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Taste the Titanic's menu
Rayanne House, Belfast
That this Edwardian feast lives on is thanks to one man: chef Conor McClelland of Rayanne House. Nestled in the cosy, tree lined suburbs of Belfast Rayanne House is HQ for Titanic-themed tastings. And it's not just on the plate where you'll get a sense of the ship. From the balconies in the guest rooms there, guests can look out onto Belfast Lough where Titanic first sailed. Menus are printed on Titanic tickets and little hints of the ship dot the interior.
It's in a kitchen, however, where chef McClelland meticulously recreates Titanic's First Class menu every night – all nine courses of it.
Five White StarsContrary to popular belief, all passengers on board the Titanic, from the steerage paupers to the elite, enjoyed good food. Unsurprisingly, the first class dishes were the most indulgent.
If you want an idea of just how important food was to the White Star Line, look at their wage structure: after the captain, the head chef was the highest paid member of staff.
Rayanne House, Belfast
McClelland specifically uses the menu from the final night the ship was afloat, the 14th April 1912. That particular menu, and many others found aboard the White Star Line's fleet of ships, was heavily influenced by a certain Augustus Escoffier. Head chef at London's Savoy Hotel at the time, Escoffier was considered one of the greats of 19th century French cuisine.
Following on from Edwardian trends, Titanic's food was incredibly rich. As Chef McClelland tell us, the Edwardians based their social status on their girth. The bigger the waist – the bigger the wallet.
Edwardian proportionsAt the tables of the Edwardian elite, meals lasted for a couple of hours, and with were effectively considered the main source of an evening's entertainment.
Chef McClelland can sympathise with the Edwardian palate:
"Personally, I think I would have been a natural Edwardian as I am such a carnivore and we know the Edwardians loved their meat. Lamb chops were even served for breakfast on board the Titanic – yummy. What a way to start your day. Although, this diet cannot have helped your waistline."
Rayanne House, Belfast
To gauge just how much the Edwardians ate, Britain's BBC Four challenged the constitutions of two presenters on the television programme, Edwardian Supersize Me. The show followed comedian Sue Perkins and food critic, Giles Coren as they spent a week living as a wealthy couple from the era. As the two found out, eating like an elite Edwardian ancestor could lead to you contracting gout, among other painful medical conditions, within weeks. Is it any wonder that the average life expectancy for Edwardian men was 42?
Size mattersFear not though. One night at Rayanne House will not send you to an early grave. After all, everything in moderation.
"Most of our guests are surprised that they manage to eat all of the nine courses and I have tailored the menu portions to suit today's palate. The original menu consisted of 11 courses and the portions would most definitely have been larger. The secret is to pace the menu over approximately 3 hours", McClelland says.
If he had to recommend just one dish from his vast menu, it would be "the Roasted Squab/Pigeon and watercress salad with grilled asparagus and Saffron champagne vinaigrette. I love the combination of all the flavours together."
McClelland is eager for customers to come away with a sense of the Titanic and Belfast city is brimming with the ship's legacy. Over nine courses and in sight of the very lough where Titanic sailed, he has done just that and a little bit more.


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This is Science Friday. I'm Flora Lichtman. In his new book "Hallucinations," Oliver Sacks writes that you see with your brain, not with your eyes, and his book suggests our brains can play some bizarre tricks on us. Dr. Sacks describes a musician who sees intricate, but unplayable, sheet music superimposed on his field of vision. There's a patient who smells roast beef every time a migraine is coming on. The famous botanist, Carl Linnaeus, was visited by his own doppelganger. In fact, he'd spot himself picking flowers beside him. He even - Linnaeus even entered his own classroom to find himself already there. Imagine that. Sacks writes that some illusions occur with medical conditions, migraines, narcolepsy, Parkinson's, epilepsy. Some are caused by psychedelic drugs, like LSD. But for many hallucinations, the cause is not well understood. If you have a question for Dr. Sacks, please give us a ring. Our number is 1(800) 989-TALK. 1(800) 989-8255, or tweet us @SciFri. Let me introduce Dr. Sacks, now. He's the author of "Hallucinations" and you may know him, also, as the author of "Musicophilia" and "Awakenings." He's a professor of neurology at New York University School of Medicine, and he joins us here, in our New York studios. Welcome to Science Friday, Dr. Sacks.
OLIVER SACKS: It's a pleasure being here, again.
LICHTMAN: It's great to have you back. So I don't know if this is the right word, favorite hallucination, but which of them in the list that you detail in the book sort of jump out as the most interesting, or ones that caught you by surprise yourself?
SACKS: I think among the most curious are the sort, which Linnaeus had, in which one sees oneself, and a self which often precisely mirrors one's expressions and gestures. But I think they're all fascinating. All 800 sorts.
LICHTMAN: The one with Linnaeus was kind of interesting and other ones like that because people who suffer from these hallucinations sometimes can't tell which one of them is real.
SACKS: Yes, there's a more malignant variety of this in which one seems sometimes to look out through the eyes of the double and you're not sure which, if you're real or you are the double. And this is -this has always been a stimulus to Gothic fiction about doubles. So Dostoevsky and Edgar Allen Poe and de Maupassant and others have seized this as a ground for fiction.
LICHTMAN: Many of the hallucinations that you write about in the book, auditory and visual, come when someone loses a sense. Why is that?
SACKS: I think it's because the relevant part of the brain, whether it's the visual or the auditory part, is incessantly active, implacably active. It's always processing and if it doesn't have anything or enough to process from the outside, it'll dip into the inside and dip into memory, mind things, although they're then reassembled and scrambled in peculiar ways.
LICHTMAN: It surprised me that people who are blind have hallucinations and see things vividly even though their eyes don't let them see things.
SACKS: I work, among other places, in some old-age homes, and there are a lot of elderly people who are very intact mentally but have impaired vision or blindness. And I - 40 years ago or more, I was struck by how many of these people have hallucinations. They may not mention this spontaneously, people don't mention hallucinations spontaneously, but when they got to know me or if I asked, then things would come out. And the visual hallucinations of the blind, in fact, were described right back in the 18th century by a naturalist called Charles Bonnet and we speak of them as Charles Bonnet syndrome.
LICHTMAN: Were these patients glad to have some sort of vision back even if it was hallucinatory?
SACKS: I - patients may vary, but, in general, after being very startled and frightened and wondering what's going on and wondering if it could have ominous meaning, once they're reassured, I think they may get used to it and even welcome it in a way. One of my correspondents imagined his eyes saying to him, we know blindness is no fun, so we've arranged this small syndrome as a sort of coda to your sighted life. It's not much, but it's the best we can do.
LICHTMAN: One of the other types of hallucinations that seems relevant here is that people hallucinate, I read in "Hallucinations," your book, people that they've lost, people who've died who've been in their lives. Is this sort of the same phenomenon at play, you're missing someone and so you make them up?
SACKS: Well, one would certainly wonder if it's that way. A death of a loved and familiar person leaves a hole in one's life, and visual or auditory hallucinations of the dead person are surprisingly common. They may affect something like a third of people who are bereaved. And they're often felt to be comforting and part of the mourning process, especially common in the first year or so after a death.
LICHTMAN: People in your book even hallucinated their dead cats.
SACKS: Yes, I've got, to my surprise, I have four cat hallucinations in the book. Two on the basis of bereavement and two on other bases.
LICHTMAN: I wonder if this is also, you know, I think people notice when they're missing someone, they tend to see them out and about or mistake people for the person that they're missing. Is this related? Is that a sort of minor hallucination?
SACKS: Well, this is very common, indeed. I know after my mother died, I kept thinking I was seeing her in the streets. I think it was probably some slight similarity of gait or posture or size. I suppose one would call these illusions rather than hallucinations. An illusion is seeing something wrong, whereas a hallucination is invented, comes out of the blue.
LICHTMAN: Do you have to see something to hallucinate it? Do you have to have had that imagery in your mind before to bring it back?
SACKS: Yes, I think so. It's difficult to know how, say, the congenitally deaf could imagine or dream or hallucinate any sounds or the congenitally blind any sights.
LICHTMAN: Have there been studies about - cross-cultural studies? Do people in China hallucinate different things than people in Spain, for example?
SACKS: There - I think there are quite a lot of transcultural studies, and I'm afraid I'm more ignorant than I should be. It is very common for people with Charles Bonnet syndrome here to hallucinate rather elaborate or often, 17th-century figures in sort of foppish dress with big headdresses. I had a brother who was a physician in Australia, and I asked him to investigate this among the aborigines there, but I didn't get a clear answer. But I think that there has to be cultural shaping of our particular sort of hallucination. Though the major sorts, I think, are neurological categories. There may be patterns, there may be faces, there may be, as you said, hallucinations of musical notation or letters. And all of these go with abnormal activity in particular parts of the brain.
LICHTMAN: How much do we understand about what in the brain actually is causing these hallucinations?
SACKS: Well, in the last 10 or 12 years, we've been able to do functional brain imagery on people as they have hallucinations. And one can find, say, heightened activity in what's called the face area, the fusiform face area, on the right side of the brain when people hallucinate faces, or a comparable area on the left side when they hallucinate text. Why these areas should be activated may have different explanations. Sometimes, there may actually be something wrong there, a little hemorrhage or a seizure focus. But sometimes, as with the - in the sense-deprived people, it's just as if normal constraints have been removed and a whole area has sort of become anarchically active and is just doing its thing.
