text:
We guarantee that the pictured item is an original Jaeger Le Coultre watch.
Two absolute values define watchmaking skill since the Middle Ages: accuracy and complications. The triggered the most important inventions and inspire even today fascinating developments. Jaeger LeCoultre has always played a big role in the history of clock complications. Established in 1833, the factory designed revolutionary devices for the fabrication of until then unthinkable precise movements with complications since the 1960s. Over 175 years Jager LeCoultre has produced more than 500 calibers equipped with complications. Today, the factory's workshops staff constitutes about 1000 employees, mastering over 40 professions and 20 high technologies. Craftsmen, engineers and artist combine their knowled and passion to compose and produce selected watches. They renew their skills in Vallèe de Joux from day to day - a region, that is seen as the paradise of watch complications for 200 years.
the model <<
We prefer bank transfers but also accept Paypal and cash on collection.
You will, of course, receive a VAT invoice for this purchase.
This item is taxed under § 25 A USTG (differential taxation).
Item and accessoires will be delivered as pictured. Manuals, papers, certificate cards, booklets and boxes are only included in the delivery if mentioned in the description and/or shown in the pictures. The pictures show the actual watch you are bidding on. All pictures were taken by Zeitauktion GmbH.
If the watch has been tested for water resistance, detailed infomation about the time and pressure used in the test can be found on the enclosed protocol. According to DIN 8310, a watch's water resistance is not permanently guaranteed. It is affected by the aging of gaskets or deformation of watch parts over the course of time. Please refer to the enclosed information about water resistance and have a look at the test certificate. In case there is no infomation on any specified water resistance level, the watch has not been tested by us.
As the item is being kept in a secure place, it can only be sold on inspection upon request and according to prior agreement.
We will answer all your qustions as quickly as we can - just send us an email to firstname.lastname@example.com.
We have a long-standing expertise in selling high-quality watches and jewelry. Please have a look at our feedback. We specialize in jewelry and premium quality watches by the finest manufactures.
We ship our watches and jewelery internationally using insured shipping and only the most reliable shipping services such as DHL, FEDEX, INTEX and UPS.
Every purchased item can be picked up in-store as long as the buyer has transferred the money beforehand or has agreed to pay in cash. Please make an appointment before your visit. We will be pleased to welcome you on our premises.
Immediately after your purchase, you will receive all payment information by e-mail. Your order will be dispatched with UPS or DHL within the next working day or within 36 hours after your payment has been received respectively. Incoming payments are checked several times daily via online banking and are forwarded to be shipped immediately. You will be surprised by how fast our delivery service is!
Dok: V.275-

subset: commoncrawl


text:
These are photos of an unfinished, production era resin casting of the Boba Fett Return of the Jedi Blaster rifle.
A new version of Boba Fett's BlasTech Industries EE-3 Blaster Rifle was created for Return of the Jedi. This Blaster Rifle is often referred to as the RotJ Rifle or simply the RotJ EE-3.
The Return of the Jedi Boba Fett Blaster Rifle is still based on the Webley No 1 Mark 'I' Flare Gun. A new barrel was added over the Webley with cabinet T-Track laid down its length. The barrel appears to be an unidentified found part, similar to the shaft of a jackhammer. Part Nos. 97 and 98 (Triple Ejector Rack) from a 1/32 Revell F-4E Phantom II model was used on both sides of the Webley to cover the engraved stamp (the one that reads "Webley & Scott MK I 1916). An ASI 4X20 Scope was used again for this blaster, but flipped 180 degrees from when it was used on the Empire Strikes Back Boba Fett Blaster Rifle. On the stock is a part from the 1977 Revell Visible V8 Model Engine, Part No. 92 (cover, starter gear case), and another unidentified plate cover. One of each was glued to both sides of the stock. There are also two Philips-head screws that were screwed into the butt end of the stock, one at the top, the other at the bottom.
Unlike the Empire Strikes Back Boba Fett Blaster Rifle, the Return of the Jedi Boba Fett Blaster Rifle is a resin casting. In addition to the resin cast "hero" blaster rifle, several foam rubber stunt blaster rifles were created.


