text:
Good thing you got the separation agreement in place.
I do not think you are dazed and confused at all.
You know what is going on but are afraid to admit it.
Your wife is a liar.
Your wife is a cheater. Emotionally for sure and maybe physically too!
She is right the issues in your marriage are internal.
Step up to the plate and start swinging.
File for Divorce. If your wife is not willing to be honest and work on the issues then do not prolong her nonsense.
She can cake walk all she wants but what you should be doing is working on you and your future with a woman that loves you and only you.
There is nothing wrong with being gay.
But IMO bisexual is a different issue. I feel bisexual people like your wife are selfish. They do not pick and choose, they just move between sexual partners at their convenience.
So do yourself a favor.
Do a 180. No relationship talk. Just coparent with her and let her go.
In time you will be better off for it and much happier.
Your wife needs to grow up.
Thank you. Part of the separation agreement stipulates divorce after meeting the defined waiting period. I will need to stop it if I chose to stay married.
I have been trying to 180 but it is hard in many ways.
She continues to text and email hopeful things i.e. Dont give up yet, I havent.
She is on a roller coaster and goes from being hot to cold
I am not ready to move on
One complexity is that she doesnt know that I know about the sexting.
I have been thinking of trying to have an honest direct conversation, but I expect her to continue to lie or minimize the situation. I also expect to react negatively to me knowing and accuse me of snooping instead of admitting the truth. I have also been thinking of the forum to have the talk, us 1:1 or with the MC. I am simply horrified that well be opening the can of worms and our hour will be up.
I want to stay married, so walking away or ignoring the issues will only result in divorce. I need to put everything on the table, talk about it, and then decide or at least start the long road to recovery.
To start with: From what I read then all you know is that there are 1000+ texts. The content you dont know. You can assume they are sexting but it could be non-sexual. Do you have proof of the content? Does your WW have a history of sexting?
What is however obvious is that she is texting her old female friend excessively at the cost of the marraige. Is it a friend she had a sexual relation with?
To me there is a world of difference in being gay, bisexual or heterosexual. I know its simplification but IMHO a bisexual person is comparable to a woman that prefers thin dark haired men but marries a stocky bald one. Once the decision is made the choice is made to omit the other. Hetero is obvious. If she´s truly heterosexual shes not having a physical affair with this woman. If however she is gay
Well then she is gay and nothing will change that. I think getting to the bottom of THIS issue is the key to whether your marriage should be saved or not.
Saying YOU want to save the marriage
thats like the left hand saying it wants to clap while the right hand hangs loose. You need her participation.
You talk about proof
This is something we BS sometimes misunderstand. The proof we really need is enough proof to convince US. You dont need court-grade proof, DNA, glossy photos or sworn affidavits. So if you know that shes sexting the OW or if you feel safe assuming that 1000+ texts strongly indicate an inappropriate relationship
then go for it. Many of us have gone to bat with less than a 1000 texts and past history.
I say confront her. If you feel a need to then forewarn your MC so you can get a double session but even then
I strongly encourage you to confront your WW with the absolute base issue in the marriage: Is she capable of remaining married to a man or is she gay and should come out as a gay person.
I know an hour might sound short but IMHO this is basically what you might want to do next MC: Start by simply reiterating that previous to your marriage she had interests in women. State that you KNOW shes interacting with the OW (you dont need to prove this, tell her you know of the texts or anything you dont need to prove ANYTHING). State that although you will acknowledge that there might be factors you need to improve as a husband then the key underlying issue is whether shes willing to commit to a monogamous relationship with you. The other issues are totally irrelevant if she is gay. Then simply ask her to commit her sexuality. Gay or not. Dont expect an answer but tell her you expect an answer before you two can move on.
If she comes out as gay
Well thats it.
If she refuses shes gay then just stick to her being in an affair with OW. Just talk about it as it is a fact.
I don't know how old you are, but all of the reading I did post discovery showed that most gay/bi people who choose to hide their sexuality do so well, until they are into their 30's. Maturity, and just tired of hiding, bring several to have to face the fear...if that makes sense. My ex started having homosexual affairs in his early 30's (but...I found out post d-day, he had a gay experience in highschool that he didn't tell me about...) and one of his AP's told me about the affair, but he was probably at least the third one.
I would confront, because it truly is not fair to you for her to continue to string you along. My ex wanted the "normal" life, he loved having the cute wife, cute kids, nice house "normal" life, and his hidden gay life. It wasn't fair to me. Three years later, he is in an open gay relationship.
It is a LOT to handle, keep posting. Infidelity is infidelity, you will find a lot of support here.
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings
But IMO bisexual is a different issue. I feel bisexual people like your wife are selfish. They do not pick and choose, they just move between sexual partners at their convenience.
Tons of hetero and gay people do the same. All waywards do this - moving between partners at their convenience. I don't think it matters whether the OPs have a penis or a vagina. Waywards are selfish, regardless of sexuality.
Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a debate on sexuality.
My WH's OW was in a committed same-sex partnership. I know it rocked her partner's world because she felt that there was nothing she could do to compete - she didn't have a penis. But what she realized is, even if she had a penis, her partner was broken and there was nothing she did or did not have that caused the A.
I'm not sure if that helps or not, a365. I wish you the best.
[This message edited by RockyMtn at 7:59 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)]
She blew up when I confronted her that day about who she was texting
Honest people who have nothing to hide do not "blow up" when asked simple questions like, "Who are you texting with?"
I was told I violated her boundaries, I was smothering, controlling, and had unreasonable demands for sex
She is the one whose poor boundaries have brought a third person into your marriage. So you aren't perfect. No husband is perfect, but this isn't about you. You could work on her criticisms, be more permissive, supportive, asexual--it wouldn't help. She would just find something else to slam you about. She's blameshifting so she can hide from the fact that she's lying cheater who has busted up her family.
I have been confused to why she moved out so quickly.
She moved out so she could have more space, time and privacy to cheat on you.
She again stated we have internal issues that we need to solve and to stop looking elsewhere.
You do not have issues that excuse or explain her cheating. The problems in the marriage are caused by her actions. If there were problems before she entered an affair, they were the garden variety ups and downs that every long term relationship has.
The term "internal issues" really applies to your wife. Something is deeply wrong inside her that has allowed her to break her wedding vows, put her children's security at risk and create elaborate lies about your "issues".
Marriage counseling makes no sense when one spouse is having an affair and lying about it.
It's great that you are in IC, and that you found this website. We know about the shock, confusion and pain. I don't think the gender of your wife's affair partner matters at all. She is acting like a typical blameshifting, gaslighting, heart breaking Wayward.
She laughed it off asked me if that what I was obsessing about.
a365, you are not obsessed. You're upset because your beloved wife, the mother of your children, is lying to you.
What adult texts another adult a thousand times?
My kids send a few thousand text messages per month. They are on their phones CONSTANTLY and each message probably consists of 2-3 words (sometimes less). Not even THEY send a thousand messages to one, single person.
I don't care if it's a best, best, best friend - adults don't text another adult that frequently UNLESS something is going on.
99.9% of the time it's a relationship.
We all know that. And I think you do, too.
Don't tell her that you've seen the messages. Just tell her that you KNOW that she's doing it and that you have evidence. Then see what pours out of her mouth.
Sorry you find yourself in this boat.
I think she is trying to get this relationship to the point where she can make a choice; you or her lesbian lover. Thats why she sends e-mails telling you 'don't give up yet' Maybe she hopes the OW will tire of her or she will grow weary of this affair and the very idea of a permanent homosexual relationship. Possibly she trying to 'get it out of her system' so as to speak.
So you are in limbo while she tries to make up her mind and I don't think you have the personal strength at this time to confront. You could make her angry and prompt a choice which is unfavorable to you. Think very carefully.
The advice to confront is excellent advice if you are prepared to face the consequences and possibly kick this marriage to the curb; which is what I would do in your circumstances. She wants out and is being very cruel in pursuing her selfish interests.
Members of SI have learned through painful experience that you need to be tough with the WS and draw boundaries; you have to be prepared to let go of the marriage if your WS won't let go of the affair. You are not willing to do this at this time. If you confront your WW will get very angry and defensive; she will strike back and you may be considerably worse off.
If you are not braced to possibly to end your marriage, then wait it out. Don't gamble if you are not prepared to lose when the dice don't roll your way.
I have sent my MC a message stating that I was planning on bringing up the topic in session tomorrow and I gave her some details. I also asked for some feedback/guidance on how she would like to address.
Now to answer some questions on the replies:
Bigger: I have proof of the texts, but I also read a few and they were sexting. I am not sure who she was talking to but I am fairly sure it was her high school friend who also is bi (and married with kids). I considered reaching out to her husband and alerting him but I am planning on letting that mellow a bit. I know I would want to know.
Cmego: I am in my late 30s and she is in her early 30s. I think she has been struggling with this issue for years. She had a prior marriage and I also believe this issue was a factor in that break up. She has always commented that it was her issue and she would deal with it. Last month, it turned into my issue with smothering, but I think that is simply due to her desire for space and not get caught.
