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Friday, August 05, 2005
Breaking down How I dealt with Bullies, for my Therapists sake..
Patrick:(circa 1983) This guy was the stereotypical bully, taller than the other kids and wasn't shy about putting you on the business end of his fist. With most Bully's it is understood that if you stay under their radar and give them what they want, you won't get messed with that bad. Not Patrick, that motherfucker used to hit kids in the mouth that obeyed his unreasonable demands. I know that currently I fear no man, but back then Patrick almost made me pee myself when he confronted me on the playground one afternoon.(I'm not going to lie, a few drops of pee DID indeed come out) I knew that fighting him would be a big mistake and I didn't want any parts of Patrick. It got to the point that thinking about ways to avoid him was a constantly in my head. Shit, I used to think about this bastard on the weekends, that's when I knew he had to go. I got my opportunity when Patrick decided that he wanted to bring his dad's gun to school to show some of his buddies. So I did what any self respecting young man would have done, I snitched on his ass. As soon as I told my teacher the principle called his parents, they came and got him, and rumor had it that he was being kicked out of school. As Patrick was sobbingly led away by his parents he turned to all of us and said, "Who told on me? Who's the tattle tale?" I wasn't going to say anything, but I figured "fuck it". So I pointed to myself, gave him a parade-like waive, and gave him the finger. I felt great, until I realized that if I might have screwed myself if somehow Patrick is miraculous let back.
John:(circa 1984) I did a brief stink at a Catholic Elementary school(why do I make it sound like a prison term) where I had a lot of good times. Each day I craved recess because of the monotony of school, a chance to pummel someone at dodge-ball, and seeing girls in their ultra sexy catholic school uniforms.(I know I have always been a perv) There was a older kid named John who used to beat the shit out of my friend Preston on a daily basis. Even though Preston was my boy and I should have had his back, I wasn't going to risk being embarrassed in front of all the plaid skirted girls in close proximity. Each day Preston would come to me, crying, and say "Why didn't you help me??" Like an asshole I would say, "Man, we aren't cool like that, I hardly know you!" Then he would angrily reply, "I have known you since we were three!!(wiping tears)That's messed up." This continued about a month until something terrible happened, John smacked the shit out of me in front of some girls that I liked. To add insult to injury, the girls in question laughed their ass off as if they were being tickled or some shit. I approached Preston and said, (wiping tears) "This motherfucker has to be stopped!" Preston nodded his head in a "Ohh, NOW you want to do something!" look. Preston and I planned a good old fashion "jumping" which took some planning. See good folks, the key to jumping somebody is where everyone beats a persons ass at the same time. The plot usually falls apart when people attack sporadically, giving the recipient of said ass-whipping time to recover. Anyway, Preston, me, a kid named Jesse, Frank, Carlos, and a couple of others ran toward John and proceed in beating the Catholicism out of that motherfucker. All I remember is the sight of plaid green ties flying around as fists of fury were thrown in John's direction. I kind of feel bad about that incident because he went to the hospital for some stitches and we got into a gang of trouble. I can somehow imagine John somewhere now cleaning his shotgun, with my name on his list of people he plans on getting even with.
Reggie:(circa 1991) This guy was like the biggest drug dealer in my High School and everyone was scared of him. He was cool to me, plus he had some pretty good weed so I had no plans of getting on his bad side. That is until I started dating a girl named Keisha. I used to pick her up from school in the mornings on my way to school. As soon as we entered a specific doorway Reggie would be standing there, then he would give her a big hug where keisha would gently try to push him away. When I objected he would brush it off and say, "We are just friends HumanityCritic, take it easy". Well ladies and gentlemen, this shit went on for far too long, like three months too long and I was getting pissed. To make it worse he told one of his friends, in earshot of yours truly that I was a "punk" because I "let him hug up on his girl". I was so pissed that I went to one of my favorite teachers, Mr. Wisman, about the situation and how I wanted to beat the black off of Reggie. He advised me against it and reminded me that if I did fight him that I would be kicked off the track team. Usually I wouldn't have cared about track, but I just qualified for the long jump that year so I wasn't going to fuck that up. A few more days pass of Reggie's bullshit and Track and Field became the furthest thing on my mind. One morning I woke up, put on some sweat pants, some dingy shoes, with the intent of fighting Reggie. I picked up Keisha, and even though I wasn't particularly mad at her I didn't say a word. We walk through the door, and as soon as Reggie attempted to hug Keisha I hit him squarely in the mouth. I grabbed him, threw him against the trophy case and that shit smashes all to hell. He falls to the ground, and as I am giving him more combinations than a bank vault I see Mr. Wisman in the corner of my eye. I expected him to break it up but his cool ass let me whale on Reggie for a few moments. I learned a great lesson that day, It doesn't matter how big and tough you are, there is always somebody to bring the bitch out of you. When I was pulled off of Reggie he was crying like a child without his pacifier, it was sad. The good thing was that I didn't get thrown off the track team, I was only suspended for a few days, and Reggie stopped roaming that doorway when Keisha and I entered it.
Warren:(circa 2001) One thing I hate is a man that puts his hands on a woman, they should all be given the most extreme punishment available. Granted, there is nothing like a little light spanking, or the use of a paddle, or restraints, but that is in the bedroom and always consensual. But, I was kind of fond of a woman named Renee who used to work with a few years back. I was fond of her because she was a truly amazing person, and the conversations we had were definitely enjoyable. She is the first woman that I actually didn't mind being platonic friends with.(But, if she gave me the sign I would "knock those boots from here to Albuquerque" to steal a Ice Cube line) As we got to know each other she told me that her boyfriend warren "gets rough" with her sometimes. I was disgusted when I heard this, but I didn't want to get involved in anyone's domestic issues so I felt that my hands were tied. Then a few times she would come to work with black eyes and a swollen lip, and as much as we urged her to leave him she always expressed her love for him and say "He was having a bad day". This one day when I was walking into work, Renee and Warren were arguing in the parking lot, then Warren raised his hand to her in a threatening motion. I rushed over and said, "What's going on here??" Warren said, "This is a personal matter motherfucker, get out of here!" Then, amazingly, I guess to play it off Renee said "Yeah, get the fuck out of here asshole!" I figured that if she wanted to continue to get her ass beat then fine, fuck her then. The moment of truth came a month later when Warren was actually beating her in the parking lot like a man. I rushed over, not knowing what to do for fear of Renee not wanting me to get involved, and saw Renee mouth the words "Help me" in my direction. Shit, that's all I needed. I tackled Warren like that Office linebacker you see in those commercials, and commenced in beating that guy as if I was "coming back like I'm revenging my brothers death."(from Kool G Rap's verse in "The Symphony") I give to Warren though, he sure could take an ass-beating, a talent that not too many folks have nowadays. When the cops came I could see that Renee wanted to make excuses for warren, but she was truthful and told the cops really what happened. She finally left and I am extremely proud of her for that, since I know she reads this and its the truth.
44 comments:
Did you just say that yall beat the "catholicism out of him"?? That's messed up, but funny as shit LOL
- FantasyFootballGuru said...
I am with you about the bully thing, I despised them growing up.
- I am Jack said...
Too funny dude-had me cracking the fuck up over here.
- shinjyo said...
Honesty I was the Bully in my school. I know its messed up but I regret it, that counts right?
- CaffeineDiva said...
That is some funny shit!
Someone attempted to bully me once, it didn't work. We fought, we got in trouble, we moved on.
