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They search the sources of the rivers and bring hidden things to light.
~Job 28:11 NIV~
I went to the dentist today. A few weeks ago, I had broken a tooth and although it didn't really hurt and it wasn't visible to anyone else, I knew that it would do damage if I didn't get it taken care of. Much like the sin that holds us back from true relationship with God, if there is no tangible painful consequence (at least one that is visible to others), we often seek to work around the issue until we have the time and energy to deal with the healing or repair needed.
As I traveled to the doctor's office this morning, whose name was oddly biblical, I thought about the areas of brokenness in my life that are keeping me from moving forward. No one else can see them. No one else really knows about them and they're really only hurting me or so I believe. So does this mean that they aren't really bad things? Well, no. It really doesn't. Actually, it means that they are probably worse than those things which are exposed for God to work on. Nothing is hidden from him, but the idea that if no one else knows I'm having this problem, then I'm not causing any trouble is a sure way to put some serious distance between you and God. But it's not like He's going to look the other way just because it's only affecting your walk. He doesn't want any of His children to fail. What hurts you, hurts Him. Not so much because you are sinning, but because you aren't allowing His love to cover whatever brokenness exists in you that draws you to that sin.
What is hidden is so much more damaging and insidious than that which is out in the open. That has been proven time and again. Of all of the family issues that we see, it is clear that those which someone seeks to cover up are those which do the most damage. Thinking in terms of my own experience, it was recently revealed to me that I had been molested as a child. I had always had strange memories of things that had happened to me and had just dismissed them as the product of an oddly focused imagination. The whole thing was confirmed, however; at the worst possible time. During a funeral for one of my dearest relatives, the perpetrator approached me and asked me to forgive him. Now, thirty-five years down the road, the news that someone has violated you comes as somewhat of a shock. So I did the only thing I could do, I patted him on the shoulder, told him all was forgiven and then quickly got away from him.
The whole thing threw me off base and I spent the time that I should have spent grieving for my relative, grieving instead for the innocence that I had lost so many years before I would have even realized I had anything to lose. And that brokenness, though no one could see it and it didn't cause any visible pain, did damage over the years that I didn't even realize it was doing. Having been raped when I was in my early twenties, I already understood the pain of covering something up so that no one else would know what had been done to me. The sudden realization that there was more damage that I needed to somehow hide was almost unbearable.
I think when we have that kind of brokenness in us and we've hidden it for so long, we tend to have a reflexive need to continue to have something to hide. And even if we've been delivered from that original brokenness, sometimes we have a hard time accepting that God really doesn't see it as a huge flaw in His creation. Some of it is shame, some of it is guilt, and a big part of it is pride. When we've been damaged, we scramble to pick up all the pieces and shove them back into place before anyone notices that something is missing. We hurt silently, we cry when no one is looking, and we yearn for someone to just make those feelings go away. Yet the One who can take away that pain, we push away. It's something I'm not sure I'll ever understand. The only logical explanation for it is that the devil is working so hard to keep us from the healing we need that when he sees weakness in us, he comes at us with everything he's got because he knows that once God starts doing His thing, we'll be good as new. He knows that if he bombards us with things that stir up feelings of guilt and shame that we'll never feel like we can go before the Throne of Grace and bow before our Father to ask Him to heal us. He knows exactly how long it takes us to get back on our feet when we've been knocked down. But the wonderful things is, he'll give up on us eventually. God NEVER will.
So when that thing you can't seem to fix just won't go away, there really is only one solution. You have to speak God's word, you have to seek God's grace, and you have to believe who He is and what He can and will do in your life if you let Him. You must be steadfast even when it feels pointless to keep trying. Especially when it feels like nothing is happening to turn things around. You must trust in Him. He will not fail you. He's here to fix what's broken.
It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.
~Deuteronomy 13:4 NIV~
So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet.
~James 4:7-10 MSG~
I was just listening to Lisa Bevere talk about how we need to change our perspective and start seeing ourselves as God sees us. If ever there was a message that I was having trouble absorbing, this would be it. For some reason, I understand it in my mind but I cannot seem to get it to translate to my heart. And in my confusion and refusal to accept that I am so much more than what I see myself as, I find that I make the same stupid mistakes over and over. While I'm watching myself do the wrong thing, the devil stands back and laughs and says, "See, no matter how much God blesses you, I can always make sure you don't have any real joy in your life because you don't really believe He wants you to be blessed."
Can that be true? Do I not truly believe that God wants to bless me? It would certainly appear so if you watch my behavior sometimes. Though I like to think I'm on the intelligent side, I'm always amazed at just how clueless I can be when it comes to the strongholds in my life. And there is no good reason for it other than what appears to be a serious lack of faith on my part.
Now don't get me wrong, I have faith that God will protect me physically and that He will provide for me and that He is doing something in my life at all times. I know that whatever weakness I am dealing with is not the product of His lack of love for me. I know that it is a blatant manipulation by the devil meant to knock me off course. And it is not lost on me that this manipulation occurs at the exact time that I'm attempting to receive a blessing from God in another area of my life. Every good thing that He does for me is countered by yet another obstacle that the devil has flung my way. And as Paul said in Romans 7:15 (MSG), "I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary."
That about sums it up. When I can't seem to get it right, it is absolutely necessary that I surrender the matter to my God and let Him help me overcome that which tries to pull me under. In the past, I struggled to make good choices in the area of relationships. I made choices based on feelings and on hopes that the other person would somehow become what I needed. And though I know that only God can be everything I need, I still tend to be drawn to those who will never be totally available to me. Even after so many years of learning and trying to do things the right way, I still make my biggest mistakes in this part of my life. I've had long talks with God about why this still trips me up. I haven't actually heard an answer yet, but I know that He must be trying to show me something that He thinks I need to learn in order to get to the next level on this journey. There is always a reason for these things even if we cannot see it at the time.
The point in all this is that God never stops loving me or being everything I could ever want or need in my life. He never stops being the unending source of strength, peace, and joy. It is my unwillingness to accept His love that cuts off the supply of these things in my life. That power, He has given us. We unfortunately have the ability to keep ourselves from receiving His blessings. He knows this, but He also knows that when we're finally ready to take an honest look at the person He sees in us we'll stop giving away our peace to those who don't love Him. And we'll stop letting others treat us like we have no value, because we'll realize that the problem actually lies in their inability to value themselves. Fix your eyes on the One who knows you best. He will never make you feel like nothing. He will never break your heart. You've got a sure thing in Christ. Love Him with your whole heart and He'll give you everything you'll ever need.
For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.
Does he not see my ways and count my every step? "If I have walked with falsehood or my foot has hurried after deceit—let God weigh me in honest scales and he will know that I am blameless—
~Job 31:4-6 NIV~
Sometimes it takes hitting bottom to completely convince us that what we've been doing is nowhere near what God would want us to do. He's given you a life with a purpose and it is the devil's mission to consistently throw you off course by challenging you with obstacles that are directly related to your biggest weaknesses. He's been very successful in doing this to me lately, but I have decided that I'm done playing around. Though I didn't realize that I had been playing around, some things have come to light that have made it difficult to deny that my actual actions weren't matching up with my perception of my actions. Putting your trust in people who consistently show you that you can't trust them is just plain crazy. Putting your hope in anything that professes to be something it isn't is simply insane. Pretending to be happy with a life that in no way challenges you to follow His plan for you is just a waste of time and energy. For a few years now, I've been calling mediocrity a life of simplicity. I've been calling the fear to stand up for myself humility. I've been settling for less than what He tells me I deserve as His child and I'm not going to do it anymore. I'm awake now. And it's simply not going to be enough anymore.
Years ago I had a list of about a hundred goals that I wanted to accomplish before I die. I had people to meet, things to do, places to go and a whole bunch of life to live ahead of me. But something happened and one day, I put the list away and never got it out again. Eventually, the list disappeared…just as my desire to do more with my life did. I'd like to say it was one thing that caused this, but it was the accumulation of many hurts that began to impress upon me the idea that I just wasn't worthy. Of course, I had glimmers of hope mixed in here and there. God tried to give me things to love and appreciate so that I would remember that He was there. But it took years before I figured out that He was the missing piece of the puzzle. He gave me friendships and relationships and even great jobs and a little talent for a few things. But I still lacked confidence and underneath it all, I just couldn't accept that He meant for me to have these things. Whether it was shame or guilt or just a lack of understanding that kept me from fully receiving His gifts, I do not know. The point is that it has been a constant struggle for me to accept what He has been trying to give me all along.
My daughter has been the most effective means He has employed thus far of getting me to understand who I am to Him. Before she was born, there was absolutely no way I could have understood what it means to love someone so unconditionally. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her no matter what happens. There will always be grace for my child; as there will also be grace for me in God's eyes. So, step by step, conflict after conflict, struggle upon struggle, I've been learning that He still loves me in spite of all my efforts to turn Him away. After nearly four years of being back in church and trying to develop and understand my relationship with God, I'm still amazed at how hard it is to not try and make Him let go of me. For some reason, I still try to convince Him that I'm not worthy. I still try to make Him see how much of a waste of time it is for Him to work with me. And He still picks me up and brushes the dirt off of me and says, "You can do this." I'm not sure I'll ever understand that.
So, after a bit of an emotional struggle over the last few months (which I can't detail now, but will likely blog about later), I was sitting at my favorite spot at a park I like to visit when I can. I was looking out over the water and thinking to myself, "Are you still there?" And for the first time in a long time, I wasn't asking that question of God. I was asking it of myself. I've been so convinced that there was nothing good enough in me for Him to work with that I began throwing away the parts of myself that I thought were offending Him. If there was something in my personality or behavior that I thought He wouldn't want others to see in me, I either got rid of it and replaced it with something milder or went ahead and did it, but made sure nobody knew that I was doing it. In the process, I forgot to be who I truly am. I was doing all the right things for all the wrong reasons and some of the wrong things for the right reasons. And to ensure that I didn't get too proud of myself for completely cutting me out of my life, I made sure to do a couple of things that I knew He didn't want me to do. I was so sure that I had proven myself unworthy and of no value that I had almost decided to lay down and just let the grass grow over me.
But as I sat there looking out at that beautiful sky and the water below, I remembered something. I'm not who I used to be. But I'm not who I am yet to be either. I am a work in progress. God's Masterpiece, being painted little by little each day. I am like that piece of clay that has to be molded and shaped and held in the fire until all of the imperfections disappear. And one day, I'll look up and instead of seeing all that I am not, I'll see all that I've been able to become in Him. But I have to let the fires of this world do their worst to me in order to become my best. So, even though my heart has been broken time after time by selfish people who only wanted to use me, and even though I've struggled with alcoholism and anxiety, and depression, and even though I've suffered so many losses of those I loved dearly and those whom I never had the chance to love, I know that this, too, shall pass. I just need to remember that the question is not whether or not He's still there for me but whether or not I'm trying to draw near to Him or push Him away.
…let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
~Hebrews 20:22 NIV~
I will teach you about God's power. I will not conceal anything concerning the Almighty.
~Job 27:11 NIV~
It is so frustrating to scroll through the Facebook feed and read comments and arguments against Christians. Knowing that this is not what Jesus intended when he walked on this earth all those years ago, seeing what people have done to pervert His message and then seeing how others have so misconstrued His teachings is heartbreaking. Sadly, many of the people who are doing the most damage are sure that what they are doing is fulfilling the Great Commission to go forth and make disciples. Too bad they aren't equating the lack of followers they are gathering to a serious deficiency in their understanding of God's word. Or maybe they are gaining followers, but they aren't seeing how God's word has positively impacted the people in their lives. I guess it depends on what our aim is as followers. If we truly want Him to live through us, then we can't possibly be happy with ourselves when we see how far out of step some perceptions of Christians appear to be. We need to speak up and get the right message circulating.
This doesn't mean that any time we attempt to disciple someone we are automatically going to see a huge improvement in their situation. But we should be able to see that their eyes are opened to something that they weren't seeing before we brought the word to them. If not, then they are most likely just going through the motions in an effort to make someone else happy. As disciplers, we need to be able to discern the subtle difference between those who have taken a step toward God and those who are merely falling into step with what they are hearing and trying to reach the Promised Land without putting forth genuine effort. I don't say this to be critical of the new or renewed believer; I say this to reinforce the importance of walking a genuine walk so that when others fall into step with us, they are walking in the right direction. We can't help anyone if we're a mess.
Many new believers may not understand that it doesn't happen like that and if we allow them to continue blindly and we don't adjust our ministry to fit their needs, they will eventually place the blame for their failure to feel "redeemed" on God. This is why when new believers stop feeling that warm, fuzzy feeling that you get right after you have been saved, they may fall out of step with Christ or backslide, whichever term you want to use. Ideally, when we really get that God wants to save us, we understand that we need to change. We understand that our way is not the right way and that we will only begin to feel the peace His love affords when we are totally committed to following the plan He has for us. We understand that this WILL involve surrendering our will to His and that this won't always be pleasant. Sometimes I think every Christian should have to wear a sticker that says, "Don't follow me, I'm still lost." At the very least, we should have to wear something that says, "Don't follow me, follow Him."
This message probably sounds very negative to those of you who feel that your personal walk with Christ is pretty solid. If you're offended by what I've said, well I apologize. However; I caution anyone who is walking with Christ to be aware of how your walk is impacting others. If the people around you are telling you that your Christianity is hateful, you might want to examine the reasons why they are saying this? It could be their own reluctance to accept Christ, but then, it could be that you are not really walking in love. Sometimes we convince ourselves that just because we call ourselves Christians and we go to church every week and we tithe and we do all the things that "good" Christians do, we are automatically setting a good example. It can't possibly be our fault that anyone has stumbled because we are doing this thing perfectly. Um….if you're thinking that, you should have a huge red light flashing above your head right now along with some pretty annoying sirens going off. But if you are wondering how people are viewing your walk, then you're probably on the right track. That's called humility, and it is good.
