text:
... well, the last of the bloggers have headed towards home... I fed Harvey and Beloved Wife breakfast before pointing them vaguely in the direction of Nashville and wishing them bon voyage... I'm sure they'll find their way....
... but three days of being the host has taken its toll... and people, I need a nap...
... to all who attended, thank you... you guys are animals... when I grow up, I want to be just like y'all.. no, really... may the wild-eyed mayhem we all experienced be remembered in poetry and songs for years to come....
... I see some of the miscreants have already posted photos... well, you'll not be getting any here... I lost my digital camera during the Wreckyll in Jekyll in April.... hey, be thankful for small miracles... and now to the roll call....
... up first, the Blogger Babes... whoa... never before I have I been to a blogmeet with so many gorgeous women.. and the real kicker is that many of them wore glasses... talk about a pleasant distraction.... it was all I could do to keep my mind on my ribs... so, to AWTM, Beth, Boudicca, Cat, Dynamite, Key Monroe, Morrigan, Sissy, and Tammi, I only have this to say... you lasses had me at "hello"....
... and for the gents, a heartfelt thanks... no one got punched, kicked, cut, or bit (that I saw)... we only had one bleeder (you know who you are)... and nothing in the entire house was broken (that I could find) this morning.... so, to Denny, Harvey, Jimbo, Johnny Oh, Matty, Mr. Donovan, Redneck, RSM, T1G, and Zonker, pat yourselves on the back, boys.. you done good... a blogger bash of that size and only one visit to the ER is truly a thing to be marveled at....
.. now, though.. the question remains... when do I get to come to YOUR houses?!?...
Read the Bullshit »
What? You owe me money or something, that I am "Mr. Donovan?"
Dude - you and Mrs. SWG put on a *great* party!
As for the rest - my vocabulary has insufficient superlatives... so we'll just show our appreciation by showing up again sometime!Hell raised by John of Argghhh! on October 31, 2005 05:28 PM
I figured it'd be sooner rather than later considering the catalog I left with your wife.
The deck chairs are ready, the guest bedroom cleaned, firewood split, all the hearths loaded, and the scotch is in the pantry.Hell raised by RSM on October 31, 2005 05:31 PM
Well CRAP. I always miss the party!Hell raised by poopie on October 31, 2005 06:31 PM
I'm addicted to these fests now, Eric. We gotta hang out again soon. You two are fine people and so was everyone else there. I really had a blast!
Hey, you're welcome at my house anytime... although, the bar is not nearly as well stocked in my neck of the woods...Hell raised by Princess Cat on October 31, 2005 08:43 PM
Y'all are always welcome in my end of the country. Just make it after 1 December and before 1 June. From 1 June - 30 November we worry about 'bad weather'. ;-)
I have a well stocked bar too... I know, surprising as I don't drink.
Truly, y'all are the best hosts ever. I felt welcome from the time I entered your driveway... then again, I got greeted by Tammi and a bear hug!Hell raised by Bou on October 31, 2005 10:30 PM
I hope it goes without saying you're welcome here anytime. I DO have a well stocked bar and hell, I might be pursuaded to cook a meal or so..... I know a few people I could invite over....
Seriously - thanks again Eric. For everything.Hell raised by Tammi on November 1, 2005 07:13 AM
I just wish I had known about and/or was invited to this. I would have loved to meet all these people... minus Harvey... whom I met and has whelmed me with his presence.Hell raised by Contagion on November 1, 2005 09:50 AM
Damn! I hate missing fun....
"Mr. Donovan"... LOL!!!! ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!! Mr. and Mrs. Donovan are being pestered by the Denizens for a blogmeet at the Castle, so I hope they make it happen. I just hope it happens in the late spring, when it's warmer in up there and I will have more time (and money) on my hands than I do right now.Hell raised by AFSister on November 1, 2005 10:51 AM
Yeah C'mon... I gotta wet bar, but that's pretty much all I have in the way of entertainment. ; ) (Though Chateau Elan is not 5 miles away, and we could so rock their world!)
Oh, and I can't BELIEVE I missed the Donovans! Just damn.Hell raised by Key on November 1, 2005 11:04 AM
« Shut the hell up!
... well, rubberneckers.... where to start?... to be honest, I have no idea... it was awesome...
... bleary-eyed, I sit here... coffee in hand... still in disbelief that some of my favorite people made the long journey to my house and partied hardy... and best of all, my sleepy little neighborhood is still standing... albeit covered in beer bottles, lost clothing, and cigarette butts... it still stands...
... in a word, gentle readers, my humble home has just survived being hit by a blogger-tsunami... the likes of which I have never read about on the internet before... it was marvelous and overwhelming...
... and damn, I want to do it again...
... more later when I can focus my eyes better on the screen....
Read the Bullshit »
i shore hate missin that thang. caint hardly wait till ye post a lil recolleckshun!Hell raised by buddy don on October 30, 2005 10:21 AM
sounds like you had an awesome time of it!Hell raised by amelie on October 30, 2005 10:46 AM
We want details and incriminating pictures, d'ya hear?
Thanks, bro, it was a FREAKIN' BLAST!!!Hell raised by Blackfive on October 30, 2005 11:39 AM
Wish I could have made it, but you know, CatHell raised by Catfish on October 30, 2005 12:38 PM
an honor and a privelege to have met everyone. I had a great time.Hell raised by RSM on October 30, 2005 01:16 PM
Dude, I am so glad you had such a rip-roaring fantabulous time!
Can you imagine what would have happened if you had actually let the word out?
Anyway, I'm glad zonker got to meet the other side of our tree and I look forward to hearing all about it. It will help the sulking family members (we swear, technicalities, vw, me) and friends (laughing wolf) endure our disappointment (and jelousy) of not being able to go and partake in the partyin', drinkin', story telling and music playing!!!
Hope you're not too hung over to tell us all the gory details on this halloween eve.Hell raised by michele on October 30, 2005 01:18 PM
I had an awesome time! Ain't nothing like a good blogmeet and you done good son. I'm happy your house is still standing, your neighbors are still talking to you (maybe), and Fiona didn't kill you. Thanks for hosting a stellar meet. Also, thanks for inviting such babealicious blogger wimmins.
Can I cry now? Think I will - I so wanted to be there. I'm glad you all had such a good time.Hell raised by Teresa on October 30, 2005 04:03 PM
Not going to cry, but do wish I could have been there.Hell raised by Laughing Wolf on October 30, 2005 06:24 PM
You and Fiona are outstanding hosts, Eric. It was a great weekend. I greatly appreciate the hospitality and hope to return the favor someday soon.
Now I gotta get some sleep...
Southern Hospitality starts at your doorstep. Never in my life have I felt so welcome. I had the most marvelous time... the food, the people... and the music. Let us not forget the music. It was a highlight.
It was damn tough to come home. Thank you for everything, Eric.Hell raised by Bou on October 30, 2005 08:12 PM
Man... Damn. Like Bou, I didn't want to return "home" either.
Ask Fiona if you can adopt me. Ok? Don't you need an "older son"?
I can tote beer and ribs now... Lots of both.
Thanks to the both of you. I had a blast. Yabu shit on my lawn while I was gone though... I'm still thankin' him for that. ;)Hell raised by RedNeck on October 30, 2005 08:47 PM
Damn I feel so unloved :(Hell raised by livey on October 30, 2005 09:09 PM
Guess it's our turn to be hydrants, Livey!! We can enjoy vicariously if they'll only sober up and get to posting about it!!!
Damn, I wish I had been there...but a weekend with The Mistress in Savannah was a powerful alternative, one that could not be denied...sounds like all concerned had a wonderful time...no surprise, when the host is the Master of Ellipsis his ownself...
Thanks again, Bro! One of the best times I've had... you and Fiona should be eligible for sainthood after putting up with us all!
You guys are awesome!!!Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 31, 2005 12:56 AM
You Rock! Pure and simple!!
It was a marvelous time. I laughed so much my stomach STILL hurts.
Thank ya darlin'. You are the best!!Hell raised by Tammi on October 31, 2005 01:19 AM
One word. Fantastic! Bonfires, bullets, booze, food, music, great company, boatloads of laughs. Doesn't get any better than that. Many of thanks to you and Mrs. SWG (a lovely lady with boundless grace) for hosting the collection of Vulgarians.
I made it home just in time to walk in the front door and execute an immediate U Turn to go do some Sunday drinkin' with the Usual Suspects.
I need fluids and rest. :-)Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 31, 2005 03:22 AM
Aww...man, my feelings are so hurt right now, y'all don't even know. sniff, sniff...Ok, I see how it is.Hell raised by Kelly on October 31, 2005 08:45 AM
Man, wish I was there too! Sounds like you all had a blast!Hell raised by Oddybobo on October 31, 2005 10:21 AM
Psst. I am currently in the Nashville city jail on drummed up botlegging charges, please send Joisey Jim....
Thank you for the fantastic time, and for the very delicious ribs, yum.
The stuff in the jar, ohhhhhhhhh.....life altering. NO JOKE...
Fionna, a gorgeous, and sweet.....creature. With her heart on her sleeve, I am glad she got a sweatshirt to cover it up. Thank her.
Hated to leave and almost built me a still in them hills...
see, nothing to be nervous about.
Thanks for everythingHell raised by armywifetoddlermom on October 31, 2005 11:42 AM
So sorry I missed the Saturday night crowd!
But thanks for having us. I enjoyed meeting the new peeps, and I appreciate you guys breaking in the nonbelieving hubbie gently. I think he had a great time, as he was in a good mood right up until Georgia's defense rolled over and played dead in the first quarter!
(Yes, Tammi...We cried!)Hell raised by Key on October 31, 2005 01:18 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... up early today... things to do, people, things to do... circumstances are shaping up to provide me with one busy weekend....
... damn, I need to scrub this joint... pick up all my crap.. but, hey... I just ain't got time..
... maybe I'll just throw some sawdust on the floor and be done with it...
... after all, it is exactly as ole Dietrich Bonhoeffer once said:
... "We must learn to regard people less in light of what they do or don't do, and more in the light of what they suffer."
... word, rubberneckers, word... the Dman may be on to something there...
... Lord, help us all....
Read the Bullshit »
Have fun and drink one for me and then to me... ;-)Hell raised by vw bug on October 28, 2005 08:31 AM
Sounds like you're gonna have company....Hell raised by Richmond on October 28, 2005 09:59 PM
Wish we were there but the wedding stuff is fun. But Please E-mail me phone numbers I lost my phone and I don't think it is coming home wagging it's numbers behind it.Hell raised by ga on October 28, 2005 11:11 PM
make one of those damn mooches help....Hell raised by armywifetoddlermom on October 29, 2005 12:56 AM
i agree with dietrich ....Hell raised by justrose on October 29, 2005 05:56 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... well, folks.. last night saw one of the most brutal beatings in the history of billiards... Cousin Brad and I played for about five hours and I lost only three times... two of which were when I inadvertently scratched on the eight.. yeah, it was rough... but hey, I am nothing if not gracious and humble in victory..
... and it wasn't that Brad couldn't open a can of whoop-ass from time to time... it's just that when the game came down to the final shots, his luck would tuck tail and skedaddle like Yankees at 1st Manassas.. leaving me in command of the table...
.... ahhh... it's all good though...
.. you know, some people say "you can't win them all", and that is true... very true... but losing them ALL still has a bit of a sting...
Read the Bullshit »
Ya know, I really relate to that. We have a pool table...I used to practice somewheres of 10 hours a day...no shit...just to get to the level of competition my husband is at. Every time I would make a breakthrough, he would up his game that much more and STILL beat my ass every day. You get used to it after awhile. Makes my game better than I know, though.Hell raised by Kelly on October 27, 2005 11:26 AM
Hello Chief, send me your email address the one you wants jokes to come to, CatHell raised by Catfish on October 27, 2005 01:42 PM
You're such a gracious winer!Hell raised by Junebugg on October 27, 2005 01:44 PM
The Astros felt the sting.Hell raised by Jim -PRS on October 27, 2005 03:49 PM
1-5 ain't that hot either... :-/
[/Packers fan]Hell raised by Harvey on October 27, 2005 08:07 PM
I was playing pool last Saturday, I suck at it, but I wont 4 out 6 games... because the guy I was playing with kept scratching on the 8.Hell raised by Contagion on October 28, 2005 12:21 PM
Between shooting a little snooker and DJ'ing at the local AM station, I made a pretty good living during high school.
8-ball is fine, but I do love snooker. It's all in the smooth, soft touch, the finesse. I got used to people threatening to whack my head with a cuestick, simply because I left them no shot even if mine failed.
Ahhh, those were good days........a long time ago.Hell raised by Wayne on October 29, 2005 08:33 AM
« Shut the hell up!
... woke up this morning with a great plan... itching with anticipation, the day held promise... me, I was positioned to swipe a few hundred things off the to-do list before the gents arrive this afternoon...
.. result?... busted... totally busted... here I sit and it's just after 3pm.. and before I know it, cocktail hour will be just around the corner...
... instead of weeding the flowerbed for the last time of the season... planting the pansies.. cleaning the gutter... writing letters and paying bills... sweeping out the garage... and washing and vacuuming the car, I kicked back...
.. listened to some tunes.. made a few phone calls... drove into town for lunch... played guitar on the deck... the sky was bright blue, cool, and breezy...
... in my defense, I did do two loads of laundry and burned some old cardboard whiskey boxes that were cluttering up the garage... see?.. I'm not lazy... I just decided to reprioritize my day after my morning shower... y'all do that too, right?... heh heh...
... besides, I've got to save my strength for the poolfest tonight... baby steps, people... baby steps...
Read the Bullshit »
Itching with what? You'd better go to the doctor, Eric.Hell raised by Sadie on October 26, 2005 03:49 PM
... I'm feeling better already..Hell raised by Eric on October 26, 2005 03:51 PM
You know, of course, that if you dispose of too many items on the Honey-Dew List, that new ones will sprout up to replace them, just like so many Toxic Mushrooms after a spring rain...
