text:
the deep end.....
98 comments:
- Lace said...
You will totally make it! I think it's completely normal for Mom's to breathe a sigh of relief when their kids are finally back in school!
- Thu Aug 13, 04:08:00 AM CDT
- Simone said...
How did I not know that you homeschool? I will hold my hands up and say that I do not know how anyone does that, I wouldn't last a day....you ARE superwoman Kasey, I have no idea how you do it, truly I don't.
Hands up to you for your honesty....summer holidays are HARD....and we are only halfway through ours in England.
Good for you for making the back to school decision - YOU WILL MAKE IT!!
Hang in there honey!
Simone :) xo
PS You must read my "brown and beautiful" post yesterday - you are another blogger who went I see that little photo of you, I think "yes, she's got my hair"! :)
Mind you, if I homeschooled, I wouldn't have any hair ;)
- Thu Aug 13, 04:18:00 AM CDT
- Dustjacket Attic said...
Oh my gosh, I know this isn't funny but I laughed at all your honest descriptions.
Hey you'll get some quite time soon, not long to wait.
- Thu Aug 13, 05:00:00 AM CDT
commented you on Facebook but then noticed the time of your post...girlfriend you have got to sleep! Trust me I know.. I have been awake for the last 18 yrs..not entirely :) Life is much easier on the days when I have gotten some sleep! Keep on keepin it real!
- Thu Aug 13, 05:34:00 AM CDT
- Zita - Mlle Magpie said...
A week and a half is nothing, Kasey! Just lock them up in a closet and slip crackers and cheese under the door (ok, you can give them a flashlight, so the little ones don't get too scared), crank up the stereo, sing loudly and dance. I guarantee that within about 30 minutes, they'll be begging to come out and be good. Kasey, you'll make it.
- Thu Aug 13, 06:06:00 AM CDT
- white flower design said...
I love reading your blog, I can really relate. You have a great sense of humor, I am sure that helps you get through the trying times. I had 3 kids in 3 years - I'm still laughing - by the way school starts here on September 9 th. Lori
- Thu Aug 13, 06:08:00 AM CDT
- Beach Vintage said...
Have a wine or some kind of alcoholic beverage. It always helps. You will make it. Don't stress.
- Thu Aug 13, 06:22:00 AM CDT
- Lori said...
I know you will make it ~ although you are tired, you still have your sense of humor! Just think ahead ~ the kids in school ~ you are in the house BY YOURSELF!!! You can spin around and dance or run through the house naked.... Keep thinking good thoughts ~ it won't be long now.
- Thu Aug 13, 06:22:00 AM CDT
- Chez Zizi said...
Kasey, please you are not alone. I work at camp and have my kids attending camp and I AM DONE with summer.
Just wait camp ends next week and then I have a week and a half until school starts for the kids (I, thankfully go back to school a week before they do - do you hear me happy dancing?). ANd the bonus is that if my kids are healthy they get to sleep at my in laws for two days - another happy dance.
It's been long but I tell ya, you will survive.
- Thu Aug 13, 06:59:00 AM CDT
- adrienne said...
Kasey, I have never posted, but love your blog, and today I felt compelled! I am done with summer too. I am done every year in August. The kids are done too. Lots of togetherness. Lots of fighting. You are so not alone. I am one of those moms that does the fun things---in JUNE. By August, it's just survival mode. I've found that planning a vacation in August or day trips gets us all out of the routine and helps a lot. We went to Kiddieland yesterday, Indiana Dunes one day...just to keep our sanity. August 24th is coming!
- Thu Aug 13, 07:05:00 AM CDT
Homeschooling-hummmmmmm I can't even inagine. I watched the woman down the street take her boys in and out of public schools all thru elem and middle now they are high school age and not doing well at all. She blames the High School. Lost souls. I'm sorry to be so serious. I just thought it would be intersting to you. I support both. Thanks for being so honest. It makes me feel normal-what is normal?)--WE ARE!
- Thu Aug 13, 07:09:00 AM CDT
- LuLu said...
You and me BOTH! Something happend this week... the kids have all turned into fighting, screaming made at each other creatures living in my house!
Wine time is getting earlier and earlier here! hee hee my hubby is out of town and my girlfriend called to chat at bath time of course and I shut the door and said talk to me while I have a beer than i wont be drinking alone!!! :)
have a good one!!
- Thu Aug 13, 07:17:00 AM CDT
- Magic Brush said...
Ok... so I'll be the only one to say that I am so sad summer is almost over. Yes, it's busy hectic and all... but I will cry next week when my boys go back to school and I just have me and the 2 year old at home. I love them being home.
- Thu Aug 13, 07:22:00 AM CDT
- Preppy Mama said...
Oh my goodness I have ones younger than yours and I am out of patience and can't wait for school to start! You are amazing for even attempting home schooling, I honestly would never have the patience so bless your heart you are more than normal. And thank you for writing this so the rest of us moms feel normal too!!
- Thu Aug 13, 07:23:00 AM CDT
I love your blog and your true honesty,we all feel that way, and we love our kids and need our breaks too!! my kids have started school here in gerogia,your break is coming soon and you will miss them a little.LOL
- Thu Aug 13, 07:28:00 AM CDT
- Martha said...
I am dying laughing Kasey...I have younger ones...but I cannot wait for those 1-2 days a week they will go for a little "break" for myself...I don't want summer to end...but I do want it to for a little bit of a break :)....and may I say what a gorgeous picture of you too! I love the picture of all three of your kiddos~ very happy, cute, and sweet:) ...and I agree with LuLu above...the wine sometimes arrives a bit earlier on some nights than others:)
- Thu Aug 13, 07:45:00 AM CDT
- traci said...
you will make it and then you will really miss them. it is such a double edged sword.
- Thu Aug 13, 07:55:00 AM CDT
- paige said...
darn, i would have loved to be standing there beside you at target & we could have ridden off together , on pink brooms of course!
hang in my friend
& enjoy the vino
- Thu Aug 13, 07:56:00 AM CDT
- SCmama1971 said...
Oh gosh! I had to laugh at your post. I thought I was the only one who had kids go crazy once we walked the the Target doors. What is it about that place that causes kid's to go birzirk?! I threaten my kid's before we even go through those Target doors.
I promise, you are NOT alone! We didn't have a summer vacation at all. No real trip or vacation and with the heat and humidity here in the south ( we are used to Southern California) we stayed inside most days. I thought I was ready for a mental breakdown too!
Heres to school starting!!
- Thu Aug 13, 08:05:00 AM CDT
- littlebyrd said...
This is so perfectly funny and made me laugh first thing today! Oliver was only off school 2 weeks and I kept thinking...all summer, really? How do people do that :)
- Thu Aug 13, 08:16:00 AM CDT
- The Flying Bee said...
LOL over here! I can SO relate! Thanks for keeping it real!
- Thu Aug 13, 08:20:00 AM CDT
- Farmgirl Paints said...
Oh Kasey you are not alone. I love my kids to death I really do. They make me happy on so many levels, but during the summer I feel chaotic. I miss the routine, they fight, I gain weight, they spend lots of time in their rooms for time outs etc...
It's hard being a mommy. Lots of patience. At least you attempted the shaving cream and play-doh - more than I can say.
Heres to public schools -three cheers. Homeschooling is not for everyone. I think you made the right decision:)
- Thu Aug 13, 08:22:00 AM CDT
- Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...
