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MAMARONECK, N.Y. - As temperatures soared, Tamara Santiago made sure her one-year-old daughter Kayla drank plenty of water while spending the day at the Harbor Island Beach.Santiago, a Mamaroneck resident, had the help of her mother Miriam while Kayla played in the sprinklers, which is one of the services Village of Mamaroneck manager Richard Slingerland suggested residents utilize to cool off during the Excessive Heat Advisory.
The National Weather Service issued an Excessive Heat Advisory for Thursday and Friday, and have issued a Heat Warning for Saturday, which will be in effect from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m.
"An excessive heat warning is issued when the combination of heat and humidity is expected to make it feel like it is 105 degrees or greater," according to the National Weather Service.
The Village of Mamaroneck has worked with Con Edison to ensure they are prepared in case of a blackout or brownout. Friday, Slingerland stated the village was prepared to help residents stay cool in the case of a blackout or brownout by opening cooling centers in the four firehouses that have back-up generators.
The Town of Mamaroneck did not open a cooling center in the Weaver Street Firehouse Friday because no one used it Thursday, when it was open from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Con Edison reported 97 outages in Mamaroneck affecting 185 customers. This included two area outages on Vine Road and Oakhurst Road.
"The sprinklers make it feel 10 degrees cooler," said Santiago, whose 20-month-old child joined dozens of other kids running through the sprinklers. "I wish they would expand that area."Wendy Cohen, who also brought her one-year-old daughter Ella to play in the sprinklers, wondered if Friday's heat would set a record as she spoke with another mother, Regina Lamanna.
Friday, the heat index reached 104 degrees. Saturday's high temperature will be 96 degrees, but the heat index wil reach as high as 102 degrees. Saturday's low will be 74 degrees, according to the National Weather Service.
The Village of Mamaroneck recommends:
- Drink plenty of water- Stay indoors if at all possible- Limit strenuous outdoor activity- Turn off lights and appliances not in use; and- Turn up your air conditioners and HVAC systems to higher temperatures to reduce electricity consumption.
How are you dealing with the heat? Comment below, on Facebook or Twitter .
Click here to sign up for Daily Voice's free daily emails and news alerts.


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Free Stuff
See John FullBright at Heights Theater!
Enter here for your chance to win tickets to see John Fullbright with Dustin Welch at Heights Theater on November 18th!
All winners will be selected at random and notified by email.
This Free Stuff giveaway has expired, but we're always giving stuff away! See what else you could win at Free Stuff. And you can see what's happening with special events and where our Street Team will be next at Promotions!

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Keyboards 'dirtier than a toilet'
Research by the University of Arizona last year found the average office desktop harboured 400 times more bacteria than the average office toilet seat.
Should somebody have a cold in your office, or even have gastroenteritis, you're very likely to pick it up from a keyboard.
They also found that, compared to men, on average women have three to four times the amount of germs in, on and around their work area.


text:
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text:
Scouting for Girls – Scouting for Girls
This was the first album released by Scouting for Girls released way back in 2007. Scouting for Girls were the first ever band that I started to take an interest in. I must have been 9 or 10 at the time the album was released and was probably the first ever album I had bought. I remember showing my friend at the time this album and we both were in love with the band from such a young age. There was this one track on the album called 'I Wish I Was James Bond' and we were absolutely crazy for this song that when we went to a school disco I remember us requesting it and the DJ not having a clue who Scouting for Girls were or the song was so we just went around signing the song instead (evidently the DJ did not have a good taste in music).
Looking at the track list of this album my favourite had to be 'Heartbeat' I loved the whole start to the song with a literal heartbeat trailed by the catchy lyrics and chorus to follow. Whilst listening to the song as a 9-year-old the lyric "Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse" would always stick in my head as I viewed it as funny which I guess made me like this song furthermore.
There are many other great tracks on this album including 'Elvis Ain't Dead' and 'She's so Lovely' which may be more familiar to others who have heard about the band. The reason this album has 'changed my life' is because this is the first album I officially bought and would listen to repeatedly. I think this album opened my eyes to the whole concept of having a favourite band having a deep love for music and finding more artists and bands to listen and connect to.
(What's The Story) Morning Glory – Oasis
Not only are Oasis one of the most iconic bands in the world. But they have probably produced one of the most successful albums of the 1990's. This album sold a record-breaking 347,000 copies in its first week of sale and was number one for a length of 10 weeks in the UK. Since release it has sold over 22 million copies. Obviously, I was not around when the album was released but does that matter? NO WHO CARES? If you haven't heard Oasis where have you been? What are you doing? I don't recall the first time I had heard Oasis but I have always loved how they shaped rock and roll and how they have become British icons.
This album is on my list of albums that have changed my life because it is just so iconic you cannot skip the go to karaoke and song along songs on this album: Wonderwall, Don't look back in anger, some might say. These tracks are huge and so they should be!
Life Thru a Lens – Robbie Williams
I remember this album being the first album I listened to. I recall my dad giving me a bundle of his CD's to listen to and this being the first one I picked up. It looked appealing compared to the others he had handed to me. (Yes, they say don't judge a book by its cover, this also applies to album covers, however I was young but now I know better). I don't think I even got through the stack he gave me. When I listened to music I didnt have an IPod or phone or even a set of headphones to listen to, I only had the family HIFi system. It was this large black box (probably the same size as a bedside cabinet) in a storage unit and along with it came two large speakers placed on either side of the room. The system had far too many dials and buttons, it played cassettes, CDs and the radio and the sound quality was amazing.
I listened to this album non-stop, recited the lyrics of 'Angels' to everyone I knew (basically only my family). To this day, it is still one of my favourite songs. I must admit I hadn't listened to the whole album track by track in forever but, I as I write this I am listening back and it feels very nostalgic however, listening with a set of headphone is nowhere near the same quality as the sound on that HIFi System.
What are albums have changed or shaped you life? Be sure to leave a comment and come say 'hey!'.
Just a heads up, as many of my posts have been specifically about music, I'll probably continue writing about that because it's something I'm really passionate about. I was once told to "write about what you love" which is what I will continue doing and hopefully you'll enjoy it. However, if something else pops up in my head I'll write about that.


