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BlueEdge Limited Purpose HCASM
The BlueEdge Limited Purpose HCA plans are another part of the BCBSTX portfolio of consumer-driven health plans. The BlueEdge Limited Purpose HCA plans put members in charge of their health by empowering them to make their own decisions about how their health care dollars are spent. BCBSTX provides online tools and resources to help members make wise and informed decisions about their health care and better manage their health care benefits.
Here is what makes BlueEdge Limited Purpose HCA an exciting option:
BlueEdge Limited Purpose HCA allows members covered under a health savings account (HSA) plan to also have this type of Health Care Account, as it has specific benefits defined by the U.S. Treasury Department. The addition of this account allows members to use the HSA as a savings vehicle and use the HCA to cover qualified health care expenses. The BlueEdge Limited Purpose HCA is offered on a self-funded basis.
If there is a remaining balance of unused HCA funds at the end of the calendar year, that amount rolls over to the next calendar year and can be used toward charges applied to the next year's calendar year deductible. If the member changes jobs or medical plans, the HCA funds remain with their employer.
The HCA account is coupled with a PPO plan. Benefit levels vary depending on whether care is received in-network or out-of-network. Members must use the network providers to receive the higher (in-network) level of benefits.
BlueEdge Limited Purpose HCA plans are available to clients through the Blue Choice Network, one of the largest networks in Texas. Blue Choice provides:
- Access to the national BlueCard® network when members are outside of Texas
- Over 600 participating hospitals and facilities in Texas
- More than 800,000 doctors and 6,000 hospitals contracting with Blue Cross and Blue Shield plans nationwide
For care outside of Texas, members have access to the BlueCard national network of providers.
For more detailed information on available benefit designs, a description of the services and supplies that are covered, a listing of those services and supplies that are limited or excluded, terms and general administration, or for any questions you may have regarding our products and services, contact us for the phone number of the regional sales office near you.

subset: commoncrawl


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Welcome to Apache log4j, a logging library for Java. Apache log4j is an Apache Software Foundation Project and developed by a dedicated team of Committers of the Apache Software Foundation. For more info, please see The Apache Software Foundation. Apache log4j is also part of a project which is known as Apache Logging. Please see the License.
If you are interested in the recent changes, visit our changes report.
Inserting log statements into your code is a low-tech method for debugging it. It may also be the only way because debuggers are not always available or applicable. This is often the case for distributed applications.
On the other hand, some people argue that log statements pollute source code and decrease legibility. (We believe that the contrary is true). In the Java language where a preprocessor is not available, log statements increase the size of the code and reduce its speed, even when logging is turned off. Given that a reasonably sized application may contain thousands of log statements, speed is of particular importance.
With log4j it is possible to enable logging at runtime without modifying the application binary. The log4j package is designed so that these statements can remain in shipped code without incurring a heavy performance cost. Logging behavior can be controlled by editing a configuration file, without touching the application binary.
Logging equips the developer with detailed context for application failures. On the other hand, testing provides quality assurance and confidence in the application. Logging and testing should not be confused. They are complementary. When logging is wisely used, it can prove to be an essential tool.
One of the distinctive features of log4j is the notion of inheritance in loggers. Using a logger hierarchy it is possible to control which log statements are output at arbitrarily fine granularity but also great ease. This helps to reduce the volume of logged output and the cost of logging.
The target of the log output can be a file, an OutputStream, a java.io.Writer, a remote log4j server, a remote Unix Syslog daemon, or many other output targets.
On an AMD Duron clocked at 800Mhz running JDK 1.3.1, it costs about 5 nanoseconds to determine if a logging statement should be logged or not. Actual logging is also quite fast, ranging from 21 microseconds using the SimpleLayout, 37 microseconds using the TTCCLayout. The performance of the PatternLayout is almost as good as the dedicated layouts, except that it is much more flexible.


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Edushape Textured Pop Blocks
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A fun way to learn shapes, counting, animals and colors. Babies find the soft forms and 3-D textures fascinating to touch and chew. Toddlers like the candy-bright colors and interlocking the blocks or stacking them up. For ages 0+
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In a major advance for schizophrenia research, an international team of scientists, led by Jonathan Sebat, PhD, assistant professor of psychiatry and cellular and molecular medicine at the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine, has identified a gene mutation strongly linked to the brain disorder -- and a signaling pathway that may be treatable with existing compounds.
The work poses significant and immediate implications for neurobiology and the treatment of schizophrenia because the gene identified by the researchers is an especially attractive target for drug development.
"In some ways, this is the kind of gene that the pharmaceutical industry has been waiting for," said Sebat, who is also chief of the Beyster Center for Molecular Genomics of Neuropsychiatric Diseases and a member of the Institute for Genomic Medicine, both at UC San Diego. "Its activity can be modulated by synthetic peptides; and some have already been created."
The findings are published in the Feb. 23, 2011 online issue of the journal Nature.
Schizophrenia is a chronic, severe and disabling brain disorder, with symptoms that include hallucinations, delusions and thought disorders. It is believed to be caused by environmental and genetic factors, most notably the latter: the illness occurs in 1 percent of the general population, or 10 percent of people who have a first-degree relative with the disorder, such as a parent or sibling.
In previous work, Sebat and collaborator Mary-Claire King, a professor of medical genetics at the University of Washington, discovered that rare mutations at many locations in the human genome resulted in significantly higher risk of schizophrenia. These mutations consisted of copy number variants or CNVs -- a type of genetic variation in which the number of copies of a gene differs between individuals. The findings were the first conclusive evidence that rare mutations can cause schizophrenia, but they did not identify the specific genes involved.
The latest study goes much further. Researchers scanned for CNVs in the genomes of 8,290 individuals with diagnosed cases of schizophrenia and 7,431 healthy controls. "We found very strong links to multiple sites in the genome," said Sebat. "Some had been picked up before in earlier studies, but we uncovered a very important new finding: duplications at the tip of chromosome 7q were detected in individuals with schizophrenia at a rate14 times higher than in healthy individuals. These CNVs impact a gene that is important for brain development -- the neuropeptide receptor VIPR2."
Formally known as the Vasoactive Intestinal Peptide Receptor 2, VIPR2 is expressed in the nervous system, including in the brain, blood vessels and gastrointestinal tract. Previous studies have shown that VIPR2 helps to regulate the formation and activity of neurons in the brain. In mice, VIPR2 also has been found to play important roles in behavioral processes, including learning and timing of daily activity.
