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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24156569422213881202017-02-17T07:25:32.618-05:00Jr Deputy AccountantI have absolutely no knowledge of anything remotely like what you just describedJr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://creativecommons.org/images/public/somerights20.gifblogspot/OVWrhttps://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-1200644336920803322016-08-15T20:50:00.000-04:002016-08-15T20:51:10.921-04:00Fedhead Concerned About Low Interest Rates Suggests Everything But Raising Interest Rates As a Solution

You know, I haven't been up the Fed's butt much over the last, oh, few months or even years, but when the following statement by San Francisco Fed President John Williams happened across my Twitter feed, I couldn't help but crawl out of my hole and say something.

Perhaps it's because his comments reminded me of a now-dormant but still disgusted distaste I held for his predecessor in the before time when I was still a San Franciscan and Janet Yellen was still president of my friendly neighborhood Fed bank. Or perhaps it's because this is one of those head-scratching moments when the average knuckle-dragger like me wonders what other crazy ideas these economic geniuses come up with if this is what they're suggesting publicly.

Back to those comments. Reuters reports:

Central bankers and governments must come up with new policies to buffer their economies against persistently low interest rates that threaten to make future recessions deeper and more difficult to avoid, a top Federal Reserve official said on Monday.

Setting higher inflation targets, tying monetary policy directly to economic output, instituting government spending programs that automatically kick in during economic downturns, and boosting investment in education and research are all policies that should be considered, San Francisco Fed President John Williams said.

Bruh. The one suggestion missing from his list of things that don't include, I dunno, raising interest rates to avoid low interest rates clearly didn't even get so much as an honorable mention.

We haven't even clawed our way out of this recession (get back to me when interest rates are back in the 'normal' range and the stock market has finally detoxed off all that free money the Fed pumped into it) and we're already looking forward to the next one?

Now, I'm fully on board with governments getting their shit together and perhaps even some kind of 'bonus' system in exchange for healthy economic output but come on, what good does any of that do now?

Williams thinks the Fed's 2 percent inflation target is too low, which I'm sure might upset a bunch of grandmas eating Alpo who have seen both their savings and purchasing power get pissed off the back of a certain roof on Constitution Ave for years but it's cool they'll be dead soon anyway.

You know, maybe we could get that inflation rip roaring if we figured out how to get the massive number of labor force dropouts who gave up looking for work forever ago back into the workforce. Again, that seems too obvious to make sense, so better we focus on government spending and funding education because reasons. Yeah OK, let's go with that.

BTW, grandmas, I got a sponsored ad on FB the other day that you may be interested in.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2016/08/fedhead-concerned-about-low-interest.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-26742984719156421762016-05-16T21:32:00.000-04:002016-05-16T21:32:43.264-04:00Congressional Candidate Accidentally Facebooks His Porn Preferences, Everyone Loses Their Shit

So, you may have heard but wannabe 8th District of Virginia Congressman Mike Webb made a fatal Internet error earlier today: sharing without double-checking. Never, NOT EVER, do you take a screenshot of your desktop without checking the entirety of said desktop. Personally I wouldn't give a shit if a stray xHamster tab popped up on one of my shares but hey, I'm not running for office.

Here's the offending post from the Mike Webb for Congress Facebook page:

WAVRO DOES HUMAN RESOURCES, RIGHT?

Call it "serendipity," but around August of last year, I was still in the process of looking for a new job, as everyone certainly knows. So, when I received a telephone call from Curzon Staffing Agency in Alexandria, home of the incumbent, I was all too anxious to learn about an invitation to an interview. Having to depart work in DC for the scheduled 11 AM interview in Alexandria, I called back the number on my cell phone to confirm the location at which I was to report, but the receptionist answered. And, lo and behold, was I surprised when I arrived on time and was told by the receptionist that the party with whom I had spoken about an interview and made arrangements was not employed by that firm.

Just paranoia, right? This happens to everybody all the time. I have to admit, personally, none of this stuff ever happened to me until I decided to think about running for office in this town. Maybe I should call Matt Wavro and, as he describes, beg him to allocate party resources to help me with this. That's okay, Matt, I think we got this.

I am Mike Webb, and I am running for U.S. Congress. Honest.

He then attached a screenshot -- or rather, what appears to be a PDF of a screenshot, which somehow makes this worse.

See the upper left hand corner of his Internet Explorer (LOL) tabs? Well, it's porn. Yup, homeboy likes to get his fap on between talking shit about Matt Wavro, and who can blame him since he's unemployed so he has tons of time and Matt Wavro is so cute if you're into that whole Law & Order child abduction suspect look.

In an update on his Facebook page, it seems Mr. Webb may be -- as we in the South like to say -- a couple sandwiches short of a picnic, bless his heart. But I believe he's saying the porn was just an experiment, which would be entirely logical if he hadn't shared his experiment with the entire world:

Curious by nature, I wanted to test the suggestion that somehow, lurking out in the pornographic world there is some evil operator waiting for the one in a gazillion chance that a candidate for federal office would go to that particular website and thereby be infected with a virus that would cause his or her FEC data file to crash the FECfile application each time that it was loaded on the day of the filing deadline, as well as impact other critical campaign systems.

Yoooakay, bruh.

Here's the thing: it's only porn. We've all seen porn. Say it with me: WE HAVE ALL SEEN PORN. If you want to pretend like you haven't, either you are underage or you are a big fat fucking liar. We're so damn uptight in the U.S. we won't even let mothers feed their kids in the presence of other kids (what will the children think about that BREAST!), porn really shouldn't be that big of a deal. And it isn't.

I'm more worried about the fact that he uses Yahoo in Internet Explorer. Do you really want your grandma representing you in Congress? Next he's going to tell us he lost his life savings trying to invest in a complex Dinar exchange program with a nice young man from Nigeria.

But let the porn thing go. Make sure you're not so blinded by schadenfreude you don't forget what your own browser history looks like. That's all I'm saying. Pervs.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2016/05/congressional-candidate-accidentally.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-72515777242942751522016-05-05T22:22:00.002-04:002016-05-05T22:22:55.591-04:00Libertarians Now Slightly More Smug About Constantly Being Right All the Time: Poll

This is the moment we've been waiting for. Waiting patiently, not forcing our will on anyone, just waiting. Like quiet little mice. Quiet little mice growing tired of the cats and dogs beating the shit out each other for no reason.

This is happening, people.

Come on over to the dark side! We have cookies, drugs, and sweet sweet FREEEEEEDOM!!

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2016/05/libertarians-now-slightly-more-smug.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-61353217283153831992016-04-20T21:23:00.002-04:002016-04-20T21:23:36.790-04:00Come Get Your Fix of All Things Crowdfunding Fraud

Hiya! Long time no see. How's everyone doing? Anyone seen any new Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer memes? Economy still fucked? Yeah? Good, good.

So hey, I wanted to check in and direct you over to this fantastic new website. I may kinda sorta know the person behind it and let me tell you, she's incredible.

Gofraudme is a one-stop shop for news and views on crowdfunding fraud, scampaigns, and general GoFundMe fuckery. There's even a super cool GoFundMe fraud tracker map of just about every publicized GFM scam in the last few years. That resource may have kinda sorta taken forever to put together, so you better use it and like it.

Head over, take a look, and give a shout if you have any feedback. I will, uh, pass it along to the awesome person who put all of this together. Or something.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2016/04/come-get-your-fix-of-all-things.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-60407391477875577792016-03-23T21:30:00.000-04:002016-03-23T21:30:25.186-04:00Louisiana Cop Shop Warns Meth Users of Very Dangerous and Definitely Not Fake Ebola-Tainted Meth

When it comes to social media and cops, tools at their disposal have led to some pretty unhappy criminals in custody over the years. Most recently in my neck of the woods, Henrico cops were able to identify a robbery suspect within 12 hours of posting CCV shots of her face all over teh Internets. And yes, you read that right, it was she. And white! OMG.

A little more well-known case is that of Donald "Chip" Pugh of Ohio, who wasn't feelin' his mugshot (who ever does?) so he went ahead and sent cops a better pic.

Pugh was arrested 10 days after Lima, OH PD posted his updated, "not terrible" selfie.

Now, back to the issue at hand. Criminals aren't the only ones getting creative with social media, as evidenced by the clever bastard behind the screen at the Grayson Police Department in Grayson, LA. The minuscule town of just 525 souls must have one hell of a meth problem if this trick is even necessary:

Breaking News: Louisiana Meth Supply Possibly Contaminated With Ebola.Meth recently brought in from Texas as well as...
Posted by Grayson Police Department, Grayson, LA on Monday, March 21, 2016

For those with script-blockers or Win 3.11 OS or Carrier Pigeon 2.4, the Facebook post reads:

Breaking News: Louisiana Meth Supply Possibly Contaminated With Ebola. Meth recently brought in from Texas as well as the ingredients used to make it could be contaminated. If you have recently purchased meth in the Grayson area, please bring it to the Grayson Police Department so it can be screened with a special device. Do not use it until it has been checked for possible Ebola contamination!
Unsurprisingly, the public service announcement did not manage to entice a single concerned meth addict into the police department for a meth safety check. Boo.

