text:
If you want to start your own small business and have a desire to see the world, consider the many opportunities for entrepreneurs in the travel industry.
If you think the Internet destroyed all small travel agencies and travel-related small businesses, well, think again.
Recently, I was invited on a flight with leaders in the travel industry and had a chance to explore new prospects for travel entrepreneurs with some of the best thinkers in the field. British Airways operates a 32-seat, all-business-class flight between London City Airport and New York City, perfect for business travelers.
CBS Travel Editor Peter Greenberg was taping his radio show during the flight, and I was to be interviewed about small-business travel for his Feb. 2 program. (You can hear it at www.PeterGreenberg.com.)
At almost 9 percent of America's total gross domestic product, generating more than a trillion dollars a year, travel and tourism represent a big chunk of the overall economy. And small businesses get a share of that.
"A lot of young people are bringing exciting new approaches," said Arnie Weissmann, senior vice president and editor-in-chief of Travel Weekly. "People predicted that travel agencies would disappear, but they're still here. In 1995, there were 36,000 agencies; there are 14,000 today."
Travel agents still number almost 83,000, according to the federal Bureau of Labor Statistics. And the travel industry added 81,000 new jobs in 2012, according to the U.S. Travel Association.
In spite of news in mid-January that American Express will cut 5,400 jobs, mostly in its travel-services unit, opportunities for entrepreneurs exist.
"You won't see necessarily see the travel agency in a strip mall or on Main Street," Weissmann said. "Many of today's new travel agencies are home based. They seem invisible. But they've reduced their overhead and lowered the bar for entry into the field."
Two segments of travel agencies are doing particularly well: luxury/upscale travel and niche travel, he said.
"Any area in which a geographic location intersects with a special interest, there's an opportunity," Weissmann said. For instance, you could specialize in tango trips to South America, horseback riding trips to Ireland, culinary trips to Italy.
"Start with what you know and love. If you run marathons, organize trips around marathons," he said. And go the extra mile to stand out. Weissman cites a personal trainer who organized wellness trips, including a Maasai Warrior Boot Camp in Kenya, providing pre-trip and post-trip regimens to participants.
Greenberg's advice to entrepreneurs wanting to get into the travel business reflected the same sentiment: "We live in a world of specialization. You have to have value added. You need to offer something no one else has."
And you have to change with the times.
"It's not your grandfather's travel agency anymore," Weissmann said. "You can't just be an order taker. You have to provide a service. If you provide a substantial service, you can collect fees from travelers as well as commissions."
If Weissmann were starting a travel agency today, "I would build in lots of surprises that makes customers say, 'Wow!' For instance, a man wanted to give his wife a special 50th birthday trip, and she was enamored with Italy. His travel agent not only planned a romantic tour but hired young men to whistle at the wife in Italy."
Be entrepreneurial in your approach to a travel-related business.
Weissmann suggests independent travel agents or small agencies distinguish themselves by being able to provide services for all a traveler's needs.
"Find places to board their pets," he said. "Make sure there's fresh milk in their refrigerator when they return. Collect their mail. Do everything associated with the trip — for a fee, of course."
Greenberg was similarly upbeat about the possibilities for those seeking to create travel businesses or pursue travel careers.
"There's lots of disruption in the travel industry," he said. "Interestingly, Internet travel sites are hiring more people to actually go out and talk to customers. It's 'back to the future' in the sense of people talking face to face, not online. As much as we embrace high tech (in the travel industry), we also need to embrace high touch.
"I'm a big fan of the Internet for information, but I make deals in person," Greenberg said.
If you can come up with a unique concept, tour operators are out there to help make your concept work.
"The travel industry is dying to help you succeed," Weissmann said.
Rhonda Abrams is president of The Planning Shop and publisher of books for entrepreneurs. Her most recent book is "Entrepreneurship: A Real-World Approach." Register for Rhonda's free newsletter at PlanningShop.com. Twitter: @RhondaAbrams. Facebook: facebook.com/RhondaAbramsSmallBusiness.
Tough times for big travel agencies open niche markets for entrepreneurs
If you want to start your own small business and have a desire to see the world, consider the many opportunities for entrepreneurs in the travel industry.


text:
It looks like gay marriage is all the rage, with Hillary Clinton even coming out for it.
Apparently, it's the thing to do, with the Republican Party against it, but we also have an American public in growing majority as favoring same-sex marriage.
Well, the main source and resource to justify punishing homosexuality in the first place has been the Bible, of course. And, if we want to tell the truth about Scriptures, the Bible is very clear in its objection to homosexuality.
Leviticus condemns not homosexuality, but the behavior, the practice of such folks.
We know the phrase "man should not lie down with another man" — this to be an abomination, according to Scripture.
And, the Old Testament wasn't the only reference. The disciple Paul is the most-quoted source in the New Testament as he stated that homosexual activity was regarded as a punishment visited upon idolaters by God because of their unfaithfulness.
So, as indicated, this condition was not the sin but instead was deemed to be the punishment.
There's the Sodom and Gomorrah stuff, too — if we want to go into it. That story often is quoted to prove that the Bible condemns homosexuality.
But the real sin of Sodom was the unwillingness of the city's men to observe the laws of hospitality. The intention of the Sodomites — and this is weird — was to insult the stranger by forcing him to take the female role in the sex act.
Strong stuff.
Which leads to the point of it all: that in those pre-scientific times, people logically saw such activity as non-procreative, understandable in the tribal times when propagation was of the highest imperative.
Still today part of society does not encourage responsible and faithful relations with persons of the same sex. That continues to make the situation for the homosexual very difficult.
But times have moved on this issue, and a majority of Americans believe God created all of us equal, and that, then, it is the abuse of others through sexual crimes, etc., that is the abomination, not the love shared by two people.
Heterosexuality has its own perversions. Indeed, straight people may act out in behaviors that are horribly sinful or brutal or exploitative. For here indeed is sin. That is sin: meaning freely acting contrary to one's deeply held moral or ethical convictions, whether these come from organized religion or from a personal value system.
Isn't God pleased when each of us responds to his or her sexuality in ways that are life-giving or inspiring growth? Surely also there is righteousness here.
The God of creation speaks and declares, "I have looked out on everything I have made behold that it is very good."

subset: commoncrawl


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Ill. House Approves Legalizing Same-Sex Civil Unions
There are 52029 comments on the CBS2 story from Nov 30, 2010, titled Ill. House Approves Legalizing Same-Sex Civil Unions. In it, CBS2 reports that:
The Illinois House has approved a measure to legalize civil unions for same-sex couples.
Join the discussion below, or Read more at CBS2.
Since: Dec 07
DuPage County
#1 Dec 1, 2010
I wonder how long it'll take the Neo-Nazi Far Right Christians to mobilize against this? It's just letting gays be married, what's the big freaking deal? I'm straight, and see no harm to society.
Since: Dec 07
DuPage County
#6 Dec 1, 2010
As an emotionally stable straight person, I agree.
I'm sure in 50 years our children will look back and say things like, "remember back in the stone age when they wouldn't let gay men and women be married?"
The 'go smell farts' response above is both full of hatred and insecurity.
#8 Dec 1, 2010
Never thought so in the past but think so now. The media is DEFINITELY liberal.
" reality, what a concept"
Since: Nov 07
this one
#9 Dec 1, 2010
Like I said before, your emotionally stunted, maturity deprived and mentally challenged rantings only serve to prove the righteousness of our cause. Thanks for all your help.
#12 Dec 2, 2010
IDK my little crook county fix...can you please tell me honey???
United States
#13 Dec 2, 2010
#14 Dec 2, 2010
It will be interesting to see what the divorce rate will be. That will be another right that they will get to enjoy too!
#16 Dec 2, 2010
"Did it Hurt" -- the divorce rate is much lower among gay married couples than it is among straight ones. They also do a better job of nourishing and educating their children. Gays commit fewer crimes, and are far less likely to abuse their children.
Get your facts straight, or just keep on hating blindly. Your choice.
"Headed toward the cliff"
Since: Nov 07
Tawas City, Michigan
#17 Dec 2, 2010
The divorce rate is likely to be very low for same-sex couples, at least initially. The vast majority of those same-sex couples getting married (which by the way is NOT what Illinois just approved) are those who have been together for 10-20+ years already, so they are less likely to get divorced than the average straight couple who just met in Vegas and got drunk and decided to get a quicky marriage.
After a few decades I imagine the same-sex divorce rate will be about the same as opposite-sex divorce.
