text:
Print never goes out of style
Print publications are definitely here to stay, providing a valuable 'shop window' to your brand, but consumers are becoming more discerning and selective in terms of what they read. Which is where we come in.
Our award-winning team produces a range of cutting-edge, thought-provoking magazines, from conception through to execution, and can formulate an effective distribution plan to help you reach your target audience within budget and to deadline. Whether it's one-off promotions, newsstand titles or customer magazines to deepen existing relationships, we produce successful campaigns that inspire, inform and connect people. Working across the B2B and B2C markets, our integrated in-house print management and pre-media department delivers unrivalled expertise, efficiency and speed of response to our clients in the form of directories, magazines, inserts, newspaper lifestyle guides, special reports, one-off guides and bookazines.
Customer Publishing
We can help you maximise your brand identity by creating your very own printed or online communication medium that ensures optimum levels of customer retention. Coffee table books, inserts, posters, email newsletters, booklets, event guides, supplements, pocket books, annual guides and lifestyle bookazines are ideal brand loyalty builders.
Case studies
Find out how we helped National Geographic society to make their Traveller brand a UK success, and how our customer magazines help drive holiday sales for Travel Leaders' member agencies.


text:
Find information on common issues.
Ask questions and find answers from other users.
Suggest a new site feature or improvement.
Check on status of your tickets.
More tags
Best product is the NanoAtomChanger.Known As Cheat codes to life. Find me a better product ?
Closed | Responses: 0
How about one nanobot that could make a team of nanobots to change any atom into any other atom and create atoms of any type…
Would doing a degree in chemistry help me in the field on Nanotechnology? Specifically NEMS field
Closed | Responses: 1
I am currently an undergraduate student at Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario, Canada studying Engineering Physics. From this program I gain a very similar education as...
Nanotechnology how does it come together?
Closed | Responses: 2
How does a nanostructure come together? What materials and what instruments are used in order to make this happen?

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Lacy Peaks Cake
Additional Information
Step 1
In advance, make gum paste flowers: Prepare one recipe of gum paste and tint 1/4 ivory, 1/4 rose, 1/4 dark kelly/moss green combination and 1/4 light kelly/moss green combination.
Step 2
Roll out and cut 25 each ivory and ivory/rose flowers using apple blossom cutter from flower making set; let dry on small flower formers dusted with cornstarch.
Step 3
Roll out and cut 20 each dark kelly/moss green and light kelly/moss green leaves using large rose leaf cutter from flower making set. Mark veins with veining tool from confectionery tool set; let dry on small flower formers (1/2 on inside, 1/2 on outside).
Step 4
Brush dried flowers with water and sprinkle with pink or granulated sugar. Pipe tip 2 dot centers in buttercream.
Step 5
Place cake on cooling grid positioned over cookie sheet. Lightly ice cake with buttercream icing.
Step 6
Cover cake with melted candy; let set; repeat process and let set completely. Position cake on serving plate and pipe tip 1s cornelli lace.
Step 7
Pipe tip 2 bead bottom border; position leaves and flowers around cake.
Ivory Icing Color
Rose Icing Color
Moss Green Icing Color
Kelly Green Icing Color
3 packages White Candy Melts® Candy
Soft Pink Colored Sugar
granulated sugar
In Stock (ships in 1-2 business days)
Cookie Sheet
The bead shape makes impressive borders outlines and accents on letters and designs; also a cute trim on clothing and gingerbread houses. The basis for making piped hearts and figure piping.
The random lacy design of this free-form technique depends on the continuous curving lines that do not overlap or touch. Can be used in a small design area or on an entire cake surface. Good for wedding, anniversary and other formal event cakes, but lends itself to more casual themes, as well.


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Motherhood Problems: I Illustrate My Funny And Sometimes Painful Parenting Moments
I'm a mum of three little boys. For the past year, I've been keeping memories of those sweet / funny / painful parenting moments by drawing. It's helped me find the lighter side of certain situations, particularly while I was battling post partum depression.
I'm enjoying sharing my cartoons with other parents who can relate! So it's just that. Fun, short comics about my life as a mother (and I believe the life of many other mothers too).
More info: Facebook
#1 Post Partum Depression
#2 Are You Feeding Him?
#3 Do This, Do That
#4 Play Time
#5 Breastfeeding
#6 The Perks Of Breastfeeding
I was always thirsty while breastfeeding and always forgetting to pick up drink :D
#7 The Truth About Giving Birth
My first was like the second comment and the second was like the first :) You never really know until you do it. And anyway, it's not something you ever have to do if you don't feel like it. Nothing wrong with going for epidural. If you can enjoy your birthing experience more that way, then I'd say go for it.
#8 Chewbacca
#9 It's A Boy!
When my twin Brothers were born, i asked my mom "why two? One is enough, Ruben should go in the Bin.
#10 Nap Time
I found, if I lay down with my sons, they would fall right to sleep - ummmmmm - so did I LOL
#11 Ezra 2015
Popular on Bored Panda
See Also on Bored Panda
#12 Babywearing
#13 Breastfeeding
that always made me crazy too, especially when it was my (ex) hubby asking...I still fed both my boys until just after 2 years, and will never regret it..and they're great adults now. Keep going as long as it feels right for you! It's an individual choice!
#14 Post Partum Stomach
I had four in four years. My father asked me for the next ten years if I was pregnant every time I saw him. He finally stopped when I answered, "No, Dad, I'm just fat now!". XD
#15 Round And Round The Garden
Popular on Bored Panda
See Also on Bored Panda
What do you think ?
Hang in there...you're doing great, and so,, I suspect, are the kids!
Hang in there...you're doing great, and so,, I suspect, are the kids!


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What To Do With All That Firewood
Burning firewood is bad for both your health and the planet. It is for this reason that many people have made the switch to environmentally friendly Earth-log Fire Logs. If you are one of these individuals, you might have a stack of old firewood taking up space in your side yard. Old firewood can be a breeding ground for insects and fungus. If stacked against your house, these pests can easily travel inside your home.
Recycling, repurposing and reusing are essential to the health of our planet. You should never throw out good materials without first considering whether or not they can be used again. Wood is one of the most versatile materials on Earth. It can be used for a number of different things, it ages beautifully and gains character over time. Never underestimate what you can do with your old firewood. Let's discuss some of the things that you can do with leftover firewood.
If you are crafty, firewood can be used to create a number of unique pieces that you can keep, gift or even sell. With a little imagination and skill, old firewood can be repurposed into several different home décor items. Wood can be carved, painted and wood burned to create the desired effect. Popular wood craft ideas include:
- Wooden clip boards
- Book ends
- Rustic signs
- Book stands
- Wooden hot pads for hot dishes
- Tall, small containers for kitchen utensils
- Hexagon boxes to hold cooking oils and vinegars
- Spice racks for frequently used spices
- Small open faced clocks
Another popular use of old firewood is to create a water-efficient raised bed for gardening. Examples can be found with a quick search online.
Sometimes you can find people that are willing to take your old firewood off your hands to either re-purpose or sell. This typically depends on the quality and quantity of wood you have.
If all else fails, you can always take your old firewood to your city dump or your municipal compost facility.
Earthlog fire logs are made using a closed loop, zero-waste production process. Earthlog fire logs are made from locally sourced clean waste paper and fully refined scrap candle wax. Earthlog fire logs burn hotter than wood, create up to 80% less smoke and smell wonderful. Earthlogs are made using 100% recycled resources and are the ONLY scented fire logs available today. In addition, the Original Citronella Earthlog Fire Log naturally repels insects without the use of harmful chemicals.


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GALANG LLC was organized on June 25, 1995 building on the experience of its owner Jesus B. Galang on his earlier venture – Hubara Foodstuffs, Sharjah.
The company holds Commercial License No. 238255 issued by the Government of Dubai and distributes dried food products with emphasis on dried fruits and noodles. It also carries a variety of Filipino dried food products including bulk dried fruits, biscuits, snacks, nuts and catering pack mango slices which are supplied to hotels. Fruit purees are being distributed to juice factories
Carboholix contain unique nutrition food range like low carb healthy food, diet food, Low carb food, diabetes food, organic food, low carb pasta and low carb breads which help to improve the human condition or cope with life's daily challenges.
icaviar Company is the recognized source for the most prestigious Wild Iranian Caviar in the world.for. In such instances, Caviar exalts.
Iranian caviar has best quality in the world, because of ecologic of the southern part of Caspian Sea and health standards, GMP and HACCP in all stages of fish processing, handling and transportation, packaging and maintenance of quality worldwide.
Manufactures,Impoter,Exporter,Wholesalers Of Steel & Aluminium Household Items,Kitchenwares,Cookwares,Foodstuffs,Cosmatics etc.
UAEShops.com © 2016. All Rights Reserved.
Website Designed in Dubai by www.gulfIdeas.com


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American world No.13 Sloane Stephens was a runway model in the Just Dance with Boy Meets Girl fashion show during Style360 for Fashion Week in New York City on Thursday, together with actress Brittany Snow and designer Stacy Igel.
Prior to the show, on September 12th, Sloane tweeted:
Warming up for the runway @ the @justdancegame fashion show w/ @boymeetsgirl by playing #JustDance2014. Designs by @stacyigel!! #AD
(source: The Slice)


text:
This message board is for all things Warriors' and Rugby.
Quote:I'm still interested.Which price would that be?silver warrior
Hi for those who have ordered tickets they will be available for collection from the supporters desk upto half hour before kick off.
If anyone is still interested in coming to this game I can still order tickets at this price but can't guarantee you will be sat with the other supporters.
Total users online:
Most users online:
Users on this site:


text:
Application Maintenance
M-Square Systems application maintenance and support services relieves your IT specialists team of routine maintenance tasks and allows them to focus more effectively on strategic areas. Initiating the process of outsourcing helps the client to optimize internal processes and organization, raise business efficiencies and ultimately – save money.
Our Application Maintenance Services include:
- Application Review
- Analysis for Outsourcing
- Task management
- Request level management
- Application support and maintenance
- Application documenting
We can have full responsibility for the maintenance, support and enhancement of any or all of your packaged, including Oracle, .NET, J2EE, Java and mainframe applications. Maintaining and supporting your key business applications improve the quality of business services and minimizes the cost, time and risk associated with upgrades, expansions and consolidations.


