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The Caretaker is a parent, spouse, sibling or child of a Cloudcuckoolander, a Delicate and Sickly person, an Ophelia, or a Squishy Wizard who takes care of them. They put their lives on hold to make sure their loved one is well taken care of and hopefully happy, often when the rest of the family actively passes the ball or abandons their relative entirely.
Most of the time they're defined more by their ward than as a character themselves. Since most stories center on their ill relative, they're often relegated to being the overprotective guardian who actively discourages their loved one from any and all self-realization, love, and risky activity in general. And that's if they're attentive; a negligent or resentful Caretaker will put the Dursleys' cruelty to shame. Only rarely is there middle ground for a "dynamic" caretaker who encourages their ward while not completely losing the ability to have a life of their own.
What happens next is even more of a downer. Once their loved one is cured/finds true love/dies, (One of these three always happens, there is no Status Quo Is God where The Littlest Cancer Patient and his ilk are involved) they end up... stuck. They have no life to go back to, as care for their loved one was priority number one, and get stuck on what to do next with their lives. This often leads would be suitors or the loved one calling them out that they need their sick loved one more than the loved one needs them.
When the Caretaker is allowed to take center stage, they often have to deal with metric tons of Angst, both from love, resentment, frustration, sheer sadness, wishing their loved one were dead and guilt at the last four. Honestly, they rarely get the kudos they deserve.
Unless, of course, they become what might be called an "activist" caretaker, in which case they not only care for their relative, they practically quest for a cure or better treatment on the part of society. Activists usually manage a happier ending, either partially or fully healing their ward, carving out a niche for them in society, rehabilitating them, or at least helping others do the above.
Not to be confused with Crusty Caretaker. Or caretakers in general, if you're British. See also Living Emotional Crutch. Has strong overlap with The Champion, indeed is likely to be the same person. The Cloudcuckoolander's Minder is more "babysitting a weirdo" than "caring for an invalid" and thus more comical, though they could overlap, if the invalid in question is well....weird. Compare Protectorate. If the relationship between caretaker and charge becomes romantic, see Florence Nightingale Effect.
Not to Be Confused with the musician The Caretaker, or the eponymous entity from the pilot episode of Star Trek: Voyager.
- Farnese ends up taking up this role for Casca in Berserk when she joins Guts' group. She has something of an inferiority complex about it seemingly being the only thing she does; she's usually just as helpless as Casca in a fight. It prompts her to start learning magic so she can contribute (and gratefully, she takes her first real lesson right when Casca gets cured).
- Exaggerated in A Channel. Run is so ditzy that she pretty much would have gotten herself killed if not for Tooru, and Tooru is so protective of her that she threatens Run's male classmates with a baseball bat for simply talking to her.
- The backstory of Chrono Crusade reveals that Rosette almost took on this role for her little brother Joshua. After they became orphaned, Joshua developed holy powers which also caused him to be constantly sick. Rosette tells Chrono that she wants to become a doctor to cure him (giving up on her dream of being an explorer), but Joshua overhears her and attempts to defy the trope by agreeing to become a member of the Magdalan Order. However, Aion gets to him first and promises him the chance to gain enough power to control his illness...and kidnaps him, which sets off the events of the main storyline.
- The manga also has the minor character Beth, one of Rosette's old friends from the Order that later grows up to be her doctor.
- Later Joshua also gets Fiore as his caretaker — not because he's sick, but because the power Aion promised him drove him completely insane. She seems to be around to protect other people from Joshua as much as she's around to take care of Joshua himself.
- Lelouch of Code Geass takes on the The Empire, and eventually the entire world with almost no qualms about the sacrifices it would take specifically to build a world where his little sister can live peacefully, though he realizes that he has been using his sister as an excuse for his real motive: to make a better world.
- In Eureka Seven, Will B. Baxter tends to his catatonic wife Martha's every need without complaint or despair. She's probably not aware of the situation, and hasn't been able to move, at all, in years. At least, until she gets up to see Will immediately before they both die.
- Played With in Fruits Basket. Akito frequently either pretends to be sick or conveniently gets sick (whether it's intentional or not, the root is clearly psychological) in an attempt to invoke this response. It works on Hatori, at any rate (Hatori's the family doctor, and Akito's the head of the family, so he doesn't really have a choice). Kureno also seems to think of himself as Akito's caretaker (looking more toward Akito's emotional needs), although his attempts to help really just make things worse for both of them. In the end, Akito ends up getting better both emotionally and physically thanks to Tohru, and later she lets go of both Kureno and Hatori as well as the rest.
- Played for Laughs in K-On! with Yui and Ui. Ui is often shown taking care of Yui, and has become hyper-competent as a result (which is thoroughly lampshaded by the rest of the cast). However, she has no idea what to do with herself when Yui isn't around. Late in the second season, their positions are briefly reversed, which leads to Yui writing the song "U&I" as a heartfelt gesture for everything Ui has done for her.
- In Madlax, Elenore Baker is the caretaker of Margaret Burton — an amnesiac, infantile, and slightly insane last descendant of a rich family. Of course, Elenore is also a Ninja Maid who gets paid for her service, but her Undying Loyalty to Margaret clearly goes beyond professional duty.
- My-HiME's main character, Mai Tokiha, completely defines her life around taking care of her equally selfless younger brother. This was brought on by an accident in which their mother saves Takumi but later dies. Before she died, she made Mai promise to always look after Takumi and she took it to heart. He eventually calls her out to find a reason to live besides him, or else he won't agree to his treatment. This can be seen in how she naturally falls into taking care of Mikoto as her roommate.
- Cornelia, for Juliet in Romeo � Juliet.
- Shannon and Raquel are both caretaker and protector to their sister not really Pacifica in Scrapped Princess. Though Pacifica isn't actually ill, she is hunted by agents of the state and religious authorities.
- Sakura from Zombie Land Saga straddles the line between this and Cloud Cuckoo Landers Minder. Her subject of care after the first episode is Tae, who happens to be a literally mindless zombie. Sakura is the one who keeps her from eating markers, dresses her up before performances, and gives her the commands necessary to be part of the Idol Singer group the zombies compose. She's also the only one to consistently talk to Tae like an actual person, albeit a very naive person. Unusually for this trope, this is portrayed with few if any negative implications; Sakura is living her (un)life to the fullest she can, and does not appear to be dependant on or manipulative of Tae in any manner. It probably helps that she is The Heart of the group as a whole.
- Sunnyville Stories: A positive example - Sam to Rusty, who keeps an eye on him, acts as a voice of reason and even goes as far as to feed him and introduce him to the townspeople in the very first story.
- Superman is possibly an example of this trope, as odd as that may sound; as he is usually depicted as leaping into a situation based on his own assumption that he is doing what other people want, generally without bothering to actually stop and ask first. It's also implied that being a Caretaker for humanity is Supes' only real reason to exist.
- In The Feel of Feelings, Hermione assumed this role for a partially crazy Harry after his release from two years unjustly spent in Azkaban, only to be chided by a mutual friend that treating Harry like a child wouldn't exactly foster his ability to take care of himself.
- Flag Flying High has Harry assuming the burden of being Mo Xuanyu's only positive support, as his abusive family would rather tend to worsen his mental state. However, Harry mentally acknowledges how tiring it is for a teenager to watch over a mentally ill grown up man liable to self-harm or to make sexual advances on his friend, leading Harry to grow some resentment.
- Jenny, the sister to blind Virgil in At First Sight. She was incredibly overprotective, but got to justify her reactions as years of disappointment of quack doctors, as well as receiving a Promotion to Parent for her brother at a young age. Though she was called out on her faults, she got a chance to see them and mend her ways while her brother was temporarily cured of his blindness.
- Benny from Benny & Joon. An important subplot throughout the film is his struggle with the realization that Joon, his mentally ill sister, can take care of herself better than he thinks and that he uses her reliance on him as an excuse to not live his own life. By the end of the film he understands this, and is able to enter a real romantic relationship for the first time, while Joon is allowed to get her own apartment.
- In Eternals, Gilgamesh has been taking care of Thena since she started going insane from having more memories than her mind can hold. Partially because her mindwipe after their last mission didn't fully take, and she's remembering the destruction of the last world they were sent to.
- Nell in the remake of The Haunting (1999) was the caretaker and daughter of an abusive bedridden mother. She had no life savings from taking care of her mother, and her sister was taking possession of their mother's house. Oh, and she dies at the end while taking down the evil ghost of the mansions owner. I believe the term "martyr" had people like her in mind.
- In the original film, and the book it's based on, it's Eleanor that was the caretaker, even to living as a recluse — the haunting took advantage of her feeling of isolation and resentment.
- Lorenzo's Oil has a startling two parents work as Caretakers for Lorenzo, all while being Activists and independently researching a possible cure for his slow mental shutdown and helping dozens of others as the ending Montage advertises. Needless to say they were able to pull it off because they could rely on each other to care for Lorenzo, but they (especially Michaela) did become overprotective on his behalf. You also get an example of how not to be a Caretaker by watching Nancy (Jennifer Dundas) who assumes Lorenzo has no mind left whatsoever and treats him like an inanimate object.
- In Molly (1999), Buck finds himself the caretaker of his autistic and intellectually impaired sister, Molly, after her institution shuts down. He is not happy about this.
- In Repo! The Genetic Opera, Nathan Wallace's wife Marni dies, leaving him to raise their newborn daughter, Shilo. He ends up keeping her locked in her bedroom for seventeen years to protect her from the outside world. And then he exhibits the "co-dependent" and "overprotective" parts of this trope by administering a poison for those same 17 years to keep her bedridden and dependent, so she will never leave him. And this after he killed Marni trying to cure her! (Well, that's what he thought anyway.)
- Mrs. Medlock in The Secret Garden. She watched over the young lord's "ill" son Colin assiduously, and scolded Mary for being reckless when she worsened his condition. Mrs. Medlock goes so far as to lock Mary in her bedroom and force Colin to take baths in freezing water, while he screams that he's fine. When it turns out it was years of overprotective care that left Colin unable to walk, which Mary cured, Medlock was reduced to a near friendless crying heap.
