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Read an Excerpt
Jewish Wit and Wisdom
By Herb Galewitz
Dover Publications, Inc.Copyright © 2001 Dover Publications, Inc.
All rights reserved.
The best you get is an even break.
The best part of the fiction in many novels is the notice that the characters are all purely imaginary.
Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
Count that day won when, turning on its axis, this earth imposes no additional taxes.
The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money.
If you want to feel important, go on a diet.
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you.
A house is not a home.
A woman can be evaluated by her cooking, her dressing — and her husband.
If you don't eat garlic, they'll never smell it on your breath.
Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.
Adam was the luckiest man: he had no mother-in-law.
If you want to live forever ... move to our town of Kasrilevka [a town where everyone is poor]. There you can never die, because since Kasrilevka has been a town, no rich man has ever died there.
It's no disgrace to be poor, but it's no great honor, either.
A kind word is no substitute for a piece of herring or a bag of oats.
The real "Jewish Question" is this: From what can a Jew earn a living?
Even if the kugel doesn't quite work out, you still have the noodles.
I have a wife, you have a wife, we all have wives, we've had a taste of paradise, we know what it means to be married.
As we say on Yom Kippur, the Lord decides who will ride on horseback and who will crawl on foot. The main thing is — hope!
Change means movement, movement means friction, friction means heat, and heat means controversy. The only place where there is no friction is outer space or a seminar on political action.
But it turns out in New York State they have a very funny law that says you can't get a divorce unless you can prove adultery, and that's very strange because the Ten Commandments say, "Thou shalt not commit adultery." So New York State says you have to.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night.
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
If only God would give me some clear sign, like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Do you have a family tree? We ain't even got a flowerpot.
Summer is the time for those weekend auto trips. One day driving, two days folding the road map.
A bachelor is a man who goes to work every day from a different direction.
Marriage is wonderful. Without it husbands and wives would have to fight with strangers.
Power corresponds to the human ability not just to act but to act in concert. Power is never the property of an individual; it belongs to a group and remains in existence only so long as the group keeps together.
The hypocrite's crime is that he bears false witness against himself.
The best security for old age: respect your children.
It has always been much like writing a check ... It is easy to write a check if you have enough money in the bank, and writing comes more easily if you have something to say.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
The best way to lose weight is to eat all you want of everything you don't like.
A political leader must keep looking over his shoulder all the time to see if the boys are still there. If they aren't still there, he's no longer a political leader.
To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
I'm not smart. I try to observe. Millions saw the apple fall but Newton was the one who asked why.
Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his experience. He must use it. Experience achieves more with less energy and time.
When the outlook is steeped in pessimism I remind myself, "Two and two still make four, and you can't keep mankind down for long."
An elder statesman is somebody old enough to know his own mind and keep quiet about it.
We didn't all come over on the same ship, but we're all in the same boat.
I was the son of an immigrant. I experienced bigotry, intolerance and prejudice, even as so many of you have. Instead of allowing these things to embitter me, I took them as spurs to more strenuous effort.
There are no such things as incurables, there are only things for which man has not found a cure.
Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings.
Psychoanalysis was a wonderful discovery; it made quite simple people feel they are complex.
If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.
Man's life is not a business.
In Israel, in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.
Learning begins with listening.
Governments last as long as the undertaxed can defend themselves against the overtaxed.
Between the truth and the search for the truth, I choose the second.
Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
Sexual relationships are often like an hourglass; one single point of contact.
Love and romance is something everybody needs and that's irregardless.
After Molly gave Jake some money to go into business, they sat down to dinner and Jake said: "Molly, darling, some day we will be eating out of golden plates." Molly said, "Jake, darling, will it taste any better?"
Not all lovesick maidens are maidens — sometimes they're women, also.
Money is of no consequence unless you owe it.
There are surface differences. To me, the really interesting and beautiful thing is that these surface differences only serve to emphasize how much alike most people are underneath.
Women without principle draw considerable interest.
A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody
Liberty is liberty, not equality or fairness or justice or human happiness or a quiet conscience.
The materialist is a Calvinist without a God.
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.
He drinks beer, a habit no more bacchanalian than taking enemas.
We suffer primarily not from our vices or weaknesses, but from our illusions. We are haunted, not by reality, but by those images we have put in place of reality.
Nothing is real unless it happens on television.
Judaism is going to be to American culture what Buddhism was to the eighties. This is going to be the Jewish millenium.
The greatest menace to freedom is an inert people.
The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.
We can have democracy in this country or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both.
The right to be let alone is the most comprehensive of rights and the right most valued in civilized man.
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
Experience teaches us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purposes are beneficent.
If we would guide by the light of reason, we must let our minds be bold.
I think all of our human experience shows that no one with absolute power can be trusted to give it up even in part.
There's no fool like an old fool — you can't beat experience.
Men always fall for frigid women because they put on the best show.
I'm a bad voman, but I'm dem good company.
Master Mind! He couldn't Master Mind an electric bulb into a socket.
For $10,000 I'd endorse an opium pipe.
Life — the way it really is — is a battle not between Bad and Good but between Bad and Worse.
Look at Jewish history; unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So, for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast beaters. By the time I was five, I knew I was that one.
Max Bialystok (Zero Mostel): Leo, he who hesitates is poor.
(from The Producers)
2000-Year-Old Man [on the secret of longevity]: The major thing is I never ever touch fried food. I don't eat it and I wouldn't look at it. And I never run for a bus. There'll always be another.