Sailorgirl: It took more than a month to realize that the majority of the responsibility is on her side. She is confused about herself and her needs. I am past the point of denial and anger. I want her to be happy either way, she just needs to decide.
LifeisCrazy: Agreed. I dont plan to expose what I truly know and what I dont. In the end it doesnt matter. She can deny, which tells me she is lying and I need to move on, or she can admit and we can decide where we go next.
Ok now: Her friend is not from the area. She has been sexting but I suspect she has a deep desire to test the waters. She needs to simply come clean and tell the truth of her intentions.
I am not angry, and that feels very strange to me since I think I should be. I feel sadness for everyone esp our children.
I am prepared to give up on the marriage I dont think I can do much more damage than force a decision and air the secrecy and lies. I still love her, but no one should live in this suspended state.
It sounds smart to bring this up with your MC. I hope your W gives you the respect of being honest. Remember that she chose to cheat. She could have shared her real feelings with her husband--you could have explored her sexuality together. Instead, she started sneaking around and blaming you.
I would expect you to get angry at some point--it's healthy to feel anger when someone betrays you and your kids. Maybe you feel she's not to blame because she can't help being bisexual. She certainly could have been honest, responsible and faithful while dealing with who she is.
It's compassionate of you to wish her happiness, but will she be happy with cheater OW when both of them have torn their families apart and only see their kids 50% of the time? Can she be happy with her lack of integrity? I'm sure you will eventually be happy, though, with or without her!
Also, I'd tell OW's BH. Just a simple message with a text for proof. He needs honesty, and your wives need a dose of reality.
I explained that I knew she had been sexting with her friend. I also stated that we needed to discuss options if she admitted it.
She was obsessed with the details: When, how, what did you see? She threated to cancel the MC and go see an attorney.
I withheld much of the details.
She admitted she sent a few but she stated that she wasnt serious and it was a shame that I had to see the messages without explanation. She stated we are still in a committed relationship and she has neither the time nor emotional ability now to pursue anyone or anything. She still wears her ring and she is committed to us.
We discussed the reasons for our separation and called it a night
Where do I go from here? We see the MC and I sent her another note with an update to last nights conversation so we could jump in. I still feel there is more, but verifying will be impossible.
Her friend is not from the area. She has been sexting but I suspect she has a deep desire to test the waters. She needs to simply come clean and tell the truth of her intentions.
I am not angry, and that feels very strange to me since I think I should be. I feel sadness for everyone esp our children.
I am prepared to give up on the marriage I dont think I can do much more damage than force a decision and air the secrecy and lies. I still love her, but no one should live in this suspended state.
First, she has already tested the waters, and you know she is lying to you. I think that is the worst part, is knowing they are lying to you while they deny.
Second, I'm not surprised at your/her ages. It fits the timeline that I read about while struggling to understand about my ex. They want "normalcy", but it really isn't who they are...so they struggle with "the problem". My ex literally told me he felt he had the "right" to cheat on me while he "figured out" who he was.
Cheating is cheating. She is in denial, wants you and the "normal" life, and hiding away a secret life.
My ex denied for a long time. We even tried to reconcile for close to 9 months..until he cheated yet again with a man. That is when I left.
I was told the same thing during the discovery process, that he deserved privacy, I was smothering, I needed to just trust him, etc.
Bottom line, you need to take care of yourself and your children. Also, if you can, find yourself a good therapist and a good lawyer.
Keep posting, feel free to IM me if you have any questions!
[This message edited by cmego at 11:36 AM, September 26th (Thursday)]
I am seeing a therapist for myself and I have an attorney we already executed a separation agreement which defines the assets and custody. She threatened last night to get her own lawyer and revisit the separation agreement but I think that was her way of lashing out when I asked about the OW.
I have tabled the thought of reaching out to the OW husband. I know I would rather know, but I have little proof other than what I have seen and the call records of 1000s of texts back and forth (no content).
We are scheduled to see the MC tonight, and I am wondering if my spouse will show up. I have already informed the MC through email about the status and outcome of last nights discussion.
I do not have any written proof and I so want to believe when she tells me that its nothing and the marriage issues are me smothering and controlling. However, I know She knows and she is working hard to minimize what it is. She did admit to sending a few sexts but its cheating, just not physical yet. I am certain there are hopes for her to move on to physical someday soon.
Its funny, but I do not feel threatened by an OW. It is almost a relief knowing that there was nothing I did to drive her away. The concern I have is what if she is just seeking attention? What if the sexting was simply her way of feeling her needs and it ultimately didnt matter if it was a man or woman? I already know the answer to this but what if the issues are as she says? Is it worth pursuing reconciliation?
Well we are still in therapy, and I am committed to overturning every rock but there are so few rocks left.
I feel nothing but pain and sadness as I slowly accept what is truly happening I am losing my wife and my family is falling apart. I need to be strong at a time when you feel nothing but weakness esp for my children.
Also does anyone have any thoughts on Anti-Depressants? The Doc proscribed me Cymbalta yesterday. I have always stayed away from medication esp Anti-Depressants. I am going through hell and feel depressed bc of the situation, not bc I have an ongoing depression issue. I simply to not want to numb out the pain since it will make things easy. I do have concerns about my performance at the work place. I am not thinking straight and working slow.
Thanks again everyone!
I could probably claim to be the king of exposure. But now in your situation I would wait. I think the real underlying issue (clarifying your wifes sexuality) is the key issue right now.
You are getting excellent info from cmego on the sexuality issue. I strongly suggest you listen very carefully to her.
About the written proof. Why do you need that? Like I said earlier you only need to convince yourself.
In your social environment and family: What would the reaction be if she does come out as gay? Is there a religious or social stigma she fears? I encourage you to assure her that its really nobodys concern if she IS gay. That you are perfectly willing to keep that secret, but that you really cant be her husband any more. Marriage isnt a competition and you dont need a reason to give people to explain why you lost.
Anti-depressants are fine. They take time to kick in so start soon. Just be aware that you are taking them for a limited time and stick to that schedule. If you have a past of substance abuse then dont use them.
We spoke about the sexting and the story changed some she now claims she planted messages on her phone to see if I was snooping. She is either lying or I have completely missed the mark. Second guessing must happen I want to believe her.
As for her being gay, I think she is truly bi. She has a preference for men, but women are safer. She has had sex with women, but never a relationship.
After completing with that topic we moved on the other issues in our marriage control, sex, and smothering. We had a good exchange on those topics but I felt we just didnt completely address the sexting.
I sent a note to the MC this morning thanking her but asking for some advice on revisiting the texting topic or letting it mellow for a while. Again, I am in a very strange place. A thin thread holds my wife and I together.
On the Antidepressants has anyone taken Cymbalta? I have never once taken anything like it and I am very concerned what it will do to me and the issues with the side effects.
It is called gas lighting, making your brain do strange things because you couldn't imagine doing that to someone else.
I also heard the same.exact.line. " I was making love to you...the guys were just for sex!!" Um. YEAH.
It is called denial, both for you and for her. It is a lot to wrap your brain around, I understand. You are not controlling her, you are expecting her to act.like.a.wife.
After ex's first affair was brought out, and we attempted R...I asked for the passcode on his phone and he said, "I DESERVE privacy too!!!"
I avoided the anti-depressants. I wanted to feel everything and make sure I was dealing appropriately. I tried them after my Dad died, and they made me numb...I didn't want to be numb again.
It was a long process for me to SEE the behavior that I can see now. He did everything he could to keep me in place, so his life wasn't ruined. It is mindfuckery. I can clearly SEE how she is treating you, and, as people told me as I was struggling to understand: Bottom line, she isn't straight. Put some condition into place, and if she doesn't meet them, then you have your answer.
Also, I'd say get a more aggressive therapist. Her opinion is just that...an opinion.
Do you feel like you were controlling, a365? Throughout our long term marriage this has been a running theme for my FWH. Calling me a "control freak". I would ask him, what do you mean, how am I controlling? He would never give me a specific answer, just shout at me that he was sick of me being this controlling person.
Fast forward to d-day and marriage counseling. At a MC session one day, FWH trying to point to how all my faults made him have the affair. Said how I was so controlling. I asked him to please explain to me how I am controlling because I honestly didn't know what he meant. MC told FWH to give concrete examples. FWH sat there and thought. And thought. And thought. Finally he comes up with "Milkshake doesn't let me have the tv remote control." Yeah, thats me, the control freak.
FWH felt foolish. He realized that was something he was projecting onto me. I wasn't controlling. Ok, wait, I admit, I didn't like FWH to have the remote. I have changed that "controlling" behaviour and now share the remote.
Point being, your wife trying to blame you for her behaviour. Do you agree with the MC about smothering and controlling behaviour or are they talking you into it?
eta: t/j just watched that movie this morning "Dazed and Confused", love that movie, then I come to SI and here is that topic.
[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 8:07 AM, September 27th (Friday)]
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
The simplest explanation is usually the truth. She was crushing on this woman and secretly sharing sexual stuff she should only share with her husband. Now, she's lying about it.
I have read hundreds of marriage crisis stories. When one spouse starts criticizing the other in a mean, blaming way, demanding space and withdrawing from sex, they are having an affair. It's never just a mid-life crisis or because the faithful spouse has "issues". There are always secrets, lies, and someone else.
