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Barber: Joslyn Ruth Barber (6 pounds, 13 ounces) was born on Jan. 29, 2018 at Beatrice Community Hospital. Parents are Joel and Bobbi Barber of Fairbury. Grandparents are Greg and Sue Novotny of Diller and Don and Nancy Barber of Fairbury.
Niemeier: Randi John Niemeier (8 pounds, 13.6 ounces) was born on Jan. 29, 2018 at Beatrice Community Hospital. Parents are John D. Niemeier and Lydia Cathleen Niemeier of Beatrice. Grandparents are David J. and Rosemary Niemeier of Beatrice, Timothy and Cynthia Wagner of Beatrice. Great-grandparents are Ila Burger and the late Harlan Burger of Plymouth, the late Delbert and Gladys Niemeier of Beatrice, Arthur and Eleanor Wagnor of Imperial, the late Charles and Doris Johnson of Imperial.
Osienger: Melah Maxine Osienger (5 pounds, 5 ounces) was born on Jan. 31, 2018 at Beatrice Community Hospital. Parents are Richard J. Osienger and Haleigh M. Newman of Beatrice. Grandparents are Rich and Becky Kerr, Matt and Amy Hanshaw, Craig and Lisa Evers, all of Beatrice. Great-grandparents are Dale and Cindy Evers, Charles Higgins, Aletha Davison and Marilyn Dissmeyer, all of Beatrice, Max and Buelah Hanshaw of Endicott, Jerry and Gerry Hepp of Lincoln.


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subset: commoncrawl


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The wheels are in the paint shop!
dropped them in the other day then popped back in this afternoon to see the two custom colours they made up. one was a zircon/champagne colour which was far to timid and the other is a brass/bronze colour which was exactly what i asked for.
Hoping to collect them on Monday as I'm busy the rest of the week at work.
I'll have a picture update as soon as they are on!
To keep myself occupied while I'm waiting for my wheels I got myself a little toy to play with...
Forza 3. The best game I have ever played I may be a little bias as my favourite game before this was Forza 2. The gameplay is so smooth. and all the textures are beautiful. An amazing game, Buy it!


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Dr. George Herschel Yeager, a vascular surgeon and administrator who "fixed bodies as well as hospitals," died of complications from a stroke Sunday at the University of Maryland Medical Center. He was 92 and lived in Catonsville.
Dr. Yeager's association with the University of Maryland began in medical school in 1927 and ended in 1973, when he retired as a professor of clinical surgery.
"He was a giant and one of the great figures of the University of Maryland School of Medicine," Dr. Joseph McLaughlin, a professor of surgery at UM's medical school, said yesterday.


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Hey everyone -
I spotted this 12 week course on stack social. It's supposed to be $500 regular and it's on sale for $39.
I haven't used it, but if it's even half of what it's promising it doesn't seem like a bad deal for someone looking for a structured way to get started. Just thought I'd share in case you're interested. I'm tempted to buy it just so I can see what it's about.
@Angel_Jose I am considering this....would you want to do "together" kinda like a 12 week code club? Sync up once/twice a week?
Lemme know....this goes for anyone else too
I just signed up for this, thanks for sharing @Angel_Jose. Need a break from Treehouse. I'll let you guys know how it goes.
Did you start it yet? If so how are you liking it?
Hey, wanted to report that I have taken this course. I had a week or so before I began a more reputable online bootcamp so I saw this deal and jumped on it. For $39, it's a steal. There are hours and hours and hours of video instruction on building a fully functional rails app. The instructor (Rob Dey) is really impressive. He explains things in a polished and effective manner. You learn just a little bit of html and css before jumping into rails, and he relies on codecademy for "homework assignments," but it was a pretty immersive and complex experience for a newbie (which is a great thing). You learn to use devise, figaro, stripe, paperclip to name a few. It was my very first rails app, but he holds your hand through every step and why you're doing it. It was tough to grasp everything, but I think it had tremendous impact. I had some bugs with deploying to heroku, and the instructor set up a screencast and we worked through the issues.
If you want, you can check out the application he helps you build here: http://dev-match.herokuapp.com Choose the "pro" account and put in fake email and fake credit card number. It's nothing fancy in retrospect, but for a newbie/first-timer it was pretty complicated behind the scenes.
I finished 90% of the course in about 5 days (it's pretty much all I did) and watched the videos on 1.5x speed. I highly recommend it! Hell, I probably woulda paid a couple hundred dollars for it, and at $39? No-brainer. (The last 10% is external sites and resources on more advanced javascript, cs fundamentals, etc - I hope to get to it after my bootcamp)
I have been going through this course...it is really good. He uses a lot of project based lessons, which I think give context. Downside is codecademy is used for the reinforcement of principles, so if you take issue with the their style, this may not be right for you.
I have been getting a lot out of it being new to Ruby and rails.
I recently finished this course and I highly recommend it. Now I've just ordered my first Ruby book, and will look into the advance Ruby course on Codeacademy to round out my knowledge.
Greetings,I am 75% through and have been stuck for 3 weeks trying to get my first test credit card to go through on Stripe. I have come to the conclusion a Coder Manual person is best to collaborate on Cloud9 and fix my code. I am willing to pay!! Let me know if you are firstname.lastname@example.com