text:
Furniture Imports & Services
Architectural Products, based in Navsari,Gujarat , is a leader in providing homeowners, architects, and builders with a wide selection of high quality construction products. Our reach has extended dramatically over the years, yet our commitment to providing impeccable service and unerring attention to detail remains the same.
We provides comprehensive construction management consulting services that provide the best results for your project. Our experts possess decades of engineering and construction experience and apply this knowledge to the everyday challenges that owners, contractors, engineers, and architects face throughout the construction process.We provide the right construction
strategies and help you complete projects on time and within budget.
Our roots can be traced to the 2001, as one of the founding families to bring building materials and exterior doors into the state of Gujarat.we continue to seek new ways to improve and protect our customers' greatest investments – their homes.
Our full selection of architectural products can accommodate every style and need – from ultra-luxury all Chinese custom products to builder grade – all while bringing the greatest amount of value to our customers.


text:
New 2016 Michael Breed Commercial
as Aired on "The Golf Channel"
Michael Breed Birdie Path
Michael Breed Focus Point
"Every Golfer should own a Big Moss putting and chipping green. I do and absolutely LOVE IT! The truest and most honest surface available."
- Michael Breed
"Big Moss Putting Greens provide my students the opportunity to build a stroke as pure as the roll of a Big Moss Putting Green. I LOVE my Big Moss Putting Greens and know every golfer would LOVE one as well."
- Lou Guzzi, PGA
Putting, chipping, and pitching can be difficult and frustrating for most of us because we just dont have time to practice. The founders of Big Moss Golf realized this from conception and strive to create the most realistic, versatile, and affordable short game aid for golfers throughout the world.
Big Moss putting and chipping greens are hand crafted in the USA by golfers, for golfers. The absence of straight edges on most models allows for us to develop and practice a putting routine by setting up over putts time and time again without any linear aids, just like we do on the golf course.
Big Moss premium putting and chipping greens are perfect for home and office use. They offer unmatched versatility for teaching and year-round practice. Every model rolls like a freshly-cut bent grass due to our built in True-Roll technology. They are completely portable and set up in minutes without tools. Break Snakes allow you to create unlimited contours making putting fun and exciting. Compete with family and friends of all ages and enjoy yourself while improving your short game skills with Big Moss.


text:
A shockingly realistic "live action" shooting game that caters to children has opened in Queens.
The game, called iCombat, " outfits children like SWAT officers— with fake assault rifles and other toy guns," NBC 4 New York reported Thursday.
"Compressed air in one type of toy gun even simulates recoil when the gun is fired. And players wear electronic vests that light up when hit - showing where the victim has been shot," NBC added.
While the argument that violent video games can be blamed for every shooting is a little extreme, iCombat probably takes things a little too far.
The game was adapted from a law enforcement training system called irTactical, according to NBC.
"There's no question that this increases aggression and it desensitizes them to killing, and it's a big, big mistake," Dr. Harris Stratyner told NBC New York.
But Peter Fermoselle, the agent for Indoor Extreme Sports in Queens, says his facility, which offers iCombat, doesn't promote real-life violence.
Indoor Extreme Sports doesn't let people buy guns, and it doesn't promote a military or ultra-violent lifestyle, he points out.
"We don't sell a single gun," Fermoselle told Business Insider. "We just don't provide that."
While it is commendable that the facility doesn't sell guns, it's worrisome that there isn't an age minimum for what looks like a very realistic shooting experience.
In response to criticism, Fermoselle stressed that parents accompany young kids to the facility.
"A 10-year-old just doesn't walk in and fill out a waiver and go play," Fermoselle said.
DON'T MISS: This Is What Happens When You Sell Pink Guns That Look Like Toys >


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Time Magazine | Oceanic Global: The Current
- By Tess
Tess Felix
Publication: Oceanic: The Current
Publication Date: May 4, 2017
Article about the artist, Tess Felix.
OCEANIC GLOBAL is a non-profit highlighting the arts and artist using art as a way to impact the world environment.
Time Magazine Online Highlights Tess Felix's Art
- By Tess
13 Artists Who Turned Ocean Trash Into Amazing Art | TIME
Author: Marisa Gertz
Publication: Time Magazine Online
Publication Date: June 8, 2016
In recognition of World's Ocean Day
Selected Piece Beth Terry, Ocean Eco Heros Series
My Art will be shown at a conference: PLASTIC IN THE MEDITERRANEAN SEA
- By Tess
I am one of three artists who's work will be shown at the conference for Plastic in The Mediterranean. This event is organized by the Prince Albert ll of Monaco Foundation, Surfrider Foundation Europe, Tara Expeditions and the Mava Foundation. The conference will be focused on exploring solutions that can reduce or end the plastic waste that is in the Mediterranean and impacting marine life.
The show will also feature artist and photographer Gregg Segal's images from his powerful series 7 days of Garbage as well as selected pieces from artist and photographer Alain Delorme's poetic series of plastic clouds that mimic the dance of wild starlings, Murmurations. It is so exciting to show along side them!
The conference will be held in Monaco on March 10 and March 11. The show will be on display for two months, starting March 10th. at the Gallerie des Pecheurs, Monaco
Inside Cover, My Plastic Free Life
- By Tess
My Plastic Free Life
2nd. Edition
Author, Beth Terry
INSIDE COVER Skyhorse Publishing 2015
Beth Terry asked to use my portrait of her as her bio pic for the 2nd edition of her book, My Plastic Free Life. It was elevated to the inside cover. Fabulous!
Online Press
- By Tess
Waste Land: Plastic Garbage Portraits by Tess Felix, author Deborah


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Mamapedia, a secure, confirmed deal site, is offering a $30 credit to cafepress.com for $15!
To sweeten the deal, if you make a new account with Mamapedia and use MOMS2 at checkout, you pay only $13 for a $30 cafepress.com credit!
|I entered MOMS2 at checkout to save $2 more dollars!
Want to get in on this deal? Just go click here to sign up!
Click buy, then at check out, enter the code MOMS2 to save $2 more dollars!
|Here is just one example of what you can buy on cafepress.com! Go here to sign up for the credit!
Since this is a NEW, updated deal, you should be able to purchase it again! I am going to be able to stock up on all kinds of activist accessories for giveaways and to wear around town! YAY


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Swim training is courtesy of ISO Aquatics, a SwimSwam Partner.
The AQUA BOOM® is a revolutionary fitness device that facilitates full-body conditioning. It is the only equipment on the market utilizing buoyancy and viscosity for a low-impact, high-intensity workout appropriate for every athlete.
University of Tennessee Head Coach and AQUA BOOM® Technical Advisor Matt Kredich has developed multiple ways to utilize AQUA BOOM® to gain strength and flexibility to help take your swimming to the next level.
In the video clinic below, Coach Kredich shares ways to work your kick and core using the AQUA BOOM®.
AQUA BOOM® Vertical Flutter Kick
AQUA BOOM® Vertical Dolphin Kick
AQUA BOOM® Core Work – Plank-Advanced
The Aqua Boom is one man's vision to meet the needs of all athletes. Plagued with injuries, founder Tony Shutts realized the need to modify his fitness activities. The Aqua Boom did more than that — it helped him get in the best shape of his life.
ISO-Aquatics, LLC was founded in 2012 as the vehicle to commercialize founder Tony Shutts' first product concept, the Aqua Boom. Our name is a tribute to our chosen discipline of isotonic exercises in the water.
Follow Aqua Boom on Twitter
Like Aqua Boom on Facebook
Follow Aqua Boom on Instagram
Swim training is courtesy of ISO Aquatics, a SwimSwam Partner.


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...you've missed your chance!
To celebrate London, our exciting appearance at Stylist Live - and life in general - we are giving away a luxury hotel stay in this gorgeous central London hotel, yards from a host of top attractions and superb shopping.
The prize consists of a one-night stay in a deluxe double room, with dinner and breakfast included - and with an extra £250 to spend with Bluebella, so you can ensure your have all the beautiful lingerie and nightwear you could need for your trip!
- Entry to the draw closes on 30th October 2016.
- To enter the prize draw enter your email address in the form on this page. Please note that you must enter via this form even if your email address is already on the Bluebella mailing list.
- Email addresses are for the use of Bluebella, and will not be submitted to a third party.
- The prize consists of a one night Bed and Breakfast stay, for two adults, in a deluxe double room at the Ampersand Hotel, South Kensington, London, with a maximum overnight stay cost of £450 (room limit of £350, with an additional £100 Dinner and Breakfast allowance), plus a separate £250 to spend on Bluebella Lingerie and Nightwear.
- Travel costs are not included.
- The prize must be taken by the 28th January 2017.
- Bluebella employees, or those of any associated company, are not eligible to enter.
- The winning entry will be randomly drawn from the entry pool within 28 days of the draw closing, and the winner informed by email using the submitted email address.
- If no response is received within a further 28 days, Bluebella reserve the right to withdraw the prize and award it to a new winner drawn from the remaining entries.
- Bluebella may request that the winner's name and image is published on the Bluebella website and social media.
- Bluebella Ltd are acting as the promoter and all queries should be directed to email@example.com


text: Tru Huynh wrote: > On Wed, Jul 09, 2008 at 08:42:12AM -0700, Chris Miller wrote: >> I just had a customer's bind server lose all of it's local DNS records. >> Yum updated the bind packages this morning at ~6am, and replaced the >> original /etc/named.conf file, saving the old as named.conf.rpmsave. This >> seems like the opposite of what it should have done (i.e. save the new >> file as named.conf.rpmnew). > If you have the caching-nameserver package, it's the expected behaviour: > > /etc/named.conf is "owned" and labelled as "config file" for caching-nameserver. > > The regular bind/bind-chroot don't provide named.conf. > You should not install the caching-nameserver package if you are > indeed providing DNS services with bind... Thanks! I wasn't aware of this package, and it was indeed at fault. Seems like the package should be named bind-caching-nameserver... Chris


