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Sundry New Year's Eve Thoughts
Eventually, I started to reflect on how this was my first Christmas in a lot of new contexts at once: a new church, a new house, a new daughter with whom to celebrate, one less cat running around. And really, the more I thought about it, the more this first-ness, this newness, seemed to be the cause of what I was feeling.
What was perhaps most notable about this realization was the lack of processing that I'd done previous to it. All of these things happened in quick succession--on top of each other, really--and while I made adjustments along the way in response to each, I didn't give myself time to acknowledge the emotional and spiritual aspects, let alone deal with them, until I had some downtime right at the end of the year.
Before it all really started, I envisioned a moment where I'd suddenly crash from all the transition, some morning where I'd see the family off to their various destinations for the day and then crawl back into bed. Thankfully, that didn't happen...or hasn't happened. I don't think it will at this point. If there is one thing I've learned over the past two years, it's to take proper time to care for myself, which I've at least had the presence of mind to do this year in the midst of everything.
With the exception of losing a beloved pet, these transitions have all been good ones. I anticipate more settling in as 2014 moves along, although I'm sure it'll bring its own changes and challenges, too.
My UCC colleague Rev. Emily Heath recently wrote a blog post listing five things she started doing this year that she vows to keep doing in 2014. It's an anti-resolution sort of post, recognizing that change is a process rather than a stark epiphany moment. I really liked that idea, so here are five things I started doing that I hope to keep doing:
1. Get reacquainted with my drums. I started playing the drums 24 years ago, which is weird to think about. Along the way I've dabbled in bass and guitar, but the drums have always been my first love and I've been neglecting them for quite some time.
2. Call old friends regularly. The difference that even just a few phone calls mid- to late in the year made for my spirit was noticeable. I want to keep up with that. It's a self-care thing for me as much as a relationship thing.
3. Take time off. Believe it or not, this can be a hard thing for pastors to remember to do. I know firsthand what happens when you don't; when you think the church will fall down or so-and-so's life will fall apart unless you're on 24/7. And while in a sense the nature of your vocation is such, I can't be on for the moments when I'm really needed unless I set boundaries otherwise.
4. Live more prayerfully. I've really been inspired this year, particularly since my spiritual direction practicum started, to be more attentive to the ways prayer is meant to influence my day to day living; the ways I am meant to live as a disciple even in the simple decisions that I face on a daily basis.
5. Keep writing. Given that this blog exists, this seems obvious. But it's very much a discipline, and one I haven't always wanted to keep. But writing in itself is important to me, and so I'm going to keep doing it, one way or another.
And for fun, here are my favorite blog posts from this past year:
1. How It Ends
2. Ghosts
3. Diversity and Identity
4. The Complexity of Help
5. How Your Church Can Attract More of Every Demographic Ever!
6. On Being Burned Out on Church-Related Pontification
7. Gas Bubble Smiles
8. Ministry and Ego Death, Part 1
9. All About Eve
Happy New Year. I hope 2014 is a positive, meaningful year for you and yours.
Year-End Pop Culture Roundup 2013
Five Books I Enjoyed in 2013
1. Pastrix - I've long been an admirer of Nadia Bolz-Weber, pastor of House for All Sinners and Saints in Denver, for her irreverence and her insightful commentary on church, culture, and theology. To say that I was greatly anticipating this book's release date so that I could get my copy was probably an understatement, and I read the whole thing in two days once it arrived. Nadia interweaves some of her personal story into her experiences of being a pastor of such a unique congregation, all with the humor and...ahem...vocabulary that anyone familiar with her would expect. This book is personal, insightful, at times convicting, at other times inspiring.
2. Understanding the Spiritual Exercises - It wasn't really my choice, but I had to live with this book by Michael Ivens, SJ all year. And a little of the previous year. And also this next year. And probably for quite a while after that. This is the main text used for my spiritual direction program, a presentation of and commentary on the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola. At first it was just a textbook to me, into the margins of which I scribbled many of my own notes. But as I have come to appreciate not only the structure and philosophy of the Exercises but also the real ways that they may cultivate depth in one's prayer life, I return to it out of my own interest and not just for homework. This book will be a companion of mine for quite a while.
3. World War Z - I greatly enjoyed Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide a few years ago, and I'm not sure what took me so long to read his follow-up, presented as a series of interviews with people who survived a global zombie outbreak. The movie adaptation (which I haven't seen but looks nothing like the book just from the trailers) inspired me to do so, which I'm somewhat ashamed to admit. Anyway, this is every bit as good as the Guide was, probably better, because here the rules of his universe get applied in more of a story format.
4. The Clockwork Century Series - I continued to enjoy this series of books by Cherie Priest, who writes about an alternative steampunk universe set during the Civil War, where a mysterious gas turns people into zombies. After reading Boneshaker late last year, I was hooked, so I've enjoyed Dreadnaught, Clementine, and Ganymede over the course of the year, and it looks like I have at least three more to go. So this could very well get a mention next year, too.
5. Hyperbole and a Half - A couple years ago, Allie Brosh of the hilarious blog of same name announced that she was putting out a book based on her writings and cartoons: about half stuff we've seen and half stuff we haven't. Unfortunately, the timeline for the release seemed to be delayed by life (she's explained her struggle with depression in several posts in a humorous yet powerful way). This year her book--which really is her blog in book form--finally released, and the material translates well. Some of her best stuff is included: her two posts on depression, being an adult (ALL THE THINGS), her stupid dog, and eating her grandfather's entire birthday cake, for instance. Much like her blog posts which may go weeks in between being posted, this was worth the wait.
Honorable mention: Sam Halpern, A Far Piece to Canaan
Five Movies I Enjoyed in 2013
1. Rise of the Guardians - We have certainly seen our fair share of family- or kid-friendly movies, including this one that depicts familiar childhood figures (Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, etc.) as superheroes charged with protecting children. Both story-wise and artistically, this was a well-done film that re-imagined these characters and the rules that they live by. This was a good story about belief and childhood wonder, and had something for adults and children alike.
2. Iron Man 3 - Set not too long after The Avengers, Tony Stark is not doing very well in processing the events of that earlier movie. He's dealing with PTSD, most notably manifested in sleeplessness and occasional bouts of extreme anxiety. In the midst of this internal struggle, yet another outward threat comes in the form of The Mandarin. These two things combined make for a long stretch of the movie that is more about Stark figuring himself out as much as figuring out how to defend his loved ones and others from this new menace. The third movie of a trilogy can be hit-or-miss, and this was a hit, perhaps even the best of the three.
3. Silver Linings Playbook - Bradley Cooper stars as Pat, a man recently released from an inpatient psychiatric facility and obviously still wrestling with his illness (bipolar). He eventually meets Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence, who won an Oscar for this), who is dealing with depression and grief herself, and the two help each other adjust to life in the midst of their struggles. The film does a great job of portraying the illness of each (it had psychiatric nurse practitioner Coffeewife's approval), as well as environmental factors such as enabling and/or eggshell-walking family members, the death of loved ones, and the role of coping mechanisms, both healthy and unhealthy.
4. Much Ado About Nothing - Amy Acker stars as Beatrice, Alexis Denisof as Benedick, and a whole host of other Joss Whedon favorites in assorted roles. This modern adaptation takes place at a large house on sprawling grounds, the characters in simple, yet affluent attire, and it's shot in black and white, which gives everything a certain noir feel. There's a lot of visual comedy that complements or helps express the humor of the dialogue: the smallest facial expression helps elevate what's being said, and the cast has proven very well over the years how talented and capable they are at this. This was a wonderful, simplified production of one of Shakespeare's better-known tales.
5. Catching Fire - Sometimes it's hard to judge a movie that is clearly the second in a series. It's not self-contained and often acts as a bridge of sorts between the first film that sets up the characters and conflict and the third/fourth that you know will provide resolution. As a work in itself, this was a great rendition of what happens in the second book of the Hunger Games trilogy. The actors--including worthy additions such as Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jeffrey Wright, Jenna Malone, and Sam Claflin--hit the right notes portraying the fear, helplessness, anxiety, and defiance involved in the growing revolution against the Capital. The visual effects are stunning as well, as one would expect. As the "bridge movie," this did very well to set up what is to come.
Honorable mention: Wreck-It Ralph
Five TV Shows I Enjoyed in 2013
1. The Walking Dead - It's crazy to think that I watched the entire series so far just this year. First, I binge-watched seasons 1, 2, and the first part of 3 leading up to the second part of season 3 in February, and then I hung on to every new twist and turn as Rick and the gang fought not only the undead but the living. I couldn't wait for season 4 to start this past October, which was every bit as good. I've been trying to figure out what in general I find so compelling about the zombie genre, and I think this show encompasses it so well: it asks what happens to our humanity when the world we know disappears; when survival becomes the concern over everything else. Various characters answer this in different ways and even according to different circumstances. I can't wait for the show to return next February, especially given the chaotic way the mid-season finale ended.
2. Arrested Development - My heart leaped with joy when I first heard that they really were, seriously you guys, going to be making new episodes of this incredibly clever show about a wealthy dysfunctional family trying to keep it all together. The format of this Netflix-exclusive series would be a little different: each episode would focus on one character each to help get everyone caught up on what has happened since the original show was cancelled. Some characters get multiple episodes for their stories, and each is ultimately interwoven with the others such that some jokes take watching multiple episodes to pay off completely. The writing is every bit as good as it was before, and we're left hanging at the end, the possibility of a movie still looming. It was great to enjoy this series again.
