text:
The Movie with Two Brains, or...
The Brain from Planet Arous (1957)
Written by Ray Buffum
Details at the IMDB, US.IMDB
Think about buying this at Reel.com
Pride goes before destruction and haughtiness before a fall.
His wife talked to him about how he was becoming a zombie. He thought about it for a moment, and said, "No, not a zombie. A dybuk." After waiting for the expected quizzical expression, he explained. "A dybuk is a Jewish thing. It's sort of like demonic possession, but it's more a ghost. The possessing spirit was someone who'd died before finishing something important, like finding the answer to a tough intellectual question. It would possess someone like a student and force him to continue the work. The victim ambitiously continues the work, completely focused on it, while forsaking things that were important in his life before the dybuk took him over." He paused and smiled at his wife before continuing.
"Other people in the village would see how this new ambition had changed his personality and mumble, 'A dybuk must've gotten to him.' Sometimes the victim would die before finishing the work, and the dybuk would seek out the next person to continue the task."
"Oh," said his wife, who was satisfied that the man in her life was finding something to hang onto. "So at least one culture thought that a man with too much ambition was possessed by an evil spirit."
"Yes." He hadn't thought of it that way, though.
And after she was gone, he (who some call Apostic) stared into space
for a while and began to strum his lips with his finger. "Dybu-dybu-dybu-dybu-dybu-dybu-dybu…."
The Plot
If I Only Had a BrainWe open with a shot of a mountain and a single, slowly descending light (which looks a bit like star). Run credits while the point of light gradually floats down to the mountain. As soon as it lands (and the credits end), there's an explosion. (And so it came to pass that the movie opened with a bang.)
Fade to Steve (John Agar) in a small laboratory fiddling with some electronic equipment. He's getting some readings that don't make any sense, and he comments about this peculiarity out loud. His associate, Dan (Robert Fuller), is too busy reading a pulp entitled Science Fiction to be concerned. Steve explains that the Geiger counter has been going off all morning. Dan reminds him that radioactivity is a constant thing. Suddenly, the Geiger counter starts clicking in a burst.
Steve and Dan try to reason it out. They discard several possibilities, including radon, a plane with an atomic warhead, and cosmic energy. Steve discounts that last possibility by explaining that its source is Mystery Mountain. (Amazing. As presented, Steve has not only triangulated the source to a single location several miles away, but he has also managed to do so from a single location.)
Enter the ubiquitous movie scientist's trophy fiancée Sally (Joyce Meadows). They talk about Mystery Mountain thing, which Dan says hasn't seen a human soul since 1900. And it's only thirty miles away. (We'd nit-pick about the close proximity of such wild territories, but let's be honest; parts of our homes haven't seen a human soul in a long time, too. Take, for example, the underside of a bed.) The clicking goes off again. Steve says it's at one milliroentgen and starts working out the inverse square law to calculate the intensity at the source. (As I remember my Civil Defense lore, 600 roentgens is a lethal dose.) Steve wants to head out there immediately, but Sally won't let them go until they eat.
Fade to a shot of a barbecue grill. Sally asks them what they expect to find out there. Sally's father, John Fallon (Thomas Browne Henry), enters. Steve explains to him about the Mystery Mountain thing. Fallon reminds them that it's not pleasant out there (a whole thirty miles away). When he asks them about the radiation, Dan says between the sun and the bursts of radiation, they're likely to get fried.
Fade to Steve and Dan moving along in a jeep. Steve is wearing a fashionable (?) pith helmet for protection from the sun. (Frankly, if I were going into an area with potentially intense bursts of radiation, I'd consider a less fashionable lead body suit. At the very least, a set of lead skivvies.) They stop at the end of the road near their destination and grab their gear. Dan picks up the scientific equipment, and Steve grabs a rifle. (A rifle? They're walking into an area hotter than ten-year-old kimchi, and they expect to encounter something that's still running around and needs to be shot?) Dan takes a pull off his canteen and sets it down while Steve scopes out the area with a pair of binoculars. He sees a pile of rocks that wasn't there last winter. (That's odd; didn't Dan say the place hasn't seen a soul since 1900?)
They head down the hill to the cave, Dan carrying the rifle and Steve carrying a funky sensor that looks like a high tech blow dryer. (For any science junkies that may be reading this, the device in question is a scintillometer. If you are curious, you can find a description of this device here. Although this is a useful device for this trip, we suspect it was selected for its stage presence instead of its scientific value.) They arrive, hot and sweaty, at the entrance of the cave. Steve concludes that it was blasted out recently. He also notes the absence of footprints. They go inside, but Dan hedges on the potential for discovery by suggesting they will only find some beer cans. (Sure, if those cans were left behind by levitating college students with high explosives; I shared an apartment with such a group, but that's another story.)
They walk through a tunnel while shining their flashlights around, but they hit a dead end. Suddenly, their Geiger counter pegs the scale. (And these guys plan on having kids later?) They walk back, into the direction of the source. (See previous note. By the way, someone correct me if I'm wrong, but a Geiger counter is not a really a directional device.)
They stop, and the Geiger counter stops, too. In a side chamber, they see a flash of light. They go to the entrance. Steve draws a semiautomatic pistol and shouts, "Hello in there. We're friends, come on out." No one answers. (Perhaps their announcement would seem more sincere if they weren't porting arms.) They chamber their weapons and go into the room. After they enter, a mist falls behind them.
It's another dead end. The Geiger counter starts clicking again.
They decide to leave, but then they see a giant, semi-transparent floating
brain with glowing eyes. It blocks their way out. They try
to figure out how to get past it. Steve advances, firing his semiautomatic.
This doesn't seem to have the desired effect; Steve falls, clutching own
throat. Dan tries with his rifle. A bright light flashes him
and he falls. The superimposed brain (hereafter referred to as a Suped-Up Brain™) drops onto Steve.
The Right Brain/Left Brain ProblemFade to the Fallon house. Sally answers a phone call from her father. Steve and Dan have been gone for a week, and she's wondering where they are. After the call, she sees Steve peeking through window. She gives him a big passionate hug. He says they didn't find anything. Then he gives her the kind of kiss that could double as a tonsil probe. She asks him (after that kiss, of course – she's not a ventriloquist) where Dan is. Steve backs off. (After a kiss like that and she's thinking about another guy? Not a good sign.) He tells her that Dan went to Las Vegas. Sally remarks about the difference in Steve. He says he's no different, and then he flinches with pain.
Sally tries to get the truth out of him. Steve denies that there's anything wrong with him; the pain was a tooth. She tells him that he's acting funny, and he kisses differently, too. (Could be from the bad tooth.) At this last observation, he turns up the romance by darn near raping her. That's "darn near" as in (1) it's not gonna happen in this movie, and (2) the Fallon family's dog, a big white German shepherd named George, registers his concern by attacking Steve. The ravaging researcher fights off the percolated pooch, punctuating his defense by kicking the dog. (Many audience members may find Steve's action against the dog to be more reprehensible than trying to rape his fiancée. This is not because they wouldn't think rape is horrible. You can wipe out an entire army in a movie, but just let one dog or horse get hurt….) Sally catches her breath and tells Steve he's been working too hard; he should see a doctor. He continues to deny there's anything wrong with him and leaves.
Later, Steve is relaxing at his place. The Suped-Up Brain™ comes out of him. Steve sees it and asks it who it is. It says his name is Gor (voice of Dale Tate). (Gor, like many supernatural beings, speaks like he's in an echo chamber, but he has a reverb that sounds like someone beating a chain link.) He needs Steve's body as a dwelling place. Why Steve? He's a respected nuclear scientist and he can go places. And that Sally dame is a perk, too. (How can a thing that's evolved to all brain still be thinking with the wrong head?) Steve gets defensive about Sally. He throws a knickknack at it, but since this is a Suped-Up Brain™, Steve doesn't score a hit against the immaterial intellect. Gor turns up the telepathic dominance thing by awarding Steve some pain. The aggressive alien tells Steve there is no escape.
Elsewhere, Dr. Fallon comes home. Sally, who has changed to a less damaged dress, tries to tell him about Steve's behavior. (She omits the researcher's randiness; don't know what part of the country the Fallon's are from, but if it was my old neighborhood, that sort of thing moves up a wedding date by force of arms.) Fallon says he'll talk to Dan. Sally tells him about Dan's absence and she's become more suspicious about that, too. Oblivious to the depth of his daughter's concerns, he agrees to visit Steve and talk to him.
Fallon arrives at lab. He asks Steve a few innocent questions, but he turns up the level of concern in the conversation. He explains this concern by saying, "I know Sally pretty well by this time." (Psst, Fallon. If you really knew what was on your daughter's mind, you'd have this guy's throat under your foot by now.) Steve has an acute attack. He leans on a water cooler and presses his face onto the bottle, which distorts the image of his face. He asks Fallon to leave, but the future father-in-law offers to make an doctor's appointment for Steve. Steve brings face up from behind the water cooler, and the audience can see that his eyes have become mystical (if mystical means wearing silver contacts). He shouts at Fallon to mind his own business and leave.
Later, Fallon and Sally are having dinner. (He's also wearing one of the damn ugliest sport shirts I've ever seen.) Sally is concerned, but Fallon maintains that he is not going to pry into another man's affairs. (Yeah, sure. And what he doesn't know about Sally's recent experience won't hurt Steve, either.) Sally won't let it drop, and she's still very suspicious about the absence of Dan. She says she thinks something happened at Mystery Mountain, and she talks him into going there with her. (Don't know what Fallon does for a living, but he seems to have time for this.)
In the next scene, Fallon and Sally arrive near Mystery Mountain in their station wagon. (Obviously, station wagons were built to higher specifications than they are now; the modern equivalent would be rolling on a broken axle while shooting up a geyser.) They find Dan's canteen and know they're in the right area. They start following the footprints.
Fade to their exhausted arrival at the cave. Sally says, "Must be 120 out here." (Some drill instructors at Paris Island will Scotch Guard their uniforms so it won't look like they're sweating. Sally and Fallon must've gone through several cans of the stuff, because they haven't got a hint of dampness on their clothes.) As they look at the cave, Sally says that she's been out with here with Steve before, and the cave wasn't there. (For a place that hasn't seen a soul since 1900, this place gets a lot of traffic.) Through some arcane ability, Fallon divines that this cave was blasted out within the last two weeks.
Fallon sees the footprints leading into the cave, and they follow them. While Fallon is investigating another part of the cave, Sally sees a flash of light and freaks. Fallon tries to get her to leave, but she's going to see this through. They continue. She finds the high tech blow dryer thingie and comments that they wouldn't have left that behind. Fallon shines his light on something and quickly turns it off. Sally tells him that he can turn the light back on; she saw it. They've found Dan. He was burned to death. ("Burned to death" is presented in this movie as having some wrinkled skin, but the clothes and hair are intact.)
Suddenly a Suped-Up Brain™ shows up. In a gentle voice, it introduces
self as Vol (voice of Dale Tate again). He was sent by his leader
to get Gor. (Fortunately, the extradition laws are not pondered.)
After some conversation, Vol tells them Gor has taken over Steve's body.
Vol politely excuses himself, and tells them he'll meet them later, at
an appointed time, at their home. (Note: Don't mess with Suped-Up
Brains™; they know where you live.)
The Reigning Brain Falls Mainly on a PlaneLater, Steve is on the phone talking to a Colonel Frogley about a scheduled test at nearby Indian Springs. He says he wants to be there as an observer, and he gets the come-ahead. After he hangs up and has a seizure, Gor floats out of Steve. The insidious intellect chuckles that he has a surprise for them. Steve starts throwing stuff at Gor. (Apparently he didn't learn from before.) The malevolent mind calls him Steve a savage, and then launches into some egomaniacal elocution.
At the Fallon place, Sally and Dr. Fallon are waiting for Vol, who arrives punctually. George sees this Suped-Up Brain™, but like most dogs in the moves, he can sense good, uh, people; he stays calm. Vol tenderly tells them they can help save the Earth. He even throws in a "Yes. The whole Earth." (Can you say "Earth"? Sure you can.) He explains that Gor wants to take over. They discuss what to do about Gor. Vol needs a host to keep an eye on the cranial criminal. Both Sally and Fallon volunteer, but Vol tells them they need someone who won't be suspected. Sally suggests George. Vol supers into George, who calmly lies down after the experience.
Over at Steve's, Gor is transparently floating around again. Steve asks Gor what they're going to do tonight. Gor tells him the same thing they do every night. Try to take over the…no, just kidding. The giddy Gor giggles a bit and tells Steve he's going to take Sally for a ride. Then he supers into Steve, who suddenly acts like he's, uh, well, let's just say it looked like a glandular experience.
On the way to the Fallons', Steve stops his car and gets out.
He looks up at the sky with mirrored eyes. An airplane passes
overhead. It breaks apart.
At chez Fallon, the fretful father expresses some concern about the safety of his daughter to the free-floating Vol. He asks the good-willed ganglia grouping how long this must go on. Vol says it must go on until they can catch Gor outside Steve's body and assures them that he is more powerful than Gor. (The next question should be, "If you're so tough, why doncha take him down yourself." Unfortunately, no one bothers to ask.) Steve drives up. Vol tells them to do nothing to make him suspicious, but Sally's afraid of Steve like this. Vol supers into George.
Steve enters, casually saying hi to Sally while playing friendly with George. Fallon makes conversation about Dan's decision to visit the fleshpots. Steve apologizes to Fallon for his earlier behavior – to Fallon. (We don't think Sally has said anything yet about the near rape.) Steve and Sal go, and George wants to go too. They take him along.
While they're out driving, Steve stops the car at a scenic overlook to "admire the view." (We presume that with Gor pulling the strings, the "out of gas" excuse it too primitive.) Steve offers her the world, and then gives her a hungry kiss. She protests (about the kiss) and gets out of the car. Steve walks over to her and asks if she can see the difference in him, because there's been a positive change in his life. (If she didn't know about Gor, Sally might've suspected that Steve's been to an EST seminar.)
Steve tells her that he's going to a bomb test, where he'll announce a new discovery. Sally becomes frightened while her bewitched beau begins to rant about power and ambition. (I was under the impression that girls liked a sense of motivation in a man; I can see I was mistaken.) Steve turns on the caveman Casanova charm again and grabs Sally. (Yif! They should've called this The Brain from Planet Aroused.) George growls. She gets back into car (via a jump cut). Steve apologizes and tells her to not worry. They turn on the radio, which has a Relevant Plot Info Sensor™. (I remain indebted to Jason MacIsaac, who gave this abominable exposition device a name in his analysis of Wheels of Terror (1990).) It's playing a news bulletin about the crash of the exploding plane. Sally notes that it's only twenty miles away. She wants go help.
They arrive at the crash site. Some community spirited extras are bringing in the bodies on stretchers. Steve and Sally run into Colonel Frogley (Henry Travis). The colonel draws Steve's attention to one of the bodies, but before pulling back the sheet, he politely tells Sally not to look. (Actually, he patronizingly tells her this, but this is the '50's) He uncovers the body. It's been flash burned.
A professor named Dale Tate (Dale Tate – you wanna make something outta it?) is checking over some of wreckage. He says it looks like a radiation flash burn, but there's no residual radiation. Steve tells Sally it was caused by a power outside of this world. Sally asks why would it do a thing like that? He says as a demonstration.
Steve drops Sally at home. As soon as she's through the door of the house, she breaks. She cries to her father about the people on the plane being burned like Dan. Vol makes a (semi-) appearance and finally gets around to telling them the rules of engagement. Gor can't be harmed when he's inside Steve or in his transitory (Suped-Up Brain™) state. Vol says in his true state, Gor's vulnerable at a spot "your surgeons call the fissure of Rolando." (Nowadays, it's merely called the central fissure. Figure the odds that other beings would evolve into recognizable brains and raise your bets against them having the same structural anatomy.) They have to go to their true state once every twenty-four hours to assimilate oxygen. They ask if they can tell Steve about this, but Vol tells them that would be dangerous.
The next day, Sheriff Wiley Pane (Tim Graham) shows up at Steve's.
He wants to know about Dan. The body was found at Mystery Mountain.
(Cripes, with all the traffic that isolated, God forsaken place gets, a
Starbuck's would really clean up.) Steve maintains the Las Vegas
story. Pane tells him that the autopsy concluded that Dan was dead
for a long time, and the body was burned to a cinder (we're going to have
to work on our standards of "burned to a cinder.") like the bodies in the
plane (ditto). Then Pane starts kicking up the motives, listing the
girl as one, and tells Steve he's in trouble. Steve tells the sheriff
he's the one in trouble, and looks at him with pinball eyes. After
a flash of light, the sheriff goes down. (And we're singing, "If
looks could kill, they probably will….") Steve carries the body off
the set.
Mind BlowingFade to an important government building. (You can tell it's an important government building by the fanfare in the musical cue.) Inside, military types lead by General Brown (E. Leslie Thomas), are looking over the reports of unusual activity near Indian Springs. Professor Tate tells them about the nature of the damage. They figure they have been invaded (and they know it ain't the Soviets) and discuss how this might affect the bomb test at Indian Springs. A stage-frightened extra brings in a message about Dan. "Death by intense radiation, same as the plane." The brass and suits leave for the test site and resolve to be ready for problems.
Steve arrives at the Fallon place. Sally puts on a brave front while he explains that George was at his place and he's there to bring him back. When asked about the upcoming bomb test, he tells her that he's looking forward to it. And then he lapses into his megalomaniacal mumbling. Fallon (who is wearing that damn ugly sport shirt again) asks what he's going to show them. Steve won't say, but he hints that it will make an impression like the bombing of Hiroshima. After dinner, they make small talk about washing the dishes.
Fallon leaves (hopefully to go burn that shirt), and Steve starts putting the ambitious moves on Sally again. (Hard to tell which is tougher for Sally to take. Is it the lack of humility or the lack of restraint?) She tries to cut through the barrage of bragging to find out what he's up to, but no luck. He tries the moves on her again, but no luck there, either. (For a Suped-Up Brain™ that considers himself darn near omnipotent, he takes that rebuffing thing well. Perhaps he thrives on failure.) Steve leaves in his car. George runs after it.