I'll be the first to tell you that I'm a huge mess. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. My walk has been a series of hills and valleys and most of the time; I walk down the wrong fork in the road. Thankfully, God leaves plenty of breadcrumbs so that I can find my way back onto the right path. The goal is to have a right heart and to attack evil as Jesus would have; with love. If what we are doing to fight the battle causes people to hate Jesus or God, then we are not doing it right. My God is not hateful. There are things He hates, but He would never make the sinner feel as though they aren't fit to be in the same atmosphere that He rules. And yes, He can put us through some difficult things in order to test us and refine us, but that doesn't mean that His followers have the right or authority to test one another in that way. Only God has that authority, anyone else who tries to bring that sort of judgment or sentence against his or her fellow man or woman is still working for the wrong team.
For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God's power.
~1 Corinthians 4:20 NIV~
That is what the Scriptures mean when God told him, "I have made you the father of many nations." This happened because Abraham believed in the God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing.
~Romans 4:17 NLT~
I used to watch the popular television series, Star Trek: The Next Generation and in each episode, Captain Picard would say to his second in command, "Make it so, Number 2." Before you begin to think that Picard was somehow insulting his beloved Commander Riker, please understand that Number 2 was a term of endearment. The point of sharing this tidbit with you is not necessarily to shed light on the importance of putting ourselves second, but to lead into a discussion about how God prepares us for something and then ever so confidently places the reigns in our hands and tells us; sometimes clearly, sometimes not so clearly, to "Make it so."
God's gentle guidance sometimes seems overwhelming no matter how long He babies us. The idea that He will trust us to take bold steps seems far fetched when we consider how often we've been instructed to simply listen and obey. For some reason, we tend to think that means that none of the gifts He has given us are meant to be put into action unless we see it laid out in Step 1, Step 2, Step 3…fashion. When those steps aren't laid out for us, we stall. We rest on verses like Psalm 27:14 that says, "Wait patiently for the Lord," but sometimes the greatest tests He gives us have more to do with our ability to trust what we know about God and keep moving forward until He says to do something else. He doesn't always mean for us to sit by idly while we wait for Him to move. Sometimes we have to actually do something.
I've been hanging back for a while, trying to figure out what it is He really wants me to focus on. In all of my seeking and straining to hear Him, I've managed to remain frozen in place while my faith has been slowly melting into a puddle at my feet. Not my faith in Him, but my faith in my ability to hear Him…or in His desire to speak to me. It's amazing how we effectively can put the brakes on our ability to carry out His plan simply by spending too much time wondering when He's going to tell us what to do next. Sometimes, you just need to keep swimming. Eventually, He'll shift the current to ensure that you reach the destination He wants you to reach.
When you realize that you've just been standing around like an idiot, sometimes you begin to doubt whether or not God should even allow you to make any progress. As I said before, it isn't as much a matter of our faith in Him but a matter of our faith in ourselves. Like Gideon, we may doubt that we are strong enough or capable enough to be trusted with the task He's placed in front of us. But God is patient with us whether we've moved in the wrong direction or failed to move at all. He waits for us to "get it" and when He sees that we have finally caught on, He gives us a push and out of the nest we fall. Thankfully, if we can't figure out how to use our wings He will also catch us or somehow cushion our landing. But His hope for us is that we remember who we are and that we spread our wings and allow ourselves to take flight. And when we do, His glory shines through every time. So go ahead and use what the Good Lord gave you. When your actions are rooted in obedience and reverence for the Almighty, even if you heard Him wrong you'll be okay.
Where You go, I'll go
Where You stay, I'll stay
When You move, I'll move
I will follow You.
Chris Tomlin~I Will Follow
I often think about the words to this song and wonder if I could be that devoted to my God. I claim that I am and I certainly want to be; but the idea of moving if He says to move is sometimes the most terrifying thing I could think to do. Day after day, I ask Him to use me as He created me for a purpose, but what would I do if serving Him meant to pick up and leave everything I know?
There haven't been many times in my life when I couldn't see possibilities on the horizon. I've always had hope that there was one more thing I needed to do and that there would be many steps to take before I could complete that task. Lately, however; I've been feeling like He is not going to let me take another step until I figure out whatever it is that I've not yet been able to figure out. And to save my life, I cannot figure out what that might be. Although I trust that He has something for me, I am now at a point where I don't see that I have the ability to hear Him as I have heard Him in the past. Obviously, I'm missing something or He would allow me to move forward.
I was racking my brain about it this morning and I couldn't seem to come up with anything that made sense. Then for some reason, He brought me to the story of Jonah:
9 But God said to Jonah, "Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?"
"It is," he said. "And I'm so angry I wish I were dead."
10 But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?"(Jonah 4:9-10 NIV)
And there it is. This makes sense. I've been the one who went in the opposite direction when God called me. I've been in the belly of the whale. It isn't fun. I've also been the one sitting under the tree that withered and left me struggling in the heat of the day, while God tried to explain to me that I was more concerned about what served me than what served Him. As in Jonah 4, He was trying to show me that the issues in my life, while they seem huge and insurmountable to me, are no big deal in His grand scheme. He can wipe all of that out in a moment. What He's more concerned about is my ability to move through all of this and meet Him on the other side, ready to serve His greater purpose in spite of all the little struggles I've had to face.
I may not be able to see the purpose of the "heat" and I may not see the point of going through my struggles when all I want to do is be happy so that I can serve God without feeling the pressures of this world. But that isn't how it works. The pressures of this world are part of the serving. All of our troubles don't disappear when we fall into step with God's plan. The point is that we lay our trust on Him and we see that when our hearts and minds are set on serving out His great purpose, it won't matter that we can't get every little piece of the puzzle to fall into place when we want it to or how we want it to. It is so hard to go with the flow and allow Him to fix those things that we cannot seem to fix, but part of following Him means understanding His power and knowing that His purpose for us sometimes includes a struggle or three.
As it says in Luke 16:10, he who can be trusted with a little will be trusted with much. If God sees me doubting His ability to bring me through this, He sees that my faith isn't yet where it needs to be to bring me into my promised land. He sees that I'm not ready yet. But if I press on and I remember that He lives in me and that I can do all things through Him, He sees that I am ready to reach that next level and He will promote me at the appointed time.
Satan knows where we have the most difficulty in our faith. He watches for opportunities to discredit our God and He uses the least little temptation to doubt God as his opening. If he sees that we're struggling to trust Him with our problems, he'll step in and pour gasoline on that fire. Hence, the heat. And it's no accident that heat inspires thirst. And the only One who can bring relief from that heat is He who brings the living water for which we thirst! So slow down, take a breath, rest from your toil and lift your eyes and your hands to Him. He will bring you what you need at the exact moment you need it. He is our Refresher, our Redeemer, the One who restores. If you're thirsty, let Him bring you a drink of that wonderful, living water that only He can bring. And then jump right back in the race. He's made a place for each of us at the finish line.
They will neither hunger nor thirst, nor will the desert heat or the sun beat down on them. He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water.
~Isaiah 49:10 NIV~
Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.
~Proverbs 25:28 NKJV~
I used to carry myself like a tough girl…always cussing people out and daring anyone to call me out of my name. I was angry about everything and I wanted to make sure that everyone knew it. Keep your distance; don't even think about trying to hurt me. This was the attitude I had and it was born mainly out of a fear of abandonment. I was scared to death that someone was going to pretend to love me and then end up leaving me. The funny thing is that throughout that time, I couldn't seem to get people to leave me alone. There were always people who wanted to be close to me and who wanted to show me that I was worth being cared for. I just wouldn't believe them and I really wanted them to just back off because the fear of being hurt was more compelling at the point in my life than my need to make a connection.
Over the years, things happen. You build walls, you tear them down, you put them back up and others knock them down. You reinforce them and still others come to take them apart; brick by brick. Sometimes it's the same people who come back over and over, testing you and looking for the weak spots in your fortress. And there really is nothing you can do to prevent it. But there is something you can do to overcome it. You can pray. You can come to understand once and for all that the only foundations that stay strong are those built in Christ. Without faith and trust in His power, anything we try to build will crumble. Sometimes we'll see it as clearly as if someone had taken a wrecking ball to us; sometimes it's like they're digging through those walls with a teaspoon. No matter how obvious the damage, you can be sure that it is actually happening. Even when we are walking with Christ, the enemy never stops trying to destroy what He's built in us. The difference lies in how we respond.
So now, some twenty years later, I look back on my reactions to the attacks I've suffered. When I reacted from a place of anger, I got back more anger. When I reacted from a place of hate, I only bred more hate. When I reacted in fear, which wasn't as often as it probably should have been given the situations I found myself in; the end result was something more to fear. It was only when I began to respond with grace, mercy and a peaceful heart that I began to reap a sweeter harvest in my life. Yes, I still have problems. I still run into opposition and difficult times. I'm still challenged at every turn on most days. The difference is that now I turn to Jesus and ask Him to guide my steps. I ask Him what I need to do to bring about the fruit that He has promised. These things that happen aren't an opportunity for me to lash out and prove that I can be just as hateful as the next person. This is not the time for me to sucker-punch someone with my sharp wit. This is the time for me to prove that God's way works every time. It's time for me to show that I have no fear because my heart belongs to the one who wins every battle.
I look at my daughter and I can see that she doesn't have a hateful bone in her body. Her presence makes the world a better place. I can't say that my presence always has. In fact, I know at least a handful of people who might say they wish they'd never known me. I can't go back and fix the damage that I've done to those relationships, but I can put forth the effort and the energy needed to make all of my future interactions something that will make a positive difference in a world that is so quick to offer up the very worst that it has on any given day.
This means that I don't present myself as someone you don't want to mess with. It means I don't think it's cool to tell everyone all of the awful things I've convinced myself that I'm proud of doing to myself and others. It means that I don't look for any and every way possible to sabotage myself and others. It means that I don't take pride in running away from the plan God has for my life. It means I surrender. I give my life to the One who made me. I ask Him which way is up and I avoid looking down. I move forward with the knowledge that I am covered by His grace and mercy and that no one can take that away from me. No one has to take it from me because He offers it to all without prejudice; without requirement, without limits. I don't have to defend the grace He extends to me by building walls to keep you from seeing what I've got. On the contrary, I want you to know what He's given me because I want the same for you.
And the Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.
~Revelation 22:17 NKJV~
"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives…"
~Isaiah 61:1 NKJV~
There is probably no other reason that I have called upon my God more than to help heal my broken heart. I can't count the number of times that I've put myself out there only to be deceived, manipulated and ultimately hurt by those who profess their great love for me. As I was reflecting on this today, I realized why it hurts us so much when someone we love decides that we are no longer what they want. As God's creation, we are made in His image. His spirit lives in each of us and when we hurt, he hurts. For those who operate exclusively in the flesh, the hurt comes out as an attack on those who don't deserve to be injured by our injury. So, as we are trying to understand our walk with God, we're either hurting to the point that we hurt others or we have been hurt so by others that we can't help but set ourselves up to repeat the mistake time after time.
But is it wrong to hurt? No, not at all. God wants us to love one another and sometimes that love requires great pain and sacrifice that we may never understand. Love always requires some sacrifice, but there are times when it takes everything we've got just to move ahead of the things that attempt to drag us back to our Babylons. The more progress you make, the more likely you are to encounter hurt. But the triumph you will experience if you just press on will be amazing. We're assured of that victory in God's word.
It's not that we should just cut ourselves off from all relationship for fear of being hurt again. That's not what we're called to either. In my own experience, just when I think I've got things figured out something comes back into my field of vision and tries to convince me that I wasn't finished with whatever I'd already walked away from. Something tries to pull me backward into a mess I'd spent so much time trying to clean up. And there is no good choice available. I can either choose to go back and try it again to see if anything has changed, thus risking all of the healing I've done since I walked away. Or I can choose to make my demands plain up front and experience a whole new kind of rejection and heartache, thus proving that what I left behind should have stayed there in the first place.
We can heal from anything with God's love in our hearts. If we choose to keep letting people break us, He will continue to put us back together. But we have to wake up and see whose purpose this brokenness really serves. The devil knows that if he can get someone to break your heart, you will be in recovery for a time and you won't be able to fight the good fight until you've done some healing. Every little setback that he can throw in your path is worth his effort. But as usual, he's only delaying the inevitable stomping that he's going to get when we recover. God wants us to heal. He wants us to be able to love others even when they are unlovable. He also wants us to guard our hearts with the knowledge that it is His love that will always be there for us. It is His love that will never choose the things of this world over us. Even when we fail Him and we choose the things of the world over Him. He forgives…and He loves. And so, when someone you love chooses the things of the world over the love you offer them, let them go. Forgive them, continue to love them and give them to God.
In the same way we fail to love God as we should, people will always fall short in the way they can love us. There is nothing we can do to keep others from hurting us. Sometimes they just have no choice. They haven't figured out that the love they will experience in the spirit when they finally embrace God is so much better than what any other person will be able to give them here. When we love from the flesh, it will always fail to meet our expectations. Only the love that comes from the spirit of God that lives in us can truly satisfy. When we get that, there is no devil in hell that will succeed in breaking our heart. With that, I'll just say, "Well played, devil. Nice try. But my God is an awesome God and He's already fixed what you've broken. Move along. There's nothing to see here."
Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction.
~Mark 5:29 NKJV~

