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Dear Margo: When a Granny Doesn't Like Her Grandchild
When a Granny Doesn't Like Her Grandchild
Dear Margo: How young is too young to be a bad person? I never would have thought it could happen in my family, but my granddaughter, 12, is miserable, angry, morbid and, as I've recently discovered, seemingly incapable of being a positive human being. Last month, my son died in a car accident. He had been drinking, but I believe the greater culprit was a slippery road after a heavy rain. I am devastated, but this girl has yet to even shed a tear! She was always an odd child: quiet, aloof, refusing to associate with family unless forced to. The girl's father just died, and she doesn't seem bothered.
To make matters worse, she seems bizarrely fixated on other people's grief while not experiencing any of her own. She asks whether we've cried, how much we've cried, why we've cried. She even asked that I cry for her! My husband says I'm being unreasonable, but I really can't stand seeing this girl anymore. How can I be around a girl who could be so callous about the death of her own father? At this point, I just want to cut her out of my family's life. But I do wish to see my grandson, my son's other child. I've wondered whether therapy or medication could fix my granddaughter's problems, but I suspect she may be beyond help. — Grandma Gives Up
Dear Grand: The death aside, this child sounds unhappy and perhaps disturbed. As for the loss of her father, her grieving behavior sounds unusual but not unfeeling. She sounds in no way oblivious and may have suppressed her grief by displacing it onto others. The fact that she's discussing death makes me think the subject is on her radar screen. She may be in emotional, albeit not cognitive, denial. Instead of wishing not to deal with her, I would pay extra attention to her and try to get a dialogue going. You say nothing of the child's mother, but a therapist would be helpful. — Margo, probingly
Repeated Mistakes
Dear Margo: One of my oldest friends is approaching dire financial straits. She has been "between jobs" for about a year and is the single parent of a teenage boy. She's a professional who has held a series of jobs over the past five years, and I think she likes risk more than safety. With every job, there comes a point where she absolutely hates being there (the novelty has worn off), so she'll quit or get laid off. And she has taken a rather laissez faire attitude about things. Until now.
Suddenly, it seems, she sees that no one wants to hire her (she's in her 50s), and she's starting to panic. I don't know what, if anything, to do, except listen. She also has psychological issues that have been diagnosed, but she won't follow through on medication. I feel there is nothing more to do to help her, but I don't want to abandon her, either. Do you have the right advice for me in this situation? — Not Sure How To Help
Dear Not: Your friend is learning — perhaps a little late — that actions have consequences. There is nothing for you to do except encourage her, as a first step, to follow through with the medical advice she's been given and get her to understand her own past actions. Should she be lucky enough to land a new job, you might remind her every now and then that it's a job she needs. There is only so much a friend can do. — Margo, acceptingly
* * *
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via the online form at www.creators.com/dear-margo.html. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
Every Thursday and Friday, you can find "Dear Margo" and her latest words of wisdom on wowOwow
70 Responses so far.
Re: letter #2 – How does one go about purposely getting laid off? I've heard of people getting laid off due to misfortune, downsizing, etc, but I didn't know that one could cause a company to let them go without fault.
lw2-A person, in response to bleeble, can do a 'just enough to get by ' job, or have an attitude of not 'really caring about the company' so when it comes time for cutbacks, this is the person to go. BUT-if she has had a number of jobs in the last 5 years, I would think it was more-last one hired, first one fired. Most people CANNOT help being laid off. Even if you are a good to great worker, if the numbers are cut, YOU GO!.
LW1-how does this GRANNY know that her granddaughter has not SHED A TEAR?? Not everyone can cry in public, or cries that easily… maybe that is why she is questioning the length of others' crying??? She has a granddaughter who might be very very shy, or maybe, since she has been like this awhile, suffering from depression or another mental health ailment… or, maybe the girl realizes her GRANDMAMA is a judgemental witch who blames others and cuts off people quickly and wants to stay as far away as possible??? As for the angry, if it is new, or more then usual, she might not be blaming the wet road but the fact that DADDY DRANK and this is what KILLED HIM… not the wet roads, as GM is in denial about. (who knows, maybe dad's drinking was alot more then GM knew or was willing to admit, and THAT AFFECTED the girl???). But, while Margo pleaded with GM to not stay way from her Granddaughter, I would first like to know if this grandmother is a nasty biatch first. Unfortunately, sometiMES it is BETTER not to see some relatives.
You are wrong Luna – this kid seems to have been born with a severe personality disorder. Granny can see it and is very alarmed. Watch an episode of Deadly Women and get back to me. When the behaviors that at such a young age, there is little hope, it's part of their personality. Disagree all you like, but the research backs me.
Research on what? A person you've never even seen, as described by an admittedly biased observer?
My mother is a clinical psychologist. Access.
Holy cow. You are missing my point, which is that you are making an extreme judgment (Deadly Women? little hope?) of a kid you have never even laid eyes on, and who is being described by a woman who clearly has a screw loose. You believe a narrator who attributes a drunk-driving death to rain? A narrator who wants to know how to cut a kid out of her family while maintaining contact with her brother?
Of course there's tons of research on personality disorders, but that doesn't mean this kid has one.
And your mother would never dream of diagnosing a stranger based on someone else's description!
Of course not. No competent clinician would ever diagnose a stranger based on a letter written by a third party to an advice columnist.
And I should also mention that personality disorders are never diagnosed before age 18. This girl is far too young to be diagnosed with one.
my thoughts exactly…
Oh that is nonsense. Not everyone cries in response to a death of a loved one, at least not at first and not necessarily in front of people. Plus, she's probably angry that her dad was stupid enough to drive drunk and get himself killed. Why shouldn't her reaction to his death be weird and complicated? Especially when the grandmother is so hostile toward the girl and in complete denial about her son's irresponsible and fatal behavior.
THIS! Grandma sounds in total denial "oh he was drunk, but I'm sure it was more about how it was raining." Bitch please. The girl is FURIOUS at her dad for getting his ass killed and is trying to work through it. Granny needs to be taken out back and smacked into growing the hell up.
This girl obviously has some issues expressing her feelings. If she is asking someone else to cry for her then she understands it is an issue & is attempting to figure out what is normal. Some children are taught very young to not cry. Some also have someone telling her that her uncle & dad deserved it by their actions & it's not worth crying over. The fact that the granny doesn't attribute the child's anger, depression & lack of emotion to the fact she has recently lost two very important men in her life is disturbing. She may have an attachment disorder–or not. As for not being positive, is Granny feeling particularly in a "positive mood" lately after the loss of her son & son-in-law? As for the aloofness, perhaps she doesn't like Granny. Or maybe she is just shy & has an innate ability to sense granny is a bit whack.
Oops! Misread that. I thought the girls' father & the son of Granny were two separate people.
I'm astonished that you would say this girl has a severe personality disorder and that your only reference and "research" is a cable television show. Oh, and the fact that your mom is a clinical psychologist, which doesn't make you one. Just reading the letter, it seems to me that the grandmother might never have been very fond of the granddaughter (referring to her behavior pre-accident as "odd"). Like others, I also found the grandmother's assertion that the son's accident was due more to rain than his drinking as strange. I don't see anything morbid about an adolescent who is quiet around relatives, hasn't cried (at least in front of anyone), and who asks who has cried. Many adolescents are surly around relatives. As luna midden pointed out, the girl may view the accident as her father's fault since he was drinking, and perhaps she is angry at him. Maybe that makes her confused or also leads to her feeling guilty over the anger. Who knows? What seems apparent is that the LW is jumping to conclusions and judging her granddaughter–who is probably in need of a lot of support–very harshly.
