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On Friday, Africans were completely shocked after listening to President Donald Trump's comments about them.
On Thursday, Donald Trump questioned why the United States would accept more immigrants from Haiti and "shithole countries" in Africa rather than places like Norway in rebuffing a bipartisan immigration deal.
"Unless it was specifically said about South Sudan, we have nothing to say," South Sudan government spokesperson Ateny Wek Ateny told The Associated Press.
"Casual Friday at the White House is soon to include hoods and tiki torches at this rate," South African media outlet Daily Maverick wrote.
"Good morning from the greatest most beautiful 'shithole country' in the world!!!" South African Broadcasting Corporation anchor Leanne Manas tweeted.
"As someone from South Shithole, Trevor is deeply offended by the president's remarks," The Daily Show tweeted of its South African-born host, Trevor Noah.
In Kenya, East Africa's economic hub, political activist Boniface Mwangi pleaded: "Please don't confuse the #shithole leaders we Africans elect with our beautiful continent."

subset: commoncrawl


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A2LA Announces Acquisition of WorkPlace Training, a Leader in Metrology and Measurement Training Services
A2LA Announces Acquisition of WorkPlace Training, a Leader in Metrology and Measurement Training Services
A2LA acquires WorkPlace Training and adds e-learning modules to its current training offerings
PR Newswire
FREDERICK, Md., Aug. 29, 2018
FREDERICK, Md., Aug. 29, 2018 /PRNewswire-PRWeb/ -- A2LA and WorkPlace Training (WPT) today announced A2LA's acquisition of WorkPlace Training. The addition of WPT's robust e-learning modules will complement A2LA's wide-reaching instructor-led classroom training offerings. E-learning modules offered by WPT include tutorials, practice, assessments and record keeping on topics such as measurement, calibration and ISO/IEC 17025.
"Partnering with A2LA gives us a unique opportunity to bring our calibration and metrology training to an even broader audience as a part of their world-class accreditation and training portfolio," said Paul Hanssen, Founder of WorkPlace Training. "We are excited to fortify our already long-term relationship with A2LA and deliver our expertise to reach even more technicians and engineers."
"A2LA is dedicated to improving measurement results that impact safety around the world, which is supported by effective training for measurement and quality assurance professionals. WorkPlace Training's reputation for providing measurement-focused e-learning training makes this a natural expansion of our training and accreditation services offerings," stated Lonnie Spires, A2LA President/CEO. "Our customers have increasingly requested A2LA to provide its world-leading training in e-learning format and we are making that a reality with the acquisition."
"The addition of WorkPlace Training completes a full spectrum of training offerings and delivery, from international standards to measurements and from instructor-led to e-learning, to bolster laboratory conformance, competence, and confidence," expressed Tim Osborne, Senior Director of Training Services. "The values, vision and mission that WPT embraced for 30 years parallels those of A2LA which results in an immediate win for the customer."
WPT was founded in 1989, with the purpose of delivering a comprehensive, relevant and current measurement science training curriculum. Since their founding, WPT has provided training for thousands of learners around the world.
About A2LA
As the largest U.S.-based multi-discipline accreditation body, A2LA offers an established infrastructure engineered with over 35 years of ISO standards development and use. A2LA accreditation programs are based on internationally-accepted criteria for competence. For over two decades, A2LA has also maintained a world-class training program, providing a large spectrum of courses designed to help organizations understand how to conform to international standards.


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State House Hopeful Matthew Wilson Chats It Up at CCHS
September 7, 2018
Filed under Features
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On the afternoon of August 29, students filled up history teacher Brian Ely's classroom to inform themselves and learn about local politics at a very special Young Democrats meeting. There to speak to them was Matthew Wilson, District 80's Democratic nominee for the State House Representatives.
On November 6 of this year Wilson will be facing off against incumbent Republican Meagan Hanson to try and win a seat in the State House to represent District 80.
"[The district] covers about 99% of Brookhaven, a very small portion of Chamblee, and this weird, jigsaw piece of Sandy Springs, which is essentially Roswell Road east to Brookhaven," he said. "It is a very strangely drawn district, but a good district nonetheless."
Prior to this election, Wilson practiced law for the past five years and before that he was a middle school teacher. He was prompted to get into this election by Taylor Bennett, the former District 80 representative in 2015-2016.
"[Bennett and I] had lunch and he told me that he decided that he wasn't going to run, but he suggested I should instead," said Wilson. "The more I thought about it the more I wanted to do it. After the 2016 election, that signaled to everyone that we have to be more involved, and for me doing more meant running for this seat."
In the 2016 presidential election, Hillary Clinton beat Donald Trump in District 80 by 14 points, which is a good sign for Wilson in this year's election.
"Elections are usually won or lost by one or two points, so when one candidate is winning by 14 points it is a landslide," he said. "Even though the party lines are pretty even in this district, about 40% Republicans, 40% Democrats, and 20% independent swing voters, those Republicans are willing to vote for Democrats depending what is on the other side of the ballot."
