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Before we get to the most explosive play-makers in college football, here are some names who just missed the cut and some freshmen to watch:
Oregon's Thomas Tyner (pictured) headlines a group of potential big-play freshmen poised to make a big impact. Tyner was a record-setting, five-star prep back in Oregon and has a chance to fill the void for the in-state Ducks left by Kenjon Barner. Florida State's Levonte "Kermit" Whitfield, Florida's Demarcus Robinson, Ohio State's Dontre Wilson and Baylor's Robbie Rhodes are just a few other impact freshmen who can score from anywhere on the field.
Among the non-freshmen, some names to watch in this category include LSU's Odell Beckham, Nebraska's Ameer Abdullah, Baylor's Tevin Reese, Notre Dame's George Atkinson and Vanderbilt's Brian Kimbrow, to name a few.
The Huskers' top target was second in the Big Ten in yards (863) and touchdowns (8) a year ago and averaged over 17 yards per catch. What makes him a particularly special big-play threat, however, is one glaring and impressive statistic: all eight of his touchdowns came from 25 yards out or longer. With Taylor Martinez back for his senior season, fans in Lincoln can expect to see No. 80 streaking down the field all year long.
This is somewhat of a projection but the most prolific high school wide receiver ever and the No. 1 overall prospect in the 2012 class is poised for a huge season in 2013. He showed flashes of brilliance in the final month as a true freshman, catching 21 of his 28 passes, 267 of his 395 yards and four of his five touchdowns in the final five games. He is a freak of nature at 6-6, 225 and will be the next elite jumbo wideout in college football.
The all-purpose dynamo for Northwestern led the Big Ten in all-purpose yards last year at 166.6 per game. He scored 12 rushing touchdowns, one receiving touchdown and has three career return touchdowns, including two punt returns last year. Mark averaged 6.0 yards per carry a year ago and returns to lead what could be the most talented Wildcats offense ever assembled.
Just pop in the tape of the Ohio State game last year and you will see all you need to know about Bigelow's big-play talent. He averaged 40.0 yards per carry and scored twice on four carries in the Horseshoe, and for the season averaged nearly 10 yards per carry (44 att., 431 yards, 3 TD). He is now the full-time starter in Berkeley, and, in Sonny Dykes' new scheme, Bigelow should become a household name nationally.
From a straight-line speed standpoint, few in the nation can match the burner from Kansas State. He was third in the nation a year ago in kickoff returns, averaging 32.8 yards per attempt, and is one of the nation's most dangerous return specialists. Bill Snyder uses Lockett all over the field and his big-play ability is blatantly apparent. In his short two-year career thus far, Lockett has averaged 9.7 yards per carry (17 att., 165 yards) and 15.0 yards per catch (62 rec., 933 yards, 7 TD).
As the lighting half of the Georgia Bulldogs' running back duo, Marshall lived up to his electric hype as a recruit. He averaged 6.5 yards per carry on 117 attempts (759 yards) and scored eight times as just a true freshman. The star sophomore would start for most teams in the nation but will see his carries limited by the fact that he plays on the same offense as two other elite explosive offensive stars (RB Todd Gurley and WR Malcolm Mitchell).
The new Alabama starting tailback might not be the truest definition of explosive because of his power and strength. But Yeldon can take small gainers and turn them into big plays because of his overall explosiveness. He finished his freshman year with 1,108 yards and 12 touchdowns — that's 6.3 yards per carry in the SEC as a backup. Defenses will know all about No. 4 this fall.
The Bulldogs' top wide receiver can flat out fly. Mitchell has bounced between defense and offense during his short two-year stint in Athens but now appears focused solely on playing wide receiver. He has averaged nearly 15 yards per catch for his career and can score from anywhere on the field. His ability to stretch the field vertically gives Aaron Murray a big-time target on the outside. Good luck to defenses that choose to play man coverage against this speedster.
From a statistical standpoint, few players return to college football with Andrews' resume. He was fifth in the nation in rushing (132.9) and led the nation in all-purpose yards (243.1). In fact, he nearly broke Barry Sanders' three-decade old single-season all-purpose NCAA record with his 3,166 total yards. He scored 15 times three different ways and now has Bobby Petrino calling plays for his offense.
