text:
Joke of the week [53 = year 2, #1] : "An old cowboy in a bar" (July 21 - July 27)
old cowboy was sitting in a bar when a lesbian slid onto the stool next to him.
She asked, "You're an old cowboy, aren't you?"
He replied, "Yes, mam, and who are you?"
She answered, "I'm a lesbian. When I wake in the morning I think of women. When I'm eating I think of women. When I sleep
I dream of women."
After she left, another lady sat down next to the cowboy and asked him again if he was an old cowboy.
He scratched his head for a minute and then said, "I thought I was, but just a few minutes ago I found out I'm a lesbian."
Joke of the week [54 = year 2, #2]: "What do you call a cow that ..." (July 28 - August 3)
What do you call a cow that doesn't give any milk?
Answer: An udder failure.
Joke of the week [55 = year 2, #3]: "Two peanuts walking ...." (August 4 - August 10)
Two peanuts were
walking down the street.
One was assaulted.
Joke of the week [56 = year 2, #4]: "daft definitions" (1) (August 11 - August 16)
Barbecue: People waiting to have their hair cut
#2) Fireplace: A shooting range
#3) Kindred: Fear of one's relations see also: #57, #94, #95, #96, 226, #372
#4) Legend: A foot
Joke of the week [57 = year 2, #5]: More "daft definitions", ctd. (2) (August 18 - August 24)
Minimum: A very small mother
#6) Onward: Where a nurse works
#7) Shamrock: A fake stone see also: #56, #94, #95, #96, 226, #372
#8) Unison: An only child
Joke of the week [58 = year 2, #6]: A panda walks into a bar ... (Aug. 25 - Aug.31)
panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich and a beer. After seemingly
enjoying his meal, he pulls out a revolver and plugs the piano player.
Joke of the week [59 = year 2, #7]: "Punorama"(1) [to be read aloud] (September 1 - September 7)
Ammonia: "AMMONIA little 'un."
#2) Bulletin: "He shot a BULLETIN the air."
#3) Climate: "It's so steep I'll never CLIMATE."
#4) Freeze: "FREEZE a jolly good fellow!"
#5) Harmony: "HARMONY times must I tell you?"
#6) Infamy: "He's got it INFAMY."
Joke of the week [60 = year 2, #8]: "Punorama" (2) [to be read aloud] (September 8 - September 14)
#1) Juicy:
"JUICY what I mean?"
#2) Khaki: "I can't start the engine without the KHAKI."
#3) Major: "What MAJOR do it?"
#4) Narrow: "He shot a NARROW in the air."
#5) Rapture: I have RAPTURE parcels."
#6) Undue: "Look down and see what's UNDUE."
Joke of the week [61 = year 2, #9]: "Lisping god" (September 15 - September 21)
thunder god went for a ride on his favourite horse.
"I'm Thor!" he cried.
The horse replied: "You forgot your thaddle, thilly."
Joke of the week [62 = year 2, #10]: "I say, I say, I say ..." (September 22 - September 28)
comic: I say, I say, I say, I hear your wife's gone to the West Indies. -
2nd comic: Oh no, she went of her own accord.
Joke of the week [63 = year 2, #11]: Romance Mathematics (September 29 - October 5)
man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Joke of the week [64 = year 2, # 12]: Office Arithmetic (October 6 - October 12)
boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
Joke of the week [65 = year 2, # 13]: Job Interview (October 13 - October 19)
the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person*)
asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, "What starting salary were
you thinking about? "The engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of
$125, 000 a year, depending on the benefit package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks' vacation, full medical and dental insurance, a company retirement fund of 50% of the salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a silver Lexus?"
The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
The Human Resources person*) replied, "Sure, but you started it."
*) Human Resources person ~ personnel manager
Joke of the week [66 = year 2, # 14]: Insurance Fraud (October 20 - October 26)
A man
left the court in his wheelchair with a compensation payment of half a million
dollars. The insurance detectives followed him down the street. "You won't
get away with this fraud," said one of them. "We will be watching you
for the rest of your life."
"No problem ," the man replied, "You can watch all you like. You can watch me go on my world trip . You can watch me in Lourdes and you can watch, with your own eyes, one hell of a miracle."
Joke of the week [67 = year 2, #15]: Happy birthday! (October 27 - November 2)
about the past, you can't change it.
Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.
Joke of the week [68 = year 2, #16]: Law School (November 3 - November 9)
professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you
were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here's an orange."
The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"
The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding...'"
Joke of the week [69 = year 2, #17]: Understanding engineers (1) (November 10 - November 16)
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Joke of the week [70 = year 2, # 18]: Understanding engineers (2) (November 17 - November 23)
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Joke of the week [71 = year 2, #19] Understanding engineers (3) (November 24 - November 30)
graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Joke of the week [72 = year 2, #20]: "What to wear ..." (December 1 - December 7)
A man,
called to testify at the IRS*),
asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest
clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."
Confused, the man went to his Rabbi, told him of the
conflicting advice and requested some resolution of the dilemma.
"Let me tell you a story," replied the Rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel."
The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?" *) IRS (US): Internal Revenue Services
"Don't you see," the Rabbi replied, "no matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed." = Inland Revenue (GB)
Joke of the week [73 = year 2, #21]: 3 CHRI$TMA$ crackers (December 8 - December 14)
What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
A: Tarzipan !
see also: CHRI$TMA$ > crackers > knock, knock > crazy questions
Q: What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
A: Grave-y !
Q: This turkey tastes like an old settee*). *) settee (BrE) = sofa
A: Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing.
Joke of the week [74 = year 2, #22]: 3 more CHRI$TMA$ crackers (December 15 - December 21)
What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?
A: A porcupine!
Q: What is the best key to get at Christmas?
A: A turkey!
Q: What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ?
A: My pop is bigger than yours !
Joke of the week [75 = year 2, #23]: Yet another 3 CHRI$TMA$ crackers (December 22 - December 28)
What goes oh, oh, oh?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards.