I always looked like the nice girl in school, so folks wanted to test me. After that one chick, people left me alone. Usually I was friends with whatever bully was roaming around at the time.
- CaffeineDiva said...
However... if your therapist calls you an asshole, you really might have insurmountable issues!!
I despise any type of bully, even today bro.
- Bec said...
That is a great piece of writing and I don't think your therapist should have called you a asshole LOL
- Amadeo said...
Because I was the Chubby smart kid without cool clothes I was a bully magnet...The thing they didn't know was I broke easily and I really didn't like unfairness...it's sucks to be a bully and get your ass whipped by a crying chubby kid.
- ManNMotion said...
One of the few women that trains with us said one day that women who get beaten by their boyfriends more than once deserve what they are getting because they won't leave and she won't do a thing to help them. I never thought I'd hear a woman say such a thing.
Personally, I'm surprised Renee left, and I was hoping you didn't jump in just for her to stay with the guy. I've learned from experience that they usually go right back. I hope she's dealt with whatever it was about her that got her into that situation, and I hope it hasn't left any scars that she'll bring into another relationship.
- Msnhim said...
Funny.....as usual! Good Post
- SMW said...
I was bullied in 3rd grade. Some girls invited me into the bathroom for an ass whoopin...I RAN MY ASS HOME! I ain't dumb!
After that they never messed with me again. I was always nice to everyone.
@ man-n-motion- Ofcourse the woman in question will have scars that will follow her into the next relationship. She obviously had scars BEFORE she got into that relationship.
Women who are abused don't DESERVE the abuse, but they believe they do. It's sad, but they (I mean, we) feel like if we could only IMPROVE and stop making them so angry, then things would be better.
Sad, but true. We spend so much time trying to be better for them and they hate us more and more for trying and (I believe) for being weak. The cycle never ends. We try harder, they beat us down more...
- Girl With An Alibi said...
Several women in my family have been abused so my mother taught me never to stand for it. Unfortunately she never taught me about emotional and psychological abuse. I had to learn that lesson on my own. My daughters and sons will benefit.
ya know something..i once was orderd to go to a therapist and that fucker helped me accomplish nothing...thank god i didn't have to pay with my own or i really woulda fucked her up...
as for bullies...i used to be afraid of a few people when i was younger until....i beat the shyt out of one of them..and none of them fucked with me...
no fighting now..just middle fingers to all that piss me the fuck off...lol
- Jdid said...
dude with all of this blogging why are you wasting time on a therapist?
- brooklyn babe said...
Man you just took me back to "Big Titty Betty..." circa 1986, you know when everyone is around your height, but that one person in the class, is bigger, so she's badder.
And she whipped male and female asses both. I had the pleasure of sitting next to her one year. I got props, cause she didn't phuck with me. I think she thought I was slow....lol. Yeah slow to get my ass beat. The teacher liked it, cause I would finally shut up. But all that pent up agression from me not being able to get my "yak" on in school, had me coming home and being the biggest bully on my block. I only beat the boys asses tho'...lol Thanks for sharing!
- Miranda said...
There are some therapists that just shouldnt be therapists.
Thanks for dropping by my blog, neat blog, Im going to book mark you for later.
- Tazzee said...
great post. I too hate bullies. I used to get jumped in school, quite often - those heffas never did try me one on one. Until one day these 2 older girls suggested that one chick and I take it to the bathroom and settle it one on one. I scared myself I beat her so bad - and the 'cool' kids left me alone after that.
- Inside Man said...
Getting smacked in front of some girls you like will bring the apache out of you. Why do girls laugh when a dude gets punked anyway?
- DJ Diva said...
I think your therapist is an asshole...U wasting your money dude...
- Maglet said...
I, too, think your therapist is a little "off". I knew a couple bullies in my time and even though they were scary (hahaha!), I always felt sorry for them before I was fearful.
I haven't read a bad entry from you yet--you may be an asshole, but you're funny...
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- Reese The Law Girl said...
I'm confused- seems to me that these were all worthwhile fights. Of course you risk getting shot by someone eventually, but what else are you supposed to do? Be a punk?
Man, your therapist doesn't know anything.
Oh, and yes, I am the little devil on your shoulder that tells you to do these things. So, actually, I may not be the best source to give advice. ;)
- Friends of McDougal said...
so ... this is like a combination of exhibitionist therapy and fiction, or what?
Ahh, fuck. Nevermind.
I just described every blog on the Internet.
Kick ass, Thundar. Seriously.
fuck a bunch of bullies.
- MissHarwood said...
I hate bullies, they need the crap beaten out of them!
- piranha said...
I d prefer a therapist who calls me an asshole over a therapist who treats me like a retard.
as i used to be tomboy back in the days i was involved in some fights against bullies who teased, tortured or mocked my friends. the best solution to escape serious trouble was to climb a tree because for some reason they didnt dare to follow. lol.
but beating a woman is really the next worse thing to raping. my brother once hit me hard in anger and we both felt that this was more than the average bro sis beating each other up shit. it was with a violent intention and all I could do was stare at him and say nothing. i saw in his eyes that he felt the same but still i was surprised that in the evening he had bought me a real bouquet (which is very absurd because our family is not a bouquet buyer fam) as an excuse.
i don t think he ll ever do that again.
- coley said...
GOT DAYUM BLOGLINES!!!! Oh hey HC don't mind me... I'm just going O-F-F on bloglines for not working right and for failing to advise me of your most recent post!!! So now I gotta be the 9,876th commenter!!!! I wanted to be in the top 10 dammit! LOL!
Great post! I'm cracking up at those pictures you found to go with the post! Oh and NO I don't think it's customary for your therapist eerrrrr ummm yo friend to call you an asshole! LOL!
Good for you for beating Warren's ass!!! Having been a victim of D.V. myself... (several years ago when I had really low self esteem) I don't have any tolerance for that punk ass behavior.! And good for your friend for gaining enough confidence to leave his ass! I don't know why it takes some of us so long to realize our self worth!!!! I've since learned that people treat you the way you allow them to!!
Have a GREAT weekend!!!
- princessdominique said...
You bring it every single time!
- Adam E. Robinson said...
I only had to deal with a bully once - and after that incident, nobody every fucked with me again. This little bastard hit me on the side of my head, so I slammed his head into his locker about twenty times. Needless to say, I was suspended from school; but oh my, did I ever enjoy those days off!
- Courtney said...
You are incredible.
Added you on my list,
hope you don't mind.
- Fran said...
Well to be honest, I believe all those bullies deserved what they got!!! *scowl* Maybe it taught them a lesson..hmph, I hope.
I really missed reading your posts! *xoxo*
Your blog is the funniest blog ever, keep it up..
- I am Jack said...
I once had a bully...once..lol
Bully's ran rampant in my hood, you really had to watch you back man..
- kev fan said...
LOL Great writing, just awesome.
- sherry said...
The only time I had a bully was my older brother but that stopped when I smacked the shit out of him.
- moevaL said...
I agree with the above poster, all those bullies deserved what they got.
- BlueAngel said...
Great post HC.
There's this girl from 3rd grade who I want to still beat up...lol.
There's also this knuckleheaded guy I'd like to punch in the lip (we got into a fight on the school bus).
I'm sure that boy is probably dead or locked up.
As for that heffra from 3rd grade...she probably has a million kids.
- STYLE+GRACE said...
