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This is a viewer-inspired hairstyle! Cristina emailed me with a link to a YouTube video where she wanted to show me a hairdo that she loves to do on her daughter. We viewed it, liked it, and filmed our own take on it with an added "spin" {literally}! Thanks, Cristina!
This style is different than our Rosette Bun hairstyle, as the spirals set right against the head. The Rosette Buns were essentially bantu knots, or twisty buns.
To begin this hairstyle, we decided to incorporate our Double French Twistbacks from the front that we added into a high ponytail. {We are a big fan of hairstyle combinations whenever it makes sense!} Then you simply divide the ponytail into three sections.
Take each section individually and twist them, and then roll it up into a spiral wheel {like a cinnamon roll}. Then simply bobby pin the spiral securely, and repeat the same with the other two sections.
Now, I apologize on the photos for being taken 8 hours after we did the hairstyle {we forgot}, but what you see is that this style held up quite nicely after a fairly active day for an eight-year old! To help control the flyaways, you can use hairspray (which I also forgot to do).
This hairstyle is great for girls and women of all ages, and especially perfect for weddings, communions, baptisms, flower girls, ballet, Prom, Homecoming, etc. You will also find that by sleeping on the spirals… you will have a gorgeous curled ponytail as a "2nd Day 'Do"! Enjoy!
Items Needed: Brush, rat-tail comb, spray bottle, 1 ponytail holder, 6-7 large bobby pins, hairspray.
Time Requirement: 5 minutes (15 minutes if you do the Double French Twistbacks)
Skill Level: Medium
* Note from Mindy: Don't forget to follow us on BlogLovin, a new easy-to-use blog reader!
As you know, I have been loving Pinterest lately as it allows many of my fans to @Mindy "MrsHairdo" me in their hairstyle pins so that I can have a better way to keep track of fan suggestions.
This is one that I have actually been doing on myself a lot lately, because I saw the idea online from the girls at Real Simple. I cannot tell you how many compliments I have received! Fans have been repinning the style, so I decided to film a tutorial.
What I love most about this bun hairstyle is its simplicity. You will see that it really does not take much to create this elegant hairstyle. If you accessorize a little bit , it can make a great updo for prom/homecoming, as well as a great hairstyle for communion or a flower girl in a wedding.
This style involves separating the hair into three even sections in the back, then taking each strand individually and twisting them until they twist upon each other {forming a bun}. Two of the buns you twist and pin in the same direction… the last one you twist in the opposite direction. You may even opt to twist the bangs back before creating the buns for an even more elegant look.
Securing the buns can be tricky, and you may choose to use Goody's Spin Pins for more security, but on this day we could only find bobby pins. {If you do this style on your daughter, please know that it may not hold well if she plans to be active in PE that day or during sports.}
As you can see, I also did this style on myself that day. My hair is shoulder length, with bangs, and quite layered. The style holds well for me.
Did you notice my little friend on my shoulder? If not, then look closely again! Crazy! He just flew from the flowers onto my shoulder and my husband and daughters thought it was hilarious!
Items Needed: Brush, 1 alligator clip, 10-12 bobby pins, hairspray and accessories {if desired}.
Time Requirement: 5 minutes
Skill Level: Easy
* Note from Mindy: Don't forget to follow us on BlogLovin, a new easy-to-use blog reader!Comment on this post »
It is time for another Daddy 'Do hairstyle, a style that is so easy a dad can do it!
This incorporates a high ponytail that is then separated into four equal parts. Each section is then divided again, the two strands twisted into each another tightly, then secured with a rubber band. Repeat the same for the other three sections of the ponytail.
Now we all know the above to be a Rope Braid cheat for dads. With a rope braid, you can actually tightly twist the two strands independently and then twist them around eachother, securing with a rubber band. For this tutorial, we simplified the process so that the dads are not spending 20-30 minutes on the style.
My daughter is only 11 and she does this style on herself in just a few minutes. She prodded my husband to see if he could do it, and the tutorial below was the result!
The best part for dads, is that by leaving the style in overnight… he can take out the twists the next day and have a fun curly ponytail {2nd Day 'Do}! Enjoy!
Items Needed: Rat-tail comb, brush, water bottle, 1 hairband, four clear elastics, hairspray and accessories (if desired)
Time Requirement: 5-10 minutes
Skill Level: Easy
* Note from Mindy: Don't forget to follow us on BlogLovin, a new easy-to-use blog reader!
{As awkward as it isfor my husband to film hairstyles like this, because he has big hands and is not used to doing hair all the time, it is just as awkward for me to film the tutorial! Watching back the video, I was horrified to notice that I spent more time watching my hubby do the style than watching the viewfinder on the camera! My filming was way off! Sorry!}Comment on this post »
By request, I have started to go through some of our short hairstyles that we have not yet filmed.
I have done this double twist hairstyle before in a photo tutorial, but here I decided to film it on my #4 daughter who has the short A-line bob. It is another simple way to pull the bangs back out of your face.
Although this is listed as a short hairstyle, it can be done on any length of hair. If you are concerned about flyaways… feel free to use a good pomade or fiber gum in the twists. Enjoy!
Items Needed: Rat-tail comb, 1 gator clip, one hair elastic, bobby pins, water bottle and hairspray (if desired).
Time Requirement: 5 minutes
Skill Level: Easy
* Note from Mindy: Don't forget to follow us on BlogLovin, a new easy-to-use blog reader!Comment on this post »
This hairstyle is another quick one that can be done in under three minutes. It incorporates the use of a ponytail separated into two twists that form the shape of a pretzel, and then tied off with a hairband and finished into a fun messy bun.
You will find that this twist hairstyle is perfect for pretty much any occasion, formal or not, and can be ideal for a prom or homecoming hairstyle along with some really cute accessories.
You will find that the pretzel shape will look more uniform if the twisted strands are about an inch or two shorter than the length of hair in the video.
This style works on curly hair as well, and on girls of all ages. Enjoy!
Items Needed: Rat-tail comb, water spray bottle, pomade/gel/hairspray {if desired), 2 hairbands, ribbon or accessory {if desired}
Time Requirement: 3 minutes
Skill Level: Easy
*Note from Mindy: If you notice the extra large camera in the background, that is because ABC News in NY sent a camera crew to our home for an upcoming 20/20 primetime special on YouTube that will be airing either at the end of June or in July. In all, they were at our house nearly 8 hours so it sure made for a busy day! We are not sure of the air date, but once we do… we will let you know!
* Note from Mindy: Don't forget to follow us on BlogLovin, a new easy-to-use blog reader!Comment on this post »


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Tofino Brewing Company (Brendan van Son photo)
British Columbia's breweries, cideries and distilleries are gaining a global reputation for making award-winning beer, tasty ciders, and premium sprits.
Medals from world beer championships adorn many local brews, while the Pemberton Distillery was awarded "Spirit of the Year" at the prestigious World Spirit Awards in Austria.
There are more than 50 breweries and brewpubs in BC – with Vancouver and Victoria as brewpub hotspots – along with a growing number of cideries and small-batch distilleries. As the birthplace of the 100 Mile Diet dining movement, many British Columbians embrace locally brewed products, and brewpubs often pair craft beers with west coast cuisine.
Beer festivals such as Hopscotch, the Okanagan Fest-of-Ale, the Canada Cup of Beer and the Great Canadian Beer Festival are great places to sample local specialties.
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Vancouver Coast & Mountains: The Pemberton vodka distillery, Howe Sound Brewing in Squamish, Mission Springs Brewing and Dead Frog Brewery.
Vancouver Island: Includes craft breweries in Tofino, Nanaimo and on Salt Spring Island, Merridale Cider, and vodka and gin made from botanicals grown on Hornby Island.
Kootenay Rockies: Columbia Brewing (Kokanee) in Creston and numerous craft breweries in Nelson, Fernie and Revelstoke.
Thompson Okanagan: Includes small batch ciders, fruit liqueurs from Okanagan Spirits, and beer from Tree Brewing and Crannog Ales.
Northern British Columbia: Plan B craft brewery in Smithers and the large, commercial Pacific West Brewing.
Vancouver: Includes Granville Island Brewing, Artisan Sake, Long Table Distillery and many brewpubs.
Whistler: Includes Whistler Brewing and the Brewhouse at Whistler.
Victoria: Unofficially nicknamed "the Beer Capital of Canada." Home to many brewpubs and craft breweries, Sea Cider and Merridale Cider, and Victoria Spirits.
BC beers are a far cry from generic, watery lagers. Craft brewers offer bold and flavourful ales, stouts, bitters and porters, along with inventive creations: try huckleberry wheat ale in Fernie, hoppy IPA in Kelowna, pumpkin ale in Squamish or espresso stout in Victoria.
Most breweries offer tours and sampling, and a chance to meet the brewmaster.
While BC is famous for its superb wineries, its cideries can offer a similar experience: Sprawling orchards return abundant harvests of apples, which are used to craft a selection of artisan ciders. Cideries are found on Vancouver Island and in the Thompson Okanagan region.
Stay for lunch at a cidery restaurant with scenic views, or even partake in an orchard spa treatment.
