text:
The New York Times
Arthur and Georgeby Julian Barnes
View All Available Formats & Editions
In the vast expanse of late-Victorian Britain, two boys come to life: George, the son of a Midlands vicar, and Arthur, in shabby genteel Edinburgh, both of them feeling at once near to and impossibly distant from the beating heart of Empire. One falls prey to a series of pranks en route to a legal vocation, while the other studies medicine before discovering a… See more details below
In the vast expanse of late-Victorian Britain, two boys come to life: George, the son of a Midlands vicar, and Arthur, in shabby genteel Edinburgh, both of them feeling at once near to and impossibly distant from the beating heart of Empire. One falls prey to a series of pranks en route to a legal vocation, while the other studies medicine before discovering a different calling entirely, and it is years before their destinies are entwined in a mesmerizing alliance. We follow each through outrageous accusation and unrivaled success, through faith and perseverance and dogged self-recrimination, whether in the dock awaiting complete disgrace or at the height of fame while desperately in love with a woman not his wife, and gradually realize that George is half-Indian and that Arthur becomes the creator of the world's most famous detective. Ranging from London clubs to teeming prisons, from a lost century to the modern age, this novel is a panoramic revelation of things we thought we knew or else had no clue of, as well as a gripping exploration of what goals drive us toward whatever lies in wait - an experience resounding with issues, no less relevant today, of crime and spirituality; of identity and nationality; of what we think, what we believe and what we can prove.
Editorial Reviews
The New York Times
The Washington Post
A New York Times Bestseller
A Globe and Mail Best Book
"It may be Barnes's best novel to date. High praise, I know, but Arthur & George really is that good." The Vancouver Sun
"From the first paragraph," says P.D. James, "we know ourselves to be in the hands of a major novelist and are borne forward by a compelling narrative … This novel is Barnes at his best." The Times (UK)
"An extraordinary novel.... First-rate.... A cracking good yarn.... A real-life mystery." New York Times Book Review
"A brilliant book…. Every line of this novel reveals Barnes's intelligent focus and his meticulous research." Calgary Herald
"A new book by Julian Barnes is something one always anticipates, and his admirers have much to celebrate with Arthur & George, perhaps his best effort yet…. One of the most entertaining novels that I have read in some time…. It will remind the reader of just how compelling a pleasure reading a novel is." Edmonton Journal
"A sublime reading experience.… This is an unforgettable novel." The Vancouver Sun
"A superbly crafted novel, wryly observed, steadily compelling." The Gazette
Product Details
- 9780307263100
- Publisher:
- Knopf Publishing Group
- Publication date:
- 01/10/2006
- Pages:
- 400
- Product dimensions:
- 5.90(w) x 8.40(h) x 1.30(d)
Read an Excerpt
Arthur & George
By Julian Barnes
Random HouseJulian Barnes
All right reserved.
Chapter One
A child wants to see. It always begins like this, and it began like this then. A child wanted to see.
He was able to walk, and could reach up to a door handle. He did this with nothing that could be called a purpose, merely the instinctive tourism of infancy. A door was there to be pushed; he walked in, stopped, looked. There was nobody to observe him; he turned and walked away, carefully shutting the door behind him.
What he saw there became his first memory. A small boy, a room, a bed, closed curtains leaking afternoon light. By the time he came to describe it publicly, sixty years had passed. How many internal retellings had smoothed and adjusted the plain words he finally used? Doubtless it still seemed as clear as on the day itself. The door, the room, the light, the bed, and what was on the bed: a 'white, waxen thing'.
A small boy and a corpse: such encounters would not have been so rare in the Edinburgh of his time. High mortality rates and cramped circumstances made for early learning. The household was Catholic, and the body that of Arthur's grandmother, one Katherine Pack. Perhaps the door had been deliberately left ajar. There might have been a desire to impress upon the child the horror of death; or, more optimistically, to show him that death was nothing to be feared. Grandmother's soul had clearly flown up to Heaven, leaving behind only the sloughed husk of her body. The boy wants to see? Then let the boy see.
An encounter in a curtained room. A small boy and a corpse. A grandchild who, by the acquisition of memory, had just stopped being a thing, and a grandmother who, by losing those attributes the child was developing, had returned to that state. The small boy stared; and over half a century later the adult man was still staring. Quite what a 'thing' amounted to -- or, to put it more exactly, quite what happened when the tremendous change took place, leaving only a 'thing' behind -- was to become of central importance to Arthur.
