text:
Right there in front of you are some of the most tested professionals inside or outside of government. At any time, 24/7/365 TSA, DHS or GAO testers can and do test our officers' ability to detect items that could be used in an attack. Our belief is that rewarding excellent performers is one way to motivate a workforce with a deadly serious job to do. Conversely, not rewarding mediocre performance based solely on seniority is a way to motivate people to step up or consider other career options.
Yesterday, our Deputy Administrator, Gale Rossides testified before members of Congress on TSA's pay-for-performance compensation system. Along side colleagues from the intelligence and law enforcement communities, she clearly explained that our system provides incentives to the best performing officers. Nowhere is this more important than on the frontlines of our nation's efforts to keep its citizens safe. We thought you might find her opening statement interesting and thought provoking. For her more comprehensive, written testimony, click here.
Oral Statement
Before the
Good afternoon, Chairman Akaka, Ranking Member Voinovich, and distinguished members of the Subcommittee. I am pleased to be here today to discuss TSA's progress on our pay-for-performance system, known as PASS [Performance Accountability and Standards System].
I am honored to appear and represent the thousands of TSA employees, our Transportation Security Officers [TSOs], who serve to ensure the safety and security of 2 million passengers a day. These women and men are dedicated security professionals with one of the most difficult jobs in government. These Officers are the most tested in the Federal workforce. Contrary to what so often is the headline grabber about attrition, 22,000 of our Officers have been with TSA from the beginning. They have participated in the largest stand-up of a Federal agency in fifty years. They have stayed with us as we responded to the evolving threat by continuously enhancing the security process, while also building the infrastructure and the human capital system to properly pay, train, reward, and recognize their performance. They stayed for the mission.
There are two reasons TSA relies on pay for performance. Security is the first and foremost. Second, it is to instill a culture of high performance and accountability in our workforce.
Performance on the job has a special meaning for us. Let me be very direct. Our job is to stop a terrorist attack. Our Officers work in an environment in which 99.9 percent of the people they see every day are not a threat, but the threats against our aviation system remain. TSOs want to get passengers through the security checkpoint with a high degree of confidence that they have stopped anyone seeking to do harm—your safety is their priority.
How does PASS improve security? When you get paid more to do a better job, you do a better job. PASS is targeted to reward excellent performance. That is an incentive to perform at the highest level to which you are capable. PASS rewards the individual performance necessary to achieve TSA's organizational goals and that increases security.
TSA's pay-for-performance system is driven by validated data. Its performance metrics are standardized, measurable, observable and almost completely objective. PASS has been adjusted based on feedback from our Officers about what the real job is.
Our Officers have told us they want a pay-for-performance system because they know what is at stake: they want to know that their fellow officers are equally competent. But building a pay-for-performance system takes time. It takes employee engagement. It takes leadership. It takes flexibilities in the human capital system. It takes continuous improvement and it takes constant communication. But for us, it is essential. In my thirty years of Federal service, twenty-three of them with the General Schedule, I have never been more sure of anything: The pay-for-performance system is the best way in this post 9/11 environment, for TSA to manage and ensure the quality of persons on the front line.
The effectiveness of PASS is proven by the statistics. More than half of our TSO workforce has been on the job for four years or more. The 2007 DHS Annual Employee Survey validates that 94 percent of TSOs said the work they do is important. Eighty-three percent said they know how their work relates to the agency's goals and priorities.
TSA supervisors have a significant stake in the PASS program as well, and they are evaluated on how effectively and fairly they administer it. Successful implementation of the program is a component of their own PASS ratings.
At TSA, pay for performance ensures the technical proficiency of the people on the front line. Our goal is for our Officers to be switched on and always at the ready. Pay for performance drives their higher level of performance because their earning power is directly tied to their learning power.
The Senior Leadership Team of TSA is passionately dedicated to our people and the principles of pay-for-performance. We are committed to using the flexible human capital system provided under ATSA to make TSA a model performance-based organization. We are building a culture in which our workforce is actively engaged. It is through listening and working collaboratively with all of our Officers to find solutions that we will continue to meet our challenges.
While significant advances are being made in our technology and security processes, each day's success begins and ends with our Officers. They are TSA's greatest investment. They are everyday heroes. In this war on terror, the individual motivation of our Officers to excel is critical to our success. We rely on the best to do the best at this security job. Pay-for-performance is vital to sustaining this top performing workforce.
TSA Blog Team


text:
User Ratings
Q: What are User Ratings?
Read this thread.
Q: How do I get a high User Rating?
Read this thread.
Q: How do I get my own simfile category?
A: You will have to register on this site and you are required to either send me a private message or post in the category request thread in the Site Requests forum stating what do you want your category to be called.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Navy Federal Credit Union | Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, DoD
Since 1933, Navy Federal Credit Union has grown from seven members to over 7 million members. And since that time, our vision statement has remained focused on serving our unique field of membership:
Be the most preferred and trusted financial institution serving the military and their families.
+Rates are based on an evaluation of credit history, so your rate may differ.
++Rates are variable and based on an evaluation of credit history, so your rate may differ.
*Message and data rates may apply. Terms and Conditions are available.
To help fight the funding of terrorism and money laundering activities, Federal law requires all financial institutions to obtain, verify and record information that identifies each person who opens an account, including joint owners.
What This Means For You
When you open an account, we will ask you for your name, address, date of birth and other information that will allow us to identify you.


text:
Better than a Flu Shot!
Miss Beatrice, the church organist was in her eighties and had never been married. She was
admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea...
