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I saw a post that was asking about compiling all the bastard gore's into one thing so im posting this for them. here is it, the complete set of Bastard sys admin from Michigan stories as of now.
Written entirely by: gore.
8:00 AM: Well today is my first day at my new job, the Admin Im taking the place for welcomes me and warns me that the lusers get cranky when they dont get what they want This should be fun.
I check bandwidth usage as the old system admin is leaving 50%!!!!!! Thats not tolerable!! I unplug the accounting womans connection that seems to think she can download Coyote Ugly on MY time Wow is she in for a surprise.
I let it reach 99% and boom, unplugged. The fone rings and I answer nicely saying Hello? Its her, SCREAMING at me that she was trying to do some work on the network and her connection went. Screaming at me Shell pay for this. I ask her for her account name and she gives it to me. I log in and see that she has all her personal info in her account. I send her boss a lovely e-mail from her saying how much of an ******* he is and how she deserves a raise from his pig faced ass. I bet shes going to love me.
I find her fone number and address and social security number and tell her to call me back in a minute, Im working on the problem now (mainly her).
I finish the e-mail, send it, and then call her fone company to tell them Ill be out of town for a few months and to have the service shut off, they ask for some personal information which I give them and tell me to have a good trip. (Trust me I am). Then I call her electric company and do the same, (wow is she going to love coming home to a fridge full of decaying food and a freezer full of thawed goods and no fone to bitch about it on).
I then notify the post office that me, her husband will be leaving the country for a few months and to please have our mail forwarded to South Africa.
I check her e-mail and see the boss has replied to her e-mail I mark it as unread and giggle to myself knowing she just got fired. I hang up and she calls back immediately, how annoying can you possibly be? I tell her everything is fixed after I plug her back into the network and within one minute she calls back about the e-mail, I tell her she just learned the hard way not to yell at me and hang up. What does she care? Shes going to have a bigger problem when she gets home.
11:00AM: I leave for lunch and follow MRS. I cant remember not to scream at people home and wait .5 minutes later I hear a scream and some random bad words and she tries calling the fone company to tell them her fone isnt working .I dont quit get why but maybe she had an idea that it would work so she could call and tell them its broken.
Wow, she sure isnt happy; Im still outside her house listening to her. She goes to the neighbors house to use there fone but there not home. There at work because they have a job still, THEY KNOW HOW TO TREAT A SYSTEM ADMIN!! As I watch her walk outside, I notice she crawls into the neighbors window to use the fone Hmmmm, cant have that now can we? I pick up my cell fone and call the police to report a break in and within 5 minutes I watch them pull up and she shits herself. After they arrest her she pays bond and gets out of jail. Her last paycheck will be mailed to her but remember, shes learning the hard way, so its actually on Its way to south Africa Its sure fun being the Bastard system Admin from Michigan.
4:00 PM: I return from lunch in a better mood and plug the fone back in, of course it has to ring immediately so I answer Hello McDonalds how may I help you?
The luser on the other end stutters and says Im sorry I have the wrong number and hangs up. I think Im earning a raise!
I check out payroll and edit my profile by one dollar, hmm first day raises are good, I think Im gunna like working here.
Written entirely by: gore.
8:00 AM: Well Im on my way to work; I just got cut off by one of my co workers, bet hes going to have a great day today.
8:10 AM: Well Im in my chair now, I unhooked the fone, it doesnt ring as much that way. I saw the guy that cut me off as I was entering the building, I got his username and at the moment Im still deciding what to do exactly, he has a huge project do for the boss at 9:00 AM, but then again he really could use some time off and take a concepts of a turn signal and basic driving skills class. I plug the fone back in, I want to be sure to take his call he is about to make soon. I unplug him from the network, and like clockwork the fone rings, it is him saying he lost his internet connection and I say Im working on it and get back to signing him up fir a driving class with the credit card he dropped into my hand. After posting his numbers online I log into his account and find that 60 MB file he has been working on for 7 months .hmmmm, I think its time to trim it down a little bit, I write a simple script and every time he types a character it deletes a random sentence, I make sure and delete his back ups and then I plug him back into the network. He calls and says Its about damn time you moron I have a project to work on oh is he ever going to pay! I write another script and put it in his account, as soon as he opens that project and starts typing, after he types 200 words it will launch del *.* in his department and an e-mail will be sent from him to everyone saying This is for breathing my air today I think the departments going to just love him.
10:00 AM: Well guess who hit 200 words today! The fone is ringing off the hook ..I bet it is, I unplugged it and went to lunch.
2:00 PM: I get back from lunch and realize the guy that cut me off this morning wasnt at his desk, I saw his car when I came back though, I decide to have more fun and find the bottle of krazy glue I bought this morning after he cut me off and a huge piece of project paper, the cardboard kind that kids do school projects on. I take the krazy glue thats conveniently shaped like a pen and write Im for abortion and animal abuse on his front and back windshields on his car in the glue. Then I grab the sheet paper and it fits all the way across his windshields, I plop it in there and push it into the glue amazing how that stuff fits on a Viper windshield perfectly! I walk back in and see him leaving crying, he got fired and his ass kicked by his fellow employees, something about him deleting everyones work today. I cant miss this! Hes leaving right now! I watch as he realizes the paper on his car. He takes the bait and just pulls it off and realizes that the glue and paper that stuck to it now spell out nice happy things .He pissed himself!!! Score!!!! I still have his credit card too! I look up his address on it and find where he lives and his fone number.
3:00PM: Well I just finished signing him up for Heroin Aficionado I got a 10% discount because I made sure to click the No dont wrap it in black plastic, Im proud of who I am Bet the neighbors are going to be talking now.
3:30 PM: Its raining outside!!!!!! I leave work early and drive to Mr. I deleted every things house. He parked outside and I see him inside weeping, I grab the can of paint thinner I bought on the way here and paint his whole car in it. Muahahaha, 30 minutes later I drive past his house again after it began raining harder, the whole car is a giant rust ball with tires!!!!! Im so awesome!! **** the way he drove today I just saved lives! I dont think Im done yet though, I hook in my line mans handset into his fone line after stripping it and call Ireland and leave it on for a while. Im so funny sometimes. I drive back to the office for a minute, I forgot my laptop. I walk in and realize the boss is fallowing me, I turn around and he asks me about everything that was deleted, I tell him if people read and followed the back up instructions I e-mailed every ones work will be fine. I grab my laptop and leave. Im going home for the night.
Written entirely by: gore.
8:00 AM: Damn Im tired!! I need to stop at the store on the way home and get coffee! Im just pulling in the parking lot at work. Amazing, 3rd day and so far one person has been fired each day for pissing me off, I think the other lusers are learning to leave me alone, I walk in and go straight to the employee lounge and take the coffee machine, I think they would rather deal with no coffee than ME with no coffee.
8:30 AM: Well the coffee is done, the people here use 3 scoops in the machine, I just used 7, I think this should do for now. The fone just rang. Oh goody, Ive been here 30 minutes and already a problem! I answer and of course its someone asking for more free space. What do I look like a system admin or something? I tell them if they buy me lunch ill tell them a secret command that gives them free space, they agree and I wait till lunch.
10:00 AM: I leave for lunch with luser and spend all his money at a restaurant, as were driving back he asks me about the command, I tell him, whenever he needs more free space, just type in del *.* and he will get a bunch, him having no idea what that is says ok and thanks me. I get back to my office and realize I forgot to turn off the battery charge I have hooked onto my doorknob, I step over 3 lusers to get inside, they really should leave me alone.
1:00 PM: the fone is ringing AGAIN!! Another luser asks why they cant check there e-mail, instead of saying because I did for you already and replied to all of them I say Well today is Wednesday, Its the middle of the week so the sun is higher up and so its warmer outside and it makes the net slow down and to try checking there mail tomorrow After I hang up I realize a luser has somehow gotten into my office and listened to the hole thing I just said, they look at me in horror and ask Isnt there anything we can do about this????? I answer, yes there is, take the case off your computer while its still on and pull out the ram card, then after that put a magnet over the hard disk, that way the extra heat is moved around better. They look at me and smile and say ok, Ill do that right now. This I gotta see! I follow closely behind them and they actually do it!! The boss walks by and asks what the hell is going on and luckily I made a tape recording earlier of me saying NO DONT DO THAT YOULL RUIN IT!!!!!!!!!! I tell the boss I think the luser went insane; the luser of course tries to say I told him to do it and I whip out the recorder and play it. The luser looks at me like a deer in headlights. The boss tells the luser he wont be receiving his raise next month because hes paying for the computer to be fixed.
2:00 PM: Im bored, after killing every person online in Unreal Tournament and Resident Evil, I decide to have fun, I write a small script that runs around the network and randomly deletes accounts of people typing my name into an e-mail with the words ******* or dickhead before or after.
2:05 PM: Well that didnt take long, 4 lusers called to say they cant log into the network, I ask them for there usernames and say Ill work on it. I check out the accounts from back ups and make sure I grab some personal info form each one, after deleting them from the back ups I look up to see one of them looking at me and before I can even say knock on the door next time, they decide to yell HEY ******* I CANT LOGIN LEARN HOW TO DO YOUR JOB Oh, thats a death sentence. I say in a nice voice yes sir, Im working on it now, I hit the switch to power up the deadly doorknob and ask them to come back later, they reach for it and I think the hole building flickered as he lit up like a Christmas tree. I hit the switch back off knowing people will be in soon to see what happened. Sure enough the boss runs in and asks me what happened and I say well I was working on something and he came in and must have grabbed a loose wire or something. The police come and take the body, they dont seem to have a sense of humor like mine as Im blaring and singing along to gimmie gimmie shock treatment by the Ramones. Oh well.
4:00 PM: As Im getting ready to leave the boss says Im doing great but he wants to hire a helper for me so I can actually have a vacation sometime. What? Me? A vacation? Ha-ha! Yea right, Im the bastard system admin from Michigan!
Will the bastard system admin from Michigan get a helper? Tune in next time readers to see how this turns out for our hackin hero!
Written entirely by: gore.
5:00 AM: Well Im getting up early today; I have work to get done before other start showing up. I pat the box of Free BSD install CDs on the head and get ready.
5:20 AM: I pull into the empty parking lot and go in the building, no one is here and I get ready for my task. I insert the install disks and boot the machines up, I start installing on one machine and move on to the next, this should be one entertaining day!
7:30 AM: I just finished the install of BSD on the machines, and a whole pot of coffee (hey its early) Im going to my office now; people are going to be showing up soon.
8:00AM: Well, people are showing up now, I just cant wait!! Of course none of them have any UNIX skills at all and I didnt back up any of there work so I think this was a nice job security thing for me.
8:01 AM: The fone just rang, I can only imagine what they want on the other end, I answer and someone on the other end says I think I have a virus on my computer!! Help me!! I say A Virus? Oh no! How do you know its a virus? Well she says, I turned on my computer, and all this text started scrolling down really fast, and then after all that I think its a Log in virus, thats what it says on my screen. I dont even bother hitting the mute button as I piss myself laughing at her, I say Have you even tried logging on? and of course she hasnt, that would make to much sense to do at a log in prompt now wouldnt it? She tries and says uh-oh I think I have another virus on here, I ask what the hell shes talking about and she says All thats on my screen is a C two dots and a bent line Ok this is way worse than I had planned for, I tell her to leave her office at once and buy a book called UNIX for morons and hang up.
9:00AM: I leave for lunch. (Hey Ive been here for about 4 hours!) I notice on my way out some Woman is walking into the building with a UNIX for dummies book Wow! She actually is trying! I put her on my list of people to give a second chance list, just because shes the only one doesnt mean that Im a bad guy, Im just not into helping people that dont need it.
2:00PM: I come back from lunch and I have about 57 e-mails from lusers (Maybe that woman I told to get a UNIX book learned too much .) well, they all say My computer has a virus. I check our learning friends computer, oh, we just can not have this 45 % usage now can we? Shes downloading a song from Sum41 Oh hell no! No fake want to be punk on MY network! I log her off and cancel the download, the fone rings but well, I dont really care so I unplug it and start a download for her account, I think she is gunna like the Dead Kennedys!
2:30PM: Well, my worst fear has come true, one of the damn lusers has learned how to reboot the system and select Windows 95 from the boot loader. Damn thing ran around and showed everyone! I knew I shouldnt have trusted them! I check usage and see that it is skyrocketing up to about 68% now that is just not gunna work for me, I start unplugging connections and switching them around, The manager of human resources tries to threaten me with my salary if I dont hurry up and get his connection working gain so he can finish his work I do a quick check while he is standing there and see that he was downloading Bestiality boys part 5 I remind him that downloading gross porn is not aloud and e-mail the evidence to his boss and ask him if there was anything else he needed (besides a new job now) He pisses his pants and leaves Well tries to, I hit the switch on the death knob and he starts to spark. Hell I cant even sing gimmie gimmie shock treatment by the Ramones this time, the cops remembered it form last time! But I have another ***** trick to play, I quickly pop in Shock the Monkey by Coal Chamber and Ozzy, the cops hate it and I smile. The boss comes in after they leave with his body and asks me what happened, I say I dont really know, it was all so shocking to me and he looks at me like Im some kind of morbid *******, he asks me if Ive thought about having a helper and I say no. Well he says, I think Im going to hire him for your sake (Meaning he wants a damn witness in here the next time an employee is killed) I dont even fight it, I just sit back down and continue my important work, I log into the bosses account and e-mail a few hundred customers telling them how stupid and annoying they are and that I hope they never buy another product from us again (hey I have to keep him on his toes, he would get bored) A few minutes later I notice some replies, oh this is funny, one has cancelled our service and a few others have said they printed it for the news papers. I laugh and mark them as unread, the fone rings after I plug it back in (huge surprise there) Its the boss almost in tears saying he doesnt know how this happened but he thinks someone hacked his account, I say yea that must be it He says he wants me to secure the network more I tell him it will cost him at least double salary and he wont be able to afford that damn helper he wants in here. He says ok and I say Im gunna need a few extra things from him and tell him to order some firewalls for the server and the workstations and he agrees and I hang up. Wow this is working out great for me! I want to celebrate! I write a quick script so that every time someone logs in someone else is logged out.
