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Who wants to share their story of a nightmare vacation?
Several months ago @jnissel asked a similar question (http://preview.tinyurl.com/d5y3cof). I hate to be redundant, but I am stuck here and I NEED some Woot sympathy!
DH is an obsessive planner when it comes to vacations. Years ago I learned to sit back, smile and let him do the work of putting it all together. This was supposed to be a quick, relaxing 5 days at the beach with our two (young adult) kids, DD's fiance, and MIL. Key word=RELAX.
At 9:00 on our first night, DH (who never gets sick) started having chills. Fever over 101.. Dr. at 24/7 urgent care clinic diagnosed sinus infection, gave him a shot, prescriptions, etc. Today is day 3. Fever even higher (Dr. says it "takes time"). DD and her fiance are fighting, DS is glued to TV, I am cooking and cleaning, MIL is making snarky comments about everyone, but doing so VERY politely so I can't snark back at her with becoming the bad guy. Meanwhile, DH pushes us to do what HE planned, but I'm too busy taking care of everyone.
31 Answers answer
When I was younger, my family took a vacation to Virginia Beach in October. I got stung by a jellyfish, and I'm apparently highly allergic. I had to go to the hospital, and then was sent back to the hotel and told not to leave for a few extra days. My family loved the 'extended vacation', I however was bedridden. I still refuse to swim in any ocean I fear there may be jellyfish in....including Myrtle Beach, where I saw several dead ones on the shore. It's a shame, because even in October, I love swimming in the ocean.
I should add that MIL is widowed and in pretty good health, but has always been a non-stop talker. In my family it is the worst possible offense to interrupt someone when they are speaking, but among my in-laws, he who speaks the loudest and the most is the winner. We get along wonderfully most days, but she talks over me constantly. I even bought a t-shirt that says "Excuse me. I didn't hear you. I was still talking." but she doesn't realize that it's about HER!
Since we have been here she has made nasty little comments about:
1.) DS needs a shower - 20+ comments within a couple of hours. He had taken a shower! I even sniffed him! She just giggled and repeated her comments several times.
2.) DS/fiance arguing- This was the first evening. NBD. The next day MIL asked fiance to help with an email problem and he discovered that she had sent an email to numerous folks describing the "altercation."
3.) Every flipflop on the floor is a personal insult to her so my time is spent cleaning!
Sorry to hear about your vacation, that really sucks. I went to the OBX a couple weeks ago with family (8 adults, 2 kids) and on our way my car started overheating, so we had to turn around and bring it home (it had a leak and it was Sunday - my car is less than 3 yrs old, I was SO mad) and we had to switch vehicles. So we didn't get there until 9:30pm when we should have been there by 4:30pm. Then the next morning my Mom wakes up with what sounds like your DH has. Hers lasted 4 full days, she didn't leave the house until Friday. We get up Sunday to come home and yes, I wake up with the same thing. At least we didn't have any of the drama that you are being tortured with, so hang in there!! I really hope it gets better!!
Well, no illness on our worst trip, but we had a flat tire on our pop-up camper on the trip over, then discovered that the power didn't work at our campsite after getting the darn thing set up at the camp ground. We figured we could rough it for one night so we went ahead and drove over to visit with my brother and his family until quite late, then returned to crawl into our beds in the dark. Within a few minutes my daughter started screaming hysterically. After a mad dash for working flashlights we found that her bunk was filled with thousands and thousands of ants! We had set up the camper right on an ant bed!
It was far too late to move, we couldn't get rid of the ants, that were spreading throughout the camper, daughter was covered in bites, so we drug ourselves back to my brother's rented condo and woke them all up in the wee hours so we could sleep on their floor for the night.
Miserable trip, especially for my little girl!
@belyndag: Have you considered telling her (in a hushed tone) - "I don't know if you know this, but you packed your bad attitude, instead of your good attitude, maybe you can go pick up a good one?" - or something along those lines. :)
And to answer your question, my parents packed a 15yr old me & 8yr old twins in a camper. Then went from southern CA to MO, and stopped at damn near every small town on the way there and back. The truck broke down in NM, and we were stuck there, in that damned camper, for 2 days in the middle of summer. Then, once we finally got home, everyone went inside, we locked the camper... except my 8yr old sister had fallen asleep - and got locked in the camper for a while (not abusively long)... she hates that vacation too.
@thumperchick: LOL! I would be happy to tell her that if I could ONLY GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE!!!!
Sorry to hear that your "RELAXING" vacation has been anything but.
I don't claim medical expertise, but I'm surprised that your DH has not improved after 3 days of treatment. I once had a really bad sinus infection (hallucinating and completely lost my sense of balance before I was finally diagnosed), but it began to turn around almost immediately when I started on antibiotics. Are DH's sinuses draining yet? (Gross, I know.) Consider picking up a neti pot; chain drugstores will have a plastic version, which work fine and may get things moving. Also, is there a medical practitioner you can call back home for advice if you need to?
Good luck. I hope this whole episode becomes a funny story you can laugh about in years to come: "Remember that time grandma was broadcasting our quarrels to the entire planet?!"
I have a few pretty good stories. Thinking back now they don't seem too bad, but at the time they were pretty traumatic.
First one was when I was about 15. It was shortly after my grandma was moved into a nursing home and her house was still being cleaned out and her stuff taken care of. My Mom had been making trips as often as she could and rotating the kid she took with her. Not so much a vacation but still a big trip and as a kid it's pretty much the same. My turn happened to be during xmas break. I don't know if you've ever been to Nebraska in the middle of winter, but I would definitely recommend against it. We flew out xmas day to get a cheaper flight. In general I don't travel very well, and to top things off I was fighting off a bit of a cold. The flight went ok, but I'd learned not to eat before flying so was starved by the time we landed. Still being xmas but by now around 10pm nothing was open at all.
After searching for an hour finally found a24hr walgreens and got a delightful dinner of hotdogs and ricearoni.About 2hrs later we had to return to walgreens for water after finding out I was unable to stumic the highly clorinated tap water.By the next morning I had developed a severe ear infection, since it was the day after xmas and in an unfamiliar town it was near impossible to find a doctor. Ultimately I ended up having to go to the emergancy room for treatment.(The only time I've ever been to the hospital)They gave me antiboitics and some strong painkillers.I spent the rest of the trip, and the few remaining days of break after returning home misrible and drugged up.
The second good horrible vacation stroy was a few year after that on a camping trip. To start things off right we crammed 6people and all the camping gear into a 5seater car and drove about 3hrs to the lake.Once we got there the camp grounds we were planing to stay at were compleatly full and too late to turn back
so we picked a random logging road and found a place that was good enough and looked like it had been used as a campsite before. We couldn't have a campfire but at least we had a camp stove so dinner was hot.By the time we had the tents set up it was getting dark, it was a warm clear night so we decided that the rain flies werent necessary.And I bet you called it, in the middle of the night it starts to rain.But not just a sprinkle, full on pouring rain, within minutes there is water pooling in the bottom of the tents. Apparently boys can sleep through anything, including being completely drenched. It was up to 2 of us, with some small help from one other still sleepy/disoriented person with a flashlight, to get the rain flies on in comlete dark.
We made it through the night, got a real campsite the next day, got everything dried out and remained dry the 2 other nights we stayed. The trip recovered pretty well after the initial terribleness, maybe there's still hope for your trip too!
This one time, at band camp, I was in the cabin next door to a girl who played the flute. Couldn't sleep a wink all week.
@belyndag: Well, it is what you make it sometimes. How did YOUR vacation become THEIR vacation, unless YOU let it happen? Hate to make it sound this way, and of course this doesn't factor in the illness, but this much is a fact: People will only do to you what YOU let them do.
Now, stop doing things that don't involve the sick, and the world will likely keep moving.
@ginawoot: Thanks for the feedback on DH and his illness. I'm afraid a neti pot won't do much good as he isn't really congested (strange, I know). Last night he finally perked up enough to move out of the bedroom and actually walked out to the beach with us so things are finally looking up. Of course, today is our last full day here so he's not getting much out of this trip.
Slightly off-topic, my personal preference for dealing with congestion is Sudacare Shower Soothers. Significantly less gross than a neti pot, and definitely soothing once you get past the smell.
@havocsback: Good point! As you can see, I have now moved on to doing my Wooting! It's what I WANT TO DO!!!!! They can fend for themselves!
(Of course, I got up before dawn in order to do this, so we'll see how my newfound resolution holds up once everyone is clamoring for my help.)
Now, however, I have discovered a NEW problem! First of all, I have to admit that, despite any rumors to the contrary, I am not cool. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I grew up in a teetotal household and, although I drink now, I still feel a bit guilty even doing that. When I got up in the wee hours today I knocked over future SIL's backpack and out came several containers of, well, it ain't parsley. Now, do I ignore this (and the pipe and some other things I don't recognize - I told you I'm not cool!), or do I sit him and DD down quietly and tell them how angry I am that they brought this stuff to MY vacation, etc.? Argh!!!!! (redux)
That was NOT cool of them! I would talk to daughter after a day or so, tell her what you found~and explain you do not want these things anywhere around you. Could that have been why they were fighting? Maybe she thouhgt it was stupid of him to bring the stuff.
@belyndag: Maybe the whole crew should toke up and break out whatever there is to drink, might mellow everyone out. Of course I'm not serious, sort of.
Sorry to hear about your not so relaxing vacation, I have a family member that snarks on people like that. I don't know if she realizes what she is doing or not, but it's no fun when people are politely (or not) insulting each other. Good luck.
@gigi889: I suspect daughter is probably, um, partaking as well. Maybe not, but she is entranced with this young man (for some reason I cannot fathom) so who knows. What is REALLY pi**ing me off is that he is currently out of work (long story) and neither of them seem to have any money. We sponsored this trip and DH even gave them spending money while they're here. But he has money to spend on THIS and on the various equipment, as well? Double argh!
If MIL were not with us I would drag his sorry a** out of bed right now and do some serious chewing. Bu knowing that anything we do will be broadcast is making me grit my teeth for now.
@xdavex: LOL! I wonder what everyone would think if they find me toking on the balcony when they finally haul themselves out of bed!
Well, my limited experience with this stuff showed me that it just makes me paranoid so there is no reason to do that and add to this lovely little trip.
I woke up DH and told him and he thinks we should keep quiet until we all get home. He's probably right, especially since MIL would hear anything we discuss (as I noted above).
Another note about MIL, she has been nothing but pleasant and I love her dearly, it's just the way she comments on everything. "Your kids didn't pick up behind themselves, but I guess that's not unusual. Teehee." "Your son needs a shower. Is he sitting on MY bed? When did he last have a shower? He needs a shower....." (He had just HAD a shower and smelled just fine, btw.) Same comments about everyone else, always followed by "teehee." Then she holds forth about two other family members who just blab to everyone about everything. DH and I look at each other and grit our teeth. We consider her the town cryer! When we were buying our current house, we got calls from his siblings in other states congratulating us before the ink was dry. MIL had driven by the new house, took pictures and sent them to everyone before we even had a chance to mention it.
I just need to switch to decaff to get through this trip.
(warning this is long. the vacation was good, but the travelling to and back was horrid)
Several years ago my wife and I flew to the Mexican Riviera to meet up with some family for vacation. Our flight route down was home->Chicago(O'Hare)->Mexico City->Ixtapa, Mexico. Flight back was Ixtapa->Houston->Newark->home. This was February.
We were supposed to get the first flight of the morning from our home airport to Chicago, something like 7:30 or 8am. We were finishing our packing the night before, and the phone rang at midnight. Automated call from the airline telling us our flight was cancelled that morning. I had to call the airline back to talk to a customer service person to reschedule. I spent 2 hours on the phone before we eventually managed to re-book everything 24 hours out. Thankfully the hotel was underbooked and didn't mind changing our room reservation out 24 hours as well.
Following morning we make it to O'Hare OK. Unfortunately we have no pilot (cont'd)
@lparsons42: (cont'd) No pilot to fly us to Mexico City. Pilot is apparently delayed coming in from Washington DC. We wait in the O'Hare terminal for an hour or more until pilot arrives. Flight to Mexico City is uneventful but very late; our flight to Ixtapa had already left before we were on the ground and it was the last of the night (and of course we hadn't made it through customs yet at at that point).
Airline admitted fault and put us up in the hotel attached to the airport for the night. They also paid for dinner that night and breakfast the following morning, and put us on the first flight that morning to Ixtapa. Nonetheless we were effectively 36 hours late compared to our original schedule.
It didn't get much better on the way back, either. Our flight to Houston was OK but we got there and were informed Newark was in a full ground stop due to weather, so we couldn't leave Houston. We milled around the terminal for a couple hours waiting for OK to board (cont'd)
@lparsons42: (cont'd) when we landed in Newark our flight home - last of the night - had already left (well, it was supposed to have left. it was actually cancelled). Found that out while sitting on the tarmac in Newark where we were delayed further waiting for a gate. Airline was, at least, nice enough to open the bathrooms on the plane for us and come through with water service while waiting for a gate.
We got in to the terminal and were told to come back in the morning, they would fly us home on the first flight in the morning. We found a cheap hotel with free shuttle service (national chain, don't remember the name) and stayed there. Hotel was a nightmare; front desk guy who also drove the shuttle was on drugs and thought everything that was wrong (like the door to our room that didn't work right, or the broken alarm clock, or the lamp in the room that had to be plugged in / unplugged to turn on/off, or the overfull shuttle) was hilarious. He drove like a maniac (cont'd)
@lparsons42: (cont'd) went back to the airport the following morning and found our morning flight had been cancelled as well. Airline said they might not fly to our home airport at all that day due to the airline backlog from the previous day's ground stop. Best they could do was fly us to an airport ~2 hours away by car, and we had 15 minutes to get to that flight. We took that opportunity and ran like crazy through the airport to catch that flight. Took a one-way rental car from that airport to get back to our airport and our car. Our luggage came in another day or so later.
Did learn one useful thing on the return, though. We could fly to the other airport because that flight was on a turboprop. Props can take off in a cross-wind, jets cannot - flight to home airport was only available by small regional jet. All the jet traffic had to queue for the two main parallel runways, the props could use the alternate.
@belyndag: The next time she interrupts, lean over & gently place your index finger over her lips with an "Excuse me, but MY lips were still moving so I'm going to help you keep yours still until mine are finished." She will be shocked that you've dared to do this. You can also say "interrupting people while they're still speaking is a bad habit. Don't you agree?" Every time she interrupts, raise your index finger & look at her say "I'm not finished with my sentence, wait your turn. Remember The Finger!"
When she makes her other comments, say "...and your point is?" Let it hang in the air. Look at her directly & MAKE HER UNCOMFORTABLE. You'll have to do this constantly, but she'll get the point.
Slacker Pot Head Dude is a first class tool. Cool has nothing to do with his being being a self important ass. IF DD is partaking or encouraging it, shame on her for not having more respect for her family. This is a glimpse of the future :( It won't get better if you don't make a fist.
@belyndag: 'Cool' is subjective, 'all of us being questioned or going to jail till thy get it all sorted out' is much more cut & dried.
My house, my rules: no weed. It's not a matter of cool, it's a matter of integrity.
Do the right thing. I may not be popular, but nobody questions where I stand. If weed was legal, no problem, but it's not.
@havocsback: I'm the same way. My husband doesn't have a problem with it, but respects my views. His daughter does too. Her house she has her own rules, but my house my rules. And certainly not on a family vacation in unknown locations. That is completely unacceptable. I wouldn't invite them back.
I can't top your story. Good luck, and I would have a long talk with DD soon. It sounds like rocky roads ahead. JM2C :)
@lavikinga: LOL! I should probably try that. Now that I am calmer I should explain that I truly love this lady and she is generally a very kind person. She's done remarkably well despite being going through some terrible years, and has always been there for us when we need her. I guess we all have foibles we don't see. Her tendancy to interrupt and overtalk are family legend, and I suspect that there is a diagnosis just waiting to happen. The snarky criticisms seem new to me, or at least more pronounced. Earlier today she asked, "If Tommy is really losing weight, why did he eat two orders of fries?" I kept calm and answered, "Because he cut down from eating four orders."
At some point I really need to just sit her down and explain about the interrupting, as kindly as I can. I think I could stand the critical comments (which I suppose comes with being a MIL) if it weren't for my nerves being frayed by never being allowed to finish a sentence.
To everyone who responded on the issue of the, er, substance found in DD's fiance's backpack, I thank you all for letting me know that it's ok to NOT be cool with this.
After I posted my rant this morning, DH and I talked about it and I agreed to let him handle it for now. He took the bag into DDF's room, woke him up, and told him to take it to his car and NEVER bring that stuff around our family again. He also told him we would talk more about it later. DDF took the bag and was gone for a while. DH found him sitting in his car crying. They had a long talk. All is not forgiven and this isn't over, but we know this young man's family history and his current efforts to seek help, so we think we can work with him on this. He has tried to apologize to me several times and I just nod and tell him we will talk after vacation. I am preparing the things I need to say and planning to use this opportunity to deal with several issues. DD knows about everything and will get a talk, too.
For an interrupting MIL, find a time when you can tell the interrupting cow knock knock joke (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyAniSKkAiE). Then whenever she interrupts just say "moo" very softly and continue your sentence.


