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The Amsterdam to Budapest River Cruise: Introductory comments
Magnificent Europe, European Jewels or Grand European Tour – these are some of the names given to this 15-day river cruise from Amsterdam to Budapest. This is one of the most popular European river cruises and all the major cruise companies like Avalon Waterways, Uniworld and Viking River Cruises have this tour in their catalogue of cruises.
All the operators stop at the following destinations: Cologne, Rudesheim, Miltenberg, Wurzburg, Bamberg, Nuremberg, Regensburg, Passau, Melk, Vienna, Bratislava and Budapest. The current itineraries have not changed from when we did our trip.
On this cruise you get to sail through five countries and experience three magnificent European rivers as well as the Main-Danube Canal, an engineering marvel. You can also do the cruise in the reverse direction.
Our River Cruise Experience
We did the Magnificent Europe river cruise with Avalon Waterways a many years ago – they are now part of the Globus group. Those were the earlier days of river cruising, but we could tell then that it was going to take off like hotcake … and it has.
Our cruise was very pleasant, the scenery along the rivers were stunningly beautiful, the food, service and our stateroom on board our riverboat more than met our expectations and the land excursions took us to really interesting historic towns and villages.
Some people had a problem with the vibration of the boat, especially when going through locks – and there were many of these. At night, the rumbling can disturb your sleep especially if you're not a heavy sleeper. The new boats have improved engineering design aimed at reducing noise and vibrations. Many of the new boats now have internet access plus Wi-Fi hotspots, mini-bars and flat-screen satellite TV in the rooms, and complimentary wines and soft drinks seem to be a feature at meal time.
Based on the growth of the industry and popularity of river cruises, the passengers must be happy as more and more travellers are choosing river cruises as their holiday travel option.
Our river cruise with Avalon Waterways was aboard the MS Poetry, which has been replaced by a more upmarket MS Poetry II. We cruised on three rivers (Rhine, Main and Danube) and the Main-Danube Canal and went through five countries (Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Slovakia and Hungary).
Top Deck Stateroom
We had a cabin on the Royal Deck (ie the top deck) with a second cabin next door for Tony's mother who was 89 year old at the time. Being on the top deck was convenient for her because there were no steps to negotiate on her way to the dining room and lounge. Barbara could not manage steps easily and in the early days of river cruising, most ships did not have elevators.
The links below detail the Amsterdam to Budapest cruise itinerary and cover what we did at each port of call, our experience and comments. Although we did this Avalon cruise years ago, the route and itinerary are pretty much the same today, except for the exclusion of Wertheim, but with more sightseeing choices available. The newer river boats also have more amenities and there's more pampering services included.
Cruise Itinerary
You can jump to wherever interests you or just follow our links at the bottom of each page:
- DAY 1 Amsterdam. (Embarkation)
- DAY 2 Amsterdam.
- DAY 3 Cologne.
- DAY 3 Koblenz.
- DAY 4 Cruising the Middle Rhine.
- DAY 4 Rüdesheim.
- DAY 5 Miltenberg.
- DAY 5 Wertheim.
- DAY 6 Würzburg.
- DAY 7 Bamberg.
- DAY 8 Nuremberg.
- DAY 8 Continental Divide.
- DAY 9 Regensburg.
- DAY 9 Danube Gorge.
- DAY 10 Passau-Salzburg.
- DAY 11 Melk.
- DAY 11 Durnstein.
- DAY 12 Vienna.
- DAY 13 Bratislava.
- DAY 14 Budapest.
- DAY 15 Budapest (Disembarkation)
Here are links to Avalon web pages giving details of the ship facilities and accommodation. MS Poetry has been replaced by a more luxurious Poetry II, a member of Avalon's new fleet of "Suite Ships":
Avalon Poetry II selling points (Avalon call them"included values")
Be sure to check out our "Things to watch for" page too!
Next page: Amsterdam arrival and embarkation


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College Not 'Public Enemy' for Religiosity, Study Shows
College students are the least likely to abandon their faith than those who never pursued a college degree, a recent study revealed.
Researchers at The University of Texas at Austin found that college attendance appears to prevent young adults from losing their religion, contradicting widely held assumptions that students leave the church or their faith altogether during their college years.
The surprising research went further to find that those who never attended college had the highest rates of decline in church attendance (76.2 percent), diminished importance placed on religion (23.7 percent), and disaffiliation from religion (20.3 percent). Students who earned at least a bachelor's degree, on the other hand, had the lowest rates on those three factors with 59.2 percent indicating decreased church attendance and 15 percent placing less importance on religion and disaffiliating from religion.
"Simply put, higher education is not the enemy of religiosity that so many have made it out to be," researchers wrote in their "Losing My Religion" report which is featured in the June issue of the journal Social Forces.
Many church and youth leaders have expressed wide concern and fears that they are losing the younger generation. Jeff Schadt, coordinator of Youth Transition Network, says thousands of youth fall away from the church when transitioning from high school to college. He and other youth leaders estimate that 65 to 94 percent of high school students stop attending church after graduating.
Some point to the dangers of secular worldviews that are imparted onto students when receiving a college education. David Wheaton, author of University of Destruction calls secular college campuses "the most radical aspect of society" with many students losing their understanding of what it means to be a Christian.
"Many people assume college is public enemy number one for religion," said Mark Regnerus, assistant professor of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin and author of the book Forbidden Fruit: Sex and Religion in the Lives of American Teenagers.
"But we found young adults who don't experience college are far more likely to turn away from religion," he highlighted.
About 62 percent of Evangelical Protestant young adults attend a religious service less often than they did as adolescents, the latest study showed. But far fewer (19 percent) indicated a decline in the importance of religion and even fewer (16 percent) disaffiliated from religion.
Only religious participation suffers substantial declines in young adulthood, researchers noted.
Groups that are least likely to drop out of their religion are Jews, Catholics, black Protestants, women, Southerners, young adults whose parents are still married, and married young adults.
Overall, the overwhelming majority (82 percent) of college student maintain at least a static level of personal religiosity in early adulthood and 86 percent retain their religious affiliation.
"Religious faith is rarely seen as something that could either influence or be influenced by the educational process," researchers stated.
One reason researchers provided was that "while higher education opens up new worlds for students who apply themselves, it can, but does not often, create skepticism about old (religious) worlds, or at least not among most American young people, in part because students themselves do not perceive a great deal of competition between higher education and faith, and also because very many young Americans are so undersocialized in their religious faith (before college begins) that they would have difficulty recognizing faith-challenging material when it appears."
Also, universities are no longer viewed as being hostile to religion. Recently, they have been described "not as a breeding ground for apostasy, but as 'a breeding ground for vital religious practice and teaching,'" researchers noted.
Some of the nation's largest campus ministry groups are expanding their campus chapters and exploring new colleges, recognizing the growing interest in religion and spirituality on campuses.
Campus Crusade for Christ spokesman Tony Arnold says there is a "deep hunger for something" in students' lives.
"Losing My Religion" is based on data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, which tracked more than 10,000 Americans from adolescence through young adulthood from 1994 to 1995 and from 2001 to 2002.