LMAO @ the story with preston...i think everybody had 1 preston that they knew coming up at some point.
man this post reminded me of the old days...i was a ignant lil kid...i was a bit of a tomboy and i used to crack on kids so bad that they would go home cryin...i dont even know y i cracked on them...i guess i was bored...it was weird i was smart gifted classes but i was bullying kids...i was a goody goody nerd in the site of the teacher but out of view i was a terror...i will never forget in grade school we (me and 2 other girls) jumped this white girl cause she always had smart comments and she always used to stink...and i will never forget one of the girls that helped jump her pulled that girls hair and she had some green jello lookin stuff in her scalp...we called her jello jiggler from that day on. im sure she hates me to this day.
i think ur shrink was trying to get a reaction out of u to see wot the key to ur rage was...their cunning. Wen uv bin seeing a councillor a few years u wise up to their techniques next shell be tryna pop pills down ya neck!
I hate bullying it is not funny its disgusting and unless uv had it done to u urself u cant imagine wot its lyk.
- Kevin said...
Bullies piss me off to no end.
When I lived in Connecticut, I was in fights literally every other day because A) I was an outsider, and B) I was the tallest kid in a K-6 school when I was only in 4th grade.
Damn, now I want to post about this.
- Kathryn said...
Bullies are infused with with some kid of demon. I was the victim of one or two.
I think your therapist is an asshole....who tells people that?
- PINKSandROSES said...
haha you know what's sad, growing up i was the bully...


text:
Dr. Michael Osterholm '75
Greenwood, Minnesota
As a Luther student in the 1970s, Mike Osterholm was an adventurous sort, scuba diving in the underwater caves of Northeast Iowa. Mike and his friends plunged under cliffs and sumps, and swam through murky tunnels to emerge in caverns filled with stalactites and stalagmites. "Some of those spots were so tight," he says, "you'd breathe in and get stuck, then breathe out and push yourself forward."

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Baltimore also won, so our lead remains at 11.5 games. New York was swept by the Angels and is 12.5 games off the pace -- and only one game ahead of the cellar-dwelling Devil Rays.
Julian Tavarez (5.27, 84 ERA+) / Kameron Loe (6.38, 71 ERA+)
Lineup (with EQA and EQA rank on team):
Ortiz -- out today with "barking" hamstrings and the lingering effects of a cold -- is 1st at .332.Lugo, SS .236 9th
Crisp, CF .231 11th
Youkilis, 1B .323 2nd
Ramirez, LF .270 5th
Drew, RF .238 10th
Lowell, 3B .309 3rd
Varitek, C .274 4th
Hinske, DH .227 12th
Pedroia, 2B .253 7th
Sexy Lips's last two starts (against the Tigers and Yankees) have produced these totals: 12.2 IP, 7 hits, 3 runs, 8 walks and 5 strikeouts. Very nice, except for the walks. He has lowered his season ERA by almost 2.5 runs since the end of April.
Loe gave up one run on two hits in .1 IP out to Boston (16 pitches) back on April 7.
Meanwhile, way back somewhere in our dust cloud: The fourth-place Yankees (a mere 1.5 GA of the cellar) try to avoid the Angels' broom at 1 PM (Lackey/Mussina).
The second-place Blue Jays visit the Twins (Burnett/Silva) at 2 PM.


text:
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Sponsored by Track and Field (women)
Recap: Tricia Serres set a school record in the 1500. Serres and Taylor Berg from University of St. Thomas gave the fans and 200-plus athletes in attendance a great show as the two top runners in the country in this event needed a photo finish to decide the winner. Berg crossed the line in 4:32.68, while Serres was clocked at 4:32.86. Serres broke the old mark held by Johanna Olson of 4:36.25 set in 2001.
Maggie Pierson also posted a top-10 finish in this event finishing tenth with a time of 4:46.16.
Jayne Cole posted a Luther top-10 mark in the 5,000. Cole finished fifth from the field of 59 runners with a time of 17:47.93 that ranks eighth all-time.
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Watched Trick 'R Treat (definitely one of my favorite Halloween movies) and the original Nightmare on Elm Street over the weekend. Good, spooky fun!!
Watched Trick 'R Treat (definitely one of my favorite Halloween movies) and the original Nightmare on Elm Street over the weekend. Good, spooky fun!!
Dark Shadows: It was an okay Tim Burton. Nice cameo of Alice Cooper and had some funny moments in it.
Trick R Treat: One of the best horror movies in recent memory and a definite blu-ray buy for horror fans.
Gremlins 2: Underrated sequel to a horror-fantasy classic and one of my fave sequels ever. I saw this in theaters 4 times when i was a kid and loved it as much as the original masterpiece, this one has Cabin in the Woods style humor to it and self-parody. Christopher Lee with Robert Picardo, Zach Gallagan, Pheoebe Cates (What a hottie she is) and John Glover (aka Riddler) did nice performances in the film with unique make-up/animatronics by Rick Baker which still rocks as Gizmo is more believable in this movie than the first, it's almost better than those crappy Gremlin cash-in films like Ghoulies, Munchies, Kamillions, Elves, Hobgoblins etc. but there are some exceptional Gremlin cash-in little killer movies like Critters 1 & 2, Spookies, Dolls, Child's Play, Cat's Eye, Puppet Master, The Gate etc. to guilty pleasures i liked such as Troll and Evil Toons (Loved the girls in that movie).
Making Contact (aka Joey): Now who remembers this movie? i did when it got released here in the states in theaters and i saw it in one of my former city's theaters when i was 5 and it scared the hell out of me especially with that creepy ventriloquist dummy. This one is directed by Roland Emmerich and one of his early films as it has a small cult following, it's a fun and dark supernatural horror fantasy in the Spielberg/Miyazaki tradition and that Dummy with Fats from Magic creeped me out. Both versions are enjoyable but the German cut with the alternate music score in subtitles is far better, one of my fave horror/fantasy films.
Cat's Eye: 80s cult anthology fave i always liked since i was 4 as it's one of my favorite horror anthology movies ever, Stephen King wrote the screenplay to it and the last story is definitely the best one as it has a Gremlins feel to it with a creepy little troll. James Woods does an terrific performance in this movie as the smoker who is trying to quit.
The Wolf Man on Universal monsters blu-ray set: One of the first horror movies that got me into the genre when i was little and this is an all time cinematic horror classic, Lou Chaney Jr. is awesome in it.
Perfect Blue: Awesome Japanese animated psychological horror movie about a pop singer who feels being stalked and driven by madness, very similar to the recent Black Swan but more in the Argento tradition. This is definitely no kiddie cartoon but a unique, bloody and adult animated movie that amazes the mind and scares you.
House of 1000 Corpses: Fun and gory tribute to 70s/early 80s grindhouse cinema from Rob Zombie with Bill Moseley, Sherri Moon Zombie, Karen Black and more, quite underrated.
The Devil's Rejects: A modern cult classic and a gritty tribute to the shockers of yesterday like Last House on The Left, Maniac, Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer etc. with a solid cast, nice gore and memorable quotes, a sequel that surpasses the first.
Last edited by Thatman; October 9, 2012 at 09:38am. Reason: youtube link
"You killed Captain Clown, YOU KILLED CAPTAIN CLOWN"-Joker.
Planet of the Vampires... Couldn't be a more obvious influence for ALIEN
I survived the 2013 sub ordeal!
