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Live Baccarat HD
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Minor software bugs solved
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Earlier this year, BTS released a beautiful cover of ''We Don't Talk Anymore'' by the golden maknae. The group is providing an even more wonderful treat for ARMYs with cover part 2 of the same song but with Jungkook and Jimin this time.
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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61526446628586349752017-06-22T00:29:53.144-04:00Emotional Maturity - How To Overcome Bullying and Other IllsThis blog is meant for the advancement, redemption, and self actualization of those who suffer from and are susceptible to bullying. Through the Four Pillars and their progeny, we can move forward and become the men we were meant to be!David Allweisshttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-42938704889216338162017-06-18T21:30:00.001-04:002017-06-18T21:30:18.783-04:00Our FatherHey All. Hope all celebrating had a Happy Father's Day.

I know that I appreciate my dad immensely. He'd be pretty humble about it, but much of what I post in the blog is an outgrowth of the life lessons he taught me.

But even more than my appreciation of him, is my appreciation of Him: G-D the Father.

Now this isn't based on any religion in particular. It's just an understanding that there is a supernatural being who has a completely rational expectation of us to recognize and fulfill our personal responsibilities. Our Mother Lady Karma is the One who handles things we can't control, executes judgment against those who wrong us, and pardons us for our errors. G-D the Father, however, has a very different role to play.

What He does is remind us of what we CAN control, and that we'd better handle it to the best of our abilities. His message is, "I'm not going to do your job for you."  Should we get started and keep moving, He is very likely to provide assistance, and quite possibly rewards, along the way. But if we don't work for it, He won't provide it.

Our Father G-D doesn't want us to give up trying after only a few attempts. He wants us to get our hands dirty and fail again and again until there has to be some sort of success, great or small. He wants us to rise above critics and nay-sayers, disable our triggers when they are not needed, and to be as disciplined as possible in our thoughts and actions.

He knows that we'll make mistakes. Honestly, He expects them to happen. And He also expects us to keep our emotional reactions to a minimum because they'll only get in the way. Our Mother can kiss our skinned egos to make them better. But Our Father wants us to heal them ourselves, because we can!

That doesn't mean He's mean or unforgiving. If He were, He'd be convincing us all to jump off bridges and end it all. Instead, He wants us to live, and live right. He wants us to understand that every new day is another chance to get it right, and not to eternally punish ourselves for when we get it wrong. He wants us to own The Four Pillars, and own them hard!

So, Friends & Neighbors, today I hope you told your fathers how much you appreciate them. And every day going forward, I suggest we show appreciation to Our Father G-D by making ourselves even better.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF.

I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE.

David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2017/06/our-father.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-56843884513367058762017-04-30T17:43:00.000-04:002017-04-30T17:44:23.288-04:00Speaking Their LanguageHey All. It's another relaxing Sunday, and that means it's time for another post.

In our challenge to obtain Emotional Maturity, we are often confronted with manipulators, beyess artists, and posers who have developed talents that don't deserve respect. Instead of owning up to their misdeeds, (or not even doing them in the first place - what a concept), they do everything they can to excuse, confuse, distract, or just babble incessantly in hopes of avoiding consequences.

It's very easy to become angry at them for being this way - and their apologists will not hesitate to remind us that it's a talent we lack - until we remember that this is their only talent.

However, when we are able to easily decipher what they say, we can avoid being manipulated by them. Some prime examples:

(1) "No offense, but . . ." - I'm going to bash you, but instead of admitting that, I'm going to add this disclaimer so I end up looking like the good guy.

(2) "I have no idea what you're talking about." You're right, but I'm too full of myself to admit it.

(3) "I see the good in all people" - I know my friends are assholes, but if they do/say things wrong to you, I'm going to defend them, because I need popularity more than respect.

(4) "You might learn something/Be open minded" - I'm better than you, so you have to let me interrupt and talk all over you.

(5) "I'm not putting one over on you" - Now that I disarmed you, you're going to fall for my BS just like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football.

This by no means an endorsement of the brutally honest - there is such a thing as respect - but there are way too many bullies, abusers, and narcissists who victimize people by beyessing them so hard it comes out their ears!

There are way too many people who get bullied and disrespected when young, used and abused by employers when grown, and made mincemeat out of by spouses and significant others with no morals to speak of. Contrary to popular opinion, the answer to that problem is not a left hook or a leg sweep. It's preparation and maturity.

Once you know their language, you can provide responses that clearly indicate that we're not getting fooled. Here are some examples.

(1) "No offense, but -" Why would I get offended if I wasn't even listening?

(2) "I have no idea what you're talking about." That's OK, your six-year-old nephew will explain it to you.

(3) "I see the good in all people" - I'm impressed. I didn't know they made microscopes for that.

(4) "You might learn something." Mission accomplished. Bye.

(5) "I'm not putting one over on you." I didn't say you were.

Don't get it twisted, we're not looking to find the best comebacks, or to have the Hollywood ending. We're also not looking to get the most hoots and hollers from the spectators and bystanders. What we are looking to do is set boundaries, and let our egocentric cousins understand that they don't own us, that we are not their followers, and that if they want more tools, they can go to Home Depot. One of the best ways to do this is to learn their language, instead of being misled by it. Aside from this, we can leave people like this behind, and (if we choose) replace them with less predatory and more empathetic counterparts.

And even if you don't have a ready response to these meritless, untruthful, and deceptive statements, don't worry. Our Mother Lady Karma has even better ones. Maybe She thinks a good comeback might be a ride in handcuffs, an unexpected pregnancy test, or having those very words proven false. Let Her handle that. We'll handle our own development, our own happiness, and our own choices of whom we choose to include in our lives.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

G-D THE FATHER PROPELS ME. G--SS THE MOTHER PROTECTS ME.

I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE.David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2017/04/speaking-their-language.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-1891284353786056452017-04-02T20:41:00.000-04:002017-04-02T20:42:10.830-04:00The Deadly Trap of DemonizationHey All - believe it or not, it's really spring!

Through my travels through social networking, I've joined a few groups that provide support to people recovering from abusive relationships. Out of respect for those members, I won't reveal their names, but they are there, and hopefully some of their members will decide to like the Facebook page.

As I read the entries on this new page, I empathize wholeheartedly with what these folks have seen. My heart goes out to how they have suffered, or continue to suffer. However, it seems that telling the tales of woe is only one part of what's needed. The other part is to heal and move forward.

At the beginning of this year, when I found Emotional Maturity and incorporated it into this blog, I started to realize that just bashing, crashing, and demonizing is not enough. No, we can't pretend this didn't happen. No, we can't pretend that what they've done is all our fault. And no, we can't say that it was all our imagination when they've hurt us.

However, we can't just make their fault and misdeeds a crutch for everything. At some point, we've got to stop the anger, end the grudges, and dispose of our ill will.

Many of those who do us wrong will not be apologetic or own up to their actions. As Isaiah Hankel says, we cannot expect a confession from such people - all we'll get is an excuse, a denial, a reminder that we're not perfect either, or maybe a half-assed apology. Accordingly, expecting to squeeze blood from a stone, or resorting to any other type of violence, is a waste.

Once we accept that they will not grow halos and wings, we have to stop cursing them for their horns and pitchforks. We don't have to call it forgiveness - they may have caused harm that forgiveness won't resolve. But we can call it dismissal or release.

We can censor them from our thoughts and conversations. We can leave their scenes on the cutting room floor. We can remove their likenesses from our internal Hall of Fame, and extend provide them with one of those tiny memorial plaques people screw onto park benches that nobody else notices.

For any of those group members who can read this, I feel you. I've been done to, done wrong, rejected, dejected, and neglected almost as much as you have, though I won't minimize your pain or make it a competition. I've also committed the erroneous error of holding onto those past wrongs for longer than necessary. No matter how wrong they were, or how evil they may still be, believe me when I say that holding grudges against them doesn't cure it. Instead, it eats away at you!

Even worse than that? It lets them off the hook. Yes, I know, that's shocking, but you're making something happen that's the exact opposite of what you want - you are letting them off the hook when you hold grudges against them. There comes a time when our feelings about them stop being their fault and start becoming ours. We are assuming liability for their fault! We are bailing them out! We are becoming just as bad as they are, because we emulate what we hate!!!!!!

You sure you want to give them that gift? Or would you rather reduce them to the unpleasantness of a bad dream?

That's what I thought.

