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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56922026526427305922018-04-10T05:05:07.622-07:00Raising the Rosebushes...Adventures in ParenthoodLydia firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-39552296961192784922017-08-08T19:34:00.001-07:002017-08-08T19:34:10.638-07:00
New beginnings.

The beginning of a new school year always sparks a lot of emotions for parents. It's a fresh start, a new beginning, and just one more sign that your baby is growing up. There are few first days of school bigger than Kindergarten. It's the first, first day!

When Emma started Kindergarten I was so excited for her. She was eager to learn and ready to go. She was so grown up and independent at 5. She was confident and outspoken. She still is really. I never worried for one second how she would handle school. I never worried if she would be able to find her classroom on her own or eat her lunch on her own. I never worried that she wouldn't be able to undo her belt by herself. She loved to write, color, and couldn't wait to read. School just suited her. School has proven to always be easy for her.

Jax on the other hand..... He is the complete opposite. He has no interest in learning unless it's about stars, planets, weather or Japan. I'm not entirely sure the boy knows his alphabet and I can barely get him to write his name. I know he probably does know those things but he's too hardheaded to show me. He still pretends he can't put on pants by himself! I worry he won't be able to open things at lunch and is so stubborn he won't ask for help. I worry that his temper will get him in trouble. I worry that he will be the class clown. I worry that he won't be able to undo his belt and he'll pee in his pants. Heck, I worry he'll get so distracted and forget to ask to go pee if he needs too. I worry that school will be hard for him or that he will struggle.

Is he really ready for this? Am I ready for this? Maybe he should stay home one more year? Maybe I've babied him way too much? Maybe he just pretends to not be able to do stuff because he knows I'll do it? Maybe I'm just not ready for him to grow up.

You see he is my sweet surprise. He is the boy that God knew I needed before I knew I needed him. He was my wonderful distraction in some of my darkest days. Being pregnant with and having Jax just over a month after losing Maddie in many ways kept me from completely losing my sh*t in those first couple of months. I know logically that makes no sense because of the postpartum roller coaster having a child usually is but somehow he kept me grounded, motivated and focused. So maybe I'm not ready for him to be independent? Maybe I need him more than he knows. Maybe that's why this first, first day of school is really hard on this momma.

Tomorrow, on his first, first day we will both grow up and let go just a tiny bit. There is also a strong possibility that one of us will "ugly cry".

Lydia Rosebushhttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-28546367366851560892017-07-09T19:08:00.002-07:002017-07-09T19:09:46.059-07:00Language Barrier

When you are a visitor in a foreign land you expect some language difficulty but in many parts of the world you can at least read the letters and try to figure it out. In Japan their letters look like lines and squiggles. Very cool lines and squiggles but lines and squiggles nonetheless.

When we landed in Japan we spoke exactly twelve words of Japanese and ten of those were the numbers 1-10. Thanks Hwang's Martial Arts Judo classes for preparing us with numbers 1-10! We could read exactly zero words! Luckily for us, Japan seems to really cater to foreigners. Almost every important sign is written in Japanese and in English! For awhile I had Jax convinced I could read Japanese before Emma informed him that the signs also had English words on them. Thanks for spoiling my fun kiddo! All of the train announcements are also in English too which made things really easy.

One of the funniest language barrier conversations that we had was with sweet Japanese girl working at Disneyland. She commented on our shirts and tried to make small talk. Our foreignness clearly stuck out like sore thumbs. It could have been my blonde haired, blue eyed daughter, or my Goliath sized bald husband, or the fact that when anyone spoke to us we all looked confused. She asked where we were from. My mother-in-law responded to the girl's question with "Ohio". The girl stopped midsentence, gave us a small bow, and said "Oh, Good Morning, How are you?" Now this was a little odd because we had been having a conversation with her in broken English so a "good morning" right in the middle didn't really fit. She then asked again where we were from and my mother-in-law again responded with "Ohio". The girl looked puzzled but again said "Good morning". Finally, my brother-in-law realized what was happening and intervened. It turns out that state of "Ohio" sounds exactly like the Japanes word "Ohayo" which means "Good Morning". After Mike explained that to all of us we seemed much less crazy to this poor girl. We also tried to explain to the young girl that we were from Kentucky. She had never heard of Kentucky so Fred asked her if she'd heard of KFC. There are KFC's all over Japan so she knew what KFC was. Fred said we were from there. No one bothered to clarify this so this poor girl probably thinks we are from a chicken restaurant in the US (and not even a good chicken restaurant).

Another interesting place to not speak or read the language is a restaurant. If we had not had Mike with us we would have starved. If the restaurant doesn't have an English menu then you are left to chance ordering by picture. Totally risky if you're not an adventurous eater, you're picky, or have a food allergy. Japanese restaurants all have displays of their typical dishes out front. It makes everything either look really good or the half a squid on the place totally scares you off. Again, eating in Japan is just odd if you don't speak the language.

In the end we learned the the major phrases. Excuse me, thank you, I'm sorry, good morning and good afternoon. Enough to get us by or at least get someone's attention to ask for help! We even used our knowledge of the numbers 1-10 while at Disney. There were roku people in our group. The Japanese people are so friendly and willing to help that it made the language barrier way less stressful! Oh and my brother-in-law speaks some Japanese so he kept us alive and kept us from embarrassing ourselves.Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-26050404038570024702017-07-05T06:05:00.000-07:002017-07-05T06:05:08.890-07:00The Morning Commute

You've probably heard that Tokyo Japan is one of the most populous cities in the world. That is really a hard concept to imagine, that is until you board a morning commuter train into the city. If you live in New York, Chicago, or Atlanta you might think you've seen a lot of commuters but I promise you that you haven't seen anything like a Tokyo train or the Tokyo train station.

One thing that Jax wanted to do while in Japan was take a train. His Uncle Mikey was happy to make that happen. We took our first train to dinner one night. Let's call it a test run. Mike helped us dumb Americans figure out how to purchase train tickets and navigate the train station. Seriously, we were like herding cats through the station and getting us on the right train. It was late evening when we took that first train so it really wasn't super crowded and we only went like two stops. We made it to dinner and back and no one was harmed or left behind. Success!

Mike might have been over confident about our train taking ability because he decided that we should take the train to Tokyo Disneyland the next day. It was a two hour train ride or a two hour car ride so our options were limited. This would be a major test for the dumb American train novices. This trip would involve an hour and twenty minute train ride from the train station nearest to Mike's house into the heart of Tokyo and then a train change for another thirty minute train trip to the Disney station. Oh and for added fun we were going to do this during the height of morning rush hour.

Mike helped us purchase train cards so that we could load our money for train fares onto it for easier commuting. We made the mistake of not purchasing cards for the kids because we (Mike included), thought we could use our cards to pay for the kids. Apparently the card can only be swiped once for one person to board the train. This fact will come in handy later.

When we boarded our train it was standing room only so we got the typical Japanese commuter experience. Poor Fred was the largest guy on the train and at least a head taller than everyone! The train was filled with students in school uniforms and Japanese workers all in their work attire. On a side note: I will say that the majority of Japanese are better dressers than most Americans when it comes to work. Most men wear black or blue slacks with a well fitted white or light blue dress shirt. Women all dress very conservatively with long shirts, a nice blouse, and conservative shoes. All in very muted colors like khakis, black or navy. It's almost like the work day uniform.

The trains in Japan are strangely quiet. No one talks and if they do it's almost in whispers. Many people spend their train ride looking at their phone or catching a nap. There are signs and announcements asking that all phones be silenced and that you refrain from talking on the phone. It's a rule that no one breaks. You can imagine how well the loud Americans with little Rosebushes went over on a quiet train! One other observation that I made while on the train is how orderly they seem to be. You would expect that a train stuffed with 400 people would be semi-chaotic but everyone rushes on and off in a very orderly fashion. In the stations people quietly and politely stand in line waiting for the train. People are in a hurry but not so much that they would willingly be rude to each other. It was a nice change from the hustle and bustle of the USA. Train cleanliness was also astounding. The trains in Japan are so very clean unlike America where most trains smell mildly of urine or vomit at all times. There is no trash or graffiti on the trains either. The Japanese wouldn't dare leave trash on the train it's just part of their culture.

Our first train ride was long so we quickly learned as people got off and freed up seats that we needed to move quickly to grab one. After about the fifth stop we were all able to snag a seat for the remainder of the ride. When the train finally arrived in the Tokyo station we immediately started our trek from one train to the other. We had fifteen minutes to travel about half a mile through one of the busiest mazes that you can imagine. The train station is wall to wall people moving in all directions. Again, all moving in an orderly fashion as quickly as possible to their destination. There are also very specific train station rules that are unwritten but ALWAYS followed. For example, on the escalators if you are going to stand you stand on the left in a single file line so that people who wish to walk may make walk quickly on the right. Stairs and moving sidewalks are the same way; if you're slow keep left. Traversing the train station with two small children is extra special because at one point we were practically dragging them along. We were practically running and following Mike to the next train but we made it. The second train to Disney was significantly less crowded so we were able to sit comfortably on that one.

We made it to the station next to Disney and exited the train. We proceeded to the station exit and Fred scanned his card and sent Emma through the turnstile, then he scanned it again for himself. The little gates closed indicating there was an issue with money or the card. So Emma, who is outside the station and Fred who is inside the station had to go to the window and figure out what was up. I was able to exit just fine and so was Fred's Mom so we waited while Mike, Fred, and the kids sorted out the train fare. Remember when I said the cards we bought could only be used by one person, this is where we found that out. In an effort to make the dumb Americans feel less dumb the train station employee let the kids go through without a ticket. Yep, my kids freeloaded all the way to Disney. I'm sure that's against the law.

