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Need some advice,plz (post #50247)
I'm sorry to bother anyone today, but I am sitting here crying and I don't know where else to turn to for advice,...I haven't been around here as my Dad's health has not been great and the fact that my Mother has pretty much deserted me over a recent incident, has just not left me in the cooking kind of mood...
Two and a half years ago I met the man of my dreams( even with his imperfections)LOL...he was separated and has kids. We live an hour apart and still that never come in the way of us seeing each other. After a couple of dates we talked about the future since both of us were not getting any younger and after both of us had been with "time wasters" we wanted to make sure that we felt the same about our future. The summer after we met, he filed for a divorce....
He had a vasectamy after his kids and told me that he was interested in marraige again and a family as well with me. So, here we are 2 1/2 years later and last summer one of his sons came to live with him. He is wonderful and my guy has often told me that I am a better mom to his son than his ex. I know this to be true because of how the kids have looked and behaved over the past years. While they are very good with me, there are cleanliness and discipline issues that are disgusting...too gross to get into here...
Last night he told me that he wants to bring his other son to live with him in the fall,.....meanwhile we think that someone from the other side is putting things into his 9 year old that is with him now- about going back to the Mom. Since he has been with his dad, he has thrived in all aspects of his life...socially and school. I feel very lucky to have seen one man make such a HUGE difference in a child's life like I have seen here. If that boy were to go back to the Mom-who has three back there already....(.two of which belong to a low life she hooked up with and pays not a dime-of course,)....it would be horrible.
My guy would die inside and the last few night he has not slept or eaten....I have grown to love this boy and the thought of what it would do to my guy kills me inside...I have tried to tell him gently that I do not think that woman will ever give up the other boy( we are pretty sure she was forced to do so with the 9 year old and that there was a complaint against her from an agency or past school ) and he has exploded. While his heart is in the right place, he I sit wondering what will become of us as I feel pushed a little lower on the pole to us making a life together.
Last night he also told me he does not want to have any more kids.....he cannot afford the reversal and feels that due to the time that has lapsed and my age (40) that there is no point. He told me that he wishes we had met 10 years ago because he knows we would have had a family....
I sat on the balcony all night in the dark and cried....I haven't been able to stop all day....I have always wanted to be a Mom and the past years just didn't have me with a guy that was a life partner. All that changed when I met this man. It's not that I am older and my clock is ticking,...it is the love I have inside for this man and the wanting of sharing one of life's most precious gifts with him....
I am so angry....and asked him why on earth he did not tell me his change of plans earlier...and while I may have cried alot and still wished to be with him, it would have given me the opportunity to throw myself out there again and find a guy who felt the way I did about wanting a family. I told him he was selfish...
He told me he is afraid that I would leave him after we got married if we tried to have a child and we were unsuccessful.....I would never leave.
I know that sometimes life is not what we hoped it would be, but somehow today I am just so sad inside....if I choose to end what we have, I am leaving someone who makes me laugh each and every day, someone who loves me for all that I am and the my crazy quirks. I love this man with all my heart, and his son,...God, how could I ever expain this to a 9 year old?????
If I continue with the relationship, I just don't know how to come to terms with all this(therapy?)...He told me last night that if I loved him I would be satisfied with all that we have, and that he had hoped having his son here would be enough for me...It is BECAUSE I love him so much that this all hurts so bad...
I sit here thinking that I was supposed to have a family of my own somewhere in my life, and through a cruel twist of fate I will not have that...I don't really pray, but last night I swear I just sat crying looking up to my God and asking for help....I just feel that no matter what I decide I am no further ahead. It doesn't help that so often people ask me if we will have kids....I look at my Nephew's face sometimes as I tuck him into bed and my heart just aches... I am so confused and feel empty inside and so lost...
Any words of comfort from you guys would help me so much today,....thnks for reading, and I am sorry this is so long
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
(post #50247, reply #1 of 53)
Rhea, no words of advice, because only you can decide what you should do. You have invested several years of your life with a man who, frankly, lied to you. He wasn't honest about not wanting to have children, out of fear you might leave him? Did it ever occur to him to just come right out and say that, giving you the option to leave before you tied the knot? If you decide that you can live without children easier than you can live without him, then go for it. If the decision goes the other way, then make a clean break of it.
Not One More Day! Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!
(post #50247, reply #2 of 53)
i can't write much now, but here's some initial thoughts:
1) "If you love me, you'll..." Bad words. Don't play that game. Run.
2) Sadly, love does not conquer all obstacles.
3) It is possible to be friends after a relationship ends (sometimes). hopefully, if it ends, this man will not only become a friend but will also let you see this boy sometimes
4) I had a healthy baby naturally at age 45. You can still find someone who doesn't lie.
5) Take care of yourself first.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
–Jack Handey
Edited 6/4/2008 4:57 pm ET by msm-s
(post #50247, reply #4 of 53)
What msm said and AnnL
Been there done that.
You don't scare me
I have an African Grey
You don't scare me
I have an African Grey
(post #50247, reply #5 of 53)
Many many thanks,....sad thing is that underneath all of this crap, I think he is still afraid of another failed marriage and that he would benefit from some counselling....everyone's words here did a great job of trying to sort out what is rambling around in my head.
There's a big elephant in the room and I just have to get rid of it......I care for him very much...but it makes me feel that a couple needs to take of their own relationship FIRST before trying to bring his other son here...I guess his needs for more kids left when he got his one son....
It's just hard to get past the fact that he should have told me as soon as he felt differently...we have had wonderful relationship based on trust and honesty, even when it may not be what the other person wants to hear,...so this is a big blow to swallow right now..
I have alot of thinking to do, I guess...
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
(post #50247, reply #7 of 53)
I care for him very much...but it makes me feel that a couple needs to take of their own relationship FIRST before trying to bring his other son here...
Sorry, but his kids HAVE to come FIRST. My friend is going through something similar with her SO. His ex is on drugs and in an abusive relationship which she refuses to end, blah, blah, blah. So, his 2 teenage sons have just moved in with them. All their plans, all their "stuff" has to go on the back burner because keeping his kids safe and away from their lunatic mother has to be the priority. I know that's hard for you to deal with, but it is the way it is.
"The elders were wise. They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too." Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux
"The elders were wise. They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too." Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux
(post #50247, reply #12 of 53)
Rhea - his children will ALWAYS come first with him, and frankly, that's the way it should be.
Statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception.
- Mark Twain
"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty." - George Bernard Shaw
(post #50247, reply #14 of 53)
And ditto Biscuit too.
(post #50247, reply #10 of 53)
(BTW- i think you meant to address your question to Fledge, who said BTDT).
Edited 6/4/2008 5:58 pm ET by msm-s
(post #50247, reply #19 of 53)
you are right,....just having a crazy moment...
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
(post #50247, reply #3 of 53)
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I strongly suggest you talk to a counselor, someone who can help you sort through your feelings and figure out what's really the priority for you--this man or having children. MSM-S has a point about the "if you love me" game, it is a game, don't fall for it. It needs to be your decision about whether you will give up having children to be with this man. I'm not so sure about having time to find someone and have kids. It puts alot of pressure with that clock ticking away and none of us know when it's going to stop ticking. Mine stopped very early, in my late 30s. Took my options away much sooner than I had expected. You could always investigate having a child on your own or adopting, either with this man or on your own.
Seriously, you have alot of options and alot of feelings to work through and sort out. Having someone objective to talk to will really help.
In the meantime, hugs to you.
"The elders were wise. They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too." Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux
"The elders were wise. They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too." Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux
(post #50247, reply #6 of 53)
How did you get through it????
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
(post #50247, reply #8 of 53)
How did you get through it????
How did I get through what? Early menopause? Didn't have a choice. <shrug>
"The elders were wise. They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too." Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux
"The elders were wise. They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too." Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux
(post #50247, reply #9 of 53)
Ohhhhhh, my goodness. You poor, sweet thing. I'm SO SORRY. I'm also kinda mad at your guy because he should have been MUCH more forthcoming with this MUCH sooner. BIIIIIIIGGGGGGG hugs to you.