For those who prefer spiritual comfort for this effort, rest assured: There's a Lady Named Karma. She's not impressed with bad boys, and She's not friendly with mean girls. She has the authority to pass judgment that we lack, and She has much better tools at Her disposal than we do.

Stop holding on to anger at our tormentors, and seeking revenge against our rivals. Instead, direct that energy towards continuous life improvement, as expected by Our Father G-D. Let Our Mother G-S Karma handle what the rest of them deserve.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I HANDLE WHAT I CAN CONTROL, WITH THE HELP OF FATHER G-D.

I DISMISS WHAT I CANNOT CONTROL, AND REFER IT UP TO MOTHER G-S.

Questions, comments, concerns? Feel free to private message me.

David Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2017/04/the-deadly-trap-of-demonization.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-30148420382429003572017-03-19T18:50:00.002-04:002017-03-19T18:50:47.656-04:00Responses and ResponsibilityHey All - Hope we're all staying warm.

Like the title? Wasn't thinking Jane Austen, but it just sort of happened.

To be honest, it's more than a little bit annoying to think that when someone else does something wrong to us, we still bear even a hint of responsibility. Many times when people say this, it's because (a) they're the ones who did us wrong and they don't feel like owning it; (b) someone is trying to manipulate you; or (c) "they like to see you squirm."

When they're wrong, they're wrong, there's no denying that. But that's not the end of the story. Believe it or not, how we respond or react isn't exactly their fault. They're not telling us what to say or how to say it - we are.

We need brevity. As I've stated before, whatever negative emotion you're feeling about someone else must be felt for a short period of time. It doesn't have to be only two seconds and then announce to everyone "It Doesn't Bother Meeee-eeeee" - that's just showing off. But whether it's a few minutes or less than an hour, you must train yourself to stop it. It's not helping you the longer it's there. If you can't use it constructively, then you can't keep it around long.
 (1) Can you do something about it? Aim it that way, right now!!
 (2) Can you not do something about it? Get rid of it, right now!!

We need clarity. We have to present a basic cost/benefit analysis as to whether the negative emotions are honestly worth it. If they can't bring about a workable result, then turn them off.

We need faith. We have to donate our hurt feelings, our grudges, our rage/fury/hatred and dislike of others up to the only One who can really judge them. I wish I had a scorecard for you, as well as pie-charts and graphs to tell you how often it happens, but I don't. Nevertheless, I've seen this Lady go to work and go to town on people who've done my wrong, and she's been known to pack a whallop on them. So remember:

There's A Lady Named Karma. She's not attracted to bad boys and She doesn't hang with mean girls.

She seeks justice and consequences in all things, especially when it can't happen due to others' misdeeds.

She has much better tools for vengeance at Her disposal, and She won't screw up the job the way you or I might.

That doesn't mean you just let things happen when you do have the opportunity to stop them. There is a Father G-D above us who will remind us, "This is your job, not Mine." But there is also a Mother G-SS who can handle everything that we can't.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF.

I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE.

David Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2017/03/responses-and-responsibility.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-65642095377919557422017-03-12T19:49:00.000-04:002017-03-12T20:21:05.917-04:00Less Blame, More RespectHey All! Once again, the weather is messing with us, running hot and cold.

We live in a world with people who just aren't perfect. They make mistakes, they don't think things through, they insult (sometimes with every intention of doing so), and sometimes they just give us reasons to dislike them.

Although it doesn't always seem like it, they are still human. Flesh and blood, heart and soul, faces and names. We don't have to pretend to like them when we don't, and it's wrong to pretend that they're our friends when they aren't. We also don't have to turn a blind eye to our boundaries when they are violated. But hating them is not the answer either.

There are times we have to be honest with them about why what they do is not acceptable to us. And those times are limited. There is no need to turn a statement into a rant or a lecture. Not only would it be an in-your-face attack against them that might not be warranted, but spending more time than necessary disparaging them (a) doesn't change them; and (b) makes us worse.

As one of my influences, Dr. Isaiah Hankel, has said, it doesn't do us any good to pursue a confession from others. Chances are better than likely that (a) the other folks already know what they did wrong, and don't feel the need to fall on their sword over it; or (b) they think they've done absolutely nothing wrong, and don't owe you anything. All we're ever going to get out of these folks is (i) a half-assed confession; (ii) an excuse; or (iii) a counter-attack because it's just as easy for them to judge us as it is for us to judge them. We don't need a confession if we already know what they did, and we don't have to argue for them to find themselves in the wrong if we already think they are.

Instead, it is better for us to simply understand that they either have reasons for what they do, or they're simply misinformed, and simply leave them as they are. No, that does not mean we give them license to abuse us. And no, that does not mean that we should give them unlimited free passes without taking actions necessary to protect ourselves. What it does mean is that it's not our job to forever point fingers at them, demonizing them as undesirables and hating them as untouchables. It simply doesn't help us to continue doing that. There is far more strength of character to take only actions that are necessary, without demanding that they become more like us, and without any malice or hatred involved.

If we can remain unflappable around them, without letting them get under or skin, and without allowing them to tempt us into hating, judging, or demonizing them, we win. Plain and simple.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF.

I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE.

David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2017/03/less-blame-more-respect.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-34827780672004023802017-02-12T17:18:00.000-05:002017-02-12T17:18:55.860-05:00Limitations and PercentagesHey All - a rainy Sunday afternoon is about to become a rainy Sunday evening.

Today I finally made it official and retitled this page. It's not as short and snappy as the last one, but it's more real, more inclusive, and far more constructive.

I feel a little bit like someone who's been "born again" or "saved," but now that I've figured out how to practice emotional maturity, I feel like a new man. I feel happier, calmer, and more able to accept new thoughts and information. I can accept criticism or disagreement without getting amped up and raging out. And most importantly, I can realize that there are people in this life who do not conduct themselves the way I'd prefer, but that instead of becoming enraged and infuriated like some dopey sitcom character, I can either accept them despite these objections, or reject them because of these objections with no second thoughts.

For many of you reading this, it might be old hat to you. And it should be. Therefore, you probably shouldn't be reading this blog, because you might have most of it figured out already.

However, I'm pretty darn sure that there are still many of you out there, like me, who did not have such a strong command of these things. Some of you might be young, still going through school, unsure about what direction to take and a little bit scared, and having trouble coping with life's unpleasantness. Maybe we can help each other out.

Until recently, I exhorted all the Bold Betas out there to be Bulletproof, and I threw a lot of shame and disapproval at all the alpholes. In doing so, I made a few errors.
(1) I negated those who might be tough, badass, alpha types who are not seeking to harm those who weren't. We live in a world where we need police, soldiers, firefighters, rescue squads, sailors, marines, special forces, and heavy physical labor. I am nobody to say that those men and women who perform those jobs are no good.
(2) I overlooked the truth that simply being a Beta didn't insulate someone from being just as judgmental, just as hurtful, just as arrogant, and just as brutal as any of the alpholes on their worst day.

When we demonize, we obliterate anything good about someone, and when we deify, we place someone on a pedestal that they don't deserve. To the extent I've been erroneous to do this, it's stopping now.

When we are emotionally mature, we understand that nobody is perfect, but also that nobody is evil. That doesn't mean we're going to go out of our way to hang out with people we don't like and pretend to be their friends. But it does mean that we should not think that this person can do no wrong, and that this person can do no right. That way, we do not respond to people with childlike expressions of wonder and worship, or with infantile forms of name-calling and belittling.

Instead, we acknowledge everyone else has degrees and percentages. If they score high on what we find acceptable, even leaving a certain amount of "room for error," we welcome them into our lives and bestow friendship and respect on them. If they score low, we kindly and politely place them on the other side of our boundaries.

In understanding that there is no all-or-nothing situation here, I'm minimizing the use of the labels and concentrating instead on the real way to eliminate bullying, sexism, and racism - good old fashioned Emotional Maturity. I hope you'll continue to show me support for this along the way.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF.

I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE.

David Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2017/02/limitations-and-percentages.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-84737482119443462842017-01-31T20:50:00.000-05:002017-01-31T20:51:02.354-05:00The FilterGood Evening, Good Evening, Friends And Neighbors.

With this New Year, we've got a new attitude, a new philosophy, and possibly a new name. And the best way to have that work is to aim at the political situation that has arisen out of the fact that we have a new President.

Now many of you might have seen posts where I demonstrated what side of the fence I'm on. That's not changing anytime soon, and since this is America, I have every right to make that choice. However, sometimes those choices must be tempered by wisdom and respect.