2000-Year-Old Man: I have 42,000 children and not one comes to visit me.
I'll always be accused of bad taste, especially by people who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
If you could tell me Christ or Moses, for instance, would say to some kid, "Hey, that's a white fountain; you can't drink out of there," you're out of your skull. No one can tell me Christ or Moses would do that.
When a man has made peace within himself, he will be able to make peace in the whole world.
When a man is intimate with his wife, the longing of the eternal hills wafts about them.
Yet whoever hates directly is closer to a relation than those who are without love and hate.
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
I lived in a pretty tough neighborhood. You either grew up to be a judge or you went to the chair.
Even the great Montezuma, the man who said, "Stop that dancing in the halls" ... never had a dinner in his honor.
The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.
The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there it's there.
Two dollars will buy all the happiness or all the misery in the world. At least, that used to be the price of a marriage license.
There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist — the taxidermist leaves the hide.
Abstract art? A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
Justice is not to be taken by storm. She is to be wooed by slow advances.
Liberty in the most literal sense is negation of law, for law is restraint; the absence of restraint is anarchy.
Justice, though due to the accused, is due to the accuser, too.
Prophecy, however honest, is generally a poor substitute for experience.
"Kildare? This is Dr. Gillespie. Do you know what you did this morning, you young whelp? You performed an appendectomy with a milkhidek scalpel!"
Art is the unceasing effort to compete with the beauty of flowers, and never succeeding.
A definition of law is useful or useless. It is not true or false.
Generally, the theories we believe we call facts, and the facts we disbelieve we call theories.
Legal concepts are supernatural entities which do not have a verifiable existence except to the eyes of faith.
The business of the philosopher is well done if he succeeds in raising genuine doubts.
But I still maintain that, by all the canons of our modern books on comparative religion, baseball is a religion, and the only one that is not sectarian but national.
All peoples have pious fictions and sacrosanct expressions which make free thought and honest speech seem improper. This is true even among people noted for their progress in science and technology.
... the main function of teaching philosophy should be the opening of the human mind to new possibilities, rather than the inculcation of any new set of doctrines.
Science is a flickering light in our darkness, but it is the only one we have and woe to him who would put it out.
For where the basis of distinction is only the attainment of wealth, everybody tries to appear on a level higher than his own.
Love is a "grand" word that carries a rich afflatus with it; but for the solution of social problems we cannot dispense with the requisite critical intelligence.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than just with a kind word.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
After I decided to become a Jew, only then did I learn the Jews don't really have all the money. When I found out Rockefeller and Ford were goyim I almost resigned.
Judges are the weakest link in our system of justice and they are the most protected.
Man doth not live by bread only.
Composers shouldn't think too much — it interferes with their plagiarism.
Everyone likes flattery; and when you come to royalty you should lay it on with a trowel.
Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
Description is always a bore, both to the describer and the describee.
"Frank and explicit" is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and confuse the mind of others.
If you are not very clever, you should be conciliatory.
If you wish to win a man's heart, allow him to confute you.
A precedent embalms a principle.
Plagiarists, at least, have the merit of preservation.
I am bound to furnish my antagonists with arguments, but not with comprehension.
Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.
Finality is not the language of politics.
The characteristic of the present age is craven credulity.
Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing in life is to know when to forgo an advantage.
The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it.
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
The defects of great men are the consolation of dunces.
Beware the man of one book.
The wise make proverbs and fools repeat them.
Those who do not read criticism will rarely merit to be criticized.
The paradox is that those people who left only monuments behind as a record of their existence have vanished with time, whereas the ones who left ideas have survived.
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
To read some of the most important of contemporary writers, one would think they never had a gay moment or that they could not tolerate such a heresy among others.
One of the pet illusions of the reformer and the intellectual is that it is impossible to be serious without being solemn.
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotism.
Never did Mozart write for eternity, and it is for precisely that reason that much of what he wrote is for eternity.
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
I am absolutely convinced that no wealth in the world can help humanity forward, even in the hands of the most devoted worker in this cause ... Money only appeals to selfishness and irresistibly invites abuse. Can anyone imagine Moses, Jesus, or Gandhi armed with the moneybags of Carnegie?
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
God is subtle — but he is not malicious.
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
Truth is what stands the test of experience.
When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute — and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity.
The discovery of nuclear chain reaction need not bring about the destruction of mankind any more than the discovery of matches.
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Excerpted from Jewish Wit and Wisdom by Herb Galewitz. Copyright © 2001 Dover Publications, Inc.. Excerpted by permission of Dover Publications, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.