3:00 PM: Well the fone is ringing off the hook, users keep getting logged out, I laugh and tell them its because of technical problems with the server and to just stay logged out for a bit (that should teach them to keep hogging up resources) I cant stop laughing, not only are the lusers annoyed but they arent using hardly any CPU!
4:00PM: The hell with this Im going home for the day, before I go I notify everyone that in 12 seconds there will be a reboot, after 10 I reboot and then get ready to leave, of course as Im leaving the fone rings and so I answer it. Its a luser pissed that I didnt give enough time for her to save the huge document she was working on and she wants me to somehow make it magically appear, I tell her to type exactly as I say in note pad and she creates a batch file that screws the MBR into hell and she does thinking itll fix that problem, she opens it and says My screen flashed and that was it I tell her to reboot the machine and she says ok. I hurry up and leave and laugh to myself as I think how when she reboots the computer is going to be a black screen saying Im an idiot, spank me and then shuts down, I can only imagine how tomorrow will be, but for now Im going home to watch some horror movies. Before I even get out of the building the boss runs up behind me screaming bloody murder, the girl I just helped rebooted but saved the file on disk and tried to show her co-workers what happened to her system Youd think people would learn when something screws YOUR system dont put it on another. But not these lusers, they seem to be extra dumb. I tell the boss Its the end of my shift and that the problem can be solved by reinstalling Windows, he looks at me blankly as if he wants to understand that so I say ok fine but you owe me huge. I insert one of the off site back ups I was carrying and start and reinstall every system, I remind the boss Im not working for free and since this is overtime its double time, so of course Im going slow as possible, it only takes me 4 hours to reinstall, not bad but now Im tired as hell, I tell the boss that since no one backed up there work yesterday they all have to redo everything they had on there I think hes crying! I leave and go home, tomorrow should be fun.
Written entirely by: gore.
In this edition, will our hacking hero get a helper? Will he switch to decaf and commit mass murder? Will he kill every process to play video games?
8:00 AM: Ok Im already mad, I know today is going to go badly because I have to reinstall everything for these damn lusers. I get to the office and the boss is waiting for me, somehow thats rarely a good sign. I told you to get here early he says, I look at the clock and tell him if I could Id still be in bed for at least another 5 hours and he laughs thinking Im joking. Ok, lets get this done I say. I go to the software closet and pull out the Windows NT and Windows 95 boxes and grab the install CDs for each, thankfully a smarter decision made by the managers was to have each machine CD bootable The boss asks me if he can help, instead of saying yes put me in your will and die I say Sure, open up the CD drives on all the systems and stick these in, then close them and reboot the machine, I finish grabbing boxes and go join him and we have every machine loaded and rebooted in about 25 minutes, I tell the boss to select the format and install option and press enter and we get to work. After we finish this up I realize I have an audience of the entire department watching me and asking whats going to happen to all there work theyve done thus far, I tell them if they did back ups like I said it will be installed back onto the machine soon and if they didnt its gone, one of them replies with so you morons cant even do back ups for us? How stupid are you people? oh huge mistake, I never thought id ever have the taste of powdered tooth enamel in my mouth and turn and ask for her user name, she gives it to me and I say as soon as we get done ill be sure to give her special treatment (never said she would like it) Youd think that 4 degrees in science would give her some kind of brain power but I guess the ability to create something with more than one ass has caused her to grow one on her shoulders. I remind the boss that today my big comfy chair will be coming and Ill need a few extra minutes alone to test it out he looks at me blankly and then says ok remembering the others that got on my nerves. Finally the systems are restored, the lusers flock in like zombies to a cow brain factory and get logged in, of course one has to ask about there work again and I remind him if he did his damn back ups he will be fine. I hurry up and leave and get to my office, my chair is waiting for me and Im waiting for it. I sit down and erase all the back ups of everyones work and the fone rings, oh hell, already? I answer the fone and its a luser asking about back ups, I tell him I checked for them when I came in and there werent any and say next time when I tell you to do back ups make sure you actually do it.
10:00AM: Man Im bored, I remember I have the Mrs. I cant shut my damn mouth for 5 seconds account name and decide to play, I look her up and see shes e-mailing her husband, on MY damn network! Thats going to stop! I pull the plug on her connection and the fone rings almost immediately, I unplug it and log into her account and finish the e-mail to her husband:
From: email@example.com
To: firstname.lastname@example.com
Subject: We need to talk
Dear Bob,
I know things have been going good lately, but I cant let this go any longer, Ive been cheating on you with another woman for about 6 months now and we are in love, I realized you just dont have what I was looking for in anything and Im leaving you.
After quickly sending it I go to a few websites and download some very tasteless porn on her account and log off and plug her back in, after plugging the fone also back in it rings and I answer, its her of course saying she was trying to work on a spreadsheet and it wouldnt let her check for her mail from the boss (youd think she could at least lie better) I tell her to try now and she says oh ok, its working and I hang up.
11:00 AM: I leave for lunch and as Im leaving a luser runs up to me saying there machine has frozen and they have no idea why, I walk over and see a frozen screen with AIM, MSN, Yahoo, and 5 browsers open and a movie being downloading Well thats certainly odd, you have a whole 64 Megs of ram and your computer froze and all you had open was this? Wow, well Im on my lunch hour or 4 so just hit the power off and on about 25 times, that should clear up the memory and fix it, they say ok and I walk away. I dont leave yet though, I hide a few feet from his desk and listen, and this is going to be great! I hear him counting, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, BOOM! Ha-ha! That took care of that, I run back to my desk to grab my tape of me saying No dont do that youll screw it up! I love that tape, of course youll remember it from other episodes to. I walk past and the luser is in tears saying I dont know what happened again the boss walks buy and asks what happened, the luser starts to say He told me to turn it on and off a few times to clear memory and I cut him off and say no I didnt I tried to tell you not to and play the tape, watching a luser **** themselves is a time honored tradition with bastard system Admins and it still gets me laughing every time. I leave for lunch and go visit a friend working at another company, we chat for a few hours and talk about what we want to do this weekend.
4:00 PM: I get back to work and the luser is sitting at there desk packing, wow this could actually get fun, as Im walking passed him I hear You bastard! I turn around and they look as if they can see my eyes turn black. I walk back out in the parking lot, grab the can of paint thinner, and pour it on his 1946 classic ford, and walk back in, I wait a few minutes and decide to play a game while I wait, a few hours pass and I go for a walk and realize the luser hasnt left yet, I look outside and see that his car looks like it was supposed to come in the rust color and smile, I go back to my chair and listen. I hear the scream all the way in here, I walk outside and the luser is face down almost dying, I laugh and walk away, he asked for it. I walk back inside and the boss is waiting for me, he says he still wants to hire someone to help me out in the labs and I say Tell you what, if I get to pick the person myself, Ill do it he seems to have a sigh of relief not realizing that Ill pick someone like me and he wont have that witness he wants. I go back into my lab and check usage, 79% and rising, oh its kill time now, I look for the lusers using the most bandwidth. Aha! firstname.lastname@example.com decided he would download Windows datacenter server on MY network, Im not eve going to unplug this one, I send him a few unhappy packets and his machine reboots, then I log into his account and see hes been doing this for a while, he has almost ever version of Windows created and enough mp3s to listen to music for a day, I take a trip down to his machine and I see he tried giving himself more space and somehow succeeded and so I switch the HD in his machine with a 2 GB drive running windows 95 and set up his NIC so it uses the 10MB option instead of the 100MB option, then I realize hes coming back down the hallway so I leave and watch, when he logs back in he cant find his downloaded stuff and doesnt know what happened and sits there for a minute and then I walk away. Im getting bored so I write a small script and release it on our warez guy, every time he tries to connect to the internet his computer now restarts in fdisk. I think he will like it. Well Im getting bored again, I go install a new firewall on all the luser computers and set it to not allow traffic from a site with the following letters, after typing the whole alphabet I walk away and install a port blocker and some new software on the computers. I stroll past accounting and decide to have some fun, I change the addresses for very employee to that of another employee and have the bosses sent to my house in my name, those damn glitches!
8:00 PM: Well, my 12 hour day is over, so Im leaving, just as Im about to go, I sneak some stay awakes into the coffee machine, tomorrow will definitely be more fun watching lusers bounce around like balls.
Coming in the next episode or two: The bastard system admin from Michigan gets a helper! And trains him!
Written entirely by: gore.
Your process was killed so I could play Tron, thats right; Im the Bastard sys Admin from Michigan.
8:00 AM: Well I sure have enjoyed my vacation, the company had a huge problem with the network so I had a vacation as they had another company come in and lay new cables in the building. Hmm, I cant help but wonder what ******* would do something like that to a place? He he, theyll never figure out there was nothing wrong and that I just edited the amount of bandwidth aloud on the servers, oh well, my boss should have given me a raise instead of a helper.
8:30 AM: I walk in and the boss reminds me Im late. I remind him I dont care and that I am tired and he seems to understand. I walk in and see some weird looking guy sitting in a chair placed next to mine. Before I even walk in I look at the boss, what in the hell is that?
He says its my assistant, I almost smacked him, but then again we cant judge everyone by looks alone, hell bill gates has power doesnt he? I walk in and sit down at my desk and realize hes actually on the phone talking to a user Im disappointed already wait, whats this? A REAL SYS ADMINS DO IT IN WINDOWS 95 SHIRT?????????????
My jaw lands nicely in my lap and I look at him in disgust, how dare you call your self a sys admin! While he turns to take ANOTHER call from a user I see my chance and run with it, I pull out my lighter and start his shirt on fire and smile.
He drops the phone and jumps up screaming, looks like he just got the flaming screen of death. Youd think hed be used to things like that.
Im starting to doubt that Ill be getting along with him for much longer, he looks at me like its my fault he cant pick an OS with class, I mean come one Windows 95 was a joke wasnt it? (Yes we all hope and pray it was but deep down we know the true horror that people actually thought it was an OS) I look up and see him very angry looking, I ask him what hes looking at me like that about and he says it was very rude of me to do that and whats worse I was taking a call I think I need to train him quick I cant take this damn lusers are people too bullshit.
I stand up and give him the look of death and he shuts up and sits down, I tell him while hes in MY lab, Im HIS boss.
Me: what in the hell are you thinking man, no real sys admin uses 95!
Him: but I like it and I can just point at the things I want to use and I can see them on my screen in color.
Me: Im going to murder you in your sleep.
10:00 AM: Im taking lunch early because well Im bored and Im going to go pick something up for the lab actually just for me but who cares? I leave and run home and grab a couple of Linux and Free BSD boxes I had in my house with nothing to do, my OC-256 connection hasnt seemed to lag and so I dont need the extra firewalls. (These boxes are Pentiums running at about 300MHz, nothing big just something to have fun on with a *NIX distro) I come back to the office and walk in; he is on the phone again! I set down the cart I used to carry the PCs in with me and look at him. He looks up and hangs up the phone; he asks me what those things are. I tell him there magical annoyance killer and he looks scared, I like that.
I start to hook up the PCs and turn them on, I dont have these things start up in GUI mode and he almost faints, ugh hes such an end user. I set them all up and begin plugging them into the network.
12:00 PM: Look Im actually going to lunch at a regular time today, for once. I have to, I have work I need to get done today, I eat lunch and run back to the lab, I see he brought his lunch with him and hes eating an apple. What the hell is this? No coffee, no sugared drinks, water and an apple, I soon learn again the funny taste of powdered tooth enamel in my mouth. Oh well, on to the work, I make sure every PC is hooked into the network, then I boot up and thanks to DJCP it grabs me an IP and Im on, muahahahahahaha.
I check out the network and see someone is checking there mail, I see there mailing the boss to say how much they like the new admin way better than the bastard old one, ok now that is a death wish. I log her out of her account and tell MR nice guy to get the hell away from the phone Im taking the next one. Of course it rings at once, I answer Hello?
Its Mrs. I hate the bastard saying her connection is down and shes trying to get work done, I say Well Im doing a few things on the network too and hooking up new PCs to it so wait a few minutes and it should be up again soon, I wouldnt want to seem like a mean bastard or nothing its always good to keep them on there toes not sure if you read there mail there mind or guessed, he he.
I check out whos on and see my boss using a lot of bandwidth downloading something to his Images folder. Hmm this could be useful at another time so I make sure I back up everything onto a ZIP disk. I didnt know my boss was into beastiality but I bet his wife would love to hear about it, and the CEO, oh yea, he would love me then. Well, now that I backed that up and put it on a zip disk I guess its back to the mailer problem, hmmmm, I think ill edit this mail, I cut her off as she was about to hit send so now I have a good excuse to say its already sent, I take out everything and delete the mail but since Im logged in as her on the Linux box its easy to make the problem a positive, hehe.
[email@example.com] => mail s Hello Sir boss@company
Hi, this is your secretary and I just wanted to say that I cant stand that new system admin, he was very rude, the old Bastard is so much better and he knows what he is talking about, please fire the new guy.
