text:
Using Technology Effectively
Teams are often so eager to get the project ball rolling that employing fundamental delivery tools or creating a delivery platform comes as an afterthought. How many times has the need for a source code control mechanism been left until late in the project? Given the typical requirement for rapid product delivery and the communication barriers of a distributed Agile team, the early establishment of the proper tools and technologies is essential.
Distributed Agile teams typically rely heavily on tools to facilitate communication and the broadcasting of ideas. Begin by picking the best tool for the job. To quote the philosopher Abraham Maslow, "If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as if it were a nail" (Krym, 2009). Email might not be the best mechanism to share documentation, so look for a better solution such as a shared drive or SharePoint. XPlanner is an excellent open-source project planning and tracking tool for Agile projects (specifically XP) and SVN has shown itself to be a versatile open-source source code control application. Furthermore, don't be afraid to experiment and discover what works and what doesn't work during the Retrospective.
A common Retrospective item is the distributed team having environmental issues, e.g., the onshore and offshore have different system setups or connectivity issues. Achieving a solid distributed environment is a critical success factor. These types of issues, no matter the difficulty, must be resolved. If they are left to fester, the project will possibly require an enormous unplanned time commitment and the team will become increasingly frustrated. For example, I performed an analysis of the team's velocity and found that over the past few Iterations the velocity had sharply declined. I looked back to the Retrospectives and found a reoccurring and, at this point, an ignored issue: offshore network connectivity problems (the offshore would be randomly kicked off the network and lose unsaved data). With some elbow grease the network connectivity problems were resolved, thereby restoring the velocity to an upward trend and removing a painful offshore frustration.
Every culture has its own accepted practices, social norms and ways of respecting authority. It is important to realize that Agile's practice of open communication and team member equality might be daunting for some. Malcolm Gladwell in Outliers: The Story of Success, points out that we all have "tendencies and assumptions and reflexes handed down to us by the history of the community we grew up in." Certain cultures are more deferential towards authority, and thus don't contradict a superior (Gladwell, 2008). Gladwell provides an example of deferential attitude by quoting the Korean linguist Ho-min Shon:
You may find that during the Joint Stand-Ups, some offshore members might not be comfortable giving their status or voicing a dissenting opinion. Their local manager/tech lead might provide the status or answer questions on the whole offshore team's behalf. I once asked, via email, an offshore developer a question, and instead of responding back directly, the developer responded to his local manager, who responded to his onshore manager, who finally responded to me. Given this, it is the duty of the ScrumMaster or manager to help all team members act pro-actively and voice their opinions. Attempt to assuage their discomfort by creating a safe and open environment where dissenting opinions, new ideas and participation are not only welcome but also expected. Push back if you see the team passively acquiescing. Make sure every individual speaks his or her task estimation and you may well find that the consensus wasn't a consensus after all. Ensuring everyone has a voice will not only strengthen the team but is also conducive to a well-adjusted work environment.
Respect for the traditions and practices of your team's culture can also go a long way. For example, scheduling a Demo on Diwali, a major Indian Holiday in October/November, is disrespectful and will irk the offshore team. On the other hand, remembering and asking what their plans are for the holiday shows respect, understanding of the culture and creates a stronger team bond. Try it and you may even be treated to some wonderful Indian Diwali sweets.
As we have seen, the removal of communication roadblocks is key to managing a successful distributed Agile environment. The Agile process is naturally flexible, being able to adapt and improve as necessary. However, Agile is a well-defined process with practices resulting from the lessons learned of thousands upon thousands of Agile projects. When appropriate, replace rather than remove Agile practices. Find the root cause of an issue and look for an alternative practice (Miller, 2008).
Agile greatly facilitates frequent communication and feedback, a sense of ownership, and team building. Applying Agile to a distributed environment creates a unique set of challenges, primarily around communication. However, these challenges can be overcome through forethought, structure and diligence. By following the guidelines outlined in this article "Effectively Managing Distributed Agile Teams" a high functioning and successful distributed Agile team can be achieved. To quote the early 20th century oil baron J. Paul Getty, "The formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil."
Brooks, F. P. (1995). The Mythical Man-Month: Essays on Software Engineering, Anniversary Edition. Addison-Wesley Professional.
Carnegie, D. (1937). How To Win Friends and Influence People. Simon & Schuster.
Fowler, M. (2006, July 18). Using an Agile Software Process with Offshore Development.
Gladwell, M. (2008). a href="http://www.amazon.com/Outliers-Story-Success-Malcolm-Gladwell/dp/0316017922 ">Outliers: The Story of Success. Little, Brown and Company.
Krym, N. (2009, February 05). Using Agile with Offshore.
Manifesto, A. (2001). Manifesto for Agile Software Development. Retrieved from The Agile Manifesto: http://agilemanifesto.org/
Miller, A. (2008, October). Distributed Agile Development at Microsoft Patterns & Practices
Schwaber, K. (2003). Agile Project Management With Scrum. Microsoft Press.
Shore, J., & Warden, S. (2008). The Art of Agile Development.
Yourdon, E. (1999). Death March: The Complete Software Developer's Guide to Surviving 'Mission Impossible' Projects. Prentice Hall.
Understanding Cultural Differences
A Final Thought
For More Information


text: Brownstoner hears that three masked men robbed Clinton Hill's Choice Meat Market at gunpoint last night at closing time. No one was hurt, but the outcome wasn't as fortunate over in Crown Heights, where the Daily News reports that 68-year-old Mervyn Johnson was shot dead outside of his home after leaving his bakery, Merv's. And here we were hoping that botch job with the bag of dough had put thugs off this sort of thing. [Brownstoner]

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Full profile →'">
The author is a Forbes contributor. The opinions expressed are those of the writer.
I was on the phone with a saleswoman who talked my ear off about technical specifications in which I had no interest. I just wanted to buy her product and be done with it. In fact, I didn't even care about her product, but I was extremely interested in how I could use the product to accomplish a very important goal. My underlying objective was all that mattered in my mind. After 30 minutes on the phone with me, she still had no clue what my real intention was, even though I tried to explain it several times. She didn't ask a single question about what I was trying to achieve. I finally ended the call in frustration, without purchasing anything from her.
That scene is played out in countless customer interactions daily. If you want to increase your business development success, you must discover the primary drivers that are motivating buyers. This requires you to stop pushing for the close and start getting at what really matters to the customer.
Talking too much means you're not listening enough. Fortunately, the act of listening can instantly be triggered by questioning—so you are in complete control. Ask the right questions, and your prospects will literally give you everything you need to help them succeed, which happens to be the same everything you need to get the deal and bring revenue to your company. Concentrate more on the asking/listening, and you will get more of the closing/earning.
What's more, the rewards will come naturally and comfortably. If you are not feeling natural and comfortable in your client contacts, you are neither asking the right questions nor listening enough. And if you're not listening enough, you're talking too much.
Business Case
Screenflex is a company whose leaders have learned how to listen to customers. "All of our success has come as a result of asking a bunch of questions and taking customers' answers seriously," says Rich Maas, VP and co-founder. "The main question we insist our salespeople ask centers around what our customers are trying to accomplish."
Maybe as entrepreneurs, we should be listening to Screenflex. Although they started out providing portable room dividers to a small niche market of churches, they now boast a worldwide sales and distribution network that serves customers in the church, hospitality, convention, education, government and corporate markets.
This customer-centric approach of listening is simple, yet powerful: Two ears, one mouth! Now, you do the math, and increase your accomplishments through listening more and talking less.
Do you know of entrepreneurs who have exhibited a crucial characteristic necessary for success? I'd like to write about them. Contact me directly at firstname.lastname@example.com