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Quick Reference
An object-oriented programming language based on C++, with features similar to those of Java. An extended version, Comega (Cω), is being developed.
http://standards.iso.org/ittf/PubliclyAvailableStandards/c042926_ISO_IEC_23270_2006(E).zip The ISO C♯ specification
From: C♯ in A Dictionary of Computing »
Subjects: Computing.
Related content in Oxford Index
Reference entries
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One of the most successful director-hero combinations in Tamil films is coming together again.
Hari and Suriya, the director-hero combo in question, are joining hands for the sixth time to make an untitled film. The duo's earlier films include Aaru, Vel, Singam, Singam 2 and Si3 (third part of the Singam series).
It is reported that the new film, which hasn't been titled yet, won't be a cop sotry again and won't be titled as Singam 4 for sure!
Hari revealed a few weeks back that he would be making another film on the Singam series but only after a few years. His next directorial venture would be Saamy 2 which stars Vikram and Trisha in the lead.
Suriya is presently starring in Vignesh Sivan's Thaana Serndha Koottam and after Suriya and Hari have completed their present assignments, they would start work on their new film in the second-half of this year.


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Author: Jojo Moyes
Series: Me Before You #1
Edition: Paperback
Publication: December 31st 2012 by Pamela Dorman Books/Viking
Source: Bought from National Bookstore MOA
Pages: 369
Genre: Adult, Romance, Contemporary
Lou Clark knows lots of things. She knows how many footsteps there are between the bus stop and home. She knows she likes working in The Buttered Bun tea shop and she knows she might not love her boyfriend Patrick.
What Lou doesn't know is she's about to lose her job or that knowing what's coming is what keeps her sane.
Will Traynor knows his motorcycle accident took away his desire to live. He knows everything feels very small and rather joyless now and he knows exactly how he's going to put a stop to that.
What Will doesn't know is that Lou is about to burst into his world in a riot of colour. And neither of them knows they're going to change the other for all time.
Lovely people from social media only said one thing about this book that I know nothing about: THIS IS A TEARJERKER STORY. I am all ready for tears to leave my eyes any time and all yes to books that require tissues but to be honest, this one didn't make me bawl as much as I expected I would. Though there were scenes on the book that made my throat constrict, my jaw twitch, my eyes slightly damp and my heart ache so freaking much, but no hard core bawling happened. Sorry, guys. I am absolutely sorry. Maybe because I expected too much and I kept waiting and waiting for the things that people said would make me cry but up until the last forty pages, there were still no tsunami tears.
I loved Me Before You in three different aspects:
a) Unique plot
b) Louissa's character development
c) Will's determination
a) You probably know why, right? I don't normally encounter Quadriplegia in books so having Me Before You as my first is quite invigorating. It made me more sensitive when it comes to quadriplegic needs. Like. now? when I walk, I check if there are ramps available or where would they cross if there aren't and all that. I've also become much aware of what a quadriplegic goes through. I mean, I may not understand hundred percent, but this book exposed me to a much larger scale of sensitivity when it comes to disability.
b) I felt like I grew up with Lou. I felt like I was there beside her the entire time that I legit felt how she's feeling. I saw bits and pieces of myself in her and I just adored how kind she is even if people are mean to her. She wasn't afraid to say what she feels. Her development was slow just as what the story needed! There were times she has to be told what to do which irked me but she did well at the end. I love how simple she in as a person but bold with fashion.
c) Okay. Will was a little unlikable. I tried to and I did a little at the end. Even though he was rude all the time, I was able to fully understand his attitude. I saw how much he is hurting (physically, emotionally, mentally) and all of his decisions are fair in my opinion. It was his body, life and take after all. That no matter how hard people convince him to fight, his situation is just so unbearable. I wish I had known him before the accident and seen how big his life was before the wheelchair. I was so sorry for him and for people who've met such terrible accident. I mean, I wouldn't know what I'd do if I were him. I just cannot. His determination though was incredible and that determination is full of love, understanding and compassion. *okay my eyes are watering* There was just this miserable feeling in my heart that made me totally understand what he had done. I do not condone it, but I understand. And what he did for Lou? *am drying my eyes okay*
Me Before You is truly a heart-wrenching novel. Combined with wit, the pain that bled through each page is worth so much more than I could handle. An inspiring read that would surely gut your feels.
"Some mistakes... Just have greater consequences than others. But you don't have to let the result of one mistake be the thing that defines you. You, Clark, have the choice not to let that happen."
"I will never, ever regret the things I've done. Because most days, all you have are places in your memory that you can go to."
"Live boldly. Push yourself. Don't settle. Just live well. Just live."
"Sometimes , Clark, you are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning."
"You're going to feel uncomfortable in your new world for a bit. It always does feel strange to be knocked out of your comfort zone."


