text:
Yeah I imagine you must have a half decent squad for that wage. I have a few decent players but my back-ups are really woeful.
Yeah I imagine you must have a half decent squad for that wage. I have a few decent players but my back-ups are really woeful.
Having had a look at my squad and seen who I'd like to keep, I reckon I can cut about £1k off of it at the moment. I'm going to arrange some friendlies to boost my current finances of £77k. I won't be posting my starting thing this time, can't be bothered.
I have managed to get the board to look at giving me a parent club. Mon them finding me someone who's willing to pay £100k a season. Also arranged loads of friendlies, so hopefully, if all goes to plan I could have about £250k by the end of pre-season.
Just a little update on things from me
Youth Recruitment has been upgraded!!! This will be usefull for when March comes round (currently 29th December).
FA Cup, i was kicked out at the first hurdle...
FA Trophy, i'm into the second round, but i've been paired with the best team in the competition, 1st place in the Blue Square Premier (Wrexham)...
League, i'm currently 4 points clear in 1st place...
I could have left everyone behind, but my form has taken a nose dive in recent weeks In the last 9 matches, i've won 4 (2 were FA Trophy), drawn 2 (1 was FA Trophy) and lost 3 (All in League). I've lost my last two matches in the league which, if i'd won could have put me 10 points clear!
Overall in the league, 14 wins, 3 draws and 5 losses...
Good to see people doing well
I'm three games in. After that first victory we've played extraordinarily but only one point to show for it.
We went 2-0 up against Welling only for them to equalise in injury time. Then we played Kingstonian at home and absolutely battered them but conceded on the counter and lost 1-0.
Nevertheless, morale is still good and performances are promising!
Another bad result, 0 - 0 against AFC Telford, but i'm so lucky because teams below me are messing up too!
I'm a little bit worried, and already I'm hoping to have 1 game a month postponed ....
The reason? My midfielders are knackered after only 7 games. At least my preseason went well financially. The Micky Mouse Cup (awesome name, I know :P) with Brighton, Birmingham and Bournemouth taking part, plus further home friendlies with Blackburn, Bolton, Barnsley and Brentford saw my bank balance soar to £200k. Now I've got to try and convince the board to increase my junior coaching....
I've figured out what having a large squad is for . Arranging friendlies every day for players who will be leaving at the end of the month, or when I sell them .
Kind of wish I went for money making friendlies
I'm only doing it because I have a big squad and may as well get the use out of it. The players who are staying will play the important friendlies. So ideally everyone's morale will be good for start of the season and I can charge out of the blocks.
I always have my friendlies as games that I can easily win to get my confidence through the roof.
Can't help but feel I should've been more financially aware though.
Finished Season 1. Will post an update tomorrow. Season on a whole was fine didn't leave the middle third of the table at all but the youth intake I'm very happy with. There's one player who I'm delighted with considering i thought i was going to get a load of rubbish but that's all I'm saying for now.
Cracking victory to change our fortunes and fire us into the top half of the table!
Then we followed it up with this!
Last edited by JoeBainborough; 15-03-2012 at 00:06.
parent clubs are allowed but for 10k a year i dont personally see the point
Yeah it is a small amount, but I'm £30k in the red so it could be handy
End of Season Report:
Season 2012/13
Pre-season went alright with the highlight being a 2-1 victory over League 1 side Walsall. We picked up a few injuries in that period and the squad was looking very weak but I couldn't do anything about it so just lowered the training workload and kept going.
League Table: Although the table makes it look like we struggled we didn't really. Never had a threat of relegation and at one point (early in the season after a very good run) we skirted with the play-off places.
Squad: Not a great squad. Lacked depth and quality. The best player by far was Garry Grace who was the playmaker of the team setting up most of our goals. And then just behind him was Wallace who was our only decent CB. Here's the Ass Man's report at the end of the season.
Some of you may have spotted the name Anthony Freeman YP02. This is the guy who stood out in the intake.
Youth Intake: Of course Anthony Freeman was by far the best player on show there. But the ones to look out for in the future are Simon Kidd and Gerald Bassett who both are predicted to be much better than the best player playing their position.
Anthony Freeman: OK so here you might be thinking that he's pretty average with a couple of good physical stats but that's it. Well this is the report that my assistant gave him. Now considering that I was expecting a load of rubbish to get a player that could possibly be a good League 1 player is huge. And as you can see from the Squad list he didn't disappoint getting 6 in 9 games.
One weird thing I spotted. Didn't expect to see him play there.
And finally to prove I didn't cheat: Transfers.
Good start there TWFL. Did well to survive comfortably, now hopefully the push will start next year!
Freeman looks very impressive. The assistant's report is great news as he could end up playing for you as you rise through the leagues (hopefully!). Can I ask what Judging Player Ability/Potential your assistant has?
Yeah hopefully I can push on and see where I can come next season.
Ah he has 14 JPA and 13 JPP I picked him for because of those.
That Freeman guy looks mint. If he's finishing improves a little, definitely a poacher or good poacher in the making. I probably won't have much time to play today as I have to go into work for a few hours soon.
In the FA cup second qualifying round against Met Police I decided I'd put out my second string to try keep my first team fresh. Bad idea...
Carshalton vs Met Police
I'm a little embarrassed! Oh well, we can at least focus our attention elsewhere now. It's a shame really as a few games against bigger oppositions would have been excellent financially.
Edit: Things are going well in other areas, with us on a 10 game unbeaten streak in the league!
Last edited by JoeBainborough; 15-03-2012 at 14:53.
TWFL- great season comfortably surviving relegation and i must say you have been very lucky in your youth intake. to have 5stars CA already must mean freeman is one of your best players. dont get sucked in to making him an alround striker, train those physicals until he is at least 18/19 and then concentrate on finishing. I wasnt as lucky in my youth intake unfortunately.
ri916 - when I recieve my youth intake, is it okay if post a screenshot there and then rather than waiting till the end of the season?
Joe- if you want mate
Good. I'm only in December at the minute after playing all day (finished uni for easter) but I'm just excited for my youth intake!
More to pad out the squad rather than anything else.
3 games left and we sit in the relegation places, 3 points behind 19th, looks like I'll have to start again for next season...
You can still do it Ant! Have you tried a team meeting?
I also find player interactions to be a useful way of maintaining/increasing morale - telling them whether they have been playing good or poor.
Yep, 1 player reacted well....14 reacted badly, woops!
I'm back for some more FM Should be on for a while, but i've got training later at 10.
I've been on a very poor run of form lately...
FA Trophy - Kidsgrove (Drew 0-0)
FA Trophy - Kidsgrove (Won 1-0 AET)
League - Stalybridge (Lost 3 - 2)
League - Lowestoft (Lost 1 - 0)
League - AFC Telford (Drew 0 - 0)
Struggling to score really and it has pegged me back in the league, i'm now 2nd, joint with Alfreton at the top on points, but my goal difference is lower I was 5 points clear not long ago in 1st place!
Get a team meeting and some interactions going Think I might post up a short update at Christmas, just of my current league standings and top couple of players. If that's okay of course.
It would be interesting to hear how people are approaching this challenge tactically.
Here is my tactics overview
I've chosen to opt for a solid side who are very hard to beat and try keep it tight at the back whilst exploiting our pace on the counter. This has definitely gone well so far with us having the tightest defence in the league.
League table
FC United of Manchester- 2012-2013 End of Season Report
League Table
A good season on the whole. We struggled to score goals but still managed to avoid relegation comfortably with a 15th place finish. I hope to improve slightly next season and I'm pondering on changing my tactic to a more attacking one. The team also got to th first round of the Fa cup and the 2nd round of the FA trophy which I am pleased with.
The stand out in terms of stats is Wolfenden, with 17 goals and 11 assists. Our Goalkeeper james spencer is probably the highest quality player the team has so he will be in the line up for years to come. Overall, the squad is lacking depth and a goalscorer and my youth intake has done nothing to ease my concerns over this.
Transfers - I'm clear!
Facilities - An improvement in junior coaching and some training facility improvements coming soon. hope to nag the board a bit more next season
Youth intake
A couple of bright prospects but none to set the world on fire. Joseph White is my best prospect and has been honoured with the (YP) tag, he has decent physicals and should be a first choice left back in the future.
Round up; a decent season overall and i'm glad to have not fallen at the first hurdle. The main disappointment is the lack of a goalscorer in the youth intake.
Next season: hoping to break the top half with a finish of 11th or better, but not expecting much. We will be getting better training facilities in november if we dont lose to much money and I will try and improve the junior coaching budget.
I basically try to beat teams on the counter attack, with 3 strikers up front, but I also have a steady defence aswell. 4-1-2-3
I'm really struggling a lot now, I think it's down to fitness, so i'm sending players on holiday for a short while, 4 players at a time and hopefully we can get them back and be back to winning ways soon.
joe- I'm Playing like that but the problem is there isnt any pace to expose in my team! My formation is more narrow however, as i dont have any decent wide players. instead i'm playing with 3 CM's and a DM. This is under review though and i may change it up.
2012/13 - Hendon - Blue Square South
A mixed Pre-season, getting a few wins over lesser clubs but getting thrashed 4-0, 6-1 & 7-0 by Ipswich, Charlton & Crystal Palace respectively.
Blue Square South: 20th - Relegated
Well the first season in the division and it's a very brief stay as Hendon are going straight back down as caused by a massive run of barely any wins.
FA Cup: 4th Qualifying Round
We only managed to beat Cray in 1 leg, needing a Replay against Gresley and losing the replay against Blue Square Premier side Mansfield who then got knocked out in the next round to non-league side Bashley, Bashley ended up losing to Sunderland 2-0 in the 3rd Round.
FA Trophy: 1st Round
Did well to beat Gloucester 2-0 who got relegated from Blue Square North this season, before a high-scoring game saw us lose 6-3 to Bromley in the 1st Round.
Under 18 Team
The Welsh lad Lee Collins stands out of that, and he slotted straight into the first team but alas, it was too little too late.
Lee Collins
Ant I would kill for a player like Lee Collins to come through my ranks!
Unlucky on the relegation, I'm sure you'll do better next time around.
Hendon 2012/13 - Blue Square South
End of Season Update
League Table : Overall pleased with survival, it was so very close all seaon.
Fa Cup : Not a bad run
Fa Trophy : Mickey mouse man, Mickey mouse
Squad : Pleased enough with the current squad. Best player is an Irish guy off course wouldnt have it any other way. Need a RB and cover for the MC as i feel my 38yr old MC cover is on his last legs.
Youth Squad : Line em up and shoot em all me thinks
Youth Intake : as 13th of march rolled on i was so excited and then this
Russel Andrews YP01 : The only player from the youth intake going straight into the squad, proved good backup despite not scoring in the 9 games he played, defo potential there.
Key Players
Steven Last : without him many more goals would of gone past, a rock.
Elliott Godfrey : clinical upfront thank god with 22goals in 46 games
And of course TRANSFERS
Next season
after 3 failed attempts at getting my junior coaching up i need at least 1 or 2 ups before march rolls around again. im hoping that survival will be easier this time round with the players use to the tactics and their improvement overall. From now on i will post my youth intake as i get to them save leaving it till the end off the season.
If anyone want any other info on this team or how anyother team is getting on just ask.
Last edited by the_greyham; 15-03-2012 at 19:10.
Just got this in my inbox. gutted. Was going to replenish the finances with some preseason friendlies aswell
I just cannot see a striker with 2 for finishing do to well. Godfrey had a good season though.
Good work!
Ant- Unlucky with Hendon mate, I hope you have another go with a different team
greyman- Well done on avoiding relegation and dont be to sad about the intake. Andrews will be a beast with his pace even if my nan is better at finishing than him , would swap your intake for mine any day.
I'm not encouraged too much by people's intake . I think I'll have to drop my expectations slightly.