LICHTMAN: I wonder if that lets people see things that you could never see in real life because the outside world wouldn't produce those patterns in your brain.
SACKS: Yes, I think this is one of the fascinating things about hallucination, that it can go beyond imagination and beyond experience. I had one hallucination myself in which I saw a color, a sort of indigo which I had never seen before and, basically, have never seen since. But it was cooked up by my brain.
LICHTMAN: Tell us the story of that experience.
SACKS: Well, I was back in my relative youth. This was back in 1964. I was doing a neurology residency, and I hit various drugs over the weekends, partly for fun, partly out of curiosity, partly in the hope of stimulating some creative spark in myself. And on one occasion, I developed a sort of a pharmacological launch-pad of amphetamine and LSD and cannabis, and when I was really stoned, I said, I want to see indigo now. And, as if thrown by a giant paint brush, a huge, trembling, pear-shaped blob of the purest blue appeared. It was both luminous and it seemed to be numinous, as well. It seemed to have a sort of mystic or religious beauty. I thought to myself, this is the color of heaven, which is an odd thought for an old Jewish atheist. But it was there for about five seconds and then it disappeared, and I had a great sense of loss. Although, curiously, I did once see it again, and the second time, I had no drugs in me, but I had gone to a concert and I was transported by the music. The concert was near the Egyptology Gallery in the museum, here. And in this transporter state, I wandered in and there were little lapis lazuli amulets and so forth, and they shone with indigo and I thought, it really exists. But then, at the end of the concert, I went back and they were just mauve or puce.
LICHTMAN: A different kind of drug, maybe, producing those colors.
SACKS: Well, it was certainly the - some of the same systems in the brain reward systems, pleasure centers, whatever one calls them, and even parts of the brain which may have to do with mystical or religious consciousness can be stimulated various ways, whether it's a drug or music or meditation or hypnosis.
LICHTMAN: You're listening to Science Friday on NPR. I'm Flora Lichtman talking with Oliver Sacks about his book, "Hallucinations." And let's go to the phones, 'cause I know a lot of people are going to want to talk to you about this. Zach, from Dayton, Ohio. You're on Science Friday.
ZACH: (Caller) Hi. Thanks for taking my call.
LICHTMAN: Go ahead.
ZACH: (Caller) I was just wondering if you could talk about if we know the exact mechanism of how LSD and other similar drugs work. And also, what's going on in the brain when one experiences a flashback when you're not actually under the influence of the drug.
SACKS: Well, unfortunately, serious research on LSD more or less came to an end in the 1960s. Basically, both Timothy Leary and others sort of spoiled the whole area. It's thought that LSD and DMT and some other drugs probably affect the serotonin system of the brain, but the amphetamines in cocaine probably affect the dopamine system of the brain. But there - you know, we now know 20 or 30 different neurotransmitters and they have very complex interactions. And I think a short answer is that it's difficult to define. It may vary at different times, as well as in different people. The business of the flashback you mentioned is very interesting and can be very dangerous. This became obvious in the Vietnam War, when some veterans would come back who had been blown up or been in hideous situations. And they may suddenly feel themselves, again, in that situation and feel all the people around them were Viet Cong and, if they had a gun, opened fire. We don't know exactly what happens in these flashbacks which can occur in various situations, but there must be some sudden physiological change. I don't think anything can happen in the mind which is not mirrored in the brain.
LICHTMAN: Did you have any experiences with LSD during that period that you described earlier?
SACKS: Yes, LSD played a part in the indigo experience but some other experiences.
LICHTMAN: I wonder if the flashbacks are - you know, it sounds like PTSD, if you might see some of the same brain regions activated?
SACKS: Well, it's difficult to have someone in a functional MRI with an unpredictable event like a flashback. But it is certainly very much as if there's an activation of some of the same regions.
LICHTMAN: You mentioned that LSD hasn't really been seriously studied and it seems like this is true for hallucinations, too, to some degree. Is that right?
SACKS: There's some - strangely this is the year of hallucinations because, beside my book, there are two marvelous books from Holland out on the subject. One of them is called "A Dictionary of Hallucinations." But I think, often, hallucinations are not taken too seriously and if a patient mentions them, they may be dismissed. But they seem to me, of enormous interest, and I think they are beginning to be re-studied, again.
LICHTMAN: And maybe more common than we're led to believe or than most people think.
SACKS: Absolutely. I think probably almost everybody has occasionally experienced a sort of hallucination when they're lying in bed, waiting for sleep. Often, then one can see geometrical patterns or faces very, very quickly changing. You don't feel that they're in the room, but you don't have any control over them. And they're not like - it's not like imagination and it's not like dreaming. It's a - but a census that - I can't pronounce the plural of census.
LICHTMAN: Well, we'll figure that one out and come back right after the break.
SACKS: But a census was done in the 1890s, and asking people whether they heard or saw things while awake and sane, and the answer is that close to 12 percent of the population did.
LICHTMAN: More on that in a moment. This is Science Friday, from NPR. This is Science Friday. I'm Flora Lichtman. We're talking this hour about "Hallucinations," a new book by neurologist and author, Oliver Sacks. And let's go to the phone so people can ask you some questions. Tom, in Long Island. Do you have a question?
TOM: (Caller) Yeah. Hi, thanks for taking my call. I was wondering about the relationship between the brain chemistry associated with hallucinations and that of deja vu, as I have recurring deja vu. And I've had it for periods up to several hours long and it certainly feels similar to hallucinations, which I have also experienced.
SACKS: I think one could call deja vu a hallucination or, at least, an illusion of familiarity that things have happened before. You've seen this. You've said this. Everyone has this occasionally. I think if one has it more than occasionally, one may wonder what's happening in the brain. In people who have temporal lobe epilepsy, deja vu may be common and may be the first sign or symptom. But sometimes, as people get older, they will have more deja vu. But other than saying that both deja vu and jamais vu are associated with memory systems and familiarity systems in the temporal lobes and the hippocampal system, I can't say any more.
LICHTMAN: Jillian, in Boston. Do you have a question?
JILLIAN: (Caller) I do. Thank you for taking my call. I was curious, I am a synesthete and I also suffer from optical migraines. I was wondering if the synesthesia had in any way affected the fact that I have optical migraines or vice versa.
SACKS: Well, I think you are doubly blessed or doubly cursed, or however you like to put it. I don't know that there's any consistent relationship. The synesthesia is now recognized, like hallucinations, to be much commoner than was thought. About four or five years ago, the frequency was put up from one in 2000 to one in 20. It was realized to be 100 times commoner. But I don't know whether there's any connection. People have very various attitudes to synesthesia. Some people love it. Some hate it. Some are indifferent. Some people can employ it as an aid to memory. It seems to be built-in and congenital and very consistent throughout life. It's often familial. And I think this is not the case with visual migraine.
LICHTMAN: Jillian, what's your synesthesia like, if you don't mind sharing?
JILLIAN: (Caller) So the synesthesia that I experience - actually, I love the fact that I have it because I'm also colorblind, and my synesthesia allows me to experience colors that I otherwise would never get to see. When I hear music, I see colors and people's names have smells and textures and sometimes tastes that go with them. So it's a really overwhelming and beautiful experience every day for me.
SACKS: And an unearthly one, if you see colors which you've never seen in the physical world. I know some people with this will speak about Martian colors. And one can also hear sounds and smell smells which are almost indescribable. But I'm glad you have a rich and, above all, enjoyable synesthesia.
LICHTMAN: Thanks for ...
JILLIAN: (Caller) I am as well.
LICHTMAN: Thank you for calling, Jillian.
JILLIAN: (Caller) Thank you so much for taking my call.
LICHTMAN: What about these olfactory illusions? I had never heard of that, but you apparently smelled buttered toast, I think.
SACKS: Yeah, well, I also have migraine auras and they're usually visual. But I've occasionally had other sensations. On one occasion, I smelled hot butter toast and had almost a sort of deja vu feeling that I was a two-year-old about to be put in a high chair and given hot butter toast. This occurred when I was in the hospital, and I was sniffing constantly and went in search of hot butter toast, which I couldn't find. It didn't quite occur to me then that it was a hallucination. I thought I was just associating to something which was there. But the second time, I was driving on the Bronx River Parkway and there's no hot butter toast there. Olfactory hallucinations are common and, in fact, diagnostic in a certain sort of epilepsy. Temporal lobe seizures are very often ushered in by smells. But probably, the commonest olfactory hallucinations are in the five percent or so of the population who, for one reason or another, have lost or impaired their sense of smell.
LICHTMAN: Well, what about schizophrenia? I think people have heard that hallucinations are common with that illness. Is that true, universally true, I should say?
SACKS: Well, I've avoided schizophrenia and schizophrenic hallucinations for the most part here because I think it needs a whole book to itself. But certainly, it's much commoner for schizophrenic hallucinations, if they occur, to be auditory and to take the form of voices and, often, unpleasant voices, which can accuse one or abuse one or jeer at one. The hallucinations are directed at one, where, say, the hallucinations of Charles Bonnet syndrome are like filmstrips which have nothing to do with one. There was a famous study in which the subjects pretended to be patients and to have heard voices, even though their behavior and their histories were not in the least suggestive of any mental apparition. But just because they complained of hearing voices, all of them were immediately hospitalized and given drugs for schizophrenia or psychosis. While, you know, a high percentage of people in acute schizophrenic states may hear voices, the majority of people who hear voices are not schizophrenic. And probably, almost everyone has heard their name called once in a while.
