text:
Water planning in the transition towards a green economy
- Blake Park
- 1 years ago
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1 Water planning in the transition towards a green economy Rafael Romeo (Ebro River Basin Authority), Manuel Omedas (Ebro River Basin Authority), Rogelio Galvan (Ebro River basin Authority), Carlos Mario Gomez (University of Alcalá and IMDEA Water Foundation) The challenge for planning Freshwater is a finite and vulnerable resource, essential to sustain life, development and the environment; Water development and management should be based on a participatory approach, involving users, planners and policy-makers at all levels; Women play a central part in the provision, management, and safeguarding of water; Water has an economic value in all its competing uses, and should be recognised as an economic good. The Dublin Principles The opportunity to improve governance arrangements is one of the biggest opportunities to speed transition to a greener economy. In any area where there is water scarcity, it is critical that governance arrangements are put in place to prevent over-use and overdevelopment of the available water resources. UNEP (2011) Water is not only essential for the production of single commodities, goods and services and for meeting individuals drinking water and sanitation needs. Water is also fundamental for the maintenance of the entire economy. Development prospects in any nation are propelled or constrained depending on the way water resources are managed. Welfare advances and economic progress in poor and rich nations are more or less vulnerable, depending on the state of conservation of water resources and water infrastructures. Personal development opportunities depend on the access people have to basic drinking water and sanitation services. The fragile border between social peace and civil conflict often depends on how the benefits and costs of water use are shared amongst individuals and countries. Ultimately, the future of humanity Page 1 of 13
2 depends on the conservation of the earth s ecosystems and their ability to provide the critical environmental and water services the economy and the entire global society depend upon. For all the aforementioned reasons, decision making on how and how much water to use in the economy or to conserve in nature cannot be simply left to individual interest. Water needs to be governed. But water planning is not only concerned with building the infrastructures to satisfy rising water demand as a result of economic and population growth. This is not possible in the long term because, firstly, water resources have a limited capacity to cope with water abstractions and effluent discharges, and secondly, because the benefits we obtain from using and transforming water ecosystems (by abstracting, diverting, degrading water sources, etc.) enter in conflict with other important economic benefits whose provision depends on the conservation of water sources and their associated ecosystems. The last services include, for example, security in the face of droughts and future uncertain water supply due to climate change, flood control, self-treatment and depuration, biodiversity support, navigation, landscape and recreational opportunities and also the regulation of the water cycle which the provision of water depends on. The transition towards the green economy requires improvements the water environment without harming prospects for economic development. This implies not only making welfare and social improvements compatible with the preservation of water resources but also finding new and innovative opportunities for economic growth and social development through sustainable water management. Water plays a key role in economic development and water planning is a powerful social instrument for optimising growth, poverty reduction and environmental benefits. This is the case in advanced, transition and poor economies as the cases of Spain, Korea and Laos show. Water planning has a distinct role to play in less developed countries. The benefits of providing basic water and sanitation services in this early stage of development are of paramount importance for lifting people out of the poverty trap. Gains in health and education opportunities mean increased prospects for personal and social progress if revenue raising opportunities are also available (e.g. food production in rural economies). Water planning is important to start and sustain the development process. But water development can be challenging if water is scarce, requiring substantial investments in public infrastructure or the development of alternative water sources (such as water harvesting or desalination). Climate change will increase the uncertainty and variability of water availability and will reduce the security of water services. Increasing water scarcity and variability (occurrence of droughts and floods) will affect rain-fed agriculture and water supply for domestic use, energy, industry Page 2 of 13
3 and agriculture, and will likely generate pressures for increasing irrigation and cultivating marginal lands. Water planning must provide the institutional space to build a collective response to the climate change challenge and build the resilience of water management. The alternative to water planning is allowing the spontaneous, unplanned and uncoordinated actions of anyone affected by water stress; actions that could lead to increased vulnerabilities. Spontaneous responses from people, businesses, and farmers in rural communities depend on their perception of value and risk, the options available to them and their individual economic incentives. These responses may not necessarily produce the most sustainable outcomes. For example, they may add more pressure to cultivate marginal land, or unsustainable cultivation practices may be adopted when yields are reduced because of erratic rainfall. The end result may be increased water scarcity, land degradation and the endangerment of biodiversity, thus increasing vulnerability and reducing capacity to respond to climate change and other risks later on. Planned and anticipated responses are needed to ensure the provision of water services which underpin the economic system. Water planning is also necessary to cope with environmental challenges such as water scarcity, water quality degradation and climate change risks. Approach: the elements of planning Reaching a social agreement on the desired balance between water use and water resource conservation The first purpose of water planning is reaching a social agreement on the desired balance between water use and water resource conservation, or in other words, agreeing on the balance between water use and pressures on the one hand, and conserving water on the other. This basic but politically challenging agreement is a necessary condition for successful water planning. For example, since 2002, the Water Framework Directive of the European Union has set the objective for water planning as making economic progress compatible with the improvement and protection of the status of the affected water bodies (any exception to this principle requiring a special justification in terms of improvements in economic welfare). In an international river basin, this basic agreement on the balance between water use and water resources conservation might only be driven by the need to cooperate in sharing the benefits derived from the river. By specifying the responsibilities of each country and by enforcing the agreement among them, all the countries ensure their contribution to the benefits of preserving the international river basin. Successful cooperative agreements of this kind are based on the Page 3 of 13
4 mutual responsibility to comply with some precisely defined and observable environmental standards. A practical way to implement this kind of cooperative agreement is to incorporate these standards in national and local water planning so that the fulfilment of the international agreement and the credibility of the national partners are reinforced and foster cooperation. This is the case for the Mekong River basin international agreement and its important influence on the goals and means of water planning in the Lao PDR. Harnessing development opportunities and coping with water and development challenges In the Ebro River basin, water management has been a tool for development. Water underpins the powerful agro-food industry, based on the development of irrigation systems, and a dynamic energy complex, centred on hydropower along the main river and its tributaries but also replying on water to cool thermal fossil and nuclear power plants. The river valleys are also essential for transport, the manufacturing industry and population settlement. Water planning has undoubtedly played a role in the progressive economic development of the region, but the amount of water used has exceeded its sustainable limits and recent efforts have been made to reduce water pressures and increase conservation of water resources. Modernising irrigation systems is now a priority for guaranteeing water supply and increasing the resilience of agriculture to droughts. The existing dams in the Ebro basin are able to provide a reliable supply of water for urban areas and for irrigation as well as flood control services, but some efforts are required to avoid negative impacts on sediment balances, river bed encroachment and saline intrusion in the lower Ebro. Water development has been able to provide enough water of the desired quality for a variety of water uses, but increased use has reduced the amount of water stored and the potential for hydropower, thus reducing the value of the installed power generation capital. All this has reduced environmental flows and altered the habitat conditions, making river restoration one of the main objectives of recent water planning. The main objective of water planning in the Ebro today is recovering the balance between the status of water resources and their critical environmental services, and the gains already achieved in economic development. The case of Laos is distinct because the country has abundant water resources (in fact most of the runoff of the lower Mekong comes from Laos). Moreover, in the Mekong river basin, Laos is a late comer to economic development and water resources are affected by water regulation in the upper basin, and in particular the significant hydropower projects already built or under construction in China. The transboundary nature of the river basin also means that intensive water use in Laos might have detrimental impacts on the already developed irrigation fields and populated areas of Vietnam and Cambodia in its delta. The development of Laos is only possible Page 4 of 13
