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When you prepare your speech, you ought to behave exactly like the successful orators, who prepare themselves not only for the composition phase, but also for the delivery phase. More precisely, you must prepare the two essential things related to your mother of the groom speech: its content (its text, that is what you will actually say at the wedding party) and its presentation (its delivery, that is how you will give your oration at the reception). This means that you shouldn't undervalue the manner of delivering your toast.
Here is a helpful analogy for understanding the value of the modality of presenting the speech: think about a food product that is advertised on the television; it can be, for example, a chocolate; well, from now on, while preparing your toast, you should see your mother of groom toast like a chocolate promoted on TV: the speech's content (its text) is the chocolate itself, and the speech's presentation is the chocolate's wrapping. Well, the way of delivering any oration is exactly the "wrapping" of that oration.
Mother of the Groom Wedding Speech Tips
You've probably heard the advice saying: "Don't judge a book by its cover!". Unfortunately, when it comes to wedding toasts, the audience is impressed more by the way the toast is delivered, than by the ideas that are communicated through this oration. This means that, in the period prior to the reception, you must focus not only on preparing the text of your mother of the groom wedding speech, but also on preparing the technique of communicating this text to your listeners. Now that I explained you the huge value of the modality of offering the speech, it's time to tell you the most important presentation tips.
Interaction with the audience is the most powerful, important and successful presentation method. By involving your hearers into your oration, you will gain three valuable things: you catch their interest and attention, your toast becomes informal and engaging (these qualities are absolutely necessary for a successful mother of the groom speech), your listeners feel that they are your friends. The interaction with the audience can be obtained by using four techniques. The most effective method is when your voice tone is colloquial, that is when you speak like chatting with your friends. Another method of involving your hearers into your oration is by using the words "you" and "yours" many times during your toast. Looking at your spectators in the eyes and questioning them are other two modalities of making your listeners to participate in your oration.
During your mother of groom toast, you should talk directly not only to your viewers as a whole, but also to some of your listeners in particular. Your son (the one who is getting married, the groom) is the most important attendee with whom you ought to interact, by felicitating him and wishing him a blessed marriage. The bride (who recently became your daughter-in-law) is the second most important participant with whom you must intract, by expressing your admiration for her and by welcoming her in your family.
Besides interacting with your spectators, another effective presentation tip is to feel confident and relaxed while you offer your mother of the groom wedding speech at the reception. You can be relaxed and confident only if you have prepared thoroughly your oration and if you have no emotions. Your voice must not tremble with emotion. There is an easy and effortless way of getting rid of the emotions, and that is by rehearsing your toast. During the rehearsal, you ought to see yourself at the wedding party, with all the attendees looking at you.
Mother of the Groom Speech Example
If you repeat your oration many times, the chances are that you end up learning the speech by heart. In this situation, it's more than likely that you will deliver your toast like a pupil in front of his or her classroom, teacher and classmates, telling the lesson that he has memorized at home. You must avoid to offer your mother of the groom speech like a robot. While you speak, you must not hurry, you must not talk incessantly and you must not use the same level of voice. Instead, you should speak slowly, you ought to pause briefly from time to time and you really should adjust your voice for highlighting the major ideas, words and phrases.


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Steinhaus Named CoSIDA Academic All-District
May 17, 2013
A junior on the Minnesota Wrestling squad, Kevin Steinhaus has been named to the 2012-13 CoSIDA Academic All-District Men's At-Large Team, as selected by the College Sports Information Directors of America.
Steinhaus, who competes at 184 lbs. for the Maroon and Gold, has already made his mark as one of the most dominant wrestlers in Minnesota program history. In four years with the program, he has amassed a 117-25 overall record, including an impressive 29-4 mark during the 2012-13 season. A two-time All-American and three-time NCAA qualifier, Steinhaus went an unblemished 18-0 through this year's dual schedule and, for the second year in a row, marked an undefeated slate (8-0) in regular season conference action. On the season, Steinhaus totaled three pins, nine major decisions, and five technical falls.
Majoring in Kinesiology, Steinhaus has earned a 3.40 cumulative GPA in his college career. He has been recognized by conference officials, earning Academic All-Big Ten recognition in 2012 and 2013.
Academic All-District awards are given to honorees that excel both in the classroom and on the competition platform. First-team Academic All-District honorees advance to the Capital One Academic All-America Team ballot, where first-, second-, and third-team All-America honorees will be selected later this month.
More Headlines
5/12/2014Gophers Add Nine for 2014-15
03/22/2014Nelson and Ness Advance to Finals
03/22/2014Seven Gophers Earn All-American Honors
03/21/2014Four Gophers Advance to Semifinals
03/20/20148 Alive for Titles After Session I
03/20/2014Gophers Second After Day 1

subset: commoncrawl


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Can An Ultrasound Detect Hiv
Here's a taste of what TheBody.com has to offer on this topic:
Get the Facts
The Role of STD Detection and Treatment in HIV PreventionWhat is the link between STDs and HIV infection? How can STD treatment slow the spread of HIV infection? What are the implications for HIV prevention? Where can I get more information? References Testing and treatment of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) can be an effective tool in preventing the spread of HIV , the virus that causes AIDS. An understanding of the relationship between STDs and HIV infection can help in the...
Ask the Experts
Losing fat through ultrasound safe for hiv-positive people?Doctor,I live in Europe, where recently a new non-surgical alternative to liposuction has become available: Ultrashape. Basically its ultrasound waves breaking up the fat cells, whereafter the body gets rid of the released fat and cellular debris by...
Response from Keith Henry, M.D.
University of Minnesota, School of MedicineI have no personal experience with patients undergoing that treatment nor have I seen any literature on use of the technique in HIV+ persons. The fat problems in HIV+ persons of most concern are fat loss or intra-abdominal (not subcutaneous) fat... Read more »
Use of ultrasound as a therapeutic treatment in HIV patientsI am suffering from achillies tendonitis problems and one of the treatment options my physiotherpist has mentioned is using ultrasound as a therapeutic treatment. However she is reticent to use it over concerns that it my make either the problem or...
Response from Benjamin Young, M.D., Ph.D.
Rocky Mountain CARESHello and thanks for your post.There is no reason why ultrasound therapy for your tendon would have any negative effect on your HIV-related health.BY... Read more »
VL<20 Detected v Not DetectedMy Viral Load test results sometimes come back as Detected <20, and other times as Not Detected <20. Is there really a difference if it's <20? ...
Response from Mark Holodniy, M.D., F.A.C.P., C.I.C.
Stanford University, School of MedicineProbably not. The viral load assays have improved over time where the lower limit of detection and quantitation has decreased to very low copy number now. Thus, we can quantitate down to 20 copies/mL, and still detect viral load below that, but are... Read more »
hiv-2 detectability (HIV-2) (HIV-2 TESTING)I recently entered into a short term relationship with someone who is poz. Both gay males, he lives in asia and i live in the US. 100% use of condoms for anal sex. After the relationship ended I have gone for HIV rapid tests at the 7 week point...
Response from Robert J. Frascino, M.D.
The Robert James Frascino AIDS FoundationHi,HIV-2 is not prevalent in Asia. If you are concerned, why not just ask your ex if he has HIV-1 or HIV-2? Yes, HIV-2 screening tests are available, but I do not feel your risk, based on the information provided, warrants HIV-2 testing. I'll... Read more »
Connect With Others
HIV from dirty ultrasound wand?
Posted by Anonymous, 2 Repliesokay for some who dont know there are two types of ultrasounds...one that goes on the stomach, and the other one where they put a wand up your vagina to check out your ovaries. Well recently i just got both of those ultrasound tests done...and I am... Read more »
HIV tests that detect the genetic material of HIV
Posted by nomoreworry4meHIV tests that detect the genetic material of HIV itself (rather than antibodies or antigens) are known as PCR tests. PCR stands for Polymerase Chain Reaction and is a common way of testing for a variety of different organisms. The overall process... Read more »
can an HIV-1 test detect HIV-2?
Posted by Anonymous, 6 RepliesI had several ELISA HIV 1 tests all negative (thank God). But now I'm wondering about HIV 2. Can the HIV 1 test detect HIV 2?