Sebat and colleagues measured expression of the VIPR2 gene in blood cells from the patients, and they found that individuals with mutations had greater expression of VIPR2 and greater activity of the receptor. "We concluded that the effect of the causal mutations is to raise the volume on the VIP signaling pathway," said Sebat.
"This discovery might be the best target yet to come out of genetic studies of mental illness." said Sebat. "This is what genomic medicine is all about, finding the relevant genes and using this genetic information to come up with a possible strategy for treatment."
Sebat said the next step will be to test whether compounds like these have beneficial effects in mice and in cultured human cells that carry the VIPR2 gene mutation.
Co-authors of the paper are Vladimir Vacic, Stanley Center for Cognitive Genomics, Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory and the Department of Computer Science, Columbia University; Shane McCarthy, Stanley Center for Cognitive Genomics, Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory; Dheeraj Malhotra, Beyster Center for Genomics of Psychiatric Diseases, UCSD Department of Psychiatry and Stanley Center for Cognitive Genomics, Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory; Fiona Murray, UCSD departments of Medicine and Pharmacology; Hsun-Hua Chou, Beyster Center for Genomics of Psychiatric Diseases and UCSD Department of Psychiatry; Aine Peoples, Neuropsychiatric Genetics Research Group, Institute of Molecular Medicine and Department of Psychiatry, Trinity College Dublin, Ireland; Vladimir Makarov and Seungtai Yoon, Seaver Autism Center and Department of Psychiatry, Mount Sinai School of Medicine, New York; Abhishek Bhandari, Beyster Center for Genomics of Psychiatric Diseases, UCSD Department of Psychiatry, Stanley Center for Cognitive Genomics, Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory; Roser Corominas and Lilia M. Iakoucheva, UCSD Department of Psychiatry; Olga Krastoshevsky, Verena Krause and Deborah L. Levy, McLean Hospital, Belmont, MA; Verónica Larach-Walters, Universidad Andrés Bello, Santiago, Chile; David K. Welsh, UCSD Department of Psychiatry, UCSD Center for Chronobiology, Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System; David Craig, Neurogenomics Division, Translational Genomics Research Institute; John R. Kelsoe, UCSD Department of Psychiatry, UCSD Institute for Genomic Medicine, Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System; Elliot S. Gershon, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience, The University of Chicago; Suzanne M. Leal, Department of Molecular and Human Genetics, Baylor College of Medicine; Marie Dell Aquila, UCSD Division of Medical Genetics, UCSD Department of Medicine; Derek W. Morris, Michael Gill and Aiden Corvin, Neuropsychiatric Genetics Research Group, Institute of Molecular Medicine and Department of Psychiatry, Trinity College Dublin, Ireland; Paul A. Insel, UCSD Department of Pharmacology, Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System; Jon McClellan, Department of Psychiatry, University of Washington; Mary-Claire King, departments of Genome Sciences and Medicine, University of Washington; Maria Karayiorgou, Department of Psychiatry, Columbia University; and Lynn E. DeLisi, Department of Psychiatry, Boston VA Healthcare System and Harvard Medical School.
Funding for this research came, in part, from the Stanley Medical Research Foundation, the Beyster Family Foundation, the National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression and the National Institutes of Health.
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Materials provided by University of California - San Diego. Original written by Scott LaFee. Note: Content may be edited for style and length.
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Edwin Vanderhoop
Edwin DeVies Vanderhoop of Aquinnah died at the Martha's Vineyard Hospital on Wednesday, Jan. 16. He was 86.
His funeral will be held on Monday, Jan. 21 at 11 a.m. at the Community Baptist Church on Meetinghouse Way in Aquinnah, followed by interment in the family lot at the Gay Head Cemetery. A visitation will be held on Sunday, Jan. 20 in the afternoon and evening at the church. Donations in Edwin's memory may be made to the Aquinnah Cultural Center, 10 Black Brook Road, Aquinnah, MA 02535.
Arrangements are under the care of the Chapman, Cole & Gleason Funeral Home, Oak Bluffs. A complete obituary will follow in a later edition of the Gazette.


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Richard Nixon had a crisis mentality. In 1962, unhappily out of public office, he wrote an autobiographical account entitled Six Crises. Whereas some presidents have faced real crises, however, Nixons were more the product of his personal sense of siege. As president he twice declared a state of national emergency, first on March 23, 1970, in response to a strike by postal workers and then on August 15, 1971, when balance-of-payments problems, among other things, led him to adopt an important set of policies called the New Economic Plan. (Whether any of the Presidents advisers appreciated that the same name had been given to the policies implemented by Soviet dictator Vladimir Lenin in 1921, I do not know, but someone should have known.)
Like most incumbent politicians, Nixon gladly took advantage of crises to augment his power, but he did not simply sit waiting for an emergency to come along. For him, the risk that he might not be reelected was crisis enough. According to his economic adviser Herbert Stein, he tended to worry exceedingly about his reelection prospects and so to feel impelled to extreme measures to assure his reelection. Years before the election of 1972, Nixon and his aides began to scheme how they could maximize the likelihood of his reelection by manipulating the economy and creating as much apparent prosperity as possible before election day.
The New Economic Plan included several important elements, as described in the 1972 Annual Report of the Council of Economic Advisers: The United States suspended the convertibility of the dollar into gold or other reserve assets, for the first time since 1934. It imposed a temporary surcharge, generally at the rate of 10 percent, on dutiable imports. Prices, wages, and rents were frozen for 90 days, to be followed by a more flexible and durablebut still temporarysystem of mandatory controls. In no way did this set of policies reflect sound economic principles. Political expediency was its sole driving force.
Price Controls
Nothing illustrates Nixons political opportunism better than his imposition of mandatory controls over wages, prices, and rents. The President, who had served as a low-level functionary in the Office of Price Administration during World War II, had often expressed an aversion to price controls, which, he declared during the campaign of 1968, can never be administered equitably and are not compatible with a free economy. Yet, as James Reichley has observed, Nixon was not prepared to take extreme political risks for the sake of economic dogmas.
Having convinced himself that his defeat in the presidential election of 1960 had resulted from the Eisenhower administrations failure to generate favorable macroeconomic conditions on the eve of the election, Nixon was determined not to suffer again from the same kind of mistake. His latent fears were sharply aroused in 1970 and 1971, when the new administrations restrictive fiscal and monetary policies had a more immediate effect in raising the rate of unemployment than in reducing the rate of inflation.
