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Samsung Acquires Cloud Provider Joyent
Samsung has acquired Joyent, the public cloud provider positioning itself as a container-native cloud platform. The buyout gives Samsung an immediate cloud presence, and the potential to build an integrated back-end platform to support its consumer-facing devices. The biggest attraction for both parties may be the ability to offer an end-to-end experience in the Internet of Things space.
C++17 Feature List is Now Complete, Enters Review
During the last meeting in Oulu, Finland, the ISO C++ committee completed the definition of the C++17 feature list. At the meeting, a number of new language and library features were approved, including constexpr if, template
Java 9 on the Brink of a Delivery Date and Scope Review
Following the passing of the May 2016 deadline for a feature complete Java 9, Mark Reinhold, Chief Architect of the Java Platform, suggested a method to collectively review all work remaining in unfinished JEPs and decide whether to delay the project further in order to accommodate, or to descope them. Although the process hasn't finished yet, the current state suggests a combination of both.
npm Releases Enterprise Add-ons for Security, Licensing
Npm has released Enterprise add-ons, allowing developers to directly integrate third-party tools for the first time
.NET Core 1.0 Released
Microsoft has formally released version 1.0 of .NET Core, the freely available and open source version of .NET. This provides developers a multiplatform way to target Windows, Linux, and Mac OS X systems with a single codebase.
Apple Open-Sources its New Compression Algorithm LZFSE
Apple has open-sourced its new lossless compression algorithm, LZFSE, introduced last year with iOS 9 and OS X 10.10. According to Apple, LZFE provides the same compression gain as ZLib level 5 while being 2x–3x faster and with higher energy efficiency.
QCon San Francisco 2016 Tracks Announced and First Glimpse at Workshops
QCon San Francisco, the 10th annual bay area software conference that attracts attendees from all over the world, returns to the Fishermen's Wharf area of San Francisco November 7-9, 2016.
Experiences Using Event Storming
In the context of Domain-Driven Design (DDD), Event Storming is incredibly useful and valuable, Dan North claimed in his presentation at the recent DDD eXchange conference in London, explaining the basic mechanics of Event Storming and sharing his experiences from modelling different systems during the last few years.
Vert.x 3.3.0 Features Enhanced Networking Microservices, Testing and More
Vert.x core developer Clement Escoffier of RedHat explores key features of just released Vert.x 3.3.0 reactive toolkit.
Codename One Adds Support for Java Apps to Target the Universal Windows Platform
Codename One, a popular app development environment that allows Java to be used for a variety of platforms, can now also target the Universal Windows Platform. This will allow Java developers to target any device where Windows 10 is installed- whether phone, table or desktop- and raises the number of targetable platforms to eight.
Applying Supply Chain Management to Deliver Faster with Higher Quality
Supply chain management can raise the bar with continuous development, argues Joshua Corman, Director of the Cyber Statecraft Initiative and co-founder of Rugged Software. Our dependence on IT and software is growing faster than our ability to secure it, and applying supply chain approaches to software development helps to address complexity which reduces risks and increases quality.
Open-Source Shark ORM for iOS Aims to Replace Core Data for High-Performance, Multi-Threaded Apps
Shark is a new open-source ORM framework for iOS that aims to be an easy-to-use replacement for Core Data by providing high-performance and thread-safety. InfoQ has spoken with Adrian Herridge, creator of Shark.
D3 JavaScript Visualization Library Hits 4.0
The JavaScript visualization library D3.js has undergone a major rewrite and is now at version 4.0. The new version offers plenty of new features and bug fixes, but the biggest change is its modularity. Instead of being a single monolith, v4 is now available in discrete modules.
VS2015 Update 3 Focuses on Performance and Stability
The full release of Visual Studio 2015 Update 3 has been made. Update 3 places a great emphasis on improving the stability of the product and reducing the amount of memory used by the IDE for solutions of all sizes. Other changes include better C++ support and better handling of product activation.
Apache Mynewt RTOS Addresses IoT Power, Memory, Storage Constraints
Apache Mynewt is an open source modular real-time operating system (RTOS) designed for operation on connected Internet of Things (IoT) devices that have limited memory and storage, and which need to run for long periods of time using minimal power. A press release by Arduino and the start-up Runtime describes Mynewt as "a composable OS for 32-bit microcontrollers (MCUs) that enables..."


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The same populations of brain cells encode memories that occur close together in time, according to new research.
Setting the Record Straight
October 1, 2014|
Scientists are taking to social media to challenge weak research, share replication attempts in real time, and counteract hype. Will this online discourse enrich the scientific process?

subset: commoncrawl


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Quel Dommage! An American in Paris to Close Early on Broadway
Odds & Ends: Renee Elise Goldsberry to Star Opposite Oprah, Will Chase Tapped for HBO Porn Drama & More
The Sound of Music Live!'s Michael Campayno Will Join Wicked on Broadway
Broadway Theater Legend Jimmy Nederlander Sr. is Dead at 94
Former Elphie Dee Roscioli to Fly Into Fiddler on the Roof on Broadway