HOWEVER. I'm here to tell you that although you may not GET your child(ren) in the customary way, if you do decide to do some alternative "getting" (or begetting, I suppose), you CAN happily and successfully rear a lovely child on your own and have a wonderful family life. Single motherhood is NOT horrible or lonely or undo-able or any of that. It's different from married/conventional motherhood, but ohhhhhh, the freedom. I absolutely consider Gillen and myself a family, and we've been on our own for 10 of his 13 years. It's just an alternative to consider as you slog through all this hurt and grief and shock.
One possible idea? Don't make any irrevocable decisions until the initial "gut-punch" reaction has passed. You have plenty of time to break up, consider adoption, whatever, whatever AFTER you've cried yourself to sleep, paced the floor, stayed up all night, whatever you have to do. Give yourself a bit of time to process this before you do anything irreversible.
In the meantime, I'll keep you in my prayers.
I've never been a millionaire, but I just know I'd be darling at it.
Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.
-- Washington Irving
(post #50247, reply #11 of 53)
just to play devil's advocate, but maybe, three years ago when you met, he did want a reversal and want to have kids. Maybe things with his ex and kids have gotten so complicated that he feels overwhelmed with the idea of more kids and more family now. Maybe his hands are full and he told you when he realized it, even if it is not what you want to hear.
As everyone has said, you need to take care of yourself. Families are all different and can be made up of various combinations of relationships. Maybe you could have your own/ adopt/ foster? With him or without him...
I think that therapy for yourself and for the two of you would be a great place to start.
(post #50247, reply #13 of 53)
Ditto what Mer said.
(post #50247, reply #15 of 53)
Mer and Biscuit made excellent points, that this man's feelings about having kids may have been evolving (rather than he was lying), and that his kids are and should be his priority.
(edit to add: a dear friend married a much younger woman. he had one teenager and she'd never had kids. they thought they were on the same page about having children together, partly because they were both being overly empathetic with the other. but within a year, the marriage was over because they each realized how deeoly divided they were on this very important issue. They are now divorced but very, very good friends.)
Hurt can take time to heal. do go to a councellor and have some more talks with this guy. Be honest with him about how important children are to you and ask him to be totally honest too. There's never any point in telling a SO what they want to hear if it's untrue, except that it's a cowardly way to put off what may be painful.The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
–Jack Handey
Edited 6/4/2008 6:58 pm ET by msm-s
(post #50247, reply #16 of 53)
So sorry that you're faced with this difficult situation and decision. As Biscuit said, at best, you will only #3, after his kids.
You deserve to be #1. IMHO, when you find the right partner, and THEN decide to have kids together, you stay #1. The parental relationship is the foundation for the family, so extra effort is always focused there. But when there are already kids involved, especially youngsters, they have to come first. The kids deserve that. It's probably best for him to not even date anyone while his kids are at home, just to avoid any conflict. It's something of a double standard, perhaps, but it is what it is.
At 40 you are not too old. I had my twins last year at 39.
I encourage you to think forward, and to not change your expectations. Settling, making do with "just this one thing", is in conflict with staying true to yourself.
Hugs to you -- cry it out and turn to friends. You can move through this.
(post #50247, reply #17 of 53)
If you love him then it will be the answer. You seem to truly truly love him, and that may be enough for your lifetime, at your age.
If you want to have a baby, you can do that, even without him--sort of sad to say, but in this day and age, it is true. SO if you only want to be a mother, you can do that.
I realize you feel a bit betrayed by this, but, maybe HE needed some time to sort out whether HE could be a father again.
So make a choice. Love your man/partner, mother his kids, and have a lovely life.
You don't necessarily need to be #3 behind his kids. You will be #1 on a different scale. And you can make a HUGE difference in these children's lives. Our DDIL is doing that for DS's child (and DGS's mother, the ex is also). Kids can't have too many good things happen to them.
(post #50247, reply #21 of 53)
Thank-you all for your words,...his ex is not a druggy, just a low level thinker that was great at having babies, just a crappy mother....I love making a difference in his son's life and it is so rewarding to see what my time and affection for him has brought forth.
I have watched him come home with "A's", now instead of him hiding his homework and bringing "C's".
He always asks when I will be at his home next and we do many fun things together that make both our days special...precious moments.
I have always known that his kids should come first...as they should...the youner boy,from the behaviour I have seen is still at the stage where he is hungering for the Mother's attention and there are times he cries when we meet to do the weekend exchange...very sad.
I am not resentful that his son is now here,.....it brings much joy and happiness everyday, and I get to see first hand that my guy is a wonderful and loving Father with a heart bigger than anything...I just guess that it is hard knowing that I am unsure as to where I fit into the picture.
Adoption is something we cannot afford. The surgery he had can be reversed for a very expensive fee...The sad thing is that while an option could be to just find a donor out there,...I could never afford it on my own...
I know I won't feel better tomorrow, but your words have given me a new insight and I am so grateful to you all....
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
(post #50247, reply #24 of 53)
Gretchen did lay it out well, how our relationships with and love for our SO, kids and parents are all different and can't really be compared.
However, i think the point was that when push comes to shove, the interest of the kids will come first. The good news is that you seem to be what's good for the kids!
My advice based on experience: Be really honest with yourself about what you need in this life and act accordingly. I ignored so many signs that my ex was wrong for me. We shared superficial interests but deep down had different needs, wants and goals in life but I tried to make things work out because we loved each other anyway; he "didn't want to lose" me and when he felt that i was ready to leave he'd pull out all the stops to convince me to stay, temporarily. That is very flattering stuff, but will hold you back from what you need. If the cold truth is that your needs won't be met in this relationship, then don't lose any more time by staying in it. Try to end it as friends and move on.
Be sure you can live with the worst-case scenario, child-wise, if you stay wth him. Be sure he'd be okay with you adopting or concieving by other means, and be very clear from the beginning about whether he'd be willing to help support that child or not. If he agrees that he can handle it emotionally but you mistakenly think that he intends to be more involved with that child personally or financially, there will be deeply hurt feelings that the relationship probably won't survive.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
–Jack Handey
Edited 6/5/2008 9:47 am ET by msm-s
Edited 6/5/2008 9:52 am ET by msm-s
(post #50247, reply #25 of 53)
Very wise words( many thks!)
I always knew his kids would come first,...and I was OK with that...And while it really sucks that if we had met 10 years ago our lives surely would have been different....but who can dwell on that stuff???
I had so many bad and useless relationships in the past that I finally after a few of them began to see my worth and then based my choices on that....I do feel he is my soulmate, and after a long talk with my brother last night...he, like many here kind of said the same great words.
He also reminded me that in the past, when it came to men, I had plates of raw fish......
Then I met my guy and I got STEAK.......I may never have the roasted potatoes, but I have STEAK!!! After I laughed(which I so needed) things in my head started to unjumble a little bit.....
In the middle of all this is the fact that I am trying to get a transfer out his way so we can finally move in together , and after a talk last night he finally said that he did not know when "IT" hit him, but he knew that it would be selfish of him to have me move out there and start a life, when his views had changed.
As far as the adoption thing, I just don't have that kind of money....there are other ways around the reversal, but after I told him what was involved he kind of looked a bit pale...
I guess it just comes down to me either thanking God that I have a wonderful man in my life who loves me, and learning to live with cards have been dealt, OR starting again without knowing if I will find that special thing again....I was never one who gambles, and change is so hard for me..
I am taking the next few days to try and clear my head,
Again, many thanks,....I felt like I was losing it, and falling apart, and once again all of you came to help....they were the hugs I really needed....
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
(post #50247, reply #27 of 53)
You are on the right track by taking some time for yourself. You deserve some space now. I agree with everything that has been said. But I urge you and your guy to go to couples counseling, whether you stay together or not. You have to explore what YOU really want and what he really wants. And as far as the kids being a number one priority, yes they are number one...and two. But you (if you decide to stay) will be number one as well, just on a different level. The kids will grow up, and hopefully, you two will still be together, as a unit for them. But step kids, whether young or adults, have precedence over some things. Good luck.
(post #50247, reply #47 of 53)
Thank-you,...:) I did mention the counselling thing, as there are other issues that come with both our families that would keep any therapist in biz for centuries...LOL... sometimes advice from someone who is not "in it" is just so helpful...
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
(post #50247, reply #28 of 53)
This is so hard. I have a friend in the same situation; young teen stepsons when she met their dad. Useless mother. Friend and father married, and the boys lived with them most of their teen years and into their 20s. She loves them wholeheartedly but seems to really grieve not having a child herself.