...therefore, the idea of Kicking Back seems like a good 'un to me. But then again, I am a naturally Lazy-Assed Individual.Hell raised by Elisson on October 26, 2005 04:19 PM
I don't see anything wrong with your priorities...Hell raised by Princess Cat on October 26, 2005 04:25 PM
i do do that, too! reprioritizing rocks!Hell raised by justrose on October 26, 2005 07:59 PM
pace yourself -- i don't want you getting winded with all that looming activity!Hell raised by amelie on October 27, 2005 01:57 AM
Hey, you prioritized... Besides if you worked all the time, what fun is that?Hell raised by Contagion on October 27, 2005 08:52 AM
The important thing at the end of the day, is do YOU feel good about yourself?Hell raised by livey on October 27, 2005 04:51 PM
You may want to buy one of my sticks, I have a new 1972 Joss, with two cues, irish linen wrap. Used twice by me, when I was a good hustler, CatHell raised by Catfish on October 28, 2005 06:50 PM
« Shut the hell up!
.. personally, I think Aubre is 100% right... see, she just found out about a website that sells "Ballsies".. a jewelry of sorts for ladies... below is just a teaser of what she says extremely well right here...
But ball play is beside the point. Back to Ballsies. I am a frequent user of the phrase, "Get some balls!" and I never really thought about this conundrum until the professional-looking Ballsies website opened up on my computer screen and the happy faces of testicle-clad women were smiling back at me. Another common saying came to mind and made me a bit worried ...
When yelling "Get some balls!" to someone, you are referring to the testicles a male sexual organ and you are telling someone to find some courage and get something done like a man. But to yell, "You're a pussy," a common synonym for the female sexual organ means you are weak and lame, like a little girl. So why am I reinforcing gender stereotypes and telling girls to grow some testicles?
Instead of buying myself some over-priced sterling silver balls on a chain, I think I'm going to retire the saying. For you women out there, instead of purchasing a testicle necklace as a symbol of confidence, start using the phrase, "Get a vagina!" Is someone too scared to take a beer bong? "Get a vagina!" No one will go streaking in Camp Randall with you? "Get a vagina!" No one will train for the IronMan with you? "Get a vagina!" And you can take that $54.95 and put it towards a nice pair of high heels ... a real sign of power.
... heh heh..... the girl is going places....
Read the Bullshit »
Sigh. A trip to your place is always interesting, Eric.
...Mercy...Hell raised by Sadie on October 25, 2005 02:54 PM
Enjoying your site, thought I'd pop in and make a pointless comment.
I'm done now.Hell raised by SPG on October 25, 2005 05:27 PM
.. thanks, Sadie... and if there is one thing we likes around here it is pointless comments... ones with points usually get deleted...Hell raised by Eric on October 25, 2005 05:35 PM
To any woman who would wear a pair of Silver Testicles around her neck, I can only echo the late General McAuliffe:
"Nuts!"Hell raised by Elisson on October 25, 2005 05:54 PM
See, now it would be fun to get some of those and wear them to some high falutin' party and see if anyone had the 'balls' to ask you what you were wearing...Hell raised by Kelly on October 26, 2005 05:54 AM
My naturally crude self wants to just have a field day with this.
My inner jerk wants to buy a shitload of these "balls" and give them out to people at work.
My self preservation is keeping me from doing both.Hell raised by Contagion on October 26, 2005 08:51 AM
I know lots of women with huge balls.....
they don't need a necklace..Hell raised by armywifetoddlermom on October 26, 2005 11:35 AM
I'm thinkin' I could never yell 'Get a Vagina' at anyone. Ever. In my life.Hell raised by Bou on October 26, 2005 08:27 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... there are very few times when I read a post and then head through to the living room to rip the Wife away from a Hitchcock film to make her read it... drag her kicking and screaming from her soft couch and into the world of Blogs... but tonight, I did.... for tonight, Army Wife wrote this... and both I and my partner loved it...
.. the Blogosphere is full of preeners and posers... and that's a fact... sure, there are some genuine articles out there, but for the most part, many people live a life on their blog that is far and away from their real lives... it is all make-believe and mirrors... we've all done it on occasion.. writing cryptic posts.. trying to mold a World that fits us Online better than the one we live in.... well, I call bullshit..
.... when I read that post, it reminded me of something... something fast and secure... something proud and vibrant... something true and perfect... the salient fact that we are all fractured creatures in one way or another... and admitting it, being true, and facing the World every morning is a noble endeavor....
... and you know what?... I agree with the Writer.... maybe not for reasons she might think, but I still agree.... see, we've all come that point she describes... that point where we look at ourselves and the people around us and wonder.. am I doing the right thing?... is this where I am supposed to be?... am I doing what is expected of me?... those moments of weakness that we have in our lives... they define us..
... but the real mind-fuck is when you think of her post differently... where the girls are drawing teachers and the boys are putting crayon and brush to badly drawn fire engines?... is that what they really wanted, or is it just what they accepted.... who was the odd man out?.. her or the rest of the class?..
... Army Wife ends her post by saying "maybe I should have been an artist"...
... amazing, I say... she IS...
Read the Bullshit »
i shoulda been helpful.
oh, wait, i am.
heh heh hehHell raised by mr. helpful on October 25, 2005 02:40 AM
Seemingly simple yet nearly impossible to wrap your brain around.
Your thoughts remind me why I try so hard to walk those lines with my girls -- guiding them has been a source of many lessons for ME. I just hope that I don't screw it up for THEM.... Am I giving them the right tools to do and become the very best they can be? I don't know -- but I hope so....Hell raised by Richmond on October 25, 2005 12:38 PM
I enjoyed it for the humor, but what you pointed out is very true. I hope I help my boys go down the path they want and not what others expect of them.Hell raised by vw bug on October 25, 2005 04:08 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... hmmm... where to start?... Ms. Monroe saw fit to tease me with the meme jag.... and hey, I'll play....
What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?
.. sweet Lord... this question should read "have done THIS week" and not "in your life"... the possibilities are endless when given such a timeframe... gotta choose something though... so here are three that immediately come to mind...
... like Key, one near the top of my list involves a cliff... specifically the 200-footer that overlooked Kuluk Bay on Adak Island near the cabin that belonged to the Downtown Marines... two jarheads and I climbed down to the shore of the Bering Sea with a case of MGD and drank it all in about an hour... next, we tried to get back topside... six hours later and with several near-death experiences under my belt I was sober, covered in sweat and mud, and safely at the top.. Hell, there is a blog post in that story...
... swimming in a riptide at Panama City Beach when I was 13... looking back now, I was shark bait and didn't even know it... sharks give me the heebie jeebies... later that night, after being pulled out of the surf by a lifeguard, a fisherman capped a 8 foot tiger shark with his 9 not 100 yards from where I'd been swimming earlier.. yep... reeled that sucker in and shot it on the beach...
... another stupid drama in so many ways was dropping trou and nearly getting some nookie while on duty... of course, the jury is still out.. good decision?.. bad decision?... it's all a matter of perspective.... sometimes the wind blows each direction equally.... either way, putting myself in that position was pretty damn stupid...
At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?
... my Tiny Elvis who lives in my task tray... he is The Man... hey, you don't have a Tiny Elvis?.. you guys are missing out... he is my spiritual guide in these trying and difficult times.... and I really don't know where I'd be without his daily ministrations....
If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?
... re-reading this question, I'd sure as Hell hate to be given a time machine that DIDN'T function... that would truly suck... anyway, who'd I want to eat with?... hmm... all at once, or individually?... all at once, Robert Service, Ogden Nash, Dr. Seuss, Brother Void, and Will Rogers....
... individually?... well, rather than dining, I'd like to have a drink with each of these guys one-on-one ... Ira Hayes, Lee Marvin, Humphrey Bogart, Oliver Reed, and Gene Wilder... they'd buy, of course.. except for Ira and Lee... I'd foot the bill for those two...
If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?
.... I'd like to be in a position to live 1/2 of each year in Tennessee and 1/2 in Scotland... that'd be cool.... and I'd like the wonderful people at Bowmore Distillery send me (where ever I happen to be) a liter of their 17-year old whiskey every two weeks free-of-charge for the rest of my life... and lastly, I suppose I'd like to have an ample enough amount of money that not only would I never have to work again... but I could wander the countryside benevolently handing out wads of cash to good people down on their luck... kinda like Johnny Appleseed only with greenbacks instead of seeds...
Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.
.. I desperately regret that my city does not have a good liquor store... and I even more desperately regret that my city does not even have a BAD liquor store... dry counties are the Devil's work...
... something to avoid?... this is a hard one... I suppose that people visiting my hometown should avoid running with sharp objects and playing with fire... other than that, my neck of the woods is pretty safe...
Name one thing that has changed your life.
... joining the military... best thing that ever happened to me... well, that and getting hitched.. but it is all cause n' effect... if I hadn't joined the Corps, I wouldn't have met the missus...
Tag an unfortunate.
... mercy....
Read the Bullshit »
very nice, i like the johnny greenback touch. you are so benevolent, daddy-oHell raised by shoe on October 24, 2005 09:26 PM
V-man responds to a meme, now SWG,if Key gets Dax to respond I will know she is queen of all women and is to be feared.Hell raised by James Old Guy on October 25, 2005 10:21 AM
"dry counties are the Devil's work"
SO true.
Which is what makes Wisconsin so wonderful.
Yeah, there's the snow, but we also have drive-thru liquor stores.Hell raised by Harvey on October 25, 2005 05:12 PM
Everybody crying mercy on the tagging.
I used to do that too. Now I'm a brat. And proud.
Regarding the liquor store, been meaning to write a post about a Tennessee liquor store. No mix. Liquor with liqueur. Caramel apple?
Think not!
« Shut the hell up!
... another 'cane is gearing up to hit Florida... Wilma be her name.... and I just saw on Fox News that the surf is full of overweight guys with great tans trying to boogie board... absolutely amazing...
... anyway, the beautiful (and soon-to-be windswept) Boudicca has gone to the incredible trouble of prepping a map of Florida Bloggers... she's also doing the right thing... preparing her home and family for the coming storm...
.. stay safe, sister... and good luck...
... and if you're a Florida blogger, get over there and tell her where you're at...
Read the Bullshit »
Who's your blog father? You've been mentioned by various commenters here:
But I'd like to know who influenced/started you on blogging.
Holy crap am I beat. Shutters are up, eggs are hardboiling, last load of laundry going in, in 10 minutes, then time to fill up the washing machine with water and fill the tubs.
Nothing left to do, but wait for her to hit. I'm so done with it. This feels like it's been going on since June. I need to move.Hell raised by Bou on October 23, 2005 08:27 PM
One of the funnier Fix News bits I saw on the hurricane was this morning when they were panning around a fairly deserted West Palm Beach cutyscape. Deserted except for two loons jumping up and down and waving at the camera.
When one started doing handstands the camera jerked suddenly up and to the left.
Hmm. Not sure why.Hell raised by jwookie on October 24, 2005 07:38 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... there is an old saying down in my neck of the woods.... "crime doesn't pay... and neither does farming".... but that hasn't stopped Cousin Brad and his bud branching out lately.... see, both fine gentlemen have dreams of becoming Cattlemen... and they have begun gathering up a herd over the past few weeks.... the plan is to fatten 50 to 100 yearling steers up for six months and then take them back to auction....
... it's a good plan, actually... and I do believe they might just make a nice wad of cash in the end... Hell, I might even invest some money too... the only place where I can see that the endeavor starts getting a bit wonky is the whole manual labor portion... fence building, inoculations, general maintenance, the occasional castration.... and, of course, de-horning....
... for those of you who are uninitiated in this practice, you are in for a treat... for today shall be spent with me in documentary mode... indeed, I am boldly heading out today with camera in hand just for you guys... no, no, I won't be participating in the daubing of spurting blood or the tweezing of squirting vessels.. I shall not take part in the lopping off of horns or the spraying on of disinfectants... no, no.... I shall be standing well back and laughing... probably drinking an adult beverage... and listening the cursing of the two men as their new "investments" shit themselves, stomp farmer-toes, and bray with all their might to the High and Holy that the two rednecks besetting them with bolt-cutters be immediately struck down by lightning... oh, and I'll be taking photos.. I'll be taking lots of photos... gore and blood galore.. you know, just for you guys....
... as I've said many times... entertainment is an elusive beast around these parts.. you gotta be creative if you want to keep yourself amused...
Read the Bullshit »
Can't help but think there's a parable in there somewhere.Hell raised by Harvey on October 23, 2005 09:34 AM
Cattle, yep a good investment, except for illness and coyotes. They always seem to get out too, so get ready to spend time herding them back. Oh, and maybe you should watch the movie Hud, first. Heck, I might watch Hud....Hell raised by armywifetoddlermom on October 23, 2005 11:51 AM
That reminds me that I'm gonna have to behave next weekend.Hell raised by zonker on October 23, 2005 12:45 PM
Good Lord. I'm suddenly feeling mighty blessed to have my manual labor of the day consisting of hurricane shutters as opposed to de-horning. Yikes!
Hey... you're real good with those post hole diggers now aren't you??!Hell raised by Bou on October 23, 2005 01:11 PM
Cattle? been there and done that. If the market holds and the vet bill don't eat you up and if about a dozen other variables don't work against you you might get lucky and make twenty bucks a head for you labor-which is of course taxable including self employment tax which will bring it down to fourteen dollars a head. Hourly wage may figure out to 10 cents per if you are lucky.Hell raised by GUYK on October 23, 2005 02:31 PM
There goes my image of GUYK as a blogosphere optimist!!!
Watch out for PETA and SPCA with those pictures, Eric.
« Shut the hell up!
.. spent the day washing curtains, sipping Becks Dark, and watching Tennessee battle
themselves Alabama... hey, it happens..... glad they brought Ainge in to throw an interception though... that was definitely a high-point.... ahh, Hell.. enough about all that....
.. I'm getting ready to hit the sack now.... and as I type this, comedic dialogue from "Arsenic and Old Lace" is bouncing off the darkened walls of the living room....
