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3 Reasons A Climate-Controlled Storage Unit Is Usually The Best Choice
If you need to rent a storage unit for furniture, antiques, clothing, or other types of personal belongings, it might be worthwhile to pay a little extra each month for a climate-controlled unit. The main perk of climate-controlled units is the even temperature they offer all year round; however, there are several other perks that you should know about that may help you realize that the extra fee you will pay will be extremely beneficial. Increased Security One of the differences between regular storage units and climate-controlled units is the security they offer. A regular storage unit will typically have its door outside. This will allow you to pull your car right up to the unit if you need to drop something off or pick something up, but it may not provide a lot of extra security. In order for facilities to offer climate-controlled units, they typically construct the buildings in a way that makes heating and cooling the units more efficient. To do this, they will place the units inside a building and the only access to the units will be indoors. Because of this, your goods will typically be more secure. It would offer an extra layer of protection against anyone that may try to break in and damage or steal your belongings. Fewer Pest Problems A second benefit you might not realize involves the pests that can enter your unit. Pests, such as bugs and rodents, will have a much easier time entering into a storage unit that has an exterior door only. Bugs and rodents can squeeze through the smallest openings you can imagine, and there is a much higher chance that you will have bugs and rodents in a regular storage unit. Because climate-controlled units only have interior doors, bugs and rodents are not as likely to find their way in. They would have to enter into the building first, and then they would have to make their way into your unit. Pests like these can cause a lot of damage to wood, cardboard, and fabric if they get inside your unit. If you want to avoid finding damage from pests, choosing a climate-controlled unit would be the better choice to make. Reduced Risk Of Water And Moisture Not only does an even temperature offer a barrier to moisture issues, but the fact that temperature-controlled units are located indoors also makes a difference. If you compare both options, you will find that a regular unit is much more susceptible to water leaking in. If there is a bad rainstorm, there is a chance that water could penetrate through the sides or bottom of the door on a traditional unit. This is not something you would have to worry about as much with an indoor temperature-controlled unit. When water or moisture gets into a unit, it will be trapped inside. This can cause warping and bowing of wooden furniture, and it can also cause mildew and mold to begin forming. If you choose a traditional type of storage unit, you will have to take a lot of extra steps to protect the things you store in it. For example, wood furniture will be better protected in an unheated storage unit if it is cleaned thoroughly with furniture oil before it is stored. You then...read more
Funeral Services & Children: 5 Ways to Honor Loved Ones During Services
The death of a loved one can be hard for a child to handle while they're young. Events like funerals, wakes, and memorial services can be overwhelming, confusing, and full of questions. If you are planning a funeral where a lot of kids are attending, then there are multiple ways to get them involved while honoring the loved one in your life. Whether it's a group of grandchildren for a grandparent that has passed or a lot of young cousins and relatives mourning an uncle or aunt, you can engage the children while showcasing the importance of the loved one. Consider adding the five memorial service activities specifically aimed at children. It can help them cope with the death and understand the event that just occurred. Coloring Dedication Pages Attending memorial services can mean that a child is spending hours sitting around. No matter where a child is at, it is natural for them to get antsy and bored. Add a small coloring table to the funeral proceedings to help keep them occupied and still show respect for the loved one. Not only can children color pages, but they can color ones that are specifically catered to the loved one. For example, if the person loved superheroes, then you can print out a collection of free superhero coloring pages. By explaining the purpose of the pages and the theme, the children can have a better understanding and focus on creating a nice picture. Children's Sing-Along As you plan a wake or memorial service, some older children may have the desire to participate. One way to directly allow this is by gathering a group of children together for a song selection. Singing a memorial song is a nice tribute that can showcase the kids' love for the deceased person and help keep them focused on the task at hand. One of the more important parts of this process is selecting the right song. There are a number of religious songs you can choose from, or you can select a song from an artist that the person loved. There are a number of free karaoke song resources along with lyrical videos that children can read along with. If you are playing the real version of the song, you can simply print out the lyrics and hand them to each child. Flower Picking and Placement A large aspect of any funeral is choosing flower arrangements for various ceremonies and the burial. Keep a child involved by allowing them to choose a small arrangement that can be placed at the memorial service or a gravestone. You can take a child to a flower shop or garden center or even go pick wildflowers that can be potted and used. While picking flowers, this is a good time to explain the typical funeral process and answer any questions the child may have about death. Once the flowers are picked out, your child may bring them and display them during the various funeral services. Letters & Poems With so many thoughts and feelings, it may be hard for a child to express them during a funeral service. Help them get the words out by using writing instead. By purchasing special stationery, your children can express their thoughts and write messages to the loved ones that have...read more
Five Steps To Reduce The Threats Of Vandalism And Theft To Your Business Sign
The sign in front of your business promotes your brand and helps customers find you, but sadly, it can also look inviting to vandals or thieves. If you want to deter vandals and thieves from your business sign, there are few things you can do. Take a look at these tips and ideas: 1. Avoid using valuable metals in your sign. If your sign is made of metal, it is worth money to anyone who steals it and sells it to a scrap yard. As a result, owning a metal sign can be slightly risky. To make your business sign relatively unappealing to thieves, use a ferrous metal such as iron or steel. Both of these metals are much less valuable than their non-ferrous counterparts such as copper, aluminum and brass. If you have a sign with letters that can be moved around to create different messages, keep in mind that vandals may try to steal the letters. Also, make these less appealing by choosing the least valuable metal possible, or opt for vinyl letters with a metallic finish. 2. Choose shatter resistant glass. Even if vandals don't steal your letters, they may reword the message on your sign into something rude or crass. That is not the image you want your business to promote, and ideally, you want to make vandalizing your letters impossible. Keep vandals away from your letters by having a sign that locks, and make sure that your sign has smash-resistant glass so that vandals cannot break into it. 3. Light your sign. Regardless of the type of sign you have, shedding a bit of light on it can help to keep thieves and vandals away. In order to avoid detection, most thieves and vandals prefer to work under the cloak of darkness and shadows. If your sign is in a dark spot, a vandal may feel as if they can attack it without getting caught. To disrupt that confidence, you should light your sign. You can invest in landscaping spotlights and train them on your sign, or you can buy lights that you attach to the side of your business's wall and shine down on your sign. If you like, you can also bolster this effect with a security camera pointed at your sign. 4. Spray your sign with an anti-graffiti coating. When you order your sign, talk with the sign salesperson about adding an anti-graffiti coating. Anti-graffiti coatings are not completely foolproof yet, but they are improving every day. Currently, these products create an invisible barrier over surfaces that repels water, oil and most other liquids. As a result, if a vandal spray paints your sign, the paint beads up on the coating and refuses to adhere to the sign. 5. Schedule regular repairs to your sign. If your sign is in a state of disrepair, it can be easier to vandalize. For example, imagine you have a sign with changeable letters that has a glass front. If the glass breaks, it makes it easier for vandals to move the letters or steal them. However, if you replace the broken glass quickly, vandalism isn't as likely or as possible. Similarly, imagine your sign is loose on one side. That instantly makes it easier to rip free and steal, but if you schedule a...read more
Owner-Operator Truck Driver? Avoid Causing Accidents By Staying Hydrated!