Impatient that the governments macroeconomic policies seemed to be working so slowly, many politically important people began to call for direct price controls: Union leaders, big businessmen, members of Congress, potential presidential candidates in the next election, high-ranking economists in the treasury department, even Federal Reserve Board chairman Arthur Burnsall prodded the president to impose an incomes policy because, as Burns put it, the rules of economics are not working in quite the way they used to. Congress, as if daring Nixon to do what he insisted he would never do, passed the Economic Stabilization Act, authorizing the President to control all prices, wages, and rents. Nixon signed the bill with apparent reluctance on August 17, 1970.
Late in 1970 the appointment of the flamboyant John Connally as secretary of the treasury and his subsequent designation as the administrations chief economic spokesman tipped the balance toward more controls. Connally had few economic scruples; he specialized in dramatic political gestures, favoring, in Nixons football metaphor, the big play. He supported the imposition of controls because he thought it would appeal to the public as a sweeping, take-charge action by the President.
Nixon liked that aspect of the controls. As he later wrote in his memoirs, imposition of the controls was politically necessary and immediately popular in the short run. Indeed it was. The stock markets soared. As Stein noted, The Dow-Jones Average rose 32.9 points on Monday after the Presidents announcementthe biggest one-day increase up to that point. Opinion polls indicated a huge preponderance of approval of the Presidents action, a response that showed, in Steins view, how shallow was the general support in principle for the basic characteristics of a free market economy. A year later, with rigorous controls still in force, Nixon was reelected by a huge margin.
Do Price Controls Work?
Economists, with notable exceptions, can be relied on to testify that price controls dont work, and in the sense that economists have in mindactually reducing inflation, not simply suppressing its manifestationstheir conclusion is correct. From a political perspective, however, this claim misses the point. Price controls do workto gain short-run political support for the politicians who impose them. The public seems never to learn that it is being sold a faulty political product. As Stein remarked, even after all of the economic disruptions, artificial scarcities, and inequities of Nixons price-control program, which finally ended on April 30, 1974, the experience did not leave the country with a strong commitment to the free market, monetarist way of restraining inflation. The attraction of the direct approach remained. Only four years later, the Carter administration yielded to political temptation and imposed another incomes policy, albeit a half-hearted one entirely reliant on indirect sanctions rather than legal penalties.
The most important legacy of Nixons wage-price-rent control program was the governments energy price controls and allocations that persisted long after the comprehensive price controls had expired. When the first energy crisis struck, the administration was looking forward to disengagement from its no-longer-useful incomes policy. But given the lingering presence of the price controls, the Arab oil embargo and the OPEC price hikes of late 1973 and early 1974 quickly led in many areas to short supplies that were rationed mainly by the customers waiting in the infamous gas lines. The inconvenience and uncertainty were more than the American public could bear. There immediately arose, in William Simons words, collective hysteria. . . . The political heat was on both Congress and the executive to solve the problem overnight.
Congress solved the problem, all right, as anyone who endured the manifold foul-ups of the two energy crises (197374 and 197980) will recall. Only with Ronald Reagans election and the scrapping of all oil-price controls was the mess permitted to clean itself up through market processes. Even then, however, a complex system of price controls lingered for natural gas, a political dragon too fearful for even Sir Ronald to slay. Not until 1993 were these controls terminated fully.


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Although there are still some conflicting stories about how the ever-popular cupcake came about, it's generally agreed that they got their name by the method they were made: One cup of butter, two cups of sugar, three cups of four, and so on, all in nice even cup-based measures. Eventually, it seems like younger generations that have become removed from the baking process only saw the product, and assumed that they were named because they were all baked in little cups, thus their small size and shape. These days, most people just think of cupcakes as miniature cakes, and not much more. If you ask me, the cupcake still has a bit more evolving to do, and the next step is pretty clear, isn't it?
Naturally, it only makes sense that they become literal cups made out of cake!
Browsing through a quirky little junk store, a pile of silicon ice cube trays and various molds caught my eye, and I dug in, thinking of the adorable frozen shapes I might plop into cold drinks. However, it was the shot glass mold that grabbed my attention, and after confirming that it was oven safe up to about 500 degrees, I began scheming my grand cupcake plan.
Going with nontraditional Asian flavors, I whipped up a quick matcha-flavored batter, pouring it into the molds and placing a sheet pan underneath just for insurance. As predicted, it did bubble up but not over, and so the mushroomed ends simply needed a trim once cooled. The tricky part came when it was time to remove them. Despite a liberal spray of cooking oil with flour, those cakes refused to loosen their grip on the silicon, and my first victim tore horrifically. Thinking on my toes, I tossed the remaining cups into the freezer, forgot about them for a few hours, and was able to take them out intact once fully frozen.
Filled to the brim with sweet adzuki bean mousse, the presentation was almost as good as the taste! This is one format that the frosting-lovers among us would adore, since the deep pocket allows for far more filling than any standard cupcake. While it may take a bit more effort to make, this latest evolution of the cupcake might be it's most impressive yet. I won't tell if you just use this mousse in any old cake though, since it's far too good to be contained to just one type of baked good!
Adzuki Bean Mousse
2 Cups Cooked Adzuki Beans
6 Ounces (1/2 Package) Firm Silken Tofu
1/4 Cup Plain Soymilk
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1/2 Cup Dark Brown Sugar, Packed
1/2 Cup Granulated Sugar
2 Tablespoons Instant Clear Gel
Toss your cooked beans and tofu into a food processor or blender, and crank up the power. Once the mixture is mostly pureed and there are no more chunks of tofu remaining, add in the soymilk and vanilla, and pulse to combine. In a separate bowl, mix together both sugars and the instant clear gel, and slowly sift these dry ingredients into your machine while the motor is running. Once fully incorporated, continue blending for a minute or two to dissolve the sugar, scraping down the sides as needed, until the mixture feels mostly smooth and slightly thickened. Pipe into or on top of cupcakes, or eat with a spoon- Those beans make it much healthier than your average mousse, after all!
This is my entry for September's Sugar High Friday, hosted by Fanny. It's not too late to join in on the fun, so check out the details and post about your own creative cupcakes!