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**Includes the entire series**
Book 1: Saving Me. Theo is a shy kid who is in love with his best friend Beau, but Beau doesn't love him. In fact he is a homophobic and he tells everyone Theo is gay. Since then Theo is the most bullied kid in school, on top of being terrorized at home. But no one can be as cruel to Theo, than Theo himself. He is his own worst bully.
Book 2: Saving You. Theo was in love with his former best friend Beau, who made his life miserable, but now Theo has something better in his life. Is it a mistake when Theo falls in love again, and can a certain someone heal his wounded soul? Can Theo save him, before it's too late?
Book 3: Saving Us. Everything was supposed to be great. Theo had finally found love and happiness. But an horrible accident steals his love away from Theo. Losing his boyfriend is not the worst part, and Theo's own heart must be strong enough to face the cruel outcome of the accident and fight for what belongs to him.
Book 4: Saving Him. The past year hasn't been easy for Theo. It seems like his life is cursed, but how much more one person can take? His cruel life keeps pushing him closer to the edge, and when it finally comes, when he is finally pushed too far, it is up to his boyfriend and new friends to be the strong ones, and save him from his worst enemy: from himself. Can he recover, and learn to live with the constant fear of losing everything? And, will he find the answer to the question which burns in his mind: Why did his life turn out the way it did?
- badboy
- boyxboy
- bullied
- bxb
- emo
- fiction
- freethelgbt
- gay
- lgbt
- lgbtq
- love
- malexmale
- mxm
- realistic
- romance
- teen
- yaoi
HateChaos17 Nov 30, 2017
I can already tell that this is going to be a realistic book
Arikonae_books Aug 13, 2017
Oh honey! Your not disgusting! Your Beautiful no matter what they say! Your life is so precious and I know your mother is watching over you and loving you still with all her might! And we love you too!
shslcrybaby Jul 28, 2017
I just just JUST got your book and I'm exploding with happiness. You're such a great author, you don't even understand how happy I am that I found you and your beautiful stories. 😂 Thank you, Dolly. Thank you for all your written stories.
sky8998 Jun 29, 2017
Your an angel 😅 think I'd be kicked out the house if my mom found the physical copy so I'm glad your keeping this up ☺😘
LuxDemon Aug 21, 2017
I am gonna be ordering when I have the money on my card (haven't looked at it to see a price yet) but I think this is the 6th or 7th time I've read the story and I started at the begging of book 1 and followed from quotev XD
Leo_Cervidae Oct 07, 2016
Ordered a copy and it's literally just come!! I'm currently freaking out as it's so awesome!!!!