I still don't think her being bi changes anything. I am attracted to a variety of people, frequently to tall, lean men. All of my ex-boyfriends were of that body type. My H is on the short and stocky side. I choose him. I forsake all others. I don't need to get my jollies with any other type of body just because I could. That's what monogamy is about.
[This message edited by sailorgirl at 1:55 PM, September 27th (Friday)]
You are right, my MC seems very week. I feel I am the one pushing the issues and trying to get to the truth. Its simply odd but the MC is a major part of why I sometimes think I am overstating what is really happening. I am torn about switching since we are 1.5 months into therapy and I would hate to start over.
Chicken or the egg? Again something else that I have been wracking my brain. Did the sexting come first or did it come after the decline in our relationship? I can do some research and maybe find out when the messages ramped up, but I am tell you she started sleeping with her phone about 1.5 months ago and about the same time we had the talk about smothering and need for space
We do have a timeline in place for a decision on the R. Within the next two months we are going to continue with the MC then decide if there is any hope or simply stop going.
My plan:
I am planning to come clean at the next session. I plan to expose what I know, and when I learned it. I plan to simply lay out the facts, right/wrong/indifferent and allow her to respond or not. Its funny, I am far less concerned with the sexting, but the lying is what keeps me awake at night. We need to reach a place of honesty and stop the games.
If she is seeking attention, then that is a problem we can work on. If she is pursuing an alternate life, well I have my answer.
I sent my MC a message stating that facts and requesting guidance but she seems to not respond. Maybe she doesnt work outside the prescribed hour or maybe she doesnt want to give advice over email. Either way, it is very frustrating.
Still deciding I do not what to be numb. I, however do need to sleep and eat (down 25lbs 13% of my body weight in 1.5 months). I need to work and I simply can not focus for very long. Plus I have never taken anything like it and I do not want to commit to the 6 months then the withdrawal. There has to be another answer. Maybe tonight, Maybe not
I can share what I did after d-day to cope physically. I didnt do anti-depressants and in retrospect that was probably a mistake. I should have taken all the help I could including anti-ds. But even if you do take anti-ds then I suggest you consider the following tips.
Eat. The energy food gives you is needed right now to fight your negative feelings. So eat. I can guess you really dont feel like eating so simply schedule feeding periods. Stop seeing it as food and look at it as medication. Right now getting food beats eating healthy (although you really should try to combine the two).
You can go to a health store and buy power shakes. Blend them in milk or water and you have a meal. If you dont feel like eating in the morning then take one of those on your commute. Have a fruit before lunch; schedule it so you are nibbling at something every 2-3 hours. Some nuts, raisins, dried fruit... Dont feel like lunch? Another power-shake, a quick and dirty hamburger
whatever. Just make sure you get some energy into your body. Although healthy is better than unhealthy then eating is more important than starving.
Exercise. To me this was the most important factor. I was already in good shape at my d-day but I upped my exercise level considerably. Even if you are a couch potato then now is the time to start walking or jogging. Take the kids in a stroller and walk for an hour. Go to a gym and lift weights. Go get the how to do a hundred pushups in four weeks pdf online. And the one about abs
Whatever. Just make sure you do something other than slouch on the couch when you get home feeling all sorry for yourself.
Do chores. Make a list of 20 things that need to be done around the home. Your car need totaling? Do it. Your socks need sorting? Do it. Paint the kids bedroom? Do it. I had a very short list basically it was my car, my parents cars and my brothers car needed totaling. So those cars got waxed weekly for a couple of months! But whenever I was feeling blue, had done my run and weights and couldnt sleep
I was out there waxing.
Any hobbies you have, have wanted or are missing out on? This is the time to get your golf-drive fixed. This is when you start fly-fishing. This is when you try skeet-shooting.
One thing I managed to do was create a haven at work. Before entering work I would sit in my car for a minute and simply concentrate on that for the next 8-12 hours my body and mind belonged to my job. I would refuse myself the luxury of thinking about the affair. And then once inside IF my mind started wandering I would remind myself of my commitment. I would refuse my mind the ability to remain in that dark area. It sounds Zen like and like a load of crock but for me it worked. It often required a number of conscious decisions to move on but I managed. It became so that I looked forwards to going to work because there I got peace (and didnt have to wax my car!).
Like I said in the beginning. I didnt take ADs. But if I had to deal with the same situation again I probably would. But I would DEFINITELY go back to my original reactions and eat, exercise and divert my mind.
Update for all of you (comment if you like)
We are still going to counseling, wearing our wedding rings, and living separate.
We have agreed we are committed to each other
We have a good relationship regarding family and the kids
She is happy being on her own and is working on her issues that were identified with her counselor
So, in short things are ok. If we were to do nothing else, the separation agreement would run its course, the marriage would dissolve and we would end things but remain friends? (I hate that term), but we would co-parent from separate homes. Things could be far worse, but I want more for me and my kids.
My status:
I opted not to take the Anti-Ds. I have been improving and feeling less despair over the month. The 6 month commitment, side effects, withdrawal, and plain old numbness made me chose not to start the meds. I do however have an appointment with the Doc, and I am going to revisit any meds that require less of a commitment and drawbacks. If there is none, then thats it.
I have been following the 180 I have started to move on to some degree. She has noticed a difference and she even mentioned how hard the first week was for her. As I mentioned, I am still committed, but I am doing all the things I wanted and digging into all the to do things in the home. Keeping busy is key even if is the last thing I want to do.
I am working again, my efficiently is way down and I come in everyday and I am able to focus. I do need some down time but there is a steady improvement.
I have started eating again healthy. I am already fit, but working out and working on me helps with the emotional pain.
Dirty Details:
She has never admitted to sexting and she seems content never to discuss again. She seems to believe that the BS I planted that message was accepted.
As I mentioned, I was less hurt with the fact that she did it but the fact she lied
I know I should never assume but I assume she lied so she didnt have to be the bad guy and come clean about one of the reasons she moved from our home.
Where to go / what to do?
I need time, but I also want a decision about starting new. I also think I will not get a decision from her for some time
So I wait. That seems to be the hardest thing, not knowing if to mend and move on or wait and R.
Love is a weird thing I am normally very strong and would force the clean break but I want my family as it was not how it is. Even though I know that I could find a partner that would be a better fit, I am willing to accept certain flaws in our relationship while continuing to work on it.
I know this was a long post and long topic, but your responses are the closest thing to pure support.
I appreciate any feedback/guidance/thoughts.
What Im going to post might sound contradicting but bear with me
First of all Im not a great fan of separation. I have a feeling you two wont reconcile while shes living somewhere else. After all how can you work on fixing things when apart? But then thats my POV.
Second If you have read any of my (by most standards) numerous and long-winded posts you know of my theory of making the marriage attractive, the affair hard and leaving the marriage difficult. Well
Being separated you have limited options to do these things.
I say stick to the 180 but make sure that all and any contact you are smartly dressed, manicured and happy. Not ha-ha happy but not grumpy and sad. Look content as if you have accepted a tough decision and are OK with it.
Regarding the being friends after divorce
I do NOT believe in making divorce tougher than it needs to be. My advice make leaving the marriage difficult is simply based on fact and truth. In divorce amicable does not mean friendly it means not carrying out your wish to claw out each other eyes. Divorce is TOUGH and I havent heard of a single one that didnt negatively impact both partners. However
before entering the foyer of D many people have this vision on how assets and debts will be split and way too often its an unbalanced picture. Way too often its the wife that envision living in the house, having the kids and the ex coming over Sunday morning to mow the lawn and clean the gutters. After all he doesnt have any chores in the single bedroom bachelor pad with the microwave and plastic cutlery he got out of the marriage
So simply be realistic:
No we wont afford to keep the house. We will both need to relocate.
No we cant afford both cars.
Yes the loan on this car has to be put in your/my name so you/I wont be driving it after that.
No we wont share house for the kids. I plan on getting on with life and my next partner wont want to live with my ex.
Get it? Look around you. Probably know more than one person thats divorced. How many of them are in intense contact with the ex? A good co-parenting relationship
thats it. You two wont be mixing with the same social groups, your friends will divide themselves appropriately and within a year you two will meet at birthdays and school events.
When she talks about being friends then be realistic to her: Nice picture but how many divorced people do YOU know that are friends? We will be co-parents but if this ends in divorce Mr. a365 plans on emotionally detaching from this marriage and creating a new life.
Keep up with the exercise. Often then shortly after separation people tend to start dating and all that stuff. Keep away from that you two are still married and there is still hope. Just focus on you, your kids, your work
I can relate to your situation. My WS had a same sex affair.
Having just read all the posts,sadly there is only one thing I can say;
I think you are being played.
Living separately - just an excuse to carry on the affair.
You are controlling - an excuse to make you the bad guy
the planted 1000 texts - a lie to cover up her tracks
wear the wedding rings/committed to each over - you are either plan B if the affair doesn't work or it is her way of holding onto the picture of family and kids that you can not in most cases have with a same sex partner.
need privacy - we all should to live our lives as an open book. There no such thing as privacy in a marriage
I have had all these excuses.