The next day at Indian Springs, Steve talks to the Colonel Howell and General Brown. The two brass types explain to him that the meeting is Top Secret and his presence is not required. Steve counters by telling them that he knows what's been causing the burn deaths. The general decides to give him two minutes. They go into a conference room with other brass and suits.
Steve starts his presentation. As a visual aid, he directs their
attention to a closed circuit monitor, which is showing edited footage
of a set up for an atomic test. Steve looks out the window and does
the mirrored eye trick. There's a flash of light and the monitor
starts showing detonation and damage footage from an atomic bomb test.
The conference room shakes hard while dust falls from ceiling. Someone
on the PA system announces that was not the planned explosion. Steve
tells them that he did that, and from now on, he'll be calling the shots.
Someone else improvises his own shots by pumping a clip from semiautomatic
handgun at Steve, but the possessed physicist shows him that an M19111A1
is no match for mirrored contacts; the bullets don't hit him, and he severely
singes the surprised shooter.
Steve tells them he wants to meet with authorized delegates from a list of nations, which he specifies. Those who do not have representatives at the meeting will suddenly have no capital city, and he concludes his presentation with maniacal laughter. The brass and suits run out of the room and start making phone calls.
Later, Steve visits with Sally. He's relaxing in a lawn hammock while entertaining her with his power talk. (For some strange reason, there don't seem to be several ready snipers waiting for a signal to start shooting.) She suggests he should take a nap and promises to wake him. While he's asleep, she pegs his head to the ground with a tent stake. No, wait; wrong story about a sleepy invader. Vol tells her that Gor has not had time to do his true form trick, so the belligerent brain will be vulnerable soon. Sally pulls out an encyclopedia and opens it to a simplified drawing of a brain; the fissure of Rolando is the only clearly marked feature.
Sally wakes Steve and hustles him off to his meeting. He gets in his car, and George jumps in too. Steve makes him get out. (Apparently, his world domination meetings have a "No Dogs Allowed" policy.)
Later, Steve and all the representatives meet. USSR (Bill Giorgio) arrives at the last minute, and Steve makes a snide remark to the nearly delinquent delegate. Then he lays out the heavy threats, and General Brown backs him up. Some of them are still skeptical, so Steve decides to draw them a picture. He tells them to go to the window. They see an airplane in sky (which is wiggling on some strings). He hits it with a glance from his mirrored contacts and it pops apart (and sort of dangles on one string).
The meeting resumes. Steve wants all means of production and all radioactive materials. The representatives protest. He ignores it, and adds the UN building (which will be his new office space) to his list of requirements. After making these demands, he reveals his ultimate goal; he's going to build a space fleet and invade the brain planet of Arous. (This would be the logical extreme of a coup d'etat.) Maniacal laughter follows.
Back at Steve's place, Sally has arrived with the encyclopedia. She opens it to the illustration of the brain and marks the target zone with the caption "Gor's Achilles' Heel." (Yeesh, what a mixed metaphor!) She rips the page out of the book and carefully places it on a table where it will not be immediately conspicuous. Outside, a car arrives. Sally runs to hide. So far, her plan is working flawlessly. However, as she backs into her hiding place, she doesn't see (or smell) the blistered body of Sheriff Pane.
Steve comes in and lies down on the couch. Gor floats out of his body and becomes opaque. The boastful brain tells Steve (again) what a sweet deal this is. Steve notices the helpful diagram that Sally has left for him. (Somehow, the page has reattached itself to the rest of the book.) Then he looks at an axe.
Unfortunately, Sally has chosen this moment to notice Pane. She
screams, and Gor floats toward her. (Technically, "float" isn't the
right word. Not only is Gor opaque in his natural state, but his
strings are visible, too.) Steve grabs the axe and uses it to formally
break his partnership with Gor. (For a scene that shows a man whacking
a giant brain with an axe, this is not very [brace for it] Gor-y.
Also, note that Gor has no clearly definable fissure of Rolando.
Well, not until after the axe attack.)
George has been watching through the window. Exit Vol, stage left. (And good riddance. He's someone who's supposed to be the good guy that's more powerful than his adversary, but he had weaker beings do his dirty work. And he callously allowed a lot of said weaker beings die, too.)
Steve asks how she knew. She tells about Vol and George and calls
George in. She tells the dumb doggie to talk to Steve. Steve
laughs at the frustrated girl's imagination. (Cripes, they got rid
of Gor, but Steve's still a jerk. Maybe some long overdue snipers
will tag him through the window.) The End.
The Good Stuff
Science!To this movie's credit, there are several technical terms and gadgets related to measuring radiation, and these are (mostly) used convincingly here. A lot of this is probably thanks to J.L. Cassingham. He was a technical advisor on this and several other movies and TV shows that featured radiation as a menace.
Furthermore, this movie didn't perpetuate the myth that all scientists work in luxurious super-labs with multimillion-dollar budgets and strange gadgets that make funny noises while shooting arcs and sparks. The scientists in this movie are closer to the practical engineering side of research, working in a modest lab in the middle of nowhere.
Also, note the poster of a periodic table in the background of Steve's lab. They've already put some things in front of it, possibly because they don't refer to it as much as they thought they would. It's refreshing to see scientists in a credible environment, and it makes it easier to identify with them.
They also do something that resembles a scientific method. When
the abnormality is first discovered, they brainstorm some quick hypotheses
and disprove them. When Steve takes a reading on the radiation at
his lab, he makes a quick estimate using the inverse square law to figure
the intensity at the source.
A Picture is Worth a Good CinematographerThe cinematography on this movie is very good, with attention to lighting and a crisp focus on individual scenes. Night scenes are convincing, and although the cave set is not very credible (caves don't usually have flat floors, and artificial caves in the desert are not usually misty), the filmed scenes in the cave are technically good.
Some things, like the mirrored eyes and the "face in the water fountain," are creative. They may be subject to a sense of goofiness by today's standards, but at least they are creative. However, the actual compositions of the shots are not inspired, and the most scenes are static with very little use of camera movement and zooms; camera movements seem to be reserved for the Suped-Up Brain™ effect, which looks remarkably tacky.
But there's a drawback to having technically good shots in a movie of this nature. When Gor takes on his natural state at the climax, it's too obvious that this strange creature is just a "thing on a sting" (or, less charitably, a dope on a rope).
(There is a valid reason why the cinematography needed to be good on
this feature. See the notes below about Jacques R. Marquette, under
Notes on the Cast and Crew, for the answer.)
The Bad Stuff
Brain DeadThis movie violates what has become conventional wisdom in creature features: Never show the monster too early. If you leave the monster to the imagination, it's creepier. Even if you reveal a little of the monster, you're leaving something for the audience to imagine. When you've got a cheap looking monster, letting the audience fill in the gaps is more effective than showing them what you really have (or have not).
It's not long into this movie that we see Gor, and although it's a surreal image, it's not going to frighten us after we've seen it. (Modern audiences will not be frightened at all, but let's give this the benefit of the doubt for when it was made.) Since we see a lot of Gor and Vol, they quickly become passe. What's worse is that the monster puppets are not what you'd call animated; for example, there's no eye movement. Giving these creatures some type of, well, facial movement would've been a big help. (Cf. the critters Paul Blaisdale built. Some of them are down right laughable as presented on screen, but at least they had some articulated features.)
The only things left to build the suspense are Gor's evil ambitions
and his abilities. Those ambitions quickly become tiresome because
Gor's a Johnny One-Note when it comes to expressing himself. His
ability to destroy large areas is revealed a little bit at a time; however,
his threat to wipe out an entire country lays it on too thick for the sake
of credibility. When a being is this powerful, you have to ask why
it has to rely on an insider to use as a human host.
When Aliens Need to Take Cold ShowersThis movie follows a convention seen in various other horror and sci-fi movies. We get something decidedly non-human developing a thing for the lead female. (The use and abuse of this theme is discussed in the review for Humanoids from the Deep.)
However, we can make an allowance in the movie for this odd motivation. For one thing, Gor experiences things through Steve, and since Steve has feelings for Sally, Gor probably picked up on them. Therefore, it's not so much that a (pardon this) giant gland has got the hots for the girl; it's possible that Gor is following through on Steve's sense of desire. The script touches on this a little, when Steve protests Gor's interest in Sally, and when Gor comments that this is something his species has long forgotten, but it doesn't go as deep as it could have. For example, they could've used this arrangement to say something about the difference between love and lust and how people tend to confuse the two.
Another possible explanation is that Gor is not only a callous, sadistic
megalomaniac, he's also got a taste for bestiality. 'Nuff said.
A Woman's Place is in the PunchlineUsually when we see women in movies like this, they're helpless creatures who that don't understand all that "science stuff" and only exist to be threatened by the monster and rescued by the hero. To this movie's credit, Sally has some interest in Steve's work (she knows what a scintillometer is) and her actions save the day. However, it's a serious let down when she becomes the butt of the denouement's parting gag when she tries to make George say something. (See also the sense of irony at the end of the movie Fuzz (1972) "We saved the city." "Yeah. And no one will ever know….")
The Who Cares Stuff
Notes on the Cast and CrewNathan Juran (director) was an architect who crossed over into movies and became a successful art director. In the '50's, he started directing B westerns and crime dramas. It wasn't long until he also did features that relied on special effects, and some of them were better than others were. During the late '50's, he directed several in close order, including The Deadly Mantis (1957), 20 Million Miles to Earth (1957), The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958), and (under a pseudonym) the Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958). In 1999, the Academy of Science Fiction, Horror, and Fantasy Films presented him with a Life Career Award.
By the time he got to this one, Ray Buffum (writer) was mostly selling scripts with "youth appeal," like Teen-Age Crime Wave (1955) and Teenage Monster (1957).
A regular associate of Buffum was Jacques R. Marquette (executive producer and cinematographer). Marquette started out in the business at the bottom and worked his way up to camera operator. It has been speculated that he started his own short-lived B company (Marquette Productions) so he could move up to cinematographer. It would be difficult to counter this notion, since he tended to hire himself for the job. If this was the case, the gambit worked. For the next thirty years, he had steady work as a cinematographer.
Dale Tate was an associate producer for Marquette. Oh, yeah, and he also did the voices of Gor, Vol, and the equally imaginatively named Dale Tate.
If you know for bad movies, you know John Agar (Steve). It's not that he was a bad actor, because he was usually at least competent. Shoot, sometimes he was pretty good. It's just that he appeared in so many B movies. He first became famous as Mr. Shirley Temple in 1945. Four years later and it was "good/bad news" for Agar. The good news was that began to appear in several John Wayne movies like She Wore a Yellow Ribbon and The Sands of Iwo Jima. The bad news was his divorce, followed by his inability to land good parts in good movies.
Throughout the 50's, he appeared in several westerns, but he's more likely to be remembered for the monster movies he did for Universal. He dropped out of the studio system and did several B westerns and creature features. He probably hit bottom for a working actor by appearing in several Larry Buchannan Z movies in the '60's. However, he has picked up some cult status. B Movie King? You decide.
Joyce Meadows (Sally) appeared in several westerns, both in movies and on TV.
People who remember TV from the '70's are more likely to remember Robert Fuller (Dan) as Dr. Kelly Brackett in Emergency (1972 - 1977). He started appearing in films while working for Marquette, and appeared in several TV westerns throughout the '60's. For those who are curious about how this actor felt about working for Marquette, there's an interview at the Astounding B-Monster website.
Walter Greene (composer) wrote the music for several B features.
However, his musical cues for the Pink Panther series of cartoons are probably
his most recognizable works.
Roots, Shoots, and Other ComparesNot all the Best Brains are in Minnesota. There are various other movies where disembodied brains called the shots, plus a couple of other works that have the eye/brain motif.
Donovan's Brain by Curt Siodmak (1942) – Strong willed, disembodied brain develops a telepathic link with a patsy. Made into several movies, including The Lady and the Monster (1944), Donovan's Brain (1953), and Ein Toter sucht seinen Mörder (1962, a.k.a. A Dead Man Seeks His Murderer, The Brain (USA), Vengence (UK)) See also the roots and shoots for Frankenhooker for a brief history of the brain transplant theme.
Fiend Without a Face (1957) – Critters that look like brains with antennae go on a rampage.
The Space Children (1958) – Alien space brain takes over the children of rocket scientists. (See also the roots and shoots for Beast with a Million Eyes for other examples of alien head games of the '50's.)
Journey to the Seventh Planet (1962) – John Agar vs. another brain. This time, the cranial critter is haunting a planet by making nightmares come true.
The Evil Brain from Outer Space (1964) – Japanese superhero Starman (a.k.a. Super Giant) takes on an evil race ruled by the brain of a dead mastermind.
Star Trek (1966 - 1969) – Two episodes are worth noting here. In "The Gamesters of Triskelion," the unseen backers of some gladiatorial games are revealed to be three disembodied brains. Elsewhere, some people desiring a climate control system in "Spock's Brain" burgle the first officer's central nervous system.
A Gift from Earth by Larry Niven (1968) – Follows the idea that the eyes are extensions of the brain (as opposed to truly separate organs) by introducing a character with an unusual ability. He can telepathically force the irises of others to constrict the pupils. It may not sound like much of a talent, but it causes others to ignore him, which is a useful ability during an armed rebellion….
Brain Damage (1987) – Brain-like parasite has a taste for gray matter. (This is the easy part to explain.)
The Brain (1988) – Giant brain with telepathic abilities goes on a feeding frenzy. (After it devours a slow moving scientist, a surprised character drolly comments, "That's food for thought…")
RoboCop 2 (1990) – Another example of the eye/brain motif. After the death of his body, the bad guy's brain, along with his still connected eyes, are pulled from his body. It continues to sense its whereabouts.
La Cité des enfants perdus (1995, a.k.a. The City of Lost Children) – It squeezes in so many elements from so many other stories, but would it be complete without Irvin, the talking brain?
Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988 - 1999) – Sure, the production company was called Best Brains, but they put their gray matter where there mouths were with the introduction of brain-in-the-bowl Observers in 1997. ("That's thought for food….")
See also The Astounding B Monster's "Lobe
Budget Cinema" list.
Can't We All Just…Get Along? Every now and again, aliens try to work out their differences on modern day Earth (mdE). For the sake of brevity, the following list does not include troublemakers from alternate realities (as in Masters of the Universe (1987)) or grudge holders from the future (as in The Terminator (1984) and all its rip-offs).
The Love War (1970) – Two small teams of aliens, who are disguised as humans, shoot it out in a covert series of firefights on mdE. The winning side gets the Earth.
Critters (1986) – Evil aliens get loose on mdE, and then the alien bounty hunters show up. Followed by various sequels.
The Hidden (1987) – Alien criminal possesses the bodies of humans and goes on a crime spree on mdE. And then the "good guy" alien shows up. Followed by a sequel (of sorts).
Something is Out There (1988) – TV series about an alien law enforcement type that chases around escaped alien criminals on mdE,
Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1991) – Alien policeman tracks down an alien super-criminal with a universe-beating master plan on mdE. (This one is more properly a Terminator rip-off, but the basic tenants of "cops-and-robbers" are in effect here.)
Galaxis (1995) – A lot like Abraxas.
"I Will...."Like many alien mind control stories of the '50's, this one resembles a tale of supernatural possession. That is to be expected, since many sci-fi stories were fantasies with a change of scenery and gadgets. However, one important difference between this movie and most others is that it also doesn't double as a Cold War allegory. Gor does not represent his race, and even the Soviet Union is in trouble. No, this one took went in a more diabolic direction. Although there are some similarities to the dybuk (as described in the introductory notes), this story has a stronger resemblance to the popular interpretation Lucifer.
For those who are not familiar with this, I'll explain. In the
book of Isaiah (uh, that would be in the Bible), the prophet describes
the pride and fall of Lucifer:
How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, you who weakened the nations! For you have said in your heart, "I will ascend into heaven. I will exalt my throne above the stars of God. I will also sit on the mount of the congregation on the farthest sides of the north. I will ascend above the heights of the clouds. I will be like the Most High." Yet, you shall be brought down to Sheol [in many translations, hell], to the lowest depths of the pit.
On the other hand, the popular explanation is that Lucifer was a supernatural being that was kicked out of Heaven for subordination. This is often supported with other passages referring to rebellion against God, and asserts that Lucifer's shortcoming was pride. (Pride usually has negative connotations in the Bible.) Along with these cross-references, it has also been construed that Lucifer became Satan (or the Devil, depending on how you select the words; this is another matter of contention).
Since this latter interpretation is the one most people are familiar with, consider it as the supernatural theme for the story of this movie. The evil Gor leaves his homeworld of Arous because he is sociopathicly proud. He diabolically possesses someone to act as his instrument. His short term goal is enslavement of the Earth, but his ultimate goal is revolt against Arous. The relatively angelic Vol is sent to stop him.
It's not as solid as one of C. S. Lewis' allegories, and it's not as
satisfying as the miracle working alien messenger that assumes the name
Carpenter and rises from the dead in The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951).
Perhaps if Gor had tempted Steve, or if Steve "sold his volition" to Gor….
The Bottom LineAn evil space brain possesses a scientist, but a good space brain comes to the rescue (sort of). Well shot but poorly framed story. Played more like a story of supernatural possession than many of its Cold War contemporaries. Goofy looking title creature is too tacky to scare anyone, and its early presentation diffuses suspense. Agar's maniacal performance as the possessed scientist might've worked in a more competent production, but in this one, it catalyzes the banality. Recommended for fans of ridiculous looking monsters and as proof that showing a monster too early can be a mistake
Published on 6 November 1999