If you are an owner operator of a trucking business, there's no doubt that you have insurance to cover damages and injuries from accidents. Not only is it mandated by law, but it can save your business if you cause an accident in your semi. But the best coverage of all is to do as much as possible to prevent accidents from happening in the first place. One thing that is crucial to accident prevention is to stay hydrated while on the road. According to research, dehydration has the same effects as drunk driving. Here's what you need to know. What Dehydration Does to Your Body You wouldn't drive your semi without all the fluids it needs because that would just be asking to break down. You also need fluids. Dehydration causes a reduction in your cognitive performance, which slows your reaction time and causes you to be unable to think clearly and process thoughts quickly. On the roadway, this can lead to things like failure to apply your brakes fast enough and being unable to recognize when traffic is moving slow in front of you. Dehydration can also cause vision problems, such as dry eye and eye strain, which can result in blurred and/or double vision, and headaches. You may find yourself uncontrollably blinking your eyes repeatedly if you are dehydrated, especially in bright sunlight or when oncoming traffic has glaring headlights that shine directly into your eyes. Not being able to see properly while driving a semi is obviously detrimental to yourself and to others on the road. When your body is dehydrated it causes the sodium level in your body to be higher than it normally should be. This is a medical condition that is called hypernatremia. When the body is high in sodium, the person is at risk of going into a seizure and/or becoming lethargic. There is also a risk of coma. Any of these symptoms of hypernatremia can, no doubt, cause an accident if they occur while you are driving. Thirst Is A Warning Sign that You Need Water Now that you understand why it is crucial to stay hydrated, especially while operating a semi that is difficult to bring to a stop and keep under control, it's important to know how to determine when you are dehydrated. Feeling thirsty is one of the signs that you need to drink more water; however, your body is already dehydrated when you feel thirsty. Instead of drinking water only when you feel thirsty, make a point to drink water throughout the day, especially when you are not thirsty. Figure out how much water you need to be hydrated or ask your physician for his or her recommendation. Keep track of how much water you drink by keeping a journal and making notes each time you finish a bottle of water. This journal can be helpful in case you ever do get into an accident and the insurance company asks if you were dehydrated. One thing about being an owner-operator is that you get to set your own schedule, based on your clients' needs, of course. Given that you need to stay hydrated, you'll need to schedule in appropriate rest stops for breaks so you can use the facilities. Avoidance of drinking water and other beverages...read more
Reasons To Stop Using Paper Time Cards And Spreadsheets For Tracking Employee Hours
When you run a small business with even just a few employees, accurately measuring total worker hours, especially time spent on billable work, is crucial to your financial success. While it may be easy to track time with paper forms or a generic spreadsheet when you have just one or two employees, as you grow you should invest in timesheet software. If you have reservations about spending funds on a time reporting program, consider more info and the following reasons why you should not hesitate in making the purchase. No More Paper and Unwieldy Spreadsheets If you require employees to fill out time cards with details about their hours worked, you have to contend with archiving paperwork or secure disposal of documents that contain sensitive employee data. Plus, the cost of paper for timesheets adds to your operating costs. In addition, if you use a generic spreadsheet program to compile work hours, you may have to find creative ways to make the spreadsheet fit your exact timekeeping needs such a creating custom macros for tracking certain types of billable tasks. If you purchase timesheet software, you can have a paperless system that will enable you to provide each employee with an account to log in and enter their overall hours as well as time spent on specific tasks. Increased Productivity Obtaining a bird's eye view of how your employee's spend their time and seeing what activities generate the most to your bottom line can be a tedious chore if you rely on paper timesheets or a simply formatted spreadsheet for compiling data. However, you can choose from multi-platform software programs that provide instant reports that can tell you how much each employee spends on certain tasks, how many times someone has been late in a month and who generates the most billable work. When you can generate reports tailored to your needs, you can use the easy-to-read data to help increase your productivity. You can reassign workers to more productive tasks and keep track of how much of your payroll budget goes to overtime within a set time frame. The data you glean from reports can also help you schedule flex time and shifts. Less Hassle for Payroll If you dread gathering data from timesheets for hourly workers or reminding employees to get their timesheets turned in on time, you can rid yourself of these annoyances once you install a timesheet program on your office computer. Some software programs that are specifically designed for time reporting can provide you with automatic calculations of employee time that you can seamlessly export to submit to your payroll processing company or use for preparing payroll checks in-house. Features of some timesheet programs also include tools that enable you to send alerts to employees to remind them to fill out their computerized timesheets on time. This can save you time as you will not have to go around the office reminding people to submit their hours. Your workers will get paid on time and you will not have to deal with discrepancies in your weekly or bi-weekly payroll due to missing data. No Monthly Payments or Service Fee Increases for Software If you already use a time tracking tool such as a web-based program offered by a third-party, you probably have to pay...read more
4 Ways To Prepare Your Plumbing For Winter
With winter on its way, it's important to make sure that you are adequately prepared for all that it brings. Namely, inclement weather, such as snow, ice, and hail. One of the biggest problems that homeowners and renters have regarding their house or apartment is how to make sure your plumbing will be protected during these cold, occasionally freezing, months. There is a list of awful things that can happen to your plumbing during this time, including everything from frozen pipes to unusable water. Luckily, this guide will help you through these problems. Included are 4 ways to prepare your plumbing for winter. Have Your Plumbing Inspected For Leaks This is perhaps the first thing you should do when it comes to preparing your plumbing for winter. Call on the services of a plumber to have your plumbing system inspected for leaks. Although leaks sound like a relatively harmless issue, if you leave this problem unchecked, you will wind up with a massive problem on your hands come winter time. Leaks can lead to frozen pipes and the eventual busting of pipes and also swelling in the joints of your drains. Pipe Insulation Pipe insulation, along with other benefits, will ensure that your pipes do not freeze during these incredibly cold months. You can pick up pipe insulation at virtually any local hardware store in your area; just make sure to call in advance if you waited until the last minute with winter rolling around the corner, as these items are quite popular. Pipes that are present in basements, attics, and garages are particularly susceptible to freezing and eventually busting as they are subject to constant cold air and, generally speaking, moisture. Pipes in all of the aforementioned areas should definitely be covered. However, pipes in other areas of your home should be covered as well, for safety's sake. Turn Off Outdoor Appliances and Faucets Make sure that you turn off all outdoor faucets and appliances that generally use water or have water coursing throughout their innards. It may even help and be more convenient if you simply turn off the water supply to these objects throughout the entirety of winter. There are several things that you should specifically check in order to make sure that they are properly turned off, including garden hoses, cooling units, outdoor taps, sprinkler systems, and swimming pools (among other items that this list may not include). These objects should also be properly drained. Check manuals for instructions on how to properly drain each specific item. Close Garage Doors This is a simple tip that is often not mentioned when it comes to hints about how to properly prepare for winter plumbing issues. Making sure that your garage doors are closed throughout the entirety of winter can pay off in the long run and might ensure that you don't receive any problems with your plumbing or, at the very least, contribute to you not having a problem with your plumbing. By keeping your garage doors closed during these months, you will make sure that no cold air, or at least, very little cold air, will hit the pipes that line the course of your garage. This can help to prevent your pipes from freezing and eventually busting. Your plumbing system is a fickle beast....read more
Shopping For Office Furniture? 2 Desk Features You Shouldn't Ignore
Are you in the middle of sprucing up your office? Before you head to the furniture store to look for a desk that will blend in with your existing décor, you should consider the fact that your workstation could offer more than you might think. Here are two desk features you shouldn't ignore, and why splurging on something a little different might be a good idea: 1: Versatility Why invest in a desk that is just a desk? These days, functionality takes precedence over looks, which is why versatile workspaces are all the rage. Instead of simply acting as a desk, look for a table that transforms into one of these furniture pieces: A Comfy Bed: Don't let those late nights at the office dig into your sleep schedule. Some desks fold out into a stable, flat platform that you can use as a cot. By adding a few flat cushions, you can create an easy-to-use, comfortable bed anytime you need to—giving you a great place to catch a nap in the middle of your workday. Floating Shelves: If you prefer a more minimalist approach to your office décor, look for a desk that transforms into a floating shelf. These desks, which are mounted directly to the wall, are designed to look like a block of wood when they aren't in use. However, when you need to use your laptop or pen a letter, you can easily fold up the top to expose your work area. Don't settle for ordinary. Before you shop for a new desk for your office, take a few minutes to ponder your personal sense of style. By making your office your own, you might be able to introduce visitors to a slice of your personality, while making your space comfortable and functional. 2: Personality Believe it or not, that desk might be able to do more than transform into a sleeping surface in the middle of your workweek. Because people spend so much time sitting in their office, innovative manufacturers have developed a few incredible add-ons that you might adore. Here are a few products that might make your office the talk of the town: An Incredible Showpiece: On the other hand, you can make your desk the star of your office by shopping around for an incredible showpiece. By working with a professional woodworker, you can have a desk designed to suit your hobbies or preferences. For example, if you adore steam punk style, you might enjoy a desk made from an old pipe organ, adorned with old-world lighting and horn speakers from the turn of the century. Desk Sandboxes: Don't settle for that tropical paradise screensaver. If you like to feel the sand between your toes, consider investing in a desk sand box. These sandboxes are essentially a shallow enclosure that your desk sits inside, which you can fill with beach sand, pebbles, or whatever you prefer. In addition to bringing a little nature into your office, your enclosure might put a little space between you and unwanted visitors. Foot Hammocks: Wouldn't it be nice of you could throw your feet into a cuddly hammock whenever you wanted? Well, now you can. Foot hammocks can be mounted underneath your desk with industrial adhesive, giving you the option of kicking your feet up anytime....read more
What To Do When A Freelance Client Owes You Money
