text:
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Dirty-Minded Decorators
Thursday, October 23, 2008
[squinting] Although, those balloons look a little odd, don't they? Let's take a closer look...
[eyes bulging] Great Scott! Hide the children!!
And I KNOW you see what I see, people, so don't even try to accuse me of having my mind in the gutter. It's the Fireman cake all over again.
Eric N., thank goodness this was for a safely oblivious 2-year-old. Still, given how obvious those balloons are, I'm pretty sure I'd steer clear of this bakery in the future. Unless it was for a bachelorette party, of course.
117 comments | Post a Comment
- The Courteous Chihuahua said...
Gosh, I don't remember much from my high school French, but I think that translates to "Happy Colorful Penis, Sarah-Maude."
- October 23, 2008 at 9:15 AM
- Helen said...
I think it's the yellow one is the worst offender: the helmet is clearly defined!! Goodness gracious me!!
- October 23, 2008 at 9:17 AM
Umm, you forgot to mention the squiggly, little swimmers...
BTW, love your blog - I check it everyday! - October 23, 2008 at 9:18 AM
- HorribleLicensePlates said...
Oh my. I get the red "balloon"!! Ha-ha!
- October 23, 2008 at 9:19 AM
- Zitny Clan said...
Ewwww! The kids may have been oblivious, but as an adult, how can you eat that? Or worse yet, feed it to the children? Wrong. It's just sick and wrong!
- October 23, 2008 at 9:24 AM
- NanU said...
OH, my.
Is there any follow-up on cakes like this? I'd really like to know what the decorator had to say for him/herself! - October 23, 2008 at 9:25 AM
- Rebecca said...
It doesn't mean you mind isn't in the gutter....it just means we're right there with you!
- October 23, 2008 at 9:31 AM
Do I detect a PORN-STAR RIDGE? Those wacky French...
- October 23, 2008 at 9:32 AM
- Eternal Lizdom said...
Holy cow!! Put me in the dirty minded category becuase I immediately saw man parts as soon as I looked at the cake. Egads!
- October 23, 2008 at 9:32 AM
At first I thought that those balloons looked like chicken legs. Ummm, fried chicken legs on cake, interesting combination.
Then I saw what you saw!!! YIKES!! - October 23, 2008 at 9:32 AM
- Nosnin said...
What kind of balloons look like that?!?
Why they're unnatural. - October 23, 2008 at 9:33 AM
- n i l e e y said...
When I looked at the close up shot, I wonder what was in their minds when they drew the 'balloons'...hilarious nevertheless!
- October 23, 2008 at 9:33 AM
- Cannon Family said...
Aacckk!!! Those black squiggles coming out as "string" don't help any either!! Yipes!
- October 23, 2008 at 9:35 AM
What possessed the decorator to put the little extra "blobs" at the bottom of those balloons anyway!?! Balloons should be so easy, so long as they are round. Anything slightly oblong, with a long, squiggly string looks too much like male produced dna carriers to me. I know you all know what I'm talking about here too! ;-)
- October 23, 2008 at 9:38 AM
- Heide said...
Well, directly translated "Bonne Fete" means good festival. Maybe this isn't a toddler's birthday cake, but the second year of Sarah's joining a brothel.
- October 23, 2008 at 9:43 AM
not sure should I laugh or cry?
for deffo my no1 so far. - October 23, 2008 at 9:45 AM
Maybe the were celebrating the second year of her adult movie career?
What's wrong with a round balloon? Why couldn't they stick with a circle?? - October 23, 2008 at 9:46 AM
*pulls out her psychiatrist's couch* So...tell me about your mother, Mr. Cake Decorator. Any affinity toward cigars perhaps?
Apart from the fact that those balloons do NOT look like balloons, if you full view that second picture look at the consistency of the icing. It's LUMPY. Somehow the texture makes me recall the horrible STD video they showed us in high school. - October 23, 2008 at 9:49 AM
- Boozy Tooth said...
Hey wait a minute.... This multi-colored condom cake is for a two year old? Boy, those Latins get the party started waaaay early, don't they? Just joshin, y'all. Who wouldn't want phallic symbols plastering their two year olds cake. I mean, really... it's the only way to go.
- October 23, 2008 at 9:49 AM
- JJ said...
wow...they are like so PRECISE...what was the decorating thinking.?!?!
- October 23, 2008 at 9:53 AM
- Holly said...
Oh...wow. That's just...wow.
- October 23, 2008 at 9:55 AM
Yeah... Ummmm....
Sarah, honey, would you like a piece with a blue "balloon" or an orange "balloon"? - October 23, 2008 at 9:58 AM
- Pink Sith said...
Thankfully I can't be offended because I don't read French! Je suis d'accord chercher les ballons très phallique.
- October 23, 2008 at 10:03 AM
- Wade's World said...
There are just no words for that disaster...
- October 23, 2008 at 10:06 AM
- Poetry Sue said...
I love the phallic balloons!
- October 23, 2008 at 10:06 AM
- nycbride said...
Um, it's French, people! It comes with the territory!
- October 23, 2008 at 10:12 AM
- Alison said...
Hmmm...well, they are celebrating the birth of a child. And really, from a natural, scientific point of view, balloons are a lot less relevant to that occasion. More relevant to a cake, perhaps...
- October 23, 2008 at 10:14 AM
I so want that cake!!!! I know call me nasty, but it would be so worth it to bust that out in front of my family and the in-laws to see their reaction ROFL!!!!!!!
- October 23, 2008 at 10:15 AM
- MakingChanges said...
WOW! That's all I can say. Yes, I will admit to seeing EXACTLY what you saw.
- October 23, 2008 at 10:16 AM
- skatej said...
*sheepish* I have to admit...I didn't get the problem with the fireman cake until I read the comments. But this one I understood...go figure.
- October 23, 2008 at 10:21 AM
- Henry's Mom said...
Oh my gosh.... I was laughing out loud at my desk.... WOW!!!
- October 23, 2008 at 10:28 AM
- Hyena Overlord said...
tre bonne eh? a cake with icing man parts and anus spelled wrong. Definitely for Sarahs second year in Porno Valley or on Webdreams.
even funnier...the word verification for my post is coadom....like condom only misspelled...sheesh, my eyes are going, that's for sure. - October 23, 2008 at 10:31 AM
I think I'd have asked the baker, "why are there penises on my kid's cake?!"
Balloons my left hind foot! Gag.
~Amy B. - October 23, 2008 at 10:43 AM
- Gallifrey said...
Great, another classic blunder!!
- October 23, 2008 at 10:44 AM
- Unknown said...
Hahaha! I submited the pictures and I'm glad that they got posted.
I forgot to mention that with all the colored frosting used on this cake, everybody that ated it also had a bonus surprise the day after. Colorful "poo" in the toilet.
And FYI, we are not frenchs from France but French-Canadians from the province of Quebec. - October 23, 2008 at 10:46 AM
MY 2-year-old announced, "Look, Mama! Violet violins on that cake! So many violins!"
- October 23, 2008 at 10:48 AM
There's nothing wrong with the French on the cake.
Decorated cakes at infant parties are solely for the benefit of the adults attending, as the kids are barely aware of anything but that someone's making a fuss over them. So, put all the naughty stuff you want on it! I'm not sure where to draw the line, though, some precocious kids would pick up on it much faster than others (for instance, *I* thought, "what ugly balloons"--and would never have guessed "dangly bits" if Jen hadn't showed the cake from another angle ^^;;). - October 23, 2008 at 10:51 AM
- Becky said...
Yeah, definitely for a bachelorette party, not a 2-year-old's birthday!
- October 23, 2008 at 10:52 AM
- Momma J said...
Is that you know what squirting out?!?
http://crochetbymommaj.blogspot.com/ - October 23, 2008 at 10:59 AM
Tres mal!!!
Alex - October 23, 2008 at 11:00 AM
- David and Taryn said...
I don't know if anyone else noticed, but I thought your bold text on the word BALLoon was a nice touch!!!
And the squiggly swimmers that are "supposedly" balloon strings are just sick and wrong! - October 23, 2008 at 11:04 AM
ok so call me super defensive or something .. i do see it with the upside down blown up shot .. but i have to say my first thought was WOW they did a horrible job making hot air balloons .. the baskets are the same color as the balloons. Then the blown up shot came (no pun intended) and now thats ALL i can see.