At the end of the day we repeated the scenario in reverse back to Mike's home, except we paid for the kids this time! They kids also passed out on the train on the way back because Disney is tiring! The next day we did it all again but this time Fred and I managed to buy our own tickets and load our card without Mike's assistance! We even bought the kids tickets correctly! We were practically Japanese at this point! We knew our stops and what train line to take without Mike's help as well. I was so impressed with our train taking new knowledge. In a truly expert train taker move, when we boarded our long train home at the end of the night Mike used his butt as a blocker to score six seats for us all to sit down together. This is a feat greater than a miracle and only one Japanese man was almost sat on during this process.

In the end we all survived the trains in Tokyo but I'm not sure that we are cut out for Tokyo mass transit. I'm also not sure that Tokyo mass transit could handle the little Rosebushes on a regular basis. Lydia Rosebushhttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-88379442427194263512017-07-03T06:48:00.001-07:002017-07-03T06:49:54.484-07:00Doing your business

There are so many great things I could write about our trip to Japan but today I'm going to focus on toilets. Yep, you read that right, this whole entry is about toilets! Arguably, Japan has the greatest toilets in the entire world. It's really one of the things that I will miss the most about being on the other side of the world.

Like most children, as soon as we stepped off of the plane from our glorious 13 hour flight, Emma needed to use the bathroom. We located the nearest bathroom and Emma rushed into the stall. I heard her yell, " MOM! You've got to see this toilet!" The Japanese lady in the bathroom started laughing and asked if she had ever been to Japan. I responded with a laugh and an obvious no. Emma continued to go on and on from behind the stall door about how many buttons this toilet had. Finally it was my turn to go. I entered the stall and this is what awaited me.

You see, this sucker has an entire control panel! It really is overwhelming at first. There are options for everything! This particular model isn't even one of the fancy ones. During our time in Japan I encountered toilets with lots of options. Almost every toilet had a "privacy" option which means your toilet makes rainforest type sounds to cover up any sounds that your bum make when you're doing your business. There were bidet options for both your backside and your lady bits. You could also control the flow at which the bidet squirted your parts. The fancy toilets had a drying option that would blow you bits dry after some bidet action. The really fancy toilets has a heated seat feature, not really necessary in the summer but cool nonetheless. Now, I remind you that these are PUBLIC toilets so everyone gets to enjoy all the cool features. Sometimes the toilets even had a futuristic control panel on the wall to display all of their glorious options and in case you were overwhelmed, they had instructions which were in both Japanese and English!

Going to the bathroom in Japan was a good time in and of itself but going to the bathroom with your 5 year old son in tow is extra special! Most of the time the women's bathroom is cleaner than the men's so my littlest Rosebush likes to tag along with me. I usually let him do his business and then wait while I do mine. Little Rosebush poops a lot, like 3 times a day. TMI, I know but hey, you're already reading a blog about toilets so what the heck. He sat down to do his business and like every curious little boy he started pushing toilet buttons. He squirted himself in the butt and squealed with fright. "What the heck? The toilet just squirted water on my butt!" I explained to him that was a feature that some people like and he said that he absolutely did not. He finished his business and then it was my turn. As I used the bathroom my little guy pushed every button on the wall. I got squirted in all the unmentionables while my little guy just laughed. Good times!

We got used to the fancy pants toilets in most public bathrooms but occasionally, you would run into a bathroom that was a little old school to say the least.

This my friends is called a squat toilet. It's basically exactly what it look like, a porcelain hole on the floor that you are expected to pee (or even worse) into. Now, I wasn't particularly excited about this idea but it drove Emma to tears. She was so freaked out by this that she actually cried. She was so nervous about peeing on her pants. Apparently my kid is a city girl who has never peed in the woods! It took about 10 minutes of coaching and a demonstration to convince her that she could do it. After a mild anxiety attack she finally used the bathroom and no pants or shoes were harmed. Thank goodness she just had to pee! Squatty Potties as I called them were really not my favorite because lets face it, I don't like to be any closer to a public bathroom floor than is absolutely necessary. Emma wanted to experience Japanese culture while we were in Japan and it doesn't get more Japanese than this!

It's a little disappointing to come back to the USA and the fanciest toilet we have is one that flushes itself. Farewell Japanese toilets, until we meet again!

 Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-54539171689165534782017-07-02T04:01:00.000-07:002017-07-02T04:29:21.654-07:00I've decided to do a quick blog series about our international adventure. If you know my family you know that it will be packed with chaos and hilarity.

My kids are pretty much professional travelers. They have the security process down at the airport better than most adults. They know how to board a plane, find their seats, shove their bags under the seat, and buckle in. They typically do pretty well with entertaining themselves for the duration of the flight. It's really like second nature for them.

Despite their professional status, absolutely nothing can prepare you or your children for the kind of torture that 13 hours on a metal tube cruising through the sky. We have a habit of measuring time in Scooby Doo episodes. It helps the kids get a better idea of just how long something is. Until this trip Emma's longest plane trip was eight Scooby's or 4 hours. Jaxon's was only about four Scooby's. It was inconceivable to the kids that our flight to Tokyo was an astounding twenty-six Scooby's.

We tried to prep them as best we could for the long haul flight but if you know the little Rosebushes you know that still and quiet is something they don't do very well. In fact many people called me completely insane for even attempting this flight with kids! I was petrified of what would happen when a mid-flight meltdown occured. I did everything I could think of to prep them. I let them pack their own carry on bags. I bought some new plane friendly games and toys specifically for the trip. I added some new games to their iPads in the hopes that something new and fresh would keep their attention. I knew the airplane would have seat back entertainment so they could watch movies. I also brought some melatonin just in case the kids or myself needed a little help taking a nap.

We boarded our plane at 12:25 in the afternoon and I was the lucky one that got to sit between both my kids in the very back row, in the middle section of a 777. Fred and his mother were crammed next to each other, next to the window, and an extremely large man just across the aisle. After seeing the aforementioned very large man, I was sort of thankful to be stuck with the kids. The kids settled into their seats and immediately started playing with the seatback entertainment. There was a large selection of movies for them to watch and even games to play. Crisis #1 occured before we even left the gate when Jaxon's screen froze. Luckily it was only temporary and after all the preflight announcements it came back to life. As soon as we were in the air Jax needed to pee! He is obsessed with airplane bathrooms so I totally expected 47 bathroom breaks during the 13 airborne hours. Lucky for us, our last row seats put us next to the bathrooms because my guesstimate was pretty accurate.

I had the forethought to request special children's meals for the kids when I booked the tickets. This was the best decision I have ever made. The kids meals turned out to be things my very picky children would actually eat. The first meal was a hot dog, the snack was a ham sandwich, and breakfast before landing was pancakes. Honestly, I was slightly jealous of the pancakes. I was worried the kids wouldn't eat airplane food but thankfully this was a non-issue.

I had hoped the kids would sleep some on the plane but no luck. Emma slept maybe five minutes and Jax finally dozed off about an hour from Tokyo. In their defense, this was the most turbulent flight I've ever been on. We bounced around a lot for most of the flight. Even the flight attendants seemed thrown off by the constant turbulence. Every time I'd settle in to close my eyes my head would bounce off the seat. I will say that the flight crew and flight attendants on this flight were very amazing given how rough the flight was, it can't be easy to do these long haul flights.

I did manage to watch four movies on the flight which is probably the most movies I've seen all year. Jax watched Trolls three times. Emma watched several movies until her screen froze about 4 hours from Tokyo. This caused crisis #2! Despite the bag full of things she'd brought to do and the iPad with games and shows in it; she couldn't possibly function! She had a meltdown complete with tears because she was sooooooo bored. We played a few super competitive games of Uno and then I let her watch a movie on my screen while I tried to nap. There would be no napping though because Jax needed me to entertain him and take him to the bathroom several times. All in all, the kids were amazing given the fact that we were trapped in a very small space for a very long time. No one needed medication or a stiff drink! I'd call that success.

Finally, after 13 long hours it was wheels down at Narita airport in Tokyo! This is where the real fun begins. Stay tuned this week for more blog entries about visiting a country where you can't speak or read the language and your kids hate all the food!
Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-30630196635312568082016-12-03T18:14:00.000-08:002016-12-03T18:26:02.898-08:00This was a first. . .

