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Thursday, January 20, 2011
Why What Makes One Gay Doesn't Matter
Interesting perspective. I guess I've had some self esteem problems myself over the years but I learned some things about that. Life is about choices. You're right when you say it's all up to you. I won't say I understand or agree with the gay thing but it seems obvious that there are choices people make in that regard. I have some gay friends who are really great guys. They know I'm not too keen on talking about their lifestyle so we don't too much. But the one friend opens up once in a while and he said a few times there was a point in his life when he knew he had to make a choice whether or not he was gay. This bugs me because here he made the wrong choice in my opinion. I guess I should be honest and say that I don't think people are born gay. Sorry if that goes against what you think. I would just like to hear your view.
There are two schools of thought with respect to what causes one to be gay: either you're born that way (nature) or something in the way you were raised caused you to become that way (nurture). To my knowledge, no scientific proof exists to say one hundred percent one is born gay, but bits and pieces of the most recent research on the brain, chromosomes, and the like seem to lean in favor of that explanation.
This I know for sure: Personally, I did not choose to be gay. The only choices I made regarding my sexual orientation were 1). to accept that I was gay, and 2). to come out to family and friends so I could get on with living my life as a fully realized human being. And that's all I am able to say on the subject.
Honestly, I'm beyond concerning myself with what causes one to be gay because, in the end, it doesn't matter. What does matter is being gay is a fact of life for millions and millions of people around the world. What does matter is gay people are human beings first and gay second (which I've written here many times before). All of us as human beings are entitled to the same rights, dignity, respect, compassion, and love. We must not make any of those conditional upon sexual orientation, or what caused it.
My advice to you, realitypursuit, is to forget about what you think caused your friends to be gay. It doesn't matter. You stated they are really great guys, and that's good enough. If you're not comfortable hearing them talk about matters related to being gay, so be it. Let them know, which you seem to have already, and they should respect you enough not to talk about it in your presence. Then get on with being great friends.
I think we need to rise above what we don't understand about sexual orientation and stop focusing on the cause, as though being born that way will somehow make being gay more acceptable, or being raised to be that way will make being gay less acceptable. Who cares? Love yourselves and love each other. That's why we were put here. Those are truly our only options.
33 comments:
I agree with Rick. Accept people for who they say they are. I think realitypursuit has a lot of respect for his gay friend, and wishes they could see eye to eye on everything, which is understandable. When his friend said he had to make a choice, I'm sure he meant he had to decide whether to accept himself for who he was, or to try and keep his true nature suppressed. No one should be should be forced to live their life as a lie (or a monk), just because they are gay.ReplyDelete
This is only a test.ReplyDelete
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Very perceptive, Doug, and thanks for sharing.ReplyDelete
I agree with your comment about the friend who presumably made a choice to be gay; however, I did not want this post to be about what causes one to be gay. As I wrote, that doesn't matter and should have nothing to do with whether or not one feels comfortable being friends with someone who is gay.
Thanks again for your contribution to the understanding of the comment from realitypursuit. I appreciate it.
Hey thanks for the post regarding my comment and for the info about the preview button. Good to know. I agree with Doug and Jes's comment that I have a lot of respect for my gay friends. But I disagree with you Rick when you say it doesn't matter what caused them to be gay. It does matter because if gay is not something you are born with then there is hope for all the gay men out there who don't want to be gay. My friend is one of those. He's told me this many times. I think there is a difference between accepting who or what you are because you really want to or because you think you have no other choice. The alternative is going through life as a straight guy who thinks everyone else thinks he looks and acts like a gay guy. I'm not trying to start an argument here or anything. I just don't think this is all as cut and dried as it seems. Thanks.ReplyDelete
Again, a comment realitypursuit left this morning showed up in my email but not attached to this post (some funky things going on, believe me). Thus, I'll attach his comment here and respond to it separately.ReplyDelete
Hey thanks for the post regarding my comment and for the info about the preview button. Good to know. I agree with Doug and Jes's comment that I have a lot of respect for my gay friends. But I disagree with you Rick when you say it doesn't matter what caused them to be gay. It does matter because if gay is not something you are born with then there is hope for all the gay men out there who don't want to be gay. My friend is one of those. He's told me this many times. I think there is a difference between accepting who or what you are because you really want to or because you think you have no other choice. The alternative is going through life as a straight guy who thinks everyone else thinks he looks and acts like a gay guy. I'm not trying to start an argument here or anything. I just don't think this is all as cut and dried as it seems. Thanks.
Rick I don't know what's going on with my comments. When I posted the one above it showed up fine but when I went back a few minutes later it wasn't there. I checked all my settings and there is nothing wrong I can see. Sorry.ReplyDelete
First, realitypursuit, let me say you'll start no argument with me on this subject. Even if you were deliberately trying to create trouble, which I know you're not from the tone of your comments, I wouldn't get caught up in it. Rather, I think what you have to say is thought-provoking, and I welcome the opportunity to keep the dialogue going. Hopefully, I say something that will help.ReplyDelete
From my perspective, I still think it doesn't matter what causes one to be gay. Here's how I look at it: If our society, or culture, accepted gay people for what they are and no issue was made of sexual orientation whatsoever, your friend wouldn't be conflicted about whether he's gay or straight. He could just be himself, whatever that is. But because there's a stigma attached to being gay, your friend is conflicted, and that's too bad. Life's too short to have to deal with something like that.
That said, I've written about this before but it's worth repeating. I believe sexuality works on a continuum, with exclusively straight at one end, exclusively gay at the other, and every variation in between. Perhaps your friend's sexual orientation falls in the middle, and that's where his confusion comes from. But there should be no confusion. If he's more turned on by women, he's probably straight. If he's more turned on by men, then he's probably gay. And if he can go either way, maybe he's bisexual. Plenty of people are, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Whatever your friend is, gay, straight, or bisexual, I just want him to be comfortable in his own skin. Perhaps he has self-esteem issues too, and that's why this is so difficult for him. What he must do is work on loving himself and let everything else sort itself out. Whether he's gay or straight, he should feel supported by those around him, and he should have a safe place to be whatever he is. Make sense?
Let me know what you think.
I think ultimately the acceptance of gay people will benefit straight men the most. No longer will they be confined by the straight-jacket of Marlboro Man masculinity that is forced upon them. It really is liberation for all people.ReplyDelete
I admire your perceptiveness, Doug. Of course, you are absolutely right.ReplyDelete
I mean no insult by this, but I know from the nature of your comments you are not a twenty-something (and I'll bet not a thirty-something). Either that, or you are someone who likes to think deeply and try to understand why things are the way they are, and what would happen if they were different.
At any rate, your insights are always a welcome contribution to my blog. Thanks for sharing.
One thing I've learned recently is that, as straight parents, we often make assumptions about our kids. We say things to our sons like, "When you grow up, I hope you marry a girl who likes to travel." "When you are older, I hope you and your wife live near us so we can see our grandkids." Honestly, I'm sure I was guilty of saying things like that over the years, until my kids got older and I realized those were not assumptions (however well-intended they were) I should have been making. So, multiply that by teachers, TV shows, ads, movies, churches, etc. making assumptions that everyone is straight, and it's not surprising that someone who is gay has mixed feelings about it. Some people are good at being a person who stands up for themselves, who is fine with being perceived as different, in whatever way, but some people just want to blend in, fly under the radar, not make a statement. And the way our society is right now, unless you live in a diverse urban centre, you will probably end up having to be that person who has to take a stand somewhere if you live in a smaller town, or on our prairies. So I can see where RP's friend may be conflicted. But RP...you didn't choose to be straight, did you? You didn't decide to like girls instead of boys one day, you just did. Same with your friend. Supporting him just as he is would be the biggest gift you could give him as a friend.ReplyDelete
***I just lost my comment when I hit "post comment" this time, and before doing anything else, I "refreshed" the page, brought it back...whew! (fyi)
Your depth of understanding, Sarah, astounds me.ReplyDelete
Yes, you are right. Parents make a lot of assumptions about their children, in part because they don't expect their children to be gay, and, if the thought even crosses their minds, they pray they won't be.
But imagine how seeing all the straight images coming at you from every direction reinforces what our culture believes is "right" and wrong. I don't have to tell you because you've already figured it out, but, growing up in that, I literally felt I had no place in it. I saw no positive gay images; any time the subject of homosexuality came up, something negative was said; and the physical and emotional isolation made me think I was the only one.
I'm not here to ask for pity, because I'm more fortunate than many. I believe I've figured it out, and I'm moving forward with try to help other gay people in that regard. Perhaps my age has something to do with it, too. Or maybe I just don't give a f--- anymore. Enough is enough. How's that for honesty?
Thanks for the advice intended for RP. I couldn't agree more.
I can't even imagine how painful that would be, Rick. I was reading somewhere that even in a family that is accepting, that it is such a burden for kids to bear, until they can finally tell their parents, not to mention the messages from the world around them. And yeah, I get the age thing! I'm 46 this year, and much less likely to put up with stuff that I would have 10 years ago. Rawr!ReplyDelete
I guess the "Marlboro Man" coment gave my age away! I'm 42 soon to be 43. I like Sarah's perspective too. Anyone who is a parent has to deal with the gay issue in one way or another. How much easier their lives would be if it were to become a non-issue.ReplyDelete
A comment for Sarah: I do support my friend and I accept him for exactly who he is. That has never been an issue in our friendship. And living in a diverse urban centre only makes being gay easier because there are more of them in a concentrated area. I'm sure you know that the strong feelings about it one way or another are apparent regardless of where you live.ReplyDelete
- elevencatsJanuary 22, 2011 at 1:34 PM
PART 1ReplyDelete
I thank you for being there. With your comments I've felt a home like never before. Yes I have a loving family and joy of being a very old brother to three sisters. But this little thing that I keep inside me, makes me feel terrible amongst the ones I love. Sometimes they hurt me with words that they do not know the deeper meaning to me. One thing I know, I can never hate them even if they will choose to hate me.
I have never thought that my school years were awful. Reason being that I have never hated myself more than during the year of 2009. A year when I first understood what had happened to me about 10 years ago. In the forth grade when I fell in love.