George does not have a first memory, and by the time anyone suggests that it might be normal to have one, it is too late. He has no recollection obviously preceding all others -- not of being picked up, cuddled, laughed at or chastised. He has an awareness of once having been an only child, and a knowledge that there is now Horace as well, but no primal sense of being disturbingly presented with a brother, no expulsion from paradise. Neither a first sight, nor a first smell: whether of a scented mother or a carbolicy maid-of-all-work.
He is a shy, earnest boy, acute at sensing the expectations of others. At times he feels he is letting his parents down: a dutiful child should remember being cared for from the first. Yet his parents never rebuke him for this inadequacy. And while other children might make good the lack -- might forcibly install a mother's doting face or a father's supporting arm in their memories -- George does not do so. For a start, he lacks imagination. Whether he has never had one, or whether its growth has been stunted by some parental act, is a question for a branch of psychological science which has not yet been devised. George is fully capable of following the inventions of others -- the stories of Noah's Ark, David and Goliath, the Journey of the Magi -- but has little such capacity himself.
He does not feel guilty about this, since his parents do not regard it as a fault in him. When they say that a child in the village has 'too much imagination', it is clearly a term of dispraise. Further up the scale are 'tellers of tall stories' and 'fibbers'; by far the worst is the child who is 'a liar through and through' -- such are to be avoided at all costs. George himself is never urged to speak the truth: this would imply that he needs encouragement. It is simpler than this: he is expected to tell the truth because at the Vicarage no alternative exists.
'I am the way, the truth and the life': he is to hear this many times on his father's lips. The way, the truth and the life. You go on your way through life telling the truth. George knows that this is not exactly what the Bible means, but as he grows up this is how the words sound to him.
For Arthur there was a normal distance between home and church; but each place was filled with presences, with stories and instructions. In the cold stone church where he went once a week to kneel and pray, there was God and Jesus Christ and the Twelve Apostles and the Ten Commandments and the Seven Deadly Sins. Everything was very orderly, always listed and numbered, like the hymns and the prayers and the verses of the Bible.
He understood that what he learned there was the truth; but his imagination preferred the different, parallel version he was taught at home. His mother's stories were also about far distant times, and also designed to teach him the distinction between right and wrong. She would stand at the kitchen range, stirring the porridge, tucking her hair back behind her ears as she did so; and he would wait for the moment when she would tap the stick against the pan, pause, and turn her round, smiling face towards him. Then her grey eyes would hold him, while her voice made a moving curve in the air, swooping up and down, then slowing almost to a halt as she reached the part of the tale he could scarcely endure, the part where exquisite torment or joy awaited not just hero and heroine, but the listener as well.
'And then the knight was held over the pit of writhing snakes, which hissed and spat as their twining lengths ensnared the whitening bones of their previous victims . . .'
'And then the black-hearted villain, with a hideous oath, drew a secret dagger from his boot and advanced towards the defenceless . . .'
'And then the maiden took a pin from her hair and the golden tresses fell from the window, down, down, caressing the castle walls until they almost reached the verdant grass on which he stood . . .'
Arthur was an energetic, headstrong boy who did not easily sit still; but once the Mam raised her porridge stick he was held in a state of silent enchantment -- as if a villain from one of her stories had slipped a secret herb into his food. Knights and their ladies then moved about the tiny kitchen; challenges were issued, quests miraculously fulfilled; armour clanked, chain mail rustled, and honour was always upheld.
Excerpted from Arthur & George by Julian Barnes Excerpted by permission.