Should get round to that part of the game either tonight or tomorrow... excited!
joe- why are you not encouraged! people are getting 16yr olds ready for the first team!
I'm struggling for words here, I was one of the best teams, 5 points clear at the top and won plenty of games...
In the last 16 games, i've won just 2 games outright, and won 1 game on penalties against BSP Wrexham, drawn 9 and lost 4... I'm 5th in the league now! Looks like promotion is out of the question unless we start winning.
Right, new season and a new team...this time it's Harrow, and from what I can tell, the first team is alot worse than Hendon!
just a quick update before i dash off to the pub, on my facilites screen now i have a new stadium being built which wont be finished till june 2016, and it says i have no youth facilities so does that mean i wont get an intake till march 2017????
I was just building up my hopes a bit too much I feel but I suppose I'll just have to take what I can get.
What does YP1 mean and why are a lot of you guys using it ?
We are using it so we can track our youth players. YP=youth player and the number is the season we had them come through. every season you pick your best player from your intake and give them this tag.
Okay, so I'm going to do a bit of a mid-season update as I really am loving this save. A lot of my games have been cancelled over Christmas because of snow which hopefully will get rid of the congested fixtures.
Well we've got off to an absolute flyer, our last defeat was back on the 1st September and we've put together a run of 15 games without defeat, drawing just 3 in the process. Also within this run we have only conceded 5 goals.
League table
Our defence has been key in our success, with 11 clean sheets, once we score I seem to get a good feeling.
Here I'm just going to list a few of our better performers:
Dean McDonald - he hit a cracking run of form which kick-started our unbeaten run. He's our top scorer but is starting to taper off.
David Ray - our rock at the back! Cannot fault some of his performances, very impressive.
Paul Vines - Started off the season as our main source of goals only to lose his spot to McDonald. He's come in to a bit of form currently though playing as a Deep Lying Forward. A very player.
Carshalton, the season so far .... (June 24th - Dec 31st)
In the league, after 22 games, we sit 11th in the BSS, with 31 points. However, we're only 5 points away from the playoff places, and importantly, have a better goal difference over most of the teams above us. Some good runs in the league have been followed by bad runs, but overall, not too bad so far.
In the FA Cup, Staines (BSS) were beaten 3-2 in Q2, with Kings Lynn losing 2-0 in Q3. In Q4 however, we were drawn against Chelmsford (BSP). 2-2 was the final score before the replay saw us suffer a 2-1 loss in Essex.
Some say we may have been fortunate to beat Welling in Q3 of the FA Trophy, as we needed an 85th minute equaliser to force a replay, before winning 3-2 at Welling, but the truth was in the first match, we went ahead after only 3 minutes, then hit the woodwork 4 times before half time. When they went 2-1 up I thought that's it. Try again next season. In the first round proper, it's another trip to Essex, as we're drawn away to Chelmsford..... We forced a replay by drawing 1-1, despite playing most of the match with only 10 men, and in my view rather luckily win the replay 3-2 despite having another man sent off and a player carried off after I used my 3rd sub. Tonbridge are next up for me in the cup.
In terms of junior coaching, I managed to persuade the board to increase it after we beat Kings Lynn. Hopefully, I can have a bit of a run in the FAT and persuade the board to increase it again at the beginning of March.
Sounds like your going well Avramski! Very solid!
Just had an awful start to my second season but a detailed change to my tactics has resulted in three wins on the trot with Freeman (yp02) scoring freely after being on a goal drought of over 9 hours.
EDIT: Save game crashed. Managed to find another one from July but means I to restart this season...
Last edited by TWFL; 15-03-2012 at 21:27.
Well at least it's looking good now!
My unbeaten run has come to an end First defeat in 17 games.
Just got my youth players through, although there is quite a bit of potential, I'm not quite sure what to think. I'll let you lot judge tomorrow when I post my season review.
just realised I cant stop people reloading their youth intake to get better players. I'm sure your all trustworthy, but just remember, if you do this even once you probably wont feel the same way about completing this.
Starting to get hit by injuries
Down to 14 fit players now, including 2 'keepers.
Edit: Also I'm not able to play over the weekend so this will be it until Monday for me.
Last edited by JoeBainborough; 16-03-2012 at 10:24.
glad were all on the same page
Just got my youth intake last night, couldn't be bothered posting after i'd been training, was too tired lol. As far as I can remember, I have one good prospect and could be my YP01 (i think thats what you said to name it), but the others are a little disappointing!
I'm wondering if, with the extra players coming in, I could push for top spot again, i'm currently 5th after a horror show in recent months.
Chester - March Update - Season 1
It's been a long season, but we've finally got our first crop of youth players in! It has come up with some interesting players, but there isn't anybody outstanding as such...
We've worked very hard this season and started on sensationally, soon rising above the likes of Darlington and Alfreton into top spot. We heald top spot for a while and even went 5 points clear at one point, but all of a sudden we hit a brick wall! We are now doing the opposite and being the team 5 points behind 1st place! We are currently in the play-off positions, but it's Squeeky Bum Time! We are a healthy 5 points clear of Nuneaton, but as we have already experienced, that can quickly change and i'm hoping the new crop of youth can shoot us back up the table.
League Table
League Stats
We haven't particularly had any amazing players, just a team with togetherness, but as already stated, it's all falling apart...
Chester Squad & Stats
Season Verdict So Far... It's been a more than successfull season compared to what I expected, but I wont complain and we are just hoping to get promotion and maybe attract bigger crowds and hopefully improve the facilities.
Youth In-Take
Decided to do the March update instead of Mid-Season
My First YP!
Gary Beckford YP01, the home town hero of the future! Born in Chester on 24.10.1996, level headed, described as a young striker and is already blowing the Chester fans minds!
Gary Beckford YP01
Report Card
He looks to have very good Physical stats except strength and his composure is fantastic, really exciting stats if you ask me. I've set up a training schedule as promised for all my YP's and i've set individual training to Quickness to try get pace and acceleration up.
The only problem with Beckford is he has very low Determination levels, so i've decided to get Matty McNeil to tutor him who has 12 Determination. I'm hoping that Beckford's will go up through being tutored and give him a better chance of reaching his potential. I was a bit scepticle at first as my Assistant Manager isn't the best when it comes to looking at CA and PA, but I had nothing to lose in giving him games as my strikers haven't been able to score to save their life in the last few months and he's come into the side and blown peoples minds away!
1st Game: 1 Assist, best player in my team...
2nd Game: 2 Goals, best player in my team...
I can't wait for the next match now!
I'm a bit disappointed with the rest of the youth in-take, but i've signed up several just so that I have a bit of strength in depth for next season.
End of season report.
Following my mid-season report above, where things were not going too badly, things basically fell to bits.....
We managed to beat Tonbridge 2-1 in the FAT but just 3 wins in 17 games meant we was in freefall down the BSS table. This was compounded by the 5-1 demolition job we suffered at the hands of fierce rivals Sutton Utd in the 3rd round of the FAT. However, 3 wins in the last 5 games of the season meant we was safe from relegation (quite comfortably in the end), but it was doubtful for a while.
Final league table
I wasn't that impressed by my youth intake, as the only player suitable for a first team call up straight away was a goalie (report card), a position that I was lucky to have good cover for anyway, but a few decent prospects there. I just need to get the midfielders trained up ready for first team action though, as that is where I'm weakest currently.
In terms of transfers. I signed no one to stay within the rules, and the only player to leave was 1 of 4 leftbacks I had when I took over.
PS. Incase your wondering about the website, it's my own photography website. Feel free to have a browse if you want. I've set up a gallery where I can upload all my screenshots so you can see my progress through the challenge. As it's an unlisted gallery, the only place you'll find links for it, are in this thread.
Oh, while I remember, the board has spent £85k for me to add 50 seats to bring the ground up to league rules, so I expect no increase in junior coaching next season.
Last edited by Avramski; 16-03-2012 at 21:21. Reason: Typo demon strikes again!
TM- that young striker looks great! I wish people would stop being disappointed with their youth intake, anyone who has players through with gold stars already should feel lucky.
Avramski- well done on surviving ( as that is what the first season is about ) unfortunately your site seems to be to busy for me to view your screenies. Was disappointing as i wanted to see your goalkeeper .
Everyone- Stop moaning! your youth intakes are looking great and like they will develop into much better than your first team, so be happy!
This afternoon is the final showdown for the league, unfortunately on the last day of the season I could only take second place, which leaves the play-offs. We beat southport in the semi's in both legs, but now face the toughest challenge of our career so far, against darlington who I pipped to 2nd place! Can we do it?
TM- Post the highlights without the score!
How do I do that ri?
i just mean post the highlights without saying what the score is in the post, so people have to watch the video
Hendon 13/14 March update
Bad News!!!!!!
Youth Intake
both make it straight into starting 11 due to injuries
Hendon 2013/14 - Blue Square South
End of Season Update
League Table : Strange a more comforatable survival with less points on the board
Fa Cup : KO on first game
Fa Trophy : Same as Fa Cup shocking
Squad : Lost our best RB,GK and second best DC due to wage budget being halved and they wouldn't renew. but apart from that all looks good. just hope next years intake has a RB and a MC as were very lacking there
Youth Intake : Same as the post above
Key Players
Steven Last : yet again solid at the back.
Finances : This is really not looking good loosing huge amounts every month even tho the wages are at 2500 a week, not much at all. chairman will not throw any money in whatsoever. he is a bit of a dick
And of course TRANSFERS
Next season
Still no junior coaching upgrade hopefully the 2 new strikers can score in front off goal and we also have 2 new dc's come through. aim yet again is survival
Welcome to the showdown between Chester & Darlington! The Play-off Final!
Previous Meetings...
The First game between Chester and Darlington was a pre-season friendly, but despite matching them in every area of the pitch, Levi Mackin scored an own goal which sealed out fate, losing 2 - 1.
The Second game was an away game for us and Darlington were expected to crush us. Darlington were crushing us come half-time, but we were still holding out at 0 - 0 and in the second half, Matthew Dolan got sent off to Darlington. This allowed us to keep control of the ball a bit better and we were unlucky not to snatch a victory. It ended 0 - 0...
The Final game we played against them was in the return fixture, with home advantage! Darlington proved however, that home advantage wouldn't give us an easy ride and despite Darlington picking up a red card late on, we were lucky to come out of this with a very respectable 1 - 1 result!
The League...
Darlington were probably the most feared opponent in the league, come the start of the season, or at least in my eyes they were! But some how in our last game of the season, we managed to snatch second place away from them and i'm sure they will be looking for revenge! They have performed extremely well this season with 77 goals and 41 conceded, giving them a goal difference of +36.
Shaun Curtis is seen as the main threat for Darlington and he's been one of the most consistent performers in the league this season. We will need to keep him quiet if we are to come out of this one with the victory!
Verdict: I believe we can pull this off, but I will be looking towards my YP01 to provide some memorable magic! We've managed 2 draws in the league, but that friendly defeat does hang over our heads and it's time to go out and prove we are good enough! We are playing at home which could be a major factor in this match and i'm very pleased by that!
Match Highlights! Watch For Match Result! View in 720p HD
Accidently posted the video with the winning information lol, removed now!
congrats on promotion!!!!!! woooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! well done looking forward to the end of season post.
Finally got a chance to sit down and just play and my career could not be going much better so far!
Tactic Master, congrats on promotion bud
stothy- glad to hear it!