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subset: commoncrawl


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Rostelecom Siberia grows to over half mln IPTV subscribersRussian national operator Rostelecom has grown its IPTV subscriber base to 540,000 in Siberia. The most significant increase was registered in the Novosibirsk, Altay and Irkutsk regions. The national operator provides its IPTV services over GPON, ... Telecompaper, 1 week ago
Rostelecom expands, upgrades network i Siberia, the Far-East - Telecompaper, 2 weeks ago
MTS upgrades 3G network in Siberia - Telecompaper, 3 weeks ago
892 images for siberia
Woman Decapitated During Sex By Passing Train — Read The Gruesome Report
A woman's head was sliced off by a speeding train while she was having sex inches away from the Trans-Siberian railway track According to Baikal Daily the woman and her partner both reported to be homeless were having a go close to a station in ...Uncova, 1 week ago Sex on railway tracks deprives woman of her head Pravda, 1 week ago Woman Decapitated During s*x By Passing Train Uncova, 1 week ago Woman Beheaded By A Passing Train While Having Sex On Railway Track Malaysian Digest, 1 week ago
Bronze Age Couple Unearthed in Russia
IRKUTSK, RUSSIA— The Siberian Times reports that the skeletons of a man and a woman who had been buried holding hands some 4,500 years ago have been unearthed near Lake Baikal. Dmitry Kichigin of Irkutsk National Research Technical University said ...Archaeology Magazine, 1 week ago Skeleton Couple Holding Hands For 5,000 Years Discovered In Secret Grave In Siberia Inquisitr, 1 week ago
Fears of bubonic plague outbreak as Siberian boy fights Black Death after skinning a marmot
A 10-year-old boy is fighting for his life in a hospital in Siberia after contracting the bubonic plague while skinning a marmot. Thousands of vaccines are being rushed to the remote Kosh-Agach district in the Altai Mountains to prevent the 'Black ...International Business Times UK, 1 week ago Russian boy contracts bubonic plague Northern Territory Government, 1 week ago Boy hospitalized with bubonic plague in Siberia Tass.ru, 1 week ago Boy contracts bubonic plague from marmot Sky News Australia, 1 week ago
East of Siberia: Tigers and the Art of Persuasion
The temperate rainforests of Primorye become dense and green in summer, a vastness lost on those within it. Visibility can drop to almost zero along shrub-crowded game trails, where dew-drenched grasses cling like needy toddlers and spider webs ...Scientific American, 1 week ago
Commodities Buzz: Russia TML Supplies Two Major Natural Gas Transmission Project
Russia tubes producer TMK has announced that the company will provide to the Power of Siberia and UKHTA's second of natural gas pipeline construction. The project was for Russia gas company Gazprom's major gas transportation projects. Therefore, ...India Infoline, 1 week ago
It took month to put out forest fire in Barguzin reserve in Siberia
According to Buryatia's Forestry agency press service, the fire started in a remote mountainous area, so the fire-fighters were transported to the area by air Read also ULAN-UDE, July 14. /TASS/. The forest protection service and smoke jumpers have ...Tass.ru, 1 week ago Production of mammoth tusk in Siberia News EasyBranches.com, 2 weeks ago RUSSIA: Crashed IL 76 Helicopter Located in Siberia July 03 Herald Sun, 3 weeks ago Russian plane crashes in Siberia, at least 6 dead Times of India, 3 weeks ago
Russia firefighter jet crash kills all on board in Siberia
Moscow: Russian firefighters on Sunday found the remains of a crashed plane that went missing Friday with ten people on board while putting out wildfires in Siberia. The tail of the Il-76 emergencies ministry plane was found north of Irkutsk, in ...The Gulf Today, 3 weeks ago No survivors found in remains of crashed Russian firefighter plane Malay Mail, 3 weeks ago A Russian firefighting plane with 10 people on board went missing today Zee News, 3 weeks ago Russian firefighting plane missing with 10 on board Deccan Chronicle, 3 weeks ago
Stroytransgaz building second Power of Siberia pipeline section for 27.2 bln rubles
MOSCOW. July 8 (Interfax) - Stroytransgaz (STG) is building the 93-km second section of the Power of Siberia gas pipeline for 27.219 billion rubles, Gazprom (MOEX: GAZP) said in materials. The second section runs from Lensk, which is 207.7 km into ...Interfax.com, 2 weeks ago Gas supplies to China over Power of Siberia may start from 2019 to 2021 — Gazprom Tass.ru, 3 weeks ago Gazprom cuts expenditures for Power of Siberia to $2.8 bln in 2016 Tass.ru, 3 weeks ago
Seoul sees need to step up cooperation with Russia in Far East and Siberia - S. Korean Foreign Ministry
MOSCOW. July 7 (Interfax) - Russia and South Korea ought to make efforts to promote their cooperation in different industries in the Far East and Siberia, South Korean Deputy Foreign Minister Kim Hyoung-zhin said. "The Far East region and Siberia ...Interfax.com, 2 weeks ago Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade of Repub : Deputy Foreign Minister for Political Affairs to Visit Russia 4 Traders, 2 weeks ago South Korean diplomat to discuss Pyongyang's nuclear program in Moscow on July 7-8 Tass.ru, 2 weeks ago South Korean Deputy Foreign Minister to Visit Moscow on Thursday Sputnik, 2 weeks ago
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Communities (26)
Top Network Posts
- 93Fatal error compiling: invalid target release: 1.8 -> [Help 1]
- 34What are the advantages of Scala's companion objects vs static methods?
- 28What is meant by, "A user shouldn't decide whether it is an Admin or not. The Privileges or Security system should."
- 26How far can airplanes glide?
- 19Can you have an email address with only the top level domain as the domain part?