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In less than 100 seconds, Carola-Bibiane Schönlieb of the University of Cambridge in the UK provides a basic definition of a Fourier transform. She explains how this mathematical tool was introduced in the early 19th century by Joseph Fourier while he was searching for solutions to the heat equation. It is a way of taking a signal or a function and deconstructing it into a series of sines and cosines.
Today, Fourier transforms are prevalent in many areas of science and engineering. They are used in processing many of the signals we encounter in our everyday lives, such as phone and TV signals, and even in the evolution of the Stock Market. Schönlieb gives an example of how Fourier transforms are used in her own area of mathematics, a field called inverse problems. She explains how images generated using magnetic resonance tomography are derived from a partial knowledge of a Fourier transform.
Watch more from our 100 Second Science video series.


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The Roscommon GAA County Board have appointed Des Newton as the new Senior Football Manager on a two year deal.
Newton, who won one All-Ireland U21 Football title and two Connacht Senior Football Championship titles with Roscommon and an Ulster Senior Football Championship with Donegal has been involved with County Development Squads and Club sides over the past few years, most notably with Kilmacud Crokes.
Details of his back-room team are yet to be finalised.
The Board also confirmed the appointment of Nigel Dineen to the position of U21 Football Team Manager. The former U21 selector will be joined by selectors Eddie Lohan, Basil Mannion and Denis Gavin.
Both Managers have been appointed for two year terms.