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Jetradar will find you the cheapest airfare for Rome – Bologna by comparing the costs of flights to Bologna using 45 agencies, five booking systems, and 728 airlines. Where exactly you buy tickets for Rome – Bologna is up to you.
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Jetradar suggests purchasing tickets for Rome – Bologna in advance so you can choose your flight conditions and focus on your preferences and financial capabilities.
Also view:
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Most popular airports, offering the route Rome – Bologna:


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Report: Wizards acquire Burke from Jazz
The Utah Jazz traded point guard Trey Burke to the Washington Wizards for a future second-round pick, reports Adrian Wojnarowski of The Vertical. The ninth overall pick of the 2013 draft, Burke leaves Utah to become the primary backup to Washington's John Wall, one of the NBA's best point guards. Ramon Sessions, who backed up Wall last season, officially signed with the Charlotte...
Via The Sports Daily
19 days ago | Discuss
AP Source: Wizards trade for Burke, agree with Satoransky
A person familiar with the moves says the Washington Wizards will acquire point guard Trey Burke from the Utah Jazz for a 2021 second-round draft pick and also have agreed to a $9 million, three-year contract with Czech guard Tomas Satoransky. The Wizards will contribute $650,000 toward Satoransky's buyout from the Spanish club he has been with, the maximum amount NBA teams can...
Via Associated Press
23 days ago | Discuss
Report: Wizards acquire Trey Burke from Jazz
The Washington Wizards were unable to land Al Horford in free agency. That came after the team didn't even get an opportunity to sit down with native son Kevin Durant. It's been a somewhat frustrating past few days for a team that struggled to remain relevant in the Eastern Conference a season ago. Attempting to do whatever they can to improve a roster that surprisingly missed...
Via Sportsnaut
23 days ago | Discuss
Trey Burke, Utah Jazz proving doubters wrong
When Dante Exum went down with an ACL injury over the summer, it was immediately assumed that Trey Burke would have to step up in his absence to help carry the Utah Jazz to new heights this season. It may have come as a surprise then when Raul Neto was announced as the Jazz's starting point guard while Burke was assigned a bench role. Despite coming off the bench as part of the...
Via isportsweb.com
November 08, 2015 | Discuss
Trey Burke apologizes for nude photo leak
Utah Jazz point guard Trey Burke is yet another athlete who has become the victim of a recent nude photo leak. The compromising photos surfaced about a month ago but began making their way around Twitter this week. On Monday, Burke apologized for putting his family and teammates in an uncomfortable situation. "Publicly, I want to first and foremost apologize to my family [and...
Via Larry Brown Sports
September 30, 2014 | Discuss
John Stockton the Utah Jazz's new coach?
John Stockton So you had a miserable year and your fans are contemplating joining what seems like the rest of the nation by becoming Heat fans? You know what would win back some clout. You know that it comes in a 6-foot-1, 175-pound package. You know that it would bring back any lost fans and reinforce the wavering ones. You pick up the phone and dial John Stockton. That is just...
Via isportsweb.com
May 29, 2014 | Discuss
Utah Jazz: Is Stockton the answer?
It's been six days since the Utah Jazz announced that they would not renew the contract of former head coach Ty Corbin. The coaching search has been in full swing since then, with names like Jim Boylen, Ettore Messina and Jeff Van Gundy being thrown into the rumor mill for the position. Last Thursday, Spencer Checketts, host of Salt Lake City's 1280 "The Zone" radio show...
Via isportsweb.com
April 27, 2014 | Discuss
Why the Utah Jazz didn't make the playoffs
For the most part, this is a rhetorical question. The Utah Jazz didn't make the playoffs because the Jazz were not supposed to make the playoffs. They were not supposed to be fighting for a final playoff spot, they were not supposed to have winning streaks, and they were not supposed to hurt their draft positioning this summer. They were, however, supposed to display their emerging...
Via isportsweb.com
April 11, 2014 | Discuss
Rookie Trey Burke pranked by Utah Jazz teammates, guys hold back as he runs on court alone (GIF)
Utah Jazz rookie Trey Burke appeared in his first NBA game on Thursday night and his fellow teammates had a funny and harmless little prank planned for him as the team took the court for pregame warm-ups. As Burke jogged out, the rest of the Jazz players held back, leaving the young kid standing all […]The post Rookie Trey Burke pranked by Utah Jazz teammates, guys hold back as...
Via Sportress of Blogitude
November 22, 2013 | Discuss
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New Kids on the Block, 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men to headline Summerfest
It's going to be boy bands galore at the Marcus Amphitheater when The Package Tour, featuring New Kids on the Block, 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men, headlines Summerfest on July 2.
The news will make fans swoon. Shows all across the country have been announced for the tour, including two dates at Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Ill., in late July that made a Summerfest appearance seem unlikely. And despite going on tour nearly every year since reuniting in 2008 after a 14-year hiatus, NKOTB hasn't played in Milwaukee since that year. »Read Full Article(26)
Setzer brings swinging holiday cheer to Potawatomi
On the 16th day of November, Brian Setzer gave with glee: 5 sax men, 4 trumpet players, 2 backing singers...and drums dressed in tinsel, glittering.
The Brian Setzer Orchestra's Christmas show, at Potawatomi Bingo Casino's Northern Lights Theater, also had falling suds (subbing for snow), TV theme song cameos (including "The Flintstones," "Peter Gunn" and "The Andy Griffith Show") and covers from Setzer's Stray Cats rockabilly days. »Read Full Article(1)
Danceworks' 'Intersect' showcases breadth of artists involved
If one creative mind is a good thing, bringing many together for a project must be an even better thing — right?
Apparently so, given the variety of dance and original music in the Danceworks Performance Company's collaborative "Intersect" program. »Read Full Article
Next Act Theatre offers solid primer on Marxism with 'Groucho'
Like the Marx Brothers' early vaudeville show, Next Act Theatre's"Groucho: A Life in Revue" is a "skule" act. It gently and congenially educates the audience about one of America's great comedians, Groucho Marx, whose remarkable career included Broadway, movie and TV hits built around his wisecracking persona.
After a brief opening sequence, this revue, written by Groucho's son Arthur and Robert Fisher, unfolds chronologically. It's sentimental in spots, but heck, you might be sentimental, too, if you were writing a show about your father and uncles. It's not warts and all, but it does acknowledge Groucho's regrets about three marriages that ended in divorce. »Read Full Article


