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How To Properly Market During The COVID-19 Crisis
Opinion: Don't stop posting on social media...just do it in a helpful way.
GPS vehicle tracking is perhaps one of the greatest technology inventions the limousine industry has seen so far. More than just a mapping tool, it provides a wealth of fleet management information that was not previously available.
Let's face it, once a chauffeur leaves your premises, he is in control of your vehicle until he returns, unless of course you have remote engine disabling or speed governing control. Those two features can quickly get a driver to call you or help reclaim your vehicle if it is stolen.
The biggest advantage with GPS is the all information it generates in real time. That saves time and money. Here are some things to look for on reports and maximize your vehicle and GPS investments.
Using the reports can help you from unwittingly flushing money down the drain. If you are not consistently reviewing your reports, you are not using the available tools. The drains include the theft of time, the theft of gas/mileage, and abusive driving resulting in excessive wear and tear on cars and unnecessary repairs.
Jerry Thomas of Prime Time Limousines and Sedans in Sanford, N.C. shared one such story: "When I first installed the GPS devices in my cars, I found out real quick that I had a chauffeur who was padding his own pocket on overtime charges. Within a week's time, he had made over $500." Thomas said he believed the driver was a good, honest guy that he would never have to worry about. "Just goes to show that you really can't trust anyone these days," Thomas says.
Time theft
The top stolen asset in your company involves time. If a chauffeur is using your car without permission, chances are he is picking up a few "side jobs" or extending paying runs for cash at a discounted rate. Remember, he is the guy providing the party, and a bond develops during the night of drinking. When the paid time runs out, it is not uncommon for passengers to ask if they can keep the car longer and pay the chauffeur in cash.
Brandon Kroll from Party Bus Detroit says, "I believe every GPS unit pays for itself multiple times over just for (client time) overages and wages. I tell all chauffeurs that vehicles are equipped with GPS and it forces them to be honest and not take the temptation of clocking out 30 minutes later or letting a client go over for a $20 tip."
Using your GPS "bread crumb" tracking reports can give you a complete history of where the car has been since the first time the ignition was turned on during the day. You can match the locations and times to your trip tickets to determine if the vehicle was used for unauthorized activity while paying your employee for the time he was actually engaged in service.
For chauffeurs starting from home, this system will help keep you in wage compliance by documenting the actual time it took from when a chauffeur began driving to the pickup location until the job was finished. Kroll also pointed out that when you drop your vehicle off at a repair shop, you can track what they did with your vehicle. When the ignition fires up, you know in theory that repairs are underway so you don't get stuck paying a mechanic four hours of labor on a one-hour job.
Unfair client claims
Overall, GPS has given operators a powerful tool in the billable-hours arena. What limo company has not had the jovial "big man on campus" drunk that extended his time two hours while boozing away only to call a few days later and dispute the charges on his credit card for the extra two hours?
In the past we often had to relent on overtime charges because we had no clear way to document other than the client's signature on a contract. GPS offers proof-positive about what really happened and when it happened.
Jess Sandu, vice president of operations for A&A Limousine Services of Seattle, had a passenger recently who claimed to his cargo plane company that the chauffeur dropped him off at the hotel so late that he could not fly a Boeing 747 cargo plane the next day. Not only could A&A have been forced to refund the trip in the interest of saving its contract, it could have lost the contract completely.
"I immediately went to the GPS tracking software and printed out the entire route map from the pickup time at the airport to the hotel drop off and emailed it to the company. This saved me from losing a good contract," Sandu says. "Although I have never experienced this, I have been told how other limo companies have used this GPS to back up their credit card charges for any overage time on limos when they are disputed by clients."
Kroll also has had clients claim their chauffeurs got lost and therefore they should not have to pay for the additional time. This is another frequent issue that arises in the chauffeured transportation industry when in reality the chauffeur may have taken a different route than the passenger would have selected but was never lost.
Wasted fuel, environmental pollution, wear and tear
Much fuel gets wasted in the limousine industry because of the nature of the business. Yet it can be controlled and reduced through policy and regular reviews of GPS reports showing excessive and wasteful idling, "lead-foot" drivers gulping up more fuel than needed, or sudden stops that wear out the brake pads. In some regions such as the West Coast, air pollution is a serious matter. Idling vehicles cause unnecessary noise and air pollution.
Also, while having chauffeurs drive your vehicle for personal use such as a trip to the bank or pharmacy may not seem like a big deal, when you have a fleet of 10 vehicles with 10 "side trips" a week, the fuel costs can quickly add up.
One solution is to set up geo-fencing to monitor vehicle use in live mode or through report reviews. In live mode, you receive a text message alerting you that a vehicle traveled outside of a pre-approved area. It may not be an issue because it may be at a client's request. Or is it? By defining an acceptable area for the vehicle before a trip, a geo-fence will indicate if the vehicle went through the fence. If so, it can examine where the vehicle went and if there was a passenger inside.
