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Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Spaghetti with Shaved Asparagus, Brown Butter and Toasted Walnuts
From the kitchen of One Perfect Bite...Within the confines of my home this is still called ABC pasta. The first time I made the dish, I used asparagus, brown butter and capellini, and, while the ingredients have changed a bit, the name stuck. This is a fast and easy dish to execute. It has a spare elegance and makes a lovely, light meal that is worthy of family and friends. It's also a great way to use some of the asparagus that floods markets at this time of year. While you'll want to use thick spears to make this, it will be necessary to sacrifice the first strip you shave from the top and each side of the asparagus spears. The asparagus is "cooked" only by the heat of the pasta, so you want to make sure it is crisp tender, not tough, when it is tossed with the macaroni. The brown butter sauce is simple to put together and once the asparagus has been shaved you are ten minutes away from dinner. There is a nutty richness to the butter sauce that I think you will enjoy. The recipe appears below.
Now, I have a special request to make of you. I'm looking for a food joke. The kind that will make folks groan when they hear it. It's time for retaliation. I have for most of my adult life been surrounded by pragmatic people who love the order of numbers and the power of logic. They are wonderful folks, one and all. Let's just say that their humor is sometimes beyond the pale. I was working in the kitchen when the Silver Fox, normally quite circumspect, let loose a belly laugh. He was paging through a book on relativity. "You have to hear this, Mary." Are your ready? Here's the gist of his metaphysical gut buster. A battered turtle crawled in a police station to report he had been mugged by three snails. When ask to be more specific, the turtle said, "It happened so fast, I can't remember." Help! Poor Albert Einstein is rolling in his grave. It may be time for separate vacations.
Spaghetti with Shaved Asparagus, Brown Butter and Toasted Walnuts...from the kitchen of One Perfect Bite
Brown Butter Sauce
4 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon chopped fresh sage
2 tablespoons heavy cream
12 ounces spaghetti
1 bunch (1 pound) asparagus, tough ends removed, shaved with a vegetable peeler
1/2 cup coarsely chopped toasted walnuts
1/2 cup grated parmigiano-reggiano cheese
1) To make brown butter sauce: Melt butter and salt in a small saucepan set over medium-low heat. Add chopped fresh sage and cook, stirring often, until butter begins to brown, about 5 minutes. Stir in 2 tablespoons heavy cream and remove from the heat.
2) To make pasta: Cook pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water, until al dente. Drain pasta and return to pot. Gently fold in shaved asparagus.
3) To serve: Add brown butter to pasta and asparagus and toss to coat. Fold in cheese and walnuts. Adjust salt if necessary. Serve immediately. Yield: 4 servings.
One Year Ago Today: Chocolate-Hazelnut Track Bread
Two Years Ago Today: Chocolate Bread
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Baked Lemon Spaghetti - The Recipe Girl
Spaghetti with Fresh Tomato Sauce - The Constant Hunger
Capellini with Cheese and Black Pepper - The Red Spoon
Lemon Spaghetti - Sunshine and Smile
Spaghetti with Bacon - In Flora's Kitchen
Shrimp and Mushroom Spaghetti - What's Cookin' Chicago?
Spaghetti with Fresh Herbs and Roasted Tomatoes - A Toast to Taste
74 comments :
- jennifer said...
Looks yum! Not too filling either.
- May 3, 2011 at 12:26 AM
- muppy said...
this looks so delicious, perfectly simple. i don't know any food jokes sorry!
- May 3, 2011 at 12:31 AM
- Little Inbox said...
I'm impressed how tasty and healthy the spaghetti is.
- May 3, 2011 at 12:43 AM
- Diane said...
This sounds just my sort of recipe. Bookmarked to make in the next few days with asparagus from my garden :-) Diane
- May 3, 2011 at 12:48 AM
- Ginny Hartzler said...
A friend got some vinegar in his ear. Now he suffers from pickled hearing.
- May 3, 2011 at 1:02 AM
- Jeannie said...
That sounds like something really delicious, though I'll have a probably make a mess while shaving asparagus!
- May 3, 2011 at 1:25 AM
- The Harried Cook said...
I love brown butter! This sounds like such a tasty recipe... Thanks, Mary!
- May 3, 2011 at 2:19 AM
- Katarina said...
Sounds really good!
- May 3, 2011 at 3:00 AM
- Coleens Recipes said...
I love the simplicity and what a nice treat for ME on those carniverous steak nights that hubby thrives. Thanks for sharing.
- May 3, 2011 at 3:35 AM
- Nami | Just One Cookbook said...
Simple but looks so delicious. Pasta actually tastes best when it involves simple ingredients and I bet yours is not exception!
- May 3, 2011 at 3:53 AM
- Ana Powell said...
Your dishes always look so delicious and welcoming ♥
- May 3, 2011 at 4:12 AM
- Ana Rita Marreiros said...
It looks very tasty and delicious Mary!!1A really good combination.
Rita - May 3, 2011 at 4:25 AM
- Su m said...
I just fell in love with this recipe... it just looks amazing :D
Thank you. - May 3, 2011 at 4:44 AM
Jill: Would you like some Egyptian pie?
Jack: What's Egyptian pie?
Jill: You know, the kind mummy used to make. - May 3, 2011 at 6:19 AM
- Pity said...
a wonderful plate of pasta, well done! cheers from london
- May 3, 2011 at 6:38 AM
- The Blonde Duck said...
That's my kind of pasta!
- May 3, 2011 at 7:19 AM
- Chiara said...
I love this kind of pasta, have a good day mary....
- May 3, 2011 at 7:22 AM
- Carla Oliveira said...
Lovely pasta, i´ve just tasted aspargus a few weeks ago and became a fan, so this would be a perfect recipe for me.
Kisses - May 3, 2011 at 7:56 AM
This looks so good! I recently got on board with the browned butter and nuts in pasta, but I've never thought to add asparagus. Great idea!
- May 3, 2011 at 8:13 AM
these spaghetti simply look yum!
- May 3, 2011 at 8:14 AM
- Sutapa said...
Simple delicious and I love the way you use shaved asparagus... it gives a gorgeous look to the dish!
- May 3, 2011 at 8:21 AM
- Lenia said...
Sorry,I can't think of any food joke,but I must confess that your spaghetti is absolutely perfect!A light but tasty dish!I love all the ingredients!Regards from Greece,dear!
- May 3, 2011 at 8:24 AM
- Faith said...
What a beautiful dish with so many tasty components! I love teh nutty flavor from the brown butter and the walnuts!
- May 3, 2011 at 8:30 AM
- Angie's Recipes said...
A light and tasty pasta meal!
- May 3, 2011 at 8:38 AM
- Unknown said...
Oh, Mary, that pasta looks incredible! Definitely something that will end up on our table!
Ok.. this is really lame, but here goes:
Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
I told you it was lame!! - May 3, 2011 at 8:55 AM
- VegeCooking Club said...
Hello and thanks so much for stopping by my site! This has me drooling over the browned butter and toasted walnuts. Mmmm....
- May 3, 2011 at 8:59 AM
What a lovely pasta dish, the flavors sound delicious, I would not have thought of walnuts, but I bet they are delicious with the butter - wow, thanks for sharing this.
Mary - May 3, 2011 at 9:28 AM
- Gloria Baker said...
Absolutely nice dish Mary, have a nice and wonderful day! gloria
- May 3, 2011 at 9:31 AM
- Biren @ Roti n Rice said...
I love asparagus and would like to try that brown butter sauce. Sounds like a great combination.
- May 3, 2011 at 9:42 AM
- Kalyn Denny said...
Oh my, this sounds fantastic!
- May 3, 2011 at 9:56 AM
- Nicole@HeatOvenTo350 said...
Okay, here's a joke that I think is pretty funny:
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "do you have any quackers?" bartender looks at him and says "no". Duck walks out. The next day, Duck walks into the same bar and asks the same bartender, "do you have any quackers?" bartender looks at him and says, "NO" next day, Duck walks in again and asks the bartender "do you have any quackers?" bartender throws his bar rag down in disgust and says, "NO! if you come in here one more time and ask if we have quackers, im going to nail your feet to the floor!! now get the hell out of here!" next day, duck walks in and the bartender sees him and says "what did I tell you!!". Duck looks at him and asks "do you have any nails?" bartender looks puzzled and says "no!?" duck then asks " do you have any quackers?" - May 3, 2011 at 10:03 AM
- daphne said...
I don't have a food joke- yet.. but I love the sound of this ABC pasta! How light and easy it is.. Fresh as well. Perfect.
- May 3, 2011 at 10:42 AM
- From the Kitchen said...
I'm sorry but I have no food jokes at the moment. I have found that, at times, separate vacations are in order!!
I have everything to do this recipe (which sounds delicious) but the asparagus. Still waiting. = (
Oh wait! Would you believe that Ginny stole my joke?
Bonnie - May 3, 2011 at 10:42 AM
- Inspired by eRecipeCards said...
I just love the idea of shaved asparagus... Going to make use of that soon...
And here you go, I am in diet mode right now, so this came to mind...
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - May 3, 2011 at 11:44 AM
- David said...
Mary, This dish looks and sounds terrific. Light but satisfying! I love asparagus and the combination of simple ingredients should be perfect. Take Care, Big Daddy Dave
- May 3, 2011 at 11:44 AM
Thanks so much for recommending my Spaghetti Bolognese recipe :) Glad I found your site, plan on making your Orange Glazed Fiesta Chicken!
