text:
Alex Scott is the eight year-old girl who raised a million dollars for pediatric research simply by selling lemonade. Alex lost her battle with cancer last year, but her memory has lived on throughout the country.
This weekend in Bowling Green...kids gathered at lemonade stands across town to carry on a tradition that Alex Scott had started.
Over twenty stands were set up around town to raise money for pediatric cancer research.
Eleven year-old Riley Miller got the idea to set up the stands...after seeing Alex Scott on Oprah and hearing about her success.
"I want the kids to be cancer-free...and this is a fun way to do it too and it can help research cancer."
The lemonade stands raised more than $14,500 for pediatric cancer research. According to Barry Monroe...who's eleven year-old son was recently cured of Berket's Leukemia, events such as the lemonade stand really do help.
"Funds being raised do make a difference in childrens lives including my son's life"
If you would like more information on Alex's Lemonade Stand, or would still like to donate...you can log onto http://www.alexslemonade.com


text: Here we have one of the professors from Monsters University. I thought that it would be a smart idea to make this lesson on "how to draw Professor Knight" ahead of time before the release of the upcoming prequel to Monsters Inc. Professor Knight looks like a grumpy fellow that has a no nonsense tolerance level when it comes to teaching his students everything there is to know about scaring. This lesson is going to be just what the professor called for especially since he is going to be seen in the film more than once or twice. Have fun people, and enjoy drawing Professor Knight from Monsters University.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Rare heart defect killed Dartmouth skier at Vt. race
HANOVER, N.H. (AP) — An autopsy has determined that a rare heart defect killed a 20-year-old Dartmouth College cross country skier last weekend.
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Whimsical mat lets your child know "Owl always love you!" A cheery way to identify personal space, this mat is a clever gift for any youngster. Front is 50-oz. urethane with needlepoint punch face; back, 40-oz. urethane; 1⁄4"-thick 18" x 26-5⁄8" W. Hand wash with soap and water; rinse with hose; do not use bleach.
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Congratulations on completing the challenge, although that must have been weird winning the CL and finishing 10th
Congratulations on completing the challenge, although that must have been weird winning the CL and finishing 10th
the next season is worse fighting relegation by dec , i didn't take the opportunity to root out the players affecting morale as i though it was a blip.
Last edited by Thebaker; 20-03-2010 at 15:43.
Congrats Thebaker, well done.
Well done on completing the challenge Thebaker
Congrats Thebaker. Daf - any idea how many completions we now have?
Aario - Season 3 (2012-2013) - BSP - 3rd - Playoff and FA Trophy Winners
Not been on here, or able to play for ages but have finally finished my 3rd season!
After last seasons disapointment (playoff semis and FA trophy semis lossers) this time round we managed to go that little bit further in both competitions to win promotion to the football league and also win our first trophy
After winning the BSN and finishing 3rd in the BSP due to great home form and being in leagues were no-one else wanted to win it in my first 2 seasons this time we were never in with a shout of winning the league. We were always confortable for the playoffs though.
The playoff semis were both comfortable games and put us into the final against Farnborough who had finished 5th and surprisingly beat Wrexham in their semi. Again the game was very comfortable, probably helped by the fact that both Farnboroughs first choice strikers missed the game through injury.
Went one better than last season in the FA Cup by getting an easy draw through to the 3rd round were we get thrashed by Premier Division QPR.
Another easy draw, not having to play anyone else from the BSP until the final, sent us to Wembely for the FA Trophy Final against high flying Wrexham. It was a very tight game but a single goal in extra time was enough to see us win our first silverware
Here is my first team squad. A better keeper was added along with Mitchel-King and Craney in central midfield to replace the aging Keates. I think Mitchel-King (another find from the backroom advice screen) may get more games at centre half in the future. Basey at left back had a solid first season as well.
Here are the transfers made during the season and those who I have managed to get in for next season already.
Aims for next season
Get myself into midtable and stay there! Also see if my policy of recruiting staff as much for their knowledge/nationality as their stats leads to a few more foriegn players fancy us now we will be a league club.
Winnings and TV money from Cup games lead to a profit for the year.
Still need to find a tactic which works away from home, which explains the tactical consistency stat.
Season 1 reportCode:Season League Position Achievements -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square North 1st Promoted as Champions 2011/12 Blue Square Premier 3rd Playoff semi-finalist, FA Trophy semi-finalists 2012/13 Blue Square premier 3rd Playoff Winners, FA Trophy Winners
Season 2 report
Last edited by Aario; 20-03-2010 at 17:19.
el sid - Canvey Island - 2013/2014
Squad Stats
Media Prediction - 24th
League Table
A wildly fluctuating league season, saw us being as high as 2nd and as low as 17th. We went through periods where we were playing like real contenders and some where we just abysmal. However, we did enough to qualify for the playoffs, taking the last playoff spot.
Semifinal First leg
Semifinal Second leg
League Cup - We don't have too much luck in the Mickey Mouse trophy it seems
FA Cup - Not so much luck in the FA Cup this season, as we were knocked out by Sheffield United in the 3rd round.
Johnstone's Paint Trophy - Lost to eventual finalists, we were pretty ordinary in the match.
Key Players :
Kenny Cooper - January signing and did a very good job
Keko - Fantastic player, will be looking to sign him permanently next season
Alassane N'Diaye - Solid player in midfield
Koke - Same as Keko, fine player
Diego Promes - Just doesn't lose headers at the back
Niko van Aken - Did a reasonable job between the sticks
Code:Season Division Position Achievements --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square South 5th Promoted via Playoffs 2011/12 Blue Square Premier 1st Promoted - FA Trophy winners 2012/13 Coco-Cola League 2 2nd Promoted 2013/14 Coco-Cola League 1 6th Promoted via Playoffs
Last edited by el sid; 22-03-2010 at 11:57.
Hastings United, Season 2017-18 Season Eight, Blue Square South
Once again Parkins transfer saga failed to see Phil leave the Pilot Field this summer, and I felt that with his presence in the team, he could propel an improving squad up to at least a playoff place. It turned out that his presence served more, perhaps, to unsettle the squad as his persistent transfer requests and injuries undermined the team somewhat. Could the squad cope? Read on
Luke Ayling seemed the standout transfer during the summer but he was largely disappointing, unfortunately. Hendry and Nixon were decent signings, and Hayward, Willmott and Ollerenshaw were all good performers for us this year, although in Willmotts case, the ability wasnt really recognised until the last few months of the season. We did well to get £20k for a fringe player in Quinn and though I was disappointed to lose the reliable Sam Hatton, his performances for Havant & W seemed to suggest I was well shot of him.
Competition Reports
Blue Square South
We entered the playoff places after 11 games and never left them after that. Automatic promotion was a possibility for a while, but not far into the new year.
The Final Table this season. Massive step up for us this year. Going into the playoffs, though, I knew that if we didnt get promoted this year, we might not get another chance
The Playoffs
In the first leg against Hereford, we were really unlucky, and Phil Parkins missed penalty could have produced a one sided result rather than the draw.
The second leg was extremely disappointing. Despite dominating possession, we couldnt get the performance right and limped out of the promotion picture with the smallest of whimpers. Very disappointing end to an extremely good season. More of the same next time round, please!
Hereford went on to beat Farnborough 1-0 at Yeovils Huish Park to secure promotion to the Blue Square Premier. Probably for the best, Ive only managed one win in seven games against them.
The e.on FA Cup - terribly poor performance against Eastbourne Borough ended our run this year.
The FA Trophy - Slightly ulucky defeat to Lewes here.
The squad.
With selected stats for all competitions, ordered by the amount of time they spent on the pitch a rough guide to their importance to the team I suppose.
Unfortuantely, from looking at this, its clear who the main culprits were for the fact that we couldnt get closer to automatic promotion this year: Luke Ayling in particular was a massive disappointment. Ollerenshaws average rating belies his 50% clean sheet record, so perhaps he isnt so much to blame, but only three of the top ten players in terms of minutes on the pitch managed average ratings above 7. Ricketts was signed right at the end of the season on loan for 8 months. His terrible playoff performances werent the best start to his career and I wish I had played Cassius, really. However, he should be a good player for us at this level next season.
Key Players
Sebastien Lake-Gaskin
Just as I thought Cassius was taking over as the primary goalscorer, Lake-Gaskin has a superb season and his goals were a major factor in the drive for the playoffs.
Marcus Cassius
Not so many goals this year but plenty of assists and good performances. 56% shots on target is very good.
Phil Parkin
Despite a lot of moaning about wanting to move to a bigger club and a few injuries, Parkin still played well. But our failure to secure promotion surely will result in his departure this summer. This will mean I have to give Ayling another chance, probably, but Parkin is really disrupting dressing room harmony.
Eoin Wearen
Significant improvement in his second season. Could be a long term fixture in the team.
Notable others:
Dave Wilson. Stepping up and looks like he might be decent cover if Parkin does leave. Good timing, Dave! Nathan Hayward is a really good utility player. Used him in midfield but moved back to central defence a few times when Ayling was struggling and needed to come off. Will Hendry was very encouraging going forward this year and his experience was a major factor. Will be looking to him to tutor some up and coming players over the next few years. Ben Willmott unfortunately didnt get much of a look in until late in the season but he did really well and is a good prospect for next season and beyond. Finally, Darragh Hoey seems likely to be the 2nd real star of this level to come through the Hastings rank. His first season after graduating from the academy, the young Irish midfielder has bags of potential, and that average rating in his first season is very promising indeed.
Still struggling here, just hoping that promotion can ease the worries a bit. Or a tycoon takeover, perhaps?!
The board have now created an affiliation with Crystal Palace. This will provide a little cash and perhaps some decent loan players from the newly promoted members of the Championship for next season. Could just be the needed catalyst for a real promotion push at last.
Club Records and Awards
>> Highest League Position: 5th in Blue Square South
>> Highest Gate Receipts: £24,000, vs Hereford, BSS Playoff Semi-Final 1st Leg, 12th May.
>> Youngest Player: Darragh Hoey 16y15d vs. Bishops Stortford, 6th August.
>> Youngest Goalscorer: Darragh Hoey 16y53d vs. Crawley, 26th September.