... the Better Half reclined.... sipping Australian merlot while lip-syncing one of her favorites.... yeah, Cary Grant again... not the car this time, of course.. the real deal.... the dapper Mortimer....
... cycles... cycles.... remember the scene when the old Aunts say that Johnny can't bury his latest victim in the cellar because they already have twelve bodies down there?.... remember the guy who thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt?....
... indeed... no room at the Inn, people... we're all Ambassadors to someone...
Read the Bullshit »
Cary? Hope she's not quoting tire pressures. You realize the feminizing of that fine car, Henry Leland has spun in his grave......Hell raised by bitterman on October 22, 2005 10:30 PM
... I know, brother... I know..Hell raised by Eric on October 23, 2005 07:30 AM
« Shut the hell up!
.... back when I was a nipper, my Dad used to let me stay up late on Saturdays and watch Shock Theatre... remember that?... Dr. Shock and Dingbat?... yeah, my formative years were jimmied by those two...
... anyway, I had a nightmare last night that immediately brought back memories of a long lost episode of Shock Theatre... the details are sketchy, and the haze of a thousand Saturdays obscures the past... but here is what I remember...
... in my dream, I was being chased by a 12" tall bronze statuette with a knife that had come to life... I eventually beat it flat on the kitchen floor with a large brass ashtray that I was given for my birthday...
... the reason I am bringing this up though, is that the dream reminded me of an old movie... I've been searching on the internet to no avail... so, I thought you rubberneckers might make yourselves useful for once and help a brother out... here is about all I can remember.... that small metal statue in the movie was scantily clad... either wearing a loin-cloth, Roman garb, or perhaps Viking clothes.... yeah, maybe a Viking... and he had a short-sword or a battle axe... I don't remember which, but what ever it was, it was sharp... something happened and he came to life... there was much drama and shrieking... he could cut just about anything with his weapon.. cardboard, linoleum, table legs.... and he eventually killed the Wife while the Husband was away at work and lay in wait... once the guy got home, battle ensued and Good won out by tossing his evil ass into a hot oven and holding the door closed... melting the bronze.. reducing him to a small puddle of non-evil goo... (in retrospect, that must have been one hot-assed oven to melt bronze)...but I stray off-point...
.. so, pony up, people... anyone seen this movie... it was black and white and cheesy... but last night's nacho-induced nightmare makes me yearn to see it again... any ideas?...
Read the Bullshit »
At first, I was thinking Jason and the Argonauts, but obviously not. Sounds familiar though, let me think about it.Hell raised by Laughing Wolf on October 21, 2005 08:53 PM
I remember.... I think it was either a Rod Serling thing or a Outer Limits. It was a doll that went berserk when it's belt was removed, kinda like Chucky on Voodoo.Hell raised by Mizfitroll on October 21, 2005 09:02 PM
.. definitely not a doll... a statue.... small and metallic... I remember it stabbing up through an overturned box when the Wifey was trying to capture it in the movie..Hell raised by Eric on October 21, 2005 09:15 PM
I am drawing a complete and utter blank.
It ain't He-Man and that Skeletor guy, izzit?Hell raised by Elisson on October 21, 2005 09:50 PM
Aw shit... give me some time. I remember the show. I just can't think of the stupid name...Hell raised by T1G on October 21, 2005 09:57 PM
I think Mizfitroll is right. I've seen every Piece Of Shit ever made, and that voodoo doll one is the onliest one to ring a bell.
I think in that same show they had one about a woman who kept flushing a spider down the sink and it kept climbing out bigger and bigger, until it finally ate her. That one fucked me up for sinks to this very day.Hell raised by Bane on October 22, 2005 12:56 PM
It was one of the three movies in Trilogy of Terror. Karen Black was the actress. The statue was African. Scared the willies out of me, I'll tell you!Hell raised by Omnibus Driver on October 22, 2005 01:42 PM
One more thing -- good didn't win. She smelled the fumes from the over, and the last scene was her, with evil, long pointy teeth, squatting in the corner of the kitchen and stabbing that big ass knife into the floor over and over again, waiting for hubby to come home. Ugh!Hell raised by Omnibus Driver on October 22, 2005 01:44 PM
.. holy shit... that's it.. that's the one... Jesus, I just went to IMDB.COM and watched the trailer.. scared me to death...Hell raised by Eric on October 22, 2005 01:52 PM
Flash Gordon, maybe? Nah...Hell raised by Sadie on October 22, 2005 04:19 PM
HA! Told ya.Hell raised by Bane on October 22, 2005 08:05 PM
Holy shit, I remember that movie! I remember it in color though.Hell raised by Maeve on October 22, 2005 11:11 PM
Yep... as soon as I read what Omnibus Driver wrote about her with long teeth, and sitting in the corner of the kitchen, I had an idea that it was correct. But it all clicked when I saw that picture of the little bastard's face.
It wigged me out as well.Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 23, 2005 02:14 AM
Don't you people believe in links? SHEESH!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073820/Hell raised by Harvey on October 23, 2005 09:41 AM
« Shut the hell up!
... the Wife's Caddy has been complaining about tire pressures for the past week... evidently the thing has sensors in each tire that keep track of fluctuations.. that's what she gets for buying a race car, I guess...
... anyway, we saddled up and headed into town yesterday to have the tires checked and the oil changed... while the technicians were laying on hands, we nipped over to the local gun shop... I had broken one of the tie-down snaps on my old shoulder harness and needed a repair kit or an extra tie-down...
... after handling about seventy-five different models, one of the salesmen idles over... with a shining grin, he informs me that you can't just buy a spare tie-down... you have to buy an entire new rig... so, I bought a new rig... and what a depressing sight it was once I opened it... great bloody Hell.. what a total piece of crap...
... my original Uncle Mike's horizontal shoulder harness is built like a tank... almost entirely made of 1.5-inch cordura webbing... indestructible... I bought it in 1990 and it still looks brand new... the only place it failed was in one of the snaps that secures it to your belt....
.. but the one I just purchased?... flimsy and made almost entirely of strips of Velcro... how the times have changed... I guess Uncle Mike made his millions and moved on....
... but, shit... the same manufacturer... same basic model... same price range (although we're talking 1990 vs. 2005)... and it pales in comparison... after cannibalizing the tie-down, I chucked the piece of shit into the maw of the trash can....
... oh, and in other news, while tooling around Athens in my car waiting for The Wife's to get fixed, she asked out of the blue if I had named my car.. when I said that I hadn't, she informed me that her CTSV was named "Cary"... after Cary Grant... and that her car was a guy... and that he is gay....
... her prescription meds are definitely not getting refilled...
Read the Bullshit »
Cary? At least she didn't name it "Richard," or "Elton.."
But you're right. It's only funny for so long. Once someone starts passing out gay monikers to their possessions, it's time to intervene.
Well, I've gotta defrag "Ellen," or I'd have more to say...
Well, she's feeling better then.... ;)
Those must be interesting meds she's on.Hell raised by Richmond on October 21, 2005 10:49 AM
Way to go girlfriend! I LOVE CARY TOO! All of my pc's have male names. If they ever give me a hard time I take them apart, rebuild them and then re-christen them with a new name. Sort of trading up, or out with the old in with the new philosophy.
We women are intimately familiar with how THAT feels because it happens to us at least once in our lifetime!Hell raised by Michele on October 21, 2005 12:37 PM
Cary, huh? My cool ride is Buster. He will bust you if you don't get out of his way! Buster has a little sister, and that is her name! Both Oldsmobiles, I miss that brand.Hell raised by Kat on October 21, 2005 01:41 PM
Well well well. I new she had a since of humor... Also you should have called up your fovorite cus to hook you up with snaps for the oldie but goodie shoulder harness. The world is infactuated with Velcro oops I mean hook and loop just look at the Army for Christ sakes !!!!!!!!!!! Good to know the wife is doing good.Hell raised by Big Daddy C on October 21, 2005 02:41 PM
Niced to hear your wife is doing well.Hell raised by vw bug on October 21, 2005 03:12 PM
ROTFL! And good one T1G. :) On a more serious note, have not been impressed with the newer Uncle Mikes stuff, to the point I am buying other when and where I can.Hell raised by Laughing Wolf on October 21, 2005 03:29 PM
Wow. I've never thought of naming my mini-van. Probably because it's an asexual Mom-mobile.
BTW, my mini-van has those sensors too. They come in handy.Hell raised by Bou on October 21, 2005 04:11 PM
I love that woman...Hell raised by Princess Cat on October 21, 2005 05:25 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... people really are strange.. sure, I know I'm tarring a wide swath of humanity with such a sweeping statement, but it is true... even you, dear reader, are probably given to moments of violently self-pleasuring yourself in some strange way when no one is looking... but hey, that's cool... we're all just human beings with needs... and what no one else ever knows is what saves us... you don't have to admit anything here, of course... this is a public forum... no need for confessions.. but still, it is enough that you know that I know that you are a pervert...
... just what in the Hell am I talking about?... well, remember that old Napoleon Bonaparte quote about telling Josephine not to bathe?... according to a new documentary, "World's Most Bizarre Sexual Practices" by Lorenzo Matawaran, the Little Corporal wasn't the only Frenchman who liked his ladies a little on the fruity side... check it:
FRANCE -- A man and woman agree to refrain from sex for an entire month -- and also not to bathe for the month. When they finally do make love, their overpowering, funky aromas put them into a trance-like state which produces several hours of screaming, frothing-at-the- mouth, orgasm-filled sex.
.. now, look... I'm all for wild and passionate lovin'... even a little slap 'n tickle on occasion... but having someone's "overpowering, funky aromas" put me into a trance-like state is just a bridge too far....
... oh yeah... and don't think that the French are alone in their weirdness and depravity... the Irish ain't far behind...
IRELAND -- Irish women are especially fond of capturing leprechauns and forcing them to become sex slaves while the women's husbands are working the mines. "Those leprechauns are really small, but not all over, if you catch my drift," blushes Mary McCallister, 27, of Dublin. "I like to get undressed, crawl under my rainbow- design quilt, and then order my leprechaun to climb inside and try to locate the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow."
... the mind does boggle...
Read the Bullshit »
Indeed. I agree. People are wierd.Hell raised by Kelly on October 20, 2005 08:54 AM
Here I was guarding me lucky charms when I should have been guarding the missus, well I'll be damned.
And she said the moans were due to the switch to herbal essences shampoo.
I'll shoot that little green bastage if it's the last thing I do.Hell raised by phin on October 20, 2005 09:05 AM
Is it really so bad if the animal consents?Hell raised by RSM on October 20, 2005 10:06 AM
... no comment...Hell raised by Eric on October 20, 2005 10:56 AM
This almost falls under TMI - Too MUCH Information!
Part of me wishes I could contribute to the discussion with some of the dating stories and some very bizarre requests men have made, and which women (I don't know why????) have felt compelled to share with me over the years. The top 3 worst stories were all of different men in Wash DC. It's the type of stuff that can tarnish reputations and ruin careers so I won't divulge. But let me tell you, I am SOOO glad I don't work in DC anymore. Suffice it to say, that the more buttoned down the coat, the more bizarre the proclivities!Hell raised by michele on October 20, 2005 11:19 AM
Your google history must be amazing..Hell raised by James Old Guy on October 20, 2005 12:42 PM
Not that I care if you want to go without bathing for a month so you and your Significant Other can have a Ripping Good Stinky-Fuckfest, but I'll be damned if I'll be sharing an elevator with you. What ever happened to consideration for others?
If you want to get stinky before Gettin' Hinky, fine. Why not beschmear yourself with a fine unguent made of Vicks Vapo-Rub, Astroglide, and the random Dog-Turd? Apply immediately before using, and you will cause Olfactory Inconvenience to none...except your Lover, who presumably wants it.
Feh.Hell raised by Elisson on October 20, 2005 12:47 PM
The "you" in the previous comment is, of course, addressed to the Random French Couple who are into the Stinky-Hinky. Eric, being a Straight White Guy, don't play dat. I hope. Not that it's any of my bidnis, of course...Hell raised by Elisson on October 20, 2005 12:50 PM
J. Giels was hip to it... Love Stinks.Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 20, 2005 03:00 PM
.. thanks for clarifying, Elisson.. I was starting to develop a complex by the end of that first comment...Hell raised by Eric on October 20, 2005 03:19 PM
Too late, Elisson - I already have the mental image of Eric covered in Vicks Vapo-Rub, Astroglide, and dog turds.
I'm gonna have to listen to the llama song for a while to get that out of my head :-/
Hell raised by Harvey on October 20, 2005 04:27 PM
Let's hear about the Scottish, Eric.
;-PHell raised by Sadie on October 20, 2005 04:51 PM
You're sources for information scare me. I'm having a tough time with this one. Blech. I think I'd be too busy wretching to complete the task at hand... Ick.Hell raised by Bou on October 20, 2005 11:12 PM
Look, everyone's thinking it, but I have the guts to say it:
Pouty Goat-lips.
They want it, don't fight it.Hell raised by RSM on October 20, 2005 11:26 PM
Hey, RSM, didn't Willie sing once "Ewe're Always on my Mind"
:-DHell raised by tommy on October 20, 2005 11:38 PM
At least the Irish bathe.......Hell raised by Maeve on October 21, 2005 09:37 AM
I'll be gone for awhile...
*grabs leprechaun suit and head's for the airport*Hell raised by Blackfive on October 21, 2005 04:19 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... with a well-drugged Babe in the sack of the Master Bedroom, tonight's Social Club gathering went off without a hitch.... not as many faces as usual, but still an interesting group.... oh, and we kept our normal yelping, cursing, and music playing at a civilized decibel level... lest we disturb the Sleeping Goddess..... hey, I knew y'all were worried...
.... and for those who are inquisitive about my billiard skills this evening, Biker Steve whipped me good.... but that's ok.. three games to two in eightball.. Hell, he was the Better Man tonight....and life, as ever, soldiers on...