- 14Keeping my .org files in sync across multiple computers
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Historically the CAPE ratio has worked well in predicting the future real returns of stock markets. But recently the earnings side of the CAPE ratio has come under increased scrutiny. Read more9 Comments
Performance Measurement & Evaluation
Non-GAAP company performance measures are growing in prominence. Is this a good thing for investors who rely so strongly on accounting numbers for evaluating performance and valuing businesses? A recent CFA Institute webinar explored the issue. Read more5 Comments
We asked CFA Institute Financial NewsBrief readers how long investment teams could underperform at their firms before they should start to worry about their jobs, and their responses confirmed that the pressure is real. Read more2 Comments
In the leading Enterprising Investor posts from May, Mark Harrison, CFA, imagines a world without the insight of the late Jack L. Treynor; Sameer S. Somal, CFA, considers the intangibles of having your own firm; and Scott Krisiloff, CFA, plows through the recent avalanche of earnings reports for a sense of the consensus C-suite view on the economy. Read moreLeave a Comment
Imagine for a moment an investment world without the accomplishments of Jack L. Treynor. In this imaginary Treynor-less world, mass casino psychology and fund manager guru-worship might rule, unchallenged by any metrics other than crude popularity and marketing spend. Read moreLeave a Comment
An analysis of smart beta by Shreenivas Kunte, CFA, an exploration of the importance of due diligence by Lauren Foster, and some cautionary examples of how NOT to solicit allocators by Ted Seides, CFA, were among the leading posts from Enterprising Investor last month. Read moreLeave a Comment
Active share's popularity has largely been driven by two factors. First, it appears simple and intuitive; active share is the proportion of a portfolio's holdings that is different from the benchmark for that portfolio. Second, the investment industry has become fascinated by the debate over the link between the level of active share and outperformance of the benchmark. Read more2 Comments
Research analysts must rethink due diligence and manager selection, says Tom Brakke, CFA. Performance chasing doesn't work, and at the end of the day, an analyst's job is to crack the corporate narrative and tie the "what" to the "how." The best due diligence, Brakke says, is "field work." Read more2 Comments
So what do hamburgers and price per pound have to do with equity-oriented long-only smart beta products? A lot more than you think. Read more11 Comments
The authors provide an easy-to-read overview of key concepts in econometrics for anyone desiring a strong intuitive description of how to conduct analysis using simple techniques. Covering a limited number of topics with practical examples of each, they offer a useful framework for conducting fundamental econometric analysis. Although the book does not directly discuss financial issues, it provides a good foundational review for the financial empiricist who wishes to better structure econometric tests. Read more1 Comment


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There are reports that Vice President Joe Biden is considering a run for the presidency. Joe Biden is a decent man, he is an intelligent man, he is a brave man, he is a wonderful father to his children who witnessed horrible deaths in their family. Perhaps,perhaps, a month ago or several weeks ago his hat in the ring might have aroused joyful shouts of welcome. Sorry, Joe, that moment is past. If Biden runs it will simply hurt him and his family.
Joe, every great entertainer knows when to depart the stage, even if the audience is still applauding. Go with your dignity intact, announce support for Hillary Clinton and then move on to newer ventures. At least one good book is waiting for an author.


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Rapper Earl Sweatshirt Slams Taylor Swift's 'Offensive' + 'Harmful' 'Shake It Off' Video
Rapper Earl Sweatshirt is calling out Taylor Swift for "perpetuating black stereotypes" in her 'Shake It Off' video.
Rapper Earl Sweatshirt is calling out Taylor Swift for "perpetuating black stereotypes" in her 'Shake It Off' video.
Today is a huge day for Taylor Swift fans. First she dropped her new upbeat single 'Shake It Off,' and then she revealed the music video!
Taylor Swift popped by 'Jimmy Fallon' on Wednesday, Aug. 13 to make a few announcements and rock what she dubbed a "tri-tail" as Nerdy Natalie.
Nommin' besties! Taylor Swift and Lorde recently took their friendship to a culinary level, taking a cooking class together. See the pics here!
Taylor Swift took a break from teasing her potential Q-and-A session to walk the red carpet at the 2014 Teen Choice Awards. The singer looked stunning as always in a matching green crop top and skirt ensemble.
Taylor Swift is playing an emotionless character in the upcoming book-to-movie adaptation 'The Giver,' but the singer isn't going to be writing any emotionless songs anytime soon.
Taylor Swift wrote a piece in support of optimism, art, and the state of the economics of music today. I have her back on pretty much all points.
Taylor Swift, a regular on best-dressed lists, has a legion of red lipstick-wearing fans imitating her every fashionable move. So, naturally, when the 'Everything Has Changed' singer sat down to talk about her style, we took notes.
Taylor Swift nearly had a red carpet event disaster on her hands when her adorable but mischievous cat Meredith stuck her claws into the singer's Met Gala gown.
Taylor Swift warmed the hearts of countless fans when she made a surprise visit to Hasbro Children's Hospital in Rhode Island yesterday, March 31.
Taylor Swift can rest easy. America's sweetheart has been granted a permanent, three-year restraining order against her alleged stalker Timothy Sweet.
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DEFINITION of 'Aunt Millie'
A slang term for an uneducated or unsophisticated investor. The term is considered a derogatory remark in the financial sector, often used to refer to poor investment choices.
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BREAKING DOWN 'Aunt Millie'
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EighthedA slang term used to describe when one trader undercuts or outbids ...
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Now that my new schedule (new job) has slowly settled, I have had 1-2 hours per week to actually play a game. This is the most action my desktop has seen, other than the obligatory once-a-week update of online games.
Sure, while most gamers are jumping into (and loving) Skyriim, I have just begun to play Oblivion (heavily modded, of course). The mods make the game look so much better, but it's too bad that "Improved Cities" did nothing but give me invisible walls and bright yellow exclamation points on some houses... and to the critics: Yes, I am using Oblivion Mod Manager and Better Oblivion Sorting Software.
