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Those of you who dropped in recently discovered a completely different CyberGal. Thankfully, most of the time, that dreadful over wrought part of me doesn't rise up to rip my normal life out from under me. When it comes around, I am terrified, that I've made no progress and am hopelessly mentally ill. At these times, God finds ways to aggressively remind me of His love and care.
Sunday was a record. God provided a dinner on Saturday and a fabulous chocolate cake on Sunday. As neglect was yet another part of my childhood, food speaks to me when I'm too emotional to respond to anything else. What I lived through this weekend is known as relapse. As much as I'd like to forget that my brain chemistry is screwed-up, It is screwed-up. My medications keep me from falling into a vicious cycle of non-stop crying, screaming and blacking out. Occasionally, when something catches me off guard, a trigger, of a memory, I'm still quite capable of accelerating into a state worthy of being hospitalized.
I am what is known as a high functioning patient. I do not abuse, or play games with my medications. I follow directions. Since there are more people in need of hospital beds, than there are beds, folks like me, are given extra medications, for those times, when we go off the track. I did for myself, exactly what the hospital would have done. Since I'm not violent, or dangerous, I am safe to remain at home. Here's the process.
Something triggers a severe emotional reaction within myself. In this case, being reminded of my own two years of being battered. Being reminded of some other memories of my blood, as well as the blood of others being shed. I overloaded, which for me results in true hysterics. I start to cry and can carry on for days, or even weeks.
This is not the healthy type of release from a normal tearful reaction. I have those also, and I react normally. It starts and stops rather quickly. When my brain chemistry gets stirred up, I'm like a run away train. I can't be calmed down. One doctor explained it to me as a brain that has been so over stimulated via trauma, as to not be able to calm down. The part of my brain that calms things down isn't working anymore. It got overworked and stopped functioning. The medications I take restore my ability to remain in emotional balance. It is a true miracle. After several years of not having the run-away-sobbing-episodes, I forget they can happen. When they show up, I'm taken aback. Will power is non existent for this situation. I eventually realize that I need to shut my system down, chemically. I took two sedatives, that would have normally caused me to sleep for days. They only caused a few hours of actual sleep, and then a drugged sense of wakefulness, but at least I had stopped crying.
How to explain this to the normal people in my life? I have to resist the awful temptation to hide in shame. God helps me stay focused and gives me the courage to continue. I am making this blog as a demonstration to someone out there, who has been mystified by a seeming inability to grow up. I finally went to my family doctor at age 40 and pondered having myself committed to a mental hospital. I'd had another total breakdown. About every ten years, my life would just collapse. This particular trip into hell, I was unable to complete sentences. I am highly verbal, and when I can't talk, there is really a problem.
It was almost funny. My doctor's office was typical, totally busy. You'd call up and tell the receptionist that your liver has just fallen out. She comes back with the first available appointment in six to eight months. So, when my psychologist said I needed to get my regular doctor to proscribe medication, I was sure nothing would happen for months.
"Would you like to come in right now...?" (Oh, NO!)
I didn't count on what actually occurred. I called up, stated who I was, that my psychologist had referred me.. Then I'd lose my train of thought and begin again. After my third attempt, this kind woman asked me a question which let me know that I was in one hell of a lot of trouble:
The next day, lying on the exam table, when the doctor entered the room, I jumped, arced, actually. My entire body jumped into the air. I realized I'd hit the end of the road. I was going to admit that I was nuts and take it from there.
I was 40 and conducting my life like a three-year-old. I knew better, but kept crying and carrying on anyway. I will never forget how hard that kind man tried to teach me what the problem really was. I could sense that he was using all his energy to get me to learn what he was trying to teach me.
I didn't change because, without medication, I couldn't change. Part of my brain wasn't working right any more. Probably from all the years of stress and physical trauma inflicted upon my poor brain. I gave that doctor points. This was the first time I'd even thought about my brain!
I thought it was about will power, character and maturity (or lack there of). This wonderful doctor asked me if I thought someone with diabetes could will their insulin levels? I laughed, that was absurd. What about a broken arm, can you think that well? I saw where he was going. I was afraid of getting on the psycho pills.
Man, I saw a friend on Thorazine, she was beyond gone, it was scary. It was like she went from crazy to comatose! But, I couldn't continue as I was. I filled my two prescriptions, went home and wept an apology to God, for probably doing something I couldn't undo - I took the pills. Within minutes I noticed changes.
Muscles all over my body started to relax. I could actually feel my physical body, in space. I knew where I was in the room. I wasn't breathing hard and shallow anymore. I felt like something wonderful was happening.
Soon, I had to find my first psychiatrist. A psychologist has a Ph.D. in psychology, and as of now, is not allowed to proscribe medications. They are attempting to change that, but, for now, if you need medication, you have to move up the medical food chain. A MD, or Medical Doctor has 12 - 15 years of schooling and training, whereas a psychologist can complete their degree in eight years. They are different disciplines. They both have their place and value.
Generally, a psychologist treats patients who don't need medication. The psychiatrist deals with those patients that do need medications. They also deal with the more severely abused group. My childhood has the terrible ability to make your average psychologist weep. I've even gotten to a few hard-core psychiatric nurses.
Psychiatrists have seen my background and worse, on a regular basis. They don't like it, but it rarely makes them cry in front of me. I find that a true relief. It is a drag, when I need to run down some piece of garbage that happened to me, and I have to stop and help the doctor cope with it!I started taking medication in 1997. I couldn't handle Zoloft, it made my memories so strong that I wanted to get violent. I was then moved to Effexor, and Depacote. Depacote is actually an anti-seizure medication, but it helps stabilize bi-polar disorder. I no longer felt like my blood cells were clanging together and causing me physical pain. I used to get so depressed, my entire body just hurt. It hurt to be conscious. I had more energy and my attitude was a whole lot better. I seemed to have an ability to deal with things without getting so totally upset. I felt like I'd been delivered from hell.
I then had problems with my vision and it looked like I would go completely blind. This inspired my roommates to evict me, as they "didn't want to have to take care of me". I did what every truly desperate woman does.
I found a man who appeared to be an answer from God. The kindest, most charming and considerate person I'd ever met. He was more than willing to take care of me. (This is a red flag, for all of you who want someone else to run your life, they're out there, but, you are better off WITHOUT them!)
I moved in with him, and within days the physical abuse began. If I hadn't been on psychiatric drugs, I'm sure I would have ended my life. I was too scared to tell my doctors, or anyone else, what was really happening. After two years I finally got out and have been alone (thankfully) ever since. I had a lust problem, but two years of getting m face re-arranged really put some iron in my soul, and the ability to not lie down with someone because I'm physically attracted to them. Being alone is not that bad, compared to being battered. Trust me.
Once I returned to Oakland, I set about rebuilding my life. I had a few rude awakenings around employment, blindness and available housing. God did get me out of the ghetto, but not until I'd learned to obey Him, and make the best of it, as it appeared He wanted me there. Within a week of actually being content to stay in the ghetto, the building was condemned, and I was on the road. I now live in a safe, quiet area. I hope I never have to return to a living arrangement, where someone trying to stab you in the bathroom was just another day in the hood!My HMO kept changing the medication rules on me. My medications were expensive. I had acquired Zaprexa at $8/pill, Effexor at $2/pill, and Depacote, at $1/pill. That's $11/day, every day. I refused to go into debt for medications. I dropped the Zaprexa, and went generic on the Depacote. Then Effexor was no longer covered. I was told that I could take a generic Prozac with something else, and it would equal what I was taking already, but at far less expense.
I was terrified of Prozac. I'd heard about the suicides/homicides under Prozac. I heard a radio program with a psychologist, who swore the entire Bi-Polar thing was a lie. Just another scheme for Eli Lilly to make more money. And they really had a winner in Prozac!
I bought this woman's book and began the re-education of myself. One of the symptoms of an out-of-control manic episode, is grandiose thinking. Try this: My psychiatrist has almost 20 years of school and supervised training, before they cut him loose to do private practice. I had an AA in data processing! But, after reading ONE book, by a Ph.D. I was smarter than my doctor! After all, he, the HMO and the drug companies were all just greedy bastards, out to make money, but I had the WISDOM to perceive how brilliant this Ph.D. was!
I gave my doctor The Word, from on high, and got off all my medications, under his supervision. He let me know, he felt I was over reacting, but I had the right to stop taking pills, if I chose to. THIS WAS HIGHLY ILL-ADVISED, but since I was so smart...
I got off all medication by my birthday, April 2 - and was the sickest I'd ever been by October. I have always had mild to serious social problems. I just don't quite fit in. I have a feeling it has a lot to do with being raised in something like a Steven King novel, but my blindness, doesn't help, as I totally miss the subtle social clues which are usually non-verbal.
By the time people speak to you about their irritation/discomfort, things are usually beyond repair. I'd gone to a new church. I was hopelessly mentally ill, but didn't believe it. So, people literally cleared a path away from me! I went home and crafted what I thought was a brilliant argument for assisted suicide (my own). I figured that most people hate blindness, and react to it, just like they do to, oh, say, a Black Widow spider!
That was it! If being blind was that bad, I was off the hook, there was nothing for me to do to solve a prejudice like that! They saw me as a Black Widow Spider! From there it was a natural move to euthanize this pathetic creature. I mean, we don't make dogs suffer like I was suffering... Right? I actually called my HMO and made an appointment with my psychiatrist to euthanize me. (I didn't have a problem getting in either.) It didn't occur to me that my thinking had totally left the plane of reality.I had a dog/house sitting job that weekend, this was Friday. My doctor asked me, in real short order, if I wanted to go to the hospital. Once in the office, I couldn't stop crying. I refused, because of the job. He then let me know that I'd once again, won the 'oops' medical lottery.
"Well, that's fine. Being with a dog, will help keep you calm. But... If you change your mind. Just go to the hospital and use my name. They'll let you right in." This is an HMO, not a resort. I had a feeling that there was more wrong, than I had realized. I've never had an offer like that before, or (thankfully) since!
All of this was a little over a year ago. A lot has been learned about the condition of Bi-Polar Disorder, since 1997. My HMO, first put me through something called "The Intensive Outpatient Program", where they could keep tabs on you, in case, you needed to return to the hospital. This was VERY serious business. I was in a room with about thirty other hospital refugees. Some of the most depressed, messed-up, people I'd ever encountered! What was I doing here?We had a big group meeting and then the last two-thirds of the morning was devoted to smaller group meetings, to give each patient more individual attention and help them plan their next step in treatment. This was ridiculous, four lousy questions! Name, why here (what brought you to the hospital,) rate how you feel today: 1: real bad to 5: real good and what is your goal for today? My God, what was I doing here? Patients couldn't handle it. I saw dedicated doctors crawl on their hands and knees in order to make eye contact with these terribly depressed people. They didn't let you get out of talking either. It might take five minutes, but they coaxed people into some kind of interaction. I kept looking at a wall and forgetting where I was. I had to spend a lot of energy remembering where I was and why... Then it was old CyberGal's turn to ace this silliness...
"What...Oh, yeah, its 2004. What do you mean that's not the right question? They always ask that..." I finally got my name right and then did remember why I was there:"I stopped all medications six months earlier and got really, really sick. I read a book from the alternative health industry..." I was angry with that movement. I could have died and that Ph.D. broad would just keep on selling books, tapes, interviews and spewing her stuff for idiots like me to buy into. As the morning progressed, another woman had a tale from the 'herbalist', who drained her bank account to the tune of several thousand dollars, until, like me, she ended up in The Intensive Outpatient Program.
If I'd had the money, I would have also done all that crap. The color lightbox therapy: $90, specialty vitamins from Canada $400/Mo., tape on getting off the medications $10, (I guess the $30 for the book is just a down payment)? Let's not neglect Noni Juice, mushrooms from Japan (only organic), music therapy, massage that cures cancer, blood/organ cleansing, magnets, personal affirmations, UFO channeling and your Spirit Guides.
Go ahead and drink chi tea, soup simmered from your lawn clippings and the juice strained from the testicles of the Hocomporappenaquesto frog. However, dear one, when you get weary of being broke and still sick -
Do you get it, that this innocent-sounding, religious idolatry damn near killed me? Yes, some of their stuff is truly beneficial. But, remember, if you have a headache, and I run over one of your feet with a car, for awhile, you'll forget all about the headache! (My book will retail at $29.95: A One Way Ticket to Your Bank Account.)
As the medication levels came up, we patients had a host of messes to clean up. The saddest story involved a woman who tried to "exorcise" all the demons out of a relatives home. She threw all the furniture out of a room on the second floor, until the police and medics came to take her away. She has been permanently disowned by her family.
I had amends to make also. I'd concocted that cute euthanasia argument, thought it was good enough to publish and fired off an email to a friend in Canada. He spend a week making emergency long distance calls trying to save my life. My close friend saw me at my worst and nearly wept while pleading for me to get help. I finally did get help, but I cut it really, really close. I'm darn lucky I didn't loose both of these fine people, as friends.While attending my HMO classes in downtown Oakland, I got mugged for the second time in ten years. I fought to keep my purse and cell phone. I was thrown to the ground and acquired a new permanent injury to my right ankle. I had to stop carrying a white cane, as I only see about five feet in front of me. Now, due to really serious walking problems, I use a Rollator. A Walker with attitude. In a way, the mugging was a good thing, as it forced me to realize that falling down all the time, in the street, especially, is a problem. (Yes, friends, I also like to swim in that Egyptian River: DENIAL too.)
The new medication works better than what I had before. I had been so depressed, that any improvement felt like heaven. I still felt depressed, but it was so mild. Now, I know, that one isn't supposed to feel depressed, at any level all the time. It is wonderful. I have gotten used to being balanced, contented, able to think clearly, solve problems and occasionally shed a few tears of gratitude, or normal sadness.
I have a whole flock of friends, literally all over the planet. I am blogging, and actually have a small following. I've been invited to help produce a pod cast. I'm studying Real Basic and having the best time I ever remember having in my life. I completely forgot about being out-of-control. I'd long ago put my 'emergency' medication on the top shelf of my medicine cabinet, where I keep long-term storage items, like a container of salt. I'd only taken one pill in the last thirteen months.
I have an almost irrestible temptation to fire off an apology email to a friend, who got caught in my cross fire, but I know it's not necessary. He would say (and has said) 'SOK' And so it is. I have missed one day of work, and not months. I have the joy of knowing that my chemistry is now back in balance. I have absolutely learned that I'm not up for any more child abuse horror stories. It is a very bad idea for me, to stroll down memory lane.
The most wonderful thing I know is the fact that God saved me, when I was crazy as a loon, listened to my various episodes and still loves me. I am continuing to heal. I want that one person, who will stumble into this blog, to hear me very well. It takes time, its not a constant upward movement, in healing. You will do, what you have read about me doing. Every so often, you will take a few steps backwards.
It doesn't mean you aren't getting better, it just means you are human. Your true friends usually can see it coming before you. There is love and hope with God - He gets it, when you are too whacked-out to avoid panic. It is part of the process. If you need help, start looking for it. (I mean real medical help. Yoga by itself, ain't gonna cancel out major child abuse.) If you have horror stories, those suckers won't just go away. There is healing and hope. Give Jesus a look-see. Remember, even though some of His followers mess it up (as we are not perfect) Jesus got it and is still getting it right.