Kroll uses the speed alert function of his GPS system to notify him anytime a vehicle exceeds 60 mph. While the legal highway limit is 70 mph, Kroll believes that driving at slower speeds reduces fuel consumption and provides a safer ride.
Adds Sandu, "GPS tracking is a great tool for monitoring activities like speeding or excessive idling that can not only save fuel, but reduce damage done to the engine, brakes and tires."
Related Topics: chauffeur behavior, fleet tracking, GPS, GPS Fleet Tracking, GPS Navigation, How To, managing chauffeurs, technology, vehicle technology
Fabulous article, Jim! I might be a bit subjective, though, because each of the companies profiled in your article use our GPS Fleet Tracking system :) All three of those gentleman are great indviduals and we value our relationship with them!! Drew Sheahan Virtual Fleet Supervisor www.VirtualFleetSupervisor.com
Opinion: Don't stop posting on social media...just do it in a helpful way.
Nick Kokas spoke at the 2019 LCT East Show about how operators can remain competitive in the digital realm.
GNet is expanding its access to online tools and customized farming opportunities with their latest ventures.
The TNC's driverless vehicle is making a reappearance on public roads.
How sweeping changes in fleets, regulations, technology, and pricing will transform ground transportation.
Learn how tech can improve a business' emotional intelligence and, therefore, the overall customer experience.
2018 and 2019 were reality checks for driverless technology.
Stephanie Carnes of The LMC Groups outlined how to excel with digital marketing during a recent GGTI webinar.
A panel at LCT East hosted by operator Nick Kokas explored possibilities industry tech providers are working toward making a reality.
Every aspect of a ground transportation operation can be tracked with numbers and trends. But how do you apply all that information to profitable ends?
The company has been developing its Next-Gen-D-Series with a new battery-electric option and telematics while slashing operating costs and enhancing luxury.
Instances such as reckless driving, taking detours for personal work, and ferrying unknown passengers for quick money do occur.
The fleet-centric technology company expands its portfolio with an advanced field service solution.
JAN/FEB LCT Cover Story: The Los Angeles operation creates a bold luxury service model that pursues a progressive edge while promoting a cleaner environment.
JAN/FEB Editor's Edge: The ideas behind these industry suppliers will help define luxury ground transportation in coming years.
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It was not easy to imagine that Minecraft it would become a very useful tool when selling a technology like ray tracing, so fashionable since Nvidia launched the series of graphics cards RTX and also now that we know that PS5 will be compatible with this graphics technology.
With the mod created by Sonic Ether the team from Digital Foundry shows how the world of Minecraft with textures of high resolution, various visual improvements and, above all, applying ray tracing to achieve a lighting of the future.
The technology used in this mod has been called "path tracing" by its creator, who also points out that it is not incorrect to call it a "ray tracing". The result certainly makes us question whether Minecraft will die some day, because if your visual aspect was what made you think that he had already aged, you're going to have to think of another excuse to stop playing.
You can follow the work of Sonic Ether on his Patreon, where thousands of people will help to continue with this amazing work through donations several.

subset: commoncrawl


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It's Always Sunny star Rob McElhenney was as soon as hooked up to helm a Minecraft film for Warner Brothers. The imaginative and prescient he had as soon as wooed Warner Brothers executives, sufficient for them to earmark $150 million for the challenge. One factor led to a different and the McElhenney's model of the challenge ultimately died and now, the actor is talking out on his model of the flick.- Advertisement -
Speaking with MTV News' Josh Horowitz on his HappySadConfused podcast, McElhenney stated he was lastly comfy to speak about it as a result of "f-ck them [Warner Bros] at this point." According to the actor, every part fell aside when Toby Emmerich ultimately changed Greg Silverman has the chief for Warner Brothers movie output. At one level the challenge even had Steve Carrell hooked up to it and ultimately, Warner Brothers changed the actor with Peter Sollett.
"I believed one of the best property to Minecraft was they did not have a set narrative. It was an open world expertise," McElhenney stated on the podcast. "All you were essentially give was the building blocks to do whatever you want. I thought, what an amazing tool, much like Legos except now you're talking about infinite possibilities because it's digital, to give to kids–and not just kids, but any person who feels powerless. Kids mostly feel powerless; all day long they're being told what to do, how to dress, do your homework, go to bed."
He added, "I felt like that could extend to other people. I think everybody feels marginalized to an extent. Your boss is telling you what to do all day long, or your spouse is. You just feel like you don't have this sense of agency over your own life. The game gave you that, and I thought that's a really profound experience."
As of final June, Sollet's model of the film was set for launch on March 5, 2022. A logline for the present iteration may be discovered under.
"The malevolent Ender Dragon sets out on a path of destruction, prompting a young girl and her group of unlikely adventurers to set out to save the Overworld."