When I had woken up every day as an obligation not a joy... Every morning looking in the face of a stranger and feeling more tired by every hour I slept. And failing three classes in a row. I discovered what I love in my life. Learning. I rediscovered what brings me joy in life. With that I made a man from the dirt that I had become.
Truth is, i reinvented myself. I rediscovered reading, I rediscovered poetry, I rediscovered films like Amelie, Mirmacs, Lord Of The Rings, Ice Age, I learned once again how to listen to Dido, Sigur Ros, Olafur Arnalds, Patrick Wolf and the songs of nature. I rediscovered the life of light - the reason why I take pictures. At the moment I compare myself to a small child. Who learns something new every single day. And unfortunately my skin is very weak and I scar easily.
I have never understood the meaning of school years to me. I loved them. Yes I was bullied, but this did not matter to me. Or perhaps I never let it get that far. I most probably said to myself that this is a natural way. But know I understand... that I have become a closed person. I am bad among people, I isolate myself because I have never felt that I can belong. This loneliness has grown inside me. At the same time, it is my safe-place. It's my worm house in the woods. It is were I belong. It is something that is natural to me. And I have to admit, I love loneliness.
But there are times when I loose myself. There are times when I do not understand the person that is living inside me, or living in my shoes would be a better way to say it. I would like to be a performer. Be in front of thousands... These the times when I loose myself to simple enjoys in life. I see and admire a person who is gay, who is openly gay, who is beautiful, who is smart, funny and can socialize. Unlike me reading and studying during friday evenings he will be parting all night long. Enjoying the company of other people. Enjoying life. I loose myself because I can never be that beautiful, that smart, that funny and social. I cry for the life I should have had. I cry for the fact that I've never kissed another person in my life. I cry that I will always be alone and not like him. Not as good. Not a better man.
- elevencatsJanuary 22, 2011 at 1:35 PM
PART 2ReplyDelete
Lately I have discovered how much I like to live in Estonia. How proud I am that I am an Estonian. I live in nature, I can breath our culture and can feel our community. Our small nation. Minu kodumaa! (in english "My homeland!")
And I feel the responsibility. For my homeland, for my sisters and for everyone I am to love in the future. The things I want to create, the love I want to give. And I feel that I will have a place.
From time to time I feel sad and lonely with my thoughts. But I have learned that my family has always been brave enough to take another step. Even if there is a wilderness in one step forward. I have understood (or to be precise, I am beginning to understand) the facts. I am a gay man. Who is not very talented or bright but who still has taken the step forward. Who has seen the greatest pleasure in loving. Loving loving. Loving in everything: work, people, nature, breathing, waking up, cooking. I have to be honest. I am an atheist. But a course from history of religion has opened my eyes to belief. I have learned that every difference that a person has (being gay, not being the brightest star in learning, not knowing how to control a car) is there for a person to learn. And life gives us the responsibilities to jump over these rocks. And to become a brighter person in the process. To learn!
What have I learned from all that has happened? That my god is me. That the person that can do the most harm to me is myself. And the person that can make a difference in my life is me. And the person who has to create a new beginning is me. And the person who has to dream is me. Yes, there are hard times in life, when it is not easy to know where I have to go and what choices do I need to take in order to be happy. But I can always hope and dream!
And as I have become to learn there are friends like you who can give a leading note.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Thanks, Sarah and Doug, for your most recent comments. I really appreciate your ongoing interest in my blog and the chance to continue dialogues with both of you. Each person's perspective adds so much, and I'm always thrilled to hear from you.ReplyDelete
Realitypursuit, unfortunately, your last comment didn't publish here again. So I've included it below:
"A comment for Sarah: I do support my friend and I accept him for exactly who he is. That has never been an issue in our friendship. And living in a diverse urban centre only makes being gay easier because there are more of them in a concentrated area. I'm sure you know that the strong feelings about it one way or another are apparent regardless of where you live."
elevencats, I'm so pleased to hear from you again. I've read both of your comments, but I want to read them again and think about what to say before I respond. Please be patient. I hope you'll check back often and know you have support from the other side of the world in Canada
Thanks again to all of you. You have made my blog more exciting and more gratifying than ever.
Oh boy, I am about to cry, I just lost another big post! Must remember to write in Word, then copy and post! Argh, Blogger!ReplyDelete
For Elevencats:
Here, we have a saying: "Baby steps." We use it to describe starting a journey or attempting something new that seems scary, and we say that to remind ourselves that we need to start by doing little things, and eventually, we will reach our goal. When my son moved to a new city (Vancouver), he felt isolated like you do at first, so he made a deal with himself. He forced himself to go out and talk to one new person every day (he isn't an outgoing blabbermouth like his mother, I guess…) He said it really helped, just getting out and talking to people. So maybe instead of comparing yourself to someone who is super-confident and "parties all night," you could start small, force yourself to go out to coffee shops, or similar places, and just make small talk with people. A smile here, a comment there, just start small, getting yourself reacquainted with the larger world!
For RealityPursuit:
That's great that you're supporting your friend, but I also get the sense that you don't think being gay is the "better" option, that he'd be better off straight, and I'd imagine he picks up on that message, too. Also, diverse urban centres don't just have "more gays in one place," they have acceptance. That is a really basic human need, to be accepted by the people around you. In a big city, you're more likely to live around people who see being gay as just another way to be (like some people are married, some people just live together, but they're both in relationships), not as an example of someone who drew the short straw. I'm not surprised your friend has conflicting feelings about being gay. His whole life has been spent watching images in the media that show a "normal" family, mum and dad in their T shirts and jeans, loading the kids into the minivan, or eating their nutritious breakfast cereal, or going to Disneyland…he's NEVER ONCE seen an image on TV that shows what he is feeling in a positive way, he's never seen an ad for a vacation that shows two men walking down a beach holding hands, or trading jokes over their morning Cheerios. If he's ever seen gay men on TV, up until recently, they were the silly side kicks, they were caricatures of real people. Imagine growing up and never seeing a positive representation of who you are. That would be enough to make anyone question their feelings, or wish they were different. In my opinion, it is society in general that needs to change, much the way society changed during the civil rights movement. No one thought the answer during the civil rights movement was for black people to acquire lighter skin (ridiculous! How could you, and why would you change an essential part of who you are?) It was for society to change how it viewed race; there was no "separate but equal," there was just "equal." I believe that until we have the same kind of society-wide awakening regarding sexual orientation, friends like yours may have conflicting feelings about their own sexuality. But this is where society needs to say loud and clear that people are worthy and wonderful just as they are, and that they don't need to feel conflicted because of who they love.
Sarah, you are extraordinary. I know how frustrating it is to write a long comment and lose it for some stupid reason, but believe me when I tell you, what you patiently rewrote here was so worth it. What you shared with both elevencats and realitypursuit was insightful, smart, and compassionate. Are you sure you're not a gay man in a woman's clothing (hey, stranger things have happened)?ReplyDelete
In my upcoming posts, I'll have a lot more to say about baby steps, really the only effective way to make change happen and to keep it going. I know of no better way to break an ingrained routine than to turn yourself in a new direction and take one small step after another. To steal my thunder a bit, when the new routine starts to build, then you move from baby steps to larger ones, until the change literally becomes the new you. Works like a charm, but you have to be diligent. Unlearning what didn't work for so long is bloody difficult, and takes constant effort and commitment. But the good news? It can be done.
Your words for realitypursuit are spot on, so much so I could see myself write them. I love when the dialogue between readers is so comfortable, people share and learn from each other.
You must be one cool mom, Sarah, because you are one cool human being. Thank you so much for helping some of my readers and for your contribution to this blog in general. I feel you are an ally in what I'm trying to do here, and I'm so grateful for that.
I love reading the comment's on Rick's blog. Everyone is so thoughtful. Elevencats, just keep coming back here for advice and encouragement!ReplyDelete
I couldn't agree more, Doug. What we've created together is a community of support and encouragement for straight folks who have gay friends and for gay folks who need help to raise their self-esteem. I'm so happy I changed the direction of my blog this year and had a hand in making this happen.ReplyDelete
And thanks to you, Sarah, and everyone else for making this a great place to stop by and spend a little time--all in the interest of helping gay people love themselves. As the subtitle of this blog states, "Together, Taking Gay to the Next Level." Thanks to all of you for helping to make that happen.
Rick, you made me laugh--"a gay man in women's clothing"--hah! My dad's friend and colleague who was gay was also a bit of a shoe nazi...My 14 year old self would turn up at the office, wearing whatever footwear was trendy in 1978, and he would take one look at my feet, shake his head, and say "Oh honey, your taste is definitely *only* in your mouth." I still remember not only the shoe lessons, but the 'how to properly turn up a shirt cuff' ("no seam showing!") lesson as well, so while I'm pretty sure I'm not a gay man (more's the pity) I am pretty convinced there is a big part of my brain that identifies with gay men way more than straight men. This is probably a huge generalization, but the gay men I've known are just easier, and more fun, to talk to than straight guys. There is just a different "energy" (trying not to sound new age-y here) that I find I relate to. It's funny, but neither my husband, nor my two sons have that aggressive energy that I find off-putting in a lot of straight guys, so I find that I'm surprised when I'm around people who are like that. My one son hangs out with girls way more than with guys, I think because there's a very similar energy level. When I see a group of teenage boys together, it's like there's some disconnect between their brains and their actions. My daughter has a friend who's gay, and when he stops by, he'll just sit and talk to me, whereas with other guy friends of hers, I don't ever remember them just sitting at the kitchen table and chatting with me. So, I think it's a "relating/connecting/kindred spirit" kind of thing. (Although, now that I think about it, I'm a bit like a gay stereotype from the seventies: Disco on my iPod, glitter ornaments hanging from the kitchen widow, and the ever-present Wizard of Oz theme, from red Dorothy shoe earrings, to my avatar…..hmmmm :)ReplyDelete
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, now who's making who laugh? That whole "gay stereotype from the seventies" comment is so damn funny. Disco, man. Long live disco. BEST MUSIC EVER. These kids today have no freakin' idea. Chris and I haven't been in a gay club in fifteen years or more--we're an old married couple now--primarily because the music took a serious nosedive from the late '80s/early '90s, with aimless, irrelevant electronica, hiphop, rap, and the like. It's sad, really. Back in the day, gay clubs with hot disco or dance music--you couldn't beat it. So much fun!!! Anyway, I digress...ReplyDelete
Want proof of just how perceptive you are? Try this on: "When I see a group of teenage boys together, it's like there's some disconnect between their brains and their actions." No truer words were ever spoken.
