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Pressures can mount and questions develop when a couple decides to have a baby. If you're a parent, you may have asked: How can we afford daycare? Is our insurance adequate to cover the costs for the delivery? Do we need a bigger house? Where should we send our child to school?
However, if you've discovered that infertility is part of your story, the pressure to conceive can be even greater as another set of questions emerge: Does God hear me when I pray? What other options are there for a couple who can't conceive? When is it time to give up and when should we look for other alternatives?
We don't take your questions lightly. Here at Focus on the Family, we're sensitive to the pain you may be experiencing because you haven't become parents like you hoped. That's why this series of articles is designed to help you navigate your way through infertility and relieve some of the pressure.
Infertility is commonly defined as the inability to conceive after at least a year of unprotected sex, or the inability to carry a pregnancy to a live birth. Infertility is not the same thing as sterility. According to MSNBC, one-third of infertile couples who seek treatment are able to have children.
According to the American Society of Reproductive Medicine:
There is no "typical" infertility patient, and the causes of infertility vary widely. According to the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, there are several common reasons why couples may find it difficult to conceive.
Age also plays a significant role in a woman's ability to conceive. According to MSNBC, female fertility starts to decline in the late 20s. While a 30-year old woman has a 20 percent chance of pregnancy, the probability decreases 3-5 percent per year. By age 40, a woman's probability of achieving pregnancy drops to 5 percent.
The vast majority of infertility cases are treated with drugs or by surgically repairing the reproductive organs. In vitro fertilization (eggs are fertilized outside of the body then placed directly into a woman's uterus) is the method of treatment in a small percentage of cases. Still other couples choose adoption when they are unable to conceive.
Although the causes of and treatments for infertility are primarily physical, infertility is not simply a matter of biology. For many couples, experiencing infertility is a life crisis that evokes emotions similar to those associated with miscarriage or the loss of a child by other means. Often, the pain of not being able to have a child is compounded by a sense of failure and inadequacy.
As we entered the one-room country church, my dad reached to steady my mom. The explosion of color, the thick scent of lilies and the face of my grandfather in a bronze casket had knocked her off balance.
At 9 years old, I was too young to fully understand what was happening, but I could feel my mom's anguish. The closer we got to the casket, the more violently she wept. Her legs faltered under the weight of her grief. There was nothing I could do to ease the pain.
Nearly 20 years passed before I again encountered such physically intense grief from a loved one. This time, the deep pain came as my wife, Kerrie, explained through tortured sobs over the phone that a medical lab had confirmed that we were unable to have children. Once again, I could do nothing. I remember thinking, It feels like someone died.
Grief is a real part of infertility. It may be heightened in miscarriages or stillbirths, but it is just as real when a couple cannot conceive. The sorrow Kerrie and I experienced the day we received our lab results was as deep as the grief we would have felt if she had called to tell me her parents had passed away.
Scripture confirms the close connection between the two losses. Proverbs 30:15-16 tells us the grave and the barren woman are two things that are never satisfied. The sense of loss from infertility will frequently resurface whenever life situations — such as a menstrual cycle or the birth of a child to another couple — trigger painful feelings of the opportunities lost.
We must not be afraid to grieve and allow these responses to run their course. We should, however, guard against allowing our heartache to slide into despair.
Grief is complex and usually accompanied by a myriad of other emotions. Because of its intricacy, grief can take considerable time to work through. The "normal" length of mourning, however, is difficult to define.
During our grief journey, Kerrie and I found two crucial actions that allowed us to mourn our loss without slipping into despair.
Physical barrenness is beyond our control, but Kerrie and I can take steps to ensure we don't suffer spiritual barrenness. By focusing on God, we can enjoy a life that is neither "barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ" (2 Peter 1:8, KJV).
Even though we've been blessed with two wonderful adopted children, Kerrie and I still experience feelings of loss and the sense that we're missing out on something. But ultimately, we realize God is on the throne, and we have decided to focus on Him rather than our grief.
Trying to get pregnant can be an emotional roller coaster — especially when you're struggling with infertility. Not getting pregnant when you really want to can cause depression, anxiety and grief. While the ride can be an emotionally difficult one, there are some ways to make it a little easier.
The feelings of grief, despair, envy and failure are real, even if you're grieving for a baby you've never conceived. The desire to have a child can become overwhelming for any couple, including those who have had children previously. Don't ignore your emotions or avoid dealing with them because you feel like you're somehow responsible for being infertile. A healthy life — and a healthy pregnancy — start with a healthy outlook. Be realistic about what you're feeling. That's the first step to coping.
No matter how alone you feel, you really aren't. Ten percent of reproductive age couples struggle with infertility. Through online and local support groups, you can meet others who have had the same emotional struggles you're experiencing and benefit from their wisdom gained from living through the ordeal. As an added bonus, most infertility support organizations offer resources to help you decide whether infertility treatments are right for you and, if so, what kind would suit your budget and fit your emotional and ethical boundaries.
Nearly all infertile couples eventually become depressed. Studies show that untreated depression and stress can cause lower fertility rates, even in women undergoing fertility treatment. So rejuvenate with a relaxing soak in the tub, listen to your favorite music or spend some time enjoying nature — whatever helps you to get the most out of life. Reducing your stress and feelings of despair can give you some hope. If you still struggle with depressive feelings, consult a professional therapist.
The pressure to conceive can make it difficult to determine the right path in pregnancy planning. Carefully consider the decisions you can live with. While the advances of science have made it possible for more than 80 percent of infertile couples to become pregnant, many of those options lead down roads filled with ethical dilemmas. Weigh in with your religious and moral considerations before you make a decision. If possible, seek the counsel of someone whose opinion you respect as you contemplate the ethical issues. Conceiving a child — no matter how it takes place — is just the beginning of a lifetime commitment to making the best possible decisions for the welfare of your family.
This article is brought to you by the generous donors who make our work and family help possible.
As told by Becky, age 40
Infertility is an insidious monster. It sneaks up on you, taking a bite here, a nibble there. It feeds on your life and on your relationships.
For a long time I didn't recognize the monster. But one day I saw it in my reflection in the dresser mirror. There it was, staring back at me through the dullness in my eyes, the stress lines around my mouth, the droop of my cheeks. I hadn't always looked like that.
My eye caught a photo on the dresser. My husband and I grinned from the silver frame. John's arms were looped around my shoulders in a casual embrace. Behind us, the ornate doors of Notre Dame rose to the top of the picture. Paris. It had been beautiful that May. And we were two young lovers walking its streets hand in hand as we celebrated our first anniversary. We were so happy then. Innocent, in love, and looking forward to a future filled with the promise of giggling children and vacations that would take us to Disneyland instead of Paris. Those were the good days. I could see it in the shine of my eyes, hear it in the laughter that would spill from my lips a moment after the camera shutter clicked. I could remember how easily John and I use to laugh together, how he would tease me when I wanted to take just one more photo. I would chuckle and skip away from him to ask yet another stranger to snap our picture. But that was BI — Before Infertility — and those days were gone.
I sighed and traced my finger over the image of my face in the picture. I seemed so vibrant, so alive, so different from the way I felt now. I looked again into the mirror. Who was this woman?
Gone was the beautiful young wife my husband married. Instead, I felt like a baby-making machine that didn't work. As a result our love life had become sterile and mechanical. The purpose of intimacy was no longer to share our love, but to produce a baby; not to enjoy each other, but to accomplish a goal. We scheduled our time together based on the reading of an ovulation predictor stick and according to the instructions given by our doctor. On the magic day when the stick read positive, I would call my husband and say, "Today's the day," and later that evening, whether we felt like it or not, we would do our "duty," our thoughts focused on the baby we hoped to conceive. No more romance, no more spontaneity, no more passion.
Slowly I turned from the dresser mirror, walked downstairs, and pulled a photo album from beneath the coffee table. I sat on the couch and flipped through its pages. Photo after photo revealed the joy of our life together: John making a face at me from behind a glass of sparkling cider. Me grinning from the top of a tall boulder, where I had climbed during a summer hike. The two of us dancing at a friend's wedding. A snapshot of me, hair rumpled, sipping a cup of coffee at the breakfast table.