"We achieved the impossible, and that makes us MIGHTY" (Mal Reynolds, captain of Serenity)
The Little Shop of Horrors (1986) on blu-ray: Excellent musical sci-fi horror comedy i always loved since i saw it in theaters when i was a kid 4 times and had a few of the merchandise, the director's cut is quite nice yet dark and there's the theatrical cut with the happy ending, this one is tons of fun and a solid cast with Frank Oz as director.
Halloween 5 on blu-ray: Very weak 5th entry of the saga that feels like the series is nearly running out of steam but nice kills though, i also saw this in theaters as a kid.
Tales from The Crypt (1972): One of the first horror movies i loved when i was 4 as it was one of those that me hooked into the genre when my brother rented it on video and loved it, it with Creepshow made me an anthology fan and i bought reprints of the comics in the 80s/early 90s as a kid on EC's horror library and watched the TV show later on HBO. Check out this one if you love the show and comics with horror anthologies, a nice British import.
The Great Mouse Detective on blu-ray: It looks and sounds nice in high def, one of my all time fave disney movies! i saw this movie in theaters when i was a kid 4 times and had merchandise to even seeing Dawson and Basil at Disneyland that summer, i even thought the mouse dancer was hot, LOL. A must see movie.
"You killed Captain Clown, YOU KILLED CAPTAIN CLOWN"-Joker.
Watched Moonraker. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, that's all I'm going to say.
Can someone PM me the US number for Matty? I want to talk to someone who might has a clue of what is going on.
Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
Last night I watched Halloween and John Carpenter's The Thing. Two classics back to back!
Transformers the movie(1986) I came across it on YouTube and remembered how awesome this movie is.
"These are the days of high adventure"
Troll Hunter - a really entertaining found footage movie that unlike most of the others of it's type is not afraid to show the actual creatures in full detail
Last edited by HarryCanyon; October 11, 2012 at 01:04pm.
"You killed Captain Clown, YOU KILLED CAPTAIN CLOWN"-Joker.
What about Cannibal Holocaust? Never seen it and considering they actually killed animals in the making of that movie I refuse to watch it on principal
Well wolf, you'd be happy to know the Cannibal Holocaust DVD comes with an animal cruelty free version that cuts out that stuff which is a good thing which is Deoato's prefered cut as he regret doing that long ago. I did saw CH in it's 2000 theatrical re-issue to see the film that inspired Blair Witch and MY GOD it shocked me big time and made me sick with the scenes of animals like a large turtle getting beheaded then flayed to be cooked to a muskrat getting gutted alive as it screams, i felt like taking a shower after i found out they were actually killed. I'm no animal rights activist or vegetarian but killing animals on film for real for the sake of entertainment is just plain wrong, i'm so glad the 2-disc DVD contains an animal cruelty free cut so it can be viewed in it's proper way without having to see the animal stuff.
What i saw yesterday with more Halloween viewing:
The Invisible Man (1931) on Blu-ray: A cinematic sci-fi horror classic, loved it since i was a kid.
Psycho IV The Beginning: Enjoyable prequel to the saga with Anthony Perkins who just got rehabbed again and tells his story on the radio of what made him like he was. Better than the crappy 1998 duplicate remake.
Twilight Zone The Movie on blu-ray: One of my childhood fave horror/fantasy movies and one of the best anthologies ever, a nice adaptation of the beloved TV show with a solid cast and great effects by Rob Bottin.
Silver Bullet: Quality werewolf movie from Stephen King, saw this 2 times in theaters when i was 4.
Prometheus on blu-ray: One of the most underrated movies of the year! a very nice and dark prequel to Alien and i saw this 3 times in theaters.
E.T. on blu-ray: A cinematic masterpiece now looking and sounding better than ever with the magic of high definition, Spielberg's movies now look good as ever. My bigger brother did saw this movie when it first came out in 82 when he was 9 and i was only a baby, i did saw the 85 re-issue in theaters about 4 times and had some merchandise like coloring books, Mcdonalds posters from happy meals and ate the cereal as it was delicious, glad it came out on video 2 years later as i got it as a Christmas gift.
"You killed Captain Clown, YOU KILLED CAPTAIN CLOWN"-Joker.
I watched Resident Evil: Extinction last night. That series is definitely one of my guilty pleasures!
Harry, I'm not an ET fan by any stretch of the imagination but I am curious: Does the Blu-ray release have the guns replaced with walkie talkies like in that one rerelease version they did?
It is not just about me not wanting to see animals get killed (tho that is part of it) it is the fact they did it that makes that movie a no-watch for me
Just saw "The Campaign" finally. Funniest movie I have seen in a while.
Starship Troopers: I rewatched it to see if this theatrical fliop (it barely paid for itself) which spawned some direct to DVD sequels was really that bad. Honestly, it wasn't. It had a good looking, fairly talented cast (fans of Neil Patrick Harris, Dina Meyer, the real babe of the 1990s, and hunky Casper Van Dien/Patrick Muldoon), the special effects/creature effects were great, and the campy approach to military propaganda was well handed. Honestly, I love this movie and though I have not seen it for a decade, it was still enjoyable. In some ways I feel this movie was actually ahead of itself, and I have no idea why it failed. It is surprisingly better than I remembered.
I Come In Peace A low (really low) budget sci-fi action flick which seems to be inspired by a few movies, starring hunky, beautiful, Dolph Lundgren (our own 87 He-Man) the king of cheesy action movies. The music in this movie is really dated, and there isn't much going on beyond your typical good guy vs murderous alien from space. If you are a fan of Dolph, and 1990s cop/sci-fi movies, you might find some saving graces in this, but honestly, I only watched it for Dolph. Its got its charms, but its really, really dated. You might look at CDs differently after seeing this film.
Ghostbusters II: Not much to say about this nerd boy staple that hasn't already been said. Its not a bad film, and was a decent sequel to what has become an iconic 80s movie. In some ways it is superior to the first film, and in others it lacks.
Last edited by Sky Breaker; October 12, 2012 at 02:12pm.
Saw Cabin in the Woods earlier this week. It was definitely an interesting premise. I felt the ending was different too.
Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.--Optimus Prime ROTF
Cabin in the Woods was fantastic. I saw that its opening weekend!
Last night we watched Hocus Pocus.
Ethan Hawke plays a famous true crime novelist, known for uncovering things the police missed. To research his next book, he moves into the home of a murdered family and doesn't bother telling his own family about it. The first night he hears foot steps in the attic. What he finds upstairs is a box of old 8mm tapes, each one a different massacre of a family.He starts to look into them and finds patterns and connections, but the strange things in the house get more frequent.
It was really well made. Great horror score, never noticed this before in other horror films. But the flaw is the villain and demon in the movie isn't involved enough. It has a passive role at the end and I suppose that's part of the twist.
I'd still see it since most of it is good, either at home or in theatres. Nice cameo by Fred Thompson.
For Your Eyes Only - A little slow moving, but a pretty enjoyable movie despite some corny moments. However, Moore is showing his age and the girl that is hitting on him just crawls onto the levels of creepy. The opening confrontation with Blofeld is cool though and feels far more climatic (even if it is corny) than it had in Diamonds Are Forever. The acting on Mileena is down right awful though. She has about as much range of emotion as Kirsten Stewart, and that takes A LOT of effort.
Can someone PM me the US number for Matty? I want to talk to someone who might has a clue of what is going on.
Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.


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"… The Hussars let loose their horses. God, what power! They ran through the smoke and the sound was like a thousand blacksmiths beating with a thousand hammers."