Working for yourself as a freelancer has a ton of perks: you get to set your own hours, be your own boss, and get paid for what you love. Unfortunately, freelancing also has a few downsides. One of these is that from time to time a client might pay their invoice late, or not pay it at all. Luckily, there are steps you can take to help ensure you get paid. Here are five things to do when a freelance client owes you money: Start with a Pleasant Phone Call or Email It's natural to panic when an invoice is overdue. After all, you're counting on that money. But overreacting to what may be an innocent oversight is not in your best interest, especially if you would like to continue working with your client in the future. Start off with a simple phone call or email. Instead of being accusatory, try saying something like "Hi, I was wondering if you received the invoice I sent over on [fill in the date]. It's a bit overdue so I think maybe it got lost in the shuffle. Would you like me to send it again?" In most cases, this little nudge is all it will take to get your client to pay their bill. Stop the Project If this doesn't work, it's time to halt your project. Even if you've already completed it, it's always best to wait on delivering the last bit of the final project until your client is current on their payments. Send a polite but firm email letting them know you will deliver the final project once you receive their payment. This provides you with leverage, since your client most likely needs the work they hired you to complete. Stopping work has the added benefit of preventing further financial loss, since you have no way of knowing if your client will pay you for additional work. Hire a Collections Services Company If neither of these tactics works, and it's been more than a month or so since the invoice was due, you should consider hiring a collections services company. Professional collection agents have very effective tactics for collecting your money, and know how to do so in a way that follows all applicable laws. They will charge a fee or keep a small percentage of the money collected, but it's better than not receiving any of your money. Take it to Small Claims Court If the amount of money owed is significant enough to be worth spending money on court costs, you might want to consider filing a lawsuit in small claims court. It's sometimes best to hire a collections agency or attorney to do this for you, since errors on the filing paperwork can result in the case being thrown out, causing you to lose even more money since you will then be out filing costs as well as the money your client owes you. Start Billing Up-front In order to prevent similar headaches in the future, it's important to begin billing up-front if you don't already do so. If a new client balks at the idea of paying for work before getting to know you, you can provide samples, or charge a 50% deposit to begin work with the remainder due when the project is...read more
Pet Memorialization: What To Do With The Ashes Of A Beloved Family Dog
Anyone who has owned a dog understands what an impact the death of the pet has on the household. After years of being there to greet everyone when they come home, the wagging tail, soulful eyes, and excited bark are no more. Even so, there is a way to memorialize the four-legged family member and honor the pet's memory. Here are some suggestions for what to do after the cremation takes place and the ashes are delivered to the family. Holding a Memorial Service If you consider your pet to be a member of the family, don't feel alone. According to data found in the 2012 edition of the U.S. Pet Ownership & Demographics Sourcebook, 63.2% of owners considered their pets to be family members. What do you do when a family member passes away? You hold a memorial service. Before any final decision is made about the ashes, hold a service honoring the life of the family dog. The service can be as simple as family members sitting in a circle and sharing favorite memories. If you would like something more formal, remember that clergy in many faiths are willing to officiate at services for animals. Ask the clergy of your local house of worship if this is a possibility. You may be surprised to learn there is actually a rite within that faith tradition that relates directly to the memorialization of family pets. An Urn for the Ashes Just as human ashes can be placed in urns, it is possible to do the same with the ashes of your beloved pet. This approach makes it possible to keep the ashes in a place of honor in the home. Consider an urn design that allows for an image of the pet to be sealed on the body of this final resting place. You can also opt for the addition of a plaque inscribed with the name, birth, and death dates of the animal. Remember that the urn can be passed from one generation to another, allowing the memory of the pet to remain part of the family history. You may also consider the idea of having the urn buried with you when your time comes. Pet lovers have been known to stipulate in their advance funeral arrangements that they wish to be cremated and have the ashes of their deceased pets mixed with their own in a common urn. Discuss these wishes with the family in advance, so there is no confusion about what you want to happen when the time comes. If you prefer a traditional burial for yourself, find out if the cemetery where you wish to be buried allows urns containing the ashes of pets to be placed in the coffins. With this approach, the urn of your pet can be tucked in the crook of your arm and stand as a testament to the strong bond that existed between you and your dog when both of you were alive. Spreading the Ashes in a Favorite Location Did your dog love to take a nap under the oak tree in the back yard? Perhaps the animal would stand watch by the front gate waiting for the kids to come home from school. Choosing to scatter the ashes in a place that was significant to the...read more
3 Green Tips To Make An Upcoming Move Eco-Friendly
If you take the time and effort to live sustainably and reduce your carbon footprint on a regular basis, you don't want to end up throwing it all away when it's time to move from your old home to a new home. Moving can be a pretty environmentally unfriendly activity, but you can take steps to make sure that your move is as green as possible. The trick is in finding the right boxes, making smart decisions about the things you pack, and making the most out of your moving truck. Check out a few green tips that will make your move more sustainable. Rent Your Moving Boxes Finding moving boxes is a pain. You can make it easier on yourself and on the environment by using a moving box rental service. This saves you from having to go searching for enough used boxes to facilitate your move or buying a bunch of cardboard boxes that you'll only use once. With a box rental service, you'll pick out what you need from a variety of sturdy, reusable plastic boxes. They'll be delivered to your door when you need them, and you can arrange to have them picked up from your new home when you're done – no need to throw them out or recycle them. It's easy, it saves trees, and it will even make your move easier. Sturdy, reusable plastic boxes are easier to stack than cardboard, and they'll protect your possessions more effectively than cardboard will. They're also weather-proof, so your items won't be damaged if it happens to rain on moving day. Lighten Your Load The more that you can reduce the weight of the materials you're moving, the more fuel you'll save when you're driving to your new home in your moving truck. The more weight that you have in your vehicle, the more fuel you use – every extra 100 pounds in your vehicle increases your fuel costs by seven cents per gallon. Keep that number in mind when you're deciding what to keep and what to get rid of – if you're driving a long distance, getting rid of a few hundred pounds of unwanted items can add up to a lot of saved fuel. You can reduce weight in your moving truck by taking the opportunity to downsize while you're packing. Get rid of old electronics, clothes that you've grown out of, and items that you just don't use anymore. Instead of throwing these items away, though, help the environment and your community by donating or recycling them. Give unwanted books and magazines to your local library. See if a women's shelter or nursing home can use your unwanted clothes or furniture. Metal and electronic devices can actually be recycled for cash, so you can earn a little money to put toward your moving expenses while doing something for the environment. Choose and Use Your Moving Truck Wisely The more fuel efficient your moving truck rental is, the less fuel you'll use during the move and the more energy efficient your move will be. Look for a truck that has features that are designed to reduce fuel consumption, like an aerodynamic design and a fuel economy gauge. You may even be able to find a moving truck that runs on biodiesel fuel....read more


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Climb into your race gear, buckle up in the passenger seat and watch in awe as a professional driver puts a real race primed stock car through its paces. Feel the rush as the sheer speed throws you back into your seat and you hammer down the straights at speeds approaching 200 mph. You'll see the world through the eyes of a champion driver and have the chance to follow in the tire tracks of the legends of NASCAR on the infamous Auto Club Speedway.
This is the best way to experience the racetrack from the perspective of a professional driver. Watch in awe as a seasoned racing veteran powers you around the course at unimaginable speeds. This is a high octane, white knuckle ride you will never forget!
Race cars do not have doors. All riders must have the ability to climb through a 15" high by 28" wide window that sits 35" from the ground. Must be at least 5' tall and maximum height 6'4". Waist and chest can be no bigger than 52".
2016 Dates:
March 5th & 6th
March 26th
October 15th & 16th
November 12th & 13th
**Dates are subject to change
Buckle up and prepare to blast off the start line for a high...Read more
LOCATION: Fontana, CA
Blast off the start line in the passenger seat of a race pro...Read more
LOCATION: Fontana, CA

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Children with strong math and reading skills in elementary school are more likely to earn more money later in life, according to a new study by researchers at the University of Edinburgh. Researchers said the findings suggest that it's key to provide interventions in these subjects. "There was no flattening off of the return to these skills at either end: So it is of value all the way from remedial intervention to the most gifted levels to raise these skills," study co-author Timothy Bates said.
Full Story:The Huffington Post


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I have an unminimized testcase with this crash stack:
0 xul.dll CalcQuirkContainingBlockHeight layout/generic/nsHTMLReflowState.cpp:1548
1 xul.dll nsHTMLReflowState::InitConstraints
2 xul.dll nsTArray<nsIFrame*,nsTArrayDefaultAllocator>::Clear obj-firefox/dist/include/nsTArray.h:886
3 xul.dll nsStyleContext::DoGetStylePadding obj-firefox/dist/include/nsStyleStructList.h:139
4 xul.dll nsHTMLReflowState::Init layout/generic/nsHTMLReflowState.cpp:282
Dumping it here, maybe someone can fix it by looking at the stack.
Is it a regression?
It's also happening in a 2011-08-24 build, so it's not a regression from bug 679933.
I'll try to get a testcase next week or so.
It's a null deref crash on this code:
rs is known-null here, so I would guess rs->parentReflowState is null.
Martijn, can you attach the unminimized testcase? Might well be fixable from that.
Nightly, Aurora, Beta - Linux, Mac, Windows.
Bob, thanks!
As expected, rs->parentReflowState is null.
rs->frame->mContent is a nsSVGForeignObjectElement, and rs->frame is correctly an nsBlockFrame.
Sounds like our basic assumption here is that an nsBlockFrame can't be a reflow root, and that's just not true.
We probably just need to add a null-check for rs->parentReflowState.
Created attachment 572392 [details] [diff] [review]
Add a null-check to avoid bogus assumptions about blocks not being reflow roots.
Shouldn't the fixed height of a foreignObject be relevant when computing percentage heights on its kids? (If it is, why are we in this code?)
> Shouldn't the fixed height of a foreignObject be relevant when computing percentage
> heights on its kids?
It is, but in this case we have a percent-height kid of an auto height kid of the <foreignObject>. And the page is in quirks mode, so the innermost block ends up in CalcQuirkContainingBlockHeight.
Or did I misunderstand your question?


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Attentive, reactive and energetic, our Swing music DJs really get your party going and make sure everybody has fun.
For event disc jockeys, SUBLIMINAL ENTERTAINMENT really comes through and offers excellent Latin / Salsa music selections, as well.
DJ Hustle
You'll find the most expressive DJs at DJ Hustle, and they have incredible Jazz music selections. They're also beyond knowledgeable about the genre.
DJ Connection
DJ Connection DJs are always reliable. They have an incredible selection of R & B music, too. This service never disappoints at a party.
RMH Productions
To make sure you have the best party in Norwalk, look for a hard-core, high energy Swing music DJ from RMH Productions.
primetime entertainment
So much Karaoke music, so much fun; the disc jockey was resourceful, relaxed and eminently qualified. She made the party incredibly fun and was very energetic.
Finding a seasoned deejay who can play relaxed Karaoke music in Norwalk wasn't hard, thanks to FIRST STEP ENTERTAINMENT. They treated us very well and really came through.
Elite Visual Dj
Clever DJs know when to spin Hip Hop / Rap music and Elite Visual Dj has the best disc jockey services in Norwalk. They are ready to party.
ESC Events
In Norwalk, a Dance music deejay from ESC Events is always the best choice. They're attentive to the needs of every client they work with .
passage entertainment
For any wedding in Norwalk, passage entertainment has the best event deejays around with the most popular 80's music, as well.
DJ Tempoe
Focused and ready to go, disc jockeys from DJ Tempoe play the latest Alternative music and really get the party rocking.
DJ Satisfaction
Proficient and provided with great quality Classical music, the local event DJ from DJ Satisfaction made our party happen.
Bill Lovelace Mobile DJ Entertainme...
Bill Lovelace Mobile DJ Entertainment is the right choice for Country music DJs. They have the best you'll find in Norwalk, or anywhere else.
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The Deloreans
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text:
Editor's Introduction:
By What Measure Shall We Mete?