Normally I am a pretty rational and level headed parent. Normally, I am the parent who welcomes disappointment for my children in certain circumstances because I know that disappointment is part of life. I believe this is a lesson best learned early. I know disappointment is how we grow and make ourselves better. I am usually the first Mom to say toughen up and get over it. I usually refuse to let my kids even say the words "that's not fair". I tell my kids that not everything in life is fair and they should learn it now. They know if they want something they have to work for it until they achieve it. I am the parent who hates sports leagues that don't keep score and give participation trophies past a certain age.
Today, was the day that something changed...
Let me give you a little back story first. You probably know that Emma is heavily involved in taekwondo and Judo. Yes, my kids kicks butt if I do say so myself. She's worked hard and is currently 2 belts away from her black belt. She has gone from 2 nights a week training to sometimes 3 or 4. She joined the demo team because she likes showing off her skills. She also joined the Dream Team. Dream Team is a special team for kids 8 and up to start learning to be leaders in class. Dream Team kids start to take on a bigger role. Emma asked if she could join in May even though she wasn't 8. She'd been doing TKD for a year and a half at that point so she was given the go ahead. She attended her Dream team classes faithfully each week since May. She only missed a few class here and there for vacations and things. Dream Team kids also test, like a belt test, for their place on Dream Team. There are several levels of achievement within Dream Team each having requirements that grow more difficult as you move up. Let's just say it's a big deal and to an 8 year old it's the world.
Emma has been studying her TKD handbook to learn her terminology, forms, and curriculum. She has really pushed herself. Today, was test day! She happily got up and showered at 5AM. So she could be on time. The test was from 7-12 and judging by the red faces and smell of sweat in the air at the end; I'd say it's pretty intense. Emma was testing for her first "level" on Dream Team which typically means a new uniform. The Dream Team uniform looks very similar to a black belt uniform and until today I had no idea just how much it meant to Emma. So, here's where this gets complicated. When you test for Dream Team and are above a certain belt level you simply aren't given a uniform because you will be getting a new black belt uniform within a year. I had explained that to Emma a hundred times before today. I assumed when I dropped her off that she knew, understood and was ok with this. Parents are not allowed to stay and watch the testing process but I assume she worked hard for 5 hours because she was one hot little girl when I got there. During the super cool ceremony at then end where they let each student know if they passed or not Emma was announced as having passed. She proudly walked down a line formed by all of her fellow students and shook hands with all the Masters, Instructors, and Team Leaders. Somehow there was a breakdown in communication and Emma and her friend were given uniforms and told to change. Emma did what she was told and emerged from the changing room with a new uniform on. I'm clearly confused because this wasn't supposed to happen. Maybe I missed something? Emma, ran back to the mats to join her class beaming with pride. This is when the mistake was discovered. Emma was then told that she couldn't keep the uniform because of all the reasons I mentioned before. Everyone was so kind, caring and encouraging to her. Everyone tried to make her feel better but it didn't work. She came to me sobbing. I knew ahead of time she wasn't supposed to get the uniform so I tried to remind her of that. She looked at me with her sad blue eyes and said "I know Mom. I thought that they made an exception for me and Ellie because we worked extra hard and never gave up. Just like they let us join before we were 8. Just like our black belt philosophies." Again, rational me tried to tell her to get over it because rules are rules. She said to me, "I know what they're saying Mom about getting a black belt uniform soon but THIS uniform is different. I earned THIS one too! They're not the same. I worked for this like I'm working for all my belts. I have nothing to show for my hard work now. I won't be a black belt for almost a year." I was so moved my her words that I cried with her. I cried for her! This was a disappointment that she truly couldn't understand. She used the logic that I've always taught her and this didnt seem to agree. In her 8 year old brain she sees her Dream Team and Black Belt uniforms as something totally separate. They don't connect for her and in her head they shouldn't. They are both separate achievements that she is working toward. The uniforms for each achievement may look similar but in her head they represent different things. You can easily become a black belt without doing Dream Team, why should she be limited to only one uniform. As I helped her change she continued to give me her reasons for being upset. She said that because other kids haven't been training as long as her and are lower belts she feels like she's being penalized for training longer. She said she couldn't start Dream Team earlier because of her age so this was not fair. After all she'll be a black belt before she turns 9!
Normally, this phrase makes me come unglued but as I listened to her reason and logic tears fell for her. I was sad that this was a disappointment that I couldn't make better. Maybe I cried because for once I knew she actually listens when I talk because she totally got what I had taught her. She thought in those moment when she was given a uniform that her hard work had more than paid off. She thought that despite the belt rank rule she had earned that uniform. Taekwondo is the first place she has seen hard work and determination pay off and today she felt betrayed by it. She felt betrayed by me too and that made me sad.
As a parent this was a tough day for me. I taught her this lesson about hard work and determination and one mistake blew up in my face. The mistake wasn't intentional at all and I'm sure no one anticipated how it would play out in an 8 year old head. I'm sure no one anticipated that she would think that one exception to a rule meant there could be more. I know I didn't think she would assume she could do so good that they would bend the rules. When I asked why she would assume this she said, "at tournament we were supposed to get Eagle, Dragon, or Tiger in our groups. Ellie and I were so good we both earned Eagle. No one had to get dragon!" How the heck can I argue with that? That's pretty deep thinking for an 8 year old.
This was a first for me. I've been betrayed by my own logic and parenting. I'm sure this isn't the first time she will be hugely disappointed and nothing I say will make it better but this might be the first time I listened to her and share the same disappointment now that understand where it come from.
If I have learned anything from her involvement in martial arts I have learned that this will not stop her, it probably won't even slow her down. I will hurt for awhile and I will allow her to hurt as long as she needs too. I know that her instructors and leaders will work to lift her up and encourage her. I know that they will keep pushing her. I just hope this disappointment doesn't damage her sweet innocence and trust for the future. Lydia Rosebushhttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-57470060016601736942016-10-03T08:36:00.001-07:002016-10-03T08:36:33.256-07:00Normally I write about my kids and the wild things they do. But today I want to write about me. I want to write about all the cool things that have happened over the last month or so. It's really been the culmination of God's work over some time but it's amazing to stand outside myself and see all of this come full circle. Warning; this is long because I have to give you lots of background to make my point.

Let me start back when Fred and I first became Fred and I. You see we were young, dumb, wild college kids. We did everything young dumb college kids do. I met him on a sort of blind date at a gay bar. Yes, you read that right, I met my husband at a gay bar. That's a whole different story, for a whole different blog. We dated for a while and decided toward the end of college that we'd been dating long enough we should probably get hitched. So we did. I moved from my parents house to his tiny one bedroom apartment with all my worldly possessions and a 4 year old special needs daughter. At this point Fred had already accepted Maddie as his own and we planned for the future. Church and God didn't really factor into our plans. It wasn't that we didn't believe in God we just weren't really worried about what God had to say about our lives. Did I mention that we were young and dumb? We just carried on through life doing our own thing. We worked opposite shifts for a while to make sure someone could be with Maddie. Sure it wasn't fun but she was our life. We moved to another city, it didn't work out so back home we came. Eventually we decided we might want to have another kiddo, so we decided to get to work on that. Emma Catherine joined the Rosebush clan on October 9, 2008 and we were the Rosebush party of 4. Things were good! We continued living our lives according to what we wanted to do. We even got the sweetest surprise in 2011. We were going to welcome another baby to our family. I was pregnant once again.

Our lives would change drastically on January 17, 2012 in a way we were never prepared for. I started my day like any other day. I got up, got dressed, kissed my husband, kissed my girls and went to work. Hours later into my work day got a call from a frantic, screaming, incoherent Fred. He asked me to call 911 because he went to get Maddie out of bed and she wasn't breathing. I don't know why he called me instead of 911. The only explanation I have is that he was in shock and my number was on speed dial. I called 911 and left my office. I don't even know if I said anything to anyone. I just left in a full sprint. I was nearly 8 months pregnant so I'm sure it was more of a waddle. I left my job on Chamberlain Lane and headed toward PRP. I called Fred back to see if EMS arrived. He didn't answer, a policeman did. This poor policeman asked me to pull over and I refused. I told him I wasn't stopping until I got home to my family. He politely suggest that I stop for a moment and I refused. I asked him to just tell me what was going on. He said the words that I had dreaded since Madison was born. He told me over the phone, while driving 80 on the Watterson, that my daughter was gone. There is no way to be prepared for that. All the breathe in my lungs left me instantly and a piece of my heart died. I somehow managed to ask how Fred and Emma were and he said they were ok. I hung up. I screamed at the top of my lungs in my car. I cried. I called everyone I could think of and some how managed to tell them all that Maddie was gone. I have no idea how I got home. NONE! I was on autopilot. When I got home I was numb. I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. I just sat down. I was met with probably 5 police officers who were nothing but kind to me. They even called one of their chaplains to come sit with us. The paramedics were worried about me because I was obviously super pregnant and my blood pressure was through the roof. Everyone was so kind that day. The next few hours and days were a blur as we prepared to have a funeral for our child. It was rough. I don't know how we made it, I really don't. People were in and out and so very helpful and I was probably a fat pregnant jerk because I was so consumed with guilt and anger that I didn't appreciate any of it.

After everything settled down I was so angry at God. How could he take Maddie away from us? In fact I was more than angry, I was pissed! Why would God bless us with a sweet little boy on the way and then take Maddie away? Why didn't I get to say goodbye? I had not time or use for God. I was angry. I'm not sure why I was so angry at God since he really had no place in my life in the previous few years. I'm not sure what I expected or why my anger was directed at God.

Fred and I carried on with life the best you can when you lose a child. We welcomed Jaxon in March of 2012 just 6 weeks after we buried Maddie. It was so bittersweet to welcome a new baby while mourning the loss of another. Again, I'm not sure how we made it.

In the fall of 2012 we thought it was important for Emma to have some normalcy in her life and hang out with other kids her age so we enrolled her in preschool. We sent her to Christian Academy of Louisville, where she continues even now. While at school she would learn Bible songs and Bible stories. She would come home and tell us these stories and ask us questions. She started to ask to go to church. Again, being the angry pissed off person I was I wasn't really interested in going to church but I thought it might be good for her. So Fred and I started looking for a church to go to. I was skeptical and kind of a church snob. Some churches were too big, some were too small. Some weren't friendly and others the friendliness felt insincere. I was frustrated and ready to give up. Until one day we decided to try this Baptist church down the street. We pass it everyday, and they just built a new sanctuary so why not try it. We showed up on Sunday morning with both kids in tow. Neither one of them were super excited about church. We were immediately greeted by a lady named Pam. Pam opened the door for us and welcomed us in. We must have looked really confused because she asked if it was our first time here. We said yes and she asked us if we wanted to take our kids to the nursery. Now, if you've every lost a child you start to become super overprotective of your remaining children. You rarely leave your kids with anyone! When Pam asked the nursery question it seemed ok so we said sure. She left her post at the door and she walked with us all the way to the nursery. She could have easily just point us in the right direction and moved on but she didn't. I don't know why this was so important but it was. She seemed genuine and seemed to care that we were there. Weird, I hadn't gotten that before. Now, Pam still talks to us weekly at church and probably doesn't even know that she was the reason that we came back the next week. Her kindness that day changed something for me. We've never left that church. It instantly be came home.