Cooks may not be a name you know yet but by the end of 2013, the whole nation will know about No. 7. Mike Riley has produced smallish, explosive do-everything wideouts (James Rodgers, Markus Wheaton) before and Cooks is the next one. He averaged 17.2 yards per catch — 67 receptions for 1,151 yards — and has 29 rushing attempts in two seasons. Look for Riley and the Beavers' offense to make Cooks a national star this fall.
Archer does a little bit of everything for Kent State, as he led the MAC in all-purpose yards (184.1) and scoring (9.9 points per game) last fall. He rushed for 1,429 yards and 16 scores on 8.9 yards per carry while catching 39 passes for 561 yards through the air. Archer is a special player who will drive defenses bonkers with his joystick-like, open-field moves and elite explosiveness.
Carey led the nation in rushing a year ago with 1,929 yards and scored 24 total touchdowns on 339 total offensive touches. He set a Pac-12 single-game rushing record with 366 yards against Colorado and was the most effective back against Stanford all season (132 yards, 3 TD). His combination of speed, burst and toughness make him a perfect fit in Rich Rodriguez's zone-read spread option and he can reach paydirt on any given play.
It took a couple of seasons before the nation got what they expected from the former five-star recruit, but few players were as productive down the stretch last year than the Baylor running back. He finished the year with five 100-yard games in his last six and scored six of his seven touchdowns in the final five games. Seastrunk averaged 7.7 yards per carry for the season and is poised for a Heisman Trophy-type season in one of the nation's best offensive schemes.
Is 1,385 yards and 17 rushing touchdowns on 222 attempts a good season for a true freshman in the nation's toughest conference? How about setting a Georgia and SEC record with a 100-yard kickoff return for a touchdown in his first career game? That's all Gurley did last year and it has expectations in 2013 sky high. He is a virtual clone of former Alabama star Trent Richardson and his rare combination of power, size, speed and burst make him arguably the nation's most talented running back.
It didn't take long for Diggs to prove his five-star recruiting hype was warranted. He finished second in the ACC in all-purpose yards at 172.4 per game and showed his electric, big-play versatility. he caught six touchdown passes on 15.7 yards per catch, returned two kicks for touchdowns, ran the ball 20 times for 114 yards and even threw a touchdown pass against North Carolina. As a sophomore, Diggs should be the focal point of the Terrapins' offense and will give defensive coordinators nightmares all season long.
Few players in the nation have a more explosive first step than Alabama's Cooper. As just a true freshman, he started on the BCS National Championship offense, catching 59 passes at a 16.9-yard clip (1,000 yards). He scored 11 times and made huge down-the-field plays against Georgia in the SEC Championship game (among many others). Cooper can start and stop with ease and it makes him one of the most dangerous offensive weapons in the nation.
Lee's resume is nearly complete after just two years of college football. He was second in the nation in receptions per game (9.1) and second in receiving yards per game (132.4) while leading the Pac-12 in kickoff returns (28.5). He owns multiple league and school single-season receiving records, won the Biletnikoff Award and finished fourth in the Heisman voting. With good quarterback play — which is a question mark for USC — Lee should post yet another monster campaign this fall.
Randy "Duke" Johnson was an elite recruit despite his small (5-8, 190) stature. Why? Because of his blazing speed and elite big-play potential. Johnson was third in the ACC in all-purpose yards (171.7) and finished second in the nation in kickoff returns at over 33 yards per attempt. He scored 10 times on the ground, twice on kickoffs, once as a receiver and even threw a touchdowns against Virginia. He averaged 6.8 yards per carry on just 139 rushes last year. Imagine what he could do with 250-275 offensive touches as a sophomore this fall?
Assuming he's fully healthy and fully focused off the field, Watkins should return to his 2011 form. As a true freshman, he posted one of the best first seasons in NCAA history by catching 82 passes for 1,219 yards and 12 touchdowns while rushing for 231 yards on 32 attempts and scoring on one of his 32 kickoff returns. His numbers regressed last year due to nagging injuries and a lack of focus off the field. If those issues are behind him, Watkins is the Maserati of wideouts playing in the Ferrari of offensive schemes.