As he sat facing her old Hammond Organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his
curiosity about the bowl of water and its
Strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl.
'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it Wonderful?
I was walking through the park a few months ago
and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ,
keep it wet and that it would prevent
The spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.
Then you'll really love the death panels...
Do you need one of these?
WineWootaholic wrote:Do you need one of these?
I have to give props to that as it made me laugh. I want one.
Two Women at the Pearly Gates:
Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died.
Woman #1: I froze to death.
Woman #2: How horrible!
Woman #1: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
Woman #2: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
Woman #1: So what happened?
Woman #2: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
Woman #1: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd both still be alive.
Halloween is coming
A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...
when behind him he hears:
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP ...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
The coffin stops
bahwm wrote:The coffin stops
A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him.
'My name is Carmen,' she told him.
'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'
'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men.'
'What's your name?' she asked.
He said, 'B. J. Titsengolf'
The mailman's last day
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with big gift certificate envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At each of the houses on his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.
At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison. Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said, ........but what's the dollar for?'
'Well,' she said, 'last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day ...and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?
He said, "...F... him ...........give him a dollar."
The blonde then blushed and said, '.....But the breakfast was my idea.'
Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'
Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
A cowboy from Texas attended a social function where Barack Obama was trying to gather more support for his Health Plan. When Obama discovered the cowboy was from President Bush's home area, he started involving him by talking in a southern drawl and single-syllable words.
As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy said, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"
Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."
"Well Sir," the cowboy replied, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies, because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
"Oh," Obama replied, and he went back to rambling. But, a moment later he stopped and bluntly asked, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?"
"No, Sir," the cowboy replied, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse's ass."
"That's a good thing," Obama responded and began rambling on once more.
After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl said, "Hard to fool them flies, though."
Subject: HUSBAND DOWN
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.
Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'
On the PA system:
'Cleanup on aisle 25, we have a husband down.'
Subject: Workplace Math
I have never seen it explained like this, but it sure makes good sense.
Here it is as explained using a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint....it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
During a recent password security audit, it was found that a blond was
using the following password:
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
Hahaha...posted by a friend on FB. Yay for timely jokes:
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
javadrinker wrote:Hahaha...posted by a friend on FB. Yay for timely jokes:
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
That's only one, here are the others.....
1)It was just reported that Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up
some tips on how to beat Tiger!
2)Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She
said "I don't know exactly. but put me down for a 5."
3)Q: What do Tiger and seals have in common?
A:They both get clubbed by Norwegians.
4)What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a
ball 400 yards.
5)Ping just offered Tiger Woods' wife an endorsement contract pushing her
own set of drivers. They'll be named Elin Woods."the clubs you can beat
Tiger with.
6)"News travels fast. The Chinese are already making a movie about Tiger
Woods' crash. They are calling it "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant."
7)Tiger is now in trouble with his sponsor Gillette because he said that
"this was the closest shave I have had yet.
8)"It's not often that Tiger Woods starts out with a bad drive, hits a water
hazard, and ends up in the trees.
9)It's the first time Tiger's driven less than 250 yards.
10)What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They
went clubbing.
WineWootaholic wrote:That's only one, here are the others.....
A few more...
The police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. "I don't know exactly...put me down for a 5."
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
Nike decided today that they need to do a little re-branding for Tiger to lessen the blow this might have on their sales. They've decided to go with a new name, but wanted to keep it in the cat family -> Cheetah
Tiger was driving an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?
ddeuddeg wrote:Subject: Workplace Math
I have never seen it explained like this, but it sure makes good sense.
Here it is as explained using a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint....it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Gee this sounds familiar for some reason ....
MarkDaSpark wrote:Some math for Madwine:
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful in the future.
What makes life 100 percent?
If A=1, B=2. C=3, D=4, E=5, and so on for the rest of the alphabet F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Then, H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98% only
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96% only
But, A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %
And, B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
So, it stands to reason that HARDWORK(98%) and KNOWLEDGE (96%) will get you close, but ATTITUDE (100%) and Cabbage Patch Elvis(103%) will put you over the top.
Towards the bottom of Page 3, where there are really good ones as well (most of the page).
The Four Cats
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer,
The second man was an Accountant,
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.'
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,
'Spreadsheet, do your stuff..'
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff.'
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?'
The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.'
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet...
Ate the cookies........
Drank the milk.......
S**t on the paper.......
Screwed the other three cats.......
Claimed he injured his back while doing so........
Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......
Put in for Workers Compensation................and
Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.............
MarkDaSpark wrote:Towards the bottom of Page 3, where there are really good ones as well (most of the page).
I thought it seemed familiar. But this latest one does have some additional material. Not to mention it omits the Cabbage Patch Elvis reference.
And God created dog
The Story of Adam and Eve's Pets
Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'
And God said, 'I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves..'
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal.
And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail
And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'
And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'
And God said, 'I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased . . .
And Dog was happy. . .
And Cat didn't give a Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966) one way or the other....
Two Texans met one day at the fence that separated their ranches. One rancher bragged "It takes me all day to drive my truck from one end of MY ranch to the other end!" The other rancher said, "Yup, I had a truck like that once."
One winter morning during breakfast a husband and wife in northern Wisconsin were listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through. So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplows can get through". The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
Naked Cowboy
A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blonde haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?'
The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff ....
I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... So I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants... So I did.
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts...so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy.. '
'And here I am.'
Son of a Gun.
Blonde Men do exist
10 Things in Golf that sound Dirty .....
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again
Gotta keep this on the current page.