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Both Mrs.Hillary Clinton, the outgoing US Secretary of State, and Mr.John Kerry, her successor-designate already officially nominated by President Barack Obama, are public servants of style and substance who had distinguished themselves as Senators for their knowledge of the world and expertise.
2.Ms.Condoleezza Rice, who was Secretary of State during the second term of Mr.George Bush, and Mrs. Clinton were different from the traditional cold war style of Secretaries of State that one had seen before them. They realized that they had to operate in a world that had changed and that continued to change after the end of the Cold War and that the old style of policy-making, execution and projection that served the US well during the days of the Cold War, would no longer serve it well.
3. They diluted the elitist tradition that dominated the functioning and thinking of the US State Department before them. Public diplomacy and greater policy maker-people interaction became their defining characteristics. They discarded the traditional aloofness of US foreign policy makers and encouraged their staff in the State Department to do so too.
4.Mrs.Clinton was the most out-going and transparent Secretary of State that the US has had who never hesitated to speak her mind out whether to China or Pakistan or other countries. She could be blunt without being unpleasant in her interactions with her counterparts from other countries. One had a glimpse of her quintessential style of public diplomacy during her town hall interactions with selected members of the civil society in Kolkata earlier this year moderated by Barkha Dutt of NDTV.
5. Mr.Kerry is as knowledgeable as Ms. Rice and Mrs. Clinton and his expertise in moulding policies is considerable. But in a commentary on Mr.Kerry after he was nominated by Mr.Obama, the BBC described him as "deliberate and strategic" in thinking, but secretive in style. A commentary by the "Christian Science Monitor" drew attention to Mr.Kerry's past reputation of elitist aloofness.
6.Many commentators feel that public or people-to-people diplomacy of the kind in which Mrs.Clinton excelled as we saw in Kolkatta does not come naturally to Mr.Kerry. It is said that Mrs.Clinton was an excellent team manager in running the State Department. One has misgivings whether Mr.Kerry would be an equally good and warm team manager.
7. In fact, Mr.Kerry was not Mr.Obama's first choice as Secretary of State to succeed Mrs.Clinton. His first choice reportedly was Ms.Susan Rice, the US Ambassador to the UN, who would have been in the mould of Mrs.Clinton, but Ms.Rice's controversial statements regarding the attack on the US Consulate in Benghazi in September, which came in for criticism from some Republican Senators, made it doubtful whether she would be confirmed by the Senate. Mr.Kerry should have a smooth sailing in the Senate because of his experience as a Senator and as the Chairman of the Senate Foreign relations Committee.
8.While the style of Mr.Kerry could be different from that of Mrs.Clinton, in substance one is unlikely to see any changes in foreign policy except in nuances in relation to China and Pakistan. The broad features of foreign policy are largely decided by the President on the basis of inputs and advice from the Secretary of State, the Defence Secretary, the National Security Adviser and the Director of the CIA.
9.One has to wait to see whom Mr.Obama nominates to the posts of Defence Secretary and Director, CIA, before assessing what could be the totality of the impact of the team as a whole on the foreign policy during the second term of Mr.Obama. Three constants in respect of China have to be kept in view: Firstly, during 2012, the US replaced the European Union as the largest buyer of Chinese goods. The economic dependence between the two countries would rule out any adversarial relationship of a permanent nature. Secondly, the strong support in the Congress for Japan's sovereignty claims in the East China Sea and for continued supply of military equipment to Taiwan would keep alive the trust deficit between the two countries despite the flourishing bilateral trade. Thirdly, the US could press ahead with its policy of strengthening its Asian presence through continued support to some ASEAN countries on the question of their rights in the South China Sea and further diversify its growing ties with Myanmar, which would be, in long term, to the detriment of China.
10. Mrs.Clinton vigorously pursued and projected the policy of enhanced presence in the Asia-Pacific region to counter Chinese activism and to reassure the ASEAN countries and Japan. The projection and execution of this policy by Mr.Kerry to protect the interests of the US and its allies would avoid the rough edges of Mrs.Clinton without changing the overall US objectives in the region.
11.The continued importance of India during Mr.Obama's first term was partly the result of Mr.Obama's own conviction on the role that India could and should play as an emerging Asian power on par with China and partly the outcome of the energy and enthusiasm imparted by her to the growing strategic multi-dimensional relationship between the US and India. This is a policy constant that will continue under Mr.Kerry.
12. Mr.Obama continues to attach importance to pursuing a tough counter-terrorism policy in the Af-Pak region partly to prevent any more threats to the US homeland from terrorists based in this region and partly to maintain stability in Afghanistan despite the thinning out of the US presence in Afghanistan.
13. While vis-à-vis China, Mr.Kerry will enjoy some latitude in the way the policy as laid down by Mr.Obama is projected and executed , Mr.Obama is expected to continue in the driving seat in respect of the Af_Pak region. At the same time, one has to remember that Mr.Kerry has greater sensitivity to the strategic interests and concerns of Pakistan in the Afghanistan region than Mrs.Clinton and pays heed to the perceptions of the Pakistan Army. He might try to moderate the consequences of Mr.Obama's present tough policy towards Pakistan in order to soften Pakistani perceptions towards the US.
14.It remains to be seen whether Mr.Kerry would play a more active role in identifying and executing policy options in respect of Syria and Iran. There was an impression that Mrs.Clinton, who has future political ambitions of her own, avoided too activist a role in West Asia and the Gulf lest any policy mishap come in the way of her future political interests.
15. Many believe that Mr.Obama would want Mr.Kerry to show greater activism in West Asia and the Gulf than Mrs. Clinton did—particularly in Syria. Those who had seen Mr.Kerry's policy flip-flops in relation to the regime change policy of Mr.Bush in Iraq—-he first supported it in the Senate, and then marked his distance from the policy of Mr.Bush— wonder whether Mr.Kerry would have the stomach for a vigorous regime change policy in Syria. ( 28-12-12)
( The writer is,B.Raman, Additional Secretary (retd), Cabinet Secretariat, Govt of India, New Delhi, and, presently, Director, Institute for Topical Studies, Chennai, and Associate of the Chennai Centre for China Studies. E-Mail email@example.com .Twitter: @SORBONNE75)


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© Charles D. Hayes
Picture a young man who's born and raised in the post-war South, trained in the Marines, and steeped in the ideological culture of Texas law enforcement. That's who I was in the early 1960s. Like millions of others, I had internalized the popular ideas of my geographic region, which imbued me with a xenophobic and racist worldview as the one true window on reality. I was up to my neck in mainstream indifference. It would be another decade before I embarked on the process of self-education that would enable me to begin awakening intellectually.
