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Friday, July 22, 2011
Ask RC: We can't find a family integrated church, what should we do?
Second, one can always be a family integrated family, even without a family integrated church. I know of no church that requires its members to send their children to youth group, or to Sunday School. You can keep your family together even when others don't see the wisdom of doing so. You may have to miss Sunday School, or you could, graciously and kindly ask if your child or children might sit in on the adult Sunday School, or if you might sit in in theirs. You can always teach your family together at home before you go to join the saints in corporate worship on the Lord's Day morning.
Third, you can relax. Though I am confident that a family-integrated church is the best way to go, though I would love to see many churches go back to how the church operated over the centuries, I know in turn that there are plenty of family integrated churches that have far deeper problems than some non family integrated churches. I know that most non family integrated churches have far deeper problems than not being family integrated. We are bodies made up of sinners, and so we ought not be surprised when sin shows its ugly head in our corporate life. When it does, our first instinct ought to be to look for the log in our own eyes. The youth leader is likely not secretly seeking to seduce your children to the dark side. He wants to help. The octogenarian Sunday School teacher isn't the devil's handmaiden. She wants to help. The elders who created these programs, even if those programs have some overlap with a Darwinian understanding of education, are not a cabal of Darwinians. They want to help.
With all the cancer my family has been through I have had countless deeply caring people suggest countless alternative therapies. Though they might be right, my response is a sincere, "No thank you." I don't need to make them agree with me. I don't need to defeat their arguments or evidence. I don't need to have internet wars over their theories. I just pass on what they offer. Sometimes I read their information. Sometimes I don't. You certainly can feel free to talk to others about your commitment to keeping your family together. You can talk to your pastor and your elders about the issue. But if they don't hear you as loving, gracious, relaxed, and committed to the well being of the congregation, then you have a bigger problem than age segregation. You have a Hebrews 13:17 problem.:
Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief for that is unprofitable for you.
So back to step one. Repent, and believe the gospel.
42 comments:
- Daniel J. Mount said...
About twelve years ago, after attending a certain church for about a year with my family, we took the membership class. While Sunday School had been strongly encouraged, up until that point we hadn't understood it to be mandatory.
On the final week of the membership class, as we were to become members the following week, the church leadership pulled us aside and informed us that there was one more thing. As members of the church, it was now mandatory that the children be put in Sunday School.
Since we had already thought through our convictions on the issue, we said that we would continue to worship as a family. Over the next week or two, while they did not tell us to leave in so many words, they told us that our ongoing presence there would be divisive and made it clear that we were no longer welcome. So we regretfully left.
Thankfully, there aren't many churches like that, but yes, there are a few churches that require Sunday School participation.
- July 22, 2011 at 3:40 PM
You write - "I know of no church that requires its members to send their children to youth group, or to Sunday School." Sadly, as VISITORS we were turned away from entering a church sanctuary with our premature baby and other young children because children were not allowed in the sanctuary, but had four separate classrooms & a nursery they were required to attend where things were more on their "level".
We attempted to appeal as we had not worshiped together as a family for our four month separation while I, and then my baby daughter, were in the hospital stalling off a devestating premature birth and then she was growing from 2 lbs. 11 oz to 5 lbs. 5 oz and learning to breathe on her own.
It is a fellowship of churches that teaches this way, and we were turned away on the basis of it. I grieved in my spirit for the single mom whose children have been abused when she attempts to enter any of these Christian churches and is turned away. As I do not readily hand my children off to strangers, and my baby daughter was at risk and wasn't allowed to be around other babies until she turned 2, we were forced from God's house. I will not name the place publicly, but I would like to dissuade you from the notion that there are no rules against children in the sanctuary in any churches, and if you would like to write privately I would not mind providing you with the name of this church if you desire. It is not obscure and you will probably recognize it. I enjoyed the rest of your post as I do many of your writings.
- July 22, 2011 at 5:42 PM
- Stacy McDonald said...
Excellent article! I am so glad you're discussing the importance of being in a church, as imperfect as it may be, and avoiding what we like to call "Lone Ranger Christianity".
However, I will say that James and I, at one point, attended a church that would not allow young children in the sanctuary (it was televised). If by chance a family made it inside with their little ones, the pastor, from the pulpit, would say, "Ushers, wake up." And the ushers would descend on the poor, oblivious family and escort them out.
I recall, one of our last Sundays there, seeing an usher following behind a tearful young mom who was heading to the parking lot with her baby while an usher followed behind her trying to explain.
We were also told that our children were headed for rebellion for not allowing them to attend youth group.
- July 23, 2011 at 5:27 AM
- R.C. said...
Wow. So sorry to have my eyes opened further on this. It helps put in perspective the whole "divisive" claim, doesn't it, when they are the ones requiring us to submit to their tradition. I'm sorry for those experiences you all have had, but am grateful that many, many churches which are not self-consciously f-i-c, at least allow folks to follow their conscience while there.
- July 23, 2011 at 7:18 AM
- Troy said...
In our previous church after being a deacon for 1 1/2 yrs our 1st child entered the youth. We'd only homeschooled and she was coming home telling about inappropriate language and behavior over the next year. The youth pastor claimed that there was not a problem and the senior pastor was disconnected. Long story short. I removed my now 2 youth from Wed night youth group and had them join me and my wife in adult prayer. They/We were seen as a "white elephant in the room" and I was asked to step down as a deacon or return my children to the youth group. I agreed to step down at the end of the 2nd year during normal rotation on a 3 yr term. My wife had been reading "Uniting Church and Home" by Eric Wallace and a church friend recommend a local FIC where he attended a baptism. We have attended the FIC for 4 1/2 yrs and are learning how to live in peace with our Creator. We miss and love many people from our previous church and see them on occasion. I also regret the year+ my oldest daughter was in that particular youth group. Help us Lord to raise our children in a culture that wants to swallow them!
- July 23, 2011 at 10:24 AM
I am curious why you put Mormon "church" in quotations?
I am new here, from Raising Olives so don't know your stance on those not of your specific Christian sect.
I hope I am wrong and can continue to be a reader!
- August 1, 2011 at 7:00 AM
- R.C. said...
I put church in quotes because the Mormon church is not a church but a cult that denies the deity of Christ among other grievous errors. In short, I take the same view of the relationship between the church of Jesus Christ and the the latter day saints church that the latter day saints took for the first hundred years of their existence. I for one remember when they were honest enough to admit they weren't Christian and when Christians were smart enough to know it as well. You are, of course, welcome to read here, or at Raising Olives. Perhaps the Holy Spirit might give you life.
- August 1, 2011 at 7:07 AM
- MamaJ said...
We have also attended a church that told us our toddler wasn't welcome in the sanctuary. We were just starting to train him to sit in the church service and a member told us that we were 'supposed to let the Sunday School teachers do their job'. There were other factors, but we didn't stay at that church very long.
- August 1, 2011 at 8:57 AM
- Christine said...
I too have attended a Messianic congregation where the children were strongly discouraged from staying in the sanctuary, and the sabbath school was basically babysitting. We were only visiting, so I'm not sure if they would have allowed kids in the service if we had insisted.
- August 1, 2011 at 10:02 AM
Thanks for the clarification on your stance on other Christians. Perhaps, being a Christian, it would benefit you to learn the true doctrine of the LDS church prior to putting harsh labels such as "cult" or "not Christian" on us. (LDS.org and Mormon.org give a great representation of who we are!)
Jesus Christ is my Savior, Redeemer and King! Christ, the Holy Ghost and God are my light and life.
I will happily be reading at RO from now on...
Ashley (only anon due to no blog)
- August 1, 2011 at 1:11 PM
- R.C. said...
As I stated, LDS is not Christian, as they used to say. Can't see why you'd fault me for agreeing with your own fathers. I pray God would be pleased to bring you to repentance and saving faith in the atoning work of Jesus Christ, the second person of the Trinity. Then we could stand together, along with all other Christians.
- August 1, 2011 at 1:27 PM
- abba12 said...