text:
Jenni Lee My wife's hot friend
My Dad s Hot Girlfriend
Breanne My Dad s Hot Girlfriend
Yurizan Beltran My Dad's Hot Girlfriend
My Dad s Hot Girlfriend 8 Scene 1
Savannah Stern in My Dad s Hot Girlfriend
My Dad's Hot Girlfriend - Alanah Rae
Fucking my dad's hot girlfriend in his bed
My dad's girlfriend Jayden
My Jenni Lee collection in 5 minutes
Hot Jenni Lee does deepthroat
Jenni Lee Fuck Club 2 Hot
Jenni Lee hot girl in red dress
Son fucks his dad's hot girlfriend in the kitchen
In his dad's couch fucking his dad's girlfriend
Dad's girlfriend, wants it
Jenni Lee
jenni lee
TrafficHolder.com - Buy and Sell Adult Traffic|Trafficshop.com - Let your business grow|Contact Us|Webmaster
All content, including images, text, graphics, video and audio content contained in the website is protected under the laws of copyright, owned or under license to company or its designees,and represents proprietary and valuable intellectual property.
Contact Webmaster 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement
Powered by Stream Rotator

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Don't worry, Oregon State fans: I'm only temporarily filling in for Senor (or is it Senior?) Buker. It seems he'd rather enjoy Oregon's humidity-free days than spend extra time in State College, Penn. Motto: "Only 26 turns and 13 highways from Pittsburgh!..."
Penn State coach Joe Paterno fielded a question during his weekly media session Tuesday about Oregon State passing for more than 400 yards against Stanford. Paterno said he was anticipating a more balanced attack.
"I don't think that's necessarily their game," he said. "I don't know Mike Riley real well. I know him by reputation and we've been on some Nike trips together and I think he's a really nice person and obviously an outstanding coach. But I don't think I'd go by the fact that they threw the ball as much as they did against Stanford. I think they got behind a little bit, and a couple things happened there.
"But I think we'll be ready. We've got to be ready to handle the running game."
Later, Paterno said he "stayed up until a quarter to one Eastern time on Thursday night to watch the game against Stanford." (Insert 81-year-old coach joke here.) Paterno said he was impressed with the Beavers' receivers and quarterback Lyle Moevao.
"They really beat themselves," Paterno said. "Oregon State beat themselves."
Speaking of age, Paterno was asked what he thought of the fact that linebacker Keith Pankey, son of former Penn State player Irv Pankey, plays for the Beavers. Paterno waxed about what a great player Irv was then said, "I don't know. I must be getting old."