- In The Whales of August, elderly Sarah has devoted herself to caring for her similarly elderly, but also blind and much more frail, sister Libby. Sarah wonders if maybe Libby isn't too much of a burden in Sarah's own old age.
- X-Men Film Series:
- X-Men: Days of Future Past has Hank, who stays with Charles and looks after him for ten years of drunken misery.
- Logan begins with Logan and Caliban looking after Charles, who is becoming senile and unable to control his powers in his old age.
- In Are You Seeing Me? Justine has been the caretaker to her autistic twin brother Perry since their father died of cancer shortly before their eighteenth birthday.
- The Old Man in Being There, with his maids, was this to the mentally challenged Chance the Gardener. The story proper begins when the Old Man dies and the now-middle-aged Chance is forced to venture out into the world for the first time, as the Old Man forbade him to leave their townhouse, with the threat of institutionalization if he did. What's particularly sad about this is the possibility that Chance is his (unknowing) son. In the movie version, the black maid Louise is a kindly caretaker and was likely closer to Chance than the Old Man... but she resents his later success as "Chauncey Gardiner" because she knows he's an idiot; as she sees it, he gained power solely because he's white.
- In the Dragonlance books, Caramon Majere takes on this role for his Squishy Wizard brother, Raistlin, who greatly resents needing the help. Made particularly toe-curling by the fact that Raistlin is perfectly capable of murdering his caretaking brother, a fact which Caramon is well aware of — and yet, he stays. True to the trope, when Raistlin overcomes his sickness and achieves godlike power, Caramon is left as a drunken wreck without a direction in life...
- Until Tika comes along...
- Will Parry in His Dark Materials starts out as a caretaker for his mother who suffers from mental illness and having to leave her for a time weighs heavily on him.
- In Ivanhoe Rebecca the beautiful Jewish maiden cares for the Knight Ivanhoe when he is wounded.
- Jeeves and Wooster: In-universe, a lot of people think that Jeeves is this to Bertie. It's not far from the truth.
- Jo, towards Beth in the second half of Little Women. When poor Beth dies... Sniff.
- George to Lennie in Of Mice and Men, with a bit of Cloudcuckoolander's Minder thrown in for good measure. This results in a serious Tear Jerker when George has to Shoot the Dog.
- In The Overstory, Dorothy ends up caring for her husband, Ray, after he suffers a stroke that leaves him with severe brain damage, despite how she was about to divorce him when he was healthy.
- Many of Jodi Picoult's novels have this, though usually the caretaker is somewhat narcissistic. The caretaker is always a mother taking care of her child, who has a chronic, usually life-threatening illness. They often will ignore anyone else and focus solely on the child. Sara in My Sister's Keeper cares about her daughter Kate to the point of having a child specifically to donate blood and tissue to Kate and ignoring the other child. Charlotte in Handle with Care actually sues her best friend so she can get money to take care of the child.
- Nadine Cross in The Stand to an orphan she calls "Joe" who had been rendered mute and feral due to the trauma of seeing his family die of the plague. True to the trope, she ultimately needed him much more than he needed her. Things go downhill fast the moment he recovers from his trauma and he doesn't need her to such an extent anymore.
- Princess Marya in War and Peace acts as The Caretaker for her old father until his death, and then becomes the primary caretaker of her nephew, whose mother died in childbirth and whose father is off to war.
- Absolutely Fabulous: Saffron Monsoon could fit this trope. She is the most sane and mature character in the show, constantly being the Voice of Sanity to her mother (who is a middle-aged woman with a teenager's behavior and a toddler's emotions). Later episodes upset the balance by having her do things like spying on a "normal" family by hiding in their cupboard.
- Arrested Development: On the opposite side of the coin, there is the highly dysfunctional relationship of Lucille Bluth and her son Buster. She switches back and forth from coddling to abusive based apparently on what will cause her son the most psychological damage. It's funnier than you'd think.
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Willow briefly became this after Tara was driven insane by Glory.
- Spike started out as essentially an evil version of this, taking care of a weakened Drusilla.
- Firefly: Simon Tam frequently takes on this role when it comes to his sister River. He is genuinely caring toward her and constantly strives to find out what was done to her at the hands of the Alliance so he can find a way to "cure" her, putting him squarely in the Activist role. Not to mention that he gave up a rich, comfortable life and a very promising medical career for a dangerous life on the run to do the above mentioned.
He suppresses any irrational blame for River and is never too smothering, though very affectionate. He is very protective and those who might harm her find that he is also a Papa Wolf when necessary. And to top it all off, he manages to have characteristics beyond caretaker ones — the show and The Movie make him a Deadpan Snarker with a somewhat bumbling approach to love. He does acknowledge that he's been ignoring what he wanted for himself by the end, though.
- And River inverts it in The Movie, by saving him and the entire crew by willingly locking herself in a room with an army of Reavers. Needless to say, those stupid Reavers get their asses kicked.
- Fringe: Peter Bishop reluctantly takes this role to get his Mad Scientist father, Walter, out of the mental institution where he's been held for the last 20 years, since Walter can only be released into the care of a blood-relative. Over time however, Peter comes to see that it was the institution itself that mentally damaged his father, to the point where when a case requires Walter to readmit himself to speak to another patient who holds vital information, Peter is furious at the suggestion.
- Kamen Rider Ex-Aid has the duo of Taiga Hanaya and his patient, Nico Saiba. Their relationship is complicated by Taiga's load of issues, Nico's habit of endangering herself note and their mutual care.
- Mother and Son: This trope was the premise of this sitcom, with the son both the caretaker and The Un Favourite of a senile mother.
- Revolution: Charlie is this to Danny, hence why she's so set on getting him back.
- Seinfeld: Played for Laughs several times, where Elaine's boyfriends have a tendency to wind up horribly injured, suffering a heart attack, or going through heroin withdrawal just as she's about to dump them.
- Star Trek: Voyager: There's a literal "the caretaker". He's taking care of the Ocampa after accidentally frying their planet to a barely inhabitable mess.
- Supernatural:
- Dean Winchester, especially in regards to his Sammy. Dean is naturally nurturing and protective by nature. However, Dean has made it his purpose to take care of Sam his entire life.
- In Season 7, after Castiel absorbs Sam's madness, Meg gets a job as a nurse at the mental hospital to protect him.
Castiel: Will you look at her? My caretaker. All of that thorny pain. So beautiful.
Meg: We've been over this. I don't like poetry. Put up or shut up.
- In Keely And Du, a pregnant woman is kidnapped by a radical anti-abortion group that kidnaps her and tries to force her to have her baby. While there are male characters, the play mostly focuses on the Closer to Earth relationship between the contentious kidnapped mother and the the sweet, elderly nurse taking care of her.
- In Les Mis�rables, Jean Valjean becomes a cross between this and a Parental Substitute for little Cosette. When she's grown up, she loves him very much but is confused by his secretive behavior (among other things, he doesn't tell her who her mother was).
- Dogged Nice Guy Dan spends a couple decades being this for his wife Diana in Next to Normal, bordering on Heroic BSoD himself.
- Annie in The Norman Conquests takes care of her bedridden mother, with only occasional help from her brother Reg (and no help at all from her sister Ruth).
- Big Daddies in BioShock protect the Little Sisters from any Splicer that wants to get their hands in the ADAM they produce. And given how they are giant men in diving suits with either: a drill equipped with a grappling hook, a giant riveting gun that doubles as a machine gun and mines, a giant laser gun, or remotely controlled mini-turrets and a rocket launcher, and on top of all that, sometimes Plasmids; Splicers rightly consider attacking the Protectors suicide.
- The end of the A route in Blaze Union shows Nessiah supporting Gulcasa in a combination of this role and Living Emotional Crutch, as it falls to him (the only one who knows enough about Brongaa's blood and its effects) to make sure Gulcasa regularly kills something to sate his natural bloodlust (no matter how much Gulcasa himself does not want to) and nurse him back to health should he fall ill from overusing or underusing his powers with his body still unstable. He also takes Siskier's place as Gulcasa's confidante and adviser, as well as becoming his love interest. In a variation on the trope, Nessiah shows no sign of minding having to do this for three years; after all, when he's strung out after using Brongaa's power, Gulcasa is awfully easy to manipulate, so Nessiah has plenty to gain from being devoted.
- Though there are some emotional attachments Nessiah makes in the process that cause him problems in the end.
- Mio from Fatal Frame II towards her twinsister, Mayu. While Mio's the younger of the two, she watches over Mayu and frequently checks up on her. Part of this comes from Mayu being weaker than Mio and more susceptible to spiritual influence, the other part coming from a certain amount of guilt because Mio blames herself for Mayu having fallen down a cliff and permanently injuring her leg.
- Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number reveals that Richter, the man who was sent to shoot Jacket in the first game, is actually a pretty decent guy, with his main redeeming trait being that his mother is stricken with an illness of some sort and he has to help her with her daily activities.
- In I Was a Teenage Exocolonist, Auntie Seedent is the head of the Stratospheric's creche who raises the colony children there.
- Axel fulfills this role toward Roxas in Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days after he is assigned to mentor the younger Nobody who recently joined Organization XIII. After Roxas befriends Xion and starts hanging out with her, Axel also becomes her caretaker as well. Axel eventually turns into a Psycho Supporter when obsessed with keeping Roxas and Xion as his friends, he lies to them, does questionable stuff behind their backs, and if they try to leave the Organization of their own free will, he attempts to bring them back by force. Following Xion's death, Axel is the only member of the Organization to miss Roxas when the latter defects. And in Kingdom Hearts II, Axel's dying wish was to see Roxas again.
- One of Akiha's endings in Tsukihime has Shiki Tohno playing this role toward Akiha herself. Definitely a tragic version, as poor Akiha has been reduced to a more or less mindless, catatonic, blood sucking monster, and the already anemic Shiki insists on providing that blood himself, due to a sense of responsibility for her condition as well as love for her.
