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The 6 Most Certifiably Insane Acts of Writing
#3. Finnegans Wake: A Completely Unreadable Masterpiece
James Joyce was one of the most influential writers of the early 20th century. His most famous work, Ulysses, was a version of Homer's Odyssey, except that it took place in then-modern Dublin (even though most copies were seized and destroyed by American and English customs officers due to "obscenity").
"Me, obscene? What would give you that impression?"
For his last hurrah, Joyce tried to write the most difficult-to-read novel in history, because apparently he was afraid his existing works hadn't fulfilled the "pretentious douchefritter" quotient most artists seem to adhere to. By most accounts, he succeeded with a work called Finnegans Wake.
To give some background, the book took 17 years to write. Almost every sentence is painstakingly crafted to be a pun or double meaning. It's so impossible to understand that you need guides to read it, while you're reading it. He used different languages (including some that he invented), combined words together and purposefully made sure there were multiple layers of meaning in everything. Impossibly, it somehow has characters and a plot.
"Why don't you tell me what it's about?"
For example, here is a typical passage:
"All the vital-mines is beginning to sozzle in chewn and the hormonies to clingleclangle, fudgem, kates and eaps and naboc and erics and oinnos on kingclud ..."
The first part of the sentence is made up of double words, so here, we can read "sozzle" as "sizzle + dissolve," "chewn" as "chew + tune" and "hormonies" as "hormones + harmonies" (doubtless by this point we all wish Joyce were still alive, so that we might beat the living shit out of him). The second part of the sentence is just anagrams -- scrambled words. "Kates" = "steak," "eaps" = "peas." Continuing, we get bacon, rices and onions on duckling. The word "vital-mines" confirms the food theme, as it could be a way to say "stomach," while also referencing vitamins. In conclusion, we have a sentence about the health benefits of a steak and duck dinner, with a musical metaphor running through the whole thing as an entirely separate second layer of meaning.
Admittedly, we still don't know what the fuck "fudgem" is supposed to be.
"Fudgem if they can't read my book."
That was pretty exhaustive work for half a sentence. Now multiply that by 600 pages, and you can easily see why it took this book club 13 years to finish reading it, and this translator 10 years to write it in Polish. For more fun, listen along as Joyce himself recites passages in his offensively fake-sounding Irish accent, daring you to like anything about him.
It's not hard to imagine a writer shitting out a book just to piss people off. But only Joyce would ever have put so much effort into it.
#2. A Hit Novel from a 9-Year-Old Girl
Daisy Ashford, a 9-year-old girl living in 19th century England, scribbled a story called The Young Visiters into the pages of her schoolbook. As the title suggests, the story was rife with spelling and grammatical errors, which seems to indicate that the schoolbook she was using to record her story wasn't being used for much else.
Still better than Stephenie Meyer.
So who cares, right? Normally, this kind of thing would be hung on the fridge for a week, but as there were no refrigerators in Surrey in 1890, it was just stuffed into a drawer and completely forgotten about. Twenty-seven years later, a grown-up Daisy found it among some other papers when her mother died and passed it along to a friend. The story -- which was actually a 105-page novel -- began making the rounds as people realized that this thing she had scribbled out in elementary school was actually a perfectly coherent story, and kind of hilarious. It told the tale of a love triangle between Ethel, Bernard and Mr. Salteena (described as "an elderly man of 42"). Spoiler: It culminates in this:
"Oh Bernard she sighed fervently I certinly love you madly you are to me like a Heathen god she cried looking at his manly form and handsome flashing face I will indeed marry you."
"... and then it's pretty much all f-bombs from there on out."
The book finally landed in the hands of a reader for a publishing house, who was so captivated by the story that he decided to put it into print, because back then publishing companies would still throw money at projects purely because they thought they were adorable.
"Keep writing, this mortgage isn't going to pay itself."
It was a good thing they did; it was a huge hit. The Young Visiters would have to go back to print 18 times in its first year. In 1920, it was adapted into a play, followed 50 years later by a musical. A feature-length movie in 1984 continued the sensation, finally culminating in a TV movie on BBC, starring Dr. House and directed by David Yates, who would go on to make one of the Harry Potter movies.
The entire work can be found online, though you should be warned that it contains four different scenes depicting graphic scrotum torture.
#1. A Novel Typed Entirely With One Eyelid
Imagine you had to write a novel, but for some reason you couldn't type or write. Like, say, your fingers didn't work. OK, so you'd just hire somebody to type it, and tell them what to type, right? It'd take way longer, but it's definitely doable. OK, now say you've lost your voice. Now what? You could use, uh, some kind of sign language to communicate with your typist, we guess. OK, now say that you can't speak, and your entire body is paralyzed except for one single eyelid. Now what?
Those were the circumstances under which Jean-Dominique Bauby wrote his autobiography The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. Bauby, a former fashion-world powerhouse and editor for Elle magazine, woke up after a refreshing stroke-induced 20-day coma completely paralyzed except for his eyes, sort of like Daniel Day-Lewis in My Left Foot, except with a much more useless body part. In order to save him from getting an infection, his right eyelid was sewn shut soon afterward, leaving him with just his left eye as his only means of communication. This proved to be a near insurmountable challenge, because as you may already be aware, eyes cannot speak and can only hold pencils with great difficulty.
Yet, working with a speech therapist, Bauby managed to develop a method of communication based around blinking his one working eyelid. Once he had the basics down (presumably beginning with simple phrases like "Shoo this mosquito away" and "Turn up The Dukes of Hazzard"), he decided it was time to write a book about his experiences, because honestly, what the hell else was he going to do?
"If he pees, I'm making him a child molester in my book."
So, how in the possible hell did this work? Well, letters would be read aloud to him, and Bauby would blink that stalwart left eye of his when the letter he wanted to use was spoken. Then they'd write that letter down. The process would start all over again until a word was completed. Once they got good at it, he could usually get a word out in about two minutes. The final book, about 140 pages long, took Bauby an estimated 200,000 blinks to complete.
Even weirder, the book was good. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly was a critically acclaimed hit (which saved the publisher the incredible awkwardness of having to reject a book a dude wrote with one eyelid). Sadly, the author died mere days after its publication of complications from pneumonia. But his book became an international bestseller and was adapted into a movie 10 years later that received multiple Academy Award nominations.
So, for all of you aspiring writers out there still procrastinating on your novel, what the fuck is your excuse?
"I'm still looking for the right coffee shop. Every writer knows that's the most important step."
Feel free to bug Elijah by email at email@example.com, or read his blog at elijahtorp.blogspot.com. Chris Rio likes to write music, tweet and check email at email@example.com.
For more terrible bouts of insanity, check out 5 Crazy Street Performers (Who Happened to be Geniuses) and 6 People Who Died In Order To Prove A (Retarded) Point.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out 4 Reasons Gremlins Are the Deadliest Movie Monster Ever.