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Customer Reviews for DeMarini CF5 Senior League Bat - Youth
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DeMarini CF5 Senior League Bat - Youth
This product can be shipped to US and Puerto Rico addresses ONLY. The updated DeMarini CF5 is the lightest swinging bat to date in the DeMarini lineup. It's also their most technologically advanced bat, specifically created to optimize the barrel's balance and sweet spot. It starts with Demarini's Geo Internal End Cap, filled with load-balancing triangles to maintain barrel stiffness and provide a smooth feel. This two-piece endcap is designed to reduce vibration while pushing the energy to the sweet spot for more power. Speaking of the sweet spot, this bat has two composite walls, separated by DeMarini Flex Film to allow them to act independently and give maximum trampoline effect. This delivers a dynamic hitting surface with a bigger sweet spot and more power, even on off-center hits. Made with DeMarini's TR3 Composite. This naturally chaotic, random fusing of carbon fibers creates a more compact carbon, enabling a stronger and lighter bat than ever before. Allowing for more evenly distributed weight, this bat produces faster bat speeds so you can generate even more power. Available in 29"-32" lengths with a -8 weight ratio. To contact a manufacturer about a warranty, please refer to our Bat Warranty Manufacturer Contact List .
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Evergreen Word Puzzle
This printable activity will have kids working on compound words with a holiday theme.
Grade Levels: 0-12 months - 5
To view this printable you need Adobe Acrobat Reader. Click to download Acrobat Reader - it's free!
From The Everything Kids' Christmas Puzzle & Activity Book Copyright © 2003, F+W Publications, Inc. Used by permission of Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company. All rights reserved.
To order this book go to Amazon.


