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The Conference Finals: Where The Money Is Made
Blades of Funny went 2-2 in the 2nd round, and all it took to achieve this averageness was a comeback for the ages. Overall playoff record now stands at 6-6. Average to the core, baby!
For the Conference Finals, I've decided to switch things up. Instead of looking forward and coming up with wacky storylines, I'm going to do what the pros do: compare the teams.
Montreal vs. Philadelphia
Montreal… deploys a gameplan which revolves in getting badly outplayed and then pulling out a miraculous victory.
Philadelphia… has also caught on to this style.
Montreal… players have been known to interact with distasteful individuals off the ice.
Philadelphia… players have been known to interact with distasteful individuals on the ice.
Montreal… has faced four goalies thus far in the playoffs.
Philadelphia… are fully expecting to dress four goalies going forward.
Montreal… fans have a reputation of losing their minds during playoff time.
Philadelphia… fans have a reputation of losing their minds all year round.
Montreal… has a guy in goal who's been compared to Ken Dryden and Patrick Roy.
Philadelphia… has Michael Leighton. <—— HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
The Verdict: Montreal in 6.
The official sponsor was Kestrel, the popular manufacturer of Road bikes.
Chicago vs. San Jose
San Jose… has a guy they call Jumbo who rarely shows up in the postseason.
Chicago… has a jumbo guy who rarely shows up. Period.
San Jose… led by Joe Pavelski, have torn apart the opposition in these playoffs.
Chicago… has also left their opposition torn apart, just ask Sami Salo.
San Jose… has a star sniper whose desire for change last summer made him act like a jackass.
Chicago… has a star sniper whose desire for change last summer also made him act like a jackass.
San Jose… defeated the Red Wings in the second round.
Chicago… also defeated a whiny team/fan base in the second round.
San Jose… does not have Marian Hossa.
Chicago… has Marian Hossa, which means it's allllllll good, baby baby…this round, anyway.
The Verdict: Chicago is 6.
Predicting The Future With No "Inside" Sources
This post is going to part serious and part humor. The serious part consists of me seriously trying to predict where the top unrestricted free agents will land. The humor part will come on July 1st when all my picks are wrong. Sounds like fun, no? Let's go! (Please keep in mind that I'm just talking out of my butt.)
Ilya Kovalchuk: Los Angeles Kings at a $9m cap hit.
The Kings will be up against the cap after this signing which may cause them some headaches in the coming years. But for now: enjoy the ride!
Anton Volchenkov: Anaheim Ducks at $6m.
I'm crazy you say? Well, of course. But with Scotty retired, the Ducks need to make a splash and have the cap room to outbid other teams for the hulking Russian. Overpaid? You bet! Especially when there's…
Zbynek Michalek: Washington Capitals at $3.5m.
Michalek presents the best blueline value, in my opinion. He's solid in his own zone and will come cheaper than Volchenkov which will allow the Caps to go after a decent 1A goalie as well.
Dan Hamhuis: Vancouver Canucks at $4.75m.
This signing pretty much paves the way for the departure of Kevin Bieksa. Whichever team dumb enough to trade for Bieksa will be rewarded with a player who makes dumb plays all the time. A match made in heaven, if you will.
Sergei Gonchar: Dallas Stars at $4.5m.
He'll get his money but with his age and recent injury history, I wouldn't touch him.
Evgeni Nabokov: Philadelphia Flyers at $5m OR KHL at $15m and 100 gallons of oil.
Whooooa!!! I just went out on a massive limb. I feel like an anonymous hockey blogger! Nah, he'll most likely sign in the NHL but I have no clue as to what team he makes the most sense with. Especially at a $5m cap hit.
Chris Mason: Washington Capitals at $3.5m.
If it comes down to Mason or Turco., I'd be shocked if any GM would actually prefer the latter. If this happens, it's a good signing. So make it happen!
(BoF edit: According to a reader comment, this is unlikely. But hey, maybe the Caps will use the money to target Lombardi who I also goofed up on in this post. See below.)
(BoF edit #2: I'm changing Mason's team to Tampa. However, if he signs in Washington, I'm sticking with my original thought. Win-win! Unless he signs with any of the other 28 teams, in which case I'll continue looking like an idiot.)
Paul Martin: New Jersey Devils at $4.5m.
I think both parties will come around and keep Martin in Jersey. If not, maybe the Devils will sign Gonchar instead and regret it later.
Matthew Lombardi: Pittsburgh Penguins at $3.5m.
And the endless Crosby winger-matching continues. This one may work out well (or maybe not).
(BoF edit: I'm pretty retarded. Lombardi is a center but for some reason this morning I was convinced he played the wing in Calgary prior to going to Phoenix. So yeah, scratch this one off the list 'cause the Pens need another center like I need more arguments with the wife!!!)
Alexander Frolov: KHL.
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, will pay him the $5 million I read that his agent is seeking in North America. If the price of oil falls, he may even have a hard time getting that in Russia (nah, that's a lie because the extortion cash will always be there).
Willie Mitchell: Pittsburgh Penguins at $3m.
This can work out great if he's healthy, or be a disaster if he's not. Either way, it's the least the Penguins can do to apologize after Malkin knocked him out.
Marty Turco: Philadelphia Flyers or San Jose Sharks at $2.5m.
If the Nabokov thing doesn't work out, I'm thinking the Flyers take a flyer (haha) on Turco. He'll come cheap because, well, he's been having a rough time since the trapezoid was implemented. Those little lines cost him millions. Or maybe it was his realivitly sh*ty play that cost him (who knows with these things).
Olli Jokinen: Calgary Flames at $5m. JUST KIDDING! GodKnowsWhere at $3m.
I have a hard time finding a fit for him. However, you can be assured that wherever he goes, he'll manage to royally screw things up. He's the Milbury of hockey players these days. Maybe, just maybe, he may turn out well in the right spot. It's happened before.
Pavel Kubina: Tampa Bay Lightning at $3.5m.
I can see him going to a few different teams but chose Tampa because I feel they really need another 3-4 defenseman-type. This should be a good fit for him, in my opinion.
Tom Lydman: New York Islanders at $3.5m.
Another defenseman that can fit on a number of teams who are looking to add depth to their blueline. He'll be a decent 3-4 blueliner and the Isles are a good fit.
Henrik Tallinder: Buffalo Sabres at $3.5m.
And yet another defenseman who can fill out the depth chart as a 3-4 guy. He was Lydman's partner in Buffalo and I'm thinking they keep at least one of them. My thinking is always wrong, though, so there you go.
Joe Corvo: Columbus Blue Jackets $2.5m.
He should help out with the Jackets powerplay. Maybe he'll get $3m. Maybe. But probably not.
Colby Armstrong: Pittsburgh Penguins at $2.0m.
Colby makes his triumphant return to Pittsburgh! Nah, probably won't happen because he'll go after the money and should get around $3m somewhere else. Stay tuned, Sid may start tearing up if Colby doesn't come back.
Ray Whitney, Alex Tanguay, Alexei Ponikarovsky, Lee Stempinak.
All three should get somewhere between $2m to $3m. Whitney may get a tad more if he signs a one year contract. Too hard to predict where they end up because it could be anywhere. Even Russia. And I don't have my KHL roster reports handy.
Pavol Demitra, Paul Kariya.
Whichever team signs them better invest in a new CT Scan machine and some extra doctors. Whichever GM signs either one for more than $1.5m better stick his brain into said CT Scan machine.
This concludes my look into the UFA class. There are others but they all suck! (with all due apologizes to Antero Niittymaki).
Oh, and one last thing before I go. Even the worst hockey player that signs a contract on Thursday will make more money than you or I. Soooooo, the only thing we have left is laughter. The more we make fun of hockey players, the more we're able to hide our inadequacies. Man Rule #425.