- October 23, 2008 at 11:06 AM
- LaurenH said...
Actually I'm kind of fond of the penis-balloons on a two-year-old's cake. Might as well face the facts early, "If it weren't for one of these, you wouldn't be here kid!"
- October 23, 2008 at 11:10 AM
Sacre Dieu!!!!!
- October 23, 2008 at 11:11 AM
- Persnickety Ticker said...
Took me a minute to figure out which end was...um...up? While I get the phallic thing...they just don't even look like a good representation of either balloons or eh-hem. Frankly it's just sad.
- October 23, 2008 at 11:14 AM
- Schmei said...
People, do none of you have mothers-in-law who want grandbabies? This is no cake wreck - it was ordered to be just like this so the toddler's mother would understand it's time to get to work on baby #2.
I bet it's the last time they ask grandma to bring the birthday cake... - October 23, 2008 at 11:14 AM
- Lisa said...
I will try not to take all those Frenchist comments personally...
Have to say it's an horrible cake, no matter if the text is French or English.
The thing that made me laugh is visualizing this poor Cake-Maker: I usually do more damage trying to fix things and I suppose it's the same thing for her/him:
"Well, now I have to draw those balloons... Woopsie, this one is not quite round! Well, it could be not-round balloons... I will fix the other ones so it'll look the same... Woopsie, I put to much icing on the bottom of this one... It's OK - I'll just add some lumps at the bottom of the other ones...
OMG, it looks like balloon-penises !
Wait, wait wait... I should add little strings so it look more Birthday-ish...
Damn! It just look like some on those balloons were to excited by this cake!
Oh, well. I hope the customer will pay for it anyways. - October 23, 2008 at 11:16 AM
- ~Bethany~ said...
Nothing like a colorful group of "twig & berries" on a birthday cake. I especially like the orange ones who seems to have balls the size of oranges.
Love your blog. - October 23, 2008 at 11:22 AM
hahaha..! I would not have been able to stop giggling if I was at that party.
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase.."eat me"..wow. - October 23, 2008 at 11:24 AM
- CaliGirl9 said...
I thought they were malformed sperm (HUGE heads, small tails) celebrating the mystery of life ... the two-year young life of Sarah-Maude.
My German-born mom's penmanship is just like what's on this cake. We gotta give the baker props for NO QUOTATION MARKS!! - October 23, 2008 at 11:33 AM
- Angie said...
Oh My, well I'm just speachless.
It does make you wonder about the decorator though.
If it was my daughters cake, I think I would have to stand at the counter and ask a bit to loudly "WHY ARE THERE PENISIS ON MY 2 YEAR OLDS CAKE?" Ya know cuz obviously I'd be wondering. - October 23, 2008 at 11:43 AM
- Unknown said...
who thought that was okay?!?!? I mean, someone else HAD to have seen this. You'd think a fellow decorator or the checkout girl at the bakery or a manager or for the love of god SOMEONE would have spotted this and said something along the lines of "Dude, your friggin balloons look like penises. What's the deal?"
I mean, that's what I would have said. - October 23, 2008 at 11:53 AM
- Manders said...
*Hides her eyes*
Mes yeux!! Mes yeux!! - October 23, 2008 at 11:59 AM
Um, not to be too graphic here but French willies(which usually have all original *ahem* accoutrements) would not look like this. So it's somewhat understandable that what we see as the distinctive anatomical detail would go unnoticed.
- October 23, 2008 at 12:01 PM
- harmzie said...
looking for a moment beyond how grossly inappropriate this cake is (with all due respect to the defenders herein), I am actually quite impressed at the accuracy of the... um... representation (assuming circumcision, of course).
Should I ever be in charge of a bachelorette cake again, I'll take this photo and say "you CAN do it! It doesn't have to look like a big pink baseball bat" - October 23, 2008 at 12:07 PM
- Unknown said...
As if the name "Sarah-Maude," isn't bad, incongruous, and Bea-Arthur-ish enough...she has to put up with a penis cake for her 2nd birthday. If this is the cake, then I can only shudder in horror as I imagine the gifts that little Sarah-Maude got to open that day.
- October 23, 2008 at 12:07 PM
I'd have to say that it's probably more of a canadian wreck than a french wreck. We don't do this kind of decorated cakes, I've never seen anything like this in any kind of french bakery. That's definitly north american, so either it was for a french family in the US or from canada.
Bu yeah, OHMYGOD, adults must have been giggling when seing that, kids just don't care. - October 23, 2008 at 12:22 PM
- koalabear said...
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! that was great
im so getting something like that for my kid's birthday cake
that is, once i have kids :)
then i can tease them when they get older and show them what they ate as a child *evil grin* - October 23, 2008 at 12:45 PM
Well !!! it's a french canadian cake!!!! I need to know where exactly this cake come from since I live in montreal and my daughter will be 2 y/o in less than 2 weeks!!!!
- October 23, 2008 at 12:53 PM
- MaryO said...
I was howling at the comment, then almost had an accident after reading The Courteous Chihuahua's observation.
Hilarious. :-) - October 23, 2008 at 12:55 PM
- Liz said...
Comment dit-on "scarred for life" en francais?!?!?!
Pauvre Sarah-Maude! - October 23, 2008 at 12:56 PM
WOW. Just... wow.
- October 23, 2008 at 1:09 PM
- Shannon said...
lord this is horrible! thanks for the laugh
- October 23, 2008 at 1:12 PM
- Juliet said...
That cake is stunning. They did know it was for a little girl, right?
Those BALLoons can't have been an accident! - October 23, 2008 at 1:19 PM
- Liz said...
Oh, and minor detail compared with the "balloons", but "fete" is spelled with an accent circonflexe (fête), not aigu (féte), which is what that blob over the first "e" in "fete" looks like to me...unless maybe it's spelled that way in Canada? Any input, Eric?
- October 23, 2008 at 1:25 PM
- Emily said...
It is in French, you know how open minded they are over there. Just getting started early is all. :)
- October 23, 2008 at 1:32 PM
- JennyF said...
I was on the phone when I scrolled down to the second photo and had to put my phone on mute while I laughed raucously. Hilarious!!
- October 23, 2008 at 1:36 PM
I don't think there's any way those were *meant* to be balloons. I love it. I think it's hilarious!
- October 23, 2008 at 2:09 PM
- Bri said...
Zut alors!
I see penises too...pauvre fille!
I like Sarah-Maude's name though! - October 23, 2008 at 2:13 PM
- Hi Kooky said...
I have no words.
- October 23, 2008 at 2:32 PM
- Pam the Yarn Goddess said...
Hahaha... what's even funnier is that the decorator obviously doesn't have a grasp of anatomy or, worse yet, hasn't seen, touched, or played with a ... uh ... BALLoon in a very long time. Did you notice that some of them look like they contain only one BALL? Some of the others must belong to very old men - they're crooked and hang funny. They even look wrinkly. I also agree with one of the other commenters - there are no little swimmers to complete the picture. Thanks for brightening up my day LOL.
- October 23, 2008 at 2:34 PM
OMG, that was hilarious! I literally gasped when I saw the second photo.
- October 23, 2008 at 2:34 PM
- Rachael M. said...
Bon-fete, indeed!
- October 23, 2008 at 2:54 PM
- Dea said...
Wow, that decorator must be the disgruntled Disney animator who made the naughty x-rated towers on the Little Mermaid movie covers when fired!!!
- October 23, 2008 at 2:54 PM
This is hysterical on one level...totally wrong on other levels...love your blog!
- October 23, 2008 at 2:56 PM
Those poor circumcised balloons ;)
- October 23, 2008 at 4:41 PM
- dee said...
Your blog is hysterical! I posted about the Walmart cake ("Under Neat that") last week after my friend Zach sent it to me and SO many people commented about it! A few people told me they'd seen it on your site and that I should check it out...now I can see why! OMG. Penis balloons on a two-year-old's cake?! I can't even...
Love this! - October 23, 2008 at 4:43 PM
Are cake decorators generally this passive-aggressive?
Bri2k - October 23, 2008 at 4:50 PM
- Unknown said...
Yes, the worst part of this is definitely the squirtys coming out!
- October 23, 2008 at 5:16 PM
What? Those are just how French balloons look.