If I see someone else posting about the other side online, or overhear what they believe in real life, that's not my cue. It's not my time to invite myself into their conversation and dazzle them with my perceived superiority. The fact that they have a message that is the opposite of yours does not mean a confrontation needs to begin. To behave otherwise is the reason why we have had racism, rape culture, and bullying - way too many people think having a mouth is more important than having respect for others.

So, while I have my preferences and my allegiance, you won't see me forcing them on other people. I lack the authority to save or damn any soul in this realm, and I won't pretend I do. To the extent I ever gave anyone that impression, that's a thing of the past.

I have seen those whose ego dwarfs their empathy, and see the introduction of this issue as a license to start an attack where an attack is not warranted. Call it what you want, but I'm done engaging them. As distasteful as I find it, and as much as I condemn that behavior, responding in kind doesn't stop them. The only way to stop folks like that is to stop them.

In the realm of social media, we have the luxury of ending communications with them. Our more high-conflict neighbors love to call that cowardice, wimping out, etc. When they trot out those buzzwords, I hear them say "Wait a minute - you're not supposed to shut down my spewing! You're supposed to let me have the upper hand, not have the upper hand for yourself! You're not supposed to operate from a position of strength, only I am!" It's not that different from a spoiled child not getting their way.

So, Friends and Neighbors, I invite you to elevate yourselves. Respect the differences of opinions. It may or may not be an opportunity to understand, if you're so inclined. There is no reason to start more conflict, more drama, or more disrespect. And if they try to do likewise to you, simply shut them down. They want you to escalate it, they want your reactions, and they want to have more and more excuses to remind us that not everyone was raised like we were.

Thing is, they're proud of that. We're not.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF.

EMOTIONAL MATURITY.David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2017/01/the-filter.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-75734401152891184332017-01-01T13:55:00.001-05:002017-01-01T13:55:44.244-05:00A Year of Emotional MaturityGood Afternoon, Friends and Neighbors!

A nice little run sweated the alcohol out of my system, and the NFL has the last regular-season games of the season. So where does that leave you and me?

(1) Constantly Seeking Improvement.
Yes, it's a day off from most jobs, but that doesn't mean from all work. Every day we have is an opportunity to learn from our earlier choices, to improve from our earlier state, and to do things we've never done before.

(2) Reserving Alone Time.
Our high-conflict neighbors simply cannot function unless they are active, around people, and "on" as much as possible. Our secret weapon is in avoiding this trap. Every single day, we are to spend some time alone. To write/journal, meditate, relax, or just be there. That doesn't mean you stop moving forward, do nothing, and get lazy. It does mean you take a period of time, not to long and not to short, to clear your mind, stabilize your thoughts, and keep your emotions in check and in order.

(3) Looking For Reasons To Be Happy.
Always find something, every day, that makes you smile. A joke, a quick word with a friend, anything that gives you a reason to appreciate everything that is right about this world. Even if you're having a bad day, people are being challenging or difficult to you, or unfortunate consequences have happened, do this.

The Big 1-7 is going to be a year of changes for you all and for me. I'm looking to become even more successful in my career, get my message out through this blog and other means, and to start a life of happiness with somebody special.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF.

I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE.

David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2017/01/a-year-of-emotional-maturity.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-31548075873422976992016-12-26T18:41:00.000-05:002016-12-26T18:41:26.168-05:00So What's In A Name?Hey All - It's Christmukkah! A rare and welcome event when the first night of Chanukah is also Christmas Eve, and the rest of Chanukah runs right into New Year's. A great opportunity for caring and sharing.

In keeping with that opportunity, I've come to realize that I need to give more emphasis to the true theme of this blog. Those of you who follow me on Facebook and Twitter have noticed that I have used the hashtags "emotional maturity" and "respect" more often than "Bold Betas" and "alpholes." This has happened due to what I consider a natural evolution in my writing, and how things are developing in my life and the world around me.

When I started using the original hashtags, I was at a slightly different place in life than I am now. Since a lot of blessings have been heading my way, the need to have a "bad guy" to throw things at has somewhat lessened, and the need to focus on how to handle life's challenges with intelligence and not with reactions has increased.

There really are people who are high-conflict, unnecessarily aggressive, threatening, narcissistic, and sociopathic. They do exist. And there really are people who've been hurt, put down, done to, held back, and underdeveloped. They do exist too. However, as I face the end of this year, I've started to realize that the way to address these problems is by not necessarily demonizing or deifying anyone, but not demonstrating how Emotional Maturity and Respect would change both extremes.

That being said, I'm just not sure about retitling this blog, or doing away with the original hashtags. I think they still matter.

However, in the coming year, I would like to increase traffic, gain more exposure, expand into speaking engagements, and make a contribution to the world around me other than working and paying taxes. In order to do that effectively, I have to ask the advice of other people who can see these messages from an outsider's perspective.

So, my readers, I address the following queries to you:

(1) Should I, or should I not, retire the terms "Bold Betas" and "alpholes?"

(2) If so, should I, or should I not, retitle this blog?

(3) If so, do I, or do I not, risk losing the audience I seek?

Only serious responses requested, of course. And if you're on Facebook, and your comment is likely to exceed one paragraph, please direct-message me instead.

DISCLAIMER: While I'm not yet sure whether to make Emotional Maturity a title of this blog, I am very sure to let it govern how we address each other. If your statements to me reveal a lack of emotional maturity, they're getting deleted. Your subsequent accusations of cowardice will not negate my boundaries.

Happy Holidays, everybody!David Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/12/so-whats-in-name.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-5788586361105893412016-12-10T19:00:00.001-05:002016-12-10T19:14:44.787-05:00Emotional Maturity - From The BeginningHey All - a real chill in the air, and it's not just the weather.

One reason why we react the way we do to everyday issues and troubles is because we got used to doing it a certain way at an early age. Childhood and adolescence, those "Wonder Years." We get stuck in a pattern, our responses get rehearsed so many times they become automatic. So it's very easy to stop changing and growing at some point.

But believe it or not, this can be altered and upgraded. Any. Time. We. Feel. Like. It.

It's not an on/off switch like our more critical neighbors like to believe. But it is within our power nonetheless.

(1). Preparation.

This right here is the most important part. Our self-talk can keep us stuck in the holding pattern of getting annoyed, argumentative, defensive, or enraged at the same provocation. We keep thinking, I can't stand this guy, this woman is so stupid, this kid should shut up, so our brains become wired to always think of that person in a negative light. It's like you see their face and name on a jumbo-tron and your internal capacity crowd starts booing and cursing! So when you actually see them, Guess What Happens?

To avoid this, flip the script. Find a way to stop this internal Two-Minute Hate. Such as:

 (A). Decide that you will not react that way. Because they don't make you angry, you get angry. And you can also not get angry.

 (B). Prepare responses that will diffuse your reactions, and not manipulate them further. Those that will repel anything that would otherwise trip a trigger. Those that will make you, and anyone else, smile, and not fume.

(2). Execution.

Commit yourself. Do not show fear, pain, or anger. As stated above, do not absorb. Repel. Block the shots. Use your stick to deflect it, use your glove to smother it. Be Bulletproof!

You knew I was going there, ha ha!

(3). Follow Through.

Don't be that guy. Don't wait until they leave the room and say, What a nasty woman, what a loud mouth ass, I thought they'd never shut up. That just undoes everything we already did! It makes it seem like an act, and that you're not really that mature at all!

After the encounter, exhale. Breathe a sigh of relief. Pat yourself on the back for keeping it together, and dismiss them from your thoughts.

Chances are, they won't expect the change. Shock 'em. It's very powerful to stay calm when you're expected to fly off the handle.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF.

I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE.
David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/12/emotional-maturity-from-beginning.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-66997196204544794712016-12-04T13:51:00.000-05:002016-12-04T13:51:57.918-05:00Yes, They Got Away With It. So?Hey All - It's a Chilly Sunday in December. Hope everyone's doing well.

One stumbling block to emotional maturity is Resentment, and it's slacker big brother, Grudges. If there's one thought that can keep people angry and stuck, it's that feeling where someone else gets away with doing something wrong, knowing full well that punishment and consequences would be inevitable had we done the same thing.

Goodness knows I've felt angry seeing that happen. Sometimes the teacher's pet/boss' favorite/coach's son gets protected when they make mistakes, or even worse, one of us takes the hit for it because it's always our fault, and never theirs, no matter what happens. Unfortunately, this practice has been around since the dawn of time, and short of transforming the hearts and minds of the perpetrators, it will continue indefinitely.