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subset: commoncrawl


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The alt-right click does not work for editing the gnome-panel in the unity interface, but I eventually found that holding alt and clicking both mouse buttons at the same time worked to bring up the panel's properties menu.
It 'occasionally' works when I hold alt and press both mouse buttons on any panel applets. Most of the time I am stuck with the added applets.
I was able to delete the top gnome-panel. But when I changed the bottom panel's properties to be on the right side of the screen, it completely disappeared, and there was no way to get it back, even when I logged in with gnome-classic.
(So far, I have had to dump gnome-panel as an option for an extra Ubuntu 11.10 panel, there appears to be too many conflicts between the gnome panel and the new unity interface.)
Are there any configurations that be altered to make the editing of the gnome-panel more easier? Such as in Gconf-editor or Dconf-editor?


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How would I go about upgrading MySQL to version 5.5 on Ubuntu Server 9.10?
Would I be better off waiting for it to be an easy
$ sudo apt-get install mysql-server job?
I'm also unsure as to which download I would need to get from here.
What's New in MySQL 5.5
Here are some recent improvements to the speed, scalability, and user-friendliness of the MySQL database and the InnoDB storage engine.
This doesn't solve your problem but here's the wishlist bug for packaging MySQL 5.5.
A good option might be to wait for a version from dotdeb.org. Once it's available in Debian unstable/experimental, there will be packages available there.
I have sucessfully installed MySQL-5.5.15 into Natty (Ubuntu 11.04) with alien from official binary RPMs.
Install alien and libaio1 (used from MySQL-5.5)
Fetch binary RPMs from MySQL downloads
Convert them!
...and, install them.
Add mysql user
Initialize data directory
Set other necessary paths
Start DB
Change the root password
There ist a brand-new ppa (personal package archive) repository which includes - beneath other things - mysql5.5 for natty and oneiric:
It may be added to your system using this commands:
There is a painless installer for mysql 5.5 on debian at dotdeb.org. They have instructions about how to get their repository listed with aptitude, here: http://www.dotdeb.org/instructions/ Once that was done, I used Synaptic to upgrade mysql-server to version 5.5 . It worked without a hitch.
The process for upgrading from 5.1 (if you've built a LAMP server) to 5.5 are described here If you are interested in just installing a vanilla MySQL server, then build a clean install of your server and follow those directions at the page I referenced which do not involve a previously installed MySQL instance.
If you want to use phpMyAdmin, you will need to build a LAMP server (as described here and then follow all of the instructions for upgrading contained in the previous link. This will allow you to use the


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Kenroy Home 20181GR
Golden Ruby Iron Lace 1 Light Floor Lamp
Item # bci906049 | Model # 20181GR | Iron Lace Collection
Questions about Kenroy Home 20181GR?
Contact us for advice or more details. Our product specialists are here to help.
Single Light Floor Lamp from the Iron Lace Collection
Sculptured traditional silhouettes with an attention to detail deliver remarkable rewards. The Iron Lace family brings a fresh twist to classical elements with luminous aged warm finishes and metallic highlighted scrolls.
- Empire gold fabric shade
- Designed to cast light both upwards and downwards
- 1 Year Limited Warranty on defects
- Capable of being dimmed - allowing you to set your desired illumination levels when used with dimmable bulbs
- UL Listed for Dry Location
- Requires (1) 150 watt Medium (E26) base bulb (Not Included)
Lamping Technology:
- Bulb Base - Medium (E26): The E26 (Edison 26mm), Medium Edison Screw, is the standard bulb used in 120-Volt applications in North America. E26 is the most common bulb type and is generally interchangeable with E27 bulbs.
- Compatible Bulb Types: Nearly all bulb types can be found for the E26 Medium Base, options include Incandescent, Fluorescent, LED, Halogen, and Xenon / Krypton.
- Height: 63"
- Width: 18" (measured from furthest point left to furthest point right on fixture)
- Length: 18
- Shade Diameter: 18
- Product Weight: 12.1 lbs
Electrical Specifications:
- Bulb Base: Medium (E26)
- Bulb Included: No
- Bulb Type: Compact Fluorescent, Incandescent
- Number of Bulbs: 1
- Watts Per Bulb: 150
- Wattage: 150
- Voltage: 120v
- UL Listed - Indicates whether a product meets standards and compliance guidelines set by Underwriters Laboratories. This listing determines what types of rooms or environments a product can be used in safely.
About Kenroy Home:
Kenroy Home was born in the 1950's, with the mission of becoming today's leader for all that is new in Lighting and Home Décor. Now with an illustrious heritage in chandeliers and then lamps, that has been expanded to include fountains, mirrors and outdoor lighting. Look to Kenroy Home for the finest in décor, performance and value.
Additional Kenroy Home Links
This Kenroy Home item can also be referenced by the following color/finish specific model #:
- Kenroy Home 20181GR
Golden Ruby
*Discontinued model or finish
More Than Just a Store - Your Reasons to Shop
Discover the best online deals for the Kenroy Home 20181 and everything else for your home from the leading online home improvement store.
We're committed to providing you with the best assortment of Kenroy Home products with over 400 warehouses across the country.
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Possible Duplicate:
Do current models of particle physics explain the chemical properties of elements/compounds?
Is there a rule/pattern, or multiple rules and/or patterns, which describe the properties of an element given the number of protons and neutrons it has. For example a carbon atom which has 6 protons and 6 neutrons, howcan you work out what it will act like, reactivity, if there was a bar of carbon, how could they be arranged and what would its properties be like strength. But the rules would work for any number of protons and neutrons.


