text:
These SFE Collection Prescription Glasses have a unique design and are also extremely comfortable. They also come in a great colour variation.
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text:
Dodgers start David Wells, LHP (6-8, 5.46) vs. Jack Cassel, RHP (0-0, 6.00).
Dodgers: 70-63 (3rd place NL West, 4.0 GB; 3rd place WC, 3.0 GB; W4)
Padres: 73-60 (2nd place NL Wast, 1.0 GB; 1st place WC, 2.0 GA; L1)
Current postseason odds for the Dodgers, from Baseball Prospectus: 27.7%
From Dodgers.com, the scouting report on the starters:
Dodgers: Wells rose to the occasion of his Big Apple return as a Dodger on national television, with five effective innings and even started the winning rally with a bunt single. Just seeing him chugging down the first-base line was priceless. Now he gets to show if it was a one-shot deal or if he has enough left to help in a September surge.Padres: Cassel will be recalled from Triple-A Portland in order to make his first Major League start. Cassel made his first big league appearance on Aug. 10 at Cincinnati, allwoing two runs on two hits over three innings of relief. Cassel has appeared in 27 games (24 for starts) for Triple-A Portland, going 7-14 with a 3.91 ERA.
From Inside the Dodgers, the lineup:
Furcal, SS
Pierre, CF
Kemp, RF
Kent, 2B
Ethier, LF
Martin, C
Loney, 1B
Hillenbrand, 3B
Wells, P

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Fortepan (132309 images)
Fortepan is an online photo archives. All of the images are licensed under Creative Commons CC-BY-SA-3.0 and can be freely used. If you wish to publish any of them, please give the credit in the following format: FOTO:FORTEPAN / name of donor.
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text:
5 Awesome Party Ideas for Cinco de Mayo
You don't have to be of Mexican heritage to partake in Cinco de Mayo festivities, or even to throw your own bash. Here are five tips for planning the best Cinco de Mayo party this side of the border:
1. BYO Dip
Instead of asking everyone to BYOB, ask your attendees to bring their own dip while you provide lots of chips. If necessary, dole out dip responsibilities. Think guacamole, queso, super spicy, green tomatillo and salsa of the freshly chopped variety.
2. Red, Green and White
Incorporate as much red, green, and white -- the Mexican flag's colors -- into your decor. You can even ask people to dress in the colors for an especially festive get-together.
3. Say Yes to Pinata
Bring back childhood birthday party memories with a pinata at your upcoming Cinco de Mayo party. Instead of candy, fill the pinata with tiny (plastic) bottles of booze or Mexican treats.
4. Musico de Mexico
A Cinco de Mayo party is not complete without the perfect jam list of Mexican tunes. Create a playlist of especially festive music and play it nice and loud. If your budget allows, consider hiring a live Mariachi band.
5. Practice Cactus
Line your front entryway with tiny pots of cacti to get people in the mood for your Cinco de Mayo fiesta. Offer one to each guest as a party favor on their way out.
- Additional reporting by Wendy Gould


text:
(We'll be updating this post; most recently at 6:30 p.m. ET.)
Add up the populations in areas that the is warning will get at least 1 to 2 feet of snow starting Friday afternoon and you quickly see just how serious the situation will be.
About 50 million people are in the potentially historic storm's path.
Blizzard and winter storm warnings cover an area from Pennsylvania and New Jersey up through all of New York state and east through New England. And according to the Weather Service:
"As much as one to two feet of snow is forecast from the New York City metro area to Maine, with localized heavier amounts possible. This, in addition to wind gusts as high as 60-75 mph, will create significant impacts to transportation and power."
It's probably no surprise that schools, government offices and businesses across the area are closed or closing early. Trying to get to the region today? Good luck. Airlines are canceling flights. Amtrak won't be running north from New York City or south from Boston starting early Friday afternoon.
As WBUR reports, the simple advice from Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick (D) is to stay home. Our colleagues at WNYC have a " complete guide to getting snowed in" for anyone looking for advice on such things as "essential snow day snacking."
Power outages, of course, are a major concern. The storm's timing, though, is relatively fortunate. At least work crews will have a weekend, when commuters are off the roads, to get streets cleared and power lines reconnected.
Good luck to all those in the way of this storm. We'll keep an eye on things and update as warranted.
Update at 6:30 p.m. ET. Heavy Snow, Power Outages:
Snow is now bearing down on New England and The Boston Globe reports there are already 5,000 without power.
Meteorologist Mark Rosenthal told WBUR that "it's going to be a wild night."
He said he expected the storm to start winding down Saturday morning.
Update at 1:15 p.m. ET. We're Always Looking For Fun Photos, Videos, Etc.:
If you're stuck in the snow the next day or two and looking for things to do, consider applying your snow sculpture and social media skills. Slideshows, videos, etc., of your creations or the accumulating snow could be great. And tell us in the comments thread or on the NPR Facebook page about good ones you produce or see.
We suspect many of you can do much better than this blogger did back in December 2009 and February 2010. A bigger challenge might be to match what Michael Black of New Jersey put together back then.
Update at 1 p.m. ET. In Massachusetts, Travel Ban At 4 p.m. ET; In Connecticut 'Things Are Starting To Accumulate':
Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick (D) tweets that he has "signed an Executive Order banning vehicles on the road effective at 4 p.m. today." ( His order is posted here.) States and localities across the affected area are declaring states of emergency. The Hartford Courant says that in Connecticut, "Gov. Dannel P. Malloy [D] declared a state of emergency Friday and said he is coordinating with state officials in New York and Massachusetts about whether to close highways as a potentially crippling snow storm moved into the region. ... 'Things are starting to accumulate,' Malloy said, explaining that cars getting stuck on highways would be problematic and slow down the cleanup process."
Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


text: This course introduces you to important concepts and terminology for working with Google Cloud Platform (GCP). You learn about, and compare, many of the computing and storage services available in Google Cloud Platform, including Google App Engine, Google Compute Engine, Google Kubernetes Engine, Google Cloud Storage, Google Cloud SQL, and BigQuery. You learn about important resource and policy management tools, such as the Google Cloud Resource Manager hierarchy and Google Cloud Identity and Access Management. Hands-on labs give you foundational skills for working with GCP.


text:
"Powerless and Clueless" was today's top headline on the Times of India's front page.
India's Economic Times went with "Superpower India, RIP."
The Hindustan Times says two straight days of massive blackouts paint "a dismaying picture [for] a country striving for a bigger role on the global stage."
While officials say the power is back on after outages that left about 370 million Indians without electricity for much of Monday and an astounding 670 million or so in the dark for much of Tuesday, the power grid failures have the news media and millions of people in India "fuming," as the BBC says.
And the sometimes farcical sounding news continues. According to the Times of India:
"New power minister Veerappa Moily, who was appointed to the post in a Cabinet reshuffle even as Tuesday's unprecedented crisis was still playing out, admitted he faced an enormous task in restoring public confidence.
" 'It is a very difficult and challenging situation, and solutions will have to be found,' Moily said in a series of interviews with Indian television networks, one of which was interrupted by a blackout." [We added the bold for emphasis.]
Our colleague Scott Neuman writes this morning that "it might be too early to say what the exact cause of India's latest massive power outage is, but in its simplest form, it probably has something to do with supply and demand –- not enough of the former and too much of the latter."
Indian officials are blaming the blackouts on "energy-hungry states guzzling more than their allotted power" and crashing the grid, the Hindustan Times writes.
One more thing about the outages: Not only have they been the largest ever, at one point on Tuesday about 10 percent of the world's total population was affected.
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


text:
Version Date: Feb 18, 2009 View help for published
Principal Investigator(s): View help for Principal Investigator(s)
United States Department of Health and Human Services. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Center for Substance Abuse Treatment
Version V4
The National Treatment Improvement Evaluation Study (NTIES) is a congressionally-mandated five-year study of the impact of drug and alcohol treatment on thousands of clients in hundreds of treatment units that received public support from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), Center for Substance Abuse Treatment (CSAT). NTIES inquired about the allocation of grant money to treatment programs, to investigate what improvements were made with these monies and how many and what type of clients were affected by the grant awards. The NTIES project collected longitudinal data on a purposive sample of clients in treatment programs receiving CSAT demonstration grant funding. Client-level data were obtained at treatment intake, at treatment exit, and 12 months after treatment exit. Service delivery unit (SDU) administrative and clinician (SDU staff) data were obtained at two time points, one year apart. Data were collected across several important outcome areas, including drug and alcohol use, physical and mental health, criminal activity, social functioning, and employment. For a random sample of approximately half of those interviewed, urine specimens were collected at follow-up to corroborate clients' self-reports of substance abuse, in addition to arrest records to validate self-reports. Substances covered in the study included alcohol, analgesics, antianxiety medications, anticonvulsants, antidepressants, antimanics, barbiturates, cocaine (powder and crack), depressants, hallucinogens/psychedelics, heroin and other opiates, illegal methadone, inhalants, marijuana/hashish, methadone, methamphetamine/amphetamine and other stimulants, narcotics, and sedatives.