- October 23, 2008 at 5:19 PM
- Keemster said...
Ils sont pénis! Oui?!
Yucco! - October 23, 2008 at 5:35 PM
This kind of thing makes me wonder if it was completely accidental (God, please!) or if the cake decorator was intentionally making the balloons look like that because they knew they could hide under the defense of "What?! They're balloons!"
- October 23, 2008 at 6:11 PM
Oh, the upside-down view is sooo deceptive. Those are pretty li-, er, lame decorations.
- October 23, 2008 at 6:19 PM
I wish this had been posted prior to my bachelorette party. My MOH went the far more direct route and made a penis cake with toasted coconut in the appropriate area. Which was a lot of fun in a bar, but it would've been fun to see how many drunk people would've realized what these were.
She'd've had to use white "strings", though - the model for this cake should see a doctor. - October 23, 2008 at 6:49 PM
- Mechelle said...
I see it too. At first they looked like tacs to me, then came the second view, *oh! what the!* Well it's a tac-ky cake none-the-less.
- October 23, 2008 at 6:55 PM
- D.B. Echo said...
Well, at least we know Patrick Stewart didn't create the cake. Otherwise it would just be an image of a woman going to the bathroom!
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93lsexycakes.phtml - October 23, 2008 at 6:58 PM
Wowzers. Sometimes you just never know if these wrecks are the work of a disgruntled employee.
The fireman cake story was hilarious...and a little sad. I could just picture that earnest decorator making that cake. - October 23, 2008 at 8:13 PM
- FreedomFirst said...
Oh. My. Goodness. !!! What was this decorator thinking??!! No, wait - I don't want to know.
- October 23, 2008 at 8:15 PM
- Rachel said...
First time poster here! Like she said, at least kids are totally oblivious to these things! Hopefully the parents were able to have a bit of a laugh over it!
- October 23, 2008 at 8:35 PM
- ksaldria said...
I think it's obvious what line of work this decorator was in before they went into baking. Who the hell makes frosting balloons that way? Seriously? On the other hand, I know a whole bunch of people who would have so much fun consuming this wreck.
- October 23, 2008 at 9:38 PM
- Nauntie Lush said...
Oh Dear! I knew that those were um, those wieners you were talking about when I saw the cake right side up!
Thank goodness 2 year olds don't know what wieners are for! - October 23, 2008 at 10:06 PM
Oh, Lord! I've read this blog for awhile now, and tonight I have to say I've laughed until i've cried!Hilarious. Especially the comments.
- October 23, 2008 at 10:26 PM
- Unknown said...
"Happy birthday, darling. Now that you're two, let's have a talk about the birds and the bees."
- October 23, 2008 at 10:36 PM
- Joy said...
I want a piece with a blue "balloon" on it!!!
- October 24, 2008 at 12:22 AM
- Mad Izatie said...
hm... hillarious. and so WRONG on so many levels. XD
- October 24, 2008 at 12:36 AM
- Fleeting said...
Oh dear god. Those crazy Quebecois and their liberal sex practices!
Why did the decorator not say to themselves... hey, you know what, maybe I ought to just start over. Nobody is going to want to eat giant mounts of way-too-brightly-coloured icing in the shape of very happy penises.
My theory is that they accidentally mixed up the order with one for a bachelorette party being picked up on the same day... and flipped the cake and added the strings to cover up the flub! - October 24, 2008 at 1:22 AM
I thought the things at the bottoms of the balloons were supposed to represent the knots tied in the balloons to keep the air in. Sadly, this overattention to detail has really led to some pretty phallic balloons.
Penis Power! E=D - October 24, 2008 at 1:24 AM
- Eric said...
Your mind may not be in the gutter, but when you turned the cake upside down those black "strings" take on a whole new meaning...ewww gross!
www.goinggreenaccdently.blogspot.com - October 24, 2008 at 2:28 AM
- K R said...
oh my dear god...thats genius. pure genius.
- October 24, 2008 at 3:10 AM
- ~E said...
bon fete indeedy!!!
Im still kinda hoping they forgot the second number in the age...like 21 ans...or 29 ans...
and the french makes it so much dirtier!
or is that just me? - October 24, 2008 at 4:02 AM
- Wendyburd1 said...
Gross, poor kid!
- October 24, 2008 at 6:42 AM
- HellboundAlleee said...
That's probably a Quebec cake.
And those are CIRCUMCIZED penises.
Now, if the cake was, say, from the west side of Montreal, I would agree, that those are penises.
But if the cake is from anywhere else in Quebec, you'd have to say, no, no, they don't look like penises at all.
Innocent, I say. Innocent. - October 24, 2008 at 6:43 AM
My b'day is in January, where can I get one of those cakes? - October 24, 2008 at 7:49 AM
- Miranda said...
WHAT were they thinking? for an adult, this could be a funny gag, but for a little child? That ain't right, not at all. Not even *I* would do that.
- October 24, 2008 at 8:47 AM
- Unknown said...
Here are some additional informations.
When I saw this cake http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/06/what-another-obscure-bank-holiday.html I remembered that we had a similar cake made for our little girl 2nd birthday. It was made at the bakery of a local COSTCO (Trois-Rivieres,Qc).
We were in a hurry because both our families were attending the party with a lot (15+) of kids between 1 & 8 years old. We picked the cake and rushed to the party location so we didn't notice it until we served the cake.
What my daughter saw from her side was this (see first picture). A cake with colorful balloons.
Everybody on the other side saw this (see second picture). A cake with colorfull "male organs" (I know you like quotation marks).
It was so unmistakable that everybody in age to understand what they saw was shooting embarassed looks around to see if anyone else noticed. (Everybody did except for the kids, fortunately).
We had a good laugh about it. We still wonder what the bakery employee had in mind at the time.
I could have showed the pictures to the store manager but the cake was no more.
Thanks for all your comments. - October 24, 2008 at 8:50 AM
that's hysterical! I'm laughing at my desk over here!
- October 24, 2008 at 10:55 AM
- Kattastic said...
I just snorted coffee out of my nose!
- October 24, 2008 at 11:13 AM
- diddlesgirl said...
hm, has the cake decorator ever seen a balloon?
oh, i need this cake to take to my childs next party. just to see the look on my inlaws faces as they try NOT to notice what is on the cake. i would have to give them very specific slices . . i am enjoying this dream a bit too much!
did no child at the party ask why there were particular body parts on the cake?
ok, they are doing this on purpose! someone else said their word verification was close to condom - mine is forne! - October 24, 2008 at 1:39 PM
As one of those damn French, I wonder about the "bonne fête" writing. In French-from-France, "bonne fête" means primarily "happy name day". Obviously, Sarah doesn't have the same name day as Maude (respectively Oct 9 - March 14). "Happy birthday" would translate as "bon anniversaire", *not* "bonne fête". Perhaps they just meant "happy celebration" (it can mean that too), but you wouldn't say that in the context of greetings. You would hardly write "happy celebration" on a cake, you would be more specific. So... are you sure about the provenance of the cake?
(but don't think I'm denying that the French can produce authentic cake wrecks too... yesterday again, I saw this horrendous... thing... in a cake shop window, I regretted so much I didn't have a camera with me. Shudder.) - October 24, 2008 at 5:19 PM
Oh. I reacted too quicky to the "damn/wacky/"open-minded" French" various comments and missed Eric's post explaining that it was a French Canadian cake. This answers my previous interrogation about the language.
- October 24, 2008 at 5:43 PM
- Jen said...
ROFL! - October 24, 2008 at 8:14 PM
You know, with the "balloon" string right above the "F" in "Fete," it looks more like "Bonne Tete" which would say "Good Head."
Hmmmm... - October 24, 2008 at 10:08 PM
Yep, you are right! I see them too and have tears running down my eyes from laughter. The cake decorator must have been getting back at the boss that day. That'll teach em! Love your site!
- October 25, 2008 at 11:49 AM
- The Girl in the Mirror said...
the "strings" make me especially uncomfortable now, seeing as they are black. what have they been eating?? i think its time to see a doctor.
- October 25, 2008 at 7:01 PM
- Unknown said...
And the word verification I have here is "penon"!
- October 26, 2008 at 4:04 PM
Thank you for the consistent laughs :-)
- October 26, 2008 at 7:30 PM
- Cupcakes Lady said...