Thanks Read more »
can a hematology blood test detect hiv?
Posted by Anonymous, 1 Replycan a hematology blood test detect if you have hiv??? even though it isnt specifically for HIV like the ELISA??? pls answer Read more »
Guides for People With HIV


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How to know you've been tagged by someone on tumblr?
24 notes · #jayeeshtutorials #tagged #posts #tutorials
Being tagged on a post appears something like this :
How to have a notification for this?. Follow these simple steps
1. type your tumblr on search., Like this..
2. then press enter or the magnifying glass :)
3. Then after that it on the right side, it will appear like this. Click "TRACK"
THERE you go! Whenever you go to tumblr you will see this:
And you'll know you've been TAGGED when you see this:
Enjoy ^_^
Tutorial by: jayeesh.tumblr.com
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OSHA inspections of dental laboratories have increased nationwide. Gary Morgan, CDT, reviews the most commonly cited violations including those that pertain to hazard communication, infection control, personal protective equipment, electrical and machinery and emergency action planning, including workplace violence.
- For more information: To register, visit www.safelinkconsulting.com or contact Sandy Blastick at 800-330-6003 or email@example.com
- Approved for 1 Regulatory Standards credit


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Dr. Daniel A. Hoit, MD
Neurological Surgery, Semmes-Murphey Neurological Clinic
- 6325 Humphreys Blvd
Memphis, TN 38120
- 1 Office Location
- Email a Friend
- (901) 259-5340
Dr. Daniel A. Hoit has been practicing medicine for 12 years. Dr. Hoit graduated from the Yale University School of Medicine in 2002. He practices medicine in Memphis, TN and specializes in Neurological Surgery. Dr. Hoit is affiliated with Methodist University Hospital and Baptist Memorial Hospital Memphis. He speaks English and Spanish.
Gender: Male
Years in Practice: 12 Years
Languages Spoken: English, Spanish
Medical School: Yale University School of Medicine
Graduation Date: 2002
Hospital Affiliations: Methodist University Hospital, Baptist Memorial Hospital Memphis
Specialties: Neurological Surgery
©2005-2014 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information.


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22 Apr 2013 20:19:59
European environment ministers are expected to discuss the European Commission's carbon emissions allowance back-loading proposal and the bloc's long-term climate targets during informal talks held in Dublin on Monday and Tuesday.
The meeting takes place less than a week after the European parliament rejected the commission's proposal.
At the time, the rotating Irish EU presidency said that the European Council will continue to work towards agreement on measures to curb the oversupply in the carbon market (see EDCM 16 April 2013).
EU climate commissioner Connie Hedegaard has since said any progress made by the council will be key to rescuing the proposal.
Back-loading, however, is not due to be formally discussed in Dublin.
All eyes on Germany
But, despite confident talk by the presidency and the commission, market expectations for advancing the proposal in Dublin were low.
"We are not expecting much to emerge from these talks," Jefferies Bache carbon analyst Matthew Gray said in a market note.
He cited the fact that the German stance on the controversial question is still expected to be some time off.
Germany is widely regarded as the most influential member state on the matter, but its environment and economy ministries have failed to reach agreement on it.
Europe's sovereign debt crisis had changed its political environment, which had implications for the proposal, Gray said.
"We are still confident that Germany will vote in favour of ETS reform," he said. "But, due to their hegemonic status in Europe and federal elections later this year, an official German position may not occur until late Q3."
The Irish presidency said that a process of reflection is going on both within the parliament and the council. A spokesman said by e-mail that the environment, public health and food safety committee has two months to consider the matter so its deliberations are likely to "be important on whether Germany will have a basis for reconsidering its position then (in June) or whether it will be something that may stretch to the other side of the German [federal] election".
The election, scheduled for 22 September, could reorganise Germany's political landscape in favour of passing the back-loading proposal. At the moment, chancellor Angela Merkel's Christian Democrat Party (CDU) is expected to be re-elected but its coalition partner, the Liberal Party (FDP), is performing poorly in polls.
According to researchers at the London School of Economics and Political Science, the most likely election outcome is therefore the replacement of the FDP as coalition partner by either the Social Democrats (SPD) or the Green Party.
As a result, minister of economics and technology and outspoken opponent of the back-loading proposal Philipp Rösler could be replaced before the end of the year, which could break the deadlock within the German government on the back-loading issue.
CEE countries on 2030 targets
Ministers will also discuss a 2030 framework for Europe's climate and energy policies during their Dublin meeting.
The EU recently launched a consultation on numerous issues surrounding the setting of 2030 CO2 reduction and energy targets (see EDCM 27 March 2013). Hedegaard has said the EU should set those targets in the next two-and-a-half years.
Environmental ministers from the Czech Republic, Poland, Slovakia and Hungary - the so-called Visegrad group of countries - plus their Romanian and Bulgarian counterparts met last week in Poland to agree a common position on 2030 goals.
In a joint statement after the meeting, the six countries stressed the need to combine discussions on EU climate and energy policy framework with global negotiations, which are conducted through the UN.
"These two dimensions should go hand in hand," they said.
The 27-member EU is already consulting stakeholders in a bid to shape its position on a potential global climate deal by 2015 that is to be implemented between 2020-2030 (see EDCM 26 March 2013). The Visegrad group labelled such an agreement, which is also due to be discussed in Dublin on Tuesday, both plausible and important.
Objectives balance
The six countries also called for setting country-specific targets that account for national and sectoral circumstances, and for assessing the impact that targets have made on member states to date.
"The balance between policy objectives should be the guiding principle of the new framework, with a special focus on competitive and sustainable growth and job creation," they said.
Poland will host the next Conference of Parties (COP 19) to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, which will take place in Warsaw at the end of this year. Silvia Molteni
31 Oct 2014 17:06
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In Focus
We stand in a time of wonderful opportunities. From Swami Vivekananda's address in 1883, the American platform has always been receptive to the message of Hinduism. Today the scene is not only more welcoming to our way of life but …
- Hinduism Awareness Week: Project Lead: Sameer Gajjar (email@example.com) The Hinduism Awareness Week Project seeks to take a step towards correcting common misconceptions of Hinduism...
- Hindu Animation Project: (Project Lead: Sonal Dhawan: email@example.com) The first four videos on Youtube surpass two billion views everyday, its about time we got...
- Mantra Project: (Project Lead: Varun Mehta: email@example.com) As a generation that may need some help in increasing familiarity with our religious texts, HSA...
- Gateway 2014- February 7-9th 2014 at URJ Greene Family Camp, 1192 Smith Lane, Bruceville, TX 76630 : Gateway 2014 brings together people from universities across the southern United States to educate themselves on Sanatana Dharma, discuss issues affecting Hindus, and jointly inspire one another to take leadership roles in the Hindu community. In addition to providing a break from daily college life...
I've learned, through HSA, to treat my opportunity of being a leader as a privilege and not as a burden.
Hindu Students Association helps me develop as a leader.
HSA allowed me to find others with similar morals and backgrounds.
It gave me a secure platform to voice my religion as a student and be proud of my Hindu-American identity.
HSA shows me a way to be Hindu, as I live my young adult life- it shows me my religion in music.
HSA has allowed me to explore Hinduism and be connected with my faith as a young adult.
HSA has provided me the platform to voice my opinion as a young adult.


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Sandra asks…
I need help with something, I have these things….?
I have a scar about 4 inches long on my left shoulder from riding through the woods and a horse running through a tree while I was riding and I also have a scar from a surgery I had to have after being stepped on by my horse… I have tried a few things but I cant seem to get them to go away, I was also just wondering if it is poaaible to be TOO flexible…..
admin answers:
If the scar is wider than you might expect (compared to a normal person's skin), and the skin over the scar is thinner than a normal person, then the scar could be related to your flexibility. You could have a connective tissue disorder called Ehler-Danlos Syndrome.
People with EDS often have fragile, stretchy skin and very loose joints. If you think that this describes you, then you should see your doctor to see which subtype of EDS you might have. One subtype is associated with a particular (and treatable) heart problem. All of the subtypes are associated with arthritis (when you're older) from accidentally moving joints too far in the wrong direction.