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The Assembly- From 2-14-16
I've tried this blog thing before and to be honest i'm terrible at it. Really truly terrible. It is, however, my aim to be a better pastor than I have been and to provide some more resources for those who are part of our body and for those who, though now far off, may wish to keep in step with what we are learning. That being said, I will do my best to post a synopsis of each weekly message here for your enjoyment and edification.
I have been preaching for the last five months or so through the book of Matthew. This came about after six straight years through the Old Testament. We have not finished the OT but have made it all the way through the kingly reign of Solomon and his writings. I really wanted a slight change of pace and so we are tackling the gospel of Matthew now. However, the last two Sundays have been spent on what it means to be the body of Christ, the ekklesia, the assembly. (what most of us call the church).
The Four 56 (where I serve as one of the teaching elders) is now moving away from the word "church". We don't find it to be offensive or sinful in the least and this statement isn't meant to push you away from the use of the word "church" in your own vocabulary. Simply put, ekklesia (the Greek word we render "church") has never meant church. It means quite literally "assembly". Simple as that. I do think it matters a little bit since when people ask, "What church do you attend" we speak more of locations, programs, and denominations than we do the purpose for which we meet. An assembly gathers for a common purpose. An assembly gathers with common interests and intents. I can travel half way around the world and join my dear friend Ryan in his assembly in Australia and be completely at home because they assemble for the same purpose that we at The Four 56 assemble. I don't have to get caught up in how their church may differ from mine because at the core the reason for the assembly is the same. Furthermore, in the Greek version of the Old Testament (The Septuagint) ekklesia is never translated "church" but always translated "assembly". We also see the word ekklesia translated as assembly three times in the New Testament. Like I said, I am not condemning the use of the word church, it has a cultural meaning to be sure, but for our group we are trying to move more to the use of "assembly" along with its implications. It is the belief of our staff that this subtle move will help to break down dividing walls, at least within our own hearts, between us and the other assemblies that congregate here in San Angelo. I certainly don't feel there should be any division over the use of one word or another. I simply state to you where I am at the writing of this blog so you can understand why from this point forward I choose to use the word "assembly" when speaking of our body of believers.
Thoughts from my sermon February 14, 2016. (you can listen to the sermon "The Church Part 1″ here and yes I do find the humor in the sermon title)
POINT ONE: It is clear from Scripture all believers make up the universal body of Christ and yet there are individual assemblies of believers in various homes and towns around the world.
"To the assembly of God that is in Corinth" 1 Corinthians 1:2
"The assemblies of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Prisca, together with the assembly in their house, send you hearty greetings in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 16:19
"Paul an apostle… to the assemblies of Galatia" Galatians 1:1-2
I will not spend more time here trying to make the case that just as all people of faith are part of a universal assembly so we also who gather together in smaller groups are equally an assembly and body. It is clear from Scripture and you are welcome to listen to the sermon.
POINT TWO: It is clear from Scripture (and abundantly from 1 Corinthians 12) the body is made up of many parts and each part (person) is gifted by the Holy Spirit with certain spiritual blessings. These varieties in the spiritual gifts are for the purpose mutual edification and care. It is silly to believe I as the pastor, gifted in preaching, should also be personally responsible for every other gift mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12, Ephesians 4, and 1 Peter 4. Those who, through faith, have entered into the family of God and have found themselves part of The Four 56 are each gifted by God for the health and wholeness of the assembly. In this case for the health and wholeness of the assembly known as The Four 56. With an estimated 15,000 people in church gatherings here in San Angelo it would be foolish to think my gift of preaching is for all of them. It would be equally foolish for me to believe i've been gifted in preaching and to not use my gifting for the equipping and strengthening the saints who choose to assemble with us week after week.
That being said, if you are a faithful follower of Jesus you have been gifted by God in such a way that your gift is useful and necessary within the body of believers you call your church home. Being part of the body/assembly of Christ is not a passive thing. If we believe only pastors/teachers are called upon to equip the saints we have failed to function as a healthy body in the same way that if only my mouth worked but my hands ceased to respond to the commands of my brain it would be an indication of deep sickness within me. If you are part of an assembly and you could be lifted out without being missed then you are not operating as part of the body like you should. You have been gifted and those of us around you need you as much as you need us.
POINT THREE: When i was in college i was part of at least four different church ministries. Partly because there was a girl i liked at one of them. Partly because friends of mine taught at some of the others. Since I spent my time being connected to three or four assemblies I was unable to ever fully be part of a single assembly and never developed any depth of affection or relationship with any single group of people. There are certainly many assemblies gathering in your community, and ours, that faithfully love Jesus and proclaim him. There are certainly things you prefer about one over another. There are certainly positive and negative things about each of these assemblies. But if we continue to split our affection between multiple assemblies it will be difficult for us to ever be fully a part of any assembly. My hand, barring a tragic accident with a chainsaw, will always be my hand and fully part of my body. My hand can not be part of two bodies at once. It just isn't how the body is made to function. Love multiple assemblies, pray for them, encourage them, but be fully plugged in to one assembly. Choose to be invested somewhere. Most of the time people split themselves between assemblies either so they don't have to fully be integrated or because they are treating the body of Christ like a buffet, picking and choosing only those things they like best.
There is a biblical model for individual assemblies throughout history.(with multiple assemblies in one community or region)
As a Christian you have been gifted by God not to be passive but as a useful and necessary part of the assembly of saints.
It will be difficult, if not impossible, for you to be part of multiple assemblies using your gifts as God has designed.
Find an assembly, get plugged in, let your gifts be used, and build a legacy.
Why Kickstarter Rejected My Project and How You Can Help
First of all, let me say that i think Kickstarter is a really amazing opportunity for people who need to raise funds for their various efforts. I have no problem with the company.
Still they rejected my project. You can't really blame them. They apparently have a policy on not allowing any projects through that deal with sexuality. I can understand that. It could put them in weird situations if they just let anything through of a sexual nature. My two new books deal very clearly with sex. Of course the purpose of my books are to guard people and to help people treat sex as holy. I want people to understand that God made sex for a purpose. I want those who are single to honor the marriage bed and keep it holy long before they find themselves there. I want those who are married to enjoy their spouse according the the biblical and God honoring plan for the marriage bed. I want all people to be protected from sexual sin that can cripple and undermine marriage. I want marriages to be holy and satisfying. I want people to be free from shame and guilt. Unfortunately for me, Kickstarter can't make an exception for me just because my intents are noble.
However, I still need the nearly $12,000 it is going to take to get this project completely funded. So here is my Kickstarter form along with our video that we made and i want to ask you to help us get this project off the ground. (You will have to scroll down to see the video)
$4000 will be used for the layout, design and editing process. $8000 will be used to purchase the first run of each book and cover the shipping required to send them all to you. My family doesn't have the ability to do this project without your help.
Here are the incentives i can offer for your donations. TO MAKE A DONATION SIMPLY GO HERE. BE SURE TO WRITE THE APPROPRIATE PACKAGE NUMBER IN THE SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS. Incentives will be shipped out in the middle of July when the books become available.
*$12 PACKAGE ONE: you get a copy of EITHER the Red Band (if you are married) or The Green Band (if you are Single)
*$15 PACKAGE TWO: you get a signed copy of EITHER the Red Band (if you are married) or The Green Band (if you are single)
*$20 PACKAGE THREE: you get both of the new books.
*$25 PACKAGE FOUR: You get both of the new books signed and sent right to you.
*$50 PACKAGE FIVE: You get both of the new books signed and shipped to you and you also get your very own kit to host a murder mystery party for up to 21 people. Yes, i am a nerd. Yes, I write my own murder mystery parties. Yes, they are epic. Yes, i will help make sure that when you use the Traveling Circus Murder Mystery kit you too will have a blast. I wrote this one over a year ago and would love for you to enjoy it. It comes to you via email and i'm available for questions if you need help getting your party going.
*$75 PACKAGE SIX: You will get one of each (6) of my books signed. The original LOVE NOTES. The Shadow: Not Mere Words: LOVE NOTES second edition. The Red Band: The Green Band:
*$100 PACKAGE SEVEN: You get each of my six books signed and you also get your name mentioned in the "thank you" section of the two new books.
*$150 PACKAGE EIGHT: You get 16 of my books signed and shipped directly to you. You can pick any combination that you desire. You get your name mentioned in the "thank you" section of the new books.
*$250 PACKAGE NINE: You get a piece of original artwork shipped directly to you. Yes, i was an art major in college. Yes, i still paint. When it comes time for you to collect your piece of art i will send you images of the 10-15 i have available and you will get your pick. I will not be able to do custom works. Sorry. You will also get The Red Band and The Green Band, signed and shipped to you with the painting. You get your name mentioned in the "thank you" section of the new books
*$750 PACKAGE TEN: (I HAD TO LIMIT THIS ONE AND WE HAVE SOLD OUT) I will come to your church and do a two day one night event of your choosing. I will pay for my travel and my hotel. I just want to come serve you. If you are outside of Texas i will need mileage paid. Inside of Texas? I'm there. We will confirm that your event fits in with my current calendar schedule and we will make your event happen. You get your name mentioned in the "thank you" section of the new books. (SOLD OUT!)
Thanks for helping me out and thanks for spreading the word for me.
UPDATE: 2-27-14 As of today we are 43% funded. I would be more than happy to have you still support this project but unfortunately i can no longer add your name to the "thank you" section of the new book as it is now officially out of my hands and with the publisher. Thanks again.
The Standard of Parenting-
First of all, you should know that this isn't intended to give you a specific lists of things you need to be doing to be an effective parent. Most of the time people write those things and are simply expressing what worked for them. I only have two kids but they are completely different from one another. What works for one of my kids doesn't work for the other so how in the world could i expect to give someone a set of rules for their children?
That's just silly.
Second, it has dawned on me that only about three people a year actually ask my opinion about anything, so for me to run off at the mouth in an effort to "enlighten" you to the conviction that i just gained today (and will be done with in six months as i move on to the next thing) is just arrogant and silly.
This past week on FB a Christian, husband, father, author posted, "All those "how to" articles on social media telling you 10, 12, and 15 ways to be a better parent/spouse/Christian will destroy you".
I agree with him. (you can find his bloghere. And his book here. He is a better writer than i will likely ever be and i'm excited for you to know him a little bit)
So this blog will have nothing to do with how much TV you let your kids watch or whether or not you spank. I don't care how many vegetables you give your kids or if they aren't allowed candy. I couldn't care less if you do Santa Clause or not and i'm not the least bit interested on your ideas of Halloween. I will not tell you how to sneak broccoli into brownies (because i'd rather add peanut butter) or blast you for rocking your kids to sleep (or never rocking them to sleep).
You do you.
Whatever that is.
I'm here for one reason: To turn Christian parents to the heart of God in parenting and away from the trivial things.
"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that i command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9
There you have it. Parents, love God with every ounce of who you are and diligently teach them to your children with every opportunity you have in life. That about sums it up.
Train up your children in the things of God. That is all.
Too often as parents we put standards and "laws" on our children that the Bible doesn't. We hold them to impossible things that the Bible never mentions and we make them disobedient because we have set unrealistic expectations on them. Children are commanded to submit to and honor their parents, but when we add to their duties of obedience things that Christ has never proclaimed then we make life (and obedience) unduly cumbersome.
Asher is my oldest. He is four. When he was 16 months old and moving to the toddler bed we would often hear him up and around his room gathering as many Hot Wheels into his bed as he could. (upwards of 50)
Night one: I went into his room and told him that was unacceptable. I removed the cars.
Night two: I went into his room and told him that it was still unacceptable. I removed the cars. I informed him that he would be spanked if he did it again. (I added a law to his life that Christ had not)
Night three: I went into his room. I reminded him that it was unacceptable. I spanked him. I had him remove the cars from his bed.
Night four: I went into his room. I reminded him that it was unacceptable. I spanked him. I had him remove the cars from his bed. I went back to sit on the couch as he went to sleep. My heart broke. Why did i care if he slept with 1 or 50 cars? What was wrong with it? I tucked him in every night before i went to bed anyway. I could pull the cars out. I could cover him up. Why was i making something "sinful" that the Bible didn't care about at all? Why was i provoking my child to anger rather than bringing him up in the instruction of the Lord? (Eph 6:4) I got back up off the couch. I went back into his room and scooped him into my lap.
"Asher, i'm sorry. Daddy shouldn't have spanked you. You aren't disobeying God to have cars in your bed. God doesn't care if you want to have cars in your bed. I am so sorry. Will you forgive daddy?"
He nodded.
Then he lifted his head from my chest, "I can get my cars?"
I nodded.
Then i helped him put them all back in his bed.
Think about it for a moment: Cars in the bed or not in the bed do nothing to make my son more like Jesus. So why should it matter to me?
More recently my boys (Asher 4 and Ryker 3) have taken to "reading" their Bible with their mother and me in the mornings. Asher asked if he could have a marker to write in his Bible, "like Daddy does".
Day one: I said no. I mean, c'mon, kids aren't supposed to write in their books. And it would be all scribbly and incoherent.
Day two: I was writing in my Bible. Then it dawned on me. I write in every book i own. There isn't anything wrong with it. It doesn't mean someone is more holy if they don't write and less holy if they do. My boys saw me writing in my Bible and wanted to take "notes" in theirs. Why wouldn't my heart leap at that.
Day three: Asher observed Michele making triangles around every occurence of "Lord". Asher piped up, "Hmm, that's neat." He got his bible and did the best he could to make triangles on all the words he felt mattered most in that moment.
I won't battle my kids on the things that don't matter. I'll just love them.
Asher eats everything. Ryker, though he eats healthy things, only eats about 5 basic foods. So what?!
Asher always wants to play under your feet. Ryker wants to play by himself. So what?!
The other night Asher told me he wanted to be, "a bug splorer". I told him that was called an entomologist. Ryker said he wanted to be a scuba diver. I told the boys that they could be anything they wanted, do anything they wanted to do, all that mattered to me was that they love Jesus.
"Cool!" Asher shouted as he ran off to play.
Our house has a lot fewer mom and dad rules than it used to have. We just want our kids to love Jesus.
The standard of parenting is still Jesus-
The Mystery of the Scripture
I weighed 100 lbs at the beginning of my Sophomore year in high school. I wore girls jeans until I was eleven because my legs were long but my waist was tiny. I dropped the bench press bar on my face when i was 14 because I didn't have the strength to move it even an inch.
I was just a big wimp. Not much has changed.
The one area of my life that i thought i had under control was my spiritual life. I was a Christian from the time i was a little kid. I knew i wanted to preach from the time i was four. I went to church to learn. (And my junior year i went to sit behind Joni) I went to camp because i really wanted to understand God. I thought i was a Christian stud.
Until my world began to fall apart.
It was pretty typical stuff I suppose, but by the time I went to college I was clinically depressed, afraid of the dark and overcome by nightmares every night.
In February 1995 something changed. A Sunday school teacher got in my face and told me that i needed to be in the Bible everyday. I scoffed. He clearly didn't know who he was talking to. I had been in church for 19 years. I attended two youth camps a summer. I knew the Bible stories by heart and had even led a Bible study for my fellow youth senior year.
But he was right. I needed to be in the word. I never was. I didn't know it yet but I was just as much a spiritual wimp as I was a physical wimp.
That February i began to read and i haven't quit yet.
The Bible isn't just a good idea. It is absolutely necessary in the life of a believer…not just Sunday mornings… not just the latest group Bible study curriculum and certainly not the latest Christian book by the faithful teacher/preacher.
The Bible is necessary. All by itself. Free from the trappings of popular Christianity. (There isn't anything wrong with sermons, curriculums and books on "Christian Living" but they are Not a substitute for the Bible itself)
Living in the Bible for the last 19 years has changed every single aspect of my life. It dictated how i marry and do marriage. It has shown me how to spend my money wisely. The Scripture has instilled in me how to raise my kids. The Bible is rich with ways to overcome sin and to pursue holiness. It has flooded my heart with peace. It gives me the resources to weather the storm.
We who hear the word of God and do it are the blessed ones. We are the ones who are not in danger of being knocked down. We are the ones who are firmly planted trees by rivers of water. We are the strong ones. (James 1, Matthew 7; Psalm 1)
The legacy of Christian faith, the story that inspires generations to follow hard after God, is filled with people who knew well the God they served. They held fast to the Scripture. They were/are giants in the faith.
I've looked to those men and women. I have thought that they were different from me. I thought they were better than me. Then I realized some things.
They were purchased by the same blood.
They were filled with the same Spirit.
They had their hearts set on the same hope.
They were given the same purpose.
So what made them different?
It was simple… they were weightlifters. They were dedicated godly athletes. They sacrificed sleep and meals and fellowship for knowing God better. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)
And it showed!
They changed the world through the power of Christ at work within them. They weren't self-indulgent. They condemned their earthly appetites. The word of Christ took root in their hearts and the work of Christ flowed forth from them.
I want that!
I don't want my Christian life to fade into the annals of history without so much as nod. I want to make Jesus famous! I want to know him better than I have previously thought possible. I want to love him more passionately than my heart has to this point. I want my neighbors to know Jesus and my barber. I want the manager at HEB (his name is Daniel) to want to know Jesus. I want to love my wife and kids more faithfully than i ever have. I want to be a gracious friend and a trustworthy pastor.
There is more to be had. There is more to be done.
But it must start by knowing him in the Scripture. Otherwise we leave ourselves open to every wind of doctrine, every deceitful proclamation, every fleshly whim. The Scripture makes our foundation, our pillars, our walls, our buttress, our weapon and our sustenance!
We place the word of God faithfully into our hearts and then we guard our hearts with such ferocity that the demons themselves would flee. (Proverbs 4:21-23)
We taste of the word of God and enjoy it more than honey, we find that it causes us to be more in line with God and we fill ourselves with it more intently than we would fill our pockets with gold. It warns us and keeps us straight. (Psalm 19:7-11)
We unfold it as a treasure map and it gives us insight and understanding. (Psalm 119:130)
It lights our path and indicates for us which is the right way to go. (Psalm 119:105)
The Scripture is breathed out by God himself, proclaiming Christ, and equips us for every task which lines itself up before us. (2 Timothy 3:16-17; Luke 24:44,45)
I won't be content any longer to sit on the sidelines. I will rise up in the power afforded to me through the grace and mercy of our good God. (1 Cor 15:10)
I will know him more tomorrow than i did today and for that knowledge of him i will serve him more faithfully.
I won't stay a spiritual wimp. I will get stronger. I will move from strength to strength, faith to faith and glory to glory until the day comes that i stand before my King in Zion. (Psalm 84:7; 2 Corinthians 3:18; Romans 1:16-17)
Join me-
The Long Overdue Apology
I have had this rolling around in my head for over 18 months and should have said this sooner.
It began when a friend of mine got in my face about something I said in a sermon my last day at a youth camp. It was July 2012 and i was leading a camp alongside my friend Aaron Wagner. I was closing out one of my sermons and was addressing the youth pastors and pastors that were in the audience.
I made the comment that if the pastors were basing all of their sermons off of the most recent summer block buster movie hits then they were doing something wrong. I went on to say that we as preachers aren't entertainers, but we are proclaimers of Christ.
Aaron approached me after the message and graciously corrected me. He informed me that his pastor was a very biblical teacher and that he also used movies as a frame-work for presenting the gospel story of Jesus. Then he said something to me that i've thought of nearly every day for the last 18 months; "We aren't enemies, Ryan. We are on the same side."
I took his words to heart and apologized in my closing comments at the camp the following morning.
The problem was, as usual, my pride. I love the Bible. I really do. But somewhere along the way i had come to feel that those who didn't teach the Bible in the manner i did probably didn't love the Bible enough. I was puffed up. I was thoroughly pleased with myself. My methods. My approach.
What a shame!
Then i remembered what Paul said in Philippians; "Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that i rejoice."
If Paul could feel that way about people who were preaching the gospel from impure motives then why should i be so divided over people who preach Christ faithfully but do so in different ways than I? I'm loud and animated. Some men are quiet and stationary. I love to use examples and anecdotes from Scripture, but could equally use some from my life. I don't really care for flashing lights, smoke machines or elaborate sets. But some people are gifted at creating a wonderful stage presence all while proclaiming Jesus.
Aaron was right, his pastor (whom i've never met) is not my enemy.
I'm not in competition with the other pastors in my local area.
I don't need my church plant to be more successful than yours.
I don't think people would be better off at my church instead of yours.
I don't have better insight into Jesus than any other believer being taught by the Holy Spirit.
My personality, preferences and tendencies don't establish me as a better shepherd than those who contrast me.
So, how far have i taken this?
I have friends from multiple denominations who, by the nature of their church culture, do things very different from me. But without a doubt i know that they proclaim Christ. I hang out with these men. We talk Jesus together. We digest the Bible together. We pray together and praise God together. We are separated by small things.
They use wine for communion. (We use grape juice)
They have beautifully intricate (and biblical) liturgy. (We are working on incorporating more)
They wear slacks, ties and robes. (Blue jeans and tennis shoes are my costume of choice)
Their service is limited to 55 minutes to accommodate their growing body. (ours typically runs two hours)
Some baptize infants (not for salvation but for dedication). (we give away a bible and pray for the parents)
They sing songs from centuries gone by. (so do we, but we use drums and guitars)
They use lights, smoke and incredibly beautiful stage designs. (we don't have any money to do cool things like that. But i probably wouldn't anyway just because i don't care that much)
Their sermons series have clever titles and artistic videos to introduce them. (i always forget to title my sermons and only think about cool videos when it is too late to do anything about them)
But they preach Jesus! (so do we)
They love the Bible! (so do we)
They want to see the lost saved! (so do we, but they are better at it than i am)
They want to disciple the body! (I love doing that!)
So they are not my enemies. They just aren't.
Here is where i'm at on all of this. If you preach Christ faithfully (that he is the son of God, fully God, wholly God, born of a virgin, destroying sin through the cross, purchasing people for himself through the cross, rising from the dead, saved through no one but him, ascending into heaven, coming back again to gather his church to himself)… If you preach that Jesus, i have no problem with you.
We won't always agree. We won't always do things the same. I am certain that there are things that i am doing wrong but I am growing. I know that you are missing on a point or two as well and i'll give you the grace that i so desperately need. We will hold each other accountable. We will pick one another up. We will pray for each other. We will rebuke one another. We will be forgiving. We will grow together. We will rejoice in the fruitfulness of the other and we will labor together for the name and honor of Jesus.
Thanks to Aaron i have learned new grace. I have learned new compassion. I have come to be excited about ministries that i previously felt "in competition" with. I have made new friends. I have been challenged and taught.
If i have talked down to you… discouraged you… divided myself from you… treated you as base or menial… i am so deeply sorry.
Please forgive me.
You have been more faithful than i have. You have loved better than i have. Please allow me to labor along side of you. Please allow me to rebuild the bridges that i have callously burned. I need you. I need your help. I want to serve God well and i need to learn from and share with you as i journey forward.
You will preach Christ and I will preach Christ.
We are not enemies!
Some of my favorite people who are doing ministry well in the name of Jesus that you should get to know better:
Aaron Wagner (great worship leader and wonderful rebuker)
Jed Roseberry (one of my dearest friends in college. we have recently reconnected.)
Ryan Laden (wonderful friend from college who straight up moved to Australia to preach)
Scott Donaho (friend and roommate from college. one of my oldest friends)
Micah Mariano (he and i started a church together)
Reid Johnson and Tony Doland (I love these guys so much. some of my favorite people)
Kevin Kirkland (love this guy. talented preacher and writer)
Lance Dockrey (One of the coolest guys i've ever known. He continues to make me cooler)
Ryan Connel (he and i hang out regularly because i love this guy)
BJ Stewart (He and i did our first ever camps together. wonderful worship leader)
Josh Lilly (He is planting a church right here in San Angelo and has a passion for people)
I have forgotten easily twenty guys but i have to stop now and start teaching Bible class.
I love you guys!