As I looked at the pictures, I realized that it wasn't only our love that had changed; our daily interaction was also affected by the infertility beast. Once I had been a normal, even-tempered woman. But the monster had nibbled away at me, leaving a person who constantly teetered on the brink of anger or tears. When John was late for our appointment at the infertility clinic, I accused him of not caring. When he tried to tease me like he used to, I called him callous. When he said it would be okay if we never had children, I burst into tears and refused to speak to him for days. In my sane moments, I knew he was doing his best to understand me. But somehow it just wasn't enough.
As I sat there studying the difference between the woman in the photos and the one in the mirror, the thoughts I'd been fighting for months flooded through my mind. John should have married someone else. He could have had a family by now. How could he still love me? Did he regret saying "I do" so many years ago? Could we ever recapture the love we once had? Would we ever feel normal again?
It seemed like every week that passed, every month that proved I still wasn't pregnant, the monster grew stronger. Every day it consumed a little more of the love between John and me. Somehow we had forgotten each other in this pain-filled journey through infertility. We'd forgotten how to really see each other, to rejoice in what we loved about the other. Instead, we had become so focused on the goal of having a baby that we were blind to everything else.
We needed a change. I needed a change. Somewhere inside, an attractive, fun-loving woman was hiding. I just had to find a way to let her out again.
A week later, when the ovulation stick read positive, I was determined to make things different. That night I dressed in my best black velvet gown, did up my hair, carefully put on my makeup, and wore the special sapphire earrings my husband had given me three years before. I bought a bottle of wild new perfume and dabbed it on my wrists and behind my ears. Then I looked in the mirror and smiled. It was a forced smile at first, but at least it was a start, a beginning to recapturing the woman of fun and romance that I'd once been.
As the first stars started to peek from the evening sky, I set up our back patio table with a tablecloth, candlesticks, and our best china. My husband's favorite meal was bubbling in the oven and light music drifted from the stereo in the family room when John arrived home. I still remember the look of surprise on his face.
I lifted my chin and offered the smile I had practiced earlier. "Because I love you, and I love us," I replied. "Tonight we're celebrating each other."
John raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're my wife?"
I grinned and pointed to the camera I'd placed on the table. "How many pictures do I have to take to convince you?"
He laughed. "Oh, only a hundred or so."
I picked up the camera and snapped his picture. "Now go up and change your clothes and hurry back. It's a date night."
"Whatever you say." He jogged upstairs to our bedroom while I finished preparing the meal.
As we sat down to homemade lasagna and glasses of sparkling cider, I realized something. I felt attractive again. I felt alive. And I noticed how handsome my husband was, more so than the day we were married.
For the next hour we talked and laughed and reminisced about our favorite memories as a couple. Then when we'd finished our meal, John stood and extended a hand toward me. "Care to dance, m'lady?"
I nodded and placed my hand in his. There, under the moonlight, we danced with my cheek on his shoulder and his mouth near my ear.
"We're going to make it through all this, you know," he whispered.
And for that moment, I believed him. Beneath the stars, with my husband's arms around me, the monster of infertility grew weaker, until I thought we might be able to survive the pain, disappointment, and sorrow — if only we could remember to love each other.
After that night, we planned a special date night whenever the ovulation stick read positive. The next month John brought me roses and took me to my favorite restaurant. The following month we snuggled in front of the fireplace and roasted marshmallows over the glowing coals. They were simple things, but they reminded us to listen to each other and to care. These dates soon became times we cherished, as we focused on appreciating each other, on listening to one another, and on hearing the other's heart. In doing so, they took the pressure away from performance, away from the goal of producing a baby, and instead gave us time to pay special attention to our relationship.
To my surprise, after a few months we began to find it easier to enjoy each other during the "regular" times, like doing yard work together or washing the cars or folding clothes. Soon, we found ourselves planning more trips together. With the expense of infertility treatments, we didn't have the money for vacations to Paris anymore, but we could take a walk on the beach, or see a funny movie, or take a drive to the country to watch the sunset. On Saturday afternoons we started to enjoy picnics in the park like we had in our college days before we were married — anything to help us remember how to laugh again, to remind us why we fell in love.
'll admit the pressure of trying to have a baby still haunts us, and sometimes I feel the monster still nibbling at my heart. But now I know that at least once a month John and I will tell each other how much we love the other, and we'll take time to laugh together like we used to. And for that one day the monster will be held at bay. For that moment, at least, I know I'll be able to remember the woman God made me to be, the woman who once smiled into a camera in front of the Cathedral of Notre Dame.
As told by Greg, age 30
I thought my self-image was unshakable. I thought I could handle anything. After all, I was a man's man. A tackle-football, monster-truck, built-Ford-tough type of guy. But then the test results came in.
The phone rang, and I answered it with my usual "Hey, this is Greg."
The nurse from our infertility clinic was on the other end of the line. "Hello, Mr. Smith, this is Jean," she said. "I have the test results for you and your wife."
"Oh, uh, okay." I swallowed. "What's the scoop?"
"Everything looks fine for Claire, but your numbers are, well" — she paused — "quite low."
I felt my stomach twist. "Low? What do you mean by low?"
"Your sperm count came in at three million per milliliter. Normal is between twenty and one hundred and fifty million."
Three? Only three million? "But, but," I sputtered. "Are you sure? Maybe there's been a mistake."
"We're very careful with these tests, Mr. Smith."
"Still ..."
"Have you been sick with a high fever in the last few months? Or perhaps you've been in a hot tub."
"Uh, no." My grip tightened on the receiver. Slowly I lowered myself to the chair near the phone. "So"—my voice wavered—"what do we do now?"
"Well, we can test you again in a couple of weeks, if you'd like. Other than that, the doctor will be happy to discuss options at your next appointment. You're coming in with Claire on Monday, aren't you?"
"Sure, I guess so." I barely muttered the words. Three million. Only three. The number pounded through my head. I was okay when I thought it was something with my wife that was keeping us from having children. But this, this was different. I was the one with the problem. It was my sperm that were lacking, my fault we weren't able to conceive.
I hung up the phone quietly.
"Who was that, honey?" my wife called from the other room.
"The clinic."
"What did they want?" Claire walked into the room and tossed the towel she was folding onto the kitchen counter.
For a moment I didn't answer.
She looked at me and raised one eyebrow, just like she always does when she thinks I'm acting strangely.
I rubbed my hand over the counter top and glanced away. "The test results are in."
"Low sperm count," I mumbled, too quietly for her to hear.
"Low sperm count," I said again, just a little louder.
"Oh. Did they say anything about my tests?"
"Yours are all okay."
"So now we know what the problem is." Her eyes caught and held mine. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Absolutely not, I thought. But I only shook my head, turned, and went into the garage. "Got some work to do," I called behind me. "I'm going to Sam's Hardware." A trip to Sam's was just what I needed to gather my thoughts. If I could hold a few wrenches, try out a couple of power tools, I'd feel fine again.
So I took my trip to the hardware store. I strolled around the tool aisles. I even bought a new table saw. And slowly the implications of those disturbing test results receded to the back of my mind — until Claire and I attended a party at a friend's house a few weeks later.
We were casually chatting with friends. Claire was on the couch with a group of women and I was standing by the TV when I overheard what she was saying.
"Greg's got a low sperm count," I heard her say.
Maybe it was my imagination, but the room seemed to fall silent. Quickly I looked around, hoping the other guys hadn't heard. But my best friend, Jerry, patted me on the shoulder and gave me a sympathetic look. "Hey, that's too bad, man. Sorry to hear it."
"What's up?" Adam walked over with a Pepsi in his hand.
Jerry turned to him. "Greg's got a low sperm count."
I felt myself shrinking.
Adam took a swig of his soda and made some remark that I'd rather not repeat.
I tried to fake a chuckle, but it seemed to get stuck behind my tonsils and came out like a choking cough. I cleared my throat and turned toward Jerry, hoping to change the subject before it got any worse. "So how's the job going?" I asked. "Heard you were up for a promotion."
Jerry dropped his hand from my shoulder. He seemed nervous. "Job's going great. I'm looking at getting that raise and promotion any day now."
"Bet Margaret's glad to hear that."
"Yeah, she's pretty excited about having a few extra dollars every month."
The conversation stayed on Jerry's job for a few more minutes before we turned to everyone's picks for the upcoming Super Bowl. I breathed a sigh of relief. Football was a safe topic. Talking about quarterbacks and pass plays kept the conversation from turning back to more personal issues. Still, for the rest of the evening, I pasted on my fake smile while becoming more and more angry with Claire for sharing our private information.