text:
713-213-4286 firstname.lastname@example.com
This August, six senior nursing students and Pamela Hodges, associate professor in the School of Nursing, will participate in a service-learning project in Guatemala through Addicks United Methodist Church and What Matters Ministry and Missions.
Students will work with AUMC and WMMM at Casa Angelina, an orphanage right outside Antigua, Guatemala. Casa Angelina, one of the largest orphanages in Central America, provides access to health care, food, shelter and an education to widows and orphans. Students will also assist in construction work, cleaning, planting and interacting with the children.
The offer to participate in the project was extended to the entire nursing cohort, but participation is limited to six students. Hodges said a lack of funding is preventing many from participating. The total cost per student is $1,400, and the students are responsible for raising their own funds. So far, their efforts have included fundraisers through AUMC and reaching out to family and friends. They are also working on a proposal to reach out to outside donors.
"This will be the first opportunity of this type where the students are offered the experience to travel abroad during the nursing program," Hodges said. "We're hoping it provides a foundation to greater things, to other locations."
Hodges, leader of the mission team at AUMC, is dedicated to expanding students' knowledge and experience in their field.
"As faculty at the School of Nursing, I'm passionate about advancing the international service-learning opportunities to enhance the UST nursing students' personal and professional growth, critical thinking and global contributions," Hodges said.
Paloma Salazar, a senior nursing student who recently worked on a community service project at AUMC with 14 other nursing students, said she is committed to helping others achieve their goals while empowering them to make a difference.
"I believe this opportunity will be a life-changing experience in that it will allow me to grow not only as a nursing student but also as a person," Salazar said. "And it will help me gain the confidence that I need to uphold the reputation of my profession with excellence and integrity while engendering trust and confidence among my patients."
Even though the service project is outside the students' required coursework and does not count toward institutional credit, Hodges said expectations are high. Students are required to complete preparatory research and data collection, paperwork, go through safe sanctuary training through AUMC and document their experience through daily journaling and photographs.
Hodges and the students have big plans for the data collected from the project. They hope to disseminate the results at local, state, national and international levels, and use it for future projects.
While the project is not currently sponsored by the University's study abroad program, Hodges and other faculty members of the SON hope that students in future semesters will be able to receive institutional credit for their participation in similar projects. Other SON faculty members are working on additional study abroad opportunities for the nursing students.
There are also opportunities for SON to collaborate with the Social Entrepreneurship Program in the future.
"I envision this initial trip as just the beginning of a continued effort in which nursing students every year will have opportunities to use their skills and knowledge to make a difference with the underserved populations," Hodges said. "As one group of students begin by assessing, the next group may be able to implement various projects."
To support the nursing students' mission, contact Pamela Hodges at email@example.com or 210-823-4187.
All contributions made to AUMC in support of the nursing students are tax-deductible.
Educating Leaders of Faith and Character
Copyright © 2017 University of St. Thomas. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy | Clery Act | Title IX | Consumer Information
Please select one of the options below: Apply Now, Schedule Visit, or Request Info.


text:
You are logged in as:
After requesting your Tax Invoice online ,a PDF document will be e-mailed to you within 72 hours,to the e-mail address provided.
If a Tax Invoice has been successfully generated from the South African Airways Tax Invoice System, the onus rests on the recipient to ensure that his/her mailbox has enough space to receive an e-mail - with a PDF attachment; and that his//her service provider or exchange server allows for delivery of such e-mails. South African Airways, can not take responsibility for undelivered e-mails due to any other reasons beyond our control including the above.
Prescribed details required from the South African Revenue Service on a tax invoices
Tax invoices must ordinarily reflect all the following details (Section 20(4)):
Johannesburg. 21 February 2009
South African Airways (SAA) operations remain uninterrupted despite industrial action by the South African Transport and Allied Workers Union (Satawu).
SAA implemented a full contingency plan to minimise disruptions to passengers after Satawu embarked on industrial action, yesterday, Friday. 20 February.
The industrial action follows a dispute declared last week by Satawu. The trade union is demanding that the payment of retention premiums be extended to all employees, and that SAA immediately halts the use of labour brokers. SAA views the strike as unprotected and has filed a notice of motion for an interdict with the Labour Court which will be heard on Monday, 23 February 2009.
Nevertheless SAA remains committed to continued engagement with union leadership in an effort to resolve the current impasse. The airline trusts that the union will appreciate the importance of such continued engagement.
SAA will keep customers informed on an ongoing basis regarding how the strike may affect operations.
Issued by SAA Group Corporate Affairs


text:
OK, here's the scoop. If the U.S. would have switched to the metrics system in the 70s, this wouldn't be an issue. How many of you out there had to learn the metric system in school only to never use it…
From a marketing perspective, 3 ounces was easier to remember than 3.4. For the European Union, 100 milliliters was easier to remember than 89. So, behind the scenes, we've been allowing up to 3.4 ounces, but it hasn't been reflected on the web or in signage.
We've read your concerns here on the blog, so from now on, we'll use 3.4 on the blog when talking about liquid limits, and also make changes (as soon as possible) to the TSA web site. I worked with Lynn on this and she has crafted a new response for the contact center to use when communicating with the public. We are also going to send a message to the workforce as a reminder.
Some people have asked why we don't convert the net weight of the toothpaste to volume since they are different. Good question. The 3.4 container/volume rule was created to make it simple and streamlined for both passengers and our officers. As you could imagine, taking weight into consideration would be a wrench in the spokes. I'm sure the public doesn't want our officers using scales or conversion charts, etc.
I hope this has helped you better understand the 3.0/3.4 oz. conundrum.
EoS Blog Team