subset: commoncrawl


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- Science
- Not Exactly Rocket Science
Sports results can affect election results
Anyone currently following the World Cup, Wimbledon, or any of the many sporting events around the world will know the emotional highs and lows that they can produce. But these events wield even more power than we think. According to Andrew Healy from Loyola Marymount University, sports results can even swing the outcome of an election.
In the US, if a local college football team wins a match in the ten days before a Senate, gubernatiorial or even presidential election, the incumbent candidate tends to get a slightly higher proportion of the vote. This advantage is particularly potent if the team has a strong fan-base and if they were the underdogs. Healy's study provides yet more evidence that voting decisions aren't just based on objective and well-reasoned analysis, despite their importance in democratic societies. They can be influenced by completely irrelevant events, putting the fate of politicians into the hands (or feet) of sportsmen.
Healy says that a victory by a local team puts sports fans in a generally positive frame of mind. If they approach the ballot box in this way, they're more likely to think well of the incumbent party, to interpret their past record more positively, and to be more content with the status quo. The same effect, where emotions cross the boundaries between different judgments, has been seen countless times before in laboratory studies.
When we're in a good mood, we overestimate the frequency of happy events in our lives, we interpret things around us more favourably, and we spend more time thinking about the positive sides of the things we're judging. These trends hold true even for things that have nothing to do with whatever made us happy. As an example, people think that their cars or televisions perform better if they received a free gift beforehand. And this applies to politicians too.
Healy looked at the results of local college football games between 1964 and 2008, for all counties with teams in the Bowl Championship Series. He compared these results to those of American presidential, gubernatorial and senate elections within the same counties. The numbers showed that if the local team won in the 10 days before the election, the incumbent's share of the vote went up by 0.8 percentage points – a small but statistically significant change. This effect became even bigger after Healy adjusted the results for how strong and consistent the teams were, or the wealth, education and ethnic diversity of the counties.
If Healy's explanation about positive moods is correct, you would expect football games to have a stronger influence in conditions where they engender stronger emotions. And that's exactly what happens. If the local underdog team won against expectations (as measured by looking at the odds given by betting offices), the incumbent's vote share went up by 1.61 percentage points. In counties where more people turn up to matches, or where the local team has a track record of championship wins, a local victory boosted the incumbent's vote share by between 2.30 and 2.42 percentage points.
These stats support Healy's idea that it's all about emotions. The buzz of seeing the local team win can translate to a feel-good factor for the current government, particularly if the victory was unexpected or if you're in an area that's football-mad. And in all these cases, games played after Election Day had no bearing on the incumbent's prospects.
Healy found the same effect in another sport and at an individual level, by showing that the performance of local teams in a basketball tournament affected people's approval of President Obama.
During the 2009 NCAA men's college basketball tournament, Healy asked over 3,000 people to name their favourite team and found that for every win the team achieved above the bookies' predictions, their approval rating for Obama went up by 2.3 percentage points. Again, the effect was strongest among the biggest fans. Victories garnered an extra 5 percentage points of support for the President among people closely following the tournament, but just 1.1 points among more casual supporters.
And this time, Healy embedded an experiment in his study. After asking the volunteers to name their team, he told half of them about the scores in recent games in great detail. Doing so completely nullified the effect of these games on Obama's approval ratings. That's critically important for it suggests that the link between sporting success, mood and voting decisions is a unconscious one. It also tells us that moving these considerations to the front of our minds can strip them of any influence.
Healy's work is just the latest of a long line of psychological studies that show us the irrational nature of voting. People make child-like judgments about a candidate's competence based on second-long glances at their faces, and they can predict the winner of an election with reasonable accuracy based on such short looks. The subliminal sight of a national flag can shift people's voting choices. And even undecided people have often secretly made their minds up, even if they have no clue that they've done so.
Now we see that events well beyond a politician's control can also affect their fates. Sports are an ideal avenue for exploring this effect. You wouldn't expect governments to respond to the outcomes of games, nor voters to hold governments responsible for such outcomes. And whether a school is privately or publicly funded had no bearing on the link between sporting and election results. And yet, sporting outcomes do seem to trigger small shifts at the ballots.
Imagine then the even greater influence of other events that could be reasonably tied to government performance, such as the health of the economy or the outcome of a natural disaster. As Healy says, "A voter who is presented with negative information about the local economy may perceive a separate news story about the president's foreign policy in a less positive light."
If that seems dangerous, the study also provides a silver lining – this effect is a fragile one. If you can make people aware of the reasons for their state of mind, the influence of irrelevant events becomes weaker – all the more reason to do research like this in the first place.
Reference: http://dx.doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1007420107 If the citation link isn't working, read why here
Images by Rama and Mike Kaplan
More on the psychology of voting and political attitudes:
- Undecided voters aren't really undecided – the hidden side of decision-making
- Voters use child-like judgments when judging political candidates
- Subliminal flag shifts political views and voting choices
- How light or dark is Barack Obama's skin? Depends on your political stance…
- Political attitudes linked to startle reflexes


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I recently took a 1:1 workshop with Jaime Ibarra – wanting to learn more about his technique for post-processing images. His approach to post-processing is strikingly different – and one which I enjoy. And he's also an amazing photographer as well!
Jaime and I spent a couple of hours together via Skype video talking about both his approach to photography, some new challenges for me, and then his approach to post-processing images in Photoshop. I've been to several photography workshops over the last couple of years – but this one was really unique and different – and I learned a lot!
Frankly, I expected our time together would focus mostly on post-processing – but we spent a lot of time upfront talking just about photography, what it means to us, how we approach it, how we're challenged by it, etc. That discussion was surprising for me – and enlightening. Great fun. Perhaps even more useful to me in terms of my wanting to learn about portrait shooting than the post-processing techniques Jaime subsequently shared.
So, what did I learn? Here's an example of an image I both shot and post-processed earlier today using some of what I learned from my workshop with Jaime. The colors are different – not exactly unusual, but different. Different enough to matter and capture the mood. The venue is the California Avenue Farmers Market in Palo Alto. The image is titled "Karmel Korn" – shot with my Canon 5D Mark II with the Canon 135mm f/2 lens.
Thanks to both Trey Ratcliff and Victor Cajiao for introducing me to Jaime.


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Computers are supposed to make our lives easier, but too much of the time they can be frustrating, time-wasting, stubborn machines. From the irritating "Access Denied" message when you can't remember your 147th password, to all the useless email that clutters your inbox, to IT lockdown restrictions that keep you from getting your job done, let's take a look at 10 of the more common gripes amongst computer users and our humble suggestions for fixing them.
10. Dashboard widgets (OS X).If you've got a newer or high-powered Mac that never seems to drag, then your Dashboard widgets are probably just a dandy little convenience. But those lacking memory or just sick of accidentally hitting F12 and getting their screen taken over by Dashboard could use a little help. If you just want to make the widgets go away for one session, you can install the simple Dashquit widget or use these terminal commands for the job. Killing multiple widgets, like those iterations that pop up from delivery trackers, is easier if you hold the Option key. And those looking for leaner, cleaner Dashboard can speed it up with some cache cleaning. And if you're really only hitting F12 for a single widget, try pulling it onto the desktop.
9. Remembering passwords.Yes, yes—the "duh" answer is "use Firefox to save your passwords," but even the mighty 'fox can be used more securely, and made to remember any password. For your other data, including login and encryption tools, you could try an easy universal password system, a randomizer like Diceware, or other tools like Strong Password Generator or the Password Chart. It beats trying to remember which combination of Simpsons character and three-digit number you used for that rarely-updated social network.
8. Google search result links are indirect, awkward, and too long to copy.If you're a power Googler who's constantly grabbing image, site, and news links from searches, you know that you don't actually get the direct link from right-clicking—you get more than a 100 characters of link-tracking gobbledy-gook. True, the link will get you there eventually, but it's not exactly email-friendly, and it's an unnecessary click-through. CustomizeGoogle, one of our Top 10 Must-Have Firefox Extensions, fixes this with just one of its many, many tweaks—"Remove click tracking," found in the first "Web" set of options. You'll get nice, clean links to copy or send, as illustrated (fourth-grade style) below:
7. Hours spent re-installing Windows XP (or Vista).It's usually only 20-30 minutes from slipping in that holographic XP or Vista CD/DVD to arriving at your new-car-fresh desktop, but it's often a few hours' work getting everything customized, updated, and tweaked to your liking. With the nLite tool for XP, or vLite for Vista, you can skip a ton of clicking and pop-up answering during installation and first boot-up—in the case of nLite, pretty much all of it. Here's a guide to slipstreaming XP Service Pack 3 into a new, automated installation CD, and the Digital Inspiration blog has a similar walk-through of vLite for Vista. nLite's also a great tool for creating a stripped-down, speedier XP for virtualization or older machines.
6. Windows Vista, in general.We really don't mean to rag on Windows in this list—in fact, let's admit that Windows Vista isn't as bad as one would believe from the common blog or news post. It does, however, have some quirks that can quickly nip at your last nerves. Luckily, fellow tech enthusiast and blogger The How-To Geek did us a solid by writing up 10 ways to make Windows Vista less annoying, each with a link to a detailed explanation over at his own site. Before you feel compelled to say it in the comments—yes, "Install XP on Your Vista Computer" is one of the tips.
5. RE: Fwd: Fwd: Email (and time-wasting email in general).There are tons of tools to improve your own productivity and stop wasting time on useless stuff—but not everybody got the memo, as you might notice from your inbox. Your best options for dealing with chain forwards, repetitive conversations, and other email gaffes are smart filters, including a fwd filter for those "Did you know" emails from Aunt Margie and Uncle Bif. Correspondents just not getting the message? Take the next step with an explanatory email etiquette page. Need proof that wasteful messages are eating up your time? Gmail/Google Apps users can take a detailed look at the waste with Mail Trends.
4. File copying freezes and awkwardness (Windows).You've got the entire run of "The Wire" in a 20 GB folder, and you've set it up to transfer to your external hard drive while you're at the movies. You get home, flick the monitor on, and ... well, Windows just gave up at some point, and you're ready to toss your keyboard. Free Windows add-on TeraCopy is exactly what you need. It makes file transfers faster, more consistent, and it provides realistic job times and status reports. You'll hardly notice it's there—which is just about perfect.
3. Office IT restrictions.You can understand why the tech gurus at work don't let those people install apps willy-nilly, change system settings, or check out certain web sites. You, however, are tech-savvy, responsible, and just need to IM this one client, for Pete's sake. We know your pain, and, luckily, Gina's assembled a guide to surviving IT lockdown that should get you around most IT restrictions. If you're all but chained to the default Internet Explorer and long for Firefox, you can still get some of its best features. Photo by cell105.
2. GIANT email attachments.Until a stable, easy-to-install Flux capacitor is available, you won't be able to go back in time and prevent your relatives, co-workers and goofy-humored friends from sending that "hilarious" 10 MB PowerPoint "joke." You can, however, mitigate the annoyance and damage done to your inbox. The best suggestion we've got for any nearly any account is to create a Gmail account to manage your other mail. That way, you can jump in and check your important messages, while your dedicated mail client is frozen trying to grab that huge file. You can then use tools like Gmail Drive (Windows), gDisk (Mac OS X), and GmailFS (Linux) to clear space-hogging attachments from your email accounts. Or you can just simply filter and kill giant attachments with Gmail's advanced search-and-filter tools. If you're stuck with big attachments in Outlook, there are ways of extracting attachments without having to open the actual email, using Outlook Attachment Remover or this simple trick described by the Digital Inspiration blog. The real solution? Get your friends or relatives a copy of Picasa or another photo manager that auto-magically shrinks pictures before sending. For every other file type, there's just courteous, unsolicited tech support emails.
1. All that crappy "default" software.Whether you're unpacking a new PC, helping out a friend, or sitting down at a new office system, you're more than likely going to find some, as Gina puts it, sucktackular software on there. Seriously, now—RealPlayer? Pop-ups asking to renew Norton/McAfee/Symantec? Limewire, for crying out loud? We've rounded up the free, and superior, alternatives to those persistent programs, and many of our suggestions are cross-platform, open source, and do a better job than the system-dragging softs you find in the wilds of computing.
We've covered lots and lots of other annoyances, computer-based and not, during Lifehacker's run, and we're sure you've got your own software tweaks you just couldn't take anymore. What irksome issues did you have to get rid of, and how did you do it? What irreplaceable software smooths out your desktop? Hop on the couch and share the pain in the comments.Found this Post interesting? Discover more Curious Reads.
[via lifehacker]