My fear would be giving up the opportunity of having a child yourself, because you've said that's what you really want, and then finding out a few years from now that this relationship isn't working. It would be very difficult to have made such a huge sacrifice on his terms--and then realize it didn't make a difference.
From your last email, it sounded like he is asking you not to move out there. Or am I reading that wrong? If he is asking that, he is pulling away, and I think you need to make your own plans, including a child since that's what you want. Is it feasible to discuss your plans to have a child, and whether he wants to be part of your family?
(post #50247, reply #29 of 53)
FIrst of all, I am so sorry you are going through this. I have had my share of crying nights,
and know how painful this must be.
I keep rereading everyone's advice here, as you have received some very insightful replies.
And one of the wonderful things about a board like this, you are getting advice from many perspectives - all ages, single and coupled, with children, and not.
There is obviously no guarantee if this relationship ends that you will find another partner to have a child with, but if being a mother is a priority for you, you have to decide if you can live knowing you didn't try.
Although adoption and many of the options are expensive, and that is an issue for you. I have to believe where there is a will, there is a way. You are a loving person, who would be a good mother, and there will always be babies who need that.
For me, the fact that he didn't tell you his feelings earlier is an issue. Yes, as has aptly been pointed out, maybe he wasn't certain, maybe these feelings evolved. But, obviously he has been thinking about it, and should have shared some of his process along the way.
And, now it sounds as though he's waivering a bit on you moving in with him. I've always hated those break up conversations that twist to sound as though someone is doing what is best for you, or fair for you. You can be the judge of what is best for you.
Would he go to couples counseling with you? Whether you stay together or not, it might be beneficial for both of you.
(post #50247, reply #32 of 53)
If the ways around the reversal are removal of the little swimmers via a procedure, it can be done. And the artificial insemination process for you is no day at the beach, believe me, so he shouldn't feel so bad about it. Just a word for further discussion if that is a possibility.
One question that may clarify things for you is "if I'm not with him, will I be happy? Does he make that difference in my life?"
(post #50247, reply #48 of 53)
"Does he make that difference in my life?"
yes....guess that is why this hurts so much...:)
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...
(post #50247, reply #51 of 53)
Rhea: I wanted children since I was a child. I always knew I'd have them. Yet I met my husband and he wanted neither marriage nor children and that was that. Not that he wouldn't discuss it, he just flat out didn't want them. When we finally chose to marry I had to have a long talk with myself about how this would impact me. I chose the option to marry a wonderful man and be childless and believe me, through my late 30s, I second guessed my decision. Every time a friend became pregnant, I'd cry. I so wanted a baby--but it didn't make me love DH less. I grew past the desire for babies of my own. I have magnificent nieces and nephews whom I love to pieces and who love me right back. We've shared wonderful experiences together and will continue to do so. Do I miss not having my own? Sure, but not in an overpowering way. It was a very thought out decision on my part. Best of luck on your decision.
(post #50247, reply #33 of 53)
You've gotten a lot of really good advice here and I have nothing to add to that. I just wanted to send support. Its a hard, rotten place to be in when you have to make choices that are so difficult but remember that when one door closes another one opens and it may be one that you had not previously considered.
Best of luck.
(post #50247, reply #23 of 53)
You don't necessarily need to be #3 behind his kids. You will be #1 on a different scale.
You are so right, Gretchen. We are not all on the same scales, Rhea. His children are on one, you are on another. You are not #3. I hate applying numbers to relationships.
Rhea, I had Athina when I was 40. If you want to have your own children, it is not too late. And, as mentioned, there are other ways to have them where you don't need a partner. It is unfortunate if you want to have this man's child(ren), but you just may have to do this on your own.
How would he feel about your staying in the relationship but having a child on your own?
I wish I could offer words of wisdom - I can't. Relationships are tricky things and they're all so different. All I can do is wish you the best, which I do from the bottom of my heart. You are a good person. May you find happiness.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes. (unknown)


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Bachelor of Science in Business Management
Utah Valley University
Program Details
Utah Valley University offers the Bachelor of Science in Business Management degree, a flexible, online-based program that is intended to give students the skills and knowledge so that they might pursue management and other business-related positions in private industries, government, and entrepreneurship. Students are encouraged to work with advisors to create a plan of study that suits their own needs.
Students may choose one of the following concentrations:
- Entrepreneurship
- General Business
- Hospitality Management
- International Business
- High school diploma or equivalent
- Official high school and/or college transcripts
School Accreditation Statement
Northwest Commission on Colleges and Universities


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WOVIN is a modern textile recycling company. They work directly with consumers to keep textiles out of landfills by making it easy and rewarding to donate unwanted clothes.
About Wovin
- Published: Thursday 14th May 2015
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text:
When appealing a civil case either side may appeal the verdict as written by uscourts.gov:
Civil Case
Either side may appeal the verdict.
Now I know an apellate court can sometimes deny an appeal. And I know that in criminal trials, if the defendant is not guilty, the court goes a step further and says the government is not even allowed to appeal:
Criminal Case
The defendant may appeal a guilty verdict, but the government may not appeal if a defendant is found not guilty. Either side in a criminal case may appeal with respect to the sentence that is imposed after a guilty verdict.
This spurred the following question...
Is there ever a special case where a civil court can legally outright prevent either party from filing an appeal?


text:
The story of The Hawa Mahal Murders focusses on two characters: Smita, a troubled housewife trapped in a bad marriage (her second), and Jai, a police officer desperate to prove himself but stymied at every step by a crooked boss and a corrupt system.
When a series of murders take place in a posh locality in Mumbai, all hell breaks loose, with senior police officers scrambling to save the Chief Minister's son and frame an innocent watchman. Jai finds it hard to handle the intrigue and is on the verge of losing his job. Smita, struggling to salvage a deteriorating relationship with her husband, realizes that she married for all the wrong reasons, again. She regrets her decision to put aside her career ambitions and has to consider the possibility that her husband is a serial killer.
This story is also about a woman's vulnerability in society and police corruption.
Targeted Age Group:: 15-50
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
It was always my ambition to write a novel in the thriller genre as I read books of that type with great enjoyment. Besides, I have always been a writer, ever since I was a child. I took up journalism as a career and this improved my writing skills. I also wrote a lot of short stories, some of which were published. And finally, I won a contest at a literary festival and as a result, bagged a book contract.
How Did You Come up With Your Characters?
Like all fiction writers, I draw characters by observing people around me. However, this does not mean that my characters are from real life. One amalgamates people one knows and adds something else to the recipe, from one's own imagination. It's like cooking in a manner of speaking.
Book Sample
Raja was a boy of six when he decided to build Hawa Mahal. He decided this as he stood in front of the mahal of his dreams: a rose-coloured five-storey façade with hundreds of ornate windows. He had never been this mesmerised.
The boy was visiting Jaipur with his parents, eager to introduce him to the city of their origin. Hawa Mahal was an ancient palace built by a great king hundreds of years ago, they told him. Raja's little boy mind could not quite grasp the historical significance of the Palace of Winds and nor could he encompass the enormity of the time that had passed by, but he knew that this must be one of the wonders of the world. He told his father, a jawan in the Indian Army, that he would build a palace just like this. His father gave him a pink plastic toy to play with. Here's your Hawa Mahal, he said.
Raja's mother, a god-fearing woman who had never seen the inside of a school, told him gently that he was not a Maharaja, just her Raja. Little did Raja know that his struggle against his parents' disbelief had only just begun.
The years rolled by and Raja scraped through school. His parents were indifferent. He won prizes in sports and in oratory but his parents didn't notice. When he enrolled in college on a sports scholarship, they told him to get a job. When he insisted on pursuing graduation, they let him, in stoic acceptance of his stubbornness. When he graduated, they suspected he had cheated but they were happy that now he could start working.
Raja left home to become a salesman in a jewellery shop; a store belonging to his father's cousin. His work-place was in far-off Kolkata, away from the suffocating dullness of his parents. He liked the work, especially the diamonds. The customers fascinated him, the men and women with their fancy clothes and soft voices. When no one was looking he practiced their clean, clear accents, the subtleties in their expressions and the adroitness in their speech. He would often pretend he was one of them, strutting around in his best clothes, knowing that one day he would be better than them. He would own many such shops and marry one of their women.