- Lisa Garland, the nurse who who took care of Alessa in Silent Hill. In exchange for her care, she was granted a degree of protection from the horrors of the Dark World of Silent Hill, which she couldn't leave because Kaufman had killed her, trapping her there. Fan theories speculate Alessa cared for Lisa, and was using her to manipulate Harry into ceasing his search for Cheryl. In the end, she reverts to a blood covered monster when Harry rejects her and she realizes what she is. She does get a comeuppance by killing Kaufman in the Good + ending, though.
- In the movie, she was just an ordinary nurse who curiously looked at Alessa while agonizing after being near burned to death. Alessa responded by "blasting" her eyes and upper face with third degree burns that remain on her permanently even in the Dark World. Alessa does seem to regret it though... the evil inside her admits Lisa wasn't guilty of anything, and while she doesn't (can't?) heal her, she keeps her nearby instead of having Pyramid Head kill her.
- Wildstar has a character named Caretaker, who is a sentient program left behind to maintain and monitor the Eldan's various experiments and Drusera.
- In Air, Haruko takes care of the weak and cursed Misuzu, and her feelings conflict between protecting her from herself and loving her.
- The Bishojo game Kana: Little Sister practically revolves around this trope, with the main character of the story (Takamichi aka Taka) being the Littlest Cancer Patient's big brother. He manages to escape the curse of being a Satellite Character, for better for worse, becoming darker and more complex (And less sympathetic... and sane) as the story goes on. How he ends up depends on your choices through the game, from publishing a book about Kana and using the funds to train as a doctor, saving Kana and then having her leave him when she realizes he's become co-dependent, to transforming into a despairing schizophrenic mess.
- In Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors, it turns out that Santa was this to Akane, taking care of her after she was orphaned, protecting her during the first time around in the Nonary Game, and helping to arrange for the second game, so she could really be rescued.
- Syphile played this to Ariel in Drowtales. Granted, it was more of a Promotion to Parent than anything else, but Syphile knew Ariel was the product of a Drow-Spider mating, and saw Ariel as a literal monster to be looked after rather than a daughter or even sister. Combined with lingering resentment over being rejected by her mother, she took it out on Ariel with brutal "combat training" and impossible tasks as part of her studies.
- Daniel in The Guide to a Healthy Relationship claims to be this for his mentally ill romantic partner Julian, except he abuses and gaslights them all the time. Julian actually has a much more caring relationship with their childhood best friend Apollo; the two of them tend to take turns in looking out for one another: Apollo for Julian in that they eat enough and stay grounded, Julian for Apollo by being his guide when his bad eyesight is getting the worse of him and he can't navigate foreign terrain.
- Mob Psycho 100: Reigen is a mixed bag of this for Mob. It's obvious that he cares a lot about Mob and has no problem rushing into dangerous situations to save him, chewing people out for "stressing out" his "mentally weak" student. Unfortunately, he can also be a possessive and selfish jerk who tries to manipulate Mob and keep him from hanging out with friends. He eventually gets his comeuppance when he takes things too far and Mob leaves him, and he's humiliated on national television. It's only after this that he realizes he's become more reliant on Mob than helpful to him and that he's lost sight of his own goals and on what's really important (namely, Mob's happiness, and trust in him). He gets better and becomes more of a Benevolent Boss and friend — although he still runs into dangerous situations, and occasionally lies in order to spare Mob's feelings.
- Suzy in The Sanity Circus not only squees and celebrates over seeing Fletch again after a long time, she also fusses over him and checks things like whether he's eating enough.
- The video "Take Care" is a bitter-sweet 8-minute documentary about a normal woman struggling to care for her daughter and ailing grandfather while trying to improve her own situation. It's heartbreaking and beautiful.
- As in canon, the Emperor of Mankind in If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device is interred on the Golden Throne, unable to move, and so the job of Caretaker was made to look after him. Kitten mostly keeps him company and informs him about the state of the Imperium, but other duties include sponging down his immobile body and cleaning out the sewers.
Rogal Dorn: "While my siblings are being lost, I came here to keep our rambling, paraplegic father company. Because I love him more than any other."
- Kitten later loses his position to his brothers, who are competent enough at the cleaning part. The emotional aspects, not so much. The emotional void is filled by Rogal Dorn, one of the Emperor's sons.
- Benny from The Nostalgia Critic looked after his mentally ill sister, and is Hyper's Only Friend.
- Avatar: The Last Airbender:
- General 'Uncle' Iroh voluntarily follows his nephew Zuko in exile, and cares for him as a son. Unfortunately, he only gets yelled at, insulted, abandoned, betrayed and imprisoned in return. It's not that Zuko doesn't care about his uncle, because he does; he's just way too obsessed with proving himself to his Evil Overlord father, Fire Lord Ozai, to have eye for the more important things in life.
- After 51 of 61 episodes, the message finally gets through, and he tells daddy (along with his Heel�Face Turn) that he will from now on consider Iroh his father. After 59 of 61 episodes, we finally get to see his tearful apology, and that Iroh doesn't hold a single bit of grudge on him. Which is not surprising at all when you consider that Iroh was still trying to help Zuko while in jail because of him.
- Iroh's affection for Zuko might the result of Iroh's own son getting killed. But this might be a small part of it, and it may be even irrelevant towards the end.
- We see a toxic variant with the lengths Lao Bei Fong will go to keep his "blind, delicate, and helpless" little girl Toph safe from harm.
- General 'Uncle' Iroh voluntarily follows his nephew Zuko in exile, and cares for him as a son. Unfortunately, he only gets yelled at, insulted, abandoned, betrayed and imprisoned in return. It's not that Zuko doesn't care about his uncle, because he does; he's just way too obsessed with proving himself to his Evil Overlord father, Fire Lord Ozai, to have eye for the more important things in life.
- The Darkwing Duck episode "Time and Punishment" has a non-familial variant; when Darkwing goes catatonic after his daughter Gosalyn disappears, his Heterosexual Life-Partner Launchpad attempts first to help him find her and then to help him adjust. Neither is very helpful, although not for lack of effort.
- C. S. Lewis married (legally) a woman to protect her from her abusive husband (from a religious marriage); he later found out she was going to die of cancer but chose to take care of her.
- Several of the Righteous Gentiles from World War II obtained that status, not by great and exciting deeds but by taking in Jews and providing the necessities that were difficult or impossible for them to obtain. A long, terrible, and boring job done at tremendous peril.
- According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, "more than 50 million people provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year" in the United States. The Other Wiki has more information on caregiving. If the U.S. figures are indicative of the post-industrial world as a whole, about 17 out of every 100 people are this trope for a relative or friend. Meaning, if there are 1,000 active tropers present on this site (a conservative estimate), 170 of us could potentially be caretakers in real life.
- Doug Walker has thanked his wife for going to a work where she gives memory therapy to older patients, and then coming back home to look after him.


text:
Brad Feuer
General Counsel
Brad Feuer was appointed General Counsel for Barnes & Noble, Inc., in December 2013 after serving in an interim role since July 2013.
Mr. Feuer first came to Barnes & Noble in 1999 and for many years was the only lawyer on staff. Over time, he has worked across all departments within the organization, including the Retail and Digital businesses, Barnes & Noble College and Sterling, and has been instrumental in providing legal support for key vendors and publisher partnerships.
Mr. Feuer has been responsible for many legal successes, including providing support for the launch and continued development of the NOOK and Digital business and the development of content distribution agreements that form the backbone of the Barnes & Noble eBook store. He handles a variety of legal matters ranging from corporate governance, antitrust, First Amendment, litigation, intellectual property, technology licensing, proprietary publishing, merchandising, digital education, customer service, employment, loss prevention and vendor compliance.
Prior to joining Barnes & Noble, Mr. Feuer was an associate at the law firms of Weil, Gotshal and Manges LLP, and Brobeck Phleger & Harrison LLP. Mr. Feuer received an A.B. in Public Policy Studies from Duke University and his J.D. from the University of Virginia.

subset: commoncrawl


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A group of developers has decided to fork Sun's (now Oracle's) stagnated Open Office project. Those involved in the OpenOffice.org project have now formed The Document Foundation. The Register reports, "Oracle, meanwhile, has been humiliatingly invited to re-join the OpenOffice community by applying to the Foundation. It's also been asked to donate the OpenOffice.org brand that it owns to the community." Until Oracle makes the decision whether to relinquish its rights to the name, the code base stewarded by the Document Foundation will be called LibreOffice. (The openoffice.org site still points to an Oracle Web page.) Novell, Red Hat, Canonical, the Open Source Initiative, the Free Software Foundation, Google and various others including the "French Community" have joined the Foundation.
Although, theoretically, any open source project can fork, in practice it is a rare occurrence. This development shows the increasing disdain of the open source community for Oracle — a company that was once noted for buying open source companies (and thus succeeding to rights in MySQL, Open Solaris, Java, SleepyCat, and InnoDB), and is now noted for anti-open source tactics such as its recent lawsuit against Google. Oracle's litigation tactics and perceived failure to properly steward these projects for the benefit of the community has caused at least one commentator to call the company open source public enemy number one — even surpassing Microsoft. (The article in the prior link BTW is an interesting catalog of past and existing open source forks.)


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Are you looking for some recommendations for easy house-breaking dogs? Here are the three to take a chance with. Having a dog for the first time can be overwhelming and thrilling but there is still some breed of dogs that will make the task less daunting and confusing and here are just three of them that will give your debut into the "dogs hall of owners" an exhilarating experience.
Though they are quite some easy house-breaking dogs for the meantime, let's look at these three. The papillon, the bichon fries, and the Labrador retriever.