— Henry Sienkievich, describing
a 17th-century battle between
Polish Hussars and invading Swedish forces
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Weatherholt Caps Career as NCAA Runner-up
Urbana, Ill. - Mary Weatherholt rewrote Nebraska women's tennis history, closing her storied career as the 2013 NCAA Singles runner-up on Monday at the Khan Outdoor Tennis Complex.
Weatherholt, a fifth-year senior from Prairie Village, Kan., went out with a 6-2, 6-4 loss to defending NCAA champion Nicole Gibbs. The junior from Stanford, who earned her second straight NCAA singles title, handed Weatherholt just her second loss of the season.
Although Weatherholt's season ended with a loss, she will be remembered as the greatest tennis player in Nebraska history and one of the finest student-athletes the school has ever produced.
Weatherholt, who went 5-1 at the NCAA Singles Championships, finished with a 30-2 singles record as a senior, while amassing a school-record 123 career singles victories.
As a senior, Weatherholt totaled a 52-5 combined mark in singles and doubles, becoming the first Husker in history to earn All-America honors in singles. She teamed with fellow senior Patricia Veresova to advance to the NCAA Doubles quarterfinals, earning All-America honors on the doubles court as well.
Weatherholt closed her storybook career with a school-record 208 combined victories. She swung her way to a second-place NCAA finish in singles, while joining Veresova in the NCAA Elite Eight. She also led Nebraska to its first-ever appearance at the 16-team NCAA Team Championships, after claiming a share of the Big Ten regular-season title.
The two-time Big Ten Women's Tennis Athlete of the Year, Weatherholt was also the 2013 Nebraska Female Student-Athlete of the Year across all sports. She also claimed one of the nation's top honors from the ITA as the Cissie Leary Award for Sportsmanship winner in 2013.
Weatherholt at NCAA Singles Championship
2013 NCAA Runner-Up (5-1)
First Round (May 22)
#11 Mary Weatherholt (NEB) def. #38 Aleksandra Josifoska (UNLV), 6-4, 6-4
Second Round (May 23)
#11 Mary Weatherholt (NEB) def. #43 Klara Fabikova (Cal), 6-2, 6-1
Third Round (May 24)
#11 Mary Weatherholt (NEB) def. #3 Robin Anderson (UCLA), 6-7 (4), 6-0, 6-0
Quarterfinals (May 25)
#11 Mary Weatherholt (NEB) def. #6 Lauren Henning (Georgia), 6-2, 6-2
Semifinals (May 26)
#11 Mary Weatherholt (NEB) def. Alexa Guarachi (Alabama), 6-0, 6-3
Championship Match (May 27)
#13 Nicole Gibbs (Stanford) def. #11 Mary Weatherholt (NEB), 6-2, 6-4


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[Alt: What'll I say -- "I was staring at some cat vomit when I got the news?"]
#1a: Choose a depressing topic! In this case, it's the loss of a loved one! What could be funnier?
#1b: If you are feeling particularly bitter, schedule your comic about the sudden loss of a loved one to run on September 11th. This is key.
#2. Put the funniest part of your comic at the very beginning, so people know from the top that it's going to be a wild ride! In this case, it's "cat vomit" and we're laughing already by the end of sentence one!
#3. Put one of the two main characters off screen. That way you don't have to draw him! Will people think it is weird? WHO CARES?
#4. Make your comic an old observation about one of life's tragedies, one which has already been made fun of in identical ways on the Simpsons, Arrested Development, and others!
#5. Have the "serious line" in your comic - in this case, the one he wants to use as his "meaningful" last words - be awkward and stilted. This is key.
There you have it! Just follow these five easy steps and two relatively simple substeps and you too will be comicking with the best of them!


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The free flight lasted about a minute — including a 50-degree nose dive, a pull-up maneuver to steady the vehicle for landing and a successful glide landing that was all guided only by the spacecraft's computer systems.
The anomaly occurred within the final 15 to 20 seconds when the landing gear on one side, which was refurbished for the test flight from a heritage F-5 fighter jet, malfunctioned.
Mark Sirangelo, CEO of Sierra Nevada Corp. Space Systems, said the vehicle skidded off the runway but landed upright. None of the interior or critical systems were damaged, and Sirangelo said the damage to the body could be repaired.
Louisville-based SNC Space Systems designed and built the prototype as a part of NASA's Commercial Crew Integrated Capability Program — known as CCiCap — which works with the U.S. private sector to create the next generation of spacecraft for ferrying astronauts to the International Space Station.
Dream Chaser looks like a smaller version of the space shuttle, while its two remaining competitors are designing more traditional crew capsules.
Surprisingly, Sirangelo said, the free-flight test may have expedited the timeline. The test may have offered enough data that a second free-flight test won't be necessary.
"The purpose (of this test) was to make sure that it could actually fly," Sirangelo said. "If we got all the flight data we needed, we may be able to bring the vehicle back to headquarters (in Colorado) earlier to prepare it for the next step."
The F-5 landing gear is not what SNC plans to use on the orbital vehicle, which is in production. SNC expects to do its first piloted test in early 2014 and its first orbital mission in 2016. The company hopes to have Dream Chaser ready for its first crewed mission in 2017.
"It is certainly lamentable, the 99 percent of this test — where we wanted to see if it could fly — was successful," Sirangelo said."It was a very good day marred by a very small glitch at the end of the day."
SNC has received at least $337 million in awards from NASA to continue developing the spacecraft. The company receives payment after the completion of each milestone. It is unclear whether NASA will consider this the completion of its most recent milestone, which was about the collection of flight data.
Kristen Leigh Painter: 303-954-1638, firstname.lastname@example.com or twitter.com/kristenpainter


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MONTREAL — It's not that often newspapers get a chance to blow their own horns these days.
But The CJN can.
Veteran CJN French-language staff writer Elias Levy has authored Comprendre Israël, the latest in a popular series of 126-page guidebooks released by Quebec-based Ulysse Inc., one of the best-known publishers of travel guides used in the French-speaking world.
Other countries in the Comprendre series include China, Cuba, Japan, Thailand, South Africa, Brazil, and of course the province of Quebec.
Ulysse released the book in September, and it's being very positively received and selling well in French-speaking nations such as France, Belgium and Switzerland.
It's also drawing attention on the World Wide Web and in Quebec, where it has been on prominent display in bookstores such as Olivieri and Renaud-Bray. As well, the book is available on major online sites, including Amazon, and as an e-book.
That suits the author fine. Levy noted in an interview that Comprendre Israël marks "the first time" a francophone Quebec publisher has released a book depicting Israel as being not just about politics, Palestinians or the peace process – although these topics are addressed in detail by Levy – but as a diverse, dynamic and pluralistic democracy rich in culture, history, creativity and, above all, overflowing with talent.
"It is one of the main reasons I was motivated to write this book," Levy said. "I was given carte blanche, which is why I accepted.
"Among average Quebecers and within many academic, cultural, political and journalistic circles, there is a profound lack of understanding, a great ignorance, about what Israel is all about.
"Israel is not just a country about a conflict. It is also about literature, and the arts, and about a 'start-up nation,' one of the leading nations in the world in developing high-tech industry.
"This in a country that did not even have television until 1968. It is an economy built by the people of Israel.
"Too many people – including many important Quebecers – simply do not know about these things."
Levy spent more than a year researching and working on Comprendre Israël, producing a book that is remarkably comprehensive for its slight size. It's partly a guidebook, but also a detailed primer on all things related to Israel.