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It is all worked out. Luke will go to Tatouine on Monday to pick up some food for my pet, Dood (wondering why? click here). I will stay here, on Nabu.
I am currently working on creating a droid. His name will probably be V2W9. I mean, See3P0's kinda getting old, and he has been our butler for a while. Padmae and I will probably let him retire.
Oh, I almost forgot: has anyone seen the Lego Star Wars movie on the Lego web site entitled: The Revenge of the Brick? If not, just click here to view it. It's hilarious!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
To Pack,...Somebody Else's Suitcase
Posted by Storm Trooper 731 at 10:42 AM
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)


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Berner opens up the very first recreational marijuana dispensary called "Cookies" in Maywood, California. Shot and edited by Pedro Garcia
MAYWOOD, Calif. (KABC) — The tiny city of Maywood is jumping in on the cannabis craze, hoping it will result in big profits. A new dispensary,...
Berner & B-Real perform hits off their mixtape collab "The Prescription 1 & 2" at the Tommy Chong 2017 Blazers Cup in San Bernardino, California.
Off his latest collaboration album 'Tracking Numbers' with Young Dolph, Berner releases new Single 'Knuckles' featuring Gucci Mane. Source : Soundcloud
Berner and Styles P collaborated for the album 'Vibes' featuring many artists like B Real, ScHoolboy Q, Wiz Khalifa and many more. Source : Soundcloud
Berner drops a new single featuring Styles P & Schoolboy Q called 'Table' off his latest album 'Vibes' set to drop June 23. Source : Soundcloud


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September 4, 2014
Between Summer and Fall on the Deck
8 comments:
That looks so pretty Liz...now I want to make a trip to the nursery!!ReplyDelete
Looks lovely Liz. Your flowers are so pretty. You definitely caved in....LOL Happy SeptemberReplyDelete
This is so pretty, Liz! You create such beautiful vignettes...inside and out! The deck looks great!ReplyDelete
Liz, come and do my porch! You are amazing!!ReplyDelete
That is brilliant to repot for fall! My summer pots are pretty tired now. I love everything you did!
Great looking container and I like your plant choices, especially the cabbage. My plants on the deck are slightly crispy. They fried when we were at the beach, even though I watered them before we left. Thanks for the gardening inspiration.ReplyDelete
Your plants are always so beautiful, Liz. Love, love the look of your deck with the Fall touches. So pretty!ReplyDelete
Looks so good Liz. I want to head out to the garden shop this weekend but it is still a bit hot here. Love your harvest rake sign. Have a great weekend.ReplyDelete
Good morning, Liz! Popping in to say hello and see what you're doing outside. I know I can always get great tips, and this time was no exception. I'm hoping to buy some mums in the coming week, and I'll be sure to get those that aren't all bloomed out yet. Thank you for that! I want them to last for a while!!!ReplyDelete
Kale is so popular for eating now...I hope it's not super, super pricey for decorating this year! I love decorating with cabbages and kale and all those really cool, textural veggies!
Have a great weekend!!!!!!! Enjoy the fruits of your labor!
Thank you so much for leaving your comments! They are appreciated and always read. I can't always to reply each one but I do love hearing from you! Please note that due to increased security settings by Google I don't seem to get comments in my Gmail that come from AOL or Yahoo.
Because of spammers annonymous comments are not allowed anymore, sorry for the inconvenience.
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Working this clients can be a difficult task. With lots of training and practice designing logos or web sites and very little practice or official training on working with people, it's easy for us to make serious mistakes when working […]
Working this clients can be a difficult task. With lots of training and practice designing logos or web sites and very little practice or official training on working with people, it's easy for us to make serious mistakes when working […]
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Mr M from beautiful Prestatyn in Denbighshire was 27 when his work accident occurred; he approached Michael Lewin to make a compensation claim on his behalf.
MrM was based in Prestatyn in Denbighshire when he slipped on a wet floor in his workplace pulling a pan of hot oil over himself as he fell. Unfortunately our client had tried to steady himself as he fell but he had actually ended up pulling a pan of hot oil over himself.
Slips can be prevented by following some common sense guidelines
? Tables should have lips around them to prevent liquids from dripping from work surfaces this is a common slip hazard
? Walkways should always be kept clear of obstructions
? Spills should be immediately dealt with and where possible this should be attempted as a liquid free clean up
? Floors should be designed to be non- slippery if it is expected that they may have liquids dropped on them frequently
? Cleaning staff should be prevented from using cleaning products which can increase the slip factor of the floor surface as an example furniture polish on a smooth tile could prove to be a very bad idea
? Footwear which is chosen for the role is always a good idea if accident are to be avoided
These guidelines are just things which should have been considered in your workplace's health and safety manual. The health and safety guidance documents in work should take into account the environment in which you work; it should have considered the potential risks which exist in your workplace.
If you need to claim for a work accident for which you need to make a compensation claim as you have lost money financially Michael Lewin can help.
If you are not aware that your work has this type of documentation you can ask to see it. A lack of a health and safety document in a staff of over 5 is a sign that your employer might not be taking his or her responsibilities as an employer very seriously.
Michael Lewin are always delighted to help clients who have suffered from accidents at work which were not their fault. We can give you advice about your claim for free and when we take on a case we can work on a no win no fee basis. You have nothing to lose and potentially a lot to gain from a call to us.
We can give the initial advice for free over the phone and our helpful staff will be able to tell you there and then if your claim is something they can take on a no win no fee basis.
For more information and to see how much your claim could potentially be worth call our experts today.
Call Michael Lewin on0844 499 9302 to start yourwork accident compensation claim with our highly skilled staff today.