Did you recognize ComicBook.com has a Pokemon podcast? That's proper people, A Wild Podcast Has Appeared is out there each Thursday bringing you one of the best breakdowns of the week's greatest information from Jim Viscardi, Megan Peters & Christian Hoffer. Catch the most recent episode proper right here or subscribe on iTunes right this moment!


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Tommy Kirk Biography
Birthday: 1941-12-10
Place of Birth: Louisville, Kentucky USA
Height: 5' 9" (1.75 m)
Wiki Biography: Scrappy Tommy Kirk was born in 1941 and at 13 years old when he was discovered by talent agents in a production of Eugene O'Neill's "Ah, Wilderness!" at the Pasadena Playhouse. The freshly-scrubbed All-American kid was swiftly brought to the attention of Walt Disney who signed him to a long-term contract. In 1955, he joined "The Mickey Mouse Club" (1955) TV series and won a legion of young fans as the irrepressibly inquisitive teen sleuth Joe Hardy in the "Hardy Boys" serial with Tim Considine, another young Disney staple, playing his brother Frank. Tommy became a prime juvenile hero and ideal mischief maker for many of Disney's wholesome full-length classics including Old Yeller (1957), The Shaggy Dog (1959), Swiss Family Robinson (1960), The AbsentMinded Professor (1961), Babes in Toyland (1961) and The Misadventures of Merlin Jones (1964). However, in 1964 the Disney factory found out Tommy was gay and they immediately released him from his contract after finishing The Monkey's Uncle (1965). Tommy still pursued teen-oriented movies but was essentially blacklisted from the industry and deemed "box office poison." The offers he did receive became progressively more dismal. From mediocre fun-in-the-sand fluff like Pajama Party (1964) and It's a Bikini World (1967) to utter fiascoes like Mars Needs Women (1967) (TV) in which he played a Martian, and Blood of Ghastly Horror (1972), Tommy's career went into an irreversible tailspin. Depressed and angry, he sought solace in drugs and nearly died from an overdose at one point. For health reasons he completely abandoned his career and slowly moved forward as a recovering addict. He put together a successful carpet and upholstery cleaning business which has run steadily for well over two decades. As recently as 2001, Tommy showed up again in Hollywood--glimpsed in a few low-budgeters here and there--but a full-time commitment to acting is quite unlikely.
Tommy KirkPhotos & Pictures
|Movies Title
|Appeared As
|Catalina Caper
|Old Yeller
|Travis Coates
|0, 0, Fantasy
|Swiss Family Robinson
|Ernst Robinson
|Adventure, Family
|The Absent-Minded Professor
|Bill Hawk
|Moon Pilot
|Family, Comedy, Sci Fi
|Son of Flubber
|Biff Hawk
|0, 0, Biography
|Savage Sam
|Travis Coates
|Family, Adventure
|The Misadventures of Merlin Jones
|Merlin Jones
|Family, Comedy, Sci Fi
|Pajama Party
|Go Go
|Comedy, Musical, Romance
|Village of the Giants
|Comedy, Sci Fi
|The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini
|Chuck Phillips
|0, Reality Tv
|Mars Needs Women
|Blood of Ghastly Horror
|Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold
|Little Miss Magic
|Mr. Kenner
|Comedy, Family, Fantasy


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Kakeibo Will Teach You the Clever Japanese Method of Managing and Saving Money
Experts say the method can help cut spending by up to 35 percent.
Count on the Japanese to come up with effective methods to not just declutter your life but also to manage your spending. Kakeibo, a Japanese way of saving money, which has been used in Japan for more than a hundred years, is being introduced to the rest of the world with the publication of Kakeibo: The Japanese Art of Saving Money, the world's first English-language kakeibo budgeting journal.
In Japan, magazines aimed at housewives usually give away a supplement kakeibo before the year ends. They aim to help the women, who are usually in charge of managing household finances in a typical Japanese home, plan their year.
The budgeting journal has pages for monthly, weekly, and yearly notes.
At the beginning of each month, the owner of the journal will be asked to do the following: 1) write down their income and subtract fixed expenses (like rent and utilities) from it, 2) deduct the amount they would like to save from what's left of their income (20% of the income is recommended by experts), 3) record your expenses with the goal to use only the amount that is left after fixed expenses and savings have been accounted for, and 4) reflect on your spending and see if you were able to stick to your saving goals.
According to the journal description:
The premise is simple: at the beginning of each month you sit down with your kakeibo and think mindfully about how much you would like to save and what you will need to do in order to reach your goal. The kakeibo then gives you space to jot down your weekly spending and reflecting on the month just gone. The simple act of completing your kakeibo ensures that saving is a part of your everyday life, while also giving you the opportunity to reflect and improve every month."
Using the kakeibo method is more than just recording and planning household finances.
It also relies on the journal owner's reflection and decisions in order to manage and save their money better. Household finance managers are encouraged to study their spending patterns and see what they can change in order to have a healthier financial life.
The kakeibo journal was popularized by Motoko Hani, Japan's first female journalist, back in 1904.