30 Quotes From 30 NHL GMs
Since the season ended, Blades of Funny has had insiders who were inside (thus the name) meetings involving each team's management. Here are some choice quotes we overheard general managers saying…
Anaheim Ducks: "Hey, if we can't sign Bobby Ryan, let's just stick a #9 jersey on Matt Beleskey and tell people that Bobby had to change his name again." – Bob Murray
Atlanta Thrashers: "You see those pictures behind me. The subjects in those photos are Stan Bowman and his secretary, Jessica. These photos, gentlemen, hold the key to our off-season." – Rick Dudley
Boston Bruins: "Let me call Burkie and work some of my magic on him to see what he'll give us in return for a hockey player who can't count to 10 without focusing to the extreme." – Peter Chiarelli
Buffalo Sabres: "It's that time of the year, again. Let's do what we always do, which is… nothing." – Darcy Regier
Calgary Flames: "Hey, did you guys see how Lamoriello brought Arnott back to Jersey? I like that. In fact, I like that so much that I'm going to one-up him." – Darryl Sutter
Carolina Hurricanes: "Rod Brind'Amour retired. Meeting adjourned. Enjoy your summer, guys." – Jim Rutherford
Chicago Blackhawks: "F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! Motherf*ck!" – Stan Bowman
Colorado Avalanche: "Okay guys, last year we drafted Duchene and O'Reilly. They turned out well. In fact, they turned out so well that we'll have to spend big bucks to retain them, so let's tone things down this year. Let's see … probable 2nd rounders … 3rd rounders … I got it! Joey Hishon! He's our guy!" – Greg Sherman
Columbus Blue Jackets: "I forgot how good the food is at the draft. The last few years Hitch always ate everything before we even got there. However, instead of eating, we probably should have paid closer attention to the prospects. Turns out Ryan Johansen isn't a defenseman." – Scott Howson
Dallas Stars: "Will somebody please go outside and tell Modano that the season is over and he can go home. He's been hanging outside my office since spring. Awwwwkwwwward!" – Joe Nieuwendyk
Detroit Red Wings: "Will somebody please go outside and tell Modano that we're not interested. He's been hanging outside my office since Nieuwendyk kicked him out of Dallas." – Ken Holland
Edmonton Oilers: "You guys are doing a fantastic job. Our youth movement is drawing comparisons to the Oilers of the 80′s. Now all we need is a Gretzky, a Messier, a Coffey and a Fuhr." – Steve Tambellini
Florida Panthers: "As you can see by what's happening in Chicago, I build my teams to self-destruct after I leave. Let this be a warning to those of you that want to play petty office politics with me." – Dale Tallon
Los Angeles Kings: "F*cking Russians. From Frolov to Kovalchuk, they can all go to hell." – Dean Lombardi
Minnesota Wild: "Hey, is that Mike Modano outside my office?" – Chuck Fletcher
Montreal Canadiens: "The future of the Montreal Canadiens now rests on Carey Price's shoulders. … Hey, guys? … Hey? … What are you all doing? … Are those resumes you're all faxing? " – Pierre Gauthier
Nashville Predators: "Gentlemen, I bring great news! Hockey is FINALLY catching on in Nashville! I just came back from the coffee shop where I overheard two women having a conversation that involved the word 'hockey'. Something about Carrie Underwood is marrying a HOCKEY player. This is a breakthrough! A BREAKTHROUGH!" – David Poile
New Jersey Devils: "Grrr." – Lou Lamoriello
New York Islanders: "You guys won't believe the story I planted in the media today. Check out this Darren Dreger tweet. ROFLMAO!" – Garth Snow
New York Rangers: "I don't care how much it costs, get me a f*ckin' enforcer with a cool nickname. That's what I want this summer! Waaaaaaa! Waaaaaaa!" – Glen Sather
Ottawa Senators: "Sh*t! It says here that contract offers do NOT have to be sent out at exactly noon on July 1st. We DID have time to proofread." – Bryan Murray
Philadelphia Flyers: "Okay, I acquired Nabokov for a few days. All those 'Holmgren needs to get a real goalie' people can now shut the f*ck up." – Paul Holmgren
Phoenix Coyotes: "Just got off the phone with Gary. He told me that any signing over $1,000,000 is coming out of our personal pockets." – Don Maloney
Pittsburgh Penguins: "Crosby looked pissed after our season ended. We better do something or he'll have us killed." – Ray Shero
San Jose Sharks: "First things first: which one of you bastards googled 'doug wilson's hot daughter' on the office computer?" – Doug Wilson
St. Louis Blues: "OH CRAP! Have any of you looked at Halak's stats? He's only had one good year… and he only played like 40 games… like, what the hell, man? I thought he was like Dryden and Roy combined." – Doug Armstrong
Tampa Bay Lightning: "So it's finalized: 15 minutes prior to each press conference, I will stand at the podium and the media will be let in and proceed to tell me how much they want to suck my di*k. After which, I will sign autographs for each of them. Gosh, maybe if I was named LeBron, I'd enjoy all this ego stroking." – Steve Yzerman
Toronto Maple Leafs: "You guys handle the off-season stuff for me this year. I have a parade outfit to pick out." – Brian Burke
Vancouver Canucks: "Soooo… this is a little awkward… when Naslund was my client, I sort of, um, lost a bet to him… and so if I ever became a GM, I would have to, um, retire his…" – Mike Gillis
Washington Capitals: "We have a good team, right? No, we have a GREAT team, right? We don't need to do anything, right? … Varlamov and Neuvirth will do just fine, right? … Alex? … Alex? … Alex, you still there, Alex?" – George McPhee
Some Tips For Your Fantasy Hockey League Draft
With September just around the corner, it's time to create a strategy for your upcoming fantasy hockey draft. Here are some tips to get your started…
- If you decide to draft Tuukka Rask, be prepared for the inevitable "Steve Mason" references from the gallery. Shut 'em up quickly with a sarcastic "because playing behind Chara is just like playing behind Fedor Tyutin, right?"
- Be sure to bump Kris Versteeg up on your draft cheat sheet. His numbers are set to rise because he'll finally be able to get a good night's sleep as opposed to staying out until the wee hours of the morning playing the role of Patrick Kane's wingman.
- If you draft Roberto Luongo, be sure to also use a late-round pick on backup Cory Schneider, and another one on farm team starter Tyler Weiman, and yet another one on farm team backup Eddie Lack. Remember, Keith Ballard is now on the Canucks.
- While it's alright to draft a couple aging players with the hope that you can squeeze one more good year out of them, it's never a good strategy to have your whole roster consist of these types. You can avoid getting yourself in this predicament by sticking a post-it on your monitor with the following rule written on it: Do Not Draft Any Red Wings.
- If your league counts penalty minutes, it's not a bad idea to use a late pick on a goon who will rack up the PIMs. Most of them will still be around in the last round so don't overpay, otherwise you'll be known in your league as "Mr. Sather".
- It's always nice to gain added flexibility by drafting players who are dual-position eligible. For example, Dustin Byfuglien is a forward who slots in as a defenseman in some games, thus making him eligible at both positions. Another example would be Mike Green, although for some reason the powers that be never update his position in the main computer.
- If you're playing with a new group of guys who don't know each other very well and you sense the draft atmosphere is kinda cold, I suggest you draft Evander Kane with your next pick. The jubilation and applause that follows will surely break the ice.
- Contrary to what you've been hearing from the media all summer, a great manager does not go into a season with Mike Smith and Dan Ellis as his two goalies.
- Speaking of Dan Ellis, should you draft him, try to refrain from calling yourself a "fantasy specialist" right after the selection. Doing so will just force you to explain the whole Ellis Twitter debacle and in turn make you look like one giant geek in front of the whole league. (If you need clarification on what the hell I'm talking about, reference the 2nd paragraph in this link — see, I look like one giant geek now, right?)
- If you're about to select Tomas Kaberle with the intention of trading him to another manager after the draft ends, you should probably rethink that pick.
- If during your draft you notice some of the other managers are writers for the Toronto Sun, try to make them feel at home by changing the league's language setting to Czechoslovakian. Howver, be sure to keep an eye on them 'cause they may try to do something unethical like trading amongst each other to form one "super team".
- Don't get too emotional with your roster. If you let your emotions run wild, you'll end up dropping a player who messed your team up, only to pick him up again a few months later with the expectation of a different result . That's sheer lunacy.
- Don't draft Alex Tanguay. Especially if you've been burned by him before.
- Oh, and don't ever trade one good player (who may or may not have a celebrity girlfriend) for a package of lesser-skilled players.
- But don't worry too much about the last three things. They'll only spell your team's downfall if you make all three mistakes in the course of one calendar year and surely nobody on this planet would ever be that dumb.
- Lastly, since all fantasy leagues end in the regular season, it's okay for you to draft Russian-born players.
Hopefully this list will serve you well… good luck, my friends!
For those still reading, I'll be a guest on Rink Side Rants this coming Thursday at 9pm est. Yup, this will be my podcasting debut so if you want to hear some lame attempts at humor and just overall awkwardness which will make you cringe, do tune in.
You can also follow me on Twitter, where the push for 1000 followers is gaining steam.
Season Preview Rankings feat. Drake: #30 to #26
For the past five months, I've been working really hard to assemble this feature, so please respect these rankings like Brian Burke respects a no-trade-clause.
Three quick points I want to make before getting into it…
- I managed to interview Steve Yzerman and get his input, thus adding instant credibility to the rankings!
- Drake was also selected to help me because: 1) he's Canadian and soundsacts like he took his fair share of Evander Kane-like right hooks, so you know he knows the game; 2) he's really popular with the younger generation and also friends with LeBron James, which means he must be like a super cool guy.
- These are, simply put, the best rankings ever created. Other "experts" don't know what they are talking about unless they copy these rankings word for word.
#30 – New York Islanders
Biggest offseason story: The one where TSN's Darren Dreger was made to look dumb.
Best case: Matt Moulson proves he's not 100% dependent on Tavares, only 95%.
Worst case: Tavares gets injured causing Moulson to get sent to the AHL and Rob Schremp becomes the go-to-guy on offense.
Why they're #30: When one of your goalies is 41 years old and the other one has a body of a 93-year-old, it makes it hard to put you in at #29.
Steve Yzerman says: "Blades, suck my c*ck, you c*ck sucking a**hole!"
Let's hear what Drake has to say about the Islanders:
Bout to roll me a blunt with my list of regrets
burn it all, burn it all, I'm starting fresh
cause half the time I got it right, I probably guessed
Final verdict: They'll play as good as they look on paper.
#29 – Florida Panthers
Biggest offseason story: Made the mistake of thinking their acquisition of the Big 3 (Michael Grabner, Steve Bernier, Dennis Wideman) wouldn't get overshadowed in the Miami sports world. When it was, they hastily hired someone to do their marketing; a 15-year-old kid from Iowa, who they met while playing NHL 10 on xBox Live.
Best case: Michael Grabner has a breakout year and finishes the season with 30 goals, 20 assists and only a minus-25.
Worst case: Panther fans start thinking how different things would be if they had someone like Rob Schremp on their team.
Why they're #29: Because they're always #29.
Steve Yzerman says: "Hey, Blades. How many f*ucking Stanley Cups have you won, a**hole?"
Let's hear what Drake has to say about the Panthers:
Look at where I landed
You would think I planned it
I'm just doin' me and you could never understand it
Final verdict: Vokoun and their defensemen will make them better than the Isles, which is, um, awesome, I guess.
#28 – Anaheim Ducks
Biggest offseason story: Played a very fun game of "let's piss off our 23-year-old two-time 30-goal scorer" all summer long.
Best case: They end up with a top-5 pick in the 2011 draft, who should compliment their top-5 pick from the 2010 draft, Cam Fowler.
Worst case: Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf realize they're underpaid, form their own union, and go on strike.
Why they're #28: After Getzlaf, Perry and Ryan (possibly), you have a team which consists of too many players who are either aging or injury-prone or castoff journeymen. Or in the case of Andy Sutton, all three.
Steve Yzerman says: "What's that, Blades? You've won ZERO Stanley Cups? Sh*t, with the way you flap your gums, I would have thought that number would have been much higher."