Hodgson's Test "What serious and intelligent persons over many generations, and in preference to many available alternatives, have held to be significant," Marshall G. S. Hodgson noted some years ago, "rarely turns out, on close investigation, to be trivial."1 Speaking specifically of Islam, Thomas Carlyle put what was essentially the same point in another way: "Are we to suppose that it was a miserable piece of legerdemain, this which so many creatures of the Almighty have lived by and died by? I, for my part, cannot form any such supposition. I will believe most things sooner than that."2 Islam has, of course, long since met Hodgson's test, and it should grow clearer with each passing year that Mormonism, too, is a legitimate and serious religious option. Yet this fact, to me incontrovertible, is evidently not clear to many people. In his important book Faith and Reason, for instance, faced with the great number of religions claiming to embody divine truth and with our desire to choose between them, the noted British philosopher Richard Swinburne argues that "what a man thinks worth giving his life to serve deserves at least a passing inspection from us, if he assures us that it is of deep significance for us." So far, so good. This agrees nicely with Hodgson and Carlyle, as well as with common sense. But Swinburne's qualification of that proposition is somewhat surprising. "The Mormon . . . who knocks so unwelcome at our door," he continues, "is entitled to a small initial amount of serious attention. But I suggest that for most of us there is not nearly so much point in investigating the credal claims of religions which have not spread throughout the globe and into which we do not bump, as in investigating the other religions. The failure of the former to spread among those who do come into contact with them is some evidence that they are not worth more serious attention."3
Now, it is possible that Prof. Swinburne is talking about a different group than the Mormons I know. For it seems clear to me that Mormonism is spreading among those who come into contact with it. And, indeed, spreading very rapidly. "It is possible today," writes the eminent non-Mormon sociologist of religion Rodney Stark, "to study that incredibly rare event: the rise of a new world religion." (He sees Mormonism as the first new "world religion" since the call of the Prophet Muhammad in the early seventh century A.D.) "The Mormons," Stark argues, will soon achieve a worldwide following comparable to that of Islam, Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, and the other dominant world faiths." To be specific, he predicts a membership of between 60 and 265 million Latter-day Saints by the year 2080.4
Scholarly Indifference Such a phenomenon as this should attract study and attention from the outside world.5 Has it? On the whole, no. At the recent annual joint meeting of the American Academy of Religion and the Society of Biblical Literature, papers were given on topics including "Ecofeminism, Food and Pets," "Howard Thurman and the Civil Rights Movement: Interpreter and Enabler from the Underside of History," and "Over the Rainbow: Utopian Configurations in Hollywood Fantasy Films"–to choose entirely at random from the more than one thousand titles–but nothing, nothing whatsoever, dealt with Mormonism. Not a single session, not one paper, was devoted to the fastest growing major religion in America.
However, the problem is not merely one of indifference. In the introduction to last year's edition of the present Review, I alluded to W. D. Davies's 1986 article in the Harvard Theological Review, "Reflections on the Mormon Canon," as one hopeful sign of growing scholarly interest in Mormonism.6 I now suspect that my rejoicing may have been premature. Apparently Professor Davies, a distinguished Protestant scholar of the New Testament, has received considerable criticism for having wasted his time and talents on so unworthy a subject. "The rapid growth of the Mormons," writes Professor Stark, "has gone amazingly unremarked by outsiders. There are probably many reasons for this, including the persistence of considerable prejudice against Mormons and the seeming inability of the mass media to cover adequately much of anything that happens West of Chicago."7
I would be willing to wager that many of those who make such criticisms as Professor Davies has allegedly received know nothing or next to nothing about Mormonism. And they probably do not care to know anything. Or, rather, they know just enough about Mormonism to know that they do not want to know any more. "Indeed, the Book of Mormon has not been universally considered by its critics as one of those books that must be read in order to have an opinion of it."8 Little can be done with, or for, such people. But my concern in the present essay is with those who do read the Book of Mormon–and it is receiving some increased attention, both from believers and skeptics–but who do not, frankly, think much of it. Some, at least, of the detractors of W. D. Davies probably fall into this group, and there are many others. Why do they react so negatively? Is their reaction justified? Is there any way to judge the Book of Mormon's literary and conceptual merit objectively?
Compare the opinions about the Book of Mormon of two quite intelligent writers. First, the late Edmund Wilson, a distinguished literary critic: "The 'translation,' " writes Wilson, "is a farrago of balderdash of which the only passages that possess any dignity are borrowings from the King James Bible."9 Now, I don't really know whether Wilson ever actually studied the Book of Mormon, or if he even skimmed a page of it. But his view could not possibly contrast more sharply with the evaluation of Bruce Hafen, a prominent Latter-day Saint legal scholar and educator: "The Book of Mormon," Hafen declares, "contains without question the most profound theological treatment of the Atonement found in any book now available on any shelf anywhere in the world."10 Are these two men talking about the same book?
Presuppositions The clear difference between the two approaches, it seems to me, rests in the presuppositions that the two writers bring to their subject. Edmund Wilson found belief in the supernatural virtually incomprehensible, and in fact almost contemptible. His attitude toward Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon is not fundamentally unlike his attitude toward Jesus Christ and the New Testament. But how can Wilson's dismissal of the Book of Mormon possibly allow for the fact that hundreds of thousands of people–lawyers, scientists, farmers, bereaved parents, confused adolescents–have found guidance and comfort and deep wisdom in its pages? How can Wilson account for the testimonies included in Eugene England's Converted to Christ through the Book of Mormon, reviewed in this volume?
The power of presuppositions was illustrated very clearly for me by an experience I had while a missionary in Switzerland. I was working in a deeply traditionalist Catholic area which was notoriously resistant to proselyting–my companion and I were reputedly the first missionaries there since an earlier pair of elders had been run out of town at gunpoint seven years before–and even to the immigration of Swiss Protestants. We found ourselves speaking with a woman who had first mistaken us for a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses, and was relieved to find we were not. She had been visited some weeks before by two of their representatives, and had received from them a book which was, she said, full of the most bizarre things. We agreed with her that their theology was implausible, but I at least began to feel more and more uneasy as she proceeded to describe the book in greater detail. It was, she recalled, dreadfully dull despite all its silly stories and its outlandish names. When she offered me the book, which she no longer wanted, I eagerly accepted it. And I was not entirely surprised when what she gave me turned out to be the Bible (in the Watchtower version). What had so amused this woman, in a region not given to the reading or even the owning of Bibles, was nothing peculiar to the Jehovah's Witnesses, but the Bible itself. It was unfamiliar to her, foreign to her world and concerns, and she viewed it as a worthless farrago of nonsense.
Her reaction was not so very different from that of St. Jerome (subsequently the translator of the Latin Vulgate Bible), who admitted that, at first, when he "began to read the prophets, their style seemed rude and repellent. I failed," he said, "to see the light with my blinded eyes; but I attributed the fault not to them, but to the sun."11 Jerome's contemporary, St. Augustine, also acknowledged that his appreciation of the Bible had only come after deeper understanding supplanted an earlier disdain. "I decided," he later recalled in his Confessions, "to turn my mind to the Holy Scriptures and to see what they were like. And behold, I see something within them that was neither revealed to the proud nor made plain to children, that was lowly on one's entrance but lofty on further advance, and that was veiled over in mysteries. None such as I was at that time could enter into it, nor could I bend my neck for its passageways. When I first turned to that Scripture, I did not feel towards it as I am speaking now, but it seemed to me unworthy of comparison with the nobility of Cicero's writings. My swelling pride turned away from its humble style, and my sharp gaze did not penetrate into its inner meaning. But in truth it was of its nature that its meaning would increase together with your little ones, whereas I disdained to be a little child and, puffed up with pride, I considered myself to be a great fellow."12
Opinions Vary What, then, are we to say of the intrinsic quality of the Bible, or of the Book of Mormon, or, indeed, of any book? Is this issue merely a matter of arbitrariness, of choosing between two attitudes, neither one of which can be rationally demonstrated to be superior to the other? The history of literature certainly offers plausible evidence for such a conclusion. "There are," Hugh Nibley has pointed out, "people who loathe Bach and can't stand Beethoven; it was once as popular among clever and educated people to disdain Homer and Shakespeare as barbaric as it is now proper to rhapsodize about them in great-book clubs."13 "It is said that John Stuart Mill, the man with the fabulous I.Q., read the New Testament with relish until he got to the Gospel of John, when he tossed the book aside before reaching the sixth chapter with the crushing and final verdict, 'This is poor stuff!' "14 "M. de Balzac's place in French literature," Eugene Poitou wrote in 1856, "will be neither considerable nor high." An editor at the San Francisco Examiner, rejecting a submission in 1889, implied that the author did not have much of a future in belles lettres: "I'm sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don't know how to use the English language." "Do you not know," exclaimed Samuel Taylor Coleridge in disgust, "that there is not perhaps one page in Milton's Paradise Lost in which he has not borrowed his imagry [sic] from the scriptures?" For partisans of the Book of Mormon, there is a certain satisfaction–the Germans call this Schadenfreude–in seeing its detractors themselves reap the wrath of the critics: Surveying the works of Mark Twain, one authority predicted in 1901 that "a hundred years from now it is very likely that 'The Jumping Frog' alone will be remembered." And if the Book of Mormon is "dull," Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray is "tedious." As one critic said of Ibsen's great play A Doll's House, "it was as though someone had dramatized the cooking of a Sunday dinner."15
Fashions and tastes are notoriously variable. Enthusiasts for the music of Johann Sebastian Bach will scarcely need reminding that his wide popularity today is of relatively recent date; Albert Schweitzer played an important role in the Bach revival early in this very century. Virtually any good book on Beethoven will testify to the derision his Seventh Symphony received from contemporary critics. It was T. S. Eliot who helped to restore John Donne and the metaphysical poets to an important place in the history of English literature. Rudyard Kipling–he who did not "know how to use the English language"–won the Nobel Prize for Literature and then suffered a long decline in (literary) reputation as his (political) views went out of fashion; now, he seems to be enjoying a resurgence of critical esteem.
An entire book could be devoted to the ebb and flow of critical opinion on Shakespeare. Leo Tolstoy's disdain for the great playwright is well known.16 But he was not alone. Of Hamlet, Voltaire said that "it is a vulgar and barbarous drama, which would not be tolerated by the vilest populace of France, or Italy. . . . One would imagine this piece to be the work of a drunken savage." "Pure melodrama," wrote George Bernard Shaw of Othello. "There is not a touch of characterization that goes below the skin." And Shaw's opinion of Antony and Cleopatra was no higher: "To say that there is plenty of bogus characterization in it . . . is merely to say that it is by Shakespeare." After seeing a performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream in 1662 London, Samuel Pepys confided to his diary that it was "the most insipid, ridiculous play that I ever saw in my life." "Shakespeare's name, you may depend on it," Lord Byron assured James Hogg in 1814, "stands absurdly too high and will go down. He had no invention as to stories, none whatever. He took all his plots from old novels."17 Shakespeare, like Milton and like the Book of Mormon, fails the originality test.