Q: What does Santa like to have for breakfast?
A: Mistle-"toast".
Q: What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney and the fire is still burning?
A: Crisp Kringle.
Joke of the week [76 = year 2, #24]: New Year's resolution (Dec. 29, 2003 - Jan. 4, 2004)
A young man at a New Year's party turns to his
friend and asks for a cigarette. "I thought you made a New Year's resolution
to quit smoking," his friend says.
"I'm in the process of quitting," the man says. "Right now, I am in the middle of phase one."
"What's phase one?" his friend asks.
"I've quit buying," the man answers.
Joke of the week [77 = year 2, #25]: Sliding under the table (January 5 - January 11)
and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. A waitress noticed that
John was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table,
while Mary acted quite unconcerned.
The waitress came over to the table and said to Mary, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband has just slid under the table."
Mary calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Oh, no, he didn't. In fact, my husband just walked in the front door."
Joke of the week [78 = year 2, #26]: Tuition Fees (January 12 - January 18)
Joke of the week [79 = year 2, #27] : Psychiatrist(s) (1) (January 19 - January 25)
A psychotherapist was doing great business since he started up on his own. So much so that that he could now afford to have a proper shop sign advertising his services. So he told a kid to paint one for him and put it above his shop entrance. But instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why. The boy had only found a small wooden board so he had split up the word into 3 words:
see also psychiatrist cartoons, index
Joke of the week [80 = year 2, #28] : Psychiatrist(s) (2) (January 26 - February 1)
When the new patient was settled
comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm
not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should
start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."
Joke of the week [81 = year 2, #29]: Psychiatrist(s) (3) (February 2 - February 8)
many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A) None. The light bulb will change itself when it's ready.
B) Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.
C) Just one, but it takes nine visits.
D) How long have you been having this fantasy?"
E) "Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?"
F) "How many do you think it takes?"
Joke of the week [82 = year 2, #30] Valentine's Day (1) (February 9 - February 15)
Valentine's Jokes:
Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A: Because it's all heart.
2) Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
3) Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you.
4) Q: What is a ram's favorite song?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, Dear.
5) Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
A: A stamp.
6) Q: What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean?
A: One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.
7) Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her? see also: #343
A: Antelope.
Joke of the week [83 = year 2, #31]: The Swearing Parrot (February 16 - February 22)
A man bought a parrot but got annoyed because it wouldn't stop swearing. So as a punishment, he put the bird in the freezer. An hour later, the shivering parrot begged to be let out of the freezer. "I promise never to swear again," it said. "I've learned my lesson. Just tell me one thing: what on earth did that turkey do?"
Joke of the week [84 = year 2, #32]: Down Under (1) (February 23 - February 29)
What's the difference between yoghurt and Australia?
A: Yoghurt has a real live culture.
Q: What's the difference between an Australian wedding and an Australian funeral? see also Down Under cartoons, index
A: One less drunk at the funeral.
Q: How many Australian men does it take to change a light bulb? see also joke #81 ("light bulbs") more "strine" jokes: #85, #86
A: None. It's a woman's job.
Joke of the week [85 = year 2, #33]: Down Under (2) (March 1 - March 7)
Q: Why do kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because their children play inside.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that does not come back? see also Down Under, cartoons, index more "strine" jokes: #84, #86
A: A stick.
Joke of the week [86 = year 2, #34]: Down Under (3) (March 8 - March 14)
Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer
and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,
"Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows". see also Down Under, cartoons, index
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"? The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"? more "strine" jokes: #84, #85
Joke of the week [87 = year 2, #35]: "Three old men ..." (March 15 - March 21)
old men are at the doctor for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?"
"274" was his reply.
The doctor worriedly says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
"Tuesday" replies the second man.
The doctor sadly says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"?
"Nine" says the third man.
"That's great!" exclaims the doctor. "How did you get that"?
"Jeez, Doc, it's pretty simple," says the third man. I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
Joke of the week [88 = year 2, #36]: "A man in a balloon ..." (March 22 - March 28)
A man
is flying in a hot air balloon and realises he is lost. He reduces his altitude
and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts,
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says. "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Technical Support," says the balloonist.
"I do," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but completely useless."
The man says, "You must be in management."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "But how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're still in the same position before we met, but now it's my fault."
Joke of the week [89 = year 2, #37] Judge (1) (March 29 - April 4)
Judge asked the defendant, "Mr Jones, do you understand that you have
sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"
Jones: "I do."
Judge: "Now what do you say to defend yourself?"
Jones: "Your Honour, under those limitations ...... NOTHING."
Joke of the week [90 = year 2, #38] Judge (2) (April 5 - April 11)
his seat in his chambers, the Judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So,"
he said, "I have been presented by both of you with a bribe." Both
lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You attorney Roberts, gave me $15,000. And
you attorney Heathcote, gave me $10,000."
The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Roberts ... "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits."
Joke of the week [91 = year 2, #39] Judge (3) (April 12 - April 18)
The Judge
admonished the witness, "Do you understand that you have sworn to tell
the truth?"
"I do."
"Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?"
"Sure," said the witness, "My side will win."
Joke of the week [92 = year 2, #40] Oldest profession ... (April 19 - April 25)
A doctor, a civil engineer and a computer scientist were discussing which was
the oldest profession.
The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore his was the oldest profession in the world.
The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible which stated that God created order from chaos. That was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering job ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest.
The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, and with a sly smile responded, "Yes, but who do you think created CHAOS?"
Joke of the week [93 = year 2, #41] Crazy Question (30) (April 26 - May 2)
What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones. see also: crazy or questions (#30)
Joke of the week [94 = year 2, #42] "daft definitions", ctd. (3) (May 4 - May 10)
Lawsuit: A garment worn by a policeman
#10) Guillotine: Something that will give a person a pain in the neck
#11) Seasickness: Travelling by rail
#12) Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone. (geddit?) see also: #56 ,#57, #95, #96, 226, #372
#13) Explorer: A guy who gets enough facts for a book
Joke of the week [95 = year 2, #43] "daft definitions", ctd. (4) (May 10 - May 16)
The place where Cleopatra lived (sorry!)