You are not alone and you will survive.
But, do what you can to treasure even the crummiest moments because before you know it they will be gone. The children I mean. The grow up and go away all too fast.
I know.
I was you.
Now I wish they were fighting and making me exhausted.
- Thu Aug 13, 08:26:00 AM CDT
- Tracey said...
Really, you were thinking of home schooling...really? You're almost there - there is a light at the end of the tunnel now:)
- Thu Aug 13, 09:04:00 AM CDT
- Tommy said...
You're normal. We often find ourselves saying in a half-joke, Kids ruin everything.
It was an easy decision for us not home school - and a relief.
- Thu Aug 13, 09:11:00 AM CDT
- Jill said...
I.am.with.YOU. I am D-O-N-E. I totally feel like the only mom who feels this way, everyone I talk to around here says, "no I am so not ready to have the kids go back to school, we are having such a great summer"....then my husband comes home from business trips and wonders why there are so many wine bottles in the recycling bin! Oh, and by the way - we don't start school until September 8th, yes, that's right, I said September 8th!
- Thu Aug 13, 09:13:00 AM CDT
- ***LIZ*** said...
I feel the same way, in theory I would love to home school all my kiddos, but in practice I don't know that it will be the best for my kids or I. I hope your kids have a great school year.
- Thu Aug 13, 09:14:00 AM CDT
- Valerie said...
Oh thank you, thank you, thank you for typing up a very real post and actually posting it. You are so normal, I am so normal, and although I love blogging and reading blogs, I could go crazy with all of the blogs I read that seem a bit too perfect, a bit too together, and really just make me want to scream. I am a very good mother, but I am also a very realistic mother, and your description of the brooms at Target not only made me laugh, but wanted me to buy us some "BE-FRI" and "ST-ENDS" necklaces to wear and be BFF's forever and ever, haha...
- Thu Aug 13, 09:19:00 AM CDT
- Rachel said...
You will make it!!! Thank you for being real! xoxo
- Thu Aug 13, 09:32:00 AM CDT
- Tara said...
You will make it...not sure if you have any other choices!! Cute photos of the kids and cute story!
- Thu Aug 13, 09:40:00 AM CDT
- Sarah said...
You will totally make it, school will be here in no time. Don't feel bad at all about sending them back to public school. You have to do what is right for your family. Isn't it funny how some families can do those fabulous things like shaving cream fights and have wonderful memories and others have such turmoil with it all. Just goes to show again, your family does what works for them and it is a beautiful thing! :)
- Thu Aug 13, 09:40:00 AM CDT
- Kristin said...
In a word Kasey, AWESOME! You made this girl smile today big as I think I would so be the kind of Mom you are in every way. Thank you for you. For being so real and you know everyone is secretly saying...AMEN, SPEAK IT SISTA, SHE KNOWS WHAT REALLY GOES ON IN MY HOUSE WITH MY KIDS...HOW DID SHE KNOW...HA HA HA...Yes, in fact because of your real they are all found out now!
Happy wonderful day to you Kasey in every single way.
- Thu Aug 13, 09:45:00 AM CDT
- Leah C said...
No, Kasey, you are not alone. You say out loud what a lot of moms are feeling:) School starts next week for us...and we're ready {at least, I am}!
P.S. The Target scene? Been there, done that;)
- Thu Aug 13, 09:49:00 AM CDT
really....you are so normal.....there is no "perfect" family.....regardless of what all the other bloggers want us to think....life is real and soooooo good!.....
ag gal...
- Thu Aug 13, 09:57:00 AM CDT
- Jackie said...
You're so not alone (obviously) - I'm ready, my kids are ready...August 26th here we come...can't wait!
- Thu Aug 13, 10:05:00 AM CDT
- Tales From the Land of Motherhood said...
I just stumbled across your blog and love this post. I posted about the same thing on my blog at the beginning of summer. I could have given the kids away, used the broom at Target or better yet packed my bags and left. I think we all have mommy "moments" like that. My 3 lovely little angels drive me crazy at times with the fights, tattling or the all out brawl they decided to have. We have roughly 10 days and 15 hrs to go until my 3 start school on the 24th. Here is to all the other mommies in the world counting down the days........
P.S. Love your blog!!
- Thu Aug 13, 10:44:00 AM CDT
- Simply Me Art said...
Normal! you are very Normal. I will tell you as they get older, the summers are much better. They do their own thing and really don't need you the way they did when they were younger. My spawn are back to school today, I was Sad to see Summer end for us. It was the most Relaxing and Peaceful Summer we have had. Now the Crazy part begins and I am sure I would Love to fly off on my Broom soon. Jamie
- Thu Aug 13, 10:55:00 AM CDT
- Morning T said...
You are awesome Kasey! I only have one child and I work full time so she's in school year round. I feel tremendous guilt about that but I know if we were home together all day long it most certainly wouldn't be playdoh and shaving cream bliss that other people portray.
We all do the best we can and here's to you for being real!
- Thu Aug 13, 10:56:00 AM CDT
Hooray for you Kasey- You are so honest! I go for the five o'clock glass of "Mommy's Time Out" pinot grigio-It really calms the nerves after going on the slip and slide for two hours.You are not alone-being a mom is definitely the test of sanity.Love your blog-enjoy your free time when it comes-LOL Jean
- Thu Aug 13, 11:12:00 AM CDT
- Chablis said...
Well, the fact that you even gave homeschooling a chance is awesome. There's nothing you can do since it lost out on the family vote! Believe me, I've been sorta "forced" into the homeschooling this year. Not by a certain person, but by circumstances. Bad ones. I'm counting down the months till we can move away from AK and bad schools! I'm filling my kids days up with other things so I have a few quiet moments...gymnastics, piano, pre-k PE! Hurray for fall and structure.
p.s. I'm SO happy you wanted to be on my "exclusive" list!
- Thu Aug 13, 11:12:00 AM CDT
- Anne Marie said...
homeschooling isn't right for every family, and that certainly does NOT mean that you did something or are something wrong.
whatever is best for your family....
but you already know that
- Thu Aug 13, 11:40:00 AM CDT
- Glitter and Bliss said...
Bless your heart. I know you made the right decision for your sweet family. I get the challenges you face.... You hang in there. Fall is just around the corner.
- Thu Aug 13, 11:44:00 AM CDT
- Jamie said...
I'm with ya' sister! We have 4 weeks until the first day of school. Every day, my girls say that they "so want school to start". I don't think that makes me mom of the year. I try to look at it positively...at least they like school. :)
- Thu Aug 13, 12:21:00 PM CDT
- fromthepines said...
omg, that was hilarious! What a change from smiley happy kids. WE know the truth right?
I know I wouldn't even have entertained the THOUGHT of homeschooling much less doing it!
At least you have a Target there.:)
- Thu Aug 13, 12:23:00 PM CDT
- luckygirlgifts said...
You are so funny and NO you are NOT alone.
Mine went back yesterday.
I posted a sweet little summer tribute blog because I don't have the guts to post about all the fighting and whining and threatening.
Oh yeah, I made playdoh, he played with it for about 10 minutes, and I thought, wow, 10 minutes when he wasn't pissed and screaming at me.
So, it was worth it.
My oldest doesn't go back for 2 weeks. She's driving me crazy.
Don't worry, you'll make it.
- Thu Aug 13, 12:23:00 PM CDT
- DolceBaci said...