A Friendly Critic In the Autumn 1988 issue of Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought, a non-Mormon doctoral candidate at the Claremont Graduate School published an article entitled "Mormon Christianity: A Critical Appreciation by a Christian Pluralist."18 Missionary-minded Latter-day Saints should, I think, welcome the serious attention that John Quiring has evidently given to Mormonism. There is always much to be learned from the observations made about us, personally and as a group, by sympathetic critics. Quiring's criticisms, along with those of a number of other friendly outsiders, offer a means of gaining a better perspective on ourselves, on the Church, and on its attendant culture. Several of his comments are precisely on the mark. (Although I suspect that it was not people like Mr. Quiring that Pres. Hinckley had in mind when he remarked that "we don't need critics standing on the sidelines.")19 His perspective as a "pluralist"–and perhaps (I am guessing) as a student of John Hick–is extremely interesting. Nevertheless, I take strong exception to some of his observations. Particularly, I take exception to his evaluation of the Mormon canon–an evaluation directly relevant to the concerns of this Review of Books on the Book of Mormon, and one which, I think, rests clearly upon the liberal theological presuppositions he brings to that canon.
To Quiring, the "narrative material" of the Book of Mormon "seems flat, monotonous, imitative of the King James Version of the Bible, and lacking in vitality in contrast to the Bible itself and other scriptures of Penguin Classics stature." In his Penguin canon, Quiring includes such works as the Bhagavad Gita, the Analects of Confucius, the Tao Te Ching, and the Qur'an.20 I could comment upon my experience with several of these world scriptures, but it is the Qur'an, with which I have been seriously involved in a fairly continuous way over the past decade or so, to which I wish mostly to address myself. Quiring is simply mistaken if he thinks that reader reactions to his Penguin canon have been uniformly awestruck or reverential, and the case of the Qur'an provides abundant illustration of that fact:
The Qur'an as a Case Study "The Alcoran of the Turks (I speak without prejudice) is an ill composed Piece, containing in it vain and ridiculous Errors in Philosophy, impossibilities, fictions, and vanities beyond laughter, maintained by evident and open Sophisms." So wrote Sir Thomas Browne in his little seventeenth-century classic, Religio Medici.21 He was not alone in his view of the Qur'an, for "the opinion almost unanimously held by European readers [is] that it is obscure, tiresome, uninteresting; a farrago of long-winded narratives and prosaic exhortations, quite unworthy to be named in the same breath with the Prophetical Books of the Old Testament."22 Indeed, the preface to the English translation of the Qur'an that appeared in 1649 described the book as "so rude, and incongruous a composure, so farced with contradictions, blasphemies, obscene speeches, and ridiculous fables" that "I present it to thee . . . not doubting, though it hath been a poyson, that hath infected a very great, but most unsound part of the Universe, it may prove to be an Antidote, to confirm in thee the health of Christianity."23 A century later, George Sale, introducing his own hugely influential version of 1734, remarked that, "They must have a mean opinion of the Christian religion, or be but ill grounded therein, who can apprehend any danger from so manifest a forgery. . . . It is absolutely necessary to undeceive those who, from the ignorant or unfair translations which have appeared, have entertained too favourable an opinion of the original."24 Having read Sale's competent translation, which continues in print to the present day, Edward Gibbon was able to speak of the Qur'an's "endless incoherent rhapsody of fable, and precept, and declamation, which seldom excites a sentiment or an idea, which sometimes crawls in the dust, and is sometimes lost in the clouds."25 Thomas Carlyle, who shared with Gibbon not only Sale's English version but also a liberal attitude toward Islam which was quite remarkable for their age, joined in Gibbon's denigration of the Qur'an: "I must say, it is as toilsome reading as I ever undertook. A wearisome confused jumble, crude, incondite; endless iterations, long-windedness, entanglement; most crude, incondite;–insupportable stupidity, in short! Nothing but a sense of duty could carry any European through the Koran. . . . One feels it difficult to see how any mortal ever could consider this Koran as a Book written in Heaven, too good for the earth; as a well-written book, or indeed as a book at all; and not a bewildered rhapsody; written, so far as writing goes, as badly as almost any book ever was!"26 (Has the Book of Mormon received any harsher literary judgment than that?)
Not all European readers have reacted so negatively, of course, although it must be admitted that few positive voices, if any, could be heard until just a few decades ago. While not himself wholly positive–one might think of him as something of a transitional figure–Alfred Guillaume well expresses the more appreciative stance of modern Islamicists when he notes that "the Qur'an is one of the world's classics which cannot be translated without grave loss. It has a rhythm of peculiar beauty and a cadence that charms the ear. Many Christian Arabs speak of its style with warm admiration, and most Arabists acknowledge its excellence. When it is read aloud or recited it has an almost hypnotic effect that makes the listener indifferent to its sometimes strange syntax and its sometimes, to us, repellent content. It is this quality it possesses of silencing criticism by the sweet music of its language that has given birth to the dogma of its inimitability; indeed it may be affirmed that within the literature of the Arabs, wide and fecund as it is both in poetry and in elevated prose, there is nothing to compare with it."27 More positive still is the English Muslim convert, Mohammed Marmaduke Pickthall, who lamented that even after his best efforts at translation, "the result is not the Glorious Koran, that inimitable symphony, the very sounds of which move men to tears and ecstasy."28 Perhaps the greatest of all translators of the Qur'an into English, the late A. J. Arberry, could speak of "those rhetorical and rhythmical patterns which are the glory and sublimity of the Koran"–"thrilling," he called them–and of "the glittering splendour" and "radiant beauty of the original," which is "mysterious and compelling." Each chapter, Arberry contended, "is a rhapsody." "Those notorious incongruities and irrelevancies," he wrote, "even those 'wearisome repetitions', which have proved such stumbling-blocks in the way of our Western appreciation will vanish in the light of a clearer understanding of the nature of the Muslim scriptures."29
In coming to such evaluations of the scripture of Islam, these Western orientalists have simply begun to approach a bit more closely to the attitude which has always characterized believers. For Muslims, the Qur'an is peerless, beyond compare, beyond the capacity of mere humans to duplicate. This belief, formalized in the doctrine of i'jaz, or "inimitability," extends not merely to the content of the book but, and perhaps especially, to its style–the very style so ridiculed by many Western readers. To Muslims, each verse of the Qur'an is a miracle. Indeed, the verses of the Qur'an are actually called, in Arabic, ayat ("signs," "miracles")–reminiscent of the semeia, the "signs" or "miracles" performed by Jesus in the Greek New Testament.30
Still, it would be wrong to suppose that a knowledge of Arabic, coupled with a freedom from the hostility of earlier generations of Western Christian scholarship, leads necessarily to appreciation of the Qur'an as literature. Many highly competent Arabists privately admit–as the eminent Italian scholar Francesco Gabrieli has done publicly–that they can scarcely bear to read the book.31 And Arberry was obliged by his own views to condemn Reynold Nicholson, the great Edwardian translator of Arabic poetry, as rhythmically "deaf"–rather an absurd charge, really–because Nicholson thought only the final chapters of the Qur'an to have much poetic or literary merit. "One may, indeed," Nicholson had written, "peruse the greater part of the volume, beginning with the first chapter, and find but a few passages of genuine enthusiasm to relieve the prevailing dullness."32
The point of all of this is certainly not to attack the Qur'an, but rather to suggest that appreciation of the literary merits of scripture tends to be very much a subjective thing. Thousands upon thousands of Jews over many centuries have found great significance and spiritual nourishment in the very regulations of Leviticus that I find almost unreadable. (Quiring places the Bible above the peculiarly Latter-day Saint canon–but surely he is only referring to certain parts. Is Exodus 37, say, demonstrably superior to Doctrine and Covenants 88, or to Moses 7, or to 2 Nephi 4?) And although I read the Qur'an in the original Arabic, and although I find it endlessly intriguing as an object of study, and even despite some passages which have great impact upon me, I find the Book of Mormon and other Latter-day Saint scriptures vastly more appealing. Bernard DeVoto's dismissal of the Book of Mormon as "a yeasty fermentation, formless, aimless, and inconceivably absurd" would strike me, for instance, as quite unfair if reapplied to the Qur'an, but it is downright ludicrous when applied as he intended it.33 Furthermore, I am convinced, just as was Arberry with reference to the Islamic scripture, that a "clearer understanding" of the nature of the revelations received by and through Joseph Smith–an understanding based on such things as the recognition of complex and meaningful chiasms, for example–will lead to a yet greater appreciation of their strengths as literature. (This despite the restricted working vocabulary of their translator and receiver, which can hardly compete with that of King James's Oxbridge scholars, who frequently managed to improve upon the koine Greek of the New Testament.)
Originality Is Not the Test Perhaps somewhat less subjective is an estimate of the originality of scripture. Alas, though, John Quiring and I disagree here too. The texts of the Doctrine and Covenants, says Quiring, "are not sufficiently fresh to be taken as new revelations but are derivative." However, he implicitly believes the Qur'an to possess originality of a level to merit its recognition as legitimate "revelation" (in whatever sense he would define that word). I myself am somewhat less convinced.34 The Qur'an certainly does not claim to be original, and Muhammad would probably have been upset to be identified as an innovator. He saw himself rather as restoring the pristine religion of the earlier prophets. As Marshall Hodgson observed of one aspect of the book, "The specific moral ideals were in no case unprecedented and rarely departed from moral norms upheld, in principle, in the older Bedouin society. (The Qur'an made no attempt to lay down a comprehensive moral system; the very word for moral behaviour, al-ma'ruf, means 'the known'.)"35 And, I might add, the usual Arabic word for "heresy" is bid'a, which means, literally, "innovation."
Quiring's allegation of a "derivativeness" in Joseph Smith's revelations reminds me somewhat of Fawn Brodie's complaint that Mormonism offered "no new Sermon on the Mount, no new saga of redemption."36 I had thought the old ones good enough! Quite seriously, though, I believe that both Mr. Quiring and Mrs. Brodie underestimate the presence of original elements within Mormonism and its scriptures, and that Quiring overestimates the originality of the Qur'an.