- May 3, 2011 at 11:53 AM
- Kelly said...
Ahhhh so much shaved asparagus in the blogosphere lately. It's gorgeous and CLEARLY something I should get on.
- May 3, 2011 at 12:00 PM
- That Girl said...
Browned butter might be my favorite of pasta sauce.
- May 3, 2011 at 12:31 PM
- Food Glorious Food! said...
I aways like speedy great dinner and yours is ideal! Another great recipe!
- May 3, 2011 at 12:46 PM
- PeggyR said...
This sounds heavenly!
- May 3, 2011 at 1:33 PM
- Cooking Creation said...
Mmm! Shaved asparagus sounds wonderful with pasta! Wish I had a good food joke for you. Thanks for sharing!
- May 3, 2011 at 1:33 PM
- Tanvi@Sinfully Spicy said...
Brown Butter in a pasta sound so good.I love the light summer flavors in your dish.Gorgeous looking.
- May 3, 2011 at 2:05 PM
- Maria said...
I love this! Perfect flavours, this sounds so delicious Mary!
- May 3, 2011 at 2:07 PM
- La Cuisine d'Helene said...
So nice for Spring, really colorful.
- May 3, 2011 at 2:10 PM
I think it's Mark Bittman who points out from time to time that the veggie peeler should be used more to shave things like asparagus and broccoli than to actually remove skins and peels, where lots of nutrients hang out. Great one!
- May 3, 2011 at 2:15 PM
What a simple yet tasty recipe! Asparagus is exploding in the supermarkets right now & I usually don't know how to change things up with it, this is one way I'm going to try! Also, I'm 30 and I still laughed at the joke! It could also be because I'm known to laugh at any and every thing :P
- May 3, 2011 at 2:30 PM
- Ju said...
Wow this looks so yummy. I am always looking for new food blogs with great recipes. Thanks for leaving a comment so I could find this wonderful site!!! I'll be back :o)
- May 3, 2011 at 2:42 PM
- Katerina said...
Simple and delicious! I am sorry Mary but my jokes will sound all Greek to you!
- May 3, 2011 at 2:42 PM
- sweetlife said...
pickled hearing, love it!! a perfect lunch idea, thanks for sharing
sweetlife - May 3, 2011 at 3:23 PM
- Rosa's Yummy Yums said...
What a refined tasting spaghetti dish! That combination is so appetizing and wonderful.
Rosa - May 3, 2011 at 3:36 PM
- Gourmantine said...
Lovely combination of flavors, perfect for spring! Thanks so much for sharing :)
- May 3, 2011 at 4:20 PM
- Carol @ There's Always Thyme to Cook said...
Looks fantastic! Simple but fantastic!
Here's some groaner's for you...
A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.
Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you. - May 3, 2011 at 4:43 PM
- penny aka jeroxie said...
ABC pasta... what a cool name and very fitting
- May 3, 2011 at 4:48 PM
- ~~louise~~ said...
How drastic of a joke do you want Mary? I have a few insect recipes which you might be able to pass off as gourmet.
Your dish sounds as easy as ABC and I love it!!!
Thanks for sharing... - May 3, 2011 at 4:55 PM
- Pam said...
Great dish and thanks for sharing it Mary! It has to be great combining asparagus with toasted walnuts.
- May 3, 2011 at 5:12 PM
- Lucy@The Sweet Touch said...
Ha love the joke;)
This pasta looks delish! I just tried shaved asparagus for the first time the other day - I'll be posting a recipe for shaved asparagus and proscuitto pizza soon! - May 3, 2011 at 7:01 PM
- Maris (In Good taste) said...
Looks incredibly good!Like something one would find in the finest restaurant.
- May 3, 2011 at 7:06 PM
- Kim said...
These pastas are just perfect. really, I will absolutly prepare these once the aspargus will be on market. I love brown butter, pastas, nuts and aspargus. Thank you for sharing this recipe!
- May 3, 2011 at 7:27 PM
- Ilke said...
Ha! You need to find a good food joke definitely! :)
I have been seeing shaved asparagus a lot lately, and each picture looks very delicious. I like that only the heat of pasta cooked it. - May 3, 2011 at 7:56 PM
- Julia @ DimpleArts said...
This dish looks amazing! I think I am gonna incorporate this into my dinner rotation.
- May 3, 2011 at 8:29 PM
- Joanne said...
Your husband's joke reminds me of my college days at MIT...where every joke was like that. Sigh.
Love this pasta! So fresh-flavored and with my favorite spring veggie! - May 3, 2011 at 8:45 PM
- lena said...
another great idea with shaved asparagus and that brown butter must be delicious too.
Here's one that maybe you might have heard of..
chilli and tomato were in a race and tomato was falling far behind. what did chilli say to tomato?
"hey, tomato..Ketch-up!Ketch-up!" - May 3, 2011 at 9:03 PM
- Unknown said...
That joke is a rough one. I'm sure there are some bad ones out there, just have to remember them. Love the idea of using shaved asparagus. What do you use to shave it with?
- May 3, 2011 at 9:20 PM
- Julie said...
Oh this looks so amazing!! I love asparagus and add brown butter, even better!!!
- May 3, 2011 at 9:21 PM
- Jocie's Mom said...
HA! I had to laugh when I read the turtle joke. Its like you live on the set of The Big Bang Theory :) I'm afraid I don't have any food jokes of my own but the pickled hearing one certainly made me giggle. Not as much as the turtle one tho :)
Awesome recipes, well done! - May 3, 2011 at 9:52 PM
- Unknown said...
Another wonderful dish Mary! You never dissappoint. I always look forward to seeing what delicious recipe you've posted : )
- May 3, 2011 at 10:40 PM
- Rambling Tart said...
This is the sort of dish that makes me happy, Mary. The sort that I want to eat whilst sitting in a puddle of sunshine and looking out at something beautiful. :-)
- May 4, 2011 at 12:53 AM
- Elaine said...
Too funny! This looks like a perfect work night dinner.
- May 4, 2011 at 8:10 AM
- Tasty Trix said...
I actually snorted at that turtle joke ... help, I think I am a dork!! I wish I had a good food joke for you, but I really enjoyed reading the groaners in the comments. lol! Ah .. but I don't want to forget your lovely pasta - beautiful and simple. And well: Brown. Butter.
- May 4, 2011 at 9:25 AM
- megi said...
This dish looks amazing, I love the simplicity of the ingredients!
- May 4, 2011 at 12:25 PM
- Tasha said...
This pasta sounds lovely with its simple ingredients but promise of flavor. Once I can come across the thicker stems of asparagus, I will have to give it a try.
- May 4, 2011 at 2:35 PM
- Sue said...
This dish sounds incredibly delicious! Such a great combo of flavors.
- May 5, 2011 at 1:30 PM
- Adam said...
I love asparagus, I love pasta, and butter? Yes please :).
And Hilary Price is one of my favourite cartoonists who does a lot of word play humour in her comic strip. There are usually a few food related gems :). If you're still looking for a joke (although not a written or oral one) this is a more recent example of one of my food related favourites :)
http://www.rhymeswithorange.com/wordpress/strips/Rhymes_with_Orange.20110110_large.gif - May 5, 2011 at 3:40 PM
- Melanie said...
I've been trying to reset my body after vacation by cutting back on sugar and carbs and this meal really hit the spot. Thank you for posting it!
- May 18, 2011 at 11:48 PM


text:
For this week's Tuesdays with Dorie recipe, Michelle of Bake-en selected the Dimply Plum Cake (page 41) from Dorie's book, Baking: From My Home to Yours. This came together in two parts...
Round One:
Lots of beautiful plums and a full size 8x8 pan.
Cut fruit, mix and bake.
After 40 minutes, the top was golden and the toothpick came out clean.
But when I cut into the cake, it was crazy raw. Like the raw food movement entered the center of my cake. Except for sashimi, I like my food above 115 degrees.
Round Two:
This time, based on a few factors (including the sad state of plums at the Farmer's Market), I decided to make 1/4 of the recipe in a little 4-inch pan.
Even though it was a 4-inch pan, I baked it for 40-45 minutes (can't remember now...I just keep hitting "snooze" on the kitchen timer). At 30 minutes, I tented the pan with some aluminum foil.
Yippee! I held off the raw food movement (I just don't understand this, by the way - how can you give up hot soup in the winter??!??!) and it was nicely baked!
Be sure to check out the other Tuesdays with Dorie bakers! Next week, creme brulee - yes! more torched desserts! :)

subset: commoncrawl


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text:
Another recipe by Donna Hay – from her magazine, issue #35, to be more specific.
I'm a huge fan of hers and those of you who have been around my blog for a while already know that – Joey and I go hand in hand in our love for Donna's recipes! :)
I tried goat's cheese for the first time while on vacation last September and can't imagine how I had lived without it till then. I tried it on salads, quiche, sandwiches, pasta… And love everything. "Gotta start using it in my cooking", I thought.
Joao brought it from the grocery store one day – I didn't even know they had started selling it there – and I knew exactly where to look for a good recipe: Donna's books and magazines.
What a delicious salad! I know that doesn't sound much modest, but this is one of the best dishes I have ever cooked. The cheese was so good after the shallow-frying process: crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside. The tomato + basil combination is always a winner and the dressing worked perfectly with all the ingredients – I was amazed by how great everything was together.
