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Dear Neighbors and Friends,
In 2015, myself and the PCA Board of Directors made a concerted effort to provide more opportunities for our neighbors to get involved and give back to the community that we a love so dearly. Many of you have lent us a hand (and a shovel) as we planted nearly 40 trees throughout the neighborhood, and even more of you have come out in support of our monthly Parkside Family Fun Nights.
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In yesterday's The Three Things, Lindsay Bell-Wheeler linked to a New York Times article about the opt-out generation of women who quit their careers to raise their families and work inside the home.
It made both of our blood boil. Hers because of the women they portrayed (upper-class, country club, 9,000 square foot homes, highly-educated) who have (or had) husbands who made a good enough living for them to "opt out" of the workforce yet maintain their style of living…and are now complaining because they have to move into a 2,500 square foot townhome because of a divorce.
You can read what she wrote in the blog post and in the comments…and get her riled up more.
I agree with all of those things and more.
A Personal Story
I hope my mom won't mind my telling this story.
When I was 17, my parents split up. I have three younger brothers and a younger sister (I also have a half-brother, but he didn't fit into this equation). My dad worked two jobs nearly my entire life and he was never home. When he was home, he was the disciplinarian.
My mom, on the other hand, was with us 24/7. She cooked, she cleaned, she made our clothes, she scheduled our activities, she did the shopping, she made us do our homework…she raised us.
She never worked outside of the home. Not until she got divorced. But, by then, she'd been out of the workforce nearly 20 years and didn't have desirable skills to an employer.
She's highly educated, highly intelligent, and extremely talented. And the workforce required she start all over. Those 20 years meant nothing on a resume. To the workforce, she was a brand new college graduate, but with baggage.
As well, when faced with divorce and custody of five children (well, four and a half as I was off to college on a full-ride academic scholarship), she didn't have her own credit as all of the bills – the utilities, the car, the mortgage – were in my dad's name.
And the best job she could get? She worked herself up to manager of a retail store a few blocks from our home so we could hang out there after school.
She worked herself nearly to death and it wasn't enough. She couldn't make ends meet. She was starting from scratch with lots of mouths to feed. Eventually my dad got custody of my siblings and he moved them to Michigan.
It nearly killed my mom. Literally.
Long-Term Investment in Your Career
I'm reading Lean In (more on that when I finish it) and one of the things Sheryl Sandberg talks about is to think about the long-term effects of the opt-out generation. What happens when you leave your job to raise your family.
The examples she uses aren't unlike what my mom and some of my friends are going through now: A divorce, a spouse dies, a spouse is injured and can no longer work.
Lots of women decide to leave the workforce because their salaries barely cover childcare when they are born.
It makes sense, right? If your salary goes to childcare, what's the point in working and being away from your kids, particularly before they go to school?
But what we don't think about is the salary increases and bonuses we receive during those years. So your salary may barely cover childcare right now, but three years from now, you'll be making more money. Perhaps you also receive bonuses or incentives. More money added to that. Suddenly the long-term investment in your career doesn't look so bad.
Of course, none of us think anything bad will happen to us. We're not going to get divorced. Our spouse isn't going to get sick. Our spouse isn't going to be hurt so badly he or she can't work. That stuff happens to other people.
Opt-Out Generation: Invest in You
I'm not advocating everyone make the same choices I would make. I'm certainly not advocating everyone run out and find themselves jobs.
But what I am advocating is doing things that invest in you in the long-term. Not in your kids. Not in your spouse. In you.
Put some of the bills in your name, particularly the ones that are hard to get without any credit – the utilities, the insurance – and make sure your mortgage has both of your names on it.
Keep your skills fresh by working part-time, even if it's from home. Technology offers an amazing opportunity for many of us to raise our families and bring in a paycheck. As well, workplaces are becoming more flexible, giving both parents the opportunity to share responsibilities for sick kids or after school activities.
Find ways to keep your resume updated through volunteer activities that mean something to an employer.
This way, the opt-out generation has a way to opt back in. Maybe you'll be lucky and never need it. Or maybe you'll find yourself in need of something more when they kids go off to college. Or maybe something more drastic happens and you have no choice.
Whatever it happens to be, don't lose the opportunity to invest in you.
Leave a Reply
137 Comments on "What the Opt-Out Generation Means Longer-Term"
Liz "Be sure that you are taking as good care of yourself as you are of others." Amen!
I am glad you chimed in on this — don't have time to comment at length right now. I'm waiting to say anything (much) on Lean In until I've read it also. I think I need to bump it up the list. Thank you for sharing your personal experience.
biggreenpen Bump it up the list. My biggest takeaway from it is the criticism has come from people who clearly have not read it. They're taking one piece of one chapter and extrapolating their own views without taking the time to read the book. It's very, very good and I think every woman alive should read it.
ginidietrich biggreenpen I have heard a few reviews and read a few summaries of Lean In but this is definitely one of those books that it's not wise to comment on without reading. Same goes for "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" – anything I had written or said about it before reading it would have been misguided, at best.
bdorman264 I have a very good friend from college who lost her husband in November. He was sick for two years and she had to amp up things at work big time to pay his hospital bills and keep a roof over the head of her four girls. We had a few fundraisers to help her out, but it wasn't enough. It scares me to think this could happen to any of us.
HelenLevinson I'm with you – I appreciate the women who can stay at home. But it's really scary – like you – to watch your friends go through things they never would have expected in a million years. A good friend of mine from college lost her husband in November. She has four kids. If she had depended solely on him, she would have been totally screwed. It has nothing to do with having it all and everything to do with having your own independence…just in case.
Great post! I became the 'go-to neighbourhood mommy' for stay-at-home moms who wanted to get back into the workforce after 10+ years. And it's tough. It's also tough doing the high-flying corporate thing AND being a mother…I know this from experience. Everytime I see a well-known C-Suite-er saying she is 'very organized' that's how she makes it work? I shrug my shoulders and think, 'yeah, right." Our society still denigrates woman's work…as well, woman's work.
And another point? Have your own bank account.
ElissaFreeman I certainly don't advocate every woman should have a corporate job and a family. But I agree with you – your own bank account is a must. I would kill myself if I had to ask Mr. D for money. It has nothing to do with how much I love him and everything to do with having my own independence.
ginidietrich ElissaFreeman Ah, neither do I. But I do feel that society as a whole values woman's work in the workforce vs woman's work at home. One SHOULDN'T have to have a corporate background to be considered successful. And yes, the notion of asking for money would kill me too!