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Park Hotel Porto Gaia, Vila Nova de Gaia
- Free WiFi and free parking
Main amenities
- 112 guestrooms
- Breakfast available
- Bar/lounge
- 24-hour front desk
- Coffee/tea in the lobby
- Air conditioning
- Daily housekeeping
- Multilingual staff
- Lobby TV
What's around
- Sandeman Cellars (1.8 mi / 2.9 km)
- Porto Cathedral (2.5 mi / 4 km)
- Cockburn Smithes Cellars (1.2 mi / 2 km)
- Barros Almeida Cellars (1.3 mi / 2 km)
- Ramos Pinto Cellars (1.4 mi / 2.3 km)
The front desk people are the best
Excellent for a night or two to tour Porto. Clean, friendly staff. Not easy to access by…
Enter dates to check prices
Hotel Info: 866-539-8117from $39
- Double Room Single Use
- Double Room
- Family Room
- Standard Twin Room
- Superior Room, 2 Single Beds
Also popular with travelers from the USA
At a glance
Key facts
Hotel size
- This hotel has 112 rooms
- This hotel is arranged over 6 floors
- Check-in time starts at 1 PM
- Check-out time is noon
Required at check in
- Credit card or cash deposit required
- Government-issued photo ID required
- Minimum check-in age is 18
Travelling with others
- No cribs (infant beds)
- Pets not allowed
- Free WiFi in public areas
- Free WiFi and wired Internet access in rooms
- Free self parking
- Accessible parking
Nearby Two Star Vila Nova de Gaia hotels
In the hotel
- Buffet breakfast daily (surcharge)
- Bar/lounge
- Coffee/tea in the lobby
- Golf lessons available nearby
- Golfing nearby
- Hiking/biking trails nearby
- Surfing/boogie boarding nearby
- 24-hour front desk
- Number of buildings/towers - 1
- Year Built 2004
- Elevator/lift
- Designated smoking areas
- Television in lobby
- Disabled parking
- Accessible path of travel
- Accessible bathroom
- In-room accessibility
In the room
- Climate control
- Air conditioning
- Blackout drapes/curtains
- Soundproofed rooms
- Private bathroom
- Shower only
- Free toiletries
- Hair dryer (on request)
- Cable TV channels
- Desk
- Free WiFi
- Phone
- Daily housekeeping
- Connecting/adjoining rooms available
Top Vila Nova de Gaia hotels
Recently reviewed hotels in Vila Nova de Gaia
- NH Collection Porto BatalhaFrom
"Nicely renovated older hotel with friendly staff. But the location is problematic. It's on an old square next to an abandoned art-deco movies, which is now the haunt of many…"Aug 31, 2015
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"Fantastic hotel, great services and beautiful rooms. Would definitely come back!"Aug 29, 2015
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Park Hotel Porto Gaia, Vila Nova de Gaia's small print
Also known as
- Park Hotel Porto
- Park Hotel Porto Gaia
- Park Porto Gaia
- Park Hotel Porto Gaia Portugal/Vila Nova De Gaia
The property has connecting/adjoining rooms, which are subject to availability and can be requested by contacting the property using the number on the booking confirmation.
Only registered guests are allowed in the guestrooms.
Optional extras
Self parking costs EUR 5 per day
Buffet breakfast is offered for an extra charge of EUR 6.50 per person (approximately)
We have included all charges provided to us by this hotel. However, charges can vary, for example, based on length of stay or the room you book.


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Cache In Trash Out | Events | Geocaching.com Souvenirs
That's how many geocachers around the world collected garbage, restored natural areas, and worked on community improvement projects last weekend. If each person picked up one 5 lb bag of trash, that's over 40 metric tons of garbage. That's (approximately) 7.4 elephants, or 7 elephants and two cows. C'mon geocachers–Give yourselves a round of applause! Each of these geocachers earned the CITO 2015 souvenir, which celebrates the thousands of geocachers who care for the geocaching game board—also known as planet Earth. On International Cache In, Trash Out Weekend geocachers around the world hosted and participated in Cache In, Trash Out events in […]
Alex on April 29, 2015, 1:47 pm
Cache In Trash Out | Geocachers Care
There has never been a better day to care for the geocaching game board (our planet!) than today — regardless of whether you live somewhere that celebrates Earth Day. Take a moment to think about the most beautiful place you've ever gone geocaching. Got it? Now consider: will that place continue to exist without the efforts of people who care for it? How can you be one of those people? The answer may depend on the space you thought of and your situation in life. But here are six suggestions to jump-start your contributions this week…and beyond. 1. Sign up for a CITO event […]
Alex on April 22, 2015, 10:00 am
Cache In Trash Out | Geocaching Weekly Newsletter | Groundspeak's Weekly Newsletter