3. Orange is the New Black - I think I first heard about this series through Entertainment Weekly, which talked it up quite a bit. And then I started hearing about it from friends who were completely engrossed. And finally I started watching, and I understood. We meet Piper, an uppity New Yorker who gets sent to prison for something she'd done ten years earlier. The tagline for the show is "Every sentence is a story," which holds true as we learn the background of some of the other inmates: not just why they got arrested, but what their lives were/are like otherwise: relationships, background, and so on. Again, my love of nuance comes through as we're able to get 3D glimpses into the lives of these inmates and how they interact with (sometimes bounce off of) each other to try to make it through each day.
4. Parks and Recreation - When Coffeedaughter and I began spending my days off together, I figured this would be a good show to queue up on Neflix in the background. But the more and more I watched, the more I appreciated its offbeat humor. Amy Poehler plays Leslie with the right amount of earnestness in this mockumentary about a parks and recreation department in a small Indiana town, but it's really an ensemble comedy that includes Nick Offerman as a no-nonsense department manager, Rob Lowe as a high-energy city manager somewhat at war with himself, Chris Pratt as a dim-witted slacker trying to find his way, and Aubrey Plaza as a deadpan administrative assistant, among many others. The cast chemistry is incredible, the jokes wonderfully timed. As of this writing, I'm in the middle of Season 5 and can't wait to see more.
5. Boardwalk Empire - I wasn't sure about the fourth season at first, as plot points always tend to develop very slowly on this show. Things eventually picked up as Capone and Lansky started to step up more and more, and a new villain, Dr. Valentin Narcisse, started making trouble for Chalky. Narcisse was more sinister, manipulative, and calculating in contrast with last season's crash-and-bang Gyp Rosseti, which was a good change to keep things fresh. The last episode of the season was a gutbuster in several ways, as Narcisse ended up in a fate worse for him than death, Eli's son seemed to start a transition into New Jimmy, and Harrow found the sort of resolution that seemed to fit his struggles. Another fantastic season by the end.
Honorable mention: The Newsroom
Five Albums I Enjoyed in 2013
1. Five Iron Frenzy, Engine of a Million Plots - The musical highlight of my year came in two parts. First, I saw FIF play a show in a very intimate setting that included my meeting and taking pictures with several members of the band. Second, this album came out the next week. What with the group breaking up 10 years ago, neither of these things seemed possible for quite a long time, and yet here I am enjoying one of my all-time favorites yet again. The album itself is a little more mature, still with that fun side, yet both less hindered and more thoughtful than they've ever been.
2. Serena Ryder, Harmony - I heard Ryder perform her song "Stompa," the first single off this album, on an NPR show shortly after another artist mentioned below had. Unfortunately, the full album was not yet available in the United States (she's Canadian), so I had to specially order it through Amazon. Let me say: worth it! Ryder draws from rock and R&B influences for a sound that I think is best described as "Adele if she rocked out."
3. Dessa, Parts of Speech - I'm pretty much impressed with everything that Dessa does. She makes incredibly clever hip hop that had me hooked the first time I heard it, and her interviews show her to be an intelligent, well-spoken woman besides. So I greatly looked forward to the release of her latest album earlier this year, which lived up to the hype that I gave it in my head. "Call Off Your Ghost," "Warsaw," and "Fighting Fish" are favorites.
4. Abney Park, The Circus at the End of the World - The ragtime element of the band's sound is a little more pronounced on many of the songs on this one, giving it a good circus vibe. There are variations, of course. "Not Silent" is a little darker, and is more about current issues of intolerance than the usual steampunk stories. On the other hand, "Buy the Captain Rum" is a silly shanty that incorporates "Drunken Sailor." So as usual, the band shows its versatility and plays up its characters very well.
5. Ben Caplan, In the Time of the Great Remembering - On the way home from officiating a funeral one evening, I switched on NPR just in time to hear Caplan performing an in-studio version of "Stranger," a coming-of-age ballad that sounds like a pirate shanty and as if Caplan is incredibly angry at the piano he's pounding on. Astounded and mesmerized, I went on a frantic search to find out more about this artist and to hear more as soon as I got home. Caplan pulls from a wide variety of influences including blues, rock, folk, and orchestral to create an incredibly unique sound over which his soulful voice sings. I'm actually disappointed that he only has one album so far, but will eagerly anticipate more.
Honorable mention: Rob Leveridge, Dancing on the Mountain
Five Blogs I Enjoyed in 2013
Brant's Blog - I've enjoyed reading Brant Hansen's blog in whatever incarnation it's taken over the years. He writes with both a wit and a weight that I've found largely unparalleled in most blogs that I've perused. He and I don't see eye to eye on everything, but I don't have to agree 100% with someone to learn from them, to be challenged by them, to be entertained by them. Brant has written some stuff this year that has hit me in just the right way, whether it was a word I needed to help name something I was struggling through or one I needed to sit with for a while to think over (or rethink) something. I'll look forward to continuing to read Brant's blogging in whatever form it takes.
2. Beauty Tips for Ministers - This blog should have been on 2012's year-end list, too. This is a side project by PeaceBang (really, it's the one she's perhaps more known for) that was begun on a bit of a lark that has turned into a full-blown online ministry. The gist is given in the title: PB is concerned with pastors representing themselves, their vocation, and the faith communities they serve well, and that includes what they wear as they do their work. Her primary focus is female clergy, but she has plenty of advice for us menfolk as well. The very first time last year that I started reading, she began having an impact, and now I'm to the point where wearing jeans to the office (which I did a lot during my "emerging dudebro" phase) feels weird and kind of wrong.
3. Theoblogy - Regular readers of this blog know that I've offered up a lot of commentary lately in response to Tony Jones, usually when I have a disagreement that I think is worth fleshing out. So it may seem strange for me to include his blog on this year-end list. The thing of it is, though, that I spent a lot of time on his blog this year, and was able to articulate my own viewpoints on church and theology using his ideas as a jumping-off point. So I think his blog deserves a nod for that.
4. A Church for Starving Artists - Jan continues to offer thoughtful posts on what the church could be if we just consider new approaches to familiar things. By this point, I think there are just certain blogs you can always expect to make this list.
5. MGoBlog - Like I said.
Honorable mention: Stuff Christian Culture Likes
Christmas Eve
that God will come to save me.
And tomorrow you shall witness
God's glory in me.
--Isaiah 66
Fourth Monday of Advent: Song
As it turns out, she seems to be a big music fan as well. Whether the radio in the car, or Spotify just before bedtime, music has a calming effect for her.
Oftentimes, when I'm rocking her during the day it comes at a moment's notice and I don't have the hands available to cue something up on the computer or stereo. So I sing instead.
The song selection varies. I most often go to Five Iron Frenzy and Counting Crows (the latter worked really well with Coffeeson back in the day), but hymns seem to work really well, too. And, of course, this time of year has brought some inspiration to sing Christmas carols.
What I think is most appropriate when trying to rock an upset 3-month-old to sleep are, I think, those carols that are meant to be sung at a lower volume to begin with. What makes this even more convenient is that several carols actually seem like lullabies, namely "Silent Night" and "Away in a Manger." As a pastor, I refuse to have the congregation sing these songs during Advent (relax...I make up for it with others), but for the purposes of calming down an infant, they do just fine.
Now, let's be honest. These two carols in particular are a bit silly. They make bold, inaccurate claims about a baby that doesn't cry and that has an extra special divine glow about him. He's a human baby. That's a big part of the whole incarnation thing. The cynical hipster part of me scoffs at such lyrics. But when I sing these songs to a small child, who after a verse or two has calmed down and is even smiling up at me by this point, making those first exploratory language sorts of sounds, the innocence of the song connects with the fragile gentleness of the one I'm holding and it makes perfect sense.
I may return to that cynicism later on. But at least for a moment, those lyrics are true because I see the world's need for them.
An Advent Discipline
"I've been focusing each week of Advent on the theme of each candle," she said. "So that first week I paid attention to hope, the second week peace, and so on."
That first week, even when dealing with a mother's illness, she searched for hope. The next week, even when dealing with anxiety in relationships, she searched for peace. And so it has gone, her Advent discipline.
Even though the idea is perhaps not terribly original, even though it is the understood encouragement behind the lighting of the Advent wreath, this was somehow novel to me. Seek hope during the first week, then seek peace, then joy, then love. I imagine that most years love gets the short shrift. Rarely do we get a full week between lighting that fourth candle and Christmas Eve.
But to actively and prayerfully seek these virtues, these divine traits through each week? Why hadn't I ever been more intentional about this? Why did this seem like so great a concept to me?
I could chalk it up to a million excuses: busyness and preoccupation of one sort or another. But in the midst of other concerns, where might these greater things be found? What difference would it make to one's preparations and waiting to do this, even and especially while scurrying around to fulfill obligations of holiday, work, and family?
So obvious. Yet not. That, I suppose, is why it's a "discipline."
Next year, I plan to do better. We'll see.
Third Monday of Advent: Healing
I decided to go ahead and organize a Blue Christmas service in my new setting. This was before I'd experienced a full year here, but I figured that I'd been here long enough that a new service like this wouldn't be a big deal.
