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Go back to Neumann's Journey: Part IV
Neumann's Journey Part V: Neumann's phone call Neumann opened a little case and carefully produced a quarter. The coin was secured with electrical tape to a tangle of nylon thread, which Neumann ran between his fingers, pausing every now and then to pick apart the knots. He pressed his thumb against the tape to ensure its adhesion, and let the coin dangle before his eyes, tugging it gently to reassure himself that it would hold. Neumann had long considered it a matter of the utmost injustice to demand payment for something that would otherwise go unused, or worse, be discarded as waste; and far from feeling the slightest remorse for resisting such efforts, he took a peculiar pleasure in circumventing their means of enforcement. He couldn't in all honesty take credit for the originality of his method, but he could swear to the unfailing use he had made of it since witnessing an older boy employ it on a vending machine as a child. Of course, the boy had committed theft and despite the admiration Neumann felt for his ingenuity, he stood there in the feverish hope that the lad would be tackled by police and beaten soundly for his crime. To this day, whenever he let the coin swing from its thread he felt a flame of indignation fire his cheeks, and wondered if, by some long and tortuous path of fate, the young boy was ever made to pay for his delinquency. Neumann let the receiver dangle from its cord and carefully fed the coin into the slot. There was a time, now lost in the mythology of his youth, when he could simply flick the money in with a casual gesture and tug it back before it was caught in the apparatus. He shook his head fondly at the memory. How many times he could do it in a row. How many! For a breathless instant he doubted the machine could ever defeat him; then the smile faded and there was a moment of panic as the realization took hold: if it were never to defeat him he'd forever be denied his victory; thwarted by his own irresistible power, he'd be compelled to stand there in a sweltering phone booth as people lined up and knocked on the door and peered through the glass to see if he was still feeding coins into that slot and flicking them out again in endless repetition. Would it be possible even to keep his count under those conditions? He felt a heavy weight shift in his bowels, and then at his fingertips an improbable snag as the coin was snatched from its thread. He put the handset in its cradle and retrieved his money, gladly retiring with a record that doubtless stood unchallenged to this very day. He was out of practice now and had to hang up and reattach the coin a dozen times before he was finally free to dial his number, and then it rang till Neumann's ear grew damp and numb before someone condescended to pick up the receiver. And still, even then, he was greeted only with a sullen silence. Neumann was well aware that someone was on the line as he could hear the other periodically clearing his throat, but he wouldn't speak and Neumann, for his part, refused to be baited into initiating the conversation. At last he observed to himself that the other party might have benefited from a lesson in telephone etiquette. "I beg your pardon?" came the indignant reply. The voice was unfamiliar, with an accent Neumann could only barely decipher, though he was gratified to hear the other speak at all. "I beg your pardon?" he mimicked, a tiny smile curling the ends of his lips. "Did you just tell me I could use a lesson in telephone etiquette?" Neumann shook his head in feigned protest. "No, no. I don't think so. How could I have known you were on the line?" "I heard you say it," the man complained. "I was speaking to myself." "Well what do you want?" he demanded angrily. Neumann thought for a moment. "Who are you?" The other seemed taken aback by the question. "Don't you know? You called me." "I did, yes," Neumann agreed. "And did you finally answer the phone?" "I heard you speak." The man insisted. Neumann gave a sniff. "I wasn't loud. You must have been fairly close when it happened." The other took a moment to make some sense of this, then asked again, "So what do you want?" "I want to speak to someone at this number." The man let out a a quick burst of mocking laughter. "Is that all?" "I want some answers." "Answers?" he scoffed. "I'm afraid you must have the wrong number." Now it was Neumann's turn to pause. It hadn't occurred to him that he might have misdialed. "What number is this?" he asked with growing unease. "Don't you know?" the man responded slyly. "You called me." "I called for Mr. St. Pierre," he corrected. "I've no idea who you are." "What business do you have with Mr. St. Pierre?" "I already told you; I want answers." "Well, Mr. St. Pierre is not in the business of providing answers. You must have the wrong number." With that, Neumann was astonished to discover, the man ended the conversation. He slammed the phone down in a pique of frustration, then immediately reached into his change case and pulled out his quarter. Such was his agitation that even when the coin was snatched from its line, he went on and dialled, picking out each button like a personal enemy before smashing it with the tip of his finger. When his call was answered, almost immediately, by a delicate cough, Neumann demanded to speak with Mr. St. Pierre. "Speaking," the voice replied with unexpected civility. Neumann narrowed his eyes. "This is Neumann. Speaking. Are you Mr. St. Pierre?" "You were expecting someone else?" Neumann decided to get to the point. "You owe me a quarter." "I owe you a what?" "A quarter." "A quarter?" He repeated, as though unfamiliar with the term. "A quarter of what?" The question caught Neumann by surprise. "What do you mean a 'a quarter of what'? A quarter." "A quarter of a quarter, you say?" "A quarter of—It's twenty-five cents, I'm saying!" "But a quarter of twenty-five cents is only—" "—twenty-five cents you owe me!" "Actually, it's only six and a quarter—" "—It's twenty-five cents!" "—It's—" "—Twenty-five cents!" The other end went quiet for a moment. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" There was more. But Neumann was content to begin with the money. "Let's talk about the money first." "Well, if you insist on it, how—" "—Twenty-five cents!" "—can I refuse? How soon would you need it?" Neumann nodded in satisfaction; the man had gotten the message. "P-D-Q," he warned, punching the letters out like buttons on a telephone. "Yes, well, it's yours whenever you want it… each of those twenty-five cents—" "—And you're bringing it tonight?" "Bringing it?" The man chuckled softly. "Indeed. What a question." "Then put it in the mail." "If you insist." Then he added, as an aside, "You are aware, of course, that postage—" Neumann's voice went up a pitch. "And you—" "—won't even dignify that with an answer." Neumann was stung by the realization that he had been outmanoeuvred. "Fine," he conceded through gritted teeth, "then I'll pick it up myself. Just tell me how to find you." "You have a pencil?" The smile reappeared at the ends of his lips. "Of course I do." Then a crafty look crept into his eyes as he tore down the despicable poster of some go-go dancing telephone prostitute. "And—" "—Yes, yes. Go on." ... Neumann turned a corner and was suddenly aware of a disturbance issuing from a nearby block of apartments. His first instinct was to turn and head away from the scene, but he was slowed by the idea that a fleeing criminal might have the same inclination—and he was anxious neither to encounter one nor, indeed, to be mistaken for one by an over-zealous officer of the peace. His moment of hesitation passed, however, as he spied the beacon of a cruiser flashing in the adjacent lot. Neumann lowered his head and hurried to the safety of its flickering glow. As he neared one of the buildings he was accosted by a dreadful caterwaul, this time from a unit above him. An angry resident of one of the upper floors was delivering a profanity-laced demand for silence, and threatening to call in the police to enforce it. The disgruntled tenant was evidently unaware that her neighbour's predicament had evolved well beyond the point where quiet might reasonably be expected, as the source of the most anguished cries was a man swinging by his arms from a balcony on the seventh floor. "Why?" the man shrieked, and Neumann was suddenly aware that he was holding a kitchen knife. "Why won't you just let me die?" He sobbed and cursed and moaning bitterly, repeated at intervals, "I just want to die..." Neumann marvelled at the courage of the two officers holding him fast by the elbows. But he could well understand the man's confusion. By all rights they should have flung him from the balcony themselves—or turned that knife around and driven it back into his spleen. Why they'd risk their own lives to keep the man from achieving his wish was as profound a mystery to Neumann as any he'd ever pondered. Did it really matter that no one serious about death would find himself locked in the arms of police at that pivotal moment? "I just want to die" he insisted again, but Neumann was far from persuaded. He winced as the man ran the blade along his exposed chest, but this merely confirmed his suspicion that he was witnessing a performance: if it were blood the man wanted, his neck would have been a more certain bet—and the wrist of a would-be rescuer the greatest guarantee of all. Neumann had a hard time following the ensuing conversation, but it seemed the man was embroiled in an argument over whether he would even die in a fall from such a height. Neumann thought it a fair question—one for which he wouldn't presume to know the answer—but he grew ever more doubtful that it would be put to the test. As expected, the knife was eventually wrestled his grip, and the man was hauled, with no unnecessary forbearance, back over the railing, where he flailed about in a renewed show of defiance, and it took a knee to the back—and then a punitive shoe to the head—before he was finally divested of his will to resist. Order was restored at last, and the man was cuffed and dragged sobbing into the living room. As he was lost to view, Neumann could hear him barking to his wife inside: "Don't sign any complaint. Don't sign any complaint." Another officer came from around the corner to Neumann's right. He had a radio strapped to his chest and a flashlight trained to the ground. As he made his way across the parking lot, he twisted his neck to speak into the mouthpiece. Between bursts of static and unintelligible chatter he reported recovery of the knife—and a running shoe, and a box-cutter the man had used in a failed attempt to slash his wrists. Neumann shook his head. He would have called for the officer's attention immediately, but he held his tongue, curious to know if the other would add anything more incriminating to the collection. With Neumann watching, however, he seemed content to catalogue the items found, carefully bagging and labelling each for future reference: kitchen knife, bloody shoe, box-cutter. Neumann called out to him at last. "Your attention, officer—" The man was in conversation with an assistant, but he turned his head at Neumann's call, then raised his arm and pointed in Neumann's direction. For a moment, Neumann thought the other was pointing behind him, in answer to a question he hadn't yet articulated. He'd seen it all before, and wondered if it meant his destination was in the opposite direction, perhaps into that very tenement where those vulgar histrionics had been on display. The officer, however, quickly handed the evidence to his assistant and lumbered over to explain. He was bigger than Neumann first supposed, and younger, with a broad, flat face and hands that looked to have been trained on a tobacco farm. Neumann wondered why those hands had been put to no better use than scavenging for refuse in an abandoned lot—and he would have taken the opportunity to demand an answer if the other hadn't interrupted his thoughts. "You a witness?" he enquired. Expecting answers not questions, Neumann was briefly caught off balance. "Witness?" he stammered. "Witness," the man repeated, emphasising the wit. "You speak English?" Neumann was briefly tempted to take the bait, to feign an inability to speak or see, in hopes of avoiding interrogation. He didn't think the other would remember that he had already addressed him, not five minutes earlier, but as he doubted his ability to conjure up a foreign accent, let alone a convincing vocabulary, he was forced to abandon the idea altogether. Besides, he had questions of his own that needed asking. "I am looking for this address," he explained, pointing to the final item on his list of directions. The officer followed his finger and scribbled the information in his notepad. Then he paused and leaned his head to one side, apparently to get a better look at the harlot pictured on the back. Neumann suddenly regretted displaying the list and quickly returned it to his pocket. "Were you a witness to the crime, Mr…?" "Crime?" The officer stepped closer. "Sir, are you having trouble understanding me?" Neumann leaned so far back to avoid the man's expansive paunch that he almost lost his footing. "I'm just looking—" "—That's not what I asked you, sir. Have you been drinking this evening?" "Drinking?" Neumann gasped. "Look here—" He took another step back and reached for the list in his pocket. "—Sir…" The man's voice rose alarmingly and Neumann was aware that his thick fingers had drifted toward the holster at his side. Uncertain whether his interests were better served by pleading his case or presenting his empty palms for inspection, Neumann remained perfectly motionless. He wanted to tell the man exactly what he had witnessed: two intrepid servants of the pubic risking their lives in the line of duty, while a third was out collecting trash and harassing the citizenry. Instead, he offered a helpless shrug and simply pleaded ignorance. "I don't know anything," he muttered. "I didn't see anything. I'm lost." Neumann was sure the man would find some pretext to continue the interrogation, but to his enormous relief the officer merely glanced into his notebook before flipping it shut, then nodded toward the building across the street. "Good luck finding a seat."