Ask yourself deep down, am I right?
By all means disagree with me.
[This message edited by Snowy at 10:04 PM, October 7th (Monday)]
More details:
I did not want the separation, she did. She stated I was smothering and she needed time apart to work on us individually. She signed a year lease and is living in a townhome ~1/2 mile away.
I get it I could very well be playing the fool. She could be pursing another relationship and I am simply waiting in the wings as back up. This is what is bothering me about all of that: We are still in counseling. I still love her, She is still the mother of my children, we are still married, and she has denied that she is cheating stating she isnt interested (no emotions left).
I do believe she was sexting and she flat out lied about that topic. I do not know the reason(s) she lied, but I am sure it has something to do with not being the bad guy and her minimization to the fact that she was doing it i.e., it was nothing but playing so why own it? The woman is 1000s of miles away, married, and where would it go anyway? Etc
I have no delusions about the divorce we will not be friends but we will co-parent. It is a F-ed up solution but better than any other alterative. I get it, but I am not quite sure she does. Her family tends to go through multiple marriages and mixed families are the norm (his/hers/ours).
I am working hard to maintain a façade of contentment. I keep telling myself that she knows what I want and she needs to sort things out for herself. I remain hopeful that things will work out. I also know hope isnt the solution. She needs to figure things out. I need to figure things out. We need to do it in a timely manner the hanging on and waiting is the most damaging,
So, I am continuing to wait. I am not dating, I am not looking. I am in counseling, she in counseling, and we both go to counseling together. I need to become more patent and allow things to run their course.
Here is a confusing topic: We still do things as a family. We will take a Sunday morning and spend it together doing family stuff. I dont know what that means if anything but I take it when I can. I love time with my kids and I would never deny them time with me if offered.
Again, where do I go from here? I am waiting, it is very painful, and I hurt for my kids. I keep hoping she wakes up, realizes she screwed up, and comes home. Who knows, right? At some point, I need to push the issue, but when is that? Months?
Your wife is probably pursuing an affair, but the important issue is the lack of value she places on you and the marriage. If it wasn't for the kids she would be long gone. She plainly has no love left for you and can't even tolerate living in the same house.
You see the kids 50% of the time? so you are apart from your family? Might as well be divorced as being forced to endure this separation.
One suggestion; give it until Xmas then force the issue. Either she comes home or you file. Absence doesn't necessarily make the heart grow fonder and if she is happy living away from you now, then she could be when the year long lease runs out. All you are doing is wasting your life waiting for her.
Right now she is calling all the shots while complaining about your controlling behavior! She may be trying to define her sexuality and how to proceed with her sexual future, but she's also wasting your time. That shouldn't be tolerated.
As for your assertion that she needs to realize that she screwed up and return home that is just naive thinking. If you get her back it won't be achieved by sitting on your ass and passively waiting. Set boundaries and limits and send a message that you will not step beyond them.
If she is exploring her sexuality, then she would need to experience both male and female 'encounters' to help her define her ultimate preference. After all, from her way of thinking, it could just be you that she has developed an aversion to and not other guys. The lesbian lover, a thousand miles away, is a diversion to 'prove' she isn't screwing around. All that fake, planted sexting focusses your attention on this far away, inaccessible lover and not on some new partners that she may be engaged with. At least if you suspect that she may be seeing other partners, while you have the kids for example, then this is something you can investigate.
All the more reason to end this separation soon. Time away from each other is not going to mend your marriage and will permit further cheating.
[This message edited by OK now at 9:28 AM, October 8th (Tuesday)]
Does your wife have a tendency to avoid difficult confrontations or resolutions?
Does she have a tendency to be dreamy and/or unrealistic?
Could it be that shes avoiding facing her sexuality?
Could it be that shes avoiding coming out?
Could it be shes avoiding pulling the trigger on the marriage?
I have this theory that infidelity can become inactive without it dying. Like you say OW is thousands of miles away so yes, chances of them being together are low. Maybe even she and WW barely communicate
But thats not really an issue. Your wife is still in infidelity mentality. Its inactive but still there and its destined to resume.
You two are in therapy and have a game-plan of sorts in place. By all means stick to it. Wait these two months before forcing the issue. But your WW 12 month lease tells me already what her reply will be. After 2 months shell delay for a couple more. Then some more. Then some more
As long as she gets away with it.
Please note Im not suggesting you dont do ANYTHING at all. Use this time to prepare. Get your ducks in a row. Get reality into the picture and be mentally and physically ready to push the issue to resolution at the end of the initial two months.
I think you are being way too nice and you can't nice her back.
She moved out? Signed a year lease? Where do the kids live now? With you or with her?
You don't deserve this. Are you in IC? If not, I would suggest you find someone for you. Just you. You deserve more. Hugs to you.
I need to follow my own advice better..
But you know what is the top blues buster for me?
It is having access to some kind of a social life....A companion, somebody who lives close by who wants your company.. Somebody who will call you on the spur of the moment and often and say "Hey, lets go for a run or a coffee" Somebody who you feel comfortable doing the same.
I think that having small pleasurable moments to look forward to get us through the tough spots... Having companionship with people who like us, care about us, support us will do a lot to help us lose the fear of making difficult decisions that we need to make..
[This message edited by doggiediva at 11:04 AM, October 8th (Tuesday)]
I agree if we didnt have the kids she would be long gone. But I also think I wouldnt have suffered through as much and would have walked last month. I do have the kids 50% of the time. We are both in an area where no other family is close by so it is just us.
As for filing? We are as far as we can go. This state requires 1 year separation before filing for a divorce. We have a separation agreement which outlines the divorce, assets and custody. Nothing more to do but wait.
My social life: I have made some good friends through this and breathed new life into some old relationships. It is a shame it takes such an event, but it did.
Everyone here seems to think she is cheating I am feeling the same way. Not physically, but emotional with some lead in on the physical side one day. Part of me wants to simply blow it up dump the truth on everyone including her family. My wife has moved out to pursue a lesbian relationship and she is in complete denial. I however value some relationship with the mother of my children. I also am not 100% - beyond a reasonable doubt but there is some hope left.
I have an IC, and we have an IC, she has an IC. I thought about going in alone to chat with our IC this week and trying to strategize what we should be getting from the sessions. I feel we doing nothing but wasting time.
It was a relief when I finally realized it was no longer my job to protect him. Tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. It took a while for me to be able to do that, but eventually it became easier.
From the outside, it sounds like she is getting everything she wants, and you are getting nothing. You are waiting for her, and that is the worst place to be in. She is controlling everything. YOU need to think about making a decision. What is the line? My line was if he cheated again..which he did...and I left and never looked back. You don't know if that is happening because you are living separate. She is setting up the "We TRIED, but we just weren't getting along....".
We are all telling you this because we've played the "game" too. I went through 9 months of false R. He made about a 50% effort in R...at best. He wouldn't come on SI, he would sit in counseling and say, "I'm great! I don't need to look around my past!", he didn't want to give me his phone passwords and it got to be "why can't you just get OVER this??".
I felt like *I* couldn't be myself for fear of what he would do. Just like she is now telling you. You can't do what feels natural to YOU because you are too scared to lose her. That, is crap. It just is. It made me feel more terrible that he couldn't handle my questions and anger, he wanted to "rug sweep" and not talk about it. If I brought it up, then he would huff and puff and stomp around and just tell me to "get over it".
I just see a lot of that in your posts. She is controlling everything, and that is not good. She DID cheat, you HAVE the proof. Emotional or not, it is cheating.
To me, if you come on SI and ask for advice, you know something isn't right.
I would reopen old friendships, male and female, and build a social life for yourself. She has forced you into partial isolation; it would serve her right if you moved on and didn't wish to reconcile after the 1 year separation. That would be my objective. She is essentially refusing to work on the marriage and letting it die of neglect.
[quote]I get it I could very well be playing the fool.[/quote]
This you are not.
You are simply a nice guy trying his best to understand and handle a f***** s***** situation.
We have all been there.
Don't beat yourself up. You didn't create the situation.
You have all been there and you can see what is being played out.
I believe I am plan B
I believe she is very confused
I would like to have a very frank and realistic conversation about this topic but I know it will be met with lies and great resistance
What to do?
Option 1: Cut it off, walk away, and never look back
Option 2: Draw some clear lines, clear dates, discuss expectations, and honor them when/if they come
Option 3: Pretend that it isnt happening (or believe my wife that it isnt happening)
I like Option 2:
We have a separation agreement so the divorce will happen in a little less than a year all details are clear, defined, and agreed upon. So if we do nothing, then we will have what we have now it will just become official.
I want to have a conversation to discuss:
1. Does she want to be married anymore
2. If so, does she want to be married to me
If 1 and 2 are yes, then we start there
3. What does she need to see in order to resume our lives as Man/Wife
4. At what point do we agree is a fair time to see those things
5. What would our future relationship look like?
I am trying not to push too hard since she is confused, but I need her to make some decisions or at least make a commitment to make them. Its the hanging around, not knowing, is what sucks the most. I dont want her to leave, but is she is going to go then go already.