Export Citation:
Users are reminded by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration that these data are intended to be used solely for statistical analysis, reporting, and evaluation of aggregated information and not for investigation of specific individuals or organizations.
Data were collected by the National Opinion Research Center (NORC) at the University of Chicago with assistance from Research Triangle Institute, Research Triangle Park, NC. The NTIES public use files were prepared by NORC and deposited by Caliber Associates, Arlington, VA, under the National Evaluation Data Services (NEDS) contract with CSAT.
To fully utilize the NTIES study design for analytic purposes, the combination of records from two or more of the client-level data files is necessary. Some combination of intake records (NRIQ), treatment exit records (NTEQ), treatment follow-up records (NPAQ), treatment services abstracts (NPRAF), or clinical unit records (NCLU) is needed to adequately assess changes in client behaviors over time. Client records can be matched between data files using the CASEID variable.
To protect the privacy of respondents, all variables that could be used to identify individuals have been removed from or edited in the public use file. Because of the disclosure alterations, estimates derived from the public use file will not always exactly match the detailed results published in SAMHSA reports, but the alterations should not affect analytic uses of the data.
Due to the disclosure alterations, there are slight inconsistencies in the categorical ranges for "hours worked" variables between the NRIQ and NPAQ files.
Individuals served by CSAT grants were generally from vulnerable and underserved populations (minorities, pregnant women, youth, public housing residents, welfare recipients, and those in the criminal justice system). Results from the NTIES may not generalize to all clients in substance abuse treatment or to all kinds of service delivery units.
NTIES measured the outcomes of treatment primarily through a method known as a "before/after" or "pre/post" panel design. From a universe of 698 SDUs, 82 SDUs were selected on a purposive basis for participation in NTIES. Of the 82, clients from 78 SDUs (for an SDU response rate of 95 percent) were included in the study. Clients were interviewed three times: shortly after their first day of treatment, when they left treatment, and then at 12 months after the end of treatment. The response rate among clients was 85 percent, with 6,593 clients participating in the Intake Questionnaire (NRIQ), 5,274 participating in the Treatment Experience Questionnaire (NTEQ), and 5,388 participating in the Postdischarge Assessment Questionnaire (NPAQ). Records abstraction was completed for 6,420 clients. The records of those respondents participating in all three interviews are flagged by the variable "IN_4411" in the NPAQ data file (Part 3). This is referred to as the Outcome Analysis Sample and includes 4,411 records, or 67 percent of those participating in the initial interview. Some cases were excluded from the analysis sample for reasons other than nonparticipation in the three interviews, such as when the treatment exit date was missing or undetermined, length of the interval for the follow-up interview was inappropriate (less than 5 or more than 16 months), or the client was incarcerated for most or all of the follow-up period. Of the SDUs sampled for the NTIES outcome analysis, 44 percent were Target Cities programs, 38 percent were Critical Populations programs, and 23 percent were Criminal Justice programs. Criminal Justice SDUs that were funded as part of the CSAT 1990-1992 demonstrations were purposely oversampled as part of the NTIES evaluation design. Nearly half of the sampled SDUs were non-methadone outpatient programs, and about one-quarter were long-term residential programs.
Substance abuse treatment units in the United States receiving funding from CSAT under one of three demonstration grants: Target Cities, Critical Populations, and Criminal Justice.
personal interviews and patient records
2009-02-18 New files were added. These files included one or more of the following: Stata setup, SAS transport (CPORT), SPSS system, Stata system, SAS supplemental syntax, and Stata supplemental syntax files, and tab-delimited ASCII data file.
2005-11-04 On 2005-03-14 new files were added to one or more datasets. These files included additional setup files as well as one or more of the following: SAS program, SAS transport, SPSS portable, and Stata system files. The metadata record was revised 2005-11-04 to reflect these additions.
2004-03-22 Corrections to variable labels were made in the codebooks and data definition statements for Parts 1 and 3.
2001-05-29 Part 5, the NTIES Clinical Unit Data (NCLU), was added to the data collection. The NCLU file contains data related to the service delivery unit (SDU) in which the client received treatment. Minor revisions were also made to the codebooks for Parts 1 through 4.
2000-10-16 ICPSR data undergo a confidentiality review and are altered when necessary to limit the risk of disclosure. ICPSR also routinely creates ready-to-go data files along with setups in the major statistical software formats as well as standard codebooks to accompany the data. In addition to these procedures, ICPSR performed the following processing steps for this data collection:
The public-use data files in this collection are available for access by the general public. Access does not require affiliation with an ICPSR member institution.


text:
snook closed
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) voted to keep the recreational harvest of snook in Gulf of Mexico waters closed for another year to offer the species additional protection after a 2010 cold kill detrimentally affected the population.
The decision came at the June 28 Commission meeting in Palm Beach Gardens after staff presented an updated stock assessment that showed snook populations are improving in the Atlantic and are not in biological jeopardy in the Gulf. The next assessment is due in 2015.
"If we have a bad winter this year, we will benefit from this caution; if we don't have a bad winter, we will let all these breeding fish come through the slot," said Vice Chairman Kenneth Wright, referring to the snook slot limit of 28 to 33 inches in Gulf of Mexico waters. "We'll really have done something good and we'll have protected some of these fish."
The recreational snook season was closed in Gulf of Mexico and Atlantic waters by executive order on Jan.16, 2010, after the cold kill. The FWC manages snook in both state and federal waters, though the species tends to inhabit the shallower, near-shore state waters. The effects of the cold kill were less severe on the Atlantic coast, where the normal season reopened for harvest Sept. 1, 2011.
The Gulf of Mexico recreational season was to reopen Sept. 1, 2012, and now is expected to reopen Sept. 1, 2013. Catch-and-release of snook will be allowed during the closure. In the Atlantic, the season will remain unchanged. Annual closures in the Atlantic are from Dec. 15 through Jan. 31 and from June 1 through Aug. 31.
There is no commercial harvest for snook in Florida.
Snook are one of Florida's premier game fish, and anglers often practice catch-and-release techniques when targeting this species. When planning to release snook, proper handling techniques ensure the best chance of survival. This includes returning the fish to the water as quickly as possible; using wet hands to handle the fish; supporting its weight in a horizontal position when the fish is out of the water; not holding the fish by the gill plate, eye or jaw; and reviving the fish if necessary by running it through the water head-first to allow water to flow over its gills.
Learn more about snook by visiting www.MyFWC.com/Fishing and clicking on "Saltwater," "Recreational Regulations" and "Snook."
—Source: FWC


text:
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text:
Product Description
Custom Black Baseball Jersey with Orange
JerseyFanatics provides this Custom Black Baseball Jersey with Orange. You can customize this baseball uniform with the team logo, name and number of your own name. This custom baseball jersey is the close to what the pros wear featuring twill numbers. We want fans to make a vibrant look on the field or daily life by personalizing baseball jerseys.
- On-field jersey
- Full-button front
- Material: 100% Polyester
- Stitched tackle twill numbers and name
- Breathable & Quick-Drying
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- No-tag neck label for clean comfort
- Machine wash, Do Not Tumble Dry
- Non-alcoholic Available For Wiping or Washing
- Customized jersey is final sale and cannot be cancelled, changed, returned or refunded after order has been placed


text:
Tree Removal Services Clifton Gardens
Sam's Tree Removal Services Clifton Gardens are North Shore and Northern Beaches preferred tree removal providers for domestic and commercial tree removal, tree lopping and land clearing services. Our team has currently been operating for more than 10 years hence attaining the necessary industry experience necessary to provide clients with a high quality and worth while service. Our team here at Sam's Tree Services North Shore and Northern Beaches only recruits' staff whom are highly trained and familiar with the tree removal and cleaning process. Our Tree Removal Clifton Gardens crew have been trained and are equipped with the necessary and appropriate tools and equipment deemed necessary for cutting, stump grinding and removing trees in a skilled, efficient and professional manner. In addition our Clifton Gardens crew are trained to act in a manner which is safe, thus, preventing the causation of any possible damage or unsafe practice when on site.
Our services of Tree Removals varies directly from plainly removing a rotten tree from your front yard to carrying out complex tree removals and cleaning, whether it be domestic or commercial.
We cannot stress the importance of essentially recognising trees which have grown to closely to your Clifton Gardens house as this in itself may pose as a danger to members living within the house and to surrounding residents. Such threats and natural hazards may be caused as a result of severe external conditions beyond control such as weather. As a result, Sam's Tree Removal Clifton Gardens stresses the importance of such as a hazard and highly recommends you contact our professional and skilled Clifton Gardens Tree Services in order to carry out your tree removal and stump grinding service.