text:
Baseball Falls vs. Army West Point 11-4
Related Links
Score: Army West Point 11, UAlbany 4
Location: Varsity Field in Albany, N.Y.
Records: UAlbany 18-21, (8-10 AE); Army West Point (31-21, 18-7 Patriot League)
Short Story: UAlbany falls in a midweek game against Army West Point 11-4.
Coach Mueller: "I think we gave them too many free passes today. The biggest thing when you play a good team like that, whether at home or on the road, you have to limit the damage from those free passes. I thought we swung the bats pretty well. It was good to see some guys start to come to life. We struggled on the mound, but some of those guys haven't been out there in a while. When you're having games cancelled and you're not playing every day and you might go 16 or 17 days between appearances I think expectations have to be reasonable. We'll look forward to Niagara tomorrow.
Key Stats
- J.T. Genovese lasted 1.1 innings, allowing two runs on four hits with one strikeout
- Nick Bird lasted 3.2 innings, allowing three runs on four hits with two strikeouts
- Connor Takacs lasted 1.0 innings, allowing four runs on five hits
- Angelo Spedafino lasted 2.0 shutout innings, recording two strikeouts
- Travis Collins hit 2-4 with a home run and a walk
- Connor Powers hit 2-4 with a home run and three RBIs
- Chris Turco hit 2-4 with a double
How it happened
- Army West Point loaded the bases with two outs in the top of the first, but J.T. Genovese recorded a strikeout to get out of danger unscathed
- UAlbany put runners on first and second with one out in the bottom of the first but came away with no runs after Army West Point turned a double play
- After putting runners on second and third with no outs to start the second, Army West Point came away with two runs to take a 2-0 lead
- With runners on first and second with one out in the bottom of the third, Connor Powers hit an RBI single through the right side to drive in UAlbany's first run of the afternoon
- Army West Point added one run in the top of the fourth
- Army West Point took a 5-1 lead with two runs in the top of the fifth
- Travis Collins hit a one-out solo home run to right in the bottom of the fifth. Two batters later, with one on and one out, Powers hit a home run to right to cut the UAlbany deficit to 5-4
- Amy West Point responded immediately, scoring four runs in the top of the sixth
- Army West Point loaded the bases with one out in the top of the ninth, coming away with two runs to bring the final score to 11-4
Next: UAlbany will have their seven-game homestand interrupted with a trip to Niagara for a game Wednesday at 1:00 p.m.


text:
Compassionate Dentistry For The Entire Family In Seattle
Now Offering Limited Time Specials!
Ballard Neighborhood Dentist is committed to helping patients afford their dental care needs.Offers Expire: May 31st, 2019
$100 Off
Teeth Whitening
Do your teeth look stained or dull? Take advantage of our in-office teeth whitening offer!Learn More
$100 Off
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Our Seattle dental office cares for patients of all ages, including seniors and children, as well as those suffering from dental anxiety.
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Dr. Shane Sidhu and our entire team at Ballard Neighborhood Dentist understand that children are often nervous about visiting the dentist, especially if it's their first visit. That's why our office is proud to have:
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Our entire staff is committed to ensuring our youngest patients are 100% comfortable and relaxed in our Seattle dental office.
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At Ballard Neighborhood Dentist, we believe there is no place for scolding, judgment or bullying in dental care. Gaining your trust is important to us and the last thing we want to do is make our patients feel like they can't be honest with us about their habits or health history.
Dr. Sidhu and our team will offer you suggestions, support and education to help keep your smile healthy for a lifetime, and we have a no-guilt dental care policy!


text:
For the last three years, Ellen Philbin has submitted nominees for the George Bailey Award. Each year, her nominee was chosen.
This year, Philbin forgot to submit a name, but that is OK. Her name, as it has been the last three years, was submitted and Philbin herself will take center stage as the George Bailey Award winner.
The ceremony will take place Thursday, Dec. 6, at the Strand Theatre. The reception begins at 5:30 p.m. and the ceremony is at 6 p.m., followed by the movie presentation, �It�s a Wonderful Life.� Tickets to the ceremony, which include admission to the movie, are $10 and will be available at the door.
The George Bailey Award was established in 2009 by the Wachusett Chamber of Commerce to honor someone who helps out the community, but in a quiet way, like the main character, George Bailey. Past recipients include Cynthia Cannon, Barry Whitney and Bob Latini.
This year, the award is being presented by the Discover Clinton Committee, in cooperation with the Strand Theatre and the Item.
�I really am speechless,� Philbin said, after being contacted about the award. �I find it really hard to believe anyone would nominate me for an award such as this and even more difficult to believe that anyone would place me in the same company as previous award winners.�
Philbin was nominated as �one of the unsung heroes who make Clinton the wonderful community it is.�
�Ellen has been quietly going about doing good deeds without recognition for years,� Tena Zapantis wrote in a letter of nomination. �She has made it her life�s mission to be the �mother� to all, and not just her four amazing children who she and her husband, Ed, have done an incredible job raising. From the old to the young, Ellen is always right there to help with her compassionate spirit.�
Philbin has been active in many nonprofit organizations over the years, including the Item Appeal and WHEAT, and is now a volunteer docent at the Museum of Russian Icons.
�She is there at least once or twice every week and often informally promotes Clinton � its cultural and business benefits � to the visitors. She also serves as mentor to docents in training.
Philbin, who previously lived in Lancaster, is now a resident of West Boylston, but �her heart remains in Clinton,� Zapantis wrote, offering her support for causes and residents.
�I think it is about time Ellen Philbin is recognized for all she has done and continues to do to make a difference in the lives of others in our community,� Zapantis wrote. �She exemplifies service above self and in dedicating her life to helping others, serves as a remarkable role model to each of us.�
Philbin said she is �humble and grateful� to be chosen.
�For years I delighted in the movie �It�s a Wonderful Life� and was delighted when this award was conceived in Clinton,� she said. �This is the first year I have not submitted a nominee or nominees for the award as we were away and involved in the election process and I forgot to send my nominations in before the deadline.�
Philbin praised the previous three winners.
�I�ve seen the extraordinary contributions they have made over and over again in such consistent, compassionate and quiet ways. They truly have made a difference in the lives of friends, neighbors and total strangers through their warmth and generosity of spirit. No matter what your situation, once you leave Cindy, Barry or Bob, you honestly believe there is hope and it�s a �wonderful life.� To think that I have been included with his group is an unexpected blessing this Thanksgiving.�


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You are hereHome | Press Releases | Obama administration protects Atlantic from harms of drilling, leaves Arctic vulnerable to devastating oil spill
Obama administration protects Atlantic from harms of drilling, leaves Arctic vulnerable to devastating oil spill
The Obama administration today announced its Proposed Outer Continental Shelf (OCS) Oil and Gas Leasing Program for 2012-2017. The following is a statement from Jamie Rappaport Clark, president and CEO for Defenders of Wildlife:
"The Obama administration made the wise decision to protect vast tracts of the country's oceans from oil and gas exploration. However, the inclusion of the Arctic Ocean in the country's five-year drilling plan is indefensible. From the extreme and unpredictable conditions of the region to the lack of a realistic spill response, the risks of a drilling disaster in the Arctic remain too high to authorize exploratory drilling. While the announcement proposes to address these threats by deferring drilling for a handful of years, the only way to protect this fragile marine environment from the threats posed by dangerous oil and gas exploration is to take it off the table altogether.
"Instead of enabling our country's addiction to oil for five more years, the administration should strengthen its efforts to wean America off dirty fossil fuels, accelerating the transition to a clean energy future."
See how offshore drilling threatens the Arctic's fragile marine environment.
Shell may begin drilling in the Arctic's Beaufort Sea as early as next summer. Read about the oil giant's inadequate oil spill response plan and the threat it poses to bowhead whales and polar bears.
Contact(s):Caitlin Leutwiler, (202) 772-3226; firstname.lastname@example.com


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1. low learning curve. syntax similar to C, but it's simplified, high readability, standardized code-formatting, almost no syntax changes from older version to newer version, has compact language specification for whole language (only 79 A4 pages) compared to:
- C99 (550 pages)
- C++14 ($133; 814 pages for C++03, 1514 pages for latest working draft)
- Java7 (604 pages)
- Javascript (566 pages)
- D (548 pages)
- F# (300 pages)
- Scala (191 pages)
- Swift (552 pages)
- some others that doesn't have any standard
- data structure and algorithm benchmark
- memory access microbenchmark
- programming language implementation benchmark
- web framework benchmark
4. concurrency at language level, it's no doubt that concurrency is the trend (processor manufacturer now tend to adding more cores)
5. garbage collected, safe-pointer, contrast to manual memory management that can lead to buggy code (eg. memory leaks, buffer overflow attacks)
6. built-in utf8 string and maps (associative array), as other newer programming language also done (the Go programming language creator also the one that wrote utf8)
7. big company support (Google), other companies that have been using Go: Dropbox, Twitter, SoundCloud, etc, this leads to future job vacancy.
- Go users
- companies using Go for production
- major websites programming language
- programming language used in popular websites
- job vacancy growth (note that C, C++, Java are declining)
8. small memory footprint (unlike Java, that everything has 8-12 bytes overhead)
9. built-in package management, it's easy to distribute libraries, leads to many contribution.
10. simple cross compilation
11. autocomplete daemon, this leads to many editor/IDE support
12. built-in testing support (for TDD/BDD)
There's many other things that I personally like from Go:
- variable initial value always zeroed
- limited set of operator (no frustration when other people use too many operator with confusing precedence)
- no generics XD yes, I found C++'s template error message really painful, but templates are quite useful when writing generic data structures
- letter case visibility
- no function overloading
- statically linked
- no circular dependency
- no warnings, just errors


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Your child will be bringing home homework on a monthly basis. Our homework is organized by a monthly calendar and should be done Monday through Fridays. Naturally, most kindergarten children do not have the reading and writing skills necessary to complete the homework assignments independently. Some activities allow for more independence from your child, while others require more assistance from an adult to help with reading and writing. I hope that you enjoy these activities and the special time you will spend with your child.
I also encourage you to read with your child every day. Make time to read a story before or after school, and as the year progresses, have your child start to read the words he or she knows to you! After you read a book, ask your child questions about what happened in the story. This will help support their understanding or comprehension of the book.
66 Malcolm Ave. SE Minneapolis, MN 55414
Telephone: 612.668.1122 | Fax: 612.668.1110