Mainstream indifference is a form of ignorance born of inattention and apathy. Depending solely upon appearances, it is fed by pettiness and gravitation toward whatever seems easiest. It revels in anti-aesthetics, bad faith, an absence of mindfulness, and a total lack of reflection about matters vital for making sense of the world. Not just half-hearted, these are half-headed efforts. Devoid of compassion, mainstream indifference is a hostile, authoritative, and testosterone-laden environment where the weak are ridiculed and the poor are held in contempt, regardless of the circumstances for their plight.
This anti-intellectual mindset leads to the kind of situation where, as recently as 1998, unthinking white men can assume that it's acceptable to drag a black man behind a pickup truck until he is dead, as happened to 49-year-old James Byrd in Jasper, Texas, or to murder a young man like Matthew Shepard in Wyoming simply because he is gay.
In effect, mainstream indifference is a selfish, cliché-ridden, and narrow-minded refuge for racists, bigots, misanthropes, and misogynists. It's a psychological wasteland where thoughtless people are bound together by a yoke of stupidity that's wholly accepted as plain old common sense. Such thinking frequently betrays itself, however, as seething hatred, complete with public demonstrations of contempt for "others" when, actually, a lack of curiosity is the real culprit. The social realm where it thrives is anti-intellectual to the bone, feeding upon a disdain for eloquence in literature, the arts, and all serious endeavors that require cerebral verve.
This deeply internalized conviction is often vested in superstition, intermingled with conspiracy theory, and held so dear that it cannot be acknowledged for what it really is—a profoundly malignant strain of despair shared by a fearful populace who are unified by their own lack of awareness and bonded by a form of hatred so spurious that it feeds off itself. I understand this level of relating because I was a frequent participant before I began my own journey of self-education. I have seen how such insensitivity infects otherwise good people who don't set out in any way to harm others but wind up doing so because of an inherent default to the worst human instincts. Indifference lies at its core.
In 1987, Holocaust survivor and Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel put this mystery of human nature in crystal clear perspective. He said, "The opposite of memory is not forgetfulness. The opposite of memory is indifference. What is the opposite of art? Not ugliness. Indifference. What is the opposite of faith? Not heresy, but indifference. What is the opposite of life? Not death, but indifference to life and death."
Indeed, history has shown that indifference is often a breeding ground for evil, allowing social relations to deteriorate to a point where facts are less important than choosing sides. In a democracy dependent on accountable citizenship, indifference is a spiritless sidestepping of responsibility and a serious impediment to achieving authenticity.
My perspective about learning and relating to others stems from the advantage of seriously pursuing education later than most, when I already had some worldly experience under my belt. Even though it's nearly impossible to remember what it's like not to know something after you've learned it, I still have a keen understanding of what it's like to internalize a racist social outlook without the cognizance to know better. Hatred thrives on indifference, but knowledge fosters tolerance, even a measure of tolerance for indifference. I'm quite certain that, had I not embraced self-education as a lifelong endeavor, I would have become a frustrated and anxious individual by now, very likely convinced that any reason there might be for my not achieving more in life was someone else's fault.
Today millions of Americans have such an outlook, and what's so disappointing is that I know how they feel. After more than three decades of voracious reading, writing, and reflecting, however, I'm convinced that curiosity can overpower indifference. I also know that reaching a level of interest about any subject powerful enough to become a self-sustaining form of motivation can be a hard thing to do. Still, I think for most people it's not a question of having enough time but rather how they choose to spend what time they do have. Intellectual maturity is a function of deliberate learning, not of age. True adulthood is not possible without it.
Reflective maturity involves the kind of intellectual honesty that enables clear scrutiny of our hidden prejudices as well as the ability to discern patterns of self-defeating behavior. This need not be an unpleasant experience. Maturity is not the time to shrink from responsibility; it's the time to assume it. Later life is not a time to become set in our ways, but rather a time to figure out how and why we have "ways" at all. It's a time for lifelong liberals to look for value in conservatism and a time for conservatives to do the reverse.
Learning in the September of one's life is exhilarating because of the vast perspective that years of lived experience provide. Maturity achieved is an unspoken yet glaring declaration not only that one has lived, but also that one has learned from the experience. (Adapted from The Rapture of Maturity: A Legacy of Lifelong Learning.)
My Books and Essays on Amazon
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The new Skills Panorama website, brought to you by the European Commission and powered by Cedefop, is now online. Skills Panorama turns labour market data into useful, accurate and timely intelligence that helps policy-makers in making their decisions on skills and jobs in Europe.
Labour markets and skills needs are constantly evolving. Skills Panorama helps you keep up with the latest developments and make useful comparisons to previous trends or identify anticipated changes.
It aims to improve Europe's capacity to assess and anticipate skill needs to help make education and training systems more responsive to labour market needs and to match better skill supply and demand across Europe.
Offering quality evidence is Skill Panorama's overarching objective. Data and information provided in the website should be clear, reliable, open and relevant.
View the online launch event here.
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Hi Dba's
Having a bit of a problem using adodfcmp
I can't apply the file the file that oracle sent me.
I am using the following command and no luck.
adodfcmp odffile=pomrc2.odf userid=apps/apps changedb=yes
Copyright (c) 1998 Oracle Corporation
Redwood Shores, California, USA
ODF (Object Description File) Comparison Utility
Version 11.5.0
NOTE: You may not use this utility for custom development
unless you have written permission from Oracle Corporation.
ODF Comparison Utility - adodfcmp: ERROR: You need to supply the mode argument
What am I doing wrong. This is the first time I'm using it. Any idea what I am suppose to do???


text:
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I flew out to Nashville on Thursday April 2. On the plane they showed an episode of The Office where there was a charity 5K run. The main character collapsed and just barely finished. I thought that was a good omen to have on my flight. Once at Nashville, I met fellow Barkley runner Robert and we drove to Frozen Head State Park - home of the Barkley. We didn't get there until after one in the morning so we slept in the car. The weather was a promising rainy night.
The next day we met with fellow runner Abi from Texas and helped set up some of the camp.