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Trees deemed appropriate to be lopped are those trees which have especially grown too large or even those trees which have grown extremely close to your Clifton Gardens house, residential building or even too close to the general public. If this has occurred, it is crucial to contact our professional tree lopping Clifton Gardens crew in order to provide you with the most efficient Tree Lopping Service. In order to obtain the best job, we recommend you employ a skilled team to assess and provide sufficient advice in relation to how we may provide an efficient and cost satiable process to tree lopping your trees in a safe and secure manner.
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Cleaning – this aspect of the tree cleaning process involves removing any and all dead or dying branches and leaves.
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Our Clifton Gardens tree pruners are equipped with the appropriate tools and equipment necessary for providing clients with an efficient and safe Tree Pruning service here in Clifton Gardens without causing any damage. Tree Pruning is a similar process to that of Tree Trimming; however, Tree Pruning involves the conduction of a service that is provided specifically to younger trees which have not yet been completely developed, hence allowing our team to shape their physical development and appearance. This is a beneficial process as it allows us to improve the strength of a tree and to shape the tree in a way that suits your desires.
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Nowadays, the use of pesticides is being banned hence leaving residents and businesses with the task of finding new ways of removing weeds from their property. However, here at Sam's Tree Services we offer a better alternative. This process is known as Mulching and involves an organic and natural way to prevent the germination of weeds. Our trained and qualified Clifton Gardens mulching team will provide clients with a cost-efficient and safe way of eliminating the germination of weeds.
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text:
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Thursday, December 4, 2008
[basking] Mmmm.
Ok, enough of that. On to the Wreckage!
Now, while schools and religious and community organizations the world over strive to celebrate all the goodness of the season, bakeries are fighting back the only way they know how: with an unfolding drama of tragedy, anger, and mutation - right there among the rye and pumpernickel.
First, let's set the scene with a nice crackling fire in the ol' fireplace:
See, I know this is a fireplace (and not Mount Vesuvius) because it says "Fireplace" on the cake board. [tapping temple] I'm "smaht" like that.
Next let's meet some of the characters featured in this month's tale of Christmas*-gone-wrong:
Ah, here we have the Ghost of Reindeers Past, obviously rendered by a Salvador Dali enthusiast. The gaping hole where his nose used to be reminds us of the fragility of life; the melting ears of how rarely we stop to listen; and the giant red spooge of...uh... how we should always use a napkin after eating? Yeah, let's go with that.
Next there's Snappy, the stitched-together Yuletide monster:
He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches.
Oh, and let's not forget the Turdaphants:
These harbingers of Christmas "cheer" are perpetually puckered up, the better to suck your spirit dry with.
And finally, there's the Big Guy himself:
He just hasn't been the same since he lost his nose in that unfortunate sledding accident. Oh, and best not to let on that you can tell his beard is fake; that's how Rudolph got his trick knee.
Thanks to today's casting agents: Jennifer E., Carly O., Heidi A., Laura F., and Khara K!
* Yep, I've decided to live dangerously and use the word "Christmas" this month. If that offends you, rest assured that none of these Wrecks are going to make "Christmas" look good. :)
183 comments | Post a Comment
- Sabagirl said...
Are the round, scary things with the pretzel ears supposed to be Rudolph??
Are the red dollops that you thought were mouths actually red bulbs on the end of a horrid brown nose?? - December 4, 2008 at 9:35 AM
- Unknown said...
I swear that Dali Reindeer is a leftover easter bunny cake pan! Too funny
- December 4, 2008 at 9:36 AM
I didn't see the writing on the first one and I had no idea what it was!
- December 4, 2008 at 9:37 AM
- Meg said...
It looks like Snappy is a CCC! Not that he could be anymore frightening, though.
These are unbelieveable! - December 4, 2008 at 9:37 AM
"He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches."
THAT may be the best line I have ever read, in my humble opinion!!! - December 4, 2008 at 9:40 AM
- RevAllyson said...
I had to laugh at the turd thingies... wow that was scarey! LOL. As to Christmas being used, well that is one of the holidays at this time of year. And you used Yule as well, so you covered those of us who are more pagan-y. ;) Now we just have to find some Ramadan and Channukah CakeWrecks and we'll be totally covered! *grin*
- December 4, 2008 at 9:41 AM
- Jenners said...
I've come across your blog a few time and finally made it here and now I see what all the fuss is about!!!! I'll keep my eyes peeled now... you are a genius!
- December 4, 2008 at 9:42 AM
- Chelsea said...
I think that first one (the dog-reindeer thing) might be an attempt at replicating the dog from How The Grinch Stole Christmas... he was quite an awkward looking dog.
But I'd have to google a picture of that dog to be able to tell.
I can't comment on the scary gingerbread man or the melting santa beard... - December 4, 2008 at 9:42 AM
- Grandma J said...
Those have got to be some of the worst (best) wrecks I've ever seen! Absolutely unbelievable!
- December 4, 2008 at 9:46 AM
"He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches."
Best. Line. EVER. - December 4, 2008 at 9:47 AM
- sues2u2 said...
Okay I can't resist this one on Snappy, the gingerbread man?
"I vill pump you up!"
And that's all I'm going to say! - December 4, 2008 at 9:50 AM
- Momza said...
This post cracked me up! I LOVE that the expectation is set so low for these "decorators" that it makes my small attempts at creativity look better! Thanks for sharing!
- December 4, 2008 at 9:50 AM
Even though it says "fireplace", I'm not sure I believe it.
- December 4, 2008 at 9:53 AM
When I first scrolled down to that third cake, my first thought was that the black square was there for censoring purpouses.
- December 4, 2008 at 9:53 AM
After reading Rebecca's comment and re-evaluating the picture... I think I might have to agree with her. I think that it might be an attempt at Rudolph. However, it kinda looks like Snuffy from Sesame Street to me... with a ball shoved up his trunk of course.
And all I hear when I look at Santa and his melting beard is the chorus of "An-gry eyes..." (sung to the tune of Hungry Eyes) - December 4, 2008 at 9:55 AM
- Arlynn said...
This is wrong on so many counts, especially the "fireplace" and monster. And ar those supposed to be cupcakes in the shape of a gingerbread man??? No.....
- December 4, 2008 at 9:55 AM
I thought the first cake was actually a bunch of leftover turkeys, all piled on each other.
Guess it's been a long day. - December 4, 2008 at 9:56 AM
I love how the little black box on the "gingerbread" man looks like it's covering up his privates. Double-win for that baker!
- December 4, 2008 at 9:56 AM
I think the blue eyed reindeer may also be a CCC. Sure looks like it. Talk about some ugly cakes. As far as being PC...I have no problem calling something what it is....these are obviously Christmas cakes...if they were Hanakah cakes call them that. I am not a fan of everything being a "Holiday cake" so thank you for using the appropriate term.
- December 4, 2008 at 9:59 AM
- Garret said...
Baker 1: What the hell is that?
Baker 2: A fireplace.
Baker 1: Ya better label it.
http://jimandgarret.blogspot.com/ - December 4, 2008 at 10:03 AM
Why is Santa so angry? I didn't think I was supposed to be scared of him!
- December 4, 2008 at 10:07 AM
- Hi Kooky said...
I've looked at a lot of cakes here, but the Turdaphants cake is the first one to really scare me. I didn't realize what they might be until I read Rebecca's comment. Rudolph? Is that you?
- December 4, 2008 at 10:08 AM
"goodwill towards those who think the same way you do"
I think I love you for that line. - December 4, 2008 at 10:11 AM
Egads! The horrors! Fireplace? right! The 'reindeer' actually reminds me of Max, the Grinch's dog, when he ties his ears up to put on the reindeer antlers. And does it have a mouth AND a weird red squiggle? That's one of the strangest things ever. I would think the red squiggle thing would be a nose...but it also has a 'nose'...so anyway you look at it, this animal has an extra appendage on it's face...Or it got a little crazy at the Reindeer Christmas party and has some frosting still on it's face...
"He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches."
That CCC may be a huge Fail, but that comment is an Epic WIN!
Turdaphants? Is it bad if I think the cupcake variety is almost cute? I'm sorry I'm sorry....(hang's head in shame then whispers, "but they are")
"On the first day of Cmas Cake Wrecks, Jen brought to me, a reindeer in the shape of a floppy-eared bunny!"
whoohoo! Thus begins the twelve days of Christmas Cake wrecks.