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Tinker Bell Patterned Mug
now £5.03 reg £6.29 , you save: 20%
Item no. 465035166655
FREE Returns
FREE Delivery* on orders over £50
Mischievous Tinker Bell will bring a touch of magic to your coffee break with this characterful mug! The detailed design features a contrasting interior and beautiful character artwork on a pretty floral background.See more See less
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Show some love for your favorite Sorcerer Supreme when you rock this Doctor Strange tee. Featuring Doctor Strange in an old-school comic book art style, as well as his name in an ambigram design down side, any Doctor Strange fan is sure to look awesome in this shirt!
Sold Out.


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53 - 95 Pinewood DR, Thunder Bay - Postal Code
Blocks from 53 to 95, at Pinewood DR in Thunder Bay, Ontario (ON) Province have a unique postal code
53 - 95 Pinewood DR, Thunder Bay Area Code is 807 and Time Zone is Central (GMT -06:00).
Remember you have 2 kinds of blocks: even or odd. In this case you are matching Even and Odd numbers for this block
53 Pinewood DR Postal Code
Thunder Bay Postal Code contains Forward sortation areas + LDU (Local Delivery Units).
The first letter of an FSA code denotes a particular "postal district", and the last three characters denote a Thunder Bay (ON) local delivery unit (LDU). An LDU denotes a specific Thunder Bay single address, like 53 to 95 Pinewood DR street block or range of Pinewood DR addresses, which can correspond to an entire small town, a significant part of a medium-sized town, a single side of a city block in larger cities, a single large building or a portion of a very large one, a single (large) institution such as a university or a hospital, or a business that receives large volumes of mail on a regular basis in Ontario.
The postal code from addresses 53 to 95, applies to residential houses, business, buildings, and every property with Even and Odd numeration in this range. Average elevation for this area is 223 meters.
53 Pinewood DR, Thunder Bay, postal code, Even and Odd block, is valid to this street addresses:
- Pinewood DR 53
- Pinewood DR 55
- Pinewood DR 57
- Pinewood DR 59
- Pinewood DR 61
- Pinewood DR 63
- Pinewood DR 65
- Pinewood DR 67
- Pinewood DR 69
- Pinewood DR 71
- Pinewood DR 73
- Pinewood DR 75
- Pinewood DR 77
- Pinewood DR 79
- Pinewood DR 81
- Pinewood DR 83
- Pinewood DR 85
- Pinewood DR 87
- Pinewood DR 89
- Pinewood DR 91
- Pinewood DR 93
- Pinewood DR 95
Street View 53 - Thunder Bay Pinewood DR
53 Pinewood DR Street View
Next one, is the 53 - 95 Pinewood DR, Thunder Bay Google Street View. This view is created by the Google Team for Pinewood DR in Thunder Bay, Ontario - Ontario, CA.


