text:
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Entrepreneurs: Let's Make America Grate Again
Plus, this Obama guy has something against horses and bayonets, which is going to lose him the Amish vote, and the Romney one says he's going to support "small businesses," but is he going to put his money where his tongue hole is by giving incentives to douchebags in Brooklyn who make bayonets in their expensive live/work lofts, or by making Kickstarter profits exempt from federal income tax? Kickstarter is going to make this country great again--it's our economy's business incubator. If Henry Ford were getting started today he'd most certainly have used Kickstarter. "Hi, my name is Henry Ford," he'd say in the video he made with his iPhone in his parents' breakfast nook. "I hate Jews. Now give me money so I can make you a shitload of cars." So, what, are you going to crush Henry Ford with onerous income taxes and lots of nonsense about "equality" and "tolerance?" Sure, maybe if you want to be President...of Canada!
If you don't believe that Kickstarter-born businesses are going to make Apple look like a Mr. Softee truck in terms of sheer revenue, just consider some of the entrepreneurs seeking your investment--like Greta Bell and her bicycle-powered art carousel:
Like most Kickstarter artists, Greta Bell is going to give you something you never knew you wanted:
Just as long as you give her money and do pretty much everything else for her too:
Now, the carousel was perfected in the early 20th century, and unlike most other stuff from that era, such as polio or the music of Al Jolson, kids still love them. Nevertheless, apparently Greta Bell's brilliant idea is to chop one up and hook it up to a bicycle, which is the vintage amusement equivalent of doing a hasty fixie conversion on a classic road bike. Here's her pitch:
...and what?
That happened to me once. I'd had a few drinks and I was riding home. Before I knew it I got a little too absorbed in my Twitter timeline, and then all of a sudden I crashed into a half-scale replica of Michelangelo's David in a front yard in Carroll Gardens. Good thing I was wearing my helment--and an even better thing that I was wearing it down my pants, because one of the last remaining Italians in the neighborhood kicked me square in the "pants yabbies." (Italians are very hot-blooded, just ask Henry Ford.)
Still, you've got to admit that those old turn-of-the-century carousels just aren't psycho-sexual enough, which is why Greta Bell wants hers to feature pained panels depicting strangers' memories:
As the circus r/evolves I am inviting viewers to submit an image of their cherished object along with a description of why it is meaningful to them. I will then select from these and continually create new paintings to panel the carousel.
I can get behind that. In fact, I plan to furnish Greta Bell with one of my own cherished objects:
This cassette tape is deeply meaningful to me for two reasons. Firstly, it was a mixed tape given to me by a girl in high school who wore lots of black clothing. (Side one has lots of songs by bands like The Cure, The Smiths, and Depeche Mode. Side two is just a straight 90-minute recording of the WLIR radio station broadcast, mostly featuring songs by bands like The Cure, The Smiths, and Depeche Mode.) Secondly, shortly after she gave me the tape, there was "an incident" that I'll never forget:
It might take more than one panel for Greta Bell to tell the complete story of how the tape wound up there, but I can assure you it's perfectly plausible and that it could have happened to anybody. (Provided they weren't wearing pants.)
Oh, and if all that's not convincing enough, keep in mind that the carousel also doesn't work:
re/joice… and disappointment
Our trial run went well. We had an enthusiastic and supportive home town crowd. Shortly after this I was headed to Cornell University in Ithaca, New York to unveil the carousel for its world premier. Unfortunately, the complexity involved in setup was to great and I had to face the real disappointment of failure.
It's easy to face the real disappointment of failure when you haven't paid for it. It's like crashing a rental car.
Incidentally, remember the girl in high school who gave me that tape? Well, she's all grown up now, and she's running her own Kickstarter:
"'Bike Love' is an expression of who I am, how I own who I am, and how I respond to the world that I live in."
In most places this would not warrant a documentary, since this is how things work for most Americans:
--Who I Am: I'm me.
--How I Own Who I Am: I lease myself to a Walmart for 40 hours a week, the rest of the time I "own myself" by mixing prescription drugs with beer and watching porn.
--How I Respond to the World That I Live In: When it makes me angry, I shoot it.
See? Pretty simple.
However, this isn't the United States. This is Portland. There's a different gravitational field in Portland, and because of it even the most mundane act is imbued with significance:
Bike Love is an experiential narrative documentary film about Kara Minnehan's bike riding quest in Portland, Oregon. On December 1, 2011 Kara gave up her car for the purpose of experiencing the city's bike culture firsthand. Throughout the experience of living without a car, Kara is introduced to a new world, along with a range of challenges, allowing for self-exploration and personal growth.
I'm not sure giving up your car counts as a "quest" for "self-exploration and personal growth" when it's just the hand-me-down Volvo you got from your parents:
I bet someone got a sweet deal on a classic automobile. The only problem with it is that there's a Smiths tape stuck in the auto-reverse cassette deck that plays eternally, but all you have to do is turn the volume down and you're free from the plaintive crooning.
Also, you know what goes well together? "Feminism," "comedy," "performance art," and "sustainability:"
Paradoxically, comedy cannot exist in an environment that contains feminism, performance art, and sustainability; however, when you combine feminism, performance art, and sustainability, the results are generally comedic. It's just chemistry.
Speaking of chemistry, if Hollywood has taught us anything, it's that there must be synergy, which is why we need a documentary and a book and a soundtrack and a fashion show:
The Book:
Bike Love Documentary Project will also create a companion photography book, "Girls on Wheels", which will feature the inside story of the production process and characters in the film, as well as a diverse array of photographs of female cyclists in Portland, Oregon.
The Soundtrack:
Bike Love Documentary will compile a soundtrack for the film featuring local artists such as Tyler Stenson, Naomi Hooley, Luz Mendoza, and the Shook Twins. Following the premier of the film will be a show featuring live performances by a few of our artists.
Bicycle-Themed Fashion Show:
In June 2012, Bike Love hosted a bicycle-themed fashion show at Multnomah County Bike Fair to mark the end of Pedalpalooza - an entire month of daily themed bike rides in Portland, Oregon! On June 8, 2013 (the day of the film premier) Bike Love will host a 2nd Annual Bicycle Fashion Show, featuring local and international designers. Bicycles, bike apparel, bike vintage, and everyday fashion with a bike twist will be featured at the show!
I look forward to the theme ride about the documentary about the book about the soundtrack about the documentary, and to reveling in the triumphant success of an artistic endeavor that has yet to even happen.
Of course, we have our share of documentarians here in New York City, but they eschew the language of liberal arts colleges in favor of eerie voyeuristic earlobe POV:
I was completely riveted by this video since it felt like I was floating around New York City while attached to the side of a floating disembodied head:
As I watched, I also realized that to any onlookers this floating disembodied head probably looked like the Supreme Being from the movie "Time Bandits:"
And I was right!
And speaking of film, a reader tells me it's time for "Bike Smut 6," curated by "Poppy Cox:"
There will be plenty of schwul, a generous helping of lesbisch, and plenty of explizite szenen:
H · Hetero
S · Schwul
L · Lesbisch
T · Transgender
X · Explizite Szenen
NX · Keine expliziten Szenen
FT · Fetisch
A · Animation
F · Filme von Frauen
SW · Sexwork
D · Dokumentation
Though I'm guessing there won't be any of this:
EKM · Eine Kleine Nachtmusic
Nope, not even a little.
Lastly, another reader has forwarded me this campaign ad, in which we're threatened by a horrible future in which Americans are forced to ride bikes:
I agree this is a nightmare scenario. If everyone's riding bikes, who's left to run them over?!"
148 comments:
- October 23, 2012 at 11:25 AM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
- October 23, 2012 at 11:27 AM
Yay, podium
- October 23, 2012 at 11:28 AM
ok one of you is going to get your podium status taken away and i will step up!
- October 23, 2012 at 11:29 AM
- Kenny said...
- October 23, 2012 at 11:30 AM
- McFly said...
That tape turned out pretty shitty.
- October 23, 2012 at 11:31 AM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
I'm so tired of campaign season I just watched monday night football.
- October 23, 2012 at 11:32 AM
gee, bsnyc. it's not any of my business how you run your blog or anything. But it seems like maybe your mix tape friend from back in the day deserves some anonymity.
- October 23, 2012 at 11:34 AM
- geetus said...
From http://pvcycling.wordpress.com/2012/10/17/the-coming-confession/
"He will never apologize for tearing down those who opposed him or who rightly tagged him as a drug cheat. He will never say he's sorry for the damage he did to Emma O'Reilly, Betsy Andreu, Paul Kimmage, David Walsh, Greg Lemond, Tyler, Floyd, or any of the others he tarred as disgruntled liars, media hacks, serial perjurers, prostitutes, and worst of all, as ugly fat people."
When will Bikesnob's apology to Lemond and Kimmage come? Answer -- never. He's a dick. - October 23, 2012 at 11:34 AM
cycle - October 23, 2012 at 11:34 AM
- babble on said...
Tuesday Tuesday
So good to me
Tuedsay Tuesday
was all I hoped it would be... - October 23, 2012 at 11:35 AM
An 90-minute cassette tape is actually 45 minutes on each side.
NO WAY could sids 2 be90-minute recording of the WLIR radio station broadcast, mostly featuring songs by bands like The Cure, The Smiths, and Depeche Mode.
It probably just felt like it was 90 minutes... - October 23, 2012 at 11:36 AM
- October 23, 2012 at 11:37 AM
- BikeSnobNYC said...
I said,
Good point, it's been a very long time since I've used a cassette tape.
--Wildcat Rock Machine - October 23, 2012 at 11:37 AM
Top 20 - I'd like to thank my RSS reader and I couldn't have done it without the little icon in my system tray and also of course, the little people.
- October 23, 2012 at 11:41 AM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
What did you have for breakfast today babble?
- October 23, 2012 at 11:45 AM
- g said...
Given the way the folks in that commercial were riding those bikes, I don't think it would be very safe for anyone if they were to drive a car.
- October 23, 2012 at 11:46 AM
- Comment deleted said...
This author was devoured by pumas.
- October 23, 2012 at 11:47 AM
- BikeSnobNYC said...
Uh, okay, please extend to them my deepest apologies for cheating to win the Tour de France.
--Wildcat Rock Machine - October 23, 2012 at 11:55 AM
what faunt is the "Suddenly Art Appears" bokeh slide?
- October 23, 2012 at 11:58 AM
Feminism comedy is when in the middle of getting head, you exclaim "Charlie bit my finger!"
- October 23, 2012 at 12:00 PM
Feminism comedy is when in the middle of getting head, you exclaim "Charlie bit my finger!"
- October 23, 2012 at 12:00 PM
Why does she talk out of the right side of her mouth? Did she have a stroke? Or is she a Drew Barrymore fan?
- October 23, 2012 at 12:00 PM
- mikeweb said...
It will rain later. I won't take the bus.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:20 PM
- babble on said...
RCT - sex.
oh, and a rather comedic blend of an artistic, sustainable, feminist favourite - blueberries, yogurt and hemp hearts. And a matcha latte.
Thanks for asking.
You? - October 23, 2012 at 12:21 PM
I ride to work in Portland and did some self-exploration that helped me grow as a person while standing in the cold rain waiting for the fucking drawbridge to come down.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:22 PM
- McFly said...
1) Never release a "Kickstarter" on the mean streets of Ithaca, "Upstate" New York.
2) My wife tells me you are WAAAAYYYY OOFFFFFFF if you think that's where the tongue hole is.
3) I am pretty sure Babble is a weekend volunteer "mountie". Whereever problems flare up, she is on top of them(it). - October 23, 2012 at 12:24 PM
- babble on said...
comment deleted - there are a worse ways to go than death by pussy.
Mikeweb - you're a hero
McFly - one of us is slow off the start today, and it's not you. - October 23, 2012 at 12:28 PM
- October 23, 2012 at 12:29 PM
- grog said...
pained panels depicting strangers' memories: painted horses and bayonets.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:29 PM
- babble on said...
How DID you know? All this time I figured I was under cover.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:29 PM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
babs, I had a bagle toasted, and an orange. Not as good as your breakfast but it was ok. What's a hemp heart?
- October 23, 2012 at 12:31 PM
- babble on said...
Mountie Me
Mountie You
there is something we can do - October 23, 2012 at 12:31 PM
- babble on said...
aw fuck. There are waaaaay too many old songs in my head today.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:31 PM
- Comment deleted said...
I now have exactly *one* item on my bucket list. - October 23, 2012 at 12:32 PM
- babble on said...
Hemp hearts? Only the best form of protein available in plant form. Plus, it's loaded with omega 3, which is really good for boosting your brain power.
Clearly it's not working on me this morning, however. - October 23, 2012 at 12:34 PM
- singlespeedwaster said...
Grating into the Top 40 Cheese line-up....
- October 23, 2012 at 12:35 PM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
After the gas tax drops the streets will look like the worlds biggest transition area.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:40 PM
- JD0g said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:41 PM
- crosspalms said...
Working on experiential documentary about reading a bike blog. Exciting shots of me holding mouse and using down arrow key. Give me your money.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:44 PM
Reach out, touch faith
Aaaack--I can't quit humming--
Pick up the receiver, I'll make you a believer
Thanks, Snob. - October 23, 2012 at 12:45 PM
- McFly said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Babble....not just a man locked in a woman's body. Also a protein expert......wait...a....minute...
- October 23, 2012 at 12:49 PM
As of a couple minutes ago, the gas tax scare-ad had 101 dislikes and 0 likes. So awesome. I like it actually, because it's the first piece of mainstream discourse I've seen that comes so close to admitting THIS IS YOUR FUTURE, FATTY.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:49 PM
Get your fucking hand off my tit...
- October 23, 2012 at 12:50 PM
- mikeweb said...
Some people (probably socialist liberals) claim that Libya is in North Africa. - October 23, 2012 at 12:50 PM
- Marcel Da Chump said...
Retro-sex tape.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:53 PM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
Wildcat what a coincidence! I too had a friend in high school who wore black alot and listened to The Cure, The Smiths and Depeche Mode. We didn't do kinky stuff with our mix tapes like you guys but she did show me her boobs once.
- October 23, 2012 at 12:57 PM
Not a word about carbon fiber today. When is someone going to make bayonets out of some left-over 20 ton? Whoaa...see you on KickStarter!
- October 23, 2012 at 1:02 PM
The national republican congressional committee is responsible for:
a) the content of this ad
b) poorly inflated tires
c) Robs Fords
d) all of the above - October 23, 2012 at 1:03 PM
"How I Respond to the World That I Live In: When it makes me angry, I shoot it."
How did you know? Can you see me through this fucking machine? - October 23, 2012 at 1:04 PM
- McFly said...
That disembodied Time Bandits head looked eerily similar to Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. Who's the prettiest of them all?
Linus Gerderman, of course. That tender, young Randy Travis. Before the hit songs and naked cigarette procurement. - October 23, 2012 at 1:06 PM
I never make the podium because:
"these things take time
I know that I'm
the most inept
I've ever stepped" - October 23, 2012 at 1:13 PM
WRM, I couldn't even focus on the rest of the post knowing you were carousing (if carousing means getting tapes shoved up your tuchus) with shiksas in high school. A shanda.
-tuff wheel IIz! - October 23, 2012 at 1:15 PM
Cat 6 Rules!
- October 23, 2012 at 1:30 PM
- babble on said...
If I'm a man in a woman's body I must be a gay man...
- October 23, 2012 at 1:32 PM
Now that was good bloggage.
Too many rim shots to call out and too many pathetic things made comedic by a twist of perspective.
Thanks again for the laughs, Snob, your check is in the mail. - October 23, 2012 at 1:42 PM
- McFly said...
Sometimes I'm a man in a woman's body. I was yesterday...'bout ten after five. Kids were gone.
- October 23, 2012 at 1:42 PM
The earlobe POV documentarian would've really helped his cause if he'd let a fist smash into his face.
- October 23, 2012 at 1:44 PM
"this ad is paid for by the republican national"
Yeah, everything works out so much better when the entire American economy is floating on oil.
**dated a goth woman once and it was pretty fucking cool
- October 23, 2012 at 1:53 PM
- ken e. said...
obviously someone didn't wear enough black as youth... but breakfast IS my favorite meal.
- October 23, 2012 at 1:58 PM
I thought a rim shot was when you aimed for the tongue-hole and bullseye'd it.
- October 23, 2012 at 2:02 PM