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Update: The Louisville PHP User Group is now on Meetup.com. Join the group for future updates.
For years I have looked for a Louisville PHP User Group. As Louisville is primarily a .NET town, my hopes for PHP have never been high. Unfortunately the Louisville tech community doesn't cross pollinate. Nonetheless, I have come across several developers and shops over the years using PHP. So there is PHP in Louisville.
If you want something done, do it yourself.
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The proposed schedule is to meet the last Wednesday of the month. Details for our first meetup are below. Please comment with your interest and help us spread the word.
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Find this interesting? Follow me on Twitter to learn about new posts and other interesting things.
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|mickhayes <mickha...@gmail.com>
|Re: from Java object to .Net object with NMS
|Wed, 18 Apr 2012 08:37:13 GMT
You need to make sure the objects match on both sides to begin with. Failing that, while I understand it's not in the [SCJP/Oracle Certified Professional Java SE Programmer] exam now (I could be wrong) you'll get a concise coverage of what you need to know if you look at material covering SCJP exam objective 3.3 "Serialization". (I'm looking at the Sierra/Bates SCJP Study Guide) ----- Michael Hayes B.Sc. (NUI), M.Sc. (DCU), SCSA SCNA -- View this message in context: http://activemq.2283324.n4.nabble.com/from-Java-object-to-Net-object-with-NMS-tp4514857p4567056.html Sent from the ActiveMQ - User mailing list archive at Nabble.com.
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Dallas Cowboys safety Gerald Sensabaugh signed his second-round tender worth $1.8 million Thursday.
Owner and general manager Jerry Jones has said he wants to sign Sensabaugh to a long-term deal, and both sides have started discussions to that end.
"Gerald signing his tender is no indication that a long-term deal is not a top priority," Sensabaugh's agent Kevin Conner said Thursday. "We are extremely confident he will be a long-term Cowboy."
In his first season with the Cowboys and sixth in the league, Sensabaugh started 15 games and finished with 66 tackles, a forced fumble and an interception. He missed one game -- Oct. 11 at Kansas City -- with a broken right thumb.
With Sensabaugh signing his tender, wide receiver Miles Austin is the Cowboys' only restricted free agent who has yet to sign. Austin, who has until June 1 to sign, has been working out with the team in OTAs and is expected to attend the mandatory minicamp in June.
"Those are players who are the future of our team," Jones said Tuesday from the NFL owners meetings. "I can speak emphatically they are very much a part of the future of the Dallas Cowboys."
Calvin Watkins covers the Cowboys for ESPNDallas.com. You can follow him on Twitter or leave a question for his weekly mailbag.


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ME28: A Sparse Unsymmetric Linear Equation Solver for Complex Equations
Full Text:
Get this Article
I. S. Duff
Computer Science & Systems Division, Building 8.9, AERE Harwell, Oxon. OX11, ORA, England
Published in:
· Journal
ACM Transactions on Mathematical Software (TOMS)
TOMS Homepage
Volume 7 Issue 4, Dec. 1981
Pages 505-511
New York, NY
table of contents
1981 Article
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ME28: A Sparse Unsymmetric Linear Equation Solver for Complex Equations
Linear equation
A linear equation is an algebraic equation in which each term is either a constant or the product of a constant and (the first power of) a single variable. Linear equations can have one or more variables. Linear equations occur with great regularity in applied mathematics.
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An equation is a mathematical statement that asserts the equality of two expressions. In modern notation, this is written by placing the expressions on either side of an equals sign (=), for example asserts that x+3 is equal to 5. The = symbol was invented by Robert Recorde (1510¿), who considered that nothing could be more equal than parallel straight lines with the same length.
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Chiral ligand
In chemistry a chiral ligand is a specially adapted ligand used for asymmetric synthesis. This ligand is an enantiopure organic compound which combines with a metal center by chelation to form an asymmetric catalyst. This catalyst engages in a chemical reaction and transfers its chirality to the reaction product which as a result also becomes chiral.
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Sparse matrix
In the subfield of numerical analysis, a sparse matrix is a matrix populated primarily with zeros. The term itself was coined by Harry M. Markowitz. Conceptually, sparsity corresponds to systems which are loosely coupled. Consider a line of balls connected by springs from one to the next; this is a sparse system. By contrast, if the same line of balls had springs connecting each ball to all other balls, the system would be represented by a dense matrix.
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ABC Sport
ABC Sport
Source: ABC News | Duration: 1min 30sec
Your day will not be ruined because a bearded man ordered a smoothie.
How much do you know from the week of news?
In the '70s James Miller was a bright teenager who loved surfing, rugby league and girls. That all changed when he was abused at his Catholic secondary college in Newcastle. Now, after years of trauma, he wants to share his story and help others recover from abuse.
By Tim Lee
He may be the three-times national ploughing champion, but Shayne Neal is more interested in bushland than farmland.


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L.A. Zoo Will Have a Carousel Made Entirely of Endangered Species (Plus a Unicorn!)
Dibs on poison dart frog.
Los Angeles Times
Never has jumping on the green train looked so goddamn fun.
Meet the Conservation Carousel at the L.A. Zoo: It's not the first of it's kind (and the Bronx Zoo beat us to an insect carousel! Jealous!), but it's the first to feature a serval, a maned wolf and a peninsular pronghorn. Also, in place of soul-crushing chimes, it will play music recorded in L.A. in the 1960s and '70s. Songs will include "Tijuana Taxi" by Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass.