>> Highest Average Attendance: 656
Cumulative records (will be published every season as long as the holder is at the club):
>> Most League Apps for the Club: Phil Parkin 266 RECORD EXTENDED
>> Most League Goals for the Club: Marcus Cassius 105 RECORD EXTENDED
>> Fans Player of the Year: Sebastien Lake-Gaskin
FPOY wins:
Phil Parkin: 4
Sebastian Lake-Gaskin: 3
Louis Lavers: 1
MY team of the year:
Willmott Wilson Parkin Ayling Nixon
Hoey Wearen Hendry
Cassius Lake-Gaskin
Subs: Franks, Hayward, Kirby, Mullin, Lawrie, Ricketts, Corcoran.
Overall XI .Mullin the new inductee
New Youth Cohort
No-one of note this year, really.
So close yet so far this year. This squad is so nearly there. If Palace, my affiliate, let me have a couple of decent players on loan next season, then that final push for promotion could be on...
Career Summary (and links to season reports):
Code:Season League Position Achievements ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square South 18th None 2011/12 Blue Square South 9th None 2012/13 Blue Square South 9th None 2013/14 Blue Square South 17th None 2014/15 Blue Square South 17th None 2015/16 Blue Square South 15th None 2016/17 Blue Square South 14th None 2017/18 Blue Square South 5th Lost in Play-off Semi-Final
Call me a big fat idiot, but how do you link to a single post, as GreyedOutMan has in his update?
And hang in there, GOM, hopefully it'll be ninth time lucky next season
...and you a mod!!!
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I think last year might just be a watershed,although a massive amount of players have been released over the summer. I have kept a lot of the major stars, but there will be some squad gelling issues. On the plus side, I have virtually halved my squad's wages!
Been planning on starting this for quite some time but never getting around to it I have finally started and after the first holiday season have taken charge of Cambridge City.
Initial Manager Profile
Going to be documenting my career in the Career Updates forum too; here.
Wish me luck!
Boston united season 22 2031/32
League Table, Position Graph final position - 1st
the league was once again a fantastic competition for us with just a little blip at the start of the season and we stayed at the top for the whole season and had the title wrapped up with 4 games to go.
Community Shield
Played Man City in the community shield for the first piece of silverware of the season. Once again we ran out winners in a close game that went to Penalties
FA Cup
Leeds dumped us out of this competition in the 5th round.
League Cup
Got to the final again and came up against Arsenal. After ending normal time at 0-0 we went to extra time where we managed to sneak a winner in the 101st minute.
Champions League
Once again got to the final after drawing a fairly tough group in the group stage. After this stage it was a fairly easy route to the final with the toughest opposition being Olypique Lyonnais. However we got comprehensively beaten in the final by Stuttgart.
Star Player
The star player this year has been Angelo Manno
This young Italian defender was ridiculled by the fans when he joined but has since become a fan favourite and is one of the first names on the team sheet. He even scores some great goals.
Key Players
James Farrell Once again a fantastic season for Farrell. Sharing playing time with the player below on the left.
Adrian A good pick up here and has played well sharing his time with Farrell.
Jesus Ochoa Ochoa was brought in after I sold Stephen Grant last season. He's proved my faith in him by being a midfield maestro all year an dhe's also a full Mexico International
Stuart MacArthur Macarthur has been great when he's played especially partnering Ochoa.
Ian Miller Miller has been a great acquisition for me after QPR decided to sell him on. Pushing my Swedish striker Jonas Bergstrand down to a backup role for the team.
Other News
In other new's I got the Manager of the year award. Also the board has decided to spend £6 million on another 4534 seats in the stadium taking the total capacity to 31500. They are also upgrading the youth facilities.
Also I have decided to show My overall best 11 from now on.
Code:Season League Final Position Achievments ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square North 7th none 2011/12 Blue Square North 2nd Promoted Via Playoffs 2012/13 Blue Square Premier 15th none 2013/14 Blue Square Premier 20th none 2014/15 Blue Square Premier 12th none 2015/16 Blue Square Premier 3rd Lost in Playoff Final 2016/17 Blue Square Premier 1st Automatic Promotion, FA Trophy 2017/18 Coca Cola League 2 2nd Automatic Promtion 2018/19 Coca Cola League 1 21st Relegated to League 2 2019/20 Coca Cola League 2 4th Lost in Playoff Final 2020/21 Coca Cola League 2 4th Promoted via Playoffs 2021/22 Coca Cola League 1 9th none 2022/23 Coca Cola League 1 11th none 2023/24 Coca Cola League 1 1st League 1 Champions 2024/25 Coca Cola Championship 11th none 2025/26 Coca Cola Championship 14th none 2026/27 Coca Cola Championship 5th Lost in Playoff Semi Finals 2027/28 Coca Cola Championship 1st Championship Champions 2028/29 Premier League 7th Qualified for the Europa League 2029/30 Premier League 2nd Qualified for the Champions League 2030/31 Premier League 1st Premier League and Carling Cup Winners 2031/32 Premier League 1st Premier League and Carling Cup Winners
Other Winners
Premier League - Boston utd
FA Cup - Arsenal
Carling Cup - Boston Utd
Champions League - Stuttgart
Europa League - Man City
European Championship - Italy
Aims for next season
Win the Champions league and try to do a threepeat on the PL.
Truro City FC - League 2 - 2019/20
Media Prediction: 5th
Actual Position : 2nd
Bounced back up at the first attempt, just how I wanted it, didn't do it the easy way, lots of inconsistency throughout the season, but some good New Year signings led to us winning 12 of the last 14 and comfortably getting 2nd in the end. Robert Kottgen's 41 goals in all competitions were certainly a help. I think the squad we went up with this year was weaker than the 1 last time so I've a job ahead of me to go one better and stay up in League 1 this time.
League Table
FA Cup
Another round would have been nice but having seen the next round was an away game against Colchester anyway, I'm not that upset I've gone out.
League Cup
JP Trophy
Nice little run, ended by.......you guessed it........Colchester.
Obviously the relegation meant the budget had to be reduced, and transfer fees recouped, so naturally there was alot of change.
Dunno where I stand for next year at the mo, cause I thought I'd stay up comfortably last time.
Career Overview
Code:Season League Position Achievements -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square South 8th None 2011/12 Blue Square South 4th PlayOff Semi-Finals 2012/13 Blue Square South 3rd PlayOff Runner Up 2013/14 Blue Square South 1st Blue Square South Winners 2014/15 Blue Square Premier 13th None 2015/16 Blue Square Premier 5th PlayOff Winners 2016/17 League 2 13th None 2017/18 League 2 2nd Runners Up/Promotion 2018/19 League 1 23rd Relegated 2019/20 League 2 2nd Runners Up/Promotion
Next Season
Stay up.
Congratulations on another double, Almondo. And coming close in the CL, you'll get there soon You lose kudos points for using the word 'threepeat' though
Well done on bouncing straight back, CSF
Hmmmmm - I feel like I have somehow cheated here.......
.... or is this some kind of bug :confused:
Anyway, about to start my 4th season (first as a pro club and first in the Football League) and I get the usual message about new youth intake. The majority are, as normal, rubbish however there is also this guy
As I say, first season as a pro club with training and youth facilities as poor as they come. Seems ridiculous that one of Forest, Derby (both in the top 10 of Championship in all seasons of the game) or even Notts County (won League 2 in holiday season and in League 1 ever since) would have let a talent like this be missed. He is, after all, already described as being of national reputation.
Oh well, guess I will lose him pretty soon anyway
Yeah sorry about that word Terk. I do hate it myself but couldn't think of anything else to use. Hey Aario give him a contract as soon as possible.
MikaelS - Chippenham - End of Season 5 (2014/2015)
CCC Prediction - 24th
CCC Position - 8th
FA Cup - Lost in 3rd Round (v Portsmouth)
League Cup - Lost in 2nd Round (v Ipswich)
CCC (8th) - League Table | League Graph
CCC Summary
Not the worst nor the best season. It was like a rollercoaster ride, beating the top teams, losing to the bottom ones. 8th is okay considering the players I have.
Domestic Cups
Cups are a laugh.
League Cup
FA Cup
Best Elevens - Overall | Season
Record Sheet - Player Records | Team Records
Manager Info
Manager Overview
Manager Profile
Manager Personal
Manager Information
Team Info
Information Overview
Information Stats
Information Facts
Information Stadium/Facilities
Other Info
Player Selection
Transfers 1 | Transfers 2
Affiliated Clubs
Players of the Season
Zakarie Boucher - A fantastic season for him. He played the most games of all players and despite being shot down often he still performed well.
Bobby Spencer - Youngster taking over to cover for injuried. Scored a few goals and did a decent job.
Davide Enrico Somma - Topscorer this year. Did very well considering he played right midfield.
Owain Tudur-Jones - A solid season for him which gave him a draft for Wales' National Squad.
David - My scout found this gem and he quickly proved himself a real beauty. I look forward to next season where he should do even better.
Chippenham Awards
David got Fans Player of the Year
Player on CCL1 Team of the Season - 1
Chippenham News
We moved to the new stadium.
New sponsorship kit worth 500k per annum
Season Summary
A decent season overall. I really got beaten in the beginning and just couldn't keep up. With a last sprint I finished in a respectable 8th spot. Cups are still to be improved.
Game Summary
Code:Season League Position Achievements --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square South 1st place (105 points) Division Champions 2011/12 Blue Square Premier 1st place (113 points) Division Champions, FA Trophy 2012/13 Coca-Cola League 2 1st place (103 points) Division Champions 2013/14 Coca-Cola League 1 5th place (77 points) Promoted via playoffs 2014/15 Coca-Cola Championship 8th place (71 points)
Aario, Holmes looks like an amazing player, sign him onto a FT contact quick and put a huge price tag on him, about 10 million to scare off other clubs.
You do get these gems from time to time, i had one in my first season in L1 - walked straight into my team, chairman sold him within 6 months.
Last year i had a 16 yo L1/championship standard player in my youth squad when i started the first day of the challenge, this was with Merthyr and their superior youth facilities though .
Just find a bit strange that such a good player would only be noticed by a club of our standing. Sure you get a few players who come up through the non-league ranks to make the highest standard but normally they come through late as they are doing something else when they are teenagers.
In real life if a teenager from the Nottingham/Derby area was known nationally (i.e. played for England school boys you would imagine) there is no way he would not be signed to one of Forest, Derby or at a stretch Notts County.