Now, I'm no chemist but I've watched enough Breaking Bad to know that it's pretty likely any contaminants in meth ingredients would be obliterated in the cooking process, ignoring the fact that the ingredients and resulting product are pretty much one giant contaminant in and of themselves. But whatevs.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://email@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2016/03/louisiana-cop-shop-warns-meth-users-of.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-61234040987086168192016-03-20T20:37:00.000-04:002016-03-20T20:37:15.491-04:00So Just When Was America Great, Again?

I'm making a promise here and now: I will not spend the next several months wasting my breath on Trumpisms or the election at all really because as a libertarian I don't have a dog in this fight anyway. Plus it's stupid, stupider than elections before it that were pretty stupid. But I digress. Let's talk about America.

Rather, let's talk about the phrase in question: Make America Great Again

I am of the belief, as a born and raised American citizen, that despite its numerous issues and problems, America is pretty great. In fact, I identify with America in that respect -- like my beloved country, I too am kind of fucked up sometimes and don't always make the best choices but at the end of the day, I am pretty amazing. I'm kind of an asshole but I mean well, and in that way me and America are 100% kin.

I'm what you'd call a new-ish American in that my people only found their way here in the last 100 or so years. None of us came over on the Mayflower, nor owned slaves or put their names on buildings that have stood on street corners in Manhattan since the 1800s. I could be wrong about that and I'm sure a relative who hate-reads JDA will email me later to tell me just how wrong I am but as far as I know, we're somewhat late adopters of this whole America thing. Still, I'm glad we got here and I'm pretty into being an American. It's pretty rad. I'm all about doing my own thing; I'd surely be dead by now if I had been born in, say, Syria. So yay fate, good lookin out.

That said, I don't entirely grasp what greatness we would get back to should certain word-vomiting hot air factories somehow become president of the United States.

I am reminded every day when I hike along the James River in scenic Richmond, VA which I currently call home just how ungreat America can be. The river walk I take to the grocery store has markers for the Richmond Slave Trail all along the way -- a reminder that human beings were once bought and sold on the very streets I now trot along in workout gear on my way to get craft beer and frozen pizza. My neighborhood held the port that made Richmond the largest source of African slaves on the east coast from 1830 to 1860; it's now a growing, trendy riverside hive of loft apartments and art galleries.

I don't want to see America made "great" like that again. I'm ashamed that kind of ungreatness is part of my history as an American even if my people had no part in it.

Obviously no one wants to return to slavery days. We have offshore operations in China to handle that for us. So what else is great about America?

To me, it's that little girls like I once was can still tell our Montessori school teachers "I'm gonna be whatever I want to be" when we're asked -- at age 3 -- what we want to be when we grow up. I mean seriously, who the hell asks a 3-year-old what they want to be when they grow up and expects a serious response? According to my mother, may she rest, I was the only one who didn't say fireman or nurse or policeman. I said whatever I want to be and to me, that right there is the American spirit. That a 3 year old believes she can and will be whatever she wants to be in a long-distant future she can't possibly imagine when she grows up. I wish I could go back in time just to give that little girl a big high five, as she was more right than she could ever possibly know at that young age.

That would have been about 1984 which probably wasn't that good of a year for any of you who remember it. Thankfully I don't, only the parts my mom repeated back to me.

I have brief flashes of the 80s. I remember my single mom working her ass off to provide for us, with a little help from social services which served as a safety net. I remember powdered milk and weird cans of government food that lacked any graphic design integrity whatsoever but who cares, we ate that day. I remember when Challenger blew up but mostly I remember seeing it blow up again on Punky Brewster. I remember Hands Across America and being happy it got us out of class for an hour or two as we lined up outside of our inner city Milwaukee elementary school. I remember weird ass Slim Goodbody with his creepy fro telling us to be active and I remember Nancy Reagan, may she rest, telling us all to Just Say No which of course led to an entire generation of drug users.

And then I remember the Internet. The first time we fired up our brand new Windows 3.11 computer in 1994 that I think my mom paid $1500 for (in 1994 money and on Best Buy credit, natch), it was like the world had suddenly opened up. As an angry, too-smart kid from Wisconsin, it was incredible to know I now had the entire world right before me. Up until then, I'd hide in the local library and read Hume while lamenting the fact that I was just an angry, too-smart kid from Wisconsin.

Is that the great America we want to get back to? Kids like me stuck between Gen X and a hard place trying to find our way in the world on the Internet while our idol Kurt Cobain was finding his way out via shotgun to his head? Ugh, no thanks.

Is it the 50s ideal my grandmother subscribed to? Because that wasn't so great either as far as I can tell. Did any of you watch Mad Men FFS? The 50s and everything that came after kinda sucked. Though I really dig their idea of "the future," the fruits of which I am still fucking waiting for *coughcough* flying cars.

The thing is, all this talk of getting back to some mystical place we never actually were is ignoring just how far we've come. Again, I relate to America in this way. America used to be kind of shitty and oppressive but over the years, it has matured and come into its own.

I like the America that allows gays to marry. I like the America that is embracing free speech in ways it never thought it would. I like the America that extends me the right to protest the Fed with my kid and then take him out for ice cream after while giving him a lesson in monetary policy by saying we can get ice cream but the Fed is going to take a cut because they're printing our money so we can only afford a $2 ice cream even though we have $4 as the Fed took the rest so our bank could loan out money on the money actually in our account.

I kind of like America how it is. I get it, we have some major issues. But how exactly would we even start to make it great "again"?

When exactly was it great? Please tell me. I'm dying to know. It was good. It always has been. But when the fuck was it great?

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2016/03/so-just-when-was-america-great-again.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-38575570517491643722016-03-18T21:19:00.000-04:002016-03-18T21:19:19.033-04:00No Donald Trump Is Not a Nazi and You're An Asshole for Saying So

OK. Allow me to preface this by saying I think Donald Trump is a toolbag. But seriously, stop with the Nazi references.

I'm just going to say it. Nazi is the new faggot. Nazi is the new nigger. Yes I said it. Nazi is what you call someone who doesn't agree with you, because what's worse than a Nazi? Nothing. STOP IT.

Mike Godwin wrote in WaPo late last year:

My Facebook timeline and Twitter feed have been blowing up lately. And whenever that happens, it's almost always because someone's making comparisons to Hitler or Nazis or the Holocaust somewhere. Sure enough, as Trump pontificates about immigrants or ethnic or religious minorities, with scarcely less subtlety than certain early 20th-century political aspirants in Europe did, people on the Internet feel compelled to ask me what I think about it.

Why? Simple: Because 25 years ago, when the Internet was still a pup, I came up with Godwin's Law. In its original form, Godwin's Law goes like this: "As an online discussion continues, the probability of a reference or comparison to Hitler or Nazis approaches 1."

This guy is an ass. Must be a Nazi! Do you people not watch MSNBC Lockup? There are some serious legit Nazis on that show and some of them are even endearing what the actual shit but OMG.

Do you assholes even know what a Nazi is? Have you ever met one? I have, and the funny thing is they aren't terribly awful people except for the whole white supremacy thing plus they generally have felonies so they can't vote but I digress.

Will you just stop with the Nazi references? Nazis = bad. Trump = bad. That doesn't mean they are the same thing. That's like me saying cat shit = bad. Nazis = bad. Therefore my cat shitting on my floor = Nazis. My cat just shit in my bathtub because he's an asshole so therefore Nazi? Some guy looked at me funny earlier, he must be a Nazi. RuPaul eliminated Kandy Ho from Season 7 of RuPaul's Drag Race before I wanted so therefore RuPaul must be a Nazi!

NAZI NAZI NAZI! Seriously. Stop. You are minimizing what generations before us actually lived through, a truly horrific reality involving dickheads way worse than Trump. Are you people really that stupid? Actual people died. Has Trump killed anyone? Pretty sure no.

Jesus H Christ, get it together. You're disrespecting the bad ass WWII survivors who came before us by trying to pretend like some dick on Twitter is as bad as Josef Mengele sticking your twin with viruses while you rot away in a concentration camp. FOR REAL, people died FFS. As bad as Trump is, as far as I know he hasn't experimented on twins or gassed Jews in ovens. Stop.

And yes I said it. Someone had to. Is that what this election is coming to? If so, count me out.