LICHTMAN: This is a topic that - this is part of it that really interests me, how you draw the line between a hallucination and what we all experience everyday. And let me give you an example I was thinking about. When people fall in love, we seem to think that things look more beautiful, like the afternoon or the trees take on a new sparkle. You know, it begets - it's almost a cliche. But couldn't it be true that, in our minds, they actually are more beautiful because of the brain chemistry?
SACKS: Oh, I'm sure sensations and emotions are enhanced when one is in love and the touch of the beloved is ecstatic, and all the reward systems of the brain are working overtime when one is in love. This is a strongly hyper-physiological state, as well as a, you know, a lyrical and beautiful one.
LICHTMAN: And yet, we don't call, you know, we don't call them hallucinations.
SACKS: No, well, I think they're not hallucinations, they're enhancements.
LICHTMAN: So how do you draw - how do you distinguish between one and the other?
SACKS: If I see a sky-blue cow in midair suddenly, that's a hallucination. Hallucinations come from nowhere and, for the most part, they are unrelated to what one is doing or thinking or feeling. They appear suddenly. They are involuntary. One has no control over them, and they're often enormously detailed, in a way which images are not. And they're autonomous. They do their own thing.
LICHTMAN: Yeah, that is sort of a bizarre part of it. You've watched them going on around you, but you can't control them.
SACKS: Yes.
LICHTMAN: I wanted to read a little passage from your book that's really struck me as I was reading. But first, tell me if I'm pronouncing the person's name right. Edward Lieving?
SACKS: Lieving, yes.
LICHTMAN: Okay. So I'm going to read a passage and then ask you about it. A century had passed since Lieving worked and wrote in London. Rousing myself from my reverie of being Lieving or one of his contemporaries, I came to and said to myself, now it's the 1960s, not the 1860s, who could be the Lieving of our time? A disingenuous clutter of names spoke themselves in my mind. I thought of Doctor A, Doctor B, Doctor C, Doctor D, all of them good men, but none of them with that mix of science and humanism that was so powerful in Lieving. And then, a very loud internal voice said, you silly bugger, you're the man. And when I was reading this, what struck me as so moving is that here we are 50 years later, and you are the man.
SACKS: Well, that mad sounding episode or manic sounding episode was when I was under a very large dose of amphetamine, which made Lieving and his work sort of, you know, enchanting, and which, in a way, triggered my own resolution to write. And I started writing my first book on migraine under that stimulus, and I've gone on from there and not taken drugs again. That final drug experience, I think, did what I hoped drugs might do, which was, you know, got the imagination and the mind going again in a way which it hadn't been doing in the somewhat depressive years before that. Having said that, I do not at all recommend to anyone that they do things like this. I took large doses of things by myself. It was very dangerous. I am lucky to have survived and quite a number of my friends who did this did not survive. And so, there are better ways to come alive than taking drugs.
LICHTMAN: Do you wonder what would have happened if you hadn't had that epiphany?
SACKS: I think it probably would have happened anyhow, but less suddenly and less extravagantly and less manically.
LICHTMAN: One thing in that passage that you note is the humanism of Lieving and, reading your books, I think it's - no one can ignore the fact that you treat your patients so kindly in how you describe them. I wondered if that just come - if it comes out that way or that's something that you consider.
SACKS: Well, I saw this with my parents, who were both physicians and how often their patients would become very dear to them, although this dearness must never compromise one's judgment. A lot of medicine now consists of large statistical studies, and these may be extremely important. For example, one could never have shown that tobacco was related to bronchial cancer without a huge statistical study. But for myself, the individual person and their story is always central and I care for them. And I don't think medicine or medical care is possible without a deep caring.
LICHTMAN: That comes through. You're listening to Science Friday on NPR. I'm Flora Lichtman talking with Oliver Sacks about his new book, "Hallucinations," which is terrific, by the way. Were people reticent to share their stories about hallucinations?
SACKS: Often. I saw with my - I've seen, with my own patients, how years may go past without the secret hallucinations being divulged. But when there's a relationship of trust and delicate inquiry and, sometimes, avoiding the word hallucination, which can sound ominous, then one starts to realize how common things are. For example, close to 15 percent of people who are visually impaired or lost their sight completely have elaborate hallucinations, and 80 percent of them have simple ones, geometric ones. I am one of those 80 percent myself.
LICHTMAN: You write in the book, especially as a young man, that when you weren't working, you would get unmoored and feel empty. I suspect that that may still be true. Is it?
SACKS: Yes, I think it is. I love working and I'm very lucky that my work gives me joy and, sometimes, gives other people joy. But a mischievous spirit gets into me when I'm idle, and I much prefer the week from Monday to Friday to the weekend.
LICHTMAN: On that note, what's next for you?
SACKS: I'm not quite sure. I'm going to have to wait for another epiphany. Although, there's part of me which wants to have a little holiday from neurology and do something quite different. And I always keep journals when I travel, and maybe a book of travel journals.
LICHTMAN: Do you have any top destinations before we have to go?
SACKS: Well, my last visit was in Iceland and - but, I'm particularly fond of the North. I have a Tromso journal, and I have a Costa Rica journal. One of my journals was published, which was my Oaxaca journal. But I love reading journals and I love writing them.
LICHTMAN: Well, I hope we can look forward to that. Thank you so much for joining us on the show today, Dr. Sacks.
SACKS: I've enjoyed it very much. Thank you.
LICHTMAN: Oliver Sacks is the author of "Hallucinations," "Musicophilia," "Awakenings," and many other books. He's also a professor of neurology at New York University School of Medicine. Go to our website if you want to see Dr. Sacks' desk. I had the pleasure of visiting Dr. Sacks in his office a couple years ago and we put together a video where we get a personal tour of the objects that Dr. Sacks surrounds himself with. It will not disappoint you, I don't think. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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Want to know what something is worth? Looking for a rare pin or vinylmation? Have a special toy or Disney related gift? Find like minded collectors, fanatics and bargain hunters here.
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Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Seasonal Non Sequiturs
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
For the granddaughter who loves dissecting frogs - formaldehyde frosting optional. (And you know, without the comma "Love Grandma" becomes more of a command. A really creepy one.)
Have a cake left over from Halloween? Meh, just slap a Santa hat on it.*
The head of a flower, the face of a snowman, the body of a slug, and a candy cane for a...belt buckle. (Please, let's just go with belt buckle.) "Let it Snow"? How about "Let it Go" - as in, away. Far, far away.
Brace yourself for this next one:
The mind, it boggles. Is this a frilly white Santa caterpillar, crawling up a red boulder? Or has Santa sampled some Wonka chewing gum (with cherry pie dessert)? The back certainly does nothing to clear up the mystery:
What IS that little bump? A tail?
Even more baffling, the decorator thought this was such a smashing design that s/he made it in miniature as well:
Now the bumps are on the side. What does it mean?!?
Try to picture those "cakes" without the plastic Santa heads for a moment. I'm getting a real "raw meatballs sitting in radioactive waste" vibe - how 'bout you?
Thanks to intrepid Wreckporters Brittney E., Meredith O., Kelly D., & Heather K.!
*I'm told this is actually a Grinch cake. Not sure that alleviates the wreckiness, though.
201 comments | Post a Comment
«Oldest ‹Older 1 – 200 of 201 Newer› Newest»- Boozy Tooth said...
BELT BUCKLE!! I wet my pants.
- December 17, 2008 at 9:23 AM
- Aviatrix said...
"Frog laid open in dissection" was the first thing that crossed my mind when I saw that first one, too. For the Santa-headed blobs I'm thinking leftover football cakes, with the white fuzzy stripes covering up the stitching.
- December 17, 2008 at 9:24 AM
Oh. my. gawd.
These are the most wrecky yet!
EEK at that "Grinch" cake!!
WHAT were these people thinking?!
Word verification: ookimpr: I'm speechless. - December 17, 2008 at 9:25 AM
I'm wondering if those Wonka'd Santas were originally turkeys of some sort, for Thanksgiving...
- December 17, 2008 at 9:27 AM
- milkyway said...
Jen, you've missed the most important point of all. In this season of commercialism and such materialistic focus, a few brave decorators are doing their part to cut down on the money spent(or the desire to spend money) by those feeling the economic pinch.
We should be saluting these fine men and women for their frightening creations. After all, they've pointed us to the PERFECT Christmas gift. For the person who has it all... give them a dose of non-reality. Clearly, they're using a product that we should all buy our loved ones for Christmas. ;) - December 17, 2008 at 9:27 AM
- Megan said...
Yeah, I suspected grinch, but that doesn't diminish the wreckiness. It's still godawful bad.
- December 17, 2008 at 9:31 AM
The Grinch cake looks more like Oscar the Grouch!
Erin T. - December 17, 2008 at 9:32 AM
- Kate said...
A grinch? A GRINCH? I'm still working under the assumption that it's a yule-tide Oscar the Grouch. And as far as the poor Santa trapped in a meatball, I wonder if it's red velvet cake underneath? Imagine the faces of the children when Mommy cuts that one open at Christmas dinner.
- December 17, 2008 at 9:33 AM
- Hyena Overlord said...