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You know the drill: eat right, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. And usually you do just that. But even the most disciplined person falls off the health wagon from time to time. Sometimes a demanding project, a special occasion, or an extended vacation can make it easy-and even necessary-to make exceptions.
But just because you slipped up doesn't mean you're doomed to give up your healthy routine altogether. Check out these tips on how to recover from three unhealthy (but all-too-common) moves.
Health.com: 25 Surprising Ways to Lose Weight
You majorly overindulged
Waking up with a food hangover after, say, an indulgent dinner party might make it tempting to try a juice cleanse to "detox," but there really is no such thing, Michele Olson, professor of exercise science at Auburn University at Montgomery said. "Your liver and kidneys take care of that," she said. "But you should try to get right back on track."
Olson recommends drinking 8 to 10 cups of water the following day, and skipping sweets, chips, and other "non-essential" foods. "Eat clean (fruits, vegetables, lean meat) and hit the gym for a solid cardio workout," Olson said. Consider a cycling class, kickboxing, or intervals on a treadmill.
Health.com: 16 Ways to Lose Weight Fast
You pulled an all-nighter
Finishing that last-minute project may have made your boss happy, but now you're paying the price in sleep deprivation. The best way to recover from an all-nighter is to make up for that lost sleep as much as possible, Dr. Allen Towfigh, board certified sleep medicine doctor and neurologist affiliated with Weill Cornell Medical Center/New York Presbyterian Hospital in New York City said.
"This can be done in several ways," Towfigh said. "You can either go to bed earlier the following evening, or if you find yourself struggling to get through the day take a short nap in the early afternoon." Keep the nap under 30 minutes to avoid being unable to fall asleep the next night, suggests Towfigh, and drink something caffeinated when you wake up.
Health.com: 7 Tips for the Best Sleep Ever
You ditched your workouts during that two-week vacation
It takes only three days of abstaining from cardio for your body to start losing its cardiovascular fitness, Olson said, and strength starts to wane after about a week. So two weeks of basking on the beach requires easing back into your normal routine in order to prevent injury.
Olson recommends returning to your cardio workouts at about 70% of both your normal intensity and duration. For strength training, start back at 70% of your normal weight and reduce your sets by a quarter or a third (that is, do two sets instead of three, or three instead of four). Allow yourself a week of gradually increasing the difficulty of your routine before you resume your regular workouts, she said.


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Olympia Dukakis
Olympia Dukakisactress
Born: 6/20/1931
Birthplace: Lowell, Massachusetts
A veteran stage actress, she won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Moonstruck (1987). Her other movies include Working Girl (1988), Dad (1989), Look Who's Talking (1989), Steel Magnolias (1989), Mr. Holland's Opus (1995), and Mighty Aphrodite (1995). She also appeared in the television mini-series Joan of Arc (1999) and the Armistead Maupin Tales of the City series in 1998, 2000, 2001 and 2003. Former Massachusetts Governor and presidential candidate Michael Dukakis is her cousin.
|David Duchovny
|Patty Duke
See also:
Here are the facts and trivia that people are buzzing about.


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The Figure of the 'Dissident'
The emergence of Central European dissidentism and its impact on the transnational debates in late-Cold War era
'Dissidents' have always been the object of Western attention, and there are many reasons for why that is the case. Who are the 'dissidents', how do they come to be, and what sort of impact do they have? This project proposes to look back at the democratic opposition movements in Central Europe in order to define the 'dissident' as an analytical rather than simply descriptive concept. Putting aside the debate about the actual role of domestic and societal forces in bringing down Communism in Central and Eastern Europe, we can easily agree that there is something fascinating about the phenomenon of dissidentism in general.
While 1989 is a caesura of groundbreaking importance for Central Europeans, on the global scale it meant that prisoners of conscience from this part of the world would nearly disappear from the pages of Amnesty International bulletins. Opposition to authoritarianism and dictatorial power continues world-wide, and so does dissidentism. The latter is not only an act of civil courage characterized by the Greek term parrhesia, meaning the conscious act of speaking the truth to power at the risk of grave consequences. It is, perhaps more importantly, an instance of transnational recognition in which an oppositionist from one country is recognized for something larger and wider than he or she is, becomes a symbol of certain values and is taken for an example of a predefined social and political setup. To put it simply, 'dissident' is not a mere label, and empowerment does not boil down to the dollars transferred by human rights foundations in the West. The term has performative qualities of its own.
This dissertation project is based on the assumption that the 'dissidents' constitute a socio-political phenomenon that is different from democratic opposition movements. The 'dissident' is thus seen as a rhetorical and political figure which is empowered through international recognition; however, it is the translation of the figure of the 'dissident' into local contexts that enables it to function internationally.
The project therefore seeks to investigate the historical roots as well as the changing meanings of the concept of 'dissident' in the context of Central Europe, but also to look into the ways the concept itself was employed by those who were labelled as such. The second part of the project provides a discourse-analytic account of dissident practices of 'hijacking discourses', or, to use a different vocabulary of the localization of 'universal' discourses: human rights, pacifism, environmentalism and radical democratic ideas. These re-negotiated discourses are provided as examples of how the specific position the 'dissidents' were in and their role as metaphorical 'bridges' between 'East' and 'West' were used to translate or localize values usually considered universal.
Kasper Szulecki, 'Hijacked Ideas: Human Rights, Peace and Environmentalism in Czechoslovak and Polish Dissident Discourses', East European Politics and Societies 25 (2) May 2011, pp. 272 - 295.
Kasper Szulecki, 'Neophyten, Häretiker, Dissidenten: Polnische Linksintellektuelle und (Anti-)Kommunismus' Jahrbuch für Historische Kommunismusforschung 2011, pp. 61-88, April 2011.
Kasper Szulecki, 'Smashing Concrete With Words. The Central European 'dissidents', their representations and discourses.' In: Civil Society in Central and Eastern Europe before and after the End of Socialism, by Sabine Fischer and Heiko Pleines (eds.). Stuttgart: Ibidem Verlag, 2010.