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The Hangover
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text: Over the weekend, Yahoo! Movies released the first clip we've seen of the remake of the 1977 Disney classic, Pete's Dragon. This new Pete's Dragon won't be a musical like the first and Elliot the Dragon's design is decidedly less cartoonish. With Robert Redford and Bryce Dallas Howard in the cast I have some hope for this film. In a way I'm very glad they aren't completely duplicating the 1977 film and doing a different take. I'll be curious to see how many elements from the original movie they will leave in. This clip is missing the dragon and Pete, but we get to see Redford and Howard give us a little build up that will probably be paid off in future clips.


text:
I took one of the girls out with me to pick up food. I like to take the kids on small trips with me because it's exciting to them, gets them out of the house, and makes them feel special. This one girl was the only one who hadn't had a chance to go with me somewhere, so when it came time for me to go out, I asked if she'd like to come along. She was full of energy already, and she burst with even more at the prospect of going with me somewhere. We hopped in the car and headed out.
While I was waiting for the food, her demeanour quickly changed from that of excitement to distress. She complained of an extreme headache, and while I waited for the food to be delivered, she laid down in the car. I tried to piece together what could be causing her discomfort, as she had no previous history of migraines.
Soon she was throwing up. I was a bit disturbed about it because just a few days earlier I had another child throwing up in my car. I wondered if my driving leads people to extreme motion sickness, or if this was just coincidence. At least I can say I have reached my rite of passage into adulthood by having a child throw up on me.
After the initial wave of nausea finished, she immediately sat up in the car, looked out the window, and pointed to a car slowly driving by. "That's my dad," she said. "He doesn't even notice; he doesn't even care." Then she lay back down and hardly moved until we reached the home.
When we got back to the house she was fine. It was only for that time in the car that she was extremely sick. The timing of her sickness and that of seeing the man who one day abandoned her with no goodbye makes me really wonder what's going on in the spiritual and emotional realm surrounding this girl. Did she sense it before she saw him? How does that make someone feel to see their father and know that they aren't on his mind? Does he ever wonder where she is; does he think he'll ever meet her again someday? Did God's heart crush with hers while the Serpent smirked?
Sometimes you really have no answers. This was one of those times for me; as I watched the car drive by with an anonymous man inside, too preoccupied to look around and see his abandoned daughter just so close, I had nothing to say to her.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.
I still have nothing to say to her—if we could go back in time and relive the moment, I would be none the wiser. It's easy to play Judge of the family members and to feel indignant. Instead, I am called to simply mourn with those who are mourning their losses. I know what I can't be—a replacement parent, criticizer, condemner, avenger, swallowed in anger. But, I can be captured by Christ—as a mourner, forgiver, server, lover, patient in affliction.
We live in a deeply wounded and hurting world caused by ourselves. As individuals, we are powerful. We have the power to apathetically or venomously inflict pain on others. We have the power to pour ourselves out as a fragrant offering, living a life of love. As I was placed in a situation that beckons my mothering nature to care for a sick child, I found myself even further humbled from being a care provider to being much less than the child: that of an adult with no answers, a mere being capable of nothing greater than mourning as I watch the man pass by, his daughter's body in the care of my arms.
Mourn with those who mourn. This is today's calling for me.