Let's hear what Drake has to say about the Ducks:
Emotions in this game run deep
done a lot of sh*t they never get to do
so before they say this to me in my sleep
I'd like to say it's been a pleasure
reppin' to my last second, dude
Final verdict: Not even Scott Niedermayer returning in the middle of the season can save this team.
#27 – Edmonton Oilers
Biggest offseason story: Found out what the rest of us already know: it's hard working with a drunken Russian.
Best case: If they keep signing enough goalies, eventually one may go on a run like Michael Leighton did in May… which will be an awesome two weeks for Oilers fans.
Worst case: Amidst a 20-game losing streak, the team launches a workplace sexual harassment investigation, where they learn that Khabibulin has been sneaking vodka into the dressing room and corrupting the youngsters.
Why they're #27: Because I like to be different from every other site who will have them at #30.
Steve Yzerman says: "Classy, man, making fun of alcoholism and Russians. You're a bi*ch, Blades!"
Let's hear what Drake has to say about the Oilers:
man, they treat me like a legend
am I really this cold?
I'm really too young to be feeling this old
it's about time you admit it, who you kidding, man
nobody's ever done it like I did (ugh)
Final verdict: While it looks like it'll be another long year in Edmonton, I can see this team climbing a bit higher in the rankings. Either way, Edmonton fans can take solace in that someone other than the Grim Reaper finally got to benefit from Dany Heatley's douchiness.
#26 – Minnesota Wild
Biggest offseason story: The huge-dollar contract extension given to Mikko Koivu sparked a spirited debate between diehard Minnesota Wild fans and those who actually have a brain.
Best case: Given that he's such an amazing defensive center, there's a good chance that Koivu's negative +/- rating last season was a one-off. If he gets back in black and posts 70+ points again, he'll only be slightly overpaid.
Worst case: *yawn*
Why they're #26: I'm not 100% sure, but I think I'd rather take the Leafs' forwards over their Wild's, which means I may be a little generous with this ranking.
Steve Yzerman says: "You sh*thead! The Dan Snyder reference in the last ranking was absolutely tasteless. If I ever see you in person, I swear to God… ARGH! F*CK!"
Let's hear what Drake has to say about the Wild:
this is me
still the same
they want the hits
I play the game
no auto tune, but you can feel the Pain
it all comes spilling out like I hit a vein
Final verdict: The only time you should concern yourself with the Wild this year is if you have trouble falling asleep. Think of them as a cheaper alternative to an Ambien prescription.
This concludes the first part of the season preview. Stay tuned for ranks #25 to #21 which will be posted sometime soon (hopefully before October). In the meantime,don't forget to follow me on Twitter 'cause I'm *this* close to living out of my childhood dream of having 1000 followers. Granted, I always envisioned having to start a cult to get to that number; never imaged a hockey blog would do the trick.
The Difficult Life Of A Professional Athlete
I'm sure this post will upset half the people reading it (meaning 1 or 2 people at the most), but I thought I'd voice a different point of view than the one I've been reading since Belak's death.
I like hockey. I like sports in general. And while I stay current with the four major sports, I consider myself a casual sports fan at the end of the day because I rarely ever plan my days around sports — with the notable exception being the NFL Playoffs.
I refuse to put these athletes on some pedestal like I may have when I was a kid. Reading some of the stuff I've been reading the past few weeks leaves me a bit perturbed because it showers pity on professional athletes. That's just silly, in my opinion, of course.
Wade Belak committed suicide (allegedly). Rick Rypien committed suicide (allegedly). Derek Boogaard mixed pills with alcohol (allegedly) and died.
All sad tragedies for those who knew them on a personal level. And extra painful and sad for Belak's daughters who are the biggest victims of their father's death.
But I'm sorry, heroes or martyrs they are not. People commit suicide every day and most don't have the options or possibilities that professional athletes do.
And that's why these words by Georgs Laraque on the plight of enforcers really made me see what a delusional world some people live in.
"This job is so hard, physically and mentally," said Laraque. "You can go to a movie theatre the night before a game and you're thinking of the fight you're going to get into the next day.
"Like, you have to fight Boogaard. Then that game's over and it's like, 'OK, I have to fight Jody Shelley.' After that it's Brian McGrattan. You try not to think about it, but you start with the drugs or the alcohol and that creates the problem," Laraque continued.
"And, when you retire, most of the tough guys aren't set (for life). You don't make a lot of money as a fighter, so they're thinking 'OK, now what do I do? So they go back to drugs and alcohol. There's no options."
I'm sorry but this is typical "I have it so rough" drama queen type stuff.
Let's address the "when you retire, most of the tough guys aren't set (for life)" line. Minimum salary in the NHL these days is over $500k a year. You play in the league for four years and you're basically a millionaire after agent fees, taxes, etc. 100% of the population can retire with $1,000,000 in their bank. That is, unless they want to live a lifestyle that's not entirely needed.
Now the line "So they go back to drugs and alcohol. There's no options." Are you kidding me? There are options available for professional athletes that aren't available to anyone in society. Putting "NHL Player" on your resume I would imagine opens up way more doors than, say, "Hockey Blogger."
Some use this to their advantage. others toil away in self-pity; Just like in the general population.
And now to the line "This job is so hard, physically and mentally." While I can see the fighting week in and week out taking its toll on a person, this is another self-pity line by Laraque. The life of on an NHLer is not hard, no matter what some people will write. They are pampered and taken care of in every single aspect of their lives.
They play a game that is made out to be more than a game, which some buy into causing unneeded stress. And while they may have to deal with physical injuries more often than the general population, it is the line of work they chose. Don't like it? Quit.
Which brings me to the other contradiction I keep reading. If life is so hard as a player, how can it be depressing when you retire?
I guess the one thing it's all about at the end of the day is personal greed. Some people want their fame, their perks, their lifestyle and their money. When they have to sacrifice something to get it, they wallow away in self-pity or complain. Kind of silly when you think about it, no?
As far as the disease of depression goes. It is just that: A disease. It affects everyone from athletes to cashiers. People shouldn't make the sport the story when it comes to depression but rather they should focus on the individual, his story and the disease itself. I know very little about Rypien, Boogaard and Belak's life story. You'd think people would focus more on that rather than the fact they were just hockey players.
Well, hockey players have been powerlifting for months and even if it means getting one of the best power racks, that's what they get!
In the case of Rypien, I just found out a few days ago that his girlfriend died in a car accident while he was in junior. Makes you think that would have a greater effect on his life path than fighting ever did, no?
And if hits to the head because of the sport are to blame for some athletes, then I'm sorry to sound cold, but that's the price of doing business. Just like every time I get on a plane, there's a chance the plane will crash. And even if we eliminate all unnecessary physical contact (like fighting), there's still going to be individuals abusing drugs and alcohol, because while they may live in a fantasy world, they're still human. And like many humans they like to create problems for themselves rather seeing their blessings.
Top Secret Playoff Scouting Reports
Many of you may not know this, but there is a top-secret scouting organization whose membership is comprised of retired Israeli Special Forces operatives and ninjas. This secret organization is highly skilled at assessing the psychological shortcomings of hockey players, as well as their on-the-ice deficiencies. We've learned that there are a couple teams in the NHL that pony up the millions in cash that is required for this group's top-secret scouting reports.
We cannot tell you how we were able to get our hands on this latest report, but rest assured that none of us working here at Blades of Funny headquarters are allowed to go down into the basement for the next three months. All we can speak on the subject is that we saw someone who appeared to be Darryl Sutter, leading someone who appeared to be Jay Bouwmeester (only with a burlap bag over his head), into what he playfully called the "I'll teach you to make a sucker out of me" room.
Western Conference
San Jose Sharks – Deploy a covert operation inside their dressing room which involves equipping every stall with a calendar that prominently tells the subject it is the month of April.
Chicago Blackhawks – Set up intelligence officers outside their team hotel. Four hours prior to game-time have your men slash the tires of their team bus. This will force the subjects to take either a cab or limousine to the game, thereby ensuring that several members of the team will be in no state of mind to concentrate on the game. Better yet, some may not even arrive at the arena after becoming distracted by random puck bunnies. * Should you be playing this team in the Stanley Cup Finals, before putting this plan into effect, make sure that Marian Hossa has a secure mode of transportation arranged to the arena.
Vancouver Canucks – While this may go against your gut instinct, it is essential that you spot this team a 1 or 2 goal lead late in the 3rd period. Subjects have been known to be unable to respond to such a scenario. This is especially true for the subject who wears jersey #1.
Phoenix Coyotes – In order to have any chance of victory, you must warn everyone in your organization to not get within 2 feet of any subject wearing a jersey with the emblem of a howling coyote head. Failure to do so will result in unlimited powerplays against. Also, due to recent developments, having rattlesnake bite antidote on hand is the wise thing to do.
Nashville Predators – A report on this team will require a membership upgrade due to our employees having to pay a special "scout tax" to enter and watch games held at venues inside this state.
Detroit Red Wings – Step 1: plant propaganda stories in the papers that go on and on about what a "money" goaltender Chris Osgood has been in the playoffs. Step 2: plant propaganda stories in the papers that paint Mike Babcock as a genius for switching goalies in the middle of the Olympics. Step 3: enjoy facing Chris Osgood.
Los Angeles Kings – Not much is known about this squad because they have not participated in post-season hockey since the days of Jason Allison and Zigmund Palffy ruling the NHL. We did learn that in the past, however, calling for stick measurements has been known to work against this team… because they are a bunch of cheaters.
Colorado Avalanche – In order to win against Colorado, you must neutralize Joe Sakic and Peter Forbserg. Getting traffic in front of Patrick Roy is also a crucial key to victory. Syke! We've been too busy fooling around with our hot tub time machine to do a report on the current Avs. But don't worry about this team, they're in way over their heads… this year.
Eastern Conference
Washington Capitals – To gain an edge on this team, study film of the February 24th Olympic game between Canada and Russia. Formulate the same strategy that the team in the white jerseys used against the team in the red ones.