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[wpdm_package id=1931 template="link-template-default.php"]
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|Motto: Tidy
|Anthem: Islands in the Stream
|Cardick / Borth / Baamouth
|Largest city
|National day
|St Daffydill's Day (Welsh: Dydd Gŵr Drewi)
|4,000 cofi gonts
800,000 Poles
700,000,000 illiterate
5,000,000 Sheep (debated)
|Official languages
|0% Welsh, 26% Pakistani, 32% Polski, 200% Sheep, Regional variations of welsh 15%
|Patron Saint
|Dy Fam, so taw ia gont
|The powerless monarchy boss
|Catherine Zeta Jones
|National Hero(es)
|Barry Welsh
Owain Glyndwp
St Dafad
|Pub, Killing the english
|Major exports
|Sheep, Pot Noodle, Tom Jones, Coal, Quality Slate
|Major imports
|Sheep, Pakistan, Rain
|National Anthem
|"dirty deeds done with sheep", sung by John Redwood with Cacaphonia
|Opening Hours
|Any time - we're flexible
- Before reading any further, please be warned: The (European) government have declared that anyone carrying out research on Wales, the Welsh, or on Welsh History (by which, afore mentioned mandate includes the reading this article), must first be required to correctly answer the following question: "How do you get two Whales in a Mini?"
Wales: (a country with mountains so high, that the clouds had to grow legs and trotters to walk over them, and where Jonah was once swallowed up on the beach), is the birth place of Moby Dick. Its geographical proximity to England is of no consequence to either country's inhabitants, and over the years, several attempts have been made to separate the one from the other.
Famously, Wales has many areas of outstanding natural beauty: the Gower coast, the mountains of Snowdonia, the ferry trip as it parts Hollyhead towards Ireland, and the Eastward-drive over the Severn bridge (which is free if you're travelling in the right direction). In fact, one of the few things that Wales lacks is an East Coast, a concept much favoured by England but voted out of parliament democratically on more than 300 occasions (only Michael Heseltine's bid to become Prime Minister has been voted out more frequently).
Wales is also well known for being the birthplace of a new cult religion: Dollyanity. Its followers worship Dolly, a cloned sheep. Mocked by Church of England goers for their corny and downright asinine beliefs, Welsh Dollyans (as the followers are known) often retort: "Well at least our leader did come back to life".
have been many has even been a successful Welsh man throughout the course of history. David Lloyd George somehow managed to become Prime Minister (which is more than can be said for Hesletine), although it is today widely believed that the ballot-paper-writers believed that David, Lloyd and George were three separate people, and wrote their names down three times accordingly. Ryan Giggs is often credited as being Welsh too, although the truth is that he was born in Cardiff, which is borderline by anyone's standards. Michael Owen (the wendyballer not the former captain of the Welsh Rugby team) decided definitively not to be Welsh, and in a strange turn of insanity pretend to be Scouser; apparently preferring to be knocked out of international tournaments on penalties at the knock-out stages, as opposed to taking the more intelligent option of deliberately losing in the qualifying rounds, and spending summer holidays in the Bahamas instead.
Some people also claim that Bernie Ecclestone is Welsh, though we would prefer to admit that he is from Narnia, for obvious reasons. Ian Hislop, (aka the short grouchy one who keeps losing to tubs of lard on "Have I Got News for You") was born in Wales. He, however, keeps this quiet, and prefers to remain more closely affiliated with... tubs of lard. Which is just fine by us boyo.
Wales, commonly referred to as "better than Belgium", "England's Patio", or "The Buttocks of Britain", was founded in 27,000 BC by illiterate sheep worshippers; other sources suggest that Wales was founded by the Grand Turnip (The current main religion of Wales after Carrot-ism). Wales was once a small collection of about 18 smaller states, each with their own way of "playing" with the local sheep. Continuous wars between the smaller states eventually led to a successful allied victory for the states of Dadlau and Rhyfelgar in the year 250AD. A bizarre election campaign filled with scandals led to the election of a dyslexic tyrant, Dvaid Smiht, who promptly named the newly-formed country after his aquatic gods. Another legend had it that Wales was actually a bastardisation of Wanker, but this is probably just the English being "witty" as always. The name is now thought to come from the fact that the country is the size of an average whale and the people get the name Welsh due to being filled with flab and being made from the gut of whale.
Wales was before a safe haven for Celts to live in peace from the invading Nazis of Germany and their mercantile views. As refugees in Wales grew in populous they decided to form an alliance of musicians and decided to name this haven walia (land of wailers). Three decades later and the Welsh had planned that they would sing the Anglo Saxons out of England and back into the hideous lands of Schleswig-Holstein. But the offense was not necessary as the Germans were having problems with the vikings and were also wishing for an invading force to leave. Soon however the Anglo Saxons were pushed south and tensions between Welsh/Cornish people and Anglo Saxon people grew. Primarily as to whether the country should be called England or Britain. Wars broke out whereby the Celtic welsh would stand there blasting music out with all their might while the Anglo Saxon warriors lanced at them chopping torsos. But finally a truce was brought out and it was decided that the country be called England but the piece of physical land residing on it would be called Britain. Peace at last for the Welsh.
It was not long before the first pillow fight since the days of the city states. A fear of conquest rushed through the Welsh heartland when the Romans vanquished their little girls. The Welsh retreated onto Ynys Mon, a previously ignored wasteland which, for the first and last time, became important and noteworthy for a brief while. At the final battle the Welsh ran out of lipstick and as a last resort turned to their women and druids. The pagan leaders began screaming their fearsome war chant, "Fluffy Bunnies, Fluffy Bunnies". They were joined by vicious naked bunnies wildly screaming and waving Celtic standards. The Romans fled in terror, fearing both the magic and the dreadful prospect of marital-like interaction.
Since this great victory the Welsh have honoured their saviours. The men repeat the fearsome chant at every opportunity, while the women roam the towns in all weather, wearing next to nothing.
It is common knowledge that there are no whales in Wales. There are only sheep and seaweed-eating sheep-human hybrids, mistakenly known as, "Humans"
Contrary to popular belief, the average welshman is not half-man-half-sheep, but is in fact 52.306% sheep and some regional variation may occur. some areas have as little as 39.2% sheep DNA mixed with human, but some areas raise to as high as approx 70% (it is not safe for "normal" humans to enter these areas for a large length of time so the exact percentage cannot be found)
A popular myth that Welsh are 100% sheep was disproven when they were asked to vote on whether they preferred being ruled by the Welsh or by the English. If the Welsh had been sheep they would all have voted the same way as each other, but as it was, they couldn't make up their minds at all. So as a compromise, a Welshman called Ron Davies was crowned as Prince of Wales, but he ruled from Clapham Common in England. Sine though, Prince Ron Davies was overthrown by a herd of evil sheep led by Shaun who was then crowned Prince after making a cameo appearance in Wallace and Gromit,leading to him landing his own show.
Disastrous Union[edit]
In 1250 a sudden and cataclysmic earthquake joined Wales to England. For the first ten seconds of this union the people of both countries were bewildered, confused and wary. On the 11th second a Welshman by the name of Taffy Triog became the first man to cross the border, where he entered a traditional English Cantonese restaurant. There was no way he could have foreseen that his decision to take two Mint Imperials from the bar would define Welsh-English relationships for a millennium. Within days the English poem "Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief" became #1 in the Poetry Charts with a record 71 sales.
For the next 544 years Taffy's legacy lived on with constant fighting and wars between the Welsh and the English. A somewhat comical accident during the Battle of Porth-y-Gest became the basis of another popular song. A shot from a Welshman's bow broke the wheel of an unfortunate English soldier's chariot. As his vehicle flipped into the air the soldier fell to ground and before he could safely roll away the chariot came crashing down towards him. Although he managed to avoid the main body of the chariot, one of the spokes struck him in a thoroughly unpleasant manner. The resulting song is now one of the national anthems of Wales.
In the 17th Century, Wales was used as a prison by the English. No chains or walls were needed as no one could read the signs so any potential escapee got lost. The Welsh, however, began training the prisoners to pillage English villages and play rugby. In 1694, after a crushing 11-9 defeat at the Tregynnog National Stadium, the English abandoned the whole scheme.
In the year 1794 Sir John Roache, with the help of the British Army, called an end to the fighting by separating Wales from England using a fruit knife (See the England article for more information on this historic event). Nowadays the country of Wales floats freely and happily in the Atlantic Ocean and for this reason is only shown on maps of Europe when it floats within range of the edge of the sheet.
A Legislature of their Own[edit]
After the separation from England in 1974 Wales held a referendum on whether to forget about politics and live the simple life, or to establish some sort of legislative body. The vote was a crushing defeat for the supporters of politics when the only person who bothered voting flipped a coin and decided on a simple life.
By 1997, however, the Welsh were growing restless. The lack of a legislative body had deprived them of their greatest pastime, arguing. Therefore they decided to form the Welsh County Council. Although officially based in a greenhouse in Cardiff Bay, the members usually meet every other Thursday at Clwb y Bont in Pontypridd. Not only has it been a great arena for arguing, petty point scoring and big boasts (again, the bastions of Welsh sport) but, quite unexpectedly, it has improved the lives of the Welsh population. Most analysts accredit this to the Council's immense wealth which it has amassed by threatening the European Union with the possibility of dumping thousands of annoying horns outside the stadiums of every professional team on the continent. To keep Wales at bay the EU funds its every whim.
Some of the most high-profile schemes funded by the County Council include the popular game-show Dr Who?, keeping Charlotte Church in England, half price pints for under 16s on a Thursday across Wales and free travel for people with three legs on local bus services between 11pm and 1am in the Valleys. The rest of their budget is spent on supplying the Department for Racial Diversity and Linguistic Purity (Welsh: Bwrdd Croeso Cymru Saeson Ewch Adref) with paper napkins and plastic coffee stirrers.
Civil War[edit]
Recently the Welsh have been living under the cloud of a Cold Civil War, begun shortly after the establishment of the Welsh County Council. While the whole point of the body was to encourage arguing and fighting, the Welsh appetite for such actions was clearly underestimated. The County Council poured resources into the Southern areas, building icons such as the Centurion Stadium, the Armadillo Centre and, of course, the Greenhouse Council House. Frayed tempers soon erupted into conflict when a small and highly trained army from the South kidnapped Robin McBryde, holding him hostage. The North retaliated by kidnapping Dr. Who.
The buffer zone between North and South is known by its own, internal inhabitants as "Mid Wales". Borders are disputed, but are believed to originate somewhere between Pwllheli and Aberystwyth. However, in official parlance the term "Demilitarised Zone" is preferred, as all of our soldiers have been sent off to die somewhere abroad, like Afghanistan or Croydon. Wales is believed to have stockpiled plentiful arsenals of weapons-grade boredom and dysentery, two of the country's main exports before the North switched over to sour grapefruit Juche.
While Southern analysts have put the blame purely on the shoulders of what they deem the jealous North; Northern analysts claim the same in reverse, claiming that the South is simply jealous of the fact that North Wales got Rhyl.
Fears of Disintegration[edit]
Notwithstanding the impending civil war, there is a real fear of the disintegration of Wales. The 4th biggest, and some say most influential, city in Wales, Llandwrog, has recently been pushing for independence. Their claim lies in a thousand year old poem "Wylit Wylit Llandwrog, Wylit waed pe gwelit hyn". Other towns that appear to be following suit include The Millennium Stadium, Borth, Portmeirion, and, most disturbingly of all, the Brains Brewery. Newport recently announced their intention to seek independence, but no-one in Wales seemed to care.
In 1259 the Last King of Wales, Llywelyn the Daft, decided to try and cut Wales off from England, and float off somewhere warmer, Australia probably. So Llywelyn set all the men of the kingdom to dig down as far as they could until they reached the bottom of the sea, and they could float off. The Englishmen helped as well, because they were sick of the sight of the Welsh people as well, and the smell of cheese. Obviously, with a medieval understanding of geology the whole enterprise was doomed to failure. To take their revenge, Llywelyn's men cut off his willy, to the cry of "off with his dick". There is a permanent trench between Wales and England, named after Llywelyn's method of death, these days known as Offa's Dyke. The Welsh people never forgot this ambition, and when they discovered Australia they named it New Wales, but again the English people foiled their plans, and only New South Wales remains of this.
Famous People from Wales[edit]
Anthony Hopkins, y'know the guy who plays the psycho Hannibal Lecter in Silence of The Lambs
Richard Burton, The best thing to come out of Port Talbot.
Dylan Thomas, y'know that poet writer Under Milk Wood guy
Michael Sheen, y'know that guy who played Tony Blair in The Queen
Catherine Zeta Jones, y'know the girl who's married to that sugar daddy
Princess Diana of Wales, y'know that dead English bitch
Loztprophetz, y'know that band from that place, Ponypridd or some shit like that.
Shirley Bassey, If you don't know who that is then you are retard.
Charlotte Church, You know that one hit wonder tart from the roughest part of wales.
Tom Jones, y'know, that singer who was REALLY pissed off that he wasn't born black.
Henry Morgan, y'know the pirate famous for having his own rum brand "Captain Morgan's".
The landscape of Wales was the largest single project ever undertaken by the BBC. In readiness for the filming of Torchwood, Wales was constructed over a prolonged period of time on a disused sound stage, just west of Bristol. The BBC only allowed the filming of Gavin and Stacey on condition that one of the settings for some key characters was changed from 'somewhere else in Essex' to Wales. The people of Wales are so dedicated to their roles as supporting characters in these programmes that, if asked about it, they will even feign annoyance.
Much of Wales's diverse landscape is mountainous and consists of four main mountain ranges known as Snowdonia, Cambrian, The Brecon Beacons and Mordor. The mountainous areas of Wales are used primarily for agriculture and are heavily populated with farmers, farmers wives (known locally as dragons), sheep, tourists and orcs.
The beauty of the Welsh landscape attracts many tourist and hobbits to the country each year, and in an effort to avoid this and confuse potential tourists the Welsh government passed a law to remove over 55% of all vowels used in the place names of its towns and villages. The results of this law were mixed as tourism continued to flourish; on a more positive note, however, incidents of hobbit hooliganism took a drastic fall.
Unlike many other countries of its kind, Wales is completely and utterly invisible. If viewed from above, you will merely see an extension of the Catlantic ocean, and all aerial photographs or satellite images of the area are purely artists impression.
Information below provided on behalf of the Welsh Meteorological Centre (also known as Betty)
- Highest maximum temperature: When the sun comes out (albeit covered by rain clouds) and the temperature reads -10 degrees Celsius. And everyone thinks its warm.
- Lowest minimum temperature: Facken' freezen'
- Minimum number of hours of sunshine in a day: N/A
- Average yearly rainfall in MM: Several Miles
- Yearly sunshine: No one knows, there are too many clouds
- On average Wales has 2 days of summer in a decade.
National Anthem[edit]
In 1942 under Adolf Hitler's command all the way from Germany, the National anthem was changed from the classic ' England Wae Fek Whales ' to the greatly anticipated 'Hae gyvs ay shaet abau Wales', sung drunkenly at every gig that its original composers and performers Derwyddon Dr. Gonzo go to - and it has just caught on.
- The song goes like this..
- 'Dwi'n mynd i frifo chdi,
- dwi'n mynd i frifo chdi,
- dwi'n mynd i frifo chdi
- 123
- Neud i chdi waedu.'
It simply translates into ..
It is enjoys being sung by fans, especially in rugby games when Wales beat the English. The English believe that its some kind of voodoo directed towards them, and it is. Please don't tell an Englishman about that translation - is supposed to be a secret between the Welsh. The concept of the song is thought to be the main attraction for the German freak Hitler .. one thing that Hitler and Wales share in common .....
The national sport of Wales is arguing. A Welshman takes great pride in his ability to argue with anyone for no apparent reason, even if secretly he agrees. Being from a different county/town/village/street/house/side-of-the-bed is usually enough to guarantee a fight. Supporting a different rugby team guarantees a war. The only time when Welshmen refrain from arguing with each other is when there's an Englishman present. In such a situation the Welsh become brothers-in-arms and turn on the intruder, with whom they disagree completely.
Following the 3rd Law of Physics, which states that every country has to be good at something, the Welsh are quite skilled in the art of throwing a ball around. In one memorable match they managed to throw and catch the ball a stunning 21 times. The English struggle with this, and are often prone to hissy girly fits of jealousy. Also, while playing rugby against Welsh women, the English normally run away scared making the excuse that they are "going for a pot of tea". Though it must be noted that the Welsh have thus far failed to win any significant international tournament and indeed were incapable of beating the fearsome nation of Fiji in the last world cup. However they gained their revenge by getting the EU to nuke Fiji.
The national stadium of Wales is the Millenium Stadium, which has an all seater capacity of 5 and its own county council. Other grounds sometimes used for for national events include The Racecourse in Wrexham and Dan-Yr-Ogof Caves.
Historically, the Welsh have been world-beaters in the popular sport of "Burn the Englishman's Holiday Home". Unfortunately for the Welsh this sport was outlawed in 2003 due to EU constraints on carbon emissions.
A popular sport is the Welsh Pentathalon, which is a team sport consisting of four events: male voice choir singing, love spoon carving, the consumption of Brains, and listening to Shirley Bassey.
The favoured sport in rural Wales is traditional sheep racing, where they particularly enjoy jumping up and down near there rear end. The Welsh are particularly pompous about sport as they take the credit when a BRITISH sportsman wins a cup in the Olympics.
The traditional English game of Countdown was invented in Wales, however this was quickly dropped when they ran out of consonants. The rules and playing of the game was thought to be so complex, that only all Prestatyns Maths Brainbox of the Year Champion, one Carol Vorderman, was able to understand it, and so was recruited as its co-presenter.
Sheep = Sheeple - the science behind it[edit]
What animal is mentally dull, uncritically capitulates to group pressure and goes beh, beh, beh? It's the English of course! This is a defining characteristic of English people and the Welsh person is in the happy position of being able to gauge the extent to which someone is uninspired, subservient to authority(and English!) simply by monitoring their behavior. In his ground breaking study "Towards a measure of suckarsedness through the quantification of bleating - YOU SCUM" , a certain Dr RubberFingers(unemployed) was able to demonstrate the distribution of suckarsedness in an areal pattern. Groups from every key demographic were taken in this worldwide study and individually exposed to a Welsh person. Their sheeplike behavior was then carefully recorded and held in a database so that they can be stigmatized for all time. Perhaps surprisingly the study proved the Welsh were in fact 75% English. It is a scientific fact.
There is one Library in Wales. This is called "The National Library" and is situated in Aberystwyth. Its has a collection of over 40 books (mostly "The Adventures of Spot" )and is world renowned for its tea making facilities. The Library was supposed to be opened by Gareth Shanks in 1857 but Dr Who, using his TARDIS, sneaked back to 1856 and opened it early.
In 2001, the Welsh County Council awarded one of the largest grants in Welsh history - £45.63 - to fund a new "Travelling National Library" in the form of a moped to ensure that Welsh people living in the country's remote Nether Regions had access to Wales's most famous work of literature: "Ivor the Engine v Superted - Deathmatch".
Long Names[edit]
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobannerobinsonwllllantysiliowgogogoch is Wales' shortest place name, its longest place name is so long that if i typed it down you would kill yourself. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch was decided after Aled Jones and Shaun the Sheep (Shaun the Sheep being Aled Jones' Boyfriend) were playing a game of Scrabble when Fireman Sam pushed over their game. The letter pieces coincidently landed in a line to spell out this word. As the 59 letter word looked vaguely Welsh, Jones decided to name a small town after it. And so the town of Cwmditch was promptly renamed.
Welsh Stereotypes[edit]
Welsh people are famous for the following things: Being patriotic. Being short. Being fat. not feeling the cold. they love war. and train their children to kill all English men at sight this process happens to children after the age of 9. drinking beer. having small male genitals liking to fight. there women are a slightly better looking than a dead monkeys half-digested ass. eating meat. not being clever. being very funny because they say such stupid shit. Being almost completely Chavs Living on the dole Having the highest underage pregnancy rate in Europe however you should always befriend a welshmen because they are friendly to there friends however hate there enemies with a passion so deep that even god can't remove it. the only way to befriend a welshmen is saying your wife looks nice and buying him a drink of beer
A popular annual event is that of the Eisteddfod (lit. Empty Tent). It is said to recreate the mythological sacrifice of the Ffalabalam teddies as set out in ancient texts from 1903. Recent research however suggests that this to be a mistranslation of the original text which was actually just a weather report from Sian Lloyd.
The Eisteddfod is considered the most important event in Wales. Loads of dirty old men dressed up in bedsheets and table cloths, ogling scantily-clad little girls and boys frolicking about in an orgy of self-adulation. (Perverts to the rest of you). Children and near-death grannies parade in a gigantic empty tent, trying to remember more Welsh words than the person before them. Everyone between the age of 12 and 31 are at the Youth Village (Maes-B) drinking 98% vodka out of plastic cups. Everyone between the age of 32 and 54 are in caravans, drinking 98% vodka out of crystal glasses.
The main event is the Chairing of the Bard. Hopeful Bards from across the land line up on stage whilst a young girl starts singing Mi Welais Jac y Do. All the Bards skip around a number of chairs until the music stops, when they sit down. Whoever is left standing gets a letter. When a Bard has enough letters to spell LL-A-N-F-A-I-R-P-W-LL-G-W-Y-N-G-Y-LL-G-O-G-E-R-Y-CH-W-Y-R-N-D-R-O-B-W-LL-LL-A-N-T-Y-S-I-L-I-O-G-O-G-O-CH-B-E-R-G he is out and a chair is removed. Whoever lasts until the end gets to keep the chairs to chop into firewood. In the infamous 1917 Eisteddfod in Birkenhead the final two Bards, in their rush for the final chair, crashed into each other knocking both unconscious. Naturally, being in Birkenhead, by the time they woke up some local had stolen the chair and, for the only time in Welsh history, no-one received the chair.
Art is flourishing in Wales. Barely a bypass, ruin, road sign or caravan in the country is not colourfully decorated by budding artists. It used to be a national pastime to paint beautiful slogans on houses. Some locals protested to having their houses decorated - thankfully, English visitors who owned holiday homes in Wales welcomed the artists with open arms and tourist villages such as Abersoch became a haven for art lovers. In the 1970s a campaign group of Philistines waged a war against Welsh art by burning down the buildings on which these slogans were painted. The poor holiday home owners, who had done so much for Welsh culture by giving the space for the artists to draw, were left without a home to visit on the weekends.
Wales is renowned for its distinctive architecture, which consists of thousands of very small grey houses arranged to look like necrotising fasciitis infections in the most beautiful glacier valleys in the world. In 1851, Welsh architect and town-planner Gwylym Hwlchwlch won the Wooden Pail of Ale Prize for designing Merthyr Tydfil, widely held to rival Venice as the "Most Beautiful City in the World" and recently awarded World Heritage status by the Betws-y-Coed Working Men's Club.
Contrary to the precedent set by (Tom) Jones the (sex) Thief, crime is low in Wales. The two most common crimes are ram-raiding and having sex with a miner, the latter being considered a heinous offence because they are the primary workforce of the country and are typically not allowed to have fun. The miners' foremen discourage fun because they are certain that it muddles the brain and causes distraction which has been demonstrated to be a leading cause death amongst mine workers. However, sheep sex is both legal and socially encouraged especially as most welsh lamb is sold locally and they love the taste of the seasoning.Many crimes today are caused by sheep theft and tractor hit 'n' run, very slowly.
Welsh people had an obsession with sheep, finding them more attractive than the opposite gender, as they like the 'wildness' of the sex. With the sheep having human-sheep babies, a weird language soon began form among the younger generation and this is nowadays known as The Welsh Language. As you have noticed not even the Welsh can't even spell their own language - particularly noticeable on roadsigns - due to the sheep side-affects. It is believed that the first white sheep was developed in wales after years of inter-breeding and incest. In recent years the Welsh have found out a new use for sheep - wool.
Main Article: Welsh Language
The Welsh speak English as their first language, but they all pretend to speak the Welsh language when TV cameras are near, when threatened, or upon the sight of foreigners and Englishmen (even though they don't know what they're saying).
There is a small town in Wales known as "Walesia" which is 50% English and 50% Swedish speaking. By law, all visitors to this town must be fluent in one or the other of these languages, and not in Welsh.
This as a result of the migration of a cult from the Swedish community of Arboga in 1934 who believed that Wales is the promised land. The cult is now largely dead but the town retains its distinctly Swedish culture and traditions such as the "Annual Meatball Harvest Festival" along with the "Eurovision Song Contest."
The Welsh are the only people to speak this language of retardation: "gwynllochhylllwellllllblahblahllllllllll".
The welsh gallic speach include no vowels, however there are exceptions, for example, the word "Sheep" is pronounced "Lover" in welsh.
Welsh Colonies[edit]
Welsh Congo[edit]
The Welsh Congo is actually the Welsh name for England, but the English do not know this because they've been in The Matrix since 905AD. There is a rather spiffy article on it on Uncyclopedia, which you also are on unless you are a psychic or a Psyduck reading the mind of someone who is on Uncyclopedia.
Welsh Patagonia[edit]
In 1865, a group of Welshmen who had grown weary of their wet, inhospitable and infertile land moved to the wet, inhospitable and infertile land of Patagonia in Argentina. When they discovered that no-one there knew English they happily settled. Today the Welsh language is still spoken in some parts of Patagonia. Local cafés still advertise "Sgons & Jam" for sale, while the local McDonald's(known throughout wales as ApDonaldiau) allows you to order, as the Welsh do, "Ap-go-Fawr sglodion ffrengig a Choc plis."
The economy in Wales used to be built upon sheep mines. These often caved in and took the local economy down at the same time. Children are still conscripted to the mines at the age of 5 for a 10 year service. Parents who wish to give their children an advantage in life buy them the Back Garden Sheep Mine Building Set at the age of 3 (available at all Welsh branches of Tesco.)
These days, however, the main part of the entire economy consists of a pub in every house and B&B on every corner (required by law to charge double for English customers and put a pea under their mattresses). However, the Welsh Development Agency has plans to help the economy diversify, for example by selling the Saxon Radar (a device capable of identifying English people, by their bulging wallets, at distances of up to 400 yards) to other countries - it has proven itself so successful in Wales that every Welsh person already has one, and now has no trouble finding a rich visitor to fleece.
The educational system in wales is basically children held at gunpoint and forced to learn an impossible language, sing in choirs, and acting (in hope of one day featuring on s4c).
The Valleys[edit]
No, not those giant hills. The T.V. show that features overgrown Oompa Loompa's and 'Sluts'. All that are truly Welsh hate this show. Basically a bunch of idiots and sluts get chosen to go and live in Cardiff, which is like a 20 minute train ride from Bridgend (Which is somehow part of the valleys), just to take part in a modelling shoot and the biggest piss up of their lives. This show features these Oompa Loompa's dreams and wishes but as soon as they are all put in a room together their primal instincts activate and they have sex. Literally. I have never seen such jacked up horny bastards in my entire life.
The creators AKA. MTV, put in one decent bloke anyway, who happens to be a gay rugby player. He just takes the piss out of them constantly and it is quite funny to watch.
Hey Jude[edit]
There was once a famous man who sang the Beatles version of Hey Jude, this man then went on to be the first man to ever leave Wales in the search for civilization.
Goldie Lookin Chain[edit]
Were made Saints after being the only people able to read who were born in Newport. Worshipped throughout wales as the most intelligent men in the country.
University of Wales[edit]
Universities in Wales were abolished over a century ago. It was thought that the English were trying to control the minds and souls of the Welsh. As such, a learned Welsh scholar who held multiply doctorates from Universities throughout Wales decided to abolish universities. He remains today the smartest Welsh sheep. Some have come to challenge this claim, but they are often drunk and dismissed.
See also[edit]
- Welsh language
- Cardiff
- Coal
- Choir
- Rain
- New South Wales
- Welsh Congo
- Welsh
- Blackwood
- Cwmbrân
- Slate industry in Wales
- Welsh Expansionalist Movement
- Corgi
- Aberystwyth
- Lampeter
- Dolphins
- The Great Welsh Fire
- My visit with Aunt Myfanwy
- Llanfyllin
- Penally
- Ginger
- Jersey
- Delaware