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Suit filed against site operator
October 31, 2012
STEUBENVILLE — The family of a Steubenville High School student has filed a lawsuit in Jefferson County Common Pleas Court against the the operator of an Internet blog site claiming their son has......
I think it's ironic that the Saltman Family has the gall to suggest the following in their lawsuit. "The making of such false, defamatory and libelous statements by defendants was so outrageous in character and so extreme in degree as to go beyond all possible bounds of decency, and to be regarded as atrocious and utterly intolerable in a civilized community," the lawsuit states. Would they agree that what happened to the 16 year old victim and their son's callous tweets afterward go "beyond all possible bounds of decency"? Shame on you...perhaps this might give you an inkling as to what Cody's former girlfriend felt as his friends 'allegedly' raped her and put her on display. Cody states he didn't feel sympathy.
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subset: commoncrawl


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RN-to-Bachelor of Science in Nursing (RN-BSN)
Chatham's online RN-BSN degree is based on a strong liberal arts and science foundation preparing nursing students with the knowledge, skills, and attitude to perform creatively, ethically, and effectively. This nursing program is focused on developing leadership and management skills and increasing the career mobility of the registered nurse. It also provides students a gateway for furthering their educations.
The RN-BSN, MSN, and DNP programs at Chatham University are accredited by the Commission on Collegiate Nursing Education, One Dupont Circle, NW, Suite 530, Washington DC 20036, (202) 887-6791.
RN-BSN Program Structure (120 Credits)
The RN-BSN program is taught in an accelerated online distance learning format. To successfully complete the RN-BSN program, students are required to complete 120 credit hours in college level courses. Students must maintain a cumulative 2.0 or better to be awarded the Bachelor of Science in Nursing (BSN).
Chatham University accepts a maximum of 90 transfer credits in the RN-BSN program, meaning that many of our students will be able to complete their degree by earning only 30 credits at Chatham. Students from select RN Nursing Schools who graduated prior to December 2015 will qualify for the accelerated option, meaning that they may transfer even more than 90 credits into the program. All newly admitted students will receive an official transfer evaluation to determine their path to degree completion.
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General Education/Liberal Arts Electives
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12 Days of Fun (and Cheap!) Christmas Activities for Families
5 of 13
Make Popcorn and Cranberry Garlands
Have some leftover popcorn from your movie night? Upcycle it! Make some homemade garlands for your family's Christmas tree, doorways, or mantle. All you need is a needle and some thread or fishing line. Try using fresh cranberries, too. Younger kids can count out the berries or popcorn to make a cool alternating pattern, and parents or older kids can do the threading.
Next: Play in the Snow