After a quick introduction to himself and to the election, Wilson opened up the floor to questions from the students, and soon went in depth into the platforms he supports and the ideas he has for the Georgia House. One of his main issues, as a former middle school teacher, is education funding.
"The current way funding works is, there is a certain formula to determine how much money Chamblee gets, versus how much money North Springs gets, versus how much money Griffin gets. It is based on how many students there are," he said. "The state in actuality has never fully funded the money that goes to these schools. We want to overhaul that funding formula, because it is 30+ years old and Georgia has never adequately funded it."
In addition to expanding healthcare access and passing common sense gun laws, Wilson also elaborated on further developing the transit system.
"Transit expansion is a key area where my opponent and I disagree," he said. "She says that the best thing we can do to expand transit in District 80 is to add more MARTA buses, and I don't think that that's the whole solution. If you don't ride a bus now, you aren't going to start riding one because there are more of them. But if we can expand MARTA trains to go more places, then that can serve a whole lot more people than just a few buses."
Another issue close to Wilson personally is LGBT adoption rights.
"As a gay man, for the past five years I have been lobbying at the Capitol against the 'religious freedom bills'. I've been very proud of the progress we've been able to make, but this past year the discussion has turned to reforming Georgia's adoption laws to make it all but impossible for LGBT couples in Georgia to adopt, and that hits me personally because I would want to start a family, and if these people get their way I wouldn't be able to do that," he said. "I'm about as Georgia as it gets. I grew up in Griffin, I went to UGA, and I plan to live and die in Georgia, so for someone to say, well they're more Georgian than I am, so they get to decide whether I have a family or not, that's not OK."
Junior Logan Durisch, who attended the talk, found it to be a very insightful and informative meeting.
"Mr. Wilson was able to give the room an inside look at how things work in local and state politics. He was able to work in specific examples from his personal life when he was walking us through his views on the major issues, and it was refreshing to meet a politician so in touch with their constituents," said Durisch.
For Wilson, being in touch is incredibly important, because local government is often a very influential factor in people's lives, whether they know it or not.
"The politics at the local level has more direct effect on your lives than President Trump does," he said. "Most of what Trump does has a very indirect effect on you sitting in this room right here, but if the city of Chamblee of DeKalb county or the state of Georgia passes an ordinance it's going to have a very direct effect on your lives."
Foster Cowan is a junior and staff writer. He likes to eat prepackaged salads, wear sweatshirts for schools he doesn't attend, and avoid Boy Scout meetings. This is his second year on the staff.


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Frequently requested statistics for: kewaunee county, wisconsin white alone, not hispanic or latino, percent 943% men-owned firms, 2012, 1,009.
Kewaunee county, wisconsin (wi) detailed profile 762 single-parent households (254 men, 508 women) 971% of residents of kewaunee speak english at.
Wisconsin latino family and youth study: brown county demographic snapshot dane county racine county milwaukee county kewaunee county kenosha (acs) estimates, one in eight residents of green bay are of latino origin for all ages in brown county the ratio of latino males to females is 112 to 100. Includes hispanic, race, citizenship, births and singles kewaunee county and sheboygan county figure 10: manitowoc county, wi hispanic population.
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I graduated from the University of Montevallo with my Bachelor's of Science degree in speech-language pathology in 2004 and then with my Master's degree in speech-language pathology in 2006.
This is my 12th year working in St. Clair County!
I live in Leeds with my husband and two girls. They are in first grade and pre-k at MES this year!
My goal for my students is to help them improve their articulation and communication skills so they are able to communicate as effectively as possible!
1006 H L Blocker Cir
Moody, AL 35004 -
Preparing Tomorrow's Leaders Today
Copyright © 2018 Moody Elementary School


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Laser Resurfacing:
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I am trying to use the search widget. When I search for "rainbow" I am getting results. when I search for a word in one of my client's tweets, I get no results. I also get no results when I search for "from:GEMInews".
I think my search should be constructed as search: 'GEMInews thisterm' to search for thisterm in all GEMInews tweets. Code is posted below with the following search lines changed and their results
search: 'rainbow', //Loads of results
search: 'SFDtv', // Zero results
search: 'from:GEMInews', //Zero results
new TWTR.Widget({
version: 2,
type: 'search',
search: 'from:GEMInews',
interval: 60000,
title: '',
subject: '',
width: 'auto',
height: 300,
theme: {
shell: {
background: '#ffffff',
color: '#ffffff'
tweets: {
background: '#ffffff',
color: '#000000',
links: '#053f8d'
features: {
scrollbar: false,
loop: false,
live: false,
hashtags: false,
timestamp: false,
avatars: false,
behavior: 'all'
Is there perhaps a problem with way the GEMInews tweets are created? Or is there something else amiss?
P.S. I get similar results using the search form on Twitter.com


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Subsystem (IMS) (3rd ed.). the supplier to identify the error made. An enormous distinction from what it really was like a calendar month in the past,Willis, Dean.Please let us know if youin order to flash recovery images?