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Posted by YellzBellz
on 13 September 2015 - 10:23 PM
I have to say, the graphics look absolutely fantastic! Very well done!
Keep posting any new updates and keep everyone in the loop!
Good luck!
Posted by YellzBellz
on 29 December 2014 - 08:58 AM
I am a big fan of Java, its the most used language in my arsenal. My problems came with deployment. In order to port to many different devices, I would have to rewrite a specific version for each device. I am a bigger fan of a write once, port to many devices kind of language!
Posted by YellzBellz
on 29 December 2014 - 08:50 AM
Alot of the answers your looking for will depend on a few things like what is your end target? What is your currentl skill set? As someone who has spent years trying different things and many different tools, what you decide to do with your project in the end can dictate which tools would be best for the job.
Personally, I am not an expert coder, but I make up for it with my stubborness. Something that might take someone a week to create could take me a few weeks.
I recently got into MonkeyX this year after evaluating my hobby plan. I've worked on my ultimate uber RPG for years and have gone through quite few different languages in doing it.
I ultimately decided to throw my gloves in the ring of Mobile Developement and started that path using Java. After completing my first game, I realized the mess I was in. I had to rewrite the game in order to port it to each device. Thats where I found MonkeyX, a damn good write once, port to many devices enviroment. I rewrote my original game in 1 week using MonkeyX and got it ported to Android and Iphone. Its great for 2d or 2.5d style of games.
Unity is another option, but I've never looked at it so I can't give it a fair recommendation.
GameDev.net™, the GameDev.net logo, and GDNet™ are trademarks of GameDev.net, LLC


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Lyrics Depot is your source of lyrics to Mucopurulence Excretor by Carcass. Please check back for more Carcass lyrics.
Mucopurulence Excretor Lyrics
Artist: Carcass
Album: Reek of Putrefaction
Pyosis mucolysifies malignant mucocoeles
Pustules endocrinating disseminated mortified cells
Flesh punctuated by cancerous pustules
Burning your face with formicating papules
Mucopurulence excretor
Mucopurulent organs digested in sepsis
Mucolysifying, rancidifying as you eat your own cysts
Putrefying your pyorrhoea - infested corpse excretes away
Expelling pyuria and septic goitrous membrane
Carcass Lyrics
Carcass Reek of Putrefaction Lyrics
More Carcass Music Lyrics:
Carcass - Crepitating Bowel Erosion Lyrics
Carcass - Death Certificate Lyrics
Carcass - Embodiment Lyrics
Carcass - Embryonic Necropsy And Devourment Lyrics
Carcass - Maggot Colony Lyrics
Carcass - Pungent Excruciation Lyrics
Carcass - Rot 'n' Roll Lyrics


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Are you guilty of neglecting your website and online presence? According to a web credibility study done by Stanford University, 75% of users admit to making judgments about a company's credibility based on a website's design. Moreover, there is mounting evidence that brands with little to no social media
He's been ridiculed, laughed at and shunned by bloggers, talk-show hosts and fellow pop stars for his outrageous behavior. He's an emotionally out of control, passionate lyrical genius, and he is a poster child for how not to act, at certain times.
And somehow, Kanye West remains one of
Rhea Drysdale, @rhea at Outspoken Media, began her presentation on ORM by announcing that it makes no sense that she does online reputation management because she tends to be crude and outspoken! I enjoyed listening to what she had to say and her delivery, and I have a
As SEOs, we are always on the lookout for new link opportunities for our clients, some of which can sometimes be right under our nose. Sniffing out these opportunities using Google Alerts will be a useful resource for
We get a lot of requests at SEO.com for reputation management services. Truth be told, they aren't the most fun projects in the world, and often times it takes a few years to really clean up any negative results
A company received a smear campaign threat from its outsourced SEO firm because the firm knows Google's algorithm improperly ranks negative results, which Google claims helps to show an impartial view of the Web.
Reference this e-mail and tell me if you'd rather
Moderator: Krisa Neher
Andy Beal, CEO, Trackur
Rhea Drysdale, Co-founder and COO, Outspoken Media
Tony Wright, CEO/Founder, WrightIMC
Todd Friesen, Director of SEO, Performics
Todd Friesen
Reputation management is about control. Being able to control what
College Football is back tonight with Utah vs. Pittsburgh. Other local games this weekend include BYU vs. Washington and Utah State vs. Oklahoma. Everything is right in the world again.
In honor of college football's return, here are the position-by-position starters if Internet marketing strategies made up