One day he fell in love with a girl who came to the shop. She came every day for six days, enthralled with the shiny gold necklaces and sparkling diamonds. She adorned herself with them, staring wide-eyed at her own reflection in the mirrored walls. He believed that she came every day because she liked him and he wanted to give her a ring with the biggest diamond in the shop. She was the girl of his dreams: beautiful, rich, with all the fine upbringing that he wished he had. He asked her to marry him on the sixth day. He never saw her again. It confused him, because he knew she liked him. Maybe she hadn't guessed how rich he would become.
That was when he decided to hurry up.
Stealing a fistful of diamonds from the shop where he slaved the whole day and guarded the whole night, he ran away to a city called Surat, where he knew diamond merchants worked. Afraid of the police, he grew a beard, learnt to speak the language and changed his name to Rajat Mehta. He never contacted any of his family members again. He needn't have worried. The police never came.
He set himself up as a middleman and traded in jewels. The secret lay in the buying, that is what he had learnt after three years in the business. It was an industry where contacts were everything, because buying on credit was critical; trust needed to be earned. With his smooth talk, good designs, reliability, and most important, competitive prices, he built up a large network of contacts and a loyal customer base. He kept a low profile and was careful not to cheat the wrong people. He came to be known as Surat's Rajubhai.
Seven years later, not as rich as he wanted to be and still thinking of the love of his life, Rajubhai decided to re-locate.
His destination was Mumbai. He was just thirty; plenty of time to make it big. One day, when people believed him to be one of the best in the business, he took a loan and bought his first shop in Andheri. He lived in a tiny alcove above the shop, surviving on just two shirts, one meal, and a scooter, stashing away all the extra cash to repay his loan.
One day, a respected businessman came to his shop, agreed to pay off his loan and gift him a plot of land in Juhu – if he married his cross-eyed daughter. Rajubhai agreed. The time had come to build Hawa Mahal, the palace of his dreams. And search for the girl he had not forgotten.
Many years later:
It was odd, Karan deciding to move into Hawa Mahal before he had shown it to her. She saw it on the Sunday before they moved in, and on their way there he told her how wonderful Hawa Mahal was, and how lucky they were to have got an apartment there. Not only was it located in an elite neighbourhood, the rich and the famous lived there. She would see it for herself.
As soon as they entered JWD, as the area was popularly called, the chaotic sounds of traffic muted and lush green trees started to replace the dusty shrubs. Sari-clad housewives with jute shopping bags turned into ray-banned women in air-conditioned cars, and white-shirted office-goers at bus-stops into blue-uniformed chauffeurs and khaki-clad chowkidars. Faceless apartment buildings on the edge of the road morphed into white bungalows lined with pavements, not footpaths. It was a place through which slum dwellers, hawkers, beggars or even ordinary mortals, would hesitate to pass.
'Look, the houses are getting larger,' said Karan as he unerringly homed in on D Road.
He'd been here before but hadn't bothered to mention it. Resentment welled up in her as she thought back to the past week. Karan's personality seemed to have undergone a change. Today especially, he had been in one of his lousy moods, having started the day shouting at the waiter for serving them oily omelettes, and on their way out of the hotel, he'd picked a quarrel with her because she had refused to change out of her faded blue jeans. And on the drive here, he had got into an abusive exchange with an Uber driver who had veered too close to their brand-new Hyundai i20. Something was wrong. Although Karan had always been a little mercurial, impatient, irritable even, he had never been this irritable.
True, she had known him for just over a year before marrying him, but she couldn't bear to think that she had made a mistake, again. He must be under some kind of pressure, maybe the new job wasn't working out.
Smita glanced at the white mansions around her, houses with black spiked gates which looked more like barricades. She had to admit that D Road was pretty, and unlike any other road she had seen in Mumbai. Wide and shady, it glowed with the reddish yellow of gulmohars and sparkled with the whiteness of the bungalows. And it was silent. The only sound she heard was from the chirping mynahs and the rustling leaves; the roar of the traffic had been left far behind.
A few bungalows down they saw it. Hawa Mahal. What was the fuss all about? It was an ordinary apartment building, as out of place amongst its neighbours as a dhoti-clad villager in a five-star hotel. Its pale pink turreted façade, pyramidal in shape, was faded and worn, and vaguely reminded her of an old palace she had seen during a college trip to Rajasthan. There wasn't a patch of green in the compound, or rather, the parking lot. The heavy iron gate on which 'Hawa Mahal' was emblazoned, was rusted and chipped, the last letter of the first word missing. Haw Mahal, she read, not in the least amused.
Ugly was the word for it. All four storeys of it. The design was a silly mix of the ancient and the modern, the arched roofs and hanging cornices a garish contrast to the straight lines of the balconies. The numerous niches, each enclosing long, narrow windows with intricate latticework in stone, meant only one thing – stifling, claustrophobic interiors.
Smita was still frowning when Karan swerved into the building at twenty kilometres per hour, coming to an abrupt halt in front of the entrance, just avoiding running over a slightly built Nepali in a faded banyan and flapping khaki shorts. Karan jumped out, his six-foot frame towering over the stranger blocking his path. Side-stepping the Nepali deftly, he beckoned to Smita to join him.
'Parking not for visitors saabji,' bleated the man.
Karan bristled. 'Who says we are visitors?'
The man's face fell, and his wide, staring eyes remained fixed on them as they walked into the building. 'I'm Ram Bahadur, watchman,' he muttered, as if talking to himself.
Karan was already in the lobby, if you could call it that. Narrow and box-like, it reminded her of an abandoned train compartment. She wrinkled her nose at an odd smell. It couldn't be a dead rat; it was more synthetic, and made her feel a little queasy in the stomach. Karan was calling out to her, and she joined him on the first-floor landing, outside apartment number three.
'Captain saabji not mention name,' said a squeaky voice behind them. Startled, they turned around. Bahadur had followed them.
Karan gently steered Smita into the apartment and banged the door shut behind him, right in the watchman's face. 'Retard.' He turned to Smita. 'Are you going to just stand there or look around?'
She steeled herself to see an apartment as oppressive as the stairwell. The first thing she noticed were the long, narrow windows with stone latticework which cut out most of the light. The rooms were shadowy but spacious, and each room had its own balcony. Attached to the sitting room, beyond the French windows, was a large, terrace-like space. Flinging open the French windows, she stepped outside, breathing in the scent of the sea. She loved the sweet, sultry, salty smell of it; she had missed it all these years in Delhi. The gulmohar was so close she could touch the scarlet flowers and yet soak in the warmth of the sun filtering through.
The curious eyes of the Nepali sitting on the stone ledge at the gate brought her back to earth.
'Like it?' Karan had come up behind her.
She turned around. The intensity in Karan's dark, long-lashed eyes was startling. Almost as if her liking the apartment mattered to him, almost as if he would change his mind if she asked him to. 'I don't like the stone jalis. It feels like a prison.'
Karan's bushy eyebrows came together in a "V," making him look ill-tempered, distorting his handsomeness. 'You prefer the company flat at Dadar? It's half this size, right next to the railway line.'
'You didn't show it to me.'
'Show you a place which I know you'll hate? A noisy, poky little flat with one tiny balcony? Really Smita, you always oppose me just for the sake of it! I told you, I got this place for a bargain!'
Fifty thousand per month for a three-bedroom apartment in this area was a good deal, but she didn't like to be hurried and he knew it, and till now had seemed to understand it. Why was he pushing her now? It wasn't as if she was saying no, all she wanted was to look at more houses; after all they had been in Mumbai for just a week. And she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something off about this place. Great locality it may be, large it may be, but places, like people, gave off vibes, and she wasn't getting the right vibes. The apartment seemed alright, but something in it or around it wasn't. The problem was, Karan wouldn't understand.
'It's got everything,' Karan was saying, his words tumbling over each other. 'A ground for the kids to play, parking space, watchmen for both night and day, and the best thing: great neighbourhood. Rich people live here, Smee.'
'But why don't you want to see more houses?'
He continued as if she hadn't spoken. 'People here don't throw garbage out of windows. They don't spit or leer. This is where we belong. With decent people.'