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Grover in Turkey
Grover is in Turkey now
Certainly everyone knows Grover - a nice furry character from Sesame Street. He visits different countries in the world and then tells children what he finds interesting about them. The point of this project is a toy of Grover who is sent from one preschool in project to another. In every country in each preschool children welcome Grover, play, take photos, tell him about country they live (some most important things) and of course their kindergarten. At the and a teacher makes a report from the visit on behalf of Grover and a toy is sent by post to another preschool in the project. Report is sent to each preschool participating in project, so at the end every preschool has a set of reports (by Grover) about countries which are in project. This project bases on partnership of many partners making something like a chain, and giving others information about many countries and preschool children living there.
Grover is in Turkey now


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10 Divorce Stories Too Strange to Make Up
Nothing can bring utter insanity to the lives of otherwise reasonable people like a nasty divorce. People in that situation suddenly find within themselves untapped wells of pettiness and crazy, leading to the kind immature behavior that would embarrass the average 10-year-old.
How bizarre do these cases get? Well...
#10. A Cambodian Couple Split Their Assets
Last year, in Cambodia's rural village of Phnom Penh a couple ended their 18 years of marriage because Moeun, the husband, has suspected for years that his wife was screwing around with the local cop. So like a reasonable couple they talked over their differences and then at some point Moeun decided to fucking cut their house in half.
"Actually, I'm gonna need something a little bigger."
Moeun and his relatives showed up equipped with lots of saws, and we're guessing even more alcohol, and cut the bastard neatly in two. We're guessing if you were to rewind about two hours you'd find said man and relatives in a bar, just sort of drunk, when one of them says, "You know what you should do... " There's laughter, but then about 15 Cambodian beers later, the idea comes up again. This time, less laughter and more angry agreement. We figure about an hour later, they were loading up their chainsaws.
"This is such a great fucking idea!"
And once they got started they really couldn't quit without looking like even bigger assholes, so they completed the job and carried Moeun's share of the house--which, should be noted, is utterly useless without the other half to keep the rain out--back to his parents' place. We can only thank God the couple didn't have kids.
Wow, something this insane can only happen in Cambodia, right, guys? Oh, wait, a guy in Germany did the exact same thing.
#9. A Brooklyn Couple VS. Wacky Judge
So is there an American story that tops them both? We believe so.
While filing for divorce, citing physical and mental abuse, the aspiring-to-be-ex Mrs. Chana Taub hit a roadblock when the judge dismissed the entire case, based on what appears to be the fact that the couple were already living out an 80s sitcom plot device. You know, where the feuding couple decides to draw a line down the middle of their house, then a series of wacky hijinks ensue while they try to sabotage each other?
Only in this case instead of a line, it was a wall built down the center of the three-story home. And we don't mean some kind of temporary thing to teach them a lesson, but an actual wall of plywood and sheetrock through the middle of their Brooklyn residence.
See that white separation wall in the back? Yeah. This is retarded.
What's more, it wasn't even their idea. An earlier judge had ordered the wall built, after both husband and wife refused to move out (this was presumably the first case in U.S. history to cite an episode of The Facts of Life as its basis). We note that the judge gave the wife the kitchen and the husband the dining room, which would seem like he was trying to set up some kind of wacky/romantic reconciliation dinner. You know, except for the big goddamned wall separating them.
#8. Jilted Woman "Murders" "Husband" in "Japan"
In a spine-chilling case of betrayal, revenge and murder, an unnamed Japanese woman may face serious jail time for the murder of her ex-husband which occurred last year... inside an online role-playing game called Maple Story.
Whoa, this looks pretty serious.
Having come home one day to find that her online avatar had been dumped by another online avatar was apparently enough to turn this jilted divorcee into black-hearted machine of nerdy feminine vengeance.
Allegedly using some illegal software to hack into her ex's account, the 43-year-old piano teacher proceeded to destroy his character on which he worked for over a year. A year of battling monsters and buying clothes, gone, like that. Needless to say the man contacted the police immediately. We're going to guess he was hung up on in mid-sentence, and then the embarrassed officers had to call him back when they looked it up and realized it was a real crime.
"Thank you, Grinning Mushroom Monster, you may step down, now. The Defense rests."
The ex-wife may be looking at 5 years in prison or a $5,000 fine for her in-game crime, which we're thinking sets the precedent for Call of Duty war crime tribunals next year. Ha, only in Japan, right?
#7. David Pollard and Amy Taylor Start a Second Life
Laura Skye, a local up-and-coming DJ in the U.K., was devastated to one day find her husband, the ruggedly handsome Dave Barmy, cuddling with a strange woman in his apartment. And this was after she forgave him for having a fling with a prostitute a couple of years ago.
Now she has filed for divorce. This would be quite a sad story if not for the fact it all happened on-line in Second Life.
Skye is the alter-ego of Amy Taylor and Barmy is the character played by David Pollard, her currently-ex husband, who seems to have took the divorce well. According to Dave, their marriage was a joke for some time, because Amy spent long hours playing World of Warcraft and ignored all the important stuff, like their dinner date in Second Life.
Also, holy shit has anyone made this observation before?
Dave would often spend lonely nights at his virtual studio apartment not being able to understand why his wife left him for a silly fantasy online game. After which he shelled real money to see two computer avatars humping on his computer screen. The couple is now divorced both on-and off-line.
#6. Joseph Finnegan: Husband, Friend, the Undead
When, in 2007, Karen decided to divorce Joe, her husband of 26 years, she did not count on just how crafty her soon-to-be ex could be. Joe's defense in the case was so simple, it was beautiful: He claimed that they cannot get divorced because their marriage was already dissolved over three years ago... when Joe "died."
Apparently Joe claimed that after his heart stopped in 2004, this temporary death was enough to annul their marriage on the legal binding clause of "Till Death Do Us Part." If that wasn't enough, he cited two additional examples of his death, one more time in 2004 and once again in 2005. Three temporary deaths? What the fuck? Is this the guy Crank 2 was based on?
Unfortunately for Joe, he failed to provide evidence that he was... well, dead, probably due to the fact he actually showed up in court and everything. So his motion was dismissed.
It's all for the best though. If Joe got his wish, he would be technically and legally a dead person walking among the living a.k.a. a zombie. And hunting him down for sport would be too big of a temptation for us.


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WIBW.com Mobile Site
Alex Gordon & Salvador Perez Named American League All-Stars
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Alex Gordon & Salvador Perez Named American League All-Stars
Posted: 5:47 PM Jul 6, 2013
Reporter: Royals, posted by Kinch O'Kelley
KANSAS CITY, MO (July 6, 2013) — Major League Baseball announced today that Kansas City Royals outfielder Alex Gordon and catcher Salvador Perez have been named American League All-Stars. Both Royals will be making their first All-Star appearances at the 79th annual Midsummer Classic at Citi Field in New York on Tuesday, July 16. Both Gordon and Perez were elected to the team via the player vote.
This marks the first time since the 2003 All-Star Game that the Royals have had more than one player representative. Gordon is the first KC outfielder to be selected to the team since Jermaine Dye in 2000, while Perez is the first Royals' catcher to be named an All-Star since Darrell Porter in 1980. Porter was also selected in 1978, but did not play, while the only other catcher in franchise history to attend the All-Star festivities was the first Royal All-Star, Ellie Rodriguez in 1969.
Gordon, a six-year veteran with Kansas City, is batting .290 with 15 doubles, 8 homers and 46 RBI in 81 games. He came into play Saturday leading the American League in 2-out hitting (.374), tied with Alex Rios for the league-lead in outfield assists (8) and was 10th in the league with 29 multi-hit games. He had a 12-game hitting streak earlier this season and had walk-off hits against Toronto (April 14), the Chicago White Sox (May 5) and Atlanta (June 26).
Perez is in his second full year in the Major Leagues and is hitting .302 with 15 doubles, 4 homers, 36 RBI in 71 games. He ranks second among A.L. catchers in batting average (.302) and is third in the league with a .403 average with runners in scoring position. He has thrown out 10 would-be base stealers, which is tied for third-most in the American League. He had an 11-game hitting streak from June 5-15 and has 21 RBI since June 1.
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I know I can get an IDP, but I read in some places that they recognize US Driver's Licenses specifically New York. Can anyone confirm?
According to this USA Today article you can't.
Afaik, an international license is mostly a multi-lingual translation of your national drivers license. In theory, you might avoid needing one in nations where police commonly speak English, like Scandinavia, Germany, etc., although officers might still demand one, depending upon how national laws are worded, the officer's dislike of foreigners, etc. Spain cannot expect that its police speak English, so yes you'll need the international one. You'll probably still need it even if the officer speaks English because their laws would be written assuming the officer might not speak English.


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So Google recently released a "block" feature which can allow a user to easily block any domain if we find it to be less than useful.
I would love to block the Copied-From-Stack Overflow (particularly the websites without attribution).
However, I don't have the time (or inclination) to block each website specifically. I'll continue to block a website as they spam my results, but is there an automated way to block all these Stack Overflow knockoffs with a fast and efficient script?


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Besides number theory, what other areas should I study for crypto. I did my undergrad in Comp Sci so the crypto course didnt have much mathematical topics. But for a grad specilisation in crypto I need to get acquainted with the required mathematical skills.
Any sort of help is appreciated.
Regards Rahul


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As a homeowner, it's important to insure your home and its contents. Depending on your property location, your home is either considered at high-risk or at moderate-to-low risk for a flood. Your insurance premium will vary accordingly.
It only takes a few inches of water, and your home could need major repairs. Yet most homeowner's policies don't cover flooding. Find out the facts, and then talk to your agent about flood insurance.
Most homeowners in a moderate-to-low risk area are eligible for coverage at a preferred rate. Preferred Risk Policy premiums are the lowest premiums available through the NFIP, offering building and contents coverage for one low price.
In fact, building and contents coverage starts at just $119 per year. If you don't qualify for a Preferred Risk Policy, a standard rated policy is still available. Even though flood insurance isn't federally required, nearly 25% of all NFIP flood claims occur in moderate-to-low risk areas.
If you live in a high-risk area, a standard rated policy is the only option for you. It offers separate building and contents coverage.
The Dwelling Form provides insurance for buildings with one to four units, including single-family condominium units and townhouses. The General Property form provides insurance for other- residential and commercial buildings. Both forms provide flood insurance on contents, if you have purchased this optional coverage.
Flood insurance premiums are calculated based on factors such as:
If your home is in a high-risk flood area and you have obtained a mortgage through a federally regulated or insured lender, you are required to purchase a flood insurance policy.
If you are currently renting, please visit this website to obtain flood information. Renters Information.
Let Scott Held Insurance Agency, Inc. help you choose a policy that will fit your individual needs. Protecting your assets, whether personal, business, or both, is our goal. A well-chosen policy can lessen the impact of some of life's most common, yet unforeseen perils. We're here to help when you are considering Flood Insurance


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Some people find a calling In the Navy, others Go West in search of fortune, and still others find all they need at the YMCA. But perhaps no one has had as much success with that particular trifecta as Victor Willis, the original lead singer of the Village People.
Now, the man often known simply as the Motorcycle Cop has been given the green light to reclaim his copyright interests in those songs and others (at least in the U.S.). The Guardian (U.K.) has summed it up best with the headline – Village People's policeman lays down the law on his right to royalties.
In the Navy
Go West
Related Reading
New York Times, Arts Beat blog
The Hollywood Reporter