Nicknamed The Black Mamba because of his fast-strike ability, Thomas is a perfect fit in the Ducks' fast-paced spread offense. In two seasons in Eugene, he has scored 18 rushing touchdowns and averaged 8.8 yards per carry (147 att., 1,296 yards). He has scored 14 times through the air on 91 receptions (1,050 yards). And he has four special teams touchdowns (3 KR, 1 PR). He is the most explosive, most dangerous big-play star in college football today and is the most difficult player in the nation to stop in the open field. He won't ever be a true running back or true wide receiver, but that is just fine by him. Thomas has 3,992 career all-purpose yards in two years and another 2,000-yard season is all but assured in 2013.
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Skip to comments.'Women and children first' a myth: study
Posted on 04/13/2012 3:05:52 PM PDT by WesternCulture
Scientists at Uppsala University have found that the widespread belief that women and children are saved first in maritime disasters is a myth, unless the men are threatened with physical violence like on the Titanic.
It is expected that the crew should rescue passengers, but our results show that captains and crew are more likely to survive than passengers, said Mikael Elinder at the Department of Economics, Uppsala University and at the Research Institute of Industrial Economics (IFN) in a statement.
We also found that women and children were more inclined to die than men.
This, the scientists think, indicates that when disaster strikes it is very much every man for himself.
For the study, researchers Mikael Elinder and Oscar Erixon analyzed a database containing information about passengers and crew from 18 of the most notable shipwrecks during the period 1852 to 2011, containing information about the fates of more than 15,000 people.
Elinder and Erixon found that that the survival rate of women was substantially lower than the survival rate of men.
Children had the lowest survival rate, while the highest survival rates were observed for crew and captains.
However, there is still a widespread popular belief that in a disaster, women and children will be saved first.
This, argue the scientists, is because the foundering of the Titanic, being the most researched shipwreck, has shaped our beliefs about what happens in maritime disasters, not in the least through popular culture.
And during the evacuation of the Titanic, the men stood back while women and children were given priority to board the lifeboats.
As a consequence, the survival rate of the women and children in this particular accident was much higher than that of the men.
The scientists questioned what made the Titanic so different.
One possible explanation is how the captain acts under the circumstances, according to the researchers.
On the Titanic, the captain ordered women and children to board the lifeboats first.
Men who disobeyed the order would be shot.
The scientists found that on the ships where the captain gave the order "women and children first", the difference in survival rates between men and women was lower.
But women survived to a higher extent than men only when this order was enforced by the threat of violence, the researchers found.
The evacuation of the Titanic was exceptional, but has spurred a long-lived myth that women and children will be saved first in disasters, said Elinder.
The three largest ethnic group of passengers aboard Titanic were Americans, Britons and Swedes.
Most of the Swedes traveled in third class, but in spite of this, a very large number of them survived - unlike most of the ship's crew (that mostly came from the area of Southampton, England).
Perhaps we Scandinavians do better in cold waters, or what?
Look, when the ladies started pushing "equal rights", "equal pay", started dressing like a man, demanding participation in mens clubs,equal equal equal well equal this little ladies. You can get in the pack and fight for a lifeboat seat the equal way of doing it.
Kids and infirmed? different story.
I don't believe this. It's just more liberal feminist manhating crap memes.
Except - metrosexuals TODAY would definitely shove women and children out of the way to get out first.
But men? No. That's one of the definitions of a man - and why feminists have such a hard time turning young women away from real men, even today.
Notice the study gives "survival rates," that is not what the expression "women and children first" would refer too: first on a life raft, or first off the ship. It does not imply the expectation that they will be saved.
Generally, survival in desperate situations at sea are more a matter of experience and expertise, both of which are highest among crew and captains. It's not just being the first on a life raft. It's also surviving at sea until rescue.
There must be at least one crew member in each life boat......they're very tasty.
I don't think that those who survived were in the water, but high and dry in lifeboats.
