We can rent a house in a desired neighbourhood for $1000 less than owning that house. So we can't renovate but we have a roof over our head, money in the bank and the freedom to move if life takes us in a different direction. We too get the "hang in there" , shock that we "rent" (like that is a bad thing or somehow we are bad people) from people. Why do we get punished because we are prudent, we save and we live debt free? We have decorated the home the way we would like it and have enjoyed our life in this home, whether we rent or not.
I agree that sometimes people look at you like you are nuts to rent, but mostly it comes from a good place. I think the underlying thought is that you are throwing money away. I have managed to buy an apartment in the city, sell it, and buy an apartment for cash in brooklyn with no mortgage. My monthly is only the tax abated common charge of 350 bucks....its such a great feeling. So, my owning an apartment allowed me to put myself in this current position. Often you could never afford the space you have from renting if you were buying. (this is for nyc only )
I owned for a few years; then sold at the beginning of the housing collapse; wound up paying out of pocket for unexpected expenses just to sell the house. It was fun owning; I had the freedom to paint, refurbish, renew but I also had to make the repairs. Try calling a plumber when it is -30 in the winter, in Alaska, on a Sunday because your hot water tank busted in the middle of the night (not cheap).
I rent now. I am happy with renting. I have had the flexibility to travel the country, have had good and bad landlords and have had no issues from people finding out that I rent as opposed to own.
couldn't agree more - why would anyone want to put themselves (further) into debt only for the privilege of giving the world the illusion of owning a house? You have to maintain that house, repair it or pay for the repairs, mortgage your life savings away just to keep afloat... who needs that kind of nightmare??
We rent and we will most likely continue renting - something is broken? Call the super or landlord and let them deal with the costs of having the plumbing fixed! :P
Sounds like you need new friends. What group of people suddenly make it all awkward for the rest of the afternoon when you say you rent? Who cares? Especially with the housing bust since 2007? I've owned houses since I was 23, but largely because my husband is a contractor and we make good investments in buying fixer uppers, living in them for a few years, renovating and then selling for profit. Our current house is the one we plan to stay in and our financial plan is to have it completely paid off in 5 years. We're in our mid-30's but most of our friends rent and no one things anything of it.
Happily renting, married mother of 3, right here!! I have been in that exact same situation. I may be the only renting mom at pre-school pick up, but I love our apartment, neighborhood, and feel really lucky to be here. We almost bought a couple of years ago, and looking at how underwater our friends that did buy at the time are, so glad we didn't.
We will someday. I suppose.
When we sold our house to a couple of first time homebuyers, we ran into their real estate agent about 7 months later. He told us that they had contacted him to get our phone number because the water heater when out. He did indicate that they finally grasped the concept that it was their responsiblity to replace it - not ours.. And these weren't a couple of young kids, they were in the late 30's, but had always had military housing or rented.
I don't know if it's the same in the US/Canada, but here in Oz experts say that if you invest the same amount of money in the stockmarket as you would a house you WILL be much better off.
I expect it comes from not having to make expensive repairs etc. That said we also aren't able to make significant changes to a rental property like it seems other countries do. Happy with renting for now
This is a really location-specific cultural norm. I grew up in an NYC rental apartment (Mitchell-Lama!) and would be completely fine with renting for the rest of my life!
Gotta love people who become shocked when you deviate from the social norm. We're entering our third year of renting, and yes, that's how long we've been out of school and married. But looking at the housing market, our savings rate, and living costs, we're really happy renting and plan to continue for at least the near future.
The pros: cheaper than a monthly mortgage payment, no maintenance costs, no repair costs, not even lawn maintenance! On the downside, I'd like a little more privacy and a bigger, private yard with room to breathe, but there are workarounds for that.
All in all, it'd be great if people would re-think cost of living and stop viewing renting as a horrible choice . Debt is not your friend, people. If you can't afford it, don't buy it. Period.
I save 1500 a month owning rather than renting; this does not include the tax deductions. Everyone is different. I don't judge others for for renting. It's just a decision one has to make to fit into their lifestyle and goals.
Hear, hear!
We own a house and a rental house. Frankly I'd rather be renting and able to get out if necessary.
My husband wants to purchase a home so badly, and while I do also wish to eventually become a home owner, I can't help but feel this enormous weight whenever I really think about it. What if the air conditioning unit goes up? What if the hot water heater bursts? What if we find mold in the basement? We're responsible for everything, and honestly, I feel like we have enough on our plate with a sixy-five pound pup, a cat and a four month old. And bad neighbors... if you're renting you always have the option to pay two months rent and get out of dodge. When you own a home it isn't so easy. I love the idea of having a place that can be changed exactly to our liking, a place where we can have another big stupid dog, a place where our daughter can grow up and bring her children when we're old and gray. It all sounds so nice, but I always have this thick black cloud of indecision and responsibility looming over my head.
DON'T ANYONE BE PRESSURED INTO BUYING!!!!! Puff, puff, whew....got that one off of my chest. I am the owner of three houses, one I live in, one my sister lives in and one I bought in an attempt to pay the bills. And no, this is not sour grapes from someone who is upside down on a mortgage or got caught in the real estate crash. My houses are worth twice the value of my outstanding loans. I am not against home ownership. I am against blundering into it without thinking or worse, buying the hype like I did, that it in some way will increase your worth or make you more secure. Reality check time. If you have a mortgage, you do not own that house except on paper. The bank owns it and you are allowed to live there until you pay it off. Your name on the deed is largely a legal courtesy. The moment you sign a mortgage, you will have to look up to see bottom. You are in a hole that you can not easily get out of and you have shut off many of your life choices. Want to relocate? Tough. Unless you can dredge up a buyer, you're on the hook and staying right where you are. Fantastic job offer in another state? Family circumstances changed and you need to move closer to relatives for their sake or your own? Same as above. Want to start your own business? Whooo....hold on, not with that huge monthly payment due. It's not likely that you can afford to take that risk. Feel good to stop working for a bit to get yourself together? Fat chance. Quitting your job to go back to school? Probably not possible. Cutting back your hours to go to school part time? Better hope that there's a program within commuting distance, because you're not going anywhere. Want to take that dreamed of year off? Have a yen to really travel beyond a quickie two week vacation? You get the picture. I'm a 57 year old woman. I've lost one job and have patched together a living out of free lance teaching. I work like a dog to keep my head above water. Most of my salary goes to servicing my loans. And if I didn't have these loans? I'd be making enough to be really comfortable with enough of a surplus to put a good deal away for retirement. I'd have enough to indulge my passion for travel, take time off to enroll in overseas language or cooking courses. With even my modest salary worlds of possibilities would be open to me. But as it is, I'm looking up from this hole trying to see bottom. So consider the possibilities you are giving up before you sign on that dotted line. If you do buy, my advice is to not be swayed by trendy neighborhoods and to buy much less than you can afford so that you have some wriggle room in your budget. Buy small, as small as you can comfortably live with. If your friends are only impressed by fashionable addresses, spanking new houses or McMansions, then you need a new class of friends. The biggest lie of home ownership is that the value of your home will increase and you'll be financially better off with more money if you decide to sell. This is based on faulty math. Sure, Grandpa bought his house for $45,000 in 1950 and just sold it for $350,000. He made a ton of money, right? Wrong! A shocking number of people are duped by not factoring in inflation. As a really (really) rough estimate, the dollar loses about half of it's value every 20 years or so. That's why a loaf of bread that used to cost $0.25 can now costs $2.00. So factoring in inflation, Grandpa actually fell about $10,000 short of breaking even. So no, it is not your path to riches or even security. It can be a wise move if you look at all of the opportunities that you are closing off and decide that they don't matter and looking at the risks you're taking (job loss has come out of the shadows of shame to be exposed as the frequent reality that it's been for years) and have a game plan for getting around them (hoping for the best is not a game plan) then it can be a good move. Just don't go into it looking for financial security or worse, some kind of elitist respectability. So, have my houses made me more secure? Perhaps. Maybe or maybe not. What I am sure about is that if this is security, I've paid much too high a price for it. At 57, the prospect of hanging on and fighting day to day just so that I can have these houses later in life as some sort of security blanket is a horrible deal. I'll never get these years as a wage slave back again. I'd rather have my freedom.