ElissaFreeman Did you read Lean In? I feel like you would like it. And we could have a really interesting conversation about it.
KristenDaukas Four out of the six. That's insane! I think your last point is very good. Your girls see you work hard and run a successful business. THAT says more to them than any kind of talk you could have about equality.
jacobvar The credit rating is sooooo important. I think many people forget about that when they consider leaving the workforce. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. But there are ways to do it – like you and your wife did – so it doesn't harm one person entirely if something goes wrong.
wandawhitson I'm with you on the part about the marriage. I think my mom would have left much earlier, too. It would have been better on all of us if she had. I love my dad, but their marriage was not a good one.
I watched both of my parents work hard throughout my youth. My mom home schooled all five of us kids and always kept businesses on the side. She owned a local newspaper with a sizable circulation, ran for state office, and owned a retail store at one point.
I'm always a little unsure of what to say when it comes to stay-at-home parents who stop working because that's so not me. I think you hit the key point though: never stop investing in yourself. No matter how "good" you have it, things can change in an instant.
Also, your mom rocks!
KateFinley My mom DOES rock. She's my best friend. Your mom rocks, too.
belllindsay One of my favourite quotes is Moltke the Elder- No battle plan survives contact with the enemy. None of us know what is coming, so think through some variables and have alternate possible plans.
belllindsay They were married for 28 years?! Wow.
ginidietrich Yes, 28 years – not sure if any of them were ever happy. 😉 Seriously. But they're both really happy now, and I have two great "step-parents" in my life.
Gstockton It sounds like a bottle of wine and the two of us in a room would be very interesting conversation!
Karen_C_Wilson You know, the hypocrisy you raise is really interesting. It's kind of like that moron who thinks you can't get pregnant if you were raped. Clearly he isn't thinking about what that statement means to his wife, daughters, and granddaughters.
ginidietrich Ugh…yes.
And I should not have said that it's just men who exhibit this hypocrisy. It's women too. I've worked for them as well.
This is why working for myself is just ever so much better. 🙂
Karen_C_Wilson Yes, in some cases, women are worse. It's really bad how poorly we treat one another.
mickeygomez I became a much better supervisor after I had children because I was more patient, more specific in my instructions and more invested in the success of my staff. (And you know I'm not saying you have to be a parent to be a good manager.) These are skills that employers should value. Not every skill of value in the workplace is developed on the job.
magriebler mickeygomez I think this absolutely will be a problem for stay-at-home dads. Mr. D has been out of a job for three years. About 18 months ago, he began interviewing for jobs and kept hearing that he wasn't eligible to be hired because he'd hadn't been working for 18 months. Of course, he had been working doing political campaigns, but that didn't translate to a "real" job. So he's been incubating a business this year, which will launch before Thanksgiving. It's the only way he's able to work.
Lara Wellman you have 3 under three and can still speak in complete sentences? Hats off to you for that alone!
photo chris lol. Thankfully they aren't all under 3 anymore. I'm not sure I COULD speak in complete sentences the first year the twins were born 😉
Lara Wellman photo chris SEE! And, you are a fully functioning woman now; it gives me hope! LOL
photo chris Lara Wellman BAHAHAHA!!
ginidietrich So close. I can't wait. I'm exceptionally lucky that my husband is so supportive of all that I do. Also, our house isn't fit for guests most of the time 😉
Lara Wellman My mom once said something really important to me: If you wash the windows on Mondays and they're dirty by Tuesday, you have to be okay with knowing they'll be clean again on Monday. If only for a day.
ginidietrich Lara Wellman My house is always a DISASTER!!! LOL
Word Ninja LOVE this! See- there is a way to do this masterfully, as you've shown. Even with all the random crap that life can fling at you.
RebeccaTodd Not sure "masterfully" was accomplished. Lots of bumps, bruises, and gashes. But scars are cool, right?
Word Ninja RebeccaTodd I have lots of scars too. It means we've lived. 🙂
belllindsay Word Ninja RebeccaTodd Scars are SO cool. I'm always a bit trepidatious of those that pretend they have none.
RebeccaTodd belllindsay Word Ninja I have some serious bumps, bruises, and gashes that will turn into scars in about a month. Does that count?
ginidietrich RebeccaTodd belllindsay They all count.
When my wife and I married, it was a first marriage for each of us. I was 41 and she was 38.
That means we'd both established our own lives, our own career paths, our own credit, history of ownership/renting, etc., etc., etc.
I would love to be able to 100 percent support my wife so she can do whatever she chooses. However, there is great comfort in knowing that if something happened to me, she can not just stand on her own, but excel on her own.
ClayMorgan We all know she wears the pants in your relationship. 🙂
RebeccaTodd I face this all the time – people want to know why we don't have kids. What's wrong with me? Why would I not be dying to have kids? Do I see us growing old without our own family? No. But I can't have kids and I'm okay with not being able to have biological children. But that raises a whole TON of issues and concerns from friends and family. It's kind of funny, actually. People.
ginidietrich RebeccaTodd Exactly! The new bane of my existence is "why are you single?"
Yep, EVEN from guys I date! To which I want to respond 'well douche bag because I'd rather be single than choose the best worst option from the assortment of poopheads like you that I'm faced with daily'
Howie Goldfarb "The more offensive thing is the view it is the woman who should be staying home."
The reason women get penalized for "opting out" is that it's almost always women opting out. If more men were doing it than women, you can bet your ass society would reconfigure to allow it.
a similar vein: I haven't read "lean in" yet because I have a sneaking
suspicion that the book's going to piss me off. Although, that would
make a good blog post, so maybe I should 😉
Kato42 Howie Goldfarb Here is a random interesting note, but at the company I'm consulting for right now they have maternity leave for both men and women. Same amount, same benefits. Only 2% of the men take it and when surveyed it is because they are afraid it will be culturally looked down upon or hurt their future opportunity. Men face discrimination in this way too….
LauraPetrolino Kato42 Howie Goldfarb Facebook does that too, and the same results.