Since: Jul 10
Location hidden
#18 Dec 2, 2010
i have a lesbian friend who i promised to be her best man or what ever when she gets married. happy things are starting to progress
Since: Jul 10
Location hidden
#19 Dec 2, 2010
LIVE AND LET LIVE!! My god we only get one life, love who you want! Im straight ,married 27 years, all straight children from this union. But if one would at anytime tell me they were gay,,, this would be my response...
Well son or daughter,, doesnt it feel good to let that out!
..........followed up with.......
have you found someone that makes you happy!
Love the people ,,,,, you dont have to love their choices!
Since: Jul 10
Location hidden
#20 Dec 2, 2010
Second conversation,,, this one to the governor,,,, wth happened with medical pot bill?????????? You need to get on that!
#21 Dec 2, 2010
Good point...Marry who you want, but make divorce illegal.
Since: Jul 10
Location hidden
#22 Dec 2, 2010
i was at a poker game at my friends house when his daughter came out to everyone there, i didnt want to breath, but he was calm and told her how brave she was for telling him and he loved her, after wards i said wow you took that pretty well. he looked at me and said why what did you hear? well your daughter just said she was a lesbian. no no no! what i heard was, daddy there is no way in hell some young punk is gonna knock me up
#24 Dec 2, 2010
Join the blacks, they blame other people for their dissatisfaction in life as well. "Everyone just wants things to be fair." Well, reality check, life isn't fair. Also, think about it like this. How will civilization continue to exist with there becoming more and more gays? Last time I checked, a dude can't get another dude pregnant. Don't gay people, men in particular, have a drastically increased risk of aids? Yes they do. Isn't that expensive to treat? Yes it is. Don't most people with aids not have health care? Well, yes. Who pays for their treatments then? The taxpayer. Oh, well its seems to me the american taxpayer should be up in arms because in a round about way, this will only cost them more. It's also un-natural for a child to be reared by gay's. That is already putting them behind the 8 ball to start their life. Kids are cruel, so why would you want to subject a kid to anymore cruelty? The list goes on and on as to why this is a bad idea. Just my opinion.
Since: Jul 10
Location hidden
#25 Dec 2, 2010
first of all reared by gays. lol
#26 Dec 2, 2010
When did you decide to be straight? I thought so. We are all human and we all should have equal rights.
Since: Jul 10
Location hidden
#27 Dec 2, 2010
gay men are no more prone to aids then the average hetro couple that has anal sex. thats the price you pay when you have anal sex. if there were legal civil unions then gay couples could share medical insurance eliminating tax payer costs.
its all a timing issue. some of us are ready to move forward with life some arent
Since: Jul 10
Location hidden
#28 Dec 2, 2010
HAHAHAHA Funny!
#30 Dec 2, 2010
You were okay with just "life isn't fair" part. Everyone is born with an equal opportunity to become unequal.
However, then you went on, and ruined your stance on the issue by babbling nonsense.
1)Gays can't reproduce- while this is true, there are literally thousands of children that have been brought into the world by straight people that have been orphaned and/or abused. I, for one, would much rather have an innocent child brought up in a loving environment with two caring parents, than to leave the child in an unloving and uncaring environment where it is doomed to fail before being given an adequate chance at life.
2)Gays will cost society more money, due to an increased chance of AIDS- All right, the huge AIDS/HIV fear argument was very popular in the 90's, before people were required to have the in-depth sex education courses we have now. AIDS is spread when people engage in sexual acts with partners that either aren't informed of their partner having AIDS, which is illegal, and/or improper usage of the proper preventative measures. AIDS exists in society, sure, however, it is not exclusive to the gay community, nor should it be used as leverage against homosexuals. You make it sound as though being gay puts you at higher risk to be infected, which is untrue. Having sex with an HIV positive partner, puts you at a higher risk. Being gay does not handicap the judgment of an individual to engage in safe sex. If you're trying to use the anal sex argument, well, I'm afraid that as of 2010, more straight couples are engaging in anal activities than ever before, and, therefore, we're all at higher risk.
3) Children will be socially handicapped for having gay parents-
The reason that children are currently teased for having gay parents, is because straight parents and religious zealots tend to spout off at the mouth about how it is "wrong" or "immoral" for gays to be together. Most children don't have any concept of why being gay is wrong, they've simply been told that it's wrong, and go on believing that that must make it wrong. As gays become less discriminated against, the traditional outlook that being gay makes someone inferior will work its way out of society, and stop being an issue for children. If parents think it's wrong to be gay, that's fine, but don't plant a seed of hate in an innocent child when the only defense you have against gays is that they are different, and so you don't like them.
*Disclaimer: I am a young, straight, married male. This is purely my opinion.
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Style # 183121
AVAILABILITY: Unavailable for immediate shipment.
For a lean and balanced silhouette try these bebe jeans on for size. With a slight break at the knee and classic five-pocket design, this pair is sure to be a go-to favorite.
- 47% viscose, 26% cotton, 14% rayon, 12% polyester, 1% spandex
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- Model is 5'9" and is wearing a US size 27
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Date published: 2013-08-30
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Date published: 2013-03-08


text:
Now that the city passed on the 2013 USA Pro Challenge bicycle race, are there any spectacular initiatives to plug the gaping hole in Durangos summer special-events calendar? What will attract thousands of new visitors to town? Mildly Curious
With the exception of the Iron Horse, the city is pretty much done on the whole bike thing.
But rumor has it that Durangos planning something easier and a lot cheaper than the pedal palooza of a couple months ago.
At least thats the scuttlebutt. Nevertheless, local officials pooh-pooh any hush-hush plans which means only one thing: somethings afoot.
Action Line conferred with unreliable sources and has discovered the citys new tourism gambit.
Instead of the USA Pro Cycling Challenge, the city will host the Schmoe Challenge.
Its an average event for everyone from anywhere, a celebration for any Joe Schmoe who happens to show up in town on a warm August weekend.
We think the Schmoe Challenge will have a broader appeal to our typical workaday visitor base, one official confided. It will be an inclusive for the average Schmoe, with no need for police escorts, athlete villages or international journalists.
The Schmoe Challenge will keep several hallmarks of the Pro Challenge, such as the public art requirement.
Forget the iron roundabout sculpture. The Schmoe Challenge will accept one of those sofa-size landscape prints you can find at Home Depot for 80 bucks already framed.
And gala banquets? You bet! A royal Schmoe family will feel regally at home with Burger King and Dairy Queen. For the VIP, theres KFC.
Every big shebang has to have a grand theme. The 2012 Pro Challenges was the forgettable if not pretentious ditty, It all starts here.
The Schmoe Challenge will build upon that idea: Its gotta start someplace, so heres just fine.
Athletic events remain at the heart of the Schmoe Challenge. There will be a Run of the Mill. But the real test will be for any Schmoe to venture past 10th Street while sauntering up Main Avenue.
The Schmoe Challenge is being planned by a blue-ribbon panel a Pabst Blue Ribbon panel.
So you can expect Our Fair City to roll up the red carpet and spare every expense in making this happen.
Colorado voters recently legalized marijuana. Meanwhile, the City Council is about to ban tobacco use everywhere in town. Does this mean its easier to smoke dope than cigarettes in Durango? Sign me, J.R. Tokin
A haze hangs over this issue until tomorrow, when an activist, knee-jerk, busybody City Council likely will OK a ban on smoking outdoors in public places.
The ban will include the Animas River Trail, which parallels the narrow-gauge railroad tracks. Curiously, the train generates more smoke in one trip than the sum total of all cigarettes smoked on the trail over the last 20 years.
So this must not really be about smoke.
Confusion reigns. On the one hand, its becoming nearly impossible to use a federally regulated product (tobacco). At the same time, its becoming a cinch to use a federally prohibited product (marijuana).
No wonder why this country is so divided. We cant even agree on whats appropriate to inhale.
According to Colorados medical marijuana laws, you cant toke in plain view of the general public or in a place open to the general public.
That pretty much describes the citys approach to tobacco. So its a toss-up as to which product cigarettes or pot is easier to smoke.
If the city were serious about protecting citizens from smoke, it would ban the sale of matches and lighters.
But this would upset a key constituency group: burners of incense and smudge sticks. In other words, denizens of the Farmers Market.
The folks could easily storm City Hall on any given Saturday if denied their right to light locally made holistic patchouli-scented candles.
E-mail questions to email@example.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 80301. You can request anonymity if you wonder when the city will try to ban 32-ounce soft drinks.