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- 2012
- Algorithmic approach to series expansions around transient Markov chains with applications to paired queuing systems
- Low-speed salient-pole BLDC-machine control by using a single sensor
- Evaluation of power rating of core network equipment in practical deployments
- Fast transcoding for video delivery by means of a control stream
Inductance-based position self-sensing of a Brushless DC-machine using high-frequency signal injection
2012) IEEE Industrial Electronics Society. p.3662-3667 Mark(
- Motion and deformation estimation of cardiac ultrasound sequences using an anatomical B-spline transformation model
Fuzzy rough positive region based nearest neighbour classification
2012) IEEE International Conference on Fuzzy Systems. p.1961-1967 Mark(
- Energy awareness in self-growing sensor networks
Vertical objects detecting algorithm for real-time 2D-to-3D conversion
2012) International Conference on Signal Processing. p.1076-1079 Mark(
- Power savings and performance analysis in wireless networks
- Internet of things virtual networks: bringing network virtualization to resource-constrained devices
- A semantic approach to cross-disciplinary research collaboration
- Active robot learning with human tutelage
- Evaluation of the maximum power point tracking performance in small wind turbines
- Time-varying space-only codes
- Tree-based sequential sampling algorithm for scalable macromodeling of high-speed systems
Resilient network dimensioning for optical grid/clouds using relocation
2012) IEEE International Conference on Communications. p.6262-6267 Mark(
- User-driven design of a context-aware application: an ambient-intelligent nurse call system
- Experiments on 10Gb/s fast settling high sensitivity burst-mode receiver with on-chip auto-reset for 10G-GPONs
- A modular and hierarchically structured techno-economic model for FTTH deployments
Design of an autonomous software platform for future symbiotic service management
2012) IEEE IFIP Network Operations and Management Symposium. p.1195-1198 Mark(
Temperature dependence of the LabPET small-animal PET scanner
2012) JOURNAL OF NUCLEAR MEDICINE. 53(suppl. 1). p.2896-2901 Mark(
- A mechanistic performance model for superscalar in-order processors
- Calculation of Eddy-current loss in the magnets of an Axial-Flux PM machine with a fractional-slot concentrated winding
Comparison study of RPC and crystal based PET systems for hadron therapy monitoring
2012) IEEE Nuclear Science Symposium Conference Record. p.2212-2217 Mark(
Dual energy microCT for small animal bone-iodine decomposition
2012) IEEE Nuclear Science Symposium Conference Record. p.3769-3774 Mark(
Reconstruction from truncated projections using constrained total-variation minimization applied to PET for hadron-therapy monitoring
2012) IEEE Nuclear Science Symposium Conference Record. p.3874-3879 Mark(
- Monolithic integration of an active asynchronous voltage clamp with a 12V/3A full bridge synchronous rectifier
- Theory for exposure prediction in an indoor environment due to UWB systems
- A heuristic tool for exposure reduction in indoor wireless networks
- EasyBuild: building software with ease
- GaSb-based integrated lasers and photodetectors on a silicon-on-insulator waveguide circuit for sensing applications in the shortwave infrared
- Improving large vocabulary continuous speech recognition by combining GMM-based and reservoir-based acoustic modeling
- Stretchable biocompatible electronics by embedding electrical circuitry in biocompatible elastomers
- Advanced 300-mm waferscale patterning for silicon photonics devices with record low loss and phase errors
- Lateral versus interdigitated diode design for 10 Gb/s low-voltage low-loss silicon ring modulators
- Trade-off between end-to-end reliable and cost-effective TDMA/WDM passive optical networks
- Efficient protection schemes for hybrid WDM/TDM passive optical networks
- An alternative EPSAC based control strategy for multivariable time delay processes
- Using general synchronous machine theory to integrate PLL controller dynamics into a static power electronic converter model
- Possible and necessary answer sets of possibilistic answer set programs
- Influence of electrical steel grade on the temperature distribution in direct-drive PM synchronous generators for 5 MW wind turbines
- Effect of segmentation on eddy-current loss in permanent-magnets of axial-flux PM machines using a multilayer-2D-2D coupled model
- Analysis of common-mode noise on on-chip differential lines through stochastic modeling of parameter variability
- Towards efficient multiobjective optimization: multiobjective statistical criterions
- Efficient simulation-driven design optimization of antennas using co-kriging
Robust predictive control design for optimal wet-clutch engagement
2012) Proceedings of the American Control Conference. p.4576-4581 Mark(
- Communicationless navigation through robust visual odometry
- Numerical and experimental study of III-V on SOI microdisk lasers with p-i-n junction
- Non-reciprocal response in heterogeneously integrated microdisks
- Investigation of glucose diffusion using an optofluidic silicon chips
DYAMAND: dynamic, adaptive management of networks and devices
2012) Conference on Local Computer Networks. p.192-195 Mark(
- IPKISS: a parametric design and simulation framework for silicon photonics
- Efficient use of short data records for FRF modeling by using fractional poles
- Time complexity of traditional vision algorithms on a block-based image processor (BLIP)
Efficient optimization based on local shift-invariance for adaptive SPECT systems
2012) IEEE Nuclear Science Symposium Conference Record. p.2501-2508 Mark(
Hybrid silicon lasers for optical interconnect
2012) 2012 IEEE PHOTONICS CONFERENCE (IPC). p.812-813 Mark(
- The DMC contribution in the human absorption in an indoor environment
- Propagation modelling in a container environment
- On the low frequency behavior of the mixed discretized time domain magnetic field integral equation
- Analytical computation of impedance integrals with power-law Green's functions
- Analysis of VCO based noise shaping ADCs linearized by PWM modulation
- An eco-friendly hybrid urban computing network combining community-based wireless LAN access and wireless sensor networking
Scalability and power consumption of static optical core networks
2012) IEEE Global Communications Conference, Proceedings. p.3465-3471 Mark(
- Effects of clumping on modelling LiDAR waveforms in forest canopies
- Refined human-robot interaction through retro-projected robotic heads
- Refined human-robot interaction through retro-projected robotic heads
- Optical grooming in OFDM-based elastic optical networks
- Variable-fidelity optimization of microwave filters using co-kriging and trust regions
A specifications based PID autotuner
2012) IEEE International Conference on Control Applications. p.1621-1626 Mark(
- Short, stretchable molded interconnect reliability under 10% cyclic elongation
- Bonding bare die LEDs on PET foils for lighting applications: thermal design modeling and bonding experiments
- Temporal video transcoding for digital TV broadcasting
- Parameterized model order reduction of delayed systems using an interpolation approach with amplitude and frequency scaling coefficients
- Mapping logic to reconfigurable FPGA routing
An SLA-driven framework for dynamic multimedia content delivery federations
2012) IEEE IFIP Network Operations and Management Symposium. p.1241-1247 Mark(
Simultaneous quantification of flow and tissue velocities based on multi-angle plane wave imaging with an extended velocity range
2012) PROCEEDINGS : IEEE ULTRASONICS SYMPOSIUM. p.438-441 Mark(
- Time-varying space-only code: a new paradigm for coded MIMO communication
- Robust nonlinear extended prediction self-adaptive control (NEPSAC) of continuous bioreactors
- Video copy detection using inclined video tomography and bag-of-visual-words
- Identification of informative subgraphs in complex systems
- A best view selection in meetings through attention analysis using a multi-camera network
- Towards reel-to-reel integration of ultra thin chips to polymer foils
- Image segmentation using wavelet coefficients and geodesic distance between elliptical distributions for applications in street view
- Solving satisfiability in fuzzy logics with evolution strategies
- Compact silicon differential receiver with integrated zero biased balanced detection
- Robust 4-channel WDM demultiplexing filter based on collectively tuned silicon microrings
Feedback-constrained Wyner-Ziv video coding
2012) 2012 PICTURE CODING SYMPOSIUM (PCS). p.169-172 Mark(
- Small-scale fading and delay in conference room with 802.11 coverage problems
- Modelling the power consumption in femtocell networks