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Munin—the Raven Reports
and grep for this string in the "links" dump. Unfortunately, matters are a bit more complicated. The airport's departure timetable lists all flights in five-minute slots. But, even though the cron job on the Munin master is configured to run at zero, five, ten (and so on) minutes past the hour, we can't be sure it will run exactly on time. That's why our plugin uses a modulo operation (executed by bc) to round down the current minutes accordingly and combine hour and minutes in a case construction:
TIME=$(date +%H) MIN=$(echo "($(date +%M)/5)*5"|bc) case $MIN in 0) TIME=$TIME:00 ;; 5) TIME=$TIME:05 ;; *) TIME=$TIME:$MIN ;; esac
Now the TIME variable contains only hour:minute pairs in which the minutes are a multiple of five.
There's another complication—when the Munin master stores the values retrieved from the plugin in the relevant RRDs at a point in time deviating from the exact planned time that RRDtool interpolates them. This way the database rarely contains the integer values our plugin returns but slightly deviating floating-point values.
The good news is that RRDtool accepts time value pairs. In this case, it will refrain from interpolation. The time must be given in seconds since January 1, 1970 00:00:00 UTC as a prefix of the value. A colon (:) is used as the delimiter, as in the following example plugin output:
calling.value 1230841800:0 boarding.value 1230841800:1 departed.value 1230841800:1 planned.value 1230841800:0 cancelled.value 1230841800:0
(1230841800 equals January 1, 2009, 21:30.) Note that Munin versions before 1.3.4 were unable to handle plugin output using this extended format. This means the following plugin code won't be compatible with older Munin versions:
links -dump $DEP_URL | grep $TIME > $TMP_FILE UNIXTIME=$(date -d$TIME:00 +%s) echo "calling.value $UNIXTIME:$(grep calling $TMP_FILE | wc -l)" echo "boarding.value $UNIXTIME:$(grep boarding $TMP_FILE | wc -l)" echo "departed.value $UNIXTIME:$(grep departed $TMP_FILE | wc -l)" echo "planned.value $UNIXTIME:$(grep planned $TMP_FILE | wc -l)" echo "cancelled.value $UNIXTIME:$(grep cancelled $TMP_FILE | wc -l)"
Apart from the output to be generated when the plugin is run without further arguments, all plugins are required to implement a config method, which is executed when the plugin is run with the config string as an argument. If we name our script muc (the abbreviation for Munich Airport) and start it from the directory where it is located, it might, for example, produce the following output:
$ ./muc config graph_title Departures Munich Airport graph_vlabel Number graph_args --base 1000 --lower-limit 0 graph_category Departures calling.label Calling calling.draw AREA boarding.label Boarding boarding.draw STACK departed.label Departed departed.draw STACK planned.label Late planned.draw LINE2 cancelled.label Cancelled cancelled.draw LINE2
Each time the Munin master asks the Munin node dæmon to run a plugin using the fetch command (as presented in the Telnet session above), it also executes the config method in order to find out how it should display the data in the diagram. In this example, the graph should be titled "Departures Munich Airport" (Figure 2), and the y-axis should be labeled "Number".
The graph_args variable allows the plugin to forward arguments to the RRDtool graphing routine (see the rrdgraph man page). Forwarding the option --base 1000, the muc plugin ensures that a k (kilo) unit prefix as displayed in the graph equals 1000, not 1024. The -lower-limit 0 influences RRDtool's autoscaling. It makes sure that the displayed y-axis always will range at least from 0.
The graph_category tells the Munin master in which category (Figure 1) the relevant diagrams are to be displayed. This allows you to group diagrams in a logical way. The diagrams of plugins that do not specify the graph_category variable can be found in the "Other" category. The muc data will be presented in our own new category titled Departures.
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Practical Task Scheduling Deployment
July 20, 2016 12:00 pm CDT
One of the best things about the UNIX environment (aside from being stable and efficient) is the vast array of software tools available to help you do your job. Traditionally, a UNIX tool does only one thing, but does that one thing very well. For example, grep is very easy to use and can search vast amounts of data quickly. The find tool can find a particular file or files based on all kinds of criteria. It's pretty easy to string these tools together to build even more powerful tools, such as a tool that finds all of the .log files in the /home directory and searches each one for a particular entry. This erector-set mentality allows UNIX system administrators to seem to always have the right tool for the job.
Cron traditionally has been considered another such a tool for job scheduling, but is it enough? This webinar considers that very question. The first part builds on a previous Geek Guide, Beyond Cron, and briefly describes how to know when it might be time to consider upgrading your job scheduling infrastructure. The second part presents an actual planning and implementation framework.
Join Linux Journal's Mike Diehl and Pat Cameron of Help Systems.
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- SUSE LLC's SUSE Manager
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With all the industry talk about the benefits of Linux on Power and all the performance advantages offered by its open architecture, you may be considering a move in that direction. If you are thinking about analytics, big data and cloud computing, you would be right to evaluate Power. The idea of using commodity x86 hardware and replacing it every three years is an outdated cost model. It doesn't consider the total cost of ownership, and it doesn't consider the advantage of real processing power, high-availability and multithreading like a demon.
This ebook takes a look at some of the practical applications of the Linux on Power platform and ways you might bring all the performance power of this open architecture to bear for your organization. There are no smoke and mirrors here—just hard, cold, empirical evidence provided by independent sources. I also consider some innovative ways Linux on Power will be used in the future.Get the Guide