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Andrew Stuttaford at NRO on the murder of Theo Van Gogh and the misplaced concern about religious fundamentalism in the United States:
Amid all the weird, wild wailing in Manhattan, amid the hot air and hysteria in Hollywood, amid all the crazy-lady shrieks of mainstream-media anguish (yes, Maureen, I'm talking about you) and the banshee howling of liberal complaint, Americans heard one overarching theme from the disappointed and distraught left -- one meme, one fear, one insult that finally spoke its name. Jesusland (that's what they call it now) had won. The America of Jefferson and Madison had fallen, delivered by Karl Rove into the hands of ranting theocrats, holy rollers and the monstrous ghost of William Jennings Bryan. Writing in the New York Times, an overwrought Garry Wills had this to say:
The secular states of modern Europe do not understand the fundamentalism of the American electorate. It is not what they had experienced from this country in the past. In fact, we now resemble those nations less than we do our putative enemies.
The title of his article? "The Day the Enlightenment Went Out."
Oh really? If it was the fate of the Enlightenment for which Mr. Wills feared, he would have done better looking some 3,000 miles to his east, to lovely, wounded Amsterdam, a city once famed for its brisk, North Sea tolerance, a city that now mourns the death of an artist killed for speaking his mind. On November 2, the very day of the election that was to so sadden Garry Wills, an assassin in Amsterdam murdered the filmmaker Theo Van Gogh -- shot him, stabbed him, and then butchered him like a sacrificial sheep. Van Gogh, you see, had transgressed the code of the fanaticism that has now made its home in Holland. And for that he had to die.
Read the whole thing.
Three Dutch men were in attendance at the meetings that took me to Manila last week. Although most of our time was spent talking business, we did have a chance to briefly discuss the murder of Van Gogh and the clashes between police and Muslim extremists in The Hague. They all agreed that The Netherlands has a serious problem on its hands, and things are going to be getting much worse if actions aren't taken to address the situation. It will be fascinating to watch how the Dutch elect to tackle this problem, and may be an indicator of how the rest of Europe comes to grips with a growing threat from within.
Arnaud de Borchgrave at the The Washington Times, is calling it "a mini clash of civilizations":
Could the Netherlands be a curtain-raiser for a wider clash of civilizations in the old Continent? Hundreds of thousands of young Muslims in Europe are potential jihadis, according to European intelligence chiefs speaking not for publication. They have been warning their political masters about the tinderboxes that many Muslim communities have become. Jihadi volunteers are known to have left for Iraq from a number of Muslim slums on the outskirts of major European cities.
Many Europeans have preferred to ignore the danger from Islamic extremism in their own countries, which has been building for years. The Dutch are discovering that there's a limit to how long you can keep your head in the sand.