5 if water planning is able to address potential conflicts between water users and uses, and able to transform competition over scarce resources into mutual cooperation to conserve and share the benefits of improved water resources. Adapting hydropower dams in China in order to meet irrigation needs in Laos, and water uses in Laos to help maintain environmental flows required in the Vietnamese Mekong delta, are examples of such mutually beneficial arrangements. In contrast to the Ebro, Korea is a transition economy where there are still opportunities for the construction or the expansion of dams and weirs as a central element of water planning. Nevertheless, environmental objectives are still important as public demand for recreation and well preserved water landscapes increases with income levels. Moreover, there is a commitment to preventing further deterioration of water quality and water landscapes due to the perceived importance of water security and the need to meet water demand in the long term. Building governance and institutional capabilities Building governance and institutional capabilities is essential for agreeing on, designing and effectively implementing long-term integrated water management plans in order to support the transition towards green growth. The Laos experience illustrates a progressive strategy of improving water governance, by developing technical abilities, creating river basin management institutions, improving information systems and promoting stakeholder engagement. Coordinating public policies Water planning can only contribute to green growth if water is not perceived as a simple policy area (e.g. agricultural, energy or industrial policy). In the transition to the green economy, water planning needs to be converted into a cross-cutting policy, in order to guarantee that all other policies and projects from urban planning to agricultural policy are coherent with the collectively agreed objectives of water planning. Policy coherence is critical because of the limited ability of water ecosystems to meet all the increasing and competing demands for water in the economy. Global water demand is increasing due to population growth, rising living standards, and expanding production of agriculture, hydroelectricity, and the many goods and services for which water is an essential input. Water requirements today and in the future cannot be met unless all these uses of water are coordinated and water sources are conserved. Water planning enables the coordination and alignment of the many public policies (such as land use, urban and rural development, manufacturing and energy policies) and public policy objectives (such as economic efficiency, equity, basic needs coverage or cost recovery) which influence and are influenced by water management. Instead of being Page 5 of 13
6 another public sector action, water planning makes water policy a horizontal axis connecting and coordinating many individual areas of public policy. Green growth means increasing economic wealth and welfare without further deterioration of the water environment, and this is impossible without more efficient water allocation. But efficiency arguments are not valid when used to oppose the legitimate option of charging less than full cost recovery prices to provide basic water services in order to reduce poverty. Even in this case, there is a dilemma between subsidising water services and sustaining the provision of these services in the long term, for which self-financing is required. Cost effectiveness and budget constraints might also lead to excessive focus on the urban poor, offering them the lower cost alternative rather than providing water services to scattered populations in the rural areas. Deciding on the objectives for a river basin is a political and not a technical exercise. Identifying tradeoffs between different objectives and decision criteria in water management (such as efficiency, fairness, financial and environmental sustainability) is key to the planning process and provides the basis for political decisions to be made over what actions to take. A transparent planning process with stakeholder participation at all stages is essential and ensures that all voices are heard. Stakeholder engagement and public participation Effective water planning requires the cooperation and engagement of a wide range of stakeholders. Public participation helps construct a shared vision of the objectives, opportunities, challenges and collective and individual responsibilities involved in the management of water resources. It helps foster the perception of water as a collective asset to be preserved by mutual cooperation rather than a common pool resource to be depleted by open access and competition. When people are aware of the benefits of cooperation through, they have incentives to build a reputation of good behaviour and social responsibility, fines can be perceived as fair and the threat of moral sanctions can deter misbehaviour. But this collective action can only be based on the common perception that water benefits are distributed fairly. This requires trust that the water authorities represent the common interest and follow transparent rules instead of their own discretion. Cooperation also requires that individual behaviour is observable in such a way that deviations are detected and pay a cost. Building effective participatory water planning therefore requires proper incentives, and must ensure that decisions are perceived as fair, rules are enforced, and there is transparent and adequate information available to all. Aligning private decisions with collectively agreed goals. Page 6 of 13
7 Within limits any water user has the option to decide how much water to use, for what purpose, in combination with what other inputs. These decisions depend on many factors such as income generated by the productive activity, water prices, and installed water use technologies. For water planning, it is essential that all the decisions taken by water users are compatible with the different objectives of water policy. Incentives and regulations are then an important part of the package of measures in water plans. Charges for water services are one instrument to consider. If, for example, water is charged for with a flat rate, productive uses might have an incentive to use more water than their legally authorised water use rights, neglecting the needs of other downstream users and causing negative environmental impacts. These external impacts are not taken spontaneously into account in private decisions unless there are adequate incentives in the form of tariffs or penalties, controlled by a regulator. Energy subsidies, yield-linked agricultural subsidies and even water flat fees are all examples of incentives that may not be compatible with the objectives of water plans, including environmental goals. Water planning needs to address the compatibility of incentives transparently, identifying situations where these incentives are justified, and where they are not. Establishing collective responses to scarcity and risk Poor and water-scarce societies that are now trying to develop their water resources and provide basic water and sanitation services are faced with the potential adverse effects of climate change, constituting a real threat to development (World Bank 2010). Water planning is the proper institutional framework for coping with the challenge of adapting to climate change and for developing resilient and adaptive responses to drought, floods and other water related risks. Increasing uncertainty and competition for reliable water supplies makes devising water policy difficult and requires adaptive responses. Water allocation decisions and water demand management are especially crucial in the context of increasing competition and scarcity. The options that may need to be considered in water planning include, as proposed by the IPCC, no regret strategies and climate justified strategies. No regrets strategies are measures that are worth taking anyway, regardless of climate change. Water storage schemes and infrastructures, water conservation programmes, and improvements in efficiency are examples of the kinds of measures already considered as beneficial but that are even more valuable in a climate stressed context (see Korea s four rivers programme). Climate justified strategies are measures which need only be considered in the face of uncertainty, for example, diversification of water sources (such as desalination or non-conventional sources), the upgrading of storm water systems, the reversal of coastal developments to reduce exposure, the recovery of floodplains for flood Page 7 of 13
8 protection, and the recovery of aquifers for buffering security stocks. Achieving water security requires agreeing on a combination of the available options. Summary of the elements of the approach Obtaining consensus of the population. Not only are the goals and instruments of water planning important but also the procedural aspects of how these goals and instruments are chosen with the participation of all the potential stakeholders. Participation can promote the vision of water as a social and economic asset that needs to be properly preserved instead of only as a provider of services. This way water planning promotes a common and shared vision of water assets such as aquifers and river basins. Providing guidelines for economic activities and cities to make decisions on water use. Once the goals and instruments of water policy are agreed upon, many practical recommendations are given to individuals, firms and institutions so that they can adapt their actions in order to improve their contribution to water conservation and green growth. Making sustained welfare improvements and economic growth compatible with the recovery and adequate protection of water providing ecosystems. This is the essence of sustainable green growth. Coordinating individual actions with collectively agreed goals in terms of water use and water resources conservation. Water planning can be a powerful instrument to ensure that the actions of individual water users are not in contradiction with the common social goal of protecting water resources, making growth sustainable, and ensuring intra- and intergenerational justice. Avoiding the negative impact of individual, spontaneous and uncoordinated responses to natural disasters and climate change. These kind of responses can lead to water scarcity, impair water related ecosystems and increase inequalities and social exclusion. Water planning can foster collective, anticipated and planned responses to climate change, water scarcity, floods, droughts and other water related risks. Conflict resolution and management of the many social conflicts associated with the distribution of water among people, economic uses, time and regions. Planning is a means to foster collective agreements, public participation and consensus building which are basic elements to promote a common vision of the river basin as a collective asset. Page 8 of 13