- babble on said...
Me, too. Specially when it starts with sex.
- October 23, 2012 at 2:05 PM
I'm like a dog in heat, a freak without warning
- October 23, 2012 at 2:06 PM
Mr. Bike Snob, two things. Firstly, most Americans drive to our 40 hour a week Walmart jobs in our hand me down vintage Volvos, high gas prices or not. Next we drown the pain of seeing, on a daily basis, real life versions of "Walmart Shoppers" with gallons of cheap beer (it is all we can afford), because seeing real life "Walmart Shoppers" is TOO much for the psyches of even the most stalwart of Walmart employees to withstand.
- October 23, 2012 at 2:09 PM
- dcee604 said...
Tell me, who is the President of Canada?
Ah ha, it's a trick question, we don't have a President, but a Prime Minister!
back to eating my Canadian bacon and maple syrup.
- October 23, 2012 at 2:09 PM
- leroy said...
Sorry I'm late, had an acccident.
I was standing in Carroll Gardens waiting for my dog to do his business when I got hit by a beery guy on a bike engrossed in his cell phone.
My dog kicked him in the pants yabbies and started howling about calling PETA (he has them on speed dial).
It took a while to sort out.
Did I miss anything? - October 23, 2012 at 2:10 PM
- babble on said...
Just breakfast.
- October 23, 2012 at 2:13 PM
I was going to comment smugly on how terrible and patronising that political ad is, and how only American politicians could treat their voters with that little respect. Then I remembered the last political ad I saw in my country. Crap.
- October 23, 2012 at 2:15 PM
Canadans, poutine and smoked meets! plus "the best sausage he ever had" ??!?!! Jeesuz, Velobooze is sew totally rollin' with you're bikesmut themes tuesday...
http://velonews.competitor.com/2012/10/video/behind-the-barriers-directors-cut-slingers_262342 - October 23, 2012 at 2:21 PM
- Unknown said...
Interesting - http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/10/23/will-lance-armstrong-ever-fess-up-and-face-truth/
cycle - October 23, 2012 at 2:25 PM
Did you listen to the tape later. I have heard that x-rays will demagnetize a tape.
- October 23, 2012 at 2:27 PM
- Dennis said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- October 23, 2012 at 2:32 PM
Canada seems pretty cool. They drink alot. And smoke weed. VanCougar would be my first choice.
- October 23, 2012 at 2:33 PM
"Yeah the tape is stuck in the deck. It's Liscence to Ill. You mind trying to get it out young man?"
- October 23, 2012 at 2:35 PM
Did your rabbi shove that tape up your ass for making a goy mix?
- October 23, 2012 at 2:36 PM
- P. Bateman said...
i once forced myself to attend a performance art performance because for a quick moment i was blinded by the artists blond hair and nice body, so figured i'd give it a go.
it was on that evening, once she had finished folding and putting away imaginary clothes, and had then laid pebbles at the feet of the audience/spectators that surrounded her, that i realized i hate performance art and feminism.
i do still kind of wish i could have gotten a quick b.j. in her imaginary kitchen. or feminist prison or whatever the hell she was in. - October 23, 2012 at 2:41 PM
To 'Bike Snob NYC' commentaratti,
How do I know if I am really insane or just faking it?
It's Chas! Not Charlie! Not Charles, etc.!
Smarten up or I'll have one of my Waffen SS storm troopers decapitate you mo-fo! - October 23, 2012 at 2:49 PM
- Dennis said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- October 23, 2012 at 2:52 PM
Personally I prefer the anal insertion and subsequent removal of an 8 track tape as opposed to using a mere cassette tape.
- October 23, 2012 at 2:53 PM
Hardcore Music lovers prefer reel-to-reel insertions and removals.
- October 23, 2012 at 3:01 PM
Return the map. Return what you have stolen from me.
- October 23, 2012 at 3:05 PM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
Pretty much everything I know about Canada I learned from the The Red Green Show
- October 23, 2012 at 3:07 PM
- RANTWICK said...
I am a Canadian in Ontario who has no pants.
I found it odd that you were on about pants (or lack thereof) today. - October 23, 2012 at 3:11 PM
- babble on said...
Red Green is a bit highbrow. Check out Bob and Doug if you want to see how real Canadians live.
- October 23, 2012 at 3:15 PM
- McFly said...
Racer Dude says, "You can still ride it..."
Frilly says, "Do I HAVE to???"
True Story.
- October 23, 2012 at 3:23 PM
- babble on said...
Looks like you'll have to leave it to us mounties...
I'll ride it for you. - October 23, 2012 at 3:34 PM
Finish the story then...in a moment of badass bravado, I climbed back on & said "Let's Roll."
Recounting story of first MTB ride and subsequent first MTB crash. - October 23, 2012 at 3:38 PM
- JB said...
Imaginary b.j.
- October 23, 2012 at 3:40 PM
- babble on said...
JB - there's a lot to be said for the real mcoy.
Frilly - atta girl. A little badass bravado never hurt anyone. ish - October 23, 2012 at 3:49 PM
That looks like an early to mid 80's Volvo. The tape deck has long ago died and gone to Valhalla, or wherever Swedish car parts go to die (Boulder, Portland and Sarah Lawrence College are the Swedish car equivalent of purgatory).
- October 23, 2012 at 3:58 PM
Dennis @2:32
I kinda like the Ducks. Please tell me I can ride the Ducks without having to ride my ex first. PLEASE! - October 23, 2012 at 3:59 PM
Early '80's Volvo 240 DL
I'm sure it's still running somewhere.
Just padding the comments so Snobby can hit 100+
Carry On. - October 23, 2012 at 4:26 PM
- JB said...
Babs: They're the very bestest.
- October 23, 2012 at 4:27 PM
- leroy said...
Dear Mr. Manson @ 2:49 --
The poet philosopher Gilbert Gottfried answered that riddle a long time ago when he observed:
Last night I was having dinner with Charles Manson, and in the middle of dinner he turned to me and said, "Is it hot in here, or am I crazy?"
- October 23, 2012 at 4:49 PM
Plot of a feminism comedy:
A young woman in Portland is crowd funded
to spread bike love and in her travails discovers she owns who she is. - October 23, 2012 at 4:51 PM
You can have Ontario back and Robs Fords with it.
- October 23, 2012 at 4:51 PM
Isn't owning yourself slavery?
- October 23, 2012 at 4:54 PM
- babble on said...
Yes. Please. Take the Fords.
Apparently both Ontario and Alberta are likely to need a euro-style bailout within the next twenty years.
Would you like some tarsands with your Jabbas? - October 23, 2012 at 5:03 PM
The Poppy Cox link is blocked in my building!
Corporate prudes ruined my day.
I don't own myself. - October 23, 2012 at 5:04 PM
The Poppy Cox link is blocked in my building!
Corporate prudes ruined my day.
I don't own myself.
But I own 100. - October 23, 2012 at 5:05 PM
Wow. Is "geetus" German for "bitter & disgruntled"?
- October 23, 2012 at 5:11 PM
- McFly said...
Oh dang I left that part out. My bad. "ONWARD TO THE BEER AND BAND AIDS!" Frilly yelled like a true trail warrior.
- October 23, 2012 at 5:14 PM
- babble on said...
Girl after my own heart...
- October 23, 2012 at 5:17 PM
Geetus- please try to remember, no one cares about professional cycling. Only about the money they make from it. Do you ever wonder why professional athletes (baseball, football,oops,I almost said hockey!)don't get their World Series or Superbowl wins taken away? People care about them! They're National heroes! Kids emulate them, even if they cheat! NOBODY CARES ABOUT PRO CYCLISTS! Sorry to holler, but it seems you can't hear the deafening yawns coming from every other sports fan. (Except hockey)
- October 23, 2012 at 5:26 PM
- leroy said...
My dog wishes to point out that there's only a short syllable separating owning yourself and onan yourself.
I told him it's not polite to interrupt.
Honestly, you'd think that someone who only reads the bible for the naughty bits would at least retain some of the lessons. - October 23, 2012 at 5:27 PM
"We can turn beans into peas master".
- October 23, 2012 at 5:29 PM
Kid to father: Dad, who was Lance Armstrong?
Dad:I think he walked on the moon, or something.
Kid: My teacher said he cheated to get there.
Dad: Yeah? Hey! Let's go throw the ol' pigskin around 'til mom gets supper,O.K.?
Kid: Yay! I wanna be Aaron Rodgers!
Dad: You can do it, Johnny! Just remember, never quit! - October 23, 2012 at 5:42 PM
What happened to riding a bike for the sake of riding a fucking bike??? For fun??? Why riding a bike has to be about art, self discovery, sex, political statement, fashion, saving the world or some other bullshit???
- October 23, 2012 at 6:01 PM
- ervgopwr said...
Good one moose:
DOPE CHTR - October 23, 2012 at 6:02 PM
Oh! I hate having to appear like that! It really is the most tiresomely... noisy manifestation!
- October 23, 2012 at 6:27 PM
- r/evolving circus said...
Thanks for all the support today and submitting your crappy mix tape to my project! I've added a new pledge level in your honor. With 10 backers, you can be the proud owner of an original painting that commemorates your "incident".
- October 23, 2012 at 6:41 PM
"How I own who I am." What does that even mean?! We need those pundits to stop talking about the candidates [they speak English, and are mostly comprehensible, anyway], and EXPLAIN this hipster, new-wave, old-hippie lingo. What is this girl trying to say, and why doesn't she just spit it out? [ha! I said, "spit it out" after Babble said, uh, nevermind...]
- October 23, 2012 at 7:01 PM
- Alvaro Amat said...
@r/evolving circus : Great Comment! Honestly, I did not see the point of this post and the blog. Looks like someone just had a graphomania attack and tried to be an apocalyptic "hipster" I just don't get it
- October 23, 2012 at 7:45 PM
- McFly said...
Went mountainous bike cycling. Broke chain. Rode buddies 29er. BIG mistake. I love it. I want it. I NEED it. I have Babble Syndrome. For a bike. Not pecker.
- October 23, 2012 at 7:48 PM
Kara Minnehan is amusingly bourgeois. I guess it's perfectly laudable if she wants to give up her car, but I have to draw the line at the need to make a goddamned documentary about it. Lots of people in this world lead car-free lives - and most of them do it out of need and not by choice because they can't afford a car. What makes her think that her experience with something that is quite prosaic is really that interesting.
- October 23, 2012 at 7:51 PM
- max said...
Sweet now I'm really excited I get to vote for Bera... He's challenging a total incumbent douche.
- October 23, 2012 at 7:53 PM
Or, Alvaro, it juuuust might be a backhanded way for Snob to promote a project he find's pretty cool, since whatever mean stuff he writes, he knows full well he will drive a lot of attention to any site or project he links too. he did that kick starter a big favor just now you know.
- October 23, 2012 at 7:55 PM
Well we all know your a 'snob' and you don't even have to broadcast it. Ass-hat is written all over your blog. Picking on artists/entrepreneurs, really? Why because their doing something more clever than sitting behind a laptop ripping people apart? Why don't you do something more productive with your time-Go play with your bike parts, ya douche.
- October 23, 2012 at 8:05 PM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
Snobbies got a softspot for carousels. Thats kinda funny.
- October 23, 2012 at 8:07 PM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
Hey McFly that's your bike room I assume in your pic? Pretty cool set up.
- October 23, 2012 at 8:11 PM
- JB said...
Anon @ 8:05pm: I really have nothing against artists, et. al., but it's not really any more clever or productive than blogging about one's scranus.
- October 23, 2012 at 8:25 PM
- McFly said...
Thanks RCT. Yeah we don't even have a shop here in Paris(of all places) so it's known as McFlys Underground Bike Impound. MUBI. There are 4 off road motorcycles in there and 3 or 4 more cycles. I lose count. I run a machine shop in the next town over so I am constantly making improvements if you know what I mean and I believe you do.
- October 23, 2012 at 9:08 PM
Wow, bikesnob! You are like, the coolest person on the interwebs! What a joy to hear all about you, and your thoughts on how other people suck and have dumb ideas, because they're not you. I look forward to more mindless blather- no! -thoughtful insight concerning How Awesome and Unfathomably Cooler Bikesnob is than Everybody Else.
- October 23, 2012 at 9:42 PM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
That's cool with access to a machine shop there's almost no upgrade you can't handle. I was a late bloomer and didn't get into dirt bikes until I was in my 20's. Just do a little road riding on my Triumph these days. Motorbike's are a hoot when your not in the mood to pedal.
- October 23, 2012 at 9:48 PM
- McFly said...
What year and model Triumph do have? Is it a triple? Kawi makes that 650 twin that's a Tri rip off but I still love it.
- October 23, 2012 at 9:57 PM
Yes, well, I am the nice one.
- October 23, 2012 at 10:15 PM
I thought I stepped in dog shit on my way home...turns out it was poop art.
I love it when art poops out of nowhere.
Farty Warhol is my favorite poop artist.
- October 23, 2012 at 10:28 PM
- McFly said...
9:50 p.m., skittles everywhere. I thought everything went perfect then she says "What the fuck is a babble and why did you whisper it?"
- October 23, 2012 at 10:51 PM
I'm not sure which I have enjoyed more today, Snob's "Libya, which might as well be in the Middle East as far as I'm concerned" line, or the kickstarter trolls coming on over to comment and put WCRM in his place.
Worth the price of admission right there. - October 23, 2012 at 11:55 PM
- babble on said...
It is rather entertaining... :)
Babble is a word best yelled out loud. - October 24, 2012 at 1:04 AM
I am so confused why someone would inject drugs into their private area?
Are all guys that ride bikes sickos?
I know they wear shorts like Richard Simmons, but I used to think they were macho and now that Lance Armstrong came out and is a gay cheat I feel like a victim. - October 24, 2012 at 4:10 AM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
@McFly: '12 Scrambler 900 Parallel twin. Be sure to check out the video at the end of this post: I rode my Scrambler out to get some lunch
- October 24, 2012 at 9:02 AM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
Here's some more cool pics of places I ride: I like back roads
- October 24, 2012 at 9:18 AM
That motorbike video rct posted is a welcomed relief to those douchey fixie edits.
- October 24, 2012 at 10:08 AM
- McFly said...
I was checkin out yor blog. You take much better picture that Wildcat Say Cheese Machine.
- October 24, 2012 at 10:11 AM
- Paul Bowen said...
- October 24, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Steve Tilford climbed Mount Ventoux with a 42/21. You bunch of pussies. Except Babble, she climbs on top of stuff while mashing a big one.
- October 24, 2012 at 10:20 AM
- recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
Thanks McFly. Yeah your right but WCSCM more than makes up for it with his witty prose.
- October 24, 2012 at 10:33 AM
- Stevil said...
In terms of difficulty, riding bikes is second only to giving your donkey a ride up the hill on your back.
- October 24, 2012 at 11:32 AM
- leroy said...
I used to think WCRM was nice until Anon 8:05 explained he was making fun of artists/entrepeneurs.
Golly, now I just feel dirty.
Oh well, I'm sure it will pass.
- October 24, 2012 at 11:50 AM
- babble on said...
Wiggins said he won't defend the TdF title, opting instead to support Froome.
Says Chris will Have to grow some sideburns, though. - October 24, 2012 at 11:55 AM
Seems like snob is a fiscal conservative. Does this mean he'll be voting republican?
- October 24, 2012 at 12:00 PM
- Karla said...
I'm reading a day late, so nobody will see this comment, but I couldn't help but note the rare left-hand drive bicycle at 0:23 in the commercial. No wonder the orange lady was having so much trouble! The had to remark the white Volvo in the background, too. I wonder if it's the one that chick in Portland sold?
- October 24, 2012 at 2:00 PM
Bike Your City made me feel like Eng Bunker, out for a ride with his brother [url=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/30/ChangandEng.jpg]Chang[/url].
- October 24, 2012 at 5:06 PM
- Triumph Bikers said...
Hello...i from malaysia..
love about classic motorcycle - October 26, 2012 at 1:16 PM
- hemcoined said...
It's not really any more clever or productive than blogging about one's scranus.
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text:
Website UPS
Job Description:
UPS is accepting applications for full-time Combination Package Delivery Drivers. This is a physical, fast-paced, outdoor position that involves continual lifting, lowering and carrying packages that typically weigh 25 – 35 lbs. and may weigh up to 70 lbs. A DOT physical exam is required. Package Delivery Drivers must have excellent customer contact and driving skills. Some UPS facilities may require the ability to drive a delivery vehicle with a standard (manual) transmission. Qualified applicants must have a valid driver's license issued in the state that they live. Package Delivery Drivers are expected to comply with UPS appearance guidelines and wear the company-provided uniform.
Full-time UPS employees work eight or more hours per day and workdays can vary (Wednesday – Sunday) or (Tuesday – Saturday) depending on the building needs. There is no available work on Monday's for this position. Some work in the warehouse may be required.
This job posting includes information about the minimum qualifications (including the UPS Uniform and Personal Appearance Guidelines), locations, shifts, and operations within the locations which may consider my application. An applicant or employee may request an exception or change to, or an accommodation of, any condition of employment (including the UPS Uniform and Personal Appearance Guidelines) because of a sincerely held religious belief or practice.
UPS is an equal opportunity employer. UPS does not discriminate on the basis of race/color/religion/sex/national origin/veteran/disability/age/sexual orientation/gender identity or any other characteristic protected by law
Job Details:
Company: UPS
Vacancy Type: Full Time
Job Location: Bluefield, WV, US
Application Deadline: N/A