Not really a joke, just a couple of the highlight tweets of the year:
Tweeter: John Mayer
Tweet: "I need a pressure sensitive toilet seat that shuts off my wi-fi so I stop buying so many apps on the can. This is getting pricey."
Tweeter: Neil Patrick Harris
Tweet: "My first tweet, peeps. I apologize in advance for my slow learning curve. Nice to (sort of) meet you. It's amazing how quickly 140 charac"
It's been so cold this winter, that I saw a Democrat with his hands in his own pockets.
Retire to Alaska
Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets his groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there. 'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night, thought you might like to come at about 5:00.'
'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some of the local folks, thank you.' As Cliff is leaving he stops. Gotta warn you, be some drinking.'
'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em.
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'
'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! I'll be there. Thanks again.'
'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'
'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?'
'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.'
this really should be over in the Poli"ticks" thread, but they are too serious every now and then
Will Rogers was quite the cowboy, with all the wisdom of simple,
honest folk. His words still ring with common sense today...
Simple but Brilliant and full of truths! Enjoy!
Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash with his best friend, Wylie Post, was probably the greatest political sage this country ever has known.
Enjoy the following:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman . . Neither works. (Did he know Nallie?)
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot
him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old
The aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of the pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill the pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled heard. "Gee, Elmira," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
A businessman was in Japan to make a presentation to the Toyota Motor people. Needless to say, this was an especially important deal, and it was imperative that he make the best possible impression.
On the morning of the presentation, he awoke to find himself passing gas in large volumes, with the unpleasant characteristic of sounding like "Honda". Unable to stop this aberrant behavior, and in desperate need to stop the emissions, he sought a physician's aid.
After a full examination, the doctor told him that there was nothing wrong with him, and that he would just have to wait it out. Being unwilling to accept this state of affairs, he visited a second and then a third doctor, all of whom told him the same thing.
Finally, one medic suggested he visit a dentist. Although he could not see how a dentist would help, he visited one anyway.
Lo and behold, the dentist said, "Ah, there's the problem."
"What is it?" the man asked.
"Why, you have an abscess," said the dentist.
"An Abscess. How could that be causing my problem?" asked the man.
"That's easy," replied the dentist. "Why everyone knows ... Abscess makes the fart go Honda."
The tribal wisdom of the Cherokee Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount and get a different horse.
However, in government, education, and MBA corporate America , more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how their cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase
dead horse performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And, of course....
13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
I used to be into bestiality, necrophilia, and flagellation......
But that was just flogging a dead horse.
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a $100 bill. Who gets it?
The old drunk of course. The other three are mythological creatures.
A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car died. They set out to find help, and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he only had two beds, and one of the three men would have to sleep in the barn with the animals.
The rabbi said he would sleep in the barn, and let the other two have the beds. 10 minutes after the rabbi left, there was a knock on the bedroom door. The rabbi entered exclaiming, "I can't sleep in the barn, there is a pig in there. It's against my religion to sleep with a pig!"
The Hindu said he would sleep in the barn, since he had no religious problem with pigs. However, about 5 minutes later, the Hindu burst through the bedroom door saying, "There's a cow in the barn! I can't sleep in the same room as a cow! It's against my religion!"
The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, said he would go to the barn, since he had no problem sleeping with animals.
In two minutes, the bedroom door burst open, and the pig and cow entered.....
*This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.*
Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other scaffolding too.
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny witch to find me.Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
I hate that witch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.
Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the stupid barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little brat) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
California vintners in the Napa Valley area who produce primarily Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as Pinot More.
This thread has been quiet for too long, and I'll probably have to pay for this one somehow or other, but here goes:
Subject: A VERY Politically Incorrect Guy Joke
A woman who was beaten black and blue goes to the doctor.
Doctor: What happened?"
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp."
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. Whenever your husband comes home inebriated, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start swishing it around in your mouth. Just swish and swish."
Two weeks later she returns to the doctor, and looks reborn and fresh again.
Woman: "Doc, That was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with chamomile tea and nothing happened."
Doctor: "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps?"
ddeuddeg wrote:This thread has been quiet for too long, and I'll probably have to pay for this one somehow or other, but here goes:
Subject: A VERY Politically Incorrect Guy Joke
A woman who was beaten black and blue goes to the doctor.
Doctor: What happened?"
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp."
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. Whenever your husband comes home inebriated, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start swishing it around in your mouth. Just swish and swish."
Two weeks later she returns to the doctor, and looks reborn and fresh again.
Woman: "Doc, That was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with chamomile tea and nothing happened."
Doctor: "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps?"
I'm sure you WILL pay for it, as you said. But it was mighty funny.


text:
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text:
The natural fruit oils make this scrub very hydrating, but I do find that it leaves my shower/tub a bit slippery after using it. The scrub itself does a great job exfoliating your skin, and it makes me feel completely moisturized when I get out of the shower. The scent has a nice sugared lemonade aroma with a very light hint of strawberry. It smells wonderful while you're using it, but the scent doesn't linger on your skin or interfere with other scents you may apply after usage. Hint: Use this outside of your shower or bath too! This tub is huge at 15 oz., so I transfered some of it to a smaller jar and keep it on my kitchen sink for a quick exfoliating and moisturizing treat for my hands and cuticles.
It looks like a Slushie! As I mentioned, this product is packed with natural fruit oils, so I normally give the jar a good shake before using it to get the oils mixed in. You'll notice when you first open the jar, that the oils are at the top of the product.