As far as I know we don't have FIC's here in Australia, except for some catholic and high anglican churches which still keep children in the service.
In Australia it is much more accepted to have infants and babies in the service, no church I have attended would ever think of turning away a woman with a premmie baby in her arms. However, once they reach creche age (usually about 2.5) the pressure is on and people take it very personally if you do not send your children.
While our church is not FIC, the pastor keeps the children in the service once a month for 'generation sunday' so I suspect he already holds to this idea in some way. As such, I think we will be very fortunate to not have too much trouble keeping our children in the service, at least, not from the leadership.
Youth group is a whole other issue though! There is even more emphasis on youth group than there is on sunday school and creche at the moment, but, that's many years away, and things will change between now and then. We shall see how things are in another 10 years.
- August 1, 2011 at 2:38 PM
- Christina Anderson said...
Posting to leave a note of encouragement to those who are not surrounded by FIC churches --- we aren't either and we worship together as a family. We moved 2 years ago to a whole new area of our nation and the church search proved to be quiet overwhelming. Our hearts were being burdened/convicted for how we had always "done church" , and we new there were decisions to be made on how we would move forward from this point as a family.
We did make the firm decision to worship corporately as a family. We soon realized there were NOT many churches in our area at all that advertised themselves as FIC's. We did find , however, that there are some so bold to post on their website children under 11 are not allowed to enter their sanctuary. We didn't know how hard our journey may be, but we knew the convictions and obedient step we must take in this journey.
We visited churches with our children and yes, admittedly received some odd looks when we didn't leave our children in a separate worship service, but we knew God would provide. Sure enough, we are in a church family that has a completely separate children's worship service during our corporate worship time that we do not participate in --- but we do so with support from our church staff. You see, we learned long ago, most pastors do not mind you not "conforming" to everything that is "normal" in the church if you share with them your convictions and explain where you are coming from. The open conversation my husband had with our pastor about our decision to keep our children with us before we joined, I believe, comforted our pastor. It let him know that we weren't there to turn "their way of doing things" upside down, but instead we wanted to come in to this church family as a compliment to the churches work in the way we feel God has lead us scripturally to worship. We also had conversation with the children's worship pastor to communicate our convictions and decisions there. We have a great relationship there as well.
Our pastor knows we will answer honestly when asked why we keep our children with us, but he knows fully what that answer is and what our hearts are in that answer. He knows we aren't trying to be hateful or divisive. It has been hard at times to feel like we are "walking alone" in this journey - but we know God has provided and directed and walked along with us. He has given us opportunity to minister to many other families, he has drawn many to ask us why we worship this way, and we have had opportunity (with the pastors blessing) to start a group fellowship time during the week where several families from our church meet and eat with our children included in it all! There have been many families become interested in this way of "doing church". It has been encouraging to see God bless our obedience by allowing us to minister for Him in this area.
Clearly communicating with your church staff from the get go can ease a lot of unknowns for them and aide in you receiving blessing from them in this journey!
- August 4, 2011 at 7:11 AM
- Ginger said...
Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying this. We have personally seen so many come to our church and leave because we aren't family integrated enough. (We do offer a Desiring God class for children under 5 if their parents so choose.) These families never asked about our statement of faith or stayed long enough to realize that our pastor is unapologetic in preaching the gospel exactly as it is biblically (not "God has a wonderful plan for your life"). All they care about is that some families choose not to keep their littles in the sanctuary with them during the sermon. Family integration is important to us, but it is secondary to the biblical gospel.
I also agree with the others that there certainly are churches and plenty of them in our experience, who require children to attend children's church, where they will be "happier and have more fun". {eyeroll}
- August 7, 2011 at 5:07 AM
I appreciate this post. We also keep our kids with us in the service when everyone else lets their kids go to Sunday School. While we don't feel pressure from the Pastor to put the kids in Sunday School, it is very difficult for our kids to sit in the main service knowing that all of their peers get to go off to have "fun" while they must sit still and quiet (even though we've been doing this for nearly two years). Our children are young, ages 9,7,7, and 5 (we put our 3 year old and 1 year old in the nursery). We try to make sure their experience is positive. We cuddle, explain things to them, let them hold onto a small stuffed animal, look up verses in their Bibles, etc. but every Sunday it seems like they are unmotivated to go to church, and although we've explained why we worship together, and that others are free to do what they think is best for their families, they ask continually to attend Sunday School.
My husband cannot be with us every Sunday due to his work schedule. There are times when I feel like giving up! I don't want them to dislike church! The one FIC church near us does not even have a nursery, so I could not go to it. Any thoughts, or encouragement would be welcome! Thanks! Dyan
- August 14, 2011 at 8:56 PM
- R.C. said...
I understand your challenges. We have many of the same challenges. Our decision, however, has been to keep our children with us. If you are not already doing so, it might help if you practice family worship during the week. (Of course, whether it helps or not I'd encourage you to do this.) One, it helps children understand the importance of worship all through the week. Second, it helps them learn to sit still. And perhaps most important, it helps them learn to participate. Learn the service music, and the frequent hymns. The more they are able to participate on Sunday the less unhappy they will be to be there.
- August 15, 2011 at 6:29 AM
- DangAndBlast! said...
Of course, if it's your own, well-behaved children, that's one thing. If it's someone else's ill-behaved children, that's another. I had to move to the other side of the room last Sunday because the children behind me were chatting loudly and the parents were doing nothing to get them to quiet down, and I couldn't hear the sermon. We've also had children run up and start playing on the drums during prayers, while their parents had their eyes closed and didn't pay attention until the prayers were over. If you have excessively permissive parents in your congregation... Colicky screamers aren't conducive either...
(This from a church where nursery is an option, but not at all mandated; and where there's a large special-needs contingent, so it's actually pretty common to see a mother take out her (teenaged) mentally handicapped child who starts screaming uncontrollably (same child who often makes it through service just fine!), and not at all "not done" for at least some parents to know the difference between "we welcome anyone willing to participate in the service" and "if your child is uncontrolled and loud, the child's not getting anything from the service and is also driving away other people.")
(As a side note, one of my good friends often breastfeeds during the service - says it keeps the baby quiet!)
- August 21, 2011 at 6:41 AM
I appreciate your pastoral comments. Can you steer the NCFIC in that direction and away from their legalism that all systematic age-segregated training is evolutionary and sinful?
I wholeheartedly agree about corporate worship services being integrated. However, we have freedom in other discipleship opportunities to either age-segregate or integrate. I find much of the NCFIC "confession" to have very poor exegesis and scripture proofs.
Can NCFIC honestly say that having a children's catechism class is evolutionary or sinful?
Also, if confronted with a non-FIC reformed church and a FIC-independent/evangelical church, I fear many in the NCFIC "movement" would encourage attendance at the latter, making doctrine less important than the existence of age-segregated classes.
Finally, in FIC churches, do they ever teach on 'adult' topics like sex, money, etc? I think it'd be hard to have a Sunday school or Bible study with my 5 year old daughter, your teenage son, and anyone teaching about topics like those. So, do FIC churches just avoid those kinds of topics, or just not have any additional discipleship training outside of worship services?
I agree much of the youth/entertainment culture is a bad influence, but let's not completely discard training young people (as an elder, I'm called to be able to teach) ... instead let's reform HOW we do that.
In His service in Alaska,
- August 30, 2011 at 3:37 PM
Cricket, Just to be clear, I am not speaking for RC or this blog. I'm a reader just like you.
I'd like to address your issue of "adult" topics. I'm a pastor, father of four young sons, former youth pastor, and current FIC leaner. I've heard this "adult" topic concern before, and I'd like to offer something for us all to consider.
I resent driving by pornographic stores advertised as "adult" or seeing pornographic media labeled "adult" movies and "adult" books. The truth is they are evil. Sex and money aren't "adult" topics, they are topics, period. (I'm not equating your usage with theirs, only helping establish a point for later)
When Paul addressed these issues to the church in Corinth or Ephesus, the letter was read for the whole congregation (kids included) to hear.