Go on to Neumann's Journey Part VI
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Tiny Solar HD
- Publisher: 6Nice Studio
- Genre: Simulation
- Released: 14 Jan, 2013
- Size: 23.3 MB
- Price: $1.99
- App Store Info
When looking up to the sky with shining stars, have you ever been wondering what are there or what happened in the great universe? Yep, there are a plenty of asteroids wandering in clueless, there are huge fixed stars around which the planets traveling. They might interact each other, crash, explode, and then become fantasies in the universe. There might be black holes, which even swallow the light. And there might be aliens who drive their pirate ships to grab everywhere.If you want to experience the interest of universe, take a shoot on Tiny Solar, which is an open sand-box universe simulative game. Through getting close to any substance in the universe and attracting them to your orbit, you can expand your galaxy. You can choose to absorb them or keep some senior planets around you. You will grow from a single fragment to a planet, living planet, little star, middle star, huge star, galaxy and finally to a black hole which can swallow everything. You will feel increasingly stronger and enjoy funs from different stages.
In the vast infinite universe, there are a lot of other galaxies. You might meet many of them when you move your galaxy to discover the mysterious universe. Some are weak, while some are very powerful, the gravitation spread everywhere and will attract you close to them. Some planets system will become very aggressive and will dispatch the fleets attack you. You can strengthen your galaxy ceaselessly or use your wisdom exterminate the powerful enemy or bully the weak, which will bring you considerable sense of achievement.
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Wednesday, March 12, 2008
This city ain't country
I saw a cowboy hat on the dashboard of a parked pickup truck this morning. You know what demographics sport cowboy hats in my neck of the woods? Mexicans and gay cowboys, possibly also gay Mexican cowboys. But not many of Nashville's key demographic.
This suits me just fine, as a man in a cowboy hat is not a particularly compelling image for me.
So how about you—do you live in country-music country or a country-free zone?
14 comments:
- Klynn said...
Bleh. Smack dab in the middle of redneck heck. We have almost as many country stations as there are other genres combined. I can listen to almost any kind of music...except country/bluegrass. I can't stand the whiney she/he-done-me-wrong crap.
Otherwise, I have very eclectic tastes. I like everything from classical to jazz to jam band to 80's-90's alternative to modern alternative. - 6:36 PM
- Becky..AMHW said...
My first little junior high boyfriend is now a gay cowboy in Chicago. Though we grew up in an area where there were lots and lots of cowboys, I don't remember him ever being interested in rodeo then...
I live in mariachi zone. - 6:48 PM
- Jay said...
Country music is present but avoidable - one FM station, one AM station, but the Texas two-step bar changed over last year to something else.
And nothing could be as bad as being stuck in the middle of Nevada with only an AM radio the year that Lee Greenwood's "Proud to be an American" hit #1. {shudder} - 9:09 PM
Exported country music makes it all the way to the emerald isle. It gets in the mix on most of our radio stations here in ireland.
Good stuff for the most part:) - 3:18 AM
Orange -- actually, US99 ("the BEST of today's country!") is based in 312 area code land, according to my country music-lovin' south side mother in law.
Minneapolis has crummy weather, but some GREAT radio stations. Three NPR outlets (one talky, one current music, one classical), a jazz station owned and operated by the Mpls Public Schools (fun to listen to the student djs butcher names, but some great programming) and a few independent radio outlets that change formats every hour.
I know radio is quaint and old fashioned in the digital age, but I really enjoy the serendipity of cruising around in the car and hearing something I never would have listened to otherwise.
Sara S - 12:24 AM
- Narya said...
I'm always amused by the Mexican-cowboy thing, especially when I head to Alcala's to buy more cowboy boots (because how many is too many, really?).
- Rayne of Terror said...
Downstate IL has PLENTY of country stations, but it's avoidable.
- Charly said...
Country music has changed a lot in the past few years. Most country artists are indistinguishable from pop artists. There's been a lot of crossovers from classic rock, pop, and even R&B. It really annoys me when I hear someone say how they can't stand country because it's all "she done me wrong crap." That's like saying I won't listen to alternative because it's only about killing yourself, or I won't listen to rap because it's only about guns and drugs. I just recently moved from Tulsa, OK, where country stations outnumber all other genres except Christian, to Alaska, where there's very few stations, period. What I have found here is that most people listen to and enjoy whatever station they can pick up, regardless of what it plays.
- bitchphd said...
a man in a cowboy hat is not a particularly compelling image for me.
You're missing out. - 8:55 AM
Years before Nashville had the Grand Ole Opry, Chicago was the agricultural center of the Midwest (think of the stockyards, and the fact that McCormick Place is named after the guy who invented the mechanical reaper). It used to be that the place to hear country music was WLS's "National Barn Dance." The program began in 1924 and ran until the 1960s, when WLS was sold and began to play rock 'n' roll instead (which is when I first began listening to it). NBD was where "hillbilly" music got respectable and became "country and western," and then "country," and a lot of early country music shows were modeled on it. It's where Gene Autry, that singing cowboy, got his start.
I don't know why all the country music went south, except that that's where it came from in the first place....
Jessie - 6:02 AM
- Mona Buonanotte said...
We live in Shitkicker Heaven, m'dear. Not overrun, mind you, but enough to drive me to drink.
- Feral Mom said...
Yeah, nothing but club beats and hip hop here in L.A. I kind of miss the twang and 80s hair metal that was the staple of both my hometowns, actual (IA) and adopted (downstate IL).
- E. said...
Yes, downstate IL has plenty o' country, but here in my university town, country listeners tend to be outside of the campus zone, while campus is fairly country free.
I'd just like to say that while I have no use for new Nashville shite, I do love Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, Hank Williams, and the Carter family. And I went to the Grand Ole Opry at the Ryman Auditorium a couple years back, and it was pretty damned rad (and very old timey). (I also listened to WLS as a kid, but post-60's and thus post "National Barn Dance," which I'd never heard of 'til today.) - 7:49 AM
- Psycho Kitty said...
Smack dab in the middle of the *real* cowboys, darlin'. Got a big "A" for "Aggie" painted up on the foothills and everything.


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Matthew McConaughey Marries Camila Alves!
Everything's bigger in Texas -- especially celebrity weddings!
Texas native Matthew McConaughey and his love of six years Camila Alves tied the knot in Austin Saturday, multiple sources confirm to Us Weekly.