I don't like to repeat recipes – there are so many new things to be tried, right? – but this is a salad I can see myself eating again, and again, and again…
This is my entry for the Weekend Herb Blogging, this time hosted by Simona, from Briciole.
Crispy goat's cheese, tomato and basil salad
from Donna Hay magazine
all-purpose flour for dusting
1 cup (110g/3 ¾oz) store-bought breadcrumbs
240g (8 ½oz) goat's cheese, sliced
2 eggs, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 vine-ripened tomatoes, sliced
1 cup basil leaves
1 bunch (100g/3 ½oz) rocket (arugula), trimmed
Balsamic dressing:
¼ cup (2fl oz) olive oil
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon caster sugar
To make the balsamic dressing, place the olive oil, vinegar and sugar in a bowl and stir to combine. Set aside.
Place the flour and breadcrumbs on separate plates. Press the goat's cheese slices into the flour, dip in the egg and press into the breadcrumbs. Heat the oil in a large non-stick frying pan over high heat. Cook the cheese for 1-2 minutes each side or until golden and crispy. Divide the cheese, tomatoes, basil and rocket between plates and drizzle over the balsamic dressing.
Serves 4


text:
LA Kings blast Devils, claim 1st Stanley Cup
LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Hooray for Hockeywood.
The Los Angeles Kings' 45-year quest for an NHL title ended Monday night with an early flurry of power-play goals, followed by two periods of unbearable anticipation -- right up to the moment when Dustin Brown snatched the Stanley Cup from Commissioner Gary Bettman.
Brown skated to center ice and thrust the 36-pound silver trophy skyward, the captain never flinching under the weight. Long-suffering L.A. fans, who had never even seen hockey's greatest prize, went crazy.
The Kings are NHL champions for the first time, and all the men in black played a role in this Tinseltown blockbuster.
Jeff Carter and Trevor Lewis scored two goals apiece, playoff MVP Jonathan Quick made 17 saves in his latest stellar performance, and the Kings beat the New Jersey Devils 6-1 in Game 6 of the finals, becoming the first eighth-seeded playoff team to win the league title.
Brown had a goal and two assists for Los Angeles, which ended its spectacular 16-4 postseason run in front of a crowd including several dozen Kings faithful who have been at rinkside since the team's birth as an expansion franchise in 1967. Every other year ended unhappily.
"Every single guy worked so hard for us this season," said defenseman Drew Doughty, who began the year as a contract holdout and finished with six points in the finals, including two assists in the clincher. "Everyone deserves this. We got used to each other, we developed a chemistry, and we just went sailing from there."
After taking a 3-0 series lead and then losing two potential clinching games last week, the Kings finished ferociously at Staples Center just when the sixth-seeded Devils appeared to have a chance for one of the biggest comebacks in finals history.
One penalty abruptly changed the tone of the series. Brown, Carter and Lewis scored during a five-minute power play in the first period after Steve Bernier was ejected for boarding Rob Scuderi, leaving the veteran defenseman in a pool of blood. Quick took it from there, finishing a star-making two months by allowing just seven goals in six finals games.
"You never know. You get to the dance, you never know what's going to happen," Brown said. "We calmed down after losing two. It was the first time we had done that all playoffs, and we finally got off to a good start."
Martin Brodeur stopped 19 shots for the Eastern Conference champion Devils, just the third team to force a Game 6 in the finals after falling into an 0-3 hole. Rookie Adam Henrique ended Quick's shutout bid late in the second period after the Kings had built a 4-0 lead, but Lewis and Matt Greene added late goals for the Kings.
"We never lost our confidence," Quick said. "We had to take it on the chin to keep moving, losing two, and we looked at it as, `Hey, we still have to win one game to win a championship. And we have two chances.' Finally, we were able to do it at home."
The Kings steamrolled everyone in their path after barely making the playoffs, eliminating the top three seeds in the Western Conference in overwhelming fashion as they matched the second-fastest run to a title in modern NHL history. Although the Devils gave them a little trouble, the Kings boasted a talented, balanced roster that peaked at the absolute perfect time under midseason coaching hire Darryl Sutter.
Quick won the Conn Smythe Trophy, adding one more dominant game to a run in which he set NHL records for save percentage (.946) and goals-against average (1.41) among goalies who played at least 15 postseason games. Brown capped his own impressive playoff work by finishing with 20 points, tied for the postseason scoring lead with linemate Anze Kopitar.
And Brown, just the second American-born captain to raise the Cup after Dallas' Derian Hatcher, accomplished what even Wayne Gretzky couldn't do in eight years in Los Angeles.
Brown handed off the trophy to Willie Mitchell, the 35-year-old defenseman who had never won a title. Mitchell gave it to long-injured and recently returned forward Simon Gagne, who nearly tripped before raising the Cup for the first time.
Sutter, the stone-faced Alberta farmer from a family of hockey-playing brothers, smiled like a kid at his first chance to lift the prize, and general manager Dean Lombardi even took a turn after declining it twice. Later, Justin Williams sat his crying daughter in the Cup, and Kopitar raised it while wearing a gold crown on his head.
After going on a 12-2 tear to the Western Conference title, the Kings won the first two games of the finals in overtime by identical 2-1 scores in New Jersey, leading many to assume another one-sided series victory was upcoming. Los Angeles then flattened the Devils 4-0 in Game 3, but missed its first chance to clinch on home ice when Henrique scored the tiebreaking goal with 4 minutes left in New Jersey's 3-1 win in Game 4.
The Devils then beat Los Angeles 2-1 in Game 5, earning another cross-country trip after becoming the third team in NHL history, and the first since 1945, to win twice after falling behind 0-3 in the finals.
"You don't give yourself a lot of room for error, finding yourselves in a pretty deep hole," Devils captain Zach Parise said. "It's hard, but we really felt like could get back in this and force a Game 7. We did give our best, but we just came up a bit short, unfortunately."
The Kings were the West's bottom seed after failing to clinch a playoff berth until right before their 81st game, but only because they underachieved for much of the season. Their talent finally came together under Sutter, who replaced the fired Terry Murray shortly before Christmas and turned Los Angeles into a contender by late February.
Five years after the Anaheim Ducks won California's first Stanley Cup, the Golden State's oldest team raised the second. The Kings also are the first team to win the Cup at home since those Ducks, and their fans appreciated the Hollywood touch.
Despite coming off their first back-to-back losses of the playoffs, the Kings started with impressive energy in Game 6, getting most of the good early scoring chances -- and then they got the break they needed when Bernier pushed Scuderi headfirst into the boards behind Quick's net. Scuderi stayed motionless for quite a while, eventually heading to the dressing room after leaving plenty of blood from his lacerated nose.
Bernier, a 27-year-old journeyman and depth forward with two goals in 24 playoff games this season, went to the locker room. The Devils complained Jarret Stoll received no penalty for checking Stephen Gionta into the boards between the benches a moment earlier.
"I wish I could take that play back," said Bernier. "I didn't want to hurt my team. I wanted to help them. This is extremely hard. It's been a long playoff run for us. To finish on that note, it's not fun for sure. But there's nothing I can do now."
The Kings then went to work on a power play that nearly measured up to the Miracle on Manchester -- the famed 1982 playoff game in which Los Angeles rallied from a 5-0 deficit in the third period against Edmonton with a dynamic power play.
Brown scored 53 seconds in, slickly redirecting Drew Doughty's low pass in front for his first goal since the Western Conference finals opener. Brown's physical play and goal-scoring in the first-round series against Vancouver set a tone for the entire playoffs, but New Jersey had effectively shut him down until Game 6.
Carter then scored his seventh goal of the postseason after Brown walked the puck out of the corner and fired a shot at Brodeur's glove side while skating away from the net. The midseason acquisition has been a dependable scorer ever since he was reunited with longtime Philadelphia teammate Mike Richards on the Kings' second line.
With the Los Angeles crowd on its feet, the Kings added another as rookie Dwight King ferociously drove the net and left a rebound for Lewis, who tucked it home for his first goal in 18 games. Staples Center was deafening for the rest of the first period, and Los Angeles went up 4-0 just 90 seconds into the second when Brown found Carter unchecked in the slot for a one-timer.
"It's pretty awesome," Sutter said.
"It's the feeling of seeing them so happy, the work that you go through. The first thing you think about as a coach -- these guys are all young enough, they've got to try it again."
NOTES: The Kings are the first team to clinch the Stanley Cup on their home ice since the Anaheim Ducks did it five years ago. They're also just the second No. 8 seed ever to make the finals. Edmonton lost in seven games in 2006. ... Only four Kings had previously won the Stanley Cup -- Dustin Penner, Scuderi, Justin Williams and Colin Fraser, who didn't contribute much to Chicago's 2010 run. ... David Beckham, Matthew Perry, James Gandolfini, Alyssa Milano and My Chemical Romance attended the game. My Chemical Romance's "Welcome to the Black Parade" has become the black-jerseyed Kings' unofficial anthem after its incorporation into a clever pregame video featuring photos of several Kings as kids.