On April 24–27, geocachers around the world will gather at events to clean up natural areas, plant trees or remove invasive species and earn a souvenir. Check out the Event Calendar or the new geocache search for CITOs near you. Make sure to mark your 'Will Attend' to let the event organizers know you're coming. The next weekend, May 2 marks the 15th anniversary of when Geocaching began. Get out and find a geocache—any geocache—and you'll earn a special 15 Years of Geocaching souvenir. Plus, you'll discover your geocaching mission for the summer. Find Geocaches or Events Near You (Hier […]
Eric Schudiske on April 21, 2015, 4:13 pm
Cache In Trash Out | Deutsch | Events | Geocaching Weekly Newsletter | Groundspeak's Weekly Newsletter
In den nächsten zwei Wochen: CITO-Wochenende und 15 Jahre Geocaching Vom 24.-27. April treffen sich Geocacher aus aller Welt bei Events, um die Landschaft zu säubern, Bäume zu pflanzen oder eingewanderte Arten zu entfernen und ein Souvenir zu bekommen. Suche im Eventkalender nach CITO-Events in Deiner Umgebung. Vergiss Dein "Will Attend"-Log nicht, damit die Organisatoren wissen, dass Du kommst. Finde ein CITO-Event in Deiner Nähe Nächstes Wochenende feiert Geocaching am 2. Mai seinen 15. Jahrestag. Geh raus und suche einen Geocache – einen beliebigen Geocache – und Du erhälst das 15 Jahre-Geocaching-Souvenir. Außerdem kannst Du Deine Geocaching-Mission für den Sommer […]
Alex on April 17, 2015, 3:42 pm
Cache In Trash Out | Geocachers Care | Shop Geocaching
Cache In Trash Out®, also known at CITO, is an ongoing environmental initiative supported by the worldwide geocaching community. Since 2002, geocachers around the world have been dedicated to improving parks and other cache-friendly places. Through these volunteer efforts, we help preserve the natural beauty of our outdoor resources. Geocachers around the world celebrate International Cache In Trash Out Weekend annually by hosting and participating in CITO events in their local area. Events might be focused on litter clean-up, removal of invasive species, revegetation efforts or building trails. Together, we make an enormous positive impact. Did we mention that we also […]
Hiding Your First Geocache
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- Northern New York Newspapers
- Watertown
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- Lowville
- Carthage
- Malone
- NNY Business
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Tony Stewart will return to Sprint Cup competition Sunday night at Atlanta Motor Speedway, ending a three-race hiatus after his car struck and killed a fellow driver during a dirt-track race.
The three-time NASCAR champion has not raced since Aug. 9, when he hit Port Leyden native Kevin A. Ward Jr. at a sprint car event in Canandaigua.
Stewart hastily pulled out of the NASCAR race at Watkins Glen the next morning, then skipped races at Michigan and Bristol Motor Speedway.
Stewart, who was described by police as "visibly shaken" the night of Ward's death, has been in seclusion ever since. Stewart-Haas Racing executive vice president Brett Frood has said the emphasis was on giving Stewart time needed to get him "in a better place than he is."
Stewart's only comment since the crash was a statement the day after the crash in which he said "there aren't words to describe the sadness I feel about the accident that took the life of Kevin Ward Jr."
Ward had climbed from his car after it had spun while racing for position with Stewart. The 20-year-old walked down onto the racing surface waving his arms in an apparent attempt to confront Stewart.
Authorities said the first car to pass Ward had to swerve to miss hitting him. The front of Stewart's car then appeared to clear Ward, but Ward was struck by the right rear tire and hurtled through the air. He died of blunt force trauma.
Stewart will return with a decision pending on whether he will be charged in Ward's death. Ontario County Sheriff Philip Povero has said investigators did not have any evidence to support criminal intent by Stewart. Povero said Thursday the investigation is still ongoing.
Meanwhile, the 43-year-old NASCAR superstar will move forward with his career and attempt to salvage his season.
NASCAR released a statement saying that Stewart was eligible to return because he "has received all necessary clearances required to return to all racing activities." NASCAR said it would have no further comment until President Mike Helton speaks Friday afternoon.
Stewart, who has 48 career Cup wins in 542 starts, is one of the biggest stars in the garage. His peers have been protective of him as questions emerged in the aftermath of the crash, and it pained them that Stewart was grieving in private and had cut off communication with so many of them. He will talk to the media for the first time since the fatal crash on Friday.
NASCAR rules state a driver must attempt to either qualify or race the car in every points-paying event to be eligible for Chase for the Sprint Cup championship, unless a waiver is granted. There was no immediate word if NASCAR would grant that waiver.