Thanks for making me laugh! You are not alone...and you will make it!
- Thu Aug 13, 01:14:00 PM CDT
- Simply Mel said...
Hilarious post! Thanks for the good laugh...but I am still savoring summer so don't take it away too quickly!
- Thu Aug 13, 01:41:00 PM CDT
- Michelle said...
This makes me smile. I JUST said the exact same thing to my boys this morning. Terrible I know.. who tells their kids they are tired of them being home? Me..I guess. I cannot take one more fight, the whining is at an all time high around here and I shut all the windows this morning so the neighbors won't hear me yelling! So awful! I just need a break, the fighting wakes up the baby, which makes for a really mean Mommy. My kids won't start until Mid-Sept.. I really don't think I can make it. And like you I DARE the lady in Target to say something, I just wait for it! So far they all must be scared of me, because they haven't! I love them to pieces.. but I REALLY love them during the school year! You will make it!
- Thu Aug 13, 01:43:00 PM CDT
- Alyssa said...
Oh my! I think you made a good decision...why stress yourself out and the ones you love?? Sometimes it just has to be done...
sorry to hear about the green poop and burns! what an image :)
- Thu Aug 13, 02:17:00 PM CDT
- PamperingBeki said...
Ohhhhh honey, you are so not alone. (obviously!)
The most blog comments I've ever received was when I went on a rant similar to this one day. But mine was telling about my messy house, chubby thighs because I don't make time to exercise, the face that I put make up on Sunday mornings for church and on Wednesday, I'm still wearing it.... People came out of the woodworks.
Because regardless of what blogs look like, there are REAL people behind them! Real people with REAL kids, real lives, real zits, cellulite, messy houses, etc.
You are not alone. :)
I hope you love your free time when the kids are in school!!
- Thu Aug 13, 02:27:00 PM CDT
- Tattered Goods said...
Kasey! my girls went back to school yesterday and let me tell you AAAAHHHHH... how good it felt, I am so happy and so are they. Oh btw home schooling would make me go crazzzzy, I mean reallly how can you get anything done? unless you are up at sunrise and in bed at sunset ;) ENJOY your day
- Thu Aug 13, 02:43:00 PM CDT
- Lou Cinda said...
You will make it!! Mine went back Monday! Mine are older now 17 adn 19 and do their own thing, so it isn't as crazy as it was when they were little!
Homeschooling? I am way to dumb to homeschool. Math?? I gave up after "take away"!
Enjoy the rest of the week!
Lou Cinda
- Thu Aug 13, 02:55:00 PM CDT
- Vana said...
You are not alone...we are not alone! I am counting down the days sista...for both of us! than we can have that glass of wine we've been talking about.
- Thu Aug 13, 03:24:00 PM CDT
- Bonnie said...
I can totally relate. I have the highest respect for you - raising more than one child at a time. I like to say God knows me so well, He didn't give me more than one son to raise at a time (my oldest is 23, my stepson is 9). You aren't alone. You aren't crazy and I don't think I know one Mom who isn't ready for her children to go back to school come September. Homeschooling Moms amaze me, too because I know I'd never, ever be good at it. I don't think that makes me a horrible Mom - just a woman who knows her weaknesses and chooses to avoid having others suffer for them. All the best to your kids as they start back to school!!! I hope it's a glorious, wonderful and wonder-filled year for all of you. :) Blessings!!
- Thu Aug 13, 03:47:00 PM CDT
- jen from wr said...
Hang in there, LOL! Did you really have a shaving cream fight? I would go crazy trying to homeschool my kids(I am forced to with Destiny and the highschooler shomeschool themselves). Do you seriously usually homeschool?
- Thu Aug 13, 04:05:00 PM CDT
- paperhill said...
you'll be ok, hang in there :)
- Thu Aug 13, 04:11:00 PM CDT
- Kelly C. said...
i absolutely LOVED this post {though i'm sorry it's been a crazy time}. you have such a way with words!
hang in there!
- Thu Aug 13, 05:09:00 PM CDT
- Andrea Villarreal said...
Mine went back on Monday HA! I was so ready!! You aren't the only one believe me. You home schooled you crazy woman:) I didn't know that. We can barely get through homework time can't even imagine doing it all. All day everyday!! I love my kids don't get me wrong but I think even Mrs. Clever sent Wally and the Beev to public school:)
- Thu Aug 13, 06:07:00 PM CDT
- Joanna Jenkins said...
TOTALLY normal! I'm counting the days for you.
Hang in there.
- Thu Aug 13, 06:57:00 PM CDT
Now I'm feeling completely idiotic for posting my "shaving cream fight", although, I don't think I was alone on that one. It's not all fluff, I guess I'm lucky that I can go to Target ALONE. It allows me to save the energy for the shaving cream war. You know, whatever works. It gets better.
- Thu Aug 13, 06:58:00 PM CDT
Did i mention how much I love reading your blog?????
Honey, I am soooo on the same page as you.
It's the constant bickering of my two children thats going to send me over the edge!
- Thu Aug 13, 07:46:00 PM CDT
- adrienne said...
thanks for your comment.
this is my first summer home with the kids, and it was BEYOND insane.
i know some of theses mommy bloggers outside of their blogs, and they're ALL losing it; some folks are far less honest about it, in my most humble and unpopular opinion.
the decision to not homeschool is so very hard, but i think having cps sniffing through your laundry would be a tad more uncomfortable.
labor day festivities in my house are going to be like frickin' bastille day...
vive le first day of school!!!
- Thu Aug 13, 08:42:00 PM CDT
- kana said...
I am right there with you.....I am so over summer, the heat, the lack of schedule, etc. Your kids will soar in public school and find many new friends. God did not give me the patience to be a home schooling mom and my kids are better for it and I am too! Hang in there, the first day will be here soon!!!
- Thu Aug 13, 08:45:00 PM CDT
- Kim Wilson said...
My sister linked your blog to me on facebook today, hoping it would be an encouragement. I was having a day from Hades and I almost died laughing reading your blog! Your life is like mine!!! Look on the bright side... you only have a few days left of summer...mine don't go back until Sept.8th. Thank you for bringing some levity to a dark day.
- Thu Aug 13, 09:09:00 PM CDT
- Kelly said...
Oh my word. I just stumbled across your blog and it is hilarious! I know your post today wasn't necessarily supposed to be funny but it was. I saw the shaving cream thing too...did you see it on Meg's blog?...and didn't dare try it for the reasons you stated. Too funny!
My kids started school yesterday. Well 2 of 5 did. I was sad but they go to year-round school so we'll have another break soon enough. I hope you can enjoy the rest of your's a teeny bit! :)
I will be back for sure!
- Thu Aug 13, 09:12:00 PM CDT
- Brenna LaPray said...
I'm still laughing!!! I love how you describe things. You kill me! Believe me Kasey, I think summer gets long for every mom...even the ones who make play-doe. I'm so looking forward to the first day of school.
- Thu Aug 13, 10:00:00 PM CDT
- aahcoffee said...
I can so completely understand! I want to jump up and down and yell "me too, me too"!
- Thu Aug 13, 10:15:00 PM CDT
- Allegra said...
It sure feels to me like there is just NO winning. BUT, we always make it. YOU WILL make it! :)
- Thu Aug 13, 10:51:00 PM CDT
- Kasey said...
Ha! Hilarious. Hang in there, you're almost there!