text:
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
More Evidence that Other Women Are Crazy
But then I receive a letter like the one below, posted as a comment to my Open Letter to the Other Woman. And I'm reminded that some of them are bitter and self-righteous and able to rationalize (though irrationally) getting involved with a married man. Herewith, more evidence that some of these OW are downright delusional:
[Her copy is in italics. My responses are in square brackets]
If I was the other woman and you sent me this letter, I would think that your husband was right for wanting someone else. You came across in the letter as someone damaged, with possibly mental issues, who is lacking education and is unable to communicate diplomatically [Let's just start with your accusation that I'm unable to act "diplomatically"? So the OW gets to screw my husband but I'm called upon to "communicate diplomatically"? That seems a little unfair...] as well as unable to understand your husband's primarily needs [I assume you meant to type "primary", as in food, water, shelter, clothing, sex?] , and what was your responsibility and role and his role and responsibility in your marriage is. [I don't, in fact, lack education as you suggested in your second sentence. My education trained me to recognize a confusing, run-on sentence. It also trained me to recognize bullshit.]
You simply blame someone else who absolutely has no control over your communication skills, and your abilities to fulfill all of his needs and not just sexually but intellectually, and emotionally. [Just so we're clear, I'm not blaming her for whatever the hell you're saying I'm blaming her for in this, again, confusing sentence. I'm blaming her for knowingly sleeping with a married man. That's it.] You assume that the other woman knew automatically that he is married [she had dinner at my home so, yes, she knew he was married. And that he had three young children], but what if they communicated in business like manners [she mostly screamed at him about wanting a bigger office and larger salary], and talked over longer period of time, where natural connection and attraction took place over some time before either of them discussed the marital status? [Definitely NOT the case – but I don't deny that it's possible to become attracted to someone without knowing he's married. But when you do find out? That's when you gracefully bow out until he's divorced.] What if your husband was captivated by her and that is his reality that he has to suppress because his wife is threatening him and making his life a hell? [Captivated? I'm guessing you read a lot of romance. And "threatening him"? As in, if you ever cheat on me I'll cut your balls off? Well then...maybe. As for "suppression", that's pretty much what we agree to do when we get married. Not that we won't ever be attracted to another person, but that we'll suppress acting on it because cheating damages a marriage and hurts the person we promised not to hurt. If we can't or won't "suppress", that's when we call the divorce lawyers.]
What if he did not tell you because he wanted to protect the other woman? [Part of it, sure. But more likely he's protecting himself. He wants his proverbial cake...and ice cream too.] How do you know that they did not discuss how to protect him but also protect her from you? [Probably did. Isn't that in the standard cheaters' manual? How to not get caught?] What if your husband is sacrificing his own happiness for the sake of children? [If he was "sacrificing his happiness" I'm thinking he wouldn't be having an affair. Don't you mean "sacrificing his wife's happiness"?] Do you care if he is genuinely in love with you or its not relevant as long as his your "husband" on the paper? [I'm baffled. What are you saying? If he's not in love with me, there's the door. And the divorce lawyer. Why cheat?]
Why do you think would matter to her if he was in your bed, if she was on his mind from 8 am when he texted her "good morning beautiful", went to work, kept communicating to her the entire day, went home and talked again until bed time at 11 pm? [I ask again, why stay married then? If this Other Woman means so much to him, give her the dignity of a relationship in the open.] Why do you think that your possessiveness [by this you mean my desire that he not sleep with other people?] of husband you don't even care about or respect ( unless he finds someone who does ) is a true love, and his affection and genuine care for the other woman is a fantasy? [Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but only 1% of affairs survive the light of day. So yeah...fantasy.] Cant you see how deluded your assumptions are? [Jaw hanging open.] Why do you believe that a husband can not POSSIBLY fell in love with someone else? [I don't believe that. I think some of them do. I think a great many more fall in love with the reflection of themselves they see in the Other Woman's eyes] Why would you want him to suffer and be with someone he feels obligation towards rather then genuine true love? [I don't want that either. Not sure where you're getting this stuff.] And why do you think that you should suffer with him too, don't you deserve someone who loves you and is captivated by you like he is with her? [Absolutely I do. Lucky for me, I got it in my husband.]
So every situation is different, every man is different, every woman is different, every wife is different, every husband is different, every other woman is different... [Every cat is different. Every pebble is different. Every raindrop is different. This is fun...] Not everybody does it for the reasons you assumed, not everybody is in the same category at all times, not all wives are angels, not all husbands are devils, and cheaters, not all other women are sluts. [Not all children like ice cream. Not all accountants wear suits. Not all cats have fur...] That's a shallow thinking and based on your letter, its clear that you do not love your husband. [Really? I kinda thought I did.] If anybody is responsible for your marriage its you, and your husband. [Very true.] Leave other people alone and take responsibility for what you created. [Ahem...pot meet kettle. Please tell me you can see the irony of telling THE WIFE to leave THE OTHER WOMAN alone? How about she leaves married men alone?] And speaking of that, you created a prison cell out of which he wants to escape. [I did? No bars on the doors/windows – literally or metaphorically. And I wouldn't have this "betrayed wives" site if he didn't escape. He escaped quite frequently. Note to self: Install bars on doors/windows to prevent escape next time.] And if he does not escape its not because he is love with security guard who keeps him locked and starved [have you seen my husband lately. Not starved!], nor it is because he likes prison cell. [Not sure any of us like prison cell. But, as noted, he doesn't live in one.] He does not care, it is perhaps because that is the only life he used to have and needs an extensive therapy to want BETTER for himself. [He did need extensive therapy to want better for himself. He was a very mixed up person who got involved with a very mixed up person. And he's thrilled that he's created better for himself and grateful for the chance to do so. But with his wife and family, not the Other Woman. Whether she's engaged in extensive therapy go create better for herself, I know not.] Some will pick up themselves and leave, many will be simply lost. It takes time to think like a free man and get used to true love and qualities in a woman he deserved. [I think what you're saying is pretty much what we say on this site every single day. Some of these guys are jerks who are incapable of a healthy, loving relationship. They will remain lost. Others will leave, though for the record, if they marry their affair partner they are twice as likely to divorce. Still others will do the incredibly hard work of rebuilding their marriage in order to deserve the woman they've hurt the most, their wife.]
Okay...now it's my turn. I honestly don't know what you hoped to achieve with this letter. I'm assuming you're in a relationship with a married man who has convinced you that his marriage is a "prison" and his wife is some sort of demonic monster from whom you need protection. It is remotely possible this is true. It is far more likely that this guy is a lying scumbag who doesn't have the balls to be honest with either you, his wife or himself. He's not treating you with any sort of respect. Secret texts and clandestine meetings are the stuff of fantasy and manipulation, not respect.
Affairs create devastation. I know you doubt this. You seem to have convinced yourself that we betrayed wives are hollowed out loveless people who only inflict pain, not feel it. I hope you'll read through the posts and comments here. The women on this site are lovely, warm-hearted people who are going through the worst pain of their lives. It's impossible to overstate just how damaging affairs are – to whole families, even friends. Betrayal affects our sense of worth in the world, our ability to feel safe, our trust in others.
It really is as simple as not cheating. There are undoubtedly other problems in marriages that will either require addressing or, in many cases, result in the dissolution of the marriage. But to do so in a way that allows each party to move forward with dignity and worth should be everyone's objective, including that of the next person to get involved with either partner.
36 comments:
- AnonymousOctober 15, 2013 at 8:13 AM
Oh dear, oh dear!ReplyDelete
Well, how do I start to sort out this garbled mess this woman has written. My first thought is seek help. Second thought is, perhaps she has but has been given day release for rehabilitation. Third thought, delusional or just writing to gain a reaction. Perhaps bored, lonely...Whatever.
Now, Elle, you wicked person; locking your husband up and forcing him to stay in his marriage and making it difficult for him to leave and think like a free man. I'm thinking Nelson Mandela here. Think of your poor captivated husband. I actually can't stop laughing as I write this.
Thank you so much to the O/W, you have brightened my day no end and completely assured me that the O/W is a different breed. Anyone remember the film " Misery" and the personality of Kathy Bates. Yep, enough said.
Hugs to you Elle. x
- AnonymousOctober 15, 2013 at 9:30 AM
Once again, You are pure grace in the face of absolute, laugh-out-loud, absurdity. I see so much strength, wisdom, and compassion in many of the posts on this site...then you get the occassional nutso (OW usually) to remind you that there's always someone out there that sees things a little differently....though for the life of me I can't see how???? Any time I feel down about what happened in my marriage of 20 years, I find strength in recognizing that I wouldn't trade it and the personal growth that came out of the challenge of forgiveness and rebuilding, for some delusional, head-in-the-sand, second-rate kind of life.....talk about a prison! This OW needs to trehink WHO is acutally in one.Replies
At first I was angry at someone taking aim with absolutely nothing to back it up...but then, upon taking a few deep breaths (more evidence for the power of just breathing!), I recognized that I could actually have some fun with this.Delete
Good points, both of you. Kathy Bates, yes!