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About Superintendent Bryant
- Audit Shows Questionable Practices during Ray Bryant's Leadership in Elmira, Jan 2010
Ed. Note: This audit is still under review and investigation by the Elmira BOE, as of March 2011.
- Dr. Ray Bryant's preferred search firm, assisting in the search by the Elmira City School District and the Warwick Valley Central School District:
Western New York Educational Search Consultants
222 Baldy Hall
State University of New York at Buffalo
Buffalo, NY 14260-1000
Phone: 716-645-2932
E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.com
The nonprofit organization, founded in 1966, employs 1½ professional staffers. It does about five searches per year, mainly in New York. Fees and expenses range from $8,000 to $15,000 per search. The organization also does staff development, efficiency studies and merger studies for school districts. Vince Coppola, a former superintendent, is the executive director.
January 18, 2011 at 4:36 pm
You will find interesting things in Elmira regarding ray bryant. his resignation was more impart to running from allegations regarding misuse of appropriated funds. the district "paid" off another assistant superintendant (during Bryants tenure) with extra sick days as part of a severance package…..some of which, after investigation Robert Gosden (afformentioned) returned to avoid further penalty. On Bryant (and others) watch, ineffective administrators were "hidden" with new, made-up titles at the Admin building in order to get them out of the schools. These people are now principals of their own office making 100k.
Bryant was shady when he was here, and he's probably just as shady in Warwick. Where there is smoke, there's fire. Good luck dealing with him. Chances are he'll slide on to the next unsuspecting district.
April 17, 2013 at 6:09 pm
Will you be having another meeting? All that Ray Bryant and our present board have done in recent weeks has created such discord. We need to come together and rebuild our community.

subset: commoncrawl


text: Code school is currently offering 48 hours of free access to their site. Code School has video classes covering Ruby, JavaScript, iOS and HTML. I just started mine tonight and I'm hoping to get a lot out of it and see if its something I can get more value from. If you're interested in coding, I highly recommend looking into this site and also Codecademy.