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Pets.ca – Pet Podcast #6 is ready for downloading or subscribing. You can download it directly by clicking the preceding link or listen to it almost immediately with the player below. This show talks about excessive territorial barking and Marko …


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Erin McCabe, Foxboro, MA — leg surgery
I broke my leg at a Patriots game on black ice in 2004. When I went in for the initial surgery, they thought the best option for me was to rod my tibia. After 9 months of continued pain, I went for a second opinion. I was told that I had a non-union tibia fracture that could be easily fixed by removing the initial rod and replacing it with a new rod, to stimulate the healing process.
But 2 years out, I continued to have constant pain and found myself on and off crutches. During this time, I had two small babies and life became very difficult. I went to seek a third opinion from one of the top doctors in Boston. He said there was some healing at the fracture site and that I should not rush to have another major surgery. less
After a third year with a broken leg I started to really push for my next surgery so that I could plan ahead for work and help with the children. I soon realized I was pregnant again and would have to wait another year. At year four, I finally decided to go in for what I hoped would be my last surgery. I went to my local hospital to have the second rod removed and we decided my next best option was to have screws, plates and a bone graft put in to heal my nonunion tibia fracture. While they were in surgery, they realized my issue was much more serious than they had expected. They found that 2.5 inches of my tibia bone had died. I was sent home that day with a full leg cast. I needed to research what my options were and realized they were very limited. That was the scariest day of my life.
Because I work in orthopedics, I was able to find the best doctor to deal with my particular issue. I was so lucky and thankful to find Dr. Rozbruch in Manhattan. I contacted him immediately and was in New York before I knew it.
Erin McCabe during treatment


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Page 10 of 11
Château Lynch-Bages, Bordeaux (France)
Bordeaux is known to produce some of the best wines in the world. But until recently, the region did not have a reputation for beautiful views or a friendly tourist experience. Lynch-Bages now offers a hotel, restaurants and shopping.
Wine to try (if you can't get there right away): Château Lynch Bages, $100 (for 2005 vintage; prices vary year to year). This wine has long been known as a high-quality Bordeaux bargain, since the price is lower due to the estate's lower rank in the 1855 classification of vineyards. But the wines over-deliver on quality, year after year.