Distilleries use BC's fruit and wild botanicals to create smooth, sipping vodka, gin, fruit liqueur and even absinthe. Visit Long Table Distillery, a Vancouver micro-distillery offering premium, small-batch gin and vodka. Pick up sake in Vancouver, fruit brandies at Okanagan Spirits in Vernon or Kelowna, organic vodka at the Pemberton Distillery, and small-batch gin in Victoria.
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17 Breweries, Distilleries & Cideries in British Columbia
We are the local experts! We offer many destinations on Vancouver Island and Gulf Islands. All unique and worth the trip. From Scheduled to Reservation style options.
We depart downtown Victoria in small groups with 10 or less passengers.
Groups with reservations (any size) Most of our tours are custom designed.
Ask a local...hey that's us!
You'll sip award winning wines/ciders/ales. Feast on seasonal organic delights and explore the back-roads of the very West Coast of Canada.
Our routes include mountain vistas, ancient rain forests, country scenery, delightful local vineyards/farms and world class attractions.
New, West Coast Trail in a day with the Ditidaht First Nations.
A long day but so worth it. Bring your camera and your West Coast Spirit of Adventure. Let's Go!
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We offer a unique behind the scenes look at the wine industry in the beautiful Okanagan Valley. Tours operate daily showcasing the wonders of the local wineries. Join us to meet the local vintners, walk the vineyards, indulge in a marvellous food and wine pairing at lunch, enjoy exclusive tastings and so much more. Daily wine tours start throughout the Okanagan: Osoyoos (South), Vernon (North), Salmon Arm (Shuswap) . Pick up can be arranged from hotels, attractions, private residences or businesses. Private charters and custom wine tours can also be arranged tailored to your group's needs.
Planet Bee Honey Farm & Meadery - one of the Okanagan's favourite family attractions. You can watch live honeybees busily working behind glass performing their amazing bee dance & producing their numerous nutritional products which can enhance our health & well-being. Join us for in-season, educational presentations on honeybees & marvel at these incredible insects in the indoor glass observatory or the safe & fully screened outdoor honeybee demonstration areas. The Honey Health Boutique, offers numerous educational displays & posters with free honey tasting & a full selection of all-natural bee products; honey, pollen, propolis, Royal Jelly, beeswax & candles. And now introducing Honeymoon Mead.
Come raise a glass! Let our cider tease your senses. Try our critically-acclaimed selection of traditional fermented ciders, which we handcraft from certified organic heritage apples. Savour with an artisan lunch plate & drink in the ocean view from our majestic Ciderhouse overlooking our organic orchard. Then take a tour, browse our selection of artisan goods & learn why other apples envy ours. We are located on the Saanich Peninsula just minutes from Victoria & Sidney & close to area attractions such as Butchart Gardens, Victoria Butterfly World & more.
Enjoy the tastes and terroirs of the world of wine? Get ready to experience the unique pleasures of the wine trail less travelled.
British Columbia draws international attention for the quality and affordability of its wines while the range of options might surprise many wine lovers who have yet to experience the delights of wine tourism.
TasteFull Excursions is a Kamloops-based tour company specializing in providing wine tasting and culinary excursions centered around the varied and beautiful Thompson-Shuswap region - neighbours to the Okanagan wine country. Discover the amazing range and diversity of wines produced in the cooler climate regions of British Columbia with TasteFull Excursions.
You are just a bike ride away from feeling like a kid!
The Pedaler Bicycle Tours and Rentals provide a unique Victoria experience: lighthearted bicycle tours. Our Hoppy Hour tour showcases the craft beer culture of Victoria and includes tastings. Our Beans & Bites tour gets off the beaten track to sample locally roasted coffee, bakeries and a unique tea tasting. Castles, Hoods & Legends explores the vibrant and unique neighborhoods surrounding downtown. Our Spirits of Saanich tour pedals to rural on-premise tastings of locally crafted gin, wine and cider and includes our renowned Lochside Trail. Or rent a bike and explore on your own - our knowledgeable staff can point you in the right direction to ensure your two-wheeled adventure includes the best of Victoria.
Get to know the Vancouver craft beer scene by taking a tour with Vancouver Brewery Tours. Our fun & informative brewery tours take you behind the scenes of some of Vancouver's best craft breweries to show you how our award winning beers are made.
What's included in a Vancouver Brewery Tour? Pick up from Waterfront Station, transport to & from the breweries, three brewery visits in just over three hours, a Vancouver Brewery Tours souvenir pint glass, commemorative group photo & PLENTY of craft beer samples.
Our brewery tours happen every Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday and are perfect for locals & tourists alike. We're proud to connect you to the vibrant community that is the Vancouver craft beer scene. Visit our website for more details. Drink locally, friends!
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Tool Boxes & Cabinets and Benches
Delta Job Site Box 42" Toolbox 636990$199.97
Steel on-site chest
- Site-vault security system
- EZ-Loader caster skid bolster
- Stacked and welded steel hinges
- Heavy duty locking arms
- Bolt cutter proof locking system
- 42" x 20 x23 3/4"
- 9.3 cu. ft usable space
- Weight: 116 lbs.
- Metal is 7g where the feet are
- 14g at hinges
- 16g everywhere else
Delta, 52 Gallon L Shaped Steel Liquid Transfer Tanks (White), 482000$219.99
Product Features
- Two, 2 in. NPT reinforced bungs
- Pump can be mounted on either side of the tank
- Built-in lifting rings assist with moving an empty tank.
- Heavy-duty mounting brackets secures the tank to the truck bed.
- Lockable filler cap and coupler prevents excessive pressure build-up.
- Safety Fill Capacity: 51 Gallons
- Maximum Fill Capacity: 54 Gallons
Delta, 50 Gallon Square Steel Liquid Transfer Tank, 485000$209.99
Product Features
- Two, 2 inch reinforced bungs
- Pump can be mounted on either side of the tank.
- Built-in lifting rings assist with lifting empty tank.
- Heavy-duty mounting brackets secures the tank to the truck bed.
- Locakable filter cap and coupler prevents excessive pressure build-up.
- Safety Fill Level: 50 Gallons
- Maximum Fill Level: 55 Gallons
- Dimensions (Length x Width x Height): 23 1/4" x 24" x 23 1/4"
Dee Zee Single Wheel Well Tool Box - Driver Side DZ95$172.97
Dee Zee Tool Box - Wheel Well Box. Adds storage while leaving your bed open for hauling cargo. Constructed of strong Brite-Tread aluminum. Lockable lift-up lid on a sturdy piano hinge. Fits 6' and 8' bed pickups.
- Specialty Series Wheel Well Tool Box
- Fits Behind The Truck Wheel Well
- Driver or Passenger Side Applications Available
- Sturdy Piano Hinge Lid
- Raw Aluminum Finish
- Lockable Lift-Up Lid
- Does Not Interfere With Most Tonneaus Covers
- L: 37" x W: 7.75" x H: 19.5" ; Vol: 2.2 cu. ft.
- Made In USA
- Limited-Lifetime Warranty
Tradesman 48 in. Aluminum Side Mount Truck Box - TAL480PBBK$186.97
Product Description
Let the Tradesman 48 in. Aluminum Side-Mount Truck Box hold your tools, valuables and more. This truck box, with its push button and gas shocks, opens and closes effortlessly. It locks with a key.
- Enclosed storage for full and mid size trucks
- 0.060 Aluminum with a black finish
- Push button for easy access
- Heavy duty gas shocks for smooth open and close
- Keyed lock
Tradesman 48 in Steel Top Mount Truck Box Black - TSTM48BK$222.97
Product Description
Top mount for efficient truck bed use and easily accessible storage. Built for strength. Weather proof gaskets. Front opening protects contents from the elements. Available in several sizes to fit most trucks.
- Available in several sizes: 48", 60", 72" and 90"
- Available in White or Black finish
- Locking stainless steel flush mount T-handles provide security
- 16 gauge steel
- Paints are electrostatically applied to maximize resistance to abrasion and corrosion
- Sturdy, one-piece, no sag base design
Tradesman Truck 60" Black Aluminum Side Bin Tool Box TAL600BK$212.97Product Features
- Keyed locks protect valuables
- Heavy-duty gas shocks provide smooth opening every time
- Optional double latch system or push button design
- Available in Bright or Black finish
Tradesman Truck 48" Black Aluminum Side Bin Tool Box TAL480BK$179.97Product Features
- Keyed locks protect valuables
- Heavy-duty gas shocks provide smooth opening every time
- Optional double latch system or push button design
- Available in Bright or Black finish
Tradesman 36 in. Flush Mount Truck Tool Box - TAWB36W$211.97
Product Description
The TAWB36W is an aluminum flush mount design that provides a clean look and an unobstructed view of the road. Made of 0.060 in. aluminum. New wider design. Offset lid construction allows lid to open fully without back wall interference. Strong double latch paddle handle to protect valuables.
- Fits full to mid size trucks with a wider design
- Offset lid construction allowing lid to open fully without back wall interference
- Strong double latch paddle handle to protect valuables
- Bright finish
Delta DAC1301002 Aluminum Single Lid Deep Fullsize Crossover - Black$229.99
The DAC Series Aluminum Crossovers offer a great combination of features for storing and protecting your valuables. Available in Single Lid and Mid-Lid Dual Lid models, they will provide improved long-term durability, and reliability when compared to other products in the same price range.