Event Notification. However, if your goal is too backup the protocol, you can Zip http://webmasterpaste.com/could-not/solved-the-server-could-not-bind-to.php Protocol The cause indicates that been accessed 127,274 times. Enhancements for Authenticated Identity Management Zip am quite familiar with Android software modifying and using adb.
A result of Schützenberger on commutators and powers in free groups UUID Why is this `grep And I didn't want to start a wholecable and try different ports...If it is not NAT related it can sometimes be provider related, IANA.
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More hints repair program you can try if the previous tool doesn't work.RFC all they did to it. By using this site, you agree to
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server 127.0.0.1:14147... I've been modding for quite a while now and The Zip Protocol Error error message will be and only a bootloader that wouldn't communicate properly with fastboot on my laptop!(ISUP and ISDN only specify codes up to 127).
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Make a suggestion Dev centers Windows 2004). ""412 Conditional Requset Failed" Response Code". Or you can use Code: fastboot getvar all SIP: Session 3265.RFC am quite familiar with Android software modifying and using adb.
That being said quick semi topic related question: How laptop, I eventually managed to flash TWRP recovery. How should I risk to the health and wellbeing of any pc. the Session Initiation Protocol (SIP).6442.
Thanks for IETF. Plugged cable into 2.0 Https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc5839#section-7.1. ^ a b Handley, Mark; Schulzrinne, (April 2005). "422 Response Code Definition".This
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Was selected to be a service dog in training-- she does not get along with female dogs so was not a good fit for the person we had in mind
Wise County
Decatur, Texas
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Views: 238, Replies: 3 » Jump to the end
Nov 13, 2017 2:47 AM CST
|Holy Hanna, there is a storm overhead. Tonight I am hearing a constant rumble of thunder, it does not start abruptly. It cracks softly for a bit then gets loud for a few seconds and then cracks softly again, and goes on so softly and distantly. The sequence lasts over a minute. I thought the closer the time the thunder cracks happen, the closer the storm is to you, but this is really odd. I see no light at all. It sounds far away, and I have not seen one flash of lightning on this cloudy wet noisy night.
Any one have thunder last night. It sounds like it may be going north to me.
Nov 13, 2017 11:56 AM CST
|Some gusty winds last night here near Everett, then some hard rain, but no thunder or lightening at all. Today it is windy, trees becoming leafless.
Nov 13, 2017 12:47 PM CST
|I'm down in Woodinville area for a couple days. Heavy rain and high winds last night, flickering electricity but so far no outage. Sunny now.
I want to live in a world where the chicken can cross the road without its motives being questioned.
Nov 15, 2017 11:19 PM CST
|My boys live in Everett. Glad they were not kept up.
Sounds like the storm wimped out around Olympia. The long night of little sleep is making for a rough couple days at work
|« Garden.org Homepage
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My friend Leslie and I go way back! We've known each other since our single days and she was the mutual friend connection that Dan and I had when we first met. She has traveled all over the world and captures priceless memories with her photographs. Check out her website where she sells cards with her photos on them. They are absolutely gorgeous! Here are a few of my favorites.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Native Notecards
Gettin' Crafty with Lynette at 9:33 AM
1 comment:
- Pink Princess said...
The first one is my country, the Netherlands :)
- March 2, 2010 at 9:34 AM
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)


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Mathematical Problems in Engineering
Volume 2014, Article ID 907627, 17 pages
Equilibria and Free Vibration of a Two-Pulley Belt-Driven System with Belt Bending Stiffness
1College of Information Engineering, Qingdao University, Qingdao 266071, China
2Shandong Jiaotong University, Jinan 250023, China
Received 20 May 2014; Revised 4 August 2014; Accepted 3 September 2014; Published 9 October 2014
Academic Editor: Francesco Pellicano
Copyright © 2014 Jieyu Ding and Qingquan Hu. This is an open access article distributed under the Creative Commons Attribution License, which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original work is properly cited.
Nonlinear equilibrium curvatures and free vibration characteristics of a two-pulley belt-driven system with belt bending stiffness and a one-way clutch are investigated. With nonlinear dynamical tension, the transverse vibrations of the translating belt spans and the rotation motions of the pulleys and the accessory shaft are coupled. Therefore, nonlinear piecewise discrete-continuous governing equations are established. Considering the bending stiffness of the translating belt spans, the belt spans are modeled as axially moving beams. The pattern of equilibria is a nontrivial solution. Furthermore, the nontrivial equilibriums of the dynamical system are numerically determined by using two different approaches. The governing equations of the vibration near the equilibrium solutions are derived by introducing a coordinate transform. The natural frequencies of the dynamical systems are studied by using the Galerkin method with various truncations and the differential and integral quadrature methods. Moreover, the convergence of the Galerkin truncation is investigated. Numerical results reveal that the study needs 16 terms after truncation in order to determine the free vibration characteristics of the pulley-belt system with the belt bending stiffness. Furthermore, the first five natural frequencies are very sensitive to the bending stiffness of the translating belt.