My kids are all under 8 years of age, and we have had them tithing, saving, and learning about money since they could count, and began desiring things from the grocery store.
As far as sex is concerned. God created it. It's a critical element of his design for marriage. It's not icky. The world has perverted it, and the residue of the worlds distortion makes us hesitant to discuss it with our little one., But, at least in our home, when it comes up, it comes up.
We freely teach them about blood, saliva, breast feeding, organs, the eyes, etc. all to the glory of the Creator, why not sex?
Obviously, I'm not preaching on details of the marital union from the pulpit, but you better believe the members of the congregation will hear the teaching that same sex sexual behavior is not God's design. Where scripture is silent, I will be silent, but where it speaks, I will speak.
Our kids desperately need to hear the truth of God's design. Shoot, more than 15 years I ago my dad took a wrong turn and we found ourselves in the middle of a crowd of men engaged in open homosexual behavior (hand holding, kissing, etc) My point is, no matter how much we shelter our kids, they will see this stuff at the mall, at target, at Disney, even in the church. We have to teach them God's design, or we run the risk of them assuming sinful activity to be part of God's plan.
We cannot afford to be silent with the truth when culture is screaming their lies.
- August 31, 2011 at 7:45 AM
Pastor Sprague,
I really appreciate your words, and agree wholeheartedly with most of what you've said.
We must be talking with our children about all these things, true. So, maybe my point wasn't the best in that regard.
I guess I get worked up about the FIC movement for a couple of reasons:
1. They have about 90% very good words/thoughts/emphasis (discussion of children in worship, I completely agree). However, they then make that a mandatory, there-is-no-freedom/you-are-sinning-if every single church event is not age-integrated.
2. They have poor exegesis for their scripture proofs. I've noticed they've changed some of them recently ... do you think the NCFIC has notified all the churches that signed the "confession" of these changes, or have they published why they've changed them?
3. I know "freedom" in the Christian life and in church is thrown around WAY too much, but can this organization REALLY say ALL age-segregated training is based on evolutionary methods? Even if it were, does that mean it's not a good way to teach people?
4. The organization emphasizes Family Integration, at times, over doctrine. As RC Jr rightly pointed out, you can have FIC churches that are NOT gospel-preaching.
Wouldn't it be better to push for reform of age-segregated discipleship training, rather than rejecting it all outright?
Thanks for the interaction!
- August 31, 2011 at 10:17 AM
- The K. Family said...
I'm kinda late posting a comment :) We have been to churches where we have been asked to put our children in the nursery as we walked into the church. Now we have a wonderful family integrated church that we love! There's about 100 people on an average Sunday and we have no youth group, well, each family has their own youth group you might say. So don't dispair, there are some good family churches out there. Also, I have heard of some who ask the pastor if they can lead a family oriented sunday school class. Usually they are very well atteneded as many others feel the same way.
- February 18, 2012 at 3:40 PM
Our church (in Australia) has just recently become a family integrated church, a decision made by our pastor and the church eldership. Although it caused a few problems at the start, with a few families leaving, most of the church have welcomed it. We can already see the benefits of having our families worshipping together.
- April 28, 2012 at 5:54 AM
When we went out of state to visit family, we decided to go to a local Baptist church and asked if any of the kids wanted to go with us (they do not attend church).
Several of my nieces and nephews came with us and we all sat together and did not send the kids (ages 10 & 8) off to classes.
Well, that day the pastor was preaching in Mark and the text he discussed was cutting of your hand if it causes you to sin.
My 8-year-old niece because very upset and started crying and carrying on and I had to take her out of the sanctuary to calm her down.
There ARE things in the Bible that can be very upsetting to children. I think pastor's do need to keep this in mind.
- May 14, 2012 at 12:58 PM
I can speak from experience after spending three years on staff and serving in several ministries over the years. Our old church made the point of sending elders and/or deacons into the sanctuary to ask parents to remove their children from the service and put them in Sunday School or nursery. Also, when we moved to another state and our children were 10 and 13 they asked if they could sit with us in the service we said yes. After a few months we were accused of being divisive by not doing what all the other parents were doing and sending their children to Sunday School. Finally, I grew up as a Mormon and I can say first hand that we were taught to identify ourselves as Christian because it did give more legitimacy to our religion. Yet, the LDS church teaches a different gospel, a different christ, and a false view of heaven and salvation. I spent many, many years in the church and praise the Lord for His grace in saving me from that cult and forgiving me. Praise the Lord! We now attend a family integrated church but I will say that if you homeschool many, many churches go out of their way to attack those who are different in their family life from other Christians. There is a tendency among pastors to believe other pastors when it comes to condemning the practices of homeschoolers. I can totally understand why the puritans left England for America. Sometimes the attacks within the church against fellow believers is too much for any one family to endure. Granted the Puritans had to deal with a state who subjected them to prison but the jail sentence in some churches for homeschoolers who desire to attend church as a family can be quite cruel.
- May 14, 2012 at 1:06 PM
- Rhonda Devine said...
Thanks for this post. My husband and Steve Fuentes, along with their families, just planted a FIC last fall. Before that, our family attended traditional mega churches for 22 years--but we still were able to practice family integration while there. I will say it was not always understood and we were excluded from ministry at times because we weren't mainstream enough, but we were allowed to worship together and for that we were grateful. It is so important to be part of the body of Christ wherever God has you and be under the teaching of the Word, even if it's not ideally the kind of setting you would wish for. I'm so thankful for the importance my husband placed on being involved and connected to a local body of believers.
Blessings & Prayers,
Rhonda for the Devine family
- May 14, 2012 at 1:26 PM
I have a question regarding what makes a primary issue and a secondary issue. I am part of an independent fundamental baptist church which seems to be the closest doctrinally to my understanding of the scriptures. However, I am finding it very difficult to make disciples when homeschooling and any type of family integration is undermined from the leadership of the church. Some other choices of churches in my area include UMC churches with female pastors, Roman Catholic, and health and wealth pentecostal. Is there ever a time when you start from your own house apart from other churches and begin a new work with another family rather than being part of a church that you are at odds with?
Regarding primary and secondary issues: Is the sufficiency of scripture a primary or secondary issue? If someone holds to the sufficiency of scripture but comes to a different conclusion than me with a reasonable argument from the scriptures then I believe I could be in fellowship with them at a church. However,most of the time I have found that the sufficiency of scripture is a doctrine of convenience. For example,it is believed for tithing but not for male headship. Where are you drawing the line for where your family can worship? Are you suggesting that families stay at churches where they are not going to be able to make disciples of Christ because they are dishonored on a regular basis? I would like some wisdom on this issue because I think about it on a daily basis.
- May 14, 2012 at 4:52 PM
George, I can relate with your post. In Nov. 2007 I was happy to be living the life of a sinner. But on the 14th of that month the Lord reveled Himself to me. From that day forward I have been a very different man! I never attended church before or understood even the most basic things of religion. On that night of salvation I had an insatiable hunger for God's truth. I have come to find 98% of most church building attendees don't care about these very things you are talking about. And if you do bring anything up, you to end up the odd man out! Is this how you feel George? I want to find fellowship and fear putting my family I into most of these church buildings!
- May 14, 2012 at 9:30 PM
As far as the youth pastor "not secretly trying to seduce your child to the dark side," I know of at least two youth pastors sitting in jail for child molestation and another one would be there too if he had not committed suicide while the police were enroute to arrest him. Yes, there are youth pastors trying to seduce your children to the dark side, and I find no mention of a youth pastor in Scripture.
- May 15, 2012 at 11:29 AM
- Sandra said...
Back in 1976 my parents moved to a medium sized town in Northern Ohio where there was no Wisconsin Synod church, so they started a homechurch in our home. It was fairly easy, from my point of view. The pastor of the closest church (in Maumee) agreed to come after his regular Sunday service to preach to the half dozen families who met with us. It was a great lesson for me and my siblings as to the importance of one's theology (ultimately I got born again and forsook Lutheran theology.