Howie Goldfarb But here's the thing: Even if you work at WalMart or McDonald's or wherever, you give up the years you've invested in working when you stay at home. What if someone has worked up to store manager? Do you think they're going to get hired back at that level if they take 10 years off to raise their kids?
Howie Goldfarb RebeccaTodd ginidietrich belllindsay Heck yeah!!! I am totally in the market for a wife. Husband didn't work out for me so well…
RebeccaTodd Howie Goldfarb "Try to get a pretty one. They never get traffic tickets." LOL!! Now you know why the car insurance is in my name.
ginidietrich RebeccaTodd Howie Goldfarb Man I always get full tickets. I have a too-obvious issue with authority, I think.
susancellura Read Lean In. I want to have a conversation with you about it. I'm making eveypistorio read it, too.
Will do.
lizreusswig I have Lean In on the brain right now because I'm just finishing it, but one of the things she says is woman make up more than half the population. Can you imagine what would happen if we all worked together instead of against one another? We certainly could change a lot of these issues.
ginidietrich lizreusswig Yes, yes, yes!!!
photo chris I wish I could "like" this comment a million times over! Awesome. Just awesome.
TaraGeissinger photo chris Thanks Tara!
photo chris ginidietrich My poor son has grown up hearing variations of these his whole life "Ok, it's adult time now!" "Go and play!" "You have to bored sometimes, you have to figure out how NOT to be bored!" – I'm no helicopter parent – and I'm not his "friend" – I'm his mom. He's turned out pretty good (touch wood) so far. 😉
belllindsay photo chris ginidietrich Perhaps our children can get a group rate in therapy together? LOL
photo chris belllindsay ginidietrich Hah yup! How many times we heard "just go outside and PLAY!"
RebeccaTodd photo chris belllindsay My mom and I had this very conversation last night. We were always told to go outside and play. Even in the dead of winter.
ginidietrich RebeccaTodd photo chris belllindsay LOL- if you could have seen my sitter's face this past winter when I said- snow pants are here…they need to be out at least 20 minutes (3 and 6)…. a day! My so currently greets everything by whacking at it- outside is the only SAFE place for him to be! LOL
photo chris Don't bother with Lean IN — it's nothing new a more than a little self-serving. Better to reread The Feminine Mystique (at least Friedan was original). Then again, I'm older than Sandberg and have already overdiscussed all that over the years, so I'm not as easily impressed.
PREACH IT, GIRL! This is about women making smart choices, especially investing in a "plan B" that can get you back up on your feet. And sadly, not many women think this way, and I don't know why. Nothing in this life is guaranteed, and credit runs out quickly. Gosh, and I know women who are in this situation now. It makes me anxious for them.
ifdyperez It makes me anxious, too. My SIL just bought a house with her baby daddy (who we really like so it's not as derogatory as that sounds) and I FREAKED out when she said she wasn't on the mortgage. I made her change that immediately. No one is losing out on that on my watch!
ifdyperez Smart choices are the ones that are right for you now but won't come back to bite you in the *** later … and it's not always possible to know that, although some things are more likely than others to bite you later. What IS certain is that it's always better to have not just plan B but also plan C **AND** your own money, preferably a decent nest egg, before you take a big risk. And if you don't have that, either don't take the risk or be prepared for subsequent unpleasantness. Informed choices and trade-offs, right?
TaraGeissinger It worked for me, but it wouldn't for everyone. Like everything, I believe it's about balance. And I couldn't stand the thought of someone else raising my children, at least while they were small. If anyone was going to screw them up, it was going to be me, dammit.
TaraGeissinger It's like having a crisis plan for your business. It's insurance. Hopefully you'll never need it, but if you do…boy, it sure is good to have it. I was thinking about how much I want to do Ride the Rockies next year and, if we have kids by then, how cool it would be for them to see their mom finish a ride like that. It IS all about being a role model and I think that is very, very cool of you to think about it that way.
ginidietrich TaraGeissinger That's exactly what it's like! The whole "put your own oxygen mask on first" so that you can help others mentality. I think women in general lose themselves in Mommy Land and forget that if they aren't taking care of themselves — and truly feeding their soul — that it could end very, very badly. It's not all fairy tales.
TaraGeissinger ginidietrich I use the oxygen mask analogy A LOT! It's so true.
Everything you say in this post makes perfect sense. I agree with it all. But I do despair that we are still having these conversations in 2013. Back in the 70s they told us things were going to be different for women from now on…how wrong they were. I do hope things will be different for my Granddaughter.
sherrilynne If you haven't read Lean In yet, you should. She says this exact thing. She thought her generation wouldn't have to fight for equality because there was so much done on it in the 60s and 70s. Turns out, it's just not the case. And that sucks.
ginidietrich sherrilynne I'll put it on my reading list.
Rvirginia Freelancing worked well for me while I was home with 1 then 2 then 3 kids, although I did it on a small scale among other pursuits. We lived below our means, and the money I made was used for special trips or things around the house. And man did those years raising kids fly by… But, yes, I also recommend that you freelance or go to school. You and your dreams and goals are important.
Word Ninja Rvirginia Not to mention adult conversation!
ginidietrich Word Ninja Rvirginia um….may I point out that having a job does not necessairly mean you get to have adult conversations?
photo chris Word Ninja Rvirginia HAHAHAHAHAH!!
Rvirginia Congratulations on being a new mom! That's exciting! I believe strongly in paying it forward. So, if I can help in any way should you decide to freelance or need help with class projects or anything, please let me know!
Thank you for your offer – I really appreciate that. And I'm so glad I found your blog. Really great pieces on here.
ryancox The best thing you can do for those friends is support them and help them understand how to invest in themselves. We need everyone to be supportive…not just other women.
ginidietrich ryancox I did not know that Ryan (nephews). Good work. The little men will be better for having you in their lives.
To leave a career and let yourself become less valuable, work-wise, is to court disaster. I hate to sound like we can't trust anybody, but even if a loving partner fully intends to support us and the children we raise, life can intervene in the form of layoff, illness or death. I would never for a minute trust another human being to support me. Your advice is perfect. Stay in the game somehow. Your financial life may depend on it.
lmspreen I'm also a big believer in being in charge of your own destiny. Why let someone else do that for you?
Karen_C_Wilson Karen, I'd like to give this comment a BIG GOLD STAR! Yes, agree with you on all counts! I have more to say on this issue, I'll circle back later today!