"There were about 100 of his close friends and family there," one wedding guest tells Us of the "high-end," campout-themed soiree. "[The ceremony] was very emotional. There was a moment when . . . [Matthew] leaned down and whispered something in [Camila's] ear and you could see a tear coming down her face. Everyone let out a collective sigh."
PHOTOS: Unforgettable celebrity weddings
Following the ceremony, guests -- including Woody Harrelson and filmmaker Richard Linklater -- celebrated all night long, camping out in state-of-the-art tents set up on McConaughey and Alves' property.
"It's definitely a campground, but they weren't exactly roughing it," one source explained. "They have showers, restrooms, and air conditioning. It's very unique, high-end camping."
Alves and McConaughey, 42, who met at a bar in Los Angeles in 2006, have two children together, Levi, 3, and Vida, 2. The actor proposed to his Brazilian-born love this past Christmas.
"Just asked Camila to marry me, #MerryChristmas," the Magic Mike star tweeted December 25, posting a sweet photo of the newly-engaged pair sharing a smooch.
PHOTOS: Stars show off their HUGE engagement rings
"I found the woman I wanna make a family with, hopefully live our life out together," he declared to Esquire magazine in March 2011. Still, the head-over-heels pair saw no reason to rush things, because, as Alves told ET Canada this past March, they already felt like a married couple.
PHOTOS: Hollywood's hottest married couples
As young as her children are, Alves admitted her kids were excited when their parents decided to make their union official.
"Levi actually understands what it means now that mama's going to have the same last name as they have, so that's neat!" the model explained.
As for plans to expand their brood?
Teased Alves, "We'll see!"
Keep clicking to see more pics of the couple!


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*Book a select 2017 Avalon Waterways Europe river cruise to receive $1,000 off per person on the cruise/land or cruise only price. Offer available on select dates in 2017 and on select cruises ONLY. Booking must be made, under deposit and discount applied between November 9, 2016 and April 4, 2017 for travel at select times in 2017. Avalon and Royal Suites excluded. Not applicable to custom tours. Not applicable on TBA space. Combinable with all applicable offers except single supplement waiver. Applies to new 2017 bookings only and will not be applied to pre-existing bookings. Offer reliant on space availability at time of booking and may be withdrawn at any time. Full cancellation penalties will apply. Additional restrictions may apply; see Travel Terms & Conditions for details. Offer applies to participating GFOB offices only. PRMW0408
*Book a select 2017 Avalon Waterways Europe river cruise in order to waive the cabin single supplement fee on the cruise portion of your booking. Only five promotional staterooms available each departure, Applies to E, D, B, A & P cabin categories. Booking must be made, under deposit, and discount applied between April 6 and April 4, 2017 for travel in 2017. Applies to new 2017 bookings only and will not be applied to pre-existing bookings. Offer reliant on space availability and may be withdrawn at any time. Not combinable with other offers except the Journeys Club Repeat Traveler benefit and any applicable air credits. Full cancellation penalties will apply. Additional restrictions may apply; see Travel Terms & Conditions for details. May be withdrawn at any time. SWPUThe following departures are excluded from this promotion:WAZ70603, WAZ170603, WAL70603, WAL070603, WAL170603, WAL270603, WBA70926, WBA170926, WNB70905, WNB070908, WPP71003, WPP171003, WZA70709, WZAE70707, WZA170709, WZA270707, WAB70609, WAB71017T, WAZ70708, WAZ170708, WAZ71008, WAZ70520, WNZ71207, WJL271026T, WLP70710, WNZ071209, WAOE70707, WAZ70527, WAZ170527, WPL71021T, WLP070711, WHA70409, WJL70910, WJL070912, WJL170910, WJL270910, WPL70905, WPL070905, WPL170516, WZAE70914, WZA170916, WBN70716T, WBN070718T, WBO70913, WBOE70913, WNO70905, WAB70718, WAB70526, WNB070630, WNO70627, WNOE70627, WPP70418, WPP170418, WPL70418, WPL070418, WPL170418, WAZ70507, WPL70909, WPL070909, WAL70617, WPL170909, WPL270909, WAL70909, WJL170525, WJL70525, WNB070926, WVF71203, WPL071021T, WLP170710, WXVZ71203, WPL171021T, WPL271021T, WAL71021T, WAL071021T, WAL171021T, WAL271021T, WLP70710, WZA70506, WZAE70504, WZA170506, WARZ70604, WOB70614, WOB070615, WON70614, WON070615, WHA70402, WJL70507, 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WJL270525, WBA70523, WBA170523, WBN70924, WBN070926, WBV71021, WBV071023, WPP70422, WPP170422, WZA70610, WZAE70608, WZA170610, WZA270608, WZA70617, WZAE70615, WZA170617, WZA270615, WZA70902, WZAE70831, WZA170902, WZA270831, WLA70825, WBN70813T, WBN070815T, WBO71011, WBOE71011, WFZ71214, WJL70817, WJL070819, WJL170817, WJL270817, WPL70812, WPL070812, WPL170812, WPL270812, WAL70812, WAL070812, WAL170812, WAL270812, WJL71022T, WJL071024T, WJL171022T, WJL271022T, WPL71017T, WPL071017T, WPL171017T, WPL271017T, WNB70803, WNB070806, WNV71125, WNV071127, WOB71018, WOB071019, WPB70424, WPB070426, WPP70909, WPP170909, WZA70416, WZAE70414, WZA170416, WARZ71012, WPP70808T, WPP170808T, WPL70808T, WPL070808T, WPL170808T, WPL270808T, WNB70831, WNB070903, WZA71014, WZAE71012, WZA171014, WZA271012, WLA71006, WLA071007, WLA171006, WAB70704, WARZ70811, WBL70714, WBL070715, WBLM70714, WBLP70714, WBN70910, WBN070912, WNB70916, WNB070919, WRN70917, WRN070919, WZA71216T, WZAE71214T, WZA171216T, WZA271214T, 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Sail along the Moselle, Rhine, Main, and Danube Rivers and through the dramatic Rhine Gorge and Main Danube Canal on this remarkable river cruise vacation. Your journey begins with two overnights in Paris, guided city sightseeing, and leisure time to explore the "City of Light" on your own. Travel from Paris to Metz or Luxembourg City via high-speed train and embark your river cruise ship in Remich. Guided sightseeing in each city shows you the highlights, with inside visits to Siegfried's Mechanical Musical Instrument Museum in charming Rüdesheim, the Bishop's Residenz in Würzburg, and Melk's Benedictine Abbey. Pass the legendary Lorelei rock, taste some of the Moselle's wine in Bernkastel and participate in a lively tasting of some of Germany's famous beers in Regensburg. End your cruise in Budapest, Hungary's vibrant capital! All of this and much more awaits you on this marvelous cruise vacation. This cruise's special offers »