- May 18, 2012 at 9:28 PM
- karen horton said...
i found this article to be discouraging. it's possibly easier said than done to just go to the nearest local church since you are not in that situation. it's a much bigger issue than made here. i have found that those in the Family Integrated take it for granted what a blessing it is. we have been without it for years, we've not had any local F.I churches where we live. we have suffered much in the regular busy churches......where reformed teaching is taught but it's taught more antinomian and emergent. there is a coldness and a deadness to these churches. women walk around almost naked and we are constantly asked why we don't do sunday school and all the programs. we are pretty much invisible and alone. we had to finally go to a mega church because the small churches would pretty much ask you to leave if you did not participate. one preacher said we would be too different for their church. i know F.I. churches are so picked on that maybe y'all feel lead to put it down but it really is the best. and it's o.k. to say that. we don't have to be politically correct or relative here. We can stand on Godly wisdom!!!!! when we travel to visit F.I. churches it's always way better than where we attend so much so the last few months we decided it was better to travel to attend where our conscience is free. we have been so much happier and fulfilled!!!!!! we are way more encouraged!!!!!! we only have one child, due to health reasons, so our child really needs to have other children who are being raised like him and heck we need need it. it's not an easy world to survive in alone. we weren't made to be alone! i don't see how this is an issue of repenting at all. i see it that clearly F.I is better and we do not need to apologize for it. and one more thing, home churches can have pastors and elders too. we are not catholic and have to attend a big building. i was disappointed in this advice. you have such power and influence.....while youth groups or sunday school have good intentions , i clearly agree with that statement.... the issue is what is right, what is the best maximum thing to do for one's family. i think Voddie's new book Family Shepard was so excellent!!!! 80-90% of children are leaving the faith.......that says a lot. the current system of church is not working, in fact it is failing. it is not what God intended for the church and we are seeing the fruit of that. even if i disagree with you we are big R.c jr. sproul fans and pray for you often!!!! blessings
Karen horton
- May 21, 2012 at 10:58 AM
- R.C. said...
I'm sorry you found this piece discouraging. I suppose I would to, if I had said what somehow you think I said. First, I'm not unsympathetic. I have been in a non-family integrated church for over two years now. Our family, however, remains a family integrated family. We are such because I believe in family integration. My piece was not designed in the least as an attack on family integrated churches. I spoke at the first two Uniting Church and Home Conferences. I am interviewed in Divided. I am close friends with Scott Brown. In short, I'm on your side. What concerns me is when people like us elevate fic to such a high position that they end up in otherwise awful churches, or worse, become lone rangers. (I also have no quarrel with churches that meet in homes. I'm preached in such churches before. My beef is with churches made up of unaccountable men, or non-churches disguised as churches.) Oh, and I love Voddie's book, and Voddie as well. In short, the question I answered was not, "Should I be in a family integrated church or not." My question that I was answering was, "What do I do if I can't find one near where I am?" Hope that clears things up, and thank you for graciously raising your concern.
- May 21, 2012 at 1:22 PM
- karen horton said...
R.C.,Thank you for writing back. I falsely assumed you were in a family integrated church. I was confused because you were one of the first introductions for us into F.I a couple of years ago. someone was telling us all about your stance on the family. and we read the book training up a child thereafter, that really encouraged us! we had come to many of those conclusions ourselves but had no idea F.I. existed. so that is where my assumption was that you were in one. i have OFTEN ironically, been envious imagining you all having that kind of church and support and thinking how alone we felt in the churches we have attended. so interesting that is not the case. i have imagined the persecuted in prison with no church. i do know it is not always possible to be in a F.I. church. my sister is bed bound and can not attend any church at this time. my health problems is the reason we need F.I. even more, i'm very isolated. i can't run around crazy busy in the typical local church. i'm just not able, but even if i were well, i wouldn't want that. so i really look forward to sundays and i want us to be together as a family. i'm very careful to not elevate it too much, most people have never even heard of it . what prompted me to write today, it still doesn't mean it's not better even if there is not one. and the youth teachers good intentions really got me. good intentions can be very dangerous if not guided by true wisdom. i'm so deeply saddened that F.I is so few. that we are just consumers in every way. that the family is so divided. and b.t.w. i've run into some not -so- great f.i. churches, i know people are not perfect, i know how deeply flawed i am, one of the worst for sure why i need family in the church oh so desperately! i did honestly raise the concern today from this article, wondering where the church will be if we continue to neglect the family, the headship of the husband etc, the role of the woman etc. the family is hurting so much in this culture. i want a better life for my son, not in the American way where he has a bigger house, a better job.i want him to have way more of Jesus than i did!!!! people travel for vacations, jobs, ball games etc. i think traveling for a better church is the best choice if possible. that was the answer we came up with after much prayer, when we can't find a local F.I. church. are we more Holy, no, are we more encouraged , Yes. are we a happier family, yes! just a good option to throw out there. it's that important to us. our best friends travel 2 1/2 hours for a F.I. church with 6 children, we thought they were CRAZY!!!!! we soon realized why they did it. and people think we are crazy now that we drive, not that far but still far. it's worth it, it really is. i pray this is for God's glory this long winded response!
- May 21, 2012 at 11:30 PM
I just wanted to say that in a small town we don't have a lot of options. One local church booted members for not putting their children in youth. They were considered divisive. We raised many eyebrows in the church by taking our children to adult sunday school instead of shipping them off as well. We might have stayed had the church board (*not* elders) had such a high degree of tolerance for a professing and very vocal preterist in it's midst. We are very short on options! We now drive an hour to a home church with about 11 families and 2 elders. I would call it Family Integrated, homeschool friendly, and pretty solid theologically compared to what we've seen and experienced. I wish we had a closer option, but we don't. It can be very disheartening. We're okay with being black sheep, as long as we aren't being back stabbed by the elders and leaders.(It happens) The controversy and heartache aren't worth it.
- May 22, 2012 at 4:23 PM
- Brian said...
Wow, I am praising God after reading these comments, that I have the church and the pastor that I have. We have several families, including my own, whose quivers are full, so to speak. Several families homeschool, including ours and the pastor's family. Perhaps that our congregation has only been around for a few years means that there hasn't been enough time to develop complacency-laden programs for people to get upset about. We're also situated in a community that's very heavily populated by military personnel. So there's always a constant revolving door of people coming and going. So a lot of the bickering or cliques, if there ever are any, don't really have a chance to get a foothold.
I found myself pretty upset that there are churches who would escort someone from the property if they refused to put their kids in Sunday school. Apparently, so many people have forgotten that church was never designed to be EXclusive, but rather, INclusive. That someone would be treated this way is a sure sign, if there ever was one, to find (or start) another church.
- June 11, 2012 at 1:40 PM
- Stewart said...
Thank you RC for this post. I am a pastor of a small church that is seeking to become more family integrated in our worship and I am so surprised that families will not be a part of our "institutional church" to come and help in the restoring of the family. We have been bringing kids in to join our worship and I have very few members that will help encourage families to stay together. All those with these bad experiences, I am sorry to hear. Go to the leaders and tell them. But dont bail on the local church. Thanks again for posting this
- June 13, 2012 at 7:35 AM
- Jewel said...
The Church is the Bride of Christ. She is the agent by which God entrusts His dearest treasure, the life giving message of His Son. True, the Bride may have muddied herself, but the dirt doesn't make her any less the Bride. As believers in Jesus Christ, we, note WE are still His body. Therefore, rather than abandon the church, have we tried to work through the issues?
Many leaving their comments thus far have mentioned their experiences. Our experiences do not mean we should throw the baby out with the bathwater. And we cannot assume our experience is the case for every church. We are part of a local body of believers not only to disciple and evangelize but also to conform us into the image of Christ. This polished image requires sanding, conflicts with one another where we learn to submit to one another rather than run away from the situation. Be part of the solution in the church rather than assuming we are too good for it. Our desire for control can cause us to resist the spiritual leaders over us. There can be no accountability if we simply roam from one church to another whenever we decide we don't like something.