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January 29, 2009
The volunteer coordinator at the inner-city rescue mission seemed stunned when I asked if my husband, two children, and I could serve at the "neighborhood picnic" on the Fourth of July after the Los Angeles riots. What could she do with an entire family? Finally, she decided we could join the college kids serving food.
As anyone might guess, our 11-and 12-year-old children worked harder that day than they've ever worked in our kitchen at home. They cleaned up spills and cooperated with each other (gasp!). I didn't growl when they accidentally splashed red punch on my white shirt. The four of us worked side by side, listening to guests' stories.
Since we usually mix fun with service, we had planned to take them out for a treat, but something better happened. The kitchen workers sat Jeff and Janae on stools and gave them tubs of ice cream to enjoy. It was a memorable day in the life of our family.
Sometimes we parents wonder how we can help our children grow into compassionate people in a self-absorbed culture. One of the best ways to help kids act as the hands and feet of Christ is by encouraging them to join us in our volunteer efforts. Consider how, by our examples, we already show our children how to shop, relax, and eat fast food. Doesn't it make sense that we would show them how to serve by serving alongside them?
But What Can Kids Do?
Here are some family-size opportunities to start with:
- Help with kids. Help a church in your town that has a latchkey program. You and your kids can do simple things such as serve refreshments.
- Serve a holiday dinner at a street mission. When our kids were preschoolers, our family served a Thanksgiving meal. The other volunteers not only didn't mind, but they gave our kids small tasks to do.
- Bring a meal to a house-bound elderly person. You can do this through a program such as Meals-on-Wheels or by adopting a senior citizen in your church or neighborhood as a "grandparent."
- Do construction or maintenance outdoor projects. Our family has joined a church-school group that was cleaning an elderly person's yard. Another time, we joined a Habitat for Humanity chapter repairing a home. (Some chapters let you bring children under sixteen.)
- Visit a nursing home. Mary Price, a nurse and mother, prepared her children to do this by saying, "The nursing home will smell funny -- like medicine and cleaning products. It will smell of urine, too, because many of the people can't control bodily functions. When they need help with the bathroom, the workers can't always get there fast enough."
Mary urged her children to pick out someone and try to talk to that person: "First, get down on their eye level so they don't have to bend back in the wheelchair. That's being respectful to them. Then introduce yourself. Even though they may not understand what's going on, they still need people to love them." Those words describe what family volunteering is about.
How to Make Family Volunteering Work
- Find activities that are within the capabilities of all family members, especially if you're including preschoolers or grandparents. Or you may want to join another family in a project to make it more fun. How a family chooses to serve together will be as different as families are themselves.
- Pray for the people you're going to serve with your children ahead of time. You could do that several times at a meal or bedtime before and after you serve. Let your kids see that your relationship with God motivates you to love others.
- When you visit a nursing home, homeless shelter, or soup kitchen, develop friendships. We don't serve to simply "do good." When we served dinner at a street mission, we always carved out time for our kids to play with kids from the mission's neighborhood.
When Sharon Elliot saw that she had clothes and toys her two sons had outgrown, she asked her pastor if any families might benefit from them more than others would. The pastor pointed her to a family in need, but Sharon decided to form a relationship with them. "When we took [the clothes and toys] to this family, the mom and I sat and talked. The kids played together." Why didn't Sharon just drop the stuff on the porch and leave? "If I were in need, I'd like for the person to be friendly. I'd like to meet someone who could identify with me." What a great lesson to teach our kids!
Jan Johnson is the author of Growing Compassionate Kids, from which this article is adapted.
© 2001 by Jan Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Used with permission.
This article orignially ran in Pockets--a ministry of The Upper Room.


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A thoroughly researched book, also wonderfully readable. Anyone with muscular-skeletal pain should read it.
This is an excellent book. Anyone with recurrent or chronic back pain would benefit from the wealth of factual information contained in this well-organized and highly readable tome. Perhaps the most valuable insight: "Just because it hurts, doesn't mean you shouldn't move it."
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It was brought to my attention by a friend at Fanime Con that eigoMANGA is using my work without my permission. eigoMANGA is an independent comic book publishing company, developing, producing and marketing original manga and other comics.
They contacted us a month ago about publishing Applegeeks, but due to our low number of issues and finals, we told them we we were not interested right now. Later, I found out that they went ahead and posted my artwork on their site, telling everyone that we'll be in their issue #4 magazine — I call that false advertising. We didn't telling them they can publish AppleGeeks nor did we give them permission to use our work on their site. Ananth sent an email and told them to take all the images related to AppleGeeks down. They replied back saying it was a misunderstanding and took the images down.
Now, a friend of mine contacts me from Fanime and tells me they have a table with my artwork. Not just one piece — about 4 or 5. The insane image I did during finals, the bunisher image, issue #1. Apparently they don't understand the concept about asking permission first.
If they don't stop what they are doing, I'll be taking legal action.


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Monday, August 30, 2010
Christmas in August
Click on the image if you want to see a little more sparkle!
EDIT: Now my blogging friend Laurel (go visit - she is amazing and has been a tremendous source of inspiration for me!) let me know that this card fits some challenges, so I am going to enter it into Keep it Simple!, Paper Sundaes, and Sparkle's Christmas Card Challenge. I am so glad she tells me about these places because I am always looking for new challenge sites!! Yippee!!
18 comments:
- Laurel said...
So pretty! This fits the Sparkle Christmas card challenge, Paper Sundaes and the Keep it Simple challenge too!
- August 30, 2010 at 12:05 AM
- Larisa said...
It looks very beautiful!!! I love the trees a lot. Sorry, I have not any stamps at me...
- August 30, 2010 at 1:53 AM
- Pascale said...
Wow these are gorgeous Penny Black stamps. I love it when you find something and can think what to do straight away. I love the white trees fantastic against those scummy papers. Thanks for sharing with us at Keep It Simple this week. Hope to see you next week too. Hugs Pascale
- August 30, 2010 at 7:49 AM
- Kelly Massman said...
Very beautiful!
- August 30, 2010 at 8:41 AM
- Clare H said...
Do beautiful!!
Thanks for joining us at Keep It Simple on our first challenge
Clare @ KIS
- August 30, 2010 at 11:45 AM
- Sam said...
Wow, that embossing powder is fab! Going to have to investigate where to get some! Great card, thanks for joining us at KIS for our first challenge :)
- August 30, 2010 at 11:58 AM
Beautiful card...
- August 30, 2010 at 12:13 PM
- Karen Pedersen said...
- August 30, 2010 at 12:43 PM
- Cath Wilson said...
Such a pretty card and all the better for being so simple and clean looking. Love it.
- August 30, 2010 at 3:12 PM
- fi's cards and crafts said...
beautiful card..I love trees on Christmas cards Thanks for joining us at Paper Sundaes this week.
- August 30, 2010 at 3:42 PM
- Pat said...
Brenda this is gorgeous!!!! Love that embossing powder!
- August 30, 2010 at 5:44 PM
- Debbie said...
Beautiful card Brenda!
- August 30, 2010 at 6:44 PM
- abusybee - DoubleClick Connections said...
This is so pretty!
- August 30, 2010 at 11:59 PM
- France said...
This is so Classy !
Thanks for joining our challenge at Paper Sundaes !
- August 31, 2010 at 7:17 AM
- StephC said...
Very pretty! Love the sparkly tree. So glad you joined us for this weeks Christmas Card challenge!
- August 31, 2010 at 1:54 PM
- Anne said...
Oh Sigh!!!! This is just wonderful Brenda! Very stylish and really effective! I love those stamps! Thank you so much for joining us on our first KIS challenge!! :o) x
- September 1, 2010 at 1:59 AM
Such a lovely card!
- September 2, 2010 at 7:56 PM
- Nana said...
Beautiful card! Those threes are awesome.
Thank you for playing with the "Paper Sundaes" girls this week!
hugs Nana
- September 3, 2010 at 4:22 PM


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Sunday dinner in our family is a time for sharing food and ideas. One night, we discussed the upcoming presidential election. We ended by saying to each of our three sons, "You can be president." Spontaneously, the oldest, Fred Jr., stood up, burst forth with a full chorus of "Hail to the Chief," and declared himself president by self-proclamation. We took the cue and responded by becoming the press corps. We fired questions at him about things we thought would concern a teenage president. Fred Jr. held his own, but he had to do a lot of hedging, because he was uninformed and unprepared about many of the issues we raised. He knew he could do better. His brothers, Robert and John, couldn't join in the questioning, because they weren't prepared, either.
The following Sunday, at their request, we again played, "You can be president." This time, Fred Jr. was ready. Much to our surprise, he responded quickly and with hard data. We couldn't believe it, but we kept our mouths shut and kept playing.
Next, the twins wanted their turns at being president. Each was just as enthusiastic about expressing his ideas and solutions to the questions we posed.
When the cycle went around several times, the boys were ready to take the game to its next phase. John suggested that we become presidents from the past and future. Robert chose John F. Kennedy and Harry S. Truman. John, who was a Star Trek fan, was elected President of the Earth in the year 3060 A.C. (After Consolidation) when we were part of a Galactic Federation of Planets.
To prepare themselves, they read history, biography, sci-fi, historical fiction, newspapers, and magazines, and used their imaginations. Our Sunday evening news conferences with the presidents were always intense, informative, and a whole lot of fun.
Without realizing it, our sons were learning how to express themselves clearly and concisely, solve problems, and think critically. They also embraced reading as a lifetime endeavor and not a chore. If your children can read but won't — don't panic. Find out what interests them and start there. Hey, tell them they can be president. Something magical might happen.
From the March/April 1997 issue of The Horn Book Magazine.
To commemorate Black History Month, we are highlighting a series of articles, speeches, and reviews from The Horn Book archive that are by and/or about African American authors, illustrators, and luminaries in the field — one a day through the month of February, with a roundup on Fridays. Click the tag HBBlackHistoryMonth17 and look for #HBBlackHistoryMonth17 on Facebook.com/TheHornBook and @HornBook. You can find more resources about social justice and activism at our Talking About Race and Making a Difference resource pages.


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With Sweet Spot, a card, a coin, a borrowed ring or a credit card is made to vanish only to appear seconds later IN THE MIDDLE of the contents of a sealed baggie.
This can be filled with sand, candies, stamps, money, oregano, or whatever you want. The presentation angles are up to you. We give you a few to start with like the "Magic Sands of the Sahara,"
"Mr Blonds Revenge," "The Stamp Collector," "My Favorite Coin Collection" and more. The gimmicked bag is made in seconds and can be created in any size you like. The possibilities really are endless.
So, explore this fun alternative route for the classic Card To Wallet effect TODAY.
1st edition 2011; 20 pages photo illustratedword count: 1725 which is equivalent to 6 standard pages of text
If you find anything wrong with this product listing, perhaps the description is wrong, the author is incorrect, or it is listed in the wrong category, then please contact us. We will promptly address your feedback.