On the way home from the party, my anger boiled over. "What were you thinking, Claire?" I said through gritted teeth.
My wife glanced at me with a confused look on her face. "What are you talking about?"
I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel and glared at her before turning my eyes back to the road. "Oh, come on, you know what I mean. Telling everybody about my sperm count! Don't you think that is a little private?"
"What's the big deal? Ann asked me if we'd found out what was wrong, and I told her."
"You didn't need to mention my low sperm count." I couldn't believe she didn't think it was a big deal.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Claire looked somewhat amused. "If we'd found out I had problems with my ovaries or had a blocked fallopian tube, you wouldn't have any objection to my telling Ann about that."
"That's different."
"What is different about it?"
I slammed my hand against the steering wheel. "Look, my sperm count is private. I don't want you telling anyone about it. No one. Especially our friends."
"Okay, then, what am I supposed to say when someone asks? Lie?"
"I don't know. I don't care. Just don't talk about my sperm count!"
Claire shook her head and turned toward the side window. "All right, all right, I didn't know you were so sensitive about it."
I stared out into the rainy night. The only sound was the sloshing of the windshield wipers. I didn't really know why I'd reacted so severely. Of course, I was a little embarrassed. But Claire was right. If it had been her problem, I wouldn't have thought twice about telling friends the test results. But I felt differently about it when it was my problem. How could she not understand that? How could she not understand that a low sperm count was something that hit a man hard, something you just didn't share in a group?
Now that the sperm issue was out there, I did what I figured any real man would do — I ignored it. Oh, I swallowed a few extra vitamins, took cooler showers, and stayed away from the hot tub, but other than that I simply refused to think about it. But my friend Jerry changed my mind.
I hadn't seen him since the party, so I thought I'd stop by and surprise him at work. But I was the one in for a surprise.
I opened the glass door and stepped up to the receptionist's desk. "Hi, I'm here to see Jerry."
The woman glanced up at me and frowned. "Jerry doesn't work here anymore."
I stepped back. "What? Of course he does."
She shook her head. "Jerry was laid off two months ago."
Two months ago? That would be a month before the party. Surely if Jerry had lost his job he would have told me. Something strange was going on, and I needed to find out what it was. I mumbled "thanks" to the receptionist and hurried out to my car.
I finally tracked Jerry down that night in his garage. He was lying beneath the chassis of his 1967 Mustang. "Hey, Jerry!" I called.
He slid out from under the car. "Greg! Good to see you, man. I didn't hear you come in. What's up?"
I crossed my arms. "I don't know, buddy. Why don't you tell me?"
Jerry wiped his hands on his overalls, then stood up. "What do you mean?"
"I stopped by your work today."
An awkward silence fell between us. Jerry turned away to finish cleaning his hands on a rag. He refused to look at me. "Guess you know then."
"They told me you were laid off two months ago."
"So what was all that talk at the party about a promotion?"
He shrugged and turned back to me. "I just couldn't bring myself to tell you guys that I didn't have a job."
"Does Margaret know?"
Jerry twisted the rag in his hand. "No."
"I leave every morning and come back in the evening, same as I've always done. Only instead of going to a job, I'm looking for one."
"You're kidding me."
"I wish I were."
He looked like a dejected puppy. I draped an arm around his shoulders. "Gosh, man, you should have told me. I could have tried to help, or at least prayed for you."
"What? And have you guys think I'm a loser? No thanks."
"Come on, Jerry. You are not a loser because you've lost your job. Our self-worth is found in God, anyway, not in our job. You know that as well as I do."
"Yeah, I guess I do."
"Hey, I hope you find something real soon. And remember to let your friends know the next time something important happens in your life, huh?"
Jerry's eyes locked with mine. "Yeah, like you told us about your sperm count being low."
"Well, that's different," I mumbled.
"Yeah, right."
We stood there for a moment without speaking. "Look, I gotta go. I'll stop by tomorrow and see how the job hunt's coming."
As I drove away, Jerry's words haunted me. I had to admit the truth. The low sperm count made me feel less of a man, just like his job loss made him feel. And while those reactions may be perfectly natural, they showed how we were finding at least part of our identity in something besides our relationship with Christ.
For the next several months I considered what it meant to be a man in God's sight. I thought about how Jesus proved himself through obedience to God. I also thought about the great price that Christ paid for me on the cross. I thought about how a man should be measured by the greatness of his faith, not by his sperm count. But it wasn't until I stumbled on the words of Isaiah 56:3 5 that I really began to understand that my identity doesn't come from my ability to procreate, but from the God who made me the man that I am: "Let not any eunuch complain, I am only a dry tree.' For this is what the Lord says: To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose what pleases me and hold fast to my covenant — to them I will give within my temple and its walls a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that will not be cut off' " (Isaiah 56:3 5).
If God didn't think less of me because I had fewer sperm than other guys, what right did I have to think less of myself?
These days I find that I'm much more at peace with my condition. While I still don't want my wife talking about my sperm count at parties, I find that I can accept the fact that our fertility problems lie with me. It's God who makes me who I am, and by his grace I am content with that — no matter what the numbers read.
As told by Vanessa, age 47
"Surprise! You're infertile!" my gynecologist said to me one day when I was in for my yearly exam. Well, she didn't actually say that, but she might as well have.
I was lying in that most uncomfortable position, while the doctor poked around with her cold instruments. I stared at the ceiling and gripped the thin tissue sheet that was supposed to cover me.
"So do you see anything odd down there?" I asked.
The doctor glanced up. "Everything looks fine," she said, then looked at me more closely. "Why? Have you been experiencing anything that I should know about?"
"No, not really," I answered. "It's just that Steve and I have been trying to get pregnant."
She gave a thoughtful "hmmm" and continued her prodding.
I tried not to squirm.
She held up a long stick that looked like an overgrown Q-tip. "You can sit up now."
I breathed a sigh of relief and pushed myself up, being careful to grab the pink tissue sheet and tuck it in around me.
"So how long have you been trying to get pregnant?" she asked, as she pulled off her thin rubber gloves.
"Oh, about a year and a half."
She paused and examined me for a moment with her eyes. I could tell what she was thinking. I felt a little colder and tugged at the tissue again.
"You know," she said finally, "infertility is defined as a year of unprotected sex without conception. You may want to consider having some tests done."
The tissue tore in my hand.
Infertility? Tests? I swallowed. "Uh ... but, oh, are you sure?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "You said it has been over a year?"
"Yes, but—"
"Maybe our timing has been off."
"Maybe," she answered, but I could tell she didn't believe it. I cringed.
"Still, if you're serious about getting pregnant," she continued, "I'd highly recommend the tests."
I swallowed again, hard, then took a deep breath before answering. "Okay, if you say so. What do I need to do?"
She picked up her pencil and scribbled something on a sheet of paper. "Not just you, Steve too."
I grimaced. Steve was going to hate this.
The doctor watched me for a moment. When I didn't say anything, she nodded once and continued writing. "I'm ordering the preliminary tests. How does next week sound for you?"
And so began the journey that would last for the next eight years. During that time we had enough tests and procedures to make me feel like a human pincushion, as well as two miscarriages and numerous heartbreaks.
We were about to consider in vitro fertilization when a call came from my husband's 22-year-old cousin.
She asked for Steve, and I handed him the phone. After about forty-five seconds, a startled expression crossed his face, followed by eager anticipation. His eyes met mine. "We'll take the baby!" he nearly shouted into the receiver.
My hand flew to his arm. "What's going on?" I mouthed the question.
He put his palm over the lower half of the receiver and quickly whispered, "Shanna's pregnant. She says she doesn't want the baby. She was planning to abort, but she'll have the baby if we want to adopt it."
My mouth fell open. "Is she serious?"
He nodded, then spoke into the receiver again. "Yes, yes, absolutely. That'll be no problem. Just send us the bills." He paused while Shanna spoke on the other end of the line. Steve grabbed my hand in his and grinned. "Okay, then, we'll talk to you again later," he said into the phone. "Take care now. And thank you. Thank you so much." He hung up.
"Can you believe it?" he said to me as he turned, grabbed me, and swung me into the air. "We're going to have a baby at last!"
But I wasn't so sure. After two miscarriages, I knew how attached a woman could become to the baby growing in her womb. Still, I laughed with him and wondered, Could this be it, Lord?