~Bonnie B~ - December 4, 2008 at 10:16 AM
omg, these wrecks are really wrecktacular this morning :) the dali reindeer - too funny!
how could anyone have a problem with you using the word christmas? you're not excluding anyone - you're just referencing the holiday you like this season :) I'm sure you'd be quick to post ramadan or kwanzaa cakes too :) I'll keep a look out... - December 4, 2008 at 10:19 AM
- Mari said...
Oh my, these are unrecognizable! And how are the turdaphants related to Christmas exactly?
I am so confused...
and a little scared...
hold me... - December 4, 2008 at 10:22 AM
- Margaret Chayka said...
I can just hear the gears turning when the baker got done with the fireplace: ("Crap, I better write "Fireplace" somewhere so they know what it is")
Har-har-har! What a great crop o' cakes! - December 4, 2008 at 10:26 AM
- The Tildy Spot said...
These "cakes" are absolutely amazing to me. I can't believe that a "professional" baker would sell these to anyone!
- December 4, 2008 at 10:33 AM
- ruby42 said...
I would love to leave a witty comment right here, but I am speechless.
Santa looks like he vomited his beard off. Which, incidentally, I feel like doing now after seeing "Snappy." Wow. I believe the term I am looking for is "Hot. Ghetto. Mess."
And, that fireplace? No words will come..... - December 4, 2008 at 10:33 AM
- thisisbeth said...
I thought the second one was a dog with a messed-up nose, sticking out his tongue. Still a wreck, but not quite as wreckish as a reindeer.
- December 4, 2008 at 10:43 AM
The 'gingerbread man' looks like some one tried to strangle him...
Thanks to Cake Wrecks, I don't know if I can ever look at chocolate frosting the same way again... - December 4, 2008 at 10:44 AM
Wait - I thought Frosty was the one who melted, not Santa!
- December 4, 2008 at 10:46 AM
The first one looks like a turkey had a run in with a transport truck.
- December 4, 2008 at 10:52 AM
Did you note that the Dali Reindeer is a CCC? 'Cause it just makes the cake even more unpalatable... :)
-Johanna - December 4, 2008 at 10:54 AM
Why would you hesitate to use "Christmas" when you're talking about Christmas-themed cakes? Presumably you wouldn't use it to describe wrecks related to other holidays. Don't buy into this whole "War on Christmas" crap. The only attacks on Christmas are when things that are ACTUALLY Christmas (like, you know, a decorated fir tree) are deemed to be "not Christmas". (Now, there's nothing inherently "Christmas" about greeting someone, and there's nothing insulting about "happy holidays".)
- December 4, 2008 at 11:02 AM
- Dave and Catherine said...
Way to go using "Christmas!" Keep it up!
- December 4, 2008 at 11:05 AM
- The Courteous Chihuahua said...
"He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches."
I haven't bought a Cake Wrecks shirt yet. If this one becomes available, I'm in!!
As for the first cake, I'm mildly disappointed there weren't any chestnuts roasting on that fire (at least I don't THINK there were). I would love to see what THOSE looked like. - December 4, 2008 at 11:05 AM
I LOVE these, thanks for making my break between a final and a final paper so much more enjoyable
Yay for using Christmas! Holidays, honestly? I'm more offended with them using holidays than they must be with me for using Christmas. Offended not only because they think we're forcing religion on them, but that they're ruining hundreds of years of tradition. It's a saying, like Good Morning. - December 4, 2008 at 11:06 AM
- Kell said...
That fireplace is hilarious!!!!!! I love this blog!
http://trulyhideousgifts.blogspot.com/ - December 4, 2008 at 11:07 AM
- Word Ninja said...
seriously, can sometime please send out a brown icing apb to all bakers ASAP?!?! It's just plain wrong.
- December 4, 2008 at 11:10 AM
- Sheri said...
The fireplace is terrifically unappetizing...and whoever eats that is going to go into major sugar shock. MAN that is a lot of icing!
When I first looked at Santa, I was trying to figure out if the icing fell off the side of the cake or if that was supposed to be Santa's smile. LOL
And Snappy? I will have nightmares. - December 4, 2008 at 11:13 AM
- joyce said...
Snort. This clears the sinuses.
We need a cover-the-keyboard alert.
That gingerbread man is a CCC---and it looks like a stick-up.
Fireplace? Huh? - December 4, 2008 at 11:15 AM
- Bellesouth said...
The pretzel reindeer is obviously swiped from a Krafts-for-Kids magazine.
The Santa. Oh dear Christ the Santa. These are too much! - December 4, 2008 at 11:16 AM
- Andrea said...
Good thing they told us it was a fireplace. It looks to me like they have left over Fall colored frosting and decided to just poop it all on a cake and try and pretend it was intentional
- December 4, 2008 at 11:17 AM
- Lisa Deon said...
Okay, the "Fireplace" logs look like a re-vamped "Thanksgiving Turkey" that was leftover and recycled.
The rest of them just scream "What the F*%# is THAT?" - December 4, 2008 at 11:23 AM
Clearly Mr. Dali Reindog is licking his chops in anticipation of chomping on the yummy Snappy gingerbread CCC that he can just see up to his right who taunts him... "Run, Run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, you're legless!" *sigh* If only the great decorator in the sky had given me legs!
--Becky - December 4, 2008 at 11:26 AM
- Jamie said...
I would totally buy that gingerbread monster, if only for the hilarity. That Santa, however? He looks aaaaangry. He looks like he's about to pop a cap in whoever failed to finish his beard.
- December 4, 2008 at 11:28 AM
- Lulubelle B said...
I believe the turdaphants are very happy to see us. Rotate the photo...but not with the kids in the room.
word verification: ginghton
the birthplace of gingham - don't ask about its checkered past - December 4, 2008 at 11:29 AM
- BSumner said...
I'm pretty sure that gingerbread man is having issues with his adenoids.
- December 4, 2008 at 11:32 AM
- Lori said...
I think that second "cake" is supposed to be the Grinch's dog, Max from the animated version. I mean, shouldn't reindeer have antlers?
PS - THE WORD VERIFICATION IS CRINGLE! Ahahahahaha - December 4, 2008 at 11:32 AM
- ilovebabyquilts said...
I agree with Bonnie B., the small elephant rudolph cupcakes are very cute! But the larger version looks like a Snuffleupagus on crack. The Snappy "cake" is the worst cake I have seen in a while. And I read your blog every day so i've seen some bad cakes.
- December 4, 2008 at 11:36 AM
- PumaViking said...
@Allyson: Well, Ramadan was a couple months ago, so I think we're clear on that one. I bet there's some fabulous potential for New Year's Wrecks, though.... Fireworks gone awfully wrong, Father Time, someone trying to spell Auld Lang Syne.... :)
- December 4, 2008 at 11:36 AM
- KatieHen said...
i stared at that first picture for forever on my dashboard page trying to figure out what it was. HOW is that a fireplace?! really, that's sad! i think they wrote "fireplace" on there after they finished because they didn't want to answer everyone's questions when they asked "what the heck is that?"
also...the second picture and the third picture were just...STRANGE. did they look at a picture of a reindeer and gingerbread man before they decided to make these? that was awful. - December 4, 2008 at 11:41 AM
*dies* at the sticker on the reindeer cake. "Pull Apart Cake". Bwahhaha....
- December 4, 2008 at 11:42 AM
- Unknown said...
Dali? and cakes?
I like Bonnie's idea about the '12 days of Christmas, My Cakewrecks broguht to me....'
And in closing, thank you for maintaining your non-PCness and using the name of the holiday correctly...long live Christmas and it's title. - December 4, 2008 at 11:42 AM
Ahahaha. This post made me laugh so hard. The gingerbread-man wannabe cake is the scariest gingerbread dude I have ever seen.
And the turd pretzel reindeers...amazing! - December 4, 2008 at 11:44 AM
- Trevor said...
The really sad thing is that Santa is the only cake I could identify what it was supposed to be! The rest... frightening!
- December 4, 2008 at 11:50 AM
Can we vote for a moratorium on Walmart theme cakes and cccs that were not special ordered. Every grocery store has bad cakes setting out for purchase, that's too east. I like the compare and contrast of "What I ordered vs. what I got", or wrecks that come from what should be a good bakery (Walmart need not apply).
I know it's exciting for people to take pictures and see them posted, but when your spending $20 at the local grocer's bakery you get what you pay for. I prefer the cakes that the bakery probably tried to charge $100+ for that shouldn't have ben allowed to see anything beyond the garbage bin.
I'm just sayin'. I do love the blog very much though. - December 4, 2008 at 11:56 AM
"goodwill towards those who think the same way you do"
I love that comment. And it pretty much sums up why I'm NOT on the "holiday party" committee this year. - December 4, 2008 at 11:57 AM
- Kevin said...
Somebody garrotted Santa. He's bleeding out all over the cake plate and that glittery golden scarf.