I like to use a scrub once or twice a week during the winter months, because I find that they do a great job of alleviating any itchy or flaky skin that tends to occur from the cold weather and lower humidity. Exfoliating your skin also helps your moisturizer to absorb better, and brighten and smooth skin tone. Here's a look at the ingredients:
Ingredients: Saccharum Officinarum Extract (Evaporated Cane Juice), Punica Granatum (Pomegranate) Seed Oil, Euterpe Oleracea (Acai Berry) Fruit Oil, Vitis Vinifera (Grapeseed) Seed Oil, Prunus Armeniaca (Apricot) Kernel Oil, Extracts of: Citrus Medica Limonum (Lemon) Fruit, Fragaria Vesca (Strawberry) Fruit, Calendula Officinalis (Calendula) Flower, Opuntia Tuna (Prickly Pear) Fruit, Punica Granatum (Pomegranate), Euterpe Oleracea (Acai Berry) Fruit, Lycium Chinense (Goji Berry) Fruit, Morinda Citrifolia (Noni) Fruit, Aristotelia Chilensis (Maqui Berry), Sambucus Canadensis (Elderberry), Rubus Fruticosus (Blackberry) Fruit, Rubus Idaeus (Raspberry) Fruit, Citrus Grandis (Grapefruit) Seed and Lonicera Caprifolium (Japanese Honeysuckle), Citrus Medica Limonum Peel Oil (Lemon Essential Oil), Citral*, Geraniol*, Limonene*, Linalool*
Net wt. 15 oz / 443 ml / $25
100% Pure products are all natural and cruelty free. You can sign up for their eMail newsletter to be alerted of all of their specials, and you can find that at the bottom of their main page.
Giveaway: One follower will win a full-sized tub of 100% Pure's Strawberry Lemonade Body Scrub! Just leave your eMail in the comments below as your entry, and I'll leave the entry period open until Monday morning (11/14/11), at which time the winner will be announced in my Come Monday weekly newsletter. Note: Because the prize will be shipped from the manufacturer, this contest is only open to residents of the United States.
*Product featured and prize furnished by the manufacturer.


text:
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Compatible for NEC NEFAX 560 TONER BLACK
Track your order
I was pleasantly surprised. I was actually hesitant to place the order because the price appeared to good to be true. I opened a chat and the girl checked the box, told me that it was an unopened original part and I still almost backed out. In the end, I could not resist and I placed the order. The part arrived the next day, double boxed and perfect. I will not hesitate the next time.
Albert Neumann
Compatible for NEC NEFAX 560 TONER BLACK
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text:
Not applicable
The maximum number of trips applies to annual insurance plans. This is the most trips eligible for coverage during the year.
There is no Maximum Number of Trips with this plan.
There are no definitions for this plan.
1. General Limitations on Services
MedjetAssist services are not available to a Member if his or her illness or injury is a result of or is contributed to by the following:
- War, invasion, or civil war;
- Suicide, attempted suicide, or intentional self-injury;
- A Member's own criminal or felonious act;
- A Member's psychiatric disorder;
- A Member's use or abuse of alcohol or drugs as described herein below.
2. Limitations on Medical Transport Services
MedjetAssist Short-Term Membership medical transport services are limited to one (1) medical transport per Membership period, except for repatriation transports involving multiple enrolled family members requiring simultaneous repatriation. Under these circumstances, each family member will receive one (1) transport if protected under a Short-Term family membership.
Due to the high risk of sending registered aircraft and personnel into countries where the United States Department of State has issued travel restrictions, membership services are subject to exclusion in these areas.
MedjetAssist medical transport services are not available to a Member for any injury, illness, or condition existing at the time of enrollment where inpatient medical care has already been scheduled or recommended by a health care provider.
A Member traveling outside his or her Home Country for the purpose of seeking medical treatment, whether inpatient or outpatient, experimental or otherwise, is not eligible for MedjetAssist medical transport services for that specific trip.
A Member who is medically discharged from the hospital, or leaves against medical advice and is physically able to travel on their own, is not eligible for MedjetAssist medical transport services for the remainder of the Member's trip.
A Member with tuberculosis or other chronic airborne pathogens will not be transported.
Medical transport services will not be provided to any Member who has a diagnosis of, or is suspected of having, a Biosafety Class Level 3 (and above) pathogen as classified by either the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) or the National Institutes of Health (NIH).
A Member beyond 12 weeks intrauterine gestation will not be transported, and any Member with any extrauterine pregnancy will not be transported.
Medical transport services will not be provided in cases where the Member's primary admitting diagnosis is an inpatient psychiatric disorder.
Medical transport services will not be provided to any Member hospitalized as a result of the use or abuse of alcohol or drugs (illicit or prescription), including, without limitation, hospitalization for addiction, withdrawal, or complications of alcohol or drug abuse.
A Member who is hospitalized at the time of enrollment will not be eligible for transport services for that hospitalization.
A Member on an organ transplant list prior to enrollment will not be eligible for transport for that transplant.


text:
by Raritan
Feb 01, 2013
To ensure the secure transmission of classified and secret information, the U.S. Government has mandated that beginning April, 2013 all access to military, intelligence, and other classified systems will require the use of a limited-access computer network Secret Internet Provider Network (SIPRNet) token.
Even after organizations upgrade their systems for SIPRNet token access and issue hardware tokens, complying with the DoD mandate still poses significant challenges: How can authorized users quickly and securely gain access to multiple systems? How can users quickly locate a specific system? How can a user access systems in a locked data center or lab?