Let's be honest. It is frustrating to the extreme to have been raised with values, discipline, and lines we don't cross, and then seeing so many other people do the opposite of that and not suffer consequences for it. It is disheartening to know that some authority figures consider someone else to be better than you, sometimes for no objective reason, and that nothing you do or say can change that. And it's also that way when we remember how bullies of yesteryear, how nasty, abrasive, rude, and abusive they were, and yet they were mobbed with fraaaands and followers, instead of being isolated and despised.

It's that frustration with life "not being fair" that most triggers our dissatisfaction with this arrangement. In a perfect world, there would be automatic consequences for these transgressions, hence no transgressions. But for now, we do not live in a world where that happens. Instead, for hopefully a limited time, we must adapt to this misfortune.

(1) Accept the decisions that action cannot be taken against. If the only thing you can do in response to that which aggrieves you is to just be angry and criticize it, then you're wasting your time. Yes, you can be angry and dissatisfied with it, but if that anger and dissatisfaction can never change the results, then it must be contained. If it is not, then you risk harming yourself far more than you can ever impact them. Our high-conflict neighbors still have no intention of owning their actions or improving their behavior. Until they are compelled to do so, courtesy of Lady Kharma, we must accept that which we have no control over.

(2) If you are able to do something or say something about it, take the chance while you have it. In my line of work, you have a 30 day deadline to appeal decisions that aggrieve your client. In real life, the window of opportunity is sometimes smaller. But if you have the chance, that's your time to make your arguments. You may need to have supporting evidence to demonstrate why they're wrong and you're right, so have it ready to produce whenever someone else wants to ask questions designed to make you look stupid. You may need to erect definitive boundaries against behavior you find objectionable while it is happening. You may need to politely, but firmly, explain that you do not appreciate certain behaviors.

(3) Handle yourself with emotional intelligence, and not with emotional chaos. When we're angered, triggered, or just plain annoyed, our heads are not on straight. In that state, it's very easy to fudge the earlier two steps. We can still remain calm even when telling someone else that their actions are unacceptable, or explaining why someone else's decision should be changed. We can still respond to attacks designed to trigger us by not becoming triggered. We can repel their attempts to get under our skin while still responding appropriately to their actions.

No, it's still not OK that people get away with actions that we, and they, know are wrong. But simply bemoaning this fact and cursing their improperly-gotten gains does nothing to stop them. Accepting what cannot be reversed, and reversing that what can be, however, are the best weapons we have. And handling these weapons at the highest level of emotional maturity will ensure the best results possible.

That's The Jam, Folks.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.

EMOTIONAL MATURITY IS THE ONLY WAY.David Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/12/yes-they-got-away-with-it-so.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-75676876407958643292016-11-16T22:42:00.002-05:002016-11-16T22:42:29.276-05:00Trump Haters? Aim It That Way.Hey All. Well, we know what happened.

Were you mad at him for his tone? His vulgarity? His crudeness? What he said about these people, those people, and damn near everyone?

Good. I'm honestly glad you were. It's actually very reassuring that this world does not want to live by the alphaganda after all. This helps my cause more than you might realize. Now if people could only prove it by keeping their cool and not rioting.

So what to do now, that he actually won? Divide that anger to be aimed in these five directions:

(1) Take 20% of that anger at Trump, and aim it at children who bully. Remember how horrible you thought Trump sounded at his debates and in his interviews, and aim it at every kid who pushes, shoves, wedgies, and threatens those weaker or less adjusted than him or her. Pretend that kid is Trump himself, and let that kid have it! Don't hold back! Just 20% of Trump Hatred should shake that kid's very foundations enough to check the behavior.

(2) Take another 20%. Aim it at abusive bosses. Also aim it at boss-appointed bullies who flaunt authority they don't deserve. Tell them that you think the way you're treated is unacceptable, and if it doesn't change, you're out the door. (Caveat - unless you're prepared to be self-employed, get yourself a new job before doing this)

(3) Take another 20%. Aim it at family members who don't treat you with respect. I mean parents, children, spouses, partners, uncles, cousins, in-laws - no more free passes. Just 20% of that Trump rage should put them on notice that their behavior will not be tolerated. (Further Caveat - there is a risk of schism within the family if this happens, because there will always be enablers who think they've done nothing wrong. Prepare for this eventuality)

(4) Take another 20%. Aim it at any laws, rules, ordinances, or regulations are unjust, unethical, unfairly prejudicial, harmful, or contrary to reasonable expectations of fairness. In other words, get rid of stupid rules. I'm not saying be a foolish revolutionary, since you only get 20% for this assignment. But make your voice heard. Write your Congressperson/Senator/State legislator/local legislator and tell them what's not right. Go to a school board meeting and tell them why things should change. Act like there's something that might be bigger than your own immediate space, and that it matters big time! And I'm not interested in whether it's a conservative or a liberal issue - I'm interested in explaining why a rule should be repealed, and not just violated. And that means persuasion, and not senseless violence.

(5) Take another 20%. Aim it at the mirror! We're far from perfect, you and I, and we can admit to ourselves that there are times we've done and said things that even Trump wouldn't! If you're grown enough to own that, then you can take it upon yourself the responsibility of ceasing it. If you're still hating Trump, but excusing your own conduct, you can feel free to refer to this process as DeTrumping Yourself! Think he's so horrible, he's an ogre, he's no good? Then make yourselves as much of an opposite of that as you can. Bashing him every minute of every day is an unprofitable venture - demonstrating that you don't emulate those traits will yield huge dividends.

Nobody said he was a role model. He was elected to be a leader in spite of his foibles, and not because of them.

Ummm, Daaaaaaave? Can I ask a question?

You just did, so obviously you can.

How could you support him, of all people?!? You spent how many years lamenting the evil that these men do, and now you choose him to be our President?!?

I'm glad you asked me that most popular and bandwagon-esque of all questions. For the answer, however, we'll just have to wait until the Inauguration this January.

Until then, I'm looking towards Thanksgiving - where we can all show gratitude, and not regret. Towards the phenomenon of Chanukah commencing on Christmas Eve - you can't get much more Judeo-Christian than that! And of course, the year 2017 - foretold by Billy Joel in one of his best songs.

Night All!

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.David Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/11/trump-haters-aim-it-that-way.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-66901882995918295662016-10-03T20:26:00.000-04:002016-10-03T20:26:46.944-04:00How NOT To Be BulletproofHey All - It's About that time!

Yes, it's not exactly news right now, but it still bugs me the way last week's debate went down. I've posted many, many times about what it means to be Bulletproof: to never be ruffled by other peoples' insults and conduct; to prevent offenses from getting under your skin; to repel any attempt to ruin your mood.

Aaaaaand then there's Trump.

I remember telling everyone I knew, I bet I know what his advisors are telling him. It was funny when you busted balls with Jeb Bush, and it was entertaining when you, Cruz, and Rubio made like the Three Stooges. But you CAN'T do that with Hillary! She'll make you look like an idiot if you handle that debate the same way!

So for about five minutes, he was cool, calm, and collected. After that, he went right back to being thin-skinned and combative when he could have been smooth and smart. It was very difficult to watch. Yes, he made a few nice recoveries - I'll release my tax returns when you release your deleted emails - but in all the time he spent reacting and responding to her nonsense, he could have challenged her about Benghazi. And the presence of Bill and Chelsea in the room should not have been an excuse not to bring up Lewinsky and Company once the opportunity presented itself.

To her credit, this is what attorneys in the area I practice do. They try to distract the Judge and the other side in hopes that arguments against them will not be stated on the record, and therefore waived. But experienced attorneys know not to leave the hearing room without raising those issues no matter what the other side does. Donald, by comparison, is very lucky that there will be two more debates.

But my issue with Donald's debate performance is that he presented a textbook example of what it looks like when you're NOT bulletproof. He got so rattled . . . so defensive . . . so unhinged . . . did he want Saturday Night Live to have a field day with him on their premiere?! No, Mr. Trump. Please!

Don't misunderstand me, I'm human too. I know how it feels not be bulletproof when pressed or pushed. But normally that happens with me when I'm confronted with people with whom I don't expect to keep my guard up against. NOT when it's someone who can't have a free pass! Had he kept his guard up and steamrolled right over her snarkiness, he might have won.

As Betas, since we are often more empathetic than our more high-conflict counterparts, we sometimes take things to heart when it does not help us to do so. We often react to distractions that are designed to let our adversaries off the hook. Only with a strong amount of emotional maturity can we prevent them from antagonizing us. The amount that Trump so sorely needed.