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March 22, 2013
Eggciting Cape Town Easter events 2013
Celebrations, quality family time and tons of chocolate ... yes, Mother City lovers, it's my favourite time of the year in Cape Town – Easter!
From exciting egg hunts with mythical characters on the top of Table Mountain to decadent feasts at the luxurious Pure restaurant in Hout Bay, there is plenty to see, do and indulge that sweet tooth with in Cape Town.
Join me at the following delicious events in the Mother City this Easter weekend:
Frivolous fun for the young ones
Table Mountain's Easter egg hunt
Set your alarm clocks and rise early for the delicious traditional Easter egg hunt on the top of Table Mountain, our New7Wonder of Nature, on Easter Sunday.
Hop the Easter Bunny, Sparkle the Easter Fairy, and The Mad Hatter have hidden Easter eggs and other chocolate treats all over the mountain for young treasure-hunters to find. Your journey on this magical adventure costs R205 for adults R100 for children.
Date: 31 March
Location: Lower Cable Station, Tafelberg Road, Cape Town
Contact: +27(0)21 424 0015
Website: www.tablemountain.net
Kids ahoy! Easter activities at the V&A Waterfront
Your favourite local seaside shopping centre is providing hours and hours of eggciting activities these Easter holidays. From Lindt chocolate bunny hunts to spectacular face painting and a meet-and-greet session with the hilarious Scooby Doo and his Cartoon Network friends, there is so much fun to be had at the V&A Waterfront!
Date: 22 March to 7 April
Location: V&A Waterfront, Cape Town
Contact: +27 (0) 21 408 7600
Website: www.waterfront.co.za
Kids Easter egg painting workshop at Winchester Mansions
Mom and dad can while away the time with a scrumptious tea as the kids participate in the Easter egg workshops with a DIY Easter egg painting kit.
Sessions are R200 per child and include the workshop, snacks and cool drinks for the little ones.
Date: 23 March to 5 April
Location: Winchester Mansions, Sea Point
Contact: +27 (0)21 434 2351
Website: www.winchester.co.za
Cape Point's Easter Adventure
It's all little hands on deck this Easter at the impressive Cape Point as the hunt for a pesky chocolate-stealing pirate begins!
Take your tiny treasure hunters to this iconic attraction this Easter weekend, help them find the pirate who stole the Easter Bunny's supply of chocolate eggs, demand an Easter egg from him, take a pic with him and send it to the Cape Point team for your chance to win a delicious Easter hamper.
Location: Cape Point
Contact:+27 (0)21 780 9010/11
Easter egg hunt at Imhoff Farm
Come and enjoy the thrill of an egg hunt while saying hi to all of your farmyard friends at the Imhoff Farm in Kommetjie.
For just R30 (yes, R30), children will have all-day entry into the farmyard, be able to keep the eggs they collect, and receive a nice cold drink after the hunt.
Date: 1 April
Location: Imhoff Farm, Kommetjie
Contact: +27 (0)21 783 2007
Website: www.facebook.com/events/483492018380942
Fabulous feasts for the entire family
Easter at Mount Nelson
The Nellie, as our impressive pink hotel is known, is laying out her finest for your Easter celebrations.
From a luxurious weekend stay with bed and breakfast and a horse-and-carriage ride around town to a fabulous Easter-themed Afternoon Tea buffet and egg hunt for the kids, you simply cannot miss Easter at the Mount Nelson Hotel.
Date: 29 March to 1 April
Location: Mount Nelson Hotel, Gardens
Contact: +27 (0) 21 483 1000
Website: www.mountnelson.co.za
Easter excitement at One&Only Cape Town
Whether it's Cape-influenced culinary treats at Reuben's, a special kiddies' tea buffet, or Vista Lounge's delectable Lindt Chocolate Fondue you're after, you'll love the One&Only's Easter experiences.
Date: 30 March to 1 April
Location: One&Only Cape Town, V&A Waterfront
Contact: +27 (0)21 431 4511
Website: www.oneandonlycapetown.com
Pure restaurant's Easter menu
Escape the hustle and bustle of the city and enjoy a relaxing meal at the trendy Pure restaurant in Hout Bay.
The special is R175 per person and includes two courses featuring mouth-watering delights: farmed salmon trout crowned with an Asian baby salad and a chocolate hot-cross bun pudding set on a sour raspberry coulis.
Date: 27 to 31 March
Location: Pure restaurant, Hout Bay Manor, Hout Bay
Contact: + 27 (0)21 791 9393
Website: www.houtbaymanor.com
Easter buffet lunch 2013 at Blue Rock restaurant
For a celebratory meal with an adventurous twist, pop by the Blue Rock Cable Waterski restaurant in the Helderberg.
For just R285 for adults and R235 for kids under 12, you can indulge in roast beef served with onion gravy, lemon herb BBQ chicken breast, chocolate mousse, tiramisu and more.
Date: 31 March
Location: Sir Lowry's Pass Road, Blue Rock Village, Somerset West
Website: www.bluerock.co.za
Want to know what's on in Cape Town? Visit our Events page for the latest details on what's happening in the Mother City.


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STEUBENVILLE - Hess Corp., a leading global independent energy company, has partnered with Eastern Gateway Community College Foundation Inc. to offer $10,000 in scholarship funds to assist displaced workers and other students pursue higher education at the local community college.
Hess hopes to help displaced workers and other job seekers returning to college to further their education and regain employment. Hess anticipates several Hess Corp. scholarships to be awarded, valued at up to $1,000 each.
Successful candidates must be enrolled full or part time at Eastern Gateway. They must reside in Jefferson, Harrison or Belmont counties. Students pursuing degrees or certificates in programs that relate to the energy field or support the local community may apply for the scholarships.
Article Photos
SCHOLARSHIPS — The Hess Corp., with local offices in Steubenville, presented $10,000 to the Eastern Gateway Community College Foundation Inc. to fund Hess Corp. scholarships for students from Jefferson, Belmont and Harrison counties attending the college. At the presentation were, from left, Laura Meeks, Eastern Gateway president; Andrew Keck, Hess senior land negotiator; Glenda Harlan, Hess social responsibility coordinator; John O'Brien, Eastern Gateway foundation director; and Patty Sturch, Eastern Gateway dean of enrollment management and student information. — Contributed
Examples of programs include natural gas technology, welding, environmental science, instrumentation and control, nursing, accounting, business management and emergency medical services among others.
"Eastern Gateway and its students are thrilled to accept added support for students pursuing careers connected to the growing energy industry," said Laura Meeks, college president. "Our students work very hard inside and outside the classroom as they study for their courses and work to fund their education. This added financial assistance in the form of Hess Corp. Scholarships will help our students in many ways. Students will be happy to know the local energy corporation is reaching out to support them."
Hess, with an office in Steubenville, engages in the exploration and production of crude oil and natural gas.
"Hess is proud to be a part of the community in Steubenville and excited to partner with Eastern Gateway Community College by offering the Hess Corp. scholarships, which will play an important role here by supporting higher education," said Glenda Harlan, social responsibility coordinator for Hess in Steubenville.
Hess anticipates these scholarships can help displaced workers and others to further their careers and enhance their lives.
For details about the scholarship, contact Eastern Gateway's financial aid office at (740) 264.5591, extension 135.


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Wealthy people and businesses are paying fair share already
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The Airstream Life
First came the idea. Then came the late nights of Craigslist searching. And then it happened quickly: a trip to a derelict horse ranch in the Salinas Valley, an exchange of cash in an old barn, and...written by: Andreas Stavropoulosphotos by: Mark Compton09.24.09
The Brick Weave House in Chicago
Born as a horse stable, the Brick Weave House in Chicago is all about transportation and transparency. A clever renovation has made it the most compelling architecture on the block and home to a...written by: Blair Kaminphotos by: Gregg Segal08.31.09
Plan of Steel
The Blue Sky prototype home tiptoes gracefully across the desert landscape just north of Joshua Tree National Park. Nestled amid piñon and juniper trees and outcroppings of boulders, the...written by: Brendan Newnamphotos by: Misha Gravenor03.07.10
coolcapitals Cool Case Finalists
coolcapitals.com and Dwell teamed up for the second year in a row to bring you a "cool" design competition! We asked for smart-phone cover designs that represent and fuse the unique...written by: Ralston O'Neill08.24.10
And the Parkitecture Winner Is...
After much discussion around the Dwell headquarters, it's finally time to announce the winner of the Parkitecture Design Competition!written by: Amanda Dameron11.23.09
Designed In-House
Mill Valley, California, might not be a hotbed of modernism, but it was here, ten years ago, that Dwell came into the world alongside founder Lara Hedberg Deam's first home—now...written by: Sam Grawephotos by: Dustin Aksland09.07.10
The Shipping Muse
Shipping containers are ubiquitous in Houston, though unlike the four that make up this new home, they're usually filled with foreign goods rather than flourishing lives.photos by: Jack Thompson08.31.09
Built-In Style
In Oakland, California, two designers transformed a 100-year-old barn into a (very) cozy home of their own by redefining the functionality of walls and windowsills.photos by: Aya Brackett05.13.09
The Great Compression
In Auckland, New Zealand, architect Michael O'Sullivan and his partner Melissa Schollum braved a miniscule budget, withering looks from friends, and nasty nail-gun injuries to design and...written by: Jeremy Hansenphotos by: Patrick Reynolds04.13.10
A Tiny Cabin is This Writer's Off the Grid Getaway
On an island 20 miles off the coast of Maine, a writer, with the help of his daughter, built not only a room but an entire green getaway of his own.written by: Amber Bravophotos by: Eirik Johnson06.14.16
Project Runaway
Driven by the death of several appliances, a San Francisco family finds that a spanking new kitchen delivers a good dose of domestic harmony along with the excuse to execute a complete home makeover.written by: Deborah Bishopphotos by: Leslie Williamson02.05.10
Engraved House
As artist Christopher Griffin and aesthetician Oresta Korbutiak prepared to renovate their live-work space in Ottawa, the couple sought an architect who would respect the bones of the building, the...written by: Erika Heet11.11.09
Small in Seattle
For architect Michelle Linden, living and working in 600 square feet poses its challenges, but one of the biggest was completing a gut-renovation on the tightest of budgets—just $25,000....written by: Diana Budds10.21.11
Mod Men
Todd Goddard and Andrew Mandolene have a spring in their step since completing their restoration of the near-derelict 1957 home of architect Arthur Witthoefft, who says, "I can't get...written by: Marc Kristalphotos by: Jason Schmidt01.20.10
Kids' Room Renovation
A baby's arrival is cause for celebration—and for many, it's also a time to confront limited living space. For one Parisian couple, living in a cramped but loved apartment in the 10th...written by: Amara Holsteinphotos by: Stéphane Chalmeau12.30.09
Basic Instincts
Matt Jacobson doesn't just abide by the mantra "less is more," he wholeheartedly embraces it. His Southern California home is a compact ode to minimal living.written by: Jordan Kushinsphotos by: Dave Lauridsen05.19.11
Storage-Smart Renovation in New York City
Living small is par for the course in New York City, but accommodating a family of four in under 700 square feet rarely looks as effortless as in this storage-smart renovation.written by: Sarah Richphotos by: Raimund Koch05.13.09
Chef's Table
When these full-time foodies renovated their Chicago condo, getting the kitchen right meant finding the right kitchen island. Editor-in-chief Sam Grawe invites himself over to sample the fruits of...written by: Sam Grawephotos by: Matthew Williams02.03.10
Fertile Grounds
Nestled in an apple grove in Sebastopol, California, the Orchard House is a rural idyll. And with the voracious design appetites of a family of gastronomically inclined clients, this concrete...written by: Sarah Richphotos by: Dave Lauridsen02.26.10
Underground House in Seoul
Architect Byoung Soo Cho's Earth House is quite possibly one of the classiest dugouts ever built. Set amid peaceful woods and rice fields an hour east of Seoul, Korea, the subterranean...written by: Winifred Birdphotos by: Wooseop Hwang03.25.10
Coop Dreams
Switching coasts from Brooklyn to Portland gave architects Mitchell Snyder and Shelley Martin a new set of unexpected clients: three young hens.photos by: John Clark10.18.10
Smaller in Texas
Texas architect Jim Poteet helped Stacey Hill, who lives in a San Antonio artists' community, wrangle an empty steel shipping container into a playhouse, a garden retreat and a guesthouse for...written by: Erika Heetphotos by: Chris Cooper08.02.10
Prefab, Proven
In January 2003, we issued a challenge to 16 architects: Design a modern prefab home for $200,000. Here's the story of the house that resulted from that challenge—and what we learned...written by: Allison Arieffphotos by: Roger Davies10.19.09
New Prospects
A Brooklyn architect shows what a little elbow grease, a healthy dose of naïveté, and a decade can accomplish.written by: Jaime Gillinphotos by: Dustin Aksland08.13.11
Startin' Spartan
When Jay Atherton and Cy Keener met in grad school at the University of California, Berkeley, they discovered in each other a rare constellation of common interests: minimalist architecture, rock...written by: Jaime Gillinphotos by: Ye Rin Mok11.22.10