text:
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
I didn't see this one coming
So, they buried Susie.
A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the Cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became more impatient:
"Sir, If you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the cowboy just groaned.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police.
The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly, then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"
"Sam," the cowboy moaned.
"Where y'all from, Sam?" asked the Ranger.
With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Sam replied: "The balcony."
Y'know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks he will buy the fifth drink for you"
"Well" said the Englishman, "at my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Arrrrhhhhh, that's nothing," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house."
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims but he swears every word is true."Well," asked the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
"Not me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman. "But it did happen to me sister."
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know each others likes and dislikes.' He addressed the man, 'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?' Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ........... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
ddeuddeg wrote:A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the Cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became more impatient:
"Sir, If you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the cowboy just groaned.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police.
The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly, then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"
"Sam," the cowboy moaned.
"Where y'all from, Sam?" asked the Ranger.
With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Sam replied: "The balcony."
First guy: "I've got a big problem. I'm married to a wonderful cook, a marvelous lover, and the best-looking woman in town."
Second guy: "So what's the problem?"
First guy: "Having more than one wife is illegal."
Edit: Helps to read the jokes on the page before ....... before posting it again. DOH!
MarkDaSpark wrote:A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays in the bar until it closes at 2 AM, at which time he is extremely drunk.
When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up the stairs. Halfway up, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had a couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke. The broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly. But, he was so drunk he didn't know he was hurt.
A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he notices blood, so he checks himself out in the mirror, and sure enough, his behind is cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed.
The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering down under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.
"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?"
"I worked late," he said, "and stopped off for a couple of beers."
"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?"
"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"
"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of Band Aids stuck to the mirror."
It was a good joke the first time, but since it was only a page ago, I think you could have waited a little longer.
polarbear22 wrote:It was a good joke the first time, but since it was only a page ago, I think you could have waited a little longer.
Hoisted on my own petard!!! Teach me to skip reading a page.
Can't have this thread fall to page 2.
Found on the Refrigerator One Morning :
My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset----I shall be home before midnight.
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
An Irish farmer named Seamus had a traffic accident.
In court, the company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.
'Didn't you say to the policeman at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.
Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the... '
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question.. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road.... '
The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'..
Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'
'Now what the ^%*&* would you say?'
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss
them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of
catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer
her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but
succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.
He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they
became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with
her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date
said he could get the peanut out..The young man told the father to sit
down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and
told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.
The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted
that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, 'That's so
wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he
grows older?'
The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, I'd say our son-in-law.'
Cesare wrote:One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss
them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of
catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer
her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but
succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.
He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they
became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with
her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date
said he could get the peanut out..The young man told the father to sit
down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and
told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.
The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted
that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, 'That's so
wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he
grows older?'
The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, I'd say our son-in-law.'
On that note:
Mastercard Failed Commercial
A group of 40-year-old guys discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitresses there had low cut blouses and were very young.
10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good and the wine selection was good also.
10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.
10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel-chair accessible and they even had an elevator.
10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'
'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'
'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.'
'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'
She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'
While on vacation in Rome, I noticed a marble column in St. Peter's with a golden telephone on it. As a young priest passed by, I asked who the telephone was for. The priest told me it was a direct line to heaven, and if I'd like to call, it would be a thousand dollars. I was amazed, but declined the offer.
Throughout Italy, I kept seeing the same golden telephone on a marble column. At each, I asked about it and the answer was always the same: It was a direct line to heaven and I could call for a thousand dollars.
Then - I finished my tour in Ireland. I decided to attend Mass at a local village church.. When I walked in the door I noticed the golden telephone. Underneath it there was a sign stating: "DIRECT LINE TO HEAVEN: 25 cents." "Father," I said, "I have been all over Italy and in all the cathedrals I visited, I've seen telephones exactly like this one. But the price is always a thousand dollars. Why is it that this one is only 25 cents?"
The priest smiled and said, "Darlin', you're in Ireland now. It's a local call."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!!
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.
This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
And they say we Southerners aren't very bright!!!!
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Splash a little watered down rusty red paint on the sidewalk.
5. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
Be right back.
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.
Harold Schlumberg is such a person.
I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'? Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine.
Harold should be an inspiration to all of us.
Some musician jokes:
Q: What does a trumpet player use for birth control?
A: His personality.
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a crushed viola in the road?
A: Skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
A: Drool.
Q: How do you improve the aerodynamics of a euphonium player's car?
A: Remove the Domino's Pizza sign.
Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a trombone player?
A: A tattoo.
Q: How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one. She holds it up and the world revolves around her!
A wee bit late for St Pat's day, but I didn't want to hold onto them till next year, with Obama care I might not be allowed to live that long...wwa
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!' Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'The man said, 'I do, Father.'The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.' Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?''Certainly, Father,' the man replied. 'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.' The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'