text:
Oregon Attorney General John Kroger released a list of 20 charities today that he says spend too much on telemarketing and administration.
He also announced plans to seek legislation next year to take away tax deductions from charities that spend less than 30 percent of their raised money on their cause. If passed, the legislation would be the first of its kind in the nation, Kroger said.
"This proposal will help kick sham charities out of Oregon," Kroger said. "If the rest of the country follows Oregon's lead, we could end the rampant abuse of non-profit laws."
The Department of Justice requires charities to report how much they spend on their causes and the reports of the more than 16,000 registered charities are available to the public. From that data, the department's Charitable Activities Section created a list 20 groups, including a few of the following, which it says spent more than 75 percent of collected donations on administrative costs and professional fund-raising:
Shiloh International Ministries, which reports that it collects donations to provide medical needs and moral support to needy children and the homeless. The state said that the California-based non-profit's most recent filings show it spent an average of $937,315 per year, or 96.4 percent, on management and fundraising.
Law Enforcement Education Program, which reports it collects donations to help educate teenagers on the effects of alcohol. The state said that Michigan-based non-profit's most recent filings show that it spent 6.26 percent of the $1.9 million average it raised on charitable purposes.
The Korean War Veterans National Museum and Library, which reports it raises money to support veterans. The state said that the Illinois-based group's most recent filings show that it spend spent 97 percent of its annual fund-raising average of $2.3 million on telemarketing and administration.
Ryan Yantis, executive director of the Springfield-based war museum, said he joined the nonprofit in February, a month after a new board was put into place.
"We're working very, very hard at turning things around," Yantis said. "That is a snapshot of the organization in the rearview mirror rather than looking to the future."
It's true that the information is from the past. The most recent financial filing Yantis' group had filed with Oregon's charitable division was from 2008. The nonprofit's filing for 2009 was due in May of this year. The group filed for an extension, which gave Yantis until Nov. 15 to file the records, said Tony Green, a spokesman for attorney general's office.
Yantis, who said the filing has been completed but not yet turned into the state of Oregon, said he's attempting to change the costly direct-mail system his nonprofit has used to request donations.
In addition to the charities database, the state of Oregon's Justice Department offered these tips on charitable giving:
- Before donating, check that the organization is registered with Oregon Attorney General's Office by searching the Department's online database or by calling 971-673-1880. A national clearinghouse of similar information is available at Guidestar.
- Consumers also should watch out for solicitations that thank you for previous support or send invoices claiming you made a recent pledge when you didn't. The state said those tactics are intentionally confusing and dishonest ways to seek donations.
- The department warns against providing donation-seekers with personal information over the phone. Legitimate charities accept checks, which should always be made payable to the organization not the individual collecting the donation.


text:
ALLEN PARK - With Detroit Lions tight end Brandon Pettigrew sitting out of the first preseason game with a sore knee, No. 3 tight end Will Heller saw more playing time early and he enjoyed the action.
The Lions went to two-tight ends three times in the first touchdown drive during Detroit's 34-3 win over the Cincinnati Bengals.
"It was awesome. We were moving the ball and getting in a lot of plays early because of the turnovers,'' Heller said. "We got that early momentum and it's always fun to be competing against somebody other than your own team.''
Heller has a secure role on the team because of his blocking ability, but that doesn't mean he can't catch the ball, too. He's made some big receptions for the Lions, including one against the Redskins two years ago on a key third down that locked away the victory.
Against the Bengals, Heller had three catches for 21 yards.
"You have those games every once in awhile where things are clicking early. When things are hitting on all cylinders, it's fun,'' Heller said.
Now that Pettigrew is back, Heller returns to his normal role, but he's still looking forward to his opportunities to help whenever he can.