- December 4, 2008 at 12:06 PM
- Julie said...
Wow! Ok. I'll admit I like icing a lot more than I like cake, but that fireplace - come on! That was enough icing to properly decorate a dozen cakes. Yuck!
The brown circles with the red "lips" reminded me of big birds imaginary friend Snuffalopagus. Not a resemblance of any Christmas character I've ever seen.
Great wreckage!! - December 4, 2008 at 12:06 PM
- r00tgurl said...
totally thought the gingerbread man had a lil somethin somethin censored out, but it was just a packing label
- December 4, 2008 at 12:14 PM
- Feisty Irish Wench said...
Anonymous said...
The first one looks like a turkey had a run in with a transport truck.
December 4, 2008 10:52 AM
And here I was looking at it, and suddenly that "On top of Spaghetti" song comes to mind.... - December 4, 2008 at 12:14 PM
- Denise said...
Snappy made me LOL. Santa is just sad.
They should put pepper in the fireplace cake so it can burn your mouth just like it burns your eyes! - December 4, 2008 at 12:17 PM
- Mary said...
Thanks for using the word "Christmas". It's nice. :)
- December 4, 2008 at 12:18 PM
- carrie said...
Am I the only one who thinks that Snaps the CCC looks like ET at the North Pole?
- December 4, 2008 at 12:21 PM
- Hyena Overlord said...
Cupcake cakes are an abomination in the wrong hands. I thought there was an instruction manual out there.
The reindeer ccc looks like the little dog from the Grinch, after he gets run over by a whomobile.
Those reindeer cakes with the red noses look like sea elephants with cold sores. Eck.
And the santa cake. Obviously some hasn't heard that gravity was discovered. Gravity is something you need to make allowances for and take seriously.
wvotd motoge..."The cupcakes were all spooged together, in a motoge of wreck. Like birds of a feather, all flocking on wrecks"
Bad poetry, I has mad skillz. - December 4, 2008 at 12:31 PM
Wow! That turdaphant's mouth looks eerily like my puppy's a$$ end when he had a bad case of hemorrhoids. YUCK! Won't be eating that.
- December 4, 2008 at 12:31 PM
Snappy the Gingerbread Man appears to have an entire doughnut lodged in his throat...or is suffering from a goiter. Or both.
- December 4, 2008 at 12:33 PM
- HorribleLicensePlates said...
It looks like santa is mellllllting.
- December 4, 2008 at 12:36 PM
- Boozy Tooth said...
Let me get this straight... a fireplace cake? For real? Even if it were possible to do that well, why would you bother? Nobody wants a fireplace cake.
Commentary is five star as usual. Dear God you crack me up. - December 4, 2008 at 12:36 PM
- Scritzy said...
"He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches."
Okay, that one almost gave me a heart attack. I was laughing so hard I couldn't catch my breath!
I agree that the fireplace cake was leftover fall colors plopped down. I can just hear the conversation:
"Boss, I used up the rest of the autumn frosting."
"Good job, Binky. Let's see your work."
*proudly shows Cake Wreck* "Pretty neat, huh?"
"Binky ... what the hell is that supposed to be?"
"A fireplace, boss! Can't you tell by the luscious black log I piped below the flames?"
"That's supposed to be fire? How about I fire you for wasting all that icing?"
"Boss, please don't fire me! I've got three kids, and I'm having enough trouble making ends meet as it is!"
"Well, you better think of a way to salvage that cake PDQ or you're out on your ear."
*pipes the word fireplace.
"Okay, Binky, you've saved your job. Put that one in the display case. Now go get to work on that gingerbread-man cupcake cake."
"Yes, Boss. Right away."
I can dream, can't I?
Word verification: tothr. If it's not one thing, it's tothr. - December 4, 2008 at 12:47 PM
- Jan said...
Is it really possible that I'm the only one who, when looking at that second monstrosity, sees Mr Hanky, the Christmas Poo?
- December 4, 2008 at 12:52 PM
- milkyway said...
Thanks for using "Christmas"... made my day. :) I'm not entirely sure why/how anyone could possibly be offended by that. After all, it *IS* Christmas, haha.
The wreckage is completely awesome. I want whatever those bakers are smoking. ;) - December 4, 2008 at 1:05 PM
These are hiliarious! So glad I found your blog. And Merry Christmas!! A little early.
- December 4, 2008 at 1:12 PM
- Lyz said...
My 4 year old (amazing intuitive) daughter looked at the "fireplace" and said, "WHAT is THAT?"
Those things are all hideous, and I love your commentary today, too.
And I hope you're happy, resting in the knowledge that I can't read your blog in peace - the 4 yr old AND 2 yr old insist on being present also. Thanks a LOT for being so darn family-friendly. - December 4, 2008 at 1:22 PM
- arensb said...
I've decided to live dangerously and use the word "Christmas" this month. If that offends you
I assume you're being sarcastic, but just in case you're not, or that someone thinks you're serious: I'm a flaming atheist, and I'm looking forward to Christmas for the same reasons everyone else is: trees, tinsel, presents, egg nog, parties, and, well, ugly but tasty cake wrecks. Yum! - December 4, 2008 at 1:28 PM
I thought the Reindeer was Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo. He's quite Mr. Hanky-esqu.
I'm also quite sad for the Santa, and the reindeer with pretzel ears. My two-year-old said, "OH NO!" Of course, he says that a lot...but in this case I think he's on to something!!! - December 4, 2008 at 1:29 PM
First, let's set the scene with a nice crackling fire in the ol' fireplace
When I first read that comment, I thought it said *mice* crackling fire, so I looked for the mice in it, dismayed that I couldn't see it.
*headdesk* - December 4, 2008 at 1:30 PM
- Meredith said...
If these are the types of things people make/eat at Christmas, I'm glad I celebrate Chanukah! ;)
- December 4, 2008 at 1:32 PM
The holidays have never been so unappetizing for me... thanks ;)
- December 4, 2008 at 1:36 PM
Long Time Lurker - I love your blog, but I am sorely disappointed that you are not included in the hot blogger 2009 calendar.
- Jennifer - December 4, 2008 at 1:42 PM
Snappy is just another example that CCCs should not exist!
- December 4, 2008 at 2:16 PM
The placement of the sticker on Snappy makes me feel as if he's got something censored, which makes it even creepier - if possible.
- December 4, 2008 at 2:30 PM
- Heather said...
Kudos to you for not tiptoeing around the word Christmas! Love the blog, keep the wrecks coming
:-) - December 4, 2008 at 2:42 PM
- MammaDucky said...
Oh my crap. Those are hilarious. Seeing these totally changed my grouchy demeanor today. Thanks for the laugh.
- December 4, 2008 at 2:47 PM
- Debbi said...
OK. The first "cake" (and I use that term loosely) reminds me of 1st grade when I labeled things in my "masterpieces" .. desk, table, lamp, etc. My teacher told me I did not have to do that because people would know what I was drawing, presumably. I guess the first cake "decorator" never got that memo ...
- December 4, 2008 at 2:53 PM
I don't know, Santa looks pretty pissed off to me - what's with the scowling eyebrows? Was everybody naughty this year?
- December 4, 2008 at 3:25 PM
- Cottagecheap said...
Ha, I like Anon, thought the black square was a censor bar. :D
I also think that "turdiphants" is way better than what I thought about when I saw those nassy 'trunks' - December 4, 2008 at 3:57 PM
- Queen of All Wild Things said...
When I looked at the first reindeer, I thought it was supposed to be a dog with a bloody tongue.
- December 4, 2008 at 4:22 PM
Is the "fireplace" a CCC??
It looks like one..
God help us if it is! - December 4, 2008 at 4:27 PM
"He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches."
Thankfully, I wasn't eating or drinking when I read this because I laughed so hard at that line. What a hot mess. Where do they find these decorators? Are they dropouts from culinary school??? - December 4, 2008 at 4:32 PM
"I assume you're being sarcastic, but just in case you're not, or that someone thinks you're serious: I'm a flaming atheist, and I'm looking forward to Christmas for the same reasons everyone else is: trees, tinsel, presents, egg nog, parties, and, well, ugly but tasty cake wrecks. Yum!"
Repeated in order for me to say "seconded"!
Of course you should use the "Christmas" when referring to these wrecks. No one else wants 'em! - December 4, 2008 at 4:55 PM
- Raina Cox said...
"Yep, I've decided to live dangerously and use the word 'Christmas' this month. If that offends you, rest assured that none of these Wrecks are going to make 'Christmas' look good."
You gentiles crack me up. So much tsuris over the birth of a little Jewish baby boy.
Cake is the great equalizer - delicious no matter the theme. - December 4, 2008 at 5:01 PM
- fuzzandfuzzlet said...
OMOGSH I am laughing so hard.
