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How does he know there has been no remission?
Leukemia Questions
How do I cope as a caregiver??
Asked by Leukemia_WN on Thursday, January 24, 2013
How do I cope as a caregiver??
I know AML is treatable, but after 2 rounds of chemotherapy and no remission, my husband is discouraged and wants to give up and enjoy whatever time he has left.
6 Answers from the Community6 answers
First off, I too am a caretaker for my husband with colon cancer. I do wish I could find other caretakers in my area (Seattle) to meet up with in person, but until then I am here on the board. When my husband, Peroll, finished his first round of chemo 8 1/2 years ago, he was very discouraged and very depressed to the point of being suicidal. I am, by profession, a social worker, but I felt completely out of my realm and didn't know what to do for him or with him. To make a longer story short, I learned that chemo messes with the brain and brings on this state of discouragement and depression. The good news is that it can be 'fixed' with simple medication. My husband has been to the 5% line 5 times in the last 8 years and other than the one time he has not felt discouraged or depressed since. The antidepressant he takes does it's job well. I encourage you to speaak to the oncologist about what is going on and ask for meds as the other thing we learned is that oncologists don't know a lot about depression and chemo. I wish you all the best.
If AML is treatable....why give up? Life is worth fighting for. Chemo does in fact XXX with your brain a bit and he may be depressed. Might not be a bad idea to have him share these issues with his Doctor. They may decide to put him on some medication while he continues his treatment. Continue to encourage him. That's the best thing you can do as a caregiver.
Your husband is having a normal emotional reaction, and needs to talk to someone about the emotional impact having cancer is having on him. You may also want to speak to someone because being a caregiver is hard, in many respects harder then being a patient.
Your DH had very optimistic expectations of how long it would take for chemo to work. Perhaps you can sit down with his oncologist and talk about his treatment and possible time frames. S/he can also recommend therapists who specialize in treating cancer patients and/or their caregivers.
You should try to build a support system for yourself, otherwise you will burn out in no time, as well as you husband.
Hi! I'd like to help you with this. Have you heard of Imerman Angels? I volunteer with them & they're one of many helpful resources I know of. They offer FREE 1:1 Support . . . for Caregivers too! Maybe you could sign up with them & request some support so you could talk to someone? Here's the link to check it out & you'd say Request a Caregiver Mentor. I certainly hope this helps you!! http://www.imermanangels.org/get-cancer-support.php
Oops, sorry, I hit answer too soon! I also wanted to tell you to please check out http://www.caregivers4cancer.com I hope these help you out!!
Help the community by answering this question:
Read and answer more leukemia questions. Also, don't forget to check out our Leukemia page.


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subset: commoncrawl


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Last week we introduced peer marking in Year 2 using the green pen to give 'feedback from a friend'. We were fantastic at giving positive, specific and useful feedback to help each other improve. We can now use WWW (what went well) and EBI (even better if) to feedback to our friends.
Monthly Archives: September 2014
Cuddly Toy Photographs
A plea for….kitchen roll tubes!
Next week we will begin our new topic 'Wild Weather' as part of this we will be designing and making model lighthouses. Please could you send in any empty kitchen roll tubes as they become available as we will be using these to make our final piece and to test our ideas.
Many Thanks
We enjoyed a creative afternoon today experimenting with and improving our colour mixing skills. We took our paint brushes for a 'walk' around our paper and mixed some interesting colours to fill in our shapes with some fantastic outcomes!


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Families were flooded out of their homes and students were stuck in schools around MLK and Griggs and now some are worried this week's rain could bring fresh flooding.
Some of the residents in Sunnyside say the high water two weeks ago was the worst they'd ever experienced so they wanted to find out what caused it and how to prevent it from happening again.
The January 9 floods caught many lifelong residents off guard.
"The water was coming up on my yard. The water could not flow off and then it was really bad by the schools. It was bad all over," resident Joyce Lowe said.
They were driving in water and wading in it. At a neighborhood meeting Monday night at Sunnyside Park, many homeowners demanded answers about what caused the flooding, and with more rain in the forecast, whether their lives will be disrupted again.
"People said tonight that the flooding even backed up to Calhoun, so it wasn't just Griggs, Southpar and Reed Road, traffic jams. So it was a cascading effect," said Charles X White with Sunnyside Southpark Super Neighborhood.
Railroad officials say a broken culvert caused some problems and have promised City Councilwoman Wanda Adams it will be fixed by the time there is more rain.
"In this particular area it didn't drain. That's the concern some of the residents had and they have every right to have that concern because some of them lost a lot of things in their homes," Adams said.
From broken culverts to plugged drains, many of the residents spread the blame between the city, railroad and METRO.
"Homes that flooded that never have before. We're trying to find out exactly what is the problem, what's causing the flooding, since it's never flooded before," resident Norman Tibbs said.
A task force was formed within the neighborhood association to address the flooding issues and hold the various city entities accountable.