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Ham, Cheese and Potato Salad
Grilled Steak Salad with Dinner Rolls
Grilled Zesty Herb Shrimp Salads
Ham and Swiss Summer Salad
Broccoli and Ham Bread Pudding
Ham and Cheese Crescent Roll-Ups
Antipasti meets salad, with ham and spreadable cheese roll-ups atop tender greens and bottled balsamic vinaigrette.
Chive and onion cream cheese can be used in place of the garlic herb cheese spread.
Any salad greens blend can be substituted for the Tuscany greens blend.
A glass of white wine and a crusty French roll with butter adds a touch of elegance to this salad.
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by derosa
posted 01-05-2012 08:00 AM
1 2 3 4 ... 7
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342 replies
342 replies so far
#1 posted 01-05-2012 05:46 PM
nice troll
-- "there aren't many hand tools as awe-inspiring as the #8 jointer. I mean, it just reeks of cast iron heft and hubris" - Smitty
#2 posted 01-05-2012 06:06 PM
Although those are hilarious, especially if you're weak minded enough to believe it, I was looking for something more like this
-- --Rev. Russ in NY-- A posse ad esse
#3 posted 01-05-2012 06:07 PM
Man, Cr1's fast, lol.
-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog
#4 posted 01-05-2012 06:15 PM
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Tylden fire station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.
'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.'
The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#5 posted 01-05-2012 06:15 PM
A sweet grandmother
The operator said,
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said,
The operator replied,
After a few minutes,
The grandmother said,
The operator replied,
The grandmother said,"No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302.
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#6 posted 01-05-2012 06:17 PM
Mother's Driver's License –
' Mommy ,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.
'OK', the little girl says,
'Now really,' the mother says,
Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'
'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
' My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.
'Well,' says the friend,
Later that night the little girl says to her mother,
The mother is surprised and asks,
'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'And,' the little girl says triumphantly,
'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'
'Because you got an F in sex.'
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#7 posted 01-05-2012 06:20 PM
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#8 posted 01-05-2012 06:23 PM
It's the Law!
1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Murphy's Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Logical Argument -Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law – If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#9 posted 01-05-2012 06:35 PM
Three Holy Men & A Bear
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette . They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard – a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment.
They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb.. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him.
He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, .......circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#10 posted 01-05-2012 06:47 PM
A robot walks into a bar and asks for a screwdriver…
-- Altruism is, ultimately, self-serving
#11 posted 01-06-2012 05:40 AM
One day Southern Baptist preacher is driving down the road when he came upon a rattle-trap pickup truck. He stayed a safe distance behind and dropped further back when the truck commenced to weaving back and forth across the yellow line. Not being too quick to prejudge any dear soul, he said to himself,"The poor soul in that truck must be ill." Then he thought, "I'd better nail the gas and get around this drunk before he runs me off the road." He did, and passed the truck, and at a good clip went flying down the road. Until he hit a slick spot and flipped over thrice. (That's preacher talk for three times). The drunk came upon him a few minutes later, stopped and looked the scene over before staggering to the wreck. (he made it to the wreck in good shape because the Lord was watching him. That's why some people think it's Godly to drink.) The preacher's car was on it's left side, so the drunk climbed up and opened the other door and called down into the car, "Preacher, you allright?" A sonorous voice replied, "Yes son, I'm allright. The Lord's riding with me!" "well, preacher, you better let the Lord ride with me before you kill him!"
-- Steve in KY. 44 years so far with my lovely bride. Think I'll keep her.
#12 posted 01-06-2012 03:11 PM
#13 posted 01-06-2012 04:33 PM
For our rural friends:
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#14 posted 01-06-2012 04:36 PM
A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and
"How many customers bought something from you today?
The kid says "one."
The boss says
The kid says, "$101,237.65."
The boss says
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a
The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#15 posted 01-06-2012 04:46 PM
#16 posted 01-06-2012 04:56 PM
Uh Oh – - its and IN Bred Cat!
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#17 posted 01-06-2012 04:59 PM
NOW…. Where is that Aflac Duck??
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#18 posted 01-06-2012 05:03 PM
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?"
"1955, ma'am."
"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean no sex since 1955! Come with me." She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.
Afterward, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#19 posted 01-06-2012 05:24 PM
The ending is best – - he really gets rolling fast
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#20 posted 01-06-2012 05:44 PM
-- -- Neil
#21 posted 01-06-2012 06:05 PM
I really enjoyed all the anti-Obama stuff, since I couldn't find that in every other thread you post in.
#22 posted 01-06-2012 06:18 PM
One old guy says to another, "I think my wife is dead."
-- "Hard work is not defined by the difficulty of the task as much as a person's desire to perform it.", DS251
#23 posted 01-06-2012 06:27 PM
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi Grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I have known Mr. Bradley since he was a
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#24 posted 01-06-2012 06:33 PM
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#25 posted 01-06-2012 06:36 PM
math Test
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#26 posted 01-06-2012 06:40 PM
Thelma arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load
It turns out that Bubba had read an article that said, 'Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex'.
The night went very well. The next day, Thelma told her office friends all about it. 'We had a great dinner. Bubba even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away.. I really enjoyed the evening.'
'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.
'Oh, that…..... Bubba was too tired.'
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#27 posted 01-06-2012 06:58 PM
#28 posted 01-06-2012 07:00 PM
#29 posted 01-06-2012 07:02 PM
#30 posted 01-06-2012 07:18 PM
#31 posted 01-06-2012 07:25 PM
skeemer said:
I really enjoyed all the anti-Obama stuff, since I couldn't find that in every other thread you post in.
He's a one trick pony, obsessed with racial hatred, backed by unfounded facts,on a mission to spread his poison on everything..
-- http://www.facebook.com/pages/DSO-Designs/297237806954248
#32 posted 01-06-2012 07:30 PM
#33 posted 01-06-2012 07:32 PM
#34 posted 01-06-2012 07:33 PM
#35 posted 01-06-2012 07:35 PM
#36 posted 01-06-2012 07:36 PM
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#37 posted 01-06-2012 07:37 PM
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#38 posted 01-06-2012 07:39 PM
Can't email something crashed my computer
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#39 posted 01-06-2012 07:41 PM
#40 posted 01-06-2012 07:42 PM
#41 posted 01-06-2012 07:44 PM
16221 posts in 3553 days
#42 posted 01-06-2012 07:44 PM
The economy has gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"
#43 posted 01-06-2012 07:48 PM
'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'
'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. 'All the food was slow.'
'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'
'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained. 'Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it'.
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck . Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger .
I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.
We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a 'machine.'
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#44 posted 01-06-2012 07:49 PM
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
"My dear child," said the nun, "Why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#45 posted 01-06-2012 07:52 PM
Shrek, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were all having lunch together.
Shrek said, 'I have always thought that I'm the strongest man in the world, but how can I be sure?'
Angelina Jolie agreed. 'I'm told I'm the most gorgeous of them all, but sometimes I wonder.'
Brad Pitt said, 'I'm pretty sure I'm the sexiest man alive but I've never had it confirmed.'
They all decided that the best way to find out if their beliefs were true was to ask the famed talking 'Magic Mirror' to confirm for them whether Shrek was the strongest, Angelina Jolie was the most gorgeous and Brad Pitt was the sexiest.
They agreed to meet again the next day for lunch to discuss their findings.
The next day Shrek walked up with a smile. 'Well, it's true. The mirror told me that I am the strongest man in the world."
Angelina perked up and said: 'And I know for sure that I'm the most gorgeous woman alive.'
But Brad Pitt lifted his tear stained face and said…..
'Who the hell is Dr. Dirt ???
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#46 posted 01-06-2012 07:59 PM
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#47 posted 01-06-2012 08:02 PM
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
#48 posted 01-06-2012 08:03 PM
Some interesting statistics:
-- "It was they who were wrong, and for them here's a song." ― I. Anderson
#49 posted 01-06-2012 08:07 PM
one of my favorites..
-- http://www.facebook.com/pages/DSO-Designs/297237806954248
#50 posted 01-06-2012 08:17 PM
-- I don't trust trees. They're kinda shady
Have your say...
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text:
This business is not BBB accredited.
Applause International
Phone: (440) 779-1607 View Additional Phone Numbers 30701 Lorain Rd. Ste. B, North Olmsted, OH 44070 View Additional Email Addresses http://www.theartstalent.com
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text:
I think one of the sites in our network encountered a bug with the new 1.0.0 feature "Added option removing shortcodes for RSS feed."
Today I deployed the 1.0.1 version of Email Encoder Bundle, upgrading from 0.80, and their site feed stopped working.
This author had tagged one of her posts with the word "video." In the RSS feed, WordPress normally wrote the tag like the following:
When the Email Encoder Plugin is active, the feed displays an error message, and the same tag looks like the following:
I use Google Chrome for testing my feeds, and the error message reads:
This page contains the following errors:
error on line 165 at column 13: internal error
Below is a rendering of the page up to the first error.
The same problem occurred when I tagged a post with "video games" or "video player." It did not occur when I tagged the post with "videos."
When I deactivate the Email Encoder plugin the feed works again.
Is it possible that the shortcode removal feature is not compatible with the way that WordPress writes tags in its feeds?