The fact that they had to label the fireplace in order for it to be identified has me cracking up. I think that is officially the funniest cake ever.
For some reason the pretzel eared thing reminds me of Mr Potato Head. - December 4, 2008 at 5:08 PM
- ipa said...
Now listen Jen,
I told you to stop it when you did the Thanksgiving Wrecks - you made my bladder go into overdrive AND now youv'e started up with Christmas Wrecks. I've had to go and buy another box of Depends. For God's sake woman - Have pity on the elderly! - December 4, 2008 at 5:10 PM
- Rookie Bebe said...
To Rebecca the first commenter - thank you for clearing up what the red blobs were. Bulbs. I absolutely went blank on that.
And why does santa look like he's in a wind tunnel?
I want to know if these actually get sold and how many have to be thrown away. - December 4, 2008 at 5:18 PM
the fireplace looks like a popped zit.
- December 4, 2008 at 5:20 PM
- Ms Ashley said...
Why does Santa's beard look like it's melting off his face!
- December 4, 2008 at 5:42 PM
- Unknown said...
I thought the fireplace was a slice of pizza. Nothing says Merry Christmas like the works!
- December 4, 2008 at 5:52 PM
- Jenny said...
Here's what my 4 year old says about the Santa cake... "Why's he look so mean? Maybe he's mad that he's messed up." Children are so perceptive!
- December 4, 2008 at 5:55 PM
- MaryO said...
I'm ROTFLMAO and have been all day! Between the commentary and the comments I.can't.stop.laughing.
I especially like Claire's observation of the popped zit and the fireplace "wreck"! That description is just about perfect!
Oh.My.God... I'm laughing again! Somebody stop me!!!!!!!! - December 4, 2008 at 6:17 PM
- Julie said...
OH MY WORD!! This site is hilarious. Now I will have to be on the lookout for really bad cakes whenever I go to the store. HA HA HA
Thanks for the laugh!
Julie - December 4, 2008 at 6:27 PM
- Leigh Ayn said...
Well this is probably the hardest I have ever laughed at anything on the internet!!!
I love it. - December 4, 2008 at 6:37 PM
- High Power Rocketry said...
: )
- December 4, 2008 at 6:43 PM
- Jamie and Angela said...
My 3-year old thought the fireplace cake was supposed to be a pile of garbage.
- December 4, 2008 at 6:49 PM
I agree with everyone who's probably STILL laughing at
"He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches."
And the "goodwill to those who think the same as you do."
I'm so going to sign my holiday--strike that--Christmas cards that way this year. Beeyotches!
This may be the best post I've seen all year from any blog. Thank you! - December 4, 2008 at 6:51 PM
- Clare K. R. Miller said...
Somehow I doubt there are going to be any Hanukkah, Yule, or Kwanzaa cake wrecks. (But if there ARE, you better post them!)
- December 4, 2008 at 6:57 PM
- Bridgete said...
Okay, to the comments about Ramadan, that was months ago. They also probably wouldn't make cakes for it, considering it's a month-long fasting period....
As for the use of the word Christmas, I do agree with the others there. I think the whole thing started with people getting offended when you would be in a store or something and at the end of the interaction (say when they hand you the shopping bag) they'd say Merry Christmas. I'm pretty sure no one cares if you use the word "Christmas" in reference to actual Christmas items. Otherwise all the stands would be advertising "holiday trees" right now. - December 4, 2008 at 7:05 PM
- The Littlest Gator said...
don't participate in the dumb war on Christmas thing. I love your site. but the deal is, no one except bill o'reilly really thinks there is a war on saying merry Christmas, people can say whatever they want. Don't be silly and don't perpetuate this nonsense. ugh
- December 4, 2008 at 7:23 PM
I thought the fireplace cake was actually a pile of laundry! And Santa looks like an angry pirate!
3littlepigs - December 4, 2008 at 7:33 PM
- Erin said...
THANK YOU for using the word Christmas!! And I am totally keeping my eyes open for wrecks. Haven't found any yet, but I'm waiting...
- December 4, 2008 at 8:19 PM
RE: 'reindeer' cake
1. Notice how they labeled it a 'pull apart cake' to try to avoid the stigma of being a CCC.
2. The 'gaping hole where his nose used to be' just reminds me of Michael Jackson. I'm just sayin'..... - December 4, 2008 at 8:27 PM
im probably the only one who thinks the first cake looks like a giant orgy :S
- December 4, 2008 at 8:33 PM
- Kai said...
"He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches."
I need to stop drinking when I read this blog...that's another monitor covered in soda... *g*
Word verification: "begzati". Descriptive of holiday cake wrecks; i.e. "I would never put something THAT begzati alongside my Christmas dinner." - December 4, 2008 at 8:41 PM
Haha, i really thought the first one was a volcano but then i saw the fireplace thingy on the side!
- December 4, 2008 at 8:44 PM
- Karen Kaye said...
Tears are streaming down my face over that gingerbread CCC. my 12 year old son came up to see what my deal was and he laughed just as hard.
It looks like it was made by someone with their dominant hand in a cast because it was mangled in a freak KitchenAid accident.
I've honestly never laughed so hard... "He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches"? Classic!
karen - December 4, 2008 at 8:57 PM
- Camille said...
Thank you for using the word Christmas!!!!
- December 4, 2008 at 9:39 PM
Santa's beady eyes are scaring the hell out of me...
- December 4, 2008 at 10:25 PM
"He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches."
I have to agree with the others: Best. Line. EVER.
I don't think using Christmas is living dangerously. I have never actually met anyone offended by the use of "Christmas," just people who are offended by "Holidays." - December 4, 2008 at 10:25 PM
Sorry if this is too graphic, but pretzel-antlered Rudolph's nose looks like a condom. Ewww.
I thought the top was another turkey cake at first. I'm still not convinced that it's not a recycled turkey cake. - December 4, 2008 at 10:28 PM
- Jenn said...
I have a freaky weird idea. Why not make a gingerbread man from... um..gingerbread?
Seriously these were hysterical! - December 4, 2008 at 10:32 PM
- harmzie said...
oh my freakin' gawd... usually check this in the morning - got a little late today.
I have to say (a) even with the description, I don't see a "fire place". I see an abombination. Of a farce. Of a crap-fest. That doesn't even look edible.
(b) The "reindeer" looks like Rudolph AND the Grinch AND a sack of crap got lodged in that teleportation machine from "The Fly" and ended up in a big-box cake department
(c) Gingy. Oh, poor Gingy. "Not the Gumdrop buttons!!!" Dear, sweet Gingy, the gumdrop buttons are the least of your worries!
(d) & (e) I don't even have time for this... just flick some crap at a cake & some poor schmuck will buy it.
[sigh] faith. in. humanity... fading... fading... - December 4, 2008 at 10:37 PM
- Deborah Godin said...
Top one: Yeah, my fireplace always burns Pepto pink and pantsuit yellow...
- December 4, 2008 at 10:56 PM
- Angie said...
He's made of sugar and spice and will mess your a$$ UP, beeyotches
Yeah, as soon as he finishes swallowing whatever that thing bulging from the bottom of his neck is.
Um....that is a neck right? - December 4, 2008 at 11:08 PM
But it is Christmas!!! And fyi, I wouldn't be offended if you talked about Hanukkah or Kwanzaa....Christmas is a NATIONAL holiday after all...
- December 4, 2008 at 11:35 PM
I, too, kept thinking the gingerbread man had a censored crotch!
Maybe the angry Santa is the evil Robot Santa from Futurama? - December 4, 2008 at 11:50 PM
- Jenn said...
The first one looks like a seriously messed up and burned pizza.
- December 5, 2008 at 12:36 AM
Jen and Mandee - I agree! The reindeer/dog CCC is most certainly a relative of Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo!
Love this blog, Jen! You always bring a bright spot to my days. - December 5, 2008 at 1:00 AM
- grimmjak said...
I'm sorry, but the first thought I had when I saw the "reindeer" was
"Isn't that nice, a 'Mr. Hankey' cake!"
Sad indeed. - December 5, 2008 at 1:11 AM
- jere7my said...
Hey, I know that Santa cake! It's from Brighton, MA. I pass that bakery several times a week, and mentioned angry Santa to the wife just last week.
Around Thanksgiving, they had a turkey-topped cake with a more severe version of the same problem: all that was left on top of the cake was a plastic top hat sitting on a brown stain. The rest of the frosting turkey had slid off and drizzled into a squelchy brown pile on the floor of the display. Ew.
Lesson: don't display your cakes on an angle. - December 5, 2008 at 1:24 AM
- Momof4 said...
My first thought when I saw the reindeer CCC was that it was a dog.