In other words, once it opens to the public next week...
... it will be the finest endangered-species carousel in the land. Decidedly!
(What is it about L.A. Zoo press releases that so charm us into writing up glowing promo pieces?! Crappy PR people, take note. Hint No. 1: Throwing in some adorable animals in trouble never hurts.)
To make things even cuter, each animal can be "adopted" for $25,000. And they're all different! The money goes to rescue efforts, which will make you feel good. Plus, each donor gets a special plaque at the base of the carousel for three years. Come on -- the little children will be so proud. As will the creepy animal nerds who come to have phallic fantasies with endangered species, but we need not get into that here.
Below are photos of the ones still up for adoption, courtesy of the L.A. Zoo. Media-relations lady Susan Clines is sending us a full list of the smug critters who were already picked up; we'll update with those as well.
But we do know they include a beautiful unicorn! (More extinct than endangered, really, unless you count the My Little Pony aisle. Or, as A&M Records donor Ann Moss sees it, imagination is endangered too.)
Welcome to Treetops Terrace, all:
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Test18 Feb 14
Test18 Feb 14
Highway 15 Crash Near Brownton
One person was hurt in a collision between a semi-truck and a Ford pickup truck on Highway 15 near Brownton Monday night. It happened just before 10pm. The State Patrol says that a Ford Conventional …18 Feb 14
Accused Murderer Sent To Prison
The man accused of murdering a fellow patient at the Minnesota Security Hospital in St. Peter has been moved from the Nicollet County Jail to a maximum-security facility in Stillwater. 32-year-old Darnell Dee Whitefeather has …18 Feb 14
Accused Waseca Rapist Warrant
A warrant has been issued for the arrest of a 30-year-old Waseca man accused of raping a 9-year-old girl. The victim told authorities that Troy O'Brien touched her genitals and made her touch his. He …18 Feb 14
Archdiocese Releases More Names
The Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis has released the names of nine more priests it says were "credibly accused" of sexual abuse of a minor. Monday's announcement follows its earlier disclosure of 30 such …18 Feb 14
Dome Demolition Halted Monday
The demolition of the Metrodome is expected to get back underway later this week. Contractors had to hit the pause button on Monday after a beam fell unexpectedly, but no one was hurt and no …18 Feb 14


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College News
Collaborative Work by Rice Recognized at Imagine RIT Event
The collaborative work of Dr. Rob Rice, Director of Clinical Internships in the Mental Health Counseling Program, and two colleagues from the Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT), was recently recognized at the Imagine RIT event on May 5.
Rice has been working with Dr. Laurence Sugarman, Director of the Center for Applied Psychophysiology and Self-Regulation at RIT's Institute of Health Sciences and Technology and Clinical Associate Professor in Pediatrics at the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry, and Dr. Stephen Jacobs, Associate Professor of RIT's School of Interactive Games and Media, on a project called, "MindGamers." It is a role-playing video game designed to teach calming and self-regulating skills to teenagers with autism spectrum and obsessive-compulsive disorders. The idea is for a patient to play the game during a therapy session in an effort to learn to control stress and overcome certain thoughts and behaviors. While the game is still being developed, the trio hopes to have a playable first-level game by fall.
"MindGamers" won the Hewlett Packard Sponsor Award for the best computer science project at the Imagine RIT event on May 5. It was also featured in the spring/summer issue of Research at RIT, the school's research magazine.
Check out photos from Commencement 2016 on Flickr!
Latest College News Stories
- A Voice for the Community: Pharmacy Professor Serves on Advisory Board for Global HIV Vaccine Study
- Crews Install Cross on Kearney Hall Spire
- Buffalo Bills Announce Ticket Distribution Information for 2016 Training Camp
- Bob Ward to be Inducted into Red Wings Walk of Fame
- St. John Fisher College a "Great College to Work For"
- Fisher Breaks Ground on New Chapel
- Lavery Library Photos on Display at Museum of African American History
- Mental Health Counseling Program Earns Recognition from Trade Website


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Original Paper
Improved diffusion profiles in back-contacted back-junction Si solar cells with an overcompensated boron-doped emitter
Version of Record online: 13 JUL 2011
DOI: 10.1002/pssa.201127199
Copyright © 2011 WILEY-VCH Verlag GmbH & Co. KGaA, Weinheim
physica status solidi (a)
Volume 208, Issue 12, pages 2871–2883, December 2011
Additional Information
How to Cite
Reichel, C., Bivour, M., Granek, F., Hermle, M. and Glunz, S. W. (2011), Improved diffusion profiles in back-contacted back-junction Si solar cells with an overcompensated boron-doped emitter. Phys. Status Solidi A, 208: 2871–2883. doi: 10.1002/pssa.201127199
Publication History
- Issue online: 23 NOV 2011
- Version of Record online: 13 JUL 2011
- Manuscript Accepted: 6 JUN 2011
- Manuscript Revised: 3 JUN 2011
- Manuscript Received: 1 APR 2011
Funded by
- German Federal Ministry for the Environment, Nature Conservation
- Nuclear Safety. Grant Number: 0329849A
- Abstract
- Article
- References
- Cited By
- back-contacted silicon solar cells;
- electrical shading;
- overcompensation of diffused junctions
The performance of n-type back-contacted back-junction silicon solar cells where the boron-doped emitter diffusion on the rear side is locally overcompensated by a phosphorus-doped base-type back surface field (BSF) diffusion has been analysed theoretically and experimentally. By overcompensating the emitter diffusion the noncollecting base-type region can be reduced significantly allowing electrical shading losses to be minimized. It has been found that for solar cells with a lowly doped BSF diffusion the local external quantum efficiency and the short-circuit current density Jsc could be improved significantly. For reference solar cells with an undiffused gap between emitter and BSF diffusion and a large noncollecting base-type region, a maximum Jsc of 40.9 mA/cm2 could be achieved and for solar cells with a locally overcompensated boron-doped emitter diffusion featuring a small noncollecting base-type region a maximum Jsc of 41.4 mA/cm2 has been measured. The reduction of Jsc losses caused by free carrier absorption (FCA) in highly doped silicon at near-infrared wavelengths is also shown. Furthermore, theoretical investigations are performed by one-dimensional device simulations and the influence of highly doped and lowly doped emitter and BSF diffusions on the open-circuit voltage Voc is presented. For solar cells with a locally overcompensated boron-doped emitter diffusion Voc could be improved from 629 to 652 mV when lowly-doped diffusions and thermally grown SiO2 and antireflection plasma enhanced chemical vapour deposited (PECVD) SiNx passivation stacks are applied. For the reference solar cells with an undiffused gap between the lowly doped emitter and BSF diffusions Voc of 693 mV could be achieved for a plasma enhanced atomic layer deposited (PEALD) Al2O3 passivation layer.