.... that is the point, right?... we keep on keeping on.... damn the torpedoes, and all that?....
... ahh... it's cool.... just as it should be..... sometimes you're the windshield.. sometimes you're the bug. and sometimes you're the husband... and sometimes you are the patient...
... well, I suppose it is acceptance... that's the real yardstick... acceptance.... once you get past that, you're cookin' with gas....
... we are what we are.. and we are WHERE we are.. and we all built our own castles and took our own roads.... today, tomorrow, or ten years from now, we all have to understand where we've been and how we ended up where the morning finds us....
.... as for me?.... after kicking out the last of the players and ensuring my Treasure was safely asleep.. well, I have no complaints... no complaints at all..... and in saying that, I am saying volumes....
Read the Bullshit »
Contentment is a good thing indeed....Hell raised by Richmond on October 20, 2005 05:22 AM
I hope your wife is feeling better. And yes, there is a lot to be said for those moments of inner peace. It seems, often, they come few and far between and it is truly only the simple things in life that are important.Hell raised by Kelly on October 20, 2005 08:50 AM
Yes, these moments are fleeting, but it's the memory of these moments that help us through the tough, scary, and challenging times.
Glad to know Sleeping Beauty was resting comfortably.Hell raised by michele on October 20, 2005 11:09 AM
Well I'm a little late, but hope the Mrs is doing well.Hell raised by livey on October 20, 2005 11:17 PM
« Shut the hell up!
.... up early and out of the house before light... at the surgery sipping free coffee as the Sun came up... back home now with a very sleepy Wifey... all went well... we be supercool...
... hey, watching the immediate change in someone as valium is injected into an IV is pretty damn cool...
... at one point during the procedure, I stepped outside for a quick smoke... Mars was up just southwest of the full moon and was shining bright orange... as I was admiring the scene, cradling a cup of coffee and letting the nicotine kick in, a line from Casablanca came to me..
... "the problems of two little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.."...
... how true... Bogey is a God..
... Casablanca... probably the most quotable movie of all time....
... anyway, an hour or so later and I was called into the recovery room... a groggy and helmet-haired Wife was blinking at me and still obviously lovin' the effects of her chemical-cocktail breakfast...
... "how YOU doin', sweetness?!", I said as I bent down to get a reading on the thermometer they had stuck to her forehead...
... "what WATCH?"...
... "twenty till nine, babe... "...
... and then she laid back and laughed...
... Lordy... I think I'm going to enjoy having a drugged up Wife.. she's a barrel of laughs...
.. and the really strange thing?... I only noticed that we BOTH had quoted Casablanca this morning during the drive back..
Read the Bullshit »
go dig up that cute orderly uniform and be a good nurse.
I hope all went well...Hell raised by armywifetoddlermom on October 19, 2005 10:50 AM
ohhh, hope she's enjoying flying high in the sky :) and wakes up with relatively no discomfort or pain!Hell raised by Michele on October 19, 2005 12:00 PM
Cognizant or not, please pass along my best wishes to her. And enjoy the dope show!
Luck to you both!Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 19, 2005 12:11 PM
Me, I like Versed. It's doperiffic!
Our best wishes to the Princess Fiona...hope everything goes well and she has a Quick 'n' Complete Recovery.Hell raised by Elisson on October 19, 2005 01:18 PM
Hope the docs sent her home with the good stuff! Please give her my best on a speedy recovery!Hell raised by Marty on October 19, 2005 02:38 PM
Glad to hear you're both home and all is well. :)Hell raised by Richmond on October 19, 2005 03:02 PM
Glad to hear the "supercool".....good thoughts and prayers for a very speedy recovery.
And you're right - Casablanca IS the most quotable movie of all time!!Hell raised by Tammi on October 19, 2005 08:36 PM
Ack! I thought it was tomorrow! I'm glad all went well. I bet she's back to trying to keep you in line in no time at all... She'll be dancing to ABBA and the Carpenters before you know it!Hell raised by Bou on October 19, 2005 10:19 PM
hope all went well, and that you keep up the bedside manner ;)Hell raised by amelie on October 20, 2005 12:15 AM
Give that fine lassie a hug for me.Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 20, 2005 03:46 AM
Give her some good wishes from my neck of the woods as well.Hell raised by Princess Cat on October 20, 2005 07:55 AM
Disagreeing - "Princess Bride" is the most quotable movie of all time.Hell raised by Harvey on October 20, 2005 04:29 PM
Bein of French descent, I do confess to seein a similarity between hairy-pitted body odor and an aged Roquefort, or the sweaty quim and a nice broiled Snapper with trufffle.Hell raised by wavemaker on October 21, 2005 11:30 AM
« Shut the hell up!
... a few months back, my dear Mother
forced me to take gifted me with a gigantic portrait of myself as a babe... 12X16 or something... imitation brass frame... an Olan Mills special... it's been sitting in the floor of the blogroom collecting dust ever since she brought it over...
... I mean, there I am... sitting upright in a 3/4-facing position... jaw slack... eyes slightly unfocused.... head like a cueball with only the faintest sheen of the coppery-red that would soon be blossoming... and, I'm dressed to the nines in a genuine blue and white pinstriped Railroad Conductor's uniform... complete, people... jacket.. trousers... and waistcoat...
... why do people do that to their offspring?.. not the giving of the picture to the now-adult me.. but having the dastardly thing taken to begin with?... sure, I have no kiddies of my own, so maybe I am just out of the loop.. is this kind of torture what goes on behind the closed doors of Parenthood?... I certainly hope not... and I know that if I fathered a child, I'd be a total sap just like all Fathers... but still, I like to give myself enough latitude to imagine that I'd never do that to my kid...
... why do I bring this up?... well, I just hung that puppy up on the wall... right above my poster of John Wayne.. and just below my hand-drawn rendition of Stonewall Jackson's monument at Manassas... and as I type this, the little bugger is right in front of me grinning like a beady-eyed madman....
... fine... it was given, and it is up.. but, and hear me people, for this I swear... if my Momma tries to pawn off that life-size monstrosity of me as a toddler wearing the Hee-Haw overalls that's hanging in her hallway and that she's happily shown every girlfriend I ever brought home since I first started dating, that'll be the last straw....
UPDATE: RSM weighs in on the subject.. and kids, it ain't pretty....
Read the Bullshit »
LOL! I have to say, it is so much fun to mess around when you have young 'uns. Crazy stuff. And as you dress them like that, you can't halp but totally laugh out loud, because they're so dang cute. That's what makes Halloween so much fun. Dressing a baby as a big pea in a pod or a dorky pumpkin.
Maybe its a chick thing, but it's a damn riot.
AND!, we love to look back and say, "ohhhhh! Wasn't he so cute? And look at that head. Remember how we used to call him Bubble Head 'cause his head was SO big and round?!" heh heh hehHell raised by Bou on October 18, 2005 08:12 PM
It coulda been worse. You coulda been in your birthday suit.Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 18, 2005 10:03 PM
You had Hee Haw overalls? Dude, that is the awesome-est.....Hell raised by bitterman on October 18, 2005 10:05 PM
Railroad conductor, eh?
Could've been worse. Leather chaps, a 16-foot bullwhip, a red hat...Hell raised by Elisson on October 18, 2005 11:29 PM
She's just getting her revenge! And you have to smile....that's the best part.Hell raised by Rachel Ann on October 19, 2005 02:42 AM
OMG, I read your post after my sister called me and asked what I wanted for christmas as her and my mom were going shopping this weekend. To my total unthinking stupidity I said "whatever you want...anything will do." I said this as I gave up long ago at having a decent or even a remotely relevant present for christmas.
Then I stopped by to read you. OMG! The fear that took over was palpable as my sister mentioned mom getting a frame and she would get me a picture to put in it. This is my kid sister, the one I would scold, put in time out, and play horrible tricks on. NOOOOO! So please help me not to suffer your fate and share with me (Mrs. SWG too)what your favorite DVD/CD's are!
Thanks, your help will help me have a good christmas! Thank you!Hell raised by Michele on October 19, 2005 11:57 AM
How cute!!! I just LOVED doing that to my babies!! Perhaps you have to be a parent to find the picture of a bald headed little drooling baby the finest thing to frame and hang on the wall but I think its a tribute to how much your mother loves you that she finds that picture something to be THAT proud of!
« Shut the hell up!
... ever have those days when you feel exactly like Valens on the eve of Adrianople?.. yeah, me too... hindsight... she's a wonderful thing...
... but, man... those damn Visigoths these days.. not only are they sneaky bastards, but they come in a million different varieties...
.. does make you think though... in the great scheme of things, Custer was a pussy....
Read the Bullshit »
I've never had a career of persecuting the Nicene Christians like you have, so, I can't really say as I can relate.Hell raised by RSM on October 18, 2005 07:17 PM
Dude! Valens rocked!
And wasn't it Hadrianopolis?Hell raised by Jack on October 18, 2005 09:12 PM
Jack - Valens was an asshole! He stabbed the Visigoths in the back and he paid the price.
Eric - Funny you should have posted this. I just finished reading about this in Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.
« Shut the hell up!
... my girl Hazel over at Little Paper Drink Umbrellas is on a Hendrix kick at the moment... hey, nothing wrong with that... nothing at all.... Hendrix was indeed a Guitar God.. at whose altar I have spent many a kneeling hour..... but in passing by, I happened to see "Little Wing" being discussed... well, I just had to stick my nose in the
door conversation, fill my lungs to their fullest, and scream "SRV"... as I have always opined, Stevie's version is much better than Mr. Jimmie's....
... sure, the purists among you might disagree... fair enough... and to you I say, I care not for your opinion... scurry back from whence you came.. after all, I am not here to discuss... I am here to preach... and today's sermon is on why SRV's version of "Little Wing" kicks the Hendrix version to the proverbial curb... why does it?.. well, it just simply does... end of lesson...
... and remember, gentle readers... you can trust Uncle Eric... yes, yes you can....
Read the Bullshit »
Should you need any help convincing people, I am yer girl.
Also, I was at an Apple Festival here in Gettysburg last weekend and there was this live band (as opposed to a dead one, I suppose, ew).
Anyway, they played Rocky Top and, as I'd just read where Rob was happy about the outcome of some football game since he didn't hafta sit thru Rocky Top being played to him by you over the phone, I stood there, goosebumped, revelling (sp?) in the song.
It made me think of you and grin big enough to hurt my cheeks... (FACIAL CHEEKS!)
Rocky Top
You'll always be
Home sweet home to me...
Good ol' Rocky Top
Rocky Top Tennessee...
(And, the goosebumps are back...)
Hugs on yaHell raised by Stevie on October 17, 2005 07:13 PM
just awesome. want to listen to at least a dozen more times tonight. thank you!!!!!Hell raised by hazel on October 17, 2005 10:30 PM
Trust Uncle Eric? I'd pay $5 to see what happens after those famous last words are uttered...Hell raised by Princess Cat on October 17, 2005 10:51 PM
point of order...
What about the over-produced Sting version from Nothing Like the Sun?Hell raised by RSM on October 17, 2005 11:04 PM
Is "Trust Uncle Eric" normally followed by hold my drink and watch this?Hell raised by James Old Guy on October 18, 2005 06:51 AM
Man.... I so agree with you!Hell raised by Michele on October 18, 2005 02:35 PM
Stevie Ray was the man! Saw him in a bar in Jacksonville Beach, Fl in '87. I never saw Henrix live but man, Stevie Ray could play that axe!
I concur, SRV's "Little Wing" is better than the original.
SRV's Little Wing was only better than Jimi's because Jimi did it first.
If you could switch the men around in the timestream, I'll bet Jimi's would've been better.
I'm not arguing your point, I'm just saying that it's no reflection on the talent of the men we're discussing.Hell raised by Harvey on October 18, 2005 05:14 PM
Jimi would bow down.
SRV was the master, saw him playing the song with the guitar behind his back fer crissakes. Jimi was good. SRV was better. Maybe the best.
But I nominate Jeff Beck in that elite crowd.
« Shut the hell up!
.... we've just witnessed an absolutely incredible weekend in the blogworld.. it seems that everyone is busy doing something.. here's the a few of the highlights...
... Blackfive visited Walter Reed and met with wounded troops...
... Velociman and Dax get instalanched...
... Acidman promises to seek some help..
... Jimbo and Zonker have birthday celebrations...
... Princess Cat braves a DC Blogmeet...
... Donnie and Queenie tell some awesome tales...
... Rube reminisces about Jekyll Island...
... Boudicca cooks for the masses...
... me?... I ate left-over ribs, watched Sin City, and carved a jack-o-lantern.... what?.. hey, my life would KILL most people....
Read the Bullshit »
Don't forget, Shoe has thrown out the date for the April Austin blogmeet, too!
; )Hell raised by Christina on October 17, 2005 12:08 PM
Thanks, bro -
DHell raised by Donnie on October 17, 2005 02:30 PM
Good grief! It sounds like you need a serious vacation! ;)Hell raised by Richmond on October 17, 2005 03:19 PM
Thank you for the link. I wish my writing had been more entertaining this weekend! I've been in full blown mom/wife/daughter in law survival mode.Hell raised by Bou on October 17, 2005 03:39 PM
jesica alba aka cowgirl stripper... perfect thing to be carvin a jack-o-lantern out of...Hell raised by oakleytexas on October 18, 2005 08:02 AM
"hey, my life would kill most people."
Amen to that! The fun parts alone would certainly send me 6 ft under!Hell raised by michele on October 18, 2005 02:40 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... being ever the adventurer, I drove into town yesterday for the Pumpkin Festival... spent an hour or so casually strolling around the court house square and watching goings-on... grown men giggling like school girls when their pumpkin won the "scariest face" ribbon... millions of kids running rampant with caramel apples and cotton candy... doddling crumblies beaming with pride while showing off their mint-condition Ford Model-T.... it was a fine day to be loafing.. bright blue sky and sun shining.. just barely still warm enough for short sleeves...