Literary Merit Is Largely Irrelevant There is, of course, a sense in which the literary merit of the Book of Mormon, or the lack thereof, is wholly irrelevant. "Its literary or artistic qualities," Hugh Nibley has remarked, "do not enter into the discussion: it was written to be believed. Its one and only merit is truth. Without that merit, it is all that nonbelievers say it is. With that merit, it is all that believers say it is. And we must insist on this truism."37 It would be foolish, would it not, to disregard a warning that your home was on fire simply because that warning had not been couched in iambic pentameter? In a very real sense, our house is on fire, and the prophets are warning us. If they can do so in literarily appealing ways, well, so much the better. But the message itself is the important thing.38 And that message does seem to be getting across to some extent, as Rodney Stark's numbers would seem to imply. (It is partially for this reason, but also for many others, that I see no cause now to retreat from traditional claims for the historical and revelatory character of the Book of Mormon. I am far less sanguine than John Quiring and some of my acquaintances within the Church that Mormonism would remain just as vital–or, indeed, grow yet stronger–if we were to "devaluate the Book of Mormon to the status of edifying, amateur fiction."39 I see little glory or dynamism in the path taken by liberal Protestantism. At this point in the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the suggestion that we might begin to flourish by imitating, say, progressive Episcopalianism, is every bit as convincing as the notion that the San Francisco Forty Niners would have performed more impressively in the 1989 Superbowl had they only swapped quarterbacks and offensive lines with the Denver Broncos.)
Intrinsic Merit Many have seen the Book of Mormon, as Mark Twain is well known to have done, as "chloroform in print."40 Its alleged "dullness"–which recalls the alleged "dullness" of the Qur'an, a member of Mr. Quiring's Penguin canon–is a frequent point of criticism. "The small number of people who have tried to read the book declare that it is dreadfully dull," wrote Hilel Ragaf.41 "Surely," remarked Sir Richard Burton, "there never was a book so thoroughly dull and heavy; it is as monotonous as a sage-prairie."42 "In nothing," says M. H. A. Van Der Valk, "does the line, style, invention, conception, content and purpose reveal the hand of a master, let alone of Divine inspiration." Yet one nineteenth-century British clergyman felt that he had to reject the Book of Mormon in spite of "all its air of sincerity and truth [and] all the striking and often beautiful passages that it contains."43 There is admittedly little doubt that many readers do find the book dull. But this admission requires comment: Most ordinary people–my Swiss Hausfrau is a case in point–find the Bible "dull," as well. How many copies of the Bible decorate bookshelves unread in Christian homes around the world? Is Leviticus really more of a page-turner than Alma? Why, if the Nephite scripture is so unreadable, do many members of the Church find its "Isaiah portions"–notoriously close to the King James Version, as we are often reminded by our enemies–the major stumbling block to their attempts at getting through it?
Of course, it has also been argued that form and content cannot really be neatly separated in any human creation, and that to do so is both artificial and misleading. This seems an implausible proposition to me, but I will not deny that it does contain certain elements of truth. Can anything, then, be said about the form of the Book of Mormon? Or is it really, as Bernard DeVoto said, "formless"? Several scholars have argued in print for a high level of literary sophistication and complexity in the Book of Mormon.44 Jeffrey R. Holland, referring to Aristotle's Poetics, has expressed his opinion that "by Aristotle's standard the Book of Mormon is not only a good book; it is a classic . . . unified, whole, verses fitting with verses, chapters fitting with chapters, books fitting with books, and always that strong beginning."45 (Richard Dilworth Rust's article, in this volume, is yet another contribution to the ongoing discussion of the book's literary quality.)
There Is Hope Are we left, then, with pure subjectivism? Is there no hope of approaching the question of the stature of the Book of Mormon on the basis of anything beyond personal preference and sheer whimsy? I think there is. Even Fawn Brodie, no friend of Joseph Smith, had to admit that Bernard DeVoto's evaluation of the Book of Mormon was inadequate: "Dull it is, in truth, but not formless, aimless, or absurd. Its structure shows elaborate design, its narrative is spun coherently, and it demonstrates throughout a unity of purpose."46 And if her perception of the book's entertainment value is debatable–I, at least, find it fascinating, although I admit that neither it nor the Bible can or should be read like a Tom Clancy novel–surely Brodie was right about its structural sophistication. And this can be–and increasingly is–demonstrated on quite objective grounds. Up until now, the prime exhibit for this argument has clearly been the phenomenon of chiasmus.47 But there is mounting up a considerable body of analysis demonstrating that at least something of the strangeness of the Book of Mormon is due to the presence in it of other ancient and complex literary forms which Joseph Smith is highly unlikely to have discovered on his own, and showing as well that its contents are rich and subtle beyond the suspicions of even the vast majority of its most devout readers.48
As we learn more about the Book of Mormon, our appreciation for it increases. This is not surprising, since it reflects human experience generally. I well remember, as a student in high school, visiting one of the large art museums in Los Angeles in order to attend an exhibit of work by the Norwegian painter and graphic artist Edvard Munch. I walked briskly through the exhibit and came out both bored and uncomprehending. Then a docent outlined for us some of the basic elements of Munch's life and work, and escorted our school group through the exhibit. Within minutes, I had come to an appreciation of Edvard Munch which has remained with me ever since. When we know more, we see more. Again, an example from my own experience: I was raised in the city; my father was raised on a North Dakota farm and, for a time, studied forestry. When we have driven through rural areas together, I have seen flat spaces of green or brown, with palm trees or pine-like trees or (the largest category) "other trees." My father, however, sees alfalfa at various stages of maturity, wheat, oats, corn, elms, oaks, firs, spruce, pines, and much, much more. Because of his greater familiarity with the subject, he sees more richly and appreciates more deeply. Landscapes that to me are terribly dull, he finds interesting and even beautiful.
The Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies, which publishes this Review, is dedicated to the exploration of the Book of Mormon because those associated with the Foundation deeply believe that it contains treasures of insight and wisdom of immense value to both Church and world. We are convinced that the Book of Mormon deserves the closest analysis by every means that heart and mind can summon up, that it will be better appreciated when it is better known. "Students of the Christian scriptures in all faiths," Bruce Hafen has written, "cry out to grasp the grand secrets of the Atonement, which can unlock the further mysteries of man's nature and life's purpose. If only they could know what truths lie buried before their eyes in the plain and precious language of the Book of Mormon. These truths are in some sense inaccessible to those whose tools of language and discourse are limited to the terms of art embodied in the academic and jargon-laden discipline of contemporary Christian theology. Great revelations–literally–await those who will let the Book of Mormon speak for itself about its central message, Christ's Atonement, 'according to the plainness which is in the Lamb of God.' "49 We know that to be true. We have also begun to know, through experience, that, as Lowell Bennion has said of the Book of Mormon, "we can learn from it all our lives without exhausting its resources."50
All whose reviews and articles appear in the present volume are believing members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who fully accept the Book of Mormon as what it claims to be and are firmly convinced of its divine significance. I wish to thank them for their willingness to participate in this enterprise. Thanks are also due to Stephen D. Ricks and John W. Welch, who assisted in the editing process; to Melvin J. Thorne and Donald W. Parry, who helped with the production of the volume; to Lois Richardson, who helped at many points along the way. And once again, as last year, Shirley S. Ricks was indispensable in working out the mechanics of the volume–in truth, arguably the one indispensable person to the whole project.
Opinions expressed in the Review of Books on the Book of Mormon are not necessarily those of its editor, nor of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nor of the Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies. Nor should the individual writers be regarded as speaking for the institutions with which they may be affiliated. The attempt has been made to be comprehensive. Every book published on the Book of Mormon during 1989–so far as known to me–has been taken into account. Books which have not been covered in this volume will, we hope, be treated in the next issue. The one exception is a frivolous volume, utterly devoid of merit, that we finally decided not to dignify with a review. One other book appeared in 1989 that will not be reviewed in this volume (because it is a reprint), but which deserves special mention because it is among the finest and most important things ever published in the field. That is Richard Lloyd Anderson's Investigating the Book of Mormon Witnesses, first issued in 1981.51 Its reappearance, this time in paperback, is cause for some rejoicing.
The bibliography at the end of this volume represents an effort to record everything published during 1989 that deals primarily or substantially with the Book of Mormon. It also reaches further back into the past for some items which were missed in last year's edition. My thanks go to Adam Lamoreaux for his work in this regard.
- Marshall G. S. Hodgson, The Venture of Islam, vol. 1 (Chicago and London: University of Chicago Press, 1974), 159.
- Thomas Carlyle, On Heroes, Hero Worship, and the Heroic in History (New York: Chelsea House, 1983), 53.
- Richard Swinburne, Faith and Reason (Oxford: Clarendon, 1981), 196.
- See Rodney Stark, "The Rise of a New World Faith," Review of Religious Research 26 (September 1984): 18-27. In subsequent remarks, made in late 1989, and which I understand are to be published, Stark has reiterated his predictions.
- Ibid., 26: "The 'miracle' of Mormon success makes them the single most important case on the agenda of the social scientific study of religion."
- W. D. Davies, "Reflections on the Mormon Canon," Harvard Theological Review 79 (January 1986): 44-66.
- Stark, "The Rise of a New World Faith," 22. On p. 27, Professor Stark says, "I continue to be astonished at the extent to which colleagues who would never utter anti-Semitic, anti-Catholic, or even anti-Moslem remarks, unself-consciously and self-righteously condemn Mormons."
- Thomas F. O'Dea, The Mormons (Chicago and London: University of Chicago Press, 1957), 26.
- Edmund Wilson, The Dead Sea Scrolls 1947-1969 (Glasgow: William Collins and Sons, 1985), 275. Richard L. Anderson reviewed Wilson's book, naturally emphasizing the discussion of Joseph Smith and the Mormons, in BYU Studies 10 (Autumn 1969): 120-24.
- Bruce C. Hafen, The Broken Heart: Applying the Atonement to Life's Experiences (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1989), 3. This is rather contrary to DeVoto's estimate of its theological worth: He termed the Book of Mormon "at once a parody of all American religious thought and something more than a parody, a disintegration." See Bernard DeVoto, "The Centennial of Mormonism," American Mercury 19 (1930): 5.