9 Promoting social justice by guaranteeing basic human needs are met, despite the lack of market incentives to provide basic water and sanitation services. Planning can also promote equitable distribution of water use rights and water development opportunities among potential water users. Helping preserve water resources and water providing ecosystems. Instead of adapting water resources to the needs and demands of the economic system, the focus of IWRM is to ensure that economy expansion is not obtained at the expense of further degradation of water providing ecosystems, but on their improvement and adequate protection. Lessons learnt from implementation of planning processes The approach Reaching a social agreement on the desired balance between water use and water resource conservation Harnessing development opportunities and coping with water and development challenges Lessons learnt from implementation Setting the achievement of a good or fair ecological status of the water bodies as the main objective of River Basin Management Plans in the European Union has been an important element of water planning in the Ebro River Basin in Spain and has helped make economic development compatible with environmental objectives. Adopting a set of international commitments regarding the environmental status of the Mekong River Basin in Laos has been a central element of the coordination of water planning with national development policies. In Korea, clear objectives for the recovery of river ecosystems has been a critical element for increasing legitimacy and gaining public approval of an extended programme of water works and infrastructure development in Korea that is critical for sustaining economic growth. Water planning has played an essential role in the development of the agro food and energy complex that now represents a competitive advantage and a defining characteristic of the Ebro River Basin in Spain. In Laos, water policy has been the cornerstone the country s success in progress with the Millennium Development Goals and in the ongoing transition from a rural to a urban economy. Page 9 of 13
10 In Korea, water planning has been developed as an anticipatory strategy to foster economic growth, preserve the welfare gains already achieved and provide water security in the future. Building governance and institutional capabilities Coordinating public policies Stakeholder engagement and public participation Establishing collective responses to scarcity and risk Monitoring progress and compliance An ambitious programme of building water governance structures is already in place in Laos. Transparency, regulation and enforcement, and building technical competences are key elements for this strategy to succeed, as seen in the Ebro river basin. The simultaneous development of the energy, the agro food industry as well as urbanisation and the expansion of the manufacturing industry have been possible within the capacity of the limited water resources available in the Ebro river basin. The agreed commitments of the international Mekong agreement have been a central element in the National Development Plan of the Lao PDR and have contributed to the coherence between objectives in the different economic sectors and the general objectives of water policy. Active participatory mechanisms have contributed to the design of water management plans in the Ebro River, are being used in Laos and are an integral part in the management of water at local scales in Korea. The Water Framework Directive and the Mekong Agreement are promising examples of collective responses that have served to develop systematic efforts at a national and local level to respond to water challenges. The acquisition of technical skills, the development of information systems, the building up of reporting strategies, etc. are all elements that have contributed to the reputation and credibility of river basin authorities in the Ebro and in the case of Korea. The capacity of the Lao PDR to manage its own water challenges have given credibility to its commitments in the Mekong agreement and has allowed Laos, in spite of being a LDC, to improve its position with respect to other national partners. Page 10 of 13
11 Lesson learnt from the specific cases The lessons learnt from planning experiences are the following: Cases Laos Korea Lessons learnt from implementation of planning processes Water planning needs to be based on and accompanied by institutional development. It is important to foster water governance structures such as the establishment of River Basin Authorities. Investment in the appropriate technical skills and the information technology is essential for assessing the status and the potential of water resources for development, verifying the actual outcomes of water policy and for monitoring and enforcing the compliance of water regulations. Specific attention has to be given to the development of participatory decision frameworks and to favour stakeholders engagement in the policy making process. Focused efforts to improve the ability of stakeholders to manage information, compare complex water management options and also to agree on the objectives and instruments of water management are paying off. Fostering transparency of water allocation decisions and the gradual replacement of discretional decisions by rules and the application of norms is proving key to the avoidance of conflicts. Improving reporting and communication skills can foster the ability of water management to fulfil international agreements in the framework of the Mekong river agreement. Establishing clear objectives: The Four Major Rivers Restoration Project of South Korea is to restore the Han River, Nakdong River, Geum River and Yeongsan River in order to provide water security, flood control and ecosystem vitality. It has five key objectives: 1) securing abundant water resources against water scarcity; 2) implementing comprehensive flood control; 3) improving water quality and restoring ecosystems; 4) creation of multipurpose spaces for local residents; 5) regional development centred on rivers. More than 929 km of national streams will be restored as part of the Four Major River Restoration Project. Page 11 of 13
12 Linking it with national policy: This project was first announced as part of the "Green New Deal" policy launched in January It was later included in Korea's five-year national plan released in July Coordination of sectoral Ministries: The Four Major Rivers Restoration Project systematically approaches its objectives of restoring the rivers. As a comprehensive public project, the program includes a variety of plans submitted by several ministries, but coordinated by the Office of National River Restoration under the Ministry of Land, Transport and Maritime Affairs. The overall project consists of three sets of projects: 1) Main projects: the Han, Nakdong, Geum and Yeongsan rivers revitalization projects; 2) projects on the 14 tributaries of the four major rivers; 3) refurbishment for other smaller-sized streams. Spain (The Ebro River Basin Management Plan Establishing social development objectives: The Ebro Water Plan is a social opportunity to build a system of water management which is ethical, efficient and sustainable within the Ebro River Basin in Spain. Under the principles of Integrated Water Resources Management it includes ambitious environmental objectives (at least 85% of river water bodies will achieve good status by 2015), and also contributes to sustainable growth, strengthening the agro-food complex in the Ebro valley and the role of water as an energy source in a future which relies on energy from mostly renewable sources, and encourages the inclusion of new uses of water, such as recreational uses. Implementing key measures: The commitment to reduce pollution and the efforts to increase water efficiency are cornerstones of a process contributing to green growth. In particular, technologies for modernisation of irrigation in Ebro basin are necessary for efficient water management and the reduction of diffuse pollution, whilst simultaneously facilitating higher productivity. On the other hand, reducing pollution from point sources implies the creation of many green jobs. All in all, 56% of all the investments considered in the Ebro Water Plan are to improve water environmental status. References Global Water partnership (2000) Integrated Water Resources Management. TAC Background Paper. 4. Government of Spain (2011) Hydrological Project Plan for the Ebro Basin (Proposal). Confederación Hidrográfica del Ebro. Page 12 of 13
13 Lao People s Democratic Republic. Ministry of Planning and Investment (2011) The Seventh National Socio-Economic Development Plan ( ). Mekong River Commission (2010). Assessment of Basin Wide Development Scenarios. Technical Note 13: Economic Benefits and Costs. Mekong River Commission (2010) IWRM Based Basin Development Strategy for the Lower Mekong Basin. UNEP (2011) Water: Investing in Natural Capita. Green Economy. Background Technical Paper. Republic of Korea (2009) Master Plan of the Four Major Rivers Restoration, Office of National River Restoration. Page 13 of 13
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The Winsor & Newton BrushMarker provides unbeatable precision and control with both broad chisel and brush tip nibs, offering an array of line options. Featuring a line of 72 colors that range from pastel to bold hues, these highly blendable, translucent alcohol-based markets produce stunning, print quality streak-free coverage.