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|Message view
|« Date » · « Thread »
|« Date » · « Thread »
|"Alex Karasulu" <aok...@bellsouth.net>
|RE: Commons server infrastructure proposal
|Mon, 12 Apr 2004 14:18:50 GMT
> -----Original Message----- > From: Jeffrey D. Brekke [mailto:email@example.com] > Sent: Monday, April 12, 2004 8:45 AM > To: Jakarta Commons Developers List > Cc: email@example.com > Subject: Re: Commons server infrastructure proposal > > > Sounds like there may be some overlap with Commons Net. I know there > is a point at which we'd like to move towards implementation with nio > in [net]. More information may help. > > >>>>> On Mon, 12 Apr 2004 13:14:59 +0200, Mladen Turk <email@example.com> > said: > > > Hi all, I have a project to propose that the 'commons philosophy' > > can benefit thought. I'm aware of incubation process, but since I'm > > an active ASF member for years now, I would like to hear your > > opinions before. > > What I would like to know is are there any need and will to support > > such a project. Yes absolutely. I too started to look for such a project but could not really find one. I found a few components that could be used over at Avalon but they seemed a bit to abstract so I had to implement my own. BTW I'm currently involved with the directory project in the incubator where the flagship server is an LDAP server named Eve. This is what I wanted such a framework for. Plus using selectable IO is critical since LDAP is a stateless protocol and the use of a thread per connection was out of the question. I think we could leverage some of the code in Eve however I would rather start from scratch again and retro fit this framework back into Eve later. The primary reason being: starting from scratch as a group is easier. There are however good examples that still can be used but that can be done in an as needed bases if appropriate. > > Briefly the project I meant to do can be seen as a generic server > > side component. It will based on NIO, and it will have plain > > socket, SSL, and a generic channel support(Pipes and ByteBuffers), > > so that communication doesn't necessary has to came from the wire, > > but rather from any data source. Then we just want it to depend on SelectableChannels to enable IO from any medium as you suggest: socket, pipe, or buffer. > > What's the purpose of it? Making a generic infrastructure for a > > wide variety of server-like applications like http/ftp/mail servers, > > reverse proxies, load balancers, clusters, game servers, etc. > > > Why? During past few years I found myself writing over and over > > again some things that if properly designed could spare me lots of > > time. Me too. Plus you never know when you have gone off the track. It takes some peer review to keep things clean and reusable. > > Realy why? Something like that doesn't exists (at least I'm not > > aware of such a thing having BSD-like licence), and although I have > > a large codebase finished, I'm not the smartest guy around :) I'm not a smart guy either. That's why I know that my implementation must be hoky to say the least in some places. I'd rather brainstorm in a group to gain from the experiences of the collective. BTW I already have a ton of questions on the matter so I can't wait to get started. Count me in if and when it happens. Alex --------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe, e-mail: email@example.com For additional commands, e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.com
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As an Asheville bankruptcy attorney, I spend a large portion of initial consultations discussing the negative consequences of filing a case. One fear which is often overblown, in my view, is the effect of a filing on your credit score. Many folks incorrectly think they will not ever have access to credit again or will not have access to credit for 10 years.
Failing to Make Payments Ruins Your Credit Score
If you are having trouble paying your bills on time, your credit score is almost certainly damaged. Think about it from a creditor's perspective. If you are not making timely payments on your current bills, why would a lender extend more credit on a new loan to be added to the other unpaid bills? 30 and 60 day late payments are reported to the credit bureaus, and frequently drop credit scores low enough to where a potential client cannot access credit on reasonable terms. In effect, when folks fall behind on their bills, lenders shut down access to more credit.
Bankruptcy Can Change This Cycle
Although a Chapter 7 bankruptcy case is a negative on your credit report, it also stops the negative reporting of 30 and 60 day late payments. By ending the cycle of negative reporting, you have the opportunity to rebuild your credit score by making timely payments moving forward. I frequently hear from clients who have higher credit scores within one year of filing a case. Oddly enough, bankruptcy is often a positive first step toward restoring good credit.
Credit Card, Car Loans, and Mortgages
Practically speaking, credit will be available at high interest rates as soon as your case is discharged. Many former clients report that credit card offers fill their mailbox after their Chapter 7 case is finished in 3 months. Car loans, if you are employed, are often available immediately from buy here/pay here dealers. The key to using this type of credit after a bankruptcy filing is not to sign up for deals which you cannot afford. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac guidelines currently prohibit applying for a standard mortgage from a bank for at least 2 years after filing a bankruptcy case. However, after the mortgage crisis, folks needing my services generally are unable to qualify for a mortgage before filing their case anyway.
Paying Bills Moving Forward
The key to a successful bankruptcy case, in my view, is planning for how bills are going to be paid moving forward. Achieving a discharge is very likely if you qualify and are honest, but it makes no sense to file a case and then fall right back into the same debt trap. Imagine your credit cards, medical debts, personal loans, and any secured loans for property you intend to surrender going away. Could you pay your other monthly bills moving forward? If so, you may be good a candidate to file a case, and I would be pleased to speak with you during a free, initial bankruptcy consultation either in my Asheville office or over the telephone.
*The information contained on this website is not intended and does not constitute the providing of any legal advice or any legal opinions or services to any user thereof. The information available on or through this web page is not intended and shall not be used as a substitute for the advice and consultation provided by an attorney. Any factual examples used to illustrate concepts are hypothetical and do not depict actual events or real persons.


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Enhance virtually every superyacht journey...
YachtEye is the unique visual infotainment platform for guests and Owners on board the most exclusive superyachts. The system intuitively shares valuable insights about the journey, the stay on board and the environment. You can interact with YachtEye via TV, touchscreens and iPads to know more about the route highlights, itinerary, weather conditions, tender positions, menu of the day and much more...
YachtEye Features
3D Position
Welcome on board
Makkah Pointer
Choose your packages
Available as
TV Channel
Clients about YachtEye
"On the main deck is an itinerary-viewing room at the entrance of the saloon., where low seating faces a row of screens. The ultimate infotainment system for an explorer yacht, YachtEye, from Oculus Technologies, pulls information directly from the bridge and combines it with Google Earth like images to provide visually appealing 3D information as to heading, location, speed and more."
- M/Y Cloudbreak
"YachtEye is an excellent interface that allows guests to follow the vessels course throughout their voyage at the mere touch of a button. The system updates in real time, so guests will no longer have to wait for or browse through google maps in order to find their current location."
- M/Y Radiant - AV/IT officers Ric Wright and Richard Sandilands
"We have found the Oculus YachtEye to be a fabulous real-time tool to keep guests up to date with itinerary, menus, places of interest and vessel movements. It is a great, interactive tool for either charter or private yachts."
- Captain Ian Westman, M/Y Sofia


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Keep it trashy, Belle Glade.
Try to pick up trash in this Palm Beach County city and you might be threatened by the long arm of the law. According to a story reported by News Channel 5, the efforts of a concerned citizen to clean up trash-infested neighborhoods in Belle Glade were shunned Wednesday by the mayor and city attorney.
The man, Hydn Rousseau, was told he could be charged with criminal trespassing if he continued his organized neighborhood cleanup group made up of 50 volunteers. Their goal: to fight crime by working to beautify local neighborhoods in need of a little TLC.
Rather than be lauded for his efforts to clear away unsightly debris -- stuff we'd never think to touch, like needles and buckets of stagnant garbage -- Rousseau was asked to leave the littered private properties alone.
So much for trying to do a good deed.
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1680 sq. ft.
2 baths
3 beds
$102,000 Price
Marketing Remarks
Gorgeous 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 1 car attached garage & workshop!! Beautiful manufactured home built in 2016 with tons of upgrades. Stunning master suite with huge shower and garden tub. Enjoy the covered deck rain or shine. All kitchen appliances convey with property. This is a must see!!
additional details
- Inside Features Ceiling Fan,Full Wind Cvr,Gas Water Heater,Walk-in Closet
- Outside Features Deck,Porch,Storage Shed
- Exterior Vinyl
- Foundation Crawl Space
- Heating System Forced Air Heat,Gas Heat
- Cooling Central Cooling
- Garage 1 Car Garage,Attached Garage,Garage Opener
- Total Baths 2
- Utilities Natural Gas,Sanitary Sewer,Supplied Water
- Lot Dimensions ...
Room Dimensions
- Living: 14 x 12 (First Floor)
- Family: 19 x 13 (First Floor)
- Dining: 13 x 12 (First Floor)
- Kitchen: 12 x 11 (First Floor)
- Utility: 8 x 6 (First Floor)
- Bedroom1: 15 x 13 (First Floor)
- Bedroom2: 10 x 9 (First Floor)
- Bedroom3: 10 x 9 (First Floor)
Virtual Tour
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similar Properties
12195 Wellington Avenue
Gorgeous 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 1 car attached garage ...
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My team and I are here to assist you. We value your time. Contact us for prompt service.
Mortgage Calculator
This is your principal + interest payment, or in other words, what you send to the bank each month. But remember, you will also have to budget for homeowners insurance, real estate taxes, and if you are unable to afford a 20% down payment, Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI). These additional costs could increase your monthly outlay by as much 50%, sometimes more.
Data relating to real estate for sale on this web site comes in part from the IDX Program of the WRIST MLXchange Area Board. IDX information is provided exclusively for consumers' personal, non-commercial use and may not be used for any purpose other than to identify prospective properties consumers may be interested in purchasing.
Information is deemed reliable but is not guaranteed.
© 2018 real estate II | admin


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Friday, May 17, 2013
GOODNEWS - Blackberry Extends BBM Messaging Service To Apple And Android
service BlackBerry Messenger (BBM) for the first
time this summer, the company has announced.
More than 51 million BlackBerry users
communicate daily via BBM, one of the earliest
mobile chat tools to give users a free and private
means of staying in touch over the internet.
Andrew Bocking, an Executive Vice President at
BlackBerry said in a blog post: "For BlackBerry,
messaging and collaboration are inseparable
from the mobile experience, and the time is
definitely right for BBM to become a multi-
platform mobile service.
"BBM has always been one of the most engaging
services for BlackBerry customers, enabling them
to easily connect while maintaining a valued level
of personal privacy. We're excited to offer iOS
and Android users the possibility to join the BBM
BBM will compete with other free messaging
services already available to smartphone users
running the iOS and Android operating systems,
including WhatsApp and Viber.
The necessity of a personal PIN to use BBM,
supplied with BlackBerry's phones and shared
only with contacts with whom users wish to
communicate, is one of BlackBerry smartphones'
most attractive aspects.
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Baghpat, a small town in Uttar Pradesh, India, has a history that goes back to the Mahabharat. When Duryodhan banished the five Pandavas from his kingdom, they founded five villages along the banks of the Yamuna, one of these was Vygraprasth aka modern Baghpat.
Presently, the city is best known for its temples, Hindu and Jain alike. Here are five temples in Baghpat, you cannot miss visiting.
Valmiki Ashram
Valmiki Ashram is the site where Valmiki lived and where Luv and Kush, the sons of Lord Ram, grew up, making it one of the most sacred sites in the Hindu religion.
Pura Mahadev Temple
Pura Mahadev Temple is an ancient temple dedicated to Lord Shiva andis best known for the fairs held in the Hindu months of Shravan and Phalgun. Devotees carry holy water all the way from Haridwar to this temple.
Trilok Teerth Temple
Trilok Teerth Temple is a newly constructed Jain temple that stands 317 feet high and is built in the shape of the universal Jain symbol, depicting the three realms of Jain mythology –Madhyalok, Adholok and Urdhavlok.
Naag Baba ka Mandir
Dedicated to the Nagas (the snake deities of Hindu mythology) Naag Baba ka Mandir is a centre of snake worship in northern India.
A city of great religious importance, Baghpat truly is a sacred place.