- Low-power, 10-Gbps 1.5-Vpp differential CMOS driver for a silicon electro-optic ring modulator
- All-optical membrane InP switch on silicon for access applications
- Continuous-wave parametric conversion in hydrogenated amorphous photonic wire
- Characterization of cascadable excitability in a silicon-on-insulator microring
- High-Q photonic crystal nanocavities on 300 mm SOI substrate fabricated by 193 nm immersion lithography
- Frequency- and time-domain stochastic analysis of lossy and dispersive interconnects in a SPICE-like environment
Shunt quantification in congenital heart disease based on two-dimensional speckle tracking
2012) IEEE International Ultrasonics Symposium. p.1877-1880 Mark(
Optical outcoupling by oriented emission in top and bottom emitting OLEDs
2012) IEEE Photonics Conference 2012, Abstracts. p.514-515 Mark(
- Comparitive study of the influence of harmonic voltage distortion on the efficiency of induction machines versus line start permanent magnet machines
- Object identification by using orthonormal circus functions from the trace transform
- Combined non-local and multi-resolution sparsity prior in image restoration
Detector design for range monitoring in hadron therapy by means of image reconstruction
2012) IEEE Nuclear Science Symposium Conference Record. p.3887-3889 Mark(
Performance of digital silicon photomultipliers for time of flight PET scanners
2012) IEEE Nuclear Science Symposium Conference Record. p.2825-2829 Mark(
- Temperature dependence of the LabPET small-animal PET scanner
- Succesful experimental validation of an integrated burst mode receiver designed for 10G-GPON systems in a packet-OADM metro network
Si photonic device uniformity improvement using wafer-scale location specific processing
2012) IEEE Photonics Conference 2012, Abstracts. p.725-726 Mark(
- Optimization of high-speed electromagnetic systems with accurate parametric macromodels generated using sequential sampling of the design space
- Partial element equivalent circuit models in the solution of the electric field integral equation
- A lightweight middleware for an e-health WSN based system using android technology
- Dynamical construction of binary relations in coreference detection
Platoon based model for urban traffic control
2012) Proceedings of the American Control Conference. p.6563-6568 Mark(
- Novel interconnect methodologies for ultra-thin chips on foils
- Fractional order control for the temperature loop in a chemical reactor
- Predictive control of anaerobic digestion of wastewater sludge: a feasibility study
- Projection based quasi-Helmholtz decompositions: loop/star-like schemes without the search for global loops
- Low-frequency regularization of the mixed-discretized Calderon CFIE
- Advantages of PSWF-based models for UWB systems
- A component-based approach towards mobile distributed and collaborative PTAM
- Reliable low-cost co-kriging modeling of microwave devices
- Distributed smart charging of electric vehicles for balancing wind energy
- Leveraging upon standards to build the Internet of things
- Efficiently observing Internet of Things resources
- Smart technologies for effective reconfiguration: the FASTER approach
- A layered approach for Dutch large vocabulary continuous speech recognition
- Minimizing the disaster risk in optical telecom networks
- Rotterdam open data: exploring the release of Public Sector Information through co-creation
- Antenna independent path loss model for in-body communication in homogeneous tissue
- Feature placement algorithms for high-variability applications in cloud environments
- FedRR: a federated resource reservation algorithm for multimedia services
- Distributed multi-agent algorithm for residential energy management in smart grids
Developing and managing customizable software as a service using feature model conversion
2012) IEEE IFIP Network Operations and Management Symposium. p.1295-1302 Mark(
Design and evaluation of an architecture for future smart grid service provisioning
2012) IEEE IFIP Network Operations and Management Symposium. p.1295-1302 Mark(
- Modelling and simulating saturation in main and leakage flux paths of induction machines
- Towards flexible photonic sensing skins with optical fiber sensors
- Detection or modulation at 35 Gbit/s with a standard CMOS-processed optical waveguide
- Silicon carrier-depletion-based Mach-Zehnder and ring modulators with different doping patterns for telecommunication and optical interconnect
- Soft curtailment for voltage limiting in low-voltage networks through reactive or active power droops
- Novel methodology to integrate ultra-thin chips on flexible foils
- A chip embedding solution based on low-cost plastic materials as enabling technology for smart labels
- Automated methodology for adjustment of component values in passive converter circuit for wind turbine generators
Multi-loop quality scalability based on high efficiency video coding
2012) 2012 PICTURE CODING SYMPOSIUM (PCS). p.445-448 Mark(
- Fast optimization of microwave filters using surrogate-based optimization methods
- Accurate modeling of antennas using variable-fidelity EM simulations and co-kriging
- CMOS-compatible tungsten heaters for silicon photonic waveguides
- Practical time-dependent and stochastic routing with historical measurements of travel times
- CUPID algorithm for cooperative indoor multipath-aided localization
- Viteq a generic framework for no-reference quality evaluation of video testimonials
- Leader-follower string formation using cascade control for mobile robots
- Wavelength switched hybrid TDMA/WDM (TWDM) PON: a flexible next-generation optical access solution
- Silicon photonics for optical fiber communication applications
- Tunable 4-channel ultra-dense WDM demultiplexer with III-V photodiodes integrated in silicon-on-insulator
- Characterization of Pbs/CdS Qdot absorption on SOI waveguides
- Communication-based secondary control in microgrids with voltage-based droop control
- On the redundant carrier distribution for UW-OFDM
Cooperative multipath-aided indoor localization
2012) IEEE Wireless Communications and Networking Conference. p.3107-3111 Mark(
- The roots of the NOT gate
- Accurate and conforming mixed discretization of the chiral Müller equation
- A discussion of an analytical per-unit-length impedance matrix model
- On the viability of a CSO architecture for on-demand virtualized cloud planning and provisioning
- Temporary staffing services: a data mining perspective
- Optimizing image quality using test signals: trading off blur, noise and contrast
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Health Is Wealth Quotes
Textual content is offered under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License ; additional terms may apply. Through the use of this web site, you conform to the Terms of Use and Privateness Coverage Wikipedia® is a registered trademark of the Wikimedia Basis, Inc. , a non-profit group. Dominique graduated with her B.S. in Public Health and her husband earned his M.A. in Human Resource Management. Their journey contains raising youngsters, working by means of power illness, and overcoming adversarial childhoods to get pleasure from their day within the solar at Petco Park. Incidents of pneumonia and bronchitis in children had been discovered to be increased in instances the place dad and mom smoked cigarettes often. These effects of smoking should not related to delivery weight or the socio-economic class of the dad and mom. The only factor that pointed in direction of the state of affairs was the smoking behavior of the dad and mom.
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Welcome to this week's Three Things Thursday post, created by Emily at Nerd in the Brain and hosted by Natalie at There She Goes.
Share your joy by posting three things big or small, that have made you happy this week and join in the fun! Want to know what it's all about? Then click here!
Number One
Luna Lovegood Funko Pop! Vinyl – My Luna Pop! collection is coming along nicely… I knew they would become addictive, but they're just so cute!
Number Two
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Number Three
May Contain Squirrels – My job involves dealing with a LOT of parcels and I have seen some weird and wonderful things, but this one from Pip & Nut has made me laugh the most!
Now it's your turn to share your happiness! Simply click on the button below and add your link with your three things that have made you smile this week… I can't wait to hear all about them!
Don't feel like writing an entire post? Then simply share some pictures on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter with #ThreeThingsThursday. Don't forget to tag @ThereSheGoesUK so that I can send them some love!