Anyway, I shall enjoy it for as long as I can
FAO: el sid... Just noticed you seem to have jumped a league... straight from L2 to Championship - impressive
You know what sucks but is also pretty cool at the same time? Fielding a weakened team in the FA Trophy because you think you're gonna lose and you've got tired players, only for a team that should have been ripped to shreds by higher division opposition to make your fixture congestion problem worse by pulling off the upset.
DizzyIzzy: be grateful your in a cup, I keep going out in the first round of every cup every year !! *Sobs for the loss of his FA Cup revenue*
But I want to win promotion, though, and still being in the FA Trophy is harming my chances of doing that. I don't have a particularly large squad, and the captain of my U-18s is on a personal mission to injure someone every time he goes into training (seriously, I've had SEVEN injuries in training caused by the same guy throwing in late challenges and colliding with people...). Plus, with so many part-time players, they don't have the natural fitness, and my pitch is falling apart... Goddamn Oxford.
Hmm, I had something similar with a fella called Seyfo Soley injuring alot of my first team. I did notice it started when i put him as available for reserves... maybe ****ing em off makes em go in hard in training
As a side note, regards your pitch...get used to it, I've Nuneaton in League 1 and my pitch is still in "terrible" condition
I asked for my pitch to be relaid once when I got to the Championship and now it seems to be relaid automatically every year, despite the fact that we've moved to a new ground since then.
Mine is so bad, the board agreed to relay it at the end of the season.
Oh bloody hell, instead of getting turned over at Luton in the first leg of the semi, they've drawn 1-1. It's like they want to win the bloody trophy or something.
Hmm, I've requested the pitch be re-laid, and same as Dizzy, they've send end of season.. Cool, thats that sorted been bad for the last 3 seasons!
BTW: Anyone know how I can get rid of the "HG" for home grown status icons? They're annoying and unnecessary imo.
Izzy's Eagles 2010/2011 Season Summary
League Table
FA Cup
FA Trophy
Transfers I
Transfers II
Squad A-M
Squad N-Z
Code:League Performance Season Div Pos P w D L F A GD PTS Notes 2010/2011 BSN 1st 42 24 14 4 63 27 +36 86 Promoted as ChampionsNotes:Code:Other Competitions: FA Cup Second Round: 2010/2011 FA Trophy Winners: 2010/2011
All in all, a successful first season. Winning the FA Trophy, despite my best efforts to tank the quarter final against Oxford was the perfect end to a promotion season. It was a tough fight, with Northwich still in it until after the penultimate game despite fading badly at the end of the season with 2 draws and 2 losses in their last four games to hand me the title and lose out on 2nd. Time to get rid of most of my players so I can build a good squad for next season!
Last edited by DizzyIzzyB13; 23-03-2010 at 13:15.
League 1 and I've still got some of my BSP team
Cambridge City ~ The Lilywhites Climb up the Leagues!
2010/11 ~ Blue Square North
I'd set myself the target this season of getting used to the club and this level of football, with avoiding relegation the main aim and anything else a bonus - the board agreed.
I was pleasantly surprised to see we had a few good players in the squad already, a solid base to build upon if my assistants report was anything to go on. I quickly released those out of contract and not up to scratch while re-signing those that I thought had a future. With the transfer of Sambrook from Welling pre-arranged I bought the total of new players in on permanent deals to 9 and bought two more players in on season long loans. Although not all successful they at the very least provided added squad depth.
League Table | Graph
A very impressive season saw us finish mid-table in 12th. The first half of the season up until the new year saw us fail to keep any consistency going where we would go 4 or 5 without a win before winning two on the bounce, before once more going on a run without a win. At the turn of the new year we were on a worrying long run without a win and for the first time could see the relegation place looming but a mammoth 14 game without a loss streak (5 wins, 9 draws) saw us rise up the table and we weren't mathematically without a shot of the play-offs until there were two games remaining, we which promptly lost. A brilliant defensive record was to be the backbone to this success although we struggled to score goals as I failed to find a strike partner for Bryan, something to rectify next season hopefully.
FA Cup
We got unlucky with the draw for the FA cup unfortunately, and faced Chelmsford from the BSS who were up in 3rd at the time (they went on to be promoted via the play-offs) and we just didn't turn up.
FA Trophy
Another unfortunate draw, and another away game against an in-form BSS team. We didn't put up a fight and fell at the first hurdle once again, this time to Bath.
Key Players:
Michael Abnett - The right back was a rock in our defence, putting in consistence performances throughout the season.
Tom Bender - The young Welshmen on loan from Colchester had a tremendous season at left back and together with Abnett stifled the opposition wingers for most of the season.
Anton Bryan - Our top scorer had a good season with a nice haul of goals. He did however have a bad patch mid-season where he failed to score for something like 20 hours but he bounced back in tremendous form once he broke the drought. Hopefully if I can find him a strike partner of the same ability he will strive.
John Kennedy - The versatile midfielder had a good season. Playing in a mixture of central midfield and right midfield he used his experience to help the younger guys around him.
Next Season:
Aim for next season will be to improve the squad further now that I know more about the current bunch, I'd be happy with mid-table again although I have hopes we could make a run for the play-offs with the right signings.
Career Overview:
Code:Season | League | Position | Achievements -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 | Blue Square North | 12th | -
How are you all doing that career overview thing?
The best way would be to quote my post above and copy it from there, then paste it into your update/season review before editing your details in. Hardest part is getting it to line up, you just have to keep adding and removing spaces then previewing it.
Doing it in notepad is easier
Also, life in the championship has been very hard so far for Canvey Island, with 3 defeats in our first 4 games! Mon staying in the CCC next season
Guys, I'm sorry for going into OT, but I wanted to ask someone to simulate a save so I can play by the rules. I hope it's not a problem (not for you guys with dual/quad core processors, but a problem for me with a single-core one) as it lasts around 45 mins. On my PC, it lasts at least 2-3 hours. Just the time needed for me to lose my inspiration.
So, small db, everything by the rules. Simulate 'till June 24th and I'll be thankful.
Thanks and sorry once more.
Thanks for the link.
Smart move by me, searching through this whole topic looking for a save... Didn't thought of scrolling down. Thanks
This and that linked topic could be somehow joined, at least someone could put a link in the first post here...
I hope it won't.
Thanks for your help. I'll post an update tommorow.
Hednesford Town F.C.
Season 1 - 2010/2011 - Blue Square North
Preseason / Media Prediction: 18th / 1st report
Newly promoted semi-pro club from Hednesford is my first shot at this challenge. The club is often called 'Pitmen' and their trophy cabinet is almost empty. Althrough they were founded in 1880, last title (only one) was won back in 1995 (Zamaretto League Premier) and they were 3rd only a year after that in Blue Square Premier.
Our home matches are played on Keys Park, Hednesford. Our stadium can take up to 6500 people and its capacity is a positive thing in this league as other stadiums' can take around 4000 supporters.
The media are predicting low 18th place (from 22 clubs, 20-22 are relegated), I believe we can do better and I'm going to try to be in top half. For that, I got Ł4500 per week for wages (at start, the club was spending around Ł1000 p/w) so I can attract some better players who can rise up to the challenge.
Transfer-update tommorow
Last edited by TIR669; 25-03-2010 at 20:02.
nice layout, croman!!
Dartford - Barclays Premier League - 2037/38
This was going to be a tough season and another one of transition. I predict I will need at least three more years (this included) before we're winning the Premier League & Champions League again.
League Table
League Table Graph
This season started off with a ridiculous amount of lengthy key injuries, included one for top striker Conor Buchanan which put him out until March. The younger ones did what they could but most of the season we spent in mid-table obscurity. The results against the top sides weren't bad surprisingly but our form was not good until it reached March or so. Buchanan returned and him alongside Marko Grgic really transformed our side into one that was going places. It's amazing what a bit of extra fire power can do for overall team performances.
We ended up clinching third place which was a success believe it or not and I think I should be confident enough I can win the title again within the next two years.
Towards the end of the season it became apparent a change of chairman was around the corner. Eventually it came through and the new guy added £100million to the funds. He had the cheek to suggest he was going to change manager but eventually let me stay - ungrateful git!
Carling Cup A good run which got us to the final against Liverpool. It wasn't our day as we had two men sent off and that pretty much ended our comeback.
FA Cup A decent run which ended when we met Premier League and FA Cup winners to be, Man City.
UEFA Champions League Considering how we struggled in the league, the CL seemed to be a doddle! We cruised through to the knockout stages where we put out Juventus in the quarters and Inter in the semis. We had a few key injuries to the midfield come the final against Atletico Madrid and on the day, we suffered in the last few minutes.
Squad Looking good for the future but we still need the experience of the older ones.
Transfers Jan Karg moved on Man City for £20million purely because I felt to keep the transition going I would need to move on somebody in the midfield to let a few young ones get games.
Finances Looking very prosperous now but still no word on a new stadium
Key Players This Season
Marko Grgic Broke his own record for goals scored in a season, picked up the Premier League golden boot, picked up the FWA Footballer of the Year award and picked up the European Golden Boot. Decent enough
James Day A young lad who come through well this season and popped up with a few goals in times of need, including in the CL Final even though it was a consolation come the final whistle.
Conor Buchanan Being out until March, he played his heart out for the final few months and deserves a mention for the amount of goals he scored in a short space of time.
Cemil Dilmen Great performances in the CL. Missed the final which I contribute to our lack of invention on the night.
After winning the Confederations Cup I expected us to kick on - the international management curse is still well with me.
For starters we only managed to come runners up in our World Cup qualifiers group.
We then drew my own home country and incredibly we became another famous upset for the green and white army.
It is taking the **** now how much I suck at International Management. I might just give it up until I win the Premier League with the youngsters.