It is worst for the single guys.
The married men probably went down smiling and waving.
"I dont think that those who survived were in the water, but high and dry in lifeboats."
- You're probably right.
Anyhow, it is remarkable that such a high rate of third class passengers of Swedish ancestry survived as they, to begin with, knew far less English than most other people on the ship.
I think it matters that we Scandinavians, by tradition and perhaps even by genetics, are more accustomed to cold weather and rough seas.
OK, that was funny.
give the DOCUMENTED maritime history, this article is a myth.
The fact is any merchant marine or seaman (other than those from countries with no women and children first maritime history ala italy) who survives at the expense of women and children might as well die afterwards due to shunning and peer pressure excomunication.
To take your chance in the thick of a rush, with firing all about,
Is nothing so bad when you've cover to 'and, an' leave an' likin to shout;
But to stand an be still to the Birkenead drill is a damn tough bullet to chew,
An they done it, the Jollies - 'Er Majestys Jollies - soldier an' sailor too!
Their work was done when it 'adnt begun; they was younger nor me an' you;
Their choice it was plain between drownin' in 'eaps an' bein' mopped by the screw,
So they stood an' was still to the Birken'ead drill, soldier an' sailor too
It depends on the country. England had a tradition of women and children first. As we recently saw with that Italian liner, other countries may not. Does anyone believe that if a Muslim ship went down, the men would wait for the ladies to board the lifeboats?
I know some families of Americans who died on the Titanic, like Harry Elkins Widener, and they were basically upper class Easterners—British gentlemen in their thinking.
America was largely shaped by English thinking on these matters, but if a ship went down today, I doubt whether they would behave as gentlemanly as they did on the Titanic.
It seems women were far less likely to know how to swim 100 years ago than men. Neither my mom or my mother in law knows how to swim and they are only in their 70's.
That won't do much for survival rate on sinking boats...
- I guess most people who do research on survival rates and such things for profession are well aware that men, in many ways, are better physically equipped than women and children when it comes to surviving extreme temperatures, scarcity of food etc.
Journalists often misread or deliberately misinterpret scientific reports.
They spew this crap as if men were putting themselves before women and children(some might, most won't)totally ignoring the fact that MEN were the ones holding the guns on the Titanic.
When the men are devout Christians, women and children are first. The Birkenhead manned by Scottish covenanting Christians went down and the men stayed on deck singing from the Psalter. They made an oath not to swim out to the lifeboats lest they capsize and the women and children perish. Many men were killed by sharks, but the women and children survived.
You and your little clique of misfits can wallow in your misandry, or whatever malady that happens to afflict you, the rest of us will continue to respect the sacrifice of those who choose to give their lives for others.
Many years ago my husband and I along with my mother and step father were involved in a flood in South Dakota. My husband and I survived, but my mother and step father were killed as they had to swim for their lives.
When it came to settle the insurance for them, I did not receive any of the money because the insurance company said that because he was a man my step father more than likely outlived my mother, and therefore only his family would receive the money. My mother was a strong swimmer so I know that of the two she would have survived longer, but that was their policy.
My Grandmother and son would have been on that ship, except for a last minute glitch.
They would not have been on first class.
And even if they did, modesty would have prevented their taking off those long skirts and petticoats which must have exerted serious drag in the water.
Just goes to show that the phrase, "There is no greater love than for a man to give his life for another" is an ideal in courage and love and has nothing to do with the average base man when confronted with his own impending demise.
No less an authority than Jesus Christ Himself said it, then He laid down His life voluntarily for many.
"I think it matters that we Scandinavians, by tradition and perhaps even by genetics, are more accustomed to cold weather and rough seas."
I'd think that Scandinavians also knew more than others that in water that cold you literally have minutes; the rescue ships were too far away, and anyone that thought they'd do the "Jack thing" from the movie (clinging to a raft, with your body immersed) was completely ignorant of that.