I get this too--and mostly from my parents. I'm not 100% sure I will live in this area for the next 30 years (long enough to pay off a mortgage), I have no children (by choice), and I'm much happier renting! I will eventually own a home when my parents pass on. I'm not in a hurry for that. And I've seen the responsibilities of home ownership--no thank you! Why encumber and limit myself? I'm a young professional in my mid 30s, but I wouldn't say I'm settled in or that I have a stable career yet. It's not worth the financial risk to me. It surprised me to hear how often the childless choice got mentioned in here too. There are still social stigmas to not following the herd and getting married, buying a home, and having children. Instead, I'm a scientist. I like to think I have other things to contribute to the world, and my choice and decision to rent is far more practical for me.
How is it anyone's business whether you own or rent? How rude of your friends, and anyone else who would make similar statements. What you do with your money, and how you live is your concern. How utterly obnoxious!
We rented for one year before we realized that we'd pay the same amount per month on a mortgage as we would on rent, so I'd rather have something to show for it on the other side. Plus, I wanted to be free to wreck it if I want. ; ) On the other hand, I admit I'm jealous of some of my friends who can (and do) just drop everything and move to a new city. I don't really want to move, but their ability to throw everything away and start over seems really cool to me.
I live in New Zealand and there the pressure to own is even MORE intense! I felt like an utter failure still renting at 30. we have bought now, and while I like the feeling of OWNING something and being able to make changes (except we cant afford to make changes!) I am also overwhelmed sometimes by the debt we are now into. Renting somehow seemed less complicated. We could just leave if situations changed or opportunities came up. And it wasn't our responsibility to check out that weird nose or mystery leak. We may have still been living paycheck to paycheck at times but at least we didn't owe anybody anything. I love owning. But I loved renting too and there is nothing wrong with that :)
I think buying a house is great if you want the freedom to do whatever you want with your space and maintain control of the property. Or, most importantly, if that's what you want to do. I think a lot of people who do have a "problem" with renting have completely fed into the concept that a home is a great investment and renting is throwing your money away. Homes are not great investments. A great investment is something that you put a minimal amount of money into and in turn receive a significant amount of money back. As we all know, that is not usually the case when buying a house. A house is something you put a lot of money into and it provides you with a place to live. And if that's what you want, that's awesome. Like a lot of other commenters have said, you are buying security (sort of) and something to treasure (which is not a bad thing at all). But it certainly isn't a great "investment". And as far as "throwing away" money while renting, I've been a renter since I moved out of my mom's house over 10 years ago and don't regret a day of it. When I wanted to move across the country, all I had to do was call my landlord and let him know when I'd be moving out. When my hot water heater, air conditioner, dryer, refrigerator, bathroom light, whatever other things in my various rentals over the years broke, I just called my landlord and then it was fixed. For free. I consider rent money well spent.
I just sold my house that we scrimped and saved for YEARS to buy - and then found that with mortgage payments and general upkeep, we couldn't really afford the renovation projects that we envisioned when we bought it. So after years of living in that house, we had only made minor changes (or the major ones that we had to make but can't brag about, like patching the huge hole in the wall in the kitchen that was there when we moved in) that didn't increase the resale value of our house. Now I rent, I call the landlord when there's a problem, and I pay half as much as my mortgage. I felt pressured to buy a house by my in-laws, and while I loved my house, in Southern California, it's not always a good fiscal decision.
Beautifully said. Thank you. :- )
I hear you! My husband and I have two jobs, two kids (and another one on the way), and we are happy renters--the only renters among our cohort. I'm sure our friends wonder at the fact that we are still renting, although they, at least, have been very polite never to hint at it. But my husband and I just don't feel buying would be a good option for our family at this time--even if everyone else is doing it.
The market where we live is over-priced and due for a correction. The housing stock in our town is poor. And we just don't have enough money at this point to buy the kind of house we want.
But, you know what? We can definitely *rent* the kind of house we want, and not lose sleep worrying about the leaky basement, the state of the market, or if we can afford a hefty mortgage. We also want the freedom to shift careers or change cities if we choose. So, for us, renting = freedom.
There is a huge stigma in the UK attached to renting in part because it is equated with being in Council housing which is owned by the local council, in the late 80's early 90's there was a huge push towards "Right to buy" which has resulted in low housing stocks for those in need (in these harsh times A LOT of families)
This has also pushed private rent prices up hugely which is the other issue. I am one of the very lucky ones guaranteed a rented home for life unless I suddenly start earning a good wage. I would not be able to afford to live reasonably if I didn't rent this flat/apartment, particularly in Cambridge (UK) I refuse to feel bad about not buying in a city where the average house price is £340,000!
It's the same here in the UK: a mortgage = the Holy Grail. Well we're selling our house at the moment and moving into rented - even though we have a six-month-old.
Fact is, we're not sure yet where we want to be geographically so why tie ourselves down? We're also starting out with new business ideas. There's enough to deal with.
I've owned and rented in the past and have to say, my absolute favourite home was rented. It was quirky, dated and lacking some mod cons. I was very, very happy there :)
Owning a home is a way of believing we have some kind of permanence here on planet earth. Whether we own or rent we are only passing through. Even if you 'own' your own home you don't get to take it with you when you leave! 'Ownership' is just another form of renting - and we certainly shouldn't be looking down at those who decide to 'rent'. The important things in life? Family. Friends. Interests. Passions These are the things we should be concerning about; these are the things we should be discussing at dinner parties and at the school gates. Read The Little Prince. Don't ask 'what does your friend do?' 'What does he earn?' Instead ask, 'What colour is his hair?', 'What is his favourite colour?'
In our area, rent can be just as expensive as a house payment. I certainly don't have a problem with anyone renting, but I'm looking forward to having my house paid for and not having that expense when I retire. If you live in an area that rent is much cheaper than a mortgage payment and are saving up funds for housing at retirement, then renting makes sense. In the area we live in, it just doesn't.
As somebody else mentioned before, in Switzerland its completly normal to rent instead of own.
What I also find funny, on aparmtenttheraphy or other American blogs whenever somebody does something to his house, so many people seem concerned with the resale value. Why own your home when you're already thinking about moving out? Why buy a house when you still want do what you want but instead worry about the likes and dislikes of an imaginary future buyer?
We rent too - and we have four kids! I've gotten the same reaction - we like the freedom of renting. Right now we rent a home that is directly behind our children's school - so they go out our back gate and up the school steps. Even if the dreamiest house came on the market, it would be difficult to give up the freedom and convenience of our current set-up!
*I love the table!*
Are those just saw table legs from HD or Lowes?