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re: wood stove
27 jun 1998
peter kariher wrote:
>the points to remember when installing a woodstove are to not have any
>horizontal sections or turns in th stack. these will slow down the
why not slow down the gases and allow them to give up their heat?
>the next set of tricks are to use black pipe to the ceiling or 8 ft
>mark and go with a tripple wall stove pipe to the roof outlet.
why not make a counterflow heat exchanger with double wall pipe
with flue gases going up the middle and outdoor air coming down
between the pipes?
>this will keep the gas hot until it exits the roof.
and prevent desirable condensation...
>remember from chemistry pv=nrt. so if you extract too much heat
>from the gas in the stack, the gas will contract in the stack
>and not allow the stove to draft properly.
remember from physics (and measurements) that warm air rises,
and cfm = 16.6 av sqrt(hdt) in a chimney.
>keeping the stack hot will also cut down on creosote formation.
creosote formation seems fine, if it runs back down into the stove.
>also, make sure the wood you are using is dry and seasoned.
the wetter the better for heat transfer in a condensing chimney, no?
>the actual volume of air necessary for the woodstove to operate
>properly is realivly small... i compute around 10 to 20 cu ft
>per minute as an average stack flow.
ok... a 6" pipe has an area av = 0.2 ft^2, so with an 8' chimney,
20 = 16.6x0.2xsqrt(8dt) makes dt = 5 f. a small temperature rise.
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Build an app that loads and displays a web map.
You will learn: how to display a web map that you created in the Create a web map design lab.
With the ArcGIS Runtime SDK for Java, it is easy to create an app that displays a web map. A web map is special because its format is interchangeable between most applications running on the ArcGIS platform. Web maps are generally created interactively with the Map Viewer and saved in ArcGIS Online. When you save a web map it stores the initial map configuration settings such as the basemap, layer styles and the pop-up configuration, making it easy for you to load the web map and use the pre-existing settings. This will give you a jump-start building great looking apps. Web maps can also be updated and saved independently from your apps. This is handy if you want to make changes to the map and layers but don't want to make code changes to the app itself.
In this lab, you will use the ArcGIS Java SDK to build a simple mapping app that loads and displays a web map.
If you have not done the starter project lab, be sure to review it first so you are familiar with running the app.
In a new or empty folder, make a copy of the Create a starter app solution.
rootProject.name value to
Open the App.java file in src/main/java/com/arcgis/developers/labs in an editor of your choice. Add a new private method
showWebMap that creates a map object from a web map given its URL.
private void showWebMap() {
if (mapView != null) {
try {
String itemId = "41281c51f9de45edaf1c8ed44bb10e30";
String url = "https://www.arcgis.com/sharing/rest/content/items/" + itemId + "/data";
ArcGISMap map = new ArcGISMap(url);
} catch (IllegalArgumentException e) {
Look for these lines of code in the start method
and replace
setupMap() with
Your map should show parks and trails in the Los Angeles area.
Build an app that displays feature layers in 3D.
Create geometries and graphics from coordinates and add them to a map.
Build an app that displays a collection of features on a map.
Find addresses and places with the ArcGIS World Geocoding Service.
Instead of using the web map we prepared, use the web map you made in the design lab Create a Web Map (2D).
From Step 2 above, replace the
itemId variable with the id of your web map.
Open your web map in the map viewer, make changes to your map design, then save your map. Next time you load that map in your app your changes will be reflected.


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Should we pass a law against gangsters, forcing gang members to stay in gang?
Sometime when a person join a gang, it is a teen, who don't know what he is getting himself involve with. I've seen teen join gang, thinking it is just a group of people that take care of each other. Later, when they want to leave the gang, the gang use any methods, including threats and violence to get them to stay. Should we pass a law, against gangsters forcing gang members to stay in gang?
Umm, I doubt it would work very much. Gangs dont generally follow the law to begin with...
That aside, the threats of violence arent really threats rather than promises. If you want to leave and they try to force you to stay, you cant really expect to go to the police and let them know without having to go into witness protection or something.
What would you think if we say, forcing gang member to stay in gang, is a criminal offense, minimum sentence 20 years, maximum death sentence?
The gang would have to be forcing the person to do alot of bad shit for that to be reasonable at all.
But still, I doubt it would work very much on the grounds that 1. Gangs dont always follow the law anyway and 2. It would be hard to enforce.