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The global natural sweeteners market is expected to witness substantial growth over the forecast period on account of growing demand for different kind of substitutes such as low-intensity sweeteners.
Salicylic acid is the organic acid extracted from willow black leaves and winter green plants. It is mainly used as antiseptic, pain reliever and food preservative among other applications.
Global sorbitol market size is expected to reach 2.34 million tons by 2020, growing at a CAGR of 3.6% from 2012 to 2020.
Squalene is a naturally available organic compound that is found in various sources such as shark liver oil, olive oil, amaranth seed, rice bran, wheat germ as well as in some birds. The market for squalene oil is expected to grow at a rapid pace due to its utility in a wide range of products
Natural food colors are popular food additives and derived from minerals, vegetables or animals. They are usually extracted from seeds, leaves, fruits, algae, insects, etc. Natural food colors make food products visually attractive and may also enhance their taste. They are often used to restore colors that are lost on account of moisture factors and temperature changes during processing.
Projected to grow at a CAGR of around 9%, organic personal care market is to witness a significant growth over the forecast period owing to growing awareness by consumers to use environmentally friendly products that do not contain parabens, petrochemicals, phthalates and aluminum salts


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Contact Information
Tolbert Beadle
612 E Capitol Ave.
Jefferson City, MO 65101
Phone: (573) 635-0811
Toll-Free Phone: 1-800-887-4030
Hours: Mon – Fri, 9:00am – 5:00pm.
At Tolbert Beadle, a personal injury lawyer will work diligently with you to protect you and your loved one's rights and get you the compensation you deserve. Millions of people just like you are injured each year due to negligence from work, businesses, and other individuals. In fact, according to the The National Center for Health Statistics, 31 million people in the United States receive injuries that require medical attention. And, according to the Missouri Division of Workers' Compensation, in Jefferson City, MO alone, 2,643 individuals applied for Workers' Compensation due to a work-related injury in 2016.
If you have been injured due to another person's or business' negligence, do not hesitate to contact an experienced personal injury lawyer. Let us help you aggressively fight against insurance companies and get to the compensation you deserve. Contact Tolbert Beadle to speak with a knowledgeable and compassionate personal injury lawyer today!
Do I Need a Personal Injury Lawyer?
Many individuals who get injured at work or in other situations such as on vacation or in a car accident, are hesitant to reach out to a personal injury lawyer. Some people may be unsure if they qualify for compensation and others may not want to deal with the hassle. However, your personal injury has changed your life. You may not be able to do things the way you used to at home or work. So, you no matter the severity of your personal injury, you owe it to yourself to evaluate your legal options.
At Tolbert Beadle, we are passionate about helping you win your personal injury claim and fight against insurance companies and big businesses. If you have recently been injured, let an experienced personal injury lawyer at Tolbert Beadle evaluate your case – for free. We will take the time to look over your case and help you discover your legal options. Contact us at (573) 635-0811 to set up a free consultation.
Why Choose Tolbert Beadle?
At Tolbert Beadle, we are dedicated to helping you pursue maximum compensation for your personal injury. We combine our knowledge, experience, and passion to aggressively fight for you in court, even against big businesses and insurance companies.
Additionally, we understand that no two personal injury cases are alike. So, a personal injury lawyer at Tolbert Beadle will take the time to sit down with you and evaluate your unique situation. We will help you develop a personalized case based off of your specific needs. Let us help you win your case today!
Stop By Our Office in Jefferson City, MO
At Tolbert Beadle, a personal injury lawyer is waiting to speak with you about your injury case. Located in the Capitol of Missouri, our office is just minutes from the Governor's Office and the Missouri State Senate. We also have many other locations throughout Missouri in Springfield, Columbia, and Joplin. Feel free to contact us today at (573) 635-0811 if you need help with finding one of our offices.


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Psychiatric Patient Assault and Staff Victim Gender: Fifteen-year Analysis of the Assaulted Staff Action Program (ASAP)
- 149 Downloads
- Citations
Extensive, largely cross-sectional research has documented the continued occurrence of patient assaults on male and female staff. Different studies report either male or female staff to be at highest risk. Studies of same/different gender assaults which might more fully answer this question have been few. In these latter studies both male and female staff were at high risk for same gender assaults. In community settings males were at risk from same gender assaults but females were at risk from assaults by both patient genders. The present 15-year longitudinal retrospective study examined same/different gender assaults over time. Since the health care system under study experienced several major policy changes during these years, data were also examined at 5-year intervals to assess the stability of findings across time. Male and female staff were at increased risk from same gender assaults over time in both inpatient and community settings. The findings and their implications are discussed. In addition, a cost-effective, comprehensive risk management strategy for containing assaults is outlined.
KeywordsAssaults Gender Psychiatric Patient Risk Management Staff Victim
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- 17.Flannery RB Jr, Farley EM, Rego S, et al.: Characteristics of staff victims of psychiatric patient assaults: Fifteen-year analysis of the Assaulted Staff Action Program (ASAP). Psychiatric Quarterly, in press.Google Scholar
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- 23.Rachlin S: The prosecution of violent psychiatric inpatients: One respectable intervention. Bulletin of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law 22:239–247, 1994.PubMedGoogle Scholar


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Know more about this business than we do? Cool! Please submit any corrections or missing details you may have.Help us make it right
Be the first cleveland.com user to add photos or videos of Jeff Phelps Video Productions
Jeff Phelps Video Productions can be found at Rumson Rd 3193. The following is offered: Wedding & Event Videography. The entry is present with us since Sep 9, 2010 and was last updated on Nov 14, 2013. In Cleveland there are 33 other Wedding & Event Videography. An overview can be found here.
Jeff Phelps Video Productions is located at 3193 Rumson Rd, Cleveland, OH. This business specializes in Video.


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Many of us have people who help us in our homes, either looking after our children or helping with household chores. They are mostly young woman who are either relatives or people who we've hired so they can assist in ensuring that because of work and other commitments, we still get to home chores, commitments and makes life run smoothly.
I have observed that in most cases, they are doing this type of work because they had no opportunity for further education or skills training, but like all of us have families to support and look after.
Research has shown that the growth of the economy can be tied amongst other things to the levels of education and ability to generate and spend money by the people of that country. So maybe we can make certain strides in our economy by educating more people who are of a working age.
So perhaps a suggestion, how about investing some money in educating and upskilling someone who needs it, so they can improve their ability to work and earn better, and maybe they will educate someone else with their earnings and the chain can grow.
Who knows where it will lead??


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Posted Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Here are some pics of the United Way BBQ that was held this summer behind Belleville's City Hall.
The Quinte Home Builders' Association celebrated 50 years with the Family Home Showcase Tour, and CJBQ's Jessica Murphy was out checking some of the beautiful homes on the tour.
Posted Tuesday, September 22, 2009
This year's Walk for Heart took place in support of the Heart & Stroke Foundation. Lots of money was raised, and the weather was perfect. Quinte Broadcasting's own Justin Ghent was one of the many participants.
The Rock 'n' Roll Fun Run took place to raise money for the Belleville General Hospital equipment fund. There was live music performed by The Remedy, and over 50 participants young & old.
Posted Friday, September 18, 2009
Jack Miller broadcasted live from the Richmond Retirement Residence's celebration of their 25th anniversary, with Mayor Neil Ellis in attendance.


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We all know that there are photographers out there that charge an absolute fortune. We also know there are people out there that will photograph your wedding for a couple of hundred pounds or less even, just to get their portfolio started.
I understand that everybody has a budget and not everyone can afford those top wedding photographers, but before you do decide to go with that cheaper option please take a think. In 25 years what will be the one way to reflect on your wedding? Will you show off your beautiful dress? Will you offer some Wedding Cake? Perhaps you may just grab your bouquet! I actually doubt that these are going to be an option though.
Professional photographers invest heavily in training, insurance and equipment. Don't let your wedding day be ruined by not having any images you can decorate your wall with.
Anyway, the reason of this post is that I just want to draw your attention away from that cheaper option.... or you may end up with images like this.
Really Awful Wedding Images (click link)
Thanks for reading.
PS. These images were taken by a supposedly Professional Photographer……. They were taken by someone who admits they were not ready to be a professional wedding photographers at the time.
Please tell any bride to be .... check their photographers portfolio before booking. We are always more than happy to show case our images and would never deliver anything that we would not hang on our walls to show off and remind us of our amazing day!
Martin & Ellen
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The Mexican Trailer (2001)
"Love with the safety off." 01 March 2001 Action, Comedy, Crime 123 mins
Jerry Welbach, a reluctant bagman, has been given two ultimatums: The first is from his mob boss to travel to Mexico and retrieve a priceless antique pistol, known as "the Mexican"... or suffer the consequences. The second is from his girlfriend Samantha to end his association with the mob. Jerry figures alive and in trouble with Samantha is better than the more permanent alternative, so he heads south of the border.
Watch the official The Mexican 2001 trailer in HD below or find more The Mexican videos on Vidimovie.