Building upon the industry�s first and most widely deployed CAC KVM solution, Raritan offers an enterprise-class Cat5 analog solution that gives government IT professionals the power to securely access and control servers and other network devices. This solution has been tested in multiple environments and allows classified server administrators to be SIPRNet -authenticated without losing any operational capability.


text:
Arsenal festive cheer at Whittington Hospital
Arsenal players paid their annual festive visit to children at the Whittington Hospital on Thursday afternoon.
The Club has a long-standing tradition of visiting the north London hospital at Christmas time and this year Thomas Vermaelen, Laurent Koscielny, Johan Djourou, Andre Santos and Per Mertesacker attended from Arsene Wenger's first-team squad, meeting young patients and their parents in Ifor Ward and handing out gifts.
Club captain Vermaelen, who was also involved in last year's visit to the hospital's general paediatric ward said: "It was great to be able to return to the Whittington Hospital this year, to meet the youngsters in the Ifor Ward.
"As footballers we're of course in an incredibly privileged position, and if we're able to spread a little bit of happiness at this time of year, then we are only too happy to do that."


text:
Sleeping Dogs - PS3
Release Date:August 14, 2012
Also on:PlayStation 3 PC Xbox 360
Viewing USA:Also on UK.
Realistically, you probably are not going to be playing much Sleeping Dogs after you complete the story once, and that sentiment echoes my feelings on the game as a whole. Sleeping Dogs is that kind of game that really is not exceptional in any way, but remains an extremely fun ride.
Super Gamer Dude
PlayStation 3
To be completely honest, I'm surprised to even see a copy of Sleeping Dogs sitting on my desk. Initially a True Crime game, it was cancelled and then eventually revived into its current incarnation. In other words, suffice it to say expectations were rather low when I first booted up this game. Despite my initial hesitance though, Sleeping Dogs is a rather good open world crime game in a market that is no longer flooded with them.
There's not really anything inherently wrong with Sleeping Dogs other than the fact that it stays very close to the mould created by the open world games that have preceded it. As is usual for these games, the core game play consists of driving around in a car that may or not belong to you, shooting some guys and doing some missions that contribute to a larger story that sticks to the same tired cliches that crime game and movies have been sticking to for countless years. Sleeping Dogs in particular follows the "Undercover cop questions his allegiances" plot just about as closely is possible, and while there are a few interesting characters involved, they can't rescue a terribly generic plot.
That being said, Sleeping Dogs is not without its unique elements. The melee combat system of the game, an afterthought in most third person action games, is the most interesting feature to be found in Sleeping Dogs. The system borrows its core elements from Batman: Arkham Asylum, allowing for blocks, counters, and disarms, along with a difficulty that slowly ramps up as you get further into the game.
In addition, while the story does tend to follow overused story beats, it takes place in a Yakuza infested Hong Kong, a far cry from the extremely generic American city found in your standard GTA type game. Even small touches brought about by this setting such as having to drive on the left side of the road instead of the right make the game unique and interesting.
On the other side of the coin, the excellent melee combat seems to have come at the cost of the gunplay. The moment you pick up a gun in Sleeping Dogs, you can almost feel the game taking a turn for the worst. Aiming never feels consistent, particularly when getting out of cover. The shooting isn't particularly terrible, but after spending several hours with the melee, it simply does not seem up to par with the rest of the game.
Realistically, you probably are not going to be playing much Sleeping Dogs after you complete the story once, and that sentiment echoes my feelings on the game as a whole. Sleeping Dogs is that kind of game that really is not exceptional in any way, but remains an extremely fun ride the entire time that you play it. In the case of Sleeping Dogs, the game has some extremely enjoyable core mechanics and a few great characters that rise to the surface amidst a sea of blandness.
|Submitted by
|Cheat Title
Nov 18, 2014
Secret Trophies.
Nov 18, 2014


text:
Luke 1977
Designer Luke has become well known throughout the UK for his cutting edge sports utility wear. And, since winning 'British Young Fashion Brand of the Year' in 2010, the Luke 1977 brand has also become a worldwide success. Check out FootAsylum's wide range of Luke 1977 T-shirt and Luke 1977 jacket designs today.
Luke 1977
68 Items


text:
One of the common things they had up until their latest release was the default desktop manager of choice. Both offered GNOME as their main option, along with fairly good implementations of KDE and other alternatives. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depends on how you look at it), that is no longer the case. Come their April/May releases Fedora will become the flagship implementation of GNOME3 and GNOME Shell, while Ubuntu will step into uncharted territory with its own developed Unity interface.
It is clear that many will reject both and stick with other distros which remain loyal to classic GNOME2.x. It is highly unlikely that many Fedora users will reject GNOME Shell to embrace Unity, though, but not so much that some Ubuntu users shall decide to ditch Unity to use GNOME3 and GNOME Shell instead. Because Fedora is currently the best and most current implementation of GNOME Shell, many are already attempting the switch.
Indeed, Ubuntu made a big impact on the Linux World and, for many of us, it was the host that introduced us to the exciting "Free as in beer and free as in free speech" OS. Users whose Linux experience is limited to Ubuntu and its derivatives may assume switching to Fedora should be smooth sailing, but that is not exactly true and can lead to frustration in the long run.
Fedora and Ubuntu are in fact different in many ways, so I wanted to provide a few guidelines which may help those of you making the transition. Please note that these guidelines are (despite the length of this article) somewhat high level. I limited the scope to a few areas that I consider essential for desktop users, which boil down to:
- Considerations before installing
- Sudo, Su and Root
- Add/Remove Software: RPMFusion, GPK and yum
- Make yourself at home
- GNOME Shell tricks and customization
- Hardware support and troubleshooting
- A bit about SELinux
So without further ado, let's get to it.