Well, now that Im done with this time to log out and plug her back in.
I plug her connection back in and call her to say her connection should be fine now, she thanks me and hangs up.
She calls back a minute later to ask if her mail had been sent and I say yes it sent right before the network was down. She says ok with a ha-ha I got you fired attitude, I giggle thinking no you got me a raise. We hang up and I walk out into the lab to check on things, I see someone sitting at the main computer in the lab with a big grin, they look up and see me and **** themselves and I look at the screen to see downloading bigpornmovie.mpeg and also trying to access root account I look at him with an evil grin and walk away, When I get to my desk I sit down, see who he is and then log him out, he doesnt bother calling knowing damn well what happened but has no idea whats about to happen. What he doesnt know is that his box is Windows 98 SE and that im logged in it right now, I write up a quick bath file and add it to start up, I edit everything, if certain phrases are used near a sentence with my name in it, his HD is formatted, every time he send an e-mail now one also goes to my e-mail address and the Boss also gets one, and every time he tries to look at a website his computer crashes. I think he will learn now.
2:00 PM: Well, guess who sent an e-mail to his friends about how much of an ******* me and the boss are? Guess who also just got fired. I see him in the parking lot and decide to have some fun. I hot the magical switch of death I have on my desk and pick a space in the parking lot, I pick his car and super soakers on top of the building filled with paint remover and salt water (Two guns) begin blasting his car, the mixture hits at just the right angle so while one part of the car is getting paint remover sprayed at it, a few seconds of delay allow for a lovely paint peeling effect as the salt water starts spraying the rest. I look out and see him piss himself in shock as he sees his car melt away. Could this get anymore fun??? I see the lil helper monkey walk in and ask what Im doing. I tell him to shut up and go check on the lusers and he does, his shirt he borrowed says Im an idiot because I think Im a sys admin and cant use Linux. Fits him well, after a lil laughing I look outside to see the I want root access **** head crying, well my work here is done, I think ill go play some more.
3:00 PM: Well before I go home I guess I should make something for myself to do tomorrow, I walk around and give every Windows box on the network a virus, nothing bad just enough to screw every .doc file on the network, hey Im bored ok?
I start playing the Sex Pistols and realize everyone is looking at me like I have a nipple on my forehead and I ask what? No one says a thing they all just walk away. Oh well, Im going home for the night, the Boss follows me and asks about what I think of the new guy, I say hes an idiot and has no right being called a system admin and that I want him fired, I remind him of his lil images folder and he almost shits himself. I realize that the last time I was here I put stay awake pills into the coffee and forgot, no wonder the boss has been all jittery today and then the co workers are all bouncing around, this is kind of fun! The boss asks about the images folder and I say oh dont worry I made a lot of copies, some on disk some online and some on an FTP I set up and he almost cries, I say to him that I will be getting a raise and I will also be picking the next sys admin he thinks should be my helper or they will be sent to the news papers. He agrees and says I can do whatever I want, ahh finally. I cant believe it took so long for him to see I own. I walk out the door and start my car up and start driving home, tomorrow will be a lot more fun.
Coming in the next episode:
What could possibly be a helper for someone so mean? Find out next time when our hackin hero gets more money per hour and a new helper.
Written entirely by: gore.
You thought rm -rf / on your file server was a bastard, then you met me.
7:00 AM: I awake from my long vacation to the fone ringing. I answer and its my boss, big surprise huh? Gore we need you here now! I love how I have him trained to call me by my handle.
Whats wrong? I ask. Well, I decided to take a trip into the server room, the one only you, the helper and me have access too, and well I noticed there wasnt much free space on the one marked file server so I asked my brother in law how to delete things.
He told me that rm filename worked and he said to delete a lot of extensions at once use an asterisk symbol and so I figured id help make your job easier today and I typed rm *.* and I said yes to the question, I didnt read it but in Windows it only asks if Im sure I want these to go to the recycling bin anyway and now no one can access the server.
7:30 AM: preparing application for garbage collector for the city How ****ing dumb can he person be? I get up and hop in the shower and prepare for work (swallow down some valium with a pot of espresso) and start driving in.
7:45 AM: The Valium is kicking in and so Im nice and calm. Driving to work I pop in my Acid Bath CD and blare it loudly. Everyone seems to be staring at me, oh well. I pull into the parking lot, my dumb ass boss is waiting for me in tears, wow, and this might get good.
7:55 AM: I decided to lock my doors and sit in front of the boss in my car smoking before I got out. He looks madder than sad now. I get out and he runs up to me. Shut up I dont care just go away and ill fix it. Oh ok. **** that worked well. I should try this more often, oh well.
8:00 AM: I walk in and see everyone looking mad, good there pissed and Im not. I walk into my office/computer lab and sit down, log in and then go to check the server. I actually had back ups so everything is fine, well right now, that dumb ass is going to learn the hard way to leave **** alone so I delete all the back ups and start reformatting the server.
The boss walks in and asks what is going on and I say Well we lost everything because you deleted all of it and the back ups, the back ups were stored in the romulator chip of the bios on this server and you killed it Dumb ass mode on.
He looks at me in shock and almost faints. Score!
I tell him to let everyone know why they lost all there work and he almost cries again. I grab the Free BSD install CDs and pop them in.
10:00AM: Well the servers back up and running and I think my boss has been shot; they were pretty pissed to hear he killed everything. Oh well I dont like him anyway.
I walk back in and sit down, I have to think long and hard, who the hell is devious enough to be MY assistant? I think for a little while but decide to put it off for a bit. I look at network load and see it at 99% what the ****?????????
I get up quickly and check to see where its coming from. I see its the one person in the building who not only cant leave things alone but actually thinks he knows what he is talking about when he screws up.
I walk into his office and ask him what in the **** are you doing? he asks what do you mean? oh great answer a question with an idiotic one.
I say to him that the network is overloaded and all of it is coming from his machine.
What are you talking about I only have one application open!
I look on his computer screen and see a $700 program running that we do not have.
What is that? Oh, thats mine, I found it online! So you pirated software?
No! I found it on this website and it said I could get software for free, it was something like cracked4free.com I think
I decide not to ask him to move; I just push his wheeled chair away very hard and look at his PC. I ask him what he has changed this time and he says Oh nothing at all, but I found a lot of these free software sites online and so I just added them to network neighborhood for quicker access
Funny, I never thought I would taste powdered tooth enamel again this soon. I refrain from choking him but remember his log in name and password after telling him Im taking his PC in for a format.
Him: Why? I need that!
Me: because you are a ****ing moron
Him: Im telling your boss!
Me: Ill tell him about the warez you installed and what you did.
Him: I didnt do anything though!
Me: Those sites were Warez sites, you broke the law, dont make me have you arrested idiot, I am root, you are luser, learn your role and shut up.
Him: That is so mean!
Me: I know, and no, I dont care.
I walk out with his PC and back to my office and sit down. I hook his PC up and write down his username and password for later on fun.
I pop in the Windows 2,000 CD and reformat it and start reinstalling as I log in as him and send the boss a quick mail.
Dear *******,
I know we have gotten along well and you were giving me a raise soon, but iv decided to come forward, Ive been sleeping with your wife and your daughter for about 9 months now, I know this is a shock but we had a threesome once a week and I had a great time. Just thought id thank you for allowing me to get off with your family, sincerely,
PS: the baby is not yours.
Im so funny sometimes.
12:00PM: I decide to leave for lunch because I hear the boss faint; I definitely want to see this one. I get up and watch in the parking lot as the boss kicks the **** out of and fires the luser. Score!
I see the luser get in his car and leave as the boss tries to calm down. I grab my laptop and sign on from the wireless access point we have for emergencies like this. I log into my machine with a special back door I installed.
I e-mail the boss to tell him how funny it was watching him kick the lusers ass and that I caught the hole thing on camera and I already have it uploaded to an FTP in case he tries anything to destroy the evidence, since we all know that the luser does not believe in cops.
The boss quickly replies asking what I want. Woot! I mail him back reminding him of a joke I made that I wanted a T3 in my house and that he would be paying for it someday.
I tell him that I was not joking and that he will be paying for this for me out of his pocket and to not pretend he cant afford it.
(This man makes around 100k a year and already owns his house and 5 BMWs.) Another quick reply from captain dumb ass, Woot! Im getting a T3 this week!
I decide to have some fun and call the lusers house, his wife answers the fone and I tell her Im sorry I have to be the one telling you this but, we had to fire your husband today What???????? She says.
I know hes been with us for 10 years but what he did was bad What did he do that was so awful? He needs his job we have a baby on the way and our electricity is about to be shut off! Well, he was sleeping with his managers wife What?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ill kill him!
Im sorry I had to be the one to tell you
Dont you worry; Ill take care of this, thank you for telling me.
I hang up and giggle a bit thinking what will happen to him. The boss walks in and says I hope you like your new connection, youre expensive
I know, but Im worth it. Have you decided on a helper yet? He asks. Sort of, an old friend of mine Aeallison may work out ok.
In the next Episode: Will our hackin hero make more lusers lifes hell?
Do you really have to ask that honestly?
Will Aeallison be hired in to help out gore? Who the hell knows but lets keep the humor flowing!
Stay tuned to gore for more and see what this ******* can come up with next!
Written entirely by: gore.
You thought Windows ME was a bastard, and then you met me.
8:00AM: I wake up and get read for work and give Aeallison a call. Hey your coming down to my company today they want a helper monkey for me and I think you need money
No I dont he says. Check your bank account online I say. YOU BASTARD! Yea I know, see you in an hour click.
I laugh and get ready for work. Odd how things electronic do what I want when I want.
I have a feeling today will be a fun filled adventure.
I arrive at work only an hour late and walk in to my area and sit down, log in and like clockwork the fone rings.
Ugh, might as well. Today will be fun.
Hello? Yes is this the computer room? Yes it is, thanks for your call, click.
A minute later, ring Hello? You ***** I was not done talking! Oh! Im so sorry sir, I thought you were. He sounds like he is unsure about the response and says well you should be! I work harder than you ever did.
Ok enough playing around now Im mad. What is your problem? Well I cant log in, a moron like you has probably screwed with something they dont understand and screwed it up.
Me: You mean like you are doing as we speak?
Him: What are you talking about? *click* *typing*
I write a quick shell script that activates when he logs in. I find the problem he was having and fix it. I want to hear his reaction. I tell him to try it now.
Him: Oh its letting me log on now, its about damn time; you morons are all over paid anyway.
Me: Oh Im so glad ill be able to hear this.
Him: Wait! I logged in and it said mail sent I wasnt typing any e-mail!
Me: Yes you were, those millions of log in attempts cluttered our mail servers quota data for the stock ram.
***** head mode on*
Him: Oh, well at least its working now, you *****.
Me: Oh yes I guess I am over paid As Im talking he gets a reply from the sent mail
Him: Oh no! My boss got a copy of the files I had stored on the server! He fired me!
Who new the boss and his wife and kids would get an e-mail of a picture the security cameras picked up of him having sex with another male coworker; darn I guess its just bad luck.
I look through his profile and find all of his personal information.
After signing him up for 300 porn magazines and making a quick phone call to a friend who will be pretending to play a prank on this guys by waiting at home for him in bed with her I think Ive pretty well solved this one.
My friend has this ability to make people think he is one of those hidden camera show people, but when the husband gets home hes going to run out the door putting clothes on and not say anything about a show, that should leave them with some talking to do huh?
I leave for lunch and see he is on his way home. What the hell ill fallow, ill give my friend a ride home.
I pull a few houses away and decide to wait. I hear a loud what the ****?!
I look up and see my friend bolting out of there and I go pick him up and drop him off at home. Wow its fun being me.
I pull in the parking lot at work and see Aeallison standing there.
Hey man. Hi, I say.
You ***** what happened to my bank account? Oh nothing *smile*
Yea right, he says.
Well this is where youre going to be working, lets try you out.
I walk in with him and find the boss and say this is the man being hired as my assistant. He looks at Aeallison and says ok. I walk into the lab and tell him to always be carrying a cat5 cable or something so no one asks you questions; they think youre working this way.
11:00 AM: Aeallison has been answering calls and being nice what the hell? I need to retrain this boy, his bastard balls are in some lusers jar somewhere.
11:30 AM: I install 15 backdoors on Aeallisons machine and log in it from mine and send a few mails to his son on college.
Dear Son,
I know we havent talked much lately, but there is a reason for this. You see I was afraid to talk to you because I wanted you to stay in the dark about my personal life. You see, I am a homosexual. Its a secret I have kept from everyone, Your Mother and I had you purely for cover up purposes. Im sorry Son you had to know this but I needed to tell you, you were born so people would stop calling your Mother a Clam Licker, and me a **** sucker. Again I am sorry son, but I felt you should know.
-Gay Dad. (Yes I know readers its a punk band.)
1:00PM: I guess I could spice things up for the next holiday at Aeallisons house:
Dear Dad,
I know we only talk on holidays but I felt there is something you should know. The reason I was mad about you hooking me up with that girl last semester was because I had a boyfriend at the time. I know this is hard to understand but I felt I needed to tell you,
1:30 PM: Well I guess Aeallison might get his meanness back to him so we have the bastard duo back again. I really crack myself up sometimes.
I guess before I leave early today I can do one more thing. I walk into the bosss office and lay out a few high times and crack whore monthly magazines and call up the CEO and tell him what I have found, he rushes down and cannot believe what he sees, he leaves a note on the bosss desk to see him later on and I walk away and leave for the night, Im tired and going to bed.
In the next episode:
Will the competition I have in bastard writing be able to squeeze out of these places I put them in with my total ***** skills? Will our hackin hero destroy more luser lives? Stay tuned to the biggest bastard of them all to see!
Who knew id get this far, anyway, enjoy.