That's just all wrong. Creepy and wrong.
wvotd jahetual. Those cakes scared the jahetual out of me - December 17, 2008 at 9:34 AM
- pednurse said...
So now that someone has beheaded the Grinch and preserved his head in a jar.....does that mean Christmas is safe forever??? LOL
- December 17, 2008 at 9:34 AM
You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. No really, we mean it. That looks more like Oscar the Grouch on steroids.
As for those horribly bloated Santa cakes, I don't know what to say. It disturbs me a bit that they had to write "Santa" in black icing so we'd know what it really was. I'm not sure if I like your theory about the Wonka gum or if Santa is just having water retention issues. - December 17, 2008 at 9:35 AM
- The Dutchess of Kickball said...
That is not the Grinch, that is totally Oscar the Grouch with a Santa Hat.
And the complete mystery cake. I assume it was a Santa Head on a football. - December 17, 2008 at 9:37 AM
- Alison said...
Man, those last ones are mystifying. Does Santa boast the mullet to end all mullets? Or has santa become a mullet, writhing like a mermaid on a red-hot lava rock?
My mind is boggling, and it hurts a little.
word verification: whiesman. "Why oh why?" they whined as they followed the star. "It's all just gonna end in wreckiness in a few thousand years." - December 17, 2008 at 9:37 AM
That second photo looks more like Oscar the Grouch than the Grinch.
That's it -- Oscar with a Santa hat on his head. Or road kill on his head. Hmmm.... - December 17, 2008 at 9:40 AM
- AZ HS Spotlight said...
- December 17, 2008 at 9:41 AM
What the flaming hell? I especially love the first one. What is that, some kind of pine tree gremlin? Better be good this year or instead of coal, you'll get one of these little guys popping out of your tree on Christmas morning! The green freaky head under glass is great too. And I can only guess that Santa has some REALLY big, tied back hair on those last cakes, and that he apparently no longer posesses arms or legs. Perhaps a run in with tree gremlins?
- December 17, 2008 at 9:46 AM
I am laughing so hard it hurts. Literally. Too many sit-ups on Monday, but... uh.... I'm gonna go laugh at the meatball santas again!!!
- December 17, 2008 at 9:47 AM
I believe that the top "frog" is also a Grinch - his heart is growing three sizes (right through his chest). The bandy-legs are just because he's had a bit of chaffing from riding around in that sleigh.
- December 17, 2008 at 9:47 AM
DUH- That's obviously Walrus Santa.
He's really tiny and rides on Rudolph's nose while Human Santa is out delivering his presents, and leaves all the good little Pinnepedia boys and girls bukkits under their Christmas icebergs. - December 17, 2008 at 9:49 AM
- Unknown said...
Oh my those Santapillars are terrifying
- December 17, 2008 at 9:49 AM
- Zita said...
Maybe the bump is a scrunchy at the end of his mullet?
Zita - December 17, 2008 at 9:51 AM
The Santa-Bowling-Ball creatures are going to haunt me with the green thingy. It managed to scare my three-year-old.
wv: sterop, when a stereo flops - December 17, 2008 at 9:51 AM
- Angie McCullagh said...
All I could think of is that it looks like the whale who swallowed Jonah-Santa.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com) - December 17, 2008 at 9:52 AM
- Unknown said...
The one cake looks like Oscar the Grouch with a Santa hat. When I read how "love grandmom without the comma is more like a command" I started thinking of the movie Zoolander and the weird hypnotic "Obey my dog!" line. And the weird Santa lump cakes are beyond weird.
- December 17, 2008 at 9:53 AM
Hummm maybe it's santas bags ( get your minds out of the gutter, it's those bags he use to bring gifts) it would explain the little tail and all....but not the decapitated santa.
- December 17, 2008 at 9:54 AM
- writtenwyrdd said...
I always laugh at your posts, but "please lets just go with belt buckle..." ROFL!
- December 17, 2008 at 10:02 AM
Thank goodness you managed to explain the green monster - but the huge santa pimples are still utterly baffling.
- December 17, 2008 at 10:11 AM
Santa stuffed in his toy bag? Love Santapillers, imagine the adorable caterpiller/santa cake that could be made! Not that caterpillers have ANYTHING to do with Christmas, just cute!
- December 17, 2008 at 10:15 AM
- Dodi said...
I drop by every morning for my first laugh of the day, and you NEVER disappoint!
The wonka santa has me crying... this is the greatest blog of all time. - December 17, 2008 at 10:16 AM
I also thought Oscar the Grouch for the green thing.
And I think that those are depicting the return of the Great White Santa Whale. It's a Norwegian folk tale in which The Great White Santa Whale crawls up on the rocky shores of the fjords and blows presents and candy out of its blowhole for all the good little boys and girls.
Or something like that. - December 17, 2008 at 10:16 AM
I agree that the grinch is Oscar the Grouch. I think perhaps the Santa blobs are supposed to be santa hats. That would sort of explain the "tails." Why there is a santa head on them I cannot explain.
Wonderful wreckiness! - December 17, 2008 at 10:16 AM
- Alyson Button Stone said...
Wow, Santa-pillars! I was under the impression that insects didn't believe in Santa Claus.
In all seriousness, I believe the large red blob thing the Santa head is sitting on is his sack full of gifts. That, or it's a cocoon? - December 17, 2008 at 10:18 AM
aww, belt buckle? but the alternative is alliterative!
- December 17, 2008 at 10:19 AM
Maybe the last ones are leftover turkey cakes? And they just stuck Santas on them? Maybe? I don't know. - December 17, 2008 at 10:19 AM
- Denise said...
Nightmares of Santa slugs will now dance in my head.
- December 17, 2008 at 10:23 AM
Obviously the command to Love Grandma went unheeded since Gabriella has sunk to a new low. Now only did she not get a real cake, or a even CCC, but a decorated cookie cake. Wow. Remember when getting coal was an indication of bad behavior? Gabriella must be one bad kid!!! And can a frog have pointed ears? Part of me loves what looks like a snowflake on a pine branch, but the candy cane is comically misplaced. Just in case you thought cake mistakes took a holiday...here's proof that a wreck can happen 24/7....
- December 17, 2008 at 10:24 AM
I agree, I think that the first cake was probably intended to be the Grinch with his larger heart, but my first thought was Kermit.
- December 17, 2008 at 10:24 AM
- D.B. Echo said...
"Bring me the head of the Grinch on a platter! Under a glass bell jar! Or a plastic dome. Whatever."
Those Santa Slugs look like baby Harp Seal pups trying to avoid getting clubbed to death in the annual harvest by donning Santa masks. "You wouldn't club Santa to death, would you?" - December 17, 2008 at 10:27 AM
- megryphon said...
Instant reaction: Muppet cakes!
First cake: Poor Kermit!
The inscription looks like: "Merry Christmas Godzilla Love Grandma"
I didn't know that Godzilla had a Grandma, but there y'go.
Second cake: Oscar as Grinch.
Third & so on: Mahna Mahna, Doot doo de doo-doot
o<\\\;^) Jan the Gryphon
word ver. phiessea - the sound made by the bloated santa cakes when cut - December 17, 2008 at 10:30 AM
- kjl said...
Elyse, good call on the dissected frog actually being the Grinch! With regard to the Santa balls, I just have no words except what the hell. I just don't even know what else to say.
- December 17, 2008 at 10:32 AM
The Grinch cake looks like a green koosh ball that somebody slapped facial features and a hat on.
The Santa-pillar has me speechless. And what the heck are those green blobs? . . . Wait, I've got it. Maria is right: It's Walrus Santa, and the green blobs are the icebergs he leaves the bukkits under. - December 17, 2008 at 10:33 AM
- Chelle said...
So funny. *tear*
- December 17, 2008 at 10:33 AM
I was thinking with Yani at first .. santa's bag o' toys, but why no body? is he IN the bag? Then i remembered the cheesy movie about 4 years ago "slither" THAT'S what they were going for!!! the girl in the barn who eventually exploded into lots of the worm looking things that are crawling up this santa!
Whew glad i cleared that up in my head! - December 17, 2008 at 10:33 AM
- Emmers said...
wh..the last one.
WHY. - December 17, 2008 at 10:35 AM
As if it wasn't bad enough, I think Gabriella's name is spelled wrong. Unless her name really is Gabreilla. Good news is you can scrape icing off a cookie without too much damage. Happy Froggydays everyone!
WV is phiallik as in phiallik candy canes are inappropriate decorations.
--Becky - December 17, 2008 at 10:38 AM
- Chelsea said...
At least the Grinch/Oscar the Grouch head looks like it could be something... I mean, normally I can make some sort of sense out of even the worst wrecks, but those Santa blobs have me completely stumped. I have NO clue what the baker could possibly have been thinking, but whatever he's smoking, I want some!!
word verification: quepi.. that's what he was smoking... - December 17, 2008 at 10:39 AM
- Pata Fria said...
Maybe the big red blob is Santa's body?? And the other things are mittens???
- December 17, 2008 at 10:40 AM
- Chelsea said...
OH! I figured it out!! The santa cakes are the result of the baker having made WAAAY too much white frosting and needing to get rid of it before it gets thrown out. And the santa heads are leftover from making christmas decorations.....
- December 17, 2008 at 10:44 AM
"let's just go with belt buckle" - I agree! What were they thinking?? :)
- December 17, 2008 at 10:47 AM
- Bri said...