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Richard Slotkin, Regeneration Through Violence: The Mythology of the American Frontier, 1600-1860 (CT. Middletown: Wesleyan UP, 1973)
"There was, thank God, a great voluptuary born to the American Settlements against the niggardliness of the damming puritanical tradition…For this [the puritanical tradition as a spiritually withering plague] he has remained since buried in a miscolored legend and left for rotten. Far from dead, however, but full of a rich regenerative violence he remains, when his history will be carefully reported, for us who have come after to call upon him."
– William Carlos William, In the American Grain (qtd. in Slotkin, pg. 2)
"It is by now a commonplace that our adherence to the 'myth of the frontier'–the conception of America as a wide-open land of unlimited opportunity for the strong, ambitious, self-reliant individual to thrust his way to the top–blinded us to the consequences of the industrial and urban revolutions ad to the need of social reform and a new concept of individual and communal welfare…The first colonists saw in America an opportunity to regenerate their fortunes, their spirits, and the power of their church and nation; but the means to that regeneration ultimately became the means of violence, and the myth of regeneration through violence became the structuring metaphor of the American experience" (5).
"The mythopoeic mode of consciousness"→ mythopoeic imagination (7).
Richard Slotkin, Gunfighter Nation: The Myth of the Frontier in Twentieth-Century America (New York: Atheneum, 1992)
"The exchange of an old, domestic, agrarian frontier for a new frontier of world power and industrial development had been a central trope in American political and historiographical debates since the 1890s…the contemporary crisis of American development has arisen from the closing of the 'old frontier' and the delaying in finding a new one" (3).
"[In 1890,] the landed frontier of the United States was officially declared 'closed'…'Frontier' became primarily a term of ideological rather than geographical reference" (4)
"[In the last decade of the nineteenth century] the Frontier…was becoming a set of symbols that constituted an explanation of history. Its significance as a mythic space began to outweigh its importance as a real place…For most Americans…the West became a landscape known through, and completely identified with, the fictions created about it" (61).


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Measure your mileage… then manage it
May 21, 2009
Most of us aren't exactly sure what our fuel mileage is – and that makes it hard to tell if changes to our driving habits are yielding results. Here's an easy way to save 10-20% on your monthly gas bill:
1. the next time you fill up, make note of your odometer reading. A glovebox notebook is best, but a slip of paper works too. For your next fill-up after that, note the odometer reading and the amount of fuel you bought. Then divide the distance you drove since the last fill-up by the amount of fuel it took to fill your tank, and you have your 'benchmark mileage', be it kilometers per liter or miles per gallon.
2. practice this one easy habit: drive as if you have an egg taped under the toe of your right foot, and your aim is to get where you're going without breaking the egg. Gentle on the gas, gentle on the brake, maximum coasting.
3. repeat step one to get your new mileage. If you're a typical driver, you'll see a 10-20% savings – just like that!
You can see your vehicle's official rating here http://www.oee.nrcan.gc.ca/transportation/tools/fuelratings/ratings-search.cfm?attr=8 (Canada) or here http://www.fueleconomy.gov/ (US).
In the news
This week US President Obama announced aggressive new fuel economy standards for new vehicles that are projected to save 1.8 billion barrels of oil over the next five years. Good for the wallet, good for energy independence, good for the planet! http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601170&refer=home&sid=aKUXiuTCkyhw
Ontario has passed its Green Energy Act, committing that province to becoming a leader in renewable energy. http://www.newswire.ca/en/releases/archive/May2009/14/c4084.html
If you are in the US, please call your Congressman or Congresswoman to support passage of the Waxman/Markey Clean Energy and Security Act (http://energycommerce.house.gov/) – it's a critical step to progress against climate change.
Not all recycled paper is created equal: different words, different percentages and different certifications make buying paper a lot more complicated than it used to be. But here's a bit of clarity.
Paper made from Post-Consumer Waste is made from honest-to-goodness recycled paper: material that has gone through one consumer cycle, been collected via recycling centers or blue boxes, and re-processed into new paper. The percentage of Post Consumer Waste in paper varies, but if you find a product that's 100% Post-Consumer Waste, you've got the best – because it's made of material diverted (rescued?) from the landfill.
Paper made from Pre-Consumer Waste is made from scrap paper that never made it to the consumer: trimmings from print shops and newspapers, surplus copies printed, etc. Paper made from Pre-Consumer Waste is better than paper made from virgin pulp, but not as good as paper made from Post-Consumer Waste.
And since most paper available is not 100% recycled, look for an FSC (Forest Stewardship Council – http://www.fsccanada.org) or Green Seal (www.greenseal.org) logo that certifies that the non-recycled portion of the paper comes from sustainably managed forests.
In the news
Ontario's first annual 50 Million Tree Weekend (http://www.treesontario.ca/news/index.php/50_million_tree_weekend) happens this Friday and Saturday: ordinary citizens are being challenged to plant trees in support of the United Nations' Billion Tree Campaign (http://www.unep.org/billiontreecampaign/).
Trees play a vital role in the world's carbon cycle, and this is the perfect time of year to plant them. Learn more here: http://telegraphjournal.canadaeast.com/rss/article/655623


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Sunday, March 25, 2012
Oilcloth Project
I had to pick up a book I had on hold at the library, and while I was there, I took a peek at the sewing books. I am glad I did! I found this great book by Kelly McCants called Sewing with Oilcloth. I have a bunch of this stuff for making my tote bags. This book has some great ideas for new projects! I have been wanting to make storage bins for the longest time. I was originally going to make them from fabric, but now I am loving the oilcloth! These would be great to hold fruits and veggies! If something happened to spoil, you can just wipe them clean! I have only the 1 so far, but plan on making more of these!
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My Crazy (Mommy-Running-Working) Life
Personal blog about parenting, running, work-life balance etc.
About Me
Monday, June 20, 2011
Sunday Workout : Stationary Bike
Friday J Sr. and I headed to Baltimore for the weekend for our nephew and Godson's baptism. I didn't bring any workout stuff and regretted it. We did a lot of walking but also ate a lot of food. Sunday I used my sister-in-law's stationary bike for 30 minutes and did some stretching. I immediatly felt better after getting some cardio in but am really looking forward to running tomorrow.
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Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Organic Honey Stinger Waffles Giveaway / Review Inspired by Lance Armstrong / 5 Winners!!
33 comments:
I'd try lemon.ReplyDelete
Love Strawberry! Thank you! -GeorgianaReplyDelete
Lemon sounds great -thanks!ReplyDelete
Definitely the chocolate! ThanksReplyDelete
Lemon please :)ReplyDelete
- Jenny StanekOctober 17, 2012 at 7:51 PM
I'd love to try te lemon firstReplyDelete
I'd have to try the chocolate first.ReplyDelete
I would love chocolate. thank youReplyDelete
I would love to try the lemon waffles firstReplyDelete
- Cindy MerrillOctober 18, 2012 at 3:12 AM
I would try the chocolate one first.ReplyDelete
I'd like to try the Strawberry first.ReplyDelete
Thank you!
chocolate for sure!ReplyDelete
I'd try lemon first.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousOctober 19, 2012 at 5:33 PM
Would love to try the Lemon! email@example.com
- Shelley POctober 20, 2012 at 6:49 PM
I'd try the strawberry first : )ReplyDelete
Id try the Honey first.ReplyDelete
chocolate of course!ReplyDelete
- Sandy V.October 25, 2012 at 1:27 PM
I would try the chocolate.ReplyDelete
The Lemon Waffle would be my first choice, sounds sweet and delicious!ReplyDelete
- Shayna MOctober 31, 2012 at 7:24 PM
Chocolate! Yum!ReplyDelete
Lemon is my first choice.ReplyDelete
Chocolate for sure!ReplyDelete
the chocolate!!ReplyDelete
I would try the vanilla!ReplyDelete
I want to try the Vanilla or Honey waffle.ReplyDelete
I would choose the chocolate:)ReplyDelete
- AnonymousNovember 13, 2012 at 12:43 AM
Diane Rose I would try lemon.ReplyDelete
I would like to try the Strawberry first.ReplyDelete
lauraemerson17 at yahoo dot com
I'd love to try the honey.ReplyDelete
Thank you for taking the time to stop by Fishful Thinking Blog. I hope you learning something new and visit again.