#15) Turtle: A lizard driving a mobile home
#16) Old Maid: A lady in waiting and waiting and waiting (Not PC, I'm afraid!)
#17) Filibuster [US]: A cowboy who breaks in young mares (geddit?) see also: #56 ,#57, # 94, #96, #226, #372
#18) Desk: A garbage dump with drawers
Joke of the week [96 = year 2, #44] "daft definitions", ctd. (5) (May 17 - May 23)
A man who tries to be everything but himself [actress: a woman ....
#20) Holy smoke: What happened when the church burned down
#21) Jury: Twelve men whose job it is to decide who is the better lawyer see also #56, #57, #94, #95, #96, #226, #372
#22) Zebra: A horse prisoner
Joke of the week [97 = year 2, #45] Saying grace (May 24 - May 30)
tiger was about to eat a missionary. The tiger cornered the helpless man an then
suddenly fell on its knees and started to pray.
"It's a miracle!" exclaimed the missionary. "I'm saved. The tiger isn't going to eat me."
Just then he heard a heavenly voice say, "You are wrong. The tiger is going to eat you. He's just saying grace before his meal."
Joke of the week [98 = year 2, #46] Punorama (3) [advanced!] (May 31 - June 6)
election result is too close to call," Tom recounted.
"Anyone for a pancake?" asked Tom flippantly.
"Open the soup," said Tom cannily.
"Nice lorry," Tom articulated. see also joke #59 & joke #60
"I never know what to buy in supermarkets," said Tom listlessly.
Joke of the week [99 = year 2, #47] Punorama (4) [advanced!] (June 7 - June 13)
shall not leave you a penny when I die," said Tom wilfully.
"Send this back to the examiner," Tom remarked.
"I burnt the food," said Tom with panache. see also joke#59 & joke #60 & joke #98
"I'm sleeping with my gamekeeper," said the lady chattily.
Joke of the week [100 = year 2, #48] Painting the porch (June 14 - June 20)
Johnny was out of work, so he went from house to house asking if there were any jobs to be done. One man felt sorry for him, so he gave him a pot of yellow paint and a brush and told him to paint his porch yellow from top to bottom. When he had finished, Johnny came to the man to ask for his money. "The job is finished," he said. "And, by the way, it's not a Porsche; it's a Mercedes."
Joke of the week [101 = year 2, #49] "How many actors does it take ...?" (June 21 - June 27)
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer 1: Only one. They don't like to share a spotlight.
Answer 2: Five. One to climb the ladder and the other four to say: "That should have been me!"
Answer 3: One to change it, and 99 to stand there and say: "I could have done it better."
Answer 4: Just one. He stands there, and the world revolves around him.
Joke of the week [102 = year 2, #50] "How many theatre critics does it take ..." (June 28 - July 4)
How many theatre critics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: All of them - 1 to be highly critical of the design elements, 1 to express contempt for the glow of the lamp, 1 to lambast the interpretation of wattage used, 1 to critique the performance of the bulb itself, 1 to recall superb light bulbs of past seasons and lament how this one fails to measure up, and all to join in the refrain reflecting on how they could build a better light bulb in their sleep.
Joke of the week [103 = year 2, #51] "Mystery Play" (July 5 - July 11)
mystery-lover takes his place in the theatre for opening night, but his seat is
way back in the theatre, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and
whispers: "I just love a good mystery and I have been anxiously
anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the
clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far
away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box-office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call*) window and snatches it up. Returning to the man in the back of the theatre, he whispers: "Follow me." The usher leads the man down to the second row and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle. "Thanks so much," says the theatergoer, "This seat is perfect." He then hands him 50 p (or: a quarter).
The usher looks down at the coin, leans over and whispers: "The butler did it in the parlour with a candlestick."
*) (Schalter etc.) für reservierte Karten oder sonstige zurückgelegte Waren; die Bezahlung erfolgt bei der Abholung
Joke of the week [104 = year 2, #52] Irish joke (1) (July 12 - July 18)
Two leprechauns*) went to the convent and begged an audience with Mother Superior. "Well, how can I help you little people?" asked Mother Superior. The larger and more intelligent looking of the leprechauns asked: "Oh Mother Superior, would you be knowing of any midget nuns here at the convent?" "No," says Mother Superior, "I don't have any midget nuns here at the convent". "All right then, Mother Superior, would you be knowing of any midget nuns in all of Ireland then?" "No, no," replied Mother Superior, "I don't know of any nuns who are also midgets in all of Ireland at all." "Well then Mother Superior, in all of nundom, in the whole world of all the nuns, would you be knowing, then, of any midget nuns?' "No, I would not, there are no midget nuns in the whole of the world!" replied Mother Superior, "and would you please tell me what this is all about!!?" The asking leprechaun turned sadly to the stupid leprechaun and said: "See, it's as I told you all along, you've been dating a penguin." *) leprechaun: (in Irish folklore) a small sprite = Kobold
So much for year TWO. Well, you've guessed it HERE COMES YEAR THREE with joke #105!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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subset: commoncrawl


text:
San Bruno police have arrested a teenage girl on suspicion of stabbing a man.
Officers arrived on the 200 block of Emaron Drive around 7:57 p.m. Friday in response to a report of a stabbing.
Police discovered a 19-year-old man on the scene who was transported to a local hospital. He is expected to survive, according to police.
A 16-year-old girl was taken into custody and transported to the Hillcrest Juvenile Facility. The still unidentified suspect was charged with attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon and domestic violence.
The relationship between the suspect and victim is unclear.
People with information about the incident are asked to contact the San Bruno Police Department at (650) 616-7100


text:
Embossing folders are a great way to dress up a card front. Spellbinders now offers a beautiful array of embossing folders that both emboss an image or pattern, as well as, die cut at the same time. This creates beautiful cards with even more dimension, which means I can layer more die cuts on top, and more color on bottom. Using two of my favorite new die cut and embossing folders, I created the following card set. Be sure to pin images for inspiration later!