... and I picked up three pounds of ribs on the way home... the good kind.. country-cut and boneless... grilled them up with a hot Caribbean jerk & 57 marinade.. perked up some baked beans as well... and choked them down while watching the Georgia/Vandy game... all in all, not a bad way to spend a Saturday...
... one thing did stand out though... I stood in my garage with the grill going and some Neil Young on the stereo, and just looked down my driveway... two young girls were tossing a softball back and forth in a lawn across the street... their laughter rising and falling far off as one would make a catch... my neighbor in the house across from them had just taken her dog outside for a walk and was sitting in a rocker watching it play... taking it all in, I sat my evening tumbler of whiskey down and took a step forward.. the sun was slanting down through the burgundy of the dogwood leaves and the wind was whispering along with the lyrics of "Powder Finger"... I closed my eyes and tilted my head to the Sun.... feeling the last fading warmth of the day... the meat was popping and sizzling quietly.. the Wife was on the deck out back finishing up a Randian work... and I could barely make out the faint sounds of LSU grappling with Florida coming from the vacant living room...
... I was right where I wanted to be.. the good and bad of the day had been cooked down along with the ribs... and what was left was a feeling of wonder...
... I gathered up the meat, turned off the CD player and walked back inside... using the bowl of food to peck on the glass of the back door, my Wife glanced up from her book and smiled.. I began preparing the plates and she entered the house just as I was dipping out the beans... she sat down at the table and removed her wooden bookmark from the pages of the book...
... "well, babe... old Atlas has stopped shrugging... and thank God... one Ayn Rand book is enough for anyone.. I'm finally finished.."..
... "hard going, was it?"..
... "yeah.. but damn, those ribs smell good".....
Read the Bullshit »
Awesome writing...from sunburnt in Mallaig on a Scottish Sunday afternoon. My wife is looking forward to your first book!
Eric, you have the gift, man. I was there.Hell raised by Pammy on October 16, 2005 02:03 PM
A goood writer can make the most mundane activities seem extraordinary - even ethereal.
As you have done.
If you can squeeze this much joy out of a Routine Sunday Afternoon, you have gotta have a good life.
Mmmm. Jerk ribs. Whisky. Better get busy...Hell raised by Elisson on October 16, 2005 02:56 PM
I love it when a moment or a day just coalesces like that. And you captured it beautifully....Hell raised by Richmond on October 16, 2005 04:57 PM
A kind reminder to us to enjoy every moment.
Thank you.Hell raised by Amanda on October 16, 2005 09:09 PM
I can smell those ribs! You the man!!!Hell raised by Junebugg on October 16, 2005 10:59 PM
Us city folk like to get a glimpse of the burbs once in a while. Thanks, it was nice.Hell raised by New York Moments on October 17, 2005 09:21 AM
« Shut the hell up!
... whoa... hat tip to Cadillac Tight and Mr. Montana... I think I should sell this blog.. immediately...
My blog is worth $82,987.38.
How much is your blog worth?
... someone has way more money than sense...
Read the Bullshit »
I got $72,825.66. Go figure. Hey, I'd sell. I could get my new A/C and water systems then, plus some.Hell raised by Bou on October 15, 2005 10:06 AM
Shit, I might as well be on the shelf at the dollar store. $46,856,82
Sheesh. What's a girl gotta do?
Ok, never mind. Don't answer that. ;-)Hell raised by Tammi on October 15, 2005 12:36 PM
I entered my URL, and I've been sent a collection notice...Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 15, 2005 01:07 PM
My blog is worth $187,427.28!!! Do you know how many shoes that will buy? *faints* ;)Hell raised by Reilly on October 15, 2005 02:01 PM
Your blog is worth precisely $82,987.38 more than mine is.Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 15, 2005 02:27 PM
... something tells me that the system is flawed... deeply..Hell raised by Eric on October 15, 2005 04:25 PM
Every time I take it, I still get $63,793.02
Good thing it's not worth more... I would consider selling it. ;-)Hell raised by VW Bug on October 15, 2005 05:58 PM
Well Eric, the last time I looked at the top 1,000 list you were somewhere in the 600,s-maybe that's why you are worth some money. Mine comes out that I owe them for rating it.Hell raised by GUYK on October 15, 2005 07:37 PM
My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?
Somehow I think *some* folks should stop complainin'. I'm just sayin'....
I took this a couple of days ago. You're worth twice as much as me. And you're much better looking, now that I know what you're worth!Hell raised by Chicken Little on October 16, 2005 08:24 AM
You MUST have listed yours in Canadian, 'cuz I KNOW that this sad pile of redneck booze-mumbles ain't worth THAT much :-DHell raised by Harvey on October 16, 2005 10:58 AM
Must be in zlotys. Or piastres.
I played with the "html" and lowered my net worth...I didn't want to make everyone feel bad.
Keeps telling me I'm worth $0.00. Screw him. Relying on Technorati data is the problem. Not much quality control there.Hell raised by Velociman on October 16, 2005 03:13 PM
Yep, I worth just about what I though I was, give or take a nickel... well take it...Hell raised by RedNeck on October 16, 2005 08:10 PM
My blog is worth $0.00. I'd have to pay someone to take it! Not to mention the blow to my self worth...LOL!Hell raised by Ali on October 17, 2005 10:32 AM
I put in Instapundit's URL and got $3,826,452.12
Darn him to heck.Hell raised by Bane on October 18, 2005 07:04 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... yesterday, the Wife and I drove into town for dinner at a local watering hole... see, today's the day and she has to suffer at work, so we used yesterday as a surrogate... we ate... wandered through various shops... and just generally meandered as whimsy caught us... and at one point, we ended up in a shop that sold CDs and DVDs..
.. this, of course, is where the whole scenario went tits-up... I, on one side of the aisle, was fingering a copy of "Elvis - Live from Hawaii" which I was coveting... she, on the other side, deftly whisked a CD off the shelf, asked for my car keys, and headed towards the checkout....
... when I arrived out at my silver sled, the needling that assaulted my eardrums caught me totally off-guard... I knew something was wrong even before I opened the door, though... seeing the Wife's head swaying side to side in musical bliss as I approached the car from behind had me worried... her musical tastes being slightly above that of.. well, I can't think of anything that has worse musical taste than her.. hey, don't get me wrong... she's definitely lovable, just don't let her near your stereo...
... and yet, I smiled as I slid into the seat... saying nothing... patting her leg as we drove home... all the while the screeching strains of Karen Carpenter were chaffing my nerves like the cheese-grater of the Dark Lord himself.. indeed, at one point as we hit the driveway, I was almost wishing for ABBA.. almost, but not quite....
.... verily, anyone who willing listens to The Carpenters probably likes lima beans, hangnails, and dripping lemon juice into paper cuts...
... anyway, today's the day... and much like Velociman's marvelous missive, I am off to cleanse... not my soul, though... although it probably needs it, it's just fine in the funk it's in... instead, the object of purification is my Audi's bose...
... I plan to drive up to a friend's house in the mountains alternately blasting AC/DC, Dean Martin, Tom Waits, and George Thorogood at painfully loud decibel levels...
... hey, it's my birthday.. I need a relaxing drive through the country... and my stereo needs it's mojo back...
Read the Bullshit »
Happy Birthday! I hope the the Bose gets a proper cleansing and you have a wonderful day.... :)Hell raised by Richmond on October 14, 2005 09:23 AM
Happy Birthday! *raises glass to ya!*Hell raised by oddybobo on October 14, 2005 09:31 AM
Happy Birthday, Eric!
I can't do the Carpenters. ABBA, yeah, it's from my childhood. But the Carpenters? MMM. Not so much.Hell raised by Bou on October 14, 2005 09:43 AM
There's nothing wrong with lima beans, or dripping lemon juice into fresh paper cuts... but the Carpenters and hangnails are definitely in the "not so good" category.
Happy Birthday!Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 14, 2005 09:55 AM
Opps, was one post too early.
Happy Birthday! Here's my toast:
I wish I could drink like a lady
I wish I could make a good toast
But one drink and I'm under the table
Two drinks and I'm under the host!
This is the only day in the year that is totally YOURS. Make it happy!
Happy birthday, dude!!!!!Hell raised by zonker on October 14, 2005 10:09 AM
Have a good one! Hope you don't blow the speakers!
Happy Birthday!Hell raised by Maeve on October 14, 2005 10:26 AM
My friends got me a blog site for my birthday. What did yours get you?
Happy birthday, sir.
Have a great day.
RSMHell raised by RSM on October 14, 2005 10:29 AM
Happy b'day, Eric. Remember, birds sudenly appear only when you call "Pull."
~Ain't love a kick in the head?~
Happy Birthday!!Hell raised by phin on October 14, 2005 11:18 AM
"Rainy days and Mondays always get me down..."
Oh my GAWD I love the Carpenters!!!!!!!
My hubby swears it makes him physically ill though.....what a puss!
Hey...hold on a sec...let me get my CD out..
Oops there it goes..."I'm on top of the world looking down on creating...la la la la la la.."
You know you LOVE IT..hahaha..
Happy Birthday Babe!Hell raised by Sandy on October 14, 2005 01:00 PM
Hap Hap Happppppppppy Birrrrrrthday!!!!!Hell raised by blondage on October 14, 2005 01:05 PM
Happy burfday dude.
If you truly need to cleanse the Carpenter funk, I suggest some Otep or Clutch. They are the only way I can get Heinrich Himmlerâs spirit out of my girlfriends BMW after a dose of Britney Spears.Hell raised by Ironnerd on October 14, 2005 01:20 PM
just like me, they long to be, close to you...
Happy Birthday, my friend!Hell raised by shoe on October 14, 2005 01:35 PM
Happy birthday, bloggranddaddy! : D Many happy returns!Hell raised by amelie on October 14, 2005 02:12 PM
Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you...and many mooooore. (sang in my most drunken off-key voice)Hell raised by Kelly on October 14, 2005 02:16 PM
Happy Birthday to you. I'd sing it but I don't want to get chased away. ;-)Hell raised by vw bug on October 14, 2005 02:34 PM
Happy Birthday bro.
I'd love to say things, but everyone else beat me to it! I love the Carpenters too. Please don't hate me?
Happy Birthday, man. I'm gonna have one bourbon, one scotch and one beer for you tonight to celebrate. Then I'm gonna be b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bad to the bone. Have a good one.Hell raised by Dash on October 14, 2005 04:09 PM
Yeah. Everybody funny. Now you funny too. Happy birthday.
Happy Birthday, O Straight One!
He gathered his buddies together,
Drinking like the proverbial fish.
Recumbent, in chair of rich leather,
And only arising to pish.
He knows well the Law of the Yukon,
Where it's colder than Polar Bear Shit.
And he isn't so drunk that he's "pukon"
Or can't read the words that he's writ.
O Eric, enjoy this, your Birthday,
I hope that you have many more.
Now, what is this thing on your shoulder?
You can't brush it off: it's the floor!
Happy Birthday.
But I gotta say - they told me at Disney that I sound like Karen Carpenter when I sing. Should I be worried?!?!?Hell raised by Tammi on October 14, 2005 06:56 PM
Hey man, Happy Birthday. I'll say this, Karen Carpenter is "still" head and shoulders above Yoko Ono... See what I'm gettin' at? I'm not a particular fan of K.C. either, or, far as that goes, or for that matter, the "Captain and Tenille", but now, Yoko Ono??? I think you get my point man. I hope the Bosepipes got a good cleanin'. Somethin' tells me that Vaughn Scott got the rough grain work, then George T, came in to make it a little smoother, followed by Warren, for the semi fine, and finally Frank for the "polish" on the job... I'm just guessin' though. On the order or work, that is. Yoko sucks as a singer though, and that ain't no guess.
And I adore the Carpenters. I think Karen has a beautiful voice. (And I do NOT like lima beans, hangnails, or dripping lemon juice into paper cuts.)Hell raised by TNT on October 14, 2005 07:34 PM
Happy Birthday! And nobody should have to listen to the Carpenters on their birthday-or the Carpenters' birthday either for that matter.Hell raised by GUYK on October 14, 2005 08:26 PM
Hey brother. I hope is was a good Birthday, and that you're still celebrating. I'm headed to the bar, so I'll raise one in your honor.Hell raised by Johnny - Oh on October 14, 2005 09:11 PM
Happy Birthday, Bro.Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 14, 2005 09:25 PM
Yes, happy birthday, blogbro! This is what I get for not reading blogs all day - farooking ethernet port!Hell raised by Sadie on October 15, 2005 03:40 AM
Happy Birthday Eric!Hell raised by Sticks on October 15, 2005 06:30 AM
happy birthday, dude. may many more follow....Hell raised by mr. helpful on October 16, 2005 03:03 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... after playing around outside yesterday, I enjoyed a brief siesta on the couch before The Gang arrived... I woke from my nap with Robert Service in my head... it happens sometimes for no reason at all... well, at least for no reason that I can think of... it's always different poems, too... yesterday it was the steady plod of "The Law of the Yukon" that I found myself mumbling as I awoke...
Swift as the panther in triumph, fierce as the bear in defeat,
Sired of a bulldog parent, steeled in the furnace heat.
Send me the best of your breeding, lend me your chosen ones;
Them will I take to my bosom, them will I call my sons;
Them will I gild with my treasure, them will I glut with my meat;
But the others -- the misfits, the failures -- I trample under my feet.
Dissolute, damned and despairful, crippled and palsied and slain,
Ye would send me the spawn of your gutters -- Go! take back your spawn again.
... and then it went on further in my head... bits and pieces...
Drowned them like rats in my rivers, starved them like curs on my plains,
Rotted the flesh that was left them, poisoned the blood in their veins;
Burst with my winter upon them, searing forever their sight,
Lashed them with fungus-white faces, whimpering wild in the night;
... it kept coming...
In the camp at the bend of the river, with its dozen saloons aglare,
Its gambling dens ariot, its gramophones all ablare;
Crimped with the crimes of a city, sin-ridden and bridled with lies,
In the hush of my mountained vastness, in the flush of my midnight skies.