The first chapter, for example, devotes itself to "History and Israeli Civilization" and is divided into main categories – history, religion, geography and culture – and subdivided again within each. This chapter discusses the history of Zionism, the Israeli-Arab wars and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
The second chapter, "Daily Life in Israel," addresses the Israeli political system, the kibbutz, the Israel Defence Forces, national languages, education, Israel's important francophone component, communications, transportation, health care and sports.
In the next chapter, about "Israeli Society in the 21st Century," the focus is on the multi-ethnic character of Israel, Jewish holidays and rituals, Arab-Jewish relations, immigration, levels of Jewish religiosity, the treatment of gays, feminism, and Israeli cuisine and wines.
In the fourth (and last) chapter, Levy, a graduate of the Hautes Études Commerciales (HEC) business school, addresses the subject he is most knowledgeable about, namely the Israeli economy and its business climate.
It's the chapter that shows Israel in all its high-tech and entrepreneurial glory.
"It is the first chapter I wrote, because it was the easiest one," Levy said. "The history, the politics, the conflict – for me that that was more difficult, and I saved that for last. I am no 'expert' on Israel, and I was careful in every chapter to cite source material and to add a very useful bibliography that readers can use later to further their knowledge."
Because of its anticipated francophone Quebec readership, the book includes sections on the important francophone presence in Israel – comprising some 20 per cent of its population – as well as its continuing "conspicuous absence" from the group of Francophonie nations.
Levy also addresses many "common points of interest" between Quebec and Israel. These include "ententes" signed between them, as well as Israel's very successful system of integrating immigrants from dozens of countries, which could serve as a model for the Quebec.
Quebec and Israel also were a common presence at the 2008 Salon du Livre de Paris, which attracted many of Israel's most illustrious literary figures.


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Quincy Community Redevelopment Agency director Charles Hayes said the CRA Board, which is made up of the members of the Quincy City Commission, put the skids on spending for entertainment until the new fiscal year begins Oct. 1.
Music on the Square had been planned for July 13 but was called off last week without notice because Hayes was out of town attending the National CRA Conference.
"There was some general discussion during the CRA July 16 meeting centered around the loss of money on some musical events so it was decided that we would wait until October to start up again," Hayes said.
He said that throughout his year some of the Courthouse music concerts have been postponed or called off simply because of conflicts with other city sponsored or planned events.
The CRA Board wants to also wait until the 2013 budget workshops have been held Hayes said.
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VOORHEES, N.J. — This captaincy conspiracy was such a well-kept secret, even the principals seem confused.
Claude Giroux, everyone knew for months, was going to be the Flyers' captain if the NHL and its players union ever decided to play board-room ball instead of lockout hockey.
And just because that announcement got caught up in a marketing department game of give and take when it came to when an announcement could come and which corporate parent website would be the first lucky presenters, it didn't change anything.
"I've known for a couple of days," Giroux said Wednesday. "Obviously, it's a good feeling. I had a couple of talks with Paul Holmgren, him and (coach Peter Laviolette), and I just thought it was a great honor when they told me."
Asked why he was asked by them to not tell what he knew for a few days, the new team captain mustered,"I don't know."
Giroux's honesty already is setting him apart. But he could have been just as honest if he proclaimed to not know of Plan B, which is this new captaincy comes with a caveat: Giroux had to be surrounded by as many elder helpers as possible.
So along with the Flyers' bobbled announcement Tuesday night came the surprising news that for the first time in these parts there would be an associate captain, Kimmo Timonen, apparently serving his young master while overseeing two regular alternate captains, Danny Briere and Scott Hartnell.
"As a 'C' or an 'A' you have to go on the ice and play your best, and I think if you play well on the ice, that's a pretty good start," Giroux said. "I care. I want to win and I want to do the right thing. Whatever I have to do, I'm up for the challenge. I'm not here by myself. I have a lot of veterans behind me; Danny and Kimmo and Hartsy...obviously I'm going to feel more comfortable. So may I have the 'C' on my jersey but it doesn't mean I'm the only leader here."
Not with the guy with the "AC" right behind him. But you might wonder that at about two months shy of his 38th birthday whether Timonen's batteries are recharged enough for a 48 games in 99 days grind.
"Yeah, I feel good," said Timonen, who is coming off a spring back surgery and long rehab, thanks to the lockout.
While the physical challenge he faces might be daunting, Timonen is also going to have another challenge — showing people exactly what an "associate captain" might be.
"Maybe I'm (Giroux's) right-hand man," Timonen said. "If he needs groceries, I can go pick them up."
More likely is Timonen will do what he has always done, lead by example and say things when required. Just as he did when he was only an "alternate captain."
"No, my role won't be any different," Timonen said. "I went through (being a young captain) with Nashville for a year. If a team's playing really well it's easy, but there's going to be ups and downs."
Along with Briere and Hartnell, Timonen thinks there is plenty of leadership help that Giroux will receive when the going gets rough.
"There's a few things which go into it," Timonen said of being a captain. "In my mind the guy has to be a good player. I think he has to be the top player on your team, and G is the best player here. Secondly, the guy has to be here for years, and G is going to be here for 10 or 15 years, probably. The only thing G might be missing is just a little bit of experience, but we have a lot of guys here that can help him out.
"I've been doing that for many years. So my role is not going to change a bit from years past."
Another former team captain who this season will be playing the part of former player, Chris Pronger, said of Giroux in a statement. "He's obviously a very important part of the team and a guy that all the guys in that locker room are looking toward. As I've said in the past, and numerous other players have said in the past, he's not the only guy in that room that's a leader. He's got a lot of help."
So G is now a C but he has an AC and two other A's to help him out. Sounds like a formula for success...so long as there are no complex locker room minuses that creep in if the Flyers don't get off to the correct numerical start.
"I'll have a C on my jersey but it's not changing the way I play or the way I act," Giroux said. "I'm going to be the same kid and play the same way. Basically, it's just a letter."
NOTES: Goalie Ilya Bryzgalov offered his thoughts Wednesday on Giroux's captaincy, saying, "He's a very capable player and highly skilled." Asked then why no goalies seem to ever be asked to captain a club, Bryzgalov quickly said, "You gotta ask Gary Bettman." Flyers expect a full building tonight at Wells Fargo Center to see an enthralling practice. There is talk that thousands of tickets more than capacity are floating around out there. The Flyers sent Tye McGinn back to the Phantoms Wednesday night.


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|Episode Description
|Friday, Apr 12, 2013 - 9:30 AM
"Buddy Explores The Tyrannosaurs/Rainy Day Fight"
Buddy, an adopted T. rex, wishes he knew more about his T. rex ancestors. So, Dad takes him and Tiny on the Dinosaur Train back to the early Cretaceous, to visit an ancestor: an earlier version of Tyrannosaurus rex called Raptorex. Rodney Raptorex is a kid who won't grow up to be as big as Buddy will, but the two boys find that they not only have a lot of differences, they have a lot in common, too. D
Mountain Time
|More on IDAHO (MT)
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Glen Clyde Baade, 71, died peacefully in his home surrounded by his loving family and friends on March 14, 2013 from complications of ALS. He was born on Oct. 20, 1941.
Glen Clyde Baade, 71, died peacefully in his home surrounded by his loving family and friends on March 14, 2013 from complications of ALS. He was born on Oct. 20, 1941.
Glen had the most vivacious personality and touched the lives of many. He was a man with a big heart and was a loving husband, father, and grandpa.