The journal is filled with beautifully designed pages, as well as inspirational Japanese proverbs to really inspire its owner to stay on track and achieve their financial goals.
Disturbing Video Shows Caregiver Slapping 78-Year-Old Dementia Patient
The family installed a hidden camera and captured the distressing footage.
What's the main duty of a caregiver? Well, that's really easy to tell because the job title already implies the person's responsibilities – which is to provide care in general. This is the biggest reason why it gets really disappointing and disturbing when someone who has been hired to take care of someone ends up abusing the person instead.
This is exactly the case for one family who ended up discovering that a carer is actually slapping their dementia-stricken mother and they found out about it after leaving a hidden camera in their home in Kettering, Northamptonshire in England.
Caught on film: 46-year-old caregiver Stacey George repeatedly smacked Sabina Marsden, 78, while the family was away.
Best Friends Who Earn $2,000 A Day From Bitcoin Say It's Not Yet Too Late To Invest
They're even planning to move to Thailand and start a business there.
Cryptocurrency has become the latest popular investment method the past few years with people already making millions out of it. Despite some experts warning that it's a bad investment there are still people who truly believe in its potential. Among them are two best friends, also called "Bondi bitcoin brothers," who want to let the world know that it's not too late to invest in cryptocurrencies.
Daniel Colosi, 31, and Stephen Lenoci, 34, first joined the world of Bitcoin trading just a few months ago with about $5,000. But with how things are going, they say that they'll likely become millionaires by the end of 2018.
Colosi was inspired to join Bitcoin trading aftter a meeting with a cryptocurrency millionaire friend.
9 Telltale Signs Your Body Is Not Digesting Meat Properly
Remember: Prevention is always better than cure.
For most of us, eating steaks and hamburgers, among others, is a tough thing to resist. And this is despite the fact that we are aware of the consequences of consuming too much of this food. Apparently, meat contains a large number of natural chemical toxins and saturated fat that can make digestion difficult. Hence overeating it can lead to some serious consequences in the future.
We have compiled the telltale signs that your digestive system is not processing meat very well. Take note of them and, as much as possible, reconsider your current diet. Scroll down below!
#9. Constipation
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I will teach anyone from middle school, high school and first years of university level. When I teach I want to make sure that the basics are understood first and that each student improves his problem solving skills and how to tackle them.
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Fort Bend County Land Market Overview
The Upper Gulf Coast is generally used to refer to the Houston area and its surrounding counties, with a distinct climate and demography from the coastal counties of East and South Texas. There was a total of $210 million of land for sale in Fort Bend County recently on Lands of America. The total acreage of all Fort Bend County land for sale was approximately 10,000 acres. Fort Bend County ranks 139th out of 254 counties in the Lone Star State for the total acreage of land currently advertised for sale. Richmond featured the most land for sale. Fort Bend County is the 181st biggest county (885 square miles) in Texas. It's located in the Houston Texas region of the state.
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That configuration reduces total passenger capacity by one but improves the spacious and luxurious feel. The Mercedes gets the edge because of its stronger engines and nimbler handling. Its roomy cabin is adorned with premium materials, and it has two energetic engine options. Few sources are speculating the new generation is on the way, but this is less likely to happen. The company hid most of the cabin, but this clearly shows we can expect big changes. In some states, aftermarket trailer brakes are required.Next
Standard safety features include a driver condition monitor, blind spot monitoring, crosswind assist, automatic high-beam headlights, rain-sensing windshield wipers, a surround-view parking camera system, forward collision warning, automatic emergency braking, and automatic park assist. Assist and warning features are another step towards the autonomous drive. All opinions are owner-generated and come from surveys filled out by people who have purchased this specific make and model. Each dealer sets its own pricing. Now, it learns drivers habits and helps with controls.Next
New infotainment system and commands between front chairs will get the fresh look and appearance. The softer lines also don't take away from its imposing looks. Most adults will be fine in the third row for shorter trips. Its outstanding performance rivals the best in the segment, largely because of its muscular engines, serene ride, composed handling, and great fuel economy. Check out comments from some of the reviews that drive our rankings and analysis. Special and unique equipment is making their products distinctive and recognizable. Whatsoever, enthusiasts are claiming the new model is not going to change too much outside, but inside.Next
Everything it adds is specific to the second row: wireless device charging, a 7-inch tablet for controlling the infotainment system, and side-impact air bags. It has a curb weight of 5,701 pounds. We listen carefully rumors swirling around this model since there is news about the diesel engine. The company presented changes at the Auto Show in New York. A nine-speed automatic transmission comes standard. Available active driver aids include a following distance indicator, adaptive cruise control, lane keep assist, lane change assist, a head-up display, and stop-and-go adaptive cruise control. It also has one of the best infotainment systems in the business and gives passengers a quiet and comfortable ride.Next