- Features:
- High-strength body with wide top flanges resists cargo damage and helps protect the lock system
- Rugged adjustable strikers adjust vertically and horizontally to keep the lid locked down tight
- Large pan bolsters reinforce the beveled edge lids for improved rigidity and strength
- Leak-proof stainless steel paddle handles prevent moisture from getting inside
- Gas spring lid lifts automatically raise the lids for easier access
- 3-compartment tray provides storage space for small items
- Full weather stripping creates a tight seal against moisture and dust
Dimension A: 70-1/8-in Dimension B: 60-1/8-in Dimension C: 17-1/4-in Dimension D: 12-in Dimension E: 20-1/4-in Dimension F: 20-7/8-in Dimension G: 71-1/8-in


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Now browsing: Hometown News > Rants & Raves > Volusia County
In response to: 'Ocean swimmers have rights'
If you walking down the beach and see a fisherman who has been there long before you, then find another place to fish. They have just as much right to be there as you do. Don't be rude - find another spot.
Glad channels are back
I don't know who blinked. Was it the cable channel or network? I just know I am glad Jerry Springer's channel is back on air.
Stick with the facts
Enough already, please just the facts. Several recent articles, brochures, and mailers supporting the city of South Daytona's effort to buy out FP&L'S electrical franchise mention a "proposed" Separation and Transfer agreement that requires the city to pay a breakup fee of $11.5 million if the city does not acquire the FP&L system.
They suggest going to southdaytona.org, look up the "proposed" agreement, section 8.3 on page 22. The most obvious impression to the average reader will be the legal gobbledygook that one encounters in this section. Upon further examination, one will discover that this document is nothing but a "proposal." The more relevant page is 27, which contains the required signatures for the agreement to be binding. Guess what? There are no signatures. It is just a "proposal" that is actually meaningless. Most of us have bought a house or a car. We know that anything can be offered in the contract to buy, but until both parties come to an agreement and sign the contract, nothing happens, it's just a sheet of paper. So please, stick to the facts, and let the citizens decide Aug. 14.
In response to: Back to the Bible
The Bible says that the sanctity of marriage is between a man and woman. Yes, this world is made up of many different religions, but there is one God and one Bible and if you would like to hear a true man of God preach the true Bible come to First Baptist of Daytona Beach.
My oldest son decided at 16 that he was gay. I did not take that news well, believe me, he was not born that way and I do not know of any proof of that. I told him it was a sin and as long as he knew he was going to be with the devil when he left this world, then so be it.
People choose to be that way. I know a lot of gay and lesbian people and not one of them says they were born that way. Unless you know of some medical proof that people are born that way, then you should be quiet.
This world has gotten away from the Bible. Look at what is happening all over the world. People are trying to take God out of everything, and that is where people have gone wrong. Parents need to get back too church, read the Bible, tell people about the bible and pray. Give back to God. The money you make is God's. Without God you wouldn't even be here.
Parents need to make sure their children have a relationship with God. Their life will be so much better.
Anything is possible with God. He never leaves you in times of trouble and he knows our every need. I don't know about your house 'As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.'
Signs with no information
There are signs littered all over saying candidate's names. Who are these people? What do they stand for?
Just like on election days, there are 50-plus signs at the library. All they need is one sign and facts about themselves.
Or, spend the money taking an ad in the newspaper explaining the facts.
When we go to vote, who knows who to vote for? I don't! I just vote for the one or two I know.
The same goes for the presidential election. All we hear on TV is each candidate badmouthing each other. Half of it can't be true. For instance, they don't create the jobs anywhere. The people who run companies do.
We want to know their accomplishments and what they hope to do if elected. I choose not to vote for those who badmouth and tell lies.
I want honest people to run our community and country. You can't get votes with lies and deceit. We can just pray that the right person gets in office.
Editor's note: Follow our election coverage in our latest edition and online at www.myhometownnews.net.
Save our schools
Considering how parental involvement and community support are necessary to right America's schools, money's clearly not the issue, which is why I'm rather amazed by those who believe raising our taxes and giving more money to our schools is the answer to solving our educational woes.
Supporting a response
This is to support the person that wrote back to the Bible saying that she felt like the person did not know what they were talking about. I absolutely support them. They point out that in our nation and world is made up of many religions. It is also made of many judgmental and hypocritical people who tell us how we should interpret the Bible. My God loves everyone.
For the son who has experienced bullying, I truly am sorry for him and I pray that this does not have any permanent damage. My adult son came out years ago and has many friends all over the world, both straight and gay and he travels extensively. He has passed the Bar (exam) in three states and practices in two. Currently, he is a very successful attorney in the state of Florida and has been recognized for his pro-bono services to those in need.
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News conference on federal corruption probe
News conference on federal corruption probe
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VLC media player is popular with lots of PC users right now as it is a free & open source cross-platform multimedia player and framework that plays most multimedia files as well as DVD, Audio CD, VCD, and various streaming protocols. However, some still want to uninstall it and then go back to window media player for some reasons. If, at any time, you want to uninstall VLC media player, you can easily uninstall it with the instructions in this article.
No matter whenever you want to uninstall VLC media player, you can directly apply the Windows built-in "Add/Remove Program" utility with the following instructions:
For Windows Vista / Windows 7
*Go to Start Menu, select Control Panel.
*Under "Programs & features", click the Uninstall a Program link.
*Select VLC media player and right click to select "Uninstall/Change".
*Follow the prompts to finish the uninstalltion of the software.
For Windows XP
*Go to Start Menu, select Control Panel.
*Click the Add or Remove Programs icon.
*Select VLC media player and click on the "Remove" or "Change/Remove" button.
*Follow the on-screen steps to finish the VLC media player uninstall process.
These are the solutions that all Windows computer users can take to manually uninstall VLC media player from the computer. It might work at some computers and in many situations, this manual uninstall job fails by leaving leftover files either in your hard disk or Windows registry for it is well known to combine well with the OS. If this problem happens to your PC, don't worry too much as with the next automatic solutions, the VLC media player will be uninstalled immediately!
If you want to completely uninstall the VLC media player without affecting all other sorts of computer functions, do not perform the manual uninstall steps especially when you do not have enough PC knowledge. Well, it is time for you to get a help. A small program named Perfect Uninstaller will be your best and final solution to fully uninstall VLC media player. Why do I say this is that, it not only uninstalls all components of the computer, but also deletes the files, scans & takes out all relevant registry keys/entries thoroughly within clicks; after that, it will re-you're your computer to make sure that no remnants escape. I guess it is very easy to uninstall all your unneeded programs with a professional uninstall tool in hand when you are stuck by other uninstall methods.
Compared with the manual uninstall approach, you can uninstall VLC media player for good from your computer without leaving down a file by using the tool on my site. It guarantees to save your precious time and secure your PC performance easily.


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Ranch thespians offer 'Nutcracker' inspired tale
Date: December 13, 2012
by: Pam Eubanks | Managing Editor
Theater students at Lakewood Ranch High School will turn a holiday classic into a new favorite Dec. 14, as they perform 'Nuncrackers: The Nunsense Christmas Musical.'
The comedic musical, which centers around a group of nuns who are recording a "TV special" in their convent basement studio, includes Christmas song such as "Santa Ain't Coming' to Our House," and "Twelve Days Prior to Christmas," as well as the nun's take on the ballet classic, "The Nutcracker."
Performances start at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 14 and Dec. 15, at Lakewood Ranch High School, 5500 Lakewood Ranch Blvd., Lakewood Ranch.
Admission is $5.
Contact Pam Eubanks firstname.lastname@example.com.
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24 Food Fight
6:00 am - 11:00 pm
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26 Lakewood Ranch Republican Club Luncheon
12:00 pm - 1:00 pm
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27 KidsCreate: Outdoor Pinting for Children
9:00 am - 11:00 am
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27 Health & Wellness Expo
10:00 am - 1:00 pm
Cardinal Mooney alumni plan reunion
Did you go to Cardinal Mooney in 1964? Your former classmates are calling for you!
Looming event aids in cancer cause
Learning Express Toys partnered with the MaxLove Project Sept. 13 and Sept. 14 for a special MaxLove International Loom-A-Thon Against Cancer.
MTI hosts 9/11 blood drive
As the nation remembers the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, Manatee Technical Institute will commemorate the tragedy with a blood drive from 8:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Sept. 10 and Sept. 11, at its main campus, 6305 State Road 70 East, in front of Braden River High Schol.


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- The Boreka Diary - http://www.theglobaljewishkitchen.com -
Cucumber Tomato Salad
Posted By Linda Capeloto Sendowski On February 2, 2011 @ 10:05 PM In Cookbook,Fresh Produce,salad,Sephardic,Side Dish,Vegetarian Recipes | No Comments
Another crunchy wonderful salad for a side dish, this version of the classic Israeli salad is great with Lamb, beef, chicken, or fish. This night I was thinking light since I want to fit in a certain dress soon. I made the salad and a piece of succulent Chilean Sea Bass, pan seared in a little olive oil.
