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This bed pad provided the coolest and most comfortable night's rest, earning it The Best rating from the Hammacher Schlemmer Institute. Using a cooling gel to absorb body heat, The Best pad's surface temperature rose only 1° F during eight hours of testing in an independent laboratory, while lesser pads became more than 40% hotter. Experts also criticized inferior models for being so narrow that they didn't cover the full width of a sleeper's back. In contrast, The Best Cooling Bed Pad was lauded for its generous size that spans the full width of a sleeper's body, with room to spare in the event of rolling over. The Best Pad requires no refrigeration or electricity, its non-slip texture prevents shifting whether placed above or below sheets, and its seamless gel filling doesn't emit disruptive "popping" sounds when laid upon like lesser pads. The pad's thin yet firm gel provides a comfortable sleeping surface and its 100% cotton fabric cover feels as soft against the skin as a bed sheet. Spot clean.
Shipping charges noted in parentheses apply in addition to our standard shipping & service.
We're sorry, but gift wrap is not available. Please call 1-800-395-7006 for Premium or Express delivery rates.
Oversized items scheduled for expedited delivery (Premium or Express) may incur additional shipping and services charges because of their unusual size. Please call 1-800-321-1484 for an estimate of S&S charges. International callers, please call 1-513-860-3397.
We're sorry, but gift wrap is not available for oversized items.
Shipped via truck and may require customer assistance upon delivery. You will be contacted to make an appointment for delivery.
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GST still applies and will be charged upon processing. For complete shipping & service charges please call Customer Service at 1-800-321-1484.
May we recommend:
(based on 8 reviews)
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Cooling Pad
By The Monster
from Highland Falls, NY
The product is very useful for those with night sweats. I sleep on it and I wake up refreshed and dry.
Bottom Line Yes, I would recommend this to a friend
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Was as represented
By MAC
from virginia
Had to return it as it was too heavy for me to manage and not soft enough to sleep on but was cool as advertised so was sorry to see it go!
Cool...then warm
By Titinabu
from Colorado
It cools me down as I crawl into bed at night. And in the middle of the night, it is warm where I have been sleeping and that is what I want then.
Great for menopause!!
By Daralyn
from Alberta, Canada
I bought the largest size. It works great to cool the core body temperature quickly and efficiently. The gel pad works especially good for afternoon naps, because the gel stays cool for a long time. At night I wake several times, and the gel under me does get quite warm, but I just roll over 6" or so and feel the cool gel again. I've positioned the gel pad lengthways so my entire body is on it. This is why I would like a larger/wider pad so I can roll over for cool gel again. But now I see in the picture it perhaps should be layed the other way so just the top of my body is on it, and I can roll over anywhere I want and get cold gel. (May try that but I love my legs cool too). The other thing is that it is quite firm, my son did not like it, but it is well worth the slight firmness for the results achieved. I have been using it just on top of the bottom sheet, I may try it under the sheet for more softness. With our exceptionally warm summer this year, and no air conditioning in our home, I was having trouble falling and staying asleep, but not now. This gel pad is a lifesaver. I may have to purchase a second one to lay beside it. I'm waiting for my gel pillow to come and I'll be in heaven.
Not the best pad
By The Gardner
from Southern Maine
Used the product several summer nights with the same result. The pad felt cool for an hour or so then was actually hotter then just sheets.Also it was supposed to stay flat but it bunched up during the night.
Bottom Line No, I would not recommend this to a friend
Hammacher Schlemmer Response: Thank you for your comments. The product is designed to pull your body heat away and store it into the pad - reducing the heat to cool a sleeper down.
Best Cooling Bed Pad
By honey
from west linn, oregon
I just had knee surgery and I sleep hot due to menopause. This pad has made my lying in bed recovering to be so much easier and comfortable, I am thrilled by this purchase.
By Lizz
from Peoria, IL
I was hoping to find something that would not absorb heat and stay hot. This was not the answer.I've returned the product.I'm still on a search for a new bed or a mattress pad that will not hold heat.
Hammacher Schlemmer Response: While we regret that this product didn't delight you, we are gratified that you choose to return it to us under our lifetime guarantee of satisfaction.
By Kted
from Ontario canada
Feels comfortable and durable
COPYRIGHT © 2014 HAMMACHER SCHLEMMER & COMPANY, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. W101HAMMACHER SCHLEMMER • 147 E. 57th ST • NEW YORK, NY • 10022 • 1-800-_321-1484


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Upcoming Conferences & Retreats
2014 Annual International Affirmation Conference – September 12-14, 2014
The 2014 Annual International Affirmation Conference – "This is The Place" – will be held Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, September 12-14 in Salt Lake City.
"Our 2013 conference was attended by over 400 people, many of whom said it was a transformational experience in their lives," says Affirmation President Randall Thacker. " We look forward to another gathering as LGBT Mormons, Families & Friends at the University of Utah Guesthouse & Conference Center this coming September."
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Videos & Books
Learn to stand up paddle or improve your SUP skills with the Ultimate Guide to Stand Up Paddling DVD. Follow the detailed step-by-step video instructions and you'll be on your way to mastering this ex...
Guide To Stand-Up Paddling DVD
High-quality safety/rescue video covers whitewater hazards, swimming, throw rope use, rescue vests and basic rescue skills.
Whitewater Self Defense DVD
In the Bracing Clinic, The Art of Staying Upright DVD, Wayne Horodowich of the University of Sea Kayaking teaches you all the paddle, body and boat moves needed to stay in your boat & enjoy paddling.
Bracing Clinic "The Art of Staying Upright" DVD
Anyone can grab a paddle, jump in a kayak and go. But if you want to get the most out of your strokes and avoid overuse injuries, good instruction is vital. Look no further than the Essential Kayaking...
Essential Kayaking Strokes DVD
Paddler Magazine's 2002 & 2003 'Best Instructional' Award Winner!
Ultimate Guide to Sea Kayaking DVD
Recreational Kayaking, the Essential Skills and Safety, is the perfect introductory video for new and developing kayakers. Learn all the basics about equipment, apparel, strokes and much more.
Recreational Kayaking - Skills and Safety DVD
In his Rolling a Kayak - Sea Kayaking DVD, World Champion kayaker and kayaking instructor Ken Whiting brings you clear and concise instruction on multiple rolling techniques in a sea kayak.
Ken Whiting's Rolling a Kayak - Sea Kayaking DVD
In Rolling a Kayak - Whitewater, World Champion kayaker and kayaking instructor Ken Whiting brings you clear and concise instruction on multiple rolling techniques in a whitewater kayak.
Ken Whiting's Rolling a Kayak - Whitewater DVD
Dr. Ben's New & Improved Rolling Elixir DVD is a great detailed instructional video with your host Ben Lawry, who will help you conquer and perfect your roll.
Dr. Ben's Rolling Elixir DVD
Whatever your ability, kayaking is a magical way to explore amazing places. To enjoy it to its fullest you will need to learn important elements of paddling technique, advanced strokes and safety.
Performance Kayaking: The Basics and Beyond DVD
The Kayak Roll demonstrates and explains a smooth and effortless roll. This two-part instructional is designed for every skill level, from beginner to teacher.
The Kayak Roll DVD
Let's get wet teaches the ABC's of whitewater rafting. Perfect whether you are a novice just starting out or a more experience rafter who wants to brush up on the basics.
Let's Get Wet DVD
Whitewater's history has as many twists and turns as the canyons its pioneers explored. The Call of the River features vintage canoeing and kayaking footage, in-depth interviews with eclectic pioneers...
The Call of the River DVD
Whether you enjoy small day trips around local lakes, overnight trips, or expeditions, seasoned instructor Andrew Westwood's clear breakdown of canoeing principles and skills make this DVD a must have...
Canoeing with Andrew Westwood DVD
The Facetime DVD blends high energy action segments on beautiful rivers around the world and insightful, beyond-the-cockpit interviews with some of kayaking's best-known personalities.
Facetime DVD
If you want to go big, Amplify! Amplify is an instructional DVD from EP that teaches the progression from the most basic freestyle moves to the latest in aerial kayaking.
Amplify DVD
This is the perfect companion to Sean Glaccum's guidebook, The Idaho Paddler. View exciting video footage of many of the whitewater runs described in the book.
Idaho Paddler DVD
The mother of all river adventures, the Grand Canyon! This DVD tells the story of the river and the people who love it. From Powell's first expedition to the present, all the history is here.
River Runners Grand Canyon DVD
Eastern Horizons explores thousands of miles of North America's east coast in pursuit of beautiful places, smiling faces and timeless stories that connect us with the sea.
Eastern Horizons DVD
Get inspired by the Pacific Horizons DVD. This film features intriguing kayakers, beautiful scenery, wildlife sightings and of course some awesome sea kayaking on the Northwest coast!