Club Career Overview
International Career OverviewCode:Season League Position Achievements -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square South 4th Promoted Via Play-Offs 2011/12 Blue Square Premier 5th Defeated in Play-Off Semi-Final 2012/13 Blue Square Premier 1st Promoted as Champions 2013/14 Coca Cola League Two 10th n/a 2014/15 Coca Cola League Two 2nd Promoted 2015/16 Coca Cola League One 6th Defeated in Play-Off Semi-Final 2016/17 Coca Cola League One 9th n/a 2017/18 Coca Cola League One 1st Promoted as Champions 2018/19 Coca Cola Championship 13th n/a 2019/20 Coca Cola Championship 3rd Promoted Via Play-Offs 2020/21 Barclays Premier League 8th n/a 2021/22 Barclays Premier League 10th Qualified for Europa League via Fair Play League 2022/23 Barclays Premier League 16th n/a 2023/24 Barclays Premier League 15th n/a 2024/25 Barclays Premier League 5th Carling Cup Winners, FA Cup finalists, Qualified for Europa League 2025/26 Barclays Premier League 1st Premier League Winners, Europa League Winners, Qualified for the Champions League 2026/27 Barclays Premier League 1st Premier League Winners, FA Cup Winners, Champions League Winners, Super Cup Winners Challenge Complete 2027/28 Barclays Premier League 1st PL Winners, FA Cup Winners, CWC Winners, CL Winners 2028/29 Barclays Premier League 1st PL Winners, CWC Winners 2029/30 Barclays Premier League 1st PL Winners, FA Cup Winners 2030/31 Barclays Premier League 1st PL Winners, FA Cup finalists 2031/32 Barclays Premier League 1st PL Winners, FA Cup Winners, CL finalists 2032/33 Barclays Premier League 2nd PL runners up, Carling Cup Finalists, FA Cup Winners 2033/34 Barclays Premier League 1st PL Winners, Carling Cup Winners, CL Winners 2034/35 Barclays Premier League 1st PL Winners, FA Cup Finalists, CWC Winners, CL Winners 2035/36 Barclays Premier League 2nd Carling Cup Winners, FA Cup Winners, CWC Winners 2036/37 Barclays Premier League 2nd n/a 2037/38 Barclays Premier League 3rd Carling Cup Finalists, CL Finalists
Code:Season Nation Achievements -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hired by Brazil 2027/28 Brazil N/A 2028/29 Brazil Qualified for the 2030 World Cup Sacked by Brazil Hired by Italy 2030/31 Italy N/A Resigned from Italy Hired by Holland 2032/33 Holland Semi-Finalists in Confederations Cup Resigned from Holland Hired by Spain 2034/35 Spain N/A 2035/36 Spain Lost out to Portugal in the Euro play-offs Resigned from Spain Hired by Italy (again) 2035/36 Italy Upon quickly realising the Italy squad is worse than when I managed it before I decided to not bother Resigned from Italy (again) Hired by Russia 2037 Russia Winners of the Confederations Cup Runner up in World Cup Qualifying Group/Lost Play-Off Resigned from Russia
Last edited by JonnyCurrie; 25-03-2010 at 20:59.
That is a nice layout croman.... I want!
--NOTE: This season was completed months ago but I haven't had time to write up or to continue with the challenge. I am not a season and a half ahead of thsi so I wanted to write up the last 2 seasons. Screenshots are lacking so apologies for that!--
alig4321 - AFC Hornchurch - 2011/2012
My second season in charge was going to be of learning from my mistakes in the first season and hopefully pushing on to win more games than I lost. Maybe I could sneak a playoff place and gain some valuable experience but I won't be expecting promotion.
Media Prediction - 16th
League Table
League Graph
The season went pretty well and improvced as I went. Throughout the season I managed to ride Kisuka ll the way into the playoffs and then through them and into the BSP.
Playoff Semi Final - Leg 1
Playoff Semi Final - Leg 2
Playoff Final
Code:Season Division Position Achievements --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square South 14th 2011/12 Blue Square South 3rd Promoted via Playoffs
alig4321 - AFC Hornchurch - 2012/2013
After the previous joyous season of promotion, I just wanted to consolidate and try to stay in the BSP so my reputation could rise and I would be able to attract the next level of player. However, this season was going to be anything but consolidation.
Media Prediction - 24th
As you can see from the table and graph below, Hereford had the league sewn up with 15 games to play. They were over 20 points clear at one stage! Somehow I went on a streak of 27 games unbeaten from 9th January through to 11th May and I climbed the table. It culminated in a final day win at York and Hereford could only draw at home to Shrewsbury meaning we had pipped them on the last day. I was happy to see they won the playoffs and joined me in League Two as they deserved to!
The upturn in form was largely due to a few new players brought in mid season.
Roberto Platero banged goals in for fun finishing 2nd top scorer with 30 having played just 27 league games.
Yassine Naciri became the creative genius I needed to sit in the hole.
Steven Smith and then Nathan Porritt were loan stars for 3 months each from my parent club, Crystal Palace. They both banged goals in alongside Platero.
League Table
Code:Season Division Position Achievements --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square South 14th 2011/12 Blue Square South 3rd Promoted via Playoffs 2012/13 Blue Square Premier 1st Promoted
Cambridge City ~ The Lilywhites Climb up the Leagues!
2011/12 ~ Blue Square North
After a solid mid-table finish last season I hoped to repeat the feat and possibly put on a push for the playoffs if I could bring the right players in to strengthen the team.
The screenshot is missing one key signing Matt Green who signed last season in May after the season had finished but for some reason his transfer has disappeared from both seasons transfer history page. 3 others came in on permanent deals and another 2 on season long loans each one playing an active role for us this season. None of those that left had impressed and so were allowed to leave without much ceremony from the club.
League Table | Graph
A huge 4-1 win in the first game of the season set the tone for this season. Another great defensive record but this time we could score a lot more thanks to the three key strikers Green, Bryan and Orr. Up until the midpoint of the season we we're keeping up with Nuneaton but an indifferent run of form meant they ran away with the league and in the end we squirmed over the finish line for the playoffs as despite going into them unbeaten in 5 we had drew the last 3 to eventually finish 5th on what was a tight run in for a place in the playoffs. This was partly due to losing the three key strikers mentioned due to injury at this crucial part of the season.
Playoff Semi Leg 1 | Leg 2
We faced Corby in the semi-final, and our head to head record in the league the past two seasons was 2 wins a piece, interestingly neither team managing to win at home. Richard Orr returned from injury just in time to be the hero of the semi-final for us as we managed to head through to the final with wins in both legs.
Playoff Final
Wealdstone awaited us in the final, recently moved from the BSS they had the upper-hand in the league after we had lost once and drawn the other against them. An early goal for them meant we went into the break behind and having not looked very impressive. We came out all guns blazing in the second half but nobody could make the breakthrough and become the hero we needed, cue our captain Jamie Baker the 32-year old scoring his 4th and 5th goals of the season late on to lead the team to the Blue Square Premier!
FA Cup
A better draw meant we progressed two round for some nice financial boosts but once more we drew Chelmsford, now in the BSP, away and although we looked better than before we rarely troubled to cause an upset.
FA Trophy
An away trip to BSS side St.Albans looked a tricky tie but an early Stanley goal and a solid defensive display meant we moved on to face BSP side Barrow, who we beat twice in the league last season even though they went up via the playoffs, but we lost this close battle.
Key Players:
Craig Stanley - The ex-Morecambe man had an amazing season, being far to good for this league. He added that spark in the centre of midfield which was missing last season.
Matt Green - The pacy striker had a great season scoring 18 goals in just 31 games with injury restricting his appearance total.
Anton Bryan - Less goals than last season but his teamwork with both Orr and Green depending on who he was playing with lead to some more impressive performances on the whole.
Richard Orr - Forced his way into the first team after starting as a substitute taking his chances when either Green or Bryan were out injured. His goals and assist tally speaks for itself.
Next Season:
Survive. Pure and simply. I don't plan on a huge squad overhaul, I'm just hoping to bring in some players in a few key areas plus a few more for added squad depth. That could all change though if things get desperate as the season progresses of course.
Career Overview:
Code:Season | League | Position | Achievements -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 | Blue Square North | 12th | - 2011/12 | Blue Square North | 5th | Promoted via Playoffs
Nice one on the promotions guys.
GreyedOutMan and jordanswinburn, thanks. It's keep it simple for me.
AliG, congrats on two promotions in a row.
LCFC, also congrats. I posted in your carrer update topic already.
Unfortunately, I'll have to quote myself.
Patch: 10.3.0
Leagus loaded: England (to Blue Square N/S)
EDT Files: NONE please, it loades more players and slows the game (or does it?)
Game start date: July 2009 (simulate until June 24th)
Database size: Small
Aprox. player count: ~10000
Tick: Use real players, Use real fixtures when available, Allow transfer budgets and Enable Player Attribute masking
Untick: Add key staff
Basically, it should look like THIS, only DB size should be small. On my PC, this runs 'on' 3 stars, and this on 0,5 stars...
If anyone has some free time... Thanks.
Boston united season 23 2032/33
League Table, Position Graph final position - 1st - 3 in a row.
After having a bad start to the season we finally managed to hit the top spot and stay there. We had the title wrapped up with 3 games to go.
Community Shield
Beat Arsenal in the shield to record our 3rd straight Community Shield.
FA Cup
The cup final run saw us face Liverpool in the final. A tight final where one of the Red's players was sent off saw us run out 2-1 winners.
League Cup
Three in a row here now.
Champions League
After a fairly straight forward draw in for the group stage which saw us come up against Real Madrid for the first time in the clubs history we had a fairly difficult route through the knockout stages facing A.C Milan, Liverpool and Olympique De Marseille. Having brushed the three of them aside we came up against Real again. After splitting the ties in the group stages 1 win apiece this was the rubber match. A tight fought game saw us edge out our illustrious Spanish opponents 2-1 to record the first ever Champions League win at our 3rd attempt.
Two big money transfers in here with us signing young Itallian left back Roberto Catalano for £12.5 million from Juventus and Paying over £19 million for Terry Campbell from Portsmouth.
Star Player
The star player this year has been James Farrell
Farrell who has been subject to the advances of Juventus has once again proved his worth to the club. He was awarded the CL best Player and also a place in the CL Dream Team along with Antonis Labakis.
Key Players
Roberto Catalano Catalano has basically taken over in the Left back slot from Iain Mackay although they do tend to share playing time. This guy has lots to give at the age of 19.
Raul Goikoetxea
Roberto Allevi My first choice keeper for almost 10 years has been great again this season
Terry Campbell Campbell slotted straight into the side with my other strikers. Honestly I didn't think he'd be a starter but with injuries to a couple of the strikers I had to play him and what a decision it turned out to be with him taking the clubs top scorer slot this year.
Other News
In other news I got the Manager of the year award and Catalano got the Premier League Young Player of the Year award.