These gorgeous embossing folders are part of a NEW release for Spellbinders, and to celebrate I'm sharing inspiration; along with, several other designers on how you can use these gorgeous new folders.
Here are some additional photos of these cards:
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text:
Things That People Without Kids Don't Understand
When you become a parent, you join an exclusive group of people who just "get it." Parenting is one of the hardest jobs on the planet. You're always on call, everything constantly changes, and no matter how hard you try to be a "perfect parent," your kids do things you never anticipated or planned for. It's enough to make your head spin. On the other hand, the love you have for your kids makes it all worth it. Here are a few of the things you need to have kids to fully understand.
You can't learn how to parent from books
As a diligent parent, you probably read a ton of books to try to "get ready" for the huge change you're about to experience. But unfortunately, you can't learn how to parent from books. Fern Weis, parent-teen relationship coach told me, "We all have ideas about what should work, mostly drawing from our own experience. But when you get past the care and feeding of an infant, there's very little that's predictable."
She added, "That little person in front of you has her own personality, wants, and needs. No matter what you read in books or hear from friends, there is nothing one-size-fits-all about parenting. You feel like you're making it up as you go."
No matter how well-intentioned your friends are and no matter how well-researched that parenting book is, your child is unique, with their own unique challenges and strengths. As much as you might want to have it all figured out, your kid will often throw you for a loop.
You're not a bad parent because your kid messes up
Kids make mistakes. They mess up and do things you don't want them to do, but that doesn't mean you're a bad parent. Weis told me in our interview, "It's very easy for people to critique your exhaustion, worry, and lack of consistency. The reality is that everything changes when you have children. It's the most important, awesome, unpredictable, nerve-wracking, and rewarding job you'll ever have — raising this child, teaching him your values, and preparing him for life on his own. The stakes are high."
She continued, "When this child veers off the path you envision for him (from missing homework to drugs, and everything in between), every button you have is pushed. As they go into the teen years, the truth is that you really are not in control and there are no guarantees. Your job is to see how you can influence your child and where you have leverage."
Unfortunately, it's all too easy for people to judge parents without understanding the full picture. Weis added, "It's tough enough that parents are hard on themselves. Add to that the people who are not in the trenches and see your children and their actions as a reflection on you."
Sometimes your parental instincts override logic
While raising a child is often a struggle, the love that comes with having kids is one of a kind. Aricia Shaffer, former therapist and parenting coach, told me, "That love, fortunately, informs every single decision you make and can impact other relationships. The parent-instinct often overrides logic and that can be a good thing. Sometimes our instincts keep our kids safe. But it may not make sense to non-parents."
She shared, "One of my clients had been doing some career coaching with me. It culminated in a job offer which sounded ideal, but he would need to move out of state with his two little girls. While everything was falling into place, something was nagging at him and telling him not to move."
Despite how great this job was, Shaffer said, "He wound up passing on the job. About a year later, his little girl was diagnosed with an illness and the best treatment options were not even available where they would have moved. His instincts were right on."
Shaffer shared advice for non-parents. "You may not know why your friend is doing what they're doing if you don't have children, but they likely have good reason," she said. "The answer may seem obvious to you, but emotion and intuition can't be removed from the equation."
You're exhausted, but it's worth it
Raising kids is extremely tiring, but because of your love for your kids, it's worth it. Shaffer told me, "With nearly every other career choice, you have down time. There may be times that are busier than others, but if you absolutely have to, you can sleep, eat or even quit." However, she added, "Parenting is the one job that regardless of what is needed, you must rise to the challenge. It can be a time of spectacular growth, but it can also be a trial by fire. Being awake with a sick child for 72 hours straight with little chance to even run to the bathroom or grab a bite is demanding."
But you wouldn't give up this tough job for anything. Shaffer continued, "Perhaps even more confounding to non-parents is that you wouldn't have it any other way. There is nothing more gratifying to parents than to get their child through a difficult time."
No matter how much your exhaustion is worth it, it does take a toll. Shaffer said, "I have had clients come in who tell me they find their keys in the freezer and the milk in the cupboard! There are times when you're parenting when you can hardly see straight and at those times, it's vital to have some support."
You're constantly on call
Your non-parent friends may not understand why you aren't available, but when you're a parent, you may feel like you have to be on call for your kids much of the time. Shaffer told me, "As kids get older, parents are often 'on call.' You're waiting for the next time you're needed. It can become habit so even after the kids are old enough to rarely need help, parents can find themselves without much of a life — just waiting for the kids to need them."
Shaffer added, "Parents, particularly stay at home parents, need to reinvent themselves as their kids get older. Old careers, hobbies, and friends may no longer be a fit. This time can feel like a crisis with a lot of regrets."
If you're friends with a parent who is going through this transition, Shaffer suggested, "As a friend, it's good to know about this time — usually hitting when your friends are in their 40s and 50s, because you can be a huge source of support. Parenting can be a very absorbing career and can last for decades. It's a huge investment and the pay-offs aren't always obvious. Helping friends see the differences they have made in their family or their community is a gift."
There are limits to what you can control
If you're a control freak, parenting helps you let go a little — whether you want to or not! Jill Whitney, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told me, "No parent can force any child to eat something or go to sleep. You can do lots of things to encourage healthy eating; you can structure a bedtime routine that makes it more likely your child will get to bed at a reasonable hour. But when kids dig in their heels — as all of them do sometimes — you can't make them."
Even if you try to make them do what you want, Whitney said they'll find a way around it. "You can refuse to give them the junk food, but you can't make them eat their peas. You can insist that they stay in their bed quietly, but they won't fall asleep until they're ready."