Pacific Horizons DVD
Not finding what you're looking for? Search the site above, or feel free to contact us directly.


text: MTX Terminator TN200/2 2-channel car amplifier 45 watts RMS x 2 at 4 ohms Zoom Front Right Photos Videos My vehicle's homepage We don't check this item for fit or compatibility. Item #: 236TN2002 Review Summary 10 people say Low Stock $139.99 Was: -$50.00 : Price Break Free Crutchfield lifetime tech support Free Shipping Your price $89.99 Add to cart + Add to wishlist Email me alerts for this product Buy this item and earn up to 90 Rewards points See more offers and ways to save Special Financing Available x By buying this product you'll earn up to 90 Rewards points. When you sign up for a Crutchfield account, you'll be enrolled in Crutchfield Rewards. You'll earn one point for every dollar you spend on gear from us. You can turn your points into Rewards Cards that you can use toward future purchases. You can sign up for an account now, or after you complete your purchase (you'll get credit for the points either way). Sign up for a Crutchfield account Overview Details Customer Reviews Q&A Articles & Videos Accessories Our take on the MTX Terminator TN200/2 by Gabrielle Thorndyke My system has plenty of power. Who needs an amp? You might think you don't need an amp because you have a 400-watt system in your car, or because your new stereo puts out 50 watts a channel. But those are peak wattage ratings, which may boil down to 15 or 20 watts per channel, using the more realistic RMS rating. An amp sends your speakers the power they need to deliver your music with clarity and impact, whether you're using factory speakers or high-performance components. And low-frequency reproduction requires lots of power, so an amp is an absolute must if you're adding a sub to your system. MTX Terminator amplifers make it easy to create a sweet-looking setup these gloss-black amps share the same size and shape, so they'll look great in a multi-amp installation. These amps deliver plenty of power to drive your speakers and subs, and you'll find all connections on one side of the amp so your wiring stays organized. The TN200/2 2-channel amplifier powers your speakers with 45 watts RMS per channel at 4 ohms, or you can drive a subwoofer with 150 watts RMS in bridged mode. The Active Fan Cooling system uses a variable-speed internal fan that increases its speed as you turn the volume up, then slows when you turn your volume down. This system keeps the amp running cool in every situation, while eliminating the need for a heavy heat sink. The Smart Engage feature turns the amp on automatically when it senses a signal through the speaker-level inputs, so you don't have to run a turn-on lead to your receiver. See more info on this item Highlights:2-channel car amplifier45 watts RMS x 2 at 4 ohms (75 watts RMS x 2 at 2 ohms)150 watts RMS x 1 in bridged mode (4-ohm stable in bridged mode)selectable full, high- and low-pass filters (85 Hz, 18 dB per octave)Active Fan Cooling with automatic variable fan speedSmart Engage turns on amp when signal arrives through the speaker-level inputsCEA-2006 compliantpreamp inputsfuse rating: 20A x 18-gauge power and ground leads recommended wiring and hardware not included with amplifier13-1/4"W x 2-5/16"H x 10-3/8"Dwarranty: 5 years (free repair or replacement for 2 years; prorated replacement for years 3 through 5)Our 60-day money-back guarantee Hands-on research from the Crutchfield Labs (what are the Labs?) Features and specs chart | What's in the box? | In-depth notes Features and Specs Performance RMS Power Output (Watts x Channels) 45 x 2 Peak Power Output (Watts x Channels) 150 x 2 Power at 2 Ohms (Watts x Channels) 75 x 2 Bridged Power (Watts x Channels) 150 x 1 Minimum Impedance Bridged 4 Minimum Impedance Unbridged 2 Best Frequency Response 20-20k Hz THD at Rated RMS Power 1% Signal to Noise Ratio 78 dB Input Voltage 14.4v Features Amplifier Class AB Low-Pass Crossover Frequency 85 Hz Low-Pass Slope (dB/octave) 18 dB High-Pass Crossover Frequency 85 Hz High-Pass Slope (dB/octave) 18 dB Bass Boost No Bass Boost Frequency N/A Fan Cooled Yes Fuse Rating 20 Speaker Level Inputs RCA Preamp Outputs No Width (inches) 10-3/8 Height (inches) 2-5/16 Depth (inches) 13-1/4 Parts Warranty 5 Years (3-5 Prorated) Labor Warranty 5 Years (3-5 Prorated) Product Research What's in the box? Download owner's manual 2-Channel amplifier with one 20A fuse installed in chassis Two 10' Speaker level to RCA adapters (each have on RCA connector on one end and bare tinned wire on other end) MTX Warranty Statement/Wiring diagram Amplifier Performance Certificate Our Product Research Team At Crutchfield, you'll get detailed, accurate information that's hard to find elsewhere. That's because we have our own in-house Product Research team — they open the box, verify contents, check the owner's manual, and record dimensions, features and specs. We stay on top of new products and technologies to help people make informed choices. Features Connections Warranty Features CEA-2006 Compliant: CEA-2006 is a new system of testing and measurement methods for mobile audio amplifiers. This voluntary standard advocates a uniform method for determining an amplifier's RMS power output and signal-to-noise ratio. The criteria for measuring power uses a DC input voltage of 14.4 volts and the RMS power output is measured into a 4-ohm load, with 1% or less Total Harmonic Distortion (THD) plus noise, and at a frequency range of 20 Hz to 20,000 Hz when applicable. Signal-to-Noise ratio is measured in weighted absolute decibels (dBA) at a reference of 1 watt into 4 ohms. CEA-2006 allows consumers to compare car amplifiers and receivers on an equal basis. The MTX Terminator TN200/2 under CEA-2006 regulations is rated at 45 Watts RMS x 2 channels with a 78dBA signal to noise ratio. 2-Ohm Stable: The MTX 2-channel amplifier is capable of handling load impedances down to 2-ohms. The amplifier is rated at 75 Watts RMS x 2 channels in 2 ohms with 1% THD. Bridgeable: The MTX Audio 2-channel amplifier can be bridged down to one channel to output 150 Watts x 1-channel at 4 ohm. Pure N-Channel MOSFET Design: The Terminator amplifier utilizes Pure N-Channel MOSFET technology for more linear speaker control, enhanced signal-to-noise ratio and more power. This design lets the audio signal travel through fewer parts making the output stage of the amplifier more efficient and giving you more usable power from the amp. Active Fan Cooling: Rather than weighing the amplifier down with heavy aluminum heat sinks, the Terminator amplifier is cooled using a variable speed internal fan. The increasing output of the amplifier engages the fan to automatically increase its speed allowing more cool air to enter the amplifier. This keeps the amplifier performing at its peak level longer and prevent the amplifier from having to into thermal shutdown due to overheating. The fan will automatically slow down when the amplifier's output is decreased. Crossovers: The Terminator TN200/2 features a selectable high-pass and low-pass 18dB/octave, 85Hz crossover. The crossover can also be set to full-range. Connections Power/Ground/Turn-On Connections: The TN200/2 features 0.5" wide Power, Ground, and Turn-On Lead screw terminals. These terminals will handle up to 4 AWG wire. RCA Inputs: The RCA type line-level inputs have gain (Input Sensitivity) control. The Input Sensitivity control will accept an input signal of 200mV to 4.0 Volts. Smart-Engage Speaker Level Input: The Terminator TN200/2 comes with a set of speaker level input harnesses. This feature makes it easier to add an amplifier to a factory radio or to a receiver with no preamp outputs. When using the speaker-level inputs, the amp automatically turns on when it senses signal from the head unit, eliminating the need for a remote turn-on connection. In many cases, this feature will allow you to install the amplifier without removing your radio. Speaker Outputs: The amplifier is equipped with two pairs of speaker terminals for connection of two pairs of speakers. The speaker terminals are 0.3125" screw terminals which will accommodate 12 to 8 AWG speaker wire. Fuse: The amplifier is equipped with one 20-Amp fuse.Warranty 5 Year Warranty Terms: This product carries a 5-Year Prorated Warranty with the following terms: Years 1-2: Products found to be defective in materials or workmanship during the first two years will be, at Mitek's option, repaired or replaced by Mitek at no charge. The warranty period does not renew, but continues on from the original date of purchase. Years 3-5: The purchase price of an item which becomes defective after the first two years and prior to the end of the warranty period will be prorated and credited toward the purchase of a new MTX product. The amount of proration is determined by dividing the original purchase price by the number of months in the warranty period (60), then multiplying the result by the number of months remaining in the warranty period. Review this product Submit a review and then enter to win a $500 rewards card MTX Terminator TN200/2 Reviews Average Customer Review: 10 people say: Review this product: Thanks for taking the time to share your experiences about this product. Please be sure to focus your comments on the product itself. Read our Review Guidelines for more information. Review title * Email Your email won't be visible. Please use the email address that is associated with your order. Display name (e.g., JohnD) Your review will be signed using the display name and location * Your location (e.g., Charlottesville, VA) * Your rating Click on a star to rate the overall product on a scale of 1-5 1500 characters left * Your review Attach a YouTube Review Crutchfield Video Review Guidelines Only submit videos that you made or are authorized to use. Do not submit videos that contain music, video or visuals that are copyrighted and belong to someone else. Please see our Review Guidelines for more information. Submit the URL of your YouTube™ video review or product demonstration. e.g., "http://www.youtube.com/v/o79TWHh598U" 500 characters left Pros 500 characters left Cons * Agree to Terms By checking this box you agree your review becomes the property of Crutchfield, that you are over 18 years of age, that you own or have owned this product, and that you are located within the United States or its territories. Please see our Review Guidelines for more information. We reserve the right (but are not obligated to) review all submissions and edit or remove any review in any manner which we deem necessary. Your review should be posted within seven days. Filter by rating: 5 Star: (0) 4 Star: (0) 3 Star: (0) 2 Star: (0) 1 Star: (0) 5 out of 5 Great Amp! Written By Scott, Spring Run, PA on Sunday, June 29, 2014 Crutchfield Customer Review (What's this?) I needed an amp that was bridgeable to power one 10" sub for my Camaro. This one fit the bill perfectly. This was my first MTX product but had friends that had good luck with their stuff. It was on sale so I decided to take a chance. This thing has plenty of power for my application. I even had to keep turning the gain down because it was just overpowering the rest of the stereo system. I give it 2 thumbs up. Pros: Easy wiring. Didn't even need to use a remote wire for turning it on and off. Cons: It's a little on the larger side so finding a spot for it in my car was slightly challenging but not a big deal. Was this review helpful? Yes | No 5 out of 5 Love it Written By Justin, Tulsa on Wednesday, February 19, 2014 Crutchfield Customer Review (What's this?) Needed a replacement for my old kenwood 2 channel, seen this one, only one in its class I seen with a fan. I use it to run two door speakers, nothing crazy, but it does the job perfectly, crisp, clean power. Pros: Fan cooled, cost, appearance. Cons: No clip light that I could tell or find. Was this review helpful? Yes | No 3 out of 5 Meh not impressed Written By Negolien, Sacramento,ca on Tuesday, February 11, 2014 Crutchfield Customer Review (What's this?) Well it does what it says irt will but the things bigger than my monoblock pushing 1000 watts. My bad for not looking at dimensions but who would have though a 45/150 would be 13 inches long and 10 inches wide... Pros: Nice for 4x6's really matched my Polks well power wise. Would rather have big heatsinks thing can get hot in a trunk with 2 other amps and a box of 12's. SO it's blowing hot air around woohoo 0.o Cons: Ginormous monstrosity. 1 out of 1 people found this helpful Was this review helpful? Yes | No 4 out of 5 MTX Terminator TN200/2 Written By Anonymous, Rowland Heights, CA on Friday, September 06, 2013 Crutchfield Customer Review (What's this?) Great Product and Price!! Plenty of power for my 2 -- 8" subs. Very easy install paired with a JVC head unit. Pros: Big power for little cost!! 1 out of 2 people found this helpful Was this review helpful? Yes | No 5 out of 5 MTX Terminator TN200/2 Written By Anonymous, Atlanta, GA on Friday, August 02, 2013 Crutchfield Customer Review (What's this?) Great value Was this review helpful? Yes | No 4 out of 5 Works great Written By Anonymous, Iowa on Sunday, July 28, 2013 Crutchfield Customer Review (What's this?) A great amp for the money Cons: It would be nice to have more adjustments 1 out of 1 people found this helpful Was this review helpful? Yes | No 4 out of 5 Great product for the price Written By Jeep Mack, Nashville, TN on Wednesday, May 22, 2013 Crutchfield Customer Review (What's this?) Great product. Was actually looking at a less expensive amp to power a 10" sub in a "not so secure" Jeep Wrangler, but noticed this amp after a price reduction. Better product for less money - (probably too good for the Jeep). Pros: Quick shipping, easy to install, works great Cons: A littler larger than what I was expecting 2 out of 2 people found this helpful Was this review helpful? Yes | No 4 out of 5 Good value & sound Written By Anthony W, Hazlehurst Ga on Tuesday, April 23, 2013 Crutchfield Customer Review (What's this?) Good solid construction on this amplifier. For the price im pleased overall with the package good solid terminal connections,clear realistic sound through the 6x9s im powering,and good looks(in my opinion).The only gripes I have are the lack of an adjustable crossover frequency (only has high, low and full setting switch) and the lack of literature may pose issues for novices(only comes with a birthsheet and a one page basic installation sheet. Overall I cant complain at all for the price and performance. Would recommend for anyone needing power for a basic sound system without breaking the bank. Pros: solid construction, good terminal connections,good sound quality,great value Cons: none 1 out of 1 people found this helpful Was this review helpful? Yes | No 5 out of 5 By far the best for your money! Written By Pontman43, Oakley, CA on Tuesday, May 26, 2009 I bought this amp to power two kicker comp 12s as a temporary amp until i could afford a better one. Everyone told me it was not enough to power both subs good... well they were wrong! I bought it and got it all installed locally and the installers could not believe the output. If your just looking for some bass this is what you need. Only con about this amp is it doesn't have a output for a remote bass adjustment thing. Compared to my other setup in my other car, which was a $800 momo 1000watt amp and a infinity kappa perfect 10" sub, my cheap set up using this amp hits almost as hard and clean. I cannot tell you how pleased I am with this amp. I'm going to buy another one soon for my other car... BUY THIS AMP! Don't waste your money on an expensive one... 8 out of 10 people found this helpful Was this review helpful? Yes | No 5 out of 5 I am pleased Written By Traci, Chicago, IL on Thursday, April 09, 2009 With this being the first time I have ever tried to upgrade a sound system I have to say that Crutchfield was very helpful and answered any questions I had. Chip was my advisor and all I can say is thanks! I have a '04 Jeep Wrangler that had the original 7 speaker sound system. My gf bought me a new head unit and had it installed for me for Christmas. It was time to upgrade. I installed the Terminator with a Sony Xplod 10' subwoofer with a truck enclosure. The Terminator was very easy to install and with Chips help of getting the correct wiring I had it installed in no time. I was very shocked and amazed at the output of the amp when I hooked up the sub. I really get a great sound! I didnt think the amp was strong enough to successfully drive the sub but it was beautiful match! Thanks Crutchfield and Chip for all your help and support through this new experience! 7 out of 8 people found this helpful Was this review helpful? Yes | No Add accessories for the MTX Terminator TN200/2 Add Accessories Add a Warranty You'll need an amp wiring kit to install your new amplifier, as wiring is not included. See all categories & accessories You'll need an amp wiring kit to install your new amplifier, as wiring is not included. Single-amp Wiring Kits Bring the music from your amp to your speakers. Speaker Wire Patch cables take the music from your stereo to the amplifier. Most amp wiring kits don't include them. RCA Patch Cables & Adapters Helps protect your car's charging system and improves power handling. Required power and ground wires not included with cap. Capacitors The right tools will make the installation easier. Tools Connectors Have your new amplifier put in by a qualified professional in your area. Professional Installation T-Spec 8PK Installation Kit 8-gauge amplifier wiring kit includes speaker wire 6 people say Your Price: $59.99 Add to Cart Rockford Fosgate RFK8 8-gauge amplifier power wiring kit 6 people say Your Price: $64.99 Add to Cart Rockford Fosgate RFK8i 8-gauge amplifier power and signal wiring kit 30 people say Your Price: $74.99 Add to Cart Kicker PK8 8-gauge amplifier power wiring kit 1 person says Your Price: $79.99 Add to Cart EFX PA8BX Wiring Kit 8-gauge amplifier wiring kit — includes 2-channel patch cable Your Price: $49.99 Add to Cart T-Spec 16-gauge Speaker Wire Black/white jacket priced per foot 13 people say Your Price: $0.69 Add to Cart T-Spec 12-gauge Speaker Wire Black/white jacket priced per foot 29 people say Your Price: $1.99 Add to Cart Stinger PRO Series