- Thu Aug 13, 10:52:00 PM CDT
- Marci said...
sweetheart you are soooo not alone! i actually ran away the other day in my truck with my 5 yr old chasing me up the side of the street and screaming at me!
- Fri Aug 14, 12:05:00 AM CDT
- Alicia said...
wow what a tough decision to make!! but hey, at least you found a friend already! and you are such a wonderful mother....enjoy the last week!!
- Fri Aug 14, 12:40:00 AM CDT
- rdford said...
You are so not alone! Yesterday was my boys' first day back to school. Sigh!!!! I hit a wall about a week ago. My boys' are much older than your children, but I felt like a ran a motel all summer and my kitchen door was converted into a revolving one! Love my boys more than anything, but all GOOD things must come to an end.
Enjoy your blog!!
- Fri Aug 14, 10:05:00 AM CDT
- julie said...
oh kasey! you are not alone! i have friends that homeschool that i think wow thats wonderful! however, i just dont think i could do it! my patience are running very thin too! i LOVE my children and are going to miss them when school starts but they are ready and i think i am too!
- Fri Aug 14, 10:06:00 AM CDT
- Beth said...
I just love this post ...and your blog! I have 2 children and the other day thought the same thing about school starting... I'm done. We have until Sept. 7th...I think?? Let's hope I make it...I live at the pool and don't think I can stand one more greasy application of sunscreen or anymore smelly, dirty beach towels and lost goggles! Ugg.
We just went to Old Town Alexandria for a few days and it was just what the Doctor ordered!
Have a good day.
- Fri Aug 14, 10:17:00 AM CDT
- Laura said...
I think you will make it. But I am not sure. I came ever so close to being taken away in a straight jacket a couple of summers ago...I think I blogged about it...let me check...
- Fri Aug 14, 11:58:00 AM CDT
- Rue said...
Have you ever seen Christmas Vacation? If so, do you remember the line after Clark loses it and asks his dad, "How did you get through it?" and the dad says "I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels"...
Yeah? Well, there's something to say about that ;)
You can do it Kasey!
- Fri Aug 14, 12:14:00 PM CDT
- Laura said...
I found it. The post I wrote the summer I had a nervous breakdown.
So far, so good this summer for me...but there are 2 weeks left and camp is over. I could blow at any minute...wait, that sounded sexual...let me change that...I could LOSE IT anytime now.
That's better.
and the shaving cream? I laughed out loud. I thought about doing it with my kids...but KNEW that I would be yelling at them the entire time...and the EYES..it would SO get in their eyes...
- Fri Aug 14, 12:15:00 PM CDT
- Victoria@WhimsybyVictoria said...
So with you on the kids going back to school! Tired of the fighting, complaining, "I am bored", you know...all of it! I love my kids more than anything, but I also understand that they need their break from me as much as I do from them. Oh, they know if mom puts her "evil" eyes on and look like a crazy women...I mean business. It is part of being a mom! lol. Hang in there...I am doing the same...it is almost school time! Yay!!
Hugs to you friend,
- Fri Aug 14, 12:50:00 PM CDT
- Flower Patch Farmgirl said...
I keep hearing all you girls talking about how thankful you are that it's almost time for school again. And then I count the YEARS I have left until all of mine are in school! And then I die a small death.
You are normal.
- Fri Aug 14, 01:18:00 PM CDT
- paperbird said...
You are the amazing Kasey- You can do it!
- Fri Aug 14, 02:44:00 PM CDT
- Kris said...
Kasey - you crack me up girl. Honesty is the best policy and I so remember those days you are speaking of and I only had one boy to raise - but did it on my own. Any mother that can home-school or be a SAHM is an incredible human being. Work is what saved my life and my son needed that socialization I couldn't provide. Keep telling it like it is - it's so refreshing. Take care! Kris
- Fri Aug 14, 07:41:00 PM CDT
- krys kirkpatrick said...
I am with you. I started my own business, had 3 children, my husband was gone most of the time. If it wasn't for babysitters and my job, I don't think I would have made it. My kids are now 31, 29 and 23. The youngest just graduated from college in Dec. I am freeeeeeeeeeeee! And, they are lovely well adjusted adults who actually love me. Thank God!
- Fri Aug 14, 08:39:00 PM CDT
- caren said...
I have so felt like that in the past and I only have one daughter. She is 23 now and sometimes I could still get the broom! She is a great kid and has always been but about the time I say that it's PMS time - know what I mean? lol
- Fri Aug 14, 09:39:00 PM CDT
- Jaime said...
Hi I'm one of your blog stalkers. I think you are freakin' funny. What a great mom...and I applaude you decision!
- Sat Aug 15, 01:49:00 AM CDT
- Lizzie said...
we've been back to school for a week now. and i already miss summer!!!
when the kids are home i want them at school. when they're at school i want them home. goodness!
you'll survive, i promise :)
- Sat Aug 15, 09:09:00 AM CDT
- Beth Quinn said...
hey girlie ... i couldn't agree more with you as much as i hate so them go I so LOVE it ! they need structure someone to tell them no that isn't there mom , they know the buttons to push and they are ready to go too as much as they might not think they are- i could never homeschool , because i too dont have the patience , and that is OKAY that is why we have public schools - soo thanks for the honest post ... in a couple weeks you wont know what to do with your self and you will find yourself again ... and not just be mommy ...hang in there !!
- Sat Aug 15, 09:26:00 AM CDT
- MelanyTN said...
OH my goodness. Thank you for this post. Honest and exactly what I've been feeling.
- Sat Aug 15, 09:59:00 AM CDT
- RobinBirdsNest said...
OMG! this has got to be one of the best posts I haave read in a long time! How true. My kids are all grown up with kids of their own now. but boy do I remember that feeling. Love your blog.
- Sat Aug 15, 12:40:00 PM CDT
- Lisa said...
Totally agree! Only 4 days to go here...yahoo! Oh, and the whole home schooling part of the post...a joke right? After reading your fab blog for a while I think it is clear your kids have always gone to school and are not home schooled and you like it that way as do SO MANY of us!
- Sat Aug 15, 12:40:00 PM CDT
- Jean Knee said...
oh sweetie, you will make it. And you are soo not alone, you just have a REAL life.
- Sat Aug 15, 01:15:00 PM CDT
- Sa-Sea Boutique said...
You are NOT alone! I actually told my husband I need to get a part time job so that i can send my kids to school for a bit. Sometimes a girl needs a break.....
- Sat Aug 15, 06:47:00 PM CDT
- Jennifer said...
Oh you are NOT alone! And...I am so glad to hear that I am not alone either! I had a very, very similar Target moment last week and then realized that my neighbor was in the next aisle...ughhh...but then realized that I really didn't care! Funny too because I thought I was having one of those great make your own playdough, picnic in the yard, collecting fireflies in a jar kinda summers! That all came to a halt about 2 weeks ago. They are done I am done...and then of course when they go back, I will miss them. ahhhhh...motherhood!!!!
- Sat Aug 15, 08:32:00 PM CDT
- What's next said...
oh, I needed to read this today! I wanted to kill my fighting girls earlier today!!!
- Sun Aug 16, 12:01:00 AM CDT
- Sweet Addie said...