First thing to keep in mind: It's always a good idea to make it a progressive transition. If you made the move from Windows to Ubuntu in one radical jump, I am sure you got your fair share of frustration as you learned the hard way. If, on the other hand, you kept Windows alive and only moved to Ubuntu when you were confident you had everything you needed, learning one step at a time and keeping a fully functional system available, things were probably smooth and satisfactory.
Once again, Fedora and Ubuntu are siblings, but they certainly are different in many ways, so you don't want to trash a solid Ubuntu installation to install Fedora. Anything from installing Fedora on VirtualBox to doing so on a USB drive (recommended) is better than attempting to jump with no parachute.
One of the first things that will feel different to Ubuntu, which is a pretty fundamental change, is the fact that Fedora does rely on the
root account for administrative tasks. As a result, you will be asked to assign a password to
root as part of the installation process and only when you boot for the first time, will you be asked to create standard user accounts.
The default Ubuntu installation includes a disabled
root account, encouraging the use of
sudo for all things administrative. In other words, an administrator can do pretty much anything using her/his own password, both from the CLI and from the GUI. Some claim this is a security issue (perhaps you have read one of those endless discussions on
su versus
sudo?). On the opposite side of the spectrum, Fedora sports an active
root account while disabling all kind of default
sudo access.
What does this actually mean for an Ubuntu user landing on Fedora soil, you may ask? Well, impact varies depending on the interface in question. Command line users will notice quite a significant difference, being forced to impersonate themselves as
root every time they need to complete an administrative task. The GUI impact is not as obvious, but might still get a bit confusing for users with an administrator profile, for they will be asked to enter their own or
root's password depending on the task to be completed.
In terms of system administration, limiting administrative rights to the
root account is obviously not as flexible as managing a
sudoers list, but it is probably more secure and less prone to human error. Ultimately, both approaches have pros and cons, the most important thing is that both are available regardless of whether you are using Ubuntu or Fedora.
Let's see how it works with some real examples:
To become
root, one needs to use the
su command, as follows:
su root or
su -
From that point on, the end user would be on a
root bash session, sitting on
root's home folder, etc. Of course, becoming root is not a good idea unless it is strictly happening for very specific administrative tasks. In other words, you should not become
root for day to day tasks, even if that feels more convenient at times. There also is a way to use
su for a single command:
su -c 'yum update'
Such command would still require
root's password every time it is run, but would preserve the user session as it was. We will see what that specific command does shortly.
Alright, you have now installed Fedora and understand how to perform administrative tasks, next stop is to install your favorite applications and make yourself at home. Unfortunately, Ubuntu's Software Center or Synaptic are nowhere to be found,
apt-get does not work and even after finding a way to install things, you can't find the applications you are after... What do you do?
First off, it is always a good idea to update your system to the latest, most up to date version. In order to do so, you have a number of options. On the GUI side of things, there is your typical Update Manager, labelled Software Update under Applications > System Tools. If you are the CLI kind, it's time to get to know
yum. Ubuntu users will be familiar with
apt-get or perhaps
aptitude commands. Fedora users use
yum instead, which I find better in some ways. To learn more about
yum, type the following from a terminal:
yum --help | less
That's about as much as you will be able to do as a standard user. Updating your system will require admin rights, I usually do it like this:
su -c 'yum update'
See? We now understand what that command I mentioned earlier was meant to do.
One of the steps that is going to satisfy standard users the most in the long run is the addition of RPMFusion repositories. Fedora users are lucky to have RPMFusion, which includes a huge catalog of software and lowers the need to add as many PPAs as Ubuntu users are sometimes forced to. On top of that, Fedora users enjoy very current software in general, as opposed to the Ubuntu policy of freezing applications for every six month release window.
From RPMFusion own Website:
"RPM Fusion provides software that the Fedora Project or Red Hat doesn't want to ship. That software is provided as precompiled RPMs for all current Fedora versions and Red Hat Enterprise Linux 5; you can use the RPM Fusion repositories with tools like yum and PackageKit."
To add RPMFusion to your system, follow the instructions HERE.
With RPMFusion enabled, it is time to start modifying your system to your heart's content. There are two main ways to do this, from the GUI using PackageKit (labelled Add/Remove Software under Applications > System Tools) or from the command line using
yum. The GUI way to do it is pretty straight forward, and while PackageKit is nowhere near as user friendly as Ubuntu Software Center (as shown below), it should be easy enough for any kind of user.
Click on image to enlarge.
As you may imagine, I personally tend to use
yum instead. PackageKit is fine, but I tend to do things faster from the command line, specially when setting up my computer for the first time like we are doing here.
Time for installation frenzy! Behold the power of the command line as I install pretty much everything I need in one go:
su -c 'yum -y install gnome-tweak-tool gstreamer-plugins-bad gstreamer-plugins-bad-free-extras gstreamer-plugins-bad-nonfree gstreamer-plugins-ugly gstreamer-ffmpeg audacious audacious-plugins unrar java-1.6.0-openjdk java-1.6.0-openjdk-plugin gparted vlc gimp gimp-data-extras gimp-fourier-plugin gimp-lqr-plugin gimp-resynthesizer gimpfx-foundry yum-plugin-fastestmirror'
Wow, that's a long line! It may look scary, but it's all for a good cause. The applications that this command will install include:
- Gnome Tweak Tool: An absolute must under GNOME Shell, it will get you close to the amount of customization you were allowed in GNOME 2.x.