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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67779028872080992652018-03-06T02:15:52.486-08:00Drugstore - Women in RockDrugstore A few tales about being une femme in a rock'n'roll band by Isabel Monteiroisabel monteirohttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777902887208099265.post-22076286067892630632012-05-02T04:55:00.032-07:002012-05-04T03:25:49.547-07:00Women in Rock - two dirty tales

Sugar and spice and all things nice.

I'm pretty sure that's how all of us are born, boys and girls alike.

Here are a couple of rock'n'roll tales about how sometimes in life, in order to survive, sweet sugar-cane turns into rock hard candy.

To the tales:
.

1-

Rat on a knife edge

.

We were travelling in a sleeper-bus from France to Spain, at the end of a long European tour, heading towards Barcelona, for the Badalona Pop Festival, where we were due to play alongside Sonic Youth, Beck and Yo La Tengo - the gig was on my birthday, so we were all looking forward.

If you've never been inside a sleeper-bus, this is the lowdown: mini-lounge w/seats and micro-kitchen at the front, sleeping-pods at the rear, which are arranged like individual bunk-beds, each protected by heavy curtains for privacy, and provide just about enough space to get a moderately decent night sleep.

The idea is that the driver sleeps during the day, and drives during the night, while band is asleep, so you wake up reasonably fresh at the next gigs's destination.

We played our last show in France and had our usual post-gig chill-out in the bus, having a few drinks, singing a few songs before hitting the foam-beds, all in good spirits.

I was deeply asleep when it happened.

And it took me a few confused seconds to grasp the situation, then it hit me:

The driver of the bus, a disgusting little man, was leaning over my bunk-bed, the heavy dark curtain was slightly open and I could clearly see his horrid face facing mine - my pyjama top had been lifted up and he was groping my breasts, squeezing them, one hand on each breast.

Just like in your worst nightmare, when you try to scream, but for some strange reason can't quite do it - I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. Nothing.

I just pushed him away - pushed him away. He went.

I lay there in my micro-bunk-bed, petrified, stunned and in shock.

A few minutes later, the bus, which had been stationary, started moving again.

I checked my watch: it was around 4am - not long now, I thought, not long till it's daytime. Hang on in there.

I waited and waited, quietly smoking in my bunk-bed, until the bus eventually stopped, the sun was now rising high and the driver, now finally gone to sleep.

I got up, woke the band and crew up and summoned everyone for an emergency meeting.

I told them what had happened, but was surprised and dismayed at their reaction, or lack of reaction, which was not what I expected:

'Oh no..., that's terrible, real sorry. But, look, nothing we can do right now, maybe we can ask the guy to apologise, have the TM speak with him?'

'Er... apologise? Are you freaking out of your mind? This pervert abused me last night, we must call the police. I want the police here!- I don't want an apology, I want to get another bus, another driver - I can't travel in this bus!- Its a fokin outrage! I wanna call the police!'

'Isabel, what good is that going to do? We still have to get to the Festival site, and we're only a few hours away. Why don't we get to the Festival first, then we'll decide what to do, everything's gonna be fine...'

I was shocked. I genuinely expected them to be as outraged as I was.

I wanted someone, anyone, to be as indignant and angry as I was, and say:

'What?! This bastard touched you?! Get the bastard in here, no one touches you!'

But, no - they were like a bunch of little kids, who didn't quite know how to handle the situation and wanted to avoid any kind of confrontation.

So, realising that neither band or crew were going to do anything about it, I called our manager in London, Adrian Boss - whose reaction was just as bad:

'Look, you don't really wanna report this guy, he's probably a father of two, gonna end up losing his job, you don't wanna do that... And it's gonna be your word against his, you're not gonna be able to prove anything, so let's just get you to the Festival site ...'

'But I WANT HIM TO LOSE HIS JOB - I do - he is not fit for working, he is a pervert and I want him reported... and I can't travel in this bus - I can't I can't/...Get me another bus, another driver - I can't travel in this bus!'

'Look, Isabel, let's just get you to the Festival, do the gig, I'm gonna ask the Tour Manager to have a word with the driver and make sure he doesn't come close to you...you're gonna be fine...' blah blah blah/

I remember just throwing the mobile phone on the ground, in sheer frustration, and that terrible sense of being completely on your own and being the only person who is prepared to stand for yourself - for clearly, no one else was going to do it.