O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'
Paddy was in New York, He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend,Finney. 'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'
'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'
'Just water,' says the priest.
The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'
The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'
So a man sits down at a bar, and while he's enjoying his drink hears "You're a very nice dresser."
He looks around, and not seeing anyone nearby is somewhat confused.
Then he hears "Nice haircut!"
"Bartender", he says, "Did you hear that? Where'd it come from?"
"It's the nuts, they're complimentary."
To fit the dress code at a "ties only" restaurant, a guy looks around for something to use as a tie but can find only jumper cables to tie around his neck. He asks at the door, "How's this?"
The bartender replies, "Okay, but don't start anything."
iByron wrote:Some musician jokes:
What do you call perfect pitch?
When you toss the accordion in the dumpster and it lands square on the bagpipes.
Why do Bagpipers always walk around when playing the bagpipes?
To get away from the noise.
How can you tell when a female singer is at the front door?
She can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
What would Jerry Garcia be doing, if he were alive today?
Knocking on the lid of his coffin.
What does the guitar player say when he gets to work?
"Would you like fries with that, sir?"
What do you get when you play country music backwards?
Your dog comes back to you, you mother comes back to life, your brother gets out of prison.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age Music.
If you drop an entertainment lawyer and a trombone off a building, what do you get?
What's the difference between a guitar player and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground.
They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."
The second hunter says" I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says "There's this old automobile transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see". So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.
They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them..
As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jumped in head first.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up. "Say there", says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"
The first hunter says " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"
The old farmer said "Why that's impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!"
Curtis & Harry saw an ad in the The Oxford Eagle Newspaper in OXFORD, MS. and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."
Curtis & Harry replied, "Well, then just give us our money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."
The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?" Curtis said,
"We gonna raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!" Leroy said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Harry at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked, "What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"
They said, "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."
Harry said, "Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898."
The farmer said, "My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"
Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."
My one-day employment
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
A good find for many retirees,
I lasted less than a day......
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,
Unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,
Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and
welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
So I replied,
'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,
I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice.
Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.
Motto of the Louisiana Department of Education:
"At Least We Aren't Mississippi!"
[I grew up in Louisiana, so I can say that!]
Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.
Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....
You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Remember that car you promised me?
Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"
Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?"
"Here it comes."
some new, and maybe a few old ones..
The Importance of Walking
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is.
I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,........
just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
Scotch with two drops of water
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."
The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.'
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you.. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming up,' says the bartender
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming right up,' the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'
The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.
A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today.
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
You are not sure these are jokes.
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The man says, 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have a football.'
Man - 'That's nice.'
Boy - 'Want to buy it ?'
Man - 'No, thanks.'
Boy - 'My dad's outside.'
Man - 'OK, how much?'
Boy - ' $150'
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy - 'Dark in here.'
Man - 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have football boots.'
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'
Boy - '$250'
Man - 'Sold.'
A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, 'Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer.
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and boots.'
The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Boy - ' $400'
The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.'
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that again you little The Strangers (2008) You're in my cupboard now.'
Bubba is driving down a back road in Alabama ..
A sign in front of a restaurant reads:
Lobster Tail and Beer
"Lord a'mighty," he says to himself, "my three favorite things!"
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lord... and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'
And the moral of this story is:
*Always keep your condoms in your car.*
A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about gettin' me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?
The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your
kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up
and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips
out the door.
Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.
The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me ... I'm collecting disability."
WineWootaholic wrote:
edit: not really a joke, but couldn't think of the right place to share it...
So don't put it in the clean and interesting jokes thread, as this is not interesting or a joke.
OK, a few photo shopped photos...but only a few
Otherwise, I could post it in the political thread
A U.S. Airforce Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50%-50%.
A lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.
The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
The room fell silent.
We love the enlisted man.
A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.
So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic.
Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'.
He read the manual but didn't find any useful information on how to disengage himself. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success.
Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line with his cell phone (Thank god for cell phones!).
"Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"
"Don't worry," replied the customer service rep, "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons."
Have a nice day.....
Not sure if there's really another "stimulus" check coming, but just in case:
Just in Case You Get a Check...
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program.
I'll explain it using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia?
A. Shut up or you don't get your check.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China.
2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia.
3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala.
5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.
Or, you can keep the money in America by:
1. spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2. going to baseball or football games, or
3. hiring prostitutes, or
4. buying cheap beer or
5. getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-American-owned businesses still operating in the US.
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.
Friendship ~ None of that Sissy The Strangers (2008)
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute little smiley faces on this ~ Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1.. When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3 When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When you are scared ~ I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.
5. When you are worried ~ I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.
7.. When you are sick ~ Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you up.
9. This is my oath .... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask ~ because you are my friend.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.