LauraPetrolino Aww, thanks! Can't wait to hear more.
ginidietrich oh and apologies on the computer 🙂 It was all actually part of my catty female plan to limit your success!! Muahhahahaha! I've also simultaneously submitted an expose story to HuffPo reporting on how the only reason AD is thriving is because you pimp both belllindsay and yvettepistorio out as female escorts to all new clients. I mean obviously, that is the only reason a woman leader would be successful right?
LauraPetrolino ginidietrich I have a lot of guy friends too. Women suck sometimes. I don't know why it happens.
LauraPetrolino belllindsay yvettepistorio Yes, you're right. It's the only way to be successful. Sleep your way to the top.
ginidietrich LauraPetrolino belllindsay yvettepistorio ….bra strap.
photo chris Will you email me? I have a question for you. gdietrich at armentdietrich dot com.
ginidietrich photo chris yes, just did!
LauraPetrolino ginidietrich I have male friends (some for more than 35 years) and I have female friends, and I don't get drama from any of them. Then again, maybe I'm more careful about whom I call friends. I sure don't mean all those folks I know through Facebook and LinkedIn. Those are contacts or colleagues, not friends. I don't confuse the two.
AmyMccTobin ginidietrich Ohhh! That is a powerful thought — and I totally agree with it. Thankfully my husband is the best friend and partner I could ever imagine, but I never really thought about it in terms of being a career move. My brain is spinning. I think I have to read the book.
TaraGeissinger AmyMccTobin ginidietrich Sandberg outlines that something like 19 of the top 20 female CEOs have long lasting marriages.
AmyMccTobin TaraGeissinger It's actually 18 – one is divorced and one has never married.
ginidietrich AmyMccTobin I loved Lean In and reviewed it here: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/601602339
rdopping Amen, Ralph. Amen! I knew I liked you for a reason.
MRTraska Your mom sounds like a hero, and you've made your own way. However, I don't think SS can objectively be called a "twit" and I don't think you can know whether she's make tradeoffs. It doesn't further the discussion.
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About CMS User 3
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Euro Cycles of Tampa Bay
8509 Gunn Hwy,
Odessa, FL 33556
Phone: (813) 926-9937
Fax: (813) 926-5660
Email : firstname.lastname@example.com
Our Hours Of Operation are
Tuesday-Friday : 9am to 6pm
Saturday : 8am to 5pm
Closed Sunday and Monday…
We need to Ride too!
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Mike from dBPlugz is on site for your custom ear bud needs. Make a stop on your Saturday Patterson ride and demo your next bike! ... See MoreSee Less
29 minutes ago
dBPlugz likes this
Ronin Vintage
The world wide ride known as the DGR is coming up. The site goes live on Monday. Sign up and start raising funds to fight prostate cancer. The local Tampa Bay ride led by Ronin Vintage has led the way the past two years with $18k in 2014 and $21k in 2015. ... See MoreSee Less
The Distinguished Gentleman's Ride 2016 is coming and we can not wait! We have been involved the past two years here locally along long with Dime City Cycles and the results show that we have one fucking rad moto community here! In 2014 we raised well over $18k and last year we surpassed $21k with the Tampa Bay ride in the top 10 and one of our riders, Tai Swank , in the top ten both years! Lets keep throttling forward and keep the momentum going! Video: Momentum Sponsors: Triumph Motorcycles Dime City Hosts: Ronin Vintage
15 hours ago
Euro Cycles of Tampa Bay, Evan Pietri and 2 others like this
Euro Cycles of Tampa Bay shared their . ... See MoreSee Less
Entry Level Motorcycle Mechanic Wanted: We are a Ducati/Aprilia/BMW/MV Agusta/Moto Guzzi/Norton/Motus Dealership in need of Motorcycle Technician . Certified Tech preferred but not a must if experienced. Must have some shop experience. Must be willing to repair any brand motorcycle. Must be a team player and have a positive, friendly, motivated attitude. Euro Cycles offers a friendly, clean work environment and advancement opportunities with excellent work atmosphere and great benefits! Pay varies with experience. Please email resume. email@example.com
17 hours ago
William McDonald likes this
Ducati of Tampa Bay
8 riders Drag Racing the Diavel? Sounds fun! ... See MoreSee Less
World Ducati Week 2016 8 riders, 8 Diavel Carbons – a challenge to the final sprint which saw Scott Redding winning ahead of Casey Stoner and Régis Laconi.
17 hours ago
GS Riders of Euro Cycles of Tampa Bay, Aprilia of Tampa Bay and 3 others like this
BMW Motorcycles of Tampa Bay
This video from BMW Motorrad is amazing. Make life a ride today with a GS!
#motorrad #makelifearide #gs #f800 #r1200 #bmw #adv #adventure #touring ... See MoreSee Less
Great video from BMW Motorrad "GS Spirit"
22 hours ago
আসিফ চৌধুরী, Scott Peters and 4 others like this


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The hotel is located near the marine and to the exit of the city. You could go to the old city just by 4minutes of walk
The hotel's room were very small.
Friendly atmosphere, very helpful
It was a very convenient hotel on route to a longer stay. The place was clean. The parking was ideal.
Pity we could only be offered a meal of the day in the evening.
Godd location near the little-Beltbridgeand a perfect nigtoverstay when our daugter should begin education in Kolding
Easy to find, for transit travellers. Kind reception stuff.
is time to make some refreshing works
Very good hotel, luxurious rooms, very friendly staff, very good breakfast.
Although the central location is near Fredericia beach and Kolding, the hotel is a bit in the middle of nowhere.
Location is fine and staff service ecellent and very helpful. Rooms are modern and comfortable especially those with view over the park. Brekfast is good as well. In reception is a very convenient small shop with soft drinks and sandwiches.
The wireless internet was problematic and only after long time and special help from reception we managed to connect one of our two laptops. Parking is just outside but it costs DKK 80 overnight. The hotel resturants were closed the day we stayed but fortuneatly there is a nice italian resturant nearby. Seems that nearly half of the rooms have view over the parking place and a plain brick wall opposide but on the other side is a very nice view over a quiet park.
The room and the bathroom were okay. Parking area was also good.
The breakfast was poor (bad-tasting juices, e. g. orange juice!). The value for money is not good.