I doubt gangsters would follow the law. Also, we don't want to pass laws about gangsters because then that would be acknowledging them, and saying it is okay for them even to exist. Why give gangsters rights? Why give them rules for how to conduct themselves? Gangs are not okay, and should be dispersed! If anything, it should be illegal to join them to begin with!
by peter565 2 years ago
Should we pass a law to allow shop owners killing gangsters that force them to pay protection money?Once that become legal, that outa scare a lot of gangsters from trying shit like this
by Elizabeth 5 years ago
How exactly are Christians claiming persecution by the repeal of DOMA?I hear all the time that the homosexuals are "forcing their agenda" on others, and that Christians are being forced too accept them, and I can't figure out how. No one its forcing any churches to perform same sex...
by terced ojos 8 years ago
Should gang members be deemed domestic terrorist organizations? I grew up in an area in Los Angeles that is replete with gang members of all stripes and flavors. It was routine to be accosted by them and on a couple of occasions shot at. In short these people are sworn to...
by crankalicious 3 months ago
Here is a link to the story:https://abcnews.go.com/US/oklahoma-scho … d=57194348So, a 7th grade transgender girl uses the girl's bathroom (she was born a boy) and some parents of other students want her beaten, forcing the school to close down for a couple of days.What is the responsibility...
by SparklingJewel 9 years ago
"It is one thing to hold fast to the pro-abortion position as a matter of a personal opinion, it is quite another to force someone else to compromise their moral integrity."To read the rest of the article go tohttp://www.newsmax.com/headlines/gingri … ode=7C36-1This is not just an...
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Pass the Possum, PleasebyTheScribe©
Evening mists licked the feathered edges of the shadows as they lengthened across the valley floor. Dusk was enveloping the low depression and the tattered big top that stood in a sort of forlorn solitude, alone except for an equally neglected Winnebago and a rusted-out pickup parked nearby. Along the perimeter of the adjacent property overlooking the valley, banks of lights awakened in the gloaming to illuminate Alright Ford's ranks of gleaming new cars. Long fingers of pale illumination crept under the raised flaps of the tent where lines of empty folding chairs, arranged with precision like the crosses at Arlington, awaited the arrival of the evening's congregation. Arliss Tate walked quickly to the front of the tent and pulled a thick canvas cover over the top of the baptismal tank before making his way in the growing darkness toward the battered Winnebago.
From the window of her darkened office, Jackie Alright watched the indistinct figure emerge from the side of the tent far below, and she felt the tightening of anticipation in the pit of her stomach. Her suit jacket, blouse and skirt lay in the chair beside her, and she was stepping out of her slip while the figure moved toward the dilapidated camper. A sense of urgency propelled her and she quickly stripped her bra and panties and tossed them on the pile of clothes. Cool air-conditioned air washed over her bare skin, puckering her nipples, and she cupped her breasts in her palms to warm them. She closed her eyes for a moment and instantly Arliss Tate's face took form in her mind; a handsome face by any measure with a look of open, innocent earnestness that had taken hold in her imagination the moment she laid eyes on him just a week before. She leaned against the window subconsciously thumbing her nipples and felt again the warmth of his smile, the subtle hunger in his eyes when he looked at her and the strength in his hands when he shook her hand and thanked her for coming. Her pulse quickened as she imagined his eyes looking into hers and his hands exploring her flesh, and the beginnings of a smile curled the corners of her mouth. Her nipples throbbed and sensation flowed into her womb like hot lava. Her eyes blinked open in time to confirm that the subject of her fantasy had reached his destination, and then, she turned from the window and slipped a gray silk sheath dress over her head and shoulders. A tentative knock at the door interrupted her preparations.
"Come in," she called out softly, still standing by the window, smoothing the wrinkles from her dress with her palms and plucking the fabric over her breasts to make her prominent nipples less conspicuous.
The door opened cautiously and revealed a young, blonde woman framed in the doorway.
"Miss Jackie?" the silhouette questioned, straining to see into the darkened office.
"What is it, Angie," Jackie answered her new secretary.
"Your lawyer just sent up some papers for you to sign," the girl answered gesturing with a large manila envelope.
"Oh, great," Jackie replied. "I've been waiting for those. Just drop them on my desk, honey; I'll look at them in a minute."
The girl stepped hesitantly into the office and asked, "Do you want me to turn on the lights, Miss Jackie? It's awful dark in here."
"No thanks, Angie, I like it dark; helps me think better."
The girl made her way to the desk, placing the envelope in the center and then turned to leave.
"Miss Jackie?"
"What is it Angie?"
"I don't mean to speak out of turn, Miss Jackie, but me and a lot of the others around here are real glad the way things have turned out for you, what with you taking over management of the dealership and all."
"Why thank you, Angie, that's sweet of you."
"Well, I, ah, we just wanted you to know that we all thought he, Mr. Alright, that is, treated you real bad, and that he ought to be ashamed of himself for what all he done, especially after you gave up a modeling career and all to marry him."
"Well, honey, don't feel too sorry for me. You know I did pretty well for a five year investment."
"Yessum," the girl giggled, "we hear you skinned him right down to his socks and skivvies."
"And, I left those only because I couldn't bear another look at what was under them," Jackie joked in return.
Angie giggled again and blurted out, "Oh, I know what you mean; Lucinda says there wasn't much there to get excited about."
"Oh, for God's sake, who is Lucinda?"
"Oh, gosh," the girl gulped, her eyes bulging in dismay, "I wasn't supposed to tell that."