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Monday, October 23, 2006
Bad Inking Day
The "write a caption" contest is still going on (see previous entry), but I thought I'd share a gag I doodled after I had a bad inking day recently. It was one of those days where every line I set down was shaky and no amount of warming up would get rid of it. I don't usually get like that, and most often I just work through it and it goes away, but this time it stayed with me the whole day! It was especially frustrating because the day before, I felt like I was on a real roll and every line came off my brush with a "zing!"
Anyway, I drew this up after I finished up the day's work, to try and cheer myself up. And what do you know -- in the course of drawing and lettering it, my shaky line went away!
Friday, October 13, 2006
What is this monkey doing?
Sometimes, I'll doodle while watching TV. This is one I did while watching a recent press conference from the White House.
I hereby apologize in advance to anyone offended by sketches of apes giving the finger.
Wowie Special Contest!
Ok, here's an idea -- I've decided to run a contest to see who could write the best caption for this picture. So, if you're the creative copy-writing type and/or the compulsive contest-entering type, take your best shot in the comments section and I'll pick the winner at the end of October (or thereabouts).
And what does the winner recieve for his or her efforts? Howsabout a free copy of my recent Max Finder Mystery book and a rare stash of my mini-comics (so rare that I have to go deep into my closet to find them!). Is that enough to entice your creative juices? If your answer's no, well...that's all I got. But you answered yes or even "ehh..maybe, whatever", then enter today!*
*offer void where prohibited. No purchase necessary. Some contestants may be asked to answer a skill testing question relating to the Jack Kirby era Fantastic Four. Well, maybe not.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
See No Evil
Here's a spot illustration I did recently for Canadian Business Magazine (Tim Davin, art director). It was to accompany an article on stock regulators. It might sound pretty dry but really, how could I ever turn down an opportunity to draw monkeys?
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We have the freezer to thank for our Friday Night Pizza this week as I pulled three of the main ingredients from there! I wasn't going to be home in time to get this Chicken and Goat Cheese Pizza With Fresh Basil together in time to eat at a decent hour, so I cooked the chicken (which was trimmed and portioned in the freezer from the a Costco trip a couple weeks ago) last night and left it to chill, par-baked the pizza crust this morning before breakfast (early riser!) and moved the corn and pesto from the freezer into the refrigerator to thaw. All I had to do when I got home this evening was preheat the oven, top the crust and after a good 10 minutes in the oven, bang! Dinner was ready!
The pesto, made in a giant batch last week to use up the last of our basil plants, made its way onto the crust first, followed by the shredded chicken, thawed corn kernels we had cut from the multitude of ears we garnered from the farmers' market during the summer, crumbles of goat cheese and for a little extra richness, a hearty drizzle from a bottle of quality extra-virgin olive-oil. Seasoned with a sprinkle of salt and fresh ground black pepper, the pizza needs to bake just long enough to finish off the crust and give the tangy cheese crumbles a tinge of golden brown color.
For a note of freshness, and to tug on the pesto layer underneath, as soon as the pizza was swept of the stone, we scattered the top with basil leaves and called it done. If you like a softer crust, and don't need to rush as I did, feel free to stretch the raw dough out and scatter the toppings on, then tack on a couple extra minutes to the bake time, if needed. The original recipe did call for a half cup of portobello mushrooms, browned in a skillet with a touch of oil and salt, but honestly it didn't appeal to me (nor Jeff, surprise surprise!) and we didn't feel the pizza suffered - if you groove on them though, go for it!
Friday, October 08, 2010
Chicken and Goat Cheese Pizza...
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text: Funding Awarded to CA Cat Rescue 15 June 2016 The-Dr-Jane-Foundation How We Give Back (3) This month, we'd like to highlight another financial award given by The Dr. Jane Foundation, this time to MeoowzResQ, a non-profit, all-volunteer organization dedicated to the rescue of cats and kittens in Southern California. What began as a personal experience rescuing and caring for abandoned kittens, quickly became the established rescue organization we honor here today. A small, tightly knit organization, their focus is on saving felines from euthanasia at high-kill shelters, while also taking in stray, abandoned and surrendered cats. Over the years they've created a thriving network of caring individuals working in tandem to save as many cats as possible, placing them in loving, permanent homes. Astonishingly, MeoowzResQ saves more than 2,000 felines every year! In their many years of dedicated service to their community, more than 15,000 cats and kittens have been saved. Incredible! MeoowzResQ operates based on a three-part mission statement: (1) to rescue and rehabilitate abused, abandoned and neglected cats and kittens and provide temporary homes; (2) to facilitate adoptions to safe, loving, permanent homes; and (3) to help reduce pet overpopulation through spay/neuter programs. Their workers embody the very spirit of can-do rescue attitude. Taking the long view in what amounts to one crisis situation after another is challenging, but it's exactly what this committed rescue has done. Feline overpopulation isn't a problem that can be solved in a day. But, with grit and determination, they are making significant progress! Their rescues come from all manner of bad situations, such as devastating fires, abandoned at airlines along with luggage, stowaways on big rigs during interstate travels, as well as more typical abandonments. All too often, litters of kittens are simply left in boxes on the roadside. Many of these can't be cared for by the local animal control, whereupon MeoowzResQ swoops in and saves the day. Their kittens are handraised in foster homes, and many of those enter the rescue as bottle-fed babies. These kittens grow into sweet and people-oriented cats thanks to the amazing foster care they receive from pet parents who are dedicated to raising and finding good homes for these abused, injured and abandoned cats. They routinely hold feline adoption events in numerous cities, and operate an extensive foster network spanning even more locations throughout Southern California. All of their adoptable kittens and cats have been spayed or neutered, dewormed, treated for fleas and have received all necessary vaccinations. The funds supplied by The Dr. Jane Foundation went towards covering medical expenses associated with the care of their rescues. In a statement from the group, they conveyed their immense thanks to our foundation's grant. "Because of your kindness and others like you, we can continue our life-saving work. Due to your kindness more lives can be saved." Here are just some of the felines who've had the good fortune to be rescued by MeoowzResQ, all of whom are currently available for adoption … Miss Kitty (born 2009) Miss Kitty is a regal, seven-year-old, spayed female. Further, she's a Shaded Gray Persian with a gorgeous coat. Miss Kitty is blind and has high-blood pressure, which means that she will be best suited for a calm and serene home where she can learn her environment and move about without stress. Her high blood pressure is a condition that is easily managed with inexpensive medication, but it's a treatment she'll always need. The medication is only one dose per day, sprinkled over food. Miss Kitty recently had surgery to address an injury and had to have two of her back toes partially amputated. Despite her lack of vision and the prior injury, she has no problem moving about and simply loves to be doted upon! She gets along well with both other cats and gentle dogs. She would be best suited for a home with adults only, or a family with older, mature teens. Mavis (born 2015) Mavis is a seven-month-old female tabby. A Domestic Short Hair with a super-soft coat, she's sweet, playful and gets along well with other cats. Mavis loves to cuddle, burrow and play with toys. She's equally mild-mannered and loving towards both people and other felines, and is described as an "angel" by her caretakers. Aramis (born June, 2015) Aramis is pretty shy and skittish when he isn't with his mom, Marie Antoinette (see below). Together, they enjoy taking in the scenic views, playing and sleeping. Aramis can be a crafty little kitten, as he can find his way into cabinets and even under covers! He loves to chase laser dots, climb cat trees, run amok through the house, and finally curl up in his favorite chair when exhausted. Full of personality, Aramis is ready to meet his new, lifelong companion! Marie Antoinette (born May, 2014) This petite gal grew up fast, as she had three tiny ginger babies at the tender age of one. Only two years old, she's still kittenish in her play. Marie Antoinette is highly dignified, always polite and her coat is remarkably soft and fluffy. She loves to idle hours sitting quietly and gazing out the window (Aramis obviously inherited this curiosity). She's even fond of sitting innocently on open laptops. Her best friend in the world is her son, and they would love to be adopted by the same guardian and stay together. To learn more about these and other adoptable cats, or to find out more about this amazing group, visit MeoowzResQ.org today. For any residents of Orange or Riverside County, CA, this rescue encourages interested adopters to contact them right away, as they have many available kitties. The motto for the group is, "Saving one cat may not change the world, but it will change the world for one cat." In light of their outstanding work on behalf of so many felines in Southern California over the years, one can easily make the case that they're ACTUALLY making the world a better place. As the charitable arm of Life's Abundance, The Dr. Jane Foundation provides financial support to small and medium-size rescue groups who work to prevent animal homelessness, abuse and chronic neglect. Every time you purchase a Life's Abundance product, a small donation is made to the Foundation's operating fund. And there's more good news … we are now accepting applications for 2016 funding. If you know of an animal rescue organization that deserves special recognition and financial support, please encourage them to fill out an application. Check back next month for more good news from The Dr. Jane Foundation. Together, we're making a difference! Funding Awarded to CA Cat Rescue This month, we'd like to highlight another financial award given by The Dr. Jane Foundation, this time to MeoowzResQ, a non-profit, all-volunteer organization dedicated to the rescue of cats and kittens in Southern California. What began as a personal experience rescuing and caring for abandoned kittens, quickly became the established rescue organization we honor here today. Tweet