Whether you buy a house or rent, have kids or not, marry or not... they are all just such personal life decisions. I feel the same way when people at parties hound me about my "career". Do what works, and makes you happy, and whatever it is do it well! It sounds like those people needed to validate some of their own decisions and took some of their feelings of inadequacy out on you.
That being said, I do own my own home... because I couldn't afford to rent in the suburb I am in and needed to be close to my family since I was a single mom! Everyone's story is different, that's what makes people beautiful.
God. Children's birthdays parties and the parents. That's one thing I will never miss now that our son is grown up. Blah-
There are so many great reactions in the comments, it's hard to add anything new! I am a single professional with a great job and have managed to save a lot of extra dimes over the years. I always tell my bf it's so I can buy him a house one day, but it makes me feel funny knowing all of my money I saved my whole life will go into something that will prevent me from traveling and keep me rooted. (I do not have a commitment issue!) Many of my friends own homes and always tell me I should make an investment, but they seem to be spending more of their money repairing their homes than anything. Where I live now might not be mine, but it sure feels like home and I don't have to choose between a rug and a water heater!
Yep, it's all contingent on what works best for you and your family. It's actually cheaper to own than to rent where I live, especially if you want to be in a good public school district. That's obviously not the case everywhere. I agree with the PP though about being sure you have enough savings to carry you long term in case you do lose a job so you're not trapped by a mortgage.
Funny, I hate saying I own. Everytime I say 'my condo' I cringe. Mostly I say home or apartment.
We rent and we're more than "okay" with that -- we love it. There just are no downsides to our current situation: our landlords are lovely, our location is perfect, the unit is private and charming and the perfect size. Anytime something goes wrong, big or small, it gets fixed quickly and without any hassel. We have free license to decorate the place to our tastes.
And for the money, there's no way we could buy what we have now for less than we're paying. I do keep my eye on the Chicago condo/house market, but even at its low point, renting in our neighborhood was always cheaper. Now that the market is picking up, renting is so much cheaper!
I just bought a house; closed on June 1, 2012. And I LOVE it. For me, I just HATED apartment living (sharing walls, feeling the loud music in my apartment, etc). I bought a newly renovated house -- new carpet, paint, bathroom, kitchen, fence, shutters, roof, windows -- so I haven't had any major issues with the house. For me, owning just made sense. I pay less than what I was when I was renting. I am SO much happier that I don't share walls with anyone.
I think the idea of "home ownership" is a bit of a myth in some respects. Most homeowners act like renters in that they don't have the time or skills to maintain, clean, repair, or remodel their home, so they hire people to do these tasks -- just like a renter who calls on a landlord.
I tell everyone I know to make sure they are prepared for the responsibility of homeownership if they are considering it. You think it's cheaper when you compare the mortgage payment to comparable rents, but you have to include the property taxes, insurance, and a budget for maintenance into the equation. And if don't plan to stay put for a few years, selling your place can be a pain and will not always pay you dividends.
I do own my place, and I am lucky because it really is much cheaper than renting and it's in the perfect location for me, but I feel bad for anyone looking buy property in my neighborhood right now because housing prices around Boston have increased 25% in the past 7 years, and what used to be affordable is no longer.
I don't understand the type of people in this world who insist on creating artificial divisions in society based on the dumbest possible things: cat vs. dog owners, married vs. unmarried, cake vs. pie, home owners vs. renters.
Seriously, who the hell cares? I don't ever insult renters, and I expect to likewise not be insulted for owning my home (especially after 10 years of renting myself). You need to distance yourself from people who behave this way, and if you display these characteristics yourself maybe take a long hard look at the type of person you've become.
You are hilarious - this actually made me laugh out loud.
So sorry you got that reaction from your social circle. Everyone needs to make their own decision about renting vs. buying- it's impossible to make broad prescriptions and assumptions about what makes the most sense for any particular person. Sounds like kind of a snobby crowd!
This post is making me re-think all the 'congratulations' I got when I bought my first house. New homeowners are (hopefully) just doing what makes sense for them, and renters are (hopefully) just doing what makes sense for them. No congratulations necessary (or maybe congratulations for home-buying AND lease-signing!).
I love renting, personally, and am in no way ashamed of it or embarrassed by it.
No way I could afford real estate in southern CA unless I bought in a very shady part of town (and/or wanted to live "house broke" for years.) Plus, I hear quite a lot of gripes from my home-owning friends about rising property taxes, costly repairs and conflicts with new neighbors. No thank you.
If I don't like where I live, I pick up and move. Generally, though, if I love a unit, I'll stay for many years. I may not have the equity my friends enjoy, but I have freedom they envy the minute their washer/dryer breaks, walls crack or pipes fail.
I rent and am allowed to paint the walls if I ever feel like it. I have a balcony and a deck I can use for gardening or just enjoying the magnificent view from this high rise apt. Many have mentioned the free handyman type jobs, none of which I ever have a desire to do.
Having chosen a luxury high rise, I'm told I could pay MUCH less for a 2 bedroom apartment by people. (not that I asked for advice) I know that, but I'm paying for services lie:
package delivery to my door, and in the case of groceries, to my kitchen. (for when I'm unable to get out due to weather or illness
plant watering and cat care when I'm out of town
free gift wrapping (which my arthritic hands appreciate)
discount tickets on many cultural events in walking distance along the skyway.
a common indoor area for hosting large gatherings or just relaxing in a lovely chair with no home chores calling my name
a restaurant style kitchen to use for caterers, or to warm up potluck meals at a gathering
the common indoor and outdoor areas are on the 10th floor with 360 degree views
outside is a real pool, hot tub, outdoor kitchen with bar and chairs, two lounge areas (one with a fire pit) and a blue ray projection booth to show movies under the stars
And it's so vevy quiet with its concrete walls and quirky architecture that made sure no bedrooms shared walls with the noisy parts of other apartments.
I see no reason to leave as along as I can afford it. And if/when I can't, I will have had a glorious decade or two and can leave without owing a bank.
This drives me batty. We rent, we love where we live, we can move wherever and whenever we want, we don't sweat repairs and we are in our forties and have two children. We do not require sympathy. We are smart and happy thankyouverymuch.
I could not agree more, Mary! I live in NYC...and the majority of my friends ask me all of the time, "you're single and make a great salary, why are you renting and not trying to find something". My answer to them, I'm paying for my convenience. Although I'd definitely be able to find at least a one-bedroom apartment in the city, now, through Bloomberg's lottery systems based on your salary bracket--I don't want to. And for the same reasons as you: I'm not interested in the burden that comes along with a newly purchased home (condo/coop), and I'm not interested in paying into something that ultimately will not really be mine 100%.
And I could move to Jersey or the suburbs of NYC (Westchester, etc.), but that defeats the purpose of having the city at my disposal. So, yes, all that to say, I agree 100%
Yes! Thank you for this.
I really enjoyed this article. It makes so much sense--and unfortunately, there are a lot of people who have the negative reaction to those who choose to rent vs. purchase.
It's the same as those who choose to lease rather than finance a car. The leasers get the luxury of changing models with every few years, but also have the worry of not being able to drive the car they're paying for the way they would like. And buyers have to worry about a depreciating purchase, but have the reassurance that there are no restrictions.
At the end of the day, different strokes for different folks, and there is no one way to go about this topic. The only way is the right way for YOU and your family's lifestyle and respective needs at that moment in time.
As long as your blessed enough to be able to pay to maintain a decent space in any dwelling, whether your paying a rent or a mortgage, there should be no debate...