text:
March 12, 2013, Newswise
State laws that require minimum levels of fruits and vegetables in school meals may give a small boost to the amount of these foods in adolescents' diets, according to a study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine. This effect was strongest in students who had no access to fruits and vegetables at home.
With the recent requirements from the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) National School Lunch Program to incorporate healthier options in school meals, the researchers wanted to find out if such laws made a difference in student fruit and vegetable consumption. Continue reading


text:
Well, yeah. I remember a number of them, uh, we used to go, they used to ramshackle our lockers, uh, periodically. I'm sure the school board must have spent thousands of dollars just replacing our books. Uh, the uh other thing was that one night we used to well we used to get a lot of phone calls. And uh one night uh a voice said that uh, one of the girls would be uh… shot in the face with uh, acid out of a water pistol. And . That's alright.
CHANGING TO SOUND ROLL THREE, CAMERA ROLL FIVE. 27, AUGUST, EXCUSE ME, 26th AUGUST, CAP CITIES, BLACKSIDE, SOUND ROLL THREE, CAMERA ROLL FIVE
The uh, I guess the, the students uh, were always, we were always getting calls in the middle of the night. And this one time there was a, a call that said uh, one of the girls would be squirted in the face with uh, acid in a water pistol. And uh, that uh, we'd better watch out. So that next morning, walking through the halls, and this was after the, uh, our individual guards before uh, we had individual paratroopers that escorted us from class to class in the hallway. And halfway through the school year they withdrew those, outside of the school and only had the guards stationed uh, outside. Anyway, sure enough, I was walking with Melba Patillo and this kid walks up with a water pistol and squirts her in the face and it turns out it had water. But it was that level of harassment. One of the other things I remember always was in gym… uh, you get into the locker room and the locker room gets steamed up. Uh, there was always incidents of these guys wetting up towels and throwing 'em over where, where we were. Well we got to be a little cagey about that. We would start dressing in one place, move to another so they were always throwing towels over… some other area. It was a low level uh, of harassment and I guess we sort of uh, put away any idea that we were in immediate physical harm, that anybody was going to kill us. That didn't seem likely. Maybe it was just because uh… we were too young and we believed in what we did, or what we were doin'. But never feared uh, anything uh, physically happening to us.


text:
ANN ARBOR -- Michigan's first two full recruiting classes under Brady Hoke seemed to have the best of both worlds.
There was quantity and there was quality.
In 2012, Michigan signed a whopping 25-player class that was ranked No. 4 overall by Scout.com. In 2013, the Wolverines upped both those numbers, netting a 27-man class that ended up No. 2 on Scout's final team rankings list.
But with the heavy numbers of both of those previous classes, and a relatively small level of attrition, Michigan's 2014 group was never going to be overly large.
And so, Michigan's current 16-man class -- ranking No. 25 on Scout's list -- may seem meager on both levels. But in reality, it isn't.
"I think people are going to immediately look at the ranking and look at last year, being No. 2 on our site and top 5 a lot of places and then you look at this year, and they're a bit lower," Scout.com's Midwest Football Recruiting Manager Allen Trieu said this week. "People then immediately say the class isn't as good.
"But (in reality), the class is just smaller. The talent level, per kid, is still just as high."
At the moment, Michigan has one five-star prospect (per Scout), seven four-star players and eight three-star prospects.
And, more importantly, the Wolverines did address more than a few areas of need with this current group.
With the departure of Jeremy Gallon, Drew Dileo, Joe Reynolds and Jeremy Jackson, Michigan had to continue to add to its wide receiver depth again in this class after taking three wideouts a year ago.
It did just that, grabbing four-star receivers Drake Harris (6-foot-3, 175) and Freddy Canteen (6-foot, 170) and three-star wideout Maurice Ways (6-foot-4, 190).
The Wolverines also needed to address the lack of overall athletic ability in their defensive backfield.
They did so with one player.
"They needed help in the defensive backfield, and you don't get any better than (five-star cornerback) Jabrill Peppers," Trieu said. "He was a monster get, and a kid who is going to pay big dividends right away."
But while Michigan was able to address areas of concern at wide receiver, defensive back and defensive tackle (Bryan Mone, 6-foot-4, 316), the Wolverines do appear headed into Signing Day on Wednesday without a running back.
At least at the moment.
Michigan had extended late offers to both four-star back Jeff Jones and three-star back Marlon Mack.
But, at the moment, Jones remains pledged to Minnesota while Mack offered a commitment to Louisville earlier this week.
Moving forward, if Michigan indeed completes the class without a running back, the Wolverines will go into next season with a running back roster breakdown of the following:
Junior Justice Hayes (who may move to slot receiver), sophomores Derrick Green, De'Veon Smith and Drake Johnson and redshirt freshman Wyatt Shallman -- who translates more as an H-back in Doug Nussmeier's offense.
"There's no running back, and I know they went after a couple of them late," Trieu added. "Seems like they're going to go into the spring with only really three running backs (Green, Smith and Johnson) in the spring.
"I think not getting a running back late maybe one area (of concern). And depending on what Peppers ends up playing and what (defensive back prospect) Brandon Watson ends up playing, they could both end up at corner or safety, the (depth there) seems a little bit low (in this class)."
-- Download the Michigan football on MLive app for iPhone and Android
-- Download the Michigan basketball on MLive app for iPhone and Android
-- Follow Nick Baumgardner on Twitter
-- Like MLive's Michigan Wolverines Facebook


text:
User talk:Feureau
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit Welcome!
Hello, Feureau, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome! -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 17:54, 15 July 2006 (UTC)
edit UnNews:Wikipedia celebrates 1,500,000 articles written by monkeys
Feureau, I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but I have a strong suspicion that English is not your first language. Yes, MSWord doesn't catch anything when you check it, but much of the last half of your article makes no sense. Ask any native English speaker and they'll tell you that they can't understand what the hell the last few paragraphs are talking about. So I'm reverting back to my edit. If you have problems with specific parts of what I added, you're free to remove them with an explanation. Please remember that this is a wiki and that everyone here has a right to edit what you've written (or translated, as the case may be). Esn 03:28, 29 November 2006 (UTC)
Look, calm down and accept that your grammar sucks. Examples:
"most of the pages was reverted" should be "were reverted"
"the consensus made by Wikipedian users aren't always the correct fact" should be "isn't always factual" or something
"Giving an example, the officials shown on the super beautiful extra large screen donated from wikia earlier this year, an article entitled Uncyclopedia: Funny or Stupid in which was vandalized months ago leaving what they call "cryptic" text" I have no idea what the hell this means
"Then, pointing out the consensus among Wikipedian on the article's talk page to leave the "contribution" intact." Who's pointing it out? Also, it should be Wikipedians.
You know, self-confidence is a fine thing and all, but sometimes it's best to admit to yourself that you're not great at something. And lashing out at people who point this out will never get you too many friends (it'll get you a lot of yes-men, though). Esn 05:27, 30 November 2006 (UTC)
edit cogito, ergo difference
Welcome to UnNews, and thank you for contributing some crap. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.
Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and celebrity. Cheers! Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 15:43, 1 December 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for your kind words about zimcasts. I get a warm and slightly uncomfortable sensation just above my groin when such praises are heaped upon me... and I want it to go away. I see you've been slightly dressed down by Esn, or whomever... don't get discouraged, get
even down with your bad self, so to speak stoked. We have a growing number of fine folks who are thrilled to fuck up your articles do a fine job of editing content, and that's in a good way.
|On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you.
Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Allo Feureau. It pleases me that you were not offended by an apathetic agnostic blessing. Funny, when I get stoked, I write more worser.
As for doing the UnNews Audio Perpendicular Mambo, first you'll need software to record sound files on your computer. I currently use Cakewalk Sonar, but many other applications such as the freeware Audacity, or other commercial applications like Steinberg's Cubase and Pro Tools Digital Audio Workstation will be great.
Having that in place, there ar UnNews jingle files you can download, and add to your files here:
- http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_British.mp3
- http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_American.MP3
You'll need to upload your final audio file in mp3 format.
Once uploaded, you'll need to tag the article you've read like this
- {{UnNewsAudio|Your_soundfile_name.mp3}}.
Next, go to this page http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Template:FrontPageMediaMenuBeta, add your file with pointer and file size arranged like this:
- Your_soundfile_name.mp3|article_title|<file size>KB|
The file size information can be found on the info page of the audio which you've uploaded.
The procedure for setting up your file for podcast is a secret freemason thingy which Olipro and I currently manage. I'm around almost daily, do I look for new audio files. If you get hung up with any of these steps, let me know, or alternately check out #unnews and #uncyclopedia on IRC.
I think if you run this search, you'll get most of my audios. I think I've done more than 500 now... that's a frightening thought. Anyway, I am flattered and bewildered by your outpouring of kindness in my general direction. Thanks for you're interest in UnNews and myself.
Best of luck on your flame wars. I'm strapped for time currently, but I'll try to peek in on your
evil activities. Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:34, 2 December 2006 (UTC)
edit Thanks for the vote!
They voted for me. And I didn't even have to bribe them.
Without your vote, surely someone worthy of the award would have actually won. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 01:14, 6 December 2006 (UTC)
edit Thankee
They voted for me. And I didn't even have to bribe them.
Thanks for your continuing participation in the downfall of our once-great democracy. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 03:01, 18 December 2006 (UTC)
edit xMAS
|zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me!
the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!
edit Voting
You can only vote for one person when you vote on "____ of the month". Please change this, or we'll take your first vote. —Braydie at 00:12, 1 February 2007 (UTC)
edit WOTM
Thank you.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 08:49, 1 February 2007 (UTC)
edit My Comrade
18:30, 1 March 2007 (UTC)
edit F@H
| This user has contributed 0
And have a point keepin' userbox as well. 09:05, 23 March 2007 (UTC)
edit thanks!
Paul Bunyan thanks you for supporting him and his fellow bunyanists in the ongoing struggle against the evils of science and reason. Mr. Bunyan salutes you!
much appreciated :) --THE 13:51, 9 June 2007 (UTC)


text: (Married women sizes 0-22 may apply!) I have a confession to make. This week I actually looked up the measurements of some of today's hottest female celebs. When my husband got home, I happily announced to him whose hips and dress size I shared. (Nope, I'm not gonna tell you who!) Oh, I wasn't really Continue »


text:
For both the budding theologian and seasoned scholar, these bundles offer classic works on systematic theologies and Christian doctrine, and cover essential works by Thomas Aquinas, Jonathan Edwards, A.W. Pink, Jacob Arminius, Louis Berkhof, and others. The Logos Theology Bundle is … more
Louis Berkhof (1873–1957) was a Reformed theologian whose works remain highly influential. He taught at at Calvin Theological Seminary from 1906 and served as its president from 1931–1944.
Berkhof's writings, including his Systematic Theology, presented Reformed thought in the tradition of John Calvin, Abraham Kuyper, and Herman Bavinck. Throughout his tenure at Calvin, he stressed the importance of orthodoxy, a focus shown in his works.