Since Ward's death, NASCAR has announced a rule that prohibits drivers from exiting from a crashed or disabled vehicle unless it is on fire until safety personnel arrive. Last week, Denny Hamlin crashed while leading at Bristol and stayed in his car until safety personnel arrived.
But Hamlin then exited his vehicle and angrily tossed a safety device at Kevin Harvick as he passed by moments later. He was not penalized.
Thousands of readers like you have made Northern New York Newspapers the number one ranked website* for local news and sports coverage in the north country.
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Coworkers were the main reason you stay here at Darden (my case is Olive Garden). Pay varies from night to night, you could make $200 one Saturday night, then make only $40 the next. Half off of food during your shift is a bonus. Overall friendly, non-competitive work environment between co-workers.
Incompetent management made working here difficult. Over my two year stay at my location, I had 9 different managers.
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The Walgreens parking lot at 4049 Pine Tree where the crew's gear was stolen.
Gobierno de Chile
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Short-term Study Abroad Experiences Growing in Popularity
Jill Russell, LVC's director of study abroad, notes that while LVC still sends a majority of its study-abroad students away for a full semester, in recent years students have increasingly opted for short-term rather than semester-long programs. For some students, the reasons are financial; others aren't interested in being far from home for a whole semester. For others, it's simple logistics: education majors, for instance, can't study abroad for a semester and still graduate on time. For these majors, LVC offers a summer study-abroad program in London. "They take an LVC course with an LVC faculty member where they visit six different schools in England and meet with students and administrators," Russell says. "The whole course is designed as a comparison between the U.S. and English systems." Another program focuses on children's literature by linking explorations of key literary sites in London, such as the Beatrix Potter exhibit and the famous Harry Potter tour, with major works of children's literature. "This program is quite unique," Russell says. "No other schools do it this way."
LVC offers short-term summer study-abroad opportunities in London and Ormskirk, England; Wurzburg, Germany; and Maastricht, in the Netherlands. One of the most popular of LVC's summer programs, the six-credit Maastricht program is led by a member of the College's business faculty and focuses on the European Union (EU). Last summer 13 LVC students, led by Treva Clark, assistant professor of business administration, took courses on the EU and intercultural communications; toured the headquarters of businesses based in Germany, the Netherlands, and Belgium; and visited the EU Parliament buildings in Brussels.
"I saw an awakening in those students, almost from the first week that they were there," Clark says. "There was a curiosity there. These students saw that Europeans do a lot of the same things that we do, but they do them differently, and the students pushed themselves to understand how things are different, and why.
"I was so impressed by their willingness to try new things," she adds. "There were a number of students on the trip this year who had never been out of the U.S., had never been on a plane or even a train before. But one weekend that we were there, every single student was in a country outside of the Netherlands—they'd traveled to Switzerland, England, Germany, and other places. I was so proud of them for negotiating that kind of movement. It was fun to see them stretching like that."
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Take charge of your health!
Dr. Bency Kurian
Accepting New Patients
Electronic Health Records
Dr. Kurian's Background
Bency Kurian, MD practices Internal Medicine in Downers Grove, IL. Dr. Kurian graduated from Creighton University School of Medicine in 2005 and has been in practice for 8 years. Dr. Kurian accepts multiple insurance plans including HealthLink, Coventry Health Care and Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois. Dr. Kurian is board certified in Internal Medicine. In addition to English, Dr. Kurian's practice supports this language: Spanish.
- 2005
- Medical School
- Creighton University School of Medicine
- Omaha, NE


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1996 Advocate Twesigye Jackson Kaguri has been named a CNN Hero for supporting thousands of women in Uganda who are raising grandchildren orphaned by AIDS. Photo by Alan Orling.
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ISHR is proud to announce the 2013 AHDA Conference December 5 - 7, 2013.
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Thought this was amazing
Mommy to Nevaeh Layliane 10/21/07 , Allyanna Rose 9/27/11, and baby girl #3 is due 4/4/13.
I saw that a while back on pinterest and it is amazing but I can not lie, just seeing it that way makes me a tad bit worried about going natural lol
Do not try to add me on any social network sites. I WON'T ADD YOU AND I WILL BLOCK YOU BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW YOU! - Thanks
"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you." -Dr. Seuss
If I remember correctly we have a hormone that is released after birth to help us 'forget' the pain, and just the fact we are on a complete high for our new baby helps too! Not all births are the same, so some might not get to that high of pain units.