It is a personal choice, and I don't think it was right for the parents to suddenly "turn" on you - it's your life, not theirs. And it has no bearing on their life.
That being said. I own, and couldn't wait to do so. Growing up, I was indoctrinated with the fact that my grandparents rented their whole lives, and when my grandmother was in her sixties she had nothing to show for it. Conversely, my parents bought when they got married, paid it off well before the 30 years was up, and used the equity to send me (partially) to college. And to purchase their cars (with a tax-deductible loan). And to make repairs to a family home that was damaged by Sandy.
So, yeah, it actually is a pretty good investment from where I sit. And I say that being currently unemployed. Because worst-case scenario, I can't pay my mortgage - I move in with my boyfriend or parents and rent my house out. Which I would be fortunate to be able to do, I recognize that isn't the case with everyone. But I don't see my mortgage as some "albatross."
Be happy if you are a renter. I am a 67 year old widow, stuck with a house I do not want to be responsible for and cannot repair by myself. I do have it up for sale and as soon as it sells my little dog and I will find a nice efficiency apartment to rent, with the freedom to come and go as I please. Many of my friends have already moved into apartments for the same reasons. For all of you who really want a house just be patient a little while longer,in a few more years there will be thousands of baby boomers who will be trying to get rid of their houses so they no longer have the responsibility and they will take a loss just to get out from under. I am very much looking forward to renting an apartment again, sitting by the pool and calling someone else to fix the broken whatever!
I agree--you need a new social circle. After 20 years of renting, home ownership was the way to go for me, for a whole lot of reasons. Since I have an FHA subsidized morgage,I'm paying 200/300 less per month than I'd pay for a rental in anything that wasn't a crack house. Very few landlords in my small midwestern city allow animals, & the few who do aren't going to allow 3 big dogs, 2 cats, & the perpetual service dog puppy. I work nights, & noise used to be a big problem--you can't yell at people for talking during the day.
It just depends....
Maybe you are reading too much into it. I think people are surprised because renting is very expensive, and once you have kids, your disposable income is smaller. That's all.
I think you're right about that! My parents are about your age and they recently made the same decision. They love it! Every time I talk to my dad he tells me how great it is.
It's strange because I always had this idea that you work on paying off your mortgage so that you'll own your home once you're retired, and now it seems like the first thing people do when they retire is sell the house and get an apartment. :)
To each his own. If you're ok with renting then that's cool. I personally wouldn't rent forever because of that home mortgage interest deduction and other things (I would love to have a fixer upper, I hate landlords, etc).
I rent, and I like renting, which people act like is such a weird mindset. I like not having to worry about paying for water or garbage, that I don't have to worry about paying for repairs, or paying property tax (which is no joke) or HOA fees. I also like that if I don't like my neighbors or neighborhood, or if the monthly payments get too onerous I can just move out with a minimum of hassle.
Of course owning would be nice because supposedly it's the mark of 'adulthood' (whatever) and being able to paint the walls or own a pet without asking for permission, plus the tax break (which doesn't make up for paying property tax, imo)........but I see my friends and family who own, vs those who don't, and guess which ones are the most stressed out, especially when the economy takes a downturn and everyone's worried about being laid off?
Having been screwed over with two "just needs some TLC" money-pitts, I am in heaven renting again. Perhaps we pay a little more per month than a modest mortgage, but gone are the horrible surprises like dried up wells, septic-system implosions, electrical problems, etc., etc., that cost an arm and a leg when you can least afford them. When my husband talks about buying again, I cringe. Some people just aren't meant to be homeowners. It's not an indictment, but a mere fact. The apartments where I currently live are so pleasant that couples often stay here for 15-20 YEARS! I don't blame them. When you get older, you just don't have it in you to keep up with a homestead and condos can be an iffy investment these days, with the fluctuating maintenance fees...
I thought about buying at one time, but it seemed to me like people didn't really get any further ahead. The mortgage, the repairs and maintenance costs, the taxes...the neverending litany of costs. If I need a new fridge, I get one. If the heating system breaks down or the roof leaks, it's not my financial problem.
Anyway, I never wanted to leave place I wound up calling the Treehouse (http://dodiegoldney.wordpress.com/). Nowadays I just tell people I'm waiting for it to go condo so I can buy it. :P
I thought about buying at one time, but it seemed to me like people didn't really get any further ahead. The mortgage, the repairs and maintenance costs, the taxes...the neverending litany of costs. If I need a new fridge, I get one. If the heating system breaks down or the roof leaks, it's not my financial problem.
Anyway, I never wanted to leave place I wound up calling the Treehouse (http://dodiegoldney.wordpress.com/). Nowadays I just tell people I'm waiting for it to go condo so I can buy it. :P
It always drives me nuts when people say that renting is "throwing money away." Buying a place may be a better long term investment but you're certainly getting something in return (a roof over your head!) and, as many folks have pointed out, renting simply works better for a lot of people.
Off topic completely....I have that same rug! I like it a lot but have had it for a few years and it's STILL shedding. Not sure if this picture was from someone who had the rug but if so, how do you clean it and is yours still shedding?
These very same people probably lease their cars and see nothing ironic about that.
It never ceases to amaze me how many educated people who think they are sophisticated have either scorn or pity (or both) for people who don't make the same life choices they did.
Great post, by the way. Thanks.
There are probably strict laws in Switzerland that prevent rental buildings from being knocked down to be replaced by condo towers. There are no such safeguards where I live in Canada. Or, a tenant may be renting a condominium (or entire house) only to find that it is about to be sold, or the landlord wants to move in, which is their right. So the only security is to mortgage yourself to the hilt and buy a place of your own.
We have 2 children and our landlord has decided to put our rental up for sale this year. We need to move and this means our children will be likely need to change schools/towns. With children, it's nice to remove this type of uncertainty by buying your home, so you can decide to stay. We're finding our landlord's decision heart-wrenching and if any of your friends with kids have gone through this, I'm sure that where part of their "concern" is coming from.
We have 2 children and our landlord has decided to put our rental up for sale this year. We need to move and this means our children will be likely need to change schools/towns. With children, it's nice to remove this type of uncertainty by buying your home, so you can decide to stay. We're finding our landlord's decision heart-wrenching and if any of your friends with kids have gone through this, I'm sure that where part of their "concern" is coming from.
Excellent article! It's okay to not sign a piece of paper that says your home is partially yours, and partially a bank's for the next XX years. Renting is good for some, better for others, and just awful for a good chunk. To each their own!
hear hear - I'm now a homeowner yet miss the freedom of renting and moving on when I feel like it.
You sound like the coolest person at the party - mimosas and all. Wish I saw more people like you at the four year old parties I attend! One of the main things I've discovered since having my children is that people (mainly other parents) judge others by perceived milestones (intentionally or unintentionally, who really knows?), and if you haven't got all your bases covered (house, the right school, the car you're shepherding said kids around in etc) then you never quite fit in - which is why you'll often find me out in the garden with the resident cocker spaniel, sharing my cupcake. And gladly, too.
In the current financial climate - particularly in countries where being able to afford a home is a difficult enough task in the fist place (such as in the U.K. where I am located) it seems to me that one of the most important things which anyone can learn - for the sake of their own satisfaction and wellbeing, is how best to adapt a rented property to their own vision of an "ideal home" as opposed to deferring that satisfaction until one day becoming a homeowner.
Good article.