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From the day I found out that I was pregnant, I started wondering what the gender of the baby would be. Would it be a little girl and add pink to our house? Would it be another little boy bringing more trucks?
Little Man was just as curious. Would he get to teach a baby brother to use the potty? Or would it be a baby sister, which would mean Barbies joining our household?
Of course, there are many different old wives' tales to determine the sex. There are cute little experiments that you can do, but only one thing can tell you within 99.9 percent - an ultrasound. Well, I had mine the other day.
Before I share the news with you, I'd like to share a few of those tales and experiments I was talking about.
According this well-known belief, listening to the baby's heart rate with a Doppler ultrasound can give an indication to the gender. If the heart rate is at or above 140 beats per minute, the baby is a girl, while if it is below 140 beats per minute the baby is a boy.
The Chinese Birth chart is an ancient Chinese belief using a special calendar which takes into account the mother's age at the time of conception and the month of conception to determine whether the baby is a boy or girl.
Legend has it that if an expecting mother craves sweets such as ice cream she is carrying a girl. On the other hand, if she craves sour or salty foods, she is expecting a boy.
Traditional belief says that if a mother experiences sickness in early pregnancy, she is having a girl, and if she feels well, then she will have a boy.
It's a boy if: you are carrying the extra weight out in front; your belly looks like a basketball; your areola have darkened considerably; you are carrying low; you are craving protein - meats and cheese; your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy; the hair on your legs has grown faster during pregnancy; your hands are very dry; your pillow faces north when you sleep; Dad-to-be is gaining weight, too; pregnancy has you looking better than ever; your urine is a bright yellow in color; your nose is spreading; if you hang your wedding ring over your belly, it moves in circles; you are having headaches; and if the number is even when you add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived.
It's a girl if: you are carrying the weight in your hips and rear; your left breast is larger than your right breast; your hair gets red highlights; you are carrying high; your belly looks like a watermelon; you crave fruit; you crave orange juice; you don't look quite as good as normal during pregnancy; you are moodier than usual during pregnancy; your face breaks out more than usual; you refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread; your breasts have really blossomed; your pillow faces south when you sleep; your urine is a dull yellow in color; if you hang your wedding ring over your belly, it moves from side to side; and if the number is odd when you add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived.
All of these different ideas gave me no indication as to the sex of my child - half said boy, half said girl. The same thing happened last time. The only thing that is 100 percent (hopefully) accurate is an ultrasound. And the ultrasound said that we will be welcoming another baby boy.
"A little brother? Yeah!" said Little Man, excitedly, adding, "Good. I hate Barbies."
Now that we know the sex of our newest addition, we are in search of the perfect name.
And I am seeking help. Do you have a suggestion? One of you may think of something my husband and I haven't. So, please send your names to my attention at 401 Herald Square, Steubenville, OH 43952, or to my e-mail address firstname.lastname@example.com. Or give me a call at (740) 283-4711 on Tuesdays between 9 a.m. and 2 p.m. I need all ideas by Oct. 13.
(Letusick, a resident of Rayland, is a copy editor for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times.)


text:
- Author: Matthew W. Fidelibus
- Author: Stephen J. Vasquez
Grape pests and diseases cause significant economic losses to California's wine, raisin and table grape vineyards annually. Grape growers rely on University of California researchers and others for information that allows them to make sound management decisions.
In the much anticipated 3rd edition of Grape Pest Management, more than 70 research scientists, cooperative extension advisors and specialists, growers, and pest control advisers have consolidated the latest scientific studies and research into one handy reference. The result is a comprehensive, easy-to-read pest management tool.
- Author: Tunyalee Martin
- Contributor: Stephen J. Vasquez
It's that time of year again when hot weather fuels the creation of ozone, or smog. Some pesticides emit volatile organic compounds (VOCs) that contribute to ozone formation. Using pesticides that release VOCs may be restricted in certain California locations between May 1 and October 31.
If you plan to apply a pesticide, use the Department of Pesticide Regulation's VOC calculators to determine emissions from fumigant and nonfumigant pesticides. Get there by clicking on the Air Quality button at the top of each treatment table in the UC IPM Pest...
- Author: Stephen J. Vasquez
- Author: Matthew W. Fidelibus
Low temperatures experienced during the winter do not usually damage dormant grapevines in the San Joaquin Valley. However, succulent green shoots are much more sensitive to low temperatures, so spring frost damage is serious concern. Damage from spring frost can vary within and between vineyards. Some factors that determine the extent and severity of frost damage include vineyard location, stage of shoot growth, the minimum temperature reached, and the duration of time that the tissues are at or below critical temperatures (Table 1). A mild frost shortly after budbreak may only damage a few leaf cells, causing necrotic (brown to black) spots (Fig. 1, inset) which will appear to be unevenly distributed throughout the leaf blade or...
- Author: Marcia Wood
- Contributor: Stephen J. Vasquez
Grapes like DOVine, Selma Pete, Sweet Scarlet and Scarlet Royal likely would not exist were it not for ARS scientists' expertise with a laboratory technique known as "embryo rescue." The technology "allows us to use two seedless grape plants as parents for new, seedless offspring," says grape breeder David W. Ramming with USDA Agricultural Research Service (ARS) at Parlier,...
- Author: Stephen J. Vasquez
After 38 years, David Ramming has retired from the USDA Agricultural Research Service (ARS)-Parlier, California, where he bred grapes for California's raisin and fresh market industries. Starting in 1975, he replaced...


text:
I have an Excel spreadsheet with the following formula (paraphrased):
=MMULT( MMULT(vector_as_n_column_matrix, n_by_n_square_matrix)
the matrix and vector contain floating point values. Excel evaluates this formula as a scalar. I don't recall matrix math working that way. However, it's been over 30 years since I studies linear algebra.
Does it make sense that the result should be a scalar? Can you explain why in terms of linear algebra?


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In functional programming since almost all data structure are immutable, when the state has to change a new structure is created. Does this mean a lot more memory usage? I know the object oriented programming paradigm well, now I'm trying to learn about the functional programming paradigm. The concept of everything being immutable confuses me. It would seem like the a program using immutable structures would require much more memory than a program with mutable structures. Am I even looking at this in the right way?
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In functional programming, does having most of the data structures immutable require more memory usage?
The only correct answer to this is "sometimes". There are a lot of tricks that functional languages can use to avoid wasting memory. Immutability makes it easier to share data between functions, and even between data structures, since the compiler can guarantee that the data won't be modified. Functional languages tend to encourage the use of data structures that can be used efficiently as immutable structures (for instance, trees instead of hash tables). If you add laziness into the mix, like many functional languages do, that adds new ways to save memory (it also adds new ways of wasting memory, but I'm not going to go into that).
That depends on the data structure, the exact changes you performed and, in some cases, the optimizer. As one example let's consider prepending to a list:
Here the additional memory requirement is constant - so is the runtime cost of calling
Similarly, when working with balanced tree structures, most operations require only a logarithmic amount of additional space because everything, but one path of the tree may be shared.
For arrays the situation is a bit different. That's why, in many FP languages, arrays are not that commonly used. However, if you do something like
Naive implementations would indeed expose this problem - when you create a new data structure instead of updating an existing one in-place, you have to have some overhead.
Different languages have different ways of dealing with this, and there are a few tricks most of them use.
One strategy is garbage collection. The moment the new structure has been created, or shortly after, references to the old structure go out of scope, and the garbage collector will pick it up instantly or soon enough, depending on the GC algorithm. This means that while there is still an overhead, it is only temporary, and won't grow linearly with the amount of data.
Another one is picking different kinds of data structures. Where arrays are the go-to list data structure in imperative languages (usually wrapped in some sort of dynamic-reallocation container such as
And then there's lazy evaluation, à la Haskell. The idea is that data structures you create aren't fully created immediately; instead, they are stored as "thunks" (you can think of these as recipes for constructing the value when it's needed). Only when the value is needed does the thunk get expanded into an actual value. This means that memory allocation can be deferred until evaluation is necessary, and at that point, several thunks can be combined in one memory allocation.
In addition to what has been said in other answers, I would like to mention the Clean programming language, which supports so-called unique types. I do not know this language but I suppose that unique types support some kind of "destructive update".
In other words, while the semantics of updating a state is that you create a new value from an old one by applying a function, the uniqueness constraint can allow the compiler to reuse data objects internally because it knows that the old value will not be referenced any more in the program after the new value has been produced.
For more details, see e.g. the Clean homepage and this wikipedia article
I only know a little about Clojure and it's Immutable Data Structures.
Graphically, we can represent something like this:


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I am interested in learning how to play Dwarf Fortress. Where should I start, as an absolute beginner?
I like this set of tutorials. It's based on the old version but it goes through the steps of building a fortress pretty well.
Captain Duck has a great series of video tutorials (http://www.youtube.com/user/captnduck). Most of them are for pre-2010 versions, but they still give a great intro to the game, and he has started to make a couple of videos for the 2010 version. He starts the tutorials at the absolute beginning, and walks you through everything.
If you have any specific questions, the dwarf fortress wiki is a great place to look (http://df.magmawiki.com/).
Different styles work better for different people, but I learned the fun way:
If you're stuck on something specific, there's nothing wrong with looking at a tutorial or checking the wiki, but try not to over-research before you really get your feet wet. One of the coolest things about learning to play DF is discovering all of the neat/interesting/strange/complex things that the world does and researching too much before hand will diminish the sense of discovery.
Learn how to feed and hydrate your dwarfs.
Specifically, learn how to farm: mill plants into flour with a quern and cook that flour into meals at a kitchen, and brew alcohol at a still.
There's a Quickstart guide at The Dwarf Fortress Wiki, which is an invaluble reference site. I didn't have any issues applying the previous version's tutorial(v0.28.181.40d) to the current version(v0.31.10).
Getting Started with Dwarf Fortress is a book that's been recently released and is a great way to learn to play.
It's by Peter Tyson, the same guy who wrote the The Complete and Utter Newbie Tutorial for Dwarf Fortress.
I would also recommend the #DwarfFortress channel on quakenet. If you do not know how to use IRC you can plug that channel into http://webchat.quakenet.org and get on. There is usually tons of people around, just be patient as they might not instantly answer


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Do Christoffel symbols commute? For example, does $\Gamma^{e}_{db}\Gamma^{c}_{ea} = \Gamma^{c}_{ea}\Gamma^{e}_{db}$?
In classical theory, all observables commute. The components $\Gamma^a_{bc}$ are just real numbers so of course that they commute.
In quantum theory, they don't commute. It's probably a bit laborious to calculate the commutator.
No they don't commute in this sense, except you screwed up the commutator. It should be
$$\Gamma^{e}_{db}\Gamma^c_{ea} - \Gamma^c_{eb}\Gamma^{e}_{da}$$
Which is
$$ \Gamma_b \Gamma_a - \Gamma_a \Gamma_b $$
in a matrix form, where I have taken one upper and one lower index and suppressed them in the Christoffel symbol (which lower index doesn't matter, becuase of the symmetry on the lower indices). This has the interpretation I give below.
The Christoffel symbols are the coordinate form of the infinitesimal rotations associated with parallel transporting a vector a ways along a short distance. If all the frames were orthonormal, the parallel transport would be SO rotations, and the infinitesimal form would be a bunch of stuff in the Lie Algebra of SO, and these are antisymmetric matrices (or the upper index representation of antisymmetric forms for the Lorentzian case). Their commutators tell you when the rotations corresponding to moving in a certain direction is noncommutative with the rotation corresponding to moving in another direction.
For a coordinate basis for the tangent space, the basis vectors are not orthonormal, so the connection coefficients don't obey the Lie algebra conditions, but they still stay noncommutative. You can easily verify this in a generic example by direct computation, but it is also obvious from those cases where you happen to choose coordinates where the coordinate basis is orthogonal, like spherical coordinates, and think about the different coordinate rotations associated with parallel transport in different infinitesimal directions.
This might be overkill, but here it goes:
Let $\pi:E\rightarrow B$ be an arbitrary fiber bundle with typical fiber $F$ and $\Phi=\tau\times\varphi$ be a local trivialization over $U\subset B$ $$ \Phi:\pi^{-1}(U)\rightarrow U\times F $$
Geometrically, the Christoffel symbol $\Gamma$ of a connection is an element $$ \Gamma\in\mathrm{Hom}(\tau^*(\mathrm TU),\varphi^*(\mathrm TF)) $$ which is a fancy way of saying that for each $e\in E$, there is a linear map $$ \Gamma(e):\mathrm T_{\tau(e)}U\rightarrow\mathrm T_{\varphi(e)}F $$
In general, talking about the composition $$ \Gamma(e)\circ\Gamma(e') $$ makes no sense as domain and codomain don't agree.
In relativity however, $E=\mathrm TB$ which allows us to identify these spaces and we end up with $$ \Gamma(V):\mathrm T_bU\rightarrow\mathrm T_bU $$ where $V\in\mathrm T_bU$ is a tangent vector, eg a 4-velocity.
As $\Gamma(V)$ is linear, it can be expressed in local coordinates via matrix multiplication $$ W^i\mapsto\Gamma(V)^i{}_j W^j $$ In case of the Levi-Civita connection, the map $$ V\mapsto\Gamma(V) $$ is linear as well and we arrive at $$ W^i\mapsto(\Gamma_k V^k)^i{}_j W^j = \Gamma_k{}^i{}_j V^k W^j $$
The compositions read $$ (\Gamma(V)\circ\Gamma(W))^i{}_j = \Gamma_k{}^i{}_a \Gamma_l{}^a{}_j V^k W^l \\ (\Gamma(W)\circ\Gamma(V))^i{}_j = \Gamma_l{}^i{}_a \Gamma_k{}^a{}_j V^k W^l $$ which in general do not commute.


text:
Waterfront Tower | Premium | Two Queens | Non-Smoking
What Makes This Room Different
Our Waterfront Tower has different views from every angle of Atlantic City, from the massive bay window in your premium guest room, your every sense will tell you that you have, decidedly, "arrived." You'll appreciate your room's grand appointments such as a tiled entry foyer, 42" flat screen LCD TV, classic cushioned bench situated at the end of your queen-size beds and seating area complete with table and chairs. But the perks don't end there.
Refrigerator : Yes
Furniture : Yes
Window Treatments : Blackout curtains available to blockout the light from the room. Decorative shears are also available in the room to add to the ambiance.
View : Brigantine City View or Beautiful Bay View
Decor : Classic
Sheets : All beds have two sheets placed on the bed, with a comforter on top covered by another sheet for the ultimate in comfort and sanitation.
Mattress : Two Queen Simmons Beautyrest Mattresses
Square Footage : 504 square feet
Smoking/Non-Smoking : Non-smoking
Workspace : Yes
Bath Products : Shampoo/Conditioner in one, Facial Soap, Bath Soap, Shower Cap available upon request.
Makeup Mirror : Yes
Hair Dryer : Yes
Television : 42-inch LCD TV
Telephone : Two Standard Telephones Available in the room.
Alarm Clock : Yes
Iron w/ Board : Yes
Coffee Maker : Yes