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Russian exporters shipped 1.8 MMT of wheat to Bangladesh
Russia exported 2925 KMT of wheat in March 2017 – a record volume for this month. It is up 61% from the previous high of 1812 KMT hit in March 2016, UkrAgroConsult notes.
Expectedly, the top March importer of Russian wheat was Egypt. Russia supplied 1055 KMT (36%) of wheat to that market in March.
Shipments to Yemen and Sudan grew quite considerably. This season's exports to Yemen are already up 28% from those for the whole last season (1030 KMT against 800 KMT), while deliveries to Sudan are up 19% (780 KMT against 655 KMT).
The market of Bangladesh became a true breakthrough for Russian wheat in the current season. Just over the past two seasons, Russia has managed to gain the position of the top wheat supplier to this country.
Russian exporters have supplied 1.8 MMT of wheat to this market since the beginning of 2016/17 – this is already 50% more than for the whole last season.


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About Stott Creations
Stott Creations is a software integration firm with recognized expertise in delivering Electronic Data Interchange (EDI) and Enterprise Application Integration (EAI) solutions utilizing Microsoft BizTalk Server. As a certified Microsoft Partner, and Microsoft's featured partner with respect to Enterprise Service Bus (ESB), we provide both professional services and software products.
The founder Eric Stott is one of the pioneers of BizTalk. In 1999, medical Eric began his career using an integration tool bought by IBM. When Microsoft rewrote BizTalk in 2003, he realized the support needs potential around this product and founded Stott Creations to offer a highly experienced development team to address complex BizTalk and EDI integration projects. Today, we are committed to helping US healthcare initiatives due to our unparalleled technical experience within this sector, having completed over 18 engagements. We also maintain competencies and experience in the Financial, Retail and Manufacturing verticals.


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My name is Adele and I have a strange desire for Pilgrim Jewellery. It all started about 5 years ago when my then boyfriend bought me a gorgeous Pilgrim necklace as a birthday present and since then, I haven't been able to get enough of it!
I now own over 30 pieces of Pilgrim jewellery and find myself spending more and more time on-line shopping for more!


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My one and only niece (at least right now!) celebrated her first birthday. I have boys so this is my first opportunity to make girly things as gifts!
Using the plan from Ana-White.com I made the doll crib. It was the first time I used the new pocket hole jig I got for Christmas – yeah! I used recycled materials – namely the shelving that came out of our bathroom closet before the remodel and some inexpensive furring strips for the crib sides.
I did not make the drawer for underneath – I ran out of time! (I was busy sanding, painting and sewing a couple days before the birthday party.) So, I sewed a skirt to cover underneath the bed instead of the drawer. I think my sister has a basket that will fit underneath and she can use that to store some doll clothes.
The skirt, sheet and ruffle are all attached as one. I'm hoping my niece won't be able to pull it all out quite as quickly that way. I also made it as a pocket cover for the 1″ foam so that it can be taken off and washed when it needs it. I made the pillow to look like a regular "bed" pillow but it is one piece and the case cannot be removed.
A lot of time was spent in making the crib but cost was very minimal because everything I used were things I had in the house – except the .99 cent furring strips. It was a lot of fun making and hopefully she will have many years of playing with it! It is very sturdy and it won't hurt a bit if she decides to try it out for herself!
The theme for her party was a beach party – which is a nice break from the snow and cold we have here right now! My sister found a picture of a penguin sticker that she wanted used on the cake so I did a frozen buttercream transfer of the penguin. I made a small half beach ball cake for her smash cake.
I'm linking to the following parties…


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How Tough Are You?
Big Red Car here in the quiet hour before dawn when the world gets ready to welcome the sun and get on with its business.
Today, we talk about toughness.
How tough are you?
The answer is — much tougher than you think you are.
OK, now you can get a cup of coffee and get on with your day. JK Continue reading


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Spotlight on alumni
In the final spotlight on the 2011 Alumni Tribute Award winners, we feature Rhonda Zygocki. Ms. Zygocki is the 2011 recipient of the Alumna of the Year Award. Currently the executive vice-president of policy and planning with Chevron Corporation, Ms. Zygocki holds one of the most senior executive positions with their global operations. Talking with our Gazette contributor David Penney, she reflects on her career and the role that Memorial has played in her success.
DP: Can you tell me about your experience at Memorial? What was it like to be a student at that time?
RZ: It was in the mid-seventies that Memorial actually began graduating engineering students from the school, before that you would have to go away. The building was brand new, and we were just starting the co-op program, which was a huge attraction. And we became a great group of friends. Our graduating class had only about 60 of us, so you were getting a great education in a new program with a very small class.
DP: You started with Chevron as a young graduate in central Alberta. Back then, do you think you could have foreseen where you are now?
RZ: When I graduated it was a time in the industry when many companies from Calgary were recruiting people, but I had little knowledge of the industry or the company. The business has taken me to multiple countries, where I've met incredible people and experienced cultures from around the world. There was no way to predict my future and that's a good thing. The last 30 years have been a real adventure for me.
DP: You've led so many business functions and projects that could be considered outside of what most people perceive as engineering. Can you talk about that?
RZ: The first 15 years of my career with Chevron were tied more toward engineering driven jobs. After that I basically raised my hand because I realized the worldwide enterprise offered so many interesting opportunities. After 14 years in Alberta I was then transferred five times in 10 years. My first job outside of an engineering related function was when I was asked to be the CFO of Chevron Canada. I think that assignment solidified my reputation as someone who could step outside of engineering and do different things, even in higher responsibility roles.
DP: In terms of your current role with the company, corporate responsibility is a primary focus. Can you describe for me what you do and the larger impact of that role?
RZ: My current role as executive vice-president of policy and planning oversees the global functions of health, environment and safety, public and government affairs, which brings in all aspects of corporate responsibility, among other things, and strategic planning. More and more business, particularly the energy business, is at the intersection of public policy issues, community issues and of course safety and environmental issues. Bringing these together under one executive vice-president allows my leadership team to work together to make sure there's always an alignment where we're looking at long-range business strategy through the lens of public policy, community and social issues, health and safety regulations and legislation.
DP: I know that the recruitment and development of students is important to your business but also important to you on a personal level. Can you tell me about that?
RZ: Well, for the last couple of years I've had a special relationship with a student from Berkeley here in California, and mentored her through her college years. What that relationship did was bring me back to my own university days, and really gave me pause to reflect on how important support is for students. Unfortunately, it's difficult to have a personal relationship with Memorial being so far away, but it's one that's important to me, so I decided to start a scholarship, specifically for women, in Memorial's engineering faculty.
DP: How does it feel to be receiving the Alumna of the Year Award?
RZ: Naturally I'm honoured to receive this award. I've always been very proud, that I can say anywhere around the world, that I come from Memorial, and from Newfoundland and Labrador. There are extraordinary people who have received this award in the past, and I'm thrilled to be a part of that. I was asked just recently what I thought was my greatest accomplishment. I quickly said that it was my engineering degree, because that was the single thing that has opened the door to what has been an extraordinary experience.


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..we don't believe that film school should be the only way to build a network of film collaborators..
We often come across the sentiment that it's easier than ever to go out there and start making films, which is true, but the advances in affordable film tech don't change a crucial requirement of film: people. Film is a collaborative medium and without a community of unique talents filmmaking efforts can be limited in quality and scope. In an era of hefty tuition fees we don't believe that film school should be the only way to build a network of film collaborators.
ActionOnTheSide sets out to create a community of people who are passionate about cinema and to help them create film together right now. Taking part in AOTS is free and we intend to keep it that way if possible. To do so we're looking for partners and support in a number of areas :
Venue: Use of a space or two, particularly for weekend number 1: Pre-production and weekend number 4: Screening.
Expertise/Mentoring: Film professionals who would like to share some of their experience and knowledge would be invaluable
Equipment Hire/Loan: Seeking a hire company or organisation who can help us capture the action, in exchange for promo opportunities with AOTS
AOTS volunteers: We can always do with a hand organising, promoting and maintaining AOTS itself, and it's a great way to meet people


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CLEVELAND (AP) Before the Browns' home finale Uchenna Nwosu Super Bowl LI Jersey , a couple exchanged wedding vows in the stadium's Dawg Pound bleachers.
The intimate ceremony went off without a hitch.
The reception was another sloppy mess.
Article continues below ...
Doomed by turnovers, questionable play calling and more disturbing throws by rookie quarterback DeShone Kizer, the Browns lost their 14th straight game this season. They fell to 1-29 in two years under coach Hue Jackson with a 27-10 loss on Sunday to the Baltimore Ravens, who moved closer to a playoff berth.
The Browns stepped toward unwanted history.
"It is what it is – and it sucks," said guard Kevin Zeitler. "We do have talent. We play hard. We practice hard, and we have good coaches. It's just execution."
On another gray, gloomy day along Lake Erie Rasheem Green Super Bowl LI Jersey , the Browns, now two losses from an imperfect 0-16 season, showed why they've become the NFL's longest-running joke. They failed to gain an offensive yard in the first quarter, committed four turnovers – Kizer threw two interceptions and lost a fumble – and lost their 16th straight game inside the AFC North.
As if the losing wasn't enough, there's renewed speculation about Jackson's future amid reports that he could leave for a job in Cincinnati where Marvin Lewis is reportedly on his way out with the Bengals after 15 seasons.
Unless they can win one of their last two road games – at Chicago next week or in Pittsburgh to end the season – the Browns will join the 2008 Detroit Lions as the only teams not to win in a 16-game season.
The losing has taken its toll on Jackson.
"I am not going to lie to you. I am not coping with this very well," he said. "I haven't for two years. I haven't been in this situation. I am just being honest with you. It is not something I want to deal with. It is not something that I think is fair to anybody, not just myself but the coaching staff Adrian Clayborn Super Bowl LI Jersey , the players, our fans, everybody. We have to fix this."
Owner Jimmy Haslam has said Jackson will return in 2018. But that hasn't stopped conjecture about Jackson's status, which became more tenuous earlier this week when new general manager John Dorsey dodged a question about whether he would guarantee his coach would return.
Jackson has done everything in his power to stay positive amid the losing, but it's getting more and more difficult.
"I told you guys three or four weeks ago that this doesn't define me," he said. "I get all this. `Hue, this is your record. This is how it works.' I got that Phillip Gaines Super Bowl LI Jersey , but this will not define me as a football coach.
"I know what is here. I know how we got here. I see it. We all do. What we have to do is fix it. Talking about it is not going to do anything. The record is what it is. We are in the situation we are in, and we have work to do."
Jackson has long been viewed as the next in line for Cincinnati's job when Lewis leaves. Jackson spent seven seasons with the Bengals, serving as their offensive coordinator before he was hired in Cleveland.
There's a natural connection, but Jackson said his sole focus is on the Browns.
"We all know that Marvin is a close friend, but trust me, I'm not running from this," he said. "I have never gone any place and left it worse than when I found it. I'm not going to run from this. I'm going to be here and I need to get this fixed as fast as I can because I think it is important."
One of Jackson's goals this season was to develop Kizer Derrick Nnadi Super Bowl LI Jersey , but the 21-year-old isn't showing the progress anyone hoped for.
He threw his second interception – and league-leading 19th this season – into a crowd. Kizer was strip-sacked for a TD when Jackson called a pass play with the Browns backed up at their end zone and no one in the backfield to block for his QB.
"We have to get our quarterback who is playing for us to quit turning the ball over," Jackson said. "It is just that simple."
If only everything else was for the Browns.
For more NFL coverage: http://www.pro32.ap.org and http://www.twitter.com/AP-NFL
. Authentic Womens Chad Thomas Jersey , Authentic Womens Chase Edmonds Jersey , Authentic Womens Will Hernandez Jersey , Authentic Womens Ryan Jensen Jersey ,