- Jerome, Epistle 32:30, as translated in J. Stevenson, Creeds, Councils and Controversies: Documents Illustrating the History of the Church, AD 337-461, rev. ed. (London: SPCK, 1989), 180.
- Augustine, The Confessions 3:5:9, in the translation of John K. Ryan (Garden City, New York: Image, 1960), 82.
- Hugh Nibley, The Prophetic Book of Mormon (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book and F.A.R.M.S., 1989), 85.
- Ibid., 221.
- Comments culled from Bill Henderson, ed., Rotten Reviews: A Literary Companion (New York: Penguin, 1987), 23, 50, 56, 62, 80, 85. This, with Henderson's companion volume, Rotten Reviews II: A Literary Companion (New York: Penguin, 1988), is a treasure trove of critical misapprehensions. Amusing also is Bryan F. Griffin, Panic among the Philistines (Chicago: Regnery Gateway, 1983).
- Tolstoy himself was the object of strange critical misperceptions. He lived through the awarding of the first ten Nobel Prizes in Literature, and was passed over every time. Those who won instead are, in order: Rene F.A. Sully- Prudhomme (1901), Theodor Mommsen (1902), Bjornstjerne Bjornson (1903), Frederic Mistral and Jose Echegaray (1904; shared), Henryk Sienkiewicz (1905), Giosue Carducci (1906; chosen unanimously over Tolstoy, Mark Twain, Rainer Maria Rilke, George Meredith, and Henry James), Rudyard Kipling (1907), Rudolf C. Eucken (1908), Selma Lagerlöf (1909; beating out Tolstoy and Strindberg), and Paul J. L. Heyse (1910). Of the last-named winner, one of the judges remarked that "Germany has not had a greater literary genius since Goethe." See David Wallechinsky and Irving Wallace, The People's Almanac (Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 1975), 1098-1100.
- Henderson, Rotten Reviews, 72-74.
- John Quiring, "Mormon Christianity: A Critical Appreciation by a Christian Pluralist," Dialogue 21 (Autumn 1988): 151-57.
- Cited by Quiring, "Mormon Christianity," 153.
- Quiring, "Mormon Christianity," 154, and 154 n. 4.
- Thomas Browne, Religio Medici and Other Writings (London and New York: J. M. Dent and Sons, and E. P. Dutton, 1906), 28.
- Reynold A. Nicholson, A Literary History of the Arabs (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1962), 161.
- Cited in the preface to the first volume of A. J. Arberry, The Koran Interpreted, 2 vols. (New York: Macmillan, 1969), 1:8. Arberry's two prefaces (found at 1:7-28 and 2:8-16) are marvelous surveys of the Western response to the Qur'an, and of its translation history, as well as guides to its appreciation.
- Cited in Arberry, The Koran Interpreted, 1:10-11. In the edition of Sale's translation in my personal library, the original introduction has wisely been replaced by one written by Sir Edward Denison Ross. See George Sale, The Koran Translated into English from the Original Arabic (London: Frederick Warne, n.d.).
- Edward Gibbon, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, vol. 2, Great Books of the Western World 42 (Chicago: Encyclopedia Britannica, 1952), 231.
- Carlyle, On Heroes, 79-80. Emphasis in the original.
- Alfred Guillaume, Islam (Harmondsworth: Penguin, 1956), 73-74.
- Mohammed Marmaduke Pickthall, The Meaning of the Glorious Koran (New York: Mentor Books, The New American Library, n.d.), vii.
- Arberry, The Koran Interpreted, 1:24-25, 28.
- The Iranian Shi'ite title "Ayatollah"–or, more accurately, ayatulla–means "sign [of] God" in Arabic.
- Gabrieli's response to the Qur'an was related to me by my former teacher, Seeger A. Bonebakker, a leading authority on classical Arabic poetry who, I suspect, shares his opinion.
- Nicholson, A Literary History of the Arabs, 161; Arberry, The Koran Interpreted, 2:9-10.
- For the phrase, see DeVoto, "The Centennial of Mormonism," 5.
- For one thing, the rhymed prose style of the Qur'an, known in Arabic as saj', was simply the vehicle used by contemporary Arabian soothsayers, or kahins.
- Hodgson, The Venture of Islam, 163.
- Fawn M. Brodie, No Man Knows My History: The Life of Joseph Smith, 2d ed. (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1975), 403.
- Nibley, The Prophetic Book of Mormon, 86.
- For brilliant elaboration of a related point, see Soren Kierkegaard's essay "Of the Difference Between a Genius and an Apostle," in Kierkegaard, The Present Age, translated by Alexander Dru (New York: Harper and Row, 1962), 89-108.
- For the suggestion, see Quiring, "Mormon Christianity, 154; cf. Brodie, No Man Knows My History, 425.
- On the context of this much-quoted phrase, see Richard H. Cracroft, "The Gentle Blasphemer: Mark Twain, Holy Scripture, and the Book of Mormon," BYU Studies 11 (Winter 1971): 119-40. Cracroft argues persuasively that "Twain was obviously one of the multitude who had not read the book. . . . If Twain read the Book of Mormon at all, it was in the same manner that Tom Sawyer won the Sunday School Bible contest–by cheating."
- Cited by Nibley, The Prophetic Book of Mormon, 78.
- Cited by Nibley, The Prophetic Book of Mormon, 85.
- M. H. A. Van Der Valk and George Wotherspoon are cited by Nibley, The Prophetic Book of Mormon, 189-90.
- See, for example, Robert E. Nichols, Jr., "Beowulf and Nephi: A Literary View of the Book of Mormon," Dialogue 4 (Autumn 1969): 40-47; Robert K. Thomas, "A Literary Critic Looks at the Book of Mormon," in Truman G. Madsen and Charles D. Tate, Jr., eds., To the Glory of God (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1972), 147-61; Steven C. Walker, "More Than Meets the Eye: Concentration of the Book of Mormon," BYU Studies 20 (Winter 1980): 199- 205; Steven P. Sondrup, "The Psalm of Nephi: A Lyric Reading," BYU Studies 21 (Summer 1981): 357-72; Bruce W. Jorgenson, "The Dark Way to the Tree: Typological Unity in the Book of Mormon," in Neal E. Lambert, ed., Literature of Belief: Sacred Scripture and Religious Experience (Provo, UT: Brigham Young University Religious Studies Center, 1981), 217-31; Richard Dilworth Rust, " 'All Things Which Have Been Given of God . . . Are the Typifying of Him': Typology in the Book of Mormon," in Lambert, Literature of Belief, 233- 43; George S. Tate, "The Typology of the Exodus Pattern in the Book of Mormon," in Lambert, Literature of Belief, 245-62; John S. Tanner, "Literary Reflections on Jacob and His Descendants," in Monte S. Nyman and Charles D. Tate, Jr., eds., The Book of Mormon: Jacob through Words of Mormon, To Learn with Joy (Provo, UT: Brigham Young University Religious Studies Center, 1990), 251-69; Eugene England, "A Second Witness for the Logos: The Book of Mormon and Contemporary Literary Criticism," in John M. Lundquist and Stephen D. Ricks, eds., By Study and Also By Faith: Essays in Honor of Hugh W. Nibley, 2 vols. (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book and F.A.R.M.S., 1990), 2:91- 125.
- Jeffrey R. Holland, "Conclusion and Charge," in Monte S. Nyman and Charles D. Tate, eds., The Book of Mormon: First Nephi, The Doctrinal Foundation (Provo, UT: Brigham Young University Religious Studies Center, 1988), 317.
- Brodie, No Man Knows My History, 69.
- On which, see John W. Welch, "Chiasmus in the Book of Mormon," BYU Studies 10 (Autumn 1969): 69-84; Welch, "A Study Relating Chiasmus in the Book of Mormon to Chiasmus in the Old Testament, Ugaritic Epics, Homer, and Selected Greek and Latin Authors," master's thesis, Brigham Young University, 1970; John W. Welch, "Chiasmus in the Book of Mormon," in John W. Welch, ed., Chiasmus in Antiquity: Structures, Analyses, Exegesis (Hildesheim: Gerstenberg, 1981), 198-210; John W. Welch, "Chiasmus in the Book of Mormon," in Noel B. Reynolds, ed., Book of Mormon Authorship: New Light on Ancient Origins (Provo, UT: Brigham Young University Religious Studies Center, 1982), 33-52; Noel B. Reynolds, "Nephi's Outline," in Reynolds, Book of Mormon Authorship, 53-74; John W. Welch, "Chiasmus in Helaman 6:7-13," available from F.A.R.M.S. as WEL-87b.
- See, for instance, any of the relevant writings of Hugh Nibley; also John L. Sorenson, "The 'Brass Plates' and Biblical Scholarship," Dialogue 10 (Autumn 1977): 31-39; John W. Welch, "The Narrative of Zosimus and the Book of Mormon," BYU Studies 22 (Summer 1982): 311-32; John A. Tvedtnes, "Isaiah Variants in the Book of Mormon," in Monte S. Nyman, Isaiah and the Prophets (Provo, UT: Brigham Young University Religious Studies Center, 1984), 165-77; C. Wilfred Griggs, "The Book of Mormon as an Ancient Book," in Reynolds, Book of Mormon Authorship, 75-101; Stephen D. Ricks, "The Treaty/Covenant Pattern in King Benjamin's Address," BYU Studies 24 (Spring 1984): 151-62; Richard Lloyd Anderson, "Imitation Gospels and Christ's Book of Mormon Ministry," in C. Wilfred Griggs, ed., Apocryphal Writings and the Latter-day Saints (Provo, UT: Brigham Young University Religious Studies Center, 1986), 53-107; Larry G. Childs, "Epanalepsis in the Book of Mormon," available from F.A.R.M.S. as CHI-86; Blake T. Ostler, "The Throne-Theophany and Prophetic Commission in 1 Nephi: A Form-Critical Analysis," BYU Studies 26 (Fall 1986): 67-95; John W. Welch, "The Nephite Sacrament Prayers: From King Benjamin's Speech to Moroni 4-5," available from F.A.R.M.S. as WEL- 86a; Noel B. Reynolds, "The Political Dimensions in Nephi's Small Plates," available from F.A.R.M.S. as REY-87; Stephen D. Ricks, "Fasting in the Book of Mormon and the Bible," in Paul R. Cheesman, ed., The Book of Mormon: The Keystone Scripture (Provo, UT: Brigham Young University Religious Studies Center, 1988), 127-36; Donald W. Parry, "Poetic Parallelism of the Book of Mormon," available from F.A.R.M.S. as PAR-88a; John W. Welch, "The Calling of a Prophet," in Nyman and Tate, First Nephi, The Doctrinal Foundation; A. D. Sorenson, "Lehi on God's Law and an Opposition in All Things," in Monte S. Nyman, ed., The Book of Mormon: Second Nephi, The Doctrinal Structure (Provo, UT: Brigham Young University Religious Studies Center, 1989), 107- 32; John W. Welch, "Lehi's Last Will and Testament: A Legal Approach," in Nyman, Second Nephi, The Doctrinal Structure, 61-82.