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Project Members
- Juliette Blevins
- Andrew Garrett (University of California at Berkeley)
- and many others
Yurok Language Project
The Yurok language is spoken in northwestern California, as it has been spoken for
centuries, along the Klamath River from Wechpus (Weitchpec) to Rek'woy (Requa) and south along the Pacific coast to Churey (Trinidad). Neighboring languages include Tolowa, Wiyot, Chilula, Hupa, and Karok. Yurok is a Karok word for "downriver" people. The Yuroks call themselves 'oohl 'people'. At the time of first European contact in the nineteenth century, the Yurok language had several thousand speakers. Today there are less than a dozen native speakers, all elderly, and an active language revitalization program.
Yurok is related to its neighbor Wiyot, and both are distantly related to the Algonquian language languages spoken across central and eastern North America. The Algonquian language family includes Blackfoot, Cree, Lenape, Micmac, Mohican, Ojibwe, and many others. Linguists believe that all these languages descend from a single common ancestor spoken thousands of years ago, perhaps somewhere in present-day eastern Washington, Oregon or northern Idaho. The relations and history of these languages are areas of active research among linguists, archaeologists, and historians.
The Yurok Language Project was started in 2001 with a generous grant from the National Science Foundation to Juliette Blevins and Andrew Garrett. Continuing support has been provided by The University of California, Berkeley, and the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology. The goals of the project included language documentation, language archiving, and language description, including the creation of teaching and learning materials. Through fieldwork with fluent native speakers — recording grammatical material, words, and texts — as well as philological analysis of earlier fieldnotes and recordings, the team sought to develop a documentary corpus of Yurok that would be as comprehensive as possible and would contribute as much as possible to understanding the complexities of the Yurok language. New and older work on Yurok was also brought together into a single digital archive — incorporating material from as early as 1850 to the present day — and it is made available on the project website whenever possible and appropriate.
The project team contributed language-learning material and offers workshops for Yurok language revitalization programs. These programs included formal classes in public schools, community language classes, summer camps, and other activities sponsored by the Yurok Tribe language office and by community groups such as the Yurok Elder Wisdom Preservation Project. An on-line and printed dictionary have been created for use by Yurok speakers. Long-term goals included a comprehensive reference grammar, a full dictionary with examples from texts, and editions of Yurok-language narrative and other prose texts. For further details including a complete list of scholarly and other publications, please see the Project website. Wokhlew!
Some Language Learning Materials
Andrew Garrett, Juliette Blevins, and Lisa Conathan, Preliminary Yurok Dictionary (2005)
Juliette Blevins, Teacher Training for Yurok Pre-School Settings: Workshop for the Yurok Tribe (2003)
Aileen Figueroa and Juliette Blevins, Nee-kwech, Nee-kwech, Tee' Nee' Sho Ney-woo'm? (2003)
Some Research Papers
Juliette Blevins and Andrew Garrett, "The Rise and Fall of l Sandhi in California Algic" International Journal of American Linguistics 73 (2007) 72-93.
Juliette Blevins, "Yurok Verb Classes", International Journal of American Linguistics 71 (2005) 327-349.
Juliette Blevins, "The Phonology of Yurok Glottalized Sonorants: Segmental Fission Under Syllabification", International Journal of American Linguistics 69 (2003) 371-396
Contact Information
Yurok Language Project
Department of Linguistics
University of California
1203 Dwinelle Hall #2650
Berkeley, CA 94720-2650, USA
Our work has been supported by National Science Foundation under grant BCS-0004081 to the University of California, Berkeley, and by the University of California and the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology, Leipzig.


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Thousands of dogs will be fatally poisoned this Christmas
By the end of 2016 an estimated 6,609 dogs in the UK will have suffered chocolate poisoning, with over a quarter of cases (27 per cent) expected in December alone.
Reported cases of chocolate poisoning have also leapt by an estimated 25 per cent since 2015, according to figures from a leading pet insurance company.
Hide AdAdvertisement
Hide AdThe effects of chocolate poisoning - just one of the perils facing pooches this Christmas - are very serious and can be extremely dangerous to dogs, warn vets.
Chocolate contains theobromine - a stimulant similar to caffeine - which is highly toxic to dogs.
Small amounts of chocolate may only cause an upset stomach, but a large quantity can prove fatal.
According to insurance provider www.AnimalFriends.co.uk, which commissioned the research, the average cost of treatment for chocolate poisoning in dogs is £297.
Hide AdAdvertisement
Hide AdWestley Pearson, Claims & Marketing Director at Animalfriends.co.uk said: "If your dog has consumed a small amount of chocolate, you may find they experience vomiting or diarrhoea, either immediately or over the few hours after ingestion.
"Vomiting is a good sign, as it means your dog is getting rid of the poison, however you should still take your pet to your local vet.
"If your dog has eaten an excessive amount of chocolate, they may experience a feeling of restlessness and a sense of increased energy.
"This is followed by tremors, weakness and balance problems.
Hide AdAdvertisement
Hide Ad"It's very important that as soon as your dog has eaten the chocolate, you get them examined by a vet.
"Symptoms such as seizures, muscle spasms and even comas can occur as a result of chocolate poisoning, so take every precaution you can."
The figures were calculated using data on the number of chocolate-related claims filed to Animal Friends which was then extrapolated across the UK dog population.
Chocolate isn't the only danger to your dog this Christmas.
Hide AdAdvertisement
Hide AdHere is a list of the top things that can harm your pet over the festive period:
Bones - Even when cooked, animal bones can become brittle and splinter, causing severe internal issues for your pets. Turkey bones are especially dangerous as they're hollow, meaning that they splinter whether cooked or raw.
Christmas Cake and Mince Pies - While humans love them, Christmas pies and cakes contain dried fruit such as raisins, which are toxic to dogs and can make them seriously ill. Not to mention the fact that they are usually extremely high in fat and possibly alcohol, which is a no-no for your furry friend.
Nuts - Nuts have become a Christmas favourite, but not only could these be a choking hazard for your dog, but some nuts can cause them to suffer from vomiting and diarrhoea. Smaller dogs are particularly susceptible to stomach upset or obstruction when consuming nuts such as walnuts or pecans.
Hide AdAdvertisement
Hide AdChristmas tree - You should ensure that your tree is secured properly, as they are commonly knocked over by dogs and climbed by cats, which can potentially result in injury.
Pine needles - Ideally these should be cleaned up as soon as they drop because they can become embedded in paws and if left untreated may cause an infection.
Seasonal plants - Decorative Christmas plants like Mistletoe and Holly will give your dog extreme intestinal problems and abdominal pain if eaten, so should be kept well away from pets.
Tinsel and ribbons - While they look great draped over our picture frames, if decorations such as tinsel are eaten by our pets, they will not only cause stomach problems but your pet could choke on them, so keep them out of reach.


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Chad Billingsley (4-9, 4.30) Chris Capuano (9-4, 2.91) vs. Jason Marquis (3-9, 5.79).
Talk about a tough act to follow. Chad Billingsley, currently mired in longest losing streak of his career (five games), will try to restore order to the Dodgers' universe after the Padres hornswoggled Kenley Jansen in last night's game.
The good news is that the bats are back. In the first two games after the All-Star break, Mark Ellis, Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier have gone 11 for 24 with 4 RBIs and 5 runs. Plus, the Padres are still the Padres, with the last-place Phillies following them into town tomorrow. The healing starts now!
UPDATE: @kengurnick: "Chad Billingsley was scratched with an undisclosed injury and Chris Capuano will start today's game."


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Wednesday, July 4, 2012
The Depression Post.
The other, maybe bigger problem is that depression is still, if no longer a taboo subject, one that is largely misunderstood, and still somewhat embarrassing to admit. And it's why there are so many cases in which you don't find out that someone "suffers from depression" sometimes ever, or sometimes not until after they're gone. But I'm kind of tired, at age 50, of not talking about it, not even once, so I figure there's no better time than now, on the 4th of July, to talk about it. Consider it my Independence Day from my own shame around it.
So here's the main thing to know: I am not sad. Really. I don't need anyone to send me teddy bears or hugs, though of course both would be awesome and I wouldn't return them. Cash, too, would be great, preferably in small, unmarked bills. I have a great life: A great family, a great job, great friends. If this isn't entirely the life I envisioned for myself as a boy (I'd always wanted to be an English gravedigger), it is one that I feel pretty good about and won't complain about. Suffering from depression doesn't translate to the more casual use of "I'm depressed!" in the way you might say after, say, you've just eaten two Snicker bars in a row, or after discovering that Bristol Palin has her own reality TV show. It's not like that. Most of the time, most days, I'm just like everyone else: Plugging along, trying to avoid thoughts of my own mortality, and trying to squeeze the maximum amount out of fun and pleasure into days annoyingly riddled with real-world responsibility.
What it does do, though, especially on days when, for whatever reason, the meds aren't working well, or (worse) I either forget to take them or (way worse) convince myself I "don't need them anymore," is remove the floor from underneath my feet. Not literally, of course, because that would be rather disturbing and surreal and make me a walking public health hazard. But figuratively, it puts me off balance, quite often in a way I don't fully feel or see or understand until it's already kicked in in a bad way. Those few who are close to me who have known about my depression usually see it before I do. "You haven't taken your meds, have you?" they'll say--because the things I'm saying and my worldview and my energy level become different, different in ways I have no control over or no awareness around in the early stages.