I have also taken the Brazillian National job and hope to qualify for the World Cup.
best 11
New inductee's into Best 11
James Farrell
Code:Season League Final Position Achievments ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square North 7th none 2011/12 Blue Square North 2nd Promoted Via Playoffs 2012/13 Blue Square Premier 15th none 2013/14 Blue Square Premier 20th none 2014/15 Blue Square Premier 12th none 2015/16 Blue Square Premier 3rd Lost in Playoff Final 2016/17 Blue Square Premier 1st Automatic Promotion, FA Trophy 2017/18 Coca Cola League 2 2nd Automatic Promtion 2018/19 Coca Cola League 1 21st Relegated to League 2 2019/20 Coca Cola League 2 4th Lost in Playoff Final 2020/21 Coca Cola League 2 4th Promoted via Playoffs 2021/22 Coca Cola League 1 9th none 2022/23 Coca Cola League 1 11th none 2023/24 Coca Cola League 1 1st League 1 Champions 2024/25 Coca Cola Championship 11th none 2025/26 Coca Cola Championship 14th none 2026/27 Coca Cola Championship 5th Lost in Playoff Semi Finals 2027/28 Coca Cola Championship 1st Championship Champions 2028/29 Premier League 7th Qualified for the Europa League 2029/30 Premier League 2nd Qualified for the Champions League 2030/31 Premier League 1st Premier League and Carling Cup Winners 2031/32 Premier League 1st Premier League and Carling Cup Winners 2032/33 Premier League 1st PL, CL, Carling Cup and FA Cup Winners
Other Winners
Premier League - Boston Utd
FA Cup - Boston Utd
Carling Cup - Boston Utd
Champions League - Boston Utd
Europa League - FC Bayern
So a famous Quadruple for the Pilgrims there. it was a tough seaosn with games against some of the top european sides and also at least 4 games against both Liverpool and Arsenal.
Aims for next season
Keep hold of as many titles as possible.
Congrats Almondo! All that hard work finally paid off!
well done Almondo on completing the challenge.
cheers guys
Just as matter of interest how many feeder clubs do people have, i've just managed to get 2 in just over a month bringing my total up to 13, none of which are a commercial link.
I have 3. 2 for Work permit purposes and Tamworth for youth players to get experience.
My better young players are refusing to go to huddersfield on loan now and they are in the championship and only the very worst will go to Billericay in League 2.
I have 3 wp clubs, 3 english clubs (the 2 above and championship stoke) and various others from around the world.
Congrats everyone
I've been giving the challenge a go. Was going to post some updates but a crash wiped all my screenshots. I'd backed up my game in a fit of paranoia though so I've been able to continue playing at least.
I was wondering if anyone had any stadia/finance advice?
I've gotten Retford promoted to L1, and survived the first season there, but mid way through my second season in L1 and things are looking grim. I'm around 200k in the red, have no transfer budget (well technically I had £8!) and my small wage budget is maxed out. I'm getting sell outs almost every match. And if I don't sell out I get at least 1900, which out of a max of 2000 isn't bad. It's not enough to bring money in though.
I can't get planning permission, ever apparently, so it looks like I'm stuck with the stadium as it is until the board splash out or I somehow make some money. Any words of wisdom or should I look brace myself for financial ruin and relegation in the coming season?
Methyr Tydfil Premiership 2033/34
FA Cup - Winners
League Cup - 3rd Rd
Cl - 1st Knockout Rd
World Club Championship - Runners Up
After last seasons poor league effort i was looking to get back into title contention, however morale was so poor i was fighting relegation instead. I agreed to sel De La Fuente at the end of Nov and my league form picked up winning 18 of 25 games with only 3 losses to reach 4th place. A last day loss to Newcastle cost my CL football for next season.
In the Cups i progressed to the final only facing 1 prem club in Man City, in the final i faced championship West Ham winning 2-1.
In the league cup i lost 2-1 to Aston Villa.
I lost on penalties to Sao Paolo in the WCC in the final.
In the CL i faced Bayern Munich and after a 0-0 first leg the tie went into extra time with no goals before Bayern got their revenge for last seasons final loss. Sergio and Francisco were badly missed.
My finances are in a poor state with only 10 million in the bank by the end of the season, the chairman has loaned the club 37 million to improve things. Most of the problems are caused by the 26000 stadium which i am filling so this news was good. Its not as big as i was hoping but i may be able to expand it and the debt won't be too big.
This season was about moving some young players on and bringing in others.
The only exceptions to this were De La Fuente (history) leaving and Bianchi (history) being let go. My midfield is crowded with so many players so Vara and Donoso were sold.
Meira was never near the first team nor was Stein. Stein was bought for 5k and became an u19 player before being sold after 4 years for 2 million .
I had high hopes for Mettlen when i bought him but he never quite progressed.
Coming in were 2 players who surprised me, Williams had only just come into Bristol City's U18 team and i signed him as he was on a youth contract. He made a lot of appearances as my backup right midfielder and did well. Robertson was signed 18 months ago for 110k in order to make some money on and was rated at decent championship standard and good prem potential. When he came in dec he was good prem standard and leading prem potential, by the end of the season he had played a few games and was leading prem standard.
A lot of the players have good ratings due to their exceptional form after xmas. Hadland and Hernandez were an exception to this and are likely to be leaving.
As usual Aslan was a class act all season.
Up front Sergio and Marini formed a deadly partnership, Marini became a wonderkid.
Star Player - could have Aslan for the 3rd year running but with such a great goal haul Sergio just edges it.
Code:Career so far: Season League Position Achievements -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square South 3rd Promoted via playoffs 2011/12 Blue Square Premier 9th None 2012/13 Blue Square Premier 2nd Promoted via playoffs 2013/14 League 2 15th None 2014/15 League 2 13th JPT Winners 2015/16 League 2 5th Promoted via playoffs 2016/17 League 1 13th None 2017/18 League 1 14th None 2018/19 League 1 12th None 2019/20 League 1 15th None 2020/21 League 1 14th None 2021/22 League 1 1st JPT Winners,Champions 2022/23 Championship 16th None 2023/24 Championship 8th None 2024/25 Championship 10th None 2025/26 Championship 6th Playoff semi-finalists 2026/27 Championship 6th Promoted via Playoffs 2027/28 Premiership 15th None 2028/29 Premiership 14th FA Cup Winners 2029/30 Premiership 12th None 2030/31 Premiership 4th None 2031/32 Premiership 1st Premiership Winners 2032/33 Premiership 10th CL Winners ----------------------------Challenge Complete-------------------------------------------- 2033/34 Premiership 5th FA Cup Winners
Last edited by Thebaker; 27-03-2010 at 15:54.
Tooting & Mitcham United FC - Barclays Premier League - 2045/46
With the title won last year with the all-T&M squad, the Champions League was our aim this year.
League Table
League Positions Graph
Things were pretty straightforward as we almost led from start to finish.
Community Shield - a goal from the new boy got our season off to a great start.
Carling Cup - a mixed team was put out and they lost in their first match.
FA Cup - the highlight of the run was the comeback against Burnley, but we went on to win the cup with a penalty win over Manchester United.
UEFA Champions League - the group stage was easy enough, but our first two games in the knockout rounds were far from that. The semi final was a bit of a relief but the final did not go to plan.
Squad - we are still weak on the wings but with strength everywhere else this team is capable of winning the big one, one day.
Key Player Profiles:
Paul Moran - he was our top scorer but I'm sure there is more to come from him.
Andy Greenhouse - goals from midefield is something we have lacked in recent years, he already looks like an important player for us.
Billy Brazil - I'm still not convinced whether to play him AMC or ST, but he's looking decent in both.
George Fry - solid at the back.
Stuart Talbot - the second striker had a decent season.
Career OverviewNext SeasonCode:Season League Position Achievements ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square South 5th Promoted via playoffs 2011/12 Blue Square Premier 8th 2012/13 Blue Square Premier 2nd Promoted via playoffs, FA Trophy finalists 2013/14 Coca-Cola League 2 6th Lost in playoff final 2014/15 Coca-Cola League 2 1st Promoted as champions 2015/16 Coca-Cola League 1 4th Promoted via playoffs, JPT finalists 2016/17 Coca-Cola Championship 9th 2017/18 Coca-Cola Championship 6th Lost in playoff semi 2018/19 Coca-Cola Championship 4th Promoted via playoffs 2019/20 Barclays Premier League 16th 2020/21 Barclays Premier League 11th 2021/22 Barclays Premier League 3rd FA Cup finalists 2022/23 Barclays Premier League 7th Carling Cup finalists, FA Cup winners 2023/24 Barclays Premier League 3rd 2024/25 Barclays Premier League 5th Champions League finalists 2025/26 Barclays Premier League 3rd Carling Cup finalists 2026/27 Barclays Premier League 2nd 2027/28 Barclays Premier League 1st Premier League and Champions League winners 2028/29 Barclays Premier League 1st PL, CL and CWC winners, Carling Cup finalists 2029/30 Barclays Premier League 1st PL, CL, CWC, FA Cup and Carling Cup winners 2030/31 Barclays Premier League 1st PL, CL, CWC, and Carling Cup winners 2031/32 Barclays Premier League 3rd Club World Cup winners 2032/33 Barclays Premier League 2nd FA and Carling Cup winners 2033/34 Barclays Premier League 1st PL, CL and Carling Cup winners 2034/35 Barclays Premier League 1st PL, CWC FA and Carling Cup winners 2035/36 Barclays Premier League 1st PL, CL, FA Cup and Carling Cup winners 2036/37 Barclays Premier League 1st Premier League and Club World Cup winners 2037/38 Barclays Premier League 1st Premier League and Champions League winners 2038/39 Barclays Premier League 1st Premier League and Club World Cup winners 2039/40 Barclays Premier League 1st Premier League winners and FA Cup finalists 2040/41 Barclays Premier League 1st Premier League and Carling Cup winners, Champions league finalists 2041/42 Barclays Premier League 3rd FA Cup and Champions League winners 2042/43 Barclays Premier League 5th Club World Cup winners 2043/44 Barclays Premier League 2nd Carling Cup and Europa League winners 2044/45 Barclays Premier League 1st Premier League winners and Carling Cup finalists 2045/46 Barclays Premier League 1st Premier League and FA Cup winners, Champions League finalists
The Champions League is our main aim once again, it was gutting to lose it sfater reaching teh final this year.
Ouch losing to city like that Daf
Also my Brazillian managerial career got off to a good start. I took over after they were eliminated from the Confederations cup with a game against Senegal to go. We beat Senegal 2-0 and then moved onto a friendly against Holland which was a walkover with us running out 4-0 winners. I will have screenies with my next season update.