How? Here:

(1) Armor yourself: Your internal feelings are stable, if not at ease. Your skin is so thick that even the best aimed barb bounces off into the audience.
(2) Prepare yourself: EXPECT them to try to get you off your game. When you know which way they'll go, you'll be better equipped to deflect them.
(3) Believe in yourself: They want to break your confidence. Make it unbreakable.

Night All!David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/10/how-not-to-be-bulletproof.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-80100083201135592252016-09-10T18:32:00.000-04:002016-09-10T18:32:00.095-04:00The One Who Stands OutHey All. The summer is almost, but not quite, over. Not with almost 70% humidity it's not, anyway.

Recently, we've been focusing a lot on an NFL quarterback who decided this year that he would not stand for the national anthem before football games. And is often the case, the country is divided over this issue. Those who do not agree with this gesture, like myself, think that it is a disrespectful slap in the face to our honored war dead and law enforcement officers. Those who do agree return to the continuing refrain that racism and discrimination still abound, and that they cannot respect a country that has not yet eradicated these elements.

Let's start with the basics:

(1) This is still America. What this quarterback is doing is protected speech. He is not breaking any law by refusing to stand for the anthem, and he can't be imprisoned for it. After all, this is not North Korea. Patriotism cannot be forced.
(2) Some people like to stand out. To be the rebel. To be the guy who says, "No . . . I'm not wrong for disobeying rules. The system is wrong for making them." In all honesty, that's what we do here on the blog.
(3) However, as the alpholes sometimes forget, the fact that you are able to do something doesn't make it right, smart, or necessary. Being a rebel just for the sake of being a rebel is a waste of everyone's time. If there is a cause you stand for, and unfairness to fight, it needs to be done in a constructive way, and not a destructive one.

On this blog, we love America. We are proud of this country and its ideals of freedom and liberty. We love how the sky is the limit as to how much you can achieve, and I'm not ashamed of this, earn. Does that make it Utopia? No it doesn't. But quite frankly, we believe that America's strengths far outweigh its weaknesses.

Most importantly, here in the blog, we support respect and emotional maturity. Mr. Kaepernick is not showing either one.

If he was so concerned with racial injustice, or other issues, he could have used his status as a well-known athlete to make a far more positive impact. Showing up at protests on his own time, or taping PSA's that support his values might have been a smarter idea. But using his job to advocate his own personal opinion, which would get many other people fired, is wrong. It has caused deep divisions not only in the media, but within his sport.

As Bold Betas, we automatically stand out. Merely by being who we are, we go against the grain. This sometimes is used for an excuse for bullies to behave the way they do, because that very act of being different is simply intolerable to them. And the very notion of just letting us be us is far too stifling and boring to even consider.

However, quite a few bullies like to stand out too. Like the class clown who gets a kick out of interrupting the teacher. Who bears detention and suspension as badges of honor. Who loves to put people down to make themselves look better.

Hate to break it to you, as it makes other athletes look bad, but Mr. Kaepernick's refusal to stand for the national anthem is in the latter category. He's just stirring up trouble. There is nothing constructive or responsible resulting from his conduct.

Aesop's Moral:

Stand out to blaze a new trail, not merely to block other trails.

Stand out to build something new, not merely to destroy older structures.

Stand out to present a new idea, not merely to mock an older one.

Stand out to praise others' strengths, not merely to judge others' weaknesses.

Stand out to lift the right people up, not merely to put the wrong people down.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.David Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/09/the-one-who-stands-out.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-36969038620700053262016-07-23T17:03:00.001-04:002016-07-31T18:39:06.168-04:00From AboveHey all - looks like July is almost in the can. Summers fly, winters walk!

We are often faced with things beyond our control: other people's unacceptable behavior, out-of-control children, and the weather. Now I'm not saying you have to be religious to do this, but faith in a higher power is a sure fire way to be less irritable and critical over these dark smudges on an otherwise decent existence.

There is a G-D. There is something, or someone, up there that knows you inside and out. He knows when you're hurt and you're angry. He knows when you've been done wrong. And He knows who's responsible.

Our high-conflict neighbors think that a smack in the mouth is the only solution for these problems. They're wrong. Our L-D and Master, while still quick to forgive, has much stronger weapons in His arsenal. We can't make someone lose their job, get dumped by their significant other, or contract a fatal disease - and let's be honest, we wouldn't really want to make any of that happen. But G-D can, and sometimes will, do all that and then some.

Don't get it twisted - I'm not saying anyone should pray for someone else's demise. G-D's not anyone's hitman.

What I am saying is that G-D sees everything they get away with. He doesn't put you to a burden of proof because He's already seen all the evidence. And more often than not, they don't "get away" with any of their misdeeds or malfeasance because their case files remain open for the pendency of their natural born lives.

And whether He executes His judgment sooner or later is not our concern. Point being, neither is our desire for vengeance.

One way to live an empty, unfulfilled, unsatisfying, unpleasant, and unpeaceful life is to hold grudges. To remain furious and hateful long after the offense has been committed. To forever resent someone for "getting away with it" instead of simply fixing whatever damage was caused.

I'm not letting them off the hook, don't worry - we all know that alpholes exist. But the responsibility for seeking a pound of flesh from each person who hurts us is not the responsibility we're meant to carry. We are not avenging angels out for justice like some movie hero. We are not knights commissioned to slay a dragon like some RPG character. And (yup, you knew I was going there) we don't live in a comic book.

We have goals to reach, levels to advance, and a duty to be true to ourselves. Burning with revenge and obsessing over others' misdeeds gets in the way of the important work we need to do. That's why it's kicked upstairs to He who always dispenses justice so we won't have to do so. Leave that business to Him.

Let's be real - for some of us, like our high-conflict neighbors, a peaceful life is way too boring. Good. As they sometimes tell parents of over-scheduled children, we all need to be a little bored now and then. That's how we get creative enough to build lives of substance and not of routine.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.

DISCLAIMER: The above does not endorse or reject any particular religion or set of beliefs. It just states that there is a G-D. Those of you who are atheist or agnostic are entitled to disagree, with and only with respect.

David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/07/from-above.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-83353629349525324612016-07-02T18:06:00.001-04:002016-07-17T20:15:04.019-04:00Getting Too ComfortableHey All - enjoying the Saturday afternoon of July 4th weekend!

I don't normally share a lot of personal information through this blog, but this time I've something I'm proud to share - I'm engaged! I'm engaged to a beautiful, sweet, hilariously funny, and very loving woman. She makes me smile and laugh every morning I wake up with her, and every night I go to bed with her. We have our very own love, and we're happy with it every day.

Now don't get it twisted, it's not such a surprise - in fact, I showed her this post before I published it, so she's completely fine with me talking about us.

But unlike the overly-aggressive types we sometimes deal with, I'm not saying this to boast or brag. I have no need to flaunt my relationship with a beautiful woman as if it were some type of possession I purchased or prize that I won. However, since some of my audience might be single for extended portions of their lives, or may have given up on women for many reasons, I think it's appropriate to say that as long as you look for love in the right places, and continue to look even after it "doesn't work out," chances are better than average that you'll find it.

But assuming that does happen, what then? Is the war really over? Are the closing credits rolling? Are our issues really finished and done with?

Not a chance. Not a chance in hell.

When we betas do finally "get the girl," the movie does not end. Rather, a new chapter begins. That means contributing enough to the relationship. That means paying a little more attention to what she wants and needs. That means surprising her when she least expects it. To put it short, that means acting like you give a damn.

Now don't get it twisted. I didn't say sacrifice your individual just to make her happy. I also didn't say become a henpecked, yes-dear, spineless, soul-less, shell of your former self. That's crap. And definitely don't become that guy who talks endlessly about how out of control his wife is, waits for a reaction, and then says "It doesn't bother me." Guys who do that are looking for attention that they don't deserve.

What I did say was to act like the relationship matters. Don't just be a spectator, be a participant! Yes, you won't both do all the same things together, and yes, you will need some alone time and some guys'/girls' nights out. But make your together moments count! Surprise her by covering a few household chores that she would otherwise do. Buy her a few little presents. Plan a date night with a few surprises!

And in those hopefully rare occasions when you get annoyed with each other and do something stupid, have the good grace to (a) calm the flip down; and (b) apologize for your part in the disagreement. No, that does not mean "the woman is always right," this isn't The Good Men Project, but it does mean that if there's a disagreement happening, you're both doing something that's not perfect. And the saying, "you can be right, or you can be happy," is particularly applicable.