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Cupcakes for everyone!
Big things afoot! Exciting things! Read On!
(However, if you hate award shows and self-indulgent navel-gazing, then you may want to skip through to the baby pics and the Big Announcement below...)
In my dark moment of Flickian anxiety, made worse by sleeplessness (am I a desperate over-achiever who wants too badly to be liked? Or am I just tired and INSANE?), a light shines through. Crazy Hip Blog Mamas Member of the Week!
Class president and prom queen rolled into one! And after all that big talk - I don't need to be class president I don't need to be CBHM-MOW I don't need no Andrew Shue I don't care- can I just say one thing? Those were stupid things to say.
I like this. This feels nice. This tiara looks purdy on my bulbous head.
(weird little twirly dance.)
You all are so singularly awesome for voting for me. I love you.
(Blows kisses.) Mm-wah, mm-wah.
(There are no spit stains down my front right now, are there? Good. And the nursing bra, and the titties, they're all tucked away? Great.)
Where was I? Right - I am so touched and so honoured and this means so much because it's from YOU and not some stuffy old academy. I'd like to thank WonderBaby, for making this all possible, and Husband, for giving me the big one, and all of my bloggy friends...
(Orchestral music begins to swell.)
No, no, no! Don't rush me! I need to thank all of my bloggy friends...
(Orchestral music fully swollen. Emaciated spokesmodel in trashy Versace gown pulling - weakly, mind you, she only had a carrot and a Marlboro Light for lunch - at my arm.)
Wait! ...um... (frantically uncrumpling tattered napkin with 80 URLs scrawled out in eyeliner pencil...)
(Time and blog space have run short. Fine. I would say check the sidebar for full credits, but I haven't updated in a while and so many links are missing. So check this. All the Mutha Bloggahs in the house say YO-oh! Yo-OH!)
Oh, and? Thank you to everyone who kept the crickets at bay by reading and commenting on last night's exercise in sleep-deprivation-blogging. You are true friends to have listened patiently to my manic ramblings on gods and penises and Martin Luther and Tara Reid and Augustine and Judy Blume and the Ancient of the Days and gods and carrots and penises (oh my) - complete with links and disturbing pictures - and to have laughed with appropriate tolerant enthusiasm and patted my head and said shhhh now, sleep...
Made a girl feel almost, I dunno, sane.
But of all the posts to be up on the day that I get CBHM-MOW and new blog traffic, it had to be this one, with all the penises and Classics 101 talk and over-the-top cursing. It's like - as I said in my e-mail to Kel when I did the interview - having the lottery people turn up at your door with a big ole check and CAMERAS and you answer the door naked. Which, really, is a lesson in making certain that you always have your clothes on when you answer the door (but which, as all nursing mothers know, is sometimes challenging. Yes, I have come close to answering the door with titties hanging out. Too close.) Or making certain that you don't blog about penises in a sleep deprived state (which, again, all new mothers know, is sometimes challenging.) Anyhoo. Lesson learned.
But I can't promise that it won't happen again.
I'm still working her. She'll do it again.
Now, on to what was going to be today's post before I was showered with accolades and awards and gosh darn done lost mah head (when's the Vanity Fair party, BTW?)...
I hereby announce the first annual Great Dad-Blogger Love-In. A bit girly, yes, but better than the Great Dad-Blogger Back-Patting-Circle. No? Okay, how about Great Dad-Blogger Totally Manly Handshake Round?
Whatever. In honor of Father's Day, I want to do a Love-In Link List for Dads, to run alongside the Great Mommy-Blogger Love-In List.
So, as with the Mutha Blogger Love: This is a summons for shout-outs to your Dad-blogger friends, to the Dad-bloggers who make you laugh, who make you think, the guys-with-babes that you think are awesome. Sometime between now and Father's Day - or, as with the Mutha Love, anytime that you like - write a post about the men in the blogosphere that have made some difference in your world. It doesn't have to focus on just one Dad-blogger, but you absolutely must single out the objects of your celebration and give them lots of linky love. When you've posted your Ode to Amazing Dad-Bloggers, let the object(s) of your affection know. And then send the link to your post to me, and I'll put all the links together in a Big Honkin' Dad Love post in honor of Father's Day. (Oh, and spread word of this around. As I recently pointed out here, I am not an supah-stah or even a comet or even a random piece of space junk, so word won't spread if we rely solely on HBM traffic. Talk it up!) The point of this is to make this week the week that Dads get to be Crazy Hip Blog Superheroes of the Week. This week is their week. Make it so.
(Yes! I am commanding! Am drunk on CBHM-MOW power! Am uncontrollable! Mwah ha ha ha!)
Lovin' her Da
Thanks so much to everyone for visiting the Basement and hanging out and lending support to the chicas who have been spilling their guts there. All of our posters so far have said that you're all helping immensely. Sistahs are doing it for each other. Mad love.