text:
The Chicago Bears improved to 6-4 on the season after a 23-20 overtime victory against the Baltimore Ravens Sunday afternoon.
More than five hours after it began, Robbie Gould's 38-yard field goal in overtime helped seal the victory after a lengthy weather delay forced the teams off of the field for nearly two hours.
The Bears are now tied atop the NFC North standings with the Detroit Lions (who hold the tiebreaker) and will square off against the St. Louis Rams this coming Sunday.
Here are my five takeaways from the Bears' 23-20 victory over the Baltimore Ravens.


text:
A 57-year-old Rockaway Township man accused of trying to get a mother to let him have sex with her 12-year-old daughter had his bail cut in half to $75,000 this afternoon.
Defense attorney Peter Gilbreth said Donald Gardner has no criminal record and has lived in Morris County for 20 years. He said the married father of two grown children had been employed until September, when he was laid off.
His former employer, Edison Mortgage Solutions in Edison, contacted the Middlesex County Prosecutor's Office about emails found on Gardner's computer, the arrest affidavit said. In several emails to the girl's mother, Gardner suggested that the mother produce the child for sexual relations with him, the affidavit said. The girl has since turned 13, authorities said.
In February, Gardner described becoming aroused when he hugged the child at their church in Rockaway, the affidavit said. Gardner since switched to a new church, New Beginnings, A Baptist Community, in Wharton, said Robert Dalsing, the pastor of the 65-member congregation.
"We're just here to support him,'' Dalsing set after Gardner's brief court appearance via closed-circuit television from the county jail.
If Gardner posts bail, he can only leave his home with another adult. Superior Court Judge Thomas V. Manahan ordered that he have no contact with children under 16, and only supervised contact with his grandchildren.
Gardner is charged with sexual assault, attempted sexual assault, luring, child endangerment and attempted child endangerment. The girl's mother was charged with child endangerment.


text:
Featured Stories:
In the Blawg Directory:
Explore the ABA Journal:
Posted Sep 21, 2012 05:12 pm CDT
A postal truck driver has been acquitted on charges of leaving the scene of an accident that killed the sister-in-law of Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz.
Ian Clement, 63, was found not guilty by a jury Thursday after less than a day of deliberations, the New York Daily News reports.
"I'm relieved," Clement said after hearing the verdict.
Clement had been charged with the leaving the scene of the July 2011 accident that killed Marilyn Dershowitz, 68. A private practice mediator, she was killed after she fell off her bike on a Manhattan street and was run over by the rear wheel of Clement's truck.
Clement claimed he didn't know he had hit anyone. But prosecutors said he must have known because he stopped his truck about 20 feet away from the spot where Dershowitz had been hit, then drove off. Clement reported the accident to his supervisors a few hours later.
Clement's lawyer, John Arlia, had argued the case would never have been brought but for pressure put on prosecutors by Alan Dershowitz and his brother, Nathan, Marilyn Dershowitz's husband, who is also a lawyer. Prosecutors said the decision to prosecute was based solely on the facts, pointing out that 33 people this year have been charged with the same offense.
Nathan Dershowitz said after the verdict he believed Clement was responsible for his wife's death and should have been charged with a more serious crime.
"I'm sorry I wasn't part of the prosecution team," he said.
US Attorney in Reno Is Refusing ATF Cases; Is Task Force Rift the Reason?
Don't Want Toll Booth Delay? Don't Pay with Big Bills, Says 11th Circuit
We welcome your comments, but please adhere to our comment policy and the ABA Code of Conduct.


text:
Tigers outfielder Johnny Damon has already stated he won't be growing back the beard or thick mane of hair he wore while with the Boston Red Sox. He's keeping it clean-cut, as he did with the New York Yankees. And, that's probably appropriate, given the classically clean, simple look of the Detroit Tigers' uniforms.
But Damon gave a hint toward his mischievous side when he followed up his declaration with a joke that he almost dyed his hair orange. (That was a joke, right?) And, that's promising, because the Tigers (and the Detroit sports scene, in general) could benefit from Damon reliving some of his "Idiot" days.
We need a little goofball around here. The championship Detroit Pistons teams had John Salley and Dennis Rodman as a contrast to the intensity of Isiah Thomas and Bill Laimbeer. When the Detroit Red Wings returned to playoff contention in the late 80s, Shawn Burr was always good for an entertaining postgame quote. Darren McCarty provided a similar presence on the Stanley Cup teams.
Of course, the Tigers have their own history in that regard. Mark "The Bird" Fidrych and his ball-talking, mound-grooming eccentricities. Dave Rozema and Kirk Gibson getting into all sorts of hijinks off the field -- although Rozema once took it a bit too far. Mike Henneman was a happy-go-lucky sort until labor disputes turned him surly.
The current roster has some guys who like to keep it loose, such as Joel Zumaya and Miguel Cabrera. But the Tigers may have been in danger of becoming stale. Offseason moves have added some new faces and youth to the mix. And someone who can keep things light during the daily grind of the season could be equally important.
Or don't you think that a guy formally known for doing naked pull-ups in the clubhouse can liven things up a bit?
People, Nov. 2004: "We got the music going. And I got the guys going with—I have this thing I do—I do naked pull-ups," über-idiot Damon says. "It's that kind of free style that's propelled us to the next level."
Even Carlos Guillen might crack a smile at that.
We're also talking about a guy who once claimed he stayed in shape by racing cars driving through his neighborhood. On foot.
Providence Journal, Feb. 2004: "I live on a street (in the Orlando area) where the speed limit is 25 miles an hour and the police enforce it. At night I'd wait out there and when a car came by I would race the car home, so I think I can go at least 25 miles an hour. I scared some of the people, seeing a caveman racing after cars," said Damon with a laugh.
Maybe he was joking, maybe he wasn't. The point is that he would entertain the media -- and presumably, his teammates -- with such a story.
None of that is going to seem very charming or amusing if Damon bats .250, doesn't get on base, or waves his glove at balls sailing over his head in left field. And fans won't take too kindly to someone yukking it up when the home team is losing. But Damon's career record doesn't indicate those things are likely to happen.
Someone who can win and have fun while doing it should bring some sunshine to what's been a rather cloudy past four months in Detroit sports.
Ian Casselberry provides his unsullied take on the Detroit Tigers every Wednesday for The Cutoff Man. Check out his work at his blog or follow him on Facebook or Twitter: @iancass.


text:
Patrick Kunkee, co-principal of the NSO. I finally begin lessons with him today at 6pm. Very excited.
Just felt like sharing with youse guys.
Patrick Kunkee, co-principal of the NSO. I finally begin lessons with him today at 6pm. Very excited.
Just felt like sharing with youse guys.
Have fun!
Thanks, Manny!
The lesson went extremely well. Went over Psalm of the Turrin piece I plan on doing for Fall recital (BTW, thanks JACKD for showing me this piece!!!).
Mr. Kunkee is an astonding transpositioner. Amazing. Never met anyone who could just name a key, and sight read whatever's on the page LIKE THAT.
I left today finding a whole lot of stuff I've over-looked. Namely transposition. I've focused so much on playing and sound that I've neglected the music, the stuff behind it. I'm very pissed about that, haha.
I am going to be taking with him every other week. I'm trying to find a second teacher, one more geared towards jazz. I'm calling Keith Ellis tomorrow, I think.
Great day!
Awesome Van! Hope you learn something you cna pass on to me next year in lessons!!
Don't use the cane next year...
King Silver Flair 2055S
Getzen 770 SG Gold Series
Bundy Series II cornet
Music is a more potent instrument than any other for education. -Plato
Patrick and Keith are both great players and teachers. If you want to take jazz improv lessons in Nashville, you might want to call Jim Williamson. I'm not sure if he teaches, but he is one he@@ of a jazz player.
"Music is a fire in your belly that has to come out of your mouth, so you'd better put a horn in the way before someone gets hurt"
1949/50 Super Recording
1949 Martin Committee
1947 Olds Super
Olds Super/Ultrasonic trumpet
Olds Recording trumpet
Olds Mendez
Olds L-12
Conn 40B
Eclipse MR scratch gold
Bach 37
Scherzer Picc
Buescher Mdl 15 Cornet in Bb/C/A (Dad's old horn)
Boston 3 Star Ne Plus Ultra
Natural trumpet hand made by my friend Howard Scudder
Mr. Ansberry,
This is awesome that you are from the area I am starting to take lessons!!
Dr. Ellis recently accepted the position of jazz instructor at CU, where I attend. His name was the first one I thought of.
I've heard Mr. Williamson play, I actually have a recording. Rock Williams dropped by our school during our annual jazz fest. Mr. Williamson was one of the judges, and Rock asked him if he would like to play a piece with the group. Mr. Williamson got out his horn (A gold-plated beauty), went in a back room with a practice mute, warmed up, looked over the piece (A completely improv piece), and played it WONDERFULLY 30 minutes later!
Thanks again for reminding me of him! There are a LOT of great players and teachers lurking around the Middle Tennessee area just waiting to have their brains picked. This summer has turned out wonderfully.
BTW, Andrew. I only use the cane when it is needed.
What happened to maybe getting me some lessons with Mr. Suska? Huh? Yeah, forgot about that didn't yeah. Lol jk. So, Patrick Kunkee is co-principal with Mr. Bailey...I didn't know that.
King Silver Flair 2055S
Getzen 770 SG Gold Series
Bundy Series II cornet
Music is a more potent instrument than any other for education. -Plato
You have about as much of a chance of getting in touch with Mr. Suska now as I do! He's always so very, very busy.
Andrew, have you made Mr. Bailey's acquaintance?
Yeah, I have, I just figured it wasn't important. Last year, at that Singing/Music camp I went to. The one at Cumberland. We were there the week that the Nashville Symphony play on the patio of the cafeteria. Before the concert the orchestra members were eating in the back room and when Mr. Bailey came out I introduced myself and told him I was a trumpet player to, I thought he was an awesome trumpet player, etc. You know, the normal butt kissing. So, we talked for may be 5 minutes till he had to go on and till I had to go to class. I seriously doubt it if he remembered even talking to me, the conversation was that brief. But, yes I do "know" him. He was a pretty cool, I determined from about a 5 minute conversation. Though I didn't get any tips, I literally didn't have time to ask, they put on an excellent concert, though I didn't get to hear, but about 3 seconds of it. I was in class. It was the worst torture ever being in class and knowing that some of the greatest musician in the United States were merely a few hundred feet away playing their hearts out and I couldn't go see them (Or even hear them for that matter. Cumberland's walls must be extremely thick.).
Ain't that cool.
King Silver Flair 2055S
Getzen 770 SG Gold Series
Bundy Series II cornet
Music is a more potent instrument than any other for education. -Plato
If you would like, I can PM or email Mr. Kunkee's email. I also have Dr. Armstrong, Associate of the NSO.
I may also be getting Dr. Ellis and POSSIBLY Mr. Stallings or Mr. Williams....
Dangit, I need a C trumpet...
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)