Cruise: deluxe 14-night cruise in an outside stateroom with Avalon's exclusive Comfort Collection BedsSMDays 1-2 Paris: welcome to France; guided sightseeing on Day 2Day 3 Paris–Remich (Embarkation): travel from Paris to Metz or Luxembourg City by high-speed train and on to Remich by motorcoach; onboard welcome receptionDay 4 Trier: choice of guided city sightseeing or "Roman Trier" sightseeing, see the Porta NigraDay 5 Bernkastel: guided walk; wine tastingDay 6 Rhine Gorge–Rüdesheim: cruise through the Rhine Gorge; visit Siegfried's Mechanical Musical Instrument Museum in Rüdesheim; enjoy a special treatDay 7 Main River Village: guided walkDay 8 Würzburg: guided sightseeing, visit the Bishop's ResidenzDay 9 Bamberg: guided sightseeing, see the Old Town HallDay 10 Nuremberg. Excursion to Munich: guided sightseeing, see the MarienplatzDay 11 Nuremberg–Roth: choice of Nuremberg Rally Grounds tour or guided sightseeing in RothDay 12 Regensburg: guided walk; enjoy a snack at the Historische Wurstküche; beer tastingDay 13 Passau: guided walkDay 14 Melk–Vienna: guided visit of the Benedictine Abbey in MelkDay 15 Vienna: guided sightseeingDay 16 Budapest: guided sightseeing, see Fishermen's Bastion and Heroes' SquareDay 17 Budapest (Disembarkation): your vacation ends this morning
Special onboard and onshore experiences presented by entertainers, artisans, and experts, designed to enrich your cruise.Enjoy a tasting of the area's famed Moselle wines, and learn about the Main Danube canal at an onboard lecture.
Included excursions with Certified Local Guides.
Personalized room options.
Space to relax & unwind.
A lounge serving premium spirits.
Maintain your routine in the fitness center.
Alternate lunch option - Sky Bistro.
Chef-inspired regional recipes.
Four-course dinners with open seating.
Complimentary wine, beer and soft drinks with all onboard lunches and dinners.
Large bathrooms - showers w/ glass doors.
Panoramic windows throughout every ship.
Elegant, contemporary design throughout.
Nightly choice of appetizers, entrées, desserts or cheese.
Premium L'Occitane bath products.
Friendly, English speaking crew.
Light lunch alternative.
Headsets for shore excursions.
You see life differently. While others chase what's popular, you follow your own path. At Avalon, we share your unique point of view. That's why we've used our 85-plus years to design a cruise experience that's just a bit different. Here are some of the features and amenities you'll experience on board our Avalon ships.
Welcome to Paris, France's capital on the River Seine and the "City of Light," where romance fills the air!
Known as one of the world's most romantic and lively cities, Paris is a delight for your senses. Your included CITY SIGHTSEEING TOUR shows you magnificent must-see sights, such as Notre Dame Cathedral, the Louvre Museum with its glass pyramid as a contrast to its ancient architecture, the commemorative Arc de Triomphe, and the Eiffel Tower. In your free time, stroll down the Champs-Elysées with lavish cafés, or perhaps visit the Louvre or Montmartre with its gleaming white Sacré Coeur Basilica and bevy of artists on Place du Tertre. Paris is also well known for its colorful nightlife, and an optional outing to one of its famous cabaret shows is available. (Breakfast)
This morning, board a HIGH-SPEED TRAIN for a swift and comfortable journey to Metz or Luxembourg City. Continue to Remich in the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg, where your river cruise vessel is docked on the Moselle River. Before dinner, meet your crew at a welcome reception. The Moselle River is some 312 miles long, rising in the Vosges Mountains of northeastern France and entering Germany at Trier. (Breakfast, Dinner)
At the head of the Moselle Valley is Trier, Germany's oldest city. Some say Trier is even older than Rome and was populated over a thousand years before the Romans arrived. Many Roman remains have survived, including a 20,000-seat amphitheater; the Porta Nigra, the only surviving fortified gate from the original Roman settlement, which still gives access to the town's center; imperial baths; and the Roman Bridge, Germany's oldest bridge, with stone pilings dating from 144-152 AD—all evidence of this once-grand Roman city. Choose from an included GUIDED CITY SIGHTSEEING or the more history-focused "ROMAN TRIER" guided tour. As you cruise the wide, peaceful curves of the Moselle River, it becomes obvious why the Moselle Valley is famous for its picturesque scenery, and that this is an important wine-growing region. (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
In the middle of the Moselle region is the charming wine village of Bernkastel with its fascinating narrow streets and half-timbered houses that have stood since the Middle Ages. Enjoy a GUIDED WALK that includes the beautiful marketplace with its renaissance-style Town Hall—built in 1608—and the "pointed house," built in 1416. Wine growers in this area look after Germany's largest expanse of vineyards, the most celebrated of the vintages being the Bernkasteler Doktor. During your free time this afternoon you might like to visit the Moselle Wine Museum. This evening enjoy a TASTING of some of these well-loved German wines. (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
This morning, sail through the dramatic RHINE GORGE, the most beautiful stretch of the Rhine. Here, ancient castles stand sentry on lofty cliffs rising 400 feet above the waters. Cruise past the legendary rock of the Lorelei, where echoes of enchanted siren song lured unwitting sailors to their doom. In Rüdesheim, the quintessential Rhine Valley wine town, visit SIEGFRIED'S MECHANICAL MUSICAL INSTRUMENT MUSEUM, where you'll see and hear a large collection of self-playing calliopes, mechanical violins, and music boxes from the 18th to the early 20th centuries. Enjoy a SPECIAL TREAT, then there's free time to pick up some souvenirs on the narrow, cobblestoned Drosselgasse, where colorful flowers, open-air wine gardens, and live music add to the festive atmosphere. (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
On the banks of the Main River you find cultural gems of small towns, many of them tucked away behind defensive walls and towered gates. With half-timbered houses, narrow streets, and medieval town centers, these picturesque Bavarian villages are a photographer's delight. Join your Local Guide to experience one of these towns on a GUIDED WALK. (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
Relax on board this morning as you cruise the Main River. This afternoon, arrive in Würzburg. Surrounded by verdant hillside vineyards, Würzburg, the "Pearl of the Romantic Road," makes an immediate impression with imposing Fortress Marienberg perched above town and the 15th-century Alte Mainbrücke (Old Main Bridge). On your GUIDED SIGHTSEEING TOUR, visit the magnificent baroque BISHOP'S RESIDENZ, home to the largest ceiling fresco ever painted. Then, there's time to relax, do some shopping, or stop in a Konditorei for a mouth-watering pastry and a cup of coffee—a German afternoon tradition. (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