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"Pride Runs Deep" custom embroidered Sierra Pacific Long Sleeve Denim Shirt. Add the USSVI Logo to the right chest for only $10 more! Each shirt is embroidered at our facilities in Scottsboro, AL.
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It seems like it was only yesterday when we first laid hungry eyes on Christian Bale's breathtaking combover and Bradley Cooper's bitchin' brillo in David O. Russell's American Hustle. Today, the Gods of spread collars and Earth tones have blessed us with the bounty of the full trailer, and the only one with a plunging neckline deeper than Amy Adams is Bradley Cooper. It also shows Cooper in curlers, so I guess we have our answer as to how he got his hair like that. Holy hell does this look good. I've been a David O. Russell apologist since the days of I Heart Huckabees, but this time it looks like he ate Scorsese's lunch while Marty was off shooting Spring Bankers.
I think it goes without saying that I would have sex with this entire cast. The girls for attraction, the boys for art.
Financed once again, by Annapurna Pictures. I've said it before and I'll say it again, The Bling Ring notwithstanding, Megan Ellison is the best thing to happen to the film business in a long time. American Hustle is set to open in limited release December 13th, which I don't really get. Are we really worried that Richie Rustbelt and Frieda Flyover won't want to see this? Jeez, have a little faith. This thing should open wider than Christian Bale's collar.
By the way, I'd pay to see Christian Bale's over-the-top New Yorker from American Hustle argue with his over-the-top Masshole in The Fighter. Someone make that happen.
[Also available in HD at Yahoo]