Of course, the two conditions could be unrelated. You could have a perfectly normal scar from your accident and a mild and uncomplicated case of joint hypermobility.
Ruth asks…
Kidney infection after HSG test?
I just had a HSG test Thursday, Sat afternoon I suddenly developed the chills really bad, body was hot to the touch, headache, nausea, dizzyness. I called my Dr Saturday night and he said its rare but I could have gotten a infection from the test so he prescribed me the z-pack. I woke up today and my fever is a little better but I am now having sharp pains in my lower right back, I am not having trouble urinating nor is their blood in my urine. I am worried its something else, did anyone have these symptoms after a HSG test? No appetite also since Sat, slept for almost 24 hrs and my tubes are open but I still have some scar tissue from a surgery I had last year with a previous PID infection. I am calling my Dr again today, just curious if anyone else had this?
admin answers:
I've had 2 with no complications other the pain in my shoulder which is to be expected.
The best I could find for you was advancedfertility.com, I copied some over, but you may want to on it yourself for more info.
Hope your ok, best of luck at the doctors.
Complications associated with a hysterosalpingogram include the possibility of an allergic reaction to the dye, which is uncommon. This usually causes a rash, but can rarely be more serious. Pelvic infection or uterine perforation are also possible complications, but these are very uncommon.
If a woman has multiple sexual partners or is otherwise at risk for sexually transmitted diseases, she might be screened with cervical cultures before doing an HSG. Some physicians prescribe several days of antibiotics to reduce risk of infection after HSG.
Joseph asks…
Pros/Cons on allowing facial piercings at school.?
The title says it all.. i'm trying to do a persuasive essay on allowing facial piercings at school and I would like your opinions and pros/cons. Thanks.
admin answers:
See some pros and cons (For the bonus, see guides of how to deal with such symptoms)…
cause of problems from piercings is the wrong kind of jewelry for the area pierced. If the jewelry is too small, it can actually cut off the blood supply to the tissue, causing swelling and pain. If the jewelry is either too thin or too heavy or if you are allergic to the metal, your body can sometimes reject the jewelry (your body reacts against the jewelry because it is a "foreign object").
Bacterial infection (where you had the piercing)
Excessive (a lot of) bleeding
Allergic reactions (especially to certain kinds of jewelry)
Damage to nerves (for example, you may lose feeling at the area that gets pierced)
Keloids (thick scarring at the piercing site)
Dental damage (swelling and infection of tongue, chipped and broken teeth, choking on loose jewelry)
takes 2-3 months to heal
Implant grade stainless steel is least likely to produce a foreign body reaction or infection in the skin. Other choices for new piercings are metals such as gold (AT LEAST 18 karat), titanium, or niobium. All of these cost more than implant grade stainless steel but are safe
Silver is not a good choice for new piercings because the tarnish from silver gets deposited into the skin. The deposits often darken the skin around the piercing which can be permanent. Sterling silver jewelry can be safely worn on most healed piercings but it should not be worn in the mouth or genital area where the skin is moist.
Gold jewelry should be 18 karat (75% gold) for new piercings and at least 14k gold for healed piercings. Gold-filled or gold-plated jewelry should never be used in any piercings because the metal is very thin. The finish wears away easily and it chips even with the slightest contact with the body. Some people have difficulty with white gold,because white gold contains "nickel" – a metal that many people are allergic too
Titanium is not only used for jewelry but also for surgical implants in the body. For example, titanium implants are used for shoulder replacement surgery because it is lightweight and porous. There are actually tiny pores in the metal that allow tissue in the body to attach to it. For this reason, it is recommended that Titanium jewelry be highly polished to reduce the "porosity" (pores or very tiny holes in the metal). For people who are extremely sensitive to metal, Teflon or nylon piercings may be used.
Bars, which are the type of jewelry used in some piercings like the tongue, are measured in length (how long the bar is). When the piercing is first done, a longer bar will be used. When the piercing heals, a shorter bar is used
Ring jewelry is measured by diameter, or how wide the ring is
Gauge means the thickness of the jewelry. The smaller the gauge number, the thicker the jewelry. The APP says that jewelry no greater than 14 gauge should be used below the neck. This is because of the risk of a foreign body reaction and the possibility of the ring cutting the skin.
Do NOT use alcohol or Peroxide to clean the area. (Both products will dry out your skin.) Other strong solutions such as Betadine will discolor gold jewelry.
Rinse the pierced skin after exercising since sweat may irritate the piercing.
Keep the pierced area from coming in contact with other people's body fluids, such as saliva and sweat. (Do not have oral sexual contact for 4-6 weeks if you have a tongue, lip, or genital piercing).
Keep things clean that come in contact with the body part that has been pierced. For example, keep your phone clean if you have an ear piercing, keep your glasses clean for ear and eyebrow piercings, cover your ear lobe with a tissue if you use hair spray, and try not to apply makeup close to piercing sites.
Check your jewelry many times during the day to see if any parts have become loose, especially if you have a tongue piercing. If a bar becomes loose, you can accidentally swallow it or damage a permanent tooth.
Do NOT use a hot tub or swim in public pools until your piercing has healed.
Rinse tongue or lip piercings after every meal or snack. Rinse for 30 to 60 seconds after eating with an antibacterial, alcohol-free mouthwash, or a warm salt water rinse. Or, alternately, make a mix with one part water, and one part hydrogen-peroxide, and apply it directly to the piercing site with a cotton swab. The bubbling peroxide can help remove food stuck in the site.
Too much to include from other links… See under Sources..
William asks…
Sore Shoulder after massage?
On Friday my friend gave me a massage she's not proffesional, but i havnt have a prob with her b4 and well this time she was giving me one and she found a certain spot right on the bone of my left shoulder blade, i have been having pain there for a few months, and i think that may have been the spot where the pain was coming from so i thiought oh good this might fix it, but the pain was so bad i passed out and was in extreme agony afterwards, and couldnt sleep on it, for the next couple of nights and i stil, cant sleep on it, so you think she may have done more damage, by massaging it, should i go to the doctor? or chiropractor also wat should i do to control the pain until i can get an appointment?
admin answers:
Scar Tissue and Chronic Pain in Supraspinatus Tendinitis
This injury can persist for years if not accurately assessed and treated. The Essential Principle of adhesive scar tissue formation explains how this can happen. Let's say that as a youth your client tore some of the supraspinatus tendon fibers during a tournament swim. She might have felt some pain at the time, but the injury seemed to heal completely on its own. Unfortunately, it is likely that some adhesive scar tissue from that healing remained in the tendon. Years later, the client ran through the airport carrying her heavy suitcase and then noticed a sore shoulder for a week or so. What she didn't know was that more of the tendon fibers tore around her original injury, and the area of weak adhesive scar tissue increased. Then last winter, she fell forward on the ice and caught herself with her arms, since then, she's experienced daily shoulder pain. The built-up adhesive scar tissue left her subscapularis muscle in a weak and vulnerable condition, so that when called upon in an emergency, the muscle could not do its job and suffered further injury.
In general, when a client comes to you with this type of shoulder pain, always have her see a physician to check for serious underlying conditions or injuries. If a fall or trauma brought on the injury, it is wise to have the person go for an X-ray to see if there is a fracture. When the X-ray is read, deposits of calcium are sometimes found in the supraspinatus tendon. It is often assumed that these deposits, rather than an inflammation in the tendon, are the cause of pain, and surgery may be recommended. Supraspinatus pain that is due to calcium deposits in the tendon is unusual but is successfully treated by surgery. There are often calcium deposits present, too, which cause no pain.
David asks…
I completely tore my anterior talofibular ligament and i've got 2 more high-grade partial tears?