text:
Ray's Roof Solo
Foreward by Tom Randall
As many people know, the first ascent of Ray's Roof was done by the visiting american, Ray Jardine. A pioneer of hard, burly cracks in the US, it was no surprise that he managed to put up a "real fighter" on God's own rock. Much like many of his rarely repeated U.S. offwidths, he gave his Baldstones route a fairly modest grade of 5.11c, which comes in around E4. I'm guessing that he never ventured over to Ramshaw to see how Ramshaw Crack (at the same grade, but not difficulty!) compared....
Over the following decades, Ray's Roof saw the odd repeat by local obsessives and crack deviants. However, it wasn't until Dawes, Plant and Woodward decided to have a very public tussle with this roof crack that it really began to build a reputation. These demi-gods were thoroughly shut down and shut out -even the enigmatic Dawes with his 3D (or is that 4D??!) brain couldn't work out an appropriate sequence. Tales of hidden pebbles, gardening glove ascents and missing chockstones only added to the mystery of yet another desperate Jardine test-piece.
It wasn't until myself and Pete Whittaker headed over to the Baldstones to climb Ray's Roof in 2008, that the spell of this route started to break. After working out a more reasonable sequence of moves and passing these on to other local climbers, a number of stylish ascents followed over the next couple of years. Hearing of even the crimp-master personified - Ryan Pasquill - ascend this beauty, we knew it was time to set the next challenge. No ropes, no cams ... just some pads, friends and a load of finger tape.
Pete and I have described each other's ascents, so you can tell what's going on inside the twisted mind of an offwidther. It's not pretty, it's not very complimentary and it's certainly not fair. Enjoy:
Tom Whittaker: So here we were again, sat underneath Ray's Roof. Our last soloing attempt had been aborted over a year ago after I'd catapulted over Pete's mum's head in an over-eager handjam dyno and the winds had picked up to near hurricane levels.... This time though, it was going to be different; we'd spent countless hours hanging by our feet in offwidths around Europe and picked off most of the hardest that anyone could throw at us. We felt confident.
Pete stepped up to the plate first, mainly because I let him. Mostly with these tough offwidths it's best to let your adversary go first as they'll waste untold amounts of energy working the beta out for you and perfectly lining all the best jams with chalk. Unfortunately, Pete looked really rather at ease on his warm-up attempt and pushed straight on for the leg-jam rest. As he's quite a bit weaker than me, he tends to hang around on his feet considerably more, so my hands rubbed in glee as I watched him slowly look more tired in this position. As with most offwidths, it's a considerable advantage to have small knees and large fists; something Pete is extremely well endowed with. Obviously as this makes most offwidths hugely easier for him, I try to employ ample amounts of tight rope (so he can't move up), bad beta (so he falls off), spit in his chalk (for poor friction) and demoralising shouts (come on Pete, just fall off so we can all go home...). He was too fast for me this time though - my calls of "it's starting to rain" and "I think I've just seen a buzzard nesting in the break" did little to stifle his enthusiastic jams through the crux. Damn, he'd just made the first solo ascent; as a bloody warm-up.
Pete Whittaker: We were back - taping up at the bottom of Ray's pondering the best way to start it.
Without the "Staffordshire Reach" it is impossible to reach into the good part of the crack from the good foot and hand holds and so most people who live outside of Staffordshire have to find a different way to get into the crack. Some things just aren't fair are they?!
As Tom can actually only jam, he couldn't use my safer crimp beta to get into the crack. As a result he had to take the bolder flake approach on the left, which seeing as though he is getting on a bit, I thought was a fine effort. This approach is fine when leading the route, but when soloing it could probably leave you over at Gib Torr if you got it wrong, as it involves a massive cut loose and swing from a horizontal position with your head actually slightly lower then your feet.
After getting through this section without any of the mishaps of last time, which involved a dismount face first into the grass slope, he crossed the roof section with relative ease. On approaching the lip he realised the offwidth genetics that had been passed on by his mother and father were all wrong and his mini-fists didn't fit to well, so had to drop off for a re think and more importantly - a re-tape.
After redoing his tape job, which now looked more like a plaster cast, he set off again. On reaching the lip he managed to get a better seated jam, went hunting for dung at the back of the crack and pushed on. After a lot of shuffling, followed by some well executed randy humping, he found himself halfway round the lip with a dodgy knee jam. I gave no sympathy to him here as he does have skinny knees (a useful offwidthing tool) so watched and went for the arms folded, classic "British Spotting Technique" as he struggled to get a knee jam seated properly and grunt up to the top.
With relief and "an emotional experience" he eventually landed himself on the funnel and left the Staffordshire boys standing at the bottom with their chins on the floor!