.... here's the whole poem if you care to indulge... I posted it a while back.... it's a powerful piece of writing, to be sure, but I still can't understand why I woke up with fragments of it oozing from my noggin... the rhythm of the words almost like footsteps hitting pavement... addictive... still, it could have been worse... I suppose it could have been Seuss...
... see, rubberneckers?... there is always a bright side...
Read the Bullshit »
Thank you for the posting. I have been a daily reader but I comment rather infrequently,but todays posting compelled me to thank you for turning me on to someone new who speaks to the majesty of the sorts of things that have affected my life. Again...... thank you.Hell raised by Arrathorn on October 13, 2005 10:22 AM
Psst...Joe sent me!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC!!!!!!!!Hell raised by Marty on October 14, 2005 07:19 AM
« Shut the hell up!
... folks, Chai-rista has it going on... how so, you say?... well, she pointed me to a site filled with beautiful, brunette, belly dancing librarians... check them out...
... great site.. great site... just what I needed to stir the oxygen tanks this afternoon... the only downer?... they all took their glasses off once they slipped into the belly dancin' getup...
Read the Bullshit »
I had to go back and re read this. I first read belly dancing LIBERTARIANS and was trying to figure why they pulled their glasses off. But figured it must have had something to do with the libs wanting to legalize hash which does make the belly dancers look even better! But these belly dancers lookedgood to me even without their glasses.Hell raised by GUYK on October 12, 2005 02:44 PM
Have to fire up Photoshop & draw some glasses on those chicks...Hell raised by Harvey on October 12, 2005 04:50 PM
.. that Rachel Benbow is a cutie pie...Hell raised by Eric on October 12, 2005 04:59 PM
Shit fire, they can work on me forever, CatHell raised by Catfish on October 12, 2005 06:21 PM
You and that librarian fetish. Heh...Hell raised by Sadie on October 12, 2005 06:51 PM
From the same site, I think I found how your fetish developed (the titles are hilarious):
No photos.Hell raised by Blackfive on October 12, 2005 08:56 PM
Love it!!!!!!!!!!! Those librarians rock.
Belly dancing is a blast. There's a bunch of "workout" DVD's out there these days that teach you how. It is great for the abs!
« Shut the hell up!
... Wednesday again... cool and damp with a breeze today... the 2X12X12s that have were stored under the pool table in the garage are now gone... that'll make the guys happy tonight... no more stumbling over them as they position themselves for a shot... of course, I should have finished the steps and railings of the deck last weekend, but I chose to visit the Buds in Helen instead... after all, we HAVE to have our priorities... and I try to never miss a chance to knock back a few with those fine peeps...
... I sit here now wearing the first fleece of the season and listening to some Van Morrison.. Van the Man... he's got that rare talent of being able to sing totally unintelligible lyrics and yet keep your fingers snapping... kinda like a lot of blogs I read... you never know what the hell they are talking about, but you just keep on going back for more...
.. anyway, I'm just back from driving my Mother to the airport this morning early... I dropped her off while it was still dark and crossed the Tennessee River heading south just as the glow of the pre-dawn was beginning.... the mountains were to my left, and as the Sun broke their crest I suddenly felt tired... not really sleepy, just plain tired....
... latent vampire tendencies, I suppose... getting sleepy at dawn.. or maybe the karmic residue of some other unknown nocturnal prowler...
.. but, hey... we've got to pet our inner monsters alongside the saints, right?... sure we do.. woe betide the man who lets one side get jealous and disturb the balance.. after all, that is the key... balance... keeping your thumb on the inner psychopath whilst pulling the inner clergyman up by the collar...
... probably something to do with being a Libra, but I'm not 100% on that....
.. so while y'all ponder, I'm off to soak up some October sunshine on the patio...
Read the Bullshit »
but Eric, i like my inner psychopath, he keeps life interesting.
:-DHell raised by tommy on October 12, 2005 03:18 PM
... I like mine too, Tommy... but that's just the thing.. if you don't smack him down once in a while, he gets uppity...Hell raised by Eric on October 12, 2005 05:03 PM
Hmm, I need more thumbs to keep my inner psychopaths in line!Hell raised by livey on October 12, 2005 09:33 PM
is it your birthday? Libra......must be any day now.Hell raised by armywifetoddlermom on October 13, 2005 01:20 AM
« Shut the hell up!
... having spent many, many hours listening to extremely bad music, I have developed a certain knowledge of the best music to steer clear of... my musical tastes range from peak to peak of high art and down through the valley of ear-bleeding badness.... hey, it is a failing of mine... sue me....
... imagine my chagrin when reading this small tale over at Drunken Wisdom... and although T1G does not come right out and say what kilt the farmer, I immediately knew who the culprit was... foul and insidious and lurking amongst many an uninformed rural farmer... the werecow...
.. indeed, a wily varmint if there ever was one... capable of many heinous and no doubt bloodthirsty acts.... so remember, children, as Halloween approaches, ghouls and goblins long-hidden begin to surface... it's just that time of year...
Read the Bullshit »
Kilt? You're wearing a kilt?Hell raised by Sadie on October 11, 2005 01:46 PM
.. sheesh...Hell raised by Eric on October 11, 2005 01:49 PM
...music to steer clear of...
indeed. :) Ha!Hell raised by Richmond on October 11, 2005 02:16 PM
Well, if you like Tom Waits... I'll drink with ya. How about somewhere east of East Saint Louis.Hell raised by Partamian on October 11, 2005 03:54 PM
"Moo Moo Moo"
Bwahahahahah!Hell raised by Johnny - Oh on October 11, 2005 05:29 PM
Heheh... it'd be really funny, except that bellerin' is exactly what I heard....Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 11, 2005 11:30 PM
« Shut the hell up!
.... well, it is finished...
... damn, I hurt all over.... 8am start and finishing just as dusk fell at 7:30pm.... the working life does not agree with me, I suppose... soft, and all that.... we broke for lunch at 3:45... truly, I am beat down..
... I never knew that screwing could be so painful...
... be that as it may, the site was dedicated, of course, with laphroaig (me)... and dickle (my Uncle).... toasts were made and sawdust swept... chests were thumped and phonecalls made... hey, it was an event...
... now?.. time for a shower, ibuprofen, and more Scotch.... all three, incidentally, make me feel much, much better...
... that said?... NEVER again.... never ever again...
Read the Bullshit »
Do you have to stain it or did you go with composite stuff?Hell raised by livey on October 10, 2005 10:11 PM
..choice dek, livey.... no stain, thank Jeebus...Hell raised by Eric on October 10, 2005 10:53 PM
Way to go, Eric, just in time for a Scotch on a perfect autumn night.
Well done, sir, well done.
; )Hell raised by Chrissy on October 11, 2005 08:50 AM
Heh. You say never again, but it's like childbirth. You'll forget how awful it was. 10 years from now, if it is time to rebuild, all you'll remember was how satisfied you were with the final outcome... then you'll do it again. ;-)
Congrats! Pictures would help us better envision the fruits of your labor. Hint Hint!Hell raised by Bou on October 11, 2005 11:06 AM
Decks lead to other projects, always have and always will, take your break, enjoy life but there is always a project lurking.Hell raised by james old guy on October 12, 2005 09:42 AM
« Shut the hell up!
... today's the day... after sporadic weekend workings, the two-month long deck building project will be finished... we put up half of the hand-rails yesterday.... the rest go up today... oh, and the steps as well.... we'll finally be done...
... to say I am excited is an gross understatement... but, and here's the twist, I'm almost sad to see it completed... for the past few months, it has provided me with daily grief, success, pain, teeth-gnashing, hair-pulling, wallet-fleecing, sore muscles, and pride...
... unlike writing, building something tangible really is... well... tangible...
... and so, dear Mr. Deck... it has been a pleasure, Sir... watching you grow and transform from materials to structure has been wonderful... and from now on, you and I get to kick back...
.. today is the day...
Read the Bullshit »
Congrats! There's nothing quite like standing back, looking at your project, and knowing that it is done... and done well.Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 10, 2005 08:17 AM
And Mr. Deck has been a great source of blog fodder. Now we get to hear how you'll enjoy it!Hell raised by Bou on October 10, 2005 08:30 AM
Congratulations on completion! Can't wait to hear about the christening....Hell raised by Richmond on October 10, 2005 10:04 AM
Pictures :-)Hell raised by Harvey on October 10, 2005 10:10 AM
Time to see a picture of all you hard work Cuz...Hell raised by Big Daddy C on October 10, 2005 11:34 AM
Congrats! I'm sure Mr. Deck will be a great G&T companion for many years to come.Hell raised by Princess Cat on October 10, 2005 12:42 PM
This calls for a Refreshing Beverage, preferably one made in Scotland.
A good friend of mine just finished a similar project. Four months' worth of weekends. The results? A magnificent three-level Deckus Magnificus - and a good chunk of what he enjoys about it is that he Built It Himself.
Good on ya.Hell raised by Elisson on October 10, 2005 01:22 PM
Sounds like a great place to drink Scotch...Hell raised by Blackfive on October 10, 2005 02:17 PM
« Shut the hell up!
.... I woke this morning feeling like a bad line from a Tom Waits song... "I'm disheveled. I'm disdainful. I'm distracted and it's painful."... yep, that was me until just a few hours ago... when a bright spark ignited a well of feel-good that I haven't felt in ages....
... honestly, people... I now have a mission....
... I MUST find that woman from the Post cereal commercial and ensure she's at the next blogmeet... I've simply got to meet her... no, seriously... don't laugh, I'm her biggest fan...
... sure, you know the one, right?... the middle-aged black woman with the hairnet who utters the immortal line : "It's like a mouthful of JOY!"...
... I want to play half-rubber with her... I want to sit quietly in the corner as she shoots tequila and tells tales of working at the Post cereal factory... I want to get her hammered and find out what's under that hairnet... gaze into those sparkling eyes brimming with mischief... and we'd laugh and laugh and laugh....
... the problem is, I don't know where to send the invitation... I wonder if a well-intentioned email to corporate headquarters would get handed down to the plant floor...
Read the Bullshit »
The pinultimate thing I appreciate most about your site, is the insight you acquire just from observation and living your life. When I read you, I often feel as if I am in the midst of some open wonderous natural space, swinging in a hammock, relaxed on the edge of a dream, my eyes closed, the brush of a breeze and the warmth of the sun soaking into my bones and through the thin skin of my eyelids...your stories of nature, critters, the mystical, and the mysterious and the joy in a mouthful of cereal make me smile, deep inside, where it really and truly counts. It gives me a sense of inner peace - a rarity these days. Thanks Eric.Hell raised by Sinequanon on October 9, 2005 01:20 PM
You can try it.... Do you 'spoze she is like the Snapple lady and actually works there? Maybe she has a fan site or something.... Huh.Hell raised by Richmond on October 9, 2005 03:26 PM
Oh my goodness gracious... Damn man... after those last two, all I guess I can ask is, "Where's the koolaid cups brother?". You've got 'em ready to drink it. ;)
i think it might! try it and see.Hell raised by hazel on October 9, 2005 05:29 PM
That woman slays me! I also want to meet those two guys from that beer commercial that are trying to look cool while singing "Turn Me Loose"...just to see if they really are that geeky LOL.Hell raised by Chablis on October 9, 2005 08:03 PM
I was googling 1st Shore Party Bn and found your Happy Birthday wish to us jarheads. You said your pop was in Hue in '68. I would have been his boss. Who's your pop and where is he?
Barney Halloran, 1lt USMC Ret
I dunno, Eric. If she started talking about a "mouthful of joy" around that particular bunch, who knows what the interpretation of the moment might be? It'd be fun, that's for sure. But I'm not sure the poor woman would ever be right again after a weekend with us!
I'll help you find that lady if you help me find the guy that says "cuz trucks don't have bowl holders" ... so that I can put him in a little cage in the corner of my living room and make him say that on command. What? It makes me laugh...Hell raised by Princess Cat on October 10, 2005 12:46 PM
.. makes you wonder, though... if she goes that nuts over Post cereal... how would she describe the Artillery Punch?...Hell raised by Eric on October 10, 2005 07:33 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... the dear Princess Cat wrote about rain a few days ago, and it is beautiful... go now and have a look.. a short, sharp shock type of post.. marvelous...
Read the Bullshit »
... who can you trust these days?... no, really... think about it... we live in a world where, for the most part, if someone has a white coat, a name strip, badge, or a gun, we sit down and listen.. but watch out, people... that's a trained outlook... usually by our parents who, bless them, were trying to create in us fine members of society... little did they know how we'd all turn out... or that most of the authority figures we look to are just as perverse, fetid, and scoundrelish as WE are....
... yeah, recently I've been broke from sucking eggs... and when the realization hit, I was reminded of a bloodletting incident from long, long ago...
... I was 22 years old and finishing my tour in the Corps... a five year vet who had enjoyed a blast of a time wearing the uniform for Uncle Sam... trotting the Globe and wearing the Anchor, so to speak...
... anyway, I had been called forward to my exit physical.. a battery of exams, proddings, and orfice-lookings that ensured I was clean and healthy enough after my worldwide sojourn to actively get back home and pound Miss Emma Jane Hometown without fear of giving her an exotic STD or plague...
... I remember distinctly walking up to the clean, shiny desk at the base hospital and handing my paperwork to a regal looking female corpsman... late 30s and fine... and hoping that she would be gentle with me.... and I was heartened when she pointed to a room over my shoulder and instructed me to visit it and strip to the waist... but, alas, that singular mental image that played in my mind as I un-did buttons was the only fun I had that day... as I slipped off my tee-shirt and imagined her taking my pulse, my fantasy was shattered by a geeky wisp of a man who couldn't have been more than 14...
... crestfallen?... sure... but I knew, after all, that I was there to get stuff done... and after all, this man wore the whites of a corpsman.. a trusted soul.. every Marine's best friend and most precious being... I knew, deep, deep down, that I was in the hands of My Keeper...