text:
Our research and development work has beneficial applications throughout the world; solving water-related issues from the arid sand dunes of northeastern Africa to the rain drenched tropical forests of the Rio Chagres in Panama.
HRC Flash Flood Program
Program Video
Hydrologic Research Center
The Hydrologic Research Center (HRC) was established in 1993 as a nonprofit research, technology transfer, and training organization. HRC was created to help bridge the large gap existing between scientific research in hydrology and applications for the solution of important societal problems that involve water. With each innovative idea, perspective, assembly of established ideas, or design, HRC seeks to establish the feasibility of our innovations. Many prototype systems and demonstration projects produced by HRC enhance, inspire, or form the basis of successful operational systems that preserve natural resources, further economic interests, and save lives. The Hydrologic Research Center is a public benefit nonprofit organization with 501(c) (3) status in the United States.
HRC Spotlight
HRC's joint initiative for global flash flood guidance is mentioned in the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) 2012 SREX report as a good example for the application of space technology at international scales. See p. 416 of Chapter 7.
San Diego News Channel 10 spotlights HRC and its flash flood early warning technology developments (see embedded video segment as well).
Local newspaper, Carmel Valleys News, spotlights HRC's general manager, Bob Jubach.
Pakistan describes HRC implementation and training at ReliefWeb.Int.
HRC's Global Flash Flood Guidance System described in Ch 5 of COMET's MetEd document "Flash Flood Early Warning System Reference Guide."
Hurricane Sandy
Real-Time Data for Central America
Real-Time Data for Haiti and Dominican Republic
Feature Article: INFORM


text:
SULLIVAN TOWNSHIP, MI – With all the animal amenities of a county fair to the food options of a carnival, the Muskegon County Youth Fair kicked off with a relaxed opening Monday, July 21 at the Muskegon County Fairgrounds.
Thousands of people are expected each day of the 87th annual Muskegon County Youth Fair, which runs July 21-26 in Sullivan Township.
The fair features various animal showcases, animal auctions, fair games and music from Muskegon-based band Yard Sale Underwear as well as various other activities for the county's youth throughout the week.
Scott Erdman, vice president of the Muskegon County Fair Association, said the Youth Fair is as much about showcasing local young people as it is the animals they've spent many hours training.
"It showcases young people and what their projects are, what they're doing, how they're working with their projects," Erdman said. "It's an opportunity for people to come in and see some of the farm life with all of our barns having each animal in them.
"We try to make it as educational as possible and as fun as possible."
More than 400 children from around Muskegon County are registered for the fair to show a variety of animals including horses, swine, sheep, poultry, rabbits and sheep throughout the week.
Ravenna resident Austin Adams, 15, spent time Monday near the swine area training his pig with the goal of auctioning it off at the end of the week.
Adams said although trainers develop emotional connections with their respective animals, each person takes away a valuable experience.
"You've got to train your animal the way to be judged by it," said Adams, who patiently directed his pig around the pen area with a whip before retiring it back into the swine building. "(The judges look for) whether you control the animal or it controls you."
Erdman said the festival costs at least $80,000 to put on each year, but sponsorship by community businesses as well as registration fees for those showing animals help cover the cost. Revenues generated during the festival are directed back into the Muskegon County Fairgrounds and are integral in making improvements to facilities.
These improvements are intended to enhance the experience during the week of festivities, as well as the full slate of activities during the rest of the year, at Muskegon County Fairgrounds.
For Montague residents Brooke Jager, 16, and Katlyn Jager, 10, the Muskegon County Youth Fair is about fun – particularly in visiting the lambs showcased during the week.
"We came to watch the lamb show," Brooke said. "We wanted to kind of look and see how they show the lambs. We'll probably watch the horses also."
For a complete list of events, check out the Muskegon County Fairgrounds website. For a youth fair schedule, view this document.
Dillon Davis is a staff writer at MLive Muskegon Chronicle. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.com and follow him on Facebook and on Twitter.


text:
Remove Ads x
lpfc sr-1 by chalvin - download at 4shared. lpfc sr-1 by chalvin is hosted at free file sharing service 4shared.
| Uploaded via: 4shared site
Share Add to my account
Is owner
View only
Upload & Edit
Members may only view items in this folder.
Members may view, add, edit and delete items in this folder.
Checked by McAfee. No virus detected.
0 comments Add new comment
Wrong code entered. Please, try again.
Enter the code above to post message:
Remove Ads x
Download all files from this folder
Download folder as:
This file will be created in your 4shared folder
File name:
Zip as:
Download as B1
lpfc sr-1 by chalvin.ddsFile QR Code


text:
After an eight-year absence from the Staten Island Men's B Singles Tournament, Sixto Ancheta is coming home.
"I haven't played the (B) tournament, but I have played some tennis," said the soft-spoken Ancheta, who lost the 2001 final to Dan Kuhn in twin tiebreakers.
Ancheta marked his return with another tiebreaker Saturday — this time a win — in downing Peter Acquafredda, 6-0, 7-6 (7-5) in the round of 32 on the indoor courts of the S.I. Community Tennis Center.
Brooklyn Tech junior Will Trang played the only Men's Open match, eliminating Joe Otranto, 6-3, 6-1.
Defending champion Alex Petrone and No. 2 Arthur Velnick, a 2008 titlist, begin play Sunday.
The Women's Open is dotted with high school players, headed by Curtis grad Monique Carlson. Men's Open
Round of 32
Will Trang def. Joe Otranto, 6-3, 6-1.
Men's B
Round of 32
Sixto Ancheta def. Peter Acquafredda, 6-0, 7-6 (5); Ron Speciale won via default over Joe Delsole; Luigi Parisi def. John Lacqua, 6-0, 6-2; Brian Oh def. Josh Jackson, 6-2, 6-1; Jonathan Tse def. Joe Pelosa, 6-1, 6-0; Tom Petrone def. Larry Leventhal, 6-4, 6-4; Yuri Levitas def. Joe Motta Sr., 7-5, 6-3; Shawn Jackson def. Andrew Petrone, 6-4, 6-3; Marc Pollack won via default over David Lee.


text:
Greek Orthodox Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew, the "green patriarch" who leads 300 million Orthodox Christians, spoke with President Barack Obama on Tuesday about the fight against climate change.
Catholics, Orthodox tackle deepest differences very slowly
One of the fascinating aspects about reporting on religion is that the timeframes are far longer than most topics news agencies cover. Experts debate the fine points of little-known issues and progress can be slower than a snail's pace. But it's sometimes interesting to take a look at where they're going.


text:
Ozuna steps into spotlight with lights on
MIAMI — Don't always put too much on Spring Training performances. If you do, you may make some mistakes in evaluations.
Marcell Ozuna is a prime example. The 23-year-old entered camp as the frontrunner to win the Marlins' center field job. But for much of Spring Training he struggled at the plate, and he finished with a .177 average in Grapefruit League play.
More than the numbers, Ozuna had some holes in his swing he needed to correct. He was overly aggressive and had his timing off. Until the final 10 days or so, the club considered sending him to Triple-A to open the season.
But in the final week and a half, Ozuna picked things up. He ended up winning the center field job, and on Monday night, Ozuna stepped up with a huge night, going 3-for-4 with a home run, single and double in Miami's 10-1 win over the Rockies.
"We talk about it all the time, Spring Training is not always a springboard to the season," manager Mike Redmond said. "I always talk about the lights. When the lights come on, you see what guys are made up. Today, O-Zo came out, and had a big night."
Ozuna was a teammate of Jose Fernandez in the Minor Leagues, and the two are close friends. Before Monday's game, Fernandez gave his buddy some advice.
"O-Zo and I have an incredible relationship," Fernandez said. "We played in the Minor Leagues together. Today, I walked into the clubhouse, and I told him, 'I just want you to do something, take it easy, relax.' He's incredible. His ability is incredible. It came out perfectly. I am so happy seeing guys have success. Everybody is working hard. Everybody wants to impress. We want to prove we're a team, and we can play baseball."
— Joe Frisaro


text:
You are Here:
News Releases
/ Soil health and Grazing workshop set Sept. 2 in Riesel
Loading Tree...
Jeff Goodwin
Temple, TX, August 26, 2014 – A "Building Soil Health with Grazing Management" Workshop will be held on Sept. 2 at 1702 Blackland Road in Riesel, Texas. The workshop is open to the public and free of charge.
Beginning at 1 p.m., Dr. Paul Jasa from the University of Nebraska will talk about the benefits and challenges of no-till cropping systems.
Dr. Jasa's session will be followed by a tour of demonstration areas throughout the USDA research farm. Tour guides will be Dr. Jasa and representatives from the USDA Natural Resource Conservation Service (NRCS).
During the tour, discussions will be held on using livestock as a tool in a medium and high density grazing system, no till systems equipment and management, as well as forage production on pastureland and rangeland.
NRCS staff from the Waco and Marlin field offices will be on hand to offer agency updates and answer questions.
The event is being hosted by USDA Agricultural Research Service, USDA-NRCS and the Texas Grazing Lands Conservation Initiative.
Workshop flier (PDF; 228 Kb)
NRCS Home | USDA.gov | Site Map | Civil Rights | FOIA | Plain Writing | Accessibility Statement
Privacy Policy| Non-Discrimination Statement | Information Quality | USA.gov | Whitehouse.gov


text: It's that time of year again for the 2012 Chicago One of a Kind Show. Erin, from Just Grand, and I wouldn't miss it. The picture above is from the 2006 show guide cover. That year, the featured Christmas ornament booth was the best. I can't wait to go and get inspired for the holidays, visit some of my favorite creative vendors and shop for my peeps. It is a holiday shopping day that we look forward to all year. I'll report back with my favorite picks.