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You have chosen to be a contractor and this is not 'second best' to being employed. Well not according to a majority of 73% of those becoming self-employed in the last five years, a report by the Resolution Foundation found, who say they prefer being self-employed to any other way of working.
It's because you want to be your own boss, be flexible with the choice of location of your next contract, choose when and where to work, enjoy the variety of different contracts and hopefully reap the benefits when you work harder.
Whatever your reason, you see a bright road ahead; no longer having to put up with a boss you dislike, the hassles of a typical 9-5 job, the commute to work in heavy traffic, no one breathing down your neck.
But be warned, life as a contractor may not be as rosy as planned. HMRC has doubled the amount of tax investigations held in just the past year alone, which has raised concerns that making an innocent mistake could make you a target. With the number of self-employed people investigated quadrupling in this time, you need to ensure that your tax affairs are in order.
Not only has HMRC brought their total of investigators to more than 1,600 but they are creating special 'task forces' especially to investigate contractors and freelancers amongst others. They are on a mission to win back the estimated £35bn a year of lost tax!
Many contractors feel that they have nothing to hide, being totally innocent, which may well be the case however what will you do if you receive a letter from HMRC? How will you present your information to them ensuring your innocence and giving you the best possible chance of a successful defence? Have you got the time to deal with this whilst working hard as a contractor? How will you deal with the stress involved?
There are many insurances in the market to choose from to cover you in these instances, Qdos in particular, who have just released an IR35 defence pack, alternatively you could, of course, choose 'second best' and become an employee!!
Qdos Contractor is a trading style of Qdos Broker & Underwriting Services Ltd
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Examples of an About Us Page
Content on a website – all of it starts with the "About Us" page.
For an amazing 'About Us' page, you should consider your unique identification and share this with everybody. The "About Us" page is quite possibly one of the most critical web pages on your internet site. Sadly it is likewise among one of the most usually overlooked web pages, which is why you have to give special attention to it.
You should think of an About Us page as a chance to start constructing trust with potential new clients.
Take into consideration the following:
– Education concentrating on certifications that are related to your experience in your current line of work.
– Your interest rate (or passion) for your work.
The emphasis should be on how your education and learning, understanding and passion will provide assistance to your clients. It takes ages to produce a great About Us page. The focus should certainly be on the benefits to clients as opposed to self recognition.
Instances of exceptional About Us web pages:
- At Apptopia, every day everyone comes to work because we want to solve the best issues in mobile. Today we provide numerous convenient mobile app information & insights into the marketplace. We want to make these details available to as many individuals as viable (not just the top 5%). (https://apptopia.com/about).
- Moz first began in 2004, and we've been on an amazing journey ever since. From when we started as an SEO firm to launching the very first Pro app in 2007, we have in fact attempted to hold on to our primary worth – TAGFEE – as well as to provide an unbelievable experience for our neighbourhood and clients. We owe a large thank you to our listeners for being with us on this impressive journey, and we hope that you'll always be part of it. (https://moz.com/about).
- FortyOneTwenty have boosted the bench in reality TV with a professionalism and reliance that is as distinct as they are. They combine creativity, development as well as technological precision which makes them a must to work with. Who they are as experts will attract you to them however who they are as people will certainly guarantee that you go back for more! (http://www.fortyonetwenty.com/about-us/).
- Lawyers – Regulation Companies – Solicitors
Dorsey's solicitors and staff might assist you in gaining an edge using terrific legal know-how and ability with valuable knowledge and an in depth understanding of your business and also the marketplace.
We help clients in mainly all industries however we concentrate on 6 markets that we have terrific depth and also a history of achieving success for our clients. Our economic, power, food and also agriculture, healthcare, mining along with natural resources along with public-private partnerships help to coordinate our teams that serve these markets throughout different areas together with strategy areas, ensuring they are at the cutting edge of market demands and trends as well as sharing cumulative experience and also competence.
With workplaces in the U.S.A and in Canada, Europe and the Asia-Pacific area, we provide an integrated, positive strategy for our clients' lawful and business needs all over the world. (https://www.dorsey.com/about).
- Food
Marie Catrib's is an eating enterprise, so you might think that their "About Us" web page would certainly be your regular "here's how we began, this is just what our company believes in, and this is our food" story. Marie Catrib's "About Us" page does give us that – however it does so in an extremely non-traditional way. Promptly, the consumer's eyes are reeled in to a header that states, "It's fine making a mess, experiments can lead to magnificent things". This is rather thought provoking for a restaurant that you can have dinner in.
It's hard to believe nevertheless, at one point Marie was banished from the family cooking area. "They genuinely did not want me there – I was too untidy", she laughs. After the clearing up was done, Marie would certainly tip-toe past her resting mum and grandma to do her cooking experiments. When her blind granny returned to the kitchen area to begin the next dish's preparation, she felt the plates that Marie had left. "What occurred right here?" Those early experiments blazed a trail for Marie to find that with a twist of Lebanese, a hit of Yooper along with a yen for unique pastries, she would absolutely bring her love to Grand Rapids. (http://www.mariecatribs.com/about/).
- Medical professionals – Insurer
All About The Doctors Company
Our goal – to protect, safeguard and benefit the method of excellent medication – impacts all that we do.
As the country's biggest physician-owned clinical negligence insurance provider, we are increasingly committed to the constant protection and shielding for our participants from the market's most difficult problems with unmatched protection, along with sophisticated rewards.
We lead the market thanks to the leaders in our boardroom. Over fifty percent of our Board of Governors are physicians or experts, ensuring that our members' benefits are secured and also taken care of.
Our monetary strength gives us the power to secure and protect our participants currently and in to the future. The Doctors Company has more than $4 billion in assets and $1.8 billion in member excess – the best of any kind of nationwide physician-owned clinical responsibility service provider – and we are rated A by A.M. Best Company along with Fitch Rankings.
Via our subsidiaries, we offer a huge choice of additional insurance policies and services. TDC Specialized Underwriters, Inc. provides non-admitted insurance coverage safety and security as well as solutions for certain professional and enduring treatment centres, medical professional groups, non-standard medical professionals, handled care business, life sciences companies along with professional examinations teams. Furthermore, The Doctors Company Insurance Solutions utilizes an account of insurance coverage to safeguard the business threats inherent in today's medical practices.
Teaming up to progress the practice of wonderful medicine.
The nation's most popular medical firms acknowledge our dedication to great quality and also sponsor us as their chosen medical liability insurance protection firm. Our business with these societies addresses ongoing concerns for the industry and gives participants significant advantages.
In 2008, we generated The Doctors Company Foundation to sustain patient security research studies in addition to education and learning programs with donations to charity. The Foundation, led by David B. Troxel, MD, clinical director at The Doctors Company, works to boost the atmosphere where physicians and all doctors function. (http://www.thedoctors.com/TDC/about-the-doctors-company).
In the UK there is also a doctors support group which could deal with NHS suspensions or cases of unfair dismissal in the medical profession and there are SEO specialists that can help with web design for doctors, to improve an "About Us" page and therefore push the website higher up in the rankings so that medical professionals are aware of its existence.
- Electrical service provider:
Family-Owned Values Since1980
Maglio Electric, LLC is owned and run by family, supplying NJ homes and businesses with budget friendly, durable electrical and solar services. Integrating timeless craftsmanship with market innovation, Maglio's electrical firm offer one of the most efficient customer experiences with every instalment, repair and service.
Partner today on: 908.735.6218.
Company History
With more than 50 years of experience, Anthony Maglio, Jr. is experienced in all aspects of electrical and solar design and installation.
Specialist Organizations
Maglio Electric is a New Jersey strength and joins the sector's most depended upon expert firms.
Licenses & Accreditations
Our electrical specialists are qualified and educated to deliver outstanding professional service.
Solution Locations
Maglio Electric provides work to citizens and also company proprietors in New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Look for us in your neighbourhood area.
Maglio Electric is really happy to maintain Hunterdon County as well as the surrounding locations. Partner with us as we share our time and resources with beneficial charities.
Our Portfolio
As an electrical professional in NJ, we blaze a trail in electric wiring repair works, electrical instalments, solar energy and a lot more. See the work we have done. (http://www.maglioelectricllc.com/about-us/).
- Audit professionals:
A conscientious, receptive, trustworthy option.
Dick Greenwood and Everett Ohlund started Greenwood, Ohlund & Co. over 35 years ago and since then our company has ended up being a well-respected partner in the Ballard area and the greater Seattle area.
We have actually established dependability for offering customers great solutions that include bookkeeping, accountancy, tax obligations as well as service consulting, all at economical rates.
Our organisation with totally devoted specialists and also assistance personnel is large enough to satisfy consumers' demands, yet little enough to offer customized, responsive solutions.
Our clients get ready for competent specialist services carried out in a prompt way. We have the ability to accomplish this by working very thoroughly with them along with making sure they are kept enlightened and involved.
We strive to develop and maintain durable company partnerships. Greenwood, Ohlund & Co. is dedicated to the development along with the success of our clients. (http://www.greenwoodcpa.com/welcome.php).
- Business Trainer
Since 1997, ActionCOACH has actually spent time with hundreds of businesses and their proprietors around the world in every possible group.
ActionCOACH is a team of dedicated, proactive and effective individuals that are constantly intending to be balanced, indispensable and straightforward. We will definitely function within our "14 Aspects of Culture" to make sure that every person that touches, or is touched by the ActionCOACH group, will definitely earn a lot of money.
Brad Sugars is the Proprietor and Chairman of ActionCOACH, the world's main solution mentoring company with over 1,000 workplaces in 32 nations. Not only did he help businesses… (you can read more at http://www.actioncoach.com/about-us/).
For a website to be effective, along with a fantastic "About Us" page, it is necessary for your site to be fast to download and install. The download speed will have an adverse influence on your organisation if your website is very slow to download and install and possible customers can select another website from the Google results page to view as opposed to yours. You have to optimize your on page aspects to ensure that you have an excellent website authority with a high quality score which can enhance your website a great deal.
- Expert digital photographer
Born in 1971 in Bergen, Norway, Thomas Brun initially saw photography in his father's darkroom. Brun Elder has really been one of Norway's recognized portrait specialist photographers for a whole generation. Thomas' passions for a task in photography led him to Paris, to start with as a pupil at Parsons School of Design and later on as a working specialist concentrating on studies in still life in addition to style and fashion. He went back to Oslo in Norway where he enhanced his enthusiasm for fine art photography, while he maintained a foot in the style, layout and advertising and marketing globes. (http://thomasbrun.no/).
A wedding photographer in Essex might have a fabulous website with images of bride and groom in wonderful settings – stately homes, national parks or historical churches. A great "About Us" page can certainly attract people to the website and portraits of family groups and bridesmaids or page boys can certainly make a page appealing.
- Financial Adviser
We provide a comprehensive financial consultancy option to help with your short, medium and long term financial planning needs. We are devoted to being completely independent, consequently supplying products from the entire market.
We base our referrals on efficiency, effectiveness, results and organisation security.
Our primary goals are:
– to provide a specific service to our customers
– to go beyond customer assumptions
– to offer documents and guidance in a language you recognize
– to acquire and make use of the potential that is supplied by the most modern advancements for collecting information and communicating it where needed
– to gain trust as well as respect from our customers with our professional experience in addition to our existing understanding of market developments.
( http://www.rbfp.co.uk/aboutus.php).
A financial adviser in Woodford in Essex could also have an exceptional website with performance tables and data about savings as well as investments, pensions and ISAs and with a great "About Us" page with pictures of staff and business achievements, potential new clients visiting the website will like what they see.
- Cleaning company
"We Clean Homes"
In 1984, company owner David McKinnon brought Molly Maid over from Canada to Ann Arbor, Michigan to offer energetic American residences a trustworthy, cost-effective service to the messy home.
Residents that stayed in the inexpensive college area, which additionally had an expanding technology sector, automotive jobs and a number of area clinical centres, made use of the new solution, which quickly took over other locations in countless other states.
Today – thirty years later on – there are over 450 independently owned Molly Maid cleaning solution franchise companies running throughout the U.S.A. Last year, we did 1.7 million "cleans" – 90 percent of those were repeat business.
American employees are some of the most trustworthy in the whole world – and also have been for years. Dual-income family members dominate along with commutes and work weeks that are greater than 40 hours going into evenings and weekends. Kids have research, acrobatics, singing lessons, football practice etc.
Functioning typically on a once a week or once a fortnight routine, Molly Maid cleaning provides active people with tidy, comfortable homes to go back to and enjoy- houses that are cleaned as you would certainly like them which then have a 24 hour complete satisfaction guarantee.
In 2013, McKinnon was presented right into the Entrepreneurship Hall of Fame. McKinnon declares, "I frequently inform people that Molly Maid is a straightforward organisation: We clean homes." (https://www.mollymaid.com/about-us.aspx).
- Builders – Loft Extensions
Marble Construction specialise in all types of developments, attic room conversions in addition to house enhancements in Surrey, Hampshire and all the surrounding areas. With higher than fifteen years of experience within the building market, we could assist with all types of renovations from changing garages to house repairs. Rely on Marble to look after every little thing.
We are a specialist firm that provides unbelievable premium solutions at a budget-friendly expenditure. For a FREE no commitment discussion in addition to layout surveys on the alternatives we offer, please do not be reluctant to drop us an email, phone us or just complete our call form and a person from our team will absolutely get in touch with you. (https://www.marbleconstruction.co.uk/).
- Letterbox Circulation together with Marketing
Organisations in Greater Manchester are constantly trying to find one of the most cost-effective advertising and marketing methods to advertise their product and services. This is where we are readily available by making the most of a variety of understanding along with experience in brochure distribution in the entire UK.
How we began
Our company started in Manchester, starting as a tiny family run organisation and it keeps increasing yearly. The passion for regional organisation success was embraced within the production and innovation of LDM UK right into the trustworthy firm it is today.
We can help bring in new business to your organisation.
No matter how big or small your firm is, efficient sales brochure design, manufacturing, printing along with circulation by leaflet distribution firms could have a good impact on your company. We're here in order to help give you a competitive advantage over your competitors. There is no reason to promote in other areas when you could easily advertise your service specifically where your potential consumers live. (http://www.leafletdistributionmanchester.com/ldm-uk/).