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Why do you like or dislike this movie?
Uploaded: 2015-08-15 Rating: % / Votes
Description: Sexy chick Henley Hart is a teen blonde chick that is looking for a massive cock that she could fuck. Henley Hart is already playing with her dripping wet pussy whent a massive cock arrived and she is just ready to be fucked. And with no hesitation the thick cock stretched that pussy apart


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|2011-08-09, 05:36
|Link #604
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: New York, United States
Change is inevitable... except from vending machines
Last edited by Ricky008; 2011-08-22 at 05:07.
|2011-12-27, 04:59
|Link #608
Onani Master
Well I couldn't get the Norwegian Forest Cat like I wanted due to the tortoise shell kittens being pre-sold in the litter I was interested in.
However through work I did find a kitten that looked like one which only cost me three minutes traveling, not $600 AUD. :3
And I never thought I'd see a scenario where tortoise shell markings made for the perfect camouflage... Get off my bed, Socks!
She's such a character.
|2011-12-27, 05:42
|Link #611
It's yuri, bitches
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Israel
Age: 21
|2012-04-10, 11:27
|Link #614
Hail the power of Fujoshi
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: hahahahahahahahaha
Age: 28
Felix the Cat! He is very mischievous, but this will never diminish my love for him.
3 weeks ago, he gave me quite a scare. Felix climbed to the top of a pine tree, and he couldn't get down. Called the RSPCA a number of times, but they did not respond to us. In the end, we had to rescue him ourselves. Below is the pic taken when he was still trapped on top of the tree. He was there for 2 days, meowing non-stop. Poor fellow.
|2012-04-11, 01:30
|Link #615
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 59
Meet Dammit. Yes... Dammit. It saves time
"Get Down, Dammit!"
"What in the hell are you doing, Dammit!?"
... and so on.
He also had a tree experience last year... we have Douglas Fir and he'd gotten outside and ended up on the lowest branch of one about 50 feet in the air. He was there for two days while we tried to get him down -- at one point I was squirting him with a high pressure hose just so he'd get some water and maybe I'd knock him off.
Finally, we used a bow to shoot a line over the branch, attached a basket to it with a food treat and hoisted it up. He immediately grasped the situation and got in for an elevator ride down. Then Dammit got a bath.
In his two years of life so far, Dammit has done about $180 damage to anime figures (The twintail head of Fate was one treasure he lusted after), shredded 3 posters, broken a couple of ceramics, and has the knack of turning power strips off. He wall walks like he's Neo, he loves to ambush women in skirts - he sticks his head and paws up inside and waps their butt, then delights in the furious screaming and chasing.
He is an agent of Evil, Chaos, Entropy, and Destruction - taking cues from each.
He also is deeply attached to our #1 son and mopes and pines when his favorite hairless monkey is out for a few days.
|2012-04-11, 12:48
|Link #618
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 59
But I think all cats are "tsuntsun" with a splash of sociopathic "dere" so there'd have to be a lot of gene vat work
|2012-04-11, 12:58
|Link #619
ばか =)
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland
Age: 31
This is a very blurry picture of my Kitty Tera (sort for Pantera) We have a big tim love hate relationship...she loves my bed, I hate her stealing my be, I love using her as a drinks coaster...she hates it, clearly.
|2012-04-23, 09:53
|Link #620
temporary safeguard
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Germany
Age: 36
Cats are incredibly stupid.
I got proof:
I had a cardboard box on the floor next to my workbench, where I would dump all kinds of cables into. One day my sister's cat comes along and thinks 'this is a nice place to take a nap!'.
Even though this can't possibly be comfty, the cat loved the box and came to sleep in it every day.
Eventually my cables were full of cat hairs, so I moved the the box.
The next time the cat comes along, it can't find it's favorite 'cat basket'.
But there is another box nearby.
It must be that same box, right? Naptime!
|pets, photography
|Thread Tools


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Company Description
The British Government is an inclusive and diversity-friendly employer. We value difference, promote equality and challenge discrimination, enhancing our organisational capability. We welcome and encourage applications from people of all backgrounds. We do not discriminate on the basis of disability, race, colour, ethnicity, gender, religion, sexual orientation, age, veteran status or other category protected by law.
Job Title: IT Support Officer
Job Description
Maintain and support the BHCs IT platform including both Software and Hardware
Liaise with the UK IT Helpdesk teams and other third parties to assist in resolving problems.
Operate as the BHC Abuja IT Team Leader and directly line manage all Deputy IT Support Officers (DITSO's).
Provide a focal point for users IT related queries.
Monitor the IT shared mailbox to ensure all problems are resolved in a timely fashion and to the IT teams SLA's.
Help ensure the security of IT systems and report any potential breaches of security.
Support and maintain support and maintain a variety of services to include VOIP telephony, data and video conferencing services
Support the BHC Unclassified Internet and its infrastructure.
Assist with provision and support of BHC supplied mobile phones, wireless network and wireless devices
Ensure established processes for IT support are followed at all times.
Job Qualification
BA, BSc, HND
Job Location
Job Category
Engineering, Technical, ICT, Computer , Graduates
Method of Application
Closing Date
27 April 2016
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Wednesday, 20 April 2016
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Why not make an appointment at our convenient local physiotherapy practice?
Some of the more common conditions which our Physiotherapists can assist you with include neck and back pain, arthritis, sporting injuries, headaches, work related injuries, and recovery following motor vehicle accident related injuries.
For more specific details see SERVICES and for more practice and staff information see ABOUT US.