My employer offers voluntary separations during lean times before the forced lay offs – but these separations are still a "lay off" with a severance package and eligibility for unemployment benefits from the state…
I think she means her friend's attitude affects her job to the point where she gets "laid off."
Dear Gramma, you are teaching this girl that the adults in her life cannot be depended on, especially when they are needed most. Good job. Painful as it is for you, consider that her dad did something dumb and got himself removed from her life. She may partly be angry with him for leaving her, and she's not entirely wrong about that.
Here's a little window to look through: My mother died when I was six. A suicide. Chose to leave her husband and two young kids. Oh, I know it was an act of terrible desperation, but still, that set me up for a miserable childhood. I still wrestle with blaming her for the years that followed.
Her family, most notably my grandfather, wanted nothing to do with us afterward. My Dad was alone, his parents and brother were dead, and work kept him away for all but a couple of our waking hours per day. Result: growing up with precious little adult guidance. Raised by wolves, as it were.
Oh, there were other adults around – teachers, neighbors, parents of friends. Quick to criticize a lot of superficial crap, as I recall, not so much to really listen or mentor as a wild wolf-child needs. Think this made me a weird, oblivious kid? You bet. Think that affected me socially? YES. The emotions eventually left on my surface were anger and hostility, because somewhere along the way it seemed that anything else just opened the way to getting hurt more. So I buried everything else. Not for public consumption.
It took a long time, and a very scary conscious effort, to get… somewhere quasi-normal. No, Margo, no therapy here. I just decided, as a young adult, to take a few bricks out of my defenses. I will always have trust issues, but that's protective so I'm OK with it.
I have often wondered how different, how much easier things might have been, if I had had a steady, loving, available adult mentor in my childhood. Maybe I could have been more loving and positive and even had a social grace or two. But I had your granddaughter's ill luck, a stressed and often bitter single parent, and adults who could have engaged with me but didn't, except in negative ways.
I neither knew nor mourned when my grandfather died. I had not seen or heard from anyone on that side of the family since age 6. They were strangers, and so shall you be.
Your granddaughter has a big rough patch ahead, but she will probably get through it and turn out more or less OK by her 20s. No thanks to you.
Hello, Lila,
Kudos to you! You did come out being on top of it, and you do have my admiration.
Warm regards, and all the best,
Vielen dank, Frau Quink, this kind of letter just pushes my buttons. This grandmother needs to imagine what the 12-year-old CHILD is going through. And openly preferring one grandchild over the other – ugh! She is doing a lot of damage.
Lila, your testimony shows how strong a person can become by living through tragic circumstances (meine grosse Bewunderung) – let's hope the granddaughter has the fortitude to weather this chapter of her life, or the assistance of other strong adults or a therapist to help.
Lila, Very well said.
Lw1: very sorry for your loss. Your granddaughter needs your help. I'm going to lay it out for you. If your son died in a drunk driving accident then he had a drinking problem. Your granddaughter was living in a bad home situation, probably much worse than you know. What you're in is denial. Your granddaughter needs counseling and you do too. There may be some terrible but legitimate reasons why your granddaughter is processing mixed feelings.
To the irritation if LW2, I'm sending you all prayer and light during such a difficult time.
Apologies Dear Margo, the person who hated prayer was dear Abby's LW. I should always read you FIRST!
I think you nailed LW#1 on the head! That grandmother made me so angry I wanted to reach through my computer and smack her.
Letter #1 – As President Obama often says "Someone needs to be the adult in the room…."
This applies in this situation. Although I am sorry for this letter writer's loss, she needs to grow up. Understandably she is in denial about her son's death. If he was drinking and driving when he died, no Dear, it wasn't the slippery roads. It was him. And although she did not say, we can only hope HE was the only one killed.
If this little girl truly is and has always been as negative as you describe, that speaks more to how she was/is being raised, and the fault lies with her parents (your son included). I am going to make the assumption that she was close to her father (if not, why would the grandmother be so put off that she is not mourning his loss) if this is true, why had he not taken steps to help her get help for her personality disorders?
You are behaving more like a 12 year old than she is. Almost tantamount to pouting and stomping your feet and shouting "I'm taking my ball and going home!" She isn't mourning in the way you want her or expect her to…..really? In order to mourn she must cry like you have? No, it doesn't work that way.
Something tells me it may not be the 12 year old that is in need of help, it is this grandmother. She is in denial about the true cause of her son's death and she is using her granddaughter as a source to displace her grief over her loss. It is much easier to make a big deal about how the child is behaving, than sitting in idle thought and deal with her own loss of her son.
Letter #2 – The friend has psychiatric issues so extreme that they require medication? Nope, there is nothing that you can say to this woman until she is back on her meds and able to receive your sage advice. The first step is to attempt to encourage her to get back on her prescribed medication. If she won't or refuses, I would sever the relationship. And as you walk away remind yourself of what Margo so perfectly said "There is only so much a friend can do"
With the latest rash of mass murders and shootings, mental illness is yet again in the forefront of a national discussion. On one hand we must have sympathy for those struggling with mental issues, but on the other hand they MUST be held accountable for their life decisions. It's not enough to constantly say "they can't help themselves, they have emotional issues…." If she can apply for and hold down jobs, even temporarily, she has the ability to apply rational thought. So she should recognize help is being offered to her. If she doesn't accept it, I say leave her alone.
I was aghast at this letter, and even more because it was from a *grandmother*: Someone who should be old and wise enough to have more insight.
If the granddaughter is acting like this, something hasn't been right in her home for a long time, and I'd bet good money it was related to the son/her father's drinking (because if he died drinking and driving, he had a problem, no matter what his mother thinks). This whole family needs help. The granddaughter needs help, the grandmother needs help, undoubtedly the surviving wife/child's mother needs help.
For the record, grandma, I would have reacted the same way when I was your granddaughter's age. I've always been the type to fight emotions until I can't keep them down any longer; luckily, I didn't have to go through anything this horrible when I was so young.
Agreed! This child is going to be much better off without this judgmental b***h in her life!
my father died when i was 13 after a long illness. i didn't cry for months. i was too terrified at being left to my mother's tender mercies. being beaten bloody with regularity, being ostracized from my family with no one permitted to talk to me and other atrocities. congrats granny, you're only 1 step up from this. your granddaughter had to live in a situation with a drinker that you willfully ignore, even now, and you blame HER for not grieving as you see fit. if i had anything to say about it, you'd be out of both these children's lives. the complication of you saying to the boy 'you're grieving properly and to the girl 'you're not' is highly destructive.
Wow, at first I was angry at grandma, but now thinking about it, grandma might be doing granddaughter a favor by removing herself from granddaughter's life. I wonder if it occured to Oblivious and Judgemental Grandma that perhaps granddaughter has some serious anger at her father that no one is addressing. Perhaps she truly hasn't shed a tear- not because she is a cold unfeeling morbid child, but because her anger right now is covering her sadness. Maybe she feels guilt on top of anger for not feeling more sad. Maybe dad had a drinking problem and was unpleasant and his death brought some relief. Who really can tell from a short letter.