Kasy you crack me the F*#@ up!! I love hearing that you feel exactly like I do!!! Don't get me wrong, I love my kiddos, but I think I love them the best when they are sleeping! While it's all fine and dandy hearing about how moms do the play-dough, shaving cream things, lets be honest, sometimes we just want to escape motherhood! It's exhausting, monotonous and messy, and nothing like "they" tell you before you have kids!! We should all get real more often and tell it like it really is just like you do!
- Sun Aug 16, 08:58:00 PM CDT
- PS~Erin said...
Okay, you know how you secretly feel good inside when you witness someone else's child throwing a fit in the middle of the store? It's not bc you are happy that they are miserable, but bc you are relieved that it *does* happen to other people (and it's *not* happening to you at that very moment in time). That's kind of how I felt when I read this... I am so thankful for your honesty and appreciate you sharing this. I had my "Target moment" in a neighborhood Tex-Mex restaurant this weekend. It sucked.
- Sun Aug 16, 09:39:00 PM CDT
OMGOSH, I AM NOT KIDDING.. I had a breakdown in Target today. My 14 year old smart mouth said something really humiliating to me in the school supply isle. He didn't whisper it either...all the moms turned and looked at me. I couldn't figure out if I should cry or yell. instead, I grabbed his cheeks and squished them together. I'm sure I looked real in control, up on my tippy toes and doing this to my son who stands 6'1"... somehow, I pulled it together and finished getting all $80 worth of school supplies and wondered why a lady with a sweet looking toddler kept looking at me... I swear, I think she was going to report me.. Came home, cried, made my son ride his bike to football (in his pads), now feeling like the worst mom ever.. just read your blog, and yes, I am so ready for summer to be over. You are my new soul sister. swear.
- Tue Aug 18, 05:38:00 PM CDT
- Carmen said...
Kasey, darling, you are NOT alone. While I *have* indeed enjoyed this summer with my children, I am so ready for them to go back to school. I could never home school, never! Props to the parents who do but it's definitely NOT for me. You'll make it through the rest of summer and so will I and when the kids go to school, it will be QUIET. Woo hoo! (((Hugs)))
- Thu Aug 20, 09:17:00 AM CDT
- vintagebejoyful said...
none of us have the June and Ward Cleaver life, some try, most fail, the best gift we can give our kids, is our real self, honest above everything, they deserve to see us for who we are and learn to love us anyway, what a gift we can give them.....a life full of love and yes, flaws, we are all a little flawed.....
- Fri Aug 21, 12:35:00 AM CDT


text:
Social science studies find that male bosses are more likely to judge the competence of women managers using a skewed view on gender. In practice, this means organisations are missing out on a proactive approach to leadership.
Via David Hain
Get Started for FREE
Sign up with Facebook Sign up with Twitter
I don't have a Facebook or a Twitter account
Your new post is loading...
Your new post is loading...
donhornsby's curator insight, October 28, 2014 10:21 AM
(From the article): To keep a company's vision current every CEO needs to continue learning. Our experts agree that this learning should go beyond the industry and beyond business and take on global dimensions. Jeff Immelt of General Electric told us, "You become a CEO not because of what you know, but because of how fast you can learn, and that's something that people don't always understand. There is a projection of what the world will be like in 5, 10, 15 or 20 years, and can a person continue to meet that change as time goes on?"
Bolzonello adds, "After you become a CEO, keep an open mind. Read books, watch news, listen to the music, and speak to young people. Pay attention to what is happening. Keep track of the times." Our experts also confirmed that they continue to learn from their parents and pick up interesting ideas and tools from their children, including young ones.
David Hain's curator insight, March 29, 2014 4:08 AM
Enlightened senior people embrace coaching because they need someone to talk to!
Chris Brown's curator insight, June 18, 2014 9:18 AM
Engaged employees like to work for engaged leaders. Another reminder that we must lead people....not numbers!
Next time you are giving feedback to another employee, focus on the person, not the number... they will be more motivated to find a path to improvement.
Darrin J Wikoff's curator insight, June 20, 2014 10:31 AM
Setting strategy, defining objectives, building plans that are not aligned with the common belief and value systems is the definition of "disengaged leadership". I agree that Leaders must create new mental models and inspire new value systems in order to drive change...but they can't do it in isolation. The "do-tell" method doesn't apply here. Leaders must engage and be engaged. Leaders must recognize when it's best to follow...and be the First Follower.
Sabine Henrichfreise's curator insight, June 16, 2014 2:29 PM
Executive Coaching is helping our Clients exploring their diversity of success strategies.
When it comes to working with teams engaging for succeeding collectively, coaching helps to abandon collective dysfunctional patterns and to amplify the powerful ones.
When it comes to Organizational Transformation, Coaching is a way of creating innovation and engagement across silos.
When it comes to Large Group Interventions, Coaching is the way to reconnect people across functions and to create a new culture of relationship and performance.
Julian Jencquel's curator insight, June 20, 2014 11:58 AM
I would say executive coaching is a "success enhancer".
Ivon Prefontaine, PhD's curator insight, March 29, 2014 2:33 PM
Leadership has been changing for some time, but not uniformly. It is not readily evident in education that hierarchy is a thing of the past. What this means is that we are educating children and youth in a model that theorists think is passe. No wonder we have a crisis. Practice and theory are not separate, they are fused.
Deborah Verran's comment, March 29, 2014 6:13 PM
Leadership is not just about having ability it is all about demonstrating that ability in practice i.e. standing up & accepting both responsibility & accountability

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Now Mac mini packs even more power, thanks to the latest dual-core and quad-core Intel processors. It also features integrated Intel HD Graphics 4000, great built-in apps, Thunderbolt, USB 3 and OS X Mavericks.
To speak with one of our sales team about your Apple requirements, please use the following contact details.
Education 01727 201860
Schools 01727 201820
Get insights from the XMA experts
by connecting with us today.
Cookies are used on the Viglen website to enhance your browsing experience and they are
You can accept or decline cookies*, if you prefer, by modifying your browser settings.
A cookie is a small text file, uniquely assigned to you, that is copied to your computer by the web server and can only be read by that web server.
The primary purpose is to save you time on each returning visit by retrieving the relevant content that you may have previously provided.
* If you choose to decline cookies, you may not be able to fully experience the features of this or other linked websites that you visit.
Cookies cannot be used to run programs or deliver viruses to your computer.
Print this page?
Email this page?
Report an error on this page?
Web Accessibility Initiative
Web Accessibility Initiative Feedback Form
Provide feedback of your browsing experience on the Viglen website
(Please enable the recognised browsers in the following way below)
Internet Explorer Browser: Tools > Internet Options > Advanced > Security (tab) > Allow active content to run
Google Chrome: Tools > options > Under the bonnet > Allow all sites to run Javascript


text:
I'm usually prepared for visits and pack a few toys/games to occupy the little ones. I wasn't prepared today. In fact, we all got up late and I threw pieces of toast to the kids as I
Anyway, as I started writing my post for tonight, I remembered that I had written one about my trip to the dentist back in July to have a couple cavities filled. I only posted the last paragraph for some reason. Here's the rest of it.....
I went to the dentist today. My dentist is a little Novocaine happy. Then again, my old dentist never used Novocaine when he filled my teeth. Of course, he was senile. Seriously, I'd gone to the same dentist for 20-some years and despite the fact that I'd have a tooth filled one week, he wouldn't seem to remember me the following week. Maybe that's why, when I switched dentists, my new one told me that my teeth were still decayed beneath my fillings - because he didn't drill them enough, thus no need for Novocaine.