We slowly decided to get involved. We started in the nursery because it seemed only fair I left my screaming boy with them each week I should help out. We've now started teaching Sunday School, helping on Wednesday nights, and coaching upwards. It's been so rewarding working with the kids and seeing them grow. We've met so many awesome Christian people at Beechland. They've welcomed us with open arms and made us family. Last year when our home was broken into right before Christmas the church rallied around us. We were overwhelmed with financial support and prayer from people we've barely met. I asked why would people be so kind, the only possible answer: GOD. This was the first time I really got it. I really saw God's hand working.

Just this month Emma decided to go forward at church and get baptized. It was such an awesome, moving, overwhelming experience to see your child make such an important decision. Words can't express how grateful I am to our church for helping her to this decision.

Shortly after Emma's baptism Fred got a letter in the mail letting him know that some one in the church nominated him to become a deacon. Now, if you've know Fred for any amount of time you would have instantly laughed at this notion. Fred and I discussed it and decided that he should follow through on this. He went through the obvious questions. Who the heck would nominate me? Why me? Do I really want to do this? I encouraged him to prayerfully consider this opportunity. I reminded him that sometime others see things in us that we do not see. I reminded him that he has an opportunity to be a leader in our church into the future. Like all good husbands do, he agreed with me. He decided to follow through on his nomination and last night he was ordained a deacon by the church.

Last night we attended the ordination service for the new deacons. There were 5 awesome, faithful, Christian men who stood in front of our church last night and gave their testimony. I mean, really awesome men! I wasn't really prepared for how emotional their testimonies would be, including my husband's and I know his! After all the men spoke, their wives were invited to join them, and the church lined up to pray with each man (and wife) individually. It was so powerful. If felt so awesome! It was amazing to see the entire church come together and lift these guys up. It was moving to see and hear how much Fred (and myself) mean to our church family. It's weird when you're just cruising through life, doing what you feel like you should be doing, you can touch people.
I left there feeling energized and touched, probably more faithful than ever. I'm so proud of my husband and look forward to awesome things to come for him. I felt that he joined a brotherhood of amazing men last night and I can't wait to see the positive things they do for the church. God is blessing Beechland and my family. I'm so glad I got to see that last night.

Lydia Rosebushhttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-7952027789565187462016-07-08T09:30:00.000-07:002016-07-08T09:30:07.496-07:00School has been out for over a month and in another month school will start again. Time flies when you're having fun I suppose.
One month from today is the back to school drop in at the kids school. We will be dropping off the supplies and meeting teachers. I know the teachers that Jaxon will have because they've been around awhile. They all know him as well because he's been in the preschool program for awhile. Emma's teacher on the other hand is a complete wildcard. I know nothing about her. I feel like I should greet her with a gift. You know, welcome to the best second grade class of your career kind of thing. We love our school because many of the kids have been together since they were 3. They have grown up together. This means going into a new grade with a new teacher it's usually the whole class vs. the teacher before she even knows it. This year is particularly exciting for Emma because this poor teacher will have Emma, her BFF Macie, and BFF Ellie in the same class. This is the first time the three amigos have had the same teacher since they were 3. This should be fun. I am only a little concerned about this. You see, I once witnessed Emma and Macie lead a revolt against their soccer coach over a water break. They led the team in protest and poor Coach Terry knew he'd met his match in those little girls. Emma and Ellie have been in TKD so long together their hands should be registered as deadly weapons. They constantly try to one up each other in a funny 7 year old way but if someone else tries to pick on the other they team up together. The three of them already know everything about everything and they will gladly tell you this. Most of the time they're pretty convincing too.
In all seriousness, it's really great to be part of a small school and watch the same kids grow up year after year. It's fun to watch their group dynamics change and grow. They are a tight knit little group. All of the kids are growing up to be kind, compassionate, well spoken, and opinionated little people. Given all the negative things going on in the world at this time it's my hope that one day these kids could change the world. So I'll pray for this new teacher. I'll pray for wisdom to fill their little heads with knowledge. I'll pray for strength because she's going to need it. I'll pray for her spirit as she guides these sweet kids in God's word. Last, I'll pray for patience because they will test her. She's helping to shape to future so may God bless her and protect her, as well as all teachers everywhere this school year.Lydia Rosebushhttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-60778698051792343642016-06-29T20:46:00.001-07:002016-06-29T20:46:26.577-07:00Happy Wednesday!

I'm not sure how you kicked off your day but mine started with a psychotic screaming 4 year old that didn't want to go to school. When I asked why he didn't want to go, his response was that it was stupid. He said he wanted me to go away so he could sleep! He screamed like I boiled him in acid and ran around the house. I wrestled him into his shirt and shorts. He promptly removed them. I finally got his shirt back on but he refused pants, socks, and shoes. I gave up and had Fred carry the little lunatic to the car. He had to fight him into the car seat and that took about 5 minutes of blood curdling screams. I'm sure my neighbors loved us this morning! Finally, about halfway down the street my half dressed kid calmed down and admitted defeat. Once we got to school he was a happy guy and we could finish getting dressed! He went into school like nothing had happened. Seriously this kid hates mornings.

I thought, wow my day can only get better from here. Right? Well my work day was pretty uneventful. Which in my line of work is unusual and a welcomed change. Time passesd quickly until it was time to pick up captain grumpy pants from school. I headed out to pick him up and my normal 5 minute drive turned into 25 minutes each way. I really don't know what they're doing on St. Andrew's Church Road but it needs to get done quickly because this detour is ridiculous! When I picked Jax up he wanted to go to GG's house. When I informed him I had other plans the banshee returned. He screamed, cried, and yelled most of the way home. Yay!

In a wonderful turn of events GG got home earlier than expected and invited grumpy over so he didn't have to endure another one of Emma's taekwondo classes. This gave me some welcomed one on one time with my #1 girl. We had a dinner date to McAllister's (where kids eat free M-Th after 4pm) before heading to TKD. As we were leaving we walked out the front door and headed to the car. Hold on, where's the car? Oh crap, someone's stolen my car! Emma taps me on the side just before my panic really kicks in and reminds me that we parked on the side of the building and went in the side door. Ooohh, duh, I knew that! False alarm! Who misplaces their car? Apparently, this girl!

After TKD I got to my mom's to pick up Jaxon. When I get there he is firing on all cylinders. He's bouncing off the walls and super loud. I notice he's drinking some sort of red liquid. My mom says, in a very serious voice, "I just gave him Hawaiian Punch. There's no caffeine in that. I don't know why he's so wired." Ummmm because one cup of Hawaiian Punch contains about 57 cups of sugar! Ok maybe not 57 cups, but a lot of sugar! Oh boy this should be fun to settle down!

We get home and the kids do their usual fighting routine until I send Emma to bed and take Jax to the bathroom to brush his teeth. As I am brushing the 57 cups of sugar off of his teeth he attempts to tell me something. I didn't understand much of what came out of his toothpaste filled mouth but it must have been funny because he started to laugh. In his hilariousness he managed to spit toothpaste right in my eye. Have you ever had toothpaste in your eye? Let me tell you that it BURNS! It burns like nothing I've ever felt. Water doesn't help, it just spreads the burning out. Eventually after water, rubbing, some tears, more rubbing and more water the burning subsides. If I'm blind in the AM we can blame the sensodyne.

FINALLY, I get the sugared up little monster to bed and can find a few minutes of peace. I actually have some work from today left to do BUT I'd rather share my day with you. I hope this made you smile and now I'm going to bed. Looking forward to what craziness tomorrow will bring.
Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-46435989405607579962016-06-26T18:29:00.001-07:002016-06-26T18:48:38.361-07:00

Warning: This is partially your standard mushy, lovey dovey, over the top anniversary post. It may contain some things that you didn't know and hopefully you'll find it a little funny

 Once upon a time I was a 19 year old college girl. I worked, went to class, and took care of my daughter. I really didn't need a lot of distraction in my life because my life was already complicated enough. I had a friend named Hamit that insisted he knew a guy that would be perfect for me. He suggested that I go out with him and a group of friends one night to meet this guy. Finally after a little persuasion I caved and agreed to go. I was the youngest of the group and the only one still under 21 at the time. Everyone wanted to go to a bar where they could drink, dance, and hang out, but since I was underage our choices were limited. They decided the best option, was a gay club. What better place for a straight girl to meet her future husband right? I went and met the mystery guy. We hit it off instantly. We started dating shortly after and I eventually fell in love with this guy. He was kind, caring, fun loving, and the most stubborn man I've ever encountered. I thought he'd be a worthy adversary and a fierce ally for life. Thankfully he fell in love with me too! He not only fell in love with me he fell in love with my daughter as well. He jumped into the role of dad without hesitation and that made me love him more.

 Our relationship was never perfect and it had many ups and downs but eventually he asked me to marry him. I had one condition on this request: we had to wait until I graduated from college to get married. He agreed to this condition and I agreed to marry him. I was barely 21 at the time and he was 26. Someone should have probably called is crazy. Some people probably did behind our backs. I mean, let's be real, you really don't know crap about yourself at 21.

 We got married in a little country church about a month and a half after I graduated from college. I put on a fancy white dress, took my daddy's arm and headed up an aisle to marry this guy that I met at 19 years old, at a gay club, on a blind date. Even saying that sounds crazy! He was at the end of the aisle wearing a tux, smiling, and nervous. His dad was there with him waiting to walk us through our wedding vows. We smiled, repeated words, held hands, exchanged rings, were pronounced husband and wife. We sealed our new union with a kiss. We had no idea at the time where life would take us but we were young, dumb, and blissfully in love. I don't think we really considered that all the rich/poor, sickness/health, good/bad times things would ever actually happen.

 Our journey definitely has had all of those things. We've fought. We've cried. We've laughed. We have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. We've traveled together to awesome places. We've made so many memories together. We've some how managed to grow into productive adults. We've experienced the birth of two amazing children and sadly endured the loss of another. We've held on to each through it all. There are days when I would like to strangle him in his sleep and I'm sure there are days when he'd like to pull out my tongue. He frustrates me more than anyone I've ever known but I can't imagine doing life without him by my side.