Here is what we do know from the letter: 1. granddaughter has never been close to the family, and grandma has concluded there is something wrong with her, as opposed to chalking it up to shyness, undiagnosed autism, or a myriad of other possibilities that have nothing to do with her being a sociopath in the making. 2. Grandma does not hold her son responsible for any of his mistakes, but expects the 12 year old to behave like an adult, and 3. Grandma thinks all people should grieve the same way, and anyone who doesn't should be alienated or cut off from the family. All three things point to Grandma being the problem, not the granddaughter. Perhaps cutting herself off from the child will do more good than harm.
You forgot #4 that points to Granny being the problem — Granny wants to maintain a relationship with the other child, just not the granddaughter. Peachy!
Number 1900. Granddaughter's behavior is extremely indicative of sexual abuse.
grandma needs to start putting someone else first. NOW.
LW1: Whatever the granddaughter's problem—your melodramatic and extremely negative attitude towards her is only fuel for the fire. And I can tell you from personal experience that showing love to one grandchild while withholding it from another is one of the worst things you can do, not only to them but to yourself. It WILL bite you on the ass—mark my words.
LW2: "Suddenly, it seems, she sees that no one wants to hire her (she's in her 50s), and she's starting to panic. I don't know what, if anything, to do, except listen."
What exactly are you supposed to do—run through the town and ring bells? You are the ant, and she is the grasshopper. Feast on her corpse after the snows finally come.
As to Ltr.# 1: This child seems to be severely traumatized and deserves her Grandmother's compassion, and not her disdain……..
L #1: Is it possible this girl has been abused by someone close to the family? It's also possible that she is mentally ill. She needs help. Talk with her mother (whether you're close to d-i-l or not).
L #2: Wow. Yeah…actions have consequences. If/when she does get another job, tell her to "bite the bullet" and keep it. She no longer has the luxury of lots of jobs or age on her side. Glad my dad drilled this into my head very young: "YOU CAN CHOOSE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUT YOU CANNOT CHOOSE THE CONSEQUENCES." Thank you dad!
Re LW 1 – First I suspect that Granny is cutting the late son some slack on the drinking because it runs in her family, including her.
I, too, wondered about the girl's relationship with her father. Was he loving and supportive? Mostly absent living his own life, investing all his time in business or golf or drinking buddies? Was he an abuser who took advantage of his daughter? It happens, and Granny would not want to go there, even in her imagination; he was her son, ergo perfect. (It was the slick roads that did him in, not the booze after all).
Family relationships are complex. IMO if Granny is truly concerned, the best thing she can do is see that the girl gets some therapy to deal with her loss and whatever else is going on for the granddaughter.
Also, the girl is 12; a hormonal time of many adjustments. She may have no idea what is an appropriate way to act in this situation. Granny seems to want the response of a mature woman from a pre-teen. The girl may never had experience with the death of someone close to her before. The suddenness of her father's passing makes it worse.
great sentiment from your father, Cindy!
Dear Grandma,
Please keep in mind that not only has this girl experienced a tragedy, losing her father, she is also 12, I do not know whether or not she has hit puberty (gotten her period) but the hormones have been doing a happy dance inside her for a couple of years now as well as everything else. I remember when I was 12, I had a hard time expressing my emotions, even if I wanted to, there was something inside of me holding them back, I would do the exact opposite of what people wanted from me. I could pick up on emotions of other people…don't you think she can feel how you feel about her? Don't think she doesn't feel that, she does…and she is acting the way you think of her, why not? She probably feels she you have already made your mind up about her so why does it matter? She knows it irritates you so if you cant love her… irritation is better than nothing. Maybe she blames you for her father's drinking, maybe her father had conversations with her about how he was raised that you have no clue about, you don't know what he has said to her. Maybe she only cries her heart out when she is alone, I know I did.
Could she have ADD? Might be a good idea to look up the symptoms and take the girl to a psychologist to be tested. Maybe she has been abused by someone and is acting out. There are so many different reasons why she could be acting the way she does. If her Mother doesn't take her maybe you should suggest it and instead of complaining, step up to the plate and help the girl. Go to grief counseling together…it will help you too. Maybe she wants you to love her but doesn't think you do, maybe some day you can help fill the hole her Father left and the two of you could be closer than you ever thought possible.
Not trying to tear into you Grandma you have also suffered a great loss, but you are the adult here….please, for her sake….put aside how you think she should feel and find out how she DOES feel, Good Luck to you.
ADDer's tend to be really friendly and outgoing — I'm one. Sounds more like something on the autism spectrum, or just being a badly-traumatized adolescent.
LW#1: What others have said about the child's current state are all definite possibilities. However, the description of the child sounds very much like she might have Aspergers Syndrome, which is in the autism spectrum. As the mother of two children (now grown, and doing very well, btw) in the spectrum, the lack of outward expression of appropriate emotion and the inappropriate questions about how others are feeling sound very much like a child with an autism disorder. I strongly advise seeking some testing in this area. In any event, the child needs understanding and love, not disdain and hate.
Asperger's or some other form of autism spectrum disorder was my first thought as well, which would mean that the granddaughter was asking those questions because she really didn't understand and needs the support of her family to get what's going on around her.
Which seems even more likely considering grandma was terribly in denial about her son's drinking — it's not a big leap to her being in denial about her granddaughter, too.
Lw1: sounds like the girl is a budding psychopath. Sorry but I don't care how much daddy drank and mommy didn't listen. She is asking some very strange questions for a 12 year old. It seems to me she is testing the waters of what is "Normal" behaviour. "Grandma, how much do you cry?" can be translated into how much should I be crying if I could cry. She sounds like Dexter. Perhaps the girl is just incapable of understanding peoples emotions because she doesn't have any of her own.
I think granny needs to have a talk with the girl's mother and find out what is going on when the girl isn't around her before making a decision. (Although sounds like she already has made one) People are so quick to jump on the grandmother but how many of you have known someone who was just a little off and then found out they were stonecold nuts. I have known a few in my time. Usually the first impression is the right one.
That could be, could be she has psycho issues, but those are usually (not always) caused by someones upbringing. She could be saying stuff on purpose to hurt Granny as much as Granny has hurt her? We have no idea what the family dynamics in this situation are. Maybe she is asking the Grandmother to cry for her because something happened to her (possible abuse by Father) and she is glad the father is no longer there to hurt her, maybe the grandmother knew about the abuse and called her a liar or let it continue. Just because someone is dead doesn't make them an instant Saint IMO.
Psychopaths are very rare, especially among women. However, preteens with confusing and strange reactions to the death of a parent when said parent died as a result of irresponsible drinking behavior? I would bet that is a lot more common than psychopathy. Her reaction is perfectly normal. She's pissed off that she's become an orphan because her dad was an idiot drunk who got behind the wheel. She has every right to be pissed off and confused. That doesn't make her a psychopath. I would bet money that this girl is perfectly normal. It's the situation she is in that is not normal.
She was sexually abused. Read better.
@Toni Jean- Nowhere in the letter was any reference to possible sexual abuse; why do you infer that?
Of course it wasn't in the letter. This is a woman who thinks her drunk-driving son was killed because the roads were wet. She's not exactly bright. But when I read about her behavior and how she was reacting to her father's death sexual abuse was my first thought. She may be asking strange questions because she doesn't know what to do. She obviously can't tell the grandmother because she thinks her son is perfect even after he was driving drunk – oh, it couldn't be his fault, it was the road's fault! Even if it's not the case someone needs to get her to a psychologist to help her through this time and maybe get to the root of her behavior.