One of the gifts around betrayal (did I just write that??) has been my own new-found ability to open myself to compassion. This woman is locked in her own brand of hell. Prison, indeed. That compassion, however, doesn't get in the way of having a bit of fun.
- AnonymousOctober 15, 2013 at 10:25 AM
Just have to add......"More evidence that Other Women are Crazy"....and in this case, incomprehensibly stupid! That was truly painful to read....I sure hope English is her second language. Her first being the "language of love!" Oh my...crackin' myself up!ReplyDelete
- Karma's callingOctober 15, 2013 at 4:55 PM
I can't stop laughing! The absurd ramblings of a deluded, immoral OW who has apparently convinced herself that being a "bit on the side" is her civic duty to suffering husbands everywhere. Oh Honey, get a clue!ReplyDelete
- AnonymousOctober 16, 2013 at 3:38 AM
What I have learned since my D day is that yes the OW is crazy. In my case- the OW took advantage of my husband who stopped medicating his Bipolar disorder and drink and drug heavily. He was her boss. (No I am not placing the blame only on her- he is a big boy and knew what he was doing) I asked her to please leave my family alone. Instead she went to him and said they needed to kiss to get it "get it out of their system". She sent me nasty text messages- then later on she unleashed her knew "homeless guy from California" on me with harassing emails from her email account. I had to contact my PD and then recently she called me at work 30 times from 258pm-324pm. SO, I emailed her mom asking her to ask her daughter to back off and gave her my 2 police case #'s. Thank you Elle for your blog- it helps keep me sane.ReplyDelete
I accidentally deleted this comment from a reader:ReplyDelete
For the O/W:
"It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
- AnonymousOctober 16, 2013 at 9:11 AM
whenever I see the words 'genuine true love' or 'soul-mate' I reach for Tim Minchin:ReplyDelete
(If I Didn't Have You)Replies
I love that! And I think it's incredibly romantic to acknowledge that there are lots of other people we could love...but that we've chosen THIS one and are willing to, truly, forsake others. Way more romantic than believing we're simply following some pre-ordained path that will lead inevitably to one person. It's like knowing you've got the gene for some disease...and that there's nothing you can do to stop it. (Well, maybe it's not exactly like that...)Delete
- AnonymousOctober 16, 2013 at 12:11 PM
It's science Elle! Science is our friend! Not like the ow, she isn't our friend, or his friend, or her own friend frankly. I could go on.ReplyDelete
Latest episode of The Archers, the everyday story of country folk, for anyone able to get radio 4 on BBC iplayer. Helen the organic cheese-making OW is told no contact by her married man! She protests! I speak as someone held up this morning by (organic) cows on an English lane, which made me cross but not THAT cross.
- AnonymousOctober 16, 2013 at 1:55 PM
I cant help it. Call me catty, and I know I should be more compassionate and adult about this, but there is such sweet satisfaction in reading such atrocious sentence structure. The appalling grammar is sheer bliss! My husband's affair partner gave me the the same delicious gift in her parting messages that were directed to me, via my husband. The desperate and unending, e-mails, messages and texts were rife with grammatical atrocities, spelling mistakes, and in some cases, she simply made things up where she had apparently heard a phrase, but clearly had not picked up enough books in her lifetime to see how it was actually written (example: "should of" instead of "should have"). And, yes, English was her first language. In one of her (many) last missives, she contends to have "told her husband everything and consulted a lawyer". The "lawyer's" threats to me were so hilariously chock a block with spelling mistakes and errors in syntax, it was actually a comfort to have received the messages, since they betrayed her as desperate, uneducated and truly nothing special. Since she was merely a symptom of my husband's acting out, she could have been anyone. I guess that is most often the part that these deluded women choose to ignore.ReplyDelete
I dont know why Elle, but I have this feeling that I know who wrote this letter to you. Maybe I'm being paranoid but I just wanna let you know. This could be the OW if my partner. How in the world did she find your blog? I actually led her here. Few days after my dday in July, I sent her the link to you some of your blog posts. The one about how the wife suffers and also your letter to the OW. It was somehow my response to her email to me telling me that "she knows exactly how I feel, and that she cries all the time and that she suffers too", that time I couldn't think straight and though I have a lot to say, my mind couldn't make sense. Everything was messed up and i barely slept and only drank water to for days. Anyways, what made think it could be the oW were the words used there like obligations and prison cell, responsibility, suppress, the text in the morning and late at night before going to bed. The grammar errors and "diplomatically". First, if this reply came from germany, then bingo. English isn't her first language (just like me). Then the words, those words. I read them on the email sent to my partner that he forwarded to me. I also read some of these words on the email she sent me. Like when she said the H sent her morning text before going to bed "good morning beautiful", the OW of my partner said the same thing to me except some words in German. Again, I could be wrong but I just have this weird feeling after reading this post.ReplyDelete
But once again, I enjoyed reading this blog post. The way you respond to the letter is hilarious! :)) Have a nice day Elle!Replies
You might be right. I do get some readers from Germany but I don't know exactly where letters originate.
I was aware when I chose to respond that I could have been inviting trouble in. My first reaction was to let it go. But too often I think we don't push back. We don't stand our ground and point out the hypocrisy and outright insanity of their "defense." If it's true "love", then don't sneak around. Divorce, remarry and live happily ever after. Of course it's not that easy. And of course, that option doesn't seem nearly as attractive once it's an actual option. It's only appealing when it's a fantasy.
Glad you appreciated the humour...
I call the readers that leave these kind private emails or comments on my blog "Hit & Runs". The only way I can find any tolerance for their ignorance is to imagine they are extremely delusional individuals that have little self-esteem and are wallowing in self pity wishing their "true love" could be lived in the light. That kind of warped train of thought is gonna cause some anger issues. They need a place to vent. We're easy targets.ReplyDelete
The "Hit & Runs" usually lash out and then head back to their holes of secrecy, rarely waiting to read our replies to their irrational, argumentative and often unintelligible diatribe.
Responding to them is an exercise in futility...yet, like you, I continue to try. Hoping there may be one Other Woman out there reading that will finally admit her choices were/are morally bankrupt and deeply misguided.
Once again...this betrayed wife continues to dream......
Congrats to you for taking the time to challenge your "Hit & Run."Replies
I think this will be my token response. I responded not for the OW's sake...but for the sake of my readers who can see, in black and white, just how messed up many of these women are. Too often we imagine that they've got something we don't. And they do...but in the immortal words of my husband's therapist, "what they've got," he said, "you don't want."
- AnonymousOctober 18, 2013 at 5:56 AM
Dear Pink Stellar,ReplyDelete
Although that piece could have been written by the O/W that you know, I have realised that affairs and bullshit follow a pattern. 70% of the blogs I read on here I think I wrote as they are so similar.
The classics are always: We don't sleep together anymore, staying for the kids, you've given me the best sex I've ever had, if only the wife understood me the way you do, wish I'd met you years ago, of course we'll be together some day.
After looking at many other sites about infidelity, I'm staggered that the O/W falls for it, really staggered. I know that there are the cases where men have genuinely fallen for another woman and separated and sort of done the honourable thing by being up front and open with their wives/husbands, but these cases are so far and few between.
Elle, as your husband so rightly put, " What they've got, we don't want"
Like Shawn, I too hope that by putting a constructive view point of the facts to the O/W, it may deter some, although something tells me that these women do know what they're letting themselves in for. I often try and take the sympathetic approach and think, well, perhaps their parents had multiple affairs, they have low self esteem, they only have a shallow personality so they cannot hold their own as a woman/mother/spouse involving good family decisions. They must feel bitterness and bile within themselves for being let down or taken for a ride so often.
In the first few months after D Day I thought I had lost my mind. It must of been me that was all wrong, that I was a pain to live with, but with this site we soon realise that we did have issues but we didn't run into the arms of others or get sucked up into a pointless and destructive relationship, and its only by reading what a strange person the other women is, that we feel that they are willing to be used. Any port in a storm!
Any O/W reading this, don't make yourself a demoralising statistic. Keep your head held high, don't put yourself in the position of shame and anger. So what if a married man makes a pass at you, I can assure you there's nothing nicer than enjoying the compliment and walking away.
- AnonymousOctober 18, 2013 at 7:59 AM
Thank you Elle. Yes, think its called " A barrel of lies dredged up for mistresses" ... I feel a book coming on.ReplyDelete
Dear Elle, some of your blogs should be really posted with a warning: "Do NOT read with a toddler sleeping in the next room; there is a risk of waking her up with your outbursts of loud laughter".ReplyDelete
[Jaw hanging open.]