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Book Nook 2 ReviewsGreat store
I love this place, very good selection and great staff!
Mind Shop The At Positive Living Center 1 ReviewsDifferent & Refreshing
This was my first visit here and I'm impressed! The store was big but not so big it was overwhelming or confusing and it smelled sooo darn good in t...
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A lot of times I come here to get a book instead of the obvious choice (Borders, Barnes and Noble) because it is closer and easier to get to because t...
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This is a relatively small but cozy bookstore. They do have a good selection of books and cater to every need. If they do not have what you need, th...


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Ingredient List
* 8 oz. rotini, shells or other short pasta
* 3 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
* 2 Tbs. red wine vinegar
* 2 cloves garlic, minced
* Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
* 1 cup cherry tomatoes
* 2 medium-sized zucchini, cut lengthwise into quarters
* 1 red bell pepper, quartered and seeded
* 1 bunch scallions, trimmed
* 1 cup black brine-cured olives, such as kalamata
* 2 Tbs. chopped fresh oregano
* 2 Tbs. chopped fresh basil
1. Prepare medium-hot charcoal fire, or preheat gas grill (or broiler).
2. Bring large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta, and cook until al dente, about 7 minutes. Drain, and rinse thoroughly to cool. Transfer to large bowl, and toss with 1 Tbs. olive oil.
3. Whisk together remaining olive oil, vinegar, garlic, salt and pepper in 9x13-inch baking dish. Add tomatoes, zucchini, red pepper and scallions, and toss to coat with oil mixture. Thread cherry tomatoes on wooden skewers, if using (see tip).
4. Transfer zucchini and pepper to grill rack. Grill, turning occasionally, about 3 minutes. Add tomatoes and scallions to grill rack, and cook until all vegetables are tender and grill-marked, 2 to 4 minutes more. Remove from grill, and let stand until cool enough to handle.
5. Chop zucchini, pepper and scallions coarsely, and add vegetables to pasta. Slide tomatoes off skewers onto pasta. Add remaining marinade, olives and herbs, and toss well.
Nutritional Information Per SERVING:
Calories: 190,
Protein: 5g,
Total fat: 8g,
Saturated fat: 1g,
Carbs: 28g,
Cholesterol: mg,
Sodium: 160mg,
Fiber: 3g,
Sugars: 3g
Monday, October 11, 2010
Summer Pasta Salad with Grilled Vegetables
Posted by TC Harris
Labels: low fat, Recipes, Vegetarian
1 comment:
- Trisha said...
Omg I just drooled on my keyboard!
- October 11, 2010 at 3:58 PM
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
Come on in for a nice cup of coffee and a chat about my weight loss journey as well as all the healthy recipes I have found, including WW points and/or nutritional information if available. I am eating a vegetarian diet and concentrating on getting healthy and hopefully weight loss will follow. Thank to all my readers for their ongoing support.


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I'd like for the state researchers to comment on my theory.


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Hey there, I'm Lexi. Just your average musical theatre student with a penchant (read: obsession) for red lipstick, bows, oxfords, and vintage jewelry. Dressing up is what I do and I try to budget while I'm at it. I am employed at a jewelry/antique store I adore called Vintage Rose. I am a beginner nerd, currently in the throes of an intense affair with Doctor Who, Sherlock, Joss Whedon, and superhero films.
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I hope you enjoy my blog!