Trump is not a Nazi. He is a dick and there is a difference. Get your shit together. This is all I am going to say about it. I just want this to be over.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2016/03/no-donald-trump-is-not-nazi-and-youre.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-86227238794793340352016-03-16T22:08:00.000-04:002016-03-16T22:15:06.018-04:00The Fed is Pulling Out Slowly and That Should Turn You On, Or Not

OK, first of all I need to apologize. I insisted the Fed wouldn't pull out from ZIRP until not a day before my 60th birthday in the year 2040 and obviously that didn't happen. Yay FOMC, you found some balls!

That said, I don't think anyone should be surprised by today's announcement. This pulling out isn't a big grand pulling out, it's more like a slow, slow, slow, super slow pulling out. And that is definitely the way to go given that these fools have no idea WTF is going to happen once they pull out for real.

You've all read the announcement by now but let's revisit anyway:

Information received since the Federal Open Market Committee met in January suggests that economic activity has been expanding at a moderate pace despite the global economic and financial developments of recent months. Household spending has been increasing at a moderate rate, and the housing sector has improved further; however, business fixed investment and net exports have been soft. A range of recent indicators, including strong job gains, points to additional strengthening of the labor market. Inflation picked up in recent months; however, it continued to run below the Committee's 2 percent longer-run objective, partly reflecting declines in energy prices and in prices of non-energy imports. Market-based measures of inflation compensation remain low; survey-based measures of longer-term inflation expectations are little changed, on balance, in recent months.

Consistent with its statutory mandate, the Committee seeks to foster maximum employment and price stability. The Committee currently expects that, with gradual adjustments in the stance of monetary policy, economic activity will expand at a moderate pace and labor market indicators will continue to strengthen. However, global economic and financial developments continue to pose risks. Inflation is expected to remain low in the near term, in part because of earlier declines in energy prices, but to rise to 2 percent over the medium term as the transitory effects of declines in energy and import prices dissipate and the labor market strengthens further. The Committee continues to monitor inflation developments closely.

Against this backdrop, the Committee decided to maintain the target range for the federal funds rate at 1/4 to 1/2 percent. The stance of monetary policy remains accommodative, thereby supporting further improvement in labor market conditions and a return to 2 percent inflation.

OK seriously not even being a smug asshole here, I'm good with this. Take it slow, baby. Many of us expected absolutely nothing before 2075 so really, any move is better than the Fed sitting there like a limp noodle while the economy blows a load on its ass.

The 2 percent inflation target is what matters here. The Fed has clearly tried every trick in its book over the last several years to fire that baby up, and inflation remains a frigid lover. Poor Fed. Here it is flouncing around, making romantic dinners and scheduling date nights but that damn inflation just doesn't give a shit.

From Business Insider:

On why the Fed lowered its rate-hike expectations, Yellen said the committee felt that achieving its desired economic outcomes would require a lower path of interest rates than what it saw in December.

She said the Fed could overshoot or undershoot on its 2% inflation target, and its tolerance for doing so in either direction is equal. She noted the divergence between survey-based measures of inflation (which have been low) and market-based expectations (which have been on the high side.)

Overshoot? Girl, please. Y'all haven't overshot anything since 2006 when Bernanke said housing prices couldn't possibly fall. Don't get ahead of yourselves now.

Personally, I'm down with the Fed taking it slow. Slow like a slow jam from the 90s. That slow. With some Cool Water and those fancy light switches that adjust yaknowwhatimsayin.

YASSS GIRL.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://email@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2016/03/the-fed-is-pulling-out-slowly-and-that.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-30678542690601446712015-08-25T19:35:00.001-04:002015-08-25T19:35:13.400-04:00So, Just One Dude at the Federal Reserve Board Was Looking for Tail on Ashley Madison

Surely you've heard of the Ashley Madison hack, I don't need to catch you up.

When I stumbled across the dump of .gov addresses registered on the site, I naturally did a quick search for a few favorite agencies. The IRS appears more than once, as does the Treasury, but the one I was really interested in was the Federal Reserve Board. Not to be confused with Federal Reserve banks, which don't appear in .gov dumps as they are .org because there's this really complicated, quasi-governmental thing going on that we don't need to get into here.

Only one frb.gov address appears in the Ashley Madison data. Just one. One poor bastard stupid enough to use his work email:

Owen Lennon.

According to LinkedIn, he was an Analyst at the Board for 17 years until he left for the Federal Housing Finance Agency in 2012.

I have to say, I'm impressed by the lack of Board employees in the hacked data (excepting this dude, of course). Sure, a small part of me hoped to find Ben Bernanke trolling for ass among all that data but we all know he and so many of his Fed colleagues are smarter than that. Or at least used non-work emails. I mean come on, dude.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/08/so-just-one-dude-at-federal-reserve.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-39357020900890865412015-07-07T12:43:00.002-04:002015-07-07T12:43:32.500-04:00IMF Tells the Fed to Hold Off on The Interest Rate Hike That Was Never Going to Happen

Just in case the economic masterminds over at the Fed needed another reason to continue dragging their heels on an interest rate hike, the far more insidious economic masterminds at the IMF have kindly requested the Fed hold off just a little longer.

MarketWatch:

Hiking interest rates too soon could stall the U.S. economy, the International Monetary Fund said Tuesday, embellishing a prior call for the Federal Reserve to hold steady until early next year.

The Fed should wait to move until it sees "clear signs of wage and price inflation," the IMF said, which is "benign" at the moment. The IMF comments came from its annual report on the U.S. economy and an ensuing press conference.

 "We feel there is space for them to wait," said Nigel Chalk, the IMF's U.S. mission chief, noting that inflation is far from the Fed's 2% annual rate target. As measured by the personal consumption expenditure price index, the annual growth in inflation was just 0.2% in May.

The market has its money (no pun) on a rate hike in December of this year, which just goes to show how clueless the market can be.

Once again, we're back to the challenge of heating up the economy without setting that bitch on fire and burning it to the ground. What a conundrum for our friends at the Fed!

From the IMF:

Inflation pressures remain muted. In May headline and core personal consumption expenditure (PCE) inflation declined to 0.2 and 1.2 percent year on year, respectively. Long-term unemployment and high levels of part-time work both point to remaining employment slack, and wage indicators on the whole have shown only tepid growth. When combined with the dollar appreciation and cheaper energy costs, inflation is expected to rise slowly staring later in the year, reaching the Federal Reserve's 2 percent medium-term objective by mid 2017.
This is the second time in as many months that the IMF has warned the Fed to cool it on a possible rate hike, which seems alarmist considering the Fed's inaction thus far. And by "thus far" I mean "for the last 7 fucking years."

Calm your tits, IMF, it's not happening this year.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/07/imf-tells-fed-to-hold-off-on-interest.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-85762244830069986472015-07-03T17:58:00.000-04:002015-07-03T17:58:39.634-04:00Has Anyone Seen the FDIC's Chief Information Officer? He's Missing

Last month, the FDIC put Chief Information Officer Barry West -- who only took the position in November of the year previous -- on leave. As it turns out, he's still MIA.

The Business of Federal Technology (FCW) reports:

Nearly a month after FCW reported that Barry West was not in the office on June 4, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation's CIO was still missing from duty.

 FDIC spokeswoman Barbara Hagenbaugh confirmed that West had not returned to work as of July 1, and it remains unclear exactly when and why he first went on leave.

 Multiple sources in government and industry have told FCW that West is facing an investigation over alleged misconduct in a previous government position. West served as CIO at the National Weather Service, FEMA and the Commerce Department between 2002 and 2007 before leaving federal service on Jan. 1, 2008.

Oh Barry, where are you? Just let us know you're OK dude. Are you at least microchipped so in case if someone finds you running around DC circles as a stray they can scan you and find your way home?

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://email@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/07/has-anyone-seen-fdics-chief-information.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-43713679233166563252015-07-02T19:43:00.000-04:002015-07-02T19:43:04.294-04:00TSA Spokesperson Tweets Passenger's Totally Legal Cash-Filled Bag Because Reasons

When traveling within the domestic United States, I expect my stuff to get rifled through by the TSA. I am prepared for a young TSO to pull out my adult novelties and whip them in the air asking "what is this?!" and I'm prepared for additional screening when below the neck piercings set off certain "what exactly is that you're packing ma'am" alarms.

What I don't expect is for a TSA spokesperson -- whose salary is paid by the very people she so easily mocks via tweet -- to put my shit all over blast on Twitter.

Her bio reads "TSA Public Affairs spokesperson Lisa Farbstein shares transportation security information and tidbits," which I guess includes the private financial situation of any air traveler unfortunate enough to end up on the wrong side of TSA procedures.

If you had $75,000, is this how you'd transport it? Just asking! TSA @ #RIC spotted this traveler's preferred method. pic.twitter.com/lriNbivmsT
— TSAmedia_LisaF (@TSAmedia_LisaF) June 30, 2015
 There is absolutely nothing illegal about carrying around $75,000 in cash in an airport as long as you are flying domestically. Nothing. Not one thing. Sure, maybe it is sketchy but so is packing a vibrator next to your laptop, what business is that of the TSA's?