Being played? Maybe, probably, but what if not? I owe it to my kids to try everything until I can no longer go.
What happens if she wants to go with option 1 or 3?
Sadly I think your biggest issue in your marriage is your wife.
I like your plan.
Since you have to wait until you can D then use that time for you to be in a better position mentally and physically.
Your wife is confused. How can she not be. She not only lies to you but to herself.
Since you are in this holding pattern make the best of it.
Old News
1. I have tried to give my WW the benefit of the doubt
2. We have 3 therapist, his/her/ours and we have been going
New Developments
1. She lied again
2. She flew out to meet someone this weekend in a different city and I do not know who
3. She bought the tickets almost a month ago
I have proof of the flight and the lie in email where she said she would be
Now, what to do?
I was upset and angry at first but now I am simply feeling disappointed and ?relived?. I know I need to tell her that we both need to move on. My first reaction was to tell everyone, her parents, all friends, etc My wife has decided to cheat and break up our marriage but I calmed down and thought about the future. We still need to co-parent and deal with each other at our childrens events so
At our next MC session (next Saturday), I am planning on breaking it off. I am going to tell her:
1. Nothing about what I know about her lies and secret trips
2. We need to work on ourselves so lets stop MC
3. Call me if she is ready to start a new
This will give a clean break and allow me to heal instead of waiting around. She is a very confused woman; she is selfish, cold, and simply needs to grow up. Adult relationship fail, but when they fail the adults are open and honest.
This closes the door but allows her to knock one day in the future. At that point, I will be in a far different place and I am certain I will not want her back.
Thanks for being here all! Now to focus on the kiddos! Its morning and they are hungry!
3. Call me if she is ready to start anew
Now you may feel differently; you might consider taking her back if she dropped her bisexual tendencies, but don't let her know this. She needs to face the end of the marriage as a result of her actions, not being free to explore her sexuality while you and the kids wait patiently at home.
I cannot stress this enough, you must not give her the opportunity to cake-eat because of indecision on your part. She has to really believe that you are going to end the marriage, even if you are holding out some hope she will come to her senses. If she thinks you are bluffing and will take her back out of fear of losing the marriage and distress to the kids, then my friend, she will continue this game of fucking up your life until the children leave for college. The she will also depart.
I need to suck it up, move on, and move up.
- This is not strictly about your W's sexual orientation. Your W does not love men... not the way a wife and mother loves her husband. She does not even really like men. However, she may not love women either. Instinctively, she pursues sex. She does not make love.
- You are not a control freak. Your wife operates at a reptilian level. It is not a matter of her being a bad person. She does what she feels she needs to do to survive (and protect her children). She acts purely from instinct. She is cold blooded. Asking her what she needs from your marriage is like asking a lizard to show emotion. They do not know what the words mean. They do not even know that your sounds are words.
- Your W wanted children and a semblance of normalcy. A nest. She did not get that from H #1. You gave her what she wanted.
- The M intimacy dropped off once she had what she came for. Few species in nature practice lifelong monogamy. She spent two full breeding seasons with you.
- The reality is that she may not even feel strong emotional attachment to another woman. Or to anything. She likely comes across as very logical, rational, instrumental, plans well, is goal-oriented. She may be good with numbers and statistics. Those traits are valuable and highly prized in some contexts. They make her attractive. She is likely well-thought of.
I am sorry that I have no advice to offer and I hope I am wrong. Best wishes.
I also believe I am not a control freak I am simply reacting to my environment.
I dont think she is gay, I think she doesnt have a preference. She is in it for the attention and sexual need nothing more.
I have decided to broach the subject of quitting MC this weekend (while she is on her trip). I cant keep it inside any longer. I think it is time to move on since she already has.
I also plan to tell her that I need to limit my interactions and time with her, that means no more dinners, long stop overs while exchanging the kids, or special event. I need my time to move on and heal and it will be an open wound for a while.
Finally, I am going to suggest we tell everyone. She has been keeping it a secret.
I am plan B its time she is forced to make a choice.
I am plan B its time she is forced to make a choice.
Do you want to be with someone who sees you as "Plan B"?
Telling everyone? That is your decision to make. Just remember that you cannot put the genie back in the bottle, once it has been opened. I believe that you should tell ones that can help be your support system, but beware of shouting from the rooftops just so people know. But I think that you already know that.
You do need to focus on yourself. You need emotional distance from your WW to gain more clarity. I agree with stopping the social activities; she wants to remain "best friends", and that is not going to let you heal right now. If she thinks that the door will be open for her in the future, then she will continue with this mindset. She needs to know that she can choose whatever path she desires, but you are only in one of them.
Call her out on her lying. Stop MC today. Show her consequences for her actions.
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D
She lied about where she was and what she did this weekend
I called her out on her lies, told her I knew the truth and called her out on the sexting.
She admitted to lying about the sexting but wouldnt tell me who she was talking to
She admitted she lied about her weekend but wouldnt tell me where she was (even though I knew)
She tried transferring and stating she lied b/c of my controlling issues I called BS.
She stated she still wanted to remain married to me
She stated she never once cheated on me, and she was focusing on herself for once in her life
I backed off dropping MC for the moment while I absorbed the discussion
Now what? We have a MC session scheduled for next weekend.
I think it is over, but I see no harm in waiting a few days
Strike while the iron is hot and move on? If she lied about something, what is to prevent her from lying about everything?
Pain and despair coming this week
edited: I had only read pg 3 when I responded. I've now read all of it. Gather your evidence -- the 1000's of text messages, her *disappearing* act without telling you where she was or who she was with....and take it to the MC session with you. Not because you want help from this MC (who seems totally ineffective), but ..... well, just because. Lay it ALL out for your WW and tell her that she comes clean and tells you what the hell she's been doing and that YOU are absolutely NOT *in* for being her *sugar daddy*.....OR you are absolutely and unequivocally DONE. At this point, she doesn't get to start bitching about you, your controlling ways, or any type of *marriage* complaints that she has. If her or MC tries to go that way.....shut.it.down.immediately.
Stop this bullshit, a.....
edited again to add: if she tries to tell you that she *planted* those messages you saw? Walk.Out.
[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 7:44 PM, October 13th (Sunday)]
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Clear objective for both must be R
Plan going forward: I need to lay the framework or walk.
No more texting whomever she was sexting ever about anything
No more travel without agreement from both of us
No more lies
She can work on her, I can work on me
She stated she still wanted to remain married to me
Does she act as if she does?
I need to suck it up, move on, and move up.
I need to suck it up, move on, and move up.
Sometimes things just don't work. You can try and analysis all you want, but it doesn't bring you any closer.
It is hard and is not your first choice, but you need to do what is best for you.
Here is the story. Your W does not want R. Your W will never truly R with you. However, it serves her purpose to simulate an R. So the only question is whether you too can take solace in a false R where you both rug sweep. This is not necessarily a bad outcome. In many ways, I wish I had chosen this scenario rather than D. You can have a very decent home life, wife, and children. It could be just as good or better than 80% of other marriages. Your W is expert at simulating a healthy relationship. Do you really want to dismiss a satisfying 80% solution with kids for a long shot at 100% that may never come true? She is great in bed. That is an asset that should not be taken lightly. She will never give you a hard time because she doesn't really care about you. There are millions of men who would take that deal and trade places with you. I say the following just as joke, but if you want to experience a 3-some with 2 hot women, she will do that for you. Just remember, you would be making a deal with the devil. If I had to do it all over again, I might just take that deal.
3. What does she need to see in order to resume our lives as Man/Wife
4. At what point do we agree is a fair time to see those things
5. What would our future relationship look like?
See, This is all wrong to me. How about -
3. If you want to be married to me - this is what I require of a wife of mine -
Transparency - all passwords, accesss to phones (I'm sure you are more than happy to provide the same to her) etc.
Accountablility - where she spends her time and with who
N/C - with all sexting and affair partners - whom you are entitiled to know via the trnasparency and honesty listed above
I could go on, and on about what I would require - but the point is - you are entitled to what YOU need from your W if she decides she wants to R. She is no more special than any wayward, and you are not controlling - that is bullshit fogspeak designed to make you back off and demand nothing of her. I am going to guess if you keep up the soft sell approach to R, you are going to be miserable with the type of R that you two will have.
Who cares if she tries to blame shift and call you controlling...just tell her if you were so darn good at controlling her - she wouldn't be living in a bachelor pad and having affairs. See, nobody seems to be controlling her behavior - she's the only one who possibly could ad she's choosing not to.
[This message edited by JustWow at 9:15 PM, October 13th (Sunday)]
edited for typos (I always have to!)
I am still in love with her, so I have a weakness
I want a whole family for my kids and I still have some hope we can work through this
I stated I would give this one more month, thats all I had left
After that month, we need to start in on R or quit
If she lied again, I quit
If she texted again (I no longer have a way to check), then I quit
She would not agree to full disclosure (I feel something else is hiding in the closet)
She called me this morning and said we needed to talk again tonight
She said she was distressed yesterday and needed to revisit certain things (got her story straight?)
I wonder how tonight will pan out
I suspect I will not sleep again.