text:
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When the car park is full and the driver begins following random people walking in the hope they are about to leave the car park with their cars so they can get a space.
Sarah: "Ugh J C Penneys was full of car creeps today."
av Clitty McClitus 9. februar 2012
Trending Now
someone who makes car sounds when moving around instead of using words or saying nothing at all.
a guy approaches a wall of people. Instead of saying "excuse me." to get through he makes beeping car sounds."Beep Beep!!" someone in the crowd mutters "car creep."
av wowzers101 7. september 2009


text:
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HONORED: Andrea Bell, director of workforce and community outreach, was named January Employee of the Month at Eastern Gateway Community College.
Bell joined the college in 1983 as coordinator of continuing education and workplace skills training. In 2001, she was promoted to assistant director of business/industrial training and community education and then was advanced to the director level. She also taught part-time at the college.
Her professional appointments include Knowledge Works Foundation, Ohio Bridges to Opportunity Project and as the Region 10 Ohio Skills Bank interim director. She also served on the advisory committee for the Southeast Region, Ohio Learning Network and the Workforce Policy Board of Jefferson and Belmont counties, the A.B.L.E. Workplace Literacy Training Committee, the Mahoning County Career and Technical Center's Adult Advisory Committee and the committee to create the Fourth Street Health Center.
During her tenure, Bell supported the college's grant-writing efforts, bringing in more than $5 million through federal, state and private sources. Her successful efforts provided increased programming including A.B.L.E., StepUP and workplace training programs, as well as some initial funding to renovate and establish the Pugliese Center for Workforce Development. Most recently, she led the effort that resulted in receipt of a $1.9 million Community Based Job Training grant, which provided partial funding for the college's recent expansion from one to four counties in eastern Ohio.
Bell's professional organizations include the Ohio Association of Adult and Continuing Education and the Ohio Continuing Higher Education Association.
A Richmond resident, Bell has a bachelor's degree from Ohio University.
PROMOTED: Carole Spangler will assume the role of Director of National Sales at Homer Laughlin China Co., Newell.
Joseph M. Wells III, president and chief officer of Homer Laughlin, said Spangler's role "will now include development and marketing of OEM business and product sales beyond the FIESTA brand, adding to her current responsibilities of National Account Sales. This expands Homer Laughlin's efforts to expand its product development and production as an alternative resource, Made in the USA, of vitrified ceramic products."
APPOINTED: W. Mark Tatterson has been appointed an executive vice president at United Bankshares Inc., put in charge of treasury and asset liability management, investment portfolio management and shareholder relations.
Since joining United in 1997, Tatterson has held positions in credit risk management, commercial lending and treasury, most recently serving as senior vice president of treasury. Identified as an emerging leader, he was selected to serve on United's Leadership Development Program from 2001 to 2006, chairing the program in 2006.
Tatterson earned a bachelor of science in business administration from West Virginia University with a major in finance. He is a graduate of the Stonier Graduate School of Banking, Risk Management Association's Commercial Lending School and Bond Math University.
Active in the community, he has served on numerous committees of the Mid-Ohio Valley Chamber of Commerce. He also is a member of the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Vienna, W.Va.
A native of Point Pleasant, Tatterson resides in Vienna with his wife and two children.
GAINS HONOR:Ridgewood Place Apartments in Wintersville has received the Community of Quality award from the National Affordable Housing Management Association.
Ridgewood Place located at 601 Two Ridge Road is a privately owned subsidized housing complex focused on improving and providing families with superior results, according to officials. New social service coordinator Deneen Davis has implemented numerous programs designed to help families with parenting, nutrition and educational programs, as well as assisting in maintaining stable and adequate housing with agencies within the community. Davis has a master of science degree in psychology.
MALL PLANS SIDEWALK SALE: The Fort Steuben Mall's Winter Sidewalk Sale will be Friday through Monday. Stores throughout the mall will set up tables and racks with sale items. For information, contact Steph McVicker, Fort Steuben Mall marketing director at (740) 264-7781 or firstname.lastname@example.com.
TOP EMPLOYEE: Follansbee native Kasey (Comisso) Marino was named 2011 employee of the year at UniFirst in DuBois, Pa.
Marino, a sales representative, has been with UniFirst for two years.
A 2001 graduate of Brooke High School, she earned her bachelor's degree in business administration from West Liberty University in 2006.
The daughter of Rocky Comisso of Toronto and Donna and Kevin Diserio of Follansbee, she and her husband, Daniel, make their home in DuBois.


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about to build a new system, one of the information missing in mythbuntu docs is the disk usage of a typical install for home theather pc (HTPC) usage.
not interested in fresh install or bare bones numbers.
How much does your current system uses? Not counting media, of course, but with all the essentials installed.
This box will probably work for both the backend and frontend.


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Possible Duplicate:
How not to degenerate into only a programmer who stitches together APIs?
I have almost six years of experience in java. I have developed many projects which used frameworks like Struts, Spring, Hibernate, JQuery , DWR, Ajax etc.
I have used these technologies in almost all the projects I have worked on. Projects were very simple mostly with crud based apps.
My everyday tasks involves creating few screens, writing queries, testing etc.
After all these years I feel like I have turned into an API programmer who just uses these above mentioned frameworks which is not giving me any satisfaction of being a programmer.
Is this normal or is it just me who is feeling like this?


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For my computer to verify the identity of a certain certificate should it have all the certificates up to the root certificate?
Certificate validation requires processing a whole chain from a trust anchor (a "root certificate") down to the certificate which is to be validated. So your computer must have the intermediate CA certificates at some point.
This does not mean that your computer must store those CA certificates. Protocols which handle certificates usually include some provisions to also convey a bunch of "helper objects" which include intermediate CA certificates. For instance, in SSL/TLS, the server sends its certificate along with a bunch of other certificates which are supposed to be the intermediate CA certificates that the client may use to validate the server certificate. So the client has access to the needed CA certificates right when it needs them.
It is still a good idea to keep a local cache of intermediate CA certificates, especially on modern computers where storage is cheaper than network bandwidth.
According to RFC 2549 section 3.2, under X.509 a the certificate authority (CA) that signed a server certificate may already be stored on the client computer--if it is not, the CA's certificate will need to be signed by another CA, and so on, until the chain reaches a CA whose public key is stored on the client computer. That one is generally a root certificate.
Under most X.509 implementations, however, there's nothing to stop you from storing a self-signed certificate, or one otherwise not connected to a "root CA" like Verisign, and using that to verify the server's authenticity thereafter.
OK, there's a long answer:
If you want to do it the right way, you should have every CA that is involved in building any certificate that could be used for issuing certificates used for authentication. When I say "rebuild the certificate path", I mean check that the signature on the certifiate matches up with the public key of the issuer, and the signature of the issuer matches with the public key of it's issuer and so forth until you hit a root certificate where its signature matches its own public key.
You should NEVER need to store the end entity certificate.