The first high-grade partial tear is at my calcaneonavicular ligament and the other one's at my medial deltoid ligament. it happened on the 13th of February, 2011. I had an MRI done and the doctor said i needed surgery so i decided to get a second opinion. The new doctor told me i didn't need surgery and just needed physiotherapy. It's been 9 weeks since my injury and it's still really stiff and a bit painful. Parts of my ankle are also bigger but my doctor says they're just scar tissues and probably won't get smaller. I just wanna know if i need surgery. p.s. I'm 20 and very active p.s.s. i was able to play basketball smoothly today. Thanks in advance
i also forgot to mention that i have been doing physiotherapy everyday for the past month or so.
admin answers:
Saab, if you are able to play basketball without having problems then things are going well. Try these movements to see if they speed up the process. Stand in front of a wall or the back of a chair. Place your fingertips on the wall at shoulder height or on the top of the chair. Keep your knee of the Uninjured leg straight and bend the knee of the injured leg. Using only the Uninjured leg raise that heel up as high and hard as you can and then return it to the floor. Do this 15 times and then rest it for one minute. Repeat that cycle twice more. Now go to the arm of a sofa and sit on it. Using only the Uninjured leg raise yourself up and then return to the seated position. Do this 20 times as smoothly as possible then rest for 1 minute. Repeat that cycle twice more. Now go to the rear of a sofa and sit on the top of the sofa. Using only the Uninjured leg stand up as quickly as you can and return to the seated position. Do this 10 times and rest for a minute. Repeat this cycle twice more. Now move around and test the injured ankle it should be stronger and more stable. It will seem funny working on the uninjured leg to gain stability with the injured one but it works. Continue working this way and when the injured ankle feels 100% then start to strengthen it but only after you have worked the opposite leg first.
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Catholic activists petition LA cardinal not to join papal conclave
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Roman Catholic activists on Saturday petitioned a U.S. cardinal to recuse himself from taking part in selecting a new pope so as not to insult survivors of sexual abuse by priests committed while he was archbishop of Los Angeles.
The activists delivered a petition with nearly 10,000 signatures to the North Hollywood church where Cardinal Roger Mahony resides.
"It's a total slap in the face to victims to think (Mahony) can cover up 25 years of child sex abuse and then go prancing off to Rome like a prince of the Church," said Joelle Casteix, western regional director of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests.
As archbishop of Los Angeles from 1985 until 2011, Mahony worked to send priests known to be abusers out of state to shield them from law enforcement scrutiny in the 1980s, according to church files unsealed under a U.S. court order last month.
Although his successor, Archbishop Jose Gomez, removed him from all public and administrative duties, Mahony has announced his intention to be among 117 cardinals allowed into the Vatican's Sistine Chapel to vote for the next leader of the world's 1.2 billion Catholics.
Last week, Pope Benedict XVI, 85, announced his resignation effective February 28, making him the first pope in centuries to abdicate rather than die in office.
His eight-year reign will be remembered by many for the child sex abuse scandal in Europe and the United States - most of which took place in the 1980s but which came to light more recently.
In California, at a news conference outside the St. Charles Borromeo Church, where Mahony is in residence, members of the groups held up signs reading, "Respect the victims. Honor the church. Hold leaders accountable."
"This should be a time for new beginnings," said Chris Pumpelly, a spokesman for social justice nonprofit Catholics United, before delivering the petitions to the church. If Mahony were to vote, "it would be a step backward. It would be a validation of the old ways."
It was unclear whether Mahony was at the church at the time, or if he would receive the documents before he left for Rome.
Earlier on Saturday, Mahony was deposed for more than three hours about his handling of sex-abuse cases. It was the first time he was asked about the church files unsealed last month, the Los Angeles Times reported.
Influential Italian magazine Famiglia Cristiana, or "Christian Family," has also questioned whether Mahony should be part of the conclave. Many readers responded online that he should not.
On Friday, Mahony took to Twitter to repeat his intent on voting: "Just a few short hours before my departure for Rome. Will be tweeting often from Rome, except during the actual Conclave itself. Prayers!"
(Editing by Cynthia Johnston; and Jackie Frank)
He should be in prison (and may soon be ensconced there) instead of going to a papal conclave. He was deposed for four hours yesterday also over his involvement in hiding and protecting pedophile priests. The church did everything it could to keep the documents in the case from being revealed hoping the inquiry and deposition would never happen.
This is the church which has mislead and deceived parishoners for centuries and yet they expect that church will elect a pope with 'infallibility' ?
Saturday night live will have a field day with this preposterous nonsense.
- Army officer takes charge in Burkina Faso, ousting general |
- Branson to meet Virgin Galactic space team after crash |
- UK says will pay off part of World War One-era debt next year
- Kurdish peshmerga forces enter Syria's Kobani after further air strikes |
- Test flight of Virgin Galactic spaceship ends in fatal crash in California


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what do you do when everything you do makes someone's life miserable but you can't help it and you can't apologise enough, they just always seem to get upset again and you feel like shit but you're pretty much helpless?
Posted on Wednesday, March 27th at 09:21PM with 9 notes
tagged as: how do i even go about fixing this, text post, please i need help,
tagged as: how do i even go about fixing this, text post, please i need help,
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BREAKING: Photos Of Russian Consulate Protest Hit The Web
Yesterday, Queer Nation and RUSA LGBT announced that the two organizations would be holding a joint protest of anti-gay violence and legislation outside of the Russian Consulate in Manhattan today. Now, according to Joe My God, "100 activists are demonstrating outside the Russian consulate". They've also apparently been joined by members of ACT UP, and photos are now hitting the web thanks to the Memeographs Facebook page and the ACT UP New York Twitter Account.
View some of the photos AFTER THE JUMP...
Continue reading "BREAKING: Photos Of Russian Consulate Protest Hit The Web" »


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Recent Posts
Teen Moms Deserve Safe Spaces to Vent
In the past few months, there have been a few new anonymous apps and websites developed with the intention of providing a forum for people to 'vent' and anonymously and share their secrets with the world. While millennials have used apps like Whisper to seek advice or share their stories with strangers, so have millennial parents. We know that some parenthood isn't always sunshine and giggles, and this rings true for teen parenthood too.
I can imagine which feelings young parents share on Whisper, often times feelings that are regretful and wishful of a different outcome for their lives. Unfortunately, some were eager to pick up on the reality that young moms can feel regretful and overwhelmed by parenthood. Instead of asking, "Why don't young moms have safe spaces to share their honest feelings and find support?" some chose to perpetuate the stigma that young moms are fighting against every day. Truthfully, our society hasn't done a good job of creating a safe space for moms to vent about parenthood and our society certainly doesn't provide a safe space for young moms to share the reality of what their lives are like without exploiting them for an unrelated agenda.
Here's my secret:
"Mom, Mom…MOM!" All yelled within two seconds of each other. "What!" I finally respond, with a voice elevated enough to answer my neighbor's children. I know my name is "Mom" I got it, but is it just too much to ask if I don't have it shouted for immediate attention three times consecutively? I get, and I'm sure all moms have realized more in the last year that they will only be shouting "Mom" with loving intention and I will get annoyed by it. Does that make me a bad mother? Does my age determine whether annoyance is a valid feeling?
Like all moms, I love being a mom and I love my children, but sometimes I just don't want to hear my children scream my name. Like all moms, sometimes I feel overwhelmed. But like most moms, these feelings don't overpower the other things I feel unless an entire society pushes that on me.We live in a culture that constantly reminds young moms that their lives are over, that their children are mistakes, and that they have futureless predetermined destinies. Why are we surprised when those feelings are internalized?
I too have experienced similar feelings over the years as both a mother and a woman; however I don't think that these are feelings that all young mothers are feeling predominately. And if they are, we should work to respect and recognize their valid feelings and provide the support they need to thrive. I think mothers (and fathers) of all ages feel this way, and I actually believe they are less to do with the mothering or fathering roles themselves, but more our introspective feelings as men and women, as human beings. I'm sorry (actually I'm not) but it's a complete mistake to take a young parent's feelings of disappointment, fear or insecurity and spin them into regret and shame as if they are feeling that way because they are young. Let's be real: They are feeling that way because they are HUMAN and those feelings are valid! If I were in a room with ten mothers and ten fathers (ages ranging from 16-45) I'd be hard pressed to believe that the feelings that they were experiencing throughout their different stages of life would be very different when it comes to their self-reflection as parents.