LOl Brilliant. Wrong on so many levels, without doubt. ;) xx
- October 7, 2010 at 6:37 PM
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NEW YORK, June 14, 2013 /PRNewswire/ -- Sirius XM Radio (NASDAQ: SIRI) announced today that Frank Sinatra's daughter, Tina Sinatra, will host a special roundtable conversation with the daughters of famous musical fathers on Father's Day on Siriusly Sinatra, the SiriusXM channel dedicated to the music and spirit of Frank Sinatra.
(Logo: http://photos.prnewswire.com/prnh/20101014/NY82093LOGO)
Tina Sinatra's Father's Day special will air on Sunday, June 16 at 11:00 am and 8:00 pm ET on Siriusly Sinatra, via satellite on channel 71, and through the SiriusXM Internet Radio App on smartphones and other connected devices, as well as online at siriusxm.com.
Tina Sinatra will welcome special guests Natalie Cole, Monica Mancini, Daisy Torme and Deana Martin to share stories and reminisce about each of their fathers. Listeners will also hear music by the five celebrated artists: Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Henry Mancini, Mel Torme and Dean Martin, personally selected by their daughters. The conversation emanates from the legendary Capitol Studio A in Hollywood, where each of the Dads recorded during their storied careers.
Siriusly Sinatra plays music from Frank Sinatra and the greatest singers of all time including Tony Bennett, Ella Fitzgerald, Peggy Lee, Dean Martin, Nat King Cole, Michael Buble, Rosemary Clooney, Bobby Darin, and Sammy Davis Jr.
For more information on SiriusXM, please visit www.siriusxm.com.
About Sirius XM Radio
Sirius XM Radio Inc. is the world's largest radio broadcaster measured by revenue and has 24.4 million subscribers. SiriusXM creates and broadcasts commercial-free music; premier sports talk and live events; comedy; news; exclusive talk and entertainment; and the most comprehensive Latin music, sports and talk programming in radio. SiriusXM is available in vehicles from every major car company in the U.S., from retailers nationwide, and online at siriusxm.com. SiriusXM programming is also available through the SiriusXM Internet Radio App for Android, Apple, and BlackBerry smartphones and other connected devices. SiriusXM also holds a minority interest in SiriusXM Canada which has more than 2 million subscribers.
On social media, join the SiriusXM community on Facebook, facebook.com/siriusxm, Twitter, twitter.com/siriusxm, Instagram, instagram.com/siriusxm, and YouTube at youtube.com/siriusxm.
This communication contains "forward-looking statements" within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995. Such statements include, but are not limited to, statements about future financial and operating results, our plans, objectives, expectations and intentions with respect to future operations, products and services; and other statements identified by words such as "will likely result," "are expected to," "will continue," "is anticipated," "estimated," "believe," "intend," "plan," "projection," "outlook" or words of similar meaning. Such forward-looking statements are based upon the current beliefs and expectations of our management and are inherently subject to significant business, economic and competitive uncertainties and contingencies, many of which are difficult to predict and generally beyond our control. Actual results may differ materially from the results anticipated in these forward-looking statements.
The following factors, among others, could cause actual results to differ materially from the anticipated results or other expectations expressed in the forward-looking statements: our competitive position versus other forms of radio and audio services; our dependence upon automakers; general economic conditions; failure of our satellites, which, in most cases, are not insured; our ability to attract and retain subscribers at a profitable level; royalties we pay for music rights; the unfavorable outcome of pending or future litigation; rapid technological and industry change; failure of third parties to perform; changes in consumer protection laws and their enforcement; and our substantial indebtedness. Additional factors that could cause our results to differ materially from those described in the forward-looking statements can be found in our Annual Report on Form 10-K for the year ended December 31, 2012, which is filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission (the "SEC") and available at the SEC's Internet site (http://www.sec.gov). The information set forth herein speaks only as of the date hereof, and we disclaim any intention or obligation to update any forward looking statements as a result of developments occurring after the date of this communication.
Contact for SiriusXM:
Samantha Bowman
212 901 6644
[email protected]
SOURCE Sirius XM Radio

subset: commoncrawl


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Chris Brown Returns To Court For Probation Issues
A motion filed Tuesday raises for the first time in Brown's felony assault case several incidents that prosecutors say demonstrate Brown has ongoing anger management issues.
They cited a Jan. 27 fight between Brown and fellow R&B star Frank Ocean, and a 2011 outburst in which Brown threw a chair through a window after he was asked about the Rihanna attack on "Good Morning America."
The filing represents a dramatic shift in the case against Brown, who was repeatedly praised by the judge overseeing his case for his completion of domestic violence courses and his community service work in his home state of Virginia. That changed in September, when prosecutors raised concerns about Brown's community service after he logged 701 hours in seven months – an amount that had previously taken him more than two years to achieve.
Los Angeles investigators traveled to Richmond, Va., to investigate Brown's service, which was only described in broad strokes by Richmond Police Chief Bryan Norwood, who was overseeing the singer's community labor.
"This inquiry provided no credible, competent or verifiable evidence that defendant Brown performed his community labor as presented to this court," Deputy District Attorney Mary Murray wrote.
Brown's attorney Mark Geragos blasted the court filing, saying the prosecutor ignored interviews "where sworn peace officers stated unequivocally that Mr. Brown was supervised and did all of the community service."
"I plan on asking for sanctions from the DA's office for filing in frivolous, scurrilous and frankly defamatory motion," he said Tuesday.
It will be up to a new judge to evaluate the prosecutor's allegations during Wednesday's hearing; Brown's case has been transferred to Judge James Brandlin after a recent shuffling of judicial assignments.
After pleading guilty to the Rihanna attack, Brown was given permission to serve 180 days of community labor in his home state of Virginia, but only as long as he performed manual labor such as graffiti removal and roadside cleanup.
Given problems with documentation and statements from some witnesses who contradict Brown's claims of work, prosecutors asked Brandlin to order Brown to repeat his service in Los Angeles.
Brown spent one-third of the hours he logged in Virginia working night shifts at a day care center in rural Virginia where his mother once served as director and where the singer spent time as a child.
A detective who checked on Brown's work nine times at the Tappahannock Children's Center found the singer, his mother and a bodyguard at the center on each visit.
The records said Brown waxed floors or performed "general cleaning" at the center.
A professional floor cleaner contracted to work at the daycare center told investigators he had been cleaning the floors during the months Brown reported working at the facility.
"Claims that the defendant cleaned, stripped and waxed floors at that location have been credibly contradicted," prosecutors said in the filing.
Brown's mother, Joyce Hawkins, no longer had a formal role at day care center but had her own set of keys and coordinated her son's work at the facility, prosecutors said.
Murray stated in her filing that Norwood's report on Brown's service was "at best sloppy documentation and at worst fraudulent reporting."
Richmond police spokesman Gene Lepley declined to discuss the allegations.
"We believe it would inappropriate to comment on a matter that's before the court," Lepley said.
According to the motion, officials with Virginia's probation office told investigators that Brown's arrangement to be supervised by Norwood was "extremely unusual" and had not been approved by the agency. No one from Virginia's probation department oversaw Brown's hours, prosecutors said.
The motion noted that the only records the department has to indicate Brown was supervised were officers' overtime sheets. Five of 21 days that officers logged overtime for Brown were spent providing security for the singer's concerts.
The allegations are the latest pre-Grammy controversy for Brown, who was arrested shortly after the 2009 ceremony for his attack on Rihanna. He has since returned to the awards show by performing and winning an award in 2011 for his album F.A.M.E.
Brown and Ocean are competing against one other for the Best Urban Contemporary Album category at Sunday's Grammys.


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Puppies are without a doubt some of the most adorable things on the planet. Parenting a new puppy, however, is no walk in the park. Here's a guide to help you care for the new addition to the family.
When the time comes to finally bring your new puppy home for the first time, you can pretty much count on three things: unbridled joy, cleaning up your puppy's accidents, and a major lifestyle adjustment. As you'll soon learn, a growing puppy needs much more than a food bowl and a doghouse to thrive. And while it may be a lot of work initially, it's well worth the effort. Establishing good and healthy habits in those first few sleep-deprived weeks will lay the foundation for many dog-years of happiness for you and your puppy.