I am down 30lbs in 3 months (way skinny for me)
The effects are taking their toll I need to get past this and heal
Seeing the Doc again tomorrow about meds I think I need a little help, at least for my kids sake
This really sucks all of it.
But...how do you FEEL knowing she is continuing to lie to you?
She is hiding a WHOLE bunch of stuff, I have no doubt.
I understand how hard it is to leave someone you love, with small children at home. Many of us have had to do that. I tried for months to get my ex to pull his head out of his ass for our family. Bottom line, he just didn't want to...and went back to cheating with men. It was a horrible decision to make, but ultimately I knew the best thing to do was to end the marriage and go our separate ways. Co-parent the best we can.
You can love her, but you also deserve love back. Not 1/2 a relationship, or one where she is doing whatever she feels like. YOU deserve to be treated well too.
She stated I had no right to know what she did on her weekends since we were separated
She stated over and over that she did not cheat, but only spent the time reconnecting with friends
My guess would be she is going to try to lie her way through those statement. Based on those two statements, she is not trying to save the marriage, not yet at least.
Hang in there.
Take z-quil to sleep and try to eat. Anything. Anything that looks good, eat it.
She would not agree to full disclosure (I feel something else is hiding in the closet)
Read that statement aloud. Better yet, say it out loud while looking in a mirror. What does the guy on the other side of the glass tell you? I'm serious about trying that. Do it as an exercise. Then listen, really listen to yourself. Make sure you look him in the eyes.
EAT! Drink supplements, whatever. I was right there with you on the weight loss thing. About a 15% reduction in body weight at three months. It's not healthy. Chocolate milkshakes helped.
I suspect its either that or divorce; she doesn't care for you, doesn't respect you, but wants to keep the family intact. LeopoldB's option is worth considering if the childrens welfare is your main concern. Who knows, your wife may change her mind in the forthcoming years and invest back into the relationship..
Summary: We have discontinued the MC She has given up and stated that it is the way I make her feel. When we talk, she feels bad.
In the past, I have caught her texting the same number 1000s of times a month, sexting that number, lying about where she was (She flew out of town for the weekend)
In the end, this hurts like nothing else and I feel for my kids but it is time to move on. Or at least take a break, re-center, and focus on myself and my kids.
I am not sure where that leaves me If you have any advice on my next steps, I am all ears. I know another woman would feel good, but I might need some time to recover/heal/and become a better person.


text:
Report: Sale Feeling Good In Injury Recovery
April 28, 2014 2:23 PM
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(CBS) White Sox ace pitcher Chris Sale feels he is "good to go" in his recovery from 15-day trip to the disabled list with a strained flexor muscle in his throwing arm, according to a tweet by CBSSports.com baseball inside Jon Heyman.
great news for #chisox. hear star chris sale already feels "good to go." still, applaud team for playing it safe.—
Jon Heyman (@JonHeymanCBS) April 28, 2014
It was announced early last week that Sale went on the DL, though the move was retroactive to April 18. Sale had discomfort in the arm after a 127-pitch outing on April 17 against the Red Sox. An ensuing MRI found no ligament damage, the team has said.
Sale is 3-0 with a 2.30 ERA this season. This has marked the first trip to the DL for the 25-year-old Sale in his career.

subset: commoncrawl


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We gutted the original bath. Why? Well, we took out the dropped ceiling, the blue carpet the yellow jetted swimming pool, the small blue shower, the mirrored wall with double yellow sinks and the Asian mural. Oh and the bidet. How could I forget? I will be posting more "after" pictures soon. Please be patient with me. I new at this. :)HGTV
I'm sorry my photography is so poor. It's not showing the true rich color at all. All these pics are from my phone camera.
Our original kitchen had a dropped ceiling with florecent lighting. A few pickled oak cabinets with an obnoxiously large island that had no benefits. Notice the blue grout and ceremic tile counter top.


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Hope Community Church App
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What does this look like? Simply put, we encourage you to connect with others, live what you learn, serve where you are gifted, give of your resources and share your story.
This app helps you live out these five goals and make them part of your everyday life.
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New update fixed issue. Great app and easy to use.
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It installs 2 applications on the Samsung 4..I have unistalled several times and it still shows 2 applications and I hit install once. .very irritating
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After opening the app, nothing happens. Galaxy S4, latest updates to date
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Inspirational and relevant for our time.
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Really great app, with tons of good content. Unfortunately I have trouble w the app closing randomly on my samsung galaxy s3 and the small group videos don't work on my phone either. Hopefully the kinks will get worked out and this will be even better!
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This app doesn't work at all on my Samsung Galaxy Tab 3, and has frequent issues that results in forced stops on my Samsung Galaxy S4.
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Not a member of the church, but the Bible studies really challenge me & open up a conversation so I known my wife and I are on the same path spiritually. This app works great on iPhone, but the small group section doesn't work on my Android LG Optimus G e970. Video plays everywhere except the small group. I can not view the .pdf file either. I have tried this on the stock 4.0.3, 4.1.3, & un-releas


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Spy school vice principal slams "abhorrent" allegations
By Stuart Turton
Posted on 25 Feb 2010 at 09:58
The Harriton High School vice principal at the centre of the webcam spying row has hit back at the "offensive, abhorrent and outrageous" allegations.
Lynn Matsko allegedly called 15-year-old Blake Robbins into her office and disciplined him for "improper behaviour" using footage taken through his laptop webcam as evidence.
The school is now being sued by Robbins' family, and reading a prepared statement, Matsko gave an emotional response to the allegations.
"At no point in time did I have the ability to access any webcam through security-tracking software," said Matsko. "At no time I have ever monitored a student through a laptop webcam, nor have I ever authorised the monitoring of a student through a security-tracking webcam – either at school, or in the home, and I never would."
"I find the allegations, and implications, that I would ever engage in such conduct offensive, abhorrent and outrageous."
Matsko also offered a defence of her meeting with Robbins, though stopped short of offering specific details of its purpose, claiming she had been advised to keep the facts to herself by counsel.
"I have never disciplined a student for conduct he or she engaged in outside of school property that is not in connection with school or school-related event. That is not and have never been and never should be my role," Matsko said.
The family responds
Shortly after Matsko issued her statement, the family responded with one of its own. "Nothing in Ms Matsko's statement is inconsistent with what we stated in our complaint," said Blake Robbins (PDF).
"Ms Matsko does not deny that she saw a webcam picture and screenshot of Blake in his home; she only denies that she is the one who activated the webcam."
The family also claimed that Matsko was not intended to become the centrepiece of the case. "This case is about the decision by the School Board of Lower Merion School District to place software in students' computers, computers they knew were going to be taken home, which software could be remotely activated to take snapshots of whatever may be on the students screens and a picture of whatever may be in front of the camera."
"We need to learn to what extent the 'peeping tom' technology was used by the School District or any employee of the school district," Robbins concluded.
Interesting case, but as usually blown way out of proportion. What was the kid guilty of anyway?
The question I want answering is this "How do we monitor kids behavior when our backs are turned or when we're out of the room, especially repeat offenders"? If someone can give me a practical answer to this I'll side with the parents.
By anthonysjones on 25 Feb 2010
The vice principal's statement is totally missleading. She is denying that she took the pictures or activated the software, but which is more or less correct. It's also not what she's being accussed of.
She didn't take the pictures, somebody else took them on her watch, and then passed them on to her as part of school procedure. Which is the case that's being put forward here. She allowes a spy camera to be put in a child's bedroom, and then gave somebody else the key to turn it on, and they did. She's in trouble not because she did it, but because she was in charge when it happened.
There are still a lot of questions to be answered, but from what I gather "somebody" was spying on the kid and say them poping some pills. They turned out to be candy, but it was reported to the vice principal that it was drugs.
This doesn't look like the case of a repeat offender bing placed under survalance becuse they were suspected of somebody, it appears to be a case of "somebody" surfing the camera for fun and seeing something, then taking a picture.
Personally, I'm rather disturbed by this. Suppose that the kid was your daughter, and she was getting dressed? If it were me, I'd have been livid. I'd have thrown punches first and asked questions second.
"How do we monitor kids behavior when our backs are turned or when we're out of the room, especially repeat offenders"
The big question is why would we need to monitor them? Whatever happened to raising your kids right, then trusting them? Or putting a net nany on their computer to record the websites that they go to? NOT and I repeat NOT putting a spy camera in their bedroom and then randomly surfing it.
The big problem here is that there were supposed to be safeguards in place, but they failed because an unknown person was able to surf them when they weren't supposed to, and that parents were not informed that the cameras could be remotely activated. Some of them would have probably refused the laptop if they'd known.
If my daughter had one of those, I'd make sure that she closed the lid when she got changed, or that she covered up the camera when she wasn't using it.
It's not as if the kid was accussed of steaking the laptop, which is what the cameras are supposed to protect against. They weren't supposed to be activated unless the laptop was being abussed, and there has been no suggestion that this was the case.
By Perfectblue97 on 25 Feb 2010
"What was the kid guilty of anyway?"
Probably having a quick J. Arthur.