text:
Oakland Athletics
ESPN Fantasy
SLEEPER It's hard to think of Mike Piazza as a sleeper, but he's being drafted as the No. 7 catcher in fantasy right now, while he has the ability to be top three.
BUST Nick Swisher's batting average doesn't leave much room for error. If he doesn't match last year's home-run output, he can really hurt you.
HITTER TO WATCH: Daric Barton, 1B Barton missed half of 2006 due to injuries, but he was a major part of the Mark Mulder trade due to his impressive bat control and plate discipline.
PITCHER TO WATCH: Jason Windsor, RHP
Windsor is a rare example of a crafty right-hander, working off a fringe-average fastball with well above-average control and command.
ESPN.com Predictions
MLB Preview 2007
FIXED At 26, Danny Haren has the makings of an ace. Which is good, because the A's need one. Like, now. Since opening the 2005 season with a 17 record ("It was a life-changing experience for me," he says), Haren is 2718 with a 3.79 ERA, and his 223 IPs last year led the staff. Over the winter, when the Mets asked about Haren's availability, the message back from GM Billy Beane was blunt: Your offer would have to start with OF Lastings Milledge, reliever Aaron Heilman and top pitching prospect Mike Pelfrey. Nobody in A's camp was wishing they had made the deal.
NEEDS FIXING SS Bobby Crosby has been hampered by back and foot problems, hurler Rich Harden had a sprained elbow last year, and CF Mark Kotsay had back surgery that will keep him out until late June. The rash of injuries was nothing new for the perennially snakebit A's. So is it a pattern or simply bad luck? "When you go case-by-case, you see we have a lot of game-impact injuries," Beane says. "There's no cultural problem." Okay, then. So can everybody just be more careful out there?
How 'bout that Daric Barton deal? The liner-hitting 1B, who came from the Cards with Haren and Kiko Calero for Mark Mulder, raked in camp. He'll hit Oaktown soon.
Bleeding green-and-gold is a study in extremes. On one hand, there's the narrow concourses, skewed sightlines and sparse crowds (the MLB's fifth-smallest in 2006) at McAfee Coliseum. On the other: a Bang for the Buck people write books about and a ticket that's 10 percent cheaper than across the Bay, perfect for beloved die-hard fans like the Duke of Leftfield and Banjo Guy.
"Like the rest of the West, the A's are a series of 'What if?' questions. But, IF Harden makes 30+ starts, IF BoCro plays 130+ games, IF Piazza smokes the ball all summer like he has in the spring, IF Kotsay comes back and Bradley stays relatively healthy, then this team has a chance to be very, very good."