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WEIRTON - Property and liability coverage will cost the city more in 2013.
Council's finance committee on Thursday recommended approval of the contract with Traveler's, which will cost the city $685,966.
While the premium is higher than the roughly $612,000 the city paid last year, Assure America representative John Frankovitch told the committee the board of risk management's proposal was around $877,000 and carried lesser limits.
Article Photos
TALKING FINANCES — Finance Director Tom Maher, from left, Ward 5 Councilman George Gaughenbach and Ward 3 Councilman Fred Marsh reviewed paperwork at Thursday's finance committee meeting. - Linda Harris
Frankovitch said Traveler's "still likes Weirton," and pointed out the company had denied coverage to other communities and actually dropped a few as well.
Committee members also recommended council approve resolutions authorizing the city to provide the local match for transportation enhancement program funding for the 2012 Panhandle Rail Trail Extension project.
Members also recommended council approve resolutions to use funding from the Governor's Community Participation Program to purchase tasers for the police department as well as for various projects sponsored by the Weirton Area Chamber of Commerce; Weirton Area Museum & Cultural Center; Weirton Baseball Association; and Weirton Elks Lodge 1801.
Members also approved resolutions to purchase duty holsters, triple magazine cases and mounted tactical lights for city police and portable radios for city firefighters.
Council's monthly meeting is set for 7:30 p.m. Monday in the City Building.


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Brain & Nervous System Health Center
Brain Swelling
In this article
What Are the Symptoms of Brain Swelling?
Symptoms of brain swelling vary, depending on the severity and the cause. Usually they begin suddenly. You may notice any of these symptoms:
- Headache
- Neck pain or stiffness
- Nausea or vomiting
- Dizziness
- Irregular breathing
- Vision loss or changes
- Memory loss
- Inability to walk
- Difficulty speaking
- Stupor
- Seizures
- Loss of consciousness
How Is Brain Swelling Diagnosed?
The steps used by your doctor to diagnose brain swelling depend on the symptoms and the suspected cause. Common exams and tests used in the diagnosis include:
- Head and neck exam
- Neurologic exam
- CT scan of the head to identify the extent and location of the swelling
- MRI of the head to identify the extent and location of the swelling
- Blood tests to check for causes of the swelling
What Is the Treatment for Brain Swelling?
Minor cases of brain swelling due to causes such as moderate altitude sickness or a slight concussion often resolve within a few days. In most cases, however, more treatment is needed quickly.
The goal is to assure that the brain receives enough blood and oxygen to remain healthy while the swelling is relieved and any underlying causes are treated. This may require a combination of medical and surgical treatments. Prompt treatment usually results in quicker and more complete recovery. Without it, some damage may remain.
Treatment for brain edema may include any combination of the following:
- Oxygen therapy: Providing oxygen through a respirator or other means helps make sure that the blood has enough oxygen in it. The doctor can adjust the respirator to help reduce the amount of swelling.
- IV fluids: Giving fluids and medicine through an IV can keep blood pressure from dropping too low. This helps to make sure that the body -- including the brain -- is receiving enough blood. However, some fluids can make swelling worse. Doctors attempt to use the right amounts of the right fluids in someone with brain swelling.
- Lowering body temperature (hypothermia): Lowering the temperature of the body and brain helps relieve swelling and allows the brain to heal. Hypothermia as a treatment for brain swelling is not widely used because it is difficult to perform correctly.
- Medication: In some cases of brain edema, your doctor may start a drug to help relieve the swelling. Medication may also be given for other reasons, such as to slow your body's response to the swelling or to dissolve any clots. The drugs your doctor gives you depend on the cause and symptoms of brain swelling.
- Ventriculostomy: In this procedure, a surgeon cuts a small hole in the skull and inserts a plastic drain tube. Cerebrospinal fluid is drained from inside the brain, helping to relieve the pressure.
Surgery: Surgery may have one or more of these goals:
- Removing part of the skull to relieve intracranial pressure; this procedure is called decompressive craniectomy.
- Removing or repairing the source of the swelling, such as repairing a damaged artery or vein or removing a growth


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6 Ridiculous History Myths (You Probably Think Are True)
#3. America Goes Crazy Over War of the Worlds
The Insanity:
Oh, how gullible we used to be.
In 1938, Orson Welles' radio production of the H.G. Wells novel War of the Worlds played out as a massive prank on the nation, reporting a Martian invasion as if it were real. The broadcast plunged millions of Americans into mass hysteria, as frightened listeners overloaded phone lines, fled cities, rushed to warn their loved ones, rioted and even attempted suicide for fear of the alien attack.
Life Magazine even ran a photo of a farmer defending his land against the Martians, shotgun in hand:
Newspapers happily jumped on reporting the panic in the days and weeks afterward, and even Adolf Hitler commented on the supposed hysteria. Something to the effect of, "An army of futuristic war machines trying to take over the planet?! Ha! You people are crazy to think such a thing could happen. If it did, you'd damn well know about it."
But in Reality...
That photo up there, of the farmer with the shotgun? Life Magazine just had the guy pose for it. Most of the War of the Worlds freak-out was exactly as fake as that photo.
There's no doubt that some people thought the broadcast was real. Radio was still new and a fake news broadcast had literally never been done before. But virtually all of them reacted in exactly the way you would have: flipped to another station, or called somebody to ask what was going on.
Reports of people immediately flying into a panic--attempting suicide, hallucinating alien death rays or fleeing to the countryside with guns in hand--were almost all anecdotal stories told second hand with no names attached. And although the phone lines to the studio were unusually busy that night, mixed in with the people asking for information, were people praising or complaining about a show that seemed like it was clearly designed to create a mass panic.
"This broadcast is terrible!"
"Wait till you see the movie!"
There were also the people who tuned in late, and only caught the part about an "invasion" and "poison gas" (the Martians' main weapon) and assumed they were hearing reports of the Nazis invading, which wasn't ridiculous at all in 1938.
It's true that a few people probably actually did stupid shit, but keep in mind there were six million listeners that night. In any group of six million people, you'll find a certain number of them doing stupid things anyway, probably because they're stoned.
Why Do We Believe It?
You know how they keep trying to tie terrible crimes or trends to the Internet? Some teenager dies due to "cyber bullying" or gets jailed due to "sexting" or somebody loses everything on a Craigslist scam, and the story somehow implies it's the technology that's making people evil?
It happens all the time.
Radio was the scary new technology once. The old media at the time (newspapers) was eager to jump on anything that made the new media seem dangerous and irresponsible.
Of course, the story stuck after that because it gives us the chance to do the thing we love doing most: look down on people. They fell for it, we didn't, therefore we're smarter than our grandparents. We're the enlightened generation, and don't believe in stupid bullshit. Oh, on an unrelated note, here's a website about how Lady GaGa is a puppet of the New World Order.
#2. "No Irish Need Apply"
The Insanity:
You've seen "HELP WANTED - NO IRISH NEED APPLY" signs in movies set in the late 1800s or early 1900s, and you can still buy them at memorabilia stores:
Stick one in your window! Let us know what happens.
But you can see from the sign that it was hell being an Irish immigrant to America back those days. You'd prepare diligently for your job interview at the whisky-and-potatoes factory, put on your best, uh, leprechaun hat, only to get to the factory and see the terrible sign posted in the window.
Shocked, you'd turn around, only to see yet another sign in the window of the building opposite. Dejected and still unemployed, you would trudge home to cry into your Guinness, before sobbing through another round of Irish stepdancing.
But in Reality...
There is no record of even one of the so-called "NINA" window signs ever existing in America. No photographs have ever been found, and any evidence for them is entirely anecdotal.
Even in print notices for jobs, records from the New York Times at the height of anti-Irish discrimination (from the 1850s to the 1920s), show exactly two jobs using the phrase in a 70-year period. That's probably less than the number of jobs that specified that the applicant must bring his own trained monkey.
The myth of the window signs became widespread when a song, aptly named "No Irish Need Apply," was imported to the U.S. from the UK in the 1860's. The lyrics told the tale of a young Irish woman looking for domestic work and being discouraged by the "No Irish Need Apply" warnings in print ads, even though, she says, the Irish would gladly "given their last potato" to a person in need.
There was also an American version of the song, where the woman is replaced by a man, who simply beats the shit out of the business owner for not hiring Irish. Seriously.
Why Do We Believe It?
Maybe the most unsettling thing about studying history is realizing how much of what we "know" about the past is actually just fiction that bled into the historical record somehow. Our one criteria for judging fact from myth is apparently whether or not it seems like something that could maybe have happened.
Like telling your friends you narrowly escaped a dragon attack to disguise your crippling fear of lizards.
A whole lot of our culture and history, and what we believe to be true about ourselves, came about just this way. Somebody wrote it in a song or a poem and years later it got quoted as fact because nobody bothered to question it.
That's... kind of terrifying if you think about it.
#1. Elaborate Medieval Torture Devices
The Insanity:
Quick: What pops into your mind when we say "medieval"? We bet most of you pictured some kind of torture device ("I'm gonna get medieval on your ass!").
You can just picture a man back then, led by church officials into a sinister underground chamber. He looks around, really wishing now that he hadn't written that hilarious caption about the Pope's new hat. In front of him stands the famous Iron Maiden, a hideous vertical chamber with an interior lined with iron spikes...
As if that weren't bad enough, there was also the Pear of Anguish, which would spread open and violently tear apart whatever human orifice it was pushed into...
... and the Spanish Chair, an iron seat covered in spikes which a victim was strapped into while his feet were roasted.
Ergonomics wasn't a big deal back then.
The guy's last thought before being tortured to death is, "I hope somebody make a theme restaurant about this someday."
But in Reality...
Despite being one of the most famous torture devices ever (and having a heavy metal band named after them), Iron Maidens didn't exist back then, and there's no record they were ever used on anyone. If you're saying, "But I've seen them in museums!" well, that's why they exist. These kind of "horrors of the medieval times" exhibits were hugely popular in the 19th century and it appears the Iron Maidens they showed off were cobbled together for the exhibit.
That terrible pear thing that they used to punish sodomy and adultery by ripping the offending organs to shreds from the inside? Also a myth. Nobody can find any reference to the device before the 17th century, and no record at all of it being used to destroy somebody's asshole.
What about the spiked chair? It's supposedly a device of the Spanish Inquisition, but once again there's no record of them using it, or anybody else.
Discovered in Spain (On the back of a fifth grade heavy metal fan's spelling test).
Oh, don't get us wrong. The medieval times sucked, and lots of people were tortured. But the torturers apparently didn't spend nearly as much time as we think gleefully coming up with diabolical devices to inflict their horrors.
Why Do We Believe It?
As we mentioned with War of the Worlds, most of us want to believe that history is a steady march of progress towards enlightenment. The further we go back, the stupider, cruder and more brutal we want to think people were. And the Middle Ages, with fewer written records than many other periods in Western history, provide an easy target.
It's not enough that torture did take place. We need our ancestors to be creatively sadistic monsters who spent all their time coming up with new ways to mutilate people rather than inventing penicillin. Like the bra-burning myth, the fact that these torture devices involve sex and violence also makes them more likely to endure.
If you need a "medieval" article for your museum, what's going to put more asses in the seats? A faked up medieval torture instrument that was used to sodomize heretics, or the reality ...
Come see our genuine medieval bit of metal that's slightly wider at the top!
Do you have something funny to say about a random topic? You could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow. Go here and find out how to create a Topic Page.
For more bullshit humanity believes every day, check out 5 Myths That People Don't Realize Are Admitted Hoaxes and Your Mom Lied: 5 Common Body Myths Debunked.
And stop by our Top Picks (Updated Today! Shit!) to see Brockway's extensive collection of torture devices.
And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter to get dick jokes sent straight to your news feed.
We have some bad news: American history isn't one glorious underdog story, the 'dark' ages weren't, and your favorite book sellers are now taking pre-orders for a text book written and illustrated entirely by the Cracked team! Hitting shelves in October, Cracked's De-Textbook is a fully-illustrated, systematic deconstruction of all of the bullshit you learned in school.
It's loaded with facts about history, your body, and the world around you that your teachers didn't want you to know. And as a bonus? We've also included the kinkiest sex acts ever described in the Bible.