... he read my chart and took my blood pressure as we made small talk... he asked me about where all I had been.. I asked him about the Latin Goddess he had to work with everyday... sickroom banter, I suppose.... the normal things you talk about when someone is preparing to inspect you as never before... hell, I was almost relaxed when he broke out the needle for collecting blood....
... now, I'm no fan of needles... but I ain't scared of them either... all servicemen were forced to give blood at every drive and I had done it a million times over the past years.. I suppose the old adage "the life you save might just be your own" was more true in the case of on-base blood drives... still, I flinched just a little when the corpsman slid the needle into my arm... unlike the previous million pricks, this one hurt.. bad.. he wiggled it... moved it side to side once it was in the vein....
... I said nothing, though... I just watched on as he threaded the vial onto the needle and the blood began to fill it... he was, after all, a professional... just doing his job...
.. once the first vial was filled, he twisted it off.. and not in a gentle way... I was beginning to get pissed... "just one more vial, Corporal", he said.... fuck me... I can put up with ANYTHING for five minutes, I thought.... and he roughly put on the second vial....
... the blood was flowing well... he was holding the filling vial with one hand and writing with the other... when suddenly, and unearthly pop was heard.... FFFWWOOAAAAAPPP!... the seal on the vial had failed and a fine mist of my precious blood exploded from the vial... the whole room was covered... him... me... the fucking ceiling....
... to say I was livid would be an understatement.... I was in pain, enraged, and drenched in my own blood...
... "I am SO sorry!", he blubbed as he wiped my red sheen off of his eyeglasses... "What the FUCK are you DOING, you ASSHOLE?" was my honest inquiry...
... "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... this has never happened before... I didn't mean to hurt you... you are only my second patient, and..."...
... breaking him off, I screamed.. "What did you say?... WHAT?... you are a corpsman, for chrissakes!.."...
.... he shifted his eyes from mine to the floor... "actually, I'm from admin.. they gave me a class yesterday on how to take blood and I've only been here a day..."....
... just perfect, eh?... a staff shortage had resulted in me putting the ultimate faith in a medical uniform stuffed with an office pogue... just because he wore the uniform, I trusted him implicitly....
... I don't want to sound cynical, but that experience changed me... see, uniforms are like road signs.. if one says "Stop", you stop... they are to be respected... but don't put all your faith in them either... if one says "bare your vein, brother".. ask for references before sheeping right up to the table and whipping your shirt off..
... blind faith is just that - blind... trust and respect are jewels to be earned...
Read the Bullshit »
Great story, and good point... one I learned in a similar manner. I didn't even trust the doctors who had time in... Marines are to Navy docs what holocaust victims were to Himmler.
May have slightly exaggerated that, but not by much.Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 8, 2005 10:52 AM
You shoulda lifted one of his eyeballs out with a tongue depressor......Hell raised by bitterman on October 8, 2005 11:47 AM
Hell, I had that happen at a VA hospital lab one morning and the clown who took the bllod was suposed to have been a trained lab tech. But is tough to take blood and talk about the chick that he was porkin the night before at the same time, I reckon.Hell raised by GUYK on October 8, 2005 03:04 PM
Excellent advice to heed next time a white coat person tells you to "bend over and spread 'em."Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 8, 2005 04:18 PM
That story made me cringe. Similar to throwing my hands over my face while watching a scary moving then peeking through my finger. Blech.Hell raised by Bou on October 8, 2005 05:43 PM
Good grief!
I am sooooo glad I didn't read this *before* I went to donate today. I've has my share of amateurs but that's ridiculous!
Hell raised by Richmond on October 8, 2005 05:49 PM
Ugh, dittoes on the 'been there done that', only I uppercut my corpsman and took out two cubicle walls with him and nearly lost a stripe. Some colonel/doctor was eating me a new one while they carted the corpsman off for x-rays, and then he noticed the blood splattered everywhere (mine) and pouring out of my arm. I had actually heard the needle tink as it blew out my vein. I hate needles anyway, and you do not want to show a grunt his own blood. I hope that little bastard died.Hell raised by Bane on October 8, 2005 08:51 PM
Bless your heart hon. Call me next time that comes up and I won't hurt you a bit. Promise.Hell raised by poopie on October 9, 2005 09:20 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... "What happened to us?"
... "I guess we're just moving"...
...... "yeah.."
.. "but is it good, this moving?.. do you like it?.. I mean, really?"....
... "for the most part, yeah..."...
... "feels strange, doesn't it?.. how it all works? how we keep changing?"...
... "and lonely... it feels lonely too.. but only sometimes." ....
... "...I love you."....
.... "I love you too"....
... "what happened to us last night?"...
... "just nerves, I guess..." ....
... "yeah, I suppose so... you want breakfast?"...
...."bacon would be good... I think I'd like bacon... "...
... "and eggs?"...
... "... uh-huh... that sounds nice... "...
... "..you want to help, or should I bring it to you in bed?"...
.... "... no, I'll help... I like to watch you move... "....
.... "..you're a piece of work, you know that?"...
.... "yeah, yeah... and before you ask..." ....
... "... huh?... ask what?"...
... "yes, it's a good kind of moving."...
Read the Bullshit »
That's cool, Eric. Why is it that I see you and Fiona before my eyes? And why is it that I can't decide which one of you's gonna stay in bed? :)
Fiction? It read pretty real.... :)Hell raised by Richmond on October 7, 2005 12:45 PM
OH I hate when you do this! Makes my overactive imagination go in all kinds of weird directions!
And people wonder why I'm crazy....Hell raised by livey on October 7, 2005 04:49 PM
stories that are straight dialogue are the best!Hell raised by hazel on October 7, 2005 06:22 PM
nuther verr fine bit o'ritin, sir. ye tell the hole story in bout 1 hunnert wurds. i am impressd.Hell raised by buddy don on October 7, 2005 08:00 PM
"I love writing dialogue."
Grace replied, "I'd prefer that you clean the basement."Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 8, 2005 04:41 AM
Good stuff Eric. Well done.Hell raised by Moogie on October 8, 2005 10:40 AM
ok, I am trying to figure out if this conversation took place before or after....? We really want to hear the in between stuff.....
I am guessing you went to the kitchen....
« Shut the hell up!
... a while back, I had a corps of fine bloggers step up to guest post... they did a fine, fine job... one of them didn't even have a blog... well, that's changed now... and he's off to a running start...
... drop by and welcome RSM to the family...
Read the Bullshit »
Another blogkid. I'll tip a beer in congrats, Dude!
You sure are a fertile bastard...Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 6, 2005 01:10 PM
EXCELLENT!Hell raised by Chrissy on October 6, 2005 01:26 PM
Yipeee... you procreated another child.Hell raised by vw bug on October 6, 2005 02:29 PM
RSM...like SWG. Who did you mate with?
Miss PMS. You mated with Miss PMS.Hell raised by sadie on October 6, 2005 02:32 PM
Wow, you're almost as prolific as Harv! Congrats!Hell raised by Bou on October 6, 2005 04:18 PM
congrats! how many does that make?Hell raised by amelie on October 6, 2005 05:19 PM
... four, I think... Christina, Cat, Shoe, and now RSM... I didn't know I had it in me...Hell raised by Eric on October 6, 2005 05:25 PM
such talent you've produced!Hell raised by amelie on October 6, 2005 05:28 PM
I swear, crankin' out blogkids is like crack, ain't it? :-)Hell raised by Harvey on October 6, 2005 07:45 PM
Congrats!Hell raised by livey on October 7, 2005 04:54 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... listen up, rubberneckers.... in everything, there is a right way and a wrong way... plan to immortalize mind-jobbing an incredibly drunk bride-to-be who's swimming with playful sharks?... do it like this... venture to complain about being ill or feeling poorly?... follow The Rube's example... THIS is how you say you're sick... take note...
"Normally, I've got an iron constitution, seeing as over the years I've built up an environment of toxins in my body that's inhospitable to your average germ varmint. To all life, really. The soupy buildup of nicotine, alcohol, and stress toxins in my blood would put the post-Katrina sludge in New Orleans to shame, just wait until the Rube-Tsunami hits, then let's see Curious George wriggle out of the media storm that follows. "Rube: What Went Wrong?"
... see, if you are going to bitch, the very least you should do is make it interesting....
Read the Bullshit »
... good morning, campers... today's jawdropping headline story comes courtesy of Contactmusic.com... contact music, indeed... what is it that they say about any publicity being good publicity?...
... "Status Quo guitarist RICK PARFITT misses the days when the entire band use to masturbate together on one big bed - as it formed a special camaraderie between the rockers."....
.... whoa... yeah, re-read that... amazing, no?... I suppose now would not be a good time to mention that Status Quo is attempting a... well, a comeback... heh heh...
Read the Bullshit »
Gah... that's just too much!
I'd say it probably formed a little more than camaraderie between the sick fuckers!
"Baby batter binds us." Their old slogan...
No, it's true. :)Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 6, 2005 01:15 PM
Eeeewwwwwwwwww!Hell raised by Richmond on October 6, 2005 02:43 PM
Holy crap. That makes me want to vomit. Blech.Hell raised by Bou on October 6, 2005 04:24 PM
... yep.. a rock'n'roll circlejerk... not a very pretty mental image...Hell raised by Eric on October 6, 2005 04:29 PM
Well, maybe, if I could balance a Playboy on his head...Hell raised by Bane on October 6, 2005 07:13 PM
Kinda puts "Pictures of Matchstick Men" in a whole, not entirely flattering light, don't it?Hell raised by Rube on October 6, 2005 07:17 PM
I get along with my friends and yes, there have been some weird things that have happened before during a long night on the deck or out camping, but they usually involved alcohol, fire and a double dare. This is a little more extreme that I would have imagined. To each his own, I suppose, but I'd have hated to have to be the roadie who tried to explain to the groupies why the boys were tired.Hell raised by RSM on October 6, 2005 10:31 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... right now, the lovely Wife is on the deck with a pint of wine in her hand telling The Tale of The Toomah to her Ma and Pa in Scotland... and damn, the saga is only half-writ....
... we spent most of the afternoon at a day-surgery waiting to get that fucker weaseled out... and after some local anesthetic and an hour of fiddling, the Doc says it's in too deep.. slippery, slidey, and wrapped around something important... a real pissant according to the sawbones...
... mercy sakes... still, today be Wednesday, and y'all know what that means.... yes, yes... The Wife shall regale a garage full of inebriants with tales of swash and buckle, blood and gore... it should be most interesting...
... oh, and on deck two weeks from now, The Rhyme of the Ancient Spindly Thing... we're all about the entertainment around here... and damn if we don't find it just about everywhere....
Read the Bullshit »
Oh my! I hope that everything's okay (and that it doesn't interfere with her pool game).
There's nothing fun about that!
(And I'm serious about the hoping everything's okay part....)Hell raised by Richmond on October 5, 2005 05:50 PM
Amen, to Richmond's comment 'bout the serious stuff...
That's why I hate that 'day-surgery' bullshit. You never know what you're gonna find when you open the hood.
Day Surgery is just a way for hospitals to save money, and still hit your insurance.
Man, I hate (most) doctors.Hell raised by Bane on October 5, 2005 08:06 PM
I am sorry to hear about the wife. I hope she gets it taken care of soon and is getting better quickly.Hell raised by vw bug on October 5, 2005 09:27 PM
My best to the Mrs. I'll keep her in my prayers, but knowing how tough the Scotish are (from their history), I know she'll be doing real well real soon!
Me too! What they all said above. Poor thing - hope she's feeling better very soon.Hell raised by Teresa on October 5, 2005 11:09 PM
I found this on someone's blog (forgot whose) and thought of you, only with stoch instead of beer. Hope the Mrs. is OK.
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.
Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer". The drug is found in liquid form and available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps and in large "kegs".
"Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of "Beer" and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.
Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several "Beers", men will often succumb to the desires to perform sexual acts on women whom they would never normally be attracted.
After drinking "Beer", men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.
At other times, these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage".
Men are much more susceptible to this scam after "Beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
Please forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this "Beer" and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly affected like-minded guys. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.
Hell raised by Junebugg on October 6, 2005 04:57 AM
SCOTCH, DANG IT!!Hell raised by Junebugg on October 6, 2005 04:59 AM
« Shut the hell up!
... today's quote of the day comes from Trouble in Shangri La... and it's a goodun...
My friend pushed me farther than anyone ever has, though. He asked me, "What do you HOPE they see?" I had to think about that one for a long time, my shame and fear overwhelmed me in that moment. I finally said, "I hope they see someone who is a survivor. Who was loyal. Who did her best. Who hung in there and didn't want to be divorced. Who loves her kids. Who is afraid and wounded and has been through alot, but is still hopeful." And I meant it.
.. reminds me of a Cowboy Junkies lyric... "where you've been is good and gone, all you keep is the getting there"...
Read the Bullshit »
evrything is not enough, nothing is too much to bear.....
Margos voice is one of my favorite sounds on the planet....
.. mine too, AWTM... mine too...Hell raised by Eric on October 5, 2005 11:03 PM
got damn, i never knew you linked to me. I am flattered beyond ALL BELIEF. Thank you so much.Hell raised by catzmeow on November 9, 2005 08:28 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... having just visited his "neck of the woods", I can attest - if even in only a very, very small way - that the accents in NJ are indeed colorful... and Jimbo gives us a brilliant look at them with this post....
... in Jersey, I stuck out like a sore thumb... all "yes, ma'am", cowboy boots, and "excuse me".... but in Manhattan?... I was gellin' like Magellan...
diversity chaos is the rule there... homeless bums from North Carolina in Central Park... Tennessee Hillbillies wandering museums.. herds of Japanese atop the Empire State... traffic policemen with names like Dobrinksikova and accents you could cut with a knife... Italian shopkeepers sweeping sidewalks in front of their shops... and Mahmood from The Stan barreling through the streets behind the wheel of his taxi...
... I talked to them all, people, and my cornbread voice never phased them...
.. but in New Jersey?... heh... from the colloquial, well... fuggedaboutit...