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Sauvage's Striped Tacel Workout Short brings retro styling of the 1950s into the modern age. The slim cut of this pair of shorts gives a shape that shows off the male form, but with the longer legs, it's still conservative enough for guys who like more coverage. The nylon-lycra blend dries quickly, making these optimal for intense workouts. With a double-striped side and a no-show waistband, it's a simple look that's all class.
80% Nylon, 20% Lycra.
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5 Dirty Jokes in Modern Movies (That Are Older Than Film)
#2. "That's What She Said" Jokes Are Older Than Television
Admit it: You probably laughed at a "That's what she said" joke at some point, but it's getting old now. The setup consists of waiting for someone else to say something that could be interpreted as a double entendre (i.e., "You have a lovely wiener") and then adding "That's what she said" as a punchline, the joke being that "she" sure does enjoy intercourse.
If you've somehow made it through life without hearing this type of joke before, you can find an example in practically every episode of The Office with Steve Carrell in it:
The Old-Timey Version:
"That's what she said" jokes aren't just getting old, they're getting really old. The original version dates back to at least the early part of the 20th century in England, and it came in the form of the way classier "As the actress said to the bishop" -- as in "My dear sir, may I commend you on having an exquisite banger." "As the actress said to the bishop." If you're confused, you have to understand that actors in general were seen as an indecent lot, and the word "actress" was sometimes used as a euphemism for "prostitute," whereas important religious posts have always been known to attract major pervs.
"Oh, I see what you did there."
The first written use of the joke is apparently in the 1928 book Meet the Tiger featuring the Saint (so you can imagine Val Kilmer saying it), but amazingly, it didn't take too long after that for a modified version of the same quip to be recorded on camera, and by none other than a young Alfred Hitchcock.
During a sound test for Hitchcock's Blackmail, one of the earliest British movies to feature sound back in 1929, the director teases an understandably embarrassed actress by saying "Stand in your place, otherwise it will not come out right ... as the girl said to the soldier." Here's the clip:
This was a historic moment in international cinema, with this revolutionary new technology being put in the hands of one of the undisputed masters of the medium for the very first time ... and he chose to use it to harass an actress with the 1920s equivalent of "That's what she said." Considering what we know about how Hitchcock treated his actresses, perhaps this isn't so surprising.
#1. A Roman Emperor Invented the Whoopee Cushion
Via Grombo
Honestly, we could write an entire article about the history of fart jokes, which are as old as human civilization itself: According to the English study we mentioned before, the oldest surviving joke in the world is a 3,000-year-old Babylonian fart gag. Whoopee cushions, however, are a relatively recent development -- it took nothing short of the industrial revolution and a world war for this clever invention (a rubber bag that makes a farting noise when you sit on it) to appear on the shelves.
Here's an unlikely example of a whoopee cushion in use from an otherwise serious scene in the show Supernatural, of all places:
That's when whoopee cushions work best: When you totally don't expect them. And what could be more unexpected than finding them 1,800 years ago?
The Old-Timey Version:
Apparently the arrival of the modern whoopee cushion was more of a renaissance than a revolution in flatulence humor. As with so many of the great inventions in history, the whoopee cushion has been around since ancient Rome -- and its creator was none other than Elagabalus, the Emperor of the Roman Empire between the years 218 and 222.
Via Ancienthistory.about.com
Emperor Elagabalus, minus his usual Groucho glasses and exploding cigar.
According to Rome in East by archaeologist Warwick Ball, during Elagabalus' brief and turbulent reign, the emperor did occasionally show a "more likeable side." Specifically, he had a reputation as a practical joker, such as "his practice of seating his more pompous dinner guests on 'whoopee cushions' that let out a farting noise." The prototype novelty item was described as an "air pillow" that would gradually let out the air inside as the guests had dinner, eventually leaving them red-faced and sitting under the table.
So, yeah, for a while the mighty Roman Empire was ruled by a third-century Carrot Top. This makes more sense when you consider that Elagabalus was only 14 when he took over as emperor, and 18 when he was assassinated by his own Praetorian Guard for being an annoying little shit.
Thanks to Jesse Clark for the idea for this article. Follow Jacopo della Quercia on Twitter! Visit Elijah Torp's blog or email him at firstname.lastname@example.com.
For more things way older than us, check out 11 Modern Technologies That Are Way Older Than You Think and 5 Internet Annoyances That Are Way Older Than the Internet.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out The 4 Weirdest Anime DVD Extras (Are Weirder Than You Think).


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Claytime Texas - Ceramics Painting Party
A Place to Paint
Quiggly's Clayhouse, Inc.
Ceramics, Crafts and Art parties are a great way to entertain guests of all ages! Who knows, you could discover some hidden talents and turn this one time event into a lifetime career! Search here for Ceramics, Crafts & Art Parties in Arlington TX.


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Marcadores:fechar Transporte Infotenimento para veículos Executivos Mais
Intel's Automotive Security Review Board (ASRB) Benefits Industry
The Driver Information System in the all-new 2015 Hyundai Genesis* is powered by Intel® technology. This enables Hyundai to offer a best-in-class in-vehicle high-definition screen and improved response times when interacting with the system.
Intel® technology is used in BMW's Navigation system Professional*—part of BMW ConnectedDrive*—for all its vehicle models, including the highly innovative all-new BMW i Series*.
Infiniti selected Intel® technology to power the company's Infiniti InTouch* in-vehicle infotainment system, and the first application is the Infiniti Q50*.
The Kia K9* in-vehicle infotainment (IVI) system is powered by Intel® technology and is the product deployment to be announced from the ongoing collaboration between Intel and Kia.
Marcadores:fechar Transporte Infotenimento para veículos Executivos Mais