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Free Doll Skirt Knitting Pattern
Materials: Dale of Norway Falk Dalegarn sport weight grey yarn 106m (109 yds)/50g - 2 balls. Dale of Norway Falk Dalegarn sport weight pink yarn 106m (109 yds)/50g - 1 ball.
1 (2.25 mm) OR SIZE NEEDED TO OBTAIN GAUGE
10 pink buttons
Gauge:30 st x 30 rows = 4" x 4" (10 cm x 10 cm)
1 k, 1 p
Chevron Pattern
Multiple of 12 sts + 3 sts
Row: 1:1 k, k2tog, *9 k, k3tog* repeat from * to *, the last 12 sts 9 k, k2tog, 1 k
Row 2: 1 k, *1 p, 4 k, (1k, yo, 1 k) in the next st, 4 k*, repeat from * to *, the last 2 sts 1 p, 1 k
Repeat rows 1 and 2
Selvedge stitches
The 1st and last stitch of the pattern are selvedge stitches. To make the edges of your work even and smooth 2 more stitches (selvedge stitches) are added. You should always slip the first stitch as if to knit and purl the last stitch. The selvedge stitches are not counted in the pattern unless otherwise specified.
Cast on 89 sts (including edge stitches) with grey yarn.
Row 1 (wrong side) all knit
Row 2: chevron pattern. Knit chevron pattern for 29 rows.
Rows 6-9 and 14-17 knit with pink yarn.
Row 30-35 knit rib - 75 sts. Cast off.
Join back seam leaving 1 inch at the top. Sew 1 button and make a loop on the other site for closure.
Close-up of the skirt.
|Knit >> Doll Clothes
|Difficulty Level:
|Yarn Weight:


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Status: Closed
Know more about this business than we do? Cool! Please submit any corrections or missing details you may have.Help us make it right
Be the first MassLive.com user to add photos or videos of Abbey Cutters
Abbey Cutters can be found at North St 146. The following is offered: Salons. The entry is present with us since Sep 9, 2010 and was last updated on Nov 14, 2013. In Pittsfield there are 46 other Salons. An overview can be found here.
Abbey Cutters is located at 146 North St, Pittsfield, MA. This business specializes in Beauty Salons.