Breakfast Service. Breakfast table not filled on, if you arrive an hour before closing there is hardly enything left.
Good location for business, staff warm and friendly, pleasant views and food excellent
The nice suroundings outside.
It is an excellent place to relax and unwind. I felt that time stopped and could find myself again.
Food was just great. Service all over very good, partly better than expected. Fitness room and sauna ok. I will definitely go back.
No free weights in the gym. Pool was a bit on the cool side for me - perhaps as I was still recuperating from a flu.
The location is very nice
Very nice welcom by our hostess, she showed us the property around the house en our studio, which was lovely. Everything looks new and the decoration was very tasteful. Nice bed, clean shower and kitchen.
Beautifully furnished rooms,warm personilized and dedicated service
Free internet connection had technical problems and was not working properly
Restaurant very poor - no choice of meal. Breakfast very average.
Tilgjengeligheten var bra
No air-condition! Impossible to sleep in +30 C. The only way to let air into the room is through a very small window above the door.
The location is good - the hotel is not far from the beach.The hotel staff is very friendly an helpful. The rooms are clean with modern facilities. And what is very important in my case,the dogs are allowed. I liked my stay very much and would strongly recomend this hotel to those who travel with their pets.
A very pleasant stay, the spacious and airy room was peaceful and the toys were great for my toddler
Located in a calm farm area. Very clean and nicely decorated. Best value for the money you pay. A very nice place where to stay for some days.
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Read an Excerpt
Love Street
The city sure knew how to hate. She knew that now, walking naked except for a pair of bloody panties that clung modesty to her left ankle. She spread her broken arms as a car rumbled on, headlights on bright. The light hurt her eyes--amazing she could feel them at all, with shards of bone jutting out from her forearm, and with the lining of her vagina hanging out six inches between her thighs. The wall between her vagina and anus had gone the way of Berlin. Yet the car never stopped, except in her dreams. The light vanished, and all was dark again.
She fell down again, twisting her ankle and cracking her skull against the curb. It was just another broken bone. Deprived of her legs, she crawled, digging her fingernails into the wet cement. The street lamp a dozen yards ahead flicked on and off; it had been shot up earlier that evening. Broken syringes and used condoms flowed into her face, going with the motion in the gutter. And to think that just three hours ago she'd been a virgin.
The skin flapped from the backs of her hands where he'd cut her. She broke a fingernail off in a metal grating where the water liked to go. Then she stopped crawling, and just concentrated on breathing.
The feel of the knife in her womb was preferable to the sound of that water dripping down into nothing.
Nearby, the sign read 'Love Street--it had once read Lovendale Street,' but someone had spray-painted a penis on the third syllable in that name. She raised her head one last time, and read the sign, and her lower jaw trembled. Rain gushed through her bangs, cleaning the four inch cut in her forehead down to the naked skull.
She cursed the sign, until shecouldn't hold her head up anymore. Then she closed her eyes and never opened them again.


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Carole Irene
Learn about upgrading this memorial...
May 24, 1934
Wayne County
Michigan, USA
Jan. 17, 2013
Ponca City
Kay County
Oklahoma, USA
Carole Irene Farley Didlake
Carole Irene Farley Didlake was born May 24, 1934 in Detroit, Mich., to Leslie Farley and Jessie Morris Farley.
She went to be with Our Lord, family and friends on Jan. 17, 2013.
She attended high school in Seattle, Wash., where she met her future husband, Jim Didlake. They married in 1953 and moved back to his home state of Oklahoma, where he made a true Okie of her.
They lived in Stillwater while he received his degree from Oklahoma State University and settled in Ponca City in 1966. Together they had four children: Paul, Kerin, Russ and Mardi.
After raising her children, Carole went back to her love of banking and retired as vice-president of First National Bank after a 30 year career. Jim preceded her in death in 1986.
For a number of years, she was the Travel Coordinator for the Heritage Club at First National Bank and traveling became her passion. She married Downing Johnson in 1997 and continued her love of travel by touring the United States with him until his death in 2006.
Carole was a long time member of Grace Episcopal Church, where she was involved with ECW, Daughters of the King, Friendship Feast and was a past vestry member. She made lifelong friendships with her beloved sisters of Xi Gamma Sigma Chapter of Beta Sigma Phi.
In 1992 she was inducted as the first woman president of the Pioneer Rotary club. She continued as a Rotarian and lived its motto of "service above self." She served as chairman of the board for the Ponca City American Red Cross. Over the years she was a member of 20th Century, PEO chapter FC, Ponca City Mother's Club and Eastern Star. She volunteered for a number of organizations including Hospice, the Ponca City Humane Society and the Marland Children Home.
She served as a tutor with the Literacy Council and as a guide for the Marland Mansion. She remained active in her church and community until her death.
Carole will be remembered for her larger than life personality, her smile, her open arms and her loving warmth. She loved people and called them all her friends. She brought a smile and a little joy to everyone's lives.
She is survived by her son, Paul Didlake and wife, Lisa, of Bartlesville; daughter, Kerin Didlake Miller and husband, Sherman, of Broken Arrow; son, Russ Didlake and wife, Tracy, of Ponca City; and daughter, Mardi Didlake Gates and husband, Adrian, of Seattle, Wash.; brother, Howard Farley and wife, Julie, of Nome, Alaska; Reid Johnson and wife, Carolyn, of Ponca City; twelve grandchildren, Andy and Amanda Miller, Carrie and Terry Laughlin, Brook and Winston Lindsay, Clair and Dustin Wood, Seth and Amanda Miller, Hutch Didlake and Emily Dewey, Jake, Blair and Morgan Didlake, Wyatt, Caroline and Georgia Gates; fourteen great-grandchildren and one on the way, a host of beloved family and many dear friends, and her dog "Buddy Boy".
Viewing will be held at Trout Funeral Home on Sunday noon to 8 p.m., Monday 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. and Tuesday 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.
A memorial service will be held at 11 a.m., Thursday, Jan. 23, at Grace Episcopal Church in Ponca City. In lieu of flowers, please make donations in her name to Grace Episcopal Church, Marland Children Home or the Humane Society.
Ponca City - Carole Didlake, 78, died Thursday. Services pending. Trout.