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I added
with commands such as
in an attempt to include myfile without the concomitant
\clearpage. This didn't work, so I removed this new code and returned my tex file back to the same state it was in before. Now it won't compile! I keep getting the following error message:
! Undefined control sequence.
What the heck is going on??


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This is a list of alternatives to the Health Sciences Library's Interlibrary Loan service. Some of them are free while others charge various fees.
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Many public libraries are funded to provide ILL services that are typically less expensive than those at the Health Sciences Library. Denver residents may request items held at the Health Sciences Library and/or other libraries from the ILL service at Denver Public Library (DPL). Contact DPL at (720) 865-1718 for more information. If you are not a Denver resident, contact your local public library.
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In HexDefense, what is the actual damage each tower type (and its upgrades) do? Having this information will be helpful for maximizing the damage output of my layout.
I care less about the actual numerical damage values (because I don't know the creeps' health so it's meaningless anyway) and more about comparing the various towers.


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Former Census Director and current Professor and adviser Kenneth Prewitt of SIPA will discuss his upcoming book, What is Your Race? The Flawed Effort of the Census to Classify Americans (May 2013). Have you ever wondered why the Census includes subgroups for some races and not others? How the Census has contributed to the legal construction of race? If there should be a separate race and ethnicity question? How Latinos will be counted on the 2020 Census? Or why Arab Americans are identified as "White" on the Census? Come engage with Professor Prewitt on these questions and many more as the Civil Rights Law Society helps begin much needed discussion on the controversial issue of Census racial classifications. Contact: Carla Chow, email@example.com
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Bravo and thank you
Joe Komonchak, dotCommonweal poster, New York priest, Vatican II scholar, and fine preacher was ordained 50 years ago. Prayers of gratitude for his careful work and his spirit of making important distinctions. Thank you.
About the Author
Margaret O'Brien Steinfels, a former editor of Commonweal, writes frequently in these pages and blogs at dotCommonweal.
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I remember the day well and still have the book of Newman Sermons that Joe gave as a gift to those who assisted at the ordination in Rome. He loved Newman even fifty years ago! And his contributions to an understanding of Vatican II have placed us all in his debt. Grazie!
I met Fr. Komanchak a few times as a grad student at CUA, principally when we both were members of an accreditation subcommittee on Catholic identity. For me, it was more like a seminar at which I listened delightedly and said almost nothing. I've learned even more from his work on the Council since, and enjoyed reading him here. Ad multos annos!!
Congratulations, Fr. Komanchak, on this important milestone!
Here is the write up from Catholic New York earlier this year.
Though the picture doesn't have captions saying who is who .
I don't see Joe K in the picture. Unless he's the bishop standing to the right of the Cardinal! Looks kinda like him!
Thanks, Peggy, for the notice, and everyone for the kind remarks.
Ordinations in Rome in those days took place in December, so I celebrate the day in the same calendar year as the class of 1963 from Dunwoodie. That's why the story in Catholic New York has me listed along with those other New York priests celebrating their 50th anniversary. But because we link more closely with our New York class of 1964, we weren't at this year's golden jubilee Mass with Cardinal Dolan and so we aren't in the photo. That, Deo volente, will come next year.
Joe, Thank you for sticking it out! Or maybe it isn't as difficult as it looks from the outside.
Well, Fr. K. it seems we can enjoy the opportunity of wishing you well and expressing our thanks for all you have done for the Church, and in your pastoral presence at dot.com. both today and again next year!
Today is as good a day as any to say thank you. Many thanks, Fr. K, for your scholarship, your good humor and your endless supply of patience here at dotCom.
Congratulations Fr. Komonchak! We are very blessed have you blogging here.
By the way, the bishop in the Catholic NY photo is Bishop Gerry Walsh, the former rector at Dunwoodie.
Congratulations Joe. Ad multos annos1
Thank you for taking tbe time to help me with my doctoral research when I wasn't even your student or at your university...and then to email me a great Newman quote you thought might be helpful. And many thanks for the light, depth andinsight of your scholarly and pastoral gifts. Happy 50th....many more years of priestly service and joy.
On dotCommonweal, thank you for the post series at Lent that are always fun; for the pictures of mosaics, boats and fish and waves and faces; for the picture of a man sawed in half length-wise; for the Augustinian image of God as a hen gathering her chicks under her wings with a soft clucking sound; for the text about Newman pinning his listeners to their pews with his sharp homilies; for the clay face of a woman crying; for a traditional recipe that I tried in vain to find and try out once; and for many other posts that don't come to mind quite as readily as those memorable ones.
Fr. K--
Congratulations, Happy Anniversary, and thank you. I had always pegged you at being in your late 50s...guess I"ll have to adjust my mental picture of you now!
Maybe he was ordained at his First Communion making him 57.
Professor Komonchak, congratulations on the 50th annivesary of your ordination. Thank you, especially, for your efforts to educate us about Vatican II. Wishing you good health and many more years of service to the church.
Thank you, indeed, and many happy returns of the day!
JAK -- Prayers of thanks for all your good works. Many happy returns of the day!
And (if they say this south of the Carpathians):
sto rokov!
Congratulations and all good wishes, Fr. Komonchak.
Thanks to Fr. Komonchak and all priests and religious who have dedicated their lives to bring Christ to us.
Congrats and prayers for you and your loved ones. I am sure the next 50 years will be just as great as the first 50!!!
A story I heard in high school (more than fifty years ago!): When Pope Leo XIII was celebrating the fiftieth anniversary of his ordination as a bishop, someone wished him well: "Holy Father, may God grant you another fifty years!" To which the eighty-three year-old pope replied: "Why do you place such limits on divine Providence?"
Thank you all for good wishes and prayers.


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THE IONIA COUNTY PEACE COMMUNITY/LA COMUNIDAD de PAZ DEL CONDADO de IONIA welcomes volunteers of all ages who are interested in events and activities that promote a Beloved Community (www.thekingcenter.org/king-philosophy) where we recognize our interdependence and use our diversity and different gifts to enrich the whole.
For more information or to become a member, email firstname.lastname@example.com, call 616-527-7163 or like us on Facebook. Visit our website at ioniacountypeacecommunity.org.
By Amy Buckingham
One night recently I watched the end of a program on one of the PBS stations. It was a light travelogue about a western European country. The commentator made his report as he rode a bike, ate in restaurants, and walked with local people chatting about everyday life. At the end of the program he invited the audience to join him again in a future program about another locale. He talked of enjoying travel, seeing new things, taking part in new activities, tasting new food, and spending time with new people. He then said something that surprised me; it wasn't light at all. He told us to remember what Mark Twain said about going new places. He ended with the following quote.
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of people and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime." Mark Twain
I don't think Twain was saying we all have to go to Spain or some exotic, faraway place. I do think he was saying we would benefit from extending ourselves, though. He reminded me that the more we experience new and different people, activities, ways to do things, environments, and, yes, even food, the easier it is for us to not only accept differences, but to enjoy, appreciate, and truly respect them. In turn, we are kinder. I like Twain's lesson. I wonder what it would be like if all of us followed his advice?
AMY BUCKINGHAM is an Ionia resident who is passionate about eliminating "us" and "them" language. "It's 'we' in all aspects," she says. "I am doing what I can so that we all can be who we want to be." One of her favorite quotes is "Know that no one is silent though many are not heard – and work to change this."