1. Find a Good Vet
The first place you and your new puppy should go together is, you guessed it, straight to the vet for a checkup. This visit will not only help ensure that your puppy is healthy and free of serious health issues, birth defects, etc., but it will help you take the first steps toward a good preventive health routine. If you don't have a vet already, ask friends for recommendations. If you got your dog from a shelter, ask their advice as they may have veterinarians they swear by. Local dog walkers and groomers are also a great source of ideas.
2. Make the Most of Your First Vet Visit
Ask your vet which puppy foods he or she recommends, how often to feed, and what portion size to give your pup.
- Set up a vaccination plan with your vet.
- Discuss safe options for controlling parasites, both external and internal.
- Learn which signs of illness to watch for during your puppy's first few months.
- Ask about when you should spay or neuter your dog.
3. Shop for Quality Food
Your puppy's body is growing in critical ways which is why you'll need to select a food that's formulated especially for puppies as opposed to adult dogs. Look for a statement from the Association of American Feed Control Officials (AAFCO) on the packaging to ensure that the food you choose will meet your pup's nutritional requirements.
Small and medium-sized breeds can make the leap to adult dog food between 9 and 12 months of age. Large breed dogs should stick with puppy kibbles until they reach 2-years-old. Make sure your puppy has fresh and abundant water available at all times.
Feed multiple times a day:
- Age 6-12 weeks – 4 meals per day
- Age 3-6 months – 3 meals per day
- Age 6-12 months – 2 meals per day
4. Establish a Bathroom Routine
Because puppies don't take kindly to wearing diapers, housetraining quickly becomes a high priority on most puppy owners' list of must-learn tricks. According to the experts, your most potent allies in the quest to housetrain your puppy are patience, planning, and plenty of positive reinforcement. In addition, it's probably not a bad idea to put a carpet-cleaning battle plan in place, because accidents will happen.
Until your puppy has had all of her vaccinations, you'll want to find a place outdoors that's inaccessible to other animals. This helps reduce the spread of viruses and disease. Make sure to give lots of positive reinforcement whenever your puppy manages to potty outside and, almost equally important, refrain from punishing her when she has accidents indoors.
Knowing when to take your puppy out is almost as important as giving her praise whenever she does eliminate outdoors. Here's a list of the most common times to take your puppy out to potty.
- When you wake up.
- Right before bedtime.
- Immediately after your puppy eats or drinks a lot of water.
- When your puppy wakes up from a nap.
- During and after physical activity.
5. Watch For Early Signs of Illness
For the first few months, puppies are more susceptible to sudden bouts of illnesses that can be serious if not caught in the early stages. If you observe any of the following symptoms in your puppy, it's time to contact the vet.
- Lack of appetite
- Poor weight gain
- Vomiting
- Swollen of a painful abdomen
- Lethargy (tiredness)
- Diarrhea
- Difficulty breathing
- Wheezing or coughing
- Pale gums
- Swollen, red eyes or eye discharge
- Nasal discharge
- Inability to pass urine or stool
6. Teach Obedience
By teaching your puppy good manners, you'll set your puppy up for a life of positive social interaction. In addition, obedience training will help forge a stronger bond between you and your puppy.
Teaching your pup to obey commands such as sit, stay, down, and come will not only impress your friends, but these commands will help keep your dog safe and under control in any potentially hazardous situations. Many puppy owners find that obedience classes are a great way to train both owner and dog. Classes typically begin accepting puppies at age 4 to 6 months.
Tip: Keep it positive. Positive reinforcement, such as small treats, has been proven to be vastly more effective than punishment.
7. Be Sociable
Just like obedience training, proper socialization during puppyhood helps avoid behavioral problems down the road. At approximately 2 to 4 months of age, most puppies begin to accept other animals, people, places, and experiences. Socialization classes are an excellent way to rack up positive social experiences with your puppy. Just be sure to ask your vet about what kind of interaction is OK at this stage.


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Brad Anderson ("Session 9," "The Machinist," "Transsiberian") is a capable genre craftsman with a good eye for shadowy atmosphere. In addition to directing features, Anderson has built a rock-solid side career as a prolific TV director. Even Anderson's lesser films — like "Vanishing on 7th Street," a sort of watered-down John Carpenter movie — have been surefooted. That, unfortunately, can't be said about his latest movie, "The Call," a sputtering, so-so B thriller with a neat hook but very little personality.
Halle Berry stars as an operator at a 911 call center in Los Angeles. Dressed in a poodle wig and polo shirt, Berry spends most of the movie seated behind a desk. Her world — "the Hive," as her co-workers call it — is compact and work-centric. Even her boyfriend, a handsome LAPD officer (Morris Chestnut), is a colleague. A framed photo glimpsed briefly in her apartment suggests that she comes from a police family.
"The Call" opens with a bird's eye view of the city and a montage of operators answering 911 calls — some frivolous, some serious. Then the movie — which, if nothing else, is briskly-paced — gets right to setting up the plot. Berry answers a home invasion call from a teenage girl and makes a minor but critical mistake which leads to the girl's kidnapping. The next day, her body is found in a shallow grave.
Berry's colleagues don't fault her for the misstep, but she nonetheless resigns from answering calls to focus on training new operators. Six months later, she's leading a group of trainees through their first tour of the Hive when a call comes in from a teenage girl (Abigail Breslin) who has been abducted and locked in the trunk of a car. The operator who answers doesn't know how to handle the call and veteran Berry reluctantly takes over.
Breslin explains that she's been nabbed from a mall parking lot by an unknown man, and that the trunk she's in contains a shovel — suggesting that her abductor intends to kill and bury her. Of course, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the man who has kidnapped Breslin is the same one who abducted and killed the teenage girl six months earlier.
Played by a twitchy, hammy Michael Eklund, he's a stock weirdo serial-killer type. He likes cheesy music (when Breslin wakes up in his trunk, he's blasting Taco's "Puttin' on the Ritz"). He's panicky and easily spooked. For a guy who has a whole underground bunker devoted to torturing blonde teenagers, he seems very poorly prepared.
At the center of "The Call"'s premise is the mobile phone Breslin is calling from. It's one of those cheap, pay-as-you-go disposables, which means that the call center can't trace it. Also, the car is in motion; neither Breslin nor Berry can pinpoint her location. Technical impossibility aside (disposable cellphones are traceable), it makes for a cool cat-and-mouse premise: Breslin and Berry must conspire to outwit the serial killer without knowing exactly where he is or where he's headed.
All it would take to pull off this conceit is a little filmmaking imagination and a firm grip on form. Unfortunately, "The Call" has neither. Much of the movie is bland-looking and flat. The endless shots circling Berry at her desk as she yells and cries into a headset grow monotonous. The premise may suggest claustrophobia — Berry stuck at her desk, Breslin stuck in the trunk — but "The Call" is too spatially wonky to be tense.
Thrillers don't make themselves; it's a genre where an absence of style is synonymous with an absence of entertainment. Anderson tries to spice things up with some flashy flourishes — freeze-frames, for example — but these do nothing except to suggest a filmmaker overcomplicating a simple problem. In many ways, "The Call" resembles Joel Schumacher's "Phone Booth" (2002) — another movie with a strong, simple premise ruined by execution (interestingly, Schumacher was originally slated to direct "The Call"). However, "Phone Booth" was at least campy enough to be fun. The best "The Call" can manage is Eklund's bug-eyed performance — a piece of acting that's less calculating psychopath and more freaked-out acid causality.
Oddly, as the screenplay — by Richard D'Ovidio, whose last credit was for the Steven Seagal/DMX vehicle "Exit Wounds" (2001) — gets dumber, the movie gets better, or at least more confident. The final act of "The Call" finds the movie betraying its premise by having Berry venture out of the Hive to find Eklund's hideout and rescue Breslin. At this point, "The Call" devolves into a grindhouse-style rape-revenge movie.
The conclusion is silly and morally questionable, even by exploitation movie standards. It does, however, allow Anderson to do what he's good at: orchestrating dark, claustrophobic horror. For its final fifteen or so minutes, "The Call" rises above hackwork. Unfortunately, it doesn't rise very far.