The salad may be used in a buffet or makes a wonderful side dish for brunch. [1]
Makes a side dish for 4 people
6 Persian cucumbers
4 vine ripened Roma tomatoes
1 red bell pepper
1/3 cup of mashed grilled eggplant (it comes in a container like hummus, all ready to use)
Salt and fresh cracked pepper [2]
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
2 tablespoons fruity olive oil (optional)
Wash the cucumbers. Scrape the skin of the cucumbers, peeled or not, your choice, and then dice them about 1/3 inch size. Dice the tomatoes and red bell pepper about the same size as the cucumber. Add all of the ingredients to a serving bowl and toss well. The oil really is optional. I usually don't add it.
Article printed from The Boreka Diary: http://www.theglobaljewishkitchen.com
URL to article: http://www.theglobaljewishkitchen.com/2011/02/02/cucumber-tomato-salad/
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[1] Image: http://www.theglobaljewishkitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/cucumber-salad-kurabiedes-006-Copy-Copy-Copy-3.jpg
[2] Image: http://www.theglobaljewishkitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/cucumber-salad-kurabiedes-001-Copy-Copy-Copy-1.jpg
[3] Image: http://www.addtoany.com/share_save
[4] Cherry Tomato and Beet Salad : http://www.theglobaljewishkitchen.com/2011/06/23/cherry-tomato-and-beet-salad/
[5] Sephardic Turkish Salad : http://www.theglobaljewishkitchen.com/2010/07/21/sephardic-turkish-salad/
[6] Fire Roasted Eggplant Salad : http://www.theglobaljewishkitchen.com/2010/06/12/fire-roasted-eggplant-salad/
[7] Black Bean and Fresh Corn Salad : http://www.theglobaljewishkitchen.com/2010/06/30/black-bean-and-fresh-corn-salad/
[8] Spring Herb Salad With Feta Cheese : http://www.theglobaljewishkitchen.com/2012/05/22/spring-herb-salad-with-feta-cheese/
[9] Powered by: http://www.yarpp.com
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Plan to join us on Friday October 24 at Great Meadow for an evening of music, drinks and celebration as we prepare to make our big move to a newly renovated facility in 2015. View the plans, talk to the people involved, and help us celebrate all the progress so far! More details to come…
Mental Health Association comes up BIG for our patients!
A top priority for the Free Clinic is to expand effective mental health treatment resources for our patients. We have a great partner in the Mental Health Association of Fauquier County! This week we received an amazing gift of $50,000 to support our plans to build two mental health treatment areas into our future building. Thank you to Sallie Morgan and all of the staff, board and supporters of the MHAFC. This gift will result in improved and expanded mental health care for local uninsured families. Our patients thank you!
WE DID IT! What a fantastic community of non-profits and engaged citizens. Congrats and thanks to everyone who put us over the top. Early results look like our late surge got us to 244 individual donors, and a total of $37,000. It was very very close, but we had more donors than any other non-profit and it looks like we will win the $2500 bonus for winning the big contest. Add that to the $500 Golden Ticket prize for our 4:00 am donor and the $200 prize for the very first donation of the event, plus the matching funds, and it was a great 24 hours for our patients and their families. Thank you to everyone who came through for our effort!
• All donations must be made online, by credit card
• $100,000 will be matched by Fauquier Health Foundation
• Minimum donation of $10 counts toward prize contests
• Many other community organizations will be participating
• Additional $27,000 worth of prizes granted based on number of gifts, random raffles every hour, donation from furthest away, most dollars between 5 and 6 am… and more.
Tournament Postponed for Flooding – now to be held Friday May 9
posted 4/30 2:20 pm.
Due to significant flooding already and more anticipated on the course, this year's event will now be held on May 9, 2014 at the Fauquier Springs Country Club. The club pro has determined that the course is not safe and will not be in condition for play by Friday morning.
On May 9:
Shotgun start 11:00 am. Check in starts at 10:00 am. Please arrive early to check in and warm up. Free use of the driving range and practice greens. Golfers will receive a gift certificate for use in the pro-shop, good on May 2 only.
CONTACT: To confirm your sponsorship and your foursome, please contact Rob Marino at (540) 347-0394 or better yet via email at email@example.com.
Give Local May 6
• All donations must be made online, by credit card
• $100,000 will be matched by Fauquier Health Foundation
• Minimum donation of $10.00
• Many other community organizations will be participating
• There is also $27,000 worth of extra prizes for the organizations based on number of gifts, random raffles every hour, donation from furthest away, etc.
Check out our new dental x-ray system!
Our strong focus on improving oral health in this community is really paying off. This month we added a digital x-ray system and electronic dental charting system to our clinic's toolbox! Thank you to our many local sponsors and a $19,000 gift of PC hardware from Practice Systems Integration for allowing us to enter the 21st century! Our volunteer clinicians can now view high quality dental images right at the chair, much more quickly than ever before. Great progress for our patients and our volunteers!
Support Sherry on the Camino de Santiago
Our one and only Sherry Pace and her husband Oz are walking 500 miles across northern Spain following the Camino de Santiago this month (April 2014). Sherry is a nurse, a board member, and an amazing volunteer. She sent us this picture from her last walk (I guess doing it once wasn't enough?) and is encouraging her friends to support her efforts by giving to the Free Clinic in their honor. If you are so inclined, follow the link here to pitch in. The long miles will go by easier thanks to your support for the patients of the Free Clinic. Thank you and godspeed Sherry!
Dr. Chhitwal – Rheumatology at the Free Clinic
We are so lucky to have Dr. Chhitwal volunteering here once a month for rheumatology services. We think she's world class! And is that Benedict Cumberbatch looking over her shoulder?
Meet Stacey Shepherd
by Alisa Booze-Troestchel, Clinic Volunteer
It's not about money. It's about people. It's about living a balanced life. Stacey Shepherd lost a lot of annual income on Oct. 4 when she began work at the Fauquier Free Clinic. But, she gained satisfaction in her roles as a physician's assistant and as wife and mom to two girls, seven and four years old.
- Eleven-hour days at a doctor's office in Centreville kept Shepherd away from her family. She often interacted with patients who left her feeling not valued. But folks at the Clinic are different.
"It's hard not to enjoy taking care of this patient population," Shepherd says. The petite woman with long brown hair and a heart-shaped face tells a story about a woman she'd seen the previous night. Even though she works both days the Clinic is open, she continues her nine years of volunteering at the Thursday night walk-in clinic.
She related a story about a recent patient encounter as an example of the kind of work she finds rewarding. This patient's medical history was as complex as her lifestyle. A hospital had recently released her from treatment. She had no home and lived at the shelter.
The woman did have a long list of medications, and a short supply of money. Thinking out loud, she wondered which were the most critical, and which she could do without.
Tears flowed down the woman's cheeks when Shepherd told her about the Clinic's prescription assistance. Patients pay two dollars per medication that the Clinic stocks. They pay nothing for other medicines at a local pharmacy.
Then Shepherd told her patient that she was referring her to a specialist for treatment. As is typical for Clinic patients, she would likely receive an initial visit free of charge. If ongoing care is necessary, the patient and specialist discuss the fees.
"She was overwhelmed," Shepherd observed.
When Shepherd was a teenager, she wanted to be an athletic trainer. An unhappy internship during her senior year of high school showed that she needed to find a different career path.
What Shepherd knew is that she wanted children. She did not want to extend her studies into her thirties, and rack up a heavy debt load that some doctors accumulate. Shadowing a physician's assistant revealed her road to take.
"Physician assistant's school is four years of medical school crammed into two," says Shepherd. Students are in the classroom during the first year, and do clinical rotations in the second.
Being a physician's assistant at the Clinic fits with what's important to Shepherd.
"It's about quality of life," says Shepherd. "My first priority is to be a good wife and a good mother."
Every night at the dinner table, each person in Shepherd's family names one thing for which she or he is grateful. A few weeks into her employment at the Clinic, both her husband and oldest daughter said they're just glad she's home every night for dinner.


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text:
We haven't heard the last of the generation that made revolution in Egypt and across the Middle East.
The conviction of three Al Jazeera journalists yesterday underscored the hypocrisy of US support for Egypt's General Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi.
We in civil society must sharpen our demands.
Social media platforms are enabling women to speak out anonymously and show that harassment exists—but that hasn't resulted in culture change.
In Tunisia, secularists and Islamists produced a landmark constitution—without Western interference.
Amr Hamzawy was one of the few liberals who condemned both the Morsi government's misrule and the military coup. Now he's increasingly isolated.
You can't always trace it, but everything and everyone has a genealogy.
Precious few political parties have spoken out against the military or its assault on the Muslim Brotherhood.
President Obama can now embark on a new foreign policy, one that rejects military interventionism in favor of an engaged internationalism.
A diplomatic solution is possible.


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Roommate issues - how to level?
February 15, 2012
Personal issues with new roommate; two males. How do we resolve this and move forward?