Whitney added that this lack of control will force you to have some humility. She said, "Parenting is so humbling. You're so much smarter and stronger than your child, but there's only so much you can control. Wise parents learn to work with their kids' style rather than fighting against it. You make the rules, but how they get implemented is sometimes a negotiation. And sometimes things just don't go the way you want."
Tantrums happen even to good parents
Has your kid ever thrown a tantrum in public? It doesn't necessarily mean you're doing something wrong. Whitney told me that tantrums aren't always a bad sign. She said, "Pitching a fit in the grocery store is a normal part of testing limits. Kids are trying to learn about the world and how much they can control. They learn that crying often gets our attention... so maybe crying louder would work even better? If I yell loud enough and embarrass Mommy enough, can I have the candy bar?"
If you're judging a parent for their child's tantrum, she advised, "The test of whether that frazzled, embarrassed parent is doing a good job isn't whether the kid has a tantrum — it's how she handles it. If tantrums result in rewards, they keep happening. On the other hand, if a tantrum backfires for the kid, he'll quickly learn tantrums aren't effective techniques."
For parents, she suggested, "You can validate the feelings, but don't cave. Tell your kid, 'I know you're disappointed I won't buy you the candy, but now that you've had a tantrum, there is no way I'm going to buy it. If you ask nicely, sometimes I may say yes; but if you yell, the answer will always be no.'"
Parents get very busy
Being a parent is all-consuming, and sometimes it means you can't do the things you used to, like going to parties or getting together with friends. That may be difficult for people without kids to understand.
"One thing people without children don't tend to understand is how busy parents are. Not only are you taking care of other human beings' every needs in addition to your own, but you have their schooling, social lives, and activities to tend to," Licensed Psychologist Jesse D. Matthews explained." This all takes up a lot of time, which leaves little time or energy to do thing things you did before kids — like meeting up for dinner or drinks, going away for guys' or girls' weekends, and attending impromptu get-togethers."
He's also experienced this in his own life as a parent. "Some family members who didn't have children when my wife and I did used to get mad at us every time we couldn't attend a party, when we would come but would have to leave early, or when we would bring our kids over and they would mess around with their knick knacks and furniture." Matthews continued, "It was so frustrating for us because we were already struggling! But after a few years, our kids are older and easier (in some ways), and we watch them struggle with their young children. I think they get it now."
Being a parent takes a lot of self-sacrifice
When you don't have kids, you can put yourself first, but when you have kids, your needs often get put on the back burner. Matthews told me, "A second thing people without children don't get is that most parents learn to put their children first, sacrificing many of their own needs or changing their standards for things like self-care, how much time they need with friends, and how much time they may spend working."
He shared, "Since I've had children, I did without a lot of things I used to prioritize — new clothes and shoes whenever I wanted them; I drove a dorkier, older car; and I would get my hair cut every four to five weeks, instead of every two. When you're single or don't have children, rarely do you have to put others first, so I think this is a really tough concept for people to relate to until they get there."
You have to be incredibly flexible with your schedule
Because you're so busy and your kids take priority, you need to be very flexible, something your friends without kids may not fully "get." Matthews shared with me, "Another thing people without children struggle to understand is that being a parent requires you to be flexible in ways that people without children don't. For example, a parent might have to take a sick day or work from home to stay home with a sick child."
When you have kids, work/life balance becomes a much greater struggle as well. Matthews added, "Life balance becomes more of an issue, given a greater variety of things to balance. Given increased responsibilities related to parenting, a parent might end up working late at night, early in the morning, or during the weekend — whereas a non-parent might do a better job of keeping work at work, given their ability to come in early, stay late, or due to less need to miss work days."
This can cause tension at work, where people without kids won't understand why you're so frazzled. Matthews said, "Coworkers and supervisors or bosses may not understand what parents deal with, which can create stress for the parent/employee, as well as perhaps tension in the workplace. Colleagues may also not understand that their parent counterparts can't attend every happy hour or co-worker get-together either."


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What would you say if I told you that Toronto could adopt some of the toughest rules for billboards in Canada, then put a charge on all of the remaining billboards to pay for better enforcement of Toronto's new sign laws, as well as for public art and beautification of the public realm?
That's exactly the proposition the BeautifulCity.ca Alliance, a coalition composed largely of artists and public space activists (myself included), has brought to city hall. And city hall is listening. A new sign by-law and a proposal to put a charge on billboards to generate up to $52 million per year is scheduled to make its way through city hall's committee cycle in June and end up on city council's July agenda.
With endorsements from 40 organizations in Toronto, including Spacing, IllegalSigns.ca and Toronto Arts Council, the Alliance is getting ready for an epic fight with the outdoor advertising industry.
Having seen what Tim Horton's did to thwart an attempt to make coffee cups more recyclable, the BeautifulCity.ca Alliance isn't going to sit back and hope that city hall reins in the outdoor advertising industry on its own. With only a month left until the Alliance's proposal hits Executive Committee, BeautifulCity.ca, in conjunction with Youth Action Network's Youth Week, has organized a town hall meeting for May 5 to inform people about its proposal and provide volunteers from all over the city with the tools to organize support in their communities and get that support heard at city hall.
Event: BeautifulCity.ca Town Hall
Location: Toronto City Hall, 100 Queen St. W., Council Chambers
Time: 6:30-9:00pm
Contact: www.beautifulcity.ca or firstname.lastname@example.com
RSVP: Through the Facebook event page (optional but helps organizers plan).


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Legal Resources | | CV 1747.02
Credit Cards
As used in this title (a) "Credit card" means any card, plate, coupon book, or other single credit device existing for the purpose of being used from time to time upon presentation to obtain money, property, labor, or services on credit. "Credit card" does not mean any of the following (1) Any single credit device used to obtain telephone property, labor, or services in any transaction under public utility tariffs.
(2) Any device that may be used to obtain credit pursuant to an electronic fund transfer, but only if the credit is obtained under an agreement between a consumer and a financial institution to extend credit when the consumer's asset account is overdrawn or to maintain a specified minimum balance in the consumer's asset account.