text:
With the Oakland Raiders opening up their 2013 training camp on July 25, they also begin the process of getting from the current 89 players down to the final 53.
While there are many players in every team's training camp that hold little chance at making the final roster, nobody can be ruled out completely.
For some of the younger players, and especially the undrafted free agents, one of several spots on the team's practice squad is an option as well.
Here is a full roster breakdown of all 89 players headed to the Oakland Raiders' training camp.


text:
Keep in touch
Keep in touch
Sign up to e-mail updates for the latest news, exclusive events and 15% off in our online shop.
The Royal Collection will be at World Travel Market to launch next year's special exhibitions and the exciting new programme of group visits to the Official Residences of The Queen. Among the many choices on offer in their groups brochure for 2008 are Private Guided Tours of the State Rooms at Buckingham Palace, available for the very first time in March and April, when Her Majesty The Queen is in residence at Sandringham and Windsor.
Opening in May, an exhibition at Windsor Castle celebrates the 60th birthday of His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales. The delightful displays bring together photographs, books and charming memorabilia from the Royal Collection and items from His Royal Highness's personal archive. The choice of objects reflects many of The Prince's interests, especially music, theatre and the arts, and includes a small group of watercolours painted by His Royal Highness. To make the most of their visit, groups can book a talk about the exhibition by a member of the Royal Collection staff.
Perennially popular with groups, the Summer Opening of Buckingham Palace offers something new every season. Next year, for the first time ever, visitors will be able to experience the spectacle of the Ballroom set up for a State Banquet. The horseshoe-shaped table traditionally used on such occasions will be dressed with a dazzling display of silver-gilt from the magnificent Grand Service, first used to celebrate the birthday of George III in 1811. Lavish buffet arrangements of jewelled cups, ivory tankards and chased dishes, sconces, shields and basins will be arranged along each side of the room.
New Private Tours for Groups
Private Guided Tours of the State Rooms at Buckingham Palace will now be available in March and April, in addition to the traditional Summer Opening dates in August and September.
For groups with a particular interest in art and architecture, a number of special-interest tours have been introduced at Windsor Castle. Led by a curator from the Royal Collection, they include Charles II at Windsor Castle: Creating 'The English Versailles', 'Gilt and Gorgeousness': George IV at Windsor Castle, Fire and Restoration 1992-97 and English Portrait Painting.
The private royal residence of Frogmore, which nestles in the beautiful landscape of Windsor's Home Park, will open for evening tours during August and September and on Saturdays for the first time.
New Combined Visits for Groups
The Royal Collection has joined forces with a number of other attractions to offer several interesting joint group visits in 2008.
Indulge your green fingers and visit the highly acclaimed exhibition Amazing Rare Things, co-curated by Sir David Attenborough, which comes to The Queen's Gallery, Buckingham Palace in March 2008. Then go on a special Plant Explorers tour at the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew, and hear about the adventures of the great plant-collectors from the 18th century to the present day, as your guide points out the exotic species brought back from their travels around the world.
Experience two fascinating attractions that are living parts of Britain's heritage in a combined visit to the Royal Mews at Buckingham Palace and the new Household Cavalry Museum. Groups can book guided tours of both locations and, by special arrangement, meet a serving officer of the Household Cavalry Regiments. This package offers a fascinating insight into work of those who serve Her Majesty The Queen, whether on grand ceremonial occasions or on active service overseas.
Following the enormous popularity of the joint visit with Frogmore House, the Royal Collection has teamed up with the Savill Garden again and added Windsor Castle as a new combination for 2008.
Come and visit the Royal Collection at:
World Travel Market: 12-15 November 2007, Hall S8, stand UKI5150
Excursions, a one-day group travel exhibition: Alexandra Palace
12 January 2008
British Travel Trade Fair: NEC Birmingham 11-12 March 2008
Tourism South East's Group Travel Fairs 2008:
Arundel Castle 9 February and Port Lympne 23 February 2008
Visit Scotland Expo 2008: Aberdeen 16 and 17 April 2008
For further information, to receive a copy of the new Group Visits and Private Tours brochure or to make a booking, please visit www.royalcollection.org.uk or call the Group and Specialist Sales team on 020 7766 7321.
Press information and photographs are available from Public Relations and Marketing, the Royal Collection, telephone: 020 7839 1377, e-mail: email@example.com.


text:
This page is about N/A joke.Read it and have fun!
If you have any good jokes yourself, why not
them for the rest of the world to see? To keep up with the latest updates, subscribe to our daily jokes newsletter. Please don't forget to bookmark us. (Just press "Control, D"). This site is updated daily.Please
us if you have a suggestion.
Free Account to browse Ajokes without any advertising!
Fishing jokes
Send this joke to a friend!
to My Jokes Box
An Arab, a Russian, a Jamaican, and an American are on a boat. The Russian takes out a big flask of vodka, takes a sip, and then throws it over board. The American asks him why he did that. "Where I come from, we have plenty of vodka." Then, the Jamaican takes out a big roll of weed, then smokes a little puff, and throws it over board, and the American asks why he did that. "Where I come from, we have plenty of that." The Russian then asks,"There must be plenty of something where you come from."
The American then throws the Arab over board.
4-Great humor
3-I chuckled
2-I smiled
1-Not impressed
<< Read previous joke
Read next joke >>
Similar Jokes in Fishing jokes Category
Grandpa and Grandson
Average Votes:5.00
Just plain sick
Average Votes:5.00
Loves fishing
Average Votes:5.00
Fishing 2
Average Votes:5.00
Best bait
Average Votes:5.00
Fishing Proverb
Average Votes:5.00
Non Flying Fly Parable
Average Votes:5.00
Little Johnny McCall
Average Votes:4.50
Sic Sqid
Average Votes:4.23
Lake of beer
Average Votes:4.17
Average Votes:4.17
Gone Fishing
Average Votes:4.00
Ice Fishing
Average Votes:4.00
A Good Salesman
Average Votes:3.96
So, do you wanna fish
Average Votes:3.89
Damn Fish
Average Votes:3.80
Little johnny
Average Votes:3.80
Average Votes:3.75
Dad and son
Average Votes:3.75
Smart Whale
Average Votes:3.73
Tackle box
Average Votes:3.67
Fisherman Meets the Police Man
Average Votes:3.67
Fishing Aint so Bad
Average Votes:3.67
Sex rules for a fisherman
Average Votes:3.49
Why fishing is better than sex....
Average Votes:3.40
Fishin' Poor?
Average Votes:3.40
Red sea
Average Votes:3.30
Two guys fishing
Average Votes:3.22
Average Votes:3.13
Fishin' Secrets
Average Votes:3.00
Copyright © 2002-2012 ajokes.com! All Rights Reserved.
Privacy Policy


text:
What is in this article?:
- Eric Seidenberger High Cotton winner for Southwest region
- Drip offers three distinct advantages
- Same fertility as drip acreage
- Gives back to industry
• Eric Seidenberger started small, leasing land where he could, and for the first few crops using some of his father's tractors and equipment.
• Today, Eric Seidenberger is farming 2,950 acres — 2,150 in cotton, the rest in wheat, and also grazes Angus cattle on 3,000 acres of pasture. He irrigates 1,225 acres, 1,000 with subsurface drip, has a 125-acre pivot, and furrow waters 100 acres. He plans to put in another 100 acres of drip for the 2011 season. Drip irrigation, reduced tillage, terracing and grassed waterways are critical parts of his production and conservation programs.
More About:
Same fertility as drip acreage
Furrow and pivot systems get the same pre-plant fertility as drip, but furrow-irrigated fields don't get in-season nitrogen applications. "We inject nitrogen through the pivot and drip systems. We've used pretty much the same thing for the past six years, but we're looking at soil samples, accompanied by petiole testing to determine how much to inject. We want to see if we can save a little on fertilizer."
He's also considering variable rate application technology to further refine his fertility program. "I'm working with Helena to knife in fertilizer, using a Veris Rig as a base for pre-plant fertility. I want to do more with variable rate application; I'm just getting started."
He uses some aerial imagery to improve efficiency of plant growth regulatorsand harvest aids with variable rate aerial applications. "Then we'll add yield monitors and field maps to identify soils that need more fertilizer."
Seidenberger uses global positioning technology to install drip irrigation systems, too. "All my drip tape except the first 45 acres was installedwith the RTK system. We still use that system when we work that field, but we have to adjust for it."
He uses ECO Drip for subsurface drip irrigation materials and Netafim tape and filters.
He relies on GPS for more than just installing drip tape. "If the RTK goes down while I'm planting a drip-irrigated field, I shut down. We have to be exactly on the row when we pick six rows at a time. It also helps to water precisely when you are right on the tapes."
Some of Seidenberger's tape is spaced 80 inches between rows and some is on 40-inch spacing under the row.
"If I were doing it all over, I'd put it all 40 inches under the row. That spacing takes about half as much water and gets moisture to the top easier. I could farm flat with the narrow spaces. But the 40-inch tape spacing is quite a bit more expensive to install because there is more drip tape in the fields."
Pre-watering to plant on 40-inch spacings takes as little as 4 inches of water, Seidenberger says. With 80-inch spaces, he may need 10 inches of pre-watering in a dry year to get the beds wet on both sides of the tape.
Most of his wells supply from 2 to 3 gallons per minute per acre. "Three gallons provides 15/100 inch per day for the crop. During peak moisture demand — blooming — cotton uses 3/10 inch a day. So during blooming, we are only giving the plant half of the water itneeds every day. We just hope we keep enough moisture in the soil profile to get us through or get a rain."
He says 5 to 6 gallons per minute per acre is "ideal for drip irrigation to provide cotton all the water it needs through the season. We're always behind — sometimes rain catches us up, but in-season we run the system all the time to stay where we need to be. Some farmers are using 1.5 to 2 gallons per minute per acre and still making good yields."
His 2010 crop was a little off from 2009, Seidenberger says; it was hurt by a too-wet June and earlyJuly and a too-dry August. Still, with a combination of good yields and excellent price, he expects a good cotton year. And he'll soon be busy getting ready to make his next crop.