Anyway, he approached me with the needle and I clamped my mouth shut.
"Open," he instructed.
"Huh-uh!" I said while turning my head.
He looked at me for a minute while debating whether I was serious. He wondered for a minute if he should restrain me, give up, or plug my nose thereby forcing me to open my mouth.
I gave in and opened up.
He slowly pushed the plunger on the syringe and, after 4 and a half minutes, had injected 86 ounces of Novocaine. Meanwhile I sat there all nice and tense, my nails biting into the flesh of my palms. I jab my nails into my hands while having my teeth worked on because I'm positive this will keep my dentist from hitting a nerve and sending me into orbit in a fit of horrific pain. I'm serious. It works.
"Go ahead and rinse."
I sit up, take a sip from the cup that magically fills every time he tells me to rinse, and swish it around my mouth which is quickly becoming numb. Then I spit. I don't think I've ever just spit into the bowl and been done with it. Not once in my life. And I've had a LOT of dental appointments in my life. Nope, I don't just spit. I spit and drool and make a huge mess. Sometimes I spit with such force that the water sloshes over the side of the bowl. Sometimes I kinda miss the bowl. But I ALWAYS have globs of drool hanging all over my face when I'm done. No problem - I have my very own absorbent paper bib to wipe my mouth on. I'm sure my dentist is thoroughly disgusted by my practice of wiping my mouth all over myself. By the time I leave, the bib is a soaking wet, shriveled scrap of paper.
Then he grabs another syringe and points it at my mouth.
"What the...?"
"I'll fix the tooth on top too." Then he proceeds to repeat the process on the top of my mouth.
So he drilled my teeth with a um, jackhammer. Seriously, I don't know what kind of drill bit he was using, but I felt this vibrating in my head as a delicious burnt flavor slowly dripped down my throat. As he drilled my teeth, I concentrated on not swallowing. The more I thought about not swallowing, the more I needed to swallow and no matter how much I willed myself not to, my throat didn't obey. I have this fear that I'm going to swallow while he's drilling and the swallowing action is going to push his drill into my gum where it will bore a hole through my skull and I won't even know it because I'm so numb. What's left of my brain will leak out into my mouth and I'll accidentally spit it into the little toilet bowl the next time I'm told to rinse.
When he's done drilling, he starts to put some tooth-filler-stuff in them. After putting some goo on my tooth, he takes this little wand that has a glowing purple light on it. It's basically a glow stick that kids like to play with at Halloween. It makes some sort of beeping noise. The purpose of this is to glow and beep.
After the glow stick treatment, the dentist had me bite down on a piece of carbon paper. When businesses went from that old fashioned machine where they slid your credit card under a stack of paper and carbons to an automated computer system, they gave dentists their supply of leftover carbon paper. I mean, they didn't want to just throw it out. That would be wasteful. The dentist uses this carbon paper to ...well, actually they just use it because they don't want to throw away their boxes and boxes of carbon paper either.
After my appointment, I went shopping for a pair of shoes because I'd decided that I couldn't wear my Crocs to BlogHer. I went to 50 shoe stores! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a pair of shoes that look cute and yet are super comfortable? I found dozens of cute pairs at every store. They were adorable! Unfortunately, I would break my neck if I ever tried to walk in them. Still, I tried a couple pairs on for kicks. Keep in mind, that at this point, my mouth was still completely numb. So here I am, stumbling around in these heels, my mouth drooping, probably drooling on myself and I couldn't stop thinking about that Seinfeld episode with Kramer and the shoes and the Novocaine!


text:
A pretty amazing girl that you would definitely want to meet and probably make babies with.
I think I'm in love with a Britni, for sure.
by badaire June 09, 2009
Only the most amazing girl in the world.. So beautiful that nature itself aches with jealousy, this gorgeous lady has the ability to turn heads and steal hearts. She also walks the dreams of those who grow an attraction to her dreamy ways. Her delicate ways make life so much easier to understand and extremely exciting to live. Her deep, affectionate eyes only draw you in closer day by day..
The presence of that fine young lady gave me butterflies. Must have been Britni!!
by kapreasefoool January 30, 2010
Oh, Britni? She's only the most UHHMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, MOST UNDERSTANDING PERSON YOU'LL EVER MEET!
She's also the BEST sister anyone could ever ask for!(:
She's also the BEST sister anyone could ever ask for!(:
by Brit's favorite sister(: October 11, 2011
a girl who loves smoking weed.
by Yllis September 22, 2008
A Britni is someone who is amazingly beautiful and can be very sweet when she wants to be. You have to watch your back because Britnis are often very two-faced. They will be all kinds of fake (sweet, loving) to your face but make one wrong move and they will be on you like a spider monkey. Britnis are super sensitive and don't think twice before they act. No matter how beautiful they are and how sweet they can be at times, they are very unpredictable and to date/be friends with a Britni, you have to be sure you are on your guard.
by mercy_girl December 23, 2012
Slut.A dumb bitch that will probably grow up to have cankles and 9 kids. Typically has brown hair and brown eyes.
Me: See that new girl over there?
A: Yeah that's Britni.
Me: She's a bitch.
A: Yeah that's Britni.
Me: She's a bitch.
by h131/2 October 26, 2013
Trending RN - July 22, 2018
- 1. R-Word
- 3. boufa
- 4. Red Light Challenge
- 5. spakka
- 6. Shota
- 7. tool
- 8. carson
- 9. monkeys
- 10. Jake Paulers
- 11. The R-word
- 12. dark lunch
- 13. frocio
- 14. Fourth point of contact
- 15. fgf
- 16. the cake is a lie
- 17. braciole
- 18. qpoc
- 19. 34.5
- 23. por detroit
- 24. Kotaku
- 25. black belt in sucking dick
- 26. sigma
- 27. Clam Shucking
- 28. Saturdaze
- 29. Canadian Handshake
- 30. Recent


text:
Among the candidates President Obama may nominate for the next defense secretary is Michele Flournoy, formerly the highest-ranking woman in the Pentagon.
Flournoy is a mother of three, and in February, she stunned her colleagues when she stepped down from her job as undersecretary of defense for policy to spend more time with her children.
It wasn't an easy decision, but it's a dilemma that many working mothers face. While some call for changes in workplace policy to make caring for families and working easier, others argue women ultimately have to make a choice.
Choosing Family Over Career
When Flournoy was working at the Pentagon, she says her hours were long and intense. She would work starting at 7 a.m. for about 12 hours, "pretty much non-stop." Then she would have maybe two hours with her family at home before being available to work again around 9 p.m.
She did that for three years. During that time, both she and her husband were in senior government positions (her husband, W. Scott Gould, is deputy secretary of Veterans Affairs).
"There was a point in time, when my older kids were reaching the teenage years, that they really needed more of a parent," she tells Guy Raz, host of weekends on All Things Considered.
So after a number of long discussions with her husband, Flournoy says, they decided it was time for one of them to step out.
It was an agonizing decision for Flournoy, in part because she didn't want to let down the younger women who looked to her to open doors for them. The reaction she actually received surprised her.
Her decision resonated with women around the country — and it prompted a new national discussion about whether mothers can reach the highest levels of government or corporate America as easily as men.
Glass Ceilings Left Unbroken
Though many industries in this country are increasingly dominated by women, there is no evidence that things at the top are changing. Kay Hymowitz, a scholar with the Manhattan Institute, says only 4 percent of the CEOs at Fortune 500 companies are female. Why the disparity?