[Every cat is different. Every pebble is different. Every raindrop is different. This is fun...] - these are my favorite lines. Thank you for making my day! I have not had much laugh lately.
Anyways, as this is my first post on this great site (although I have been reading you beautiful ladies for nearly 2 years), I would like to say a bit about myself and "join the club". Do I have to put my story anywhere specific?
Also, Elle, let me tell you that this site has helped me over the past months better than any therapist or expert book on the subject. I find you put everything in words exactly as I feel it, with humor and perspective that seems so effortless. Thank you!
I don't know if it helps me or not that the photo here looks a lot like the other woman on my story. I mean, if she made that face, that's her! (At least, that's my memory of her. I forced myself to let her image fade, by deleting all photos and making myself stop looking her up online.)ReplyDelete
I've read this a few times and I keep meaning to post that this other woman sounds very, VERY immature -- even taking into account English is quite likely not her first language. Her thought processes are immature. At first I thought she must be VERY young, but maybe it's not her chronological age, but her mental age. Or perhaps that's just the level of maturity that is exposed when she's trying to justify behavior that isn't easily justified.
I don't think there's just one type of other woman. They're not all evil, not all conniving and manipulative, not all immature, not all lost and confused. I guess they're all behaving selfishly (as were our husbands), but that doesn't mean they're all inherently selfish. That might just be a phase in their lives.
But this immature thinking...at least during the affair, or when justifying it afterwards....This might be a common thread, at least for many other women.
It's possible to see this as sad, even pathetic. You need help, honey. You need to grow up and look at yourself more honestly. You need to stop blaming everyone else for your own mistakes. Hey, that might be another common thread. The other woman in my story did that, in spades! And in every area of her life, not just regarding the affair.Replies
Yes, it is sad. Sadder still that too many messed up people hurt the rest of us in the form of collateral damage. Like drunk drivers.
Great analogy!Delete
The other woman in my story was "going through a difficult time." She was turning 50 and having trouble with that landmark, along with feeling alone and desperate. She had been serial dating, never finding the right person. No man was good enough for her (except, apparently, my husband -- although who knows how long he would have been up to her standards). Her marriage had fallen apart years before, due to her husband cheating with her sister and refusing to do the work to reconcile, and she was still bitter and angry about that.
So she was in a bad state of mind, and rather than handling it constructively, she went ahead with an affair that she knew was wrong and reportedly "fought" all along. (You didn't fight hard enough.)
I can now see that as immature thinking. She behaved like a child: "I'm hurt and scared and angry, so I'll just ignore the feelings of this around me, and trample on them despite knowing exactly what damage I'm doing." Kind of a long term, adult- themed temper tantrum, don't you think?
So, yeah, I'm the "victim" of a hit and run accident by a drunken, immature driver who disregarded all of the consequences of her actions.
(Of course I work hard to not to think of myself as a victim. It's just apt in that sentence.)
Put in that light, maybe, hopefully, I'm a step closer to letting her go in my mind. It's such a long process!
It is a long process. Longer than any of us would imagine before we go through it. That said, you sound well on your way.Delete
- AnonymousOctober 29, 2013 at 7:44 PM
Wow...some people will believe anything...ReplyDelete
- AnonymousDecember 26, 2013 at 6:17 AM
Trapped, eh? So that's why when I started packing his things, he begged me to let him stay?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJanuary 8, 2014 at 6:15 AM
I am having a somewhat difficult time getting the OW out of my life. After my husband broke things off with her she flew into a fit of rage and sent me a letter telling me all about their relationship. I was devastated. My husband and I had been going to therapy together 6 months before I got her letter and I was finally feeling safe with him and in love and back on track. She sent me the letter so that I'd leave him as well and when I didn't she decided to write a blog using our full names, where we graduated from, places we lived.. you name it. Anything you could think of she tagged so her greatly exaggerate piece of hurtful fiction could be shared with the world. Even with our children. It was designed to be as hurtful as possible and you could tell she spent a long time crafting her story. She has since removed our names after several emails and a couple of phone calls from my husband, but to this day you can still see a picture of the the two she posted as a couple in google images when you type in MY name. It keeps this hate alive for her inside me and fuels fear about what she could do next. I just want her out of our lives forever. Why can't she just move on and leave us alone? I want to get to a place where my husband and I can start over but I don't know how.. I want to be the funny, charming, peaceful person he fell in love with but there's always this fear or agony that gets in the way. I felt like I was doing so much better until she released her blog and I found out her ugly detailed story and I fee like I'm at square one. She wanted to marry him, hoping he'd just desert out kids and me and start over with her. He clearly never loved her and told her such crazy lies about his life that I had to wonder if he had a different personality bumping around in that head of his. When he was with her he only ever told me he had a huge project at work, or he had to get a proposal written, or something like that. He spent about 10 nights away from home during the month, but always came home looking exhausted like he had worked all night. How do you deal with the OW who is on the warpath? We don't even live in the same sate anymore! It was 4 months after he left that she wrote this public story. When is she going to let us be and accept that he wanted to start over with his wife and kids?!?ReplyDeleteReplies
I'm so sorry. This woman is clearly completely nuts and utterly without dignity or self-respect.Delete
I don't think you have any recourse other than to cut her off as much as possible. At this point, I don't think she can do any more damage. She's already broadcast to everyone…revealing herself to be a total lunatic in the process.
As much as it's completely unfair, I think you're just going to have to wait it out. I suspect that once she's involved with someone else (and these women always get involved with someone else), she might be inclined to let it go. Or it will just get old and she'll move onto ruining someone else's life. For a lot of these women, attention and drama are oxygen. The less you give them, the more they wither. I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you more. In the meantime, try and take heart is the (true) adage that living well is the best revenge.
- AnonymousJanuary 25, 2014 at 1:07 PM
I come here every once in a while to remind myself that I'm not the only one this happens to. The month you wrote this (October) was the 3 year anniversary of the beginning of my husband's affair. Two days from now will be the 3rd anniversary of D-day. This crazy lady who wrote you that email could so have been my husband's OW. She thinks she is very intelligent and that she "sees people as they really are". According to her my husband stayed because I threaten him and he is afraid of me. She was afraid of me. That is a GOOD thing. Only bit of sanity about her. I love her assessment of me and my personality which was totally based on my husband's lies to her and himself. Yes I had issues. No I wasn't born with them he created them. He created the awful condition of our marriage at the time and I made it worse. So, I have resolved to no longer make it worse. She thinks that he was her soul mate, yet claims he was a mistake and not that great in bed. Yet every 6-8 months we are faced with another attempt to contact. She claims she is over him and doesn't want him but feels sorry that he has resigned himself to living with such a horrible person as me. Yet she is still getting others to try to contact him on her behalf.So....she is a nut just like the one you wrote about.ReplyDelete
What is reality? Here is where I am two days from year 3: My husband is a kinder person these days. He has turned back to God and is working on the flaws in him that led him to do such a thing with such a person to begin with. No, I don't have the marriage I dreamed of. I've resigned myself to the knowledge that he ended it with her and stayed with me because he wanted to be right with God and do the right thing not because he is in love with me. He loved her. I know that. Since then I have found cards he had tucked away to give to her. He hid them and forgot where they were and I came across them when cleaning out the hiding places. It is crushing to know how he felt about her. I don't get such heart felt, romantic cards. I still don't. I usually don't get one on special occasions (if I do it is usually in the form of a funny card). I have never gotten a romantic apology card, not even after the affair but I found one that he had bought for her but didn't get to send because he was hospitalized and afterward broke it off with her.
I know I will never again have romance in my life. I know that he is no longer so concerned with his sex life and how often he has sex because he now seldom ask even though I am more than willing. I often am the one who ask now. Ironic huh? I also know that he cares about me but is here to do the right thing. Despite what he told her I love him. I'm not here because of the financial security. In fact, he lost his job months ago and we have never been in such financial ciaos. I don't have the same hopes for my life that I used to but there is one thing I can take great satisfaction from: he may only be here to do the right thing but he isn't with her. I may not ever get to have the marriage and love I want but she will never have what she thinks she had either. Fair enough!Replies
I worry that you've fallen into a place where I think many of us do -- you can see that your marriage is better than it was (at least when your husband was cheating) but assume that's as good as it's going to get. I think there's a ton of pain in your letter, around feeling rejected sexually, around feeling as if the OW had something in your husband that he won't give you.