- Gstreamer plugins: All kinds of codecs that will allow you to play about any media format under the sun.
- Audacious and plugins: A great light-weight audio player, very similar to Winamp.
- Unrar: Can't handle .rar files without it, another must for me.
- Java and the Java plugin: Once again, pretty essential.
- Gparted: The awesome Gnome Partition Editor.
- VLC: Top Video Player in my list.
- GIMP and plugins: Priceless.
- Fastest Mirror plugin for
yum: Install faster!.
Obviously, there are several quite important bits and pieces that were not included. Here's how to get some of them:
NOTE: In order to configure some of the required repositories, the
wget command is required, install it as follows:
su -c 'yum -y install wget'
Flash Plugin
Start by installing the Adobe repositories.
rpm -ivh http://linuxdownload.adobe.com/adobe-release/adobe-release-i386-1.0-1.noarch.rpm
Now install the plugin as follows:
su -c 'yum -y install flash-plugin'
NOTE: You could always download and install the RPM from Adobe's site if Flash plugin is all you plan to install. Might as well be easier.
Chromium Browser
Start by adding the repository to your sources:
su -c 'wget http://repos.fedorapeople.org/repos/spot/chromium/fedora-chromium.repo -O /etc/yum.repos.d/chromium.repo'
Now proceed to install:
su -c 'yum -y install chromium'
Google Chrome
This one is a bit more involved, but still easy enough. First off, let's create a local
yum repository file for Google. Become root and open a gedit session as follows:
gedit /etc/yum.repos.d/google.repo
Once gedit opens, enter the following code and save the file:
32 Bits Architecture:
name=Google - i386
64 Bits Architecture:
name=Google - x86_64
Now install using the following command:
su -c 'yum -y install google-chrome-stable'
NOTE: According to my testing, the Google Chrome version on those repositories is pretty outdated. Probably best to download and install manually from Google.
Download the RPM from the application official SITE, installation is the same as in Ubuntu, but the notification icon appears in the intelli-hiding panel below in GNOME Shell.
Once again, the creation of a specific repository file is required, so open a gedit session as root as shown below:
gedit /etc/yum.repos.d/skype.repo
Now enter the following code and save the file:
name=Skype Repository
Now install using the following command:
su -c 'yum -y install skype'
DVD Playback Support
Install the following two packages first:
su -c 'yum -y install libdvdread libdvdnav'
Now, download and install
32 Bits Architecture:
su -c 'rpm -ivh http://rpm.livna.org/repo/15/i386/libdvdcss-1.2.10-1.i386.rpm'
64 Bits Architecture:
su -c 'rpm -ivh http://rpm.livna.org/repo/15/x86_64/libdvdcss-1.2.10-1.x86_64.rpm'
...There's more!
I think those few apps make for quite a good start, but in case you want more, you can find a very exhaustive list (albeit in Spanish) HERE. Thanks to the guys at FEDOREANDO for their awesome work through the last couple of years!
Ok, The jump from Ubuntu to Fedora can be a bit more difficult nowadays, as both are introducing new GUI interfaces. In my experience, appreciating Fedora 15 has a lot to do with getting comfortable with GNOME Shell. Let's see some things that will surely help in getting used to the latest and greatest from GNOME camp.
Tweak Tool
If you followed the previous section, you should already have Tweak Tool installed. This little application can cover lots of ground and make the transition from classic GNOME 2.x to GNOME Shell less traumatic.
As is the case with many GNOME 3 components and applications, there is a lot of development activity going on at the moment, probably getting things ready for the upcoming Fedora 15 final release. Tweak Tool is no exception, having gone through a few updates in the recent weeks. The latest version includes a five category menu:
- File Manager: Turn on this feature if you want to be able to manage the desktop as you used to in classic GNOME (Icons are visible, active right-click, etc.)
- Interface: Icon changes, theme changes... All good and fun.
- Fonts: Self explanatory enough.
- Shell: Clock, date and other settings... You can even bring the minimize button back!
- Windows: Window themes, title bar actions, etc.
GNOME Shell Themes
As I mentioned in a recent article, DevianArt's half-left is putting together some very impressive themes, all of which are now compatible with GNOME Shell final. Installation instructions are available on each of them, which you can download from HERE.
GNOME Shell Extensions
A few pretty cool changes that bring back some of the classic GNOME 2.x functionality to the new Shell. Anything from good old
Alt+Tab window switching to displaying the Power Off option in the menu by default is included here. You can see a list of the extensions available running this command:
yum search extension | grep gnome-shell
YES! yum offers a very cool search feature!
Install at your convenience, I personally recommend
Fedora is not as sleek as Ubuntu when it comes to hardware support. Having both run on the same machine, Ubuntu automatically detected proprietary hardware (My HP2740p Broadcom Wireless card) and suggested the download of the necessary drivers. Fedora would simply show Wireless as not available. Unfortunately, this seems to be an ongoing problem that is impacting other users (see the following Fedora Forum THREAD for further info) and the solutions available don't seem to work reliably. I personally couldn't get wireless to work on that machine.