Wow, you are comparing a 12 year old girl that someone is describing in a short letter to a TV show? Because you watch Dexter you can recognize a psychopath? Shall I analyze what you sound like?
It looks like all these cable tv psychoanalysis/serial killer shows are leading to self-proclaimed psychological experts.
To "Grandma Gives Up" oh do not give up. This is uncommon, but not rare and not unheard of. She is analyzing loss and grief. You might try to tell her that it is ok to cry and why you cry. How it helps relieve the pressure of the emotional pain. I know you're hurting but you're hurting so much that you failed to notice that essentially she's asking why. More whys will come out. If you need an example, I think the lead character in BONES suffers from an advanced form of this issue. Address it now by being understanding. this is a learning experience – not a "She should already know" situation.
Like the girl in the first letter, I was young when my father died (13, not 12) as a direct result of his drinking. LIke her, I limited my time around people when he was alive and didn't have the typical emotional reaction when he died. Would you like to know why?
Because he was an abusive alcoholic! My father was, to most people on the outside, a brilliant man, former military, who stayed home while his wife worked. To me, he was a frightening, angry drunk, who was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive. He beat the crap out of my brother for the tiniest infractions and did anything in his power to shame me into submission when he realized that hitting didn't work (I'd been sort of desensitized to it, watching him hit my brother all my life). When I was 11, he found a stack of Playboys under my brother's bed, smacked him around a bit for it, then gave them to ME so I could learn what a woman is "supposed" to look like, so I didn't think it was Ok to grow up looking like my mother. My mom, meanwhile, was working three jobs to keep food on the table because my father was too drunk to pull himself out of the house most days.
So, dear Grandma, think about this for a second. You think your granddaughter doesn't miss her father? Maybe there's a reason for that.
Ding, ding, ding. We have a winnah!
Nerdling, thanks for your insight. Whatever's going on with this girl, she needs dependable love, support, and mentoring. If something is going amiss, casting her aside certainly does not help, especially when it comes with the message "I love your brother but not YOU," or "You're troubled, and that makes you evil garbage, so I don't want you around."
Grrrr. Conditional love is no love at all.
Dear nerd, right there w you. Thank you for your post.
LW 1- Glad you're not my grandma. I sympathize and have compassion for your personal grief, otherwise- you suck.
LW 2- Plenty of us have jobs we hate but we keep them because we have to. I do not understand these people who think they are above doing what most people have to do to make ends meet. Grow the hell up, no amount of medication will help you if you cannot do that.
does anyone else kinda of hate the LW#1? I read the letter just shaking my head. What a self-involved judgmental woman. wow. You want tears? you want explosive grief? is that proof? really? you're messed up, lady!
I hear you, BeanCounter.
The girl had to be forced to join family outings? Let's see, Grandma, I'm guessing you were there on these occasions, since you saw that she had to be forced to go. Gosh, why wouldn't she WANT to go out with a grandma who obviously dislikes her and a family who either doesn't notice or doesn't care that grandma treats one child differently than the other? Trust me, the kid knows you don't like her. She figured it out years ago. Even if she didn't notice, her brother has probably explained that Grandma likes him better than her, because siblings are occasionally jerks to each other.
The poor kid doesn't cry? Big deal; different people process situations and emotions differently. Maybe she feels like she's got to be the one to "stay strong" because everyone around her's crying all the time. Maybe she feels like if she cries, she's weak. Maybe she's just angry that her dad was an idiot who got behind the wheel of a car when he was drunk. Maybe he showed her just as much affection that you show her, so she has little or no reason to be upset. She's ALLOWED to feel whatever she's feeling. You don't get to dictate her feelings or her actions. Get over it.
Ltr # 2 – I've known/worked with people like this. They get a little too comfortable with their surroundings, elevate their worth to the company in their own eyes, come up with their own systems of doing their work as a measure of job security, etc., then start to slack off a bit. They get "laid off" (really, it is a firing) they either bad mouth the company or make excuses for themselves. When they finally do land another job the cycle starts all over again until the employer wises up. I've seen this on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, until that person recognizes they need to fix something in them, there's really nothing you can do to help.
LW1) "He had been drinking, but I believe the greater culprit was a slippery road after a heavy rain … "
What a hootin' dose of dumb denial. Smarten up. Your son died because he was a drunk driver who couldn't control his vehicle in typical weather conditions. Hopefully no one else died in the crash.
As for the little girl, she needs and deserves help and understanding. Just because she's not caterwauling, doesn't mean she isn't deeply grieving in her own way.
LW2) It's amazing how folks who have gleefully bounced around from job to job while slurping up unemployment in between gigs are waking up on the cusp of 2013 to find that employers can pick and choose. Generally, age 50 and older workers better be mighty good or they won't make a short list, much less land the job. Pushing 60 with a spotty record? Forget it. Lay it out for your friend, so if by chance she actually gets a job, she'll be inclined to work harder toward keeping it. The old days are over.
Here's the deal: none of us knows the truth about what is going on in LW#1's family. My initial reaction was horror at what appears to be heartless callousness on Grandma's part. But the reality is that although we all are picking up on some severe family dysfunction, we can't know the whole picture and each of us is seeing this through the prism of our own experiences. Sure, maybe the son was alcoholic, but we don't know that for sure simply because he died in a car crash and had been drinking. It's possible that Grandma is a flaming lunatic with a personality disorder, but we can't make that conclusion simply because her granddaughter rubs her the wrong way. It's possible that the granddaughter is on the autism spectrum or has ADD, but again, we simply don't know. The permutations are endless, and it will take the work of a highly competent mental health clinician–perhaps several of them–to help sort this all out. My personal hope is that the family reaches out and gets this help as soon as possible.
Oh shut up.
Grandma is a bitch who needs to grow up.
LW1-So Grandma, admits her son was drinking, then blames the slippery road instead? Perhaps son did other things that Grandma is in denial about, a possibility being yelling at grandaughter on a regular basis or some such thing?
Just saying that IF relations between daughter and father were strained for some reason, then daughter would have a hard time figuring out her feelings. And that would also account for her odd previous behavior. Mentioning this because my mother was ambivalent when her father died because he was a mean drunk at home, but never out of the house (go figure), and she was relieved at the lack of tension in the house when he died. Also glad she didn't have to listen to drunk dad's mother saying how ungrateful drunk dad's wife (her mom) was, after all (drunk) son was perfect.
Yeah, LW1 is a winner, all right.
Re Letter 1, sounds to me like the writer is projecting her own anger about losing her son onto the grandchild that is not mourning the way she (writer) thinks she should. Further, granddaughter is likely dealing with her own issues about losing her father (anger about his drinking and driving? Other issues that Granny may know nothing of?). Lastly, Granny may have contributed to the girl's problems herself over the years by favoring the grandson (evidenced by her wanting to see him but not the "morbid" granddaughter) – a not uncommon practice among grandmothers. The one who needs medication is Granny. I feel sorry for her granddaughter, who might benefit from a good therapist.
Re Letter 2, Margo failed to address something important. The writer's "professional" friend, who is not one in my eyes if she gives up a new job so quickly, is a lousy parent by modelling this behavior to her son. The writer can at least provide some stability in this boy's life. She could offer her ear if he wants to talk and provide him encouragement and other perspectives.