(3) Any key or card key used at an automated dispensing outlet to obtain or purchase petroleum products, as defined in subdivision (c) of Section 13401 of the Business and Professions Code, that will be used primarily for business rather than personal or family purposes.
(b) "Accepted credit card" means any credit card that the cardholder has requested or applied for and received or has signed, or has used, or has authorized another person to use, for the purpose of obtaining money, property, labor, or services on credit. Any credit card issued in renewal of, or in substitution for, an accepted credit card becomes an accepted credit card when received by the cardholder, whether the credit card is issued by the same or a successor card issuer.
(c) "Card issuer" means any person who issues a credit card or the agent of that person for that purpose with respect to the credit card.
(d) "Cardholder" means a natural person to whom a credit card is issued for consumer credit purposes, or a natural person who has agreed with the card issuer to pay consumer credit obligations arising from the issuance of a credit card to another natural person.
For purposes of Sections 1747.05, 1747.10, and 1747.20, the term includes any person to whom a credit card is issued for any purpose, including business, commercial, or agricultural use, or a person who has agreed with the card issuer to pay obligations arising from the issuance of that credit card to another person.
(e) "Retailer" means every person other than a card issuer who furnishes money, goods, services, or anything else of value upon presentation of a credit card by a cardholder. "Retailer" shall not mean the state, a county, city, city and county, or any other public agency.
(f) "Unauthorized use" means the use of a credit card by a person, other than the cardholder, (1) who does not have actual, implied, or apparent authority for that use and (2) from which the cardholder receives no benefit. "Unauthorized use" does not include the use of a credit card by a person who has been given authority by the cardholder to use the credit card. Any attempted termination by the cardholder of the person's authority is ineffective as against the card issuer until the cardholder complies with the procedures required by the card issuer to terminate that authority.
Notwithstanding the above, following the card issuer's receipt of oral or written notice from a cardholder indicating that it wishes to terminate the authority of a previously authorized user of a credit card, the card issuer shall follow its usual procedures for precluding any further use of a credit card by an unauthorized person.
(g) An "inquiry" is a writing that is posted by mail to the address of the card issuer to which payments are normally tendered, unless another address is specifically indicated on the statement for that purpose, then to that other address, and that is received by the card issuer no later than 60 days after the card issuer transmitted the first periodic statement that reflects the alleged billing error, and that does all of the following (1) Sets forth sufficient information to enable the card issuer to identify the cardholder and the account.
(2) Sufficiently identifies the billing error.
(3) Sets forth information providing the basis for the cardholder' s belief that the billing error exists.
(h) A "response" is a writing that is responsive to an inquiry and mailed to the cardholder's address last known to the card issuer.
(i) A "timely response" is a response that is mailed within two complete billing cycles, but in no event later than 90 days, after the card issuer receives an inquiry.
(j) A "billing error" means an error by omission or commission in (1) posting any debit or credit, or (2) in computation or similar error of an accounting nature contained in a statement given to the cardholder by the card issuer. A "billing error" does not mean any dispute with respect to value, quality, or quantity of goods, services, or other benefit obtained through use of a credit card.
(k) "Adequate notice" means a printed notice to a cardholder that sets forth the pertinent facts clearly and conspicuously so that a person against whom it is to operate could reasonably be expected to have noticed it and understood its meaning.
(l) "Secured credit card" means any credit card issued under an agreement or other instrument that pledges, hypothecates, or places a lien on real property or money or other personal property to secure the cardholder's obligations to the card issuer.
(m) "Student credit card" means any credit card that is provided to a student at a public or private college or university and is provided to that student solely based on his or her enrollment in a public or private university, or is provided to a student who would not otherwise qualify for that credit card on the basis of his or her income. A "student credit card" does not include a credit card issued to a student who has a cocardholder or cosigner who would otherwise qualify for a credit card other than a student credit card.
(Amended by Stats. 2001, Ch. 294, Sec. 1.)


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Every day in Afghanistan for the past 15 years
Dejan calls us on Monday. He tells us about the two bombs that exploded near the Ministry of Defence, about the 24 patients who arrived at our hospital, about the 4 people who did not make it.
The next morning, the staff of the Surgical Centre awoke to the windows of the building trembling: another explosion, this time closer. A car bomb hit some government buildings and the office of an NGO, fortunately without casualties.
On the other side of Afghanistan, in Helmand, fighting has become increasingly intense between government forces and the Taliban, especially in the districts of Nawa and Sangin, and others are in the balance.
At least 4 public health centres have been affected during the clashes and closed in the surrounding districts of the province, depriving thousands of people of health care. Equipment and medicine has been stolen from hospitals, and doctors are unwilling to work in the area. Access to care for the population of Helmand, and all over Afghanistan, is getting harder.
In only 2 weeks in the Lashkar-gah Surgical Centre, 216 were injured: the highest number ever.
It's been 15 years, every day, in Afghanistan. And tomorrow? Tomorrow, Emergency staff will work tirelessly to continue providing free care to those who need it.


text: As we ring in the New Year we're all anxious to start that cleanse and hit the gym, but we'd like to take a minute and think about something else this year: Inclusion. The Deaf community is filled with stories of awkward dinners and relatives they can't talk to. This year we want to make […]Readmore


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You say tomahto, I say tomato. You say catsup, I say ketchup. Within the out-for-blood prism of "Mad Men," it all comes down to more whoredom, anyway, and then you die!
Of course, you also get your betrayal, hypocrisy, and misery on the side. Why don't we call the whole thing off? Because with "Mad Men," we always get a little extra sumpin' sumpin' to keep us going. This week was a very cleverly written, nicely shot little tinderbox of an episode full of ripe text and images to chew over for a long, long time. For starters, there is Joe Namath and friends, selling us on all-American napalm!
The title, "To Have and to Hold," (the name of Megan's soap opera) is apt, since it is really a Shakespearean soap opera within a soap opera.