Awesome Wrecks!
I think these have to be some of my favourites!
Brianna McCarthy @ Passion.Fruit
http://briannamccarthy.blogspot.com - December 17, 2008 at 10:48 AM
The snoman has to be a Thansksgiving left over, that is totally the shape of a cornucopia. Maybe santa just had some bad eggnog?
WV:aseste-Could you please aseste me in figuring out what happened to santa? - December 17, 2008 at 10:49 AM
- queenb said...
These just keep getting better and better!!! I agree with Elyse, I think the first one is also an attempt at a Grinch...note the heart...
The second one is...horrible...similar to those baby cakes for showers...who is going to cut into the decapitated head?
And on the santapillers, what's up with the large one floating in blue with giant green blobs on it. I think it's more like Santa Monster. And what really cracks me up is that, similar to the 'Fireplace' wreck, the decorator had to label 'Santa' on it so everyone would know who it was.
So, here's our verse for the day:
On the third day of Christmas Cake Wrecks, Jen gave to me, three Santa Mullet Monsters, two attempts at Grinchiness, and a blooming snowman with a candy cane "belt buckle"!!!!!!
~Bonnie B~ - December 17, 2008 at 10:55 AM
The kid's name is "Gabreilla"? EI?
- December 17, 2008 at 10:57 AM
I thought #2 was supposed to be Oscar the Grouch as Santa Grouch (can you tell I've seen too much Sesame Street?). Looked at that way, it's still a little off base for the holiday, but a slightly more successful cake.
There are no words for the Fat Santa cake. I thought of the Violet Beauregard blowing up like a blueberry too. ::shudder:: - December 17, 2008 at 10:57 AM
- Bethany2v2z said...
I think the santa ones could possibly be a santa hat, it would explain the "lump" on the end. It'd just be the fuzzy ball that is normally on those hats. The only thing unexplainable with that theory is why there's a santa head on top... WEIRD!
- December 17, 2008 at 10:58 AM
- Deborah said...
Santa says "The spice must flow."
- December 17, 2008 at 11:00 AM
- Unknown said...
My daughter said the Oscar one with the Santa hat looks like a cat in weeds. I guess the eyes must look cat-like to her.
- December 17, 2008 at 11:06 AM
- HorribleLicensePlates said...
BWHAHAHA I can't stop laughing about the belt buckle and the snail santa, classic!
- December 17, 2008 at 11:08 AM
- Ross said...
I think the last ones are Santamaids or possibly MerSantas sunning on a rock to let the sailors know that the presents are due north.
- December 17, 2008 at 11:09 AM
Wow...now I think these may be just one of the wreckiest post EVER!....though the wedding cakes take a close second.
Hey Jen,
what not to crochet paid tribute to cake wrecks today by featuring a CROCHETED cake...with a swan on it!...check it out. http://whatnottocrochet.wordpress.com/
oh and the wv for the day: ingessed: what I don't want to do after seeing these cakes. - December 17, 2008 at 11:09 AM
- Theresa said...
"pednurse said...
So now that someone has beheaded the Grinch and preserved his head in a jar...."
That's exactly what I thought - but he's supposed to be good now. You know with his new and improved heart. Poor headless grinch. - December 17, 2008 at 11:12 AM
I am pretty sure that is meant to be a bag of toys... the bump is the gather at the end where it is tied up... why, however, they decided to adorn it with Santa's head is beyond me.
- December 17, 2008 at 11:15 AM
- Unknown said...
Egads! Frosty sure is frisky!
- December 17, 2008 at 11:17 AM
- Leslie said...
- December 17, 2008 at 11:19 AM
- Leigh Ayn said...
I said a curse word out loud when I saw the santa cake. The one that was once considered bad enough to give movies automatic R ratings.
(the word verification that I have to type is "biting us" haha) - December 17, 2008 at 11:22 AM
- Laura said...
Someone needs to start a shop called "Cake Wrecks". They are so funny, I would love to order one for a party. Quite the conversation starter. I guess in that case, I could just make my own. Undoubtedly, it could be an entry in your cake wreck blog.
Laura - December 17, 2008 at 11:26 AM
- The Chubby One said...
Yeah, the Grinch if he is standing under a VERY powerful air vent. I can see that...
- December 17, 2008 at 11:30 AM
- CaliGirl9 said...
I am making an appointment for nightmare therapy. Those cakes are pushing me to the edge of sanity! Scary stuff!
Happy Halloween!
What's that you say? It's Christmas time? Those are Christmas cakes?
(Dialing the phone faster.) - December 17, 2008 at 11:40 AM
- Unknown said...
Santa's eaten so much milk and cookies he's turned into Jabba the Hut!!
Dissected Frog..EWWWW!
~Amy B. - December 17, 2008 at 11:56 AM
- Michele - @OCPlayParks said...
Hilarious!! My first time here. You are headed for my Google Reader. I linked from Twitter. I'm telling everyone I know about this site. We can all use a laugh. It's funny when it's not YOUR cake.
- December 17, 2008 at 12:02 PM
- Bekaboo said...
Pause, I think the bump on the side of Santa could possibly be one hand?
- December 17, 2008 at 12:07 PM
- Sara and Randy said...
Those santa (?) cakes are unbelievable. Just- whoa.
word verification: layse: how a wreckerator would spell lazy on a cake, because said person is, well, lazy. - December 17, 2008 at 12:08 PM
I thought it was Oscar...
and all I can say about the Santa slug is that it recalled Alice in Wonderland, or perhaps more aptly Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit. - December 17, 2008 at 12:10 PM
- Word Ninja said...
Santa caterpillars!! I am STILL laughing!! Now I have to go stare at them some more; they are just BIZARRE!
- December 17, 2008 at 12:23 PM
- Christel said...
The Santa blobs/cakes made me think of the movie Slither.
- December 17, 2008 at 12:25 PM
- *James* said...
I don't get the 'grinch' cakes...I was just like huh???
word verification: nouns
first time i've actually gotten a real word :) - December 17, 2008 at 12:27 PM
I thought the Grinch cake was supposed to be Oscar the Grouch. Hmmm...
- December 17, 2008 at 12:32 PM
- Alisa @ A stitch in between said...
the creepy crawler Santa has got to be one of the funniest cakes I have ever seen. I understand artistic vision, but this is just pushing the envelope. And that flower Snowman!!! I mean... it must be cold there, am I right ladies? Am I right??
- December 17, 2008 at 12:42 PM
- Alexis said...
I...think the Grinch wreck is kind of cute. Even though it is unequivocally a wreck and doesn't resemble the Grinch at all whatsoever.
- December 17, 2008 at 12:45 PM
Ooh! After staring at it long enough, I think I finally understand what the snowman CCC is supposed to be (well, as much as one can understand these things...).
The green slug part is supposed to be his scarf, and then he's missing a body underneath that. Why the scarf needs a candy cane in it, I don't know, but it's a better place for a candy cane than his, um, "belt". - December 17, 2008 at 12:49 PM
- utaduta said...
its fudggy the whales christmas buddy. santa the great white whale.
- December 17, 2008 at 12:57 PM
A belt buckle. Mmm ya okay.
And isn't that Santa coming out of a chimney and the white frosting is the smoke that's billowing out?? I'm positive that's what the "decorator" was going for! - December 17, 2008 at 12:57 PM
- Rebecca said...
Oh! Oh! *tears in my eyes*
Frilly Santa catepillar!
Oh! My sides ache! - December 17, 2008 at 1:06 PM
- Deborah Godin said...
I really don't think the person who made those cakes should be allowed to roam at will in society.
- December 17, 2008 at 1:16 PM
- tamatha said...
That doesn't look like the Grinch. I totally thought that it was Oscar the Grouch. As Oscar, it's a pretty cute cake, I think.
- December 17, 2008 at 1:17 PM
those santas are REALLY creeping me out...eww!!!
- December 17, 2008 at 1:18 PM
- queenb said...
I love you guys! I come here first thing in the morning to get my laugh from Jen, and then after lunch to read the comments...and they just crack me up!
Rishabee....Santa pimples????? I just laughed so hard I snorted...
Word verification: borieran....Cake Wrecks is anything but borieran! - December 17, 2008 at 1:23 PM
- KimikoMuffin said...
Hmm ... Santa the Hutt, anyone?
- December 17, 2008 at 1:25 PM
I believe that's the particular shade of green that, when used in the rain forests of South America, says "I'm highly poisonous! Don't eat me!"
- December 17, 2008 at 1:26 PM
Thank you once again Jen! You made me laugh aloud - the folks sitting next to me in the airport probably wonder what's going on. The world definitely needs more wreckiness as comic relief.
- December 17, 2008 at 1:28 PM
- The Ferber Family said...
grinch, eh? i was leaning more towards a festively decapitated oscar the grouch, but i'll take your wrecky word for it.
- December 17, 2008 at 1:29 PM
- Wild Child said...
Actually, that Grinch cake reminds me more of Oscar the Grouch who seems to have donned a Santa hat.
- December 17, 2008 at 1:36 PM
- jengersnap said...
Something must be wrong with me. I laughed out loud at work from the depiction of Santa getting freaky with the reindeer rears, right down to the brown stubby tails. I just fear asking where Santa's hands are.
WV: flesse. The biproduct of beard on bump friction. - December 17, 2008 at 1:38 PM
- Juliet said...