Have you ever woken up and though "What If"? I've for one have had many "what if" moments: "What if I had not stayed in that relationship that I knew wasn't right for so long", "What if I was older when I had my son", "What if I had applied for that job", "What if I did what I really wanted to do versus what people expect me to do" "What if I hadn't flown off the handle about that broken glass"? Many times I associate those what if's with selfishness, I mean what kind of mother am I if I'm even thinking of what my life would look like if I didn't have my children when I did? Maybe if I hadn't flown off the handle about that broken glass my son would have had a better start to his morning, (insert self-deprecating thought here) "It must be because I had him so young and I'm an ill-equip mother". After long thought and contemplation (and a life-changing training with The Circle of Security Parenting DVD) I confidently come to the conclusion that I am okay with thinking about both my past and my future in a healthy way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having healthy internal dialog about my life, about giving myself the time I deserve and quite frankly have earned to listen to my own thoughts without feeling shame. If I feel like wondering what it would be like to lay on a beach with a good book and a margarita for a week instead of chauffeuring to school, work and soccer, then guess what? I will, and…get this: I'm NOT going to feel bad or like I'm a bad mother for it either!
When I think about my future and the future of my children, I think sometimes that I am sad that they don't have a 'traditional family'. They don't have mom and dad to come home to together, we don't sing songs around the campfire with our musical instruments, and I am aware that it is a possibility that they may not have those things with me. I, like too many women, unfortunately have also had the negative thoughts that "It must be something wrong with me, or maybe I would have those things if I had made different choices". Enough already! I'm over people associating my position in life with my having been a teen mother. I am in the same position as so many people, regardless of their age, sex, marital and/or parenting status. I don't get to think, dream or wonder any less than you do because of my age! Anyone who says they don't do the same is lying to you…we all do it, some of us have just become better at hiding it. How dare we dream and wonder , "You made your bed now lie in it." (anyone who ever said that to me, by the way, that wasn't very nice).
I don't feel guilty for having honest and open thoughts about my life, and find peace in that because I know that we all are, whether we choose to admit it or not. My being a teen mother has not provided the avenue for these thoughts, but my being alive has, just like all of you. For those sites who have made it their point and purpose to provide an outlet for 'young mothers or fathers' to share their regrets about being a teen parent, I would have to say it is a cruel and manipulative message you are sending. Choosing to takes a person's position in life (whether by choice or not) and con them into thinking they are feeling those things because of their age, when in fact they are feeling what many parents whether 16, 26, 36 or 46 years old have been, are currently and will continue to feel is manipulative and provides a false sense of security for young people who would better benefit with positive forums, celebrating their success and sharing their fears and questions with all parents.
Young people who are reaching out for support, acknowledgement and reassurance are turning to these seemingly knowing 'resources' only to be further shamed and isolated. To all the moms and dads, young or old, I challenge you to be honest with who and where you are in life. There should be no shame associated with self-reflection, honest self-awareness and goal-setting to provide yourselves and your families with what you most desire. You are good enough, and dammit, don't feel bad about dreaming of the beach!
Being in School as a Pregnant Teen
Going to high school as a pregnant and parenting teen led to many mixed emotions, negative thoughts, shame and stigma, but most definitely also an eagerness to graduate. That desire to graduate was only reinforced by all the negative things society had to say about young parents not graduating and dropping out of school. In my school the rumor went around after every vacation I tool that apparently I wasn't coming back. Completely bogus. A lot of the mixed emotions and negative thoughts were the awkward things I experienced during the school day throughout the school year, not only pregnant but coming back after birth. Luckily I was able to graduate on time in 2013.
In May 2014 I submitted my oral testimony at the Boston Public School (BPS) policy hearing about my experiences in high school, and why the expectant and pregnant policy should be passed for the upcoming school year. With all the advocacy done towards the issue, on June 4th 2014 the policy passed! Now BPS has a great policy on expectant and parenting students. Pregnant or parenting students now have the opportunity to finish their high school education without being mistreated or unaware of their rights. I am very excited to see the results on how this policy improves the graduation outcomes for the BPS students.
After graduating high school I quickly enrolled in Bunker Hill as a full time student. Due to my child care inconveniences and lack of motivation I didn't complete the fall or spring semesters for the 2013-2014 school year. I knew i wanted to go to school, but the pressure lead me to take on a college responsibility before I was really ready. After being out of school for two semesters I finally realized I wanted to be in school and i am ready to go back and kick ass! I am now motivated, something that I didn't feel right after I graduated.
In my situation it took me taking time out of school to realize what I wanted. As a young parent I may tell you it is okay to not know what you want to do for the rest of your life at such a young age. Its okay to feel unmotivated and scared at some point, after all the negative things coming at you sometimes school may be the last thing on your mind. And for those who are completely ready to start college and are motivated after high school, hey I admire that and look up to you! Not everyone is the same, this is just what I experienced after high school and now I am striving for great things in life. I'm ready to get my degree and be successful, not to prove the world wrong, but to prove myself right!
When I got pregnant my senior year of high school, I honestly never thought much about how being a young mom would impact me in the ways it has. I remember growing up, thinking, I would NEVER want to fuck up and be a teen mom. To be pregnant in high school, not married, to be a single mom, those were not positive things for me to be. I grew up around conservative ideals of motherhood and female sexuality. I hid the fact that I was on the pill and having sex with my boyfriend. Of course, some of these would good boundaries, but I wasn't hiding them to establish healthy boundaries with parents (I don't think I really knew what healthy boundaries with parents was). I was hiding my sexuality because I was terrified they would hate me.
So, coming close to 14 years ago, I got pregnant. I was also on the pill. I had sex for the first time, literally, the month prior. My pregnancy was a horribly lonesome time. I hid my pregnancy from everyone. I wore baggy clothes and acted as if nothing was different. I felt ashamed and I blamed my morning multivitamin for my morning sickness. I would throw up in gym and band class. Band would end and here I was packing up my flute quickly, feeling the urge to puke, and running to the garbage can or bathroom … leaving class without permission. I was hiding saltine crackers and PowerAde in my locker, eating and drinking them quickly between classes. Trying to keep the puke down. Looking back, it is amazing how I survived. Seriously. When I see teen girls pregnant, I usually think: fuck, I hope you have support because it's fucking rough. Now, I'm 32. If I was pregnant now, I think I would be scared, but not as scared. And I wouldn't be so ashamed and alone.
Not only was my teen pregnancy completely horrible, but so was my social situation. I had a lot of conflicts with my parents. I moved out my senior year into my own studio apartment. I worked full-time at McDonald's and after graduating high school; I got a second job at Bingorama. My daughter was due in September. But I honestly was not paying much attention. The more I hung out with my punk, queer friends - the more I felt less crazy and the more I could ignore what situation I was really in. My boyfriend got into drugs, again, and we broke up shortly after I graduated high school. He still had a year of high school left, but dropped out after getting released from the school for teens with legal and mental health problems he was attending. He was supposed to do adult learning classes, but never did. I felt so depressed and betrayed. He was a manipulative, controlling abuser, but I still loved him and I never realized how abusive he actually was until many years after I left him.
The whole summer I was pregnant, I worked, hung out with my punk, queer friends, and slept. That's all. I would stay up watching VH1 reruns of "Where Are They Now?" and "Hollywood Story." My ex-boyfriend got into selling drugs and eventually was caught. He was arrested the weekend before I was due. I spent the day before my due date hanging out with his then new girlfriend, raising money to bail him out of jail. She didn't know I was pregnant until his mom called, screaming at him about the drugs, my pregnancy, and him being arrested. I sold CDs and movies, I put my graduation money up for collateral, and his friend put her car up for collateral after speaking to the bonds people.
He got out of jail until his trial.
Here I was: 18 and pregnant, not married, baby-daddy just got out of jail. In many ways, I just kept thinking about how typical this was. Of course this is my life. Of course I would never think my life would go this way, but it did. Of course this is what I was told not to be and this is how I end up being.
I gave birth to my daughter, unassisted on September 25, 2001. Her father was there. He rapped Ol' Dirty Bastard, which I screamed "owie" the entire time. When she was born, they placed her on me and honestly, I didn't have this deep connection. That deep connection people talk about, I was detached from the situation, looking in. I was so ashamed and I did not develop a bond immediately. But I do remember when I saw her; I started to cry because she had super huge eyes, she was so small, and the nurse said, "she recognizes your name."