I know money is an issue right now but I'd urge you to nonetheless do what you can to create a better marriage. As long as you're going to keep him, you might as well enjoy him. It sounds incredibly cliché but what about date nights? Time for the two of you to do something you enjoy together. What about trying to change things up sexually? It means making yourself vulnerable, which I think is terrifying for you (and me, too!!). It means opening up all that pain you've pushed down...and risking rejection. But I think you have so much more to offer him and yourself than you're giving. Your life shouldn't be about depriving her...but enjoying yourself. She's likely moved on. Whether she's happy or not, who knows and who cares. This needs to be about you and what you want. Scary, yep. But so much more rewarding than living a half-life.
- AnonymousFebruary 4, 2014 at 1:00 PM
There are no funds for date night. We can't even pay the bills (just the living expenses). As for our sex life it's not about it being boring it is about my telling him I'm interest and him refusing to come to bed when I do so that he can avoid me. He spends more time with me otherwise but when it comes time to go to bed he won't go even if I tell him I'd like some alone time with him he just says "I'll be there in a few minutes" but never comes to bed until he knows I'm asleep. I love my husband but hate what he has done to the person I used to be and to my life. I don't know if it will ever be right. Maybe she has moved on. It has been 8 months (as far as I know) since contact was attempted. If that is true I think that sucks too.ReplyDeleteReplies
There's clearly some reason your husband is avoiding you sexually. Will he talk to you about it? It's undoubtedly HIS stuff (he's dealing with shame or guilt or fear of asking you to try certain things or who knows what) but until you two can have an open conversation about it, it won't magically get better.
Can you tell him how much it hurts you when he ignores you? Could you try just hugging each other? Could you ask him to just hold you? You're likely feeling so rejected, which is doubly hard in the wake of betrayal.
See if he'll talk to you. No recriminations. No dragging out everything he did to screw things up. Just two people sharing their fears and hopes and thoughts.
Hi Elle..ReplyDelete
may I ask.. do they really think they are not in the wrong... at all? That what they did was not their fault.. at all...?Replies
As our letter writer so eloquently pointed out, "all wives are different, all husbands are different, all other women are different..." Which is completely true. While I have a hard time ever rationalizing that it's okay to get involved with a married man, it doesn't follow that anyone who does is morally bankrupt. There are undoubtedly exceptions. Some simply don't care ("I didn't take any marriage vows," they say), some fall for the bullshit offered up by married men ("she doesn't understand me", "we no longer have sex", "we have an open marriage"...), and some either don't know or don't want to know he's married.Delete
I'm able to look back at a guy I briefly dated in my 20s. I could never quite understand our relationship. I never had his home number, he seemed to only be interested in getting me into bed (didn't work)... Now I can see how naive I was. Of course he was married. But then? I just thought he was...odd.
- AnonymousMarch 3, 2014 at 11:44 AM
Thank you so much for your response to the OW. Like others, I took great pleasure in your comments to her crazy rant :) I found out about my husband's affair 8 weeks ago. The affair lasted only 3 months, but the damage to my family and myself seems endless. He has literally begged for my forgiveness and we are committed to working on our marriage, but the OW has become a bit of an obsession for me. After I found out, my husband sent the OW an email ending the affair, to which she promptly sent an email to me! It too was full of grammatical and spelling errors (yep, made me smile when I read it), but she went on to announce how she was not going to be sorry for having an affair with my husband (she knew he was married), because she had a horrible marriage; therefore, justified in her actions (insert jaw hanging open here). She then went on to say that my husband was not telling me everything (don't worry, I had 3 months of emails that let me know I knew everything... and then some), and that he was probably telling me she was crazy, followed with the line "and that is not true!" - Thy think thou protests too much :) I never responded and/or contacted her after her rant, which is uncommon for me. I don't typically let things go without a bit more dialogue, but your response to the OW filled this nagging feeling inside me - thank you! It feels like you responded to all of the crazy OW out there on behalf of betrayed wives. I feel a bit more healed as a result - letting me know that I am not alone in all of this.ReplyDelete
Your post and your readers' comments are one of the first things I read this morning - and I laughed until I cried. Good answers, good answers.ReplyDelete


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Man, you watchin' the Strikeforce show Saturday night? Are you serious homeboy? I would not miss that for the world! Wifey is going over to her sisters and all my boys are comin' over and you're invited!
by ronmetrx1 June 18, 2011


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posted by Thom Holwerda on Sat 3rd Feb 2007 16:43 UTC, submitted by mwtomlinson
The Free Software Foundation is reviewing Novell's right to sell new versions of Linux operating system software after the open-source community criticized Novell for teaming up with Microsoft. "The community of people wants to do anything they can to interfere with this deal and all deals like it. They have every reason to be deeply concerned that this is the beginning of a significant patent aggression by Microsoft," Eben Moglen, the Foundation's general counsel, said on Friday. Update: The FSF claims this is being hyped.


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How to Contact Kalyn
Kalyn's Kitchen is my personal blog, where I share recipes I'm cooking in my own kitchen. I hope my blog is a resource for anyone who likes the kind of deliciously healthy low-carb recipes this blog is known for.
How to Contact Kalyn:
Answering Questions from Readers:
I love to hear from people who are readers of Kalyn's Kitchen and will do my best to answer simple questions, although I don't have the training or the time to give full-fledged dieting advice. If your question is about a specific recipe, please consider leaving it as a comment on that post so others can benefit from the answer.
How to Leave a Comment:
To leave a comment, just click the link that says *Comments* at the end of the post. If you have a website you can choose one of the OpenID choices from the dropdown menu. If you're not registered with one of those choices you will have to use your Google Account in order to comment. (I used to accept anonymous comments, but due to excessive comment spam I had to stop allowing them.) Type the comment and then click *Publish Your Comment.* If the post is more than two weeks old, you'll have to click the box to show you're a human and not a spam-bot, and the comment will come to me in an e-mail and won't show up on the blog until I publish it. I will try to respond as quickly as I can.
Reach me Through Social Media:
I try to check in with Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Google+ a few times each day, and I try to respond to people who reach me there, but I can't always keep up with comments on social media so if you really need to reach me, leaving a comment on the blog or sending e-mail is better.
My Thoughts About Reviewing Cookbooks or Products
This blog is about what I'm cooking in my own kitchen, so I'm only interested in talking about cookbooks or products I'm personally using and would happily buy again. Because I have limited time to try new products or cookbooks, I have decided to no longer accept books or other products for review. I do love to mention cookbooks I'm using and talk about my favorite products on the blog, but when I do that I enjoy being able to tell my readers that I bought them myself. (If you're a food blogger who has written a book, feel free to drop me a line to let me know about it and if it interests me I'll be happy to buy your book.)
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Celebrating the timeless beauty of Asian religious art, this personal retreat blends shape and color with an array of sensual textures for a look that says: touch me. Soapstone, bronze, ivory, wood, clay, even woven hemp – each has its own personality and unique character. Each seems to whisper its history to the lush palms that become a living green curtain just beyond.
Like a cotton candy confectionary, this window box seat has an airy, delicate sweetness. Framed by intertwining swaths of hot pink and white, this a private place where daydreams thrive. Plump cushions in different textures and shades of pink or white can be hugged, slept on, or simply displayed under the watchful eye of a family of teddy bears cuddled up together on bookshelves or reclining in the room's matched pink chair.
And just when you thought table legs were boring. This high-stepping breakfast table is topped with glass and sure to bring a smile to your lips. Whether your love is the plains of New Mexico or the wild Colorado mountains, you're sure to be inspired toward country style hospitality as you serve up the soufflé here.
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The suspect arrested Thursday in the shooting death of his college classmate near Asher was formally charged in Pottawatomie County District Court Friday and remains jailed without bond.
The suspect arrested Thursday in the shooting death of his college classmate near Asher was formally charged in Pottawatomie County District Court Friday and remains jailed without bond.
Jerrod Murray, 18, from Asher, faces a charge of felony first-degree murder, deliberate intent.
Wearing jail oranges, handcuffs and shackles, Murray made an initial court appearance Friday as formal charges were filed, one day following the homicide.
"Justice needs to be quick…the manner is which he committed the crime is horrifying and justice needs to be served," District Attorney Richard Smothermon said. "It was a random, senseless murder just to gratify the defendant."
The East Central University student is being held in the Pottawatomie County Public Safety Center; his next court date is scheduled Jan. 8.
Murray is accused in the shooting death of Generro Sanchez, 18, who also was student at ECU in Ada. Both the suspect and victim were freshmen and reportedly lived in the dorms on campus.
Murray is accused of offering Sanchez $20 to take him on a trip to Walmart, but instead forced him at gunpoint to drive to an area about five miles north of Asher, where arrest affidavit alleges Murray shot and killed his classmate and left is body in the ditch.
Murray allegedly admitted to investigators that he'd been planning to kill someone for the past three weeks, according to the arrest affidavit, and targeted Sanchez, who he only knew by his first name.