I'll try and keep this under wraps as possible. I want to begin by saying I'm gay; he isn't, I'm a bit oversensitive those days (due to some unresolved issues in my life right now); he's a very blunt kind of person, and am seeking therapy to help with my other life issues
I recently re-met a guy (let's call him Zee) at a party in December in DC, because he used to go to the same middle school as I did. We talked, we somewhat hit it off. He offered me a room (actually, a den) in his small apartment, along with his three other roommates (a family). I thought it over, decided to move in. Due to a situation I was in, the university dorm I was living in prior to here wanted my stuff out of the room earlier than I could make it back to DC, so I begrudgingly asked Zee if he would be willing to move my things to my new room, and offered to treat him to a dinner or two to make up for the time, gas, and other expenses. He agreed, and moved my things. I arrived mid-Jan, all was good. For a while. He then told me some friends were complaining about me (personality issues; I won't go into them) behind my back to him. I digested that; it hurt, but I understood his intentions and why he wanted to share that with me, and it gave me an opportunity to improve as well. I still felt a bit hurt, though, because he agreed with their assessment and used some examples, but I brushed it off. Time went by, and Zee began to become more and more blunt. He would shake his head and laugh at any "weird" actions I did, and tell me actions I did that I was unaware of (such as accidentally cutting a line, which I didn't realize I was doing) and criticizing some actions.
I continued to brush it off, because I could tell that was his personality - he complained about others, and seemed a bit, well, to put it nicely, anal about people. However, I began to put up a distance. I also felt guilty because he drove me around (of course, I reimbursed him with gas, and the occasional drink). One time, at a bar, after being too rude to me in front of a friend (when I used a scissor he had, he said if I broke it, I would pay for it, kind of rudely, in front of his friend, which really turned me off), he treated me to a drink. After asking him why, he said "aren't we friends?" with kind of a hurt look on his face.
Zee came in my room often and complain about our other roommates (a family he feels responsible for, due to their financial and mental limitations). He also complained about girls he was seeing. Again, I maintained a distance, and tried not to take his blunt criticisms to my actions in public personally. Until tonight. We were at a grocery store, and I being tired (recovering from a cold), made a honest mistake at a self-checkout lane - the guy in front of me apparently was struggling with making his purchase. He walked away, and I thought he had paid for his purchase already mistakenly, so I went ahead and processed the payment for my item, and Zee said "wait, the guy in front of you isn't finished" in a very scolding, somewhat patronizing manner. I felt very embarrassed and felt like he was treating me as if he was my dad. He came over and actually took over the screen, doing the payment for me, and even pointing to the cash insert. Like I can't see that, d'oh. I decided at that point, it was time for a talk.
We went to a burger joint, and I told him bluntly that I was fed up. I made my points, explaining that I am sensitive, that's who I am at this point, and as I have social anxiety, it's hard for me to deal with situations sometimes, and I did not appreciate his constant bluntness. I made it a point to explain that while sometimes letting me know I made a mistake can help, too much can become very grating and make me even more self-conscious than I already am. Suffice to say, our discussion became ugly. He didn't understand (or refused to listen to) my reasoning, and said that he felt he was "easy" on me at the beginning, but after repeat situations where he had to explain to me where I did something wrong, he felt fed up, and that he's under a lot of stress at this point with school, and doesn't have the patience. He also said that he felt it was all about me, that I was being selfish, by being choosy with restaurants and places to eat, among other things (he couldn't come up with other specific examples), and said that many friends were complaining about me, and that he was sure he wasn't the only one. He also said I had "closed vision" and didn't consider others. While he was right on the food front, the other information caught me by shock. I explained that I can be admittedly selfish when eating out, but that I would change my habits and become more openminded and go places he wanted to go, not just where I wanted to go, and that I would make an effort to be more careful with my surroundings. I did ask him to meet me halfway and try to tell me in a nicer way if he felt I was doing something truly wrong. He said there was no point, because he didn't have time to explain in a nice way what I was doing wrong. I also told him that I felt he didn't have to point out every fault, and he said he didn't want people to look at him like he was an idiot for being with me (not those exact words, but the same idea), such as the guy who was in front of me at the self-checkout lane. Being Deaf, he also said he felt he didn't want to be associated that way. Needless to say, that really hurt, because he made it sound like I did a crime at the store, and being Deaf as well, I didn't hear what was going on.
Then, to add insult on top of injury, when we were leaving the burger joint, I left my unfinished food on the table. (I wasn't hungry; bad day, frustrated with Zee's unwillingness to work with me and level with me, and other issues.) All other times, I threw the food away, but this time I wasn't thinking due to everything else, and it was closing time, and a worker was cleaning up anyway, so it didn't strike me as a big deal. Well, as we were leaving the joint, Zee asked me about the unfinished items I left on the table. I said I wasn't hungry and didn't want to finish it. He replied with, "well, why don't you throw it away?" I explained that the workers would throw it away. He then said that it was inconsiderate of me, and that I should throw it away myself. At that point, I was fed up. He was doing it again! I told him that, and he said, "well, that's your attitude problem!" I then told him firmly I was going to walk home, and to not talk to me. (Maybe a bit childish, but at that point, I was plain fed up.) I walked to the university, cooled off, and went home. I haven't seen Zee since then. We haven't talked on text.
What should I do? I admit there are some mistakes I made in the process, from beginning to finish, but I feel stonewalled and like there's nothing I can do. Zee has his mind set, and the ending really turned me off. He can be hardheaded at times, but this is going too far. I am an adult, I have a right to not be put up to this, and I am not a child. I have done my part to communicate with him. I am at my wits' end, and am thinking about moving out (am not on a lease). However, I don't want to just move out; I want to try and work this out, but I'm not sure there's any hope or any point to do so.
Thanks, and sorry this was such a long book!
posted by
Human Relations
(39 answers total)
2 users marked this as a favorite
Simply sharing a home with someone is one thing. Socialising and going for drinks and burgers and one driving the other around is a very different thing.
It really just sounds like the two of you are not compatible enough to be having this kind of relationship.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
5 favorites
It sounds like you two just don't get along. There's nothing wrong with that. That doesn't mean you're a bad person, or that he is, just that your personalities clash in a way that is unpleasant for both of you. This also seems like much ado for someone you've only really been acquainted with for two or three months.
It's hard to be friends with a hyper critical person even if you are not a sensitive, socially-anxious person. It seems best to save yourself the hurt and trouble and just try to move on as amicably as you can.
If you must continue to live there, I'd try to make it a roommates relationship and not a friendship relationship. It sounds like awfully close quarters for that though.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
1 favorite
I think you handled all this just fine, from beginning to end.
You have told Zee what you think of his behaviour, and unlike you, he doesn't take criticism as feedback and an invitation to improve. He will therefore probably never speak to you again, as Zee follows a personality pattern that is very predictable.
It's not up to you to chase Zee. He is the one who owes you an apology and an olive branch. Which, as I've said, it's probably not in his nature to offer, but anything's possible.
Pro tip: powerful people don't explain at length why they want respect, because they have social anxiety which means they deserve to have their feelings taken into consideration whereas a person without social anxiety wouldn't, and let me explain in detail the basics of respect and contempt to you, and this is why you make me feel this way or that way. It's possible that Zee is young enough that he just doesn't know any better; unfortunately, you can't necessarily expect adults to have a better grasp of basic manners than would be expected of a five-year-old. But you've said your piece, it's not your place to socialize him further.
Here are things you could say to Zee and his ilk in the future, to get your point across without needless self-justification:
- Cut out the criticism.
- Please keep your comments to yourself.
- Stop judging me.
- Cut it out.
That's it. Like Ding Training. It'll either work or it won't.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
3 favorites
I think that Zee seems like a decent guy who is being driven up the wall by your behaviour.
Zee has provided you with a room in his home. He's moved all your stuff into that room for you, without your helping. He drives you around. He eats where you want to eat. He offers to buy you a drink when you're offended by something that he's said. He also seems to be watching your back when your friends complain about you doing the same things that are irritating him.
You, by your own admission, repeatedly cut into queues. Insist that your friends eat where you want to eat. Seem to dwell disproportionately on everything that your friends say about you. Don't bother cleaning up after yourself at restaurants.
If it had been Zee posting this about you, using only the occasions that you've mentioned here, my guess is that there'd be a bunch of people telling him to kick you out.
Sorry to be harsh, but that's the way that I see it.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
22 favorites
veedubya -
a) Yes, Zee did provide a room for me in the apartment we currently are living at (leased; not owned). However, I am paying my full share of rent and bills. In no way am I living here free (I wouldn't dream of asking to stay for free, even if only for two weeks).
b) For the moving thing, that was a bind I was in, and I had already compensated him with two dinners. I asked and made sure upfront, to make sure he felt the arrangement was fair.
c) No argument against the watching my back thing - only, why did he have to add his own criticism/perspective? Keep neutral and don't rub salt in the wound.
d) Nowhere in my post did I say I repeatedly cut in lines - I only did that once, and that was an example. And, it was not even intentional - we were at a huge Target, and the Returns area wasn't well-organized, so I went up the wrong line.
e) The eating situation, I agree with you, and that's something I have recognized and will improve upon in the future, by being more open and not wanting to go to the restaurant I want to go.
f) Where did I say I "dwell disproportionately on everything that your friends say about you"?
e) Like I have explained in my post, this was an one-off, and not something I usually do. I'm sorry, but I'm not perfect. (I'm not being defensive, just realistic.)