This is pretty cool, I couldn't imagine breaking 20 bones though! Makes me cringe.
Boy 3/09, Identical Twin Girls Stillborn 9/11, MC 5/12, Rainbows: Boy 3/13, Girl 9/14
You do really forget about it all.
WAHM to Jocelyn (10/08) Keegan (10/10) & Hudson Edward (3/25/13)
lol I remember the whole time I was in labor with my last I just kept saying
"Why on earth did I want to do this again, Im never doing this again" !!! lol
the nurses kept laughing saying when its all over you will forget all about it! Its very true!
Mommy to Nevaeh Layliane 10/21/07 , Allyanna Rose 9/27/11, and baby girl #3 is due 4/4/13.
That forgetful hormone is amazing lmao! I know my natural birth was VERY painful but I can't even remember the pain! Guess that's why I am crazy and doing it again! :P
I read this out to my DF because he has no idea what it will be like, but I have tried to describe, and he says "How in the Hell did you have baby fever after going through that?"
Mom to 3 little girls 5 and 3, and littlest born 4/6


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Orange Coast Cultural Connection Message Board › What To Bring With You Tonight ?
|Dr. Janet W.
user 6814036
Irvine, CA
Thank you for investing in your Future !!
The evening will start of with a fun game know as
'the Business Card Shuffle" Be sure to bring at least 100 Business Cards.
Our Host 'Beth" will be providing and elegant spread of Cheese, Fruit, and Dessert.
Our guest Speaker Greg S. Reid will also be doing a book signing!!
Nancy Ramos for Silver Eye Photography will be taking Pictures
and Elsa Bugarini of UR Digital Media will be share the event via Social Media
How Does it get better than this ?
Prizes Totaling $1,000 !
Be Golden,
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The Big Bang Theory Quotes
Leonard: You know, if you're not gonna learn how to do this, they make some pretty good clip-ons.
Sheldon: Bruce Wayne doesn't wear a clip-on. Bruce Wayne doesn't make his roommate tie it for him.
Leonard: His name is Alfred, and, yes, he does.
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
Ever since I saw Pretty in Pink, I've wanted to go to an American prom. But then I saw Carrie, and I did not want to go to an American prom. But then I saw Never Been Kissed, and I'm back on the prom bandwagon. This prom thing's been a real roller coaster.Raj
Penny: Prom is silly anyways.
Bernadette: Easy for you to say; you probably went with the captain of the football team.
Penny: No. I just made out with him a little while his date was puking.
Penny: That, believe it or not, is my prom dress.
Bernadette: Wow, you still have it? I just assumed it was balled up in the corner of a barn somewhere.
Penny: What kind of teenager did you think I was?
Bernadette: Slutty.
Amy: Easy.
Penny: The word is "popular."
Howard: They're not dating. They're just two friends who went out to dinner.
Raj: And then went back to the home they share where they probably fell asleep in the matching pajamas she got them because they both just love penguins.
Howard: Hey, lots of people wear matching pajamas who aren't dating.
Raj: Like who?
Howard: Like you and your dog.
Leonard: Don't rule out the dating.
Leonard: Oh, hey, we ran into your mom at Benihana last night.
Howard: Uh, yeah, she loves that place. Every time they flip a shrimp in the air, she practically leaps out of her seat to catch it. That's why I don't take her to SeaWorld.
Penny: You locked them in your basement?!
Dr. Lorvis: Well, they're, they're not locked in. The door just sticks.
Penny: Okay, so how do they unstick it?
Dr. Lorvis: They'd need the key.
Raj: You think he bites?
Howard: Stick your hand in there and find out.
Raj: You fooled me with that goat at the petting zoo. You will not fool me again.
Penny: The real question is: What is he doing in your apartment?
Leonard: Oh, he was upset. So Sheldon invited him in for a hot beverage.
Penny: You were okay with that?
Leonard: No. I got upset! And Sheldon made me a hot beverage, too.
Amy: As a female scientist, I think what you do affects all of us.
Bernadette: And I think you don't like people expressing their sexuality because no one wants you to express yours.
Amy: I simply pointed out that they would never consider doing an article ranking male scientists on their sexuality, let alone showing them in various stages of undress.
Bernadette: Because no one wants to see Neil deGrasse Tyson in a wet T-shirt bent over the hood of a Porsche.