 So on this day please know that I'm thankful and blessed to be his wife. I love this crazy beautiful ride we're on and wouldn't change it for the world. Thank God for blind dates and poor choices because this one really worked out!

Happy Anniversary my love. Here's to many more.

Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-50828958966653002782016-06-20T19:47:00.001-07:002016-06-20T19:47:35.204-07:00Have you ever had one of those days? A day that seems like no matter how hard you try or how organized you think that you EVERYTHING goes wrong. A day that you just need. "Do over" for. Well...today was that day. Today, I had a colossal mommy meltdown.

Fred has been working his new job now for about a month. He likes it a lot. He feels both appreciated and challenged. This is something he has missed in last two jobs. The downside is that he now works second shift. This was not a surprise, and it's something we discussed at length before he took the job. I just didn't anticipate how much "quality time". I would have ALONE with my kids. I wake up in the morning, get Jax ready for school, and drop him off. Fred sleeps. Emma wakes up and I feed her breakfast, argue with her about iPad usage, reading time, and chores. Fred sleeps. I attempt to do some household chores, on most days I find time to shower, and I do all of this while working my full time job. Fred wakes up gives me my list of things that he needs me to do and interrupts me at least 20 times while I attempt to work. At some point Emma will ask for lunch and since for some odd reason my kids never ask their father for anything she comes to me! I will fix her something or give her permission to fix it herself. If I pick the latter then I have to take time to clean up her mess. Fred leaves for work mid afternoon and then it's all me. I have to finish my work day, pick Jax up, probably still work some, drive to whatever activity Emma has, keep the house from falling into squalor, fight both kids to go to bed, and who knows what else. I do everything single thing I need to do each day with at least one kid, even use the bathroom. Trust me, in this house someone is always coming in the bathroom. On most days I make it to bed about 30 minutes before Fred comes home.

I tell you all of this because today I failed at life. Today, nothing went right. Today, started for me on the couch where I woke up with a sore neck because I gave up my bed to snorey-mcsnorer and Jax the 4 year old bed hog. I followed my usual routine and managed to get Jax ready for school except I put his shoes in the wrong feet. The poor guy suffered like that until we got to school and I thankfully realized my mistake before taking him inside! I came home and attempted to feed myself. I carefully cut up some fruit, then added some vanilla Greek yogurt. I was going to eat a healthy breakfast. I took one bite and realized the yogurt was bad. Yay for disgusting spoiled yogurt! I was super disappointed because I cut up the last of the strawberries and bananas only to cover them in nasty yogurt. Who needs breakfast anyway? I decided to just pour myself into work only to discover that today I failed miserably at that too! That story is too long to tell but nothing I did or said seemed right today. Emma had a friend over today and they played so much I forgot to feed them lunch. Seriously, who forgets to feed two kids? I made myself feel better by blaming them because they never asked for food. They did snack so I guess that wasn't a total fail. I went to pick up Jax at school and managed to shut my own finger in the car door. It's only a little bruised and probably not broken. I refrained from saying any bad words so I'm actually going to call that a win! I planned my day so carefully. I moved calls with students and finished up things early to take Emma to taekwondo today since I can't take her tomorrow. I got her ready and rushed both kids out of the house. I somehow managed to rip off one of my nails while getting everyone in the car. I drove like a crazy person to get there on time. I got there with 5 minutes to spare! Then I looked at my calendar to discover that I had mixed up the Monday and Wednesday class times and her class wasn't for another hour and 10 minutes! As I sat in the parking lot, Emma talked non stop about how goofy I had been to mix up the class times. She also decided to let Jax out of his car seat. It was like someone freed a rabid monkey and he bounced around the car like wacko! This is when all the stress of the day hit me. All the balls that I constantly juggle came crashing down on my still throbbing finger. I sucked at work today. I forgot to feed children. I mixed up the schedule. I yelled at the kids for no reason. As I sat in the car getting hit in the head with a flip flop from my rabid monkey I started to cry. I was just frazzled and tired and overworked. I was spent and I had no more to give; but it was only 5:30 and I still needed to survive until bedtime. I closed my eyes and said a little prayer. I really needed a little heavenly support at this point. Miraculously, my monkey got back in his seat and strapped himself in and Emma stopped her constant criticism of my parenting today and for once was quiet. I pulled myself together and took the kids for some food. We had an uneventful dinner and the kids were actually well behaved. We finished taekwondo and headed home. When we got home both kids begged to snuggle me.

No matter my shortcomings as an employee, a wife, a mom, or an adult in general; my kiddos still love me. No matter how tired and weary my day, week, month, or year have made me, I'm still their momma and the center of their world right now. No matter how crazy they make me. The best way to end my day is with them by my side.

Now they are finally asleep and I've spent an hour typing this blog post on my cell phone I hope that you find it encouraging and possibly entertaining. I'm going to bed now and hoping for a better day tomorrow.Lydia Rosebushhttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-17489712540599417382016-04-22T18:03:00.002-07:002016-04-22T18:08:21.004-07:00

 Tonight she's going on a date. She's curled her hair and put on her best dress. She's even decided to wear some heels.He'll open doors for her and hold her hand. She'll dance until her little feet hurt. If he's lucky she might even let him join. She'll smile until her face hurts and giggle the night away with her girl friends. She and her girlfriends will probably poke fun of their dates. It's a big night for all the girls.
 She is the center of his whole world. She makes his face light up. He adores her. He's put on his best suit for her. His shoes are shined and his tie is straight. Tonight there is no one more important than her. He stands on the sidelines and waits to be invited to join her group of friends. He hopes that at the end of the night she'll tell him that this is one of the best nights of her life. If he plays his cards right he might even get a little kiss.
 He's the love of her life right now. There aren't any boys more important than him. The way he treats her tonight is the how she thinks girls should be treated. This how she will expect to be treated by a boy. One day, another boy will catch her eye. One day, another boy will want to take on a date. She will expect that boy to open doors, pull out chairs, and treat her like she is the center of his world. She will expect to be treated with respect and cherished as every girl deserves to be.
 She's growing up so fast and the years where her daddy is her hero are flying by. I love these days but I know in the blink of an eye she will be off to prom, college, and then before you know it she'll be dancing at her wedding.
 But tonight, tonight, her daddy is her date and she is his little girl. Tonight, she felt like Cinderella and precious memory was made.

 Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-83999644960839684692016-03-18T14:46:00.002-07:002016-03-18T14:46:44.316-07:00Sweet 16

When you have a special needs child you learn to live by a different set of milestones. When I had Maddie I knew from the get go that we wouldn't be celebrating first steps, first words, normal first days of school. You learn to live in the moment and not look too far forward because you don't know what future holds. You deal with the challenges at hand and start to expect the next challenge. I'm not saying that's the right or wrong way to be its just how you cope. If you let yourself wonder what could have been it can be a dark place so you just don't go there. You deal with your normal. You celebrate first laughs, you create your own milestones, and you celebrate things like this cold didn't turn into pneumonia or you didn't gag on your medicine today. You spend life making memories in the here and now and not dreaming about the future. I guess when Maddie was here I didn't know any other way to be because I didn't have other children. Now I look at my beautiful healthy kids and I do dream about their future. I have so many hopes for what they will become in their lives. I have experienced those milestones, first steps, first words, first day of school. I look forward, reluctantly, to first dates, first cars, and graduations. I don't want these to come too fast but at least I know they're coming. When I had Maddie none of those things were guaranteed, in fact I knew that the next day of her life wasn't guaranteed. I didn't dream about her future. I never really wondered about who she would become one day. I simply enjoyed everyday I had her here.

This week I've been missing her a lot. Her birthday is coming up on Sunday and this one is a hard one. Well, they're all hard without her, but this one seems harder than the usual birthday. She would be 16 this year and I can't help but think of what that would mean for her. If she were a "normal" girl we'd plan a super sweet 16 party and would be thinking about cars and driving. I've never let myself go there and I'm not sure why I have this week. I guess maybe it's because I can't believe that I had a child 16 years ago. Heck, I was barely driving when I had her! That little girl shaped my life so very much and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to have been her momma.

This Sunday we're going to have our own brand of Madison celebration. We're going to go eat her favorite thing, CHEESECAKE and share memories. Maybe we will even even spend a little time raising some funds for Maddie's favorite charity, Make-A-Wish. I'm going to really make an effort to be happy and enjoy the day. She wouldn't want us to be sad, who can be sad eating cheesecake anyway?

