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by Jodie
(Lake Jackson, Texas)
My mom was taken away from me too soon on June 1, 2012. She was only 50 and I'm only 25. Mom fought a long 7 year battle with metastatic breast cancer. She is without a doubt, the strongest person I know. Towards the end, she kept getting put on different research trials, that I believe were more for the benefit of the trial and less of a benefit for my mom. She progressed through them all and yet, even me being and oncology nurse for 3 years, I stayed in denial most of the time.
My mom was without a doubt my best friend. I told her everything. I laughed with her, I cried with her, I gossiped with her, we watched shows together and when we couldn't watch the shows side by side, we would text through out the show talking about it. She stood by my side through everything in life. She wanted what was best for me no matter what. I could call my mom or show up at her house, and without me barely getting a few words out, she knew if I had a bad day, even if I was trying to hide it. She knew me and accepted me 100% no matter what flaws I may have. My husband and my 2 year old daughter love me, I know that for sure, as they are what keeps me going day to day... but it is not like the love and acceptance of your mom. I feel so unbelievably lost. I pray that she would just come see me. I know that cant happen, but I cant stop asking God to let her come visit me. I still have some moments when I am back in denial, and then I will hear a song her and I used to sing together or just one that makes me think of her, or see something on tv or even just thinking about the future makes the grief come back in massive waves. I constantly feel on the verge of a panic attack, never quite getting there... but at the stage right before you go into a full blown panic attack. I'm back at work, and that helps most days. People ask how Im doing, and I just reply ok... mainly because, I know most people ask just out of politeness, not really wanting to hear to sad parts.
I miss my mom more and more each day. Even though Ive had these past 7 years to prepare myself, nothing can prepare you. I just wish she would come back and let me hold her hand one more time and tell her I love her one more time.
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RAY JOHN PILA Photographer
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text: Home Gallery Video Squarespace Leon's Journey Squarespace Debuts Inspiring Ad Starring R&B Singer Leon Bridges Directed by Danny Clinch and Created out of Preacher, Spot Debuted During the Grammys By Simon Dumenco. Published on Feb 12, 2016 Editor's Pick In this Squarespace spot directed by the legendary music photographer Danny Clinch, R&B musician Leon Bridges is shown paying his dues as he pursues his dreams. From crooning as he washes dishes in a restaurant kitchen to doing open mic nights in Fort Worth to hitting the road on his tour bus, his passion and perservance shine through. Near the end of the ad, we hear the Grammy-nominated artist in voice-over: "If you're ready for a bigger stage, build it." Then we see him casually scrolling through his elegantly designed website on a MacBook as he adds, "I'm Leon Bridges and this is my Squarespace." Created out of Austin-based agency Preacher, the TV ad debuts, appropriately enough, during the Grammy Awards on Sunday night in a 30-second cut; the 60-second version shown here will air in regional markets (Austin, Boston, Dallas, Denver, Chicago, Minneapolis, Nashville, Portland, San Diego, Seattle and Washington, D.C.). "We are always looking for ways to highlight our amazing customers," Squarespace Chief Creative Office David Lee said in a statement, "so when we learned Leon Bridges was a Squarespace user, we knew we had to tell his story." Rate this Ad You must be registered to rate the ad. Please Login or Register Now About CreditsDateFeb 12, 2016Agency:Preacher Client:SquarespaceFounder and CEO:Anthony CasalenaCCO:David LeeDirector of Brand Marketing:Amory WoodenProject Manager:Farah SheikhCCO:Rob BairdCopywriter:Ally FarrishArt Director:Josh StolzAgency Producer:Stacey HigginsAgency Producer:Katie StollerChief Executive Officer:Krystle LoylandChief Strategy Officer:Seth GaffneyBusiness Affairs:Susan ConklinTalent:Leon BridgesManagement:Jonathan Eshak @ Mick ManagementManagement:Zeke Hutchins @ Mick ManagementProduction Company:Milk'tDirector:Danny ClinchEP:Lindha NarvaezShoot Line Producer:Lindha NarvaezDP:Peter DonahueDP:Josh GolemanDP:Elia LyssyStory Producer:Grant JamesEdit House:CARTELEP:Lauren BleiweissEditor:Andy McGrawAssistant:Kai YuMusic Track & Artist:"Smooth Sailin'" by Leon BridgesMix Company:LimeMix:Rohan YoungAssistant Sound Engineer:Ben TomastikFinish House:Cartel Film ProductionSenior Flame Artist:Jim BohnColorist:Lasse BSee more credits Industrytechnology GenreCelebrityMusic Latest Creativity News on Ad Age Gallegos United Has a New CCO, Arnold Hires Alfson, Low Joins Ogilvy Beijing 'I Have a Huge Idea:' Wyclef Jean Wants to Work With Brands BBH New York Rebuilds Leadership Team With New CEO, CCO and Chairman Related work Squarespace: Calling JohnMalkovich.com JOHNXHANNES Squarespace: Directors Cut Super Bowl Pregame Ad JOHNXHANNES Squarespace: Journey JOHNXHANNES


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What Is Diverticulitis?
Diverticulitis is a serious medical condition that is characterized by inflamed pouches in the lining of your large intestine. These pouches are called diverticula. They develop when weak spots in the intestinal wall give way under pressure. This causes the intestine to protrude through the colonic wall structure. In most cases, the pouches are located in the lower intestine, or the colon.
Diverticula often exist within the body without causing any additional problems, and become more common as you age. In fact, the pouches or bulges are rather common after age 40.
However, on occasion, diverticula can become inflamed or infected, or they may tear. The inflammation can lead to a more chronic and serious condition known as diverticulitis. Once diverticulitis begins, it may cause serious health problems, including:
- nausea
- fever
- severe abdominal pain
- bloody bowel movements
Diverticulitis Diet
What Foods Should I Eat if I Have Diverticulitis?
Some people with diverticulitis will benefit greatly from prescription medication use, particularly antibiotics. More serious cases, however, may require surgery. In almost all cases, your doctor will suggest you adopt certain lifestyle changes to make the condition easier to tolerate and less likely to worsen over time.
High-Fiber Diet
A high-fiber diet is one of the first things a doctor will recommend. That's because fiber, which is found naturally in healthier foods such as fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, can soften your body's waste material. Softer stool passes through your intestines and colon more quickly and easily. This, in turn, reduces the pressure in your digestive system.
Fiber-rich foods include:
- beans, such as navy beans and kidney beans
- whole grains, such as brown rice, quinoa, and bulgur
- fruits
- vegetables and vegetable juices
- potatoes
- hot cereals, such as oatmeal and amaranth
Food to Avoid
What Foods Should I Avoid?
For decades, doctors recommended that people with diverticulitis avoid eating nuts, seeds, and popcorn. That's because they believed the tiny particles from these foods might get lodged in the pouches and lead to an infection.
While some doctors still recommend this, most physicians have abandoned that advice because modern research has demonstrated no evidence linking those foods with increased problems.
Are All Food Recommendations the Same?
While a diet high in fiber is a good general guideline, it's not always the right choice. During a diverticulitis attack, your doctor might suggest a clear liquid diet until your condition improves.
Clear Liquid Diet
A clear liquid diet usually consists of:
- water
- ice chips
- ice pops with frozen fruit puree or pieces of finely chopped fruit
- broth or stock
- gelatin
- tea or coffee without any creams, flavors, or sweeteners
After your condition improves, your doctor may recommend slowly adding low-fiber foods back into your diet. Once you no longer have symptoms you can resume your high-fiber diet.
High-Fiber Diet and Risk
Does a High-Fiber Diet Reduce Risk?
Eating a diet that is rich in natural sources of fiber is beneficial for a normal digestive system, but it's unclear if a high-fiber diet will reduce your risk of diverticulitis.
Find a Doctor
Talk with Your Doctor
Talk with Your Doctor
If you've been diagnosed with diverticulitis, make sure to discuss your food needs and restrictions with your doctor. If you have not yet had that discussion, make a list of food-related questions before your next appointment. It's important you talk about the role food plays in both helping heal and possibly aggravating the condition.
If you need additional guidance, ask your doctor to refer you to a nutrition specialist. Specifically, seek out a healthcare professional that has experience working with people who have diverticulitis. They will be able to make specific recommendations, provide recipes, and help you find ways to enjoy the high-fiber foods your diet needs.
Stay in communication with your doctor about your condition. While diverticulitis may remain dormant for long periods of time, it's a chronic, life-long condition. If you start to notice your symptoms increasing, make sure you have a plan of action from your doctor that can help reduce pain and discomfort and maximize your ability to go about your life.