In the following months as Shanna grew larger and larger, so did our hopes. Steve's family was so excited for us. They began buying baby clothes and planning a party for the new arrival. Shanna was pleased, too. Despite my doubts, she continued to reassure me that everything was going to happen as planned. She called every week with updates and always told me about her doctor visits. I went in with her to her 22-week ultrasound appointment and saw the baby for the first time—a little girl. The sight brought tears to my eyes. Will that be my baby, Lord?
The baby was due in September, and somewhere around mid-July I started to really believe that this was going to end happily for us, that we would finally have a baby of our own. I began to plan the nursery and buy pink little girl things to decorate it.
Then, three weeks before the baby was due, Shanna called again. When she asked for Steve, I knew something was wrong. He took the phone, and immediately his features hardened into a look of pain. After a minute he hung up the phone and turned to me. "She says she's keeping the baby."
The words dug into my heart like talons. Steve gathered me in his arms. We stood there, too hurt to cry, too stunned to speak, with the morning light pouring through the kitchen window to make a rainbow of colors on the tile counter top.
In the weeks that followed, as the baby was born and Shanna took her home, no one seemed to understand our pain. Steve's family couldn't see why we would stay away from family gatherings where the baby would be. From their view, we were overreacting. After all, the family still got a new baby. All the gifts they bought were given to the baby just the same. It was only Steve and I who felt the loss. We were left to grieve alone.
After the failed adoption attempt with Shanna, we continued infertility treatments and also tried to find another baby to adopt. So the waiting started again, along with the hoping, the disappointments, the wondering if it would ever happen for us.
"Doesn't anyone care? Doesn't anyone understand?" I cried so many times during those years when I felt abandoned by God and forgotten by him. Little did I know that He really did care. He understood. He had a plan. But I wouldn't find that out for another three years.
By that time infertility treatments had eaten up our savings. Steve had recently lost his job and was now working as a Kelly temp. I was a substitute teacher. And, to top it off, we'd sold our house and moved to a rental in a nearby town. In other words, not only was the possibility of continuing treatments looking grim, but we weren't exactly what an adoption agency or birth mom would be looking for. All my hopes for a baby came crumbling down around me. I felt there was no way I'd ever be a mom.
But just when life looked the bleakest, another call came.
I was working a Christmas job at the mall when my friend Sally handed me the phone. "It's Steve," she said. "He says it's important."
A dozen red and green ribbons in my hand, I took the receiver with the other. "Hey, hon, we're pretty busy here right now," I said, as another customer approached my booth.
"Would you like a brand-new baby boy?" Steve blurted out.
"Call me back in ten minutes."
"Oh, okay."
I hung up the phone, then stopped. Did Steve just say what I thought he said? Something about a baby? I grabbed the phone again, turning to my customer. "I'm sorry, I need to make a call. Sally will help you." I quickly dialed home again and waited. The phone rang and rang and rang. Finally I hung up.
The next ten minutes dragged by like an 18-wheeler going up a steep grade. Finally the phone rang. I snatched it up. "Steve, is that you?"
Steve laughed. "Did you even hear me the first time I called?"
"Not really. Did you say something about a baby?"
"A baby boy. Shelley from next door called about him this morning."
"Tell me more."
"Well, his mother's a 14-year-old rape victim who chose to go ahead with the pregnancy and place the baby up for adoption. Shelley's sister was going to adopt him, but she just found out she's pregnant, so Shelley called us."
I was silent.
"Did you hear me? They want to know if we want to adopt the baby."
"Are you sure it's for real this time?"
"Pretty sure. Shelley says so."
My mind spun around the possibility. A baby? For me? For us? I cleared my throat. "You said yes, didn't you?"
Steve laughed again. "I said I'd talk to you, but I was sure you'd agree."
"Of course I do!" The customer at the counter gave me a strange look as my voice raised an octave.
"Well, the mother's in the hospital tonight and is supposed to be induced tomorrow morning. I'm five minutes from there now. Can you meet me?"
"I'll be there in ten minutes." I slammed down the receiver, grabbed my coat, and headed for the parking lot. "I gotta go!" I yelled to Sally. "I won't be back until tomorrow. Cover for me?"
"Sure," she shouted back. "But this better be good."
"It is!"
I reached the hospital in record time, met Steve and hurried up to the room. The moment I met Missy, I knew she was a special girl. She looked up at us from the bed and smiled. "So you're the family Shelley told me about?" She extended her hand. I took it in my own. "I'm so glad my baby's going to such a good home." She closed her eyes.
I leaned over and squeezed her hand tighter. "Thank you. You don't know how much this means to us."
Her eyes, deep brown and innocent, opened and looked up into mine. "It was the only way I could think of to make good come from the awful thing that happened to me."
I nodded, as any words I would have said clogged behind the lump in my throat.
For two hours we sat with her and talked until visiting hours were over. "Come back tomorrow," she called as a nurse showed us out of the room. "You'll want to be here when he's born."
That night was the longest of my life. The next morning we went to the hospital and sat in the waiting room. Casey was born at eleven minutes to seven that evening. The nurse ushered us into the birthing room.
Missy sat up in the bed with a baby in her arms. Her mother stood beside her. Missy looked from the baby to us. A smile lit her face. "He's perfect," she said. "Healthy and perfect."
I held my breath, fearing what else she might say, hoping for what I had thought was impossible. Slowly she lifted the baby and held him toward me. She whispered as she placed him in my arms, "My gift to you."
At that moment, as I looked into Casey's tiny, scrunched up face, I knew that the tests, the pills, the lunch hours with no lunch were all over. I was immediately enamored and fascinated with the small bundle in my arms and amazed that God and Missy were granting us this precious gift.
When we got home, my sister was waiting for us with packages of onesies, sleepers, blankets, wipes and over two hundred diapers. The next day friends and family brought over a bassinet, a stroller, a car seat, cans of formula and all kinds of miscellaneous baby things. By the time we brought Casey home, we had everything we needed.
The next day my parents came to visit. When they'd first heard about Casey, they immediately brought up a dozen objections. "What if they take him away?" "What if she changes her mind?" "What if this turns out like the last one?" They were determined not to get attached until everything was finalized. But as soon as they came through the door and took one look at the tiny baby in my arms, they were instantly transformed into Casey's grandparents.
On the day of my shower for Casey two weeks later, my mother wept when I introduced her to Shelley. She gave her a big hug and said, "Thank you for my grandson!" I was filled with wonder at what God had done for all of us.
Then two years and ten months later another call came, and to make a long story short, a baby daughter joined our family.
We're in our late forties now, and the kids are eleven and eight. Today I can look back on the heartache of infertility and see that through all the pain, through all the disappointments, God hadn't forgotten us. Despite my doubts and questions, God knew what he was doing. And though I may not have believed it when we were going through the tests, procedures, miscarriages and failed adoption, God's plan was in operation. In fact, everything turned out just right.


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For the BMC Racing Team, recovery from the often tortuous pain of professional cycling begins with NormaTec MVP, a state-of-the-art dynamic compression system that mimics normal physiology.
'Most Valuable Pump'
Brent Bookwalter competed in a number of stage races in 2010, including the Giro d'Italia, the Tour de France and the Larry H. Miller Tour of Utah. Key to his recovery in each of them was lying in bed with his legs in the inflatable sleeves of the NormaTec MVP ("most valuable pump"). "We had a lot of really long transfers at the Giro, so we had two pair of NormaTecs on the bus and I was able to get in them right away," he said. "It really helps flush things out and get the recovery process going."
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NormaTec MVP mimics normal physiology to help athletes recover rapidly after workouts, injury and surgery. Although static external compression through wraps and compression garments has been used for years, the NormaTec MVP's physiologically-based dynamic compression profoundly improves circulation and alleviates symptoms. "Usually, I'll do at least a 15-minute session with them and not more than 30," Bookwalter said. "It forces you to be static and take a few deep breaths and just rest and relax. That's also a good way to start the recovery."


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In a complex and large organization such as Deloitte, it might not be easy to see how our professionals could feel as if they are a part of a close-knit family. But, the people of Deloitte form strong bonds with each other in many ways: through their offices, functions, industries, and the client teams on which they work. And to further expand their networks and connect with those who share similar backgrounds, many of our people belong to one or more of our business resource groups (BRGs).