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Product Detail
Tools and Tips for Using Alternative Water Sources
If your main calls are in a city setting, than you probably never think about where the water is coming from! But if you are like 80% of the Canadian fire fighters, you have a combination of areas with hydrants and without hydrants, and a vast number have no hydrants at all! This is where preparation and knowledge of drafting will come into play.
It is key to remember that in drafting, you're not sucking the water, you're lifting it; and from whatever body of water you're utilizing (a pond, pool, river, etc.), you need a solid, hard, reliable surface that will support your apparatus while doing so.
- Have a plan & pre-identify sources ahead of time.
Even if there are "wet" hydrants in the area, there is no guarantee a malfunction won't happen or even the possibility of running out of water. Before responding to a call, you need to pre-identify sources ahead of time:
"Where are the static water supplies?"
"Is there a solid reliable surface to place the truck on?"
"Will we be able to reach the water supply with the amount of hard suction hose we have?"
These are all questions you need to ask to ensure you're prepared when you arrive on scene. This means continuous training and practice for when the call comes.
- Always carry the right tools that will maximize flow.
Coming prepared to a scene with drafting equipment, like hard suction hose and a good strainer (or two), can keep you from looking foolish in front of the public. A high-volume low-level strainer, like this option from Task Force Tips, will keep friction loss down and with the optional jet siphon, it will significantly increase suction lift capability. Your strainer needs to be fully submerged to be effective. However, without a floating device, you run the risk of drawing bottom debris into the water flow.
With TFT's brand new compact floating attachment (soon to be released at FDIC 2016), you can turn any TFT high-volume low-level strainer into a floating strainer. By simply unlatching and removing the pivot pin, the float attachment can be quickly added or removed to maximize water supply operations. This new floatation device allows TFT's high volume low-level strainer to collect clean water from ponds, lakes and rivers. The strainer inlet remains suspended 18" below the water surface level to avoid drawing surface air or bottom debris into the water flow. Most floating strainers take up huge amounts of space, creating storage constraints for critical and often more utilized equipment. The new TFT package is compact, shaped square to maximize compartment utilization, and is durable enough to allow equipment to be stored on top to make sure you never have to leave your (sometimes vital) drafting equipment behind.
There are a number of different ways to achieve drafting operations but the number one priority is to always have a plan and be prepared. Water is typically one of the most critical tools when fire fighting so it is important to never be caught without it. Using devices like these allows you to get water from very distant areas by using the jet siphon and your discharge hoses, to move large volumes of water back to dry stable land where you can utilize it. In a crisis situation, you need lots of water, lots of manpower, lots of fire hose and many port-a-tanks, as it is all about moving water.


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Common flower mantid
C016/6100 Rights Managed
530 pixels on longest edge, unwatermarked
Request/Download high-res file
Uncompressed file size: 25.0MB
Downloadable file size: 810.9KB
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Credit: NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY
Release details: Model release not required. Property release not required.
Keywords: animal, arthropod, arthropoda, biological, biology, common flower mantid, entomological, entomology, fauna, hexapod, hexapoda, insect, insecta, invertebrata, invertebrate, leaf, mantid, mantis, mantodea, nature, one, praying mantis, studio shot, white background, wildlife, zoological, zoology
Licence fees: A licence fee will be charged for any media (low or high resolution) used in your project.


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Are you ready?! Ok!
You've asked and we've delivered - A-Line dresses are here! From cheerleaders to donut kitties, ice creams to watermelons, we've got you covered! (Literally!)
The A-Line dresses are a much looser fitting style than the bodycons and are incredibly flattering. They're also made out of one piece of fabric (there's no seam at the waistline like with the skater dresses) so we can pretty much put any design on them - meaning endless possibilities for you!
Not too long, not too short, not too tight, not too loose. They're juuuuust right! Made with the love, care and attention to detail you've come to know from LDC, I'm fairly certain quite a few of you will discover this is your new favourite style!
Which A-Line will you be rocking?


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Below is a list of the new items being offered at Supplies Wholesalers. You will see a broad range of newly added compatible toners and inkjets covering a wide array of manufacturers. Please click here to contact your sales representative for your pricing and ask about volume discounts.
Category: SW News
Faster shipping with our Dallas DC Launching soon! – SW January Wholesale Newsletter
The Team at Supplies Wholesalers wants to thank all of our reseller partners for a fantastic 2016. We truly appreciate the opportunity to work with you all on your compatible toner needs. With 2017 starting off in high gear, we wanted to make you all aware of the very minimal change in the freight plans […]
SW Blog Launched
Supplies Wholesalers has launched our new blog to assist in providing an easy place to keep updated on important news from SW, as well as important industry updates.


text: This beach was such a surprise, especially as we headed to this beach after visiting Yanchep Beach which was a bit disappointing. I have always really liked cliffs, and Two Rocks has some amazing sandy cliffs that extend down the entirety of the beach. We had some fun jumping of the ladder to the beach, and I spent a bit of time wondering about coastal erosion and how that all worked. The beach was pretty much deserted and I think the whole time we were there we maybe saw two people. The houses in the area are very nice, and all would have a gorgeous view of the Indian Ocean!


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I was in pretty good, size 6 modelling shape not too long ago, a pretty flat tummy, 32D boobs, ect but long story short let it slip up. I am not looking to become a size 0 or anything I just need to return to a more flat tummied, slimmer version again by September, 1st and I have a shoot July, 28th so some improvements by then would be great as well.
I am wondering since bloating/bad eating habits is my worst problem which has caused my tummy to swell/bloat tremendously so you think by drinking more water and eating smaller, healthier meals I could decrease the bloated, swollen look and my flat tummy will return? I am also doing weights 2-3 times a week and using a weighted hula hoop. Will that help me get into modelling shape again?