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She will start and end the weekend with group race ambitions in Melbourne, but Gai Waterhouse was her typical bullish self about the numbers game she is playing in the Reginald Allen Quality at Rosehill.
Almalad (Bill Stutt Stakes) and Sweet Idea (Sir Rupert Clarke Stakes) will bookend Waterhouse's hopes at Moonee Valley on Friday night and Caulfield on Sunday respectively.
But it is Waterhouse's Chris Waller-like presence in the fillies' listed 1400-metre race at Rosehill – with four of the nine acceptors – which perhaps presents her best hope closer to home.
Twirl and Donelle are near the head of weights despite still trying to shed their maiden status, while Muscovado and Talisa will be thrown in the deep end after last-start wins in provincial grade.
"I don't think there's much between any of them," Waterhouse said. "I think there are two that are maidens and two that have just come out of their maidens.
"They've all got reasons why they can win and there's no reason why they shouldn't be there. It's a black-type race that is winnable."
Coolmore's Valentia has been saved for the Stan Fox Stakes after being a dual acceptor in the Gloaming Stakes, while Tulloch Lodge stablemates Travolta (Colin Stephen Quality) and the resuming Excess Knowledge (Shannon) are also on the stakes trail.
But perhaps Waterhouse will cheer no runner more at the weekend than Sweet Idea, which was a $7 equal favourite with Ladbrokes on Thursday evening for the Sir Rupert Clarke Stakes on Sunday. She shared the same quote as triple group 1 winner Dissident.
Sweet Idea is on the verge of crashing through the $2 million prizemoney barrier despite never winning at the top level.
"She's a great chance on Sunday and has raced well this prep," jockey Tommy Berry said. "Her record speaks for itself and she's rarely out of the placings. She's had a few runs under her belt so she's nice and fit. She'll get around Caulfield no problems and her jump-out the other day was very good, showing how sharp she is.,
"She's very honest and I think she'll be there in the finish."


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London: A toilet in a posh suburb in London has been put up for rent at a hefty amount of 3,000 pounds (Rs 2.82 lakh) a month.
The public toilet is at a bus turn-around point. Pic/Thinkstock
James Atherton, who is the owner of the Hampstead Heath lavatory, is looking to rent or sell the unusual piece of real estate which is a stand alone loo he owns inside a block of flats at the bottom of Highgate West Hill.
It is at a bus turn-around point, which is being promoted with a sign on the wall offering a "toilet space", hoping to catch the attention of bus drivers who need stop to relieve themselves at Parliament Hill Fields.
"The bus drivers in Highgate don't have a toilet, I thought they might be interested in buying it, or maybe three of them could get together and rent it," Atherton said.
He added he would also consider selling a 20-year lease for 20,000 pounds.