text:
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text:
We have all seen the endless debate over how the community gets labeled. Are we the "gay community", the "gay/lesbian community", the "queer community", "sexual minorities" the list is endless. The acronmyns only get worse since there is contention over LGBT, LGBTQ, GLBTQIA, etc and the order of the acronyms itself is subject to debate. Do gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders alone get in or do we expand to be inclusive of asexuals, intersexuals, polyamorous, two-spirit, queer, questioning, pansexuals, androgynous, genderqueer people and allies?
One might get a headache after listing out all the multitudes of sexual and gender identities that can describe our community members. While some people find queer to be inclusive others hate the term and find it disparaging.
Todays task is to come up with a unifying term besides queer that can be used. We can likely all agree we need an alternative. I predict lots of tacky ideas but that is okay, lets hash it out, and brainstorm by listing several ideas and we can all debate and declare a new term for our community!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Open Forum: Create a Unifying Term for the Community
28 comments:
Anyone who suggests "rainbow" should be shot.
- February 6, 2010 at 1:03 PM
The out community.
- February 6, 2010 at 1:07 PM
I've never been a big fan of "reclaiming" words, so I'm not a bug supporter of "queer." I do wish there was something more inclusive, though.
- February 6, 2010 at 1:11 PM
- Queers United said...
It needs to be something not tacky, can we just create a nice sounding word and use it or should we go with already established English jargon?
- February 6, 2010 at 1:21 PM
- Chris Gurr said...
This will obviously take a lot of thought and time, but initially reading through the list, the community seems so broad and inclusive, that it is difficult to find a good reason for excluding heterosexuals; as to do so would be playing the same game that has made us a community, ie exclusion through difference.
- February 6, 2010 at 1:21 PM
- Queers United said...
The loveboat community haha jk
- February 6, 2010 at 1:22 PM
- Patricia said...
- February 6, 2010 at 1:43 PM
- Queers United said...
The Amour or Amorous Community?
- February 6, 2010 at 1:50 PM
- Queers United said...
- February 6, 2010 at 1:54 PM
- Queers United said...
Maybe we need to lay this out differently. We want an inclusive word for sexual and gender minorities but what do we want it to say about us? Unified, brave, cheerful what sort of adjectives come to mind perhaps from there we can come up with stuff.
- February 6, 2010 at 1:59 PM
- Nicholas Goldsmith said...
Spectrum Community? Pride Community?
I do think a unified word would be fantastic, because it would really help. The acronyms just confuse people, but there does need to be some level of common banner. - February 6, 2010 at 2:21 PM
Being an aromantic asexual, words that mean "amorous," "love" wouldn't really include me. "Mosaic" seems nice and inclusive. Although I don't mind the word "queer." At least people know it and are used to it. I wonder why "rainbow" is so resented by the first poster. It seems good to me. It has the "mosaic" meaning and people are used to relate it to the LGBT community.
- February 6, 2010 at 2:27 PM
"Spectrum" is used by the autism community, so that wouldn't really work. I also agree with Anon there on love-based terms: it eliminates a community that gets eliminated far too often.
"Mosaic" is nice, and I'm okay with "rainbow." It seems like rainbow would be an easy one to transition to, but it also has connotations as a symbol representing more the flamboyant gay male community versus being wholly inclusive of the entire non-heteronormative crowd. - February 6, 2010 at 3:19 PM
- Lara said...
I like Kate Bornstein's suggestion of GASP, for gender-anarchy/sex-positivity.
- February 6, 2010 at 4:37 PM
- svollga said...
I use 'queer', both as self-identification and as an umbrella term for the community. Queer as 'anything that's not straight cis heteronormative monogamous vanilla'. Includes everything.
- February 6, 2010 at 11:38 PM
... can I ask what the paw flag is for????
- February 7, 2010 at 2:46 AM
- Queers United said...
Anon 2:46 AM the paw flag is for the bear community which are more masculine, hairy, and larger in size men.
- February 7, 2010 at 9:39 AM
- Brett said...
I have been inspired to write this on my blog - You gotta have pride - http://the-classic-eccentric.blogspot.com
- as I think its time we have the one name too . b - February 8, 2010 at 2:56 PM
Whatever comes out of this I believe that we should all claim our Race in the upcoming census as Gay, or GLBT or Queer. what ever one feels an afinity with.
- February 8, 2010 at 7:49 PM
- Mewi said...
Here is one... LGBT... why change it?
- February 9, 2010 at 9:52 AM
To Mewi - it doesn't cover everybody: asexuals, pansexuals, non-binary genders (e.g. agender).
- February 9, 2010 at 2:01 PM
Because LGBT excludes aces (asexuals).
BLAGT might work cos it's almost prouncable - "blag-tee" Although that might be confused with "black tea"... - February 9, 2010 at 3:02 PM
- Sheridan said...
I'm not a fan of GASP. It's to close to WASP, which just sounds odd. I also don't like queer. It makes it sound like something is wrong with us. The top definitions are as follows.
1. strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice.
2. of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away.
3. not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.
4. mentally unbalanced or deranged.
I don't want to associated with any of those.
We should have a word all our own. It doesn't have to have a current meaning. Just something that sounds positive and nice, like...Timok - February 9, 2010 at 11:29 PM
- Mewi said...
@Anonymous, it covers everyone who is fighting for equal rights under the law.
Alone asexuality has no rights to be obtained ( in the US at the least, harsh reality but true ), aside from getting out the word about what it is... and honestly it is just celibacy in reality and are still covered by the "LGB" part in terms of fighting for relationship rights anyway.
@Moondragon007, It is completely unnecessary to include "asexuality" in the acronym, cause again they are covered in the LGB part.
Intersex people should be covered, because and I stress this greatly anyone who is identifying as "Intersexed" should be marked under the transgendered category and thus the transgendered category should be modified to include intersexed people. I have seen some disagree with this, and they sounded rather transphobic to me...
and pansexual? pansexual is far to broad a term and an unexplored term that it's meaning is highly obscure. - February 10, 2010 at 8:30 AM
- Diane J Standiford said...
My gay friends and I have given this much thought. I am 52 and it used to be, "She (he) is gay." "Yeah? What are they into?" But there is no doubt we need branding. I am not queer. I am not a rainbow. We need a NEW word for a NEW age. One that expresses what we all share in common: oppression/minority status/strength/permanecy---or we settle for a name for just now that will only be in history books and Trivial Pursuit games, like: Black Panthers. Mosaic. Rainbow. Queer I tell people I'm gay, or just introduce my partner of 30yrs and let them figure it out; they don't need all my sexual details anyway. But, yeah, we need branding.
- February 10, 2010 at 10:27 AM
The colorful community?
Or or, I know this is a stretch, but "Human"
But that excludes the furries.
This is hard. - February 11, 2010 at 12:50 PM
How about Variant?
We are scattered across the whole female sexuality/gender/male sexuality spectrum and our different sexualities (including hetero) are now accepted as normal and natural variants of human sexuality. This includes transgender and intersex.
The word Variant is a positive version of deviant which moralists through the Twentieth Century chose to label, demean, dehumanise and demonise us.
http://ifpeakoilwerenoobject.blogspot.com/ - February 16, 2010 at 12:55 AM
"Out" or "Outs" or "Outsiders".
It expresses both visibility and minority status.
"The Family" or "The People".
Well, I guess the family is used by the mob, and I think gypsies use "the people", but those two terms are highly inclusive- and we can claim them away from the right wing, who say we are not family, and we are not part of "we the people". - February 22, 2010 at 11:39 AM