He stood inches from her, his thick, soft hair falling over his spectacles, his Davidoff after-shave flooding her senses. She melted. It would have been easier if he had listened, but that was becoming rarer, and she didn't want to get into an argument, not now. After coming to Mumbai, most of their conversations had ended up in squabbles, so much so that he had started reminding her of Akshay. Akshay had been a bully – she stopped herself. No, it wasn't fair to compare them, Karan wasn't like Akshay, and in this last year he had been good to her. It was she who was being difficult.
'Okay,' she said.
'We'll move in on Wednesday.' He took off his designer jacket, flung it over his shoulders and walked towards the door with a spring in his step. 'Damn the weather! I had forgotten how humid Mumbai is!'
Karan had been born and brought up in Mumbai as well, not that she knew much about his childhood; he had told her very little, and clammed up if she broached the subject.
'Are you sure about this, Karan?' she asked as they made their way out.
He made an impatient gesture. 'Why shouldn't I be? For god's sake, stop whining. The children will love it here, the landlord told me there are families here, with kids.'
She gave up.
On the way back he lectured her on how lucky they were to have got an apartment like this, as large chunks of Mumbai's population of thirteen million lived in slums, and most of the others in cramped apartments on smoky, noisy roads. Living in JWD was not like living in Mumbai at all, he said. Besides, in localities like these, security guards usually outnumbered the residents, and that ensured a high degree of safety.
Safe it certainly was not, thought Smita as she stood in her neighbour's sitting room a few days later. She hardly dared to breathe. Her neighbour, Ria Khan, a widow from the apartment opposite theirs, was dead. She lay slumped on a floral, red Kashmiri carpet, clad in a blue kaftan with a yellow lining, her head at an odd angle from her body and a gruesome greyish tinge on her skin. A birthday card with an embossed picture of red roses sat on her chest, right next to a speckled, crimson flower from a gulmohar tree.
There was a faint smell in the room and it seemed familiar. Why in the world was it familiar? Smita's fingers trembled as she pushed away a strand of hair away from her face. If the murder had happened before they moved in, would Karan still have insisted on moving in? Karan, she thought with a feeling of disquiet, liked being surrounded by the uber-rich. It was as if they formed a halo around him. He had never been at ease at their apartment in Delhi's Sadanand Society, a middle-class colony in Paschim Vihar.
Smita looked around her. Luxurious teak wood furniture; soft, upholstered sofas; fragile, dancing figurines on peg tables; a photograph of Bollywood's current heart-throb Pratique Khan in a silver frame; and a gigantic multi-coloured painting of horses – was it a Husain? There was a surreal quality to the scene, as if they had stepped onto a movie set. The woman who lived upstairs, the wide-eyed Neera Koshi, was a fellow spectator.
'Pratique's her son, you know,' said Neera, tapping Smita's shoulder.
Neera's casual attitude grated on her and Smita turned away, feeling sick to her stomach. It was time to get out of here. But Neera held on to her arm, continuing in her high-pitched, nasal voice: 'Don't feel bad for her, yaar. She was a bad type, going around with all sorts of men, and I bet one of her exes offed her, in revenge. He knew it was her birthday for sure! He didn't take any of her stuff, look, nothing is gone. Look at those stones on her fingers!'
There was a multitude of rings on Ria's fingers. Smita had never seen such large diamonds in her life. There was a diamond snake ring with red rubies for eyes, a white gold ring with a cluster of diamonds and an engraved silver one. One ring in particular stood out – a pentagon-shaped one studded with diamond chunks and a large ruby at its centre. Around her neck was a thick gold chain, its glittering diamond pendant contrasting hideously with the purple bruise in the hollow of her throat.
A trickle of bile crawled up Smita's throat. 'I'm going home.' …
Links to Purchase Print Books
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Have you read this book? Tell us what you thought! All information was provided by the author and not edited by us. This is so you get to know the author better.


text:
I will present recent work investigating the extent to which the CMB can serve
as an indirect probe of neutrino mass models that contain a light neutrino-philic
goldstone boson (or bosons). As a specific example I will focus the case where the type-I seesaw mechanism is realized from the spontaneous breaking of a global B-L symmetry, the pseudo goldstone boson here being identified as the majoron. I will show that current observations by Planck allow one to constrain symmetry breaking scales as high as ~ 1 TeV for majoron masses near the ~ eV scale. I will then discuss the current status of the so-called Hubble tension, and show that the present of a light majoron can help ameliorate this outstanding discrepancy.
Please join the meeting by clicking this link:
*_IMPORTANT:_*we have changed the videoconferencing and we will use Blackboard Collaborate from now on. The interface is very similar to the Adobe Connect one; however, we encourage you to connect 5 minutes in advance to become familiar with the new system. We have tested it on Mac OS with Chrome, and Linux with Firefox, and both worked fine for us.
Update your browser to view this website correctly. Update my browser now


text:
(01-23-2017, 09:00 AM)CosmicTruth Wrote:(01-16-2017, 04:46 PM)cuppy Wrote: Can someone help me make this logo for my Cuboid
Is this a commercial request? You do not have permission to take my logo and use it for advertisements or resale for profit of any kind without purchasing a commercial license (which is fairly cheap).
PM me for more information before loading this logo
(01-12-2017, 05:39 AM)scaldyballs Wrote: Just reported a full page of spam, theres another 2 pages which Im sure the posters wont want to read through so just throwing it out there agian, if someoen could make one with "SEANY" in it is all that would be great. Sorry bout posting again I just didnt want me last post to be stuck in the middle of 3 pages of spam.
Thanks for reporting the spam, the bots do that not the aliens.
(01-05-2017, 07:46 AM)Stoney052 Wrote: Can anyone convert this:
I am having a heck of a time for some reason.
The problem is too big of a palate, it has to be 64x40 monocolor, greyscale wont work.
this one will work, notice the filesize is 382b
Thank you very much. Your work is very much appreciated.


text:
Thinking Green: Green Workplace
Make it work, people.
Did you know we spend something like fifty percent of our waking hours at work?
Take that little tidbit in to the office with you with your sustainable coffee and vegan bento lunch box.
They're just a couple ways you can get to work on making the planet greener while you're hard at work on your career.
And here are some more easy tips on other ways to make for a greener workplace with Danny Lipford in this week's Thinking Green.


text:
Tweeting at the Meeting | B.J. Rimel, MD
Twitter is an online news and social media feed that uses brief posts (140 characters) to communicate and connect people with information. That little blue bird icon on the side of the news story you are reading or next to the online menu that you just looked up is your direct link to Twitter. The journalist who wrote the story and the chef who made the menu want you to share your thoughts about their content. So does the SGO!
Continue reading


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Buñuel is more comfortable with the so-called subconscious (or dreaming mind) than any other artist in any genre that I am aware of. In film only Lynch and Tarkovsky come close. Everyone else is light years away. In flavor however he is quite different. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie is a comedy. I have yet to find any humor (or even joy) in a Tarkovsky film. And while Lynch is capable of humor, it is a darker, heavier and not very funny kind of humor. Discreet Charm is light and funny and this in itself is, in my view, a sign of Buñuel's comfort with the dreaming mind.
Something chafes against such a characterization. And while Discreet Charm is light and funny that is not to say it is easy to understand. No, better to say it is too easy and therefore easy to misunderstand. We see it and think we know it because in fact we do. And yet we don't like to say that one can be "comfortable" with the subconscious. We want to say it involves a struggle, that it is deeply perturbing, deeply disquieting getting to "know" oneself. It's not supposed to be easy. In this sense Tarkovsky feels right. His films are a struggle.
But is this true? Does "knowing oneself" have to be a struggle? Or is that the wrong question? Are we speaking not of a condition but a process, a process that depends on time and circumstances?
Are there not times when one is comfortable with the fact that one does not "know" oneself in a certain sense after all? It has often been noted that in Buñuel's films the irrational constantly interrupts law, order and rational thought. It also interrupts normal ideas of the self. Buñuel is content to rest on the surface of such questions. This does not make his films superficial or deprive viewers of opportunities for deep thought. But if you're not inclined to go there you'll miss them. Buñuel has simply made an art that evokes the kind of feeling one has for one's relationship to such issues, such as the everyday encounters one has with the oddities, peculiarities or uncanniness of the dream-world, that fuzzy-headed I had the weirdest dream experience. Some folks don't place any importance whatsoever on their dreams. Others don't remember a single one. Unless they are inclined to think about their place in the full light of the waking world such viewers aren't likely to get much out of a Buñuel film.