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According to the Canadian Cancer Society, at least half of all cancers can be prevented through healthy living and policies that protect the health of Canadians. Hastings Prince Edward Public Health recommends that you make the lifestyle choices below, which have been shown to reduce the risk of developing cancer.
Avoid smoking and exposure to second-hand smoke.
Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death for men and women in Canada. Smoking causes about 30% of all cancer deaths in Canada. Other cancers that are linked to smoking include cancers of the mouth, throat, larynx, oesophagus, colon, rectum, and bladder.
People exposed to second-hand smoke are also at higher risk of getting lung cancer and other lung diseases.
Eat plenty of vegetables, fruit, and whole grains each day.
As much as one third of all cancers may be related to what we eat and drink. Follow the guidelines listed in Canada's Food Guide. You will benefit from eating vegetables and fruit at all meals and as snacks. Make at least half of your daily grain products whole grain such as barley, brown rice, and oats. Limit foods and beverages high in calories, fat, and sugar.
Limit alcohol use.
Alcohol consumption is related to cancer of the pharynx, esophagus, larynx, colon, rectum, liver, and oral cavity in both men and women, as well as the breast in women (even at low levels of consumption).
Overall cancer risk is determined by the average volume of alcohol consumed, the patterns of drinking, and by the amount of drinking that occurs outside of meals.
To lower your cancer risk it is recommended that you follow the Low-Risk Drinking Guidelines developed by the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health.
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Spy Defendant Plans To Contest Charges; Secrets May Be Issue
By TIM WEINER,
Published: February 25, 1994
WASHINGTON, Feb. 24— The lawyer representing Aldrich H. Ames, the Central Intelligence Agency official accused of spying for Moscow, said today that Mr. Ames would fight the charges against him, raising the prospect of a messy trial that could involve secrets the agency would rather not disclose.
The lawyer for Mr. Ames's wife, Maria del Rosario Casas Ames, also issued a statement denouncing the accusations in a Federal Bureau of Investigation affidavit that was unsealed on Tuesday after the couple were arrested.
If the case against Mr. Ames and his wife is brought to trial in open court, it would set the stage for a potentially damaging tug of war between the intelligence agency's desire to preserve national security secrets and the Justice Department's need to make a case against the couple. Dangers of Espionage Trials
The couple are to appear at a Federal court hearing on Tuesday to determine if there is probable cause to detain them. Their lawyers refused to discuss any defense they might present, or what tactics they would pursue. The intelligence agency is institutionally wary of espionage trials that could reveal sources and methods the agency employs.
In the past, national security officials charged with crimes have threatened to disclose secrets at trials, sometimes effectively scuttling the charges against them. Procedures for presenting evidence in such cases were adopted in 1980 in an effort to prevent those tactics, but they have had mixed results in court.
On Capitol Hill, members of the Congressional committees that oversee the intelligence agency said today that the agency was continuing an internal investigation to determine whether other intelligence officials might be implicated in the espionage case. They expressed dismay after learning that Mr. Ames passed routine lie-detector tests administered by the agency's Office of Security in 1986 and 1991. The lawmakers said they would review the case and, if necessary, overhaul the agency's internal-security practices.
"Mr. Ames is resisting these charges," Plato Cacheris, a Washington defense lawyer, said of his client. He did not say what defense, if any, Mr. Ames would mount or address any specific accusations in the affidavit.
Mr. Cacheris, who spoke with his client for 90 minutes today at a detention center in Alexandria, Va., said: "Under the circumstances he's doing remarkably well. We discussed the case in as many facets as we could."
Mr. Cacheris, whose clients have included Sheik Kamal Adham, the former Saudi intelligence chief at the heart of the Bank of Credit and Commerce International case, and Fawn Hall, the document-shredding secretary to Oliver L. North, the former National Security Council aide in the Iran-contra affair, said he could not discuss what defense Mr. Ames might present if indicted. 'Devastated by the Distortions'
Mrs. Ames' lawyer, William B. Cummings, said his client was "devastated by the distortions, out-of-context, selected statements and alleged quotations in the Government's affidavit." Mr. Cummings did not discuss reports that Mrs. Ames has offered to cooperate with Federal investigators.
The 35-page affidavit unsealed on Tuesday, based on court-authorized wiretaps and electronic monitoring of Mr. Ames's home computer, includes transcripts of conversations that the Federal Bureau of Investigation says depict the Ameses talking about transporting large sums of cash to the United States.
The bureau's affidavit also said that the Ameses paid $540,000 in cash for a new house near C.I.A. headquarters in Langley, Va., ran up about $5,000 a month in credit card charges, bought a new 1992 Jaguar and indulged in other extravagances far beyond their apparent means of support without attracting suspicion.
At the time of his arrest, Mr. Ames was earning just under $70,000 a year in his post as a counternarcotics intelligence official, a position to which he had been transferred by the C.I.A. to reduce his access to highly sensitive information. Mrs. Ames was attending graduate school.
Neither Mr. or Mrs. Ames has entered a plea to the charges that they conspired to commit espionage. Mr. Cacheris said the Government had probably convened a Federal grand jury to consider formal charges against the couple, although prosecutors would not confirm that today.
The affidavit, which the prosecutors used to justify the arrest of the couple, includes a great deal of circumstantial evidence concerning espionage activities. But there is no direct evidence, like photographs, showing the couple turning over compromising information to the Russians. Defense Lawyer's Plan
Mr. Cacheris said that at the hearing scheduled for Tuesday in Federal District Court in Alexandria he would ask prosecutors whether they had any evidence of direct transfers of documents. But he said it was unlikely that the prosecutors would disclose much about their case.
On Capitol Hill, Representative Dan Glickman, the Kansas Democrat who is chairman of the House intelligence committee, told R. James Woolsey, the Director of Central Intelligence, "The Ames case raises disturbing questions about the internal controls and management of counterintelligence activities at the C.I.A."
Mr. Glickman promised "an extensive, exhaustive review" to determine "what the Ames case means for the intelligence community."


text:
In the News
Original journalism from the Center's OpenSecrets Blog
The revolving door always spins for Goldman Sachs — by design
March 23, 2017 | Each time President Donald Trump adds another Goldman Sachs alum to his administration, it's tempting to bring up his campaign-trail rhetoric about the investment bank. After all, it seems as though Trump is trying to drain the swamp by forcing it to overflow; last week, he nominated Goldman managing director James Donovan to the post of deputy Treasury…
Hedge Funds, Private Equity Firms, Payday Lenders Seek Financial Security from Congress
November 30, 2009 | Legislation aimed at regulating the securities and investment industry is as complex as the industry itself. But the trade groups representing these interests all seem to have at least one thing in common: they fear additional government regulation will damage their business, which especially concerns them given the ailing economy.
Blue Dogs and New Democrats Find Friends on Wall Street
November 17, 2009 | Like the health care reform debate, financial regulation legislation has divided members of the same party, opening a rift between liberal and moderate Democrats. But unlike the health care reform debate, where the moderate Blue Dog Democrats have been rabid in their opposition to a public insurance option, a different group has emerged to voice moderates' concerns over financial regulation -- but both are magnets for cash from the financial sector.
Obama, Ney and DeLay Also Among Stanford's Investments
February 18, 2009 | As the story behind the embattled investment company Stanford Financial Group develops, we thought we'd take an even closer look at the seeds the company may have tried to plant in Washington via campaign contributions. When looking at ALL lawmakers to collect money from the company's PAC and employees (not just members of the current Congress), some additional, important names appear at the top of the recipient list.
Feel free to distribute or cite this material, but please credit the Center for Responsive Politics. For permission to reprint for commercial uses, such as textbooks, contact the Center.