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I've read that hammocks are a very light way to travel through the wilderness. You just need the hammock, a cover, and a light sleeping bag, but there must be disadvantages compared to taking a tent or a bivy sack. What are they?
Hammocks are cold. The weight of your body compresses the clothes or sleeping bag, and air circulates underneath you, as opposed to a tent where you usually have a pad and the ground for insulation.
It seems like it would be tough to stay dry in the rain in a hammock. It's nice to have a tent to get into in the rain in between hiking/playing and sleeping if it's raining.
I've been a hammock backpacker for about three and a half years now. I love it. There's not a better way to backpack in the summer in my opinion. But despite numerous advantages to hammocking, there are some downsides (tradeoffs):
In a lot of places it will be quite difficult finding two trees the right distance apart to hang it. When it's late and you've been walking all day, all you want to do is lie down and rest, you might spend quite a long time looking for those two trees.
Here in the UK when it rains, it often comes horizontal, so even with a tarp over you, you're going to get wet. And maybe motion sickness if it's windy!
Hammocks are great for hot weather. I have backpacked with a hammock in the Virginia summer, when the nights were 85°F-95°. There are certainly enough trees here, and in any densely forested area. It is actually preferable (with a mosquito net) because you stay cooler. When it rained, I slept on the ground with a small rain fly, because water likes to come down from the attachment points. Bivys pack so small that if one were concerned about the weather, you could pack both in less space than a full sized tent.
I am relatively new to hammock camping, but the only downside that I am aware of is possibly not being able to find a place to hang. As others have mentioned, you do have to account for heat loss out of the bottom of the hammock, but that can be solved simply/cheaply by putting closed-cell foam pad in the bottom of the hammock (generally more expensive is the underquilt). Be sure to check out http://hammockforums.net . There is a great community of hangers there, from backyard and bedroom hangers to ultra-lightweight backpackers.
My experience with hammocks: serveral multi-day bike trips.
You need trees. Depending on the area this can be a problem. I have found myself looking desperately for trees in Hungary. On the other hand you may find spots to tie your hammock in strange places (abbandoned customs station, bridge)
The rain can be an issue, but that what your tarp is for. Also note that water comes down the lines of the hammock. Use a carabiner at the connection between the lines and the hammock.
Stormy weather can also be an issue. The problem can again be migrated with a change of location or a tarp.
Your sleeping bag will be compressed and you can get a cold butt. My solution: My hammock is double-walled and i put an insulated camping blanked between the lower walls.
Moskitos. Use a hammock with a mosquito net. Trust me.
Getting up at night can be uncomfortable (tall grass, slopes, dense bush)
Now the good parts: Space an weight of hammock and tarp are the same as a smaller sleeping bag. Setup within minutes, minimal footprint, sleeping on any slope trees grow, camping out of sight 10 meters next to a road. No worries about stones and roots below you.
I had the same worries as the OP, but a buddy of mine brought a store-bought hammock on a 3 night trip a few years ago. I started investigating and found this site. I made my own for a few bucks (< $20 for the ripstop nylon, a few bucks for some rings, a few more for straps, paracord and a couple carabiners), have used it for 2 years now, and it's still going strong.
The guy talks about staying dry (use a tarp), staying warm (he's got pictures of sleeping in several inches of snow), and keeping the bugs off, too. I've never been cold in mine, but as Chad mentions (+1) it's easy to add an underquilt, if you like, and that's what I'd do if I were going to be somewhere below 40F. I think Simon (+1) has a good point about finding the two trees, but you only need one (1) tree, and a sturdy stick of the appropriate height. (?!) You attach one end to the tree, then run the other cord over the stick/post then into the ground, and the hammock stabilizes itself (saw this somewhere that I can't quite find right now. Try it!).
In short, after 20+ years of packing a tent around (and I tried a bivy once, but it was too cramped for me), I don't see myself taking anything other than a hammock for the forseeable future. Your mileage may vary.
By the way, I've use the nylon hammock, an ordinary sleeping bag, and one of those egg-crate sleeping pads. Just got a Therma-rest pad (the most expensive link in the chain) that I haven't tried yet.
I believe you could be faced with back problems if you slept in a hammock every day of your life. I don't think it would be a problem for just a few days once in a while though.
Another problem probably worth mentioning is that, unlike a tent, you can't use your hammock (even with a tarp) to keep your gear out of the weather. Unless you bring your whole pack in the hammock with you, in which case you probably won't be very comfortable...


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Everyday I do the same routine task or assigned work, but in an effort to feel more energetic and enthusiastic, I would like to do the same routine stuff in a more interesting or innovative way.
I am eager to start practicing this, but I don't know what to start with.
I will appreciate if you can share your views/ideas/suggestions for innovative thinking about regular work.


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This seems to always be the case for me. Any time I'm marinating a salad or pickling vegetables it always seems that the raw onion bite is very much diluted after soaking in vinegar. Is the vinegar 'cooking' the onions in a way, or are the offending chemicals water soluble and just dissolving into the liquid?
I expect it's just the water. Soaking in water, after at least cutting the base off the onion to expose the core, is commonly recommended as a way to reduce the potency of onions to avoid crying. It should also reduce the potency of the flavor. If you're giving it enough time to marinate or pickle, the effect will be even larger than the shorter soaks people use to try to avoid crying.
Edit: I'm not sure how thoroughly you're marinating and pickling, but very generally, adding one strong flavor tends to reduce our perception of others, so you may also have some effects just because you're tasting the vinegar.


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Have you heard about Nestle + Girl Scout Cookies?
Ummmm, Yes Please!
Tuesday, Nestlé will announce plans to make a limited-edition Nestlé Crunch Girl Scout Candy Bar, to be sold June through September at retailers nationally. It will not be sold door-to-door. Under the licensing agreement with Girl Scouts of the USA, Nestlé will make three candy bars based on classic Girl Scout cookies: Thin Mints, Caramel Coconut and Peanut Butter Crème.
More Info: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/girl-scout-candy-bars-coming-retailers-nestle/story?id=16302647#.T6l0dlLLlSk
Your Thoughts?
15 Answers answer
om nom nom
@jertyrael: yup, that pretty much sums it up...
Sounds awesome, although they need to call the "Caramel Coconut" ones by the REAL name - Samoas!
@mkdr: Depending on what state you're in they are still called Samoas. Cookie flavors may vary by state as well.
I'll eat that.
Delicious. Cannot wait until they go on sale.
@coondogg97: There isn't so much variation. There are two bakeries that supply the cookies, each with unique flavors and a little overlap. Each council chooses one bakery or the other, so if you don't like the selection sometimes better cookies are just over the county line.
My home has been a cookie warehouse a couple of times so I'm way more familiar with them than any man should be.
There goes my diet. :(
Whoa... a Thin Mint Nestle Crunch bar? That stuff sounds dangerous.
Did I ever tell you guys about the time I was a crystal menthe cook? The stuff is really easy to make. It's just [crystal menthe recipe omitted to adhere to Woot! Terms of Use] ...and that's basically where they got the plot for "Breaking Bad". With the Thin Mint Crunch bar as the main ingredient I could make the stuff twice as strong.
It's not all bad though! I'm pretty sure my Thin Mint purchases single-handedly funded our entire state's Girl Scout troop.
The article is a joke. I will type 2 things read them out loud and fill in the blank.
Girl Scout _ _ _ _ _ _ _
If you did not say cookies, what did you say? I bet it was not apple.
Is anyone else concerned that the troops will suffer if it reduces sales of cookies?
As an ex-cub scout leader and an ex-girl scout dad I know that money only goes 1 direction. When the cub scouts got a 'bonus donation' for starting our fund raising late and shorting the fundraising time we did not get a dime.
I just wanna know if they'll be made of real girl scouts.
@caffeine_dude: my daughter's girl scout troop got to keep any actual donations for their troop. They're donating most of what they raised to an animal rescue that cares for dogs and horses.
What's this? I don't know that I have enough freezer space to properly horde thin mint bars. Yep, definitely good motivation to clean out the freezer.
@kamikazeken: That is awesome our girls (my wife's extroop) Donated to food drives and volunteered to help clean up after a storm, and some other things but it was their choice!
They could have went to an amusement park with the money they raised, it was literally on the table.
@caffeine_dude: Sounds like a great bunch of girls!
Like most other fundraisers (even though I do love my thin mints), I'd rather give a direct donation to the troop/school/whathaveyou. That way I know the specific people I'm trying to support get 100% of what I'm giving. It still confuses our PTA when they get a direct check from me rather than an order for gift wrap, but they cash it!