The central act of Blue Christmas as I've organized it has always been giving people an opportunity to come forward and light candles for the season's burdens. I'd set tea lights on tables along the front, and as people feel moved they may come forward and participate.
As it turns out, this practice is already observed on All Saints where I am. We observe totenfest, remembering those who have died over the past year, and then people may come forward and light candles for others whom they wish to remember. The more I thought about it, the more I didn't want this new service to seem redundant. So I opted to make Blue Christmas a healing service instead, complete with oil of anointing and prayers of healing for the season's burdens. I led healing services quite regularly in my previous setting, and this seemed like an appropriate event during which to hold one.
I have to admit that I've never fully understood what I'm doing during a healing service. It's something that I inherited where I was, and so I took the time to learn what happens as I went. There is a bit of a stigma around such things, conjuring images of television hucksters causing people to convulse on stage with the slightest touch. As I've come to understand it, the emphasis of these services as I've led them has been spiritual rather than the miraculous. People speak their concern, receive oil and prayers, and are encouraged to go in peace.
This was pretty much what happened last night. Again, it wasn't a big crowd, but those who were there needed to be there, seeking healing each in their own way. Joy can be more elusive than we care to admit this time of year; if this brief time to be quiet and to receive these gestures may aid in our finding it, then let it not be withheld. I muddle through it along with those seeking its benefits, hoping that a new sense of God's presence will carry them forward.
Vintage CC: Blue Christmas Prayer
I'll be leading a Blue Christmas service for the first time in my new setting this coming Sunday evening. I wrote this prayer in December 2005 for the first time I'd ever offered one, and have used it most years since. If you are one experiencing something other than joy or peace during this season, maybe this could be your prayer.
Around us, O God, the singing can be heard: 'Joy to the world…let heaven and nature sing.' This season is to be one of hope eases our minds, when peace soothes our hearts, when love warms our souls, and when joy comes each morning.
But there are many who do not feel this joy. Some might try, others have given up trying. 'Where is this joy for us?' they ask. The world has found joy but some feel as if it has passed them by. Our minds are not at ease…we feel too much doubt. Our hearts are not at peace…there is too much to do. Our souls are not warmed…the chill of death is too troubling. Where, O God, can joy be found? We ask this as we come before you in prayer, opening ourselves to the possibility that hope, peace, joy, and love might still come to us.
We pray for the lonely, that they might find comfort in another's touch.
We pray for the downtrodden, that they might find relief from their burdens.
We pray for those wrestling with depression, that a light of calm might bring them peace.
We pray for those dealing with stress, that they might find the courage to let go.
We pray for the grief-stricken, that they might experience the newness of life that you bring.
May joy come to the world, O God, and may we grasp some of that. We do not pray for joy that is temporary or fleeting, but a joy that runs deep and sustains us even in moments of despair. We seek this joy in a season that can be less than joyful. O God, hear our prayer.
We wait for Emanuel, God With Us, to come into our hearts once again. May we experience your love in new ways as we in turn love each other. We pray this in the name of the One who is to come. Amen.
Around us, O God, the singing can be heard: 'Joy to the world…let heaven and nature sing.' This season is to be one of hope eases our minds, when peace soothes our hearts, when love warms our souls, and when joy comes each morning.
But there are many who do not feel this joy. Some might try, others have given up trying. 'Where is this joy for us?' they ask. The world has found joy but some feel as if it has passed them by. Our minds are not at ease…we feel too much doubt. Our hearts are not at peace…there is too much to do. Our souls are not warmed…the chill of death is too troubling. Where, O God, can joy be found? We ask this as we come before you in prayer, opening ourselves to the possibility that hope, peace, joy, and love might still come to us.
We pray for the lonely, that they might find comfort in another's touch.
We pray for the downtrodden, that they might find relief from their burdens.
We pray for those wrestling with depression, that a light of calm might bring them peace.
We pray for those dealing with stress, that they might find the courage to let go.
We pray for the grief-stricken, that they might experience the newness of life that you bring.
May joy come to the world, O God, and may we grasp some of that. We do not pray for joy that is temporary or fleeting, but a joy that runs deep and sustains us even in moments of despair. We seek this joy in a season that can be less than joyful. O God, hear our prayer.
We wait for Emanuel, God With Us, to come into our hearts once again. May we experience your love in new ways as we in turn love each other. We pray this in the name of the One who is to come. Amen.
Second Monday of Advent: Calm
My practicum is pretty simple and straightforward: guide a pastoral colleague through the 19th Annotation version of the full Ignatian Spiritual Exercises, which will end up being 30-32 weekly meetings when it's all said and done, and offer the option of an abbreviated 8-week overview version of the Exercises to church members.
Just this fall, I've been meeting with three people for the 8-week retreats, so that's four people total with whom I've been meeting with for direction so far this year. No two retreats have been the same, as no two spiritual journeys are the same.
One of the most notable takeaways for me so far is how more than one directee has reported how much they've noticed their interactions with others have changed. They report times with difficult people where they've been inspired to take a step back and prayerfully consider how to handle it rather than up the anxiety by snapping back. Their daily prayer time has seeped into other aspects of their lives. It's been incredible to hear about. Here is the importance of spiritual health playing out for others to see.
Coffeedaughter recently dealt with RSV. Her nose was incredibly stuffy, her chest congested. She'd be privy to coughing fits, even to the point of choking. Unfortunately, this choking has led to gastrointestinal pyrotechnics more than once, usually at the most inopportune times.
One such time occurred a few weeks ago when we were already running late for a doctor's appointment. I'd just strapped her into her carseat when the coughing and subsequent vomiting happened. In the past when I've been in a situation like this, I've been privy to a complete freakout, albeit a brief one. This time, however, two things happened.
First, I remembered my directees reporting the difference in their spirits as a result of their prayer time when similar moments happened.
Second, a very clear voice in my head said, "You're no good to her when you're hyped up. She needs you to stay calm."
And so, letting go of how late we were, I set to work in cleaning her up and cradling her to calm her down. We would leave when we would leave. That was not the most important thing in that moment.
Whatever it is that my directees are learning from me, I'm learning just as much from them. At least indirectly, they helped get me through that morning. For that, I'm thankful. And during this week of the season when we're invited to reflect on peace, this will serve as the basis for my own reflection.
Small Sips Feels Pretty Good, Considering
trying to describe how to feel in the aftermath:
Advent humor. From nakedpastor:
Get it?
Sadly, I might know the typical answer. Jan at A Church for Starving Artists poses the question, "If you had to choose between your pastor or your building, which would you choose?"
Churches who choose this way aren't necessarily wrong, so long as the congregation realizes that it entails 1) getting what you pay for from your now part-time pastor, who likely will need to seek a second job of some kind in order to, you know, live, and 2) other members needing to take on a greater amount of shared ministry tasks to make up the difference. Not all churches who make this choice realize this.
A building can be very beneficial. It can also be a tremendous burden. A full-time pastor can be beneficial. It can also contribute to an attitude that s/he does ministry so the rest of us don't have to. There are plusses and pitfalls both ways. Choose wisely.
Misc. Jan on the need for mentors in the church. PeaceBang with some great advice for when wedding parties show up with booze. Rachel Held Evans on crazy youth group games.
How are you supposed to feel after coming up one play short against an undefeated Ohio State team that was favored by three scores? How about when that makes you two of the last 13 against the Great Satan? How are you supposed to feel after watching whatever that was on offense since the Notre Dame game* turn in the second-most yards Ohio State has ceded in 123 years? After watching the mostly valiant defense turn into the Indiana outfit that necessitated the footnote in the previous sentence?
Football's ridiculous. There's that. We can all agree on that after the football gods cooked up the worst possible torture imaginable for Harvey Updyke, who is 100% at fault for the way the Iron Bowl ended. That is the only thing that actually makes sense about football, a 109-yard field goal return to beat the #1 team in the country. Football is ridiculous.Football is indeed ridiculous. I myself came away feeling oddly calm and even optimistic about the future, provided that Michigan's offensive coordinator can get his act together and do what they did on Saturday much, MUCH more often.
Advent humor. From nakedpastor:
Get it?
Sadly, I might know the typical answer. Jan at A Church for Starving Artists poses the question, "If you had to choose between your pastor or your building, which would you choose?"
This is a real question for several churches I know and love. With a building, weget a place to gather and it's often a placed drenched with community or personal history. With a pastor, we get someone to cast a vision and equip the other leaders to do ministry.
Some churches are identified by their pastors (i.e. "I'm part of Lillian Daniel's church.")
Some churches are identified by their buildings (i.e. "The stone church with the beautiful windows on the corner.")
What if we could only afford one?It's a worthwhile question to ask, especially in an age where congregations really are finding themselves needing to make that choice more and more. My own experience is that such a decision comes down in favor of the building more often than not, because it's such a great resource, or because we have so much left on the mortgage, or because so-and-so helped build it years and years and years (and years) ago. So the pastoral position gets scaled back to part-time, benefits get slashed, and so on.
Churches who choose this way aren't necessarily wrong, so long as the congregation realizes that it entails 1) getting what you pay for from your now part-time pastor, who likely will need to seek a second job of some kind in order to, you know, live, and 2) other members needing to take on a greater amount of shared ministry tasks to make up the difference. Not all churches who make this choice realize this.