New Jersey Devils – Leave an envelope containing plane tickets to Hawaii and a list of tee times for the state's finest golf courses outside Ilya Kovalchuk's room. His predisposed instincts will take over and nobody in the Devils organization will be able to find him for a good week.
Buffalo Sabres – We're sorry to inform you that we have been unable to gather any intelligence on this team. This is because the Ontario-based scout assigned to cover this team traded in his tickets in hopes of snagging seats for the new Hamilton franchise. He was last seen standing outside Copps Coliseum, wearing a faded "make it seven" t-shirt, texting away feverishly on his blackberry about what what he plans to do to Gary Bettman and how big of an idiot Judge T. Baum is. Recent reports that our scout has been seen flying in and out of Atlanta have not been confirmed.
Pittsburgh Penguins – Prior to puck-drop, have your captain skate over to Marc-Andre Fleury and whisper the following in his ear: "I'm so glad that your hard work and dedication were rewarded with a well-deserved Olympic gold medal." Subject will spend the rest of the series distracted as he tries to figure out if your captain was serious or just a sarcastic a-hole.
Ottawa Senators – Prior to game 1 of the series, kidnap Jason Spezza and transport him to the nearest comedy club. This will result in him choking on his own laughter and leave the rest of the organization in no mood to play hockey.
Montreal Canadiens – Let agent Allan Walsh know that you've heard rumors that Carey Price has been strutting around the Canadiens dressing room like he owns the place, bragging to everyone who will listen that he will get all the playoff starts. This will surely result in an off-ice incident that will distract the franchise. If you really want to up the distraction ante, drop some rumors about the City of Montreal cracking down on organized crime.
Philadelphia Flyers – Shoot the puck on goal. Our computer analysis has informed us that if you do this, there is a 33% chance it will go in. This has proven to work time and time again, and should work again unless John Tortorella is choosing your lineup.
Boston Bruins – If you are able to locate the subject on this team who is an offensive threat (we have been able to find this person), send out one of your fourth-liners to take him out with a headshot. After a quick fight with Shawn Thornton, you are guaranteed that none of your players will be touched for the remainder of the series.
If you enjoyed this post, the only thing left for you to do is follow Blades of Funny on twitter. Tonight, I'll be on that machine celebrating the fact that Toronto finally won something meaningful this season… the draft lottery!
From The Mind Of Vladimir Sharapov
(This is a guest post written by Vladimir Sharapov (Владимир Шарáпов). Vladimir works as a baseball scout in his home country of Russia, but his true passion lies in the sport of hockey. We hope that you agree with us when we say that Vladimir will add both a serious and an international opinion to the Blades of Funny community. His posts are unedited from the copies that he sends us, save for the censoring of swear words.)
I write here TODAY to tell you about PROFOUND INJUSTICE done to my comrades. My expose will AWE and SHOCK you lazy North American who sit around eating cheese covered chip all day.
After watching games involving OVECHKIN vs. STUPID MONTREAL and MALKIN vs. UGLY MONTREAL. I can tell you this with no question in my mind: THE RUSSIAN SUPERSTARS WERE CHEATED IN THE PLAYOFFS.
YES IT IS TRUE. Every bone of VLADAMIR'S BODY feel truth must be told.
Montreal bad team who can not score goal on MICHAEL LEIGHTON but they defeat MALKIN AND OVECHKIN? THIS smell like more fish to VLADIMIR than the shores of SEVERDVINSK.
GOALTENDER from SLOVAKIA <Vladimir SPIT on floor> play like MIRACLE ON ICE vs. OVECHKIN and MALKIN but now he not able to stop MIDGET FRENCHMAN BRIERE and WALKING HOSPITAL PATIENT GAGNE. This no make any sense to VLADIMIR.
League do not want Cup of Stanley champion to be HANDSOME RUSSIAN MAN with flair of sabertooth tiger and instinct of killer bee. This why league conspire to ELIMINATE comrades with superior HOCKEY SKILL.
OR League afraid of CRAZY FANS in Philadelphia and Montreal so they act like chicken who do not want bones broken. I do not understand how Montreal defeat OVECHKIN and MALKIN back-to-back. IMPOSSIBLE.
Anti-RUSSIA conspiracy also effect DATSYUK and KOVALCHUK too but VLADIMIR not have evidence as clear about this like I have about Montreal. Plus DETROIT team get many breaks in previous times so it is CLEAR to VLADIMIR they not part of conspiracy.
You say to VLADIMIR: but what about NABOKOV and BROTHERS KOSTITSYN, they still in playoffs?
I write in previous post about NABOKOV how he not TRUE RUSSIAN because he too much CALIFORNIA DREAMING. About BROTHERS KOSTITSYN I choose not to talk about them. They good Russian boys and we leave it at that, OK? Good. No more question in future about BROTHERS KOSTITSYN, PLEASE.
I need to end now as I have to catch train to scout baseball tomorrow but I hope my words open eyes of hockey fans that league cheat and is anti-RUSSIAN. American Fans deprived of ability to watch best players in league because league eliminate all GREAT RUSSIANS. This make VLADIMIR'S STOMACH HURT more than water from village well.
Before I go, I answer COMMENTS AND WORDS FROM READERS FROM PREVIOUS POST…
I do not know what this mean. Everytime VLADIMIR visit America to scout baseball, people come up to me and say about player:
"He strong like Drago."
"He powerful like Drago."
"He probably juice like Drago."
Why should Vladimir care what juice player drink? SILLY AMERICANS. I do not get your conversation. NEXT!
Man who work as waiter write comment:
You must spend too much time in kitchen because RUSSIAN MEN do not golf. What sort of SISSY game is golf? Walk around park, hit little ball into little hole located in middle of park. GAME IS LAZY AND STUPID FOR FAT NORTH AMERICAN MEN.
You want to know what OVECHKIN and rest of RUSSIA MEN do to relax? WE hunt the elusive LYNX in SOUTHERN SIBERIA. This is what a REAL man do, not walk around park and hit white balls with stick.
Finally, lovely lady write to BLADES OF FUNNY ABOUT VLADIMIR:
Maybe you invite VLADMIR to marriage in North America so VLADMIR get visa and achieve life dream of working for Blue Jays of Toronto?
What can VLADIMIR offer in return for visa? I strong like ox, fix house without problem, hunt for food, and build magnificent well in your village. If you marry VLADIMIR you become ENVY of all women in village filled with fat and lazy NORTH AMERICAN MEN.
Владимир Шарáпов
The West Is Pretty Playoff Weak
Let me start off this post by stating how royally pissed off I am about HBO's "Luck" getting the boot after a few horses died on set and PETA/TMZ/JACKASSES decided to blow the story up. And, of courses, everyone is piling on now because our society is cool like that. I can just hear the phone calls to HBO in protest of the show by people with nothing better to do…
I would have called their bluff if I was HBO… especially if it was a male caller, 'cause no way in hell would any man ever cancel HBO with Eastbound & Down still playing. And chicks probably still dig True Blood 'cause vampires are still sexy, am I right, ladies?
So yeah, RIP "Luck". You'll be remembered for some great acting, awesome character development and intriguing story lines by this amigo. But with your departure, hopefully now, no horse will ever die, anywhere, ever again.
With that rant out of the way, let me focus on the hockey part of this post. I got to thinking last night and there are really only two teams in the West that would scare me in the playoffs. Before I get to them, let me list off the ones which don't.
St. Louis – I'd say they're the best team out of the teams which don't do it for me. I just can't see them getting past round 2. They've got an interesting mix of players, good character, and you'd think they could go far, but it's just hard for me to think this group is experienced enough as a whole (together) to really contend this year. Just a gut.
Detroit – Do you think they can survive the grind of the postseason? Hell, they can't even survive the grind of the regular season. I know, I know, 91 points is nothing to sneeze at but *sneeze*!
Dallas – Yeah, don't really see them doing much because, umm, they may not even make the playoffs.
Chicago – I don't know what the hell is wrong with the Blackhawks — "Goaltending, defensive depth, drunken Kane!" you say — but are they really fear-worthy at this point? Hell no.
Phoenix – Mike Smith had an epic February so you know things will even out with him having an epic disaster of an April. Can you really picture the Coyotes having playoff success? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Colorado – Too young.
San Jose – They sadly made a trade for Dominic Moore which means that they now face the "Curse of Dominic Moore" and will have no playoff success. Plus, it's kind of time for them to fade out of the picture. They do play in San Jose, after all.
Calgary – BAHAHAHAAHAHA
Los Angeles – Sadly, they have the great ability to mess everything up. I think that became their lot in life after the McSorley stick incident.
So that leaves Vancouver and Nashville as the two teams in my mind that could make hay in the West.
Vancouver has their own issues from Luongo's psyche to the Wonder Twins misplacing their special rings (I'm sure they'll find them come April), but you still gotta give them the edge here. The one issue I see is that they may run out of gas with another long playoff push.
Nashville is pretty stacked top to bottom without any superstars up front. I'm not exactly sold on Radulov being a difference maker because it's probably hard to adjust playing in that crap league over there to getting thrown into the playoffs over here. He'll probably be a disaster and take his butt back to Russia soon after where he can return to being that mysterious Russian star hockey player, without the mystery. But with their goaltending and blueline, hard to argue against the Preds going far.
So yeah, how about that. Another post done!
Return Of The Mack
So I'm back up in the game
Running things to keep my swing
Letting all the people know
That I'm back to run the show
90′s music for the MOTHER EFFIN' WIN!
It's March 14th. I think Arron Asham has had a long enough run as the face of Blades of Funny —since October 14th for christ's sake! It's true that I've been away from blogging because of concussion-like symptoms. However, no media showed up at my door asking when I'll be back. I didn't even get any emails asking if I'm alright… or even a "hey jackass, hope you didn't die from mold poisoning in your basement, idiot blogger!"
Not that I'm bitter or anything.
A little sad, sure… but not bitter.
Not at all.
Seriously, I ain't. Let it go already!
The spam bots left enough comments on BoF to make up for YOUR lack of caring.