Be happy? You got it. Be proud? Keep at it. But be comfortable? That's where it all gets flat, stale, and used-up. Don't get so comfortable with your newfound love that you forget to keep it up.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.

David Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/07/getting-too-comfortable.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-50452036512171551942016-06-14T22:03:00.000-04:002016-06-14T22:03:22.919-04:00The Worst That Men Can BeHey All. Hope you're enjoying June.

Recently, we have witnessed two men exhibit the worst possible examples of the alphaganda. Let's review them.

(1) Brock Turner.

What this young man is convicted of doing is absolutely disgusting. Sexually violating an unconscious woman, hoping to use her lack of knowledge to argue that she consented, and having his father minimize the act itself? Unacceptable.

Once again, society is discussing rape in depth. Is it encouraged? Enabled? Are all men potential rapists? Are there rapists lurking around every corner in every bar and college campus?

There is a paragraph of the alphaganda that seems to suggest that what Brock Turner did is American as apple pie. That he was "the man." That in order to register as an all-American red-blooded male, you must, repeat must, hook up. You must have lost your virginity by the time you're 15. No, 12. No, younger.

That paragraph also suggests that once you get started on that route, you gotta keep going. Put up numbers like Wilt Chamberlain. Gene Simmons. Any pick-up artist. If you're not doing like them, you're nothing.

This is not necessarily rape culture, in and of itself. But it unmistakably causes it. The same way that bullying naturally leads to rape and other forms of brutality.

The answer to this is discipline. This comes naturally with maturity, but in order to prevent more of this from occurring, that discipline should begin much earlier in life. There needs to be an understanding that self-respect, respect for others, and basic ethics and morals matter more than having sex. And this would be best served if young people waited until their 20's to even consider it.

(2) Omar Mateen.

Some men think that might makes right. That would probably be the first chapter in the alphaganda.

It's one thing to belong to a religion that denounces homosexuality. Those of us who are Jewish or Christian already do, but most likely keep that opinion within the bounds of decency. Or sometimes we even decide that respect for those we love is more important than denouncing the act.

It's quite another thing to commit a mass murder of those that you perceive to be wrong. Something completely different to take a whole arsenal of weapons into a nightclub full of unarmed people and just . . . kill 'em all and let G-D sort them out.

As Bold Betas, we are able to discipline ourselves against making such errors in judgment. Unlike Brock Turner, we understand that (a) having sex at a young age is not the end-all and be-all that others think it is; (b) if a woman tells us no, she may or may not be doing us a favor; (c) other people's life choices cannot propel us to violence; and (d) no deity or demigod compels us to kill, and ourselves have no authority to save or damn any soul in this realm.

A small number of readers of this blog have objected to my use of the term "alphole" because they think that it unfairly paints all "manly men" with a broad brush, and that it lumps assertive males unfairly with pathological males. Ladies and gentlemen, you now have textbook illustrations of what that term was meant to describe.

Condolences to the victims of the Orlando shooting. Sympathy to the victim of Brock Turner's sexual assault. And respect towards those victimized by the Tel Aviv shooting.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-worst-that-men-can-be.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-43998774763975403942016-05-15T17:22:00.000-04:002016-05-15T17:22:45.587-04:00Bounce 'Em If You Can't Boot 'EmHey All - Sunday Fun-Day!

In keeping with our evolution towards emotional maturity, I offer a few days to deal with possibly awkward social situations. Yes, the best way of dealing with rude, arrogant, overly-aggressive, blowhard, bullying types is to not be near them in the first place. But sometimes, family politics and alternate reasons don't make that possible.

(1) Prepare Yourself.

 (A) Decide that no matter what that individual tries to do, it will not affect your thoughts or your mood. You are there for a good reason, and that fool isn't it.
 (B) See yourself blocking, bobbing, weaving, and bouncing. This does NOT mean prepping smart-ass comments that you think will shut them down. Even if you're right, and even if everyone gives you a hand for that, it won't change that fool.
 (C) Choose to leave that situation with the same calm and undisturbed state of mind that you had when you arrived.

(2) Handle Yourself.

 (A) They want to get you off your game. Don't be.
 (B) They will try to make a personal comment designed to get under your skin. Let your skin be so thick it'll bounce right off.
 (C) Don't let their followers egg you on, either. Use that opportunity to evaluate who needs to be dispatched for flagrant disloyalty.

(3) Reward Yourself.

 (A) The law of attraction states that you attract what you think about. If you are NOT a high-conflict personality, conflict will not find you as often as it does our alpholish counterparts.
 (B) Behaving as if the mere presence of someone undesirable is nothing to be concerned with will provide better results than you think.
 (C) Being less concerned with pettiness, drama, and others' lack of morality and ethics will allow you to be more concerned with issues in your own life that require more attention.

To borrow a concept from Isaiah Hankel, you don't need to beat a confession out of these people. You don't need smart-ass comebacks, expert disses, or the ability to talk over people. Even if you were able to expose them as being wrong, the most you'd get is a half-assed apology, and continued undesirable behavior. These people are simply not capable of seeing issues with their actions or their words, and making them look bad will only (a) be forgotten and glossed over because they know everything or (b) make them want to do it even worse.

The best way to be Bold and Bulletproof is to Boot'em! When the aforementioned Booting can't be done, the ultimate backup plan is simple Emotional Maturity. It only looks difficult because people who love conflict simply can't succeed at it.

We can and we will. You'll see for yourself.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE.

David Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/05/bounce-em-if-you-cant-boot-em.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-27859963274302101812016-05-01T16:27:00.000-04:002016-05-01T16:27:19.705-04:00Change The ProgrammingHey All - Happy 1st Day of May!

The reason why we face the struggles we do is that we don't alter our responses to certain stimuli. Sometimes bullying and abuse continues because they notice your response, expect it, and we unfortunately deliver as expected.

If that response isn't delivering the result you want, why continue it? If it isn't working, why not fix it? If it just reinforces things you don't want in life, why accept them?

(1). Something Pissing You Off?

 (A). Think how you'd act if you weren't pissed off. You'd be controlled. You'd be smart. You'd be a winner.

 (B). Look how you're about to act. Out of control. Raw emotion. Like a loose cannon.

 (C). Which would you rather use, even if you are that pissed off?

(2). Something From The Past Bugging You?

 (A). How? It's over. It's not happening now. Feeling bad about doesn't change anything about what happened.

 (B). Why? Because you feel guilty? Because you were mistaken? Because the usual wiseasses say shit about it? That's not a death sentence, despite what it must feel like.

 (C). What if you could just scan that crap, shred the original document, file it away, and not even look at it? And if it takes up too much space, set a timer to delete it?

(3). Something Coming Soon You're Worried About?

 (A). Is it happening right this minute? Is it guaranteed to be a bad thing? Is there a possibility, large or small, that what can happen is a good thing?
 (B). If there is a possibility that it could be "mayyyyyybe something good, mayyyyyybe something bad," as they used to say on Ren & Stimpy, wouldn't it be better to think about the favorable outcome?
 (C). Isn't Before Better? Isn't this a chance to better prepare for what's coming? And wouldn't that be a little more constructive that just plain worrying?

I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: Our brains are programmed much the way computers and smartphones are. If we want to change the way these devices are programmed, we have to reboot them, upgrade them, or sometimes get completely new devices. If we want to change the way our brains are programmed, the steps we take are actually much easier.

The only reason why it seems harder is because it requires constant repetition. The same way schoolchildren have to learn things by rote, by constant reminders of what they need to know, we have to learn how to change our thoughts and habits be reminding ourselves to do it every day. Even if we don't feel like it. Even if it's annoying. Even if it's a pain in the ass. We Must Make Ourselves Do It Anyway.

Our adversaries expect us to fold and worry because they derive pleasure from it. No, they shouldn't do that, but they still do. So prove their expectations to be wrong. Fake them out. School 'em. Boot 'em. Show them that nothing they do . . . not One Damn Thing . . . can make us feel bad about ourselves, make us run away, or make us feel like we're less than them. I don't care how LOUD they talk, how MUCH they show off, or how many fraaaaaaands they claim to have. They don't make the rules, and they don't tell you that you're less than they are. No matter what.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.

I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE AND NOTHING CHANGES THAT.

David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/05/change-programming.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-73781136765474497652016-04-23T19:45:00.001-04:002016-04-23T19:45:50.702-04:00Pause If You Must, But Never WallowHey All - Happy Passover to those that celebrate.