The Santa-pillars are just so... weird. So weird that they existed outside my imagination until today.
>Deborah said...
>Santa says "The spice must flow."
Oh Deborah thank you! Yoiu beat me to it, but I was on my way to making that comment! All he needs now are those glowing blue eyes. - December 17, 2008 at 1:39 PM
Grinch, grouch.... they sound similiar.
- December 17, 2008 at 2:00 PM
- Candice Black said...
I think the leftover Halloween cake is supposed to be a Grinch. SUPPOSED to be. I have no suggestions for the red mound of Santa....
- December 17, 2008 at 2:03 PM
- Scritzy said...
Cookie Cake: Badly-executed Grinch. Although maybe "executed" is a more apt word that I think. You WILL love Grandma, or the Grinch dies! Bwhahahahahaha!
Snowflower: Um, yeah. Maybe after hitting the wassail bowl one time too many.
Green head: Definitely Oscar the Grouch in a Santa hat. I have an Oscar ornament that looks like it. Sort of.
Big-bloated-football-shaped-flowing-tresses-Santas: This is some baker's revenge. Has to be. It's the only explanation.
Unless that baker had too much wassail, too.
Word verification: uniondm. They may be college-educated, but they certainly don't have their uniondm. - December 17, 2008 at 2:06 PM
- The Chic Cakery said...
Duh! It's a beached Santa whale! *smacks forehead*
- December 17, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Usually I can at least sort of see what the decorator intended...but those last two....NO IDEA! (However, they may be my favorite Holiday wrecks so far!! I laughed out loud at my desk!)
And a side note...the "grinch" cake...it looks more like Oscar the Grouch to me... - December 17, 2008 at 2:12 PM
- MaryO said...
Oh dear lord. I MUST remember to take a change of underwear to work in case I P my pants reading CakeWrecks. Signing on and viewing the Wrecktastic has become part of my morning routine!
Santa Slugs, Santapillars or Santa on Steroids - take your pick! And I'm not touching the Grinch in weeds or dissected Grinch - too gross! I definitely get the radioactive vibe on the last one!
I'm howling, ROTFLMAO !! Thank YOU! - December 17, 2008 at 2:19 PM
i think the santa-piller is supposed to be a hat of some sort...
- December 17, 2008 at 3:01 PM
I'm pretty sure the white stuff on Santa's back is his bag. The bag comes up over his shoulder and down into the little bump which is his mittened hand holding the end of the bag.
- December 17, 2008 at 3:12 PM
- cupcakefail said...
I love Oscar the Grouch with a santa hat!!
- December 17, 2008 at 3:26 PM
You're a loser. I was trying to eat my sandwich and almost choked. This is my #1 site.
Merry Christmas Everybody! - December 17, 2008 at 3:27 PM
I love your blog, and I read it religiously every day. I've seen every single cake you've posted here, and there have been some scary ones...
but never..
Have I been so traumatized by a cake as the Santapillars. I think I might have nightmares about that tonight! *shiver* - December 17, 2008 at 4:05 PM
- Suzi said...
Oh No! Oscar the Grouch has jaundice!
- December 17, 2008 at 4:10 PM
- Kimberly said...
OH no, you totally bruised my ribs today! How could you hit us with four like that in a row? Ha ha!
and those meatball santas - hee. Now I want to buy one... - December 17, 2008 at 4:16 PM
Hilarious. Bravo, Jen, as always.
-Deb - December 17, 2008 at 4:20 PM
- December 17, 2008 at 4:21 PM
- Jonathan said...
The surrealists strike again!
- December 17, 2008 at 4:36 PM
- Kelsi said...
I want a Santa caterpillar. It looks adorable! And fuzzy.
As long as it doesn't talk. Talking caterpillars are Right Out. - December 17, 2008 at 4:41 PM
- Lady Éowyn said...
Here's hoping the frog with the really big lips is not a depiction of Grandma. Heh, because whatever it is has a vital organ showing through the scalpel slice.
Very poor Grinch, but I disagree about Oscar... he doesn't look like him either. Looks more like a furry pea with snake eyes.
I can't get over the Santa blimp though. :D Or is it a Santa duck? The first one does appear to be swimming... around seaweed... And that'd explain the tail.
Word verification: misistslo. "I'll be home for Christmas. You can count on me. Please have snow, and misistslo... and presents under the tree..." - December 17, 2008 at 5:05 PM
I thought the Snowman Blossom said "1st it Snors", and I'm not ven kidding.
Those Santa...things terrify the living daylights outta me. If you were cleaning in preparation for your holiday party, pulled up your mattress, and found a colony of misshapen Santa cakes milling about, you would cancel the party and move to another state.
At least I would. - December 17, 2008 at 5:13 PM
- the ginabean said...
What the AYCH was up with the creepy frog?
When I first saw the "grinch" cake I was thinking more along the lines of Oscar the Grouch. Wearing a Santa hat.
Also...that's the fattest Santa I've ever seen. - December 17, 2008 at 5:18 PM
- Unknown said...
Oh my, we've got dissectable frogs, Oscar the "Grinch", Wonka dinner gum with blueberry pie, AND a Dune reference?! This thread has EVERYTHING!
Everything, I tell you! - December 17, 2008 at 5:38 PM
- Lisa said...
I think the "Let it Snow" cake is a snowflake on an evergreen branch. The frosting pine needles are actually pretty good, and I like that the snowflake is actually the right shape. Weird cake, but relatively well done.
- December 17, 2008 at 5:44 PM
- sweettc said...
You know what I get one accidental Santa slug. I dont really understand the need to make it in mini form. Did they really think it looked better in the smaller version.
I think some was dipping in the egg nog a little to early. - December 17, 2008 at 5:48 PM
- Dear LA Drivers said...
I just noticed that the Grinch cake HAS a Santa hat on it! It's the flat top of the cake and it comes off to the side. I guess they get points for adding it?
- December 17, 2008 at 5:58 PM
Grinch? I thought he was some sort of albino Santa Merman!
- December 17, 2008 at 6:58 PM
i needed that santa blob--laughed til it hurt
- December 17, 2008 at 7:06 PM
I totally have those Santa Slugs all figured out. That first ginormous santa ball is Santa's little head sitting atop his bloated body, and that additional blob at the end of the white fluff is actually his mittened hand holding the sack of toys that's connected to his head. In addition, the little santa blobs are again, bloated santa bodies and the extra blob hat thing on each one is his hand, emerging from his bloated meatball body.
Oh, and my first impression of the green head was that it was Oscar the Grouch, not the grouchy Grinch. - December 17, 2008 at 7:11 PM
I saw a head-scratcher of a trapazoidal Christmas present cupcake cake gone wrong at the local Meijer today.
I circled the bakery for 10 minutes waiting for the store manager and bakery worker to get away from the case so I could snap a pic, but to no avail... They were guarding the monstrosity. Must try again this weekend.
Picture this.... It was an elongated cupcake trapazoid on its side; "wrapped" with 3 different styles of "paper"-combos of red, blue and white; with two vertical, parallel white "ribbons" so its "paper" was equally divided; plus what I assume to be a half-assed frosting "bow" in the upper left corner.
WV: zoodo..... Brown frosting makes cakes appear to have zoodo on them. - December 17, 2008 at 7:36 PM
- Blandwagon said...
I prefer to think of the Love Grandma line as more of an Austin Powers thing...
"Hey there sonny, they call me the Love Grandma. Wanna come over for some home cookin'?" - December 17, 2008 at 8:11 PM
A SANTERPILLAR!!! This is hilarious!!
Or from another angle, it does look like a whale.
I have no idea what it's supposed to mean! Is that an island, or some kind of partially-submerged turtle? But then what is the whale-looking stuff?
These wrecks are REALLY weird... - December 17, 2008 at 8:13 PM
- John Seavey said...
I knew that after a hundred comments, I wasn't going to be the only person to make the "Santa/Slither" connection. I'm just now picturing Kris Kringle, saying "There's something wrong with me..."
(Word verification: Curdu. Obviously the long-lost tongue of the cheesemakers of ancient Wisconsin, no longer spoken save in half-understood fragments at the mystical ceremonies of Burnett County. - December 17, 2008 at 8:37 PM
As I was lmao at the Santa Slug my 6 yr old came over to see what was so funny. He stared at the screen and then said in utter bewilderment "Mom? What IS that? Did someone make a Santa Turkey cake? Why?" Which made me almost fall off my chair I was laughing so hard!
- December 17, 2008 at 9:09 PM
Radioactive meatballs...maybe they're just trying to bring life to "It's Christmas at Ground Zero"!
- December 17, 2008 at 9:09 PM
- joyce said...
My husband wondered if maybe the Santas were in their sacks of toys?
- December 17, 2008 at 9:21 PM
I thought it was a combination turkey-santa cake ... like it could be sold Thanksgiving through Christmas. I thought "turkey" (after briefly considering football/holiday bowl games) b/c the "bump" looks like the drumstick (except there's just one:)
- December 17, 2008 at 9:53 PM
- Michelle said...
I love the "Grinch" cake. I'm sorry, but that looks more like Oscar the Grouch with a Santa hat, and we all know that he doesn't have that kind of Christmas spirit.
My 6 year old says the Santa caterpillar cake is "Ca-razy!" Future wreckporter perhaps? - December 17, 2008 at 9:56 PM
- cadylee said...