He worked for Sampson Construction as a quality assurance director and was a sheet metal worker for many years.
Not only did he love to hunt, fish, camp, ride his Harley, and smoke his stogies, he was also very active as a coach for the Screamin' Eagles fastpitch softball team. Glen very much enjoyed watching all of the activities and sports his children and grandchildren were involved in.
He is survived by his wife, Susan; children Carla Evans (with husband Scott, and children Jacob and Cassandra), Erin Brandt (with husband Justin and children Tristan, Traeton, and Raegan), and Adam Lathrop (with Tara Miller); daughters from a previous marriage Denise, Joni, Lisa, and Aimee; sister Mary Jane VeRost (with husband Jim), his loving dogs Annie and Oakley, many extended family members, aunts, uncles, and nieces and nephews, and several friends including Karla Ooton (his personal Guardian Angel).
He was preceded by parents Ruth and Clyde Baade.
Celebration of life services will be held at 2 p.m. on Wednesday, March 20, at Our Saviour's Lutheran Church in Lincoln. Burial of ashes will held at a later date at the Wyuka Cemetery in Nebraska City.
Memorials are suggested to the choice of family.
Messages of condolence may be emailed to petersonmortuary@hotmail .com.
Peterson Mortuary of Nebraska City is in charge of arrangements.


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Admission to the Delaware Museum of Natural History will be waived from 9:30 a.m. - noon on Sunday, March 3, courtesy of PNC Bank.
Admission to the Delaware Museum of Natural History will be waived from 9:30 a.m. - noon on Sunday, March 3, courtesy of PNC Bank. This PNC Free Sunday Morning is part of a grant from the PNC Foundation, which receives its principle funding from The PNC Financial Services Group.
PNC Free Sunday Mornings are funded as part of the Grow Up Great with Science grant program, which provides local preschool children with opportunities to learn science basics and experience related activities that are educational and fun. The Delaware Museum of Natural History is in the last year of a four-year grant that has allowed the Museum to train local preschool teachers and introduce families of preschool children to science through visits to the Museum's interactive exhibits. Museum experts have also traveled to classrooms to help teachers create children's activities that enable them to explore science with their senses and use simple tools to test their ideas. Many of the activities have received assistance from PNC employees as volunteers.
The PNC Free Sunday Morning on March 3 is the second of three at the Delaware Museum of Natural History for the 2012-13 school year. The next PNC Free Sunday Morning is scheduled for Sunday, June 23, 2013.
WHAT: PNC Free Sunday Morning
WHERE: Delaware Museum of Natural History, 4840 Kennett Pike, Wilmington,
DATE: Sunday, March 3, 2013
TIME: 9:30 a.m. - noon
MORE INFO: Visit www.delmnh.org or call 658-9111.


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The phrase is shouted by a chorus of enthusiastic female sales clerks who bow deeply in my direction. They are literally telling me to "come in" - the standard greeting delivered by everyone, from the grizzled owner of the tiny neighbourhood bar, to the army of smiling, uniformed staff at the 14-storey department store I've just entered on this unseasonably warm November day in Tokyo.
Ah, Japanese service. It's part of what makes visiting this small island country so appealing to us westerners. Here, it's not just service with a smile: its service with a bow and a hearty "irasshaimase!"
But no matter how loudly they shout, the world's tourists don't seem to be listening.
On March 11, it will have been one year since a 9.0-magnitude earthquake and tsunami hit the northeast coast of Japan, killing nearly 16,000 people and displacing 300,000 more. It also triggered a meltdown at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant - an unprecedented tragedy for the immediate region that also triggered panic and anxiety the world over. Tourist numbers plummeted, and have yet to bounce back.
This is why I'm here. The Tokyo Convention & Visitors Bureau wants the world to know that the capital was nowhere near the zone of nuclear fallout. (Tokyo is 250 kilometres from Fukushima.) They've brought in reporters from all corners of the globe, and produced charts to show that radiation in Tokyo is actually lower than in other major world cities. (According to their numbers, it's twice as high in Seoul, for instance.) They point to a city-government website that shows levels have been falling steadily since the disaster. And they stress that radiation is not elevated in precipitation, nor in tap water.
Certainly, all seems business as usual. The rush-hour subways are still packing in hordes of sweaty commuters. The high-end designer stores in Ginza are still full of impossibly elegant women. Busloads of hardy seniors roam the city's spacious gardens. And there are plenty of foreigners about, including resident expats with their young children.
Yet a visitor to Tokyo today has more room to enjoy the sights than she would have over a year ago. Couple that with a decade-long hangover that has lowered prices since Japan's bubble economy burst, and this is an excellent time to visit one of the most vibrant and varied cities on the planet.
Yes, many neighbourhoods are noisy, crowded neon jungles, and some subway stations resemble high-speed mazes. But among them, you'll also find quiet neighbourhoods full of Buddhist temples - and so many pretty, peaceful gardens, you'd need months to visit them all. There's also contemporary design and architecture you won't find anywhere else in the world. All you need is a good guidebook, a willingness to get lost despite your guidebook, and some key Japanese phrases.
I spent a week there in November, but a visit in springtime is ideal, when clouds of pink and white cherry blossoms blanket the city and the usually staid Japanese let their hair down, gathering in parks to eat and drink under the trees until well into the night.
There are also lots of festivals (matsuri) in spring, from Buddha's birthday and the Tokyo International Anime Fair in April, to May's rowdy Sanja Matsuri (when ornate palanquins are carried around Asakusa Shrine) and Design Festa, a huge arts and design fair.
Summer in Tokyo's no slouch, either, with hours-long fireworks displays in July. And in August during O-Bon, the Japanese visit the graves of their ancestors, while folk dances lit by thousands of paper lanterns are performed on temple grounds.
Here are some highlights of my visit, which can be enjoyed year-round. Because of Tokyo's immense size, I've broken them down by area. If your time is limited, start at the top. Irasshaimase!
Asakusa (northeast)
Asakusa is Tokyo's tourist mecca, and for good reason. The side streets and back alleys surrounding the city's oldest temple, Senso-ji, are a nostalgic, pedestrian-friendly throwback to the Edo period, when the Tokugawa shoguns ruled Japan. Walk off your jet lag after dark, when the crowds have left, the streets are lit by lanterns, and the temple complex is illuminated to spectacular effect.
Approach Senso-ji from the Thunder Gate (Kaminari-mon, impossible to miss with its massive red paper lantern) and walk the 950 metres down Nakamise-dori, a lane lined with souvenir stalls. Since the temple's founding in 628 AD, pilgrims have stopped at these small shops, which still sell pretty paper products, woodblock prints, handbags and samurai swords. (Today, you've also got your pick of Pokemon key chains and temple-shaped fridge magnets.) Grab a steaming-hot bun filled with sweet bean paste to go, or an attractive box of traditional snacks to take home.
After weaving through the throngs at the temple itself, head to the right for a look at Asakusa-jinja, a Shinto shrine built in 1649. On the opposite side of Senso-ji, you'll find the small but beautiful Japanese garden of the same vintage, Denbou-in. (There's a small entrance fee.)