Plus there was a whole tomato subtheme, with the fight for Heinz Ketchup (the condiment of kings), and Scarlett (who wore a scarlet sweater -- if not a letter -- in the office.) And Bert Cooper's gorgeous new office, filled with red Chinoiserie. And Joan (let's call her "Red," as Roger used to) and her friend Kate, painting the town red, if not electric.
And Megan's fantastic metallic dress at dinner with the would-be swingers, her boss and his wife, who reminded me of Jacqueline Susann ("Valley of the Dolls" author ) and her husband.
Plus we got the dawn of Dawn! That one act of Joan handing over the keys to the time clock and the supply closet to Dawn was brilliant -- even if Joan claimed it was a punishment. Because it showed that a) Joan was moving forward, finally, and helping Dawn; and b) when you think about it, that's really all there is in life: the idea of time and how we choose to fill it. (Perhaps it was also a reference to the most important existential text of the twentieth century, "Being and Time," by Martin Heidegger, but I digress.)
But first, let's go back to the last scene from last week, that pathetic visual of Don rolled up in a ball at the door of his apartment. That suggested his act of peeking through the keyhole at his stepuncle's whorehouse as an unwanted child, seeing his pregnant stepmother being taken by the old rooster on the bed. It was a scene so traumatizing and bleak that he's never gotten over it. (And in his own way, he keeps repeating it.)
This week, Don did a lot of spying through doorways, (listening to Peggy's pitch, especially when she repeated his line, "If you don't like the conversation, change it.") He was also closed off in tiny rooms: When Sylvia, (who, as someone on Twitter said, looks just like Betty Rubble) hops on the elevator in her apartment building with Don on it, he locks the doors, and they kiss madly. One of the saddest scenes ever took place in Megan's tiny dressing room. Pete's little bachelor pad was the meeting place for the sordid affair with the ketchup guy.
At the agency, Don's the only one who can get into the secret lockbox of a room where Stan and his beard are cooking up the clandestine recipe for "Project K," the Heinz pitch. In the end, the project was such a disaster, filled with so many burned bridges and betrayals, that they might as well have been creating a bomb.
And by the way, Scarlett, you're fired!
That was a new low for Joan: screaming such a vulgar, Trumpian phrase across the office. But I was thrilled that we got a little window into Joan's life this week. (And that we saw the baby, who looks about 14 months old, although it seems he'd be about four or five by now, doesn't it?)
Joan seems to have survived by making her life very small. Same apartment, same overbearing babysitter (her mom), same office life. Because, despite the partnership, it seems clear that Joan is still fulfilling the role of the office manager -- the same job she did some nine years ago -- and showing a bit of hypocrisy in firing a lively and devoted secretary for stretching the rules.
It was interesting that Joan's friend was selling Mary Kay cosmetics. That business, with its much-mocked pink Cadillacs for high-earning sales reps and managers, is the embodiment of the ironies of the women's movement. To make it in a "man's world" and build a billion-dollar business, the founder had to make it all about extreme femininity and beauty. At the same time, the company provided a gateway for generations of women to enter the workforce and achieve financial independence.
Kate came to town to cheat on her husband and meet with Avon. The whole episode was about cheating, both personally and professionally. And it also suggested that everyone, especially in advertising, is either a pimp or a whore. After Megan's fake love scene on the set, Arlene -- seeing Don standing in the wings -- told Megan, "Your manager is here." (Meaning, your pimp.)
Even given his profound need to compartmentalize, it was hard to believe that Don could keep a straight face while calling Megan a whore for doing a fake sex scene on her soap opera. (He called Betty a whore at the end of their marriage, too.)
Is he playacting, trumping up his own reasons to leave her, working up some righteous indignation as a coward's excuse to let her go? Or is he upset that he thinks she's been playacting for their whole marriage?
Does anyone feel anything genuine for anyone here? Peggy loves Stan, but she betrayed him. And his little moment of flashing her the bird in the bar was exquisite.
Partnerships, marriage -- these things provide no comfort. Nor does religion. Dawn tells her friend she'll never meet a guy at church, because it's "filled with harlots."
But Dawn has the keys to the supply closet, and that's enough to keep me going.
This week, seeking some naughty downtown nightlife, Joan and her friend made a beeline for the Electric Circus, an East Village hot spot in the late 1960s known for its "mindblowing" light and sound shows, and appearances by such groups as The Velvet Underground. Here's an original promo poster via @GlaserArchives.
Yes Barbara, the Dawn of a new story arc! Actually, I'm seeing an interracial romance on the horizon for her - perhaps with Bobby Baby (whose purpose I'm eagerly awaiting to discover). I rolled my eyes at Dickie the Ketchup guy because I can't imagine somewhat who dresses as flashy as him would fit in at Heinz headquarters in blue collar Pittsburgh (the city is still traumatized that Showtimes' "Queer as Folk" was set in the Steel City). Finally, media director Harry Crane's hissy-fit in the boardroom was great and quite appropriate - it's about time he became a squeaky wheel and pointed out to the smug account & creative guys who's generating the agency's revenue (can you tell I'm a fellow media guy?).
@Rob--well put! But he didn't need to be as cruel as he was about Joan. ANd do you really think the check would materialize that fast? (Giving Roger his greatest line almost ever--should we stop the check before he cashes it? And Burt got to say his own version of, "You are no Jack Kennedy" to Harry. Btw, I guess his present salary has allowed Harry to invest in a wardrobe of racetrack jackets!
You have the wrong "Being and" title, putting your existentialism count is off by one. Sartre's "Nothingness" beats Heidegger's "Time."
Thanks for your comment, Steven Cherry. I understand that Sartre wrote "Being and Nothingness."
this straight from Wiki. "Martin Heidegger was a German philosopher known for his existential and phenomenological explorations of the "question of Being". His best known book, Being and Time, is considered one of the most important philosophical works of the 20th century. Wikipedia
@Steven-- or did you mean that sartre's book is the most important? confused!