text:
We live in a neighborhood with quite a bit of wildlife. We see coyotes, foxes, deer of course, and lots of birds: eagles, hawks, wild turkeys, owls and many more. Last summer we had to deal with a hawk that tried to build a nest on our house.
This spring it's an owl–a great horned owl, I'm not sure whether he has a mate or not. But we hear him hooting all the time and have often seen him in the trees around our house. Tonight I was home alone and heard the hooting; I looked out my kitchen window and there he was, looking at me. It was almost dusk, but I grabbed my camera and got this photo:
The proliferation of wildlife in urban and suburban settings is one of the fun features of modern life.
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"Arise and take our stand for freedom as in the olden time." Winston Churchill
"Proclaim Liberty throughout All the land unto All the Inhabitants Thereof." Inscription on the Liberty Bell

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Tag Archives: Yusuf Estes
The Lie of Santa Claus
December 25, 2013 Others, Politics & News, Video
Al-hamdulillah, All praise be to Allah alone, for making us Muslims and bestowing us the Deen of Islam to distinguish right and wrong. The holiday season is upon us again, and the ugly head of Satan is rising again to inspire people to indulge in innovation and shirk. Christians Lying About Santa Claus Sheikh Yusuf Estes deals out a few home truths about Christians, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Bible. As Yusuf Estes mentioned the bigger lie is that of associating partners with God. The word 'Christmas' is not even present in the entire Bible. The Bible has closed lips on the entire feast of Christmas with one exception, the decoration Read more ...