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I received a letter this morning! It was from H.M. the Queen! It was an invitation to a private and personal audience with the monarch! There would be just the two of us - no foot-men; no aides; no bodyguards. I was assured that I could raise any matter, however important or however trivial. I was also assured that there would not be a time limit. I could spend as long as I wished with H.M. - she would be delighted to have me with her.
Now, of course, that last paragraph is totally fictional - in case anyone hadn't worked that out! However, if it was true ... ... ...! I am not an ardent royalist (although I do hold H.M. in high regard), but I would be telling everyone about this amazing honour that had been bestowed upon me.
It is a fact that I am the recipient of an even greater honour and privilege. Almighty God, the King of kings, the Sovereign Ruler of the universe, invites me to meet with Him. Indeed, I don't really have a specific invitation! He operates an 'open door' policy. That means that I may come into His royal presence at any time! I may bring every matter before Him; I may share my most personal, and intimate, thoughts; I may bring my petitions to Him, assured that He will respond. Of course, just as would be the case with H.M., there is no guarantee that I will receive exactly what I request. His wisdom is infinitely greater than mine (or H.M's.!). He will not give me, or do for me, that which He knows is not for my ultimate good.
One other thought. If I were to receive that invitation to Buckingham Palace, or Balmoral, or wherever, I would still be attending as a subject of the Queen. I would still address my royal companion as "Your majesty". But, when I enter the throne-room of heaven in prayer I come, not only as a sinner (which I am), but as a sinner saved by grace and, wonder of wonders, as an adopted child, able to address Almighty God as "Father" - just as H.M's. children, while still her subjects, may also address her as "Mother".
Do you have that personal relationship with the Lord? Unlike an invitation to meet with the Queen, it's available to all who come to Him, in repentance and faith (both of those words are explained in my book - see the top of this page!), and accept His offer of salvation (also in the book), through the finished work of the Lord Jesus (Who is the subject of yet another chapter in the book).
If you don't have a relationship like that, may I urge you to deal with that situation while you may. Please don't think that membership of a Christian fellowship, or even holding office in one, is sufficient. It's only that personal relationship that enables us to come into His presence now, and to enjoy His presence in eternity (on which there is also a chapter in the book!).
The personal musings, and other writings, of a Ross who has maintained the Clan's ecclesiastical link! This is an unashamedly Christian ministry blog. Many of the posts are comments on current affairs, from a Biblical perspective, but I also include some straightforward Christian teaching; poems and songs that I have written; quotable quotes; and information on the persecuted church. Some of my posts stray into politics, and science!
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Tuesday, 10 September 2013
A Royal audience.
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Right after the recent incident of two bomb explosions at luxurious hotels in Jakarta, the Indonesian Hotels and Restaurants Association (PHRI) has conducted inventory of hotel occupancy in several areas of the country. The result show that there have been slight decrease in several larger cities and tourist destinations. However the decrease is predicted to extend in within a few months ahead.
Chairman of PHRI, Krisnadi exposed that whilst average occupancy remained beyon 66%, five star hotels are predicted to see a steep decrease of between 10 to 20% on foreign visitors. The situation is expected to go the opposite way in three-star hotels which mostly occupied by domestic guests. "It helps", he said.
In detail, hotel occupancy rate at the moment are as follow: Jakarta 72%, Bali 82%, Batam 50%, Yogyakarta 75%, Surabaya 70%, Medan 70%, Manado 50%, and Makassar 65%. However the recent terror attack has brought serious fear to many people. Hundred of those planning a visit to Indonesia have canceled their trips.
"Hundred of Australians, Japaneses, and Europeans has confirmed their cancellations. Some of them were scheduled to have a meeting in Bali. We do hope the police to seriously takes care of the issue. The government has to show the same performance as when they were taking care of Bali bomb", he explained.
Whilst he admitted that bomb can take place anywhere, speedy uncover by the authority can significantly ease its impact to hotel and restaurant industry. "The longer it takes the worse it affects hotel occupancy", he said.
As an instiuion PHRI strongly comminates both the operatives and the masterminds of the terror attack. On the other side it expresses sincere condolences to the victims and their families. PHRI insists the government to quickly uncover, seize, and put everyone involved into justice. "More than giving bad image of Indonesian tourism, life of thousands of tourism workers are getting at risk for decreasing foreign tourist visits", he added.


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I'm not dead yet….!
As mentioned in the previous post I went and saw Spamalot of the Cambridge Theatre last night and it is brilliant. The cast including Tim Curry were excellent and seemed to be really enjoying themselves and this spilt over into the audience who joined in with the punchlines and of course the singing. Of particular note is the actor playing the Lady of the Lake, who apparently by thrusting a sword at you is no basis for a system of Government, but she not only has an amazing voice but also hammed up the part wonderfully.
Go and see it…or someone may fart in your general direction.


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It was a clean up day at my place today. Everything went upside down and inside out. Cleaning the store room was my responsibility. The store room was my favorite place when I was a kid. Thought it had been a couple of years since I had not been there. Not even to look for something. It seems like this portion of our house was just absent for me. Being hell of an observer, I was amazed to see a few 50 paise coins beneath the trunks. I wonder who put it there. Was it 8 year old me who accidently slipped them under while playing with them ? Or did I put them there then to smile 10 years later when I find them ? This was giving me a blur imagery of the days of my childhood. I am 18 now.The imagery was gradually drifting me into memories. Memories of an 8 year old kid. Who was bubbly. round, plump and talkative. Unlike the 18 year old me.
Moving around the trunks and after making room, I pulled an almirah from the wall. Something went down with a thud and made me check the almirah for damages. It was a dusty brown color ball. All in dust and toughened like the almirah wood. I picked up the ball and spun it hard with my right hand like I always use to. The view of catching it after its flight suddenly fitted in an another frame in mind. It was the 8 year old me spinning the ball with his right hand and collecting it in his left. The *Thought* *Detonated* at this moment.
It was my red cosco ball. It was worth 25 bucks and I had bought it from the Friend's Corner in the next street nearly 10 years ago. The blur image was vivid now. That day I had managed 10 bucks from my mother, and 15 from my savings, to buy a red cosco ball. It was a secret buy as I was allowed to play only with the softer wind balls. Seems like the kid had started his attempts to show the world that he was tough. He could play with the red cosco ball while you thought he deserved softer one.
It was my first day with my first red cosco ball ever. Accompanied with Rahul, Manish and Ashish I started our "World Cup" like everyday. But that day it was with a red cosco ball. Happiness, Devine Joy & Nirvana. The winner was to get an eclairs(of 50 paise - exactly the same amount I found beneath those trunks). Manish was on the bat while I took to bowl. It was my first throw, with my first ever red coso ball, and Manish smashed it hard. Ofcourse it was a by-luck shot. No one can hit me that hard. I am the best, The best 8 year old bowler. The ball flew straigt into my store room on the second floor after bombarding the glass window. All of us ran to our respective houses scared of our respective mothers and the next moment I was in the store room. I looked for my red cosco ball for hours and later declared it lost. It was sorrow, Hellish gloom and weezyness. I flung a few 50 paise coins in disgust and left the store room. There was no red colour cosco ball, no match, no winner & no echlairs.
I have found the red cosco ball now, after 10 years. I know why the 50 paise coins were beneath the trunks. Still there is no joy, no devine happiness, no nirvana. Just the 18 year old me standing still while holding the ball.
There is no Red Cosco Ball now and No Childhood. Its all a dusty store all around with wooden furniture - stiff and inanimate.
[If you liked this article the do share it within your network and download as a .pdf file]


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[Aretha Franklin and Sermon: Demons, History, and Christ]
Original Title
Carter, Dr. Harold, Chapel Speaker ITC MLK Fellows Program Side 1, Aretha Franklin Sings Side 2
Streaming Media
Martin Luther King Fellows In Black Religious Studies, Inc. Collection
Document Type
Date Information
Playing Time
In this recording, awards are presented, Aretha Franklin sings gospel songs with a choir, and Dr. Harold Carter delivers a sermon titled "Demons, History, and Christ" where he talks about the Black religious experience including the charismatic preaching tradition.
File Name
00:00:05 Audio begins with unidentified male presenting awards to Henry Mitchell and others.
00:06:10 Henry Mitchell prays.
00:08:23 Singing by Aretha Franklin and chorus: "Mary Don't You Weep", "Take My Hand Precious Lord", "Give Yourself to Jesus", "How I Got Over", "What a Friend We Have In Jesus", and "Amazing Grace".
00:47:24 Audio cuts off.
00:48:29 Audio returns with choir singing "Christ the Solid Rock".
00:49:03 Unidentified man leads in Psalm 1.
00:54:45 Unidentified woman prays.
01:00:28 Dr. Harold Carter speaks about the service and reads Philippians 2:12-13.
01:02:03 Introduces sermon title "Demons, History, Christ".
01:08:48 Talks about the Black religious experience including the charismatic preaching tradition.
01:25:04 Talks about Christ coming down from heaven.
01:27:46 Singing: "Amazing Grace" and "We'll Understand it Better By and By".
01:32:25 Presentation made to Henry Mitchell.
01:34:03 Audio ends.
The Atlanta University Center Robert W. Woodruff Library acknowledges the generous support of the National Endowment for Humanities - Humanities Collections and Reference Resources Implementation Project Grant in supporting the processing and digitization of a number of its major archival collections as part of the project: Spreading the Word: Expanding Access to African American Religious Archival Collections at the Atlanta University Center Robert W. Woodruff Library.
Recommended Citation
Carter, Harold and Franklin, Aretha, "[Aretha Franklin and Sermon: Demons, History, and Christ]" (1973). Martin Luther King Fellows in Black Religious Studies, Inc. Collection, Audio-Visual Recordings. 12.
All audio content in this collection is protected by copyright or is the property of the Robert W. Woodruff Library of the Atlanta University Center, Inc., and/or the copyright holder as appropriate. For more information or to inquire about permission to publish, please contact email@example.com.