But take a closer look and you'll notice the lack of character lines and the disappearance of the upward kink on the rearmost side windows. Inside it is also loaded with practicality with electrically motorised seats through all 3 rows, a rear seat tabled for controlling the infotainment and much, much more. You can reserve yours today by contacting our team here at Mercedes-Benz of Gilbert. Consumers Union collects a fee from TrueCar in connection with the Service. Proximity keyless entry, remote start, dual-zone automatic climate control, heated front seats, a sunroof, alloy wheels, and a power liftgate are also standard. Mercedes says this is the only such system on the market.Next
Three seats are standard for the middle row. A 12-inch touchscreen display is the center of the control panel. The new nine-speed automatic transmission is probably the highlight of the entire drive system. The infotainment system works fairly well, but it takes some to master its many controls. Their technology is not too advanced, but the German carmaker always launches features that will bring peace of mind. One of the secrets of success is an excellent organization.Next
The dashboard design and materials are sophisticated and upscale. Six drive modes Comfort, Sport, Sport+, Individual, Trail, and Sand alter various vehicle parameters to improve performance or off-road ability depending on setting. A lot of equipment is also an advantage. This is a good place to start. These systems require upgrades every few months, and sometimes weeks.Next


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- Description
DescriptionThe HYM3200E is a versatile budget corded electric lawnmower from Hyundai. Fitted with a 10 metre long reach power cable with 13amp 3 pin UK plug the HYM3200E is the ideal electric lawnmower for small sized gardens. The HYM3200E electric mower is powered by a 1000w maintenance-free, brushed motor. With a cutting width of 320mm, The HYM3200E is ideal for small lawns the HYM3200E. Featuring a quick release 25L grass catcher with a hard lid the handy grass collector ensures you'll spend less time emptying the cuttings and more time mowing. Changing the cutting height could not be easier, simply adjust the rear wheels using the 3 position single axle adjuster, with 3 cutting heights ranging from 25mm, 45mm & 65mm the HYM3200E puts you in control over the finish of your lawn. Operating this mower is a breeze too, simply press the safety button and pull back the Operator Presence Control lever and away you go. Wieighing in at 8.8kg you'll find this ultra lightweight mower easy to push around your garden - essential for hand push models to minimise fatigue and maximise manoeuvrability. The handles fold down over the main power unit making this compact lawn mower easy to carry and store in a garden shed, garage and to transport in the boot of your car. Quick and easy to assemble out of the box, allowing you to get it in your garden for the first cut in no time at all. With no engine to service, you also don't need to spend time checking oil, air filters or spark plugs, making it extremely easy to maintain. In The Box: HYM3200E Electric Lawnmower, 25L Hard Top Grass Collector & User Manual Covered by Hyundai 3 year warranty
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CE Compliant Y Cutting Height 25/45/65mm Cutting Width 320mm dia Dimensions (L x W x H) 590x380x290 Weight (kg) 8.80 Warranty 3 Year Handles 2.00 Fueled/Driven by Electric Model HYM3200E Voltage 230 - 240V - 50Hz Motor Rated Power 1000W No Load Speed 3450min-1 Grass Collector Capacity 25l Electric Cable 10m
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Potatoes have it!
James M
In a tight race between four large teams, Diddly dee potatoes beat out the periodic table dancers by three points. We did well to contend with the pub crawl on the other side of the door!Disclaimer: Blog posts are written by our Quiz hosts. Any opinions or views expressed may or may not be shared by Question One Limited. If you feel the material here is inappropriate please report it to us so we may address it.
Top Teams
- 36.0
- Diddly dee potatoes
- 33.0
- Periodic Table Dancers
- 32.0
- We are here for the beer
- 26.0
- Channel 1 banter
James Masters wrote "Potatoes have it!" @katukbar https://t.co/ezgI7FjFQy #SouthYarra pic.twitter.com/YCCryJeu4s— Question One Quiz (@Q1Melbourne) March 24, 2017


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I was on the fence, this clock was priced more than most of the others in this style. When i opened it up....Whallla its beautiful. Its a large, a little larger than I thought. Howard Miller is the name in clocks!! So worth the extra money. Once I get it hung I will send picture. Its a real eye catcher. You can see the quality over a plastic version.
Howard Miller Lacy 32 Inch Wrought Iron Vintage, Transitional, Bold, Industrial Style Statement Wall Clock, Reloj De Pared
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Book ActionsStart Reading
Book Information
The Laughing Soldier: The British Armed Forces Jokebook
By Al Murray and Mark Ormrod
Britain's armed forces have a legendary sense of humor, dating back over generations of servicemen and women. The Laughing Soldier, aiding the veterans' charity Project 65, is a collection of jokes, along with messages of support for the troops, sent in by people all over the world. Contributors include serving personnel, veterans and their families, the general public, celebrities such as Alan Titchmarsh, comedian Milton Jones, and public officials including George Osborne, all inspired by the Armed Forces' strength and capacity for finding humor in the toughest of situations.