Last edited by Almondo; 28-03-2010 at 00:06.
present for you
Big thanks, mate
Update tonight.
Again, I owe you one
(I'll probably get a RS premium acc in the following days, should I send you a pm (username / pass) if you're interested?)
el sid - Canvey Island - 2013/2014
Squad Stats
Media Prediction - 24th
League Table
Loads of new signings, as I looked for that much needed quality in the team to stay in the top half of the Championship. We hit a good run of form in March-April, meaning we sneaked into a playoff spot
Semifinal First leg
Semifinal Second leg - What a game
I love playoffs!
League Cup - Lost on penalties to Yeovil in the 1st round
FA Cup - Knocked out by Middlesbrough in the 4th round
Key Players :
Daniel Saez - Absolutely fantastic player, bought for 230k and has some big clubs from Europe chasing him now
Juan Jose Gamboa - Best player in the team and the most expensive purchase by miles. Scored vital goals in the playoffs.
Daniele Colombo - On loan player, and did a good job
Eric Nys - Another player that has many clubs chasing him, very good at the back
Rhys Taylor - Signed on a free from Chelsea, and saved me on more than one occasion, fantastic keeper, although his ratings might not reflect this
Code:Season Division Position Achievements --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square South 5th Promoted via Playoffs 2011/12 Blue Square Premier 1st Promoted - FA Trophy winners 2012/13 Coco-Cola League 2 2nd Promoted 2013/14 Coco-Cola League 1 6th Promoted via Playoffs 2014/15 Coco-Cola Championship 5th Promoted via Playoffs
Last edited by el sid; 28-03-2010 at 15:27.
My 'adequate youth facilities' just gave me this player
My start to League Two and professional football is going well. 8 games in and I'm top with 19 points. 22 goals scored too!
Season 1 - 2010/2011 - Blue Square North
Preseason / Media Prediction: 21st / 1st report
After an unsuccesful start with Hednesford and jordanswinburn's free time and good will, I'm starting a new season with Farnborough Football Club. Promoted from Southern League Premier, The Boro' players and staff were my first choice. Our home ground is known as Cherrywood Road, based in Farnborough, Hampshire. It has a capacity of 4400 (622 seated).
At first, our best player had most of the technical abilites at max. 2 or 3. Not to mention that the only staff in the club was the chairman, Mr. Keegan and me, the newly appointed manager. The media are predicting relegation and 21st place (22 clubs) and my first thing I will have to adress will be appointing my new assistant manager. After that, it will all be easier. I expect at least ten new faces in a month time.
Our players are not capable of staying in the league at the moment so I will have to bring new players on almost every position. I will keep you posted with the transfers.
How does my striker score 8 goals in 4 games with an average rating of 9.32 and NOT win player of the month??!!??!!
A centre back with 4 games at 8.13 did!
No idea,
I'm too lazy to do the updates some of you lot do, so I'll give you all a heads up.
First season in League1 - currently 5th, performing FAR better than I expected, though scoring goals is a big issue. Only got 49 goals in 37 games, but luckily for me I dont concede many and get a fair few 1-0's
Achieved my aim of staying up, so I want to try to stay in a playoff spot, but if not thats fine, I need to build a bit more of a creative side. I think sometimes not going up straight away can be of benefit
Just won the Club World Cup with Boston.
nice one roseboy. hope I can emulate that with our Pilgrims.
FC United of Manchester
Season 9 - 2018/19 - Premier League
Preseason - Media Prediction: 6th
The Special One?
Club Info
This was the big one. After last years success. The pressure was on. Although the media only predicted 6th, and the board 4th. I wanted what the fans wanted. More. Title challenge was the only option low enough for me to consider. I also wanted the League Cup again, and this time the FA Cup. Champions League Knockouts were also on my to do list. The board, once again showing their amazing financial abilities, gave me £45m to spend... when we only had £30m in the bank.
Before all this though, there is something that takes priority at FC United. The Manchester Evening News Cup.
The teams included two Manchester teams, FC United and Man City. And as part of the new customs of the cup, two guest teams. This years guest teams were Real Madrid and Atletico Madrid. This is how things went.
FC United v Atletico Madrid | FC United v Man City
Manchester Evening News Cup Results
The preseason tournament didn't end on the high I'd hoped. But now came the important things. First off came our shot at our first real silverware, to some extent anyway, of the season.
Man City v FC United
Community Shield
Premier League
We went into the start of the season on a high. But we were quickly brought back down to earth after a loss to Newcastle. Wins against Everton and Spurs followed, before we crashed to a 4-2 defeat at Old Trafford. Another win followed against Burnley, and then came our first Champions League game to Benfica in the groups. A reality check came when they trashed us 3-1. This defeat hurt. But it seemed to do wonders...
Following the Benfica defeat, we beat Hull 8-0, Middlesbrough 4-0, Birmingham 2-0 and Roma 3-0. This triggered that FC United passion, which we have seen throughout the years. The results just came and came. 6-2 against Liverpool, 3-0 against Man City, 5-3 against Spurs, 6-1 against Boro. The wins came in huge numbers. 5 draws all season, with 6 'blips' all season. This is how it ended.
Premier League Table | Position Chart
League Cup
No matter what. I wanted this again. Losing just wasn't on. Our journey didn't leave the North. We either faced North East teams or North West teams.
League Cup 3rd Round | League Cup 4th Round | League Cup Quarter Final
League Cup Semi Final Leg 1 | League Cup Semi Final Leg 2
League Cup Final
FA Cup
After winning the League Cup again, I wanted the cup that evaded us last year.
FA Cup 3rd Round | FA Cup 4th Round | FA Cup 5th Round
FA Cup Quarter Final | FA Cup Semi Final
FA Cup Final
That win felt good. We beat our most fierce rivals, and the team that knocked us out last year, in the final.
Champions League
Our first year in the Champions League. And I wanted to get to the 1st Round at least. We came in the group stages, and got a group of Benfica, Roma and Panathinaikos.
Group Stages
Benfica v FC United | FC United v Roma | FC United v Panathinaikos
Panathinaikos v FC United | FC United v Benfica | Roma v FC United
Group Table
The groups went better than I expected. We came out top, when I was expecting 2nd. And we got some pretty good results in the process.
1st Round
After our good group run, my hopes faded when we drew Lyon in the 1st round. Our first game took place at OL Land.
Lyon v FC United | FC United v Lyon
A shock victory. I never expected a win. We just scraped through, but it was enough. Into the Quarters we went.
Quarter Finals
In the quarters, we drew Aston Villa, who are now a very hard team to face, but we'd beaten them the last two times we played them. We faced them at home first. I was feeling confident.
FC United v Aston Villa | Aston Villa v FC United
We got the win, only just, again... We managed to hold them off in the second leg. Into the Semis.
Semi Finals
Now it got really difficult. The teams in the Semis were us, Valencia, Bayern Munich and Man City...
We got Man City.
Just like the Lyon draw, my hopes faded. I knew how hard Man City could be, and the results they were capable of. The only thing that kept my hopes up, was the fact we'd played them 4 times already this season, and we won 3 of them. Two quite comfortably. The first leg was at our place.
FC United v Man City | Man City v FC United
The most tense, heart-pounding 2nd leg I have ever encountered. After drawing the match at home, I didn't expect much. I was just glad we didn't concede and away goal. When they went 2-0 up, my heart just sank. I thought it was over. Then Marco Ferrari scored in the 68th minute, I gained a glimmer of hope. The minutes passed by though, and no goals came. I just felt gutted. Injury time came, and I just didn't look, I couldn't. I looked back, and the words I saw... "Goal for FC United!"... I had to rub my eyes in disbelief. Marco Ferrari scored again, in the 94th minute. And the whistle blew. We had done it, I have no idea how, but we did. We were in the Final.
Champions League Final
We had done it, we were in the Final. The only team standing in the way of FC United and glory, quite oddly, were Bayern Munich.
FC United v Bayern Munich
Champions League Final
We... had... done... it.
The team that had continuously been the surprise team, shocked the world once again.
Post-Season & Misc
Transfers | Squad
Confidence | Finances
Stadium Expansion Plans
Manager of the Season
Jordan Swinburn
The Millward Player Choice Award (Manager's Player of the Year)
Riad Belkheir
Riad played 56 games this season, scoring 40 goals. Top scorer in our squad by about 20. He also got Goal of the Season in the league, but missed out on Top Goalscorer in the league by 1 goal, Ransford Osei got 26, Riad got 25, and would have won on appearances. A great season from the Algerian. It's worth saying Marco Ferrari would have been a contender for this, had he not won last years.
Fan's Player of the Year
Riad Belkheir
That's it. Challenge complete. But the story has only just begun. The Super Cup is to come, the Club World Championship and my national management career, which has started with Brazil! Plus... I have to defend my championships. Updates will continue to come.
Career Overview
Code:Season League League Finish Achievements ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 2010/11 Blue Square North 5th Promoted - Playoffs 2011/12 Blue Square Premier 15th 2012/13 Blue Square Premier 1st Promoted - Champions 2013/14 League Two 6th Promoted Playoffs 2014/15 League One 1st Promoted - Champions 2015/16 Championship 5th Promoted - Playoffs 2016/17 Premier League 11th 2017/18 Premier League 1st League Champions. League Cup Winners. 2018/19 Premier League 1st League Champions. League Cup Winners. FA Cup Winners. Champions League Winners
Also, have let a few staff go in the last few months of the season as they were to become managers at clubs so let them go. The improved capacity has improved finances and I'm getting regular appearances over 41k since.
Nice one Jordan on completion. I know what you mean about letting staff go. I had an ex player on the backroom staff who wanted to manage spurs so I let him go. I also have the current and former England managers on my backroom staff. The England manager is called Nabil Sharif and his predecessor is Michael Mancienne.
Been away for a while with work and other commitments, but now I find myself with time on my hands, thought I would try and get back in to FM2010. So, the task is set, and the (not so) mighty Boreham Wood have been chosen!
Good job Jordan, one of the quickest completions thus far I think!
Edit: A small update on my Tiverton progress, with 8 games to go it's equally likely that I'll win League Two as slip out of the play-offs altogether, brilliantly close-run thing right now!
Last edited by SnakeXe; 30-03-2010 at 09:32.