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Where do we start? Obviously, everything we have read, seen and heard on the news about the refugees is not what we see with our own eyes. Nor can we take photographs because in front of us we have real people and not just stories to tell. Skaramanga is a town of containers inhabited by circa 3400 people, about 50% of them Syrians and the rest half Iraqui/Kurds and Afghans. Everybody is waiting. They are waiting to see if they are allowed to restart their lives so abruptly interrupted. University students who want to start to hope again. Children born in the war, who really want to go to school, people who want to work to sustain their families. To photograph them feels like a crude imposition. Everybody greets you with a smile. They ask you where you come from and they thank you to be there with them. The vitality of 1700 children and minors is almost tangible and sometimes turns to violence. You can't imagine what they have seen and heard, how much fear they have felt and how they absorb the anxiety of the adults around them. You see people looking into space and you imagine them prisoners of their own anguish. Worst of all are the men, who have no roles nor responsibilities, cannot protect their families nor can they provide for them. Teenagers had to put a stop to their projects, hopes and dreams and are now immobilized. Everyone is waiting to live their present and their future. Skaramanga is the best, most organized and desirable refugees camp in Greece. Those people are the privileged ones. Imagine the rest... Thank you!
In all this, and thanks to the fact that we have wonderful and generous friends, we have been able to bring a bit of relief and some practical help in this 'temporary town'. Your support was welcomed with enthusiasm and gratitude. We have listened to the real needs of the people, especially young mothers, but also to those responsible for the camp, and this what we have been able to distribute:
Many, many pairs of shoes for children.
New and second-hand clothes for children and adults. Underwear for adults and children
Pregnancy pack including suitable clothes for mother and baby, nursing bras, and other suitable items
Lots of fabric for the sewing workshop which has a three weeks long waiting list as so many people want to make, mend or personalize their given clothes
Cupboard, shelves and containers for the English class, the most sought after in the camp
Stationary, pens and paper, school kits, games, knitting material, make up and one computer
In the warehouse we have sorted second hand goods donated from many countries, selecting, washing and drying good quality clothes that were not suitable for distribution because slightly soiled. Thus we were able to recycle circa 700 Kg of clothes to be distributed nationally.
All this thanks to all of you! Annamaria and Olimpia
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Another wonderful Tot Book from the 1+1+1=1 Website this time focusing on farm animals. You can visit the website to download the templates for this tot book. I also created my own additional pocket and cards for this folder to add in a little Islamic reminder called "Why Did Allah Create the Animals?"
I made this tot book with my 3 year old daughter, Amina but my two year old daughter, Basma loves to join in and she understands it all just as well as her older sister, masha'Allah.
When the tot book is opened out it shows a neat selection of books and pockets.
This little pocket holds the pieces to a 9 piece jigsaw puzzle.
I printed out the picture of the barn and glued it down onto an empty cereal box to make it a bit sturdier. Then I cut it out and cut it into sections.
Basma, my 2 year old daughter loves anything to do with size sequencing so these little tractor cards are perfect for her.
And when play time is over there is a neat little pocket to tidy the cards away.
These matching pair cards are great fun. We played the matching pairs game and the memory game and we learned the names of the different farm animals along the way.
The cards can be stored in this nice little pocket until next time.
A favourite addition to any tot book is the counting tab. Both girls love counting and naming the different animals in this cute counting tab.
Next up are the Heads and Tails cards. The girls spent ages playing with these cards and after we had learned which head belonged with which body the girls had a great laugh mixing and matching the heads and tails to create weird and wonderful creatures LOL!
Next up was Amina's (my 3 year old) favourite bit … COLOURING! She loves to colour so she always looks forward to the colouring pages of the tot books.
Another nice mini-book is the phonics book. With the kids already knowing the names of the animals it made sounding out and remember the phonics easier. I am also encouraging Amina to start tracing the letters with her finger so that she becomes familar with the letters as she begins learning the phonics alphabet and writing the letters.
Finally I decided to add in an additional pocket of cards to give the kids a little Islamic reminder. I made a pocket called "Why Did Allah Create the Animals?"
The front of the cards show pictures of different farm animals using real life photos so that they become familiar with what the animals really look like.
A close-up of the front of the 'COW' card.
A close-up of the back of the 'COW' card reveals photos of the products that are produced from the cow including milk and meat products.
I decided to include a card about pigs.
And on the back of the 'PIG' card I added signs and images to explain that Allah has commanded in the Qur'an that Muslims are not to eat the flesh of swine.
To download the the template for the "Why Did Allah Create" cards, please use the BOX file share at the bottom of the menu bar on the right.