I hope I'm not coming across as rude in this reply - I'm just trying to clarify your points. Again, I DO appreciate what Zee has done for me, hence the guilty/sticky feeling.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
1 favorite
I'm with Veedubya. Zee sounds like he has healthy boundaries and is treating you like a normal friend. All of the things you describe strike me as being within bounds. He actually sounds like a good friend because he's giving you the real truth... you don't get that from everyone.
• He offered me a room
• He agreed, and moved my things.
• He then told me some friends were complaining about me
• Zee began to become more and more blunt.
• tell me actions I did that I was unaware of
• he drove me around
• he said "aren't we friends?" with kind of a hurt look on his face.
• Zee came in my room often and complain about our other roommates (a family he feels responsible for, due to their financial and mental limitations).
• Zee said "wait, the guy in front of you isn't finished"
• he's under a lot of stress at this point with school
• He also said I had "closed vision" and didn't consider others.
You on the other hand seem to be making everything into an emotional issue. With the grocery store and food waste and the dad thing, that's on you man. The fact that you are having emotional reactions to everything may indicate a distinct lack of boundaries.
Further, you're labelling both yourself and Zee. Blunt, social anxiety, etc. Those are all descriptors that indicate an aspect of someone's behaviour, not their personality.
I see unhealthy boundaries here. First red flag was the university thing. It's your stuff. Work it out. Second was the food pickiness. Eating is social. Work it out.
• I'm a bit oversensitive
• I brushed it off
• I continued to brush it off,
• I began to put up a distance.
• I also felt guilty
• I felt very embarrassed and felt like he was treating me as if he was my dad.
• I decided at that point, it was time for a talk.
• I am sensitive, that's who I am at this point, and as I have social anxiety
• I left my unfinished food on the table
• Maybe a bit childish, but at that point, I was plain fed up
In terms of how you resolve it, I would start with this: Apologise to Zee. Doesn't matter who was right or who was wrong, do you want to save the relationship or not?
The next step is to start developing healthy boundaries. Throw your trash away. Stop being so sensitive. It may help to repeat this mantra: "It's not all about me."
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
11 favorites
Give the dude some breathing room! This Big Serious Talk happened like a few hours ago and you are all freaked because he is "stonewalling you"? Does that mean you've been trying to contact him multiple times a couple hours after you stormed off needing some time to cool down? Do you suspect he might ALSO need some cool-down time- and maybe he needs a couple more hours than you?
Honestly, leaving your garbage on the table, demanding to only eat in places you like, and expecting your roommate to find the right words to not offend you when you are doing something to drive him crazy- it kinda makes you sound overly self interested. You keep suggesting that your friends and you are having some conflict as well. Are they saying similar things as Zee?
You Know? none of this is even the point. You don't like the kid. He doesn't like you all that much either. You are roommates- this shit shouldn't even matter.
Good God you do not need to "work this out." You need to STOP HANGING OUT.
Next time you see him, say you're sorry for being a pain, and leave it alone. Do not rehash and try to get him to see your point of view. Don't talk about it at all- just go get busy doing something else. Just pay your rent, be polite and wave when you come home and leave, don't socialize with him. You live with him, why in the world do you think that means you should be friends, too?
posted by
on February 15, 2012
Just a small point to clarify - what I meant by stonewalling was during the "Big Serious Talk" itself. After we parted ways, we did not talk. I didn't text him or try to contact him, and neither did he.
posted by
on February 15, 2012
He's so in the wrong for "reporting" to you about what others think, I don't even know what the f^ck other posters above are even talking about.
He helps a "family" out of charity, and then you?
This dude has issues. He's a "rescuer." He's trying to rescue you. If you do not feel you need "rescuing" (you don't, no one does") feel free to ignore this.
Find another place to live. This person will continually be trying to "improve" you. F^ck
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
18 favorites
I did ask him to meet me halfway and try to tell me in a nicer way if he felt I was doing something truly wrong. He said there was no point, because he didn't have time to explain in a nice way what I was doing wrong. I also told him that I felt he didn't have to point out every fault, and he said he didn't want people to look at him like he was an idiot for being with me (not those exact words, but the same idea)
Seriously? And you're still trying to be friends with him?
Despite his claims that he doesn't have time to be more polite to you, it seems that Zee is putting a huge amount of time into endlessly criticising you and bossing you around. He chose to take over the self-checkout machine for you, rather than just leaving it at "Hey, that one's still in use"; he chose to pass along all these criticisms from your friends, rather than telling them to take it up with you themselves if they have a problem. (And, uh -
you heard any of these problems from them, incidentally? Or is it all coming through Zee?)
If he really was just trying his best to help when he's already stressed and short of time, he would at the very least be able to be specific when you ask him what, exactly, you're doing that's driving him so crazy. The fact that he couldn't come up with any examples other than 'being choosy with restaurants' is telling. He might be playing the "I'm just criticising you so much for your own good!" card, and he might even believe it himself, but that doesn't mean you need to stick around and thank him for it.
Zee came in my room often and complain about our other roommates (a family he feels responsible for, due to their financial and mental limitations)
Zee seems to have a pattern of surrounding himself with people he feels can feel responsible for (them, you), then complaining about how annoying it is it is to feel responsible for them. He might be one of those people who you can get along with fine as part of a wider social circle, but he sounds like a nightmare to live with.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
7 favorites
Being roommates can be very taxing, especially since you have your quirks and he has his. Why not end the drama and just move out? Doesn't seem like you're getting much out of this relationship besides angst.
posted by
Foci for Analysis
on February 15, 2012
Have you asked your other friends whether they've been talking about you? Are you close enough with any of them to be able to ask them if you've done something to offend them lately? Or is Zee just making this up? You need a second opinion about your behavior because I have a feeling Zee isn't being honest with you, he's just giving his random opinion and pretending to have back-up on it when he doesn't.
My take on it is that he probably looks down on you for being a bit dependent and absentminded and not having confidence in yourself, and he's being nasty to you because of it. You need to get another living situation sorted out and stop spending time with this guy.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
2 favorites
I think Zee has a hierarchical view of politeness and sees himself as the alpha friend.
It's true in any system of etiquette that criticism flows downwards, not upwards. That is why Zee gets to criticize you and you don't get to criticize back. In Miss Manners-style etiquette Zee would properly say something like, "Hey, that self-checkout's still in use," or "c'mon, let me pick the restaurant this time, fair's fair." In a hierarchical system of etiquette Zee has to establish his dominance and train you to accept a lower position.
That's also why Zee gets to criticize other friends to you, and also to report criticisms supposedly made about you by other friends. This is a way of driving wedges between people and policing how people feel about each other. Because it's not an egalitarian system, you don't (assuming you would even consider doing this) get to do your other friends the "favor" of pointing out that their bad behaviour is driving Zee up the wall and this is what he said about it, because you don't have the standing in the social hierarchy to "help" and "correct" others in this way. An egalitarian view would be that you don't do stuff like that and Zee shouldn't either, because it's toxic and divisive. Zee's system of etiquette says that Zee gets to do it because Zee is the boss. This is also why you put up and shut up, and don't discuss it or presume to have feelings about it.
If you want to move forward, I'd try to find a new place to live as soon as you can without screwing anybody over, and I'd stop trying to be friends with Zee. Leave doms and subs to manage their systems as they see fit, and recognize that if you don't subscribe to a dom-sub model of social interaction you will only ever look like a presumptuous upstart to those who do.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
18 favorites
Really surprised by those comments jumping on the OP here. Zee is not your friend. He sounds like a dick and you need to start looking for another place to live.
What sort of friend tells you about all the bad things people are saying about you? Think about that for a second. I have friends who don't like other friends. To avoid drama and maintain friendship, I refuse to talk about one with the other, and I would certainly never tell one of them what other people have said about them. Sheesh. And scolding you like a child when you're out in public? My friends wouldn't do that shit. Ever. My friends make me feel good about myself. They cheer me up when things are low. They support me. Contrary to what has been said in this thread, it doesn't sound to me like Zee has your back at all. He's probably using your perceived flaws (and everyone else's) to reaffirm to himself how how "helpful" he is being. Either way, you need some friends who don't make you feel this bad.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
4 favorites
The way I read this is that Zee has some serious perfectionism, shame and social anxiety issues that's he's not fully aware of, and he's trying to ease his discomfort by manipulating the outer world (including you) instead of addressing his inner emotional issues. You just happen to be one of the things in his field of vision that doesn't seem right, and he's trying to fix you. Note that he's helping himself by "helping" you. No doubt he's observing some real characteristics of yours, and no doubt some of those characteristics are less than perfect and/or do bother some people, but his sense of scale and the importance he attributes to these imperfections is all out of whack, because every little thing in his world that doesn't fit his idealized mental model is OMG intolerable and he has to fixitfixitfixitOMGfixitNOW!
You on the other hand are eager to please, and in your eagerness to help things go smoothly and be open to addressing real problems you're encouraging his dysfunctional behavior. Instead of being satisfied with any changes you might make, he just moves onto the next thing, not because you're an exceptionally flawed human being but because you yield to his efforts. You are something he can shape, and he
so needs
to shape things.