Far be it for me to question Wikipedia's bona fides as the authoritative source for the history of philosophy, but it's quite a stretch to go from "one of the most important philosophical works of the 20th century" to "the most important existential text of the twentieth century."
@Barbara, yes, that's exactly what I meant. Plus I've always been amused that the two works share 67 percent of their titles.
@Steven-- well, arguing about existentialism and hermeneutics here on Mediapost is a fine thing!
First things first. Media (this usually was presented last in the period covered by the show): Harry was (is) a fraud who (we recall) only succeeded because of Joan. She probably even forgets at this point.
Second. In the NY Times Magazine article featured last season (November 20, 1966), Victor Navasky identified the Carl Ally agency as the existentialist one. Having worked there for 14 years, I can say there were a lot of No Exit moments. But ACH DU LIEBER would be a better title than Sein Und Zeit. Being and Time Sheets also could work.
Third, going back once again, Betty's old roomie became a career hooker and there still is the possibility that Betty's modeling career was actually a call girl career and that is where Don first met her.
Fourth, isn't there a prudish streak in Don? I thought that as he seems almost clueless at times and at other times absurdly squeamish about his wife's acting. Although I have to say that that soap seems a bit ahead of its time.
@Tom-- that's interesting that you call it a prudish streak. Remember when Betty bought a two piece bathing suit and Don didn't want her to wear it? THe double standards and complete disconnect with his own behavior is terrifying.
The Ketchup campaigns?
Peggy's preamble was creditable, I thought.
But Heinz, despite having the largest market share, did very competitive advertising...not defensive as the two agencies presented. Slowest ketchup, I think, was the DDB notion. Demonstrating thickness, which I guess ketchup users find attractive.
Lancer's Rosé with Pork Roast a better culinary touch than the previous episode's branzino.
That you can include existential works in your column is why you are a writer, and I am not. Great column and comments. Do you wonder, as Dawn pointed out, how miserable they all seem to be? I wonder how much Dawn we'll see in future episodes, but she is the outsider, providing observation that I expect will eventually come to pass. Also, what was that place with the phones? That didn't ring a historical bell for me (ha ha ha, ad infinitum).
as an almost senior citizen thanks for the poster. fantastic.
also thank you for the great columns you never cease to write.
but having a back and forth with Tom Messner is truly special. two of the smartest people (you and Tom) talking about a great TV show. Classic!
best, lp
@Larry-- thanks so much, Larry. Yes, Tom is a steel trap with a mind. And a gem. As are all the commenters! .
Barbara + Tom... I am beginning to worry about you two. You are starting to write about Mad Men as if it is real... It's a soap that just happens to be about advertising (less and less so) do not get your knickers in a twist. One day it will end... When it does, I recommend an evening with "Putney Swope." Much more stimulating than Sartre and Heidegger. As for Tom's reference to Lancers Rose, I used to work on that as part of the Heublein account at B&B, when I was a real Mad Man in the sixties. Two Brooklyn guys shipped in tankers of cheap Portuguese wine, pumped a bit of CO2 into it, packaged it in a stone crock, stuck an "Imported" label on it and made millions. Sold it to Heublein and made even more millions. You could really impress chicks with it, 'cos they served in in a champagne bucket... Very posh. Tasted like shit, but hey, you'd already had three Martinis. So!!!
Cheers/George "AdScam" Parker
@George-- Yes, in the early '80s a guy from Texas tried to impress me that his "favortite wahn happens to be Lansher's Van Roshay!"
I was impressed. (not!)
you're right, of course, George, but why deny us our twisted knickers?
My withdrawal from the ad business has brought me down to three fixes. Barbara's Mad Blog, The Mad Men Show, and George Parker's blog, Ad Scam. Of the three, George's coverage of an agency I know nothing about (Draft FCB) with people I don't know run by a holding company I know less about than Sterling Cooper seems less real than the presentation on AMC and the libretto by Barbara Lippert two days later. What is real and what is fake? Downton Abbey and The Borgias may better represent the world of bureaucracies and scratching to get by in a Heraclitian universe. You never step into the same agency twice, the old Greek copywriter said, and his descendant Sartre thought existence preceded essence which kinda meant man was always changing pursuing his soul. His buddy Camus thought that the only question in philosophy was the question of suicide, a true expression of free will. My wife told me today over beers at Zum Schneider on Avenue C during the Bayern Munich versus Barcelona game that I took this show too seriously and that the show runners themselves probably don't remember that Joan carried this Harry guy during his flummoxing about to create a programming department at the agency. I had forgotten that Lancer's was carbonated and on reflection I probably never drank it although someone once told me it went well with Indian food.
Tom... You never fail to deliver, and Barbara is without a doubt the most erudite of ad flaneurs. Regarding Lancers.. It was designated as "Crackling" rather than "Sparkling." This because to two Brooklyn guys put in just enough CO2 to make it fizz when poured into the glass. Within seconds it was flat, but it was enough to impress your dining companion and hopefully lead to exciting things later in the evening.
Wasn't it interesting and poetic that three agencies pitched Dickie for Heinz Ketchup account and in Mad Men style, the one that won was large, well-known JWT's and we didn't see their creative. The other two presentations, including Stan and Don's "Just Heinz" without Ketchup wasn't good, would not have worked, wasn't approved nor creative. "It's only creative it it sells."
In my mind and from my background, I don't think Dickie would have used the hotel room paid by Pete for the other two presentations. But it did represent Dickie's crass behavior. Way to go, Matthew.
Thanks, Larry. Yeah, the affair with Dickie was all around tawdry. Don definitely didn't dance with the one who brung him. Don's campaign seemed more like the 80s, when everyone wanted to have an emotional connection to the brand. Whereas Peggy's actually sold the sauce, but was bold and graphic and more like what would have run at the time.
Still, neither was as good as the actual work from back then.
But it actually was dead on that after all of those secret assignations, Dickie would pick a big, old-timey agency to align with. I guess that's why they named him "Dickie."
Don lost, and lost Peggy, and took out his anger on Megan, whom I'm beginning to like!