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For my amiga Fe…and for all you others who just keep telling me to write more oneshots.
Disclaimer: I don't own it sillies.
Christmas Bells
"Joanne, Joanne, Joanne!" Maureen yelled from the living room early one morning.
"What, what, what?" Joanne responded from the study, busy working on a new case.
"Guess how many days there are 'till Christmas?" The excited diva walked into the office totally forgetting that Joanne was working, closed her laptop, and sat on the desk.
Joanne sighed, "Honeybear, I was working you know…"
"Oh really? Sorry. Um, yeah. Well anyways, guess how many days!!!"
Joanne calculated the time until Christmas, "I don't know…17 days?"
"Nope!! Wait…oh, you're right. SEVENTEEN DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS Pookie!!!" Joanne couldn't help but smirk; she loved it when Maureen got this excited about the holidays.
"So what do you want me to get you Honeybear?"
"Ummm" Maureen furrowed her brow concentrating really hard on what the perfect gift from Joanne would be. There was so much she could ask for, and knowing Joanne, she'd get whatever she wanted plus some…this was sure to be a tough decision.
"I want…I want sex!"
"Sex?" Joanne asked Maureen, not really surprised but at the same time surprised but the answer.
"Yep. Sex. I believe that it is the perfect gift to show how much you love me on Christmas…and boy, am I gonna wear you out baby…"
"Oooh, sounds fun. If you're sure that sex is what you want…then I guess I can find a way to get it for you."
Maureen hugged Joanne, "You're the best Pookie ever! So what do you want for Christmas?"
"Hmmm…world peace. You wanna go assassinate the president for me?"
"Woot! Go Pookie!! Getting mean and nasty up in here!"
Joanne laughed and ended her laughter in a kiss, "Maureen do you know what would be really, really amazing right about now?"
"You going down on me?" the diva asked in all innocence.
"No…well, yes, but no. You wanna go Christmas Caroling?"
Maureen looked at Joanne like she had 29 eyes. "In the east village?"
"Sure! Why couldn't we go?"
"Well, in the first place, its cold as the dickens. Secondly, who the hell has a house for us to knock on the door and sing to? No one. This is not The Hamptons Joanne, it's the City."
"So what? It could be fu-uunnn…come on Maureen, let's go!" Still the diva did not seemed convinced that caroling in 12 degree weather was a good idea. "We can invite Collins and Angel…"
Maureen cheered up at the sound of her best friend's name, "Okay! Can we invite Marky, Mimi, and Roger too?"
"Why not? We can make it an entire boho Christmas Caroling session," the lawyer replied smiling.
Maureen was super excited about this and you could tell as she called everyone and informed them where to meet and when. As she was making phone calls, Joanne was packing a basket of everything that would be needed to keep the 6 other bohemians happy during what might end up being a long tedious day. She packed 7 individual thermoses of hot chocolate, a bottle of vodka, a bottle of red wine, and extra stash in case Collins forgot his, extra camera batteries for Mark, gloves and scarves for Mimi and Angel to make sure they stayed extra warm, and she packed some Midol for the ever PMS-ing Roger. Joanne herself would try to keep Maureen under control, but you could never tell. Everyone was taken care of now and it was time for them to be off. First stop, Tent City.
"So…" Maureen said sitting on Collins' shoulders, "who knows the words to some Christmas carols?"
"Not me," Roger said.
"Me either," Mimi replied.
"I know some Spanish ones…" Angel suggested.
Collins shook his head, "How come we can't sing any Kwanzaa songs huh?"
"Um…wow, I don't know any either," Joanne said scratching her head. Everyone looked at Mark for suggestions.
"Don't look at me, I'm a Jew! We can sing the 'Dreidel Song' but I'm sure that's not what people would expect to hear…"
"Well, this is successful…" Maureen said, "Joanne, I thought you said this was gonna be fun!"
"It is…or it would be if we knew songs. Come on; make some up or something guys. You all are fricken artists for Pete's sake…come up with something…" Suddenly there was this really weird ringing sound in the background. It sounded like…bells. And they were coming from out of now where!
Collins started bobbing his head, "Christmas bells are ringing!'
Roger and Mark joined, "Christmas bells are ringing!
Joanne, Angel, Maureen, and Mimi joined in with the guys, "Christmas bells are singing! On TV! At Saks!"
They all looked around at each other like they were crazy, "Where they hell did that come from?" Maureen asked.
"I don't know…but it was AWESOME!" Roger replied.
"Hell yeah, and I got it on tape!"
Angel went and wrapped her arms around Collins' strong chest, "Collins?"
"Yes baby?"
"Is it me or does that feel like it was déjà vu?"
Collins nodded, "I know what you mean," Maureen was still singing and bouncing on Collins neck so he had to ask her to get off, "Mo! If you're gonna bounce like a fuckin' fool can you at least get off my back first?"
"Well sorry Mister Sensitive Back," Maureen hotly replied while getting off Collins' back.
"So yeah Angel, I feel like Benny should pop out somewhere telling us we owe him rent…you know?"
"I do."
All of a sudden, Benjamin Coffin III popped up from behind a tent smiling.
"Nice singing guys," he said keeping the smile on his lips.
"Too freaky," Mimi said walking over to stand behind Roger.
"So…can I come caroling with you guys? Allison kicked me out of the house again. I'm kinda bored."
"So what? Why should we let you come with us you asshole?" Mimi asked from behind Roger.
"Still bitter are we Mimi? Well how about this…if you guys let me come with you for just tonight, I will buy you all Christmas dinner."
Angel's ears perked up, "Christmas dinner? Like the turkey, the dressing, the green beans and all? Like everything everything for real?"
"Everything," Benny replied.
"Hmm…Meems, maybe we should let him come with us," Joanne suggested "It would be nice to not steal our food this year don't you agree?"
"Yeah…I always feel so bad after that," Angel said with regret in her voice.
"Aww chica you're so nice!" Mimi said as she hugged her best friend.
"Just don't pull any funny stuff Coffin, I'll beat your ass if you do," Roger threatened.
"And I won't tape it. So there will be no proof it ever happened," Mark added.
"Okay, okay…I'll be good!" Benny exclaimed raising his arms in defense.
Maureen sighed from Joanne's side, "Okayyyyy, it's settled…can we go now? I'm getting bored. And these people obviously don't appreciate our talent, they didn't even pay us."
"Maureen Lee Johnson!" Collins exclaimed, "They're homeless you idiot! They couldn't pay us if they wanted to."
Maureen snorted, "Well all the more reason to go somewhere else. Goodnight Tent City!!" Maureen yelled in a rock star fashion as the bohos and Benny left the vicinity.
As they walked away Mark started to hum as he looked at the sky and it began to snow. "And it's beginning to…"
Mimi and Roger joined next, "And it's beginning to…"
Collins, Angel, and Joanne joined last, "And it's beginning to…"
Maureen yelled out in a diva-ish manner: "Joanne which way to the next place?"