text:
12 killed in Navy Yard shooting
Published 1:19 pm Monday, September 16, 2013
WASHINGTON — As many as two gunmen opened fire Monday morning inside the Washington Navy Yard, killing at least 12 people in an attack on office workers at the heavily secured military installation in the heart of the nation's capital, authorities said.
One gunman was dead, and police hunted for a second possible attacker who may have been disguised in a military-style uniform, police said.
Investigators said they had not established a motive for the shooting rampage, which unfolded less than four miles from the White House. As for whether it may have been a terrorist attack, Mayor Vincent Gray said: "We don't have any reason to think that at this stage."
The FBI took charge of the investigation.
President Barack Obama mourned yet another mass shooting in the U.S. that he said took the lives of American patriots. Obama promised to make sure "whoever carried out this cowardly act is held responsible."
The area that was targeted, known as Building 197, was part of the headquarters for Naval Sea Systems Command, which buys, builds and maintains ships, submarines and combat systems. About 3,000 people work at the headquarters, many of them civilians.
Witnesses described a gunman opening fire from a fourth-floor overlook, aiming down on people in the first-floor cafeteria. Others said a gunman fired at them in a third-floor hallway. It was not clear whether the witnesses on different floors were describing the same gunman.
Around midday, police said they were searching for two men who may have taken part in the attack — one carrying a handgun and wearing a tan Navy-style uniform and a beret, the other armed with a long gun and wearing an olive-green uniform. Washington Police Chief Cathy Lanier said it was unclear if the men were members of the military.
But later in the day, police said in a tweet that the man in the tan uniform had been identified and was not involved in the shooting.
It was not immediately clear whether the number of dead included a gunman.
As emergency vehicles and law enforcement officers flooded streets around the complex, a helicopter hovered overhead, nearby schools were locked down and airplanes at nearby Reagan National Airport were grounded so they would not interfere with law-enforcement choppers.
A short distance away, security was beefed up at the Capitol and other federal buildings, but officials said there was no known threat.
Todd Brundidge, an executive assistant with Navy Sea Systems Command, said he and other co-workers encountered a gunman in a long hallway on the third floor. The gunman was wearing all blue, he said.
"He just turned and started firing," Brundidge said.
Terrie Durham, an executive assistant with the same agency, said she also saw the gunman firing toward her and Brundidge.
"He aimed high and missed," she said. "He said nothing. As soon as I realized he was shooting, we just said, 'Get out of the building.'"
Rick Mason, a civilian program-management analyst for the Navy who works on the fourth floor of the building, said a gunman was firing from the overlook in the hallway outside his office.
Shortly after the gunfire, Mason said, someone on an overhead speaker told workers to seek shelter and later to head for the gates at the complex.
Patricia Ward, a logistics-management specialist, said she was in the cafeteria getting breakfast.
"It was three gunshots straight in a row — pop, pop, pop. Three seconds later, it was pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, so it was like about a total of seven gunshots, and we just started running," Ward said.
Ward said security officers started directing people out of the building with guns drawn.
One person died at George Washington University Hospital of a single gunshot wound to the left temple, said Dr. Babak Sarani, director of trauma and acute care surgery. A police officer and two civilian women were in critical condition at Washington Hospital Center, said Janis Orlowski, the hospital's chief operating officer.
Orlowski said the police officer was in the operating room with gunshot wounds to the legs. The police chief said the officer was wounded when he engaged the shooter who later died.
One woman at the hospital had a gunshot wound to the shoulder. The other had gunshot wounds to the head and hand.
Adm. Jonathan Greenert, chief of naval operations, was at the base at the time the shooting began but was moved unharmed to a nearby military installation
Anxious relatives and friends of those who work at the complex waited to hear from loved ones.
Tech Sgt. David Reyes, who works at Andrews Air Force Base, said he was waiting to pick up his wife, Dina, who was under lockdown in a building next to where the shooting happened. She sent him a text message about being on lockdown.
"They are under lockdown because they just don't know," Reyes said. "They have to check every building in there, and they have to check every room and just, of course, a lot of rooms and a lot of buildings."
Naval Sea Systems Command is the largest of the Navy's five system commands and accounts for a quarter of the Navy's entire budget. Only security personnel were allowed to be armed on the grounds.
Mason, the program management analyst for the Navy, said there are multiple levels of security to reach his office. Everyone must show a building ID to get through a main gate, and at the building entrance, everyone must swipe a badge to pass through either a door or gate, depending on the entrance.
That "makes me think it might have been someone who works here," he said.
The Navy Yard has three gates, according to its website. One is open around the clock and must be used by visitors. A second gate is only for military and civilian Defense Department employees. The third gate is for bus traffic.
The Navy Yard is part of a fast-growing neighborhood on the banks of the Anacostia River in southeast Washington, blocks from the Nationals Park baseball stadium.