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Mtn. Dew ATV Motocross Championship Marches into Georgia with First Round Action from Echeconnee MX
AMA Pro ATV Points Leader John Natalie Brings in Momentum
MORGANTOWN, W. Va. (March 18, 2015) – The 2015 racing season for the Mtn. Dew ATV Motocross National Championship, sanctioned by AMA (ATVMX), officially got underway last week with the historic ATV Supercross (ATVSX) from Daytona. The race served as a landmark moment for the 30th anniversary of ATVMX, but more importantly provided a first look into what the championship battle will hold this spring and summer. The entire AMA Pro ATV field will travel to Middle Georgia this weekend for Round 1 action from Lizella's Echeconnee MX and the Georgia National, presented by Kinsley Powersports, on Saturday, March 21.
Natalie is the points leader coming into Echeconnee MX.
Photo: Ken Hill
Fresh off his huge win at the inaugural ATVSX, Baldwin Motorsports Honda's John Natalie not only enters this weekend's opening motocross round of the championship as the points leader, but also the rider to beat early in the season-long battle for the title. Natalie made the big switch from running his own team to joining forces with one of the most successful and well-respected efforts in the sport, and so far the new relationship is thriving. Natalie essentially went unchallenged in Daytona, grabbing the holeshot and leading all 15 laps of the Main Event.
The two riders who joined Natalie on the Daytona podium were arguably the two leading contenders for the AMA Pro ATV Class crown – Joel Hetrick and reigning champion Chad Wienen. Hetrick has made the foray into team ownership in 2015 and based off the impressive speed he showed at Daytona, the new Corrosion Specialties/Hetrick Racing Honda effort is ready to contend right out of the box. Despite a third-place effort, Wienen might argue that Daytona was a bad start to the season as he searches for his fourth straight title aboard the Wienen Motorsports Yamaha entry. He was forced to qualify for the Main Event through the LCQ and was never able to make himself a factor in the battle for the win. With the return to the traditional motocross format this weekend, it wouldn't surprise anyone to see the champ put the No. 1 bike back up front.
Natalie (front) got his season off to a very stong start at Daytona.
Photo: Ken Hill
Daytona proved to be a mixed bag of results for many of the top riders in the premier class. Thomas Brown had hoped to begin his first season as a team owner with a strong ride, but a crash on the opening lap forced him to come from behind aboard his Maxxis Yamaha, powered by Moto-Xperts machine. Despite the adversity, Brown showed his resilience and fought his way up to a sixth-place effort.
Hetrick is looking comfortable on his new Honda.
Photo: Ken Hill
Up-and-comer Jeffrey Rastrelli has the talent to enjoy a breakout season in 2015, especially considering he is the lead Can-Am rider this season with JB Racing. He put himself at the front of the field early in Daytona, pressuring Natalie, but crashed out of competition and recorded a 16th-place finish.
In his first race with Root River Racing, veteran Josh Upperman displayed some of his tenacity as well, overcoming a start outside the top 10 to finish seventh. Upperman is more motivated than ever to capture that elusive first championship and seeing his former team at Baldwin Racing walk away with the win at Daytona is sure to add fuel to his fire coming into Echeconnee.
Although he didn't begin the season how he wanted, Wienen's title defense is still off to a strong start.
Photo: Ken Hill
The first two motos of the 2015 season are sure to be intense and loaded with excitement as the sand track at Echeconnee provides a truly unique racing surface for the riders to tackle. It's impressive length will push lap times over two minutes and the ever-changing sand will emphasize the importance of line choice. With more space and a wide open layout to let their ATV's hang out, there's really no telling which rider will ultimately emerge as a frontrunner on Saturday afternoon. All the more reason to keep a close eye on who seizes the momentum at this round of the championship and carries it into the heart of the 2015 campaign.
Josh Upperman hopes to put Root River Racing on the podium.
Photo: Ken Hill
Previous Round Results:
Daytona International Speedway – Daytona Beach, Florida
March 10, 2015
AMA Pro ATV Results
- John Natalie, Houtzdale, Pa., Honda
- Joel Hetrick, Seneca, Pa., Honda
- Chad Wienen, Galena, Ill., Yamaha
- Joe Byrd, Union City, Tenn., Honda
- Nick Gennusa, Wall, N.J., Yamaha
- Thomas Brown, Sanger, Texas, Yamaha
- Josh Upperman, Louisville, Ohio, Honda
- Adam Clark, New London, Ohio, Yamaha
- Vital Cazenave, Union City, Tenn., Honda
- Tyler Hamrick, Cortland, Ohio, Honda
AMA Pro ATV Championship Standings
- John Natalie, Houtzdale, Pa., Honda – 25
- Joel Hetrick, Seneca, Pa., Honda – 22
- Chad Wienen, Galena, Ill., Yamaha – 20
- Joe Byrd, Union City, Tenn., Honda – 18