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Km 44 McArthur Highway, City of Malolos, Bulacan
Manila and Malolos Campuses
Manila Campus
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For the Church and the People
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Category Archives: June News & Events
June employee of the Month: Ryanne Fender
Ryanne Fender has been with the Seattle Athletic Club since February 2016. In that short time, she has quickly become a member and employee favorite. Ryanne started out in the café where she spends most of her time. She has recently branched out and started working in our childcare, and as expected she's a favorite […]
May Employee of the Month: Dana Lauren
Please join us in congratulating Dana Lauren as our May Employee of the Month! Having been an athlete most of her life and a member of the Central Washington University women's soccer team, Dana followed her passion for sports and fitness and became a personal fitness trainer. Lucky for us, Dana joined the […]
Mom's/Dad's Afternoon Out!
Tuesday, June 14th & 28th | 3:30pm-6:30pm Need an afternoon to yourself? Mom's/Dad's Afternoon Out is a perfect time for you to drop the kids off and do just that Cost: Members $24+tax | Non-Members $34+tax For more information, please contact our Childcare Director, Roni Olson, at firstname.lastname@example.com or (206) 522-9400 ext. 253.
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Mom's/Dad's Morning Out!
Wednesday, June 1st & 15th | 9:00am-12:00pm Now you can have the morning to yourself as well. Come drop the kids off while you do some shopping or just relax. Cost: Members $22+tax | Non-Members $32+tax For more information, please contact our Childcare Director, Roni Olson, at firstname.lastname@example.com or (206) 522-9400 ext. 253.
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Picnic & Play Day at the Park With Swimming!
Friday, June 24th | 11:30am-3:30pm Hooray for summer! Let's have a picnic lunch at the park followed by games and fun with our friends. We will end our afternoon in the pool here at the Club. Please be sure to pack a lunch, sunscreen, swimsuit, goggles and anything else your child may need to have […]
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June Film Night: Slumdog Millionaire
Wednesday, June 1st | 7:00pm-9:00pm Directed by Danny Boyle and Loveleen Tandan, Slumdog Millionaire tells the story of Jamal Malik (Dev Patel), an orphan from Mumbai, who only needs to answer one more question to win 20 million rupees on India's version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. When time runs out on the […]
Celebrate Dad with Pilates!
Month of June Show your love and appreciation for Dad with the gift of Pilates. During the month of June, the Pilates studio is offering a 10% discount on a package of 3 private or duet sessions to show Dad how much he means to you! *All sessions must be used within the month of […]
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Pilates & Plunge
Thursdays | 12:00pm-1:00 pm Complimentary Come join us for a complimentary class that incorporates Pilates and swimming into one workout! We will start with a half hour Pilates mat class on the pool deck, then we will jump in for a half hour of swimming that focuses on core and balance. You do not need […]
Armed & Ready!
Group Reformer classes During the month of June Saturdays | 12:00pm These group Reformer classes will have a special focus on the arms, back, and chest in a full body workout! Get beautifully sculpted arms and be "armed & ready" for the summer! *Classes are limited to 3 people and 3 sign-ups are required to […]
Super Jock 'n' Jill Member Discount Day
Saturday, June 4th Is your workout gear looking a little shabby? Refresh your wardrobe with some new workout clothes from Super Jock 'n' Jill! Shop there throughout the day on Saturday, June 4th and receive 15% off your entire purchase and 50% off sale items. Be sure to take your membership card along with you […]
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In December 2016, 17 students along with staff members Michelle Heath, Vickie Lester and the Rev'd David MacGillivray left Adelaide for the third Trinity2Cambodia Mission Trip. While in Cambodia, the team visited and supported a range of poverty alleviating projects established by The 2h Project. They also visited Angkor Wat, the Killing Fields and the Toul Sleng Genocide Museum where they learnt about the incredible history and social justice issues of this developing country. Read a full report here.
Alexander Avenue
Evanston South SA 5116
tel: (08) 8522 0666
CRICOS 00374C / 02709B | Copyright © 2016 Trinity College Gawler Inc | PRIVACY | DISCLAIMER


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Hotel or Hospital? Both.
East Avenue Medical Center known for being "Malinis at Mabango" Hospital and for catering almost all the charity patient here in Quezon City and the nearby area, Also known for being Center of Excellence and a premiere tertiary category DOH hospital, which also has a reputation for being the best general hospital in The Country.... :)
East Avenue Medical Center had opened its newly renovated private rooms loacated at 6th Floor North Wing last february 14, 2012. 6 north


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Get rid of your wheelbarrow.
Wheelbarrows are medieval, cumbersome, unwieldy, often heavy, monstrosities that should be banned from gardening circles and left to muscular, sweaty construction crews. Literally, although there is some evidence that the Greeks and Romans may have used something similar, the best evidence is that the wheelbarrow became popular during the dark Middle Ages of Western culture. As far as I am concerned it should have been left there in the Middle Ages.
I don't own a wheelbarrow anymore. I've had two in the past twenty years; a typical steel-bodied, one-wheel contraption, and a two-wheeled plastic cart. Both suffered from the same problems in my eyes; limited payload sizes, a strong tendency to tip over on uneven surfaces and with large loads, tiresome to drag back up the Flint Hills after emptying, and finally, they just took up too much storage space. I threw the last one out when it fell off its designated wall hanger and banged into my shin.
So rummage through your closet, grab an old bedsheet, and give it a try. You may not agree that it performs quite as good as I've advertised, but I believe you'll find it an improvement over your typical hardware store wheelbarrow offering. If nothing else, the memories evoked by the old sheet may keep a smile on your face as you trudge down and back from the debris pile.


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Take an hour to complete each of these tasks. It will be time well spent — and could save you time and money later on.
Set up online bill paying
With Mint Bills (www.mint.com/bills,) you can track and pay bills and receive reminders of upcoming due dates. (Your bank may offer the same service.) Mint Bills is free if you pay bills directly from a bank account. To link each bill, search for the provider and enter either the account number or the username and password that you use to log in to the account online.
Sell old gadgets
Brush the dust off old smartphones, tablets or other devices and head to Gazelle.com, uSell.com, NextWorth.com or Amazon Trade-In to get an instant quote. Back up your info to the cloud or save to a different device before popping the device in the mail. Delete personal data from your smartphone by erasing or removing the SD or SIM card, and restore the phone to its factory settings. For computers, "deauthorize" any digital rights management software, such as iTunes, and disassociate your Apple ID or other accounts. You'll also need software that erases data, such as Active@KillDisk, which you can download free.
Lower auto insurance premiums
Go to your state insurance department website (find links at www.naic.org) and find its car insurance buyer's guide. Pick the six insurers with the lowest rates for the example closest to your situation, and call the insurers to get price quotes for identical coverage. If you find a better rate, your current insurer may offer to beat the quote. You can also get help from an independent agent (go to www.trustedchoice.com.) Or compare rates from several insurers at InsuranceQuotes.com and Insurance.com.
Save on prescription drugs
Use your insurer's web tools to see how much money you can save by switching to generics or therapeutic equivalents that may cost a lot less under your insurance plan. (Check with your doctors before you switch.) Also find out if your insurance plan has a preferred pharmacy with lower out-of-pocket costs or if you can save money by using a mail-order pharmacy. Compare costs by pharmacy and get coupons at www.goodrx.com.
Audit your home's energy usage
Spot energy leaks and inefficiencies with the Home Energy Saver (homeenergysaver.lbl.gov/consumer.) Gather specific energy ratings for your heating, cooling and water-heating equipment from the labels or user manuals. Enter your zip code to receive estimates of energy costs and usage for typical and efficient homes in your area. Then follow the prompts to add more information. The resulting report will show you how much you spend on energy annually and how much you could save with recommended upgrades.
Send your questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.com . And for more on this and similar money topics, visit Kiplinger.com.