But yeah, earlier this week I received an email from my domain registrar telling me this prime piece of internet real estate is about to expire. So I remembered I still have a blog! And it might be time to update it.
Life has been busy. Me and the Missus had a baby at the end of November –THIRD ONE! BOOM, I GOT POTENT SPERM!!! So time has been quite scarce. And between blogging or running my fantasy teams, something had to give.
I've moved away from reading blogs — save for Down Goes Brown, Puck Daddy, Fantasy Hockey Scouts (hey, I play to win!) and some parts of Backhand Shelf — and moved on to getting my hockey fix from podcasts. Marek vs. Wyshynski is pure awesomeness. Their sweet, sweet voices put me to sleep every night when I fire up the podcast — which is not to say it's boring or dull, just that I'm dead tired usually so I dose off after 1/2 hour. Backhand Shelf is the other one I tune into all the time. So yeah, find the podcasts help with my ADD… or contribute to it. Either way, I'm a happy camper.
In January, I put down $100 on the Canucks to win the Cup. $900 coming my way if that happens. Feel pretty confident with this one still.
I also put down $20 on the Caps to make the Finals at 11 to 1 odds. Don't feel as confident here (should've bet on the Pens instead).
As far as players who I've fallen in love with this year (mostly because of fantasy hockey)… Alex Pietrangelo! Dude is money after a slow start.
Who/what do I still hate? Call me Brian Burke but advanced stats are so damn boring. I've made a conscious effort to never read about them ever again!
Some other thoughts:
– Don Cherry is awesome.
– This "ringette" line that they're thinking of implementing is retarded (not a politically correct statement in this age of softness, I know, but it is!). Why don't we just make a Pac-Man maze that the defesemen have to follow in order to advance the puck of the zone. Maybe make it a corn maze. Boom!
– The Mario Lemieux statue is pretty damn ugly. I'm not sure it's ever a good idea to put other people in a statue unless their legacies are intertwined (like Matt Cooke and Marc Savard, for instance). But taking that little tidbit out, the fact that when you see two giant asses in the air right behind him, makes me just shake my head.
– Cody Hodgson is like a Christian Ehrhoff. He's a product of the Canucks system. Won't be as good as many think he will be. Zack Kassian is going to be a beast. He skates so well for a dude his size and has nice hands and not to mention has that sandpaper to him. Good trade for Vancouver. Thumbs up to Gillis, thumbs down to the haters.
I think that's all for today. I'm going to try to get this blog going again. Maybe do a redesign and make it cooler. But I missed you guys. Spam bots just don't do it for me. Leave some comments dammit so I know someone at least read this! Hahaha.


text:
The Royal Air Force on Thursday 29 September started one if its largest operations in recent history, deploying Eurofighter Typhoons to the Far East. Meanwhile, the Red Arrows embark on a world tour that takes the team and its twelve Hawk trainer jets to 15 different countries.
The operation is named Eastern Venture and marks the first time Typhoons deploy to countries such as Japan and South Korea. There, the jets take part in military exercises alongside the Japan Air Self Defense Force (JASDF) and Republic of Korea Air Force (ROKAF).
Four Typhoons will fly to Japan with the support of Voyager tanker aircraft and a C-17 cargo aircraft. In Japan, the jets will operate from Misawa airbase in exercise Guardian North 16, that also sees Japanese F-2 and F-15 fighter aircraft participating.
Next, the Typhoons will head to South Korea, undoubtedly as a show of force to neighbouring North Korea. Osan Air Base will host the aircraft, as well as ROKAF F-15s and F-16s. US Air Force F-16s and A-10s are permanently based at Osan.
Meanwhile, the Red Arrows will visit India, China, Thailand, Singapore, Vietnam, Kuwait and the United Arab Emirates amongst other countries, taking part in airshows and flying the UK flag.
Featured image: A RAF Typhoon on the flightline of Nellis during night ops (Image © LAC Michael Green / 28SQN AFID-CBR / Commonwealth of Australia, Department of Defence)

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Oh Khloe, there's nothing right about this outfit.
Reality star Khloe Kardashian was spotted doning these light mint coloured pants, a matching zebra top, black fitted blazer and Louboutin pumps.
Now, we appreciate her heels and fitted blazer, but wearing pants that blend in with your shirt is never flattering. Ever.
The faux pas outfit was worn while the Kardashian sisters were shopping in Hollywood for an episode of their upcoming "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" reality show. So, yay!, we'll likely see Khloe in this get-up again.
It's also important to note, a confusion over pants seems to run in the Kardashian family. Not too long ago, older sister Kourtney was caught wearing a tunic without pants.
What do you think about this look? Let us know in the comments below or check out more photos of the Kardashians hitting up stores on Melrose at X17online.com.


text:
The great time of looking into God's Word that culminates our worship service, I trust is a time that you look forward to as we hear the very voice of God through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit on the pages of Scripture. We find ourselves in Paul's letter to the Corinthians that we know as 2 Corinthians, chapter 7. We're looking at a portion of Scripture starting in verse 5 and running to verse 16 to end the chapter.
We've entitled this section, "Comfort out of conflict." And this will be our last message in this chapter. In John's gospel chapter 13 and verse 20 Jesus said this, "He who receives whomever I send receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me." That is a very, very important and notable statement. Let me say it again. Jesus said, "He who receives whomever I send receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me." The Corinthian church, frankly, would have done well to remember and honor that truth. But they did not. In fact, in rejecting Paul as they had done, they rejected both the Lord Jesus Christ and God the Father. By not receiving the one whom Jesus sent, they rejected Jesus and the One who sent Him, God the Father. It is then an appalling sin that these Corinthians have committed against Paul, against Christ and against God because all three are inextricably linked together. The Father sends the Son, the Son sends the messenger.
It is then a serious thing to rebel against the one whom the Lord sends. That is why in the book of Hebrews we are reminded to submit to those who are over us in the Lord. They are sent by God. And we are to obey them, and submit to them. And so doing thus we submit to Christ and to the Father who sent Him. They are given the responsibility, according to Hebrews 13:17, of watching over our souls. They have a delegated responsibility on behalf of God and Christ to watch over our souls. And the apostle Paul was a noble and faithful soul watcher, soul keeper. In 2 Corinthians chapter 12 and verse 15 he said, "I will most gladly spend and be expended for your souls." He was a soul watcher, so serious and so devoted that he would literally expend himself and even give his life to protect their souls. He understood his duty. He understood the nature of it. He understood who he represented as an under-shepherd of Christ. But unfortunately the Corinthians didn't and so they had rebelled against Paul, defected from him, joined a series of accusations made against him by false apostles, and they had allowed a mutiny to being in their church, perhaps led by one in particular who had in him a messenger from Satan, or at least was being assaulted by a demon who was leading this effort to discredit the beloved apostle.
Paul, of course, then lost his joy and found in its place grief when his people did not treat him properly. Grief, by the way, that inner unexpressed agony and groaning that can lead to tears was not alone the experience of Paul. You can to back to Jeremiah who also had a similar situation where faithful to the Lord he spoke the truth of God and endeavored to shepherd the people of God and was completely rejected to the degree that his sorrow ran so deep, he said this, chapter 9 verse 1, "O that my head were waters and my eyes of fountain of tears that I might weep day and night." He said I don't have enough tears to express my sorrow. A similar attitude, of course, was that of our Lord Jesus Christ who wept over the city of Jerusalem and said, "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, how often I would have gathered you but you would not." The Corinthians had brought intense grief to Paul. And as Hebrews 13:17 says it became unprofitable to them because once his grief reached the proportions that it did, he no longer wanted to visit them, he no longer wanted to go see them because he feared only greater sorrow. And so they were severed from his influence, and severed from his teaching. Furthermore, the grief was compounded because when he did write them what he wrote them was confrontational rather than instructional. It was chastisement rather than encouragement. And so the relationship had reached serious...a serious breach.
We've been looking at this relationship all the way through this letter. And you will remember that before writing this letter he had all of these very depressing feelings about the Corinthian situation and their disaffection for him and their leaving him and violating the relationship and turning against him. And so he wrote them a letter called the Severe Letter. We've called it that. He also sent them Titus. They have received the letter and they have received Titus. Titus is on his way back and Paul is waiting for Titus to report to him how they responded to the letter and to Titus' visit. Did they turn from their mutinous attitude? Did they desire to restore the relationship with Paul? That was his heart's desire and he was waiting for Titus to bring him the report. That's where we pick it up in chapter 7 verse 5. Let me just set the scene by reading it.
"For even when we came into Macedonia our flesh had no rest, but we were afflicted on every side, conflicts without...no doubt referring to persecutions...and fears within...no doubt referring to the depression he felt over this breach in their relationship...But God...verse 6...who comforts the depressed comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted in you."
And so the Apostle Paul finally has his long awaited rendezvous with Titus. It isn't at Troas as he had hoped it would be, it's somewhere in Macedonia. He pursuing Titus, finally met him and Titus brings him comfort by his own presence. Titus secondly brings him comfort because he reports how he was well received by the Corinthians. But Titus brings him comfort, most of all, verse 7 says, because of his report. Based on that report, the end of the verse, he rejoiced even more.
It was wonderful to have Titus. It was wonderful to hear how they treated Titus. But it was most wonderful of all to hear the report of Titus. And Titus' report is very simple. They want your forgiveness, they want the relationship restored. This brings tremendous joy to the heart of Paul. He loves these people dearly and the broken relationship has been a depressing thing in his own experience.
Now to bring this into the world in which we all live, we've been saying that we all understand the dynamics of a broken relationship. We all understand that. A broken friendship, a severed relationship with someone who was important to us, a broken marriage, a broken family where children leave, a broken relationship between brothers or brothers and sisters, we all understand that. We have all endured broken relationships. We've endured people who once were our friends who by some inexplicable circumstances have now become our enemies. And we all know what that feels like and we all know how we would long to have that relationship restored. Paul wanted to have restoration from the sorrowful, sinful breach that had come between himself and the Corinthians, due to no fault of his, but the sin in their own lives and the deception of the false apostles.