The Turdaphants seriously cracked me up. I needed a good laugh; had a long day. That's what keeps me coming back to Cake Wrecks. Keep up the good work! (You too, Bakeries.) - December 5, 2008 at 1:35 AM
- fuzzandfuzzlet said...
Can you believe I came just to see the fireplace again? It still cracks me up. Especially the label.
- December 5, 2008 at 2:02 AM
lol, magnifique !
http://www.innamoramento.net - December 5, 2008 at 4:48 AM
- Alison said...
wow, they are bad...
This is the first time that I've commented, but I just wanted to say thanks for a very amusing blog. Sometimes it really makes my day :)
Alison - December 5, 2008 at 5:45 AM
- echidna girl said...
These actually took my breath away with horror.
I so love your website!!!! - December 5, 2008 at 7:01 AM
- The Auditor said...
The black box on the ginger monster frightened me, while I was scrolling. My eye didn't register the gap between the horror itself and the censor block. "What thuh?! Oh...oh..."
- December 5, 2008 at 9:23 AM
- Unknown said...
I have to stop reading this when I haven't had enough sleep. I totally thought the elephant/reindeer things are adorable. Yeah, I know. But they are!
I need more sleep, clearly.
Also, when first scrolling through this I was on the phone at work so couldn't really read along. I had NO IDEA what that first cake was. I didn't notice the "fireplace" written in icing along the side. It looked something like a pile of autumn leaves to me. - December 5, 2008 at 9:57 AM
- Alexis said...
Good lord. It looks like Santa just unhinged his jaw!
- December 5, 2008 at 10:41 AM
- Ice Cream said...
Aaaa. The Turephants look like Trumpy from MST3K's Pod People.
BTW, thank for getting hooked to Dr. Who? Love it. - December 5, 2008 at 10:51 AM
- Kookaburra said...
No salt-monster sucking the life out of Bones ref, Jen? Tut, tut, tut, I might just start doubting your geek cred, Jen. ;-)
- December 5, 2008 at 11:03 AM
Note to cake "decorator" (I say that term loosely): If you have to write what the cake is on the board or cake itself (on the price label is okay, I suppose) you may want to look into other career options!
- December 5, 2008 at 11:26 AM
It's OK to say Merry Christmas! The holiday is a celebration of Christ's birth!
- December 5, 2008 at 12:11 PM
- Amanda said...
Can't...quit...laughing...at Snappy!!!! That's the most hilarious excuse for a gingerbread man EVER!
- December 5, 2008 at 1:46 PM
- Daddy said...
I just saw some icing goatse's. Uggh...
- December 5, 2008 at 3:44 PM
- Unknown said...
Looks like these bakeries need to be reminded of what reindeer and Santa look like.
Amy B - December 5, 2008 at 7:15 PM
- TornadoBaby said...
THANK YOU for saying Merry Christmas... people have lived with that phrase for who know how long, they can keep putting up with it, wimps!
Made my day! - December 5, 2008 at 7:34 PM
- Kristin said...
Long time reader, first time comment...
I just have to say, I've had an absolutely craptacular week and I can always count on reading your blog for a good laugh. This post particularly made me smile when I really needed to. And not even just a smile, but a laugh too.
I love it :) - December 5, 2008 at 8:53 PM
- Rock said...
I thought the notion that there's a War on Christmas was made up by nutters. I was wrong.
Judging by these cake wrecks, I now know that Christmas lost. Happy Festivus, I guess. - December 5, 2008 at 10:10 PM
- J said...
Turdaphants!!!! LOL!
- December 5, 2008 at 11:13 PM
Love your blog! Christmas is still a recognized holiday for 88% of Americans. So, who ya worried about offending? maggie
- December 6, 2008 at 12:04 AM
- Stephany Benbow said...
That CCC isn't a gingerbread man, it's a black face mime with a goiter. I'm sure.
- December 6, 2008 at 3:36 AM
- stonesoupjewelry said...
The CCC gingerbread man made my 4 year old cry.
- December 6, 2008 at 9:17 AM
- Annemarie said...
my son is four, and autistic and thought your large reindeer looked like they were crying
- December 6, 2008 at 5:02 PM
- Mrs. P said...
Oh boy! This is one of my favorite blogs ever, yet i never commented until today - I had to after seeing that steroid raging gingerbread man.
Thanks for the laugh....still laughing.... - December 6, 2008 at 7:13 PM
Goodness. I thought the Reindeer was Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo at first
- December 6, 2008 at 10:40 PM
- E.A.D. said...
Jen, these cakes are dealing specifically with Christmas. That in and of itself excludes you from any snarky comments. If you or a reader finds any Kwanzaa/Yule/Hanukkah/whatever wrecks, however, post them please! Every holiday has its wrecks and the all deserve to be laughed at! Long live equal-opportunity snarking!
- December 7, 2008 at 1:00 PM
Hubby saw the "fireplace" cake and thought it was an orgy! LMAO! What is with the flesh coloring in the fire?
- December 7, 2008 at 8:52 PM
So funny. I actually ran across a wreck today . . . I even took a picture, but my phone didn't save it! I was at the mall, and one of the giant cookie stands had a decorated "Santa" head (a heart cookie upside-down, so the point was the 'hat' and the curves were his 'beard,' nevermind that someone had chopped a big wedge out of the middle of it . . . ) Hopefully someone else will see it and submit it . . .
- December 8, 2008 at 2:59 AM
- kookykrys said...
Turdaphants!??! I've never seen anything on a cake that comes so close to a replica of something I'd find in my son's diaper. EWWWWWW!!!
- December 8, 2008 at 9:16 AM
I don't know if you you noticed but the reindeer has a stick on it that says pull apart cake and its apparently 24 cupcakes... Pull apart cake... how unattractive
- December 8, 2008 at 6:33 PM
There are so many elements wrong with this!
- December 9, 2008 at 10:38 AM
Jan - the first thing I thought of was Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo also!
- December 12, 2008 at 9:04 AM
- Michelle said...
My 2 year old son just saw a picture of Snappy the scary, um, gingerbread man and said, "what's that? Horse?"
Michelle - January 13, 2009 at 11:52 PM
Looks like the gingerbread man has some sort of palsy
- January 29, 2009 at 10:36 AM
Imagine the screaming 4-year old when the first cupcake is taken from the side of the head of the gingerbread man. He looks terrified already.
Judi - February 4, 2009 at 5:16 PM
That fireplace looks like a huge bed with a bunch of naked women in an orgy...... I'm serious
- February 21, 2009 at 11:46 PM
Turdaphants!!!!!!! I think I just wet my pants!
- March 8, 2009 at 12:19 AM
Okay, I will give the "fireplace" cake decorator as break: at least s/he KNEW it was crap and labeled it.
Also, the SNappy thing was HI.LArious. NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!! - April 6, 2009 at 10:08 PM
Has anyone ever in their life met anyone who was offended by the word "Christmas"?
thought not - April 26, 2009 at 11:19 PM
Dear John Heathing,
Every member of the ACLU, atheists and curmudgeons.
It's rare we get comments on posts this old.
Have a merry day!
john - April 27, 2009 at 12:16 AM
- Suzanne said...
I laughed so hard I thought I would vomit. Really.
- May 21, 2009 at 9:55 PM
- Suzy said...
I cried at the "Turdaphants" and had to send a link to my co-worker so she wouldn't think I'd lost my mind. OMG! "Snappy" is awesome, too!
- May 29, 2009 at 12:42 PM
- Unknown said...
These are adorable- I love your cakes!
Sara - October 7, 2009 at 1:28 PM
- Ricebubbles said...
Snappy, the stitched-together Yuletide monster seems to have had his arms and legs swapped around... all the better to be eaten with??
- October 8, 2009 at 9:21 AM
ARE YOU FOR REAL bakers have actually made and tried to sell those horrific things? I have never seen cakes so appetite-killing before!! (That gingerbread thing- aaaah!!) Love the site! Keep it up!
- October 14, 2009 at 5:18 PM
- Unknown said...
The turdaphants have colostomy mouths! Really, REALLY authentic looking, too.
- October 14, 2009 at 11:35 PM
I laughed so hard that my throat is sore and I drooled on my keyboard!
- October 15, 2009 at 6:45 AM
It looks like the Gingerbread Man had to be censored - the location of that black sticker appears to be hiding his personals, something I was not aware a gingerbread had or needed.
- October 15, 2009 at 12:55 PM
The Turdaphants look like Mr Potatoheads gone wrong...horribly wrong...
- October 20, 2009 at 5:40 PM
I just discovered your site and I am enjoying myself soooo much! I've been in my office laffing my @ss off and trying to contain it so my boss or employees don't feel the need to give me CPR! I love your sense of humor along with the pics of Cake Wrecks. And, Christmas is fine with me!
Sharon Stephens, Wichita KS. - October 29, 2009 at 12:08 PM
These are hilarious!! And this is why I don't make my own cakes. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time so thanks for that!