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Herbert L. Gehlken, 90, of Sweet Springs, died Thursday, Oct. 27, 2005, at his home.
Graveside services will be held at 10 a.m. Monday, Oct. 31, at the Missouri State Veterans Cemetery in Higginsville with military rites. Memorials are suggested to the family's choice in care of Cambell-Lewis Funeral Home.
Born Sept. 10, 1915, at Sweet Springs, he was the son of the late August Gehlken and Minnie Lemke Gehlken. On March 23, 1963, in Kansas City, he married Ruby M. Wilmoth, who preceded him in death Nov. 12, 2003. He had lived in Sweet Springs most of his life. He was a member of Immanuel Lutheran Church in Sweet Springs. He retired from General Motors in 1979, previously working at International Shoe Company in Sweet Springs. He was a U.S. Army veteran of World War II and a member of the National Coon Hunters Association.
Survivors include several nieces and nephews.
In addition to his parents and wife, he was preceded in death by three sisters and two brothers.


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Last Activity: Yesterday 03:00 AM
About Me
- About theuniqueldy
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The Mountain View Science Book Club Presents BETH SHAPIRO
The MOUNTAIN VIEW SCIENCE BOOK CLUB presents Dr. Beth Shapiro, author of How to Clone a Mammoth: The Science of de-Extinction. Using DNA collected from remains as a genetic blueprint, scientists aim to engineer extinct traits--traits that evolved by natural selection over thousands of years--into living organisms. But rather than viewing de-extinction as a way to restore one particular species, Shapiro argues that the overarching goal should be the revitalization and stabilization of contemporary ecosystems.


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New York Times bestselling author, Jane Green
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Want to help let other non-believers know they're not alone?
Want to take an active role in promoting Secular ideals in the local community?
Then come join us at Redlands Market Night!
We'll be loosely following the "Ask an Atheist" format where we:
• Answer questions
• Pass out flyers
• Give out information about secularism and our group
• Sell atheist themed t-shirts
• Chat with whomever stops by
Let's show the world that atheists and agnostics are nice, normal, and happy people!
We're looking for volunteers of every level, if you want to come and just hang out that's fine, and if you want to engage with the public that's fine too. We'll go over tabling basics for anyone who isn't sure what to do.
There's lots of parking all over if you come early, and lots by the Redlands Mall after 5. Just look for our booth with the big Atheist sign. If you still can't find us call Greg at (951) Three one eight - two six two eight.
Here's a sample of some of the questions and answers we'll deal with:
Q: Don't atheists have basically empty, meaningless lives since they don't believe that there's any higher power out there?
A: Nope. We don't think that the world is an empty, meaningless place, even though we don't think a god designed it. We think the world is a fascinating, wonderful, interesting place, and we enjoy living in it. Now, you may think that it's impossible to "really" enjoy this world without believing of God as the designer. We don't feel that way.
Q: What do you think happens to you when you die?
A: Just in case there are any misconceptions about this, most serious atheists don't believe in reincarnation or spirits any more than we believe in hell. What defines "you" is what you think and feel, and how you interact with the universe. When this interaction ceases, you're not you anymore. So you simply stop existing.
Q: How can anyone possibly be moral without believing in God?
A: Pretty much the same way that anyone else can be moral – by considering their actions, weighing the consequences and deciding whether they're doing more harm than good to themselves and other people.
Q: What's the difference between an atheist and an agnostic?
A: Atheism is merely the absence of belief in any gods. Agnosticism is not about belief in god but about knowledge — it was coined originally to describe the position of a person who could not claim to know for sure if any gods exist or not.
Q: Is Atheism just another religion?
A: No. Religions appeal to a supernatural realm controlled in most cases by a god or gods. Atheists have no written revelations, no god or gods and do not accept the existence of a supernatural realm or a creative super-being, as no evidence demands that they do. Atheism is therefore a rational evaluation of nature, whilst religions result from imaginative guessing.
Q: Do you hate God?