From her earliest days my sister was like the first letter writer's granddaughter. Turns out she inherited the antisocial personality disorder that my dad has and that runs down his side of the family. People with this disorder have little empathy, conscience or regard for others, shallow feelings and much more, and signs begin to appear at a very young age. The people in my family with this disorder have been so cold and hurtful that I've learned to completely stay away from them for my own safety after many years of trying to have even distant relationships with them. It sounds like this kid has something seriously wrong that's part of her inborn makeup, like limb length or eye color.
Oh please. There is nothing unusual actually or abnormal about this child's reactions. Grandma is an in denial loser who needs to grow up.
Lw2: I suggest your friend try contracting! Money is great, projects change and it looks perfectly normal to have a lot of movement on your resume. People are more flexible about age too.
grandma: The problem is you.
Your son was an alcoholic. It is pathetically clear due to your denial. You show some nasty nasty narcissistic traits and controlling behavior. You are not guilty feeling. You are ashamed. And your granddaughter isn't playing your game. For shame! She is not behaving the way YOU want her to. She is not performing the way YOU think she should. She is not making the story YOU want to tell look the way YOU wanted. She is not feeding YOUR needs. Now you are wanting to abuse her, perhaps like you did your son.
We know he wasn't close to you. You let it slip in your letter. It's probably no accident. But that doesn't feed into the story that you are wanting to tell, does it? So you seek public support in hurting a vulnerable child.
That's right, a child at it's most weak is the person you want us all to clap for your hurting, and to see YOU as the victim.
You're a sick woman, and a curse to your family.
The kid needs help, but not any kind of help that you think and nothing will ever be done for anyone in this family so long is everyone is still having to play along with LIES and SELFISH DELUSIONS like the ones in your letter.
Grieve honestly, you liar, or not at all. That's what your granddaughter is saying to you.
The question that should be asked is: "How old is too old not to know better?"
And it should be directed at LW1.
Granddaughter may be struggling with the 5 stages of grief but what is truly interesting in this letter is why grandmother is angry with her for it… Maybe heavy rain was the total cause of the wreck but the way she dropped the "He had been drinking…" makes me wonder what was his blood alcohol level?
Maybe Al-Anon and Alateen meetings are in order. Grandmother is in denial and granddaughter is exhibiting the classic signs of growing up with alcoholism. The negative attitude and anger are hallmarks of those of us forced to assume adult responsibilities too young. But there is healing to be had – you have to take the first step and it is terribly difficult. May God grant you peace.
Sounds to me like this girl could be on the autism spectrum. She should be seen by a specialist, either to rule this out or to receive help dealing with a world that just cannot understand people with autism.


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Welcome to the home page of the 5th Joint International Semantic Technology (JIST2015) Conference. JIST 2015 is a regional federation of Semantic Technology related conferences. The mission of JIST is to bring together researchers in Semantic Technology research community and other areas of semantic related technologies to present their innovative research results or novel applications of semantic technologies. JIST2015 will take place from November 11 to 13, 2015 in Yichang, Hubei Prov., China.
JIST 2015, under the theme "Big Data and Social Media", solicits the submission of original research papers on Semantic Web and other semantic technologies, as well as papers on applications of semantic technologies.
What's News?
The 3rd Conference on Chinese Knowledge Graph (KG2015) will be held at Nov 9-10th in Yichang, Co-located with JIST2015, now call for particiption.
Smart Data - Semantic Technology Industrial Forum in the era of Big Data (智慧数据-大数据时代的语义技术产学研合作论坛), organized by JIST2015 & YOCSEF Wuhan, now call for particiption.
Revised Version of Program Guideline is online. (Nov 09, 2015)
Call for Challenge is online. (Oct 20, 2015)
Online Registration is opened. (Oct 12, 2015)
Program at a glance is online. (Oct 7, 2015)
Call for Tutorials is published. (Oct 7, 2015)
Acceptd Research Track Papers is online. (Oct 6, 2015)
Conference Venue and Accomodation are online. (Oct 6, 2015)
Visa Information and Travel Information are online. (Oct 3, 2015)
Semantics-based Biomedical Informatics (SEMBI 2015) is online. (Sept 18, 2015)
Call for workshop proposals is published. (Sept 10, 2015)
SCI indexed journals, International Journal on Semantic Web and Information Systems (IJSWIS), Frontiers of Computer Science in China, International Journal of Web Services Research (IJWSR), have confirmed to accept best Research and In-Use Track papers of JIST2015. (August 18, 2015)
Prof. Frank van Harmelen at Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam, Dr. Ming Zhou at Microsoft Research Asia and Prof. Hong-Gee Kim at Seoul National University have confirmed as keynote speakers at JIST2015. (August 10, 2015)
Call for Poster and Demonstration Papers is published. (August 9, 2015)
Research Paper Submission deadline extension: August 26, 2015 (August 7, 2015)
Call for Papers is published. (April 1, 2015)
Important Dates
- Submissions Deadline: 23:59 (Hawaii Time), August 7, 2015 August 26, 2015
- Notification of Acceptance: September 5, 2015 September 20, 2015
- Camera-ready Deadline: September 15, 2015 September 25, 2015
- In-Use Paper Submission Deadline: September 10, 2015
- In-Use Paper Acceptance Notification: September 30, 2015
- In-Use Paper Camera-ready Due: October 8, 2015
- Poster Paper Submission Deadline: September 10, 2015
- Poster Paper Acceptance Notification: September 30, 2015
- Poster Paper Camera-ready Due: October 8, 2015
- Conference: November 11-13, 2015

subset: commoncrawl


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Provides a restful night for older children while having the look and feel of underwear. The soft, stretchable, cloth-like back sheet provides an incredibly secure and comfortable fit. Latex free.
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Art design for eBook cover
This project received 8 bids from talented freelancers with an average bid price of $166 USD.Get free quotes for a project like this
Project Budget$30 - $250 USD
Total Bids8
Project Description
eBook cover. Ancient setting, forest. A Pan character curiously viewing a scroll held in one hand. The scroll is leather, unrolled, ancient looking and is the central focus of the picture. This simple creature of the forest is trying to understand all of the arcane rules of a strange people who have passed through the forest. The Pan is not too cartoonish, more of natural fee, the goat characteristics subtle.
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Re-Draw logo as vector
This project was awarded to pinky for £45 GBP.Get free quotes for a project like this
Project BudgetN/A
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Project Description
We require someone competent with drawing using a tablet.
Please see attached logo. We want to produce the same logo but in a LOWER case. We don't want to use FONTS, it must be hand drawn. Our current designer is unable to finish this project so we need someone to finish.
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Risk Control Officer Salary
A Risk Control Officer earns an average salary of $76,864 per year.
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Job Description for Risk Control Officer
Risk control officers are specialists who implement strategies and techniques to minimize a company's losses in the fields of business, investments, and insurance. This vital role allows businesses and entire industries to maintain and increase profitability, as well as identify areas of current and future risk in order to prevent and overcome these issues.Read More...
On a daily basis, risk control officers research potential problems and their potential solutions and provide recommendations to reduce or eliminate liabilities to assets. This involves paying close attention to industry guidelines and legal and regulatory standards, as well as enacting plans that adhere to those expectations. In many positions, risk control officers also oversee other analysts and answer to supervisors within their companies.