The biggest bummer around it all, for me, is that even when I am being good, the pills don't eliminate it entirely. It's not an on/off switch. Shit seeps through. And the toll of this has affected every aspect of my life for decades. I have days where I can't write anything, decide anything, or really be much of an effective human being at all because of it. It's screwed up my ability to be a good friend, to focus, to be productive. It's kept me, at times, in a fog of self-doubt and self-hate, of low energy, of recrimination and regret over things not accomplished or things never even attempted. It's kept me in a perpetual state of wishing I could do things over again, of feeling like "I've failed" no matter what I accomplish or how many total strangers come up to me and say they like what I've done. I register it, I appreciate it (more than I can express), but it never fully overcomes my own internal dialog, so much of which is just a loud, mean, clattering cloud of noise that a few little pills do their best to dispel day after day. (And not just pills, either, I should say. They're not magic. They are supplemented by a steady, weekly decades-long stream of therapy, to talk the stuff out and get it out of my head.)
I should be clear about one thing. None of this is being written today to either elicit pity or to excuse myself from any choices or actions I've made in life. It's all on me. Always. It's like when people try to excuse their behavior because "they were drunk"--when of course part of them is always conscious. Any stupid or irresponsible thing I'm doing, or avoiding, is done with at least a chunk of awareness that I am doing (or not doing) that thing. The problem is that, even while seeing it, I can't grasp it by the horns and cut it out. This is the key issue. I see it, I'm aware of it, and yet I can't do anything about it. What the medication does, when it's really working, is just eliminate that aspect of it. It puts the floor back under my feet. It makes me have what I imagine to be the strength and resolve of "normal" people. I can act and respond and simply tell myself to keep going. To just write that email or call that person or finish that article rather than just sit in the chair for an hour and tell myself what a shitty, worthless person I am.
It's exhausting. I get tired of being me. It's so much noise all the time. I think about what I might have accomplished, or what my life might have been, if I didn't have to deal with this. But one thing I'm trying to come to grips with at age 50 - because if not now, when, dude? - is that fighting it is just a fool's game, and maybe a little bit of a cruel thing to do to myself. I mean, I'm never going to stop being hard on myself, ever, and I think a lot of that - depression aside - is good for a person. I want to constantly challenge myself and be better. So I'm not asking for a free ride for myself. What I think I am asking for is the ability to forgive myself for "only" being the person I am today, for "only" having the level of success (whatever that is) that I have - rather than some mythical, theoretical success I imagine some Alternative Jeff from Earth 2 to have. I guess, in a way, I'm asking myself not to "be depressed" over having depression. I'm stuck with it, and so my decision now is to accept and acknowledge it, rather than fight it and hide it and beat myself up about it, which is a guaranteed loser of a strategy.
Anyway, I hope I didn't depress you with this blog post. Though if I did, I might have a couple pills to recommend. Just kidding. It doesn't work that way. What I think I mainly want to say, and my bigger reason for writing this, is that if you are younger than me, or, heck, even older than me (if that's possible), and any of this sounds familiar or resonates, know that you are not alone, that it is probably more common than you think, and that there are solutions. There are ways to regulate it and control it. You too can go on to have a family, a home and a degree of success you might not think possible within the turmoil of your own noisy brain, as long as you're not afraid to acknowledge the problem and do something about it. I encourage you, strongly, to not give up, and not be afraid to seek help if you think you need it. Odds are you do, and odds are there are people, both personal and professional, ready right there to help you, if only you'll reach out. That itself is probably the hardest step you'll ever take. But it will be the most important one, too.
Okay. That's enough New Agey self-revelation and self-help for one 4th of July, don't you think? I have a couple teeny little pills to swallow, and then after that I'm going to go out and have a kickass holiday with my friends and family. Here's hoping you have a great day - and life - too.
Remember that you deserve it.
97 comments:
Wow! You are the last person I would think was depressed. That's a compliment.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:06 AM
Great post Jeff.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:06 AM
It takes balls to make this information public. Even though you don't know who the hell I am, I'm proud of you. It's inspiring.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:10 AM
On a low right now, this hits close to home. More awareness is never a bad thing, good for you Jeff in saying this. Though I know it doesn't mean much you have always portrayed yourself in such a way I never would have guessed this. It doesn't change anything, you're still a fantastic individual that just also suffers from depression. You have brought a lot of laughter over the years into my life, and I'm sure done the same for many others.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:15 AM
Haven't even finished this post but I wanted to comment, I have followed you since CGW, and you are the last person I would have thought to have depression. Thank you for being so open, my g/f has been battling depression for years and it feels good to have people out there talk about it. It's easy to feel sometimes your are your own depression Island. Lots of love Jeff and thank you
- July 4, 2012 at 11:16 AM
- Unknown said...
Thanks Jeff, this helps humanize depression and will surely inspire at least a few people to get help. Do you get sexual side effects with the meds? It's an awful problem with SSRIs and makes them very difficult to stay on long-term, a fact I've struggled with for years. It's such a cruel twist to otherwise effective meds.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Thanks for writing this, Jeff. Seriously. It's nice for people to know that they're not alone.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:17 AM
As someone who struggles with depression on a daily basis, reading this post was like a ray of light in the darkness. Thank you so much for writing it.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:18 AM
Congratulations on finding the strength to share this Jeff, and I hope it's helpful not just for others who may read it but also for you. There's someone in my life with a similar condition and, as I'm sure you know, it's often the case that those of us (thankfully) not afflicted find it difficult to understand why someone with clinical depression acts or thinks like they do sometimes. Which is all to say that dialogue around this can only be good. I applaud you for your openness and I hope you find all that fun & beauty that you seek each day. Each of us can only keep seeking it.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:20 AM
- Rmack said...
Thank you, Jeff. I've been in the same boat for years and the way you described is amazingly accurate. I have trouble writing about it myself, not because I'm afraid of what people will think of me, but because a part of me is scared I'll not be able to do it justice, so to speak. It's a very hard ailment to describe. Regardless, your work has brought me many laughs and I'm happy for you right now.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:22 AM
Wow, I wish I could even muster the courage to tell my family, let alone the whole world.
For me it's the cycles that make it a living hell, never knowing for sure if tomorrow is going to be a good or bad day. - July 4, 2012 at 11:22 AM
- Unknown said...
Wow. This popped up in my Reader while I was ruminating on the role this condition might be playing in some of my present difficulties. Great timing! :)
Yeah, this resonates. Thanks, Jeff. Love your work. - July 4, 2012 at 11:22 AM
Thank you.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:27 AM
- Ed said...
Thanks for the post. That third to the last paragraph is encouraging.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:29 AM
I told my parents for the first time about my depression only last week. It's so strange that you wrote exactly what I was feeling but then I guess it's not that strange at all. Cheers for writing this, I have a feeling I'm going to refer to it a lot
- July 4, 2012 at 11:31 AM
- Keith said...
You just did a very brave, good, and unselfish thing there. No wonder I've been following you for so long. Thanks.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:36 AM
- NintendoLegend said...
Keep kicking ass, Jeff. This was written with a fantastic mix of sincerity, skill, and insight. I appreciate it.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:36 AM
Jeff, you are a legend.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:38 AM
That explains why you gave Crysis an 8.5! Hehe jk. Dude I'm in the belief that we all go through depression one way or another. What counts is what you decide to do regardless of that chip on your shoulder. You made a family and have left a mark in your chosen profession. We should all be so lucky (I hope I can achieve half the things you have). Trudge on my friend.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:40 AM
That explains why you gave Crysis an 8.5! Hehe jk. Dude I'm in the belief that we all go through depression one way or another. What counts is what you decide to do regardless of that chip on your shoulder. You made a family and have left a mark in your chosen profession. We should all be so lucky (I hope I can achieve half the things you have). Trudge on my friend.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:41 AM
Thanks so much for posting this. I know the daily struggle it is and know the feeling of "I could have accomplished so much more without it."
And it illustrates what depression does. You have done writing, podcasting, game design, internet personality, Xanthor book challenge... Didn't you write a play? You can be extremely accomplished but its tough to feel good about oneself. - July 4, 2012 at 11:41 AM
Hmm, I thought that was just normal every day humdrum working life. Perhaps that's why I struggle to find the energy to do stuff :/
- July 4, 2012 at 11:42 AM
- Steven said...
Thank you Jeff for giving my experience a clear voice.
I have become resigned to the fact that I have to manage my mental health daily, like others have to manage their physical health. But I agree--Having to be on guard about it, ever vigilant (not just for my sake, but importantly for all my loved ones) is a bit of a bummer. Still, reading your pellucid thoughts on the matter makes me happy, gives me a place to go to for a reminder of how it is and how to keep a good perspective on our mutual affliction! - July 4, 2012 at 11:44 AM
Thanks Jeff.
- July 4, 2012 at 11:54 AM
Interesting stuff. Good to see someone having courage while dealing with a tough issue.
I've had family who dealt with depression when I was younger, but always looked at it from an ignorant point of view. I used to think it was just them feeling sorry for themselves.
It's always good to gain more knowledge about issues that can affect oneself and their family and friends. This was enlightening. Thanks Mr.Green. - July 4, 2012 at 11:57 AM
An impactful read. If you'd care to respond/update with some practical advice/info about those first steps to take, it would be much appreciated.
- July 4, 2012 at 12:00 PM
I saw you at PAX East this year Jeff, and thought about coming up to you and just thanking you for all the enjoyment you've brought me over the years. And then I thought about it, hesitated, and decided "Nah, Jeff's too awesome to need one more pat on the back". I regret that now.