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Jules Bianchi or Adrian Sutil will partner Paul di Resta at Force India next season after Sebastien Buemi and Jaimie Alguersuari were both ruled out
The quartet were all linked with the seat that was left vacant following Nico Hulkenberg's departure to Sauber, but former Toro Rosso duo Buemi and Alguersuari are no longer in the running.
According to Swiss newspaper Blick, Buemi has been informed by Force India that he won't be offered the seat while Spaniard Alguersuari is set to move to BMW's DTM team.
That leaves reserve and test driver Bianchi and Sutil, who was a member of the Silverstone-based squad from 2006 until 2011, as the two remaining candidates to partner Scot Di Resta.
Reports suggest Ferrari academy driver Bianchi, who had several Friday practice outings for Force India last season, is the favourite to replace Hulkenberg.


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Published on March 3rd, 2011 | by Kelly Rand63
ReSew Giveaway and Tutorial!
I always seem to accumulate a stash of unloved clothes picked over from my closet. This pile consists of clothes that are no longer fit, or need heavy mending, or have acquired an unbeatable stain. I keep this pile with dreams of swapping with friends or donating to Goodwill. But now ReSew, a new book out by Jenny Wilding Cardon has me eyeing my discard pile with a new eye.
ReSew is chock full of projects and tutorials on transforming old clothes into something new and exciting. The patterns are fairly easy to follow and customizable. Say you're not a fan of the embellishments for the Sleeveless V or Sugar Stripes Dress? Simply leave them off!
The projects in this book range from easy to hard, and prior working knowledge of a sewing machine is a good thing to have before tackling any of the redesigns. The book also outlines some of the basic techniques and tools you should have in your skill set and supply closet.
UPDATE: Congratulations to Heatheranne99 who has won!
Are you ready for the best part? We're giving away a copy of ReSew to one lucky reader!
That's right, simply leave a comment for us on what you'd use the book for and we'll choose a winner at random. You have one week to enter and one entry per person.
Felted Basket Tutorial
The other really awesome thing is Jenny has given us this great tutorial to give you a taste of how you can revamp your clothes into something fun and new. So follow along to make this nifty felted basket. Thanks Jenny!
Next >>
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63 Responses to ReSew Giveaway and Tutorial!
I want to learn to upcycle and have a shirt that I love and want to use it as my base. I'd love to win this book to learn how.
I, too, have a stash of no longer wearable clothes waiting for new lives. This book would come in oh so handy.
Oooh, very cool! I'd love to resource our families clothes that might not be donateable, but could still get some use. I love recycling clothes and fabrics into creative new goodies.
I HAVE so many clothes that don't fit anymore! (I lost quite a bit of weight when I started running.) I'd love to be able to re-make a lot of the shirts that I still like but can't wear!
I have a 9 year old and an 11 month old… need I say more…. LOL! I would love to find ways to repurpose my oldest girl's no longer wearable things into fabulous new duds for her little sister!
I would love to use this book to update some of my own clothes, as well as for my kids too!
I love to turn old stuff into new stuff. I have been taking sewing classes in hopes to make my own clothing one day. I would love to use this book as I start my new sewing endeavors. firstname.lastname@example.com
I have some old clothes that I can't bare to part with so I would use the book to refashion some of my favorite old clothes.
I am a newly single mother with a 10 year old son and an almost 3 year old daughter. I would use this book to teach myself to sew. I have recently learned now to knit from tutorials and am ready to bite off a beginning sewing machine and start finding some projects. This is my first exposure to making things reused. While I don't have a lot since I just moved out of the home I shared with their father, I would use this book to use what I have and stop thinking of trash the same way. email@example.com
I love this! Refashioning is one of my favorite things to do with clothes. Some of my favorite articles of clothing are things that I have thrifted and remade into something new, but I could use some more inspiration to keep me going.
I love this! I have a pile of old clothes I just got from my sister with thoughts of swapping and/or altering, but have had MAJOR problems with inspiration for what to do with them. This would be GREAT!!!
Hey, great blog with full of renovated ideas/ themes in order to transform old clothes into customizable new or exciting.
-bar code generator
My kids clothes are overtaking my laundry room!! I can't for the life of me throw them away, some have stains (2 boys) and these are the ones I'd really like to repurpose into something new either for myself or add to my kids wardrobe!