Speaker Wire Priced per foot (16 Gauge) Options 16 Gauge-$0.39 14 Gauge-$0.65 Priced per foot (16 Gauge) Priced per foot (14 Gauge) 50 people say Your Price: $0.39 Add to Cart T-Spec 2-Channel RCA Patch Cables Available in 7 different lengths (20-foot) Options 1.5-foot-$9.99 3-foot-$10.99 6-foot-$12.99 10-foot-$14.99 14-foot-$17.99 17-foot-$19.99 20-foot-$20.99 Available in 7 different lengths (1.5-foot) Available in 7 different lengths (3-foot) Available in 7 different lengths (6-foot) Available in 7 different lengths (10-foot) Available in 7 different lengths (14-foot) Available in 7 different lengths (17-foot) Available in 7 different lengths (20-foot) 25 people say Your Price: $20.99 Add to Cart EFX 17-foot RCA Patch Cable 54 people say Your Price: $7.99After $2.00 Price Break Add to Cart T-Spec Capacitor 1.5-farad capacitor with red LCD meter 11 people say Your Price: $79.99 Add to Cart Metra Crimp Tool and Connectors Package contains crimp tool and over 150 pieces 15 people say Your Price: $19.99 Add to Cart S&G Wire Cutter/Stripper Tool Cuts and strips 12- to 22-gauge wire 15 people say Your Price: $19.99 Add to Cart S&G Tool Aid 87615 Window and Door Clip Removal Tool 12 people say Your Price: $7.99 Add to Cart S&G Tool Aid 87650 Door Trim and Panel Removal Tool 68 people say Your Price: $9.99 Add to Cart Pro.Fit Hook Tool Set Installation tools pair 9 people say Your Price: $6.49 Add to Cart Pro.Fit Trim Panel Tool Remove your vehicle's trim panels without damage 87 people say Your Price: $5.99 Add to Cart Pro.Fit Wire Worm Installation tool helps route wiring through tight spaces 31 people say Your Price: $12.99 Add to Cart Bojo Trim Panel Tools Set of 6 pry tools helps remove interior and exterior trim and door panels 52 people say Your Price: $24.99 Add to Cart Spec Tools SQR-200a Squeeze Wrench Narrow space ratchet kit with 18 sockets 1 person says Your Price: $49.99 Add to Cart Bojo Trim Panel Tools Set of 6 pry tools helps remove interior and exterior trim and door panels 2 people say Your Price: $29.99 Add to Cart DEI Heat Shrink Tubing Black 4-foot length (Assortment) 6 people say Your Price: $24.99 Add to Cart InstallCard: Amp or Equalizer Prepaid professional amplifier or EQ installation 17 people say Your Price: $79.99 Add to Cart Why choose SquareTrade? The #1-Rated Protection Plan Thousands of people have reviewed SquareTrade Protection Plans — and made us #1. 5-Day Service Guarantee & Free Shipping We'll repair or replace your item in five business days or less after we've received it, or your plan is free. And, as always, we pay for all shipping. Protection from Normal, Everyday Use Repairing your average mechanical or electrical failure can cost as much as buying a new device. With SquareTrade, you're covered — including parts and labor. 3 Year Protection Plan Your Price: $14.99 Add to Cart For a more in-depth review and enhanced detailed information on the MTX Terminator TN200/2, please visit the Crutchfield website product page (/ISEO-rccbcspd/p_236TN2002/MTX-Terminator-TN200-2.html ). × Front Right Searches related to the MTX Terminator TN200/2 2-channel car amplifier 45 watts RMS x 2 at 4 ohms MTX MTX Car Amplifiers Car Amplifiers under $100 MTX Terminator TN200/2 reviews MTX Terminator TN200/2 vs Alpine KTP-445A Power Pack MTX Terminator TN200/2 vs Jensen DUBa2100 MTX Terminator TN200/2 vs Kicker 40KX200.2


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There have been mixed reactions to Anne Hathaway playing Catwoman in the upcoming Batman film. Do you think she can pull the role off? Check out some shots of her in character after the cut and let us know!
What do you think of Anne as Catwoman?
There have been mixed reactions to Anne Hathaway playing Catwoman in the upcoming Batman film. Do you think she can pull the role off? Check out some shots of her in character after the cut and let us know!
What do you think of Anne as Catwoman?
sunflower / 382 posts
The stills make her seem like she's not as confident and …sly as I would like Catwoman to be.
Compared to say, Halle Berry or Michelle Pfeiffer, who really made her charismatic and enchanting to watch.
I still love Anne Hathaway and won't judge until the movie's out ^_^
Seriously? I dislike her as Catwoman. Too sweet.
It will be interesting to see a dif type of actress play catwoman. I like Anne Hathaway. I need to go back and watch the old movies to see how the other actresses were. I really feel like the Dark Knight was the best batman movie to date. Of course, the joker is gone, but maybe the directors and everyone else can build on that and this next movie will be great.
She is a pretty good actress, so maybe she can pull the role off. We'll see.
ranunculus / 3457 posts
I hope she makes a good bitch, Catwoman's character is not weak or sweet.
hydrangea / 76 posts
hmichelle phieffer will always be the best
I'm not a fan of Hathaway in general so I don't think she'll pull off Catwoman that well.
sunflower / 353 posts
I don't see it. I will always look at Anne Hathaway and think, "Princess Diaries."
Should have been Angelina.
Well, she looks hot so we'll see.
noooo not at all. she's all too disney princess-y…
she's not confident, sly, clever, and sexy as catwoman should be…this fact is the only turn-off about the upcoming batman movie :/
I don't know if she'll be good or not, but I don't really get the whole "just a sweet Disney princess" thing. Have any of you seen "Rachel Getting Married" or her role in "Brokeback Mountain"? She's made more than two movies, you know.
orchid / 217 posts
Michelle Pfeiffer is the best Catwoman, hands down.
I feel that Anne Hathaway won't be able to bring a believable bitch factor to the role, and from what I've seen in the trailers for the movie, I feel that her acting is too fake-mean for me to take her seriously in the role of a villain. I mean, taunting Bruce Wayne for his wealth? Nah, she's should be too busy thinking up ways to create mayhem for Batman to care about what Rich Boy is doing. Also, I like the mental-break that Michelle Pfeiffer went through to transform into Catwoman. Is that going to be part of the movie, so will Miss Hathaway's role not document the change?
Sorry, I like the idea of Catwoman starting out as a mousy little woman and then turning into a fantastic, strong bitch.
I won't be happy unless she taser-kisses someone.
i love her, and i think it will be incredible. people seriously underestimate her, i think. she's super versatile: princess diaries to rachel getting married, anyone?
I think Anne Hathaway as an actress is okay. She's not the best, but she isn't too bad either. I don't think she'll be a good Catwoman though. She doesn't have a background of being sly or anything like the character of Catwoman.
I think she can pull it off. I mean i'm pretty sure we're not the only ones who are worried, the directors must have thought about her sweet girl image and characters before choosing her.
This is the worst casting ever. I would've used a sophisticated blonde for Selena Kyle. Anne Hathaway is a wonderful actress but not dark and mysterious enough.
I really like Anne I just don't think she is sexy and/or tough, at all…
@Six_Days_Divided_by_Blondville@xanga - and Havoc. She gets gang-banged in that movie.
Just because she has a tendency to play "sweet" or "innocent" rolls doesn't mean she is stuck there forever. Good for her for taking on a roll completely different from what she's used to. I think everyone is just being to negative about it. She's Catwoman in the movie, not Anne Hathaway.
I love her but that costume looks like shit… especially the mask.
And the movie itself seems fucking atrocious.
i like anne hathaway so i think she'll be great!
How about we wait until we all see the movie before we decide whether she will do well or not. I am not psychic and therefore cannot foresee the future. This may actually be one of the most pointless posts that I've ever read on Xanga other than the one that I am writing right now in response to said post.
sunflower / 338 posts
No doubt in my mind that she'll pull this off beautifully.
She's got the look. But she resembles the older Cat woman (I forgot her name). This new cat woman is beautiful but can she stand the test of Gotham?
orchid / 165 posts
she looks like a portrayal of a classic 1950s cat woman. refreshing.
I would have loved to see Keira Knightley as catwomen!
First, Julie Newmar is still the best actress ever to have played Catwoman.
That said, all I can say about Anne Hathaway is . . . MEOW. She looks purrrrfect.
Good for her for choosing a role she isn't usually used to playing!
I can't really picture her as this… but maybe she'll do a good job.
BUT SERIOUSLY. Another Batman movie?! Also the outfit looks atrocious.
Physically, she look's more the part then the other two…
It's hard to say I could see her play the actually role as sly as she should but I can't really say till I see it.
hydrangea / 97 posts
I reserve the right to reserve judgment until I see the movie this summer!
…but for the record, I don't think a real-life Catwoman would be wearing heels.
@Julianna Hedberg@facebook - Right – People initially had fits about Ledger being cast as The Joker.