Risk control officers work primarily in an office during traditional weekly business hours, though odd shifts may also be possible depending on the demands of their industry, the problems they encounter, and the solutions they must put into motion. While they often have home offices, they may also travel to other office locations or travel to meetings, conferences, or other events as needed.
Most in this position have a minimum of a bachelor's degree in economics, business, finance, or a related field. Advanced degrees are common, as is ongoing education in the field as standards and work environments change and technologies are updated; many risk control officers have seven or more years of experience as analysts. Strong communication skills are important in this position, as is a firm talent for analysis of data in its many forms.
Risk Control Officer Tasks
- Review bank's risk queue for limit breaches and other bank filtering processes and w
- Responsible for production and distribution of daily risk reports.
- Work with credit officers to obtain approval for further processing of at-risk transactions.
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Rated 4 out of 5
based on 2 votes.


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Rated 5 out of 5 by MsStaff from Comfort! I bought these for my 12 yr old son. He loves them! Extremely comfortable and always stylish!
Date published: 2017-02-12
Rated 5 out of 5 by Lisa929 from Super Comfy! I bought these for my 10 year old son & he absolutely loves them! He has always been a basketball sneaker kind of kid so when he asked for these I was a little hesitant. But, much to my surprise these have become his "go to" shoe! He says they are the most comfy shoe he has ever had! And with them being leather, I know they will hold up through all the playground shenanigans!!!
Date published: 2017-01-11
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Date published: 2016-12-27
Rated 5 out of 5 by TXmom24 from Great classic shoes I bought these shoes for my son for Christmas. The price was great for such a nice, classic shoe. As these will be his second pair of Sperrys, I know they will hold up well. The leather is very soft, color is just as pictured online, stitching is well done and secure. Overall, these are very nice shoes.
Date published: 2016-12-20
Rated 5 out of 5 by laura18z from great dress shoes These fit well, they're comfortable, and they've held up well. These are the second pair we've bought for him.
Date published: 2016-12-13


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|Property type
|Minimum Stay
|3 nights
When you book through the HomeAway checkout, your booking is backed by our Book with Confidence Guarantee™ offering comprehensive payment protection.Learn more
Come and enjoy this newly built tropical cottage located near the Anse Chastanet Beach and within walking distance of the historic town of Soufriere. The Treehouse II is a two story, two bedroom wood frame villa that sits high up in the trees surrounded by lush tropical foilage. The cottage can be rented as a one or two bedroom but only one renter will have sole possession of the villa and its' amenities. The upstairs bedroom contains a king-size bed, air conditioner, plenty of closet space and doors that open to the balcony which allows you to view the stars from the bed. There is a full bathroom with a large shower, vanity and tiled floors. The downstairs bedroom sits on the ground floor near the plunge pool and contains a queen size bed, air conditioner, TV/DVD, small refrigerator and a full bathroom. All towels and linens are provided for both bedrooms. The kitchen is fully equipped with modern appliances and dark wood cabinets. There is a queen-size futon in the living area as well as an entertainment center that includes cable TV/DVD, CD player and iPod dock. Louvered balcony doors allow you to view the Pitons and the Caribbean Sea from the living room. A private plunge pool is situated among the gardens and shares the space with a large sundeck and an outdoor shower. The balcony sits up high and offers spectacular views of the Pitons and the Caribbean Sea. At the Treehouse II, you can wake up to rainbows and fall asleep with the stars.
The Treehouse II is a rustic cottage that blends in with the natural surroundings and offers the opportunity of living the tropical island lifestyle in comfort and convenience while enjoying spectacular scenery.
Outstanding Piton and Caribbean views, plenty of living space with bedroom AC, pool and private amenities, private cook, a true island cottage.
The Treehouse II is a great location to spend a few days near Soifrere before taking off to explore the northern end of the island. You feel like you are right in the middle of nature with spectacular views of the Pitons. Sam was very diligent in responding to all of my emails and Charmaine took great care of us.
My wife and I stayed at Treehouse 2 for a week in October 2016. The villa was perfect for us with a beautiful view and great location away from the busy areas. Charmaine (manager/housekeeper/cook) is a delight to see everyday when checking to see if we need anything. If you want a private retreat, this is your place. Highly recommended.
From the first step in the door the Treehouse 2 took our breath away. The view is even better than it looks in photos. The property was exceptionally clean and maintained for us every day while we were out having fun by our friendly house manager Charmaine- she even took the time to bake me a birthday cake! The owner and staff were wonderful, and we would recommend this villa to anyone looking for a "home away from home" vibe. Also, we loved being able to go out and explore the island with our driver Clavie. He took us to some amazing spots, one of the best in our opinion being Boucan Restaurant at the Hotel Chocolat. We look forward to returning to St. Lucia and the Treehouse 2 again very soon!
I went to St.Lucia for the first time with my boyfriend and another couple. We stayed at the tree house 2. It is incredible. The view is breath taking! The staff is friendly, knowledgable, and always available. I will be visit again and will stay here again!!!! Highly recommend it!
This was my second stay at this property. 2010 in the Treehouse I and I could not wait to get back. The Treehouse II was awesome. My wife, 17yr old son and myself enjoyed a week in paradise. The Treehouse is for adventurous people who seek a relaxed glimpse of Caribbean life and beauty that is stunning. The dip pool is relaxing and cools the afternoons. The botanical garden grounds and birds are wonderful. The local activities and people are both interesting and relaxing. Snorkeling, rainforest hikes, volcano/botanical gardens are all wonderful. The staff is friendly and helpful for any needs. I needed a day to adjust from work life to island relaxation and after four days was wishing there was another week. I recommend the Treehouse to people who enjoy interesting places and experiences that are personal and private. I also have to say Sam(the owner) is friendly, and professional. I have made several trips throughout the Caribbean and St. Lucia in the Treehouse was by far the most enjoyable and relaxing vacation. If you are looking for that vacation that you dream of....the Treehouse awaits you.
Whatever you read or see in photos will not do this rental justice! My husband and I never felt so "at home" as we did when staying at the treehouse. Prior to our arrival, we had planned to dine out to so many beautiful restaurants with "spectacular views" and when we saw our view we had no desire to dine elsewhere! Mind you, we did eat out for lunch and one breakfast but the rest of the time, after touring, or hanging at the beach, we were ready to go back and dine in our own private retreat! Charmaine is a wonderful cook and really took care of all our needs the entire trip, she is really a sweet and kind person! The grounds were incredibly well maintained and the plunge pool was quite refreshing and also very private. Sam, the owner was very pleasant and helpful, we originally had to cancel our first booking at the last minute due to unforeseen reasons however, Sam offered to give us a full refund or offer another week that would suit us, we are so glad we picked another week to visit this beautiful island and stay at this adorable well maintained property. The only thing I would suggest, is a car rental. There is a wonderful and knowledgable driver named Claive (sorry if spelled wrong) however we found that we had so many things we wanted to see and the convinience of having our own vehicle to get to the beach or town was our best option, the roads can be intimidating and of course driving on the left just as much however, I can say I was so proud of my husband with his driving skills, by the end of the week he could have become an islander! Having the driver pick you up from the airport and bring you back is a great idea, since we decided at the last minute about a car rental, Charmaine helped us with the arrangements and our car was brought to our door! My husband and I travel with VRBO often, and we often say that we like seeing new and different places and would not go back to the same rental, however, given another opportunity to go back to St. Lucia and stay at the treehouse, absolutely! We enjoyed visiting the town of soufiere and there was a lot of activity since it was the Jazz festival weekend, there is a great bar/restaurant in town called the belle view, the volcano and gardens are wonderful attractions to visit but our favourite was driving to small remote villages and walking around taking it all in! We were so thankful for this fun adventure!