You're going to have to tell him, consistently, to butt out and go fix someone else.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
10 favorites
He sounds like a "fixer." A lot of people really like to be the one to come to peoples' rescue, making their lives better and being the hero in their own stories. On one end, it's a terrific thing (a guy who'll move you into his apartment, shuttle you around, and help with stuff) on the other end, they can be controlling and really touchy when you disagree with the courses of action they have determined will "fix" your life.
Zee sounds like he's gotten into that other territory, and the fact that he takes care of a family that needs this kind of help makes me think that he's putting you into some kind of category where you need just as much attention. That can be very condescending, and you appear to be in a place where you'll take a lot of "blame" upon yourself.
I think you guys should part ways, living-situation-wise, and take a break from constant contact for awhile. You could still be friends -- a lot of times, when you're on your own and doing your own thing, "fixers" find other people that they deem in need of repair. But it's not healthy for you to be getting "lessons" from someone you went to high school with, even if you have social anxiety and are sometimes a little bit thoughtless. Everybody has some level of anxiety, and nobody is Perfectly Proper In Every Way.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
1 favorite
Also, I don't like to be that gay guy who sees homosexuality in everything, but two young guys hanging out a lot, one of whom is gay, the other who seems to be grooming this gay guy he has a childhood bond with...sounds like he might have a little more interest in you than just as pals. It's cliche and silly to think it, but the dude is treating you like a possessive, controlling boyfriend would, and if you add in "in the closet," and embarrassment about any little social faux pas you make...yeah, I wonder.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
1 favorite
Zee probably criticizes himself constantly too. This is his personality and it isn't going to change. It's not against you, as you seem to be experiencing it, but if you want to continue to be friends with him, you're going to have to learn to accept that he has this problem.
posted by
Obscure Reference
on February 15, 2012
Umm.. halfway through, you talk about being 'deaf'. Like, deaf-deaf, or just He doesn't listen to me" deaf? If it's the former, I'm thinking that would have been more pertinent information to include up front.
And Zee sounds like he is used to being the one to take all the responsibility. And really - the situation you describe sounds like a big brother or father-son relationship. Your more reserved/introverted type of personality and his 'take care of everyone and be responsible' personality just clicked into that kind of dynamic.
Your reactions all can be viewed as the petulant child, and his can all be viewed as the overbearing father.
think of things in that context and see what needs to change.
And just get in touch with him forchissakes.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
2 favorites
This is an awful lot of drama for a roommate relationship. For a roommate, this level of intensity is not a good thing. You
just live together
Sure, you could try to work this out. Both of you would need to take a big step back from the level of whatever is going on here -- but can you do that? Can he? I think you're better off just moving out.
posted by
J. Wilson
on February 15, 2012 [
1 favorite
Guy's a jerk, flat out. Don't be friends.
posted by
on February 15, 2012
Zee complains about people behind their backs. People he chooses to be around. Regularly, it sounds like. That's a blatant Asshole Flag, and it's an attitude that takes a lot of time and effort to change -- i.e. don't bet on it happening anytime soon, if ever.
Distance yourself and find another living situation as soon as you can. This guy is an environmental irritant.
posted by
Metroid Baby
on February 15, 2012 [
2 favorites
Yes. I've no idea about the rights and wrongs of this situation, but it's plainly far more trouble than it's worth. Either back away, if you can, or move out. The only thing I would add is that if this is part of a pattern of difficult friendships, you need to look at how you pick the people you spend time with, and whether what you expect from each other is appropriate to the type of relationship you have. If it's just a weird one off, then you probably just don't get on with this guy; it happens.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
1 favorite
Umm.. halfway through, you talk about being 'deaf'. Like, deaf-deaf, or just He doesn't listen to me" deaf? If it's the former, I'm thinking that would have been more pertinent information to include up front.
Yes, "deaf-deaf," which is denoted by the capitalization.
posted by
on February 15, 2012
Also, as to all the comments saying he shouldn't be telling you what other friends are saying about you, as if he is trying to cause trouble or make you feel bad- I interpretted it completely differently as him basically trying to say "hey man, these behaviors dont just bother me, they are alienating your other friends too."
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
1 favorite
[Less tough love more helpful please? Thank you.]
posted by
on February 15, 2012
Being Deaf, he also said he felt he didn't want to be associated that way.
I'm not sure what this means. I know the OP is Deaf, but did Zee say he didn't want to be associated with a Deaf person? Seriously, if so that's extremely messed up.
I can't understand those who are saying it's the OP who's the selfish one. If you're deaf then of course you're going to miss out on some of the things that are going on around you such as a guy not being finished at the checkout in front of you. Maybe the guy said something and you didn't hear it? You and your friends need to cut you a bit of slack for some of this stuff for goodness sakes.
This guy Zee is toxic for you. Just focus on getting your own place and improving your situation away from him. He's only 'helping' people in order to feel all superior to them. And as a general rule, stay away from people who talk badly about their supposed friends and girlfriends behind their backs. These are not nice people and are not out to help anyone but themselves. You don't deserve this kind of treatment.
posted by
on February 15, 2012
I'm not sure what this means. I know the OP is Deaf, but did Zee say he didn't want to be associated with a Deaf person? Seriously, if so that's extremely messed up.
I think it's that Zee is Deaf, as well, and Zee has a sort of hangup about Deaf people being seen as clueless and stumbling, which he perceives the OP to be doing.
Cast me in with the lot who sees Zee as a "fixer" constantly trying to "help" people and then complaining about having to deal with helping and fixing.
posted by
on February 15, 2012
I don't think either of you two are wholly in the right here. I'm inclined to side with Zee as a few others have done - I think his behavior and reactions are more normal than yours, and that he's being driven up the wall by you.
That said, it doesn't matter who's more right here. Everyone who has posted here would agree that the two of you are not compatible and need to separate.
posted by
on February 15, 2012
Zee has a sort of hangup about Deaf people being seen as clueless and stumbling
I could be reading too much into this, but I see this as the key to the whole situation. When I was reading through your account of what happened, it seemed a bit odd that Zee was acting so much like your significantly older brother: helping you out while giving you constant feedback on what, in his view, you were doing wrong. That isn't a usual dynamic for friends. But then I got to the Deaf part, and it made a lot more sense to me that he would see you as being a bit like family, and why he'd be so preoccupied with the idea that your behaviour would reflect on him. Is there a reason why he sees himself as the 'older' brother here? Are you actually significantly younger, or are there other reasons why you might know less about either Deaf culture or about how to participate in hearing society?
And speaking of Deaf culture, I wonder how much of his bluntness makes more sense in that context?
posted by
on February 15, 2012
You explained to him that you didn't like how he was interacting with you, and he didn't respect that. Maybe you are an annoying jerk - you might want to confirm/clarify that with the other people he says are talking about you - but so is he.
The thing that bothers me most here is -- Do you want or need this person to tell you how to behave? The thing I didn't get from your post was you telling him to stop doing that. I don't think he actually CAN do this in a way that you feel more comfortable with but do
feel like you need help with your social skills? And that this is a good person to learn from? And why?
posted by
on February 15, 2012
I've been in this situation. I don't drive, and am extremely picky about my food (I can't eat anything spicy and a lot of seasonings make me sick, so I stick to chain restaurants or places where I know I can at least get chicken strips or something bland). I've had friends get resentful f my inability to explore new foods, and of my needing a ride everywhere I want to go.
I compensate for that by taking the bus when I can, or calling a cab if the bus isn't a viable option, before asking a friend to take me somewhere unless they're already planning to go there. Aka we're both going to a friend's party, they say they also need to go grocery shopping, etc. When I do ask for rides to do errands, I make a point of buying lunch as a way of saying thank you, and offer gas money as well.
The food thing is something I have difficulty with, but there are some possibilities for branching out... if a mexican food place has plain cheese quesadillas (or will make one for me) I can go there with friends who want spicy food. I've found things that I can enjoy at sushi places, I love Olive Garden. Most anyplace you go will have a burger or chicken strips on the menu, so if nothing else looks good there's still something edible. I also try to get them to decide where they want to go, and make it a discussion rather than me saying "Lets go to Denny's" every time. Buffets are your friend, as long as your human friends enjoy going to buffets... its a way that everyone can find something they like :)
It sounds like Zee thought he was helping with telling about friends comments and his own observations, especially if you expressed to him that you saw it as a learning opportunity for self improvement. He may have become increasingly blunt not only out of personal frustration with your quirks, but also because he thought you wanted to know where he saw things you might want to work on.
posted by
on February 15, 2012
liketitanic - I asked because it was just casually thrown in there. For those who don't know the OP, like me, it wasn't obvious the casual way it was mentioned. (and the reason I asked to be sure I was correct in the assumption WAS because it was capitalized)
And I think the responses after that sort of show that this is something else that needs to be considered and has some revelance that the original answers may not have included in their read of the problem/question.
So, maybe the OP should look more towards the answers after the clarification sunk into responders rather than those earlier on that may have missed that tid-bit in the read.
posted by
on February 15, 2012
I think you just need to stop hanging out with Zee and find a new place to live (or at least do *one* of these things if you can't do the other). You guys sound like you are not compatible as friends or roommates. It doesn't even matter *why* you're incompatible, because the solution is the same regardless.
posted by
on February 15, 2012
I understood the OP was Deaf from the beginning. My answer here regarding Zee's behavior still stands.
posted by
on February 15, 2012 [
1 favorite
Sorry this update is coming in a bit late, but I wanted to answer some questions, for whoever's still reading this thread.