Chris has a twenty-year-old nephew we visited last weekend. One cute kid, everything going for him, a lot going on. Then I saw a massive bruise on his upper arm. I asked about it. He laughed and told me he and his closest male friends had played the punching game. You played what? I had to ask since I'd never heard of it. Apparently, they try to punch each other as hard as they can in the arm. You try to do what? And you're best friends? I asked. He laughed.
I guess that's what young males do these days when they like each other. I wanted to say something smart like, why don't you just hug and kiss each other and get it over with, but I don't think my humor would have been appreciated. That's how young straight males demonstrate their affection as friends toward each other. I thought Mitch had more sense than that. I chalked it up to the bad judgement of his friends.
Ironically, there was a report in "The Vancouver Sun" recently where a group of males played the punching game, and one kid got hit in such a way he actually died. Now that's showing affection toward your friend, isn't it? They wouldn't dare do anything to cross the line between being straight and being gay because it might compromise their masculinity. Incredible.
Anyway, I'm making you an honorary gay man today. I don't care that you look for all the world like a woman living in Calgary. As far as I'm concerned, you are a gay man in Vancouver, with a greater awareness of what being gay is all about than many gay men have. You've earned the honor, believe me. We'd be glad to have you on board.
And one final word about your writing. You are one good writer, Sarah. I see you haven't written anything on your blog for some time. You should get back to it. If you're not a writer, you should be.
Thanks so much for your comment.
WOOT! I am totally on board with being an honorary gay man! Ya-HOO! And glad you are a fellow disco appreciator...it needs all the love it can get, these days.ReplyDelete
The punching game, I've heard of it. Intensely stupid. And you're right, boys will do an awful lot to express the closeness they feel for their friends in what they think are socially acceptable ways. They also act so differently in groups than they do one on one. My daughter's boyfriend was like Jekyll and Hyde, so sweet and thoughtful on his own, and such an unthinking dope around his friends...the power of peer pressure is not to be dismissed.
My blog, I know! It was my new year's resolution to start it up again...thank you for reminding me, as it is a wee bit past the first...I love writing, I truly do. I had a letter published by the Herald last week (the Herald and I have a love hate relationship: I hate them, they publish my letters, people often phone me up--listed phone number--or write scathing rebuttals...fun for everyone!) And I thought I might expand upon my short missive (I was responding to the person who said Saskatchewan marriage commissioners should be able to opt out of doing their jobs for same-sex couples, you can imagine what I wrote, heh) and I wrote a piece for them to consider as an op-ed piece. No response. Very frustrating to not even hear an explanation as to why they won't publish, if not my work, then someone else's. Anyway, you know how you were wondering if your blog was what you were "supposed" to do? Well, maybe this is what I'm "supposed" to do... (Love of writing + gay rights x disco = my particular "thing"!) You know, when you get a nudge from the universe, maybe it's best to not ask too many questions, but to just go for it. Anyway, I am going to write something for some local source, and we'll see what happens. And my blog, well, that will be my silly, snarky outlet. Hugs, Rick. You are doing truly great work.
'Love of writing + gay rights x disco = my particular "thing"!'ReplyDelete
I love this line, Sarah. I laughed out loud. Still laughing out loud. Sounds like a winning formula.
Mine would be 'Love of writing + sharing what I know about being gay and seeing self-worth x high energy dance music = hopefully making a difference.' Wow! Working that through was great fun.
If you don't have a regular outlet to write, I must encourage you to find one. Sure, letters to the "Herald," op-ed pieces, and comments here are great, but your skill is not to be wasted. Sounds like you might have been uninspired with your blog when you stopped writing it. Reinvent it then. Find something you're really passionate about and get your voice out into the world. And good luck writing "for some local source." I hope it goes well for you.
Thanks for the vote of confidence around what I'm trying to do here, and thanks for your comment.
Part One:ReplyDelete
elevencats, I've finally had the chance to go through your comments above in detail, and I have a few things I want to share:
First, I want you to know I am here for you. You have been so open and honest with me, and I want to support you in any way I can, especially since you may not have anyone else to talk to about being gay and how difficult that is for you sometimes. If you would prefer, rather than leave your comments here, you can send emails to me directly. You'll find my email address attached to my profile. Either way, I want to hear from you. I want us to keep talking together. Share with me anytime you want to.
Wow! As I reread part one, I applaud you for your love of learning. I agree. There's nothing more exciting than learn new things, especially in areas you're passionate about. For example, I'm passionate about writing, I have a vast collection of books about writing, and I can never learn enough about it. So I understand that part of you.
What I don't understand is why you seem to be so shut off from the life you say you most want. First, you're young, so please don't write as if there's no hope for you. You're in your early twenties, and you have your entire life ahead of you, filled with everything you love, including learning. So don't cut yourself short in any respect.
I guess I'd like to know what causes you to isolate yourself. You wrote you see other gay men who are beautiful, smart, and funny. So, obviously, some people are openly gay in Estonia, and that doesn't seem to stop them from being the kind of person you want to be.
I did some research about homosexuality in Estonia, and it was legalized in 1992. So I assume your culture is somewhat understanding about gay people. So do you close yourself off from others because you believe you can never reveal your sexual orientation to your family, or because, even though homosexuality is legal in Estonia, it's still something you can't be open about? Can you help me understand this?
Why do you say you cry for the life you should have? I understand you may not have kissed anyone yet, but I didn't kiss anyone until I was 26. There's no time limit on kissing someone. It will happen when it's meant to, and it will be wonderful when it does.
What makes you think you will always be alone? Why don't you think you'll never be as good as the gay men you admire?
See Part Two
Part Two:ReplyDelete
If I may be honest, with no intention of hurting you at all, your low self-esteem is so apparent. In Part Two, you write you're not very talented or bright. The whole point of improving self-esteem, which is what I'm passionate about doing with this blog, is helping people, like you, to stop limiting themselves by how they feel about who they are.
Do you see that as you put yourself down in so many little ways, you are creating your reality? You are making yourself feel less than other people? You are limited who you are meant to be? Remember, whatever energy you put out into the world, positive or negative, is the energy you get back. So when you put yourself down, you create the energy to continue putting yourself down.
You must stop this, elevencats, which is what I'm trying to help you do here. I did the same thing to myself when I was your age that you do to yourself. And, as you say, the only one who can change this is you.
I'm so grateful you realize the critical role you play in changing your life for the better. It really is all up to you, but you will have other people to support you along the way. I hope your family will be there. I will be here, and I will continue to write things in my blog that I hope will inspire you to realize your fullest potential, first as a human being, and second as a gay man.
Please, PLEASE, do not let being gay hold you back. Even though you may not have the life you want right now, you can work on raising your self-esteem. You can work on loving yourself. And, believe me, when you love yourself, there will be no stopping you. You may not see that now, but you will. I promise. Once you have it, no one can take away the love you have for yourself. No one. You'll see.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your heartfelt comments and for leaving yourself open to what I, and my other readers, have to share with you. Start making changes today. You already know you want to change. Now, read what I've written in my blog so far this month, what my readers have offered, and stay tuned for more information on what you can do to love yourself and to change your life. You really can do this. You must do this. The fullness of your life depends on it.
Thanks again.
- elevencatsJanuary 25, 2011 at 2:37 PM
Part oneReplyDelete
There are moments I see nothing holding me back. Like everything I want just can happen if i truly want it to happen. I feel this joy of life and energy what comes from this joy. These are times when I understand that being absolutely free of self-harm is freeing and inspiring. I have seen that I work best when I am at my happiest. When I love to learn and love what I am doing with every second of my life. And then reality strikes me. I see the person I am and understand that things that I want are not realistic, they are my dreams but they are not what I should want.
Yes. I feel like there is no other way for me to live... because I have chosen early on the life that I am living. I remember that I had a warm heart years before. I experienced at school that every word I said and everything I did even breathing among them made me hurt more. So I shot myself up. I have always had this creative spirit in me: I remember that I always liked to sing, dance and make up stories. I remember how beautiful life was when I was this lets say a bit stupid at my schoolwork and giving everything I had (that is love) to people surrounding me: I had great friends, loving relationship with my family.
But I shut myself up. I made a choice. I wanted to try if I could be a better student. No to be honest, I wanted to try if I could be the best. Truth be told I have always been a slow reader, slow learner. And I tried and used entirely every second for learning. I didn't understand things well. So I re-read, I repeated what I had learned, made myself learn more and more. To gain something I thought was possible. To be the best. But on the way of becoming the best I fell in love. I fell in love with learning. And it became something that I needed more than people, even food. I started to isolate myself because that way I had more time to learn. I became a cold person.
I see now happy future for myself because I have now understanding what this word means. I do not know if I am happy when I smile or if I am happy when I cry. If you have read Virginia Woolf's "Waves" then you know how my thoughts go. I'm like a fog not a person. Sometimes becoming a clear human being, sometimes evaporating entirely and most of the time just fading and loving to flow and see how the waves go, how the wind moves the branches, how the rain drops and listen how my heart beats.
I have a lonely nature. I have learned to learn alone and learned to play alone. I have been alone for the most of my life living far from the city. I have understood that I have to play alone even the play that we call life. Even though I love to help. I remember that I always thought people at school who did not understand the topic. During recess I became a teacher. It made me feel good. It made me feel like I belonged. But I have always felt like I should not ask for help.