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By: Tim DelChiaro
Abstract: News, Events and Special Offers for June 2012
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Slovenian Genealogy Society (International)
Camphill, Pennsylvania.
Society for German Genealogy in Eastern Europe
Devoted to the study of those people with German ancestry (generally of the Lutheran, Baptist, or Catholic faiths) who lived in present-day Poland (including those lands known previously as West and East Prussia, Posen, Silesia, and Pomerania), and also those people who lived in the western part of present-day Ukraine, in the old pre-World War II province of Volhynia (generally from the city of Kiev on the east to the present-day Polish border on the west, and from the city of Zhitomir on the south to the city of Kowel on the north).
The Burgenland Bunch Genealogy Group
Genealogists researching the State of Burgenland, Austria and nearby areas of Hungary.
The CroatianAmerican Club of Phoenix, Arizona
Croatians (Hrvatski Klub Croatia) is a non-profit organization founded in August of 1954, by Croatians in the Phoenix area. This club is a booming club, consisting of many generations of Croatians-Americans. This club was organized and exists in order to preserve and promote the Croatian heritage, history and culture.
The Miriam Weiner Routes To Roots Foundation
Provides research advice, information and online databases of Jewish material, archives and Judaica from Eastern European archives.
Ukranian Genealogical Society - South Jersey Chapter
West Berlin, New Jersey.
Unoffical Dvinsk Genealogy SIG
[The original link is broken. This link points to an archived copy on the Wayback Machine]
A fraternal benefits society originally for Hungarian immigrants to the United States.
Eastern Europe » Societies & Groups
34 Links