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Previous pulmonary disease linked to increased lung cancer risk in large study
Links between a number of common respiratory diseases and an increased risk of developing lung cancer have been found in a large pooled analysis of seven studies involving more than 25,000 individuals.
"Associations between various respiratory diseases and lung cancer have been shown in earlier studies, but few of these studies considered multiple respiratory diseases simultaneously," said researcher Ann Olsson, PhD, of the International Agency for Research in Cancer in Lyon, France. "In our pooled analysis of seven case-control studies involving more than 12,500 cases and 14,900 controls, we found associations between lung cancer and chronic bronchitis, emphysema, and pneumonia, with a greater increased lung cancer risk among subjects with all three of these conditions."
The findings were published in the American Thoracic Society's American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine.
Data on five previous respiratory diseases (chronic bronchitis, emphysema, tuberculosis, pneumonia, and asthma) were collected by self-report. Statistical analyses were adjusted for study center, age, employment in an occupation with an excess risk of lung cancer, level of education and detailed smoking habits.
Pneumonia and chronic bronchitis were the most frequently reported previous respiratory diseases. In analyses adjusting for other respiratory diseases and smoking, chronic bronchitis and emphysema were positively associated with lung cancer, with odds ratios among men of 1.33 (95% CI 1.20-1.48) for bronchitis and 1.50 (95% CI 1.21-1.87) for emphysema. A positive association was also found between pneumonia diagnosed two or fewer years prior and lung cancer (OR=3.31; CI 2.33-4.70 for men), Asthma had an inverse association with lung cancer risk, and no association was found between tuberculosis and lung cancer.
Patients with co-occurring chronic bronchitis, emphysema and pneumonia had a higher risk of lung cancer than those with chronic bronchitis only. There was no association between chronic bronchitis and lung cancer among patients with co-occurring asthma or tuberculosis.
"The variations in the associations between lung cancer and different patterns of previous respiratory diseases that we observed in our study may indicate differences in the underlying etiological mechanisms," said Dr. Olsson. "Better understanding of these associations may help guide the type and frequency of clinical surveillance needed for patients with each of these diseases."