Involvement in BRGs can also be a career enhancer. Those involved in BRGs grow in many ways: through professional development opportunities, such as serving on committees or in leadership roles; participating in recruiting activities; building relationships with local communities outside Deloitte; and providing feedback to Deloitte leadership on related policies and practices.
Our BRGs are closely aligned with our business objectives; foster a culture of openness, collaboration, and camaraderie; and allow for participation in professional development activities, recruiting events, and community involvement. In addition to our Women's Initiative, we currently have seven nationally recognized BRGs with more than 100 chapters throughout the United States:
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Proudly display your favorite NBA superstar in your home or office! The Fanatics Authentic® Charlotte Bobcats Kemba Walker sublimated 10.5" x 13" black plaque features two colorful photos and is decorated with team and player graphics. It arrives ready to hang for your friends to admire.
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Brussels is an essential destination for any tourist. The city is a leading cultural, historic, culinary and tourist centre.
In the centre of Brussels, you must certainly visit the Grand-Place with its large number of historic mansions, the magnificent 15th-century Town Hall and the well-known Maison du Roi Museum. There is also the Galeries St Hubert, which is the oldest covered shopping arcade in Europe. The fifteenth-century Saint Gudula and Saint Michael Cathedral is also worth a visit. You can relax in the Parc de Bruxelles facing the Royal Palace.
You can also go for a walk along the Place du Grand Sablon, with its large number of antique shops. The daily flea market on Place du Jeu de Balle is certainly an attraction. Other sights include Sablon Church with its Gothic interior and the Palace of Justice on the Galgenberg. The European quarter, which is the centre of government for the European Union, surrounds Place Schuman. Just outside the city centre, you will find the Atomium, a steel molecule enlarged 165 billion times.
Châtelain: a quarter full of independent boutiques and laidback restaurants: the square itself hosts a popular Wednesday evening food market.
Dansaert: there are always things happening – and a new boutique to explore – in the Dansaert quarter, the fashion heart of the city.
Louise: upmarket Avenue Louise is where all of Brussels heads at the weekend: the area has a real buzz and the city's best shopping.
St. Gilles: multicultural St. Gilles is full of hidden treasures: wonderful architecture; great restaurants and quirky boutiques.
Flagey: laid-back bars, an excellent weekend food and flower market and the beautiful Ixelles Ponds to stoll around.
Sainte Catherine: from the ultra-tradition fish restaurants on the square to the hip shops and bars of Rue de Flandre, Sainte Catherine is packed with distractions.
Uccle: Leafy Uccle has sweeping Art Deco avenues, pretty squares full of shops and cafés as well as acres of surprisingly wild forest to discover.
Discover Belgium: Antwerp - Bruges - Ghent - Mons - Namur - Leuven - Mechelen - Ostend
Belgium's "so cool it's hot" city has received a lot of well-deserved attention lately, especially since becoming one of Europe's Cool Capitals. Always creative - in the 16th and 17th century, the city was home to great masters such as Rubens and Anthony Van Dyck; in the 20th and 21st century, to many fashion designers like the world-famous Antwerp Six. There is much to do of a cultural nature, but the city is also well worth a visit for its excellent restaurants, bars and clubs, as well as for its shopping. Much like Antwerp diamonds, the city sparkles with an impressive range of architecture from medieval buildings in Art Nouveau styles to the contemporary Courthouse.
EVENTS Night of the proms (Nov 7-8, 13-14-15 2014) concert series where pop meets classical music - Fashion exhibition (Sept 25 2014 - Jan 4 2015) showcasing contemporary pieces from Belgian fashion designers at the Antwerp Fashion Museum.
EAT Michelin-starred Dôme (Grotehondstraat 2), is one of Antwerp's best-loved restaurants. Just across the street is the seafood eatery Dôme sur Mer (Arendstraat 1) and bakery Domestic (Steenbokstraat 37).
SHOP An exhibition space, fashion boutique and bookshop with a café, Ra (Kleine Markt 7-9) is a favourite with Antwerp's style-conscious crowd.
LATER Well-heeled creatives make a beeline for the café-bar Vitrin (Marnixplaats 14), located on a key square in the trendy Zuid (South) district.
The heart of Bruges, surrounded by an almost continuous ring of canals, is the best preserved example of medieval Flanders. So picture postcard perfect is the city center, known as "the Venice of the North", that it is nigh on impossible to take a bad photograph. With the city center closed off to cars, all the stunning beauty and culture of this unforgettable city can be easily explored on foot, by boat ride along quiet canals, or by horse-drawn carriage over cobblestone streets. Although Bruges is a small city, it will easily take more than one day to explore all of its architectural and artistic treasures, folklore, chocolate shops, lace boutiques, and local restaurants. The historic center of Bruges is on the list of UNESCO World Heritage Sites and is teeming with places of interest. Bruges is so magical that it's akin to a film set. This seems appropriate given that the 2008 film In Bruges was filmed on location in the city. This film, starring Ralph Fiennes and Colin Farrell, features two hit men holing up in the city after a difficult job. Farrell allegedly stayed in Bonifacius Exclusive Guesthouse (Groeninge 4) while in town filming.
EVENTS Great War Battlefields tour commemorating WW1 (Until Dec 31 2018). - December Dance 2014: Connecting Asia (Dec 4-14 2014): Yearly modern dance festival. This year's edition focuses on the contemporary Asian dance scene.
EAT Bistro Bruut (Meestraat 9) has had a radical facelift; its dining room now combines vintage industrial-style lampshades and reclaimed-wood tabletops. The honest Franco-Belgian cuisine at Assiette Blanche (Philipstockstraat 23-25, assietteblanche.be) is a hit with the chic local crowd.
SHOP Family-run chocolatier Dumon (Eiermarkt 6) occupies a dollhouse-like shop near Markt Square, while newcomer BbyB (Sint Amandstraat 39) features chocolates from top chef Bart Desmidt in minimal Pantone-style packaging.
LATER Venerated 't Brugs Beertje (Kemelstraat 5) offers 300 different beers, including Brugse Zot ('the fool'), the city's only official home brew. A former employee runs Comptoir des Arts (Vlamingstraat 53), a hip and atmospheric cellar jazz bar with a roaring fire.
"Here's a secret within a secret: Ghent might just be the best European city you've never thought of visiting, in a country that continues to be criminally overlooked." - Lonely Planet 10 places to visit in 2011. If you're the type who prefers exploring away from the tourist hordes, funky Ghent is definitely the place to go. Ghent is praised for its brilliant mix of a wonderful past and a vibrant present. Here hides one of Europe's finest panoramas of water, spires and centuries-old grand houses. But this is no place to simply kick back. It's also Flanders' biggest university town, which means linger-as-long-as-you-like cafés, well-priced restaurants and a laid-back atmosphere. Under the watchful eye of Gravensteen Castle or Castle of the Counts, the city boasts an Opera House, 18 museums, 100 churches and over 400 historical buildings. The most visited site in Ghent is the famous polyptych, The Adoration of the Mystic Lamb, painted by the brothers Jan and Hubert van Eyck in 1432. It still hangs in its original location, the St. Bavo Cathedral. The locals, while intensely proud of their city, are very modest and would never brag about its merits. One reason, perhaps, why it has taken so long for the rest of the world to discover this little gem.
EVENTS Film Fest Gent (Oct 14-25 2014). - Ghent Art Week (Dec 4-7 2014): starting with the Night at the Museum, where all museums of Ghent open at night. - Jenever festival (Nov 29-30 2014): East-Flemish distillers of O'de Flander present their products incl. free tastings.
EAT Dine on tapas-style dishes at Pure Daphne (Gebroeders Vandeveldestraat 3), Belgium's first croquette bar.
SHOP Rustic interiors shop Comme un rêve (Brabantdam 56b) sells a mixture of super flea-market finds and new country-style knick-knacks for the home.
LATER Sip inventive, delicious cocktails out of glass balls and Mason jars at the futuristic Limonada (Heilige-Geeststraat 7).
Cultural capital of Wallonia since 2002 and future European Capital of Culture 2015, Mons is a dynamic city with a rich heritage. Located close to the French border and at the centre of the largest mining and industrial region of Belgium, Mons has been a pilgrimage destination since the 7th century, when a Frankish woman, later St. Waltrude, decided to stop here and dedicate her life to God. St. Waltrude's Collegiate Church, one of Mons principal attractions, was never fully completed after 200 years of works! This can be seen on the church's exterior as the tower is not completed, the interior however, was completed in the 17th century. The church is considered one of the best examples of Brabant Gothic. Other remarkable landmarks of Mons are the Grande-Place, surrounded by the impressive Town Hall, and the Belfry (listed as a World Heritage site by the UNESCO), a bell tower hosting a carillon of 47 bells. If you have a more contemporary feel, don't miss the Marsh House, where painter Van Gogh lived around 1880.