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When the Bulldogs opened their season with a huge win against Fairfield, the CWC fan base was excited for the season to come.
While the team has had ups and downs this season, the downs have been too frequent as of late. So a road win over Fairfield would be no sure thing.
But CWC was able to get back on the winning track, taking home a 14-6 win.
Tyler Cushman started the game at pitcher, going three and two third innings and allowing six runs on six hits with a walk and four strikeouts.
Dakota Jolley picked up the win, going three and a third innings, allowing no runs on a hit with three walks and a strikeout.
Andy Vaughan and Travis Thompson were big at the plate, both driving in three runs each. Tyler Barbre led the team in runs scored with three.a
Barbre, Vaughan, Cushman and Dylan Rankin led the team with three hits each.
The team will host Elverado on Thursday and travel to Zeigler-Royalton on Friday.
Location, ST | website.com


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Last Modified: November 1, 2001
Last Updated: 2001-01-29 19:30:25 EST (Reuters Health) - ProstaScint imaging (Cytogen, Princeton, New Jersey) provides complementary information to prostate-specific antigen (PSA) level and Gleason scores in predicting prostate cancer recurrence and metastases, Ohio researchers report.
Dr. D. B. Sodee and colleagues at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland retrospectively examined 2290 ProstaScint scans of 2154 patients with prostate cancer, performed at 15 institutions over a 3-year period.
They stratified the patients into four groups: those who were newly diagnosed (group 1), those who had a rising PSA level after radical prostatectomy (group 2), those who had a rising PSA level after radiation therapy (group 3), and those who had undergone hormonal therapy (group 4).
The authors explain that in group 1, there was significant correlation of PSA level with positive ProstaScint scans of the prostate bed and ProstaScint detection of pelvic metastases, but not extrapelvic metastases. Among group 2 patients, "the association for detecting fossa recurrence was weaker and was insignificant for pelvic and extrapelvic metastases," they write in the December issue of Urology.
According to the report, in group 3 there was a weak association between PSA level and ProstaScint detection of fossa recurrence. The association was insignificant for pelvic and extrapelvic metastases in these patients. Among patients in group 4, the investigators observed no significant correlation between PSA and ProstaScint results.
For all groups, the researchers note, the distribution of positive ProstaScint results among the prostate/prostate bed, pelvic nodes and extrapelvic nodes was almost equal. In group 4, however, they observed a significantly greater percentage of extrapelvic metastases. "The ProstaScint results were independent of the Gleason score for 260 patients before and 285 patients after therapy."
Dr. Sodee and colleagues conclude, "The statistical similarity of pelvic and extrapelvic abnormal foci in the pretherapy and the post-therapy prostate cancer groups indicates that ProstaScint imaging provides valuable information, with the potential to aid both urologists and oncologists in the staging and treatment of prostate cancer."


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The Toast to Living Well gala, benefiting the Altus Foundation and held at the Hilton Americas, featured a style show by Houston designer Danny Nguyen. His regal evening gowns were complemented by Elaine Turner jewels, and fit nicely with the evening's theme, First Night of Winter in Paris. Two beneficiaries—a Houston family, and the Fort Bend Youth Sports Association—were honored, and the fash bash raised more than $200,000 in additional funds to help patients in underserved communities receive health care. –Photos by Composure Studios and Daniel Ortiz


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The thing about our sexual preferences is that we just accept them -- of course guys like boobs, and couples like kissing. Well ... why? Why don't we rub armpits instead? Why do so many people have foot fetishes? There has to be a reason.
And while maybe we can't explain your thing with puppets, science does have a few ideas about the other stuff we're into.
#5. Foot Fetishes Kept Us Free of STDs
Looking to warn your kid away from sexually transmitted diseases? Try encouraging him to lust after feet. No, that isn't an excerpt from our parenting guide, So You're Stuck With a Baby: Tips for Making It Interesting. It's actually a sound theory based on some pretty badass science.
Feet are the most fetishized body part out there. There's no obvious reason why -- it's not like, say, a leather fetish, where everyone can look at Catwoman and say, "Yeah, I get that." You can't have sex with feet, and even if you could, would you want to? A lot of fungus lives there.
Condoms won't help, and lube just makes it worse.
Well, scientists wanted to know why, so they started digging. First of all, how did it get started? There are several theories, including one from an expert who says that sensation in the feet and genitals both transmit to the same area of the brain, so there could be some accidental crossover there. But why would it persist through thousands of years of evolution? The answer appears to be disease.
And the tireless efforts of certain visionary directors.
Researchers collected history's records of foot-lust and compared it with the greatest STD outbreaks of the last thousand years: gonorrhea (the 13th century), syphilis (the 16th century, with an encore in the 19th century) and AIDS (the break-dancing years up to now). Scientists learned two things. The first was a greater appreciation for antibiotics, and the second was that foot fetishes are most prevalent in times of disease.
In other words, when our genitals know it's too dangerous to go outside, we start fantasizing about toes and bunions and the way sneakers smell. To test this theory, an intrepid band of sex researchers looked at the prevalence of feet in eight major pornographic publications from 1965 to 1994. Then they made a graph, because graphs are what get scientists off.
Discover Magazine
You're welcome. Now clean yourselves up.
It's worth noting that a general obsession with feet also correlated with periods of greater female power, as if women themselves were taking away the usual goodies and substituting the third filthiest part of their bodies instead, just to show men what was what.
#4. Oral Sex Helps Prevent Miscarriages
The nice thing about oral sex is all of it. No one gets pregnant, people who are virgins can stay virgins when they do it and according to the '90s, it doesn't technically count as sexual relations. Win-win-WIN. So it's easy to see why humans and animals and all things with genitals engage in oral sex in the first place. What's not so obvious is the evolutionary value of the act. It doesn't pass on the genes. And what do women get out of going downtown, other than an occasional free pass later on in the month?
"Let me and my entire extended family visiting for the week explain after you cut the grass."
If Dr. Gustaaf Dekker is to be believed, she gets the benefit of safer future pregnancies ... but only if she swallows.
Among other things, there are unique proteins in every man's sperm, and the more "familiar" a woman is with her partner's semen, the more likely her uterus is to accept it when it's time to procreate. And according to science, or this scientist, anyway, the very best way to get familiar with your future mate's manseed is to digest it.
Man gravy is good with beef and is best used as a garnish.
Dekker also found that pregnant women who practiced oral sex were less likely to have preeclampsia, a condition where the woman's immune system rejects her own placenta, presumably because she's less likely to recognize the fetus as a foreigner. Dekker puts it this way:
"If there's repeated exposure to that signal then eventually when the woman conceives, her cells will say, 'We know that guy, he's been around a long time, we'll allow the pregnancy to continue.'"
"He got a good job? He law abidin'? He better be."
Here's a hint to teenage boys everywhere: This is not the message you want to pass on to your girlfriend in the back seat of your car.
#3. Multiple Orgasms Exist to Encourage Freaky Group Sex
We've previously speculated that the female orgasm was strictly a leftover of evolution, that the clitoris is wired to feel good during sex because it's really a pre-penis. But there are other theories about the purpose of the female orgasm out there as well. Such as the one about how orgasms are merely an award for getting freaky with multiple partners. And why would a woman want multiple partners? So none of them would murder her babies.
"I want what every girl wants: a man who gets confused enough by orgasms that he forgets to kill my children."
According to one anthropologist, and also anyone with sexual experience, the female climax is a completely different animal from the male's. For one thing, it's harder to achieve. And for another, lots of women can have lots of them at once ... just over and over again. Men can't do that.
So Dr. Sarah Hrdy speculates that the orgasm was once an incentive for women to keep on mating once their first, or second, or third partner was done with his business. Because if she mated with lots of guys at once, none of them would know who had fathered her children. Which meant that killing off your rival's kids was impossible -- because they could be your kids. You Game of Thrones fans know what we're talking about here.
"No, his sociopathy is from his mother's side."
Dr. Orgasm's theory is backed up by observations in the animal kingdom. Langur monkeys are relatively (for monkeys) monogamous, and dominant males are all about infanticide in order to secure their rank as alpha male, and also to make the mom stop producing milk so she can mate again. And also because adult langur monkeys are monsters.
"You know what part of a baby monkey tastes best? The tears."
But you don't find that behavior among macaques and chimpanzees, or at least not nearly as much. And sure enough, the difference is that macaques and chimpanzee females bone lots of different dudes. So, the female orgasm may very well be evolution's reward to women for hosting nasty ape sex parties.


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TEMPLE (January 16, 2013)--The Temple VA will be hosting their first annual Combat Veteran Softball Tournament but need a few supplies first.
The tournament will be held March 16-17, but preparations are already underway.
A volunteer for the Central Texas Veterans Health Care System is looking for a sponsor for 3 dozen .44 core softballs and 2 dozen women's balls.
He is also looking for additional raffle items to help kick off the fundraiser.
Registration for the event is already underway through the Harker Heights Parks and Recreation Department.
The cost to participate is $160 and will benefit veterans in the Central Texas area.
Call Michael Bartch Sr. at (254) 743-1982 for more information.


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Often I find myself in the middle of some part of davening when the chazzan starts saying kaddish. Should I interrupt to answer or does it depend on which part of davening I am holding?
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There are different rules depending on which part of Davening you are up to, and the rules also depend on which part of Kaddish is being said.
During preliminary parts of Davening (Berachoth, Korbanoth, Pesukei DeZimra, etc.):
During Keriath Shema' UVirkotheha:
Interrupt between paragraphs (this is a technical term, not determined by the page layout of your Siddur) for:
Interrupt between verses (still technical, but a lot more intuitive than "between paragraphs") for:
During Shemoneh 'Esreh:
During the actual 'Amidah:
During Elokai Netzor:
After Yihyu LeRatzon (at the end of Elokai Netzor):
SOURCES: Memory of the rules printed in Artscroll and Siddur Tefillath Yosef, as well as Jewish day school instruction from years ago. I believe their source is primarily Mishnah Berurah, but see the M"B itself for more details and slight differences of opinion brought by the Magen Avraham and Peri Megadim. Also see the Shu"'A and RaM"A for slight differences. First see O"C 66:3 and M"B there for the rules of interrupting K"S, then see O"C 122:1 and M"B 4 who equates Elokai Netzor to K"S. M"B on 66:3 also give a few Kol SheKeins about "Tahanunim" and Pesukei DeZimra.
Both Sidur Koren and Sidur Tefilas Kol Pe have a table that shows exactly where one should or should not interrupt for Kaddish. I will attempt to summarize later or see if I can find the table online.
Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu, in the appendix to his edition of Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, prints a table for when this is permitted (Ashkenazi one from A. Bloom publishers, Sefardi one by himself). Remarkably, it is available online (p. 685 of this pdf).