A: Nope. We don't hate Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy or Darth Vader either. Remember, atheists do not believe God exists. The way we see it, hating a nonexistent being would be as great a waste of time as worshipping one.
Q: Wow, this is really cool, how can I help out?
A: By joining up with the IEAA! Check us out online at www.inlandempireatheists.com or stop by one of our upcoming meetings listed on this flyer!
Meetup members, Log in
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According to unreliable sources, he was a Frank courtier who was converted by St. Remigius, refused the offer of a See from his godfather, King Clovis I, and became a monk at Micy. He lived as a hermit at Limoges and was rewarded by the king with all the land he could ride around on a donkey in a day for his prayers, which were believed to have brought the Queen through a difficult delivery safely. He founded Noblac monastery on the land so granted him, and it grew into the town of ... continue reading
St. Martin de Porres was born in Lima, Peru on December 9, 1579. Martin was the illegitimate son to a Spanish gentlemen and a freed slave from Panama, of African or possibly Native American descent. At a young age, Martin's father abandoned him, his mother and his younger sister, leaving Martin to grow up in deep poverty. After spending just two years in primary school, Martin was placed with a barber/surgeon where he would learn to cut hair and the medical arts. As Martin grew older, he ... continue reading
St. Laura of Saint Catherine of Siena
First Martyrs of the See of Rome
St. Maria Josefa Sancho de Guerra
St. Josemaria Escriva de Balaguer
Click Here for St. Valentine Prayer's Saint Valentine, officially known as Saint Valentine of Rome, is a third-century Roman saint widely celebrated on February 14 and commonly associated ... continue reading | shop
Saint Christopher is one of the most popular, yet most enigmatic Catholic figures. He is considered a saint, although he is not in the official canon of the saints. He is listed as a ... continue reading | shop
Everything we know about the husband of Mary and the foster father of Jesus comes from Scripture and that has seemed too little for those who made up legends about him. We know he was a ... continue reading | shop
"Jesus loved Martha and Mary and Lazarus." This unique statement in John's gospel tells us of the special relationship Jesus had with Martha, her sister, and her brother. Apparently Jesus was a ... continue readingMore Saint of the Day
St. Frances Xavier Cabrini, Virgin (Feast day November 13) St. Frances was born in Lombardi, Italy in 1850, one of thirteen children. At eighteen, she desired to become a Nun, but poor health stood in her way. She helped her parents until their death, and then worked ... continue readingMore Female Saints
Saint Michael the Archangel isn't a saint, but rather he is an angel, and the leader of all angels and of the army of God. This is what the title "Archangel" means, that he is above all the others in rank. St. Michael has four main responsibilities or offices, as we ... continue reading
Abbess and model of the conventual life. Agnes was a friend of the poet Venantius Fortunatus, who visited her in the Holy Cross convent in Poitiers, France. Recognized for her holiness and intelligence, she was named abbess of the convent by St. Radegund, a princess ... continue reading
The Apostle of Andalusia and the spiritual advisor of St. Teresa, St. Francis Borgia, St. John of the Cross, St. Peter of Alcantara, and others. He was born on January 6, 1499, at Almodovar del Campo, Spain. After studying law at the University of Salamanca, he left ... continue reading
By Deacon Keith Fournier
This great defender of the faith insisted on the central claim of Christianity: God can be known and loved-indeed, that is why He came into our midst in the person of His Son; so that through a relationship with Jesus Christ, man could participate in the very ... continue readingMore Christian Saints & Heroes


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Justin Timberlake: Memphis Soul Concert & Workshop!
Justin Timberlake attends an interactive student workshop with First Lady Michelle Obama on Tuesday (April 9) in the State Dining Room of the White House in Washington, D.C.
The 32-year-old entertainer helped educate middle and high school students from across the country in the Soulsville, USA: The History of Memphis Soul workshop.
PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics of Justin Timberlake
Later that evening, Justin suited up to attend the concert of Memphis Soul music as part of the In Performance at the White House series in the East Room of the White House.
Justin's wife Jessica Biel was in attendance while he serenaded a crowd that included President Barack Obama and his family with the song "Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay"!
10+ pictures inside of Justin Timberlake attending the workshop…
Also on Just Jared
JJ Links Around The Web
- What's going on with Calvin Harris and Tinashe? - US Weekly
- Selena Gomez was on the verge of tears during her concert - TMZ
- Lindsay Lohan says she got cheated on by fiance Egor Tarabasov - Gossip Cop
- Demi Lovato looks gorgeous on the cover of Elle - Just Jared Jr
- Taylor Swift stepped out for the first time since the "Famous" controversy - Radar
- Ariana Grande wasn't allowed to perform at the White House - Huffington Post
- Brie Larson shared an important message about beauty - Lainey Gossip
- Celine Dion does some amazing impressions - The Hollywood Reporter


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Principal's Message
Teachers, Parents and Students of J.C. Martin Elementary!
As we end another academic school year, I want to thank all teachers and parents for making it a very successful year.
I want to thank our teachers for being great role models and motivators who inspire values and greatness in every child.
Parents, we appreciate your continued support towards the education of your children. Thank you for instilling in them the importance of education and for making sure they attend school on a daily basis and on time.
I want to congratulate all the children on their hard work during this school year. I wish you all a very fun and relaxing summer.
Thank you again for another wonderful year, and I look forward to seeing you all in August.
D. Alaniz-Ramos
Summer School
Last Day of Classes