We are open Mon – Fri 8am to 7pm and Saturday 8am – 2 pm. Call us on 9330 6100
Located inside the Melville Family Health Centre, Move Well Melville Physiotherapy is a HICAPS provider and our services are covered by health insurance providers. Move Well Melville is also a preferred provider for BUPA, Medibank Private, and HCF health funds. Please ask our receptionist for more details.
Move Well have been offering physiotherapy and rehabilitation services in Australia for over 25 years and as well as the Melville Clinic currently operate 16 clinics in Perth.
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CONTACT US at Move Well Physiotherapy Melville for inquiries or to make an appointment & see our location HERE.
Move Well CORPORATE HEALTH provides injury prevention programs and immediate onsite injury management.


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Having a large food stockpile is one of the main goals of every prepper. Unfortunately, many newbies think that all they have to do is run to the store and fill a cart with canned foods. This is a costly mistake. You need to take some time to figure out what foods to store and exactly how to store … [Read more...]
40 DIY Tricks To Make Your Groceries Last Longer
Most of the food-related articles on this site are about long-term food storage. For example, canning, dehydrating, and so forth. But it's also important to learn about short-term food storage. For example, making fruits and veggies last a few weeks instead of a few days. There are two reasons: … [Read more...]
Storing Dairy Without a Fridge
What about the milk and eggs? If you have a food stockpile, then at some point you probably asked yourself this question. Most people purchase milk and eggs every week, and the only place you can keep them is in the refrigerator. So how are you supposed to stock up on these things when they go bad … [Read more...]
10 Things That Will Destroy Your Food Storage Cache
Stocking up on food takes time, patience, and of course, money. When you look at the food on your shelves, remember that it was once money in your pocket. You wouldn't throw money away, but that's exactly what you're doing if you're not taking care of your food storage. That's not the only … [Read more...]
15 Food Storage Mistakes That New Preppers Make
Almost every prepper makes several food storage mistakes at the beginning. It's hard not to. Even experienced preppers still make mistakes every now and then. That's why I thought a post on food storage mistakes would be a good reminder for everyone. Here's what I came up with. Note: These are not … [Read more...]
10 Tips For Rotating Your Food Storage
You have heard it before, probably a hundred times during your prepping journey, but it is important to remind you again: Prepping is never done! It is a weekly task that shouldn't be neglected. You can't buy a bunch of food, water, and other supplies and leave it in the basement or the back of the … [Read more...]
Why Every Prepper Needs Diatomaceous Earth
Diatomaceous earth is something every prepper needs but that many preppers have never heard of. It kills critters in your food and around the house, it has many health benefits, it's cost-effective, and it's 100% natural. If you're a prepper or a homesteader and you aren't using diatomaceous earth … [Read more...]


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Grand Blue Fantasy Zeta Idol Ver. 1/7 Scale ABS & PVC Painted Completed Figure
- From the social game "Grand Blue Fantasy", Jeta is a three-dimensional model of the idol version of the costume invoked greatly at the April Fool event in 2015! In a gorgeous costume with cute poses and smiles filled with idleness masu!
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- Free Expedited Shipping from Japan: Receive your order in 3-6 business Days.
- (C) Cygames, Inc.
- Overall height: about 220 mm


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The deadline to join the Labour Party or register as a supporter and be able to vote in the 2015 leadership elections has now passed. Find out more about the leadership contest.
Although you can no longer register for a vote in Labour's leadership contest, you can still join the Labour Party. New members who joined after 3pm on Wednesday 12 August 2015 will be able to vote in future elections - and you will be able to shape the Labour Party locally and nationally. So join now and be part of the campaign for a fairer Britain.


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Wedding Photographer Makes a Splash When She Falls in Lake
It's never good to upstage the bride on her wedding day — especially when you work for her.
The bride and groom here are walking back up the aisle after they said their "I dos" while the photographer captures the moment. Unfortunately for the shutterbug, she falls into the lake, clearly taking the focus off the bride.
It's safe to say this will probably the most memorable thing about this wedding, whether you're the bride, groom, photographer or a third cousin twice removed on the bride's mother's side.
It's also safe to say that having a wedding so close to the water may not be all that it's cracked up to be. So, let this serve as a warning: when you go to a wedding by the water, please at least consider bringing a life vest.


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With First Tutors: Music you can find a Amlwch harp tutor. Harp lessons are the perfect method to learn a fun new hobby, pick up a new skill and attain confidence with harp. Try our site to find Amlwch harp teachers and select which matches your requirements so you can begin your harp tuition in Amlwch today!
First Tutors: Music is the only place to locate Amlwch harp tutors in the UK, helping you find Amlwch harp tuition in your area and Amlwch teachers to assist with any instrument such as piano, violin or guitar. We can help you find Amlwch harp tuition or a Amlwch harp tutor to prepare for harp grades and develop your harp skills! We order Amlwch harp teachers near you according to their lesson prices and proximity to you.
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Length of stay and mean cost of patients' hospitalization with healthcare-associated infections acquired in a national hospital in Senegal
International Conference on Prevention & Infection Control (ICPIC 2011)
International Conference on Prevention & Infection Control (ICPIC 2011)
Introduction / objectives
Economic data on healthcare-associated infections (HCAI) in resource-poor countries are practically nonexistent despite the importance of this issue. Healthcare costs are patients' charges whereas minimum wages is of 72€ in Senegal. The objective of our study was to estimate the length of stay (LOS) and the mean cost of stays of patients who have acquired a HCAI at
Retrospective analysis of the hospital stays' database between September and November 2010. Patients admitted in surgical unit, internal medicine unit and intensive care unit and for who at least a bacteriological test was found positive were selected. Probable cases of HCAI were included on clinical data as the delay of appearance, clinical and bacteriological signs like the presence of multiresistant bacteria. Hospital stay's cost was estimated by the daily cost, the cost of therapeutic acts and biological tests.
19 cases of HCAI were identified in 16 patients. The LOS is of 56 days for HCAI identified in surgical unit (SU), 39 days in internal medicine unit (IMU) and 20 days in intensive care unit (ICU). The mean cost of these patients' stays were of 2 793€ in SU, 1 734€ in IMU and 1 578€ in ICU.
Our study is not exhaustive since infections with no bacteriological data and viral and fungal infections were not included. However, results highlight the economic burden of HCAI. A case-control study would show the overcost induced by HCAI and results would give decisive argument for the prevention of these infections.
Disclosure of interest
None declared.
This abstract was also presented as Poster P351.


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The price is right.