So, I got back into the bus, demanded the crew woke the driver up - and when all were gathered by the lounge at the front of the bus, I made my stand:

I walked up to the mini-kitchen, grabbed the bread knife, and standing in the middle of the bus, red-faced and knife in hand, delivered my speech:

'Right, you see this knife here? Take a good look at it, because if this disgusting rat even so much as look at me I will not hesitate to use it. I'm gonna repeat, so you understand me: I will not hesitate to use this knife to defend myself if you ever come near me again. Now, I don't give a fuck if you need to sleep or not, just fucking get your ass into the driver's seat, where you belong, and drive this fucking bus to this festival site and don't ever, ever even dare to look at me again - now: drive!'

Without a word, he got into the driver's seat - and away he drove.

I then sat down, still clutching the knife, and stayed there throughout the remaining 2, 3 hour journey, knife in hand, staring hard at band and crew until we got to the Festival site.

-

We played a beautiful gig, it was sunny, and the crowd even sang happy birthday.

I remember asking them during the gig, if anyone had a house or hut on the beach, I desperately wanted to stay, and was dreading the 16 hours long drive back to London.

A couple of fans came forward, had a flat by the beach - I took them up on their offer - and stayed behind in Spain for an extra week, for there was absolutely no way I was getting back inside that bus.

-

This is an event that has remained weighing heavily on my conscience, for I was later dissuaded to report the driver - but I should have done so, not just because of what he did to me, but the possibility that he may still be out there abusing other vulnerable female artists.

But I do take a little pride in the fact that in the middle of that Spanish desert, there were 7 big guys in that bus, but it was only the 5ft lady who showed any real balls.
.............................................................................

2-

Keith Allen, Damien Hirst and the ass of miss Monteiro

.

During the 'White Magic for Lovers' album promo, I handmade a couple of hundred mini-voodoo dolls.

The little fabric dolls, about 3 inches tall, looked totally sweet and made the perfect little promo-gift to tie-in with the album concept.

I would always turn up at interviews with one in my pocket, and use it as a photo prop.

This one particular afternoon, I was at a posh restaurant in west London doing some album promo: interviews, photoshoots / more interviews/more photoshoots.

As the afternoon progressed, the restaurant closed, and we were the only table left, but another - where in a corner, Keith Allen, Damien Hirst and some other brat-pack guy who I didn't recognize, were drinking, at the end of what must have been a well-lubricated lunch.

They were talking loudly and brashly. They were talking dirty, and they were talking about me:

'Just look at that round ass, I wanna a piece of that! - Nice waist - I wanna grab that and stick... yeah, I wanna fuck her ass too. Who is this woman, can someone find out? I wanna fuck her tonight..'

Well..., you guys get the picture.

So there I was, sitting two tables away, trying to discuss the songwriting process, the meaning of 'Mondo Cane', while they were talking about how they were gonna fuck my ass.

It was embarrassing.

I was just about to walk up to their table and tell them to shut up and piss off - when I decided to go one better.

All interviews over, I stepped out, went into Boots/Superdrug and bought the biggest pot of blue hair gel you can buy - one of those mega pots.

Got back into the restaurant - the little pigs were still drinking, still ogling - I went into the loo, washed the gel-pot label away, stuck a mini-voodoo doll inside it, - (which by the way, looked pretty cool: with its fluffy hair floating, the voodoo-doll with big white eyes, caught mid-air and motionless inside the pot of bright blue hair gel, had the same striking effect as some of Hirst's most notorious formaldehyde works) - I then quickly made a mini-label out of a serviette, got sellotape from the till, and wrote the name of my brand new 'artwork':

'number 253-b - floating'

er... 'number 253-b - floating'? WTF?

It means bollocks, obviously, absolutely nothing at all - just a little stab at all that pretentious snobbery of conceptual art, which tries to add meaning to something that has no meaning at all. (note 1)

Anyway, happy with my brand new piece of conceptual voodoo art immersed in blue hair gel, I got a copy of the album, walked up to their table and to their amazement, I said:

'Good afternoon, gentleman. I'm Isabel Monteiro, songwriter, lyricist, arranger, singer, bass and guitar player, performer, artwork designer and creative director behind my band Drugstore.

Here's my latest musical work, called 'White Magic for Lovers', (handed CD to Keith), and here's my brand new artwork installation about the indelible tension between life and death - (handed the voodoo-doll gel pot to Damien Hirst).

So, as you can see, I'm not just a piece of ass. Enjoy my work'.

I then walked away, before the stunned male ensemble had a chance to utter a word.
I have no idea what they made of my CD or fake formaldehyde voodoo-artwork, but have a feeling, Damien Hirst knows exactly what I think of his artistic output.
Is it Art? yeah, sure, of course it is. art with a capital 'F', (said the ass).

x

(note 1) (look.., anyone can add whatever meaning to whatever they want - it's a dead end argument, but probably best not to go round tagging your creative output or interpretation of it as 'grand art' with some universally profound meaning - meaning in art, can be quite personal - and to me, that is just the carcass of a shark, it's strangely beautiful, but so is any sardine lying flat and gleaming at a fishmonger's block - perhaps, to me, even more so - you see? I have now attached my own personal meaning and interpretation, and find a bloody £1 sardine more meaningful than a £1m embalmed shark - and who could argue against it?)