text:
| View Exclusive AAUP Compensation Survey Data |
All but 22 of the University of Florida Online's roughly 1,000 students are adult learners. How can the university sell going to college online to high school graduates?
Higher ed lobbying group and advocates for students with disabilities are at odds over a proposal that would require a federal agency to set guidelines for the accessibility of technology products on campus.
What one university is doing to promote critical thinking. Hint: It involves a chair, a really expensive one.
Students who end first year with G.P.A. between 2.0 and 3.0 have been neglected by academic support programs, says research based on data from 60 institutions. Is this where colleges can have the biggest impact on retention?
Community college instructors across disciplines can teach reading comprehension, thanks to an expanding training program that is winning believers.
It's hard to offer meaningful advising to new students before they arrive on campus. But Sewanee says it can be done, with professors making key decisions.
In a new book, the authors of Academically Adrift return to report on how the same cohort of "meandering" students are faring after graduation. It's not a pretty picture.
In new book, creator of "Reacting to the Past" details history of the pedagogical technique and advocates its wider adoption.
National study examines the nature of assignments -- and finds many of them lacking in creativity.
New analysis shows that students earn more credits in the humanities than in STEM -- but that humanities majors and STEM majors rarely find themselves in the same classroom.
Inside Higher Ed
1015 18th Street NW
Suite 1100
Washington, DC 20036
Ph: 1-202-659-9208
Fax: 1-202-659-9381
1015 18th Street NW, Suite 1100 | PH: 1-202-659-9208
Copyright © 2016


text:
grow into something
— phrasal verb with grow us /ɡroʊ/ verb past tense grew /ɡru/ , past participle grown /ɡroʊn/
› to become a more completely developed type of person or thing:
We want these children to grow into responsible adults.
(Definition of "grow into something " from the Cambridge Academic Content Dictionary © Cambridge University Press)
Create and share your own word lists and quizzes for free!
Word of the Day
water, especially from a river or stream, dropping from a higher to a lower point, sometimes from a great height


text: Hi Everybody! The town council of Sanremo here in Italy needs a brand new good looking skin. They have a lot of info so its have to be place for many tabs and menu. The official site is: http://www.comunesanremo.it and you can also have a look at http://sanremo.cantiere.duemetri.com/ where we are putting all info in a Rainbow system. The first of may we have to present some different graphic solution. no functional skins are requested, a .jpg or .html file to show them how the site can look like is required. Any ideas? If we win the contest, The winner will be payed for the work ofcourse! Please let us know! Anne


text:
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Seascape photos w/ X100s
Started May 26, 2014 | Photos thread
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changas2188 • Regular Member • Posts: 209
Seascape photos w/ X100s
May 26, 2014
Photos taken at Windang Island in Wollongong, NSW with an ND1000 and CPL.
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text:
GULF SHORES, Ala. (AP) - An Alabama beach town doesn't want to
be the home of a Southern-fried version of MTV's "Jersey Shore"
reality show.
The Gulf Shores City Council has approved a law that would require anyone filming a TV show in town to get a $250 permit.
The rules would allow city officials to refuse shows they don't like.
Mayor Robert Craft says the law isn't aimed solely at a proposed show called "Redneck Riviera."
But he adds that officials are aware of the possibility of the show landing in Gulf Shores.
A production company has set up a website seeking auditions for
the show, which supposedly would include lots of Confederate flags,
pickup trucks and partying on the coast.