A building can be very beneficial. It can also be a tremendous burden. A full-time pastor can be beneficial. It can also contribute to an attitude that s/he does ministry so the rest of us don't have to. There are plusses and pitfalls both ways. Choose wisely.
Misc. Jan on the need for mentors in the church. PeaceBang with some great advice for when wedding parties show up with booze. Rachel Held Evans on crazy youth group games.
First Monday of Advent: Beginnings
These sorts of anniversaries have always been a big deal to me. They provide a way to look back and do some evaluation; to take time to celebrate steps forward and consider lessons to be learned from missteps. Having begun a new pastorate this year, that time now comes around the beginning of Lent instead, perhaps just as appropriate for such reflection.
Even with these two beginnings now divorced from one another for me personally, Advent still brings with it the end of one year and the start of another. For all the different calendars with which we mark the time--Gregorian, school, seasonal--this particular one provides us with one more beginning to anticipate.
I admit that I'm a liturgy geek. I'm not on the same level as many of my colleagues, but the liturgical year is important to me. Some are down on it for various reasons: it's too confusing, "too Catholic," too rote. The lectionary comes under fire in conjunction, and there are good reasons to critique it. But the church calendar itself can be important and meaningful for the story that it tells. First comes the need for redemption, the crying out of a people for a new revelation of God's love and presence.
That is Advent. We cry out, and we wait. We anticipate a new beginning and the celebration that it will bring, whatever trimmings it brings for each of us. But it also invites a time to reflect on where we've been; to celebrate steps forward and consider lessons from missteps. Part of Advent waiting is the intentional preparation, the questions we may ask of ourselves regarding what to leave behind as Christmas approaches. Sure, lots of people do this citing New Year's as the reason, but for people of faith we may be able to do it in a different way.
I will no longer associate Advent with the beginning of my pastoral year. However, with this being the first time I'll journey through it in a new place, there will still be plenty of cause for reflection and observation, both personally and pastorally. It is still a beginning, a time to slow down and see where new life is needed.
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Hot Toys has revealed its 1/6th scale Captain America Collectible Figure for Marvel's Avengers: Age of Ultron which you can view in the gallery below. The figure, coming in Q2 or Q3 of 2015, is specially crafted based on the image of Chris Evans as Captain America/Steve Rogers in Avengers: Age of Ultron, featuring a newly-painted helmeted head sculpt, a newly-painted Steve Rogers head sculpt, finely tailored Captain America suit, magnetic metal Captain America shield with retractable handles, and a specially designed figure stand.
The 1/6th scale Captain America Collectible Figure specially features:

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Our martial arts program for kids can help develop you child's focus, self-esteem and confidence, while providing a lifestyle of fitness and health.
Teen Taekwondo at King's Martial Arts can help develop your teen's focus, self-esteem, confidence, while helping them stay physically fit, relieve stress and develop character.
Our unique martial arts program for adults helps adults get fit, lose weight and equip them with self-defense training that may one day save their life. Take a free class to learn more about martial arts for you.
In our Black Belt Program, all black belts are certified through the international World Taekwondo organization in Korea. In our Black Belt Program, you will get the training to become black belt champions.
"My 13 year-old son started taking classes at King's 9 years ago. He's now a 2nd degree black belt, and still trains with Master King. The studio, instructors, everything about King's is positive and motivates students to reach for their best. We couldn't imagine life without King's and Master King's wonderful influence."
I highly recommend Kings Martial Arts Academy to anyone who is interested in learning both this art and science. I have come to know many of the BB Instructors. All are extremely professional and skilled in all aspects of self-defense including technique and form. My son thoroughly enjoys each session and has gained a high degree of self-respect and confidence. Many thanks to Master King, Michael, Maria, Johnny and Nathan.
Master King is an excellent instructor an trainer in both martial arts and character development. He and his instructors have served our kids well, who have been training with him for over 6 years. They are now black belt level students who continue to grow in confidence and skill and character. Highly recommend KMA.
Master King is awesome with the kids. My kids love the place and good life lessons taught everyday to the kids.
We LOVE Kings. Nick and Tommy have both taken classes there. Johnny and Master King have both really helped build Tommy's confidence.
Master king is so kind and amazing with the kids. We love it here
My daughter started martial arts at the age 4 @Kings Martial Arts, and right from the beginning she loved and enjoyed every minute of it. Now she's being trained for her Black Belt test, thanks to all her loving, patient, and of course, knowledgeable instructors.


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When Randolph performs at your event you will experience the tasty international elements of artists such as Reggie Watts, Seal, Gregory Porter and Bobby McFerrin combined with a vocal beatbox and soulful inspired Jazz. Using only his voice and cool technology this unique 'live experience" immerses audiences in a sonically fun, soulful world of music.
Randolph's one man show 'Growing pains' is an inspirational and compelling experience, utilising his humerus and participative approach to live performance.
You will leave Randolph's show having laughed, danced and reminded yourselves of the truly important things in life.
Randolph has collaborated with Plan B, Rudimental, Herbie Hancock, Shlomo and [url hidden] and performed solo in front of 750,000 people with the record breaking Young Voices Choir (the largest school choir concerts in the world) .
He has also performed at prestigious venues such as Buckingham Palace, The Royal Festival Hall and Royal Albert Hall and has been a resident artist at the famous Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club.
Randolph has considerable experience working with large audiences having recently completed a 2 year 48 date Arena tour. Moving sell out crowds of 22,000 to their feet in Dublin,Manchester,Sheffield Birmingham and London's world renowned O2.
"This mans not just original he's out there"- Blues and Soul Magazine
'If you get the chance to see him grab it with both [url hidden] 'll come away with a huge grin,uplifted and inspired !' - Jumoke Fashola, BBC London


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Men and women share many similar dietary needs, but there are also important differences that must be considered when it comes to a healthy diet and weight loss in men. A one-size-fits-all approach to dieting simply does not exist, because individual differences and preferences must be considered in order to set achievable goals. So if you are a man looking for a way to lose weight that will keep you motivated without having to sacrifice hearty meals and help you achieve real results, we're confident that our program is the right choice. Check out the following reasons why we believe the Medifast California program is the right diet choice for men.
Eat Like a Nutritionist
In sports, a good personal coach helps turn average sportsmen into champions. We build a similar dynamic into our program through the Medifast Weight Control Centers. Most of our counselors have degrees in nutrition or related fields, such as nursing, fitness or kinetics and will tailor a program to fit your lifestyle and needs. What better way to plan your meals than to receive personal guidance and support from a nutritionist? Each week you will come into your Medifast Center for a consultation. You have flexibility in scheduling your appointment once or twice a week depending on your personal preference. We also make sure to pair you with a counselor that suits your personality and can meet specific needs.
Don't Sacrifice a Hearty Diet
You may be thinking that in order to drop the pounds you will also have to drop your favorite foods. Where other meal replacements simply fall short on taste and satisfaction, you'll be pleasantly surprised to learn that Medifast Meals are not only delicious but keep you feeling full with the proper balance of protein and fiber. We keep you on track wherever you dine with Lean & Green™ meal guidelines and our convenient Dining Out guide that allow you to enjoy a wide range of hearty foods including sirloin steaks, chicken, beef and pork. If you are used to enjoying a hearty meal, you can continue to do so with the Medifast California program. One of our main priorities is helping you make your favorite meals healthier in order to enjoy your weight loss journey without feeling as if you're deprived of enjoying your favorite meals. If you enjoy whipping up your own dishes in the kitchen, check out our great selection of recipes.
Real Results
We are proud of the many program features and quality attention that we offer each of our clients, but our success stories speak volumes about why the Medifast California program truly works. Men, young and old, have not only experienced successful weight loss, but have also kept it off. Come join a community where you can not only experience weight loss but enjoy every step along the way. There is no better time to start losing weight and with Medifast California, you'll be making the right choice!


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I recently borrowed this 1983 novel by David James Duncan from my parents, and as soon as I began it, I wondered why I'd never picked it up before. The River Why is a hilarious, quirky, and heartfelt coming-of-age story with a conservation message narrated by the highly earnest Gus Orviston. The son of two passionate but very different fisherpeople, Gus moves to an isolated fishing cabin on an Oregon river as soon as he graduates from high school—in part to escape the maddening relationship between the people who taught him his deep love of fishing. Gus also wants to live by what he calls an "ideal schedule," allotting as much time as possible each day to fishing, spending the bare minimum on necessities such as eating and sleeping.
Gus gradually discovers that as much as he loves fishing, his life is lacking something. Several friends and acquaintances—particularly his eccentric little brother Bill Bob, the only member of the Orivston family who doesn't like fishing—guide Gus in discovering the deeper meaning of life.
I liked this book so much, I wanted to share it with others by writing a review, but at the time, KPL did not own a copy. So I used the suggest an item feature on kpl.gov to request that the library purchase a copy, and they did. Check it out!