She's going to be awesome.
sunflower / 332 posts
Halle Berry was a better catwoman, without a doubt. As much as I like Anne Hathaway's acting, there are just some roles that weren't made for her type of personality. She doesn't look convincing at all in the photos and she still carries that "Air" of the white queen from tim burton's alice in wonderland. Catwoman is a bitch, period, she likes to do whatever she feels like doing and she doesn't give a damn what anybody else may think because she thinks she's the shit. Anne dear, this role isn't for you, you're making catwoman look like a sweetie…and that's just wrong.
I'm sorry, but no.
She is a "cute" and "dorky" actress. She cannot pull off the sly, sexy, seductive character – everything that Catwoman is.
It really irritates me to even see the pictures. She doesn't come across at all as confident, sure, powerful. She looks like a dorky, silly little lady playing dress up.
…I don't understand how anyone could stand up for Halle Berry playing "Catwoman".
She hardly resembled any aspect of Selena Kyle of the comic books. Same with the story of that atrocious movie.
Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman, while superior to Berry's Catwoman… Still misses the mark a bit when you look at the character from the comic books.
As for Hathaway… She has the Kyle look. I think Christopher Nolan will give us a more accurate depiction of Catwoman. And while I think Hathaway has been just a decent actress, she actually seems pretty damn good in this.
Maybe batwoman (the brunette librarian) instead?
lily / 5148 posts
She did beautifully in the movie. ;D


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Hi all, my first post (and I appologise in advance as I assume you get these questions all the time), but I would like to aquire your expertese if I may?
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What do I owe my in-laws? That's an interesting question. Another way to phrase it might be, "As a son-in-law or daughter-in-law, what's required of me? What are my obligations, whether I feel like it or not, in relating to my spouse's parents?"
Put this way, it doesn't sound like a very warm or relaxed relationship. It sounds more like your in-laws are a burden in your life. Perhaps you feel caught between trying to please them (or trying to avoid offending them) on the one hand, and just wanting to be yourself or wanting your own "space" on the other.
The first principle that applies here is that, if you're a Christian, you owe your in-laws behavior that's consistently Christian in character—as you do anyone else. This doesn't ignore the reality that if your in-laws are "difficult" people, are controlling and manipulative, are emotionally or mentally dysfunctional, or don't share your faith, this may be a particularly hard challenge. The problem is that they're not just anyone. They're connected to your spouse through genetics, history, and complex psychological dynamics.
If you have disagreements with your in-laws, your spouse may feel caught in the middle between parents and you. You, meanwhile, have obligations to in-laws and spouse—and children, if you have any.
If you feel your in-laws are intruding into your married life, the old saying, "Good fences make good neighbors," may apply. In concert with your mate, set reasonable boundaries; ask that he or she firmly and kindly insist that your in-laws respect these limits.
"Honoring" one's parents (Exodus 20:12) does require showing them patience, kindness, gentleness, and respect. This applies to in-laws, too. You may not even like them, but you need to choose to act in a loving manner toward them. For instance, you might choose to adopt their tradition of having an Easter egg hunt, despite the fact that you don't want your kids to think the Easter bunny is real. Enjoying the family event is possible, even if you follow it with a reminder to the children about the real meaning of the holiday.
When you married, you also became part of another family with its own set of expectations. You need to recognize and respect those—within limits.
What are those limits? Here are three things that "honoring" your in-laws does not mean:
Sometimes the most honoring response is to diplomatically but firmly say, "No." Letting in-laws split, manipulate, or control you by silently acceding to their nutty, neurotic, inappropriate demands isn't necessarily showing Christian love.
In-law conflicts grow more complicated when a spouse seems to side with his or her parents and against his or her mate. The mate may rightly feel outnumbered or "ganged up on."
This isn't so much an in-law problem as a marital one. If one spouse remains too dependent upon his or her parents, that needs to be addressed in a straightforward way. If one spouse is blaming the in-laws for a disagreement the couple is experiencing, that should be dealt with, too.
If you've become engaged in a quiet (or not so quiet) war with your in-laws—and maybe also with your spouse—about these tangled issues, don't let it erode your marriage further. Do the healthy thing and seek out a Christian therapist.
Myth: After marriage, my relationship with his parents will be the same as when we were dating.
Reality: In a family's eyes, being his girlfriend or fiancée is totally different from being his wife. Walking down the aisle is the first of many steps you will take toward becoming a part of your extended family. Having a healthy relationship with your spouse's parents may take work, but in time it can prove to be a fulfilling and loving connection.
Myth: Once we get married, my wife and I will be free of our parents' control.
Reality: Marriage is supposed to be an act of leaving and cleaving, yet it's often hard for parents to let go. In the first few years of marriage (and unfortunately for some couples, much farther into the future) parents are often prone to give endless advice — and to expect their children to follow their every suggestion or demand. Though at times this counsel may be solicited by a young, naive couple, if and when it becomes the beacon for all decision making, parents and their married children must recognize the need for boundaries.
Myth: Even though I don't like my in-laws now, I'll feel more like loving them after the marriage.
Reality: Love is a decision, not an emotion. And this holds true for in-laws. You may never feel like loving them. And they may never seem deserving of it. If you didn't like her folks to begin with, the wedding won't change anything. The only thing you can change is your attitude toward them. Start by extending respect, and give love a chance to grow. Remember, by loving her parents, you're loving her.
Myth: I won't have to deal with my in-laws much after the wedding.
Reality: Starting your marriage with this misconception is a recipe for frustration. In-laws are closely connected by more than DNA. You're looking at family reunions, grandparents wanting to spend time with grandchildren, the responsibility to care for aging parents and visits in each other's homes. By readying yourself for the possibility of frequent interaction with extended family, you're in a better position to transform your attitude.
Myth: My in-laws will be totally annoying, intrusive people who will attempt to ruin my marriage.
Reality: Not everyone's mother-in-law is the stereotypical, nosy matriarch portrayed on television sitcoms. And even if you find that your in-laws are overbearing, it's worth it to your spouse (and your marriage) to find their good points and love them for who they are: the people who gave life to your mate. Rather than a complete nuisance, in-laws can be a great blessing: last-minute baby-sitting, heart-to-heart talks, time-tested advice, unconditional love and more. Though you may experience the occasional bump in the road, in-law relationships can ultimately be a great addition to your life and family.
In-law relationships need a touch of civility. Consider the story of Stephanie, who complained, "My mother-in-law never approves of the way I do anything. The last time Joe and I visited her it happened again. Just trying to be nice and helpful, I washed all the pots and pans after dinner. No sooner had I finished than she washed them all over again!"
Stephanie is not a newlywed. She has been married to Joe for 15 years. That whole time, she and Joe's mom have silently struggled with being civil to each other. When Joe's mom comes to visit, Stephanie really tries to get the house clean and comfortable for her. But after arriving, her mother-in-law pulls out the cleaning supplies and spit shines the bathrooms and kitchen. Stephanie assumes she's doing this because she thinks Stephanie is a slob and lives in filth.
After the last pots-and-pans fiasco, Stephanie spilled her frustrations to Joe's older sister, Connie. "I know your mother hates me and thinks I'm a slob and a bad person. I can't seem to do anything to please her."
Connie replied, "Stephanie, it's not about you. It's about Mom's compulsion to have everything spotless. I grew up with her. I know her. She was like this before you and Joe even met. When she rewashes the pots and pans, it's not condemning you — it's simply that she had different (and what most would consider absurd) standards of what is acceptably clean. Let it go. There are bigger hills to die on."
While Stephanie couldn't really forget it and totally let it go, she did begin to look at her mother-in-law in a different light. She began to try to find ways to help that didn't involve meeting her mother-in-law's high standard of cleanliness — like running to the grocery store for milk or dropping off the dry cleaning and laundry. Stephanie will probably never have a close relationship with her mother-in-law, but these days they are much more civil to each other.
As you keep civility a high priority in your extended family relationships, it becomes easier to focus on another effective way of dealing with anger and frustration — remaining calm. What 1 Corinthians 13 says about love can also be true for civility. This really works: Try reading the love passage and substituting the word civility or civil. If you can succeed in remaining civil, you also up your chances of remaining calm even when you are so upset you could just spit nails.
Adapted from Pier Forni, Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct.
Heather and Steve have been married almost four years. They love each other very much, but relationships with their in-laws have always been strained.
Heather feels Steve's mother is overly critical of how Heather parents the children. She also gets upset over her mother-in-law's statements about how Steve works much too hard; she sees them as attacks on her choice to be a stay-at-home mom.
Steve has great difficulty connecting with his father in-law, who seems to live for sports. When Steve and Heather visit his in-laws, Steve is especially disturbed to see Heather share her father's sports mania — leaving Steve feeling like an outsider.
It's normal to want to be accepted by your in-laws. But feeling that you need to be accepted can bring complications, causing you to be uncomfortable and unnatural around them.