- Hafen, The Broken Heart, 26.
- Lowell L. Bennion, The Book of Mormon: A Guide to Christian Living (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1985), 130.
- Richard Lloyd Anderson, Investigating the Book of Mormon Witnesses (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1981; repr. 1989).


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Cast: Kunal Khemu, Mandana Karimi, Zoa Morani
Producer: Bhushan Kumar, Krishan Kumar, Vikram Bhatt
Director: Shivam Nair
Storyline: Bhaag johnny is a 2014 bollywood film directed by shivam nair under the banner of bvg films and scil, bhaag johnny is a thriller film. starring kunal khemu and zoa morani, the film also marks the debut of iranian actress mandana karimi. the movie is produced by bhushan kumar, krishan kumar & vikram bhatt and co-produced by ajay kapoorshot in parts of india and thailand, the film is apparently expected to release in august 2014. vikram bhatt is seen doing a cameo as a genie in the film.See full storyline
Cast overview


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Writing Press Releases
- Status Completed
- Budget $30 - $250 USD
- Total Bids 15
Project Description
We're looking for a reliable writer (or writing team) to create copy for us.
~ For this job, I will give you a single press release, written professionally for our client.
You will take this press release and write 6 variations of it, using 100% different sentences, sentence structure, new quotes, (which you will be creative enough to effectively fabricate) and using new keyphrases.
~ You can use some of the same wording, but not enough for it to show up as the same article to a search engine. In other words, you will recreate, rearrange and restructure 90% of the wording.
~ Each press release will be 300-400 words.
~ You are bidding on 12 restructured press releases.
~ You'll send us the press releases as you write them, for approval and suggestions as we go.
We pay by GAF escrow, and will release the funds after all 12 press releases are done.
~ Must pass copyscape check, keyword density of 2-5%. We own copywrite (can't be sold to someone else).
~ We have ongoing writing work. If you do this effectively, you can spend less time in the future scanning and bidding on GAF projects (and dealing with new project headaches) and more time making money writing.
We've been through this over and over trying to find good writers who will sit and do a thorough job as instructed.
1) Please be able to write English as your first language. Please don't bid if you or your staff struggle with English.
2) You must be familiar with writing press releases. Know the specific format of a press release. Know how to incorporate quotes, etc.
3) You must have lots of feedback as a writer.
4) If you're being considered, I will communicate with you via pm and request an actual sample from this project before I actually hire you (to avoid wasting both of our time). We will not use your work without formally hiring you of course.Get free quotes for a project like this
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Derek Jarman, (born Jan. 31, 1942, Northwood, Middlesex, England—died Feb. 19, 1994, London, England), British filmmaker who crafted highly personal avant-garde motion pictures through which he sought to "demystify homosexuality" and explore human experience from a uniquely gay perspective. While Jarman often used classical plays or historical personages as the basis for his work, it was said that all of his films were in some way "about" homosexuality. Jarman studied at King's College, London, and the Slade School of Fine Art. He had some success as a painter and as a set designer for the Royal Ballet, the English National Opera, and ... (100 of 261 words)
Derek Jarman
British filmmaker


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I knew it was for real when I hadn't taken more than three steps off the flight before I nearly ran into some cat wearing a Bobcats hat. The NBA All-Star Game was here. Turns out that man had a game the following night. Turns out that man was Kemba Walker, who was hounded all the way down to luggage claim, and then was overwhelmed enough with picture requests that fan pressure pushed him all the way up against the bag ring in the corner. Thursday afternoon, and a weekend with the best basketball players in the world was already starting.
The media hotel – Orlando's Marriott World Center – was so much like a city, I wasn't the only one who had to ask three or four people how to get to my room. The place has towers, elevators only going to certain floors, spiderwebs of rooms on every level. The pool area is so unbelievable – I'm talking slides, rock formations, probably a dozen different Jacuzzis – that I should thank the NBA for keeping me busy or else I probably would've left with a John Candy in Summer Rental-level burn.
Stories are what make All-Star Weekend. After spending Thursday night out, dishing on the best recollections of the past, I had my own at just before 9 in the morning on Friday. Eating my makeshift breakfast – a Caramel Frappacino and bagel from Starbucks – I turned to my left. There was Dennis Rodman, a woman on his hip and an eye at getting some All-Star gear. He had just come from breakfast, and probably before that, a night out. Rodman up at 8:45 in the morning? Rocking a Fedora, shades and greeting nearly every person in the lobby with a handshake? No way had he been to bed. Later on, I had the same waitress who took the Worm's breakfast order. He had wanted some Bloody Marys, but was told they couldn't sell him any liquor until 11 a.m. Predictable.
Friday is always the craziest day for media. The NBA makes all of the participating players available, and with time slots to organize it all, hundreds of media come pouring in. Trying to get to the biggest names never works out. You'll be stuck with – as in the case of Dwight Howard – the same cliche and tired answer and questions sessions. Where do you want to play? Do you want to be traded? Do you love Orlando?
[RELATED: The adidas NBA All-Star VIP Experience]
But if you latch on to other names, you'll occasionally find some interesting stuff. Tony Parker blew it on his first date with Gregg Popovich. Track and field announcers always butchered Andre Iguodala's name as he growing up. Derrick Rose didn't start paying attention to the Olympics until the Redeem Team.
I had gone in hoping to ask them about girls. Groupies. The throngs of them are one of the first things you notice at an All-Star Weekend. But the hardest part is finding a way to transition. A one-on-one interview is one thing. That's easy to blurt out crazy questions. But when there's 15 media members crowded around one person, and suddenly someone yells out, "Yo Roy. What do you think about all these All-Star Weekend groupies?" they'll be laughter and a possibly very awkward moment. You have to be slick about it.
The games are obviously always fun, even if the media attention is so great that you don't always get a courtside view. From Greg Monroe punking John Wall at the end of the Rising Stars Challenge to LeBron James sulking next to Craig Sager like he had just lost his balls and blown an NBA Finals Game, it's cool to be close for those things. But the stuff you'll remember happens off the court. Even the smallest things, like when Jameer Nelson's entourage wouldn't let me on the elevator with them (I guess I wasn't cool enough to be included) become instant jokes.
The highlight of the whole weekend for me was being invited and playing ball at a special Jordan Brand event about 20 minutes away from the hotel. Media guys from just about every major national publication were there, and so were a few celebrities. The first run was ordinary – just a bunch of media members. Everyone super excited to be rocking JB's newest gear. Everyone super hyped with the DJ bumping music in the background. With all of that added energy, the game was pretty sloppy. Warming up for the second run, DJ Clue came over to get some shots up before we checked ball. You want respect? Dude could've missed 10 shots in a row, and he would've kept getting the ball back.
Going up against Jadakiss in the actual game was interesting. I figured he'd be garbage. Instead, he scored four or five buckets, most of them double-pumping in the lane. At one point, he scored on me (even though I obviously fouled him) with an up-and-under at the rim, yelling the whole time in that unmistakable voice.
[RELATED: The First 24 Hours: NBA All-Star Weekend Photos]
It was weird. I'm sitting there thinking to myself, Okay. Do I talk junk to this dude or not? He's Jadakiss. It's not every day you start trading jabs with a man who does it lyrical for a living. Other than the fact that they're worldwide famous, the games took on a rather ordinary feel. Every pickup game must include two of the following three things: a) a couple of guys who don't pass and call every foul, b) the fat guys who play lazily for the first five points and then start colliding with everyone who tries to run through the lane, and most importantly c) a major, 5-15 minute argument about the score. I think we had all three.
By the time All-Star Weekend was all over, I was rushing out of the hotel to meet a shuttle to make my flight. Extra gear I had been given over the weekend consisted of some Air Jordan 2012s, the adiZero Rose 2.5s, some All-Star edition adidas originals, an adidas bag, an NBA bag with a t-shirt stuff inside, adidas and Jordan socks, Jordan shorts, two All-Star jackets and four All-Star shirts from adidas and a reversible and t-shirt from Jordan. You always pack light on these trips. I came back feeling 20 pounds heavier and sweating three times as much from carrying enough luggage to clothe a family for a week.
What was your favorite part of the weekend?
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Let us know when your receive great advice so we can thank our lawyers and point others with similar questions in the right direction.Got it!
I currently live in NY state. I have a divorce decree with my ex husband that orders him to pay child support but we do not go through the CSEA (my choice). He has made mention to a few people that he would like to move to Texas because Texas does not enforce out of state child support orders. I am wondering if this is accurate.
Not true. Massachusetts is only state that has not yet adopted the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act. You can enforce your order if he moves to Texas.
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I have Michigan cases where parents zare receiving support from ex's living in Texas. No particular difficulty in collecting, other than the usual slow pay. If they fail to pay, our Prosecutor charges them with felony non-support, and they are extradited back to Michigan. Cases usually plead out to felony Attempt Fail to Pay, a 2 year felony. The Judge adds the cost of extradition to what is due the state. I hear the cross country van ride is unpleasant. Then, jail or prison time. When they get out, they have to start paying.
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