17 Awesome Cameras and Accessories for the Photographer in Your Life
When it comes to gift giving, you can never go wrong with buying something for your friends they would never buy themselves. I love Diptyque candles just as much as the next girl but I have yet to purchase one myself; nevertheless, a Feu de Bois-scented votive is currently sitting at my bedside thanks to a lovely friend. Unexpected presents like a pair of cashmere slippers will be sure to fill your friends and family with a kind of happiness even eggnog couldn't match. This holiday season give the perfect amount of luxe without breaking the bank with our selects here.More
Everlane The Twill Snap Backpack, $65; everlane.com
Lanvin Printed Hard Shell Iphone 6 Case, $70; luisaviaroma.com
One Silky Patterned Shirt, Worn Five Different Ways


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Fake gore is a winner at Halloween parties and haunted houses. While expensive products are commercially available, you can easily and economically make fake brains and guts to disgust your guests and family. You can find the necessary supplies at the grocery store or drug store.
Things You'll Need
- Pumpkin, cabbage or rotini pasta
- 2 cups corn syrup
- 1 cup water
- 2/3 cup all-purpose flour
- 3 tbsp. red food coloring
- Clear container
- Nude-colored panty hose
- Scissors
- Paper towels
- Baking sheet
- 2 boxes of red gelatin
- 1 jar of salsa
Choose your brain matter materials. The insides of a pumpkin, cabbage and rotini pasta make good choices because they feel slimy when cold. If you decide to use cabbage, chop the cabbage and boil for 20 minutes. For the rotini pasta, boil it for about 10 minutes.
Refrigerate your brain matter.
Prepare fake blood while your brain matter is cooling off. Mix the corn syrup, water, flour and food coloring together. Stir vigorously until it is combined.
Take the brain matter out of the refrigerator and form it into a round blob. Slap in down into your clear container so the bottom flattens out.
Pour the fake blood over the brain matter. Display your fake brains prominently and encourage your guests to reach in a slosh them around.
Use your scissors to cut off the legs of the panty hose. Stuff the panty hose legs with paper towels, leaving about 3 inches empty at the end. Tie the end into a knot.
Boil 2 cups of water. Pour the boiling water over the red gelatin and stir until it dissolves. Then, stirring constantly, add 2 cups of cold water.
Arrange the stuffed panty hose legs on your baking sheet. Pour the liquid gelatin mixture over the legs. Place the baking sheet in the refrigerator. Refrigerate for about two hours, until the gelatin sets.
Take the fake intestines out of the refrigerator and pour the bottle of salsa over them. For an extra gross factor, choose extra chunky salsa. If you want to have exceptionally bloody intestines, use some of the fake blood your made for your brains.
Display your bloody intestines. Lie on a table and position the intestines so that they look like they are falling out of your abdomen. Wear clothes that you don't mind getting messy.
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Hyuna recently made her return as a solo artist with the new track "Because I'm the Best". During the first week of promotions while she held comeback stages, she also performed other tracks from the mini-album A+. On Music Core she teamed up with 10cm's Kwon Jung Yeol for the mid-tempo song "Get Outta My House". For this stage, Hyuna could be seen wearing a Nasty Gal Party Para Ti Suede dress (
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Shadow WorldEdit
Shadow World is a stage idea for any upcoming Playstation All Stars Battle Royale games. It is a mash up of the Persona series and the Gex series.
There is a trophy available for Yu Narukami if he uses his Level 3 Super move, All-Out Attack, on this stage.
Stage DescriptionEdit
The match starts in the typical battlefield used in Persona 4/Persona 4 Golden, with metal pillars in the background with widescreen TV's hanging off of them. Teddie is also seen in the background, cheering on random fighters and almost questioning why everyone's fighting. After a while has passed, surveillance monitors in the form of TV's start forming around the background and behind the foreground, as the middle of the floor just behind the fighters starts to cave into a circle shape, eventually turning the stage into Channel Z from Gex: Enter the Gecko, as Rez appears through one of the TV's and fires missiles at Teddie, scaring him off and flying into the middle of the arena and becoming a giant version of himself, and attacking the fighters on-screen. At the very end of the match, Teddie comes back and takes out Rez with a critical hit/Kintoki-Douji, and defeats him.
Characters appearing in stageEdit
- Teddie (Persona 4)
- Rez (Gex: Enter The Gecko)
The stage starts with a remixed version of "Pursuing My True Self" by Shoji Meguro from the Persona 4 Original Soundtrack, before leading into a remixed version of "Rez" by Kurt Harland from Gex: Enter The Gecko.


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Beck's wild rant: "What is wrong with us, America? Why are people not in the streets? Your republic is over"
From the July 22 edition of Fox News' Glenn Beck:
Beck reads Journolist story, suggests that journalists are trying to "destroy the republic" [1]
Beck says progressives "need anger in the streets" and "they need a race war or any kind of war pulling each other apart" [2]
Beck says some progressive groups don't have "a problem with blood in the streets" [3]
- Posted In
- Economy [5], Government [6]
- Network/Outlet
- Fox News Channel [7]
- Person
- Glenn Beck [8]
- Show/Publication
- Glenn Beck show [9]
- Stories/Interests
- Financial Regulatory Reform [10]


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WIN! One of 15 Liberro Realis™ Electronic Cigarette Starter Packs
If you're a smoker and you've been thinking of making the switch to a healthier alternative, then consider electronic cigarettes instead of tobacco cigarettes. You would be surprised just how realistic the Liberro Realis™ electronic cigarettes are. Equivalent in size to a king-size cigarette, they give you nicotine when you inhale and you even exhale what looks like smoke but it's only vapour. The vapour isn't harmful to those around you, either.
Fifteen at home readers have the chance to win a Liberro Realis™ starter pack. You get a personal charging case (which is like a cigarette pack, only more robust) and inside the charging case are two batteries and six tips, the tips contain e-liquid. You only need to charge your case and batteries, then unscrew the battery, screw into a tip and inhale. Ditch the tar, carbon monoxide, ash and smell and make the switch to electronic cigarettes.
Check out Liberro's website at www.liberro.co.uk or call its customer service team on 0800 111 4753.
For your chance to win just fill in the form below:
Terms & Conditions
1. Closing date is 30th June 2012
2. This offer is only open to UK residents.
3. For standard EMP Competition terms and conditions click here
Please note: When you enter our competitions you are also opting in to the At Home email newsletter (you can unsubscribe at any time) and email and mail communications from the competition prize provider. Your phone details should only be used for prize notification purposes by the competition prize providers as they are only given to them in that capacity.
Click here to find out what other competitions at home magazine is running
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{rsform 112}


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(Scene opens up showing Mr. Slushy Burger while Jeremy and Candace are talking on their phones)
Jeremy: So, Candace, you made a teddy bear out of baklava?
Candace: Yeah, bears like honey. Bakalva's made with honey. (tastes some of her baklava bear)
Jeremy: (on phone) Oh, so it's like a statement?
Candace: You think it's weird, don't you?
Jeremy: No, not weird, it's just-- (a customer walks up) Oh, wait, I got a customer, Candace. I'll - I'll call you later, okay?