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John E. Suedmeier, 45, of Nebraska City died Nov. 6, 2012 at his home as the result of ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease).
Survivors include his father, Harlan "Sid" Suedmeier of Nebraska City; sister Keri Hincker and husband Scott of Unadilla; nephew Samuel Hincker; other family and friends.
Funeral arrangements are pending at Gude Mortuary in Nebraska City.
Location, ST | website.com


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Our dog Cuervo is too short to see out the bedroom window to perform his watchdog duties without hopping up and down. He's a diligent boy, checking the perimeter several times during the night in hopes of "seeing something".
When he "sees something" it triggers a prehistoric reflex known to animal behaviorists as "hopping." After years of careful study, I have determined that there is a wide range of noises and events that will trigger this hopping reflex from one side of the scale labeled, "falling leaf" to the opposite end best described as "splitting atom."
At night, I have developed a curious habit known as "sleeping." It is curious how much at odds "sleeping" and "hopping" are. You may have noticed that there are a lot of quotation marks so far in this column. Feel entirely free to wiggle your fingers up in the air to illustrate them. Ignore passersby.
As silly as it seems, the mere fact that a dog is hopping up and down on my head in the middle of the night causes my own involuntary reflex, described to the layman as "screaming." My wife takes it all in stride, rolling over, cocooning herself in all the covers and shouting, "Hey! People sleeping over here!"
We got Cuervo from the Granby animal shelter. In a previous column I referred to it as the dog pound but apparently that's politically incorrect and as insensitive as calling a person a lawyer, just because they're wearing a tie. We told the folks at animal control that we were looking for a black hound mix that weighed about 50 to 60 pounds. One day they called my wife and said they had the perfect dog.
Sweet, I thought when my wife told me. I figured the perfect dog should have an annual income of about $65,000, wouldn't shed, sleeps on the floor and finds all our lost socks. The perfect dog would take out the trash and wax the cars on Sunday. So on the way to the shelter I asked my wife what color he was, "Uh, it is a 'he' right?"
"Well, I don't know, I didn't ask but they said it was perfect for us."
"What size?" I asked.
"I don't know," she said with a crabby edge, "is this the inquisition? They said it was perfect and they deal with dogs all the time."
Perfect must be a relative concept because the little yellow yapper they paraded out was clearly the wrong dog. I frowned and shook my head. My wife beamed and nodded hers. The dog hopped into my arms and started licking my face, "Oh," I said, "this is just perfect."
That was several years ago year ago and everybody's come around. We named him Cuervo because he's a strong licker. He's weaseled his way into our family as well as our hearts and sofa.
Who knows? If space aliens ever land in our back yard, maybe he'll just be the one to bounce off my head and chase them right back to Pluto.
What's me losing a little sleep compared to saving the known universe?


text:
Getting Here
The Sonesta Hotel Barranquilla is located in the northern area of Barranquilla, where the Magdalena River meets the Atlantic Ocean at the Carribbean Sea. Located about 450 miles north of Bogota, Barranquilla is known as Colombia's Golden Gate, as it is the largest port city in Colombia. The city is served by Ernesto Cortissoz International Airport (BAQ), one of the first and most prestigious airports in South America. The hotel is attached to Grand Boulevard shopping center, Coco Beach Club and AWA by Agua Helada one of the city's biggest nightclub.
Sonesta Hotel Barranquilla
Calle 106 # 50-11, Atlántico 080010
Barranquilla, Colombia
800.SONESTA (U.S. & Canada) or 57.5.3856060


text:
I was trying to mark an email as "Important" in Gmail and accidentally archived it.
Now I cannot locate it, since there is no "archive" label anywhere.
How do I get it back?
I was trying to mark an email as "Important" in Gmail and accidentally archived it.
Now I cannot locate it, since there is no "archive" label anywhere.
How do I get it back?
Click on All Mail on the left. When you see the message, open it, and choose the Move to Inbox option to "un-archive" it.
Alternatively, you can use the search feature to locate the message (the search box should be towards the top of the Gmail page).
For more details visit Gmail Help.
If you want to search for more than one archived email, entering the following into the search bar will list all your previously archived emails:
Just search for
An archived email is just an email with the inbox label removed. Search for it, or open a label that it should be in, then click on move to inbox.
In addition to the other answers that show how to find your answer again, you can always get it back immediately after archiving it by clicking "Undo" in the message that appears just after the action:
I have used this "undo" feature many times. Also works for deleted messages.
Archiving an email is just a solution to hide so many emails from Inbox. You can anytime view these emails on label "All Mails" shown on left panel on gmail.
If you can remember who is the sender or his mail id or part of his name, try to search with this information in the search box on the top of the page.
Thank you for your interest in this question.
Because it has attracted low-quality or spam answers that had to be removed, posting an answer now requires 10 reputation on this site (the association bonus does not count).
Would you like to answer one of these unanswered questions instead?


text:
A friend order an iPhone 4 to replace his iPhone 3G which has a cracked screen. He offered it to me.
I have AT&T on a family plan with no text or data. What should I do with the phone?
I'm open to suggestions, but I'm considering...
- fixing the screen and then selling it. I'd put that money towards purchasing the iPhone 4 with a data plan.
- fixing the screen and keeping it.
- selling without fixing the screen.
I guess I could keep it without fixing the screen too, but...


text:
What were some of the theories of how the Egyptian pyramids were built? I know about the one about placing logs under the stones to move them into place, but what are some other theories? Will there be back fire to those theories like if the logs were placed under the stone blocks they might sink into the sand?
closed as not constructive by DVK, American Luke, Steven Drennon♦ Dec 30 '12 at 3:12
As it currently stands, this question is not a good fit for our Q&A format. We expect answers to be supported by facts, references, or expertise, but this question will likely solicit debate, arguments, polling, or extended discussion. If you feel that this question can be improved and possibly reopened, visit the help center for guidance.If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.


text:
GotoGreen LA is now GoToGreen.com.
If you are not redirected within 5 seconds, please click here.
Since Gotogreenla.com does not organize any of the events or activities listed on this web site, we cannot certify or confirm the qualifications and safety issues on attending any of the listings. Although we try to check the links on a regular basis, we cannot guarantee the content or information. We will not be held responsible for the listing accuracy, information, or anything that might happen to you as a result of attending any events or meetings listed on Gotogreenla.com.
Sustainability for the Environment. Live Green. Be Low Impact.
© 2007 Go To Green LA - The Los Angeles Green & Environmental Calendar


text:
Gun found: Pellet gun found behind toilet at Walgreen's, 2501 Sunset Blvd., Tuesday.
Cited: Shane M. Wilson, 25, Apartment A, 2516 Crabbe Blvd., fictitious registration and no operator's license; Aimee Livingston, 37, 2801 Sunset Blvd., expired registration; James R. McDevitt, 39, 196 West St., Mount Pleasant, defective vehicle; and James Nickerson, 30, 505 Labelle St., Brilliant, red light and possession of drug paraphernalia.
Arrested: Beth A. Bane, 50, 200 Fernwood Road, Wintersville, failure to appear warrant out of municipal court, Tuesday.
Theft: Residence entered in the 2500 block of Alvarado Boulevard and PlayStation and controllers taken, Tuesday.
Theft: Residence entered in the 800 block of Brady Avenue and cash taken from purse between Sunday evening and Monday morning.
Arrested: Desirhea Mayes, 20, 122 Rosemont Ave., Follansbee, possession of heroin, Tuesday.
Arrested: Sheena Albaugh, 27, 703 Third Ave., New Cumberland, possession of heroin and possession of hypodermic needle, Tuesday.
Arrested: Candi J. Patton, 35, 110 Murdock Ave., Mingo Junction, bench warrant out of municipal court and falsification, Tuesday.
Jefferson County
Cited: Scott Abraham, 52, Pittsburgh, speeding; and Dustin L. Harkins, 64, 294 Maple Ave., Smithfield, speeding and expired registration.
Arrested: Thomas J. Chanay, 42, 1391 Tweed Ave., Steubenville, domestic violence and conveying drugs into detention facility, Tuesday.
Arrested: Stacy Shebovsky, 42, 1391 Tweed Ave., Steubenville, bench warrant out of Wintersville county court, Tuesday.
Theft: Cell phone and handgun taken from residence on Knox Township Road 245, Toronto, Tuesday.
Break-in: House on county Road 22A, Bloomingdale, broken into and PlayStation, games and DVDs taken and GPS unit taken from vehicle outside, Tuesday.
Ohio State Highway Patrol
Arrested: Michael Moore, 31, 3963 Fernwood Road, Wintersville, failure to appear in court warrant out of Pennsylvania, today.
Arrested: Erin L. Irwin, 101 Paulman Circle, Mingo Junction, warrant served for embezzlement, Monday.