EVENTS The Battle of Mons (Until Nov 11 2014): 3 exhibitions on the Battle of Mons during WWI. - A Belfry under construction (Until Dec 31 2014): exhibition on the construction of the Belfry of Mons. - The first and the last (Until Nov 23 2014): exhibition on WWI.
EAT Jean-Philippe Watteyne is famous in Mons, thanks to his run on the French TV series Top Chef. He's also the genius behind iCook (Rue des Fripiers 2, restaurant-icook.be), one of the city's most popular restaurants.
SHOP Mons Où Venir (Rue des Clercs 13) takes souvenir shopping to a zany new level, with models of the doudou – the city's green medieval dragon – among the many items on sale in Catherine Franeau's quirky little boutique.
LATER Cuba'R (Rue de Nimy 57) is a cellar bar that has brought Cuban music, Cuban drinks and some great cigars to Mons.
Namur is the capital of Wallonia, the southern region of Belgium. Enjoy a stroll through the medieval city centre or the Citadel, one of Europe's most impressive strongholds. If you want to give your feet a rest, you can join one of the many boat trips on the rivers Sambre and Meuse, as the city is neatly tucked in between where both rivers meet, an ideal and romantic way to explore the region. Do you prefer a more challenging way of exploration? Namur is also the gateway to various nature hikes in the Belgian Ardennes, an extensive forest region famed for its gorgeous landscapes and hillsides.
EVENTS Check out the works by 19th-century Namur artist Felicien Rops at Musée Felicien Rops (Rue Fumal 12). - Antica (Nov 8-16 2014): Yearly Art & Antiques fair. - Circus festival of Namur (Oct 24 - Nov 2 2014).
EAT Le Métropole Brasserie (Rue Emile Cuvelier 1) is a good no-nonsense brasserie with an emphasis on beer and big portions. If it's a sunny day, nab a seat outside and enjoy the view of the Théâtre Royal.
SHOP b.d.Librairie (Rue Saint-Jean 8) has been selling that great Belgian art form, the bande dessinée (comic book), for 18 years.
LATER Exterieur Nuit (Place du Chanoine Descamps 6) is only open until 11pm but it's a good place for Belgian beer and French wine.
Whether you're looking to quench your thirst for knowledge or just your thirst, Leuven is the ideal place. This youthful town, less than half an hour by train from Brussels, is home to one of Europe's oldest universities (KU Leuven), and history is present on every street corner. A few lucky students even have the distinct privilege of living in the 13th century stone beguinage (begijnhof) selected as a world heritage site by UNESCO. And where there are students... there is beer! Leuven is Belgium's reigning brewing capital – no small feat in a country that produces hundreds of delicious varieties. Leuven is the headquarters of AB Inbev, the largest brewery in the world, famous for Stella Artois beers. Centuries of Flemish tradition and craftsmanship lie behind Leuven's premium brews. The university, one of the oldest and most important in Europe, has its roots in the center of Leuven, and its historic college buildings dominate many of the squares and streets. The university and its 28,000 students and professors have a special tie with Leuven, which has existed since the university's founding in 1425. Leuven is a great place for the curious traveler with time to explore. It is an intimate city; any spot can be easily reached on foot or by bicycle.
EVENTS Playground festival (Nov 13-16 2014): Art expositions and performances. - Short Film Festival Leuven (Nov 28 - Dec 6).
EAT Located at the heart of Leuven's culinary scene, Trente (Muntstraat 36) is run by a top young Flemish chef. Typical dishes include bream, fennel and bouchot mussels.
SHOP Running in parallel, Dietsestraat and Bondgenotenlaan streets house luxe labels such as Delvaux (Bondgenotenlaan 15). For more offbeat food and clothes, try Mechelsestraat and the Vismarkt: Sumo (Mechelsestraat 7) stocks shoes by Chi Mihara and Dries Van Noten.
LATER Sample Con Domus and Nostra Domus beers at home brewery Domus (Tiensestraat 8).
Mechelen is a small and picturesque city that is big on charm and history but is probably best known for its carillon school. Here students from all over the world come to learn to play church bells. One of the most pleasant experiences to have in Mechelen is to sit outside on the terrace of a cafe sipping a local beer while listening to the delightful bell music coming from the sky. It is a city thriving with quaint shops, car-free areas and amazingly pleasant little squares. The grace of centuries-old palaces and majestic churches appeals to everyone. Mechelen is a city for all ages. Young people can actively enjoy themselves in the Toy Museum or the Tivoli Children's Farm, whereas the young at heart can entertain themselves at the Anker, one of the oldest operating breweries in Belgium. There are also many parks and gardens to stroll in, and the boat trip to these parks from Mechelen Central Station is not to be missed. Mechelen has no less than 336 listed buildings and monuments including eight gothic and baroque churches from the 14th century through the 17th century.
EVENTS Rik Wouters (Until Dec 31 2014): Exposition of Belgian expressionist painter Rik Wouters. - Toy museum of Mechelen, displays several expositions all year round.
EAT Grand Café Lamot (Van Beethovenstraat 8/10) is a modern riverside brasserie-restaurant with good views of St Rumbold's Cathedral. For a completely different experience, Het Nieuwwerk (Nieuwwerk 11) serves classic Belgian cuisine in a peaceful, picturesque spot behind the Cathedral.
SHOP Kaashandel Schockaert (IJzerenleen 28) is a shop selling almost 300 cheeses and is particularly famous for its Gouden Carolus Brouwerskaas, which is made with local beer.
LATER Unwined (Begijnenstraat 23) with a glass or two of grape at this unpretentious bodega. The sommelier has removed the snobbery associated with choosing wine by creating a selection chart based on country of origin and occasion.
At the "City by the Sea", over five and a half miles of sandy beaches invites you to delightful sunbathing and a refreshing dip in the North Sea. After frolicking in the sun, take a walk down the Promenade where you will find many shops, bars and restaurants. Ostend is a cosmopolitan city with a harbour, yacht-basin, airport and over 50 hotels. Visitors will be amazed by all there is to see and do. All year round, many activities take place. Some highlights are: Oostende at Anchor, Theatre by the Sea, Magic Lights in the Park, the Christmas Market with huge ice-skating ramp and Carnival week-end with the well-known Bal Rat Mort. One of Ostend's main, and maybe lesser known, trump cards is the gastronomy. What better place to sample the sea's delicacies than on the seaside. There are many restaurants, ranging from exclusive hot spots to cosy bistros, so there is something to suit everyone's taste and budget. The specialities are Dover Sole, shrimp croquettes and "tomato filled with shrimps". There is also plenty to keep you amused later on in the evening such as pubs, clubs and cinema complexes.
EVENTS Atlantic Wall (Until Nov 16 2014): unique open-air museum. Walk through the trenches of 2 world wars. - The Sea – Salut d'honneur (Until April 2015): Sea-themed exhibitions curated by internationally renowned artist Jan Hoet.
EAT Traditionalists eat mussels only from September to April, and the busy De Mosselbeurs (Dwarstraat 10) serves up more than a dozen versions, from basic to Thai-style, spiced with coconut, curry and coriander. Otherwise head down to Ostend Queen (Westhelling 12), where you'll feel like you've stepped aboard a cruise liner that serves excellent seafood.
SHOP Stock up on local delicacies at the outdoor market on the Wapenplein every Monday, Thursday and Saturday.
LATER Choose from 500 types of beer and 50 kinds of genever (a Belgian juniper-flavoured spirit) at the English pub-style Café Bottelje (Louisastraat 19) or throw shapes on the dancefloor at Tao Bar (Langestraat 24-26).


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Mike Canning is the National Managing Director of Deloitte Consulting's U.S. Strategy & Operations (S&O) practice. In this role, he is responsible for the strategic direction, operational execution and overall leadership of Deloitte's strategy and operational consulting services, helping organizations address their most complex, heart-of-the-business issues.