Candace: (hangs up) He thinks it's weird. Why is it that when Phineas and Ferb have an idea, everyone's like (deep voice) "Oh, wow, you guys are really clever!" (normal voice) And when I come up with something, everyone goes "What? Did you say something, Candace?" (picks up the baklava bear, now covered with ants) Oh you know what I'm talking about, baklava bear. Ew! (after seeing the ants, she quickly throws the bear onto the ground)
Phineas: Hey, Candace. Have you just seen a chicken wearing a baseball hat run by here?
Candace: No, why?
Phineas: It was his turn to bat and-- (notices the ants harvesting the broken baklava bear) Ooh! Are you still using these ants?
Candace: Those aren't my ants! Do whatever you want with them. (goes inside the house)
Phineas: Look, Ferb. Wouldn't it be great to be part of an ant society? They're so efficient and productive. They're like tiny "us-es". Hey, speaking of us, where's Perry?
(Switches to Perry's lair. Perry enters to find Carl, an angry Major Monogram, and a broken screen)
Major Monogram: Sorry, Agent P. Your monitor is on the fritz today...thanks to someone who isn't aware that croquet is an outdoor game.
Carl: Again, sir, there was nothing on the box to indicate--
Major Monogram: Anyway, let's get this show on the road, shall we? (Carl hoists a cardboard replica of the screen and stops it with a rock) Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been collecting some extremely unusual items the last few days. Uh, some of the odd purchases include—Carl, where are my inserts?
Carl: Oh, sorry, sir. Do that last bit again.
Major Monogram: (while he is speaking, Carl holds up images of each items) Some of the odd purchases include: biomolecular components simply used to make organic computers, a giant pilgrim hat, and most curious of all, a huge pair of food booties, used on the end of turkey legs for decoration. You know, Carl, I really like working live, it reminds me of my days in the theater group back at...The Academy.
(people booing)
Man 1: Francis, you stink!
Man 2: Get off the stage!
(Flashback ends)
Major Monogram: Anywho, Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to something sinister. Find out what it is and report back. Monogram, out. Carl, fade out. (Carl pushes a button on a remote which turns the room pitch black, and the only things visible are the eyes of Agent P, Carl and Major Monogram) Man. You can go now, Agent P. (he does so) Okay, Carl. Turn on the lights. (pause) Carl? (man laughing manically) Stop it, Carl.
Carl: That wasn't me.
(Switches to the Flynn-Fletcher backyard)
Phineas: Ladies and gentlemen, gape in awe at the sheer spectacle that is...the Antius Maximus!
(Ferb unveils the prototype version of the said invention, as a fly hits it)
Buford: Heh, more like the Anti-Cli-maximus. (elbows Baljeet) Hehheh, yeah?
Baljeet: (sarcastically) Yes, I got it.
Phineas: Oh that was just a scale model to get the investors interested. This is the real thing.
(screen pans over to the real version of the Antius Maximus)
Baljeet: Woah!
Isabella: How did we miss that?
Phineas: And right over there is Ferb's resize-nizer.
Baljeet: What does that do?
Phineas: Well, you find an anthill and then, you add a scoop of it to the pot. Then, the ant Resize-inizer will rain enlarging fluid onto the dirt pile, and cause the ants to move towards the large synthostatic light, making them bigger. Then they continue to the Antius Maximus, the perfect place for the larger ants to live. In no time, we should have an ant farm filled with giant ants. Or Gi-ants.
Isabella: (she and Baljeet applaud) Nice one!
Baljeet: Oh, Clever wordsmithing, good sir!
Phineas: Thank you.
Buford: Oh, fine. And I just get an eye-roll for Anti-Climaximus?
(Switches to Candace in her room)
Candace: Oh, what the heck is that thing? (walks out) Oh, I'm gonna go tell Mom.
(Switches to the exterior of the Antius Maximus, everyone is wearing headbands with ant antennae)
Phineas: In order to move amongst the ants without upsetting them, we need to douse ourselves in ant pheromones. It's sort of like ant cologne, which will make them think that we're one of them. But not too much! We don't want them getting too friendly! (presses a yellow button)
Buford: Bum bum bum...
Baljeet: Stop it, Buford.
(A pink gust of ant pheromones covers everyone, and an orchestral chord stings. Everyone but Phineas and Ferb scream and cough)
Buford: It smells like my grandma's house!
Isabella: Why does your grandmother's house smell like ant pheromone?
Buford: Have you met my grandma?
(They go inside)
Isabella: Let's go see what the ants think of our new cologne.
Phineas: You know what I like about our friends? We say things like "We're gonna douse you with ant pheromones" and they're just like "Okay, whatever". They're so cool!
(Switches to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, where Perry uses his grappling hook to climb to the top of the structure and gets trapped in a pilgrim hat)
Doofenshmirtz: Ha! (opens the buckle door) Perry the Platypus?
(Perry nudges his head down to a point where part of his face is visible)
Doofenshmirtz: There's my guy. Why the Thanksgiving-themed trap, you may ask? You know how you get all and lethargic after you eat Thanksgiving dinner? Well, it's not because you're really full and, you know, slightly out of shape. It's because of all the tryptophan in the turkey. Now imagine, if the turkey were say the size of...a car or a building, there would be no resisting the tryptophanicle level of nature's little sleeping potion. That—is why—I created: the Turkey-inator! (pauses for dramatic effect) Wait, can you—can you see it from that little door, or do I have to move the hat, or—you're good? You're good. With this, I will fly over the city turning things into turkey all willy nilly, then—no one will be able to resist the all of that perfectly cooked turkey, goodness. And once the tryptophan cooks in, I'll take over the Tri-State Area with ease! Won't that be trypto-fun? Heeheehee. You know, "tryptophan", trypto...it's...you know, like...I'm wasting all this wordsmithing on a platypus.
(Switches to the Garcia-Shapiro house)
Linda: (offscreen) Candace, you know Wednesday is my Famous Statues Life Drawing class. (she is dressed as the Statue of Liberty) This had better be important...
Candace: Mom, Phineas and Ferb are building a huge glass and sand thing in the yard, it looks like a giant ant farm, but I don't know what it does!
Linda: Candace, please--
Vivian: (offscreen) Hold still, Linda!
Linda: (through teeth) Look, Candace, this is just gonna have to wait until I can take a break.
Candace: But Mom, they're abusing their liberty! Don't you find that ironic?
Linda: Not enough to act upon right now, dear.
Candace: (leaving) Okay, fine.
(Switches back to Evil Incorporated)
Doofenshmirtz: So long, Perry the Platypus! Next time you see me, I will be the indisputable ruler of the Tri-State Area! (flies off on his inator) And when I say "indisputable", I mean totally disputable! Wait, no, no that doesn't work, I mean...uh-uh-putable! I-I mean puta—no. Eh, the moment's gone.