According to the Washington Post, Farbstein said "the carry-on bag of the passenger alarmed because of the large unknown bulk in his carry-on bag. When TSA officers opened the bag to determine what had caused the alarm, the money was sitting inside. Quite unusual. TSA alerted the airport police, who were investigating."

OK. That doesn't explain why you thought it was within your jurisdiction to tweet it out to the entire world, lady.

Now, it's worth noting the cash was seized by an unnamed federal agency, though Richmond International spokesperson Troy Bell told WaPo "I don't believe the person was issued a summons or a citation."

Word to the wise: it might be legal to carry that much cash into the airport but unless you want TSA blasting your business on Twitter and then calling in the authorities to steal it from you, you should probably leave that kind of dough at home.

Thank you, TSA, for your continued diligence in keeping me safe. Can you imagine if that $75,000 had made it onto the plane? Scary.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/07/tsa-spokesperson-tweets-passengers.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-62799446275969814002015-06-28T20:22:00.000-04:002015-06-28T20:22:01.360-04:00Whoever Wrote This Bloomberg Headline Is Confused on What "Minority" Means

LOL

So what you're saying is, the minority is now the majority, right? Therefore your headline is shit. Just say "non-white" if that's what you want to say, FFS.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/06/whoever-wrote-this-bloomberg-headline.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-12116170513561863452015-06-26T18:11:00.000-04:002015-06-26T18:11:05.970-04:00Yay for Gay!

Good job, Supreme Court.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://email@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/06/yay-for-gay.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-12921224975562817612015-06-25T20:52:00.001-04:002015-06-25T20:52:54.341-04:00Economy Not Fixed Enough For You? A Little Plague Will Fix That

Is the economy not fixed enough for your taste? Still feeling a little down about low or negative interest rates, global political chaos, lack of opportunity, falling purchasing power and overall economic malaise? Fear not, there's an easy solution to that: plague.

Forgive me, but the link comes from my favorite guilty pleasure, the Daily Mail:

It was the devastating pandemic that wiped out half of medieval Britain's population.

But the Black Death also had a surprising, and far more cheery, side-effect on our culture. It inadvertently gave rise to the birth of the English pub as we know it today, according to Robert Tombs, professor of history at Cambridge University.

He told an audience at the Chalke Valley History Festival, sponsored by the Daily Mail, how the Black Death, or bubonic plague, which reached this country in 1348 and killed millions, was followed by a period of higher wages and a boom in the brewing industry as British resilience shone through.

So you see, all we need is for half of the population to die off and VOILA, all our problems are solved. This would also eliminate a ton of debt, as there's no possible way for anyone to pay their student loans or credit cards if they've collapsed in a pile of boils and dead. So, there's that added benefit.

'The unparalleled trauma left surprisingly few visible traces,' he said. 'Subjected to unimaginable horror, people carried on, and so the disaster was survived.

This resilience even created the opportunity for greater freedom and prosperity.' Wages rose and prices fell, and the purchasing power of working people hit a new high.

Real incomes shot up by 250 per cent between 1300 and 1450, he said, and reached a level by 1500 that would not be permanently exceeded until the 1880s.

250%? Can you even imagine it? We as modern, toilet-flushing, plague-free Americans need $470.90 to purchase the same item that cost $20 in 1915.

Sure, things were way different back in 1300. And 1450. And 1500. And the 1880s. But you get the point.

Maybe all we need to dig our way out of this economic hole we're in isn't for the Fed to implode the economy by growing a pair and pulling out of unprecedented economic life support but plague, rats and all. Big, big rats. And crumbling infrastructure that barely supports sanitation and public health. Oh wait, we have that last one. So yeah, just rats.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://email@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/06/economy-not-fixed-enough-for-you-little.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-52941528115206460652015-06-22T19:54:00.000-04:002015-06-22T19:58:59.862-04:00Forgive Me For Making Sense But the Confederate Flag Isn't Why Racism is a Problem in America

So, some nutjob gunned down 9 churchgoers in South Carolina the other day as I'm sure most of you heard. That's tragic. What's more tragic is that the focus is now on pulling down Confederate flags instead of addressing the fact that 9 people fucking died. Truth is, the fucker would have snapped with or without a flag, so why the hell is everyone so fixated on the damn flag?

Here's the thing -- you know what a flag is? A piece of fabric, strung together in some kind of recognizable pattern. Like the very dollar bills you have in your wallet now worth some arbitrary amount simply because we all are under the collective delusion that a piece of paper (or cotton/linen mix as is the case in the good ole US of A) with numbers on it is "worth" the numbers printed on its face.

Internet vigilantes (sometimes confused with "activists" or "people who actually do something when they aren't attaching to the news item of the day") are, understandably, taking a strong position on this whole flag thing, as Gizmodo reports:

Widespread anger that the Confederate flag still flew in South Carolina's state capital, Columbia, reached a boiling point after US and South Carolina state flags were lowered to half-mast in the wake of the killings. But not the Confederate flag, which is padlocked into place.

While the growing movement began on social media, it was galvanized by a searing article in The Atlantic by Te-Nehisi Coates, "Take Down the Confederate Flag—Now," that has since been shared more than 300,000 times on Facebook. Coates wrote:

The Confederate flag's defenders often claim it represents "heritage not hate." I agree—the heritage of White Supremacy was not so much birthed by hate as by the impulse toward plunder. Dylann Roof plundered nine different bodies last night, plundered nine different families of an original member, plundered nine different communities of a singular member. An entire people are poorer for his action. The flag that Roof embraced, which many South Carolinians embrace, does not stand in opposition to this act—it endorses it.

What's sad to me is that it takes some nut kid killing 9 people to get a bunch of Internet warriors worked into a lather about a flag. As if, somehow, the flag made the kid do it. Did the flag give him a gun? Did it breed him, "nurture" him, and tell him to go into that church that day and kill those people? Had the flag never existed, would he have done it in the first place? Those questions are all rhetorical. Without the Confederate flag, he would have likely still grown up to be a sick racist, and would have still killed those poor innocent people in that church that day. So why are so many stuck on that flag?

This country has an awful history. I walk along memorials marked "Richmond Slave Trail" every day when I'm working out. Slave Trail! Like hey, either we bury that shit like it never existed or, you know, we put some markers in the sidewalk and acknowledge it -- whatever we do, the fact remains that it happened and we should be ashamed of it.

Some could argue our own American flag -- the one our servicemembers fight for, the one we hold in such high regard, the one that stands for everything we believe in like freedom and opportunity and fuck yeah America -- stands for racism. Because what did we do to the very people who inhabited our great land before we got here? Oh right.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think the Confederate flag should fly over any state capital any more than I think my panties should fly up a state capital flagpole. But this is America, and one thing we have is the freedom to be who we are, even if who we are is a racist piece of shit, as long as it doesn't infringe on someone else's right to live their life.

If a fellow American wants to fly a giant Confederate flag off the back of their jacked up Ford F150, what do I care? I'm sorry you have a small penis and are obsessed with a war the South lost long before you were born but whatever, do what you want as long as you don't hurt people.

Are we going to let one pathetic, broken, twisted person take away what makes this country great? Are we really that petty, that misguided, that divided as a country to put all our focus on a piece of fabric rather than what broke this sick fuck in the first place?

It's time to get real, America. Either you want freedom or you don't. Freedom includes the right to be a racist piece of shit (as long as you don't infringe on anyone else's right to exist, also be racist, etc) and the flag you're so upset about falls under that. As John Oliver says, it's just an easy way to tell if you're a racist asshole. Stop focusing on the damn flag and look around.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://email@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/06/forgive-me-for-making-sense-but.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-36043062235607507652015-06-18T02:36:00.001-04:002015-06-18T02:36:24.183-04:00The Fed Affirms Its Commitment to Being a Punk Ass Little Bitch

You have to give the easy money whores some credit (haha credit, get it?!), at least they are committed to their punk ass bitchness. From the FOMC statement released yesterday:

 To support continued progress toward maximum employment and price stability, the Committee today reaffirmed its view that the current 0 to 1/4 percent target range for the federal funds rate remains appropriate. In determining how long to maintain this target range, the Committee will assess progress--both realized and expected--toward its objectives of maximum employment and 2 percent inflation. This assessment will take into account a wide range of information, including measures of labor market conditions, indicators of inflation pressures and inflation expectations, and readings on financial and international developments. The Committee anticipates that it will be appropriate to raise the target range for the federal funds rate when it has seen further improvement in the labor market and is reasonably confident that inflation will move back to its 2 percent objective over the medium term.

 The Committee is maintaining its existing policy of reinvesting principal payments from its holdings of agency debt and agency mortgage-backed securities in agency mortgage-backed securities and of rolling over maturing Treasury securities at auction. This policy, by keeping the Committee's holdings of longer-term securities at sizable levels, should help maintain accommodative financial conditions.