- December 23, 2009 at 11:38 AM
- 77'sWife said...
See...the top three pics(painfully obvious they are CCCs) just prove the point that you can't make chicken salad out of chicken sh*t, no matter HOW MUCH mayo you use.
Pleeease: let cupcakes be cupcakes, and stop creating these sugared abominations that haunt my dreams! - January 21, 2010 at 6:13 PM
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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
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text:
Wow, was this ever a throwback to my college days. Back in the days of macrame, yogurt makers, and prayer plants - otherwise known as The Seventies - homes, apartments, and dorm rooms everywhere could be seen with this sitting on their window sills:
It was ever so cool to grow your own avocado plant from a pit found inside one you'd gotten at the grocery store. I did it, my friends did it, and I'm betting some of you did it too. I honestly don't remember if I was successful at actually getting that thing to germinate or not, but I tried.
With the trade situation with Mexico kind of up in the air right now, there's been a lot of talk about what things are likely to go up in price if things change. Avocados and limes are mentioned, as is Corona beer and tequila. I can live without all of them, but each one enjoys popularity here in the U.S.
So, about this growing your own avocado thing . . . Even if I can manage to get this avocado pit to germinate, it's highly unlikely that I will be able to grow an avocado tree that produces any fruit.
First of all, I don't live where avocados would be happy. They're hardy in USDA Zones 8-11 and I'm in Zone 5b, though I do have a greenhouse and they also make excellent house plants. Secondly, even if I can keep it happy, it can take from 4-13 years for an avocado tree to bear fruit. Some trees never do yield anything.
When I cut open an avocado last week and saw that pit, it took me back (sing it with me now . . . "You fill up my senses, like a night in a forest,") and I kind of wanted to try it again. What did I have to lose?
If you want to try it too, it couldn't be easier. Just clean the avocado pit, let it dry, then poke toothpicks into it to suspend it over a jar of water, with the fat side down. Place it in a warm spot and keep the water level so that its bum is submerged. In about 2-6 weeks, you should see both a root and a stem sprouting. At that point, be sure it's in a well-lit location.
As it grows, once the stem reaches 6-8 inches, prune it in half to induce branching. Once it has started to branch, you can plant it in a container of well-draining potting soil. Be sure to leave the top part of the pit exposed, similar to how you plant an amaryllis bulb.
Don't overwater, but don't let it dry out completely. In the summer, you can put it outside, where it will likely grow faster, but make sure to bring it in once temperatures dip below 45°F.
Far out, man.


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Richard Ross: Girls in Justice
This winter, the Figge Art Museum will partner with Augustana College to present Girls in Justice and Juvenile in Justice, a nationally acclaimed project by photographer Richard Ross. Each year in the United States, as many as 150,000 minors as young as 10 are booked into confinement facilities for reasons ranging from truancy to violent crime. Many have histories of abuse, abandonment and addiction. Throughout the past eight years, Ross has traveled to juvenile detention facilities across the country, photographing these young prisoners and their surroundings, and recording their stories. The result is a heartbreaking account of young lives caught up in a system that is not always geared to act in their best interests.
From January 17 through March 15, the Figge will present Ross' most recent photographs in the project. Titled Girls in Justice, these 53 large-scale photographs focus on the stories of young women Ross has encountered in juvenile detention facilities. Each image is accompanied by the girl's personal story, in her own words. Ross will speak at 7 p.m. on Thursday, March 12, in the Figge's John Deere Auditorium. The next day, Friday, March 13, he will be present at the opening of Juvenile in Justice at the Augustana Teaching Museum of Art, which will continue through April 18. The exhibition features more than 50 earlier images and stories from the series.
Ross holds the title of Distinguished Professor of Art at the University of California, Santa Barbara. His work has been exhibited internationally, and monographs of his work have been published, including in Museology and The Architecture of Authority. Ross has published two books in conjunction with this project: Juvenile in Justice, with a foreword by Ira Glass, host of NPR's This American Life; and Girls in Justice, with a foreword by Marian Ross Edelman, founder of the Children's Defense Fund. Both books will be available in the Figge Museum Store.
This exhibition will be on display January 17, 2015 - March 15, 2015.
Companion Events
6 pm Thursday, January 29 - Film: What I Want My Words to Do to You
7 pm Thursday, February 19 - Any One of Us: Words from Prison
5:30 pm Thursday, March 12 - Closing Reception
7 pm Thursday, March 12 - Artist Talk
Augustana Exhibition Events
4 pm Friday, March 13 - Juvenile in Justice Opeing Reception
7 pm Tuesday, March 24 - Panel Discussion: Juvenile in Justice
Richard Ross, Houston Juvenile Detention Center, Houston, Texas, 1, 2012.
Funded through a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency.


text:
It's MORNING EDITION from NPR News. Good morning. I'm Steve Inskeep.
Let's try now to understand how an American soldier came to be accused of a mass killing in Afghanistan. He turned himself in after the shooting of more than a dozen men, women and children near his combat outpost in Kandahar Province. NPR Pentagon correspondent Tom Bowman joins us to talk about what's known and what this could mean for the U.S. war strategy in Afghanistan. Tom, what is the latest is the latest that military officials are telling you about what happened here?
TOM BOWMAN, BYLINE: Well, Steve, officials say an American soldier, a staff sergeant, walked out of his combat outpost in a rural area just outside Kandahar City a few hours before dawn, (technical difficulty) for a village or maybe a series of villages just several hundred yards away. And then he opened fire, killing anywhere from 13 to 16 men, women and children. Several more were wounded and taken to an American base for medical care. And then the sergeant returned to his outpost and simply turned himself in.
INSKEEP: One of the mysteries here is that some of the survivors are contending that they thought that there was more than one American, some even have said many Americans, according to Quil Lawrence, our correspondent in Afghanistan. Is the military clearing that up at all?
BOWMAN: You know, as far as they know there's just one solider at this time. They said they only have one in custody. They have no knowledge of more than one soldier. So that's all we have at this point.
INSKEEP: OK. So, why? Why would this one soldier go on a shooting spree?
BOWMAN: There's really know explanation yet, Steve, and no idea what motivated him. Officials say there were no combat operations in the area at the time. We're told this sergeant was on his first deployment to Afghanistan. He'd done multiple tours in Iraq. He's 38 years old, married with two kids. His unit's from Fort Lewis, Washington. And they were supporting Special Forces in the area - Green Berets who were creating local police forces.
INSKEEP: I'm sure it's quite early to speculate on the state of mind of this person, but you said something that sounds significant. You said, no combat operations in the area at the time, which would appear to leave out the possibility that this was some inadvertent killing of civilians during an operation against Taliban guerrillas or something. This is something else entirely.
BOWMAN: That's right. Of course, there are civilian casualties at times, so, and it usually happens when, you know, there's a mistake in target, let's say; an airstrike or, you know, civilians get caught in the crossfire. That's not what happened in this case. And intentionally killing civilians is very rare. We've seen some instances of crimes being committed over the years by U.S. forces in Afghanistan and Iraq that left like maybe a handful of civilians dead, but nothing of this magnitude.
INSKEEP: You know, when you think, Tom Bowman, of the way that the U.S. military approaches counterinsurgency, trying to win over the populace, realizing it's a political fight as well as a military fight, this has got to be about the worst possible thing that could happen and at a particularly bad time.
BOWMAN: Absolutely. You're right. You know, counterinsurgency is all about winning over the people and getting them to work with you and with their government. And something like this can really destroy the fiber of that relationship.
And what's really bad now for American soldiers is as they draw down in Afghanistan - they're going to cut another 22,000 troops this year - they'll be breaking down small training teams, going out there into these rural areas, 18 member teams, and working with larger Afghan units. And that's going to put American soldiers in greater peril as more and more of these incidents come to light.
This is the third incident, actually, by the way. There's an incident involving Marines urinating on dead insurgents. A video was circulating about that. And also the Quran burning that happened up at Bagram Air Base. So this clearly doesn't help matters.
INSKEEP: Yeah. And our correspondent Quil Lawrence said that President Hamid Karzai was just trying to get past the latest episode when this one occurred.
Tom, thanks very much.
BOWMAN: You're welcome, Steve.
INSKEEP: That's NPR's Tom Bowman. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


text:
A very big thank you to Simone and Regina from Prestel for offering me this amazing opportunity. It's weird to think but this book is something i'll have forever and one day can show my children. Woah, that sounds weird... but it's true. So thank you.
I shot these photos a few weeks ago when my copy arrived safely in my letterbox and it was extremely difficult to photograph my pages clearly! I struggled to scan the pages in because the book was so thick and i didn't want to ruin the spine but at least you get the idea anyway :)