- Nick Gennusa, Wall, N.J., Yamaha – 16
- Thomas Brown, Sanger, Texas, Yamaha – 15
- Josh Upperman, Louisville, Ohio, Honda – 14
- Adam Clark, New London, Ohio, Yamaha – 13
- Vital Cazenave, Union City, Tenn., Honda – 12
- Tyler Hamrick, Cortland, Ohio, Honda – 11
On-track AMA Pro ATV Class action at Echeconnee begins at 11 a.m. EDT with practice and qualifying. Opening Ceremonies, followed by AMA Pro ATV motos, kick off at around 3 p.m. EDT.
For more information on the 2015 Mtn. Dew ATV Motocross National Championship, visit www.atvmotocross.com. Join the conversation on the series Facebook page, follow on Twitter @ATVMXdotcom and Instagram @ATVMotocross, and be sure to always hashtag #ATVMX.
About the AMA ATV Motocross Championship
The AMA ATV Motocross Championship is the nation's premier amateur and professional ATV motocross series, hosted at top motocross facilities nationwide. The 10-round series features the Nation's best racers, teams and sponsors, and is America's largest and longest-running ATV national motocross program. Since 1985, the series continues to expand and produce top talent from the amateur ranks, while premiering the professional class. For more information, please visit www.atvmotocross.com.
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About Me
- kt
- Connecticut River Valley, New England, United States
Monday, June 13, 2011
Grief Revisited
After seven wonderful weeks of traveling this beautiful country and visiting friends and family, my husband and I returned home on a cold, gray day--April 1. We got in around fourish, just as it was getting dusk and while excited at the prospect of seeing the cats after such a long time away we were a bit bummed by the cold and the deep snow that remained all around our Vermont log cabin. As we entered the mudroom, Bill called out, as he always does--Misty, Soot, I'm home.
Misty, our tiger, has always been a scaredy cat and takes her time responding. Normally, we have to search for her in whatever hidey hole she has chosen for the two weeks before she moves to yet another mysterious lair. This time though she sat at the head of the stairs above the living room and he went up--calling to Soot as he did. It was strange not to see Miss Anorexia, as a called her, in all her black, slinky glory edging out the more timid Queen La, so named for her more than adequate avoir du pois that seemed to be Misty's foil against the world.
I, then, added my voice to his, calling for our athletic girl, she who climbed the sides of the log cabin to get in, being much too impatient to wait for me to open the door on the porch to allow her entrance. Quickly, my call was answered with a loud wailing that seemed to come from the cellar. Oh, I thought, Sharon, the girl who took care of the house, must have locked her in my workroom. But as I headed down the stairs I could see that the door was open and the wail became louder, longer and somehow more ominous. I called Bill, suddenly reluctant to be the first one down the stairs. He rushed down and, at first, could not pinpoint the location of Soot. Then it became evident that she was under the wing chair pulled tightly against the book shelves. My heart pounding I wondered if she was somehow pinned under something that had fallen on her as her cries became more insistent.
When he pulled the chair out I saw a black form pressed tightly against the wall, her black coat dusty somehow and her body looking crumpled. She was lying on her side and I could see no movement. All I could do was cry out--oh, no, no. I moved aside as Bill carried her up to my footstool in the living room. We both seemed unable to think---he reached for the phone and called the vet as I comforted her. She was purring and her eyes looked clear. She rubbed her head against my hand and arched her neck for the massage she loved. Her coat was covered in dust--from litter? --and she seemed unable to move her hind legs or her tail. Yet, her behavior seemed absolutely normal but for that. She's pulled a muscle climbing this damned house--I had told Sharon not to leave the upstairs window open to try to dissuade her from climbing, as though she would somehow realize after 14 years that she couldn't get in that way!
By this time, it was after 5 pm on a Friday afternoon, so naturally the vet's office was closed but an answering machine informed us that an emergency hospital was open and to call it. So he did. Located in Hanover, help was almost 45 minutes away. Why didn't I go with them? I don't know--I guess I wanted to be here when Sharon arrived from work--or after traveling all day and in shock, I just wasn't thinking straight. Anyway, I remained home, alternately crying and then praying. Beating myself up for not leaving my sister's earlier--lingering to chat and eat rather than rushing home earlier. Reassuring myself that the cat was so healthy and energetic and active that she would be fine. Tearing myself apart for leaving them for seven weeks--even though they knew Sharon and loved her. Worrying that Soot was 14 and while young in the history of our past cats, nevertheless, aged by feline standards.