Hymowitz says it's children — "though we have to always make the caveat that yes, there is discrimination. But the major factor in the gap — both the ... wage gap and the gap at the very top ... is due to children."
Both the public and private sectors are adapting in some ways to change that, particularly by offering flextime. "But at a certain point — and this is particularly true at the top — the competition is so keen to get ahead that if you have a young baby at home [and] you're a woman — or, for that matter, a man — who wants to be quite involved with raising that baby, it's just a matter of physics," she says. "You cannot be doing both things."
So women work fewer hours, take off more time for maternity leave and are more likely to work part time than men. Hymowitz says they seem to want it that way, too.
"The presumption that this is really what women want — they want this absolute parity with men in the workplace — it really remains to be proven," she says.
Not Exactly A Choice
Karen Kornbluh spent three years looking for ways to close the gender gap as an ambassador to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. She worries there's too much focus on the "alpha females" who could run companies or governments.
Diversifying leadership is important, she says, "but what I also want to pay attention to is the middle-class family, the lower-income family, where the mother doesn't even have the choice of stepping out."
Choice is a funny word, though. Kornbluh says inequality in the workplace in this country is not about women — of any socioeconomic status — choosing family over work.
"I wouldn't call it a 'choice' in the classic sense, because I don't think they have a lot of options," she says.
"You're expected to give 100 percent on the home front and 100 percent at the work front and 100 percent to your friends and your community," she says, "and you feel like a complete failure."
Unrealistic Expectations
Before serving as ambassador, Kornbluh rose to deputy chief of staff at the Treasury. After the birth of her second child, she quit.
We simply haven't yet adjusted to contemporary family life, she says, which often requires all adults to juggle work and home.
"We still have this idea in our head that the ideal worker is the breadwinner with no [domestic] responsibilities and the ideal parent is the homemaker with no workplace responsibilities," she says. "And we haven't changed our expectations enough."
Beyond flextime and health insurance, Kornbluh says, quality, affordable child care would make a significant impact, particularly for lower-income and single-parent families. That and economic growth. Lower wages have meant more hours for both parents — and more time away from home.
"If we could get growth again — but broadly shared growth," she says, "that would make a huge difference."
Having It All: It's Possible
When Flournoy stepped down from the Pentagon, a number of women thanked her for making it OK to have times in life to "rebalance in favor of family." For Flournoy, that shift happens in waves. She believes it is possible to be a working mom at the highest levels of the workplace.
"I just think ... there's a sequencing," she says. "I mean, I'm one who believes that you can have it all — you just can't always have it at exactly the same time with equal intensity."
"My career has looked like a sine curve in terms of balancing and rebalancing," Flournoy adds. "Different periods where I've had more intense career focus versus more of a family focus." That's not possible for everyone, she admits, as many women don't have the support they need to rebalance while staying competitive.
At this point in her career, Flournoy says, either she or her husband still needs to be out of government service, for their teenagers.
"But I have certainly had a chance to recharge my batteries, and I am eager for public service in the future," she says. "That said, it would be very hard to miss these very precious years where I have ... the last years with my teenagers at home."
It's WEEKENDS on ALL THINGS CONSIDERED from NPR News. I'm Guy Raz.
And for our cover story today, a question: Can working moms make it to the top? And we came to this story in a roundabout sort of way because it started with talk about the next Defense secretary.
President Obama is expected to make that announcement in the coming weeks. And in recent days, there's been a lot of speculation over whether that job could go to former Senator Chuck Hagel or even possibly to Michele Flournoy, formerly the highest ranking woman in the Pentagon.
Now, last year, Michele Flournoy stunned her colleagues when she stepped down from her job as undersecretary of Defense for policy. Flournoy is a mother of three, and she said she needed to spend more time with them. And when we spoke with her about it recently, she described what her life was like.
MICHELE FLOURNOY: I usually got to work between 7 and 7:30 in the morning and would pretty much go nonstop until about 7, 7:30 at night. And then I would take a break for an hour and a half or two, have a, you know, on a good day, have a little time at home with my family. Put my kids to bed or help them with homework. And then by about 9 o'clock, be available again to start working, either by phone or fax or just doing paperwork.
RAZ: You did this for three years. At what point did you realize it was really taking a toll?
FLOURNOY: You know, I think for our family, the added complication is that both my husband and I were in senior government positions at the same time. He's the deputy secretary of the VA. And so we were really asking a lot of our kids during that three-year period to have both of us working flat out.
And while I don't think our family would trade it for the world in terms of the opportunity to serve this president, there was a point in time when my older kids were reaching the teenage years that they really needed more of a parent. And so my husband and I had a number of long discussions and decided that it was time for one of us to step out.
RAZ: We'll hear more from Michele Flournoy in a moment. Her decision resonated with women around the country. And it prompted a new national discussion about whether mothers can reach the highest levels of corporate America as easily as men. We asked Katie Jacobs Stanton, a top executive at Twitter and a mother of three as well, about balancing motherhood with career.
KATIE JACOBS STANTON: Last night, I got home from work a little bit late. We've had a really intense week at Twitter, which is great and it's sterling, but it's meant that I've come home from work late every night. And last night, I got back. And my daughter said, well, mom, I owe three dozen cookies, homemade - and they have to be homemade. And we need to bring them in tomorrow.
And it was about 8:30 p.m. I thought, oh, my God. I felt so bad. And, you know, there's nothing that a quick batch of Toll House can't solve. So that seemed to work out OK. So you have to take, you know, each day in stride and enjoy what you have.
RAZ: Two years ago, Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, gave a TED Talk where she described how previous generations of women blazed a trail for people like her. But at the same time, Sandberg described a problem.
SHERYL SANDBERG: And the problem is this: Women are not making it to the top of any profession anywhere in the world. The numbers tell the story quite clearly: 190 heads of state, nine are women. Of all the people in parliaments in the world, 13 percent are women. In the corporate sector, women at the top, C-level jobs, board seats, tops out at 15, 16 percent. The numbers have not moved since 2002 and are going in the wrong direction.
RAZ: Sandberg's message to working mothers was this: Don't take your foot off the gas pedal. But for many working mothers, it's not so simple and Sandberg acknowledged that in her talk. For Michele Flournoy, the decision to leave the Pentagon was agonizing.
FLOURNOY: I did agonize over the decision for a number of reasons, including the sense of not wanting to let down the side. But what's interesting is since I've made the decision to step out for a while, I've had a number of young women come up to me and actually say thank you. Thank you for making it OK to have periods in your career where you do rebalance in favor of family and for demonstrating that you can do that and still, over the arc of a career, continue to progress and continue to have opportunities to, you know, serve and contribute. So I was actually surprised by the reaction because I had worried about, you know, letting down the side, if you will.
RAZ: Is it possible to attain the highest levels in government or corporations or academia or wherever and still be a mom, a working mom?
FLOURNOY: I think you can. I just think you have to - there's a sequencing. I mean, I'm one who believes that you can have it all, you just can't always have it at exactly the same time with equal intensity. My career has looked like a sine curve in terms of balancing and rebalancing. Different periods where I've had more intense career focus versus more of a family focus.
And I think the issue is that that's not true for a lot of women. And we as a society haven't figured out how to adequately support women so that they can have periods of rebalancing and still continue to progress in their careers at a rate and at a level comparable to their male counterparts.