One commentator described Discreet Charm as "grandpa comedy".* The film dates from 1972 and younger viewers may have seen Twin Peaks and other Lynch films. Compared to them, Buñuel might look like Lynch Lite. But allow me to reformulate my original question: is it a disservice to one's relationship with oneself to laugh? Not that old cliche of refusing to take oneself too seriously, but learning how to laugh in the "face" of identity itself like that grown man in the Gombrowicz novel who made faces every time he looked at himself in the mirror.
Obviously the title of the film is tongue in cheek. Oh, aren't they cute! Those people who are so clueless about their appetites! Cute but horrifying as well. The curtain goes up and we're all onstage exposed as players, and what were our lines? What are our lines when habitual context is disturbed for whatever reason, from rain to death? Discreet Charm is a sophisticated film for those who have spent the time becoming acquainted and therefore comfortable with a broad range of their entire minds. The mirror is up. Who do you see?
*Criterion Creeps podcast


text:
VP Henry Quatermain LV.2 Lurker
Join The Republic of America on Red Dead Online.
As Vice President of the Republic of America let me personally offer you a chance to join the best governmental and non-griefing community on Red Dead Online. My community looks forward to seeing you join the greatest RDO community. Learn more at www.ROA-COMMUNITY.com.
Home | The Republic of America The ROA is a Red Dead Online government that seeks to provide an immersive role-play experience using our randomly generated operations provided by the Assistant Bot. www.roa-community.com
Comment 5
- TypicalPsycho21 LV.7 Nomad Jan 21, 2020, 10:31 AM
hey I can't join the discord and this sounds like a really cool crew that I woold love to join
- VP Henry Quatermain LV.2 Lurker Jan 21, 2020, 03:31 PM
We use discord as the main communications system for our community. I really recommended trying to get Discord as it really is a great tool.
- TypicalPsycho21 LV.7 Nomad Jan 22, 2020, 08:20 AM
I do have it I just can't join threw the site
- VP Henry Quatermain LV.2 Lurker Jan 22, 2020, 12:49 PM
The link is active.
- TypicalPsycho21 LV.7 Nomad Jan 24, 2020, 09:44 AM
I really can't join it


text:
Single Family Attached
- 4 beds
- 5 baths
- $525,000 price
- 1926073 mls id
- Square Feet: 3,460 sqft
- Year Built: 2010
EXQUISITE family home located on Greystone Farm Drive in Corbin. This custom built French-Mediterranean style home sits on 2.4 acres and has 3460 sq ft of exquisite architectural details with a state of the art design. The sellers spared no expense in building this beautiful stucco home. Home offers 4 bedrooms, 5 baths, large custom built walk-in closets with separate guest quarters that include a full kitchen, living room, bedroom, full bath and laundry room. Geothermal HVAC, gas fireplace, home office, open floor plan and a large bonus room upstairs in the main house. The covered back porch was an exceptional addition and boasts breathtaking, sunrise views. If you're looking for luxury in a prime Corbin location, schedule your appointment today to view this very special place.
- Site Link
- Style 2 Story
Courtesy of: CENTURY 21 Advantage Realty
Office Phone: +16068780021
Listing Agent: Amanda Heuser
Updated: 29th March, 2020 8:27 AM.
146 Greystone Farm Dr Corbin, KY


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Showing 1-20 of 174
By: N/A
Price: $4.80
Publisher: Limoilou, Quebec., L'Armee de Marie.: 1979
Seller ID: 22465
Condition: Very Good
12mo - 19 x 14 cm.; 132 pp. A collection of seven articles all originally published in the monthly French language paper "L'Armée de Marie". The translations are by Earl Massecar. Minor wear and soiling to the covers, the front cover has the beginnings of a vertical crease and a previous owner's name is on the first page, otherwise clean and sound. View more info
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Price: $5.40
Publisher: Stockbridge, Massachusetts., Our Lady of Czestochowa Foundation.: 1981
Seller ID: 25626
Condition: Very Good+
12mo - 19 x 12 cm.; (8) - 155 - (1) pp. Full colour pictorial front cover with black lettering on the spine. Originally written in Polish and translated, with some editing, into English by the Polish Roman Catholic Clergy of the Diocese of Worcester, Massachusetts. First published as such in 1955, this is a later printing. The cover egdes show mild shelf wear, the interior is clean and the binding is tight. View more info
By: N/A
Price: $6.40
Publisher: Ottawa, Ontario., Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops.: 1987
Seller ID: 28916
Condition: Very Good
4to - 25.5 x 17.5 cm.; Marian Year, 1987-1988: 124 pp. (ISBN 0889971633). Blue card covers with white lettering and art work. A collection of approved and recommended liturgies, prayers and devotions for the Marian Year as celebrated in Canada. Foreword by Bishop James L. Doyle. Marian Year Prayers: 44 pp. (ISBN 0889971641). Blue paper covers with white lettering and art work. A further collection of suitable prayers and litanies for the Marian Year. Both are included. View more info
By: (G. Philips, J. B. Carol, G. M. Corr, M. Jugie, J. M. Keane)
Price: $16.00
Publisher: Italy, 1952
Seller ID: 16315
Condition: Good
8vo - 23.5 x 16 cm.; 194 - 32 pp. Ephemerides Mariologiae Cura Patrum Ordinis Servorum Mariae Facultatis Theologicae Collegii Internationalis S. Alexii Falconierie de Urbe. Articuli: Philips, G. "sommes nous-entres dans une phase mariologique?"; Carol, J.B., OFM. "Our Lady's Coredemption in the Marian Literature of Nineteenth Century America"; Corr, G. M., OSM. "The Assumption of O. L. and the Church of England"; Jugie, M., AA. "Le dogme de l'Assomption et le chapitre XII de l'Apocalypse"; Keane, J. M., OSM. "The Mariology of G. K. Chesterton's Poetry". ... View more info
By: Aguilera, D. Francisco M. (Obispo Auxiliar de Mexico) (edited by Jose Ignacio Echeagaray).
Price: $24.00
Publisher: Mexico City, Mexico., Ediciones Buena Nueva.: 1981
Seller ID: 28106
Condition: Very Good
4to - 30.5 x 23 cm.; 299 - (5) pp. The text is in Spanish. Issued in commemoration of the 450th anniversary, 1531 - 1981. Lavishly illustrated with many full colour and full page colour photographs along with black and white photographs and reproductions. "Preambulo del Emmo. Sr. Cardenal D. Ernesto Corripio Ahumada, Arzobispo Primado de Mexico". "Epilogo del Revmo. Sr. D. Guillermo Schulenburg Prado, Abad de Guadalupe". Three page index of the illustrations and a 3 page general index. Minor edge wear to the covers, the spine is a tad tanned and there is a 3 cm closed tear in t... View more info
By: Alban, Francis with Christopher A. Ferrara Esq.
Price: $7.65
Publisher: Pound Ridge, New York., Good Counsel Publications.: 2013
Seller ID: 31559
Condition: Fine
8vo - 23 x 16 cm.; (10) - 294 pp. This is volume 1 only and was first published in 1997, this being the fifth edition, revised and updated. Illustrated with black and white photographs. One page select bibliography. An as-new and unused book. View more info
By: Alonso CMF., Joaquin Maria.
Price: $6.00
Publisher: Cambridge, Massachusetts., Ravengate Press.: 1982
Seller ID: 28209
Condition: Very Good
8vo - 20 x 13.5 cm.; vii - (1) - 122 pp. First published in Spanish in 1976 then translated by the Dominican Nuns of the Perpetual Rosary in 1979, this is the second English printing. From the back cover: "Father Alonso . . . presents a careful, documented study of the secret, sifting out truth from falsehood and placing the undisclosed part of the Fatima message in proper perspective to the whole." Small bump / crease on the top fore corner of thr front cover, otherwise the book is clean with a sound binding. View more info
Price: $12.00
Publisher: Milwaukee, Wisconsin., Bruce Publishing: 1963
Seller ID: 16306
Condition: Very Good in Very Good dust jacket
8vo - 21 x 14 cm.; xii, 131 pp. Approbations present. Preface by Sister M. Madeleva, CSC. Bringing "a knowledge of philosophy and a respect for its principles which enable her to avoid pious excess", Sister Annice "explores the nature, qualities, attributes of Mary . . ." Blue cloth-covered boards with white spine lettering. Light edgewear on boards; binding tight and text pages clean. Dust jacket has light soiling and minor edgewear. View more info
By: Arellano, Fr. Edgardo. (editor).