text:
Blast this sequence against all of PDB Archive.
In each cluster, the chains are sorted (i.e. ranked) according to the following criteria (in this order):
1/resolution - R-value
This ranking has the following implications:
The internal number of the sequence cluster used for unique identification.
In the table for each entity, view a list of similar sequences by selecting the link associated with
the percentage cutoff.
View more detailed documentation on the redundancy
reduction and
procedure used by
RCSB PDB (citation) is managed by two members of the Research Collaboratory for Structural Bioinformatics: Rutgers and UCSD/SDSC
RCSB PDB is a member of the
The RCSB PDB is funded by a grant (DBI-1338415) from the
National Science Foundation, the
National Institutes of Health, and the
US Department of Energy.


text:
- Home
- College (A-M)
- Kansas
- Shop By Category
- Bags & Wallets
- Kansas Hoodie Sling Purse
How about a bag line that looks and feels like you�re favorite hoodie sweatshirt? Our Hoodie line is just that! Features a new shape with the Hoodie Bowler. This line features metal grommets, hoodie lacing, a working kangaroo pocket, white ribbing and zig-zag stitching. Dimensions L 15.5 x W 4 x H 12.
Officially Licensed Product By: ProFanity
Related Items
Price: $47.99
Price: $47.99
Price: $36.99
Price: $26.99
Price: $46.99
Price: $24.99


text:
Finch Apartments - Twin Room - at Karakoy/Galata
Maximální počet hostů2
Počet místností1
Velikost85 m²
Floor No.
- Vhodné pro rodiny s dětmi
- Internet/WiFi
- Klimatizace
- Pračka / sušička
- Televize
- Parkování k dispozici
- Uzamykatelný pokoj
- Balkón/terasa
Accommodation summary
|Serce Sokak, 34425 Istanbul, Turecko
|Typ nemovitosti
|Soukromý pokoj
|Ident. objektu
Whether you are visiting Istanbul for business, pleasure or to discover this enchanting city, your hosts look forward to facilitating your stay with efficiency, local networking and extensive international experience. In addition to our traditional Turkish hospitality, Finch hosts have lived and worked across Europe, Africa, the United States, Middle-East and Asia, while being equally knowledgeable about the secrets and charms that this city has to offer. We will be happy to engage in a language of your choice, including French, English, German, Arabic, Farsi, Turkish and other languages as may be needed.
Karakoy (Galata Port), one of the oldest districts of Istanbul, is located close to the center of the old city and is well connected with rail transport systems. Over a dozen historical Churches and Mosques are within 250 m (800 ft) of Finch apartments. Tophane tramway stop is a 3 min walk while Karakoy tramway stop and ferry station are 4 min walk away. The tramcar travelling South reaches Topkapi Palace after 3 stops and Sultanahmet Square is the next stop. The tramcar, thru an intersection change after 10 stops, gets you to the LRT system for a direct voyage to Ataturk Airport. The tramcar travelling North reaches Kabatas where thru a transfer to the funicular, it is possible to reach Taksim square and North end of Istiklal avenue. By taking the 150 year old Tunel funicular which is 5 min away, or by a 15 min walk, one can get to the South end of Istiklal Avenue. A major historical mark of Istanbul, the Genovese Galata Tower is 400m away.
Domovní řádCheck in from 14:00 o'clock
Check out until 12:00 o'clock
Cancellation and prepayment policies vary according to room type. Please enter the dates of your stay and check what conditions apply to your preferred room.
One child under 2 years stays free of charge when using existing beds.
One older child or adult is charged EUR 20 per person per night in an extra bed.
The maximum number of extra beds in a room is 1.
There is no capacity for baby beds in the room.
Any type of extra bed or crib is upon request and needs to be confirmed by management.
Additional fees are not calculated automatically in the total cost and will have to be paid for separately during your stay.
Pets are not allowed.
Please note that all public and private indoors areas are non-smoking. Smoking is permitted only in terrace.
Accepted credit cards: American Express, Visa, Euro/Mastercard, Diners Club, JCB, Discover, UnionPay debit card, UnionPay credit card
The hotel reserves the right to pre-authorize credit cards prior to arrival.
|Weekly rate for up to 2 guests
|177 €
|Monthly rate for up to 2 guests
|582 €
|Cena za více než 2 ubytované(ých)
|8 € Cena za osobu/noc navíc
|Příjezd po
|Check-in before
|Odjezd před
|Stornovací podmínky
Ohodnoďte tomuto hostiteli i další ubytování
We booked our room with Wimdu and we were more than satisfied! The apartment was exactly as described, the host was very kind. I also liked that we had direct contact with the host the minute we booked the room. I would totally recommend it!
We had a lovely time staying in Finch Apartment - Double Room. The correspondence with Onder prior to arrival was excellent. The location is convenient. The flat was equipped well with everything we need for our stay - the only place to relax after walking around Istanbul all day. very easy access to Metro . many shops and cafes nearby.The apartment safe to walk late in the evening.
location is very convenient and well served by public transport, the apartment was clean and cozy. Moreover, Onder is a perfect host, he made our check in and check out smooth and easy. He has been very kind to us. little improvement needs for WiFi signal with clothes iron placed in the apartment that is makes the place 100% perfect, however I recommend this place. Thank you Onder
- Ověřenou kvalitu ubytování
- Prověření každého hostitele
- Bezpečné platby prostřednictvím SSL šifrování


text:
Overweight in adults is defined as a body mass index (BMI) greater than or equal to 25. Obesity in adults is defined as having a BMI greater than or equal to 30. In children, being overweight or obese is based on being above normal ranges on growth charts. Being overweight or obese occurs when the amount of calories you take in is consistently greater than the number of calories you use during activity and basic bodily functions.
Complications of Obesity
Being obese can increase your risk of early death and shorten life expectancy.
Other complications of untreated obesity include:
- Decreased energy
- Coronary artery disease (CAD)
- Increased risk of blood clots
- Increased risk of stroke
- High cholesterol and triglycerides in the blood
- High blood pressure
- Type 2 diabetes
- Liver disease
- Acute or chronic pancreatitis
- Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD)
- Gallstones
- Joint problems, back pain
- Increased risk of certain cancers, such as liver , kidney , thyroid , colon , and rectal
- Increased risk of death from cancer
- Gout
- Infertility
- Sleep apnea
- Poor self-image, depression
Being overweight can also affect pregnancy. Some complications include:
- High blood pressure during pregnancy—preeclampsia
- Gestational diabetes
- Depression during your pregnancy
- Depression after your baby is born— postpartum depression
You may also experience problems during labor and deliver, having a baby with a high birth weight, or with birth defects.
Revision Information
- Reviewer: Kim A. Carmichael, MD
- Review Date: 03/2016 -
- Update Date: 03/15/2015 -