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The Weakest Link - Tolkien Edition - Let's Play!
Dramatic music plays!
Announcer: Ten characters from Peter Jackson's trilogy of movies, based on J.R.R. Tolkien's epic story, will be competing for up to 1 million dollars! They will be voted off, one by one, until only the strongest link remains! Let's meet the contestants!
Dramatic music plays!
Gandalf (Sir Ian McKellen): Hail! I am Gandalf! Wizard of The West, sent to help the free peoples of Middle Earth!
Sam (Sean Astin): Hullo, I'm Sam, servant of master Frodo.
Frodo (Elijah Wood): Hullo, I'm the Ringbearer!
Arwen (Liv Tyler): I'm the elven princess of Rivendell.
Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen): I'm Aragorn. Rightful heir of Gondor!
Saruman (Christopher Lee): Middle Earth is mine!!!! No one can stop... oh, I'm Saruman.
Gollum (Pretend he's real): My preciousssssss, nasty Bagginssssss, takes precious away, he doessssssss.
Legolas (Orlando Bloom): Hey dudes, anyone up for some surfin??
Gimli (John Rhys-Davies): Give me a row of orc necks and I'll shall be content!
Peter Jackson (As himslef): Hi Mom!!!
Host: Okay, half-wits! Lets get started!!
Again with the dramatic music!
Host: I'm sure you know the rules, and if not, talk to someone who cares! Here we go!
Round 1
Host: Are you ready? Then let's play, WKSTLNK! There are two minutes and twenty seconds on the clock. Gandalf will go first. Gandalf, who wrote Earendil Was A Mariner?"
Gandalf: Bilbo!
Host:That is correct. Sam, what was the name of the bread made by the men of Dale?
Sam: Cram!
Host: Correct. Frodo...
Frodo: BANK!
Host: Frodo, what was the name of the last king of Arthedain?
Frodo: Yipes!
Host: That is incorrect. The answer was Arvedui. Arwen, who is in possession of the One Ring during Lord of the Rings?
Arwen: ??
Host: Arwen, who is in possession of the One Ring during the Lord of the Rings?!
Arwen: ??
Host: Time is up people! You will now cast your votes for the WKSTLNK! Who among you has an elevator one short of the top floor? Vote now!
Announcer: Statistically, Arwen is the weakest link, having answered no questions correctly, but how will the votes turn out?
Host: Ok Team, it's time to reveal who you think is the Weakest Link!!
Gandalf: Arwen
Sam: Gollum
Frodo: Arwen
Arwen: Arwen.... I mean Gimli!
Aragorn: Gollum
Saruman: Arwen
Gollum: Nasssty Bagginsess
Legolas: Arwen
Gimli: Arwen
PJ: Arwen
Dramatic Music!
Host: Sam... Why have you voted for Gollum?
Sam: Well...
Host: Silence!! Frodo... why have you voted for Arwen?
Frodo: She... scares me.
Host: Your telling me you will treck into Mordor, but this bimbo with pointy ears scares you?!
Arwen: Draws sword! Who you calling a bimbo?!
Host: Well, Arwen you are the weakest...
Arwen raises the sword!
Host: Gimli, you are the weakest link... Gbye!!
Round 2
Host: Let's begin Round Two. Start the clock. Aragorn, what is the name of the ruined Northern Kingdom?
Aragorn: Arnor!
Host: Correct! Saruman, who is the Lord of the Rings?
Saruman: I AM!!!!!
Host: Wrong! It was Sauron. Gollum, what is the name of the traveler's bread of the elves that was given to the Fellowship by Galadriel, in Lorien?
Gollum: Ahhhh, it's evil it isssssss.
Host: Wrong! It's lembas. Legolas, what is the name of the pass where the Fellowship was turned back due to a snow storm?
Legolas: Caradhras!
Host: Correct! Peter...
Host: PJ, did the Balrog of Moria have wings?
PJ: Sputters incoherently with rage.
Dramatic music!
Host: And the round is over. During that round you managed to bank a pathetic, lamentable, $1000. It's time to vote off the weakest link. Who of you could easily rent out their head for storage space?
Announcer: We are down to nine contestants. Gandalf got the most questions right in the last round. Arwen, however, got the least. We aren't going to vote anyone off this round. Arwen got a little out of control.
Host: There is 250,000.00 available in this round, again. It's time to play WKSTLNK! Gandalf, we will start with you. What is the Valinorean name of the healing herb Aragorn uses?
Gandalf: Asea aranion!
Host: That is correct. Sam, who defeats Shelob on the pass of Cirith Ungol?"
Sam: I do!
Host: That is incorrect. The answer was 'Samwise Gamgee'. Frodo, what is the translation of Henneth Annun?"
Frodo: Window of the Sunset!
Host: That is correct. Arwen, which is taller, an ent or a hobbit?
Arwen looks up from filing her nails.
Arwen: Huh?
Host: The answer please!
Arwen: What's the question?
Host: Which is taller, an ent or a hobbit?!
Arwen: How am I supposed to know that?
Host: Take a guess! You have a 50/50 chance, for crying out loud!
Arwen: A hobbit.
Host: That is incorrect. Aragorn, who was the High King of the elves during the Second Age?"
Aragorn: Gil-galad!
Host: That is correct. Gollum...
Gollum: Bankssssssss!
Host: Gollum, are you obsessed with the Ring?
Gollum: Sssssssss, we'll get ours back one day. O yessss, precioussss. Nassssty Hobbitss.
Host: Incorrect. The answer was 'yes'. Legolas, what color is your hair?
Legolas: Blonde!
Host: Incorrect. The answer was 'never determined'. PJ, are you the devil?
PJ: No!
Host: Incorrect...
Host: Time is up people. You have added a paltry $1000.00 to your total this round. It's time to vote off one of your collaborators. Who has the mental capacity of a midget? Who's brain has a stamp on it marked 'addressee unknown'? Vote for the WKSTLNK now!
They vote.
Announcer: It's time to see how our contestants have voted. Who will make their exit this round?
Host: Gandalf, how did you vote?"
Gandalf: Arwen
Host: Sam?
Sam: Arwen
Host: Frodo?
Frodo: Arwen
Host: Arwen?
Arwen: Gimli
Host: Gimli has already been voted off.
Arwen: Gimli
The host shakes her head and continues.
Host: Saruman?
Saruman: Arwen
Host: Gollum? ... Ahem, Gollum?
Gollum has found a little spider inside his podium and has crawled down into it. He pokes his head up.
Gollum: Yessss?
Host: Who do you wish to vote off the show?
Gollum: The silly Bagginsesss.
Frodo: I command you, on the Precious, to change your vote!!
Gollum:Accckk! My headsss. It hurts us! Ok, the mean, nasssty hobbit then.
Sam walks over and hits Gollum on the head with a frying pan.
Gollum: Acccckksssssth!
The host continues.
Host: Legolas?
Legolas: Arwen
Host: PJ?
PJ: Liv
The host looks over at Saruman.
Host: Saruman, you voted for Arwen. Why?
Saruman: I would have had more screen time had PJ not given her so many flippin' scenes. She deserves to go!
Host: I see... Frodo, you?
Saruman: Wait!
Host: Yes?
Saruman: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Host: What was that for?
Saruman: Just staying in character. You can proceed.
The host looks oddly at Saruman, blinks twice and continues.
Host: Frodo, you also voted to eliminate Arwen. What was your reasoning?
Frodo: The one way ticket to Valinor she gave me had expired. I looked foolish at the Grey Havens.
The host looks over at Arwen.
Host: You have the most votes against you, my dear...
Arwen: I do not!
Host: Well, yes you do. Five out of your remaining eight competitors voted you out.
Arwen: They didn't mean it.
Competitors: YES WE DID!
Arwen: Oh posh! They don't know what they're talking about. I'm not going anywhere!
The host scratches her head in bewilderment...
The host turns and looked at Legolas.
Host: You have been voted off.
Legolas: I was not! Arwen was!
Host: It doesn't matter. It's generally accepted that you were the weakest member of the Fellowship. You were its WKSTLNK!
Legolas: I shall get angry if you keep this up.
Legolas snarled and began reaching for an arrow.
Host: Did I mention that your friend Gimli is still in the Green Room?
Legolas: Oh! Really?!
Legolas bounds off the set.
Host: There are now eight of you left. We will subtract 10 seconds from the clock, giving you 1:50 of time. There is once again, 250.000.00 available. Let's play, WKSTLNK!. Aragorn, we will start with you..
Aragorn: Why me?
Host: Does it matter?
Aragorn: No, I guess not..
Host: Aragorn, what was Morgoth's original name?
Aragorn: Melkor!
Host: Correct. Saruman, how are orcs conceived?
Saruman: Pods!
Host: Incorrect. The correct answer was, 'normal procreation'. Gollum, what do I have in my pockets?
Gollum buries his face in his hands.
Host: Gollum, what do I have in my pockets?
Gollum: Accckssth! We don'ts know thisss! A newly sssigned multi-year contractsss, perhaps?
Host: Correct. PJ, do you respect Ralph Bakshi?
PJ: Yes!
Host: Incorrect. The answer was, 'Are you kidding me?' Gandalf, what was the name of the first king of Númenor?
Gandalf: Elros Tar-Minyatar!
Host: Correct. Sam, who invented golf?
Sam: The Bullroarer!
Host: Correct. Frodo, how old are you in the beginning of the books?
Frodo: Fifty!
Host: Incorrect. PJ has adapted you to a 19 year old teen heart throb.
Frodo: Really? Cool...
Host: Arwen....
Arwen: BANK!
Host: There's no money available for the bank, Arwen.
Arwen: Oops..
Host: Arwen, who is your lover?
Arwen looks over at Saruman. Saruman makes a throat cutting gesture and discretely shakes his head.
Arwen: Umm.. Aragorn?
Host: Correct...
Host: Time is up people. You have added an embarrassing 1000.00 to your total. It's time to vote off the WKSTLNK! Which of you has yet to evolve from apes? Who wears the dunce cap in your classroom? Vote, now!
They vote.
Host: Ok, contestants. It's time to reveal our next WKSTLNK! Gandalf, how did you vote?
Gandalf: I voted to oust Saruman.
Host: Why not Arwen this time?
Gandalf: What good would that do?
Host: I see your point. Sam, who was your choice?