Price: $72.00
Publisher: Rome, Italy., Two Hearts Media Organization.: 1997
Seller ID: 30275
Condition: Very Good in Very Good dust jacket; xxx - 412 pp. Gray / black cloth over boards with gilt lettering on the spine and the front board. Documents of the 1997 International Theological Pastoral Symposium of the Alliance of the Hearts of Jesus and Mary. The symposium took place in Rome on April 4 - 6 of 1997. Contents: "Alliance of the Two Hearts and Scripture" by Ft. Ignace de la Potterie, "Alliance of the Two Hearts and Magisterium" by Canon René Laurentin, "Alliance of the Two Hearts and Christology" by Fr. Angelo Amato, "Alliance of the Two Hearts and Pneumatology" by Fr. Terence McGuckin, "Alliance of the Two Hearts and Spirituality" by Fr. Tomás Spidlik, "Alliance of the Two Hearts and Liturgy" by Fr. Ignazio Calabuig, "Alliance of the Two Hearts and Mariology" by Fr. Arthur Burton Calkins, "Alliance of the Two Hearts and Ecclesiology" by Fr. Georges Marie Cottier, "Alliance of the Two Hearts and Pastoral Theology" by Rev. Jesus Varela, "Alliance of the Two hearts and Morals" by Edouard Cardinal Gagnonm, :Various Theological and Pastoral Resolutions", "Keynote Address" by Ricardo J. Cardinal Vidal, "Privilege Speech on Family Life" by Alfonso Cardinal Lopez-Trujillo, "Theology of the Cross and Reparation" by Fr. Terence McGuckin, "Second Day Homily" by Jose Cardinal Sanchez, "Third Day Homily" by Ricardo J. Cardinal Vidal. Appendices, bibliography and indices follow. The front free end paper has been removed, otherwise the book and jacket show minor wear to the externals and the interior is clean with a solid binding.
8vo - 21 x 15 cm.; xxx - 412 pp. Gray / black paper over boards with gilt lettering on the spine and the front board. The documents from the 1997 International Theological Pastoral Symposium on the Alliance of the Hearts of Jesus and Mary. The symposium was held from April 4th to 6th of 1997. Foreword by Edouard Cardinal Gagnon and an introduction by Canon Rene Laurentin. Contents: "Alliance of the Two Hearts and Scripture" by Fr. Ignace de la Potterie, "Allianc eof the Two Hearts and magisterium" by Canon Rene Laurentin, "Aloliance of the Two Hearts and Chrisyology" by Fr. Angelo Amato, "Alli... View more info
By: Ashton, Joan.
Price: $4.80
Publisher: San Francisco, California., Harper & Row.: 1989
Seller ID: 22437
Condition: Very Good+
8vo - 21 x 14 cm.; [14] - 223 pp. Foreword by Alberic Stacpoole OSB. From the back cover: "Beginning with a detailed account of the much publicized and documented appearances of Mary, the Mother of Christ, at Medjugorie, Yugoslavia, Joan Ashton explores the phenomena of these miraculous apparitions of the Virgin throughout the centuries and around the world. Mother of All Nations is a chronicle of these visions". Previous owner's small inked note on one of the blank pages at the back, otherwise very and tight showing only very mild shelf wear to the covers. View more info
Price: $5.60
Publisher: Notre-Dame du Cap, Quebec., Novalis.: 1988
Seller ID: 18003
Condition: Very Good
8vo - 21 x 13.5 cm.; 176 pp. Father Aubin presents the Catholic Church's teaching on Mary in simple, straightforward language. He served for many years at the shrine of Notre-Dame du Cap in Quebec. Minor edgewear; binding sturdy, text pages clean. View more info
By: Baker, J. Robert and Barbara Budde. (editors).
Price: $13.50
Publisher: Chicago, Illinois., Liturgy Training Publications.: 2002
Seller ID: 33202
Condition: Near Fine
8vo - 23 x 15 cm.; x - 147 pp. A collection of material, both old and new, about Mary grouped into sections that are headed by a phrase from the "Hail Mary". Rather nice. Ten pages of end notes at the back. Remainder dot on the tail edge of the text bock, otherwise an as-new and unused book. View more info
Price: $7.20
Publisher: Ottawa, Ontario., Editions De L'Universite Ottawa: 1946
Seller ID: 7119
Condition: Good+
12mo - 19.5 x 12.5 cm.; 293 pp. The text is in French. A look at Mary and Marian devotions considering some of her titles and virtues. Includes reflections on the 15 mysteries of the rosary. Wraps are soiled and the text block edges are darkened. Many pages are unopened on head edge. The frontis is a b/w photograph of the miraculous statue from Notre-Dame de Cap. View more info
Price: $8.00
Publisher: Notre Dame du Cap, Quebec, Editions du Sanctuaire:
Inscription: Signed by Author
Seller ID: 16914
Condition: Very Good-
12mo - 19.5 x 12.5 cm.; 285 pp. The text is in French. Inscribed by Father Barabe on half-title page. Card stock covers have a thinned section on the front, some general wear; binding sturdy, text pages clean.; Signed by Author View more info
By: Barbaric OFM., Fr. Slavko.
Price: $6.40
Publisher: Milford, Ohio., Faith Publishing.: (1993)
Seller ID: 27544
Condition: Very Good+
8vo - 21.5 x 14 cm.; vii - 110 pp. First published as "U Sole Ljube" in 1993 and translated from this original Croatian into English by the Sarcevic family. An assemblage of the messages from the Blessed Virgin in her appearances at Medjugorje, in particular those that have come to be known as her "school of love". Previous owner's name neatly blacked out on the first page and the inside of the front cover. Otherwise very clean and tight. View more info
By: Barbaric OFM., Fr. Slavko.
Price: $9.00
Publisher: Medjugorje, Bosnia., Parish Office of Medjugorje.: 1995
Seller ID: 31064
Condition: Very Good+
8vo - 20 x 14 cm.; xiii - 309 pp. Illustrated with 10 full colour and full page photographs. Three page preface by Sister Emmanuel. Minor shelf wear to the fore corners of the covers, else fine. View more info
By: Barbaric OFM., Fr. Slavko.
Price: $11.25
Publisher: Medugorje, Bosnia and Herzegovina., Informativni Centar Medugorje.: 2012
Seller ID: 31772
Condition: Near Fine
8vo - 20 x 12 cm.; 260 pp. Translated into English by Isabel Bettwy and edited by Kresimir Sego. Previous owner's gift note on the first page, otherwise fine. View more info
By: Bedard, Fr. Bob.
Price: $9.00
Publisher: Orleans, Ontario., Koinonia Enterprises: 1989
Seller ID: 32572
Condition: Very Good+
8vo - 21.5 x 14 cm.; (10) - 214 pp. Short reflections about his experiences in Medjugorje from 1984 to 1989 by Father Bedard, founder of the Companions of the Cross. Light wear on covers otherwise tight and clean. View more info
Price: $9.00
Publisher: Orange, California., In the Arms of Mary Foundation.: 2005
Seller ID: 33061
Condition: Near Fine
8vo - 21.5 x 14 cm.; xxxix - 184 pp. First published in 2002, this is the revised second edition. Translated from the Polish by the Very Rev. Jaroslaw Zaniewski and edited by Frederick Baedeker, Michelle Curtis and Phyllis Crews. Five forewords by Theodore Cardinal McCarrick, Norberto Cardinal Rivera Carrera, Ricard Maria Cardinal Carles Gordo, Jaime Cardinal L. Sin and Stephen Cardinal Kim Sou-hwan with an introduction by Rev. Tadeusz Dajczer. Previous owner's name and heart felt inscription on the blank top half of the second leaf. Very minor wear to the edges of the covers, otherwise clean ... View more info
By: Bourgerie, Denis and Suzel.