text:
Hi all, i have written a program in C which prevents the user specified process from running.
This might come in handy if you don't want your kids to play a game or use the net.
It is called Exekiller.
it runs in the background from an unvisible window and is easy to use.
Usage: Exekiller.exe <processname>
Example: Exekiller.exe iexplore.exe --> this will prevent Internet Explorer from running.
if you wish to kill this program (to use the blocked process again) you can kill it by pressing <CTRL>+<SHIFT>+<BACKSPACE>.
i've released it under the GPL and it can be found at my site.
i hope it may be useful


text:
Stockton, CA
Estella Brewer
Nov. 18,1919 - Dec. 31, 2012
Loving Mother, Grandmother & Great Grandmother, passed away
peacefully on Dec. 31, 2012, surrounded by family members.
Estella Brewer was born in Spofford, Texas, Nov. 18, 1919 to Eugenio and
Estella served the children of Stockton Unified School District as a bilingual aide retiring in 1997. Estella was preceded in death by her parents; husband, John; sisters, Delfina and Paula, and brother, Pedro. She is survived by sister-in-law Elida Morales; children, JoAnn (Victor), Bill (Janet), and Michael; grandchildren, Eric, Joshua (Jessica), Abigail (Ryan), and Rachel; great grandchildren, Cole, Logan, Evan, and Elliott, and loving nephews and nieces.
Visitation on Sunday, Jan. 6, 2013, 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. followed by Funeral Services on Monday, Jan. 7, 11:00 a.m. at Cherokee Memorial Funeral Home, 831 Industrial Way, Lodi, CA. Interment at Cherokee Memorial Park, Harney Lane at Hwy 99, Lodi, CA. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Catholic charity of your choice.


text:
As the fiscal cliff saga has played out, Erskine Bowles and Alan Simpson have been on a roadshow trying to build a groundswell of support for broad deficit reduction.
The high-profile duo toned it down recently, not wanting to upstage principal-level negotiations as talks between President Obama and Speaker John Boehner intensified.
But with an effort to bring a grand bargain back to the top of the agenda in Washington in early 2013, Bowles and Simpson will soon be heading back to the lecture circuit, trying to keep the pressure up, raising attention (and money) for the cause through efforts like the Fix the Debt campaign, which they cofounded.
"They will continue to be committed to speaking out and trying to raise awareness of the issues. They are interested in being helpful to the Congress and the administration in any way they can," said Ed Lorenzen, the executive director of the Moment of Truth, a public awareness and congressional outreach project, which stems from President Obama's fiscal commission that Bowles and Simpson co-chaired.
"There was a lot of work and knowledge on these issues from the fiscal commission, both on the substance and the politics. They want to continue to use that credibility and stature to keep pressure on Congress to follow through and to be the honest brokers as Congress considers further reforms, to say whether it is a serious effort."
The Fix the Debt campaign, which star Simpson and Bowles as the top, led with Maya MacGuineas, the president of the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget, have courted the business community to the chagrin of many on the left who are fearful they will become a shill for corporate interests, protecting pet tax provisions while seeking entitlement cuts. The nonprofit has earned the support of 150 business leaders, wowing Washington insiders by quickly amassing $43 million for its lobbying and public relations campaign. Its message is simple: "Inaction is not an option," is one of its slogans, arguing that the fiscal situation must be reined in with a balanced approach that includes both tax and entitlement reform.
The group has recently hired more staff and is preparing to continue its advocacy effort next year.
What influence Bowles and Simpson have though is hard to pinpoint.
They have enough pull with the White House and leaders on Capitol Hill to score meetings with key players, but there are many voices arguing for similar broad-ranging solutions, like the Domenici-Rivlin Debt Reduction Task Force, the Gang of Eight bipartisan group of senators, the Concord Coalition, and a host of Washington think tanks, so it is challenging to parse out how much credit is due to Simpson and Bowles.
"There are so many outside groups it's tough to say that any one of them has a particular edge over the others. I'm a little skeptical. There are any number of voices that are pushing the urgency to make long-term changes in the fiscal situation," said Brian Gardner, a senior vice president with Keefe, Bruyette & Woods. "I think they all get listened to, to a point, but I think it all comes down to political calculations…The Fix the Debt people and other groups tend to be very policy focused and don't always get the politics of it."
Simpson and Bowles names became synonymous with deficit reduction when they were catapulted to lead President Obama's 18-member National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform, two years ago. The commission failed by 3, to reach the 14-vote super majority threshold that would have sent their plan, commonly referred to as Simpson-Bowles, to the Senate for an up or down vote in December of 2010.
Many of the ideas they embraced, which they have been pushing since, were not new or unique. But they have worked feverishly to raise a sense of urgency surrounding the country's fiscal problems and attempted to inject into the mainstream consciousness a gnawing understanding that any attempt to seriously address the root of the problems is going to have to rely on the concept of "shared sacrifice."
Simpson and Bowles have developed a well-rehearsed routine, where Simpson, the former Wyoming Republican senator, takes the self-proclaimed "no-bullshit" shtick, underscoring the significance of the situation with scintillating shock value.
In August 2010, Simpson infamously had to apologize to the Older Women's League after he said the Social Security retirement program had reached the point "where it's like a milk cow with 310 million tits."
Bowles, a former chief of staff to President Bill Clinton, with an investment banking background is popular among the Wall Street elite who favor him to become the next Treasury secretary, which now seems unlikely in part for that very reason. Bowles breaks down the deficit numbers as the straight man on the stump and provides the laugh track to Simpson's relentless colloquialisms, as if to cue the audience to join in.
Some argue that Bowles and Simpson and their Fix the Debt effort have given the business community an outlet to channel their support for broad deficit reduction measures, in a symbiotic relationship that has raised the profiles of all involved.
"They have done a good job of energizing the business community. Our CEOs have been wanting to do something for a long time, but now they have a plug in point that is one that they all value," said a financial services industry leader. "The messaging is clear, it's concise. Everyone knows what I'm for when I sign up for this. So I think they have done a good job… allowing people to have a place where they can kind of sign up and join."
Others are wary of the direction that Simpson and Bowles might push the discussion.
Michael Ettlinger, the vice president for economic policy at the left-leaning Center for American Progress, argues that if Simpson and Bowles and the Fix the Debt campaign want to hold lawmakers' feet to the fire for a balanced solution, than they should be willing to call out both parties when they pull political stunts.
"If they keep doing what they're doing I actually think they'll impede progress to their own goals more than they'll help. They provide political cover from the people who aren't serious and undermine any sort of political awards anyone would get for being serious," he said.
But Ettlinger added, they could make an impact.
"They have the potential for being really influential because they could really get into the trenches and push people towards serious solutions," he said.