94 minutes
Abigail Breslin as Casey Welson
Morris Chestnut as Paul Phillips
Michael Imperioli as Alan Denado
Roma Maffia as Maddy
Michael Eklund as Michael Foster
Halle Berry as Jordan Turner
David Otunga as Jake Devans


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Cherry & Plum Crumbles With Goat Cheese Ice Cream
You have no idea how good it feels to finally take time in this crazy schedule to come here and write a little, share a recipe and possibly a good laugh or two. Although now that I am here I am drawing a super "ugh" kind of a blank. Yes, even that brilliant paragraph I wrote in my head this morning in the shower. Pouf! Gone. I am seriously thinking of designing a waterproof notepad or carrying a waterproof in there.
Oh yes…it just came back to me: Bill's birthday is next week, the 27th to be exact, and I do need your help. I can't decide what to make him for his birthday dessert this year and I thought I would ask you for some suggestions. In order to make this a bit more fun for everyone, I thought about pairing it with a little giveaway. So here it is folks:
– Tell me what is the most raved about dessert you have made (please provide link to recipe or as many details as you wish) in the comment section of this post. No need to have a blog, just the main idea of the recipe. (No anonymous without a name will be approved).
– On Monday night, I'll pick one I know my better half would love for his birthday, make it and post about it, (with full credits to you and the recipe of course).
– But that's not all, the person whose dessert was picked will be sent a copy of "Artisan Breads – At Home With The Culinary Institute of America" (I'll ship worldwide)
Hope ya'll can hit me with some major sweetness! And anything goes: the man likes everything, ahaha!
And I am ok with losing my mind over this… it's the season after all and I admit I absolutely love it. Well, apart from not being able to cook and post as much, answer emails on time, and piling up clean laundry instead of folding it. Why am I telling you this? It all relates to these Cherry And Plum Crumbles and how I need a mini "brain check" before bedtime lately.
I was all set to make cherry and plum sorbet the other day when I realized I may not have picked up enough of each at the farmers' market and I was about to head out the door for more, B. shouted from the garage that his mom was stopping by with extras from her market trip "she thought you might like more plums and cherries". What did I hear instead? The tiny influx of rush and stress of my own mental notes but not a word he said.
I started thinking I should pick some flowers for his mom as a thank you. That I'd better not lolligag while at the store, get my stuff and jet. My mind drifted and wondered if I'd have time to churn that batch of ice cream before bedtime. I thought about the vet, the delivery guy, the dentist every one in between! It felt crammed up inside my head. Have no fear, I am not driving while under the influence of the voices. The car seems to be a free zone.
I got home right on time to invite my mother in law inside for a very cold glass of lemonade and a few cookies. We unloaded our bags together and busted out laughing right away. I was staring at enough cherries and plums to feed the whole neighborhood. I've always considered this kind of happening a joyous opportunity to poach extra fruit and freeze them for when I crave cherries in January, plums in November, or ripe and juicy pears in June.
Poaching fruit in a concoction of lemon juice, water and spices is something I learned from my mom and grandmother very early on. It used to generates suspicious looks from my husband when we were newlyweds and he'd come home to find me elbow deep skinning and pitting a box of bruised peaches for poaching and freezing. Why not can you might ask? I make jams regularly so I am running out of room already in the pantry and I go through the frozen fruit faster than the jams.
I had enough fruit this time around to make cherry and plum sorbets, poach and freeze some and make Cherry Plum Crumbles with the rest. That's a lot. Even if it's summer and it is bloody hot outside, I still went ahead and made crumbles. I needed to plan comforting treats for the busy day ahead. The mix of crunchy bits of dough and soft fruit all warm out of the oven topped with a generous scoop of ice cream is my idea of the ultimate comfort.
I am too ticklish to get a massage. I am too claustrophobic to enjoy a facial. Not girly enough to go for mani-pedis. So crumbles it is. Curled up on the couch, passed midnight, the pups next to me. Preferably with a side of summer rain but without is alright too.
Cherry and Plum Crumbles With Goat Cheese Ice Cream:
Seres 4-6
For the fruits:
4 plums, pitted and chopped into small dices (about 1 cup)
1 cup fresh cherries, halved and pitted
1/4 cup honey
zest of one lemon
2 Tb lemon juice
2 Tb cornstarch
For the crumble:
1/2 cup light brown sugar (I used sucanat)
1/3 cup millet flour
1 teaspoon cardamom
6 tablespoons butter, cold
Prepare the fruits:
Preheat your oven to 350F.
In a large mixing bowl, combine the fruits with the honey, lemon zest and juice and cornstarch. Toss with your hands to coat the fruits evenly. Divide between 4 to 6 ramequins and place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper or foil as the fruits are most likely to release their juice, causing a spill. Set them aside while your prepare the topping.
Prepare the crumble:
In a medium bowl, toss together the sugar, millet flour and cardamom. Add the butter cut in small pieces and mix with your fingertips until you get a mixture that resembles coarse crumbs. Divide th topping evenly on top of the dishes. Bake for 20-30 minutes or until the topping is golden brown.
Goat Cheese Ice Cream:
3/4 cup sugar (170 gr)
2 egg yolks
2 cups milk (500 ml)
1/3 cup heavy cream (100 ml)
1/2 vanilla bean, seeded
4 oz goat cheese (120gr), at room temperature
In a large bowl whisk the sugar and egg yolks until pale. In a saucepan set on medium heat, bring the milk, cream and vanilla bean to a simmer, slowly pour a small amount on the egg yolks to temper. Pour the remaining over the yolks and sugar. Stir well then pour back in the saucepan and cook over medium low heat until the cream thickens and coats the back of a wooden spoon, stirring constantly.
Remove from the heat and whisk in the goat cheese until completely melted and incorporated.
Cool to room temperature. Cover and refrigerate until cold. Process in an ice cream maker according to your machine's manufacturer's instruction. Freeze until firm.


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Science Drama
Objective :
Drama is one of the effective media for communication which is used extensively all over the world to express ideas and messages to all classes of the society. National Science Drama Festival (NSDF) is organised by National Council of Science Museums (NCSM), a pioneer institution involved in popularising science. The festival is held at district level, then at the state level by State Institute of Science Education, Jabalpur. The state level competition is organised in collaboration with Regional Science Centre Bhopal and the first two winner teams are sent to participate in the Zonal level at Mumbai. First two winners of the zonal level drama festival are invited to present their drama in NSDF which is held every year at one of the NCSM centres.
Topics for National Science Drama Festival are:
Life of a Scientist
Save Energy
Space & Mankind
Health for All
Wonder world of Mathematics
Who can participate :
The competition is open to the students of 8-10 std. Two winning teams from each zone (North, South, East, West) of the country will participate in the National Science Drama Festival.
• The drama can be in any official language.
• Duration of the play should not be more than 30 minutes
• There should not be more than 8 characters in the drama
• The drama must convey a scientific message
• The drama team should be able to set-up and stage the play within 10 minutes.
• The language should be easy to follow
• Elements of fun may be taken into consideration.


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When you buy a Hillsdale Furniture piece, you are part of a company that is positioned to give you the very "best of the best" in value, style, finish, and service.


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The First Cut
Here's something that I had planned to never blog about: my son's penis. Not about the novelty of having a baby with a penis (because, really: contrary to all expectation, the novelty wears off. A baby penis is just a little version of the appendage that you've seen before, and once you get accustomed to the risk of being sprayed during diaper changes, there's really nothing particularly complicated about its care and maintenance), not about the differences between be-penised babies and be-vulvaed babies (there'll be plenty of opportunity to reflect upon gender differences as these pertain to my son and daughter without considering their genitalia) and certainly not about our decision whether or not to make that all-too-significant snip. Circumcision, above all else, was not something that I was going to blog about. Too personal. Too controversial. Nothing to say about it.
I changed my mind. I still regard the topic as dangerously personal and controversial, but I do, as it turns out, have something to say about it.
My husband and I agonized over whether or not to circumcise Jasper. Actually, that's not true: I agonized over whether or not to circumcise Jasper. My husband was pretty certain that he wanted to not circumcise - it's not my place to explain his reasons, but I will say that he (my husband) is circumcised, and that he does not practice a religion that encourages circumcision - and although my inclination was to give my husband decision-making authority on this issue - he, after all, knows penises better than I do - I was, for some time, torn. I had never seen an uncircumsised penis. I had no idea - beyond the most rudimentary, high-school sex-ed posterboard kind of understanding - what might be the implications of circumcising or not circumcising. I was all, what's a foreskin? And: why cut it off? But also: but doesn't everyone cut it off? And: if everyone else cuts it off, there must be a reason. But then again: cutting. I was very confused, and more than a little uncomfortable about the whole subject.