With forewords by satirist Al Murray, a.k.a. the Pub Landlord, and ex-marine Mark Ormrod, the Afghanistan hero who lost three limbs to a landmine and bestselling author of Man Down, and illustrated with cartoons by The Comic Stripper, The Laughing Soldier's collection of jokes will lift the spirits of servicemembers and their families—and those who care about them.
A donation is made to Project 65 from the sale of every book.
Book Preview
The Laughing Soldier - Al Murray
First published in Great Britain in 2010 by
Casemate Publishers
17 Cheap Street, Newbury, Berkshire RG14 5DD, United Kingdom
and in the United States by
Casemate Publishers
908 Darby Road, Havertown, PA 19083, USA
© 2010 Casemate Publishers
eISBN 978-1-61200-0473
All rights reserved. Apart from any fair dealing for the purpose of private study, research, criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, electrical, chemical, mechanical, optical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the Publishers.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Page layout by Mousemat Design Limited, Orpington, Kent, UK
Edited by Ruth Sheppard
Printed and bound by Gutenberg Press Ltd, Malta
Front cover image © Getty Images
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
For a complete catalogue of all books published by Casemate, please contact:
Casemate Publishers
Tel: (01635) 231091 Fax: (01635) 41619
E-mail: email@example.com
Website: www.casematepublishing.co.uk
Casemate Publishers
Tel: (610) 853 9131 Fax: (610) 853 9146
E-mail: email@example.com
Website: www.casematepublishing.com
About Project 65 – The Veterans Charity
Foreword 1
The Clean Jokes
The Dirty Jokes
Project 65 – The Veterans Charity – was founded in 2008 to raise funds for the care and support of wounded Armed Forces veterans and their families.
There are hundreds of different issues faced by UK Armed Forces veterans and families of the Armed Forces community. Project 65 focuses on being able to help fund the vital care and support available for every issue faced by those associated with forces life.
These issues include:
Treatment and rehabilitation following wounding or injury
Mental health
Financial support
Bereavement counselling
Family welfare
Every pound raised by Project 65 – The Veterans Charity will make a difference to the amount of money we can provide for our chosen beneficiaries and will enable them to continue providing the vital care and support they give to individuals and families affected by injury or trauma as a result of service in the UK armed forces. These do not just include the current and recent conflicts in Iraq or Afghanistan but also Kosovo, Bosnia, Northern Ireland, The Falklands, Borneo, Aden, Korea and of course World War II.
More information about the charity and how you can help or get involved can be found at www.project65.net
The Laughing Soldier grew from our love of the legendary
military sense of humour, the unique ability to find humour in the toughest of situations but also for some of the sharpest humour there has ever been.
Look at the greats of comedy – The Goon Show, Dad's Army, Blackadder or Monty Python – many of the cast members and writers had a military background and some of the shows were even given a military theme or setting.
The Laughing Soldier has three simple aims:
To provide a source of laughter when it's needed most
To give the caring and supportive British public a chance to send their messages of support directly to those on the front lines
To raise funds to help the care and support of veterans and forces families through Project 65 – The Veterans Charity.
There is an almost overwhelming feeling of pride amongst the British public for what our armed forces do around the world to help protect communities from tyranny and oppression as well as ensure our country remains a safe place for us all.
We often feel that the words
thank you could never be enough to express our gratitude and pride for everyone that has served in the Royal Navy, Army or Royal Air Force, both now and in the past. We sincerely hope that The Laughing Soldier will bring a smile and a laugh to those who are serving around the world and that the many messages of support will provide an insight into just how much pride, gratitude and respect there is for our Armed Forces.
Foreword by Al Murray – The Pub Landlord
Laughter finds its way into the strangest places. It permeates every aspect of life, so it should be no surprise that here's a joke book full of military humour. It can be a very particular kind of humour, the banter you'd find among mates, the kind of in-jokes, barbs and gags that to outsiders seem incomprehensible; the slogans chalked onto the sides of the gliders found outside Arnhem in 1944 stating things like
We are the Al Capone Gang and
Up the Fräuleins' skirts were met with bafflement by the enemy (and not just because they were humourless Germans). And when the Royal Dragoon Guards crashed the MOD's computer system with their Amarillo spoof, someone was laughing (though probably not the MOD).
But mainly I hope that this book with all its jokes will put a smile on the face of the people doing what they're doing so we that don't have to do what they're doing, because that, in the end, is what it boils down to.
Al Murray
Foreword by former Royal Marine Mark Ormrod
Due to the harsh nature of life in the military, especially during times of conflicts, a good sense of humour is a key aspect to getting through the tough times that face all of our servicemen and women. Being able to tell a joke or
crack a funny when morale is low can help even the worst of situations seem that little bit better. Our armed forces are well known for their


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Political Humor
View Single Post
Baron Samedi
Russian Bot 762X54R
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Framingham
Posts: 28,165
Posting Frequency
Casino cash: $469175
My Mood
Something for my fellow Planeteers for Valentine's Day....