text:
2017 Long Range Weather Forecast for Battle Creek, NE
Buy the Complete Long Range Weather (Nov. 2016 - Oct. 2017)
Complete 2017 Long Range Weather Forecast for the Heartland Region, November 2016 to October 2017 includes week-by-week details. Instant access via digital download!
Search for Other Locations
How to Read Long-Range Weather Forecasts
Long-range predictions show weather trends in temperatures and precipitation. For example, will the winter be colder or warmer than average? Will there be more or less snow than what's typical for your area? Our famous predictions (traditionally 80% accurate) are made 18 months in advance, and meant to help you make more informed decisions for long-term planning.
Here on Almanac.com, we provide free long-range forecasts for the next 30 to 60 days covering U.S. and Canadian regions. Find all 12 months of predictions in the annual Old Farmer's Almanac.
Free 2-Month Weather Forecast
JUNE 2017: temperature 70° (2° below avg.); precipitation 2.5" (2" below avg.); Jun 1-6: A few t-storms; cool, then warm; Jun 7-11: Isolated t-storms, cool; Jun 12-16: Sunny, cool; Jun 17-24: Scattered t-storms, turning hot; Jun 25-30: Showers, then sunny, cool.
JULY 2017: temperature 76° (1° below avg.); precipitation 6" (2" above avg.); Jul 1-4: Sunny, turning hot; Jul 5-11: A few t-storms, turning cool; Jul 12-15: Sunny, warm; Jul 16-23: T-storms, then sunny, cool; Jul 24-31: A few t-storms, cool.
Annual Weather Summary: November 2016 to October 2017
Winter will be milder and drier than normal, with near- to above-normal snowfall. The coldest periods will be in early to mid- and mid- to late January and early February. The snowiest periods will be in mid- to late November, mid-January, and early February.
April and May will be warmer and drier than normal.
Summer will be cooler than normal, with the hottest periods in mid- to late June, early July, and early to mid-August. Rainfall will be below normal in the north and above normal in the south.
September and October will be slightly cooler and rainier than normal.
About the Heartland Region
The Heartland long range weather region includes all or part of the following states: ILLINOIS (Alton, Galesburg, Moline, Quincy, Rock Island), IOWA (Cedar Rapids, Davenport, Des Moines, Sioux City, Waterloo), KANSAS (Kansas City, Olathe, Overland Park, Topeka, Wichita), MISSOURI (Columbia, Independence, Kansas City, Saint Louis, Springfield), NEBRASKA (Bellevue, Fremont, Grand Island, Lincoln, Omaha), SOUTH DAKOTA (Canton, Lennox, North Sioux City, Vermillion, Yankton), WISCONSIN (Baraboo, Fitchburg, Madison, Middleton, Monroe).
Heartland Neighboring Regions
Here are the regions that neighbor the Heartland long range weather region:


text:
Enlarge / Alternate Images
Satin Smooth Skin Preparation Cleanser
Use this antiseptic cleanser to prepare the skin for a hygienic and comfortable waxing service. Unique formulation opens pores for easy hair removal. Helps control post-depilatory irritation and redness and is also suitable for pre-electrolysis and piercing treatments. 16.9 oz bottle with pump.


text:
Your Account
Creating web pages that are displayed correctly on mobile devices seems to be the way forward in the web development world. Web traffic originating from mobile devices is greater than from desktops. In order to reach a wider range of users, companies must prioritize the development of web pages that are mobile browser- friendly.
A practical hands-on guide with plenty of examples to show the power and simplicity of the framework's features. It is easy to create different grid arrangements for your site, as well as produce menu bars with little effort. You will learn to show and hide elements on mobile or desktop views. Write once and the code will be compatible for all browsers and display sizes.
The book walks you step-by-step from downloading and installing Foundation 4 to building a responsive website in a few hours. You can build websites based on flexible grid structure, include some basic elements (images, panels, buttons, text, bars, alerts, and so on) in it and assign complex behaviors to them. Goodies such as progress bars, navigation menus, image sliders, tooltips, dropdown menus, and many others can be created with a few lines of HTML and CSS. This helpful guide will enable you to build responsive websites that display properly on all desktop or mobile browsers.
Get to grips with a new technology, understand what it is and what it can do for you, and then get to work with the most important features and tasks. A quick and easy guide that follows a practical approach to rapidly create responsive web pages using Foundation 4 framework, following the mobile-first philosophy.
If you are a web developer who wants to get the most out of your HTML5/CSS/JavaScript skills, this book is ideal for you. It is assumed that you will have some experience with these languages, but for those who don't, you can also be up and running in an instant.
© 2016, O'Reilly Media, Inc.
(707) 827-7019(800) 889-8969
All trademarks and registered trademarks appearing on oreilly.com are the property of their respective owners.