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I was excited for myself after my IC last night because we really started the conversation of digging in and it was the first time I felt my IC really understood what I was looking to get out of it. Up until now, BH (and our MC to some extent) seem to have sort of placed the why on BH's drug abuse and his withdrawal from our relationship.
So, we talked about my childhood and my parents relationship and my relationship with BH. And also how my general personality traits (low confidence, not speaking up for myself, etc) sort of contributed to it all and the origins of those traits. I really felt like we were making some progress. I'm quite certain that there was no abuse or trauma in my childhood so I'm somewhat worried about how far this will really take me, but still, it was progress.
But afterwards when I was talking to BH about it, it really doesn't seem like it makes any of it any better. When I was repeating it all back to him, it sounded to me like more excuses.
And BH's reaction... oh how I love him... He's been sticking to the why being about him. I think he was almost surprised when I told him I'm trying to dig into my why. I repeated a line from counseling where she had said something about how there are probably other couples out there where someone is a drug addict and withdrawn from the relationship and the other person has no idea, but not all people in that kind of relationship turn to cheating. That really got to him. He said he wanted to take blame. That he sees me as a "good girl" and that he tarnished me with how he treated me for so long. It seemed really hard for him to accept I am responsible for my actions. Even though we've been through this before and have said it over and over that my actions are on me and it's not his fault. I think he goes back and forth between sadness and anger and it changes how he views this part of things. But this sadness side worries me a bit.
And he's been so great in this process, the selfish part of me worries that me digging into my why is going to make him dislike me and cause him to pull away. That if I wanted to try to "get away" with this, that I could probably manipulate him into believing its his fault. That makes me so sick to type out because it's so so selfish and wrong. And I would NEVER do that. It's just something that crossed my mind.
Also, I've been thinking about whether digging into my why will ever feel "done" or if I will ever feel satisfied with it. I know it's still so early, but thinking about how long it will take to get through this is daunting. Before the A, I did have times when I felt satisfied with my life, proud of myself, and like I had my shit together. I long for that feeling and I really hope it will return someday.
the selfish part of me worries that me digging into my why is going to make him dislike me and cause him to pull away.
Have you shared this fear with him? It saddens me that he is accepting the blame for your choices. And kudos for you not slipping into that *easy out*!
Is he doing anything about his demons? If he is not, then that tells me he isn't really concerned with the fact that the reason for your betrayal needs to be addressed at everybody's level.
I don't agree that his addiction caused your A, but he needs to want to better himself, too.
Wishing you luck.
So what exactly is your "why"?
Here's what I have so far -
Some background - BH's addiction created an enormous gap between us, physically and emotionally. He started using about 1-2 years before we were engaged and I had no idea (we were HS sweethearts so together for a long time!). I was unhappy. I made him go to MC with me (on and off for around 3 years before the A), but it didn't really provide any real changes to our relationship, and his addiction got worse and worse and our relationship crumbled.
So part of my why is that I needed attention, affection, physical satisfaction that BH wasn't able to give me.
Why didn't I tell BH what I needed or work through our problems? I had, many times, and was not getting what I thought I needed. I guess I don't have a good answer for why I didn't try harder, but I had sort of given up on him.
Why didn't I just leave him? I didn't view my parents relationship as a happy one, as my mother suffered from depression and was untreated for so long so I was accustomed to 'unhappy relationships'. I had no other examples of relationships growing up. My parents also never really let me make my own decisions growing up, so I've struggled with confidence and decision making my entire adult life. This led me to sticking around in an unhappy relationship because I couldn't decide what to do with myself. (See how this all seems like I'm blaming my parents??)
Why did I need attention, affection, external validation? This one is tough for me. It also ties in to the confidence and decision making, I believe, but low-confidence doesn't feel like a good enough answer.
Thank you for asking, it feels good to write it all out.
Is he doing anything about his demons?
He's been clean for a little over a month and seems to be committed to it!
Your last reply makes me want to give you a huge cuddle, there is so much about your story that I relate to. All the feelings are the same.
The story is pretty similar too. Drugs are also involved with us but not to addiction point I don't think (he won't talk about it so I can't be sure.)
BH recently said to me "I knew you couldn't leave me, you had no money, two kids and no where to go. You were trapped, I knew that."
Heartbreaking stuff.
[This message edited by BrokenButTrying at 3:29 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]
Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.
If your WHY is all about you, and nothing he does to change can have a positive effect on your decision to remain faithful, perhaps that scares him? As in, why bother improving himself or investing in the M if nothing he changes or improves can help prevent you from straying?
IDK, maybe he takes some comfort in knowing that his positive changes can influence you to want to be his partner and stay faithful ... and your new WHYs have somewhat shattered those hopes??
Just brainstorming here. Obviously no one can answer or know what's in his brain but him.
FWIW, I do think both a WS and a BS can overthink the WHY. Sometimes, it can be a singular reason. I mean, sure, if you've got stuff to own, own it. But if you were comfortable and confident with your original why, I think it's perfectly acceptable to own that as well.
Best of luck to both of you in your continued healing!
Are you my sister? You are describing my mother to a T! My HS BF treated me horribly, but he told me he loved me - he was the only person to ever say *I love you* - so I accepted his treatment because I was soooooo wanting to be loved.
At my bridal shower (29 years ago!) my H's grandmother asked me "Are you a Republican?!?" and my mother answered FOR me. "Of course she is!" I stayed silent - partly because politics didn't even interest me in the least - but mostly because growing up I wasn't allowed to have a feeling or opinion of my own. If we dared disagree with mother, we got it trouble, hit, yelled at, silent treatment, etc etc.
I remember he leaving nasty notes to my father on the kitchen table. I remember - even to this day - she belittles him and berates him on EVERYTHING.
So sounds like we grew up in the same kind of household, but I am a BS, not a WS. So I do think your why needs to go deeper.
My H? (not the HS bf) He grew up in a Beaver Clever family. He strayed. So although I do believe FOO issues can contribute, I don't think it's the base of the why.
Sorry for rambling. I just really want you to figure it out. And I agree with the poster that said:
This might be something he should look inward about - something you both might want to discuss with the help of a counselor?
I think you nailed it about his feelings. If he takes the blame he can take control and take comfort that it won't happen again.
I struggle too with part of me blaming our M problems (which have now improved exponentially thanks to him) for the A. I'm trying to overcome it by identifying my issues, and not falling into that trap.
I honestly don't understand why it is so taboo on this site to acknowledge that there were unmet needs in a M that allowed a WS to give themselves permission to cheat (if that is the truth).
Unmet needs in a M is a widely recognized reason by many affair experts as to why a WS would make a very poor choice to cheat.
IMHO, I'm not blaming my M or my spouse for my affair. I could have chosen a healthier, more mature way to deal with the unmet needs in my M. My A was an extremely poor choice to meet unmet needs, and I own that my decision to cheat was 100% on me. I could have chosen counseling, better communication skills, honesty with my H that I was attracted to someone else. I could have read a book, prayed, immersed myself in volunteer work.
I chose an incredibly stupid, thoughtless, selfish way to deal with my feelings towards my H and my M. I wasn't brave enough to share my disappointments in my M with my own H.
I truly believe my A was an isolated incident. I have worked hard to correct my way of thinking because it's not okay to bury feelings of dissatisfaction in a relationship. It's better to be honest with your partner. The wrong thing was in how I chose to deal with the dissatisfaction, but the dissatisfaction was a real thing which has been addressed in MC.
Personally, I don't feel the need to label myself as broken in order to heal from my A. I do not have FOO issues, addiction issues, mental issues, CSA, or self-esteem issues to further explain my horribly wrong, poor choices. And I'm scratching my head trying to understand why any of those deep-seated issues would make an affair "better," or easier to fix or heal from?
While I screwed up bigtime, I consider myself a one-time screw-up, and see no value in applying a label to myself that does not apply.
That's the long way of saying I think it's okay not to have a deeper, underlying character issue that needs dealt with or discovered. If there's truly nothing hidden there, why create a dysfunction? For some of us, there truly isn't anything deeper to uncover.
[This message edited by sunnyrain at 9:51 AM, May 1st (Thursday)]
I honestly don't understand why it is so taboo on this site to acknowledge that there were unmet needs in a M that allowed a WS to give themselves permission to cheat (if that is the truth). Unmet needs in a M is a widely recognized reason by many affair experts as to why a WS would make a very poor choice to cheat.
I totally acknowledge that I have "more issues than Newsweek" that factor in with me. But I read some of these threads, and I just don't understand why "unmet needs" is not understood as a reason.
Jovie's situation comes to mind. The more apt question, IMO, is why would you stay in a relationship with an addict? Having dealt with that, it's truly one of the most isolating & lonely experiences in the world, and the non-addict may as well not exist in the addict's world most of the time. Yes, an A is a very poor choice for dealing with unmet needs, but it seems like a better exercise to look at why you'd choose an A vs. leaving the relationship altogether, especially when you're in a situation where you, personally, cannot do a damn thing to change the variables at work.
[This message edited by splitintwo at 10:00 AM, May 1st (Thursday)]
My best thinking brought me to SI.
This is comforting to me. I relate to everything you wrote. Now I question the weight I'm putting into this (which honestly I would not have explored if not for this site).
(This is me questioning myself and putting too much weight in other peoples opinions and lack of good decision making skills in play, lol.)
I could have chosen a healthier, more mature way to deal with the unmet needs in my M. My A was an extremely poor choice to meet unmet needs, and I own that my decision to cheat was 100% on me. I could have chosen counseling, better communication skills, honesty with my H that I was attracted to someone else. I could have read a book, prayed, immersed myself in volunteer work.
t/j: I know that in my M there were unmet needs, but that was not the problem (IMO). The thing I look at is why was cheating an option for me? As you said, there were many other options out there, including ending the M, so why did I choose an A. For me that is the big 'Why' to figure out, and fix. For me, it boils down to this: "Why did I give myself permission to cheat instead of talking about my unmet needs?"
Separated transitioning to D
You are welcome.
Just because there might be more to some WS, or in their personal history, doesn't mean it applies to every person or every marriage.
Feel confident in speaking your own truth!
"Why did I give myself permission to cheat instead of talking about my unmet needs?"
Yes, I think it's healthy and beneficial for a WS to ask themselves that question.
And again, I think it's okay for our reasons on why or how we allowed ourselves to cross that boundary to be different. We are not all the same person.
For me, I gave myself permission when I selfishly put my own needs, and the needs of my AP, above my H's needs, above my core values, above God, and above my marriage vows.
I temporarily made myself more important than anything else. I betrayed who I am at the core.
Not true, like listed, there were many other options to choose. However, the unhealthy choice to cheat lays squarely on the WS, despite the unmet needs. I agree that unmet needs are a marital problem and needs to be addressed,especially if a spouse is feeling unappreciated or neglected. In base form...it is still validation People need validation. What makes it unhealthy or "broken" is when you seek to get that need (validation) met from someone outside your relationship, but most importantly....yourself.
I betrayed who I am at the core.
This right here is what it is about.
In the end, you betrayed yourself. It isn't about unmet needs in the marriage. It is about the fact that you betrayed yourself. You gave yourself permission to do something you didn't think you would. Why?
You gave yourself permission to do something you didn't think you would. Why?
If this question was for me personally, I feel I already answered to my own satisfaction: I was selfish and put myself above everything else (God, my H, my M vows).
I am at peace with my why (unmet needs), and my reason (ultimate selfishness) in how I allowed myself to break my vows, dishonor my H and M, and dishonor myself.
If you believe I need more, or that my more is not good enough, I respectively disagree. I am at peace with that decision as well.
I envy your confidence in your stance! I had said this in my OP -
Before the A, I did have times when I felt satisfied with my life, proud of myself, and like I had my shit together.
Can you tell me if you've reached this point with yourself? Are you R'd with your BH? Sorry if this is stalkerish, it just gives me some hope!
So what happens if you have unmet needs again? Who is responsible for your unmet needs? I guess that is my question. And only you have to be at peace with your why. Not anyone else. I am just curious about these questions.
If I have unmet needs in the future, I'll discuss them with my H, and with my God. I'd include my therapist in that group too, but I'm no longer in therapy.
Ultimately, I am responsible in making sure my needs are met in an honest, authentic way.
[This message edited by sunnyrain at 1:17 PM, May 1st (Thursday)]


text: INMEMORYThomas Edward "Eddie" Jinnette05/22/70-02/14/05I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and the days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in frame. Your memory is a keepsake, from which I will never part. God has you in his arms. I have you in my heart......With Love, Your Mother, Wayne, Matthew, Christina, Aidan, Ansley & Family


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6 replies to this topic
Posted 15 September 2012 - 05:56 AM
Want to know just how big your new iPhone is? Want to double check to make sure it fits in your geek side holster? All you need to do is go to developer.apple.com to find not only the dimensions in blueprint form for your new iPhone, but also for the new iPods as well. The second and third links are to .pdf files and the first link is to the developer main page.
Anybody got a 3D printer to start making some cool cases?
Click here to view the article
Posted 20 September 2012 - 05:56 AM
maybe I wont need it at all
Posted 21 September 2012 - 06:15 PM
Lol I have it with me now and I can tell you the innards are a hell of a lot more complex than that of my iPhone 4.
Posted 21 September 2012 - 06:17 PM
Mongo want pictures
Posted 22 September 2012 - 03:33 AM
Will have pictures once I can find a suction cup to take the screen up with...
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Brimstone (Atari 8-bit)
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This real time all-text tale puts you in the role of Sir Gawain, a knight of the Round Table. It takes place in a dream that traps you in the underworld of Ulro, where you must learn five magic words in order to escape. The most unusual aspect of this game is probably the perspective: the story is described in the third person, with Gawain referred to by name, unlike most other text adventures that use the second person, referring to your character as 'he'.The hardbound book that comes with the game includes a novella-length introduction to the plot, which is identified as the first chapters of the story, into which you jump when you commence game play.
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- "Brimstone: The Dream of Gawain" -- Full title
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Kabushi (173019) added Brimstone (Atari 8-bit) on Feb 01, 2006


text: Driver crashes while calling 911 to report erratic driverMatt Hardigree4/18/11 1:45pmFiled to: BlipCar Crime911Erratic DriverIrony47EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkIf you're going to report an erratic driver, perhaps you should pull over lest you crash you car into a tree while on the phone with 911 reporting an erratic driver and thus become one. (Hat tip to Jalopchick!)Reply47 repliesLeave a reply