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Ok, so the little guy is an obnoxious gadget, aka virtual pet. However, he was cute, the colors
matched my blog layout and it's fun to watch him chase after flies with his radar.
ANYWAY, have at it...he'll follow your cursor and when you get bored with him, he'll eventually go
back and roost.


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January 1994
This paper describes the emergence of Oman as an important LNG producing nation. (7pp)
Be the first to review this product
The existence of substantial quantities of natural gas and the geographical advantage of being located outside the Strait of Hormuz, coupled with the whole-hearted commitment of the Government of Oman to the Project, provides the basis for Oman to be a most dependable source of supply for LNG; this is reinforced by the presence as private shareholders in the project company of some of the world's most financially sound,longest established and most experienced companies.
The proven and recoverable reserves which have been dedicated by the Government to the project are more than adequate to support the 6 million tonnes per annum LNG project over a period of 20 years. Following specification,tendering and marketing activities now underway,construction work on the liquefaction plant and the LNG carriers is expected to start in mid-1996, leading to the first cargo of LNG being loaded for markets in the Far East and South Europe in early 2000.
Paper delivered by:
David Fleming (Oman LNG)
Prepared for:
Gastech Kuala Lumpur 1994
For over 45 years, the Gastech Exhibition & Conference has been at the forefront of the international gas and LNG market. This world-renowned event is regarded as the most significant meeting place for gas and LNG professionals, where the global industry gathers to do business.
Gastech hosts major IOCs, NOC's, global utility companies, EPC contractors, shipbuilders, pipeline companies, manufacturers, distributors, technology and service providers, all who play an active role in the global energy value chain.
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Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, UAE, Bahrain, Egypt add 9 entities, 9 individuals to lists of terrorist groups
The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, the Kingdom of Bahrain and the Arab Republic of Egypt declare that in their firm and solid commitment to fight terrorism, cut off sources of funding, prosecute those who are involved in it, combat extremist ideologies and hate speech incubators; and in continuous assessment, the four countries have announced the designation of 9 entities and 9 individuals on the lists of terrorist groups:
Entities: 1-AL- Balagh Charitable Foundation - Yemen 2-Al-Ihsan Charitable Society - Yemen 3-Rahma Charitable Organization - Yemen 4-Benghazi Revolutionaries Shura Council- Libya 5-Al-Saraya Media Center- Libya 6-Boshra News Agency - Libya 7-Rafallah Sahati Brigade - Libya 8-Nabaa TV - Libya 9-Tanasuh Foundation for Dawa, Culture and Media – Libya
Individuals: 1-Khalid Saeed al-Bounein (Qatari Citizen) 2-Shaqer Jummah al-Shahwani (Qatari Citizen) 3-Saleh bin Ahmed al-Ghanim (Qatari Citizen) 4-Hamid Hamad Hamid al-Ali (Kuwaiti Citizen) 5-Abdullah Mohammed al-Yazidi (Yemeni Citizen) 6-Ahmed Ali Ahmed Baraoud (Yemeni Citizen) 7-Mohammed Bakr al-Dabaa (Yemeni Citizen) 8-Al-Saadi Abdullah Ibrahim Bukhazem (Libyan Citizen) 9-Ahmed Abd al-Jaleel al-Hasnawi (Libyan Citizen)
The terrorist activities of the aforementioned entities and individuals have direct and indirect ties with the Qatari authorities. The three Qatari individuals on the list, along with a Kuwaiti individual, have engaged in fund-raising campaigns to support Al-Nusra Front and other terrorist militias in Syria. The three Yemeni individuals and the three organizations in Yemen, have provided support to Al- Qaeda, and have conducted actions on its behalf, mainly by using significant funding from Qatari charities, which are designated by the four states as terrorist entities. The two Libyan individuals and the six terrorist entities, affiliated with terrorist groups in Libya, have received substantial financial support from the Qatari authorities and played an active role in spreading chaos and devastation in Libya, despite serious international concern over the destructive impact of such practices.
While noting that the Qatari authorities had previously signed a memorandum of understanding with the United States to stop terror financing and then announced that it was amending its terror combating laws, the four states consider this step, even if it is a submission to the tough demands to combat terrorism and one of many awaited steps to achieve the Qatari authorities' return to the right track, not enough.[….]
To that end, the four states, along with their international partners, will monitor the Qatari authorities' commitment in not harboring terrorist, supporting and financing terrorism, ending promoting of extremist and hate speech, and financing of extremists inside and outside Qatar. The four countries also affirm the continuation of their current measures, and possible future measures that might be taken, until the Qatari authorities are committed to fulfilling all the just demands, which ensure countering terrorism and maintaining security and stability in the region.
Source: Saudi Press Agency