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A new mantra in the politics of climate change is reemerging, and it's not good. In the last few weeks, random elected officials began proclaiming "they aren't qualified" enough to know if climate change is man-made.
This morning Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) said: "I'm not qualified to debate the science over climate change."
Earlier this week when asked if he believes in the man-made influence on climate change Governor Rick Scott (R-FL) said: "I'm not a scientist."
Both can thank presidential hopeful Marco Rubio (R-FL) for starting this mantra back in 2009 when he said "I'm not a scientist. I'm not qualified to make that decision."
Although Senator Rubio has hedged a bit lately as he (or his pollsters) realize that to become president he's going to need a big coalition of supporters, most of whom will believe climate change is in part man-made.
These kinds of statements may just be clever attempts to avoid the question, but if they mean it, we should all have concerns about whether these people are really fit for office. After all, elected officials are decision makers who are asked to vote everyday on issues where they have no expertise. That is why they hold hearings with experts, why they hire experienced staff that does their research, and why they should take the time to understand a topic. I've never heard them say they weren't qualified to vote on sanctions for Iran's nuclear enrichment program because "I am not a physicist." Or I can't decide if the CDC should have more funding to research bird flu because "I am not a doctor." Or I can't weigh in on universal pre-K or the Common Core because "I don't have a doctorate in education."
The fact that key GOP leaders are deploying this dodge shows that the age of denial is over. The majority of voters realize that climate change is a real threat, and they want leaders to deal with it, not pretend it doesn't exist. But the tea party crowd hasn't received the memo yet, so GOP leaders who want to appeal to that base have to be coy and demur the science. And while these lawmakers may not be scientists, they can rely upon the work of the 97 percent of scientists who have concluded that climate change is caused by human activity.
Let's follow their logic in a practical application in your own life. If a doctor told you that you have cancer and you needed to seek treatment, would you tell the doctor you're not qualified to talk about treatment options and move on with your day? No, you would do research, maybe get a second opinion and educate yourself so you could seek the best treatment.
Our world needs leaders who take climate change as seriously as they would a diagnosis of cancer. It sounds dire -- because it is dire. Countries will disappear, poverty will rise, and the health of our children will suffer. We have a moral obligation to address climate change. Pleading ignorance is not a compelling leadership strategy. We need lawmakers who will inform themselves about the threats facing our communities and our nation. Speaker Boehner, Governor Scott, and Senator Rubio need to become qualified to have a discussion and then lead. That is what they were elected to do and we are running out of time to act.


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STEM club visit the Design Museum
On Monday 13th of March, we participated in STEM week by visiting the Design Museum.
We had a fabulous time attending the 'Lighting Workshop' and looking around the 'Designer, Maker, User' gallery.
Representatives from the Design Museum were really impressed by our girls who were very curious and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Here are some comments from the students themselves:
"I really enjoyed the trip to the Design Museum as we got to see lots of new and exciting designs and inventions" - Abigail 9T
"The best bit was learning about the designs of the light bulbs, how bulbs have changed and how very helpful they are today" - Izbel 7C
Click here to see the image gallery of this wonderful experience.


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Sunday hundreds gathered in Radcliff to honor those who fought back after 9/11 at the site of the new Kentucky September 11th Memorial in Radcliff.
725 S. Floyd Street
Louisville, KY 40203
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It's a fine line between obsession and determination
"All About Manos", is a story about two women who have been friends since high school. They are searching to find their "mojo" in the "City of Angels" and through their desire to find out who they are they end up together forging ahead to find the answer why? Take a journey of making the impossible possible with them: from obsession to material addiction, Things that you just have to have at any cost to fill your soul. All roads lead to "Vic Manos." Will they find the true meaning of life and love?


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Oak Kitchen Cabinets Paint
Oak Kitchen Cabinets Marvelous 8 Kitchen Design Lofts 3 Urban Ideas Snaidero.jpg Furniture Collection Oak Kitchen Cabinets Design
bakbilgi.com ~ Oak Kitchen Cabinets Paint You can quickly transform that space into something usable and comfortable. We take a closer look at it as well as some alternatives. Oak Kitchen Cabinets Paint is one way to turn a dingy unfinished room into additional space that's attractive and comfortable. It does this by applying their expertise in building science and system design to the Livingroom Ideas.
Posted by simply admin in Tuesday, January 30th, 2018. To discover just about all photos within Oak Kitchen Cabinets Paint photos gallery you need to abide by that hyperlink.
You a choices to incorporate the existing style of your home into the addition (so it looks like its part of the original home) or treat the addition with a totally different style but complementary to the existing style. Choosing to go half way between the two is a common failing and the final design will lack visual strength. Commit to one option and ensure every choice of finishes, construction type and detail reflected your style choice strongly.


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Vimeo is attempting to make iPhone, iPod touch, iPad and Android users very happy this week.
The New York-based streaming company has announced that it had developed an embeddable Universal Player with support for both HTML5 and Flash, bringing joy to users of mobile devices across the land.
When browsing a site with an embedded Vimeo video, the company's new Universal Player will detect the end-user's browser and device and deliver the appropriate wrapper – HTML5 for iOS devices and modern browsers; Flash mobile for Android phones (yikes, sorry, Android) – as well as defining the optimal video definition and playback codec.
In addition, the player sports a new "Watch Later" button, allowing users to tag interesting videos for later consumption. Sadly, it doesn't quite work like Instapaper's "Read Later" button, as these videos will just be sent to an album on your online Vimeo account instead of being saved locally to your device; however, Vimeo is releasing the new feature as part of its public API, so you never know what might be cooked up in the future.