Sam: I picked Gollum.
Host:And why is that?
Sam: Look at him!!
Gollum is chewing on the spider that he'd finally caught in his podium. He realizes that everyone is looking at him and quickly swallows his dainty. He stares back innocently.
Arwen: Ewwww!
The host shudders and continues.
Host: Frodo, who is your choice for the WKSTLNK!?
Frodo: Sam.
Sam: Oh master! That is hard!"
Frodo: See what I mean? A Hobbit can only take so much of that drivel.
Host: I understand completely. Arwen?
Arwen was still staring at Gollum with a disgusted look on her face.
Host: Arwen?
Arwen looks back at the host.
Arwen: That....THING over there!
Han Solo: I wouldn't go around calling a wookie a 'thing'. They've been known to pull peoples arms off.
Host: Aragorn, who did you vote against?
Aragorn was looking back and forth between Arwen and Saruman, scratching his head and eyeing both suspiciously.
Host: Ahem. Aragorn?
Aragorn: Why that little...
Aragorn's face is contorting with growing fury. Arwen, glancing over at Aragorn, jumped slightly, seeing the realization on his face.
Arwen: Uh oh...
Aragorn whips out Anduril and flashes it in the air.
Aragorn: Elendil!!
Elendil: What?
Aragorn stops and blinks.
Aragorn: Elendil!!
Aragorn leaps over his podium, he rushes up to Arwen. Arwen stands there in horror. Aragorn stopps and points his sword at Arwen.
Aragorn: I vote to remove HER!
Arwen sighs in relief.
Host: Saruman? How did you vote?
Saruman had been watching the exchange between Aragorn and Arwen with a bemused smile. He turned a condescending glance on the host. The host returned the condescending glace.
Saruman: Wow. I must say your condescending glance is even better than mine!
Host: Thank you. How did you vote?
Saruman: Can I vote to oust Sauron from Middle Earth? It would save me a bit of trouble.
Host: Is Sauron a contestant?
Saruman: Well, no...
Host: Then STOP being a bloody FOOL and cast your vote!
Saruman: Arrogant hosts... Alright, I vote Arwen.
Arwen: But... my love!!!
Saruman: Oh, knock it off. I'm through with you!
Saruman turns towards the host.
Saruman: You should have seen that girl in Orthanc. What a nag! 'Pick up your staff!' 'Clean the Orc poop!' 'Practice your Evilness!' I mean, sheesh! It never ceased!
The host nodded and turned to PJ.
Host: And how did you vote?
PJ however was busy scribbling something down about 'Saruman and Arwen' with an excited look on his face...
Announcer: Statistically, Sam is the biggest weenie.
Host: Saruman, you have been voted off the show.
Saruman: I didn't get any votes cast against me!!
Host: No, but you had an affair with a betrothed woman.
Saruman: It was her idea!
Host: Well, can you think of a way to pry her offstage?
Saruman stood there for a moment, with his mouth frozen open. He shrugged and walked off.
Host: Gbye!
As Saruman walked by the Host, he suddenly flashed a dagger out from underneath his cloak and stabbed at the Host!
The dagger broke!
Saruman: You really are one tough broad, aren't you?"
He keeps walking.
Round 3
Host: Let's get ready to play WKSTLNK! There are seven contestants left. There is 250,000.00 available in this round. We will take 10 seconds off the clock, leaving 1:40 remaining. Gollum, we will start with you. Do you like Aragorn?
Gollum: Ackss! The wicked nassty cruel man. He hates uss.
Host: Incorrect. The answer was, 'Yes, I appreciate his tough love.' Aragorn, what was the name of Eol's son?
Aragorn: Maeglin!
Host: Correct. PJ, how much of the original budget allowance of 250 million dollars for the production of the movies did you actually embezzle?
PJ: None of it!
Host: Incorrect. The answer was, 'My lawyers asked me not to comment on that at this juncture.' Gandalf, who was the first president of the United States?
Gandalf: How should I know that?
Host: Incorrect. The answer was, 'How *can* I know that?' Although we also would have accepted 'How *could* I know that?'. Sam, are you homosexual?
Sam: No!!
Host: Correct. We also would have accepted 'I have homoerotic tendancies and strong feelings toward my master, but I have accepted the fact that those concepts will alienate the moviegoers'. Frodo, what was the name of the Lothlorien king who drowned in the ocean?
Frodo: Amroth!
Host: Correct. Arwen...
Arwen: Bunk!
Host: Huh? What's bunk?
Arwen: What?
Host: What were you talking about?
Arwen: When?
Host: Never mind. Arwen, can you wield a sword?
Arwen: What's a sword?
Host: Correct...
Host: Time is up people! You have added... well I'll be. For this group of neanderthals, you actually did quite well. $7000.00 has been added to the bank. It's time to vote off the WKSTLNK! Who came to the party a day late? Which person here has an air leak in their head. Vote now!
They Vote.
Host: Ok. Let's see who will be tossed off next!
Gimli: You're not tossing THIS dwarf!
Host: You've already been tossed!
Gimli: Oh, right.
Host: Gollum, we will start with you. How did you vote? Hey! Gollum! Stop that!
Gollum was in the middle of trying to bite Frodo's finger off.
Gollum: Ssilly hostessess. Interupting us whens we're busy."
Frodo: Will you get off of me, you dolt!
Gollum slinked back to his podium.
Gollum: I votesess for the nassty empty headssess one.
Arwen: Who?
Everyone: YOU!!
Host: And you, Aragorn, how did you vote?
Aragorn was busy carving the word ARWEN into the floor with his sword.
Aragorn: You won't have to ask me next time.
Host: I see. PJ, can we have your decision please?
PJ: Frodo.
Host: Interesting... and why is that?
PJ: Well, look at him! He's the old version. I want Frodo v. 2.0, the young and sexy version.
Frodo: Hey! I can still get the Hobbit babes when I need to!
PJ: Oh yeah? When?
Frodo: Well... there was this time at Bywater Inn.. some lass.. a beer.. I tried.. spilled my drink.. Aw the heck with it! You're right! I'm wenchless!
Host: And Gandalf, what is your decision?
Gandalf, however, was flipping his thumb off the end of his staff. Flick! Flick!
Gandalf: Dangit. Out of fuel again!
Host: Ahem! Gandalf?
Gandalf: What? Oh! I think I'll cast my vote against Sam.
Sam: I'll make a dent in your head that even a wizard will find hard to deal with!
Host: That's Gimli's line!
Gimli: You're not tossing THIS dwarf!
Host: SHADDUP! And Sam, how will you cast your vote?
Sam was busy stuffing falsies into his shirt and applying mascara all at the same time, looking sidelong at his Master.
Host: That's an automatic disqualification, Sam. Attempted Gender Transformation - Section III paragraph C of the Rules. Gbye!
Round 4
Host: Now onwards! We have 6 contestants left and Gimli, please get off the stage. You ARE OUT!
Gimli walks off the stage where Legolas is waiting for him.
Host: Now we move on, and we are taking another 10 seconds off the clock leaving us with 1:30 seconds left. There is 300,000 to be won!
We start this time with Frodo; Why did you steal the ring from Gollum?
Frodo: I didn't... it was Bilbo!
Gollum glares at Frodo.
Gollum: "Nasssssssty Baaaaaaagggginnnssss.
Host: Incorrect! Bilbo warned you against blaming him. The correct answer was "Yes". Gandalf, why don't you dye your white hair?
Gandalf: Because white is the colour of all wizards.
Host: Incorrect, the answer is there are no chemists in the third age. Aragorn, what is the name of the spider?
Aragorn: Shelob!
Host: Correct, Gollum who did you vote off last time?
Gollum stands in front of the podium watching the board used for writing the name of the votee.
Gollum: Ahhhh... Mmmmmyyyy precsssioussss.
Host: Gollum? Answer the question!
Gollum: Bannnnnnnnkkkssss
Host: Yes, but who who did you vote for last round?
Gollum: Yesssssssssssssss
Host: Incorrect, you were eating Frodo's finger and ignoring me totally. Arwen, how do you spell your name?
Arwen: How should I know. You're the host!
Host: Incorrect. The answer is 'I dont'. PJ what is heavier, the moon or a brick?
PJ is glaring at the ugly Frodo.
Host: PJ stop glaring at the contestants and answer the question!
PJ: Well a brick, because when I drop a brick I break my toe, whereas when I drop the moon it doesn't land on my toe."
Host: Incorrect! YOU CANT DROP THE MOON!
Host: Time is up people, and Arwen, calling you a person might be considered insulting. Well for a bunch of brainless idiots, you performed right up to standards. You answered 1 question correctly overall and banked a mesely amount. You all deserve not to be here! It's time to see who will be this round's WKSTLNK! PJ, how did you vote this round?
PJ: Gollum
Host: Interesting. And why is that?
PJ: So I can insert my computer generated Gollum in his place.
Host: I see... Gandalf..
PJ: Did you know that Treebeard will be completely CGI?!
Host: That's nice, dear. Now Gand...
PJ: In fact, I'm a computer generated character as well.
Host: I'm sure you are. Now please let me contin...
PJ: Soon, everyone will be CGI!
Host: WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!!??
PJ blinks and starts scratching his CGI butt.
The host stares at PJ for a moment before slowly turning to Gandalf.
Host: Gandalf, who did you decide to vote off?
Gandalf: Arwegorn
Host: Huh?
Gandalf: Arwegorn
Host: Who's that?
Gandalf: I'm trying to eliminate two people at once.
Host: You can't do that!
Gandalf: Sure I can. I'm a Maia and a Wizard. Watch this.
Gandalf holds his staff up in the air. Lightning flashes! The Earth groans!
Aragorn: Screams GRAAAACK!
Arwen: Cries BLORTCH!
Host: Yells YUCK!
Aragorn and Arwen have somehow been fused into one person! Arwegorn!!
Host: I can't argue with that logic1 Arwegorn, you have been voted off as the WKSTLNK! Gbye!