When I was pregnant I did consider abortion and adoption. By the time I found out I was pregnant, it was too late to get an abortion in the state I live. As far as adoption, I went as far as visiting the adoption agency in town and looking at potential parents. I remember looking through the binder, thinking … I have to decide, of these people, who my baby should go. How is this even possible? Am I not worthy? What is going on? All these decisions only felt like a Band-Aid to the situation I was in. I felt forced into making a decision I wasn't prepared for! And each of those potential decisions … it was a forceful decision being placed on everyone around me. I even had hospital staff urging adoption or foster care. I had a social service agency forcing adoption. I had nurses telling me how hard teen parenting is. No encouragement, what so ever. I was so confused and scared and alone.
In the end, I decided to keep her, even though I was so scared and confused and felt alone and felt like I was making the wrong decision. I felt I was going to fuck up her life. I was a teen mom. I was poor. I just graduated high school. I had no degree. Her baby-daddy was not reliable and he was abusive. He was a drug addict and an alcoholic. He called me a "whore" when he called me from his house while I was at the hospital after I was confronted about his behavior and recent arrest. I told everyone about his recent arrest because people saw it in the newspaper. I told no one that he called me a "whore."
I moved into my mom and stepdad's temporarily. I still had my studio apartment, though. I lived with them for about a month and actually found a new job that started a month after my daughter was born. So I decided to do that. It paid better and it was full time and the hours were the steady. I secretly got back together with my baby-daddy. However, eventually people found out. He was in and out of jobs. He couldn't keep one. He actually ended up going to jail for the drug charges. He was sentenced to 18 months and all but 6 were suspended. I spent two days a week visiting him in jail with our daughter. I wrote him everyday and wrote to the judge, asking for early release. He did get out about a month early.
When he got out, things changed. I thought things would better. I thought him going to jail and missing out of our daughter's infancy would make things better. Looking back, I felt so much better when he was in jail. Life was better. When he was out of jail, he was back into drugs and alcohol and rarely helped, but I wanted things to work out so much that I kept going with it. He was on probation, too. We ended up moving to a bigger city together and I enrolled in a community college for graphic design. It took me about two years to get my associate's. During that time, I met other single and teen moms through a website called girl-mom.com (RIP!). Some of the moms lived in the city I did. I slowly started to open up about the abuse I was experience. He was cheating on me, verbally and emotionally abusing me, and he had raped and sexually abused me. I had no context to figure out what exactly was going on and so much of it became so internalized that I just KNEW it was my fault. I had no context to take a step back and realize I did not deserve this and neither did my daughter.
Eventually I couldn't take it anymore. He moved out to "work on our relationship" into a mutual friend's apartment. During that time, I found some incriminating things on our computer, so I ended the relationship. I finally fucking ended the destructive, horrible relationship. And even though it was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done, I felt so fucking free. I remember it took me about 2 hours for me to tell him. We sat on the couch and he kept asking me what was wrong, I kept crying, and I finally told him, and he got so angry with me. He blamed me, screamed at me, packed up his stuff, throwing random statements about how horrible I was, and left. He tried to keep coming back. He kept texting me … saying he loved me, that nothing will change that. He would pound on the apartment door for, what seemed like hours. I never opened it. I pushed through. I never went back, even though I wanted to. Of course, that wasn't the first time I had tried to break up with him. I had tried to do it before. It was hard because I truly fucking loved him. I loved him for a long time after we broke up, too. I wanted to help him, I wanted him to have a better life. Only years later, I found out that was not in my control or was it my responsibility.
I was barely financially making it in that city, so I moved back to my home state. I transferred colleges to work toward my Bachelor's and ended up graduating with my BA in sociology and women's studies (double major). During this time, I worked really hard on my mental health. I quit drinking, started counseling off/on, and developed health new relationships. I went on a limb and slept around, but even further I entered a monogamous healthy relationship with a man I am still dating today. He is so supportive and I have probably never met someone more supportive in my life. He's encouraged me and never judged me and has been a huge part of my recovery when it came to all of this; leaving an abusive relationship, becoming sober, going to eating disorder treatment, and helping with my daughter. I also went to a parenting class and set firm boundaries with my baby-daddy. In fact, my daughter and I don't talk to him anymore. She even called him out over the phone for his bullshit and lies. It was so brave and amazing!!
In 2010, I was also accepted into a graduate program for a Master's in Counseling. During those two years, I worked part-time, went to school full-time, and entered outpatient eating disorder treatment. My eating disorder was something that I have had most of my life and I got to the point of not being able to take it anymore. I was driving an hour away to go to my appointments and working, going to class, and doing my internship. I graduated in 2012. But I wanted more … I wanted something different, so I applied for a Master's in Public Health program and was accepted. Public health was where I realized that is what I wanted to do. I focused all my research and work around women's issues, including birth control, abortion, maternal health, and teen pregnancy. I graduated this year and now I work at the local domestic violence organization doing research and attending court to ensure offenders of DV and SA are being held accountable. I also help run survivor groups and take part of various community activities. It is such a great fit for me!
Like many single and teen mothers, I was also poor this entire time. I've been on all kinds of public assistance to help us out! I NEEDED food stamps, Medicaid, housing assistance, and heating assistance. We would be starving and homeless without it. Medicaid helped me go to eating disorder treatment and helped pay for my daughter and my asthma medicine. Food stamps provided us nutritious vegetarian foods. Housing helped us have a decent apartment close to her elementary and middle schools. We walk, bike, and take the bus as often to save money on gas and I try to teach her to not rely on cars so much.
When I look back at how I have been in my life. I grew up in an abusive home and that cycle did not end. I ended up with an abuser. I got pregnant as a teen in high school. I went through a whole lot of shit to get to where I needed to be. I never felt strong. I always felt weak and like a huge failure. But I also knew, so desperately knew that I DID NOT want my daughter to end up where I did. I wanted her to have a mom who left abusive relationships; got the help she needed, didn't feel so ashamed of her choices, and could go far in her life because I knew that she could.
And on the other hand, if I never had my daughter, I do not think I would have done ANY of this. I think I would have stayed where I was. I probably would not have gone to college or graduate school. I honestly would probably be using harder drugs, I would have never gotten sober or started recovery for my eating disorder.
I must say that I would not have gotten to where I was without the support I had. I had the moms from girl-mom.com. I have had my boyfriend's continued support. I have had the help of counseling and recovery. I have had friends' help. And while I do not get along with my mom, most of the time, she helped me at the beginning with watching my daughter.
I would not have gotten to any of this without becoming a teen mom, as well. I truly believe my life was saved because I become a mom as a teen. My daughter gave me the motivation to make MY life better, HER life better, and ours.
I can never say enough that encouragement and support goes a long way. Seeing that others can "do it" (whatever that is for a person) is also just as important. I remember seeing former teen moms going to medical school or enrolling into a PhD program or getting super amazing jobs or raising their special needs kids on their own. They're all important. So whether teen moms want to go to college or not, I think they're all amazing. Teen moms need support and when they get it, I see them go to amazing places. They're my fucking heroes.
Admitting The Truth Hurts
"Mommy, when can I see nana or papa?"
The words cut me as glass. How I want to respond "because they are not fundamentally good people that pushed me out of their life, all my life, in many different ways … but as a lost puppy I would return only to be tossed out, cast away, shamed, and made to feel that their failures in life were my own and somehow my responsibility to fix". What I really say to my son is that "you know that saying if you have nothing nice to say than don't say anything at all … well that's kind of the decision I made with continuing this relationship I have with them."
Blank stare. That's all he does. No words.
So I continue, "mommy doesn't think they are really bad people to everyone… they never have done anything horrible that you know about or remember … but basically I just don't enjoy the time we share, or, the way you or I are treated by them. As kids we are forced to respect our parents even if our parents don't respect us. There's a difference in not getting everything you want as a child and not getting everything you need. There's an emotional bond me and you share that I always wanted with my parents… "
I stop because at this point I'm talking about so many raw feelings it hurts and I'm getting emotional and teary eyed.
Dyl looks up at me with squinty eyes and just says "okay, I love you… but are you going to cry?"
I start to laugh… Literally hysterically …then wrap myself around him and just snuggle him. Even when it hurts to think about the pain and hurt I feel from my parents— he makes me serendipitously happy.