If we surround ourselves with only those who agree with us,then we begin to believe false assumptions. Our beliefs are never tested or challenged. We become 'bubble' Christians. That said, we do need to agree wholeheartedly with the doctrinal statement of the church we attend. I am not referring to that, but rather to the secondaries, such as style, programs, and flavor of people.
Lastly, I will join the ranks of those who have shared their experiences and present my perspective. As a youth pastor's wife I have a discipleship ministry with young women, training them in godliness through Bible study. My biggest frustration is when the parents do not support the program. How can we come along side and help the teens if the parents refuse to let them participate? Mind you, the absences are often due to sports, band, drama, and even the obtaining of high grades. We worship activity and education. These extracurricular activities are religiously kept, but church is the last priority. And we wonder why our kids deem church as unimportant. If it is enjoyable and a priority to the parents the kids will follow suit.
I realize the argument that many purposely avoid being overly committed in order to have a home life that is sane. As a parent of two teenagers plus younger ones, I understand. But rather than fuss and fume about the programs of the church which from our perspective may divide families, (in actuality it might not be the case at all), why not go through the proper authority structure and present a solution rather than a complaint? Do some research and find out why the church has established certain expectations. There is usually a valid reason for what they are doing. In my case I asked my leaders to combine their Awana night with their middle school youth group night so that families could have an extra night at home. And they readily heeded the suggestion! Very peacefully they made the change.
However, I've learned that when the church frees up more nights for families to be together, most families do not use the free night for family, but rather fill it with some other activity. Our enemy is not the church. God forbid! The enemy is our own pride, the love affair we maintain with our idols, and the culture which WE have created. We must search our own hearts. How can we be salt and light in the world if we are isolating ourselves or fighting one another? All I can say is, Christ loves the Church and gave Himself up for her. Maybe we should do the same.
- August 30, 2012 at 11:40 AM
- Kyle Ball said...
Very helpful article and discussion! I literally just learned what a family integrated church is a couple months ago and it has left me hungry and seeking but instead of bailing on the church family we have known for 7 years I am being proactive to help our pastor and leadership question if there are ways that we can become more family integrated. I am very thankful for the openness they have shown. Keeping the children in for worship is a good first step and now I am helping to create a program (not all programs are bad) that is focused on equipping parents to take the lead of the discipleship of their children in the home. I believe that if the leadership support and teach this focus that it will transform our local church from the inside out.
- April 4, 2013 at 6:24 AM
Great article, RC. I greatly appreciate your emphasis upon the gospel!
- July 19, 2013 at 7:17 AM
People get asked to leave for not putting children in Sunday School because the whole structure is about conformity and control control structures. But not conformity to Christ or godliness!
How many churches dis-fellowship people for sin anymore?
- August 22, 2013 at 3:10 AM
- clanmc61 said...
Hi I know these posts are old but I just wanted let you know there is a group promoting FIC In Australia it's a yahoo group called "Australian Biblical Families and church" Would love to get in contact with Anonymous to find out about that FIC Church
- April 27, 2014 at 10:47 PM
- Dale said...
We the church, including the leadership and congregation, need to remember that our main focus is God and His Word, not ourselves.
- August 21, 2014 at 10:32 AM
When we first were saved, we attended a church with a kid's program. My preschooler did not want to be separated from us in the children's program, so he came with us to service. As we grew in God's Word, we felt more and more convicted about having our children with us in church, so I pulled out my younger children from the nursery.
At first, it wasn't a big issue, but when others began to do the same thing, I think the youth pastor found it threatening to his position. One family was made so uncomfortable that they left. I was publicly berated by the pastor's wife one day when I sat outside the service with a misbehaving child. On other occasions, the youth ministers would try to entice my children into the Kids' Church, speaking directly to them and not to me. One of my friends was publicly humiliated by an older woman who told her that her children didn't belong.
After a year, all of my children were fully trained to sit quietly in church with no disruptions -- and I was pregnant with my fourth. Many other families were at various stages of training their children. It does take time, particularly with new babies being born and new toddlers needing training just as the preschoolers are finally getting it!
Finally, we left the church. The last time we visited, they had a sign up in the service that said that children were only welcome until after the worship music was over.
I wish we had some family-integrated churches in our area, because this really does become a big issue.
One of my friends was even berated by a friend of the youth pastor's, saying that her family's stance was affecting his ability to make a living! Like supporting his livelihood is a good reason to give our responsibility to our children over to others.
- September 13, 2014 at 10:23 AM


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subset: commoncrawl


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Today Google has added another addition to their Maps service that should make all those New York readers plenty happy. If you've ever missed the subway or been late this should help you out. Google Maps has offered transit times and updates for months, but now you'll get real-time updates and alerts in New York City.
What this means is the Android app will now alert users headed towards the subways of delays, maintenance problems, as well as various other alerts and updates. You can check any of the more than 400 subways stations Google Maps now supports and you'll have full alerts.
Not only that but Google Maps will then use its navigation features to reroute those walking or seeking to travel by subway to alternate routes that don't have delays or late subway trains. New York City has one of the biggest subway systems here in the U.S and this was probably a big task, but Google's always up to a challenge it seems.
I've used Google Maps in the past while traveling to NY but I have a feeling this will make things much, much easier in the future. Google Maps has continued to evolve and get better and is one of the best apps from Google, that is for sure. With indoor mall support, travel and subway navigation, 3D maps, offline directions and more it really is impressive. Good luck Apple with your own option.
[via Google Blog]


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text:
I only took a couple days off from blogging last week but it felt like much longer! Though I am glad I did it and I am glad to be back. I wanted to take some time off for a few reasons one of those was my grandfathers service was last Thursday. It was really lovely, but as things like this go, it was emotional. Part of it was (here's the dear diary part) the fact that my biological father was there whom I have only met once in the last 36 years (last time i was 32 - he didn't see his family for about that many years either). I tried really hard not to think about him being there before the service, but in the back of my mind I was dreading this encounter and I knew if he approached me, if we talked, if he wanted to meet my kids, it would all hang on me and I knew I'd need some time to shake that off. I guess I should note, however nice he may be now, I just have no interest in him. He was the epitome of an absent parent: no phone calls, cards, or child support. He's been wanting to 'reconnect' since he moved back here from the east coast 5 years ago, and I don't, so I knew it would be uncomfortable, and, well, yep, it was. But other than that little personal side note it was an absolutely lovely event. My grandfather even had several former students come and a couple of them who spoke about how he was, and still is, the most influential person they have ever met and how he directly impacted the course of their lives. I can't begin say how wonderful it was to hear their stories.
My cold was not the best of timing (they never are) but after taking Friday to just give into it I moved along despite it. I went to a local sewing school for some "rehab"time on Saturday, which was lovely. It's so nice to work along side people. I forget how important that is sometimes (note to self). And after that, feeling all inspired and such, I finally finished sewing up the fabric for pillows that I have been working on in some form or another for the last year. It feels really good to have gotten that done. And I have more fabric I designed coming in the mail this week, hopefully I won't take so long this time. I also tried to get some prints made that I have also been working on for awhile (not nearly as long) but I need to find a different printing place and if I find one soon, I may even get this done in a timely matter.
All weekend it was brilliantly stormy. The top photos are from before the storm rolled in and we had a lovely show of big fluffy clouds in a colorful sky. The bottom photos are from the storm and aftermath. We had huge wind gusts and inches of rain and the city is filled with tree limbs and leaves. I love a good storm but I am hoping there's an end in sight from all this rain. It's seeming relentless. But at least I got to wear my new ankle boots before the rain started. How was your last weekend of September?