Unrealistic hopes cause problems, too. Many parents are initially over-protective of their own child, or have expectations that no spouse can meet in the beginning.
Often new husbands and wives assume they'll be loved and accepted by in-laws on the merit of having married the in-laws' child. This may be the case, but it usually takes time to establish trust and respect. Just as it takes time to build other close relationships, gaining acceptance into a family doesn't happen instantly.
After all, you're stepping into a family with a long history of established bonds. Don't be too hard on yourself and expect too much. If your relationship with your own parents is wonderful, the one with your mother- and father-in-law may never measure up. If your relationship with your parents isn't good, you may be too needy and demanding in trying to make up for it.
The number-one factor in resolving problems of acceptance by in-laws is your spouse's support. As with all close relationships, it's an art to support your spouse without jumping into the fight or feeding his or her discontent.
Let's say that Heather and Steve have just returned from an extended visit with his parents. She declares: "I never want to stay with your parents again! Why doesn't your mother like me? She told me that she had you potty trained by age two and that you obeyed her without question."
In this case, Heather is being a little overdramatic and overly sensitive. How can Steve support her without reinforcing her exaggeration or condemning his mom?
He could say something like this: "Honey, I'm so sorry that you feel hurt by the things my mom says. But I know you're a terrific mother, and she'll come to see that, too. She also seems to remember me as much more perfect than I was. I can remember plenty of frustration and grief, but it's probably good that she doesn't remember all the tough times. I'll always support you in finding a time to share your feelings with my mom. I really think she likes you and can't help but love you as time goes on."
Or imagine that Ken has the complaint. "I don't want to spend more than one day at your parents' house ever again," he says. "I always feel like a third wheel. I know your dad hates the fact that I don't enjoy sports. You and he seem to be in your own little 'sports world.' What am I supposed to do, spend my time helping your mom in the kitchen?"
Heather might respond by reassuring Ken along these lines: "I'm so sorry that I haven't been more sensitive to your feelings of being left out during those times. You're right — sports has been the major thing dad and I share. I know even Mom has felt a little left out when we obsess about it. Let's see if we can think of ways to connect when we're at my parents — all of us, including my mom. I know my dad primarily cares how I'm loved and taken care of, and there's no question about those things in my mind. Please give me a little sign if I forget it next time."
When it comes to dealing with an in-law who doesn't seem to accept you, here are the main principles to remember:
One more idea: When confronted with what feels like a no-win situation involving an in-law, use the "drop the rope" theory. Imagine a rope, the kind used in a tug-of-war. If you find yourself provoked, see that rope in your hands. You can choose to continue yanking on it — or drop it. Dropping it may sound as though you're giving in or giving up, but it's actually very empowering. It's also much more effective than tugging back and forth.
For Ken and Heather, a solution may look something like this:
As a result, each of them feels more loved and supported. That helps them enjoy getting to know and appreciate each other's parents.
Since we no longer have a traditional rite of passage in which a young person officially enters adulthood, marriage often ends up serving that role by default. Sometimes, though, even marriage doesn't trigger an appropriate emotional separation from a parent.
If parent and adult child are enmeshed in an unhealthy way, there can be runners of that vine throughout the marriage—gradually choking it to death. A prime example: the married daughter who still allowed her mother to balance her and her husband's joint checking account!
It helps if both sets of parents give the new couple their blessing—thereby affirming the newlyweds' independence. While this may seem unnecessary with today's career-delayed first marriages and blended second or third marriages, it's a valuable gift for any husband and wife.
If you believe an in-law is trying to run your life, consider how the following principles might help.
Scripture directs us to honor parents (Deuteronomy 5:16; Matthew 15:4). Their wisdom, years of sacrifice, and role in the family are reasons to respect them in our hearts and our actions.
Obeying parents, however, is clearly time-limited. If we're still trying to obey Mom and Dad, we're not leaving them and cleaving to our spouse. While it may be difficult to defy their spoken or unspoken wishes, there may be times when it's necessary.
Take, for example, the question of where to live. Some parents attempt inappropriate—though sometimes well meaning—control over their adult children in this area. Promises of houses or land ("Adjoining ours, of course!") or simply taking the children hostage emotionally ("You can't move our grandchildren away from us!") can result in significant generational strain. This and other issues must be dealt with quickly and directly, lest the marriage suffer the consequences.
Healthy parents have many opportunities to do this. Decisions about grandchildren, finances, careers, and many other important issues are chances to honor adult children's autonomy.
The need for respect goes both ways, of course. Healthy sons- and daughters-in-law attend responsibly to their new duties, making sure issues like money and child care aren't dumped in their parents' laps—on purpose or by default.
Sometimes spouses need to ask for their parents' respect—even if it's uncomfortable to do so. If a controlling parent is sharing private information without permission, raging verbally, or otherwise acting inappropriately, it's up to the adult children to ask the parent to observe safe relational boundaries.
Especially when a first child marries, it's common for all involved to have immature expectations. Visions of "one big happy family" can quickly turn to disillusionment, as each generation operates from its own perspective.
Assumptions lead to misunderstandings. Parents shouldn't assume that because they've always liked a particular brand of car, their kids will want to buy the same. Husbands and wives shouldn't assume Mom and Dad will do all the cooking at Thanksgiving.
When things break down on either side of the generation gap, a third party may be helpful. While not trying to provoke a feud, spouses should solidly back each other and respond as a team. Mediation should be God-honoring and principle-centered, and should support the marriage.
For mild or short-term conflict, one side might let the other choose a trusted minister or other third party that all can agree on. In the case of more complex, severe, or ongoing conflict, the services of a professional counselor will be valuable.
Some participants may see mediation as embarrassing or meddlesome. Encourage them to view it as a chance to cooperate for the good of the entire family. If total agreement isn't reached, that's okay; the goal isn't a merger of the generations, but a partnership between them.
Dealing respectfully but firmly with a controlling in-law takes fortitude, especially on the part of the son or daughter whose parent is the offender.
"Julie, you'll never believe it!" exclaimed Susan. "Tom wants his parents to come live with us!"
"Whoa, Susan," Julie replied. "Slow down. Tell me what exactly is going on here. What did Tom say?"
Susan took a deep breath. "Well, the other night we were talking about our finances, and the kids, and how things are really tight right now. He thought it would be a good idea for his parents to move in with us to share some of the expenses. Maybe we could even charge them rent, or the kids could stay with them instead of going to day care. Julie, I just can't believe it!"
Julie wondered why Susan was so upset. After all, having extended families live together wasn't exactly a new idea. "In Bible days, multiple generations lived together all the time," Julie said. "Just because we don't usually do it here, I don't quite understand why you're so freaked out."
The resentment in Susan's voice was clear. "Well, it would be just one more way for his mom and dad to try to influence our decisions."
"Oh! The issue is about boundaries and leaving and cleaving."
"Oh, yeah," Susan said with sarcasm. "We have a real problem with the 'leave and cleave' thing."
Susan and Tom aren't the only couple to have a problem in this area. Genesis 2:24 says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." The King James Version calls being united "cleaving." This refers to God's invention of a unique bond between husband and wife that's not to be compromised by their relationship with their parents.
Does this mean that we cut ourselves off from our families of origin? Not if they're reasonably healthy. Maintaining relationships with our parents usually is beneficial. But problems arise if factors like the following are present:
Let's take a closer look at these and what you can do about them.
Decision-making dysfunction. Couples need the freedom and autonomy to make their own decisions. Some parents are better than others in this area; many wait for their adult children to ask for advice, but others try to inject unsolicited wisdom. The latter are often deeply caring people who want the best for their children, but their behavior communicates a lack of respect and trust in the judgment of their child and his or her spouse.
Family history can make this difficult water to navigate. Some spouses are used to asking their parents for direction; others make decisions more independently. If you and your mate have different habits on this score, conflict may result.
If you're frustrated because your spouse consults with his or her parents on decisions more than you'd like, the two of you need to work through this issue. If you feel threatened by your spouse's behavior, share that diplomatically but honestly. Talk about how the two of you would like decision making to work. Would you prefer that the two of you make choices without getting input from either set of parents? Are there some decisions you'd ask one set of parents about, but not the other?
Be aware that asking for parents' advice can be a slippery slope. It may leave them feeling the door is open for them to give you input into other areas, or even to "correct" decisions you've already made.
Credit each other and your in-laws with goodwill toward your marriage unless they've demonstrated otherwise. Sadly, some in-laws don't seem to have a vested interest in the success of their child's marriage. If this is true of you, you and your mate may want to recommit yourselves to "leaving and cleaving." You may also need to seek professional advice to determine how best to establish and maintain appropriate boundaries with your in-laws.