The only thing that I knew for certain was this: circumcision meant that someone would bring a very sharp object very close to a very delicate part of my very little baby, and I didn't like that idea one bit.
I read every article, medical and otherwise, that I could get my virtual hands on. I read anti-circumcision articles and pro-circumcision articles. I read about how circumcision might reduce rates of certain kinds of infections, and about how such reductions were most likely statistically irrelevant in North America. I read many personal essays by parents who are pro-circumcision, and many by parents who are anti-circumcision. I saw many comparisons to female genital mutilation, which I dismissed intellectually, but which haunted me nonetheless. I resisted being haunted. I worried about resisting being haunted. I worried about the ethics of making such a decision for my child: what would my boy want, if he were able to ask himself the question? I asked my husband; he knew his own answer. I wasn't sure that that was enough.
I worried about how much I was worrying over the issue.
I read more articles.
I read that the pediatric associations of both the United States and of Canada recommended against circumcision. They were circumspect about it, to be sure: they fall all over themselves assuring concerned parents that it's a personal decision, a decision that only the family can make. But they still get their message across: there's no medical reason for a child to be circumcised.
That, however, was not the reason that I decided that I did not want Jasper to be circumcised. I decided that I did not want Jasper to be circumcised, simply, because I could not bear to allow anything to happen to him that would cause him unnecessary hurt. I could not bear the idea of the flash of a blade near his little body, the slice that would cause him to cry out in pain.
This was - this is - an intensely personal decision. In a way, it was a selfish decision: I made (and my husband supported) a decision based upon my feelings, my fears. It is Jasper, however, who will live with this decision. If I chose, I could weave a story, a philosophy, about how decisions such as these demand that we consider most seriously the passive option - that we do nothing that takes away from the individual that our child will become, that we do nothing that constrains that individual, that robs that individual of anything, literally or figuratively - but that would be bullshit. As parents, we make decisions every day - every hour - that shape our childrens' futures with little conscious regard for whether or not our children, looking back, would want us to consider those decisions differently. We take away little pieces of potential futures for our children with every step that we take - and with every step that we take, every decision that we make, we also add pieces, we also build possibilities into those futures. Obviously, in an ideal world, we would make all the right decisions, and our children would one day congratulate us for caring for them and protecting their interests perfectly. But ours is not an ideal world, and we make decisions under imperfect conditions, and we can be assured only that we will, as parents, achieve imperfect results.
So I didn't choose to not circumcise my son because I was perfectly convinced that it was right thing to do, because I believed that it was the thing that he, someday, would thank me for doing. I didn't make the choice that I did because I think that all parents should make that choice. I didn't choose to not circumcise because I came to the conclusion that it was the only choice that a good mother could make. I did it only because I didn't want to cut him.
It was the only thing that I could do, the only choice that I could make, for me. I can only hope that I did right, that I chose right, by him.
(I've not yet drawn a name for the Motozine from last week's giveaway; I'll do so at first opportunity and post the winner by Thursday. In the meantime, thank you all so very, very much for sharing your generosity of spirit in the comments, and, as always for your love and support.)


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At CNSI, we fully embrace differences in race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, age, and ability as central to our core values.
We seek to educate and celebrate how our differences unite us and make us individually better and collectively stronger as a company. Diversity and inclusion power our healthcare technology innovation and inspire us to develop the best products and solutions. We are better as a company when the people we employ reflect our clients and the people they serve.


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Waiting For JPMorgan And The Whale
Ever since the peak of the financial crisis, we've been treated to the occasional spectacle that leaves the market and its hangers-on in a tizzy: unveiling the terms of new bailout programs, revealing bank stress-test results, and, not long ago, JPMorgan Chase's chief executive on the hot seat before Congress.
Friday brings us another in the series: JPMorgan Chase will announce its second-quarter earnings. Normally, this would be a moderately significant event, thanks to JPMorgan's size and the fact that it's reporting first among the big banks.
But this time, there's a bigger draw: The company is expected to update the world on its multi-billion-dollar losses, the result of the "London whale" — and detail what the company is doing in response.
The whale, of course, refers to a JPMorgan trader in London who has been blamed at least in part for an ill-fated investment strategy that, as of May, had cost the bank $2 billion. Since then, reports suggest the losses could have ballooned to as much as $9 billion.
The big bank is pulling out all the stops. It's breaking the news at 7:30 a.m., instead of its typical 9 a.m., presumably to give the market more time to digest any unpleasantness. An executive overseeing the company's investigation into the losses will join Chief Executive Jamie Dimon and other regulars on the earnings call. The company is gathering stock analysts at its headquarters, instead of just holding the usual conference call, Bloomberg News tells us.
For those listening at home (or at the office), the Associated Press offers four key questions as a guide: How big are the losses? How much pay will the company try to claw back from which executives and former executives? How will Dimon come off — brash or cowed? And, of course, how will the losses affect profits?
We'd add a few other thoughts:
That bit about profits is probably the least significant. Unless the losses have grown phenomenally, JPMorgan can probably absorb them, and even make up for them with income from elsewhere in its operations. If necessary, it can always sell some long-term investments, recognizing gains that add to income. That kind of "low-quality" earnings isn't what investors prefer — they like income from ongoing and healthy lines of business, rather than quick one-time fixes like asset sales — but the bottom line isn't expected to suffer dramatically.
Also, watch what the bank says about the risk of more losses to come. Whatever dollar figure JPMorgan puts on the trading losses tomorrow, they could keep growing unless the bank manages to close out of its positions, which is taking some time.
Finally, what effect, if any, will JPMorgan's new disclosures have on regulatory reform efforts? JPMorgan's struggle with its whale of a bet has driven home just how risky and impenetrable the big banks still are. That has sharpened attention on banking regulation more than anything we've seen in a while. Another Bloomberg article says the SEC is already looking at pushing banks to disclose more about how they model potential losses. Depending what the company says, and whether it comes off as sufficiently penitential, regulatory efforts across the banking sector could gain or lose steam.
Oh, and if you like the idea that JPMorgan might try to recoup pay from some executives involved in the losses, don't hold your breath. Clawbacks are not only rare, they can drag on for months or years without resolution, if the executive decides to fight the move.


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Womens' doctors should be on the lookout for patients whose partners are unduly pressuring them to become pregnant — or even sabotaging their efforts to use contraception.
That's the advice from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, which just published recommendations for doctors about reproductive and sexual coercion.
The terms cover interference with contraceptive use, such as destroying birth control pills or poking holes in a condom, and behavior intended to pressure someone into having sex but that stops short of physical force.
A 2010 survey from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that about 4.8 percent of women in the U.S. reported having had an intimate partner who tried to get them pregnant against their wishes or to stop them from using birth control.
ACOG recommends that OB-GYNs routinely screen women and adolescents for coercion at annual exams and during prenatal and postpartum visits. Doctors can help affected patients conceal contraceptive methods, such as giving birth control pills in a plain envelope or using a copper IUD with the strings trimmed to prevent detection, the group says.
The committee also recommends that doctors put educational materials on coercion in plain view in places such as office bathrooms and exam rooms. And doctors should see the patient alone for at least part of the visit so she can speak freely.
While ACOG's recommendations are aimed at doctors who treat women, men can also be subject to pressure. About 8.7 percent of men reported having a partner who tried to get pregnant against their wishes or to stop them from using contraception, the CDC survey found.
A study conducted by Guttmacher Institute researcher Ann Moore and colleagues found that women with a history of intimate partner violence or sexual abuse seem to be at much higher risk for coercion. In the study, 53 of 71 such women reported male reproductive control.
"We found men coerced women to become pregnant and then denied paternity or men refused to use contraception and then demanded the woman have an abortion," she says. "It's not necessarily about the outcome, but about the control."
She says in addition to the screening opportunities cited by ACOG, screening women at the time of abortion is also a good tactic for identifying victims of reproductive coercion, since multiple abortions may be a sign that a woman is facing this kind of pressure.