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Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Corner View: September
September is the best month in Salalah. The blanket of mist and drizzle of the summer has lifted, leaving the mountains beautifully green and covered with wild flowers. The temperature is in the upper 20s and the skies are pale blue, with just a hint of cloud. One thing, perhaps more than any other, that tells you autumn is arriving is the fact that the meadows are dotted with pairs of storks migrating southwards after nesting on the rooftops of Europe.
Please visit the other Corner View bloggers for their views of September:
jane, kim, ladybug-zen, ian, sunnymama, kyndale, samantha, karen, kristina, angelina, dorit, goldensunfamily, sophie, janet, nicki, ruth, mcgillicutty, desiree, di, travelingmama, aimee, bonnie, esti, sophie, cele, modsquad, caitlin, joyce, ani, couturecoucou, a day that is dessert, natsumi, epe, kaylovesvintage, trinsch, c.t.,jeannette, outi, schanett, ritva, dongdong, francesca, state of bliss, jennifer, dana, denise, cabrizette, bohemian girl, ruth, dianna, isabelle, amber, girl in the yellow shoes, mister e, janis, kari, jgy, jenna, skymring, elizabeth, audrey, allison, lise, cate, mon, victoria, crescent moon, erin, otli, amy, ida, caroline, lisa, dorte, kimmie, la lune dans le ciel, nicola, malo, vanessa, britta, virginia, april, rebecca, b, jenell, guusje, juanita, pamela, inna, daan, myrtille, cris , ibb, susi, jodi, lily, gillian, doobleh-vay
36 comments:
I love the storks! Thank you for these. They are beautiful.ReplyDelete
Sounds delightful. Love the storks.ReplyDelete
Waou !!! Welcome back on CV !!!ReplyDelete
The cycles of nature are so reassuring - thanks for sharing this spot with us Ian. WELCOME BACK!ReplyDelete
It certainly looks beautiful at this time of year! Love the shots. Welcome back!ReplyDelete
looks just great!ReplyDelete
storks i saw last summer in latvia, lithuania and poland- lots of them :)
happy september to you!
Aaah our storks flew to you!ReplyDelete
Have a great September!
Looks so beautiful ... and welcome back.ReplyDelete
PS: Your travel photos are great also!
Looking at your pictures it is difficult to imagine that you are in Oman ... so much green !!ReplyDelete
'covered with wildflowers' and 'dotted with pairs of storks' yes please !!! oh how i love a place like your corner !! and so green !! i know you'll enjoy the rest of your september !!ReplyDelete
Really lush and green looking and a view that stretches for miles. What more could you ask?ReplyDelete
it does sound like the best time of year. gorgeous photos ian. i love learning about your corner! besos-jane p.s. i think i recognize the last guy...ReplyDelete
That's great! Have a nice September!ReplyDelete
An amazing view! Sweet September...ReplyDelete
welcome back on corner view dear ian! i liked your words about bhutan and hope so much, that one day i'll travel to this magic kingdom. and hope that one day i'll travel around the world too. wish you a wonderful september and a lot of happiness*ReplyDelete
This is not what I pictured Oman to look like!ReplyDelete
Beautiful images and words, Ian!
september looks beautiful in Salalah!!!
great shots!!
Beautiful -- I'm so glad to be visiting again.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousSeptember 17, 2009 at 11:34 AM
It looks beautiful in Salalah, so green!ReplyDelete
Have a great September!
Hi Ian! Thanks for stopping by! Wish I could make pictures like you!ReplyDelete
I love The Aleph. I re-discovered Borges ( and reconciled with him!) years ago while assisting to a creative writing lab in Spanish. He was a complicated person; but a great writer. As for The Aleph, it is a fascinating short story about a mystic experience, about a revenge, ,and impossible love for a woman; most of this topics are frequent in his works, like "The Zair", or "Emma Zunz" also in "The Aleph" collection of short stories. I love especially "Emma Zunz".
A curiosity: The inspiration for The Aleph, was a caleidoscope, and the story was dedicated to the only woman he ever loved, the uruguaian writer Estela Canto.
It was a pleasure to share with you this post! Ciao
Salalah has so many faces...ReplyDelete
I have been away too long. Have to read the adventures you had during the last few months. Looking forward to read about Bhutan.
Have a great week in your beautiful part of the world,
♥ Jeannette
I love these shots. They make the storks look as regal as swans (note to the latter, please, do not get upset, you're still the theme of my favourite ballet). Yes, autumn is finally here! Yippee!ReplyDelete
Greetings from London.
It looks like a beautiful time in Salalah. I love the storks.ReplyDelete
Happy September.
What beautiful landscape! Hope you had a lovely summer!ReplyDelete
Happy September, Ian!
I agree with you Modsquad... beautiful landscape !! and i've never seen storks on the grass, just on the chimneys !!! Thanks !ReplyDelete
Great pictures. Love autumn. Only problem is it is followed by winter.ReplyDelete
oh wow, well exotic this corner view (well, for me, that is.)ReplyDelete
fab pics, all of them, not just this cv. I may have to spend hours scrolling down and tracing back all your visual adventures.
well-impressed by the land of the flying willy, I must admit.
la ninja (new-ish corner-viewer)
stunning pics ian!ReplyDelete
Recently my oldest son (age 7) asked THE QUESTION.. "Where do babies come from?"ReplyDelete
For a minute I seriously thought about blaming it on the STORKS.
Instead I replied, "It's a bit complicated. I'll explain when you're older."
To which he replied, "Just tell me now and I'll let you know whether I understand or not."
- AnonymousSeptember 19, 2009 at 4:46 AM
hey - i wonder if those are jane's storks!ReplyDelete
woow, these photos are gorgeous! I would love to visit there and see wild animals...ReplyDelete
Wow! It never stops amazing me that you have been to so many beautiful and adventurous places!ReplyDelete
Your blog is full of surprises! I never expect Oman to be so green!ReplyDelete
newly comer on the CV, I am discovering..you !! And your pictures are just amazing...from yhis side of the owrl, friendly hellos...ReplyDelete
those storks are cool. thanks for doing the cv and thank you for stopping by my blog. love seeing your travels.ReplyDelete
One of things I enjoy on my travels is getting close to wildlife. In Africa, I learned not to get too close to the crocodiles as they c...
ELIZABETES IELA 10b PASAJUL MACCA-VILACROSSE PART TWO - ART NOUVEAU Art Nouveau is older and very different in style to Art...
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The University of Arizona will honor the contributions of the women of tribal nations in Arizona on April 13 from 2-4 p.m. at the Women's Plaza of Honor, located next to Centennial Hall.
The effort to recognize Native American women began in 2007 with the formation of a committee including women from several tribal nationals. The committee contacted each tribe in Arizona to request that the tribal government identify women from their nation to honor on the arch.
Thanks to the efforts of this committee and the financial support of several tribal nations and other donors, the UA Women's Plaza of Honor now will house an arch dedicated to the impact of the Native American women.
The Women's Plaza of Honor publicly and permanently celebrates women who have made significant contributions to the history of Arizona or have enriched the lives of others. The plaza offers alumni, employees and students of the UA, members of the community and people everywhere the opportunity to commemorate outstanding women.
Each of the 22 federally recognized tribes in Arizona wanted to be included, agreed to participate and nominated women or a woman from their tribe to honor.
"Honorees on the arch have been chosen by each tribal government and reflect a wide range of women's contributions across many fields, including politics, public health, language and cultural preservation, traditional arts, education and family," said Leigh Spencer, program coordinator for the Women's Plaza of Honor and Women's Studies Advisory Council.
The Pascua Yaqui Tribe has chosen to honor the Maala Hiibwa'areom Cocineras, the women who cook for the tribe's Lenten and Easter celebrations, said Angela Storey, Women's Plaza of Honor and Woman's Studies Advisory Council research assistant.
"Tribal governments have honored women on the arch for many unique reasons. We are excited to be able to bring attention to the stories of these varied and exemplary Native American women."