RAZ: Do you think you are at a place in your life now, having taken this year away from government, where you could go back to that kind of demanding life again?
FLOURNOY: You know, I think we as a family are at a place where we realize with teenagers, one of us has to be out of government service. So I think if I were to go back in, you know, one of us would have to be out. But I have certainly had a chance to recharge my batteries, and I am eager for public service in the future. That said, it would be very hard to miss these very precious years where I have my - the last years with my teenagers at home.
RAZ: That's Michele Flournoy. She was the highest ranking woman at the Defense Department where she served as undersecretary for defense policy. A few weeks ago, Kay Hymowitz, a scholar with the Manhattan Institute, wrote an article for City Journal about this very dilemma. It's called "The Plight of the Alpha Female." And in it, she cites some staggering statistics.
Women now outnumber men in the American workforce. But at the top, the gender gap is huge. Only 4 percent of the CEOs at Fortune 500 companies are female. Twenty percent of law school deans, even though most law students are women, and just a quarter of senior executives in corporate America. So despite the great efforts in both the public and private sector, why such a huge disparity at the top?
KAY HYMOWITZ: Well, there's one word: children. What happens is that women work fewer hours than men. They take off more time for maternity leave. They tend to also work - they're far more likely to work part-time than men are. And according to surveys, they seem to want it that way, though we have to always make the caveat that yes, there is discrimination. But the major factor in the gap - both the gender gap, wage gap and the gap at the very top, the gap among the alpha females - is due to children.
RAZ: It seems to me that that is a kind of a form of discrimination. I mean, if you have, as you write, many young women when they're at the point in their careers where they're really going to get to the next level, it's usually around the same time when they decide to have children.
So I wonder, I mean, why can't institutions and the corporate sector and other parts of America adapt to that and accept that there may be periods of time when those promising women will be out of work for some time, will be with their children, or they're making scale back on their hours for a few years?
HYMOWITZ: Well, I think that the corporate America and certainly the public sector also is trying to do that and has been somewhat successful. There's a very powerful movement towards flextime. I think the number is something like 77 percent of corporations are now offering flextime to at least some of their employees.
But at a certain point - and this is particularly true at the top - the competition is so keen to get ahead that if you have a young baby at home and you're a woman - or, for that matter, a man - who wants to be quite involved with raising that baby, it's just a matter of physics. You cannot be doing both things. So...
RAZ: It seems, though, that you're being penalized for that.
HYMOWITZ: Well, it's a funny way of putting it in my mind to say that you're penalized because you have children. There's no question that we can do more to try to arrange the workplace around this problem. But I think your question the way you - it really implies that there are no differences between men and women; they all want the same thing and want similar amounts of time with their children, similar things from the workplace.
That may not be true. So I think the presumption that this is really what women want - they want this absolute parity with men in the workplace, it really remains to be proven. But the bottom line is this. Look, if you have company A and they can deliver a product faster, if they can meet with a client at any time of the day or night, go travel anywhere in the world to have a meeting with that client, that company A is the one who's going to get the job. So should we change that? I don't see how you can.
RAZ: Kay Hymowitz's article is called "The Plight of the Alpha Female." It's in the latest issue of the City Journal. Kay, thank you.
HYMOWITZ: Thank you.
RAZ: Women in America earn roughly 77 cents for every dollar men earn. And while many industries in this country are increasingly being dominated by women, there is no evidence that things at the top are changing. It's a point that Sheryl Sandberg made in her TED Talk.
SANDBERG: My generation, really sadly, is not going to change the numbers at the top. They're just not moving. We are not going to get to where 50 percent of the population. In my generation, there will not be 50 percent of people at the top of any industry. But I'm hopeful that future generations can. I think the world that was run where half of our countries and half of our companies were run by women would be a better world.
RAZ: But what about women who aren't at the top? What are their options? We're going to continue our conversation in a moment. We'll hear from the former ambassador to the Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development who spent three years looking for ways to close the gender gap.
RAZ: Stay with us. It's ALL THINGS CONSIDERED from NPR News.
RAZ: It's WEEKENDS on ALL THINGS CONSIDERED from NPR News. I'm Guy Raz.
And we're continuing our cover story about working mothers and making it to the top. These are issues Karen Kornbluh knows well. For years, she's been studying and writing about trying to juggle it all, and she's been living it as well.
In the 1990s, she rose to deputy chief of staff at the Treasury Department. But after the birth of her second child, she decided to quit. Kornbluh eventually went back to work and rose to become the U.S. ambassador to the Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development. And there, she launched a project to improve economic opportunities for women around the world.
Earlier this year, she stepped down, in part to spend more time with her two teenage sons.
KAREN KORNBLUH: You're expected to give 100 percent on the home front and 100 percent at the work front and 100 percent to your friends and your community and you feel like a complete failure. But I think here, we haven't really adjusted to what I call the juggler family - the rise of the family where all adults are working. Either it's a single parent working or two parents working. We still have this idea in our head that the ideal worker is a breadwinner with no family responsibilities and the ideal parent is the homemaker with no workplace responsibilities. And we haven't changed our expectations enough.
RAZ: As we heard earlier from Kay Hymowitz, her argument is that many women make this choice. They choose to spend time with their kids over pay. That the opportunities are there, there's flextime, there are all these, you know, corporations have adapted and the workplace has adapted. And many women just make this choice. Do you think that that's the case?
KORNBLUH: I wouldn't call it a choice in the classic sense because I don't think they have a lot of options. We don't have the option to work flexibly and not lose your health care, in many cases. We don't have the option to work and have your children in a safe, high-quality child care situation.
Until we give families some real options, I don't want to blame or say there's no problem because women are making a choice, and they're making a choice and they don't have serious options. And I think we can look to other countries to see what serious options look like, whether it's a better child care system, paid maternity leave, flexibility. These things exist in other countries. We haven't really incorporated them here.
And if I could just say one other thing. What distresses me a little bit is when the conversation becomes only about the high-wage earner, the alpha women, as some people have called it, the person who might become CEO. I think that's really important. I don't want to diminish that. We want our leaders to be a diverse group. I think women have a lot to add in all of those areas, and our companies would be better off, our countries would be better off, if we had more women. But what I want to also pay attention to is the middle-class family, the lower-income family where the mother doesn't even have the choice of stepping out.
RAZ: Yeah.
KORNBLUH: So 25 percent of American children are living in single parent households. That's mostly women. And those families are very poor. You know, there's a very high incidence of poverty in single parent families. So a lot of our children are in that situation, and those mothers have really very few options.
RAZ: What would make, in your view, the biggest single impact quickly? What's the one thing that would be relatively simple to do, or maybe not, but would have a huge impact?
KORNBLUH: Really high-quality child care. Treating it like public education. Maybe not the government providing it, maybe just providing financial support and more quality assurance. But the fact that we have so many parents who have no options for what to do with their kids - child care costs as much as the first year of college and yet parents have had no time to save.
RAZ: That's Karen Kornbluh. She's the former U.S. ambassador to the Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development. Karen, thank you so much for coming in.
KORNBLUH: Thank you very much. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


text:
Skip Navigation
Log in with username/password
Log in with Facebook
wearing daddy's shoes
No comments yet.
Be the first to comment on this photo!
To comment on photos, you need to login first.
Have you forgotten your username or password? Retrieve Your Login Details
579 France Photos
793 Italy Photos