Maybe that comes from the ideal prototype of a man in Estonia: having no emotions, being ruthless and responsible. I said before that sometimes I feel like the whole world is opened to me. There are so wide possibilities. I can do everything and I just need to go and do. And then I hear this voice inside me saying that I am a man who needs to responsible. Who needs to think and act as I should. Because this is the only way a man can be happy and productive. Whatever the word happy means. I hear it is a good word.
- elevencatsJanuary 25, 2011 at 2:43 PM
Part twoReplyDelete
Yes, I have thought about if someone I know would read this blog one could simply say it's me. Yes, I have felt like I am putting myself and my future at risk by being honest and writing from my heart. But I have reached to a point when I do not care. What will happen, will happen. I used to delete all my history from my browser and log myself out from youtube before I gave my computer to a person to use. Know I am more carefree in that matter. I know things can happen but maybe it is better if they happen. Maybe happenings of life can be stronger than I am. Secondly, I feel a desire to write my story. Maybe someone is in a similar situation and can see hope or can at least find someone to connect to emotionally. Maybe my story can help.
Comments about Estonia. Actually gay-situation in Estonia is quite good. We can not be discriminated at our workplace. And mostly people just do not say what they think: they are polite and only say hurtful things behind your back. At the moment we have many people being openly gay, even at the highest ranks of education, we have had a commercial at street with a young gay couple, we have a great leading gay figure a media businessman who has stated publicly that he is living together with his long-time partner. And lately there has been an debate on the possibility of gay partnership law. Things are looking good, or should I say things will get better and better. Still old habits die hard. It is very popular to make gay jokes, when something is wrong it is most probably caused by gays or russians. There are usual misconceptions that gays are overly feminine and only designers-hairdressers and actors.
Yeah. I would like to hop into a time capsule and see how it will be in the near future.
Still life is quite beautiful and promising but when being young this possibility of a better future seems too far away. Like moments are too long to bear. Like all the future has already been written to me and I just have to play in the theatre. Play the best I can.
Thank you for your support! It feels tremendously good to have someone to listen.
- elevencatsJanuary 25, 2011 at 2:55 PM
Sorry about my English. Should have written in the morning.ReplyDelete
You know, elevencats, women have that problem here, too, we sometimes feel like there are certain acceptable ways for women to behave, and if they act in ways that do not conform, they get labeled usually not very nice things. And young women, especially, can be easily influenced by society, perhaps in ways that stifle their true nature, in ways that keep them from being who they really are, just as you've described. But you know what? A lot of us, when we get older, we stop caring what other people think, we don't worry that doing this or that will make us bad mothers, or wives, or friends. We learn to be a little truer to ourselves. You don't have to fit into anyone's mold or idea of what an Estonian man is like, you can just do whatever you want. Comparing ourselves to an ideal is never very healthy.ReplyDelete
elevencats, what strikes me as I read your above comments again is the contradiction between who you think you should be, and who you want to be. This is the age-old conflict every young person, regardless of their culture, is in. I remember going through it, too. In my heart of hearts, I knew I was gay long before I came out, and I knew I wanted to do something creative or artistic for a living. I couldn't imagine I'd get stuck doing something I didn't like doing, just because I had to earn a living. My greatest fear, though, was I'd go into a field that pointed a finger at me for everyone to see, and that screamed I was gay. So, in my case, that left out being a hair stylist, an interior designer, a travel agent, and so on. I was so scared of being myself, who I knew I really was, so I could use my creative abilities, that I went in the opposite direction.ReplyDelete
So you know what happened? I went into banking. If you knew me, you'd know I'm completely ill-suited to banking. I couldn't understand math and hated it. My talent has always been to write, and, when I was in college, I wanted to be a writer, or, more practically, an English teacher.
But that didn't happen. I couldn't finish my degree where I lived at the time, didn't have the money to move to Vancouver to go to university, and ended up getting a job with a bank, where, believe it or not, I worked in many positions and places for twenty-eight years.
But everything happens for a reason. Believe it or not, banking taught me so much about myself, and I grew stronger as a person along the way, allowing me to make better and better choices.
I learned to be great with money, which allowed my partner and me to be debt-free in 2007, when he was 39 and I was 48. And I've been working on my writing ever since.
I don't think we're meant to know all the answers when we're your age. I don't think we're meant to get all uptight about who we're supposed to be, or what we're supposed to do. There's only one thing we need to do, and that is live. Let things happen. Make the best choices you can at the time and keep moving forward. If you realize your choices may not have been the best, make different ones.
Life is a constant evolution toward the human being you were meant to be. I needed to go through everything in my past to be the person I am today. And, honestly, I wouldn't change a single thing.
Go easy on yourself. Just be. That's all you need to do. Take the pressure off. Keep your goals and dreams in mind, and never let them go. I've wanted to be a writer since I was a little boy, and now I am, at the age of 50. This is when it was meant to happen for me, and that's all right.
You'll find your way, believe me. It will all come together for you, I promise. Just show up every day in your life as the best person you can be at the time. Commit yourself to what you do, and your future will work itself out. I'm living proof of that.
Thank you so much for trusting me enough to share everything you have about yourself. I look forward to hearing from you again. I'm here for you.


text:
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Strike Up The Band
When the 5th grade band began to play, Brooklyn covered her ears and kept crying, "It's loud! Mama, it's loud! It's loud, Mama!" This wasn't a problem while they were playing because they were indeed loud and no one could hear Brooklyn's complaining. Unfortunately, she kept talking at the same volume in the silence between songs. Yeah. Fun.
At some point, both Brooklyn and Clayton realized their big sister was down there playing in the band and they started shouting, "Nana! NANA! SA-VANN-AH!!!!" Poor Savannah wanted to crawl under her chair as half the band turned to see where the commotion was coming from. I think this is about the time Brooklyn found a Lego in her pocket and decided it would make a good snack.
Clay was intrigued by the band playing and he watched the director intently. He warned Brooklyn, "It's going to get loud now," or "Don't worry Oata, it's going to be quiet now."
I asked him, "How do you know when the music is going to get loud or quiet?"
"When that guy raises his stick up high, the music gets loud and when he puts the stick down low, it gets quiet," he informed me. Duh, everyone knows this, Mom!
"Where did you learn that, Clay?" I inquired. I wondered if he'd picked that up simply from his observations. Wow, this kid is a genius, I thought to myself!
He answered me. "Curious George."
"Curious George taught you when the music would get quieter and louder?"
And there you have it. The monkey knows.
Jackson had brought his PSP and popped in the movie Daddy Day Care. He handed Brooklyn his ear phones. She took them, rubbed the ear buds together like defibrillator paddles and proceeded to "shock" her knee. So Jackson put the ear phones on Brooklyn and started the movie for her. Not realizing just how loudly she was talking, she laughed out loud and, indicating the movie, squealed, "He pooped!!! Mom, he pooped!" Good times, good times, oh yeah, another half an hour to go...
As we were leaving the concert, I asked Jackson, "You don't want to be in band next year, do you?"
Posted by Dawn at 7:28 PM
34 comments:
OMG, just when I don't think I can find anything to make me smile after a bad day, I read your blog & wind up laughing myself back into a good mood!! Dawn, thank you so much for what you give, you are AWESOME!!!!!
- February 12, 2009 at 8:38 PM
- Oh Boy...Oh Boy...Oh Boy said...
LOL!! I swear I don't think my kids will ever be able to wear headphones in public because they still shout.
- February 12, 2009 at 8:48 PM
- Sherry said...
This is funny. I just checked out that Curious George DVD from our library today. At first, I thought you were going to say Little Einsteins... when they play the songs and shout Crescendo! (louder) Decrescendo (quiter).
- February 12, 2009 at 8:56 PM
- Dinner/Dishes/Drinking said...
Hey I didn't know that either...guess I need to watch more Curious George!??
- February 12, 2009 at 9:03 PM
Thanks for bringing back the memories! Some of the happiest years of my life were in band. I can't wait till my children are old enough to play.
- February 12, 2009 at 9:35 PM
- Raevyn said...
It's amazing what you can learn from Curious George!
- February 12, 2009 at 9:45 PM
- Persnickety Ticker said...
That monkey is a genius. He once imparted some wisdom that I personally live by to this day.
"Any day that starts out stinky and ends with a cookie is a good day."
- February 12, 2009 at 9:46 PM
When my son was in high school, our neighbor and good friend's daughter and our son were in the marching and concert bands together. At EVERY concert for 4 years, our friend would yell out "Vanessa, Big Daddy Loves You", very loudly at some previously quiet point in the concert. At their last concert before graduation, Vanessa replied "I Love You too Dad". All the parents cracked up laughing! It was priceless - the whole auditorium of about 500 people was in stitches! It's a good thing Vanessa has such a pleasant personality. She is now an elementary music teacher.
There is a small deranged and insane part of me that misses those days - until I remember endless fall band competitions and the smell of 125 wool uniforms that had been worn all day in 90 degree heat or worse, rained on!
- February 12, 2009 at 9:58 PM
- Paula71 said...
I needed this smile today. Thank you
- February 12, 2009 at 10:52 PM
- Elleah said...
It's amazing where kids pick up things from!
- February 12, 2009 at 11:01 PM
- dorthyinoz said...
Oh the days of "Sawmill Creek". May I never hear that song again after 4 kids starting band. They sound so much better now.
- February 13, 2009 at 2:18 AM
- Andi said...
BOth Jessi, 17, and Allen, 13 were/are inband. They both play percussion. I asked Arielle, 6, the other day, "please say you do not want to play in the band?". I hapily announced that she was not going to be in band. I gave her a big hug and told her she is an angel forever. High school band is the worst interms of days after school, practices, marching band competitions, and concerts. Luckily Allen is a freshman in August and hopefully will get tired of it soon. I hate the director so hopefully he will too and drop out soon. Thanks for the laughs and the "been there done that" thoughts. *hugs*
- February 13, 2009 at 5:24 AM
- Donna said...
i'm sorry i didn't have Brooklyn during all of our 5th grade band concerts......after you've heard hot cross buns played at every tempo possible, you need a little distraction!