The Yavapai-Prescott Indian Tribe has chosen to honor the first woman Chieftess, Viola "Sicatuva" Jimulla. Jimulla bridged the historical span from the early frontier days in Prescott to the present modern day. As leader of her tribe, she urged her people to withdraw their claim to land from the Fort Whipple military reservation with stipulations that the land be used for development of a college and a city park. The results are Yavapai College and Roughrider Park.
Jimulla is being honored for her political savvy, expertise as a basket weaver and her devout Christian faith, which led her to be sought as a mother confessor and as a financial and medical advisor to her people.
Dr. Patricia Nez Henderson is being honored by the Dine' (Navajo) tribe. A UA alumna, Henderson is the vice president for the Black Hills Center for American Indian Health, an American Indian nonprofit health organization located in South Dakota.
Henderson received her Bachelor of Science degree in Biochemistry from the UA and earned a Master of Public Health degree from Yale University. In 2000, Henderson became the first American Indian woman to graduate from the Yale University School of Medicine and was the first person to receive the Patricia Nez Award, an annual award given to recognize a Yale School of Medicine graduate committed to improving the health of American Indians.
Being honored by the Tohono O'odham Nation is council member and teacher Molly Garcia, who blazed a trail for others in an era where women, let alone Native women, were educated and earned degrees in education and political science in the early 1920s.
She taught for 20 years in California before returning to the community of Ge Oidag. Upon her return, she helped to build a community building and soon gained election to the traditionally all male Papago Tribal Council. While on the council, she worked to bring about the revised 1986 Constitution of the Tohono O'odham Nation while also working to preserve and protect the sacred sites of the O'odham people.
The ceremony will include a blessing song for honorees and speeches by Tohono O'odham Chairman Ned Norris, Jr., Arizona Board of Regents member LuAnn Leonard and UA President Eugene G. Sander.
Guests also will enjoy a musical performance by Gabriel Ayala. Light refreshments will be provided.


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The more capacity of early group day-care is established, the more parents ask for it. This correlation resembles "modern times"and it totally ignores the need of small children. Hardly anyone seems to take note of their misery.
Scientific results on the effects of early group day-care show how much small children in group day-care are put under toxic stress. The following article explains this phenomenon. It is connected with the details of brain development in the first two to three years of life. And it explains why early group day-care is connected with many risks.
The future of our children is our responsibility. Only when they grow to have a stable and prosocial personality they will have sufficient energy and creativity to master the future.
With fulfilling the basic evolutionary need for physical contact and deep emotional attachment our infants and toddlers grow up with the full potential for happiness. Children thrive on mutual time with their parents because they need care by adults who love them with all their heart.
Parents first priority is to raise children to their best potential for health and happiness. This aim can only be reached when we don´t have to submit parenting under economic principles.
Pediatrician Dr. Michael Hauch speaks against "therapism" of childhood
Are we a society of children found to be ill? Pediatrician and bestseller-author ("Childhood is not an illness") Dr. Michael Hauch says: Yes!
In Germany 44 percent of the boys and 31 percent of the girls get either physio-, ergo- or speach therapy before age 15. In 3 of 4 cases this was superfluous – and has even been of disadvantage for these children.
Hauch tours Germany with lectures against this trend of defining a narrow virtual standard of development and treat every child who does not fit in.
Every child is different! Children come up with surprising traits and they develop in non-linear ways. This should be needless to say but today seems to get forgotten. Children are put under supvervision and are integrated in projects for their optimisation. Parents have more choices, opportunities and at the same time more duties. Therefore it seems urgent to see to it that their children have a proper start and all choices. Every little delay in development has to be registered and fixed. Parents worries begin before even the pregnancy starts. Innumerous tests and screenings during childhood and youth are set up to guarantee a spotless career if possible.
"Top-Mountaineers need Basis Camps"(Bowlby)
Human development depends on the experience with the primary caregiver (mother, father, and, supplementary, any adult who loves the child). For the development of a coherent Self, authentic self-concept and healthy brain development children need an adult offering sensitive, reliable and coherent care. All later relationships will be based on these early experiences.
If early attachment is sufficient, then children develop empathy, social competence, sufficient conflict management, creativity, emotional strength and a solid positive attitude towards life. Attachment frustrations or disruptions during this early phase resemble a grave and lifelong risk for the physical and emotional mental health.
In the last decades the parent-child-relationship have come under stress, induced by accentuation of individualization, economic needs and demand for flexibility. Parents are put under gross stress, timewise and financially. To be able to cope we force parents to institutionalize their children too young and for too long hours. Thus we put children under grave health risk and bereave parents of their precious family time.
The Family, as the best basis for healthy child care conditions, is still very much wanted: 97% of all people denominate "family" as "most important" of their life spheres. 73% of teenagers and young adults wish for children and marital lifelong relationships as the best basis for the foundation of a new family. 83% of all 30-year-olds plan to stay with their spouses for the rest of their life.
The Foundation Initiative fights for a stable and healthy development for all children. We support the Institute for Attachment Sciences (www.institut-bindung.de/en/das-institut), we support family-focussed projects, we organize seminaries and edit a new Family-Magazine "Für uns" ("For us" - https://www.fuerkinder.org/webshop/fuer-uns-magazin).
Please join us! Please be a pro-child-acitivist in the same line with Wolfgang Bergmann, Barbara Wussow, Tamina Kallert, Prof. Ralph Dawirs, Steve Biddulph and Prof. Gordon Neufeld. Be a childrens´ambassador!
The ambassadors of the Foundation Initiative "Für Kinder" ("For Children") support all our aims and actions and share our belief that infants and toddlers have "an elemental need for nearness and emotional support by their parents" (Wolfgang Bergmann).
Barbara Wussow - German actress, nationwide known from cinema and TV, patron of the German Paediatric-Oncology-Follow-up-Hospital in Tannheim.
Angela Wiedl - for more than 20 years successful as an interpretor of German folk music.
Janette Rauch – German actress, since more than 20 years known for theater, movie and tv-roles.
Tamina Kallert – TV-Journalist and moderator of the tv magazine on travel "Wunderschön" in the WDR (Western Germany Broadcast), lives in Switzerland with her two children.
Jumana Mattukat – TV-Moderator and author with splendid engagement to let parents share her own daily family experiences.
Melanie Gill – Child psychologist and -therapeutist in Brighton, England. Founder of the Mindful Policy Group.
Dr. jur. utr. Albin Nees – Former head of the German Family Union and former secretary of state in the Saxonian Ministry for Social Affairs, Health, Youth and Family.
Janine Kunze – German actress and book author: "Gifted roots - Why I am not blood-related to my true family".
Ralph Herforth – German actor, father of 4 children, part-time career as real estate agent, specialized on idyllic houses in Greater Berlin.
Want to support the Foundation Initiative as ambassador or sponsor?
Please send a mail:Diese E-Mail-Adresse ist vor Spambots geschützt! Zur Anzeige muss JavaScript eingeschaltet sein! info(at)fuerkinder.org
Every child should have the chance to develop savely and soundly in his or her own way. Attachment and fundamental trust are indespensable basis for a healthy and prosper life. Our foundation sets priority to the fundamental needs of infants and toddlers, because that´s what we owe them.
The Foundation Initiative supports scientific research in the field of early childhood and development.
The Foundation Initiative works for more knowledge about and focus on the importance of parents. We are convinced that parents are inexchangeable and should be better supported by society in terms of time and money, so that they have a respectable life now and in retirement age.
The Foundation Initiative engages in data-based critical discussion in society, to bring the above stated conditions to the mind of people.
The Foundation Initiative works for more strength and pride of parents, who all should know about the family-work and the precious love of parents for their children.
The future of our children is our responsibility.
The members of our board are very renowned and have a life-long history of expertise in the field of childhood, education and development. They support the Foundation Inititiative with scientific background.
Prof. Gordon Neufeld has a history of more than 30 years of therapeutical work with families and is a world expert of the psychological and social function of attachment between parents and their children.
Prof. Ralph Dawirs is a neurobiologist and director of the scientific department of child and youth psychiatry in the university hospital of Erlangen.