I'l make a point of actually saying something next year, but just know there are a TON of us out there who think you're great, and take much inspiration from your blog, from your work and from your example as a human being. - July 4, 2012 at 12:12 PM
People don't understand what depression means. It's not about being sad. It's a crippling disability, and when it comes over you it takes over your whole mind. It can take you out of reality for days and weeks and months. I'm also angry at how this condition affected my whole life, professionally and personally, and how much it took away from me. Thanks for the post, I hope it helps people understand that depression is a medical condition.
It's kind of sad, that this subject made me write my first comment, I'm allways glad to read your Blogposts. Thanks, And sorry for the bad English, I'm not a native speaker. - July 4, 2012 at 12:12 PM
Wow... I am everything you described and was always confused about. It's starting to make a little more sense to me now. Thank You.
- July 4, 2012 at 12:16 PM
Very nice post Jeff. I bet you feel like a million bucks after getting this out.
- July 4, 2012 at 12:16 PM
Really interesting post, Jeff. You're open discussion of these personal aspects of depression will provide others an opportunity of understanding those in their own lives dealing with depression.
On a related note, not sure if you've already listened to this, but Rachel Maddow's recent interview on NPR's Fresh Air includes a discussion of her own depression since childhood. Really interesting to hear her talk about coping with her depression given her weighty responsibilities as the host of a cable news show. - July 4, 2012 at 12:19 PM
Forgot the link to the Rachel Maddow NPR interview...
Also, please forgive my incorrect use of "You're" instead of "Your" in my previous comment. :-) - July 4, 2012 at 12:21 PM
As a 21 year old with depression this was a good thing to read thank you.
- July 4, 2012 at 12:28 PM
- Sme11 said...
A lot of that sounded familiar, but I don't think it's overbearing enough for me to ever think I have depression. A few of my friends have talked about depression and I think it's really hard to relate to. My sister has poked fun (I don't fully know if she was being serious or not) at me, saying I was a Nihilist. I don't feel like it's a big problem in my life, but I hope it doesn't get to that point. From a low ranking public school, I'm heading to a pretty difficult college this fall. I bet I'll be able to handle it, I don't have a life plan or anything, I've got a major picked out, I just trust things will work themselves out. I haven't played video games in a while due to my realization of their lack of productivity, so I've been trying to keep myself busy with my friends so I'm not just doing nothing all day, letting my mind wander. I've started writing, not about anything in particular, but I usually try to get my thoughts out (kinda like what I'm doing in this post. Likewise, I don't want any pity or anything). I guess if there's something I want to know, it would be to understand depression and be able to help my friends out. Or at least some things to tell them. I'm sure there are tons of resources online that I haven't checked out yet. Understanding depression would be a nice issue to fix.
- July 4, 2012 at 12:46 PM
- Brett said...
I wouldn't consider myself a depressed person, but I suspect that it is far more common that people would admit. I don't think that there is a person on the planet who hasn't needlessly replayed some decades old "tapes"."I should have stood up to that person in high school" "How could I have said that aloud?" "Jesus Christ I can be an asshole." "Why can't I stay focused on the important stuff."
I think you're in pretty good company... - July 4, 2012 at 12:47 PM
My Mom was told that she needed a bunch of medication to feel better and it killed her. The doctors did not talk to eachother and right before she died she was on 48 different medications for different things including being depressed.
I appreciate your post. You would have to be a strong person in order to write something like this. The doctors gave excuse after excuse as to why she was not getting any better. You give none and that is a sign of great strength. My Mom believed all of them. Don't. All they want is the money. I understand that being depressed is a real condition I just do not think that doctors know the brain as well as they all think they do. Keep doing what you love. Wake up each day and remind yourself of what a great life you have. Continue to be you because that is fantastic! - July 4, 2012 at 12:59 PM
Been working on getting my meds dialed in. I think I'm close to the right dose. Thanks for the great post. I always enjoy your writing and crack me up with your twitter posts. - July 4, 2012 at 1:01 PM
Thanks Jeff for sharing.
- July 4, 2012 at 1:30 PM
- Unknown said...
I'm glad you wrote this amazing post Jeff. With this public admission, you are and will always be a much braver man than I.
- July 4, 2012 at 1:48 PM
Absolutely what I needed to read. I hope I'm where you're at in twenty-five years.
- July 4, 2012 at 3:29 PM
- Jeff Green said...
Thanks for all your thoughtful comments, all. The remark I've seen both here and on Twitter about being "the last person they'd think was depressed" is part of the reason I posted. Because I know I emit a "happy" persona, which, you know, is real. :) That was why I posted. To demonstrate that depression is not about being "happy" or "sad" but can actually be a clinical condition or state that is sort of deeper than an emotional state. I can be totally happy and still have depression. If you can get your head around that.
On the one question about sexual side effects of anti-depressants: They can be known to decrease libido, yes. Depends on the drug and the person. I tried one that did that, and needless to say, switched as soon as I figured it out. :) - July 4, 2012 at 4:15 PM
This attitude of "we all go through depression in one way or another" really demeans those like Jeff who have serious depression. It's not the same as feeling depressed or discouraged sometimes, it's a real illness.
- July 4, 2012 at 5:55 PM
You rock, Jeff! Keep on fighting the good fight!
"Cash, too, would be great, preferably in small, unmarked bills."
Nice try, Jeffe Green. - July 4, 2012 at 7:48 PM
Thanks Jeff.
- July 4, 2012 at 8:17 PM
inspiration to middle class white people.
- July 4, 2012 at 8:29 PM
- Unknown said...
Hi Jeff!
Your post was so inspiring. Your courage makes me want to say this.
I'm a video game Producer in Brisbane Australia, I'm Female and I'm 26. I have been taking antidepressants for 11 years now.
It's hard to get past the stigma sometimes. So thank you for sharing! - July 4, 2012 at 9:27 PM
- CallMeSarge said...
This blog post actually jolted me in my seet. It made me think. Thanks Jeff.
- July 4, 2012 at 10:55 PM
- Unknown said...
Mr. Green,
I have been reading words you have written (here at this blog and at GFW and EGM) and listening to things you have said (podcasts)for a long time. You have been a fixture. I say this because I am new to you, but in the ways you have chosen to express yourself over the internet and in print, you are not new to me. I appreciate your voice. I have found wisdom in the things you say.
I too spend a lot of time in my own head. The constant shuffling and pacing and reshuffling I do in that space can sometimes incapacitate what I feel is my better (or at least more assertive) judgement. I wonder whether my life is what it could be, and I miss what I think are opportunities because of self-doubt and the endless cycling of options and frames of reference that I cannot help but subject myself to. I wonder sometimes how others can possibly be as confident as they seem. I wonder if the options, the possibilities, have just not occurred to some, or if, unlike me, they have managed to find the harmony in all the dissonance. I have days without hope, and fewer and fewer days that leave me inspired.
Anyway, I want you to know that I think you are courageous. The subject of your post is to me the most personal thing there is. I convince myself regularly that the depression can't be what I think it is, and I'm just not doing enough, not applying myself appropriately. You've convinced me to look at it differently. Thank you. I'm going to keep on reading.
Alex Fleck - July 4, 2012 at 11:36 PM
Jeff, thank you so much for being open about all this.
I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression very recently, and am now in the process of coming to grips with it all. Knowing that someone with mental health issues can still be as successful and awesome as you fills me with hope. - July 4, 2012 at 11:38 PM
I love you Jeff, thanks for this.
- July 5, 2012 at 12:58 AM
- Macababe said...
It is also different for people who have experienced only one depressive episode. My mother is one of these. She still finds it incredibly difficult to understand my experiences with chronic depression. Maybe everyone does have some sort of depressive episode in their life, but it is very different to have to struggle with it every year, month, day of your life. Thank you Jeff for writing this, and giving such a good explanation of what it is like.
- July 5, 2012 at 3:36 AM
Thank you for writing this! This actually does sound VERY familiar (like, in parts, spot on) to what I've been going through for a few years now (I'm 28 ... yes, a baby in comparison :P).
Again, thank you for sharing this with the world. It already brought some clarity for me and actually did make me feel "not alone" (without having to watch Lisa Marie Presley and MJ hang out half naked in some kind of wondrous temple).
*virtualteddybearsuperhug!* :D - July 5, 2012 at 11:07 AM
I think I know how you feel much of what you said has been happening to me as I get closer to my 30th birthday it seems to get worse every year and started about back in 2008. Before then I felt fantastic and did not let too much bother me most of the time.
I still felt fresh out of high school even though I had been out for years I felt good where I was at somewhat though I did miss everybody I hanged out with in high school and grade school. I have been in collage what feels like a long time to me I go part time to it I take around 1 or 2 classes at a time so I can put out my best work and focus on it more and It has been a long time longer than the normal collage years. Oh and I changed my mind a few time I took stuff that I did not even really need did not help.
I final decided I wanted to do 3d modeling/3d graphics/3d studio max/maya in polygons for games since I have been fascinated with them since I was 10 and virtual fighter and start fox hit the scene in 1993 and toy story 2 years after that. I started out in programming and decided it was to stressful to do for years so I decided to do this even though I was never that great of an artist but for some reason I get how to make crap out of polygons I do not know why I just make sense to me. So I went for it even though I had to do all this "traditional art and drawing to get a degree and have any hope of a game company looking at me. I enjoy it when I am not in panic that I will fail and never get a job and my dream of working on a good game everybody loves be shot to hell.