isabel monteirohttp://firstname.lastname@example.com


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Margutta 54 From EUR 290,-
Via Margutta 54 00187, Rome, Italy
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In 1855 the owner?s great-grandfather built the buildings which encircle the square as homes and studios for painters and sculptors. There is even a commemorative etching that reads Studi Di Pittura e Scultura (Painting and Sculpture Studios) located on the façade of the main building.
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The studio suite is equipped with a wet bar.
Food & beverage
Breakfast is served in your room from 8am to 10:30am.
Area information
It is situated on the famous Via Margutta, near Via del Babuino and the Spanish Steps.
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Check-in before 18:00.
Please mention your arrival time if you are coming after 18:00.
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Cancellation Policy: If cancelled up to 2 days before date of arrival, no fee will be charged.
If cancelled later or in case of no-show, the first night will be charged.
Children and Extra Bed Policy: All children are welcome.
All children under 3 years stay free of charge when using existing bedding.
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Margutta 54 From EUR 290,-
Via Margutta 54 00187, Rome, Italy
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Your reservation is absolutely secure. All personal data is encrypted and will be processed in a secure way. 2hotel.nl takes the privacy of your personal data very serious. Your personal information will only be used to process your booking. 2hotel.nl will not charge you any reservation fees for making this booking, nor charge your credit card. You will simply pay for your stay at the hotel. Cancellation is free of charge; provided you adhere to the notification period stated in the hotel cancellation policy (see "Hotel Policies" under Overview ).