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http://cause-and-effect.net/redstarathletic/ check it out you guys, newly created logo for my fan site.
http://cause-and-effect.net/redstarathletic/ check it out you guys, newly created logo for my fan site.
Hey Dex22....
U think you can create a badge for my club?
My team name is Montreal FC.... established in 2008
My colors are White, blue and Grey/Silver....
if you go on google.com under images- search "Montreal Impact" and it will be the first one that appears....
Something like that if possible!
There is the Fleur de Lyse in the background- instead of "IMPACT" in the front- 'MONTREAL FC' will suffice... and where you see 'Montreal' you can put 'est. 2008'....
Thank You in advance -
Looking forward to seeing what you come up with!
Thanks Dex much appreciated
Could you have a stab at this one for me?
Team name is : Halesowen Hobos
Badge Shape Crest shape, similar to the aston villa badge shape
Colours Yellow/green
Features (pic or design) http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...er_mug.svg.png included
Writing included (Club name, Motto or date founded?) Club name
additional... (angled, glassed effect?) Nope :P
Cheers m8
Last edited by Veremaugh; 24-10-2008 at 13:10.
Hi Dex badge is great any way to get it bigger its lost when I upload it got quite a big background, don't worry if not cheers for your hard work
Top man Cheers once again
Hi Dex,
Im a Mod in gw DENNIS soon to be off to saunders! my team are called The Wombles (hit tv show) a badge inline with that theme would be much appreciated, if at all possible.
Mark Quinn
Hi all, I made my own badge and would like to upload it here, but somehow I can only add images from internet. On the Posting rules it says "You may not post attachments", that might be it, although i don`t know why i can`t.
Anyways its not near the quality of the badges in here, but you badge makers must be using som sort of pro-style program, and im stuck with paint :P
Could anyone pls give me a hint on how I can upload it?
SKB, make an account on Flickr or www.Photobucket.com , then upload it there and link. Couldn't be easier
No more requests via email you guys
Ok, i created my Photobucket account and uploaded my picture. I feel like i at least managed to make the logo useable, but i couldn`t find out how to make it circular (that is to cut the yellow background) and it wasn`t the best pattern around the edges either.
Anyways it mostly captures the idea i had, but myself in combination with paint has its limits
Thanks for the link tho
Can we still request a badge?
I should have done it ages ago, but wasn't sure if i was gonna stay with FML.
But i am
If so, my team is Metalheads United.
Black and Red badge please, maybe black outlines or something, red base?
Also a metal theme, as in the music.
Maybe some devil horns (the thing you do with your hand, index and little finger stretched out, rest of hand closed)
Maybe something like a lightning bolt as well?
Let me know
working down the list im at lestatfc the now, please post if ive missed you. not been paying attention lately.
Also i transferred back to lineker, was gonna wait it out but im impatient lol. Any of you guys got a better idea what GW to go to?
Last edited by dex22; 28-10-2008 at 14:25.
Hey man any chance you can do me 2 badges as my name change may come through as either depending on availability once they have worked through being able to.
Merseyside Reds Football Club - Red, white and green with a Liverpool theme including the liver bird (in any form incl like their banner one) in there but a round badge rather than like liverpools sheild. Other than that its free range with that guide.
The other being same but with the name AFC Merseyside rest as above so can just change text if needs be
Hello Dex,
I was wondering what No. request you are currently working on. I submitted a requested (message No. 200) a few weeks ago. I'm sure you have a lot of requests, just wanted to make sure my wasn't missed.
San Demos Devils
message no 107
I'm post 143, you're post 200, and he's a couple of badges away from doing me. Requests die down a bit after me though I think, so you haven't got too long to wait.
yeah alot of the posts are displays of the badges created
Keep up the good work Dex... the practice is paying off
starting to catch up with the list so anymore requests are more than welcome.
If I coul put my two pence in, perhaps "Spencer" and "United" could go on different lines, that would make the badge seem more "full". Also, perhaps if you made the writing more bold it would stand out more against the bright green.
Suggest whoever has the desired finished badge should go to the thread get yourself setup with a kit aswell
I don't know whether you're still making badges but, if you are, I'd be grateful if you made one for my team; Wasps FC.
I'd like it to be similar to the Chelsea badge - circular, with a picture in the middle with "WASPS" at the top, and "FOOTBALL CLUB" at the bottom.
Badge shape: Circular
Colours: Primarily black and yellow, with white if needed.
Features: Picture of a wasp in the middle
Writing included: WASPS FOOTBALL CLUB
Here you guys, was talking about getting yourselves a kit to go with the badge, best option would be the guy called fusion.
I've tried to make one, but when i see yours, i see that mine is crap:P
Can you please try to make one for me including the below features?
Colors: mainly A salmon pink and black. like the colors of palermo, if you know that one.
Picture: A flying fish (preferably a suicidal one, since the team name means Suicidal Flying Fish)
Name; S.S. Battenti Pesce Suicida
Other: Would be nice if you could put in the text: "CACCIA UCCIDERE MORIRE" and if you find it appealing "ANNO 2008"
Style: I would like something that looks kinda western, like you know those "REWARD 10000 dead or alive"-kinda thing? :P
In advance: Thanks alot, wont forget this:P
Hi, i hae tried mangmy own badge but they look very poor compared to your badges. I was wondering if u could make one for me. the following link has a picture of my local teams badge
can u possibly design my badge the same as this wih a glazed effect. if u can email me it email@example.com i would be eternally greatful.
Many thanks
Hiya m8, can i have a badge made please!
Team Name- Canon Fodder
Colours- Gold and MAroon
Image- http://www.canonfromecricketclub.co....order/logo.jpg
Style- Don't Mind
Also i don't mind if u change the logo to gold if it suits the design!
Hey Dex, great start, could you possibly get a ship (along the lines of this one) in there?
Also, if you give it maybe a red or black border, just to give it more of a 3D effect.
Thanks ALOT
Last edited by Sanssouci; 02-11-2008 at 22:09.
Thanks a ton bro Looks brilliant.
Hey, one thing - how do I get rid of the white background?
No name yet, i like it though.
From now on guys if you want a png version so it gets rid of the white background send me your email address via private and ill be happy to send you the png one for the client.
Aha, see I made the mistake of not reading what the thread was about
Thought it was just a Tony Hart stylee 'send in your pictures' thing. Ignore me.
Here is mine.
had this for ages tbh
Listen you guys, appreciate the showing off the badges and stuff but stick to requests please. Although creating a tony hart thread may be quite funny.
Hi. I wonder if anyone will help me come up with a badge for my team - The Posh Rams. I know people are probably inundated for requests but it would be awesome if i could have a badge, so excited for clough gameworld launch date!
Anyway hope someone will be able to help - if not will be down to my pathetic attempts on paint!
Team Name: Posh Rams
Team Colours: Blue, Black and White
Would like a badge with the Derby County Ram in it, The Name Posh Rams and possibly a crown for the DCFC Ram.
If any more info is required, please message me...although anything you can come up with will be appreciated.
Finish! looks absolutely perfect, couple of nice ideas although i tried to incorporate the celtic theme you requested wasnt gonna happen though mate especially with the rest of the stuff in it.
You want the png without the white background feel free to send your email to prive and ill email u it!
Last edited by dex22; 03-11-2008 at 15:21.
Brilliant, thanks Dex
Re: Badge Creations here
Originally Posted by gibbo112
hey man i know you have a lot on your plate but may i have a badge please
Name: Luton Legends
Shape: Luton Town F.C Badge
Colours: White and Black
Features: Something to do with legends and the livebird from the liverpool badge
Moto: Legends
Not sure i like this 100% not finished obviously just looking your opinion on it so far mate any ideas would help also. This is a modified version of the luton badge.
hey dont know how to make quotes lol but thats perfect thanks dex
glad u like it mate
First off it's very nice of you to be making badges for people for nothing, good to know that there are still some good folks out there!
If you have time to make a badge i would really appreciate one for my team,
Colors: Levi Orange(http://www.wpclipart.com/education/g..._star.png.html) and black
Name: World Class F.C.
Slogan: Here to Entertain!
I'd like something smart with a gloss but that wouldn't make me look like a snob(World Class F.C. is bad enough!) I don't know how you can do that or if even you understand what that means because i don't really understand what i mean
Thanks a lot mate, let me know if you can do it and if you can post it on the thread later i will thank you on there,
Good day,
Check it out you guys, need help
Right guys listen, gonna put a hold on requests the now im going on holiday thursday to holland, wont be back till monday night and a few of the GW are opening during this time so to avoid letting any of you guys down or going into a GW minus a shiny new badge, no more badge requests until further notice ok lads. all requests that have been put in ill work extra hard to get up to date.
Cheers guys
Did my best with this one mate, enjoyed your detailed request but with my very limited knowledge of deathnote i did a wee bit of research and the best idea i could come up with is to make it as negative and morbid as possible, the font is keeping in check with the graphical novel thing and so is the texturised badge. hope you like it mate
Hi Dex,
Just wondered if u can make me a Kosovo Flag for FM 2008, please check the flag here:
Coat of Arms
I thank you so much if u can make this 4 me.
Thanx a lot in advance!!!
Off on holiday today you guys, see u when lineker begins
hi just wondered if u could please design me a badge for my team the Wight Warriors, as in the isle of wight !!(iow)
was looking for a sort of diamond design in the badge as this is the shape of the isle of wight and incorporate this design as i think its cool not fussed on colours etc let your creative juices flow
thanks in advance.....
Hey dex22 first up badges are fantastic that youve made
first up i really like the badges tweej made for fishburn athletic and warrington town football club id really like my badge to be similar....
Badge shape - a shield with an eagle
colours - Purple and Gold
club name- Vermont United FC
motto - lascivio pro palma (for motto just somewhere small but suttle)
date founded - 2008
maybe an eagle connected creature a gryphon i dont know ill leave it to your creative mind to fix me something
i really dont want anything to modern i like the classic logo's
get back to me if possible by pm or in here thanks mate!!!