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Bradley Campbell
Bradley Campbell came to Rhode Island Public Radio from WGBH. In Boston, he worked for The Takeaway as an assistant producer, and as a newswriter for Morning Edition. Before that, he covered the Cape Cod Baseball League for WCAI - The Cape and Island's NPR news station. He's a graduate of the Salt Institute for Documentary Studies in Portland, ME. He completed a fellowship at the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University. He got his start writing for the Cleveland Scene and Minneapolis City Pages. Bradley grew up in the rural, logging town of Dallas, Oregon. He likes Stumptown coffee and Bridgestone bikes.


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- Date
- 1990
- Media category
- Photograph
- Materials used
- gelatin silver photograph
- Edition
- 7/15 [edition of 18, 15 of which are printed on 60 x 50cm paper.]
- Dimensions
- 54.8 x 44.2 cm image; 60.1 x 50.1 cm sheet
- Signature & date
Signed and dated lower verso, ink "BR ... Janvier 1990 ... Bettina Rheims".
- Credit
- Gift of Edron Pty Ltd - 1996 through the auspices of Alistair McAlpine
- Location
- Not on display
- Accession number
- 924.1996.58
- Copyright
- © Bettina Rheims, Modern Lovers series
- Artist information
Bettina Rheims
Works in the collection
- Share
'Searching plays a significant role in photography. That is exactly what is suppressed in advertising and fashion photography.' Bettina Rheims 1998 1
Like many fashion photographers, Bettina Rheims has pursued projects which explore her personal notions of individual beauty, rather than that dictated by magazines and advertising agencies. In her series 'Modern lovers', Rheims subverts fashionable ideals of beauty by portraying the androgyny of young men and women. Her subjects stand awkwardly before the camera against a plain studio backdrop, sometimes looking into the camera, sometimes turning away. Their ambivalence in being photographed is matched by the ambiguity they present to the viewer: these rather feminine men and masculine women confound gender distinctions, but at the same time confirm the homoerotic tendencies prevalent in much fashion photography from the 1990s. It comes as no surprise to see a young Kate Moss, who shot to fame in Calvin Klein's homoerotic advertising campaign in 1992, among the modern lovers.
Rheims began work as a portrait photographer in 1978 and has since worked as a fashion and celebrity photographer and photojournalist. The subjects of her first exhibition in 1981 were striptease artists and circus performers – the 'demi-monde' to fashion and modelling's 'haute-monde'. Similarly, Rheims approached most of her subjects for 'Modern lovers' 'on the street, in bars, everywhere'.2 None were older than 20 and all were forming their identity, coming to terms with their bodies, their sexuality and their look. Rheims, who had been a model herself before turning to photography, compares her subjects to butterflies and angels – elusive creatures in the process of metamorphosis and transcendence.
1. Rheims B 1998, 'Bettina Rheims: modern lovers', Art Gallery of New South Wales, Sydney np
2. ibid© Art Gallery of New South Wales Photography Collection Handbook, 2007
Exhibition history
Shown in 2 exhibitions
Bettina Rheims: Modern Lovers, Art Gallery of New South Wales, Sydney, 14 Dec 1998–21 Feb 1999
The fashion of Helmut Newton and Bettina Rheims, Art Gallery of New South Wales, Sydney, 09 Feb 2013–17 May 2013
Referenced in 5 publications
Art Gallery of New South Wales, Bettina Rheims: Modern Lovers, Sydney, 1998.
Paul Hayes (Editor), Capital Q Weekly, 'Angels undressed', pg. 1, Darlinghurst, 11 Dec 1998, 1. This appears in the xtra section of the newspaper.
Gina Kehayoff (Editor), Bettina Rheims Modern Lovers, Heidelberg, 1990, 26 (illus.).
Eleanor Weber, Look, 'Fashion photography that chartered new ground', pg.30-31, Sydney, Feb 2013, 30 (illus.).
Judith White, Look, 'Unexpected Angels', pg. 11, Heidelberg, Dec 1998-Jan 1999, 11.


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text: The success of aviation has often been due to technologies that are often invisible to the casual observer. Aircraft instruments and aviation electronics (avionics) have played crucial roles in the safety, reliability, and efficiency of flight. They are essential for maintaining control and managing performance, as well as navigating and communicating. Equipment in these categories ranges from simple barometric altimeters to sophisticated radar systems, autopilots, and bombsights. The majority of the National Air and Space Museum instrument and avionics collection is centered on innovations before 1950 and is unmatched by any other in the world. Standouts include hundreds of instruments evaluated by the National Bureau of Standards between the World Wars, a remarkable grouping of historic firsts produced by the Sperry Gyroscope Company and another from the Aircraft Radio Corporation. Also featured are an extensive collection of war prize material illustrating the technological innovations of Germany and Japan during World War II.


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Here's the old deck and I do mean old. The average life expectancy of a deck is 10-15 years. Ours was 22.
If you click on this link, you'll see a 10 second time lapse of the demolition and construction.
Here's the new deck, much larger as you can tell. It also fixed many structural problems from the old deck which was never built right in the first place.
I gained almost 3 more feet of width in my outdoor kitchen. And the cap on the side rails acts as counter space.
I moved the Big Green Egg back out there.
Looks good but it still needs a little....something. Ah! I know!
The final touch arrived Thursday.
Yes - we have TWO Big Green Eggs now!
The new one is Alexis' and it is going to be used primarily as a brick oven for baking, roasting, and such. The original Egg will continue to be my workhorse and get all of the messy barbecue work.
Gotta go, I have to get to work on staining and tiling the table.