The Treehouse II is located off the Anse Chastanet Road on the way to Anse Chastanet Beach just outside the town of Soufriere. The Anse Chastanet Resort and Jade Mountain are located nearby.
|Rate Period
|Weekend Night
!BR High Season 2017
12 Dec 2016 - 15 Apr 2017
3 night minimum stay
Low Season 2017
16 Apr 2017 - 16 Dec 2017
3 night minimum stay
Checkout WWW.TREEHOUSE2STLUCIA.COM for TWO BEDROOM rates
Cooking (you provide the food) and housekeeping services are included in the rate
extra person/per night $35
A $500US deposit per week for ONE bedroom is required to reserve the property. The deposit can be paid using PAYPAL on the Treehouse II website WWW.TREEHOUSE2STLUCIA.COM Personal checks are also accepted.
A $500US deposit per week for TWO bedrooms is required to reserve the property. The deposit can be paid using PAYPAL on the Treehouse II website.
For additional availability check out VRBO #185382 or WWW.TREEHOUSESTLUCIA.COM


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Honda S2000 Recalls
RepairPal Expert Overview on June 13, 2013
The brakes may unexpectedly become harder to apply, requiring additional force on the brake pedal to slow and stop the vehicle.
RepairPal Expert Overview on June 1, 2004
The dyed coloring of the side marker lamps and side reflex reflector in the vehicle tail lamps is incorrect and does not comply with federal standards.
RepairPal Expert Overview on October 10, 2000
The seat belt retractor can deform and cause the seat belt to lock frequently. This can cause the belt to be locked in a position where it cannot be used, resulting in an unsecured occupant.
RepairPal Expert Overview on January 24, 2000
The seat belts may not retract properly with the convertible top in the down position, with the seat pushed all the way back. This can result in an occupant not being secured properly.


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Enjoy Gaming at Vegas Red With Safe and Secure Bets and Payments
Founded 13 years ago in 2002, Vegas Red Casino still remains one of the safest places to play casino games online. Gaming security is taken seriously here. All financial transactions are secure. Besides, the latest firewall and encryption technologies add an extra layer of security to all online activity at this website. Vegas Red works hard to ensure that its safety is never compromised. The casino is proud to be a bearers of GLI B.V. certification, which validates that all the games in it pay out accordingly.
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Devil's Night 2015
Southpaw 2015
Fathers and Daughters 2015
Not Cool 2014
Foxcatcher 2014
Those Who Kill 2014
The Fault in Our Stars 2014
I'm just another Man With a Thousand Dreams
Howdy, I'm "Amish" Jim Schulze and I'm a Man With a Thousand Dreams. Some might see this as a bucket list of things to do before you die, but I see it as doing things to live. I've let anxiety hold me back a lot of my life and it's time to break those chains that bind me. I have lived a good life full of adventure and happiness, don't get me wrong. On the other side of the coin there's a lot that I haven't done.
[Dream] Enter a BBQ Competition
[Place Holder Story to Follow]


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Teachers working in rural or remote Queensland state schools can access generous financial benefits, more career opportunities and assistance to move when you teach under the Remote Area Incentive Scheme (RAIS).
The Remote Area Incentives Scheme (RAIS) provides a suite of incentives to permanent and temporary teachers appointed to state schools in rural and remote Queensland communities. The incentives recognise the unique opportunities and challenges associated with working in rural and remote communities and provides additional financial benefits to teachers and their families
A teacher's eligibility for RAIS incentives and benefits is dependent upon the location of, and Transfer Rating, assigned to their school.
Teachers appointed to state schools in rural and remote communities with a Transfer Rating (TR) of TR 4, TR 5, TR 6 and TR 7 are entitled to the relevant incentives and benefits.
Teachers undertaking service in rural and remote locations with a Transfer Rating of TR 4, TR 5, TR 6 and TR 7 may be entitled to
You may also be entitled to transfer and appointment assistance and housing subsidised rental rates.
|Teachers commencing in a RAIS location at the start of a school year
|Teachers commencing at a RAIS location during the school year
|Current teachers continuing service in a RAIS location
Payroll Services Unit will request dependant information via letter and require new employee's details on the Dependant Declaration form for approval and submission via the school (Principal's signature is required).
Choose between Compensation Benefit Cash or Flight option and, if choosing Flight option, submit RAIS Air Travel Application form to Payroll Services Unit via school.
Complete a Dependant Declaration form upon commencement and submit to Payroll Services Unit via school (approval from Principal is required).
Choose between Compensation Benefit Cash or Flight option and, if choosing Flight option, submit RAIS Air Travel Application form to Payroll Services Unit via school.
Liaise with your regional office and/or Payroll Services Unit if you have any questions regarding your eligibility for RAIS payments.
Update any changes to dependant details when requested by Payroll Services Unit (twice yearly).
Visit the Remote Area Incentive Scheme (RAIS) Procedure which contains detailed policy information as well as application and declaration forms.The Remote Area Incentives Scheme Information Guide has further information, including a list of RAIS Locations and Transfer Ratings, as well as further details around eligibility criteria for benefits and payment amounts you may be entitled to receive.
Further information is also available at Make a Difference. Teach FAQs
General enquiries may be made to the Department of Education and Training regional offices below:
Darling Downs South West Queensland
Telephone: (07) 4616 3771
Central Queensland
Telephone: (07) 4842 8319
Far North Queensland
Telephone: (07) 4037 3994
North Queensland
Telephone: (07) 4758 3222
Existing teachers with inquiries regarding payments under RAIS can contact Payroll Services Unit or call 1300 367 326..
Existing or aspiring teachers with inquiries regarding the RAIS policy and eligibility criteria can email or phone (07) 3028 8198.
This page was last reviewed on 04 Apr 2016
"I think it's a good aspect of country living - when you share common interests and participate in the same community events as your students, you build lines of communication, trust and stronger working relationships."
Brad Pharaoh
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Publisher's Description+
From BDO Australia: The BDO Australia app provides clients with a way to access timely information and news relevant to their businesses. The app offers a number of publications, with the latest information and insights. When new publications become available, you can simply download them from within the app.
What's new in this version:
- Updated look and feel of library screen- Added library screen action bar- Removed outdated built-in content- Updated launch notice- Miscellaneous bugfixes
read more +


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More Videos...
94 civic coupe B18b1 15psi 11.92 @ 113mph
Ebay turbo kit on a stock b18b1 short block with a gsr tranny on 15lbs.