Soon Sharon came in and was shocked to see me in tears and worried that I somehow blamed her, which I assured her I did not, but which in my heart I did, unreasonably. What could she have done differently--what had she done that was different than what I would have done had I been here? Who knows, but grief is easier to bear if the cause is someone's fault--preferably not your own. In time, Bill returned and the news was not good--a blood clot. She was getting no blood to the rear legs and the temperature in that area had already dropped. She was probably stricken within the past two-three hours--oh, God, if I'd left my sister's earlier, we would have been home and could have gotten her to our vet--just ten minutes away. Guilt, grief, anger, hope, despair, tears, denial--so many emotions--and an attempt to be gracious to Sharon, but wanting her gone. The vet put her on anticoagulants and said it could go either way.
Saturday, call from our daughter and we kept the situation from her. Soot is her cat--she brought her home tucked inside her tee shirt--a tiny little thing whose ears were too big for the rest of her. She was only four weeks old though we didn't know that until she couldn't keep food down and our vet said she'd been weaned too early. She never lost that malnourished look. Betsy could hold her upside down, twist her in knots, taught her to sit on the porch swing--which soon became her favorite napping, preening, surveying of her kingdom spot. You could never even get Misty to sit on your lap on that swing--SWINGING???, OH, MY GOD! But Soot loved it.
Through two days we waited with reports from the vet--she's resting--no change. Why didn't I go to see her? Why didn't I hold her in my lap? Because I'd never had a pet in the hospital--because it never occurred to me until it was too late--because -----and then Sunday night at 1105 pm the call with the nice male voice--her heart is giving out--there doesn't seem to be any improvement and me, through my tears, saying it is the end? I don't want her to suffer, I guess we need to put her down. And here I sit, typing this and crying all over again. And the doctor saying yes, I called for that permission.
And so the next day, Bill and I went to the hospital--it is a nice place, I guess. They gave us a beautiful white box, which I never opened. I couldn't look at her. We brought her home, gathered her dish, a picture of Betsy,a blanket, and I don't remember what else and Bill took her and buried her next to the path she used to take to the lower fields. How often she'd come running up that path, through the arbor, with loud purrs to show me her latest catch--a field mouse , a mole, a chipmunk--so proud,so full of love, so happy to bring me my latest gift. And how quickly I'd make sure the porch door was closed so she couldn't bring it in the house and how closely I watched to make sure she didn't climb the log walls to sneak it through the bedroom window. She always ate everything except the liver and gall bladder--LOL. Last month, Bill planted marigolds on the grave and at the end of summer he'll plant lilies from my garden. She always loved to hide out in the daylily bed in the heat of a summer's day. You never could see her but as soon as you started walking the land, out she'd come with a loud chirp and she'd follow along or run in front and quickly drop down and roll her tummy up for a rub--almost toppling me in my efforts not to step on her. I hate walking out there now--it is so lonely. I haven't gone down the path to see her grave--I'm sure it is lovely. I hate all this rain--I can't stand her getting soaked and cold like this. I hate all this pain and the tears.
So why today--this resurgence of grief and memory? Because today our daughter comes home for the first time since Christmas. And today she is going to walk into the house without Soot--no Soot to greet her--no Soot to betray us by moving off our bed onto hers for the duration. She knows, of course, that Soot has left us. She knows, too, that Misty has blossomed and while still afraid of her own shadow and unwilling to be on the porch without us unless the door is open so she can get in easily, she doesn't hide anymore. And she gets on our bed now and never stops talking. But knowing and being here are not the same thing. I suppose I'll go to the grave with her and we'll talk about Soot--and we'll walk around the property and remark on where the others who've gone before her are buried--dogs and cats--they are all here --near the well, or behind the lilacs or now, by the garden path. All the pieces of our hearts still near and always remembered. And then we'll discuss where Misty will go, because, though overweight and sedentary and having outlasted Soot, she, too, is fourteen and will sometime leave us--though I hope she lasts the 18-20 years our other cats have lived.
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