text:
Leionema coxii
Previously known as Phebalium coxii
Leionema coxii (F.Muell.) Paul G.Wilson
Leionema coxii, a member of the Rutaceae family, is not common in cultivation. Once thought to be restricted to the summit of a single mountain in the Budawang Range of New South Wales, it is known now to be more wide-spread, occurring along nearly 100 km of the Southern Tablelands escarpment. The plant grows in rocky terrain, often on steep slopes.
Leionema coxii may be either single or multi- stemmed and in the wild grows 5 m high. The leaves are dark green, narrow, elliptical, up to 70 mm long with a finely serrated margin towards the apex. Like those of all members of the family the leaves are distinctively aromatic. A. R. Penfold in 1925 stated that 'the leaves on crushing between the fingers readily emit a delightful fruity odour, which very closely resembles that of the luscious passion fruit (Passiflora edulis).
Leionema coxii should be planted where there is good drainage and some shade and mulched to ensure a cool root run. Once established it is fast growing and hardy, often developing a pyramidal shape. The deep pink flower buds clustered together in groups of 10-30 at the top of a branchlet open during September and October to form creamy white masses over the outside of the plant. The fruit is capsular, splitting to release 2-5 kidney-shaped seeds in late December.
Cuttings are the most suitable method of propagation. Complex dormancy problems make seed germination unsatisfactory. Cuttings are best taken in December or January from semi-hardwood growth and will usually strike within two or three months.
Leionema coxii is generally free from pests and diseases. If problems do occur consult local experts for advice.
Text by Julia Rymer, ANBG (1983)
Name meaning: Phebalium coxii
Phebalium - is apparently from the Greek, phibaleos, a fig, the reason being obscure;
coxii - named after Dr J. C. Cox of Sydney.


text:
Real Kitchens That'll Inspire: 15 Small Cool Kitchens To Check Out Now!
Apartment Therapy just wrapped up their annual Small, Cool Contest. Did you follow along? There were so many great small kitchens in the mix! If you need a little inspiration for your small space, start with these 15 kitchens to get the ideas flowing. (And seriously, isn't Silvana's multitasking Italian kitchen, shown in the first photo, so awesome?)
- 1 Silvana's Innovative Interior
- 2 Julia's Cabin in the Hills
- 3 Keira's First Fixer-Upper
- 4 Martha's Always a Party
- 5 Erin's Masterful Multifunctionality
- 6 Kathryn's Tucked Away Treasure
- 7 Dara's Live/Work Small Space
- 8 Jessica's Crafted Space
- 9 Ryan and Alana's Gut Renovation
- 10 Luz's Lucky Location
- 11 Megan's Revived and Renewed
- 12 Emily's Uniquely Us Home
- 13 Laura's Big Ideas for a Small Home
- 14 Ellen's Sears Kit Home
- 15 Stephanie's Shelving and Stacking
(Images: reader submissions to Apartment Therapy)


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29 Dec 2012 18:30:33 PM
UFC 155: Dos Santos vs. Velasquez II — Main Card Results & Commentary
(What a crazy year it's been. Just think, four weeks ago that bald guy in the middle was actually homeless. / Photo courtesy of Esther Lin's UFC 155 weigh-in set on MMAFighting.com)
UFC 155 might not be as epic as some of the UFC's previous end-of-year cards (you can blame the injury curse for that), but any time the Heavyweight Championship of the World is at stake, it's must-see TV.
Tonight, defending champ Junior Dos Santos will try to keep the train a-rollin' in a rematch with his old pal Cain Velasquez. Meanwhile in the co-main event, lightweights Joe Lauzon and Jim Miller will gobble up as many performance bonuses as they can get their little hands on. Plus, six middleweight contenders — including Tim Boetsch, Alan Belcher, and Chris Leben — will swing their ham-hock fists at each other, in the hopes that the most popular kid in school might notice them. Lotsa luck, ladies.
Running our final liveblog of the year (!) will be none other than Elias Cepeda, who will be updating you with round-by-round results after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please share your New Year's resolutions in the comments section.Read More DIGG THIS


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Watch this video of Kevin and Andrew Atherton interviewed at Cirque du Soleil's international headquarters. The former British gymnasts are training for IRIS, a new Cirque du Soleil show that will be presented at the Kodak Theatre later this year. This is Kevin and Andrew's second creation with the company.
We're looking for male and female contemporary/ballet, jazz, exotic dance, hip hop and street dance.
Get all details and apply now!
We are looking for a Talent Scout - Circus Arts with knowledge of acrobatic techniques and the circus arts milieu to join our team.
If you are interested to learn more about this challenge, click here and apply online!


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Forum: Match Fishing Talk
Discuss match and fishing tactics, anything that helps you catch more fish!
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All news and announcements regarding festivals and matches to be held in Ireland and Northern Ireland this year! Also chat in here everything 'Fishing in Ireland'
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21st May 2018


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Kendra Wilkinson, Your New Baby Boy Hank Is So Cute!
Awww! Kendra Wilkinson's new little baby boy Hank Baskett IV is so cute in this new photo, which his mom posted on TwitPic. Even though he was born a big baby at 9 lbs. 5 oz. on Dec. 11, Hank still looks like a little peanut in his mom's arms! Kendra and her husband Hank Baskett III, who plays for the Indianapolis Colts.
Kendra tweeted over the weekend, "Almost 10 lbs [and] no, not sleepin' thru night all way yet. Sleeps thru day good tho." She also wrote, "So excited to see the baby special tomorrow night on E! I know im goin to cry my eyes out. Lil Hank is my lil angel [and] I'm so happy!!"
And of course, in true Kendra fashion, the former The Girls Next Door star Tweeted on Dec. 20, "Just wanted to say hi everyone..up all night with the lil man again but I enjoy every min of it. He almost peed in my face today, lolol."