I'm all for renting OR buying, depending on your situation, but I wanted to push back a little bit on the "if something breaks, I just call the landlord and it's great!" statements above. You must have better landlords than I've ever had- mine often dragged their feet for weeks and then applied the quickest, cheapest solution. I was motivated to buy in part by a few 'last straw' experiences with landlords (I have a really disgusting story involving mouse poison if you ever want to hear it!).
I may be paying for my own maintenance now, but at least I know I'll get things done the way I want them done. Contractors can be a whole other headache, I'm sure, but so far I've gotten much better results and less stress paying for my own repairs and improvements.
Wow! This generated a lot of comments. Ultimately, affordability aside, many people still prefer to own and much of it is cultural/psychological. I have rented and owned and prefer ownership - I always felt that I was "borrowing" a key element of my life when I rented - my dwelling is integral to my sense of self and well being and I want to own it - like a blankie!
Thank goodness I found this post! I am from the US and currently live as an expat with my husband, three children and chihuahua in the Middle East. The one thing I like about living here vs the US, is that everyone rents! Well, not the locals, but we are part of a population of 700,000 and 70% of us are expats and we all rent and it does not sound weird to anyone because we all have to. Sigh....but in the US we always felt like someone thought we were poor or I do not know just not part of the group. We did not buy a home during our 16 years of marriage because we move a lot for my husbands job and we just have not figured out where we will end up. Truly crazy this idea of you have to own a home to me part of some elite group at a school or otherwise the parents just do not feel comfortable with their child coming to your apartment home. Since being here in the Middle East I have started to blog on this subject to stay creative and to also say hey....you can make any place home even if you do not own it!
Thank you Thank you Thank you for writing this post,
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@leapkate, we are (fraternal?) twins. I'm also unmarried, with no children, and don't really care for any competitive sports. I do like coffee, and I am attempting to buy a house at the moment, but as a single woman in her late 20s, the first comment I get from most people is "do you really want to buy when you're unattached? What's going to happen to your house when you get married?" As if all potential mates already own homes that are better than mine will be (unlikely) and will force me to sell my perfect house just to be with them (impossible).
People are just jerks.
Add another vote to the THANK YOU YES column. With interest rates and condo prices as low as they've been the last few years, I do the math every few months. But I want to live in the city, so I'd be buying a condo, not a house. Which means that as low as my mortgage payment might be compared to my rent, the association fee changes the entire calculation. I rent an apartment I love for under $1000/month, and in condo buildings I look at, the monthly HOA is roughly $500-600. THAT feels like throwing money away, essentially paying rent on a place that I would supposedly already own.
I grew up in a family where my parents paid off their mortgage when they found out they were pregnant with their first child (me), and they still live in that same house 40 years later. That would be nice, and that's the imprint I got about what responsible borrowing is. Nothing even close to that is possible in my life, but I like the other things in my life that create that situation (living in a more expensive city, quitting a high-paying career that made me crazy), so if renting is the trade-off, I'm fine with that.
I sold my house in Brussels to move to the country side. I was planning to rent a house to live in with my teenagers, and invest in an apartment in Brussels city for later (I could buy without a mortgage). Under the pressure of my mother, I bought another house, with another mortgage, and more renovations. The house ended up being a bad investment because of hidden problems. I have been regretting every day for the past 2 years that I bought this house. The worries are seriously affecting my health. I wish I had a hassle free rental. A?d that's what it will be when I manage to sell this place.
I totally relate to this post! I constantly am asked when I'm going to buy a house because people know I'm not poor. I have no interest in having the responsibility of home ownership at this point in my life. I also don't think that buying a home necessarily nets you a huge financial windfall over renting.
I'm so glad this article was posted. For us, financially having an apartment makes sense. Maybe one day we will have a house but I don't want to kill myself getting one just because "everyone' has one. Apartment living for me allows me to enjoy my life without having to spend every weekend at Home Depot trying to fix up my house or getting yard work done. It's challenging at times but I've never regretted renting, with the exception of renting a house that wasn't maintained well by the landlord. I find comfort in having others around me even if I don't know all of them. It's nice to be able to spend your weekends outside, with family, & decorating the apartment without having to worry about spending a TON of money updating and maintaining a house. I don't believe anyone should ever make you feel bad for your choice. It's your life, live it the way you want and the way you are comfortable!
I WISH I was renting! Because then we wouldn't be STUCK here, with the housing market the way it is.
I get the same kind of sympathy when people hear we own a condo instead of a house. "Don't you want a backyard where your kids can run around?" Of course that would be lovely. But unless they're going to give me $50,000 to get out of our underwater mortgage and buy something else, I'm going to accept where I am. And I wish they would too.
I WISH I was renting! Because then we wouldn't be STUCK here, with the housing market the way it is.
I get the same kind of sympathy when people hear we own a condo instead of a house. "Don't you want a backyard where your kids can run around?" Of course that would be lovely. But unless they're going to give me $50,000 to get out of our underwater mortgage and buy something else, I'm going to accept where I am. And I wish they would too.
I ready about 50% of the comments and by the time I read abut 50% of LaVera's rant I had enough. My point of view is this, if you want to rent and live in a city where you can afford to rent then do so. I live in NYC where it's cheaper to buy than to rent. I could rent a studio apartment that is 300sqft for $1250 OR I could buy a 600sqft apartment and my mortgage with hoa's for about $1000 or even less. I've rented for many years, and now I am shopping around to buy. I like knowing that I have a place that I can call my own that I can go back to if I leave the country, or state. I like the flexibility that comes with renting, but hate the idea that if this fantastic job offer that everyone is talking about you have to shell out 2x rent to leave. I also like the idea of renting out my apartment if I decide to move out of town and making a profit off of it. My goal isn't to get rich, but make some money. Im all about living unconventionally.
I totally agree that there are advantages to renting, and that home ownership is not the best fit for everyone.
But ... wow! I've read half of the comments and I am quite surprised that so many people are totally unaware of Economics 101. In financial terms, renting and owning can't be too far from each other, because the markets won't allow it. Any major difference is an opportunity for profit that will soon disappear. If house prices are going up and you think it's cheaper to rent- guess what? The rent will increase too, sooner or later, and you'll have to deal with it. If you enjoy renting because the owner provides maintenance, guess what? It's all factored in, your rent pays for it. Same for property taxes, etc. Plus, when you rent and the owner wants to sell you don't have much of a say. That doesn't mean home ownership is ideal though.
Another big mistake is to compare apples and oranges. Often the only reason why mortgage payments are higher than rent is because people compare the rent on their 800 SF apartment with the mortgage payments on the they would like to buy which happens to be twice as big, or in a different location, etc. In reality, if you were to buy the same unit you are renting, the mortgage payments would quite be similar (except rent control cities, but there are other problems there).
In the end, both renting and ownership have advantages and disadvantages. What's best for you may not be best for me, and that's fine. Renting provides flexibility, it may be (temporarily) more affordable, but you need to pay forever. Ownership provides the security of knowing how much you need to pay and for how long before you're done, but it's also risky if house prices fluctuate a lot.
I've owned 3 properties and am currently a renter. I've made crazy money on selling my first place, a condo in LA, then we broke even on a place in Austin, TX, and we did a short-sale 2 years ago - back in LA. The LA market is in bubble land again, so I have no desire to buy - got caught on the wrong end of the last one by buying a bigger, more expensive, but supercool townhouse, for more than I wanted to spend. We've been in 1 bedroom rentals for 2+ years now and I prefer it- white walls and all! We're moving closer to the beach in a month, but we're already talking about moving Downtown in a year or 2-- my husband works there and I'm planning to go to graduate school at CSU. We're going to look for a weekend home in Palm Springs this summer, and we want to do a 10yr mortgage. Having a 20-30 yr mortgage means the bank owns your home, not you!