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Each month, Rated People connects over 50,000 homeowners with quality tradesmen - simply enter your job details in the form above to get started.
We'll match your job to the relevant tradesmen in your area - those interested will pay to see your contact details and call you to quote.
As each tradesman expresses interest in quoting on your job, we'll send you their profile and ratings to help you choose the right one for you.
After the work is complete, return to the site and rate your tradesman based on their quality of work, reliability and value for money.
Painter / Decorator
Added 29/10/2016
Services required: painting 1 x stairs There is a wooden hand rail on the wall that needs...
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Services required: painting 1 x bathroom, 1 x kitchen, Utility room We have just had a kitchen...
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Services required: painting 2 x hallways, 1 x stairs, internal doorway area plus 4 small...
Painter / Decorator
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to emulsion ceilings and walls and stain pine doors skirtings and window sills toa 5 bed h...
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Internal Hall and Staircase Decorating
Very tidy . Came when promised. Very satisfied with work done. Would recommend to others.
Victor and his boys were wonderful. He made sure that he knew exactly what we wanted before beginning the work. He was also very knowledgeable and was able to advise us of all available options and their pros and cons. The standard of work done was excellent and his team were polite and courteous. We would not hesitate to recommend Victor to anyone, we were delighted with the work he did for us.
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text:
A brief introduction
I am an Associate Research Scholar in the Department of Astrophysical Sciences at Princeton University collaborating with Prof. Jenny Greene. Previously I was a Smithsonian Postdoctoral Fellow at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics. My primary research area centers around understanding the physical mechanism by which all supermassive black holes grow, and investigating the interplay between Active Galactic Nuclei and the properties of their host galaxies.
Latest Research
Connecting Dark Matter Halos & Supermassive Black Holes
Observational studies of nearby galaxies have demonstrated
correlations between the mass of the central supermassive
black holes and properties of the host galaxies. Motivated
by these correlations, the theoretical paradigm has
emerged in which BHs and bulges coevolve. We studied 3130
elliptical galaxies selected from the Sloan Digital and
ROSAT All Sky Surveys and demonstrated that the central
stellar velocity dispersion exhibits a significantly
tighter correlation with the total gravitating mass,
traced by the X-ray luminosity of the hot gas, than with
the stellar mass. This hints that the central stellar
velocity dispersion, and hence the central gravitational
potential, may be the fundamental property of elliptical
galaxies that is most tightly connected to the
larger-scale dark matter halo.
See our press coverage at the Harvard-Smithsonian and on CNET , and the Discovery Channel.
The evolution of AGN host galaxies throughout the last 9 billion years
AGN are capable of releasing enormous quantities of energy over their lifetimes, comparable to the binding energy of their hosts. In light of this, many galaxy-evolution simulations now incorporate AGN feedback as a form of self regulation for BH growth and star formation. The links between AGN and host evolution should be reflected in the galaxy characteristics. By harnessing the immense statistical power of the SDSS, Bootes and DEEP2 surveys, we identified AGN at X-ray, infrared and radio wavelengths out to z=1.4. We found that BHs undergoing radiatively-efficient accretion appear to be hosted in a separate and distinct galaxy population than AGN undergoing powerful mechanically dominated accretion. Radiatively efficient AGN appear to be preferentially hosted in modest star-forming galaxies, with little dependence on AGN or galaxy luminosity. AGN exhibiting radio-emitting jets due to mechanically-dominated accretion are almost exclusively observed in massive, passive galaxies. Crucially, we show that these different accretion-mode AGN have remained as separate galaxy populations throughout the last 9 Gyr.
Mid-IR Host-Galaxy Extinction in Compton-thick AGN
In nearby optical and radio-selected AGN, a weak correlation between gas column density and silicate (Si) absorption strength has been observed from Spitzer spectroscopy suggesting that selection of sources with strong Si-absorption is a good method to find the most heavily obscured AGN, i.e., Compton-thick sources. To first-order, these results would appear to agree with those predicted by simple uniform torus models. However, there is growing evidence that not all of the dust extinction can be attributed to an obscuring central torus. Indeed, we found that those Compton-thick AGN that exhibit strong Si-absorption features in the mid-infrared are hosted in highly inclined and/or merging galaxies, providing strong evidence that significant dust attenuation occurs within the AGN host-galaxy. This host-galaxy extinction is capable of hiding optical emission-line signatures in ~25-50% of nearby AGN


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CONCORD - Today, the New Hampshire Democratic Party launched a new website, At Ayotte's Table. The website comes a day after Republican senate candidate Kelly Ayotte was asked for one issue where she disagreed with the Washington GOP and responded that "nothing comes to mind that's on the table now" [Concord Monitor, 8/17/10]. At Ayotte's Table gives New Hampshire a chance to see what exactly Ayotte and her fellow Washington GOP insiders are bringing to the table for the Granite State in 2010.
"The only thing Kelly Ayotte and her fellow insiders at the Washington GOP are bringing to the table are already-failed polices that will take the Granite State backwards," said Emily Browne, Press Secretary for the New Hampshire Democratic Party. "They want to take us back to a time where insurance companies ran health care, Wall Street ran our savings accounts, and Big Oil could wreak havoc on our communities to protect their own profits. Since Kelly Ayotte herself admitted she'd be nothing more than a rubberstamp for whatever GOP policies are coming out of Washington these days, it's only fair for the Granite State to see exactly what those policies are."
For more information, visit www.atayottestable.com.


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When you subscribe to my newsletter you can expect to get tips on in-season edibles, notices of newly released videos, class updates, botany builder, and news about foraging. I hate spam more than you do as I get over 200 pieces a day here with a filter. I will not share your email information with anyone. Below are links to older newsletters. To get up-to-date newsletters please subscribe.
Sample Newsletter, 26 December 2011, Yam Man Dan, Poor Man's Pepper Grass, Janus, Healthy Tobacco, Carpetweed, Mugwort, Botany Builder #9, Christmas Day Freeze
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
- April 8, 2013 at 08:06
Hi Green,
I like your website very much. I actually thought most of the information would not be relevant to me as I live in Ireland. However many of your wild species are grown here as ornamentals for example the one here in your sample newsletter – Mahonia sp. Another one would be Amalanchier. So I am looking forward to stocking up on some good info gleaned from your newsletter.
Leave a Comment