So Then I started to feel like crap and a total failure hell I still feel that way I feel like the entire world expect me to reach all my life's accomplishments by the time I am out of my twenties and I have not reached any of the or my own place of where I want to be
I should be married and dating according to the world around me even though I Do not want to be married or dating right now or maybe even ever I got other stuff I want to do now I don't really care, I dumped my first girlfriend for a reason I did not care for life that way. I rather just fuckign hang out with people and have fun, I don't want her there 24 hours a day its fucking smothering.
Yet the entire fucking world thinks I have to live up to some crap perfect 20 to 30 years of age male image of what they call a "normal life"…. Oh and to complicate that farther for me I think I may in fact be bisexual and I have no Idea what the fuck is going on with me right now in that department. I guess I am loser since I don't have any that is what I am hearing.
Oh and I should be driving I guess and have a license even though I don't own a car and cant afford insurance then what is the point of me taking time out to do that when I have nothing to drive anyway? - July 5, 2012 at 12:26 PM
2. I get crap from the world around living at home even I am trying my fucking best to get a job I like and make fucking money. Yes there is even a fucking movie that gives me crap about it called ironically "Jeff lives at home" that I will never see. I like having my parents around with me everyday, hell my fucking sister don't even live that far away it's I like being close Hell in fact they fucking said they would rather have me stay than move out.
Crap telling me how I should be as a "adult American male" by a certain age is everywhere I fucking look now of days on the news on movies/ stupid internet articles comments.
So yeah the kicker was last year was my 10 year high school reunion that I did not go to because I did not want to explain what I was doing and hear how everybody else I new Is successful and living up to this perfect American Male image (Oh and I made the mistake of looking up some people knew online who have done way more than me and one dude is in the fucking army and did way more crap than I ever will)
and this year somebody I knew gradated high school a few weeks the same High school I did 11 years ago… some of the same teachers still there the same fucking red carpet and chairs same place, same school song. That did that I ended up feel totally worthless. I feel like the entire world is Rushing me and pushing me to be somewhere and I am not doing it or doing it fucking fast enough.
That night I ended up on the floor locked in a bathroom crying for a few hours and feeling like the worlds biggest loser and hoping something will kill me (I am too scared of pain to do it my self) since I am also fucking scared to death I wont make in the game business world or anywhere else and I have not been the same since. I felt mildly bad everyday starting 2008 but now I feel horrible pretty much every single day And the only thing I can do about it is try to keep my self occupied like I have been for years by watching TV/playing games/surfing the internet/positing comments on the internet/ working on 3d models/whatever. To keep my mind off it though I wish I had some pills but If I said to anybody in my family or anything how much I feel like ass or tip them off I will ruin that perfect image they expect me to have. - July 5, 2012 at 12:29 PM
Oh and of course turning 30 is making me feel old as fuck ontop of that........
God 1992 was 20 fucking years ago and I was having fun with my damn 486 PC and my super nintendo and my genesis with a fucking copy sonic 2 and then I remember I a fucking 30 now and Have to move into the fucking adult world....
though they have been fucking telling me that since I was in my 20ish something ages but you could fucking get away with it in your early 20s now I cant.
God I wish I could go back to when everything was fucking simple and I was more fucking happy. I fell like i have wasted my entire 20s way and got nothing to show for it and I will be old soon.
Oh and I hear people looking to give people jobs hate old 30 year oldish peoples just out of collage that is called old so I will never get highered anywhere in this econmyu ;
f5 - July 5, 2012 at 12:36 PM
Hello, my name if James. I also have bouts with depression, and I've always found talking with someone about it to be very helpful. You have provided me (Some goon you haven't and probably never will meet) with hours and hours of fun times through your podcasts, articles, etc. I understand that even though I have such positive feelings toward you and the GFW crew, it doesn't change the feelings of worthlessness one struggles with. But at least you've brought joy to (likely) lots and lots of people. Imagine all of us in a room hanging out :)
I'm not sure what your feelings are religiously, but regardless of your religious upbringing, I have found taking a serious study of world religions helpful in coming to terms with the eventual outcome of death. I was born with a heart defect, and my life span will likely not be very long unless some very risky surgery succeeds. As an American I was born into a Christian family, but how do I know that it's correct? If I were born in Israel I would be raised Jewish or Muslim. Japan? Buddhist or Shinto.
I'm not saying you need to go on a "spiritual journey" or anything like that (Although I did spend some time in Asia and the Middle East to investigate religious stuff), a simple study of different world religions made it a lot easier to come to terms with my [likely] short amount of time left. And if they're all wrong, at least the unknown answer doesn't sit there like a big retarded elephant.
I don't know, it was helpful for me. - July 5, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Great write up Jeff, this does help as I was on the medication bus for depression. I departed the bus and have therapy now, I fight the noise and try to soldier on. You have shed a new light and I would like to say, Thank you.
- July 5, 2012 at 4:33 PM
- Jeffrey said...
I've been reading your columns and listening since I was about 11 years old. I'm 26 now, and I can identify with what you just wrote; more than ever anything before.
It's been a week now since I've started taking medication, and I've been unsure whether it was the right thing to do (I haven't talked to a psychiatrist, only my doctor for a moment).
I'm just glad that I saw this. I've never read or heard from anyone with such similar problems. It's reassuring that I'm doing the right thing, and that it's not just me.
I hope your holiday was well. Thank you for sharing. - July 6, 2012 at 1:10 PM
As someone who has followed your writing for years I can truly say you are a hero. Best of luck in your battle. I admire your courage.
- July 6, 2012 at 7:25 PM
Wow. Amazing. I concur totally, and feel the same way often. I was diagnosed with depression in the late 90s (I'm 34 now) while in college and it prevented me (along with some bad choices that were motivated by the depression and agreed upon by myself who allowed the depression to beat me into submission) from finishing college. I now know I can't go back. I may get a degree at some point but also know I probably won't. But that's okay. I have an AMAZING wife and three beautiful, if not difficult children, and while I'm currently unemployed, I'm doing it while helping out family (I'm currently Mr. Mom, which the Michael Keaton comedy of the same nomenclature is spot-on in many instances, honestly...although I do hope to never frequent a male strip club) Point is (and yes, I didn't end that last sentence grammatically correct...sue me!) that I am indeed happy with my life. I don't take medication anymore as the medication I was one before helped me mostly to see the wave coming before it hit. It didn't do much to change the wave's effect on me, so I stopped taking it. But I've learned to live with the waves crashing, because most days I can see them coming and adjust before they drown me. Most days, at least... :) But I'm a blessed man. And I'm doubly blessed by reading your well written post. (You should write professionally, man! HAR, HAR!) Thanks for sharing, Jeff. You rock!
- July 7, 2012 at 12:18 AM
- Paulo Marques said...
Hot dogs:
I can relate a lot to what you said.
You should definitely get help, there's some hotlines you can call there in the states, you should look it up. Or post on reddit.com/r/suicidewatch, they can help you. I really hope you can find some peace.
Apart from repeating what everyone else said, it's kind of depressing that someone as accomplished as you can't get over it.
But I've come to accept that this is part of me and it's never going to leave, and it at least helps me understand a bit better how the mind works.
You kind of helped me see that I'm stuck in a rut and haven't been trying enough to get over it. Maybe I need anti depressants again, because I'm feeling a huge crash coming my way and that my relationship is falling apart because I'm being complacent.
You're an amazing person, I should resubscribe to your blog again. Funny how I got here again thanks to a series of links that started with 3ma. - July 7, 2012 at 8:06 AM
- Andrew Dixon said...
I feel much the same way Jeff. I do everything in my power to avoid taking drugs.
Avoid the processed food, eat plenty of fat, especially saturated fat. Check for heavy metal toxicity and parasite infections.
Self love is tough for many of us, especially if your hormones are out of whack.
Emotional Freedom Technique and The Sedona Method. Very valuable tools. - July 7, 2012 at 12:23 PM
- by Aurok said...
One thing that gives me strength as a christian is that the only thing separating this place from heaven is the way we treat eachother. One thing that gives strength as an atheist is that no worldly event can inject or drain chemicals from my brain: so long as I am eating right, exercising, and taking the right medication for me, I have - in principle - total control over my emotions. One thing that gives me strength as a gamer is that developing my emotional range, being sensitive to everything I see and experience, makes it easier to connect with more people more deeply, and makes me more alive for it.
I've battled depression for 16 of my 28 years, and I've learned that all the things that cripple me affect everyone else as well, and I can draw strength from seeing them carrying it, and they will in turn draw strength from me. Sharing your experience is an incredible act of love, Jeff, and one I thank you for deeply.
It completely blows my mind that all the times you made me laugh hysterically on a podcast, even as I was in the grip of depression, you were fighting the same way. Thank you. - July 9, 2012 at 12:05 PM
Avoid Reading Mockingjay, the last book of the Hunger Games series, the freaking book made me feel very depressed and hopeless for days...
- July 10, 2012 at 10:22 AM
- Samantha Kalman said...