No worries, y'all, we can wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/06/the-fed-affirms-its-commitment-to-being.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-4205174011052524532015-06-14T12:28:00.000-04:002015-06-14T12:28:39.068-04:00Now Billionaires Can Rot Away in a Luxury Underground Vault When Doomsday Comes

Those of you who have enjoyed the Fallout franchise as I have are likely going to think the same thing I did when I heard about the Vivos Europa One -- a 76 acre, nuclear-proof, underground compound reserved for a handpicked group of "lucky" filthy rich folks.

Hmm, where have I seen an idea like this before? OH RIGHT.

Now, if we learned anything from Fallout, it's that underground micro societies in a post-apocalyptic wasteland are a terrible idea. You're better off fighting your way through mutated ants and dirty drug-fueled punks than rotting away in a "secure" vault.

But some of us are used to luxury and therefore will demand such in the event of global anarchy, widespread bioterrorism attacks, or even collision with the mysterious and probably unlikely Planet X. That's where Vivos comes in.

Forget dingy common rooms and rusty toilets like we see in Fallout, Vivos Europa One is the real deal.

Who doesn't want to relax and catch some fluorescent rays poolside? You won't even realize the world is going to shit above you!

Vivos already has a "budget" bunker in Indiana that boasts "tasteful" furnishings, geothermal heating and cooling, full size showers and bathrooms, ATVs, and a theater. It claims the bunker is set up for a year of autonomous survival -- after that, someone's going to have to pop a Rad-X and head out into the heat if you know what I'm saying.

If being stuck with a bunch of strangers in a vault doesn't sound like your idea of a good post-apocalyptic party, Vivos can also supply you with your own personal shelter in a box, which you can DIY in a couple weekends on your own property! Boy, would I love to see that on Pinterest Fail.

Here's a little more on the new bunker in Germany from Forbes:

Additionally, the shelter will include a collection of zoological species, an archive for the most precious artifacts and treasures of the world, a DNA Vault to preserve and protect the genomes of millions of donors, and a modern day "Hall of Records", to autonomously survive virtually any catastrophe or disaster for several years. Vivos will retrofit, equip, furnish, stock, supply and convert this complex into a state-of-the-art, contemporary complex.

Private improvements will include all of the typical amenities enjoyed by the floating counterparts, including pools, theaters, gyms, a kitchen, bar, bedrooms and deluxe bathrooms. The possibilities are limited only by each member's personal desire.

Vivos will provide each living quarters with power lines, plumbing for water and sewage, HVAC systems, communications lines, security systems, internet and closed circuit systems.

Internet, huh? Well good, I'm sure there are plenty of people -- myself included -- who will want to live tweet the apocalypse. I'd also be highly interested in checking the Daily Mail to see what their editors have to say about apocalypse fashion and celebrity mutants.

So, I see only a few small problems with this luxury bunker.

First, it's really only designed to support inhabitants for 6 months to a year. Then what?

Second, support staff. You really don't expect these billionaires to serve themselves at the bar, do you? Just how long do you think the plebeians will serve their masters in a true disaster scenario?

Third, ongoing costs. Vivos expects inhabitants to pay maintenance costs in the event of bunker activation. What are they going to pay with? Are billionaires going to bring truckloads of cash with them? If so, that'll be helpful when the bunker runs out of toilet paper I suppose.

If spending the end of days locked in a prison isn't your cup of tea, you can send your DNA to the vault instead. Yes, for just the cost of a $30 DNA "card," your genetic data can live on post-apocalypse even if you don't. Now, we don't really have any use for it currently but just like cryogenically frozen heads, there may be a use for it in the future. Think about the future!

Good luck with that, Vivos.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/06/now-billionaires-can-rot-away-in-luxury.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-8202341255684387982015-06-10T14:40:00.001-04:002015-06-10T14:40:19.689-04:00Prove What a Dried Up Sell Out You Are With These New Sex Pistols Credit Cards

Everyone gets old and hangs up their Dr. Martens eventually. There's no shame in that. In fact, one might argue there's more shame in clinging desperately to those Docs as though you're still 15 when you're 55. But hey, do what you want. I still have the same nose piercing I had in 1994, although I can't say I run around squeezing grapefruits at Kroger looking like Jane Child in yoga pants.

 Wait, why am I not squeezing grapefruits at Kroger looking exactly like this?!

Anyway, yeah, moving on. Growing up. Trading our youthful ideals for the reality of grown-up life. Why the bleedingest heartest liberal youth is the most likely to register as a Republican 40 years later once he's got a business and a mortgage and 2.5 kids and a dog with a heart condition.

For the sell-out punk in your life who has traded safety pins for PIN numbers, now Virgin Money brings us Sex Pistols branded credit cards. Never mind the bollocks, how about those interest rates?

Thirty eight years after the Sex Pistols first signed for Virgin Records, Virgin Money has announced an exclusive range of Sex Pistols credit cards, available from 9 June 2015.

Three options are available, including an eye-catching vertical design, with new technology allowing all customer personalisation (name, card number, expiry date) to be moved to the back of the card preserving the integrity of the Sex Pistols artwork and allowing it to be reproduced in full, as shown below.
Sorry not sorry but the integrity of the iconic artwork was lost whenever a bunch of middle-aged capitalist pigs stuffed into pinstripe suit casings like big sell-out sausages came up with this idea.

What's more punk rock than an APR of 18.9% on balance transfers? HUH? NOTHING.

You know, I thought 13 year old kids born after 9/11 wearing Sex Pistols t-shirts were the end of that era but no, this right here is it. Unless Virgin is planning on unveiling a Sex Pistols ETF or limited edition diabetes stocking collection.

*sigh* I'll be at Kroger desperately clinging to my youth if anyone needs me.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/06/prove-what-dried-up-sell-out-you-are.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-33926885912609183062015-06-09T22:21:00.001-04:002015-06-09T23:47:22.889-04:00Rick Santorum Ruins Small Iowa Town's Lunch With His Gay Marriage Obsession

It's understandable that Snowball's Chance in Hell candidate Rick Santorum may prefer interacting with people in real life versus, say, over the Internet where he will forever be tied to awkward bodily fluids rather than Christian conservatism.

Lucky for Rick, his 15 minutes of Internet shame for that particular Urban Dictionary entry is just frothy mixture under the bridge at this point. He's back out on the campaign trail hoping maybe, just maybe, the GOP is extreme enough to let this guy burn the party to the ground once and for all. After all, 4 million of them thought giving him the presidential nomination was an awesome idea last time around.

Fortunately enough for voting Republicans, it's not looking too promising for Rick this time around:

When just one Iowan showed up to Rick Santorum's 2 p.m. campaign stop at a restaurant here Monday, the winner of the 2012 Iowa caucuses made a quick decision: Might as well order lunch.

"I haven't eaten, actually, all day," he said to his guest, Peggy Toft, an insurance agent and chair of the county's Republican Party.

Now, to be fair, I've been to Iowa. Unless you're partying in Des Moines, you're really not going to find more than 5 or at most 6 people in any given place at any given time.

Not one to be so easily defeated, Rick assures us this is all part of the plan, you guys.

"It's not glamorous, and you're not out there raising money, but you're doing what the money is ultimately supposed to do — getting votes," said Santorum, who earlier in the day drew 10 people to a noon meeting in nearby Panora. "This is a lot more fun than being on the phone raising money."

Since I know you're curious, he ate at Darrell's Place, which boasts "The Best Tenderloin in Iowa." That would sound really homoerotic if we weren't talking about rural Iowa and a gay-fearing man like Rick Santorum. Mmm, tenderloin.

As much as I am not looking forward to this upcoming election at all, it's reassuring to know even small rural towns in Iowa aren't rallying together to hear shit they already believe about how dudes who fuck other dudes up the ass will definitely burn in hell. That didn't stop Rick from discussing gay marriage at the table anyway because, you know, that's all part of the plan.

Mmm, tenderloin.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://email@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/06/rick-sanctorum-ruins-small-iowa-towns.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-12981393084546292502015-05-02T19:32:00.000-04:002015-05-02T19:32:18.356-04:00JDA Talks Crowdfunding Fraud

There are a few things I'm truly passionate about. Federal Reserve asshattery. Cat rescue. Personal freedom and responsibility. So when most of those (except the Fed) aligned after a reporter in Philadelphia reached out to me to be a part of her story on GoFundMe fraud, I was all in.

I started the Go Fraud Me Facebook page after I encountered resistance from GoFundMe to shut down a fraudulent fundraiser started by the elementary school dropout neighbor of Bart the "Miracle" Cat, a cat in Florida who somehow miraculously rose from the dead after being buried for 5 days. Yeah no. That's no miracle, it's the same kind of abuse I see almost every single day as a cat rescuer. Nice try though. The fundraiser is still up and Bart is still in the care of the Humane Society of Tampa Bay, thankfully, while the irresponsible trash who buried him alive are now duking things out in court.