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This is another story about Roy when he worked as a zookeeper at the prestigious NYC Bronx Zoo.
Roy's Wolf Pack
Roy used a large knife he had just sharpened to cut through the muscles and tendons. When he hit bone, he pressed down harder until a sudden dull crack told him that he had cut the leg in half. He did the same to the other leg and then continued to dismantle the rest of the body into small pieces. He cut up three more chickens the same way and threw the parts along with the guts, lungs, hearts, and livers into a large pail. After two weeks Roy had become quite skilled preparing food for carnivores. The pail of chicken parts was for the wolves.
The fresh, raw chicken had a distinctive odor. It smelled as only fresh-gutted chickens do. It wasn't offensive; it was kind of natural and somewhat satisfying. Roy wondered if ancient instincts from hunter-gatherer ancestors were influencing his feeling about fresh raw meat as he put three large scoops of Canine Multi Vitamins mix and into an industrial grade mixer along with twenty pounds of ground beef and turned it on.
As the machine hummed, Roy looked out the zoo kitchen window at the sun-flooded plaza between the Large Cat Building, where he was preparing food, and the Administration building. It was 9:30 am and the zoo would open in half an hour. Roy was sure the good weather would bring a large crowd of visitors. He turned off the mixer and portioned the meat into six large meatballs about the size of softballs, one each for the zoo's wolves. Roy loaded the meatballs, chicken, and a bag of commercial wolf chow onto a little cart and guided it through the kitchen door into the interior of the building viewing area.
Roy pushed the rattling food cart by the cages of lions, tigers, leopards, jaguars, and pumas. He waved and greeted each cat by its name as he passed its cage. They impatiently paced back and forth while watching him intently; they were eager to get their morning meal, and Roy loved feeding and caring for them.
After the wolves were fed in another part of the sprawling zoo, Roy planned to return to help the other keepers prepare slabs of fortified meat for the big cats. Little did he know that this beautiful morning held an unusual adventure for him, one that would drastically interrupt his normal schedule.
Each summer, and during weekends and holidays, Roy worked as a temporary zookeeper at the Bronx Zoo in NYC. He loved working with animals and hoped to make it a career, possibly as a zoo curator or in wildlife management. Those thoughts were running through his mind as he pushed the food cart through the building and out the front door into the bright sunshine.
It was then he saw six shaggy gray shapes. Roy shook his head and looked again; the wolves were still there, sitting in a little group on the lawn in front of the building. Roy was shocked. He wondered how they could have escaped from their cage and then found their way across the zoo to the Large Cat Building. The wolves had never been to the building before and had no idea this was were their meals were prepared. Roy had a good understanding about animal senses. Animals had a keen sense of smell and hearing, far superior to humans. They lived out their lives in a different perceptual world than did humans. The human sense of smell is no longer a critical sense upon which survival depended. Smell might lead a child to a fresh batch of chocolate cookies, but canines' sense of smell is only rivaled by the butterfly's ability to find a mate sensing rare molecules of sexual hormone over many square miles. Wolves and even dogs live in an enriched world of odors, humans cannot even begin to appreciate.
Tonga, the alpha male wolf, named after the Alaskan National Park, and his mate, Spring, who was born in the spring three years ago, cautiously advanced toward Roy and his food cart, sniffing the air. The others stood cautiously behind them. Roy knew they smelled the meat in his cart and were hungry.
Tonga was an unusually large wolf, over 150 pounds, and was in the prime of his life. Many times Roy watched him display his dominance over the other wolves. He never hurt them but he was so ferocious and intimidating that no pack member ever seriously questioned his leadership. They crouched in submission or rolled over on their backs while Tonga stood over them baring his huge teeth.
Roy knew the wolves by name and talked to them every day as he feed them. He made a point to drop by their enclosure several times a day to check on them and give them little treats. They were always there waiting for him with eager yelps of recognition and anticipation.
Roy thought fast. If he rushed back into the building to phone for help, the wolves might tear apart the food cart or disappear into the Zoo grounds and possibly escape into the city. He had to keep them together and lead them back to their cage before they got into trouble. He had to do something fast, before the zoo opened and visitors started flooding in through the gates.
"Well, hello Tonga and hello Spring. What are you doing here? How did you get out of your cage and find your way across the zoo to greet me?"
Roy knew the wolves were primarily keying in on his body language and tone of voice than the actual words he spoke. As top predators, they could easily sense fear and confusion so, although his heart was beating fast, he tried to be act calmly and confidently.
The wolves crouched as if ready to rush the cart, or run away, Roy couldn't tell for sure. They watched him nervously and Roy feared they were about to take off. He reached into his pail and grabbed a handful of chicken parts. He threw one to Tonga and Spring. They pounced on the morsels and after one crunch or two, gulped them down. The other wolves advanced behind their leaders making soft begging wines. Roy pushed his food cart along the sidewalk toward the wolf and bear dens on the far side of the zoo, hoping the wolves would follow him back to their dens. They did to Roy's relief. Tonga and Spring taking the lead and the others, following.
Every so often, Roy stopped and dropped more chicken pieces for Tonga and Spring, and scattered a handful of wolf chow to the other four wolves. The morsels were gobbled up as soon as they hit the ground. Tonga sniffed the bucket and tried to get his nose into the pail of chicken but Roy put his hand on his huge, coarse gray head and gently pushed him down. It was the first time he had ever touched a wolf and it thrilled him. He could hardly believe what he had done. Tonga didn't seem to mind the rebuff and padded along beside Roy like a dog, with the rest of the pack following.
As he walked, Roy talked to the wolves with a calm voice like he had done so often with other wild animals. "Common guys, come along with me and I'll give you a nice treat. I got plenty of chicken for you." Roy knew they understood he meant them no harm. He knew wolves are highly social animals and if they accepted him as a temporary leader, they would follow him back to their cage. It seemed to be working; the wolves followed him as if he was their leader.
On their way across the Zoo grounds, Roy's little parade attracted the attention of other keepers and zoo staff. Roy hoped they wouldn't interfere and spook the pack. Fortunately, they realized the critical situation, and did not approach or shout to him. They watched silently in amazement, well aware of what Roy was attempting to do. A few keepers followed behind at a safe distance to offer help if needed.
Roy felt like the Pied Piper of Hamlin, only wolves were following him instead of children. He was relieved that his plan was working until he noticed two wolves leaving the pack and running on ahead. His nose told him why. He smelled hot dogs.
A small zoo concession stand, twenty yards ahead, had hotdogs on the grill, getting ready for zoo visitors. Roy threw a chicken part at the roving wolves and tried to regain their attention. "Hey you guys, get back here to our parade. Leave those hotdogs alone."
The runaway wolves stopped for the treats and then reluctantly returned to Roy's little parade. Roy was grateful that Tonga and Spring remained at his side as they hurried past the concession stand. Roy chuckled to himself as he noticed a girl's wide-eyed face peering out at them over the top of the concession stand counter.
As the parade approached the den area Roy realized his biggest challenge was about to occur. In order to reach the wolf enclosure, he would have to lead the wolves right past the bear habitats. The bears were all out at the front of their cages waiting to be fed as Roy approached with his contingent of wolves. The bear's keeper was throwing loaves of vitamin and calcium fortified bread to the grizzlies and was surprised when the bears stopped feeding and stood up on their hind legs. The bears sniffed the air and made nervous woofing sounds.
Roy was worried. As expected, the wolves naturally reacted to the bears. They stopped and bristled at the challenge from the bears. Roy heard low growls coming from the pack as they watched the two big grizzlies. He tried to distract his pack with tidbits of beef burger. Fortunately for Roy, the wolves couldn't resist the tasty morsels, turned their backs on the bears, and swarmed back around the cart. Relieved to have regained their attention, he coaxed them past the excited bears by rewarding them every few yards and by keeping their attention with his calm but authoritative one-sided conversation.
Roy's parade made it passed the other bear dens without incident and finally reached the Gray Wolf Habitat Area. It consisted of over two acres of boulders and trees stretching across a gentle slope. A little stream cascaded down the slope and splashed into a small pool in front of the fence and visitor viewing area. It was a nice comfortable habitat for the wolves, better than a barren cage, but nothing like their huge natural range in the wild.
It didn't take long for Roy to figure out how the wolves escaped. A large dead tree had fallen during the night and landed on the ten-foot high fence surrounding the enclosure. The fence remained intact under the weight of the tree but the wolves must have used the tree as a ramp up to the top of the fence and over. All they had to do was jump down to the ground and they were free. Roy guessed that they were hungry and took off in the direction from which Roy and their food appeared every day. Somehow, they used their noses to find the zoo kitchen in the Large Cat House.
Roy laughed to himself as he pushed his cart up to the locked gate of the enclosure. The wolves surrounded him as he fumbled with the lock in his haste. Tonga nuzzled his arm like a big dog begging for a treat. Roy looked down at his huge head and intelligent eyes that showed no signs of aggression. He knew the great wolf could be ferocious and intimidating if his leadership was questioned. However, for now he was at Roy's side acting like a happy dog. Roy knew I would be enthralled to hear this story; and sister Millie would have wished she could have joined the wolf parade.
Roy opened the gate and scattered the wolf chow into the enclosure. He threw the remaining chicken parts into the rocks and bushes. The wolves rushed by Roy almost knocking him over and seemed glad to be back in their familiar home territory. They were eager to get in and scavenge up their share of food.
Roy pulled the food cart out of the cage and shut the door behind him. Other keepers were approaching from all directions. The Zoo Director and Veterinarian had been alerted and pulled up in a little golf cart. They immediately saw the tree and understood the necessity of removing it before the wolves escaped again. After the wolves finished eating, they were lured back into their indoor den with the remaining beef burgers balls while the grounds crew removed the fallen tree.
Roy's story of the wolf pack and his Pied Piper parade quickly spread throughout the zoo. There was much of nervous laughter and relief that the incident was over, and there were no casualties. The zoo opened on time and no one was the wiser.
Later in the day, after Roy finished his other chores, he returned to the wolves with a bucket of meat scraps. The wolves rushed down to the fence to greet their friend and get his treats. Roy stood close to the fence and scratched a few muzzles as if nothing had happened that morning.
The wolf exodus story never leaked out to the newspaper so the zoo was spared the unfavorable publicity. Roy never told the story to anyone outside the zoo except to his family. Sister Millie could not keep the secret and blabbed about Roy's wolf adventure to her friends at school because she was so proud of her big brother. Fortunately, no teachers and few of her friends believed her. I added the story to the many others in my journal. Eventually they would become a book about my son's adventures with animals. I knew kids would love the stories as much as I did.