Then it was off to meet race director Gary "Lazarus Lake" Cantrell. Laz was a great guy - absolutely triggering a smile or laugh with every word (or sometimes a shudder of fear when discussing the course).
Around his site were the "prayer flags" banners made up of the license plate each first time runner (virgin) had to submit with their entry fee. He handed out numbers (I got #24) and race instructions.
As someone had asked if he was to give instructions for the reverse loop (after loops 1 and 2, runners must then switch directions and run the loops in counter-clockwise) Laz graciously complied and handed every runner a set of directions that would only make sense if held to a mirror (that is right - word for word of the clock-wise directions printed backwards).
We all carefully copied the route from the one single master map onto our own maps. There were 11 books spread out along the course and we made careful marks on the maps as to their (non-exact) locations. We purchased our race t-shirts. This year's showed an old lady lighting a cigarette from a cake that read "100". As starts the Barkley 100 by lighting a cigarette this was a great image. It also mentions the "Rat Bites" a reference to the lashes that runners receive as they pass through the saw briars on the course, especially on Rat Jaw. That night it was the pre-race dinner. Generally this is a pot-luck of food plus BBQ "Barkley Ranch" chicken (some years burnt on the outside - raw on the inside....the opposite of most runners after the Barkley).
One of Abi's son's was celebrating his 15th birthday so he received a round of "Happy Birthday" from all.
This was one of the best parts. I was able to put so many faces to names. I had exchanged many e-mails with runners about Barkley and other races. Now I had a chance to meet them. To the last one, they were a great group of people. Very outgoing and friendly. I guess the crazy and/or condemned reflect that "bird of a feather" concept.
Then it was off to a restless sleep. I came very unprepared and woke up in my tent freezing all night. Oh well....Barkley baptism.
The next morning we all gathered our gear and talked nervously and waited. There is no set start time for the race. Instead, whenever Laz feels like it, anytime after 12;)01 Saturday, he can blow the infamous conch shell. This gives runners a one hour notice that the race was about to begin. Laz made us wait and wait until almost 10:00 am (meaning almost all would be starting loop 2 - if they made it that far - in the dark). Finally, he let loose with the conch call.
Then we all scrambled. I gathered my gear, stuffing cold weather cloth in my pack. I decided to start with my Moeben sleeves and my Zensah calf wraps to help protect my recently healed calf. The day was actually already getting warm so I put the rest of my rain and cold gear in the bag along with my food and supplies. On my belt was my compass. I had my map and instructions in a bag also strapped to my belt. Frozen Ed and I chatted for a bit before the start.
Then we headed off to the start to await the ceremonial lighting of the cancer stick. Laz stated that "Now is the time in races where you receive the last minute words of advice. However, this is the Barkley." and then he lit his cigarette. We were off.
The run started up a series of switchbacks up Bird Mountain. This was a tough way to start, but not too bad. I had told myself not to push it and was actually holding back a bit. Yet I still found myself with some of the front runners including Mark Williams the first ever person to finish the full 5 loops of the Barkley. Also included was Claudio a runner from Italy. They started to out climb me near the peak, but then we reached a series of downhill switchbacks. I was having the time of my life - flying down the wet muddy switchbacks, with "trails" barely wider than the width of a show at pints...the wet dirt sometimes collapsing beneath and causing me to slip. It was in a beautiful forested area. As I continued down I started passing runners including Claudio and Mark (this would be the only time I would be in front of Mark who graciously stepped aside as he heard me coming). We reached book #1 - a Harrold Robbin's piece entitled: Never Enough. I tore my page (corresponding to my race number out) and continued on. Later I read my page.....interesting: Generally the books had titles related somehow to the race - this year it included: Children in the Woods; Adult Male Americans - Candidates for Heart Attack; Roughing It In The Bush and a Lazarus' Revenge, etc.
Across a small stream and then we started to climb. I had to stop and place my page in a baggie (virgin mistake - not being prepared) so lost touch with the group. But then I was off on my power hike up the hill. Soon I caught Claudio again. By the top of the climb a group of about 7 runners caught me and we headed off down into a briar patch near Bald Knob. I was leading but some took an alternate path through some briars that proved a bit faster so I found myself mid-pack. Then we came upon book 2.
We opened the book and most of us were surprised to see that someone had gotten to the book and removed blocks of pages. We decided to move up to the 300's so as not to take any other runner's pages and I took 324 of a Sydney Sheldon novel. Then we were off. As I climbed over a fallen tree my shoe caught something and I spun to the ground landing on my side and crashing my left knee into a rock or stump. Ouch! I checked to make sure I had everything and then headed down another series of fast and, at times, hard to switchbacks. These lead to a stream and twice I found myself below the actual "trail". Finally we reached the Son of a Bitch Ditch and I crossed it by tight-rope walking across a fallen tree that bridged the gap. Then I was off again.
Soon I neared the Coal Ponds - pits left from earlier coal mining that had been filled with water. There were beaver stumps all around. I got to the end of the pond and.....was alone saw no trail. I stood there and pulled out my compass and tried to see where to go and then noticed a trail dropping down to my left. I started to follow it but it went off the wrong way. As I turned around I saw Frozen Ed and a couple other runners heading up the hill. So I turned around and headed up there. It was a good climb and when I finally reached the top, Robert passed me. He looked very strong. We all got to book 3 at the Garden Spot and then headed down the trail to water stop # 1 (the only support on this race was two water stops). I grabbed a water jug and filled my bottles.
The trail continued up a bit and very soon we came across book 4 hidden in some stones on Stallion Mountain. I grabbed my page and then tore down the mountain. I got to a point where I was confused and started studying my map. Then another runner came up and he and I went down the trail. Here it was downhill...but I could not really run it. There were rocks to climb down and "trails" that I had really trouble spotting. Once I smashed my right foot into a hidden rock - my big toe is still oozing blood today and the nail is a fatality.
We both stopped a few times, but he had trained there once before so he had a better idea of where the trail was so off we went.
Soon, we came to the New River. We crossed this thigh-high river (felt good - but the briar scratches burned a bit). Then off to the other side. It was a very short climb to the road and then, in front of us, was Testicle Spectacle.
Wow - that Testicle Spectacle sure is a steep m-f'er. At the base was book 5 (see it hidden in the tree hallow?): We stopped and each grabbed a quick bite. I snapped a few photos. Then we were off....slowly up the climb.