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Jonah: Mommy, did you know that me and Micah are both wearing white and brown today?
Me: Yes, I planned that.
Jonah: Oh, I thought you were just surprised by it like I am. It's not a surprise if you plan it. You ruined your own surprise!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Isn't he cute?
Posted by Nicki Glenn at 11:48 PM No comments:
Brothers at bedtime
Posted by Nicki Glenn at 10:32 PM 2 comments:
Rolling his eyes
I got home from class last night and Dan grabbed the video camera and said "you've got to see this!" Apparently, Jonah "thinks" he has learned to roll his eyes and cross his eyes. While we do have video, I think you will quickly find that it is not proof of this new found ability. He sure is convinced he is good at those two things.
Posted by Nicki Glenn at 12:33 PM 5 comments:
Labels: video
After the bath
There are few things in life quite so yummy as a baby after his bath. Every inch of him is clean and smells so good. So, I put him in the Bumbo for a while and let him "play" with Max.
Posted by Nicki Glenn at 10:00 AM No comments:
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The first and last day of Preschool
Posted by Nicki Glenn at 1:34 PM No comments:
Labels: comparisons, Daddy, Mommy, preschool
A big day!
He dressed himself today. He put on a white t-shirt, khaki pants, a white Polo shirt and brown Sketcher shoes. He walked over to kiss me goodbye and said "Will you be there?"
That little baby boy who you see in the picture above, has somehow grown into a full fledged little boy. And, in just 1 hour and 21 minutes, his preschool graduation will begin. He will march in wearing a green cap and gown. He will look so big.
Preschool graduate, high school graduate, college graduate...he will always be MY baby!
That little baby boy who you see in the picture above, has somehow grown into a full fledged little boy. And, in just 1 hour and 21 minutes, his preschool graduation will begin. He will march in wearing a green cap and gown. He will look so big.
Preschool graduate, high school graduate, college graduate...he will always be MY baby!
Posted by Nicki Glenn at 8:42 AM 2 comments:
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Graduation talk
I just got this email from my friend, Aja.
I thought you would enjoy the conversation I had with Jonah at the church restaurant:
Me: "Hey Holder. Tomorrow's a big day for Jonah. He's graduating from Pre-K. Aren't you Jonah?"
Jonah: "Yeah. Want to come?"
Me: "Oh, that would be so fun, but we have plans with Holder's Nina. What are you going to do at graduation? Will you be on a stage?"
J: "Yep. I'll be there and I'll sing a song."
Me: "Neat! How's the song go?"
J: "I don't know. I'll just be up there and figure it out."
LOL! I know it will be a great day- have fun!
Posted by Nicki Glenn at 11:04 PM No comments:
Labels: Jonah Stories
Last day of VPK
Today, I told my sweet boy goodbye as he left for his final day of VPK. Oh, wow! Another year has passed and my little boy is one step closer to starting Kindergarten. This time tomorrow, we will be in the chapel at his school waiting for his graduation to begin. I'll try to remember my camera tomorrow. ;-)
Posted by Nicki Glenn at 9:26 AM 1 comment:
Labels: comparisons, preschool, transitions
Way back WHENsday
I haven't done a Way Back WHENsday post in a while so I decided to bombard you with pictures just to make up for it. All of these pictures were from May of 2007. Jonah turned 10 months old during that month.
Posted by Nicki Glenn at 8:01 AM No comments:
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Sippy Cup
|Jonah's first attempt with a sippy cup. December 31, 2006
One of the hardest transitions we made with Jonah was the sippy cup. He hated it. He never mastered it until we did the bottle boot camp when he was one year and three days old. We forced him to like it. It was a tough few days when we went cold turkey with the bottle. But, we persevered and he finally got it.
Micah, on the other hand, likes all things associated with food. We handed him a sippy cup for the first time a couple of weeks ago and he put it right to his mouth and drank every ounce in the cup. Apparently this transition will not be a difficult one for him like it was his big brother. I attribute some of that to us knowing which cup to try first as opposed to trying 4-6 different ones before we found one that worked with Jonah. Either way, I'm just glad this isn't a battle we are fighting this time.
Posted by Nicki Glenn at 10:54 AM 1 comment:
Labels: FIRSTS, transitions
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As I did my research on a good panacalty recipe I very soon discovered that there are as many recipes for the dish as there are days in the year. The exact ingredients that used to vary from region to region now vary from family to family.
It was a great way of reusing meats leftover from the sunday lunch, but through wartime (and rationing), this changed to tinned corned beef (bully beef). A more traditional panacalty or pan haggerty is a combination of potato, onion and cheese and layers (ie potato layer, onion layer, cheese layer and repeat until dish is almost full) … Personally I use bacon or bacon bits instead of cheese as we dont use bacon every week and it can stock pile. The little bit (250g) cheese we get each week gets consumed rather quickly. This goes well with some briefly steamed cabbage, broccoli and carrots.. but thats just personal preference.
The corned beef version was similar… but obviously replacing the bacon with the tinned meat and adding some stock and seasoning.
Modern recipes can quite often combine everything above…. heres a few Ive found on the internet…
I like loulabelle2758's recipe… sounds like a great place to hide some more hidden veg to me 🙂 http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/22712/panacalty.aspx
This recipe in the Hartlepool mail isnt too different http://www.hartlepoolmail.co.uk/news/local/panacalty-or-pan-haggerty-1-1040644
Obviously omitting the meat and adding the cheese makes this dish a wee bit more vegetarian friendly
I love the way this version adds tomatoes and basil to the dish… especially since Im a BIG tomato fan when theyre in season… I might just try this recipe 🙂 http://pigstyave.blogspot.co.uk/2007/09/postmodern-panacalty.html
This recipe was chosen as best answer on ask.com:
450g (1lb) Potatoes
110g (4oz) Cheddar or Lancashire Cheese
2 medium Onions
25g (1oz) Butter
1 tbsp Vegetable Oil
Salt and Pepper
Thinly slice the potatoes and onions and grate the cheese. Combine the butter and oil in a large frying pan.
Remove the pan from the heat and place layers of sliced potatoes, onions and cheese, reserving a little of the cheese.
Cover and cook gently for about 30 minutes or until the potatoes and onions are cooked.
Pre-heat the grill five minutes before the end of the cooking time.
Sprinkle the reserved cheese over the top of the mixture, place under grill until the cheese is golden brown and bubbling. Serve straight from the pan.
This dish could basically be made with any of you favourite or leftover veg and sunday meats. I love the idea of layering leftover sliced beef, vegetables, ions and roasted potato slices and then baking until the potatoes are crisp….YUM. A spash of gravy probably wouldnt go a miss either. YUMMMMM.


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The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently approved the drug Fulyzaq, or crofelemer, to help HIV/AIDS patients relieve diarrhea caused by antiretroviral therapy.
Diarrhea is a common side effect of antiretroviral therapies and is a common reason why HIV/AIDS patients discontinue their use or switch to other antiretrovirals. Fulyzaq was approved to only treat diarrhea that is not caused by a viral, bacterial or parasitic infection. It is taken twice a day to stop the secretion of electrolytes and water into the gastrointestinal tract.
"Currently, there are no FDA-approved therapies for HIV-associated diarrhea," Dr. Julie Beitz of the FDA's Center for Drug Evaluation and Research said. "Fulyzaq may be helpful to HIV/AIDS patients with this troublesome condition."
Fulyzaq is derived from the bright red sap of the dragon's blood, a flowering plant found in northwestern South America. It is only the second botanical prescription drug approved by the FDA.
Botanical drugs refer to those produced from one or more plants with varying degrees of purification. As with other types of drugs, botanicals are tested for both safety and efficacy before being approved. In addition, the drug's producers must be able to ensure quality control of raw materials, agricultural processes and collection methods.


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Hollow Tipped Threat; Russia Plays at Being a Great Power. Lately It Has Been Rattling Its Saber-With More Swagger Than Actual Bite
Byline: Owen Matthews (With Anna Nemtsova in Moscow and John Barry in Washington)
Stolid, ramrod-stiff Sergei Ivanov is generally not one to inspire rapturous applause. Yet that's just what Russia's former Defense minister did last month when he appeared before Parliament to announce a $189 billion program to rebuild Russian military might. There would be "revolutionary" new intercontinental ballistic missiles, submarines and aircraft carriers, an early-warning radar system and a mysterious "fifth generation" fighter plane. Was it any coincidence that, days later, the commander of Russia's Strategic Missile Forces, Gen. Nikolai Solovtsov, threatened that some of those new missiles could be "retargeted" at Poland and the Czech Republic? That would be the payback if they agree to host an antiballistic-missile system that the United States aims to deploy in Europe.
If there's a whiff of cold war in the geopolitical air these days, it clearly has something to do with Moscow's cherished ambition to restore Russia's standing as a great power. And that, in turn, requires a world-class military--or at least the semblance of it. After all, the United States has been encroaching on Russia's turf for a decade, expanding NATO to include former Soviet satellites and, now, unveiling plans for an ABM defense on its borders. Never mind U.S. assurances that the system is designed to thwart rogue attacks from the likes of Iran or North Korea. Wary Russians see it as a first step toward neutralizing their strategic forces--or, as Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov put it recently, to "launch a first strike." "The truth," says Gen. Leonid Ivashov, former deputy chief of the General Staff, "is that the cold war never ended. Russia will always stay America's strategic enemy."
And yet, for all the belligerent rhetoric, there's a big difference between now and the cold war. Then, U.S. intelligence agencies consistently overestimated the Soviet threat. Today Washington wouldn't make that mistake. When Vladimir Putin blasted America for its "unrestrained" militarism during a recent visit to Munich, U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates shrugged it off. Like the Europeans, he seemed more worried by Russia's massive arms sales--a record $6.7 billion a year, with orders from Iran and Syria--and its willingness to use energy as a political weapon. Beyond that, he recognized what should be obvious to Putin and his fellow nationalists. Russia might speak loudly, but it carries a pretty small stick.
Consider the numbers. Yes, $189 billion is a lot of money. Rising oil revenues have hiked Moscow's defense budget for 2007 to $31.3 billion, up from $8.2 billion in 2001. Still, that's less than a third of what the Kremlin spent during the Soviet era. More to the point, the Russian Army is nearly two decades older--and, like an aging man, that much less fit. The reality is that the once vaunted Red Army is in a sorry, if not abject, state.
The problem is not hardware, which can be fixed with cash. To the contrary, Russia has regained its edge in high-tech weaponry with its deadly Komet antitank missile, the Sukhoi-30MKI fighter and a new generation of short- to medium-range missiles. No, Russia's Achilles' heel is software--from poor and abused young conscripts drafted, often forcibly, for compulsory military service, to a deeply corrupt officer corps.
Just last month Russian Air Force commander Col.-Gen. Vladimir Mikhailov stunned the Kremlin establishment with a blunt speech. Of the 11,000 young men drafted into the Air Force in 2006, it concluded, more than 30 percent were "mentally unstable." An additional 10 percent suffered from drug or alcohol problems, while a further 15 percent were deemed ill or malnourished. A quarter of Mikhailov's soldiers never knew their fathers, 3 percent never knew their mothers and 3 percent were orphans. "Many draftees cannot read or write properly," says Ivashov, acknowledging the problems cited by Mikhailov. …