The victim's body was found in a ditch along Substation Road, which is located south of U.S. 177 and SH 59.
Asher police reported some type of suspicious activity in that area and it was about 2:34 a.m. Thursday when Deputy Justin Abbott called Undersheriff Travis Palmer about the discovery of the body, later identified as Sanchez.
As Palmer was responding, he heard radio traffic about a possible suspect seen walking north on U.S. 177.
Palmer located Murray near Sing Road and asked him if he had a gun.
Murray said, "No sir, it's in the truck and I am the guy you're after," the arrest affidavit reads.
Palmer asked Murray why deputies would be looking for him.
Murray responded with, "Cause of the guy I shot and put in the ditch on Substation Road," according to the affidavit.
The affidavit shows Murray admitted that he made a plan to kill someone about three weeks ago but didn't know who he'd kill or when, but knew he would do it around Substation Road because he knew that area.
According to the interview, Murray allegedly used a .40-caliber firearm that was stolen from a house in Asher.
Murray allegedly told investigators that he shot Sanchez twice before he "rolled the victim down into a ditch," where he covered him up with leaves and sticks, the affidavit alleges.
As he covered the body, a car approached the area and the driver stopped. Murray allegedly told that passerby that he had fallen asleep and then asked for a ride to his grandmother's home in Asher, the document shows.
The passerby apparently took Murray to Asher, then it is believed that Murray was allegedly walking northbound on U.S. 177 back to the crime scene when Palmer found him walking, Booth said.
During his interview, Palmer asked Murray, who said he had no remorse of the killing, what he thought a person should get for killing someone.
The arrest affidavit shows Murray said, "Death — an eye for an eye."
Smothermon said while the death penalty is being considered, it's still too early to make that decision in this case.
Sanchez is reported to be from Stuart, Okla.
While the crime happened away from the ECU campus, it is also affecting the student body there so counselors are ready to assist students.
Dean Boomer Appleman said student safety is a top priority.
"We support our students and counseling is available," Appleman said.
Watch for updates.


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My first encounter with the name James P. Johnson was a fleeting reference to the composer in a liner note for a Gershwin recording, but it was enough to pique my curiosity. I contacted Robert Kimball, the author of the notes, and he gave me some intriguing background on Johnson.
In addition to composing the singular piece of music that came to symbolize the 1920s in America, "The Charleston," Johnson aspired to compose music for symphony orchestra and had actually written several orchestral pieces that were premiered at Carnegie Hall in the early 1940s. I was beyond eager to get my hands on that music, but Kimball was quite discouraging. He told me that all of the parts and scores were long gone; there was no existing recording of the Carnegie Hall event, and there was no chance that I could find that music. He said many people had tried unsuccessfully over the years.
Little did he know that "can't" is my four-letter motivator!
I became obsessed with James P. Johnson, and my quest to find, restore and revive his orchestral music led me — along with my dear friend and willing collaborator Leslie Stifelman (currently music director of Chicago on Broadway) — on a six-year odyssey in search of Johnsons' long-lost orchestral music.
My passion for that unique period in America's musical history, when popular music and "serious" music collided and cross-pollinated to create a whole new art form, drove me forward on my quest. The possibility of discovering a missing musical link between Scott Joplin and Duke Ellington was too exciting a prospect to resist at least trying.
James P. Johnson is one of those great unsung American creators who, for various reasons, led a life under the radar. He suffered several strokes during his lifetime and was a quiet, retiring personality in a field of extroverts. But his talent, both as pianist and as composer, was bigger than life. He essentially invented what we today call stride piano style, whereby the pianist's left hand jumps absurd distances to cover the entire lower half of the piano.
Johnson had big aspirations to write "serious" symphonic music and join the ranks of Gershwin. But being African-American in 1930s America meant that you could only compose for popular venues, so Johnson wrote numerous hit shows for black Broadway.
Johnson's piano roll of his hit tune "Carolina Shout" became the measuring stick for every up-and-coming piano player. Duke Ellington learned his fingerings from feeling along as Johnson's piano roll played in slow motion, and Johnson himself blew everyone away in "cutting contests" (the virtuosic piano-playing marathons) up until Art Tatum emerged on the scene.
Fortunately for Leslie and me, we teamed up with Scott Brown, a medical student at Yale who was writing a biography on Johnson and willingly joined our investigative hunt for his music. It was truly a detective's challenge, especially in the days before the Internet. Together we visited all of Johnson's surviving relatives, and eventually gained their trust enough to be shown a treasure trove of memorabilia stored in the attic of his daughter, Arceola Glover, in Riverside, Calif.
After years of searching, the moment when she brought out stacks of sheet music wrapped in plastic, preserved like an old photo album, was unbelievable. We gently pawed through the yellowed pages. This was the long-lost music from that Carnegie Hall concert! While the music clearly needed attention — and some was obviously missing — we could see its greatness and understood even more profoundly the enormous talent of this great American creator.
We painstakingly restored the scores and recopied all of the music in preparation for performances at Lincoln Center, under the auspices of the Lincoln Center jazz program at Avery Fisher Hall, and a recording for the MusicMasters label (now reissued on Nimbus). We have made all of the music available to orchestras for performance and are incredibly proud to have played a part in preserving this important piece of our shared American legacy.
As Black History Month gets underway, we'd like to spend some time listening to one of our country's most influential African-American composers: James P. Johnson. His romping tune, "The Charleston," became a soundtrack for the Roaring Twenties. As a pianist, he prepared the way for jazz and influenced everyone from Count Basie to Duke Ellington to Art Tatum. His most famous student was Fats Waller. Now, we're listening to a 1994 recording of James Johnson's music. It's performed by the Concordia Orchestra and led by our friend Marin Alsop. The maestra went on a quest to unearth some of James P. Johnson's lesser-known symphonic music, including his "Harlem Symphony" from 1932.
SIMON: Of course, Marin Alsop is now music director of the Baltimore Symphony. And she joins us from the studios of WYPR in Baltimore. Thanks so much for being with us, maestra.
MARIN ALSOP: Great to be here, Scott.
SIMON: And what set you off on this search?
ALSOP: Well, I've always had a love for American jazz and a real curiosity about it. My father, in addition to being concertmaster of the New York City Ballet, he played saxophone in the Fred Waring Band. So, he was always playing swing music as I grew up. And I tried to be a snob about it most of my life, but I eventually fell in love with it. So, I started listening to as much as possible. And one day I was listening to a Gershwin recording and reading the liner notes. And Robert Kimball, who's a Gershwin expert, was writing about this composer named James P. Johnson and how he had written all this music. But it was played once in Carnegie Hall and then no one knows what happened to it. And that was the first time I had ever heard the name James P. Johnson.
SIMON: Well, let's listen to another stretch of the "Harlem Symphony", if we could. And this is from the fourth movement. It's called "Baptist Mission."
SIMON: Help us understand some of the crossover between Gershwin and James P. Johnson.
ALSOP: Well, of course, historically, being African-American during that time period, the 1920s, '30s, '40s, the avenues that were open to George Gershwin were simply not open to James P. Johnson. He aspired to write music for symphony orchestra, to be a serious composer. He studied diligently with most of the leading composition teachers of the day. And he, like, George Gershwin, ended up being a recording artist making piano rolls for the Aeolian Piano Company, among others. And I think there is a record of them actually having met under that auspices at some point.
SIMON: Let's listen to one of those piano roll composition. This is James P. Johnson playing one of his most famous pieces, "Carolina Shout."
JAMES P. JOHNSON: (Playing)
SIMON: So, this is called stride piano-style?
ALSOP: That's right. And Johnson is really known as the father of the stride piano style. The stride style is really that jumping left hand. You know, I imagine that one day his bass player didn't show up, so he had to play all the parts, you know. But it required amazing dexterity, which Johnson had. And he used to participate in what were called at the time cutting contests. They were like little piano competitions, you know, in the back room. And he would always win. And he won for years and year until Art Tatum showed up.
SIMON: Oh, well.
SIMON: That's understandable, that's understandable.
ALSOP: As a matter of fact, pianists like Duke Ellington, they learned how to play the piano by slowing down the piano rolls of James P. Johnson and sort of feeling their way on the keyboard.
JOHNSON: (Playing)
SIMON: Johnson's music seems to kind of bridge the ragtime and jazz eras. I gather he grew up on the music of Scott Joplin, but he helped usher in the age of jazz, especially as a pianist, but was less recognized - at least in his lifetime - for the superb composer of orchestral music that he was. What else should we listen to?
ALSOP: Well, he wrote several piano concertos, you know, formal piano concertos, one that he called "Jazzamine," and it's rarely played. So, perhaps we should hear a little bit of that.