- The Papillon
If you desire to have a pet, then you will enjoy the company of this cute snugly bundle on your lap the whole day. Though they have a mildly active lifestyle, their exercise needs are minimal and you don't need to own a yard before getting a papillon. For housebreaking, these intelligent breeds are generally easy to train and they are loyal to their owners. For grooming, papillon requires little regular brushing of the hair to prevent matting, brushing of the teeth, clearing of the ear and other routine hygiene care of every dog's needs. If you have children, you will make a wonderful choice by getting this breed because, they are naturally fond of children, especially older children but if you have toddlers around, you will need to be a bit vigilant here. As the toddlers may mistake the puppy for a small toy or may accidentally step on it considering its petite frame.
- The Bichon Frise
This warm eyed adorable happy puppy with its cute and bouncy frame will make your home a beautiful place with its charming looks and lifestyle. For training, bichon fries are smart dogs and they respond well to training and require minimal grooming. More so, its coat needs to be trimmed and combed to keep it neat, you can also keep its coat short too. For housing, bichon frise adapts well to any environment so you will not any worry traveling with it. For temperament, the bichon fries are child-friendly dogs and love the company of children and require minimal daily exercises to keep it healthy, happy and sound.
- The Labrador Retriever
If you are looking for a smart and intelligent medium-sized dog, a Labrador retriever should meet your taste with its sturdy body frame and agility. These breeds are very loyal and affectionate dogs and respond to training swiftly, you can also teach it to handle any task, the kind of dog that looks forward to those errands. If you are a lover of exercise, the Labrador retriever will certainly enjoy the fitness daily jogging with you as this breed requires a lot of exercise. For grooming, regular brushing of the fur will reduce shedding and keep your dog looking nice. What's more? Labs are particularly fond of children and adapt conveniently to any environment.
Having a puppy friend for the first time is often reckoned with a lot of uncertainties and responsibilities which makes looking for dogs with little needs a good option. And with either of these three breeds, you and your buddy can have an exciting time all year round.


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Three months after certifying that their fruit-flavored candies are "guaranteed to actually float while in space," Skittles is offering one lucky fan the chance to test it out for themselves.
Mars Incorporated, the confectioner behind the "Taste the Rainbow" brand of candies, is giving away a zero-g experience for two from Zero Gravity Corporation, "along with a bag of limited-edition Zero-G Skittles." Another 99 winners will also be selected to receive limited edition "Zero-G" candy packs.
To enter, Skittles and space fans only need to buy a Skittles product from Amazon and submit their order number with their contest entry at SkittlesInSpace.com. The sweepstakes began on Thursday (Sept. 30) and runs through Oct. 14.
Related: Blue Origin's 1st New Shepard passenger launch with Jeff Bezos (photos)
The contest and special Zero-G packs of Skittles — the latter featuring aluminum packaging and Planet Pineapple, Rocket Raspberry and Berry Blast-flavor candies, Skittles' first ever blue and purple only mix pack — are in celebration of Skittles being flown on the first crewed flight of Blue Origin's New Shepard rocket in July. Former Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, who founded the commercial spaceflight company and flew on board the suborbital spaceflight, revealed the candies once he was floating weightless just above the boundary separating Earth from space.
"Who wants a Skittle?" said Bezos, before tossing the candies around the New Shepard cabin to his three crewmates, including his brother Mark, 82-year-old pilot Wally Funk and 18-year-old physics student Oliver Daemen. Video from on board the capsule showed the four catching the candies astronaut-style, using only their mouths.
The grand prize winner of the Skittles Zero-G Sweepstakes may be able to re-stage the scene without entering space. Passengers aboard Zero G Corporation's modified Boeing 727 experience brief periods of weightlessness as the plane follows a parabolic trajectory through the sky. As the plane crests the parabola and dives, the passengers are in free-fall, but without any wind resistance, float about the padded cabin.
The contest is open only to legal age residents of the United States, except those living in New York, Florida, Puerto Rico and all U.S. territories and possessions. Eligible individuals can also enter without purchase by emailing the words "Skittles in Space" to email@example.com. For the sweepstakes' full entry rules, see the SkittlesInSpace.com website.
In addition to the Zero-G packs and the contest, Skittles also celebrated its New Shepard flight by making a donation to the Smithsonian's National Air and Space Museum. Although it may have been Skittles' first shout-out from space, the candy's ride with Blue Origin was not its first taste of zero gravity. The colorful confections were also flown to the International Space Station as crew-preference snacks.
Blue Origin has announced its next crewed New Shepard spaceflight for Oct. 12. Whether Skittles will again be aboard is still to be seen.
Follow collectSPACE.com on Facebook and on Twitter at @collectSPACE. Copyright 2021 collectSPACE.com. All rights reserved.


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Nike Womens Sportswear NSW 'DK Grey Heather' Pants
- Heather grey pants
- Standard fit for a relaxed, easy feel
- Body: 100% cotton. Rib: 96% cotton/4% spandex
- Inspired by classic NSW styles, these pants deconstruct and distort a closet staple
- French terry fleece has a smooth face and brushed-back design. This heavyweight fabric offers a thick, sturdy drape and added warmth
- A spiral drawcord provides an adjustable fit and echoes the twisted design and details
- Elastic cuffs provide cozy comfort and help show off your shoes


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I have been waiting for this day for quite some time now…it's applesauce day!
Well, technically yesterday was applesauce day. I had been accumulating apples throughout the week. First from my Nana and Pap's apple trees, and then from the farmers' market. My Nana and Pap's trees produced apples like crazy this year! Which is funny, because last year they had a bumper crop of pears, and not as many apples. This year, they didn't get any pears, but they have more apples than they know what to do with! Funny how nature works!
I began with about a bushel of apples. I do not know for sure, I'm just estimating. I know I bought a half bushel from K. Schlegel Fruit Farm at the farmers' market. (I also got 6 yellow jackets in my bag for free!) And then I had four grocery bags of apples from my grandparents. So, I'm going to say that's about a bushel.
As for the variety of apples I used, I do not really know. I am not certain what types of trees my grandparents have, and the crate I purchased just said "mixed." (So if any apple experts out there want to comment and tell me some of the apples I used by looking at the pictures above, go for it!) I wanted a large variety of apples to balance the sweet and tart, and prevent me from having to add sugar to the applesauce. If you want to be more specific with your apple selection, either do some research on the internet or ask orchard employees. The stand where I purchased my apples had signs out describing each type of apple, which is super helpful!
Applesauce is one of the easier things to can, in my opinion. It takes a while to do, depending on how many apples you have, but the process is not difficult, and there is no complicated recipe to stick to.
There are a few different ways to prepare and cook the apples. Some people prefer to core and peel their apples before cooking. Once the apples are soft, they can be run through a food mill or just mashed lightly for a chunky applesauce.
I prefer to leave the skins on while cooking the apples. Just be sure that the apples are washed well if you do this! No one wants pesticides or bug poop in their applesauce!
The apples get cored and then chopped into bite-sized pieces. I heated them over medium-low heat until they were softened. I stirred them often, and only used one of my stove burners. One burner is great for boiling things because it heats up very quickly, but that also means foods like apples and tomatoes burn to the bottom just as quickly! The apples will look like chunky applesauce when they are ready to be run through the food mill (which can be quite the workout).
One of the most fascinating things about the whole process is the different colors of sauce the apples produce! I had a few pot-fulls of very yellow sauce, and a few of pink sauce! When I mixed everything together, it kept a little bit of its pink hue, which I think screams homemade applesauce!
After the apples are all cooked down and run through the food mill, it is time to can the sauce! Leaving one inch of headspace, the jars can be processed in a water bath canner for 20 minutes. (For canning procedures, check out this post.) I was reading a Ball canning recipe for applesauce, and they recommend adding a few cups of sugar and lemon juice. While some applesauce does need a little sugar to sweeten it, that can be eliminated by careful choice of apple varieties. And as for the lemon juice, that is up to you. I have never added any kind of acidity to applesauce before canning it. If this concerns you, applesauce is just as easy to freeze.
I canned all of my applesauce in quart jars (13 to be exact) because that is what we had the most of and it gets done quicker. If you can the sauce in half pints, that makes an easy, healthy treat to simply grab off of the shelf and put in your lunchbox!
Applesauce is such a warm, cozy fall treat to make! I am glad I have my shelves restocked for the rest of the year!
Did you make applesauce this fall? What are your favorite types of apples to use? Do you leave the skins on or peel them? Do you prefer chunky or smooth applesauce? Feel free to comment, I'd love your input!
Homemade Applesauce
- Apples (any variety, any amount)
- Core apples.
- Cook over medium-low heat until soft.
- Run through food mill.
- Fill sterilized quart jars, leaving 1 inch head space.
- Process in water bath canner for 20 minutes.
- **This processing time has not been tested, so this is an "at your own risk" venture. If you are uncomfortable with the acidity levels, add lemon juice to the applesauce or freeze instead of canning.


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I love positive reinforcements! And I am jussssst now realizing I am able to start molding this concept on my little 13 month old daughter.
What exactly is positive reinforcement? Well, it's what I like to call, "Catch 'Em Being Good" and to encourage that behavior. So, for instance if you see your child sitting there patting the dog affectionately, instead of grabbing and hitting the poor thing, then give your little one kudos and acknowledge their behavior! Don't just think to yourself how nice they are behaving, actually say it out loud!
Giving positive reinforcements really helps foster better cooperation, compliance, less irritability, fewer temper tantrums and it also boosts a child's self esteem.
The concept is to give little attention to bad behaviors and big attention to good behaviors. For older toddlers, preschoolers, and school aged kids, the more attention they get for good behaviors, the more you will see them do it and acting out less!
On a side note here for non-verbal young ones, they are still learning danger vs non- danger, so I still sometimes have to give a firm 'No' when my child is about to hurt herself.
And when I want to encourage a good behavior, I use that 'good doggie' voice and raise it up a notch and get all excited happy when she does something well. That way it will encourage my child to do it again.
So here is what it looks like with preschoolers and school aged kids :
A child playing nicely with his brother: "Chase, you are playing together with your brother so well, you are sharing and I don't hear any arguing!!"