Well Titus brings the good news and the good news is the Corinthians want a full restoration. And immediately the question is...Well how can we be sure, right? We've heard that before. Somebody has done something to violate us, they've broken the relationship, gone off, said terrible things about us, behaved themselves in a very sinful way and now all of a sudden they want the relationship back. How do we know it's really real? How does a wife know she should take that husband back? How does a husband know he should take that wife back? How does a parent know he should take back those children? How does a friend know he ought to expose himself to that once faithful friend after such sinful betrayal and not get hurt all over again even more deeply? How do we know we can trust that individual? How do we know that the desire for restoration is from the heart and is genuine?
Well that's a fair question and it needs to be asked and it always is asked. I suppose when we talk about divorces and broken marriages which we do every week of the year here as a pastoral staff, the question that comes up all the time is...How do I know that I can believe this person when they tell me they've changed and they really want to come back and make it right? That is always the issue. What do I look for? What's the evidence of reality here? How do I know repentance is real?
And so, in this text as Paul rehearses for us this meeting with Titus, out of this terrible conflict comes comfort to the Apostle's heart because he can see there are several elements that indicate genuineness, the elements of a genuine desire for a restored relationship...whether it's to a friend, to a church, to leadership of a church, to a marriage, to a family, whatever it might be. Here are the elements by which you will recognize a genuine desire for real restoration.
Element number one is loyalty. We saw that in verse 7, he reported to us your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me so that I rejoiced even more. And I simply need to remind you that the fact that they longed for Paul, they mourned over the thing that had happened between them and they had this passionate drive to make it right and to be restored indicates they were reaffirming their loyalty. And that's at the heart of everything. Please, we regret the disloyalty, we want to reaffirm we are loyal. And that little phrase "for me" should be put after each of those statements in verse 7, longing for me, mourning for me, your zeal for me. They wanted that relationship restored. They were loyal from the heart and they wanted to reestablish the broken relationship.
Secondly, we said another element of genuineness in a restored relationship is repentance...repentance. And we talked about that last time. Let me just read you verses 8 to 10. "Though I caused you sorrow by my letter," obviously because it confronted their sin, "I do not regret it, though I did regret it," he had a little bit of remorse, a little fear that they might not react positively. But he says, "I don't regret it now because I see that that letter caused you sorrow though only for a while. I now rejoice not that you were made sorrowful but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance, for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God," or with a godly sorrow, "in order that you might not suffer loss in anything through us for the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret leading to salvation but the sorrow of the world produces death."
He says I know that your hearts desire for a restored relationship is real because I see your repentance and your repentance is not just worldly sorrow, it's godly sorrow, that is evident. I rejoice that you were made sorry and that your sorrow was godly sorrow that leads to repentance. This was sanctified remorse demonstrating that they were saved. It was in the sphere of, the realm of with reference to salvation.
Remember now, Paul was a reluctant disciplinarian. He found no pleasure in their pain. It hurt him because he loved them so deeply that any suffering they suffered, he suffered by empathy. He had no pleasure in their grief, he only had pleasure in their repentance. He got no pleasure out of their sorrow, only that it was godly sorrow that led them to repentance. It was a real sorrow for sin and a desire to turn from it that brought him joy. Paul saw godly sorrow, he saw true repentance and we went over that in detail last time.
So, in a restored relationship there is loyalty and there is repentance. Let's take a third point and pick it up this morning, purity...purity. This really is inextricable from the issue of repentance but I simply make it a separate point just to break this up in manageable bites. What does repentance look like? When somebody says they repent, what are we to expect? What do they do? How do they define that in attitude and how do they define that in practice? How can we know that the repentance is really true and genuine? Answer, because there will be an aggressive turning toward holiness. There will be an aggressive turning toward purity.
Let's look at verse 11 where we find this point. Verse 11, at the end of the verse, Paul says this, "You demonstrated in everything that you were innocent in the matter." It's an interesting thing. In everything you manifest, you revealed, you put on display your innocence in this issue. The word "innocent" here is hagnos in the Greek, it means pure, it means holy. He is saying you demonstrated the integrity of your repentance by your holiness, by your purity, by your guiltlessness, by your innocence. And that is always the indicator of real repentance. When John the Baptist said, "Bring forth fruit unto repentance," what was he looking for? He was looking for evidences of holiness, purity. Now they weren't always pure but they were since their repentance. And now there was no sin. Now there was manifest demonstrable, visible holiness. And that's why Paul rejoiced. Comfort swept over him because they had moved from impurity to purity, from unholiness to holiness. And that's the evidence of a real repentance.
You say, "Well now, how do you see that? How do you sense that that's really there? I mean, you can't see everything they do, how do you know that's there?" Well in verse 11 purity is defined in a list of attitudes, manifest attitudes that are absolutely essential to an understanding of repentance. I suppose in my life time I've read a lot of books on repentance...old books, new books. I suppose I've heard a few messages on repentance. I suppose I've had a myriad of discussions about repentance. I don't think I've ever heard anybody refer to this particular verse which in my mind is the clearest definition of evidences of true repentance anywhere on the pages of Scripture. So when you are looking to access or evaluate the legitimacy, honesty or integrity of anyone's repentance, here is a verse you can go to for a measure that will validate it. And Paul begins in verse 11 by saying, "For behold," and I have to stop there and say that he is really overwhelmed. I mean, the repentance is so manifest that he can't resist beginning with an exclamatory statement. I suppose in the vernacular it would be something like this, "Wow, this is really overwhelming. I mean, you really are making it clear how you feel." This phrase "for behold" shows the exhilaration, it is a phrase in the Greek language meant to demonstrate an exclamatory exhilarating attitude. Paul is literally thrilled about what he sees and what he has heard as Titus reports to him his firsthand eyewitness account. Their repentance had real substance, practical, visible, observable effects and he gives them right here. And these are the things you look for.
"For behold, what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow has produced in you." You can just feel the emotion and the intensity of that statement. Wow...he says...this very thing, this godly sorrow so to be treasured has produced in you, what earnestness. And by the way, the use of "what" all the way through here, what, what, what, what, he just keeps repeating it. It's to add greater intensity. He doesn't just say, "For behold, this has produced earnestness in you." No, he says, "For behold, what earnestness..." In other words, it's a comparative, not just earnestness but an elevated high level category of earnestness. What an amazing level of earnestness.
So here's the first thing. Where there is real repentance there will be a manifest earnestness produced. What is it? It's a word for eagerness...eagerness. Now what it means is an eagerness toward righteousness, toward purity. It ends the indifference toward sin, the indifference toward iniquity, the complacency about evil and deception that led the person into that in the first place. It produces a strong desire to do right, to make things right, to make restitution, to correct, to restore the broken relationship. There will be a passion, there will be a movement to make it right, an eagerness. It's not a situation where you have to...you have to sort of cajole and badger and you have to push and press and intimidate and command and drive this person to do what is right, it is the very most initial reaction of true repentance to eagerly and aggressively pursue righteousness no matter what. You don't have to beat them into that, you don't have to push them into that, you don't have to force them into that. When they really come to genuine repentance and see the seriousness of sin, there will be a literally overwhelming eagerness to pursue what is right. So that's what you look for.
If the person comes back and says, "Well, I don't know how I feel, I'm not real sure, but I'm willing to give it a try," you can be sure real repentance has not taken place. They'll almost knock you over with their desire to do what is right. They won't need to be pressured to do it.
Secondly, verse 11 says, "What vindication of yourselves," not just a vindication of yourself, but what a level of vindication of yourselves. What is this? What does it mean to vindicate yourself? It means to clear your name. What a...what a longing you have to clear the stigma that has been attached to you because of your sin. What a strong desire to make up for your iniquity and your failure and to rid yourself of all your guilt and to remove that sin from you and restore people's trust and confidence in you. The Corinthians had this tremendous desire to clear their names, to get the stigma off because of what they had done. And that's part and parcel of real repentance. When there's real repentance and a seeking to restore a relationship, there is an eagerness to do what is right, and there is a strong desire to clear your name and remove the stigma of your sin from you.
And how do you do that? By making sure everyone knows that you have repented, and you have turned around and you are pursuing righteousness. And you want it known as far and wide as your sin was known.
Thirdly, "What indignation." And again not just indignation, but what a high level of indignation. What is the word "indignation" saying? Anger, it's a word about anger. We often associate it with a holy anger, or righteous indignation, we call it. It is anger at your sin, it is anger at the shame you have brought on yourself, on the Apostle Paul, on the Lord Jesus Christ, on God, on the church. There is a real anger over the fact that you have been deceived and discredited. They hated their disloyalty. They hated their iniquity. They hated their sin. They hated their reluctance to deal with that man who was leading an assault against Paul under the influence of some demon. They hated the fact that they didn't come to Paul's protection and defense. They hated the fact that they had fallen victim to the lies of deceivers who were spreading things that weren't true about Paul. They hated the fact that they had identified themselves with defectors. They were literally outraged over their sin. That's an indication of real repentance. There's a meekness in real repentance. There's a brokenness in real repentance. And what it is is this outrage and indignation over your own iniquity. And then fourthly, Paul gives us another in his list of attitudes germane to a real repentance, "What fear...what fear." Or to put it in terms that will convey the meaning, what reverence toward God who has been grievously offended. Your irreverence has turned to reverence. Your brash, bold sinning has turned to a fear that the holy God might be dishonored, you have a new sense of reverence for God, a new healthy fear for the one who chastens and judges.
You could even say...what worship. You've turned away from your sin and now you've come holy before God in worship. There will be a longing, believe me, when real repentance takes place. There will be a longing, driving, eagerness to make the relationship right. There will be a strong desire to clear one's name and remove the stigma that sin has brought. There will be hatred, outrage, indignation over iniquity in one's own life. And there will be a longing to reverence God and fear God and exalt God and worship God appropriately, a new sense of holy fear.