Those are "Dune" Santas, for sure.
- December 17, 2008 at 10:23 PM
I'm a lurker around here but have never posted a comment. However, this one warranted a post.
What IS that thing at the very top of the "snowflower"? Upon close examination, I believe it to be holly (which of course makes TOTAL sense). But at first I thought it was a giant green bug. Ew. How...authentic. - December 17, 2008 at 10:50 PM
- E.A.D. said...
My first thought at seeing #4 was "Santa joined ZZ Top?"
I thought someone at the bakery came up with the bright idea of making a festive green alien cake. "I come in peace this holiday season, Earthlings." The Grinch? Surely you jest.
WV: enticre - These wrecks have failed to enticre me into doing business at those bakeries. - December 17, 2008 at 11:12 PM
- sendingtheclowns said...
Don't you see what's transpired here (with the first cake, that looks more like a cookie)?
Look at the box. Its top is flopped open, reviling--I mean, revealing the cake /cookie, and the little, green, homeless, unfortunate creature, who had jumped /climbed in, looking for a warm place in which to spend a night.
Who knew that the lid would come slamming down at closing time?!
LIGHTS OUT!! Sleep well, my lovelies! The baker heads for home...
This is what was found the next morning. A scene fozen in time, a face (little and green) contorted in horror at seeing that there was no escape...
...I can't go on. *sniff* - December 17, 2008 at 11:42 PM
- Red Wolf said...
The Santas remind me a bit of Santa in "The Nightmare Before Christmas" except that they (the cakes) are completely horrible.
Word verification: bleeplin, as in "who let the bleeplin decorator run amok?" - December 18, 2008 at 12:06 AM
Is that cake for someone named "Galneilla" or what?
- December 18, 2008 at 12:07 AM
- April said...
Whoa--Santa the Hutt! Those things scared the bejeezus outta me.
- December 18, 2008 at 12:22 AM
I saw Mr Creosote (from Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life) dressed up in a back-to-front Santa suit.
Better get a bucket!!!
They may have skimped on the pate but they certainly didn't skimp on the frosting!!!
That snowman-flower-slug creature with a candy cane for a belt buckle missed his calling - he's even scarier-looking than all the strange creatures in one of the bad drug trip hallucination scenes from Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas. - December 18, 2008 at 12:23 AM
too many posts b4 me to read them all, But Santa looks like a mermaid! (merman) see the blue water and green seaweed floating around?
- December 18, 2008 at 12:45 AM
- Feisty Irish Wench said...
I didn't read the comments yet, but my first thought is that I see Oscar the Grouch. And upon a page search (handy dandy CTRL+F)I see that others do as well.
word verf: fulph - the noise made when one is consuming any of the above cakes...or looking at them. - December 18, 2008 at 12:58 AM
After having stared at it in baffled horror for ten minutes, here's my take on the Santa cakes:
Santa's sleigh obviously crashed while he was over a major body of water. He bailed out and all seemed lost...but wait! The Elf R&D department were clever this year and came up with just the suit for emergencies like this. With one pull of the ripcord, Santa's suit inflates instantly into a rubber dinghy and he floats fearlessly upon the waves, trailing seaweed! Now all he has to do is wait for Rudolph to pick up on his GPS signal and they'll have the old boy back in no time. Yeah, the cargo of toys was sadly lost in flight, but it'll make some people stranded on deserted islands very happy this year. - December 18, 2008 at 1:39 AM
- Monica said...
Once again, I'm literally in tears. Santa caterpillars! Oh my God. I love it.
- December 18, 2008 at 1:45 AM
- Dani said...
santa mermaids, perhaps?
- December 18, 2008 at 3:51 AM
- April said...
Grinch or not--it's still horrible!
- December 18, 2008 at 7:36 AM
- Raye said...
The Santa-meatball worm masterpiece is seriously reminding me of that movie The Thing. Any second that Santa head will sproud white frosting legs and crawl away.
Get me a flamethrower! - December 18, 2008 at 8:30 AM
- Kate C. said...
whoa... raw meatballs in radioactive slime? Or Invader Zim?
Either way - creepy yet hillarious! - December 18, 2008 at 2:57 PM
Baker: "Mr Snowman is that a candy cane or are ya just happy to see me?"
Snowman: "C`mon, you can`t blame meeee, that cookie-cake frog/grinch/creature is practically asking for it!!!" - December 18, 2008 at 5:43 PM
- Susan said...
Scary. Awful. But those white blobs of extra frosting in the twin Santa caterpillars climbing on red boulders are very very appealing.
Very appealing indeed. - December 18, 2008 at 6:24 PM
- ern said...
I those are supposed to be mullets on the Willy Wonka santas.
- December 18, 2008 at 8:30 PM
- sendingtheclowns said...
I am ever so weary of (okay, SO bleeding sick of) seeing "Let it snow!" on everything. Like we can STOP the snow. OR the song. (If only!) A snowflake leering at us from a branch wouldn't have been too awful had the snowflake been MUCH smaller; better yet would be to have more OF them. Without faces. Why settle for "just plain goofy," when you COULD have had "almost interesting."
- December 18, 2008 at 8:44 PM
You. Are. KILLING. Me. !!!!1!!1
- December 18, 2008 at 9:21 PM
- Zombie Edward said...
OMG! Santa has morphed into a Tremor!
(You know, the eighties movie with Kevin Bacon?) - December 18, 2008 at 10:14 PM
I don't know...maybe it's just my weird taste, but I think the snowman slug flower is kind of cute.
- December 18, 2008 at 10:49 PM
- laura said...
It doesn't look so much like a Grinch as it does a baby seal body with Santa's head attached. I can't figure out which I find more disturbing.
- December 19, 2008 at 12:49 AM
- Kris said...
My vote's for a Santa bride!
The big tuff of white is the veil. And the bottom with the little red bobble is the train of the dress.
And the second with the two smaller ones is two santas getting married. So they support homosexuality and political correctness in one shot!
And I loved the belt buckle comment. ;) It reminded me of potter puppet pals... - December 19, 2008 at 4:26 PM
The "Love Grandma" command made me laugh so hard that my cat abandoned my lap!
- December 19, 2008 at 6:36 PM
My first thought on the top pic was that it's a (somewhat anthropomorphized) disemboweled green cat. Clearly I have issues, too.
Wrecktastic, all. - December 20, 2008 at 2:39 PM
- 12 hour pills said...
...I have stared at and returned to the velvety Santa blobs several times in the last few days. I can not find any conceivable reason for why they look the way they do. My brain says that maybe, just perhaps, if the Santa heads were flipped around, the long white stuff could be his beard. Or his trim. But now he's just got tons of hair down his back. Or his coat is on backwards.
- December 20, 2008 at 8:48 PM
- ~* N *~ said...
Those santa slugs are the oddest looking cakes I've ever seen.
But why would anyone ice the plastic tray?? - December 21, 2008 at 5:34 AM
- Unknown said...
It's a caterpillar of a Santa, making his way up Ayers Rock.
- December 21, 2008 at 3:04 PM
I'm thinking Santa the Hut.....and all he wants for Christmas is a Princess Leia cake (wreck).
- December 21, 2008 at 10:48 PM
- Mel Celestial said...
Hee hee... the dissected frog reminded me of this person's post on Deviantart. As for those wriggly and fat Santas... they should help me to stay away from pastries for this whole season, I'm sure.
- December 22, 2008 at 1:55 AM
- aceiatx said...
I think the red blobs are Santa's body, the tail looking blobs are supposed to be his arm/hand and he is holding a white sack slung over his shoulder.
I note that this is so confusing the decorator actually had to write 'Santa' on the big one. - December 22, 2008 at 5:13 PM
- Little Miss Cupcake said...
OMG, I am laughing so hard I am practically peeing my pants. You commentary as usual is spot-on and hilarious! Thanks for making my Xmas more merry!
- December 25, 2008 at 3:00 PM
- Arjun and Indira said...
OMG those last few santa ones made me laugh so hard, I am still laughing. In the spirit of living in Florida, it reminded me of a manatee...hmmm manatee santa...now there is something you don't see everyday!
Thanks for this blog, when I am down I come here for a few good laughs and it does the trick EVERY time!
Damiane' - December 26, 2008 at 2:58 PM
oh, i've been going through your blog with my husband & roommate- we've laughed ourselves silly over many of these wrecks but the "santa caterpillar" nearly made me wet my pants. nothing like a good cake wreck to brighten your day!
- December 27, 2008 at 9:06 PM
- Oliphaunt said...
It's obviously a Santa "Metamorphosis" from Kafka, people! This guy wakes up one morning, and he's a giant sluggy bug of some kind, just like poor Santa here. I was traumatized for days when I read that story as a kid; betcha the decorator read it shortly before doing these cakes.
- December 30, 2008 at 7:11 AM
- Jen said...
Okay, so a friend directed me here, and it's been funny so far going backwards, but this one just made me LAUGH!! :-D Santa Slug!
- December 31, 2008 at 8:09 AM
- Sand Mama said...
OMG! I just found this post. Its pre- gastric bypass santa? maybe??
I'm actually laughing so hard I have tea coming out of my nose!!!
Fantastic blog! - January 18, 2009 at 8:31 PM
- CrazyMom said...
LOL It looks like Santa had, eh, a little too much turkey I suppose?