Dinner time: "Sara, you put your own plate in the sink, I am so proud of you!!"
Bedtime: "Wow, you did such a great job of brushing your teeth, and you didn't even need to be reminded!"
So basically, you acknowledge behaviors any time you see your child complying (catching them doing something good) such as, "You wiped your feet before you came inside, thank you so much for keeping your shoes and the house clean!"
See what I mean? Just the little tiny things that you would normally take for granted, notice them and comment on them.
So there you have it. I have let you in on one of the little secrets to success. Yep, this is the main thing we counselors teach parents when their child is having temper tampers, acting out at home, has symptoms of ADHD, or oppositional defiant disorders. But no reason to wait until it's too late and you are about to pull your hair out. Start early and you will be able to curb most bad behaviors before they even start. Oh and this works well with other people living in your home too like spouses, in-laws, etc. :) Catch 'em being good!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Catch 'Em Being Good
4 comments:
Thanks for the tips, will have to give them a shot and see if it works for my child.ReplyDelete
Sure, and let me know how they work out!ReplyDelete
I love your "Catch'em being good" advice. I do this with my daughters all the time and it really works. Everyone feels encouraged to do the things that get them praise, smiles and rewards. Thank you for an article that explains it so simply and clearly. I am going to share it with all the positive mommies I know! :)ReplyDelete
Thanks for your feedback! Making positive comments seems so simple, but sometimes hard to remember for parents. So glad you use them and practice them, because the more we do it, the more it will become a habit and we will do it without thinking :)ReplyDelete
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Rodolphus Agricola
Our editors will review what you've submitted and determine whether to revise the article.
- Born:
- 1443 or 1444
- Died:
- October 27, 1485 Heidelberg Palatinate
Rodolphus Agricola, original name Roelof Huysman, (born 1443/44, Baflo, Groningen [now in the Netherlands]—died Oct. 27, 1485, Heidelberg, Palatinate [Germany]), Dutch humanist who, basing his philosophy on Renaissance ideas, placed special emphasis on the freedom of the individual and the complete development of the self, from both an intellectual and a physical standpoint. His ideas influenced Desiderius Erasmus, another Dutch humanist.
Agricola studied in Groningen, Erfurt, Cologne, and Leuven (Louvain), graduating from Leuven in 1465. While in his early 30s, he started to write, producing an oration in praise of philosophy (1476) and a biography of Petrarch (1477), the Italian poet and scholar. During the following five years, he traveled between universities in northwestern Germany and the Netherlands. In 1484 he accepted an invitation from the bishop of Worms, Johann von Dalberg, to lecture on classical literature in Heidelberg. In the same year, he wrote De formando studio, a book on education.


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All last week I shared some new Thanksgiving crafts to inspire your holiday table. And that will continue this week! Today we have a new Thanksgiving invitation and menu template for you, created by our graphic designer Lindsay. Featuring pretty leaves in our October color palette and soft pink geometric shapes, this design was papercut and then photographed on gray linen.
All you have to do is download the templates below and print however many you need! To edit them, you can download these free fonts: Modern Sans and Stoner.
Unbeleafably Pretty Invites
While you could just send out an email about your Thanksgiving dinner, we think it's more fun to send out a Thanksgiving invitation. Your guests will love getting mail — and the personal invite just makes it feel more like a special occasion. Another way to make your dinner party feel a little more formal and fancier is with a menu card placed on each person's plate.
To complete our table settings for Thanksgiving, we added linen napkins and a cute cornucopia treat cone to each plate. You can do the same or browse through our Thanksgiving projects for more DIY ideas. Later this week, I will show you how to arrange a beautiful Thanksgiving centerpiece and how to make crepe paper acorns. So stay tuned!
- Download the Thanksgiving invitation and menu templates below.
- Next, download these two fonts: Modern Sans and Stoner. Edit your invitation and menu accordingly.
- Print your invitations and menus onto cardstock paper and trim to size.
For daily craft ideas, join us on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest. Or browse our YouTube channel for video tutorials. Start crafting with us by signing up for your own Lia Griffith membership today!
Once you start crafting with us, remember to use #MadeWithLia when sharing photos of your finished projects. And always feel free to reach out with your questions/feedback — we want to hear from you! Happy fall ~ Lia & team
Become a Member to unlock this project
Are you having trouble? Feel free to contact us and we will be happy to help you out.
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text: Twenty-seven years and 13 editions later, Investor Economics' Household Balance Sheet Report remains the compendium of our best thinking, analyses and data on the financial services industry in Canada. The current—14th—volume retains the inaugural report's objective. It offers a cohesive analytical framework through which financial services providers, regulators and public policymakers can quantify and benchmark the Canadian retail financial services industry and their positions within the industry. By tracking the size and composition of the aggregate household balance sheet of Canadian households over time, and by considering its past and future, the participants in the retail financial services ecosystem can identify opportunities and anticipate challenges ahead.


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Thursday, June 24, 2010
Flights of Fancy
One of the things that I enjoy about having a blog is reading the comments and messages that readers send me. I have "met" some really interesting people through my blog. They are from all over the world and their ages and crafting experience vary widely. I get lots of questions and requests for help with specific problems and I do my best to answer everyone. If you send me a message and do not have an answer within a few days, please don't hesitate to send it again. I sometimes have pages of email to get through and things do "slip through the cracks" on occasion.
The design at the top of this post is one that was requested by a reader from the West Coast. He is 80 years old and just got a new Expression (moving up from a smaller machine). His name is George (a funny coincidence considering the name of the original Cricut cartridge!).
George was having the problem that I hear about frequently. He wanted to weld words inside a frame and the welds were not working correctly. I did a video quite a while ago explaining how to do this - here is a LINK.
I loved his idea of placing a butterfly and the words "Flights of Fancy" inside the lovely frame on the Home Accents cartridge. He gave me a list of the font cartridges he has and the Ashlyn's Alphabet font seemed like a good fit for this project. I started working in Design Studio but then switched to the Gypsy to finish the file because it will group items and then will allow me to change the size of the group while keeping the relative position of the elements the same. I wanted to expand the original cut into a larger file that George could cut on his new Expression.
I found a few quirks while working back and forth between the Gypsy and Design Studio. When I did my original Design Studio file the frame and butterfly were separate elements and I put each word in a group (by typing all of the letters in the same selection box) so I could adjust the size easily. When the file is moved to the Gypsy, the letters all show up independently and must be regrouped. Then, when the file is brought back to Design Studio, the letters are all independent and can not be grouped.
I have also had a little trouble getting used to the differences in the way the two programs "see" the mat. In Design Studio, the location of an object on the mat is determined by the "x" and "y" values and the "0" for each axis is at the top left corner. On the Gypsy, the "0" is at the bottom left corner. The Gypsy also considers the bottom of the 12 x 12 mat to be the equivalent of a 6 x 12 mat. In Design Studio, the baby bug mat is seen as the top half of the 12 x 12 mat.
For my first test cut, I used the DCWV Luxury stack. The file cut perfectly but it is rather delicate and you must be very careful when lifting it from the mat. The bone folder was handy and I used it to help lift the design. A better choice would be the Cricut spatula, or, my all time favorite, a wide plastic putty knife (currently lost in the clutter on my table!).
I test cut the Design Studio version of the file as well. I will share these files in a day or two. I want to let George have "first dibs" on cutting his design!
I adhered the smaller version (5.5 x 5.5 inches) to some solid burgundy card stock cut at 7 x 7 inches and mounted on a piece of 8 x 8 metallic gold cardstock, also from DCWV. I added some tiny pink pearls to accent the flowers and the two letters "F." The pearls are from Creative Charms. This would be pretty framed on a wall or placed on a tabletop easel.
There are just a few days left to get the "deal of the month" for June at Creative Charms. You will get all of these items ($23 at regular prices) for just $6.99. For lots of ideas and projects using these and other Creative Charms embellishments, visit the Creative Charms blog HERE. I am excited to be part of such a talented Design Team!
I had another great surprise from a blog friend today. Marilyn Mae sent me a special package and I was thrilled with what I found inside! I'll share what it was and what I am doing with it in a day or two...
The weekend is almost here - I have lots to finish up before it arrives!
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10 comments:
What a wonderful post - it made me smile to read about George and his Expression. It amazes me to know how many different people/generations enjoy creating as we do. Thanks for sharing this!ReplyDelete
Love, love, love Creative Charms, and have followed their blog for sometime now.
Thanks to you for all you share on your blog...I've learned so much!
I appreciate the time you share with us answering our questions and making the videos. Good luck George!ReplyDelete
Loved reading your post. My husband is George also, but he would never be caught doing anything crafty. :) I think it is nice to see men doing crafty things and to thing that George is 80 and just got an Expression is wonderful. I hope he enjoys it as much as I do.ReplyDelete
I love your design. TFS
Wow! Beautiful design! Thanks for pointing out differences between DS and Gypsy and what can happen working between the two. Sure wish PC would get the two working the same and the way we want them to work. :o) Thanks too to George for making this request! Have a great weekend.ReplyDelete
I love the design and the story about it. I hope that George enjoys his beautiful new custom design. It is one of a kind.ReplyDelete
What a great design. I am so impressed with George as I'm 75 and I don't have any idea of how to do many of the things that can be done with the cricut. Good for him!! Thanks for sharing this.ReplyDelete
Great design! I love the fact that George is crafting with Cricut for at least 2 reasons. One) he is a male and there do not seem to be a lot of males out there in this part of the crafting word and two) George is 80 years young and if he's using DS then he's more of a techie than I am because I haven't started using it or a gypsy yet!ReplyDelete
Diane, I loved this story.ReplyDelete
Bless you for giving George a chance to cut this out first and helping him out with the cut. Which by the way is beautiful.
So beautiful, guess I am going to get my Gypsy out and see what I can come up with.ReplyDelete
Thanks so much for finding these problems and letting us know.