- February 13, 2009 at 6:02 AM
Clearly you don't watch enough Curious George! I've seen that episode (or rather heard that episode as it plays in the car DVD player) a thousand times...
- February 13, 2009 at 7:32 AM
I have enjoyed the last few posts alot.
Its those kind of stories that I can relate to, pointing out the funny, that motivated me to read your blog so long ago.
- February 13, 2009 at 7:48 AM
- Patois said...
Anything worth knowing, my kids learned from movies or TV.
- February 13, 2009 at 10:31 AM
- Keeley said...
Hahahaha! =D =D
Oh well, what can you do? =)
- February 13, 2009 at 12:01 PM
- Barb Chansky said...
You have a great knack of making fun of situations that usually make you try and tear your hair out:) Keep up the good work!
- February 13, 2009 at 12:03 PM
- jana said...
Who is Oata in this story?
- February 13, 2009 at 2:15 PM
- Dawn said...
Sorry about that. I didn't even realize I'd written Oata. "Oata" is what the kids call Brooklyn. I don't even know how it started, but they've called her "Oata", "Oat","Oatlin" for over a year. If you call Brooklyn by her real name, she'll look at you and say, "My name is Oata."
- February 13, 2009 at 2:41 PM
- Sara said...
Do you guys have any pets? I mean cats, dogs, rodents, reptiles? (I'm sure you think the kids and husband can be animals, though!) If not, why?
- February 13, 2009 at 3:05 PM
My kid learns lots of things from Curious George too! Makes me feel less guilty for plopping him down with it when I need "mommy time." :)
- February 13, 2009 at 3:24 PM
- Brian said...
My oldest just started playing the Alto Sax. He was one of 4 people in the whole music class that could produce a sound out of the thing. Now I have one at my house. Yeah, Fun Times...
- February 13, 2009 at 10:38 PM
- Dawn said...
Austin plays alto sax. Well, I haven't actually heard him play it for awhile, but thanks to 400 easy monthly payments, we own an alto sax.
- February 13, 2009 at 11:02 PM
- Bonnie said...
Oh my goodness ! This blog is adorable ! i love the fridge !!!
- February 14, 2009 at 1:17 AM
- Jari said...
I was blessed enough to attend my little brothers 8th grade band concert just before Christmas. The contrast between 6th and 8th is phenomenal. I can't wait to go to his high school performances!!
And by the way - you have been awarded!
- February 14, 2009 at 11:26 AM
Two of my 3 kids started out with band in 5th grade. When my older son brought home his first trombone and practiced, my younger son looked at me and asked "are you really going to let him do that in the house?" We've lived through many excruciating years of practice and endless concerts. The older son is graduating from university as a music performance major (6 trombones later...the current one was $6000), and he's written a symphony that's been performed! The younger son is getting ready to graduate HS and wants to teach music.
See, IF you can survive it, you might end up with a musician or two! But, it sure nothing but noise for a couple years! *lol*
- February 14, 2009 at 4:01 PM
- Rick said...
Where were the PSP's when I was going to my brother's concert growing up? All we had were our thumbs to keep us entertained.
- February 14, 2009 at 5:39 PM
- Michelle said...
Love it.
So where does Oata come from?
And I take this post as a personal warning to keep the wee ones away from all musical instruments -- including their voices. Did I catch that right?
- February 14, 2009 at 10:26 PM
- Fiona said...
Ha! The school concerts...good times!
- February 15, 2009 at 12:59 AM
My, how things have changed. I lived at Chanute AFB, Rantoul, Illinois in the 60's and attended public schools there for 3 years. (I mention where only because no such similar programs had been offered at any other places we lived and we moved every few years so we had a long list to choose from). We had an orchestra of about 30 kids. If I remember correctly you had to be in 3rd grade to be eligible, and all 3-5 grade levels were put together. The concerts were excruciating, even for the orchestra members, until we hit Junior High. By then you only grit your teeth, but your ears no longer bled. I guess, maybe things haven't really changed that much after all. ;)
- February 15, 2009 at 2:48 PM
Me again! God bless my parents. I just read the comments about the alto sax, and couldn't help but remember how tolerant they were as I learned violoin pre-Suzuki method. What gems they were to put up with all that. I now limit my playing at nursing homes and the like. I find it easier to get my foot in the door when the audience is half deaf. %)
- February 15, 2009 at 2:59 PM
All my 3 kids are 'Suzuki children', the eldest plays the violin, middle one the cello and the 8 year old plays the viola. Yep, it's been painful at times and a load of work but my, does it pay off! The 16 yr old plays Bach and Mozart and Kabalevsky (and all the others) beautifully, the middle one's (12) cello is starting to sound really good as well, the 8 yr old still can manage some squeaks, but getting easier all the time. Hang in there (if they want to, that is), it can mean so incredibly much fun - later :D
- February 16, 2009 at 2:55 AM
- ComfyDenim said...
Curious George Rocks. :-)
I hadn't even considered what would happen if the kids wore ear phones like that -- They'd be yelling too. *L* Thanks for suffering that one to save the rest of us. :-)
- February 16, 2009 at 8:28 AM

subset: commoncrawl


text:
The indexes for food, energy, and all items less food and energy all rose in January, each increasing 0.2 percent.
The indexes for used cars and trucks and for airline fares both declined, while the new vehicles index was unchanged.
The energy index rose slightly in January, increasing 0.2 percent after declining in each of the three previous months. The gasoline index rose 0.9 percent after declining the three previous months.
For MarketNewsVideo.com, I'm Kristin Bianco.


text:
Happy Del Buono has seen it happen many times.
A group of musicians are jamming together and it's going OK. They play a few songs that some people might know, and they play a few that nobody seems to remember.
But when the guitar pickers, drummers and mandolin players cut loose on an old-time bluegrass gospel number, everyone wakes up.
"There is just something about gospel music that brings people up and alive. There is just something about it," he said. "When there is a gospel song, everybody plays. Pretty much everybody knows the words. You see people kind of light up."
The passion many musicians and people who enjoy good bluegrass have for gospel songs led Del Buono to organize a monthly Gospel Jam at First Baptist Church East Flat Rock.
The first jam took place in February and the next will be tonight from 7 to 9 at the church.
Del Buono, who is a member of the church, described the jam sessions as an informal gathering of musicians and audience members.
"Some people just come and listen. Some yelled up a song they wanted us to do," he said. "It is something that is very casual and open."
About 12 musicians from the community and areas as far away as Black Mountain and Swannanoa came to play at the first jam. They brough their guitars, mandolins and drums to perform for about a dozen audience members. One person also played piano.
"It's just whoever shows up and plays," Del Buono said. "If they have a song they can teach us, we play along and back them up."
Church leaders decided to allow Del Buono to hold the jam sessions at the church after he suggested the idea in November.
"It sounded like a great thing," said Colby Coren, the church's worship and student minister. "We thought we would give it a shot. It's just a chance to open up the doors and give people a chance to praise and worship together."
Coren said the monthly jam is not put on as a way to draw new members to First Baptist Church East Flat Rock. But if someone attends the event and decides to give the church a try, they are welcome.
"Our first goal is to have people come in and enjoy themselves," he said.
Coren said he is not a huge fan of bluegrass music. But when he attended the jam in February, he enjoyed hearing the musicians play songs requested from the audience.
"I had a blast," he said.
Del Buono said he thinks people enjoy the gospel jams because many churches favor traditional hymns and contemporary music over gospel music with a bluegrass sound. The laid-back and informal atmosphere at the jams also helps people feel welcome and at home when they come to play or just listen.
"It is something that is very casual and open," he said. "Everyone who was there was very open."
Del Buono rounded up the musicians who attended the jam by putting up fliers at music stores, guitar shows and other jams.
A sign announcing the jam also stands outside the church on U.S. 176 in East Flat Rock. An announcement about the jam on the church's website tells people to bring their instruments or voices to the event.
Del Buono said he thinks the jam will draw others who enjoy good music once word about the event spreads.
"We are thankful we can do this," he said. "It's just good gospel songs."
For more information, call 828-692-0765.
Informal gospel music gatherings start up at East Flat Rock church
Happy Del Buono has seen it happen many times.


text:
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text:
Sixth graders win by one while seventh graders lose by four
That time of the year arrives when the basketball season heats up and games are close. The Lincoln sixth grade boys basketball team got a taste of it Tuesday with a 14-13 overtime victory over Edison at home.
Lincoln got the Lions off to a fast start with a layup seven seconds into the 16 minute first half. The Lions followed up with a free throw before the scoring briefly disappeared. Lincoln jumpstarted the scoring again with a layup before Edison got their first points of the game at the 9:55 mark.
Edison scored another basket 1:45 later but was held to three points the rest of the half. In the meantime, Lincoln matched Edison's point total to lead 8-7 at the halftime break.
Edison took their first lead of the game 29 seconds into the second half with a three-pointer. Edison followed up with a jumper to lead by six. Lincoln fought back with a banked shot, a layup and a jumper with 7:55 left to knot the score at 13.
Neither team was able to get a point until Lincoln hit a free throw with 46 seconds left in the overtime period to win the game.
Lincoln seventh grade boys lose
The close games continued in the seventh grade boys basketball game with Edison outlasting Lincoln 29-25.
Edison held the early edge by scoring four unanswered points in the first half. Lincoln fought back with six unanswered points to help the Lions take the lead.
After the teams traded baskets, Lincoln sank two free throws while Edison hit only one. The difference gave the Lions an 11-7 lead at the half.
Edison roared back in the second half scoring 10 unanswered points before Lincoln ended the run with a jumper with 9:57 to go. Fifteen seconds later, the Lions followed with a steal and layup to get Lincoln within four.
Following an Edison basket, Lincoln reeled off eight straight points with half coming from one player to overtake the lead. Edison bounced back to tie the score at 23 and again at 25 before they scored the final four points to win.