You may not have been able to choose the childhood and life you had as a child but you can change the childhood your child will have by breaking those chains and building even stronger ones with your children. Even if you don't have many things in mind that your parents did right by you that you want you to do in return for your children; there are the things that you know you don't ever want to do. So use the negative as a guide of what not to do and instead teach them boundaries, teach them responsibility, teach them the power and value of not only an education but the idea to stay hungry for knowledge, teach them what's right and wrong, and most importantly say "I LOVE YOU" even after the day they say "MOM I KNOW ".
What I Fear Most
Ever since the day I found out I was pregnant the number one question everyone asked was, "how are you going to prevent him from becoming a teen parent like yourself and his father?" I never knew the right way to answer that so I would just say, "we have a couple more years to figure that out." I would constantly think of ways of how I can prevent my son of being a teen parent, how to talk to him about sex, and when it will even be the right time to talk to him about these things. So much that it would stress me out, and because I felt like I didn't have the answers I felt like I was failing as a mother; in a sense setting my son up for following in my footsteps.
For over 3 years this question has been over my head, stressing me out, and being such a fear of mine. But then I came to the realization that preventing Xavier from being a teen parent is not what scares me the most, him becoming a drug addict, alcoholic, in a gang, in jail, or his life taken away from him too early is my #1 fear and what I should be preventing him from! But yet I have not yet been asked the question of, "how are you going to prevent your son from drug, alcohol, and or violence?" Since when did teen pregnancy become the biggest fear in society and the only thing society cares about preventing –shaming people along the way?
There are TV shows, movies, magazines, billboards, social media photos, games, and so much more all trying to prevent teen pregnancy with shame and stigma. And in no way am I saying teen pregnancy is not an issue, it is a issue that we most definitely need to prevent, but how about the ads on preventing youth on becoming addicted to drugs, alcohol, getting involved in a gang, going to jail, or losing their life too early. Why are their faces not plastered everywhere being shamed like we are? Why is sex on TV, in songs, in movies, in ads, etc… okay as long as you don't get pregnant? And if you do, you're made into a public figure as a mistake? Is it socially acceptable to do drugs, drink excessively, be in and out of jail, and kill people because it's in every new hit song, TV show, and ad; but very few to prevent it? Because as a mother those are the things I fear the most, and those are the things I am going to try my upmost hardest to prevent my son from, ON TOP of preventing him from being a teen father.
Empowering Teens to Educate Peers: An Interview with Shira Cahn-Lipman
Shira Cahn-Lipman, MEd is the Manager of Youth Education at Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts. In that role she provides professional training to adult educators on the Get Real: Comprehensive Sex Education That Works curricula and runs the Get Real Teen Council – a sexual health peer education program for high school students.
1. What is Planned Parenthood's mission for Boston youth and how do your personal experiences intersect with that?
Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts believes all young people deserve access to health care services and medically accurate, age-appropriate, comprehensive sexuality education that empowers them to make healthy decisions. Last year we launched a brand new sexual health peer education program for high school students called the Get Real Teen Council.
The mission of the Get Real Teen Council, which I co-facilitate, is to empower teenagers to educate their peers, families, and communities about human sexuality and healthy decision making and to inspire teens to use their voices to advocate for just and humane sexual attitudes and practices. Through the power of peer education that teaches accurate, unbiased, comprehensive sexuality education, we can work to end ignorance, promote acceptance and improve communication between teens and the important people in their lives.
Prior to my experience co-facilitating the Get Real Teen Council, I was lucky enough to work with thousands of young people as a PPLM educator. This particular experience cemented for me the importance of empowering teens to take ownership of this important material. It is one thing for me, as an educator, to walk into a classroom and talk to students about sexuality and relationships and protection and STIs and decision making. But it's been a far more powerful thing for me to watch students teach those same lessons both inside and outside of the classroom and assume leadership roles within their own communities. That's a powerful moment when they are able to offer factual information to a friend in need or to answer a tough question that a friend was embarrassed to ask anyone else.
2. How does Planned Parenthood work to ensure all young people are equitably served and represented?
Young people can rely on Planned Parenthood for non-judgmental, confidential, affordable health care. We recognize that teens of color and low-income teens are particularly at risk for unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Through our clinical, educational, and advocacy programs, we work to ensure all people have access to the health care and information they need. One of our highest priority goals during recruitment for the Get Real Teen Council was to find a group of tenth through twelfth graders who were not only dedicated to our mission but also represented the racial, socio-economic, ethnic, social, cultural, and socioeconomic diversity of the communities we serve.
3. We often hear that teens are more likely to make safer and well-informed choices if they have strong relationships with their parents. If a young person doesn't have a safe relationship with their parents, what are some alternatives?
We encourage young people to find a variety of trusting, respectful, and caring adults in their lives whom they can turn to for support, advice, and resources. Young people can first think about what makes an adult trustworthy and then brainstorm a list of adults they can go to with questions or concerns about sexuality topics. This may be a relative, teacher, coach, youth group leader, physician, school nurse, school counselor, or another person in their lives. Everyone needs, and deserves, to have an older person in their life they can feel comfortable discussing their feelings and concerns. In addition, Planned Parenthood offers a range of website and hotline phone resources for young people and I suggest you reach out to professionals in various organizations, health services, and support groups for help in negotiating life. For more information go to www.pplm.org or call our counseling and referral hotline: 1-800-258-4448, option 3.
4. What tips would you give young people for talking to their parents about identity, sex, and relationships?
The Get Real Teen Council collaborated with our Manager of Education back in October 2013 (during "Let's Talk" month) to create the following tips for teens who want to talk to a parent or caregiver:
Think about what you want/need. Information? Support with a problem? Do you want to talk to them about decisions you've made or are thinking about? Do you want them to bring you to the clinic? Sometimes writing down ideas can help you prepare.
When and Where? Talk to them when they are relaxed and not in the middle of something important or in a hurry. Some people like to talk face to face and some feel more comfortable when they can be walking side by side or in the car. If this takes a while, don't give up.
Getting started. You might tell them that you'd like to talk and ask if it's a good time. Ask them to let you talk. Remind them that sometimes it is hard to get feelings into words and if they interrupt ask them to wait.
Be prepared to listen to them as well. They might have some good advice for you even if you don't agree with everything they say AND, remember, it is often just as difficult for adults to talk about sex and other challenging topics.
Be honest. Being honest creates trust. Trust can make life happier and be a foundation for healthy relationships and communication.
Allow for mistakes and assume best intentions. Although they may not say the perfect thing, or say what you want them to, or even have an immediate solution – keep talking. No one is perfect so allow for mistakes and try to see where they are coming from and then: keep talking.
5. How can young people get more involved with Planned Parenthood's work in our communities?
We're fighting for change in Massachusetts, but we can't do it without you! The Get Real Teen Council is one way to get involved with our work. More information about the program can be found at www.pplm.org/GRTC. You can also join the Sex Ed Matters campaign to increase access to comprehensive sexuality education in Massachusetts: sign the petition, share your story, or take a photo and share it online. If you want to learn about upcoming events, like walking in the Boston Pride Parade, email ajohnson AT pplm DOT org to learn more.
READ NEXT: Empowering Teens During Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month, an interview with Jasmin Colon and Ciara Mejia on the Planned Parenthood blog.
No Mistaking Mama's Love
Every day is Mama's Day, in a world where children are identifying with a woman showing her love, undying commitment, whose selfless love unconditionally cures the aches and pains associated with a world often hard to understand. This woman is Mama. What is it that makes a Mama so incredible? It's not her age, her socioeconomic status, her marital status or where she lives. What makes a Mama so incredible is that she sees the soul of this amazing human being that has graced her life, knowing that one day her showering of everything short of the moon for her child will yield the most incredible gift of all, one that cannot be written in a card or bought in the form of a bouquet of flowers. This gift is the child who enters our world innocently, and grows with such power and grace to represent their Mama's legacy long after she is gone, bringing their own uniqueness mixed with the grace and timeless character of their Mama.
Young mothers are supremely capable of great love! Their soft malleable hearts, being molded to give so much to that beautiful soul at a young age, setting aside her own innate needs, to provide the nourishment and care this beautiful baby needs. Many times alone, in a world whose common greeting comes with the disappointed shake of a head, a shielded stance to avoid that 'contagion' of teen pregnancy or sometimes the judgmental comment that often times attacks this beautiful Mama's core.