Getting there: Ginza line to Asakusa station (exit 1) or Toei Asakusa line to Asakusa station (exit A5)
Just south of Asakusa on the other side of the Sumida River is the Edo-Tokyo Museum, essential if you're at all interested in the city's history, from its humble beginnings in 1590, to when Tokyo hosted the Olympics in 1964. The museum's size is somewhat overwhelming, but the exhibits are excellent, including the life-size kabuki stage (actors and all), a replica of the Nihonbashi bridge, re-creations of houses and stores through the ages, and palanquins and rickshaws kids can climb onto. (edo-tokyo-museum.or.jp/english)
Getting there: Toei Oedo line to Ryogoku station (exit A4) or JR Sobu Line to Ryogoku (west exit)
Ueno & Yanaka (northeast)
Ueno Park (Ueno Koen) is home to a wealth of museums and shrines, including the must-see Tokyo National Museum, which contains the world's largest collection of Japanese art. (The kimonos and samurai armour alone are worth the price of admission.) Tokyo's oldest public park is also a great spot for cherry-blossom viewing.
For a break from the congestion of central Tokyo, nearby Yanaka is a quiet area crammed with small Buddhist temples. Stroll down the pedestrian street, Yanaka Ginza, with its tasteful gift stores and casual eateries, before heading into the scenic Yanaka cemetery, home to a large population of feral cats. At the far end of the cemetery, look for the impressive seated copper Buddha (cast in 1690) in the courtyard of Tenno-ji, a Buddhist temple belonging to the Tendai sect.
Getting there: Hibiya, Ginza, or JR Yamanote lines to Ueno station
Harajuku & Shibuya (west)
If you visit no other religious site in Tokyo, make it the urban oasis that is the grand Meiji jinja, a popular Shinto shrine dedicated to Emperor Meiji and his consort, Empress Shoken. Write a wish on one of the small wooden plaques called ema, then keep an eye out for one of the Shinto weddings that frequently take place on the grounds. (A children's festival was on when I visited). The shrine also hosts an annual spring festival called Haru no Taisai, featuring imperial court music and dance, as well as Noh and kyogen plays - all open to the public. (meijijingu.or.jp/english)
Getting there: Getting there: Yamanote line to Harajuku station, or Chiyoda or Fukutoshin lines to Meiji-Jingumae station (exit 2)
From the sublime to the frivolous (and the old to the young), cross the street to Takeshita-dori, a shopping alley aimed at teens looking for the latest retro-punk fashions. Get an eyeful of the Harajuku girls in their elaborate "cosplay" outfits, but ask first before taking a photo.
The headquarters of Design Festa, the annual arts and design festival held in May, is a rabbit warren of tiny avant-garde galleries, where you're likely to find the artists themselves hard at work. You can't miss the colourful graffiti-covered entrance. Try some cheap and cheerful okonomi-yaki (a delicious savoury pancake) at Sakuratei, the on-site restaurant that's popular with students and artists alike. (designfestagallery.com/index-en.html)
Getting there: Ginza, Hanzomon or Chiyoda lines to Omotesando station (Exit A2), or Chiyoda or Fukutoshin lines to Meiji-jinguman station (exit 5)
In an area full of high-end designer stores, the exquisite Nezu Museum houses East Asian antiquities collected by rail magnate Kaichiro Nezu. Even more impressive than what's inside, though, is the adjacent garden full of pagodas, tea houses and sculptures. The minimalist cafe overlooking the garden is a tranquil place to have lunch. (nezu-muse.or.jp/en)
Getting there: Chiyoda, Ginza or Hanzomon lines to Omotesando station, exit A5.
No visit to Tokyo is complete without making the famous Shibuya Crossing. Join the hundreds of pedestrians who surge simultaneously into this massive intersection from all directions. It's a thrilling, Blade Runner-esque experience, made all the more impressive at night, when towering video screens light up the mass of humanity below.
Getting there: JR Yamanote or Ginza line to Shibuya station (Hachiko exit)
Roppongi (south-central)
The cool, ultra-modern Roppongi Hills is the perfect counterpart to Old Japan. This city-within-a-city is an architectural feast for the eyes, with the 54-storey Mori Tower at its young heart. It costs about $20 to reach "Tokyo City View" on the 52nd floor, where you'll get a breathtaking, nearly 360-degree view of the city, but that also includes entrance to the Mori Art Museum, with its excellent collections of contemporary Japanese art. While you're up there, have a drink in the Mado Lounge, which is part of the observation deck. Both the deck and the museum are open late. (roppongihills.com/en/guide)
Getting there: Hibiya or Toei Oedo line to Roppongi station (exit 1)
The nearby Tokyo Midtown is another district of modern buildings with stunning architectural features, but these surround a large, formerly private garden, Hinokicho-koen. In the middle of the garden sits 21-21 Design Sight, a small museum curated by fashion designer Issey Miyake that features temporary exhibits of cutting-edge art and design. The sleek building, which descends underground, is itself inspired by Miyake's trademark one-piece clothing. (2121designsight.jp/en)
Getting there: Hibiya or Toei Oedo line to Roppongi station (exit 8)
Akihabara (central)
Fans of Japanese comics won't want to miss Akihabara. One of Tokyo's most bizarre districts, anime aficionados can hang out in themed cafes, or gawk at fellow devotees dressed as their favourite characters.
Also, "Akiba" is THE place to shop if you're in the market for state-of-the-art Japanese electronics. For lower prices and better variety, try venturing beyond the big-name stores right near Akihabara station.
If that's not your thing, there's a brand-new, futuristic shopping arcade in Akihabara called 2k540 Aki-Oka Artisan. (The number indicates its distance of 2 kilometres and 540 metres from Tokyo Station.) A long line of small shops selling high-quality, handmade crafts runs under an elevated train track. Regular workshops are offered by the on-site craftspeople.
Getting there: Yamanote line to Okachimachi or Akihabara stations, or Ginza line to Suehirocho station.
Shinjuku (west)
Shinjuku Station: You haven't truly experienced the Tokyo subway until you've navigated the colossal hub that is Shinjuku, with its 50 (!) exits, multiple levels and kilometres of tunnels. You, too, could be among the four million people who move through it every day, making it the world's busiest station. After dark, take either the west or east exit for a stroll through the neon-lit side streets, all packed with hopping bars, casual eateries and karaoke joints.
If you hit one store in Tokyo, make it Tokyu Hands, a multi-level department store that's geared to DIY-ers, but is actually a fascinating showcase of everyday Japanese design. If you're looking for practical and unique souvenirs, be they lunch (bento) boxes, travel accessories, pet supplies, or stationery, there are worse ways to spend a couple of hours. Stores also in Ginza, Shibuya and Ikebukuro. (tokyu-hands.co.jp/en)
Getting there: Shinjuku station (New South exit)
If you're lucky enough to be in Tokyo when the cherry trees bloom, the huge park that is Shinjuku Gyoen has 1,500 of them, so get your camera ready. Check out the traditional tea house at the park's south end.
Getting there: Marunouchi line to Shinjuku-gyoenmae station (exit 1)


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Clayton Kershaw (5-5, 3.70) vs. Jason Hammel (5-3, 4.21).
COMMENTS: It's the final countdown! One last Mannyless game — and none too soon, given how ineffective the bats were last night. The Dodgers have won Kershaw's last three starts, while Hammel has won five of his last seven starts.
Speaking of fives and sevens, the Dodgers have lost five of their last seven games. A win today would make them the majors' first 50-win team; a loss would start talk about whether Manny can save them from the threat of their first three-game losing streak.
I'm in the Vin Scully Press Box today, so look for some quotage from Joe Torre and hopefully some players. I'll be looking for a chili cheese Dodger Dog (or two) in the fifth inning. Oh yeah.


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