SnakeXe's Tiverton Town - Season 3 - 2012/13
Story of the Season:
So, would Tiverton's first season as a professional club in the Football League be another barnstorming triumph like the previous two in non-league? Or would they be sent back with their tail between their legs?
The answer, surprisingly, was both! We were an absolute Jekyll and Hyde team this year, either demolishing teams by 5 or 6 goals or losing by 3 or 4 in big streaks across the season. With 8 games left we were just 3 points off top spot, but the clubs below were also ominously close, so it could have gone either way really.
As it was, our form collapsed and we won just twice more that season - crucially in the last game against Accrington to at least secure ourselves a playoff spot. Luckily that last win wasn't a fluke, it was a 3-0 hammering as a result of some tactical tinkering, so we headed into the playoffs with slightly more confidence than we might otherwise had done.
Port Vale were up in the semi-final, with the away leg first. Disaster struck in the opening minutes, as our familiar defensive fragility was exploited with their first attack of the game - 1-0 to Port Vale.
From then on we got ourselves back into the match, but couldn't find the crucial equaliser - until the one and only Jabuti popped up in the last 10 minutes with a cool finish to give us a slight advantage heading into the home leg. Game on!
I was quietly confident that our excellent home form would see us through to the final - and two early goals supported that notion, putting us firmly in control of the tie. Port Vale came back into the match much the same as we had in the first leg, but even one goal back was beyond them, and it ended 3-1 on aggregate!
The final saw us take on Shrewsbury, who had finished above us in the table and had demolised Crewe 6-1 in their semi-final. I was expecting a tough fight, and if I'm honest, that we'd be spending another season in League Two - not such a bad thing considering our rapid rise.
The early exchanges went Shrewsbury's way as expected, but we started to get chances of our own as the first half wore on. The finishing was poor on both sides' accounts, and it was no surprise that 0-0 was on the scoreboards at the break.
The second half progressed in much the same fashion, and I was getting nervous. Our keeper was undoubtedly inferior to theirs, and we had missed several penalties across the season, so we had to win it in the 90 (or 120) minutes. The minutes ticked past, until just after the 90th minute had ticked past we won a corner.
"Everyone forward!" I shouted at the players, as the pair of neanderthal-a-like centre halves trotted forward, gurning back at me as if to say "deeerp!".
The ball came across from Michael Noone's cultured right boot.
Everyone held their breath.
Aarran Racine rose to meet it at the far post.
He connected.
It was on target.
The keeper dived.
And we were up again
As for the cups, we pulled off a couple of giant-killings, taking out Championship Leicester City in the League Cup, before falling to Middlesbrough, and seeing off League One Bristol Rovers in the Johnstone's Paint Trophy. FA Cup was pretty rancid.
I continued my streak of Manager of the Year wins, but Jabuti couldn't join me in celebrating this time, although he did manage to become our record league goalscorer.
Next Season:
Well, I achieved my aim of the playoffs from last season, but it could (and maybe should) have been much better. I'll give myself more leeway this season as League One is a toughie, and aim for the top half.
5 Most Important Players:
5. Anton Peterlin MC - Less effective at this level, but still an important part of the team. Closing in on the 100 club, and will probably play at least some part next season
4. Michael Noone MRC - A much more technically gifted midfielder than had previously graced Ladysmead, his wonderful ability from a dead ball plus the odd pinpoint through-pass made him invaluable
3. Alex MacDonald AMR/ST - From being a bit-part man last year in the BSP, he became a key foil to Jabuti this season, his strength and pace making him ideal at drawing defenders and creating space
2. Aarran Racine DC - Finally found the rock at the back I was looking for, now we just need the other 3 knuckle-draggers to step up. His goal in the dying seconds of the playoff final has to go down as one of my happiest FM moments!
1. Jabuti FC - A trickier season for Tiverton's main man, but he still scores goals and still looks dangerous. I've got a decent partner coming in for him this summer, so a hatful of League One goals should be possible.
At a Glance:
League Two - 5th, Promoted through Playoffs
FA Cup - 1st Round Replay (lost v Southend)
League Cup - 2nd Round (lost v Middlesbrough)
Johnstone's Paint Trophy - Southern Quarter Final (lost v Coventry)
Transfers - Lost £6k
Tiverton 100 Club:Code:Season League Pos Achievements -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2010/11 Blue Square South 1st Promoted as Champions 2011/12 Blue Square Premier 1st Promoted as Champions, FAT Runners Up 2012/13 League Two 5th Promoted through Playoffs
Code:Name Position Era Apps Goals Ave. Rating ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jabuti FC 2010-Present 139 127 7.56 Craig Gray AML 2010-Present 111 6 7.10 Kyle Letheren GK 2010-Present 109 0 6.84 Kevin Little AMRLC 2010-Present 101 13 6.93
Last edited by SnakeXe; 31-03-2010 at 12:54.
Yay Snake! Jabuti does it again
My 2nd season should be up soon.
Stupid question probably, but where do you find the 100 club thing. Or is it a case of searching through every player?
Last edited by SnakeXe; 30-03-2010 at 16:51.
You won't need to if they are no longer in Tiverton Unless you're doing some sort of "Where are they now" section.
Maidstone Season 8 Update 2017/18 - League 2
Position - 1st
League Table
League Positions
A much easier season than expected. I absolutely smashed the league to pieces dominating from start to finish. This was helped by the fact I had built up a pretty decent squad over the last few seasons and was finally able to get some decent players in on loan. I had a couple strikers who banged in a hat-full of goals and played a very attacking formation in every game.
Star Player: Roberto - On loan striker from Reading.
Transfer History
Manager Profile
Manager Personal
Manager Information
Career Overview:
Code:League Season Finished Achievements ------------------------------------------------ BSS 2010/11 19th BSS 2011/12 19th BSS 2012/13 15th BSS 2013/14 10th BSS 2014/15 5th Playoff Winners BSP 2015/16 10th BSP 2016/17 1st FA Trophy League 2 2017/18 1st
Ok another update done....
Maidstone Season 9 Update 2018/19 - League 1
Position - 1st
League Table
League Positions
Wow another consecutive promotion \o/ I think the signing of my star player was massive, I found him on a free and he was willing to come, he was probably the best striker in the league and was an absolute steal. I also picked up a couple ageing players which gave my squad some good experience that was needed, I think they key to my success is spending all season scouting and building a shortlist for the upcoming summer. The ability to scout in France and loan better quality players has proved to be useful again
I was also named a Maidstone legend and even better news the board annouce a new stadium was to be constructed and completed in 2 years time.
Star Player: Luis Alexandre
Transfer History
Manager Profile
Manager Personal
Career Overview:
Code:League Season Finished Achievements ------------------------------------------------ BSS 2010/11 19th BSS 2011/12 19th BSS 2012/13 15th BSS 2013/14 10th BSS 2014/15 5th Playoff Winners BSP 2015/16 10th BSP 2016/17 1st FA Trophy League 2 2017/18 1st League 1 2018/19 1st
Great job on the promotion and new stadium mag man
I have another season update to do but I am doing them at work so probably wont get the next in until tomorrow.
wp on the 3 consecutive 1st places mag man
In my 4th season and despite having won 2 promotions and been to the playoffs in the other season and I have, only now, finally managed to win my first manager of the month!
1st season back in League 1 after being relegated last time, and we're promoted, think this is the best I've ever felt playing FM. Update tomorrow.


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Is Your Family Ready for a Dog?
4 of 11
Can you afford a dog?
The expense of owning a dog entails more than just the cost of food and toys. You also need to pay for yearly vaccinations, annual checkups, heartworm medication, flea and tick medication, microchipping, licensing, spaying or neutering...the list goes on and on. Considering that many dogs live to be at least 10 years old, if not older, the expenses can really add up! According to the Wall Street Journal, the average cost of a dog over it's lifetime can range anywhere from $12,000 to $23,000.
And remember, the bigger the dog, the bigger the bills. No wonder some people compare owning a pet to having a child!
Next: Are you patient enough?


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Men's Brooks Glycerin 9 Running Shoes
Buy Online & Pick Up In-Store
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You've upgraded to a smart phone, now upgrade to smart running shoes with the Brooks Glycerin 9 Running Shoes.
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6 Wacky Misunderstandings at the Scene of Grisly Crimes
#3. The Showering Murderer
The Scene:
When a long-haired and bearded man walked into Alexandria's Racquetball Plus Fitness Center dripping with blood, it didn't take long for the police to be called to the scene. The center's employees were terrified -- the man had simply strolled right in and headed straight for the showers, presumably to rinse the sweet taste of an ax murder off his body.
"Do you have Dr. Bronner's?"
A SWAT team surrounded the club and officers were sent in to question the staff, who were likely finding all sorts of different ways to say the phrase "Sweet tapdancing Jesus, that man is covered in blood."
Wait, what?
It turned out it actually was sweet tapdancing Jesus. Local man Lee Backhaus had just played Jesus in Zion Lutheran Church's annual Easter Passion Drama, and had simply needed to wash away the fake blood he had accumulated after a hard day of hitting the stations.
This whole situation just screams "light beer ad."
It turned out that Backhaus was not only a card-carrying member of the club, but had actually warned the club's staff well in advance that he'd be there that day, bloody and terrifying, to use the club's showers. The staff had simply forgotten, presumably having been trained by the London Police (see Pg. 1). Though to be fair, that would be an awesome way to get away with a murder. Plan it for right after your passion play, then stroll right to the showers and wash the DNA away. "Don't worry, everybody! It's just me, Jesus, washing off the fake blood from my crown of thorns and this here chainsaw."
#2. The Police Pizza Party
The Scene:
When police officers in Hertford, U.K., arrived on the scene where it was suspected that three gangsters were torturing and holding a man hostage, they had a surprise in store for them. Word on the street was that the local drug kingpin, known only as "CJ," had sent his cronies over to the man's house to convince him to stop moving in on CJ's turf. But when the officers entered the home, it was empty -- not a drug-trafficking soul in sight.
"That's right, sir. The only evidence of torture we've found is an abnormally large Coldplay collection."
Then, in a scene straight out of a sitcom, the doorbell rang and a Domino's Pizza delivery man stood in the doorway, seemingly as the result of a mistaken address.
"Sure, take the pizza. Just, uh, don't check my pockets."