20 Political Pickup Lines To Use This Valentines Day
1. I must be Uncle Sam because I WANT YOU
2. If you were a president, youd be Babe-raham Lincoln.
3. George Washington might not like political parties, but Id like to party with you
4. Did you say hello to Reagan before you fell from Heaven?
5. On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?
6. I bet youre glad they dont tax good looks
7. Lets discuss the state of THIS union.
8. Are you going to give me your phone number, or should I ask the NSA?
9. Our date will live in infamy
10. Even Obama wouldnt veto you
11. I think youre violating the Alien and Seduction Acts
12. I believe in life, liberty, and the pursuit of you
13. You look like my future first lady.
14. You must be an Obama entitlement program, because youre raising my interest rate.
15. Heres my number-call me legis-Later
16. Looking at you raises my spirits like Obama raises the National Debt
17. Illegal immigrants are stealing our jobs, but youre stealing my heart.
18. Hey girl, Id put you in my binder
It says 20, I only see 18.
Originally Posted by
Originally Posted by
Who is this self-important instigating douche-bag, anyway?
Dude, Baron has been a valued member of this forum for quite some time.
Peace, Prosperity, Liberty, Human Rights, Natural Rights, Civil Rights, Property Rights, Sound Money, Free Markets, Sovereignty, the Constitution, the Republic.
Shameless plug for my blog;
Baron Samedi
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Mohammad Amir to Hussain Talat, OUT, the angle has done the trick. Amir slants this back in at length from wide of the crease, there's a hint of deviation away as it beats the outside edge to crash into the stumps. Talat was looking to run this down
Hussain Talat b Mohammad Amir 8 (7b 1x4 0x6) SR: 114.28
Mohammad Irfan to Ronchi, OUT, excellent reflex-action catch on his followthrough. This is a full toss on middle, Ronchi made room to go over the bowler's head but ended up hitting it straight back. Irfan struck his right hand out to pluck that even as the momentum took him forward. You feel, however, that Ronchi's blitz tonight has well and truly taken the game away from Karachi.
L Ronchi c & b Mohammad Irfan 71 (37b 10x4 3x6) SR: 191.89


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Solomon's First Month
At the start of the 2019-2020 school year, Mr. Solomon entered Leesville Road High School as the principal and began making his mark on the students and staff. Solomon arrived
In the United States, almost every high schooler's wish is to drive. It's a form of independence – a way of learning how to become your own person by becoming
In times as uncertain as these, people need to find something to connect over, such as music. The Australian band 5 Seconds of Summer, or 5SOS, released their fourth album,
Many people have a pet. From a scaly snake to a furry ferret, pets bring a smile to people's faces. In fact, the human-animal bond is very beneficial to one's
At the start of the 2019-2020 school year, Mr. Solomon entered Leesville Road High School as the principal and began making his mark on the students and staff. Solomon arrived
TikTok — the app for all of Gen Z. The app is reminiscent of Vine in its immense popularity, but vastly different. The app itself is simple: Users pick a
According to collegeboard.org, more than 7.8 million high school students participate in standardized college entrance exams every year. Most students know these assessments by their acronyms: the ACT [American College
In yearbook, newspaper, chorus, and band, students have been chosen by teachers and seniors from the previous year to lead their classmates. These roles consist of the students doing things
Arguably one of the best aspects of baseball comes from home runs. For many baseball fans, it is a once in a lifetime experience to catch a ball. However, this
Recently, I decided to try out one of the new popular trends among teenagers; cycling. Cycling classes gained a following from social media stars who go to SoulCycle, a trendy
Across the nation, addiction is plaguing teenagers in the form of nicotine and caffeinated drinks. From the popular trend of vaping, to energy brands such as Red Bull and Bang,
My older sister graduated from Leesville with the class of '18 — the same year I started my freshman year here. Both of us were in the Leesville Road school
Painting the senior wall has been a tradition here at Leesville since 2008. Seniors come together to put their mark on the school every year. "I really wanted to be
For this school year it was very competitive to get in to any of the performing arts programs .The four top performing groups here at Leesville are Dance Ensemble, Capital
The class of 2021 is starting to order their class rings this fall. Class rings traditionally have a center stone and band with designs on the side, like a school
Leesville is one of the top schools for athletics in Wake County. Students have committed for sports, from soccer, lacrosse, football, and softball. One student who is going to be
NCMA's expansive park is full of unique sculptures and functional art installations; their latest is no exception to the idea of unique design with a new purpose. Back in May,
The fall class of internship takes a picture in front of the senior wall. These students are working with all types of internships to ready themselves for the future. (Photo courtesy of Rachel Fearn)
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood and 1984 by George Orwell are two summer reading choices for students taking Advanced Placement Literature and Composition. (Photo Courtesy of Sarah Jumma) This
Most club interest meetings have already happened, and students are scrambling to get a spot in their favorite clubs with friends or personal interests in mind. Some clubs, like HOSA,
Library shelves in a Nashville, Tennessee school are empty of the classic series Harry Potter, written by J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter is one of the highest selling books series and
The Varsity Men's Soccer team pulled an epic victory against Cardinal Gibbons Monday, September 16. They won the game after tying, going into overtime, and won during penalty kicks. Alex
This 2019-2020 school year is Mr. Ian Solomon's first full year as Leesville Road High School's principal. His transition into being a full-term principal has brought new changes to the
Leesville Road High School's yearbook, Menagerie, has been documenting the school's history since its establishment in 1993. Every year, the Menagerie staff is responsible for compiling a tribute to the
High school students have learned to cope with stress because it is almost always going to come up. Some stressors are worse than others, and people may not notice that
There are about 570 seniors in this year's graduating class, and it is pretty clear that at some point or another these students will experience something commonly known as senioritis.