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Corporate culture can reshape a firm's future
An organisation's corporate culture directly affects its performance. The constant challenge for organisations to react nimbly to the ever-changing business environment means it is crucial they keep their corporate culture primed to support their strategic development.
Failure to do so can lead to lost opportunities and profits. If corporate culture is substantially out of kilter with an organisation's business strategies there can be a grave undermining of competitiveness or sustainability.
Reshaping corporate culture is usually the most effective solution to such a problem, but is no easy task in itself and carries considerable sensitivity as it primarily involves changing attitudes and mindsets which are notoriously inflexible. This type of exercise also tends to be meticulous and intricate, and needs to be well planned with full participation by staff and management to succeed, according to the Hong Kong Productivity Council's (HKPC) senior consultant Philippe Tang King-wai.
Speaking recently at seminar, 'Striving for Business Excellence via Culture Reshape', jointly organised by HKPC and the Classified Post, Mr Tang said effective culture reshaping needed to have a lucid target, and be comprehensively researched, carefully measured, and implemented with a clear direction. He said the efforts would pay off in the long term.
'There are ample research findings abroad to show that companies with a strong, befitting corporate culture perform better in terms of productivity, profitability, stock prices, employment growth, employee satisfaction and commitment. They also do better in attracting quality staff and retaining them,' he said.
'This shows that the corporate culture can be a great competitive strength if it is consistent with an organisation's objectives and strategies.'
Mr Tang said that different barriers including conservative mindsets, resistance to change, staff inertia and under-communication might sabotage culture reshaping initiatives, and a customised plan with suitable tactics was needed for the unique circumstances of each organisation.
The key common objectives of such plans would be to facilitate attitudinal change through learning, stimulate staff innovation and participation, and ensure clear communication of cultural objectives and strategies to all concerned.
HKPC has devised a culture reshape model featuring a thorough, step-by-step approach for re-engineering organisational mindsets and behaviour according to strategic development needs. The model, in four stages, employs comprehensive groundwork research, surveys and interactive focus groups to identify an organisation's strategic needs and match them with the 'cultural DNA'.
'We will ask the top management what the organisation's strategic direction is, and where they see performance falling short of expectations,' Mr Tang said. 'We will also canvass the views of staff from different levels to map out what the existing culture is like and what transformation is required to strengthen the essential core values and develop the desired cultural attributes.'
The foundation thus laid, a representative body will be formed to set out a culture reshape road map and steer the exercise through to completion.
'Different methods can be used to entrench the desired behaviour. For example, there may be monthly or periodic cultural themes with set objectives and achievement targets. Staff, rather than being told what they should do, should be allowed to develop the desired behaviour through practice. They will be more ready to embrace the changes this way.'
The final phase of the model focuses on continuous reinforcement and culture measurement to ensure sustainable change and benefits. Examples of commonly used reinforcement tools include workplace paraphernalia such as corporate screensavers, mouse pads, posters, newsletters, videos and CD-Roms, communication-enhancing measures such as a dedicated e-mail channel to the top management or periodic meetings with the CEO. Mr Tang said purpose-designed tools such as experiential activities, team building and experience sharing workshops might also be organised.
Time for change
A culture reshape programme helps align an organisation's corporate culture with its strategic development needs to facilitate good performance
Custom designed for individual organisations, such programmes re-engineer corporate culture by changing mindsets and behaviour through learning, participation and communication
Full participation by staff and management is essential
Continuous reinforcement, measurement and monitoring
are required to sustain desired cultural changes


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Kindergarten Games
Kindergarten games teach educational lessons the way that kids want to learn them — the fun way! Play these free kindergarten games online to practice the math and reading skills teachers say kids need to learn most. If your students need more of a challenge, try our first grade games.
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University of Virginia
University of Virginia | |
City: | Charlottesville, Virginia |
Type: | Public |
Sports: | Baseball, basketball, cross country, lacrosse, football, golf, soccer, swim and dive, tennis, track/field, wrestling, field hockey, rowing, softball, volleyball |
Colors: | Orange, Navy Blue |
Mascot: | Cavalier |
Endowment: | $4.8 billion[1] |
Website: | http://www.virginia.edu/ |
The University of Virginia is a large public university located in Charlottesville, Virginia.
After serving his two terms as President, Thomas Jefferson returned home to Virginia in hopes of building a University. Jefferson started drawing his plans for the school, and built ten houses that he called pavilions. The school was founded in 1819, and in March of 1825 the University of Virginia opened its doors to 123 students. Thomas Jefferson was a noted critic of organized religion in public settings, and true to his form Jefferson even went so far as to ban the teaching of Theology altogether at his University. Jefferson stated "a professorship of theology should have no place in our institution." [2]
Today the students of the University of Virginia live by an Honor Code that was created over two hundred years ago. The students used to sign the Honor Pledge before taking a test, or writing a paper as a promise that they had not, or would not cheat.
The University has had eight presidents. The current one is Teresa A. Sullivan, who has held the position since August of 2010. A former professor of Sociology and "leading scholar in labor force demography," Dr. Sullivan was hailed on her selection as "an extraordinary talent who brings to the University an enormous depth and breadth of experience in every aspect of public higher education."[3]
In 1888 the school implemented orange and blue as the official athletic colors, and the official mascot is the Cavalier, also referred to as the Wahoos. A Wahoo is a fish that can drink three times its weight,[Citation Needed] a clear reference to the University's rampant underage drinking.[4]
U.S News and World Report ranks the University of Virginia as number 23 in the best "national universities, public and private" category, tied with Georgetown University. It also holds the number 1 spot for the best public university for the 2010 year. For the past eleven years it has ranked as either number one or number two in this category.
Bastion of Liberalism
The University of Virginia has in recent years become a bastion of liberalism for the commonwealth of Virginia.[Who says?] University professors have been investigated by conservative Attorney General, Ken Cuccinelli, who has demanded the seizure of documents from the professor relating to the notorious liberal scandal, Climategate [5] .
Fast Facts
- Location: Charlottesville, Virginia [approximately 120 miles southwest of Washington DC]
- Colors: Orange and Blue
- Mascot: The Cavalier
- Current President: Teresa A. Sullivan
- Enrolled Students: 20,387
- Faculty: 11,962
- ↑ 2011 NACUBO-Commonfund Study of Endowments. Retrieved on November 20, 2012.
- ↑ http://books.google.com/books?id=2D0gAAAAIAAJ&pg=PA903&lpg=PA903&dq=%22a+professorship+of+theology+should+have+no+place+in+our+institution.%22&source=bl&ots=goB9MVKzrp&sig=bE5Nu2T2ZfYXCKy9IQvlyxgb9tI&hl=en&ei=D9YzTNvqG8GC8gbwnIi_Aw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CB4Q6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=%22a%20professorship%20of%20theology%20should%20have%20no%20place%20in%20our%20institution.%22&f=false
- ↑ http://www.virginia.edu/uvatoday/newsRelease.php?id=10680
- ↑ http://edition.cnn.com/2007/TRAVEL/DESTINATIONS/05/22/charlottesville/index.html
- ↑ [1]


text: Overseas ship An overseas ship is one that is currently making, or about to make, an international voyage. Ships undertaking international voyages include cargo ships, passenger ships and a range of other ships that undertake maritime work. An overseas ship may be: an international (foreign) ship owned by a non-resident shipping operator that may or may not perform domestic voyages a resident-owned ship that travels directly overseas or via another Australian port which is incidental to that voyage. The residency of the shipping operation is relevant to who has GST obligations and who is entitled to fuel tax credits or input tax credits. Overseas ships on international voyages An international voyage is a voyage, whether direct or indirect, between a place in Australia and a place outside Australia. A 'place outside Australia' does not include: any area of waters outside Australia installations outside Australia a ship outside Australia a reef or uninhabited island outside Australia waters and installations in the Joint Petroleum Development Area. When determining if a ship has undertaken a voyage to a place outside Australia and as a result duty is not payable on the bunker fuel, 'Australia' means the Commonwealth of Australia excluding all external territories. If a ship travels from an Australian port to a place that is not a 'place outside Australia' before returning to Australia, it has not undertaken an international voyage. As a result, duty is payable on the bunker fuel consumed during this voyage. An overseas ship is making a continuing international voyage when it loads or unloads international cargo in an Australian port on arrival from overseas and is in transit to an overseas destination. This also includes legs travelled between Australian ports where international cargo is loaded or unloaded. A ship may travel from an Australian port to a foreign port via other Australian ports and still be on an international voyage. However, carrying domestic cargo during that voyage can alter that status and you may need to pay duty on the bunker fuel consumed during this part of the voyage. Overseas ships and domestic cargo Any domestic cargo loaded or unloaded at an Australian port while the ship is on an international voyage is incidental to the international status of the voyage. However, transporting domestic cargo (passengers or goods) between domestic ports can create a disconnection from the international classification of a voyage if the sole purpose of the trip is to load or unload that domestic cargo. Therefore, you may need to pay excise duty, customs duty or GST. Ships that conduct survey, construction, oil and gas exploration operations, and similar activities in Australia may interrupt a continuing international voyage and may also have to pay excise duty, customs duty or GST. Last modified: 02 Jun 2015QC 22910