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November 3, 2013
What Does Udemy Pay Its Instructors (Now)?
Last month Udemy, a leading marketplace for user-generated online learning, announced a big change to the Udemy revenue sharing model. It took effect a couple of days ago. Not surprisingly, it has generated a lot of controversy from the Udemy instructor-base. And, since I've previously encouraged students of my online screencasting courses to consider Udemy as a ready-for-you channel for publishing and monetizing their digital-know-how, I felt it was worth helping to clarify--at least for my students--where much of the confusion seems to be at the moment and what you need to know before selling your courses through Udemy.
The Gist Of the New Model
I won't re-hash each of the terms. For that, you can read Udemy's announcement via the link above. But the gist of it is fundamentally based on an accounting of who (whom?) is the original "source" of the subscriber.
My Realtor(tm) friends have a term called "procuring cause." Basically, it refers to the agent who brings the buyer to a purchase transaction. This "source-"thingy with Udemy subscribers is similar. This issue is central to the new payout model, so understanding it is key to this whole confusing business. It's implications are:
- If Udemy is the procuring cause (source) of a new subscriber, then Udemy takes a 50% share of your course's list price. (After any promotional discounts, if applicable.) [Note: But, see scenarios 3, 3a and 3b in Figure 2 further below for a special case about how this share is modified based on a particular channel through which Udemy acquires certain subscribers.]
- If you, as the instructor, are the procuring cause of a new subscriber, then you get to keep 97% of your list price. (After any promotional discounts, if applicable.)
The flow diagram above (Figure 1) attempts to trace the rules by which you (or Udemy) become the procuring cause of a new subscriber. (*Sigh...* It's sad that we need such a diagram, but it is what it is.) While it sounds simple on its face, there's an often-missed click-timer issue embedded in this rule that makes things less intuitive. Trace the blue path to see how this timer thing applies. The essence is this:
(Assuming the person who clicks your link isn't already a Udemy subscriber then) You get credited as the procuring cause for that subscriber but ONLY IF she/he creates a Udemy account within 24 hours of first landing on the Udemy site through your couponed link.
- Upside (sort of): Even if they don't buy your course during that first 24-hour window, you're still credited as the "source" PROVIDED THAT they create an account during that first 24-hour window.)
- Downside (sort of): If the 24 hour window expires and the visitor still has not signed up for a new account, then your best hope is for a subsequent 2-hour window whenever (and IF ever) that student comes back in the future AND happens to remember -- and use -- your coupon code.
Purchase Scenarios
In the tables below (Figure 2 - Udemy-side Revenue Share; Figure 3 - Instructor-side Revenue Share), I laid out common scenarios.
- The Subscriber Source column caveats the percentages on the basis of procuring cause for the subscriber.
- The Channel column further caveats the percentages on the basis of additional incentives (e.g., paid ads, in-house promos, etc.) that may have been used to get the subscriber to buy a course.
- The remaining columns are hopefully self-explanatory.
- Finally, the rows with the yellow highlights are scenarios that seem to be all abuzz in the Udemy Faculty Lounge at the moment.
In the Udemy-Instructor battlefield (that's how it feels at the moment), there are 3 FAQs that seem to be particularly controversial.
- "Why am I now only getting a 25% share on purchases of my courses even when it appears that I am the original source of the subscriber?"
- "Whoooaah... Udemy gets a 75% share for life of purchases by Udemy advertising-generated subscribers?"
- "What the hell is this 24-hour/2-hour thingy about?"
FAQ #1: Why am I now only getting 25% share on purchases of my courses even when it appears that I am the original source of the subscriber?"
Well, as it turns out, the instructor is apparently not the procuring cause of the subscriber in these cases. As far as I can tell from the discussion, much of the confusion here seems to stem from caveats related to scenarios 3a and 3b above. (Go up there and take a look at Figure 2 now before continuing.)
It's understandable that many of us, as Udemy instructors, expect that if the payment report says that the sale is "organic" and that an instructor-coupon was used by a subscriber in the sale, then Udemy should only have taken a 50% cut; not the 75% share that's causing so much consternation.
But here's the thing: the source AND the channel are what count. What's not so transparent in the current reporting format is who, originally, was the source (procuring cause) of the subscriber in question AND what channel was used to procure that subscriber. As scenarios 3, 3a and 3b above try to summarize from the discussions is that: if Udemy is the source AND the subscriber came in by way of an advertisement that Udemy paid for (e.g., Facebook, Google, Groupon, etc.) then Udemy takes the higher 75% cut. And if that weren't controversial enough, then add this phrase: For Life.
That last bit is a nice segue to FAQ #2.
FAQ #2: "Whoooaah...Udemy gets a 75% share for life on purchases by Udemy advertising-generated subscribers??"
Um, yes. (I was gob-smacked by this one, as well.) Unfortunately, I don't think this point was sufficiently outlined in Udemy's original announcement, which is what I think is causing so much consternation. Hell, I just re-read that whole announcement and can't find a reference to it at all. But, when threading through the discussions in the Udemy Instructor Lounge battlefield, there's this revelation from one of Udemy's reps:
So, there it is.
FAQ #3: "What the hell is this 24-hour/2-hour thingy about?"
This last one in my "top 3 FAQs" was indeed mentioned in the original announcement. But it's one of those things that bears a visual graphic to fully appreciate. So, again, it's worth taking time to trace through Figure 1 above. By tracing the blue boxes in Figure 1, you'll get the sense of a clock that starts in the nebulous background that governs affiliate marketing engines. I won't re-hash a narrative about; I'll let you trace the diagram and revisit the sections underneath it about "Upside" / "Downside".
Figure 1 is the centerpiece of the model; it's worth taking time to understand it. While Udemy unfortunately spins it by making it sound simple enough, (paraphrase: if you source it, you own it; if we source it, we own it), the mechanics of the 24-hour/2-hour timer bears some highlighting, as does the 75% for life scenarios in 3a and 3b of Figure 2 above.
I'm reserving my comments for now about how much I think this new model tilts the scale in Udemy's favor (or not) at the expense of their partners, but keep an eye out for a future post with my thoughts on it.
In the meantime, I'd welcome your thoughts about whether or not you think it's a fair deal and, more importantly, how would you advise other would-be Udemy instructors about whether or not you'd recommend they put the effort in to creating a course for the Udemy marketplace?
Learn to teach online. Go beyond PowerPoint: learn to screencast using Camtasia Studio for Windows, Camtasia for Macintosh, or ScreenFlow for Macintosh. Watch the free previews now and read the topics list on our 5-star rated screencasting courses. Click here to learn more.


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My Favorite Flirts is a feature that lets you reach your favorite Flirts easily from My Account or on 1-800-TO-FLIRT.Manage My Favorites
(2 Reviews)
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Click below to listen to My recorded listings when I'm not available for calls ... but be warned they are HIGHLY ADDICTIVE!


text:
My wife's SGS3 has recently started doing something odd. When she launches the internet app (the stock one called "Internet" with the blue globe icon) the pages display VERY dim, like less than 10%. Switch to any other application and display is normal, switch back to browser and it is dim. Checked the settings and they are Brightness=100% and Automatic Brightness is unchecked. She does not have any auxillary brightness controllers (like Lux) and it is just the browser app. Even the Google Navigator works fine. Any ideas?
Verison USA service. Standard Setup, not unlocked or ROM'ed.


text:
Tiffany Designs 16187
- Brand: Tiffany Designs
- Style #: 16187 - Quick Delivery*
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This gown shows off a charming sweetheart neckline over a nude bodice layered with dazzling beadwork. Gathered stretch net skirt flaunts glorious color, ending with a keyhole, open back and center zipper. Stretch Net
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*A style on our web site listed as in-stock can usually be shipped today or next day for immediate delivery or quick delivery. An item listed as "Ships Today" can be sent the same business day as long as the order is placed before the cutoff time.


text:
Crock Pot White Chicken Chili
Recipe by SAMS_Club
This white chicken chili recipe is adapted from a Betty Crocker slow cooker recipes cookbook. I often use frozen chicken breasts, and it can also be prepared conventionally on the stove top. Great comfort food!
Top Review by bridget.hinegardner
Excellent!! I read the other reviews and changed a few things: chopped up half of an onion and layered it under the chicken when I placed it in the bottom of the crock pot, added a can of yellow corn, a can of diced tomatoes, and chopped up half of a jalapeno pepper to add some kick (I'm saving the other half of the pepper to slice as a garnish). Other than that I did everything the same. I put everything in the crock pot last night and just shredded the chicken this morning. It is so SO good, we are having a hard time waiting to get into it before the football game today! I will serve the sour cream separately. Right now the soup tastes just perfect and I don't want to change anything!
See Discussion:134 Reviews 10 Tweaks 2 Q&As
Ingredients Nutrition
- 1 1⁄4 lbs boneless skinless chicken
- 2 (15 ounce) cans great northern beans or 2 (15 ounce) cans navy beans
- 1 (15 ounce) can hominy or 1 (15 ounce) can white corn
- 1 (1 1/4 ounce) envelope taco seasoning
- 1 (4 1/2 ounce) canof chopped green chilies
- 1 (10 3/4 ounce) can condensed cream of chicken soup
- 1 (14 ounce) can chicken broth
- 1⁄2 cup sour cream
- chopped green onion (optional)
- monterey jack cheese (optional)
Directions See How It's Made
- Place chicken in a 4 quart slow cooker.
- Top with beans and corn.
- In a medium bowl, combine taco seasoning, chiles, condensed soup, and chicken broth. Pour over top of ingredients in the crock pot.
- Cover and cook on low for 8 to 10 hours.
- Before serving, stir gently to break up chicken, then stir in the sour cream.
- Serve topped with green onions and jack cheese, if desired.