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The AWA Blog will keep our friends and guests up to date with the latest happenings and future events that our members will be involved in.
Autism Art exhibit at Bank in Wellington
|Posted on July 24, 2015 at 11:45 AM
June 2015
Art in public places helps to enrich our communities and form long lasting relationships with our local businesses. The practice of art in public places allows artists to share their creative expression for public enjoyment and helps to inspire creativity in all.
Andrea Kalina, Assistant Vice President at Amtrust Bank in Wellington, Florida invited Artists with Autism, Inc. to exhibit artwork to help raise awareness for autism. On display at the bank, covering the walls, are over thirty pieces of artwork showcasing the works of artists with autism. The artwork includes digital art by Jayson Halberstadt, acrylics by Brandon Drucker, Keith Rebarber, Leah Nesenmen, Andres Pola, watercolor art by Norval Hall, and photography by Sarah Rollins.
A private reception was held for the bank employees to meet and greet the artists with the opportunity to purchase an original piece of artwork to take home.
Art in the workplace is a movement that has seen positive impacts benefiting the employees and the community. The employees enjoy a fresh new look, and the artists enjoy the opportunity to share their talents.
Elaine Halberstadt is curator for the Autism Art exhibit at Amtrust and hopes it will spark an interest in other organizations to provide opportunities for aspiring artists with autism. As the grandmother of one of the participating artist, she has seen the impact her grandson has had by being a member of Artists with Autism. Jayson is one of the original founding members and an emerging digital artist. Mrs. Halberstadt says, "Jayson has become much more social" since being part of Artists with Autism.
The Autism Art exhibit is expected to remain for the month of June with new pieces added each week.
Autism Art in the workplace
|Posted on June 14, 2015 at 5:00 PM
Dental office in Boca Raton exhibits Autism Art in the workplace
A dental office in Boca Raton exhibits autism art in the workplace. The trend to have art in the workplace is becoming popular with large corporations. Research has shown the benefits include productivity and creativity among employees.
The value of art in the workplace has been proven to enhance the work environment and helps to build customer and community relations, enhances morale, reduces stress and increases creativity.
Employees typically spend the majority of their working hours at the workplace and to make the environment more appealing only adds to comfort of all.
Boca Dental Group, located in Boca Raton Florida has recently incorporated the idea of Art in the workplace to enhance the reception room ambiance. The staff welcomes the new, fresh art created by a local artist with autism. Barbara is the insurance coordinator for Dr. Brian Gross at Boca Dental Group. As one of the staff members, she says the art makes her happy and "there is never too much art". Crystal is the hygienist; she says "it lightens up the atmosphere". Kendra has heard the positive feedback from the patients and says for her, the art in the workplace "makes it look more festive".
The artist, Brandon Drucker, was invited by Dr. Brian Gross, owner of Boca Dental Group to display his artwork. As an artist with autism, Brandon has had his artwork on exhibit at other public locations including Nova Southeastern University in Davie, Victoria Park Hotel in Wilton Manors, ArtsPark in Hollywood and others. Brandon is one of the founding members of Artists With Autism, Inc, a not for profit organization that provides opportunities for aspiring and emerging artists with autism.
Art in the workplace helps communities and business establish lasting relationships. For more information about how your business can help provide arts awareness, contact the Business for the Arts of Broward or ArtServe in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Brandon Drucker can be reached at his gallery/studio at the Artists With Autism Gallery and Gift Boutique located inside the Festival Flea Market in Pompano Beach.
If this story interests you, please subscribe to receive more articles on Arts awareness, Autism Awareness and Artists with Autism.
Bookfest features author with autism
|Posted on December 8, 2014 at 10:30 PM
The Children's Book Fest was held in Broward County at the North Regional/Broward College Library in Coconut Creek. This free two day event was preceded by the 27th Annual Conference on Children's Literature and the 12th Annual Ashley Bryan Art Series. The Friday conference included lectures from award winning authors and afternoon breakout sessions included Nancy Lieberman, Director, Baudhuin Preschool, Mailman Segal Center for Human Development at Nova Southeastern University and a workshop: "Designing Library-Based Storytime and Activity Experiences for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder" presented by Anne Leon, Executive Director, Public Library Services Alvin Sherman Library, Meagan Albright, Youth Services Librarian, Alvin Sherman Library. Among the book signings were local authors Timothy Leistner, artist/author of The House Where Happiness Lived, and self-published authors representing ArtistsWithAutism,Inc. was Brandon Drucker, author of The Diary of an Autistic Kid, Michael Vidal, illustrator of Success Express, the most amazing trip of your life, and Marc Pulver, author of Living Life with Autism, The world through my eyes. The Children's Book Fest celebrates Children's Day / book Day, held nationally each year in April and emphasizes the importance of advocating literacy for every child in a community.
Inclusion in the Arts, A Family Affair
|Posted on December 8, 2014 at 10:20 PM
A small group of artists with autism recently had an opening reception alongside local professional and emerging artists at the Schacknow Museum of Fine Arts in Plantation Florida on December 15. Members from the nonprofit networking group; Artists With Autism ,Inc have approximately fifty pieces of artwork on display. One of the founding members, Andres Pola who was diagnosed with autism at a young age, was proud to have his exhibit shared with his talented mother, Alima Newton, artist and an art teacher in the public schools, as well as his twin sister. The family affair art exhibit was a first for the family as they all support the efforts of the art group Andres helped form almost three years ago. As members of Artists With Autism, Inc, Andres and the other members have exhibited in several Broward and Palm Beach County galleries and events, sometimes as a solo group, and sometimes alongside local professional artists. The "Inclusion in the Arts" program which is offered to the members of Artists With Autism, Inc. gives these artists the recognition they deserve as truly emerging, talented artists and allows them the opportunity to display and discuss their art with other artists, and art enthusiasts. Their art is also made available for purchase from a virtual gallery. The "Inclusion in the Arts- The Exhibit" runs until January 24, 2013.
After High School, Then What?
|Posted on December 8, 2014 at 9:50 PM
What happens when your autistic child finally ages out of the public school system? Brandon has been relentless applying for jobs for the past several years. He has applied at all the places that he interned at while in the Community –Based Instruction program in high school. But, now those same establishments either do not, or will not, hire him as a regular employee. Upon finishing his last year at high school at age 22, he was extremely fortunate to be one of 67 students chosen to participate in the brand new pilot program offered by the Marino Foundation. The Marino Campus offers a post-secondary education for students with autism.
The South Florida autism community has had the benefit of having this organization in their backyard raising awareness and funds for autism. The Founder, Dan Marino is known as one of the greatest quarterbacks in football history and has an adult son with autism.
Brandon was enrolled in the Entrepreneur Program at The Marino Campus. The program was demanding and required a college level of maturity and a business mentality. These requirements were neither easily met, nor understood at Brandon's comprehension level. I was made aware of his limitations, and was made to realize, that as much as he continues to progress every day, he still needs a different way of teaching in order for him to learn. He completed the program. It was a phenomenal life experience. It was also a reality check for me. He cannot be expected to learn in a typical learning environment.
I am proud of his accomplishments, and he is learning that with each new achievement, will bring him closer to his many personal dreams and goals. He completed the Marino Campus receiving a certificate in Entrepreneurship and recognition for "Most Original"
Sincerity Project 2012 at Studio18
|Posted on July 2, 2012 at 12:45 AM
Opening Reception at the Studio 18 in the Pines was a huge exciting event for the members of AWA. Several members had their art piece sold on opening night. It meant so much for the artists to mingle with the artists of Studio18 who they interpreted their works for. Hope to see all our friends and family at the Salon day on July 6, 7-9pm to meet the artists for a Q and A.


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Written By Josh Harriman And Presented By Charles Leaver Ziften CEO
Another outbreak, another nightmare for those who were not prepared. While this newest attack is similar to the earlier WannaCry threat, there are some distinctions in this latest malware which is an alternative or brand-new strain much like Petya. Named, NotPetya by some, this strain has a great deal of issues for anybody who experiences it. It may encrypt your data, or make the system completely inoperable. And now the email address that you would be needed to get in touch with to 'perhaps' unencrypt your files, has been removed so you're out of luck retrieving your files.
Plenty of information to the actions of this danger are openly offered, but I wished to discuss the fact that Ziften consumers are safeguarded from both the EternalBlue threat, which is one system utilized for its proliferation, and even much better still, an inoculation based upon a possible defect or its own type of debug check that removes the hazard from ever performing on your system. It might still spread however in the environment, however our security would currently be rolled out to all existing systems to halt the damage.
Our Ziften extension platform enables our clients to have defense in place against certain vulnerabilities and malicious actions for this threat and others like Petya. Besides the particular actions taken against this particular version, we have actually taken a holistic approach to stop certain strains of malware that carry out various 'checks' against the system before performing.
We can likewise utilize our Search ability to try to find remnants of the other proliferation methods utilized by this risk. Reports show WMIC and PsExec being used. We can search for those programs and their command lines and use. Despite the fact that they are legitimate procedures, their usage is typically unusual and can be signaled.
With WannaCry, and now NotPetya, we expect to see a continued increase of these kinds of attacks. With the release of the recent NSA exploits, it has given ambitious hackers the tools required to push out their malware. And though ransomware dangers can be a high product vehicle, more damaging dangers could be released. It has actually always been 'how' to obtain the risks to spread (worm-like, or social engineering) which is most challenging to them.


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ANKARA – British Prime Minister Theresa May arrived in Turkey on Saturday for her first visit since becoming premier, hoping to expand ties and seal a new trading relationship before Britain leaves the European Union.
Just after meeting with new US President Donald Trump at the White House, May was to hold talks with President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Prime Minister Binali Yildirim on a one-day visit to the Turkish capital Ankara, according to the APP.
As is traditional for any visiting leader, she started the visit by laying a wreath at the mausoleum of Turkey's modern founder Mustafa Kemal Ataturk.
Earlier on Friday, Theresa May met with Donald Trump at the White House in Washington D.C.
Trump told May he believes Brexit will be a "wonderful thing" for Britain and open the door to new trade deals as the two leaders held hands at the White House.
Mrs May said: "Thank you for inviting me so soon after your inauguration and I'm delighted to be able to congratulate you on what was a stunning election victory."


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Here is everything you need to know about the Clash of Clans 9.256.4 update.
Clash of Clans by Supercell // Current Version: 9.256.4 // Last updated: October 11, 2017
What's New?
Home Village Updates:
New level limits and visual changes for Town Hall 11 troops and buildings
- Valkyries – Can now be upgraded to level 6
- Upgrade Cost: 150,000 Dark Elixir
- Upgrade Time: 14 days
- Training Cost: 220 Dark Elixir
- Golems – Can now be upgraded to level 7
- Upgrade Cost: 200,000 Dark Elixir
- Upgrade Time: 14 days
- Training Cost: 900 Dark Elixir
- Bomb Tower – Can now be upgraded to level 6
- Upgrade Cost: 10,000,000 Gold
- Upgrade Time: 14 days
- Damage when destroyed: 340
- Air Sweeper – Can now be upgraded to level 7
- Upgrade Cost: 9,600,000 Gold
- Upgrade Time: 10 days
- Push Strength: 4.0 tiles
- Walls – 25 more segments can be upgraded to level 12
Home Village Balance:
P.E.K.K.A. level 6: adds +100 HP and +10 DPS
Social Improvements:
Clan Suggestions
- Searching for Clans becomes even easier with the new Clan Suggestions function. The Suggestions will prioritize Clans by activity such as Clan War activity, Troop donation activity, etc. An icon will also highlight suggested Clans that has a member from your Friends List.
Online Indicator
- The Clan Chat will now display the number of Clanmates currently online.
- The Friends List will now display which members of your Friends List are currently online.
- You can now spectate attacks your friends make via the Friends List.
Clan Improvements:
- New 35v35 and 45v45 Friendly Wars
- Spectator slots for Clan Wars increased to 30, +10 extra slots for viewing via your Friends List
- Get notifications when a War Attack is happening, even while in Replay Mode.
- Clans can now set Builder Base trophy requirements in the Clan Settings.
- Clan Badge, Clan Troop drop stone, and Castle graphic update – The new Clan Badge border will change based on your Clans level.
- Clan Path – Donated troops will now travel through the Clan Path on the map.
Builder Base Friendly Challenge!
Practice your favorite attack strategies and test your layouts with these new Friendly Versus Battles!
General Updates:
A.I. adjustments
- Battles will not finish until the projectile from the last unit lands on the target even if that unit is killed.
- Improvements on troop attack position selection.
Clash of Clans .APK Download
Download the latest Clash of Clans update here: Clash of Clans 9.256.4 .APK