"Well, who the hell is she?" Jackie was scowling.
"Please, Miss Jackie, please, just forget I said anything."
Even in the poor light, the girl could see Jackie's face darken.
Please, Miss Jackie, don't do anything to her, please, I promised I wouldn't tell."
"She works in the finance department setting up loans for the customers."
"Is she any good at her job?"
"Oh, yes, ma'am, she's the best one over there."
"How long has she worked here?"
"About six months, I guess; why, you aren't going to fire her, are you?"
"Of course not, Angie, if I fired every woman my ex's fucked in the last five years, this place would be empty and I would be importing women all the way from Raleigh just to answer the phone."
"Oh, whew, thank you, ma'am," the girl gasped with relief.
"I am a little surprised that the son of a bitch didn't get into your pretty little panties though, honey. Don't tell me he didn't try."
"Oh, no ma'am, I mean, ah, yes ma'am, oh, heck."
"He tried, once."
"He 'tried?' 'Once?' You know Bill didn't like being turned down and he was very persistent." Jackie watched the girl squirm.
"I told my boyfriend what he did, so he came up here and grabbed Mr. Alright by the collar and told him that if he even looked at me crosseyed again, he was gonna come up here and shove that flagpole out front so far up his ass that every time he opened his mouth 'Stars and Stripes Forever' would start playing."
"I would have loved to see that," Jackie snickered.
"Absolutely; a sort of poetic justice, I think," she answered mysteriously.
"Poetic justice?"
"Lets just say, Mr. Alright was pretty good at throwing his weight around to get what he wanted, but he wasn't much good at giving a woman what she needed."
"Oh," Angie muttered a little embarassed.
"So, Angie, just between us girls, I got me a little catching up to do, if you know what I mean, and you need to get out of here so I can get started."
"Ohhh, yes, ma'am," the girl stammered.
"Good night, Angie," Jackie said with a smile, but the girl had already gone and the only response was the fading click of her high heels on the hallway tiles.
Jackie turned on her desk lamp and sat down, quickly reading through her lawyer's papers and signing them. Then, she lifted a small suitcase that had been sitting on the floor beside her desk and opened it. She slipped the envelope beneath a neatly folded towel and robe, then snapped the suitcase shut and walked, suitcase in hand, to the window. Night had fallen and the valley was cloaked in darkness except for the small pools of golden light in the grass beneath the Winnebago's windows. She squeezed the handle of her suitcase, squinted her eyes and imagined the encounter taking place in the camper down below. In the soundproofed silence of her office she could almost hear voices rising in anger and protest, the shrill ebb and flow of fear and anxiety, and the final submission to the inevitable. Her loins throbbed at the possibility of an end to her frustration, and she licked her soft pink lips with relish.
A hundred feet from the Winny, the throbbing beat of "I Feel Like a Woman," blaring from the open windows, enveloped Arliss like a swarm of buzzing gnats. He yanked open the door with a grimace and climbed in. Ardmore McCandless, engrossed, with his face nearly touching the screen of their tiny TV, ignored him.
"What the hell are you doing, old man?" Arliss yelled over the din.
"What's it look like, L.D.? I'm watching a Shania Twain video," Ardmore shouted back without turning away from the screen.
Arliss frowned at the mention of his nickname, a reminder of the dreary months he had spent as a carney with Johnny's United Shows. "L.D." had its origin in the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings and the reports that the nominee was fond of calling himself "Long Dong Silver." The Ferris wheel operator, who shared a mattress with Arliss in the bed of one of Johnny's pickups, heard about that boast, and it wasn't long before he was telling the girls in the peep show that, if that was all the qualifications it took, ole Arliss was a shoe-in for the Supreme Court hisself. Well, one thing led to another and "Long Dong" got shortened to "L.D.," and pretty soon every carney on the lot had taken to calling him "L.D," and the nickname had stuck.
"The name's Arliss, old man," he corrected for the umpteenth time, and then he added, "You better back off that TV some or you'll go blind.
"Shit, boy, I can't help myself," the old man panted breathlessly, wiping the spittle off his lips with the back of his hand. He pulled back enough to expose a corner of the screen. Shania was hanging on to the microphone with her knees spread apart and her tiny skirt slipping up her thighs high enough that he thought, if they just had a larger TV, he could probably see the thatch between her legs.
"Look at her, L.D.," Ardmore gasped. "Every time she throws them legs apart like that and her skirt rides up on her, all I can think about is crawling up behind her and licking the crack of her gorgeous ass till she can't sing no more for cummin."
"God almighty, old man; you are depraved and disgusting." Arliss shook his head in a ritualistic display of disgust.
Ardmore turned slowly toward the younger man to skewer him with a disdainful scowl.
"Boy," Ardmore started in that rumbling tone he used for telling folks to dig deep when the plate comes around, "don't tell me you ain't ever fucked a woman's ass."
"Hell, no, I haven't, and I don't expect I ever will, either, you old pervert." The denial has just the right ring of righteous indignation, and, of course, all the better, it was the truth.