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Gaming > Call of Cthulhu > Call/Cthulhu: Asylum Pack - Ebla Restored[6pk] Box
Call of Cthulhu LCG: Revelations - Ebla Restored Asylum Pack Box [6 Packs]
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Ebla Restored is the third foreboding asylum pack in the Revelations Cycle for the Call of Cthulhu Card Game. It continues the cycle's focus on the power and dangers of Eldritch knowledge, promoting exciting new synergies between dark Tomes and the Relic Hunters who seek them. As evil cultists, clandestine societies, and brave scientists all seek forgotten secrets in the ancient city of Ebla, the fate of the world hangs in the balance. Each asylum pack includes 60 cards (three copies each of 20 different cards).
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Runners are a funny lot, aren't they? We freak out if we're told we can't run. We have odd expectations of what is a "normal" distance to do (load to apply), what is "worthwhile" training, and what is "soft" or not worth bothering with.
I've had the pleasure of working with Kate in recent weeks with her hip and groin pain. It's been really interesting to go through this process again with a relatively new runner who has been completely bitten by the running bug, and has progressed to doing way too much way too soon, and is wearing some of the consequences of that. I wrote a piece about training loads and how to manage them a while ago which you can check out here.
She contacted me via facebook a few weeks ago, having already seen a chiro and another physio, an acupuncturist and a massage therapist and was really sick of spending money and not getting better. Her story was a fairly familiar one, and I probably annoyed her with my grinning and nodding as she was telling me her tale of woe.
She had been told she had an adductor tendinitis, after an Xray and ultrasound. Her hip pain had started only a couple of weeks earlier when she was running at local running track in preparation for the City to Bay fun run. This run was an easy 7km one, but she had run 34km the day before, and 10km the day before that. She had been feeling sluggish, feeling burnt out for a few weeks.
Kate had only started running regularly 6 months ago, after doing up to 13 classes per week at her local gym. She had developed sore shoulder, so started running as she had to modify so many arm exercises in her classes and it was getting frustrating. We hear this every day. She started running 1-2x per week, but within a month or so, she had been introduced to trail running as well. Before the two month mark, she'd joined in with some new running buddies to do a 34km trail run adventure – her biggest run until then was 18km!!
She loved running, loved discovering the trails, loved her new community of runners (because runners are awesome!). She was running 6 times per week and not doing any gym anymore. A classic case to too much, too soon, without mixing up her training.
She started training for the jewel in the Adelaide trail running calendar, the Yurrebilla Ultra Marathon, held each September, so was training 60-70km each week. As the months strung together, with only "hard" weeks in the training schedule, there started to be some niggles. Funny hands after running wearing a hydration pack. Achilles soreness. Calf and knee soreness. Quads sore and tight after a run. She was rotating her shoes well, but wasn't sure if perhaps they were the best ones for her – trying to do the right things to look after herself and allow herself to still run with her friends on these trails. And then that big running weekend.
When I first assessed her, Kate was frustrated. She'd been looking for help for 4 weeks. She wanted it fixed *now*. She had written to me "I'm just about in tears with it all .. feeling hopeless".
I'd let her know already that "Honestly, most running issues, especially tendon issues come from relative overload – doing more than your muscles or tendons are actually trained for. ie – it's usually a training/ loading error. So treatment is overwhelmingly geared to improving the load tolerance of the muscles/ tendons involved. Dry needling and muscle work can help reduce the short term pain and help you feel better, but we need you to get stronger. Rest doesn't cure it, but getting to a point you can manage without overload is really important.
So we'd need to look at your training and also at what's going on around it – back, glutes, groin, feet, abs. "
So, that's what we did. I looked at her standing and moving, stripping down to her underwear so I could see and palpate as she moved. I worked out that her hip was moving a bit oddly when she moved, indicating muscle tightness and weaknesses around the hip. She struggled to stand on one leg. The front of both hip joints felt swollen, indicating irritation. She stood with her tail tucked under, her knees locked back into hyper extension, her foot arches collapsed (worse on the dodgy right side), thrusting the ball of her hip joint forward against the joint capsule. Her hip flexors were really overworked and tender, her glutes were not strong enough, her sacroiliac joint was "cranky" with the funny forces around the joint from these muscles not coordinating well together and her left glutes were really tight and grabby, desperately trying to hold it all together. Again, this is a pretty typical pattern.
Treatment involved some work through her back and muscle release work at the back and front of her hips. I helped her stand with her hips in the middle of their sockets instead of well forward in the socket, how to stand over her feet, how to stand *on* her feet more squarely. We looked at her shoes, examining wear patterns and how she moved in them. I didn't look at her running at this point – there was so much that was sore and tight and weak that there was no point. We knew that what she was doing right now, wasn't working. I explained how this overload has happened. Her muscles and tendons hadn't had the time to strengthen up as she changed her exercise routine. The warning signs were there with her shifting aches and pains, and she had compensated everywhere she could, until she ran out of compensating options.
She was to work on some exercises designed to improve her coordination around her hips and pelvis – some bridging, mostly. She had some hip stretches, and she needed to learn to stand more often in a square position. She opted to wear more supportive shoes at work, and all of these things helped reduce the load through the front of her hip. Her pain settled. A week later she wasn't limping when she walked. She had no pain. And she actually did her exercises every day!!!! (This is sadly not typical. Those that do their exercises exactly as prescribed usually blow me away with how quickly they get better. It's almost as if doing what the expert you're paying to help you tells you to do, it might actually work. Huh, who'd have thunk it?)
She had returned to the gym, doing the core and stretching classes, and was walking. She was a little sore from her Pump class. In a good way 🙂
Watching her move was really heartening. Her hip was moving really well. Her left side was moving well again, without compensating. Her right hip was still a little bit stuck when she squat, but was improving. Her hips weren't tender through the front. She was standing better.
We increased the exercises, looking to build more strength, adding standing exercises, planned to do a bit more in the gym and talked about a longer term plan that includes the gym three times each week. And we planned the first walk / run – 4 lots of 5 minutes of running at an easy pace.
Unfortunately, I got a message a few days later. At the 17 minute mark of her running, Kate's hip twinged again. She stopped running and walked back home. It felt ok that day, but was sore the next day. I had a look at it, did some treatment to help it settle, reassured her that these "half step backwards" help us to know where the current "limit" to her tissue loading is, but that we don't want to run to the point of pain each time.
That week, she managed 18 minutes of running (6x 3 minutes on/off), as planned, with no pain. It was easier to run on grass than on the pavement. She felt slightly tight in the outside of the hip, but no pain at all in the front.
And she kept doing the exercises and stretches and going to the gym.
But her doctor wanted her to have another scan, just in case. She was advised to have another ultrasound for cortisone injections, mainly over the greater trocanter, as the scan suggested possible trochanteric bursitis or gluteal enthesopathy on right side.
I responded with "I wouldn't. You're improving well. Soft tissue irritation occurs when you apply more load than you can handle. You improve that situation by carefully improving your ability to handle load, so you can handle more. You get stronger, basically.
You had muscle imbalances as a result of movement patterns. That put too much load on a few places. The scan confirms what we know. You did too much running too quickly and neglected your strength work. You got sore. You got way better with a very little bit of treatment and some exercises. You're going to continue to gradually improve load tolerance and get stronger and be able to run longer and happier and faster.
You don't need a cortisone injection. It will slow healing. It will make your tendon weaker overall. It won't get you the outcome you want, which is to run sooner."
So far, so good. We're still building that load tolerance, and we haven't returned to continuous running just yet. But this change has happened in only the first 2 weeks. Her pain is gone and we have a plan to get her back to running with her friends, and back on the trails. She will compete in running events again, in fact we've planned one only 8 weeks after she first saw me.
You can read more about training loads and how to monitor it yourself here, and I have another piece about the sorts of things we need to do to ensure we can move well for the future. Finding the good moderation, whilst still reaching new goals.
Another running physio in the UK has written a similar piece here.
Give us a call if you think you need some guidance on this yourself on 8331 0552


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Her last romantic relationship had ended, and Paula Zlydaszyk was at a crossroads. At age 40, the Davie resident wanted a child.
"You know how some women say, 'My biological clock is ticking. I have to have a child.'?" she said. "For me, it was, I've lived my life and did all the crazy stuff. I was ready to settle down."
Not able to have a child biologically due to endometriosis, she researched a number of options before deciding to become a foster parent. Today, Zlydaszyk, 47, is the proud mother of 3-year-old Nya, who she adopted six months after welcoming her into her home.
"When she was placed in my arms, in my mind, she was going to be my forever child," she said.
Even today, this family of two may stand out at first glance. Nya is African American and Zlydaszyk is not. However, this hasn't hindered an unbreakable bond.
"Many agencies want the kids to stay with their ethnical background. I don't think they need to," she said. "... The biggest thing for me is thank God she has a godmother to do her hair because with an African American child, that is the most difficult task."
Carmen Hiraldo, foster care supervisor at Kids in Distress, made the call to Zlydaszyk.
"You see the unconditional love there," she said. "When I talked to her about Nya, her response was, 'I want to be a mommy to a baby that needs me. I don't care if the baby is blue.' "
Judging by Nya's infectious smile and playful nature, it's hard to believe she has been through so much. Since coming into Zlydaszyk's care at 3 months old, she has been to more than 300 doctor's appointments and had two hospital stays. She has battled pneumonia and been diagnosed with asthma. Zlydaszyk, who has worked full-time for 21 years at Home Depot, has been there every step of the way.