Emotional apron strings. If your spouse gets his or her emotional needs met in his or her relationship with parents instead of with you, there's a problem. You may even feel as if your spouse is having an affair.
Sometimes this problem begins when a wife feels frustrated over her husband's seeming lack of interest in conversing about her day; she starts talking with her parents instead. Sometimes the husband is the frustrated one; it's common for mother and son to have long or frequent conversations that leave the wife feeling ignored. Neither scenario is appropriate.
Respect for each other is the key. In this situation, respect might require that the spouse maintaining an overly close relationship with his or her parents will decrease that contact in order to show love for the spouse. For example, a son whose mother is too close might say, "Mom, let's limit our conversations to once a week about general things." Or he may simply make the change himself, explaining it only if his mother asks him about it. In either case he would do well to save discussions of his goals and disappointments for times with his wife; these are the things that build intimacy in a marriage.
This is not to suggest that children and parents should cut off their relationship under the guise of leaving and cleaving. But your primary human relationship now is with your spouse, not your parents. Your commitment to God comes first; then your bond to your spouse, then to any children you might have, then to your family of origin, and then to extended family and friends.
Betrayal. It's a common story: After a fight with his or her mate, a spouse goes "home to mother" or calls the parents on the phone and spills the details.
This is detrimental to a marriage. It communicates disrespect to your spouse and makes it hard for the parents to maintain a healthy relationship with him or her.
Even if you and your spouse reconcile within hours or days after your argument, family members may not know that. They might carry that memory of the fight you had, have a hard time believing that everything is okay, and remain suspicious of your partner.
Expecting parents to referee your conflicts isn't realistic or wise. It would be hard for them to be objective about your marriage. The best thing they can do when you come to them in the midst of an argument is to send you home to work it out.
One exception would be conflict that involves violence. Getting to safety is the first priority. Taking time to be apart and see your parents can give you an opportunity to think and establish a plan to repair the marriage. It's not helpful to just go home to Mom and Dad to vent, however.
If you have an "apron strings" problem in your marriage, keep the following tips in mind as you talk with your spouse about it.
If, after following these steps, you and your spouse are at an impasse about your in-laws, get the objective input of a therapist.
Leaving and cleaving is tricky, but doable. The love and respect you communicate to each other when you value your marriage over your relationship with your parents are essential.
After Susan and Julie talked, Susan realized why she felt threatened by the idea of her in-laws moving into her home. It was because she believed her mother-in-law wanted more contact with Tom than Susan was comfortable with.
As Susan and Tom talked about it, she became less defensive. Tom was able to listen more easily and understand her heart. In turn, his own heart softened. He began to evaluate how much time he spent with his mom — and what he could do about those apron strings.
How have you dealt with special days like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, Easter, Memorial Day, and birthdays? Most of us might think only in terms of the way we grew up, perhaps with Mom and Dad, and expect these occasions to be celebrated the same way.
The only problem, now that you're married, is whose mom and dad's celebration of the holidays you're going to adopt. An added challenge confronts blended families, who may have a host of combinations of relationships and traditions to consider.
One husband and wife, like many others, found themselves in a quandary. Where should they go for Thanksgiving? In an effort to respect the desires of both sets of parents and a grandmother, they ended up rushing from house to house. The result: They didn't enjoy the food or the time together.
Sometimes practical considerations minimize this conflict. If family members live far apart, the question of where to spend the holidays may be answered when travel costs are taken into account. Often, though, the solutions aren't quite so clear.
Premarital counseling may be the best place to start addressing this question; it's frequently covered in that setting. Whether you discussed this important area of family relationships before you were married or are just now beginning to deal with it, here are some key concepts that can help you decide how and where to spend your holidays:
Despite the usefulness of these steps, holiday observances still can be an emotional minefield for couples and in-laws. Here are some cautions to keep in mind:
There may be no specific right and wrong ways for families to spend the holidays together, but there could be better ways for you to approach holiday traditions and expectations. To keep those days worth celebrating, remember these tips:
"Parents and their married children can resolve differing points of view in a mature and gracious manner," says Dr. Howard Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary.
Parents will find the following guidelines helpful in avoiding such conflicts, keeping their in-law relationships strong and healthy and contributing to the success of their children's marriage:
Dear Dr. Bill: I am 34 years old and have three children. My mother has always interfered in my life. I don't enjoy her visits and I often find myself making excuses for her not to come. What happens is that my mom comes to "observe" how our family is doing, and she totally undermines the authority my husband and I have with our own children. After her visits, my mom will call with very critical comments about my husband and everything we're doing wrong. I disagree with what she says, and feel very hurt and angry by her comments. The problem is that my children love their grandma and still want to see her regularly. I don't know how to explain the problem to them. Please help.
Unfortunately, the people who are the closest to us have the most potential to hurt us. It sounds like your mom has been criticizing you and attempting to control you for years, and you have just about had it. My guess is that if we took a close look at your mom's own life story, there are reasons why she is so negative and controlling. Perhaps she was emotionally abused as a child, or she has experienced deep pain and disappointment in her life. As her daughter, it might be helpful for you to gain some insight into your mother's past, in order to develop some empathy and understanding for her.
But even though there may be valid reasons for her difficult disposition, she has no right to treat you with such disrespect. It's high time for you to start setting down firm boundaries in your relationship with her. This isn't going to be easy, and will involve a lot of strength and courage on your part. You will need every bit of your husband's support and encouragement.
I suggest you sit down with your mom when both of you are in a good mood, and discuss with her how things are going to be different in your relationship from this point forward. Let her know that you love her and appreciate her love for your children, but that her constant criticism of you hurts you deeply and that you are no longer going to accept it. Explain that unless she can make a genuine effort to change her attitude and behavior, she will no longer be welcome in your home. Given what you've told me, I'm guessing that your mother may react in anger, or she may play the martyr role and attempt to make you feel guilty for your words. Stand your ground and refuse to be manipulated.
As far as your children's access to their grandmother, that's a difficult decision that you and your husband are going to need to discuss thoroughly. While your kids may love their grandma, is it truly in their best interest to be spending a great amount of time with a woman who is so controlling and demeaning? As your kids get older, I think we can both predict that her criticism and negativity will begin to affect their self-esteem.
Unless your mother is willing to admit her faults and make some significant changes in her life, I believe you may want to consider limiting the number and length of her visits. Perhaps her desire to see her grandchildren will motivate her to examine her attitude and her behavior.
Let me recommend an excellent book on this topic which I think you will find very helpful. It's titled Boundaries: When to Say "Yes," When to Say "No," To Take Control of Your Own Life. The book is written by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, two Christian psychologists who I greatly respect, and who have been guests on this program in the past.
Dear Dr. Bill: My husband and I have been married for seven months and we currently rent our home from my mother-in-law who lives within driving distance of us. The problem is that she comes over all the time without calling first — even though we've asked her to call first. My brother-in-law does the same thing. What should we say to our family about this situation without offending them, yet giving us the space we need?
Ah yes, the old "uninvited relatives dropping by" scenario!
You're in a rather unique situation because you are renting your home from your relatives. If they are giving you a great deal on the rent, that further complicates things.
You didn't mention in your e-mail why they come by. Is it to do maintenance on the house, do yard work, or get tools out of the garage? Because they are the landlords and you are the renters, they certainly have a right to do those things, provided they give you a reasonable amount of advance notice. On the other hand, if they are simply dropping in unexpectedly to chat or hang out, that needs to be addressed differently. And because we're talking about your in-laws, your husband is the one who needs to bring it up.
Hopefully, this can be solved with a good-natured, non-defensive family discussion. I suggest your husband start the conversation by telling his mom and brother how much you love them and appreciate the opportunity to rent their home. But he should explain that as newlyweds, you are trying to establish your new life together, and as such, you need a certain amount of privacy. Let them know that they are always welcome to come by, but that you would prefer it if they would let you know ahead of time.
If they react defensively or in anger, then there are some deeper boundary issues going on that may not be so easy to address. If that's the case, or if they continue to drop by unannounced even after you make your wishes known, then you've got a decision to make. If you're renting a great house at a great price, you may decide that it's worth putting up with their intrusiveness. On the other hand, you may soon decide that living in an apartment on the other side of town is looking better and better.


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2013 Holiday Gift Guide: Nintendo 2DS
Posted by Andru Edwards Categories: Video Games, Kids, Under $250
Nintendo's newest, more subdued handheld is next in the Gear Live's 2013 Holiday Gift Guide. The Nintendo 2DS is basically a Nintendo 3DS in a candybar form factor (no hinge so it doesn't close) that plays all 3DS games in 2D. At launch it will be available in red and blue hues, and is outfitted with the regular (not 2DS XL) sized dual screens, cameras, mono speaker, headphone port, and a 4 GB SD card. In other words, it's just like a Nintendo 3DS, except there is no 3D, and it doesn't close, and you get it all for $129 - $50 cheaper than the 3DS console. You can pick up the Nintendo 2DS now for $129.99.