I've owned 3 properties and am currently a renter. I've made crazy money on selling my first place, a condo in LA, then we broke even on a place in Austin, TX, and we did a short-sale 2 years ago - back in LA. The LA market is in bubble land again, so I have no desire to buy - got caught on the wrong end of the last one by buying a bigger, more expensive, but supercool townhouse, for more than I wanted to spend. We've been in 1 bedroom rentals for 2+ years now and I prefer it- white walls and all! We're moving closer to the beach in a month, but we're already talking about moving Downtown in a year or 2-- my husband works there and I'm planning to go to graduate school at CSU. We're going to look for a weekend home in Palm Springs this summer, and we want to do a 10yr mortgage. Having a 20-30 yr mortgage means the bank owns your home, not you!
I'm a renter and proud of it. As my name says.......
I'm a renter and proud of it. As my name says.......
I get that monthly rent can sometimes equal a monthly mortgage payment, but I do not agree that owning is less expensive. People tell me I should buy a house all the time, but where I live, any house in an area you'd want to live is around $400,000 (even foreclosures are 350k, I am not kidding). You'd need AT LEAST 40k just for the down payment (probably more), plus closing costs, and an extra 10k for that first problem that always comes up (new roof, new boiler, new driveway, you know what I mean).
I started a decent job last year after living hand-to-mouth as a grad student for 6 years. Believe me, I'm lucky I got through those years without taking out more loans on top of my college loans, but I sure wasn't saving any money. Someone please tell me how I am supposed to scrape together 40k for a downpayment. My solution is to rent a nice enough place, but keep it low enough to save money. I've been able to save about 2k a month since I've had this job, but it will be a long time before I can buy anything.
One thing that seems to be the white elephant in the room here is how much house do you need? Should one mortgage themselves to the hilt to buy a super sized house? No, for most it's way too much house.
Think modest, a 2-3 bedroom home that is no more than 1500 or so Sq Ft, and chances are, its MUCH more affordable than some of these monstrosities that are out there that people think they need, when in fact, they don't.
It may be that many haven't come to their senses about buying such a home, and lease their Bimmers or whatever, no wonder many are in over their heads in debt.
One thing that seems to be the white elephant in the room here is how much house do you need? Should one mortgage themselves to the hilt to buy a super sized house? No, for most it's way too much house.
Think modest, a 2-3 bedroom home that is no more than 1500 or so Sq Ft, and chances are, its MUCH more affordable than some of these monstrosities that are out there that people think they need, when in fact, they don't.
It may be that many haven't come to their senses about buying such a home, and lease their Bimmers or whatever, no wonder many are in over their heads in debt.
That said, if I could, I'd buy a small, vintage home and fix it up and have a little yard to putz around in and I'd be happy, failing a small house, a condo, or loft and if it has outdoor space, great (even if roof top) would suit me fine, not a huge McMansion, just for me to rattle around in.
Hear hear! I was mugged in front of a house I was renting several months ago. I loved that house, and I even liked that area of town, but suddently I didn't feel very safe living there anymore. I had the freedom of moving to a safer neighborhood when my lease ended-- many of my friends who had bought in that neighborhood don't have that freedom, no matter what crime may take place nearby. For me, that's exactly what renting means-- freedom. If I want to move to another country next year, I have that luxury without the hassle of having to find a buyer. I'll bet those party-goers were less stunned than they were covertly jealous of your freedom.
Hear hear.
I was an owner for eight years...or made mortgage payments, I should say. I'm a renter now, by choice. There are (dis)advantages to both but far fewer as a renter in my experience.
Hear hear.
I was an owner for eight years...or made mortgage payments, I should say. I'm a renter now, by choice. There are (dis)advantages to both but far fewer as a renter in my experience.
oh the others parents we endure for our kids!
some people value FREEDOM and maybe want to pack up our kids and live in a teepee!
Been renting ALL my adult life- over 35 tears. I own one small apartment in my home country which I never live in- I have a relative who rents it out for me to travelers. NOT owning a house allows ME to travel travel travel!!!! Sometimes when friends complain to me about their neighbors, or their crappy view, or the traffic problems in the neighborhood I say: Well, why don't you move somewhere else? If they are a renter they say "Oh, yeah, you're right! I can move!" If they are a home owner (house or condo) & they hate the neighbors who party till the break of dawn or run the lawn mower at 7 am, or let their kids/dogs tear up/defecate on their lawn & I say "Why don't you just move?" their answers are much more complicated involving real estate prices & mortgages... I have never wanted to be tied down to one place or one abode. The world is too grand & life too short to tie myself to a stake. So, renting apartments & houses is the way to go for me. As I've gotten older I've become more attached to some locales & find it harder to leave the friends I've made. BUT because I know I won't be staying in one place more than a year or two, and because I've encountered SO many different people, cultures, & lifestyles it doesn't bother me as much as it would a home OWNER if the guy next door wants to wash his car in his driveway on a Saturday afternoon wearing nothing but a pair of ratty shorts, blaring Mariachi music, & drinking a few beers while all his kids, & every other kid in the neighborhood, run through the sprinkler chasing their dogs & laughing their fool heads off while splashing mud all over the clean laundry that mom just hung out on the line. And wow! can she yell up a storm! I head on over with a pitcher of lemonade & introduce myself. For me THAT is what makes life so sweet!
35 years! (not tears) oops! still working on the spelling skillz! LOL!
In the professional world I find people think you are a kid with no commitment if you "still" rent. For a while I would let the world assume I owned a condo downtown. When I saw young people at work get themselves in financial trouble to buy that house I started talking openly about renting and why it works for me. I think it is great that we have choices and we all can come to the choice that is right for us. 10 years in an apartment with more windows than most houses. Love the view from here.
I agree....DON'T BUY UNLESS OWNING A HOME IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO YOU TO DEAL WITH TYPICAL HOMEOWNER STUFF.
Owning a house, or a kid, is not for everyone. Some of the stuff people hate about owning, and that others list as a negative for owning, are my favorite things about owning. I've been a homeowner to 4 years (bought my house at 25 because it fit my financial plan) and stll, one new roof, new kitchen, new bathroom, renovated in-law suite, and on-going backyard overhaul later, I still love it.
I have put a lot of money into my house, but it's my hobby so as long as I understand that much of the things were elective and I do them as I can afford them, it's ok. For me, buying was a no-brainer because I pay 1/2 what my peers pay renting in the same area.
I think there are plenty of misconceptions on both sides. For instance I don't get where this idea that owning a home hinders traveling. Since owning my home I've gone to Jamaica for 3 wks and will be going to Africa for 6 weeks in a few months. Perhaps if you maybe wanted to MOVE to a different country (but I don't really consider that traveling).
In my aunt's case, being a homeowner actually helped her move to a different area for a year (for free!), through house-swapping. Even if I decided I want to live in a different country (and I do plan on it), I can easily rent my house out to family, friends, or through a leasing agency.....not much different from sub-letting an apartment. I understand this may be more difficult if your home is out in east bumble-bee. Luckily I bought in a renter-friendly area and my mortgage is so redunculously low ($270/ month...and in about 5 yrs $0) that if I were going to live temporarily in a different place I'd eat the cost, or find a trustworthy person to stay there in exchange for paying for the redunculously low mortgage. Trust me, I have a line of takers. Today there are so many services and angencies available, even the local university would use it for extra/ international student housing.