When it comes to strategy and change, Mike Canning is a virtuoso. He joined Deloitte as a business analyst in 1988 and specializes in helping health plan organizations solve major issues including strategic planning, M&A activities, business transformations and implementation of large-scale projects. He has served as the lead client service principal for several of Deloitte's largest health care clients, with a consistent track record of client service excellence. He also serves on the leadership team for Deloitte's Life Sciences and Health Care industry practice.
Prior to his current role, Mike held a wide range of leadership positions, serving as the U.S. leader for S&O's Service Operations practice and the S&O leader for the Northeast region.
"Throughout my tenure as a Deloitte consultant, I have grown professionally and personally in many ways," says Canning. "I work with amazing people at Deloitte in an environment that asks for and then respects self-motivated behavior. We break down problems and then strive to help solve them."
Mike received a Bachelor of Arts in economics from Oberlin College and a Bachelor of Music in organ performance from Oberlin Conservatory. He earned his MBA from the University of Chicago, with a focus on finance and quality & operations improvement.
Outside of the office, Mike volunteers as board vice-chairman for Stepping Stones, a multi-service non-profit child adoption and family services organization. He is also a board member for the Boston Celebrity Series, reflecting his musical background and his passion for the arts.
"When I was training as a classical musician, I was guided by the idea that 'proper preparation prevents poor performance.' It's a variation of the '5 Ps' – the British Army adage – and a good reminder that you have to break down problems in order to solve them, then prepare and practice so that you can perform at the top of your game. In music, as it is in work and life, performing at your best takes a strong work ethic, focus and discipline."
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"In music, as it is in work and life, performing at your best takes a strong work ethic, focus and discipline."


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Welcome to Brechin Rugby Club !
We are a small but very friendly club catering for rugby in Brechin from Primary 1 to S1/2 and for those more mature players,the BRUCE's veterans section.
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Strathie Sharks S1/2 are at home v Montrose. Meet at Strathmore for 1030am, with an 11am Kick Off. View News Item »
Scotland V New Zealand Trip to Murrayfield Saturday 15th November, 5:30pm Kick off. View News Item »
Edinburgh Rugby are delighted to announce a Free Young Gunners Camp on the 13th of October for P4's to S1's. View News Item »
Membership Clarification. View News Item »
Snow Fun with The BRUCE. View News Item »
Brechin BRUCE back in Action. View News Item »
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Brechin Rugby a Day of Successes. View News Item »
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text: Hey guys ive been hunting for a while now and i have been watching some big buck on public land for a while now and have come up with a theory. You see when people go after big bucks what do they do? They go back to the thickest part of the woods as they can and they find some rubs and set up by them blah blah blah. Well i have learned something. Deer are smart and they know what your doing so what do they do? go somewhere else! I have seen more big buck hunting near the road then anywhere. Now im not talking right next to the road but at least in eyes view. If you can set up near a road with a swamp nearby and have buck sign i think you will be pleasantly surprised. Now this is just what i have noticed over the past few years and is just my opinion but lets talk about it. I would like to hear other peoples ideas.


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Portuguese Water Dog Puppies for Sale
Gr/Champion pedigree w/ Service trained Dam
• Female • $3,500
PWD Sea Dog Pirate Puppy
• Male • $3,050
Shelby Litter
• Male • $2,000
• Female • $2,500
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Breed Group: Working
Weight: Male: 42-60; Female: 35-50 lbs
Height: Male: 20-23; Female: 17-21 inches
Color(s): black, white, brown, or combinations of black or brown with white
The Portuguese Water Dog has aided Portuguese fisherman for centuries by herding and catching fish, carrying messages between ships, retrieving anything and everything that fell overboard, and guarding the catch and boats. Being that they were bred for water work, this breed loves the water and is an excellent retriever.
The Portuguese Water Dog is very intelligent, devoted, loyal, and very alert. Him being so alert, this makes him good as a watchdog. This breed is very people-oriented and should be kept as a family pet as he does not do well in kennel life. The Portuguese Water Dog can be protective of his family and territory so socialization at an early age should be performed to avoid any dominance and/or aggression issues that may occur in the future.
The Portuguese Water Dog has is very fun loving and enjoys the company of others. He can be somewhat protective making him a great candidate for watch dogging, although he should not display any aggressive tendencies. This breed can do well around children, however can be protective and somewhat combative around other dogs so early socialization again is necessary if this dog is to live in peace with another. The Portuguese Water Dog should not be trusted around smaller and more passive animals.
Regular combing and brushing this breed is necessary. This breed has a very thick and close-knit coat which can easily get tangled or matted, so daily combing should be provided. Bathe only when necessary. Brushing with a wire brush or a fine-toothed comb would work best. Checking for burrs in the coat should be performed if this dog is to have free roam in a fenced yard.
The Portuguese Water Dog has a little to no shedding coat, and is great for homes with allergies. The coat may be either curly or wavy, and is thick, covering the whole body at an even length. The coat of this breed is somewhat weather resistant, so bathing should be sparse.
This being such an intelligent breed, he does well in obedience and agility. The Portuguese Water Dog is also very lively which makes him quite stubborn at times. Trainer must be firm yet gentle, but this breed is very willing to learn. Given the proper handler and training, this breed will do wonderfully.
The Portuguese Water Dog does well in a family environment and can be very active both indoors and out. This breed does best with at least an average sized yard, but if given the proper amount of exercise, he can do well without one. Portuguese Water Dogs love to jog and would make a wonderful companion for the outdoors type.
If you are looking for Portuguese Water Dog puppies for sale from reputable Portuguese Water Dog breeders or to adopt Portuguese Water Dogs from a Portuguese Water Dog rescue then make sure you understand as much about the dog breeds you are interested in as you can. Every puppy breed is different. Begin your research by reading the breed information about the Portuguese Water Dog puppy above. Search our dog breeds section to find Portuguese Water Dog puppies that make great pets.
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We provide the only safe marketplace for Portuguese Water Dog dog breeders to list and rehome their purebred Portuguese Water Dog puppies. Portuguese Water Dog dog breeders listing puppies on Next Day Pets are required to verify their identity for your protection. Most dog breeders with Portuguese Water Dogs for sale offer health guarantees and may be shipped worldwide. With over 100,000 active dog breeders, we can assure you you'll find the perfect puppy for your family.


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Located in Northeast Italy, near the Austrian border, and one of the three regions making up the Tre-Venezie, Veneto is most famous for its city of love, Venice. In the wine world, Veneto is the top volume producer in the north of Italy. Production includes lovely spritzy Proseccos (also the grape name), as well as the easy-drinking white wine of Soave (made...Read More About Veneto
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All eight riders on the BMC Racing Team safely finished in the leading group Thursday as the 184-kilometer opening stage of Circuit Franco-Belge ended in a sprint finish.
Motivated Field
A four-man breakaway gained a five-minute lead before being brought back. Adam Blythe (Omega Pharma-Lotto) took the win. "It seemed like the field was super-motivated for a late-season race," said BMC Racing Team's Chad Beyer. "It took forever for a break to go." Assistant Director Jacques Michaud said Stages 3 and 4 will be pivotal for the BMC Racing Team's general classification hopes.


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An elegant centerpiece for a breakfast or brunch buffet, this pull-apart pastry is light and flaky like a croissant, with a sweet spiced pecan filling.
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@MikeAndersonUA is joined at Sassy's Red House by @RKMadden00 and @AlandiseHarris as Mike'd Up returns.
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Capitol Views: Dueling 'legacy lawsuit' bills alive in Senate
On the morning after the House passed a "legacy lawsuit" bill favored by oil companies and opposed by landowners, a Senate committee today passed legislation favored by landowners and opposed by oil companies. After months of negotiations without compromise on a single bill, both sides now have measures they will try to drive through the process.
A key point of difference between House Bill 618 by Rep. Neil Abramson, D-New Orleans, and Senate Bill 731 by Sen. Bret Allain, R-Franklin, is who can authorize a variance from state regulatory standards for cleaning up contaminated oilfield sites. The House bill vests the authority within the Department of Natural Resources to come up with a feasible plan, including variances, that shall be admissible in court. The Senate bill would let up to six different state agencies review the plan, with any one of them able to object to the plan.
Landowners say Abramson's bill puts too much authority in one office, which can be unduly influenced by the oil industry. Oil companies say Allain's bill introduces more bureaucratic hurdles that will only stall the legal process more. In an odd twist, Vic Marcello, whose Carmouche firm has filed the most legacy lawsuits, opposed the Allain bill for complicating an already "bloated, overloaded procedure" and increasing costs for small landowners.