SIMON: Yeah, please.
SIMON: Did you just walk into somebody's attic and there was this sheet music? How did this happen?
ALSOP: Well, the pianist who you hear on this recording, Leslie Stifelman, my good friend and I, we set out to try to find this music. And we thought it would be impossible, but we were able to find all of this incredible music in an attic of one of his only surviving children. And the family, I think they were justifiably suspicious of people who, you know - a lot of people had taken advantage of Johnson during his lifetime. But I think after she got to know and realized that we were all about the music, believe it or not, she went up to her attic and brought down boxes and boxes of music. And I opened it up and, you know, I immediately knew that this was the missing music. And a lot of it was not in great shape, but I realized that we could reconstruct most of these pieces. And, I don't know, it was like Christmas times 100 for me.
SIMON: Has the music caught on? Are there orchestras performing it?
ALSOP: Oh, I'm happy to say that many orchestras now perform this music. The Baltimore Symphony has played several of the pieces. And what's nice is it's something to play. You know, you compare it with Gershwin. There are real opportunities to program this music in the great concert halls of the world. And it just makes me feel so great to know that James P. Johnson's aspirations are finally being realized.
SIMON: What do we want to hear going out?
ALSOP: Well, this is a tune - if I put this piece on the concert, no matter what concert it is, the audience goes wild. Maybe I should just play this at the concert and nothing else. This is a tune called "Victory Stride."
SIMON: Marin Alsop is music director of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra and an accomplished swing musician herself. Maestra, thanks for being with us.
ALSOP: Thank you, Scott.
SIMON: And you can hear more music by James P. Johnson and read an essay by Maestra Alsop about the composer all on our website, nprmusic.org. This is WEEKEND EDITION from NPR News. I'm Scott Simon. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


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If you have heard about the cashflow club and its benefits, you might be thinking from all the perspectives. If you want more information on a cashflow club such as what it is and why you need one, you can go through the following article. This article will offer you all the required information and cashflow club online / home cashflow club reviews criterias. In addition, you will come to know how to start a 101 cashflow club in Kigali.
What a cashflow club is
What is a cashflow club (Wikipedia teaches)? How will it help to refine your skill? Can you start it on your own in Kigali? Cashflow 101 boardgame is an educational game designed to teach investors some concepts including finance, accounting, and investing. The cashflow 101 boardgme is created by the famous "Rich Dad Poor Dad" author Robert Kiyosaki. The book is one of the best-selling personal finance books of all times. It has been in the New York Times Best Seller list for around ten years. Besides, the book is translated into thirty languages.
The author of this bestselling book Robert Kiyosaki has designed the cashflow game to help the investors with financial knowledge and to sharpen their decision-making ability. You can say that it is an educational game that can help to improve your thinking ability in a free environment.
We all are in the different professions. We are earning depending on our ability, experience, and knowledge. We can say that we are in the rat race to achieve more. The goal of this board game is to help the people to come out of that rat race by accumulating more passive money to meet your extra expenditure.
You can do that by focusing both on the small and large deals. It can be like investing in the stock market, starting a small business, or buying multi-units. If the market condition is favorable, you can earn more from your investment. You can also expect adverse conditions.
But when the passive income will exceed your expenses, you can enter to the second phase, called "Fast Track". You will find this phase more inspiring as it will comprise dreams. These are the really big deals and can help you to earn much more. To win this phase, you will have to either land on your dream or you can accumulate $50,000/month as cashflow. The concept is unique and innovative. You will love it. At the same time, it will help to hone your financial skill.
The goal of a Cashflow 101 club
It is an educational board game. It is designed to help the people with the financial knowledge. It can be useful for any including the kids and investors. The game teaches finances, investing, and accounting. It offers wealth-creating knowledge that the creator, Robert Kiyosaki, has learned from his rich father.
The main goal of this game is to help the players to recognize the opportunities to make wealth on a day to day life. The best part of this game is that it is easy to play. You will have a lot of fun. Many players have also revealed that they have applied these principles in their lives to earn more and to get the financial freedom. The game is not thought for a specific business. Anyone can play it to take the right decision on investments.
If you are interested to play this game and you want to enjoy it most, you can play it with a group of like-minded people. When all of you will play with the same dream, you can expect a better result. You will not find the game more satisfying if you play it with your family and friends if they do not share the same financial dreams. Cashflow game club will help you finding the right people that want escaping from the rat race too.
Things to discover in this game:
- It will develop your strategic skill and hone your financial intelligence.
- You will be able to better manage your monthly income statement and can make your money to work harder for your benefits.
- It will improve your mental ability and help you to think smart and to grow rich.
- You will learn to differentiate between assets and liabilities.
- You will be able to recognize the opportunities around you.
- It will enable you to focus more on the passive income instead of completely relying on the earned income.
- You will be able to understand the stock market and to invest wisely.
- You will come to know how to capitalize the opportunities by using other people's money, skill, and time to become wealthy and rich.
How to start a cashflow club in Kigali
If you do not find an official cashflow club in Kigali or if you looked at all cashflow 101 clubs here without finding what you need, you can start one by yourself. Starting a cashflow club (or and home cashflow club) could be pretty simple. You can go through the following steps:
- Use your local paper to place ads.
- You will need a venue. You can use your house as the first-time venue. You can also consider the local library, coffee shop, or any place that is not crowded. You will need undisturbed attention to play the game.
- Initially, you can start with a small group of three to seven people. You will have to purchase theCashflow 101 to start the game.
- Once you will be able to satisfy the players and to create the space, you can consider a large venue. You will have to spend more for the large venue. Therefore, make sure that other members are contributing.
- Continue giving add on the local paper for the promotion and to get the attention of the more players. With more numbers, you will be able to create a better venue.
- You can consider a formal structure with the paid membership and committee when you think that you have a strong base and players rely on you more and they will not hesitate to pay an amount for the membership.
- Once your club will get the desired success, you can consider adding it to the list of the worldwide clubs on the Rich Dad website. It will help you to find more interested players in Kigali. An online presence will also offer you more success.
- Use Meetup.com to setup and schedule your meetings
Playing a cashflow will be a lot of fun if you play it with the players with similar goal and expertise. If you are a beginner, you might need more practice to master the game and to enjoy it more! Have a good money making with Cashflow 101 Club!See also...
<< Basseterre Ruhengeri>>


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Without even trying, Hannibal watercolor artist Brenda Beck Fisher may have come one step closer to her goal of becoming a full-time artist.
Without even trying, Hannibal watercolor artist Brenda Beck Fisher may have come one step closer to her goal of becoming a full-time artist.
Currently working as program coordinator at the Hannibal Arts Council, the award-winning artist had a nice surprise a few months ago.
As the result, a picture she painted of white egrets is now adorning cans of Southgate chili being sold locally as well as nationwide, and the picture is accompanied by a brief biography of Beck Fisher.
"I did not get paid for this opportunity but am getting a lot of free publicity," Beck Fisher said. She did receive a gift of 48 cans of the chili with her picture.
Beck Fisher did not seek this publicity but received it thanks to a friend living in Nashville, the home of Vietti Foods Company. "The owner of the company likes art and wanted to help promote artists," Beck Fisher said. "They picked only 12 artists to be featured.
"Someone told him (her friend) about artists on labels, and he said he has a friend who is an artist," Beck Fisher continued.
Her friend gave the company her website, www.wix.com/beebee_wc/BrendaBeckFisher
After viewing her art, the company selected her picture of white egrets, and contacted her about using it.
Although the picture is on cans of Southgate chili, "it doesn't have anything to do with chili," Beck Fisher said. "They are promoting artists. The program is called Art of Discovery, to help expose the artist." More details about the program are on the website, www.southgatebrands.com/discovery.
The cans of chili are already on shelves in local stores, she said. "The company has begun distributing 150,000 cans in Dollar General, Family Dollar and Dollar Tree stores in 48 states.
"I have no idea how they distribute them as far as which artist's labels go to which stores. I do know that I have found cans with my art on it at one of the Dollar General stores in Hannibal."
She has heard from friends and family who discovered her picture on the cans in other places, including Virginia, Tennessee, Kansas City and Arkansas.
Beck Fisher has not yet heard from strangers, but she thinks the chili cans "are just now beginning to show up on the shelves."
Asked how long she has been an artist, Beck Fisher was quick to respond, "I was born one."
She received a degree in art, but took time out to raise four children, explaining "I haven't been able to do artwork until the end of 2001, after raising four kids."
In 2001 she began doing watercolors and now that is her chosen art form, she said "I am now striving to become a full-time artist."