Love this design. Tfs the story and the design.ReplyDelete
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I love to hear from the people who read my blog. I moderate all comments to keep spam off the blog without making you decode the squiggly letters so your comment may not appear immediately.


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We Buy Houses
We are a small group of local Real Estate investors looking to buy in your area.
We have access to a network of specialists, and multiple strategies that can help you SOLVE your Real Estate Problem. So please, fill out the form on the "Sell My House" tab, or give us a call at our 24hr hotline for more information 888-559-5156. If you'd like to talk in person simply leave us your contact info and we'll get a hold of you as soon as possible.
We are NOT pushy salespeople, so please don't be intimidated from giving us a call and leaving us a message. We want to help solve your problem, and are looking to create win-win situations for everyone involved. If this relationship won't work we will NOT waste your time. If we can't help you, we'll do our best to point you in the direction of someone who can.
We are problem solvers who can help you
- Get Money Fast
- Become Debt Free
- Make Profit off a Fixer Upper (Without Lifting a Hammer)
- Keep Realtor Fees in Your Wallet (and Avoid House Showings)
- Hold onto your down payment, or sometimes your home
- Beat the Banks (make interest rates they make, instead of paying it)
- Get Monthly Income from Renting your Houses (so you can live in Florida)
- Avoid Foreclosure / Power of Sale
Frequently Asked Questions
You have questions, we have answers!
Who is "We Buy Clarington"?
A: WeBuyHousesClarington.com and 888-559-5156 is a small property acquisition company lead by local real estate investors. We have developed strong networks with other real estate investors, contractors and lenders in the Durham Region and Clarington. We can utilize these connections to help solve problems with residential real estate. Many of our real estate investors are looking to buy and hold real estate, rent it, and years down the road make profit when the house appreciates. We are NOT pushy salespeople, so please don't be intimidated from giving us a call. We are local real estate investors who want to buy, and are looking to create win-win situations for everyone involved. If this relationship won't work we will NOT waste your time, and we'll do our best to help you in any way we can.
Why would I use you?
Many homeowners run into situations where they no longer wish to hold onto their house or cannot afford to do so. We can structure deals that can help you:
- Get Money Fast
- Become Debt Free
- Make Profit Off a Fixer Upper (Without Lifting a Hammer)
- Keep Realtor Fees in Your Wallet (and avoid house showings)
- Hold onto your down payment, or sometimes your Home
- Beat the Banks (and make the interest rates they make, instead of paying it)
- Get Monthly Income from Renting your House (so you can live in Florida)
- Avoid Foreclosure / Power of Sale
Why would a real estate investor want my house?
Investors are looking for different features than the traditional buyer (who only wants to live in the property and isn't looking at it from a long-term investment standpoint).
Can you buy my house fast?
Yes, our investors are pre-approved with banks and have credit available to them so they can move fast on distressed properties and unfavorable situations. We can often step in and get the house under contract fast to avoid Power of Sales/Foreclosures, or put an end to ugly separation or estate sale disputes.
So real estate investors aren't all big shots with stacks of cash?
Although some of our investors have large amounts of money available, many real estate investors don't themselves have large amounts of cash available. However, they have positioned themselves strongly with lenders and banks so that they can quickly borrow funds to pay house sellers fast. Many of the houses that they purchase don't make immediate profit but they believe in real estate as a long term, buy, hold, and rent investment. By taking on a few head aches with property management and tenants in the present, they feel that 10-20 years down the road the property will be worth more, the mortgage will be lower and they can enjoy the profit during retirement.
How much will you pay me for my property?
With just a little bit of information from you about the property we can get you a ballpark price fast. The price will vary depending on the condition and characteristics of your property, along with the market conditions and comparable properties in your area. We can often offer 100% of the MPAC assessed value of the property. Sometimes if we can't make it work with a price offer, we might be able to use other strategies to make it a win-win for both you and the investor.
Do I pay a real estate or sales commission?
No, we are not realtors and We Buy Houses Clarington does not collect real estate commissions. In fact we may be able to structure a sale where we even cover closing costs.
Are your investors house flippers?
Many of our investors flip houses, but not always in a traditional sense. More often then not they buy it, renovate it, and rent it for a long term. This allows them to add a property to their portfolio and avoid risks involved with traditional resale house flipping.
Why shouldn't I flip the house myself?
Despite the recent trend of real estate related house flipping shows that make it look fun and easy, flipping a house takes a lot of time, money, connections (contractors, tradespeople), project management, and a high risk tolerance. If you'd like to try it we'd be happy to suggest several great books and clubs to check out to help build your knowledge and team. But Be Warned, a HUGE percentage of new house flippers fail, burn out, or never get started and it takes a lot of dedication and hard work to succeed.
How long will it take to close?
In some instances our members have closed in less than a week.
What if I don't like the price they offer?
You are under absolutely NO obligation with us to accept our price or conditions. We'll do our best to buy your house, if we can't, we'll do our best to point you in the direction of someone who can.
What if my house needs major renovations, updating, or repairs?
It makes sense for an investor with experience and connections to take on the headaches of a house renovation because they can help that property reach it's highest and best use for profit. Renovating it before us is almost always a waste of your time and money.
How can I "Beat the Banks" or get monthly paycheques?
If you have substantial equity in the house and no (or a small) mortgage remaining, we may be able to structure a Vendor Take Back (VTB) mortgage. VTB means we'll take possession of the house and rent out all (or a portion of it) to make money and you'll be able to take the role of the bank. We'll be paying you the High Interest rate on your money instead of the bank. This is often a great way for retirees to downsize, while still receiving a chunk of cash (the down payment), and then receiving monthly mortgage payments for the next 20 years. As you've likely noticed, the banks structure mortgages so that by the time the mortgage is paid off the owner has actually paid for the house twice over. Wouldn't you like to Beat the Bank and have a passive investment in real estate that can fund your retirement in Florida?
OK, I'll give you guys a try, what's my next step?
Please fill out the form on our main page at www.WeBuyHousesClarington.com or give us a call at our 24hr hotline 888-559-5156. The more information you can provide us about the house and your situation the faster we'll be able to decide the best way we can help you.
Get an offer
Fill out the form below to get started!


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I read on a blog last week this great statement the author remembers from grade school "Keep your eyes on your own work." Since reading that post last week I have taken this statement to heart. All moms would do much better if we followed that simple instruction. We would all do better if we just focused on our own work.
Great post..don't you love when a friend says something that just sticks?
Great post! My 3 girls are almost grown,2 college and the oldest(28) working but living at home for now. So I think I'm finished, nope! What ever I did wrong is just too bad. Enjoy this time!
I just read your Mama digs and I will tell you, 40 IS a great age for finally getting to the point where you really don't give a shit what people think LOL I only know you from what you write on your blog, but I will say that I get a great vibe from you! You are a good mama, and from what I can tell a very strong woman. Much more so than I was at your age. If I am where I am at almost 40, you will be letting things roll off your back with no problem. My Mom tells me that by 60, it is even better! LOL Definitely one of the advantages of growing older! LOL
Love this. I can totally relate, as I think we all can. This will be my inspiration for the day (and most likely my week). I appreciate your thoughts!
I like the native american prinicple! Very cool…if everyone thought that way what a beautiful world it would be.
If we are to achieve a richer culture, rich in contrasting values, we must recognize the whole gamut of human potentialities, and so weave a less arbitrary social fabric, one in which each diverse human gift will find a fitting place.
Margaret Mead
Go mama. You ARE the statement above and you are obviously over the the steep part and cruising flat trail. Minor adjustments from now on out I would say. You have found your "fitting place" and you are wearing it well. Happy Monday.
Love it girly! : )
I hear you! Some days I could care less about what someone thinks about me or my ways or whatever…
some days I have so much confidence you could insult me to my face and I'd smugly laugh it off with a "pffff". But other days I'm more insecure. Like everything in my life, it waxes and wanes. I can only attribute that to my varying moods, how much stress I'm under at the time, who is the person exactly that I feel I'm being critiqued by. Some days when I'm inexplicably more vulnerable, I'll even go out of my way to wonder if someone maybe secretly critiques me. Silly isn't it?! Like, I'll think, well so and so does "x" and I do "y", does she think I'm wrong? But the answer to that kind of wraps up this whole all-over-the-place response… I don't think they do. I think that 95% (wish it was 99.9% but hey…) of people are kind and understanding and supportive and want the best for others. The other 5%, all I can say is, meh…or pfffff.
Oh, and, just want you to know that as a mom reading your blog I get a lift. I feel like there's a camaraderie (though I guess that would just by on my end, ha)… In short, I like you. 🙂
What a beautiful and inspiring post to read! I love your blog, your honesty, your willingness to share about your role as a mama.
I have 2 buddies similar ages to yours and most days I feel out of my depth, but it's reassuring to know there are other mothers out there who feel exactly the same! We are just doing the best we can. I'm doing the best I can raising 2 boys in a small flat in London which is a far cry from my upbringing as a farmer's daughter, born and bred in New Zealand who spent all day, every day outside!
Being a mama is hard work but I'm so up for enjoying it along the way.
Thank you for your inspirational thoughts and for sharing the beauty that is in your world X
love this and love you!….i remember those seven oaks days like they were yesterday! i find it hard to believe that i will have middle schoolers in 6 short years. what ever happened to laurie?
Malissa, I love that quote! I've never heard it before. Thanks for sharing.
It may have been hard to publish, but I'm glad you did. It's raw and honest and beautiful. 🙂
Well, I was going to leave a comment saying almost exactly what Tonya said so I'll just ask you to read her comment again. I also love the quote about keeping your eyes on your own work as well as Malissa's. Lots of good stuff in this post and comment section!
Amen! I've just recently started following you and boy did I need to here that today! I'm 23 and a new mom and very insecure. I feel like I'm being judged by all the "established" and "together" moms all the time. Your post gives me the courage to drink my coffee proudly, with the screaming child on my hip.