text:
Wyckoff is an upper-class area of New Jersey. Home to Christians, Catholics, some Jews, Asians, and maybe one black person. It has 13 churches, and one temple. Extremely wealthy, especially the new part of town. It's a great place to raise your kids, because you don't have to worry about them getting into any trouble. There are just as many snobs, spoiled brats, high-matience, and "ghetto" kids as there are in some other towns, though. Kid's closets have A+F, Hollister, and Juicy written all over them. Kids play sports...mainly soccer. Good Schools, and people go to Ramapo to get sports schlorships, and not much else. The town to hang out in after school is Ridgewood. A lot of stay-at-home-moms, toddlers, and hard working dads. Wyckoff sounds kinda snobby, but it's a great town.
girl:i've heard of wyckoff before. it sounds like a great town.
why cough when you can sneeze? haha!
boy: HELLZ YEAH! wyckoff kicks ass bitches!
why cough when you can sneeze? haha!
by wyckoff girl xoxo November 16, 2005
Located in Bergen County, New Jersey, the lovely town of Wyckoff is more than anyone could ever hope for. Children get the finest education starting in kindergarten at Lincoln, Coolidge, Washington, or my personal favorite, Sicomac, where the "smart" kids go. Eisenhower Middle School is the place to slack off as you hide in the bathrooms during recess and steal water at lunch, not because you have to considering your parents are loaded, but just so you can feel badass. Ramapo High School is the place to be, but some tools choose to spend their four years at Indian Hills instead. You'll wear True Religion, Sevens, Juicy, Polo, Lacoste, Hollister, Abercrombie And Fitch, Free People, Lucky, and any other brand of clothes that will cost at least two-hundred for an outfit. You'll find tricked out cars in Ramapo's student parking lot and superlative night is the chance to tear on the people you've hated for years.
We're bitches and assholes, yes. But we're hot and rich, so unlike you, we get away with it.
We're bitches and assholes, yes. But we're hot and rich, so unlike you, we get away with it.
by bitttyyyyy November 15, 2006
What a man does every night.
by FookMe69 March 21, 2013
Wyckoff is a pretty cool town in Bergen County, New Jersey with some okay people in it. Most of them go to ramapo with all the snobby Franklin Lakes kids but some do end up at Indian Hills most often because they got into a university program there. They're those kids that brag about going to parties and getting smashed and stoned while the Oakland kids just do that stuff and keep it to themselves. They keep to themselves mostly but do sometimes hang out with Flakers. They don't really talk to the Oakland people.
Wyckoff kid: "So the other day i was at this party and I was so drunk and it was so awesome..."
Oakland kid: "That happens all the time in my town."
Oakland kid: "That happens all the time in my town."
by The guy that you probably know November 23, 2008
Wyckoff is a great town in Northern New Jersey, Bergen County to be exact...It is an upper middle class area with a great school system...Parents can raise their children in this town and not have to spend one day worrying if something is going to happen to them...The place to hang out is boulder run, even though it kind sucks now that the cops are all over it so no one skateboards and stuff, but hey it has starbucks...The town is most know for having great labor day fireworks...
Just a side not though, don't shop in the stop n' shop they aren't very nice there...
Just a side not though, don't shop in the stop n' shop they aren't very nice there...
Girl: I live in Wyckoff.
Boy: My mommy says she wants to move there.
Girl: You should there is a great playground and library in town that we can go to.
Boy: My mommy says she wants to move there.
Girl: You should there is a great playground and library in town that we can go to.
by wyckoffgirl October 04, 2005
Best part of Bergan County. Kids there know how to have fun and party. Has a bad reputation but actually is better than it seems. Ramapo kids are diverse except for their skin color. They range from extreme partiers to hard core study kids. Very fun part of town. Bolder run is legit. They are re- building it so it's only going to be better. Don't get it wrong, Wyckoff is a good place to drink, smoke weed, and let loose.
by alyclayith. May 01, 2009
A kickass town, better than those snobby Franklin Lakes faggots. Need I say more?
Kid 1: I'm from franklin lakes
Kid 2: Wyckoff kicks your ass, faggot.
Kid 2: Wyckoff kicks your ass, faggot.
by wyckoffrulz May 07, 2009


text:
Hockey fans hepped up outside Verizon Wireless ArenaBy KEVIN GRAY
New Hampshire Union Leader
March 29. 2013 10:23PM
Wearing a game-worn UMass Lowell hockey jersey, Scott Kaplan arrived at Murphy's Tap Room across from the Verizon Wireless Arena more than 3 hours before game time.
The high-flying River Hawks, a 6-1 winner against Wisconsin in Friday's early game, are the No. 1 seed in the NCAA Northeast Regional - and Kaplan is their No. 1 fan. A meteorologist who works in Nashua, Kaplan has attended 37 of 39 games this season, even making a trip to Colorado in November. His blue and red jersey was worn earlier this season by UMass Lowell junior forward Derek Arnold, who scored the only goal in the team's Hockey East championship against Boston University last weekend.
Hockey fans from UMass Lowell and the University of New Hampshire have taken over the city, hoping to follow their teams all the way to a national title in Pittsburgh. Pockets of Denver and Wisconsin fans could be found throughout Manchester on Friday afternoon, but they were lost in a sea of red, white and blue (UNH and Lowell colors) as 8,000 fans made their way into the Verizon.
"I was a freshman at Lowell in 1990 and have been a fan ever since," said Kaplan, a Brockton, Mass., resident who works at Hometown Forecast Services in Nashua. "If last weekend at the Garden (in Boston) was any indication, Lowell should have tremendous support."
Look no farther than the sidewalk outside of Murphy's Tap Room, where the UMass Lowell Alumni Association - called the "Talon Club" - set up a table and banners long before the puck dropped. Down the street, other fans gathered at J.W. Hill's Sports Bar, the Portland Pie Company and The Shaskeen.
Fred Dean of Madison, Wis., a diehard Badgers fan, planned a week-long visit to New England to fully enjoy the road trip. Dean was hoping the Badgers would be clicking on cylinders, and, just as importantly, the Wisconsin band was in the house. (It wasn't.)
"We love the team and the play, but the excitement of the fans and the band are almost as much fun as the game," said Dean, a season ticket holder at Wisconsin's Kohl Center, enjoying a pregame meal at Portland Pie. "We enjoy college hockey so much more than the pros because of the overall environment."
Down the street, UNH fans packed Margaritas, which has become the official NCAA headquarters of Wildcats fans in recent years. UNH graduate Shawn Joyce of Portsmouth, former president and CEO of Margaritas, began hosting UNH at the restaurant for the 2004 NCAA Northeast Regional. During Happy Hour, UNH fans watched on TV as the River Hawks crushed Wisconsin.
"We love having the fans. They're really loyal," Margaritas manager P.J. Molina said.
Last night, Lowell fans were still celebrating their team's 27th win of the season, a Division I-era record for the River Hawks. Lowell (27-10-2) plays in the regional final today (6:30 p.m.) against UNH/Denver. Kaplan will be wearing his No. 29 Arnold sweater.
"His parents told me I have to keep wearing it," said Kaplan, who bought the shirt for $75 in a silent auction. "Two years ago, this team only won five games. This has been the best month ever as a fan."


text:
I love it! I love Jacob's stance and his protective, yet fierce reaction- and Edward just looking over his shoulder at both of them, although I think Bella should have been more prominent in the poster rather than sorta in the backround, in the sense that "New Moon" represents the darkest part of her life and focuses mainly on the friendship she develops with Jacob; but nonetheless I am digging the poster!
So are you ladies excited for the movie to come out? What do you think of the poster?
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Official "New Moon" Poster!
I love it! I love Jacob's stance and his protective, yet fierce reaction- and Edward just looking over his shoulder at both of them, although I think Bella should have been more prominent in the poster rather than sorta in the backround, in the sense that "New Moon" represents the darkest part of her life and focuses mainly on the friendship she develops with Jacob; but nonetheless I am digging the poster!
42 comments
- ~Mel said...
oooh.. i LOVE!!! dang, can't wait for the movie.. sigh.
- May 19, 2009 at 7:07 AM
- Tao said...
Although I'm not a Robert Pattinson fan, I have to admit wholeheartly that he looks SMOKIN' HOT here! I can't wait for the movie either! However, I still don't think Kristen Stewart makes a good Bella, Anne Hathaway or Emma Watson (Hermione from HP) would've been SO much better!
- May 19, 2009 at 7:09 AM
- ghettoflower said...
I juz hope this movie is better than the first LOL!!!
- May 19, 2009 at 7:09 AM
- A. Rose said...
yep, definitely excited! i hope this one's gonna be a little better than twilight though...
- May 19, 2009 at 7:17 AM
- Shobe said...
eeeehh im sooo excited!.haha.although i doubt that i will see robert on the movie as much as the wolf guy...
- May 19, 2009 at 7:32 AM
- DSK said...
That is one sexy poster!! i'm reading twilight right now ^^
- May 19, 2009 at 7:59 AM
- Creative1k said...
I cannot wait for this movie, I loved the book and I am feeling like a teeny bopper all over again.
- May 19, 2009 at 7:59 AM
- Anonymous said...
rawr i cant wait til this comes out.. im hoping its WAY better then the first one.. because the book was soo much better, but mabye it will pick up because we dont need to get to know all dee characters.. :) ughhhh i swear i love edward.. but jacob was soo wonderful to bella. hmm who knows
- May 19, 2009 at 8:15 AM
- Janelle said...
Oooh I love it! But I want to see mooooore Jacob!! LOL. So excited for November. :)
- May 19, 2009 at 8:18 AM
- amynicola_ox said...
the poster is nice, i get what the meaning is & everything, but i think it could be a lot more dynamic. for instance, those who aren't aware of what the movie is about, won't get anything from it. oh & jacob cuts his hair inthe book cause it gets in the way of phasing - i can't wait fo rthe movie & jacob & rob look gorgeous as usual!
- May 19, 2009 at 9:00 AM
- MakeupByTheresa said...
I'm definitely on Team Edward! :D
- May 19, 2009 at 9:04 AM
- rayqueenbee said...