-Tulsa World 1-19-2013
Family links:
Jimmie D Didlake (1932 - 1986)
John Downing Johnson (1927 - 2006)
Resthaven Memorial Park
Ponca City
Kay County
Oklahoma, USA
Created by:
Abby Normal
Record added: Jan 18, 2013
Find A Grave Memorial# 103768353
Cemetery Photo
Added by:
Judy Mayfield
Photos may be scaled.
Click on image for full size.
Added: Jan. 21, 2013
Abby Normal
Added: Jan. 19, 2013
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- (21)Complete SystemsFerrari FF
- (64)HeadersFerrari FF
- (58)Catalytic ConvertersFerrari FF
- (188)MufflersFerrari FF
- (1)Exhaust StacksFerrari FF
- (149)Exhaust TipsFerrari FF
- (178)Exhaust PipesFerrari FF
- (103)Clamps, Hangers, GasketsFerrari FF
- (147)Emission ControlFerrari FF
- (56)Performance ChipsFerrari FF
Featured Brands
The Ferrari FF is one of the most exclusive all-weather GT cars of our time. Perfect for driving in snow as it is for summer cruising, the FF does give an exemplary performance no matter where you choose to drive it. Ensure that the performance of your FF does not drop by fitting it with a custom exhaust system from CARiD. Specially built to enhance engine efficiency, FF custom exhausts eliminate all exhaust flow restrictions within the exhaust system, enabling the engine to breathe freely and operate without any hindrance. You stand to enjoy up to 20% extra horsepower and torque, a percentage that varies from one exhaust system to the other. Borla, Flowmaster, Gibson and MagnaFlow FF cat back systems are some of the exhausts to choose from. Each exhaust system is designed to match the FF engine capacity and specifications and you won't have a problem with fitting.
However, the results vary from exhaust to exhaust, so get the details of each before making up your mind on which one to buy. Should you feel confused, comprehensive expert help and advice from the folks at CARiD is at hand to guide you. Other than performance improvement, you will love the deeper note the FF custom exhaust adds to your car. It is a sound that you do not get to hear on any other car, and even though the sound levels may vary from one exhaust brand to the other, all are distinct and only serve to enhance the unique Ferrari engine sound. Spend a little money on a FF custom exhaust now and enjoy lasting performance. This is what you get when you choose to invest in a superior quality performance exhaust. Compared to buying a cheap exhaust system that needs to be replaced every two years, Ferrari FF custom exhaust systems are far more economical.
- Flowmaster® Pipe KitUniversal Scavenger X-Pipe Kit by Flowmaster®. The Patented D-Port design of the Scavenger X-Pipe Kit creates a low-pressure area where the exhaust pulse from one pipe helps pull the next exhaust pulse from the other pipe out of...$71.08 - $373.93
- DynoMax® Race Series Bullet MufflerRace Series Bullet Muffler by DynoMax®. This dyno tested and track proven muffler features unrestricted, straight-through design for maximum horsepower and CRF Technology for sound reduction. Its 100% welded construction ensures...Unrestricted, straight-through design for a dyno tested and track proven increase in horsepower and torqueEngineered to provide a deep race sound$20.03 - $75.78
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- DynoMax® Ultra Flo™ Welded MufflerThis muffler-back exhaust system includes pipe, clamps, tip, and Ultra Flo Welded muffler that features unrestricted, straight-through design for a dyno-proven increase in power and maintains a deep throaty tone while absorbing...Unrestricted, straight-through design for a dyno-proven increase in horsepower and torqueEngineered to give your car a deep performance tone$66.15 - $216.24
- DynoMax® VT™ MufflerVT™ Muffler by DynoMax®. The revolutionary DynoMax VT performance muffler will give your vehicle a deep, throaty sound and eliminate drone while increasing exhaust flow and horsepower. It is built using the exclusive DynoMax...Unrestricted, straight-through design for a dyno-proven increase in horsepower and torqueExclusive DynoMax Valve Technology delivers on-demand, drone-free performance and sound$90.87 - $237.42
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- AP Exhaust® Xlerator™ Stainless Steel Exhaust TipXlerator™ Stainless Steel Exhaust Tip by AP Exhaust®. Today's exhaust performance market continues to cover a broad spectrum of vehicles. The unique nature of this market is that a product demand is not based on vehicle age or...Made from first-rate materialsEnsures outstanding durability$6.16 - $73.13
- Stainless Works® 304 SS Pipe304 SS Dual Center Section Pipe, 3" by Stainless Works®. Tubing Diameter: 3". Connection Point: Factory Connect. Crossover Style: X-Pipe. CARB Compliant: Yes. This superior product is made from high-grade stainless steel to ensure...Designed to meet strict quality standardsCarefully crafted from first-rate stainless steel$42.30 - $670.50
- Hooker® BlackHeart™ Mid-PipeBlackHeart™ Mid-Pipe without Resonator by Hooker®. Series: BlackHeart™. Header Material: 304 SS. Without Resonator. At the heart of any performance vehicle is the exhaust system. Hooker with its classic heart logo has been at...Lightweight, 18-gauge, 304 stainless steel construction maximizing strength and durabilityAvailable with or without resonator$199.95 - $549.95
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- Diamond Eye® Muffler Delete TubeMuffler Delete Tube by Diamond Eye Performance®. This products is created for those who are not afraid of the power. It is fine-tuned to deliver unrestricted power and tested against competition for maximum performance. The product...$23.94 - $86.49
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- Performance Exhaust SystemsHere's A "Tip": Exhaust Tips Are An Easy Way To Dress Up Your TailpipePerformance exhaust systems give you improvements in power output, sound levels, and appearance, all in one package. But let's face it: not everyone has the spare change to buy and bolt up one of these kits. So you soldier on with what you have. And that may be a tired-looking exhaust system that is still functional. You've spent all day washing and waxing the vehicle's paint and chrome to perfection, but no degree of elbow grease will make that tailpipe look better.
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- Performance Exhaust SystemsAre X-pipes and H-pipes Better Than Straight Pipes on Dual Exhaust Systems?You may be wondering why so many aftermarket performance exhaust system manufacturers are offering dual exhaust systems connected by "H-pipe" or "X-pipe" sections. After all, aren't two separate pipes, or so-called "true duals", the best for performance? The answer is no, but to understand why we have to examine how a typical internal combustion engine works.