Nici~I love the way you write & live. I love the way your blog has evolved to include your babes. It's inspiring & your photos of your amazing home & hometown sometimes leave me longing for the mountains. It's the ocean I usually crave. A big HELL YEAH! stranger friend~you appeal to me.
I love your blog! I found it through Kelly (who's blog I love) but I relate more to you. So thanks for sharing!
I love this post Nici! I always feel a little better when I realize I'm not the only Mom who doesn't have it all together. I hate it when people make assumptions or tell me how I should do something, but life goes on. I like to love my daughter when she's good and bad, we have our share of timeouts but me snuggling with her and explaining why something is bad or wrong is usually more effective with her. Thanks for this post it made me feel a lot better!
I've always loved that about you, Nici. Your ability to dig right in and plow through, pushing fear to the side, reaching wildly to the end. Accomplishing things. Big things.
I was on a FB page the other night for a parenting group. It was meant to be a supportive community for mothers to come together (I think) with thoughts, etc. Ironically, it was so full of judgement that I could hardly swallow reading another word. By the time I got to the Eat Locally bashing of the formula feeding moms and the current Similac recall, I found myself yelling at the computer…Yeah, let's just all wear tee shirts that say…Let's bash the hell out of women and make mamas out there feel like real shit. Because we know what's going on with them and all.
Judgement sucks. Anyone who looks at you for hugging your child mid temper tantrum should feel blessed to have just learned a lesson about compassion.
Okay…sidetracking…great column this week. All the best with your intentions and promises to yourself. Very inspiring. xo
Amen! Very nicely put. And keep doing what you do!
Thanks so much for your beautiful writing today. I feel the same and know many Moms who have the similar thoughts.
I have a quote on my desk at work that I look to when needed:
"In the end, each of us will be judged by our standard of life, not by our standard of living; by our measure of giving, not by our measure of wealth; by our simple goodness, not by our seeming greatness."
Thanks for sharing today…I really needed it!
When we get these little glimpses into your life and how you think, I'm always amazed – life is so universal.
Thank you for sharing. You might be someone's else "bad" mama, but you've been a beacon of strength, hope for me.
All we can do is strive on.
(I'm glad that I'm not the only one who has 13 year old girl flare ups occasionally. Grateful they've lessened, sad they still remain. That voice of self-doubt is a bitch – and so was the anonymous note passed along at lunch one day…).
I've never understood fearing another person's success but many people do. I agree that the energy picks up momentum and is good for everyone, unfortunately some people sink into jealousy. A mentor of mine once told me
"there's always room for another rose in the garden"
which is a creed I live by in my personal and professional life.
Oh! I love your mantra! I may not be living in the same place in my life as you are (I'm a post grad working on finding my way to my version of "the real world") but your words ring so true to me! Incredibly relatable, on so many levels.
Beautiful post, Nici, just like you … your heart and your girls! You are amazingly talented and inspire me on a regular basis. Thank you for that!
PS – I just loved Mama May I's comment. That first paragraph, so very true!
Oh, one more thing …
You've got my hell yeah!
Happy Monday!
Hard to write, grateful to read–important to remember. Many thanks=)
I found out much later in life that there were a lot of Lunch in the Library girls. Glad to know that Laurie and you made friends.
Nici, you are getting a hell yeah from me! I love these insights into you, and find it so easy to relate. It is different coming from a career focused life to a child focused life. It brings up a whole bunch of different emotions, and I always thought it strange that I am so confident in my career and so NOT in parenting! I never thought I would find myself wanting to be accepted by the mainstream, but that is where I have found myself. Wanting to be accepted. Needing to feel accepted, and finding my old judgemental self so humbled. What a good thing, no?
Your sentiments in this post remind me what makes you so endearing to me… you are so open to life, people, experiences….. and inevitably you get stung by that like we all do. But I love how you can see right through it. Don't get me wrong, I love your supermama! posts, but I also love knowing that you too feel like a 13 year old sometimes. Thanks for having the courage to put it out there.
I hope you never stop being that open person, and life never gets you too jaded…. you inspire me to be better and live better.
Here's to that hike! I am right along with you, enjoying the vistas on those peaks, and finding myself and gathering energy in the valley's. xo
What truly fascinates me is why women especially tend to be so hard and judgmental about each other, as you had mentioned in last week's post. It seems that we really are quite unforgiving about other women's faults, even as we all try just to do our best. I think your friend's question was wonderfully insightful. No mama that I know has it fully together, but we are all doing a perfectly good job. On bad days I, too, judge and fret about being judged, and on good days I slap myself for doing both, and I feel ever so much happier. I do hope it gets better with age. It's not like we have a hundred years more to live, and the awareness of time passing and everyone moving on to the same beyond (whatever that is) must make us, ultimately, not care about the small stuff.
Well-done, mama.
ever since I had my daughter i truly just want to associate myself with good people, people who are searching for good, people who are in love with this world and wanting to better themselves the planet their children..
you've got it mama.. and im glad to have found your blog to be inspired
"Another's success doesn't exclude one from one's own. I believe it's actually cumulative. A success generates more room for success. It just gets bigger and greater."
This is so awesome! Needed to hear this today!
Your posts often leave me with a "power to the mamas" feeling. So, even in your times of uncertainty, know that you're inspiring others!
I love this topic and the openness to which you approach it. I have often said that I simply can not be close friends with people who feel like another's success jeopardizes their own, or who feels that another's failures is a bit of a boost. I think the main reason I can't is becuase I get drug in to the competition and hate that about myself. Whenever I have a judgemental thought about someone, I try to say "what insecurity/fear do I have going on for me to think such an unkind thing?"
I really enjoy reading your blog, seeing pictures of your life, windows to your sweet soul and your precious girls. The task of raising healthy, kind, confident girls is one I take seriously in addition to all the fun with the frills or bows and matching outfits, so I truly appreciate the camraderie I find from other mamas like YOU! You are doing a great job!
A big HELL YEAH from me Burb!!!!
No one likes to have negative things said about them…especially if they are so far from the truth. I feel sorry for the people who have nothing better to do than make up fabrications about people they are jealous of. They must lead really sad lives.
I too feel like you are on the threshold of some exciting things taking off! Just keep being true to yourself and all the good,(things and people), will follow!
Love you so…….
xoxo, Mom
Thank you, Friend.
Women posses something amazing–the innate ability to feel others' pain, to nurture, to care, to feel and reveal emotions that are unique to us. Imagine how much more we would progress if we all embraced these and used it for good. We're on the same team.
Your vulnerability and talents in expressing yourself have made for a great and powerful piece, here. And I imagine there is much more good to be shared from that keyboard of yours.
Love you.
Oh one more thing on this topic…I had this revelation that helps me. If someone has something mean to say about me (not for the sake of constructive criticism), I'd really RATHER them do it behind my back. What someone thinks of me is none of my business. The Four Agreements helped me with this.
My goodness, your words brought the sting of tears to my eyes and it made me laugh as well. Thank you! I feel this way constantly and then I feel the guilt from being so hard on myself… Sometimes it seems like an endless cycle!
I think what you said about going it alone without feedback is what stood out the most for me. So many times in the day I think to myself–I'm all I've got. No one is going to get through this day for me! It's times like that when I am so very grateful for spaces like this and women like you. I can read your words, feel connected with someoneone and most importantly, I don't feel alone.
Best to you and your littles, rockin' mama!
Nice Nici. Although it is easier at 40 to let it go, I still feel the "Like me, please", thoughts you described. And I hate them and they are less and less at almost 41. Be the beautiful, considerate, creative woman you are and thrive, drop off the haters at the trailhead.
I want to tell you that I think you are a Rock Star! I admire you from afar, and wish we would have been closer friends when we went to school together, and when I lived in Missoula. I look forward to hearing about the highs and lows you go through in your beautiful life. When I deal with my own shit and joys in life, I hope I can "grow up" to do so with half the grace you do. Thanks for sharing your heart!!!! Much love to you!
Thanks for this post and for being so raw and honest. I realize that none of us slip by without a little scrape or a bruise from time to time. We all should be supporting each other, dusting each other off and recognizing that we are all on this hike together… especially now that we're mamas. Let us all remember to embrace the terrain and be grateful that we're outside exploring life's landscape. Keep up the great work, Nici!
I can't wait until my own comparative mind bores me! That's my new goal in fact.
I like the phrase "keep your eyes on your own work."
I so agree with the idea that knowing any woman you think is PERFECT and has it all together…is a mirage : ) and we just don't see all the details. All of us are flawed in some way, and mommy hood is hard for everyone. It sounds like you are navigating your way just perfectly.
Well said Nici. I love your honesty & how you express it in your writing.
The nastiness that seems to so easily stream from the hearts of the UN-kind sisters out there is more often than not based on their own insecurities, and these insecurities often parade themselves in many ways, and it seems most common is pride & haughtiness-it deceivingly seems to mask their own ugliness they must feel on the inside, believing that by TRYING to deflate another's worth they will inflate their own…its sad.
I leave you with one of my most favorite poems:
Who I Am
I am not my hair, my eyes, my nose or my mouth.
I am not my skin or the shape of any of my body parts.
I am not the IQ of my brain.
I am not the sound of my voice or the volume of my laughter.
I am not my strengths or any of my weaknesses.
I am not the level of my skills.
The temple of my physical make up is a culmination of genetics. It reveals nothing about the person who resides within. I take no credit or point no blame for the way I look. My temple is perfect, as is.
This body is not who I am. It is an exquisitely perfect dwelling for my soul.
Everything about it is exactly as it should be. No other, anywhere, ever, could serve my soul as well.
I am not anything you can see with your eyes or touch with your hands. Should you judge me by that criteria, you will never know me.
I am not a dumping ground for bias that's based on a man-made standard, and I do not accept the prejudice it creates.
I am a union of body, mind and spirit, a trio, not a solo.
To know me, is to know yourself.