Allain's bill likely will be debated on the Senate floor next week. The fate of Abramson's bill could rest on a decision by Senate President John Alario, R-Westwego, determining which committee to send it to. The author and the oil companies want it referred to Judiciary A Committee, where a similar Senate bill has been referred. The landowners want the House bill sent to Senate Natural Resources Committee, which already has over 20 legacy bills.
—With the tide of laws and culture running against them, smokers prevailed today when a Senate committee deferred a bill that would allow companies to fire or not hire individuals who smoke, even outside the workplace. SB 113 by Sen. Fred Mills, R-Parks, would remove a 20-year-old prohibition against companies axing employees or weeding out job seekers who refuse to give up the habit. It was pushed by Ochsner Foundation and backed by a lineup of business groups, who want the ability to monitor the workforce, including testing for nicotine, and to reduce their health care costs, which smokers drive up.
But two Republican senators, Robert Kostelka of Monroe and Barrow Peacock of Bossier City, were sympathetic to arguments from labor leaders, who said the bill would deprive workers of their livelihoods for using a legal product in their homes. Louis Reine of the AFL-CIO pointed out that exposure to second-hand smoke could cause a non-smoker to flunk a nicotine test.
Sen. Danny Martiny, R-Kenner, said he was told by an Ochsner representative that under current law, the hospital, in hiring someone to run its smoking cessation program, was unable to ask job applicants if they smoked. That opened the door for opponents to say they would agree to replacing the bill with a narrower measure applied only to those anti-smoking programs. Instead, the committee voted to defer the bill, likely killing it for the session.
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This underused plant has everything going for it: flowers through most of the summer; an upright, beautiful habit; and tremendous fall and winter interest. Wild quinine grows 36-40 inches tall with a spread of 18-24 inches. This architectural plant mixes well with grasses. In summer, the white, flat, mounded clusters of flowers look like summer clouds floating through the garden ...>> read "Wild Quinine" #Hot Plants
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Kareena Kapoor walked the grand finale of the Lakme Fashion Week, 2014 as showstopper for ace designer and Kareena's most favourite Manish Malhotra. She glitters in metallic lehenga choli and she looked absolutely stunning. Kareena donned a metallic purple lehenga with grey shade
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I have some 340 Easton Axis arrows that I want to put some 125gn Muzzy Phantoms on and fletch with feathers, 4 or 5 inch. I have never shot feathers on a compond before, give me some ideas you featherfans. 2012 Bengal at 60lbs.
I have some 340 Easton Axis arrows that I want to put some 125gn Muzzy Phantoms on and fletch with feathers, 4 or 5 inch. I have never shot feathers on a compond before, give me some ideas you featherfans. 2012 Bengal at 60lbs.
??? 340s a little stiff maybe, but 125 gr head might help. Just me... Looking down range speed, 60 pounds, heavy arrow.....4" feathers, full helical.
You like them Easton 340s...I've got maybe 16 used, but darn good. what length you use?
I've got a 1/2 doz of Easton Axis 340's and 1/2 doz of GT 5575 XT Hunters with 4" feathers that I use in both my bows. I like the way they fly and they seem more accurate than the blazers. My groups are tighter at all distances, I prefer feathers.
I'm a Lefty
2011 Martin Ridge Hunter
2012 Rytera Alien Z
2008 Diamond Marquis
2008 Diamond Marquis
2009 Bowtech Sentinel
2009 Bowtech Sentinel
I have used 5" feathers on my arrows because they give me that little better stabilizing effect. With my new setup though I have gone with 4" feathers. No real reason just an availabilty issue.
I have found, for me, that the feathers were the better option. Any little tear or warping of the plastic vanes makes the arrows fly more erratic, and I would get what I call flyers. Arrows that were not tight in my group.
I can loose a chunk of feather and the arrow still flies great and hits with my others. If I get an area where the feather is messed up from another arrow hitting it I can cut it out. Although for hunting I always make sure the arrows in my quiver have perfect fletchings.
I know those short little vanes are the "thing" now, but the fletchings are what stabilizes the arrow in flight and keeps it flying true. With a heavier point the longer fletching will give you that little better FOC also.
I have shot groups of arrows with no fletching at all and if the bow is tuned at close yardages they'll group good. Although I never tried this outdoors with wind. Longer fletchings will give you more wind drift on longer shots.
And the bad news is that 5 inch feathers will have more drag, and you'll lose down range speed, I shoot 4 inch feathers, my arrow is stabilized quicker than vanes and still mantain some down range speed. YMMV
Martin 06 Slayer, Nitrous C, shoot thru, 63lb, Quiktune 3000, HAA OL 5519, Beman ICS Hunter
Martin 06 Slayer, Nitrous C, Shoot thru, 55lb, Quiktune 3000, HHA OL 5519 2X, Easton A/C/C
Ben Pearson 1968 'Cougar' 62" 45#s @ 28" recurve, parallel shaft POC, Zwickey 'Eskimo' 2 blade
I started my career of bowhunting and competitive shooting almost 40 years ago with feathers. Changed to vanes in the mid 70's mainly because they were more weather proof. Somewhere I changed back to feathers, although I use vanes every once in a while. I still prefer feathers the majority of the time for most of the reasons listed by 4x5.
The size I shoot depends on what venue I'm shooting. Usually 2" for target and 3D, 4" for hunting. There can be uses for 5", but on carbon arrows today they can be overkill. For one thing they wrap around the shaft too much, plus they can provide too much drag which can actually hurt accuracy at longer distances. Too much drag can make groups open up unless shooting heavier points for increased FOC. If a bow is tuned decently 4" is almost ideal.
Some people are jumping on the fad of shooting 2" Razyr feathers. I shoot them for 3D, simply because I bought a pack of 50 so I have them. I don't believe them to be the best option for hunting. Regardless of what people think there is nothing majical about Razyrs. They are still a 2" feather and as such don't provide enough drag for broadhead shooting unless the bow is tuned very well and every shot is near perfect, which we know isn't always the case.
These are my thoughts about feathers. They're old school, but have proved their usefulness for thousands of years.
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I cut my arrows at my draw lenght 29"s. I know these are a little stiff for a 60LB bow, but feel the need to utilize these arrows. They shoot really well with 125grn. Silktips and Blazer's. Figure the 3 or 4" feathers might give me a bit more FOC.
Martin 06 Slayer, Nitrous C, shoot thru, 63lb, Quiktune 3000, HAA OL 5519, Beman ICS Hunter
Martin 06 Slayer, Nitrous C, Shoot thru, 55lb, Quiktune 3000, HHA OL 5519 2X, Easton A/C/C
Ben Pearson 1968 'Cougar' 62" 45#s @ 28" recurve, parallel shaft POC, Zwickey 'Eskimo' 2 blade
As everyone here has stated, I prefer the control and accuracy the feathers give. I have been using 2" Rayzr feathers for a year now, including hunting and have had phenomenal success with them. And Barry, I understand your misgivings with the 2" and broadheads, but IMO they steer better than the 2" Blazer vanes and my broadheads flew perfect (Both Carbon Express F15's and Muzzy 3's) even out to 50yds where I could hit my small Rhino target consistently.
There are many perks, as well as cons to feathers;
Weight; 3 feathers weigh as much as one Blazer
Arrow recovery time is quicker
Durable (even when messed up and ugly looking they fly well)
I also have yet to have a feather "fall off"; with my blazers (and the same glue) every once in a while a vane would just fall off for no apparent reason...
Cost, they are slightly more expensive
Speed drops off faster at further distances because they have more drag than a vane
When they get soaked, they tend to collapse on themselves until they are dry, then they can be "fluffed up" and go back to normal
Noise; they are louder in flight than a vane
IMO, the pros out weigh the cons for me, and I probably will not go back to vanes any time soon.
In God and guns we trust;
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2011 Onza 3: 70#, 28.25 draw (AMO), 384 gr arrow, 288 fps
2005 Saber: 70#, same arrow, 250 fps
Well Trueflight 4" feathers showed up, BHSStore shorted me a pack of broadheads, I'll deal with that tomarrow. They would not fit in my long right Ariz. Easyfletch so I took some miniture files and my dremel tool and fixed it. Will fletch up a couple of arrows tomarrow and give it a whirl through the bengal.