text:
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text:
(888) 303-3975 USA | (888) 278-0414 Canada
Questions? Call Us (888) 303-3975
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|Message view
|« Date » · « Thread »
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|"Hadoop QA (JIRA)" <j...@apache.org>
|[jira] Commented: (HADOOP-3131) enabling BLOCK compression for map outputs breaks the reduce progress counters
|Sat, 19 Jul 2008 00:32:31 GMT
[ https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/HADOOP-3131?page=com.atlassian.jira.plugin.system.issuetabpanels:comment-tabpanel&focusedCommentId=12614923#action_12614923 ] Hadoop QA commented on HADOOP-3131: ----------------------------------- -1 overall. Here are the results of testing the latest attachment http://issues.apache.org/jira/secure/attachment/12386001/HADOOP-3131-v2.patch against trunk revision 677872. +1 @author. The patch does not contain any @author tags. +1 tests included. The patch appears to include 6 new or modified tests. +1 javadoc. The javadoc tool did not generate any warning messages. +1 javac. The applied patch does not increase the total number of javac compiler warnings. -1 findbugs. The patch appears to introduce 1 new Findbugs warnings. +1 release audit. The applied patch does not increase the total number of release audit warnings. +1 core tests. The patch passed core unit tests. +1 contrib tests. The patch passed contrib unit tests. Test results: http://hudson.zones.apache.org/hudson/job/Hadoop-Patch/2906/testReport/ Findbugs warnings: http://hudson.zones.apache.org/hudson/job/Hadoop-Patch/2906/artifact/trunk/build/test/findbugs/newPatchFindbugsWarnings.html Checkstyle results: http://hudson.zones.apache.org/hudson/job/Hadoop-Patch/2906/artifact/trunk/build/test/checkstyle-errors.html Console output: http://hudson.zones.apache.org/hudson/job/Hadoop-Patch/2906/console This message is automatically generated. > enabling BLOCK compression for map outputs breaks the reduce progress counters > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Key: HADOOP-3131 > URL: https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/HADOOP-3131 > Project: Hadoop Core > Issue Type: Bug > Affects Versions: 0.17.0, 0.17.1, 0.17.2, 0.18.0, 0.19.0 > Reporter: Colin Evans > Assignee: Matei Zaharia > Fix For: 0.19.0 > > Attachments: HADOOP-3131-v2.patch, merge-progress-trunk.patch, merge-progress.patch, Picture 1.png > > > Enabling map output compression and setting the compression type to BLOCK causes the progress counters during the reduce to go crazy and report progress counts over 100%. > This is problematic for speculative execution because it thinks the tasks are doing fine. -- This message is automatically generated by JIRA. - You can reply to this email to add a comment to the issue online.
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My heart is troubled as I read a negative news story about a Minneapolis woman who called police because she thought a neighbor was being sexually assaulted. Somehow, when the police arrived on the scene, the caller was shot to death. At this point in time, there are no explanations as to why a police officer shot her when she approached their squad car. We know the officers' body cameras were not on and that the woman, Justine Damond, is dead. The question is, "Why?" There is so much in the case we do not know. We are left to react to another negative news story.
Negative news events like this place a city on edge. Emotions run high and often trigger more aggression and violence. The lawlessness we see in the streets of Chicago, the trouble of city gang violence, racial tension, the lack of civility, etc. We view this violence and unrest on screens every day. One has to wonder what all these negative images and stories do to a person.
Basically, the impact can be depressing. When we see negative events, our brain goes into action. We are wired towards survival. Our danger detector (the amygdala) calls our attention to negative stories and events. So, we attend to bad news, in part, because of the threat of danger.
Furthermore, the brain is biased to go negative. We all have a built-in hunger to hear and remember bad news in order to confirm our negative experiences. We are much more sensitive to bad versus good news. Our attitudes are even our dreams are more influenced by bad news.
News organizations know that people are more attuned to bad news which is why one estimate is that 90% of the news is negative. All these negative stories create multiple events for the brain to react to and filter threats. And negative events are especially contagious and shared. There is also some evidence that we respond quicker to negative words and that bad news heightens our need to change and prevent more problems.
But all this attention to bad news can lead to feeling down and depressed. Disturbing images stay with us longer. So how do we protect our minds and hearts, not grow bitter or cynical, and not lose our empathy for others?
Begin by understanding that the more stressed, sick and tired you are, the more likely you are to be reactive to bad news. At those times, it wise to not pile on negative news stories. We may need to do what we teach children–limit our exposure. And when you do see a negative story, tell yourself that media prefers reporting bad news and disaster over slow and steady improvements in our society. You are not seeing the balance. Balance the news with encouraging and uplifting stories of triumph and overcoming.
Keep a spiritual perspective. According to 2 Timothy 3: 1-5, we will see the ramping up of bad news. So while we don't want to stick our heads in the sand, replace fear with prayer: "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power." This is not going away. But God has not given us a spirit of fear, so remind yourself of His truth, His power and His protection. Direct your worry or concern to prayer. God is telling us what is coming, but doesn't want us reacting in fear, rather in the hope we find in Him and the promise of a new day. This reality and hope must be balanced.
Focus more of your attention on good reports. "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. " Philippians 4:8-9. This is one way you balance the negative bias-renew the mind with the promises of God. The power of God is more than positive psychology. It is a belief that God holds all things in His hand and will accomplish His purposes. He has given us a book and His presence to help us on the journey.
It's summer and more of our bodies are exposed. If you are self-conscious about the way you look, you are probably thinking, "Bring on the cooler temps so I can cover up!" But maybe the better way to deal with summer is to work on body acceptance. Recently, I was asked this question by an interviewer:
How can a woman work to see her body realistically and find beauty in how her body is made? What is a healthy way to approach outward appearance and wanting to look good without developing an obsession or eating disorder? My answer…
"Work" is a good way to put it. It takes a conscious and daily effort to renew the mind with the truth of God's word. Start by searching the scriptures to learn what God says about you, how He determine your worth and what He values. You are going to find that there is little reference to physical appearance toed to our worth. What we consider important is not that important to God.
Resist the myths that continue to be reinforced in our culture. For example, one of the myths is that big breasts make you successful. This is a crazy belief and yet it often remains unchallenged. Ask why would I believe this, and what is the intent of such a message? One teen thought having breast implants would raise her confidence. Her parents were going to allow her to have the procedure because they agreed. Breast implants are not a means to more confidence. Being made in the image of God to reflect His glory is a conversation that has nothing to do with the proportions of your body or sculpting it towards perfection.