Those who hear the voice of their soul, recognise the song in mine. They do not stop at the front door and judge me by the dwelling in which I reside.
With a humble sense of honour, they knock upon the door and ask to come in.
The judgment of others does not change who I am. Quite the opposite is true. It reveals who they are.
Those who deem me unworthy at a glance and pass me on by, have my blessing to keep walking, for they have a long way to go. They have not reached the point in their journey where they are able to see and appreciate me for who I am.
I expect no more
I will accept no less.
© 2001 Terri McPherson
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. "I dont ever want to be so sure of something." You are very inspiring and I am grateful you share your spirit. <3
I have only been following your blog for a short time, but this post really hit home for me. I am just starting to get into the photography business and have already felt those questioning, judging stares/comments. Thank you for reminding me that I am doing the best that I can. AND, most importantly, I am following my passion. So in the words of, well, you…all those people who doubt and criticize harshly can "buzz off bitchy sister" 🙂
Hell yeah indeed!
Loved this…
With my brain full of ideas and concepts and no colleague to chew on it with me. I like to be pushed. I like challenges. I like criticism. I want to be better. And because I feel so open to feedback and because I am on the threshold of some exciting things taking off, I feel like all my guts and nerves are on the outside ready to receive the full impact of anything in my path.
Your Mama Digs really spoke to me as well… we all have that 13-year old girl who shows up from time to time… luckily she gets quieter as the years go by. Loved the "hike" analogy.
Thank you for putting this all out in the world… you rock.
See ya' on the trail!
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I'll be 41 next month. And yes, I do not care what people think anymore. They either love me or do not. That's OK! :o)
Bravo! Bravo! Standing ovation! This is marvelous!
Hey Nici – If we ever meet…I wanna be friends love it AND I'm picking up what your putting down.
i love your honesty! you say so many truths about growing up and learning to be authentic!!
there is a saying i like…."the courageous don't live forever,but the timid don't live at all"
when we put ourselves out there courageously we do rattle other peoples cages, but i always figure they are envious or are struggling with their own issues…..and, if i find myself looking at another mom/woman sideways i quickly assess myself to see why.
i'm 10ish years ahead of you on this amazing path and you will grow your confidence each and every day…some days better than others. learning to be present in every moment is the greatest challenge of a mom, i think. so easy to worry about things….but worrying won't help and will always take you away from *now*.
thanks so much for sharing yourself!!! you are inspiring!!!
You said it sister! The 40s do get a little easier. I still have my moments, but I can have faith and hold fast to each year letting go a bit more of "what others think" and opening up more to what really matters.
You are way ahead of where I was 10 years ago. Good job mama.
You have a whole village that loves you…just the way you are:)
Damn, girl, another home run. "Uplifting" describes this post.
I feel you, girl.
Go to google and search for a Rumi poem called The Guesthouse. Good stuff.
Love to hear from a fellow processer! xo
Oh yes, the insecurities. The 40s ARE better in some ways, though for me, in other ways, the insecurities remain, and get reinforced.
As a woman raising a grandson, born to a daughter who was at the time 16, I get TONS of judgement from people who assume I was a 'bad mother' to said daughter. I know that is untrue, I know that she was provided with every scrap of information and activities that statistically indicated she'd be the 'last' girl to get knocked up at 15, but yet, she did. And chose to keep her baby. And then bailed before she turned 18. But I refuse to defend or explain myself. I know I did the best I could, I know I did all the 'right' things, I know I had all the 'right' conversations. And I have learned that kids are individual people. Period. And we love our kids fiercely and strongly, we pour our hearts minds and souls into them, we become stronger through parenting, but when all is said and done, they are still their own people, people who make their own choices. And I have released that to the universe. It is sooooo out of my control!!!
So, I have relaxed with grandboy, I have relaxed into my 40s, and keep doing the best I can with the little one I have now. About whom I am also sometimes insecure when moms cast an eye our way… he with his wild, long curls, me in my tie-dye, looking and sometimes actually being younger than the mommies. But usually, on most days, I don't give a flying fuck. I adore him, and he adores me, and his mom is doing, if not great, well, okay. And she's got puhlenteee of growing up yet to do at 20. She's going to be just fine, so is he, so am I, so is Grampa. So I just hold on to that conviction, and keep on pluggin' away.
And whoever it was who said, 'when you see a mom you think has it all together… she doesn't' is TOTALLY RIGHT! We're all internally freaking out many many days. Maybe if we let that show more, and opened up to support, and freely gave support, we'd all be stronger.
I LOVE that quote. I am going to remember that one. Thank you for sharing it.
I spent more time than I care to admit reading your blog this past weekend. Actually, truth be told my partner and I each sat on our ends of the couch, lap tops in hand, pouring over your blog…Both exclaiming about how much we love you.
Love your wit, your beauty, your photos and tributes to sweet Alice,your family…..we both cried over your Ruby's hospital stay and your sweet chickens…and relished in your Obama pride!
And today, I come on and read your beautiful metaphor of falling apples…You are light Nici. Thank you for letting me see some of this.
Catching up on the incredible thoughts shared here and over email. How lucky am I to have all of your insight?! For real you all are inspiring. You thank me for sharing but you share too…it's a big, beautiful exchange.
Thank you.
Gramomster, I always love your posts. I cried through this one! You are AWE.SOME.
Julie, Wow! Really? Two laptops on one couch? I love the visual. Yes, Alice is amazingly lovable.
Laura, I love the quote.
Julie, I love the poem.
Already commented on Let's Hike (my new favorite mama digs! You know it is good when I ask my husband to read it too!) but can't get the name Leah Morrow (and Mary) out of my head from your previous post. Did they by chance own or manage a Hallmark Gold Crown store prior to owning Selvedge Studio? I worked at Hallmark Cards –headquarters here in KC — for about 10 years and part of my sales territory was in Montana….Higgin's Hallmark, Stein's Hallmark, Leslie's, etc. I am thinking maybe that is why I recognize these names!
Hugs to those adorable little ones! Can't wait to see your nuggets this week. I'll be the one stalking first thing in the morning!
Jill B (Overland Park, KS)
Oh Mama! I love this post. It is so clearly and understoodably written. I love your core, real thoughts on motherhood. We all have those insecurities. thank you for reminding me that i'm not alone. That how we live, does indeed impact those around us and who we are.
I still want to know where you got your kitchen table 😉
Dear Gramomster, I would like to meet you.
Nice Nici. Misery loves company? True, but every other feeling and emotion loves company too. I love the hike better than the hampster on the wheel. At least when on a hike there is the promise of a destination spinning one's wheels is never a good feeling. You are doing a great job Nicole. Trust me that 40 is not a magic sting free number. Stings still happen. I have to say the Laurie story made my chest tighten a bit. The picture of you walking home from school with salt stained cheeks pissed me off. What's her phone number, I think we need to chat.
Well said. We all need to support and uplift each other and set that great example for our kids. I too have found that surrounding myself with those who are supportive and encouraging makes all the difference. True, by putting ourselves 'out there' we run the risk of others judgement but it's all part of the journey…… and how wonderful that we get to choose which opinions will make a difference, right? A lesson to be passed on!
Enjoyed your essay.
Awww, Nici. Thanks.
TRB… Right back atcha. Perhaps we'll get a chance. We're moving to Montana next spring at the end of the semester. Hubby's contract is done and over, so why not do whatever it is we need to do somewhere we want to be, right?
What can I say Nici, I love your blog. You are quirky and you make me long for my home town, Missoula! When you talk about stuff I can relate, your photo's are genius and you have a fabulous life. You are a great mama and don't ever let anyone tell you different.
I love "buzz off bitchy sister!".
I'm 36 and have one child. In the last 3 years I have become more relaxed, let shit roll off my back, don't give a crap what others think. This is my life, not their's and in the whole grand scheme I won't let someone else's bad vibes, shitty day or horrible life bring me down!
March on sister!! I'll be in Mizzo in Feb. 2011 my sister is having a baby and I am excited to head home for a visit, although not greatly excited that it will be winter!! It's a step down from Colorado winter, believe you me!
I think judgement is a powerful thing, and it should be a very rare thing. There are situations in life when things can be very bad, in World War 2 kind of terms or when you encounter something deeply morally wrong, and you think – here is that moment when I actually do need to judge, when it matters, and when it matters that I get it right.
But this idea of 'judging' between mothers is ridiculous, in less you see a serious case of child abuse or neglect, why should people ever need to judge another mother. Everyone can do 'being a mum' in their own special way, isn't that part of the beauty of it? You can't buy identikit mothers or kids off the shelf – every family works out what's best for them.
I think some of the people who judge about minor things are looking to bolster their own sense that the way they are doing things is right. Forgetting that other ways can be just as good, forgetting that if you spend so long defending your own rigid rules and judging others, you can miss all the spontaneous joys that don't fit into "the way it should be".
I think you're right to continue whittling away at any residue of middle school need to please. We are all different and so pleasing some whilst horrifying others is probably a sign of success in self fulfillment.
I remember waking up the day after I left my all girls school, where there were all kinds of rules about how you should dress/speak/eat/etc.., and thinking wow, I don't HAVE to do that. I could go into town tomorrow in the most unfashionable dress and my slippers, and no one has the right to be bothered. I love that feeling.
Love that quote, by the way. It reminded me of something Rik said on Kelle's blog, about how when you are sunk in a valley emotionally, take it in the surroundings because you don't want to put ALL the bad time behing you, some things you learn will help you appreciate the mountain heights when you climb back up. I paraphrased badly there, sorry Rik! I know it is quite different to your point but they both show that the implication of every moment and the impact of every action is so much wider in time and space than we think. We spend so much wandering how things will pan out in the next 60 minutes of two weeks, but it is comforting to me to think that our real experiences are interlinked in a much vaster way. Sorry to waffle, really am, will try not to do it again. But hey, you inspire people to think/waffle! That is a compliment.
Hi there, just wanted to say, I enjoyed this post. It was funny. Keep on posting!