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Taylor Marshal and her daughter need protecting, yet the bodyguard assigned is the one man she fears the most.
Four years earlier, Taylor gave her heart to a stranger - and married him in a quick Bermuda ceremony. A week later her hopes were crushed when she finds out her new husband, Cory Ross, was a hit man. When she witnesses him take another man's life then watches her new found love fall from a cliff after being shot, her heart shatters. Now she sees Cory Ross is alive - and back in her life as her own personal bodyguard, yet how can she trust him?
Cory thought his luck had changed after his near death experience in the Bahamas. But when he looks into the eyes of the woman who he suspects had something to do with his accident, he realizes his new assignment to protect Taylor and her young daughter will be a literal nightmare. But to fall in love all over again with Taylor Marshal will be sheer torture.
- alpha
- bermuda
- billionaire
- bodyguard
- mystery
- richgirl
- romance
- sexy
- steamykisses
- suspense
- watties2018
TheVandiShow Sep 23, 2016
With an opening like that how can I not continue to read. While he didn't faint, I'm sure his internal turmoil can't be much different from hers.
chrysanthi Sep 15, 2016
I fell in love with this story from the first paragraph... #itsthetruth #notjoking
Sanais73 Sep 15, 2016
I'm soo excited to read a new book of you! Love it already!!
AubraiSternum Nov 17, 2016
Goodness, I cannot help singing Chandelier! I am so sorry, Miss Marie! 🤗
simplyunfazed Sep 18, 2016
In one chapter I'm already hooked. Can't wait for an update 😭😍👏👏
HelenGraul Sep 15, 2016
Oh my goodness!! This is truly a compelling story. If the book was completed, I would be racing through the pages to find out what would happen next!!I eagerly look forward to finding out!! You truly did a magnificent job with this first chapter!!!! :) :D


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Ahhh, another over indulgent birthday week (yes, we celebrate WEEKS around here) has come to a close. While most people jump on the resolution bandwagon around January 1st... I prefer to wait until MY new year January 26th.
Actually, I'm not big on resolutions, call me a non-conformist if you must, but I refuse to run with the rest of the lemmings making up little wishes (because they aren't really goals for 99% of people out there) that I doubt will come true, much less have any realistic plan of following up on anyway.
After a taste of weight loss success last year, I am yearning for more. What I don't understand is why it's so hard to get back INTO the groove again? It seems harder to get going again than it was to make up my mind to start to begin with.
My plan is to load up on Atkins or Slimfast shakes (the low carb, no sugar stuff) and protein bars... I know, it's not exactly healthy... but I plan to do this during the day and either have a decent breakfast or a decent dinner. Once I get the old ball rolling again I'll introduce healthy, low-carb alternatives to the high-sugar junk food I've been indulging in for the last... oh... 4 months.


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1. There are no mountains in or around Cincinnati
2. It's hard to run slowly in or around Cincinnati
3. It's starting to get really hot. 90s and muggy. Today I was drenched in sweat after a quick 4 miler only in shorts.
4. Last Wednesday I went to a state park 45 mins away to run some trails. I wasn't running happy cause the trails were extremely windy and overgrown. Glad I did the run, but not very happy. Here's a little guy I ran into:
5. Last weekend I went to Shawnee State Forest for two days and one night with a friend. Hiked in 5 miles with a backpack and hiked out the same the following day. I was planning on doing a 20 miler after we hiked in, but it ended up being a 10 miler due to the heat and general fatigue. Bridal trails were steep in portions and rocky which was a nice change of pace. I felt pretty badly though and didn't run very happy. Many ticks. The next morning I did 6 or so and was much happier. That was basically the only run that I've been happy on since 50sforyomomma.
6. I'm quite nervous that I haven't been necessarily enjoying my running the past two (?) weeks. I've been cranky and slow speeds feel worse than faster speeds. It's been so hot that I haven't really ran more than an hour in the past week.
7. I read something on http://ultrunr.com/ about hormones getting all messed up after ultras. With three 50ks in the past three months, I think my endocrine system hasn't recovered. Like I said, I've been tired and cranky and motivation isn't really there.
8. But screw that. I'm starting to feel better and am getting amped or this coming Saturday. My energy levels have been up a tad since I've dropped in mileage this past week. I'm not quite itching to run, but my legs have been shaking a bit. After not doing really anything this coming week I'm sure I'll be good on Saturday. I'm starting to think confidently and I'mma enjoy the Gore-Tex North Face Endurance Challenge 50 miler. To be honest, I'm not ideally where I'd like to be. But I'mma make the best of what I have. And I have a lot.
See you round the mountain.
ps. I found the video from 50sforYoMomma. There's a snippit of me at 5:00 and my short interview is at 5:37 :-P


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Aspects of Ancient Greek Cult
- Context - Ritual - Iconographyaf Peter Schultz
The papers in this volume are based on an international conference organized by Jesper Tae Jensen, 9-10 January 2004 at the Department of Classical Archaeology, together with the Centre for Studies of Antiquities, University of Aarhus. They illustrate the interplay between the studies of classical archaeology, religion, history, and musicology. The eight papers by the young scholars and their Nestor, Richard Hamilton, offer a fresh look at various aspects of ancient Greek cult, including the use of the word cult in the academic disciplines of Archaeology and the History of Religion, the introduction of Asklepios to Athens, and a detailed study of the topography and early architecture of the same god's sancturary on the south slope of the Athenian Akropolis. The book also contains an innovative study of the sculpture and architecture of the Philippeion at Olympia as a proto-type for Hellenistic royal ideology and portraiture. Other papers include a statistical approach to the illustration of baskets on Classical votive reliefs, a theoretical study of the role of music in ancient Greek cult, and analysis of the use of the chorus as one of the most important expressions of ancient cult in Sparta.
- Sprog:
- Engelsk
- 9788779346642
- Forlag:
- Aarhus Universitetsforlag
- Format:
- Beskyttelse:
- Digital vandmærkning
- Udgivet:
- 1. januar 2009
Andre udgaver:
- 222,00 kr.
- Straks på e-mail
- 169,95 kr.
- 52,05 kr. (23%)
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- Du køber til indkøbspris
- Medlemskab - 79 kr./måned - 1. uge gratis ?
- Leveres med det samme
- 30 dages returret
- Certificeret webshop - e-mærket


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Free Chapters of Traction Book #Chap8, #Chap17, #Chap21
Get the First 3 Chapters of "Traction" FREE – Gabriel Weinberg (founder of Duck Duck Go) co-authored a book called Traction. It's a startup guide to getting customers. He graciously offered the first 3 chapters to our community FREE. Download it here.
9:59 video sums up 14 chapters of a book coming out 11-11-2019 "What They Will NEVER Teach You at Stanford Business School"
Fashion Week's front row
What A Super Model Can Teach a Harvard MBA About Credit http://www.slideshare.net/larrychiang/what-a-super-model-can-teach-a-harvard-mba-about-credit
American Express hosts me mentoring you about FICO scores at New York Fashion Weekhttp://t.co/inxTmZAj
My Stanford Engineering video boils down 20,000 hours and moves you to the right on the entrepreneur bell curve
CEO of Duck9MIT University Entrepreneur in Residence (EIR)
Duck9 = "Deep Underground Credit Knowledge" 9
125 University Avenue/ 100
Palo Alto CA 94301
650-566-9696 (direct)
650-283-8008 (cell)
Editor of the BusinessWeek Channel "What They Don't Teach at Business School"
CNN Video Channel: http://ireport.cnn.com/people/larrychiang
Read my last 10 tweets at http://www.Twitter.com/LarryChiang
Author, NY Times Bestseller
"What They Will NEVER Teach You at Stanford Business School" comes out 11-11-14
52 Cards. Two Jokers. What They DO Teach You at Stanford Engineering
Emergency swings and cutting deals as an 9 year old
Duck9 is part of UCMS Inc.
More on #ENGR145's SHIFTING right on the entrepreneur bell curve
Begin forwarded message:
From: Derek Andersen <dereka>
Date: September 2, 2014 9:21:14 AM PDT
To: Larry Chiang <larry>
Subject: Free Chapters of Traction Book, 2015 Speakers, and Local Events
Reply-To: Derek Andersen <dereka>
Startup Grind Global, September 2014 Is this email not displaying correctly?
View it in your browser.
Hi Everyone,
Make the next 2 months count. You've got this. Start the year end sprint!!
Here are a few things to help this month:
Attend Startup Grind in Your City – Join one of hundreds of events around the world. Find an upcoming local Startup Grind event here.
Get the First 3 Chapters of "Traction" FREE – Gabriel Weinberg (founder of Duck Duck Go) co-authored a book called Traction. It's a startup guide to getting customers. He graciously offered the first 3 chapters to our community FREE. Download it here.
48Hrs Left on 2-For-1 StartupGrind 2015 Tickets – 2 for 1 Ticket Bundles end in 2 days! The first speakers are announced including legendary investor Vinod Khosla and Lyft founder Logan Green. See more speakers, videos, other details, and get your ticket by Wednesday!
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Can't sleep.
Sometimes I can't sleep because the same sentence swirls round and round my mind. It dances and spins and swims and stirs my thoughts.
The phrase of the moment is,
Opiate of the masses. Opiate of the masses Opiate of the masses opiate of the massesopiateof the masses
I wish for individual sedation but sleep does not come.
So here we are.
Carl Marx. He said Religion is the Opiate of the masses.
What a sad soul he must have been.
For the true Opiate that lulls the masses to sleep are, in fact, actual opiates. And other drugs.
I'm unclear on drugs 'cause I'm a Mormon and all but does alcohol count? I know alcohol makes people sleepy and silly and depressed. I looked up the definition of opiate but it didn't really give specifics.
True Opiates of the masses (if we're gonna get philosophical) are all those things that dull the senses.
Media does that. Like with sex. People really pay attention when you write the word sex.
Media tells folks it's cool to sleep with lots and lots of people. TROJAN MAN! Trojan man will take care of everything!
But does anyone, in the quiet of peaceful solitude, really believe promiscuity is healthy for body or spirit or mind? Individually we know better. As a society our true desires are blurred.
A society where the new morality is no morality is the real opiate.
I am terrified to raise my children in this world.
Opiate of the masses spins about my brain and I see their trusting little faces looking to me for guidance.
Who am I that I should offer guidance?
So I pray daily to my God and ask, nay BEG, for inspiration.
Help me to see things as they really are, Lord, I pray. Protect my family. Protect my children. Help me to teach them how to be happy in this life!
The answer I often hear as a response to my plea is AWAKE.
Tonight I read to my children. A passage from The Book Of Mormon
A dying father, Lehi, speaks to his children with trembling limbs before he goes to his cold and silent grave, from whence no traveler can return.
His last words to his sons are,
Awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains with which ye are bound...
Awake, my sons, put on the armor of righteousness...come forth out of obscurity, and arise from the dust... (2Nephi 1: 13-23).
I read to my children and reminded them that every morning we are given a chance to do better. And be better.
Every morning we are granted the opportunity to AWAKE. To get up and do something good.
Tonight I told them I have been guilty of sleeping whole days away with my eyes wide open. On Monday I eagerly wait for Friday. Come morning I can't wait for evening. This is not living.
Life is a gift. Every second. Every breath.
Marx was wrong. My religion does not lull me into a zombie-like sleep in which I cannot think for myself. Rather, I am taught in my beloved scripture to AWAKE.
Awake. Breathe. Love. Think. Serve. Give. Laugh. LIVE.