This past weekend, on September 8-9, I had the opportunity to go on an intense football weekend with my father and his friends. On the night of September 8 (Saturday),
The 2020 season is around the corner, and Carolina Hurricanes fans are already buying new gear and season tickets, and getting ready to see their favorite team back on the
Originally created to be a way for smokers to wean off cigarettes, teens discovered the nicotine- filled juice of vapes and became hooked. Vaping drew teens in with fun flavors,
In the four years of high school, students grow and change dramatically. But how different are their opinions about school? Thoughts on the first day? "On the first day of
Yard signs dot the ground in downtown Raleigh, an area where candidates must get out the vote to have any chance of winning their election. (Photo courtesy of Jacob Smith)
In 1926 Carter G. Woodson started to teach Black History Week which would later become Black History Month in 1976. In the United States, we celebrate Black History Month, but
The TV sensational show The Office has taken over the world, sometimes pushing important homework and due dates to the side as students would rather watch an episode than do
In the ever changing fashion world, brands try to keep up with the latest trends. The design, create, and release process is a never ending cycle—enabling clothing brands to
Along the journey that is high school, there are many routes one can take all with the same goal in mind: walking across the stage during graduation. Depending on the
All high schoolers know the struggles and hard work that goes into being a student: the hours of homework and classwork required to get A's. However, only a select few
Leesville Road High School students and staff see many murals around the school, including the ones in the cafeteria, inside some of the teachers' rooms, and the new one on
Two years ago, killer clowns will all the rage. At a time when there were stories of clowns menacing people, It, based off of the Steven King book by the
With the NFL season starting, Colin Kaepernick is back in the news. In August of 2016, Kaepernick made a decision that would end his football career. Kaperpernick took a stand
The devastation of Hurricane Dorian really hurt the Carribean, but the Outer Banks also felt the storms power. and while everyone is hearing about the tragedies of the Carribean, there
Although school starts at 7:18 a.m it is required for some to arrive at school earlier than that. The early arrivals is due to the fact their coaches or directors believe extra practice or rehearsal is necessary. (Photo courtesy of Alicia Melvin)
In North America, we identify hurricanes through different names to ease communication and confusion. However, until 1953 we tracked hurricanes by year and the order in which they occurred during
Hurricanes are one of the most powerful natural forces on Earth. Governments would jump at the thought of being able to prevent one of these disasters, but would they go
Sonnet House is one of many students at Leesville High School who has to balance school and soccer. Being a student athlete helps her be responsible and improve her time
On Thursday, August 29, the Leesville JV football team took on Panther Creek in Leesville's first home game of the season. Both teams fought hard, but Panther Creek walked away
Aside from men's basketball, most winter sports don't get much publicity within the Leesville community. While parents and friends attend some games/matches, most winter sporting events are barren, full of
Norman F***ing Rockwell, Lana Del Rey's sixth studio album, dropped August 30. As a fan of her music, I looked forward to the release of this album since hearing "Venice
Zack Snyder's Man Of Steel (2013) gave some DC fans a new hope for the future of live-action DC movies. But, critics and hardcore fans were suspicious of the potential
Photo courtesy of Natalie Gore By: Natalie Gore Two days after the release, Lover became the top-selling album of 2019. Swift's music is enjoyed around the globe by millions every
In November, Leesville Road High School will be honoring students who have given back to the community. The LRHS PTSA is recognizing "individuals who demonstrate outstanding volunteer service and civic
By: Ellie Thompson, Staff Writer The officers of the Special Needs Awareness Club stop for a photo after a successful interest meeting. They constantly offer their time and resources
The recent news of Sony and Marvel's split has fans of the Spiderman films worried about the beloved character's future. Fans are asking many questions concerning where Spiderman will appear.
Many people in Wake County were worried about the hurricane, but for most people in the county this was this scene. No torrential rain, no 100mph winds, no dark clouds,
The parking lot has been an important sign of independence for students. With this new schedule change, leaving campus is a daunting task that some upperclassmen are avoiding entirely. (Photo