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This Is the Manicure You Should Get, Based on Your Astrological Sign
7 Lies on Your Makeup LabelsMost of the claims on the front of makeup packaging mean absolutely nothing. Here's what you need to know to cut through the marketing jargon |
Older comments
most makeup/skincare companies will write anything to sell their product. The sad thing, we often believe them, and spend a lot of money.
by venenumletalis Thursday, March 28, 2013 at 02:40PM Report as inappropriate
Great-to-know tips. I truly enjoyed this article and was surprised at some of the things I learned.
by GigiSD Wednesday, March 27, 2013 at 01:35PM Report as inappropriate
thank you! i had so many times this discussion with some or other sales person that insisted that "this product won't give you an allergic reaction/won't react with your sensitive skin, it's natural!" my reply is usually along the lines that strawberries are natural, still people are allergic to them...
by AstridB Wednesday, March 20, 2013 at 12:01PM Report as inappropriate
Thanks for spelling it out for us!!!
by asiagirl4ever Sunday, February 3, 2013 at 09:53AM Report as inappropriate
The one that gets me is long lasting or 8 hours. No makeup really stays that long and looks like you just put it on, at least for me...
by Only1KimmieD Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 12:50PM Report as inappropriate
a lot of good things to keep in mind when shopping
by rayshaviolet Thursday, January 10, 2013 at 01:52PM Report as inappropriate
Good information. I guess I won't waste my money on anymore anti-aging products except for a night cream.
by inthemiddles Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 07:29PM Report as inappropriate


text: What do medieval archaeology, fish farming, Southwestern University of Chongqing and Microsoft Business Intelligence have in common? If you know, you should tell Donald Farmer, because he has been deeply involved in all of them at various times. Donald has worked in the Microsoft Business Intelligence team for 8 years covering many subject areas: data integration, information quality, metadata intelligence, master data management, OLAP, predictive analytics and self-service BI. He is a well-known speaker at Microsoft and other industry events, and the author of several books and articles.


text:
Vinyl, Solid, Marine
Seabreeze SEA-859 Lt Copper
The Basics
- Avoid placing furniture in direct sunlight
- Avoid placing furniture near or over heating or air conditioning vents
- Immediately blot up spills or moisture
Cushions and Cushion Covers
To extend the life of your covers and foam, rotate and vacuum cushions every week. Professional upholstery cleaning is recommended for cushions and cushion covers. For all cushions, the covers should be left on the foam for cleaning to preserve the cushion's shape and size.
Spot Cleaning
The spot cleaning method of stain removal can be used for most light to medium stains.
- Before spot cleaning, blot up liquids on the surface with a clean, soft towel and brush off any loose dirt.
- Prepare a cleaning solution of 1/4 cup mild soap, such as Woolite® or Dawn® dishwashing liquid, per gallon of lukewarm water.
- Apply the cleaning solution using a misting spray bottle.
- Work the solution into the affected area by lightly scrubbing the area with a sponge or soft bristle brush. Make sure to work from the outside of the stain inward so as not to spread the stain and rinse your sponge or brush frequently.
- Allow cleaning solution to soak into the fabric.
- Rinse thoroughly to remove all soap residues, as residues will attract dirt. Blot excess moisture with a clean, soft towel or sponge.
- Repeat steps 3-6 as needed.
- Allow fabric to air dry.
Vinyl and Re-cycled Leather Cleaning and Care
- Do not use alcohol based cleaning agents.
- Most vinyls can be easily cleaned with a soft clean cloth dampened with warm water. Rub gently. Depending on dampness of your cloth, you may want to wipe with a clean dry cloth.
- For light soiling, remove excess spill with a damp cloth. Clean with a 1:1 mix of Ivory® liquid soap and water. Dab gently. Rinse with a water dampened cloth to remove any soap residue. Repeat if necessary.
Results may vary under actual conditions. This information is not a guarantee and does not relieve the user from the responsibility of the proper and safe use of the product and all cleaning agents. The use of certain agents can be harmful to the surface appearance and lifespan of fabrics and vinyl. Bailey's Fabric & Supplies, Inc., its agents or assignees assume no responsibility resulting from the use of such cleaning agents to the vinyl.


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Happy Mother's Day! Up until this year, I have only experienced Mother's Day as a son of a mom and grandson of a grandma, not as the spouse of a mom. Maybe it's new parenthood, but I have a new appreciation and enthusiasm for the holiday.
Be (especially) nice to the moms this weekend: They deserve it. Anyone doing anything particularly cool (or sports-related) to celebrate? (And keep your eye out for the awesome pink bats being used by MLB on Sunday, one of the greatest promotions in baseball history.)
Dirk Nowitzki as NBA MVP is totally laughable, given the result of the first-round of the playoffs. I'll say it again, and it's very simple:
Naming a season's MVP solely from the regular season is as counter-intuitive as naming a champ solely from the team with the best regular season record.
LeBron snubbed for All-NBA: Now THAT was a shocker. Nash, Amare,
My usual call for awards transparency: I would like to see the complete ballots of the 129-member panel, so we can see which specific 65 voters didn't think LeBron was first-team All-NBA.
My All-NBA First Team: Nash,
Pistons go up 3-0 on Bulls, even after
Suns-Spurs intrigue: Amare says Bruce Bowen is dirty. Really? This is what goes for "scandal" these days? The scandal would be: Who DOESN'T think Bowen plays dirty?
MLB Stud: The Indians, who got permission from MLB to wear Larry Doby's No. 14 on August 10. Every member of the team will wear the number in tribute to the
MLB Dud: The Blue Jays, whose lost season found its ultimate symbolism when pricey closer BJ Ryan underwent season-ending elbow surgery.
Yankees: Freedom-loving or -hating? I did not know this until it was in the paper and subsequently covered by blogs: Yankee Stadium won't let fans leave their seats during "God Bless
In the hierarchy of American values, your presumptuous and elitist perception of my lack of patriotism does not trump my freedom to go to the bathroom or concession stand during the middle of an inning of a baseball game. (h/t: Deadspin | Fanhouse)
MLB Weekend: Who had "Brewers-Mets" as the biggest series of the season so far when you were looking at the schedule in March?
MLB Steroids: Claiming privacy, MLB players won't agree to let George Mitchell have their medical records. It's not outrageous, and it's not paranoid to question whether those records – connected with other testing – would be leaked to the media by the Mitchell group.
Rory Sabbatini disses Tiger: "Rowr-y" claims the Man is "as beatable as ever," adding he'd want to take him on during Sunday's final round.
I appreciate bold talk as a way of making the radar (and you always want to punch up a class), and I refuse to sit here and go "Oooh: Tiger's gonna whip your ass for that one!"
Maybe he will, but I don't mind seeing a little "dispute" put into the "undisputed king" of golf. "Undisputed" anything is boring.
(Meanwhile, Tiger didn't have a single birdie in the entire round for the first time in four years. Now THAT sounds like a streak.)
NFL: Pacman Jones meets with Roger Goodell today to appeal Goodell's punishment of a season-long suspension of Jones.
Jones has a point: Based on previous punishments, this one seems unusually harsh. I appreciate that Goodell wants a crackdown on off-field behavior problems, but the decision to put all the weight on Jones seems arbitrary in its timing and severity.
(By the way, if you haven't seen the lawyers' document listing all of the NFL off-field infractions going back... a long time... you've got to head over to Deadspin to see it. Amazing stuff, and it truly backs up Jones' "unfairly unprecedented" claim.)
T.O. won't be at mini-camp: What, like you're surprised?
Falcons owner Arthur Blank was "stern" in a meeting with Michael Vick: What, like you're surprised?
Dale Junior leaving DEI, the day after: Scroll down to the post belo for a longer take. But I got an appropriately brilliant response from CNBC's Darren Rovell, who said the most apt comparison was that it was like Steve Jobs leaving Apple.
Landis offered deal to snitch on Lance: Floyd Landis says the USADA offered him a cakewalk punishment if he'd give them the goods on Armstrong. Now THAT's messed-up.
Again, happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.


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Let's talk again about the CAP: the European Union's Common Agricultural Policy. Most believe that this topic is best left to the experts of the field, however there are fewer and fewer farmers left. A few months ago, I already emphasized how the CAP reform process is key for our future – not only in terms of agriculture and food – and I complained about the lack of attention paid by the media and the public to this important matter, in Italy and abroad. Maybe this is because European policies usually feel far removed from our lives and they only become relevant once they are translated into annoying prohibitions or presumptuous reproaches.
I say we had better take more interest in this issue. A huge chunk of the EU money is at stake (43% of total resources, or a total 55 billion Euro), but even more importantly the reform involves what we will eat in years to come, how food will be produced and what effects the production needed to feed hundreds of millions of Europeans will have on the environment and on the relationships between the north and the south of the world. These are complex issues. And this is another reason for the disinformation on the new CAP.
This is why I believe that the (often small but well organized) initiatives which bring key reforms like the CAP review to the citizens' attention are significant and worth mentioning. This is the case of the Good Food March, organized by ARC2020 with a network of European associations (including Slow Food), which will bring the requests of European citizens straight to the centers of power in Brussels. Young and elderly citizens, urban and countryside farmers, activists and simple supporters are mobilizing to raise the level of attention on the issue.
Events will be organized all over the continent (in Italy, I would like to mention the initiatives organized in Naples by the local Slow Food youth network in cooperation with Coldiretti and AIAB, and the sit-in in Rome, organized by the Italian Committee for Food Sovereignty), and a bicycle will lead the march to the European Parliament where today, September 19, a conference organized by Slow Food and ARC2020 on the CAP reform will be held. Participants include, among others, the President of the European Parliament Martin Schulz and the European Commissioner for Agriculture and Rural Development Dacian Cioloş.
On such an important issue, it is important to work on two sides: at institutional level – because decision-makers must take into account the demands of farmers and citizens who call for a greener agriculture, foreign to the criteria of agricultural industry which thinks of carrots and tomatoes as if they were bolts or microchips – and in terms of communication to the public, so that these topics are more and more widely shared and are not left to environmentalists, farmers or interest groups alone.
If you feel this is an important matter, even if you had never thought about it, and you care for an agriculture that can feed us without poisoning the planet and starving part of its inhabitants (starting from farmers themselves), you can participate in the photo action launched by the organizers of the Good Food March. Send a portrait of you holding a simple request that you would like to send to Brussels and to those who will decide what we will find in our future plates.