I imagine many things are bolted down on a ship, but with plenty of time why didn't they unbolt tables, doors, dressers, or anything else that could possibly float and toss them in the water so that people might at least have a chance of climbing up unto them and float until help came? Throw chest with blanket and clothes in the water so that floating they may be retrieved by those on the table's, bunks etc. to rap up in and try to stay warmer until help arrives. Might be a long shot, but better than no shot at all.
"Many years ago my husband and I along with my mother and step father were involved in a flood in South Dakota. My husband and I survived, but my mother and step father were killed as they had to swim for their lives."
- That truly is a terrible story. You honor the memory of your mother and step father by telling us about it.
Human life is fragile in all its beauty, but also the closest thing to God there is in His eternity.
Warm greetings from "cold" Scandinavia to where you live.
Sometimes, the vast Atlantic Ocean simply doesn't exist..
Yes, life is fragil and never more fragil than during a disasteroua event like that.
Loved your "warm greetings from cold Scandinavia". You certainly live in a beautiful part of the world, and from a recent poll house some of the happiest people on earth.
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Massive Historic Blizzard!!! 967 mb Major Nor'easter!!! Snow already making its way into Upstate NY...
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Some times I have to wonder why you all make a big thing out of this??? I lived in Maine most of my life time what you guys call lots of snow is a drop in the bucket. Gosh get a freaken life. It's Maine for crying out loud we are use to 5 feet of snow in any storm, and we also are use to -40 degree temps, so please don't make a big thing about it. I have seen 3 feet of snow fall on Thanksgiving day. Don't worry Maniacs know how to cope. People in upper NY state know how to cope with it believe me, it happens every single year. Been that way ever since people have lived there.
You gotta understand down south in the U.S. including Washington DC, in southern England [London] and elsewhere, they get 1-2" of snow or sleet and they freak the fuck out. If they got the kind of snow even cities like NYC and Boston get in the northeast, let alone northern New England and upstate NY, they'd have a stroke.
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I know ever since I moved to North Carolina, I have found out that 2 inches of snow closes down the whole state. Its a great laugh for me. I enjoy sitting in my home and watching one accident behind the other at the intersection here. Its great entertainment. Of course I know better then to drive when we get snow here because the folks around here don't know how to drive on snow. Don't need some moron killing me lol
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We stopped at the top of the town near the city walls for lunch and enjoyed the view while the kids found yet another playground. The churches and museum were closed for the afternoon break by the time we found them, so we explored a little more and then headed home on the train. Another beautiful medieval hill-town!


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You have searched for: John L. Hennessy
- John Abraham is back in action
After busting a knee while filming a sequence for the upcoming Force sequel in Budapest, the actor is reshooting the sequence in Mumbai.
- No kids for John Abraham for now
He has a successful career as an actor, manages a production house and also owns a football team. Actor John Abraham, who is awaiting the release of actioner 'Dishoom', says he is not planning to extend his family at the moment as he is "concentrating on setting" his systems right professionally.
- Who is John Abraham's man Friday?
The actor doesn't believe in having an entourage of people surrounding him.
- Elton John blasts security guards
Singer Elton John hit out at security guards who tried to stop people dancing at his concert.
- Elton John in 'Kingsman' sequel?
British singing legend Elton John is in talks to join the cast of upcoming spy film 'The Golden Circle".
- Meet John Jani Janardhan...
Krishna Ajai Rao, Yogi and Madarangi Krishna in Guru Deshpande's next
- John Abraham: No boundaries on social media
Amid controversy around the video spoof of melody queen Lata Mangeshkar and cricket legend Sachin Tendulkar by comedian Tanmay Bhat, Bollywood actor John Abraham today said everybody on social media has become "brave" because of faceless identity.
- Shri. RAM. L. BHOJWANI
Departed for Heavenly Abode on 30-05-2016. Husband of Shobha Bhojwani. Father of Jagdish & Renu Bhojwani, Meghna (Nisha) & Laxman Tolani, Unnati (Manisha) & Sailesh Chulani, Grand Father of Honey, Bhishma, Vardhan, Khuwaish, Divit & Keisha. Bhog & Markaon 02-06-2016, Thursday, 5pm-6pm at Gurudwara Guru Nanak Sabha, 5th Cross Lane, Off M.G.Road, near Siddharth Hospital, Goregaon West. Deeply mourned by Bhojwani, Nangrani, Tolani, Chulani and Chawla families.