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Hi! It's Mike Fiore from Digital Romance, Inc with your weekly NEWSLETTER…
In today's issue I'm going to give you a little "trick" you can use in 5 minutes to know with 100% certainty if you should END your relationship or not (oooo… scary, huh? Scary because part of you doesn't really want to know, I bet. It's OK, I promise.)
- We've had quite a few folks ask what happened to the "Digital Romance Radio" podcast. The short answer is "we ended it but we're considering starting a brand-spanking NEW podcast sometime soon. I'm going to need your help with this so keep an eye on your email or make sure you 'Like' my Facebook Page."
- If you want to know if a man TRULY loves you or not, you MUST stop whatever you're doing and go take this incredibly-fast and incredibly-accurate quiz.
And now…
The "Driveway Test Method" Of Knowing If You Should END Your Relationship Or Not
Tiffany asks:
"Mike, I don't know what to do! I'm with my guy for over 2 years now and I love him but we fight all the time. I really want this to work. I want him to be my one and only forever. Things used to be so good and I think I hold on because I hope that maybe they can be that way again. And I don't want to be single again and I don't know if I can handle having another relationship FAIL. What do I do?"
Mike responds:
Hi Tiffany,
First off, thanks for your email and I'm sorry to hear about your pain. You didn't give me a ton of detail but I can positively feel the anguish coming off you and can tell this is something that has been buzzing around the back of your brain for quite a while as your dissatisfaction in this relationship has grown.
I'm going to tell you EXACTLY what to do to decide if you should END THIS or not in a second, but first let me just mention a few things that popped up for me in your email.
1. Just Because Your Relationship Might End Doesn't Mean You Are a "Failure"
I get this one a lot. The whole concept of a marriage or a relationship "failing" and the feelings of un-worth women in particular seem to feel when they can't "make" a relationship into what they want it to be (and think it "should" be.)
Actually, last week I popped by a good friend of mine's house late in the afternoon to talk about something similar. Jamie had just recently broken up with her boyfriend of almost 2 years after finally (finally) realizing that they simply weren't going to be able to love each other the way they needed to be loved. She was upset about the relationship "failing" sure, but I suspected that her real anguish had to do with something deeper, so I said this:
"Jamie, you're an incredibly intelligent and driven woman and you're used to living in a world where if you set your mind to something and 'do the work' you'll get what you want. But in this case that didn't happen because no matter how much of the work you do you can never make another person into someone they're not. So you failed. You failed to do an impossible thing just like millions and millions of others have failed to do the same impossible thing over the centuries. But just because you failed doesn't mean that *you* are a failure any more than 'failing' to make a basketball shot makes you a 'failure' or failing to beat a video game level makes you a 'failure."
And then I gave her a big hug. I want to give you a hug now too, but the facts of physics and the internet prevent it so let's just pretend we're hugging for a second all as a group.
OK! Done!
The point, Tiffany is that staying in a relationship because you don't want to feel like a failure is a path to misery and a punishment you don't need or deserve. There's incredible bravery in admitting you made some wrong choices and taking the steps you need to change things.
2. "Things Used to Be So Good" Is Not a Reason to Continue a Relationship
Man, I know this one well. I've talked about my first (and terrible) marriage here before, but I'll tell you right now that the number one reason I stuck around as long as I did in that (besides the fact that my self esteem had been absolutely destroyed and I thought I didn't "deserve" any better) was the obnoxious and sickening hope that things could go back to the way they "used to be."
There's a thing in investing called the "Sunk Cost Phallacy" that you may have heard of before.
Here's how it works:
- Jimmy takes $100 and invests it in METACORP stock.
- METACORP stock takes a DIVE and suddenly Jimmy's $100 is worth only $50.
- Instead of taking his $50 out of METACORP, Jimmy leaves his money there or EVEN ADDS MORE MONEY IN because he's still attached to the $100 he had (which he no longer has. He only has $50 now — $50 he probably wouldn't invest in METACORP if he didn't already have the money in there because METACORP is showing day after day that it's a dog of a stock.)
The reason Jimmy does this is because he emotionally can't handle the idea of having made a "bad" investment and as long as he doesn't pull his money out of METACORP he can still pretend that it's going to turn around and make him "Rich" some day (even though it's not going to because that, like, never happens.)
Just to make this really clear, in this case YOU are Jimmy, the $100 is your time and love and METACORP is your relationship.
OK, Now That That's Out Of the Way Here's "The Driveway Test Method"
So, should you stay in your relationship or should you leave?
I can't (and won't) actually make that decision for you, but I CAN give you a very simple test to find out for yourself.
I call it "The Driveway Test" and this is how it works:
1. Go somewhere.
It doesn't really matter where you go. It can be work, the store, school, whatever. The key is that you go somewhere WITHOUT your partner and (and this is important) you should time your going somewhere so your partner will get home BEFORE you do.
2. While you're out, do everything you can NOT to think about your partner.
Put him out of your mind. Pretend as much as you can that he doesn't exist in your life. (I mean, don't CHEAT on him or anything but don't spend all your time thinking about him.) As much as you can, be YOU outside of what your relationship has made you.
3. Come home, but don't go inside right away.
Instead, sit in the driveway (or the garage or whatever). Just sit there for a moment. Close your eyes and breathe. Really pay attention to the feelings in your chest. Pay attention to how tense your jaw is. Pay attention to the thoughts and feelings that pop up for you as you imagine yourself getting out of the car, going up to the door, letting yourself in.
What do you feel?
Do you feel excitement at the idea of seeing your man? Do you feel yourself yearning to be wrapped in his arms?
Do you feel a smile pulling across your face as you think of the sight of him, the feel of him, the smell of him? Do you feel happy that you're coming home to this man?
Do you feel something…
Not as good.
Do you feel your fingers going white on the steering wheel because you know he's going to criticize you the moment you come in the door?
Do you feel nausea in your chest because you're afraid of saying or doing the "wrong" thing?
Do you feel contempt for him… an urge to lash out at him… to criticize him… to punish him for not being the man you want him to be?
Do you feel your jaw clench and your brow furrow? Do you feel like spending time with our partner isn't so much an adventure as a goddamned prison?
Got it?
Now, once you've done that, write it down in a little journal. If you want you can even use a little scoring system; say a scale of 1 – 5 with 5 being "YES! I GET TO SEE MY MAN AND HE IS AWESOME AND THIS WILL BE STRESS FREE AND WONDERFUL!" and 1 being "Dear God, I know I should go in there but I am filled with dread and just do not want to."
Now, obviously we're all going to have GREAT days with our partners and AWFUL days with our partners…
But if you do the driveway test for a few weeks or a few months (or even just every once in awhile over the course of a few months) and again and again you feel DREAD and ANXIETY at the idea of spending time with the man you "Love"…
Well, then that's a pretty damned good sign that it's time either for things to MASSIVELY change or for you to find your way out the door.
Michael Fiore
Founder, Digital Romance, Inc