Nydia Han at 6abc in Philly asked me to be a part of her story on GFM -- the good and the bad -- and I was happy to give my $0.02 FWIW.

You can find the story below. If the embed doesn't work, it's right here.

Awkward!

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://email@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/05/jda-talks-crowdfunding-fraud.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-7565632089236505342015-04-25T21:56:00.001-04:002015-04-25T21:59:26.781-04:00KPMG's Choice of a Female CEO Only Proves How Far We Have to Go to Achieve True Gender Equality

Here we go again. I'm a little late weighing in on this -- except for a short quip on Twitter -- because, forgive me, I'm just not all up in the accounting news these days now that I've been released from my leash as Managing Editor of Going Concern.

But when I saw this, I just had to say something:

Good for KPMG! A female CEO! @KPMG_US: Lynne Doughtie will be the next Chairman & CEO of KPMG, starting July 1. http://t.co/J07AeVPj9C"
— Lisa Myers (@LisaMyers) April 21, 2015
 Why good for KPMG? Because she has a vagina? Wow, talk about sexist.

From the KPMG press release:

KPMG in the U.S. has elected Lynne Doughtie to serve as its next Chairman and Chief Executive Officer, for a five-year term starting July 1. Doughtie currently leads KPMG's Advisory business, and has distinguished herself in numerous leadership positions since launching her career in the firm's Audit practice three decades ago.

"It is an honor to have the chance to lead KPMG at such a pivotal moment, when ensuring quality and confidence in the work we do has never been more important," said Doughtie. "Our firm, our clients and the entire marketplace are looking at a future of unprecedented change and extraordinary opportunity, where 'business-as-usual' is going to mean constant innovation and transformation. I'm excited to team with our incredibly talented people, as we work closely with companies and other organizations to help them address their most complex challenges and opportunities."
So, besides the fact that she lacks a Y chromosome, she's basically a perfect fit for the good old boy team: 30 year veteran of Kool Aid drinking, over the age of 50, prepared with nonsense quotes about the work the firm does as if any of it involves anything other than making money for the firm. A shoe in, really, so her lady parts are just a bonus for the firm to get lots of pats on the back for being disruptive and innovative and super chick-friendly and stuff.

Stop it. You know we have a long way to go toward gender equality when the fact that a firm chooses a female for a leadership position is the lead on any press release. So what, she's a woman.

Don't get me wrong, we could use more women in leadership positions. But so long as their appointments come with jerky-offy congratulations over choosing women, then we haven't really progressed any. Real progress comes when we elect women not because it's the PC or trendy thing to do, but because they are the best qualified for the position and no one needs to be like "HEY GUYS LOOK AT US WE PICKED A CHICK THOUGH!"

In KPMG's defense, their press release did nothing of the sort. It highlighted her many accomplishments, not her her-ness. And we need more of that. But then we have this:

Doughtie has been recognized with numerous honors and awards throughout her career, including being named one of Consulting Magazine's "Top 25 Consultants" and "Top Women Leaders in Consulting." She was also featured in Profiles in Diversity Journal's "Women Worth Watching," and recognized in Accounting Today's "Women in Accounting."
So she ranks up there with the best consultants but her other achievements are apparently limited to being a woman in her chosen field. Awesome. Girl power. Chicks and stuff, or something. Fuck, we have further to go than I thought.

Lynne sounds like an awesome person and here's hoping she can lead KPMG through what promises to be an interesting time for not just her firm but the rest. KPMG is wise to put someone from Advisory at the helm of the ship since no one gives a fuck about Audit. Note I said "someone" not "a lady" because it needs to not be about which set of chromosomes a person was given at birth.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://email@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/04/kpmgs-choice-of-female-ceo-only-proves.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-48066739672417236182015-04-24T13:49:00.001-04:002015-04-24T13:49:55.646-04:00Why This Southern Pickle Company is Everything That's Right With American Business

So, the other day I went to dig into a brand new large jar of Mt Olive kosher dills -- a brand I buy because it's "local," founded in 1926 in North Carolina -- when I found myself on the sharp end of a broken jar and a lid that just refused to come off. It was the weirdest thing. I hit the lid several times with the blunt end of a butter knife but it still stuck tight. One last hit and when I tried to twist it, the entire jar shattered at the top, sending pickle juice and glass flying everywhere in my kitchen.

Huh, weird. Well I called the Mt Olive customer service line to report the steadfast lid not because I expected anything in return but because this might be a quality control issue and I didn't want any other pickle enthusiasts to experience the trouble I did should this be a problem with the batch.

I guess I was surprised, then, when customer service offered to send me coupons and a "gift pack," whatever that might be. Well sure, I love pickles and this whole broken glass thing wasn't about to turn me off from more of them.

Check out this pickle jar. I mean that lid wasn't coming off for ANYONE, much less my meat paws clawing at it.

I respect that lid in many ways, really. It sticks to its guns. Even when everything is falling down around it, it holds tight. In some ways, that lid is my spirit animal.

Anyway, after making sure my cats were OK once I explained how glass went flying everywhere in my kitchen where my cats eat, the Mt Olive customer service lady wanted to make this right. What's right in this case? I really wanted a pickle at that exact moment and couldn't have one for fear of ending up with glass shards as a side but don't think I didn't contemplate washing the pickles off and eating one anyway (I didn't).

Well, they sent out a damn case of pickles to me. AN ENTIRE 11 LB BOX OF PICKLE ASSORTMENT. Surely this made up for my lack of pickle at the very moment that jar shattered on me, lid still hanging tight.

Just look at it. I'm not even that big of a fan of Bread & Butter pickles yet I'm looking at those B&B slices like OMG, get in my belly. I already could live off Mt Olive's peppers alone for at least a year or two before I get some kind of weird nutrient deficiency in my joints so I think I'll give the salad peppers to my boyfriend but OMG RELISH TOO?

All this to say, I was really impressed by the way they handled my complaint, which wasn't really a complaint but more a heads up like hey, this one lid of yours was really stubborn and if others are like it, they might cut people who are less dextrous than me in their attempt to get at the delicious pickles. I didn't get cut, I cleaned up the mess just fine, and now I have this gift pack of amazing pickle offerings to grub on. I'd say all in all it worked out OK.

I'll still buy Mt Olive since they're readily available and delicious. And I appreciate, above all else, the fact that a real person with a charming southern accent picked up the phone and tried to make this right for me. Right as in PICKLES, GET IN MY BELLY. Hey, I'll take it. *nom nom nom*

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/04/why-this-southern-pickle-company-is.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-48378750908097255282015-04-18T21:09:00.001-04:002015-04-18T21:09:47.543-04:00Getting Your News by Meme Only Makes You Look Stupid, As Evidenced By This Stupid Ass Ted Cruz Meme

So a "friend" posted this other day, accompanied with a bunch of expletives about what a toolbag Ted Cruz is. While I may not find Ted Cruz to be an upstanding, awesome individual, I don't think it's fair to put words in his mouth either.

Let's see the meme:

Yeah, cool story bro but he never actually said that.

Was his talk SUPER Christ-y and a bit douchey? Sure it was. You can read the whole transcript yourself and just find me a mention of GAYS or ATHEISTS. I didn't see one. Please, by all means, correct me if I'm wrong. I can wait.

Now he did make the mistake of implying that this country is founded on GOD as in HOLY ALMIGHTY GOD OF GOD IS MY CO-PILOT JESUS FISH bumper stickers God but hey, he has to appeal to his constituency after all. Those middle America right wing Rush loving yokels love to get their God quotes from Canadian Cubans, after all.

Still, he didn't say this. He didn't say anything even close to this.

Am I the only one who thinks the upcoming election will be the worst yet? Granted, I was born in the age of Reagan so my bar is already low but holy fuck, are memes the best opponents have got? Making up fake ass quotes to get the lathered up mouthbreathers to share them as the gospel? Oh Lawd Jesus save me now.

Why do I get the feeling I'll be writing in my cat for president this go round? Let's just start the Cash Money for President campaign now, eh?

Cash, you sexy bastard #catsofDC #tuxedo #blackcat #instakitty #catsofinstagram

A photo posted by Adrienne Gonzalez (@adriennenvy) on <time datetime="2015-04-17T15:10:05+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Apr 17, 2015 at 8:10am PDT</time>

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/04/getting-your-news-by-meme-only-makes.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2415656942221388120.post-56102022459476013112015-03-30T13:17:00.000-04:002015-03-30T13:17:26.946-04:00Ben Bernanke Blogging Is the Greatest Thing I've Seen All Day

Alright, so the day isn't over yet but when I saw Ben Bernanke has started blogging, I squealed with schoolgirl joy.