I really love how Jacob looks protective and fierce in the poster. Even the color tone on his arms which tells what he will become in the this Twilight series. I also like Edward look too, I mean he looks over is shoulder and stills has that cold persona too with it. I don't like Bella look, she should have had that depressed look going on, not looking like she trying to be seductive with clothes on...lol
- May 19, 2009 at 9:06 AM
- ohlalaitsamd said...
Can NOT wait..Jacob cuts his hair in New Moon..I'm pretty sure..so that's prob. why its short in the poster
- May 19, 2009 at 9:09 AM
- e said...
In reference to his hair, New Moon is when he cuts it...you know because of his growing issues...
: )
can't wait! *sigh* I love Edward.
- May 19, 2009 at 9:12 AM
- Vanessa said...
Yeah that's what I thought, I know he cuts his hair in the book, but I thought they were trying to stay consistent with the movie in the sense that overall he has long hair, interesting!
- May 19, 2009 at 9:25 AM
- The Powder Puff said...
Holy Crap! I love this poster SO much more than the Twilight poster--no creepiness, more earthy...which totally goes with the whole feel of the book! I CANNOT wait to see a trailer!
- May 19, 2009 at 10:23 AM
- AbcGrrrL said...
I have mixed feelings about book 2. For me, I thought it was really slow so I read / skim read it as fast as I can. I guess I never got to appreciate the time Bella had with Jacob. Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to New Moon. Now, to go when it first comes out with screaming (annoying) teenagers, or to wait a week or two when the hype is gone? hmmm
- May 19, 2009 at 11:27 AM
- Pau F said...
that jacob is 1000000x hotter than R. Patz!!!
- May 19, 2009 at 12:37 PM
- hersheysxokisses said...
ooohh i like this poster! You can tell that there is so much going on between the three. I can't wait for the movie. I just need to finish the book first...
- May 19, 2009 at 12:55 PM
- leslielovesmakeup said...
lol even though i hate jacob, i feel like edward deserves it for leaving.
- May 19, 2009 at 1:15 PM
- makeupper said...
Loving the poster! Can't wait til the movie comes out!
- May 19, 2009 at 1:34 PM
- Hannah Rose said...
i love love love the series! love edward so much more than jacob but i can see where people come from with the whole jacob thing cos of how good he is to bella and all!! i agree with the comment about emma watson being better as bella, she just seems so stiff or something in the first movie, quite different to the book! sorry if i offended any die hard kirsten fans!!
- May 19, 2009 at 1:42 PM
- Paint Me Gorgeous said...
AHHHHHH it looks HOT! can't wait!
- May 19, 2009 at 1:50 PM
- Jasmin said...
awesome ! ! ! i'm super excited ! ! ! woohoo !
- May 19, 2009 at 3:07 PM
- Reese said...
OMG...Robert Pattinson is looking SOOOOO HOT as usual. UGH...I can't wait for New Moon!!!Personally, New Moon was a bit dragging for me in the beginning then towards the end it picks up and gets REALLLLY good..ugh..I absolutely LOVE the saga...Thanks sooooo much for posting the New Moon poster..it made my day!
- May 19, 2009 at 3:20 PM
- madison817 said...
considering robs not even in a chunk of this movie, i think this poster could have been better, way too much wasted space and not enough hottness! lets hope the movie does better than this
- May 19, 2009 at 4:08 PM
- PinkyKathy said...
can't wait for the movie!!!!!! I just finished reading NEW MOON couple days ago. wow!! Bella and Jake really have big part in this one. In this poster, Edward looks like a real HOT vamp, hahahaha.
and I agree with other girls, I think Kristen didn't do that good on BELLA. Bella suppose to be very complicated and emotional.
- May 19, 2009 at 5:40 PM
- Askmewhats said...
thanks for sharing, I've been wanting to see the poster since you talk about it yesterday :)
- May 19, 2009 at 6:48 PM
- Jo said...
i finally watched twilight just 2 weeks ago. i havent read the books but would love to watch the second part. too bad it probably won't be out in australia for like a few months after it gets released :(
- May 19, 2009 at 8:58 PM
- tina said...
love reading your blog because I learn so much from you...so thank you...I am giving you the Nano award... check my page if you want... love...
- May 19, 2009 at 9:06 PM
- ★JENN★ said...
oooh I like this poster! Sorry but I thought the first movie was terrible, but I loved all the books!!
I also agree that Edward should not be in front, he was barely in the book!! (I am not a "team Edward" girl, but that's not really affecting my opinion on this particular matter =P )
- May 19, 2009 at 10:19 PM
- Cezanne said...
That post brings happy tears to my eyes, they look smoking hot!!! I can't wait for New Moon to come out, I hope this director does Neew Moon justice, I think its one of the best books of the series
- May 19, 2009 at 10:52 PM
- Ava said...
I am pretty dissapointed to how Jacop looks like. He doesen`t look like a native american at all.. Or I just had really weird image about Jacob in my mind x) (sorry about my bad english.. english is not my mother tongue so I know i do mistakes)
- May 20, 2009 at 12:56 AM
- ♥Leigh♥ said...
Oh my! The poster is looking hawt! I love Edward! hahahahaha and so does everybody! LOL.Ü I think he is so handsome.I like him better than Jacob..hehehe
- May 20, 2009 at 1:22 AM
- mel_lee2007 said...
OMG YES!! so can't wait, despite some bad review I have seen on other forums, woohoo!!
Thanks for sharing with us
love mel ;)
- May 20, 2009 at 6:15 AM
- alexismae said...
I have to say I am most definitely TEAM EDWARD, but Jacob visually and like you say, in this protective yet fierce position is breathtaking!
- May 20, 2009 at 6:53 AM
- Jéssy said...
wow .. edward still beautiful!
Bella seems much more sexy than that little girl in school haha
- May 20, 2009 at 12:38 PM
- ♥ Kendall ♥ said...
Ohhh I like... 1st I thought Bella should have been in the middle... But now I think they should of put Edward in the back and with Jacob blocking him.... Ohhh I'm going to re-read New Moon in October to get all excited again!
- May 20, 2009 at 4:48 PM
- Naty1129 said...
Jacob is such a hottie! Too bad he's underage gosh he so damn fine! lol
- May 21, 2009 at 12:19 PM
- OhSoPolished said...
The movie poster is hot! I'm really excited about seeing "New Moon". I haven't read "Eclipse" yet because I'm too cheap to buy the hardcover. ;)
- May 24, 2009 at 3:17 PM
- affan said...
oohhh wat a lovely pose by Edward looking at the shoulders of Jacob..hmm....well the looks are killing and will be loved by all.I am just waiting for November to arrive soon so that i can watch it on a big screen...
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- June 2, 2009 at 4:59 AM
- Term Papers said...
It's a fascinating movie. Thanks for sharing and pulling it together.
College Term Papers
- February 24, 2010 at 9:04 PM


text:
Monday, May 24, 2010
Dirt, Dishes, and Birds
These are the dishes I found in my backyard yesterday. Not on the picnic table. Nope. These were in the sandbox, by the swingset, under a pile of dirt, on the garage floor, and in a tree (Clay was trying to make a nest for the birds with that one). I guess I should be happy that Clay put a bowl in a tree for the birds. It's certainly an improvement over last year's bird escapades... Or the time before when he put a makeshift "cage" (a roller skate) on a robin so he could keep it as a pet.
Actually, there was one more sippy cup out there, but it held the toxic remains of chocolate milk that had been in the cup for days or weeks in 95 degree weather. It was tossed. Then the garbage can spontaneously burst into flames.
Now if anyone could find the rest of my missing spoons, I'd really appreciate it. Any ideas? Anywhere they might be? Anyone?
Posted by Dawn at 11:40 PM
32 comments:
- Shari said...
I have the same spoon dilemma. Where and when did they grow legs and walk out of my house? I guess I shall never know! LOL
- May 25, 2010 at 12:17 AM
- Shari said...
Oh Dawn, I saw your Twitter update about a vacation at the beach! I say Outer Banks anyday! Awesome and they would have so much fun! I don't Twitter because I am a technological moron and can't figure it out.
- May 25, 2010 at 12:18 AM
- Christina said...
check under the couches and dresser's thats where I found all of mine today!
- May 25, 2010 at 12:24 AM
- Glenda said...
Your spoons are in the dirt in the yard somewhere. How do I know this? There are just two adults here, one of whom pretty much only goes outside to get the mail and to empty coffee grounds every few weeks.
Yesterday, I discovered that he left a spoon in the dirt with the coffee grounds.
He's just a big kid, so I'm sure your kids have left spoons in the dirt too. :-)
- May 25, 2010 at 12:30 AM
- HRH Mommy said...
Ha, that looks an awful lot like the dishes that can be found in my backyard as well...maybe I should go out there and pick them up. But then, they would be back outside in no-time...waste of energy. As for your spoons: check that area where there is the fresh dirt. Where it looks like the kids have been digging and covering things up :-)
- May 25, 2010 at 12:53 AM
- Six-Pack Momma said...
Spoons must either be buried deeper in the sandbox or in the garage in the path of the car tires, of course.
- May 25, 2010 at 12:58 AM
- Six-Pack Momma said...
BTW, I am so happy to see I am not the only one who has to reclaim misc dishes outside. It's a good thing I buy cheap plastic dishes. Oh, and don't get me started on measuring cups- I have 4 partial sets.
- May 25, 2010 at 1:00 AM
- Misty said...
I know! I know! Pick me!
One day I happened to hear clanking as my 6-year-old took out the trash. I found a handful of silverware at the bottom of the bag. Between 5 kids, apparently they either scrape their silverware right into the garbage after a meal, or in the case of the 2-year-old, it's fun to watch it disappear in the trash.
After trying to monitor the trash for a few days, I gave up and bought the big packs of restaurant spoons, knives, and/or forks at Sams club. You get like 50 of them for $7. Toss away, I say!
- May 25, 2010 at 1:25 AM
- Jacqui said...
If you find out where your spoons are let me know, I'm always missing spoons! LOL
- May 25, 2010 at 5:51 AM
- WeaselMomma said...
I'm pretty sure that you will find the spoons in your dryer.
Mine usually 'accidentally' wind up in the trash (when the Weasels don't feel like washing them).