So please stop saying homeownership hinders traveling. I'm ok with living in other areas, while keeping a house because I love the idea of having a homebase. No matter where I am in the world, I have my spot to go back to. I LOVE that feeling. It may not matter so much to other people, I get that, but it is not impossible or even hard to be a wunderlust homeowner. I travel more than many renters I know and for longer periods.
I just turned 40, married, no children, cats. I have rented my whole adult life. Now my rent is high enough to where I could have afforded a small house in a semi-suburban area, or an even smaller condo in the urban area where I live (Seattle) but I don't care. I know what my monthly expenses are and I like my apartment. I suppose we will buy a home at some point but I am in no hurry.
So, I realize I'm coming to this discussion 2+ months late, but I was looking through the Chicago contributors (since I live in the area) and checked-out this post of yours. First, how unfortunate and awkward that everyone felt they needed to "console" you for renting. What!? Second, we own, and I so wish we did not! I really wish we had the freedom that comes with renting. Owning is so overrated. Plus, I'm constantly hearing arguments for why owning is really not financially smarter (particularly if the value of your place plummets like ours did). Either way, I'm glad to hear that you are at peace with your decision (as you should be).
All the best!
I concur with the comment above (RoxT). I am a single mom and I bought a home. I love my home but I could have rented and loved that place too. I hate owning a home. I do. I do not have enough time in the world to take care of everything. I hired a lawn care place because wtf when will I ever cut the grass. I now am moving to the DC area and since I own, I have to rent my home out because I don't want to sit and wait until it sells. UGHHH. SO don't let the haters get you down- homeowner ship is an industry lie - terrible ROI and all the money you put in, you won't get back. :)


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Students in Biology 103 at Bryn Mawr College write web papers on topics of interest to themselves. These are made available via links from the index below to encourage further exploration by others having similar or related interests. All papers have associated on-line forums for continuing conversation.
Continuing Conversation
The Classification Problem
Taxonomists and systematists are interested in understanding evolutionary relationships between living organisms. This in turn is motivated by an interest to understand the forces and factors that influence evolution within taxa and in so doing, evolution in general.
"The quest for eternal life, or at least prolonged youthfulness, has now migrated from the outer fringes of alternative medicine to the halls of Harvard Medical School" ... Quest for a long life gains scientific respect
I wonder if the involved researchers at the Harvard Medical School and elsewhere are paying any attention to the broader implications of related research
Paul Krugman's The Politics of Spite is focused on a small issue (current Republican party practices) but speaks importantly to a much more general one, the use in politics of "scorched-earth tactics." So too with a recent news article: Another Landlord Worry: Is the Elevator Kosher? Describing a current controversy about shabbas practices, it quotes a New Yorker as saying "Just because there is one opinion doesn't mean that it is everyone's opinion. One of the wonderful things about Judaism is that there are competing opinions about everything."
Science as Open-Ended Transactional Inquiry
The Three Loops and their Implications for the Classroom
Workshop with the science faculty at Delaware Valley Friends School
Paul Grobstein
9 October 2009
Very interesting seminar last night by Guy Blaylock on the multiple worlds interpretation of quantum physics. Nice example of the principle that a given set of empirical observations is always subject to multiple interpretations, ie that there is always a perspectival or "subjective" element in scientific stories. And an interesting dissection of reasons for preferring one or another several stories, a dissection that might in turn lead to some new stories.
Narrative is determined not by a desire to narrate but by a desire to exchange. (Roland Barthes, S/Z)

subset: commoncrawl


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Multistage Stochastic Decision and Economic Processes
AbstractEconomic and social phenomena develop over time, they are mostly influenced by random factors and, moreover, it is very often necessary to evaluate them simultaneously by several "objective" functions. Multistage stochastic programming problems, control Markov chains, empirical processes as well as stochastic multiobjective problems can serve to model them. We focus to cases that can be treated by multistage stochastic programming models with Markov type of dependence.
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Volume (Year): 2005 (2005)
Issue (Month): 1 ()
Pages: 119-127
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Related researchKeywords: economic processes; multistage stochastic programming; Markov dependence;
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Etoiles de Mer 2
Villa | 2 bedrooms | sleeps 4
|Key Info
This very modern and well equipped, luxurious villa is a perfect haven of peace for those looking for a tranquil holiday. Two identical villas set side by side in a private property in a very quiet residential area.
Secluded very modern and well equipped luxurious villa set in a private garden only 10minutes walk from Trou d'Eau Douce fishing village.
|Sleeps up to 4, 2 bedrooms
|Nearest beach
|In front
|Will consider
|Corporate bookings, Long term lets (over 1 month), Short breaks (1-4 days)
|Car advised, Wheelchair users
|Nearest Amenities
|500 m
|Nearest travel links
|35 km
|Family friendly
|Great for children of all ages, Suitable for people with restricted mobility
|Pets welcome, No smoking at this property
Features and Facilities
|Internet access, DVD player, Sea view
|Air conditioning, TV, Video player, Telephone, Safe, Satellite TV, Wi-Fi available
|Kettle, Toaster, Iron
|Dishwasher, Cooker, Microwave, Fridge, Freezer, Washing machine
|2 bedrooms, 1 bathrooms of which 1 Family bathrooms
|Double beds (2), Cots (1), Dining seats for 6, Lounge seats for 6
|Linen provided, Towels provided, High chair
|Balcony or terrace, Shared garden, BBQ, Private fishing lake or river
|Wheelchair users, Secure parking
|Further details indoors
Ipod docking station
|Further details outdoors
Two identical villas are set side by side in a peaceful setting by the sea. Large lush tropical garden surrounds these villas. Superb view over the sea from the veranda of both villas.
The Mauritius East Coast/Grand Port region
The East Coast of Mauritius is the very best Mauritius has to offer, especially during the European winter ( Mauritian summer ). Trou d'Eau Douce is located on the largest lagoon in Mauritius with its turquoise waters protected by coral reefs which is ideal for wind surfing, kite surfing, water skying, snorkelling, kayaking and fishing. It is no surprise that the World famous Five Star The One & Only Touessrok Hotel and the famous luxury golf resort Anahita are just next door with other five star hotels such as Prince Maurice and Saint Geran nearby. The famous Isle aux Cerfs ( Deer Island ) Bernhard Langer Golf and beach restaurants are within 10 minutes by speedboat.
Trou D'eau Douce
Trou d'eau Douce is a charming traditional fishing village which offers all the basic shopping facilities.
Deep Sea Fishing boats, large Catamarans, speedboats for water skying and other types of boats can easily be rented for the day.
Excellent masseuses who work for the Five Star resorts can be easily booked.
Availability Your dates are available
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This holiday home hasn't got any reviews yet. The average rating on Holiday Lettings is four out of five. This place could be newly added or perhaps it's a well kept secret. Either way, it's time to reveal all.
This advert is created and maintained by the advertiser; we can only publish adverts in good faith as we don't own, manage or inspect any of the properties. We advise you to familiarise yourself with our terms of use.