Even better that the esteemed former Chief Executive Moneyfucker over at the Fed decided to defend impossibly low interest rates for his debut entry. Oh, Ben, you make it so easy. Literally.

Why are interest rates so low? Will they remain low? What are the implications for the economy of low interest rates?

 If you asked the person in the street, "Why are interest rates so low?", he or she would likely answer that the Fed is keeping them low. That's true only in a very narrow sense. The Fed does, of course, set the benchmark nominal short-term interest rate. The Fed's policies are also the primary determinant of inflation and inflation expectations over the longer term, and inflation trends affect interest rates, as the figure above shows. But what matters most for the economy is the real, or inflation-adjusted, interest rate (the market, or nominal, interest rate minus the inflation rate). The real interest rate is most relevant for capital investment decisions, for example. The Fed's ability to affect real rates of return, especially longer-term real rates, is transitory and limited. Except in the short run, real interest rates are determined by a wide range of economic factors, including prospects for economic growth—not by the Fed.

You see, children, the person in the street is an idiot. The person in the street probably has, at best, a remedial understanding of how money works. That's a feature, not a bug.

Bernanke goes on to explain, in the most complicated way possible, why the person in the street is an idiot and actually, the Fed isn't to blame for your grandma eating Alpo in her final years.

This sounds very textbook-y, but failure to understand this point has led to some confused critiques of Fed policy. When I was chairman, more than one legislator accused me and my colleagues on the Fed's policy-setting Federal Open Market Committee of "throwing seniors under the bus" (to use the words of one senator) by keeping interest rates low. The legislators were concerned about retirees living off their savings and able to obtain only very low rates of return on those savings.
In Bernanke's defense, they've thrown more than just seniors under the bus. So, there's that.

Really, it's not his fault, you guys, it's the person in the street for not understanding how this works.

A similarly confused criticism often heard is that the Fed is somehow distorting financial markets and investment decisions by keeping interest rates "artificially low." Contrary to what sometimes seems to be alleged, the Fed cannot somehow withdraw and leave interest rates to be determined by "the markets." The Fed's actions determine the money supply and thus short-term interest rates; it has no choice but to set the short-term interest rate somewhere.

Paul Krugman didn't waste any time busting out the Jergens to give Bernanke a nice handy over his blog coming out party:

It's a very clear, well-argued post; regular readers know that I've been making essentially the same arguments for years. I'd just add two points.

First, the image of the little old lady living hand to mouth off the interest on her bank account is basically a fiction. Most retired Americans depend on Social Security for the majority of their income, and have very little in interest earnings; the decline in rates has primarily hurt a small minority of very well-off seniors.

You'll note Bernanke was the one who chose to out grandma eating Alpo. So fine, maybe she's a cliche example used for dramatic effect -- but what about the countless Americans who aren't cliche dramatic examples that have actually been deeply impacted by monetary policy? Are they not real either?

Looking forward to reading what else this chucklefucker has up his sleeve. Thank you, Brookings, for giving him a platform on which to spout off this stuff.

Jr Deputy Accountanthttp://email@example.com://www.jrdeputyaccountant.com/2015/03/ben-bernanke-blogging-is-greatest-thing.html


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|Document Type:
|All Authors / Contributors:
Norman Vincent Peale; Rouben Mamoulian Collection (Library of Congress)
|OCLC Number:
|276 pages ; 21 cm
|Believe in yourself --
A peaceful mind generates power --
How to have constant energy --
Try prayer power --
How to create your own happiness --
Stop fuming and fretting --
Expect the best and get it --
I don't believe in defeat --
How to break the worry habit --
Power to solve personal problems --
How to use faith in healing --
When vitality sags, try this health formula --
Inflow of new thoughts can remake you --
Relax for easy power --
How to get people to like you --
Prescription for heartache --
How to draw upon that Higher Power.
|by Norman Vincent Peale.
WIth more than seven million copies sold, this 50th anniversary edition delivers a message about the power of faith and how positive thinking can lead to the secret of success. Read more...
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All sixteen teams for #NRL Round 1 are in!
Get them here:
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Broderick Wright has been a consistent performer in the Eels development ranks for some time, making his NRL debut against the Cowboys in 2008. Wright plays Prop/Second row and will be joining the Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks in 2010.
Broderick recently spoke to Jeremy Pinney of League Unlimited to share some of his views on the game and the finals.
How do you see yourself fitting into Cronulla in 2010?