text:
A turned and cut brass torchiere sconce with a banded column and chamfered rectangular backplate.
Overall: 9" h. x 3-1/4" w. x 3-3/4" d.
Backplate: 4-5/8" h. x 3-1/4" w.
UL listed for use in dry environments
Single candelabra socket, maximum 60 watts
2" x 3" vertical junction box recommended
For other configurations and sizes, see our Tess Family.
Burnished Brass, Burnished Nickel, Dark Antique Brass, Dark Pewter, Dark Waxed Bronze, German Silver, Light Antique Brass, Light Pewter, Medium Antique Brass, Oil Rubbed Bronze, Polished Brass, Polished Nickel, Satin Nickel
View Finishes
Manufactured using 95% recycled brass


text:
The Yoko theme is simple, elegant, and beautiful. A responsive layout optimizes the theme for mobile devices. To make your blog posts more interesting you can use different kinds of post formats like gallery, image, video, aside, link or quotes. And to customize the theme, choose your own background, link color, and header image.
Custom Background, Header, and Link Color
Want to make Yoko the perfect theme for you? Replace the default background with your own custom background or a flexible-width custom header. You can even change the link color from Appearance → Theme Options.
Featured Image Headers
Yoko also supports Featured Image Headers — if you set a Featured Image on a post that is greater than
1102 pixels wide and
350 pixels tall, it will display on single posts, replacing the custom header.
Custom Menus
Yoko supports two custom menu in the header. One above the header image and the other just below. The theme will fall back to display your pages if the Primary Navigation menu is not configured and saved. You also have the option of adding a menu to the sidebar using a Custom Menu widget.
Widget Areas
Yoko is widget-tastic. Widget-licious? Maybe. It has two widget areas for your widgets giving you a three-column or two-column theme — with your content always displayed promininently — depending on your choice.
Post Formats
With the Yoko theme you can add variety to your blog using Aside, Gallery, Link, Video, Image, and Quote posts formats. Check out the demo to see them in action.
Responsive Design
Yoko is designed with responsive design in mind. That means, it provides a tailored layout depending on the device you are using. This makes your blog look good not only on desktop browsers, but also on devices with smaller screens, such as the iPad and iPhone.
Quick Specs (all measurements in pixels)
- The main column width is a maximum of 820 with one sidebar active
- The main column width is a maximum of 612 with both sidebars active
- The header is a suggested size of 1102 wide by 350 high
This theme is available for download to be used on your WordPress self-hosted installation.Download


text:
News: Do you like HTC Desire? Tweet
|Scratch-Proof your HTC Desire Best Screen Protector for HTC Desire
|Good Price on HTC Desire
Galaxy S3 | Galaxy Note | Galaxy Nexus | Kindle Fire | Atrix 4G | Motorola Xoom | Windows Phone 7
Nokia Lumia | Tech Support Forum | Top Hosts | Samsung Galaxy Tab | Samsung Galaxy S2 | Samsung Galaxy S | Samsung Wave
HTC Evo 3D | HTC Evo 4G | HTC Incredible | HTC Incredible 2 | HTC Incredible S | HTC Thunderbolt
Motorola Droid Razr | HTC Desire | HTC Desire HD | HTC Desire Z | HTC Desire S | HTC Wildfire
Motorola Droid | Galaxy Indulge | Nokia N8 | Droid Charge | Droid X | Droid X2 | Droid 2| Droid 3 | Fascinate
HTC Sensation | HTC Flyer | LG Revolution | Asus Transformer | Xperia Play | iPhone 4 | Nexus S | Droid Bionic
HTC One | HTC Wildfire S | HTC Droid Eris
This is an Un-Official fan based Website. The views expressed on this website are solely those of the proprietor, or contributors to the site, and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the parties it covers, and is not affiliated with, endorsed or sponsored by parties involved.
If you have a problem with any of the content posted on this website, please contact "email@example.com"
Term of Use | Privacy Policy | BlackRain 2006 by, Crip


text:
People Say the Darndest Things - Here are examples of what not to say at the airport. Statements like these not only delay the people who said them but can also inconvenience lots of other passengers if the checkpoint has to be evacuated:
- While waiting in line to be screened at St. Louis (STL) a passenger nodded to another unidentified passenger, and stated to a TSO, "You better check this guy good, he has explosives."
- A passenger within earshot of our Behavior Detection Officers at Tucson (TUS) stated: "I did not want you to notice the bomb in my shoe."
If you'd like to comment on an unrelated topic you can do so in our Off Topic Comments post. You can also view our blog post archives or search our blog to find a related topic to comment in. If you have a travel related issue or question that needs an immediate answer, you can contact a Customer Support Manager at the airport you traveled, or will be traveling through by using Talk to TSA.