May is recognized nationally as Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month, a message that may come with hurtful, shaming, stigmatizing and desensitizing messaging and imaging using young mamas as a negative example. #NoTeenShame is a movement of 7 mamas across the nation whose journey into Mamahood began young and was accompanied with the harsh anti-teen pregnancy campaigns. 7 mamas who were sometimes alone, shamed by society and filled with disappointment and guilt from the hurtful judgments caste by family, friends, educators, and healthcare professionals. 7 mamas who believe that young families are sacred, deserve respect and should be honored. Mamas who share the belief that young families are working so hard to grow as individuals while completing their education, working to feed and clothe their babies, all while fighting a daily battle of prejudice, shame and painful judgment. Mamas who believe that young families should be treated with dignity when taking their child to the doctor, when bringing their child to daycare, when asking for help from a world who makes it sometimes impossible to parent without support, however continues to humiliate and dehumanize this Mama when she accepts that help.
Mamas representing #NoTeenShame whole heartedly believe that teen pregnancy prevention is possible without the blame, hurt and shame; that teen pregnancy prevention can be accomplished through the sharing of true experiences of teens parents with non-parenting teens in a safe, homogenous environment where their experiences will be respected and valued, and they will be recognized as educators and influential stakeholders in the future of our nation's youth.
#NoTeenShame is a movement led by 7 young mothers, Natasha Vianna, Gloria Malone, Lisette Orellana, Marylouise Kuti-Schubert, Jasmin Colon, Christina Martinez, and Consuela Greene, to improve strategic messaging campaigns and conversation around young parenting to a non-stigmatizing and non-shaming approach, while highlighting the importance of comprehensive sex ed.
A Dark Path of Bad Memories
On February 19, 2014, I was in a bad car accident. I was driving straight through an intersection, on a green for me, while the other person decided to take a left coming from the opposite direction, and smashed into the driver's side and pushed my car so hard it went into a pole. I do not know if I have been so scared in my life, but at the same time, I found myself thanking god that my son was not in the car. I just felt like everything shattered in my world. I did what the doctor said, I took time off work, did physical therapy, took medication, and did not pick up my son. This not being able to work and not doing what I usually do, has led me to start to go back on the path of depression. I felt like doing nothing, sometimes sleeping too much, just not taking care of myself. It made me feel awful to know I was not being the best mother my son deserves. It brought back memories of being depressed back at the end of my high school years and a little after. I became depressed because of underlying issues of adoption, a break up with an ex-boyfriend, whom at that time I loved, but what pushed me over the edge was being raped and dealing with the trial and testifying… Just that dark black path of bad memories and places I just did not want to revisit.
Those feelings and actions, of cutting yourself, sleeping too much, not eating or eating too much, isolation, no motivation, and the worst feeling of all, the feeling of being suicidal, because you feel you are not worthy enough to be in this world and a couple of times getting so close to ending your life. Throughout the many years, I have worked on myself and dug into those issues of being adopted and how I felt different from my peers and friends, the break up and how it affected me, and conquered my feelings of the whole rape case. Through time, being adopted did not bother me. I have been able to speak up about my assault and feel strong to say that I am a survivor, and that feeling of healing is so amazing and empowering. Issues of the break up, I realized there wasn't anything wrong with me, it just was not a good fit in the end and I am glad. I am so happy how my life has turned out and where it is headed. I might not be able to work for a little, but I have an amazing job, I have great friends. I am going to college to eventually become a Dr. I have the best family who are so supportive and amazing, I have a partner who loves me for me and supports me in absolutely everything I do, works his butt off, and we created the most incredible, intelligent, kind hearted, sweet, lovable, etc. I can go on forever, little boy! The most absolute best part and life changing is being a mother. Therefore, in regards to being depressed about the accident, I have picked myself up, decided to not go down that dark path again, and just realized this is just a little bump in my life journey. My family and everybody around me deserve to see a happy and healthy Lauren, but most importantly, my son and I deserve it the most.
My message to anybody who is going through depression is you can heal and be happy again. Work through those issues that are making you feel this way. Whether it be sexual or violence abuse or assault, bad break ups, adoption or foster care issues, the list goes on. If you have children, do it for them, but more importantly, do it for yourself. So, you can be the best person you are meant to be. It is very hard, I will never say it is otherwise, but the reward you get from healing makes everything worth it. People do believe in you, but YOU have to be the first one to believe in yourself. No matter what it is, you can pick yourself up, dust your knees and hands off, walk towards the light at the end of the dark tunnel and achieve whatever you set your mind to in life.
5 Ways the New Policy For Parenting Students in Boston is Awesome
Boston Public Schools has been working with the Massachusetts Alliance on Teen Pregnancy and several supportive organizations across the city on a very comprehensive policy for expectant and parenting students. It's pretty amazing and nostalgic for me as I was brought on as a young mom during a roundtable discussion with Councilor Ayanna Pressley at Boston City Hall in 2010 (here's my recap) and it's been history-in-the-making since!
In 2010, Councilor Ayanna Pressley, Chair of Committee on Women and Healthy Communities, scheduled a meeting with organizations across the city who work with expectant and parenting students, Boston Public Schools, and young mothers to talk about the 1988 version of the policy. In 2010, Councilor Pressley presented the motion to revise the School-Age Parents Policy of the Boston Public Schools and the revision process began in 2013!
I have attended every single meeting and ensured that my voice was and is both being heard and used to entirely change and improve a policy that will impact the lives of young families. My experiences may be unique in some ways and my narrative does not represent an entire community, but my lens can help shape something more appropriate for people like me.
Here are 5 awesome points we cover:
1. Throughout this new policy, "expectant student" is defined as any student, regardless of gender identity, who is either pregnant or is the partner of a pregnant student. This matters to young people who are often misgendered and misidentified.
2. Discrimination and harassment from school staff is highlighted! Yes! School leaders, teachers, and other school staff are held accountable for leading the way in treating all students, including expectant and parenting students, with respect, and recognizing that all students have the potential to succeed, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity, relationship status, or marital status.
3. And just as Title IX mandates, expectant and parenting students who feel their civil rights may have been violated for any reason are encouraged to file a report with the Equity Office. Principals, Superintendents, and staff are all held accountable for violating a young parents' rights.
4. Schools should also be sensitive to new mothers' need to express breastmilk and should work with students to identify a private and sanitary location for this purpose. Because of my experience in high school, this was actually one of my own key policy suggestions. Elevating every young moms' right to pump and giving them the time to pump, space to pump, and support to pump is vital.
5. And of course, all expectant and parenting students have the right to choose how and when they seek services and support from school staff. Staff cannot push their noses into a young parent's business and no one can force a young parent to participate in a program or apply for something they do not want to apply for. Young parents are not forced into any class or program that perpetuates the idea that they are incapable of succeeding without it.
As you can imagine, the policy is both long and comprehensive so there's a ton more that isn't posted in this blog and while it's not in its final state, I am so proud of it already.
Please leave a comment below with your thoughts on this policy or feel free to ask a question. I'll answer them myself!
Not The End
"Not the end—but a new beginning to my world."
Dear Teen Parent,
Becoming a parent at a young age means that you and your baby have found each other a little earlier than expected, but it also means that you will get to love them longer! I guarantee that many have said and will continue to say your life has ended. Do not let this lie become a reality to you. Reality is, your life has just begun. A baby certainly does not take away our, or anyone's future. They give us a new one. As teen parents, it is up to us to show the world the amazing young men, women and parents there can be. Things may be hard but definitely not impossible, even though you may feel it is because of all the stress. Just know it is not the end of the world. It is a new beginning and a blessing. I guarantee you will never love anyone as much as you love your child. And no one is going to love you and look up to you as much as your child will. There's a type of love no one experiences until they have a baby and we are lucky to have experienced it at a young age. Do what you have to do for you and your child. Keep your head up high and do not let anyone tell you you're not a great parent because of your age. Also know that there are people out there who care and live the same struggles, and your child is going to love you no matter what.
Ciara Mejia


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