At times the dirt was muddy and it was difficult to not slip down. As I passed some folks from a local university that were there filming, I looked at them and gasped: "I hate climbs" - the one guy smiled and said "I can see why."
I continued up and reached the top. The other runner had gotten there first and was already going down the jeep road on the other side. I also started down the road. It was pretty steep but I was in my element and was cruising the downhill. At this point I was starting to feel pretty good. My legs were strong, a little tired, but definitely strong. I had put one of the 3 big climbs behind me, had all 5 prior books with no issues, and had plenty of time.
At the base of the jeep road came the Neo Butt Slide. This was a perpendicular descent down some rocks which I took slowly. Then onto a trail which entered some woods. The instructions said that if I came to a road first I was below the target (Raw Dog Falls) and if I came to a stream first, I was above the falls. I came to the stream first and for whatever stupid moronic dumbass idiotic f'd up reason, mistakenly told myself that, despite the clear instructions, I was below the falls so I started following the stream up the mountain...and up....and up...through briar after briar. I came across a couple pig skulls. They had the same amount of brains in their empty dried up skulls as I had in mine at that moment.
Finally near the top of what turned out to be Armes Gap, I realized that something was not right. I consulted my map and compass and was feeling that I was stupid. I then re-read the instructions and confirmed that I was stupid.
I tore down the mountain through briars not carrying at all. Finally passed the falls ( I had to have been no more than 100 feet away from them originally before heading up hill). I gathered my book and found John Price there. The two of us started across the stream. There we had to get over an embankment and could use one of two routes: a straight up shorter climb called Danger Dave's Climbing Wall or an easier longer climb. We pussed out and chose the easier road (although not the one less taken I believe). We exited the Hallow and climbed to a road. Across the road was Pig's Head Creek...so noted by a pig's skull (much like the one I had found earlier) tied to the tree. John and I climbed that trail. It was pretty steep and full of briars. Soon that intersected an old jeep trail and we took that to the base of Rat Jaw.
At the base of Rat Jaw (a torturiously steep climb to the 3324 peak of Frozen Head mountain) were an old abandoned guard house and an old mine. We took about 2 minutes for some photos and then started climbing.
This climb starts up the mountain and then west towards the tower. A soon left John a bit behind as I turned left. I climbed to the point of a rocky bluff.
The instructions said "follow the bluff on your right". Being the stupid moronic dumbass idiotic f'd up person I am, decided that meant to keep the bluff to my right as I started climbing along to left side of it. Man - that was one of the deepest concentrations of briars I had come across. I was looking for a crevice to climb that also housed book 7. I hiked the length of that bluff and never found it - checking every possible crevice. I turned around and retraced my steps (and reaquainted myself with each briar) trying to find that crevice and book. I finally got back to the point and wondered if I should have gone to my right. I took no more than 20 steps and there was the crevice. I think Laz could hear me cussing at myself way back at camp.
Thanks to my two bonehead mistakes I easily burned nearly 2 valuable hours. I grabbed my page and climbed the crevice. I started up the final (very steep) climb to the base of the tower. Did I mention it was steep? By now I had gotten into the habit of using a piece of wood as a hiking stick and found a nice one with a point already carved on it. I reached the top to find the Troubador waiting. He pointed me to the water jugs and off I went to the final water stop (not too soon either as I was out of water). I filled my bottles and ate some tuna fish I had packed and downed a coke that was there. I pulled on my jacket and started on down the road.
The next book was placed up on something called the Hump. I followd the directions and found the small square stone marker that indicated the "path". The instructions said that this was a "new" trail....I think it meant we were the first to blaze it. Anyway, I followed a tiny trail of newly turned leaves straight up and easily found the next book behind a log...where John Price was sitting.
We gathered our pages and took off. It was just getting dark so we snapped on our lights and headed through a forest of saw briars towards a campground. Campers greeted us and we headed on through. Then down a rocky trail to the next book. This book was pretty easy to find, in a crevice in a rock formation called the "Needle's Eye" - a stone tunnel of storts. We grabbed our page and left. Straight down was a briar infested hill of boulders and brush and mud that was our next trail - called The Zip Line.
Because it was dark we couldn't really sight on anything so John and I used compass readings to get down this hill. John would usually sight and I was leading picking a trail. I would shine my light where I intended to go and he would indicate left or right per the compass. Every so often I double checked with my compass. Every now and then one of us would catch a briar across the leg or arm or lip or scalp. Plus, there was the random slip and falls. But, using this method we made it down the zip line between two streams. The instructions said to follow to where the streams merged and there would be book 10.
John and I got to the merge - but could find no book. We searched and searched. Finally I saw some lights to our east. I suggested we go to those lighst and soon we came upon another stream. We followed it until it merged with our first "stream". But another problem. The instructions stated that there was a high dirt embankment at the merge. Here there was none. John and I searched and searched. We had burned at least an hour looking for the damned book. Finally we started heading downstream some more and came across yet another merge. This one had a high dirt embankment. I climbed it and John stayed at the merge. I searched every f'n tree in an acre around that merge and could find no book - not even a pamphlet or postage stamp. Nothing.
We had lost upwards of two hours and with only 20 minutes before cut-off (and a huge climb called Big Hell between us and the finish) we knew we were done. No loop for us. We followed the stream down to where it met BeechFork road. We followed that out to the highway (Highway 62 I believe was the number). We were both frustrated, cold and disappointed. As we trdged down the highway with atleast another 5 miles back to camp, a truck pulls alongside and the driver asks if we would like a ride back to teh camp. It was David Horton - a Barkley alum!
We jumped into his truck and he drives us back. John knows this legend well - it was my first opportunity to meet him. He asked us about our race and we told him about our futile attempts to find book 10. He stated: "Hey - that is where I was disqualified that one year". Once we got back to the camp, John and I sheepishly exited the truck and walked up to Gary. He simply smiled, pulled out hus bugle and played the requiste "Taps" for each of us. I chatted with Gary for a bit and then headed off to the showers. Soon I was in bed, still kicking myself for burning so much time on my stupid navigational errors and not being able to find, what Gary called, the "easiest book to find".
In the morning I congratulated other runners on their completion of a loop and then cheered on others as they completed 2 loops and even a few on their Fun Run finishes (3 loops). Among the 2 loops finishes where Frozen Ed and Carl Asker and Johnny D.