Happy Birthday beautiful girl. I'm sure your party in heaven is much cooler than any party I could plan.Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-64975439708230967532015-10-26T05:59:00.003-07:002015-10-26T05:59:50.000-07:00Have you ever stood in the middle of a crowded place and felt completely alone? Sometimes the memories in your head are so vivid they drown out the rest of the world. Sometimes the memories are welcomed thoughts and sometimes sneak up on you when you least expect it.
Last week I packed up my merry band of misfits and headed out on a grand adventure. We'd planned and saved for months so we could go to Disney World. We're sort of self proclaimed Disney experts so I thought of everything, hotel, meal plan, perfectly selected magicbands, and dining reservations painstakingly made 6 months in advance. I spent a week making lists and packing for 4. I spent hours in Pinterest looking for ideas to keep 2 kids occupied in the car for 14 hours. I was ready for the magic to begin.
We spent 14 glorious hours together (I might be exaggerating the glorious part) on our way to the happiest place on Earth. The kids were so excited. Emma is a Disney pro but Jax had no idea what he was getting into. I couldn't wait to see that look in your kids eyes when they experience everything Disney. It can only be described as magical.
As soon as we saw the famous Disney World sign a flood of memories hit me in the gut like a ton of bricks. This overwhelming sadness creeped it's way into my brain. So many wonderful memories have happened at this place. This was the first time we've come back without her. This was her place. This is where she wasn't just a handicapped kid. She was princess Madison in this place and everyone she met seemed to recognize that. You could feel her demeanor change when she was in Disney World. Her smile and laugh were contagious everyday but in this place they were electric. I never thought that visiting her place without her would be so hard.
Everything Disney was covered in her memory. Even boarding the bus at the resort reminds me of her. Standing in the regular (non-handicapped) line, not uprooting half the bus to strap her wheelchair in, not hearing her laugh when the bus takes off. Why was this all so emotional? She's been gone almost 4 years. I walk through my house everyday, the house where she took her last breath, and I don't feel this crushing sadness at home. Maybe I've just learned to pretend better at home.
Stepping off that Disney bus to our first park felt like time stopped. Walking the path to the park entrance tears welled up in my eyes. I tried not to show it. Thank God for sunglasses! I didn't want my kids to feel my sadness. I wanted to keep out vacation happy. Every place we went, every thing we did I felt crushed by her memory. I don't mean that in a bad way. I just felt her memory weighed very heavy on me.
I think the hardest part of whole trip was on "It's a small world." That was her ride. We used to ride it over and over again I'm the special wheelchair boat. Typically on our trips they didn't put people in the boat with us. It was like for a moment the entire ride belonged to us and in those moments life was perfect. Boarding the regular boat with other people was a huge punch in face from reality. Some of our magic had been taken away. I let my tears fall just a little on the ride. Perhaps a little bit of healing in those tears. I laughed a little when Jax laid his head on my lap and fell asleep. His sister never would have let that happen. She would have laughed and "talked" all the way through the ride.
The week did get easier and I did really enjoy the time with my family. It's just like everything in life after you lose a child, you have to get used to your "new normal". I didn't see this waive of emotion coming but I'm glad it did. I miss her so much every day. I enjoyed being in her place and feeling her presence with us so clearly.

Lydia Rosebushhttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-74697127451879393842015-09-09T06:46:00.003-07:002015-09-09T06:46:38.131-07:00When your almost 7 year old is wise beyond her years..

I rarely find time to blog these days. It turns out that raising these Rosebushes and working full time consumes most of my time. Something happened last week that I didn't want to just tell the world in a Facebook post.

Emma's 7th birthday is coming up quickly. Really quickly. I thought they were only supposed to come once a year, there's no way it's been a year. Right? We originally told Emma that she wasn't going to have a big party this year with all her friends. We are taking a trip to Disney shortly after her birthday so I didn't want the stress of getting vacation ready and planning a party. Emma didn't seem super upset by this but she did ask very politely if maybe I'd reconsider and let her have a taekwondo party with her classmates and friends. I don't know why I reconsidered. Maybe it was because I felt bad she was in a new class without her BFF'S. Maybe it's because she caught me on a good day. Maybe it was a full moon. Most likely it's because my kids are really really spoiled. Whatever the reason, I caved in. I arranged a party at our taekwondo place. It's fairly cheap and they clean up so what did I have to lose.

Now this is where the birthday party gets interesting. Fred and I were asking what she wanted for her birthday. She named a few things but said she just wanted to buy a few things at Disney. She then says that she wants to do something to help people for her birthday. Hmmm.. like what? She says that she has a lot of stuff and doesn't really need more. She said she doesn't have room for more stuff. So she asked if she could donate stuff to Make-A-Wish. I was so moved my this. How can this selfish little creature be thinking so unselfishly? Where did this come from? I wasn't sure but I did not want to discourage her. I suggested that maybe she tell her friends to bring toys for Make-A-Wish or Kosair Children's Hospital instead of gifts for her. I thought for sure she would scoff at the idea. I mean what kid doesn't want presents for their birthday. Heck, I still like presents on my birthday! Her face lit up. She got very excited and said that she would love to give toys to the hospital. WHAT? Who is this kid? She said that sometimes kids get stuck in the hospital and that's not much fun. Since she was healthy and having a fun party she wanted other kids to smile. She looked at me and said "Mom, I have a lot. I do fun things all the time. I'm going to Disney. Some kids don't get to do that. " I really fought the urge to cry. How can this kid be so wise? I agreed to let her do this if she wanted too. I thought for sure she'd change her mind. Fred thought she was nuts. I just let it go. I didn't mention it again until she asked if it was really ok to do it. She started telling people what she had planned. She helped me write a letter to go with her invitations so her friends knew what she wanted to do. I looked up a list of things the hospital wants and can use and also included it with her letter. She is so excited, giddy really. I can't wait to take her to the hospital to drop off the stuff. It warms my heart to see her giving so freely. If she can sacrifice so much for an almost 7 year old what can I do?

Now before you nominate her for sainthood I want to mention that she wad very clear that her gift donation does not include the things that her parents or grandparents give her. I mean the kid has to have some presents right?

Her party is October 10th and I hope she gets a good haul for the kids at the hospital. Maybe she'll inspire other kids to give back too.

Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-32615555235756238792015-05-26T19:07:00.003-07:002015-05-26T19:07:37.714-07:00Kindergarten Graduation

It seems like just yesterday that Fred and I were sitting the principal's office at Christian Academy telling my high school guidance counselor (now the CAL principal) why Emma should go to CAL. I cried that day! We'd been there for 2 years already in the preschool program but now we were talking about Kindergarten. Kindergarten....seriously...real school.... I think I was in denial at that point. Kindergarten was a far off thing, certainly not something that was going to really happen, and graduation from Kindergarten was not even a blip on my radar. I guess we were convincing that day because they let her in and I was forced to prepare. We did our summer reading. We bought the uniforms and the supplies. We met the poor soul that was going to be in charge of my wild child for 7 hours every day. Bless Mrs. Curtsinger's heart! We prayed just a little for the summer to slow down and for my baby girl to stay a baby just a little longer but without fail August came and so did Kindergarten.

I put on my brave face on that sunny August morning and dressed blondie in her uniform. She was so ready for this new adventure. She was so eager to learn to read, write, make new friends, and grow up. This momma on the other hand was not ready. It was really just yesterday that the doctor handed Fred and I this fat cheeked, blond headed, bundle of baby. How did we end up here again???? I walked her in. I took some pictures. She kissed me goodbye and took her place at her big kid desk. We were really doing this and I was the only one of us that seemed bothered by the day.

Over the past 9 months I have watched her grow so much. She's not only grown physically, proven by the shortening of uniform pants, skirts, and shirts, but she's grown in so many ways. She's grown spiritually. She prays daily. She sings about Jesus. She loves to read her Bible. She's become so independent. She's learned to read. This one happened overnight, literally! Okay, maybe not literally, but it felt like it. She reads everything, including my text messages! She's gone from my little baby to this grown up little girl in such a short time.

Tonight my grown up girl put on her little cap and gown, the first of several in her future I'm sure, and she graduated. She made it! We both did! We survived Kindergarten! The kids sang songs and recited scripture and were really too cute for words. As the kids got their "diplomas" the teachers read aloud what each child wanted to be when they grew up. The answers ranged from teacher and doctor to wrestler and jockey. My daughter said preacher. She wants to be a preacher when she grows up because she wants everyone to know about Jesus. Cue the teary eyed mommy! We shall see how that changes as she grows but I'm glad that even at 6 she has a heart to serve others.

This kid pushes my buttons on a daily basis but I am so very proud of her. I am thankful that I was chosen to be her mommy. First Grade here we come.

I've decided to share a few pictures from this school year. They are in chronological order from August through now. It's amazing to watch the changes in all the kids.

The class at the beginning of the year.

Christmas

Twins Day

Christmas

BFF and Partner in Crime Macie

I hope we get to take a similar picture in 12 years when they get to high school.

BFF and also partner in crime Ellie

These two kids are already running cons on me.

Mrs. Curtsinger - She also survived the year!

Mrs. Carson the Principal and also my high school guidance counselor.

She said I made her feel old.

Lydia Rosebushhttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-59553529462744443202015-05-11T13:22:00.002-07:002015-05-11T13:22:51.124-07:00Mother's Day

It's been awhile since I've posted a blog but I feel like this post is something that I need to say. I promise I will start to post again on a more regular basis.
 Yesterday was Mother's Day and in the last 3 years it's become a day that I have mixed feelings about. Don't get me wrong I love my mom and my step mom. They're both great and I'm so thankful for them. My feelings about Mother's Day have more to do with my own motherhood experience.
You see I became a mother 15 years ago. Wow, writing that seems super unreal. I was never prepared to be a mom. I had no idea what to do with a baby. I'd barely even changed diapers! I'd never expected to leave the hospital with a baby when Maddie was born thanks to the grim prognosis of nearly every doctor I saw. I once heard someone say that having a child is like feeling your heart beat outside your body and I think that is true. I knew as soon as I laid eyes on that little girl that my heart would never be the same. Three days after she was born I was packing up a special needs newborn and leaving the hospital. Thank God for my parents because I'm certain I wouldn't have lasted 30 minutes alone with her. That little girl taught me more about life and unconditional love in her lifetime than I will ever be able to share and she never spoke a word. She gave me purpose in life. She changed me in ways I can't even put into words. She made me a mom.
Since her birth I've been blessed with two more happy, healthy, headstrong and beautiful children. They are amazing and everyday with them is an adventure, but if it wasn't for their big sister I don't know if I would have been ready to love them like all children deserve to be loved.
It's hard to celebrate Mother's Day without a third of your heart. A piece of me is forever missing and sometimes on Mother's Day that hole in my heart feels as big as the Grand Canyon. Inevitably on Mother's Day a stranger will ask the question I hate most in the world, "How many children do you have?" This question is so hard to answer, if I say 2 I feel like I've forgotten about my baby girl. If I say 3 then I have to explain where #3 is and deal with the awkward moments that follow. So usually I just avoid that question altogether.
On Mother's Day I received well wishes from lots of family and friends and largely ignored them. That's not to say I don't appreciate them. I just feel a little sad on this day because my first born is not here. I know that's probably sounds selfish but that's where my heart is.
I'm sure Mother's Day is difficult for many women out there, not just me. So please if you read this stop and say a prayer for all those out there who struggle with Mother's Day. It's just another day but it can stir so many emotions. Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-65644961653462736372014-08-12T18:02:00.001-07:002014-08-12T18:02:51.575-07:00Season of change...