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Lead Generation for WebSite
This project received 15 bids from talented freelancers with an average bid price of $136 USD.Get free quotes for a project like this
Project Budget$30 - $250 USD
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The Powell Principles: 24 Lessons from Colin Powell, a Lengendary Leader
€ 8,99
Besorgung - Lieferbarkeit unbestimmt
Dezember 2002
Beschreibung"The Powell Principles" details the decision-making habits, success strategies, and leadership philosophies of Secretary of State Colin Powell. Filled with insights that are as refreshingly honest as they are grittily real, this concise, no-nonsense book reveals the keys to Powell's unprecedented success, keys that include: Walk the talk Be a dis-organizer Let change lead growth Be prepared to piss people off Check your ego at the door Push the envelope Let situation dictate strategy Challenge the pros Trust those in the trenches Prepare to be lonely Colin Powell rose from the hardscrabble streets of the Bronx to become the man "Newsweek "calls ..."the most respected figure in American public life." Let "The Powell Principles "introduce you to the principles that drove him to the top and provide you with a blueprint for inspiring anyone--including yourself--to achieve extraordinary levels of professional success.
PortraitOren Harari, Ph.D., is a professor of management at the McLaren Graduate School of Business, University of San Francisco. A prominent author, speaker, and consultant, he is the author or coauthor of six previous books and has contributed to Harvard Business Review and numerous other professional publications.
Untertitel: 'Introducing the McGraw-Hill Pr'. Sprache: Englisch.
Verlag: MCGRAW HILL BOOK CO
Erscheinungsdatum: Dezember 2002
Seitenanzahl: 64 Seiten
Format: kartoniert
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Why not show our Low Price?Rotmans sets our own prices on our TV & Electronics items, however some manufacturers have restrictions on how we may display the prices of their products. Since our price is frequently lower than their suggested retail price, they may not allow us to show you our Low Price until you place the item in your shopping cart. Adding this item to your cart does not require you to purchase it & you can easily remove it from your cart should you decide not to purchase.
Get organized with this sophisticated chest of drawers. The top drawers feature a felt lining to keep delicate pieces safe, the remainder of the drawers boast bottom case dust proofing and fully stained drawer interiors . The base shows off simplistic bracket feet, and heavy top crown molding. Pair this piece with the matching storage pieces, or try something new and pair it with any style of existing bedroom furniture.
The Avington 5-Drawer Chest with Felt Lined Top Drawer from Rotmans. We proudly serve the Worcester, Boston, MA, Providence, RI, and New England area. Product availability may vary. Contact us for the most current availability on this product.
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Drawers are constructed with dovetail joinery, ensuring long-lasting strength and storage. Made up of interlocking wedge-shaped elements called pins and tails, the joint connects drawer fronts, sides, and backs, designed to withstand the daily pulling forces you apply when you open a drawer, for problem-free use. A time-tested joint that predates written history, dovetail drawers are a mark of quality furniture construction.
Drawers are outfitted with metal side drawer glides to ensure drawers open smoothly despite daily use. The full-extension glides allow the drawer to extend completely, so that you can take advantage of the drawer's space and easily access items stored at the back of the drawer. Whereas wood on wood guides may be susceptible to warping over time, metal glides provide reliable drawer operation strong enough to withstand daily activity.
You'll love the transitional style the Avington bedroom collection will bring to your home. This stylish collection features a dark cognac finish, a heavy crown molding, and satin nickel pull hardware. Not only handsome, but also functional with felt lined top drawers on each of the storage pieces and dust proof drawer bottoms to keep clothing looking new for longer. Bring home Avington and see the stunning features for yourself!
The Avington collection is a great option if you are looking for Transitional furniture in the Worcester, Boston, MA, Providence, RI, and New England area.
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Wholesale Interiors ALC3001Tan
ALC-3001 Jericho Collection Leather Mid-Century Modern Accent Chair: Tan
Learn more »
With a nod to the seemingly timeless creations of the mid-1900s, the Jericho Chair helps bring great taste and design back into your living room. This is a steel-framed mid-century accent chair with high-shine chrome finish and tightly-pulled, taut tan bonded leather straps with matching stitching. Black plastic non-marking feet are included to help prevent damage to sensitive flooring. Fully assembled. This style is also offered with black or dark brown leather (each sold separately). Available at AppliancesConnection
Features and Specifications:
- Mid-century modern accent chair
- Steel frame with chrome plating
- Tan bonded leather seat and armrest straps with matching stitching
- Fully assembled
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- Also available in black or dark brown (sold separately)
- Width: 30.75"
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- Brand:Wholesale Interiors
- SKU:ALC3001Tan
- Stock Id:243851
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- Series:Jericho
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- Width:30.75"
- Height:29"
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- Materials:Steel, chrome, tan bonded leather
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In a message dated 07/21/2004 5:42:46 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
email@example.com writes:
On a somewhat sober note, Florida's AG, who is a Democrat [and a
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Kirstie Alley
- Birthday
- Jan 12, 1951
- Birthplace
- Wichita, Kansas, USA
Versatile American actress Kirstie Alley has found success in feature films, but is still best known for her portrayal of neurotic Rebecca Howe during the latter years of the television series Cheers. Noted for her unusual beauty, thick, chestnut-colored hair, and whiskey voice, Alley studied drama in her native Kansas and then became an interior… More Bio:
Versatile American actress Kirstie Alley has found success in feature films, but is still best known for her portrayal of neurotic Rebecca Howe during the latter years of the television series Cheers. Noted for her unusual beauty, thick, chestnut-colored hair, and whiskey voice, Alley studied drama in her native Kansas and then became an interior decorator. For a while, she went through a wild and crazy phase in which she abused cocaine and hung out with bikers, but when the lifestyle got old, Alley moved to California, underwent drug rehabilitation, and became a devout Scientologist. She made her feature-film debut playing Savic, a Vulcan student of Mr. Spock in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and then played a major role in the television miniseries North and South, but she did not become a real star until she was selected to replace Shelly Long in Cheers in the late '80s. Though the role of Rebecca marked Alley as a comedienne, she is also a talented dramatic actress as she demonstrated in the 1988 outdoor thriller Shoot to Kill. In 1989, Alley had her first box-office hit with Look Who's Talking; that coupled with Cheers made her one of the most popular actresses in Hollywood and the winner of Emmys, a People's Choice award, and a Golden Globe for Look Who's Talking. With the demise of Cheers, Alley's career became more sporadic and the quality of her films uneven. In the fall of 1997, Alley starred in the NBC prime time sitcom Veronica's Closet.
Alley would appear in a handful of TV movies over the next few years, like Family Sins, While I Was Gone, Write and Wrong, and The Minister of Divine. Alley would also find her name in the news for less than glamorous reasons, as she gained a noticeable amount of weight in the early 2000's. Happy to capitalize on the press, Alley soon starred in a comedy series in 2005 called Fat Actress, in which she played a fictionalized version of herself, a la Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Alley then moved from pseudo-reality to actual reality, starring in a candid reality show about herself called Kirstie Alley's Big Life in 2010. Along the same lines, Alley competed on the reality show Dancing with the Stars the following year.
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Seven-time GRAMMY winning trio Lady Antebellum will light up national TV over the next two weeks with performances spotlighting tracks from their upcoming fourth studio album GOLDEN out May 7.
Jorma and Vanessa Kaukonen will open the doors to The Fur Peace Ranch Center for Art & Culture, Meigs County, Ohio in a grand celebration bringing the country the Psylodelic Gallery and the Psylodelic Sit-In. The event will shine a spotlight on the art and installations at the new Psylodelic Gallery and provide a prime opportunity for area representatives to echo the inspirations and goals of the psychedelic era.
The Church Of Sunday Morning Festivities at MerleFest welcomes new and returning members. While the Church only meets once a year, this single sermon will keep your mind and heart full of love for your neighbors. Inspiring a love strong enough to get you through until next year's MerleFest, if not a lifetime.
My issue with the whole trance fusion style of free-music is that it lacks a fundamental separation from what a DJ could compile in a two hour set. Only a few select bands hold the torch as progressive and risky enough to truly hold my attention.
At MerleFest, the glass, red plastic cup, coffee mug or Mason jar is always half full. Making sure the glass stays half full, the presenters of MerleFest provide music industry award winning performers as well as musicians with the skills to win the hearts of fans, generation after generation.
Memorial plans to celebrate the life of Richie Havens were announced today. This coming Monday, April 29 at City Winery New York the public is invited to gather in memory of the beloved folk icon.
A post by Richie's family on Richie's official Facebook page reads:
Austin, Texas was the final stop on Umphrey's McGee's nine-date southern run. What a great city to end the tour in as well. Stubb's BBQ is an outdoor backyard style venue in the middle of downtown.
When Sly and The Family Stone hit the scene back in the late '60s, the world – socially, culturally and politically – was in a state of upheaval. And their music perfectly evangelized the moment. Today, we stand dangerously at the edge of a similar precipice – and that message of celebratory potential and jubilant clarity is sorely needed.
Deep vibes permeate the newest EP from live bass music posse Sounduo, "Live For The Future", forthcoming April 23rd on Gravitas Recordings. Although the album focuses on nostalgic flavor from reggae, jungle, and dancehall, these genres are aptly rejuvenated with an injection of new school sub heavy sounds and a touch of glitchy zest.
Fresh off the heels of their Australian and European tour, Counting Crows and The Wallflowers, who just came off a highly successful Eric Clapton arena tour, announced their U.S. summer tour. The 22-stop tour will make its way to Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City on June 27th.
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Author Nike Campbell-Fatoki talks about live in a palace on Off The Shelf radio. She and Off The Shelf radio host, Denise Turney, talk in depth about her new book, Thread of Gold Beads. The book has gotten 23 5-star ratings at Amazon.com.
Tune in to find out what drives the main character, Amelia, in the book. Nike and Denise will also share tips on novel writing, book publishing and book marketing.
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Hotfrog INDIA provides information regarding Vigovea in Uttar Pradesh â Uttar Pradesh. Vigovea is located at A-12/13 Sector 16 Noida, Uttar Pradesh â Uttar Pradesh 201301 and provides Video services. Contact them on +91 98912 55050 or by visiting them on their website http://www.vigovea.co.in.
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3-day clinic with Steve Goucher covering all aspects of baseball including throwing, fielding, pitching, and hitting. Kids should bring their glove, baseball hat, and inside shoes/clothes. A water bottle and a snack is encouraged each day.
30-minute private baseball lessons are available immediately following our camps in July and August. Steve will work with kids on basic fundamentals while breaking down certain techniques.
Many kids might already be involved with their team and their season but we would like to present an added opportunity to work on the basic fundamentals of baseball with one of the area's best baseball instructors, Steve Goucher. This three day session focuses on fundamentals while implementing fun games for all the kids. The competition level increases as the week goes on with a variety of contests that will result in some give-a-ways. Don't miss out as space is limited!
The smell of leather is nearing and spring is in the air! Join our three day class designed to work all aspects of baseball including throwing, field, pitching, and hitting. Steve Goucher has over 15 years of experience instructing baseball at all levels.


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----- Original Message -----
To: email@example.com
Sent: Thursday, April 13, 2006 7:46
Subject: [iris-photos] AB seedling with
Pink isn't a color associated much with arilbreds. I
keep looking at this one, though, and it sure appears to have a lot of
pink. Cameo pink, but still pink. One of the ROSEMOHR X
ESTHER, THE QUEEN seedlings that have been fun to watch. Nothing up
to modern standards, but this clump has made an effective garden clump
this year nonetheless. Blousy, floppy, not enough substance but
still managed to be attractive despite the wind. And there's the
intriguing color. I don't see how it can really be pink in the sense of
those tangerine pinks, but I can't see anything of lavender or lilac in
the color. Orange maybe, but that wouldn't make sense either.
Just a curious color.Donald email@example.com
Zone 7b, USA


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Re: Accommodation in Venlo
Kasteel de Berckt is at Baarlo (across the river at Venlo).
Here are some sugeestions:
I have not found an ideal match to your preferences yet (price, distance and number of people).
Perhaps it's better to look in the city of Venlo, but prices will be at the higher side due to the Floriade flower expo and the upcoming high tourist season.
Be the first to rate this answer!Was this helpful? Quote & Answer
Re: Accommodation in Venlo
as I am Dutch, I never have to sleep in hotels here-its all so close by.
TRY these sites for hotelbookings: zoover.nl or booking.com-extend search to 15/20 kms around Venlo or Baarlo or set to price/lowest. As an alternative maybe search for holidaycamps/bungalows-there should be quite a few in that area. (google for landall greenparks).
WARNING; that RYAN airport is NOT the main DUS airport, but a former RAF airportbase at WEEZE and VERY hard to reach-by normal bus/train, from Venlo.
DO check the airport site (airport weeze niederrhein) for connections and do make sure to understand them! This trip will likely cost a lot more as the flight itself (and it just happens I booked myself on RYAN 20/25 mins ago-quite another flight though).
From EHV its easy-peasy: bus to station (just in front-tickets sold from machines at stop) then trains ev 30 mins in 40 mins direct to venlo.
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