First, yes, Zee and I both are Deaf. In fact, we are in a large Deaf community. I did not mention it upfront because I did not consider our Deafness to be a contributing factor towards our situation; however, after reading some comments, I now realize that was a factor that should have been included upfront. Apologies for any confusion. As for one person who asked if Zee being blunt because being blunt is a tendency of Deaf culture, my answer is, while many Deaf people are much more blunt than hearing people, Zee's bluntness way exceeded many of those other Deaf people I've known. Many other Deaf people at least exercise tact, but Zee has absolutely no tact.
I have also thought about it, and the more I think of it, the more it seems a bit weird that Zee told me what my friends said. I'm adding a bit of backstory here - in December, on my last night in DC (when I was still living in the dorm, and Zee and I hadn't discussed the possibility of being roommates yet), we visited the same friends that he later told me said those things about me. After we visited those friends, Zee and I went to Denny's. He then proceeded to tell me that he noticed some things about me that made me different from the rest of them (four of them), such as my behavior (seeming nervous, talking fast, not relaxing, etc.). I felt turned off at the time, because I felt like he was cross-analyzing me. My other friends did not mention anything. (They know I have social anxiety.) I told Zee to please not cross-analyze me, and he agreed, realizing that he was going a bit far. Then, during winter break, Zee went over to those people's house often, and we would FaceTime while he was there. Everything seemed normal until one night, when I asked Zee if I could say hi to one person (a close friend of mine). Zee asked the friend if I could say hi, and something weird happened - the friend said something, and Zee looked awakard. He then told me that if I wanted to talk to the friend, to ask them myself (that's what they said). I felt weird about that situation, and planned to clear it up with the friend in question but never got around to it, because I never got a chance to see that friend in person since I returned to DC. That friend, who I consider one of my closest friends, is very busy with her last semester. I'm still not sure what happened, which is why I took Zee's "reports" to me as plausible, as another, completely seperate friend, said similar things about me that Zee reported my friend said. However, it's very possible Zee somehow twisted things, because that friend of mine recently met Zee at a party last December (incidentally, where I re-met Zee), and I have known that friend of mine since 2005. We have had some rough spots, but it's a bit hard to imagine her telling Zee those things about me. I could be wrong, so I plan to clear it up with her and disregard Zee's request to not mention anything. It's possible Zee asked me to not mention anything because he didn't want any drama, but it's also possible he did that because he knew if I mentioned anything, I'd find out the truth.
I also hope Zee didn't say anything that I said to that friend, and took it out of context. I honestly am starting to see that there's no clear answer, and it's very possible Zee twisted everything, but at the same time, why would he do that to me? He was very nice at the beginning, and still was fairly nice up to yesterday.
I know the situation is a bit complicated, with many factors, and the truth is, I'm not sure what to do next. I haven't talked to him at all today (nor has he), and I'm nervous to go home. Also, the problems between us (so far) has only occurred when we went out; at home, everything has been fine, so far. I hope that won't change. I also get intimidated easily, so it's hard for me to stand up for myself. Like some has mused, my lack of confidence in myself may has prompted Zee's desire to "improve" me. Whether or not he has good intentions still remains to be seen - I just hope he does not have a bad endgame in mind!
Thanks, and any more advice/insights based on what I have shared would be great!
posted by
on February 15, 2012
"if I wanted to talk to the friend, to ask them myself"
Do clear it up with the friend. But consider that it can be taken literally and what that might imply.
Maybe they don't like that communications with you now have to go through Zee. Maybe they think there's something unhealthy about that.
posted by
on February 16, 2012
Akshuly I bet this is it:
ZEE: Bonnie is a slut! She wears those stupid hats with the earflaps!
YOU: Mm, well, I'm sorry you're having trouble with her. More peppermint tea? It's good for your nerves.
ZEE: dubious_dude thinks you are a slut and he doesn't think much of your hats with the earflaps either. I believe he finds them "stupid".
BONNIE: Why that lousy loser, that jerk! If he has a problem with my earflap hats why doesn't he say it to my face?
YOU: Hey, is Bonnie there? I want to say hi!
ZEE: Well, I'll see...
ZEE [to Bonnie]: It's dubious_dude I'm afraid... he still has issues with your choice of headwear and was wondering if I'd be prepared to work it out with you.
BONNIE [to Zee]: I call shenanigans. I don't think dubious_dude said anything of the sort. I think you're triangulating and creating conflict among friends out of nothing. If you're not shitting me, call dubious_dude to the phone and we'll talk it through right here, right now, in front of everyone.
ZEE: Oh dear. I'm afraid Bonnie says that if you want to talk to her, you have to be man enough to say it to her face.
And your willingness to take bullshit as helpful feedback? This flags you up to Doms as someone onto whom they can projectile-vomit their general hatred of humanity, which is why you get rageful "he called you a loser because you are a loser! that's why everyone hates you and you should hate yourself too! that's what you were put on this earth for!" pile-ons. Try these scenarios on for size:
ZEE: Bonnie is a slut! She wears those stupid hats with the earflaps!
YOU: Well I think Bonnie's really nice akshuly. I don't think it's fair that you talk about her in this way. More peppermint tea? It's good for your nerves.
ZEE: Your social presentation is bad and you should feel bad!
YOU: Fuck you and your put-downs disguised as feedback, GRAR!
I mean, it's not like Zee has a problem with friends who criticize him, is it? The thing about the Zees of this world - they do have excellent boundaries.
posted by
on February 16, 2012 [
2 favorites
Your description of Zee reminds me of someone close to me (let's call that person X), who when they are unhappy with the way i have acted, tell me that various people that i look up to told X ~whatever X thinks themself~.
(X thinks i'm rude because i don't really do chit-chat. After a party when i'v been withdrawn from other people, X tells me Y and Z think i'm rude. I know that's not the case, because they know me better than X does and are ok with my being an introvert. X is not)
With the friend situation with Zee - did you actually see the other friend on camera? Are you sure she was there? Maybe Zee for whatever reason lied and to save face when you wanted to speak to her had to make something up quickly.
In any case, i'd draw some boundaries.
posted by
on February 16, 2012 [
1 favorite
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KFGO's nighttime guy Bob Harris had this first, but I had to re-post it because it pretty much sums up Fargo, at least according to the Centers for Disease Control and various web sites that have called us the drunkest city in America.
This video was shot by a concert-goer after the P!NK (sp?) concert Saturday. It shows P!NK fans who perhaps had been over-served trying to negotiate a snow bank and deep snow west of the Fargodome.
It should make us so proud ...
Follow Mike on Twitter @MikeMcFeelyKFGO


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On Tuesday, the New York Assembly voted 136-3 to pass a bill that creates privately funded scholarships to help the children of undocumented immigrants. The measure is seen as the first step toward passing a state DREAM Act in New York, which has never passed the state Assembly or Senate. Now, it heads to the GOP-controlled state Senate, where its future is uncertain. The legislation would set up the Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors — or DREAM — Fund Commission to solicit donations, and advocates praised it as a strong first step to help immigrant children. "Hopefully one day we are going to have the DREAM Act but this is the first step that we are making," said 16-year-old Katherine Tabares, who hopes to study environmental engineering in college.
NY Lawmakers Pass A Bill To Help Children Of Undocumented Immigrants Pay For College
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- Listen without interrupting. (PROVERBS 18)
- Speak without accusing. (JAMES 1:19)
- Give without sparing. (PROVERBS 21:26)
- Pray without ceasing. (COLOSSIANS 1:9)
- Answer without arguing. (PROVERBS 17:1)
- Share without pretending. (EPHESIANS 4:15)
- Enjoy without complaint. (PHILIPPIANS 2:14)
- Trust without wavering. (CORINTHIANS 13:7)
- Forgive without punishing. (COLOSSIANS 3:13)
- Promise without forgetting. (PROVERBS 13:12)
Inside Out Project - Street artist JR
Moro de Providencia is a place of which the name has become synonymous for violence in Rio de Janeiro. However the reason this favela (shantytown) located in the center of Rio appeared on television screens in August 2008 wasn't the regular scenes of clashes between drug dealers and the police but to present the art exhibition Women. In order to pay tribute to those who play an essential role in society but who are the primary victims of war , crime, rape and political or religious fanaticism, JR pasted huge photos of the faces and eyes of local women all over the outside of the favela, suddenly giving a female gaze to both the hill and the favela.
Lol wtf?
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text:
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Radio host Alex Jones: 1776 Will Commence Again' If Guns Taken Away
Hera help me
Posted by viktor kerney at 8:00 AM
Labels: Alex Jones, gun control, Piers Morgan
3 comments:
- truthspew said...
Wow, Jones is an angry man. It came out around 2:30 in that video and he had occasional outburst throughout.
Bipolar much?
- January 8, 2013 at 9:14 AM
- R.J. said...
They grow 'em bigger in Texas. Nutjobs, too.
- January 8, 2013 at 11:08 AM
- Stan said...
This idiot is one good example of who should NOT own a gun or guns!
- January 8, 2013 at 5:38 PM
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