Thanks for opening up and sharing this, Jeff. I agree with so many of the commenters; you are a very inspiring person. I think sometimes the most creative, genuine people are also the most self-critical. I know that if you keep at it, you'll come to a place beyond depression. You deserve to be freed from that burden.
It's an honor to be your friend. Next time you're in Seattle, let's meditate in the park in the warm air. - July 12, 2012 at 2:37 PM
I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. I'm twenty-one now and still don't know what to do with my life and don't enjoy doing anything productive unless I'm high or drunk. I will say thanks to you, though. One thing besides meds, exercise, and meditation that has always helped me when I am particularly depressed is distracting myself. You always helped with that, Jeff. Between your columns, blog posts, and podcasts you must have saved me at least a couple hundred hours of misery.
Thanks. - July 12, 2012 at 9:03 PM
Fantastic post, Jeff.
Sorry to hear about your long battle with depression, but think you're doing a great thing to talk about it openly.
The more people openly talk about it; hopefully the less people will feel this completely unfair and unnecessary stigma and will get the help and support they need.
I hope your brave words help lighten the load for others struggling alone.
Longtime fan of your posts and podcasts, and wish you had time to produce more. (I know, only so much genius to go around :)).
Keep on truckin'
- Calbry - July 16, 2012 at 12:35 PM
- Unknown said...
I wish you knew how much this post meant to me. Thanks Jeff.
- July 16, 2012 at 8:33 PM
This post also meant a lot to me, Jeff! If a great guy like you can do everything he's accomplished with depression, maybe I can make something of myself too.
- July 17, 2012 at 2:27 PM
The back page of CGW was the place I always went to feel better about things. It was as if you knew how shitty I felt, and what exactly would make it go away, even if just for a moment.
I don't think you could've done that for me - and many others - if you didn't have this condition.
I admire that you've chosen to wear it proudly now. - July 22, 2012 at 12:12 AM
Hi Jeff, hope you can answer my question. In the fourth paragraph you talk about how not taking the meds changes you. What kind of things have you said, how was your worldview, your energy level affected, when not on meds? Always negatively?
Thank you, Richard - July 22, 2012 at 5:57 AM
Thank you Jeff. After reading your comment I saw the same pattern in myself. I didn't even realize it but the last couple of years I've been paralyzed. Unable to do much of anything, but seeing how a awesome person like yourself has the same problems, I've decided I'm going to get help. Thank you so much for sharing.
- July 22, 2012 at 2:47 PM
- Jeff Green said...
When not taking the meds, it's a bit like I described in the post: "not having a floor under my feet." In other words, everything just seems much harder than it should, things seem impossible. I get a defeatist attitude. Which then leads me to beat myself up for being defeatist. It turns into a vicious circle that ultimately leaves me paralyzed. The meds just kind of short circuit all of that and let me just push through without that garbage bogging me down. Hope that helps...
--Jeff - July 23, 2012 at 4:22 PM
- What To Do When said...
Thanks for sharing this nice and informative post. The best cure to fight with depression is do regular exercise. Benefit of this is your body tends to liberate chemicals with the increase in the level of your physical work out. This will automatically enhance your mood and your tolerance power to bear any sort of pain and agony.
- July 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
- Zoloft lawsuit said...
It takes a lot of courage and dignity to admit that what you're undergoing is already clinical depression and more so making it public.
Kudos to you for being strong and brave enough to face reality. - July 30, 2012 at 4:39 AM
- Unknown said...
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- african woman said...
This is one of the great post I've ever read. It really inspires me while reading. I will surely share this one to my friend who tends to get depressed easily specially to her love life.
- August 27, 2012 at 9:12 PM
Well said, Jeff. I'm right there with you. I have a great life, a great job, and yet I still considered driving to Montana one random Tuesday morning to escape it all. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Depression warps everything.
- August 28, 2012 at 1:03 PM
Wow - your story really resonated with me. I don't have depression myself, but I've lived with a family member that has clinical depression for my entire life - in her case it's so bad that she tried to commit suicide twice. I've seen just how devastating depression can be on someone's psyche. I've been there when the person that brought me into this world is bawling for hours because she believes nobody loves her, she's a worthless piece of shit, and we would be better off without her. I've been the target of her fury over the most minor things and I've comforted her when she's feeling so profoundly hopeless that she won't leave her room for days at a time.
But despite everything I've had to deal with, including an anxiety disorder likely caused in part by her actions, she's an absolute inspiration to me. Because she doesn't let herself be defined by her disorder. Because she gets up in the morning and smiles through her pain. Because despite the debilitating feelings I know are bouncing around in her head she has a full social life. Because she finds it in her heart to love me, and my sister, and my father, and my dogs, and her mother, and her father, despite the fact that she can't fucking love herself.
I think it's bullshit that mental illness is swept under the rug in today's society. After all, there are more people with depression in the united states than identify themselves as gay. One in four Americans suffers from at least one mental illness. And you never hear about those people. And that's a load of crap.
I guess I'm telling you all this to tell you the same thing you told us in your blog post: you're not alone, and you're not worthless. The fact that you were able to tell the internet is frankly amazing because it's just not something people do. So reading through your story reminded me why I'm studying to become a psychologist - to help people trapped by the very thing that should free them, their own mind. Thank you for your courage, Jeff, and I know my saying so won't make a difference when you're in that depressive state, but I'll say it anyways: you have worth. - September 15, 2012 at 10:38 AM
I suffered for years at a time, and I took medication for the better part of six months. I am taking Ashwagandha and it alleviates that pain, along with therapy etc.
I gave into therapy and asking my family for help after a trip to Costa Rica, and having my depression reach a head, due to the constant activity, work, and fun. While wanting to end your life and demeaning yourself in front of a mirror, wanting to bash your head in. It was a fun time.
I listened to your stuff all the time four years ago. This helps quite a bit. Thank you. You can be a happy go lucky guy and be depressed. It happens!
I don't know how long this Indian ginseng will work, maybe it's been more of a placebo lately. But I am glad that it's something people go through and try work through their sadness, find a root of a problem logically. But it doesn't work like that. It takes a lot of little things and a way to break out of yourself. I used to hate myself, because I would say it every day while trying to survive through college. Endless amounts of comparisons with others in my mind, living at home when everyone leaves, feeling like you are trapped. How you view your situation can help stop this, even if the situation doesn't change.
Now in seven months, I will be moving on with my life elsewhere. The pain, tactics, and improved self-image is something I can bring with too.
- October 21, 2012 at 8:43 PM
Thank you, Jeff. You helped me realize some shit.
- January 12, 2013 at 8:25 PM
Thanks for posting this Jeff.
Can't say it made me feel better, but it has shined a dim light through the fog of despair for me trudge towards.
Thanks - January 16, 2013 at 2:28 PM
- Unknown said...
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- January 26, 2013 at 1:23 AM
- The Cheshire Cat said...
I'm 25, and trying to deal with my depression which is quite crippling. I am getting medicated and working with a therapist, but I also discovered something else that helps me personally. Check it out at my new blog.
keep up the good fight. - February 3, 2013 at 5:14 PM
I'm about your age and have the same problem - well, with some exciting other physical health problems tossed into the mix. But it was so nice to read someone write about the part where you have to learn to live with it, that it's not going away. The "oops, forgot to take your meds" - there's a bit of "maybe this time when I forget to take them I'll find out I don't need them anymore." For me anyway. Learning to accept that it's not the end of the world to be like this is still something I'm struggling with, and I've been diagnosed and treated almost two decades now.
A lot of nice people can sympathize with you but at the same time be clueless to what all of this feels like. Which makes it really a relief to hear someone who has the problem say/write this sort of thing. Thanks for that. It helps. - March 11, 2013 at 3:01 PM
- The_Zack_Cantrell said...
Thank you.
- September 1, 2013 at 6:07 PM
- The_Zack_Cantrell said...
Earlier this week I made the decision to start seeking treatment. I'm scared and embarrassed and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. As the week progressed I've talked myself in and out of it at least of hundred times. This gave me the strength to finally just go through with it. My first appointment in Friday. So again, thank you.
- September 1, 2013 at 9:57 PM
This has just shown up on my RSS feed for some reason, I must have missed it the first time.
But anyway, thank you for posting this Jeff. I have been battling depression for some time myself and realized a few years into it that this will be a life long thing I have to deal with. Unfortunately the doctors don't tell you that, you discover it on one your downs after you stop taking the meds and think things will be alright. That is until something happens and you just cant get out of the lull by yourself again.
Reading this gives me hope that I can have a "normal" life, I just have to keep fighting. Thank you! - September 2, 2013 at 10:36 AM
Jeff, thanks very much for this post. I have fond memories of the podcasts you used to be on, to the point where some of them are intrinsically attached to moments in games I was playing as I listened to the episodes.
I happened upon this post as I was going through a period of transition in my own life, and what you wrote here helped. Thanks for sharing. There's still a stigma attached to depression (and mental illness in general), and the more that we recognize people in our own lives are affected by these conditions, the more we can accept that depression isn't a terminal condition.
Thanks again. - February 7, 2014 at 8:18 AM
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- Unknown said...
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- February 16, 2017 at 3:08 AM
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- December 3, 2017 at 9:41 PM
- Unknown said...
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- October 20, 2018 at 10:31 AM
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- April 15, 2019 at 10:26 PM
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- August 20, 2019 at 11:08 PM
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- January 29, 2020 at 12:02 AM