ACOG's committee opinion was published in the February issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology.
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


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San Diego, CA – Zack Greinke had his left arm in a sling and a dazed look on his face as he told his side of the story. Barely two hours before, the $147 million Dodgers pitcher was injured in a wild fight with the San Diego Padres that didn't even end when the game did.
Greinke broke his left collarbone in a bench-clearing brawl during Los Angeles' 3-2 victory Thursday night, leaving the Dodgers so furious that Matt Kemp confronted Padres slugger Carlos Quentin nose-to-nose as the two were leaving Petco Park.
Juan Uribe's pinch-hit home run in the eighth put the Dodgers ahead, two innings after Greinke hit Quentin on the left shoulder with a pitch.
The slugger started walking toward the mound and Greinke appeared to say something. The 6-foot-2, 240-pound Quentin then charged the 2009 AL Cy Young Award winner, who is 6-2 and 195 pounds. They dropped their shoulders and collided, and Quentin tackled the pitcher to the grass.
Quentin and Greinke ended up at the bottom of a huge scrum as players from both sides ran onto the field and jumped in.
Dodgers manager Don Mattingly was livid, saying it shouldn't have happened because Quentin was hit on a 3-2 pitch in a one-run game.
"That's just stupid is what it is," Mattingly said. "He should not play a game until Greinke can pitch. If he plays before Greinke pitches, something's wrong. He caused the whole thing. Nothing happens if he goes to first base."
Greinke twice hit Quentin with pitches when they were in the American League.
Quentin said his history with Greinke has been "well-documented. That situation could have been avoided. You'd have to ask Zack about that."
"I've been hit by many pitches," said Quentin, plunked more often than any other major league hitter since the start of 2008. "Some have been intentional, some have not been. For the amount I have been hit and my hitting style, I'm going to repeat: I have never reacted that way."
Kemp, one of four players ejected following the fight, found Quentin as they were leaving the ballpark after the game. The 6-foot-4, 214-pound Kemp briefly went nose-to-nose with Quentin before Padres pitcher Clayton Richard, who is 6-5 and 245 pounds, stepped between them. Police and security moved in to break it up.
Both teams said the melee could have been avoided.
"I never hit him on purpose," said Greinke, who still appeared shaken after the game. "I never thought about hitting him on purpose. He always seems to think that I'm hitting him on purpose, but that's not the case. That's all I can really say about it."
Asked if there was bad blood between the teams, Greinke said: "Now there probably is. I don't know if there was beforehand."
He said the injury was "awful. It's silly that something could happen like that. I'm disappointed."
When the players were finally pulled apart, Quentin was led off the field by teammate Mark Kotsay. Greinke was checked by Mattingly and a trainer before walking off toward the dugout, his uniform top disheveled after it had been pulled over his head by Quentin.
Greinke lowered his left (non-throwing) shoulder into Quentin and took the brunt of the blow as they collided. The right-hander, who had his wife and in-laws in the stands, joined the Dodgers as a free agent in the offseason, signing a $147 million, six-year contract.
He missed time during spring training with a tender right elbow and the flu. Quentin was slowed by a balky right knee after having offseason surgery.
After the teams started going back to the dugouts and bullpens, Jerry Hairston Jr. came running across the field yelling and pointing at someone in the San Diego dugout and had to be restrained.
Kemp was angry after finding out the severity of Greinke's injury.
"I'm asking Greinke if he's OK and he said his shoulder's messed up. That kind of took me over the edge right there," Kemp said.
"I think Carlos Quentin went to Stanford, something like that?" Kemp said. "I heard there's smart people at Stanford. That wasn't too smart. Greinke didn't do anything wrong. That stuff happens in the minor leagues. It doesn't happen in the big leagues."
The benches and bullpens emptied again, leading to pushing and shoving. It did not appear any punches were thrown, but suspensions and fines are sure to follow.
Quentin, Kemp, Hairston and Greinke were ejected. Los Angeles reliever Chris Capuano was given all the time he needed to warm up when play finally resumed after a delay of about 15 minutes.
Following the game, the Dodgers announced that Greinke has a broken collarbone. It's uncertain how long he will be sidelined.
Quentin was hit by a pitch above the right wrist by Dodgers reliever Ronald Belisario on Tuesday and had to leave the game. He sat out Wednesday night's game.
Greinke plunked Quentin once in 2008 and once in 2009, according to STATS. Coming into the game, Quentin was 6 for 24 with three homers against Greinke.
Quentin has been hit by pitches 116 times in his career, including an AL-high 23 times in 2011 with the Chicago White Sox. Greinke has hit 46 batters since his big league debut in 2004.
After play resumed, Alexi Amarista pinch-ran for Quentin, advanced on a wild pitch and scored on Yonder Alonso's single to tie the game at 2.
Uribe homered to left on a 3-2 pitch from Luke Gregerson (1-1) with one out in the eighth to give the Dodgers a 3-2 lead.
Matt Guerrier (1-0) retired the only batter he faced, getting Jesus Guzman to fly out to end the seventh with runners on first and second. Kenley Jensen pitched the ninth for his first save.
Former San Diego star Adrian Gonzalez hit a two-run homer deep into the seats down the right-field line with two outs in the first off Marquis, his first. Carl Crawford was aboard on a leadoff single.
Marquis allowed two runs and seven hits in five innings, struck out five and walked four.
NOTES: The Dodgers took two of three from the Padres. ... L.A. heads to Arizona for a three-game series starting Friday night, with LHP Clayton Kershaw (2-0, 0.00 ERA) scheduled to face LHP Patrick Corbin (1-0, 3.00). The Padres open a three-game home series against Colorado, with RHP Tyson Ross (0-1, 4.50) scheduled to face RHP Jon Garland (1-0, 3.00). ... Andre Ethier singled in the seventh to extend his hitting streak to 11 games. ... Greinke reached 1,500 career innings. ... The Padres dropped to 2-7, matching last year's start.


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PHP 5.3.6 Released!
The PHP development team would like to announce the immediate
availability of PHP 5.3.6. This release focuses on improving the
stability of the PHP 5.3.x branch with over 60 bug fixes, some of which
are security related.
Security Enhancements and Fixes in PHP 5.3.6:
Enforce security in the fastcgi protocol parsing with fpm SAPI.
Fixed bug #54247 (format-string vulnerability on Phar). (CVE-2011-1153)
Fixed bug #54193 (Integer overflow in shmop_read()). (CVE-2011-1092)
Fixed bug #54055 (buffer overrun with high values for precision ini setting).
Fixed bug #54002 (crash on crafted tag in exif). (CVE-2011-0708)
Fixed bug #53885 (ZipArchive segfault with FL_UNCHANGED on empty archive). (CVE-2011-0421)
Key enhancements in PHP 5.3.6 include:
Upgraded bundled Sqlite3 to version 3.7.4.
Upgraded bundled PCRE to version 8.11.
Added ability to connect to HTTPS sites through proxy with basic authentication using stream_context/http/header/Proxy-Authorization.
Added options to debug backtrace functions.
Changed default value of ini directive serialize_precision from 100 to 17.
Fixed Bug #53971 (isset() and empty() produce apparently spurious runtime error).
Fixed Bug #53958 (Closures can't 'use' shared variables by value and by reference).
Fixed bug #53577 (Regression introduced in 5.3.4 in open_basedir with a trailing forward slash).
Over 60 other bug fixes.
Windows users: please mind that we do no longer provide builds created
with Visual Studio C++ 6. It is impossible to maintain a high quality
and safe build of PHP for Windows using this unmaintained compiler.
For Apache SAPIs (php5_apache2_2.dll), be sure that you use a Visual
Studio C++ 9 version of Apache. We recommend the Apache builds as provided
by ApacheLounge. For any other SAPI (CLI,
FastCGI via mod_fcgi, FastCGI with IIS or other FastCGI capable
server), everything works as before. Third party extension providers
must rebuild their extensions to make them compatible and loadable with
the Visual Studio C++9 builds that we now provide.
All PHP users should note that the PHP 5.2 series is NOT supported anymore. All users
are strongly encouraged to upgrade to PHP 5.3.6.
For a full list of changes in PHP 5.3.6, see the
ChangeLog. For source downloads
please visit our downloads page, Windows
binaries can be found on windows.php.net/download/.