Posted by Kit Almy at 08/06/2018 12:46:38 PM
Books for: Kids, Teens & Tweens


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Jeff Hawkins
Keynote speaker, mobile computing pioneer, passion is creation of machine intelligence
Jeff Hawkins is co-founder of Grok (formerly known as Numenta). Jeff is an entrepreneur, scientist, and author. He was a founder of two mobile computing companies, Palm and Handspring, and was the architect of many computing products such as the PalmPilot and Treo smartphone. Throughout his life Jeff has also been active in neuroscience and modeling the neocortex. In 2002 he founded the Redwood Neuroscience Institute, a scientific institute focused on understanding how the neocortex processes information. The institute is now located at U.C. Berkeley. In 2004 he wrote the book On Intelligence, which describes progress on understanding the neocortex. In 2005 he co-founded Numenta (now Grok), a start-up company building a technology based on neocortical theory. It is his hope that Grok will play a catalytic role in the emerging field of machine intelligence.
Jeff Hawkins earned his B.S. in electrical engineering from Cornell University in 1979. He was elected to the National Academy of Engineering in 2003
YOW! 2013 Sydney
Computing Like the Brain: The Path to Machine Intelligence
Understanding how the brain works and building machines that work on the same principles is one of the greatest quests of our time. In this talk I will describe recent advances in neocortical theory, including why the brain uses sparse distributed representations and how the brain makes predictions from high velocity sensory data streams.
I will demonstrate a product called Grok, that uses a detailed model of neocortical memory to act on machine generated data and how developers can contribute to the development of intelligent machines via the NuPIC open source project (www.numenta.org).
I will end my talk with a discussion of the future of machine intelligence.


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Celebrity Bathrooms
21 Celebrity Bathrooms That Could Double as Luxury Spas
21 Celebrity Bathrooms That Could Double as Luxury Spas
Since bathrooms are a very high-traffic area of any home, it makes total sense for them to be comfortable . . . and it seems that nobody takes bathroom luxury more seriously than celebrities! When planning their multimillion-dollar mansions in the best neighborhoods, you'd best believe that your favorite celebs prioritize glamorous bathroom design. These 21 bathrooms have it all, from marble walls to ocean views.
— Additional reporting by Maggie Winterfeldt
Source: PartnersTrust


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The 2015 sales figures are in, and e-book sales had their first meaningful decline: from $1.6B in 2014 to $1.4B in 2015.
Sales had increased exponentially for a while, then plateaued around $1.5B per year, and this is the first real decrease. Is it a blip or the start of a decline?
Note that the AAP no longer gives as much detail on sales (they want you to pay for exact figures), so the totals for the last 2 years are rounded to the nearest hundred million dollars.
Just for fun, back in 2013, I predicted a "5–10% increase" for 2014 (actual was +6.7%), so I did pretty well there. I didn't make a prediction for 2015, but I don't think I would have expected a decrease of more than 10%. It still marks 5 years in a row of e-book sales of over one billion dollars, and remember this only counts large publisher sales, not self-published e-books, which account for a larger and larger slice of the market. So overall e-book sales may even still be going up.
For adult books, e-book sales were down 9.5%, and children's & young adult e-book sales were down 43.3%.
Overall trade book sales were $7,186.3M in 2015, up slightly from $7,128.7M in 2014. That would put e-books at about 19.5% of the total.
Year-end 2013 book sales numbers are in, and e-books essentially flatlined from 2012 figures, coming in at $1,534M. The slowdown was expected, especially since 2012 was considered a great year due to the success of 50 Shades of Grey and The Hunger Games.
Adult e-book sales were actually up 3.8%, to $1,300.9M. Children's e-book sales decreased a whopping -26.7% (remember The Hunger Games), while religious e-books increased 9.7%, to $63.6M.
- 2003: $6.0M (185.7% increase)
- 2004: $9.3M (55.0% increase)
- 2005: $16.0M (72.0% increase)
- 2006: $25.2M (57.5% increase)
- 2007: $31.7M (25.8% increase)
- 2008: $61.3M (93.4% increase)
- 2009: $169.5M (176.5% increase)
- 2010: $441.3M (160.4% increase)
- 2011: $1,092.2M (147.5% increase)
- 2012: $1,540.0M (41.0% increase)
- 2013: $1,535.0M (0.3% decrease)
Overall book sales came in at $7,013.3M, down almost 1% from 2012. Adult e-book sales actually encompassed 26.7% of the market (up from 23% in 2012). Overall, e-books accounted for 21.9% of all book revenue, slightly behind last year's pace, since children's e-book sales were down significantly.
- 2002: 0.05%
- 2006: 0.50%
- 2008: 1.18%
- 2009: 3.17%
- 2010: 8.32%
- 2011: 16.98%
- 2012: 22.55%
- 2013: 21.89%
So how did I do on my yearly prediction? After hitting the target pretty much spot-on (within 3%!) in both 2012 and 2011, I was farther off this year. I did expect e-book sales to slow significantly (I predicted a 20-25% increase, compared to triple-digit increases in the past), but sales ended up essentially flat. As I said, between work and a kid, I have had far less time to keep up with the publishing industry, and I guess it showed. Also, due to the aforementioned constraints on my time, my personal reading has dropped to almost zero… so I partially blame myself for the slowdown in e-book sales!
Just for kicks, what do I think will happen in 2014? I do expect a mild bounce-back, let's say a 5-10% increase. (Bookmark us and check back in a year. Until then, why not read a good book? 😉 )
I've talked before about self-publishing, how it's been a huge boon to my writing career, but also how authors should temper their expectations: realize that writing, editing, designing a cover for, formatting and converting, and marketing a self-published book is a lot of hard work, and is less likely than the lottery to make you rich. (For that matter, traditional publishing is hardly a high-percentage method for getting rich, or even making a decent living.)
Of course, just like with the lottery, there are a few unvarnished success stories that provide something for independent authors to aspire to. The two most exceptional are independent authors John Locke and Amanda Hocking. This week, Amazon announced that Hocking joined Locke (along with 12 traditionally-published authors) in the "Kindle Million Club," by selling over a million copies of their books in the Amazon Kindle Store. (Twilight author Stephanie Meyer attained that lofty mark this week as well.)
Hocking began as a self-published, independent author, and her runaway success led to her accepting a four-book deal with St. Martin's Press (a subsidiary of Macmillan) worth over $2 million.
The most interesting thing to me about Amazon's press release was this note:
In addition to the more than 2 million books sold by John Locke and Amanda Hocking, 12 KDP authors have sold more than 200,000 books and 30 KDP authors have sold more than 100,000 books.
(KDP stands for "Kindle Direct Publishing." It's the method by which self-published authors may upload their own works to be sold in the Kindle Store.)
So, how likely are you to strike it rich by self-publishing? There are now over 1,000,000 titles in the Kindle Store, and probably at least 100,000 self-published authors selling their books through KDP. E-books on Amazon are sold for a minimum of 99 cents per title (netting the author $0.35), while many independently-published e-books (including my own) are sold for $2.99 (netting the author about $2.05). So, if we assume 100,000 self-published authors, of that number:
- 2 authors (0.002%) have sold 1,000,000 books, earning at least $350,000
- 12 authors (0.012%) have sold 200,000 books, earning at least $70,000 (and possibly $410,000)
- 30 authors (0.03%) have sold 100,000 books, earning at least $35,000 (and possibly $205,000)
Of course, those dollar amounts are before taxes (yes, Amazon sends a 1099-MISC, so you have to pay income taxes) and any expenses for agents, editing, cover design, e-book conversion, advertising, web hosting, etc. And I think it's fair to assume that the majority (probably the vast majority) of these high-selling titles were sold at 99 cents — I know almost all of John Lock's titles were sold at $0.99 and most of Hocking's were as well. So, 44 indie authors in the world have managed to make $35,000+ (before taxes and expenses) through selling e-books on Amazon — and we're assuming each author may have written about 10 books, which would take several years, if not a decade or more. (Hocking has 11 books on Amazon, and Locke has 12.)
I'm not writing this to either convince you or dissuade you from writing a book, or trying to sell it on Amazon. I've long maintained that if you want to write a book, my best advice to you is to write it for yourself, because you enjoy the writing process and have a story to tell — assume you won't make any money from it, and if you still yearn to write, then go for it. After that, you can decide if the potential monetary payoff is enough to offset the time, effort, and money you'll spend, and the inevitable criticism you'll receive by self-publishing. (For what it's worth, even though I'm not yet one of the 44, I am glad of my decision to self-publish.) But I wanted to include the numbers above, which were the first I've seen that really specifically give us a clue as to how common these success stories are. They prove that it certainly is possible to "strike it rich" as an independent author, but it takes a lot of work, and the odds of you even making a living (let alone getting rich) are still quite low.
So, you've written a book — congratulations! What now?
Unless you just want your book to sit on your hard drive or print it out to share with a few friends, you have two main choices: (1) write query letters to traditional publishers in the hopes they decide to publish you, or (2) self-publish, releasing your book on your own. This article focuses on the self-publishing option, and specifically self-publishing your work as an e-book through Smashwords (check here for tips on print self-publishing).
Once you upload your e-book (as a Microsoft Word document) to Smashwords, they will convert it for you into multiple formats, and then will not only sell it from their own site, but will distribute it to a growing list of e-book retailers, including Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Sony, Apple, and Diesel. The best part about this is that Smashwords doesn't charge any up-front fees for conversion or distribution (they even give you a free ISBN, which is required to distribute through Apple), they instead keep 15% of the royalties you earn through sales. This allows you to get started with no out-of-pocket expense, and you can remove your books from distribution (or elect only certain channels) at any time. It is up to you to decide whether it is worth a 15% cut for Smashwords to convert your book for you, distribute it to multiple retailers, and consolidate your sales and payment reports in one place.