- January 31, 2009 at 10:11 PM
Late post is late, but as far as I can tell, that last bunch of cakes is Shapeshifting Santa in Seal form.
Why? God knows. o__O; Yes, when I hear "Santa" all I can think of is the cuddily marine mammal the Seal.
whut. - February 3, 2009 at 1:56 AM
I though tht ecaption 'I'm told this is a grinch cake' pertained to the meatball santas. I mean, it made sense in a Nightmare-Before-Christmas kind of way, I mean, didn't they tie up Santa in that movie?
- February 7, 2009 at 11:12 PM
- tabasco58 said...
Geeeeeez..........was laughin so hard......couldn't stop......and scared the heck out of my cats...........whoahahahhahhahaaaaa..
.........pleeeez......stop it!!!!!...
pain in my belly...... - February 8, 2009 at 9:53 PM
- Liza said...
I laughed till i cried... I love your wacky commentary to the pictures.
OMG, my belly hurts - May 25, 2009 at 7:56 AM
The Santa cakes made me laugh so hard my jaw hurts and tears are in my eyes. And it doesn't help that you're a hilarious writer! I laugh my butt off, then read the next sentence and laugh my head off! Quit it!
(just kidding. go ahead and continue.) - June 4, 2009 at 12:23 AM
- EEMorris said...
The grinch cake looks like oscar the grouch with a really bad hairpiece! and why do ppl insist on doing cupcake cakes? They just look so bad no matter what you're doing!
- July 22, 2009 at 11:25 AM
Okay, everyone, who wants SANTA BLOBS?
WV: dencin. Sounds like diaper cream. - July 29, 2009 at 1:11 PM
- Fanny said...
My sister and I think it's a worm!?! Maybe....Maybe just a little?...
Sarah - August 10, 2009 at 9:49 AM
Actually, that HAS to be an Oscar the Grouch cake. What else could it be? And though, yes, still disturbing, that thought makes it.. Well, understandable.. Okay okay, look, just let me think it's Oscar, okay?!?!? Geeze! *Puff..*
- August 28, 2009 at 3:47 PM
OH dear goodness. The santa caterpillars are had me loling. I looked at a lot of cakes on this site and that one kills me the most. I also want to know "what does it mean?!"
- September 27, 2009 at 2:29 AM
Oh the Santa creatures are a riot! Scary-funny! Or funny-scary! I almost DON'T want to know what the baker was going for on those! Yikes!
Maybe they're SUPPOSED to be Santa Slugs...that might explain how he's able to get up & down chimneys, although it'd take him years...DECADES...just to make it around the world at that speed! Not to mention how he'd have no way to carry his sack of toys!
Uh-oh, now I want a Santa-slug cake! :-) "Merry, um, something-or-other!" - September 27, 2009 at 1:38 PM
I can't stop laughing. Betsy
- October 14, 2009 at 5:23 PM
I'm guessing that Gabriella is a biology major, and her grandma just wanted to acknowledge that. The "grinch" cake sure looks like a bad imitation of Oscar he grouch. And the "Santa in the elephant poop" was the tragic result of good old Saint Nick deciding to add Dumbo(who is now an adult flying elephant) to his reindeer line up for added power. :P
- October 14, 2009 at 5:56 PM
I think the Santa with the Blue around it was originally an island.
- October 14, 2009 at 6:52 PM
It's the Santa Slug! Mutated after he survived the big cherry bomb in the sky.
Oh and those are not meatballs those are giant boobs! They bounced off and went rolling through the grass like bowling balls taking out a couple of Santa impersonators as they went. - October 14, 2009 at 10:19 PM
holy cow, that second cake looks like a head specimen in a glass case, something out of a sci-fi or horror film!
- October 15, 2009 at 1:20 PM
- Kelsey said...
Don't you people know anything?! The second one is definitely Oscar the Grouch holiday style.
- October 16, 2009 at 11:13 AM
- Aliceone said...
I am eternally grateful for your site. I stop by often to catch up. The stories and photos ruin me, reduce me to gales of laughter, complete with tears. I laugh so hard I can't talk and my partner is drawn over to see what is causing all of this mayhem. The caaakes...
- October 29, 2009 at 4:38 AM
I laughed so hard....what in the world??
- November 2, 2009 at 7:57 PM
- katydid25 said...
I'm really not understanding WHAT the heck those mermaid santa's are. Its so confusing! Im thinking its supposed to be mermaid santa who has surfaced to sunbathe on a boulder in the sea (kinda little mermaid-esque) Notice the blue "water" and green "sea-weed/algae" thrown on there... ? just a guess. I really have no idea. I love the "love grandma" command. That made me laugh hysterically outloud at work... at my desk.. then everyone was all like "whats so funny..." .. nothing. nothing at all people. get back to work.
- December 7, 2009 at 9:20 AM
Oh my god!! And I'm sitting at my desk at work, too. I laughed so hard -- soundlessly -- that I got nauseated. GREAT STUFF!!
- December 8, 2009 at 5:23 PM
It's Santa The Hutt.
- December 10, 2009 at 2:45 AM
- RundesNettes said...
That's not a frog, that's the mistletoad!
Bel - February 16, 2010 at 8:03 PM
- Unknown said...
I realize this is way after you posted... but I think the last one might be a Santa head on top of a Santa hat. The decorator didn't have a way of differentiating the hat from the fold, so the mermaid-blobs are the fold of the hat (which would normally be red). Then the red meatballs are what would normally be the white puffs. Why the Santa head is on top, I don't know.
Anyways, that's my theory and I'm sticking with it. - February 28, 2010 at 9:55 AM
I was laughing so hard about the Santa cake, I actually started to drool...
- March 30, 2010 at 7:33 AM
Lord have mercy!
It looks like Santa wandered down the wrong chimney and got his head stuck on a pike as a warning to others. - April 18, 2010 at 4:50 PM
Laughing so hard at frilly white Santa caterpillar that I'm crying.
- April 20, 2010 at 12:56 AM
I thought those bottom cakes might be sort of a "Santa in an Iron Lung" theme...except the iron lung is, yknow, seasonally decorated.
- June 19, 2010 at 5:28 PM
Come on... Clearly the wonka santas are santa hats with the plastic santa on top. Why on earth you would stick santa's head on top of it I can't answer. Maybe the hat alone didn't relay the christmas cheer, but if you add a disembodied head on top...that says "Happy Holidays"!!
- June 20, 2010 at 4:07 AM
- Summerset said...
I laughed so hard at the commentary for the caterpillar Santas that my eyes were watering and my stomach hurt! Thanks for the great laugh!
- July 6, 2010 at 12:09 AM
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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
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Although there are more than 450 plants in the blueberry family Vaccinium, there are a few main types of blueberry plants indigenous to North America - the wild, low bush, sweet blueberry plant, Vaccinium angustifolium, two high bush varieties used for cultivated blueberry plants, Vaccinium corymbosum and Vaccinium ashei, and the sour variety of New England, Vaccinium myrtilloides. The wild blueberry is native to northeastern North America growing from Minnesota to Maine and as far north as the Arctic. For the most part this variety is confined to growing in this cooler climatic area. The wild blueberry is a small, dwarf plant reaching only the height of 1 to 2 feet. The cultivated blueberry is a much taller bush planted in many different areas, and are maintained much like an olive grove or an orchard. Wild blueberry plants are not planted. They develop naturally from native existing stands and are simply managed. Although both types of blueberries contain antioxidants, it is the wild, low bush blueberry that was recently rated #1 in antioxidant activity by the USDA. To determine the antioxidant activity of various foods, the USDA uses a system referred to as Oxygen Radical Absorbance Capacity (ORAC). By testing the ability of foods and other compounds to subdue oxygen free radicals, the USDA was able to determine each compound's antioxidant capability. The ORAC value of wild blueberries is 2,400, the highest of 20 common fruits rated.
For centuries wild blueberries were gathered from the fields, forests and bogs of North America by Native American tribes. These tiny berries were a valuable food source used in stews, soups, cooked with ground corn and sweetened with maple syrup or honey, and made into a type of jerky with deer meat, which helped many survive the long, cold northern winters. The blossom end or calyx of each berry forms the shape of a perfect five pointed star. Native Americans called it the 'star berry', and the elders of the tribe often told stories of how the Great Spirit brought the 'star berries' so that the children could relieve their hunger during a famine. They used the juice of the berries to ease what they called 'old coughs', and to dye rugs, blankets, and clothing. They also made smoked berries, sun dried berries, and blueberry powder to flavor meats. They even used the leaves and roots to make teas. When the Pilgrims arrived, the Native Americans taught them how to grow and use native plants to help them survive. One such plant was the wild blueberry. They taught them how to sun dry and store them for the winter. Over time the berries became an important food source for the early settlers.
Unlike most commercial dried fruit, Eden Wild Blueberries contain no added refined sugar or high fructose corn syrup. We use NO sulfites, chemical preservatives, or additives of any kind.
Eden Wild Blueberries are a delicious, healthy snack that are great for lunches, camping, hiking or just a real good snack anytime. There's no need to limit them to mere snacking though. Use Eden Wild Blueberries in cakes, scones and muffins, in pie fillings and puddings, in grain and bread stuffing, in hot cereals or on cold cereals. They can also be used in making homemade granola, granola bars, popcorn balls and caramel corn.