It is impossible to advance in life without meeting obstacles and setbacks. However, it's way too easy that this means "game over" instead of "handle it."

We Betas, being as sensitive as we are, often need time to reflect when confronted with such difficulty. Maybe we have to deal with anger, sadness, worry, anxiety, or a big stack of fear. And sometimes a time out is needed to process that.

However, it's a very limited time out. You can't do it forever. You'll risk paralyzing yourself with doubt, guilt, or other stumbling blocks. You'll be immobilized with hatred and contempt, and they'll chain you in a self-made prison. You'll be stuck living in the past.

How to avoid this?

(1). Schedule a Time. Maybe when you first wake up, maybe when you first lie down. Maybe a minute, maybe an hour, but keep it far away from anything else you need to do. We don't need this getting in the way.

(2). Use It Wisely. Don't just ruminate, obsess, or wallow. Ask WHY it's bad. WHY it bothers you. WHY it's wrong. And follow them up with some good BECAUSES.

(3). Contain It. Resolve not to let these thoughts dominate you. You still have a life to lead, and you don't owe it to anyone that wants you to feel bad.

But look what yoooooooou did! But look what yooooooou didn't do! But you were wrooooong! But you screwed uuuuuuup! I'm just sayinnnnnnn'!

Hear that? If that voice is coming from a real live person, you can be Bulletproof and block it without letting them get under your skin. That's not always easy to do. But if it's coming from inside your head, then it's very easy to shut it down, by comparison. You can mute, censor, reject, and silence that drivel anytime you choose. You just haven't yet because it's become a habit. But if you choose to inoculate yourself from these parasitic thoughts, you absolutely can. Contain them, shred them, reject them, and dispose of them.

You don't own other people's behavior, actions, choices, or thoughts. But you have exclusive domain over all of the above for yourself. Handle them like it matters! Don't let these things beat you. Wrap them up in a bow and Fedex them outta here!

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.
David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/04/pause-if-you-must-but-never-wallow.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-47251276334942040642016-04-17T18:30:00.001-04:002016-04-20T08:00:37.503-04:00There Are Friends, And There Are FraaaaaaandsHey All - Spring has finally sprung!

One obstacle we Bold Betas have is that we often just have a core group of friends instead of hundreds of thousands of friends. And despite how rude, aggressive, and abrasive our adversaries are, they seem to have throngs approving of everything they do. An unexplained phenomenon to be sure.

However, we must not be caught in the trap where we resent those with all those fraaaaaaaands, and I'll tell you why:

(1). Those guys are expert BS artists. They know how to pander and say things people want to hear, and they know how to target people who don't question it.

(2). Those fraaaaaaands aren't who you really want to associate with. Look at them - you know I don't need to elaborate.

(3). Anyone who truly loves and respects himself knows how to be alone and use it productively. These posers and panderers don't. If they didn't have that throng of admirers, they'd be destitute.

Yes, friendship is an operation far more dependent on quality than on quantity. Being fraaaaaands with, or liked by, a million acquaintances, hangers-on, fanboys, and followers, is meaningless compared to having deep, close, personal relationships with just a few good peeps who've seen you at your best and your worst, don't pass judgment on you, and accept you for exactly who you are. There's no need to sell out stadiums when you already have the VIP's in the front row.

Yeah, those other suckers will still flaunt what they perceive to be their reputation. And others might flock to them as if they're oblivious. When you see that, remember the above.

NEVER think that you are less than them because of what they have. Instead, accentuate what you have.

Still, NEVER resent them for what they have. Odds are more likely than not that what they have is nowhere near as great as it looks.

Do Not Deify. Do Not Demonize. Do Not Waste Thoughts On Them.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.

David Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/04/there-are-friends-and-there-are.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-35157598382876276062016-02-21T20:49:00.001-05:002016-02-21T20:49:38.165-05:00Scalia/GinsbergDavid Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/02/scaliaginsberg.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-28627842768720762662016-02-21T18:04:00.001-05:002016-02-21T18:17:22.547-05:00Other PerspectivesHey All - February's going from a deep freeze to an early spring. Not sure if this is Punxsatawney Phil's doing, or someone else's.

Big news in law and politics - the death of Senior Associate Justice Antonin Scalia. As expected, for reasons to numerous to mention, this touched off a political firestorm. However, what caught this blogger's attention was the statement made by Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. In terms of how they evaluated cases before the Court, they were polar opposites. In real life, they were, to use Justice Ginsberg's words, "best buddies."

The way our nation is so divided, this seems almost impossible. The way arguments on social media so quickly devolve into personal attacks, the way those attacks and their responses become so acidic and vitriolic, it's an honest to goodness miracle that a civil war hasn't already started. Say this word, you're a racist. Say that word, you're a terrorist. Say something I don't agree with, that somehow gives me the right to humiliate, embarrass, and insult you in public because I know everything and you need to be "taught."

But "best buddies?" Those whose opinions actually counted, whose findings could potentially become the law of the land, whose decisions actually had more substantial consequences than just hurt feelings . . . How on earth could they be "best buddies" under these circumstances?!?

Here are my educated guesses:

(1). Respect. Whatever they decided did not extend beyond the four corners of the written decision that the Court issued. They didn't taunt each other about how stupid they thought the opposing argument was over lunch. No posturing or posing, because someone just had to be a loudmouth. No finger pointing or name-calling at the seventh grade level. Never making it personal.

(2). Understanding. Ginsberg noted that after she read Scalia's dissents, in which he ripped apart the weaknesses of Ginsberg's decisions, she was able to make the final draft that much better by becoming aware of those weaknesses and covering them. No, it didn't mean she was bowing down to his superior intellect, it meant that she learned to write a better opinion after seeing the opposing argument.

(3). Boundaries. To expand on what's been stated in (1), there are times you, believe it or not, keep it in check. Maybe give it a rest sometimes. Maybe save it for another time. Maybe just because you feel that way is not carte blanche to start the great American debate all. The. Time. Cause. You. Feel. Like. It.

As Betas, we are often intimidated into remaining silent not to offend anyone. And then when we do work up the fortitude to say what we think, right or wrong, we are not always prepared for what could be an onslaught of opposition and criticism, because that takes even more fortitude.

Can you hold differing opinions with friends? If you're willing to abide by the above three suggestions, you most likely can.

But what if a friend or relative is not willing to abide by them when you are? Welcome to Beta Male Life 101!

They don't have to be as nice, as respectful, or as mature as a pair of Supreme Court Justices. And you don't have to associate with them if they won't.

Don't get it twisted, if they don't hold back from personal attacks on you, especially with an audience, you shouldn't feel guilty about knocking them down a few pegs. Nevertheless, no amount of proof will make these people change their tune, so don't expect to be a hero. Do only what is necessary to protect yourself, leave them behind, and find better people to associate with - you shouldn't limit yourself to only those who think like you do, but you should only permit people who can respect your views the way Scalia and Ginsberg respected each other.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.
David Allweisshttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/02/other-perspectives.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-71284738907221129082016-02-15T21:14:00.001-05:002016-02-15T21:14:59.869-05:00Love More Than Hate!David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/02/love-more-than-hate.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6152644662858634975.post-86070562402671582022016-02-13T15:46:00.001-05:002016-02-13T15:46:10.054-05:00Make Love Stronger Than HateHey All - Happy Valentine's Day!

This day is meant to celebrate love. Yes, it's also day when people are very likely to buy each other jewelry and chocolates. But it's primarily about love.

When you look at the world around us, through social media and otherwise, there are way too many reasons to hate. There are terrorists who hate America, and there are terrorist apologists that tell us that it's our fault for getting them angry enough to kill. There are ideological differences that divide our country, and there are "independents" who sometimes make excuses for the dividers. There are people who will never respect us no matter what we do or say, and there are other people who eternally enable them and excuse their behavior.

And I wasn't even talking about the alpholes - don't get me started, lol!

Yes, there is so much negativity, misfortune, and backlash in this world, it's a miracle that World War III hasn't broken out yet. There's so much drama in this world because, quite frankly, peace and respect just don't seem exciting enough. Some people develop high-conflict personalities because being at peace is just way too boring for them. Don't let them sell you on the "I'm only being honest" nonsense, because if they were ever confronted with that same exact honesty when aimed at their own failings, they'd throw a tantrum.

Ummm, Daaaaave? Not to criticize, but isn't this post supposed to be about -

One step ahead of ya - yes, it is about love.