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It seems like all of us end up writing a journey fic at some point, don't we? Well, whether we do or not, this one's mine. It's the first decent fic I've ever written; it was first posted on SPPf way back in March 2008. Unlike some other people, I'm actually planning on finishing this (le gasp!). As it is, I already have 22 chapters written, though I'll probably end up splitting some of the longer ones before putting them here. Unless you want to have chapters as long the infamous chapter 17, which was 55 pages. =P
The earlier ones are noobishly ugly, though, so I'm not going to add them until I'm done revamping them. What with summer, I should get that bit done relatively quickly. :D
The genre listed on the description, plain old "Adventure", is actually not the sole genre into which this story falls. It runs almost the entire spectrum, including drama, humor, horror, parody, family, friendship, fantasy, supernatural, angst, hurt/comfort, romance ... but through it all, the adventure continues. Thus, adventure is the main course in this smorgasbord, but it's got a fun collection of flavors too. ^_^
*Disclaimer*: I do not own Pokemon. Well, duh; this is a fan fiction. And really, why would I want to own the company that created something as butt-ugly as Magmortar? No thanks.
There are a few Fakemon appearing here, however, which I do claim as my own creations. In case you were wondering, they aren't part of any project or fake game; rather, they're the products of me thinking, "Hey, this would make a fun Pokemon concept!" and incorporating it into the Pokemon universe. Knowing fully well that the chances of anyone wanting to use them are roughly nil, I'd still like to ask anyone who wants to use these fakes to get my permission first, please and thanks.
Rated T for language, bloodshed, gore, crude humor, drug references, thematic elements, and some suggestive content.
Chapter One: Start Your Engines (Pokemon, I Choose Who? Events Set in Motion!)
This is fate: something strange and warped, dealing kindness one moment, cruelty the next, forcing complete strangers to face one another in conflict which, in some other branch of time, may never have existed ...
"Come … you cannot resist my power …"
Conflicts in which only one contender can walk out alive.
"I'll never follow you! I'll die first if that's what it takes!"
But what is fate? The desire to prove oneself, to show society one's true potential? The power, the motivation, the innate drive to shape the world for better or worse? Or, perhaps, some combination of arcane factors no mere mortal can understand, in spite of their quests for self-knowledge: Their inner search spanning from the moment they first open their eyes to a new world of light, to the final flutter as they slip into the void ... though in the end, some things are better left undiscovered ...
"Very well, if that's what you wish …"
Unrevealed ...
He screamed.
Buried forever.
Darkness. Pain gripped him — horrific pain, physical as well as spiritual. The young man's head jerked back as blood spurted from the wound, the creature's scythes slicing easily through soft flesh as they punctured his chest, stabbing his heart ... his soul burned, twisting as the evil one's own self leapt—
The irony is, of course, that events never merely begin — there is always something which happened before. Credit it to fate's circular nature. A story never truly begins, and to find the exact point from which to begin a tale such as this — a tale which fate had a greater hand in than usual — would be a pointless exercise.
Then again, one has to start somewhere...
"Oh shut the hell UP!" she moaned, reaching up to beat the alarm clock until she finally managed to hit the snooze button, silencing its annoying whine. She squinted from the sunlight streaming from the window as she slowly sat up in bed, glancing at the clock, which read eleven AM. Today … what was today? It was important, she knew, but how? She frowned, trying to solve the mystery. Dentist appointment? No. I always dream about Beedrill before one of those. School starts? Now I'm being stupid. Or maybe—
"Oh, dear Arceus!" she shrieked, leaping out of bed before throwing on the clothes she had carefully selected the night before: a pale blue sleeveless shirt to complement a red miniskirt and her trusty yellow handbag. It was a smart choice for an outfit: cute, but surprisingly durable enough for long, hard travel. She turned to the mirror hanging on her door, scowling in frustration at the sight of her frazzled brown hair.
This is what you get for watching so many late-night reruns of Suicune Safari, you know, her conscience remarked. Naturally it was right, a fact which bothered her even more as she hastily brushed her hair straight, or at least as straight as three seconds' brushing would allow.
She noisily bolted down the stairs five at a time, often tripping, her long hair trailing behind her as if she were some sort of comet. Her mother, reading through some sort of file on her personal computer, glanced up at the noise. "Leaf? Honey, eat breakfast before you go—"
"SorrymombutIcantstickaround," Leaf called over her shoulder before dashing out the front door, leaving it wide open.
"… She does know she's not going to actually leave until tomorrow, right?" she asked a vaguely humanoid Pokemon as it shuffled down the hallway to close the door.
The Pokemon shrugged its furry yellow shoulders. "Lec," it guessed, not sounding very optimistic.
The mother sighed. "Oh, Leaf," she sighed, returning her gaze to the picture onscreen.
Somewhere, in a place cloaked in darkness, shadowy figures watched the scene flash before them in comparatively blinding light. "There," one murmured in satisfaction, gesturing his equine head toward the running figure of the girl. "That's the one."
A second being, this one of avian shape, cawed in annoyance. "Oh, bloody hell. Another chosen one? How many can the world possibly need? This is retarded. You know what? This is about the thousandth time you've done this sort of thing. What do you think this is, an RPG?"
"It's an amusing Game, Fystor." The third figure, a feline being, twitched her tail in spite of the calmness lacing her voice. "And amusing things are supposed to amuse, are they not? I do love this opening, anyhow. Watching them scramble into their destinies. I find it very … amusing."
"It's not amusing if it happens for the billionth freaking time." Fystor clacked her beak impatiently.
"Hey, chill," the equine said soothingly. "It's necessary. She wouldn't get the right partner if she managed to get there on time."
"Keep telling yourself that."
"Events will take an interesting turn," the feline purred. "It will be necessary for the good of the world that certain things happen."
"Pfft." Fystor shifted uncomfortably. "You say that every time …"
Pallet Town: an average town which had a habit of turning out some of the greatest trainers in Kanto. Normally, someone observing from above would see a motley collection of houses, stores, and the famous lab. However, on this particular morning, the view was blocked by a small cloud of dust rising from the midst of the town, kicked up by a girl eager to leave this place. Leaf sprinted down the long, dirty road, panting heavily. She knew she had to get there first, since she was not going to be stuck with a starter; she hated it when she didn't have a choice.
"Aw, crap!" she snarled as she neared Professor Oak's lab, a pristine white building situated on the edge of Pallet. The famous building was well known as one of the top researching facilities in Kanto, which had always seemed somewhat ironic to Leaf – Pallet Town was about as secluded as a Kantoan town could get, and few visitors deemed it worthy of visit, aside of course from the frequent hopefuls seeking to begin their journey's with the rare reptilian Kanto starters. She remembered the Pokemon from a pamphlet she'd picked up when she'd gone down to sign up for the chance to receive one: Bulbasaur, a freckled blue toad that seemed rather ugly in her opinion; Charmander, a lizard doubling as a living fire hazard; and Squirtle, a turtle whose shiny blue skin made her think of slimy things lurking in a pond.
What had drawn her displeasure at this moment, however, was the sight of the front door flung wide open, which could only mean one thing: at least one of the boys had gotten there first. Her options were going to be drastically cut. Damn!
Sourly she gritted her teeth as she raced into the building, skidding to a stop in the relative coolness before three surprised people. One was Professor Oak, of course, who was emerging from a back room. He glanced up at her in bemusement from the tray in his hands, whose contents were concealed by a cover. The sun-darkened skin around his eyes crinkled in a familiar smile, speaking of a liveliness both confirmed and spited by the mop of untidy gray hair nestled on his head.
Fire, the second, was a tall brown-haired boy who was moodily staring at nothing, leaning against a wall in spite of the musty furniture scattered about the fairly large room. His arms were crossed, the short black sleeves of his sharp-looking red shirt covering his chest. The bored look in his storm-gray eyes suggested to Leaf that he'd arrived first.
Last but not least was Ocean, a dirty blond, spiky-haired teen who wore a dark gray shirt and, oddly, vivid purple jeans. At another time, Leaf might have wondered where he bought his clothes, but at this point she was too irritated to care, and scowled slightly in defeat as he beamed and waved at her. He glanced sideways at Fire, rolling his eyes at the other boy's apathy; the three young teens had been friends for years, which wasn't something unexpected in such a small town, but Fire had been growing distant lately, annoying both of the other two. But Leaf couldn't share Ocean's exasperation at this moment: they had all been players in an unspoken competition, and now, here in the lab, she was forced to face her loss in it.
"Hello, Leaf," the Professor said cheerfully, his white lab coat billowing slightly as he approached. They knew each other fairly well already, due to him conveniently being Ocean's grandfather and therefore giving her an advantage when the time came to sign up. Whoever said scientists never play favorites was a liar.
"Eh, whatever," Leaf muttered, turning to leave. A sour taste formed in her mouth as she thought of the opportunities she was leaving behind. "Since I'm last, I'll just wait 'til next month. You know how I feel about being stuck with something."
"What? Leaf, this month I'm giving out four starter Pokemon," Oak said.
Leaf halted suddenly and swiveled around. "Say what?"
"Another young person arrived in town a couple of days ago, and he badly wants to on a journey," the Professor explained, placing the tray on a nearby table; removing the cover from it, he revealed four shining, pristine Poke Balls, their red and white halves contrasting each other. "Since he turned thirteen recently, I decided to make an exception and let out four new trainers instead of three: he had a rather convincing argument for it. And he's not here yet, so …"
Leaf grinned broadly, the blackness vanishing from her mood at once. "Well, in that case, I'm game for getting a Pokemon now," she said merrily, retracing her steps and joining the two boys as they gathered around the table. No way will I get stuck here now! she rejoiced silently.
"Eh … that's good." He sweatdropped at her sudden mood swing. "Fire, since you arrived here earliest, you get first choice."
"I'll take Squirtle," the serious-looking boy said in his cool, collected voice. With a nod, Oak grabbed a Poke Ball from the tray. Fire gazed at the sphere in the man's hand for a moment, then accepted it, a steely glint flashing in his eye. He wasted no time in letting his new Pokemon out: a toss of the ball and a flash of neon light later, a small bipedal turtle materialized on the floor. Blue skin gleamed in the daylight streaming from the high windows, its color broken only by the tough brown shell and the cream-colored, plated torso. With bright scarlet eyes she looked up and smiled broadly at her new trainer, who did not return her friendly wave. Instead, he pulled his red cap slightly lower over his face, scowling as he looked away.
"Looks like she's taken a shine to you," Oak said happily, pretending not to notice Fire's reaction as Squirtle's large head and curly tail drooped in disappointment. "Alright, Ocean, your turn to pick."
"Well, it's not a difficult decision," his grandson said eagerly, running a hand through his spiky hair. "I'm not about to let Hothead here beat me with his Squirtle, so I choose Bulbasaur!" He grinned cheekily at the other boy as he recalled the Squirtle.
"…'Hothead'? What kind of a crack was that?" Fire growled, placing Squirtle's Poke Ball on his belt. "Bubblebrain."
"I beg your pardon, Firebrand?"
"Shut it, you Waterlogged Wonder."
"Mister Mermaid!"
"Now, boys, settle down," Oak said hastily. "There will be no catfights in my lab. Ocean, here's your Bulbasaur."
"Thanks, Gramps!" Ocean said, gleefully grabbing the offered sphere and unleashing the beam of red light. In a flash, a squat turquoise toad-like creature materialized before him, his hide dotted with a dark jade. His back boasted a verdant green bulb, which opened slightly as the sun's rays fell upon it. Like Squirtle, his eyes, large and red, blinked up at the human. "You wanna come with me, pal?"
"Bulba," the Pokemon agreed, nodding lazily and waddling over to his new trainer's feet, plopping down into a snoozing position with a soft thud.
"Oof! Gosh, you're strong! Or maybe just heavy, but that might not be a bad thing, for you. Hmm … I'll call you Hideki."
"Good choice for a name," the Professor remarked as he glanced at Hideki, whose eyes were fluttering sleepily. "Especially since it doesn't incorporate 'bulb' or 'saur' in any way. Okay, Leaf, it's your turn. Do you want Charmander, or Pichu?"
The sound of the latter triggered a sneer; her choice was made for her. "Professor, you know me better than to ask."
"Good point. You despise Pikachu, don't you? Here …" He handed her one of the remaining Poke Balls.
Her heart thudded in anticipation as she accepted it. Something's beginning, she realized, gazing at it for a moment in wonder. Right here, right now … Reveling in the realization, she took a deep breath before releasing her new Pokemon, hoping it wouldn't explode with flame as soon as it set foot on the lab's shabby rug. A beam of light brought forth another bipedal Pokemon, this one a soft orange with a pale underbelly. The claws on his feet dug slightly into the rug as he glanced around, puzzled, before he realized where he was. Squinting from the sudden light, he looked up at his new trainer.
She returned his large-eyed gaze with a smile. He's a lot cuter than the pamphlet made the Charmander look, she realized, watching the small lizard's open, trusting face. "Hey, buddy. Do you want to travel around with me?"
Charmander thought for a moment before wagging his fiery tail, grinning shyly.
Great. A shy Charmander. Exactly what I want, she thought, sarcasm staining her happiness. She pushed the thought out of her head and smiled again, picking her starter up and placing him onto her shoulder.
"Let me get two things straight," she said, in a gentle but firm voice. "First, no digging into my shoulder suddenly. That would hurt." She winced, imagining his claws tearing involuntarily into her collar. "And second, keep your tail far, far away from my hair, or I will be very, very angry. And you do not want to see me when I'm angry."
The Pokemon nodded cautiously, taking care that he was waving his tail as far as possible from the rest of his body.
"Excellent," Leaf said, scratching underneath Charmander's chin; he purred contentedly in response.
A sudden pattering of small footsteps gained their attention. Turning toward the front door, everyone was just in time to see an unfamiliar boy jog in through the front door. Although he was thirteen, he was noticeably shorter than any of his peers. The bright sunlight shining through the door made his light blond hair and white hoodie seem to glow.
"Sorry I'm late, Professor," he panted, wiping his sweaty hands on his baggy shorts as he joined the group, cringing for some reason. "Which starter's left?"
"Hello, Lightning, I was wondering where you were. Well, there's a—"
The remaining Poke Ball in Oak's tray burst open, sending a tiny, yellow mouse Pokemon flying through the air before attaching herself to Lightning's head, baring her teeth in a grin. Blue sparks of electricity flew from her short fur.
"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGHH! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!" Lightning screamed, wildly running around the lab like a headless chicken. The Pichu giggled despite hanging onto Lightning's head for dear life; her black-edged triangular ears and short tail flew behind her with the boy's jerky movements.
"She's a bit feisty," Oak called after Lightning, as if the boy were at a fancy dinner party instead of being attacked by an overly affectionate baby mouse. "But she's really quite sweet if you can train her up right. Of course, no one's stuck around long enough to actually do that, so you'll have to go on faith … do you want her?"
"As if he had a choice," Fire sneered, folding his pale arms in a rather superior way. "We took all the good starters. 'Lightning', indeed. Like you could guess from how late he got here."
"Shut it, Fire," Ocean cut in, making an annoyed face. "You shouldn't talk, anyway. You got the first choice."
Rolling his eyes, Fire haughtily stuck out a foot, tripping Lightning and sending him flying across the air before smashing into the wall. Groaning, the blonde pulled himself back into an upright position, holding his head and looking rather dazed. "Ow," he muttered, warily glancing at the Pichu, who had miraculously avoided getting injured herself; she was now attempting to look innocent and failing miserably.
"Now that we've got that out of the way," Oak continued airily, as the boy wiped the sweat from his brow while the mouse giggled again, "let me give you a couple of things. Here's five more Poke Balls for each of you – there we go—" With a flourish, he pulled several of the familiar spheres from his pockets, tossing them to the newbie trainers, who hastily scrambled to catch them. Beaming at the bemused looks on their faces, he then brought forth four identical orange contraptions, small enough to fit in a shirt pocket … assuming, of course, that the shirt belonged to a hillbilly with little common sense and no fashion sense; it's incredible how baggy their clothing can be. "—And here are your Pokedexes. Okay, now scat! We can't have wild mice around here! Shoo!"
"Thanks, Prof!" Leaf grinned as she placed the Balls on her belt, before heading back for the door and the world beyond; Ocean and Lightning soon followed her example. Fire rolled his eyes in contempt before following them, leaving Oak waving after them, alone with his work once more.
Fystor turned away from the scene, rolling her eyes. "Okay, so they're all buddies, blah blah blah. Nothing particularly special."
"It fell into place perfectly," the feline purred. "Fortune and misfortune are set up for them."
"The short kid's an added bonus to the whole deal, if you know what I mean." The equine craned his neck to get a better view. "Even though he ended up with the mouse, which is unoriginal. But considering the two, they should add to the fun. And we've planned for some other people to meet up with them later – the thing about crashes is, you've got to time them perfectly if you want the maximum boom."
"… Maximum boom," Fystor repeated tonelessly.
"You two honestly have nothing better to do than screw up mortals' lives?"
"It's what we do." He stuck his tongue out at her.
"In any case, events will come to a head," the feline said. "And it's essential that the heroes are able to defeat him when he's getting stronger."
Fystor froze. "He who?"
"The biggest evil of all time," the equine replied, rolling his eyes. "Geez, Fystor. Who do you think? It's not like we're setting them up to defeat a president or something."
"Although, the latest American president has not been performing admirably," the feline commented thoughtfully. "Perhaps he should be pulled off of his pedestal, too."
Fystor was silent. Possibilities of the future blossomed in her mind, each more horrific than the next. She glanced at the other two, carefully keeping her emotions under control. "That's … news to me," she remarked finally. "Well, I'll just … go see how Mom's doing, I guess … behave yourselves while I'm gone, or else—"
"Or else what? You'll lecture us?" The equine snickered.
She scowled at him. A blink later, she had abruptly dematerialized, fading swiftly into the air as if turning invisible.
The equine looked at his companion. "You'd think she'd remember that fate effects everyone," he said, smirking. "I love how she's going to set up everyone's destinies and doesn't even know it. Irony is fun, isn't it, sis?"
She nodded. "Indeed. I can't imagine why she would think otherwise …"
(Yes, I know this looks like the generic noob trainer story we all know and hate. Believe me, it will start to deviate from the games' plot soon enough. This chapter is vastly improved from the original, in which the opening sequence was two italicized lines that didn't serve any purpose besides looking "cool". The bits with Fystor are also new, and I think they help tie into the later chapters nicely.)
Chapter 2's revampage is close to being done, so it should be up fairly soon. ^_^;