text:
Shea Stadium
First and Figures
Status: Demolished 2008
Address: Citi Field Parking Lot
Capacity: 57,333
Cost to construct: $25.5 Million
Architect: Praeger, Kavanaugh, Waterbury
The Field
Playing Surface: Grass
Defining Feature: The Big Apple, when a Met hit a homerun the Apple popped out of a hat. Also, with LaGuardia so close, the park was very noisy.
Dimensions (ft) Initial distance in parenthesis
Left Field: 338
Left Center: 378
Center Field: 410
Right Center: 378
Right Field: 338
Opening Day and Firsts
Opening Date: April 17, 1964
Opponent: Pittsburgh
Results: Pittsburgh 4, New York 3
Attendance: 50,312
First Hit: Willie Stargell (Pitt, home run)
Winning Pitcher: Bob Friend
Losing Pitcher: Ed Bauta
Umpires: Tom Gorman, Bill Williams, Vinnie Smith, Chris Pelekoudas
Managers: Casey Stengel, Mets; Danny Murtaugh, Pirates
Starting Pitchers: Jack Fisher, Mets; Bob Friend, Pirates
Ceremonial Pitch: William Shea, NY Baseball Committee Chair
Batter Dick Schofield (pop out)
Run Willie Stargell
RBI Willie Stargell
Single Bob Bailey
Double Ron Hunt
Triple Roberto Clemente (04/18/1964)
Home Run Willie Stargell
Grand Slam Jim Hickman (08/19/1964)
IPHR Ron Hunt (06/05/1966)
Stolen Base Joe Christopher
Sacrifice Hit Bob Friend
Sacrifice Fly Jack Fisher (05/13/1964)
Cycle: Wes Parker (05/07/1970)
Win: Bob Friend
Loss: Ed Bauta
Shutout: Al Jackson (04/19/1964)
Save: Roy Face (04/18/1964)
Hit by Pitch: Bob Friend hit Jim Hickman
Wild Pitch: Larry Bearnarth (05/06/1964)
Balk: Bill Wakefield (07/30/1964)
No-Hitter: Jim Bunning (06/21/1964) [perfect game]
Perfect Game: Jim Bunning (06/21/1964)
Hosted Events
World Series: 1969, 1973, 1986, 2000
All Star Games: 1964
Last game:
Marlins 4, Mets 2
Umpires Gerry Davis, Brian Gorman,
Bruce Dreckman, Sam Holbrook
Managers Jerry Manuel, Mets
Fredi Gonzalez, Marlins
Starting Pitchers Oliver Perez, Mets
Scott Olsen, Marlins
Attendance 56,059
Batter Ryan Church (fly out)
Hit Jeremy Hermida (single)
Run Dan Uggla
RBI Dan Uggla
Single Jeremy Hermida
Double Jose Reyes
Triple Daniel Murphy (09/24/2008)
Home Run Dan Uggla
Grand Slam Carlos Delgado (09/24/2008)
IPHR Jose Reyes (09/07/2006)
Stolen Base Cameron Maybin
Sacrifice Hit Ricky Nolasco (09/27/2008)
Sacrifice Fly Carlos Delgado (09/27/2008)
Cycle Jose Reyes (06/21/2006)
Win Joe Nelson
Loss Scott Schoeneweis
Shutout Johan Santana (09/27/2008)
Save Matt Lindstrom
Hit by Pitch Ricky Nolasco hit Daniel Murphy (09/27/2008)
Wild Pitch Bobby Parnell (09/26/2008)
Balk Julian Tavarez (09/14/2008)
No-Hitter Bob Moose (09/20/1969)
Putout Cameron Maybin
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7-Year Old Tulsa Girl Sent Home From School Because of Her Dreadlocks
Deborah Brown Community School's dress code left a little girl in tears. (via KOKI)
The Deborah Brown Community School's policy against "faddish" hair — "such as dreadlocks, afros, mohawks" — led to a 7-year-old girl being sent home from school in tears. Tiana Parker's father, Terrance Parker, told KOKI that he was forced to pull his daughter out of the Tulsa charter school after administrators hassled the family about her appearance. Parker, who's a barber, said school officials at Deborah Brown told him that Tiana's hair didn't look presentable.
"She's always presentable. I take pride in my kids looking nice," Parker told KOKI. "She went to the school last year and didn't have any problems," he added, telling a reporter that Tiana's hairstyle had not changed. "It hurt my feelings to the core," Parker said as he comforted his visibly upset daughter. Tiana, a straight-A student, has been enrolled at another school that welcomes her new hairstyle.
3. Tiana began to cry when the reporter asked her why she was sad.
Deborah Brown Community School's policy mandates uniforms and lays out other specific rules for students' hair as well, saying, "For safety reasons, girls weaved hair should be no longer than shoulder length. Wearing weaved hair in multiple colors is not allowed. Boys' hair is to be short and neatly trimmed. Boys are not allowed to wear earrings."
The school's charter enforces the strict dress code to maintain a "respectful and serious atmosphere" and states that students who fail to wear the proper uniform will be sent home for noncompliance. Officials from Deborah Brown Community School in Tulsa declined speak to the station on camera, but administrator Millard Jones told KOKI that Terrance Parker was fully aware of what was expected.
5. Many people are leaving comments on the school's Facebook page criticizing their dress code policy.
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