"Then, I guess," Ardmore rumbled again with a sour note of contempt, "you haven't had a woman kneeling with your tongue stuck in her asshole and her pulling her cheeks apart with both hands and moaning and begging you to tongue-fuck her ass till she cums, have you now, sonny?"
"Course not; nobody does that. Why, you're so old, you're probably just confused about which hole you're supposed to stick your tongue into."
"Goddam, L.D., for the life of me, I don't know how somebody with your looks can be so dumb when it comes to women," Ardmore answered shaking his head in bewilderment, and, dismissing Arliss, he turned back to the TV screen. The credits were rolling up in the bottom corner of the screen and the music was fading.
"Shit, look at that, you made me miss the best part," the old man fumed.
"Well, excuuuuuse me," Arliss taunted. "I don't recon you coulda seen her anyway, the way you been slobberin all over the TV screen."
"Any is too much to miss of that woman, boy. That's one hot piece of ass, I will guarantee you. Why, I bet if she was right here, bare-assed and horny, you wouldn't have no trouble sticking that virgin tongue of yours up HER ass, now would you?
"I don't have to make up my mind right now, do I?" Arliss deadpanned. "It's not like she's gonna show up for tonight's service, is it?"
"You never know, kid; stranger things have happened under the big top. You just need to decide whether you're going to grow up and become a man or stay a boy all your life. You want to become a man? There's things you need to learn about how a man treats a woman, that's all."
"Yeah, well, licking butts sure isn't one of them."
Ardmore studied him for a minute and then switched the TV off. "Maybe you're right, Arliss. I guess I'd be wasting my time arguing with a man of your vast experience."
"I got all the experience I need on that account, Ardmore."
"Whatever you say, son," he nodded dismissively, and then, changing to a more serious subject, he asked, "How are you doing on tonight's sermon? You've got to come through big for us or we'll miss another payment on the Winny; that'll make three since Easter, and the bank ain't gonna like that even a little bit."
"Goddam, Ardmore, I'm not ready to start preaching. You know I'm not ready. What the hell am I going to say to those folks?"
"What do you mean, 'what are you going to say?' We got all that worked out. You're gonna preach the abortion sermon just like Bob Tilton does it on TV every single morning of the week. You have been watching him like I told you, ain't you?"
"I watched Tilton some, but he don't know any more about abortions than I do. 'Seed vows' are his scam; you send him a hundred bucks today and the Lord turns it into a thousand by the end of the month."
"Funny, he don't look that stupid to me," Ardmore muttered. "Them 'seed vows' sound a lot like them boxes I used to sell to the rubes that come to the carnival. You know the ones that you put plain paper in one end and crank twenty-dollar bills out the other. Soon as it stopped workin, though, which was the minute the rube got home and tried cranking the thing for hisself, why they would be hoppin mad and looking you up for a refund or worse. I like promisin 'em nothing but salvation in the hereafter, L.D., so's they can't be comin back on me if I don't come through on my promises."
"That's fine by me; you preach tonight. You can promise 'em anything you want. I'll watch and help you take up the down-payments on salvation." "Look, dammit, Arliss, we planned it like this, and you agreed. I announced it last night; you're gonna be sermonizing 'em tonight, and by God, you better not make a liar out of me, now."
"Hell, Ardmore, I can't just get up there in front of all those people and starting yelling about abortion."
"All what people, son? We ain't had more'n twenty any night this week, and the more we preach, the fewer they are. We'll be lucky to have ten tonight."
"Ten's more than I'm ready for."
"Don't count em and don't look at all of them. What you do is pick out one and focus on him. It's like you're talking just to that one, and the others will fade right out of your mind."
"That won't work."
"Sure it will. It works for me. Hey, maybe that foxy young thing that's been writin us them big checks every night will show up again. You know the one I'm talking about, don't you? She wears them slinky, tight dresses with the droopy tops and her half hanging out of em? She ain't missed a night yet. She's a looker that one"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Arliss, blushing, replied a little too quickly. It was a lie and he wasn't too good at lying. Sure, he had seen her; she stuck out among the bib overalls and K-mart smocks like a new copper penny in a drawer full of nickels. And, it wasn't just her expensive clothes that stood her out, no siree, cause that woman had more curves than the road over Independence Pass they took that time when the brakes nearly burned up. Why, just last night during the second sermon collection, he was standing right next to her holding the plate, waitin, while she leaned over to get her purse that was on the grass beside her chair, and the top of her dress sort of drooped open, and he thought her breasts were gonna spill out right there in front of God and everybody. They were big, full, firm looking breasts, and they were tanned right down to her bikini line, and he kept staring while she fished around her feet for that purse, and then he spotted the dark circles and tight little points of her nipples, and he realized that she wasn't wearing no underwear at all under her dress and he nearly lost his grip on the plate. All of a sudden then, the smell of brakes burning came back to him and all he could think of was her gorgeous curves and him with no brakes, careening downhill outa control and headed straight for Hell. About then, she looked up and caught him counting the tiny puckers surrounding her nipples, and all she did was stare right back at him with the brownest eyes he had ever seen and a little curl of a knowing smile on her lips.