Don't confuse body acceptance with making physical changes. For example, changing a hair style is much easier than working through a difficult parent relationship. Dieting can give you a false sense of control in your life when your marriage is falling apart. And this is often what I see. People who are stuck in problems and use their physical bodies as the screen for internal anxieties and difficulties. I worked with a very successful woman in her mid thirties who was single and wanted to be married. She was unable to sustain an intimate relationship with a man because of all the unresolved baggage she carried from her original family. Every time she broke up with a man, she scheduled herself for a plastic surgery procedure. She became obsessed with her appearance, feeling she had to perfect the physical in order to hold on to a man. After six major procedures, she finally agreed to tackle the hurt and disappointment in her life and resolve past family issues. Then, she was able to approach her relationships differently.
Finally, stop comparing yourself to others and accept your uniqueness as a reflection of a very creative God. Our bodies are His temple, the place His Spirit dwells. Therefore we are to care for our bodies and treat them with respect. Our focus should be on self-care versus self-obsession and on healthy living versus dieting.
Take the self out of self-esteem and replace it with God-esteem and you have a very different picture. Our identity is not found in appearance or accomplishments but in Christ. If you try to love yourself apart from God, you will fail. Esteem does not come from inside you, other people, your family, your appearance or what you do. You are highly esteemed simply because God created and chose you. You are so valued by God that He sent his son to die for you. God isn't saying, "If only she would lose five more pounds, I could love her more." God-esteem is radical and countercultural. Martin Luther once said, "A proud mind is high in conceit, self-esteem, and carnal aspiring; a humble mind is high indeed in God esteem, and in holy aspiring." When God is in the center of our lives, we can't help but be humble and feel valued.
You don't have to ignore your physical appearance to develop inner beauty. It isn't wrong to want to look as nice as you can with what you have been given. We are body, soul and spirit. To ignore the physical part of who we are is ridiculous and not a holistic approach to life. However, when dealing with the body, we have to keep perspective. We are more than our appearance.
John and Jill were not getting along. In talking to both individuals, it was clear that they suffered from 5 relationship mistakes. Here is what I noticed.
- Little to no alone time. Yes, this sounds counterintuitive to a couple's relationship, but most people need a little down time to reboot and refresh. It doesn't mean they don't love being with their partner, rather they are a better partner when they take time to think and process the relationship and develop their own hobbies and interest. A caution: Too much alone time can lead to problems, so it is a balance of attending to the relationship and allowing yourself time to regroup. For example, John felt that any time he wanted to do something with his guy friends like play racquetball, Jill was upset. She didn't play, yet racquetball was a hobby and stress relief for John.
- Lack of curiosity about your partner. Getting comfortable with the person and not exploring how they think and feel about issues and life experiences can lead to emotional distance and loss of friendship. You may think you know your partner and yet will constantly discover new things about them. And the conversation keeps you intimately involved and being better known by the other. For example, when Jill talked about her feelings and reactions to recent events, John was stunned and had no idea she felt the way she did.
- Avoiding discussing the small stuff. You know the saying –don't sweat the small stuff-well, in relationships that is not good advice. The small stuff builds to the big stiff and causes problems Talk through minor issues and problems. Don't ignore or allow things to build. Practice good conflict management so you can address issues as they occur. For example, it bothered John how Jill did not clean up after herself. And Jill didn't like how often John checked in with his family. She felt it interfered with building their relationship. Once they discussed these type of small things, their relationship began to improve.
- Allowing negativity to color the view of your partner. This is dangerous. Once you focus more on the negatives than the positives, you will move from criticism to contempt. An overall negative feeling is the road to emotional distance and often divorce. Stay positive;. Offer grace and talk through problems to resolve and reconcile. Focus on the positives. Rehearse the positives and say them often to your partner. For example, when John did something Jill didn't like, she thought about it for days–never talked to him, but allowed the bad feelings to build. And John began to characterize his wife as someone who didn't care about him or his family. This negativity grew to the point of resentment.
- No shared or individual spiritual life. Couples who lose sight of their spiritual bond or who don't share a spiritual connection, struggle more because they don't have spiritual resources or a spiritual plan to guide their lives together. Biblical principles work in relationships and provide a foundation on how you treat each other and how to address self-centeredness and a host of other temptations. Without God in the picture, couples tend to become more "me" focused and discontented. A shared spiritual faith that is practiced is essential to creating a strong relationship. John and Jill had wandered from their faith, were not attended a church and falling into a pattern of self-centeredness Once they renewed their faith and began to study the Bible and pray together, things improved.
Trust is foundational to any relationship. This is true whether we are talking about an intimate other or your boss at work. Working in an organization in which trust is absent affects productivity, creativity, your work and autonomy. Something just doesn't feel right. Feelings of safety, satisfaction and confidence take a hit when trust is low.
Leaders should focus on building trust in order have greater productivity and organizational collaboration. There is research to support that in high trust organizations profits are higher, employees stay and feel satisfied, and the company gains a good reputation.
Organizational trust is built on three things:
- Past behavior. Does a leader behavior in a consistent manner? If not, it is difficult to trust the present. People who are unpredictable in any relationship are difficult to trust.
- Capability: Is the leader perceived as competent? Noticed I said, "perceived" because it is difficult to trust someone you feel doesn't know what he or she is doing. Trust is based on your perception. And that perception is usually based on the way the leader behaves.
- Alignment: Do you align with the goals and direction of the leader? Working towards a common goal is part of trust. If you can't buy in the vision or direction of a leader, trust is usually at the root.
Leaders can build trust in a few important ways:
- Involve people in decisions. This helps people know how the leader thinks and how decisions are made. It also helps with buy-in. In any relationship, when decisions are discussed and you are included, you tend to trust more.
- Just like parenting, leaders who are consistent with their decisions build trust. And it helps to add transparency along the way. Listen first to what people have to say, but be consistent in your responses and actions.
- Attend to relationships. The more leaders can help people get along, work together and co-exist, the better the atmosphere of a company. Right wrongs when they occur. Don't allow tension to build without addressing it. Nothing breaks trust more than being treated in negative ways.
Since trust includes your integrity, motive and intent with people, it is foundational to the way people are inspired and work together. When trust is missing, people lose their loyalty and motivation to work for a company. Trust me!