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Sabathia joins fight against breast cancer
Here's the bulk of a press release from Major League Baseball:
An All-Star cast will serve as celebrity judges on a blue ribbon panel for the 2010 Honorary Bat Girl Contest, an initiative led by Major League Baseball® and Susan G. Komen for the Cure®, the world's largest breast cancer organization.
Access Hollywood's Maria Menounos joins Ambassador Nancy G. Brinker, founder and CEO of Susan G. Komen for the Cure, MLB All-Star Pitchers Brian Wilson, CC Sabathia, John Lackey and Jake Peavy, along with MLB Network's Trenni Kusnierek and Mitch Williams, in casting their ballots for the most inspirational stories from MLB fans who have been affected by breast cancer.
The judges will select the winning submissions based on the following criteria: originality, quality of writing, demonstration of commitment to breast cancer awareness and public appeal, as determined by online fan votes. There is less than a week remaining for fans to submit their stories and vote for their favorites.
MLB.com, the official web site of MLB, is accepting fan submissions at www.mlb.com/honorarybatgirl for the online contest that ends on April 13 at Noon ET. Baseball fans can share their stories of inspiration and hope of how they are supporting the fight against breast cancer and why they want to be an Honorary Bat Girl for their favorite MLB Club. Testimonials can be submitted by men and women who are breast cancer survivors, advocates and supporters of the cause. Each Honorary Bat Girl will have an opportunity to take part in pre-game activities, be honored during an on-field ceremony and receive pink MLB merchandise and two tickets to their Club's Mother's Day celebration game or another home game in May.
Boston Red Sox All-Star Pitcher John Lackey's life has been touched by breast cancer. Jake Peavy, All-Star Pitcher for the Chicago White Sox and former National League Cy Young Award Winner, lost his cousin to cancer, but thankfully has had a close friend beat the disease and is an advocate for any cause striving to find a cure for all forms of cancer. CC Sabathia, All-Star Pitcher for the New York Yankees and former American League Cy Young Award Winner, thankfully has not had anyone close to him affected by the disease, but he is also an advocate for a cure for all forms of cancer. Brian Wilson, All-Star Closer for the San Francisco Giants, lost his father to cancer when he was just 17 years old. Wilson dedicates every pitch to his father, who introduced him to baseball as a child, but sadly never got the chance to see him pitch professionally.
"I am honored and ecstatic to be a part of the Honorary Bat Girl program," said Wilson. "I have seen firsthand what cancer can do to a family with the loss of my father. Any time there is a positive development towards a cure, I am backing it 100%."
The Honorary Bat Girl program was introduced in 2009 to raise additional awareness and support for the annual Going to Bat Against Breast Cancer® initiative, a joint effort between MLB, its licensed partners and Komen for the Cure. Last year, more than 1,000 testimonials were submitted and nearly 2.2 million fan votes were cast.
On Mother's Day (May 9), Major League Baseball and its 30 Clubs, along with Susan G. Komen for the Cure, will celebrate the Going to Bat Against Breast Cancer initiative, which is designed to raise awareness about the breast cancer cause, while also raising funds to support breast cancer research. Hundreds of MLB players will use pink bats by Louisville Slugger, the Official Bat of Major League Baseball, stamped with the MLB pink ribbon logo, and these game-used pink bats will be auctioned off on MLB.com at a later date. To further demonstrate their support for the breast cancer cause, players and on-field personnel will wear the symbolic pink ribbon on their uniforms along with pink wrist bands.


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Healthy Mouth, Healthy Kids |
Mesioden Question05/23/2011 |
My 5-year old has a mesioden on her roof top directly behind her two front baby teeth. This evening she lost one of these baby teeth and we can see the adult tooth ready to come in but the mesioden is pressed against it. I'm concerned that the adult tooth won't come in correctly with the mesioden right next to it and am questioning our dentist's decision to wait to have the mesioden pulled until my daughter is six or seven. Any advice?
You are absoultely entitled to a second opinon. I think that if not a pediatric dentist, who is specialized in treating children, an orthodontist who may manage the eruption pattern would be a good resource.
It would be good to make sure the mesioden is not fused to, or as you mentioned, altering the path of eruption of the permanent tooth. Your dentist may be basing their decision on the fact that the permanent tooth is VERY immature and any trauma (such as being moved while extracting the mesiodens) may cause problems with the permanent tooth -so it is a reasonable thought. However, if you are not sure - get a 2nd opinion!Thanks for the question.
Sarath Thikkurissy, DDS, MS Professor Director, Residency Program, Division of Pediatric Dentistry and Orthodontics College of Medicine University of Cincinnati |


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Advertising Rope Pens - B118
Printed for as low as:
$0.52 ea*
Item Description
- This ballpoint pen on a rope features a removable cap and a breakaways safety lanyard for a unique twist on your typical promotional pen.
- These pens provide easy access to a writing instrument for teachers, healthcare professionals, and more.
- The budget friendly price makes these pens an ideal trade show giveaway.
Quick Quote Request
Item Colors
Red, Blue, White
Item Size
Item Material
Imprint Size
Side: 3/4" W x 1 1/2" H


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Coaching is a powerful and versatile skill set used by pastors, lay leaders, business professionals, and volunteers to help others define success and move toward it. Whether you are considering coaching as a career or just want to improve the way you relate to others, you'll find that our coach training program is distinguished by three factors:
- We are Christ-centered and aimed at transformation. We help coaches use this powerful skill set in partnership with what God is doing in the lives of real people.
- We offer world-class training. Our CTC program is approved by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as an Approved Coach Training Program (ACTP) -- a designation of quality and credibility in the coaching world.
- We provide an affordable coach training program. You can start your coach training for less than $500 and complete our Certificate in Transformational Coaching (CTC) for around $5,000.
Ready to Transform?At Western Seminary, we believe in the power of words and conversations to transform lives and create powerful change. Are you ready to transform through your conversations? |
Training ScheduleRegister NOW for Intro to Coaching, being held soon in 2016 on all three campuses: March 10-11 in Portland |
Why Western?If you're considering coach training, there are a lot of options. Learn if coach training from Western Seminary is the right choice for you. |
Want to learn coaching online?
Western Seminary now offers online coach training that can be applied toward the Certificate in Transformational Coaching. You can take all your training online or mix online training with on campus learning. View the Online Schedule
Important Dates and Events


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Too Much Too Soon celebrates all the glorious sleaze and excess of the Dolls' brief auto-destruct career through interviews with the survivors, including band members, managers, roadies, groupies and hangers-on. The result is the ultimate saga of unrepentant rock 'n' roll and debauchery.
This updated edition includes details of the band's reunion for Morrissey's Meltdown event in 2004, as well as the tragic death of Arthur Cane shortly afterwards.


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One comment on "Dolly: Go Tell It on the Mountain"
Go tell it on the mountain: the workers have nothing to lose but their chains! We aim not to bargain with international corporations, but to break them up; we aim not to tax the super-rich, but to take their money off them, and re-distribute it to end hunger, malaria, homelessness, fight global warming, you name it.
A few hundred people claim that the rest of us owe it to them to work for generations and give it to them? How can that be, unless we're dumb enough to accept it?
On your feet, or on your knees! Merry Christmas.


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MCV got a chance to interview the SCEE boss David Reeves. He said the "E3 was a phoney war". The real war will begin at Leipzig next month, August 23 – 26. A few things that stood out for me in the interview are:
"Massively enhancing the appeal of both the PlayStation 3 and PSP."
"We will be doing things no-one has seen yet for both PS3 and PSP."
Wonder what it could be, here are a few of my thoughts:
What do you guys think?
Written by: T0SH
- Cofounder of PS3Blog.net


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If Mark Sanford were a member of Congress, he'd be chairman of Foreign Affairs!
Active Episcopalian. Texan via Idaho. Usually Democratic. Music lover. Red Sox fan. Dartmouth alum. Online organizer, formerly with the DNC/OFA and the Sierra Club. Views my own. Find me on Twitter: @nathanempsall
Wayward began as a Katrina recovery blog in 2006 but has since wandered off to consider the intersections of faith, politics, and the environment and a life lived between DC & Idaho.


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Lot 26: Mick Cawston (1959-2006) Oil on canvas The
Paintings & Prints
by Dickins Auctioneers
June 14, 2014
Middle Claydon, United Kingdom
Live AuctionMick Cawston (1959-2006) Please Register/Login to access your Invaluable Alerts
Looking for the realized and estimated price?
Mick Cawston (1959-2006)
Oil on canvas
The Satisfied Fox , a fox licking it's lips whilst lying on a woodland floor
Signed and dated '1988' lower
24 x 30"
A noted Dog and Hunting Artist who tragically died at the young age of 47
Condition Report: Please Note - we do not make reference to the condition of lots within catalogue descriptions. We are however happy to provide additional information regarding the condition of items on request.