Arwegorn turns and walks off the set.
Arw: You're going to hear about this when we get home!
Egorn: Oh shut up!
Round 5
Host: Ok, folks, we're down to 4 contestants - Gandalf, Frodo, Gollum and PJ. We will subtract 10 seconds off the clock, leaving 1:30 remaining. As always, there is 250.000.00 available. Let's play, WKSTLNK! Frodo, what is the tallest mountain in Valinor?
Frodo: Taniquetil!
Host: Correct. Gollum, why were you at the Forbidden Pool?
Gollum: Fisshess!
Host: Incorrect. The answer was, 'Because I needed attention and was seeking affirmation of my self-worth'. PJ, are you a Purist?
PJ: A what?
Host: Correct. Gandalf, why do you wear that ridiculous hat?
Gandalf: Hey!
Host: Answer the question please.
Gandalf: Well, ummm... uhh.. It makes me look, uh, more wizard-ery.
Host: Incorrect. The answer was 'Because I have a complex about being too short for a wizard'. We also would have accepted 'Because platform shoes haven't been invented yet'. Frodo, where does the White Council meet?
Frodo: Rivendell!
Host: Incorrect. The answer is HERE. Gollum, what did you eat while lurking in Moria?
Gollum: Nassty orcs meat!
Host: Incorrect. The answer was 'Hey lookie here! Some of my toes appear to be missing!' PJ...
Host: Time is up people. You have added a pathetic NOTHING to your total! Vote now for who you think the WKSTLNK! is. Who's ship fell over the world's edge? Who can't chew gum and think at the same time? Vote!
They vote.
Host: Let's see how our four remaining contestants voted. Frodo, how did you vote?
Frodo: PJ.
PJ walks over to Frodo and hands him the revised script.
Frodo: Um, I mean Gandalf.
PJ walks back to his podium.
Host: Gollum, whom did you decide to vote off?
Gollum: The tricksy massster.
Frodo: I command you on the Prec...
Gollum holds up Frodo's ring finger.
Frodo: What the..? When did you do that?
**** (The finger chomping event took place recently, but the scene was found to be too violent and the show's advisory board wished it cut. The scene that is, not the finger. Well, although they didn't specifically wish for the finger to be cut, they found it hilariously funny all the same.) ****
Host: PJ, how did you vote?
PJ: I live in a free democratic society. My vote is private.
The host mutters something about 'bloody Kiwis'.
Host: PJ, who - in your opinion - is this round's WKSTLNK!?
PJ: Frodo.
Host: And why is that?
PJ: He's had the fewest fingers.
Host: Indeed. Gandalf... GANDALF! What are you doing?!
Gandalf is swinging his staff wildly around in the air at a house fly.
Gandalf: The Dark Lord is here! Can't you see him? Take THAT!... And THAT!... I'll get you Sauron! I am the servant of the Secret Fire and wielder of the Flame of Anor!
Host: You're an escapee of the Silly Farm and a Flaming Idiot, now CUT THAT OUT!
Gandalf cuts it out.
The host rubbs her forehead and continues.
Host: Gandalf, who did you vote off the show?
Host: The host.
Host: You can't vote off the host!
Gandalf: Sure I can. I'm a Maia and a wizard. Watch th...
Host: OK OK! Sheesh, cast your vote for the host then!
Announcer: Statistically, PJ's pjs have lots of p's and j's on them...
Host: Frodo, you have garnered the most votes this round.
Frodo: Since when has that mattered?
Host: That's the rules of the game.
Frodo: You haven't adhered to that rule once this entire time! This smacks of Hobbit discrimination!
Johnny Cochrane If the man ain't tall, he's nuthin' at all!!
Cochrane hands Frodo his business card.
Host: Nevertheless, Frodo, you have been eliminated. You are the WKSTLNK! Gbye!
Frodo turns and stomps off the set.
Round 6
Host: We are down to three contestants, PJ, Gandalf, and Gollum. 250,000.00 is available, and we'll take another 10 seconds off the clock, leaving 1:20 remaining. Let's play, WKSTLNK! Gandalf, who was Shelob's mum?
Gandalf: Ungoliant!
Host: Correct. Gollum, who cut the Ring off Sauron's hand?
Gollum: Isssildur!
Host: Correct. PJ...
Host: PJ, why was Tolkien's name completely left off the second trailer?
PJ: It was just an oversight...
Host: Incorrect. The answer was, 'Because I am arrogant and I think my version is better and I want people to think of me and not Tolkien when they ponder the story'...
PJ: I object to that!
Host: Incorrect. The answer was, 'I can't argue with you, o Omniscient Host!' Gandalf, where do Men go when they die?
Gandalf: Only Eru knows that!
Host: Incorrect. The answer was, 'usually 6 feet into the ground'. Gollum, is Glorfindel II the same elf as Glorf...
Host: Time is up folks. You have added an embarrassing, utterly inadequate 2000.00 to your total. It's time to see who will be eliminated next! Who accidentally flushed their brain down the loo? Which of you were fired from McDonalds for stupidity? Vote now for the WKSTLNK!
They vote.
Host: Ok people! Let's see how you've voted. We'll start with Gandalf. Who do you want eliminated, Gandalf?
Gandalf: I didn't vote!
Host: What do you mean, you didn't vote?!
Gandalf: I couldn't decide!
Host: Just pick one! You're a Maia and a wizard for cripes sake!
Gandalf: Hey, even the wise cannot see all ends!
Host: If you don't pick someone, you'll be automatically disqualified.
Gandalf: Well, I feel pity for Gollum over here. And PJ, well, he's just so darned cute and cuddly. Look at him!
PJ is standing there looking cute and cuddly.
The host by this time was fed up. She walks over to Gandalf's podium and scribbles "Gollum" on his stylus.
Gollum: Dratsssss...
Host: PJ, how did you vote? Hey PJ! Where'd you go?
PJ: How To Desecrate Tolkien's Works' for 300, Alex!
Alex Trebek: Get out of my studio!!!
PJ: Sorry...
The host, being once again fed up, walks over to PJ's podium and scribbles "Gollum" on his stylus.
Gollum: Dratsssss...
Round 7
Host: Alright, halfwits! It's down to you two!! In this round you get a chance to double the amount of money you bank!! So lets playyyy..... The WKSTLNK!!!!
Host: Gandalf, why does Cirdan have a beard?
Gandalf: Well, it all starts...
Host: Wrong! PJ, why did you cast Liv Tyler as Arwen?
PJ: She is a very good actress, and I think she...
Host: Wrong! Gandalf, who is your enemy?
Gandalf: Sauron!
Host: Correct! PJ, what's with the glasses?
PJ: There's nothing wrong with my glasses!
Host: Wrong! Gandalf, what is the name of the srongest Vala?
Gandalf: Tulkus!
Host: Correct! PJ...
PJ: Bank!
Host: Are you the devil?
PJ: Hasn't this questions already been asked?
Host: Silence Monkey!! Are you the devil?
PJ: Ummm..... yes?
Host: Correct! Well, the time is up!! And out of a possible $250,000, you banked a pathetic, miserable $5,000. That brings the total bank up to $32,000. Who is a few fries short of a happy meal? Is there a village who needs it's idiot back? Who's 4% alcohol short of a tequila? Which one of you has redefined the term "failure"? Who has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig? Which one of you couldn't make ice without a recipe? Who is allergic to intelligance?!!
Host shakes her head.
Host: Sorry about that. Now where were we? Oh yes... We'll find out when we return to..... The Weakest Link!
Round 8
Dramatic music plays!
Host: Welcome back to The Weakest Link! Ok, it's down to Gandalf and Peter Jackson! Let me explain the rules. You will each be asked a set of 5 questions, whomever has the most right at the end, will win the bank money, which stands at $32,000! Lets play... The Weakest Link!
Dramatic music!
Host: Gandalf, you were the last rounds strongest link, so we'll start with you!
Gandalf nods his head.
Host: Gandalf, The Tower of The Moon, is another name for wich city?
Gandalf: Minas Ithil!
Host: That is the correct answer. PJ, who created The Silmarils?
PJ: I don't need $32,000! I'm going to be rich!!! Yesssss, filthy rich!!!
Host: Well, then maybe you can afford to get some new glasses!
PJ: What do you have against my glasses!?
Host: Hiding laughter Nothing!
PJ: Your mean!
Host: Why should you care? Your the devil!
PJ: No I'm not!!!!
Host: The Silmarils?
PJ: Becoming annoyed It was Feanor.
Host: That is the correct answer! Gandalf, is PJ the devil?
PJ: Ok, thats it!
Host: Silence!
Gandalf: As an avid Tolkien reader, I would say yes! But as an actor who wants to keep his role, I'm going to have to say no.
Host: That is incorrect, the correct answer is yes. PJ, who is Frodo's father?
PJ: Drogo!
Host: That is the correct answer! Gandalf, who is The King of Mirkwood?
Gandalf: Thranduil!
Host: That is the correct answer! PJ, what color are Tom Bombadil's boots?
PJ: Tom who?
Host: Tom Bombadil!
PJ: Never heard of him.... ummm... Blue?
Host: That is incorrect! You are now tied with 2 questions right, and 1 questions wrong each. Gandalf, how many elven rings were there?
Gandalf: Three!
Host: That is the correct answer! PJ, who is the manager of The Prancing Pony?
PJ: Barliman!
Host: That is the correct answer! You are still tied! Gandalf, what come out of orc pods?
Gandalf: Orcs, of course!
Host: That is incorrect! Orc pods are not part of Tolkien's LoTR!
Gandalf mutters something about PJ being the devil.
Host: Peter, if you answer this question correctly, you win! Who wrote The Lord of The Rings?
PJ: Ummmm...... Oh, I know this one! Ummmm.... Is it... no, thats not it..... ummm.... Tolkien?
Host: That is the correct answer! You are tonight strongest link! Gandalf, you leave with nothing!
Gandalf: Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger!
Host: Huh?
Gandalf: I shall be back!
He disappears in a bright flash.
Host: Join us next time for.... The Weakest Link! Goodbye!