By Lacrobat on 25 Feb 2010
Jumping to conclusions, and taking the word of the litigants verbatim.
You seem to fit the profile of a Daily Mail reader with your paranoia and "will somebody please think of the children" attitude.
Why not wait until details other than the filed court papers are known.
Or we could just condemn people outright before we have any depth of knowledge of the story and events that allegedly took place. Vigilanteeism is so much more exciting than common sense.
By Phoomeister on 26 Feb 2010
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Neuro-linguistic Programming For Dummies, 2nd Edition
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Table of Contents
Author Information
I. Introducing NLP
1. Getting to Know NLP.
2. Looking at NLP Assumptions.
3. Who's Steering the Bus?
4. Taking Charge of Your Life.
II Winning Friends and Influencing People.
5. Pushing the Communication Buttons.
6. Seeing, Hearing, and Feeling Your Way.
7. Creating Rapport.
8. Understanding to be Understood: Metaprograms.
III Opening the Toolkit.
9. Dropping Anchors.
10. Sliding the Controls.
11. Changing with Logical Levels.
12. Driving Habits: Uncovering Your Secret Programs.
13. Time Travel.
14. Smooth Running Below Decks.
IV Using Words to Entrance.
15. Getting to the Heart of the Matter: The Meta Model.
16. Hypnotising Your Audience.
17. Stories, Fables, and Metaphors: Telling Tales to Reach the Subconscious.
18. Asking the Right Questions.
V Integrating Your Learning.
19. Dipping Into Modelling.
20. Making Change Easier.
VI The Part of Tens.
21. Ten Applications of NLP.
22. Ten Books to Add to Your Library.
23. Ten Online NLP Resources.
24. Ten Movies that Include NLP Processes.
VII Apendixes.
Appendix A. Resource List.
Appendix B. Rapport Building.
Appendix C. The Well-Formed Outcome Checklist.


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Sudakistan - Dale Gas
Music Video I directed and edited for swedish band SUDAKISTAN.
Watch on full HD resolution!
IM Fair Trade - The Fair Production
The FAIR PRODUCTION brings you on a journey to Tibetan green workers in the Dalai Lama's hometown Dharamsala, to weavers and artisans at leprosy colonies in Nepal, to coffee plantations in El Salvador and Maya Cooperatives in Guatemala.
The movie was made by Erik Torner of IM Fair Trade and Director Andreas Nilsson. Edited by Maikel González.
Stockholm 2011
Shortfilm I directed and edited. Illustrations by Cegado Comics.
Berlin 2011
Jimmy Flamante - Black Jelly
Music Video I directed and edited for artist Jimmy Flamante.
Caracas 2010
Short Film winner of 'TNT PROYECTO 48 VENEZUELA 2008'.
I edited and co-wrote the film.
Caracas 2008
Santa Salsa Trailer - Skateboard video
Venezuela, skateboards, explosions and hot dogs video directed and produced by Maikel González and Sergio Barrios. Santa Salsa is a fiction story about the injustice and annihilation of the skateboard culture in the world by authority and a man trying to bring it back!
Caracas 2008


text:
SO, YOU'RE READY TO TURN YOUR CRAFT INTO A BUSINESS by dipping a toe into the craft show waters. There are lots of questions confronting you, right off the bat: What do show organizers look for when selecting their vendors? What should YOU look for in the dozens--if not hundreds--of sales opportunities that present themselves? Once you've landed a show, how can you ensure success? Read on, and I'll walk you through all this and more.
In case you haven't noticed, opportunities to buy & sell handmade goods abound for practically every taste--from the traditional country craft fair, to the contemporary fine craft showcase, to the alternative "craftster" show put on by your local indie DIYers. So how do you find them, and which is for you?
To start, check out craft show guides online & in print. I've listed a smattering below. Then, check show websites and talk to organizers to get a feel for their aesthetic and audience. Once you make a list of those you find most interesting, sign up for the show mailing list(s) if available. You may want to create a calendar of application deadlines and/or show dates to start planning a tentative schedule. Then finalize your prospects using the following guidelines.
First, understand that there are two basic kinds of shows. One is the juried craft show -- all applicants are selected by judges. The other is the non-juried show -- an open show -- where applicants are accepted purely on a first come, first served basis. Both have their pros and cons, especially for the budding craft artiste.
Open shows can be a low-stress way to test the waters and build your confidence--in your wares and, no less importantly, your salesmanship. Some drawbacks to this kind of show: other vendors may be reselling cheap imports & mass produced goods rather than handmade crafts; product quality may vary wildly; there may be oversaturation in your category; and the show audience may be a poor fit for your business.
Juried shows typically have more applicants than available spots, because it is judged you can't firm your plans until you've gotten the nod. They may also require an application fee which isn't refunded if you're rejected. On the plus side, juries typically pay close attention to vendor quality, and shoppers respond well to a high-quality show. In addition, the jury presumably understands the show's audience and chooses vendors accordingly--so if you do get in, you're more likely to be successful. Finally, juries also typically restrict the number of spots allotted for each craft category (e.g., jewelry), so you face less danger of over-saturation in your niche.
Later, I'll give you some tips to help your chances in the jury process, but first let's run down some other things to consider when evaluating show opportunities.
Once you've identified your top show picks, you're ready to apply. But how can you put your best foot forward in your application?
The pointers below stem from my own experience organizing and jurying craft shows. Remember that my preferences may not be the same as another juror's, and that shows vary widely in what they're looking for and expect of their vendors. If in doubt, ask a veteran vendor or a show organizer for suggestions.
If you aren't chosen in the first round of picks, and you're still interested in vending at a given show, ask to be put on the waitlist; but be sure to tell the organizers how much advance notice you will need to attend.
Assuming your dream show has accepted you as a vendor, now comes the fun part—prepping for and selling at the show itself. Through my own experience vending at shows and based on feedback from other vendors, I've developed a basic checklist to keep in mind for both stages.
Now you're ready for the final step! Your actual craft show debut!
On the day of the show you are, in essence, a small, self-contained retail store. So, think like a store and make sure you have the key elements lined up.
Of course, a full "how to be successful at craft shows" spiel would take a whole book (and yes, books have actually been written on the subject)—much more space than I have here! Check out the resources below to learn more, or feel free to drop me a line at Crafty Planet. Above all—smile and have fun with it!
Related event information:
Field Trip, an annual day-long arts celebration jointly presented by mnartists.org and Silverwood Park, is this Saturday, September 21, 2013 from 11 am to 5 pm at Silverwood Park in St. Anthony, a suburb of the Twin Cities. New to the event this year is an al fresco, Field Trip iteration of the hugely popular winter craft fair, No-Coast Craft-O-Rama. Find out more about the Summer No-Coast Craft O Rama here: http://nocoastcraft.com/nocoast/summer-nocoast/
This article was originally published in March 2008 on mnartists.org.
About the author: Patricia Hoskins owns Crafty Planet in Minneapolis and is one of the founders of the hugely successful craft show, No-Coast-Craft-O-Rama.
Craft show directories
ACE Guide: Predominantly "traditional" craft fairs; good commentary on the included shows (fees, what price ranges sell best, etc).
FestivalNet: A bit more comprehensive, but full access requires a subscription.
Midwest Art Fairs: Focused exclusively on the Midwest region; quite comprehensive. Full access requires a subscription, but your local library may carry the print version.
Indie Craft Shows: Specifically limited to listings of "indie"/alternative craft fairs.
Sunshine Artist Magazine Directory: In addition to the listings, there's a nice archive of articles on topics of interest to craft vendors.
Local indie craft shows
These are my favorites, but of course there are lots of other opportunities locally and regionally:
No Coast Craft-o-rama (annually in December and, as of 2013, in September)
Craftstravaganza in April, in St. Paul and Craft'za, in Minneapolis in November)
Craft business information & networking
The Switchboards: forum for "creative women" to discuss all kinds of business and creative topics.
American Crafts Council: An association promoting fine and contemporary craft.
Crafts Report: a trade journal targeted to the fine craft artisan, but chockfull of business tips and information
Recommended Reading
Ilasco, Meg Mateo. Craft, Inc.: Turn Your Creative Hobby into a Business. Chronicle Books, 2007.
Brabec, Barbara. The Crafts Business Answer Book: Starting, Marketing, and Managing a Home-based Art, Crafts, or Design Business. M. Evans, 2006.
Kadubec, Phil. Crafts and Craft Shows: How to Make Money. Allworth Press, 2000.
Patricia Hoskins


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Listen….if I see animals running in the opposite direction of where I'm headed, I'm going with them! Animals pick up on that instinct that something is about to happen. Bison's don't just run for nothing! Just saying…
Videos of bison seemingly fleeing Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming have sparked concerns among some bloggers that recent seismic activity could trigger the eruption of the park's so-called supervolcano.
According to Epoch Times, multiple videos of such
incidents have been posted online recently, one of which shows a
herd of buffalo allegedly leaving the park and "running for their
lives." Although people behind the discussion acknowledge there's
no way to predict when the park's massive volcano could erupt,
they believe the reaction of the Yellowstone's animals could
signal some kind of alert.