Real Drivers: Honda Civic Hatchback (B20-powered)
See more at http://hittingredline.com/ . Most modified vehicles undergo numerous changes over their lives, and the longer a vehicle is owned, the more pronounced those alterations become. Ian Wright's 1995 Honda Civic CX, for example, has been powered by four different engines over its life so far, each for a different reason, from the stock, 90-horsepower engine to a built GSR motor running aviation fuel, and now back to a JDM B20B powerplant. Likewise, the body has accumulated a number of genuine carbon fiber pieces, either custom-made like the fuel door or bespoke like the Viper ACR dive planes. Among the purists on certain automotive forums, my announcement of this film caused controversy over the worthiness of a Civic to be the subject of a film. But I maintain, as I have before, that a real car guy (or girl) should not brush aside the joy that can be achieved with a more mundane vehicle. The way a car drives, sounds, looks, and feels varies enormously, and while others brush aside the humble Civic, many are fun, reliable, and grin-inducing vehicles that prove you don't need RWD and big power to have a good time. Music in this piece is "High Hopes" by Zero-Project, used under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
buddy club spec II exhaust
check out my pics on http://www.honda-tech.com/showthread.php?t=2777810
B16 EG skunk 2


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Brian Banks' NFC West tour has apparently run its course for now.
The free-agent linebacker, exonerated following his wrongful imprisonment on a rape charge, did not sign with San Francisco after completing a three-day tryout with the 49ers. The same was true after Banks worked out for the Seattle Seahawks, also over three days.
Matt Barrows of the Sacramento Bee says that's no surprise. Barrows: "Banks is working his way back in football shape and will resume training in Orange County. He's now had workouts with the 49ers, Seahawks, Chargers and Chiefs. Other teams have shown interest, but with most coaches and general managers on vacation, Banks does not have any workouts lined up in the near future. Neither Jim Harbaugh nor Trent Baalke, for example, were on hand this week for Banks' 49ers tryout."
Matt Maiocco of CSNBayArea.com says 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh (on a mission trip to Peru) and general manager Trent Baalke (recently in Minnesota to complete a marathon) were not in attendance for Brian Banks' recent three-day workout. Maiocco: "Brad Seely, assistant head coach/special teams coordinator, is running the practices this week. And director of player personnel Tom Gamble is evaluating the workouts in place of Baalke."
Kevin Lynch of the San Francisco Chronicle offers thoughts on how the 49ers' quarterbacks performed this offseason.
Grant Cohn of the Santa Rosa Press-Democrat lists players the 49ers have acquired since Baalke became the 49ers' general manager. Cohn: "Baalke's acquisitions on defense and special teams have been brilliant. But how's he doing on offense? He's doing OK, but not as well. None of his additions to the offense has earned a trip to a Pro Bowl, and I wouldn't rank any of them in the top-15 players on the team."
Dave Boling of the Tacoma News Tribune thinks the Seahawks have a good shot at fielding a top-10 defense in 2012. Boling: "Four key players were in their first season as starters: Kam Chancellor, Brandon Browner, K.J. Wright and Richard Sherman. And Alan Branch was in his first season with the team. All those players are returning with a full off-season to further settle into their roles. Browner, particularly, struggled to find a balance between coverage that was physical and coverage that drew flags. We may assume that will be less a problem."
Brady Henderson of 710ESPN Seattle says Seahawks receiver Sidney Rice has put on 11 pounds of muscle in an effort to improve his durability, according to Rice. Rice: "I feel like that's the right thing to do as well so I can take the pounds, the hits across the middle and things like that, whatever I have to do for this team."
Kent Somers of the Arizona Republic says it's unclear whether Clark Haggans will face punishment from the NFL after serving a jail sentence for extreme DUI. Somers: "If the NFL does punish Haggans, the severity of the penalty depends upon Haggans' status in the NFL's substance-abuse program. According to a story in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, Haggans had a DUI in 2004. It's not known if Haggans is in the league program. That's seven years between known incidents, and players can emerge from the program in a much shorter period, provided they comply with standards."
Note: Looks like the St. Louis Rams have the morning off from Around the NFC West.


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This project received 14 bids from talented freelancers with an average bid price of $22 USD / hour.Get free quotes for a project like this
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Project Description
We're seeking a talented Freelance (remote worker) Python developer to join our team to help us to take forward our real-time and historical data mining applications. We also have some legacy PHP code that needs maintenance from time to time, so some knowledge of PHP would be highly desirable. We are looking for someone who is enthusiastic, smart and talented and to whom coding comes naturally. You will be working with complex, high availability and high scalability web applications within a quick release environment.
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Need content for a web development website that will sell basic web development services: installing open source CMS, Blogs, Ecommerce, custom development, hosting, domains etc. Approximately 10 pages with < 500 words each.
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LG GL-I302RPOL 284 L Frost Free Double Door Refrigerator Purple Orchid
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Two people were found dead Thursday after a shooting at an apartment building in Hartford City.
HARTFORD CITY -- A Hartford City man and his teenage daughter were found shot to death Thursday morning at the near-downtown apartment building where they lived.
Names of the victims were not released pending completion of autopsies Friday morning at the Northeast Indiana Forensics Center in Fort Wayne.
An officer at the slaying scene – the Hartford Square Apartments, 202 E. Chestnut St. – said the victims were a father and daughter, as did neighbors who lived in the building. At later meetings with the media, however, Police Chief Scott Mealy declined to confirm the relationship between the victims.
While acknowledging investigators were talking with "persons of interest," Mealy late Thursday afternoon denied that a suspect was in custody.
"We do not have anybody in custody or charged in this particular incident," he said.
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Mealy described the suspect as an older man with a gray ponytail and gray goatee. Scanner traffic in the immediate wake of the shootings - reported to police at 9:13 a.m. – indicated a search was on for a man fitting that description and riding a bicycle.
Schools in both Blackford County and neighboring Jay County were on lockdown after the slayings were discovered. The lockdown in Jay County was lifted about 12:30 p.m. after officers there took a "person of interest" into custody.
Officers were sent to the apartment building after receiving a "report of a possible shooting with a subject down," Mealy said.
Authorities found a man, dead of an apparent gunshot wound in the head, in the building's parking lot. A short time later, the girl, who had also been shot in the head, was found in their apartment. Both were pronounced dead at the scene.
"I can tell you that it appears our investigation is (reflecting) this is not a random act of violence," Mealy said. "This is what appears to be an isolated incident. Multiple agencies are investigating at this time, and it's leading us into other areas (and) counties."
Mealy said the decision not to release the victims' names before autopsies was made after discussions with Blackford County Prosecutor Kevin Basey's office and Blackford County Coroner Tod Waters.
He asked anyone with information on the slayings or a suspect to call Blackford County Sheriff's Office dispatchers at 765-348-0930.
The police chief said he believed the homicides were Hartford City's first since 2001.
A resident of the Hartford Square Apartments building, Krista Mills, on Thursday afternoon recalled the younger victim as "a very smart, intelligent girl."
"I didn't know the girl had been shot until after the fact," she said. "I heard a noise over there, but I thought they were moving stuff."
A few minutes later, Mills said, she received a phone call informing her that local schools were on lockdown, and then heard the scanners of police officers in an apartment hallway.
Mills said she told an officer about the noise she had heard in the victims' apartment.
Due to a 2-hour weather-related delay to the start of classes Thursday, students in Blackford County were still on their way to school when the lockdown began. Buses delivered students to the nearest school building.
Students were eventually taken to their regular buildings before the lockdown was lifted at 2:25 p.m. However, classes did not resume, and parents were allowed to pick up their children at that time.
Buses took children home at the regular dismissal time.
"Obviously this is not an ideal situation," Blackford County Schools Superintendent Scott Croner said Thursday afternoon.
Reporter Emma Kate Fittes contributed to this article.
Contact news reporter Douglas Walker at (765) 213-5851. You can also follow him on Twitter @DouglasWalkerSP.