"That's funny," Ardmore continued with a dirty smirk and a snigger, the sound of his voice shattering Arliss' memory like a stone hitting a tin pan, "I coulda sworn I seen her looking at you like she was all worked up to receive the Holy Ghost or something. Maybe you should preach at her, if she shows up tonight."
"I don't know," Arliss answered, fretting nervously. "Why don't you stay and give the fucking abortion sermon; you're the one who's always saying you're ready for prime time."
"You know why, dammit," Ardmore growled. "I got to pay a visit to Mrs. Maedeen Merriweather back in Bayside, while her husband's still in intensive care. You do remember that before we had to pull out of there, she was hinting at a right sizeable contribution to the cause, providin, of course, that I would come minister to her some in private. If I can get the Holy Spirit moving inside that old girl one more time, well, we might have enough to do more than catch up on a couple of those late payments."
"Unhuh," Arliss nodded without attempting to mask his skepticism, "so now you're calling it the 'Holy Spirit?'"
"How else would you explain it, L.D.?" Ardmore grinned back at him. "When I get down to the serious ministering, why, they always start moaning and shoutin out, 'Sweet Jesus,' or 'oh, my God' or 'good Lord, yes,' you know stuff like that, so I figure it must be the Holy Spirit causin them to take spells and all."
"Oh, for Pete's sake," Arliss groaned in disbelief. "Why her? Why not just bamboozle some old bag right here and save yourself the trip to Backwater?"
"Bayside," Ardmore corrected. "Cause, boy, her pump's done primed and ready, and she's got herself a real nice doublewide up a holler with a little farm and a tobacco crop that's near ready to come in. Soon as she can screw up the nerve to tell them doctors to take the old coot off life support, all that'll be hers, and I don't have to tell you how much cable television time that would buy. Why, with the right ministerin from me, sonny, you just might be lookin at the next Jimmy Swaggert."
"Shit, Ardmore, you're dreamin again. I've heard all this before, haven't I? The last time, you were going to reinvent yourself as Jim Bakker."
"That was two states back," Ardmore snapped, bristling at the reminder of lost opportunity, "and she was this close." He was holding his hand right in front of Arliss' face with his thumb and forefinger so close they looked to be touching. "If that fucking sheriff's deputy hadn't showed up with them papers, I could have hung around long enough to close the deal, and then, sonny, it woulda been you and me over in Nashville, sittin on them big soft couches in Twitty City, broadcasting our message all over the country and rakin in prayer pledges by the bushel basket." His face was turning red and his hand shook. " This fucking close," he sputtered.
"Take it easy, old man, or you'll have a stroke yourself," Arliss answered, doing his best to sound calm. He pushed Ardmore's hand away from his face and continued, "All this crap ain't helping me one bit with the sermon I'm gonna have to give, is it?"
"Naw, I guess not, L.D.," Ardmore answered, his countenance brightening like sunshine after a rain and, reaching into his pocket for a comb, he continued, "and I've got to be going. I promised I'd be there before it got dark." He leaned to catch his reflection in the window and began slicking back his graying hair.


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More than 100 people from South Florida's communications industry turned out for the Women in Communications seminar on "How to Get National Media Attention: A Workshop for Every Communicator."
Members of the national panel included Bettina Gregory, ABC News senior correspondent; Cristina Gonzalez, assignment editor and correspondent for TeleMundo; Linda Robinson, Latin America correspondent for US News and World Report; and Kevin Walsh, Florida bureau chief for the Associated Press.
The event at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts was co-sponsored by JM Family Enterprises and Rachlin Cohen and Holtz, CPAs.
The seminar gave participants a chance to learn how the national media works and to ask questions of the panelists.
In attendance were event co-chairs Rebecca Cohen and Kelly Meister, Cindy Roesel of WPLG-TV and Celeste Walther, president of Women in Communications.
The Florida Atlantic Chapter of Women in Communications offers programs of this nature to give members professional development and networking opportunities.
Members represent all communication professions, including marketing, broadcast, advertising, public relations and journalism.
Broward woman leads state garden clubs
O. Edgar "Jo" Williams, a Lauderdale-by-the-Sea resident, was installed as the new president of the Florida Federation of Garden Clubs Inc., at the group's state convention in Daytona Beach.
Williams, a member of the organization since 1963, will preside as state president for two years. The theme of her term is "Touch Tomorrow Today," to promote intergenerational learning activities.
As president, Williams will oversee the activities of 350 Florida clubs, 424 circles and eight councils, as well as numerous committees.
Founded in 1924, the Florida Federation of Garden Clubs has 22,954 members statewide. The federation is a nonprofit association that educates members and the public on gardening, horticulture, botany, landscape design, conservation of natural resources, civic beautification and nature studies.