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Long Term Care Insurance
How Likely Am I to Need Long-Term Care?
If you were to suffer an illness or disability that required long-term nursing care, would you be covered?
Maybe not. The vast majority of Americans go through their lives reassuring themselves that it will never happen to them. However, if past trends continue, the average 65-year-old woman can expect to spend 30 percent of her remaining life with a disability that prevents her from leading a fully active life. While the average 65-year-old man can expect to spend 19 percent of his life with a disability.1
That means it could very well happen to you. And while nursing home costs vary from area to area, the average cost of a one-year stay in a private room in a nursing home in 2017 is $97,455.2
Medicaid, the joint federal and state program that covers medical bills for the needy, pays a substantial portion of long-term-care costs but usually only for those who are impoverished.
And Medicare is not paying much of the cost of long-term care. That's why the elderly should not rely on Medicare for their long-term-care needs.
Clearly, long-term-care costs pose a real problem for the elderly and their families. Long-term-care insurance can help preserve your accumulated wealth and provide coverage in the event you need long-term care. This can go far in helping to address financial need during retirement.
Sources: 1) BenefitsPro.com, March 21, 2016; 2) 2017 Cost of Care Survey, Genworth Financial, Inc.
The information in this newsletter is not intended as tax, legal, investment, or retirement advice or recommendations, and it may not be relied on for the purpose of avoiding any federal tax penalties. You are encouraged to seek advice from an independent professional advisor. The content is derived from sources believed to be accurate. Neither the information presented nor any opinion expressed constitutes a solicitation for the purchase or sale of any security. This material was written and prepared by Broadridge Advisor Solutions. © 2018 Broadridge Investor Communication Solutions, Inc.


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Does the Polish girl I like, likes me?
Across animal species males typically initiate mating,while women decide to accept or reject those advances. While we share this prototypical mating arrangement with other mammals,it's a bit more nuanced with us humans. Men are expected to make the overt first move like saying hello,striking up a conversation,asking a woman out on a date,etc.But women in fact typically initiate this contact by subtly providing cues that such contact is welcome.In other words,women decide if and when men can (...) -
What is typical polish woman like.
Italian women are heads of their families, all French girls look and dress like Brigitte Bardot, while ladies from Russia wear fur coats and hats all year long... These are just stereotypes, but let's see how Polish women are perceived and check if some of these are true. Educated If you want to impress a Polish woman, you need to address not only her beauty, but also her brains. Polish girls make up 57.7 percent of all students at universities in Poland (GUS, November 2015). Nowadays more an (...) -
Polish Cuisine. What can you eat in Poland.
Polish food is famous for being simple, hearty and not especially colourful. You simply haven't had a thorough sampling of it until you've tried all the traditional dishes below, all of which you should be able to find in almost any Polish restaurant or milk bar in town. Smacznego! BigosTraditionally a winter dish, Bigos is a hearty stew made in large batches. Though there is no standard recipe, ingredients usually include lots of fresh and pickled cabbage, leftover (...) -
The home and school education of Polish girls.
Polish girls, are brought up in families where mutual respect and love are priorities, relations are close witch differs from Western countries. Family life is important part of life for them. Polish girls are taught to care not only for the close relatives. Those distant are as same important. Respect for elders is not less important than siblings ones. Girls are taught well behavior, discipline. Cheerfulness and calmness is natural. There is no place for obnoxiousity, loudness or ill manners (...) -
Dating Polish Girls - What is it like?
Polish girls, unlike girls from Western countries, are brought up in close-knit families where mutual love and respect are priorities. Therefore family life is very important for them. From the very beginning Polish girls are taught to care not only for their immediate family and their distant relatives as well. Girls are taught to respect their siblings as well as their elders. The girls are not supposed to be obnoxious, loud, or ill mannered. On the contrary, they are expected to be well behav (...)


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NEW YORK (AP) — The worst may be over at J.C. Penney Co.
The beleaguered department store chain on Tuesday reported its sixth straight quarter of big losses and steep revenue drops as it continued to face challenges related to a botched turnaround plan spearheaded by its ousted CEO Ron Johnson.
But investors sent Penney shares up 6 percent to more than $14 — after having pushed the stock down nearly 70 percent in the last 18 months — in an expression of confidence that returning CEO Mike Ullman has started to stabilize the business.
Since he retook the top job in April after having occupied it from 2004 to 2011, Ullman has been bringing back coupons, frequent sales events and basic merchandise like khakis and jeans that Johnson eliminated in a failed attempt to attract hipper, more affluent shoppers. The latest report offered some encouraging signs that the move is beginning to pay off.
Revenue improved from month-to-month during the second quarter, and the decline in Penney's online business slowed significantly in part due to the company's move to veer from Johnson's strategy and go back to operating its online businesses with its physical stores in lockstep. The chain also said it is seeing an encouraging start to the back-to-school season, the second-largest selling period behind the winter holidays.
Bernard Sosnick, a retail analyst at Gilford Securities, said based on the results, he expects Penney to get back to profitability by the fourth quarter. He also said he wouldn't be surprised if during the first half of next year, the chain posted sales increases of 10 percent to 15 percent.
"There is light at the end of the tunnel," Sosnick said. Paul Swinand, a retail analyst at Morning Star, agreed, saying Penney "is showing some signs that it's turning the corner."
Penny's Ullman, however, took a more cautiously optimistic tone in his call with investors on Tuesday. He wouldn't promise that Penney would see a revenue gain in the current quarter, noting that August, the first month of the third quarter, will be difficult since business is being compared with a year ago when Penney drove customers in with free haircuts.
He also cited a challenging economic environment that has tripped up other retailers, including Wal-Mart Stores Inc., the world's largest retailer, and Macy's Inc., in the latest quarter. Both chains last week released bleaker outlooks for the year.
"As you can see in our results for the quarter, we aren't where we need to be yet," Ullman said. "This is, however, a journey. There are no quick fixes to correct the errors of the past. It is going to take time to get fully back on the right track across the company."
Indeed, Penney has a lot of work left to do. In the three-month period that ended Aug. 3, Penney lost $586 million, or $2.66 per share. That compares with a loss of $147 million, or 67 cents per share, a year earlier. Revenue was $2.66 billion, down 11.9 percent from $3.02 billion. Analysts were expecting a $1.07-per-share loss on revenue of $2.77 billion.
Revenue at stores open at least a year, an indicator of a retailer's health, also dropped 11.9 percent, worse than the 8.3 percent analyst expected. That was on top of a 21.7 percent drop a year ago. However, the sales drop in the latest quarter is smaller than the 16.6 percent decline in the first quarter.
The quarter was hurt by Penney's move to clear out some of the merchandise from the Johnson regime to make room for things like basic khakis. But the newly launched home business, a project of Johnson's that was supposed to bring shoppers back to the store, turned out to be a disaster, too. One of the big reasons: the merchandise was too trendy and pricey for Penney customers.
Still, Penney has some brighter spots. Online sales were $215 million for the quarter, down just 2.2 percent from the year ago period. That marked a dramatic improvement from the first quarter when online sales dropped about 30 percent.
Penney's results came a week after its largest shareholder, William Ackman, resigned from the company's board of directors as part of a deal to resolve an unusually public battle between the activist investor and the department store chain. Ackman's Pershing Square Capital Management has a 17.7 percent stake, or 39 million shares, in Penney.
Ackman went public two weeks ago with statements saying he'd lost confidence in Penney's board and that Chairman Thomas Engibous should be replaced. Ackman and the retailer's board also were bickering over how quickly the company should replace Ullman. Penney's board reiterated its support for Ullman on the same day Ackman resigned.
Ackman, who joined Penney's board in February 2011, was the one who pushed the board to hire Johnson, a mastermind of Apple Inc.'s successful stores. The hope was Johnson could inject new energy into the company.
Johnson's plan included getting rid of coupons and eliminating most discounts in favor of everyday low prices, as well as bringing in hip brands like Joe Fresh and remaking outdated stores. But the changes that were meant to attract younger, wealthier shoppers, wound up turning off its loyal middle-income, middle-age customers who favor sales events and basic merchandise.
As a result, Penney amassed nearly a billion dollars in losses and its revenue dropped 25 percent for the fiscal year that ended Feb. 2 in the first year of the turnaround strategy. Sales declines and losses continued into the first quarter as Johnson's legacy cast a shadow on the results.
Under Ullman's leadership, Penney is bringing back store label brands like St. John's Bay that were eliminated by Johnson. The company also is working to restage the home departments in the 500 stores where new designers like Jonathan Adler and Michael Graves were added.
Ullman said that early feedback from customers made it clear that they want a more balanced assortment of trendy and traditional merchandise. Ullman also said that Penney will be rebuilding areas for luggage, frames and window coverings, which were cut back under Johnson.
Besides worries about the company's merchandising strategy, a big concern has been that Penney does not have enough cash on hand to fund its turnaround. But on Tuesday, Penney reiterated that it ended the quarter with $1.53 billion in cash.
While some analysts said liquidity remains a concern, Sosnick, the Gilford Securities analyst, believes that Penney has the cash needed to get through an extended turnaround.
"The episode from hell is over, and Penney has deeper problems than ever before — but we believe it still retains the goodwill of its core shoppers and that they will return and shop more frequently as assortments of traditional lines are rebuilt," he said.
Penney shares rose 79 cents to close at $14.01, and hit $14.39 earlier in the day. Before Tuesday, shares have been down nearly 70 percent in value since February 2012 when investors pushed up shares to $43 on optimism over Johnson's plan.
Penneys results show some signs of life