Enjoy another pleasant morning of sailing before you arrive in medieval Bamberg in the early afternoon. The town is the former residence of one of Germany's most powerful imperial dynasties and today a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Your included GUIDED WALK takes in its historic center, with the great 13th-century Romanesque cathedral and the fascinating Altes Rathaus (Old Town Hall)—built on an island in the middle of the Regnitz River when the bishop refused to give the townspeople land for a town hall! (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
Early this morning, arrive in Nuremberg and after breakfast, drive to Munich, the capital of Bavaria. With its historical museums, splendid English Garden, traditional cafés, and delightful shops, Munich has plenty to see and do. A GUIDED TOUR will show you the highlights of this fascinating city, including Nymphenburg Palace, summer residence of the Bavarian monarchs; MARIENPLATZ with its Old and New Town Halls; and the gothic Frauenkirche, a prominent landmark for Munich. Then, enjoy time on your own in this vibrant city. Watch the famous Glockenspiel, which recreates a royal wedding from the 16th century; linger at an outdoor café; visit St. Peter's, the oldest church in town; or maybe relax alongside the locals at one of the many Biergärten or breweries to sample one of the Bavarian beer specialties. Return to your ship in the afternoon. (Breakfast, Dinner)
This morning the choice is yours— join a Certified Local Guide for a NUREMBERG RALLY GROUNDS tour, or a GUIDED SIGHTSEEING of the nearby town of Roth. This delightful town, with its half-timbered houses and market square, is also an industrial center for textile manufacturing. Take pictures of Schloss Ratibor, an ancient hunting lodge, built in 1535, with a most picturesque inner courtyard. (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
Arrive in Regensburg today. Dating back to the time of the Celts around 500 BC, Regensburg is one of Germany's best-preserved medieval cities. Established during the Holy Roman Empire and the only German city not bombed during WWII, Regensburg has at least 1,300 listed buildings of "historic interest." Architectural highlights of your GUIDED WALK include the Altes Rathaus (Old Town Hall), built in the 13th century, and Porta Pretoria, gates to an ancient Roman fort built in 179 AD. Wander through the city's lanes and alleys to discover the many mansions with high towers. Wealthy families built these towers to emphasize their status and wealth during the Middle Ages, and many still remain today. Walk across the 12th-century Steinerne Brücke (Stone Bridge), the oldest of its kind in Germany. Grab a beer and enjoy an included SNACK at the Historische Wurstküche (Old Sausage Kitchen), one of Germany's oldest restaurants. Here—where the locals congregate—feel the vibrant atmosphere and take in the remarkable views along the river. Before dinner, we'll introduce you to some of Germany's FAMOUS BEERS! (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
This morning, dock in Passau. Uniquely located where the Inn, Ilz, and Danube Rivers converge, Passau is a maze of narrow cobblestone streets lined with beautiful patrician houses. St. Stephen's Cathedral, a masterpiece of Italian baroque architecture, houses one of the world's largest church organs with 17,774 pipes. Take in the highlights on the included GUIDED WALK. Alternatively, choose from several full-day optional excursions while your ship continues to sail into Austria. Rejoin your vessel in the late afternoon. (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
This morning, enjoy a GUIDED VISIT of Melk's magnificent 11th-century BENEDICTINE ABBEY, one of Europe's largest monasteries. The abbey houses an ornate library with over 80,000 printed books and 2,000 manuscripts. Words cannot describe the splendor of the church with its frescoed ceilings, stunning high altar, marble statues, and 210-foot-high cupola. Then, cruise through the picturesque Wachau Valley. Pass the magnificent baroque Stiftskirche with its blue façade, the landmark of Dürnstein, arriving in Vienna this evening. Known as the "City of Music," it inspired the creative genius of Mozart, Beethoven, and Strauss. An optional concert is available tonight. (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
Once the center of the mighty Habsburg Empire, Austria's magical capital on the blue Danube is a showcase of gilded architecture. This is home to the lavish Hofburg Imperial Palace complex with its Vienna Boys' Choir and dazzling Lipizzaner stallions; the neo-renaissance Vienna Opera House; and awe-inspiring St. Stephen's Cathedral—plus, countless other sights shown to you by your Local Guide during your included CITY TOUR. Shop in the delightful pedestrian Kärntnerstrasse, and be sure to take a break and enjoy a piece of decadent Sachertorte or Apfelstrudel in one of the classic Viennese coffee houses, historic institutions that helped shape Viennese culture! In the late afternoon, leave Vienna for Budapest. (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
Spanning the banks of the Danube, Budapest is one of Eastern Europe's liveliest cities. Whether you're seeing the sights, shopping for handcrafted embroidery or Herend porcelain, or basking in the coffee house culture over a rich cream cake in the renowned Gerbeaud Café, Budapest's unique energy is positively palatable. On your GUIDED SIGHTSEEING TOUR, see Heroes Square as well as the massive hilltop castle complex with its remarkable Fishermen's Bastion and 11th-century Matthias Church, the coronation spot of several Hungarian monarchs. Be sure to take note of the city's eight bridges—many famous sights in and of themselves—which connect ancient Buda on the right bank with Pest on the left. You may even want to walk across Chain Bridge, built in 1849 and a symbol of Budapest. Perhaps visit St. Stephen's Basilica; shop at the Great Market Hall and purchase paprika at one of its 180 vendor stalls; wander around the Royal Palace grounds; or stroll along Váci utca, the main shopping street. (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner)
Your vacation ends with breakfast this morning. (Breakfast)
2012 ushered in another exciting Suite Ship® cruising along Europe's glorious rivers. The Avalon Visionary delivers an intimate setting, along with two full decks of suites featuring Wall-to-Wall Panoramic Windows that transform the living space into a unique Open-Air Balcony®. With 200 square feet, Panorama Suites are more than 30% larger than the industry standard, giving you the rare opportunity to wake each morning to the enchanting scenery and fresh breezes. Onboard amenities include complimentary computer use in public areas and Wi-Fi access, an expanded Fitness Center, and a spacious Sky Deck with premium lounge chairs, shade system, whirlpool, and the delightful Sky Bistro. See ship details below and view all Avalon Visionary Europe river cruises.