- Performance Exhaust SystemsPower, Sound, Looks | Can I Have It All With a Cat-Back Exhaust System?It's an age-old question that many have asked. Will an aftermarket exhaust be worth the expense? While they definitely can be, an important question to ask yourself is do you care more about the deeper sound they're designed to produce, or the added performance gained from being less restrictive? As car enthusiasts, we've become accustomed to associating the sound of a car with its exhaust. After all, doesn't everyone have a childhood memory or two of a car and the particular sound it made?
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Bike Accessories
Twisted Throttle offers a huge line of motorcycle accessories designed to outfit your bike the way you want it! From covers to keep your motorbike safe from the elements, to centerstands & fender extenders - we've got you covered! We strive to provide our customers with a full line of motorcycle accessories that enable making the most of any riding adventure.
What We Offer:
|Motorcycle Gear Packages
|Brake Lines
|Mirrors & Mirror Extensions
|Sidestands & Sidestand Feet
|Rear Huggers
|Exhaust Hangers
|Fender Eliminators
|Fender Extenders
|Frame Inserts
R&G passenger foot rest blanking plates for BMW HP4 '13-'15, S1000RR '10-'14 & S1000R '14-'16Tidy up the rear of your bike once you have removed the rear footrest hangers with these blanking plates. Learn More$52.99
R&G Rear Foot Rest Blanking Plate For KTM 690 Duke IV '12-'15Tidy up the rear of your bike once you have removed the rear footrest hangers with these blanking plates. Learn More$58.99
R&G Passenger Foot Rest Blanking Plate For Kawasaki Ninja 300 '13-'16 | Left SideTidy up the rear of your bike once you have removed the rear footrest hangers with these blanking plates. Learn More$36.99
R&G Universal License Plate AdapterR&G Universal License Plate Adapter. Used to help fit some Tidy Tails originally designed for European marker plates with American & Canadian license plates. Learn More$12.50
R&G Spindle Blanking Kit for Select Ducati Motorcycles$88.99
R&G Top Yoke Cap for Husqvarna TR650 Strada '13$18.75
R&G Top Yoke Cap for Kawasaki Ninja 300 '13-'16$29.99
R&G Top Yoke Cap for Triumph Daytona 675 '13-'16, BMW S1000RR '10-'16, BMW S1000R '14-'16 & RnineT '14-'16$26.75
R&G Carbon Kevlar Tank Sliders for Honda CBR500R '13-'15Provide crash protection and wear resistance to your motorcycle's expensive and vulnerable fuel tank with R&G Carbon Kevlar Tank Sliders. Learn More$124.99
R&G Rear Left & Right Footrest Blanking Plates for Yamaha FZ8 '11-'14Tidy up the rear of your bike, once you have removed the rear footrest hangers, with this blanking plate. Learn More$45.99
R&G Top Yoke Cap for Suzuki V-Strom 1000 '14-'16, Yamaha YZF-R1 '15-'16, FZ-10 '17 & Honda CRF1000L Africa Twin '16$26.75
R&G Ratchet Motorcycle Tie Down Strap SetSecure your motorcycle while transporting with R&G Ratchet Tie Down Strap Set. Learn More$18.75
R&G Micro Indicator Tail Tidy Adapters for KTM 950 Supermoto, 950 Supermoto R, 990 Supermoto '08-'12, 990 Supermoto R '08-'12 & 990 SMR '12-'14Mount R&G micro indicators to R&G Tail Tidy Fender Eliminator with R&G Micro Indicator Tail Tidy Adapters Learn More$27.75
R&G passenger foot rest blanking plates for Triumph Daytona 675 '06-'12Tidy up the rear of your bike once you have removed the rear footrest hangers with these blanking plates. Learn More$58.99
Klim Tie DownKlim Tie Down Straps for Motorcycle, ATV & Snowmobile Learn More$34.99
Klim Tow StrapKlim Tow Strap Recovery Learn More$34.99
R&G Aluminum Instrument Fascia for Triumph Thruxton '04-'07Provide a clean and retro look to your motorcycle with the R&G Aluminum Instrument Fascia. Learn More$114.99
R&G Aluminum Instrument Fascia for Triumph Thruxton '08-'13Provide a clean and retro look to your motorcycle with the R&G Aluminum Instrument Fascia. Learn More$114.99
R&G Spindle Blanking Kit for Ducati Monster 1200 '14-'16 & Monster 1200S '14-'16$88.99
R&G Spindle Blanking Kit for MV Agusta Rivale 800, Dragster 800 '14-'16 & F4 1000R '13-'15$85.99
R&G Instrument Fascia for Triumph Thruxton '08-'16 with Flat Bars
Give your bike a cleaner, more retro look with the R&G Aluminum Instrument Fascia.