How to Get Started
The first thing you'll need is a novel (or short story) in electronic format, probably in Microsoft Word. For purposes of creating an e-book, you generally want to strip out all the fancy formatting you might use in a printed book: get rid of fancy fonts (just put everything in Times New Roman), strange indents or block quotes, and weird symbols. You can keep bold and italics, and smart quotes and em dashes should translate properly, although they sometimes cause problems. It's generally better to use first-line paragraph indents in Word (instead of hitting the tab key — and never use spaces to indent paragraphs). Do not leave blank lines between paragraphs, since some e-book readers add them and you'll end up with triple spacing! The basic rule is: the simpler, the better. Various e-book readers will display your text in different ways, and users can adjust font sizes at will, so just forget about the idea of controlling every aspect of how the text will look and where pages within a chapter break (like you would in a printed book), and keep the formatting clean and simple. Do not use multiple line breaks, those look terrible on the screen — use a blank line and a row of asterisks to indicate chapter or section breaks instead.
The second thing you'll need is a front cover, which should be in 2:3 ratio. It should be at least 800 pixels tall, although you'll be using the same image (along with a spine and back cover) if you make a paperback, and that requires at least 300 dpi, so it's best to make it high-resolution to begin with (1800×2700 pixels for a 6×9 paperback). Any interior art (like an "about the author" photo) should be black and white and at least 150 dpi. The less interior art, the simpler it will be.
Smashwords Formatting
Smashwords has an excellent free Style Guide that will help you prepare your Microsoft Word document for upload. It basically explains how to do what I said above: simplify and clean up your Word document, remove line breaks and extraneous formatting that translates poorly to e-books, etc. You can then upload your Word file and Smashwords will convert that file to all the e-book formats you need, including MOBI and ePub.
Like I said above, it definitely helps to keep your formatting simple, and follow the instructions in the Style Guide. E-book formatting can be an arduous process when you're first learning, and it's easier to follow the Style Guide instead of fighting it.
For a little more detail on a weird e-book formatting problem I had (which prevented my books from passing the dreaded ePubCheck), check out this post: Formatting for Smashwords and ePubCheck.
The simplest way to get your e-book distributed as widely as possible and looking pretty good is to: (1) read and follow the Smashwords Style Guide, (2) create a Word document with simple, clean formatting, (3) upload that Word document to Smashwords and let them convert it for you, and (4) enter your book's information, description, price, etc. at Smashwords, and (5) opt in to all the distribution channels you want. You should end up with a nice-looking e-book, and it will be available on B&N, Kobo, Apple, Sony, and other e-book sellers. (At this time, Smashwords doesn't distribute to Amazon or Google, although they have been working on Amazon distribution for a while. You can distribute directly to Amazon through their KDP platform.)
I do recommend the Smashwords service, and use it to distribute my own novels. Check them out on Smashwords here!
New York Times-bestselling author Barry Eisler recently turned down a $500,000 advance from "Big 6" traditional (or "legacy") publisher St. Martin's Press for a two-book deal. Now, it's one thing for indie authors to turn their noses up at large publishers, and it's even another thing for best-selling indie authors to spurn mid-list book deals (J. A. Konrath comes to mind), but we're talking about turning down half a million dollars. This is pretty big news.
If I were a legacy publisher, I imagine this would feel like hearing the lookout yell, "Iceberg, dead ahead!" Or possibly like one of the more degenerate Roman emperors realizing the Visigoths had breached the city gates for the first time in 800 years. Maybe they feel like the railroad companies when the Interstate Highway System was announced, or like buggy-whip makers watching the first car drive down the road. Or maybe the more apt analogy is Marie "Let Them Eat Cake" Antoinette wondering what all those peasants with pitchforks were doing outside. I could do this all day.
Anyway, it's a pretty monumental event. And I don't think Eisler is insane, or just wants to stick it to "the man." In fact, by all accounts, "the man" has been generally good to him and he has lots of nice things to say about publishers (albeit with plenty of complaints as well). For him, it was mostly a financial decision: he thinks he will earn more than $500,000 self-publishing these two books. He might even be right; he's already made $1,600 in a few weeks (and is on pace to make $30,000 this year) on a short story he self-published and released electronically. He clearly has fans, and he's listened to Konrath's advice to price his works attractively (under $5). He believes that, in the long term, he can't see giving up e-book rights to a legacy print publisher forever (which, even if they earn out that hefty advance, would only net him 14.9% on additional e-book sales); he believes the print distribution advantages that publisher would give him will be short-lived and outweighed by the greater e-book royalties (70%) and control (especially over pricing) that he'll have by going it on his own. Several times, he mentioned that he just didn't feel right signing away e-book rights to a company that he believes is trying to delay the ascendence of e-books as long as possible, by fighting instead of embracing them.
And I can certainly understand many of those same feelings and concerns … but it is half a million dollars. Of course, I don't know Mr. Eisler or his financial situation, and I don't know exactly how well his books sell (obviously pretty well). And I'd imagine, whatever offer the publisher gave, the rights are worth more than that, especially when maximized effectively with proper pricing and customer-friendly policies. But, it's another salvo in the "It's easy to get rich e-publishing" meme gaining traction online, which I think is dangerously seductive to aspiring authors the same way the lottery is seductive to people who can't afford buying tickets and the NBA is seductive to kids who should probably spend more time studying trigonometry instead of the triangle offense.
In any event, this move is a pretty big deal, and has to be a big blow to the legacy publishing industry. I've said for a while that best-selling authors will start migrating away from traditional publishers and going it alone (what can a big publisher offer Stephen King at this point that he can't do on his own?), and Eisler appears to be the first big domino to fall. Sometimes these types of paradigm shifts happen "gradually, then suddenly," so we'll see if Eisler is merely an aberration or the start of a trend. Either way, legacy publishers can't be happy with this news.
For the record, no, I've never been offered a $500,000 advance, and yes, I would take it in a hot second. Then I'd live off that money and write a whole bunch more books that I'd probably self-publish. 😉
Author John Scalzi posted this most excellent "Electronic Publishing Bingo" scorecard over on his blog, and, while it's hilarious in its own right, I think it's also worth a bit of closer discussion. (As with most humor, it has more than a grain of truth in it.)
While the scorecard includes some funny misconceptions and inconsistencies ("Stop Being Greedy and Also Where's My Sequel?" is gold), it also includes several references to unbridled e-book success: "Everyone Will be as Successful as these Outliers;" "Amanda Hocking" and "J.A. Konrath" (the aforementioned outliers); "All You Need is 100,000 Readers;" "Anyone Will Read Anything if it's 99 Cents;" and my favorite, "Publicity? Just Go Viral!" A number of squares also reference how easy it is to be a successful writer or publisher: "Crowd Source the Backend," "Cover Art? You Can Just Photoshop That," and "Spellcheck is Really Advanced These Days."
I am certainly excited about the future (and the present!) of electronic publishing, and have written glowingly of it many times. I've even tried to help fellow authors on their path to self-publishing in both electronic and printed formats. And I do believe that authors today (whether first-time novelists or mega-bestsellers) should seriously consider self-publishing as an option — and that, in some cases, it may make more sense than publishing with a legacy publisher who is fighting instead of adopting electronic publishing.
But I've never promised easy riches or fame. I've never even promised very difficult riches or fame. At the end of the day, there are still way better ways to earn money, and even way better ways to take a gamble and strike it rich (practicing your jump shot or playing the lottery come to mind). Writing has never been a profession of easy riches (just of a very very tiny minority who make a lot of money, a fair number of authors who struggle to make a living, and countless authors who earn nothing or even lose money), and self-publishing is, in many ways, even tougher: part of self-publishing means that you have to do everything yourself (or pay to have it done). That means not only writing, but editing, proofreading, cover design, jacket blurb, author bio, print formatting, e-book formatting, marketing, social media, maintaining a website and blog, sales tracking, income taxes and expenses, etc.
As I've mentioned, there are more and more self-publishing authors who are doing well, some even very well, financially by self-publishing. But "more and more" is a relative term: there were exactly 0 people making good money in 2009 self-publishing, 1 or 2 in 2010, and maybe half a dozen so far in 2011. There are probably another few dozen making some kind of living at it. And this is out of about 1,000,000 books that were published last year, about 3/4 of them self-published. I've heard stats that claim the average self-pubbed title sells only 200 books. Considering it takes around a year to write and prepare a book, and might cost several hundred dollars or more for cover art, editing, and formatting, most books either lose money, break even, or earn their authors literally pennies per hour. I'm closing in on 10,000 sales, but I'm probably closing in on 10,000 hours spent (between writing 3 novels, all the other tasks I mentioned above, never-ending marketing, and all the research and blog posts I read and write on the publishing industry). So pennies an hour about covers it, and I've done better than most.
Even for the success stories, there's no guarantee that their current sales trends will continue. I've seen my own books fluctuate from a few sales a day to 1,500 a month, and back down again. Same books, same covers, same hard work, same everything. I'm glad I wasn't relying on the income to pay the rent. The electronic publishing future could change pretty drastically: publishers might get on board with low prices, Amazon might lower royalty rates or stop allowing self-publishing altogether, or there might be so many books out there that no one finds yours.