The cops knew a good opportunity when they saw one, offering to buy the pizza from the guy at a reduced rate. Everyone was happy -- the delivery man got a tip, the cops got a killer deal and, in celebration, proceeded to hold an all out pizza party. Problem was, it wasn't just pizza they were eating.
Wait, what?
As it turns out, there had been three gangsters torturing a man just before the cops arrived -- three gangsters who had ordered a pizza.
Central News
This, seriously, is one of those gangsters, who looks like he could eat the shit out of some pizza.
The victim had escaped through a window when the gangsters weren't looking, which at least proves that the cops weren't the only ones dabbling in incompetence that day. The gangsters fled, presumably to either try and catch him or to vacate the premises before the authorities were called. The police arrived and were then followed by the delivery man; all of them presumably acting under the direction of a metaphysical improv comedy act.
Eventually, when the gangsters were apprehended and the pizza partying police officers were called in to testify, the lead prosecutor on the case was actually forced to utter the words "... it came to light that the officers had eaten the evidence," constituting perhaps the most shameful sentence ever spoken in investigative history.
"And we pay you people?"
#1. The CSI Surprise
The Scene:
Kay Fab of Vienna, Virginia pulled up one night to the sight of yellow crime scene tape wrapped around her home. Strewn about in the shadows were a severed arm, a foot and some kind of weapon. Looking to the house, she saw human forms hovering in the windows. When she noticed the dark figure of a man lurking in the back of the garage, she came to the reasonable conclusion that she should probably jump back in her car and drive to the nearest police station.
Via MyFox
"Nope, nothing amiss h- hey, wait a second! That card had a "2" on it when I left!"
When she returned to the scene, police officer in tow, a man came running out of the house. All the lights clicked on, and a bunch of people screamed, "Surprise!"
Wait, what?
In yet another example of faux-CSI fuckery, the night in question was Kay Fab's birthday, and Kay just so happened to be a CSI super fan. So her husband, Joe Fab, decided to throw her a CSI surprise party so terrifyingly realistic that it's amazing the cop didn't spray him with bullets when he came running out of the garage.
"Don't shoot! We have ice cream!"
But that was not the case. Kay and Joe Fab (who sound like a 90s pop duo recently reunited on VH1) apologized to the police for wasting their time, and promptly got down and partied hard all night. In the morning, Kay went straight to the police station with a huge box of donuts just to make amends, because if you want to apologize to the police, you give them donuts without an ounce of irony.
J.E. Harrington is a freelance writer. Check out his blog or follow him on Twitter.
For more stories of public servant stupidity, check out The 6 Most Retarded Police Standoffs of All Time and 5 Horrifying Tales Of 911 Incompetence.


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5 Things We Are Making Fatter (In Addition to Ourselves)
#2. You're Making the Earth Fat
Contrary to what every teacher you've ever had told you, the earth isn't round: It's an oblate spheroid. In normal people terms, that means it's actually shaped more like a pumpkin than a basketball. But how close it is to looking like one or the other fluctuates; amazingly, the Earth can (and has) actually changed its overall shape several times in accordance with the global climate.
The Earth at her sexy best in the late 1980s: God, look at the way those continents jiggle when she orbits.
Since the last major Ice Age, the Earth has been getting progressively rounder. In 1998, that pattern flip-flopped and the planet started getting bigger around the middle. Like, significantly wider in the anthropomorphized "gut" region. According to one study, a "mysterious equatorial bulge" has emerged. The Earth itself is getting fatter. And it's our fault: The ice caps and mountain glaciers are melting, raising the sea level and therefore increasing the planet's girth around the equator. This redistributed weight changes the actual shape of the globe.
Earth after seriously letting herself go. God, look at that disgusting fatass.
Now before you go saying that it's not our bad habits and binge-eating that's causing the world to overheat, you should shut up, because it is. Many experts have proven that at least part of the global warming issue could be solved if we would all just lose a few pounds. By staying fat we consume more food, which means more land needs to be turned over to producing it, and we take more gas to get us around, increasing oil use and air pollution.
You're so fucking fat you're killing your grandchildren.
#1. You're Making Jesus Fat
Earlier this year, a study of 52 images of the Last Supper was published in the International Journal of Obesity (good lord, how far have we fallen as a people, when we need actual peer reviewed publications devoted to the study of our gigantic asses?). The authors of the study wanted to find out if lifestyle changes in the general population affected the amount of food served in paintings of the Last Supper. It turns out that over the course of 1000 years, the size of the meal served increased by 70 percent. Since the Gospels only mention bread and wine being served, anything else on that table (and the amount) is purely left to the artist's imagination, which usually reflected the standard of the time.
Starting in 1308, we can see what a meager meal Jesus and his disciples had to split between themselves, with just some bread rolls and... some kind of pig fetus?
Gross, Jesus.
But the spirit is intact here; it is a modest meal by any standards. Now, by the 1400s, each of the 13 men are at least getting a decent portion, even if they end up having to swing by Arby's on the way home because they didn't want to look like pigs in front of The Christ.
But by the late 1500s, we've got an orgy of food: So much that one table simply cannot hold it all. Now we've even got serving wenches passing out bowls of nuts with one hand while doing the wash with the other, because old-timey bitches knew how to multi-task.
Society's changing perception of what is normal allowed the artists to get away with slowly morphing Jesus Christ from a humble, starving carpenter into a hedonist feasting with his entourage while groupies handle his nuts. If the Last Supper was a popular subject today, you'd barely be able to see Simon behind the buckets of chicken, Paul would be horking back a Double Down and Judas would be double-dipping egg-rolls in the ranch sauce.
Because he's History's greatest monster, that's why.
For more of Kathy's work, check out 7 Secrets Only Two Living People Know (For Some Reason) and The 6 Stupidest Things Ever Done With Historic Treasures.


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WEST LIBERTY - It was a bit nippy on the hilltop Thursday. But it wasn't enough to cool off Cambridge's rackets.
The Bobcats, behind twin brothers Cody and Connor Engstrom, claimed their first boys' title since 2007 as the OVAC Tennis Championships concluded at West Liberty University's Edgar Martin Tennis Complex.
Cambridge finished what it started Tuesday when it led after the doubles round.
Article Photos
RETURNING A SHOT — Oak Glen's Madison Juszczak, shown in a match earlier in the season, finished second at No. 4 singles in the Ohio Valley Athletic Conference?Tournament.
-- Mike Mathison
''I'm very pleased,'' Bobcats coach Mike Denniston said. ''They played hard and well and played with class and good sportsmanship.
''We knew it would be a tough tournament ... it always is. We're just pleased to come out on top.''
The Bobcats finished with 20 points to claim the overall and Class 5A crowns. University followed with 16 and Morgantown had 15. Parkersburg South scored 12 points, followed by Brooke (11), Wheeling Park (8), John Marshall (6), Wheeling Central and East Liverpool (4), Linsly, Madonna and Indian Creek (2), and Steubenville and Weir (1). Oak Glen didn't score.
Wheeling Central and East Liverpool tied for the Class 4A-1A crown. Tournament Director George Frazier said after going through all of the tiebreaker scenarios both teams remain deadlocked. Therefore, both teams will receive a trophy and be invited to the OVAC Banquet of Champions (May 13) where they will pick up their banners.
It was a banner day for the Engstroms, who also teamed up to win the No. 1 Doubles crown Tuesday.
Cody Engstrom jumped out to an early lead against John Marshall's Hayden Blazer in the No. 1 Singles final and held on for an 8-5 victory.
Connor Engstrom defeated Parkersburg South's Grant Tebay, 8-6, in the No. 3 Singles final.
The Hawks and Mohigans split their two championship showdowns.
Morgantown's Steven Wu defeated University's Sven Wermuth, 8-1, at No. 2, while the Hawks' Alex Gutierrez disposed of the Mohigans' Daniel Pan, 8-6.
The girls singles championship was held Wednesday at the Wheeling Park Bubble due to the rain.
Oak Glen's Madison Juszczak, the No. 2 seed at No. 4 singles, dropped an 8-0 decision to University's Meghan Zerkel in the final.
Juszczak received a bye in the first round, defeated Wheeling Park's Angie Counselman 8-3 in the second round and blanked Morgantown's Michelle Joseph in the semifinal 8-0.
Linsly captured the Class 4A-1A crown. The Cadets finished tied with Oak Glen in points, but won on the final tiebreaker - the team that has its No. 1 Doubles duo advance furthest.
The Hawks accumulated 24 points, followed by Morgantown with 20 and Parkersburg South with 13. Linsly and Oak Glen had 11, followed by Wheeling Park with eight, John Marshall and St. Clairsville with four, Madonna and Wheeling Central with three, Brooke with two and Indian Creek one. Weir didn't score.
The Golden Bears Abbi Sayre reached the semis at No. 3 singles.
Indian Creek's Jessica Furda and St. Clairsville's Alex Trouten were named the recipients of the Carol Strasser Sportsmanship Award. All coaches submit a nominee for the honor and a winner is drawn from that group.


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Question: What is an appropriate English response to reply when someone nearby sneezes?
Background: I am American by birth, and was raised to respond 'God Bless You' when someone sneezes -- though I often shorten this to simply 'Bless You'. Once, while on Wall Street as a consultant, I replied 'Bless You' and my boss turned to me & said "they don't say that here." At the time I was a bit taken aback, but now as a graduate student, surrounded by non-native English speakers, I can appreciate the contextual / cultural subtlety of my response -- (e.g. this question/responses ).
Being German by heritage, "gesundheit" works, but requires a multilingual explanation to my colleagues. I have tried to switch to 'Good Health', but I find this so awkward that it often stumbles out as 'God Health'... Shortening this to 'Health' feels equally clunky.
So... Language Experts! What are your thoughts? What is a reasonable, English, response to reply when someone sneezes?


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I have a series of stored procedures that select data from a db. I have a role (cctc_reader) that has execute permissions granted on the procedures. One of the procedure calls another stored procedure called
recControl_system_option which in turn queries
The problem is that in this proc the query
select column_name from information_schema.columns where table_name = 'recControl_manager'
does not return any records. cctc_reader has grant permissions on:
- each select proc
so in theory this should work. I have no problems when run under dbo.
If I grant db_datareader to cctc_reader the query is fine, but I don't want to grant reader permissions to all tables (hence why I used stored procs). I've tried granting Select permissions on Information_schema in the Master db as suggested in some articles, but still can't get this to work.
Any suggestions?