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Featured News - Current News - Archived News - News Categories
Buffalo eatery hosts American Red Cross Blood drive
All presenting blood donors will receive coupon for a free pound of Dunkin' Donuts coffee*
Dunkin' Donuts and the American Red Cross will welcome the return of their January blood donor incentive program by hosting a blood drive to kick off the sixth annual "Give a Pint, Get a Pound" campaign. The program encourages blood donations during the month of January - nationally recognized as Blood Donor Month.
A Buffalo-area resident who is the mother of a blood recipient will help launch this year's campaign by speaking about her experience and the overall importance of donating blood through the American Red Cross.
During the month of January, all presenting donors at American Red Cross blood drives in the greater Buffalo area will receive a coupon for a free pound of Dunkin' Donuts coffee.*
Thursday, Jan. 3
Dunkin' Donuts
2200 Sheridan Drive, Buffalo
To celebrate National Blood Donor Month, Dunkin' Donuts and the American Red Cross are thanking donors who support the community blood supply with the launch of their sixth annual "Give a Pint, Get a Pound" campaign. The program is designed to help raise awareness about the need for blood.
Representatives from the American Red Cross and Dunkin' Donuts will explain details of the "Give a Pint, Get a Pound" partnership, which provides a coupon for a free pound of Dunkin' Donuts coffee to all presenting blood donors at Red Cross blood drives in Western New York during the month of January.*
Blood is an essential component for patient care in area hospitals, and the only source of blood is a healthy, volunteer blood donor. About every two seconds, someone in America needs blood, and one donation can help save up to three lives. All current and new donors are encouraged to call 1-800-RED CROSS(1-800-733-2767) or visitredcrossblood.org to schedule an appointment.
*Coupons are redeemable at participating Dunkin' Donuts locations. Coupons are non-transferrable and not redeemable for cash.
About Dunkin' Donuts
Founded in 1950, Dunkin' Donuts is America's all-day, everyday stop for coffee and baked goods. Dunkin' Donuts is a market leader in the regular/decaf coffee, iced coffee, hot flavored coffee, donut, bagel and muffin categories. Dunkin' Donuts has earned the No. 1 ranking for customer loyalty in the coffee category by Brand Keys for six years running. The company has more than 10,000 restaurants in 32 countries worldwide. For the full-year 2011, Dunkin' Donuts' restaurants had global franchisee-reported sales of approximately $6.4 billion. Based in Canton, Mass., Dunkin' Donuts is part of the Dunkin' Brands Group Inc. family of companies.
For more information, visit www.DunkinDonuts.com.


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BELGRADE, Serbia, Feb. 21 (UPI) -- The Serbian government said it passed a measure Thursday that gives Gazprom and state-owned Srbijagas access to land to build the South Stream gas pipeline.
The $2.3 billion Serbian section of the natural gas pipeline was described by Serbian lawmakers as "the first and unique project of this kind and size," Bloomberg News reports. That status means a South Stream joint venture may claim eminent domain over land along the 290-mile route of the pipeline to facilitate its construction.
South Stream would add diversity to a Serbian energy sector that depends on Hungary and Ukraine for natural gas. The project is part of Gazprom's efforts to add diversity to its export options as about 20 percent of Russian gas for Europe heads through Ukraine's Soviet-era transit network.
Serbia can expect around $267 million in transit fees from its section of the pipeline, Bloomberg adds.
Gazprom officials in January courted members of the pipeline manufacturing sector to discuss the construction of projects like South Stream. The pipeline is expected to go into service by 2015.


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Alas, time isn't my friend, when it comes to setting up a shot. The sun was going down, dinner time is just around the corner, but I wanted to write down this recipe, lest I forget how I made it. So much for setting up a small decorative ceramic turkey, some food props, a fancy plate and a color-coordinated napkin-- oh, and the milk bottle with the colored striped straws. "set up" that looks like the front page of a food magazine. In my case, ain't gonna happen. The desire is there, but the time isn't.
Biscoff Spread is so "last year". I know. I've been trying to think of a way to use this ingredient in a way that not everyone else has. Good luck with that, because when I get an idea for a recipe, someone else already has. Sigh. (Oh, and Trader Joe's sells Cookie Butter, which is a clone of Biscoff spread.) As far as I can tell, nobody has made spritz cookies with Biscoff, so I'm claiming them!
Butter Spritz Cookies, using my new OXO Cookie Press. I wondered if I substituted half the butter for Biscoff spread, and added some pumpkin spice, if the cookies would work out okay.
OXO Autumn Disk Set. It takes a little bit of patience to press the level, on the cookie press, until the first cookie dough comes out. It's usually a bit wonky, so I just scrape it off and toss it back into the bowl of dough.
I still like to sprinkle them with coarse sugar (and I played a little with sprinkles). I like that extra crunch it adds to the cookies.
If you still can't view the recipe card, all of my recipes are stored on Key Ingredient, by clicking here.