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- 2 Years listed
Calendar last updated:12 Jun 2014
Based in Mauritius
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ABC Amber Excel Converter was developed to help yo
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Audio : Business : Desktop Management : Developer Tools : Drivers : Games : Graphics : Home & Education : Internet : Network Tools : Security : System Utilities : Video : Web Authoring


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Product DescriptionThe wild and crazy colors of the Rusty Goombah boardshorts are sure to turn heads this summer. Sublimated multi-colored buffalo check print features heat-transferred logo details. Double welt pocket, elastic key loop, locking drawcord, and Lycra fly closure are among the other great features. Constructed from 91% polyester/9% elastane for a comfortable 4-way stretch. 21" outseam.


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MUSKEGON COUNTY (WKZO) -- A high-profile defense attorney is behind bars at the Ottawa County Jail. Terry Nolan was taken into custody last night by members of the West Michigan Enforcement Team.
Nolan is jailed on allegations that "appear to be drug-related." Nolan has battled drug addition for years. In 2002, a crack cocaine bust cost him his law license.


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Fotoshop by Adobé from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.
Why is it so effective? Because it is not real, it is a computer program that has been used for years to alter the way real women look. These avatars have become our global standard of beauty.
(If someone wants to make a transcript of this, I will love you forever.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKz1WgyFAcw


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- Sean Neely
- Castle Rock, CO
- United States
This conversation is closed.
Debate: Video games are the drug of the century
Video games are constantly progressing towards characteristics similar to drugs. If we look at a huge point brought up in the speech mentioning how ancient "lydia" (i think) used video games to cause the people to ignore or forget about the necessities to life such as hunger. This effect is very similar to the effects of many drugs like acid which are used to dull sense of reality and enter an external world to forget the problems in reality. This is one of the many things that video games have in common within drugs.
So the debate is are video games being used for beneficial reasons like teaching values of never giving up on a mission and knowing the possibility of accomplishing important objectives. Or are video games like World of Warcraft offering an alternate world for a person to escape to and allows the creation of an avatar that reflects the person they wish to be and the existence in a world different from reality?
Please if you are arguing one side think of arguments that oppose your own point of view and offer them as well only because i would like to hear both sides and it will allow for a much better debate and allow for you to articulate your argument in more depth.
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Dec 10 2012: Drugs are usually used by individuals to alter their sense or perception of reality.
Reality being their own world.
Everyone has a lot of stress in their lives and a lot, a helluva lot, of fear.
I think the number one selling medicine in the U.S. is for anti-anxiety.
At least I know this was true about seven or eight years ago. It may have changed.
I watched very successful, apparently well-rounded mature people, who worked hard, made more than a living and ate anti-anxiety pills for sustenance.
Twiddling the thumbs was one of the first forms of denial that I recall, to wile away the monotony of daily life.
That's what life is. It is insanely monotonous, boring and prone to driving one insane.
So we humans have developed all sorts of things to get us out of it or to somehow just simply deny it to ourselves.
Next, at least for the more modern age, came smoking. A great way, and a drug, to stop thinking and focus on puffing every time one had a thought that bothered them.
The walkman, with headphones gave people another way to tune out.
As we refined and upgraded the walkman, we came up with the cell phone so that one could always and almost immediately have access to another voice that wasn't their own thinking.
It has now progressed to smart phones, with pads that allow one to flip their fingers or thumbs up and down, sideways, searching, always searching for something to take them out of themselves and their thinking.
It looks an awful lot like the twiddling of thumbs from my childhood days of poverty.
Just about everything else today is a way to (quote Roger Waters), amuse ourselves to death.
The death is mental, emotional, psychic and spiritual.
We even call them "tools" and they are, but they are very addictive tools.
Now what is dangerous is not that they are addictive, but that the general population, worldwide, now carries the predisposition to addiction, and addiction usually leads to insanity or death.
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For the last 12 years the Faison Centers of Excellence have focused on children with autism, their families and all those who touch and enrich their lives in order to provide the best environment for their development.
The Compassionate Community is the next step in the evolution of the Faison Centers of Excellence - where needs across a lifespan are addressed, excellence is the rule, public-private partnerships flourish, and our mission is realized - one young person at a time.
This visionary project will offer reasonably priced apartments and individual living plans for residents with developmental disabilities within a residential complex specifically designed to best meet their needs. Their apartments will be interspersed among apartments of professionals like teachers, nurses and others who understand their challenges and model positive life skills. For more information, please look at
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"Great job on Oncology & Hematology Review. The format is well-organized and aesthetically very pleasing. The...
Men with advanced prostate cancer are at high risk for development of bone metastases, resulting in clinically significant skeletal morbidity and severe bone pain. Studies of early-generation bisphosphonates, clodronate, and pamidronate, demonstrated transient palliative effects on bone pain in patients with bone metastases, but failed to demonstrate long-term clinical benefit. A small, open-label study of ibandronate demonstrated significant reductions in pain, but these results have not been confirmed in a larger, randomized, controlled trial. Currently, zoledronic acid is the only bisphosphonate that has demonstrated statistically significant reductions in skeletal morbidity – including durable pain reduction – in this patient population in a randomized placebocontrolled trial. Therefore, zoledronic acid therapy should be considered to prevent skeletal morbidity and improve the quality of life of prostate cancer patients with bone metastases.
Prostate cancer is one of the most common cancers affecting men worldwide.1 Current cancer statistics estimate that more than 200,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer in the US each year,2 and five-year worldwide prevalence is approaching 2.5 million cases.3 Approximately 50% of patients will experience disease recurrence after local therapy consisting of radiation or prostatectomy.4 Although advances in the treatment of prostate cancer have extended life expectancy, 65% to 75% of patients with advanced disease will develop bone metastases, resulting in accelerated bone resorption and a loss of skeletal integrity that is associated with significant skeletal morbidity, including pathologic fractures, spinal cord compression, and debilitating bone pain.5
The incidence of skeletal complications experienced by patients with metastatic prostate cancer is illustrated by the placebo group of a recent study of zoledronic acid in men with hormone-refractory prostate cancer (HRPC) and bone metastases.6,7 In this study, nearly 50% of patients receiving placebo experienced = 1 skeletal complication and 33% suffered severe bone pain requiring palliative radiotherapy. A recent study showed that these skeletal complications result in significant decreases in quality-of-life scores.8 Therefore, therapies that prevent skeletal complications and reduce bone pain could translate into improvements in quality of life.
Bisphosphonates are potent inhibitors of bone resorption that have demonstrated clinical benefit for the treatment of malignant bone disease and are the standard of care for the prevention of skeletal complications in patients with bone metastases from breast cancer.9 Several studies have evaluated the efficacy of bisphosphonates – including etidronate, clodronate, pamidronate, ibandronate, and zoledronic acid – in patients with bone metastases from prostate cancer. However, until the recent trial evaluating the efficacy of zoledronic acid in men with HRPC and bone metastases, no bisphosphonate has demonstrated statistically significant long-term reductions in skeletal morbidity or durable pain reduction in this patient population in a randomized placebo-controlled trial.6


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There is no prayer like that which comes pouring from you, you speaking to God, or letting the Spirit speak through you. That's the real stuff, the call of "Abba!" sailing to heaven like incense. Whether it's a cry of love or joy or despair or need or revelation, when it comes from the heart, it's a type of communion achieved no other way.
That having been said, I will also say that there is a place for written prayers, both the standards like the Our Father or Hail Mary, or the whisperings of a long dead saint. Maybe you feel the need to pray but haven't the words. Maybe you need a jumping off point for you own prayer. Or maybe you just want an insight into the spiritual mind of that long dead saint.
Anyway, I hope you get something from these beautiful love letters to God.
God wants to hear from you. It's why He invented prayer.
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