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5 Animals That Can Do Amazing Things (With Their Butts)
Certain creatures on this planet seem to have evolved simply for the purpose of making the rest of us laugh really, really hard. We've already talked about a distinguished group of animals that can do incredible things with their penises, so it should come as no surprise that there's a corresponding list of animals that have shaped the world around them using nothing but their asses, because life is occasionally just as wonderful as we always knew it was meant to be.
#5. Tropical Beaches Are Made Out of Parrotfish Poop
David De Lossy/Digital Vision/Getty Images
With its wide-eyed stare and perpetually doofy "fake teeth from the dentist's toy chest" grin, the parrotfish might be the stupidest-looking creature alive. It's the only fish that looks like it walked into a room in the middle of a joke and is laughing at the punchline anyway because making new friends is hard, you guys.
Nick Hobgood/Wiki Commons
"Haha,'karate my foot!' I get jokes; nice one."
It doesn't just spend its days hee-hawing good-naturedly through the Caribbean, though: Parrotfish are directly responsible for some of the most beautiful white sand tropical beaches in the world. Or rather, their poop is. That's basically all white sand is -- parrotfish shit.
The parrotfish's pitiable horse teeth actually serve a purpose -- namely, grinding up chunks of coral. Once it finds a particularly tasty-looking reef, the parrotfish will bite off a piece and chew it up with those oversized self-help-guru veneers, extracting the algae that makes up a large part of its diet. The useless coral waste is then passed through its digestive tract and back out onto the reef in the form of pristine anal sand.
javi_indy/iStock/Getty Images
That's why sand rushes for your butt crack -- it's trying to get home.
The typical parrotfish can produce over 200 pounds of sand in a year. Much of it ends up washed ashore, forming large parts of the gorgeous tropical beaches you see in commercials and travel brochures. And they're not exactly a new or endangered species, which means the parrotfish population has been dooking out grains of resort icing for an incredibly long time.
Alessandro Dona/Wiki Commons
"Ho HO! Joke's on YOU, motherfuckers!"
So if you've ever dug your toes into the beaches of Antigua or watched your children build sand castles at a timeshare in the Caribbean, just know you've all been relaxing and building memories in mountains of leering-fish shit.
#4. Manatees Swim by Farting
If you're able to observe a manatee for an extended period of time without going blind from hysterical laughter, you may notice that they're able to rise and sink in the water with almost no perceptible movement or effort whatsoever. How did these floating speed bumps manage to master ocean magic when they look like they're barely aware of their own existence?
Well, if you watch this video closely, you might notice a telltale clue bubbling up from their hindquarters:
That's right -- manatees control their buoyancy through an endless cycle of farting. Manatees can strategically regulate the distribution of their intestinal gases, holding it in when they want to approach the surface and letting loose when it's time to sink (or disrupt a fancy dinner party with charmingly blue collar antics).
Ramos Keith/U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service
He's about to teach the stuffed shirts at the country club how to cut loose.
But don't try this the next time you hit the beach -- a manatee's physiology is tailor-made for this activity. Manatees eat a ton of plants on a daily basis, which causes them to build up a lot of methane -- so much so that their diaphragms are uniquely arranged closer to their lungs to accommodate all the gas, instead of down near the liver like a normal diaphragm. Their diaphragms are also much longer and stronger, which allows the manatee to pressurize the methane and release it at will. This is another way of saying that if you tried to regulate your buoyancy by storing up methane, you would literally explode like the shark at the end of Jaws if that air tank had been sealed with thousands of pounds of pressurized farts.
#3. Termites Build Walls of Chemically Shielded Poo
Smith Chetanachan/iStock/Getty
Once termites show up to feast on your house, boat, or Wicker Man, you have almost no hope of getting rid of them. Biological controls such as introduced fungi almost never do the trick, and dangerous chemical pesticides manage to kill everything else on the planet, in addition to the pests they were intended for. This is probably one reason why every termite colony looks like a supervillain fortress.
via inhabitat.com
It doesn't have a shark tank, but it comes with a ravenous insect swarm.
Those medieval insect castles are constructed from layers upon layers of industrious termite poop. And those fortified walls of poop are what shield the termites from pesticides.
Since a colony of termites can contain millions of individual insects that haven't yet evolved to use the toilet of whatever home they're currently destroying, they have no way of getting rid of the skyscraper of deuce that would inevitably pile up. So, they evolved into a symbiotic relationship with the Streptomyces bacteria, which feeds off of termite poop and in return releases antibiotics that protect the termites from any destructive pathogens we humans spray their way. The next logical step is for the bugs to build their nests almost entirely out of their own excrement, handing the Streptomyces bacteria an endless buffet and creating what amounts to an impenetrable fortress of shitfarts.
Yep. That's like 90 percent poop.
Now that we know their secret, scientists are developing new non-chemical weapons to bypass the poop shield and destroy the bugs within. In addition, we may someday be able to use the termite's hyper-resistant underpants chocolate to develop more effective antibiotics to replace the ones that have grown obsolete and useless. So, your next prescription of amoxicillin might come straight out of a termite's translucent poop spigot.


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Can a click stop for the vertical arm, a la NN5, be retrofitted to a NN3? If so are there plans to make such available?
Your innovation and customer relations should be a model for other businesses. I love my new RD8 rotator. A real home run!
Season's greetings,
Tim Eastman


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New York Police Use of Stop-and-Frisk Drops
Plummet in Disputed Tactic Tracks Overall Decrease in Crime
The number of stop-and-frisk reports filed by New York City police fell 51% in the first three months of this year compared with the same period last year.
The decline comes as the crime-fighting tactic undergoes a high-profile challenge in federal court and emerges as a central issue in this year's race to succeed Mayor Michael Bloomberg.
From Jan. 1 through March 31, officers conducted 99,788 stop and frisks, compared with 203,500 during the same period in 2012, according to New York Police Department data. It wasn't clear how many of those encounters resulted in a subject being frisked after a stop.
"Staffing and other factors, including training, have had a bearing on the number of stops," said chief NYPD spokesman Paul Browne. "But the bottom line is that the total number of stops in any given quarter reflects what the police officers on duty during that quarter observed."
Speaking generally, he said the number of police assigned to Operation Impact, a program that assigns rookie officers to patrol high-crime areas, tends to have the greatest impact on the number of stops. He said those officers are "in a better position to observe suspicious activity."
The figures were released Friday to the New York City Council and reviewed Monday by The Wall Street Journal.
They also showed that the reduced stops in the first quarter of 2013 resulted in a 43% decline in weapons recovered compared with the same period in 2012.
Overall crime is also down 2.7% this year through April 28 with murders leading the way with a 30% decline compared with the same period last year, police data show.
The stop-and-frisk tactic, under which officers stop, question and sometimes frisk people they reasonably suspect of having committed a crime, has been the subject of a civil trial in federal court in Manhattan.
The Center for Constitutional Rights, which brought the lawsuit on behalf of several individuals, claims the policy violates the Constitution's Fourth Amendment, which prohibits illegal searches and seizures, as well as the equal-protection clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, which is often invoked to fight laws seen as racially discriminatory.
The center seeks a federal monitor to ensure the department complies with any court-ordered changes to the policy.
Stop-and-frisk has absorbed criticism because since 2002 when more than 85% of those stopped were either black or Latino, and nearly 90% of those stopped were released without being charged.
Attorneys representing the city and the police have argued that the tactic focuses on areas where crime is highest and that the percentage of minorities stopped is consistent with the percentage of crime suspects who are minorities. The NYPD and Mr. Bloomberg have cited the policy as an important factor in the drop in crime city-wide.
Data from the first quarter of this year has been consistent with previous years: Black and Hispanic people accounted for the vast majority of stops.
African-Americans were the subjects of 56% of the stops and were 65% of the violent-crime suspects identified by alleged victims, according to the NYPD data. Hispanics were the subjects of 30% of stops and were 27% of violent-crime suspects.
Donna Lieberman, executive director of the New York Civil Liberties Union, a group that has sued the city in the past over stop-and-frisk, said the new data was "encouraging" and was a challenge to the Bloomberg administration's assertion that wide-ranging use of the practice helps reduce crime.
"I think it's significant to note that while stop and frisk numbers have gone down, crime has also gone down," Ms. Lieberman said. "It's important that we ensure that we get to a point as a city where the prospect of being stopped for doing nothing wrong is an aberration not the expected course of events in your life if you are a person of color."
Stop-and-frisk has taken center-stage in this year's race for mayor, with most Democratic candidates saying the policy needs to be changed.
On Monday, City Council Speaker Christine Quinn and Public Advocate Bill de Blasio, rivals for the Democratic mayoral nomination, engaged in a sharp exchange regarding a web advertisement Mr. de Blasio released Friday that linked Ms. Quinn to comments made last week by NYPD Commissioner Raymond Kelly on ABC's "Nightline."
Mr. Kelly said African-Americans represented 53% of those stopped by the NYPD. "So really, African-Americans are being under stopped in relation to the percentage of people being described as being the perpetrators of violent crime," Mr. Kelly said. "The stark reality is that crime happens in communities of color. They are being disproportionately victimized."
Mr. de Blasio's new ad quotes Mr. Kelly saying African-Americans were "under stopped" and reminds voters that Ms. Quinn has often said she would retain him as commissioner if she became mayor. "We need a fresh start," the ad states.
Asked about the ad, Mr. Browne, the police spokesman, said, "Regrettably, race baiting hasn't lost its appeal for a pol behind in the polls."
Ms. Quinn said Monday the ad "showed a certain level of desperation." When asked if she agreed with Mr. Kelly that African-Americans were "under stopped," she declined to comment.
Mr. de Blasio criticized Ms. Quinn for declining to answer the question. "We can't depend on Speaker Quinn to reform stop and frisk if she won't acknowledge there is a problem," he said.
Write to Tamer El-Ghobashy at email@example.com and Michael Howard Saul at email@example.com


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Bowling Green Police tell us shortly after opening their doors a man walked in to South Central Bank on Nashville Road demanding money and claiming to have explosives in his pocket.
They are now asking the public for help with any information.
"Our detectives are walking up and down the strip mall here and all the businesses in the area to attempt to locate video just to determine a timeline," says Ronnie Ward of the Bowling Green Police Department.
But police were able to get a good look at the suspect from surveillance footage inside the bank after the suspect walked in just after 8:15 Monday morning.
The man is described by police as a white male, 5' 3" to 5' 4", dark hair, mid to late 30's, wearing a maroon zip up hoodie, blue cap and blue jeans.
He left the bank on foot. Police made every effort to quickly track him down.
"We did call our K-9 in and he did attempt to track a little bit of an area to where we were able to determine which direction the robber left. He wasn't able to come up with a track just due to the high amount of traffic and people here," says Officer Ward.
Mary Sue Searle works at a dry cleaner just feet from the bank.
She says she didn't see anything suspicious but has taken a proactive approach after other recent robberies, informing businesses around her if something seems out of the ordinary.
Although Monday mornings robbery was close by she is still going about her daily business.
"I'm just carrying on. It's no good to feel fear. Crimes are going to happen I don't think any area is exempt from it but it's just good to be cautious, be careful, and be calm," says Searle.
Police are asking anyone in the area Monday morning who may have seen the male suspect to call 393-4000 or Crime Stoppers at 781-CLUE.