 It's been a summer full of fun Rosebush antics. I have enjoyed spending everyday with my little Rosebushes and watching them grow, explore, and laugh. Like all good things they must come to a end. Tomorrow is the day! I'm sending my baby girl off to her first day of Kindergarten. I'm not sure how this happened so soon. Wasn't it just yesterday the nurses were holding up this naked, bald, screaming, gunk covered baby for me to admire? In reality that was almost 6 years ago and that little baby has grown up into a blonde haired, blue eyed, bundle of sass. She makes me laugh daily and want to pull my hair out at the same time. Let me just take this time to officially apologize to my mom and dad because I'm certain she's just like me. She says she's not nervous. She says she's ready. She says she's excited. I, however, am nervous, unprepared, and most definitely NOT ready for this. I worry everyday if she'll fit it. Will she make new friends? Will she behave? Is she smart enough? Have I prepared her well enough? Now logically I know the answer to all those questions is yes. She'll be just fine. My mom brain just works overtime and maybe I'm too overprotective. If I feel this emotional about Kindergarten then sending her to college may actually kill me but thankfully that's a long way off.
Kindergarten is not the only big change in the Rosebush house though. My days as a stay at home mom are also coming to an end. My plan for staying at home was to stay at home long enough to get the kids ready for school or until the perfect job came along. I had been hoping the perfect job would hold off until Jax was ready for kindergarten but sometimes the best laid plans don't work like they are supposed to. I was presented with an opportunity to do basically the same job as I had previously but for a different school. The best part of it all is that I can do it FROM HOME! Oh and the money was better than the job I left to stay at home so it was really hard to pass up. I wrestled with the decision of whether or not to take the job. I have felt a tremendous amount of guilt for even considering it. I felt like putting Jax in a daycare or preschool was screwing him out of this valuable time with his mommy. I felt like I was choosing money over my kids and that wasn't fair to them. There were positives to taking the job of course. The extra income would allow Fred and I to pay off all of our debt in less than half the time we had calculated. We would have more disposable income for fun things like the trip to Disney that both kids have been begging for. Preschool might actually benefit Jax because the poor guy has ZERO social skills when it comes to playing with other children. I would get the chance to do something I'm actually good at and be an encouragement to other people who are trying to get their education and possibly change their lives for the better. When I considered both sides it really made sense for me to take the job. I visited a few daycares and preschools. I cried like a lunatic the entire time but found one that I was comfortable with that was just a few miles away. I signed the paperwork and he starts Monday. I am not ready for it but I think in the long run our family will benefit from me working.
I am going to miss staying at home more than words. I will probably continue to feel guilty for working for a while but I have my eye on long term goals. I have accepted that putting Jax in preschool and working DOES NOT make me less of a mom. It makes me a mom that wants the absolute best for my family and is willing to whatever it takes for them.
So here's to new journeys and lot of tears for me and both the kids. Say a prayer we all survive! Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-8947602732644815512014-07-15T15:40:00.000-07:002014-07-15T15:40:21.824-07:00Let it Go.

 Today my little Rosebushes and I set out on an adventure. We were headed to the library for a Pinkalicious Party. If you're not familiar with Pinkalicious it's a series of children's books about a little girl who loves all things pink; much like my Emma. There was a promise of pink cotton candy at the end of the party so both kids were all in from the moment we left the house.
 The real fun began as soon as we got in the car. The Frozen Soundtrack was requested from the back seat passengers so I happily found it on the ipad and we were off. If you read this blog often, or you know my kiddo, then you know that Emma is a true back seat singer. She sings. She dances. She is super dramatic. Now what you may not know is that she gets her car singing talent from me. I am an absolute rock star in my vehicle worthy of winning Grammy or Tony Awards. I have extreme stage fright though so I will NEVER EVER sing in public, NEVER. Sadly most of the world will never know the depths of my talent. Today we were doing a full scale mother/daughter performance in the car of "Let It Go". Full voice, hand motions, awesome facial expressions, the whole shebang. We stopped at a red light just in time for the big finale so I could really get into it. For those familiar with the song, "My power flurries through the air..." The best part of the song! Emma and I were AMAZING. We gave our all. It was a magnificent performance. I glanced back at Emma to congratulate her on a job well done and noticed that the car full of teenagers next to us were clapping and I'm not completely certain but one of them may have captured some of the performance on their cell phone.

Then I realized it...

I remembered that today was a beautiful day and we had been enjoying the cooler air with the sunroof open and the windows all the way down! We had been at the light long enough for these four kids to enjoy a show that Idina Menzel herself would have been proud of. I was horribly embarrassed but not Emma. Emma stuck her hand out the window and waived. She graciously took a small carseat restricted bow and then the light turned green and our audience was gone. As we continued on our way Emma said, "I really hope we made their day Mom."

I laughed told her that I am absolutely sure that they will never forget that awesome show.

The rest of our trip to the library was uneventful. When I asked Emma what her favorite part of the day was she said "When the people next to us in the car clapped for us. We were stars!"

My awful embarrassment was totally worth it because it made Emma's (and some random teenagers) day. Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-45605675360900273512014-07-11T18:43:00.001-07:002014-07-11T18:43:25.756-07:00There's Gotta Be An Easier Way...

Today I was watching the news while my little Rosebushes played. Typically neither little Rosebush pays attention to the news. It's boring adult stuff. On the news tonight they were talking about a man who used a Gopro camera strapped to his head to capture the drive to the hospital and birth of his son at the hospital's front door. They showed the video and I guess Emma tuned into the laboring woman's screams of agony. She started watching. Her eyes were glued to the TV as the woman gets out of her car and starts screaming at her husband to come catch the baby. Emma's eyes widened and she looked very concerned. She turns to me and asked, "What the heck is wrong with that lady? " I informed her that she was just having a baby. Emma flew into a panic. "MOM! She's going to die! Who is going to help her?" I explained to Emma that it was no big deal really, people have babies everyday. Emma responds with "But Mom, who will sew her back together?" It suddenly hit me as to why there was such confusion and panic on my daughter's face. She has no clue how babies typically get out of the mommy's tummy. Emma has seen me pregnant and come to the hospital when I had Jaxon. We carefully prepared her for the event by telling her that that the doctor was going to cut mommy open and get baby Jax out. We warned her to be very careful with mommy because the doctor had to staple her belly back together and it was very sore. I guess it never occurred to me that this would stick with her forever and she would assume that all babies were born this way. I've never had a reason to explain it to her any further.
Emma continued to watch in horror as the poor woman on TV gave birth to her baby while standing in the curb in front of the hospital, sure to meet certain death when no one sewed her back up. Don't worry folks, the video was sensored! That's when the questions began. Emma was almost in tears worried that this poor mommy would die and who would take care of the poor baby.
Emma: "Mom, what are they gonna do? Why aren't they helping her? What if her guts fall out? Did the baby just scratch his way out?"
As entertaining as the thought of letting my daughter believe that if you don't get to a hospital in time your unborn baby will simply scratch his way out through your abdomen sounded; I thought I should tell her the truth. This is a little snippet of how the conversation went.

Me: "Emma, babies don't typically get cut out of their mommy's belly like you, Jax, and Maddie. That's only for special circumstances. "

Emma: Super confused look on her face. "Well, then how do they come out?"

Me: "Well most of the time they come out of your hootie-butt."

Emma: "WHAT? You mean they come out your ba-china? Like pee?"

Me: "Ummmmm....sort of." Keep in mind that she's 5 and I don't want to terrify her.

Emma: "I don't think that's possible? Are you sure?"

Me: "Yep, I'm absolutely positive. Babies are born that way most of the time."

Emma: "That's gotta hurt your ba-china. "

Me: Giggling at the last statement. " Yeah I'm sure it doesn't feel good. When you want to meet your new baby so bad some times you don't care how much it hurts. "

Emma: "Seriously, your ba-china?" She shakes her head in disbelief and ponders for a second. "How does the baby fit? "

Me: "Well Em it isn't easy. God designed mommy bodies to do amazing things and when it's time to have a baby your body knows how to get babies out. "

Emma: "God's pretty cool huh? That's awesome but I'm not sure your hootie was the best way out."

Me: "Me either Emma."

Emma: "There has to be an easier way! I don't think I want to have kids then."

I laughed. Hopefully this little conversation sticks with her for the next 20 years!

Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-10485554067907242812014-07-03T17:34:00.002-07:002014-07-03T17:34:45.853-07:00Class Notes

The summer is in full swing in the Rosebush garden. My little Rosebuds are really blooming and keeping me super busy. I spend most of my days finding ways to entertain them, it's exhausting mentally and physically but mostly a lot of fun. I mean who doesn't love a job where you can swim on a daily basis or watch Frozen for the 432,652nd time in your PJ'S, in the middle of the day. I truly love spending time with my two little nut jobs but some days I feel like I have accomplished nothing. Today, I grabbed the mail, like I do everyday and in it was my quarterly Bellarmine Magazine. I enjoy reading about all the things happening at my Alma Mater. I am a proud Bellarmine Knight. It's when I get to the Class Notes section and read about all the great things my fellow alumni are accomplishing that I feel really unaccomplished, if that's even a word. Things like so and so from the class of 2004 was recently promoted to CEO of total world domination, or Suzy Q. Overachiever has just earned her third doctorate in rocket science; sometimes those really make me feel like I've wasted some serious time and am a giant underachiever. I'm not trying to knock down or discount my fellow alums achievements in anyway. I'm just saying the things I have accomplished suddenly seem pretty insignificant. I thought if I were to write a "Class Note" for my day today it would list the following achievements:
1. Became a master plumber by skillfully using tweezers to remove toliet paper that had been shoved into the bathroom sink drain.
2. Promoted to head chef by finally preparing a meal that EVERYONE in the house ate and enjoyed.
3. Squashed a rebellion amongst the natives in order to maintain peace in the land. Twice.
4. Received the prestigious award "Best Mom Ever".
5. Had previously mentioned award rescinded mere minutes after it was bestowed.