... when we boarded the NJ Transit at Penn Station and headed to Newark, I swear I saw a sign that said... "Beyond this point, there be
Dragons Goombahs"...
Read the Bullshit »
I'm impressed with the knowledge you acquired in the short time you were here.
Not only were you gellin' like magellan... you were a fashion vanguard in your cowboy boots.
They are now everywhere! See what you started.Hell raised by michele on October 5, 2005 11:23 AM
OY. I married one of those Joisey boys. An Italian one at that or as my Grandaddy from Alabama would say, Eyetalian. When I go to his family's house up in NJ for a holiday weekend and when all the cousins and aunts and uncles sit around that table, I am tempted to look for a movie camera. Funny stuff.
I could do my whole blog on it... every night. It would be like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", but in reverse.Hell raised by Bou on October 5, 2005 04:27 PM
Da woim toins. I have a feeling that when I get to Tennessee the folks there will know I ain't from there. :-)Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 6, 2005 03:36 AM
« Shut the hell up!
... looking through the trees, the robin's egg blue of the afternoon sky silhouettes each branch of the trees perfectly... framing bark and moss... the wind stirs each leaf with a different rhythm - only off by half of a beat, and catches the sunlight - and the eye of the watcher - with the same lure... almost like the beating of wings, the leaves... the sparkle of autumn, I guess.... still too warm for October, but that is alright....
.. amazing, really... how blessed we all are to be breathing, free human beings alive on the face of the planet... even if it were raining....
... damn... if today were a book, I'd fold down a corner of this page so that I could readily find it during mid-winter.... and re-read this day spent under the dogwoods and poplars... with wind chime and tiki lamp... and banana trees and beer...
... it's not perfect, that is true... but nothing is.... but, hey.. it is wondrous....
Read the Bullshit »
Damn! No way I could write that. Well done, Bro.Hell raised by Jim - PRS on October 4, 2005 08:44 PM
.. sure you could, Jimbo.. just wait till you see my backyard..Hell raised by Eric on October 4, 2005 08:47 PM
I hear you.
Here it is also too warm for October but the sky has taken on the exceptional hues of fall -- I have lived all over the U.S. and never seen blues like this -- and the leaves.... heavenly. I continue to feel blessed when I see them.Hell raised by Richmond on October 4, 2005 08:49 PM
What's autumn? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, I was born and raised in South Florida. Our seasons consist of nine months of death scunge and three months of fair to a moderate chop...hehheh.
To bad I won't get to see the place of such inspiration.
I'll console myself with hopefully seeing nice pictures.Hell raised by michele on October 5, 2005 09:47 PM
« Shut the hell up!
.... I was up early this morning, and in a rush to get out back to do some writing, I skipped my morning shave... normally the shower is where I do it... but not today.... well, I just came inside to fetch a drink, and I decided I should go ahead and shave.. what a difference...
... it must have been years since I shaved without being in the shower... watching the movements of my hands in the mirror was incredibly strange... after ages of shaving by touch with my eyes closed, it was pretty interesting to watch the process again...
... I suppose that tomorrow I'll perform the task in the shower...
.. strange, though... how handling a mundane task with a slightly different twist can start you thinking...
... anyway, I'm headed back out to finish a story and drink a Becks on the patio..
Read the Bullshit »
Shaving.... nope, don't really recall doing that...Hell raised by Graumagus on October 4, 2005 02:01 PM
I used to love to watch my Dad shave. It's a fond memory. The scent of the soap, his talking to me with his face all lathered up, crinkling up his face trying to get those hard to get whiskers.
My husband has an electric razor. I don't think I've watched a man shave in 30 years.Hell raised by Bou on October 4, 2005 09:03 PM
The last time I tried to shave with out using a mirror I came close to being hospitalized for blood loss... NEVER AGAIN!Hell raised by Contagion on October 5, 2005 08:49 AM
« Shut the hell up!
.. I'm really hungry.. I think I'll go get something to eat...
Read the Bullshit »
The quintessential Bonfire post...Hell raised by Harvey on October 4, 2005 11:48 AM
fur pie ala mode?Hell raised by GUYK on October 4, 2005 12:50 PM
Head on over to Phin's...Hell raised by That 1 Guy on October 4, 2005 01:35 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... after refreshing naps yesterday afternoon, I was informed that the remote control was the property of the missus for the next 24hrs.... dire news, I know.... and after eight hours of Lifetime Movie Network, I am ready to do damage... that is some sick shit, those programs.... the trials I put myself through to swing a day or so of partying with my buds....
... still, I suppose I could proffer up a movie review of Closer since I have nothing else to write about, but dammit, I'm just not going to... just trust me on this.... it must be art or something... you know, like one of those magnificent pieces of sculpture that looks exactly like a cube... or a freshly wrangled turd... ultra-modern and ugly and yet howled on by critics... leaving you, the relatively normal person, scratching your noggin in undereducated disbelief... in other words, people, I didn't get that movie at all...
... add to that the fact that Natalie Portman gets her tits out and drapes her coochie over Clive Owen's nose and the damned camera still manages to miss it all, and you've got the picture...
... that's just wrong on so many levels... the movie, in the end, is exactly like this post... uninteresting, depressing, unfulfilling, and full of tears, angst, and the overwhelming foulness of humanity.... I know now why they call it the Lifetime network... it feels like it takes a LIFETIME to sit through one of those shows...
.. PBD is to blame, I guess.. Post Blogmeet Depression... well, either that or the effect of watching Jude Law weep for two hours... I'll leave it up to each of you to prognosticate accordingly...
Read the Bullshit »
Rather be treed by a pack of rabid dogs, I would.....Hell raised by bitterman on October 3, 2005 12:06 PM
Had very little desire to see Closer before. It's definitely crossed off the list now.... Thanks for saving me 2+ hours.
What does it say about me that I agree with you COMPLETELY about that movie?
Gack! What a waste of talent...
Now Serenity ... that was a Fine movie!Hell raised by Barb on October 3, 2005 01:40 PM
Pete and I watched Closer a couple of weeks ago; strangely, he enjoyed it a lot more than I did. But he digs those allegedly heavy/deep/real movies a lot more than I usually do, myself - he's an English professor, he'd read the original play, etc.
After seeing it, however, I think I can safely reflect that it's not supposed to be a very comfortable movie for a relatively happy person to watch. Every character in the thing is an asshole. If you find a character with which you identify, you just might want to take a minute and think about that, knowwhatimsaying?
Although, I will say this: Clive Owen is still a hottie. Love that caveman/meathead act on him. Yowza!
"uninteresting, depressing, unfulfilling, and full of tears, angst, and the overwhelming foulness of humanity ..."
this made me laugh out loud.
it pretty much sums up my life, which probably explains my occasional fondness for the lifetime network! and my husband suffers similarly. ("good god, what are they crying about NOW?" can be heard echoing through the house.)Hell raised by hazel on October 3, 2005 03:12 PM
1. Terminal illness, coma etc.
2. Love triangle, quadrangle, etc. ending in murder, suicide, some kind of death.
3. Greed, ending in murder.
4. A combination of any or all of above.
That's Lifetime Movie Network.
Makes me want to go set fire to something, preferably the house...after nailing the doors shut.Hell raised by wayne on October 3, 2005 03:49 PM
I guess I could just never get drunk enough to watch Lifetime.Hell raised by GUYK on October 3, 2005 04:33 PM
Jude Law is a raging metrosexual.Hell raised by Sadie on October 3, 2005 07:38 PM
Next time this happens do yourself a favor, just go running out of the house screaming and waving your hands over your head like you're a muppet... At least it will be less painful and embarassing as admiting you watched a lifetime movie. :)Hell raised by Contagion on October 4, 2005 09:00 AM
I used to make my ex-husband watch Lifetime Movies all day on Saturdays. It wasn't that I liked them so much as I was showing him how I felt being made to watch football all day on Sundays. Of course it ended up working against me as he later decided he was gay.Hell raised by Joan on October 4, 2005 10:51 AM
Sorry I just pass Lifetime channel right on by on the dial. I have little interest in that type of programming... I think I like Kelley's description of it best. *grin* Sorry you ended up watching it - perhaps you should've spent the day outdoors instead... just a thought. ;-)Hell raised by Teresa on October 4, 2005 11:36 AM
That station only leaves me with wanting to scream at the women in those movies to, GET A LIFE. Either that or the incredible desire to throw something at the screen. I'd rather be reading, writing, talking to an interesting blogger than watching that channel.
EXCEPT if they have something funny or uplifting.
You are so on target with that review. The reason it has you scratchin' your noggin is that those are the kind of self-involved people that live in this city, it's all about their self-interests and motivation. They think their emotions are soulful, rather than those of self-indulgent brats who have no capacity to exercise morals. Sad really, their insides are empty and that's what was reflected on the screen.
Glad to read your workin on something there! Can't wait to read it.Hell raised by michele on October 4, 2005 05:24 PM
... thanks, people... however, I'm still torn over Jude Law's performance in the flick.... I think he needs punching...Hell raised by Eric on October 4, 2005 08:15 PM
Well, dammit, just after I get your blog taken off of our html blocking service (SWG listed as Adult/porn content), you go and review freakin' Closer???!!!!!!!
Nice. I give SWG about two days before it's blocked and I have to petition them again...
Hell raised by Blackfive on October 6, 2005 05:59 PM
« Shut the hell up!
... bruised, sore, and smiling.... exactly the way you are supposed to be after a good Jawja Blogmeet... met some new old friends, too... my blogdaughter Shoe, Elisson, and Leslie.. three fine human beings.... it was a pleasure toss back a few jugs with them....
.. so to Kelley, Velociman, Dax, Key, Denny, Thunderman, Moogie, Acidman, Sam, Donnie, Rick, Georgia, and the rest.... thanks for a wonderful weekend... y'all make quite a crew.... it's incredible that the folks at the Kristy keeps letting us come back....
... by the way, does anyone know how/why that drunk German Girl ended up in Sam's partyroom?... you guys remember... the German Girl who couldn't speak German and claimed to have two glass eyes?... anyone make sure she made it safely back to her fiancé's room?... hey, I'm just asking... I left early (3AM), and she was fine when I parted...
... also, whomever poisoned my Wife needs to fess up... she puked her little guts up all the way home... and while quite amusing for the fine photo-ops it afforded - there ARE wonderful mountain backdrops on Highway 52, you know - it became monstrously tedious by the time we hit Chatsworth.. so whoever you are, you owe me... bigtime...
... as for me, I'm in fine fettle... never drink on an empty stomach, people... it's not just a motto... live it...
.... and if you ever find yourself needing grub in Helen, GA... I recommend the Troll under the Bridge... I can speak highly of their Best of the Wurst...
Read the Bullshit »
Hey I only gave her chettos and beer,andbuttershot but, I do recall that Donna drank something did our lovely Scottish Lass drink that. Well were safely home and I feel great.Hell raised by georgia on October 2, 2005 07:29 PM
So I can't spell.Hell raised by georgia on October 2, 2005 07:30 PM
The non-German German chick? She wandered out of Sam's room around 3:30 or so, never to be seen again. Destination unknown, man.
I managed to keep my eyes open until 4:00, then I crashed in Recondo32 and Georgia's room. Hell, I felt fine until I ate that damned piece of German cake for breakfast - that set off a chain reaction in my guts that didn't settle down until an hour ago.
GREAT to see you again, Eric.Hell raised by Donnie on October 2, 2005 09:02 PM
I bought the "fake" german girl. Sam don't like nothin' if it's "made in 'merica". Somebody, somewhere has his "Mercedes" in a vlice.
He tol' me he wanted a watch dog since he was supposed to have the "partay room". I sent top o' the line I thought. Blind in both eyes and can't see outta the other is what showed up?
I want my money back. ;)Hell raised by RedNeck on October 2, 2005 10:51 PM
yes, it was fun and so beautiful in georgia. i liked the jam session by those that dared tube that hooch.
sorry fiona was so sick and i can relate. three days with that punch does put the hurt on a person. i won't hear the word artillery without cold shivers shooting through my spine, you can count on that.
great meeting you!!Hell raised by shoe on October 2, 2005 11:21 PM
Now, that...that was a Blogmeet.
Complete (and replete) with BlogMeat, by which I mean the "German" girl. Oooh, my blown-eyed girl.
I oughta feel like hammered shit - I folded same time Donnie did - but I guess I didn't eat the DeathCake. Naw, feels good. Good to have met this Demented Crew - made me feel right at home.
I guess I can play guitar while drinking vodka and not while drinking punch.
and, no, Fiona did not taste of the Deadly Sazerac Cocktail, thank Gawd. Hope she's feeling better by now.Hell raised by Elisson on October 3, 2005 12:02 AM
So who has the blackmail photos? I wanna see!Hell raised by Maeve on October 3, 2005 02:49 AM
... what a bunch.. you people inspire me... no, really... we need to do this again...Hell raised by Eric on October 3, 2005 08:41 AM
Hell, yes, that was a good blogmeet. It was so good that I found myself calling in sick to work this morning. What can I say? I felt fine yesterday, but *this* morning...? Ugh. All that, erm, activity hit me like a ton of bricks.
So glad you two snuck in on us. Wouldn't have been the same without you!
...truly WOULDN'T have been the same without the devilish grin and Scottish accent!
I'm feeling for the lovely wife. Was it the red, buttery slipper?Hell raised by Key on October 3, 2005 12:44 PM
Always good to see you two my friend.
I might have to take more than one day off.
4:00 am. 3:00 am. 4:30 am.
Kabamn...I'm done.Hell raised by Sam on October 3, 2005 02:19 PM
and I so wanted to show off my new .17...
...grumble...I seem to ALWAYS miss playing with the cool kids.
...return of the SSG: 36 days....Hell raised by Adam on October 3, 2005 11:29 PM
Great to see you and Fiona again. I'm hoping she's feeling better by now. I actually was ok, just tired. I figured I needed to stay low key and let someone else wear the crown this time.Hell raised by Moogie on October 4, 2005 07:49 AM
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