- John Abraham believes in talking sensible
Instead of giving others a wrong impression John Abraham believes in talking sensible
8th Death Anniversary - (27-10-1932 to 29-05-2008) My mother gave me life & never once asked for anything in return. To the world she was just a woman but she will always be a hero to me. If I could just talk to her once I would tell her how much i love her, Mom thank you for loving me unconditionally & helping me be what I am today. I pray heaven is everything you dreamt it to be. I pray you're safe & free of pain & have met your loved ones. To my Darling Mum, I will love you forever. Fondly Remembered by Bhagchandani & Jethwaney Family.
- John to turn bodybuilder?
Harnil Degra is scripting a biopic on his father and has approached the 43-yearold actor to step in as leading man.
ST. JOHNS COLLEGE, DADAR (Even though I walk through the darkest valleyI will fear no evil) Psalms 23:4 H/O LATE SARAMMA JOHN F/O ASHA – ANANT,ASHLEY-ANNU, SAM-JANIS GF/O JOSHUA, NATHAN B/O MR. P. S. THOMASResiding at 3/D-39, Piramal Nagar, Goregaon (W), Mumbai – 62. Tel.: 022-28753069Expired on 24/05/2016. FUNERAL On Friday 27th May 2016 SERVICE at Home 10:00 a.m. at ST. PETERS MAR THOMACHURCH, Bangur Nagar,12:00 NoonBURIAL at Oshiwara Christian Cemetery at 2:00 p.m.
- John Abraham's moment of weakness
John Abraham is on a roll promoting his new movie Rocky Handsome and one of his pit- stops was MTV Insider where he met the vibrant Barkha Singh.
- Mr.John Evangelist Furtado
SAD DEMISE - Left for heavenly abode peacefully on 22nd May, 2016. Funeral mass will be held on 24th May, 2016 at 11:00 am at Our Lady of Lourdes Church followed by burial. Deeply mourned by his family Wife-Irene Furtado Children-Anita, Austin, Jacqueline/Antony Lewis, Janet/James Corda & Grandchildren Address-Flat No. 3, Domnic Apts, Dominic Colony, Road No. 1, Orlem, Malad(W). Mumbai-64.
- Smt.L.Rajalakshmi
Passed away peacefully on Wednesday 18th May 2016. Remembered with love and deeply mourned by family & friends


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China to Cap Energy Use at 4 Billion Tons Coal, Xinhua Reports
China will cap total energy consumption at the equivalent of four billion tons of coal by 2015, Xinhua News Agency reported today, citing Zhang Guobao, former head of the National Energy Administration.
Energy use will rise by an average 4.24 percent annually over the five-year period from 2011 to 2015, Zhang said, according to Xinhua.
China aims for non-fossil fuel to rise to 11.4 percent of overall primary energy use by 2015, Xinhua said.
Before it's here, it's on the Bloomberg Terminal. LEARN MORE


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New Farm's Beer Bistro... we are your 'local' - come and visit us for breakfast (Sat & Sun), lunch, dinner, coffee, desserts, drinks or little snacks from our All Day menu.. or come in just for a chat! We have 7 tap beers and over 40 bottled beers & ciders- Little extras: - free WiFi - Great function space for special occasions or business functions - Outdoor seating with morning and afternoon sun | Beer is Life; and Life is Bitter Suite | 75 Welsby Street, Brisbane, QLD 4005 | (07) 3254-4426
Welcome to Bitter Suite!
A beautiful, old red brick building situated on a leafy corner at the end of James Street, with ample outdoor seating.
We are your 'local' – stop by for lunch, afternoon nibbles and dinner Tuesday to Sunday and on a weekend enjoy breakfast in the morning sunshine.
Everything on our menu is made from scratch in our little kitchen and with lots of craft beer, boutique wines and spirits, a house cocktail list, great coffee and unique teas we really have something for everyone!