text:
News Release (Back to Menu)
U.S. Bankruptcy Court Judge Morris Stern to Deliver Axelrod Lecture on Upheaval in NJ Homeownership on March 24
February 17, 2011 –Hon. Morris Stern, Judge of the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the District of New Jersey, will give the Allan Axelrod Lecture at Rutgers School of Law–Newark on Thursday, March 24, 2011, from 11:20 am to 12:35 pm in the Baker Trial Courtroom. His topic is "Upheaval in New Jersey Homeownership: Mortgage Foreclosures and Bankruptcy."
The lecture honors the late Allan Axelrod, William J. Brennan, Jr. Professor of Law Emeritus at Rutgers School of Law–Newark and a legendary figure in the history of the law school, where he taught from 1948 to 2007. Axelrod, who died in August 2008, was regarded as one of the ablest, most penetrating, and most exciting law teachers of his era. His fields of special interest were Contracts, Property, Commercial Law, and Bankruptcy.
Judge Stern is a 1965 honors graduate of Rutgers School of Law–Newark, where he was an editor of the Rutgers Law Review and Dean's Award recipient upon graduation. He received his LL.M. from New York University School of Law in 1975.
After law school, Judge Stern served as law clerk to Hon. Robert A. Matthews, Superior Court of New Jersey, Chancery Division, Hudson County, followed by two years on active duty as a Captain in the U.S. Army Ordnance Corps. He was a partner in the law firm of Stern, Dubrow, and Marcus for 30 years, specializing in commercial litigation and transactions. During that time, Judge Stern was an Adjunct and Visiting Professor at Rutgers School of Law–Newark, teaching Bankruptcy and Commercial Law. He also served on a number of state and local boards, and bar committees, including, among others, as Commissioner of the New Jersey Public Broadcasting Authority, public member of the New Jersey Insurance Underwriting Association (New Jersey Fair Plan), chair of a Supreme Court of New Jersey District Ethics Committee, and member of the editorial board of the New Jersey Law Journal.
Judge Stern was appointed to the bench in 2001 and is sitting in the Newark vicinage of the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the District of New Jersey.


text:
For those who are still using blender on Ubuntu 11.04, the version in the Software Center is out of date (2.49). Yes, it does make a difference, there was a major user interface change with the release of Blender 2.5. For those using Blender in Ubuntu 11.10, the version in the Software Center is also out of date(2.57). The current release of Blender is 2.60. Who can I contact go get the versions in the two Software Centers updated? Any help is much appreciated.
Normally Ubuntu releases the packages with a distro release and the only updates for them are bugs or security updates, if you want to use later versions of the software you probably need to add a PPA to your list.
This PPA supplies the latest 2.60 version for 11.10, to add it to your system use these commands
After that use these commands to update your package list and possible packages
Probably not the answer you were hoping for, but I've started handling this manually myself.
I've started downloading the Linux tar.gz files from the Blender website and extracting them to /opt, and updating a symbolic link to the latest folder.
This way, all I have to do is point a launcher to /opt/blender/blender to launch the latest version.


text:
From: Jeff Squyres (jsquyres_at_[hidden])
Date: 2007-07-25 09:04:44
WHAT: Merge the sparse groups work to the trunk; get the community's
opinion on one remaining issue.
WHY: For large MPI jobs, it can be memory-prohibitive to fully
represent dense groups; you can save a lot of space by having
"sparse" representations of groups that are (for example)
derived from MPI_COMM_WORLD.
WHERE: Main changes are (might have missed a few in this analysis,
but this is 99% of it):
- Big changes in ompi/group
- Moderate changes in ompi/comm
- Trivial changes in ompi/mpi/c, ompi/mca/pml/[dr|ob1],
WHEN: The code is ready now in /tmp/sparse-groups (it is passing
all Intel and IBM tests; see below).
TIMEOUT: We'll merge all the work to the trunk and enable the
possibility of using sparse groups (dense will still be the
default, of course) if no one objects by COB Tuesday, 31 Aug
The sparse groups work from U. Houston is ready to be brought into the
trunk. It is built on the premise that for very large MPI jobs, you
don't want to fully represent MPI groups in memory if you don't have
to. Specifically, you can save memory for communicators/groups that
are derived from MPI_COMM_WORLD by representing them in a sparse
storage format.
The sparse groups work introduces 3 new ompi_group_t storage formats:
* dense (i.e., what it is today -- an array of ompi_proc_t pointers)
* sparse, where the current group's contents are based on the group
from which the child was derived:
1. range: a series of (offset,length) tuples
2. stride: a single (first,stride,last) tuple
3. bitmap: a bitmap
Currently, all the sparse groups code must be enabled by configuring
with --enable-sparse-groups. If sparse groups are enabled, each MPI
group that is created will automatically use the storage format that
takes the least amount of space.
The Big Issue with the sparse groups is that getting a pointer to an
ompi_proc_t may no longer be an O(1) operation -- you can't just
access it via comm->group->procs[i]. Instead, you have to call a
macro. If sparse groups are enabled, this will call a function to do
the resolution and return the proc pointer. If sparse groups are not
enabled, the macro currently resolves to group->procs[i].
When sparse groups are enabled, looking up a proc pointer is an
iterative process; you have to traverse up through one or more parent
groups until you reach a "dense" group to get the pointer. So the
time to lookup the proc pointer (essentially) depends on the group and
how many times it has been derived from a parent group (there are
corner cases where the lookup time is shorter). Lookup times in
MPI_COMM_WORLD are O(1) because it is dense, but it now requires an
inline function call rather than directly accessing the data
structure (see below).
Note that the code in /tmp/sparse-groups is currently out-of-date with
respect to the orte and opal trees due to SVN merge mistakes and
problems. Testing has occurred by copying full orte/opal branches
from a trunk checkout into the sparse group tree, so we're confident
that it's compatible with the trunk. Full integration will occur
before commiting to the trunk, of course.
The proposal we have for the community is as follows:
1. Remove the --enable-sparse-groups configure option
2. Default to use only dense groups (i.e., same as today)
3. If the new MCA parameter "mpi_use_sparse_groups" is enabled, enable
the use of sparse groups
4. Eliminate the current macro used for group proc lookups and instead
use an inline function of the form:
static inline ompi_proc_t lookup_group(ompi_group_t *group, int
index) {
if (group_is_dense(group)) {
return group->procs[index];
} else {
return sparse_group_lookup(group, index);
*** NOTE: This design adds a single "if" in some
performance-critical paths. If the group is sparse, it will
add a function call and the overhead to do the lookup.
If the group is dense (which will be the default), the proc
will be returned directly from the inline function.
The rationale is that adding a single "if" (perhaps with
OPAL_[UN]LIKELY?) in a few code paths will not be a big deal.
5. Bring all these changes into the OMPI trunk and therefore into
Jeff Squyres
Cisco Systems


text:
A fire caused a lot of damage to the backside of the Last Chance Bar and Grill in Caldwell Thursday.
According to reports, the fire started in the kitchen area around 3 p.m. The Caldwell Fire Dept, and other agencies giving mutual aid, kept the fire contained to that building.
Wellington fire personnel responded to the fire.
The cause of the fire remains under investigation.
Location, ST | website.com


text:
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Wilby's bookend tackles clear the way to success
WILBY — Gregory Thompson and Bryan Ballenilla are the cornerstones of Wilby High's offensive and defensive lines.
Thompson is the 6-foot-2, 280-pound offensive right tackle, Ballenilla the 6-2, 215-pound left tackle. Both are dominating defensive linemen as well. The tandem will have a big role in determining how successful the Wildcats' season will be and whether the Wildcats can improve on last year's respectable 5-5 record in Gino Capuano's first season at the helm.
Capuano is counting on his second year as head coach to be successful, in large part thanks to the leadership of Thompson and Ballenilla.
Thompson created a daily ritual by starting his day with 100 push-ups in a span of only a few minutes, reminiscent of the opening scene in the 1983 high school football movie, "All the Right Moves," starring Tom Cruise and Craig T. Nelson.
After this routine, Thompson gets into a rhythm with sit-ups.
"It's something that I have tried to do to help with my overall strength," said Thompson. "It's definitely not an easy thing to do, but I love the challenge. After a while, you can definitely see the positive results."
At the Naugatuck Valley League weightlifting championships last spring, Thompson captured the 220-pound weight category by bench-pressing 335 pounds. His goal this year is lofty, up to 400, but Thompson believes he is up to the task.
First things first, though. He wants to help lead the Wildcats to a winning season, and thinks that he and Ballenilla can make that happen.
Not only is Ballenilla a good run and pass blocker, he's also an exceptional pass rusher. In 2012, Ballenilla recorded 12 quarterback sacks.
"Bryan has really good technique and agility, and he's really fast on the corner in trying to get to the quarterback," said Thompson. "He pushes me to be the best that I can be."
An All-City and All-Brass Division defensive selection in 2012, Ballenilla said his best game was against Watertown last year when he compiled nine tackles with three sacks in a 22-7 win. One of those sacks came on a fourth-down play deep in Wildcats
See WILBY, Page 11B
territory with Wilby clinging to a 14-7 edge.
"I was on the right side and I had a clean view of the quarterback," said Ballenilla. "I was able to elude the block and went straight at the quarterback. It was a real big play."
On the offensive side, Ballenilla said he recalled making some key blocks to spring tailback Jacob Thomas for touchdowns against Kennedy and Sacred Heart. Being a two-way, three-year starter has given Ballenilla a lot of confidence. But he is not resting on his laurels.
"You have to stay serious and focused," said Ballenilla. "We were very organized in the spring, and I expect that it will be the same way during the preseason."
A co-captain along with Thompson, Ballenilla plays by a simple philosophy.
"Even before I became a captain, I tried to act like a leader," said Ballenilla. "I just play hard and aggressive. We're playing a team game, not an individual one, and if everyone plays together, we can be successful."
Reach Mark Jaffee at email@example.com or on Twitter@TheRealJaffman.
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Sprouted Seed and Nut Butters
|This catalog has no sub-catalogs.
Macadamia nut butter is a good source of thiamin, protein, flavonoids, and omega-3. It has a sweet buttery taste and texture. Handmade in small batches, our organic macadamia nuts are ground with a low-temperature process below 115 degrees that preserves life-essential fatty acids, enzymes, and vitamins.
Ingredients: Premium, organic, whole, raw, sprouted macadamia nuts.
About Our Better Than Roasted® Product Line
Better Than Roasted presents a line of soaked, sprouted and dehydrated, certified organic raw nuts and seeds, whole nut and seed butters, trail mixes, and love bites.
Our Better Than Roasted process maximizes the bioavailability of essential vitamins, minerals, and nutrients in our nuts and seeds. We begin with nuts and seeds that are raw, premium, whole, and certified organic. We then hand sort, soak, rinse, and dry them at a low temperature, not exceeding 108° F, which preserves temperature-sensitive enzymes and nutrients.
Once you try Better Than Roasted, you will agree that our sprouted nuts and seeds are not only better than traditional nut products, but healthier too!
All materials related to health information are provided for educational purposes
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Note serving size:


text:
The Mike Nolan one is freakin funny.
Hooray for the Emmitt on the Brink Reporter
Not sure which one's the better coach.
So that's why the Chiefs couldn't score any points in the pre-Tyler Thigpen days...
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Cleveland Browns savior.
The Mike Nolan one is freakin funny.
I'd do Brady Quinn...ahhh I mean Ariel
WalterFootball.com Forum Moderator
Siena NFL ATS Record(TBD)
Down LOSING Units Through Week 16
How do I post pictures?
Hahahahahaha these are always awesome love the Mike Nolan one the best
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." Winston Churchill


text:
Given a set $E \subset \mathbb{R}^d$, define the distance set of $E$
$$ \Delta(E) = \lbrace|x-y| : x,y \in E \rbrace, $$ where $|\cdot |$ is the usual Euclidean distance.
$\bullet$ The Erdos-distance conjecture roughly asserts that if a set $E \subset \mathbb{R}^d$ has finite cardinality $|E| = n$, then the distance set has size at least $|\Delta(E)| \ge n^{\frac{2}{d}+ \underline{o}(1)}$ $\quad$ (where $\underline{o}(1) \to 0$ as $n \to \infty$).
The case $d = 2$ was recently solved by Guth-Katz using an ingenious adaptation of Dvir's polynomial method along with the so-called algebraic method.
$\bullet$ The Falconer-distance conjecture is a continuous analogue of the Erdos-distance problem. It asserts that if the $E \subset \mathbb{R}^d$ has Hausdorff dimension $\dim_H(E) > \frac{d}{2}$ then the corresponding distance set $\Delta(E)$ has positive Lebesgue measure.
What is the relationship between these two results? It seems that the $\frac{2}{d}$ and the $\frac{d}{2}$ are related, but how, precisely? Is it possible to turn the Guth-Katz result into a result concerning the Falconer-distance problem?


text:
Mandarin Corner
From Noisebridge
声桥中文角 (Noisebridge Chinese Corner)
Purpose and Goals
Mandarin Injunction meets Tuesdays at 6:00pm at Noisebridge to practice speaking Mandarin, drawing ideograms, and share Chinese culture (e.g. delicious culinary experiences).
Time and Place
Mandarin Corner is at 2169 Mission St., San Francisco on Tuesdays, 6:00pm.
Curriculum Content
Possibly considering adopting and improving the wikibooks books on Spoken Mandarin and Written Chinese
Lesson Notes
Chinese Corner Lesson 3-03-2009 Mandarin question words


text:
5 Ridiculous Archaeological Frauds (That Fooled the World)
As our love of the first three Indiana Jones movies proves, the world has kind of a love affair with archaeology, with all its sparkly treasures, dangerous expeditions and bullwhips. But as enchanted as we are with the search for Holy Grail-esque treasures, every so often a discovery comes along that excites us so much that we forget to ask whether it might be bullshit.
#5. Drake's Plate of Brass
Sometime in 1579, British sailor Sir Francis Drake landed in California and declared it the property of Queen Elizabeth, to the bemusement of the people who already lived there. Since then, archaeologists have figured it would be really cool to find something he left behind. UC Berkeley professor Eugene Bolton was particularly obsessed with the legend of a brass plate that Drake apparently minted, and he frequently bored his colleagues with this during pub sessions with a club known as the Ancient Order of E Clampus Vitus, who described themselves variously as "a historical drinking society" or "a drinking historical society."
World-renowned experts on the study of barroom floors and the bottoms of pint glasses.
In 1936, someone dug up a brass plate signed by Drake in the California mud, and Bolton immediately lost his shit over the discovery. Before anyone could sit him down and sober him up, he'd shelled out thousands of dollars for the hunk of metal and told the world how it was all sorts of really real. And if Bolton's fangirlish squealing, shaking and crying wasn't a convincing enough declaration, the word of the California Historical Society's president and directors seemed to do the trick. The plate was displayed at the Smithsonian, Golden Gate International Exposition and Bancroft Library. When Bolton eventually kicked the brassy bucket, he did so with the knowledge that his life's goal had not been a failure, and that's where the story ends.
Later, Uncharted immortalized Bolton by having him jump off a 400-foot cliff while drunk.
But Wait ...
It took until 1977 before the truth about Drake's plate of brass came to light -- it was a cruel prank on Bolton by his drinking buddies.
Those wacky professors of Clampus Vitus became so exhausted by Bolton's obsession that they decided to make his dreams come true, and then set them on fire. Together, they forged an insanely detailed replica of the missing plate, buried it in the ground and waited for the fun to begin. Of course, they did leave a sign that the plate was a forgery -- they painted the club's logo on it, in fluorescent paint that can be seen under a black light.
The only problem was that when the plate was dug up, nobody bothered analyzing it for secret black light messages, because why the hell would they? That's when things began to spiral out of control. It turns out that the Clampus club had created such an awesome forgery that it went on to fool every expert that they had hoped would uncover their prank, laugh and buy them a round of beers. Very soon, it had gone so far that the club members presumably spat in their hands and vowed never to talk about it, thus wasting everyone's time for the next 40 years.
"We'll tell him the truth on his deathbed. It'll be hysterical."
#4. The Cardiff Giant
In 1869, two men digging a well on New York farmland hit something they thought was rock but turned out to be something much more unusual -- an 11-foot-tall man made of stone. Despite the bizarreness of the find -- the statue was lying down and appeared to be in agony, like a real dying person, and Native Americans aren't known for their statue carving anyway -- the discovery proceeded to ring exactly zero warning bells for the men who went on to sell tickets to the public to come and see the thing.
"See the amazing giant man! Jump on his corpse! Spit in his eye!"
The farm owner, William Newall, and his cousin, George Hull, claimed that the statue was actually a petrified, fossilized giant from Bible times, possibly a friend or relative of Goliath. The public thought, sure, why not? They'd know, they were farmers.
"When you eat potatoes, you eat the poop of God."
But Wait ...
Obviously it wasn't a real giant, but it wasn't even a real artifact. Turns out it was all part of George Hull's scheme to mess with religious people's heads and make them give him all their money. After getting his cousin and a small number of men on board with the hoax, he obtained an 11-foot block of gypsum stone under the pretense that he was commissioning a statue of Abe Lincoln, then they carved and buried the "giant" and spent a year practicing their surprised faces.
"I pledge allegiance ... to this giant stone corpse ... we found underneath the herb garden ..."
Apparently, nobody involved in selling Hull an 11-foot hunk of stone thought it was suspicious that the same man would claim a year later to have accidentally found an 11-foot stone statue. The hoax became one of the most successful in American history before it fell apart thanks to P.T. Barnum, the world-famous bullshit peddler who didn't fancy being upstaged. He declared the Cardiff Giant to be a hoax, and Hull sued him over it. Before accepting the case, the judge demanded that Hull state under oath that the giant was not, in fact, a hoax. Perhaps seeing a prison cell in his near future, Hull wisely declined to do so.
Later, as most things do, the affair became the inspiration for a Simpsons episode.
Turns out it was an elaborate advertisement for sweet corn.
#3. The AVM Runestone
The Kensington Runestone has been one of the biggest and most hotly debated archaeological finds in U.S. history. Discovered by a Swedish farmer named Olof Ohman in 1898 in Minnesota, the runestone is written in an ancient Viking language and suggests that medieval Swedish settlers lived in Minnesota centuries before Columbus made his voyage.
We know what you're thinking. This article is about archaeological hoaxes, and this is a story about a guy who happened to be Swedish "finding" an ancient Swedish artifact just lying around. Bullshit, right?
Minnesota was a hell of a long way to travel just to carve "VIkiNGs WaZ HeRE" into the landscape.
Actually, no. Despite the coincidences, Ohman was not responsible for the runestone, and its authenticity continues to be debated.
Instead, we're focusing on the second runestone that turned up over a hundred years later in the same area. In 2001, a professional stone carver named Janey Westin found what came to be called the AVM stone, another rock covered in Viking runes that everyone figured was proof of the Kensington stone's authenticity.
We still know what you're thinking. A professional stone carver just happened to stumble upon an amazing artifact that happened to be a carved stone. Bullshit?
Chicken scratch?
Haha, no. Amazingly, Westin is also legit.
But Wait ...
Oh, but the runestones are still bullshit.
In the case of the AVM stone, what really happened was far more embarrassing. A museum run by runestone experts was fooled by the cunning skills of a few spring breakers.
And to think we wasted our time forging IDs.
Like all college students, Germanic philology majors Kari Ellen Gade and Jana Schulman were looking for a good time during their time off; unlike all college students, they thought carving Norse invocations on a big-ass rock made for a crazy night. Drunk on knowledge, they invited their friends to get "totally hammered," broke out the chiseling supplies and headed to a field to reenact Girls Gone Wild: Archaeological Hoax Edition.
Swedish National Heritage Board
Check out those boulders!
When they owned up to their hilarious pranking years later, Gade and Schulman said they'd been conducting a little experiment to prove how gullible those Kensington folks were, and it totally worked.
As for the original Kensington stone? Scholars are starting to think that's probably also fake.