I say all this just to help temper expectations: as the Bingo board above illustrates, the Internet is alive with people touting self-publishing as a get-rich-quick scheme, an easy money-maker, and something you just have to get in on. Many of those shouting the loudest are companies looking to make money in publishing the same way it's been made for decades: by preying on the dreams of aspiring authors and charging them for questionable editing, marketing, printing, or distribution services. Others are well-intentioned people or aspiring authors themselves who sincerely believe we're in the midst of a "gold rush." It is not my intention to throw cold water on anyone's dreams, but I also don't want to mislead anyone, and the reality isn't necessarily as rosy as some would like to hope.
Even J.A. Konrath (arguably the first self-published author to start making good money) will tell you, over and over, that a whole lot of publishing (including self-publishing and electronic publishing) comes down to luck. Let's face it, the big publishers, with 100 years' experience and big marketing budgets, can't predict what the next huge bestseller is — forget about home runs, they can't even always hit singles, with about 80% of their releases losing money. Sometimes, things get hot, and go "viral" for no discernible reason; it's just the right thing at the right time that was picked up by the right group of people.
That's not to say that you can't increase your odds by writing a good book, editing it until it shines, having a professional-looking cover, doing a good job with formatting, writing a compelling blurb, and pricing your work competitively (under $5, usually $0.99 or $2.99). But even doing all that, the odds of making a living at writing — let alone becoming rich or famous at it — are stacked firmly against you. Yes, electronic publishing offers some exciting new opportunities, and I've obviously taken on the challenge for myself. But the advice I've given authors all my life — and I still stand behind today — is to write a book only if you want to write it for yourself, and look at any future sales or income only as a secondary bonus, not a sure thing.
UPDATE: Some interesting specific numbers from Amazon here, showing just how few authors "strike it rich" self-publishing.
A couple of days ago, Random House became the last of the "Big 6" legacy publishers to switch over to the agency model. The agency model (described in full detail here) forces e-book retailers (like Amazon and B&N) to sell e-books at the prices that the publishers choose, with no discounting allowed. The retailers receive 30% of the purchase price.
Switching to the agency model usually results in higher e-book prices (for example, bestsellers rising from $9.99 to $12.99 or more once Amazon is no longer allowed to discount them), and should ensure that prices are the same at any e-book retailer. (On the plus side, that means there's usually little point in shopping around for e-books; on the minus side, that means you'll rarely find a sale or good deal, everything will be "full price.")
Part of the reason (perhaps the main reason) Random House succumbed, 11 months later, is to get their e-books on Apple's iBookstore, which requires an agency model contract (the timing of the announcement coming on the heels of the iPad 2 introduction can't be a coincidence). And some Random House titles are starting to show up in the iBookstore. But, with the iBookstore struggling, was this a smart move for Random House? After all, before the switch, Random House was the only large publisher still using the retail model (the same model used for printed books), where Random House received 50% of the "list price," which was often the same as the hardcover price, and Amazon could discount the e-book as much as they wanted without cutting into the royalty. So, instead of Amazon selling bestsellers for $9.99 and giving Random House $13 or so, now they'll sell them for $12.99 and give Random House $9.09 (70%). (Click here for more on the cost breakdowns of e-books and printed books.)
Will iBookstore sales make up for selling fewer books and earning less on each sale through Amazon and B&N? Consider me skeptical. I thought it was more likely that the other large publishers would switch away from the agency model when their original 1-year terms end next month. Do they know what they're doing, or is this just another example of large publishers hastening their own extinction? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below….
It may surprise you to know that when you buy an e-book from Amazon, B&N, or pretty much any other e-book retailer, you're not really buying the e-book in the same sense that you'd buy a printed book or, say, a tomato. You're actually paying for a license to do certain things with the e-book, such as download it to a certain device, read it, lend it one time for 14 days, perhaps listen to it with text-to-speech (or perhaps not), etc. But it's quite confusing for a couple of reasons: first, it feels like a sale (not a license) because you pay money, then download the e-book, then it sits on your e-reader or computer and it certainly seems like you own it. Second, neither the publishers nor the retailers have really gone out of their way to explain or market these transactions as mere licenses instead of sales, since they know people are unwilling to pay as much for a license as for full ownership of something (note that the button on Amazon says "Buy Now," not "Rent Now" or "Lease Now" or "Click Here to Enter into a Complicated Licensing Arrangement").
But this ambiguity leads to certain problems and misunderstandings. For example, the infamous case of Amazon removing the book 1984 from people's Kindles — which was actually pretty reasonable when you understand that those e-books were licensed, and not sold. (You know those 50 pages of legal crap you skip over when you create an Amazon account or update your iTunes or iPhone software? It's in there somewhere … I think — I didn't read it.) Since Amazon was merely licensing those e-books to you, under their own license from a publisher (who only licensed the right to distribute the book — and did not buy the copyright — from the author), once Amazon realized that one of those licenses was invalid (in this case, the publisher did not properly license the right to distribute the work), the subsequent licenses down the chain became invalid. And since it was a license, not a sale, you never legally owned that copy of 1984, so Amazon did what they thought was right at the time, and removed it.
In the physical book world, you've probably heard about the "first sale doctrine." That means that, once you lawfully purchase or acquire a printed book, you can then lend or re-sell it as you see fit. (You can not make additional copies, but you can sell the one copy you have.) But this is where the confusion comes in — people understand they have those rights with a physical book, even if they've never heard of the first sale doctrine. They still know they can lend the book to their sister. And they expect the same with an e-book, because they assume they bought the e-book and didn't just rent or license it. Of course, to be reasonable, lending or selling a physical book means you lose access to it, and the same is not true of a digital file (which you can keep and email to a friend), so perhaps it's not fair for the same rules to apply.
Where it gets confusing is that, while no one is going out of their way to point out that you just plunked down $12.99 to only license that new e-book, Amazon is going out of their way to assure customers that they will never remove purchased e-books from customers' Kindles again. When you buy an e-book from Amazon, you can download it to your Kindle, and it will stay there, whether you're connected to Amazon or not, whether Amazon even continues to exist or not. You don't have to log in or authenticate or anything to keep reading it. You can even download a copy of the e-book to your computer and back it up with the rest of your computer data. And if Amazon disappeared tomorrow, you'd keep right on reading whatever e-books you had already downloaded. In short, it sure feels like you bought and own the e-book.
Even those of us who understand that e-books we buy are actually licensed are generally OK with the situation, because of all the safeguards I've described above. I own the file, it sits on my Kindle, on my computer, and backed up on an external hard drive, and there's no way for Amazon to reach into my computer and remove it or stop it from working. I can turn my Kindle's wireless off and they can't touch that either. So I'm OK with paying for an e-book under the current system. But I don't think readers will accept full-on e-book licenses — not without certain guarantees that make those "licenses" act more like traditional sales. For the same reasons, I don't think customers will accept reading "in the cloud" — e-books you read only while connected to the Internet and don't download anywhere — since we understand our access to those titles could be cut off at any time.
I know readers are willing to give up owning a physical object, and I even think they're willing to give up the traditional "first sale" print rights of lending and resale, so long as the e-book prices are lower than physical. This is a key point: whether it's called a license or a sale, readers do understand that they don't get all the rights they get with print books, and don't think they should pay the full print price (also, of course, we understand e-books cost less to produce). But I don't think readers are willing to give up ownership of the digital file (at least not now or anytime soon). People want to build digital libraries and own those files forever — they don't want to re-buy them in some other format for some new e-reader / tablet / smartphone / laptop device 5 years from now, and they don't want to somehow lose access to them. So, call it a license, call it a sale, call it whatever you want, so long as I can download the file to my computer and back it up and keep reading it even if Amazon disappeared from the face of the Earth or wanted to stop all Kindle operations tomorrow.
Of course, publishers would like nothing more than to sell you an e-book today, and in 5 years, when some new e-book format magically appears, sell you that same e-book again in that new format. After all, it worked for the music and movie industries, which made you buy cassette tapes, then CDs, then MP3s (and VHS tapes, then DVDs, then Blu-Ray DVDs). Will they get away with it? I don't think so. The file is already digital, and there's no issue of higher quality or resolution — words are words are words. (Of course, "enhanced" e-books, with video and such, would be a different story if anyone wanted to buy such things.) And, there's no reason why the Kindle 8 or iPad generation 17 can't read MOBI or ePub e-book files — and even if they can't, software will exist to convert them into the new file formats. Of course, this is where DRM comes in, and where things get messy. This is why a lot of people are so strongly against DRM, and where the issue of ownership comes to a head: we understand publishers want to prevent copying, but if I own the e-book file, I should be able to convert it and read it on some new device 5 or 10 years from now. And, if I can't, if this isn't an e-book sale, but just a strictly-controlled rental that will expire in a few years, then forget $9.99 — people aren't going to be willing to pay anywhere near print book prices for e-books, nor should they, if they'll just have to keep re-buying them every few years. And I think the publishers are intentionally refusing to clarify the issue, because they don't want customers to think about that possibility. But what I think they overlook is that, if they try to get us to re-purchase the same e-books in a different format, people will start removing the DRM from their legally purchased e-books and wonder why they're paying for them in the first place. Yes, readers have the ultimate trump card here, so long as we are able to download the files.