Click to continue reading 2013 Holiday Gift Guide: Nintendo 2DS
Read More | Nintendo 2DS
2013 Holiday Gift Guide: SOL REPUBLIC Jax earbuds
Posted by Andru Edwards Categories: Accessories, Wearables, Music, Women, Men, Teens, Under $100, Under $250, Under $50, Under $500
The next featured in Gear Live's 2013 Holiday Gift Guide is the SOL REPUBLIC Jax headphones. Available in multiple colors, the SOL REPUBLIC Jax were designed to put great style and sound within reach. They feature a wide, tangle-free cable with an inline microphone for answering calls. You can choose between a 1-button or 3-button remote as well. It's compatible with Apple, Android, and Windows Phone devices. You can pick up the SOL REPUBLIC Jax earbuds now for $39.99.
Click to continue reading 2013 Holiday Gift Guide: SOL REPUBLIC Jax earbuds
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2013 Holiday Gift Guide: Amazon Kindle Paperwhite
Posted by Andru Edwards Categories: Handhelds, Women, Men, Techies, Under $250, Under $500
The next item in Gear Live's 2013 Holiday Gift Guide is the Kindle Paperwhite. Why? well, as great as e-ink readers have been (and they've been pretty stellar,) since the original Amazon Kindle was released, their one tragic flaw has been that they become pretty useless in the dark. You either simply can't read them, or have to use a small light attachment accessory. Enter the Kindle Paperwhite. Amazon has designed what we consider to be the best e-ink reader to hit the market. It's flagship feature is the front-lit display, which works great when you're in the dark and want to read your latest ebook purchase without using a backlit tablet that's hard on the eyes, or an awkward clip-on light accessory. It also supports new features like telling you how much reading time you have before you finish your current chapter, and an all-touch display with virtually no lag. Check out our Kindle Paperwhite review, unboxing gallery, and video after the break for more, and head on over to Amazon to pick up the Kindle Paperwhite for $119 for that bookworm in your life.
Honorable mention: Nook Simple Touch with GlowLight
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2013 Holiday Gift Guide Giveaway: Rdio streaming music subscription
Posted by Andru Edwards Categories: Features, Music, PC / Laptop, Portable Audio / Video, Women, Men, Techies, Teens, Under $100, Under $25, Under $250, Under $50, Under $500
They say music is the universal language, and as music lovers ourselves, we think it's one of the best gifts that you can give, and we're putting it in our 2013 Holiday Gift Guide. Rather than grabbing an iTunes gift card, or worse, a random CD from the bargain bin, we recommend hitting your loves ones up with Rdio gift subscriptions. Why? It allows the user unlimited access to the entire Rdio music streaming catalog. That means on-demand access to millions of tracks from the web, iOS and Android smartphones and tablets, and even your Sonos system. Rdio costs $9.99 per month for full access. We love it--check out Gear Live on Rdio!
We are giving away three 3-month subscriptions to Rdio to our readers as well! To enter, all you need to do is:
- Follow Gear Live on Twitter
- Tweet the following message: "Hey @GearLive - hook me up with that free @Rdio subscription! http://gear.lv/SEjTdi" (Click here to tweet this now!)
Good luck to all entrants, and be sure to look through the rest of our 2013 Holiday Gift Guide for more giveaways!
Read More | Rdio
2013 Holiday Gift Guide: Ogio Renegade
Posted by Andru Edwards Categories: Wearables, Features, Men, Techies, Under $250, Under $500
Here's a backpack that's worth of being featured in our 2013 Holiday Gift Guide: the Ogio Renegade. If you're like us, packing a ridiculous amount of gadgets with you when you leave the house, the crush-proof tech vault on the Renegade should pique your interest. There are also other compartments that are meant to keep your expensive tech safe, like the paddes camera pocket, tablet pouch, and the armor-sealed laptop area. The Ogio Renegade is as comfortable as it is durable, featuring ergonomic padded straps to make it easy to carry around. They're available in two colors: black and black pindot.
You can pick up the Ogio Renegade for $116 on Amazon.
Read More | Ogio Renegade Backpack
2013 Holiday Gift Guide: Bracketron NanoTek Stand
Posted by Andru Edwards Categories: Accessories, Cell Phones, Features, Techies, Under $100, Under $25, Under $250, Under $50, Under $500
Our 2013 Holiday Gift Guide needs more accessories, and we found a cool one for smartphones owners in the Bracketron NanoTek Stand. It securely grips your phone and desk without messy or sticky adhesives, and is forged out of durable, aircraft grade aluminum composite with an elegant matte finish. It'll hang onto your device in both portrait and landscape orientations, and the integrated cable management system keeps your cable handy for easy charging. They're available in both silver and black.
You can pick up the NanoTek Stand for $19.99 on Amazon.
Read More | Bracketron NanoTek Stand
2013 Holiday Gift Guide: Aquafarm
Posted by Andru Edwards Categories: Features, Household, Family, Women, Men, Under $100, Under $250, Under $500
We love finding quirky, cool things that are worthy of being featured in our 2013 Holiday Gift Guide, and the Aquafarm certainly fits the bill. You get a pet and some healthy food, all at the same time. You don't even have to clean up after it! Thanks to
magic aquaponics, the plants use the fish waste as food, keeping the water clean. Impressive, right?
You can pick up the Aquafarm from ThinkGeek for $59.99.
Read More | Aquafarm
2013 Holiday Gift Guide: Apple TV
Posted by Andru Edwards Categories: Apple, Features, HDTV, Home Entertainment, Family, Men, Techies, Under $100, Under $25, Under $250, Under $500
iOS devices like the iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch will be big holiday gifts this year, make no mistake about it. The Apple TV is actually a fantastic complement to Apple's handhelds, worthy of being featured in our 2013 Holiday Gift Guide. A nice little device in its own right, the Apple TV gives you access to Apple's iTunes Store entertainment content right on your television. In addition, you get Netflix, Hulu Plus, YouTube, sports networks, and plenty of other entertainment options. Connect it to your iTunes Home Share, and you can use your iOS devices as remote controls for the Apple TV. The best part, though, is AirPlay. You can beam audio and video content right to the Apple TV with ease from your iOS device, or your Mac. You can also mirror the display of these devices as well, all wireless over your home network.
You can pick up the Apple TV for $99, or $94.95 on Amazon.
Honorable Mention: Roku 2 XS Streaming Player
Read More | Apple TV
2013 Holiday Gift Guide: SOL REPUBLIC Tracks headphones
Posted by Andru Edwards Categories: Wearables, Features, Music, Portable Audio / Video, Women, Men, Techies, Teens, Under $100, Under $250, Under $500
SOL REPUBLIC Tracks are the first interchangeable on-ear headphones featuring V8 Sound Engine speakers, switchable cables, and "Sound Track" headbands. SOL REPUBLIC engineers developed a proprietary new polymer called FlexTech, which makes them virtually indestructible, and we're recommending them in our 2012 Holiday Gift Guide. the company actually stands behind that claim, as you get a 1,000 day warranty on each SOL REPUBLIC headband. they just won't break. For total comfort, the team designed the Tracks ear cushions to be large and lightweight. Tracks offer the optimal balance of size, style, sound and comfort and are available in black, white and red. You can pick up a pair on Amazon for $65.
Click to continue reading 2013 Holiday Gift Guide: SOL REPUBLIC Tracks headphones
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2013 Holiday Gift Guide: Sonos PLAY:1
Posted by Andru Edwards Categories: Features, Home Entertainment, Music, Men, Techies, Under $250, Under $500
We're music fans here at Gear Live (seriously, check out the Gear Live Rdio channel!) so we wanna make sure to include great music gadgets in our 2013 Holiday Gift Guide. This year, we're kicking it off with the Sonos PLAY:1. If you're unfamiliar with Sonos, it's basically the best way to get music from just about any location (your computer, your iPhone, the web, the cloud, etc.) to play in any room in your house. It's super intuitive, and even years after using Sonos, the technology still blows us away. The Sonos PLAY:1 is a wireless all-in-one music system that lets you jump right into the Sonos experience. If you have an iOS or Android device, you can download the Sonos remote control app, and you can also control the system with a computer using the Sonos Desktop Controller. Here are some other Sonos products that go nicely with the Sonos PLAY:1, which itself you can get for $199 from Sonos, or order from Amazon and get a free Sonos Bridge included with purchase!
You can use a pair of Play:1, Play:3, or Play:5 units to create wide stereo sound as well!
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