Price: $5.40
Publisher: Campinas, Brazil., Edicoes Logos.:
Seller ID: 29436
Condition: Fine
8vo - 21 x 14 cm.; 98 pp. Translated from the Portuguese, "Maria, Passa na Frente", (twenty-second edition?) and the French second edition. An as-new and unused book. The shipping cost for this small item will be reduced when ordered. View more info


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Better Leaders Better Schools guest Karine Veldhoen, M. Ed. is the founder of Learn Forward and a creative force in education. She's also the Chief Learning Officer at Willowstone Academy, the CEO/Founder of Niteo Africa, a former Education Consultant for Fresh Grade and a modern day Learn Forward represents a lifetime of her professional study, action research, and meaning-making within the context of education. Driven by her passion for making a difference in the lives of others, Karine's been exploring the most important journeys of children through serving as the Chief Learning Officer at Willowstone Academy for the last 10 years and as an educator for over 20 years. In her talks about the transformation of education, she emphasizes the importance of cultivating a connection between school and home and uses the Table of Learning as a metaphor for where we can begin. In this episode you will learn: Power of being a learner Don't take things so personally How to frame experiences in healthy ways Power of letting go The story of starting Learn Forward The 5 most important journeys of a child Brutal honesty + trust How to invite practice into your community Self-care Vision building How to get on the same page as a couple Resources Learn Forward The Courage to Teach The Artist's Way Touchstones (free) resource On Being Connect with Karine ... on Twitter on LinkedIn Do you need accountability? Text BETTERMASTERMIND to 33444 Daniel wants to work with you and help you accelerate your leadership development and increase your impact. Follow Me and Get Behind the Scenes Access on SNAPCHAT!!!
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Another question I have for Assassin users: How do Beat-up work?
Is it effected by force damage? Does it have the chance to critical on the targeted enemy? Essentially, I am asking if it functions as a 1v1 attack, with an AOE bonus, which would make it a unique skill. I could of sworn I actually missed a hit of Beat up before, despite its AOE function. I know it hits twice, but I am wondering if this could be a "replacement" for Sore Sword with better damage, only with a slightly longer start-up/animation.
Second question: Does Blind even work?
I know some users have claimed that this skill is bugged, but, is it really? Sometimes with level 1 it "feels" like I am doing more damage when I cast it, but it could be a placebo effect. It may just be damage variance playing tricks with me (we know critical fluctuations can be high). It would be an interesting contrast to Pike's to have the skill stay active after attacking, but would that be OP?
Last question: How is Assassin Hit Rate?
I have no idea if Attack Mastery is working as intended or not, but I have always had it at level 10. In i1 and i2, it seems like I miss 1 out of 2 attacks on Sore Sword "sometimes". If attack mastery added 62% of your TOTAL attack rating, you would have ~1600 attack rating with 1000 base AR. Seems decent, however, it sometimes feels like I am missing alot (I know normal attacks are not effected because I miss a significant amount).
Where is the balance if Assassin's get no additional AR, no multi hit attacks (over 2), lower critical (hunting), less defense over Pike? Yeah, Beat-up seems to be a decent attack (dwindling the HP of surrounding mobs while focusing on 1) combined with Shadow Bomb, but Pike's still have tornado, a fast AOE with no target limit and 360 degree range.


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Section Navigation
Contact: Lydia McDermott, Director of the Center for Writing and Speaking
Courses in composition are designed to enable students across majors and disciplines to advance their writing skills. As such, composition courses serve all divisions. Instructors vary.
Distribution: Courses completed in composition apply to the humanities distribution area.
107 Syntax and Grammar
x, 4 Burgess
This course begins with a grounding in descriptive English syntax and grammar. A brief consideration of historical linguistics will allow students to analyze English syntax within the context of related Indo-European languages. The final section of the course applies close stylistic analysis to texts and utterances from a variety of discourse communities.
170 Language and Writing
4, 4; Fall: DiPasquale, McDermott; Spring: Schlegel
A course designed to examine the nature and function of language and rhetoric and to provide extensive writing experience for students.
210 Intermediate Composition
4, 4; Fall: Stoberock; Spring: Terry
An intermediate writing course for students interested in composition processes and in written rhetoric across genres. Students will be given extensive practice in developing academic prose style. Not open to first-year students.
310 Theory & Practice of Tutoring Writing
x, 2 McDermott
This course is designed to prepare you to be an effective and confident writing tutor. It will introduce you to major theories on peer-tutoring, debates concerning the teaching of writing, and practical techniques for dealing with difficult situations in the process of tutoring. You will leave the course having conducted genre-specific research, having developed your own tutoring philosophy, and with a portfolio of strategies for tutoring from yourself and your peers. One of our goals is to create a community of knowledgeable and supportive writing center tutors who can then work as a team within the writing center. Not open to first semester students.
320 Advanced Composition
4; not offered 2015-16
An advanced course in writing studies for students interested both in advancing understanding of their own writing processes and styles as well as in learning broader theories of composition and rhetoric across the curriculum. Not open to first-year Students.


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Calcium carbonate raymond mill, also known as Calcium carbonate Raymond Grinder or Calcium carbonate Raymond roller mill, is designed by CLIRIK Machinery with Germany technology.The Calcium carbonate raymond mill is more efficient than ball mill in some area, with features of closed circuit for high fine powder devices.
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Calcium Carbonate. It constitutes more than 4% of the earth's crust. In soluble form it is dissolved in rivers and oceans where plants and animals absorb it and use it to build skeletons and shells. As an industrial mineral it is an ideal raw material because of the diversity of grades it can produce.
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Limestone is used as a filler in a variety of products, including paper, plastic, and paint. The purest limestone is even used in foods and medicines such as breakfast cereals and calcium pills. Limestone is also the raw material for making lime (CaO) that is used to treat soils, purify water, and smelt copper. Lime has many additional uses in the chemical industries.
It is a common food additive and may be added to milk to restore protein for cheese making, used in pickles, canned foods, in sports drinks and bottled water. Uses of Calcium Chloride in Food. Calcium Chloride is added to pickles in order to bring out their naturally
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May 24, 2019You need to mix the egg shell with an acid to make it more bioavailable. Calcium carbonate does not absorb very well. You have to add the egg shell to a pure citrus juice, like lemon or lime. It will bubble and chemically react, turning it into calcium citrate which is a bit more absorbable (about 20-25%). Vinegar is also useful.
Calcium carbonate (CaCO 3) is the most widely used filler material in paper, paint, plastic, food, ceramic, cosmetic, medicine and other industries. In the present paper, precipitated calcium carbonate (PCC) has been produced from waste marble powder (WMP) by the
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A chemical compound with the formula CaCO3, calcium carbonate is commonly found in rocks present throughout the world. It also forms one of the main components of the shells of marine organisms, snails, pearls, and eggshells, apart from serving as an active ingredient in agricultural lime.
Calcium Carbonate is an odorless tasteless powder which is widely used for refining of sugar from sugar beet. Also, it is used for the effective treatment of mild calcium deficiency. It is extensively demanded in pharmaceuticals, sealants, cosmetic, pains, plastic and rubber industry.
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Another use of calcium carbonate is in medicine, where its applications include as a supplement to treat calcium deficiencies and an antacid for heartburn and indigestion. As an antacid, calcium carbonate is available in different forms, such as chewable tablets, liquids and capsules.
It is also used in construction industries as building materials. In particular, it is used to make cement or mortar which is used to hold blocks together. Again, calcium carbonate is used in the steel manufacturing companies. It is used specifically to absorb any impurity in the molten steel material.
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Calcium carbonate is a dietary supplement used when the amount of calcium taken in the diet is not enough. Calcium is needed by the body for healthy bones, muscles, nervous system, and heart. Calcium carbonate also is used as an antacid to relieve heartburn, acid indigestion, and upset stomach.
Then build up as you get to know your own tolerance. Calcium can sometimes cause digestive issues (although, as stated above, calcium carbonate is also used as an antacid!) You can also use calcium carbonate powder to make homemade toothpaste. You can find two great recipes for homemade tooth powder that help remineralize your teeth in this link!
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