So I think we need a little more clarity from the publishers and retailers on the licensing vs. ownership thing. We give them our $9.99, and they can do whatever they want with it. It's theirs. What do we get in return? What rights do we have? What do we own, if anything? And what can we do with it 5 years from now? And if readers don't like the answers they get, I don't think publishers will like the readers' response.
So, how about a new e-book sale/licensing doctrine, one to replace the first sale doctrine from the print book world? OK, we can give up lending and re-selling, so long as we own the digital files and have the right to convert them into whatever formats we need, now or in the future. No copying, no pirating, just me reading the e-book I bought today 10 years from now. Sound fair?
I bet the big publishers wish they had been happy with $9.99.
As I mentioned in this post about the agency model, 5 of the "Big 6" publishers demanded that Amazon stop discounting e-books to $9.99, and insisted on controlling retail prices — immediately raising many new release e-book prices to $12.99 or $14.99.
Amazon argued that the agency model and those high prices were costing publishers sales, and I knew that readers would vote with their wallets, but for a while it appeared that publishers were doing OK with $12.99 e-books (although $14.99 pricing never really caught on). But a look at the current Amazon bestseller list shows that readers are voting with their wallets in a big way, and what they want is inexpensive e-books.
In fact, almost exactly half of the Kindle Top 100 consists of e-books that are $5 or less. (Additionally, there are several selling for about $5.50 that I'm not counting.) In fact, a quarter of the e-books on the bestseller list are $1 or less.
On top of that, the books at the very top of the list are skewed even more towards low-priced e-books than the whole list. Books $5 or less make up:
- 4 of the Top 5 (80%)
- 7 of the Top 10 (70%)
- 12 of the Top 20 (60%)
- 20 of the Top 40 (50%)
- 49 of the Top 100 (49%)
And, more than half of those books are very low-priced: $1 or less. Books $1 or less make up:
- 3 of the Top 20
- 9 of the Top 40
- 25 of the Top 100
And this does not include all the free e-books being downloaded on Amazon.
Further exacerbating the publishers' nightmare, a decent percentage of these e-books are by independent authors, including uber-indie Amanda Hocking, who has 3 e-books in the Top 12 and reached #2 overall in the Kindle store. She sells as many books in a day as I sold last year, and the big publishers didn't want her. But in 2011, it's the readers, not the publishers, who have the power.
Maybe, instead of fighting with Amazon over $9.99, publishers should have been happy that Amazon had ingrained $10 as a reasonable price point for e-books. Instead of thinking they could get even more, maybe they should have thanked Amazon for getting customers to pay that much for e-books that have no printing, shipping, or returns costs. Because now readers are demanding more and more low-priced and free e-books, and don't even feel guilty about it because they feel that publishers tried to take advantage of them with overpriced e-books, delayed releases, poor formatting, blocking lending, blocking text-to-speech, and invasive DRM. And now big publishers are being crowded out of the bestseller lists by independent authors, and are being forced to lower their own big-name titles to $5 just to compete with indie authors at $1 and $3.
I bet $9.99 is looking pretty good to them now.
I spend a lot of time reading forums related to e-books and e-readers, including the official forums at both Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I've seen countless posts by readers decrying (a) high e-book prices (the agency model and $14.99 e-books), (b) delayed e-book releases, (c) publishers blocking text-to-speech, (d) annoying DRM attached to e-books (and the incompatibilities that result), and (e) recently, publishers blocking the lending feature (which B&N has had for a while and Amazon just added).
In this new age of digital reading, readers DO have the power to help shape the new rules of the game. Readers control all the money spent on books, and that's always been the case. Publishers will try to raise prices, window releases (delaying e-books), block text-to-speech, block lending, institute DRM, and their new frontier will be trying to get us all to read online in the "cloud," which just allows them to lock down the content more effectively by preventing us from downloading a file.
But the thing to remember is that publishers can only get away with what readers allow them to get away with. Not all publishers are on the agency model (5 of the "Big 6" are, but Random House and smaller publishers are not). If readers refuse to buy books over a certain price, or with certain features blocked, or that do not allow us to download the file we've paid for, or whatever, then publishers will have to cave in and give readers what they want. We've already seen that readers generally wouldn't pay $14.99 for new releases, and publishers lowered them to $12.99, which enough people seem to be paying.
Readers DO have choices. There are a million books a year published in the U.S. alone, and most of them don't go through large publishers. Many books are sold for much lower prices, enable lending and text-to-speech, and don't have DRM attached. True, you might have to take a chance in finding some new authors and you might not love all the new authors you find, but it is a choice, and the choices that readers make now will shape the way e-books are read for decades to come.


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Mr. Newton In Paris – October, 2012
Hi – so many photos from Fashion Month to show you guys! Well, actually it was more than one month for me because I did Stockholm Fashion Week just before New York…so I have tons of awesome street style to post from Stockholm, New York, London, Milan, and Paris!
I thought I'd kick things off with a photo of me – hehe. That's me above wearing my authentic "bleu de travail" aka my authentic French work jacket aka "une veste de la Cunningham". Jacket purchased in Paris, July 2012…photo shot in Paris, October 2012. More soon… x


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Hosting a memorable house party is so much fun. You'll love the fact that your friends remember your party for years to come. If you like to plan things with your friends and ensure everybody is having an awesome time, you should think about hosting a house party. You don't want your house party to be anything less than memorable. You don't even need an occasion! Whether you want to have a crazy night or something more relaxed, you can use this guide. So, what can you do to make sure it's a hit with all of your friends? Let's take a look!
Start Planning it in Advance
For a memorable house party, you need to plan in advance. It would be great if we could all throw a memorable house party off the cuff, but it doesn't always work that way unfortunately! Occasionally you may be able to pull a last minute party out of the bag; some people do say that the unplanned nights are the best. That being said, planning never hurt anybody and you know you stand a better chance of success. Plan everything, from who you'll invite to how long you want it to go on for. The more thought you put into the planning process, the more successful it'll likely be. Why not grab a notebook and start writing down your plans in there? Think of everything you can possible think of that will contribute to your party! Just don't get too attached to certain ideas, just in case you can't make them come to fruition when you go out to buy and book things. You need to be flexible, and try to remain relaxed. You don't want to feel unable to enjoy your party on the day because you're worried about something going wrong. It's a good idea to make up a few beds just in case people stay over. You can even call cabs in advance to make sure everybody arrives home safely at the end of the night.
Invite the People You Love
Invite people you love to your house party. Good friends, family, and even people you'd like to get to know better. Make sure that everybody you invite will get along well, and that conversation won't dry up. Introduce people you feel will get along too. You might help a few people make new friends for life! Just make sure there's enough room for everybody.
Sign Post the House
Sign post your house for people who haven't been there before. It'll stop people from approaching you all night just to ask where the toilet is! It'll probably also stop somebody from being sick in the sink, or worse, the coat cupboard.
Come Up With Entertainment and Games Ideas
Having entertainment and games at a house party is a good way to keep spirits high and make sure everybody is having fun. There are so many party games you can play, including drinking games. However, it all depends on the kind of event you want to throw. You could hire entertainment, or make your own. You won't need too many games or entertainment ideas though. After all, people are pretty good at making their own entertainment!
Make a Playlist for the Night
Make a playlist to set the tone for your party. It's really easy to do this with the help of Spotify, iTunes, or even just YouTube. If you want everybody to get up and dance at some point, make sure you include tracks that are going to make them want to do that! If you want a fairly relaxed, classy night, include songs that will promote that. Your playlist can make all the difference to how the night turns out. Make sure it's as long as your party will be to avoid songs repeating after a while. Also, ensure that the mix of songs is eclectic to suit the people at the party. Everybody will have different tastes in music!
Stock Up on Food and Drink
You must stock up on food and drink to keep your guests happy. Running out will probably make your party a disaster, so ensure you have more than enough to keep everybody going. Have beverages for people who will want a drink and those who will want to stay sober. Come up with some cocktails/mocktails to make the night fun! Finger food is great, just make sure you present it nicely so it looks appealing to your guests. If you're only inviting a few people for a more intimate party, you could consider cooking a meal for them. It's up to you! If you're sticking to a strict budget, consider asking politely if they'll bring something to drink that everybody can share.
Checkout our Cocktail-directory to make that perfect drink for the night!
Set the Tone for the Night with Your Decor
Your decor can make a huge difference to the tone of the night. Depending on what you want the mood of the night to be, your decor will help you to set it. Make sure you purchase balloons, banners, buntings, and anything else that will help you make your house look like a party venue. You can get as creative as you like here. There are lots of tutorials you can look at to help you make it look awesome! Put in an effort and get everybody in the party spirit.
Get Creative and Theme it
Why not decide on a theme your house party? You can do any theme you want, from Bollywood stars to superheroes. What do you think your guests will enjoy most? Make sure you include this information when you send out your invites. Get people to dress up, bring props, and prepare themselves for a really good time. A theme always differentiates your house party from the rest and will make it stand out in your guest's minds!
There you have it; how to host a memorable house party! Whether you're planning a small get together with a few loved ones and a sit down meal, or a big event with lots of booze, these tips will work well for you. Don't forget to relax and have a good time yourself!


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