51-57 Rue De CourcellesParis, France
Grand chandeliers; plenty of seating for conversations in the lobby; high tech conference rooms awash with natural light.
19 Rue Du Comm.MouchotteParis 14, France
Free Wifi
This plush 953 room hotel offers a perfect base in the city's chic artistic hub. Free Wi-Fi access is available in all the guestrooms and public areas of the hotel. A fitness room, contemporary style restaurant with traditional French cuisine and a trendy lobby lounge serving drinks, snacks and cocktails complete the amenities.
Apaczai Csere Janos utca 12-14Budapest, Hungary
Few would argue the InterContinental Budapest is in the city's best location: right on the Danube across from Castle Hill and the Royal Palace. With the Chain Bridge and the Parliament just steps away, there's no shortage of superb sightseeing opportunities. The Váci Utca shopping street, Central Market Hall and the Gellért Baths are also nearby.
The following optional excursions are examples only for this vacation. These may or may not be offered, and availability is subject to days of operation and seasonality. Please select a departure date to view optional excursions and pricing for a specific date (due to currency fluctuation, pricing shown is subject to change until purchased).
Walking tour through the major sights of the Nazi Past of this city.
Price Range: $
Roth town was first mentioned in documents in the year 1060 already, but became important when Huguenots from Lyon settled down in Roth and brought their specialized knowledge about making wires with them. Due to the favorable location of Roth - especially due to the access of the railway in 1849 - the Leonean production flourished in the city.
The Danube Gorge has both a gentle and a strange beauty. In a magnificent show of force, the Danube has carved its way through the Swabian Alb to create a stunning landscape - a wild, romantic stretch of river with sheer cliffs rising over 300 feet out of the water.
Price Range: $$
After a relaxing sailing morning you will sail through Passau - the "Three-Rivers-City" is really one of a kind. Witness the natural spectacle of the confluence of three rivers: the Danube, Inn and Ilz.
This tour takes you along the footsteps of Maria von Trapp and her famous family, while taking in local historical sights both from the city of Salzburg and also the picturesque Lakes and Mountains region along the way. An experienced guide will accompany you throughout the tour giving you all the information you need to really appreciate this magical movie. How does the movie match up with reality? Come with us and find out.
Travel in southern Bohemia and enjoy a visit of the historic towns of Cesky Krumlov and Ceske Budejovice
Enjoy an unforgettable concert in one of the city's elegant concert halls.
Visit magnificent Schönbrunn Palace, a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
The famous village of Grinzing in the green suburbs of Vienna is dotted with villas, parks, vineyards and of course ¿ Heurigen wine taverns with their famous courtyards and gardens among the linden and chestnuts trees.
The Hungarian capital is known for its splendid views accentuated by the romance of illumination. Let the unique atmosphere of this magnificent city enchant you.
Enjoy a genuine countryside experience only 30 minutes away from the capital. Stroll through the stunning vineyards of Etyek, enjoy the fascinating landscape of the youngest and the fastest developing wine region of Hungary.
Travel back in time with your guide; join a short coach trip along the Danube embankment with a short walk to one of the hidden treasures of Budapest, the House of Hungarian Art Nouveau.
There is no better way to explore Budapest than with its food and drinks. Enjoy a cultural walking and tasting tour starts off at The Central Market Hall
Trier has an extensive Roman heritage. Roman emperors, bishops, electors and ordinary people alike have made this city what it is today.
Trier has many different aspects - as you might expect for a city that is more than 2,000 years old. Anyone with an eye for history and heritage will be deeply impressed by Trier's Roman and medieval buildings.
Drive through the majestic countryside of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg and enjoy an expertly guided tour of Luxembourg City.
There is no better way to feel like a Parisian than riding the metro, a symbol of the city. For the last two decades the Marais District has established itself as one of the most chic areas of Paris full of wonderful restaurants and vintage shopping.
Experience Montmatre, one the of most artistic and picturesque district in Paris.
Celebrating a birthday or anniversary while you're cruising? Add an Avalon Celebration Package to your vacation. You can make your special day even more memorable with special touches ranging from flowers to a private cocktail reception.
15 Day River Cruise from Remich to Budapest
per person without air*
19 Day River Cruise from Budapest to Paris
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Top Quality
DetailsLoyalty Program
DetailsFree Device Upgrade
Details90 Day Warranty
Details30 Day Return Policy
Details24/7 Customer Service
DetailsFind the Nearest VaporFi Location
VaporFi Stores
All VaporFi stores carry the full VaporFi line of products including an e-Liquid Bar staffed with skilled Vapetenders.