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Overheating still
We have a 2003 Honda civic hybrid and it was
running hot so we changed the thermostat but it
still is blowing warm air and it still running hot why
1 Answer
Did you burp the air from the system after you changed the thermostat? You could have a bad radiator cap, your fans are not coming on when you reach temperature. The passes in the radiator may be clogged and may need to be cored. The outside fins on the radiator are dirty and may need to be flushed with water and soap. Your water pump may not be workin.....
Search Honda Civic Questions
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text:
21 January 2010
mp3 buffet
An mp3 buffet has been set at our myspace page including tracks from the upcoming MAP "Fever Dream" 2xLP and excerpts from out of print titles. The samples from sold out titles will disappear as new releases come along so please bask in their tempo-rarity.
Posted by TAIGA records at 20:30


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Ok so I know it is quite late to update you on my weekend gone but I guess better late than never!
Friday night I headed to Olivia's who I haven't seen for ages and potentially may not see again for a very long time L
Anyway we just stayed in, watched TV and ate pizza catching up and recounting all of our funny stories from travelling! We also got on to the subject of men we had slept with and I showed her pictures of some of my recent conquests. She thought it was funny how none of them were similar to the other and she couldn't get a clear picture of my "type" of guy.
I think this proves that I am not really that fussy when it comes to sleeping to guys, however could I have seen myself settle down with any of them? Nope! I hope this doesn't make me sound like a bit of a floozy (or a less polite word) but I have never seen sex as something that is just done with someone you love. It isn't the way I was brought up to think like this and although my parents are not prudes we didn't really discuss sex that much. I am genuinely not sure where I get this view from but I know my brother and sister think the same as me. I see sex as a satisfaction thing. You fancy someone enough to do that and ultimately there is pretty much only one goal in my mind. Enjoy it as much as you can J
So back to my weekend. Saturday night Olivia and I went out in her town which whilst it was nice I felt like everyone looked the same, including me. Where I live you get all sorts of people on a night out and that's what I like about it! I am not saying I want to stand out but I certainly do not want to blend into a crowd.
We drunk cocktails and danced which was fun however I do have a confession to make. I was in contact with someone who has been mentioned in this blog before however I am not going to tell you who. Let's just say he was basically asking me what I wanted from him and hinting towards us having some kind of relationship which I squashed straight away and ended the conversation.
Funny how something you thought you once wanted actually turns out to be the last thing on your mind!
Have a good weekend all


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Tips To Consider When Choosing Wedding Makeup in Adelaide
As every individual have different priorities when it comes to wedding makeup, it is necessary to choose the right experts. One should also discuss with the makeup artist and convey your needs and the type of look you are expecting for the special day. It is also important to consider the overall theme, dress, your overall personality and skin tone to ensure that the makeup pattern chooses go well along. In case, if you are not able to decide on the right makeup pattern, you can also take the assistance of the experts. Researching on the net could be also a great way to find some unique options. When you are looking online, you will find comprehensive information on different types of makeup and looks you can carry on based on the event.
Find Some Amazing Deals and Offers:
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Most read Articles on Laser Clinic in Adelaide:


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Are you sick of black and tortoise being your only neutral option for an optical frame? Fear not darling clients because there's a new neutral in town. Green is the new black (and brown and tortoise) and while it may seem a bit odd to have a color as a neutral, keep in mind that green is more flexible in matching your clothes. Hate wearing black frames with a brown outfit? Green works. Does wearing brown or tortoise frames with black and grey make you cringe? Green is the perfect solution. See, it's the perfect neutral!
Designers like Barton Perreira, Salt, Initium, and Entourage of 7 have been adding green to their collections.
Initium's popular "Bullet"
Get crazy with Barton Perreira's "Duran"
Make 'em green with envy over these Entourage of 7 "Wayne" frames
Have it your way with Initium's "My Way"
We think these great frames will have everyone turning green with envy of your kickin' new neutral!


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Free Download APK Android Apps, Games, Live Wallpapers, Widgets, Themes High Speed!
Easy Download Link Userscloud, Zippyshare. No waiting times. No limits.
I'm a ninja, I am very handsome and a little fat! However, I am only 5 cm upward jump and jump. God wants me to train me so that I could fly upward. She is a wonderful spring season training plans for me. The above description is related to S pring Ninja game. in this game you play as a skilled player you have a duty to help this little ninja to jump to the top flight and. together several points to hook to the top flight.
Main features:
Scoring numerous and abundant
The gameplay is unique and attractive
Very good graphics


text:
ERIC Number: ED046965
Record Type: RIE
Publication Date: 1969
Pages: 59
Abstractor: N/A
Reference Count: N/A
A Study of the Effect of the Cooperating Teacher on the Verbal Classroom Interaction of Student Teachers in Secondary English.
Mitchell, James Wayne
This study investigated the extent of the relationship between the classroom verbal behavior of the cooperating teacher and that of the student teacher to determine if the student teacher imitated the verbal classroom behavior of the cooperating teacher. Thirty-two student teachers and 32 cooperating public secondary school teachers participating in a student teaching program took part in the study, while 32 public school teachers not in the student teaching program formed a control group. Flanders' System of Interaction Analysis was used to record the verbal classroom interchange, and indirect-direct (I/D) ratios were calculated for each teacher. Correlation coefficients were computed between the I/D ratios of the three groups. Only that between the student teachers and cooperating teachers (.46) was significant (at the .01 level). A significant relationship was also found between cooperating teachers and the control teachers regarding the amount of student talk. The findings implied that cooperating teachers should be selected carefully and given orientation. (Author/DD)
Descriptors: Cooperating Teachers, Educational Research, Secondary Education, Student Teaching, Teacher Behavior, Verbal Communication
University Microfilms, A Xerox Company, 300 N. Zeeb Rd., Ann Arbor, Michigan 48103 (order No. 70-9144, MFilm $3.00, Xerography $3.00)
Publication Type: N/A
Education Level: N/A
Audience: N/A
Language: N/A
Sponsor: N/A
Authoring Institution: N/A
Note: Ed.D. Dissertation, North Texas State University