Suite Sundays
Join us on Sunday Afternoons at Bitter Suite for "Suite Sundays"!
Each week we have a different housemade pizza available for $12 between 3pm & 5pm – enjoy with the 'happiest of hours'..3-4pm!
No better way to finish off your weekend!
Chef's Weeknight Special – $20
Make the most of our weeknight special's at Bitter Suite! Each week it changes but will always be a delicious dish accompanied with a selected tap beer, wine or cider – all for $20! Available Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights.
Past dishes have included Slow braised Pork Cheek with Pappardelle, Five spiced sticky ribs, Shredded Beef Okonomiyaki. YUM!
We update facebook and instagram with what the weeknight special is on Tuesday afternoons.
Call (07) 3254 4426 to book or find out the special!
Functions at Bitter Suite
Bitter Suite is the ideal venue for your function. We can do sit-down dinners for up to 30 people and stand-up cocktail functions for up to 60 people. We have amazing food, all made from scratch in our kitchen and a great array of drinks from craft beer to boutique wines to amazing house cocktails.
But most of all we have the magic ingredient to really make your function special.. our service. We love to host big groups, we are friendly, warm and attentive and cover off all the small details.
Check out our function page or email email@example.com or call (07) 3254 4426 for more details!


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This oddball collection skips the predictable stuff and instead offers some rare archival recordings that are guaranteed to make you laugh and/or really creep you out. Among the highlights: Roger Christian's "Little Mary Christmas," a maudlin, unintentionally funny country weeper about a crippled orphan; Rudolph and the Gang's "Here Comes Fatty Claus," which excoriates that "prick" Santa and "his sack of shit"; and Akim and the Teddy Vann Production Company's "Santa Claus Is a Black Man," a funky bit of yuletide social activism. All of these tunes are songs that Waters has collected over the years and shared with friends at his annual Christmas party.
Turns out that Waters is a bit of a Christmas nut. He wrote about it in his book Crackpot: The Obsessions of John Waters, and set part of his 1974 film Female Trouble during the holidays.
We caught up with Waters at his home base of Baltimore to get the story behind the album and his unrelenting Christmas jones.
Creative Loafing: Why are you so into Christmas?
Waters: There's always a fever pitch of emotion for everybody, so it's always interesting. It seems like really terrible things happen at Christmas and really great stuff. A Christmas tree once fell over on my grandmother when I was young, and that's been inspiring me for decades. [There's a falling tree scene in Female Trouble.] I wasn't there, but I became obsessed by the details. It began to piss my parents off.
So, why the album?
I've had the same Christmas party in Baltimore for over 40 years. I wanted to do an album that was like inviting you over to my house and letting me entertain you with songs that I'm pretty sure most people haven't heard. I wanted to include songs where you'd be amazed that there ever was such a song. They're hideous, but they're beautifully hideous.
Since you're so into Christmas music, do you go caroling or anything?
Oh God, no. But in the old days, I always wanted to get together the scariest friends that I had and just knock on people's doors and shriek Christmas carols at them. I never actually did it, but we used to think about it when we were on LSD.
In the liner notes, you mention having "the hots" for the Chipmunks. [The album includes the furry trio's "Sleigh Ride."] What's that all about?
I was 12 when I first heard the Chipmunks, and that's probably when I reached puberty. I could never get over it. The very first minute I heard the Chipmunks, I went insane.
Who's hotter: Alvin, Theodore or Simon?
Theodore was the least known, so I identified with him. Alvin was the star, and Theodore was always in the background. But I felt that Theodore was better read. He was the one with the ideas.
Have you ever hooked up with a stuffed Chipmunk?
No, that would be a plushie. I'm not that. Have I ever had sex with someone dressed as a Chipmunk? No. That isn't a fantasy, really. However, if someone really looked cute and could talk with their voice sped up, that would be a turn-on.
Any more music plans?
Yes, I have a deal. The next one is A Date with John Waters. It's a love album. It has me on the cover in front of a fireplace, like Andy Williams, with a drink and a cardigan sweater. I always loved music. I've been doing this my whole life. After going out to bars, people used to come over and I'd play them records. I guess I'm a frustrated DJ.