South Beach, FL
Miami Beach, FL 33139
& Special Offers
South Miami, FL
Miami, FL 33156
& Special Offers
Miami, FL
Miami, FL 33145
& Special Offers
Kendall, FL
(Between Macy's and Nordstrom)
Miami, FL 33156
& Special Offers
Homestead, FL
Homestead, FL 33034
& Special Offers
Miramar, FL
Miramar, FL 33025
& Special Offers
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33306
& Federal Hwy.)
& Special Offers
Sunrise, FL
(American Signature Wing)
Sunrise, FL 33323
& Special Offers
Sunrise, FL
(Burlington Coat Factory Wing)
Sunrise, FL 33323
& Special Offers
Brandon, FL
(Between Dillards & Center CT)
Brandon, FL 33511
& Special Offers
Tampa, FL
(Between Center CT & Macy's)
Tampa, FL 33625
& Special Offers
Clearwater, FL
(Upper Level - Center Court)
Clearwater, FL 33761
& Special Offers
Orlando, fl
Orlando, FL 32817
& Special Offers
Orlando, fl
Orlando, FL 32812
& Special Offers
Nesconset, NY
Nesconset, NY 11767
& Special Offers
Columbus, OH
Columbus, OH 43026
& Special Offers
Columbus, OH
Columbus, OH 43240
& Special Offers
Columbus, OH
Columbus, OH 43202
& Special Offers
Columbus, OH
Columbus, OH 43230
& Special Offers
Grove City, OH
Grove City, OH 43123
& Special Offers
Reynoldsburg, OH
Reynoldsburg, OH 43068
& Special Offers
Dayton, OH
Dayton, OH 45459
& Special Offers
Philadelphia, PA
Philadelphia, PA 19147
& Special Offers
Washington DC
Washington DC, 20007
& Special Offers
Knoxville, TN
Knoxville, TN 37919
& Special Offers
Arlington, TX
Arlington, TX 76006
& Special Offers
Houston, TX
Houston, TX 77077
& Special Offers
Alexandria, VA
Alexandria, VA, 22303
& Special Offers
Arlington, VA
Arlington VA, 22204
& Special Offers
Roanoke, VA
Roanoke, VA 24019
& Special Offers
Woodbridge, VA
Woodbridge, VA 22192
& Special Offers
VaporFi Express Locations
VaporFi Express locations are our "Store-Within-a-Store" concept. These satellite locations are located inside other retail stores and carry the most popular VaporFi items and our most popular e-liquid blends. NOTE: There is no vapor bar or custom blending at these locations.
downtown miami, fl
The Village Humidor
Mary Brickell Village - 1st Level
(Next to Rosa Mexicana)
900 South Miami Avenue
Miami, FL 33130
downtown miami, fl
Bayside cigars
401 Biscayne Blvd.
Unit S129
Miami, FL 33132
coconut grove, fl
Coco Cigar
3015 Grand Ave
Miami, FL 33133
hallandale beach, fl
Royal Cigars
Gulfstream Park
(across from 3 Forks)
601 Silks Run
Hallandale Beach, FL 33009
pompano beach, fl
Let's Vape
2661 E Atlantic Blvd
Pompano Beach, FL 33062
Saugus, MA
Vapor Zone
184 Broadway
Saugus, MA 01901
Danvers, MA
Vapor Zone (Next to RMV)
100 Independence Way
Danvers, MA 01901
Ozark, MO
Whiskey River Market
1401 W South St
Ozark, MO 65721
Charleston, SC
Modern Vapor Company
2000 Sam Rittenberg Blvd.
Suite 122
Charleston, SC 29407
Spring, TX
Spring Cypress E Cigarettes & Vapors
4305 Spring Cypress Rd
Spring, TX 77388
Cheyenne, WY
Cool River Wine & Spirits
5225 Yellowstone Rd.
Cheyenne, WY 82009
Rolling Meadows, IL
Habana Cigar House
2215 Algonquin Rd.
Rolling Meadows, IL 60008
Farmington, MI
The Johnny Weekend Company
31632 Grand River Ave.
Farmington, MI 48336
Moyock, NC
Southland Trade
141 Caratoke Highway
Moyock, NC 27958
Sturgis, SD
Ranch Mart - Sturgis
2620 Lazelle
Sturgis, SD 57785
Sundance, WY
Fresh Start-Sundance
522 Cleveland
Sundance, WY 82729
Rapid City, SD
Ranch Mart - Valley
3888 East Hwy 44
Rapid City, SD 57703
Rapid City, SD
Fresh Start
3275 Campbell St
Rapid City, SD 57701
Spearfish, SD
Fresh Start - Spearfish (#28)
2728 1st Avenue
Spearfish, SD 57783
North Charleston , SC
Carolina Vape Zone
8410 Rivers Ave Ste F
North Charleston , SC 29406
Liguanea Plaza
134 Old Hope Rd.
Kingston, Jamaica
Fairview Town Centre
Montego Bay, Jamaica
Trinidad and Tobago
Just Vape
Trincity Mall
(Next to RBC Bank)
Lima, Peru
Centro Comercial
Jr. Monterrey 373
Caminos del Inca
Chacarilla, Surco
(51) 1 4468658
Santa Rosa, CA
The Cheshire Club Vapor Boutique
2074 Armory DR
Santa Rosa, CA 95401
30-Day Money Back Guarantee
This policy is for online purchases via VaporFi.com. For the return policy on purchases made at a VaporFi store, please contact individual store. Whether or not you are the adventurous type, we never want to leave you feeling burned, so when you purchase any of our products, aside from e-liquids, keep calm knowing we have a 30-DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE. Don't be plagued by the "what-if's" if you want to try VaporFi products, just do it knowing you won't be forced to keep them if things don't work out.
After you purchase our products, should you find that anything fails to satisfy you work properly, or just does not meet the expectations you had, give us a call and we'll handle it.
We are very committed to serving our customers, so we back our products up 100%. We are so sure you will love them and enjoy vaping with them, we have no problems refunding if there's a problem.


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View and pay your bill online!
To login, you will need your account number, which is located in the upper left hand section of your statement. Your Username is your account number. Before you log in for the first time, you will need to call our office at (229) 468-7415 or (800) 237-7009 during regular business hours (7 a.m. - 5p.m. Monday through Friday) to setup your password.