Gary was kind enough to play for them, along with all other runners (well, almost all - see below) Taps on his bugle:
One runner, Andrew Thompson was still out going for the full 5 loops. He looked incredibly strong as he headed out on loop 5. Gary started his loop with the ringing of the cow bell symbolizing the bell lap. Shortly thereafter the weather turned from cold to sleet. Then it started to snow. But Andrew did it - completing it in 57:37!!! It was great to be there and witness history (I saw him head off on loop 5 but because I had to get home for my upcoming wedding in 3 days, couldn't hang around for the finish. Sorry Andrew).
The Barkley left me with great memories - and souvenairs of my attempt. I have a few cuts and scratches from rocks, some really nice poison ivy ony my legs and arms. I also have many Rat Bites - those beautiful loving kisses from the briars that their own unique hickies on my legs and arms:
As I was preparing to leave the college students interviewed me and Frozen Ed about the foods we eat on ultras. Then, they asked us to summarize "The Barkley" in one word. I said "Addictive" - because I truly am addicted to this event. The atmosphere, the people, the challenge - all incredible. As I drove back to the Nashville airport I contemplated that question and my response. Yes, I am addicted - it is a one hit addiction - that Barkley drug.
But I have reconsidered. If I have to describe the Barkley in one word, the word I would choose is "HUMBLING". I was humbled by the challenge - after doing Mont Blanc and Leadville successfully two weeks apart, after buckling at Badwater, after p.r.'ing at the Keys 100, I did not even do a single loop at Barkley. I was humbled by the poeple. The other runners, no matter their age, were much better than I (and were so modest and friendly, taking me in almost as family). Most did at least one loop, some 2, 3 and even 5. In their presence, my experience was put into perspective. Finally, I was humbled by the course and the surrounding nature to which I bore witness. The raw beauty of the forests, the ruggedness of the terrain, the serenity of the streams and the magnitude of the mountains put me in perspective. One's soul would have to be numb not to be humbled in Frozen Head State Park.
20 comments:
- Peter Lubbers said...
Wow, Alan, that's one tough race! Hope you get all 5 next year.
- April 7, 2009 at 6:05 PM
- Rajeev said...
Congratulations on yet another achievement - starting Barkley. I am sure the experience will let you get all 5 loops next year!!!
Proud of you!!!!!!
- April 7, 2009 at 9:55 PM
- Pierre-Yves said...
Fascinating story Alan, thanks for sharing your experience. It seems so much beyond an ultra!
- April 7, 2009 at 10:37 PM
- Thomas said...
That's a great write-up, Alan. I think Barkley is one I'll give a miss - I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to be looking for some damn books in the middle of nowhere.
It's a fantastic adventure, though.
- April 8, 2009 at 4:49 AM
- Paige said...
Love it, GREAT report, Alan! I loved all the pic's too; it's cool to see a little bit of what it is you guys are talking about.
- April 8, 2009 at 7:31 AM
- Unknown said...
Great report,what an awesome adventure!!
- April 8, 2009 at 8:19 AM
- David Ray said...
Great report! Thanks for providing the insider perspective on a legendary race.
- April 8, 2009 at 8:26 AM
- Paul said...
Your report was fascinating. I now have an idea of just how hard this event is, as well as an appreciation of the unique aspects of this race that draw people out there. Your final summation at the end was oustanding.
You are one crazy and inspiring dude.
- April 8, 2009 at 9:37 AM
- christopher said...
Alan, your words and pictures mirror your heroic effort. thank you for sharing. I will join you soon at Barkley
- April 8, 2009 at 10:20 AM
- Andy B. said...
Great report Alan. You really give a good "picture" of what it's like to be out on the course by your descriptions, and the photos are great.
Sorry you didn't finish the loop, but you'll be that much better prepared for the next time.
- April 8, 2009 at 10:33 AM
- RetainingWallExpert said...
Alan - How could you miss the Beech Tree Hollow book? That one is nearly the THE EASIEST book to find! You did great and and should be proud - way to go! joek, cin, oh
- April 8, 2009 at 11:01 AM
- Steve Pero said...
Hi Alan....
Great story and nice with the pictures.
In 2001 I went down and was able to get through the fun run. I was younger, fitter and probably stupider. But one thing I never said was that wanted to go back. I got the FR done, knew that the 100 was not possible (for me), so let it be.
Good luck with your new addiction,
- April 8, 2009 at 1:58 PM
- Christian Griffith, Run100Miles.com said...
Right on Alan.
Great story.
See ya in one month
- April 8, 2009 at 3:09 PM
- Mark Tanaka (Ultrailnakaman) said...
Nice report, Alan-- gives me a better feel for the course than articles I've read. So yeah, maybe I WILL try that before I'm 50....
Hey, I thought lawyers were really good at interpreting the subtle nuances of words..... I'm sure you're experience is fairly common for a rookie, so don't feel too bad. It sound like you'll definitely be back and will definitely have at least 1 loop.
- April 8, 2009 at 3:35 PM
- Clara said...
Awesome job! I'm sorry you didn't finish and were disappointed. I was looking forward to some of your messed up feet pictures?? Tuna during the run? Yuck! Random question- Did any women attempt the race?
- April 9, 2009 at 4:27 AM
- Clara said...
Oh ya- congrats on the wedding! Have fun in Italy!!!
- April 9, 2009 at 4:27 AM
- Unknown said...
Thanks for the great race report. I love the pictures and especially loved the video of Laz playing Taps. I hope I can get in next year, the more I read and hear about Barkley, the more I want to be a part!
Congratulations on your wedding!
- April 10, 2009 at 3:35 PM
- Chris Roman said...
Hey Alan. Congrats on just being there, that is awesome in its own right. Your pics and account put that crazy race in even better perspective. Never thought of trying before and now NEVER will. What an awesome feat to accomplish that race in its entirety. Congrats on the wedding as well. See you in the Keys soon!
- April 13, 2009 at 7:20 AM
- Drs. Cynthia and David said...
Sorry you weren't successful at your attempt. It sounds like quite the adventure anyway though! I grew up trekking through the wilds of N. Carolina with my father, so this event has a twisted appeal to me too. There's definitely a trick to navigating briars!
I've tried smoked salmon and sushi on ultras, and it goes down nice. What is your fueling strategy, besides tuna?
- April 14, 2009 at 1:48 AM
- 32 degrees said...
what a story, and like you said... humbling. brutal pain-train. thanks for the great write up.
- March 31, 2010 at 7:04 PM