Number five in Paul's list, picks up a word he used back in verse 7 also to describe the attitude of the Corinthians, "What longing...what yearning." Here again is this yearning to have the relationship right, this yearning to be restored to Paul. And then he adds the word "What zeal." Zeal is a tremendous word, I love this word because it's so rich. It's a twofold emotion. Zeal speaks of loving something so much that you hate anything that hurts it. You could say you have zeal toward God and when you love God so greatly you hate anything that dishonors His name. You have zeal toward your church when you love your church so much you hate anything that would destroy its testimony. You have zeal toward the Word of God when you love it so much you hate anything that strikes a blow against its integrity and its truthfulness. When you love your partner in life so much you hate anyone who would harm them. You love your children so much you hate anything that would injure them. That's zeal. And the Corinthians had esteemed now the Lord and esteemed the Apostle and esteemed the church so highly as to hate anything that harmed whom and what they loved.
And then number seven in this list, as he sort of culminates it and it interests me that there are seven of them, sort of the number of completion, he's pulled it all together here. "What avenging of wrong...what avenging of wrong." Let me tell you something, when repentance is real, in the end it seeks that justice be done. Wherever repentance is real it seeks that justice be done. It doesn't protect itself anymore. It wants the wrong avenged. It deals with the wrong, including accepting whatever might come.
Now you remember that these people in Corinth finally did confront that man. Back in chapter 2, Paul refers to that. And they demanded justice. In fact, they were so strong that Paul said this to them, "Sufficient for such a one is the punishment which was inflicted by the majority." That's enough. You've...you've done what needed to be done, you avenged the wrong, you enacted what justice demanded, that's enough, don't go beyond that or you'll just bring grief upon grief upon grief. Sufficient is the suffering inflicted already.
That's the stuff that repentance is made of. It's all about an eagerness to do what is right. It's all about a desire to clear one's name and remove the stigma of terrible shame because of sin. It's all about an outrage, an indignation over one's own sin, a proper fear and reverence of God, a longing to restore the relationship, a zeal for what is pure and holy and right and good, and it's all about demanding that justice bring what justice would. That's repentance. That's the kind of purity that flows out of true repentance.
So they repented. And that repentance was manifest in the purity demonstrated in the attitudes right here indicated in verse 11. In every way from every perspective they demonstrated the real thing in terms of repentance. What do you look for then when someone says they want to be restored and you want the relationship back? You look for loyalty, you look for real repentance manifesting itself in a passion for purity. It's not reluctant, it's aggressive. You don't have to push it, it's going to happen. You don't have to force it on the outside by some kind of high levels of accountability, it will just come right out of a totally repentant heart. It will come from the inside out, it will just explode. That's the stuff or real restoration.
Let's take a fourth term as we divide this passage up, we'll use the term spirituality. I don't know if that's really the right title for this part, but maybe it will help us address the point that Paul makes here in verse 12...spirituality. Now obviously someone who has wandered away, severed a relationship, entered into sin, gone into error, spoken critically, unkindly, mercilessly, caused division, whatever may be involved in the breakup of that relationship, obviously they're behaving in a way that could be simply defined as carnal, fleshly. And when they come back what you're looking for is not carnality but spirituality. And I think that's indicated in verse 12 in the words that Paul says, very interesting verse. Let me read it. "So although I wrote to you it was not for the sake of the offender, nor for the sake of the one offended, but that your eagerness or earnestness on our behalf might be made known to you in the sight of God." It's a very curious verse.
First of all, it involves a Hebrew way of speaking by which the Hebrews in order to make a point strong would use a series of comparisons to do that. It was a dramatic device in speech. And so Paul uses it here. He could have said, "My purpose was that you might know your own earnestness." But he doesn't say that. Instead of just jumping to what his purpose was, he creates a dramatic effect by saying what it wasn't. And that just leads you up the ladder to the main point.
So, he says, "Although I wrote to you the severe letter, it was not for the sake of the offender. My main goal didn't deal with the man who had caused such a great offense and led the mutiny, nor was it for the sake of the one offended." Who's that? Him. I really didn't write that letter for the sake of the man although certainly he had a part in that. I didn't write that letter for my own sake either. Those are important issues, but not the main one. "I wrote that letter for your sake." It's my concern about you that gets to me. I have a measure of concern about the man and I have a measure of concern about myself, but the main issue is you. And my concern about you, listen to this, "Was that your earnestness on our behalf." Your eagerness for me, put it other words, your loyalty to me, your love for me, your confidence in me, "might be made known to you."
Right out there where everybody can see, including God.
You say, "What do you mean by that, Paul?" What I mean is this. You're Christians and you know me and your spiritual side knows me well. You've met me and you've followed my life and you've heard me teach and you've seen my example and I was there twenty months or so and you know what I'm like. And the spiritual nature, your down-deep heart, the real core of who you are in Christ knows me for who I am and what I want to do is bring you to see your real attitude toward me. That's what he's saying. That your earnestness on my behalf might be made known to you so you'll get in touch with how you really feel.
Isn't it amazing? The Corinthians literally had been deceived to the degree that they held a view of Paul that wasn't really what they felt down deep. They knew better. What he's saying is, I wrote that letter to strip off the carnality and get back to the spirituality and I knew that if I could get to your spiritual core, you'd get in touch with how you really feel. You know that I preached the gospel to you and by it you were saved. You know that I taught you the principles of sanctification and by them you were blessed. You know that I told you the standards and patterns for the life of the church and you followed them and have enjoyed the fruit thereof. You know down in your spiritual heart what you feel about me, but you have been deceived. And layer upon layer upon layer of deception has been laid to cover that spiritual reality. I want you to know what you really feel. I want you to know that when you get in touch with the real heart attitude down deep, you love me, you trust me, you have confidence in me and you know that I am the servant of God, but your sin has covered it up. You have forgotten how you really feel. You have forgotten what you really know. You have forgotten what you really believe because you've cluttered your life with so many carnal deceptions and I just want to get it out in the open so you'll know how you really feel in the sight of God, right out there where everyone can see, including God, who has most at stake in your defection.
He wasn't in it for personal honor. And he wasn't in it for personal vengeance. He says I didn't write that letter just so you could give me some satisfaction by nailing that guy. And I didn't write that letter just so I could feel better about my reputation. I wrote that letter for you because I wanted you to understand what your real feelings were. Boy, there's a depth of love in that.
Paul is saying...I know down deep beneath your present attitude that you really love me. I know your real spiritual attitude, but you're so carnal and you're so sinful that you can't even get in touch with how you really feel. Boy, that is so sad and that happens so often. That happens in a marriage where a husband gets so...his life so cluttered up with sin and deception that he loses touch with how he really feels about the gift of a wife that God has given him. That happens with children who get so messed up and so cluttered up in a world of sin that they forget how they really feel about a precious mom and dad. That happens in a church where people get so messed up in their deceptions that they forget how they really feel about those who have brought them the truth of the gospel and fed them the Word of God and they become bitter and hostile toward the very ones to whom they owe the most. It happens in a friendship. It happens in broken relationships because sin and deception takes over and covers up the real feeling. And Paul's saying I wanted to get the carnality off. I wanted to rip that stuff out. Unload the baggage so you'd know how you really feel and we can get back to the relationship that is right one and the one that you know in your heart is the most honest reflection of your own attitude. If I can just get in touch with your...the depth of your heart, our relationship is going to be okay. I've just got to strip the deception away.
What makes the sorrowing pastor's heart rejoice? Loyalty, repentance, purity, and spirituality. When you get people down to who they really are in Christ and you get all the sin stripped out of their life, then you're going to have the relationship restored. It's amazing through the years when I think about how many people have left our church because of some wild deceptions that they have concocted on their own, or they have heard from somebody else who left the church, forsook the ministry, turned away and made a furor of some proportions, stormed away and in my heart of hearts I knew that wasn't their real feeling. That wasn't the spiritual attitude toward the leadership of this church. That was the carnal deceptions that had stacked up. And if they ever could be dealt with, there could be a real restoration. And where they are dealt with, there will be real restoration. I've known people who have left this church who years later came back to me and said I don't even know why, have absolutely no idea why, but I got away and I was away for a while and I realized...why am I doing this? This is where I love, this is where my people are, this is where my shepherds are, this is where I need to be. I've seen children do the same thing, wander away from the family and say, "I don't even know why I'm where I am." Certainly the prodigal had those kinds of thoughts.
It happens in a marriage. Why did I do this? What am I doing? This is so foolish when the deceptions become clear and back you go to the place of your first love. Spirituality will bring you back. And the Corinthians were demonstrating spirituality. They were manifesting the real spiritual attitude toward Paul.
Number five, unity. In verse 13 Paul begins by saying, "For this reason we have been comforted." He means that he's been comforted because of their spirituality, purity, repentance all rolled into one, their loyalty, everything he said from verse 7 on down. He says we're comforted, and besides our comfort, he says, "We rejoiced even much more for the joy of Titus because his spirit had been refreshed by you all."
By the way, he uses the phrase "you all" in verse 15, he uses the phrase "you all" twice. Some people think that because of that it indicates he was from the south. Very possible, south Tarsus where they all said "you all." But the point I want to make here is he was comforted because Titus was so full of joy. I mean, now look, Paul didn't get all this first hand. He got it out of Titus. But Titus was so filled with joy because Titus had seen the loyalty, the repentance, the purity, the spirituality and Titus had also seen the unity because he was refreshed by you all, and he saw, verse 15, the obedience of you all. And we go right back to chapter 2 verse 6 where he says the majority of you, and this was a sweeping movement here. There was real unity and, by the way, unity was at a premium in the Corinthian church. I mean, they defined division. Whenever you want to talk about division, you always go to 1 Corinthians, don't you? And talk about, "Are you not carnal? Can't speak to you as mature but as babes because there's divisions and schisms and fights and quarrels and you say I'm of Paul and you say I'm of Apollos and I'm of Cephas and I'm of Christ, and why can't you ever get together?" And he talks about how they were fractured. And that was their...that was characteristic of their whole life as a church. In 1 Corinthians 1, 1 Corinthians 3, 1 Corinthians 6, 1 Corinthians 11, and you even see wrong kind of unities, illicit unities in chapter 5 and chapter 8. I mean, they were divisive and divided and fractured. You see it in chapter 14 in the misuse of spiritual gifts and the chaos all over the church. You see it in the way they desecrated the Lord's table and held back food from certain people and got drunk and gorged themselves, and some folks had nothing to eat. I mean, it was a chaotic bunch of people who were disunited in many, many ways. And here all of a sudden he sees unity and they were all comforting Titus and they were all agreeing with the letter and they were all wanting to restore the letter...the relationship with Paul.