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5 Halloween Parties Too Badass to Be Real (That Totally Are)
Let's face it, Halloween will never be as cool as it was when you were a kid. Yes, as an adult you get the joy of slutty costumes and spending the evening drunk, but it's just not the same. Haunted houses aren't scary, costumes are lame and the parties are just cardboard decorations and people weeping quietly (your experiences there may vary).
Well, it turns out you just need to know where to go. There are some places where the true spirit of Halloween lives on in grand fashion ...
#5. Eastern State Penitentiary's Badass Haunted House
First, let's talk about the Halloween staple, the haunted house. Unless you're 12, you probably can't remember the last time you were actually scared at one of these. Sure, you might have been startled at one, when the guy with the hockey mask and toy chainsaw jumped out at you. But not scared. You're far too old and jaded to ever go running home to mommy because of some big building with cheesy horror decorations taped to the walls.
Now allow Pennsylvania to prove you wrong with Terror Behind the Walls. It's a Halloween attraction (talk about stretching a term) set in Eastern State Penitentiary, a goddamn bona fide haunted prison complex.
Once you enter, you can never leave (except through the gift shop).
Built in 1829, the ESP had a reputation as a pretty nightmarish place when it was operational -- a visiting Charles Dickens described it as "worse than any torture of the body."
"Although a lot of that is just Philadelphia."
And the people who ran the place were as insane as the environment -- they happily imprisoned and messed up prisoners as young as 12 and even goddamn dogs. Combine that with some fairly creative torture methods, such as "the mad chair," and it should come as no surprise that reports of paranormal activity on the site have been pretty abundant. And now, every Halloween, the long-closed penitentiary opens its doors to allow the public to revel in its arrested decay.
They've even kept some of the prisoners around on a steady diet of man flesh.
This, by the way, means the building is as abandoned as Chernobyl and about as well preserved, so it might be a good idea to make sure your Halloween costume includes a hard hat.
And maybe a dental dam.
The Terror Behind the Walls event is a "low gore" walk through the pants-shitting premises, with plenty of actual gory historical facts mixed with balls-out-insane ghost stories to go with the top-notch production values. It all adds up to the scariest Halloween event in America.
An honor taken last year by that terrible Rocky Horror episode of Glee.
Yeah, if you think you're too cool to be scared by masked actors chasing after you, you need to experience it happening while you're walking through the crumbling real-life equivalent of Arkham Asylum.
A haunted one.
This is why Batman has Robin -- bait.
And while we're on the subject of haunted houses ...
#4. Steampunk Haunted House: Through the Looking Glass
If you don't have a "clearly really haunted" prison to turn into a haunted house, you can still present a pretty kickass experience. All it takes is a high production value and a little style. For instance, there's the Steampunk Haunted House in New York.
Behold Hipsterween.
It has so many advantages over its "fake blood and plastic skeletons" peers that it's almost unfair. First off, it's steampunk themed, which is creepy all by itself. Second, it's based on Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking-Glass, the freakier sequel to the already pretty deranged Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
We're not sure what the label on her cupcake said, but we're not touching it.
And trust us, that unholy combination works. Until NASA finds a way to actually enter Wonderland through a steampunk Stargate, Third Rail Projects' Steampunk Haunted House: Through the Looking Glass remains as close as you'll come to Looking-Glass Land this side of American McGee's Alice. Third Rail's take on the Ye Olde Haunted House routine is basically a straight-up steampunk museum in a century-old playhouse decked out in a Wonderland theme. It focuses on only the darker themes of Carroll's work, and also all your favorite Alice characters and settings now look like this:
Chad Heird
This is far more accurate than the Disney version ever was.
And while you do have a tour guide, his main function is, in true Carroll fashion, to deliberately get you lost, give you impossible tasks and turn off the lights just when you need them.
Adding to the insanity cake mix is the fact that the whole building is as deliberately nonsensical as New York housing law will allow. In short: Picture dropping acid before watching the animated Alice in Wonderland, and you'll have a fraction of an idea what you're in for.
Taking acid before visiting the Steampunk Haunted House ends with either the morgue or a bestselling children's novel.
#3. Halloween at the House on the Rock
So as you can see, the best Halloween hangouts are the kind of places that are terrifying year-round. Which brings us to House on the Rock, aka The Most Insane Place in America.
Architect Alex Jordan Sr. and his son Alex Jordan Jr. started building House on the Rock as a way to get back at Frank Lloyd Wright, who thought Jordan Sr. was a hack and kicked him out of his art school. We can tell Senior took this a bit personally, because he immediately started planning and building the most mind-bending house his peculiar architectural style could come up with -- in the vicinity of Wright's own house in Wisconsin. Then, the son turned the house's rooms into loosely themed crap exhibitions and proceeded to live his life in seclusion like a poor man's Howard Hughes.
In terms of taint-curling horror and giant sea monsters, he was as rich as creosote.
Every single inch of the House on the Rock is a horror movie waiting to happen. Let's begin with the Infinity Room, which juts out 218 feet for no other reason than to mess with your head.
Well this just seems infinitely unscary.
The terrifying part is that the room is quite high from the ground and has no supports underneath. Here's the outside:
When you enter the Infinity Room, you're essentially walking a 200-foot long plank, hoping against hope that Jordan Sr. (who, remember, was laughed out of the profession by one of the most influential architects in history) had his shit together.
Speaking of which, let's take a look at the other rooms. The house features several "exhibitions," with all exhibits out in the open and contributing to the peculiar smell of rot that permeates the building. One room gives us what is allegedly the world's largest indoor carousel.
Or at least the largest possessed carousel.
Another features a frozen orchestra of mannequins.
No music. Just a steady stream of muffled coughs and far-off screams.
There's a circus room ...
... a room full of organs ...
All completely unplayable by the hands of man.
... an indoor old-timey street that brings to mind the Rapture ...
"Those hats belong to the previous occupants. They left rather suddenly."
... and another orchestra, only these are controlled by invisible robots, because everything is better with robots.
Ghosts, too.
Wow. That's just ... wow. It's as if they've taken everything even remotely sinister in life and put them under the same roof to bear upon the wary visitor.
And then there's the Halloween parties. Last year, for instance, the House on the Rock hosted a costume contest (judged by Neil Gaiman), and the winners got to ride that enormous carousel. Although, as evidenced by their disclaimer on Facebook, this is not necessarily a reward -- the riders are specifically told not to bring "open flames, weapons, smoke and sharp projections" and that "as the carousel was not meant to be ridden, there are sharp claws, fragile appendages, etc."
So, it's a carousel with sharp claws that was not meant to be ridden, and you're specifically told not to take weapons with you? There is no way you're getting out with your soul intact.
Or your lunch.