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Not all national fellowships require an interview: the Javits, NSF, Udall, Goldwater, and Fulbright select scholars on the basis of the written materials alone. But many-Truman, Rhodes, Marshall, Mitchell, Mellon, Watson and more-conduct regional and national finalist interviews.
At Willamette, as at most universities, faculty committees stage mock interviews for candidates, to increase their comfort level in the interview setting, and expose them to potential lines of questioning. At times, the mock interviews feel like endurance tests: a grueling half hour of fielding impertinent, unanswerable, and seemingly irrelevant questions, digging yourself into moral and ethical holes, from which you emerge with your confidence and self-esteem in tatters.
Take heart. In these pages you'll discover reams of advice from Willamette students, both finalists and scholars, selection committees themselves, and examples of questions posed to candidates in interviews across the country.


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Debian Security Advisory
DSA-2938-1 -- Availability of LTS support for Debian 6.0 / squeeze
- Date Reported:
- 27 May 2014
- Affected Packages:
- Vulnerable:
- No
- Security database references:
- No other external database security references currently available.
- More information:
The initial organisation and setup of Squeeze LTS has now happened and it is ready for taking over security support once the standard security support ends at the end of the month:
Information for users
Support for Squeeze LTS will end five years after the release of Squeeze, i.e. until the 6th of February 2016.
You need to enable the apt sources for
squeeze-ltsmanually. Information on how to do this can be found at https://wiki.debian.org/LTS/Development#Add_squeeze-lts_to_your_sources.list
You should also subscribe to the new annoucement mailing list for security updates for
squeeze-lts: https://lists.debian.org/debian-lts-announce/
A few packages are not covered by the Squeeze LTS support. These can be detected with the new tool debian-security-support. Information on how to run it can be found here: https://wiki.debian.org/LTS/Development#Check_for_unsupported_packages
If debian-security-support detects an unsupported package which is critical to you, please get in touch with firstname.lastname@example.com (see below).
squeeze-backportswill continue to be supported for the lifetime of Squeeze LTS.
Information for Debian maintainers
First of all, Debian package maintainers are not expected to work on updates of their packages for
squeeze-lts. Package updates for
squeeze-ltswill be handled by the Debian LTS team.
However, if you are interested in doing so (and the maintainer always knows best on a package), you're certainly welcome to do so; everyone in the Debian.org and Debian maintainers key ring can upload to the
squeeze-ltssuite. Information on how to upload a fixed package can be found at https://wiki.debian.org/LTS/Development#Upload_Packages
Mailing lists
The whole coordination of the Debian LTS effort is handled through the
debian-ltsmailing list: https://lists.debian.org/debian-lts/
Please subscribe or follow us via GMANE (gmane.linux.debian.devel.lts)
Aside from the
debian-lts-announcelist, there's also a list for following all uploads in
debian-lts: https://lists.debian.org/debian-lts-changes/
Security Tracker
All information on the status of vulnerabilities (e.g. if the version in
squeeze-ltshappens to be unaffected while
wheezyis affected) will be tracked in the Debian Security Tracker:
If you happen to spot an error in the data, please see https://security-tracker.debian.org/tracker/data/report


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Salvage Dawgs
Salvage Dawgs is a trip into a world of shrewd negotiations as Robert Kulp and Mike Whiteside — co-owners of one of the premier architectural salvage operations in the United States, Black Dog Salvage — bid on homes and buildings condemned to be demolished. Their goal is to secure the remarkable pieces of America's past hidden inside these old structures before they are lost forever. These salvaged vintage pieces include everything from doors, windows, mantels and more. Once they are recovered, the guys sell these valuable pieces to a wide range of clients, from construction workers to high-end interior designers, who use them to restore other historical buildings and add character to newer structures.