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Native Plants
Q. Who is Mr. Smarty Plants?
A: There are those who suspect Wildflower Center volunteers are the culpable and capable culprits. Yet, others think staff members play some, albeit small, role. You can torture us with your plant questions, but we will never reveal the Green Guru's secret identity.
Did you know you can access the Native Plant Information Network with your web-enabled smartphone?
Ask Mr. Smarty Plants is a free service provided by the staff and volunteers at the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center.
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Wednesday - June 01, 2011
From: New Cumberland, WV
Region: Mid-Atlantic
Topic: Grasses or Grass-like
Title: Plants for a slope in WV
Answered by: Anne Bossart
QUESTION:I live in the northern panhandle of WV. We have a hill side in front of our home and are getting too old to cut it. What would be the best ground cover for it. We want something that looks good and will cut off weeds.It's not the best of soil, and is mostly full sun light. Thank you so much for your help !!!!
Well, grass is still your best bet, but not turf grass that needs to be cut. There are no rapidly spreading "ground covers" native to your area that will be dense enough to prevent weeds from growing. The ground covers people conventionally use for that task (like ivy and periwinkle) are non-native invasive plants which we discourage people fom using.
Native ornamental grasses have fibrous root systems; making them excellent plants for a hillside and adapted to the dry conditions that are usually found on a slope. It will take a while for them to establish, however, so you may have to pull weeds for a few years. They do look great, especially when backlight by the late summer sun.
Here are a few to consider:
Bouteloua curtipendula (Sideoats grama)
Panicum virgatum (Switchgrass)
Schizachyrium scoparium (Little bluestem)
Sorghastrum nutans (Indiangrass)
You could also mix in perennial wildflowers to brighten up the planting, and attract birds and butterflies such as:
Asclepias tuberosa (Butterflyweed)
Coreopsis lanceolata (Lanceleaf coreopsis)
Echinacea purpurea (Eastern purple coneflower)
Monarda fistulosa (Wild bergamot)
Rudbeckia hirta (Black-eyed susan)
Symphyotrichum laeve var. laeve (Smooth blue aster)
Here are some photos fom our Image Gallery:
More Grasses or Grass-like Questions
Shady Container Plant for Austin
August 20, 2014 - I am looking for a tall plant/small shrub/ornamental grass for a very large pot that is placed against the north wall of our Austin home. That spot gets some morning sun in the summer, but virtually ...
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Establishing wildflowers on a slope in Virginia
August 18, 2012 - From Roanoke Virginia. I have a steep bank rising from one side of my driveway to woods above. Different areas vary from full sun, to half day shade. It is possible to carefully walk/stand on it, we a...
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Tropical Texas landscape from Houston
March 04, 2013 - Do you know of any public (or at least photographed) place in Texas that has been landscaped entirely with native "tropical-looking" (i.e. evergreen but NOT conifer and NOT succulent/arid) species? ...
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When to plant bermudagrass in East Texas
July 17, 2009 - When to plant Bermuda grass in East TX, Center, Nacodoches, Lufkin and Center area?
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Drought tolerant grass with little need for mowing for Hill Country of Texas
November 17, 2011 - What grass would you recommend for the hill country of Texas that is drought tolerant and does not need frequent mowing?
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|Support the Wildflower Center by Donating Online or Becoming a Member today.


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Over a ten-year period, the United States has experienced a dramatic decline in coronary heart disease mortality, which has resulted in an overall reduction in total mortality and increased life expectancy. In this period between 1968 and 1978, the reduction has been about 25% and has occurred in both sexes, all races, and at all ages. The United States is virtually unique in the world in terms of the magnitude of the decline. Unfortunately, when 1980 age-adjusted rates are compared with 1979 rates, there has been a leveling off of the decline, perhaps as a result of unusually high influenza rates and record-breaking temperatures in many cities.1 The cause of the decline has been a topic of much speculation. A conference sponsored by the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI) in 1978 concluded that both risk-factor reduction and improved medical care contributed to the decline.2 It has
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