- Durable aluminum construction
- Brushed aluminum fascia
- Anodized black bottom bracket
- Relocates key to instrument panel
- Blanking plate included if original ignition location desired
- Flatter profile for instrument dials
- Suitable for the Triumph Thruxton with flat bars (not clip-ons)
Please Note: This Instrument Fascia does NOT fit the BonnevilleLearn More$114.99
R&G Rear Foot Rest Blanking Kit for Yamaha R3 '15This R&G Rear Foot Rest Blanking Kit covers up the unsightly holes left behind in your subframe from the removal of passenger foot pegs. We know how important it is that you keep your bike tidy and sharp looking at all times! Ride on! Learn More$52.99
R&G Tank Traction Grips for Kawasaki Vulcan S '15-'16 | Black
The R&G Tank Traction Grips offer enhanced control and comfort of the Vulcan S by improving your ability to hold onto the gas tank without slipping. A durable yet pliable synthetic material offers a unique texture that is friendly on your gear but grippy enough to allow safe and secure maneuverability on your bike. These tank grips come with an adhesive backing that is reliable and friendly to use on painted finishes. Reduce fatigue inn your hands, wrists and arms by enjoying extra support from your lower body when gripping the gas tank. Body weight can be effectively transferred into the bike under hard braking allowing you to focus input on the handlebars for directional changes.Learn More$47.99
R&G Workshop Mat 78" x 60" | Large
The R&G Workshop Mat is a luxurious way to park your motorcycle on display or as a comfortable workspace to wrench on. Abrasion resistant, anti-stretch, anti-crease, washable and quick drying properties allow you to perform maintenance without worrying about oil or other chemical spills. Every enthusiast should have this mat in their garage to enhance the wrenching experience and your rig also deserves a comfortable place to rest.Learn More$132.50
Kryptonite Evolution Series 4 LS U-Lock With Transit FlexFrame Bracket, 11.5"The Kryptonite Evolution Series 4 LS U-Lock With Transit FlexFrame Bracket has an extra long shackle manufactured using 14mm hardened MAX-Performance steel. Learn More$82.45
Kryptonite HardWire 2018 Key Cable Security Lock | 6 FootThe Kryptonite HardWire 2018 Key Cable Security Lock is designed to improve resistance to theft by cutting with 6 feet of braided steel cable to keep your property safe. Vinyl coated braided steel almost 2 inches thick is equipped with a reinforced locking head that increases strength to combat attacks. The "Talon" lock pin on this beefy HardWire security lock can rotate 360 degrees to make locking and unlocking a breeze. The locking cylinder also features an automatic closing weather guard with anti-drill safeguard. Protect what you value from those with no value! Learn More$66.95
Kryptonite Evolution Series 4 Disc Lock | RedThe Kryptonite Evolution Series 4 Disc Lock is designed to be installed on your front or rear brake rotor to prevent roll away theft of your motorcycle. A hardened 14 mm (.5") steel shackle is resistant to cutting and leverage violations and is equipped with a double deadbolt lock mechanism that is protected by an anti-drill, anti-pull high security disc style lock cylinder. This beefy disc lock is finished in an attractive red vinyl and comes with 3 keys, one that has a bright light built in to assist in locking / unlocking. Keep what you value safe from those with no value! Learn More$51.95
R&G Fender Extender For Kawasaki Vulcan S '15-'16The R&G fender extender is designed using 3D innovative scanning technologies to provide a tailored fit to your motorcycles front fender. When installed this sturdy ABS plastic guard offers protection to fairing panels, downpipes, and front mounted coolers from projectiles kicked up by the front wheel. Simply mount the fender extension to the OEM unit with the included adhesive tap and pop rivets to deflect projectiles away from vulnerable and valuable components. Grab an R&G fender extender and help keep your Vulcan S looking great, and running smoothly. Learn More$34.95
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text: It's not easy being in mixed greens: A Florida woman says she bought this nine-ounce bag of "Market Fresh" salad at Wal-Mart last Thursday and noticed only today that it contained a living, breathing, tiny pink frog hiding out among the dilapidated romaine and carrot shreds. The home video is worth it just for the audio alone. Man's voice: "This is a frog or some kind of reptile inside of this salad bag we bought from — " Woman's voice, somewhat dejected, from the television room: "Wal-Mart." Man: "Wal-Mart. My wife noticed this reptile or whatever this is in it, in the bag." Frog (parched, barely perceptible): "I'm an amphibian. Please let me out." [WFTV]


text:
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Opening Nebraskas skies: Congress restores funds to North Platte airport
Davis at the Legislature: Paying tribute to the cowboy culture
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The North Platte Platte Area Children's Museum is excited to announce the completed renovations on our lower level.
These stunning improvements to our facility were made possible in part by a grant from the Mid-Nebraska Community Foundation. We would like to say thank you for their continued support of the museum and helping us achieve our mission of "Making a World of Difference".
Come on in and experience our freshly revamped and modernized place of interactive learning, play, and discovery.
By Cassie Condon, NPACM Board President
Flatrock Publishing, Inc.
1300 E 4th St., Suite F
North Platte, NE 69101


text:
How would I catch a member variable by value when using C++11 lambda expressions?
Using the
[my_member] syntax doesn't seem to work, and implicit capture uses the
this pointer. What is need is a way to explicitly specify capture type of member variables. Is that possible?
My workaround for now is:
void member_function()
std::shared_ptr<my_member_class> my_member_copy = my_member; // this shouldn't be necessary
std::async([=]{ std::cout << *my_member_copy; });
// std::async([=]{ std::cout << *my_member_; }); // wrong, my member could be potentially out of scope


text:
In the past, the Class A Cleveland Indians affiliate has staged tongue-in-cheek "tributes" to LeBron James, the Summer Olympics, and Cleveland's ignominious sports history. Armstrong will get the Captains treatment via the team's "LanceStrong Night" promotion, a light-hearted response to the celebrated cyclist's now-tarnished legacy.
Scheduled for June 29 (the day that the Tour de France begins), LanceStrong Night includes a bevy of inspired one-time-only elements. The evening will begin with a pre-recorded version of the National Anthem sung by Armstrong's ex-paramour Sheryl Crow, and this will soon give way to a "spandex fashion show," as sartorially daring fans strut their skin-tight stuff atop the dugout (perhaps inevitably, the winner receives a new bicycle). Attendees are also encouraged to wear their LiveStrong bracelets to the ballpark, so that they may compete in games such as ring toss, bracelet stacking, and the not-so-succinctly named "who can get the most bracelets on their arm?"
Though the Captains are clearly poking fun at Armstrong after his admission to using performance-enhancing drugs, they are also taking pains to ensure that the promotion's overall tone is one of positivity. Neil Stein, the Captains assistant general manager, said that the team plans to partner with a local wellness organization to promote a "Bike to the Ballpark" component of the evening. And for each fan who wears one of the aforementioned LiveStrong bracelets to the game, the team will donate $1 to the organization.
"LiveStrong is still a legitimate organization, and the casual person might not know that [Armstrong] is not affiliated with them anymore," said Stein. "So when we started talking about doing this, we said, 'Let's figure out a way to get a donation back to those guys.' We still want to do some good."
Such is the nature of Minor League Baseball, as the desire to quickly and irreverently capitalize on current events must coexist with a relentlessly positive and family-friendly operating philosophy. Thus, the Captains will be poking fun at Armstrong in a way that will be more absurdist than scathing. The prizes in the post-game Launch-A-Ball contest, for example, include first aid kits, used LiveStrong exercise equipment and Louis Armstrong CDs.
And since "LanceStrong Night" is still more than five months away, the Captains have plenty of time to plan additional Armstrong-related innovations.
"We've hardly scratched the surface," said Stein. "We wanted to be the first to do [an Armstrong promotion], but we don't yet have all our ducks in a row. The idea is out there, and now we can start a conversation."
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