Even with so much unpleasantness in this world, there are still people who don't look to cause drama and agita. There are people who really do care about us, are happy to see us succeed, and have an investment in our continued happiness. There are people who are proud to have you in their circles, and are honored to be in yours. They inspire you to be even better than you already are, and to make them feel just as happy as they make you.

This doesn't necessarily mean a romantic partner, though this certainly helps. That same kind of compassion can also be found with family or with a tight-knit group of friends. Respect. Empathy. Understanding.

As Bold Betas, it's tragically easy to forget those who are more worthy of our thoughts. If we're confronted with so many haters, yet lack the ability to successfully repel their attacks, they tend to give themselves top billing. However, when we become Bold and Bulletproof, we are able to drown out what those miscreants say and do, and then remove them from our lives. Then we are in a much better position to love ourselves, and by extension, to love others. To give and receive love in equal amounts. To create more thoughts of happiness to share, and reduce thoughts of the alternative.

So send those others on their way, and appreciate those who deserve to be in your life. Show love to those who love you. Show compassion to those who bestow it on you. Show appreciation to those who appreciate you. And let ALL OF THIS take precedence over anyone who doesn't care, or who thinks less of you.

Goodness knows, that's not easy to do. Negative thoughts have a way of making it tough, because negative people are so convinced that they're the only ones who are aware of reality. They just don't like admitting that they're the ones who make their reality that way. So let's beat them to the punch and put more love, and more happiness, in our reality.

I never celebrate Valentine's Day. I don't need a day to show that I love somebody, I already do that every day.

Oooooh. Ahhhhh. Ohhhhhh. That's amazing. Nevertheless, the holiday is here. So let's use it.

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.
David Allweisshttps://email@example.com://runninglaw-thefourpillars.blogspot.com/2016/02/make-love-stronger-than-hate.html


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New England and California autumns are quite different. Branchy, leafless rose hips in Connecticut and rose bushes in full bloom in Los Angeles.
A few things:
That car up there- the baby pink mustang- has a license plate that says "TULIPS." Yes.
Los Angeles is 80 degrees in November.
Camellia's are the most.
So is making lists of what you want your life to look like.
If you put vetiver essential oil on hair, your locks will smell so good for days and you'll feel a little bit like a gold dust woman witch.


text:
Introducing Dusty Pure Bronze C - #09-94941 A natural beauty with his gorgeous frosting! This boy is a "happy to see ya... let's go" horse with a…$6,000
Lad is a gentlman in every sense. He loves people and is a willing partner. He is aged to perfection! He has been shown, ridden in the mountains, h's also…$1,500
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Exceptional Gelding - I'm The Boss Man -Registered 7-Year Old - Black - 16 Hands - 1290 lbs. -Imprint Trained and Shown as a Yearling -Under Saddle but…$6,000
This filly will mature to be on the smaller side,14-15 hands,but extremely smooth and athletic. Stout body build,QH in stature. We wean at 5-6 months…$1,200
Marshal is a beautiful, 9 year old, Flea Bitten Grey Missouri Fox Trotter Gelding. He is just over 14 hands and has a nice stocky build. He has been riden…$1,600
Rodeo is a unique palomino grey. From a distance, he appears palomino but up close, you can tell he will grey out. He is a big bone gelding with a sweet…$1,500
Very pretty mare with great disposition and attitude. Very gentle, easy to handle, and loves people. for more info call Pat (573) 344-6325.$2,500


text:
This resort made the long trip from Chicago to Fiji worth it! My husband and I have done extensive traveling in the Caribbean but Qamea Resort was the most unique place we have ever gone. This "adults only" resort provides a combination of privacy and socializing in a setting that feels unreal. Our day usually began with a couple of dives. (We thought the diving here was better than the Great Barrier Reef!) The sites are so close that we were done and ready for lunch by 1:00! On days we did not dive, we took part in a waterfall hike or just went snorkeling. The snorkeling right off the resort is amazing. But what makes this resort so special is the PEOPLE--both employees and guests. We met people from across the U.S., New Zealand, Wales, and Canada! Every night we traded stories over cocktails before dinner. The employees welcome you from the moment you step foot onto the island! Many thanks to Lusia, Tania, David, Erik, Louisa, Lurita, Percy, William, Bubba, Katarina, and all the others working behind the scenes to make our week at Qamea special.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- An intimate and boutique Fijian resort catering to a maximum of 34 adults in 17 luxurious all beachfront and air conditioned bures and royal beach houses. Set on 100 private acres of lush gardens, jagged volcanic mountains, and a long white sand beach, it is perfect for honeymoons, weddings, spa retreats and incredible world class diving. ... more less
- Reservation Options:
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- Also Known As:
- Qamea Resort And Spa Fiji Hotel Qamea Island
- Hotel Qamea Island
- Qamea Island Hotel Fiji


text:
This is a repost from a popular topic- Can you change your will and estate plan during a Minnesota divorce so your soon-to-be ex doesn't inherit? Most divorcing parties do not want their soon-to-be ex-spouse inheriting. You should consider some measure of estate planning issues early on in a divorce proceeding. Minnesota Uniform Probate Code […]Continue reading
Tag Archives: Minnesota Wills & Trusts
Estate Planning in Minnesota and Your Digital Inventory-Make it Easy for Your Heirs
I originally posted this blog in August 2013. Readers appreciated the information and asked for a re-blog. The post relates to how you can plan to terminate your digital life after you go to the great beyond. I confess that I never much thought about my digital afterlife until I researched and wrote this article. […]Continue reading


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UM-ALU 4 AU45 L40 2202072 PHOENIX CONTACT Support, upper Part, Color: aluminum, Width: 45 mm Height: 28,1 mm
UM 72-FE BK 2977500 PHOENIX CONTACT Item foot, 72 mm wide, for mounting on NS 32 or NS 35/7,5, below profile..
ME MAX/16 2-2 TBUS DEV-PCB 2202542 PHOENIX CONTACT Deck hole pattern for the I MAX DEV-KIT for single base ..
EH 52,5 F-C CS/ABS GY7035 2201835 PHOENIX CONTACT Housing without hole connection, Color: gray, Width: 52.5 ..
ME 22,5 UT TBUS GN 2707385 PHOENIX CONTACT Housing with ventilation slots, bottom, Connection, cross section..
ME 12,5 OT-MSTBO GN 2906814 PHOENIX CONTACT Component housing, Upper part, Color: green, Width: 12.5 mm, Con..
MCO 1,5/ 3-G1R-3,5 KMGY 2278322 PHOENIX CONTACT Header, Nominal current: 8 A, Rated voltage (III/2): 160 V, ..
ME 45 UTM G BK 2901398 PHOENIX CONTACT Housing, lower Part, Color: black, Width: 22.5 mm
UEGM-MSTB GY 2908320 PHOENIX CONTACT Housing for electronics, to insert a printed circuit board, with male c..
EMG 12-LG 2907910 PHOENIX CONTACT Electronic housing, with universal foot, without screw connection terminal..
ME B-22,5 MSTBO YE 2914408 PHOENIX CONTACT Blind plug, for points of embornaje not occupied
CM125-LG/H 12,5/BO BK 2942894 PHOENIX CONTACT Complete housing with vents, Cross connection: without bus con..
MSTBO 2,5/ 2-G1L 1861057 PHOENIX CONTACT Header, Nominal current: 12 A, Rated voltage (III/2): 320 V, Number..
UEGM 22,5 GN S10 2914893 PHOENIX CONTACT Housing for electronic
UTA 159 2854018 PHOENIX CONTACT Universal DIN rail adapter, for screwing on switchgear
EH 35 F-C CS/ABS GY7035 2201832 PHOENIX CONTACT Housing without hole connection, Color: gray, Width: 35 mm
ME 22,5 TBUS 1,5/4P1S KMGY 2201732 PHOENIX CONTACT DIN rail connector for ME and ME-MAX, design width: 22.5 ..
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text:
- Free "Open questions" service to make inquiries regarding any subject related to technical textiles.
- Free technological watch service, which includes access to technical reports, studies, patent maps, calendar of events, etc. developed by AEI Tèxtils.
- Free participation at technical conferences organized by AEI Tèxtils.
- Free participation at regular networking meetings between members.
- Support in the preparation of proposals and participation in project consortiums, especially at European level.
- Technical and commercial consultancy, specialized in the field of technical textiles.
- Access to a monthly newsletter with sectoral news.
- Direct access to European technical textiles clusters, to search suppliers, partners, etc.
- Specific training service on technical issues.
- Date
- May 13, 2016