(Switches to the exterior of the Antius Maximus)
Candace: Phineas and Ferb, let me in! (pushes button; gets covered in ant pheromones) Ew! What the heck is wrong with this doorbell?! Hello? (pushes button again; gets covered in more pheromones) Ow! Oh, it got in my eyes! (pushes button once again; gets covered in more pheromones) Hellooooo?! (presses it three more times) Ugh, it tastes like Buford's grandmother's house! That is it! (goes inside Antius Maximus) When I lay my hands on them, aha! (while inside) Phineas and Ferb, you are soooo buuuu... (seeing giant ant) bu......bu...buggy? Yeah, uh, you know what? (chuckles) This is the wrong giant ant farm. I'm just gonna head out, okay? But being a job on the whole digging thing, really. Okay? (sees another ant) Oh, hello, yeah, take it easy.
(Song: "Ants")
♪ (Ants...)
Candace: (sees more ants) (chuckles) I-I guess I can stay for a little. Ha! No need to crowd, okay?!
♪ Livin' in an ant society (Ants...) ♪
♪ With ants much bigger than you and me (Ants...) ♪
♪ Diggin' in tunnels, it's a crazy scene (Ants...)♪
♪ With soldiers, drones and one big queen ♪
Phineas: Cool!
♪ (Ants...) ♪
♪ Ah, you can spend your lives in here, it's great ♪
♪ We can lift 10 times our body weight ♪
♪ (Ants...) (4x) ♪
Phineas: Hey, I wonder where they're going?
Baljeet: Probably to see their queen.
Phineas: Good idea! Let's go see the queen! (seeing Candace in throne) Wow. Candace? You're queen?
Candace: You know, you should really fix that doorbell. I must've pressed it like 10 times, and all it did was squirt sticky stuff on me.
Phineas: The pheromones! Oh, that's why the ants think you're their queen! So, what's it like to have millions of ants at your beck and call?
Candace: Oh, it's great. Finally, someone understands my ideas. Only, they keep bringing me crumbs and grasshopper legs. I could really go for a salad. (an ant goes to make a salad) And you think, they'd have a fancy queen dress, or something. (another ant goes to make a dress)
Phineas: Hey, I wonder where are they going? (all but Candace exit)
Candace: Hey, get back here! What's the point of being queen if you're all alone?! (eating crumbs) Say, these bread crumbs aren't bad!
(Switches to the Turkey-inator)
Doofenshmirtz: Time to start my Turkey Takeover! Commence random firing! (the Turkey-inator hits the following items: a passenger train that turns into turkey wings, a mailbox that turns into a turkey wing, which is eaten by two mail carriers, a cooked turkey, Perry's trap that turns into a turkey leg, in which Perry is led to escape) This is great! With Perry the Platypus out of the way, I can finish my sentences without getting punched in the-- (Perry punches him in the face mid-sentence)
(Switches to the interior of the Antius Maximus)
Phineas: Candace! You've gotta see what the ants are up to! I think you really made an impression on them. Candace: So, what'd they do?
Phineas: Well, you asked for a salad and a queen dress, so first, they evolved from a hunter-and-gatherer society, to an agrarian society. Look, they mastered farming in less than 10 minutes.
Baljeet: Then, they put it all together to make you this salad. There are still grasshopper legs in it, but other than that, it is not bad.
Phineas: Then, three minutes ago, they had an Industrial Revolution. Check it out! They're weaving the fabrics needed to make a dress for you!
Isabella: Wow, Candace, you're probably the most progressive Ant Queen ever!
Candace: This is so cool! I should call Jeremy and tell him. (looks at cell phone) Oh, there's no service in here. Nice. (at three of the ants) You there! Make there be cell service for your queen!
Phineas: You think that's a good idea?
Candace: Oh, like you'd never tamper with the delicately balanced, yet awesome power of nature.
(Switches back to the Turkey-inator)
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, Perry the Platypus, take that! And that! (gets head stuck in control board) Oh! Oh, man, that's disgusting! Still, it can't be the first time someone's got their head stuck in a turkey.
(Switches to the Antius Maximus)
Candace: Soooo, how are my subjects doing?
Phineas: Shouldn't be long now. It looks like they entered the information age.
Baljeet: They are really into online gaming now! Hey, who cast a sleep spell on me and stole all my gold? Ugh!
Phineas: Now that everything is automated, they have more time to devote for fun.
(the ants are seen playing arcade games)
Candace: Fun?! What about my cell service? Get back to work, you lazy ants! Your queen commands it!
(The ants kick Candace out)
Phineas: Huh, would you look at that? Apparently, they've advanced beyond the need for a monarchy!
Ant: (bangs gavel) Motion carried.
Candace: Fine! If I can't be queen, then it's busting time!
Phineas: Hey, guys. Why is it so quiet in here?
Baljeet: The ants have left.
Isabella: They said something about needing to find themselves.
(the friends walk outside to see the ants levitating)
Phineas: Oh, cool!
Ant: Greetings, Phineas. We have achieved total enlightment, and have transcended the need of maternal things, like ant farms.
Phineas: Wow! Good for you!
Ant: Our new colony will traverse the galaxy in search of the fabled Picnic Planet. (the Turkey-inator hits the Antius Maximus, turning it into an over-sized cooked turkey)
Oh, good, turkey! We can take that with us as an in-flight snack! Goodbye, Phineas and Ferb.
(the ants leave, taking the turkey with them)
Phineas: Goodbye! Have a good time evolving past the need for physical existence!
Candace: (dragging Linda into the backyard) As you'll see, the ants are the size of humans! (realizes it isn't there) Ta-da?
Linda: Oh, yes. I see. (at Phineas, Ferb, and their friends) Greetings, human-sized ants.
Phineas: Hi, Mom!
Candace: No! There were actually ants the size of people! (puts crown on head) See?! I was their queen!
Phineas: Yeah, Mom. Candace inadvertently caused the ants to evolve.
Candace: Exactly, and I was their queen!
Linda: Wow, Candace. Just like on Mars. (walks away waving)
Candace: I was—I -- Oh, forget it, I'm gonna go call Jeremy. (walks off, cell phone in hand)
Phineas: (to Ferb) Do you think the ants will return some day?
Ferb: Yes. Probably while we're having a picnic.
(Switches to the Turkey-inator, where Doofenshmirtz's head is still stuck in the control board)
Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus, be a dear and help a brother out. Can't seem to -- (Perry takes the control board off his head) Oh! Oh, thanks. (Turns around) No! What are you doing?!
(Perry points the control board in such a way, the Turkey-inator hits itself, turning it into an over-sized turkey. He then escapes, via para-sail, before the turkey catches fire while falling towards the street.) Curse you, Perry the Platypus...! (When hitting the ground, the turkey forms a massive explosion.)
Doofenshmirtz: (groans) I feel like a giblet.
End credits
(Song: "[[Ants]"])
♪ Livin' in an ant society (Ants...) ♪
♪ With ants much bigger than you and me (Ants...) ♪
♪ Diggin' in tunnels, it's a crazy scene (Ants...)♪
♪ With soldiers, drones and one big queen ♪
Phineas: Cool!
♪ (Ants...) ♪
♪ Ah, you can spend your lives in here, it's great ♪
♪ We can lift 10 times our body weight ♪