Similarly, I had problems with Bluetooth (apparently an ongoing bug since F14), which was apparently detected, but not properly working. Here's what I did to fix it (as root):
systemctl enable bluetooth.service
Now start it:
systemctl start bluetooth.service
(That's assuming your Bluetooth device was properly detected, of course)
I also had problems after installing Dropbox, which completely messed up my repositories and pretty much rendered
yum useless. As root again, open the Dropbox repository file as follows:
gedit /etc/yum.repos.d/dropbox.repo
Now, edit the code in there, it should end up looking something like this (no repositories seem to be available for F14 nor F15):
name=Dropbox Repository
Given the length of this article, I will keep this one very brief. The idea is that SELinux may have an impact on your system performance. I haven't experienced that in Fedora 15, but did in F14 and specially in F13. If you are experiencing poor performance, you may want to check what the current SELinux status is by using the
sestatus command:
[shred@Fedora15 ~]$ sestatus
SELinux status: enabled
SELinuxfs mount: /selinux
Current mode: permissive
Mode from config file: permissive
Policy version: 24
Policy from config file: targeted
Click on image to enlarge.
Aside from performance issues, SELinux could also be blocking some of the applications you use (I had issues with empathy, as shown above), so if you want to change it to permissive mode as I did, or simply disable SELinux altogether (not recommended), you can easily do it as follows:
gedit /etc/selinux/config
Then simply change the
SELINUX value from enforcing to either permissive or disabled.
NOTE: The same can be achieved from the GUI, using system-config-selinux (part of policycoreutils-gui package).
Previous versions of Fedora suffered a bit from a somewhat poor and not very polished GNOME implementation, which felt a bit archaic when compared to Ubuntu and its derivatives. As the leading GNOME 3 developing distro, Fedora now enjoys a bleeding edge implementation of the GNOME Shell, which, on top of all the great changes coming with Fedora 15, sets the stage for a very successful release.
After testing Ubuntu 11.04 and Fedora 15 intensively in the last few days, I have come to appreciate the latter more and more. While Ubuntu developers have done an incredible job getting Unity (somewhat) ready in just a few months, it still feels immature. In addition, probably as a result of all that frantic development for Unity, Natty Narwhal is one of the less stable Ubuntu releases I remember. Fedora 15, on the other hand, is surprisingly stable for a Beta release.
My choice (at least until Unity grows mature enough) is pretty clear by now after getting to grips with Fedora in the past few weeks. It's a no brainer, really, as I now enjoy the best possible GNOME Shell implementation... and can't say I miss a thing from Ubuntu!
NOTE: Just to clarify, I have kept and still actively use my Ubuntu 10.10 and derivatives installations, I am just talking here about the idea of upgrading or installing Ubuntu 11.04.


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South African Airways Cargo (SAAC) implemented a new generation integrated web based system which will bring it up to date with technological developments within the cargo environment. This new system is called i-Cargo.
Phase 1 of the implementation will be on ULD Handling, Mail and Revenue Accounting. Phase 2 of the implementation is planned for later in the year where more areas will be included and a complete data migration from the legacy system called SAFRON.
"As aviation has developed into an electronically advanced business and with the advancements towards a paperless environment we are proud to have this new system in place," said Justice Luthuli, Acting Head of SAA Cargo.
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Shure BLX188E/SM35 Combo S8
Wireless system
- Dual UHF wireless system with 2x BLX1 bodypack transmitter and 2x SM35 cardioid condenser headset microphone
- Up to 3 systems in parallel
- Pilot tone
- Microprocessor controlled internal antenna diversity
- QuickScan frequency selection to locate open frequencies
- Bodypack with 4 pin TQG connector
- Plastic receiver
- Integrated antennas
- XLR and jack outputs
- Audio status LED
- Frequency range: S8 (823 - 832 MHz)
Further information
|Frequency Band
|Switchable Frequencies
|Removeable Antenna
|Polar Pattern
Many frequencies used today in our current UHF Wireless Systems were given for the use of mobile services (LTE). The operation of conventional UHF wireless systems in these frequency ranges is not, or only partly allowed. This change is referred to in the industry as digital dividend. In Germany for example the digital change-over will be on the 31.12.2015
Fortunately, most systems are currently available in the UHF frequency ranges and multiple systems with our Thomann frequency tool, so you can see in which frequencies the selected products are allowed and whether they may continue to be used freely without extra costs or registration.
Incidentally, modern wireless systems that transmit over the wireless frequencies of WIFI networks are not affected by the digital dividend. Please refer to the notes in our product descriptions.
Information on the supported frequency ranges
Here you can see which frequencies are supported by this wireless system and the countries in which these frequencies are allowed in the future for wireless applications.
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Your front door is the first chance you have to make an impression, as well as providing security for you and your family.
Choosing a door tough enough to stand up to all weathers is important, as repairs and replacements can be time consuming and costly.
This Bede Classic Door is manufactured from a composite GRP (glass reinforced plastic) and is a traditionally styled door with two long panels at the bottom and two long glass windows at the top.
The realistic woodgrain effect on the outer GRP leaf gives an attractive finish, and the high insulation foam core provides a higher level of insulation than timber or PVC alternatives.
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More commonly known as fibreglass, GRP stands for glass reinforced plastics, which is used to manufacture a number of products thanks to its strength and durability and weather resistant properties.
Part of the 'Secured by Design' range, this Bede door comes with an official Police security certification, as well as being tested to PAS23/24. Wind and water tight, the GRP manufacture of this door recreates the look of wood without any of the drawbacks, meaning it will not warp, crack, splinter or dent.
No treatment or painting is required; all this door will need is the occasional wipe with a damp, soapy cloth, making the Bede door a very low maintenance option. On top of the exceptional thermal insulation, the foam core also provides a superior level of sound proofing.
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