So it's clear that I won't ever be a CEO of a major corporation. I won't make millions of dollars. I probably won't single handedly change the world. What I will do is attempt to raise kind, loving, intelligent, wonderful little humans that may someday run a major corporation or be a world leader. I may not use the excessively expensive education that I received at my fantastic university but I wouldn't change what I do for the world. I love my little Rosebushes and the title of MOM is all I really need.

Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-15151876243699900782014-06-08T18:56:00.001-07:002014-06-08T18:56:47.242-07:00So Thankful

This weekend was the Walk for Wishes to raise money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Our family has participated in this event every year but one. It was just too much to handle the summer after Maddie died so we sat that one out. Now the walk has become sort of therapeutic for me. It allows me to remember one of the best times that we ever had as a family with Maddie and tell our story to others. I miss her so much! The walk allows me to do something good for others in her memory. This year I set a goal to raise $5,000 as a team. That amount seemed crazy when I started but it gave me something to work toward. I spent the last 4 months bombarding my friends Facebook feeds with messages about Make-A-Wish. I basically became a beggar, and for that I apologize. I turned my friends and family into beggars, again I apologize. I went for months with little to no donations happening but a few weeks ago something amazing happened. Donations started to pour in. People I haven't spoken to outside of Facebook in years made donations. I even had donations from strangers and friends of friends. My team received donations from a friends I went to middle school with in another state. There were donations from a fellow cheerleader from high school, a coworker from a job I had in high school, college friends, family, and even Maddie's former teacher. I was overwhelmed at the generosity of people. We had people sign up to walk with us from Indiana and Ohio. One of our team members got her husband and two girls up extra early on a Saturday, drove an hour and fifteen minutes to Louisville, and was there to walk with us at 9:00AM. Did I mention that I'd never met her before? She used to work with Fred and was so inspired by Maddie that she felt like she had to help us. My best friend brought her family three hours south from Dayton, OH so that she could walk with us. My friends and family showed up in full force. My mom's cousin Troy even showed up out of the blue to support Team Madison Hope. My friends and family got up early, brought their kids out, and walked in the hot sun and I am inspired.
We weren't the biggest team there but we did raise 3rd highest dollar amount. We weren't a corporate sponsored team like the other two top fundraisers. We were an angel inspired team. Inspired by one amazing little girl that never spoke a word during her time on Earth but changed lives and hearts wherever she went. We raised over $5,000! We did it! You did it! I am humbled, honored and inspired by all the support we had. I honestly can't put into words how exactly I feel so I won't try. I'll simply end this blog post with a big THANK YOU even though that doesn't seem adequate enough.

Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-44031061703968680162014-06-04T09:04:00.000-07:002014-06-04T09:04:06.763-07:00Wake Up Call

It's summer time and the little Rosebushes still like to get up early. Sometimes they get up extra early and find amazing ways to wake me up. This was one of those days!

I was laying in my bed this morning presumably having sweet dreams. I felt a little tug on the covers and the bed shift with the weight of another human. In my sleepy haze I heard a tiny giggle and 2.5 seconds later a 28 pound bundle of crazy launched himself onto me and shouted "GOT YOU!" I glanced at the clock which read 4:34. I grumbled. What on the world has him up at this ungodly hour? I rolled over to look at him only to discover that the little spider monkey was COMPLETELY NAKED. No pajamas. No diaper. No anything! When he saw my face he smiled and said "I'm naked!" He stood up to get in a few good bounces on my bed in all his naked glory. I asked, "Why are you naked?" His simple response was "I peed."
Oh well that's a simple enough explanation. Hold on.... you peed?

What?

Where?

Oh for the love of Pete where did you pee?

Please don't let it be on my bed!

Sometimes when you say you peed you really mean you pooped.

Oh God please don't let it be poop. Not at 4:34 AM.

Suddenly my sleepy haze was gone and was replaced with mom panic. I sprang into action. Literally!

I first examined the naked little person bouncing on my bed. Whew, no sign of poop! Now I just need to go on a search and rescue mission for the missing clothes and di aper. I scanned my room and didn't see it so it must be in his room.

My sleepy feet hit the floor and down the hall I went. I didn't get far before my toe hit a puddle on the hardwood. I flipped on the hall light to find a trail from his room to mine.

I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and cleaned up the trail and continued to his room. Right there in the middle of his bed was a peepee filled diaper and a pile of wet pajamas.

I guess he didn't like the wet diaper or clothes so he decides to handle the situation in his own two year old way.

I cleaned everything up and quickly diapered and clothed my little nudist. Since his bed was wet I fixed his pillows the way he likes them and snuggled with him in my bed. I put on some Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and back to sleep we both drifted.

Everyday is a new adventure in the Rosebush house. I just wish they happened during normal business hours.

Now I have to go wash some sheets....

Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-55416687365471007162014-06-01T17:31:00.001-07:002014-06-01T17:31:12.367-07:00Burning Questions.

It's finally summertime and in the Rosebush growing business it's a really exciting time. The little Rosebushes thrive during summer. Now that Mr. FixIt has finally sorted out the pool situation the Rosebushes can stay thoroughly watered. A few days ago Emma and I were out by the pool and she was swimming. I refused to get in the pool because it is still pretty cold but I sat on the deck and watched her. As she was swimming she was pretending to be a mermaid. She swam in circles. She did belly flops and back flops. She floated around. She sang Little Mermaid songs. I enjoyed watching my little mermaid play now that she is getting big enough to swim on her own. As she was swimming along like Ariel she had an interesting question, that led to more questions and a very funny discussion.

E - "Mom, how do mermaids pee amd poop?"

Me - "Ummmmmm.... I'm not sure."

E- "They don't have a butt or a 'ba-china'. "

Me - "I know that."

E- "So do they pee through their tail?"

Me - "Em, I seriously have no clue. I've never given it any thought."

E - "Do you think Google would know?"

Me - "Doubt it. Mermaids aren't real you know. "

E - "Ummmmm, I don't know about that. 8 think you might be wrong. While we're on the subject of mermaids, how do they have babies?"

I started to worry where this conversation was going.

E - "I mean do they lay eggs like fish or do they get them out of their bellies like people? How would they get them out of their bellies anyway? "

Me - "Emma, honestly I DO NOT KNOW! I'm pretty sure mermaids are not real."

E - "Yes they are. I've SEEN Ariel at Disney World. I bet she could answer my questions."

It was clear to me that no matter what I said I was going to lose the argument. Clearly my daughter thinks I'm an idiot. Maybe she's right because I clearly don't know my mermaid anatomy or anything about their reproduction.

Me - "Perhaps she could Emma. Next time we go to Disney you can ask her."

E - " I will. So can we go to Disney soon? I really need this cleared up."

I love how this kids mind works. I feel like the whole thing was a ploy to ask about going to Disney World. It's really important that we answer these burning questions. So if you know anything about mermaid reproduction or urination please let me know.

Lydia Rosebushhttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5692202652642730592.post-16926372988532452422014-05-15T20:02:00.001-07:002014-05-15T20:02:34.474-07:00Backseat Conversations.

Today while going about my daily business with my little Rosebushes I overheard a conversation that warmed my heart and made me cry at the same time. Today Emma's BFF Macie came home from school with us. The girls played for awhile at the house and then decided they wanted to go to Orange Leaf. They had been good so I agreed to take them along with Jaxon. As I drove the girls sat in the backseat and chattered. They have the funniest conversations. Today was the best one I've ever heard. I only picked up part of the conversation so I don't know how it started but this is where I really started listening:

Macie: "I'm gonna meet Jesus one day."

Emma: "Me too, but we have to get to heaven first. "

Macie: "Yeah, I wonder what it looks like there? "

Emma: "I don't know but I can't wait to get there and see my sister again. I miss her."

Macie: "Oh that would be awesome. Can I meet her too?"

Emma: "Ummmm....Yeah....you're my best friend and she'd love you. She didn't walk or talk here, but mom says she can in heaven. I really want to see that. I bet she likes walking and probably dancing. I really miss her. Sometimes I forget what she looks like and I get sad"

Macie: "She could play with us and that would be fun. If she likes to dance we could all dance....In princess dresses. "

Emma: "I hope she remembers me. I was littler when she died so I probably look different. I'll have to introduce Jax because she never met him."

Macie: "He's kind of crazy I hope she likes him. "

Emma: "She probably won't but he is her brother so she'll have to. Maybe he'll be better in heaven."

Unfortunately we arrived at Orange Leaf and the conversation ended. Luckily I had on sunglasses and neither girl could see the tears in my eyes. I really wanted to hear more because it was a conversation filled with such innocence and hope. Emma rarely talks to me about Maddie and I often wonder exactly how much she remembers about her. I've wondered if she would remember her at all as she grew up. I think today's conversation cleared some of that up for me. Emma will always remember she has a sister. The memories of her sister will likely always be trapped in a three year old state because that's how old she was when Maddie died. At just 5 years old I think Emma understand life, death, and heaven better than most adults. I love that she shares these little snippets about her sister with her friends. It's good to hear her talk about Maddie and even better to hear that she obviously talks so frequently about Maddie to her friends that they feel like they know her too.
I needed that conversation today for so many reasons. It meant a lot to me. I didn't mention the conversation to Emma because secretly I hope to catch more conversations like that in the future.

Lydia Rosebushhttps://firstname.lastname@example.com