Steve Biddulph is a family therapist and has worked with Australien families for more than 25 years. He also is the author of several world-wide known instructive books for parents on the topics of education and upbringing.


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Netanyahu: Demilitarize Palestine
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said the world is "not safe" if Iran is allowed to develop its nuclear program. While not directly calling out Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Netanyahu responded to Ahmadinejad's comments about Israel having no roots in Israel, saying "we will never be uprooted again." Netanyahu laid out what the "red line," saying it's getting "very, very late" to stop Iran. He insisted that "Iran will back down."


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Ducktrap Today
Ducktrap River of Maine is a leader in the smoked seafood industry. We keep our focus on being an industry leader by maintaining strict adherence to the highest standards of quality, consistency, service, and value.
Our full line of smoked seafood is produced all naturally with no artificial ingredients or preservatives. We continue to smoke in small batches and maintain an exacting Rabbinical standard.
Our Quality Control is not just a department, it's our entire facility – from the brine room to the shipping dock – over 130 Ducktrap employees make sure that you receive the best possible naturally smoked seafood.
Ducktrap continues to grow while staying true to our roots. The customer base that started with local shops and restaurants in Mid-coast Maine has grown to include a wide variety of seafood wholesalers, food distributors, retail chains, independent stores, restaurants and hotels across the U.S. and Canada.
We are part of Marine Harvest, the world's largest salmon farming company, enabling us to source a steady supply of the best seafood available. As a smokehouse located on the rocky coast of Maine, we provide our customers with high quality smoked seafood using a flavorful brine, natural wood smoke and fresh ocean air.
Ducktrap continues the tradition, since 1978, to "WOW our customers with quality, one bite at a time." We know that when you try our products, you will experience the Ducktrap difference. Enjoy!


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Today's post is sponsored by FLIPZ® Chocolate Covered Pretzels. Life is never boring with FLIPZ in the mix!
We take family time pretty seriously around here. From vacations and holidays, to weekends and even the time spent together each day after school. Any time our family is together is important time for us. One of our family's favorite ways to connect and unwind after a busy week is FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT!
We celebrate family movie night as often as we can, so we've gotten pretty good at it. There are a couple tried and true ways we've found to make family movie night awesome, so I thought we might share a few with you in hopes your family can establish an awesome family movie night tradition in your home as well.
Step 1. Save the Date
I'm pretty big on building things up and getting caught up in the anticipation of things. My kids have inherited this quirk of mine and I kind of love it. This way we can talk about family movie night all week and get more and more excited for all the things we're going to do together. By the time family movie night rolls around everyone is as excited as I am.
Step 2. Get Comfortable
It's not a family movie night, unless you're in your family movie night uniform. For us, that's cute & cuddly PJ's. They signify that we are winding down for the evening, getting comfortable and ready to lounge as a family.
Speaking of lounging ….
Step 3. Set the Stage
What's a family movie night without a bunch of comfy pillow and cuddly stuffed animals to lounge around on. We make a large pallet on the floor using blankets and quilts and bring our favorite pillows and stuffed animals from our bedrooms.
More often than not, the kids will crash on the floor or on the sleeper sofa in the living room after the movie so we might as well be prepared! Sometimes during the summer I even let them pitch their tents in here and we watch movies from inside in our sleeping bags. I miss summer … just a couple more weeks until winter break though.
Step 4. Don't forget the snacks!
Just like going to see a movie at the theater, you can't get the full experience without the popcorn and candy … besides, it makes it seem like more of a special treat! There's just something about the combination of salty and sweet that makes it that much more satisfying.
Most nights, I make popcorn on the stove using a bit of coconut oil and salt but as the temperatures get cooler and the holidays get closer … I step my snacks up a notch! The kids start asking for my "famous moose munch" not long after Halloween. It's a combination of popcorn (in this case drizzled with chocolate), FLIPZ® chocolate covered pretzels, corn chex and peppermint chocolate covered candies.
The combo is downright addicting, but I make a TON of it so we can give it out as gifts to friends and family each year. What we don't give away, we use for movie night! The limited edition holiday pretzels are our favorites! White chocolate candy cane snowflakes are a huge hit here, but this year I am on the hunt for their FLIPZ® Chocolate Mint pretzels! Think I'll surprise them with a little mint chocolate chip ice cream sundae bar for our next movie night, sprinkle a few of those bad boys on top. Daddy will love that!
Step 5. Take turns
We know a lot about taking turns in my family of 5, and family movie night is no exception. To make sure everyone is happy with the film selections we usually choose several titles as a family and then let the person whose turn it is decide which movie we will watch that night. Knowing it's your turn to choose the family movie is still a big deal around here.
Step 6. Make sure everyone is involved
I'm lucky that for the moment all of my children still love spending all their free time with me, but I realize that won't always be the case. By reinforcing that family movie night is something we all participate in, Mom and Dad included, we are setting the stage for how movie nights will be carried on as the kids get older. I imagine it won't be long before neighbor kids, close friends, maybe even girlfriends and boyfriends start taking up more of their time. And that will be ok with me, as long as they don't mind coming to the occasional movie night and I can still find ways to sneak in spending quality time together.
Step 7. Lights, Camera, Action!
A movie, isn't really a movie unless you are watching it in the dark! If you're not ready to go pitch black, turn off the overhead lights at least and use table lamps or fun lighting instead. We have a few of these solar lanterns that we LOVE, we set them around the kids pallet so they can still see their drinks and snacks and if anyone needs a bathroom break they can carry one with them.
If you REALLY want to up the awesome factor at your next movie night, consider one of these bliss lights. It's like watching a movie under the stars! Right in your own living room.
Here's a pic from the summer complete with solar lanterns, bliss lights, and tents in the living room
The most important rule to remember of all, is just to have fun with it! I'm all about making memories and I love the way family movie nights help me do just that.
Huge thanks to FLIPZ® for sponsoring today's post and helping make family movie nights more awesome. With all their fun flavors we'll never get bored and can keep switching up our movie night snacks to fit the theme and time of year.
Want to give FLIPZ® Limited Edition Milk Chocolate, Chocolate Mint and Candy Cane Snowflakes a try? Click here to find special offers.
Looking for a super simple gift idea to give a family you love for the holidays this year? Whip up a family movie night basket in no time, here's some inspiration to get you started!


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Cherish the good memories with this beautiful 3D printed photo frame!
The In-Spaces collection features stand out 3D printed photo frames that blend modern technology with nature. The complex process involves the development of algorithms that enable the transfer of the magnolia tree to be printed, creating a textured aesthetic.
Our range of intricately printed photo frames are the perfect contemporary edition to your mantle-piece.
This photo frame would also make a great innovative gift to your beloved ones.
The frame is made from nylon.
17cm (w) x 7.6cm (d) x 21.5cm (h)
Photo size: 4" x 6" (10cm x 15cm)
Shipping methods:
|Estimated delivery
|UK delivery
|3 - 5 days


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'Her genetic condition rendered her skin extremely vulnerable to the light produced by the Sun. She was forced to live under the shade of a protective umbrella, a constant accessory that kept out damaging rays and also the world. She was ridiculed and shunned for both her affliction and the ever-present umbrella. Rejected by society, she began to talk to herself - at first inaudible mumbles, then vocal conversations - and her umbrella began to respond.
When she was informed that her condition had miraculously been cured, she was mistrustful. She continued to live under her umbrella, and instead of merely responding to her rantings, the synthetic canopy now incessantly whispered judgements and condemnations about those around her. Its words grabbed and tugged at her sanity, stripping her of her ability to approach the world.
She became a recluse, a servant to the biddings of the umbrella, her lifelong companion, unwavering protector, and sole confidant." -M.D.Walter


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Cassell bought out; next stop Boston?
By Marc J. Spears Globe Staff / February 29, 2008
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The first step toward veteran point guard Sam Cassell becoming a Celtic took place yesterday. (Full article: 435 words)
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