And Titus was refreshed, anapauo, he literally was given rest or relief, a truce. It's a word usually referring to a temporary relief as opposed to a permanent peace. For the moment there was relief. Paul knew there was still some pockets of discord back there and he addresses them later in this letter. There was still some pockets of dissent, there were still a few people who could foment another wave of this stuff, but for the moment there was a truce and the majority were involved. It shows the unity of the repenting assembly. This was a great joy in the light of the tendency of that congregation to be so fragmented.
And where I really believe you have a real repentance, there will be a coming together. And how would it happen? Well it would be very obvious to sort of dramatize the scene like this, the letter comes and a few folks are convicted to the heart, and they begin to take the responsibility to go around and start to spread the message. This is wrong what we have done. We must repent of this. And as they spread the word, the majority begins to grow and grow and everybody joins in and it's a collective repentance.
Let me tell you something about repentance. Where true repentance takes place the individuals who are repenting will do everything possible within their power and capability to make sure that they go back to everyone who has been a part of the dissent and embrace those people and pull them into that repenting circle. If they have gone and spread things far and wide, their deceptions and their iniquities have caused them to speak evil of the one with whom they are disaffected and broken, they will go back as far and wide as they can to make it right, to reembrace that group of people who were a part of their dissent and bring them back to unity of support. Where you have real repentance, I really believe the culprits who have become committed to holiness are going to go back and go as far and wide as they can to embrace those who have joined their dissent and call them to holiness along with them. And they feel that since they are the cause of the problem, they need to be instrumental in the solution as well.
You know, wherever there is a violated relationship, people want to justify what they did. So the sinning person in order to justify that usually starts a campaign against the person that they're leaving. I was talking to a friend of mine whose wife left him for no reason of his doing whatsoever. And I said, "Get ready because before this is done she will do everything in her power to destroy your reputation." It is necessary to justify and sanctify her evil choices. The destruction will come fast and furious and far reaching, expect that. I wasn't surprised to talk with him and find out as he shared with me through his tears that that is precisely what is happening. It's not new, it's always the way it is. When someone sets out to break up and sever a relationship and becomes deceived, in order to support and justify their own disaffection, they will attempt to gain a hearing. And so they will take their lopsided case to those who will listen and they will create a fortification around themselves of those who support and sustain their attitudes. And, on the other hand, when real repentance comes, they'll take that circle back and do everything within their power to restore the relationship as far and wide as they have been instrumental in destroying it.
It was wonderful news to Paul. It would have been good news if the man alone who had led the mutiny, the one who had confronted Paul had repented, but the thing went like a fire from place to place to place and pretty soon everybody in the majority was restored. When true repentance takes place, when there's a real desire for restoration, there is a passionate desire to embrace everybody whose been caught in the deception and bring them back.
Number six, obedience...obedience. The next thing would be in the case of Paul would be...what?...if the repentance was real, these people who were at odds with Paul would immediately come back and say, "We want to follow you again." Right? Hebrews 13:17, "Submit to those who are over you in the Lord, obey them." And that's exactly what happens. Verse 14, "If in anything I have boasted to him about you, I was not put to shame but as we spoke all things to you in truth, so also our boasting before Titus proved to be the truth and his affection abounds all the more toward you as he remembers...here it is...the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling."
This is a wonderful little section here, just very briefly I'll tell you what it's saying. Paul says, "If in anything I have boasted to him about you," and he had done that. Back in verse 4, "Great is my confidence in you, great is my boasting on your behalf." You know what he had told Titus when Titus went to Corinth? He had told them something like this. "These are saved people. These are people who down at the spiritual level love me, believe in me, and trust me and know I'm the servant of the Lord. These people when confronted with their sin are going to see it and they're going to respond to it. I believe that."
Why do you believe that, Paul? I know these people. I know...I know from the beginning their conversion. I know their story. I know how they were saved. I know what they've done since then. I've followed the path of their sanctification. I know these people. And I really believe they're going to respond, Titus.
And so he says in verse 14, "If in anything I have boasted to him about you, I wasn't put to shame." Somebody might have said...Well, what does he know, after all they didn't repent? So ha-ha, Paul, huh? So we can't trust your discernment, can we?" I mean, he stuck his neck out, he really did. But he was so confident of the work of God's grace in the lives of the Corinthians that he really believed they were genuine believers. He had seen the reality of a transformed life. He staked his reputation on it as a man of spiritual discernment. And so he told Titus they're going to respond right. And he was vindicated, "I wasn't put to shame." And that was very important to him, notice the next line, "But as we spoke all things to you in truth, so also our boasting before Titus proved to be the truth."
Truth was everything to Paul. I mean, his stock and trade. And he took a little bit of a risk. I mean, it was fine when you said this is the truth of God, this is divine revelation, I speak for the Lord, the Holy Spirit told me to say this. That's all fine. But when you step outside the realm of revelation and you're starting to make judgments and you're starting to say things for which you don't have divine revelation, that's a little risky. And he was very concerned that if he was wrong about that they would not trust his judgment and they would say, "Well, he didn't tell the truth about that, so maybe he doesn't always tell the truth." It was very important that he maintain their confidence as one who spoke the truth. And he literally says, "We spoke to you in truth all the time and even our boasting on your behalf to Titus proved to be the truth. So you can just continue to trust me because I speak the truth when I speak the Word of God and I speak the truth on the basis of my own spiritual discernment when I can recognize the hand of God at work."
His joy was seeing his conviction upheld because it meant his integrity was in tact. And he makes the point. I always speak truth, and I was speaking the truth then. And, you know, that has to be sort of a backhanded encouragement to them that even in the midst of all of this he still believed in them. He speaks of their predictably obedient response, and it was so much of a joy to Titus because he remembers the obedience of you all, how that you received him with fear and trembling. In other words, you received him as a messenger from a messenger from Christ who is a messenger from God. You received him as he should have been received, with a holy awe.
The false teachers trying to discredit Paul, trying to say he didn't speak the truth, and so a lot was at stake when he boasted to Titus about them. But Titus and they would know that he knew, his discernment was sound. And Titus rejoices and he says, "Titus has had an increase in his love for you." "His affections abounds all the more toward you." Titus loves you more now than ever because he's seen your obedience. You've just come right back in line. And their obedience had caused the fearful Titus to develop strong affection for that church.
What does he mean by obedience? Their willingness to submit to the words that Paul spoke because he spoke the Word of God. They went right back under submission. You know how you can tell a person is really repentant? Here's something of what they'll say, "I just want to be obedient, I just want to do whatever you want me to do, just show me what to do, tell me what to do, please give me guidance. What do I do now?" There's no reluctance, there's no caveats, there's no qualifications, there's just open obedience.
The highest joy of the pastor is to have such a congregation. And they received Titus with fear and trembling, which indicates the attitude behind obedience is one of reverence toward God and a healthy fear of judgment.
Well the sad pastor's heart is comforted because of all these matters...loyalty, repentance, purity, spirituality, unity and obedience. And when you see those things happen in a relationship and a person comes back and just says, "Look, I want to be what you want me to be. I want to submit myself to this relationship." That's brokenness. That's a contrite heart. That's the evidence of a real desire for restoration.
And then there's a last point, number seven...trust...trust. Verse 16, "I rejoice that in everything I have confidence in you." That, folks, is the capstone. That's it. No more concerns. Paul says, "I trust you." That's always the thing that stands as the last step that finally closes the door on the issue. Can that wife finally look that man in the eyes who has been unfaithful to her and violated that relationship and gone out into sin and say, "I've seen enough, I rejoice that in everything I have confidence in you." Trust. Can a parent say that to a wayward child? Can a pastor say that to someone who has done everything to destroy the reputation of a church? I now trust you again. Can you say that to a friend who has cut your heart our? I trust you, I place my life in your hands. And by the way, the basic meaning of that word "confidence" here is tharreo, the verb to be courageous...to be courageous. Literally, to be bold, to dare. I dare to trust you. Or to put it another way, "I will...I'm so courageously confident of your loyalty and your support that I'll go to battle next to you and believe you'll defend me. I'll go out into the battle and believe me you'll protect me. I'll trust you. I have the courage to put my life back in your hands." That's what it's saying. I have the courage to give you my life again and believe you'll care for it.
In some ways when you see what happened here with these Corinthians, you'd have to conclude the worst church has just become the best church. It's amazing. And it's a great and dramatic illustration of the power of restoration.
Yes, there were still a few people there who were in dissent. But the majority had completed turned around. What a picture of real restoration of a broken relationship. And that concludes the section, chapters 1 to 7 is the first section and gets your ready for the next section, chapters 8 and 9, followed by the last section, chapters 10 to 13. Let's bow in prayer.
Father, we have been instructed so profoundly and deeply from the inspired pen of Paul. We have a grasp on things perhaps like never before in terms of the restoration of broken relationships. We pray, Lord, that You'll apply these things in our lives, apply them in the lives of those experiencing these very things. Thank You for giving us measures, standards, principles that we can look to to see if repentance is real. Thank You for what You've shown us in this tremendous personal insight between Paul and the Corinthians. We pray, Lord, that You would restore all the broken relationships in this church, in these families, in these homes among these people, and may we enjoy the fullness of a rich relationship like Paul now had with his beloved Corinthians. Thank You for this instruction in Christ's name. Amen.
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