On March 30, Yellowstone was struck by the most powerful
earthquake it has experienced since 1980 – a 4.8 magnitude quake
that did no damage, but that some believe could be connected to
the various animals' movements.
"Whether I believe this, or whether I don't believe the story
or not, I don't know. I can tell you this story I saw this
morning about the buffaloes running the street … whether or not
it's because of any activity in Yellowstone or not, I don't
know," said blogger Jay Lee, according to the Times.
"But I'll tell you this, whatever the case may be, that their
running away from Yellowstone is an alert of some sort."
Another video uploaded to YouTube, this time by self-described
"survivalist" and "search-and-rescue expert"
Tom Lupshu, claims, "Biologists aren't sure if there's been a
stunning decline in the herd or if other factors have skewed the
tally." Lupshu also said that helium releases in the area
are 1,000 times above normal levels, and accused the US
Geological Survey of not reporting small quakes occurring near
the volcano.
"Herds of bison running for their lives on the public
roadways and they were not being chased or rounded up, the bison
were running down the mountain slopes onto roadways running right
past a filming crew," he added. "They detect something
vast and deadly. The Yellowstone Supervolcano is the only thing
there that would fit the bill."


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350 with 305 heads and rv cam ????
Hey all ive been creepin the msg board for sum time and have got a lot of excellent info from you all.... I have an 85 buick regal with original paint, excellent body and frame, i put a 200 4r tranny in it with a trans go shift kit in it , 373 rear end gears from a 00 s 10 and a posi unit from a monte carlo ss, still the 10 bolt... i also got a olds cutlass off some one and it had a rebuilt 1982 350 with 305 heads and a rv cam in it. I have installed this into my buick. My question is what can i do to upgrade.... ? When i installed the engine i used my original intake and carb from my 305 in order to keep all the pollution **** intact. I have 275 60 15s on it and if i put her in 2nd and brake stand it then let off the brake in 2 nd at about 4000 rpm it will put a good strip of rubber down. It seems to fall on its face around 4200 rpm.... now from what ive found on line its around 10 to 1 compression .? Im wondering if the vortec heads with the ghetto grind and home port job with a aftermarket intake with egr friggn plumbing and a nice 650 carb is a good upgrade ? because i think it will be trading off the compression for better and more efficient flow ..... im a licenced autoservice tech and this older school stuff is giving my brain a work out. Also wondering if maybe the quadra bog just needs tuned butter on this 350 set up as its off the 305 ????
Never do 2nd gear burnouts with a GM transmission.
sprag failure.
If the 305 heads are stock as cast and stock GM valve springs and a small
RV cam and stock GM intake not suprised the power drops off soon.
Yup the qjet jetting can probabily be improved.
The 305 HO heads (#4416) don;t come alive until they are (generously) home ported
Preferabily with 1.94x 1.60 valves. Then, they deliver as advertized.
In stock form they are just lame stock heads.
The stock intake will limit performance. A dual plane hi rise is the prefered choice.
"RPM" intake.
Do you require a functional EGR system? Does this car have to pass a emissions test or visual emissions equip inspection?
Without detailed engine specs the cr cannot be calculated.
The details matter. I bet its less than 10:1.
What "RV cam" Lots of good heads to choose from besides vortecs. ( hard to encorparate EGR)
Instead of defining and evaluating your cars performance by doing burnouts.
Take it to the track and run it in the test and tune class and get some time slips.
The MPH from time slips and true scaled car weight with driver tells you how much horsepower you are making.
Now you got something meaning full to gauge your performance.
And a baseline to work from.
When you do go to the track and want to do a water burnout with your street tires.
Drive around the water hole and back the rear tires up to just in front of the water puddle. Not in the puddle.
In front of the puddle. All you need is slightly wet pavement(or concrete).
Burnout to 5000rpm in 1st thu 3rd gear. ( not overdrive)
You only need to see tire smoke. thats all.
Do not do a 2nd gear burnout. ( brakes the tannsmission)
shift 1-2-3 and release the foot brake as soon as tire smoke appears.
Pull directly to the start line and stage. DO not test (dry hop) the tire bit.
This decreases traction on launch. Big smokey burnouts on street radials make the traction worse.
You just want to clean off the tires. Shift the car at +/- 5000 rpm.
Do not load up on the converter when staging. stage at near idle rpm and rug it on the last yellow.
Do not use OD, ever. Work on consistant clean launches (60ft time) and shift points (ET) and MPH (horsepower). timing, jetting changes.
Drag strip burnout edict with street tires. You want to avoid getting your front tires wet and dragging water to the start line and avoid soaking the rear wheels wells with water.
This is for your own safety and the safety of other racers.
Do not roll thu the water box with street tires.
Last edited by F-BIRD'88; 07-15-2012 at 04:53 PM.
Those 305 heads are done by 4500rpm. The 420/442 lift cam works with low compression. It does not cost low end , but adds a little power 3500 to 5200. The vortec heads require no work, and will cost no low end. They will gain you above 3000 rpm nicely. Reprogram the govenor to shift about 5200. The Qjet and a dual plane intake will give a performing boost over stock. When keeping the low end thrust you cannot really say its is a bad combo in a full size street car. 3.73 gears are good. A liveable 2400-3200 stall is a good idea. It will be fun , enjoy even if its no racecar. A qjet is a great street carb, next would be the new AVS type. If you know what your doing the Holleys DP really shine at the track, but not my first street choice.
Big heads and a 268-274xe cams are nice but operate in a different range. They will dog out the low end. Unless you build to compensate in the package.
My first hot rod a 70 cuda 440 had a 509 cam, and I left the stock pistons in. They were only about .080 in the hole. With 906 440 heads and 410 gear, 3000 stall it was doggy from the line. The compression was too low. Terrible launching , but had the top end. A 70 Grand coupe cuda with the overhead console. It was cool. I miss it. Ran a 13 flat, and thought that was unbelieveable power.
Test and tune days are 120 plus spectator passes for people that come with and you only get 2-3 runs in. Sometimes it is a hard sell to get the people, and date set. Harder as you get older.
Last edited by spinn; 07-15-2012 at 05:02 PM.
Don;t know wher you race at but test and tune days are $20-$30 depending on the day at most tracks. My local track is open 5 days a week and a few nights during the week. Most tracks are glad to accomodate the street crowd.
Thats what the drag strip is for.
I ran 13 flat with a very mild 350 vortec motor w "rv cam"
RV cam? whats that?
With out some specs its hard to determine stall speed/gear ratio/shift points.The original cam that came in a used car I bought was totally done at 4500 rpm and it was 420 lift. 305 heads are not very good,vortecs seem to have good flow numbers for over 400 hp engines.The dual plane aluminum sounds good as recommended already. Q jets can work well too.whats your budget and intentions?Exhaust system you have is what?
test and tune is a great idea if there is a local track that can accommodate you.Good place to learn.
My 350's built 8.5-9 to 1 with cams around 450 lift, performer intake 600 cfm carb, 3.73 28" tire, 2400-3000 stall th350's were in the 14's. In 3800lbs full size gm cars. Pre 95 engine building, vortecs were not out yet.
Route 66 drag way used to have test and tune once a month. It was expensive. Byron was much cheaper but farther.
it has a dual exhaust 2" with headers, i live in wooler near shannonville which has a track but i think its only 1/8 not 1/4 mile. i do plan on going and seeing what it can do, also plan on having the tranny rebuilt with all the go fast parts, like forward drum, stator support, 2nd band replaced with the wider one etc... guess ill wait and see what it runs first then post back and go from there...
The IL electromotive plant for train rebuilding sometimes had 2 events in the summertime. A chassis dyno and a 1/8 mile coarse in the parking lot. The second was a road coarse in their parking lot. It was a lot of fun, had to sign a waiver/release. Have not seen them do that in a while. The road coarse had some dog legs and many cones were flattened that day. See the 70 monte carlos and heavy chevys competeing for times with a honda / toyotas. Really a good time.
Early 90s a 70s grand prix made 260 rwhp , ran 14.4 at 95mph.TH350 3.73 28" tire 3000 stall ,462 heads on a 355, 650 carb, headers. What did I do wrong? That was pretty good no? Big blocks were in the 13's.
Last edited by spinn; 07-15-2012 at 06:00 PM.
sounds like fun. Just make as many passes as you can,get used to the car and enjoy the day.Then you have 1 or 2 weeks until next time trial and you can do 1 change and see what improvements you get.
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Dr. Jean R. Brodnax, MD
Pediatrics, Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
- 111 Grossman Dr
Braintree, MA 02184
- 1 Office Location
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- (781) 849-1000
Dr. Jean R. Brodnax has been practicing medicine for 36 years. Dr. Brodnax graduated from the Boston University School of Medicine in 1978. She practices medicine in Braintree, MA and specializes in Pediatrics. Dr. Brodnax is affiliated with South Shore Hospital and Brigham & Womens Hospital.
Gender: Female
Years in Practice: 36 Years
Languages Spoken: English
Medical School: Boston University School of Medicine
Graduation Date: 1978
Hospital Affiliations: South Shore Hospital, Brigham & Womens Hospital
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