- May 25, 2010 at 6:07 AM
- Ilene Woods said...
They get thrown out with yogurts. Damn yogurts!
- May 25, 2010 at 7:19 AM
I am so glad you blogged about this, makes me know I'm not the only one! My kids have turned my outside building into a club, but it is a club for the entire neighborhood of about 20-25 kids. This is complete with a tv and dvd player, and christmas lights and my homemade christmas wreath hung up on the door.
I will usually make them some lemonade and take it out to them, but the other day, I realized, I have absolutey no cups or glasses left. I found a few in the building, a couple in the yard, one udnerneath the bush, and one in the swimming pool....also found some out in other people's yards across the neighborhood...but there's still 5 or 6 missing. I'll keep an eye out for yoru sppons here, if you can keep an eye out for my cups! Take care Dawn!
- May 25, 2010 at 7:35 AM
- Deirdrea said...
Honestly.. WHERE do spoons go?!? I have had to buy more spoons to supplement my silverware. I've decided I'm just destined to not have matching silverware until my children move out completely.
- May 25, 2010 at 7:55 AM
- Team Carroll said...
I'm guessing the spoons are in the garbage at school, since that's where ours always ended up when I was a kid. My mom would give me a pudding or jello cup for lunch and inevitably, no matter how much she nagged at me to bring the spoon home, I often forgot, and into the garbage it went along with my lunchsack.
- May 25, 2010 at 7:57 AM
- Jennifer Foster said...
I don't know.....I found my sunglasses flushed down the toilet a month ago. Try there.....
- May 25, 2010 at 8:13 AM
I just found some of my dinner knives, spoons, and forks in the containers that hold my kids' moon sand. So, check your play dough containers if you have them! :)
- May 25, 2010 at 9:03 AM
- Andrea said...
It's always the spoons! Never a dumb old butter knife that you hardly ever use!!
- May 25, 2010 at 9:12 AM
- rthling said...
Ha! I think my kids throw the spoons out with their trash, too! Last week my son, who takes out the trash, didn't feel like going to the end of the driveway and retrieving the can. So he set the bag of trash next to the house. I didn't say anything. The next morning he spent half an hour picking up the scattered garbage, after some animal helped itself to the whole bag. Guess what was on the ground when he picked up?! A knife.
- May 25, 2010 at 9:27 AM
- firstname.lastname@example.com said...
I finally girgured out where my spoons were dissapearing to when I caught my 3 year old daughter throwing away her empty yogurt container with the spoon still in it. I rescued that one but she told me "momma, that's trash!" so who knows how many spoons she had tossed before that! No wonder I could never find any!
- May 25, 2010 at 9:34 AM
Yes! Cheap Sam's silverware and emptied & cleaned jars for glasses. I'm down to 4 boys left at home with the youngest being 11. I'm counting down the years until I can safely get real glasses & silverware that a 4 year old child can't bend - "look Mom, I'm Superman!" as a friend's son put it. But the real biggie at our house was potato peelers. Our church showed the movie Treasures of the Snow. For the longest time I would find the 2 oldest boys sitting on the deck with their legs hanging over the edge, sticks in one hand, peeler in the other. And they were whittling like mad - just like the little boy in the movie whittling as he sat dangling his legs over the mountain side. I'm just glad it was the peelers instead of paring knifes or something.
- May 25, 2010 at 10:20 AM
did your spoons ran off with my forks? had 12, now only 4. maybe they will have some baby "sporks". the lovely spoon/fork combo has to come from somewhere, right?
- May 25, 2010 at 10:43 AM
- jdb in AZ said...
When our street was being repaved my kids put a spoon on the street to watch it get covered with asphalt. They admitted it when they were older. You'll find out lotsa stuff when they're older and out of the house and can't be punished cuz the statute of mom's limitations has run out. You'll find out who really cut whose hair when they were preschoolers. The mystery of the sprung door on the clothes dryer will be solved: bro was taking sis for a "spin" in the dryer. Stuff you're glad you didn't know about at the time.
- May 25, 2010 at 10:55 AM
- ClistyB said...
Dawn, hon, your spoons were probably left in China. They finished digging and since they didn't need them for the way back, why bother?
- May 25, 2010 at 12:17 PM
- Chris said...
Dawn, consider Emerald Isle, NC. It's as lovely as the Outer Banks but is less costly, and has lots of kid-friendly things to do without breaking your budget. Been there many times and LOVE it there!
- May 25, 2010 at 3:10 PM
- Mrs. Groshong said...
I caught my son throwing away a spoon in his yogurt container...after he SWORE that he never did that! I think we lost 7 spoons before I caught him...
- May 25, 2010 at 4:51 PM
- Shanny said...
you are missing spoons too?! I thought I was the only one missing spoons. Uhmmmm........
- May 25, 2010 at 5:15 PM
Hi Dawn; I just decided that in the big scheme of things, is it really important that my spoons match? The answer is an emphatic NO and now I go to Goodwill where they have tubs of silverware. I call my collection eclectic.
- May 25, 2010 at 7:21 PM
- mommeeof9 said...
Some of my spoons must have been thrown away, a few were left in the yard and run over by the mower, I've found several in the boys blackhole, er room, etc. After I cleaned the boys room last time, I found many missing tupperware tumblers (I think a dozen 12 ounce ones), many missing bowls, plates and at least a dozen spoons. Now, I really don't care if the cheap silverware disappears, but they better not take my Great grandma's silver outside of our dining room or heads will roll. :)
- May 25, 2010 at 7:59 PM
- Spuds said...
Funny! I've found that the forks and spoons take turns escaping the "Compound". I think the kids have Theme Months for certain items... silverware, shoes, socks are never out of "theme", and we even have problems with losing pillows... but only MY pillows! Why can't the garbage ever show up missing?
- May 26, 2010 at 2:17 AM
- Sam said...
All of my sippy cups end up looking that way. The part that sucks? My kids are clearly going to use sippy cups until they go to college. Sigh.
- May 26, 2010 at 2:53 PM
- misssrobin said...
When I notice a dish shortage I ask my seventeen-year old to clean out her car. It's amazing how many she carries around with her without really noticing that they are piling up.
I also find it amazing how many dishes I find in the children's rooms even though food isn't allowed in bedrooms. I'm sure their siblings just put them there to try to get them in trouble.
Good choice on tossing the sippy cup.
- May 28, 2010 at 1:39 AM
- tonya5015 said...
Dawn, it looks as though your spoons have run off with my forks. i swear i lose an average of 2 forks a day. i have been spotted stealing plastic forks from fast food joints just to keep the house stocked. LOL
- June 11, 2010 at 10:58 AM


text:
It's amazing the amount of emails I receive, thanking me for the Trader Joe creations. To be honest, I wasn't sure if they might go over well, but glad to hear most of you enjoy them. I know most of them are semi-homemade, but in this tough economy saving money when making meals is a top priority of mine; you can imagine the amount of money I spend on food for creating recipes. Thank goodness Trader Joe's products are so versatile, user-friendly, what else (besides cheap?). Oh you know where I'm going with this......
Remember the peanut butter cream cheese cinnamon rolls topped with bacon that I did a while back? Well that is where I got the inspiration for these pumpkin ones. The instant cinnamon rolls from trader Joe's are so good, so easy and always beg to be kicked up somehow.
pumpkin-cream cheese cinnamon rolls
print recipe
1 pack of Trader Joe's Cinnamon Rolls (in the can)
2-3 TB plain pumpkin puree
4-5 ounces of cream cheese, room temp
A few dashes of pumpkin pie spice
A few dashes of cinnamon
¼ cup of crushed pecans or walnuts, optional
Note: I thought I was going to need a bit of confectioners' sugar, but I did not. The icing pack that came with the cinnamon rolls was plenty sweet.
Bake cinnamon rolls according to package directions.
Take the icing pack that came with the cinnamon rolls and place in a bowl along with the pumpkin puree, cream cheese, pumpkin pie spice, and cinnamon. Stir until well mixed. Set aside.
When rolls are done baking, immediately put the pumpkin-cream cheese mix over the rolls. Top with extra spices if desired and crushed nuts.
Serve immediately.
(they don't keep well for the next day)


text:
Already 1 billion and counting worldwide, mobile workers will comprise one-third of the world's workforce by the year 2013, according to a forecast from research firm IDC.
As mobile workers proliferate, they will continue to rely on a variety of internet-enabled devices to access essential information from the corporate network: This presents enterprises with evolving security challenges.
Mobile workers see the ability to "workshift," or work around their own schedules, as an advantage that benefits both themselves and their companies:
Although a mobile employee isn't physically working onsite, he or she still has the right to equivalent protection of any staff member in the office. The mobile connectivity firm iPass refers to these rights as the "Mobile Worker Bill of Rights." According to the bill, the mobilocracy has the right to the following:
However, all companies agreeing to any such bill of rights have certain rights of their own:
To enforce adherence to this Mobile Employers Bill of Rights within your own office, create a usage policy - requiring employee's signatures - that informs them of data security and physical security (e.g., only hands-free use while driving) measures required when using a mobile device for work purposes.
Enterprises should also educate mobile workers on typical social engineering threats like phishing and trick e-mails from spammers pretending to be financial institutions or utility companies. Encourage employees to notify the company of any suspected security compromises. The company should encourage a team concept when it comes to security - it is everyone's responsibility and not just that of IT.
When providing devices for the workforce, make sure that the company pre-loads all devices with the necessary security software before giving them to staff. (IT can conduct these downloads much more efficiently than most employees.)
If mobile workers are selecting their own cell phones and tablets, the company should ensure that they adhere to the same security protocols, such as firewall usage, updated security patches, etc., as they would with any company-issued device.
Whether employees use their own mobile devices or firm-supplied units, the enterprise can use the cloud to deliver security protocols and to route all network requests through a secured connection.
By following these security precautions, the enterprise can help ensure that its rights, as well as those of its mobile workers, are protected.
By Phil Britt


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by Ferenc Haraszti
published on 2009-12-09
Keywords: scene, building, wall, ladder,